#i am like half oldest half middle i have an older half brother and he was never super involved at home cause he lives out of state

[slavonicrhapsody]

sorry if this was asked before/you already discussed it, but I am curious how do you headcanon birth order of Carian siblings (i.e. who is the youngest/oldest/middle child)

Ranni is actually directly stated in the game to be the youngest of the three! In Rogier’s original Japanese dialogue, the word he uses for “sister” in the phrase “sister to General Radahn and Praetor Rykard” is specifically the word for “younger sister,” and unfortunately this nuance is lost in the English translation.

As for Radahn and Rykard, it’s never directly stated who is older, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s possible for either of them to be the oldest. However, after playing the DLC, I really got the impression that Radahn was the oldest of the three from all the new pieces of information about him?

First of all, we know that Messmer was an elder brother figure to him. From Commander Gaius’s remembrance, “Both were as elder brothers to the lion.”

and we also know that Miquella and Malenia looked up to him:

“In their childhood, Miquella saw in Radahn a lord. His strength, and his kindness, that stood in stark contrast with their afflicted selves.”

The DLC is littered with mentions of Radahn in relation to his half-siblings, but Rykard and Ranni (who we know is the youngest) never get a mention (unless Radahn was only singled out to preview his appearance at the end of the DLC. lol. honestly likely). This gives the impression that Rykard was less relevant to the goings on of the wider family… if that’s true, then Rykard is either antisocial, avoiding his half-siblings and only liking his full siblings (which I kind of doubt, because his similarities to Messmer seem pretty intentional and I’d be shocked if he never interacted with him), or Rykard and Ranni were like, too young to hang out with the cool older kids and also not old enough that their younger half-siblings would look up to them as much (not that Rykard was probably ever a good role model… lmao).

I also feel like Rykard seemingly not having been close to Messmer, and yet having basically copied his entire aesthetic, might point to the one-sided admiration of a stepbrother too young to really have bonded with him? and also, knowing Miquella and Malenia looked up to Radahn as a strong older brother, this might contextualize Rykard’s painting of Radahn above his fireplace in the same sense?

In general, all the references seem to give an impression of Radahn being like, the premiere son of Radagon. I think it’s also worth mentioning that every time the three siblings are mentioned together (by Morgott, or by Rogier for example), Radahn is always mentioned first.

Nothing I’ve said here actually definitively proves anything! Radahn could definitely still be younger than Rykard. I just came out of the DLC with a huge vibe that he was the oldest of the three! and I’ve always thought middle child Rykard was fitting for him lol.

I also asked my younger sister her opinion, and she said, “younger siblings have a penchant for torture.” so there you have it

[gavisfanta]

CHERISHED KISSES - PEDRI

Part l

summary: When you traveled to Qatar with your dad, you meet someone unexpected. However it isn't easy to keep in touch with that person, as many struggles occur.

warnings: smoking

"Ladies and Gentlesmen this is your captain speaking, we have officially and successfully landed in Qatar, it's 11:15 pm and the weather is good with about 24 Celsius right now. Thank you for flying with us and enjoy the rest of your journey." The loud buzzing sound in the airplane finally stopped as the speakers went silent, there was rustling heard from the back of the plane.

"Thiago, can you get your backpack?" Antonella asked as she pointed at her son sitting next to you.

"Ciro has to get his own though, I'm not getting his." Your oldest brother stood up, his nike backpack in his hand as he was ready to leave the plane. Anto nodded her head and gave you Ciro's backpack so she wouldn't have to carry it. As you grabbed your own and stood up, you made your way out of the plane. As you walked past the captain and the stewardess, you gave them a faint smile.

Normally you would've gone with the private jet your dad owned, but your mother decided to be eco-friendly all of the sudden.

So as soon as you stepped out of the plane, you were immediately met with very fresh and cold air. It was warm but it definitely wasn't as warm and cozy as under the covers you received in first class.

As you, your brothers and your mom entered the ground after walking down the metal stairs, a bald man aproached you with a huge smile on his face. He looked a bit older but was built very muscular. "Welcome in Qatar Miss Roccuzzo, Miss Messi and the small ones. I am Alfro and it's an honor to be your driver tonight." He shook everyone's hands and then stepped aside so you would be able to see the black van.

"The honor is mine," Anto smiled at him and he immediately nodded his head while he inhaled sharply. He then suggested to load all the backpacks all of you had into the truck of the car. The other luggage will be brought to your hotel in a few hours by someone your dad hired, so you wouldn't have to wait.

While Alfro grabbed all of your backpacks and Anto, Ciro, Mateo and Thiago already made their way over to the car, you stood in one spot, admiring the night sky. Many stars were visible since there wasn't as many lights surrounding you. Your gaze however moved from the sky to the van, only to see your mom looking at you.

"Do you want to sleep outside hija?" Your mom asked, she was tired, that's why she was in such a bad mood. It was kind of her fault because she chose to be eco-friendly. In the private jet she would've gotten some sleep.

Yet you only shrugged your shoulders and also walked over to the van, the only empty seat was next to Thiago so you had no other choice but to sit next to him, he of course was also tired. Mateo and Ciro however were the complete opposite, they were full of energy, that's why they were talking to eachother while you and Thiago just fought to keep your eyes open.

Anto was sitting in the front, next to Alfro. he was talking to her as he drove through Doha. But something caught your attention.

"This hotel you see on the right is closed as of now, because the Spanish national team is staying there. They arrived yesterday, I heard that Luis Enrique wanted to make sure that nobody was jet lagged when they start training." Alfro pointed to the gigantic building on the right, a huge fountain decorating the drive way to the hotel. In the middle of the fountain was an angel carved out of stone. The light from the street lamp perfectly hit the statue so perfectly that every single detail was visible. It looked like a woman, however you weren't able to see her face but her head was slightly tilted downwards. Hands covered her face and her legs were also hidden by the dress she had, as she was standing on the two and a half meter tall pole. Gigantic wings came out of her back, they however weren't spread, instead they kind of hung down.

The whole hotel gave off a pretty rich vibe, however you didn't have long to look at it because Alfro kept driving. You looked at Thiago whose gaze was still looking outside the window, until eventually he turned his head to look at you.

"Do you think Pedri is here too?" He whispered, afraid that Anto might hear him. He didn't mind his brothers hearing him, they were too busy with talking about some kid series they watched on the plane.

"I'm sure he is, why do you ask?" You asked him. It was a bit weird that he asked this, he knew who was in the Spanish national team, and he damn well knew that Pedri was a part of that team. From time to time he showed you a picture of Pedri, sometimes when you watched the Barca games, he even specifically told you to look at the screen whenever he saw that the camera zoomed in on the midfielder.

You had a suspicion that Thiago missed Pedri a bit, even tho they didn't talk much while Messi was still at Barcelona, the few times they talked you always saw Thiago giggling and looking very happy. Each time Pedri brought him to you and reassured that he was fine, he'd look at you with those eyes. Yet no words were exchanged, only looks but nothing more.

You kinda found it weird how much Pedri had changed in a year. You hadn't seen him in person ever since the farewell speech of your father, but he looked very different in tv. However Thiago then snapped you out of your thoughts again.

"I just forgot, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders for the second time and then looked out the window again. While shaking your head you looked out your window, the stars still slightly visible but not as much as they were at the airport.

Faint music was playing the background, you heard that it was Sin Señal by Quevedo, it was Thiago's favorite song. Looking from the sky back to your mom in the front of the car, you couldn't help but notice how many people were still outside on the streets.

Maybe it was the crazy nightlife in Doha everyone was talking about or maybe there was just a party the night you arrived, however you made yourself a mental note that you'll check it out while you're staying here.

"Here we are!" Alfro smile as he pulled into the round driveway of the huge two-building hotel. There were two very high buildings and an Argentine flag hung between the two. You faintly smiled as you looked at it, there was a light pointed directly at the flag so that it would be visible at night.

"They're pretty proud to be welcoming your team, as you can see." Alfro laughed as Anto's mouth fell open at the sight.

She laughed and nodded her head. "As they should." It was good to see your mother smiling again, you always hated when she was in a bad mood.

So as the security from the hotel checked all of your passports and granted Alfro access to the parking lots, he parked the car and Anto and you got out immediately.

Alfro went to the truck to give you your backpacks.

"And here you go little guy." Alfro handed Ciro the last backpack and then closed the trunk of the car.

"Hey can I ask you something?" You remained outside while your brothers and mom already started walking to the entrance of the hotel after they said goodbye and thank you.

"Of course, what is it?" He smiled while putting both of his hands on his hips.

"Our hotel is pretty far outside the city, how come the one Spain is staying in, is so close to the city centre?" You asked, he then chuckled a little bit.

"As far as I know, they just like to flex a little bit, they sleep and eat there but they need to be transported out here to train. As you might know this hotel built 5 football fields. Especially for this world cup but in the future a youth team will train here." He explained everything while talking with his hands. You couldn't help but still wonder.

"What do you mean they have to get transported here?" Your eyebrows knitted together.

"If you grab a bike and cycle down this road for about 5 minutes, you'll reach another football training ground where the spanish team is training." He pointed down the street, a few street lamps placed along the road that seemed to be going into a forest.

"Okay, thank you so much. And thanks for the drive too!" You smiled while you began walking away backwards. He waved at you but then you suddenly remembered something.

"Oh wait." You began walking towards him again while you grabbed your wallet from your left pocket. "Here, take this." You smiled as you handed him 79 Riyal (which is about 20 euros).

"Oh thank you so much but it's not necessary." He tried to give you back the money with a faint smile because your dad haid paid everything in advance, however you shrugged your shoulders as you began walking backwards once again.

"Have a good night" You waved quickly before turning around and walking into the hotel. The lobby was almost empty, a few people were talking with eachother. Most of them looked like they worked there.

"Hey, um my mom checked in just a couple of minutes earlier, could you please tell me which room she's staying in?" Walking up to the desk which a blonde woman was sitting at. She looked like she hasn't slept in 2 days, that also exaplained the open red bull can standing at the desk.

"Hey, if Antonella Roccuzzo is your mom, she should be in building B, floor 13, which is the top floor, and... in suite 2. You're allowed to enter building B, but building A is off limits until the Selección arrives. As of now we don't serve breakfast since the Selección will be using our kitchen. The elevator to building B is that way." She told you so many things in such a fast pace. However at the end she pointed to her left, so you gave her a quick nod with a smile and then began to walk towards the navy blue metal elevator.

Messi had told you that only family of the footballers and some other staff from the Selección will be staying in building B. The more important people will be in building A.

Your face crunched up as the elevator doors opened and a horrible odor of vinegar hit you.

Pulling up your shirt to cover your mouth and nose, you entered the elevator and pressed the button to floor 13. The inside of the elevator gave off the same vibe as the lobby did. Very modern and expensive looking, a grey carpet covered the floor while the walls were white.

As the doors slid to the side, you were met with a room, two doors on either side. While stepping out of the elevator you finally dropped the shirt back down and looked at the door to your right.

A black number 2 written on the door, so immediately you rang the doorbell twice. A few seconds passed before you heard some running and the door opened, you came face to face with Mateo.

"Thanks" You flashed him a smile and then went inside, he looked at you while closing the door.

"Where were you?" He asked as you walked through the hallway, entering a bigger and taller room. One of the walls was replaced with a huge glass, giving whoever is inside a beautiful room over the ocean since the hotel was right next to the beach.

There was a huge tv, a couch, a kitchen and three doors, each leading to different rooms. Anto, Thiago and Ciro were sat on the couch, your mom on the phone while Thiago was playing something on his Ipad and Ciro watching him.

"I was- uh talking to Alfro." You hardly managed to look away from the beautiful view outside the window. But as you looked down at Mateo he crossed his arms.

"What were you talking about?" He asked while he looked at you put down your backpack next to the couch.

"Why do you care?" You raised your voice a bit at him, he was being annoying with all the questions and following you around.

"Y/n watch how you talk to your brother." Your mom suddenly raised her head and looked at you for a split second bdfore looking back at her phone.

"What did I do?" you raised your voice a bit as you held up your hands. You were met with Mateo who stuck out his tongue to you. "You're so annoying." While you rolled your eyes, you grabbed your backpack and went into oke of the rooms. There were three beds so you assumed that room wasn't yours. Walking into the next one you immediately put down your backpack on the bed and walked to the door again. "This room is mine, goodnight!" You stuck your head out the door so everyone could hear you, and then you closed the door and locked it too. As you turned around you saw that there was a huge bed, it was facing the glass wall which gave you a beautiful view whenever you sat on the bed. On the left from the bed there was a sliding door which you assumed led to a bathroom. Making your way over there, you found out that you were right, a shower, sink and toilet were in the bathroom. There were also blinds rolled down which you assumed had the same huge window.

However you didn't have the energy to check it out now. So you walked back to your backpack, took out your toothbrush and toothpast and went to brush your teeth after you changed into the oversized shirt you brought to sleep in.

As soon as you were done and walked back into the dark bedroom, you pulled out your phone you saw that your dad had texted you, so without thinking much of it, you pressed the face time button.

"Hola hija." Your phone lit up with his face and you squinted your eyes a bit at the brightness.

"Hey, we arrived at the hotel now, look how cool my room is." You lifted up your phone to show your room and the view. Messi laughed as he looked at the phone.

"I know, I booked it, did you luggage arrive already?" He smiled a bit.

"No, not yet, mom said she'll stay awake until it arrives, but who knows when that dude arrives." You said and went back to the bed to sit down.

"Okay, whatever your mother wants, listen, you go to sleep now or else you'll be extremely jetlagged, tomorrow your mother has planned something. I have no idea what but she told me about something. I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?" Messi explained and you nodded your head as you yawned.

"Bye, goodnight" You waved at the camera and he blew you a kiss. Then as you hung up, you turned off your phone and out it to charge on the bedside table.

Just a few minutes after that you already drifted off to sleep.

The next morning you woke up at 5 am, so you decided to get up and walk to the beach. But first you took a shower and then picked out a simple black shirt with black shorts. By the time you walked down to the lobby ut was already half past 6.

While you made your way outside you walked past an employee of the hotel, he walked closer to you ans opened his mouth.

"Hey do by any chance know Lionel Messi?" He asked as he anxiously fidgeted around with his hands.

"Not that well, but I do know him." You said with a sarcastic smile and then man just nodded, you could tell he was nervous, however you weren't sure if he really did know who you were.

It did happen sometimes that people asked you for a picture but that was rather rare. However people often said hi to you or looked at you.

"Do you know where the next store is?" You asked him, completely ignoring that he maybe wanted to take a picture or anything else.

"Uhm, yeah if you walk down the road, you should find one in about 5 minutes k

of walking." He said and pointed behind himself while looking at you.

"Okay thank you so much." You walked out the door and began walking down the street just as the guy said.

It was awfully quiet, only the sound of the birds singing and the wind blowing lingering around in the air.

Arriving at the small store, you went inside and immediately went up to the cashier. "Hey, could you give me a Marlboro red and a lighter?" You asked the man who was about 40 years old. He looked like he was from Qatar, very Arabic face.

"Can I see your ID please?" He gave you a dirty look and you nodded while grabbing into your phone case and pulling out your ID.

"Here" You gave it to him and he held it between his fingers while looking at it with furrowed brows. Suddenly his gaze softened and the frown on his lips immediately turned into a smile.

"Messi? Is that your real name?" He raised his brows and gave you back your ID while putting the Malboro red and the lighter on the counter between you both.

"Yeah" You said with a smile and he squinted his eyes a bit while looking at you.

"You're lying." He smiled but you shook your head, the store was completely empty that's why he didn't hurry with making you pay.

"I'm not, google me." You told him and he gave you a suspicious look before pulling out his phone from his pocket and looking at you. "Y/n Messi" You said and he nodded his head while shifting his gaze back to his phone.

He chuckled and his face brightened up even more as he looked up from his phone and to you again.

"Can I take a picture with you?" He asked in a heavy accent and you nodded your head. He walked around the counter and stood next to you, he put his hand on your shoulder and you smiled as he took a couple of photos.

"Can I pay with card?" You looked at him while he walked back behind the counter. As you looked at the screen, you saw that he took off 50%. You smiled as you paid and then said goodbye to him.

Walking outside again, you immediately began walking down to the beach. After a while you were already walking on sand and saw the waves. That's when you grabbed into your pocket and pulled out a cigarette and the lighter. Sticking the cigarette into your mouth, you covered the front with your left hand while you lit it with your right.

So while you walked along the beach while smoking, you didn't notice that three other people were watching you.

"Shut up" Ferran stopped walking immediately and so followed Gavi and Pedri who were walking by his side. "Isn't that Y/n?" Ferran asked as he put his hand up to cover his smile.

"I don't know, but it looks like her." Gavi added as he furrowed his eyebrows while staring at you. They were walking along the path that was made out of stone higher up on the beach, and you were turned the other way, facing the ocean.

"Hermano that's her!" Ferran mumbled, Pedri just stared at you without saying anything. He was deep in his thoughts, he hadn't seen you since Messi left Barça which was about three years ago.

"Pedri you knew her." Pedri snapped back as soon as Ferran said that. He turned his head to look at the striker and shook his head.

