#i am however v curious as to what this actually is

[cephiius]

is there... a japanese yaoi game about noli me tangere ... ?

as a filipino who loves jose rizals works and respects him, but also a person who casually likes shounen ai ... i am EXTREMELY conflicted of the existence of this

[toxycodone]

Laios x Beastkin!Reader

an. Senshi, Chilchuck, and Marcille x Reader are mentioned quiiiite a bit in here. Izutsumi x reader is more sparse. split between furry/scaly/feathery beastkin after the more general ones in the beginning. SORRY if the formatting is weird I got "text limited" a lot on this lmfao

this is a lot so. <3 show sum luv

general sfw

when you two first meet...bro is ELATED. He knows Izutsumi, which is fine, but you're an entirely different one. Who also doesn't seem to be super against him getting to know them

He asks SO many questions. What are you mixed with? Are you naturally born or artificial? What's it like having wings? A tail?

He's testing out all your features. He loves them so much.

When there's downtime, he likes to conduct "research". This goes for analyzing your features and making notes, comparing them to his books and other notes, and even more intricate tests like reaction time and stuff.

He'll hold a candle/torch by your face and test your pupil dilation. It's oddly intimate because he's just staring you down and its like. okay. are we gonna kiss orrrr

Loves. Loves. Loves just WATCHING you. Seeing the way you pounce on little bugs for fun or get spooked by certain noises. He just smiles and is all amused.

You'll catch him doodling you pretty often. He makes notes like "y/n caught a treasure bug today. They seem pretty skilled at hunting. Failed to kill it for some reason...just played with it until it scurried off." The doodles are like...surprisingly pretty decent. The monster portions of you are the best looking and most detailed. But it's so cool to see just how much he pays attention to you and your idiosyncrasies.

Your interactions with Izutsumi also interest him. Do you guys get along? Are you prey to her? Or is she to you? If you and Izu are talking or around each other he's watching like a hawk out of pure curiosity.

However...there's a particular page in his journal where he's providing feedback on how he would make you "better" aka cooler. It's basically just his own ramblings. No Laios, an extra set of eyes and the ability to breath fire and ice and everything in between is not. better. you're just salivating over the idea of your monster OC

If you bring this up to him he actually agrees. After a lot of note taking and observation he's really fascinated just on how well suited your entire existence is to...surviving. He has a lot of theories he'd love to share about you.

But he has e x t e n s i v e notes on your body. It's something that fr makes you blush because, why is he theorizing about the base of your tail and how it connects to your spine? and the number of nipples you have? wait...how is his guess right...?

But Laios is so useful. You might as well call him your owner. You don't have to lift a finger when it comes to taking care of yourself. (He misses his dogs so you fill in.)

He takes care of your skin/fur/scales/feathers, cuts your claws, helps you file down your hooves or horns. He's very into taking care of you if you'll let him. (Marcille also hops in on this since its her love language LOL. When she's not busy with Izutsumi she helps when she can.)

If you are like...afraid of water or don't enjoy bathing. You are like the party's pet. They're debating on how to get you clean before Chilchuck is like "if you don't take a bath I am going to kill you and throw you in there myself." Laios then goes all puppy dog eyed bc he thinks Chil is being to hard on you and then he sighs and is like "fine. I'll buy you a treat when we get back to the surface."

Marcille/Laios are really good when it comes to bath time. They aren't weird about it (Laios is checking you out but. In a curious type of way. Marcille is giving him side eye if hes getting too...Laiosy. But he respects your boundaries. Just imagine Laios happily scrubbing you while humming a tune awe.)

And when it comes to sleeping arrangements...you can alternate between anyone in the party. But Laios and Chilchuck are your best bets. Marcille is an excellent sleeping partner if the dreams don't bother you, shes soo happy to have you sleep with her and she's soft and smells nice.

Laios happily lets you sleep with him. He's actually not super cuddly (unless you are he'll reciprocate). But he is very much like, giving you a ton of space. If you fall asleep before him he just relents and sleeps as comfortably as he can around you lol. Literally just like any other pet owner.

Chilchuck....sleeping with him is difficult bc Izutsumi will fight you on it, but she relents if you can fit in without much issue (bonus points if you're warm) so. You guys can both overheat this poor man. Izu may even start cuddling with you more. She finds a lot of comfort in having another beastkin in the party even though she won't say it.

And speaking of Chilchuck...you're likely a bit more cooperative than Izutsumi, so he gets your help when it comes to checking for traps and finding treasure. With your elite hearing and other abilities, he's actually really pleasantly surprised how useful you are. (If you were a half-foot he'd definitely want you in his guild). He gives you pets and treats when the others aren't really paying attention (He doesn't want them to see him doting on you is all LOL).

Okay. So. Your diet. This is an anime about eating so. Let's get down to it.

Whether you're a herbivore, carnivore, or omnivore--Laios is ENSURING your needs are taken care of in the party. It is of upmost importance to him.

He takes notes and asks about how certain foods make you feel. Are you more energized? Less energized? Stomach hurting? Pooping well? (Will ask this with upmost sincerity, he wants to make sure the butter/milk/etc used in their cooking isn't interfering with your tummy. Whether you want to answer this is up to you lol).

Laios and Senshi happily adjust things to your needs. Laios will spend time foraging with you, Senshi will find certain monsters with more nutrients that meet your needs. Senshi is also like, really knowledgeable about nutrients, so sometimes in your food he may grind up shells or bones to meet calcium needs and such. When he cooks he'll give you bones or soften them up in water so you can eat the marrow. :-)

Senshi...is the coolest though. He also lets you perch on him (like Izutsumi) and since he's lived in the dungeon for so long, he knows a lot about monsters firsthand. If it applies, he'll give you tips about yourself or some monsters you should prey on. Senshi and you go on little foraging trips too. He'll have you sniff things out in return for extra food during dinner.

Laios likes to see you hunt prey and eat it raw, though. Everyone else would rather not and it makes them sick but he thinks it is SO cool. He honestly wishes he could do that. He takes hunting lessons from you and will give you tips on being stealthier and such.

Your teeth really fascinate him. He likes testing your bite strength on different types of material (Like wood, stone, bones, etc.). He'll stick his fingers in your mouth and admire them if youd let him. He gives you so much praise in general its so cute.

AND. PETTING YOU. He is so tactile if you let him (i mean look how much he tries and fails to pet izutsumi). When you give him the all clear he is like. jumping for joy. he LOVES to pet you and praise you. He absentmindedly pets you when hes sitting down or standing by you. And when you nuzzle into his touch his heart SOARS. You can see on his face he's blushing and has that like. excited wiggly smile <3

I think when he's just sitting around he just messes with your tail. He likes it.

Lay down beside him and he will happily pet you and be like "do you like this? Is this a good spot?" Present. Your belly to him. and he is over the moon. He pets you wildly and is like "Who's a good boy/girl/monster?" He is so unashamed about doing this too. Chilchuck would put a stop to it if you didn't like it so much.

If you give him kisses or tongue bath's he's eating that shit up (i mean. look at those extra comics w him and dogs he lets dogs just kiss all over his face omfg). He isn't a huge fan of getting his hair wet (sensory issue) but when it's your drool...he can't help but be excited. Laios is all like "they're grooming me?? this means they like me, right??? Can I officially say I befriended a monster???"

It's proof that you care for him and view him as apart of your pack...he is just over the moon at this.

I will say...Laios is way too "has no backbone with you" for a while. You're chewing shoes? You can't help it! Stealing snacks? It's instinctual! Playing too rough with Izutsumi? C'mon guys...

But when he notices his party actually getting upset. You will be surprised how he can put his foot down. Not even max puppy eyes work on him. He will leash and muzzle you if needed.

But you can always get away with messing with his stuff. He thinks its fun to chase you around when you got his shirt in his maw. Then he happily wears the torn up gear and Marcille is like "let me sew it..."

For Scaly Beastkin:

He's so helpful when it comes to shedding season. Laios finds nice rocks all the time and helps scrape off any patches that are drying and crusting and hes not even phased and doesn't think its gross at all. He would keep some skin to test its resilience if you let him.

And going with that, when you need to shed and soak he would help you find a place and will happily assist with the shedding. He's so excited to be there honestly. But he feels bad you are uncomfortable so he lets you cuddle up under the water with him while you wait for your shed to soften up <3

Laios runs his fingers over your scales absentmindedly...just loves feeling how smooth they are, especially after he spent so much time helping them maintain that pristine smoothness.

He gets Marcille's help to make a moisturizing ointment to put on you every now and then so you don't get to dried out in the dungeon!! Marcille starts to fret about that too. You're just kinda chillin and she'll reach over and put ointment on your hands/cheeks/tail. Just areas you may be susceptible to drying out.

Also...he lets you use him as a heating rock. Sunshine is really limited in the dungeon, so...when you need a warm up he's there and waiting and extremely excited to warm you up with a hug.

For Furry Beastkin:

Brushes you. He'd do this EVERY evening (and morning) if you let him. He takes notes, too. Do you have an undercoat? Or is it just one? What does this mean about what environment you originated from?

He probably tries to use your shed fur to embellish his own clothes or put in his pillow/blankets. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle I guess?

And to add to that...remember how Marcille made a cute little cat head from Izutsumi's fur? He does that too. He and Marcille make cute little shapes outta your shed and giggle together about it.

If you get fleas...he is the party member you should tell. He'll help you get rid of them and won't rat you out to the other members LOL. He'd probably blame himself if it spread and the rest of the party is like "you expect us to beleive. you got fleas. Laios you would be excited if you got them."

For Feathered Beastkin:

Preening....<3. When you have pin feathers he is so sweet and gentle. gently picks them out. It kinda tickles bc he's just gliding his fingers over your wings. You'll catch him sighing in content and burying his face in the softness. It's so sweet.

He collects your feathers and shows them off to Marcille (who also really likes them.) Your down is SO useful too. The party has the softest blankets and pillows thanks to you. When you're molting everyone is calling dibs on the feathers to stuff in their bedding.

Laios examines your wingspan and is really interested on stuff like weather you can fly or not. If you can, he's in awe. He wants to see it. Maybe even fly with you if he can. Its always been a dream of his to do that.

nsfw

tw (for nsfw). monsterfucking? if that counts. mentions of vent/cloaca/knot

This man. It is so easy to tell overtime just how fucking horny he gets over monster stuff. He is addicted to just how much you differ from him. Your scales, fur, feathers, wings, etc....he thinks they're all extremely sexy.

He just loves the primal aspect of it? Like you act on instinct. Do what makes you happy. Like of course you have human reasoning and such but STILL. You're so non human and otherworldly it makes his stomach knot up and his dick hard as a rock. He wants to know EVERYTHING about you.

If you have a heat/rut cycle...he is. fucking. begging you come to him for help. jfc you don't even have to let him stick his dick in you. He just slowly probes your hole with his fingers and legit GASPS when he feels it clench around him. Not only is he learning so much about you and monster anatomy but hes also having his monster fucking dreams come true.

I mean it is a given with Laios but his fucking face is always in your hole. He loves eating pussy/ass so fucking much. And having your dick, clit, or knot down his throat drives him wild. He eats your slick and cum like he's starving. He's so sloppy with it too--there's spit and slick and cum all over his face and he's just slurping it all up like its his last meal.

He definitely "examines" you. He'll stick his fingers in you and stretch out your hole just to get a better look at what's inside. (imagine his thumbs sliding in and prying you open.) The muscles pulsating and the color and the smell...god he's drooling. You feel all vulnerable and exposed but he's just constantly praising how amazing your body and its functions are.

He busts so quick with a beastkin it....wow. Like. You are seriously all he has ever dreamed of and shit. I can't imagine he'd be able to contain himself. He cums and just still wants more, he fucks you through the overstimulation until he cries

Oh he wants to know whats in your pants so bad its ridiculous. Like. I cannot explain just how much he is vibrating with excitement

If you have a cloaca...he's very gentle with your hole at first. You explain to him what to look for, what feels good. He'll gently explore with his fingers until he finds the right hole and then he's going at it. He's shoving his tongue in there happily too. He knows what a cloaca is. He knows it's a singular vent for waste and sexual functions. Doesn't matter. His tongue is going in there. Laios is beyond excited to taste everything and see what makes you squirm.

If you have a knot...it's a given he wants you to knot him. It takes him a few tries (he can't take your knot at first because he's too tight) but when he finally is able to its like. euphoric for him. He loves feeling your warm cum in his ass and your desperate pants against his throat as your overstimulated self gets adjusted to being stuck to him. Gods.

Plus...I've discussed this on my blog in more detail but with a beastkin reader he's definitely into

You biting/scratching him up. He lovvveess being marked. Use him as a chew toy PLEASE

Predator/Prey rp: He's a trained hunter but he wouldn't mind being hunted...He loves how strong you are and how you can turn the tables on him if you wanted.

Just?? You being feral?? He likes it when you act more like your monster side and just treat him like a toy.

Breeding Kink: Even if you aren't able to get pregnant or breed (either due to sex or incompatible genetics due to being part monster), he's still really into it. You can fill him up vice versa...He loves the feeling of having you last inside him and he loves knowing you're still filled up from him. Plus, it adds to the more animalistic part of sex which is what he likes

[inkskinned]

we really didn't get violent enough about roe v wade being overturned. but and also - you're one person. you donated money. you went to the protest. you did what you could, which felt like doing basically nothing.

recently some big paper published an op ed (why did you even read it? you knew you'd get upset) about how it's gross that men can't find a partner because women don't want to suffer bad dates - they'd rather go to yoga class. you actually laughed - well, yeah! and it was funny until it wasn't, because something about it made your stomach churn. this is the thing, you want to say, but you don't have the words for what the thing is. just that men being bad at dating is your fault.

the thing is also on instagram. you don't know if it's a setting or algorithm thing, but these days, the most hurtful comments always seem to skim the top. simple reaction is don't read the comments but - you're human, so you're curious. you want to respond to every weird, sanctimonious one with replaying something a million times to find evidence they're lying about their gender is literally sexual harassment you shouldn't be proud of this or maybe get a fucking life you absolute dickhead but you've gotten into enough of these battles as a kid. nothing ever resolves. it just makes you upset.

your father was radicalized. the thing is - you go to therapy about it and yet never find the words for exactly the way that one hurts.

the other day your sister predicted that a commercial that aired during the superbowl was going to cause trouble. you wanted her to be wrong about that. this morning, while scrolling, you saw someone post exactly that - he got so angry i had to leave. it was terrifying. it reminds you, however bleakly: there are entire swathes of people who do not worry about domestic violence. who have no idea why you would put keys into your fist. who do not understand "it's better to be rude than dead." who have never googled am i being gaslit.

the other day you found out there's a bill that would make it so if you have a uterus and are braindead, you could fulfil your cattle purpose and carry a fetus to term. you think about the fact that the leading cause of death for pregnant people is murder. you think about ongoing and informed consent. you think about how, out of fear, if your ex boyfriend had pressured you, you absolutely would have said yes to it. in the comments, you write there is no way that these documents wouldn't be immediately forged. this is going to be misused. and then just delete it, sighing. get up and go to work.

the other day they overturned roe v wade. we weren't nearly violent enough about it. somewhere, a clock is ticking. it's been ticking a long time. you want to say it's time, but it's been time for a while, hasn't it.

[and-claudia]

Yours pt. 2 (Paddy x reader) (Speak No Evil)

Okay for now I'm just calling this miniseries Yours until I find a title I actually like.

Warnings: Paddy (he is a warning himself), manipulation, age gap, mentions of death, controlling relatives, lies, lots of lies, mentions of p in v sex, morning after pill, you think Paddy is being sweet but its mostly all manipulating

This story will get dark. this is your warning, this part isn't really that dark

Word Count: 3200+

Taglist (Read the rules, follow them or I will remove your response)

I woke up at some point, feeling something on the inside of my leg. When my eyes slowly opened, the room was mostly dark with just a soft glow coming from the bathroom door that was half open.

“Sorry, darling. Didn’t mean to wake you. Just wanted to get you at least semi-cleaned up.” He said from where he was sitting beside me, gently wiping away the evidence of our time together earlier in the night. 

He had put on a pair of sweats, but I was still lying on top of the sheets, completely naked. A small shiver ran down my back, causing me to wrap my arms around myself. 

“Here, put this on.” He said, handing me what I could only assume was one of his shirts. 

“Thanks.” I said, sitting up as he finished wiping off part of my leg. 

I put the shirt on, relishing in how it smelt like him, before looking over at him, “What time is it?” 

“Early. You can go back to sleep.” He said. 

I nodded, “Imma go to the bathroom first.” I said, turning to get up off the bed. 

“Ciria’s makeup wipes are in there if you need some.” He said as I walked off, and I gave him a nod. 

I went and did my business. Honestly I was surprised and quite frankly curious as to how he had managed to clean me up so well without me waking up sooner, considering how much of a mess there was between my legs when I fell asleep. However, I was too tired to question it too much. Once I was done, I washed my hands and found the makeup wipes he had mentioned. I quickly wiped off whatever wake was left on my face from both sweating at the club and jumping into the pool. 

When I came back out, Paddy had moved from his spot on the bed to the chair in the corner. 

“There’s something on the side table for you.” He said, nodding to the one closer to me. 

On it sat a water bottle and a box of Plan B. 

“I know you said you were on birth control, but better to be safe than sorry.” He said. 

I nodded and grabbed the box, “No, I agree, thanks.” I said before taking it. 

The sheets had been pulled back, clearly indicating that he was okay with me sleeping under them rather than on top like I had been earlier. However, he wasn’t making any moves to join me. 

“Are you coming back to bed?” I asked. 

“I wasn’t sure if that would be okay with you… I didn’t want to cross any boundaries.” He said with what I would’ve sworn was a nervous laugh, but Paddy didn’t seem like the type of man to ever get nervous, especially in the bedroom. 

“Paddy, I am pretty fucking sure you bruised my cervix last night… I don’t think we have boundaries…” I said. 

He laughed a little at my comment but still stood from his chair and came to join me on the other side of the bed. Once he was settled in, I scooted over to him and looked up at him from where my head was resting on his chest. 

“I meant what I said… if you truly want me, I’m yours, Paddy.” I said. 

He didn’t respond verbally. Instead, he just leaned down and kissed me gently. I responded immediately, returning the kiss before a yawn forced me to pull away. Paddy laughed to himself and smiled at me. 

“Get some rest, baby.” He said gently. 

We finally woke up a few hours later. Our families had plans for brunch at a cafe a few blocks away and we both needed to get up and get ready for that. Paddy got up and got dressed fairly quickly after deciding to lie to Ben and Louise, saying that I had gotten sick on my dress and needed a change of clothes to get dressed over here. 

3rd person PoV

Paddy walked through the halls of the hotel until he got to the room where Yn’s aunt and uncle were staying. He knocked twice, then waited. Louise opened the door and was shocked to find Paddy there. 

“Hi, Paddy… where’s Yn?” She asked, clearly worried for his niece. 

“Oh, you fret far too much over her, Louise. Don’t worry, she and Ciria are back in our room. I think she was getting in the shower when I stopped by.” Paddy said. 

“Stopped by?” Louise asked, confused as she leaned against the doorframe. 

“Yes, when we got back, it was quite late. We didn’t want to bother you, so I let her and Cira take our room. It was a king-sized bed and the two of them seemed to really be hitting it off and didn’t seem to mind having to share. I slept on the floor in the room we got Ant.” 

