#i am light headed af every time i stand and just so happens my dad's blood sugar is low (mine is fine

[coco-loco-nut]

Book Club - Part 7

Pairing: The Grid x Reader, Lance x Reader

Summary: reader in a crash, book club dads worried af abt her

requests open masterlist

——————

You felt nervous going into Spa, a feeling that you just couldn’t shake. You had talked to Kimi about it and even crashed the Haas garage to talk to your best friends, but nothing could shake the pit as you climbed into the pit as the light rain started. Max looked at you and gave you a thumbs up before getting into his car.

You’ve never done great at Spa, the only reason you are P4 is because of the rocket ship that is you car. That was one lap, this is 44 laps. You release a shaky breath and focus on the lights above you. Not even 10 laps later the pit in your stomach increases due to the increased rainfall. You can’t get rid of the feeling despite your intense concentration on driving.

My tires aren’t going to last much longer, I’m losing grip.

Copy, Y/n, push one more lap then we will bring you in.

By the time you reported the tire conditions you were already mostly through sector three. You resteel yourself and push the car as hard as you could while managing the tires.

It’s when you enter sector two that you panic a little. You are losing grip faster than you thought and have begun fighting the steering.

GUYS SOMETHING IS HAPPENING

Y/n?

Y/n? Are you okay? Y/n!

Your wheels lose grip to the track and send you into the wall. It’s a nasty crash that immediately red flags, the debris across the track plus the rain increasing was enough for the FIA to red flag it. Your head is pounding and your vision a little blurry. Only when your ears stop ringing do you hear the radio.

Fuck, yeah I’m okay

You slur the words and pull yourself out of the car, immediately collapsing when you stand up as everything fades to black.

Lance, slow down, red flag, red flag.

Andrew? Who was that, don’t tell me it was Y/n. Fuck, is my wife ok?

It was her, no word back yet. Nothing over her radio from what we can tell.

Andrew, I need to know. Is. She. Ok.

She just said she was ok over the radio. There is debris across the track, stop the car and a marshall will get you back to the garage.

Shit, that’s bad. Andrew, what are you hiding from me?

Lance stops the car and gets out when it is safe to do so, as indicated by the marshal, but his heart drops when he sees you being put into ambulance.

“Mr Stroll, please let me at least let me get you back to the garage,” the marshal senses that he wants to fun over to the scene. Lance reluctantly goes back to the garage where he immediately pulls out of the race and goes to the hospital where they are taking his wife.

Max, Y/n crashed behind you, red flag.

Shit, is she okay?

No confirmation yet, make your way back to the pit lane.

Max feels his heart drop. He knew how uncomfortable you were going into the race and he would do anything to go back and time and tell her not to race. The red flag ended the race, and every driver had a similar reaction to Max and Lance. Max felt sick that that’s how he won, and he said as much in the post-race interviews. It was visible how much he and the paddock cared about you. Every one of your grid dads, as you affectionately called them when talking to Max, came over to him asking for updates, hoping Max would know more since he was your teammate.

“Lance, take a seat, pacing won’t help,” Kimi tells Lance, equally worried and frustrated at the lack of information as they wait in the hospital. Kimi was already on his way after the phone call this morning, this wasn’t what he expected when he touched down. Half the grid is sitting in the room, their legs bouncing or anxiously conversing.

“Mr. Stroll,” a nurse says, causing the both of them to hop up and walk to the desk.

“Who is Mr. Stroll?” she asks and Lance slightly raises his hand.

“I am, this is her father,” Lance says, the nurse motions for the two of them to follow.

“The doctor is in the private room waiting for you,” she closes the door behind Lance and Kimi.

“Hi, I’m Doctor Janssens. I have a bit of good and bad news. Good news is that Y/n only has a mild concussion, some whiplash, sprained wrist, and a small hairline fracture of the wrist. Bad news is that she’ll be out of racing for at least a month,” both Kimi and Lance cringe at the news.

“That’s all? It was a nasty crash,” Lance asks a bit skeptically, looking at your sleeping figure.

“Based on tests and scans, we have ruled out any head, neck, and back breaks. We have her pain meds, which is why she’s sleeping. She will likely be under observation for another day or two,” the doctor says, trying to relay the information in a delicate manor.

“Thank you,” Kimi dismisses the doctor, a hand resting on your shoulder. He and Lance sit in silence for a minute, gathering feelings and thoughts.

“She looks so peaceful,” Lance says softly, holding his sleeping wife’s hand.

“I’ll give you a moment while I talk to Christian and the drivers. Think about when you want to make a statement. I may hate the media, but you don’t want them to be hounding the hospital,” Kimi says before stepping out. Kimi and Christian quickly come to an agreement about the seat, the later not wanting to lose out on his second driver. The grid takes the news relatively well, but they all know how lucky they were, especially you. Pierre and Charles may have been handling it the worst.

“Kimi, will you look over this statement?” Lance asks, knowing the older man is an expert in saying things vaguely.

All-

We want to thank you for your support following Y/n’s crash. She is currently in the hospital under the care of great doctors. We are thankful that she is okay and look forward to a smooth recovery.

- The Räikkönens and Strolls

“Looks fine to me, I will take care of the outside stuff. You focus on our girl,” Kimi goes into Dad mode, sending the message to Red Bull and Lawrence. He posts the statement first on his account, Red Bull and Lawrence following shortly afterwards. Red Bull edited it slightly to reassure fans that you still had your seat waiting for you.

“Lance? You ask as you wake up, wincing from the pain. The room is dimmer, as to not strain you.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he says softly, brushing hair from your eyes.

“Everything hurts,” you groan.

“Going into the wall will do that to you, you got lucky,” Kimi says from beside Lance.

“Dad? What did the doctor say, when can I get back into the car?” your vision slightly blurry as your eyes adjust to being awake.

“You have a concussion, whiplash, wrist sprain, and a hairline fracture. You’ll be out for about a month,” Kimi says, heart aching.

“Some of the guys are here? Want me to bring them in?” Lance asks, doing his best to distract you from the amount of time you will be out.

“Yeah,” you verbally confirm, not able to nod your head due to the neck pain. Lance leaves the room to grab the grid.

“I’m sorry, crashes like this are the worst,” Kimi tells you, clearly still affected by your crash.

“Thanks for being here, you didn’t have to leave everyone for me,” you says softly, thinking about your family back in Finland.

“They want to know that you are ok, and you are still my daughter, of course I will be here,” he replies, his softer side showing.

“I didn’t mean to scare everyone. Robin, Rianna, and Grace weren’t watching, right?” you panic a little, scared for their young minds.

“No, they know you are hurt, but they think it’s just a boo boo,” Kimi reassures you. The grid comes in and sufficiently distracts you, happy to know you’re okay.

You spend the next month in Finland with Kimi and your family, working back to 100%. Kimi takes you karting when you are almost fully recovered, getting you back to normal. Lance visits when he isn’t racing.

“Sissy, why do you have to go?” Robin asks, you tested in F1 cars again and got the green light to race again.

“I have to go drive in circles really really fast, just like Papa used to,” you crouch down to his level. Your sisters equally sad at your departure.

“What if you get a boo boo again?” Rianna asks, and you pause, thinking about how to explain it well.

“Do you stop going to the park even after your fall and get a boo boo there? Sometimes we get hurt, but that’s ok,” you don’t promise that you won’t get hurt, that’s not a promise you can keep. Rianna nods, understanding but sad you aren’t staying.

“Will Lancie come back next time?” Robin asks, not wanting to let you go.

“He will, I’ll be back in a couple weeks, it’ll fly by,” you give you siblings one last hug. Kimi hugs you goodbye as well, he spent the past week going over the track with you and talking about strategies.

When you get to the track, you are stopped by every driver, asking how you are and saying how much they missed you.

“Welcome back,” Fernando greets you when you walk into the club meeting.

“I listened to the audiobook, let’s get this party started,” you smile, happily listening to Lewis and Daniel fight about some symbolism. Your boys pampered you for your return. George brought you coffee from Mercedes, Logan brought you a pastry that he picked up from a bakery. Valtteri gave you some home remedies for your sore muscles that he swore works wonders. Kevin and Nico just hugged you but that was enough for you.

“Max was freaking out, he chewed out the Red Bull team for not pitting you earlier,” Daniel tells you, having filled in for you while you were hurt.

“That’s nice of him,” you smile to yourself. Lewis had also been vocal in interviews about how your crash could’ve been prevented if the race had ended sooner due to the rain.

“Y/n! Have a second?” a reporter asks and you nod.

“See you later, Danny,” you wave goodbye to him and approach the mic.

“Thanks for joining me, I just have a couple quick questions. First off, how are you feeling?”

“I’m really good, a little sore, but itching to get into the car again,” you reply, not giving away more than that regarding your injuries.

“You certainly seemed to scare the grid when you weren’t responding after the crash. How has your welcome back been?” the reporter pushes for more information.

“They’ve been great, they all came to the hospital to visit and have taken great care of me today. I obviously feel bad for scaring them, but they are the best competitors I could ask for,” you smile, before leaving the interview.

“Welcome back, kid,” Max hugs you when you walk into the Red Bull motorhome. You sing Super Max when you see him, having spent the last month listening to the silly songs that have been written for the drivers

“Thanks Maxie. Who is the better teammate, me or Daniel?” you grin, putting the dutchman in a tough spot.

“Daniel, for sure,” Max jokes. Your jaw drops and you turn around, leaving to go to another motorhome. You find yourself in McLaren, singing Let’s Go, Lando, with Lando himself who was happy to join in with your under-the-breath singing. Oscar wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh at or murder the two of you.

“What brings you to our home?” Oscar asks once you both stop singing.

“Max said he liked Daniel more than me as a teammate,” you pout, not revealing that you knew he was joking.

“Right, I’m texting Lance,” Oscar shakes his head with a laugh, leaving you and Lando to chat.

“Y/n, love, you just healed, let’s not get hurt by forcing McLaren security to kick you out,” Lance laughs when he sees you and Lando bonding.

“Noooo, we were just becoming friends, she never hands out with drivers that are her age,” Lando whines. You give him an ick face.

“For good reason, you are all icky,” you quickly turn to Lance, “not you, baby,” you smile and turn back to Lando, “why would I hang out with you all and party after races when I can spend time with the older drivers whose company I prefer,” your eyebrow quirks.

“Say what you want, I’ve seen you at our parties. You have more fun than Lance,” Lando grins.

“Alright Lance, let’s go,” you get up, Lance assisting you since you are still a little slow due to the aches still in your muscles. He walks with you hand in hand back to Red Bull where your trainer helps work out your neck muscles and tape your neck and wrist.

“Let us know if you are feeling pain, if you have to pull out of free practice early, pull out. There is no shame if you are hurting,” Christian tells you, before you get to your car.

“I know, I’ll let you know,” you smile, feeling good in the car. After FP1, all of your grid dads found you after weigh ins, checking you over.

“Mi hija, are you okay? Does anything hurt? How is your hand,” Fernando asks, filling his usual position as the overprotective grid dad.

“A little sore, yeah,” you groan as you roll your shoulders.

“Don’t do that, let’s get you to an ice bath, then some heat,” Kevin says. Lance and your trainer don’t bother checking in on you.

“Let’s have a, well what your would call, a girls night. Help you recover,” Lewis suggests. And that’s how you spend the next few nights, in pajamas, with fluffy blankets, alternating cold and heat on your neck, watching movies of books you had read with the club.

“Petition to make this an occurrence each race?” Valtteri proposes at one point, getting eight voices in agreement back. They did a wonderful job of helping you recover, and the encouraging phone calls to Kimi helped you feel more than ready to race when race day approaches.

“IT’S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO! GREAT START FROM RÄIKKÖNEN!” The announcer yells into the mic as you gain a few places, toe to toe with Max.

Can I race?

Permission to Race, give em hell, Y/n

You end up winning the race with a 1-2 finish, pulling a Carlos Sainz and Ferrari after his appendix removal. Your first F1 win.

[little-corritrice]

Light of My Life - Chapter 21

Synopsis - y/n was your ordinary young women, who happened to be the daughter of Christian Horner. She is there every race, and every day, See how she gets along with everyone, including a special someone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He ran to me, spinning me around. "y/n!" He exclaimed, hugging me tightly. I laughed, kissing his cheek as he put me down slowly. "When? How?" He asked so many questions making me laugh. "Like yesterday. I don't know, a miracle?" I said, smiling softly. "Does this mean you can walk?" He asked, stepping a few feet away. "I haven't got that far." I chuckled, before trying it. I took a baby step, wobbling a little bit. "Go get Alex." I said, waving my hand around. He ran out, leaving the door open. I quickly sat down, not wanting anyone to see me standing. Mick was jumping to the garage, running into the Red Bull garage. I watched as him and Alex came running out, sprinting their way to me with Christian in tow. They came in, shutting and locking the door.

I smiled, standing up again. "Ta-da!" I exclaimed, doing jazz hands. They laughed and Christian came over. I took a baby step to him, and engulfed him. "I can feel my legs, dad." I said, a tear of joy slipping out. "I'm so happy." He said, wiping my tears. "How about you come to me?" Alex said from the other side of the RV. I nodded, letting go of Christian. Mick was by my side, holding his hand out. I took a baby step, then another, then a full step. It felt weird at first, but I got used to it. I made it to Alex, only with a little wobble. "I did it!" I exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "Oh, I'm so excited to see the guys reaction when I walk." I squealed, shaking my hands. "Your such a goofball." Christian said, rubbing my head. "The race is over so you guys can head back to the hotel and catch the flight in the morning. I'll see you at the house?" Christian asked. "Of course. I'll be back." I said, giving him a hug. "Take care of her." Christian said to Alex, making him nod.

After we were back in the hotel room, I was walking around, baby steps and big steps. Alex was taking a shower, humming a song. I got a brilliant idea, so I wrote a note that I would be back in 30 minutes, and left it on the bed. I slowly walked out, making sure no one was there. I went down to Lando's room, but stopped outside. I sighed before knocking. I stood there waiting before the door opened. Lando smiled, and hugged me. "Hey. You okay?" He asked, still not noticing I am walking on my own. "Yea." I said, pushing past him, and laying on hid bed. I smirked as he came over, sitting on the other bed. "Why the smirk?" He asked being the clueless dude he is. "Just give it a minute." I said, closing my eyes. After a minute or so, I heard a gasp, and felt him on me. "Your walking! Oh my god, y/n." He exclaimed, making me chuckle. "Took you a while." I laughed, hugging him back. Lando had tears in his eyes, making me laugh. "It's okay, Lando." I laughed, wiping his tears. "But your walking again." He said, making me chuckle at his pouty voice.

After spending some time with Lando, and telling him my plan, I walked back to the room. I heard the elevator ping, and panicked. I quickly opened the door, quickly shutting it after. "That was risky." I mumbled, but yelped when I felt arms around me. "It's just me." Alex laughed, holding my waist. "Sorry. I heard the elevator and panicked." I chuckled, turning his arms. "So, what's this great idea of yours?" He asked, lifting me up. "It's just how I want to surprise them." I said, playing with his hair. "Hm. Well, I am bored." He said, carrying us to the bed. I chuckled, sitting on his lap. "Wanna go home early?" I asked. He thought for a second before smirking. "If we leave early, we can have some fun at home." He chuckled, kissing from my lips to my neck. "Well, then we better get going." I said, getting off him. He whined, reaching his hands out. 

After we finished packing our bags, and were on the plane, I was sitting across from him, smirking as he kept staring at me. "Quit staring, Alex." I smirked, shaking my head. "Your so lucky I can't just have you right here, right now." He sighed in frustration, making me chuckle. "Patience." I said, getting up and going to the corner bar. I grabbed us some drinks, going back and sitting on his lap. "To good times." I whispered in his ear, making him sigh. He chugged his drink, putting the glass on the table. I sipped my drink slowly, putting in on the table after. "Stop teasing me, darling. It won't end well for you." He said in a low tone. I chuckled, sighing after. "We will see about that." I smirked, kissing him deeply.

[madnessismylover]

There are days where I doubt I'm actually an empath... Then I am proven oh so wrong

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.

Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.

“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi

well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist

lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here

“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage

lol, fucking THANK YOU though

oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol

did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead

WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING

things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell

did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match

did she actually hit him or did he get away??

or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what

well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough

oh my god

does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse

oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea

IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever

OH MY GOD

DEKU, RUN

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this

but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you

(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)

-- holy shit

looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys

so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??

so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory

oh my god?!?

so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???

oh my GOD oh my god

“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol

holy hell the juxtaposition

I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already

oh snap

nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!

noooo Ladyyyyyyy

holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it

you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though

I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??

and hey, speaking of asking too many questions

holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not

(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)

OH MY GOD LADY YES

this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming

so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time

okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol

holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...

this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback

yes it is oh my gosh

so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol

but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully

anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what

oh, he spotted her, I guess

lmaooooo

new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece

oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes

you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what

uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now

is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card

???

I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol

ohhhhhh, lol

why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there

and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf

(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)

anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』

From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.

Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta

Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!

Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo

☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆

I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes

But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety

He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple

He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺

Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him

You're special 💞💫

Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'

Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔

He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary

He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️

I mean, he ain't wrong, but–

And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?

Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️

But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?

You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂

Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something

Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it

9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah

Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them

Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin

Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever

Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya

It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies

Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛

But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base

He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵

*fans self profusely*

Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧

If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*

Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤

Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point

And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep

Speaking of insomnia!

It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep

He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧

When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭

And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺

Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!

Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise

He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣

Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀

Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy

But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗

But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me

And sorry, but I don't make the rules

Well, actually, I do. But shush

We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩

But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥

Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃

And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂

Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...

But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours

Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍

And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀

But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence

But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood

Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏

And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it

Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people

But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍

He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳

Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical

He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous

We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises

Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it

If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact

Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact

And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞

But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot

And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛

Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤

And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck

He's marking his woman 😌

When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...

I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa

I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!

Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden

For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with

I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂

The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️

The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭

So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗

After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well

If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐

It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart

He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time

He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺

Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything

Again: communication and comfort zones

Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else

He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[qjhughes]

More Hearts Than Mine

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: There are some things you have to warn Harry about before you take him to meet your family.

Warning(s): I don’t think there are any warnings honestly, but if there are any that i missed, send me an ask and let me know!!

A//N: This is literally just a fic version of the song “More Hearts Than Mine” by Ingrid Andress. I’ve cried to this song more times than I can count and I really just wanted to write a little piece based on the song!!

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Reblogs help so much and they are so greatly appreciated!!

*

“Hey, Harry?” Your voice carries from your room all the way to the living room where Harry’s sat on the couch. 

“Yeah, baby?” You can hear him stand up, the padding of his feet letting you know that he’s coming closer to you.

“Can we talk really quick?” He pauses for a moment, eyes slightly widened. 

“Yeah, sure. Um, is this a good talk or a bad talk?” He comes closer, perching on the edge of your bed.

“It’s neither, really. It’s more of a ‘getting you ready for meeting my family’ talk, you know?” He nods, and there’s a churning in your gut about the conversation that needs to be had.

“Alright, you have the floor, love.” You give him a soft smile. 

Taking a deep breath, you begin what you’ve been meaning to tell him for a while now. “Harry, I love you, yeah? More than anything in this world.” He nods, wringing his hands together and whispering back an ‘I love you’. “Okay, um, yeah. I’m so excited to show you the town I grew up in. It’s small, as you know, but there are a lot of memories there. And I know you’re most likely going to feel like you’ve spent a lot longer than a week there by the time that we leave because of all the stories that I’ve told you along with all the memories that we’ll make while we’re there.” You climb onto the bed next to him, wanting to be closer to him. 

“I can’t wait to see the place that helped make you who you are.” You smile at his commentary, knowing that he’s just talking to make you less nervous.

“I think it’s a little funny how we’ll most likely have to sleep in separate bedrooms even though we’re both grown adults, but that’s just how my parents are.” Both you and Harry let out a light chuckle at the words, both of you already being prepared to not be able to fall asleep next to one another. “And um, I want you to know that I’m not trying to change your mind about going, okay?” You wait for him to nod before continuing. “I just think that there are some things that I should tell you. Just in case something happens to us.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to us, love.” The way his voice waivers on the words makes you want to forget the whole conversation and just wrap him up in your arms, but you know that it’s something that needs to be said. Meeting the family is a big step.

“You don’t know that, H. I’d love to say that nothing is going to happen, but something always could. I just have to say a few things.” You look down at your hands and pick at the nail polish that’s begun to chip away. “My mom is going to fall in love with you a thousand times faster than I did. She’s going to see you and instantly want you to be around more often. And when you open that mouth of yours, God, she’s going to be completely head over heels in love. You’ll have her so whipped that she’ll love you more than she loves me.” He chuckles, but you can tell that he’s doing it to hide his emotions. The tears in his eyes give it all away. There are tears in your eyes, too. Nothing necessarily bad has been said, but the conversation is so heavy that it feels like there’s something awful going to come from it. 

“My dad’s going to pretend that he absolutely hates you. I’m not sure why, but that’s exactly how he is with everyone. He’ll check the tires on your car, he’ll drink whiskey with you, and he’ll take you fishing, but he won’t admit that he likes you. He’ll give you a talk about breaking my heart, and he’ll be the most intimidating that you’ll probably ever see him with anyone. But deep down, he’s going to love you, too.” He sniffles from beside you, and when you look up at him again, there are tears streaming down his face. You reach out and wipe them away with your thumbs. “Baby, you know that this isn’t a conversation that’s trying to end things, right?” He nods, leaning into your palms.

“It’s just a lot to take in, darling.” You nod, pursing your lips.

