#i am just about as much like peter parker as i'd like to be

[sciderman]

no no,, being born in debt as an american would’ve given you more power.

you wouldve been on step closer to becoming peter parker.

i don't think peter parker has much power at all unless a radioactive spider is part of the equation

[forever-rogue]

Omg for miguel requests!! Can i request one where spider-reader is very bold and always flirting with miguel and one time he flirts back and she gets super flustered and doesnt know how to respond😭

Thank you so much!! I love your writing youre so talented

AN | No, but this concept was aces! I hope you enjoy 🥰

Warnings | [Suggestive] Language

Pairing | Miguel x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Spider-Man

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You could hear his angry footsteps before anything else and you braced yourself for his fury. Instead you busied yourself with looking at your suit to make sure everything was intact…or at least pretending to do so.

"What the fuck were you thinking!?" ahh yes, there it was. He was definitely angry, but you tried to keep it cool. You weren't about to admit that he made you nervous, even if the nerves were slight. You looked up from your sleeve and blinked innocently at him, "don't do that!"

"Do what?" You kept your voice sweet and soft, "what are you talking about, Miguel?"

"You - I - you are so infuriating!" he waved his finger in front of your face and you simply shrugged, "you never listen to me! I don't know why I even let you stay on the team!"

"Oh Miguelito," you gently reached up and brushed his hand out of your face. You were well aware of what he was talking about - you'd directly gone against his orders. But, to be fair, things had turned out just fine despite choosing your own method. It wasn't like you'd fucked up some cannon event, "everything's fine and no one got hurt!"

"But you don't listen," he sighed heavily, "that's the problem. And one day, it's going to get someone hurt. I'm not going to let you do that to anyone…or yourself."

"You're so cute," a dreamy sigh escaped your lips as you touched his face, brushing your knuckles across his cheek. He lightly slapped your hand away, "but you're going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep worrying."

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I," you raised your eyebrows and sighed at him, "I won't do anything bad and I'd never put anyone else in danger. You know that."

"One more fuck up from you and you're done," his voice was low and dangerous and you pulled back slightly, "I mean it. Just because you think you're so cute and charming doesn't mean I can't see right through you."

"Miguel," you looked at him with wide eyes, "I don't think I'm cute - I know I'm cute. But not as cute as you, handsome. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and make a few suit adjustments."

"This isn't over!" His cheeks darkened as he watched you walk away. 

"I'd be disappointed if it was," you gave him a small salute, "see ya, Miguelito!"

He let out a sigh of exasperation as you walked away. It was definitely a challenge not to stare at your ass but he was just a man after all. So he definitely stared at your ass.

"Stop staring," Peter popped up behind him, causing Miguel to flinch, "just tell her you're in love!"

"I'm not…" he pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm not in love with her and I'm not doing this with you right. Get back to work, Parker."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been a few days since what you had decided to dub the incident had occurred. You'd more or less ignored Miguel, deciding to let him cool down on his own terms. You missed getting to give him a hard time and missed getting to tease him as you loved. 

The thing was, you didn’t hate Miguel. It was…quite the contrary in fact. Over the last year that you’d been working for the man, or on his silly little team as you liked to tease him, you’d found yourself getting more and more attached to him. You really liked him and you weren’t shy about letting him know. You thought you were being obvious, but apparently you weren’t obvious at all because he didn’t seem to get it. Or, if he did, he really wasn’t interested and chose not to acknowledge your moves. It was Miguel though, and you were sure he would have just told you…but then again, would he have? Maybe he was just a simple-”

“What’s wrong, princess?” you started at the sound of his low, gruff voice. You hadn’t heard him sneak up and his sudden appearance almost scared you off your chair. Clutching at your heart, you looked over to see Miguel leaning against the edge of your desk, a lazy smile on his face. You were stunned by both his appearance and his casual display of affection, and could only manage to open and close your mouth a few times, “cat got your tongue?”

“Miguel?” you looked at him with wide eyes, “w-what are you doing…here?”

“Just wanted to come and see my favorite girl,” okay, there was definitely something going on. You highly doubted you were his favorite girl (that was probably Jessica or Mayday), let alone his favorite anything, “I have something for you.”

“For me?” your mouth ran dry as he nodded. Was he flirting with you? Surely he couldn’t be, “what would that be?”

“Here,” he reached behind his back and pulled out what looked like your suit…only this was slightly different. He placed it on the desk in front of you before moving to stand behind you. His larger frame easily dwarfed yours, and that was something you tried to push out of your mind. You looked over the suit, trailing your fingers over the soft fabric, “I made some adjustments to it. I think you’ll find it easier to access web fluid and its got better repair tech. Something new Parker was working on.”

You let out a small breath of amazement; this was an incredibly kind gesture from anyone, spider-people did happen to be generous for the most part, but this was next level. You re-familiarized yourself with the pink, blue, and purple fabric. A smile crossed your features as you turned your head to look at him. You found him watching you intently, “thank you, Miguel. This is…amazing.”

“You’re welcome,” his voice was near your ear, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin, “maybe it’ll help you to listen next time, hmm?”

“Miguel,” you turned in your seat and found yourself face to face with him, noses almost brushing. Whatever you were about to say quickly left your mind as you looked into his pretty brown eyes. A sharp inhale escaped your lips and you noticed the smile on his face grow larger, “I, ugh…I…”

“Hmm?’ it was a small sound of the back of his throat as he regarded you. He reached up and touched your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “what’s up?”

“I umm,” you stammered nervously, trying to ignore the feeling of his skin on yours, “I gotta go. I-I think Peter needed me for something.”

“He’s out on assignment right now.”

“Mayday then,” you volunteered slinking out from under his arm and grabbing the new suit, You felt your entire face warmed up as he started to chuckle, “Mayday needs me-”

“She’s a baby!”

“And I love her,” you squeaked, “so I gotta help her!”

You took off before he could say anything else or fluster you even more. Something had gotten into Miguel O’Hara and you weren’t sure you could handle it. You weren’t sure you’d survive the man you’d longed after for so long returning those very same feelings. 

Well. This was going to get interesting.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You came to the decision, made after much contemplation and tossing and turning at night, that you were going to ignore Miguel. Not ignore completely but ignore his advances. If he did happen to flirt with you again, you weren't going to say or do anything. Not that you expected them…but, you know, just in case it happened.

When you got to the headquarters the next day, you kept to yourself, taking your coffee and making your way to your little assigned corner and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Maybe if no one saw you, you could get away with being practically invisible. 

But the universe wouldn't have it, of course it wouldn't.

"Hello there," his voice was sticky sweet like toffee and that didn't land well with you. Rather it did land well in the sense that it shouldn't have made you feel the rush you were currently experiencing, "you look pretty today."

"I, ugh," you looked down at your outfit and shrugged helplessly. You were dressed simply in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals; nothing that you would consider exceptional, "umm…thanks?"

"What's wrong?" He knew exactly what was wrong, the bastard. He could probably hear the erratic and wild beating of your heart, "you seem…nervous."

"N-no," you shook your eyes but your wide eyes and pretty pout were anything but convincing, "just…tired?"

 "Are you sure about that?"

"No," you answered. You could have beaten around the bush all you wanted, but you knew that he wasn't going to give up. That wasn't Miguel at all. The best option - the only really - was to just come out and tell him the truth. Once it was all out, the chips would fall where they may, "why are you suddenly flirting with me? W-wait, are you flirting with me?”

“I am,” he admitted this so easily that it caught you off guard. You knew he wasn’t one to lie per se, but you didn’t expect him to just outright admit it. Confusion colored your features as you tried to get your mind to function again, “I am…flirting with you.”

“Oh,” you nodded and turned back to your computer screen before it all set in, “oh?”

“Oh,” he teased, reaching forward to brush some of your rogue locks of hair behind your ear.

“Why?” you reached up and wrapped your fingers around his wrist, gently pulling his hand away, “is it because I’ve been flirting with you?”

“It’s one of the reasons…among others,” alright. Now you were curious, even more than before, as to where this was going, “is that a problem for you?”

Nope. No. Nah. Not. At. All.

“Ummm…” you felt ditzy and dazy as you looked over at the handsome man. He really had you thrown for a loop, “I just…if I made you feel uncomfortable with it, I’m sorry. I never meant it to be mean or anything. I just…meant it.”

“Meant it?” he parroted as you swallowed thickly, “you meant it all those times you were flirting with me?”

“Y-yes,” your confession was soft and gentle as Miguel practically preened under your words. He wasn’t sure what answer he had been expecting, but somehow it wasn’t this one. He hadn’t flattered him with the idea that you would seriously like him, “I did - I do, Miguel.”

“Hmm,” he mused softly as you blinked at him with wide eyes, “do you want to know something?”

“Y-yes? Yes,” you nodded, tummy fluttering with butterflies and heart pitter-patter rapidly.

“When I’ve been flirting with you,” he leaned down so he was almost face level with you, “I’ve meant it too, princess.”

“No way,” disbelief flooded your veins as the first conclusion you came to was that he was lying. Perhaps this was all to get back for going against his direct orders during your last mission. That must have been the reason, right? You leaned away from him and almost slid off your chair as you rolled back to create a bit of distance between your bodies, “y-you’re lying. You have to be…”

“I’m not lying to you,” this time he was in disbelief. He’d never once lied to you…why would he start now?

“You have to be,” you sounded so pathetic as you grabbed your stuff and almost ran away, “you can’t like me like that!”

“Why not?!”

“I dunno, you just can’t!” you almost ran into Peter as you tried to get away, “sorry!”

Peter was dumbfounded as he looked between your quickly disappearing figure and Miguel, “what happened now?”

“I wish I knew,” Miguel exhaled heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “fuck.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You kept your distance from HQ for a couple of days after your embarrassing outburst. You had replayed that very moment over and over in your head, trying to see it from all different angles.

The only conclusion you kept coming to was that he was telling the truth. And that reality was hard to come to terms with at first…but then it was blissfully exciting. Miguel liked you! But then it was more like Miguel liked you…holy shit. 

But then you decided that more than anything, you needed to know the truth. 

You practically ran over to his office, causing the curious glances of other spider-people to follow you. You could hear their hushed murmurs, but didn’t stop to address them. News traveled fast around this place and you had no doubt that as soon as whatever happened between the two of you, the news would spread like wildfire. 

“Miguel!” you didn’t even bother to knock and announce your presence, bursting into his office without ceremony. He turned around to face you, a few different expressions crossing his features before settling on surprise, “I…”

“Yes?” suddenly every single coherent thought escaped your mind as you stared at him. He cocked his head to the side and looked at you expectantly.

“Did you mean it?” you whispered, taking a step closer to him, “the other day when you said you flirted with me because you meant it. Did you mean it?”

“Yes,” he promised, closing the gap even more, “of course I did. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Me neither,” you insisted, catching yourself, “lie to you, I mean. So…”

“So we’re on the same page now?”

“I think so,” you smiled hesitantly at him, and the two of you locked eyes for a few moments. 

Before you could stop yourself, you closed the little bit of distance remaining between your bodies before practically jumping into his arms. Almost as if he had known what you were thinking, he effortlessly caught you, wrapping his strong arms around you. You beamed at him, melting as you watched him practically glow at you. 

“I want to kiss you,” you touched his face, and he practically leaned into your touch, “may I?”

“You may-” you prevented him from saying anything else as you crashed your lips onto his, kissing him with a fierce determination and eagerness. 

Neither of you dared to pull back until you were both breathless, looking at each other through hazy eyes and soft smiles. He gently set you back on the ground and you stared up at him. 

“Do you want some more honesty?” he asked gently, stealing a few more kisses, which you eagerly gave him.

“Of course.”

“I plan on doing that a lot more,” and yeah…that made you practically jump his bones then and there, “if you’re down for it.”

“Yes,” that came without hesitation, “I definitely am.”

“Better close the door then,” you did as you asked, looking at him with round, eager eyes, “you know how nosey they can be.”

“The nosiest…”

“Now, c’mere,” he held his hand out to you, “and let me prove I wasn’t lying to you.”

“Yes, please.”

[exhaslo]

Would you ever consider doing anything for Miguel/Fem!Deadpool reader?

One who's honestly just kind of tease which makes it impossible for Miguel to figure out *why* he hates her flirting with other spidermen so much until the penny hits.

Bonus points for recklessness and brat energy from DP we all know they aint got no self control. Needs Miguel to definitely put her in her place.

Ohhhh, I have seen so much fan art of just regular Deadpool being a menace to Miguel, Dr. Strange and the TVA. It gets me excited to see the new movie coming out!

But yea, let's give into the chaos!

Warning: MINORS DNI, Smut, bondage, angry sex?, p in v, language

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"For fuck's sake, why is there so many anomaly's popping up in different universes?" Miguel barked, tapping against his screens as he sent numerous Spiderman and women out to the field.

"Actually, based on the energy signatures, it seems to be the same anomaly."

"Impossible, one person jumping around all of these?" Miguel cussed lowly, trying to identify the new anomaly.

This new frustration was giving Miguel a reason to want to drink tonight. The speed he was working to try and understand this problem was honestly amazing. This was probably the fastest he has ever worked.

"Wow! No wonder why all of the Spiders I met say great things about you!" You gasped.

"Que?! (What)" Miguel hissed, seeing both a new intruder alert and anomaly alert appear at the same time, "Who-"

"Haiiiiiii! Pleasure to meet you, sexy ass, my name is (Y/N), I'm like the hottest version of me there is-"

"I. Don't. Care." Miguel hissed, jumping down from his platform and approaching you, "This attire...fuck-"

"Yeeeeep! I'mma Deadpool!" You chirped.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose before taking long, deep breathes. Once he regained a portion of his composure, he proceeded to grab you by the collar and drag you to the 'Go Home' Machine.

At least one of his problems were solved today. Hopefully you will stay in your dimension. Trying to ignore your chatter, Miguel couldn't help but notice some of the other Spiders avoiding eye contact. This annoyed Miguel. How many of them ran into you before saying anything?

"Hm? Oh like half of them." You replied. Miguel groaned loudly,

"Wasn't even a thought bubble," He muttered under his breathe before arriving in the room, "I don't want to see you here again. Stay in your world."

"Awe, but isn't fun! Not when I found such a squeezable ass-"

"Send. Her. Home!" Miguel spat.

It only took a second, but you were sent home immediately. Miguel took another deep breathe before returning to his office to hopefully relax.

----------

"Hehe, he gets so mad when he finds me wandering around this place. It totally isn't my fault that all of you guys think of taking a break here and I just-hop into those thoughts and end up here!" You huffed, talking to Peter B. Parker and Jessica.

"Yeah, yeah, we still don't understand the whole hopping into thought bubbles thing you say you do. It's so confusing." Peter huffed.

"Oh, it's pretty easy. I'd like to describe it as a comic book, but you guys won't understaaaaand, the readers will though!"

"Readers?" Jessica groaned softly. You just laughed,

"Oh yeah! The readers reading this now! So like, normally it's a comic I hop around or thought bubbles or I just rip through the screen, but this time...It's the readers who bring me here!"

"I think I'm more confused than when I started," Peter whined and turned to Jessica who tossed you into the 'Go Home' machine, "Look, just...don't come back before Miguel gets bad again."

"Hpmh! I just said it isn't my fault I keep coming back!" You whined loudly, "The readers and writer keeps bringing me here! I am meant to share my wisdom to Miguel!"