“He has his own room?” She asked. 

“Yes, it’s across the hall. Kinda hard to enjoy certain aspects of your vacation with your kid 5 feet away from you, if you know what I mean.” He said with a laugh as Louise smiled politely, but it was clear she was uncomfortable, “Anyways… I came by to check that our brunch plans were still a go?” 

Lousie looked back into the room to Ben, who just shrugged. 

“Yeah, we’re just about to get ready.” She said after turning back to Paddy.

“Perfect! I also came by to get Yn’s clothes… she got a little sick on her dress. And so she asked me to come by and get her clothes for her. She wrote down what she needed on here.” He said, handing the note to her. 

Lousie looked at it and was a little confused. It listed the sundress she wanted, her makeup bag, what she needed to do her makeup, the jewelry she wanted and where it was in her bag, and what shoes she wanted… but that was it. It lacked any undergarments of any kind. 

“O-okay. One second…” She said, pushing the door shut. 

“What’s that?” Ben asked, seeing the note in her hand. 

“The clothes Yn needs… she threw up on her dress or something, so she’s going to get ready with Ciria in their room, I guess.” She said, walking past him to get to Yn’s suitcase. 

She collected everything that was requested but hesitated, seeing her undergarment bag… maybe she had just forgotten to write it down. The dress she was asked for wasn’t form-fitting; it was nice and flowy, so she shouldn’t have to worry about lines if she wore underwear. After some debate, she grabbed the first pair from the bag, not wanting to invade her privacy, and folded it up into the dress. She put everything into a small bag and went back to the door to Paddy. 

“Here, that’s everything she asked for… I put a few things she didn’t ask for as well, like her uh- her daily medications, purse, toothbrush, that type of stuff…I just figured she forgot to write that down.” Louse said, handing it to him. 

“Thank you. I will let her know. And I will see you lot later!” He said before walking off. 

He got back to his room just as Yn was getting out of the shower. He knocked on the bathroom door and handed her the bag, which she thanked him for with a small kiss. 

He then went and grabbed some clothes for Ciria before walking across the hall to give them to her. 

“Can’t I come back over and get ready with you?” Ciria asked as he handed her the clothes. 

“No, Yn is still there. Get ready here, and get the kid ready, too. We have brunch with the Daltons.” He said. 

“Why is she still there?” She pressed, a pang of jealousy laced in her voice. 

Paddy didn’t reply. He just sent her a look that warned her to quit asking questions. 

“Sorry, I’ll go get ready.” She said, and he nodded once in approval. 

“Remember, all three of us went out last night, and you and Yn slept in the other room. You go along with anything I or Yn say. She believes we do this all the time, I told her that you wanted me to have the night with her. You go along with that. Got it?” He asked, making sure she went along with the string of lies he told Ben and Louise. 

“Yes, sir.” She said before closing the door to get ready.

Yn’s PoV 

Soon, everyone was ready, and we were waiting for my aunt, uncle, and cousin. To tell the truth, I was sad when Ciria and Ant joined us. It was nice pretending it was just Paddy and I, but I had to remind myself that he had a wife and kid, I was just his fun vacation side piece for now. Then, when I saw my family, it felt like even that was ripped away. 

“Everyone ready?” Ciria asked, holding onto Paddy’s arm, to say I wasn’t a little jealous would be a lie. 

“Yeah, I think so.” Louise said, and we all began walking to the restaurant. 

“So, did you have fun last night, Yn?” Ben asked while we sat down waiting for our food.

“Yeah.” I said with a shrug. 

“Still a bit tired, I bet. We had a pretty crazy night.” Paddy said, “Right girls?” 

“Yes. Oh Yn was so much fun to dance with! I wish you all didn’t live so far. I would kill for girls' nights with her… and of course you, Louise.” Ciria said, much to my surprise. 

“I would love that.” I said with a smile over at her. 

Paddy was sat between us. Since it was a round table, there was no real way to separate the two families, not that I was complaining. His knee kept grazing mine under the table, and I was trying not to let myself wonder if it was on purpose or accident. It wasn’t until he leaned forward to tell my uncle something and his hand landed on my leg that I knew it was on purpose. I watched him as he spoke, unable to keep the smile from my face. Until a name brought my attention to my uncle. 

“Me and my brother Brandon used to work together years and years ago.” Ben said. 

“18 years ago.” I corrected him. 

He sighed, “Yeah, 18 years ago…” 

“Oh, what happened? Did you have a falling out?” Paddy asked, seemingly unaware of the tension building between my uncle and me.

“He died.” I said bluntly, “He and his wife, my mother. I was only three. They were in the car, heading to Ben’s place to meet his new girlfriend. I was staying with my grandparents. A drunk driver hit them head-on.” I said, staring at the mimosa I had ordered. 

I picked it up and downed it in one go before excusing myself from the table. Ben never talked about him around me. I wasn’t sad. I was pissed. Everytime he talked about my dad it was a slap in the face that he had actually got to remember him and have memories of him, and I didn’t. And it was his fault. 

I had left the restaurant and went and sat on a bench a little ways down the road. Even though Paddy was there and I wanted to spend as much time with him before our paths parted but I had zero intentions on going back to that brunch. 

“Can I sit?” I heard his voice say cautiously as if speaking to an injured wild animal. 

“Sure… sorry for storming off.” I said, not looking at him. 

“It’s okay… Ben explained.” He said and scoffed. 

“What’d he say? That I still wasn’t over the untimely death of my parents? That I was sent to live with my oh so loving godfather?” I asked sarcastically. 

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. He said he and Louise raised you, tried to get you to go to therapy to work through you feelings about what happened.” He said. 

I shook my head, “I don’t need therapy, not now at least. Louise only wanted me to go because Agnes goes and she’s into all that new age parenting. But I know exactly how I feel about it, now, and I got there without a fucking therapist.” 

I took a deep breath before explaining what really happened, “I was at my grandparents. Ben had invited my dad and mom to his apartment to meet the girl he had been dating, Louise. On the drive over, they got into a car accident. No one survived… it was their fault. If they weren’t going to his apartment then my parents would still be here.” 

Deep down I knew I sounded crazy. But it was the only way I could rationalize their death. 

“I’m sorry, darling. Come here.” He said opening his arms for me. 

I hugged and he held me close. 

“Then when Agnes was born, I was pretty much cast aside. Everything was about her because she’s their really daughter. And I was left to the sideline to watch her get the childhood they took away from me…I’m sorry, I know that makes me sound crazy probably…” I said when I pulled away. 

“Not at all.” He said much to my surprise. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I’ve seen how they treat you now. I think they realized their fuck up and are trying to reverse it now but its too little too late to try and parent you. What’s been done is done and they can’t undo what they did to you. I’m so sorry you were treated like that.” He said. 

“Thank you, Paddy. I’ve never really told anyone all of this and I was sure if I did they would think I was insane… by the way I’m not going back to that brunch. Fuck him. Feel free to go back. I’ll be fine.” I said, secretly hoping he would stay. 

“Well I told them I would go find you… and I think it’s taking a lot longer to find you than I expected. Come on lets get get something to eat.” He said with a smirk. 

Although I really liked that idea, part of me felt guilty about keeping him from his family. 

“I can’t keep you from your family, Paddy.” I said. 

“You can if I’m the one offering. Besides we only have a couple more days together. I intended to use every excuse I can to spend time with you.” He said, leaning over to kiss me. 

A pang of sadness hit me suddenly at that. I knew it was the truth, but I didn’t want to think about that. I knew the likely hood of me seeing him after this vacation were slim. 

“However…” He drew out the word, catching my attention, “After Ben told explained everything about what happened to you and how you all ended up moving and everything. I suggested you all come out to our farm for a bit. Give you a break from the city, get a change of scenery. I told it may do you some good, being out there with the fresh air.” 

“Seriously, when?” I asked, admittedly a bit too excited. 

“Whenever!” He said smiling at my enthusiasm, “I just need your help convince them to come out and see… for you to come see me.” 

“I will.” I promised. 

“Good, now, how about that lunch, hm?” He asked raising an eyebrow and offering me his hand. I nodded with a smile and took his hand before we stood together and he walked us further away from where everyone else was having brunch as we went off to do our own thing. 

In the following days I spent as much time as I could with Paddy. Any excuse I could think of to get close to him I went with. At one point I even agreed to play chicken fight in the pool with Agnes on my shoulders while Paddy had Ant on his. But when the day came for us to leave I was overcome by sadness. Paddy made me feel seen and made me feel more alive that I’ve ever felt before. And now I was leaving that behind back to being the bane of my uncles existence. 

As we came down from our room with our bags, Paddy, Ciria and Ant were all there to see us off. I smiled when I saw him and his smile grew even more when they landed on me. I had secrently kept the shirt he had let me sleep in after the night at the club and I was wearing it right now. 

I waited as everyone else said bye to one another. I gave Ciria a hug telling her I hoped that we could visit soon and her and I could hang out more. I even gave Ant a small side hug telling him Agnes and I had fun playing with him and his dad in the pool. Then I got my turn with Paddy. 

“Oh come here.” He said, wrapping into a tight hug just had he had done with Louise. 

I hugged him back and took a long inhale of his scent knowing I wouldn’t be able to see him for awhile. 

“You look great wearing my clothes… god I’m going to miss you, and your perfect cunt.” He said quietly so no one else would hear. 

I sighed, “I’m going to miss you too… don’t forget, I’m yours.” I whispered back, before pulling away. 

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead, which didn’t seem too suspicious considering he gave Lousie a small peck on the cheek as well. 

“Here, let me help.” Paddy said grabbing my bag along with Agnes’s before following Ben and Louise out to the car. 

We got loaded up and drove away as I sat in silence in the back seat. My only hope was that I could convince my aunt and uncle to actually go out to the farm so I could see him again. 

Taglist

@dreamygirli3 @comicbookslut @dianaxx99 @one-of-thewalkingdead @moist-for-xavier @myartistrash02 @fairy-cores-world d @mayamidge

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Emotions Pt 2 | Sam Winchester x Angel!Fem!Reader

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Angel!Reader

Warnings: SMUT MDNI 18+ ONLY!!!, cunnilingus, p in v (wrap it before you tap it), discussions of grief

Word Count: 3110

A/N: Hi! Trying to work on my requests to give myself a bit of an escape from what’s going on in my personal life right now. I am combining requests I was getting for a part 2 to my Sam x Angel!Reader fic with another request from much later in the queue, so I did have to jump around in the order of my fic requests! I hope that’s okay! 

General Writings Masterlist

Pt 1

If you thought humans were strange and intriguing before, being human was even stranger. Your existence had been predictable before you met Sam Winchester. And now, you were feeling and experiencing multitudes you hadn’t known to be possible. Navigating the full scape of human emotion was incredibly difficult and draining at times. Thoughts you’d never had emotion assigned to would cross your mind at random times of the day. And suddenly, you’d be sniffling and trying to control the tears forming in your eyes. 

Sam had gotten good at navigating these moments with you. He would talk about your feelings with you very openly and share some of his own. 

The first time you realized that Sam would one day die, possibly leaving you on earth alone, you were horrified. 

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, seeing you trying to hold back tears while staring at the ground. 

“You’re gonna die one day,” you said plainly. 

“Uh, yeah,” he snorted. “Yeah, I am.”

“It’s not funny,” you snapped, eyes flashing to his. 

He shook his head. “I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He sat down on the chair across from you. “Just caught me off-guard, ‘s all,” Sam replied. “What brought that on?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. It just… came over me all of a sudden. Does that not scare you?”

He considered for a moment. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” you asked. 

“ ‘Cause somebody told me Heaven’s real—” he nudged your knee with his, making you huff out a small laugh— “and maybe I’ll get to see my mom. Actually meet her.”

“But what am I supposed to do?” you asked.

Sam stared at you for a moment. 

“You’re my best friend, Sam. What am I supposed to do if you die first?” you asked, eyes becoming glassy again.

“What you did before me,” he replied simply. “You just gotta keep going.”

“No offense, Sam, but you’ve been a complete mess without Dean.”

“That’s different. He’s my brother,” Sam said. 

Your gaze was soft, but it held intensity. So much so that it made Sam squirm beneath it. 

“What?” he asked. 

“I don’t think it’s different,” you sniffed. “I just think it’s— oh, what’s that word— grief.”

Sam couldn’t bring himself to look at you. 

“And I think that because you know what you know, you’re convinced that there’s some way to bring him back. And because you can’t do it, you’re not allowing yourself to accept the grief. You’re just… kinda… stuck,” you finished. 

A heavy silence blanketed the air. 

“Y’know, for an angel with zero understanding of human emotion, that was pretty good,” the young man chuckled.

A genuine smile spread across your face.

****

Even with Dean gone, you could see Sam starting to heal. You hoped you played a large part in that. However, you were growing curious as to why you hadn’t heard the angels talking about Castiel retrieving Dean. What were they waiting on?

Ruby hadn’t shown her face, either, much to your surprise. You assumed she could feel that you were here and decided to make herself scarce. A wise choice on her part, if you did say so yourself. 

Sam’s demon blood addiction would sometimes cripple him. On those days where his withdrawals or cravings would get bad, you would sit on the couch or the kitchen floor with his head in your lap and allow him to cry or sleep until the pain subsided. Sometimes, he’d get angry with himself for not being strong enough to push through the affliction on his own, to which you’d remind him that not many humans survive demon blood addiction as well as he had.

“It fucking hurts, (Y/N),” Sam told you, shivering beside you. Sweat beaded at every pore, and his face was flushed. 

You held a wet rag to the back of his neck while he clutched at your knee.

“I know, Sammy—”

“Why didn’t you just let me have it? Maybe I could find Lilith if you’d just—”

You cut him off, trying not to get angry with him. “Sam, no.”

“—But (Y/N)—”

“No.” You pushed yourself off the couch and turned to sit on the ground so that you were eyelevel with him. “I will not let you do that to yourself again. Do you hear me?”

Sam grimaced with watery eyes, but he nodded. 

“I— I can’t watch that happen to you,” you said, tears catching in your throat. It was surprising to find yourself unable to express yourself evenly and coherently as you always had, but your emotion seemed to help you get through to Sam more. 

The other angels had no idea what they were missing. 

***

When you were an angel, you truly didn’t have an internal dialogue. And now, your mind was flooded with constant thought. Occasionally, it was burdensome, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

Before, all you had was experience and memory. It was as if you were entirely continuous with your environment, and you took everything around you at surface value. There was no internal reflection. 

“That’s called ‘sonder’,” Sam explained to you. 

“What is?” you asked, temporarily looking away from the river below you. 

You’d discovered a creaky, wooden bridge over a rushing stream on a walk through the forest with Sam. 

“What you just said. Realizing that everybody has their own experiences, and thoughts, and lives entirely separate from yours,” he continued.

You gently kicked your feet back and forth over the edge of the bridge with your arms crossed over the railing in front of you. Sam sat beside you, watching you. “Does it ever get overwhelming?” you asked him, thinking maybe you were the only one feeling so burdened by thought as a result of your new status as a human. 

“What?” Sam asked. 

“Feeling. Thinking,” you elaborated, unable to look at him out of fear that he may judge you.

“Yeah, frequently.” He nodded, a slight smile on his lips. “But, uh, certain things make it better.”

That caught your attention, as his tone sounded a bit loaded. “What things?”

He kept his gaze down but nudged your shoulder with his. “Certain angels.”

A wide smile spread across your face. “Certain Sam Winchesters make it better for me, too.”

He returned your expression. 

***

The fall months were upon you. The cabin you stayed in with Sam was where you first discovered what “warmth” was as you sat by the fire. Now, though, a different feeling encompassed you. 

It started slowly; ignorable, almost. First, small little bumps formed on your arms while you brought the trash out to the dumpster about a mile away from the cabin. Then, you felt like the wind was blowing through your body. You tried your hardest to ignore the feeling, but soon, it felt like your insides were shaking. 

It freaked you out, to say the least. And when you lifted the lid of the dumpster to put your trash inside, your fingers were blue. In fact, you almost couldn’t feel them at all. 

“What the fuck,” you muttered. 

Afraid of what was happening to you, you began running all the way back to the cabin. When you nearly broke the door down with your entry, Sam jumped to his feet. “Whoa, (Y/N), what the hell?”

You were panting, hunched over, and panicking. “Something— is happening…” you swallowed thickly, “to me.”

Sam rushed over to you, bending down to your level and tucking your hair behind your ear. “What? Are you hurt?”

“I don’t think so,” you breathed out. You looked down at your fingertips and realized they weren’t blue anymore. “Wait, where’d it go?”

You and Sam both straightened up, and you continued to search your fingers for the discoloration. 

“Where’d what go?” Sam questioned. 

“My— My fingers were blue just a minute ago,” you explained. 

“Blue?” he repeated.

You nodded. “And my insides were shaking.”

A small smile began to pull at the ends of Sam’s lips. “Did you also have little bumps on your arms?”

Your eyes snapped to his. “How’d you know that?”

“You’re a seraph. You’ve been around for forever, and you got scared of the wind?” Sam asked. 

“The wind didn’t do that to me,” you said pitifully, “it’s never done that before.”

Sam laughed. 

“It’s not funny,” you pouted grouchily. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Sam continued. “You just got cold, (Y/N).”

You furrowed your brow. 

“Here,” the brunet continued. He opened the door for you, and you walked out of it hesitantly. The first of the Autumn leaves had fallen to the ground and crunched under your feet as you made your way out. 

Sam followed behind, and the two of you stood beside each other silently. You looked up at the trees rustling in the wind, and small wisps of your hair began to lift away from your face. And then, you felt the little bumps forming on your arms again. You looked down, a little less afraid this time. 

“See? Just the wind,” Sam explained. 

Then, a shiver ripped down your spine, and your body began to shake from the feeling. 

“C’mon, let’s get you inside,” he said. Once you were, Sam offered you the jacket that was laying on the back of a chair in the kitchen. You wrapped yourself in it while he continued to tend the fire. 

“It’s probably gonna get cooler tonight, too,” he explained, dusting his hands off and standing from the ground. “This room’s the only one with heat in it.” 

Your eyes widened in worry, as your shivering hadn’t stopped even with the jacket wrapped around you. 

Sam chuckled with fondness at your expression. “You can take my bed.”

“But won’t you be cold, too?” you asked through your clattering teeth. 

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about me.” Off your look, he continued. “Seriously. I’m kinda a human furnace.”

“C’mere, then,” you asserted. 

The brunet seemed caught off-guard. 

“Please?” you begged. “I’m still cold.”

Hesitantly, he sat on the couch beside you and opened his arms to you. You shuffled across the couch to where you were curled into his chest between his outstretched legs. Sam relaxed against the arm of the couch and wrapped his strong arms around you.

With a look that almost bordered on pleading, you pulled back from his chest and stared up at him. His eyes seemed to almost search your face before he began to lean down toward you. Feeling a sudden surge of confidence, you leaned up to press your lips to his. 

Sam immediately groaned at the contact, and you threaded your fingers through his hair while his hands explored the curves of your waist. When his hand grazed the underside of your breast, you took in a sharp breath. 

Immediately, Sam broke the kiss. “Is this okay?”

Without breaking eye contact, you grabbed his hand and brought it to your breast. An intense lust clouded his eyes, and Sam pulled your head back toward his while he kneaded your breast in his hand. 

