#i am not a dog person. i actually really dont like the majority of dogs. this is my favorite dog ever. this is my best friend.

[tittysuckersworld]

THE PEOPLES LIKE MINE ARTTTTT AAAAAAA

[skeleton-or-die]

The sweetest and most perfect terminally ill puppy ever

[rainbowkeyboardyippee]

Tumblr in the Miraculous Ladybug Universe. _________________________

🔮 smilenshine Follow

Cold take but I actually do think being akumatised sounds like the coolest thing in the world

Like, I get super cool superpowers for literally zero work? Sign me up lmao

🧸 fluffy-sunny-rainbows Follow

Are you mentally fucked in the head? Getting akumatised means being controlled by a PSYCHOPATH who exploits your mental health to make you kill people. All the victims of H*wkmoth would like a word with you.

❄️ purpur-stairs Follow

^^^ My cousin's sibling was akumatised once and it traumatised them for life. They say they still have nightmares about it

🪐 number-one-fandomorono Follow

You can't even remember stuff when you're akumatised lmao that's just a bold faced lie tumblr user purpur-stairs

❄️ purpur-stairs Follow

Even if it was somehow a sort of lie it doesn't even matter being akumatised is the worst thing to happen to a person ever fuck you

🥦 ilovebrocollilmao Follow

Hey, as a previously akumatised person, i want to say that there's a major stigma around being akumatised that I think is unfair. OP is right that you do get to have cool powers, and you don't even do anything that bad (I personally just went around growing vegetables). Ladybug and Cat Noir just undo all the bad stuff anyway, and, as said above, you don't even remember anything from the experience. Honestly, I think more people should be getting akumatised, for their mental health :)

💡dingdingsingding Follow

that's a literal terrorist. like there's no around it, h*wkmoth is a terrorist. like i dont even know what you think youre defending that is just a freaking terrier

🐕 dog-typos Follow

Terrier

🦋 thensomesaywhenwell Follow

The inherent homoeroticism of being controlled by another man at your lowest, forced into doing his bidding through magical and unknown means, while his very presence changes you completely

🐴 theplanetearth Follow

Why am I not surprised the horndogs like the skinsuit butterfly man

🦄 peaceandloveon Follow

Is he really a terrorist if he does no permanent damage btw? Like all the stuff doesn't matter in the end, right?

📊 pleaseaskmetodomath Follow

Statistically speaking, out of almost 250 akumatisations, Ladybug and Chat Noir have fixed all damage that occurred in Paris 99.4% of the time. So, going by that logic, Hawk Moth was only a terrorist that one time Ladybug was helping the American Heroes.

👎 i-say-no-way Follow

No way!!!

🔮 smilenshine Follow

Who are you people, I posted this for my 2 mutuals

[thedivinecove]

Some Gods I worship and what they're like (UPG)

In my craft, I end up having VPG backing my UPG as I study history and religion as my major. I am oathsworn to these deities, so I worship and work with them almost every day (they each get a day)

Poseidon:

Poseidonas, Potedion

He is very chill and kind yet has a side to him that loves to debate. He gets passionate about certain things, which can sometimes seem like anger, but you will know when he's angry (earth shaker deity). He loves his kids but can sometimes get caught up like with Zeus. He also loves his wife and siblings. He loves demeter a lot as well, which makes sense as she was the original wife, most likely.(In multiple mythologies,Eleusis mysteries,and Linear B-A tablets. Boetian mythology and others. She may have been posedinia in mycnean myths) He loves wife Amphitriti a lot. He is enthralled by her. For Poseidon, it's good to remember he isn't just associated with water, so for me, I see him all around. He works with Demeter for plants (found out that was actually a holiday on an island and epithet of him that's fertility of water plants). He also loves storms, ecology, and animals of all types. He loves seeing his devotees happy and healthy.

Zeus

Zefs, O' dias βασιλιά μου

Zeus is an amazing deity. He has a personality that is head strong but also very kind and gentle, depending on his mood and epithet. He is very much so a father figure to all those he loves. I participate in Hieros Gamos with him so I dont really see him as a "Father" to me but i worship him as the father to all.

He loves all his kids endlessly, including the gods' demi gods and more. He loves his siblings similar to Poseidon, but Poseidon is much more vocal about that. Zeus is also very shy with his feelings at times and tries to pretend he is always okay. He wants to be seen as the king, but to Hera and those he loves, he can be a giant teddy bear. He is similar to Poseidon as he wasnt married to his wife right away, so he does care for those who gave him his kids as well.Hera unlike in myths doesnt hate his other lovers, as she knows she means everything to him and she is his as he is hers. He loves politics, tiny dogs for some reason, and of course, storm tracking.