"I've never liked her, we didn't get along while she was in Barcelona. I loved her brother but her? Nah," Pedri explained and Ferran raised his brows but Gavi reacted faster.

"Why didn't you get along? You and Messi were also fine?" He asked and Pedri exhaled deeply.

"She seemed too arrogant in my opinion, I never really talked to her though, so that's why I may be wrong but some way I heard her talk to others." Pedri shook his head as he looked away from you again. "and she's smoking too."

Ferran furrowed his brows as he looked at the smoke coming from you. "That's her thing. Anyways, let's go" Ferran mumbled and Gavi nodded his head as the two started walking. Pedri caught himself looking at the back of your head a bit too long. But then he snapped out of it and eventually caught up with his teammates.

After you were done with taking the little walk, you went back to the hotel room where you were met with Anto sitting on the couch, a plate of eggs infront of her.

"Where were you?" Anto asked as she turned around while shutting off her phone.

"I was just taking a walk mom." You answered in a bit of annoyed tone. You walked into the kitchen and then also scooped some eggs onto your plate.

"I was worried about you" She stood up and brought her plate over to the sink where she washed it off with water.

"Mom, I'm 19." You gave her an annoyed look but she still put her hands onto her sides as she watched you eat.

"Yeah but what if you get kidnapped by someone? Many people here know you." Her voice wasn't strict but rather worried.

You shook it off and then went into your room. A few hours later after your brothers woke up and got ready for the day, Anto told you to come outside.

"Come on, let's go to the car." Anto commanded and all of you went into the elevator. That same disgusting odor of vinegar was lingering in the elevator. You pulled up your shirt until you arrived in the lobby. Then you all sat into the car and you mom started driving.

"Where are we going now?" Thiago asked, he was sitting in the backseat with the rest of your siblings, while you were in the front next to your mom.

"We're going to visit Elena and Romarey." Anto said while she looked in the review mirror for a second. You however were way too distracted by Doha, it was pretty hot outside, you noticed by the window that was rolled down a few centimeters. The sun was shining and there were a couple of people walking around on the sidewalks. There were also huge buildings, all very clean and with big windows, you assumed they were offices or something else, maybe even very rich apartment buildings.

"Does that mean we are gonna see Jordi and Busi too?" Mateo asked excitedly, while you still lived in Barcelona, Busquets and Jordi Alba were at your house very often, considering that your dad was very close with both of them.

"I'm sure we will." So you all sat in silence, atleast you did, your siblings asked some stupid questions which your mom had to answer. As you pulled into the driveway of the hotel your eyes fixated on the fountain withe the weird statue once again. You were sure that that woman had a story and that's why she looked that way, you however would need to ask someone.

As your mother spoke to the security and they checked if she really was on the list, they let you in. She parked the car on a parking lot and then all of you made your way over to the main entrance.

As you walked into the lobby, you pulled out your phone to check a few messages, that's why you just followed behind your family.

That was until your brothers started running and Thiago just walked really fast. So immediately you put away your phone and saw a few people sitting on a couch.

"Jordi, Busi!" Your brothers said loudly as they went to hug them. They both were sitting next to eachother. However, Balde, Ferran and Pedri were also there. You at first avoided eye contact with Pedri, but eventually everyone stood up to say hello to your mom and to you in the traditional way by kissing your cheeks.

First Jordi who you also hugged right after, "You grew so much." He smiled and you just smiled at him while you furrowed your brows. Then Busi. "He's right, the last time I saw you, you were little, about here." Busquets pointed to the middle of his stomach.

"Well that's how biology works," You joked and then shrugged your shoulders. Them Ferran came over to you.

"Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Ferran." He said after he took a step back from you.

"I'm Y/n the pleasure is mine." You gave him the same smile.

"I'm Balde, also very nice to meet you." He also said as he again took a step back.

"Y/n, nice to meet you too." You also gave him a faint smile. That's until Pedri stood infront of you, your smile immediately faded and the same went for Pedri.

It was awkward to watch you two stand infront of eachother. Pedri had his lips in a thine line while he bit the insides of his cheek.

Meanwhile you just looked at him, waiting for him to say something. That however passed as soon as he gave you a small nod and then turned around to sit down again. Atleast that's what you thought, because he turned around, went over to Balde and the two of them then went to the elevator.

You scoffed as you saw them walk away, Ferran noticed that and came over to you. "Hey, we haven't talked yet, haven't we?" He asked with a bit of a forced smile. The rest of your family was distracted speaking to Jordi and Busquets.

"No, we literally just met." You joked and he nodded his head while he ran his fingers along his forehead and broke the eye contact for a second.

"Yeah, so um, you're Messi's daughter?" Ferran mentally hit himself as why he was asking these stupid questions. You looked at him for a second with a confused look.

"Yeah." You parted your lips into a thin line and nodded your head. However while you and Ferran shared an awkward moment together, Pedri and Balde were just walking to the community room.

"What's up with you now?" Balde asked as he tried to keep up with Pedri's fast pace, he was almost running down the hallway.

Pedri shook his head, "See that's why I hate her, she's so arrogant. I cant stand it, just cause Leo had money while she grew up." He said in an annoyed tone and then both of them arrived in the room. They saw Gavi and Laporte sitting at a table, chatting to eachother.

Pedri stormed over to a couch and sat down while taking out his phone, that's why he earned two weird stares from Gavi and Laporte.

"What's wrong with him?" Laporte asked Balde who went and sat down on a chair next to Gavi.

"He saw Messi's daughter and then he got all mad and-" Balde looked at Pedri for a second. "i dont even know, she looks nice to me."

"Yeah that's until you hear how she talks to other people!" Pedri said loudly to which Balde just shook his head.

"It's been three years kid, get over it and try to be nice to her. I've talked to her and her mother before, nothing wrong with her, maybe you just want to believe that she's mean and cruel." Laporte turned around in his seat and looked at Pedri who didn't lift his gaze from the phone.

"Mhm" Pedri hummed and completely ignored the strikers opinion.

"Come on Pedri you're being stupid right now. You're acting like a kid." Gavi stood up and walked over to his teammate.

"Oh so now I'm being stupid for having an opinion? Yeah you all bestfriends with her now?" Pedri looked up at Gavi and said aggressively.

"No but you don't even have a reason to hate her, just get yourself under control and talk to her like a proper human being goddammit. Do you even hear the stuff you're saying right now? I thought you were mature enough to play in the world cup but it seems like I gotta talk with Lucho about you. You're 19 and acting like a 5 year old." Gavi raised his voice aswell as he told that to his friend who was still sitting infront of him. Pedri was now looking at him with big eyes and he was deep in his thoughts.

Meanwhile Balde and Laporte were shocked, they've never heard Gavi talk like that before and they didn't expect it to be Pedri he talks to like this.

"Now good job ruining everyone's mood because of your childish attention needs." Gavi told him and then walked out the door. Pedri looked after him and then looked down on the floor.

"He was right." Laporte added and Pedri nodded his head while he stood up and also went over to the door. Without saying a word he left and returned back to his small room.

While all that happened, you and Ferran weren't as awkward around eachother anymore. After Ferran found out that you used to play with Sira when she was about 12 years old and you 11, you immediately had something to talk about.

"So is she also coming here to watch the games?" You asked as he was now sitting next to you outside on the stairs, you were facing the giant gates that didn't allow anyone to acces the hotel without being checked.

"She's coming here for Spains first game, she just has to finish her riding competition and then yeah." He clapped his hands together and smiled a bit while looking at his shoes.

"Oh right, I forgot that she's an equestrian." You mumbled while grabbing into your pocket and pulling out your phone to look at the time.

"Yeah, you should see her sometime, she's amazing."

"I will one day, but I should also probably look for my mom, I've been here for half an hour. Do you know where they could be?" You asked and turned around to look inside the hotel through the glass doors which are the main entrance.

"I have no idea, sorry. I don't know where those older people hang out." He chuckled as he looked at you call your mothers number. However she didn't pick up so you sighed and stuffed the phone into your pocket once again.

"She never picks up the phone, it's so annoying." You rolled your eyes.

"My mother is the same way, it gets annoying sometimes." Ferran chuckled.

"Yeah well, that means I gotta look for her now."

"I'll come with you, I think I know where Jordi and Busi are, so that's where she must be too." Ferran stood up and so did you. You two went over to the elevator and he pressed the button with a big 4 on it.

"Four? What's there?"

"A giant open area, it's like a huge balcony with a bar and tables and all that." He explained and you nodded your head. "two to three is staff, five are doctors and therapists and seven to eight are players."

"What about six?" Your gaze shifted from the buttons to his eyes again.

"That's like hanging out or having meetings, it's basically 4 giant rooms." He shrugged his shoulders and you nodded your head.

"Okay."

The two of you then were successful while searching for your mother because you found her exactly where Ferran thought she was gonna be.

Your brothers were playing on your moms phone, but only about 20 minutes later after chatting with Elena and Romarey, you decided to go out for lunch. However it was only you, your mom and your brothers.

So while sitting in the car, you crossed your arms while looking at Mateo next to your mom in the passangers seat.

He had convinced your mother to let him sit there so you had no other chance but sit next to Ciro and Thiago in the back.

"Did you see vicky?" Ciro asked as he looked at you.

"No I didn't." You answered in a harsh tone, obviously still pissed off.

"She's not even here yet." Thiago told his brother who looked at you again. You stayed silent for a second while thinking about all the people arriving in a few days.

"Oh my god, Oriana is coming soon!" You screeches in excitement. Sadly you and Dybala's girlfriend rarely got to meet up even tho you two got along great.

"So is Vicky coming too?" Ciro asked once again and you turned to look at him. Vicky was Paredes's daughter.

"I don't know Ciro, quit asking me stupid questions." You told him off to which you saw your mom give you an angry look through the review mirror. You shurgged your shoulders as an answer.

So two days went by like that, you spending time with your family and meeting old friends. Until eventually you were sitting on your bed, looking at some instagram reels when you saw an Incoming phonecall from Oriana.

Immediately you accepted and her face popped up on the screen.

"Hey babe, look where I am." She smiled and turned the camera, she was sitting in the car but you could see through the window. She was infront of your hotel.

"Oh my god, I'm coming down." A smile filled your face immediately and you hung up while you stood up and began to sprint to the elevator. Mateo just looked at you confused but then turned around and went back to playing with his Ipad. As you arrived, you just saw Oriana walking inside, without thinking for a second, you walked over to her and wrapped your arms tightly around her body.

"Oh my god" She simply mumbled as she kissed your cheek and pressed you closer to herself.

"I missed you so much." You smiled and then slowly pulled away from her, she brought up her hands and cupped your cheeks as she looked at you.

"You're so grown up." She smiled, her teeth visible, you just couldn't resist but smile too.

"Oh come on, just cause you're older than me."

"I'm not older than you, I was born first." Ori gave you a small smile as she let her hands fall down once again. She hated being called old.

You then went to her room, she obviously had to leave her stuff there, so while you sat on the couch which was facing the small tv, she showed you all kinds of clothes she brought and where she planned to wear them. Meanwhile you and Oriana were having loads of fun, the others in the spanish team were still holding a grudge, but they didn't have much time for that especially when their coach just texted Ferran to inform everyone around him that there will be a team meeting.

"I'll tell him." Ferran told Balde as he stood up from the bed and walked over to the door, before he left he turned around. "I'll be right back"

That's when he made his way over to Pedri's room which wasn't too far away from Baldes. As he knocked on the door, he heard a "come in" from inside the room and then he immediately pushed down the doorhandle.

"Hey, Lucho said we'll have to be downstairs in 30 minutes." Ferran said as he looked at Pedri sitting on the bed.

"For what?" The midfielder asked without looking up from his phone.

"Team meeting" Ferran mumbled and then just as he wanted to close Pedri's door again, the midfielders voice stopped him.

"Ferran-" Pedri began and the striker opened the door wider so he could look at him, still not stepping away from the doorframe. "Can I talk with Gavi, Balde and you after?"

"Yeah, I'll tell them" Ferran nodded and then closed the door. As he walked over to Gavi's room, he noticed a weird smell of feminine perfume lingering around in the hallway, but he ignored it and just thought that it was from a worker of the hotel.

As he knocked on the door, he heard ruffling and shifting on the other side. Then after a few seconds Gavi opened the door, he wore that pissed off expression on his face, just like always. In Ferrans opinion it was funny how gavi always looked mad.

"What?" He asked, he was obviously still pissed off about Pedri, he had every right to be of course.

"Um, Pedri wanted to talk me, you and Balde after the teammeeting." Ferran began walking into Gavi's room and he sat down on the bed eventually.

"You can tell him to go fuck himself, talking out things now? That idiot." Gavi crossed his arms infront of his chest and leaned a bit forward as he talked.

"Gavi, you'll have to listen to what he has to say, besides the fact I'm sure Y/n doesn't care if Pedri hates he-" Gavi cut off Ferran mid sentence.

"It's not about Messi's daughter, I couldn't give a shit less about her, its about the awfully childish behavior he has. That's annoying me the most. 'well yeah three years ago she was mean to someone now ill hate her for the rest of my life' you can't tell me that that is not childish. How are we gonna win the World Cup if we'replaying with him?" Gavi said Pedri's part in a high pitched voice.

"Well yeah but I think he thought about this a lot and now he's got himself together." Ferran still defended Pedri. It wasn't like Gavi was wrong, but he understood the way Pedri thought about you. Because that was the last impression he got of you and that's what stayed with him for all these years. He could've made a few new impressions of you instead of holding onto the old ones, Ferran interpretended you as a nice woman who you could definitely have a laugh with.

However now it was very stressful for everyone and many people lost their patience earlier with some of their teammates already.

With the world cup happening in 11 days, nobody needed any drama or fights. That's why Ferran was glad that Pedri wanted to talk things out. So after the team meeting with Luis Enrique, Pedri was confronted by one of his worst fears in that moment. He saw Gavi standind next to the spanish coach, Gavi looked rather serious, his coach was seen smiling.

But as Gavi turned his head and saw the Canarian staring at him, he said goodbye to his coach and walked over to him.

"Hey" He stopped right infront of him, it took his a couple of seconds to snap out of it before responding to Gavi.

"Let's go to my room, Ferran and Balde are already there." Gavi agreed with a small nod and then followed Pedri to his room.

As the door swung open, Gavi saw Ferran and Balde sitting on the couch, so he went to join them while Pedri sat down on the bed infront of them.

"So I have thought over everything and I wanna apologise for my stupid behaviour, it was unsuitable and not necessary, I'll change it." Pedri immediately addressed the elephant in the room. A few seconds of silence sat between the footballers in the room.

"I didn't really care anyways. As long as you don't start beef with me, we good." Balde put up both of his hands in the air and Pedri chuckled a bit. Ferran was smiling too but as Pedri looked at Gavi, he saw the same expression he wore when he was pissed off.

After mostly the three of them talked, it was time to leave and then go to sleep. Ferran and Balde went out the room first, just as Gavi wanted to follow, Pedri stopped him.

Gavi turned his body to face Pedri, the Canarian held up his hand to dab up Pedri "Are we good?" he asked as Gavi put his hand into his.

"Mhm, we are." Gavi licked his lips and then turned his head away but Pedri kept holding onto his hand.

"Are we?" The Canarian asked to which Gavi turned around again. This time he couldn't contain the smile that dared to slip every second.

"We are." Gavi said in a more convincing voice. To that Pedri's face also lit up with a smile and he pulled Gavi into a hug.

"I'm glad." Pedri patted his back a few times before pulling away.

"Yeah now let go of me." Gavi smiled a bit while he pushed him back and then left the room. Pedri then closed and locked the door immediately and went to sit down on his bed. As he opened Instagram, a few posts popped up of people he knew who also traveled to Qatar.

While scrolling down his feed, he saw one specific picture posted by Oriana. Pedri had gotten closer to Dybala over chat and they got along great, he was looking forward to meeting him in real life, so of course he knew who his girlfriend was.

What he didn't know was that she was on good terms with you, as he swiped through the 10 pictures Oriana posted, he saw that you appeared on 9 of them. Always hugging eachother or just being right next to eachother.

Pedri shook his head and then turned off his phone and decided to finally go to sleep.

While Pedri went to sleep, you were wide awake, lying on your back below your covers. The door to your own small balcony was wide open, cars speeding in the distance and the waves crashing against eachother were heard outside. The fresh air that blew inside made you shiver as you were only wearing panties and a bra, so you decided to stand up and pulled a simple red shirt over your head while making your way over to your closet where you his the cigarettes below some shirts your brought.

You pulled one out, lit it and then walked outside, while you admired the ocean once again, you finished smoking the cigarette and sat down on the floor. Luckily the railing was made out of glass so you could see through. It was also surprisingly hot, you didn't feel cold at all, even tho you just had a shirt on. And without even realizing it, you began to drift off to sleep, so you stood up quickly and moved to your bed. While you laid on your back, you waited for your eyelids to get heavier and heavier until they eventually shut down and you fell asleep. In that moment you wouldn't have thought that the next week would be the most life changing week of your life.