Heat flooded your thighs, and you were a bit overwhelmed by the feeling. Your breath quickened as you allowed Sam to push your shirt up over your head. 

He broke the kiss again only to say, “Bed, now.”

You nodded eagerly, pressing your lips back against his. He took your legs and wrapped them around his waist. With you pressed so closely to him, you subconsciously began to grind against him as he carried you over to his bed in the corner of the room. He gently laid you on the bed and pressed his forehead to yours, panting. “You can’t— You can’t do that.”

“What?” you asked timidly. “Did I do something wrong?”

Sam shook his head, still trying to catch his breath. “No, no, you’re fine. But I’m not gonna be able to hold back if you keep doing that.”

Hesitantly, you planted your feet on the bed on either side of his hips and began to grind up into him. 

A challenge in Sam’s eyes, he leaned back down to kiss you with an unrivaled passion. His hands roamed your torso, careful to avoid the band of your sweatpants. Gently, he ran his hands along the band of your bra. “Can I take this off?”

You nodded feverishly, breath quickening. As soon as he’d gotten it off, Sam began to kiss down your chest while kneading your breasts in his hands. He continued to kiss down your stomach, nipping at the soft flesh every once in a while. When he was eye-level with your clothed pussy, he asked, “Can I take these off?” running his hands over your clothed hips. 

You nodded, but Sam could tell something was wrong. “What is it?” He straightened up. 

“I’ve just never done this before,” you said honestly. 

“It’s okay,” Sam told you. “If you wanna stop, we can stop.”

You quickly shook your head “no.” “Don’t stop, please.”

He chuckled and began to take your sweatpants and underwear down your hips slowly, teasingly. 

“Please, Sam,” you said. “I don’t know what this feeling is, but I need you here.” You took his hand and brought it near your throbbing cunt. 

He took in a sharp breath, almost seeming unable to contain himself. “Can I touch you?” he asked. 

You nodded eagerly, and he pulled your hips closer to the edge of the bed before dragging his fingers through your folds. You keened while his long, thick fingers circled your clit. He then pulled your thighs toward his face and dove between them, lapping at your clit like a man starved. Your hands flew to his head, and he grabbed them, lacing your fingers together. Sam held your hands on either side of your body, gently stroking them with his thumbs in contrast to the fierceness he was eating you out with. 

“God, Sam!” you cried, grinding your hips into his face. That simply spurred him on more. 

Suddenly, what felt like a knot began to form in your lower stomach. “Wait, Sam,” you said, as the knot began to tighten. 

He pulled away from you, bringing his fingers back to your clit while he crawled over the top of you. “Uh-huh?” he asked. 

You continued to grind down onto his fingers, closing your eyes at the pleasurable feeling. “Something—” you bit your lower lip to keep yourself from crying out, “Something’s happening.”

Sam smiled. “Don’t worry, okay? It’s normal.”

You nodded breathlessly. “Okay.” 

Then, he started to insert his middle finger into you, pulling a sharp breath out of you. 

“I know,” he coaxed you. “But I gotta get you ready for me, okay?”

You nodded. 

“Words, (Y/N/N),” he asserted. 

“Okay,” you said shakily. 

Sam inserted one finger, and then, another. He began to move them in and out of you while putting pressure on your clit with the heel of his hand. The feeling was overwhelming, and you tried to close your legs around his hand. However, you were stopped by his body between your legs. 

The feeling continued to build and build, and you couldn’t hold back your cries anymore. A string of moans and curses left your mouth. 

“Just let it happen, okay? I’ve got you,” Sam told you. 

You nodded. 

“Words,” he demanded. 

“Yes, god, yes,” you replied. “Don’t stop,” you begged. 

He scissored his fingers inside of you, pushing you over the edge. The knot in your stomach snapped, and your core began to throb around his fingers. 

“God, Sam!” you cried out. “Fuck!” 

As your breathing began to slow, he asked, “You okay?” You nodded. “Yeah,” you breathed out. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he smirked lopsidedly. 

You looked down at the bulge in jeans, and you looked up at him wantonly. 

“No, no, this isn’t about me,” he told you. 

“But I wanna make you feel good,” you whined. 

“You already are,” Sam told you. 

You leaned up to pull his face down to yours, kissing him again to convey everything you felt for him in that moment. You helped him out of his jeans, and once he had a condom on, he began to line himself up at your entrance. 

“You sure you want this?” Sam asked. 

“Yes,” you nodded. “Please, I need it.”

Slowly but surely, he began to push into you. He put his elbows on either side of your head, allowing you to curl your nails into his back with the pressure you were feeling inside of you. 

“I’m sorry, I know it’s uncomfortable,” he told you.

You shook your head, bringing your hands to either side of his face and kissing him deeply. Sam used that opportunity of distraction to push himself all the way inside, causing both of you to moan into each other’s mouths. 

Once he’d ensured you adjusted, he began to thrust into you. Sam’s movements were slow and deep, allowing you to feel every inch and ridge of his cock. You closed your eyes and dropped your head back in pure euphoria as he began to pick up his pace, bringing both of you closer to your climaxes. 

When you felt the knot beginning to form in your stomach again, you brought your hand to your clit and rubbed circles over it. Sam, having none of it, pushed your hand aside and mimicked the motion himself, allowing you to rake your nails up and down his back. Between the feeling of him thrusting inside of you and the pressure on your clit, the knot inside you snapped. 

With a keening cry, you moved your hips in time with histo ride out your high while Sam rode out his. The two of you breathed heaving breaths, allowing time for both of you to come down.

When the both of you were cleaned up and thoroughly spent, Sam held you against his chest while you drew invisible patterns on his upper chest. 

With a smile tugging on the ends of his lips, Sam asked, “You still cold?”

Taglist for Emotions:

@slutforfictionalcharacterss @criminalmindsiscool @littledebbieinabigworld

Forever tags are open; Series Rewrite taglist is closed!! :) Requests are open!

[metalomagnetic]

Sorry- another quick question! In IRITB, Sirius and Voldemort's relationship definitely spans over a year, and Sirius seems the type to like to celebrate his birthday. Maybe this is something you are planning to write in a future chapter, but what would they give/do for each other on their birthdays? Voldemort gives Bellatrix a fancy necklace for one of her birthdays in the fic, I feel like he would do something more for Sirius, and Sirius is an established gift-giver, so I'm curious what they would come up with!

I think Sirius had 2 birthdays while with V, but for the first they weren't yet...*that* close. I actually wrote a scene for it, back for chapter 15 or 16, but I cut it because, well...you know my chapters, they are way too long and I always end up having to cut back.

We might see Sirius' second bday in Canis Major (I am currently waging war with that chapter, wrote it and deleted the entire thing 3 times already) but no promises.

As for Voldemort's bday, Sirius doesn't know when it is. He will think about this later on, but for now he sees Voldemort as this ethereal god like creature and it's hard to imagine he was actually born like any other man, so it never crosses Sirius' mind. However, worry not, he gives gifts to Voldemort All The Time.

We'll see Voldemort in Canis Major trying to make space for it all, because he just doesn't know where to put everything anymore (we'll also see how hard it is for him to let go of things he previously owned, how he clings to everything he collected. Remember that table Sirius hated for being too small, and he replaced it with a bigger one? Yeah, the small table is still there, squirrelled away by Voldemort in the torture barn 😂).

[sserpente]

A/N: Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates! ♥ Some naughty President Loki action seems like a fitting Easter gift to me, what do you think? Also, I’m proud to announce there’s an actual Easter egg in this Imagine that may or may not have something to do with my upcoming English novel… Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 2616 Warnings: assassin!Reader, violence, dub-con, smut

One and a half million—as a deposit. That’s how much you demanded to see in your secret bank account before you had even considered going anywhere near what used to be Stark Tower and now acted as a base for him. Loki. President Loki.

You didn’t particularly care who you were supposed to kill, nor who hired you to do it. Governments were corrupted all over the world—there was not a single politician who didn’t act in his own interests rather than the people’s. You were only in it for the money.

President Loki, however… he was different. That man was a god with abilities you wouldn’t even dare dream of as a mere human. Your raised fee would reflect the danger you’d put yourself in if you accepted this mission. And then once the God of Mischief was dead, you’d be ten million dollars richer.

You were the best of the best—you got hired when the job needed to get done. You doubted that anyone else would be capable of sending Loki straight to hell. Or was it Helheim? He was a Norse god, after all. Surely, there was some eternal hellfire reserved for the likes of him.

But then again, you weren’t exactly a saint either. You murdered for money, never questioning whether the person whose life you were going to end was innocent or not. Granted, most of them were not and had red on their ledger one way or another but occasionally… occasionally, they did not deserve to die.

You were pretty certain that Loki did though. He wasn’t the worst ruler this world had ever seen but at the end of the day… he was an alien king forcing humans into submission. You wouldn’t bow to anyone, you thought, as you polished the sharp and hidden blade inside your lipstick. The job was messier when you chose it as your weapon but with Loki, you’d have to be sure. A slit throat would ensure he was truly dead and for that, you would have to get up close.

This time, your approach was going to be a little… unconventional. You had thought about it for a long time—and you had come to the conclusion that there was no other way to get into that tower without getting killed yourself before making it even anywhere near Loki.

Judy Magenta. That was the made-up name you had used to register for the escort service to receive legal identification for offering Loki… your time. It had taken quite a few naughty pictures to lure him in, along with a bought recommendation from another escort girl one of Loki’s lackeys booked regularly.

You had to admit, you did feel a little silly putting on that green glittery cocktail dress after tossing your lipstick knife into your clutch. The black high heels were a lovely touch though. You’d keep them after this job, as a trophy.

-

“You’re here to… entertain the president tonight?” The bulky bald man who escorted you to the lifts after the taxi driver dropped you off right in front of Stark Tower licked his lips when his greedy gaze travelled up and down your V-shaped cleavage.

“I am,” you gave back with a sweet smile, batting your eyelashes at him all the while you imagined kicking him in the balls until he howled for his mummy. You could tell he kept staring at your body and your rather revealing outfit during the ride up to the penthouse but, for the sake of keeping in mind you were not really an escort girl, you elected to ignore it and said nothing.

President Loki was standing at his bar surrounded by power-hungry politicians eager for his attention. Dressed in a black suit with a green tie and those golden horns on his head, he turned to face you with a glass filled with what you presumed was bourbon in his hand. He lifted his chin in a curious manner, his blue eyes narrowing just a little.

“Mr President…” the bulky bouncer began. “Uh… this is…”

“Judy. Judy Magenta. Your company for the night?” you offered. The bouncer let out a relieved breath.

“Ahh… just in time. I was just about to call it a day.” Loki’s voice was smooth, charming. He had a way with words, you had to give him that. Under different circumstances, you’d even admit that he was outrageously attractive. He was a god, after all. That must have been the reason.

You didn’t know if he’d done this before—or if he’d done it back on Asgard but at the end of the day, it didn’t matter, right? You were only doing this because it would give you the perfect opportunity to get just close enough to kill him and get this over with. Pleasure had no place here.

“Gentlemen… I will see you tomorrow. And you…” His blue eyes fixated on you, involuntarily sending shivers up and down your spine. “…why don’t you wait for me in my bedroom? I will be joining you shortly.”

You almost scoffed. So formal… if the sex was going to be anything like that… ugh. Well, most men with a big ego disappointed under the sheets.

Nodding, you made your way over to the door he pointed at and slid inside, taking in the furniture. A king-size bed with green sheets, of course, hundreds of books on shelves towering up all the way to the ceiling, and a neat desk armed with ink and a green and gold quill. It was very old-fashioned but a surprisingly comfortable room, you decided, as you threw your clutch on the bed.

You’d come prepared. Condoms, lube, even a cock ring. Whatever would tickle his fancy before you’d draw your little knife for a different kind of climax. By the time his lackeys would notice he was dead, you would be long gone. You were wearing a wig tonight as well, along with some coloured contacts to conceal your identity. Life as an assassin was a dangerous and lonely one but you were pretty used to it.

You flipped around when you heard the door open, forcing a fake smile. Loki had removed his horns now, and swapped his suit for a more comfortable outfit. In fact, he was shirtless, putting his pale but trained chest and arms on display. He wasn’t as shredded as Thor but the God of Thunder had never been your type anyway. Loki on the other hand… remember, no pleasure!

Your feigned smile widened as you turned around and moved your fake hair out of the way. “Help me undress?” You felt his presence behind you after a few silent steps, his soft fingers ghosting over your back to unzip you.

Needless to say, you had relinquished wearing any underwear tonight even though you did carry a spare pair of knickers in your clutch just in case. Once he slid the green dress off of your body and you stepped out of it, you turned back around, trailing your fingers over his abs.

“Ready for some fun, Mr President?”

“Loki will suffice, pet,” he replied. Pet? Oh, of course. Complete and utter submission. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at him and instead, took his hands in yours and started walking backwards until you could lie down on his bed, pulling him on top of you.

You had to admit, you quite enjoyed how hungrily he glared at your naked body, his blue eyes wandering over every single inch of bare skin as if he was a demon you had summoned and now aimed to please in exchange for his power. The bulge in his trousers grew quickly as he hovered above you.

“Loki,” you repeated, testing his name on your tongue. Then, you reached for your clutch on his bed, pulling out the lube.

“And what’s that when it’s at home?” he asked, eyeing the bottle in your hands suspiciously.

You smiled at him. “Lube will make this experience more enjoyable for the both of us, Loki.”

The God of Mischief frowned. You blinked at him when he began to chuckle as if you’d just told him a hilarious joke.

“I can guarantee you, we will not need it, pet.” You were about to protest when he cupped your cunt with his hand all of a sudden, two fingers lightly stroking over your outer lips. You dropped the small bottle the moment his thumb found your clit, applying just enough pressure to ignite… arousal. He knew what he was doing. You realised that the moment he bent down to pepper your neck with hot kisses and teasing licks, his digits working their magic. He had you wet and ready for him within minutes of this delicious treatment. Fuck… you were not supposed to be enjoying this!

“There we go… it seems your body thinks we don’t need your lube either…”

You gasped for air when he slid two fingers inside of you, curling them at your g-spot. Your hips were bucking up to meet his hand against your will the moment the slick sounds of him fingering you echoed through the silent bedroom.

“Oh… fuck…” That felt good. You couldn’t quite remember the last time you had taken a minute to masturbate. That… that must have been why. You hadn’t had sex in so long that Loki exploring your soaking pussy had you writhing because of your celibate lifestyle.

His dark chuckle went directly between your legs too. And it was only then you realised that his trousers had disappeared into thin air, willed away by magic. You could feel his hard length pressing against your inner thigh, eager to claim you. Much to your own surprise… you wanted him to.

“C-Condom…” you choked out panting. But your reward was Loki removing his fingers from your cunt to instead snatch your wrists and pin them down above your head to render you all but helpless beneath him.

“A condom? I don’t think so, pet…” And with that, he forced himself between your legs and used his free hand to guide himself into your waiting hole. Inch by inch, Loki pushed forward, sheathing his girth inside you until he’d claimed you to the brim. His growl made you moan as he filled you so deliciously well that you believed your pussy was made for him.

When he started moving, you almost forgot why you were here. Loki withdrew almost entirely and then began rutting into you like there was no tomorrow. He fucked the assassin right out of you—for when your eyes rolled to the back of your head, he made sure to attack your neck yet again.

Moaning, you arched your back, your breasts brushing against his bare chest with every single thrust of his and fuck, this man knew how to use his tool. Each and every stroke drove you further to what already felt like the best orgasm of your life as the sound of sex and skin slapping against skin filled the room.

“I can feel you tightening around me, pet. Cum. Beg me for my seed,” Loki growled into your ear. You wanted to disobey him—wanted to disobey that commanding tone, that entitled smugness. But you couldn’t. Loki played you like an instrument, taking that delicious climax from you whether you wanted to give it to him or not.

You came around him with a moan, your toes curling and your walls pulsing around him, doing just what he had asked you to do. Your cunt was begging for his seed. He was merciful tonight. Loki reached his own peak with a low growl only moments later, filling you up and staining your walls until it came oozing out of you.

Fuck… fuck, fuck, fuck, that arsehole had screwed you without a condom! Only now that you came back to your senses did you realise what you had let him do. Okay, don’t freak out… you can get a morning-after pill as soon as you are out the door. You’d ruin everything if you lashed out at him now. Besides… Loki was still hard—and it did not seem like he was going to tire any time soon.

-

It was three a.m. when he finally let you rest. Your pussy was sore, his cum leaking from almost all of your openings. He’d made you cum for him at least six more times before you’d lost count and now… now he was sound asleep next to you.

Time to strike.

As quiet as a mouse so you wouldn’t wake him up, you reached for your clutch that had at some point fallen to the floor, retrieving your lipstick knife. Then, you climbed on top of him, revealing the blade in the dark. You could barely make out his features with the curtains drawn but your eyes were trained to work in the shadows.

You gripped your weapon tighter, ready to slit his throat.

“I wonder…”, he mused with a start. You froze. “I wonder how much money you were offered to try.” He’s awake. “Are you going to tell me, pet?”

Your heart was beating so fast you worried it would jump straight out of your chest. Your paralysis lasted for only a second too long. By the time you reacted to finish what you’d started and kill him, he’d already overwhelmed you. Loki snatched your wrist so harshly you were forced to drop your weapon. He flipped you both over so you came to lie on the bed beneath him, his face only inches from yours. You winced when he ripped the wig off of you.

“Now… I’m impressed. You went to considerable lengths to get close to me. But you see, pet, I am the God of Mischief. I’m not easily tricked.” Cold shivers ran up and down your spine when he proceeded to call you by your real name. “But I must admit,” he went on, “that I am also a little disappointed. You know the punishment for attempted assassination of your king, do you not?”

Death. Execution. You swallowed thickly. How had he found out? He’d known. He’d known this entire time you were no real escort girl and still… he’d still fucked you! You gnashed your teeth, narrowing your eyes at him with anger usurping your growing fear.

“It’s a shame, really… you would make such a fine pet. Hmm…” He paused, burying his face in your neck and inhaling your scent deeply. “I think I’m going to keep you.”

Your eyes widened. “Kill me or let me go, Loki. I’m not playing your stupid games.”

“Oh, but you will, pet. You better get used to your new surroundings. You won’t be leaving any time soon.”

He made you moan involuntarily when he pushed inside of you without any forewarning. You hadn’t even realised he’d gotten hard again.

“Now…” he mused. “How much was it?” His lazy strokes made you even angrier—it felt good. Too fucking good.

“Ten… million,” you spat through gritted teeth.

“Ahh… well, I hope the money was worth your freedom. Because you are mine now, my little assassin.”

You wanted to punch him, scratch him and bite him, to wipe that mischievous smirk from his face. But you couldn’t. Not right now anyway—Loki kept rutting into you until you were sure to lose consciousness. My little assassin… you hated the depraved and lascivious part of you that enjoyed the idea of him keeping you as a pet.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow you’d finish your mission, right after… right after you’d let him give you another orgasm. You’d… find a way… surely…

[cardboardheartss]

Hello~ I just wanted to check up on a request I made at the beginning of the year. I'm not sure if it got lost or you've just been busy. It was about BTS and what kind of friend they would be based on tarot?