"Why do I hear that Deadpool's voice?" Miguel grumbled, holding a cup of coffee as he walked by, "Again?"

"See! He neeeeeeds me! That has to be why the writer keeps putting me here!"

"What the hell is she babbling about now?"

"Please, don't ask. I don't think my brain can handle anymore." Peter whimpered. Jessica waved him aside,

"She's going home now, Miguel."

Just as the machine turned on, you immediately got sent home. Miguel let out a sigh of relief and right when he was going to drink his coffee, you appeared behind him.

"Fuck!" Miguel yelled as he noticed you. You just casually waved,

"Believe in the spirits beyond."

"I want her gone!"

"Miguel, we've tried so many times. I think...we just need to accept her appearing here." Jessica whispered. You grabbed Miguel's cup, taking a sip,

"Oof, so bitter. So now that I can stay here under the writer decides to let me go home, wanna show me around, big boy?"

Miguel felt his eye twitch as he followed you, mainly just wanting his coffee back.

------------

It has been a few weeks since you've stayed at the-

"Whoa, whoa. Really writer? You gonna make here stay here for weeks without going home?" You huffed.

Okay, sorry, um, it has been a few weeks since you started to willingly appear at the Spider Society.

"Thank you!"

....

Uh, anyway, Miguel has finally started to tolerate you to a certain degree. You still couldn't understand why you kept appearing there, but you were making the most of it. Miguel on the other hand, was starting to find something new to irritate him.

"It's just so fascinating how different each of you are~ Can I touch those wonderful large boobs of yours?" You whispered in awe towards a Spiderman. Yes a Spiderman.

"They're not boobs."

"It's okay to not want to admit your flaws. I buried mine with my neighbor." You whispered, slowly reaching out to the boob.

"Enough." Miguel hissed, grabbing the back of your collar and dragging you to his office.

"Hey! I was about to grab something that could have been the most magically experience of my life!"

Miguel chose to ignore you, growing annoyed at your bratty and quite ignorant behavior. Honestly, he was more annoyed by the amount of flirting you've been doing with the other Spiders. You just didn't know when to stop.

"I can't help it. A natural icon I am," You chuckled and grabbed Miguel's ass, "But this...is a multiverse icon."

Miguel's eyes lit up as he locked his door and tossed you on his platform. In an instant, he webbed you in place, making sure that you couldn't move to try to free yourself.

"Ohhhh~ This is kinky~" You cooed, rolling around like a worm. Miguel pinned you to the floor, his blood red eyes piercing into yours,

"Do you know how frustrated you make me?"

"So...you aren't happy to see me?" You grinned, your knee poking at his growing erection, "I made you horny!"

"Silence," Miguel covered your mouth, "Shit, you're so annoying. No one has been able to put you in your place. Do I need to be the one to do that?" He said with a huff.

You licked his hand in response, "Awe, not sure if a fucking will stop me, but you are so willing to try~" You hummed.

Miguel felt his eye twitch as he captured your lips in a kiss, wanting to shut you up. You couldn't help yourself and smirked, enjoying this moment. Parting your lips, you hummed as Miguel forced his tongue into your mouth, his hands roaming your body.

"Mhm~ Gim....sq..." You tried to say. Miguel broke the kiss, glaring towards your,

"What?" He grumbled, biting and sucking against your neck. You chuckled as his hands reached your breasts,

"Give em a squeeze~ You know you wanna~"

"Do I have to shut your mouth again?" Miguel grumbled, kissing you again.

You tried your best to behave, you truly did. You couldn't help but try to grind against his hips, press your chest to his, or even kiss his neck. Miguel was ready to web your mouth, at least until he started to rub your-

"Whoa, whoa, writer, now I don't mind a good sex scene, but lemme have some privacy here!" You huffed.

Uh, I kind of wrote smut in the warning...so I'm giving the readers what they want, a sex scene.

"Well, I want this man to myself right now! You write other smuts! Let them read those!"

But they wanted this...I can't just-

"Consent!" You huffed, literally spreading your legs towards a feral Miguel who had you pinned, "This is different! I'm totally into this freaky shit!"

"Who are you talking too?" Miguel grumbled, ripping your suit. You shushed towards him,

"The writer! Wait juuuuust a second before shoving that monster of a cock inside me!"

I need to give them a sex scene here. You're already helping me write it.

"No, no! You are trying to write it. I'm trying to enjoy the moment. So be a good writer and juuuuuuuust-"

---------

"Thank you~"

What just happened?

"Oh, I totally skipped the part where Miguel fucked me so good that I actually did shut up. Hell, I think I still feel weak in the knees. Who would have known the stamina and strength that man had. Fucking hot, can't wait to-"

You skipped my story?! I'm the writer here!

"Yeaaaaaah, but like, you can always write more smut. Let me just enjoy that moment to me~. I'm sure you understand~" You cooed.

...

"Hehe, go on. End the story. I'm sure you have other smut to write."

I just- Whatever.

Let's just say, you made yourself a permanent member of the Spider Society. You made sure to annoy Miguel just enough so that he could keep teaching you a lesson. Hopefully, we'll get to see one of those lessons one of these days.

"Maybe~ If I decide to show the goods."

Freaking Deadpools.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha, hope you enjoyed! I always loved it when Deadpool would just talk to the narrator or hop comic pages sometimes. It was great.

@tojishugetiddies

[noamm7]

the new boy

paring : peter parke (tom holland) X male reader

genre : fluff

summary : Peter introduces the school to the new boy (you) and a friendship with something more begins to blossom.

You were slowly adapting to your new life since you moved with your mother and stepfather. Today was your first day in a new school, and while you were nervous, you were also excited to meet new people and make friends. As you entered the grounds of the school, a sweet-looking boy approached you.

He was smaller than you had imagined, wearing a shirt with a Star Wars design on it, he had brown hair, and seemed timid and kinda jittery, but in a cute way.

"Hey, uh... I just wanted to welcome you... I'm Peter... Peter Parker, and I've been here since first grade, and I'm considered a good student, so... they They I was asked to show you around and stuff..." he whispers "I'm really not sure what to say"

"Hey, eh… nice to meet you Peter, my name is Y/N… and as you probably know I… am new here…" you say with a brief smile.

Peter suddenly noticed he was lost in your smile. It was so radiant and expressive, like the light of the sun had been repressed and now radiating from your face. Peter was caught off-guard and blushed for a moment before becoming stunned, unable to avert his gaze. He was then able to recover himself and continue the conversation, avoiding the awkward moment.

"Well, uh... yeah, I guess I should introduce you to the school now, right?"

"Ah, yeah, sure, I would appreciate that." Peter nodded his head in affirmation "All right, follow me, I'll show you the classrooms and other areas of the school."

As you and Peter walked around the school, you had a blast chatting about all sorts of things you had in common. You discovered that both of you loved reading and collecting comic books about superheroes, building complex Lego sets and even playing similar video games.

You could feel a spark of friendship igniting between you, and it was so nice to have someone to talk to and forge bonds with over shared interests.

✁ ..time cut..

Finally, you two arrived at the end of the tour of the school. Peter had showed you all the classrooms, hallways and areas of the school. You realized that you two shared many interests and you were feeling more and more connected. It was now time for you to part ways, at least temporarily, since both of you had to head back to class.

“Well, I guess it's a temporary goodbye... I really enjoyed showing you around... and I really liked you... I mean... meeting you... sorry...” Peter says feeling his cheeks start to heat up "Okay that's cute" Peter squints his eyes and turns even redder than he was, you laugh a little at his reaction and then continue talking "I felt the same way, thank you for taking the time to do this” You say with a brief smile "You're welcome... well I should get to class. I hope to see you later!" Peter speaks with a small smile on his face.

Before parting ways with Peter, you quickly thought of something and called him. "Hey, hey, before we part ways, do you think we could go out to explore the city this weekend? I don't know much around here, so if you could go with me and show me some fun places... if you want, of course." Peter looked at you for a moment, seemingly a little surprised, then smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, sure, it's a great idea, I'd be happy to do that." Peter answered, with a big smile.

"Perfect," you say with a smile "Then... I guess I'll see you at lunch, right?" "Yeah, of course," Peter replies, nodding his head and giving a smile "I liked getting to know you Peter." You say with a smile "You're a cool guy." Peter felt a wave of warmth and happiness wash over his mind and heart "Ah, I..." he said, becoming even more flustered "I... I say the same, it was a pleasure getting to know you too, Y/N." Peter replied, smiling and unaware of just how red he was getting.

“See you at lunch, then," you say, glancing over your shoulder with a brief wave and turning to find your class. While Peter stands there, with an infatuated smile on his face, not realizing just how red he was getting.

It was certainly set to be more than just a great friendship between these two young boys.

ac : Sorry guys this was longer than I thought 😭😭 I hope you liked it ❤️‍🩹 who knows, we might have a second part of this story…

[talaok]

A date

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: (this is the 3rd part to this fic but can be read alone) Since you didn't come last time, Peter is now determined to make you.

warnings: smut | oral sex (f receiving), sub!Peter 

"Hello?"

"h-hi"

Your lips turned to a smile, as you recognized the voice on the other line.

"Hi peter"

"hi," he cleared his throat "am I disturbing you?"

You looked down at your own body lazily splayed on the bed,

no, you weren't busy

"no, don't worry" you reassured him " to what do I owe the pleasure?"

It was as if you could feel his anxiety through the phone.

He huffed a laugh before answering "I was just wondering-" he gulped "if-if you aren't busy" he trailed off "if you'd like to uhm-" you could hear him pace across his room, and couldn't help but grin "to.. y'know..."

"peter" you called for him, 

"yes?"

"calm down baby"

baby,

oh how he liked when you called him that

"Sorry"

"It's fine, what did you wanna ask me?"

He took a quick breath

"if you... if you maybe wanted to get something to eat with me"

you bit down a grin "you mean a date?"

"I-I" he stuttered "would you want it to be a date?"

you wanted to roll your eyes at his cluelessness.

"I would" you promised,

Peter felt like he could faint " it's a date then"

__ __ __

"hello Petey" you smiled, walking up to him

"hi y/n" he said shyly, and you stood on your toes to land a quick kiss on his reddening cheek.

"so how are you doing?" you asked casually, hoping to melt at least a bit of the ice covering his being.

"I-I'm fine" he smiled too now, seemingly more relaxed " You?"

you beamed "I'm great now"

"so where are we going?"

__ __ __

"I like your house," you said, examining his room.

He had invited you over after what turned out to be a very nice date.

You had talked and joked, and he had made you smile and laugh so much your cheeks hurt.

You were starting to realize just how much you actually liked him, and he was starting to think he had fallen in love.

"thank you," he said, closing the door.

"what were you studying?" you asked curiously, walking to his desk and glancing at the open books and messy notes.

"oh-nothing, just math" he shrugged, walking to you to quickly close the book.

"you don't need to be embarrassed peter" you smiled honestly up at him "I like that you're smart" you grazed his arm, "I think it's sexy actually" you smirked, noticing how a breath seemed to get caught in his throat.

"I'm really bad at math you know" you sighed, "I never understand any of it"

"I could help you if you want"

"private lessons with you..." you raised your eyebrow suggestively "yeah I think I'd like that" you murmured, intertwining your arms behind his neck.

He smiled sheepishly "I think I would too," he managed to say before your mouth was on his and everything else stopped existing.

He loved how you were able to do that, how with just one touch, one kiss, the world stopped except for the two of you.

He kissed you back, trying his best to be good at it.

He was still nervous about it, about everything really.

You started walking him to the bed, your mouth still met with his, your taste still blessing his lips, and he followed mindlessly, a simple puppet under your control.

You made him sit on the bed and straddled his lap, earning a low whine from him.

Just when he thought he had no air left in his lungs, you leaned away, starting a slow trail of kisses from his cheek and down his neck.

he was in heaven, in paradise, flying above the clouds.

"Well hello," you murmured, taunting him as your hand ghosted the bulge growing in his jeans.

"y/n-" he whimpered

"already hard for me baby?" you asked, going back to kissing his mouth "can't wait to feel like last time?" you said, looking at him as ragged breaths escaped his parted mouth " want to fill me up again?"

"want to feel real good again mh baby?" you murmured, grinding on his lap, as he tried not to moan.

"y/n- wait"

"yeah, what is it?" you asked, "you don't want to, baby?"

"no, no I do" he breathed "it's just-" you watched his adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped " I-"

"petey..." you let your fingers caress his hair "just talk to me"

"I want to make you come" he spat out, and it took everything in you not to snort.

He was blushing like never before, his cheeks as red as the blood rushing to them.

You grinned, amused "well that's what we're gonna do"

"no but last time-"

"last time was last time"

"I know but- I don't know if I can-" he was struggling to look at you "you just- you feel so good"

you chuckled softly at that "so you want to make me come another way?"

He nodded

"you're sweet" you kissed him

"well we can do that," you said, "did you have any particular way in mind?"

if you thought he couldn't get any redder, you just got proved wrong.

"no need to be embarrassed, baby"

"I-I wanted to..."

"Just tell me, honey"

"I wanted to go down on you" he whispered softly.

you bit your lip, you would have been lying if you said you weren't excited about that idea.

"ever done that?"

you knew he hadn't, but still asked

"n-no" he whispered again

You smiled softly and he felt the need to talk again, to explain himself better " But I've done research"

"you did?" You giggled "what kind of research exactly?"

"well, I-I've watched videos"

"mmhh" you hummed, smirking "I bet you liked doing that research a lot mh?"

"I-I" he could only stutter

"I'm kidding Peter" 

"you wanna show me what you've learned?"

"yes" he nodded, and you gave him a quick kiss before getting off of him and onto the bed to sit beside him.

He looked frozen, so you gently put your hand on his “you sure about this baby?”

“Y-yes sorry it’s just- I want it to be good”

“Oh don’t worry I’m a great teacher” you promised, and that seemed to work as he stood up just to kneel in front of you.

His amber eyes were wide with anticipation as his pupils trailed from your calves up to your own eyes.

He couldn't believe this was actually happening, that you were actually letting him do this.

"Alright then" you encouraged "you might want to take this off," you said, your eyes signaling to your skirt.

"right," he muttered, his hands immediately reaching for it just to stop as quickly as they had moved.

He looked at you, unsure, anxious, and you nodded, trying to convey all your encouragement.

So he did it, slowly, excruciatingly slowly, so slowly in fact, that if you didn't know any better would have thought was deliberate teasing, he slipped your skirt off as you helped him out by raising your hips.

Peter had to stop a moment to admire you, sat in front of him with just some black lacey panties on,

He had to be dreaming.

"Peter" you called for him in a whisper and his head snapped up to look at you.

He raised his brows as if to say -yes?- and you smiled "I know you're not doing it on purpose but you're kind of killing me here"

"oh" he breathed "sorry"

"no worries" you stoked his cheek "here" your fingers hooked underneath the waistband of your panties "I'll help you out," you said, pulling your underwear down yourself.

His mouth gaped open, but you realized he had gotten the message when he finished shuffling the panties down your legs.

You slowly parted your legs, moving a bit closer to the edge of the bed, and his heart started pounding in his chest.

"Show me what you got then baby" you joked,

"ok" he hiped himself " you'll lead me right?" he asked

"I will" you promised, and glancing at you one more time he bent between your thighs.

He licked a long stripe between your folds and you had to bite down a moan.