“Um, my sister’s going to hit you with question after question to try to get you to trip up on something. She doesn’t really trust people. And, um, she’ll probably ask a lot of very personal questions, too. She’ll do anything to see you embarrassed, maybe even stumbling over your words a little bit.” He laughs a little bit, rolling his eyes. “If we meet any of my friends from school, they’ll probably act like they don’t know who you are just to humble you a little bit. They’ll buy you drinks and tell you stories about me from back in the day. They’ll tell you about all the parties that we went to.” Your cheeks begin to heat up at the memories flooding your mind of all the crazy nights that you’ll never be able to outlive.

“Can’t wait to hear every single one of them.” He winks at you, making your cheeks burn even more.

“Um, so yeah. If something happens between the two of us, it’s going to hurt a lot more after this week. My mom will be so heartbroken that it’ll most likely hurt her more than me. My dad will pour me some whiskey and pretend that he never did the same for you. My sister will hold me while I cry. My friends will conspire to beat you up without getting sued.” You laugh lighty at the thought. “Everyone that you’re going to meet this week will fall apart along with me. So, um, just a warning that after we leave today, the stakes are being raised. Because after this, it won’t just be you or me getting hurt, alright?”

“Baby, I’m still going to meet your family. I don’t care about the stakes being raised.” You raise your brows in question, but before you can voice your confusion, Harry continues. “I plan on putting a ring on your finger one day. I’ll ask your mom for permission and your dad for your hand and I’ll get down on one knee. And then I’ll watch you walk down the aisle, we’ll say ‘I do” and we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. I don’t care about meeting everyone that matters to you, because they all matter to me, too. This doesn’t scare me, okay? I’m here for it all.”

“Then let’s go, time to get on the road.” He picks up his bag as you grab your.

“Let’s go, darling.” As the two of you get in the car, all of the fears that you had not even an hour ago feel like they’re gone, and that's something only Harry can do.

*

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[writersblocktango]

I just finished Titans season 2 and I need to talk…

Long post full of SPOILERS following. Sorry, I’ve got a lot on my mind.

1st off: The undisputed KING of this series is Jason Todd. Now, I am already a fan of Jason in the comics, but that’s a double edged sword. He could have been really great or really terrible, but luckily for us he is freaking phenomenal! Curran is so good. I had my doubts at first, but I think he is the only person to play Jay (short of us being allowed a time machine and a shot at young Jenson Ackles playing him). Truly, Curran gets it so right, and Jay is the only one who seems to get consistent writing on this show.

2nd: Dick Grayson has the worst friends ever. They act like somehow Dick is responsible for every bad thing that has ever happened in the entirety of the world. Some psycho goes after Hank and Dawn because they were Titans and he kills a kid. Let’s blame Dick! Aqualad gets shot protecting someone. Let’s blame Dick! Dr. Light and Deathstroke team up. Let’s blame Dick! Jericho’s dad is a psychopath who stabbed him through the chest. Let’s blame Dick! Why isn’t Dick omniscient? Why can’t Dick stop villains before they ever do anything bad? Why can’t Dick “fix” Jason? Why couldn’t Dick intuit that a dead boy that he saw die right in front of him wasn’t actually dead but is instead hiding trapped in his murderous father’s head? Why did Dick have to go and try to stop Deathstroke after he killed Garth, tried to kill Donna, and then swore to kill all of them?!?!

Now, I know Dick made a bad choice about showing up at Jericho’s meeting with Slade, but, my word, the boy just nearly lost his oldest and dearest friend to the same heartless assassin who’d callously murdered another of his friends maybe a month ago! Can we really blame Dick for not being the most level-headed in that moment, and can his friends, his family, not summon up a little grace for the person who has been shouldering this by himself all along and trying to do everything in his power to fix it? I cannot fathom how they honestly blame him for Jericho’s death. Then when he comes clean, trying to make things right, they as good as call him a murderer and storm out. They only ever call him or show up when they need their problems fixed! They could care less about Dick’s problems or feelings. The only person who stood by Dick through any of this was Gar, and thank goodness for him.

3rd: Ian Glen has to be the worst cast Batman of all time. To me, it’s just cringe inducing. He doesn’t look like Bruce, he doesn’t sound like Bruce, and his accent is dodgey AF. Also, Dick’s Alt-Bruce hallucinations were a little too trippy for me. I don’t think I’ll ever get the image of Bruce Wayne dancing between strippers out of my mind. *shivers* I will however allow that he had one of the funniest and most underrated lines in the season, when Alt-B was talking to Dick about Jason and said, “Everyone should throw their problem child off a fifteen story building. It clears the mind.” The situation was not funny at all, but the way he said it; my word, I had to pause it and play it back it was so funny.

4th: Does anyone actually like Dawn? I mean super occasionally she does something that’s kinda okay, but overall she is just the most self-righteous preening sanctimonious hussy. Her relationship with Dick is so toxic and then her relationship with Hank somehow manages to be worse! She’s constantly demanding that Dick fix this or solve that or be different or my favorite “Be Batman” and then blames, accuses, and shuns him for it. She acts like she’s so innocent and they’re all so screwed up when she’s just as damaged and addicted as they all are. I just can’t stand her!

5th: How dare they treat Jason like that, and how dare the show go to the end of the season and not even try to fix it! No wonder Jason thinks he’s worthless! Bruce dismisses him. Everyone constantly tells him he’s not good enough and that he’s annoying and an asshole. They accuse him of messing with them after he gets back from being kidnapped and TORTURED, like that would be the first thing on his mind. The kid nearly died, would have died if not for a save from Superboy, and the only person who seemed to care was Dick. Dick was the only one who noticed he was on the roof about to jump off. Dick and Gar are the only ones who ever even treat Jason like a human being. It’s disgusting and he deserves so much better.

6th: I was not prepared for how much I was going to love Conner, but he and Krypto are too precious for this world and must be protected. That is all. I will accept no criticism on this point.

7th: How dare the show runners introduce us to Aqualad only to take him from us! He was too cute in every sense of the word, and he and Donna were too perfect for just one episode. I love Drew Van Acker and I loved Garth. He brought some heart to a season that was trying too hard to be too dark. We need Garth. Please find some way to bring him back!

8th: What the hell was the death of Donna Troy?!?! That was the stupidest, most pointless death of all time. I can’t even wrap my head around it. It was just bad writing, pure and simple.

Which brings us to my 9th and final point: What was the writing this season? It was so SO uneven. The show would go all dark and edgy then it would suddenly try to be funny, but the light and the heart just weren’t there. My favorite part of season 1 was the relationships, but particularly what I refer to as the “Dick Grayson Healing Hug Factor”. Dick sees a person in trouble or a person who is sad or a person who needs a family and he immediately envelopes them in a metaphorical (sometimes literal) healing hug, and I love that most about him.

He is trying to build a family out of the abandoned fringe people who need help and saving. But instead of giving us 13 episodes of that, this season Dick was spread too thin and instead we had to watch him talk to Alt-Bruce in a very disturbing mental breakdown that was never adequately addressed either.

Then we have Kori who has gotten her memories back but somehow manages to have less personality and purpose than before.

Raven is suddenly keeping secrets from everyone including Dick who she usually tells everything to and relies on because of reasons. She brought a murderous gargoyle to life and that was glossed over. She attacked Donna and that was never addressed again. What are her powers? I’m confused and it feels like the writers were too.

Overall this season was uneven and odd, but somehow still good?? The fights were pretty great. I loved that 3-way blindfolded fight with Jay, Gar, and Raven. The costumes were SO much better! Kori no longer looked cheap and her hair this season was 10,000 times better. Joshua Orpin in that black superman t-shirt was like seeing Conner Kent pulled off the page. Deathstroke’s costume was super rad! Oh, and that Nightwing costume, it is so dope! Not gonna lie, I almost cried when I saw it. It was just *chef’s kiss*.

[lombredanslaeu]

where the heaven are we? | j. jaehyun

plot: a trip back to jung jaehyun’s childhood home triggered his memory of you. a bottle of pills a friend gave years ago aided jaehyun in finding out what happened after he left - and if your fate was all his fault. 

word count: 8k

genre: romance (fluff, angst), time travel-ish! au

warnings: drug use/abuse, addiction, implied smut (not too detailed), messy af writing lol

not proofread so i apologize for any mistakes

The house was cold and quiet. Surfaces were covered with a thin layer of dust as old memorabilias of Jaehyun’s parents remained as still as yesterday. After his father’s death, Jaehyun delayed selling the house as much as he could. But opportunities for money came and he found himself filling boxes. The movers were supposed to take all the boxes tomorrow. Jaehyun only has one room left to empty: his childhood bedroom.

Pictures of him and his college friends were plastered against the walls. The bed and pillows were rid of sheets as no one was using them anyway. Jaehyun decluttered before leaving home so there was not a lot of stuff to pack. A small shoe box sat inside the empty closet. The contents of the box triggered a wave of nostalgia all over him.

The box contained letters, photos, and small trinkets. It was as if someone put his college life into a small box. An orange, translucent cylinder caught Jaehyun’s eye. Beside the cylinder was a polaroid of you - smiling, full of life.

Jaehyun stared at his reflection. The image of the man he used to be was no longer found in the reflection staring back at him. Strands of grey found themselves in his hair. His youthful skin was starting to form wrinkles. There was a slight ache on the joints of his fingers. The sensation made him realized how old he actually is. He lived a long life. He went through the highs and the lows.

“Yes, son, I already recieved the email.” He spoke through the speaker of the phone.

“How was it, dad?” The young man asked.

“Good job, Jeno.” Jaehyun complimented. “I expect more of this work soon?”

“You got it.” Jeno replied.

“I’ll call you again tomorrow.”

“Okay. See you, dad.”

For a moment, he believed that he had done everything he needed to do in life. He had a loving wife and a smart son. The image of a perfect family hung above the staircase. That’s how life was for him; he was successful and adored. They say what matters most is what lies ahead. But Jaehyun couldn’t shrug off a memory of a girl from decades ago.

No portrait was big enough to overpower the small image of your smile. It reminded him of something that’s been unfixed for such a long time, he doesn’t know if there’s still a chance to resolve it.

Jaehyun felt weirdly tired. Perhaps it was the age talking but it was still weird since it was a Sunday and he did not have work. It was unusual for him to feel weary on a weekend. He yawned as he rest his body on the bed. His head spinned as if he was drunk. Before he could think of a thought, his eyes fluttered.

--

The scene was a regular day at university. Jaehyun crossed his eyebrows as he stared at his reflection in the campus restroom. His complexion was youthful - rose-colored flush spread across his cheeks. His hair was a soft shade of pink. The distant voice of Johnny Suh was heard behind a cubicle.

Where the fuck am I?

“Dude, I’m so fucking tired of taking care of your drunk asses at every party.” Johnny continued to complained. Jaehyun’s eyes widened at Johnny.

Johnny did not look like the Johnny he saw two days ago at the restuarant. The Johnny in front of him has black hair while the Johnny from two days ago had red.

“Do you even want to go to Taeyong’s party tonight?” Johnny asked. It took Jaehyun a few seconds to realize that he was being questioned. He muttered a small yes. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t sleep well last night.” Jaehyun made up the excuse. He has no idea why the hell is he reliving his college self. The thought both scared and intrigued him.

Jaehyun’s mind was still drifting as they walked across the building. His nerves tingled in his fingertips. It’s been years since he last walked the campus and yet it seemed like he was also here yesterday. His eyes lit up at the sight of his college friends, clumped up at a small bench near the field.

“I’m only going if Doyoung is going.” Johnny announced.

“I already told you, everyone is going.” Taeyong answered back.

“I better not be in charge of the fucking booze again.” Taeil complained.

“Haechan will forget half of the things I’ll tell him to buy.” Taeyong rebutted.

Jaehyun stayed quiet. It hasn’t sunk into him yet that he was indeed reliving the past. But why? Was it because of the box he discovered days ago?

This is so fucking weird.

It hasn’t occured to him yet why this is happening. He leaned back at the bench and stared at the clear sky. The chaotic chattering of his friends occupied his ears. He definitely felt young. The aging burden he’s been carrying lately was liften off his shoulders.

Jaehyun’s head started to be spin. He sat straight to stabilize the world around him. Running his hands across his hair, he attempted to speak to his chatting friends. None of them seemed to notice Jaehyun’s distress. It weirded him out that Sicheng was looking at him and talking as if Jaehyun was alright. Black dots appeared in his vision. He blinked rapidly as he glanced one more time among his friends who acted as if nothing was happening. He couldn’t explain the phenomenon. It was like he’s about to faint. Only a sound of static was heard as he closed his eyes - in an attempt to stop the world from turning.

After a few seconds, Jaehyun’s heard started to feel normal. Although, a different type of sound could be heard by his ears. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at his feet. He was standing now. The color of the room was a mix of purple and red. Loud music bounced through the four walls of the room, accompanied by the shouting of people. He was at a party.

Jaehyun looked all around him. He recognized the place immediately. This was Taeyong’s house. Jaehyun felt drunk. It wasn’t the nauseating type of drunk. He felt good; he felt as if he was invincible. He only felt this way while he’s drinking with his friends. He only felt this way when he was with someone he couldn’t put a name into. Jaehyun approached Yuta who was on the couch, rolling a blunt.

“It’s weird to see Jung Jaehyun without a girl under his arm on a party.” Yuta commented. The thick smoke of the blunt covered his smirking face.

“I’m just as confused as you.” He replied.

“Have you seen the freshmen?” Yuta asked. “Boy, Johnny did not lie when he said they were hot.”

“I haven’t yet.” Jaehyun took a sip of his beer. “It’s hard to determine who’s a freshie and who’s not.”

“Taeyong made the freshmen wear a yellow bracelet.”

“Why?”

“So we know who to fuck with and who to not.”

Soon enough, Yuta became occupied with a girl who sat beside him. Before standing up to go somewhere, Yuta handed a small cylindrical container to Jaehyun. “Ten said to give this to you. He said to only take it when necessary.”

The orange, cylinder. The one he saw inside the shoe box in his bedroom. He straightened his back with his heart pounding loudly in his chest. He still wasn’t sure why the hell he’s in this timeline of his life. He was hoping he could know the answers tonight.

“Oops.” A small body collided with his strong one. The impact shook Jaehyun out of his reverie. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Jaehyun replied. “Hey, do I know you from somewhere?”

The girl look at his eyes. Jaehyun felt a heat rush to his ears and cheeks. He was thankful that the lights were dim or else the girl would have noticed his red ears.

“I don’t think so.” The girl replied. “I’m a trasnferee.”

“Really? From where?”

“I took my first year in Yonsei.”

“That’s quiet far from here.” Jaehyun added. “Oh, by the way, I’m Jaehyun.”

“I’m Y/N.” The girl replied, shaking his hand.

A minute ago, Jaehyun had no idea why all of a sudden, he was reliving his college life. Now, he knows why.

A ringing in his head made Jaehyun press his palms against his temples. He shook his head. It was happening again. A nauseating feeling erupted in Jaehyun’s stomach. With a fleeting second, the earth beneath him felt normal. He was almost scared to open his eyes. He was scared of what lies before him. With a gulp, he opened them.

“Come on, Y/N, back me up!” Johnny yelled at the graphic video game in front of him.

“Ugh! There’s so many orcs on my way!” You screamed back.

“Johnny, you’re supposed to heal us too.” Jaehyun complained. Why the hell did he know what to say and what to do in a video game he hasn’t played in decades? “Not just you!”

“Attack, attack, attack!” Johnny commanded.

A series of keyboard clicking erupted through the living room of Johnny’s house.

“Yes!” You all exclaimed as “victory” presented on the screen of your laptops.

“Damn, I’m beat.” You announced, leaning back on the couch.

“I wish we could stay this way forever.” Jaehyun spoke. “Just carefree nerds battling orcs.”

“Who said we’re nerds?” Johnny faked an offending face.

“Yeah, we’re just some college kids who decided to reward their hardwork with these childish games.” You replied.

“I’m proud of you and Johnny for winning the national debate.” Jaehyun said with a huge grin on his face.

“I’m glad I met you guys.” You said wholeheartedly. The men beside you sent gagging sounds over your cheesy sentiment. You playfully punched their arms as you prepared yourselves for another night of video games.

--

Jaehyun wasn’t supposed to take it but he needed to see you again. It has been a week since he rediscovered the pills Ten gave him. He didn’t know if this could affect his health. He didn’t even know if Ten is still alive. He didn’t know if the pills were legit, if they were expired, or if it was some bad drugs that Ten disguised as magic pills. All he knew was there has always been a hole in his soul. All because of you. For the past years of his life, he wondered what would have happened if things didn’t turn out the way they did.

Memories of you suddenly flooded his mind. The image of your soft hair hitting his face as you frolic through the field together. The warmth of your arms as you hug him out of the blue. Most importantly, he remembered your loyalty. It all came back to him now.

He really shouldn’t have done it but he could only do so much now that one of Ten’s pills was already sitting in his stomach.

His head felt light. The world around him seemed to double as he tried to shake out of it. His fingers felt rigid but his legs were wobbly. Swaying left and right, Jaehyun could hardly make it back to his room. He expected to collapse on to the cold tiles of his bathroom floor but a soft mattress welcomed him instead.

Pill #1

This time, the scenario was happening inside one of the campus libraries.

Wow. So Ten’s pills really do work.

Jaehyun felt selfish. He felt bad that he was running away from his current life to see you again. What else was he supposed to do? He was given the opportunity to fix an unsolved bridge in his past. He’s not letting this time slide.

“I hate this subject so much.” You complained. The table that you and Jaehyun shared was trashed with different variations of papers and pens.

“Come on, what is it about?” Jaehyun asked.

“Something about quarks and photons.” You groaned and rest your head on your palms.

“It’s not that bad. Look,” Jaehyun said. He took a scratch paper and a pen. “It says here that photons aren’t considered as a matter because they don’t have mass. Quarks, however, have mass.”

“Therefore, photons aren’t made up of quarks.” You concluded.

“See? It’s not that bad.” Jaehyun teased.

You glared at his smug face. He chuckled and looked at his phone. There was a message from Jungwoo.

Jungwoo Kim [4:45 pm]: wow lover boy’s on the move

Jaehyun [4:46 pm]: Wtf?

Jungwoo Kim [4:48 pm]: I know about your little crush on Y/N

Jungwoo Kim [4:48 pm]: DO NOT WORRY. ur secret is safe with me ;)

He shook his head at his friend. Jaehyun leaned back at his chair. His eyes remained on your slouching figure. Your brows furrowed as you tried to slow an equation. Your hair swayed in the wind caused by the large fan on the ceiling. Jaehyun hated what happened between the two of you. He was worried, however, about how far each pill could take him. He only had 4 remaining pills left. It boggled his mind how the pills could determine how far in the past it could take Jaehyun.

“You hungry?” Jaehyun asked all of the sudden.

You were taken aback. But it would be a lie to say that you didn’t find Jaehyun attractive. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure that how beautiful he is.

“Yeah.” You replied. “Getting quiet tired of all these studying.”

You fixed all your scattered belongings on the table. The sun was still out despite the time being late into the afternoon.

“It’s a Friday.” You announced. “Don’t you have any plans you should be preparing for right now?”

“The guys are taking it easy this weekend.” Jaehyun answered. “There’s a lot of exams coming up.”

“Wow, for such party people, you sure are responsible.”

“Hey, it’s not easy being a business management major.” Jaehyun’s response made you laugh. “What made you take up physics?”

“I like the universe.” You replied. “More than that, I like how there’s still so much left to be answered. What causes things to function they way they do? What happens inside a black hole? Can you get out? When will the universe reach its unevitable end and what happens after that?”

Jaehyun watched you as you rant on and on about why you chose to study that. He saw the gleam in your eyes as the skies washed your face with its golden light.

“I hope I can live long enough to know the answers.”

The last few words of your sentence bounced back and forth. The golden skies whirled and Jaehyun waited for it to happen again. As if bracing for impact, he held his head between his hands and closed his eyes.

“A little birdie told me that you have a little crush on someone.” You were wearing a yellow sun dress.

The meadow behind you was filled with flowers matching the color of your dress. The skirt of it flowed through the wind as you held your head to keep your hat from flying.

“What? What crush?” Jaehyun stuttered.

“Come on, Jaehyun, who’s the lucky girl?” You looked at him with doe eyes.

You.

“I’ll tell you once I ask her out.” Jaehyun replied.

“Ugh,” You groaned. “How about this: I tell you who my crush is and you tell me mine.”

“Deal.” Jaehyun wanted to slap himself for agreeing.

“I have a crush on Johnny.” You confessed.

Jaehyun felt a pang in his chest. You like Johnny. Of course, you would. Johnny is a sweet and smooth guy. He tried his best to hide his frown.

“Oh.” Jaehyun muttered. “Well, I like Mina.”

You smiled sweetly at him, clearly impressed with yourself that you got him to confess. You turned your back from him as you frolic in the field. Jaehyun could only watch your swaying figrue as you drift farther and farther away.

--

Jaehyun woke up in cold sweat. The shine was starting to shine through the windows. He groaned as he sat up in the bed. He glanced over the bedside table. There stood two photo frames - one of him and his wife and one of his son. The death of his wife was followed shortly by the death of his father. Jaehyun loved Adelaine. She was a woman of psychology - respected and adored by many. He lifts the frame and looked at their young and smiling faces. Jaehyun was happy. He lived a happy life, with a loving wife and a smart son. His smile soon fell as he remembered his dream last night.

“Tought night?” Kun slipped a cup of coffee on Jaehyun’s desk.