Also, I want to praise you for your honesty and courage in continuing to speak up about the HYBE situation. I don't really follow a lot of groups and only stick to bts but I feel so bad for these girls. Btw, are you the tarot reader who did a what does bts think of the HYBE and Newjeans reading or am I mixing you with someone else? I tried to look through your tags but couldn't see it.

I hope you don't mind if I can ask another request but what do the bts members think of the palestine situation and some fans boycotting? I understand this might be controversial but I feel you are the few tarot readers who would actually tell the truth and sugar coat. Don't worry, I may be an army but even I know they have flaws. I am just curious. I understand if you don't want to however.

BTS View on Palestine Genoicde Mini Reading

Overall Thoughts on situation

Distance rx , Open Up Your Heart rx

They are all obviously aware of the situation and it saddens them a lot. They feel very remorseful towards the Palestinian lives lost.

RM

Yes rx & Give it time

He completely disagrees with what’s happening, and wishes to openly demand a ceasefire but he knows that detrimental consequences he will face.

SUGA

Commitment, Divorce, No rx

It seems like he also is aware of this as wishes to speak up about it but he also knows the consequences he will face, and he doesn’t want more of that pressure on him. He is also really persistent into knowing why there has been no ceasefire yet.

Jin

Sexuality & Moving rx

Before you wonder… why is there a sexuality card here for this situation lol! Here’s what the card says :

So with these cards he could wonder why it’s taking so long for Israel to just end this and also move on, but he seems to be keeping up with the news and has read on how they wanna take over land, but either way, he still questions their decisions a lot.

J-Hope

Health rx, Date Night rx, Water Sign rx, Spy rx, Fire sign

He believes that Israel don’t care for the health of Palestinians and don’t even bother to end this. He also thinks that Israel are inhumane and questionable too. He also wonders why they doing all of this destruction over Hama’s, who have nothing to do with fuel in this war.

Jimin

Confession

He is aware of it… that’s all.

V

Let Go rx

V also is aware of how much Palestinians are fighting for their land. And hes condemning him for that thought. He is also standing for a ceasefire for this issue.

Jungkook

Gold Digger & Move On

He believes Israel are a money hungry country, and believe that they solely doing this for money; and he also demands for a ceasefire:

Overall thoughts of fans boycotting

Pregnancy, Liar, Cycles, Patience, Guardian rx & Honeymoon.

Sorry yall… they don’t believe y’all and know for a fact that if they drop a song. It’s going to be a hit because fans will continue to sing and stream it. No boycotts from army were evident from the past few months.🤷🏽‍♀️

[the-unknown-void]

How do I title this without sounding like a freak?

Drone Reproduction Headcanons/theories (NOT-NSFW)

You know when something presents you a fictional species and establishes that said species can reproduce. Immediately your brain starts intrusively pondering "Man I wonder how that works."

I say intrusively because it's not like I WANTED to think about it, but I've got a curious brain and it can end up kind of interesting.

Now what the hell is this about? Murder Drones, yeah, robots.

Warning: My headcanons/theories for this are ENTIRELY SFW but I will add a "keep reading" divider regardless. also this is just so I can ramble, note that none of this is canon and it purely my own ponderings.

Let's get a few things out of the way: THEY DO NOT HAVE GENITALS, AND THEY DO NOT NEED TO DO THE NASTY! While I definitely think humans would totally make robots that do that(because we're freaks), I'm just going to ignore that lmao.

You've probably seen this idea before, and I've heard something about the creator mentioning it but I don't have Twitter so I have don't really know.

I had an idea for this already, but also this post(TW: Implied Miscarriage) by @tomahachi12 gives it more detail. I already had an idea for the parent drones to hook themselves up with a cord, and copy both their code into.. something. But I didn't really think of how the actual baby came to be.

But now thanks to them, I've gotten a full idea.

They get the pill baby/baby drone shell or whatever you wanna call it beforehand. Use a specialized cord to connect each other and the baby drone Start the data transfer to the baby drone and after an hour or several, baby is officially a conscious being that'll slowly grow up!

What does this mean? Gay couples can reproduce just as easily as their hetero counterparts, nothing special required! (Am still pondering if more or less than 2 parents could be possible too)

Those afflicted with the Absolute Solver(Like Uzi, Nori, Doll, and Yeva) will have MUCH more difficulty successfully conceiving due to corrupted data.

So what about Disassembly Drones?

Since disassembly drones used to be worker drones at some point, they would still technically have the necessary code to be able to reproduce.. however, it would be unused, and they would lack port for the specialized cord. As they are mainly cloned, meaning they don't have a need to reproduce themselves. Also they don't have their own baby-forms, they'd have to use a worker drone baby-shell.. How that would effect its appearance growing up, I don't really.. know.

They'd have to be altered slightly in order to actually use that old code for reproduction, but this wouldn't be too difficult, as they mainly just need that port.

Can a Worker Drone and a Disassembly Drone reproduce? (cough cough, N/Uzi, cough cough)

Uhhh.. I'm sorry people but the answer is probably not. umu

While disassembly drones were once worker drones, they still have loads of differences in data that'd scramble the whole process, similar to being afflicted with the Absolute Solver.

And quick note for Uzi specifically: Combined with her situation where she's basically fused with Cyn now.. she's effectively infertile, sorry. That's a LOT wrong going on.

Best case scenario is that the child of a worker drone and disassembly drone would not take on any disassembly drone traits, only being a worker drone.

Conclusion?

Don't let this stop you from making any fan-kids or.. imagining other processes, wink wonk. Ahem- This is purely my own thoughts and ideas based on the show and things I made up in my head.

If you disagree, that's fine. If you like these ideas and want to use them? Go ahead, they definitely aren't original anyways.

Some may be saddened by the fact my headcanons disable Nuzi children- and while I don't personally think Uzi would ever want kids, may I present you an idea: surrogate V. Since she is also a disassembly drone like N, and is unafflicted with the Absolute Solver. Hehe.

Have fun doing whatever you want with this.

[tip-top-cloud-surfer]

What is L-O-V-E? - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Bradshaw!Fem!OC (Lena) (Ex-Wife!OC)

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Divorce and Separation; Angst; References to Child Custody Agreements; One Sided Feelings; Toxic/Conflictual Dynamics; References to Goose and Carole; Female Bradshaw OC and Named Son OC

This work, all of my works, and my entire blog is 18+ Only!

Summary: Lena Bradshaw (formerly Seresin) struggles once again to keep the peace between her ex-husband Jake and her older brother Bradley for her son's sake. And the uranium facility mission only seems to heighten the stakes of it all.

A.N. Everyone's a little toxic here. Just so we're clear.

Part 2 Part 3

Master List

Lena Bradshaw was not the best when it came to dealing with conflict.

If she were to see a therapist, they probably would have blamed that on the fact that she was an orphan before she was even a teenager and didn’t remember her biological father. Childhood trauma and all that. But either way, she was horrible at dealing with conflict.

Especially in her personal life.

There was the fight between Bradley and Maverick over the Naval Academy. Then there were the fights between Bradley and her now ex-husband Jake. And then, of course, there was her divorce. She simultaneously was both too compromising and too difficult at the same time.

But regardless, Lena had one main priority in her life now. And that was her son, Nickie. Nicholas Jacob Seresin-Bradshaw. The ‘Bradshaw’ got added on after the divorce.

Nickie was on the cusp of turning four now and quickly growing more curious about the world around him. And that raised a lot of maternal anxiety in Lena. Especially when it came to Nickie’s fascination with aviation. Particularly naval aviation. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Every single important male figure in Nickie’s life was a naval aviator. But it still scared her.

“Look at all the planes, Mommy!” Nickie shouted, causing Lena to snap out of her thoughts.

“I know, there’s a lot of them,” she agreed softly.

Lena turned back to the road and changed lanes, heading for the San Diego International Airport to pick up her brother. Bradley called her yesterday to tell her that he was returning to Top Gun for some mission and Lena was sure that her blood pressure hadn’t returned to a normal level since then.

“Is Uncle Roos on one of those planes?” Nickie questioned excitedly, pressing his face to the window.

“He should have landed by now.”

Lena pulled out her phone and pressed on Bradley’s contact. Nickie peeled his face off of the window, leaving marks where his nose and forehead were leaned up against it.

“Are you calling him?”

“Yes, because your uncle never tells me where he is,” Lena replied dryly.

She was also waiting for a text or call from her ex-husband, but so far it was radio silence. That wasn’t necessarily odd, however. After one of Jake’s deployments got extended last minute and Nickie was inconsolable when Lena broke the news to him, Jake didn’t call her until he was actually standing on American soil.

But if Bradley got the call back to Top Gun for some big mission, Lena had to assume that Jake would also be returning to Miramar. Lena didn’t want to wade into the rivalry between her brother and her ex-husband, but Jake was the better pilot.

Don’t tell Bradley that she said that. Ever.

“Hello, this is your captain speaking,” Rooster answered the call in a mock-pilot voice. Lena rolled her eyes as Nickie giggled from the backseat.

“Where am I picking you up again?” she asked, glancing at the sidewalk.

“Aw, you’re no fun,” Rooster jokingly whined.

“Hi, Uncle Roos!” Nickie shouted from the backseat.

“Hey, buddy! How are you?” Bradley asked, reverting back to his normal voice.

“Good! There’s lots of planes here!”

“There are,” Rooster agreed.

“Look, if you want the free ride and meal that I promised, you do have to tell me where you are so that I can pick you up,” Lena sighed, driving slowly through the terminal.

“I’m down at the end. Right past the last set of speed bumps before you get to the next airline.”

“Okay, then we’ll see you in a few seconds.”

“No, no, Mommy, you’re supposed to say, ‘copy that’,” Nickie corrected her.

“You tell her, Nickie!”

“Goodbye,” Lena stressed, ending the call.

She plopped her phone into the cupholder and looked through the crowded mess on the sidewalk. Lena slowly rolled over the last set of speed bumps before Nickie began to eagerly bounce in his seat and press his hands against the window.

“There he is!”

“Still dressed like its 1986,” Lena mumbled under her breath.

Rooster waved comedically to Nickie as he followed Lena’s car, causing Nickie to laugh and wave back to him just as dramatically. Lena slowed the car down before putting it into park. Rooster walked around to the back, opened the trunk, and placed his duffel bag down.

“Uncle Roos!” Nickie called excitedly.

“Is that Nickie? Nah, you’re too big to be Nickie,” Rooster teased his nephew.

“It’s me!” Nickie huffed as Rooster walked around the car.

“Thanks for picking me up, Sis. You’re too kind,” Rooster joked, sliding into the passenger seat.

“I know, I am,” Lena replied with a small smile.

She leaned over and tugged her brother into a tight hug that Bradley happily returned. It had been a solid eight months since the Bradshaw siblings were in the same city. And even though Bradley called and emailed her whenever he could, it was nice to have her brother sitting beside her again.

“How was your flight?” Lena asked, turning to pull out of the airport.

“Not too bad. Long. But now I get to hang out with my favorite nephew all day!” Rooster replied, spinning around to face Nickie.

“I’m your only nephew!”

“Still counts!”

“Seatbelt,” Lena stated, smacking Rooster on the arm. “Even fighter pilots need to wear their seatbelts.”

“Yeah, Uncle Roos!”

Lena drove them away from the airport, chatting casually with Rooster about his most recent deployment and any other life updates. But Nickie quickly butted into the conversation and informed Uncle Rooster all about his life. Rooster listened along intently, adding commentary where necessary, and genuinely making Nickie feel heard.

After all, Nickie was Rooster’s godson. Jake was more than a little annoyed about it at the time, but Rooster was Nickie’s godfather. And Rooster absolutely adored Nickie. He hated the fact that Nickie’s dad was Jake, but he wouldn’t hesitate to spend any time with Nickie. Ever.

“And Daddy promised to take me to a football game soon!” Nickie yelled out excitedly, missing how Rooster’s expression changed.

“Did you get that in writing?” Rooster asked Nickie dryly.

Lena immediately smacked Rooster on the arm, causing him to huff and rub the tender skin. Nickie was a little confused about the shift in the atmosphere, but he just laughed off the interaction between his mom and his uncle. Lena shot her brother a look before turning back to the road.

“Do not talk bad about J-A-K-E in front of Nickie,” she stated, leaving no room for argument.

The only time that Lena ever saw her brother turn purple with rage, minus the paper pulling situation, was when she told him about her and Jake. Rooster spouted off just about every bad word that he ever heard about Jake, told Lena that she was making the biggest mistake of her life, and swore up and down that Jake was just going to break her heart.

Rooster quieted down about his distaste for Jake around the time that Nickie was born and they both used Nickie as a buffer between them when they were forced to be around each other. But Lena just wished that they would just bury the hatchet already. And she definitely would not tolerate either of them talking bad about the other in front of Nickie.

Absolutely not.

“I’m just saying—”

“—And you’re going to stop saying whatever it is,” Lena interjected, shooting her brother a sharp glare. “He apologized for that and he made it up. So, drop it.”

“I’m just saying that he’s an A-S-S-H-O—”

“—Brad, I know, okay?” Lena huffed, getting a little aggravated with her brother. “I left him for a reason. But don’t talk bad about him in front of your nephew. He’s still part of our lives whether you like it or not. So, don’t talk about him like that. Got it?”

“Fine,” Rooster replied, dropping the discussion. He turned back to Nickie with a new and slightly forced smile. “We can toss a ball around in the backyard when we get to your house, Nickie.”

“Yay!”

Lena pulled up to her and Nickie’s home a few minutes later. The house that actually used to belong to Maverick and was the house that she and Bradley lived in after their mom passed. When Lena called Maverick crying about her divorce, he gifted her the house. Unprompted and despite the fact that Lena told him that it was too much.

Maverick called it a fresh start. And, so, Lena took it.

“I’ll race you inside,” Rooster told Nickie, who hurriedly tugged at his car seat.

“There’s a child lock on his door,” Lena sighed, causing Rooster to glance back at her.

“Well, then I’ll get you out and then we’ll race, Nickie.”

Rooster pulled Nickie out of his car seat and set him on the ground. But Nickie wasn’t going to wait for anyone and took off for the house. Rooster was right behind him, which caused Nickie to squeal. Lena smiled to herself and slid out of the car. Lena walked up after them and unlocked the door.

“The baseball stuff is in that closet. Do not trek dirt into my house, Bradley.”

“Copy that,” Rooster replied, barely listening, as Nickie ran over to his toy closet.

Nickie and Rooster headed outside to toss a baseball around while Lena started on lunch. She was in the middle of pulling out ingredients for sandwiches when her phone started to buzz. Noting the contact, Lena let out a sigh and answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Are you at work?” Jake asked as Lena moved around her kitchen.

“No, I took the day off. My brother is in town.”

“Did he get called back to Top Gun?” Jake immediately questioned, unable to hide his distaste.

“Yes, why?”

“I got called up too. And so did Javy.”

Lena paused for a moment, staring out the window. If the Navy already called in Jake, Bradley, and Javy, she had to assume that something big was happening. And by ‘big’ she meant dangerous. And Lena preferred to stay away from the danger zone. Very far away from the danger zone.

“So, are you coming to Miramar soon then?” Lena asked, refocusing on the phone call.

“I’m driving down from Lemoore now. It says that I’m about four hours away.” There was a beat of silence before Jake asked, “Am I allowed to come over since the chicken is there?”

“Jake,” Lena pleaded quietly, “he’s still Nickie’s uncle. We haven’t seen him in nearly a year.”

“Well, I’m Nickie’s dad.”

“I’m aware,” Lena sighed, leaning on the countertop. “And Nickie knows that too.” Lena glanced out the window before turning back to her call. “Bradley isn’t staying for dinner. He should be gone by the time that you get here.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you want me to tell Nickie that you’re coming here?”

“No, I’ll surprise him.”

“Okay. Text me when you get to Miramar.”

“I will. Bye.”

“Bye, Jake.”

Setting her phone down on the countertop, Lena held her head in her hands and took a breath.

She didn’t plan on getting divorced. She didn’t want to get divorced. She tried to make it work. She tried to get them into counseling, she tried to communicate how she was feeling and what she needed from their relationship, and she reminded herself over and over again about how miserable her mom was as a single mom.

But she wasn’t her mom. She wasn’t strong like her mom. She didn’t lose Jake like Carole lost Goose. She lost Jake while he was standing right there in front of her. The fantasy that she had in her head shattered and there were too many pieces to pick up and put back together.

And even though her ex-mother-in-law accused her of enjoying the divorce, Lena didn’t take any pleasure in it. But she tried and she failed. And she tried again and she failed. And there were only so many times that she could try before she lost it. So, she got divorced.

Turning back to the bread, Lena simply focused on making lunch. She eventually set the plates down on the table and walked over to the sliding door. Pushing it open, she stuck her head outside.

“Lunch is ready. But leave your dirty shoes on the steps,” she called, shooting a look at Rooster.

“Copy that, Mommy!” Nickie shouted happily.

They all sat around the table, enjoying lunch and catching up. Taking a sip from her drink, Lena turned to her brother.

“So, what time are you leaving?”

“Before dinner time. I should see who else got the call up. And they’ll all be at the Hard Deck.”

“Say ‘hi’ to Penny for me,” Lena replied, wiping at Nickie’s face.

“I will,” Rooster promised.

“I like Penny,” Nickie announced, pushing his vegetables around on his plate. “She gave me a pop-sickle. And let me ring the bell!”

“I’ve always wanted to ring the bell,” Rooster told Nickie, as if he were sharing top-secret government information. “What was it like?”

“Really loud! Mommy didn’t like it.”

Rooster laughed as Lena shook her head at the memory. She distinctly recalled dragging Nickie away from the bell because he wouldn’t let go. Luckily, it was just Penny, Jimmy, and Amelia in the bar at the time. But poor Theo the dog had to run for cover.

“Because you did it when I was standing right next to the bell, Nickie. And you wouldn’t let go,” Lena reminded her son, poking his cheek.

“‘Cause it was fun!”

“Mhmm,” Lena teased her son. Glancing down at his plate, she sighed and set down her utensils. “Nickie, can you try eating some of the vegetables?”

“I don’t want broccoli. It’s gross!”

“What about the carrots then?” Lena tried to negotiate. “If you eat two carrots, we’ll have some ice cream. How about that?”

“Ice cream?” Nickie repeated, perking up instantly.

“Now that sounds like an even trade to me,” Rooster agreed, earning a thankful nod from Lena.

“I think so. Here, we’ll all eat one together.”

Lena and Rooster picked up a carrot each and Nickie begrudgingly followed along. And even though he looked like he hated his life while he chewed on the carrots, Nickie still ate two of them without too much protest. Quickly hopping up when he was done, Nickie turned to his mom.

“Ice cream!”

Lena shot her son a look, earning a sheepish smile in return that definitely came from his dad’s side of the family.

“Please,” Nickie added on at the end.

After Nickie scarfed down a scoop of ice cream, they headed outside. Nickie happily ran around the driveway. Sometimes he would toss a ball to Rooster and sometimes he would shoot it at the small basketball hoop, but Nickie happily entertained himself while on his sugar high. And that left Lena and Rooster some space to catch up on topics that Lena didn’t want Nickie to hear.

“So, is he coming?” Rooster asked, causing Lena to sigh.

“Yes, he’s coming,” she confirmed quietly. “Don’t tell Nickie. He wants to surprise him.”

“Do you need me to leave?”