[nguyenfinity]

so like women--

Oukawa nee-hans!! rehashed their designs from a while while back and fleshed them out more with @posebean (and a bonus hiki who's niki's older brother from here)

Shinju (22 y.o.)

aiming to be head of the family so her siblings (especially kohaku) can get (relative) peace

^why she and hiki broke up 'cause their goals just didn't line up but they're still best best friends

likes cute things and loves bugs

like. like she really likes them (has a little terrarium and will pick up centipedes with her bare hands)

especially likes beetles

hates mosquitoes. if she sees one it's on sight. (one buzzed by hiki's ear one time and that's the closest he's been to death)

hiki'll be somewhere overseas and she'll get a call at like 3 AM where he's like "hey look at this bug i found"

rates the bugs he sends her and bugs in general (scale of 1-10)

got real excited about kohaku being in a group called crazy:b.

drinking buddies with rinne, hiki, and oremeru but can't actually get drunk mild poison immunity

no light in her eyes 'cause of [gestures to family work]

horrible horrible sweet tooth

Ruri (19 y.o.)

causes problems on purpose

knows all the internet slang (and subsequently teaches it to kohaku)

[talking to rinne] "you have like negative rizz" rinne: [bluescreening trying to process what just happened]

rinne has beef with her over the niki marriage thing during sudden death (she was so unserious man)

when the bees and their siblings hang out it's just her and niki since they're the only middle children and they just bake cookies or whatever but he's so sopping wet and pathetic about it

whenever niki gets old enough to drink the older sibbees invite him out but don't want her to be left out so she comes along too (she's having a nice pleasant conversation with himeru while the other 4 are like. doing shots or something)

girls. girl liker girl lover

silly crush on anzu

helps her sister out with family stuff 'cause she needs a break--

Hiju (Hiki/Shinju)

they're best friends but they're still. horribly in love, they just can't be together together (see above)

someone'll go "so like. are you two a thing" and they'll be like "no ew" "gross" (they are cuddling on the couch while scrolling their phones)

hiki is "hikkun" to her and shinju is "shi-chan" to him

rinne's otp

also ruri's otp

they're indirectly competing for #1 wingperson (ruri's winning)

shinju's like 2 and a half weeks older than him but she'll do the thing where she's like "when i was your age [describes what she did 2 and a half weeks ago]"

met when shinju was transferred into hiki's school to investigate his family pre-scandal and getting close to their oldest son seemed to be the easiest route since they're the same age

spoiler alert they fall horribly in love but they break up shortly after the scandal, at the airport when hiki leaves to go on his shiina family redemption endeavor

saw each other again for the first time in like 5 years at the bees MDM live when they saw each other in the audience and there's a beat of silence before shi-chan starts laughing 'cause his hoops are so stupid

"WHAT'S WITH THOSE"

"IT'S FASHION"

"IT'S STUPID"

"LIKE YOUR PUNK-ASS HAIR STYLE ISN'T"

they have to leave the venue early or else they're gonna get kicked out for causing a scene.

they go grab drinks and catch up tho and it's a whole thing of realizing they still love each other and. yeah

whenever hiki's in japan they spend time together :]

gets light back in her eyes when she sees him

shi-chan pushes him to reconnect with his younger brothers

me and bean when characters are so inequivocally each other's but not [ugly sobbing]

we did it, we finally got insane about something that's not rinky

[etherealspacejelly]

i have been every type of sibling at some point in my life and i think that explains why i am the way i am lmao

for the first 10 years of my existence, i was the youngest child. i had one brother who was 5 years older than me.

then my sister came along, and suddenly i was the middle child despite being the youngest for over half of my childhood at this point. so i spent my tween and teen years as the middle (and still am)

however. my brother is disabled. he has always struggled with stuff, dropped out of college, doesnt have a job, barely leaves the house. its not his fault at all and i really feel for him, he got screwed over by the system. but this has meant that as the next oldest child, i took over a lot of the responsibility in the house, such as chores and babysitting my sister, and i ended up doing a lot of the 'oldest sibling milestones' first like being the first to get a job, the first to go to university, the first to move out, etc.

so this means that i kinda take on the role of the oldest sibling a lot of the time, even though im technically not.

and to top it all off, both of my siblings are my half-siblings. they live with me, we grew up together, but they have different dads to me and each other. but we all share a mum. so when i go to my dads house, im an only child.

all this to say. its me. im siblings georg. my life is wild when i think about it lmao

[serendipitous-girl]

so one time my older siblings were sleeping over bc their power was out back at their house (they live with their mom bc theyre my half siblings from my dad)

so anyways

im sleeping downstairs bc i let my sister have my room upstiars and my older brother was downstairs with my little brother

its like soooo late at night like 2 (i was scared myself into not sleeping again)

and i heard my door open and i quickly realized my parents were upstairs everyone ik should be here (i had known my oldest brother wasnt sleeping at my house that night)

so this guy comes in and im wide awake already coming up with a plan to kick ass and stuff

im in the living room and bro has a flashlight js like a robber would and im like holy shit im gonna actually have to do something

bro there was like a moment where i was like wait ik this guy

i thought he was my oldest brother's best friend for some reason but i wasnt sure so i was still freaked out

and the guy goes "fizzy?"

im like oh fuck thats my oldest brother im an idiot

i get up and i told him he was stupid for using a wackass flashlight in the middle of the night

he ended up sleeping in my little brother's room

:|

i went to bed at 6 am probably later i forgot

LOL (i was like 9)

that would've freaked me out too that's scary 😭

[naughtibonbear]

Namor fantasy isekai idea

Ok here we go fantasy Isekai au, I love OI novels and comics, and this idea has not left me since.

Here we go:

You are now the oldest daughter of the former king of Wakanda, your older Brother T'challa is now king after your father has passed, and you are the middle child between you, T'challa, and Shuri. Your brother wants to try to make peace with the neighboring countries, sadly some of the other leaders don't have the same mind. With an amazing older brother as king and an intelligent younger sister, the people don't see you as much, especially since you don't have any specialties yet. (Magic is definitely on the table for abilities besides don't a lot of OI leads or princesses have magic ;3) 

The kingdom as stated before doesn't care or really think much of you. You would make a great political bride for peace among the realms. After an attack at the world leaders meeting, you lost your father the king, and "Lost" some of your memories aka when you awoke into this world. It is a world based on a fantasy series you used to read, now the princess of Wakanda you get to see the characters in a whole new light. 

Now for our male lead this isekai Namor, I want to mix both Namor of the comics and MCU Namor for this. Making his kingdom is somewhat difficult depending on which way I want to go with the kingdom, I want to keep Talokan and figure out a way to mix both kingdoms into one for the story.

This Namor will be a mixture of both the comics and MCU. As I said, he does have long hair because I won't lie, the ponytail was pretty nice. He is a king well-loved by all except for some in his kingdom, being the half-human/ Talokan mutant he isn't well-liked by those who hate the surface dwellers and bigotry is still a problem in this fantasy world.

Things are a bit tense between both of your countries. Hopefully, you can ease that tension and make peace between them. He is an excellent king, as noted from all his appearances, he puts his kingdom first. He has a commanding presence, he is in charge and everyone can tell. He is absolutely charming to those he is interested in, and if he falls in love he's going to try to go all in.

I won't lie as I am mixing the comic with the MCU Namor, he is a bit on that possessive side and obsessive, he falls in love and he is passionate about it. Is he Arrogant yes but he can hold it in for a while, his pride is one of his many traits, at the same time MCU Namor has this sweet side to him, a kindness, a playfulness, but also a ruthlessness that he always has when it comes to protecting his people. Anyway, look forward to it becoming a fanfic on here after I work out the kinks in it.

[wolfie-queen-bri]

I wanna talk about family. Specifically, my family.

Between my bio-father, my mom, and my dad; there are 6 siblings. I'll do my best to explain, but keep in mind that I only use half and step to explain because in everyday life, we just call each other brother and sister (and sometimes not so nice names).

The oldest is my half-brother, E. He is 41 and is a very nice and laid back man. He doesn't really like our bio-father because he used to beat him.

The second oldest is my step-sister L. She is 39 and has pretty ginger hair. I get mad when she dyes her hair blonde. My Dad's oldest.

The third oldest is my step-sister A. She is 37 and a bit odd. She was born in Feb. My Dad's middle child.

The fourth oldest is my step-sister M. She is 37 but born in Oct. A is her and L's half sister by Dad. I am very proud of M, she is going to collage to be a pediatric nurse.

The fifth oldest is my blood brother, C. He is 34 and one of the funniest people you'll ever meet. My mom's first child.

I am B, and I am the baby. I am 31 and considered to be everyone's favorite. Mom's last child.

Phew, with me so far? This is where it gets a little crazy.

I have 5 older siblings and between those 5, they have 18 children. All children are written from oldest to youngest with their parent.

E has 3 daughters: Al, Au, and H.

L has 5 children, 3 boys and 2 girls: Aus, Isa, Myk, Sav, and RyJ.

A has 2 children: Ab and Ad.

M has 3 boys: Mal, Lu, and Da.

C has 5 kids, 3 boys and 2 girls: Kai, Ei, Iz, Li, and T.

I have a cat named Tear (y'all love him).

I'M NOT DONE YET THOUGH.

My niece Al (brother E's oldest), is 20 and had her first baby in March. He is my great-nephew, RyEd.

And I think A's daughter Ab is 18 or 19 and also going to have a baby.

And that is my family! Sorry for the blabbing, but I just wanted to talk about my family.

[gladiatorofthevoid]

Rise April Challenge Day 2: Competition

First - Next - Masterpost

Ao3 Link: here

When they had been younger, Donnie and Leo had begun to wonder which of them was the older. All the brothers knew that Raph was the oldest and Micky was the youngest, but as for the middle two there was never a real answer. When this had come to the children’s attention, they had done what any child would do when they had a question. They asked their father. It wasn’t all that helpful.

“Neither.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN NEITHER?!” Leo shouted, “One of us had to have been born first!” Splinter shrugged.

“You are twins. Twins are born at the same time.”

“But that’s not fair!”

“Yeah!” Donnie agreed, “I have to be older, so I can tell him what to do.” Leo growled and glared at his brother, looking just about ready to tackle him. Splinter sighed; this was going nowhere. It’s time for a new tactic.

“Very well. We will try something...”

Thus, the Competition was born.

-

The exact game or challenge was never the same, but the bet always was the same: Winner got big brother rights over the other for a day. When they were younger it was simpler things like a race or a guessing game. But as they got older, they got sneakier and more vicious. So, the competition had to get more complicated, the rules more specific, and inevitably more dangerous. The last straw had been when Splinter had walked in on Leo balancing on a tightrope, holding several lit candles. While Donnie watched on, peeling candle wax off his arms from his attempt. After that the Competition was borderline banned unless they were given express permission.

After a while it faded into childhood memories, a funny story to remember on family game nights. Until now.

-

“Donnie I am fine.”  

“No, Leo, you are not. Did you not hear me? Your ribs are bruised, your left wrist is fractured, your right shoulder was dislocated, and that’s not even the half of it!”

“I'll just walk it off.”

“...Walk it off? Walk it off! YOU CAN BARLY EVEN STAND!” Why did Leo always have to make this so difficult? The blue turtle rolled his eyes and leaned more on to the kitchen island.

“Listen Dontron. I'm just making myself breakfast, it's not like I'm going on a hike, or training. It’s not that big a deal.” Donnie clenched his teeth and balled his hands into fists.  

Stupid dum-dum, so stupid all the time, why was it always-  

He took a slow breath and closed his eyes. It was pointless. Leo got into this mindset sometimes, one that made the thought of getting any form of help itchy and painful. It was worse when he was sick or in pain or had gotten too into his own head. But it had been a while since any of the brothers had to deal with it. Normally Dr. Feelings would help, sit down and talk to the slider into whatever he needed. But Micky wasn’t here right now, and Donnie didn’t have the time or the patience to try. That left only one option. He didn’t want to half to use this card, but it was the only way Leo would listen. Donnie opened his eyes and glared at Leo.

“I declare a Competition.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up, then furrowed.  

“...What?” The slider asked,

“You heard me.” Donnie crossed his arms.

“Don, we haven’t done that in years. Besides dad will flip if he finds out.”

“Are you backing down?” Donnie asked, and Leo glowered back. They both knew that backing down meant a forfeit, meaning an atomatic  win for Donnie. The only way out for his brother was to accept the challenge and win.  

“Fine. What’s the game?” Donnie smirked, perfect. He pointed across the kitchen to the door.  

“Walk through that door and back, without holding on to anything.”

Leo snarled at his brother in rage.

“Come on Donnie, play fair!” He snapped.

“If you can make yourself a meal, you can walk into the next room and back.” Donnie stood his ground.

Leo growled and glared at the counter he was leaning on in frustration. He then took a deep breath, let go, and began to move towards the door. He made it five slow, hobbling, stumbling steps before one of his legs gave out and he began to fall. He rolled to his side, trying to avoid putting his weight on his injured wrist only to slam his hurt shoulder instead. He hissed and rolled on to back and stared at the ceiling till Donnie’s face came into view.  

“I win.” Don deadpanned and bent to help his brother up.

“Cheater.” Leo hissed, but accepted the hand and pulled himself up, half collapsing on to his brother when he was upright. The genius shrugged, and supported the idiot as he carried him to the med bay.  

“Doesn’t matter, I’m still older.”

“Only for today.” Leon protested but followed without resistance.

“Well, as today’s big brother, I’m keeping you in bed. So your stupid body can heal itself.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, I’ll get you next time.”

“Keep dreaming, little brother. Keep dreaming.”  

It was hours later, as Donnie typed on his tablet and Leo watched some videos on his phone, that the slider managed to get out of his head enough to turn to his brother and whisper a quite: “Thank you.”

Donnie pretended not to hear, but quietly reached up and rubbed his brother’s head.

First - Next - Masterpost

Please check out @zee-rambles who came up with this challenge. Also take a look at @rise-april-art-challenge​ for more submissions.

[martialgodz]

my family dynamic is so fucked up cause i was raised with my step brother who is 7 years older than me and we always refer to each other as being siblings which makes people think we're full siblings but we aren't. and he had a kid when he was 17 and she is less like my niece and more like my baby sister and her dynamic in the family is like that of the youngest child and so i have major middle child syndrome despite technically being the youngest. in my biological family i am considered the youngest and my oldest blood (half) sibling is over 30 years older than me and i have nieces and nephews who are almost 10 years older than me and i became a great uncle at the age of 20. and im also the only one in my immediate family with my last name and that did indeed effect my psyche a lot as a kid cause my step dad's last name (which is my mom's last name and brother and niece's last name) decorates my childhood home despite the fact that it isn't my last name.

[b-afterhours]

Avenue of Sins: Epilogue

SUMMARY: a story of two misfit kids from mid-west america making it big in the big apple. and in the true sense of the american dream they find themselves in a life of sex, money, drugs, and a little rock n roll too.

WARNINGS: adult content, mature readers only.

if you’re seeing this for the first time you can read part one here and if you need to catch up on previous chapters go here.

series playlist

Authors Note: Buckle in this one is a long one, 14k words. Thank you if you ever made it this far ♡

Three Years Later…

September 1992

It felt like it was happening all over again. Except Bill was on a plane ready to land in Seattle, Washington. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as the plane descended, his least favorite part about flying. He hadn’t traveled in what seemed like years from New York City. He was too busy with managing Trigger Finger to travel and too paranoid to leave it. He felt like if he ever did the place would burn down or even worse, raided by the DEA. That was until recently after a year's worth of paperwork and back door deals he was able to relax some. 

He needed a partner who cared about Trigger Finger XXX as much as he did but some who also cared about Myrna. Someone who knew her. He proposed half of the ownership to his confidant and oldest friend at the club, Cooch the Coach who he now called Bianca, his business partner. A lot of things shifted at the club. Once Bianca became a partner she passed down her title of house mother to Kansas. She took it only if she never had to perform again and just took care of the girls. Bill was fine with that even though he would miss her earnings. Most notable was when Queenie became head bartender, replacing Alma when she decided to leave. 

Alma left. It wasn’t a surprise. He could feel her slowly pulling away ever since that night. That night. He didn’t want her to go. He didn’t get to make up all the times he meant to say ‘I love you’ yet. He still had all the ones he thought. 

When she decided to go she told him only that she wanted to take a trip back home to the middle of nowhere, Strathburg, Missouri. She missed her mom, she said. It was time she saw her again just for a week she told him. In his heart, he knew. She wasn’t coming back. She was letting him down easy. To get used to the feeling of her not being there. A week turned into two. And on the third week, she called. Her mom was sick. She will be staying until she gets better. Bill didn’t question her even though he wondered if she was being truthful. 

Two months later Alma’s mother passed away. Her leaving must have been divine timing Bill thought to make Alma’s defection less about him. He couldn't imagine what kind of heartbreak she would have gone through knowing she never got to say goodbye after years of not seeing her mother. One of Bill’s older brothers went to Mrs. Lucio’s funeral. To pay his respects to a matriarch of their community on behalf of his extended family. Bill wired his brother money to help Alma with funeral costs, even though she probably didn't need it but he wanted his brother to get close enough to her so that he could report back all about her. How she looked. If she asked about him. 

“Arrived. Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. The time is 9:45 AM and it’ll be a brisk 70 degrees out with a light drizzle.” The pilot announced as soon as they began to taxi to the gate. 