Hera

Ira, Βασίλισσα μου

Hera is a kind yet scary goddess. She is a role model and someone a lot of people would want to be. She is head strong, passionate, and truly is the "king." Her and Zeus have a powerful dynamic unlike others based on myths in their generational tree (Gaia and Ouranos =chaos and so on in myths). Hera is very vocal about things she dislikes, and she is very good at reminding people what she wants or what she is promised. Similar to other gods, she has other sides. Hera is one goddess that, for me, can balance those sides very well, and there tend not to be a massive difference . She is motherly as well as powerful. She may be strict, but it still feels motherly. She will never yell unless it's needed (maybe at Zeus..) She enjoys the beach, cloud watching, small animals, and birds.

ଳThat's all for todayଳ

[sieglinde-freud]

Can I get you started on the derailment of Duncan and Courtney?

what is this, a total drama vent blog now? but yeah you can :) under cut

i think the derailment of courtney is like five thousand times more annoying than duncan but that might j be bc i dont really like duncan (hes fine in island, kinda boring in action (didnt deserve his win idgaf that shouldve been harold there. yes im still mad lindsay went home instead of him in rock n rule), and the entirety of that mid section of world tour just revolving around him and the stupid love triangle drama is SO annoying. and then he makes final five FOR WHAT??? FOR WHAT???? im sick of his ass. what was i talking about. right) but either way theyre both two very major characters so its just really sad to see them both fall victim to horrible characterization? cuz you start in island right and in general island is a lot more grounded than the other seasons and leans more into the fact that theyre all 2000’s teenage stereotypes so in island theyre just the good ol cliche good girl/bad boy couple its iconic, its cute, WAY more entertaining than gwent (but they get a pass cuz gwen was basically the main character of that season. u go girl. go get that bag AND that boring wet dog man) and its just nice. courtney shows signs of being controlling but for the most part duncan’s attitude gets courtney to loosen up a bit and have fun and courtney made duncan a better person.

and then action happens and then courtney is like. rightfully mad she got screwed out of the season after harold gets her kicked off and no one gaf but its like. you can see where this could go and it doesnt look great. not much happens for duncan except he gets more insufferable bc they didnt give him any friends this season? unlike when he geoff and dj to bounce off of now he just picks fights with harold and the other gaffers which IS funny but. basically action is where the red flags start being put up. their relationship is. fine. like i liked it at the time but knowing where it heads is upsetting. anyways

then u get to world tour and theyre close to their island dynamic again (with the exception of gwen being there…) but then duncan quits first episode which i think was actually a great choice bc of how courtney finally gets to stand on her own as a character without him (i actually really like duncney. but her character was always tied to him in some way yk?) and make her own friends and it was looking great! until i see london and everything goes to shit. dude comes back, cheats on courtney, and then everyone on that god forsaken plane gets involved. first of all, ISLAND DUNCAN WOULD NEVER??? no fucking way. not even action duncan. dude was HOOKED on her crazy ass. AND FOR GWEN?!?! who has never been the same since island but thats a different thing. but they had literally zero romantic chemistry. all they have in common is that theyre both alt kids. NOT EVEN THE SAME KIND OF ALTERNATIVE! just alt. ugh. and then courtney gets sent into a spiral which, is a valid reaction to getting cheated on i do not blame her. and w/ someone you thought was ur friend like i GET IT. and i am on her side. but then her character goes back to ONLY EVER BEING ABOUT DUNCAN except this time its how much she hates him and her character just. pauses! she doesnt go anywhere else from i see london until shes eliminated inn… what was it. chinese fakeout? like shes just a hater who makes zero meaningful relationships aside from getting played by alejandro and shes just. like its just. its not good. and to know that any of this only happened bc the producers forced a duncney break up. girl sit DOWNNN

and then all stars just tramples them even more. since when has duncan ever gave a shit what people think of him? jojo siwa acting ass with this “im a bad boy!1!!!!” act island duncan would never. and then courtney. ohh courtney. she got flushed down a toilet force feeding herself ice cream with bird shit on it. all i gotta say (but also. nerfed bc she literally has an iron stomach in chinese fake out. whatever)

i still love them though. well, i love courtney. duncans alright but still neither of them deserved any of that

[lnkedmyheart]

Am I the only one who sees any fic where Chuuya goes after Dazai when he leaves the Mafia to leave too and goes “huh?” I’m not talking about fics where Chuuya leaves with Dazai, I mean fics where he tracks him down and is like, “I’m leaving too, I’m coming with you.” I just think if there was anything that caused Chuuya to leave the Mafia, I can not see him going after Dazai. I feel like he would just be like, “I am not chasing after that asshole.” Like I know some people are very into the whole ‘loyal dog who follows Dazai’ imagery or dynamic or whatever but I do not vibe with it

Personally I dont care for that trope. But I can see why people like it. Fanfics are for exploring things you would like to see but not as a canon event. Like I wanna see Chuuya snap and go full time villain that the Agency needs to take down in a fic but I dont wanna see it happen in canon cause it would be out of character unless something actually happens to justify it. However, i feel like the fandom tends to treat fanon as gospel, like no, Chuuya would not follow Dazai. His whole thing is that he refuses to be anything but an equal participant when it comes to Dazai. If Dazai had asked him to come along? Sure he might have considered it to some extent cause uts his loyalty to his partner vs his loyalty to the mafia people. But to actually leave he'd need some really substantial motivation. Its like with beast, what all would have had to happen to get Chuuya to despise Dazai so much and still snap when he dies, what needed to happen to get Oda to hate Dazai, what needed to happen to get sskk to swap places? In the world Asagiri mentioned where Dazai and Chuuya left together, something major would need to change.