Your hand found the back of his head, his hair grazing against your palm as he did it again, and then again, and then again.

This is what I mean when I say porn is unrealistic

"That's good honey, just-" you said, and he stopped, looking sorrily up at you "you see that bud on top?"

He glanced at your cunt to see what you were talking about before nodding.

"good" you said "try to focus there a bit more"

"s-sure" he stuttered, before diving in again.

He loved it,

it was a feeling like nothing else,

being buried between you, working to only please you.

He wanted it to be amazing,

he wanted to see you come because of him,

and he was already certain this wasn't gonna be the last time.

He did what you suggested, focusing more on what he assumed was the clit, licking it fast.

"here?" he asked shyly, 

"Just-" you panted, "just a bit more to the left-"

He immediately adjusted himself and you could only moan loudly at the amazing feeling.

"fuck!" you cried out "that's it, baby, that's it" you spoke fast and high.

His eyes were fixated on you as you threw your head back in ecstasy.

He couldn't believe he was the one causing that, and at the same time decided he wanted even more.

He focused as his lips closed around your clit, starting to gently suck it.

You gripped his hair now "oh my god baby!" you moaned "fuck that's good"

"you're so good baby" you mumbled, your eyes shut close 

"so so good," you muttered incoherently.

He could feel himself getting painfully hard underneath his torturous jeans, and as he watched your own hand travel to your tits, his hips started moving on their own, desperate for some friction, some sort of release.

You were a vision, one he was sure he'd never forget.

"you can-" you were having trouble speaking through the waves of pleasure he was coursing your way "you can use your fingers if you want"

He had to swallow the groan creeping up his throat but wasted no time before obeying.

You soon felt his finger at your entrance and braced yourself as he slowly slipped one digit inside of you.

"fuck" you whimpered, now grinding slightly onto him "use another one baby" you begged, and he felt his cock twitch in his boxers.

He immediately did, his index and middle finger now buried deep inside of you.

"good boy" you praised, forcing his crotch to grind harder into nothing.

He started driving his fingers in and out of you as his mouth kept licking and sucking your clit, and you felt like you were about to ascend to another universe.

So much for having never done this

You could feel the bubble in your belly tightening and tightening, ready to burst any second.

"yes baby" you whispered

"fuck-just like that" he kept going "just like that honey"

"don't stop" you pleaded "I'm coming," you said "Fuck-I'm coming baby" you cried, as finally, a tidal wave of pleasure drowned your own pleas and moans.

He kept going as you rode your high, and only when you opened your eyes again did he stop.

You smiled down at him, and he felt butterflies in his stomach.

"come here" you begged, and he immediately did, leaning up to meet his mouth with yours.

You grabbed his face and pulled him with you onto the bed, shuffling upwards.

He followed you, settling one of his legs in between yours, as you let your hands roam free on his body, slowly inching closer to where you suspected he needed you the most.

You kept passionately kissing him as your hand found his crotch, and much to your surprise, a wet spot on it.

You smirked into the kiss, and Peter looked confused for a moment before realizing what had happened.

"Sorry," he said, sounding defeated

"no" you cooed "don't be Peter"

"you did so good baby" you promised "so so good" you smiled, resuming to kiss him once more, already feeling the bulge on his crotch growing again under your touch.

[bravetimetravellingaussie]

And it feels like home

Chapter 1

Summary: Peter Parker is minding his own business when along comes the merc with a mouth, shenanigans will ensue

Warnings: foul language, it's got deadpool in it? I think that works as it's own warning

Possible spoilers, Spider-man: No Way Home, and Deadpool and Wolverine

"Where are you getting the guns from?" Spider-man stood on the edge of a towering building, holding onto a a thin white piece of web, from the end of which hung a flailing and terrified criminal.

"Agh!! Shit shit shit shit shit! I don't know! I don't fucking know! Shit! Please! Come on man, let me go!"

"If you say so." Spider-man let go of the web for a second, letting the man fall a couple of metres before catching the web again.

"OKAY LOOK MAN I'LL FUCKING TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW JUST PLEASE PUT ME BACK ON THE GROUND BACK ON THE GROUND PLEASE DONT DROP ME!"

"Thought so."

Since the disappearance of Peter Parker, the man behind the mask didn't have to put in any effort to make himself sound older. He also scarcely had to ask the same question more than twice. He rarely had the patience to ask a third time, and he could barely find the willpower to restrain himself from violence by the fourth.

It scared him sometimes how much he yearned for an excuse to punch people these days.

Peter Parker shifted the sleeve of his suit to check his watch as he slung through the city on his way back home after a long night of doing what he hoped was good enough to be considered superhero work.

3 am.

Peter groaned. He could feel how tired he was going to be for the rest of the day already.

"I fucking hate Mondays."

"Welcome to McDonald's, how can I help you?" Peter could barely keep his eyes fully open they were so dry.

"Hi, Tom, I'd like someone to drop a skincare routine that actually works for me and to get a job that pays well enough for me to move out of my mom's house so I can have fun time in the night time with my boyfriend without her screaming at us to shut up already. I'd move in with my girlfriend but she's abroad right now and she's having some friends house sitting for her. I'd understand if she didn't trust me with her plants or something, but she doesn't even have plants! I think she might just not trust me. I got her shot one time and I don't think she's over it yet, even though she never got shot because of me, because I went back in time and fixed that."

Peter glanced at his name tag that had 'PETER' written on it in bold letters. Then he looked back up at the man wearing leather from head to toe. It might have been red originally, but Peter couldn't help but wonder if it had been stained red by the multitude of wounds the man had all over his body, bullet wounds and stab wounds, slashes a gashes. The worst of which seemed to be the man's freshly amputated hand.

"McDonald's welcome help you how?"

"Oh, right, I'm sorry, your customer service voice is so soothing and therapeutic. Shame they don't let you speak in your mother tongue, they know it'd be too much for the world to handle." The man leaned his elbows on the counter and rested his head in his hand, kicking one leg up.

Blood dripped from the man's wrist down onto the counter, but Peter was so sleep deprived all he could think about was how he was gonna have to clean that up.

"Alright! I'd like a big meal, big mac with fries and coke. I do mean the drinking kind, unfortunately, damn that Feige guy, Blind Al has a bone to pick with him after the bullshit she had to go through for Deadpool and Wolverine." The man chuckles. "You know how it is."

Peter would have said, no, I really don't, but for all the weird shit he'd encountered in his life, this was just about the strangest.

"I'd pay for this, but I don't carry my wallet in my work pants. I think this is gonna have to be on the house, you'll do that for me, wontcha Tommy, my bestest friend in the whole wide multiverse?" The man didn't want for an answer before taking the paper bag that had just been placed on another counter and running out of the store, waving at Peter through the glass once he was outside.

"Sir, that- sir that wasn't... That wasn't your order, sir- that was not your order," one of Peter's coworkers said quietly beneath her breath as she stared after the man in red.

Everyone else in the McDonald's seemed to have been similarly entranced. Somewhere a child was crying.

"I'm taking a sick day," Peter said to no one in particular.

[bowieandqueen11]

Tobey!Peter Parker Dating A Plus Size Reader Would Include...

Request: Hello! I know I sent requests for "random request go!" so feel free to ignore me. I was just wondering - I was reading again your Spider-Man stuff (cause it is FANTASTIC <3 ) and I saw that in your note to "Andrew!Peter x Plus Size!Reader" you said that if anybody would ever want to, you'd be willing to write Tobey!Peter x Plus Size!Reader too. I was wondering if that's still the case. Cause if yes, I'd love to see it one day! No pressure of course, you can skip it if you want! Have a great day!

Oh my gosh lovely of course I will thank you so much, I didn't think anyone actually read those notes aha but I'm so happy you did!! Between Across the Spiderverse (which I still haven't seen yet I'm so slow!) and the Insomniac Spiderman trailer I am being well fed :)

Warning: mentions of blood/injury!

(I do not own Spider-Man or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @fmribeiro01.)

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

I'm not joking even THINKING about this as a concept is making me squeal because like?? Tobey Peter?? Omg. Absolutely adores you. 24/7, non stop heart eyes motherfcker. Be ready for him to give you looks of such gut wrenching love and vulnerability that you'll just want to squish his cheeks together and kiss his forehead like the puppy he is.

You were 100% Peter's childhood crush, no question asked. You were always invited around to Peter's birthday parties, where the two of you would be thick as thieves for the whole night. Even poor exasperated Harry would find it oddly adorable when it was time to give Petey his cake, and he would bashfully pull out the chair beside him at the table for you to scoot onto. He thought he was so slick, bless his heart, when he reached over to fix your wonky party hat with his tiny shaking fingers, or shyly looked over at the rim of uneven frosting towards you when Aunt May carried out the homemade cake and told him to make a wish. You were always the last one to be picked up, despite living right next door: Ben, the sly old fox, could see how enamoured Peter was. How he had the firmest grip he had ever seen his nephew squeeze out around your arm, and how Peter stood holding the present you had given him in his other hand, not even noticing it because he was too busy fervently nodding and being strung along by every word you would say.

Ben would stall your parents at the door, blocking the way in by pretending to lean on his elbow, and spouting off about whether he was going to paint the living room a periwinkle or an egg shell blue. When your parents finally started to get impatient, you kissed Peter on the side of his cheek and left with a big wave, not really noticing the way he was standing stock-still, his fingers tentatively touching the side of his face and his mouth agape, blubbering like a blow fish. May has never seen him run so fast up the staircase, but Peter's so desperate to curl up alone under his duvet and thank whatever he can think of for making his wish come true, touching the wet imprint of your lips with a revered awe. Eventually, his giggling gets so loud during the night, that Ben has to come out and close over his door so he and May can get at least a little sleep.

A lot of your teenage years is spent with you jumping over your chain link fence in the middle of the night to meet a very anxious looking Peter, whose face quickly grows into a bright smile when he pulls the latest edition of the comic series you've been share-reading out from behind his back. Sitting on the cold tile by his garage, the night would slowly weave diamond dust through the sky, and sparkling joy through the irises of Peter's eye as the two of you stuck your heads together and poured over the pages. Every so often he would have to blink away, pretending he was fixing his glasses because you would catch the side-eye look he was giving you.

By the end of the night, you've fallen asleep, slobbering onto Peter's shoulder. He hasn't moved an inch: as still as marble, and doing his best to hold his breath so he doesn't rustle you, and so he can memorise the way your gratifying weight feels against the side of his shoulder. So he can imprint into his mind how tender your skin feels against his burning neck. It's only when Aunt May comes out to shake the two of you awake from the school bus that he runs into the kitchen all flustered. He grabs his backpack, and says goodbye, but refuses to change his jumper because he can still feel your imprint against the coarse wool.

From time to time that day, you'll peer round the door of your locker to catch him leaning into his, so giddy he's almost vibrating on the spot, which is probably why he's so distracted he bangs his head on the metal top of his own locker door oops.

Lunch that afternoon is even worse! Sitting diagonal across from Peter, you slide into the table next to an already frustrated looking Harry, whose kicking Pete's feet under the table and making incredibly unsubtle raised eyebrow points your way. He's so sick of the way his best friend will spend every minute of his time with you just staring: peering over his fruit pot, blabbering incoherently to himself with ruddy cheeks when he passes you the salt and your pinkie fingers brush, looking at your reflection in his spoon, pretending to stretch his arms and yawn just so he can 'look around the room', which also just so happens to be only the part that you're sitting in. He just wants his friend to be happy, and honestly, he's kind of dumbstruck that the two of you aren't together already, considering his eyes light up like gold-struck dawn every time he sees you.

It's only when Flash Thompson passes by and knocks Peter's elbow out from under him that he finally stops staring over at you. Mainly because his eyes are too busy slamming into his lunch tray, and breaking the bridge of his glasses down hard against his nose. The spell you wisp around his heart is finally broken when the blood starts gushing down his nose, and you have to half-carry him to the medical office. He spends 50% of the time walking there apologising to you, and the other 50% of the time is spent trying to stop his fingers from clenching into your arm. You've tucked him into your side, holding half his torso against you so he can spend most of his effort on pinching his nose, but he doesn't even care that he's swallowing blood anymore, he's so focused on how close he's pressed up against you. The feeling only grows more fervent, more needy, until he's twitching his thighs against the nurse's table to try and get himself to calm down, when you stay with him for the rest of the period to try and wipe some of the blood away. The way you're so close to his lips, the way that your gentle fingers are dabbing so close to his mouth that he can feel his rushing breath brush against your hairs is making him go cross-eyed with how much he's trying to focus on you.

'You know...', you start after a minute, biting your bottom lip nervously as you continued to dab at peter's nostril. 'I have eyes, Petey.'

'I-I know that, silly', he says, his breath coming out in a confused gasp. 'Me too!'

'I- I know you've been looking at me. Because I've been looking at you, too.'

His heart seems to be slamming into the caged cavity of his ribs, and yet everything seems to simultaneously be standing still: caught in a hazy, gliding, wavering dream as you slowly... ever so slowly drop the cloth into the sink, and break through the few inches between the two of you to press your lips against his top one.

For a moment, Peter is so shocked all he can do is widen his eyes, not even processing that the thing he's spent every moment of his waking and sleeping life wishing for ever since he was a child was happening right now. He tries really hard to stop his whole body from shaking, as his silky lashes finally falter shut against the top of your cheeks and he tries to focus his whole attention on the way your plush lip seems to press so perfectly against his own. After a few seconds though, when he hears the clattering of trays fall to the floor and the darkness he was letting himself fall willingly down into seems a little harder to blink out of, he realises the sound was him.

You're worried you've upset him, or stepped too far, or misconstrued his intentions when Peter falls backwards off you, but that's quickly replaced by frantic concern when he starts sliding to the floor. Thankfully, your reflexes are almost as good as his, and you're quick to wrap your arm around his back and cradle his head against your breastbone before he can slam his head against the floor again. He has to spend the rest of the day lying in the office's bed waiting until Uncle Ben can pick him up, but it was completely worth it. As he gazes up at the inane, plastered ceiling, suddenly everything else in life seemed so silly and pointless. All he cared about was rubbing his pointer finger over the wet patch of your saliva still dotted against his bottom lip, his eyes filled with a million bursting stars as he saw beyond the ceiling and into the skies, thanking it for making his birthday wish come true.

The two of you move into his crumby apartment after high school, and honestly? It's the happiest time in Peter's life. Sure, it may be small, and the walls may be flaky and they may shake every time a train rolls past the tracks outside, but every time he comes home to them he's greeted by the memories of the two of you laying against them like when you were kids, falling asleep against each other's heads as you read into the night. Sure, Ditkovich may hound the two of you constantly for rent, and the afternoons may be drowned out by the sound of his friends playing poker a couple of doors over, but they were so easy to forget in the evenings when you turned on your slightly dented radio and made a flustered Peter dance with you across the room, not stopping until you had him held tightly in your arms and he was so embarrassed with his two left feet that he was hiding his head in the curve of your luscious neck.

And sure, you may have picked up pretty quickly that Peter was Spiderman, considering he keeps hopping out the balcony at random hours and leaves his suit sometimes crumpled at the bottom of the closet, but you love him. And he adores you more than anything any universe could throw at him. So life, for the most part, is good.