“Nah.” Jaehyun replied, getting the cup. “Just watched some movies until it was 3:00 pm.”

“Is this what living alone does to a man?”

“Shut it, Kun.” Jaehyun growled.

‘I’m just kidding.” Kun laughed. “Hey, you ready to meet the physicists this afternoon?”

Jaehyun could only swallow bitterly.

Your hopes and dreams lingered in Jaehyun’s mind. For the longest time, he believed that you, among many of his friends, were one of the reasons behind the darkest days of his life. He believed that the reason the universe made him rediscover the shoe box was to remind him of why he should think that way. Aside from your hopes, your laugh echoed through Jaehyun’s brain. All of a sudden, he felt guilty for having to experience the joys of life. He figured that if he became happy, you should be too.

Many reunions came along and he never found you in any of them. He would ask your mutual friends where you were - if you were still alive. They all answered the same thing: “I don’t know.” It was as if you never existed. A part of him wanted to believe that you were gone; probably to alleviate the guilt and pain. Besides, there’s no reason for you to ditch all reunions and disappear from the face of the earth. A bigger part of him believed that you just moved on with your life - whether still with vices and or without. He wanted to know what happened. He wished he gave his younger self a chance to turn and see you one last time.

He was definitely swallowing another pill tonight.

Pill #2

The pain felt fresh. In real time, it would have been 30 years since Jaehyun’s parents dropped the news about their divorce. Right now, the pain in Jaehyun’s chest was stinging. In real time, he would have forgotten the words his mother threw at his father. But right now, it still rings in his ears as if he just heard it an hour ago.

“I wish I could do something, bud.” Ten spoke silently beside him.

Jaehyun could only smile. The divorce was something Jaehyun carried with him throughout his whole life. He was afraid of failing at marriage, he was afraid of hurting his children.

“It’s okay, Ten.” Jaehyun replied.

“You know what,” Ten went to one of his drawers and pulled out a small, clear bag. “I’m not sure if you’re gonna agree, but I can assure you this takes away the pain.”

Jaehyun could only stare as Ten emptied a bag into the table. He took his school ID card to form the powder into a thin line. After rolling a piece of paper, he used it to connect the powder to his nostril. The scenario enticed Jaehyun. With the pain he was feeling right now, he wanted to feel something. Before he knows it, he was laying on his back with a burn in his left nostril.

Jaehyun’s mind felt hazy. It was as if he was seeing stars and flying amongst them. He no longer felt the ache of his parents’s divorce, he no longer remembers their arguing. It was as if the universe fell into place. He saw stars, he saw constellations, he saw galaxies. And most importantly, he saw you.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A dazed Ten spoke beside him.

“Y/N.” Jaehyun replied.

He saw you beside him, under him, in front of him. He saw you laughing, smiling, frowning.

A female’s laughter entered the scene. Jaehyun’s vision blurred as the world began warping in front of him. Ten’s body was slowly disappearing from Jaehyun’s vision as he saw a wide, white light. The burn from the light caused Jaehyun to shut his eyes close. When everything felt stable again, he slowly opened them.

This was another scene. He remembers this time like the back of his hand. How he hated every memory of it for it was the start of your ruin. He looked over you as blood left his face.

You threw your head back, forcing the white powder to hit deeper in your system. You looked over a dazed but still beautiful Jaehyun. You laid down beside him.

“Did I do it right this time?” You asked him.

“Yeah.” Jaehyun answered.

You were only looking up at the beaten and growning ceiling. However, little specks of glitter appeared everywhere. The glimmer of the specks shined as they doubled in size and in quantity.

“Can you see that?” You inquired.

“What?” Jaehyun looked over at your amused side profile.

“The stars. I can see them.”

Jaehyun looked up once more at the ceiling. The brightest star was already shining beside him.

“I see it.” Jaehyun answered, still basking in your beauty.

Soon enough, you felt as if your body was floating. You felt as if you could touch the stars. You raised one hand up to touch one of the specks but it vanished at your touch.

“Where the heaven are we?” You spoke.

Jaehyun’s chest began to tighten. In the center of your made up universe emerged a black hole. Jaehyun leaned forward and let it take him.

“I don’t know.” You responded gingerly.

“Come on, Y/N.” Jaehyun insisted. “This would be last one for the week.”

It’s only Wednesday and yet you already wasted Jaehyun’s one week supply of drugs. Johnny shook his head besides him.

“Jae, maybe you should take a break for now.” Johnny suggested.

“But I need an extra boost to finish that history essay!” Jaehyun reasoned out.

His sentiment made you remember why you got an A+ on your essay about quantum mechanics. You remembered the feeling and suddenly, you were craving for it.

“This is the last one for the week, okay?” You said, igniting joy in Jaehyun.

Johnny looked over his friends. In a few years, he would beat himself for doing nothing. Right now, all he did was walk away.

Darkness was slowly introducing themselves in Jaehyun’s vision. It was a signal for another time wrap. Although his nerves went array, he still prayed that it would take him back to a time where you’re sober. The world stabilized itself but the image in front of Jaehyun punched him in the chest.

A bottle of vodka in one hand and a syringe in one. Your once plush cheeks was starting to hollow. The red tint of the lipstick your wore was struggling to hide the blue. You look miserable, but you felt happy. You looked over at Jaehyun - the beautiful man that is Jung Jaehyun.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Your voice was coarse and deep, but it still had the sweetness to it.

Jaehyun looked over your features again. He felt miserable but all he did was smile.

“I like you a lot.” Jaehyun confessed. He does. He adored everything about you. In 30 years, Jaehyun could only remember so much yet he remembers everything about you.

“I like you too.” Your response made Jaehyun rise from his seat. The feeling of your lips against his was something he yearned for decades. And he felt it now.

Sparks exploded between you and Jaehyun.

“What took you so long to do that?” You asked.

“Never had the chance.” He replied.

All he did was blink. All Jaehyun did was sigh and blink. All of a sudden, the scenario changed before him.

“I want more! I fucking want more!” You exclaimed.

The bags under your eyes were darker than it was just seconds ago. Your hair was also shorter, falling just below your collar bones.

“Why are you just standing there? I fucking want more!” You screamed, thrashing around in a chair.

“I can’t give you more until you finish your essay.” Jaehyun warned.

“Fuck that essay!”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. Just months ago, you were so passionate about physics. You could do an essay or answer an equation in a snap. Now, you couldn’t do anything.

Your mouth felt dry and your throat was coarse. There was a insatiable thirst that water can’t seem to fix. You held your head with your palm as you stare into your lap. This wasn’t you. Just seconds ago, you felt infinite. Now, you just felt empty. You needed more but the rational part of your brain screamed no. You wanted to feel something, to feel alive. That’s why the next thing Jaehyun knew, you were kissing him with all your might.

The force of your lips againts his gave Jaehyun the signal to lead you to the bedroom. It was beyond Jaehyun’s morals to fuck you while you’re high but he couldn’t find any other way to silence you. The soft mattress was soon adorned with scattered clothing and two lovers. Each sensation of Jaehyun inside you drove you to a frenzy, it gave you a feeling of bliss that you never felt before. You loved the stars, you love the galaxies. Tonight, you didn’t have to be an astronaut to see the universe unfold before you.

“I want to live with you forever.” You whispered against Jaehyun’s lips.

--

Jaehyun clinked his glass with Johnny. The dark whiskey swirled inside the glass as Jaehyun started at his aged reflection.

“Hey, Jae?” Johnny called out to him.

“Yeah?”

“Do you still remember Y/N?”

Johnny’s question made Jaehyun’s heartbeat race. The memories of his time exploration last night was enough to answer Johnny’s question. But Jaehyun refused to tell Johnny all about it. The older man would probably just conclude it as an “aging hallucination.”

“Yeah, I do. Why?”

“I still wonder what happened to her.” Johnny answered. “It was as if she vanished from everyone’s memory.”

“Me too.”

“Did you regret it?”

“What?” Jaehyun looked at Johnny, confused.

“Did you regret getting her into drugs?” Johnny said. There was a hint of sterness in his tone.

“What kind of question is that, John?” Jaehyun retorted.

“I’m just wondering.” Johnny took a sip of his whiskey before continuing. “If she hadn’t started drugs, who knows where she would be right now.”

“Are you blaming me?” Fury was starting to ignite within Jaehyun.

“I’m not?” Johnny asked. “But based on your reaction, I have a feeling you do regret what you did to her.”

Perhaps Johnny was right. The reason why Jaehyun still chooses to reminisce his days with you was because he blamed himself for what happened to you. But that’s not something he will admit, not even to his best friend.

Pill #3

This time it was different. Instead of Jaehyun living as the past Jaehyun, he couldn’t do anything but watch as his old self seat in front of the university dean - as if he was a bystander in his old life. He tried to catch the attention of the old Jaehyun, but it was as if he wasn’t even there.

“Do you know that this could get you kick out from the university?” The dean spoke with anger laced in his voice. “When did you even start?”

“5 months ago.” Jaehyun replied with a small voice.

“Look, I’m only giving you another chance because your father is a benefactor of this university.” The dean leaned in, emphasizing every word he said. “If I caught you slipping one more time, it’s over for your stay in the university.”

All Jaehyun did was watch the dean with furious eyes. He wanted to scream but he knew that he wouldn’t get anything good out of it. The dean’s warning went through one ear and out the other. He huffed before leaving the office. Anger rushed through every vein in his body.

Outside the office, you fiddled with your thumbs. The Johnny was beside you who busied himself by kicking rocks off the pavement. Your licked your extremely chapped lips. No amount of lip balm could smooth them away. It was starting to worry you; the whole fiasco of your life falling apart worried you. You wanted to quit, but you didn’t want to leave Jaehyun alone.

“How did it go?” You asked once you saw Jaehyun come out from the office.

“They’re giving me one last chance.” He replied. He took your hand in his and rubbed his thumb on the back of it. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Dude, this is getting worse.” Johnny said quietly. He was geniunely concerned for the welfare of his two friends.

“Johnny, if you have nothing else better to do than blame me,” Jaehyun cocked his head in bubbling anger. “Then just fucking go away.”

Johnny clenched his jaw at Jaehyun. He knew better than fighting with Jaehyun since it could lead to more trouble. He trudged his feet away from the two of you.

“He was only trying trying to help.” You said, carefully.

“So, you’re on his fucking side now?” It was you he was cocking his head at.

“No,” You defended. “Of course not. Look, let’s just go home.”

The walk back to his dorm was quiet. It wasn’t filled with deep talks and laughter as it used to. It was filled with anxiety and trembling fingers. The cold air of Jaehyun’s room greeted your frail body.

“Jaehyun,” You called out to him. “I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“What?” he turned around to face you. “What do you mean? You don’t want to see me again?”

“No! I do want to see you again.” You replied. “It’s- We have to quit, Jaehyun.”

Tears were forming in your eyes as you whispered the last sentence. You fear that he wouldn’t understand. You wanted so bad to say that it was his pain that caused this.

“We’re hurting people, Jae.” You whispered. “We’re about to hurt ourselves.”

“You don’t understand, Y/N.” Jaehyun said. “You don’t understand anything.”

“Jaehyun, trust me, I’m trying to understand you.” Your voice was starting to shake. “But, this is ruining us.”

“No, we’re not quitting.” Jaehyun said firmly. “This isn’t ruining who we are. You said you felt happy. Did you lie?”

The response he got was your first sob. This was the first time you sobbed in front of Jaehyun. You were vigorously shaking your head, trying to get him on the same page as you.  

“I’m failing my classes, Jaehyun.” You held back a sob. “I’m losing who I am. I don’t know who the fuck I am anymore.”

“You’re still the Y/N I love.”

“You did this to me!” You exclaimed, your voice accompanied with your cries. “You did this to me, Jaehyun. I can’t do this anymore.”

“And now what? You’re gonna leave me?” Jaehyun’s eyes was starting to water themselves. “Okay. Go on. Leave me.”

“Why do you keep on doing this to me?” You were running out of energy to fight.

“What?”

“Everytime I try to help you out of this, you just turn the game against me.”

“Why the hell is everyone portraying me as the bad guy here?” Jaehyun’s tone turned louder. “It’s not my fault my parents fucking divorced and it made me fucking messed up!”

“Jaehyun-” He cut you off.

“You will never understand anything, Y/N.”

“Why do you act as if you’re the only one with all the problems here?” You tried to match the angry tone of Jaehyun, even though it was scratching your throat. “Do you even remember that you were the one who get me into drugs?”

“It’s not my fucking fault you were too much of a coward to resist, Y/N.”

His sentence broke you. All of the patience and the temper you held for him - in understandin him - vanished in a snap. Tears were falling like thunderstorms on your cheeks. Slamming the door behind you, you walked far away from Jaehyun’s dorm.

Watching from a safe distance, the present Jaehyun remembered this scene all too well. The betrayal he felt in his heart. He wanted so bad to run and get in between you and the old him. He wanted so bad to tell you that he was willing to quit.

With present Jaehyun watching you from a far, he saw that you bumped into Johnny near the campus.

“Fuck, Y/N.” Johnny held your wrists. “What the fuck happened?”

All you did was cry on his chest. Johnny tightened his grip around you as he let the front of his shirt be soaked with your angry tears. Jaehyun watched - his admiration for his best friend only blossomed. Somehow, he wished that it was Johnny you fell in love with.

“Will things ever be okay for us?” You whispered.

“It will.” Johnny answered. “I promise you, it will.”

He was willing to do lose his happiness for you. All he could do, however, was wish it was what the old him was thinking.

Pill #4

Just like the last time, Jaehyun could only watch. He could only watch as you tossed and turn in your bed, sobbing your eyes from the pain. Jaehyun wished you were crying because of him, but he’s entirely certain you weren’t.

You wish you listened to Johnny. The amount of times he held you and Jaehyun from returning to drugs. You felt magical, that was your argument. All your life, you wanted to feel something.

You laid in your bed, it was the only thing you could do for now. Your spine felt like it could snap into two whenever you attemp to sit or stand up. There was a crawling feeling behind your face and you wanted so bad to peel your face and scratch it off.

“Make it stop, oh my god, make it stop!”

All you could do was cry. Your whole body was in pain, it was burning, aching, pounding all the same time. Your tongue swirled around your mouth to find something moist. You pressed your fingertips on your cheeks again as the crawling sensation was getting worse. You were restless but all you wanted was to sleep. The pounding in your head worsened each breath you take.

All you did was cry. And all Jaehyun could do was watch in pain. You screamed and screamed, hoping someone outside your door would hear you. Two girls came bursting through your room door as they scurried to call 911.

“Oh my god, Y/N, what happened?” A girl who Jaehyun remembered as Nayeon asked you in panic.

“Kill me! Oh god, kill me!” You pleaded, your voice scratching.

A boy came and carried your heaving body outside the door.

This was a scene Jaehyun never saw. It was as if the pills was nothing more than just a punishment for abandoning you. He cursed at himself for ever thinking that he could save you.

There was a stabbing pain through Jaehyun’s chest. The area where his forearm meets his wrist had a piercing sensation. The world was closing in on Jaehyun’s body. And he let it.

--

Jaehyun knew what happens next. 30 years ago, he was admitted to the hospital for overdosing on drugs. He knew that you were staying on the floor beneath his. Yet, he did nothing. He didn’t check up on you, he didn’t contact your parents to find out if you were even alive or responding. Jaehyun had many regrets in his life, but he could never find one regret that he resents more than that one.

“Hey,” Jaehyun slowly entered Johnny’s office.

“Hey.” Johnny responded. The argument from last night was still lingering between the two man.

“Look, Johnny, I’m sorry.” Jaehyun started. “It’s just that what happened during that time in college was really hard to me.”

“I know, Jaehyun.” Johnny said. “I’m sorry I even brough Y/N up.”

“I appreciate your concern for me, John.” Jaehyun reassured. “It’s not your fault I couldn’t own up to my mistakes.”

“I just miss her, you know?” Johnny stared at the whiskey in front of him. “I wish she was here celebrating accomplishments with us.”

“I miss her too, buddy.” Jaehyun whispered. “It hurts not knowing where she is or if she’s even alive right now.”

“I remember going to arcades and flower field with her.”

Jaehyun could only nod and smile at his best friend. What happened back in college was something sensitive even between close friends. Jaehyun only stayed friends with a few people from college.

“I feel like we need let the memory of Y/N go.” Jaehyun spoke again, breaking into a sincere smile. “I don’t know if we’ll ever see her again but all I could do right now is pray that she’s happy and well.”

“You really think we can’t see her again?” Johnny’s demeanor showed remorse.

“I don’t think she’ll want to see me again, anyway.” He replied.

--

Pill #5

The eerie sound of a machine beeping filled Jaehyun’s ears. The first thing he saw as he opened his eyes was the horizontal lines of light in the ceiling. He squinted before looking around the room. A doctor clad in a white coat was besides the hospital bed.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Jung?” The doctor asked, shifting his eyes from Jaehyun and back to his clipboard.

“Uhm, I’m thirsty.” Jaehyun spoke. “And a bit groggy.”

“I’ll run a few test first before I could speak on your condition.” The doctor said. “For now, I’ll have someone come up with water. Please rest now.”

Jaehyun nodded. He laid his head back into the pillow, squinting his eyes from the light. Before the doctor could leave, he turned around and said, “This is your last chance, Mr. Jung.”

Jaehyun remained stagnant over the doctor’s sentence. Last chance at living? He knew that. He knew that he overdose and if he did it again, it would cost him his life. The doctor’s last words remained in his mind. He wasn’t sure if he remembers that happening years ago.

“Hey, buddy.” Johnny entered the room slowly.

“Hey.” Jaehyun’s eye lit up at the sight of his friend.

“How are you?” The look on Johnny’s face wasn’t something Jaehyun expected. A blurred red rim around his eyeballs and his eyelids looked swollen.

“Have you been crying?”

“Of course I am! I just received a message that you overdosed! What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I’m sorry for lashing out the last time.”

“It’s alright.” Johnny said. “I’d rather have you mad at me than you dead.”

“You’re the best, Johnny.” Jaehyun chuckled.

“Y/N is just under this floor.” Johnny said out of the blue. “Do you want to visit her?”

“No.” The answer was automatic - as if Jaehyun didn’t have to think before muttering an answer.

“I’m guessing things didn’t end well between the two of you?”

“It’s for the best.” Jaehyun revealed.

“Why the hell do you not want to visit her downstairs?”

I saw her suffer.

“I don’t know.” Jaehyun sighed. “I promise I’ll talk to her once I’m out of here.”

Jaehyun felt his eyelids became heavy. He laid back as the world spinned around him one last time.

Jaehyun was walking. A second ago, he remembered falling asleep in the hospital bed. The next thing he knew, he was with father, walking towards the exit of the hospital. As he walk through the hallways, he passed by the room you were assigned to. A doctor pushed her way into the door of the room. The gap made by her action gave Jaehyun a small glimpse of what was inside. Tubes and machines were attached your face. The brief glimpse failed to give Jaehyun a look if you were awake.

He turned away. Y/N wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me.

Each step he took reminded him of something you said.

“I like the universe.” Step.

“I like you too.” Step.

“I want to live with you forever.” Step.

“Make it stop!” Step.

“Where the heaven are we?” Step.

Jaehyun glanced back at the hospital gate. His breathing deep but steady. The cold, winter breeze pushed back against his rigid body as he stared into the clear doors of the hospital. It was a battle; his legs telling him to run through the gates but his mind didn’t cooperate. A rational part of his brain told him to go back but he did the opposite, pivoting towards the parking lot where his dad was headed.

Jaehyun’s heart tightened, his eyes threatening to let the tears go. Finally, he realized why the hell he was reliving the past. All his life he wanted to know what happened to you. Now, here he is - outside the same hospital he last heard you were in. He was a few steps away from the answers. A summer image of you with the brightest smile flashed before him. He wanted to go back. His vision was starting to go black. With rapid breaths, he turned around. The black dots where getting larger but he fough through it. He blinked and swing his head, hoping it could stop the world was falling in front of him.

As he was about to push the gates open, the world turned dark.

--

Jaehyun couldn’t believe it. He had one shot of finding out and yet he screwed it up. He let out a painful groan on his pillow. He scurried back to the bathroom and messily searched for the orange cylinder.

Empty.

The chances were out.

“Fuck!” He gripped the roots of his hair in frustration.

Jaehyun leaned on the sink and took deep breathes. The pain was dormant for the longest time now, and then suddenly it erupted like hot lava. It burned all corners of his heart - even corners that belonged to Adelaine.

Jaehyun could only weep, as the aching hole in his heart stinged worse than before.

--

The river reflected the tall buildings of the city. A pink hue was starting to paint all over the wide skies. There is a great big world out there. He sighed as he reminisced his life. The laughter, the tears, the heartbreak - every single bit of what happened molded Jaehyun into the man that he is now. A man that new more than solving problems with bigger problems. It wasn’t easy cutting strings with stuff that made you feel limitless. But this is the real life - you are finite. No amount of liquor or grams of drugs could ever change that. There are definitely areas in Jaehyun’s life that he wished he could change. However, that would mean he never grew as a person. If Jaehyun could bring back one last thing before he returns to dust, it would be a chance to see you again. The age old question of where you are now was still unanswered. Some hoped you were alive, some decided to close that chapter of their lives completely. Jaehyun hovered the pen over the blank piece of paper.

Dear Y/N,

How are you? I hope life made you well. This is Jung Jaehyun. Do you remember the time you told me about why you decided to study physics? I hope you’re on your quest towards the answers to your questions. I am more than happy that the magnetic force of the earth helped me meet you. It’s not gonna be long until one of our bodies combust into nothing but stardust. And until then, I am eager to meet you again.