Bill finally exhaled the breath he had held in, anxiously awaiting to stretch his long legs that had been cramped during the four-hour one-way flight despite booking first class. He had traveled out of Kansas City. Making a quick stop to visit his two older brothers. The oldest of whom he had expected to ask him for money but not until he had settled in. He asked him an hour into being back home in Strathburg. The other second oldest who loved him but disapproved of his life, he was most happy to see. Because at least he lived honestly and told Bill what he needed to hear from time to time. It felt bleak being back home but at least he felt justified for leaving it behind seeing the state of the town in shambles. He knew he’d hang himself from the white oak tree he’d liked to climb in his childhood he had not. 

He joined his second oldest brother to the grocery store for barbecue meats to celebrate his last night in town when he unexpectedly ran into Alma’s father, Mr. Lucio. He almost hadn’t recognized the old man. Alma’s parents were much older when they had her and the man now walked with a hunch and a cane. He wore a trucker cap and a clean mechanics work shirt. 

“Billy Skarsgard?” Mr. Lucio said after having stared at Bill nearly unable to recall him. 

“Yes, sir. How have you been?” 

The old man grumbled disapprovingly. “Okay…” he said looking behind him and towards another woman near his age getting into the passenger seat of his Chevy pickup. “I’ve gotten remarried a few years ago… long before Mrs. Lucio passed, mind you.” 

“Yes, I’m sorry to hear that.” Bill slid his hands into his pockets feeling uncomfortable. 

“Alma… she wasn’t so happy hearing that we separated while she was gone. But she hardly ever called, you see.” Mr. Lucio gave him a pointed look. “Well, I wish I could say it was good to see you…” 

“I understand, Mr. Lucio.” Bill frowned a bit. 

He rolled his eyes and exhaled harshly out his flared nostrils once he was able to leave the old man's presence and join his brother inside the run-down store. Mr. Lucio never liked him but for some reason, a part of him hoped he’d regard him as the grown man he was now rather than the teenage boy he knew before. 

…

Bill had rented a Honda Civic from the airport and took the short drive to his hotel. His nerves were beginning to get to him even worse than they had been before he started his journey. Alma had some knowledge of his arrival. During a phone call last week, he had told her he’d be traveling to visit her within the month. He was scared to give her an exact date of his arrival, irrationally worried that she may suddenly skip town and evade him. On their occasional phone calls, he would always have a notepad by his side. Taking note of the places she visited, or the friends she had, but one in particular was the note he made that she worked at a record shop. She probably would have told him the name of the place had he asked but he was oddly too scared to. Instead, he made things more difficult and acquired a Seattle/Tacoma phonebook and had Queenie call every record shop in the area asking for her. 

“Sheisty Sound Records, how can I help you?” 

“Hello, uh, yes I was wanting to speak to Alma. Does she happen to be in today? I have a question about a uh, return?” Queenie said her mind was tired of repeating the same script over and over by this point. 

“Alma is busy with a customer right now but I can-” 

Queenie slammed down the phone on the receiver and screamed in elation and relief. She ran up the stairs to the loft office and barged in without knocking. Startling Bill and his bodyguard Theo as they were speaking. 

“Sheisty Sound Records! I found her, Bill!” 

“No way!” He said perking up in his seat and taking the piece of paper Queenie had written down the much-needed information he was seeking. “Shit! Thank you so much.”

Queenie stood there proudly before asking, “I really hope you go see her now. I miss her. Bring her back Bill. Last time she visited she didn’t stay very long and we hardly saw her.” 

Bill smiled sheepishly but thanked her again for her trouble and promised her a personal tip that night. 

In his hotel room, Bill immediately entered the hot shower after he made a phone call to the record store asking for Alma and hung up before an employee could pass the line over to her. The steam from the shower felt glorious to him. He didn’t like how the recycled plane air stuck to his skin and made his face and lips dry. As he stood there letting the water cascade over his body he reminisced about the last time he had seen Alma almost two years ago. For some reason, it didn’t feel as nerve-racking to see her then as it did now. He thought that maybe after dealing with her mother's affairs after her death was done her trip back to New York City was her coming back home to him. Unfortunately, she had only come all that way to gather some of her main belongings and give away a few other things to whichever girl at the club wanted them. 

He was rather sad that she wasn’t staying but he decided that he wouldn’t hold her back. He felt that he had done so long enough. He remembered one night they were together they spoke only once and briefly about Craig before mutually changing the subject. It still felt too raw, too real then. Alma admitted to him that she still had night terrors about it. He admitted the same but didn’t tell her that Craig succeeded in killing her in his dreams instead. Bill watched her speak and noticed how her skin looked so plump and less sunken. Her eyes had a spark to them again and it made his heart flutter. She had stopped doing drugs cold turkey just by being in Strathburgh for the last year. She looked healthy and it seemed like she had a slightly better disposition on life despite her mother’s passing. He knew her mother was the only thing tying her to their home town and in some way, her passing freed her from that place.  

Bill ran a bar of Ivory soap across his body remembering how Alma touched him the last time they made love. Real love. The type of lovemaking that still could shudder his breath thinking about. When she was back he told her loved her constantly but that night he couldn’t keep the words out of his mouth. They kissed every inch of each other. Their bodies had connected thousands of times before but that night they were never more aware of how perfect they fit until that moment. Like it was meant to be. 

Bill quickly rinsed off, trying to keep himself from being too distracted by those thoughts. Drying off, he lit a cigarette before using the hotel hair dryer. He wanted to get ready quickly and hoped that maybe he could catch Alma on a lunch break or if not he could scope the place out and try again tomorrow. Once the steam from the mirror in front of him dissipated he looked at his face in the mirror and contemplated trimming his facial hair or shaving it all off. He swiped his hand across his upper lip stubble one last time and decided he wouldn’t mind a clean shave. 

After a quick stop at a flower shop, where he ordered a fresh bouquet of white and light pink peonies. It felt weird to show up to Sheisty Sound Records empty-handed. He sat in the car for a moment observing the Seattleites walking around with hot cups of coffee, wearing what seemed to be tattered hand-me-downs and, a lot of flannel. His gaze fell back on the shop when a logging truck revved by. The youths skating in front of the place and loitering by the shop didn’t help with his uneasiness. He could see his old self in them but they seemed more ruthless than he had ever been. He figured maybe it was because he was getting old and losing his edge. 

He stepped out of the small Civic, placing the bouquet on the roof so that he could bend down to retie his Doc Marten bootlace and pat down his crease-ironed trousers clean from lint along with his black Louis Vuitton polo shirt. He lightly jogged across the street with the bouquet in hand and as he got closer to the record shop he tightened his long black pea coat to his body as he passed the teenagers cracking jokes and making a slight ruckus after a young boy fell off his skateboard trying to do a simple kickflip. Just as quickly as he spotted them, they spotted his tall imposing figure in all black approaching them. The three teen girls who were looking up at him jaws dropped and their hands came up to their mouths as they tried to stifle their blushing giggles. The teen boys just stared at him unsure of how to react to him but they quickly rolled their eyes when noticing the girl's reaction. 

“Holy fuck he’s tall as hell!” 

He heard one of the boys say as he walked inside the establishment. He stood there a moment until a woman with a baby on her hip and a diaper bag in hand passed him and politely asked if he’d help her open the door. He nodded and did so taking a look at the bundled baby in a white puffer onesie and a matching beanie as the child waved at him. He caught himself smiling. 

Bill took a gaze at the record shop, the same as many others only that it was much bigger inside than he anticipated. From the outside, it looked more like a small hole-in-the-wall establishment but inside it spanned much longer. Something he hadn’t seen in most record shops was that they had a back area with a stage reminding him of when he used to manage local NYC punk bands. This looked like the type of venue he would have booked back then. It was a nice place he had to admit and it was just the kind of place he would find Alma.

There was a folksy rock song playing on the store's stereo system as he approached the cash wrap which sat in the middle of the place similar to a circulation desk you would see in a public library. He cleared his throat to gain the attention of a girl with a bleached buzz cut and a septum piercing she fashioned with a diary lock. She was rifling through a stack of tapes with chipped red painted fingernails and idly conversing with another employee, a guy with long hair in a low ponytail who was wearing a thrifted brown tweed suit jacket over a white band tee riddled with cigarette-burned holes. 

“Excuse me, I’m a friend of Alma? I was hoping she’d be here?” He said, lifting a brow nervous that he may not even be at the right record shop after all. 

“Alma? Umm…” the girl looked around the store for a moment. “I think she’s still on her lunch break?” 

“No.” The guy said with a bored sigh, never looking up from his task of pricing records. “She took an early lunch break today. She might be in the back.” He shrugged. 

Another employee stopped near them in passing, overhearing them. She was tall, with afro twists adorned with gold string embellishments on the two front twists. 

“I last saw her by the bathrooms,” she said leaning on the cashier counter handing the girl with the buzzcut a few more tapes. “Here you go, Ulyssa.” 

“Those kids outside I swear they misplaced the tapes on purpose,” the girl with the buzzcut, Ulyssa grumbled.  

Bill stood there impatiently, they spoke almost as if he weren’t even there. They hardly ever looked at him beyond their tasks at hand. Unconsciously, he rubbed his temple. Was Alma there or were they fucking with him, he thought. 

“Okay… but she's here, right?” He asked. 

“Yes, I’m here.” A familiar voice announced before laughing. 

He looked a little behind him to his right and saw Alma there leaning against the threshold of a small office room. She looked different but in a good way. He noticed she had adapted her style to where she was now. Wearing high-waisted mom jeans, a plain white shirt tucked in under an oversized brown cardigan, and black Converse. The biggest difference was her long teased hair was cropped to her shoulders in a long bob and she was wearing her glasses again. A pair without a chip in it. 

“You gonna just stand there or do you wanna come into my office?” She smiled at him. 

Bill smiled too as he finally approached. She took his hand and closed the door behind him before she hugged him tightly. She couldn’t help herself and snuggled her face into his chest taking in the scent of him. She missed him that was for sure. He felt her hands snake around to his back feeling around to the front of his chest again. She bent all the way down sliding her hands on the outer side of his legs. Bill looked at her curiously, his mind going in a direction he didn’t expect their first encounter to go, at least, not yet. Until, on her way back up she swiped her hands on the inner side of his legs stopping just before she touched his crotch. There was a devious grin on her face. 

“Really? You’re seriously checking me for a fucking wire?” Bill said with a smirk of disbelief on his face. 

Alma laughed. “You never know.” 

“You never, what? Do you not know me anymore?” While it was a rhetorical question in nature he couldn’t help but wonder.

“Oh my god, Bill.” Alma groaned, rolling her eyes. She took a seat, not in her office chair, but instead one of the two that sat in front of it. “I’m just fucking with you.”

“I had pictured this going so differently.” He said taking a seat next to her. 

“Disappointed? 

“No, I was just so nervous and here we are again back to how we’ve always kinda been.” He shrugged. “I got these for you,” he said, passing her the bouquet of peonies. 

She smiled nearly burying her face in to smell them. “Aww, thank you. You’re so sweet when you let yourself be, you know?” She said, hugging his hand briefly. “I’ll put these in a vase after lunch.” 

“Your coworkers out there said you took an early lunch?” He lifted a brow. 

“But you’re here now, aren’t you hungry? Wait, how long have you been in town?” 

Bill looked at his silver Rolex watch. “Hmm, since mid-morning. Almost 4 hours?” 

“Okay, so let's get something to eat. I have a weird shift today. It’s a half day and then I’ve gotta come back later this evening because we have a show tonight.” 

“A show?”

“Let’s go! I’ll explain once we’re out of here.” She said standing up and grabbing both of his hands so that he would also. 

They walked hand in hand to a little family-owned pizzeria a few blocks away. Bill couldn’t help but notice how he looked like her tall looming shadow with the outfit he chose to wear. 

“You’re very sneaky but not really.” 

He heard her say suddenly wondering what she meant until she explained. 

“So which girl in the club did you have play as your private investigator?” 

Bill stopped in his tracks. “What?”

Alma turned around to look at him. “Oh, don’t play coy. You know you just could have asked me where I work. I wasn’t keeping it a secret.”

“You knew I was coming?” 

“In a way…” she said, retaking his hand so they could continue walking just a little bit further to enter the pizzeria. “Let's just get our pizza slices to go. We can talk in the plaza. Away from people.” 

They sat on a bench affixed with a large metal rain awning as they ate. Bill again watched the people in the strange cloudy city he was in. Miles away from New York eating subpar pizza. Though he wasn’t a born and raised New Yorker living there for over 10 years had made him a bit of a snob, though he rather not admit that. 

“New York pizza is better, huh?” Alma noticed Bill’s expression as she threw her pizza crust to a squirrel nearby. “It’s just what's close by,” Alma shrugged. 

“It’s fine enough, I guess. So… how’d you know I was coming? Do you have one of my girls working as a mole in my club for you?” 

Alma lightly laughed. “No. Well… not really. Cooch tells me stuff here and there but she’s not telling me the details of your day or anything like that.”

“Hmm,” he said to himself. Of course, it would be his business partner, of all people. Bianca liked them both and in the same way, Myrna did, she encouraged him to be with Alma. She was the reason he finally flew to town.

“Don’t be mad at her. If I want to know something I always call you first. It’s just sometimes a little verification doesn’t hurt. I really do want to know if you’re okay beyond what you share with me. Besides, it wasn’t her that blew your cover, it was you.”

“How? I didn’t say when I was coming.” 

“It was almost like a month ago? Someone called the store and Ulyssa told me a girl had called asking for me but they hung up on her face. Usually, when people ask for me they stay on the line to bitch about something. But I shrugged it off, until you told me almost a week after that, that you were going to dirty ol’ Strathburg but not when and you didn’t give me a date of when you were coming here either. But I knew Strathburg was a pit stop, at the very least.”

“Okay, okay so you knew.” 

“Well yes and no. I figured out you were coming but not until today. When you called asking for me and hung up in Ulyssa’s face again! And she said it was some guy this time. But yeah, I figured it was you.” She lightly laughed. 

“So are you happy that I’m here or do you feel put out that I came?” He leaned forward and clasped his hands turning his head towards her. 

“What? Never. Of course, I’m happy that you’re here.” She scooted closer to him, hooking her arm under his, and hugging it. “You can stay as long as you want. You can stay forever even.” 

He turned his head again towards her and kissed her. Doing so seemed to settle his worrisome mind. “I missed you. I love you.” 

“I know…” 

“I know we talk as much as we can but there’s so much stuff we can’t say,” Bill said and Alma nodded in agreement. 

While apart they would speak regularly but Bill could be paranoid and they both agreed that they would speak moderately vague. Afraid that in an unfortunate series of events, his phone lines have been taped or maybe someone could overhear something they weren’t supposed to. It’s the reason why he never asked Alma where she worked and the same reason Alma would call Cooch to verify things. 

“How long are you in town for?"

"I have a flight back on Sunday so 4 days? Three and a half now. But I mean I can really go back whenever I want. I don’t work as much when it comes to pushing cocaine. I’m nearly out. I just do some middleman sales with Alvin’s creepy ass.” 

“At least you finally admit he’s a creep! He’s an asshole too.” 

“I mean… I knew but he’s nobody.” He shrugged a bit but laughed. “I don’t touch the stuff anymore it became a bit tired. Boring even. It’s not as fun without you.” 

Alma rolled her eyes but smiled. “Oh please. But you do look really good, Bill.” She said, squeezing his bicep. He flexed a little to amuse her. “You look like some of those daddies that come to your club now.” 

“Oh yeah?” He smiled, kissing her on the cheek. Alma liked the feeling, she was so used to his stubbly kisses that his bare-faced ones felt so much sweeter. 

“Let’s not start…” she said suggestively.

“Okay, so as I was saying. I don’t sell grams to the patrons. But, there’s two guys – two dealers – who know Alvin that sell in the club. Same shit that we sold but they do the grunt work and all I do is take a fee from their sales inside my club. So I’m not making as much money as I was but… I don’t really need to.” 

“Smart. When people get greedy that’s when they lose it all.” 

Bill nodded. “True. Plus I just don’t want to deal with it anymore, honestly. Things are getting really ugly in NYC because everyone is cooking it down to rock. It’s just everywhere.”

“I heard.” Alma shook her head. “Here, people are mostly fucked off of dope. Gives me the heebie-jeebies. It’s not very glamorous either.” 

“Not at all. And you? How’s work and all that?” He leaned back on the bench placing a long arm over her shoulders.

“It’s busy like I said before on the phone. But it’s nice, the employees are great. If they ask, you’re a businessman, by the way, that's what I’ve told them,” she winked at Bill’s amused face. “But the music scene is so different here but I like it. The people here are a little bit nicer than people in the city for sure. I applied to night school. I start next spring semester, so that’s something new at least.” She shrugged. 

“Really? So you’re really going back?” Bill had recalled a late-night phone call after having phone sex with her that they spoke a bit about it but she was still indecisive about the prospect then. 

“Yes. I’m going to try at least.” She shrugged. “I- um it’s just the time management of it all, you know.” She sighed. She looked more stressed about the thought than she was letting on. Though, Bill figured it was just nerves because she hadn’t been in an academic setting in so long.