Honestly, it's so cosy living with him?? Peter literally has spider strength, so he adores it when you lie on top of him in your bed. After a while of just nattering peacefully to each other about your days, winding down by playing with each other's fingers and sneaking kisses through the brackets of your arms, he feels so at peace to feel your weight familiarly resting on top of him. This need increases tenfold after he loses Ben, I think there's something so comforting to him, to know and feel that you're still so close to him, that he can synch the anxious patter of his heart against your own. He's so sweet bless him. he gets so sleepy that his head keeps falling down on top of your own, but he's so quick to lift it up again. He blinks languidly, that honey-sweet, silvery smile shadowed only by the tempered glow of the warm moonlight drifting through the balcony as he tries desperately to keep himself awake, giving his full attention to you.

There's just something about drifting off to the sound of your voice, knowing that for once, he's safe. That he's wrapped up, looked after, comforted by the love of his life. It just feels really nice to be the one coddled from time to time.

Sometimes, you'll jolt awake in the dead of night by the sound of some strange, wistful whispering echoing from somewhere in the near empty room. It takes your brain a little whirring time to realise it's coming from the hand that's spooning your waist, and the nose that's pressed tightly against the back of your thigh. Turns out Peter spends a lot of his sleepless nights tracing over your stretch marks, nestling down your back and reverently dancing his fingers up and down the tiger stipes on your waist. Every so often, he would rub his nose against their aureate lines in a fond kiss, gingerly resting his cheek against your bare skin again as he tried not to wake you up. What really made your heart melt, though, was the way an awe-struck 'wow' would slip from his lips in such a reverential tone, that Peter became so overwhelmed and could do nothing else but leave a small kiss against the side of your leg, dotted by slick tears.

This man picks you up on his scooter after your shift at work, mainly because 1) you are a much better driver than him, and it actually gets home in one piece rather than being tangled under a car wheel somewhere, and 2) when he's super stressed he finds it so comforting to wrap his arms around your side and press his forehead tightly into your back, letting the whole world melt away until nothing but whirling air and the scent of you is left. He always arrives outside your office building ten minutes early, making your secretary laugh when she spots him straightening his best flowery tie in the reflection of the waste bin by the bench outside. He has his best suit on, freshly pressed, and is nervously stepping from foot to foot with a crumpled bouquet of roses in his hand, like a teenager waiting to ask his crush to prom.

Every. Single. Day. You honestly just wait for the secretary to buzz you so you can grab your coat and run outside; you know far too well that Peter either dumps his Spidey suit through the window, or just wears his proper suit underneath so he isn't late. Doesn't matter if he has to catch five buses from the Daily Bugle, or has to 'borrow' his moped from 'Joe's Pizza' to get there on time, he's always there. And he always wants to look his best for you, even though he's still so surprised that someone as ethereal as you would even bother to look his way that he has to shuffle a handkerchief out of his trouser pocket and dab at the sweat beading on his forehead.

It's either that, or Peter scaring the bejesus out of you by picking you up with his webs. You'll just be minding your own business, walking down the sidewalk on your way back from your lunch break, only to be hoisted, screaming into the air and past an equally petrified looking pigeon. Peter does feel bad the first time he did this, since you were screaming the whole time he swung you, but you've settled into a better routine now. You've found it easier to watch the scattered tiles of churches and the blurred crests of building whiz by while you're holding on tightly to his waist, and your feet are firmly pressed on top of his own so he can keep you steady against him. I mean, you might still bury your head into his shoulder blade in absolute terror, but he makes it up to you by landing you down gracefully on top of your office a couple of minutes before you go back in.

The adrenaline from swinging about New York makes the kisses far more heated, and it's always helpful to have a little privacy when you pull the edge of his latex mask harshly up past the bridge of his nose and nearly knock him flying over the cornerstones with how fervidly you smash your lips against him. His arms instinctively come to wrap around you, and even he's grown a little more emboldened by the knowledge that you actually do love him and this isn't some cruel villain trick or high school prank, to open his mouth and press his tongue lovingly against yours. He never wants to let you go, so before he lets you go back to your job he gives you a tight hug, and presses a million warm little kisses in a treasure trail down the pulse point in your neck.

This man literally has like... two outfits, so he's constantly wearing your clothes! Surprise! You come home to find him sitting criss-cross on the bed, face bruised and tired worn from his latest clash with Doc Ock, but your sweatshirt tucked over him and lifted up against his cheeks like a little hidden koala bear. Surprise! You plan a surprise birthday party for him with Aunt May, only for him to turn up after work wearing one of your jumpers! It's just so snug, and homey, and it reminds Peter of when he was ten years old; when you came round to sleepover, and the two of you would crash on his mat after spending so long pouring through and excitedly talking about the new quantum theories in the science magazines he used to buy with his pocket money, Peter would shuffle up beside you. With a sharp breath, he would tentatively turn on his side and pray he wouldn't wake you up, curling into the foetal position. With a smile like dawn breaking through the soft tufts of a cloud, he would press his nose into your shoulder and just breathe you in, hoping he would never forget it as long as he lived.

This man loves to take you out dancing, mainly so he can grin wildly and show you off to every other customer in the restaurant. Every time he passes the waiter, or the Maitre d', he points wildly at your back and mouths ecstatically 'that's my Y/n!'. He legitimately pools all the money he's made from the photography, and from the pizza delivery together so he can take you to a fancy restaurant uptown. He feels so nervous when he gets up with that breathless smile and offers you his hand, but all his troubles just immediately melt away once he feels your hand brush over the strands of hair at the nape of his neck. He falls against you, easily caught just like he was all those years ago. Your fingers feel so soft, so perfect as they slot between his own, although his left hand never stops rubbing over the supple skin of your waist as he sways the two of you back and forth in time to the dream-like lullaby of the string quartet.

[thankssteveditko]

So, obviously, this blog is still on the back burner for now. As I've said, this is a place for me to post about Spider-Man when I feel like posting about Spider-Man, not a formal project with any sort of schedule. But I figured I'd mention that I'm not following a new run of Spider-Man. People always say that you shouldn't worry too hard about knowing the entire continuity when it comes to superhero comics, and instead just jump on board for any run that seems interesting to you. So I'm finally taking that advice!

I am, of course, talking about the new run of Ultimate Spider-Man from writer Jonathan Hickman. I know people have spoken highly of Hickman's other work, and there was a lot of hype for this new take on Peter Parker (especially given how much people are hating the current 616 run), and this seemed interesting to me. A version of Peter who's married with children, who only becomes Spider-Man as a grown-ass man? Yeah, sure, I'm down.

Only the first issue is out currently, but I'm liking this more mature, world-weary take on the cast pretty well so far - particularly Uncle Ben, who's alive in this and gets so much focus in this first issue that I almost thought Hickman was going to do something truly insane and make Ben an elderly Spider-Man lmao. And it's a good thing I like the characterization, because Peter doesn't actually become Spider-Man until the very end of the issue. But I'm definitely down to see where Mid-Life Crisis Spider-Man goes, even if the rebooted Ultimate Universe continuity stuff that leads to Peter becoming Spider-Man mostly goes over my head.

I won't be talking about that series too much on here, but maybe every now and then I'll have thoughts on an arc or a particular moment or something. We'll see.

[hollandsfavbabe]

Where Do We Go Now

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which the death of y/n's father leaves her determined to bring him back and her boyfriend peter determined to save her

warnings: endgame aftermath, death, parental loss, isolation, suicide attempt (but magical?), it gets better - I promise

word count: 7.1k

masterlist

a/n: Hey guys. This is going to be a bit longer than my usual notes, but I feel like I should explain why I've been gone for so long and why this story is a lot sadder than my usual ones. My community has been riddled with tragedy recently as we've lost a lot of people to suicide this past year, some of which have been as young as middle school age. One of my friends died by suicide a couple months ago. I can't express to you guys how hard it's been trying to deal with the pain and the guilt his death has caused me and my loved ones. So many days have passed where I wish I could've been a better friend for him while he was here. It hurts more knowing that other people are hurting too. Writing this was the best way for me to cope for many reasons. I wanted to write about how I'm feeling and honor my friend in some way even if it's through a silly little fanfiction. I know I'm late, but I also wanted to honor one of my favorite characters, Tony Stark as he canonically died this past October. That being said, if you are struggling please, I implore you, talk to someone. There are so many people on this planet who would be so torn without you. My dms are always a safe space if you need anything at all <3

Also I'd like to thank Gracie Abrams for her music that I had on repeat the entire time I was writing this. I hope you like it!

“I am Iron Man.”

The words replayed in your head, over and over like a broken record with no one to turn it to a new tune. That’s exactly how you felt. So alone in your grief that even if miraculously every wish you'd ever made in the whole of your existence had been granted, it still wouldn’t be enough to make you happy again. To make you feel anything besides the constant regret and incessant grief that anchored you down as you wasted away in your bed.

It had been exactly a week since the passing of the great Tony Stark. Everyone else in the compound had mourned their coworker, riddled by a somewhat lesser version of your sadness for only a few days after his death. It’s not as if their grief had been washed away as if it never stained their cheeks with tears or weighed down their hearts with sorrow, but it eased much quicker than yours and before long they could continue their duties. Everything was so much harder for you because Tony hadn’t just been a coworker. He was your father.

You relieved every memory you had of him like bittersweet torture. You remembered when he held you as a little girl, wiping up a bloodied knee. When he discovered you had powers and helped you control them. Later on when he banned you from joining in on the Avenger’s Civil War and afterwards when he thanked you for sneaking in to help anyway. You could almost feel his comforting embrace as if it was only yesterday that he was assuring you before a failed battle against the mad Titan Thanos, the same one that left you dusted and missing your father’s last five years on Earth. And finally, of course, you remember his last moments all too well. It played out before you like the tragic ending of a stage play. 

“Let me do it,” you shouted over the sound of war cries and carnage that surrounded you on the packed battlefield. “I can take it!”

You were almost certain that your power, your immeasurable magic, could handle the debilitating strength of the Infinity Stones making you the most reasonable choice for snapping Thanos and his army out of existence, but your father refused to risk losing his eldest.

“No,” he breathed, the metal plate shielding his chest rising and falling from the heat of the action. There was only one way to succeed, only one way to put a stop to the destruction of the universe. It had to be him. “I won’t risk losing you, not while you’re still so young. You have so much life ahead of you.”

“Not without you!” you cried, a tear streaming from your eye.

There wasn’t much time for your conversation as the world was moments away from being wiped of its human history, but despite the odds your father pulled you into a tight hug, as if he knew it would be the last. You both did.

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known and I’m so proud of what you’ve become already.” he smiled when you finally pulled apart.

“I need you dad,” you sobbed, still reluctant to let him leave you. With the threat of his death, suddenly Thanos’ defeat didn’t matter anymore. Not nearly as much as having your father by your side. “I’m not ready.”

Your dad looked down on you with the saddest of smiles, but if any part of him was upset about his decision, he made no other hint toward it. He just held you close for as long as possible and comforted you in the way that you could always count on him for. In the way, it hit you, that you could never count on him for again. But yet, in the face of death, he cradled you close and spoke in his signature fatherly tone: assertive yet on the edge of softness.

“No one’s ever ready -,” he answered truthfully. “- but I know you can handle it. You always do.”

You looked up at him as he finally pulled away and headed towards the purple giant, but not before turning to you for one final declaration.

“I love you, junior, to the edge and back again.”

And then he was gone. You never got the chance to say it back.

Yours was the last name he uttered before his heart stopped beating and the light on his suit went out. By then Pepper had already said her goodbyes and you both were huddled close to his body, weeping as the other Avengers knelt around you in honor of your father. Peter was hunched behind you, one hand on your shoulder while the other worked to wipe away his own tears. Oh Peter, you had your father to thank for him.

It was Tony who was credited with setting you up with your long term boyfriend, Peter Parker, even if it was a complete accident. You two had gotten acquainted on a fateful plane ride to Germany and eventually ended up together after many failed attempts at confessing your feelings. There was something about him that had you smitten with him from your first encounter, your liking only strengthened when you learned that your father approved. He’d been with you through thick and thin and even now, Peter was the only person who could even remotely share your pain besides Pepper. Tony was like his father too.

He’d taken care of you ever since the incident. Brought you food and water, helped you dress in your black attire for the funeral, laid with you in your bed each night to calm you whenever you awoke in a nightmarish terror. He showed his love for you prevailing over his grief in the most selfless of ways and yet all you had managed to do since you father’s funeral was stand to use the restroom every once in a while. It piled on more weight that your poor soul could already take. You were nothing, but a miserable burden now.

The door to your room opened with squealing hinges as Peter stepped in, returning from school where he had spent the morning reuniting with your shared friends and finding out when the official return date was. You were supposed to join him, but instead you hadn’t moved an inch since he left. It wasn’t as if you wanted to waste the entire day in your lonely sheets again. You yearned for everything to go back to how it was; when Peter was happy and you could share it with him. When your father used to smile upon the two teens he didn’t mean to bring together. When your father was alive.

“Hey,” he said, softly as if not to startle you from your endless torturous pondering. He set something down on your dresser, a small stack of papers he must have gathered from the school, and removed his fall coat before sauntering over to you. The bed creaked and shifted under his weight as he took a seat next to you. “Good news, we don’t have to go back until the next semester so we get a break until January. Ned was asking about you. He wants to know how you’re doing.”

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes red-rimmed from all of your crying and your lips cracked and dry.

“What did you tell him?” you croaked, your voice hoarse from under use. There was little to talk about and no one else to talk to whenever Peter wasn’t around. Pepper had visited you once, but with Morgan to look after, she couldn’t spare much time for her late husband’s grieving daughter. You’d seen Happy a couple times as well, but he needed his own time to recover and reflect on his past time with his best friend.

Peter was gentle as he tucked some of the hair strands snot cemented to your jaw behind your ear and cupped your cheek in his palm. He was cold from the autumn chill outside, but his hand ignited the same soothing heat that his touch always brought forth.

“I said you were recovering,” he answered truthfully. “And that it’s different for everyone. And no matter how long it takes, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

The ghost of a smile graced your lips and had it not felt like it stopped beating after losing your father, your heart may have fluttered in its cavity in your chest.

“Thanks Peter,” you curled closer to him in the most sincere of ways. “But I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before I can get up to see Ned again. Give him my best.”

“Take your time. I’m sure he understands.” Peter assured before pulling off his flannel and laying down beside you to wrap you in his arms, allowing you to tuck your face in his chest. As unhappy as you were, all the swirling emotions of suffering were always suppressed by the sound of Peter’s heart and the feel of his body around yours. You stayed like that for a while, holding each other before Peter broke the silence as it neared time for your midday meal.

“I think you should come with me today,” Peter suggested, rising to run his daily lunch retrieval before running a loving hand through your hair. You couldn’t understand how he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. You hadn’t been able to wash in over a week. “It’s not good for you to stay here all day long. You need to start moving.”

His voice was full of worry, though he wasn’t overbearing. He wanted the best for you, it’s all he ever wanted really.

“I don’t know Peter, I don’t think I can.” you sighed as tears started to fill your eyes again. How could anyone stand to be around you when you were being so pathetic. You wished there was a way to erase your pain, anything to bring you to your normal self again.

“It's okay baby,” Peter hugged you into a tight embrace, kissing your tears as they fell in slow salty streams. “I know it hurts, I feel it too. But I read somewhere that the best thing to do is keep a consistent routine. Maybe you should start today. Come get lunch with me.”

You wanted to agree, but there was no part of you that could move from the weight of your grief. It pressed you down, gravity multiplied by the mass of your sadness as it consumed you. It felt as if only a miracle could save you now.