I also stopped reading fanfics a while ago now so idk if there has been an influx of this trope. Generally speaking the quality of fanfics has been declining what with wattpad users moving their works to ao3 and in general the fandom growing larger. Ofcourse there are some great fics that come up once in a while but most of them are just a rinse and repeat of the same trope because news fans have not read half the content in the ln's. Can you really blame them for mischaracterizing when they only know what the loud side of the skk fandom insists is canon and not having read any of their actual dynamic?

[83tu]

get to know mitsu pt. 1

i hit 20 answers on bsky so

1. fave beverage? non alc is full sugar strawberry / lychee milk or tiger milk tea boba, extra caffeine if she can get it alc is peach sake jelly shots

2. fave flavor? sweet sweet SWEET, she despises sour and bitter and can eat spicy but claims it hurts her mouth

3. fave food? green onion potato chips, oyakodon, shishamo, cherry garcia ice cream. frankly she eats almost everything and has a very strong stomach and can be paid to eat weird things

4. dessert (parfaits) > snacks > breakfast (pastries) > dinner > lunch every meal must also have a corresponding dessert if she can manage it

5. hated flavor / food? bitter and sour are on mitsus no go list, she can't stand it (umeboshi is a rare exception, as are limes) she also won't touch most raw vegetables. she'll throw the plate if her meal has green pepper in it

6. tolerate spicy food? to an extent. probably better than shy, but compared to a lot of others she knows, she comes across as a massive baby about it. it also depends on the spice, like wasabi and ginger dont bother her but chili peppers do

7. fave animal? small, purse sized, conventionally cute ones. rabbits, lap dogs, hamsters and etc? but shes actually Not into cats like at all, they piss her off when she can't get their attention. she'd have a pomeranian and name it 'gucci' or 'princess' 100%

8. what do they wear to bed? teeny ass pjs (always a cropped top and shorts), lingerie or absolutely nothing she varies from this mostly only if she's sick and then she steals shy or wrens clothes

9. what position do they sleep in? on her stomach typically, and her 4'9" ass can 100% manage to take up the majority of a california king despite being teeny tiny because she surrounds herself in every pillow and then kicks them away through the course of the night

10. morning person or night owl? honestly neither? she'll wake up midday and then still conk out at like 2 AM max while shy is still full steam going and then repeat the process again (she's only seen shy sleeping a handful of times which is more than 100% of other people whove never seen it)

12. its a rainy day, what do they do inside? if shys there? bang no shy? online shopping, reality tv and ordering so much doordash because she can't cook a single thing and also she thinks it's funny people would have bring her things in the rain (she tips like $1, idk how shes not blacklisted)

13. fave scent or smell? ooo, this is a good question... probably something sugary, like a fresh baked donut or cookies? also shys cologne which is something very high priced and mellow. also strawberry shampoo.

14. what do they smell like? hmm... this a tough one. something soft and sweet, her fave scents are the same sorts of things she likes to wear (for herself or when she goes out, she won't at home because shys not a fan) she REALLY avoids floral though

15. baths or showers? baths! *slaps the vanity mirror* this bad boy can hold so many bath bombs and fizzers

16. how good are they at cooking? nightmare levels bad despite the desire to also be the picturesque tiktok trophy wife aesthetic online. burns water levels of bad. if u watch a clip of her cooking a beautiful meal on insta just know it was majorly faked and edited and NOT cooked by her

17. fave time of year? why? mitsu loves summer actually because shes a huge fan of shorts and swimming / "sunbathing"* / just laying around in her bikini by the side of the pool (not the beach, beach has too much sand) * she doesnt actually lay in the sun and she wears a fuckton of sunscreen

18. fave holiday? valentines!!! not ONLY is it her birthday but it's also just soooo romantic and one of the holidays shy is willing to go all out on (lowkey cause it's a 2 in 1)

19. prefer to buy or recieve gifts? recieve, I dont think she's bought a single person a gift in years without prompting. she had to be reminded that yes you /should/ bring a gift to your bffs wedding because that is your FRIEND admittedly tho she does "treat" people a lot cause she loves going out

20. how tall are they? how do they feel about it? ~ 4'9" mitsu loves being this short, it makes everyone underestimate her and treat her like shes feeble or weak. she uses that to her advantage constantly. this height also makes her and shys height gap SO tall and thats her kink

[probablynotnothing]

This picture is from a book called "all along you were blooming" by morgan harper nichols.

its almost unbearably hard trying to be a human who is good, careful, smart, forward thinking, and doesnt harm others. i didnt experience pain like this when i was younger. i know now i dont use any substances at all it is also terrifying and frightening to experience emotions i prevented ever experiencing when i was younger. through numbing in many various ways. some of these emotions its not necessary for me to experience but i dont know yet which these are. so coming off the tail end of the season of pointing my anger against myself, i will use the last remains of this guilty desire to harm myself by experimenting with what does and doesnt help me in certain contexts.