“Well I’m glad,” he said, rubbing her shoulder. “I’m sure you can do it. It’s just that means…” 

“I’ll be staying here.” She nodded with a slight frown on her lips. “I… want to go back. I do but there are just some – things – here that I have to take care of first.” Her gaze fell away from him as she explained which he found odd. It was avoidant and that unsettled him. As he was just about to ask what those things were, she stood up. “Um, we should go back to the shop the band roadies are supposed to be there around now. I need to be a boss and oversee that shit. You know how it goes,” she winked. 

…

Bill found himself moseying the record aisle while Alma helped direct the roadies where the music equipment needed to be on stage. He leafed through a table of records, seeing how many albums he could recognize when a copy of Dark Entries by Bauhaus jumped out at him. He smiled to himself, remembering the copy he used to personally own. He plucked it off the table and turned his head towards Alma. She was still preoccupied, letting in another group of bulky bearded men holding cases of beer, a cooler, and several bags of ice from the back door. At the counter sat the tall girl with long twists checking a customer out and placing their items in a brown bag, hand stamped in blue ink with the store's name on it. 

“Hey, um, I’m sorry. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Bill, Alma’s uh friend, yeah.” He said awkwardly because all things considered saying he was just a friend just didn’t feel right. Though, it was useless to get into the complicated specifics with a stranger. 

“Right. I’m Ash.” She said playfully pulling the skirt of her long maxi dress and giving him a curtsy. “You thinking of buying that?” She asked, pointing at the record in his hand. 

“Uh, actually I was hoping you could play it on the sound system?” He said handing it to her. 

“Oh, sure, no problem.” She looked at the cover and smiled. “Bauhaus, old school nice!” 

Bill smirked but he thanked her. Instead of standing around, he decided to duck off into Alma’s office leaving the door open to listen to the track he requested. He took off his coat draping it across the back of her office chair and looked around at the decor. It was mostly band posters and stickers stuck everywhere on the walls. Even on the windows, he could see out of which wrapped around the top half of the office. On the desk were only some payroll paperwork along with a few checked-out library books. Mostly a few nonfiction music bios, but there were two about feminism and two Dr. Seuss books. 

He was trying to get a sense of where Alma was at mentally but a part of him wanted to be naive. Not everything had to have a deeper meaning, he thought to himself but it didn’t satisfy him like he wished it would. He didn’t like the thought that she’d be living in Seattle longer than he anticipated. It had already been three years, wasn't that enough? Wasn’t he enough to go back by now? Something about how she deliberately avoided his gaze earlier bothered him too and he loathed that he felt that way. There was something she wasn’t telling him. 

…

Bill was buying beer from the impromptu bar those three bearded men were running, collecting bills in meaty clenched fists. He knew they were operating without licenses but he thought it was funny that even if Alma was working in a legit business she still found a way to be shady by outsourcing bikers for bartenders. The band, Fringe Fangs, was on stage shortly after Ulyssa and the guy with the ponytail from earlier who he learned was named Gregory did a jumbled and long-winded slam poetry duet as an opening act. 

“I just let them express themselves,” Alma said in a hushed whisper during their set when she noticed Bill side-eying her. “They’re very passionate, I guess.” She clamped her hand on her mouth to keep from laughing. 

Bill finally had two Rainier beers in hand, trying to circumnavigate the crowd who were moshing in the middle pushing the people near the edges where he was at. Like a sixth sense, he was able to spot someone barreling towards him and he quickly stepped back and turned his body to the side before being taken down with the unlucky few in front of him. He couldn’t remember the last time he was in a mosh pit but the way his joints ached these days he couldn’t even if he wanted to.

Alma had noticed the commotion that had happened in front of him and laughed but was glad he had made it back unscathed and two beer cans still full. They enjoyed the show by the sound mixing table at a safe distance from the chaos of thrashing bodies. He enjoyed the music and while the band wasn’t as great as some of the grunge tracks he’d listened to in his free time back home, they weren’t as bad for what it was worth. He noticed Ulyssa tap Alma on the shoulder from behind and she leaned her ear toward her mouth as she spoke. Alma’s brows furrowed before nodding her head in understanding. She turned around and downed the last bit of her beer and set it down on the floor. 

She put her hand up half-fisted with her thumb and pinky out to the side of her face and mouthed, “I have a call.” And then she put her pointer finger up letting him know she’ll only be a minute. 

He positioned his body in a way so that he could see a bit behind him to watch Alma followed by Ulyssa to the circulation cash wrap counter. He saw Alma put the phone to one ear and the other she covered with her hand to be able to hear whoever was on the other line. Her face looked somewhat apologetic as she spoke and then a strained frown appeared as she looked at Ulyssa who stood by also seeming to want to know the details of the call. Alma leaned her elbows on the desk, rubbing her forehead before hanging up. Ulyssa placed a hand on her shoulder as Alma seemed to have told her the particulars of the mysterious call she received. He noticed that she pointed at him and then Ulyssa walked around the cashier wrap, grabbing her tote bag and retrieving car keys out of them before slinging it over her shoulder. 

He turned back towards the stage again, took a sip of his beer, and swallowed hard. But not before catching a glimpse of Ulyssa holding Alma’s face in her hands as to reassure her before hugging her tightly. 

…

They were able to leave the record shop show at a decent time for them. While it was late, it wasn’t as late as when they would leave Trigger Finger. A few other employees who came in for the evening shift stayed behind to clean in understanding that their boss was hosting a friend from out of town as it seemed to him. However, she wasn’t hosting him at her apartment and instead, she asked if they could stay at his hotel. Especially, after having learned that he was staying in a king suite at the Fairmont Olympic. It was a fancy institution in Seattle close to Elliot Bay. 

“You set all this up?” She said taking her black Converse off as she entered the suite. She shrugged her tote bag off her shoulder glad that she always had an extra outfit in her office, something she learned to do while working at the club. 

“Well, there’s a patron at the club who’s a travel agent. I just told him what accommodations I wanted and he did all the work.” He said scratching the back of his ear before taking her tote bag and setting it on the couch.

He watched her walk towards the bedroom, swiping her hand across the neatly laid down comforter before going towards the window and opening the canvas blinds. Light rain was running down the glass as she gazed at the lit city below. He felt pulled towards her and as he approached and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. She leaned back, relaxing into his embrace and reaching a hand up to thread it into the hair on the back of his neck. 

“I love you,” he said between kisses. 

“I love you too,” she said, turning around to meet her lips with his. When she could feel him slowly inching them towards the bed she reluctantly pulled away and lightly laughed. “Could I, maybe, take a shower first? I had a long day and the show made me sweaty.” She said as she took her glasses off, shrugged her cardigan off, and tossed them on the single upholstered chair in the room.

“Oh yeah sure,” Bill said, catching his breath. 

“You can come too,” she winked, walking past him towards the bathroom as he followed with a smile on his face. 

He took off his shirt on the way in and fiddled with the shower taps to find a comfortable temperature for Alma. When he turned around she was already standing bare before him. His heart skipped. When she saw his eyes widen for a brief moment, she giggled. He took her hand, leading her into the shower, and made quick work of removing his pants and underwear in one fell swoop to join her under the warm shower of water. The sexual tension between them was palpable but he let her have a moment to wash her hair in which he helped scrub her scalp and while she conditioned it he wet his hair to make do with his. When he finished Alma was facing him for a moment, handing him a soapy washcloth and turning around again prompting him to run it along her body. He ran it along her back gingerly but as he ran it against her hips he couldn’t help but become enamored by how womanly her body had become. Soft in all the right places. He couldn’t take it anymore and pressed his body against her back. She gasped when she felt how hard he was pushing on her ass cheek. He continued running the washcloth delicately multiple times across her breasts which caused her eyes to flutter closed appreciating the sensations. She felt his lips on her neck again kissing tenderly as he dragged the washcloth towards her belly and squeezed the soap from it. The way the suds trickled down to her core tickled her for only a moment when they were replaced with his bare hand touching her there. His other hand was around a tit pinching her nipple. She opened her eyes to look down at the familiar but dearly missed sight, making her moan which echoed in the acoustics of the bathroom. Her hips bucked back as he made purposeful circles around her sensitive nub so that she could feel more of him hard-pressed against her. 

Bill stopped when she was near climaxing putting his hands on her hips to turn her around and got down on one knee. She leaned as comfortably as she could against the white tiled shower wall while hooking her leg around his shoulder before he delved in with his mouth. He wanted to taste her first climax of the night on his eager tongue. 

Cutting the shower off, Alma wrung her hair out quickly and took Bill’s hand as he led their way to bed. She wanted him so bad and he did as well but the shower wasn’t the best place when you need to be agile. He spun her to the front himself so that she could settle into the bed before himself but she sat at the edge for a moment. Taking him into her hands to stroke him considerately, missing the feeling and appreciating the heft of his erection. He watched her kiss his dripping tip before fully taking him in her mouth relishing the feeling of the warm pressure. Her hands assisted her by lightly massaging his balls. He looked at her affectionately while he gathered her wet hair in one hand and the other caressing her hollowed cheek prompting her to gaze up at him. He took the hand lightly tugging his balls and held it before he pulled his hips back to slightly thrust into her mouth. It was a courtesy thrust to alert her that he was going to do it again but less gently. She looked up again and nodded once, ready for him. She took him all the way to the back of her throat and she heard Bill deeply groan while her eyes were shut tight as they watered. 

“You’re always such a good girl for me,” he said. 

While he was enjoying himself he wanted to be inside her for real. So he gently pulled away and let her catch her breath. He crawled into bed following her as she scooted backward and finally reached her lips. He took the back of her head again to hold her there as he swiped his tongue along her bottom lip begging to be let in. As they made out, he positioned himself and perfectly aligned with her, muscle memory taking over. She followed the hand cradling her head down to the pillow, ready for him. He pushed inside her ever so gently which she loved because she liked to feel all of him slowly filling her wanting to feel every ridge and vein. Once he could push in no longer they both moaned from the feeling. The connection, the fullness, the tightness. He gave her several long strokes, all the way out and all the in, before pumping in and out of her in an even rhythm. 

They were filling the room with moans and obscene noises as they kissed and nipped at each other's skin. Like him being inside her wasn’t enough, they wished to be closer than humanly possible. Alma looked down between them to see him thrusting inside her and the erotic sight made her body hot. Her stomach muscles began to tighten and Bill closed the gap between them when felt that tension around him. He was ready but he kept up his pace so that she could come with him and he could tell she was so close. He ran his right hand down her leg and hooked it around her knee to prop it up creating more room for him to push deeper. Alma’s breath hitched at the feeling, she took his face into her hands so that he would look at her. The eye contact and the friction of their bodies linked together sent them over the edge. They came hard together. Barely able to catch a breath between their thumping hearts and residual moans. Their bodies felt amazing from what they could do to each other. 

….

It was early dawn when Bill awoke to Alma ending a hushed phone call and walking about the suite. He rubbed his tired eyes and stretched his long naked body still under the sheets. He reached towards the nightstand next to him to take a cigarette out of his pack. When he snapped his gold zippo lighter shut Alma appeared at the bedroom threshold half-dressed only wearing a cropped black Sonic Youth tee over red strappy bikini panties and long white socks. 

“You’re awake?” Alma said, surprised. 

Bill lifted a brow as he puffed on his cigarette. Before they went to bed after another bout of a more tender kind of lovemaking he imagined that when he woke up she’d still be next to him naked for a slow-to-rise kind of morning sex. 

“Yeah? I heard you hang up the phone.” When he said that he noticed her eyes gazed away from him. “You wanna smoke?” He said, trying to pull her eyes towards him again so that he could read them. There was something there when she did but he still didn’t know what exactly and he felt himself beginning to become frustrated. 

“I’m okay. I quit, it’s been a while now,” she said sitting at the edge of bed next to him. 

Somehow that annoyed him even more. So he took one last puff and stubbed it out on the hotel ashtray. He sat up, leaning against the headboard and placing his hand idly by his crotch. 

“Alma-” He bit his lip, stopping himself before his tone could take on too much of an edge. “Who were you talking to on the phone? And yesterday-” 

“I was talking to the owner of the record store just now,” she said quickly. Yet still, she couldn’t look at him. There was something wrong. “You know I have work in a little bit but I can just go and then take the rest of the day off after? I have to make sure things are okay first.” 

Things, he thought to himself again. He knew with the money they made at Trigger Finger she technically didn’t have to work, she was choosing to. If she hadn’t taken up night school in Seattle she could come back to New York and never had to work again. He knew she had more than a few reasons for not wanting to come back to New York but the city was so big she could find an area that felt like somewhere else easily. Alma peered at him through her hair and noticed he was watching the way she picked at her cuticles nervously. 

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry Alma… I just don’t think that’s true?” 

“What?” She looked at him shocked, nearly offended he would even voice his distrust. Though maybe he had reason to, she thought to herself. 

“Something’s been off since I got here, frankly. The phone call during the show? You woke me up because you were on the phone at 5 a.m.? You even checked me for a fucking wire as soon as I was alone with you!” 

Alma sneered, shaking her head. “Oh for fucks sake!” She said getting up and leaving the room. 

“Alma!” He shouted, swiftly jumping up out of bed, frantically digging in his suitcase for a pair of boxer briefs and a black shirt. “Don’t you leave!” He said stepping into his underwear and quickly walking out of the bedroom as he pulled the shirt on. He nearly bumped into her when he met her in the living area. 

“Who were you on the phone with, Alma?” He said grabbing her arm so that she would look at him but instead, she pushed him off. 

“You’re fucking crazy!” 

“Is it the police? The feds? The fucking DEA?” He shouted, his eyes still trying to meet hers as she looked everywhere but him.

“I can’t fucking believe you right now!? After everything we’ve been through you think I’ve turned into a narc! You’re paranoid!” She said tapping her head with her pointer finger.

“Then what are you not telling me, hmm? You’ve been acting pretty damn shifty, what the hell am I supposed to think?!” 

Alma recoiled a bit but she brushed it off by running her hands tensely through her hair. Bill watched her take a seat on the couch, blinking several times as if to keep tears at bay. Suddenly he felt awful for being selfish and accusing her of being an informer. 

“Shit,” Alma said through a deep shaky sigh. Her whole demeanor had changed, she looked on edge and petrified. “Fuck it. Could I have a cigarette?” 

Bill returned from the bedroom with his pack of smokes. He lit her cigarette and sat on the coffee table in front of her. They were silent for a moment while she took a couple of puffs and rubbed her tired eyes. 

“I don’t know how to say this?” Alma said gazing at the ember at the end of her cig. “I um,” she sighed trying to find the right words. “So the last time I saw you, right?” She said finally looking at him which was a mistake because meeting his green eyes made her eyes water again. 

“Just tell me, Alma? Whatever it is. I won’t be mad.” He said putting a reassuring hand on her bare knee. 

Her anxiety-riddled heart was beating so hard against her chest. “See, I think you will?”

“What?” Bill said, pulling back confused. 

“B-but you have to understand I did this for a good reason, okay? I couldn’t bring… And you’re still into stuff in New York City i-it’s just not safe.” She said jumbled and stubbed out her cigarette. “You know what we did, Bill. It’s just not safe!” 

“I understand why you wouldn’t want to come back, especially after something like that. Okay, but that was on me. Joey Russo and I have been on good terms since he’s taken over. Everyone’s turned over a leaf and we’ve forgotten about Cr- him. Nothing will happen to you there.”

Alma shook her head. “I’m not worried about myself…” she said, putting a hand to the middle of her chest. “Bill…” her voice cracked. Before he could wipe the tears that had rolled down her cheeks she put her hands up stopping him. “Wait. The last time I was with you I-” she closed her eyes. “I got pregnant.” 

Suddenly Bill couldn’t breathe and the walls felt like they were closing in. There was a loud ringing in his ears and he was certain his heart went into arrest. Alma grabbed his hand when she noticed he looked a bit faint. Her touch brought him back but his heart was beating erratically. 

He took his hand away from hers. “Are you saying?” He stood up and paced in front of her trying to collect the thoughts of his racing mind with his hands clasped behind his head. “That you? What the fuck?!” 

“Bill, I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I was just so scared… and my head was still so fucked up then. I just did what I knew how and ran. I understand if you’re angry with me but don’t be mad at the baby.” She said wiping tears that wouldn’t stop running down her cheeks. 

“The baby!?” He said still unable to believe what he was hearing. “Alma why? Why would you keep this from me?!” He cried sitting defeatedly on the other end of the couch and buried his face into his hands. 