You met me at a happy point in my life. I was a promising student with a clear record. You were there during my peak and you were there when I collapsed. You know what? I don’t think I was happy I ever met you. If I didn’t know you, you wouldn’t have collapsed with me. Who knows where you would be if the addiction never happened. When you asked me if things were ever going to be okay for the both of us, I wish I never said yes. I wish I never promised you that things will get better because I am living in constant guilt that it only happened to me. Where are you now, Y/N?

I remember thinking to myself that I wanted to die before I turn 30. I joked about how I don’t have to worry about wrinkles because I really didn’t think I was gonna live beyond 25. But, the moment you told me you wanted to live with me forever - it made me think twice. You said you wanted to live with me forever - I don’t care if we’re lovers or friends - then, where are you now, Y/N?

Johnny, Taeyong, and Jungwoo misses you a lot. Why didn’t you come to the reunions? Did I hurt you that much? You should have come for them anyway. Johnny and Jungwoo still lives in the city. If you’d like, you can always visit them.

For all the things I’ve done, Y/N, I am so sorry. If I could turn back time once more, I would have done anything. In our next life, can you promise me that you’ll find me and tell me it’s alright? There’s still so much questions I cannot answer. My heart will always yearn for you.

What the hell happened to you? Where the heaven are you, Y/N?

Love, Jaehyun.

 a/n: was this too messy??? anyway, feedback is always appreciated.  if there are any plotholes or mistakes, pls let me know. i wrote this at the crack of dawn so. i hurt my wrist writing this fucking story lol i hope u liked it

[kutemouse]

Caught (Prologue)

Disclaimers: All “Save Me” webtoon and BTS MV/highlight reel/film references and plots belong to BTS and BigHit. Not sure who edited it or made it, but the “I’m Fine/Save Me” ambigram pic I used came from here. All pictures of Kim Taehyung belong to BTS and BigHit, I just edited them for my header. The picture of BTS came from Vogue Japan, I just edited it for my header. I got the Kim Taehyung Wings Film Gif from DannyBriz on Wattpad.

A Note from Kutemouse: Awwww, thank you for reading my stuff, @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash!

So, this sweet little mini series is inspired by several things… The movie 365 DNI, the Save Me webtoon, the BTS MV universe, and ideas I’ve come up with waaaaaay too late at night 😂 Honestly, I’m OBSESSED with the whole MV/highlight reel/wings films arc that started with The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1, and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to write a story inspired by it. So, kutie pie @chocolatewolfuniversitytrash, thank you for allowing this dream to come to light.

About the non-con request, I was all like, “EEEERRRRRRMMMMMMMM idk,” because I’ve never written non-con and therefore don’t… know… if I’m comfortable with it…? I will attempt to do my best. Either way, I hope you like what has come out of my brain 😅

Also, thank you to @btssmutheaven for revealing my drafts (NOT REALLY, ILY) to @taemaknae for reading my shit and loving it, and to @kpopyandere for being the best unnie account and helping me realize I can write all the yandere ideas I want.

Age Recommendation: 21+ (this is NOT one for youngsters, kuties, and is MOST DEFINITELY NSFW)

Genre: Mafia!AU w/ BTS, Jailbird!AU w/ Taehyung, Yandere!BTS

Warnings: ALL THE WARNINGS. Just kidding, uh… Swears. There are minors in this section but they do NOT do anything sexual. I ain’t about that kinda life, y’all. F*ckboy Taehyung. Fluffy friendship. Angsty jealousy. Mentions of drug use and alcohol consumption (NOT by minors tho). Yandere themes including unhealthy obsession and possessiveness. Making out. No smut in this part, but it’s heavy af.

🚨TRIGGER WARNING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH THE FOLLOWING.🚨

Mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of a parent abusing their child, mentions of sexual abuse, mentions of schoolyard bullying, mentions of a violent murder.

These are not fleshed out or detailed scenarios. When I say “mention,” I mean briefly discussed after it happened, not during, and definitely not in any detail whatsoever. You DO NOT have to read my work. You decide what you are comfortable with. All I want is for you kuties to be happy.

Word Count: 6.1k (WTF is this even allowed?!)

Summary: Kim Taehyung was the absolute love of your life… until he became a murderer. With him serving a life sentence in prison, you were finally free to live out the rest of your life however you wanted. Just when you thought you were at the top of your game, ready to take on the world, Taehyung reappears like a monster not even your worst nightmares could dream up. He gives you a year to fall in love with him, but now the question is, can monsters even be loved?

Master List

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Caught (Taehyung Series, Yandere, Smut, Angst) Prologue

I remember the first time I saw Kim Taehyung. We were both fifteen, just starting out in high school. Back then, I remember the way he lazily leaned against a locker with his arms crossed, seemingly waiting for someone. His hair was bleached a ridiculous bright blonde on the top and left brunette everywhere else. He had on dramatic, black eyeliner that served to accentuate his inky eyes, and he wore a studded leather jacket with his shirt and tie rather than the traditional uniform. Intrigued, I opened my locker and picked out my books for my next class, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

I saw him zero in on his target and take brisk, wide strides towards her as she twirled the combo to her locker. She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes as he caged her in by leaning down to whisper something in her ear. Suddenly, the hallway was filled with flirtatious giggles and I turned away, rolling my eyes. So he was one of those assholes.

I watched him do this with every single girl in our class. I swear, he had his routine down to a science. Chat her up, openly flirt, flirt some more until she caved in to whatever he desired, then drop her like a hot frying pan. It took a couple months for his interest to finally land on me.

“Hey.”

I didn’t bother to look up as I twirled the combination to my locker and popped it open.

“Hey,” he said louder.

I flicked a glance his way. “Do you need something?”

His eyes narrowed. “Do I look like I need anything?”

I huffed out a sigh. “What do you want, Kim Taehyung?”

He let out a snort, leaning against the locker next to mine the same way he’d done a thousand times with a thousand other girls. “So you know my name, but I don’t know yours. You’re new, right?”

“I transferred in at the beginning of the year,” I said impatiently. “And we’re in the same class, so you should know who I am.”

Taehyung’s lips curled up into a playful smirk. “Really? No, that can’t be right. I definitely would’ve remembered you.”

I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut, walking quickly away. Taehyung jogged to keep up. “Just tell me your name,” he insisted.

“Why?”

“C’mon, I’m just trying to make friends.”

I whirled around, stopping both of us in our tracks. “Friends? Is that what you’ve been doing with every other girl here? Just making friends?”

Taehyung smirked once more and took a step towards me. I don’t know why, but I took a step back. I should’ve held my ground, should’ve told him to fuck off right then and there. Instead, I let him back me up against the wall and entrap me within his darkened gaze, the same way he would for the next three years of our lives.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear, his breath tickling the skin of my cheek. “We can be more than friends… but first, you have to tell me your name.”

I shoved him off me and practically sprinted down the hall, cheeks aflame with embarrassment. My peers and classmates who saw the exchange teased me for weeks afterward, no matter how much I kept my head down and avoided Taehyung like my life depended on it. It wasn’t until I heard him telling off some of the more tenacious gossipers I decided to give him another chance.

I tapped him on his shoulder as he stood in front of his locker. His eyes widened when he turned to see me standing there. “I’m L/n Y/n,” I said meekly. “And I wanted to thank you for what you said to those people.”

“You heard that?” he asked, the skin of his neck flushing pink.

I nodded.

“You’re welcome,” he said, tossing me a boxy grin.

That day, a seed was planted that eventually grew into a steady, beautiful friendship. A year later, I had come out of my shell quite a bit thanks to Taehyung, and I had a solid group of mates that I adored and relied on. Tae was my best friend, and I was his. Of course, we still got teased quite a bit about being a couple, but I figured we were both long past that.

Taehyung matured alongside our friendship. He stopped wearing thick eyeliner and sporting ridiculous hair colors, instead opting for a softer, more natural look with caramel brown locks and the unblemished glow of his slightly-tan skin. Gone were his dramatic, attention-seeking ways. His voice also deepened, dropping almost an entire octave. Yet despite all of his changes, he still stayed an absolute fuck-boy, shagging a new girl every other week. I came to realize it was all part of his personality, though, and I loved him no matter what.

The summer before our senior year was when I realized that love ran way deeper than friendship. We were at my best girlfriend Chaeyoung’s house when Taehyung stumbled in with yet another girl, his hair freshly dyed a bright cerulean blue. “Hey everyone!” he called out, slinging his arm around the girl’s shoulders. My smile faded as I looked over and noticed she was beyond gorgeous, with waist-length black locks that seemed to flow down the perfect curve of her back. I shuddered as a green monster reared its ugly head deep within me.

Taehyung was with that girl for a few months, which by his standards, was practically a lifetime. The entire time they were together, I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff about to swan-dive into devastating heartbreak. Each time I saw him kiss her, each time I saw him smile at her, each time I saw him lean over and whisper something in her ear, a piece of my soul shriveled up and died. I did my best to put my feelings aside, knowing I already had my chance and he would probably never look at me that way again. Even after they broke up, I kept my love for him tamped down and tucked away deep in the recesses of my heart, scared of ruining our friendship.

His break-up only served to draw us closer together, and slowly, without me realizing it, our friendship began to bloom into something more. Taehyung and I started to tell each other everything, including the messed-up secrets our home lives made us keep. One day, we were sitting in an empty classroom after school. I was trying to study, but kept getting distracted by Tae staring longingly out the window. “What’re you looking at?” I finally asked, putting my pencil down.

“Nothing,” he said simply. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About when we’ll finally get out of here.”

I smiled, my heart thumping a little faster. “We?”

He turned and tossed me his signature boxy grin. “Yeah. We. We’ll make it out of here someday, Y/n. I’ll get away from my bastard of a dad, you’ll get away from your selfish mother, and we’ll have a house in the country with big, open fields and plenty of space to finally fucking breathe.”

I smiled and stored those words away, using them to comfort myself whenever my mother and her asshole of a boyfriend wouldn’t stop yelling at each other, or worse, when they’d pass out on the couch, too drunk or high to stay coherent.

One night around three in the morning, my phone began to buzz and didn’t stop until I finally popped an eye open, fumbled around for it in the dark, and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I mumbled.

“H-Hey.”

I sat up. “Taehyung?”

“Y/n, I n-need your help,” he said shakily. It sounded like he was… crying?

I immediately got out of bed and pulled some jeans on. “Tae, it’s okay,” I said soothingly, trying to hide the panic I was feeling. I knew Taehyung’s home life was extremely hard. In fact, most of our home lives were terrible. The only two in our friend group who even came close to “privileged” were Chaeyoung and Jin, and that was because their parents had more money, not less problems.

I myself had plenty of issues. The reason my mother and I moved here when I was fifteen was to escape her abusive boyfriend, and even then, we still lived in constant fear of him finding us again. I guess that fear drove her into the arms of the first strong-looking man who looked twice at her, because her new boyfriend, Manseok, seemed to fit the same abusive pattern. At least he didn’t hit her when he was sober.

I wasn’t exactly sure how terrible Taehyung’s life was until the night he called me. At his request, I stole a few bills from my mom’s purse as well as her ID and put us up in a cheap motel room for the night. Jumping up when I finally heard his knock, I quickly pulled the door open to reveal Taehyung, his blue hair stringy from the rain outside. He was panting like he ran all the way there. I covered my mouth with my hands as the dim lighting revealed his left eye swollen shut, covered in nasty shades of scarlet and purple. His lip was split and bleeding, and his right cheek had another bruise and cut creeping down to his jawbone. The worst part, though, were the red finger-shaped marks that covered his neck.

“Y/n,” he croaked out. I held open my arms and he fell into them, not leaving their safety until well into the morning. I iced his black eye and bruises as much as I could, and bandaged the cuts that covered his face. Taehyung’s face was pressed into my chest, his breathing deep and even as he finally slept.

I decided then and there I’d never let him go.

Thankfully, Taehyung felt the same way. Within a week, he brushed off every other girl he was chatting up and focused all of his attention on me. We spent hours with each other after school, either in person or on the phone, and it became a common occurrence for him to intertwine his fingers with mine or peck me sweetly on the cheek.

I quickly grew dissatisfied, sick of the friendship barrier preventing us from taking things further. We spent an entire day together one weekend, talking, laughing, walking the streets, and trying different foods from vendor carts. As the sun started to go down, Taehyung wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his chest into my back. He was teasing me, I forget about what, and he leaned down to kiss my cheek when I turned at the last second and let him peck my lips instead. I laughed as his dark eyes grew wide with shock.

That was all it took, though. One kiss, and he was mine. Or rather, I was his. Afterwards, he pulled me into a deserted alleyway and we kissed until the sun completely disappeared. As the stars appeared in the sky above, Taehyung asked me to be his girlfriend, murmuring in my ear about how much he loved me and how he had never stopped loving me, even after I turned him down. With my heart practically bursting, I readily agreed.

Back then, Taehyung had a knack for getting in trouble, and me being his new girlfriend did nothing to hinder that side of him. He was definitely the “bad boy” of our school, constantly rebelling against the system by swapping his uniform for street clothes and ditching classes. His favorite form of rebellion, however, was street graffiti. He loved spray-painting words and drawings all over the walls of our neighborhood alongside his best friend, Namjoon. Tae was nearly caught by the cops a couple of times, but thanks to his quick instincts, he managed to give them the slip.

Still, a boy with bright, blue hair was bound to stand out, so after a couple nights of close calls, Taehyung finally dyed his hair back to that soft, caramel brown that I loved running my fingers through. We sat together at a bus stop, watching cars and people go by with fingers intertwined, when Tae stood and pulled a paint can out of his jacket pocket.

“Again?” I asked. Despite my teasing tone, I smiled up at him.

Taehyung tucked his bottom lip between his teeth with a grin as he sprayed something onto the panel beside us. “Look,” he said once he was finished, tilting his head to admire his work.

I stood up to see the words “I’m fine” sprayed in green. The font was the most interesting part, though, too curly in comparison to Taehyung’s usual writing. “Now look at it from upside-down,” Tae said.

I threw him a skeptical look before obediently curving my neck and scoping out the piece of art as best I could. “Save me,” I read out loud.

Taehyung nodded. “It’s for us,” he murmured.

I looked up at him, emotions surging through me like a waterfall surging down a cliff. “It’s beautiful,” I said, my voice cracking.

Taehyung looked at me, concern filling his features. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

“I-I have s-something to tell you,” I stammered.

With many tears and a shaky voice, I began to explain to Taehyung the events that had transpired only a few nights before. How my mom’s boyfriend had quietly snuck into my room while she remained passed out on the couch. How he had told me to be quiet as his hand started stroking my arm. How he had held his hand over my mouth and yelped when I bit him. How I had screamed so loud our neighbors called the cops. How he was carted away by the police with my mother shrieking the entire time about how I was a brat and a dramatic liar.

Taehyung’s gaze grew darker with each word. “That bastard,” he spat, clenching his fists. “I will end that motherfucker.”

“Taehyung, stop,” I sighed. “It’s over. For now, at least. I’ll stay at Chaeyoung’s until graduation.”

“What do you mean? He’s not going to jail?”

I hung my head. “My mom left to pay his bail an hour ago.”

Taehyung slammed his fist into the same panel he just graffitied. “So that jerk is going to walk free?!”

I stood up and ran my hands soothingly over his shoulders. “For now. I’m going to press charges, but in the end, it’s my word against his. Who knows how the system will treat him.”

Taehyung let out a feral growl, turning away from me. “I’m sick of this shit,” he snapped. “My dad, your mom’s boyfriend… neither of them should be walking free after everything they’ve done.”

Not knowing what else to do, I hugged him tightly from behind. “Just another few months,” I said quietly. “And then we’ll be out of here. A house in the country, just like you said.”

“That’s not good enough,” Tae snapped, turning back towards me. My mouth parted in surprise as I looked into his eyes and saw something there I’d never seen before. It was like a slow-burning flame, one that hadn’t yet risen into a raging wildfire, but threatened to if it wasn’t quickly put out.

Taehyung suddenly grabbed my hand and tugged me down the street. “I’m dropping you off at Chae’s,” he said. “And then I want you to stay there for the next twenty-four hours. I don’t want you going out for any reason, you understand me?”

“Taehyung, what are you saying? You’re scaring me.”

He stopped walking, turning so we were facing each other once more. The flame I saw earlier began blazing, turning rapidly into something uncontrollable and destructive I didn’t know how to stop. “This ends tonight,” he growled.

True to his word, he dropped me off at Chaeyoung’s, not leaving until he made me promise I wouldn’t go out until he said so. After a week, with Tae’s permission, I went home to get some clothes and personal items only to find my mom sitting on the couch, strung out of her mind. “Is he here?” I asked tentatively.

She raised her red-rimmed eyes to meet mine. “Who?”

“Manseok. Your jerk of a boyfriend.”

My mom shrugged and scoffed. “Haven’t seen that bastard for a couple days now,” she said, her words slurring together. “He upped and left us. Stole some money from me to do it, too.”

The feeling of relief that I felt was short-lived once I remembered that asshole would probably be back for more, just like the others. I quickly gathered my things and left, stopping only to make sure my mom had enough food for the next few days.

Ever since that night, Taehyung withdrew into himself. He still held my hand and kissed me, but it was distant, emotionless, like he didn’t know how to feel his feelings for me anymore. He weirdly became somewhat possessive of me, keeping me practically glued to his side whenever he was with me, and constantly texting me when we weren’t together. Whenever other boys looked my way, Taehyung shot them down with harsh words and incessant bullying our friends joined in on. I insisted they stop that kind of behavior, and for a while, I thought Tae and his friends complied. It wasn’t until much later in life when I realized they never truly stopped. They just got better at hiding it.

One night, I was at Namjoon’s place waiting for Tae when Joon’s phone rang. “Taehyung?” he said, turning away from me when I looked up. “Hey, calm down. You did what?!”

He stood up quickly. I motioned for him to put it on speaker, but he waved me off. “Okay, stop. I’m coming over right now. Just stay put, dammit.”

Joon grabbed his jacket and rushed towards the door. “Wait!” I cried. “What happened?!”

“Nothing that concerns you,” he snapped. “Stay here. I’ll bring Taehyung to you, alright?”

Neither of them came back. Before the sun even thought of rising, I determinedly ran all the way to Taehyung’s apartment, desperate to see him and make sure he was alright. As my sneakers pounded against the pavement and my breath started coming out in ragged gasps, I suddenly felt a hand grasp my forearm and yank me into a side alley.

“What are you doing here?” a voice growled as I yelped in surprise. I looked up to see Jungkook standing there, glaring at me.

“I want to see Taehyung,” I retorted, ripping my arm from his grasp.

He crossed his arms. “Not gonna happen.”

“Like hell it’s not!” I snapped. “Where is he?”

Jungkook grabbed the front of my jacket, preventing me from pushing past him. “Go home, Y/n.”

“Absolutely the fuck not!”

Sick of my shit, Jungkook picked me up, threw me over his broad shoulder, and carried me out of the alleyway. I kicked and screamed the entire way. He set me down once we were on the main street. “Taehyung will call you when he can,” he said firmly. “I won’t say it again, Y/n. Go home.”

“No!” Tears welled up, and I furiously swiped them away. “I’m his girlfriend! Tell me where he is right now or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Jungkook snapped. “Y/n, you don’t even know where he is. Fucking leave, or I’ll carry you all the way back to Chae’s myself.”

It didn’t take much longer for me to realize Jungkook wouldn’t relent. Eventually, I went back to Chaeyoung’s and spent the day staring at the wall beside my bed. What did Taehyung do? What were his friends protecting him from? When had things gotten so fucked up?

My questions were never answered. After a full week of silence, complete with him missing school, Taehyung showed up at Chae’s place asking for me. “She doesn’t want to see you,” Chae snapped, closing the door as I meandered into the entry hall.

Taehyung stopped her by slamming his palm against the wood. “Please, Chae,” he begged.

Recognizing his deep tenor, I walked up and put my hand on my bestie’s shoulder. “I’ve got this, Chae,” I murmured. She left with a huff.

Taehyung looked terrible. Dark circles ran under both eyes like he’d spent multiple nights without sleep, his hair was unkempt, and his skin was much too pale. Without another word, I immediately took him inside and dragged him up to my room. He took a shower in my en suite bathroom while I washed his clothes. After he dressed, we sat on my bed, still not speaking. “What happened?” I finally asked.

He tossed me a weak smile. “Life happened.”

I shook my head in disgust. “You leave me for an entire week with no explanation, and that’s all you have to say?”

“Baby girl, please,” Taehyung said, clasping my hands in between his large, rough ones. “I’m sorry I left you alone. I asked the guys to keep an eye on you, and they said you’ve been doing fine.”

“Fine is an overstatement,” I snorted, tearing my hands from his grasp.

He didn’t relent, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his broad chest. “Let go,” I ordered, trying and failing to push him away.

“No,” he said simply, tightening his hold. “I love you, Y/n. Everything that happened this past week happened for us. For our dream.”

I managed to pull back enough to look up into his eyes. The spark of mischief that normally resided there was gone, replaced by a dull sombreness that made me ache inside. Whatever had happened that week completely changed Taehyung for good. He was no longer quick to smile or joke, and I began to yearn for the blue-haired boy of the past. I couldn’t tell him that, though. Despite everything, I still loved him.

A month passed, and as our graduation approached, Taehyung talked more and more about moving out to the country. I responded enthusiastically outwardly, but on the inside, I didn’t know if moving out was such a good idea. It wasn’t just the way he had changed. It was having issues with my mom as well. Since Manseok never came back around, her behavior grew more erratic each day. I moved back in to take care of her, and she depended heavily on me. I was afraid if I left, she would fall off the deep end again and never be able to make it back to the surface.