It's so difficult to know myself and what works for me to do to feel better in different circumstances, since i relied on drugs, sex and food when younger in a way that I now associate with my downfalls and shame. Yes many things i did to cope and make myself feel better when younger had outcomes not in my best interest, but there was really magic in doing things by consulting my inner desire and enjoyment. i want to do that now and minimize harm (financial, health, relational) while also being compassionate to myself that my brain doesn't experience joy and rewards with the things that "it should" experience rewards with. I dont have patience, i dont like arts and crafts, I like hands on activities and exploring and learning, and thats ok.

I cant problem solve it and know all the answers right now regarding how to think about myself and life. i'm frustrated so many people know who they are and what theyre doing, and that they feel inherently rewarded doing the things that take me massive willpower to force myself to do. i feel betrayed that i don't enjoy doing much and certainly don't seem to enjoy anything "upright" and "productive".

i have so much debt and dont have any financial plans in place. i keep eating out because its the only way i can feel comfort and pleasure lately and i don't have the energy and patience to cook like i used to. i know my unhappiness directly relates to my job, and my job directly relates to my financial constraints. it seems like a self perpetuating cycle. Don't know the way out but im grateful to remember this is a major aspect of my unhappiness and anger, and I'm not just "broken". I'm experiencing appropriate human emotions for a human in my circumstances and history.

I force myself to go to these classes I dread each week because i tell myself if I don't I may be stuck in my exhausting dead end job forever and never get closer to my goals and just keep breaking down my body more with overworking myself in fast paced physical labor jobs. I'm experiencing the discomfort of something new yes- but I am also experiencing the discomfort of incompatibility and disagreement in philosophy (dog training), and a lack of inherent rewards. I'm trying to force myself to behave in a way I think I should to accomplish my goals, but doesnt the path my end goal need to be filled with things i find bearable and rewarding in order to confirm i'm on the path?

I keep on feeling like a ghost. winding up in situations where i dont want to be rude and infringe ("who am i to sidetrack this person's path"). while its important to be able to quietly peacefully depart paths and leave into the night, at some point i do need to also learn how to be honest about confusion, disagreements, etc. because i need compassion for myself, to be willing to take up room and help those who may not want to ask for help or admit they need help, and i need others to help me by giving me opportunities so i can selfishly have a job that is actually compatible with me and my inherent advantages/ strengths and disadvantages/weaknesses.

I need to recognize for myself the difference between sincerely liking someone and being compatible, and the difference of living in "customer service mode" and trying to be likable and peaceable with everyone.

When i survived when i was younger, and got out of homelessness, could i have accomplished it in ways that didnt involve gritting my teeth and forcing myself to "stick with the program"?

it feel like an overwhelming disaster to examine and sort through how my unhappiness relates to practical matters of the present or past memories, but its worth it for me to try to find my peace adn happiness, and try to get to the life i want to live, even when it feels impossible.

[jenoutof10]

Thanks for answering my ask before. If you don't mind me asking (again), can I ask, who are your top 10 favorite characters (can be from books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......

HAHHA don't worry these asks are fun and i enjoy them so don't apologize for giving me a good time. i do apologise for taking such a long time w these asks, im actually horrible at articulating my thoughts (which is why i am not a writer HA) i think i might be forgetting some characters, or maybe i just dont have alot of faves

1. itoshi rin (blue lock)

i feel like he sticks out like a sore thumb here but he's very much no. 1... something about him being an antisocial introverted hater with abandonment issues, but also has skills to back up his arrogance and (besides all the hate he lets fester within him) actually has a pretty healthy lifestyle.

2. itadori yuuji (jujutsu kaisen)

everything about yuuji is so inherently GOOD and it both interests + pains me to see him being put through all these trials and tribulations of a dark shonen mc 😭

3. gojo satoru (jujutsu kaisen)

i think, like rin, what makes him so interesting is that he has this arrogant and disrespectful personality but then again he's literally the strongest so you cant do jack shit about it. but on the other hand he's this playful goofy (incapable) teacher who spoils his students. i also love OP (to the point it dont make sense) characters.

4. dazai osamu (bungo stray dogs)

i find his inability to be truly happy in any universe fascinating.

5. tachihara michizo (bungo stray dogs)

if i explained it would be major spoilers for s4 and s5 of bsd so i'll just say that his contribution to the plot in the recent seasons really did it for me. the jump from s1 to s4 was a KICK.

6. mikage reo (blue lock)

he's a sopping wet sock. i think this is what people call a gap moe... this perfect, highly capable and charming individual turns into the most pathetic instance of man when his best friend leaves him.