“I’m so sorry.” you stated with remorse, but Peter made no move to share his disappointment if he had any at all. Instead he leaned down from his seated position and placed his lips on your forehead, a gesture as if to say that all was alright.

“Please don’t cry, y/n. It’s okay.” he assured you before standing to leave and get you something that you figured you probably wouldn’t even eat very much of.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, turning the handle of your door to leave before looking back at you sprawled on your bed. Suddenly, as if he had recalled the cure to the rainiest of days, he expression shifted to one of great excitement as he stopped back into your room.

“I almost forgot,” he began. “Doctor Strange was here earlier. He wanted me to tell you he’s offering some meditation sessions for you if you’re interested. He said they’d be good for your powers and that they might help you feel better if you want to think about it. He’s free at 8 tomorrow.”

You nearly perked up at the sound of the man’s name, picking up your head to cast a last longing glance at Peter as he waited for a parting word.

“Thanks,” you managed. “I’ll let you know.”

And off Peter went to get you both something to eat.

You weren’t sure if he knew how dangerous it was for you to be left with your thoughts, how the mention of the magic doctor sprouted a myriad of mystical ideas all aimed at the same goal that would erase your eternal lonesome aching. How to bring your father back. By the time Peter returned with his hands full of two homemade sandwiches and more sweets than the two of you could ever finish in one sitting, your mind had been made up and you were ready to set the plan in motion.

The following evening was your first time out of the confines of your rooms for days. Peter had helped you greatly with all the tasks you did not have the mental power to do all on your own. He had brushed your hair and made your bed and before you left in one of the less expensive cars held on Avenger’s campus, he sent you off adorned with one of his favorite sweatshirts, a peck on the forehead and enough I love you’s to last more than a lifetime.

You pulled the sleeve of Peter’s sweatshirt over your palm as you drove off, using the cloth to wipe away fresh tears that had fallen after you left your boyfriend’s loving gaze. You’d always been an overthinker, but your bad habits crept up on you worse in your unbreakable stage of sadness. Especially in your father’s favorite car.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t left you already. Maybe he would. Peter had offered to join you at Strange’s, but after you insisted you had to go alone, he made plans to go help his Aunt May figure out their apartment situation as the pair had been inadvertently kicked out after being gone for so many years. You’d almost forgotten he used to split his nights between the compound and his own bedroom. Recently he’d only stay with you.

He promised to be back before dinner so that the two of you could keep up your progress, but an unsolicited voice within you convinced you that he wouldn’t want to return. You weren’t good enough for him anymore, not like you used to be. Your plan was better for the both of you and as you pulled up to the familiar building on Bleecker Street, all the pieces started to fall into place.

You stepped up to the door, raising your fist to knock only for the door to crack open by itself as if to invite you in. You waited for the familiar sternness of Doctor Strange’s voice to greet you once you were past the stone floored foyer, but only wisps of the autumn breeze caught your ear. 

“Strange?” you called, your voice still not stable enough to be louder than a whispery dialogue. You were met with no response. It was just like you had planned. The wizard wasn’t home.

You felt a strong tug towards the room of your desires, the forbidden library. It was as if fate was leading you or some other force from above, another sign that you were meant to do it.

Your steps were more sure than they had been in days as you made your way to the self, passing any magical fire walls with the sheer unfiltered strength of your powers. Strange once told you that they were guided by your emotion, the quintessential essence of every magic holder even to people like you and Wanda Maximoff who were outside of his world protecting wizard cult. It was easier than it should have been, like slicing paper with a katana, you broke each enchantment until all that was left was the cool leather cover of the book you were looking for. The book with every answer you needed inside its ancient yellowing pages, but you only needed the spell that would revive your father. Locating it near the middle of the book, your tore out the page and turned back to your car, leaving the Sanctum with the same unhurried pace you had entered it with. There was no stopping you now.

Peter was only an half an hour late for your agreed meet up time when he arrived at the campus. He expected you’d be in your room as per usual and as he made his way to your door, the excitement of getting to hold you and talk about your first day out of the campus since the funeral built up in his chest. He wasn’t sure if any accomplishment in the world could make him as proud as he was of you. With two brown paper bags of groceries in his hand, he couldn’t wait to shower you in the affection that you deserved with all of your favorite snacks, enough to share of course.

“Y/n,” he smiled, using his webbing to open your door handle only to find, much to his disappointment, that you were nowhere to be found.

He checked all over campus, leaving the bags by your bed. No one had seen you since you’d left and the spot where the car you’d taken was still empty, the normally pristine concrete covered in fallen crisp maroon leaves. It didn’t make any sense. Where could you possibly have gone?

“Y/n!” he called, circling the perimeter of the campus looking for you. There was still no sign of your reappearance. “Y/n- oh. Hi Ms. Maximoff.” Peter forced a strained smile as he nearly bumped into the woman.

“Peter, we’ve been over this,” Wanda answered, her voice calm. “You can call me Wanda.”

Like you, the witch hadn’t been doing the best in recent days as she had lost something just as valuable as a father: her partner. While she occasionally had days where the ground would’ve been lucky to feel the grace of her step, her superhero duties had kept her from spending each day hidden from society. She had a different way of coping, but like others, she seemed to start getting back into routine again.

“Right, sorry Wanda.” Peter apologized.

“What are you doing out here?” inquired the witch in her native Sokovian accent, always intuitive. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s y/n. I can’t find her anywhere and we agreed to meet back here nearly - an hour ago!” Peter pulled up his coat sleeve to check the time on his watch, the face of which bore a picture of him and your father from only a few months before the snap. It had been a birthday gift, one of his favorites in fact, though it couldn't top what you had given him the same year: a lego set and your first kiss.

“I didn’t know that she got out of bed. That’s a big step!” 

“Yes it is and we were going to celebrate tonight, but she hasn’t come back yet which is really not like her.” worried Peter.

“Where did she go?”

“Strange’s. He was going to give her a meditation lesson for her powers.”

Confused, Wanda's eyebrow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Doesn’t she know how to use them already?”

“Yes, but he thought it would help her manage her grief. Working out is a pretty common method, but she hates going to the gym so he figured some meditation would be better for her and -“

“Wait, hold on. Did she go to him this morning?”

“Yes and she was supposed to be back around noon, but it’s nearly six and she’s still gone.” Peter explained.

“Peter!” Wanda chided. She couldn't believe he could make such a grave mistake.

“What?”

“Strange hasn’t been at the Sanctum all day!”

“What?! Where is he?”

“Do I look like a wizard to you?" the witch gestured to her casual leggings and cardigan pairing that drastically differed from Strange's usual eccentric costumes. "How should I know?”

As if summoned by the topic of conversation, a figure appeared in the distant grass, hovering over the blades until he was close enough to be able to walk. His cape that flowed in the breeze like a blood red stream with a mind of its own was a dead give away. Doctor Strange had indeed arrived in the flesh.

“Parker,” he greeted, though he did not smile. “Is Ms. Stark ready for our lesson?”

Peter’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake.

“Oh no.” he muttered, shaking his head in defeat. He was met with confusion from the wizard.

“No?” Strange repeated. “We agreed upon 8 didn't we? I know I'm a little early, but I assumed she wouldn't be busy. Didn’t you let her know I was coming?”

“Yes,” Peter confirmed. “I told her to be ready and then I sent her off to your place at 8… am.”

“What?!” Strange exclaimed as he summoned a portal to appear leading directly to his found home on Bleecker Street. He stepped through the fiery ring, a silent invitation for the others to follow as he hurried passed your car, up the steps, and into the door which did not part of him the same way it had earlier. Inside he was met with the most frightful of discovers accompanied by the looming feeling of doom as the situation became clear.

The Sanctum, unguarded with his absence, lay littered with books that had fallen from their homes on his shelf’s yet one stood out from all the others. It laid on the floor open with its pages to the ground while every other book was shut. Levitating it with the simple flick of his wrist, a horrifying sight awaited Strange as he turned it over. One of the pages in the sacred book was missing.

“Do you know how serious this is?!” Strange exclaimed and although Peter at first took it as a barbed criticism aimed directly at him, he was able to distinguish Strange’s tone from when he was reprimanding. This was a separate kind of worry, the sort of tone that he had used heavily on the fated spaceship you three had been stuck in until you landed on Titan, Thanos’ home world, nearly five years ago. Treachery was afoot and if your powers were involved, the whole fabric of your current reality could change.

“Which one did she take?” Wanda pointed to the book, clearly noticing the giant tear in its center.

Strange’s voice answered, heavy with concern. “The revival spell.”

“You don’t think she knows, do you? She can’t possibly know how to conjure it.” asked Wanda, the same concern for their future written all over her face.

“That’s exactly what I think.” Strange confirmed.

“What?” Peter asked. “What are you guys talking about?”

“There are many types of magic, Parker, and the Sanctum, the building where you sent your girlfriend, is full of all of them, good and bad alike. Every spell comes with a price, the bigger the spell, the bigger the price and the spell she took comes with one of the biggest prices there is to pay.”

“Think about it, Peter,” Wanda paled. “What does y/n want most in the world right now?”

It hit Peter harder than fresh fallen hail. You were going to try to bring your father back.

“We have to find her. Now.”

Strange tried to use his sling ring to appear wherever you were, but in your grief, the extent of your powers had grown massively. Intentionally or not, you managed to prevent even the most powerful of wizards from using his Sling Ring to access your location.

“She's blocked me out.” Strange frowned. “We’re going to have to track her on foot.”

“She can’t be far,” Peter agreed. “She always takes the shortest path whenever she wants something.” It was one of the many things he loved about you: your ability to turn any taxing task into something much simpler. You were one of the cleverest people he knew. He just hoped it didn’t work in your favor this time.

It was Wanda who had the idea of tracking your magic. She led them to the nearest withering woodland area, where trees with bare branches and dying leaves sprawled endlessly. It was the perfect place to perform dark magic, away from the unyielding eyes of society. The trio didn’t hesitate to run in.

The further they got, the closer you felt especially to Peter despite the fact that he was the only one without his own source of magic. If he lost you tonight, he feared he’d never feel any sort of magic ever again.

They were only half an acre in when Wanda and Strange called out in anguish, the witch falling to her knees while Strange stayed standing, pounding the air with his fist as his trying to break through an invisible barrier though it was to no avail. Whatever was holding him back, it wasn’t fading anytime soon.

“Keep going, Parker!” he shouted, urging Peter forward. “You’re the only one who can stop her. The spell will only allow that which she loves.”

“How do I do it?” Peter shouted. “How do I stop the spell?”

“The page,” Wanda replied, quicker than Strange could as his reply was easy for her to access. “You have to tear it apart.”

Without wasting a second more, Peter sprung back towards where he could feel you, running without fatigue as his superhuman endurance supplied him with plenty of energy.

It was only a minute later that he caught his first sign of you. There was a break in the tree line out of which a bright amber glow poured like an incandescent warning. It was a dramatic contrast from the normal comforting emerald greens of your magic, but it was you nonetheless and Peter didn’t stop until he was so close he had to shade his eyes from the light.

If it weren’t for the dark nature of what you were doing, Peter would’ve considered it one of the most beautiful events he’d ever seen take place. He wasn’t sure if the circle of trees that surrounded you had been a natural formation or one you made for the sake of the spell, but he was sure the way they seemed to bend to your will, despite the hard wood of their birch trunks, had to be because of your power. In the center of it all was you and the page you had stolen atop a pile of purple and golden leaves. You stood before it, eyes closed as you whispered some sort of incantation. Your powers spread above you in orange flickering flames as you outstretched your arms and summoned what looked like the beginnings of a portal, though it was hard to peer through like a bride covered in a veil of night black.

Peter shouted your name, screaming for you to stop, but you didn’t so much as flinch as the portal grew. You couldn’t hear him over the force of your will. He could start to feel what Wanda and Strange were trapped behind. There was some sort of invisible wall that threatened to push him back from you, but he couldn’t be defeated. He had to stop you. Step by step, he got closer and closer to you, watching in horror as your body was lifted from the ground and floated in midair. A new energy started weeping through the fabric that covered your chest, soft and white like a sheer glittering fabric. It drifted towards the portal and as Peter neared you he could make out the outline of a face forming from it in the black center of it. It started to take shape, growing a neck and a body and becoming more concrete than a fragmented part of your energy. He became more unmistakable as the color grew back into his face. Tony Stark, in the flesh. Peter hurried towards the page.

You opened your eyes to gaze into the face of your father, tears flowing down your face partially from the exhaustion of bringing him back and from being able to see him again.

You tried to say something, tell him how much you had missed him, but you were left rendered without a voice. Your words came out as mouthed nonsense, though it seemed he had regained his voice.

“Y/n,” he uttered, though it seemed more like a warning than a greeting after being torn from you for so long.

You mouthed something you knew he’d understand. I love you too, dad.

Some other force called your name, but you ignored it. You couldn’t focus on anything else, but the father you had lost regaining life right in front of you. With every part that he gained, you felt a part of your fade. It wasn’t painful, more numbing than anything like the final dose to end all your sadness. You couldn’t help but relish in it. You were bringing back one of the greatest men to ever live.

You were so distracted, you missed the web that landed on the page below you and pulled it away.

“Y/n,” your dad said again, nearly having enough of one of his legs to step out of the portal when suddenly, the inky blackness swallowed him whole again and dissolved in the forest light, taking back the only thing you ever wanted.

“NO!” you cried as your voice returned to you and you fell back down to the dry grass and dead leaves, crumpled on the forest floor as all of the magic you had summoned faded away save for the glittering cloud that returned to your chest with such force it made you cough. You had failed.

“Y/n!” someone called and you shuddered away from their hand on your shoulder as loud sobs erupted from you. 

“Leave me!” you begged. “Just leave!” Peter refused to leave your side, tossing behind him the page he had shredded into tiny scraps of paper as he knelt beside you, careful not to touch you again. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you take him from me?”

“You were going to die! I couldn’t let you di-“

“I WANTED TO DIE!”

Peter froze as you whimpered, the truth spreading above the both of you in the cold air like storm clouds as you cried to him.

“I want him back. Everyone wants him back. No one cares about his depressed daughter and I don’t want to hurt anymore, Peter.” you paused to take a deep breath. “It- it hurts so much.” you could barely get the words out as you were choked by your sobs. “It hurts knowing I could’ve saved him. It hurts knowing it should’ve been me that snapped those stupid stones. And I don’t want to live with that anymore. I had to try to bring him back for the world. It needs him more than it needs me.”

You brought a hand to your face, wiping away some of your tears, though it was no use as more came pouring out.

“I need you.” uttered Peter, looking into your glossy eyes. The sight of your tears and the echo of your screams couldn’t deter him from you. You can’t be repelled from the ones that you love.

“But you miss him, don’t you,” you argued as hot tears coated your face. “You want him back too.”

Peter nodded in agreement.

“I think about him everyday. Our moments together. Like this one time he saved me from drowning in a lake. Or-“ Peter grinned. “- remember when he caught us making out that one time before we told him we were together. He was so mad.” Peter smiled to himself, looking fondly on the memory until he began again.

“I miss him so much and it makes me so sad that I'll never see him again. But I wouldn’t trade you for him. I wouldn't trade you for anyone. You’re worth more to me than anyone else in the universe.”

Your sobs slowed yet the tears did not cease as they still cascaded down your face.