The last day I saw Taehyung dawned bright and filled with hope. “I’m feeling good today,” he announced, slinging an arm around my shoulders as we walked to class.

I smiled up at him, glee spreading through my limbs when I saw a trace of that mischievous spark back in his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He tossed me a grin. “I haven’t been able to go out and tag anything lately… but I kind of want to tonight. You in?”

“Of course.”

As night approached, we walked hand-in-hand down the street until Taehyung led us back to that bus stop where he painted the “I’m fine/Save me” ambigram. I sat on the bench and watched as he began to create something new. I don’t think he had a set plan. The painting started off in meaningless loops, the jet-black color standing out in stark contrast to the white behind it.

Suddenly, bright lights filled our vision flashing a blinding blue and red. “Freeze!” a loud voice yelled.

I remember Taehyung’s wide, dark eyes finding mine, filled with panic. I remember the rough skin of his palm sliding into mine and yanking me upright. I remember how we sprinted down the street, the fear of being caught pumping adrenaline through us. How he ran faster than me, tugging me along to keep up.

Taehyung looked back and pulled me into an alleyway to try and lose them. We turned a corner and met a dead end. With our backs pressed against the wall, I looked at Tae. “Dammit,” he panted, the corners of his mouth turning upwards despite our situation.

I began to run out the way we came, intending on dragging Taehyung with me, but he yanked me back, slamming me against the wall that entrapped us. He kissed me, feverishly pressing his tongue inside my mouth before I could stop him. He yanked my wrists upwards, pinning them almost painfully against the brick above us as his mouth continued exploring mine and his hands roamed up and down my body.

He pulled back, allowing me to finally suck in some oxygen, and even as I coughed, he continued pressing kisses from my cheek to my jaw to my neck. Tae finally stopped as loud voices and beams of flashlights got closer. “I love you, baby girl,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that.”

“Tae, what—?”

He stepped out from behind the corner, raising his hands in the air. I ducked down into the shadows the alley provided, scooting backwards and pressing my hands over my mouth.

“Get over here, punk,” a gruff voice commanded. I heard the grinding click of handcuffs closing over wrists as another voice began to read Tae his rights.

I scrambled to my feet, realizing too late what was happening. No, no, no, no, no. He couldn’t take the fall for both of us. Not like this. Still, even as I moved to step out into the light and reveal myself, something stopped me. I don’t remember exactly what it was. Possibly the thought of my mother, my friends, how close I was to graduation. Like I said, I don’t remember. All I remember was the panic I felt when I realized the love of my life had just been arrested.

I showed up late to class the next day, not wanting to answer questions from my friends about what had happened and why I looked like absolute shit. I realized my efforts weren’t needed when two detectives pulled me out of class and escorted me to the police station, causing my classmates to start buzzing with gossip like the annoying wasps they were.

“So… L/n Y/n,” the cop, Detective Kwak, said. I looked up at her, nervously twisting my hands in my lap. “You are dating Kim Taehyung, correct?”

I nodded slowly. She had brought me here for “routine questioning,” yet I began to suspect more when they put me in an interrogation room. “For how long?” the detective asked.

“About a year and a half,” I muttered.

“So your relationship was serious?”

“You could say that.”

“How serious?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”

“I  mean, how serious were you? Did you have plans for after graduation?”

“I guess. We were going to move in together.”

“Here in the city?”

“No,” I replied, shaking my head. “Somewhere far away.”

“Because of your troubles at home?”

It was then I got defensive. “What do you know about that?” I snapped.

Detective Kwak stared me down, an amused smile playing around the corners of her lips. “I know enough. I was promoted to detective only a month or so ago. Back in my street days, I was one of the cops called to your house.”

My mouth parted in surprise at her words.

“I remember that night pretty clearly,” she continued. “Your mom’s boyfriend attacked you, right?”

I swallowed hard and sank down in my seat, rubbing my arms with my palms in an effort to keep myself contained. “And she did nothing to defend you, correct?” the detective prodded.

“Stop,” I whispered.

“What about Taehyung? Did he do anything to defend you?”

“What the fuck is this about?” I burst out. “I thought you brought me here because… because…”

“Because of the graffiti?” she asked pointedly.

I nodded.

Detective Kwak leaned forward over the table. “Look, Y/n, I don’t give a damn about the fact you were his tagging partner in crime or whatever. This is much bigger than that.”

“What do you mean?”

She sat back and stared at me, her eyes like cold, dark tunnels. “Kim Taehyung has been charged with murder. His prints match a partial we lifted off of a crime scene.”

My mouth dropped open. “W-What?”

“That’s right,” she said. “We only identified the body yesterday. Does the name Lee Manseok mean anything to you?”

I froze as the syllables of my mother’s boyfriend’s name rolled off the detective’s tongue. She nodded at my reaction. “I thought it would. He was found in an abandoned warehouse about a week after he was killed. He’d been beaten to death.”

My blood ran cold, causing goosebumps to raise on the flesh of my arms. I shook my head fiercely. “No, that can’t be right,” I said. “The guy was a dick, anyone could’ve done that to him.”

“That’s what we thought at first. We first suspected his wife.”

“He… He has a wife?”

“And two kids,” the detective scoffed. “Your mom picked a real winner. But then we finally got Taehyung in custody thanks to your shenanigans last night and what do you know? His prints match the one we found at the crime scene.”

“You’ve got it wrong,” I said firmly. “Taehyung wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t he?” she asked, folding her arms over the table. “Sounds like he really loved you and would do anything to protect you.”

“No, there has to be a mistake. Even if Taehyung did kill him, it had to be out of self-defense or something.”

“Maybe so. But if you knock a guy out and then continue beating him until he dies, is it really self-defense?”

“It is if that guy could come back and hurt someone you love for revenge,” I retorted.

The detective’s face remained expressionless. “Unfortunately, the law says differently.”

“The law can go to hell for all I care.”

She chuckled. “Whatever you say, kid. Look, the crime scene revealed that more than one person beat the literal life out of Manseok. If Taehyung did this, he didn’t do it alone. Do you happen to know who else would have helped him commit murder?”

I stayed silent as I thought for a moment. Any of our friends could’ve helped him, with maybe the exception of Chaeyoung. I thought of Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, Yoongi and Joon. I thought of the way they moved around school like a unified group, making fun of anyone who wasn’t them and bullying people who got in their way, especially any other guy who dared look my way. Still, they wouldn’t have helped Tae commit flat-out murder, would they?

“Anyone at all?”

The detective’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. I shook my head. “No. No one.”

She sighed. “There’s something else. We’ve been trying to get ahold of Taehyung’s father, but he seems to be missing.”

“Missing?”

“Yes. He hasn’t shown up at his job at all in the past month and a half. His credit cards haven’t been used, either.”

“So?” I snapped. “The guy was an alcoholic, he could be holed up somewhere drinking himself to death.”

“Maybe so, but my guess is we’re going to find him in some abandoned building or maybe at the bottom of the ocean one day. Your boy, Taehyung? I’ll bet he’s the one who put him there.”

I slammed my palms on the table. “LIES!” I yelled. “He wouldn’t do that!”

“Wouldn’t he?!” Detective Kwak shouted, rising to her feet. “Tell me something right now, Y/n. Have you noticed him acting differently? Have you noticed any changes in his behavior?”

I immediately looked down at the ground. “No,” I muttered.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

“I said, NO!”

“Enough with the lies!”

“I’m not lying! You are!”

The detective opened her mouth to retort, then thought better of it and sat down instead. “The evidence doesn’t lie, Y/n,” she said.

“Look,” I said. “If you want someone to put in jail, put me in jail. Taehyung’s gone through enough in his life. Please don’t put him through this.”

“You know I can’t do that.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and I put my hands over my face and began to sob. Detective Kwak stood up and came around to my side of the table before placing a hand on my shoulder. Once my sobs began to cease, she offered me a tissue. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. “Thanks,” I muttered.

“Listen,” she said gently. “I’ve made arrangements for your aunt to come pick you up.”

I looked up at the detective in surprise. “My aunt?”

“Yes. Your mom’s sister. She’s filed to gain custody of you, and in light of recent events, a judge granted it to her.”

“Wait, my mom’s sister? I thought she lived in America.”

Detective Kwak’s mouth visibly tightened. “No, actually, she lives in Busan. Seems your mom kept that from you as well. Your aunt’s been trying to get in contact with you, Y/n. She says she sent letters.”

I stared at the wall across from me. Every limb, every nerve ending, every cell in my body was starting to go numb. It was all too much. My boyfriend was a murderer, my mom’s ex-boyfriend was dead, Taehyung’s dad was missing, and now all of a sudden I had a long-lost aunt who was now my sole guardian?”

“She’s very well off,” the detective continued. “She’s even offered to pay for your mom to get treatment in a rehabilitation facility. Whatever future you have with her is sure to be a bright one.”

“If you say so.”

“I know so. I’ve met her, only briefly, but she seems very nice.”

I let the silence grow between us, not bothering to give a response. The detective finally sighed and sat back down in her chair across from me. “Y/n, Taehyung is going to jail for a very long time. Maybe even for the rest of his life. I suggest you move on with your life. Move to Busan. You’ll attend a great school there, and probably university as well. You can start down an entirely new path.”

The memory of Taehyung’s handsome face swam before my eyes, his bright, boxy smile lighting my insides on fire the way it had for the past year and a half. “What if I don’t want to?” I whispered.

“Well… That’s up to you. But the sooner you move on, the sooner you’ll stop feeling this pain.”

Detective Kwak stood up, motioning for me to stand up as well. “Come on. Your aunt’s waiting.”

We exited the interrogation room, the skin on my face itchy and dry from crying. I knew I probably looked like a mess, but I didn’t care.

“Y/n!” a deep, familiar voice shouted. I froze in my tracks, slowly raising my eyes to his inky ones. He struggled in the grip of two cops, his hands handcuffed behind his back.

“Hey baby girl,” he said, smirking. “Nice of you to come visit me.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Detective Kwak hissed.

“You said to move him into the interrogation room.”

“While it’s still occupied?!”

“Don’t worry,” Taehyung quipped. “We can share, right baby?”

“Get him out of here!” Detective Kwak snapped. “Now!”

The cops shoved Taehyung towards the interrogation room. I turned to look at him, desperation clenching at my heart. I realized this might be the last time I saw him, the last time I would get to tell him something. Anything. My mouth opened but no words came out.

“Don’t worry, baby girl!” Taehyung shouted, lurching towards me. “I’ll get out someday! And I’ll come for you! I will always come for you!”

I shook my head and felt tears prick at my eyes once more as the police wrestled with him. “I love you, Y/n!” he shouted just before they shut the door on him.

“Sorry about that,” Detective Kim said, holding a hand to her heaving chest. “You weren’t supposed to cross paths.”

“It’s okay,” I murmured, and to my own surprise, I meant it. I was glad I saw him one last time. I realized, in that moment, that the blue-haired boy I once knew and fell in love with was completely gone. His eyes, which once held a spark of playfulness and mischief, now held nothing but misery and woe. He let his anger for the world overtake him, allowing it to blaze a path of self-destruction that I could no longer follow.

Maybe the detective was right. Despite the fact that Kim Taehyung was the love of my life, maybe, just maybe, it was time to move on.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Part One is HEEEEEEERE! 😉

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 92 - Campfire Stories, Part 2

Added Note: This chapter was accidentally posted during #blackoutTuesday, and I tried to take it down before it was up for too long.

The cause hasn’t ended, we need to keep momentum going.  Please donate to naacp.com/coronavirus to help in the fight for health equity during the current pandemic, especially as the people who are protesting police brutality are risking their health to do so. 

________________________________

Okay, I promised I would post all the stories I received for this event, and I’m keeping my word... so we have Part 2 of the Campfire stories!

The one referenced at the opening of this chapter is an original of mine that I posted about a year ago, called “Lydia Woke Up”. Since it can be found through that link and on my blog, I didn’t want to include the whole story. Some of you have already read it, and I thought that would bog things down.

Also in this chapter, Grey’s story is adapted from this story on r/nosleep, only adjusted to fit the character and the story.  Grey’s creator submitted the story, so I don’t want to take credit for something I didn’t write.

Finally, the story Tyche tells is one I have told before, on another blog. The response is here, verbatim, in Tyche’s story.  However, the basis for the story is so common that it is classified as Aarne-Thompson type 706, a way of cataloguing folk tales. Rejectedprincesses.com has a version of this (Penta: The Handless Princess), and I originally read the Brother’s Grimm version. There is also a Xhosa variant that I highly recommend.

“...Finally, blessedly, Lydia didn’t wake up,” I finished, glancing around.

Charly was holding a hand to her mouth, and I couldn’t figure out if she was going to be sick or cry. Coffee was rubbing his chin thoughtfully.  Conor and Maverick were shaking themselves briskly, like they did when they woke up in the morning.

“That story is... disturbing,” Grey pronounced carefully.

Arthur shuddered and shook his head. “Somehow it’s even worse when you tell it, instead of just reading it.”

Tyche arched a brow at him. “Right?”

“What do you mean, instead of just reading it?” Charly’s question was only slightly muffled by her hand.

The arched brow switched targets, while one finger was flicked in my direction. “She wrote that story. Probably fifteen years ago?”

All eyes stared at me widely, except the two who already knew. “Wasn’t that a little...dark?” Conor asked.

I shrugged. “We’re telling scary stories, right?”

Both of my partners glanced at each other, and I knew I would be hearing about this later.  Fortunately, I was saved when Grey spoke up. “I have a story I read once, in the Before.”

“Is it as… bad, as Sophie’s?”

They shook their head. “My fathers were really good friends with the family who lived closest to us, but one day the head of that household was offered a very lucrative job far away. Both of my fathers were upset, but my mothers agree that they recovered rather quickly.  Within a month, the house was sold, and a new couple moved in. Mother Jacqueline said there was something off-putting about them.

‘They were constantly smiling,’ she always explained. ‘Every minute of the day, they had large, painful-looking smiles on their faces. And they were whiter than linen sheets, as though they never ventured outdoors.’

Father Jakob and Mother Sarah confirmed that Mother Jacqueline was not being judgemental, the new couple was odd in a way that disturbed all of my parents.  However, my parents were very strict about manners and social graces, so they still attempted to build a positive social relationship with their new neighbors. Mother Hodaya made a basket of sweet pastries, and all my parents went to introduce themselves.  The new neighbors answered the door shoulder-to-shoulder, with those strange smiles on their pale faces. My parents introduced themselves, but all agreed when they told the story that the couple would only say ‘We like you and you are welcome here always’.

My parents stayed for about an hour, and in that time the couple sat on their couch, shoulder-to-shoulder, still smiling, and would barely answer any questions. Not where they came from, not what they did for a living, just repeating ‘We like you and you are welcome here always.’ Eventually, my parents left, and the couple did not even escort them to the door.

The third day after the couple moved in is when strange events started occurring. First, they painted their house to resemble that of my parents - a light cream color with a thin blue stripe around it.  ‘The next day, as I tended the landscaping, the husband was outdoors also tending his landscape,” Father Issac would explain. ‘Which would not be of note, ordinarily. However, the man was wearing the exact same clothing and sun hat as I wore.  This troubled me deeply, so I addressed him directly. I was not aggressive or accusing, but I did make it clear that I felt there was no coincidence that this man had both painted his home to look like ours and clothed himself to look like me. But he only stared at me with that permanent smile.’

After that, my parents took it in turns to watch the couple more closely. Within weeks, the neighbors purchased a vehicle identical to that of my parents.  This time, Mother Sarah and Father Jakob went to speak with the couple. They asked directly why the couple felt the need to copy our family. The couple would only say ‘We like our neighbors. We like you.’ At that time, Mother Sarah saw something that upset her and made excuses for them to leave.  She would not explain why she was upset until they were back inside the house. All my parents sat together so Mother Sarah could tell them what she saw. Despite all her discipline, she was close to tears and clung tightly to Mother Hodaya and Mother Jacquelilne for comfort.

When she finally calmed down, she explained. ‘While we were at the home of the neighbors, I could see inside their bedroom.’ Mother Hodaya admonished her, but she continued.  ‘They left the door open, almost as if they wanted me to see.  And I am glad for my curiosity, as I saw something upsetting. Their bedroom… It looked identical to our own.’ 

All of my parents fell silent, only to be broken when Father Issac stood and left the room.  He returned shortly after, with recording equipment, which he set up in their bedroom, facing their door.  ‘The neighbors have never been invited into our home, nor have they been on the property that I am aware of.’

That night, none of my parents slept well, but they did eventually sleep. In the morning, they reviewed the recording. Surely enough, the neighbors somehow entered the house and came into my parents room.  However, their smiles were gone  Instead, their faces were contorted with murderous rage and hatred. 

Father Jakob and Father Issac, not prone to violence in ordinary circumstances, both gathered baseball bats from my brothers’ rooms and stormed over to the house next door. They pounded on the door, but no one answered. For the sake of protecting our family, they eventually decided to break down the door.

The house was empty. Even though the car was still outside, everything in the house was packed neatly in boxes, stacked in the living room, but the couple was gone. They never came back for their possessions, or their car. My parents took the recording to the authorities, and they searched everywhere for the pair. They were only able to find out that the identities used were stolen from a couple in another country. My parents packed up my family and moved far, far away for peace of mind.”

Polite applause followed the end of Grey’s story.  They stood up and gave a joking half-bow, smiling. “I am not certain of the veracity of the story, especially after so long since having read it.”

“You did a good job,” Maverick reassured her. “I liked it a lot.  It reminded me of some of the stories my dad would tell me growing up, about demons and spirits that could steal your face.”

“They appear in most cultures,” Tyche added. “We’re very attached to our identities. They’re something we build around ourselves, how we control what people perceive of us.  My identity is what makes me… well, me.” She held up a hand and looked at it thoughtfully. “Come to think of it, I have a story. A man - some say he is the devil, others say he is evil, or simply the evil that lives inside the father - passes the home of a farmer, or maybe a miller, one day. The man, maybe the devil, maybe his own lack of conscience, offers the homeowner either extreme wealth or just enough to get by, in exchange for what is behind the home.

Regardless of what the homeowner thought stood behind his home - whether it’s a cow, a pig, or a tree -  it is his daughter. She is always bright, lovely, pure, clean. So wonderfully pure and clean that evil cannot redeem its prize.” Tyche spat the word pure like it was an obscenity, and I fought the urge to smile as she continued.

“So the daughter is forced to stand - maybe in a magic circle, maybe tied, but always bound - and not allowed to bathe. Forced to become unclean. However, her weeping washes her hands, and they remain pure and clean. So, the evil that pushes the hand of her father forces him to cut off her hands, thinking to remove the last clean part of her.

Of course, regardless of the evil, the reasoning, or the binding, she weeps over the wounds. Because she is still faultless by virtue of her sorrow at her circumstance - her lack of autonomy, her mutilation, the betrayal of her parent, she is in no way complicit, regardless - the evil still cannot touch her. Finally, it surrenders, leaving her unwhole.

She leaves, seeking her own fortune. Whether it is because she is cast out or because she was no longer wanted, betrayal is betrayal. Either way, she later meets a king, who finds her bright and lovely, and marries her. He always has new hands crafted for her, always - by might or magic - of silver.

But what happens between ‘happily ever’ and that ubiquitous 'after’?

She bears a child. Changeling or simply a girl, because of the child she is driven out by the king or his family. Regardless, she is again abandoned to cruel fate.

This time she happens upon a hut. An angel, a witch… It depends who is telling the story, but someone has mercy upon a single mother - the only true mercy in her life -  and allows her to raise her child in the same humble manner she herself was raised. The child - changeling, or girl, or maybe both, it doesn’t matter - grows strong, and so does the mother’s hands. The silver hands fall away, always, replaced by her own that were lost to cruel whim.

After the child grows strong, they encounter the king in the wilderness. He follows this child - unwittingly his own - to their home. For healing, for succor, or simply for curiosity… The tales say any and all, but the reason doesn’t matter: after several years, the king sees his queen again. She is bright, and pure, and lovely, and clean, no matter what has happened in her life. And finally, she is whole. Whether by angel or witch - but never by man - she has found her wholeness.

The reunion scene happens - maybe he recognizes her, maybe she tells him. But here? Here, the tales always lie.

The tales say she always, always, forgives him, and 'ever after’ starts.”

As her singsong tone faded, everyone was left speechless. “I’ve heard that story before,” Conor spoke up, finally breaking the silence. “A different version, but the same tale.”

“It exists in most cultures, apparently,” Tyche clarified. “But her identity never changed, only how she looked on the outside.”

Almost everyone’s eyes threatened to pop out of their heads, except Arthur, who nodded. “That makes sense. It doesn’t make it any less fucked up.”

“Believe me, it gets worse,” she sighed airly, without clarifying.

Simon lunged forward to grab another drink. “Nope. No thanks. Worse than that is something I can live without, if I have the choice.”

Grey blinked slowly before composing their face. “Be glad you have that choice.”

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[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#33)

I’m back, I’m back! So here’s what happened...I watched 5x10 on October 1, never edited my note about it, then ended up taking an inadvertent break from watching until now. Idk why, but i needed a break from like...watching tv i hadn’t seen before. Anyone else have that habit of watching things you’ve already seen when you’re going through an anxious period? Starting a new job in the same month as the 2020 presidential election fit the bill, and i wanted to really immerse myself in the final three episodes of this amazing show properly so i decided to wait until i was feeling it! Anyway to the like three people who enjoy my recaps, i hope you enjoy these last four recaps.