7. giorno giovanna (jojo's bizarre adventure: golden wind)

his birth origins are alr wild. his stand is wild. his battle strategies are wild. his ending is wild. he (alongside jotaro) is probably the least expressive but his personality is so unique lol. a lil rascal.

8. kita shinsuke (haikyuu!!)

its been a while since anyone has mentioned haikyuu for me but kita remains as one of my fav characters LOL i think he's just very refreshing since the cast is full of hungry teenage monsters eager to win and he's almost like a breeze of calm HAHA. the inarizaki team is also very dear to me bcs theyre packed w such cool and strong characters that interact dynamically lol

9. tsukumo yuki (jujutsu kaisen)

honestly, she was the most interesting female character in jujutsu kaisen (for me) until gege decided to trash her. her appearances from todo's flashbacks to her in shibuya were all so badass, plus shes a good example of a character type i really like that radiates strong-confident-fighter aura but isnt really the brooding/dark type... but fun! ykyk. (oot but i REALLY wanted yuki at #9 bcs of her name LOL, realistically she wouldve been at #7)

10. raiden ei (genshin impact) + raiden shogun

again, another insanely OP character that it doesn't even make sense. her lore is crazy. the second raiden quest was what got me hooked (best story quest ever lol), i honestly can't pinpoint what it is from that quest since its been a while but it changed my whole perspective on her and i've been a raiden fan since. a combination of design, personality, lore, and strength (and additionally the raiden ensemble)

honorable mentions:

kaedehara kazuha, zhongli (genshin)

higashikata josuke (jojo's bizarre adventure: diamond is unbreakable)

lelouch lamperouge (code geass)

oda sakunosuke (bungou stray dogs)

[malevolententity]

PROJECT 15<3

i came late to quarentena :(, i think this took about 2ish hours? i started it a few minutes before lucie died and finished it some time before the gang called the helicopter. so idk about 2 hours! this was fun! i dont think ill ever wear it maybe ill give it to someone i know with a dog, maybe someone wants a bandana for their doggy.

i really wanted to pick a 6 hour project for this session but oh well! having to come in late makes you pick a shorter project!

i think if i crochet anything while watching the first half of the episode that i missed. i might work more on richas patterning (which u can see in the top right corner!) or maybe ill just Enjoy watching without crafting, we'll see if i get hit with inspiration. because my other project m actively working on is saved for season 2 watching and m at the start of episode 13<3

SEASON THOUGHTS

dude yuri looses all the girls are dead. HOW DID THE KID LIVE????? THE HIMBOS LIVED????? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED AT THE START OF THE SESSION I NEED TO WATCH THE LIKE 3 HOURS I MISSED AT THE START</3 i cant believe we didnt get a tpk i am so fucking surprised. HOW DID MAJORITY OF THE PARTY LIVE??????? I THOUGHT FOR SURE LUIS WOULD BE THE PERSON TO KILL HIMSELF TO SAVE SOMEONE ELSE NOT LUCIE??? DID THE CANNIBALISM QUESTION FROM THE START OF SESSION 1 COME INTO PLAY??? god i love this show and i love all these people, i can not wait for this soundtrack to be released so i can steal it for my games AND for next week!!! if we actually get a fireside chat about what all was happening behind the scenes with character motivations!!!

[selfundiagnosed]

I hate having ocd so much why do i have be this way about stupid shit other people with ocd csnt relate to like my fixations on my clothing being certain colors textures shapes and cuts and i feel like nothing makes me feel as exhilarated and as sick knowing clothing out there is perfect and i dont have it like kg makes me want to cry and i own a llt of clothing that is perfect but when they like shrink in the wash or get stains i get so viscerally upset i meltdown for like hours lol its so pathetic and ridiculous i hate that its such superficial shit that makes me feel in control of my environment and what happens to me that other people with ocd do not experience or at least i cant talk about it with just anyone because the people with ocd who arent as immersed in the mental rituals more than the physical ones HATE seeing superficial ocd shit that doesnt resonate with them and i personally suspect its bc everyone with ocd doesnt actually rlly think they have it or like doesnt think they fit the criteria enough so when someone with ocd has the more idk how to put it like easier to romanticize i guess ocd (im verh color ritualistic and people see me as an “”aesthetic“” person which is obviously not something i am so dedicated to that it permeates my every being thats not normal but yes call it a dedicated aesthetic that doesnt have a name yet or some shit ) they get verh angry and defensive and think “i have more debilitating symptoms than you because your ocd is digestible” and i really relate and empathize even though im the person theyd think that about likely if i talked more about how my ocd effects me. I see people dog on these types of people with ocd all the time when i go to online forums and it just makes me feel like i dont have something i already didnt feel like it was a misdiagnosis for YEARS to the point where i ignored it and now im dealing with OCD PSYCHOSIS SUPPOSEDLY!!!!! anyway it just feels already a.) childish bc i have meltdowns BIG Time over b.) something stupid & superficial that realistically means NOTHING but i cant say that with my full chest! c.) a manic pixie manifestation of ocd that a majority of people with ocd do not deem authentic ocd havers and just attention seekers. Anyways i redyed my hair olive green again and added color sealant this time bc i dont bleach :3