“Bill… I know you probably hate me now. And you don’t have to say anything and you don’t have to see me ever again after this but could you just let me explain? So even if you don’t want to see the baby you at least know? Could I at least give you that?” 

~~~

May 1991 

Ulyssa came over to Alma’s apartment bringing her soup after she had called in sick believing she had a stomach bug. She had felt awful these past few weeks but this day and the night before she had been throwing up anything she ate. Even on an empty stomach, she would heave, making her stomach muscles sore and her throat burn from the stomach acid. Ulyssa had become a good friend during her time in Seattle. She could seem quite serious because of the way she dressed and had a buzzcut and a bullring in her nose but she had a sweet pure soul. She was artistic and she always saw the good in people which Alma had seen people take advantage of but even when she realized she would still wish those people well. 

Alma opened the door wrapped in a duvet hardly having the strength to greet her. Ulyssa pushed her along back to the couch so that she could continue to relax and fight whatever ailed her. 

“I brought wedding soup and plain chicken and rice from the pizzeria,” she announced from the kitchen as she set the takeout on the counter. “Ash gave me some of her custom tea blends and insisted I make you some.” She walked back to the living room pulling two VHS tapes from her tote bag and holding them out in front of Alma who looked like a miserable lump on the couch. “I stopped at the video store on the way. Mermaids or Uncle Buck?” 

“You pick,” Alma said groggily.

“Okay… Mermaids it is. Maybe Cher will cheer you up,” she said, taking the VHS and putting it into the VCR player. “I’m going back to the kitchen to fix you up!” 

Ulyssa doted on her while she lay there hardly following the movie. She finally sat up to drink the tea Ash had sent with her. It tasted like peppermint and camomile and that helped settle her empty stomach and warmed her up. The reprieve was short-lived when Ulyssa set a bowl of soup and a plate of shredded chicken breast atop white rice. She ate a few bites of the chicken and rice and a few spoons of soup when suddenly something smelled off and it made her stomach churn. Ulyssa watched Alma pick up the bowl of soup to sniff it and set it down and then the plate and noticed that she recoiled and suddenly looked green. She nearly tossed the plate down on the coffee table as she got up and ran to her bathroom to throw up the only food she had eaten all day. Ulyssa quickly followed her and held her long dark hair back until she finished. She helped her back up and closed the toilet lid so that Alma could sit down and collect herself and gargle some mouthwash.

“Sorry,” Alma apologized. “I appreciate you coming here to help me. Just something didn’t smell right.” 

“You don't have to apologize. You’re only human. But the food was fresh? I saw Von make the chicken to order?” She then placed the back of her hand against Alma’s forehead checking her temperature. “Hmm. You’re not warm? And you don’t exactly look clammy?” 

“I just can’t keep anything down,” Alma shrugged. 

“And the smell of the perfectly fresh food made you sick? When was the last time you had a period?” 

“Ulyssa, what are you getting at?” 

“Well, didn’t you go see your boy… friend in NYC like two, three-ish months ago?” 

“Stop… it’s not that I’m on birth control.” 

“Right. But when you had that wicked cold before you went on your trip you went to the doctor? Did he give you antibiotics?” 

“Yeah, I was really sick that time. I had the whole fever and runny nose and everything then but this feels worse.”

“Alma,” Ulyssa gasped. “You’re not supposed to do that!”

“What do you mean?!” 

“You can’t take the pill and antibiotics! They like cancel each other out or whatever! You’re supposed to tell your doctor what other stuff you’re taking so they can prescribe you appropriately.”

“What the hell!? I didn’t know. But I can’t be… pregnant,” she exclaimed with disgust. “Like that literally just can NOT happen!” 

“Well… I don’t know Alma. You might be? Unless you have some other medical issue-”

“No. Nothing like that! Like this just can’t happen… ethically!” Alma said, exasperated at the whole situation. 

“There’s only one way to know,” Ulyssa took her hand and together they rushed to the drug store and back. 

Alma felt like she was going to be sick again as she waited in the living room as Ulyssa stayed in the bathroom monitoring the results of the test. She heard the bathroom door open and she anxiously turned around. Her stomach dropped immediately when she saw Ulyssa smiling, wiping away tears of joy for her friend's new blessing. 

It was Ulyssa who supported her every step of her pregnancy. She would have respected any decision she had made in regard to keeping the baby but she was so happy to learn that she’d be able to take her to appointments and remind her to take her prenatals. She didn’t judge her when Alma explained that she didn’t want Bill involved. Her simple explanation that things were just complicated between them sufficed. It was nice to have her but sometimes her sunny disposition annoyed her. She wanted someone to tell her she was a dumbass. So one night after working on her feet and feeling miserable she called Cooch. Bianca always had a weird sixth sense about things and when she answered, it was as if she already knew before Alma could even explain. 

“Well, I knew it! I had a dream about you! It was a good one and I was gonna tell Bill thinking he’d get a kick out of it but you know I looked at him that day and… the pieces of the dream fell together and I just had this feeling. Oh my god, Alma! You have to tell him! It’s his baby too, honey.” 

“Bianca, I can’t. Please, please don’t tell him! Like on my whole life, please! You understand why I can’t.” 

“Okay,” Bianca sighed. “I get the jist of why. But honey, you’re just gonna do it alone? That’s not very fair to the baby, now is it? Bill would probably shit bricks knowing you’re pregnant but he would love that child.” 

Alma began to cry hysterically on the phone while Bianca tried to settle her down. She was right but she was so afraid to go back to New York City and she knew Bill would want her there if he knew about her condition. Sure, she had visited just fine but the baby would add to her permanence there. 

“Alma, I won’t tell. Okay? Sadness isn’t good on the baby so take care of yourself, you know best.” Bianca assured. “But Alma, I’m going to push him to visit you. I don’t know when we’ll finish all this ownership paperwork but for him and you, that’s what I’ll do. I love you both. I want this to all work out for the both of you.” 

Alma had wished that their conversation went differently but it’s what she needed to hear, she supposed. She continued on, growing bigger and bigger. One night she was on a phone call laughing along with Bill when she first felt the baby kick. She gasped, bringing a hand to her belly in awe. She hung up on him, feeling tears welling up in her eyes as she held onto her belly and it all hit her that she was really carrying a child within her. During the first half of her pregnancy, she just felt like a walking science experiment even if she had seen the amorphous being in her first black and white ultrasound feeling the baby move finally made it real. 

Her employees created a small baby shower at the record shop for her. They all chipped in for cake and ice cream for her which Alma felt bad about because she was more well-off than they were but they didn’t know that. They gifted her diapers and various essentials meanwhile Ulyssa had made her hand raw and sore by all the baby beanies she crocheted. They were all gender-neutral tones, Alma had decided that she didn’t want to know the sex. In some ways, she still felt detached. Later she would know it was because she didn’t want to enjoy certain milestones too much if Bill wasn’t there to experience it with her. A way of punishing herself because no one seemed to want to berate a pregnant woman for her decisions. Nevertheless, she was grateful to her work family and tried to stay happy enough for the baby. 

The feelings of detachment she felt washed away when she delivered her child. A long, hard 26-hour labor. Her nurses pleaded with her to at least take the pain medication in place of the epidural she denied, as they watched her arduously breathe and sweat through contractions. She denied those too. She thought she deserved the pain for the things she had done. For the greatest sin, a person could commit. She almost succumbed to a violent near death herself but that was merciful compared to how it felt pushing her baby out of herself. Ulyssa was by her side even though Alma told her that she wanted to be alone at first. Her mom was gone and Bill didn’t know he was about to be father, they were the only two people she would have wanted in the room. She gave in around 13 hours just to have someone hold her hand. 

Having the child in her arms pushed some of those loathsome and lonesome feelings aside. She couldn’t believe she could love something so much in a matter of seconds, it was overwhelming. She didn’t feel like she deserved to have such a precious innocent life in her arms but she knew she would keep them safe and love them. She couldn’t help but notice all the features the baby inherited from Bill. The light brown hair, the perfect plump lips, and the little but big ears he has. 

While raising a newborn was hard, some things were just instinctually easy. She took time off work for 5 months but she would sometimes visit the shop when she would go out so that the baby could get some fresh air. It was also because she was starting to feel cooped up in the apartment most days. Ulyssa or Ash would visit when they could to give her a break for a shower or take her and the baby's clothes to get laundered. A few weeks after she gave birth Bianca called about the child. She had told her, her due date during an earlier phone call and knew she should have had the baby by now. They spoke a bit and Alma had asked for some baby advice from her, she knew she was a good mom to grown respectful boys. 

“And don’t worry Alma,” Bianca said before the call concluded. “He doesn’t know, I haven’t said a word. But remember what I told you?” 

“I know… and I do want him to visit me eventually. I don’t know how long I can keep this to myself? I talk to him on the phone but when the baby cries I have to hang up on him and yeah…” she frowned. 

It was exhausting taking care of a baby while also keeping up a lie. A very big lie from someone she loved. From someone she shared a child with. Although, if he did come to Seattle she couldn’t just bombard him with the news by handing him a child he’s never seen before in his life. Expecting him to immediately step into the role of a father of a child he may ultimately not want anything to do with. It didn’t matter how much he loved her, that he even killed for her. She couldn’t even share this part of her, this part of them with him. 

And then the day finally came. Bill had flown into Seattle to finally visit. Bianca had called her job now that she was back to working in the record shop. The baby was crawling around in a playpen situated next to her behind the office desk. The babysitter was Ulyssa’s more studious and nerdy twin sister Yolani, She picked up the child until around 10 AM most days so the baby would come to work with her for an hour as she opened the store. But because she had a half day she arranged to keep her until the evening because of the show that night. That was until Bianca informed her that Bill wasn’t far away. Alma’s heart jumped in a panic; she suspected that she would have more of a heads up but Bill hadn’t told her when he left Missouri, instead, he called her from the airport payphone when he arrived. 

Immediately, Alma made a phone call to Yolani apologizing for asking her to make changes to their agreed schedule today. Yolani informed her that since she was on a later schedule she had taken herself to a cafe for breakfast to study for an exam but that she could be there in close to 30 minutes. It would do, she had no idea where Bill was at the moment so she hoped that it was more than enough time. 

In the meantime, she checked the baby's diaper bag even though it was always packed with what was needed but her nerves were starting to get the better of her. 

“Ulyssa?” Alma called out of her office when she saw her pass by the office door. She reversed her tracks and walked in. “Your sister is coming to get the baby early today. Um, my boy- um Bill,” she took off her glasses and tensely rubbed the bridge of her nose and put them back on. “He’s here.”

“What?! On his way or…” 

“No, here in Seattle.” 

“You know what? Someone called and hung up in my face again. It was a man’s voice asking for you like about 40 minutes ago…” 

“Oh my god,” Alma sighed. “Your sister said she could be here in like 30 minutes,” she reached into the playpen picking up her child and kissing them on the cheek. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll call her and tell her it’s urgent. I’ll explain enough to her. But tonight? She’ll have to keep the baby overnight then, right?”

“I’ll pay her extra. Or whatever she wants. Thank you Ulyssa. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me,” her vision blurred as tears prickled her eyes. 

“Of course, lovely! I’ll have Gregory put the playpen in the stage storage. And if he comes while baby is still here we’ll slow him down.” 

Alma waited with the baby in her arms by the front of the record shop. Watching cars pull up by the curb and checking for familiar faces but the teens bullshitting outside blocked half her view. By luck, Yolani arrived quickly thanks to her sister's call. Alma apologized and thanked her in the same breath. She watched Yolani and the baby leave her office after she had grabbed the baby bag. Staying behind she took baby pictures off her desk and put them into a lockable desk drawer then her breath hitched when she saw the familiar tall man walk in as they left. She couldn’t breathe for what felt like forever when she had seen him acknowledge the baby as they reached out and waved their little hand. As if they both knew. 

~~~

September 1992

Bill sat silently, shell-shocked with what he had heard. His feelings were all over the place despondent and angry and just confused over everything Alma revealed to him. She sat on the opposite side of the couch sunken into herself wiping away tears. She wondered if he would speak now after he had sat mute the whole time she spoke but he just sighed and put his face into his hands again. The air felt thick and the cold blasting AC was deafening in the room. 

“I’ll leave,” she said silently. “I know… this is a lot. I was very wrong, I know.” 

Bill muttered something into the palms of his hands that was unintelligible. 

“I couldn’t hear you,” Alma said, leaning towards him. 

“And where is the baby now?” 

“With the babysitter, well the call I had during the show was from Yolani. Something came up and so Ulyssa, her twin, left and took over for her. This morning I called my apartment where Ulyssa stayed overnight.” 

Bill scratched his jaw, “What did we have?” 

“A girl,” Alma bit her lip to keep it from quivering. “A little girl. She’s healthy, perfect.” Alma could have gone on and on about how she was a sweet, friendly, and happy baby but she didn’t want to pile on so much because she had restricted him from ever knowing that. “Do you want to know her name,” she asked cautiously. 

Bill swallowed the lump in his throat. “No. I-I don’t think I’m there yet.” 

“Okay,” Alma nodded understandingly. She took a notepad and pen from the coffee table and scribbled her address on it. “I have to go home. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to or if you’re not ready but, um,” she paused to keep her voice from breaking. “If you leave, could you at least call and tell me? So that I can know that this is done?” She wiped the stray tears that fell away. 

She got up and quickly put on her pants and Converse sniffling as she did it. Bill just sat there on the couch staring a hole into the wooden coffee table and unmoving. Alma along with her tote bag was just about to walk out of the hotel room and paused when he called her name. 

“Alma,” he said, still staring at the coffee table. “I love you.” He announced to the living room as if he were only saying it to remind himself that he really did. 

She smiled sadly and before she left she said, “I know…” 

…

Bill sat silently for an hour, his mind was vacant for at least half that until he started to review everything Alma had explained over and over again in his head. He just couldn’t believe she would have kept something so major, something so important, something so life-changing from him. All the mixed feelings of betrayal and sadness and anger and disgust made him sick but something else was there he didn’t expect. It was happiness, he felt a new brand of pride knowing that he was a father. He never imagined being one, he hadn’t ever put much thought into it before. The thoughts he did have weren’t fond takes of fatherhood either. He was afraid he wouldn’t make a very good one. Plus, it didn’t help that he didn’t really like his own very much. His father used to beat him and his brothers especially him because he dressed like a freak as his father would say. That or a sissy boy which he was called since he was a little himself. He ran a hand through his hair trying to wish those awful memories away. 

Soon he found himself in the scalding hot shower standing with his back towards the stream with his head down sulking. He had no idea what to do with himself, he stood there for almost an hour just thinking and remembering things he’d rather not. In a way, he understood Alma’s motivations. She was deeply depressed and guarded when the incident with Craig happened. He could imagine it was difficult that the only person she could even talk to about it was him but their distance made it impossible. Even when she had last visited him in New York City she hardly wanted to unpack it. He could tell it was still bothering her deeply. He didn’t like what he had done either but knowing that Craig had almost killed her he didn’t really care as much as she did. When she did open up a little, she said the part that mostly bothered her was that in a small way, she was ready to die. And he blamed that on himself for what he had put her through. Giving her the runaround and not properly loving her like he should have. He wanted to but was too much of a coward wanting all the benefits of her company without commitment. They still hardly ever called each other boyfriend or girlfriend. He was selfish. But so was Alma. She kept a piece of him he couldn’t take away from her.

He found himself at the hotel restaurant dressed simply in a white shirt and dark jeans and keeping to himself. When the waitress asked if he’d like the mimosa drink special he shook his head and asked for a glass of William Larue Weller whiskey neat instead. He ordered a veggie omelet that he only took 2 bites of and asked for the rest to be sent to his room. He didn’t have an appetite. Instead, he went to the large bar in the main hall which was barely opening for service so early in the morning. On his third whiskey, he began making a mental con list in his head of why he couldn’t be a father to a little girl. He owned a strip club for starters, he was a former drug dealer, he was a womanizer to some degree, oh and he’s killed someone and was indirectly involved in another. He shouldn’t be a father, he should be in prison, he had thought to himself. 

Bill stretched his back against the high chair he was sitting in and ordered another whiskey. He stood up with the glass in hand to take back to his room waving off the protests of the bartender for doing so. He set the glass aside on the nightstand while sitting on the edge of the bed that housekeeping had fixed for him while he was gone. Putting a cigarette to his lips, he leaned against the headboard and lit it. He sighed out a plume of smoke in thought. Thinking how Alma had mentioned that she did what she did to keep the baby safe. Though he knew what she meant he couldn’t help but think that she meant safe from him. He shook his head, the liquor was muddling his thoughts and misconstruing things for him. 

He took his thoughts off himself then. He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling and pictured Alma as a mother. Such an odd image because much like him she never expressed feelings of wanting children either. Although he had to admit to himself that the image warmed his heart. A quick thought of her pregnant body came to mind but he pushed that away because they became filthy and he wasn’t in the mood to think of her that way. Though she never expressed wanting kids he never heard her say anything bad about them either. Had she stayed in New York, would she have kept the baby, he wondered. If they were the traditional type maybe things wouldn't have been so convoluted as it was right now. 

The only certain thing was that Alma was pregnant and never told him and now he had a daughter. One that didn’t know he existed her whole short life. One that he didn’t know existed until about three hours ago. He stubbed his cigarette out and downed the rest of his whiskey before settling into the bed. He was tired of thinking and the whisky was making him tired. Luckily, before his eyes grew heavy he came to a conclusion. 

…

Alma was in the bath with her daughter laying on her bent knees above the water washing her hair. She had no clue if Bill would come or if she’d ever see him again but in case she thought they ought to look presentable. Especially if they would meet for the first time. However, time passed and it was near evening around 4 p.m. It was drizzling outside, the overcast making it much darker than it should have been. Alma’s heart started to break a little, not for herself but for their daughter. 