“No, I told him to come around dinner. He’ll text me when he’s close and ready,” Lena replied, fiddling with her necklace. “But please don’t antagonize him if you see him.”

“It’s usually the other way around.”

“Just please don’t try and make things worse,” Lena sighed, turning to her brother.

“I’m always on my best behavior.”

Lena let out an incredulous laugh that immediately had Rooster rolling his eyes. It was the godawful laugh that Lena always used when he was being an asshole to piss him off even more. He hated it. And he knew that Hangman hated it too. And Bradley guessed that their mom Carole and Maverick hated it as well because it always made them go ghost white when they heard it.

“Oh, you kill me, you really do,” Lena sighed, wiping fake tears away.

~~~~~

Jake knew that as soon as Rooster started up the piano routine, he was going to leave.

He studied the competition, caught up with Javy, and had a nice cold beer for the first time in five months. So, when the chord to the jukebox was pulled, Jake left the Hard Deck.

Hell, if he had it his way, he would have already been with Lena and Nickie, but Jake didn’t get his way.

He didn’t get his way when he was served with divorce papers. He didn’t get his way when Lena moved with Nickie down to San Diego. He didn’t get his way when Lena was awarded primary custody by the courts because he was active-duty.

Jake Seresin just didn’t get his way when it came to Lena Bradshaw.

If Jake had it his way, he would still be married to Lena, living in Lemoore in the house that he handpicked for them, and the damn chicken would mind his fucking business. He would see Nickie every day that he was in the States. Maybe they would have even had a second or third kid by now.

But Jake didn’t get his way.

Pulling up to Lena’s house, Jake headed for the side door. It was unlocked and Jake let himself inside the house. he took a few steps until he saw Lena cooking dinner in the kitchen. She glanced up and smiled when she spotted him.

“Nickie, sweetie, can you come in here for me?” Lena called, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

Nickie walked into Jake’s view from the family room, where he was probably playing with his toys or watching cartoons. Nickie held the coyote plushie—even though Jake was a hundred percent sure that it was actually a wolf—that Javy got him to his chest as he walked over to the kitchen, completely unaware of Jake’s presence.

“Hey, who’s that?” Lena asked Nickie, pointing in Jake’s direction.

Nickie turned around, following his mom’s finger. But when he spotted Jake, his dad who he hadn’t seen in nearly five months, Nickie let out a little delighted gasp and ran over. Jake bent down and caught Nickie as he flung himself forward.

“Daddy!” Nickie yelled out.

“Hey, little man,” Jake called, scooping Nickie up into a tight hug.

Jake held his son to his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Rocking his son back and forth, Jake tried to keep a lid on his own emotions.

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Daddy.”

“God, you’re getting so big,” Jake murmured, mostly to himself, as he brushed Nickie’s hair back.

“Bigger than you!” Nickie stated, sitting up straighter.

“Someday, maybe,” Jake agreed with a light chuckle. “Are you being a good boy for Mommy?”

Nickie nodded quickly with a small, mischievous grin. It was the grin that always popped up when Nickie got caught doing something that he wasn’t supposed to do. It also usually resulted in Lena turning to Jake with an exasperated ‘he gets that from your side of the family’ expression.

“Most of the time,” Lena joked, standing a few steps away.

Jake straightened up a bit more and nodded to his ex-wife with a small smile. He tried to not let his eyes linger on her bare left ring finger and turned to meet her gaze. And even though it had been about seven years since he met Lena Bradshaw—though she was still Lena Seresin in his mind—he still got that same warm feeling crawling up his neck whenever he saw her.

“Lena,” Jake greeted her softly.

“It’s good to see you, Jake,” she returned quietly. “We were just about to eat. Are you hungry?”

“I could definitely eat,” Jake agreed with a nod. “Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“Are you staying all night, Daddy?” Nickie called, redirecting Jake’s attention.

“I don’t think so, Nick,” Jake replied, fixing Nickie’s shirt for him.

“Aw,” Nickie complained, causing both Lena and Jake to wince. “Why not?”

“I’ve got training tomorrow morning. Super early,” Jake explained, not even completely lying.

“Can he stay another night, Mommy?” Nickie asked Lena, causing her to freeze for a moment.

“Yeah, he can stay another night,” she agreed, nodding along. “But let’s eat dinner first, okay?”

They sat around the table as a family. It was times like those that Jake sometimes forgot that they weren’t married anymore. This house wasn’t his home. It wasn’t their home. And well, Jake could never dwell on those feelings anyways. Not without whiskey on hand, anyways. Jake helped Nickie cut the bigger piece of chicken into little bits while Lena placed a scoop of vegetables on Nickie’s plate.

“How was the Hard Deck?” Lena asked, turning to her ex.

“It was fine. Scoped out the competition. Played a little pool. Made an early exit,” Jake replied, causing Lena to nod along. “Maverick got thrown out.”

Lena picked her head up sharply at the news and Nickie started to bounce in his seat at the mention of his great uncle. Though more often than not, Nickie called Maverick something along the lines of ‘Grandpa Mav’ because Maverick was the closest figure to a grandfather that Nickie had. Jake’s parents stopped visiting after the divorce, after all.

“Maverick is in town?” Lena asked Jake quietly.

“He didn’t tell you?” Jake returned, raising an eyebrow.

“No, he didn’t,” Lena stated, shaking her head. “And he got thrown out?”

“He left his phone on the bar and couldn’t pay his tab.”

“I told him not to go there,” Lena sighed, shaking her head.

“And your brother was there too,” Jake replied, causing Lena to reluctantly meet his gaze.

“How was that?” she asked quietly, glancing down at her plate.

“It was how it normally goes,” Jake muttered, causing Lena to wince.

“Daddy, can we watch a movie together? Please!” Nickie asked, grabbing Jake’s arm.

“Yeah, we can watch a movie, Nick. But we have to finish eating first, okay?”

“Okay!”

Jake asked Nickie about how things were going at daycare. Nickie happily told his dad everything that was going on in his life and held onto every single word that Jake spoke about aviation. Lena glanced between her son and Jake, easily picking out the similarities between them. After all, Nickie was quickly growing to look like his dad’s twin.

They eventually cleaned up and Jake settled on the couch with Nickie, who picked out a movie for them to watch. Lena gave them their space and went back to her office to catch up on some work. Lena poked her head out once to remind Jake about Nickie’s bedtime, but Jake was already giving Nickie a bath, so she just went back to work.

Jake came and knocked on the door to her office when it was time to put Nickie to bed. They walked into Nickie’s bedroom together like the divorce was just some bad dream that they already forgot about. Lena pulled back the blankets on Nickie’s bed and stepped aside for Jake.

“Alright, time for bed, Nickie.”

Jake laid Nickie down on his bed and pulled up Nickie’s blankets over him. Tucking Nickie into bed for the night, Jake handed Nickie his coyote plushie and ruffled Nickie’s still wet hair.

“Are you coming back, Daddy?” Nickie asked, causing Jake to nod quickly.

“Yeah, I’m coming back. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” Nickie replied, immediately perking up.

“I love you, Nickie.”

“Love you too, Daddy.”

Nickie sat up and wrapped his little arms around Jake’s neck to hug him. Jake quickly hugged Nickie back and pressed a kiss to Nickie’s head. After holding onto Nickie for a bit longer, Jake reluctantly released his son and stepped aside. Lena walked over, pressed a kiss to Nickie’s head, and told him that she loved him before she and Jake headed out of Nickie’s bedroom.

Carefully shutting the door, Lena waited a moment before she turned to Jake.

“I’m working tomorrow, so if you get out before four, you can pick him up if you want. Just text me,” Lena offered as she and Jake walked towards the door.

“I will if we get out,” Jake replied immediately.

“Do you still have the car seat your truck?”

“Never took it out,” Jake assured her, grabbing his wallet and keys.

“Okay,” she agreed softly, nodding along. Wrapping her arms around herself, Lena nodded to him before stepping to the side. “Goodnight, Jake.”

“Night,” he whispered back, reaching for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” she returned quietly.

Jake nodded to her one last time before taking his leave and heading over to his car. Lena closed the door behind him and locked it for the night. Watching Jake’s truck drive off into the night, Lena sighed and leaned on the door, resting her head against the wood.

“Talk to me, Mom,” she murmured, glancing up at the ceiling with a conflicted expression. “What do I do?”

Part 2 Part 3

[milliemuus]

Possible future stuff (just a snippet ;) ):

Dokutaro: ‘No…no! Impossible! How is my power core destroyed?!’

Kieran: Wait, his colour’s weird, this means, maybe we have a chance now? If so, then…

Ogerpon: *angrily growls while bringing out her cudgel*

Kieran: *puts his hand, blocking Ogerpon* *with rage* No,I’ll take care of this.

*Grabs Dokutaro’s neck while the True Finale starts*

Kieran:

Who are you… To think that could prevail? For all the sins you’ve done, You'll fall on your face and FAIL!!!! Now then! And In The Final hour our HOPE STILL SHINES!! BLINDING THE DARKEST OF NIGHTS… IN THE FINAL… FIGHT!!

AND THERE’S NO WAY THAT YOU’LL EVER BEAT US!!! YES, WE’RE STILL IN OUR PRIME! YOUR OWN END IS NIGH, IT’S TIME WE FLY HIGH!!

You’ll never harm anyone again Like the runt you were, You may have possessed me and and made me harm my family! But when YOU harm my friends?! You're asking for a Kieran smacking! One single KO punch, Will send you sorry runt a-packing!

*Finally, in a fit of rage, Kieran mustered up all his strength, and punched Dokutaro, sending him flying in the air. Finally the second attack is over, but it truly was a Grand Finale*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(v) PV! Pecharunt: And that’s how I got my ass handed by my Kieran.

@tealmaskmybeloved Pecharunt: *grimaced* sheesh, I hope you’re alright.

S&S Dipplins Pecharunt: Now you’re making me feel that I got off easy…

Azure Dive Pecharunt: *curious* Really? What happened?

S&S Dipplins Pecharunt: Well, let’s just say my Kieran was AN ABSOLUTE SIMP, somehow, his simping was able to shrug off my possession for a short while, but it’s really tiring, ugh, I’m SO TIRED…*internally screaming*

Azure Dive Pecharunt: ohhhh, that sounds really annoying to deal with.

(so, ANOTHER IDEA, AND A SNIPPET OF THE PECHAS. So, you said most of your stuff is inspired by BIS, so another lyrical stuff by Juno Songs (credits to him) for Kieran in the Key Change segment. Also, I changed a few things to fit the context)

(and this could be a sequel’s ending since, the final battle is sort of discussed already)

(so maybe?)

(Also, opportunity for the Pechas to interact :), also if S&S Dipplins Pecharunt confusing you, you can go to @dipplinduo and see the asks, he’s the author of the fanfic)

I LOVE THIS IDEA! I'M FINALLY GETTING TO ANSWER BUT I RLLY NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG! I'VE BEEN Listening to the actual BIS soundtrack, and smth funny I've been thinkin abt is a mario-rpg style thing of Project Venus.

So, you know how in BIS the music changes depending on whether you are bowser or the brothers? Esp inside bowser? I wanna make themes based off the inside bowser themes for Kitakami, BB Academy, Area Zero, etc for PV!Kieran, since his POV is technically warped. Like when we first meet him, it's obvs gonna be normal, but it slowly but surely settles in as time goes on because I wanna say there's a side episode of him training (Like Bowser Jrs Journey was a side episode)

I'd love for everyone's Pechas to interact! I'm a bit intimidated even tho I'm mutuals with both dipplinduo (I believe) and I am definitely mutuals with tealmaskmybeloved!

However, I don't think I've heard much abt Azure Dive, but I hella love the name 👀

I wanna find out more abt them, though! I don't see them on my tl much and I get busy, but I'd love if you told me a buncha stuff, if you'd like to! You're definitely not obligated to, by any means!

Also, I'm very sure that PV!Pecha wpuld get the walloping if a lifetime for sure! Maybe not just by Kieran himself, but by Kieran's ancestor, too 😭

In fact, I think that's what I want PVs Mochi Mayhem to be about! Uncovering Pecharunt and Kieran and Carmine's ancestry with Eustace (The Mask Maker) and the sealed curse that Pecharunt has him under! Ooooghh, givin me so many ideas...

[electrozeistyking]

I am so incredibly curious about N and Uzi before…. N had to kill her…

What was life like as a married drone couple? How did they do their wedding? How awkward was the conversation about having a kid?

I’m also curious about V in this AU, what are her thoughts on all that’s going on… N killing Uzi, N having a kid, N being fricken’ depressed… She was a broken individual in the canon, is she still just as broken here? Has she healed from all that the solver’s but her through?

sorry for the many questions, but as an obsessive individual you have crafted the perfect thing for me to obsess over and i am dying for more content lol.

p.s. are there more fics to come? Ik ya only have the one prologue rn, are more chapters on their way?

Hey, no need to apologize for being curious! I quite like the amount of questions! Tells me you're interested in the AU, y'know? Anyway, let me dig up some old notes!

These aren't the full notes, though. A lot was cut, especially if they involved spoilers and/or if they made this go on for too long.

Everything was as fine as it could possibly be on this frozen, toxic exoplanet. Hell, this stretch of fine-ness went on long enough that one of them decided to propose to the other.

And by one of them, I mean Uzi. 

This is based on some observations (aka the hand holding thing in Episode 6), but N was a major fucking dork when V asked him if he was thinking about proposing to Uzi — y’know, saying things like “I don’t know if I should” and “maybe she doesn’t want to go that far” and “maybe we’re fine as is?”

Then meanwhile Uzi’s been drawing up plans on how the hell she’s going to propose to this tall ass robot.

In the end, she kinda threw it all to the wind and decided to do so with no big events or plans or anything. She kinda panicked, though, so she said “Do you wanna marry me?” instead of “Will you marry me?”

N nearly short-circuited trying to say yes. He was kind of having a “Oh my goodness, this is happening????” moment and a “OH SHE DOES WANT TO GO THAT FAR” moment at the exact same time, so something may have literally sparked.

[...] there was a funny period of time where the duo kept very suddenly realizing they’re married, like it didn’t actually sink in until that moment. 

In fact, N exclaimed “oh my goodness” and leaned against something every time it occurred to him.

Unfortunately, the good fluffy times couldn’t last forever. 

You see, one way or another, our beloved robotic dorks somehow found themselves on the topic of having a kid. The conversation itself was fine, if slightly awkward at first (what with N being unsure he’d be good at parenting, anyway). However, just as they reached the peak of “hey, would they be more disassembler or more worker” jokes, Uzi started coughing. 

Which is not normal for any kind of drone. Unless they accidentally swallow something wrong, or if the air’s a bit too thick for whatever reason, drones don’t cough for seemingly no reason. And yet, despite how odd it was, both of them tried to brush it off.

In a brilliant moment of jumping to conclusions (even if they’re the right ones), Uzi realized that The Solver was trying to take over her body.

In a panic, N tried to help any way he could, but felt like he was doing nothing in the process. Uzi just kept getting worse, and every time they landed up empty-handed, the thought he was failing her stung even more. 

V tried to help as well, out of fear over what that thing would do if It took over (and because she did think of Uzi as a friend, even if she’d never admit it to her face).

When The Solver started hijacking her body during one such search to find a way to stop It, Uzi realized it was all over for her. 

Whatever this thing was — whatever It wanted — wasn’t good. And so, in a moment of desperation and panic, she came up with a plan to destroy It. Hopefully, if everything worked in their favour, It’d be gone once and for all.

Of course, its success banked on N’s cooperation. Since V split off from the duo this time, he was the only disassembly drone who could possibly carry it out. Predictably, he tried to decline at first, seeing as the plan was to kill Uzi and destroy her core.

However, when Uzi explained that this was the only way to get rid of this fucking thing, N reluctantly agreed. Despite being incredibly painful, he brought out his laser gun (which is what I think it is, shut up) and the couple had one last heartfelt goodbye.

But then, just as N went to shoot her, the laser turned an awful shade red he’s never seen before and started malfunctioning — something that’s supposed to rarely ever happen. N panicked, calling out Uzi’s name... right before the weapon exploded.

V felt the vibrations of the explosion from where she stood and immediately rushed to N and Uzi’s location. She assumed that something went wrong, but what she saw was not what she expected.

Uzi was dead. 

There was a Fatal Error message on her visor, as clear as day. She was in multiple pieces, with a hole in her chest right where her core was supposed to be — having most likely imploded, thanks in part to The AbsoluteSolver’s weirdness.

While N was alive, his body was in rough shape. He’d been split in two due to the blast, and his chest had been cracked wide open. Judging from how dark smoke billowed from where one of his hands should’ve been, something had gone completely wrong. 

But how? There was a very small chance their weapons could malfunction, and yet... what the fuck happened?

V chose not to dwell on it too long. N’s body wasn’t regenerating on its own fast enough for some reason, and he was losing a shit ton of oil at an alarming rate. 

Fuelled by pure adrenaline, V somehow managed to carry both of N’s halves and all of Uzi’s pieces back to the Outpost.

[kimbappykidding]

Other Parts: Part One, Part Two and Part Four.

V felt better than he had in a long time. He had a clear goal in mind and that gave him purpose and a reason to wake up in the morning. You. He knew now the future he wanted involved you and while that future was not guaranteed it gave him something to work for.

The first thing he did was cut out all his crutches, the booze the girls and everything in between. He didn't put anything in his body that he shouldn't and he immediately started feeling the benefits. Next, he started taking work more seriously. He began exercising to get his stamina back up to what it could be and went with Jimin to his vocal coaching appointments. He was on time at work and stayed late whenever he needed to. About a month in RM commented on V's progress and V thanked him but he wouldn't feel proud until you noticed the change in him.

Now his life was more stable he started working on himself. He started talking to a counsellor about his worries and struggles and she helped him come up with healthier mechanisms. He got checked out to make sure all the partying and sex hadn't affected his health or made him catch anything and felt so reassured when all his tests came back clean. He started examining his friendships and any that weren't okay with him taking a healthier approach to his life, he cut off. The guys in particular seemed happy when he told them he wasn't hanging around with that crowd anymore and he realised his members had been through a lot too.

He saw his family more and made sure to spend time with his mum in particular. He went home for her birthday for the first time since he'd broken up with you and she burst into tears when she saw him. He had no idea she'd missed him that much and promised to visit her more which just made her cry even more. Of all the things he'd done, this was what you noticed first.

When you came off hiatus you decided to just pretend V didn't exist so didn't look in his direction at any events and were hypervigilant about anything BTS. However, on your private Instagram, you could look at what you wanted and you'd seen the video on V's mum's Instagram of V surprising her for her birthday and were pleased. She was so happy to have her son back and he stayed with her for several days which was nice. V looked healthier in the photos and you couldn't help but notice that all his family members had alcohol but he clearly had a bottle of water instead. You had no idea if it was just a coincidence or not. You remembered what V had said at the end of his apology text about wanting to become a better person if you wanted him. Was this what he meant?

You were curious and so you asked your members what V was doing and they reported he'd dropped his toxic friends and they hadn't seen him at a nightclub in weeks. "Apparently he's performing better too" Yuqi said "my friend at Hybe said he's working hard to be a better idol and is always practising, exercising or rehearsing. They think he's turned over a new leaf but I'll believe it when I see it". "Or when it actually lasts long term" Soyeon said "he could easily revert back to his old ways". You nodded along but were a mixture of confused and dare you say excited? This must be the change V meant and if he did pull it off...well then you might think differently about letting him into your life again.

"Why?" Minnie asked noticing your frown and you shook your head "no reason". That convinced nobody. Soyeon narrowed her eyes at you and Yuqi shook her head "no come on, what's the reason?". You shook your head "nothing just...V said something to me after that video was leaked and I was wondering if he really meant it". The girls were SO curious so you showed them the text and were met with silence. "So you think...he's serious?" Shuhua asked cautiously "that he's changing like he promised?". You shrugged "I don't know...maybe?". "Do you want him to?" Soojin asked and you frowned "I don't know! Am I an idiot if I do?". "No!" Miyeon said "not at all!" and the girls all echoed her except Yuqi. She was the most straight-talking of the members so you looked at her and called her name. "Yuqi, what do you think?" you asked. She looked down and then up at you. "I don't know, part of me wants to just bundle you up and take you away from him because he does not deserve a second chance and I don't want you to get hurt if he reverts back to his usual ways". "So you think I shouldn't get my hopes up?" you asked and Yuqi shook her head "not at all and I think he's definitely doing all this for you". "You do?" you asked and Yuqi nodded "100% but I just hope it lasts. I think you need to give him time to mess up honestly. I'm worried he'll break your heart again if you go back to him now". You blinked "woah Yuqi I'm not planning to go back to him now". "You're not?" she asked with a hint of relief in her voice and you shook your head "god no! I was just checking if there were any reasons to hope this might be a good sign". Yuqi smiled "there's always a reason to hope, we'll keep an eye out for signs for you" and the girls all rushed to agree. "Thank you" you smiled at them "I promise I won't rush into anything" and from how tightly they all hugged you, you knew they all felt like Yuqi. They didn't want to see you hurt, you just hoped you'd be able to protect yourself better than last time.

V felt like his life was finally on track again but he reminded himself he couldn't expect you to suddenly come rushing to him. You might not actually be interested in his anymore or the damage might've already been done. He might've destroyed your trust in him and you needed solid proof before you were ready. Or maybe there was someone else or you were taking a break from dating after that leaked video nearly wrecked your career. There were so many reasons why you could be hesitating and V couldn't get ahead of himself. So he kept his head down and just carried on but some of your joint friends had different ideas.

Kai had noticed the changes in V majorly and he also knew about the text he'd sent you. At first, he was angry. Did V really think not sleeping with tons of girls and stopping putting toxins in his body for a few weeks would make things okay? He hoped you wouldn't fall for it and had his obligatory "he's not good enough for you" friend speech ready but he didn't need it. You didn't mention V and everything seemed to be okay...but then Kai started believing it. He'd known V for a while and heard a lot about him through Jimin and despite everything he didn't think V was a calculating person. He knew how to play the game and act when he had to but he wasn't malicious...so was this change real?

One day when he was hanging out with Jimin he "casually" asked how V was. Jimin looked at Kai almost questioningly and then nodded "he's good". "How good?" Kai asked "just the news has been really quiet about him lately. Is he on hiatus or something?". Jimin shook his head "no that's been all V, he's been a different person lately and all that's behind him". Kai snorted "yeah sure!" Kai smirked and Jimin shook his head "it's true!". "Jimin, I know he's your member but come on, I've seen him on a night out. Guys like that don't change". Kai didn't mean what he said but he wanted to prod Jimin into spilling more and it worked.

"Well you clearly don't know him and are judging him like everyone else!" Jimin burst and Kai held up his hands "calm down, no need to get mad". Jimin nodded "I know but he's been working really hard lately. It's not just his health and his worth ethic which he's taken charge of. He's repairing family relationships, he cut out bad friends who use him and he's talking to someone about the pressure and stress we're under! He's doing so well Kai and I don't care if you run and tell Y/n or not but he's doing amazing and I'm so proud of him". Kai nodded "you should be, it sounds like he's doing great". Jimin nodded taking a breath and after he'd calmed a little changed the subject but V stayed on Kai's mind the rest of the day.

Kai watched V even closer and recruited his members to also watch him and report back anything bad they'd heard but there wasn't much of that except a small bit from Sehun. "Binna is pissed at him" he excitedly said one day, taking to his detective role very happily. "Why?" Baekhyun asked "because he broke up with her?". Sehun nodded "apparently he'd ended things with her lots of time before" he said, doing air quotes when he said ended "but they always got back together or well Binna could find some way to convince him to carry on but not this time. According to my source, she's tried everything even showing up at his apartment in the middle of the night wearing nothing under her coat. He wouldn't even open the door to her and when she wouldn't leave he called her members to come get her. Apparently she went kicking and screaming". "Wow" Kai said "that must've been horrible for him" and all the guys nodded. "Are you going to tell Y/n?" Chanyeol asked and Kai noddded "I think I have to, I know she still cares about him and if he really has changed then I think he could make her happy". "Yeah and if he doesn't she knows we'll all kill him right?" D.O. asked and Kai smiled "I will make that crystal clear.

Kai did exactly that. He sat you down one day and explained why he thought you might just be able to listen to what V said. He warned you he'd only been watching him for 2 months so it might not be long term but so far it was looking good. "I'm not telling you this to tell you to get back with him" Kai said "just so you've got all the information. I'd considered keeping it from you but knew I couldn't do that. I want to protect you but I also want you to be happy and V might be able to do that". You got goosebumps as Kai said that and nodded "I've been watching him too, it looks good right?". Kai smiled "it really does" and you both exchanged things you'd noticed and were pleased with. "Okay so what do I do next?" you asked and when Kai hesitated you smiled "and I don't mean romantically. That's in the back of my mind but I want to start off as friends first. So how do you think I do that?". Kai smiled "leave it to me".

"Okay" Kai said the next time he saw Jimin "what would you say if I told you Y/n was open to being friends with V again". Jimin's huge eyes got even wider "WHAT!" he cried "she said that? She's open to him? This is amazing!". Kai held up his hands "calm down, I'm just feeling things out". "But you must think she's open to it if you're asking me" Jimin pointed out. Kai nodded "we've both noticed the changes in V's behaviour and they've seemed pretty consistent...and that is the only reason I am encouraging this" Kai said "if I thought for a second V was trying to trick or deceive Y/n..." Kai started but Jimin shook his head "he's not Kai. Trust me, I like Y/n and don't want to see her hurt. If I thought he wasn't serious I would tell you to put her off but he's deadly serious. He's had laser focus and it's really impressive". Kai nodded "okay great, so how do we do this? Y/n is open but also nervous". Jimin frowned "would she be okay if V messaged her or should we do something a little more organic?". Kai nodded "I like your thinking, what are you doing next Saturday?".

Chanyeol's birthday party was pretty low-key to say how popular the stunning rapper was but he liked it that way. However, lowkey for an idol meant a party with 100 people and so Kai managed to get two tickets for Jimin and V to attend. He'd checked with you in advance and you were okay with it and actually a little excited. Even though you were definitely coming at this from a friendship perspective, you still dressed extra nicely tonight knowing V would be here. Kai was probably more nervous than you and with two good reasons 1. he had helped organise this so if V hurt you it would be his fault and 2. Yuqi had threatened to kick his ass if no.1 happened. So Kai was fluttering around you nervously when he saw V enter.

You hadn't noticed, too busy chatting to NCT's Johnny and Kai was unsure if he should warn you or not. V saw him watching him and gave him a small nod which Kai returned. Kai took a seat next to you and you could just tell from the look on his face V was here. Sure enough, when you searched you found him. He was at the bar with Jimin but he didn't order anything. He looked nothing like the last few times you'd seen him. Before he'd either been cocky and smug or emotional and frantic. This time he seemed softer, you watched him smile at something Jimin said and nod to some Red Velvet members who passed him. You looked down, worried he'd look up and see you watching him and felt a little flushed. You reminded yourself the whole point of V being here tonight was so you could talk to him and wondered how you'd do that.

Luckily it happened pretty casually. You were walking with NCT's Doyoung and Jeno when Jeno saw Jimin and rushed to hug him. Jeno had apparently met Jimin years ago at some event before he was an idol and they'd remained friends. Doyoung also went over to greet Jimin and V. You followed and smiled at Jimin before looking at V. He was staring at you a little and looked almost stunned you were in front of him but he quickly smiled and bowed to you. He said a polite hello to everyone and the conversation continued. You let Jimin and Jeno talk before looking back at V. He caught your eye and smiled "I liked your latest comeback" he said softly. You smiled "thank you, it was a lot of work but it turned out well". He nodded "I can imagine it was, the concept was so cool and the routine looked really difficult". You nodded "it was, I still don't think my thighs have recovered" and V laughed. You liked the sound of his laugh and smiled a genuine smile. V noticed and paused "would you like to go have a chat? I'd love to catch up on how work and stuff is going?" and you nodded.

The two of you talked for about half an hour and it was a little awkward but sweet. V was careful with you and you could tell the effort he was putting in. He'd clearly remembered everything you liked when you were together and when he asked about your favourite sports team you had to smile. "I thought about you when they won" he admitted and you did blush a little at that. He asked you tons of questions and watched you answer with his attention fully fixed on you. You could see Kai and your members watching you nervously so decided to wrap things up before anything could go wrong. "Yeah of course!" V said "it's been so nice speaking to you, would it be okay if I texted you?" he asked and you nodded "yeah I'd like that" and V smiled.

So after that, the two of you were in contact. It started off slowly, exchanging polite conversations and funny photos before it got more casual and evolved into meeting up. The two of you had to be super careful not to be photographed together but V always made sure you came first and were comfortable with where you wanted to go. You went to all your old hangouts and also lots of new ones. V commented on how much you'd grown since you'd last been friendly and you did feel proud. You weren't the same person as before and had matured so much...the same could be said for V. He was different not only from when you last new him but also from the sex-obsessed party boy you'd come to know him as. He explained to you what some of these changes involved and how he'd given up the drink and other addictive substances. He admitted he didn't know who he was in those times and how he enjoyed his life a lot more now. You were so happy to hear that and had noticed a huge difference in him but didn't really know what to do from here.

You'd told Kai you just wanted to get to know V as friends and you'd done that. You'd sussed him out and liked what you saw but what now? You were terrified to take the next step even though on paper everything was straightforward. V was stable, healthy and in a place for commitment. You still had great chemistry and had never stopped finding him attractive. You felt great when you were around him and found yourself missing him when you didn't get to see him for a bit. So why couldn't you just tell him you wanted him?

It was really bothering you and V noticed you seemed more anxious than usual so he asked you why and it all spilled out. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" you admitted "everything is perfect but something's making me hold back". V shook his head "nothing's wrong with you Y/n, I hurt you really badly several times so of course you've learnt to be cautious around me and it's not in your nature to jump into something with me". You frowned "I know but I figured if I spent time with you that fear would go and it hasn't! We've been hanging out for nearly 3 months now and I'm still wary of going any further. The attraction isn't the issue either, I like you and I want you I just can't" you said exasperated. V nodded and patted your hand "Y/n it's okay, you don't need to blame yourself. The problem is clearly me and something you're not getting from me so think, what do you need me to do?" V asked "seriously just tell me and I'll do it". "V it's not that simple" you sighed but he shook his head "no it is, you tell me absolutely anything you need from me and I'll do it to prove how serious about you I am". You shook your head "I want there to be something, some act that can make it all better but I don't know V...I'm not sure if there's anything that can reassure me enough. I'm too nervous and scared about the whole thing".

That broke V's heart. "I never want to make you upset" he said and you smiled sadly "and you haven't, these past months have been so nice and I'm really glad you're back in my life...I just don't know if it was wise. I feel like it's made us both want each other and I didn't want to give you false hope but I just don't know what you could possibly do to prove it all to me". V nodded "I understand, can I still see you?" he asked "or do you think that would be too painful for you?". You shook your head "I don't want to lose you V just maybe we'll need a break for a bit. If I see you right now it's just going to remind me of what I can't have and that will just make me upset and depressed". V nodded "okay I respect that, if you think of anything I can do though can you let me know?". You hesitated before nodding "I can't think of anything that would prove to me how serious about all of this you are but of course yeah, if I think of anything I'll tell you".

You parted ways quickly after that with heavy hearts and V was wracking his brains of ways he could fix this. What you said last to him stuck in his mind. He gave it a few days and when his mind still didn't change he decided to go for it. It was the riskiest thing he'd ever done but if it showed you how serious about you he was, it would all be worth it.

V set up his phone and purposefully chose a room in the studio that locked. He'd vaguely told the staff he was going live but left it at that so technically he never lied to them about what he was going to do.

He quickly greeted fans after he went live and then got to the point. "So I know this in unplanned but I'm here today because I've got something I need to confess. The truth is, I'm in love with Y/n from G-(I)dle" V said. He felt the atmosphere change even though it was a virtual medium and knew this was monumental but kept going. "We dated for 3 years and broke up 5 years ago because I wasn't a good boyfriend. I was immature, unsupportive and wasn't happy having one amazing girl. Y/n put up with me for way longer than she deserved" V said as a member of staff tried the locked door. "When she ended it with me I was happy because it was the excuse I needed to sleep with any girl I wanted but I now realise it was the worst moment of my life. Y/n was an amazing girlfriend, she was caring, thoughtful and made me feel like I could do anything. She loved me more than I even knew was possible and with her I just felt at home" V said smiling slightly at the memory before his smile vanished "but then I ruined everything" he said. "I'm telling you all this because some of you have taken it upon yourselves to abuse Y/n for dating me. I'm telling you all if you want a villain, it's me. I started that argument you all saw with Y/n because I was selfish and wanted her to come back and save me after all I'd put her through. I was a jerk but I wasn't the one put on hiatus or punished and anyone who harassed her is not a true fan of mine" he said shaking his head in anger. The person trying to get in started knocking on the door getting louder and louder and V sighed "I'll be cut off soon but I wanted you all to know. I love Y/n and will never love anyone else like I love her. She is the greatest person I know and I would give up everything, all of this" he said gesturing around the room "for her...because she's really that special and I wanted you all to know that".

He ended the stream and opened the door, ready to face the consequences.

[tixdixl]

"Happy 100th Anniversary" - Oisín's Platinum Jacket Vignette P1

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Oisín: […the exclusive exhibit should be coming up here soon…To think they would be including artwork inspired by folklore beyond the Great Seven is really surprising.]

Oisín: [OwO oh! It really is here. Look at that, in the flesh~!]

Oisín: [Of course, they would depict the Headless Horseman accosting his newest prey. He truly looks dignified and powerful in comparison to the human man.]

???: I see you’re taking your time lingering on this one. I can’t say I find it too surprising that you would, with all due respect. 

Oisín turns to acknowledge the other student.

Riddle: What caught your eye? The way he commands his domain? The connection and synchronicity between himself and his steed?

Oisín: [!]

Oisín: [Forgive my bluntness, I wouldn’t have expected you to take note of the dynamic with his nightmare. You have always had a keen eye for detail, but I thought you’d be more interested in the rider.]

Riddle: Oh, believe me. I am! However, any skilled rider would know to pay attention to the behavior and mannerisms of the horse. An unruly horse can clearly be identified in the beast before it even refuses a command. But if the horse is in tune with its rider and has an established respect, you will be able to see that in the way it interacts alongside its owner. 

Riddle: I imagine this is probably new information for you, isn’t it, Oisín?

Oisín: [...]

Oisín: [Actually… uh… you might find this surprising to hear, but… I’ve spent quite a bit of time with equestrian creatures. ^^; ]

Riddle, looking shocked: Really? Well, that certainly is a surprise to hear. As far as I’m aware, you’ve never set foot near the Equestrian Club.

Riddle, smiling: You have me curious, what sorts of experiences have you had with horses? For someone as unpredictable as you are, I’d half expect you not to get along with them.

Oisín: [-_- ….right.]

Oisín: [•v• …to be honest, I’d had my boys, Phobos and Deimos for a long time. They lived very very fulfilling lives. Full of activity and work.]

Riddle: Quite regal names! Powerful and dark, and I can imagine they had quite the personalities to match. 

Oisín: [They did, yes. But they were probably the most excellent nightmares I could have ever worked with–]

Riddle: Oh, they were Nightmares?! I’ve read a bit about them, but I always assumed they were simply creatures of myth.

Oisín: [UwU Nope! Nightmares are very alive and well in the plains of Briar Valley. Though likely hard to spot and arguably harder to tame, they do roam freely in herds.]

Riddle: Are they largely feral? I’ve only ever seen herds of domesticated horses here and in the Queendom of Roses. 

Oisín: [I mean… UwU do you really think we could domesticate an entire species of fae?]

Riddle, irritated sweat drop: Fair point.

Riddle: I’m curious, did you tame yours yourself then? 

Oisín: [^^; No, they were actually gifted to me a very long time ago by someone important to me. Phobos and Deimos do come from a rare sub-breed of domesticated nightmares. They were bred with the very specific purpose of being work nightmares. The only real flaw at the time was that they had grown up as a bonded pair, so separating them was quite frankly out of the question. Not that I ever complained though; I couldn’t imagine a life without the two of them together honestly.]

Riddle: When did you get them?

Oisín: [Oh, a long time ago now. But I got them when they were still young. Lively and full of spite, to be quite honest. The day that they were gifted to me, Deimos nearly kicked me in the chest. He kept bucking and whinnying and hopping around, like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Also nearly caught the field on fire with his mane and tail, thrashing around everywhere. Honestly, I was just really fortunate that there happened to be a couple of fuaths in the nearby river. They helped keep the flames at bay, at least until we got him to calm down. ^^;] 

Riddle: Oh dear, well I’m certainly glad to hear that it didn’t result in any sort of wildfire! Did anyone get hurt?

Oisín: [Fortunately, no. Not seriously, at least. And to be completely honest, the best part of the entire thing was the cooked fish we got out of it. Can’t say the boys were too happy, but my caretakers and I ended up having a laugh about it after the fact.]

Riddle: …

Riddle: Wait, I remember reading somewhere that Nightmares, like other fae like creatures, can live for centuries. How long did you have them?

Oisín: [OwO You know, Mr. Rosehearts, some questions are better left unanswered.]