[mercy--killing]

how're you doing? You've been quiet on here for a while now. Sending good vibes y'all's way, hope you're doing as well as you can

hey i randomly logged into this account today and saw this and sort of wanted to give an update :)

the last year and a half ish i think has been good and bad. i started college, i got my first real job, i got my drivers license, and i got my first semester with straight a's since like middle school! but also ive had a couple more major traumas, had a major loss, had issues with hoarding, had an alcohol problem for a while (pretty much okay with it now though), where i live is getting very dangerous for trans people, and my physical health has kind of tanked. also i realized i was a lesbian! i almost forgot that one lol

one of those major traumas (losing someone i was very close to in front of me) just kind of changed me. it was like how the psych ward i was in killed a part of me. i just dont feel like that same person anymore because she was in my life since i was a baby and i dont think that same me can exist in a world without her. that was about a year ago and im okay but its still really hard.

im in a lot better of a place now though. im actually still living with abusive family that im totally financially dependent on, but tomorrow im getting my car put in my name and this weekend im doing a doggy date for a dog shelter with a very old pitbull and i have friends and im learning to work on cars. i still very much am a lot better off than i was the last time i posted here.

also i sort of found religion? its weird but thats been a really major part of my life lately. i call myself christian adjacent because i believe in jesus and everything but i dont agree with literally any conservative christian belief. God loves queer people, abortion is a right, other religions should be respected and christians are privileged in the west (myself included), hell doesnt exist, refugees and immigrants should be welcomed with open arms, etc. i mostly align myself with quakers. thats been a really big thing with trauma and im so much better at coping and having healthy behaviors now because of it.

i did quit therapy and im pretty strongly anti the institution of psychiatry. @/trans-axolotl has a lot of posts on it and i dont want to get too into it here. basically therapy and meds arent inherently bad and should be much more accessible and many people benefit from and need them, but not everyone does and stripping autonomy away from mentally ill people is bad.

so yeah. im sort of okay. some things are worse and some things are better. and if anyone is still following this blog i hope yall are doing well. i probably wont ever come back, i dont really find this blog helpful anymore, but ill keep it up for now just in case.

[cursezone]

1, 8, 12, 22 for CV?

the character everyone gets wrong

easy one would be alucard due to the popularization of the netflix character, lol

but with the cv games its harder to say ppl are getting it "wrong", though i still think people misinterpret richter a lot but thats also because of smash, i hate himbo richter and also helpless puppy dog richter. i feel like not many people acknowledge the dialogue of the original rondo of blood in that regard

maria is also pretty skewed because shes a girl and so people use her as a prop for alucard and richter's characterization, i do think she is the most rational of the three but she wouldnt let them walk all over her with their angst like in some old fanworks and the radio drama

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

ANNETTE HAS CHARACTER I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL i get that most folk are DraculaXChronicles-pilled but i beg them to care about the original rondo of blood. i get why people who prefer dxc would not understand why annette is good or why she makes sense because in the end she was just kinda horny fodder with that bad ending.

i think a lot of her best features come from the fact that she was able to resist dracula's influence perhaps because shes an outsider in the matter, whereas richter was not able to resist because he is so intertwined in this conflict that it became inescapable. having annette go evil (and naked) is kinda just fan service not to mention they took out the scene where she threatens dracula with a knife. SHES FUCKING COOL if you pay attention

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

ANNETTE AGAIN 😭 the maidens too though i think theyre neat and just because they arent the most narratively significant on the surface doesnt mean theyre meaningless, and well I THINK THEY ARE and i would like to see more people talk about the village community that richter seems to have compassion for and that he wants to help people!!! richter has faith in and compassion for humanity (and their ability to build communities and stay safe together) on a personal level, where religion has failed him. stop me before i rant about the dracula cutscene dialogue

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

RONDO OF BLOOD? and i am not talking dxc.. i also almost want to say sotn because even though its heavily praised for its gameplay, i think the majority of the narrative from that era is kinda slept on especially in regards to how it connects to rondo of blood and harmony of dissonance too (which seems to have quite a lot of fans- rightfully so!)

DISCLAIMER i dont really interact with "fandom" i just have a circle of mutuals so my view of peoples opinion on these things is pretty limited. most of my experience with fan works is also like, stuff like the 2000s. these opinions were formed underneath the rock i hide in