But she couldn’t blame him either. She was tired of crying though, she had done what she had done and said what she needed to say. He knew now and she could stop lying. The lying was the worst part for her. That part was done whether Bill and her were done she still didn’t know but she hoped he would call like she asked. While the baby was sitting in her chair swing she left a moment to the hallway closet to grab the box of baby mementos just in case. 

…

Bill awoke suddenly from his slumber. He hadn’t intended to fall asleep but he was kind of glad he did because he woke up with a clearer mind than before that was for sure. He checked the time on his watch, noticing how long he had slept. He stood up quickly, he knew Alma must be sitting in her home waiting for his call, more likely considering he slept half the day. After brushing his teeth and fixing his hair he walked to the living room and tore the piece of paper which Alma had written her address from the notepad. 

He pulled up to the small apartment complex which looked more like a large house divided into 4 apartments, two on the top and two on the bottom. He checked the paper with her address once more and saw that she lived in apartment 1B. His heart started racing, he knew once he stepped through that door his life was going to change and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. But he couldn’t live with not knowing either. 

He pulled his black unzipped hoodie closer to his body and knocked on the door quite hard at first by accident and quickly corrected himself remembering there was a baby inside. Alma opened the door alone standing there in a white Adidas sweatshirt commemorating the 1984 Winter Olympics and black leggings. Her glasses weren't on and her hair was half up. Alma looked a bit shocked to see him standing there but quickly let him in. 

“Thanks for coming by,” she said sheepishly, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater. “Um, the baby is taking a nap right now, that's why she’s not out crawling around or trying to walk,” she lightly smiled. 

“Mhm,” Bill nodded. “I thought about it some and I think I do want to meet her. I mean when she wakes up.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Alma nodded. 

She pointed at the couch inviting him to sit with her. It was a bit awkward between them but not anything they couldn’t work out of. Before she could sit down, she thought to maybe give him something to drink so she grabbed two bottles of water from her fridge. He sat there looking around her apartment, there was obvious evidence that there was a baby living in the home with the chair swing and little toys inside a chest. He also noticed that while everything was nice and neat she didn’t seem to live beyond the means she certainly had. It was a humble dwelling. A place to lay your head at night comfortably. 

She came back to join him, handing him a water. She could feel the tension in the room and it unsettled her having that feeling in her own home but she pushed those nerves aside. 

“So I can imagine you might have a lot of questions,” she began. “But I want to make sure how much I can say because I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t expect you to jump into this full speed and I’ve accepted that you might not want to at all.” 

“Alma, I want to be around,” he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don’t know how often that may be because of the distance but I-I want to know her.” When he said it out loud he truly felt it. Though he had doubts about himself being a father, he wanted to at least try. “I’ll figure everything else out later but right now this is what I want to do.” 

A wash of relief and happiness fell over Alma. She felt like she could finally breathe. Though things between them would probably be prickly for a while she was glad they could put it aside for their daughter.

“I have this box full of baby things,” she said, reaching for it on the coffee table in front of them and lifting the lid off. “Would you like to go through this while she sleeps?” 

She pulled a few things out which looked like photo albums and newborn clothing and then grabbed a manilla folder and opened it, inside were her ultrasound pictures. She handed one to him and he carefully took it in his hands. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at. Until Alma pointed at a white speck near the center of the photo. 

“That’s what she looked like in the beginning,” she lightly laughed. “And then she eventually grew into her looks,” she said, passing him another ultrasound photo with a clear profile of the baby that grew inside her. 

He traced his finger along it now wondering what she looked like now. She told him that she was a fairly big baby at birth and really long which made him smile but kind of made him feel for Alma giving birth naturally. She handed him the newborn clothes that the baby wore in the hospital and he could help but notice how big his own hands were compared to the small garments. 

“Alma, can I ask you something,” he said, laying the little onesie on his thigh. 

“Of course.”

“Yesterday, when I first showed up to the record shop. I saw her, didn't I?” 

“Yeah, that was her with her babysitter Yolani walking past you.” 

Bill rubbed his hand across his mouth blinking back tears. He remembered the baby’s outstretched hand in his direction and some part of him felt something but he hadn’t paid attention to it then. 

“We can take a break if you want,” she asked. 

“No, it’s fine,” he cleared his throat. “I’m fine. What did you name her?”

And that’s when Alma started blinking back tears of her own. She took a deep breath to collect herself. “Her name is Echo.” 

“Oh,” Bill choked up. 

“Yeah, um it’s Echo Myrna. I figured I should give her a middle name for someone that you’ve loved in your life, too. And well, you kinda named me Echo too.”

Bill put his arm around her and hugged her tightly. He knew better than to think that while she never told him about their daughter she always still had him in mind. They were in an embrace for a long while when he told her that he loved her and she said it back. Because they did even if they were both fucked up, they were all they had. 

They could hear cheery baby babble from the next room. Echo was finally awake. 

“Do you want to meet her?” 

“Yeah, should I follow you or?” He said beginning to feel nervous.

“Yeah come on. She is a good sleeper, a lot better than us for sure. And she never wakes up grumpy, only sometimes when she’s hungry,” Alma lightly laughed. 

Baby Echo was standing in her crib, smiling happily when she saw her mother walk in. Alma felt Bill let go of her hand a few paces behind her but she didn’t think anything wrong by it. She could feel his hand trembling in hers going to the bedroom so she knew it was because of nerves. She reached into the crib and lifted Echo out, smoothing her bed hair down. Echo reached for him the same way she had done at the record shop and smiled brightly at him this time. 

“Would you want to hold her?” 

“Hmm, I’m not sure,” he said, wringing his sweaty hands together and putting them into the pockets of his hoodie. 

Alma nodded understandingly. She knew she had to be mindful and go at his own pace but she wished he had said yes. “Let's go back to the living room. I need to make her a bottle.” 

Bill sat on the couch and watched Alma hold their daughter in one arm while the other scooped powdered formula and put it into a water-filled baby bottle. He noticed how Echo rested her head in the crook of her mother's neck, content while sucking her little thumb. His heart strained noticing how much she really did look like him especially now that he finally decided to look through a small photo album. Her newborn pictures showed lighter brown hair than she did now but even if her roots had darkened some he could see the golden wavey locks on the ends when they had joined him on the couch again. He saw the pictures of the baby's first Christmas, she was still so tiny and fresh sitting on Alma's crossed legs under a Christmas tree as she opened a present. 

“How old is she?” He said looking at the little girl who was kicking her little feet towards him. She was gnawing on the tip of the bottle smiling at him with a curious expression on her face. 

“Nine months almost ten,” Alma smiled. “She was born on November 30th.

“She looks so small in these pictures,” he said, flipping to the next page of his daughter enjoying a day in the park. 

“I have a few rolls of film I still need to develop from this summer. She’s a very photogenic kid, kinda like you that way.” 

Echo giggled a bit as if she were actually following their conversation. Without even thinking about it, his hand reached for her little wriggling foot. He smiled at her when she giggled again because his touch seemed to have tickled her little foot. 

“Hi.” He said to her and then looked at Alma, “What should she call me?”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with. We don’t have to decide that today?” 

Bill nodded. “Could I try? Could I hold her, I mean.” 

Alma took the baby bottle from Echo before she gladly handed her to Bill who was quite obviously nervous, it was all over his face. But when she was in his arms and she placed her little hand on his chin his nervousness seemed to lessen. Echo looked up at him with big round green hazel eyes with so much familiarity it nearly frightened him. As if she knew exactly who he was. His heart warmed in a way he had never felt before, it was scary. He could only imagine how Alma felt when she had first met her. The feeling was overwhelming. 

Suddenly, Echo’s quick hand took a grasp of his nose and squeezed it making him wince. 

Alma reached over and pulled her hand away. “Echo, be nice. Sorry, she can be a little feisty but she’s friendly at least.” 

Bill laughed. “It’s okay,” he said, touching her cheek until her little hand took hold of his pointer finger. “I like her. Kinda reminds me of her mom.” 

That evening he just held her in her arms as they spoke about their daughter. When she needed tending too he stood back but watched trying to take mental notes on how she liked to be cared for. She seemed like a fairly easy baby and a very happy one. Bill decided to stay the night at her place and in the morning offered his hotel for them all to stay at and spend some time together as a family. So that he could acclimate to the reality and be with his daughter. 

When they entered the hotel, Bill brought in the bags Alma had packed along with the playpen as she walked through the place to show the baby around. She sat Echo in the center of the large king-sized bed and took the camera from inside her jacket to take a picture.

“Look at you, big fancy girl!” She said as the little girl clapped happily. 

They enjoyed the weekend and it was as if they had done this all before. A second nature came out of Bill and took over. Alma watched him place their sleeping daughter into the playpen next to their bed on the last night he was in town. When he joined Alma in bed, he kissed her deeply and pulled her on top of himself. Eventually, they lay in bed naked, discussing how to make it all work. Making solid plans to travel to each other until they could all settle somewhere. He wanted to be a better father than his dad was and while it scared him like hell he would do his best for Echo. And while he was still upset to some degree with Alma he tried to be understanding. She was just trying to protect their daughter. 

“She kinda saved me, you know. I know I shouldn’t put that on a kid but yeah she changed me.” She snuggled to the side of him. Though he only knew his daughter in only a few days he could sense what she meant by that. 

“I love you, Alma,” Bill said sleepily. “I think I’m okay with her calling me Papa. That feels right. Right?” 

The baby suddenly cried out in the middle of the night just as her parents were going to drift to sleep. Though promptly Alma got up, on her way to her daughter she picked up one of Bill’s shirts and threw it on before picking her up from the playpen. With Echo in her arms, she walked towards his side of the bed and picked up the premade bottle that sat on his nightstand. 

“It’s your turn papa,” she said, passing the baby along to him as they both laughed. 

Bill happily obliged, he had a lot of catching up to do. 

FIN

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

My sibling headcanons for DCLA characters

Of course excluding the ones we KNOW if they have siblings or not, and the ones I just assumed are only children.

Camila - We know Camila has sisters, plural. How many sisters does she have? My answer: Around 4 younger sisters. Two of them are around 2-3 years younger than her, one is 6 years younger than her and one is 12 years younger than her. Beyond that she also has a LOT of cousins. This is why her mom needs her to help out a lot.

Maxi - Maxi mentioned in the pilot that he has a brother. I think his brother is around 1-2 years younger than him.

Marco - Marco mentioned in a passing conversation he had a sister. I think he has two sisters; one older and one younger. His older sister is around 2 years older and his younger sister is 4 years younger.

Braco - Braco randomly said that he has 180 cousins in this passing scene???????? And with that many cousins I also think he must have a lot of siblings, too. His siblings are of every age from babies to almost 30.

Broduey - He seems a lot like the cool older brother, it wouldn't surprise me if he has a bunch of younger siblings who all look up to him. The oldest being maybe 5 years younger than him and the youngest being just a toddler.

Delfi - I feel like she has two younger siblings, a sister and a brother, who she thinks is super annoying if they so much as breath in the same room. But she also loves them dearly. They are 3 and 5 years younger than her.

Jazmin - Jazmin I think has a sister who I think is a year older, and then she has a half-sister who is almost 10 years younger, and who she likes to give makeup and fashion advice to.

Ramiro - he has siblings, but none of them have the same sets of two parents. He has two older half-siblings from his dad's side, a boy and girl who are twins and are 3 years older than him. His parents later divorced and his mom later had his younger half brother when he was 5. His father also remarried someone who had a kid, so now he also has a step sister who is around 1 year younger than him.

Jim - She gives off so much younger sister energy. She has a two year older sister.

Yam - She has two younger brothers who drive her nuts. They are 4 and 7 years younger than her. She always wished she had a sister, but she has a female cousin she's very close with and kind of like her sister.

Simón - Simón has the biggest middle child chaotic energy I've ever seen. He has one older sister, who is like 2-3 years older, and then he as a 3 year younger brother, 5 year younger sister and an 8 year younger brother.

Emilia - Emilia has 3 younger half siblings who are triplets. They are 9 years younger than her and she hates to have to take care of them but she also loves them. She thinks that they are annoying her at every move, but if anyone ever hurts them she will come in their defense. Emilia has punched toddlers is what I am saying.

Chiara - She has a 3 year older brother. She really gives me the "youngest sister" vibe lol.

Celeste - She has a younger sister who is around 5 years younger than her.

Basically that's all. I've probably forgotten someone.

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

Movie Distraction

Summary: Peter 2 and 3 go to see a movie only Gwen and MJ are excited to see.

(May or may not be basing this fic on a scenario with @parker-fluff and @babyparker11 mixed with the fact that Andrew Garfield confirmed he and Tobey Maguire snuck into a movie theater to watch the Spiderman movie when it was released 😁 enjoy!)

Peter 3 slumped in his seat. "How much longer does this movie have?"

"We've only been here 20 minutes Three," Two whispered. "Better settle in."

"You sound as bored as I am."

"Yep."

The only reason the two Peters had even attended the movie was due to Gwen and MJ. Both women had dying to see this new movie and had talked Peter 2 and 3 into the idea of a double date.

However, once the group had entered the theater, they could not find 4 seats together. The only seats they could find were two in the front and two in the back.

Not wanting either of the girls to miss out, 2 and 3 had offered to let them take the front two seats while they took the two in the back. Now both brothers were bored to death of the movie in front of them.

In fact, Three was almost asleep when he felt something scurry across his stomach. He squeaked quite loudly. Thankfully a particularly loud scene prevented him from disturbing anyone nearby.

Peter 2 snickered as Peter 3 straightened. The younger brother blushed and glared at Two. "Ahare you trying to gehet us kicked ohout?"

"Sohorry, I'm just bored."

Three groaned. "Whyhy did you chohose tickling mehe?"

Two shrugged. "We do it all the time."

"Yes, at home! Not in a crowded movie theater."

"Are you saying you don't want tickles?"

Three turtled.

Two smiled. "If it's too much, I won't do it again."

Three glanced between his brother and the movie. He really was bored of the movie, and tickles did sound fun . . .

Three pulled his older brother's hand to his stomach. "Just keep it too my stomach. If you goho anywhere else, Ihi will squeal."

Two grinned. "Thank you Button."

The middle brother blushed at the nickname. Meanwhile, Two's hands spidered across Three's tummy making him squeak and giggle quietly.

"Yohou're so cute Button," Two teased.

"Shuhush!"

"I can't help it, youw're toow cuwte when youw're awl bwushy and wiggwy."

Peter Three felt his cheeks and ears flame.

"Look at that blush." Peter 2's hand slipped under Three's shirt. "Yohou're so flustered."

"Yohou're mahaking ihit wohorse!"

"Awww, Ihim sorry."

"Dohoubt ihit."

Two grinned. "But you lohove them Button." A finger wiggled into Peter 3's belly button. "Yohou and your giggle button."

Three squeaked and wiggled even more. He felt like he was going to explode.

Suddenly, the entire theater erupted into loud laughter. Two's hands moved and a raspberry was blown into Peter 3's stomach.

The younger Peter squealed and errupted into loud laughter. As the theater died back down so did Peter 3.

"Thank goodness. Ihi thought you were going to explode," Two teased.

"Thahank yohou."

"Need a break?"

"N-noho, yohou cahan keheep gohoing . . . ihif yohou wahant."

Two smiled. "Of course Button. Want me to still get your tummy?"

Three nodded and slid his shirt up.

"Awww." Two's hand returned to Three's stomach and began to gently skitter across. "Someone just loves tummy tickles."

Peter 3 was thankful for the low lightning that hid his firey red face from view. He did love tummy tickles, they were one of his favorite spots to be tickled on.

"Hey, let me know when you need a break okay?"

Three nodded again before falling back into quiet giggles. For the rest of the movie, Two and Three had their tickling fun.

When the final credits ran, Three was a blushy giggle mess. Not wanting to embarrass him too much, Peter Two quickly pulled his younger brother's shirt back into place and smoothed his hair back down. "Come on Button, the girls are waiting for us."

"Ihim cohoming, Ihim cohoming." Peter 3 stood.

"You good?" The oldest asked.

Three nodded and took a few cautious steps forward. Peter 2 followed close behind with the half eaten bucket of popcorn and lukewarm drinks.

Two tossed the bucket and drinks before wrapping his arm around his brother. Three jumped.

"It's okay, I'm not tickling you." Two soothed. "I just don't want to loose you."

"Okay, ohokay."

"I'm sorry if I went overboard. You seemed like you were having fun though."

"Ihi was," Three nudged his older brother's shoulder. "Ihit was aha blast."

"Glad you two enjoyed the movie," a voice piped up.

The two Peters turned to find MJ and Gwen nearing them.

Gwen's eyes widened at the sight of her boyfriend. "Are you alright?"

"Yehes I'm fine." Three slipped away from Two's side to wrap his arm around her in a side hug. "Thehere was just aha good joke I loved."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "I figured you would pick up on that one. I'll never hear the end of it now."

"Hohow would you know?"

"Becauhause I know you." Gwen teased and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss.

Meanwhile, MJ took in Three's blushy face, slightly uneven breathing, and giggly smile. "That wasn't the work of a joke," she whispered to her husband. "This was the work of Papa tickle monster."

"What did you expect? We were bored out of our minds," Two whispered back while a smile pulled at his lips.

"Ihi figured," MJ wrapped her arms around her husband's arm. "Atleast you two had fun."