~~~

Part 2

Part 3

Tag list: @ramshacklerumble @rainesol @elenauaurs @starry-night-rose @boopshoops

@cyanide-latte @blithesharem @theleechyskrunkly @thehollowwriter @inmateofthemind

@lumdays @the-trinket-witch @twstinginthewind

Lmk if you want added/removed

[ihatesocialmedia45]

Chapter 14: Push Comes to Pull (Comes to Shove)

Ashley's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_2DLs478cw Dr. Rangel's Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyNpG8E9PCE&t=1687s "Am I... a Fetish to You?": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QpyPI2fAEE

Stan walked the halls of Vought with a determined step, irritation flickering across the placid expanse of his eyes. Throngs of Vought personnel parted as he approached, as though he were a glacier, and they the waves that broke against him. 

The woman.

After that disastrous therapy meeting with Rangel, Stan had went to work, his normally composed demeanor crumbling in the face of the notes. To the untrained eye, he'd looked a bit distracted, maybe even slightly ruffled... but inside the CEO's head, a whirlwind brewed, dark and tumultuous. He'd humored her up till now, expecting Homelander would lose interest with her doe-eyed facade... but it had been three months since their meeting. Homelander seemed just as besotted as he'd been in January, and gave no indication that he would change course. She would have to go - but to plot her removal would require all of his cunning. Everything Homelander had ever let go of was marred with claw marks.