[postmail]

hruugghh complaining inbound. im on my bus trip right now and. my god. i wasnt looking forward to this very much in the first place and yet i somehow still manage to be disappointed. heres my complaints in arranged into a list. apologies if this is repetitive, im not proofreading it. and sorry if its whiny. i am making this post specifically to whine

im rooming with three other people. two of them are cool. one of them is an underclassmen and. by god. this girl is annoying. shes always complaining about something, and majority of the time it doesnt even like. make sense? like one time she complaining that she felt like she was required to go to the pool, just in general, not with anyone or anything. why would we make you go to the pool? why?? i dont know. her logic is an enigma. i think if she stops having stuff to complain about she dies. also, she keeps following us around. this one is kind of petty but for some reason being followed has always made me irrationally nervous or irritated, even if its like. having a minecraft dog follow me. idk its just something that really bothers me for some innate reason. this chick just presses my buttons. not her fault, but still. ugh

i have virtually no privacy, no real alone time. i share a room, i share a bus, we all share everything at every waking moment. i am never not in the presence of at least one other person. and by god does it suck. and plus, being a part of such a huge crowd at almost all times makes me nervous. im at the whims of all these other people, i can only do what the majority wants to do. and i am historically bad at wanting what everyone else wants

most of these people are people i dont know very well. theyve spilt the rooms based on gender, which is to be expected, but still sucks ass because i get along better with most of my male peers than my female ones. most of the people that are on this trip are in the grade below me (its the juniors and the sophomores, im a junior) and i dont know or like them very much. i find myself wishing it was just my grade, or that i skipped this trip altogether

i came here entirely to learn about history. this trip IS a good portion history, but its also dumb touristy stuff idgaf about. the one museum weve went to already was out of my mind boring, it was a jfk museum, and i didnt think i knew very much about jfk going in, but now coming out i feel like i knew more than that entire museum. it felt like i was having all my old, vastly more interesting and fun history lessons be rehashed to me, it a significantly more drab and boring way.

this ones petty and dumb but. we are going to the ocean. i do not like the ocean. i am worried we are going to spend an entire at the ocean. i would rather do literally anything else

i have heard we are going on a dolphin watching cruise. i get seasick when im these kinds of boats. yayyyyyyyyy

the most i have had on this trip is when we are just driving around in the bus. im starting to think it is literally the only thing ive liked so hard. granted im the kind of person that enjoys long car rides (unless its a route a know well, then its just boring), but still

this is all taking place during the majority of my holiday break. i would really rather just be home, actually doing stuff i like and chillaxing. but nooooo i just had to go on this trip, effectively wasting my entire vacation. thinking about this one frankly just makes me feel miserable. i wanna go HOME this is so LAME

after fundraising, my parents spent absurd amounts of money to get me and my sister on this trip. and i just called my mom crying about how miserable i am here

all of my friends, excluding the one that is here, are back at home. i like my classmates, but we aren’t friends. i want to hangout with my friends, not my peers from school and... the younger ones

my book didnt fit in my bag. i really wish i had my book right now

these hotels are capitalist nightmares that wont let me use wifi despite being a paying customer w/o an account, which i am unwilling to make because. well because fuck that. why the fuck should i give you my personal info just for some wifi i should just get, because i am paying to be here. wth

alright thats all i can think of. im sorry if you read this far, all the way through my whining. hopefully ill have a better time soon. we’re going to the alamo soon and thats. cool. i guess. if i dont think about anything else

[half-of-the-story]

hey, I really hope I got the right person and you actually are the one that wrote it... bc I am here to say I spent the weekend reading Pathetic Fallacy and I LOVED IT!!! a friend recommended it to me bc she said you wrote the best human shironeki and WOW. that is the best human shironeki. also the best human au I've ever read for tokyo ghoul. like, the transplant of ghoul wars -> drug wars fit perfectly and made perfect sense, especially when you hit all the major plot points WITH YOUR OWN SPIN ON THEM. the way it starts out with shironeki and we only get his past in flashbacks is really effective in my opinion. it makes him feel more real bc we didn't personally know the kaneki before. I also love your hide. I love how smart he is and how /self aware/. especially the times when he NOTICES and ACKNOWLEDGES that saying whatever he was going to say would be manipulative for kaneki. like, if only everyone had that kinda self awareness. your supporting characters are also great: Akira, juuzou, touka. hell, even Takashi was well written. and I wish I could give you a thousand kudos for the way you wrote amon and kaneki. you did them such justice. now, I've spent a while waxing poetic about your characters, but I gotta spend some time fangirling over your ability to plot. bc the plot of Pathetic Fallacy is TOP TIER. the way it ties together, the way it arcs, the balancing between plot development and character development... I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.

ok, I'm done vomiting words in your inbox. I hope you are doing well and get to pet a cute dog soon <3

oh ;_____; yes u got the right person. thank u so much for reading pathetic fallacy my first child. it means the world that u think that fic is good since it literally rekindled the love of writing fanfic i had abandoned since middle school. looking back i find it really cringey to read im ngl i was a teenager when i was writing it but i am so So glad u enjoyed it its like a time capsule to me and im glad my writing is able to be enjoyed even in that form.

i want to write you more sooooooo bad but i just dont know that ill ever do it. i will find the outline i have on my old laptop and post a summary one day so there is SOME closure i promise. i had it all planned out ; w ;

um... i doubt u will read more of my more recent writing bc its kpop cringe but i was planning on writing a new fic for tkg soon! its an idea i had when i was writing pathetic fallacy but i finally think i have the skills to pull it off now. it will be under a new ao3 acct but um? maybe ill post abt it on here?

anyway thank u so much for the lovely ask seeing the little notification on the inbox icon gives me so much fucking serotonin and you are so lovely, seeing all your comments appear in my email over the last few days has been absolutely wonderful thank you so so much for giving your time to my old fic.