So without further ado, aforementioned Oct 1 recap, now edited and underneath the cut:

5x10 yoooo I have never been so amused by Buddy Garrity in my life + TIM so here we go:

TIM RIGGINS RETURNS?! Yay!!! (This is my reaction just from seeing him in the “previously on.”)

Eric’s getting recruited at a ~fancy~ restaurant! Oh shitttt

“That, right there, marks the end of the East Dillon Lions football program led by Coach Eric Taylor.” “...It’s a crate of oranges.” “Yeah, and it’s from the sunshine state. From Florida! And that can only mean one thing—year round sunshine and college funding.” Lmao alarmist Buddy is hilarious and actually not wrong here. Lol incredulous Levi: “you got all that from a crate of oranges?!”

#OperationGetTimOut!! Is Eric going to speak for him as a character witness?

I *knew* that phone call from Oklahoma Tech wasn’t gonna be good. Ohhhhh Vince you should’ve listened to Eric~~~

Oh shit everyone’s buzzing about “losing their kingmaker” and it’s playoff time! Love a good car radio scene. “So how was it honey, are we moving to Florida?” Lol

“Dad, maybe we should just talk to Coach. I need to be focused on this game on Friday night, getting my spot back.” Yes Vince stand up for yourself, take a break from those meetings! I am fearful of his dad’s true reaction tho.

“Expelling Epyck, that was a good start.” Omfg some of these teachers are too cruel! That is a severely traumatized child, ma’am!

“Impromptu speeches...” “Impromptu means not planned, Buddy.” “Okay, then promptu.” I’M LIVING for these Buddy and Levi interactions omg hilarious.

“A man can’t leave if you erect a statue in his honor.” “A plaque?” “You got money for that?!” I cannot omfgggg Levi and Buddy should take this show on the road!

Tami’s “Oh Levi you are too much.” That’s a nice way to say “fuck you” for making her take a personal day to go speak on a panel he TOLD her she’s speaking at? Smh this is why staff needs unions.

Lmao Buddy is being so extra with Eric, I can’t

...and enter Billy, here to ask Eric a favor...

“Tim Riggins? One of the best fullbacks in the great state of Texas? The boy my girl fell in love with? Yeah I’ll do that.” Damn Buddy has a crush on Tim Riggins too!! I get it dude same.

“I believe in loyalty, Billy. Sticking with your people, through good and bad.” SO EXTRA LMAO

“Hey coach you going to Florida?” “I was planning on going home and I suggest you do too, Tinker.” Ugh poor Eric having to deal with all of these rumors and the team being endlessly curious right before the playoffs!

Awww Tami’s excited about the Florida houses. “Three years with a two year option.” Damn. Aw the way that Eric looks at Tami and you know he wants to give her everything she wants 🥺

Omggg now Buddy is making the players talk up Eric Taylor 😂 his scheming truly kills me

Becky and Luke tossing a football, so precious!

Ah, there’s more to life than college football, Luke! “No one wants me.” “I want you.” Aww Becky.

Aw Billy is getting so frustrated trying to write his speech for Tim. “It sounds ridiculous.” “No it doesn’t. You’re a good brother.” Oh Mindy 🥺 fuck prisonssss he should not feel like his words have so much bearing on his brother’s literal freedom!

Yes to Vince going to Eric and agreeing to earn his way back! That’s the Vince we know and love!

I love Eric telling Tami about Tim’s parole hearing. “You going to do it?” “You bet i’m going to do it.” My heart! The way there’s no question about it 🥺

Andddd Vince’s dad predictably refuses to let up with the recruiters. But this time Vince is standing up to him!

Yesss Vince, walk away! Especially after his dad yelled at him like that; this is not your life, it’s Vince’s!

“Don’t whack her. Just a little love tap.” LMAO Luke, Tinker, Becky, and a pig. Luke is giving Tinker pageant advice for Tinker at a competition with the pig?? I can’t, that’s weirdly so cute. Becky clearly finds it cute.

Omg Tim in his all-white prison uniform I HATE THISSS

OMGGGG “I don’t want Billy to speak, he’s done enough damage.” Fuck this is gonna fuck Billy UP. But also fair...I mean, Billy DOES tend to be a fuck up?? Isn’t that how we got here?

Yessss Tami going off explaining that standardized testing isn’t the end all be all!!

“what would you have us do, meet with every kind in the state?” “Yes I would.” to a round of applause. GO OFF QUEEN TAMI TAYLOR

Yes Coach Taylor! Give us one of your epic speeches!

Poor Tim looks like he has a lot of self hatred sitting here listening to Eric talking about him 🥺

“I asked him to be an assistant coach because of his character off the field.” YES

lol Buddy Garrity getting up to speak even tho he’s not on the list 🤣

“He’s like family to me.” OH BUDDYYYY he’s coming through with a full time job for Tim when he comes out?????? Tim’s smile of relief.

“It’s time for you to let Tim Riggins come home.” YESSSSS

AW Tim sent Eric letters from prison?? My poor babe. “I’m sorry I didn’t visit more.” “I’m sorry I let you down.” “You didn’t and that’s not why I’m here.” IM EMOTIONAL

Holy shit Vince’s dad is STILL not letting up? “I’m your father. I know what’s right.” “that is enough! Get off his back!” “He needs a father, not an agent!” YES REGINA GO OFFFFF she finally snapped!

(It’s wild how Coach possibly leaving is being used in this fight in Vince’s family. Oh, Dillon!)

Oh shit Billy is yelling at both Becky and Mindy, clearly very affected by what Tim said at his parole hearing. “You did everything you could and that makes all the difference.” Aww Mindy, and Billy apologized! Too much stress for such a young family! Also unrelated but Mindy looks mad hot for the athletic banquet.

Awww I love getting to see the other teams stand up. Yeah cross country, yes girls volleyball!!!

Man, playing a sport in Texas that’s not football must suck, look at that insane applause for football vs. weak for everyone else

Buddy giving Gracie a lil t-shirt and saying, “clear eyes, full hearts...you know it?” And they’re all like “can’t...lose” and Gracie giggles! Ok that’s cute af

Omg the tension between Jess and Vince!! “Jess, I miss you. I miss you.” 🥺 aw yeah she blew him off for her brothers

Wow they made it to the playoffs for the first time in 25 years?? Well here comes Buddy’s All Hail Eric Taylor pageant. Lmao

Awww these heartfelt addresses from the team members on how much Eric Taylor has changed their lives??? Manipulative, Buddy, really. He knows what he’s doing.

Yesss Eric, give Tami that massage. See y’all, this is what being a good man looks like.

“It had the desired effect. It sure made you think twice about leaving Dillon.” “It’s a hell of an offer. I’d own that building. They have funding.” “Mmm and oranges. Don’t forget about oranges.” “Mmm that pool.” They wanna leave.

“You know what I want more than anything right now? I wanna bring these boys to state.” “I know you do.” “They deserve it.” “I know they do. But after you do that, this offer is something to think about. Because you deserve that.” Ugh I know I say it a lot but since we’re in the final four episodes now and I’m mostly talking into the void anyway — god, what a model of a wonderful and gentle and loving and communicative marriage! I am continually floored!

Becky with cowboy boots at Luke’s farm works. And ooh Luke’s mom said hi to her?? Progress!!

Aw they’re talking about how pretty they find Luke’s farm as he tries to imagine a future here in Dillon. “I have an amazing imagination. I see your next game, and you’re winning.” Awww Becky is such a cute girlfriend.

What a cute shot of Luke and Becky on the farm, “you ever think you could imagine living on a farm?” “Sure.” AWWW

Vince at Eric’s door on game day?!!! He’s asking Eric not to take the offer to Shane State when he’s supposed to already be at the field house!?!

“Having you as a coach is one of the best things to happen to me. I don’t know where I’d be without you. Either in jail or in a ditch somewhere.” Damn forget Buddy this shit is from the HEART

Eric tells him to get in the damn car and tells him he’s starting!! “You know what your problem is? You ask too many damn questions.”

AHHHHH TIM IS HOME! Showered in a flannel! My heart! He salutes Becky with a beer!

Aww Billy is so excited to have his brother home.

It seems uneasy in the home. Coming back from prison is hard.

And here they go, heading onto the bus with signs and cheers!

“I’ll tell you, this is an away game, but you look around here at the community tonight and the young players that I have playing for me, and the character they got—no matter where this community goes, that’s home.”

Damn Eric just announced he was planning to stay home in Dillon to the press. “you’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” says Tami. “I love you.” and with the FNL theme song playing aghkliyb I’m not ready for the final three episodes ahhh!!!

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 2: Thriller •

A/n: I apologize for the possible spelling errors from the Torah scene. They didn't have it in the subtitles so I borrowed from the original script for authenticity, so I apologize for any incorrect information or spelling. Reader's scene is inspired by a scene from the conjuring cause I am unoriginal af and I am a fool for making myself do this since I hated that movie and how it stressed and scared it made me but hey it was writing inspiration so yeah. Anyways, spooky chapter ahead :( Eddie + reader content coming soon!

     "He thrusts his fists against the p-posts,"

     Anyone who knew Bill well knew of his pride in his bike, Silver. Countless times had he been found barreling down the streets on his pride and joy at impossible speeds, crying out in joy.

     "Hi-yo Silver, away!"

     Now was not one of those times. Currently, Bill was descending Jackson St. wheeling Silver alongside him as he practiced the tongue twister his mother taught him, as an exercise for his stuttering. He was never quite able to make it all the way through, but that never stopped him from trying.

     "The thrusts his fist against the p-po-" He shook his head angrily, licking his lips. "Shit!"

     At that moment, he had reached the familiar scene of his driveway. One of the garage doors, he noticed, was open. His dad must be woodworking, he presumed. Sure enough, when he parked his bike in the usual spot, his dad was waiting for him. He took his eye goggles off and turned around, facing away from his current woodworking project.

     "Need some help?" He offered, walking into the garage. "I-I-"

     "I thought we agreed." His father sighed.

     Bill's stomach dropped. He looked to his makeshift model of the sewer system he had created. It was made from borrowed parts of his hamster's tunnels, with two accompanying bins representing different areas of the town.

     "Before you say anything-"

     "Bill,"

     "Just let me show you something first." He insisted, walking towards the model. 

     He eagerly picked up the little green toy soldier, dropping it into the tube labeled Witcham. He grabbed the hose that was still in place from his last attempt and stuck it in the tube, turning it on. The little army man clinked and thunked down the tubes, finally popping out into the other end and into the bin labeled THE BARRENS.

     His father watched unimpressed.

     "The Barrens," Bill urged. "I-I-It's the only place th-that Georgie could have ended up."

     "He's gone, Bill."

     "But if the storm swept Ge-Georgie in, we should have gone--"

     His father snapped, standing to his feet suddenly and his voice grew in volume.

     "He's gone! He's dead!"

     Bill swallowed the lump forming in his throat, and failed to meet his father's eye as he was scolded.

     "He's dead! There is nothing we can do! Nothing!"

     Bill was feeling his hope and happiness being torn down all over again, and his father's voice lowered into a spiteful venom.

     "Now take this down before your mother sees it," He walks over to the blueprints of Derry tacked to the wall, and angrily takes it down. "Next time you want to take something from my office..."

     He fitfully folds the poster, refusing to look his son in the eye, and storms out of the garage.

     "ask."

     Bill looked sadly at his hamster, who was climbing the walls of the cage.

     "Guess you get your t-tunnels back,"

×××

     Mike Hanlon speeds down the road on his bike and into the edge of town. He was making his usual delivery to the butcher, one of his many jobs on his grandparents' farm. It was a warm evening, which made for a nice trip into town. He sped along the main streets, making his way through the familiar turns to the butcher.

     He reached the butcher's and he dismounted his bike, ready to unload the packages of meat for his delivery. That was until he heard the hoots and hollers of the familiar Bowers gang cruising down the street.

     His nerves spiked and Mike sprang into action, quickly grabbing his bike and running him and the bike into the safety of the alley. Bowers always had a knack for finding Mike on his trips through town, and every time he would terrorize the poor boy, spitting racial slurs at him, or worse. Sometimes he would have to come home to his grandparents with injuries he would have to explain. Bowers was as bad as they come and his grandfather was right about people like him.

     As he hid himself and his bike behind a junk pile in the alley, watching the car cruise by slowly on the street, he was brought back to the conversation he and his grandfather had had.

     "There are two places you can be in this world," He said. "You can be out here like us, or you can be in there, like them,"

     He was pointing to the pen stocked with sheep, and Mike felt queasy from the fate of the animals, but knowing truth rang in his grandfather's words.

     "You waste time hemming and hawing, and someone else is gonna make that choice for you. Except you won't know it until you feel that bolt between your eyes."

     Mike saw the blue Trans Am pass the outer street and he exhales in relief.

     "Oh, Jesus."

     Still panting heavily, trying to calm his racing heart, he walks his bike to the end of the alley. He leans his bike against a nearby dumpster, back facing the door of the butcher's, and begins unloading packages of meat.

     He hears a soft growl accompanied the rattling of chains behind him. Quickly, he turns to face the door, curious. He sees the old dirty - or was it singed? - door attempting to swing open. It only opens a crack, the chains on the handle preventing it from opening. And did Mike smell smoke?

     Nevertheless, his eyes never left the door, and his breathing never slowed. He was appalled and horrified to suddenly hear the voice of his mother, or at least who he thought sounded like his mother.

     "Mike!" She screamed.

     Mike flinched, his heart pounding horribly fast. It ached to see the familiar scene before him, just as vivid as he had remembered. Charred hands slipped out from behind the door, clawing at the pavement desperately.

     "Hurry, son!" His father.

     "Help! It burns!"

     Still frozen in terror, Mike steps forward hesitantly, ready to reach the door. Hands are still clawing at the brick wall, scratching the charred door.

     Smoke unfurled from the cracks of the door, the hands retreated. Mike took a step back and the door swung open suddenly. He could hear the rattling of chains once more, and the boy frowned at what he saw. Behind the door was a dark room, the only source of light came from behind the freezer strips to the meat cooler. He could see the outlines of the meat hangers and the many figures of the deceased animals.

     Mike heard the bleating of sheep and metal clanging. Suddenly, a figure hanging in the freezer moved, looking up at him. It was a long lanky figure, everything but it's head limp. It was a distorted figure of a man. He could have sworn it looked almost like a clown.

     The figure twirled around on the chains it hung from. It was now facing Mike, who watched frozen in fear, shaking violently. It stared at Mike, two glowing yellow lights emitted from where its eyes should be. It waved its long slender arm, it's movements stiff and forced, like a marionette puppet.

     The loud and sudden revving of an engine brought Mike out of his daze. Mike jumped frantically, barely missing the Trans Am by inches. Unable to catch his footing, he landed on a pile of cardboard near the dumpster. The car came to a sudden stop, rock music blaring from the radio. In the front seat was Belch Huggins, and a livid Henry Bowers stood on the passenger's seat and popping out of the open sunroof.

     "Stay the fuck outta my town!" He roared, veins bulging from his forehead neck, spit flying.

     He flicked his cigarette at Mike who flinched, and the car roared to life and sped away. Mike stayed on the ground, still panting heavily from the intense encounters. 

     "Mike?"

     He looked up to the open door, the familiar face of the butcher stepping through the side of the building where the clown once was. He was cleaning his knife, blood stained his apron. He looked at Mike in concern.

     "Are you okay?"

×××

     Inside the Derry Synagogue, Stan Uris reads from the Torah, rehearsing. His father, the rabbi, is pacing above him, waiting for a screw up.

     "Baruk atah Adonai, eloheynu meleek,"

     "Melehk. Start again"

     "Baruk atah Adonai, eloheynu malehk... malehk... "

     "Ha'olam..."

     "Ha'olam, Asher bahkar Mikal..."

     "Banu Mikal! You're not studying Stanley. How's it gonna look? The rabbi's son can't finish his own Torah reading. Take the book to my office. Obviously, you're not using it" he spits.

     Stanley closed the book, sighing. He timidly made his way to his father's office and opened the door. With the book clutched to his side, he brought his other hand up to the side of his face, blinding himself from the painting that always made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

     And yet Stan was still able to see the crooked frame on the wall, just as crooked as the woman in the painting itself. Everything about the woman in the painting made him uneasy. Her unnatural elongated neck, and her claw-like fingers that wrapped around the flute. Her eyes were uneven and they were a blank milky white.

     It's silly, Stan told himself, it's just a painting. Just a stupid painting. He stepped forward, trying to calm his racing heart. He exhaled, placing the book under his arm and straightened the painting. See? Nothing bad happened.

     He gladly walked away to the bookshelf at the end of the room, though he couldn't shake the adrenaline that had accumulated in his system. He placed the book on the shelf, and-

     SMACK!

     Stan could hear his blood pumping in his ears and he slowly turned around. The painting face down on the floor. The lights flickered with an obnoxious buzz, matching the rapid beat of his heart. Stan gulped, picking up the large frame and hung it carefully back in place on the wall. He stared at the painting, his heart in his throat and his stomach churned.

     He took a few frightened steps back, panting heavily as he tried to comprehend the now blank painting before him. The woman was gone.

     His breathing picked up, he couldn't believe his eyes. Stan whirled around when he heard the office door creak open. But it had stopped moving. Suddenly, Stan felt as if he was being watched.

     Stan felt chills run down his spine and his skin pricked. It's too quiet, he thought. Right on cue, something dropped to the ground suddenly, and a dark looming figure unknowingly behind him. A figure with a long unnatural elongated neck, and long talon-like fingers. His lungs constricted, he gasped for breath that struggled to enter his lungs, he shakily turned around.

     Out of the shadows came the woman, towering over him, smiling an unnaturally large smile, showing rows of several sharp teeth. A shaky scream erupted from Stan's throat and he fled, slamming the door to the office and never looked back.

×××

     Night had fallen and Beverly and Y/n lay passed out next to one another in front of the Y/n's television set. They were both snuggled up under a shared blanket in the middle of Y/n's living room. The room was silent, apart from the soft and muffled voices coming from the TV. The alternating hues and shades casting from the TV and onto the sleeping form of the girls was the only source of light.

     Laughter from the on-screen audiences echoed in the otherwise silent living room, and Y/n stirred awake. She didn't have to open her eyes to know the TV screen was bright. Soft hues were peeking through her eyelids and she sighed quietly, knowing she had to get up from her spot and turn it off. She sat up slowly, cautious not to move too much and wake Beverly.

     She gently pulled the blanket off her form and it wasn't until her legs were exposed had she realized how hot she had become. Her apartment didn't have the best air conditioning, and summer nights like these made getting comfortable no easy feat. She tiptoed across the room and bent down to switch off the TV. The room was now eerily silent, and she could hear a slight ringing in her ears. She froze when she heard a soft rustling come from Beverly, who stirred in her sleep.

     A brief moment passed as Y/n prayed silently that she hadn't woken Bev up. When nothing happened, she visibly relaxed. Her eyes were still very much heavy from sleep, she trudged back to her spot on the floor, and laid down underneath the blankets.

     She breathed contently at the feeling of her chilled pillow as it met her heated cheeks. Her feet wiggled their way out from under the blanket subconsciously for air, the thin blanket clinging to her sweaty legs. She mentally thanked her past self for opting for her shorts over her long pajama pants. She nuzzled her head gently into the plump cushion and felt sleep blanket her conscious.

     Y/n was eased in and out of sleep like the tide wading up the sand before slinking back out. She was unaware of how much time had passed, but at one point she became aware of Beverly kicking her leg. She frowned, ignoring it, figuring she had done it accidentally.

     She felt the groggy fog of sleep wash over her brain once more. Until she felt a tug on her exposed foot. She frowned, moving her leg away, growing cranky.

     Y/n groaned in protest, a pouty look contorting her face, her eyes still glued shut.

     Another tug.

     "Knock it off, Bev," she whined into her pillow.

     Another tug.

     "Jesus, Bev, I mean it! I'm trying to sleep" she groaned louder.

     No reply. That's when Y/n realized there hadn't been any reply from Beverly the first two times. Not even a breathy chuckle or any sign that Bev had acknowledged her. Or even heard her. She opened her eyes slowly. Soft white slats of light that were creeping through the window was the only source of light.

     Beverly was right next to her, under the blanket, her back to Y/n. And snoring. She was fast asleep. She couldn't have done it. She frowned and propped herself up slightly to get a better look at Bev and she stared in confusion. She looked around the room, but she saw nothing unusual. Her eyes landed on Beverly again, her racking her brain for any possible solution.

     The next thing she knew, she was flung back as she was pulled violently forward across the carpet. Her head smacked into the floor rather harshly, and she temporarily lost her senses. She felt her stomach plummet and she gasped when she made herself peer up. Standing there, towering over her was an impossibly tall, slender figure with disheveled tufts of red hair poking out on all sides and a ghostly white face. Its large bulbous head was cracked and dry, like chipped paint and it was smiling down at her hungrily. It was a clown.

     She would have screamed but nothing came, she had no voice. She trembled violently in terror and she felt hot tears stream down her cheeks, she was begging her limbs to move but they all failed her. His arms were impossibly long, and they were twig thin. No thicker than a paper towel roll and they stretched down all the way to her leg, and he hardly had to bend down to reach. Her left ankle was captured in his thin gloved hand.

     The clown smiled, forming an anatomically impossible U shape, showing rows upon rows of teeth. Its eyes were completely black, save for two glowing yellow irises in the center. Y/n felt her leg grow damp and she realized he-it- whatever the hell this thing was, was now drooling on her, it's fingers still coiled around her leg.