Stan entered his office, poring over the same mountain of documents he'd complied on the woman at the start of this fiasco - but now, a new addition to the record stood proudly atop the pile. This, Stan thought, was the lynchpin that might finally break her hold on him. Everyone had leverage that could be used against them; this woman was not special.

It was true that she had no ulterior motives for romancing Homelander. She had no connections to rival corporations, and no need for his money - for she didn't seem to care for it. Her biggest aspiration, it seemed, was to open a consignment shop and sell knick-knacks. Stan snorted; she'd have an uphill battle, trying to convince Homelander to trade in his life of celebrity for working behind a counter in a humble shop - outside of New York, no less.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, Stan shook his head. She was too smart for that; if anything, she'd likely be content to watch Homelander flourish, while she worked quietly in the background. 

Hell. It was exactly the dynamic the man-child would think he'd needed.

He'd scheduled a meeting with Homelander this afternoon, where he'd lay everything he'd gathered on the woman plainly, and let him judge for himself if she was truly worthy of his time. That was what Homelander thrived on - and what he sought from Stan, above all else; the illusion of equal footing. In actuality, Homelander was more of a boy to Stan than the Supe realized; that truth, however ugly its implications may be to him, would be his saving grace now - and hopefully the domino that would set in motion the woman's permanent removal from the Vought Family.

Ashley watched from outside the Seven's meeting room with a curious air about her; ever since Homelander and the woman had agreed to participate in the group sessions with Rangel, she'd been asked by Stan, and the rest of the Supes, she thought, frowning, to make trips to other parts of the building during their hour with Therese; check in on Crime Analytics, to ensure things were running smoothly. Pick up invoices from Finance - there was reason to suspect embezzlement on one of their employee's fronts. Even head meetings with some of their sister companies - today, she was scheduled to lead a meeting with Vought France, to oversee the construction details of their newest building there. A few months ago, Ashley would have been delighted with the tasks; she would have seen it as the next step in Stan's plans to forge her into the next CEO. Now, she knew better; they were keeping her out of the way, while the grownups talked.

She was more than capable of sitting in on a damn therapy session, she seethed inwardly. Stan - and the Seven - just didn't think she was important enough to be there. All of her work at the company, all of her sacrifices, and instances of saving them from PR disasters... it meant nothing to them, it seemed. And she couldn't even quit - she knew too much to survive a resignation. Even A-Train had sided with the rest of the team when she'd complained.

"Come on, Ashley," he'd sighed, running a hand through his hair. He'd kept his glasses on, even though they were indoors; she'd always hated that. She couldn't see the minute tightening of his eyes behind the dark, reflective material - only her own face, drawn tight and pinched, with worry. "What - do you think they're moving you out? That we have some other, new Ashley, ready to take your place? Stan probably just doesn't want to have to replace you, in case Homelander goes on one and starts lasering. None of us want that. It's about keeping you safe. We need you - you know this."

Ashley closed her eyes as he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. As badly as she wanted to... she couldn't find true solace in his words. A-Train was a smooth talker - and a good one, at that. But she'd seen behind the mask, once - at least, she thought she had. She remembered consoling him when he thought that Vought was pushing him out of the Seven, holding him in her arms as his body wracked with quiet sobs. She'd been there for him, and now that the roles were reversed... a sour look crossed her face. She'd been naive to trust him - to think that her solidarity meant anything, when put up against the allure of fame and status.

"Fuck you," she'd hissed at him, jerking her head away. "You know damn well that's not what this is. And you don't care!" Now A-Train's face had soured.

"You used to get my fucking coffee; you don't talk to me like that!" 

"And now I schedule your doctor's appointments, to make sure you don't fucking overdose on V, you damn junkie!"

A-Train's countenance darkened - but Ashley only smiled, the flatness in her eyes like the sharp edge of a paper. "What?" she asked, cocking her head. "It's not like they'll fire me."

This had been an exhausting start to the year, Deep thought. Homelander's girlfriend - that was weird to think about - had moved in almost overnight it felt, and the rest of the Seven could little but watch on in wary acceptance. He'd moved her furniture in, even; Kevin had seen Homelander through the window one night, flying in to Vought with what looked like a deep cushioned couch, and a giant suitcase, full of all the woman's things - all while she hung from his back, whispering and giggling in his ear.

If it had been anyone else, Deep would have called them whipped. He thought it of Homelander, too - but he quite liked the idea of his insides not becoming his outsides, so he stayed quiet. After all, what was the saying? Happy unhinged ruler, happy life? Yeah, that sounded right.

Now she was even a part of the therapy meetings, he thought, holding back a sigh. Even he knew that that was a poor choice - but Stan had meant it when he'd said she was a part of the Vought Family... and so, there she was, hip to hip with Homelander, holding his hand and looking unto his eyes like they might start Frenching, right in front of everyone.

When the woman had first joined, Maeve and Sage had said it would be the perfect time to analyze her - gauge her reactions to therapy, record her answers. It seemed to complicated of an investigation to get into - and what was the point, really? They knew she was crazy, and they knew she had Homelander's heart. There didn't seem to be much they could do. Deep thought at least Maeve might understand his resignation; after all, she was the poster child for giving up. But she'd fixed him with that sharp glare - how she'd managed, he didn't know; she was hitting the bottle early again - and told him that as long as this woman was here, it meant that Homelander was even more unpredictable than usual. It was in their best interests to figure her out, and get her out. 

"Think about it, Kevin," she'd said. "There has never been a time where Homelander has fallen in love, and it hasn't backfired on him - and the rest of us. It's only a matter of time before we find out what she really wants, and we use it against her."

He'd rolled his eyes. "You saw her at Voughtland, though! 'I think you'd better let me get back to him' ? We offered her everything! Money, an escape - she wouldn't bite! And," he said, the meeting they'd had fresh in his mind, "Stan told you to stop making plans without his say-so!"

Maeve nodded, her eyes dulling in the face of Deep's retort. He'd felt a surge of pride blossom in his chest. He could make valid points. 

But Sage had stepped in after that, fixing him with her own look of calm determination. " We're not 'making plans', " she'd said, voice dangerous. "You do not spread that. Do you hear me?"

Deep nodded, all former bravado gone. Sage looked him over, before giving a derisive nod in turn.

"And as for Voughtland.. that just meant  we didn't have what she wanted. But that doesn't mean we won't find it."

They'd set off then for therapy, leaving Deep to stew - but still, the thought nagged at him. What if they weren't finding what the woman wanted... because she'd already gotten it?

The Seven sat in a circle, while Dr. Rangel listed off the agenda for their current session; Starlight had suggested art therapy, to which the rest of the team had agreed - and so she'd brought easels and paints with her to this session, and watched, almost maternal in her gaze, as they'd looked to her for further instruction. 

"There are no rules for this session, in regards to these pieces. Simply paint what you wish, and we'll share in about 30 minutes," Rangel had told them. She'd moved to the side while the team got to work, and read up on her files.

It had honestly come as a surprise that Homelander and the woman had decided to join them for group therapy, she'd reflected, watching the two with quiet distaste. They clearly had no intentions of taking therapy seriously, something she knew might negatively impact the rest of the team's growth... but Homelander himself had insisted, marching into her office - the woman in tow, of course - and stating that as leader of The Seven, it was only right that he be there to oversee their sessions. She'd raised a brow, but humored him, remembering Stan's insights on the Supe. Homelander thrived on getting his way - but it was more prudent to let him believe he'd won his way into it. So she'd feigned arguing, and let him talk her into inviting him.

Now, she wasn't sure if her decision was the right one; from the first session, they'd instantly made a mess of the environment she'd crafted with the rest of the Seven. Homelander snarked at everyone the moment they opened up - mocking Deep for using his real name in session (You think if anyone saw you on the street in that getup, they'd say, 'Oh, hey, Kevin!'), laughed when A-Train recounted the moment he'd first discovered his powers (Running faster than the bullets? That's one way to beat becoming a statistic') and flashed his lasers whenever Dr. Rangel so much as tried engaging him in conversation. Then, to top it off, he and the woman had left early, once they'd had their fun tormenting the group.

The woman... she was no better. While she wasn't as overtly malicious as her better half... her presence proved to be insidious in its own right. She'd gone toe to toe with Sage - something she must have known wouldn't have turned out in her favor... but she pressed on, arguing her down about the underlying emotions that motivated her actions, and asking her pointed questions, until Sage had had enough, and stumped her with a riddle: I speak without a mouth, and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?

The woman had sat, fuming, for a few minutes, before Homelander gritted his teeth, and lasered sharply at the ground next to Sage's feet, smiling nastily when she'd jumped. 

"I guess we'll never know," he said smugly, daring her with his eyes to challenge him.

Dr. Rangel started lightly as the timer went off, signaling the start of the sharing half of their therapy session. Making her way to the group, she cast a look at the pieces they'd created, nodding thoughtfully at each one.

A-Train had painted a series of overlapping skid marks on a road, with small sparks lighting the path of his feet.

Maeve had sketched a couple's embrace - and then painted over it a thick, dark cloud.

Deep made a seashell, nestled in Firecracker's hair, while Firecracker had drawn the hog from Voughtland's contest, a troubled look in her eye; Therese resolved to speak with her after the session.

Noir had drawn a human ribcage, teeming with moss and greenery.

Sage hadn't drawn anything; rather, she'd peeled the stickers off of the markers and paint tins to create a message on her easel: What a productive use of Vought's resources!

Starlight had drawn a lunar eclipse, the rays of sunlight peeking behind the moon, and Homelander had painted a scene of the sky at dawn; he'd painted himself in the picture, holding the woman, while they looked down at Mount Everest.

The woman... Therese wasn't quite sure what it was she'd created - but she was sure she'd be happy to explain, come her turn. She held her composure, even as the disquiet mounted within. 

"I think we'll start with... Noir," Dr. Rangel said,  taking her place in her chair and gesturing to him. Noir bowed, before rising to his feet and fetching his notepad and pen. He wrote carefully, nodding to himself, before passing the message along to Starlight, who touched her heart, before passing it on to the rest of the group.

Deep was the last to read, and he looked up at Noir, a soft smile on his face. "It's so weird to say this, but... you really do always know just what to say, don't you?" He passed the notebook on to Dr. Rangel, who also smiled.

There is always time for growth, Noir had written. 

"I think that's a very insightful, if understated, observation, Noir. The image of the moss growing over the ribcage... it reads like a symbol; even when things seem final, the potential for change, and for life, always remains an option." Noir flapped his hand, bashful, and the Seven laughed along with Therese.

"I mean it, Noir! It's a very hopeful piece - one that reflects a belief in the better nature of people, whether it's us, at Vought, or humanity as a whole. I'm happy you shared it with us."

"I'll go next!" Deep volunteered. He stood up, painting in hand, a shy smile on his face. "I kind of cheated, and used a picture I already had, but... this is of the time me and Misty, uh, Firecracker, I mean - when we went to Costa Rica, to watch the blue whales give birth." Firecracker flushed, smiling at the memory. 

"I loved that," she murmured. "We rode on the back of one after. Her name was Agape; she... sang for us."

Deep fished his phone out of his pocket then, scrolling for a moment until he found what he was looking for: a recording of the blue whale's song. The mythic sound flowed through the air, and the team hushed as they looked at his painting again, the sound all but taking them to the coasts. Starlight looked like she might cry; even Maeve seemed to soften as the whale's song played.

The team seemed almost at peace, Agape's song winding around their hearts and binding them, if only for a moment, together; they sat there, in the lull of the ocean's melody, a much-needed calm washing over them, until it ended with the faint sound of Firecracker's laughter.

A-Train was next; he stood up with his art, a contemplative look on his face.

"I... I don't know. This is supposed to be from the first 100 meter I ever won. My brother, he'd told me that it wasn't enough to be the fastest because of my powers - I actually needed to train. And so I did. I was doing cardio, eating right, sleeping right, training with him, day in and day out... and when it was time for the race... I'd used maybe ten percent of my powers? And... I still won!" He brightened at the memory, watching as the rest of the Seven shared in his joy. "I actually won... and I'd worked for it. It... I don't know. I've been thinking about that a lot."

Homelander snorted then; the team withered as they took in his spiteful expression - but Dr. Rangel shifted to him, turning her body to face he and the woman. Maeve held her breath.

"Would you like to share your piece, now, Homelander?" she asked, opening the floor to him.

Homelander almost looked surprised at the invitation - but, quickly saving face, he stood, brandishing his piece with a self assured air.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll share," he said, tone easy, but eyes tight. He held the painting a bit higher.

"This is what the sky looks like, from my point of view. It's... clean. Well... this is at Mount Everest; New York air is filthy, especially at... the level you all see. But up there... you can actually balance the water droplets on your finger, and..." he stopped himself; the entire team was looking up at him, almost... invested, he thought. A rare feeling of validation passed over him - though he quickly quelled it. They should hang onto his every word; it was a given that they'd be impressed. He was a very impressive man. The only one who's validation mattered was the woman's, anyway, he thought, keeping an eye on her as he spoke. He cleared his throat.

"It's real air. Nothing like this cesspool here. So." Nodding once to himself, he retook his position - standing, while the others sat - and smiled faintly when the woman stroked his leg from her sitting position at his feet.

The room was silent for a moment - nobody had expected him to actually partake in therapy, aside from the occasional jab here or there. Homelander looked around, drumming his finger on the table next to him. "Well?  he said, raising a brow, giving a tight grin that looked more like the baring of teeth.

"You included me," the woman said softly. Of course, Homelander thought.

 "It's like... you took me with you, to this place I would have never seen before. It feels... like you're bringing me into your world. Like I'm a part of it."

The rest of the team scrambled to add feedback - it wasn't as real as when the woman had said it, Homelander thought, displeased. Where she'd been admiring, the rest of them seemed stupefied, too afraid to offer anything. Deep spoke first, raising his hand and then lowering it, embarrassed at his schoolboy reaction.

"I really like the gradient. It's subtle; like...  you got it almost black, but nothing in nature is black, except for, like... maybe when you close your eyes? Even the bottom of the ocean is really dark gray, or blue - I think that's my favorite part." "I liked... the way you're holding her," Starlight said cautiously. Homelander raised a brow. "It's like... you're puzzle pieces," she said. The woman smiled at Starlight; Starlight felt a chill go up her spine. 

"I feel the exact same way," she said softly, curling a hand around Homelander's calf.

Dr. Rangel nodded, but, to the team's relief, it didn't seem as though she was going to push Homelander. Homelander seemed disappointed; he flicked his gaze at her, as though awaiting some sharp analysis of his drawing, but she'd only smiled at him and said, "I think my favorite part of this piece is the way you hold her, as well." Homelander brought his gaze back to her, almost waiting for more. She smiled, understanding then, and continued.

"There's... a tenderness in your grasp, and a certain duality within the image. You've clearly drawn this place from memory; perhaps it's somewhere you visit often - and you've taken someone else that is precious to you, to this precious place. I think it speaks to..." the Seven looked at her, a silent warning in their gazes. It was one thing to give Homelander the validation of a response - but it was another matter entirely to dissect this painting, lest she reveal something he'd rather keep hidden. Calling the painting "tender" was toeing the line, they knew; they waited for the end of her sentence, and prayed Dr. Rangel knew what she was doing.

Time to put that double board certification to the test, Sage thought, raising a brow.

"I think... you're more than Vought, aren't you, Homelander?"

Maeve let out the quietest of sighs. Homelander seemed to be brought up short by her observation; he sharply turned his gaze to her, but Rangel only smiled back, a kindness in her face that almost floored him. Nobody had ever said anything like that to him before... and he wasn't sure how he liked it. The muscles in his face twitched; Deep fidgeted in his cross legged position, reaching for Firecracker's hand. Starlight gave a cautious look to Rangel, but kept her peace. Maybe... this was what needed to happen, she thought. Rangel was playing a dangerous game, with unfair rules that changed according to Homelander's whim. She couldn't say nothing... but Homelander was clearly not there for therapy. For a second, a hot flash of anger coursed through her. Why show up, then? Was it because he just couldn't stand the thought of the getting something out of the experience? Did he have to ensure they were all miserable with him - did he have to keep them from any semblance of healing, just so he wouldn't be alone?

The team waited for Homelander to respond - but instead, the woman spoke, the light in her eyes like the sun. "Of course he is," she said, looking up at him. Homelander smiled back, before straightening his spine and looking Rangel head on. 

It was over, Maeve thought. They'd survived... for now. But the woman's piece... it puzzled her. She couldn't tell what it was - it was a strange, peachy portrait, a faint rosy hue dappled in the center - and the tension would only mount the longer the group stayed on Homelander's piece. She pointed to her painting then, diverting their attention. "What is that?" she asked her - and instantly regretted it, as the woman smiled.

"Oh, this?" the woman replied, standing at Homelander's side, painting in hand. The team watched, wariness growing by the second, as she presented her portrait, before looking to Homelander. "May I?" she said, bringing it closer to him. He cocked his head, before comprehension dawned on his face, and he nodded, the faintest hint of a flush gracing his cheek.

She held the portrait up to him, and Firecracker gasped, before holding back the sound with her hand. The woman, somehow, in the span of 30 minutes, had painted a near photo-realistic copy of a patch of Homelander's cheek, complete with the tips of his lashes at the edge of the canvas. It blended nearly seamlessly into his face, creating the disturbing illusion of his cheek going on for miles; the canvas itself felt like a monstruous extension of his skin, like a tumor that had grown malignant. 

Homelander took the painting from her gently, with an expression like nothing the Seven had ever seen from him before. He stared, eyes dangerously close to misting over, and ran his thumb over a light smattering of freckles the woman had dotted across his cheek. They were too small to see, unless one was especially close to him; Homelander brought his gaze to her then, quickly, before returning to the painting. How long had she looked at his face, to recognize those tiny specks? Holding his head in her lap, smoothing his hair, even washing it in the sink as she'd done before the meeting... had she done it then, in those moments? Had she counted them, as he slept? It was the shrine, all over again. She saw him - and, what's more...she liked what she saw.

Homelander cleared his throat, before turning to face the team, an expectant look in his eye. Dr. Rangel spoke first, regarding the portrait... warmly, Homelander realized.

"It's... an impressive piece, to be sure," she started, taking a tentative step closer, adjusting her spectacles. "It speaks... to a lover's level of attention. Care. I wonder... how often must you have studied him, to produce something so accurate?" The woman flushed, donning a sheepish smile. "I don't want to say," she joked, grinning when Homelander laughed - surprise coloring his face when he heard the answering, quiet chuckles of the Seven around them. He kept his face in that same charismatic mask, but within, his mind whirled. This didn't sound like the same laughs they usually gave - the ones he felt he all but had to force out of them, Homelander thought. He dared a quick look around; Maeve... was smiling softly. A-Train and Starlight looked... happy for him, he decided. Deep and Firecracker looked stupid, yes... but even he couldn't deny it; the looks of quiet joy on their faces were present.

Homelander prided himself on his sensitivity to the inner feelings and expressions of others; he had no choice to know, by virtue of his enhanced senses. Adrenaline had a certain, spiced scent to it; fear tasted stale on the air. But this... he'd never experienced the taste of joy, of affection, at least until the woman came into his life. But so fed on the emotion now he was, the faintest note of it was plain as day to his newly introduced nose. They... were happy for him.