“It hurts me so much.” you restated.

Peter opened his arms. “May I?” he asked. You nodded and before you knew it, you were engulfed by a warmth unlike any other as Peter hugged you tight enough to make sure you wouldn’t try to leave him again.

“I know you do,” he related. "And I wish I could take it away. I wish I could just bag all your pain and throw it all away. But it doesn't work like that. It's going to hurt. It's going to be painful, so much so that you won't move from bed for days and days. You haven't." 

"But I feel like everyone else has already moved on. Why can't I?" you shivered.

"No one else was as close to him as you. Everyone else lost a friend. You lost a father. There's a big difference. You can't expect yourself to move on from it. That's not healthy. It's just like I said, I'm here for you no matter how long it takes. You have to take your time with it, don’t rush the process." Peter pressed the lightest of kisses to one of your dampened cheeks.

"I just don't know what to do."

"Breathe."

As silly as it sounded in its simplicity you did as he instructed and inhaled deeply, allowing the air to coat your lungs that hadn’t been exposed to so much fresh air in a week. As you exhaled, you let out another sob in his arms, but somehow it felt better than all the others. You were not rid of your pain by any means and sadness still corroded your core, but for the first time in so long, you didn’t feel so hopeless. Peter placed another gentle kiss on your cheek, encouraging you as you took several more slow breaths and quiet cries until you found the strength to speak again.

“Was it like this for you when your parents died?” you wondered aloud as you pulled away from Peter to look into his chocolate brown eyes that you almost forgot you loved so much, yet not so far that he couldn't keep his arms around your frame that was still bearing his sweatshirt. You hadn’t spoken much about them before and while you weren’t sure where the question had arisen from, it felt like the right thing to ask.

“I was so young when they passed, sometimes I feel like they were never mine to begin with,” he admitted. “I took a couple days off school when it happened, but I don’t remember crying all that much. It’s tragic and sometimes it makes me sad that they’re gone, but I’m glad that it does. It’s a reminder that they were there for me in the first place, that I knew them enough to miss them. The grief is proof that I loved them while they were here.”

You were both silent for a moment as you thought about his words in relation to your situation. All your pain was put into perspective. Everything you had been through since he died, all the days you wasted away in bed, it was all the proof that you had loved him so much when he was alive and that you were still carrying the love you had left for him. You missed your father so much you were willing to die to get him back and for a moment, you almost did.

You parted from Peter’s arms to stand though you still grasped onto his hands as you weren’t strong enough to be upright on your own. You closed your eyes again and listened to the sound of the forest, the swaying of the leaves that still clung to their branches, the faint twittering of birds, and the calm of the sky that was oddly cloudless for autumn. The sound of your name falling from your father’s reformed lips was still faint in the air and for a moment you felt as though you were with him again.

You remembered when he taught you how to ride a bike one evening when you were only four. You remembered the day he pulled you from public school and started teaching you at home. You remembered the look of shock on his face when you showed him your powers for the first time and even more, you remember his pride when you completed your first mission with the Avengers (that he'd approved ahead of time to avoid any more Germany -like surprises). He wasn’t there, but at the same time he was everywhere. And you missed him, but at the same time the absence he left in your life felt less empty.

The tears came out in slow smooth streams, flowing down in slow trickles as you finally sat back down. You didn’t say anything and neither did Peter, but you knew he could feel what you felt. He could feel your father too and minutes slipped by as you sat and cried together.

There was a sudden rustling in the distance and soon enough, Doctor Strange and Wanda had arrived at the scene, no longer held back by invisible barriers. They rushed to you bringing flooding guilt through your system as you began to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” you cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Strange opened his mouth to speak, but he had nothing to say. You could tell by his expression that he was disappointed, but there was more to it. He had empathy.

It was Wanda that leaned down to place a friendly hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s get you home.”

The months following were some of the hardest of your life. Every battle you faced was uphill, but you no longer felt like you were fighting alone. You started going out again, first to visit Pepper and your half sister Morgan who lived in their cabin home. Peter joined you of course, but he played with Morgan for the most part while you and Pepper talked. You cried with her, but you laughed a lot too. She shared with you so many of her own memories, times when your father didn't know what to get you for your birthday, when he had managed to mess up cooking dinner in the strangest of ways, and when he’d accidentally burned your favorite stuffed animal in the drying machine all of which Pepper had to remedy. Though she hadn’t raised you, she was the mother you never had and through her stories you learned that your father had been just as good raising Morgan with her as he had been with you.

You hung out with Ned and MJ again shortly after that. While Peter had suggested a brief check-in at a cafe so you could go home quickly to rest, you surprised him with a much more time consuming idea: laser tag. The four of you had the best time targeting each other, you winning more rounds than any of the others. You ended the day with smoothies, talking as you drank and making plans for the next time you would all see each other. MJ made you promise you would text her if you ever needed anything and Ned gave you a whole plate of his Lola’s ensaymadas, your favorite dish of hers.

Finally, though he was locked up in his house and avoiding humanity, you visited Happy. Peter offered to join you like all the other times, but you assured him it would be best if he stayed home, promising you would return later. Happy was in a similar state of dismay to you when you saw him and while he was able to care for himself and continue with his personal routine, you could tell he was hurting.

You didn't say much when you first entered his apartment, but there was comfort within the silence. You sat with him on his sofa and watched whatever mind numbing program he had turned on to distract his thoughts until you had both worked up an appetite for lunch. It was there, in the middle of a random Burger King in Queens over a plate of cheeseburgers that you both broke down. You told him what you had nearly done, trusting him with the sensitive information as he was almost a second father to you. You took your time telling him the story of how you had nearly died to bring back your father.

Happy cried as you did and when you were finished, he told you how much you meant to him. He traded your story for one from your father after he returned from Afghanistan where he had famously been kidnapped.

"You could tell he was shaken," Happy began. "He told me he wasn't scared to die, but he was scared of losing time with you and leaving you alone. Pepper and I had been so busy trying to get him back, he was worried you had been neglected while he was gone. But when he came home and he saw your room clean, your toys put away, and a fridge full of leftovers from meals you prepared yourself, he was so proud. You inspired him to turn his life around. It was after that he told me that he knew you'd be okay if he was taken from us one day."

You both cried after that.

Long after you had finished your food, Happy drove you to the Parker's new apartment with the promise that he would be okay too, eventually. He also admitted that he was starting to develop quite the liking for your faithful boyfriend after hearing all that he had done for you, though he’d skin you alive if you ever told Peter.

It was that night in Peter's new bedroom that you knew you’d be okay. It still hurt to think of your father and you knew you’d never entirely recover and that the pain would never fully leave you, but there was a certain comfort in it now. You knew Peter felt it too as he snuggled half asleep into your side, his arm slung around your body in a protective manner, but also to keep from falling of the twin bed you shared as he let you sleep on the side with the wall. There were still days when you didn’t want to leave your bed, but there were also days when you felt more elated than ever. You could feel your father in those moments the most, like the shine of his smile took form in the light from the sun. You couldn’t see him nor could you speak with him, but you knew he wasn’t really gone. It was love that kept him around. And it was the love you carried for him that would suspend you for lifetimes, through light and dark until the end of time.

“I hope this grief stays with me because its all the unexpressed love” - Andrew Garfield 💙

[sciderman]

Which version of Peter Parker/Spider-Man did you fall in love with??

Honestly i loved the ultimate spider-man version, he was the starting point to my long obsession with anything Spidey related (especially with you and your blog❤️)

it's insane now that you can say "ultimate spider-man" and i don't know if you mean the 2000s comics ultimate spider-man, the television ultimate spider-man, or the present ultimate spider-man.

which of these men is your man??

they can't ALL be ultimate. how can they ALL be ultimate. ultimate means ONE. the ultimate. they can't all b

come ON now!! they're just throwing that word around!!

i know you probably don't mean the present ultimate, he's too new. unless he is your guy. in which case, welcome to hell, you fresh baby, you. if you mean ultimate spider-man the cartoon, then mad respect. you must be pretty freaky. i am too (he was one of my first exposures to spider-man too. and i liked it. i'm pretty freaky.)

if it's the ultimate comics version (objectively the best one) - then nice. good taste. very respectable and normal of you. he is very cute and i love him. but also want to wring his neck. which is the sign of a good peter parker.

little twerp. i hate him.

funnily enough the thing that sparked my spider-man hyperfixation was actually an aerial silks artist in a circus who was dressed as spider-man.

yeah. i had watched the tobey maguire movies when i was a kid in the cinema but i didn't like them at the time (didn't appreciate them) (was too young) (thought tobey's face was weird) (didn't get it) and actually, funnily, had NO interest in seeing the andrew garfield movies at all because the cynical child i was said "why are they rebooting spider-man?? didn't they just make a spider-man like three years ago??" i literally had no interest in spider-man at all as a child. at all. i didn't get it. wasn't into it. didn't see tasm1 in the cinema. had no interest in spider-man at all until i saw that aerial silks artist gyrating around in his tight tights and thought "hm."

i started drawing spider-man before i started reading him. and actually, i started reading deadpool long before i started reading spider-man. deadpool was kind of the guy where i thought "if i ever get into comics, it'll probably be deadpool." i knew a lot more about deadpool. i saw all the memes on the internet at 13 years old and thought "haha yeah this guy is funny. not like spider-man. spider-man is lame and for babies. this guy is like spider-man but if spider-man was funny and cool and not for babies."

so when the day finally came where i said "today is the day im going to start reading comics", it was deadpool, not spider-man. but i kept running into spider-man in the comics and he wasn't lame and boring like i thought he was. he was funny and sharp and kind of bitchy actually. and so i kind of liked him. and started reading him.

first i read all the spider-man and deadpool team-ups, first. because i was eating my way through all the deadpool i could. so i read like, all of deadpool before i started diving into spider-man. and i think i started watching the ultimate spider-man cartoon here-or-there before i started picking up the spider-man comics.

eventually i watched tasm1 and then tasm2 in theatres, and i kind of fell in love with andrew. i loved him so much more than tobey. he was just so sad and pitiful but also very pretty, and just – i don't know, there was this indie charm to tasm1 that i kind of loved. not all the hollywood melodrama of the raimi movies - it felt like a real messy, dumb kid who was figuring it out. and i loved him.

a baby boy. baby.

so i think andrew was the peter parker i fell in love with. i started writing him after i watched tasm2 - he's the blueprint for 9319 peter - i hadn't read very much spider-man when i started writing ask-spiderpool - i'd eaten through all of the deadpool canon, but tasm was kind of the springboard for how i approached peter. it was meant to be andrew. i started diving into spider-man comics as i wrote the blog, and started from #1, way back in the 60s. and just fell in love with peter parker more and more the more i read him. but i think andrew will always be my first love. he was the blueprint, and i think - no matter how much of 616 canon i adopt into 9319 - the peter parker i write is always mostly andrew, but recontexualised.

[reidslovely]

hello! first of all, i love your writing! now, i was thinking... peter parker x adhd!reader!

maybe the reader is, for some reason, extra hyperactive and cannot stay quiet if their life depended on it, i'd like to see how peter would react! thx in advance!

Hi friend!! Thank you for requesting and than you for reading, I was having some questions on if I should write this as I am not diagnosed with adhd, but I am neurodivergent so I relate heavily to what is being said, so I'm gonna write it from more of my personal experience, hope that is okay :) 🫶🏼 sorry it's short, just a little blurb until finals week is over.

"-and I just don't think people understand that about his character. He's much, much, MUCH more complex than these movies make him out to be, Pete. And I mean yeah, I get it I do but these movies have the funding that the others didn't they could easily add a little more development. I will always prefer the reboot from a few years back his portrayal of the character is more..why are you staring at me?"

As you spoke you bounced on your legs talking vigorously with your hands. This movie night was Peters one and only plan to get you to calm down and relax from the day that started with you rearranging the living room and the bedroom, you having told him you have to be doing something today.

He helped you there but when he left for a quick super hero emergency he returned to find you still in your hyperactive cleaning, however everything had been strung out everywhere. stuff from the counters sitting on the floor seemingly forgotten as you had already moved from kitchen to living room mid way through. He picked up the kitchen, and returned to you.

Peter gave a slight squeeze on the shoulders smiling at you. "Why don't we call it a day on cleaning, and finish some other time? Mhm why don't we watch a movie."

You both settled on a move you had seen a thousand times. Peter knew there was no way to stop you automatically and it would phase out, however he's learned to embrace it. You changed positions multiple times, finally settling between his legs. you still squirmed and moved around, Peter chuckled jokingly leg locking you into place, which ended up in a quickly won wrestle fight on his part.

You had immediately begun comparing the reboots of the film over the years, chatting his ear off about it. Information you've 100% told him before but he wasn't going to tell you that. You looking up more facts on your phone, turned into watching TikToks about it halfway through the movie, towards the end you finally started talking again bringing a smile to Pete's face. Enough to let his legs slip that caused you to sit up, changing your position.

In that moment it was like you finally stopped for a breath, Peter held back a chuckle a loving smile on his lips. His fingers brushing hair off your face. He could listen to you

"Nothing I'm just enjoying you rambling about a movie we've seen for the one hundredth time." He leans in as he teases you, his nose bumping yours. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just have so much to say today." "You have a lot of energy today." Peter corrects with a chesty laugh. "I mean I can't complain I'd listen to you talk all day if you'd let me."

Sharing a quick kiss Peter felt you start to get up, he gasped and wrapped his legs around your waist pulling you into his chest. 'Let's watch the sequel and you can tell me all the stuff you hate about it too." "Can't promise I'll make it through the other one." 'Let's give it a go." He winks, pulling you back down starting the second movie.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Spider-man: Across the Spider-Verse Trailer Thoughts

Can I just start this post off by saying that I am totally normal? Over this movie? Perfectly reasonable in my level of hype and mentally well in every way? Mhm, trust me. Anyway, onto the blurbs!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Seems Miles is at his teenage rebellion stage

-Miles' teacher telling him he's not doing too well in Spanish in front of his Puerto Rican mother is an ouch (in that it's hilarious, but not for him. Sorry Miles)

-Seems there's gonna be a rift between Miles and his parents now that he's Spider-Man full time and very much keeping it secret from them; maybe this movie is where they find out?

-Across the Spider Verse seems to also have a core theme of Miles going against the grain and doing things his way, forging his own individual path for how he wants to do Spider-Man. Looking forward to seeing a more grown up Miles that is able to go further into his self-exploration now that he's reaching older teen/young adulthood.

-I think Gwen and Miles might get together this movie which... eh. Alright. No hate to the ship, but the first movie felt very platonic save for Miles liking her cause she's a pretty girl, and rip to cishet society but that ain't enough to sell me on a relationship. Maybe they'll get some development in this movie? Until possibly that I'm just gonna enjoy them as friends personally

-Apparently Oscar Isaac voices Miguel... Doctor Strange was not kidding when he said the multiverse got screwed in NWH

-Here we have Jessica Drew, Marvel's first (continuous) Spider-Woman! She looks awesome, and based on how often she appeared in the trailer, I'm assuming she will play a key role.

-I also suspect she will help push the narrative around ATSV's theme of parenthood, with Miles having issues with his own, and Peter becoming a father.