     Y/n hadn't realized she was in pain until she heard herself whimper. Long sharp claws that ripped through his white gloves were now hooked into her ankle tearing her skin to shreds as he pulled. She realized she was slowly being pulled towards the clown inch by terrifying inch. Y/n flinched when she heard a scream until she realized it had been her own. 

     Beverly jumped awake in a frightened panic, looked everywhere around the room, but she found nothing but her traumatized friend.

     She saw her friend sitting up straight, slightly farther down from her pillow, shaking violently. Her mouth was open, and her eyes were wide and bloodshot, silent sobs shook her body and her gaze was focused a million miles away.

     "Jesus Y/n, what happened?" She brought herself forward and wrapped her arms around the girl.

     "C-Clo-" But she was never able to finish her sentence.

     She collapsed into sobs, still shaking with fear. Beverly's heart broke as she cradled her. She gently swayed her, rubbing her hand up and down Y/n's arms soothingly.

     Beverly felt her shoulder grow damp from Y/n's tears but she didn't care. She just continued to try and soothe her best friend. Y/n flinched at just about every move Bev made, and her heart broke more, understanding more than anyone, and Bev tried not to move too much.

     Beverly sat comforting her friend for the better half of an hour. Finally, her sobs had died down, but her eyes were still wide, still very much alert form the horrifying encounter. She sniffled, nuzzled into her friend's arms, and occasionally Bev's long red hair tickled her nose and she'd sniffle.

     Beverly finally spoke up in a gentle whisper. "Do you want to talk about it?"

     She felt Y/n shake her head no, and she felt her shoulder grow damp once more.

     Finally, Y/n spoke, her voice came out in a harsh whisper, it cracked ever so slightly. Either her screaming or lack of words or some combination of the two had taken a toll on her voice.

     "Y-you wouldn't believe me,"

     "Of course I would, Y/n." She assured.

     It was quiet again, and tears silently streamed down her cheeks.

     "I can't..."

Bev sighed, hugging her Y/n tighter if that was even possible.

     "It's okay. I'm not gonna force you. Here," she gently pulled herself away to look her friend in the eye. "Why don't we turn on the lights and grab some midnight snacks from the kitchen and just talk, okay? I have a feeling you're not going to want to go back to sleep. Am I wrong?"

     Y/n shook her head no, and Bev smiled. "Okay, sounds like a plan."

     Bev rose to her feet and walked over beside the couch to the lamp on the side table and switched it on. Soft yellow light lit up the room. Both girls squinted from the bright light, both of them having gotten used to the dark. And Beverly tiptoed to the cent of the room.

     "Must have been some nightmare, huh?"

     Y/n went pale, her eyes fixed on something. She had tried to tell herself that everything she just saw was a figment of her imagination. She would have loved nothing more than that horror show to be just a twisted nightmare. And as Beverly had soothed her, calmed her and comforted her, she had almost begun to believe it. That was until she shifted her foot slightly and felt pain flare up on her ankle.

      Beverly was unaware of her friend's rising panic. Her back to her friend as she rose slightly on her tiptoes to reach the dangling metal chain for the fanlight on the ceiling.

     "Now, let's get some comfort food in you. I myself am craving some..." she trailed off, her eyes bulging out when she saw Y/n.

In the dark, neither of them had seen it. And Y/n had still been in such a state of shock, she forgot all about the pain.

     Y/n's sad and panicked eyes were fixed on her ankle. Another defeated whimper escaped her throat as she stared at the three long and deep gashes that trailed down her left leg, blood staining her [s/c] and the carpet beneath her.

+++

@seasidecrowbar @bevxmarsh @supernovawriting @readyforitbitch @classiprincess @edsloveshisrichie @sivords @ravenclawsprincess @pigwidgexn @kricketwritesstories @sweetpeasserpentprincess23 @plum-duels @edmunds-torch @eddiegaykaspbrak @rosi3e @welcome-to-derry @beepbeep-pennywise @candycorntroll @bibliophilesquared @ongaku-ato-kakikomi @cocastyle @peachysinnermon @mochibarnes @captainshazamerica @kaitlynjones12 @songbird-writes @traceylader

[thatwitchrevan]

hey so. I am just going to post some old af Rey fic from 2015 because I’m sad and I just want to.

so these are scenes from an au where Rey is Han and Leia’s daughter and she’s made it to 19/20 without showing major signs of being force sensitive because she’s been repressing her abilities out of fear that she would be like Anakin and Kylo. She’s been dating Finn who is still an ex stormtrooper but who’s been training as a Jedi with Luke, and they’re both in the Republic army together. (Also I made Kira her middle name but everyone close to her treats it like a pet name because Ben named her Kira and liked to call her that when they were growing up.)

-

It was dark.

She was standing in front of a building she recognized from her time on Coruscant: a massive, towered structure of carefully carved stone. She was on the first of many flights of stairs, contemplating the old Jedi Temple.

The mysterious power she felt within her blood and lungs was familiar to her nightmares. Her uncle had described it as a connection to other living things, but to her it felt like a dark and heavy cage separating her heart from her body. Her legs felt light as she began up the steps, but her mind was heavy.

She was heading towards something she didn’t want to see. Or didn’t want to do.

She became aware that there were soldiers behind her, hundreds of them. The sky was dark, and their white armor was scored and dirty. She continued up the steps.

The climb was too easy. Her legs didn’t obey her when she tried to slow them. She was nearly to the entrance of the temple. Somehow she knew it would all be over if she entered it.

It was dark, and though she tried to stop herself, the burden of the soldiers she guided led her into the temple.

-

Rey woke slowly, crushing her eyelids shut and moving her hands to cover them. She didn’t want to wake up, didn’t want to think about what she’d just seen. A horrible weight was in her chest, and she didn’t know if it was dread or guilt. Perhaps both.

She sat up little by little and cautiously removed her hands from her face. Her eyes opened to darkness; it was still night. She rose and headed to the kitchen.

Han was already up, puttering around in his socks and pouring two mugs of caffe. He looked at her over his shoulder with a muted smile and went back to what he was doing.

She sat down at the counter. “What’s got you up so early?”

Han turned around, a mug in each hand, and smiled for real. “Fatherly intuition.” He set one steaming caf in front of his daughter, then took the seat across from her, holding his own. “Same nightmare?”

Rey nodded. “For the most part. Different setting, though. I was at the old Jedi temple on Coruscant.” She sipped her coffee carefully and watched her father over the brim of the mug.

Predictably, he frowned. “Like, uh...Vader? You were dreaming of him?”

Rey lowered her mug and stared down into it.

Han sighed quietly, his own mug coming to rest on the counter with a light thud. “You’re not anything like him, kid. Far from it.”

Rey glared lightly at him. “Please don’t try to rationalize my nightmares. They’re nightmares.”

Han shrugged, concerned and defensive. “Nightmares are serious. I don’t want you to have to have them.”

Rey bit her lip. “I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m scared.”

“Of what? Leia’s fine, Luke’s fine. If you end up being force sensitive, you’ll turn out fine, especially with them to help you.”

Rey rolled her eyes and fidgeted with the handle of her mug. “Thanks, Dad. No fear now.”

Han sighed again, deeper than before. “Okay, fine. Sorry for trying to help.” He leaned on the counter, sipping his caf.

Rey allowed them to sit in silence for a while, trying to decide whether to speak what was on her mind. She drank her caf, feeling the jitteriness beginning. Or maybe it was all her nerves. “Dad...I know you know why I’m so afraid.”

Han shook his head, not looking at her. “You’ve had these nightmares since you were a little kid.”

“Yes, but they’re worse now. Because of Ben, Dad, and you know that.”

Han set his mug back down and gave her a worried look. “You can’t think like that. What Ben does doesn’t have to affect you.”

Rey stood, nearly knocking over her stool. “But he’s my brother! We have a bond that you can never understand! Luke knows! He tells me all the time it’s normal for me to feel this way, like I’m torn apart because Ben is living my nightmares. Every day I fear our grandfather’s legacy will destroy us. Back when Luke and Mom were young, everyone feared for them, but no one is concerned about us! These dreams might not just be fear, Dad. Maybe they’re the future.”

Han frowned up at her. “Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

Han stood up and reached across the counter, grabbing Rey’s shoulders, trying to anchor her. “Because I don’t want you to be afraid of your future. Because you’re my sweet, perfect girl and no force in the galaxy can ever change that.”

A tear rolled down Rey’s cheek. “But Ben.”

Han wiped the tear from her cheek. “You’re not Ben. You’re not Anakin. You’re Rey.” He smiled softly at her, leaned in and kissed her forehead. Then he released her and stepped back, looking her in the eye. “Okay?”

She nodded, more tears falling. As much as she wanted her nightmares understood, as much as she genuinely feared them… nothing felt better than having the faith and trust of her loved ones. Especially her parents, who also mourned Ben, who knew her better than anyone.

Rey sat back down, swiping at her cheeks, and Han followed suit. Silence spread again, and another tension with it.

“You going to Jakku tomorrow?” Han asked.

Rey shifted on her stool, looking down at her cup again. “Yeah.”

Han frowned and dropped his eyes. “Good luck.”

Rey curled her lip and fiddled nervously with her mug. “If you tell me to stay, I will.”

“No… You're not a kid anymore and I shouldn't treat you like one. If you wanna be in the army, be in the army.”

“I do, Dad. But what you and Mom need is also important to me.”

Han smiled at her. It was hesitant, but genuine. “We don't need you to stay if you don't want to. We know you can take care of yourself. I'm serious, Kira, I know this is important to you. Go be a hero.”

Rey returned the smile and took her father’s hand. “Thank you.”

-

Rey was holding Finn’s hand tightly as they scouted, scanning the horizon constantly for First Order troops. In her other hand, she gripped her blaster tightly, though she knew she wouldn't use it if she didn't have to.

Finn squeezed and then released her hand as they approached the crashed star destroyer. “I'm pretty sure they're in there,” he said, pointing. “I can sense them.”

Rey nodded and gripped her blaster tighter. She raised it and fired a warning shot at the hull. “Hey! Get your assess out here, you cowards! You're under arrest by order of the Republic.”

Nothing happened for a moment. Then troopers started emerging from behind and within the wreckage of the old vessel, blasters up. They approached defensively and remained far away, still grouped near the ship.

The captain, an officer without the stormtrooper armor and helmet, looked behind him to check that everyone was accounted for and backing him up, then faced Rey and Finn. “This is a neutral planet.”

“Was a neutral planet,” Rey snapped. “Jakku joined the Republic last night.”

The captain’s glanced at his men, then looked back at her and Finn. It was hard to see at a distance, but it looked like he was glaring at them. “We didn’t know, ma’am. We’ll leave straight away.”

Rey frowned. She didn’t trust them for a second, but she couldn’t refuse them the chance to leave peacefully. “Be sure that you do. Right now.”

The captain nodded in agreement and turned to his men as if to give the retreat order, but suddenly turned and opened fire, followed by the others.

Rey dropped to avoid the initial barrage of blaster fire, then raised her hand while still on the ground and instinctively pushed, through the air, every single one of the soldiers down. They fell mostly on their backs, and fearfully they scrambled up, making a hasty retreat as soon as they had their balance.

Rey rested her head on her knee, suddenly exhausted, and took several gasping breaths. She could feel Finn staring at her.

“What was that?” he asked in astonishment, kneeling beside her. She knew he was silently assessing her through the Force, mostly to see if she was alright.

He didn’t need to ask. He knew perfectly well what that had been, she thought, standing a bit abruptly and inadvertently adding to the collection of sand in her shoes.

He rose with her and stared her in the eyes with his concerned question still hanging off his brow.

She shrugged. Some deep part of her was trying to deny the inevitable conclusion she’d been hurtling toward for months. Maybe, despite everything, she could be free of any cosmic entities, like her father. But she knew better.

“You saw what happened,” she muttered, a bit defensive. “I pushed them, and they ran away.”

Finn shook his head, grinning. His excitement was usually intoxicating, but Rey felt sick.

“You have the Force, Kira,” he breathed, putting his hands on her arms and beaming at her like he'd been waiting for this. He probably had. “This is amazing, love. I knew this would happen.”

Rey looked at her feet, holding back tears. “It seems inevitable in my family.”

Finn rested his palm just barely against her cheek, holding her gently together. “What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy.”

Rey shook her head. “You know about my grandfather. And the old Jedi. My uncle told you. I'm afraid to have the Force. It's dangerous.”

Finn frowned. Rey could feel her own worry rattling around in his chest, along with his own. He wanted to protect her from what she feared, even though he’d always hoped she’d be like him.

But it was clear now what fate had decided to give her, and there was nothing either of them could do but deal with it. He grasped both of her hands with each of his. “Sweetheart, let me teach you to be a Jedi. I'll take care of you. You don't have to be afraid. You're the strongest person I know.”

Rey bit her lip and looked away from him, staring out over the desert landscape, not responding.

Finn released her and watched her with concern. “It'd be more dangerous to not train you. You'll be more of a target. If you're afraid of misusing the Force or being targeted because of it, then the best thing to do is to learn how to use it. And I know I'm not Luke Skywalker, but I'll have to do while he's gone.”

Rey nodded. “I know. I'll train with you. I'm just nervous.”

Finn kissed her hand. “It'll be fine, sweetheart. You'll be ten times the Jedi I am.”

Rey rested her hand on his cheek and kissed him. When she pulled away, she rested her forehead against his, eyes still closed. “That would be quite the achievement. You're the best Jedi I know.”

Finn laughed. “Exactly. Come on, let's finish business here so we can go home.”

Rey looked out over the emptiness of Jakku. Home sounded wonderful.

-

His hand was heavy on her shoulder.

“Rey, look at me.”

Rey shook her head. She tried to pull away, but he held her still.

“Rey Kira.”

His tone reminded her of their mom when she was upset. ‘Rey Kira Organa, listen to me!’

He was insistent, and he wouldn’t let her go. She sighed, she relented, and she turned to face him.

“Kylo Ren,” she said, accusing.

He smirked at her, and now he reminded her of their father, of that crooked smile Han Solo wore when he was teasing. It ached, how much like them he was, and how it wasn’t enough. “You have it, Kira. You have the gift. The curse. Our legacy.”

Rey frowned, shook her head at him. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to turn out like you.”

“No. But you might. And that’s what scares you, isn’t it? That despite all the goodness in your heart, your will to do the right thing, you might be just as much of a disappointment as me.”

He removed his lightsaber from his belt, and Rey started, backed into the frosted tree behind her.

Kylo gave her an amused look. “I won’t hurt you, sister. I just want to talk.” He turned the weapon in his hands, studying it. “With all your nightmares and all your contemplating my failures I somehow doubt you’ve ever considered that maybe there’s a reason why I did it. A reason Anakin did it.”

He looked into her eyes, staring into her in a way that made her feel nervous, vulnerable. Then he held out the lightsaber to her, the opening pointed towards himself. “Take it.”

Rey shook her head, looking at the weapon as if it was a snake he was trying to hand her. It was innocent looking enough, but she knew the blade was a deep dark red, and had spilt more blood than she cared to know.

Kylo smiled, gently, as if her fear was silly and misplaced, as if he meant her no harm. He took her hand, still gentle, and laid the saber in it, pulling away and leaving her with the heavy weapon in her hand.

She gasped as she held its full weight in her palm. She could feel it, the suffering this thing had caused, the death that her brother had brought to innocent lives. She dropped it as if it burned her and glared at Ben, wishing she had her own saber already so she could fight him now.

“There it is,” he said, a hint of triumph in his voice that surprised her. “Anger. A need for justice, vengeance.” He bent to pick up the saber, put it back on his belt. “I’ll tell you a secret, Rey. Everyone thinks they’re doing the right thing.”

Rey stared at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Luke Skywalker doesn’t have all the answers, and neither does your boyfriend. The Jedi are shit.”

Rey glared, clenching her jaw. “Even if that were true, it wouldn’t justify killing all of them just so you could start over.”

Kylo shrugged. “Maybe not. But Vader gave us that chance, and Luke went and started trying to bring the Jedi back. I’m beginning to think it’s the only way.”

He took a step toward her, snow crunching under his feet. She moved around the tree to put a bit more distance between them, and he didn’t intrude further, but he looked at her with sincere and earnest eyes. “If you don’t agree with me,” he continued softly, “show me what you would do. How you would fix this. Show me what a Sith should look like.”

“I am not a Sith,” Rey growled.

“Or a Jedi, yet. You still have to choose your path. And remember that the galaxy still needs balance. It can’t just be me against you and Luke and all the other fools you bring under your wings. The Force seeks those who make use of their passion and their anger, who favor aggression, and it will create them if they don’t create themselves.”

Rey shook her head, a tiny movement of disbelief. “You think that’s how this works? You think I’ll be sucked into your twisted philosophy whether I want to or not?”

Kylo raised an eyebrow at her, smirking again. “Isn’t that what you’re afraid of?”

She didn’t answer, just hugged herself against the cold wind.

Kylo grinned at her. “What was it you said to Dad? ‘Maybe this is the future?’ You can’t hide from me, Rey. Not about this. I know exactly what scares you.”

Rey took another step back, her fists clenching tight. “Leave me alone, Ben.”

Kylo shook his head. He, too, stepped back, moving slowly away from her. “Don’t run from yourself, Rey. Think about why you’re afraid.” He turned and head out into the dark woods. “See you soon.”    

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 300: Days of Our Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: Hawks was all “hey Jeanist, wanna go on a road trip with me to my mom’s house?” Jeanist was all “you know it,” and so they hopped into Jeanist’s jercedes and took off. Hawks took a nap and had a flashback to his Dickensian childhood living in a abject poverty with his jerk mom and jerk dad, thinking heroes were make-believe until one day Endeavor arrested his dad and Baby Hawks was all “OH SHIT.” And then he saved a bunch of people, and the HPSC was all “what do we have here,” and blah blah blah, you know the rest. Back in the present, Hawks was all “well my life is currently in shambles, but on the plus side there’s no one bossing me around anymore so that’s pretty cool,” and then decided he was going to talk to Endeavor. Fandom was all “I can’t believe Hawks would side with his childhood hero over the man who burned his wings off and posted a video calling him a violent murderer who took after his abusive dad,” so that was fun and stuff. I can’t wait to see what piping fresh takes this new chapter will bring.

Today on BnHA: Our old friend Carbonation Carl tries to loot a Starbucks and gets his ass kicked by a senior citizen. Society is all “YEAH, WE’RE REALLY STARTING TO GET SICK OF THIS SHIT.” Old Man Samurai is all “this room won’t stop me because I can’t read it” and abruptly decides to retire, which, fun fact, is literally THE LEAST HELPFUL THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE. Anyway so then a bunch of other punkasses follow suit, and while I won’t say that I’m actually starting to root for Stain to kill some peeps, just for the record I’m not not saying that either. Back in the hospital, Endeavor cries some tears because his life sucks, and then is confronted by his entire family, LED BY QUEEN REI, FIRST OF HER NAME, BACK IN BUSINESS AND LARGE AND IN CHARGE. Rei is all “fuck feeling sorry for yourself, we have a rogue Murder Son on the loose” and I swear to god I have never felt so alive.

so here we go! and just for the record, even though the last two chapters have been phenomenal, I don’t necessarily have any sky-high expectations for chapter 300, mostly because chapters 100 and 200 consisted of Mei Boobs, and Toadette and her horrific quirk lmao. so go ahead Horikoshi, what are you gonna pull out of your hat for this one

oh, back to this stuff again. sob

I guess there was only so much time we could spend having hospital antics and exploring Hawks’s past before we got back to dealing with the whole “the world has gone to absolute shit” issue huh, lol

omg

what’s with these bizarrely cute Noumus. why do I want to pet them

so the narrative text is going on about how people have been super paranoid about the Noumu ever since the USJ incident a year ago. so yeah, I guess the fact that there are now a bunch of them confirmed to be running around is really freaking people out even on top of everything else

wtf is happening here

what did this poor lil glass ever do to anyone. r.i.p.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

SODA SAM IS BACK ON THE LAM

tsk tsk tsk. my man has graduated from snatching purses to raiding cafes. going after that big money. this man has no business sense whatsoever lmao

OH BUT WATCH IT NOW!!

OH SNAP THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING BACK. WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW SAM

THIS MAN IS 172 YEARS OLD AND HE’S NOT HERE TO PLAY GAMES!!

WTF IS HE LIGHTING THIS THING ON FIRE OR SOME SHIT. GETTEM GRANDPA YEAHHHH HE’S CHARGING AT EM YEAHHHHHH

lmao so that was fun. and now we’re cutting to Wash!! omg. look at him

he’s so dedicated. too bad you don’t have a car like Best Jeanist. probably takes a while when you’re just running everywhere

you see?? you were too slow!!