They were happy... for him.

"That's, like, uncannily similar to his face," Deep joked, offering the woman a smile. "Might need to get you checked for V." The team laughed, and Homelander felt his heart race in his chest.

Maeve looked up; she'd gone back on her vow not to monitor his heart beat the moment he stepped into the meeting room. This sounded... like joy, she realized. As insane as the woman's painting was... Homelander was happy. Not maliciously gleeful, or relishing in someone else's suffering... happy. Content, even. She cast a look at Sage, who eyed her in turn. 

Should they even go through with the investigation? Was Deep right? The woman clearly had his heart... and, for the first time since meeting her, it seemed as though that was her goal in and of itself. Was there truly no other motive to loving Homelander, other than the desire to be with him?

For a moment, she flashed with resentment. Of all the people to find someone... she grit her teeth. And, deeper still, another thought lingered: Why hadn't she been able to manage him?

Homelander was... unhinged. Erratic - sadistic. She knew this... and yet, watching him hold the woman close, she felt an irrational envy creep up her spine like ivy. It wasn't that she wanted him, per se... rather, it was the idea that someone could be his other half, and make away with all that unconditional love, all that smothering affection, and thrive within it. 

It wasn't healthy; she'd painted a portion of his fucking skin... 

And he loved her for it, Maeve thought, the words like bile. All she'd had to do was be completely insane... and it would be her, feeling the warmth of arm that would never let go, with all the strength to bind her back together. She sniffed, and turned her head, pushing her painting away with her toe.

The timer sounded then, and Dr. Rangel looked around the room, a new levity dawning on her face as she regarded the team. "Alright; that's our hour!" she said, gathering the painting supplies. A-Train collected brushes, and Firecracker rolled up the unused sheets of paper. "We'll finish the rest of this exercise tomorrow, so I'll keep the paintings we haven't reviewed till then." When the room was clean, she faced them again, giving each member a soft smile. "As always, I'm honored to have heard from you today - and I hope to see you again next week. Great work, everyone. Truly."

With that, she left, supplies in hand; Deep held the door for her as she left. Even A-Train, who normally would have mocked the gesture, gave a small wave as she exited, before looking over his painting again, and then briefly at Starlight. Maybe she'd been right to take therapy seriously, he thought.

Homelander walked to the door as well, preparing for his meeting with Stan - but before he left, he, too, graced the team with a slight nod, and a quirk of his lip. "Yeah," he said. "Great work." And, turning smoothly on his heel, he swept open the door and left, his cape billowing behind him.

Stan was waiting for him when he walked through the door, Homelander saw as he stepped inside the CEO's office. The shorter man was seated at his desk, reading over a paper with a coffee mug staged casually to his left. Coffee, Homelander smelled. Arabica - black. He'd never known Stan to drink coffee; this must have been an act. 

After the therapy session with the team, this small moment of pretense felt especially heinous, but Homelander held his tongue. It didn't matter - not really. Not when the woman had promised him that she'd take him searching for four leaf clovers this afternoon. He'd told her that they weren't real - but she'd risen to the challenge with a gleam in her eye. The image of rolling through a clover field with her filled his mind, and he walked a little faster. Whatever it was that Stan had to say, he hoped it was brief. Rangel was right; he was more than Vought.

"Homelander," Stan said, offering him a slight smile that he didn't return. "Let's make this quick," Homelander replied curtly. The coffee smell had grown stronger as he'd stepped closer, and it was beginning to grate on his nerves.

"This will take as long as you need it to, actually," Stan said, ushering him closer. "But, please, do take a seat." Homelander paused, before sitting, drawing his cape neatly beside him and facing Stan. He eyed him silently, waiting for the CEO to break the silence. 

"As you know, the woman has been brought into the Vought Family, and is now under all the protection the label implies. Full amenities, access to anywhere in Vought Tower, totally able to avail herself to any and all of its resources." Homelander scoffed.

"She didn't ask you for any of that. I'm tired of you treating her like she's some... gold digger."

"Of course not," Stan agreed easily, smile locked in place. Homelander gritted his teeth. "I only mean to say that, to that end, as you know... this protection comes with the caveat of a full panel investigation into all of her affairs - past and present."

"She's not a spy," Homelander spat. "I'd already checked." Stan's smile grew.

"But of course; I'd expect as such. You are Vought's most profitable asset; it's only natural that you'd protect your interests - our interests." "I'm not - " Vought's asset. "Can you j- what is your point?" 

Homelander felt a chill run through him; Stan's heartbeat, normally so composed, gave a rare leap in his chest; he watched with dull dread, as the silver flash of his glasses reflected the sunlight. He smiled, again, steepling his hands.

"My point... is that we've found something regarding her, that may be of interest to you. Personally."

I don't want to know, Homelander thought - and in that moment, he truly didn't. Whatever it was... he could walk away now, back into her arms, her love, and wash this ugliness that was beginning on encroach on them away. Don't tell me. Just... don't. I can't.

Stan thumbed through the stack of papers at his desk with care, taking his time to ensure he'd picked the right documents out of the formidable booklet he'd created. Homelander read through the backs of the pages; lists of residences the woman had stayed. Comprehensive analyses of her mental state, each more troubling than the last. A flash of writing - Oh, Homelander... I want that love. His heart seized. 

You have it. 

Put the damn papers away, Stan. Let me go.

Stan fished a good twenty something pages out of the dossier, before bringing his gaze to Homelander. For once, he dropped the smile. The air seemed to crackle around them.

"Homelander... John," Stan said, leaning in. "I trust that you know... that when I say that I'm working with your best interests at heart... you know that I mean Vought, as well. Yes?" A beat of silence passed between them, until Homelander gave one, stiff nod.

"Then you know what it means... for me to say, that this woman... and her interests... do not serve Vought." With that, he gestured to the papers, and leaned back.

Homelander stared at the compilation Stan had lad out before him, taking the stack with hands that no longer felt like his own. He felt rooted to the chair; even if he was of the mind to fly away, he wasn't sure he'd be able to.

His vision went blurry as he read the texts, the posts... the fanart. The fiction. This was the blog that he'd seen before, and had looked over, in his haste to find the woman at the start of their union. It had all seemed so uninteresting to him, so useless in comparison to his goal... but now, the words haunted him, sending his stomach into a volatile waltz.

There were drawings of him - edited photos, imagined scenarios... all depicting him as a monster, as some craven beast. Such a freak, she'd written on her blog. Need that. None of the pictures looked like him; not really. They were all... distorted in some way; emphasizing his fangs to monstrous proportions in one photo - depicting him as a hulking, thoughtless mass in the other. In one, he held a woman in his arms, lips at her throat - and a hand delicately holding the stream of her intestines in the other, the ropes of her insides looped around his neck.

The fiction was no better; in every depiction, he was some sort of creature; a vampire, a werewolf, even a Sasquatch... but there was nothing of the man he'd shown her, not a trace of the sweetness he'd offered.  Not one mention of his smile, or the curly cue she claimed to love... it wasn't there.

Homelander looked up then, the light tremor in his facial muscles almost imperceptible. Another long moment of silence rolled between them before he rose to his feet, tossing the papers onto Stan's desk. He was right, Homelander thought faintly. The meeting did only take as long as he'd needed. 

"And Homelander?" Stan said. The Supe turned, his eyes flat.

"My working to serve Vought's best interest... is to serve your best interest. Please... never forget that."

Homelander marched through the halls, shouldering past the crowd of employees on the way to his suite. The memories he'd shared with the woman felt like ash on his tongue, each one ripping through him till he was tattered inside.

The dinner bowl she'd used to serve him - big enough for a beast.

Consoling him after the China warehouse burning - had she even truly believed? Or had it aroused her, to be in the presence of a monster?

Even the kiss they'd shared at Voughtland, in the wake of his destruction... she'd flung herself into his arms, stood against the Seven to fight for her place at his side... but now, he couldn't see it as love - only a perverse fascination with being claimed by some eldritch abomination.

She was fascinated by him, the way onlookers stared at bears, balancing on balls at a circus. They'd laugh, toss peanuts, and cheer when it roared - but they'd go home to dog, or a cat, nonetheless.

Was this anything other than a sick thrill to her?

Finally, he reached the door - and, just like the night they met, he held a hand up, hesitant. He inhaled slowly, the scent of her conditioner burning his insides.

Bergamot. Vanilla.

Kiss me. Please. He pushed open the door, and instantly, the urge to forget it all slammed into him. The woman was packing sandwiches into a picnic basket, wearing her hair in plaits, swimming in the baggy pair of overalls they'd found on their latest thrifting excursion. She looked beautiful, he thought - like everything he'd ever wanted.

She bounded over as soon as she heard his entrance, and tried to take him into a hug, a kiss - but he held firm, his body unyielding to her embrace. At once, she pulled back, confusion furrowing her brow. "Homelander?" she asked, eyes lost as she tried to catch his gaze, gasping when he looked above and away.

"Homelander!" she said again, this time reaching for his face. The moment her hand grazed his cheek, he snapped his gaze to her, the low drone of his lasers violent in the once placid air. She pulled back slowly; her heart was starting to race.

For a second, the sound gnawed at him, and he ached to take it back. But he found his resolve and stared her down. This was what she wanted, after all. The monster. He felt his lip curl in disgust.

"Homelander... what's wrong?" she asked, moving to touch him, and drawing her hand away. "Please! Talk to me!" 

He chuckled bitterly, taking a step back, before he spoke, with a voice like shrapnel.

"I finished my meeting with Stan," he said simply, his eyes molten. She waited for more - but when nothing came, she matched his backward step. "And?"

Homelander's hands began to shake.

"I think you know what 'and'..." he spat. He looked at her - still confused - and away again. The map of her face was painful to behold.

"I don't!" she implored him; she tried for another step. The sound of the lasers severed the air.

"You don't -" Homelander laughed again, running his hands in his hair. He started pacing, the expressions cycling on his face; bitter amusement, roiling anger - and hurt, like the flash of steel in the moonlight.

"You don't know," he whispered, turning away from her. The sound of her heartbeat, frantic and raw, pulsed in his ears, dancing with his own. He turned. 

"Well - let me fill you in. I walk into this meeting with Stan - and imagine my surprise, to hear that he's found something interesting. Something... about... you."

"He's lying," the woman breathed, clutching her heart. Homelander's jaw twitched - and he rushed to her in instant, his breath wafting her hair. 

Say it again. Make me believe it.

"No. You're lying,"

"What am I lying about?!"

Homelander looked down at her; within the reflection of her eyes, he saw himself, the red glare of his lasers casting shadows on her face.

"You tell me," he breathed. 

The two of them stood there, neither willing to break - until Homelander spoke again; he closed his eyes hard, and when he'd opened them, his eyes were blue again - deep, cerulean, and beginning to shine crystalline. 

"Am I... a fetish to you?" he asked, his voice threadbare. The woman gasped, horrified.

"No!" she exclaimed. Paying no mind to the threat, she took his face in her hands, fought to meet his eyes. "No," she said again, shaking her head. Her heart was hammering in her chest, Homelander heard - fear. And yet... she took another step closer. He snarled, and removed them.

"Stop lying to me!"

"I am not lying to you!"

"Stan showed me -" the woman cut him off with an incredulous laugh.

"Stan?! Are you serious?! Stan! Can't you see what this is? He's manipulating you!" Homelander scoffed, closing in with a dark glint in his eye. The woman raised her chin.

"How dare you," she hissed, meeting his stride once again. "How dare you. I bared myself to you - I gave you everything... and for you to turn away, the moment Stan offers you a hint of affection? You are the most powerful man alive... but you're letting him treat you like some lost, little boy."

At this, Homelander raced for her in an instant, his hands bruising in their grip as he forced her to the wall. His breath came in hot pants against her face, and he saw the glow of his lasers again, brighter this time, lighting up her face. He snarled, the inferno within igniting them hotter by the second. The woman leaned in, unblinking.

"Then do it," she whispered. He held his position - but inside, his heart stuttered. The woman narrowed her eyes.

"Do it," she repeated. He could smell the fear wafting off of her, but for the first time since this encounter, he wasn't so sure that it was fear for her life that set her heartbeat fraying.

"If there really is nothing left between us... if one word from Stan is all it takes, to snatch you away..." She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"End it all - and do it now... or I will. I will die, before I go back to how it was before you."

Homelander looked into her face, her wide eyes, and flushed cheeks... and felt something within him give. The fight wasn't genuine - it never was. But the question haunted him - if it wasn't true... if it wasn't true...

"Then what was that, that I saw on your blog?"

The woman paled; Homelander turned his face away again, his sigh bitter and sharp. 

"It's not what you think," she lilted. "Just please... let me explain." Homelander hissed.

"Explain what? That you get off on imagining I'm some... freak? A monster?"  "That's not what that is!"

"Then what is it?!"

"It's that I! Am a monster!"

Homelander stopped short, freezing in place - and, against all reason, he hoped, and waited. The woman took a shuddering breath before she spoke.

"I... I never told you about this, but a few years ago... I was sent to live in an asylum. I spent... two years there. I... loved someone once. Someone who didn't love me - and so... I... followed him. Everywhere." Now it was her turn to look away.

"I broke into his house... I collected his things. Called his family, staked out his job... for years. And... one day, I'd seen that he was with another girl. And so... I started plotting. My friends found my journal, where I'd written my plans, and they had me committed."

"After the asylum, I had nothing left. None of my family wanted anything to do with me - and my friends were afraid of me... afraid of what I was capable of. And even after they'd said I was safe to leave... I knew that wasn't true. I just... believed that it was all because he wasn't the one for me. The real love of my life would never be afraid of something like that. I wouldn't be."  She fidgeted with her plait, before continuing. 

"Around that time, I saw... you. You, with your perfect smile, and the way you held the world on your shoulders - and especially the way you loved Maeve... I needed... to believe that you felt the same. That I wasn't alone. But how could that be true? You were nothing like me - and so... I had to create a version that was." The woman's eyes began to shine; Homelander stopped himself from brushing away the unshed tears.

"If I was a monster - and I couldn't stop being a monster... and you were the only one who could love the way I did, there was only one way I could make myself believe that... that we could be together. We both had to be monsters. I didn't love you because I thought you were one - it was because... because... even if I'd made it up - you were one, too."

"That was why I was so relieved when you'd told me about China - why I ran to you, at Voughtland. I don't think you're a monster - but if you were... at least then, you would have me."

The weight of the woman's words settled heavily on his chest, forming a balm around the fractures created in his heart at Stan's revelation. He looked down at her once again, hands shaking, and finally, he grazed her cheek with his palm. The warmth of her seeped into him - it was their first touch, the memory weaving through time and tying him together. She was warm. Real.

"You are not a monster," Homelander breathed. "Then, neither are you," she answered, pressing a hand to the one cradling her face.

"I can't believe I listened to him," he spat; the woman shook her head. "I can. He does this on purpose; he knows you, whether we like it or not. And he's more than willing to use that knowledge to his own benefit." She leaned in, and kissed his nose.

"But, Homelander... that's just the thing. He does this to you... because he's made you believe that you need him - even though it has always been the other way around."  darkness passed over her eyes.

"And I think... it's about time we reminded him of that. Don't you?"

[dawndelion-winery]

It's For My Research!

Dottore × GN! Reader

There are things only science can make Dottore do, and it seems dating was one of them

Hi yes I live, I'm vv sorry about the long hiatus, I've been v busy and still am but hopefully I can get back into writing more frequently again. Tysm to everyone for sticking around

You're fairly certain you've tried everything; every trick in the book, and still your very attractive friend - used very loosely - didn't seem to take notice of you. Any scrap of attention he threw your way was solely for progress in his work, and if you approached him first? He'd only entertain as far as your academic related request required - anything like small talk was quickly shut down, both by his dry responses and intimidating demeanor.

"Zandik, I need your help with a personal experiment. There's no one else who can help."

He halted his work momentarily, head tilting to the side ever so slightly, evidently intrigued at your request. However, he made no move to give you his full attention, slowly resuming his activities, albeit a little slower, since he was dividing his attention for you.

"And what, pray tell, would this experiment of yours entail?" His deep voice flowed like a stream, almost washing your mind to a blank before you snapped out of it. You suspected such would be the case, with his mere presence turning your legs into goo as you struggled to maintain your posture. You stood on the other side of his workbench and slid a few papers over - documents covering the effects of companionship and sentimental attachment on rationality. His gleaming red eyes flickered between the papers and you, and he finally scoffed as he set them down, keeping his gaze lowered. Well, it wasn't like you expected to be successful given how he avoided you.

You muttered an apology and were about to turn on your heel when he raised his head with a dastardly cocky, heart-stopping grin, enchanting scarlet eyes rooting you to the spot.

"You would have me fill the role of your companion for this paper?" Zandik mused. He leaned forward, both palms flat on the workbench as his face inched closer to yours. "Or is it simply an excuse for you to be near me?"

His forehead was almost pressed against yours, a stray lock of his hair falling in front of your eyes like how his breath fell on your lips with his soft whisper.

"I-I really do need to write a report, Zandik." You were embarrassed by how shaky your voice was, betraying the effect he had on you as though he wasn't already well aware of it.

"On this topic specifically? My dear, if you're going to try manipulate me, don't make it so blatantly obvious what you truly want." With his height, he easily made long strides around the workbench, backing you against it to tease you further. He took ahold of your face with his gloved hand, lightly squeezing your cheeks so that your mouth parted slightly as he ran his thumb over your lower lip. "No matter...I'll humour you this time. I am so terribly curious as to how far you'll push your luck with me, so do try your best to entertain...for if you do, I just might throw you a bone and...indulge you further."

You screwed your eyes shut the closer his face got to yours, nervously anticipating his lips meeting yours. Naturally, you were left embarrassed once again when you felt his warmth grow distant and found him back at work, chuckling at how easily you turned to putty at his gestures.

Oh what a bastard he was. And how that bastard did make your heart run laps.

~

As a responsible scholar, you made sure to keep a daily record of your time with Zandik, noting every observation and thought you deemed important and relevant. All of this, of course, Zandik watched in amusement, still in disbelief you'd actually commit to the act.

And true to his word, he did indulge you every so often since you kept him entertained. From a casual arm around your shoulder to the spontaneous kisses to your palm, it seemed his idea of "rewarding" you was to fluster you.

~

A few months in and you'd expected the novelty of it to die down for Zandik. Yet it seemed he wasn't entirely opposed to sticking around until you let him go.

"My dear," he began. "Exactly how long does it take for you to obtain sufficient data for this?"

And there it was. You hesitated to answer, your mind racing for anything that might be a satisfactory reason for him.

"No need to answer. As thorough as you're trying to be, it's only natural you're nowhere near as competent as myself. I completely understand if you insist on clinging to me with what little you have."

He was just downright offensive. Word wise, at least. There was something less distant about his tone. Now that you had finally stopped swooning at the sound of his voice, you were able to develop some familiarity with his various intonations and subtle tells.

You laughed it off, knowing how much of an ass he could be. "Whatever you say, my darling." Feeling bold, you straightened your notes and planted a quick peck on his cheek before rushing off to submit them.

Zandik's eyes widened. And then his face fell into its usual self satisfied smirk as his eyes followed your retreating figure.

"To think that your silly hypothesis would apply to me as well...my dearest."

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