-Regarding the race change for Jessica, I earlier referred to her as the first "continuous" Spider-Woman, because she was the first woman to notably don the spidey title. However, the first official Spider-Woman was actually a one-off character named Valerie the Librarian. Originally, Valerie had no powers; she instead went around as a non-super helping Peter Parker's Spidey in any way she could. Spider Verse has always been by black people for black people, so it doesn't surprise me that they (allegedly) are honing back to Valerie, a black woman and the first official Spider-Woman, to base Jessica's appearance on. Goes to show the creators did their homework, which I'm pleased to see.

She is so beautiful ma'am please take my hand in marriage; also, she's pregnant! She is literally hero-ing while pregnant, which I've realized is not something we really see like... ever. Granted, because its dangerous, but Spider Verse has always made strides to give more diverse female representation, and a pregnant spidey mirroring pregnant working women seems to be next on their list. Happy to see it!

-We got Miguel O'Hara! Admittedly I'm not the most familiar with him, but one doesn't traverse Marvel comic fandom without having heard of this guy. Based on what I'm seeing in the trailer, he looks like a very fun character and I'm excited to know more

-"Don't even get me started on Doctor Strange and the little nerd back on Earth-199999." I am... so normal about the acknowledgment of the MCU in Spiderverse. The multiverse really is converging, which on a meta sense is something I absolutely love so I am very excited to see where the Marvel universe heads.

-Also people have been saying Feige stated the MCU was Earth-616 and Spider Verse went against that, which they're happy about, so if someone could fill me in on what happens in Earth-616 I'd appreciate it!

Peter's back! And he has a spider baby! From what I've seen this is Mayday Parker, daughter of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, and she does indeed get her father's spider abilities in the comics. Perhaps we'll see more of her in the future?...👀

Stab me, it would hurt less.

(Looks like Gwen's backstory is being explored more, which is a hooray moment, but its exploring her trauma, which is less hooray.)

And of course... the meme, made multiversal. (Is that fucking PS5 Spiderman)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's about it, very excited for this movie, also afraid, but mostly excited! See y'all when it drops!

[littlespacereader]

Haiii, I hope this request iss Oki:

I'm a trans male little who sometimes still has to deal with periods.. they make me feel very dysphoric and sad, often causing me to regress..

Could you write a fic with that theme?

I'm not set on one specific fandom, here are some options I'd love to see & you can choose wich one you want to go with!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[The little one would be a trans guy in every scenario.]

Stranger Things:

Steve and Eddie, both are flips in my hc, so it could be each way around.

Cg Argyle & little Jonathan Byers

Cg Nancy Wheeler & little Steve Harrington

Marvel:

Cg Wade Wilson & little Peter Parker

Cg Gwen Stacy & little Miles Morales

Criminal Minds:

Cg Jennifer Jareau & little Spencer Reid (other cg options: Penelope or Derek)

Teen Wolf:

Cg Noah Stilinski & little Stiles Stilinski (other cg options: Melissa or Scott)

Cg Boyd & little Isaac Lahey

Supernatural:

Cg Dean Winchester & little Sam Winchester

American Horror Story coven:

Cg Violet Harmon & little Kyle Spencer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, yeah.. any of those would be cool hehe

Thank you for reading!!

My first ever request!! Thank you so much!! I was so excited and intrigued by your idea! First off I would like to state that I am not trans myself but I am a HUGE Ally to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community! Know that you’re safe with me and I got your back💞 I absolutely loved the list of fandoms and pairings to chose from. I decided to go with Caregiver! JJ and make the Reader the Little with Spencer as an older brother Little. That being said if I don’t do this story justice I apologize from the bottom of my heart! I hope you enjoy this @dino-boyo-agere ! Thank you again for the request!!

Forever Mommy’s Little Boy

Caregiver! JJ & Trans Male Little! Reader with Big Brother Little! Spencer Reid

Tags: mentions of period, pull-ups, hurt and comfort. (Completely SFW)

Relationships: Caregiver! JJ, Uncle Derek Morgan, Big brother little! Spencer Reid, Aunt Penelope Garcia, & Trans male little! Reader.

Nicknames: baby, sweatheart, baby boy, kiddo

Breathe! Just breathe! It’s only about 10 minutes more and we’ll be going home. I can wait that long.

I sat at my desk and was waiting patiently for JJ or Morgan or literally any Caregiver in this office to announce we would be heading home. They would’ve been wrapping up everything by now…what’s taking so long?

The case, like every case before it, was long and exhausting. All I want to do is collapse into JJ’s arms and just be babied for the rest of the night but we were still stuck at work!

Regression played the devil on my shoulder, teasing and taunting me to regress at work. But I couldn’t, not yet. I had to remain big till we got to the car, then I could regress and finally relax for the weekend.

I checked again to see if any Caregivers had finished their files. Morgan sat at the desk across from me and he was still leaned down working, same went for JJ who I wanted more than anyone to finish her paperwork. The rest of the team looked the same, all expect Spencer who, like myself, finished his work early.

Spencer regresses as well. He acts as my older brother, watching out for me and creating all the creative pretend games. I’m so lucky to have him!

With a glance towards him I could see he was struggling to keep from regressing as well. At least I wasn’t alone.

Then suddenly I felt off, like weirdly off. It was a weird feeling I haven’t felt in- oh God no. I must be wrong. I have to be wrong. I quickly stood up from my desk and rushed off to the restroom. I walked in and quickly closed the stall door behind me before checking to see.

Sure enough my period arrived earlier and heavier than expected. And since I was unprepared my pants and underwear are stained noticeably. I tried my hardest to push back tears threatening to spill.

This is dead to me. This…this period, it’s just a nagging reminder of a life that didn’t feel whole. A life that wasn’t really mine, not like now. But this was just a hurtful reminder, one I definitely didn’t need right now.

This combined with my struggle to not regress was not a great combo. With a last ditch effort I cleaned myself up as best as I could before walking out and looking in the mirror. But sad and terrible thoughts plagued my mind.

Tears started to run down my face. There was no holding back my regression now. Immediately I started to just regress, feeling smaller and smaller every minute. I just wanted JJ. I wanted her to hold me and tell me it’s all okay. Tell me I’m her sweet little boy and not-

“Y/n?” Spencer asked before entering the large bathroom. He immediately froze upon seeing me.

“Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” I must’ve caused a domino effect because I could see Spencer regressing along with me.

“Nothing, I’m fine Spence.” I tried to say, wiping away my tears as fast as possible. But Spencer wasn’t buying it. He also didn’t seem to notice the issue which I was grateful for.

“I know something’s wrong. Let me help! I want to make sure you’re okay…please.” He put a hand in my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

“I’m fine I just-…. P-Please…get mommy.” I said, barley a whisper. Tears starts to flow again, running down my face as I started to cry.

“It’s gonna be okay. I’ll go get her.” Spencer right away said. As much as he didn’t want to leave, he knew there was only one person who could fix whatever was happening.

~~~

JJ sat at her desk finishing up the last details on her case file. Even though they were still at work her careful Caregiver eyes spotted Y/n leaving the bullpen, and then Spencer right after.

A sinking feeling fell upon her that something was wrong, call it a Caregiver’s Spidey sense. She wishes for once she was wrong. Spencer came rushing over to her, worried and sad.

“M-…JJ, something’s wrong with Y/n.” He tried to explain sounding like his normal adult self. But his regression was in full swing and JJ could easily see it.

“What’s going on? Where is he sweetheart?” Now she was worried. A thousand questions played in her mind.

“The bathroom. I walked in to see if he was okay and I found him crying by the sink. I tried to help but he only asked for you.” Spencer explained.

JJ stood up from her desk and placed a comforting hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “Thank you for looking out for your little brother and making sure he’s okay. I’m going to take care of this, and while I’m gone I want you to go to Aunt Penelope’s office and keep her company. Okay?”

Spencer nodded. “Okay…but just-.” He stopped for a moment, looking up at JJ with tears in his eyes. “Just make sure he’s okay. I’m worried about him.”

She smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I know you are sweetheart. I promise I’ll make sure Y/N’s okay.”

With that small reassurance Spencer nodded and left heading towards Garcia’s office. With Spencer taken care of JJ turned her attention to the bathroom.

When she arrived she could hear Y/n soft cries and sniffing. She knocked on the door, “Y/N? It’s me baby, it’s Mommy. Can I come in?”

Even though it was a public bathroom filled with different stalls and sinks, she wanted permission to enter his space instead of barging in.

If she wasn’t listening as closely she could’ve missed the soft “You can come in.”

JJ immediately walked in and closed the main bathroom door behind her, locking it. If someone needed the bathroom they could go to the one a floor down. For right now they needed this space, just the two of them.

Once JJ and Y/N made eye contact, it was as if the world paused so the two of them could have a moment alone together.

Her heart shattered seeing Y/N so broken and upset. She instantly made her way over to her boy and wrapped him into a tight comforting hug.

“My baby boy, what’s wrong sweetheart? What’s happened?” She asked but didn’t get much in the way of a response.

Y/N just cried into JJ shoulder, finally getting the comfort he’s wanted after this long case.

JJ decided to help Y/N along with figuring out why he was so upset. She rubbed his back with one hand and played with his hair in the other. She could tell he wasn’t in the mode to talk and that was okay. Yes and no questions it was then.

“Did someone hurt you?” She asked. He shook his head against her.

“Did someone say something to you?” Another no from him.

Thank God those were two no’s. Because if they weren’t, she would’ve killed someone.

“Sweetheart,” She said pulling them apart and looking into his teary eyes. “I want to help you as best I can right now. But I can only do it when I know what’s going on. You don’t have to talk if you don’t feel like it right now. But you have to give me an idea what’s going on.” She explained.

Y/N nodded wearily. He turned around and pointed to his pants which now sadly had a small red blood stain on the back.

Immediately it all clicked into place for JJ. “Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry this happened. You’re okay baby boy, you’re okay.” She pulled him back up against her, holding him in a tight hug once more.

“Baby boy?” He broke apart and looked at JJ.

Her heart shattered at the question. She caressed his face and placed a kiss to the crown of his head, “You will always be my baby boy. This will not change that. It never has and it never will.”

More tears started to run down Y/N’s face hearing those words. JJ almost fell backwards by the force of the next hug he gave her.

“It’s okay baby. You’re okay. Mommy’s going to make it all better.” JJ said, rubbing his back to comfort him so more.

When the tears dried and his breath started to slow to a normal rate, JJ broke apart from her boy and wiped the last of the tears away.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do, I’m going to get you set up in the stall over here. Then I’m going to grab your bag and get you changed into something clean and comfortable. After that we’re going to get your brother and head home. Sound good?” She asked only to get a nod and a small smile from Y/N.

“Okay let’s get you set up then.” Taking his hand in hers, she led him over the the big stall in the bathroom. Inside was your standard public bathroom only this time with a changing table made especially for Littles.

“There,” she smiled. “Now, I’m going to grab your bag from my office. Keep the door locked okay?” That got another small nod from Y/N. With a small kiss to his head she left the stall, hearing a small click of the lock on the way out.

~~~

After JJ left the bathroom I felt uncomfortable again. She just made everything so safe and comfortable. Now without her here everything felt overwhelming, scary again.

But she wouldn’t be long. She just went to grab my bag and then we would go home. I couldn’t wait to be home again, laying on the couch with my favorite stuffie on one side and JJ on the other.

But my beautiful daydream was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the bathroom. Despite my stall door being closed, I backed myself far away from the door, my back hitting the wall.

This was a restroom, it would be ignorant of me to think no one else would use it. But I want to just be alone with JJ. Now with strangers walking into the space I felt more exposed and scared.

But the person who walked in stayed by the sinks. They didn’t walk into a stall or wash their hands. Before I had a moment to really question it further, the man spoke up.

“Hey kiddo it’s just Uncle Derek. Your mom just sent me in here to stop anyone from coming in. You doing alright in there?”

A wave of relief washed over me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and wiped a few stray tears.

“M’ doing okay.” I managed to say.

“That’s good to hear. You just let me know if you need anything okay?”

I nodded my head. But then I realized he couldn’t see it so I added a quick: “okay.”

Uncle Derek was a life saver! Not once but twice people tried to enter the bathroom but he redirected them away. I’m couldn’t have been more happy to have him there to protect me.

After what felt like years but was only really 15 minutes JJ returned and relieved Morgan of his guard duties. He knocked on the door before leaving.

“See you when you get out kiddo.” He added before leaving the bathroom to JJ and I once more.

I heard the main door to the bathroom lock before JJ knocked on the stall door. I quickly ran over and opened it to her only to see my favorite stuffie in her arms!

“I’m sorry I took so long. I thought your bag was in my office but it turns out it was in my car. But guess who was also in there waiting for you?”

I immediately grabbed the stuffie and brought him close. Between him and JJ being back, everything started to feel calm again.

“Alright baby boy, let’s get you all sorted out.”

JJ opened the changing table, quickly cleaned and placed a cover on. Then she went over to me and helped me and my stuffie up onto it.

With that she started to get to work, taking my shoes off, then my pants and underwear. Then she helped clean up and before I knew it she was sliding a fresh pull-up on me followed by my emergency set of pants.

“There you go,” she said rubbing my belly. “All fresh and clean.”

Suddenly a sad thought came across my head. “Mommy, I can’t wear a pull-up.”

“Why not? You’re too young not to wear one.” She pointed out, making me feeling smaller.

“No, it’s just that…it’s going to have blood on it.”

JJ sighed. She sat me up and held my hand in mine. “I want you to listen to me for a second Y/N. I don’t mind taking care of you whether you’re on or off your period. That changes nothing about the fact you’re my little boy. Do you understand? I still love you the same and I will never see you different. You are and will forever be my baby boy.”

More tears found their way to my eye as she pulled me into a hug once more. I felt so much better now that I was changed, but even more so now that I felt accepted. No matter what anyone said or what my body said, I’m her little boy. Forever.

“Now,” she said breaking apart. “We gotta go catch up with your brother. He’s very worried about you. I’d say he’s so worried he might let you chose the movie we watch tonight.” JJ winked.

“Really?!” I said shocked. Tonight was his movie night choice. But he was gonna let me chose?!

“Really! And if we’re really lucky we might be able to convince Uncle Derek and Aunt Penelope to stay and watch it with us.” JJ added as she helped me down.

Hand in hand the two of us walked out of that bathroom. Once out we went to Aunt Penelope’s office and met up with Spencer again.

He stood up and ran over to me “Y/n! Are you okay? I’ve been so worried!” He wrapped me in a tight hug.

I smiled against his shoulder, “I’m okay Spence.”

“While you were gone I thought of the coolest game we can play when we get home!” Spencer added excitedly once we broke apart.

“I can’t wait!” I smiled back.

“Come on boys, it’s time to go home.” JJ said after talking to Garcia.

Spencer took one hand and JJ took the other as we left the BAU. My little family always knew how to make me feel appreciated and accepted. Caregiver and Little boy. Forever and always.