"Come on you two lovebirds," Gwen teased. "Let's get going. Traffic's going to be awful."

And with that, the group headed home. Although, Gwen could never understand her boyfriend's love for the movie theater.

[nani-nonny]

I swear nonny am about to go to your house and enter just to ask you; WHY YOU MADE IT SO SHORT?!?!?!/HJ

Ngl, i was watching gameplay of video game call " ghost trick " until i got email notification about your " am blue " it took me half minute to realize it's; 1- from you. 2- it's " I'm blue " fic 💙💙💙💙.

I start reading and what else?! Mf Old timer strick again with LCD, am.so close to tackle that mf to STOP BULLYING HIM!! He had enough!/j

Like the cry bullied baby he is, LCD leaves immediately to his tent to cry leaving the big boys to talk.

Blue chewing the jerky reminded me of that one obnoxious kid who chew gum just so he doesn't focus on the lecture in classroom 🤣

When DMD asked old timer why he get called old timer i felt; 1- bruh moment because " old timer = old as fuck ". 2- What if LCD's turn came up?!? ( now idk what i must get worried about?! LCD get exposed to the rest of the leos or WDS's fic end & bishop... Nani you're torturing me).

So back to the name choosing and no lies or disrespect? I feel you took half of chapter describing what old timer feels whe he got asked the question 😂 it made me think " yo nani are you trying to skip or give little details in the fic?! Answer me! " 🤣

After 24 years, old timer finally answer with he's obviously older which wants me to pull the " you don't say " meme xD

Then here comes the age reveling where i get to know REUNION IS 61!! AFTER THAT IS DMD WITH 49 And WDS is 44 and i bet you money on it; LCD is the youngest!! I just know it!! (Which make it more funny because the middle kids are gonna bully the youngest for begin a killer)

Reunion's Audacity calling them " children " made me laugh, imagine his old ass whenever he regroup with them he say " okay kids/children... " or " kids that's enough " 🤣🤣

And then he turns to LCD's tent and called him out remind me of mom when she says " you're (name doing something) tomorrow " which DOESN'T help me sleep at all.

It would be funny if LCD wasn't sleep but after hearing Reunion's order he REALLY isn't getting any sleep LOL.

AND THEN THE BIG STUFF HAPPENS!! My dude slips and admits he didn't win the war on his first try and man oh man!! He cracked some gears into the two (who knows maybe 3 if LCD wasn't sleep).

And then dipped and left like a dad announcing he's going to get the milk.

Leaving DMD & WDS, am sure WDS WANTS to share about his ghost brothers but after knowing DMD lost everyone... Yeah he said nope to that, NANI YOU'RE TORTURING THEM!!!

Hahahaha! All I’m Blue chapters are about 1-2k words long heheh

Also, you have me on your notifs? :((( thank you /pos

Achilles(LCD) just makes it so easy for Old Timer (Reunion) to tease him. /j Old Timer’s totally not trying to see where Achilles’s limits are so that he knows where are the good places to step in a field of metaphorical landmines /hj

“Nani you’re torturing me” I’m not trying to :) /t

Old Timer is a sentimental old man whose therapist told him it was okay to take a moment to himself to think long and hard. And he’s trying not to spill too much about himself, so he has to take a moment to think or he’ll say too much, as seen at the end of the chapter :)

Yess!!! Age reveal! Old Timer is the oldest at 61, Barbarian (DMD) is 49 (I thought a lot about what his age is and nearly made him 53 because it made more sense for the DMD fic but he also greatly exaggerated his age in his fic so… *shrugs*), and Big Blue (WDS) is the youngest at 44 (he’s currently 1 or 2 years younger in his fic at the moment).

Old Timer’s original age was going to be 70, but I cut him some slack and reminded myself that he’s not that old, I’m unconsciously trying to make fun of him. But he does have some elder rights to call them children, they are almost 2 decades younger than him hahaha

And it would be funny if Achilles (LCD) was awake through it all *sweats and runs away*

And oh how the mighty have fallen! Old Timer slips up his words and spills more than he would have liked hahaha! He really kicked into high gear and left as quickly as he could, can’t risk spilling more beans!

“Nani you’re torturing them!!” Nuh uh /t

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

okay so a little bit ago i was asking for people's ideas on the cornley character's birth order positions (thank you to those who contributed). i'm still wildly unsure of quite a few, and because of that, i'm going to talk through my thinking processes for each right now, because that helps me out.

chris: probably one of the hardest because i can see him as an oldest, youngest OR only child. like all of them make sense to me. the oldest/only child vibe of trying to live up to parents expectations vs the youngest child always in the older siblings shadow vibe. i cannot make up my mind. if he's the youngest, then it's an older brother for sure, if he's the oldest i have no idea.

robert: youngest or middle, i see him with two siblings. one's definitely a sister (the one chris was with in accgw — she's the one who could be older or younger than him) but i'm not decided on the other one (lucy's parent). logically given that lucy's last name is grove, it would make sense for it to be robert's brother (given that's usually how names work in our society), but it's not impossible for it to be a sister, and that has a specific vibe that could relate to family stuff for robert (feeling like he has to "be a man" from his father etc)

max: almost fully certain on him being an only child, but i keep on getting the urge to give him a little sister, just because i think it'd be cute.

sandra: definitely the youngest. i also imagine her having at least three siblings (maybe more). i am stuck between her having all older sisters (that desire to prove herself and outshine her perfect sisters) or all older brothers ("mummy's little princess" vibes, a little bit spoiled).

dennis: stuck between middle, youngest and only. i could see him as the middle child who's always forgotten/undervalued because he's not the special oldest or the cute youngest, but i also see him as having an older sibling (or siblings?) who he's constantly compared to and told "why aren't you more like them?". BUT i also see him being the only child and his parents just being disappointed in him. if he's the middle, i see him having a brother on either side. if he's the youngest, i see either one sibling (brother or sister) or two (either two brothers or one brother one sister).

annie: middle child with quite a few siblings vibes to me. probably on the older end (eg one older sibling and like three younger). this one i've always been pretty solid on, but i'm willing to reconsider this. unsure about the genders of her siblings.

jonathan: pretty solid on him too, due to headcanons i have about his family i headcanon him as an only child. i know quite a few give him a younger sister (the fanfic influence) but those roles people put on her i usually just translate to his daughter. not much else to say.

vanessa: i am the type of person who goes "identical twins" when i see two people played by the same person in a universe, so she's got a twin sister to me (bryony's receptionist in accgw). i also think she has a younger half brother.

trevor: a group of us on the mischief discord kinda came up with a solid family for trevor, and i think it fits so i'm sticking to it! second youngest out of four, two older sisters — tanya, who trevor is heard speaking to on the phone at the beginning of ppgw stage version, and tessa, who is usually just the girl version of trevor in the shows but who we have developed into her own character — and a younger brother dale, who is from trevor's twitter account.

[purpleturtle9000]

Hi I’m baaack I have a question about the reds!! How close are they?? Is there any conflict/confusion bc they’re both trying to eldest sibling everyone? Does little Raph figure out gender things earlier thanks to Red being there? Do they get hugs I hope they both get hugs they’re so wonderful

Have a lovely time of day thank you for all of your turtle posts they get me through the day <3

omg hi! my turtle posts also get me through the day tbh and i am! so glad you like them!

The reds are so close you have no idea. I am soft about them on the daily. Sometimes they argue about who has jurisdiction to scold the blue things but usually they just team up instead.

Okay first of all yes there is confusion with both of them trying to be the eldest sibilng! (Meanwhile Leonardo has been the oldest for a while and is vaguely confused by all this as well. Red died twenty-seven years ago at the age of twenty-eight, and Old Man Blue is trying not to laugh at someone half his age trying to be his big sister. He's also full of emotions and near to crying about it every day.)

Leonardo, Tello, and Angelo are all older than Red, but at least they're all still shorter than her. Can't shake up the family dynamic that much, I say, as if I haven't put them all through a fucking blender. Angelo and Tello call her their big sister anyway, cause they're nice like that. Leonardo near-exclusively calls her 'short stuff' and is closer than he realises to being flung through a wall again.

Ironically, Red herself does not take Raph seriously as a big brother. She knows that he is, for the younger turtles, but she's a decade older and three feet taller than him. She sees him as being just as small as his younger brothers. Raph is not impressed with this, being used to being the biggest and oldest.

He is impressed with how tall and spiky she is! All the boys thought they'd stopped growing, like human kids would have, and seeing everyone taller caused absolute consternation among the young turts. Especially in the case of future Mikey. Nobody will talk about future Mikey being as tall as teen Raph. It's still terrifying.

Despite Red once calling Raph 'little', and the bedlam that ensued, they get along very well! Which is also terrifying for a certain set of self-destructive blue turtles who insist they're totally fine whilst in the middle of a week-long mental breakdown. If one red turtle is scary, two red turtles are even scarier. Red is not above sitting on either Leo if he's doing something stupid.

Red's and Leonardo's definitions of 'something stupid' are very different. Leonardo does not appreciate this. It's the funniest thing Donnie's ever seen.

Apart from their mutual 'I must protect my siblings' prime directive, and the fact that they both punch things as their first plan instead of waiting for anyone else to come up with a better one, there's another big similarity! Red is also missing the same eye as Raph. (I know he's fine in canon but like. did you see the fucking tentacles coming out of his eye socket. he's missing an eye in wify.)

There's a constants-and-variables theme I'm playing at with wify, kinda, about how sometimes the same things happen under different circumstances. Mikey's portals being what saves Leonardo from dying in the future timeline and then dying in the prison dimension. Casey Jr gets a hockey stick from both versions of Casey Sr but only one of those involves her dying. Red lost her eye fighting human survivors and Raph lost his eye being mutated by the Krang.

Raph and Leo, the teen versions, have a lot to unpack about the whole thing. Leo blames himself and can't get over his part in Raph being taken. Raph thinks Leo's afraid of him, because mutant-Krang-Raph hurt him in their fight, and maybe grossed out by the extent of his injuries. Lots of angst incoming with that angle but it's gonna be fine I swear.

Raph and Red, however! Red has tips on adjusting to life with one eye, and has some extremely cool eyepatches that Angelo decorated for them. Raph gets to borrow them whenever he wants and gets his own ones too, which makes him feel a little better about it all. And it helps bridge some of the gap between him and Mikey, because Raph asks Mikey to decorate them for him.

Overall, having Red around helps him adjust and helps with his self-esteem. Not to mention that he sees someone who's managed just fine with one eye for years, and it's a huge reassurance that his life's just changed, not over. The entirety of what happened in the Krang invasion was impossible for him to deal with on his own, he needed some kind of proof that he's going to grow up to be okay after all, and that's exactly what she can give him.

Leonardo has a habit of shooing Raph off to a spa day in the Hidden City, cause holy shit does this teenager need a break. Raph brings Red along! They keep snacking on those cucumber slices that are supposed to go on their faces but nobody's brave enough to tell Red what to do. Or not to do, as the case may be. She greatly enjoys floating around in the heated pool (and creating waves with her tail to surprise-drench Raph).

Red is like nine feet tall, she's the only one who can bear hug him and pick him up off his feet. He loves it so much and there are so many piggyback rides in his future. Even if he's gotta be a little careful not to get lightly stabbed with a shell spike. He does a few times, though, oops. Casey Sr nicknamed Red 'porcupine', that oughta explain it. Donnie and Tello figure out a battle shell for Red so it's safer and they have a great time.

When Red comes out about her gender, everyone is immediately 👀 at Raph because surely he's gonna feel the same way, right? They've already had this discussion with the purples about how Donnie's always been agender but used to be less fussy about pronouns and Tello didn't switch to they/them until their thirties.

Raph has not figured this gender thing out yet. He is in denial. Red finds this totally hilarious. She doesn't say anything in front of the others, cause she doesn't want to embarrass him in front of everyone they know, but they have a talk later where she's like, "Hey did you know that wishing you were a girl for literal years is a sign that you're not a guy?" It seems very obvious to Raph when she says it like that.

(Based on Donnie calling Raph 'Raphaela' that one time, and having to figure out his own Gender Fuckery, I hc that he was unaware that this was a surprise to Raph. Donnie also finds this totally hilarious.)

Also hc that Red's mystic armour got bigger along with her and Raph finds this extremely cool! He also feels completely safe when his big sister is there all armoured up to protect him, and it's not uncommon to catch him napping in armour-Red's lap like a cat. Red will hurt you if you wake him up, you've been warned.

Red will also put the fear of pizza supreme into anyone by full-naming them from across the state. She's taller than anyone else and learned how to project her voice like for stage theatre. Raph thinks this is the funniest thing imaginable and regularly gets her to yell Leo's name just to see him run for his life. Red has yet to yell at Raph and they all assume she never will. They do meow back and forth (Casey Jr spent longer than he will admit thinking that they had a cat infestation).

[irock3veryting]

Part 2 of Half sibling mix up.

So I'm browsing on Facebook one day and realise I’ve been sent a message by the other half brother, I wouldn’t mind but he’s NEVER had anything to do with me? he sends me a msg at 4am asking me to add him to snap chat random. I stupidly do and a couple of days later he asks who I am? I then pretty much realise that he clearly was either drunk or was confused at who at that time in the morning who he had messaged. 

I believe he had to follow it through and then pretended to want something to do with me he then spent some months talking about how we should meet we also exchanged mob numbers. We were at the time in the middle of a pandemic so I really didn’t understand why anyone was wanting to meet up? They live at least 1hour or more away so I was a bit confused as to why we should all of a sudden meet but as I'm about to disclose I realised once again but this time by the other brother I was going to be taken for a ride. 

The two of them came up meet me and my family and we went to my home where I lived with my mum. upon arrival this guy starts a convo about remembering me when I was a little girl, I was like excuse you my dear you are younger then me! how can someone tell a story about MY christening and how they were in the car when they weren’t even born until another 4 years! clearly the mum had prep him up to say such nonsense. As we sat down it was just a long convo between him and my mum the other one who is suppose to be the oldest out of them who doesn’t know how to communicate sits there doesn’t say a single word to me the entire time.

Time started to pass and my belly was rumbling so we went back to my Grans house where they meet us first, on the way there mum took them round the long way back to see my area she told me to call the older one as I was calling his phone it kept ringing and ringing no answer? As to my surprise the guy had once again changed his number and had the audacity to come down and knowing of his sheer ignorance still doing the same things of the past. I just remember glaring at him across the table of my family home and thinking if he thinks I'm going to continue to be treated like this he can think again! 

We had dinner and my cousin who was also down decided to take pictures I just want to add I took photos of them on my phone they had their phones and didn’t once take a single photo of me! they then both asked for it to be sent to them and here is when mr ignorant has to confess ‘Oh I have a different number’ what a surprise, oh shock. In a different convo my cousin then says my  boy cousin whom I'm close with, that it would be good idea if they all meet him. He sat there and says ‘ Wait who’s, (my cousin’s name)’ all I thought as I sat there was someone I will never let you meet, if I could help it! The way he had treated me I don’t think so I'm very protective over my family on this side plus he is the only thing close to a brother to me.

After a few hours they ate and left, I heard from them from time to time, the one who wanted to meet kept falsely advertising to come up and never showed up and when myself and my mum said we would come down he then put up a front and talked about ‘Oh no, I'll come down’ I didn’t mind if they never wanted to meet again but it was the lies that kept being told.

One day after the queen’s jubilee after the one who arranged to meet, had once again called me to meet lied again. I found myself sending a text telling him stop arranging to falsely meet this guy was as nasty but yet big mouthed as the ignorant one, he starts bringing up personal things about me in argument and then had the audacity to say I'm not here to argue. Before this argument this guy had the nerve to call me and before hand text me telling me how his girlfriend and himself were looking at houses in my area, 6 mins away to be precise. So there it is the real reason you wanted to meet not because you wanted to meet me, he also ran his mouth so much he said how his mum also wanted to move, that's funny if you’ve never been to an area before why would you be moving here? 

I briefly spoke to him after this wishing him a happy birthday as I wasn’t brought up the same way as him and also wished the other his which is a month after. The ignorant one then decided because one day when he text me after I had worked my 6 days in a row and was completely knacked. That I just didn't text him back fast enough and with enough convo so early in the morning made it again his duty to block me! This time I wanted it to be for good, that he didn't message me, 3 months later this guy decides from a new number he would just simply send a text saying ‘Hi’ something else he had previously in text messaged, which I found to be very strange. I never replied back in fact never pushed through the WhatsApp msg and 2 months later a new number different message more abrupt saying ’Hello’ nothing else no explanation as to who it was I was just suppose to know, I think he wanted me to play the game of who is it. 

I went through a series of messages from him going back years where he on and off again started convos and ended them and you know what I realised, this guy hadn’t even noted down my birthday, never knew, even the big mouthed one straight away knew when that was on snap chat when we were talking. It was all about him he could contact me when he wanted to, pick up where he left off either through a new app or my number which he kept. 

To conclude when God is showing you who someone is please pay attention to the red flags a week after meeting with them God spoke to me and said ‘That meeting was Not about you’ nether of these guys had any good intentions for knowing me I don’t know why and personally I don’t care but one things for sure and two things for certain nether will hear from me in future or be getting back in touch with me!