NOOOO, GRANDPA. he defeated Pepsi Pete, but lost his life in the process. this is too tragic

anyway so the good news is that the cafe has been saved! but the bad news is, there really isn’t much of a cafe left. huh. I guess that’s one of the reasons why people are supposed to get a license to use their quirks like this

oh snap and now everyone is coming outside, and they’re none too happy to see poor old Wash over here

seriously Wash, get a bicycle or something. also the way this guy is gesturing so dramatically with his hand in this sort of “YOU SEE!! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!” manner is sending me

OH MY GOD

HE SPEAKS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS. IT MEANS JEANS PUNS ARE YESTERDAY’S NEWS, FOLKS!! MAKE WAY FOR THE LAUNDRY PUNS. CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THIS ALL... UNFOLD

“the heroes had dwindled away” okay real talk you guys, it is literally only a matter of time before they press-gang the children into picking up their slack. I still don’t know how to feel about that, but it is happening one way or the other regardless. Child Soldiers 2 Electric Boogaloo. wonder if we’ll see a rise in vigilante action as well

OHO WHAT’S THIS? THIS IS A CHAPTER OF GRANDPAS HUH

-- no fucking way

WOW. WOW. WOWWWWWW

wow. so he didn’t do a fucking thing while the rest of the top ten were being turned into red mist in the previous arc, and now that it’s all over and they need his help more than ever, he decides... THAT IT’S TIME TO RETIRE. holy shit. “fuck you” doesn’t even begin to cover it my guy. you stand there and soak up those boos you coward

ohhhhhhh shiiiiit you guys. oh shit

the “I am not here” breaks my fucking heart for real though y’all. oh man. everything he worked for is gone just like that

(ETA: okay so a couple of the takes I’ve seen on this make it seem like All Might is somehow the bad guy here?? “this is what happens when society puts a bunch of glorified cops on a pedestal”, “finally the cracks in hero society are showing”, etc. etc. so, just a friendly reminder that this isn’t happening because of too much trust and a lack of critical thinking; this is happening because the villains killed all the heroes and broke a bunch of murderers out of jail. it’s happening because an organized league of terrorists succeeded in terrorizing, and so society is now understandably awash in fear and panic. like, it’s just wild to me that AFO is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and yet week after week fandom still has their “IT’S ALL THE HEROES’ FAULT” signs still up on their lawns. BUT WHATEVER, MOVING ON.)

also though, so exactly how much time is passing here now? I wanted to go straight back to the hospital and see what happens with Deku and the Todorokis. please don’t tell me we’re jumping ahead sob. my aaaaangst

OH SHIT

STAIN. LISTEN UP BUDDY. I KNOW WE’VE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES, AND I STILL DESPISE YOU FOR CRIPPLING TENSEI AND TRYING TO KILL MY BEST BOY TENYA. BUT AS IT HAPPENS, THERE ARE ONE OR TWO OTHER HEROES OUT THERE NOW WHO I WOULDN’T MIND YOU PAYING A VISIT I’M JUST SAYING

LOL BUT IT ACTUALLY ISN’T THIS MAN, FFFFFF

sob. yeah I was talking about Old Man Samurai actually but YEAH. HEY THERE ENJI

also is this entire hospital actually run by characters from Super Mario Bros though. first Yoshi and now this guy, come the fuck on that is not a coincidence

lmao they stuck him in another one of these cavernous creepy hospital rooms

wtf is it with Horikoshi and these giant fucking rooms lately. Kacchan’s in chapter 298, then Tomie’s colossal house furnished with like one table and a TV, and now this. and the weirdest thing about it though is that “huge space with nothing to fill it up” is like the exact opposite of what you’ll usually find in Japanese homes lol

so now Enji is just sitting there thinking things like “my head is fuzzy” and “I’m alive” lmao okay. not quite all there yet, huh. I’ll give you a minute

I’m so fucking curious as to who his first visitor is going to be omg. either way it’s going to be interesting af, and either way fandom is probably going to feel some way about it but OH WELL

okay now his thoughts are getting more coherent! and he’s remembering Touya, and feeling regret for freezing up and forcing Shouto to deal with everything instead

!!! OH HERE GOES BRACE YOURSELVES Y’ALL IT’S ABOUT TO GET SPICY

NO TOUYA PLEASE DON’T CRY HONEY NO PLEASE

ohhhhhhh man

okay, I mean I didn’t expect you to, but so instead then you’re just going to do... what? lie there and wallow in regret and self-pity for the rest of your life? son you know that’s not how we deal with our problems here in Shounen

though also, I totally do get it though. honestly, thinking on it, I probably would have been disappointed with any other response. but so this is where the rest of his family (including his adopted son) come into play now though, because like it or not they’re all in this thing together. and so friends, I am once again asking you WHO IS GOING TO BE THE ONE TO VISIT ENJI FIRST

AHHHHHHH

KRANCH!!!! OMG AND THE OTHERS ARE SO TINY NEXT TO HIM THAT I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THEM AT FIRST. IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE TWENTY MILES AWAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS REGULATION HOCKEY RINK OF A ROOM

holy shit I’m so excited lkjlklhlglkasdsjldfk

SDKFJLSKHLKJL

the way she has him by his collar lmaoooo. “lol nah you’re not going anywhere pal.” damn straight, siblings have to be ride or die in situations like this. banding together for survival. strength in numbers

OH MY STARS I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW THAT I’M ABOUT TO DISSECT EVERY LAST REMAINING PANEL OF THIS CHAPTER PROBABLY YOU GUYS. WE COULD BE HERE A WHILE

love how Fuyu has absolutely no idea how to segue into THE SINGLE MOST AWKWARD CONVERSATION SHE’S EVER HAD, so she just GOES FOR IT in pure small talk mode like they’re meeting up for brunch somewhere

I KNOW IT’S A SMALL THING, BUT I APPRECIATE THAT THE FIRST THING ENJI ASKS IS WHETHER THEY’RE OKAY

lastly while I can’t wait for more of this delicious Natsu angst, I also just have to say that Enji has as much reason to cry right now as anyone on the planet. you can’t deny that being confronted by your not-dead-but-you-thought-he-was-dead son who’s all “SURPRISE DAD I GREW UP TO BE A MASS MURDERER AND I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS ALL YOUR FAULT AND NOW I’M GONNA MAIM YOUR OTHER KID” with a side order of “EVERYONE HATES YOU AND SOCIETY IS CRUMBLING AND NOTHING WILL EVER BE GOOD EVER AGAIN” is enough to bum pretty much anyone out. there’s a Pagliacci the Clown joke here somewhere. BUT DOCTOR, I AM THE NUMBER ONE HERO

oh man lol he is seriously falling apart

damn. like you guys, I’m sorry, go ahead and cancel me, but I do feel compassion for the man. it’s therapeutic for me to see an abuser actually feel remorse and be truly sorry and want to change and want to make it up to his family. and it’s also compelling as fuck to read a narrative about a family that’s trying to grapple with that, because let me tell you straight up, as someone who’s done a version of that song and dance -- it is exhausting. it is a piping hot mess. it’s a gigantic mishmosh of extremely volatile emotions that all somehow all contradict one another. love, hurt, hope, anger, betrayal, resentment, attachment, longing. it’s something you can both be desperate for and also want nothing at all to do with. and attempting to portray all of that and write about it is a monumental task, and one which Horikoshi has done so, so delicately thus far, and damn but I appreciate it. anyway, so I’m here and I’m ready for my latest helping of Todoroki Fam Feels you guys

GASP

oh man. OHMANOHMANOHMAN. CAN IT REALLY BE. IS THIS THE REDEMPTION ARC OF CHAPTERS 100 AND 200???

LMAO SHE’S ALL “WE ALL FEEL BAD YOU JACKASS STOP CRYING ABOUT IT”

LAY INTO HIM REI!! SORRY ENJI YOUR PITY PARTY HAS BEEN CANCELLED IN FAVOR OF A “SO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT” PARTY COURTESY OF QUEEN ELSA OVER HERE. THE PEOPLE TOOK A VOTE AND WE WANT LESS WHINING AND MORE ACTION

oh my god look at this lady folks

NOTE THE HAIR BLOWING IN THE NONEXISTENT WIND. NOW WE KNOW WHERE SHOUTO GOT THIS POWER FROM

(ETA: btw guys, seeing Rei handle this crisis like an absolute champ despite everything she’s been through is everything, though. I’m reminded of Hawks’s line last week about people sometimes unexpectedly finding liberation when they’re backed into a corner. like things may be shit but goddammit her kiddos need her.)

THE CHAPTER IS ALREADY ENDING SOB, IT’S ONLY A 17-PAGER THIS WEEK, BUT GODDAMN WHAT A WAY TO CLOSE

oh my god. oh my god oh my god. AND FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI FOR CUTTING IT OFF THERE sob. it’s like each week the wait for the next chapter becomes more painful. the Todofam is about to get real, and on top of that Hawks is gonna crash the party at some point down the line, and on top of that we’re still waiting for Kacchan to have his own heartfelt discussion about What The Fuck Are We Supposed To Do Next with his best friend who’s currently in a coma. all I want to do with my life is read about these three things, and all I can do is simply wait as they are portioned out in agonizing, addicting little installments every week

anyway! tune in next time as we answer the question of whether or not fandom will finally run its train of logic all the way through to its natural conclusion and somehow manage to cancel Noted Abuse Apologist Todoroki Fucking Rei. don’t act like it can’t happen. you all know nothing is sacred lol. anyways but I’m ready for anything lol, bring it

[comebackseasonisamess]

NCT 127 on a Road Trip

No reader | more crack than anything else | Bullet point

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: What NCT 127 would be like on a road trip

A/N: Firstly I’d like to apologize (once more) to Johnny and Doyoung. Secondly, I did put Winwin in here because there’s been no official announcement on his status with NCT 127 (and I needed someone to be with Yuta)

Yes the gif doesn’t match the tone of the fic but I couldn’t find anything else with all 10 members

OK, so like

They plan a trip across the US/Canada

mainly because I feel like if you were anywhere else you can get around quicker by taking the train or the bus but everyone knows there’s no way you’ll be able to do that there

Driving down all the classic scenic roads

Stopping at all the classic places

And they aren’t all in one car to go there

No, they’re in multiple

(Except for Jaehyun, but we’ll get to him later)

Taeil and Taeyong (the two wriggly grandpas!!) chill in a lowrider

Taeil’s driving because he just has that vibe

He’s pretty good, but speeds excessively

Windows down, sunglasses on, sometimes going twenty (km) over the limit

Manage to consistently turn off at the wrong exit

But it’s ok, because normally you can keep driving straight and get back on the freeway

The type to not stop at Rest Areas

Because they’re Kool Kids

for those who don’t know what rest areas (I believe they’re sometimes called rest stops too) are, they’re these parking lots off the side of the freeway/highway that you can stop at (trucks and trailers stop there too), where there are washrooms and sometimes tourist desks, wifi. there’s also a lot of greenery and plenty of people get out of their cars and walk around. they’re mainly used by people going on long distance trips and I’ve mainly seen families there

Only stop for gas and food

And they’re probably not stopping at McDonald’s for food either

You better believe they’re driving into town to find a nice place to eat

Taeyong keeps up with all the others

Calls them and makes sure they’re all on schedule

Passes (essentially feeds) Taeil food so that he can concentrate on driving

Either the car most ahead, or in second place

Moving on

Jaehyun

this boy doesn’t have his license yet, but let’s pretend he does

I kinda see him riding a motorcycle

it might just be all of the promotions give me more biker vibes than anything else…

But not a Harley

Something quieter most likely

Only makes scenic stops

Is on this journey mainly for the introspective peaceful times

Could have joined Taeyong and Taeil, but decided not to

Can’t carry a lot of stuff so he left his luggage in the back of Johnny’s car (just wait until we get to him)

If he did drive a car I’d expect something posh and sleek

Not like those cars THOSE guys drive

y’know the ones with the super loud engines, bad music pouring out of the windows with the trashy college boy sitting behind the wheel who slams on his accelerator the second the light turns green

am i making general assumptions about a certain car? yes, i am.

He’ll probably plan his own route, but always makes sure to end up at the same hotel as the other guys

Usually arrives first, then has time to explore the city/region they’re in

If it’s a big city he’s gonna head for the street with the most shops/things to do

If it’s a more rural place (like near a national park or something) he might see if he can go on a hike, or might just go to the nearest place with cell service to figure out the next route he’ll be taking

(oh boy I’ve been waiting for this)

before i start, I’d like to apologize to Johnny

This man drives a minivan.

Yes, you read that right, a minivan.

Like one of those soccer mom ones? With the 7 people seating and the foldable third row and the sliding 2 row doors? The cup holders always filled with some sort of garbage? That one

Idk there’s just something very dad like about Johnny and while I don’t think he’d willingly rent out a minivan I imagine him buying one

And of course, sitting passenger side is Doyoung

And in the back there’s Donghyuck, Mark and Jungwoo

He’s (Johnny) always asking if everyone wore their sunscreen, if anyone needs to pee, asking Hyuck to stop provoking Mark…

Blasts the air con even when it’s like 12 degrees (Celsius)

Takes every opportunity to make a dad joke or turn something into a learning experience

When I was your age…

Definitely pulls out a weathered map when they stop at Rest Areas and plunks it on the hood of the car, making a big deal of examining it

Even though Doyoung just rolls his eyes and takes out our trusty friend Google Maps to figure out where to go to next

He’s wearing those khaki shorts, and white socks up to mid-calf (bonus points if he’s also got sandals on)

this is why i wanted to apologize to johnny

Stays completely calm and collected when he misses an exit

Meanwhile Doyoung freaks out

Manages to stop a MarkHyuck argument from escalating

(Mark had to trade spots with Jungwoo to stop himself from throttling Hyuck)

A smooth driver, doesn’t go too fast or too slow

Doyoung is in charge of the music

He’s got a great road trip playlist

Trades out with Johnny every once in a while

Is chill until the children start fighting

Then he drives like my mom

sorry mom

Big movements, brakes frequently and quickly, accelerates like a madman, very aggressive, probably yelling and cursing in korean, shoulder checks aggressively, scowls at all the other drivers, in a state of pure instinct

Then claims that driving aggressively makes him feel more safe

Also makes snarky comments of how “you must always be prepared while driving” and to “think ahead”

(This is when Johnny asks him to pull over and switches with him)

i would also like to apologize to doyoung for this

he doesn’t deserve it

Regardless, he can’t stand any major noise distractions while he’s driving

Gets a bit nervous on those large turns, or going around mountains

Takes a selfie at all the places they stop at

Also at the places they visit together

Jungwoo takes the right seat, Mark is in the middle, and Hyuck gets the left side (him and Jungwoo switch so that he’s behind Johnny because Jungwoo can’t fit and Mark already lost rock paper scissors and got the shitty middle seat)

i will fight people on this the middle seat is the absolute worst seat

They play cards and car spotting games

Mark sings along to all the music

Hyuck sometimes puts his headphones in and stares out the window

They’ve downloaded some movies onto and iPad

And yell out spoilers while Johnny and Doyoung are driving

Mark backseat drives a lot

It annoys the shit out of Doyoung

Jungwoo films a lot

He also mercilessly teases Taeyong and Taeil when they turn up two hours late to the hotel that one time

They all make Johnny stop at McDonald’s (more than once)

Or Tim’s when they’re in Canada

Can’t sit still in the beginning

But four days in and they can’t keep their eyes open in the car for longer than thirty minutes

Their seats don’t recline fully because the luggage in the trunk is in the way

But it’s ok because Hyuck leans on Mark, who leans on Jungwoo when they sleep

FINALLY

Yuta and Sicheng

They’re cool af

Always the last ones

(Because they’re fashionably late, as one should be)

Drive that one car we see in EXO’s Love Shot

Yuta’s sunglasses are low on his nose

Honestly them and wrigglygrandpa!line have similar cars

So Yuta provoked them a bit

(But Taeyong threatened to no longer cook for him so he stopped)

Find secluded places to stop the car

And eat a homemade lunch or snack while in the car

Feet up on the dash

Only when the car is stopped though

The instant it starts to rain they freak out

Run out trying to pull the foldable roof out (because their car is a relic)

Also always seem to have flat tires

Have become the experts of fixing flat tires

Sicheng drives

Yuta’s ok but he seems to be the one the flat tires happen to…

When they stop at the gas station Sicheng fills up with fuel while Yuta runs to go buy some snacks

Sicheng has considered a couple of times of just picking Yuta up and throwing him out of the car when the latter makes bad pick up jokes

Or expresses his love for Sicheng too loudly

Sicheng’s the type of driver to stop at all the pedestrian crosswalks because he’s a nice guy and lets those people cross

Is very courteous and polite

We all like this driver

Yuta’s also fairly good at driving

He just needs to work on… his positivity

Always exclaims that they’re gonna be late or that they aren’t going to make it

Sicheng has to reassure him each and every single time

When they finally get there they always get the worst rooms

It’s ok though

That one time Taeyong and Taeil arrived late they arrived first and got the most luxurious rooms and charged it to 2Tae’s cards :)

[slipperbeast]

bro, for the ask meme, just tell me all about how you feel about ☆Dimitri☆,, ;3c

Aster, you are such an enabler and I love it. This going to be a long ass post, so sorry for my mobile followers, just blacklist “long post” or “cactus speaks”

Mitya… my light, my love, the apple of my eye… where do I even begin? I find it funny that he started out as my least favorite FE3H Lord just bc I thought his hair was stupid and I thought his weapon was boring compared to Edelgard and Claude. But he quickly became my favorite Lord not only in Three Houses, but in the series as a whole and one of my favorite characters in the entire series (Idk if I like him or Dwyer more- tough call). Ngl, at first I only jumped ship from the Black Eagles to the Blue Lions because I thought timeskip!Dimitri was hot af, but then he had the personality and the character development to match

And MY GOD, his character development. Easily one of my favorite things about Three Houses. He went from being a servant of the dead, a walking corpse who wanted nothing more than freedom from their constant jeering to a true king who fought instead for his ideals and a better future for his people. He genuinely wanted to become a better person and mend his broken relationships with his classmates and actually put effort into it. He even… ah well, I can’t elaborate but let’s just say he was even able to put aside his desire for vengeance in hopes of finding a more peaceful end to his tale of conquest. But he didn’t stop suffering. He still heard the ghosts, he still wrestled with his own feelings of hatred, and he harbored an immense guilt for the atrocities he committed. Yet despite all this, he chose to improve himself and try to heal from his trauma rather than letting it consume him. I think that’s really admirable and a decision like that… it takes a considerable amount of emotional strength.

His actions during the timeskip were deplorable; I do not condone nor defend them. And yet… I found myself unbothered by them, even sympathetic towards them. I just wanted to be there for him and help him however I could. It made me sad when I couldn’t even lecture him or invite him to activities. I missed him! But it made it all the more exciting when I could finally invite him to things again. Even towards the end of the game, when my support logs were nearly complete and all my units were the exact classes I wanted them to be, I would still take every free day to have tea with Dimitri! 

Like many other characters you’ve heard me talk about, it’s silly but… I am truly in love with Dimitri. And… I think we would be a good match for each other. I suffer greatly from paranoia, anxiety, depression, always feeling like a disappointment and like I’m never enough. Dimitri… he understands these feelings well and while he may not be the most emotionally adept, he would make a genuine effort to help comfort/calm me. Plus, I kinda love the idea of a guy who’s literally willing to kill for me, especially when I feel like I have to do everything myself and constantly defend myself against others. I want to be the one protected for once. In exchange, I would be incredibly patient with him and be there to help however I could, even if all I could do is hold him close and merely be there. I wouldn’t just let him walk over me! I would be pushy when I needed to be (especially if it was for his benefit). But above all, I would make sure he always understood how much I love and support him. I also think our primary love language is the same- physical (which is not necessarily sexual). Knowing his s/o is someone real, not another ghost haunting him; someone he can lean on and cry on… it’s really important to Dimitri. That skin to skin contact, the warmth of the other, even the pressure from the squeeze of a hand is very calming to Dimitri; it grounds him. (And I mean… who wouldn’t want to be held in his strong arms? Lbr tho, he’s totally a little spoon and I would happily let him snuggle into the crook of my neck whenever he couldn’t sleep)

Plus, I just think he’s really adorable and sweet! The way he loves Flayn’s cooking because he can tell she put love and care into it, the way he laughs at Alois’ shitty dad jokes, the way he bends sewing needles and worries his smile isn’t good enough… it’s all so cute! I especially love that he can’t taste things. I don’t know why, but it’s a really cute quirk to me! Plus, he’s really thoughtful and romantic. I love how he was the only house leader who said something positive about every single member of his house when you talk to him at the beginning. And the smile scene? God, that’s what dreams are made of. I also appreciate that he’s emotional and vulnerable. It’s refreshing to see that from a male protag.

Though, most of the time when I talk about Dimitri, I am referring to Timeskip!Dimitri. It’s mostly an age thing, but also to me… that’s just who Dimitri is. Seeing pictures of Academy!Dimitri is like seeing childhood pictures of someone you know. They’re cute and you have fond memories of them, but you also think about and appreciate how far they’ve come since then. Plus, I never really saw Dimitri as my student bc I don’t really see Byleth as a character (more of a set piece really) So, I saw Dimitri as I would any other character in any other Fire Emblem game- my unit who I happened to fall head over heels for and as a result made him STRONG AF. And like… have you seen timeskip!Dimitri?? That is 100% grade A beef. Personally from an attraction standpoint, I prefer the eyepatch/eyebag combo he’s got going on in the first half the BL run (nothing sexier than a man missing an eye who looks like he hasn’t slept in five years) but we love a king in recovery too.

Oh wow, I think I’ve said everything I can about Dimitri on this blog (keepin’ it clean)? So, to summarize, I love Dimitri with every fiber of my being. Imagining him with me… it makes me feel so safe and secure and loved. He gives me the courage to stand up for myself and makes me feel at ease. I only wish I could be there for him, to pull him out of his nightmares and kiss his scars while telling him how much he means to be, to reassure him that he can atone for what he’s done and that if nothing else, no matter what the dead and others may say, he’s more than enough for me. Dimitri may be fictional but my love for him certainly isn’t. Hard to say if I love him more than I love anyone else, but he’s definitely up there. He’s just… he’s everything all at once to me. He’s absolutely perfect because he is so flawed. He is so human and at this stage in my life… that’s something I need. There will never be enough words to describe my boundless love for Dimitri.