[evilwickedme]

Hey, I know it's a Jewish tradition to name kids after a deceased loved one to honor them, but in your opinion would a trans person naming themself after the loved one have the same effect? Not asking you to speak for all Jewish people of course, but I'm not Jewish myself and I'd love to hear your opinion on the dimension it adds to the headanon that Peter Parker is trans and picked Benjamin as a middle name for Uncle Ben

so I'd like to clarify that the a. this tradition is pretty much exclusively ashkenazi (which I am my middle name was chosen to honor three different relatives) b. it's not that it isn't meant to honor our family members, it's just that also the reason we only name our children after dead people is it was believed that if you named your child after a living person when it was the older person's time to die the angel of death might get confused and take the kid instead (which is why when my older brother was named yoseph my uncle joe asked "do you want me dead??" which is very funny but he was actually named after a different relative ofc)

anyway I don't know how I feel about peter naming himself after uncle ben so let's figure it out together lmao. peter isn't a very jewish name so it's nice for him to also have a typical jewish middle name (I feel like most jew know a ben, benjamin, binyamin, benny, etc). but also if you're going to hc peter as a trans man, he'd probably be trans already by the time ben dies, right? like it's a whole other tragedy if peter named himself after ben and then ben died like, holy shit the jewish guilt he'd get from that. did he kill his uncle by trying to honor him? or possibly he could choose that middle name after uncle ben dies, choosing to carry him with him everywhere he goes...

you know what I def like this idea. like it works for angst either way and is a really sweet character choice. so yeah this jew approves

[thatstheproblemwithnapkinman]

i want to preface this with a few things

dick grayson is my favourite character. i am not here to slander him or talk bad about those who like him

fanon is what got me into dc. i have grown since and now have a substantial comic collection (at least for the few months i've been collecting). i still enjoy fanon but i am a canon person

with all of that said...

a pointless rant about dick grayson in fanon

sources listed at the bottom

this discourse surrounding dc, the batfam in particular, has really been irking my lately. i don't know why, it just has. i see so much around these characters and the way fans interact with each other here on hellsite and on tiktok (i avoid twitter like middle-aged cis white british dads avoid talking about their feelings) and i just wanna scream about it

the erasure of dick grayson's character

dick grayson isn't a himbo

this is particularly common in fanfictions given that the barrier of entry is non-existent but the idea that dick is a silly, ditzy, idiot that can't cook is arguably the complete opposite of his character

i have a feeling this idea stems from the nature of dick as nightwing, the cracking jokes whilst fighting, the appearance of not taking things seriously (when he in fact does, just not as outwardly as the likes of batman). this in and of itself is ridiculous given that a similar character, peter parker aka spider-man, also crack jokes and honestly is very similar to dick in the way he is as a hero, and yet, for the most part, is still taken seriously and isn't diminished to the same level that dick is

which could come down to public knowledge of the character

let's be honest, the majority of the public could tell you who peter parker is, have probably seen at least one live action iteration of the character, if not all 3 iconic versions (maguire, garfield, holland) most (and please forgive me for using generations) millenials and gen z can define their teen years based on which spider-man was coming out. which they went to the cinema to see. all live-action appearances are:

the amazing spider-man ('77-'79) played by nicholas hammond

spider-man (also japanese spider-man) ('78-'79) played by Shinji Tōdō

spider-man (1, 2, 3)('02, '04, '07) played by tobey maguire

the amazing spider-man (1, 2)('12, '14) played by andrew garfield

spider-man (homecoming, far from home, no way home)('17, '19, '21) played by tom holland

given that dick has just as many live action appearances, stretching back to before spider-man had even debuted in the comics:

the batman serial ('43) played by douglas croft

the batman and robin serial ('49) played by jonny duncan

batman ('66-'68) played by burt ward

batman forever ('95) and Batman & Robin ('97) played by chris o'donnell

titans ('18-'23) played by brenton thwaites

EDIT: in my excitement i never included the first comic appearances of either character. dick debuted on the 6th march 1940 in detective comics #38, peter debuted on 5th june 1962 in amazing fantasy #15

(i am not talking about animated appearances as for both peter and dick they are much less known to the general public than live action)

i'd say i was surprised to see the same number of appearances, but by comparing when the show/movie came out, you can see a clear difference

every live action spider-man project listed has occurred within the past 50 years, with the movies being in relatively consistent from 2002 onwards. dick grayson is more sporadic, 2 appearances in the 40s, again in the 60s, again in the 90s, and finally in the late 10s. no wonder he's less well known when you have to go back to the 90s for a movie version and even then it isn't really dick grayson (in terms of characterisation)

most people can tell you there's batman and robin, and maybe just maybe they can tell you robin is dick grayson, but that's about it. mention nightwing and they blank. and don't even try to tell someone that there's been more that one robin, it won't end well

i can hear people yelling "but dick is a sidekick and peter isn't"

yes, that is true, but dick hasn't been a sidekick since the early 80s, after he'd been around for over 4 decades. that's a pretty old sidekick. but yes, this does hold some merit but given that dick is a lot older it's interesting. and with the most recent live action appearance being titans, a show that spends the first 2 seasons exploring dick's journey from sidekick to standalone hero, it does pose some questions

that was a long tangent to basically say that an equivalent character in personality isn't erased so much in fanfiction because they have more recent and bigger exposure (probably)

also, random, but in my research i came across this list of best teen heroes and look

fig 1. image showing spider-man and dick grayson in positions 1 and 2 relatively in a fan voted list of best teen heroes, spider-man having 3446 votes and dick grayson having 3191 votes

anyway, back to the rant

a wayne family adventures (WFA) tangent

i see people blaming WFA for this but i really don't think that is the case. he may not be the same as his comic counterpart but he is not out of character. everything he does is still very much him. examples include:

comforting duke after ana broke up with him (ep. 10)

helping damian make a friend (ep. 24)

being torn between his brothers (ep. 27-28)

teasing bruce after zatanna made him superman (ep. 54)

teasing helena into swapping weapons (ep. 63) i just like this one

organising everyone back to the manor when he realised alfred was left on his own during thanksgiving (ep. 68)

picking the rainbow suit for bruce (ep. 77)

talking to a little girl who just lost her parents (ep. 80-81)

annoying wally (ep. 84) birdflash time

helping duke with the kidnapping threat (ep. 99) also like this one

competing with jason over lian and roy (ep. 108)

making tim do all the work in his apartment (ep. 111) + haley

comforting and helping damian when he doubts himself (ep. 113) arguably my favourite episode

ok that was most of them BUT seriously WFA is not the problem here

there's no "fix" for this, i just wanted to tell people to stop blaming WFA for everything wrong with new comic fans; you can enjoy WFA and enjoy the comics, the aren't mutually exclusive

WFA doesn't erase him, they just choose what to show in the limited time you get with him. the only thing i remember being "wrong" is that dick can't cook (ep. 17 - top chef)

and yeah, WFA does play into the golden retriever vibes fanon dick has... in one episode, specifically the haley episode (ep. 111) see below. if it takes 111 episodes to fall on a fanon trope, i think that is fine. if you want to include ep. 17, that's 2 episodes out of 116! that's pretty good going. even the comics have more ooc moments (see the current nightwing run)

fig. 2 screenshot from wayne family adventures showing dick grayson smiling and saying "thank you" whilst a tail wags in the background

fanfiction

unsurprisingly, fanfiction is probably to blame but don't think i'm blaming authors (i kinda am but stick with me here)

i don't think writing a comic canon charatcer should be required, but i do think writers should disclose when they haven't read the comics. from experience, i get not annoyed, but have a "ugh" moment when i read a fic and the character is ooc, but if the author has stated in the notes that they haven't read a comic and the character is probably ooc, i am still going to read the fic

ooc or not, if a fic has a decent plot, at least 6th grade (UK year 7) level writing, and not "want to punch them in the face" characters, i'll enjoy it. throw in a popular trope and it'll be a favourite

and if you tell people "hey, this is probably ooc from the comic canon" they can't get mad or blame authors... just saying

i mean the whole reason this is "the problem" is that people get mad over ooc in fan works. like i'm sorry, have you read gotham war?!?!? the current nightwing run?!?!? lots of ooc in the comics themselves

tl;dr

fanfiction is the root of all evil

no, but seriously, dick's, mis-characterisation is a product of his prevalence in media, the material people have, and a lack of disclaiming ooc in fanfics. the last point could be a solution, but honestly expecting fanfic authors to do that is ridiculous

this rant was for nothing, hope you enjoyed wasting your time

i did tell you it was pointless

(i should've called this section a conclusion bc the word count is 1559 and that is insane. it's literally longer than the essay i have due in next week that i'm only half way through)

(also, this was supposed to be the first part of a longer post about how dick is over-sexualised but at that word count i'm splitting it up)

sources

list of live action dick grayson

list of live action spider-man actors

used for dates of spider-man films in the correct order

wayne family adventures

[zpiderwebs]

| That's great. | part I

"It's so depressing how the tear ducts in my eyes are so much wetter than the space between my thighs."

----

Peter b x fem! Reader

(Angst, fluff, tiny bit of smut! [Just a few details] 1st person POV)

----

Note: I rebranded and I'm starting off as a new account and under a new name :] pls read my linktree! :)

"Damn, you're really still waiting for that reply?"

"Of course I am. I just..God I don't even know anymore. It just feels like I need her more and more the more I think of her."

Ugh.. there it was again. That jealous feeling in my stomach.

"Well, if you're just going to be a sad bumb, then what the hell am I doing here? Just keeping you company while you cry your eyes out for her? Cmon Peter, it's been seven months. Don't you think it's time to back down?" I shrugged, setting my takeout container down as I crossed my arms.

I knew i shouldn't be acting like such a dick to him, especially when he badly needed the help. But seriously, it's been months since he divorced MJ! Why can't he just see she probably moved on? Why can't he see that I'm clearly here for him and he should also move on?

"Cmon Pete, just..give it up. It's for the best, right? You shouldn't be beating yourself so much over one woman. You know, there's other women who find you attractive too, not just MJ." I murmured, trying to hint him in a way. I wasn't sure how he'd feel. Hopefully, he wasn't as slow to figure this out.

"Mm. Maybe," Peter murmured, sighing as he set his phone down.

"Mm?"

"Maybe your right. I should try to..move on."

"That's great! See? It's not that hard, that's a great first step, pete."

Well shit, maybe I might get an actual chance-

"But I'm still not sure. I went through a lot with her, you know?"

Fuck. Nevermind.

"Well, no, not really. I wasn't the one married and going through everything with you." I huffed out, leaning back on the couch.

I wish I was. I wouldn't have divorced you over anything small. I would've loved you forever.

"You're right. You'd make a good wife, tho. You're very open-minded and understanding. I like that about you." Peter murmured, a small smile on his thin lips, his eyes crinkled. They were tired, but god, how good he made them look.

"Oh well..thank you. I appreciate your words. But hey, we still need to focus on helping you move on. Right?" I cooed. It was getting hard to keep up my non flustered face.

"Yeah, your right." Peter let out a chuckle. Sighing, he leaned back on the couch, placing a hand on my knee.

Please, keep it there.

"Hey,"

"Hm?"

"If your so eager on helping me move on why dont you.." his voice trailed off a bit.

"Why don't I..?"

"Hm.."

"Cmon, spit it out parker."

He let out a gentle sigh, his hand squeezing my knee a bit.

Fuck. Is he going to..

"Why don't you and I give it a try?"

Silence. Felt like the air was just punched out of me.

"..Huh?"

"Yeah. I mean..you and I have been very close and you've always been there for when I needed you. Maybe there's more that we haven't dug up."

"O-oh..maybe."

Is he being serious or is he just messing with me?

"So..what do you say? Should we give it a try?" Peter then turned to look at me with those same tired brown eyes.

God. He doesn't know how long I've been waiting for him to say these words.

"I'd love that."

"Me too."

Peter began to slowly lean in, brushing my hair behind my ear.

Fuckfuckfuck

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to do it first. And then I felt his thin lips on mine.

God..

My lips moved against his, my hands not knowing where to go. They simply rested on his knees. He softly groaned against my lips. I felt so weak. I never wanted this to end.

Sadly, it had to end since old man lungs who have smoked for a while now couldn't handle not containing oxygen for a long time.

"You really gotta cut out the cigarettes for now."

Peter chuckled. "Okay, fine. I'll do it if it means I get to kiss you longer."

I softly chuckle, flicking his nose. "Alright, don't be so cheesy now."

And we went back to kissing.

First couple of weeks went to months. They were good. Nothing too serious yet just..simple kisses, hand holding, hugging for long periods of time. I enjoyed it. Then..it began to get more serious.

He wanted me to move in with him, stay longer, and I wanted to, but I wasn't sure yet. He said it was okay. He began to..express more dreams and..a possible future together.

When he said those words of wanting to own a place just for the two of us, my heart soared. How did MJ let such an amazing chance like him go away? She could've just been more patient with him. How lucky am I?

"And, we could also have a balcony. Somewhere to sit outside and just feel the breeze." Peter murmured, holding my hand tightly in his as we laid there on his simple mattress that had grease stains, and the springs in it were very creaky with the simplest movements.

"Hm..that's great. I'd like that. Even tho, New York summers are brutal."

"We'll even get a little kiddie pool and just chill out there, huh? Maybe add in a few beers?"

I chuckled, squeezing his hand tighter. "I'd love that. If it's with you, of course."

Peter smiled, leaning into my neck and softly sighing, taking in my scent. I closed my eyes for a brief moment. Suddenly, I felt hot breathing against my neck and his lips grazing against my skin.

"Peter..?"

"Sorry I just..can't help myself. You smell so nice." Peter whispered, placing hot kisses on my neck. My body shivered and I felt goosebumps. My cheeks felt so warm

"Peter.." I softly murmured out.

"Please, just..one little bite."

"God..please do."

Then, his teeth gentle sunk into my flesh. Something definitely turned on inside of me that made me gasp out. He then moved away, sitting up. The mattress creaked again, annoyingly loud as he climbed on top of me, his hands on both sides of my head.

I met his eyes. They were saying the same thing I was thinking of. I watched his neck as he gulped. He was nervous.

"I need you."

His words sent a shiver down my spine. It felt so good to hear those words.

My hands tightened around the blanket underneath us.

"I need you too."

Slowly, we kissed, taking our time. One by one our clothes was off. I softly moaned as i felt his lips against my skin. I was on fire.

"Peter.." I gasped out. I couldn't say anything else but his name.

"Shh.." He softly whispered into my ear.

We took our time to get into it, and when he was finally inside, I was completely taken out of it, only focusing on the moment. The way he felt sliding in and out. The way he whined into my ear, saying how much he loved me and how good I was doing. I couldn't even form words. We fit so perfectly together.

I completely drowned out the loud annoying creaks of the old damn mattress because all I could hear was his pants and whines in my ear along with the sounds of his hands gently combing through my hair as he moved. My legs tightly around his waist. I never wanted this to end...

Well. That's what I wanted. Until..where Peter and I were just getting so serious, he dropped a bomb on me.

"She responded back..!" Peter called out as he looked at his phone. The message from MJ right in front of our eyes.

There it was again, that jealousy feeling in my stomach but now in my mouth.

"Oh..thats..great." I murmured, I gently laid down on the mattress as I watched him. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"Yeah, just a minute."

Just a minute? What..?! We're literally together, and he's really going to respond to his ex-wife after she ghosted him for months!?

"Peter, seriously?"

"Seriously what? Cmon, I'm just.." His voice trailed off a bit.

I looked at him before I scoffed and laid back down, closing my eyes. Why did I want to cry? Was I being selfish?

What happened to all those damn dreams? Our own place? The fucking kiddie pool and beers out on the balcony? This shit was too good to be true.

And it was sort of a surprise when a few days later I woke up to a text from Peter. He wasn't even in his apartment.

"What the fuck..?" I murmured, sitting up and rubbing my eyes awake. I read the message.

Fuck. The air was punched out of my lungs.