[guavagyu]

rainy day - k.mg

DJHGISUHDOGIYFUGIDOSIFZYGIYIDUHOSFZGIUDIZUHFODODUIFZYITUOSDCDTIUODSFIYGUDSFUOD I HAVE NO WORDS. THIS WAS REQUESTED AS USUAL...GRRRRRRR UR GONNA KILL ME /lh

not the majority of my works rn being abt mingyu 😵‍💫

wc: il y a les mots, plus précisément, 662 (there are words, specifically, 662) UGH THEY KEEP GETTING SHORTER IM SO SORRY

synopsis: on a casual rainy saturday afternoon, what better cure to your boredom than to play a game of whoever-cums-first-loses-whilst-cockwarming-your-boyfriend?

warnings/stuff: cockwarming (duh), smut (mdni! you've been warned!), unprotected sex (no. lets not), fem!reader, tall!reader (cuz someone here really likes it 👀), terms of endearment/nicknames (love, etc.), fluff, established relationship, non-idol!au, domestic shit <3, lemme know if there r any more!

"first one to cum loses, mk?" you said as you slowly sank down on his dick, the rain aggressively colliding with the many windows in your shared bedroom, branches of various plants brushing against them due to the audible wind,

"what happens if you lose?" mingyu softly whispered,

"dunno, nothing i guess," you lightly shrugged as you playfully clenched around him, making gyu whimper lightly as his dick twitched in your warm walls,

"are you sure? we can do something," he looked at you with soft eyes, making your heart flutter, his curly hair and pretty eyes, only making your heart swell even more,

"how about the first person to cum has to do whatever the other person says for the rest of the day?" he suggested,

"a tad unoriginal, but alright," you chuckled, smiling, lightly kissing his heavenly lips, unfortunately being broken a few seconds later when you say, "hmmm..tell me about your week," as thunder was heard in the distance,

"uh, o-ok. where do you want me to start?" he mumbled into your neck as you enveloped him with your arms,

"anywhere you'd like, love," placing affectionate pecks along his forehead and temples,

"um..ok. so basically on monday i was at the coffee shop down the road right? and like so i wanted to get some food cuz i was kinda hungry, and then this person walked up to me out of nowhere and quoted some random lovesong from the 70's and tried to ask me out on a date but then i told them that i had a girlfriend aka you and then so yeah. i showed them a picture of you and me together and they were really surprised that you weren't built like a twig next to me and that you were actually around my height and like then yeah…..and yeah. then on tuesday i was out buying groceries AND THIS CASHIER FLIRTED WITH ME TOO LIKE WHY AM I HOT LIKE?! WHY CANT PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE IM LITERALLY GONNA START WALKING AROUND WITH GIANT SIGN TAPED TO MY FOREHEAD SAYING I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I SWEAR. LIKE OH MY GOD IM LEGIT GONNA CRY ALL I WANTED WAS TO BUY SOME RAMEN AND SOME ASPARAGUS OR WHATEVER IN PEACE AND NOT BE BOMBARDED WITH AN ENDLESS TRAIL OF ADMIRERS LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE AND BE ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT BEING DISTURBED AND TO JUST BE WITH YOU. AND THEN ON WEDNESDAY I SPILLED THE TTEOKBOKKI AND COOKIES THAT I MADE FOR YOU ALL OVER THE FLOOR SO I COULDNT ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING FOR YOU AND I WANTED TO JUST DO SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU. IM ACTUALLY ABOUT TO GO FERAL AT ANY MOMENT AND JUST LIKE START SCREAMING AND RUNNING AROUND LIKE A RABID DOG-"

"HOOOOOOOOOLD ON, IF YOU GO FERAL IM GONNA HAVE TO CALL PETA MINGYU, SO PLEASE DONT GO FERAL I LOVE YOU OK?" you quickly interrupted gyu with a non-grammatically correct but functional sentence nonetheless,

"fine," he pouted,

"alright continue," and as mingyu continued to ramble on about his horrible week, although you felt terrible for this sad puppy you were also extremely confused on how all of a sudden you felt his dick soften and his cum just sit there in your pussy,

"um, gyu?"

"HUH?? WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"how the fuck did you cum from talking about bad stuff that happened to you? is this some kink of yours that we haven't discussed yet?"

"how the f- oh.." mr kim of mingyu realized, "so..i lost.."

"yup,"

"so…what do you want me to do first?" gyu blushed,

"well, how about you eat me out and then we cuddle for the rest of the day?"

"hmm..ok!" mingyu smiled with his pretty canines and dived down in between your legs as the rain continued to fall against your windows, the wind and trees making the setting even more relaxing for your saturday chill.

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