#i am having *so many* inappropriate thoughts y'all. so many.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Jesus Fucking Christ, Mile

[epickiya722]

Haha right? It's so normalized while it's actually so inappropriate to go to a stranger and talk about their sexual preferences.

I hate how "x fans" is called "x fuckers" now. Yeah I like Sukuna. No I don't want to fuck him. But all there is in his tags.

I'd go as far as to say that people don't care about characters. They just want to put them into tropes box to imagine them as their vampire/alpha male/ceo lover.

And I find it ironic how the same will trash talk about fanboys while they do the exact same thing. '"let women be horny" they will say, because reducing a story to you being horny is ok.

I still want to publish my stories because some fandom gave me hope. But I don't hold my breath anymore.

It is very inappropriate. Like, damn, I can't just like the character? I can't be entertained by their antics?

There are just so many things that shouldn't be normalized across fandoms and going into someone's inbox to be like "*insert character* fucker" is one.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind people having their fantasies about their faves, let alone am I gonna police anybody on or care to. Waste of my time, I got fics to write! Posts to post! 😭

But sometimes I do think "does this person actually care about the character's story"?

Because some of those same people will have so many takes on their faves that don't even be that character. That is a whole OC you created!!

I actually wasn't aware of this until only recently that people accepted for Sukuna to become some absolute horndog when Yorozu was up all over him. Maybe I missed something, but Sukuna only ever expressed being interested in fighting and killing people and personally, he never really came across as some sexual deviant to me.

I feel like sometimes if you have this fanon version of your fave, that is not your favorite. In no way, should you feel the need to like this whole other version of your "fave" in order to like him. Then why have them as your favorite in the first place?

I like Sukuna because he entertains me. He's this evil ass menace who wants all the smoke and the biggest beef he has is with a 15 year old (who is my all time favorite of JJK). Sukuna also this mysterious air about him because we still don't know much about his backstory, let alone everything he can do. (I had this recent thought about a technique that I should probably get to writing.) I have theories about his character, like how he may really be as a person, true. But at the same time, I'm not gonna believe my theories about him are canon because "I know him better than Gege". Anything I say isn't canon unless said so explicitly. I didn't create Sukuna. I am just another fan just vibing along with the story.

And it really is insane to me that people will do that. People were saying "female fans of JJK are ruining the fandom, they're all so horny" as if all us are horny, let alone engage in the anime for said reasons.

The same people *cough cough* misogynists *cough* who say that be the same people who will have a wallpaper of someone like Nami as their header and she'll have boobs bigger than what she has in canon.

Oooh, y'all don't like folks be objectifying the JJK men, huh? Even though for years female characters have gotten the treatment in Shonen. You cannot be dragging Gojo fans when you want to be Makima's dog. Stop that now.

Also, its not just the men! Uh, Yuki Tsukumo exists! She has a lot of fans who find her attractive. There's Shoko, Utahime, Takako, Mei Mei...

I'm waiting for the day 143 gets animated because I just know people are gonna go 👀.

Like, either way, if you're a person who gets constantly horny over your faves, why are you upset with someone doing the same?

I saw this meme post about how people tend to overlook the story and its details and only focus on the attractive cast and fights. And some people were like "but people are only focusing on the fights and attractive cast".

No, they're not. You're missing the point.

For one, you can find the characters attractive and enjoy the fights. That is fine. But at the same time, don't miss the story. Pay attention to it because it's just as important, if not more.

Second, not everyone is focused on just the fights and cast. If that was the cast, why do we have theories and meta posts? Why do we have people writing fics that study the character they're writing about? If no one is focusing on the story and only like the fights and attractiveness of the characters, then those kind of posts from fans wouldn't exist.

[squigglywindy]

Squiggles' Cousin Plays The LU Name Game

So, my cousin. Y'all may know her as the person I referenced in an ask game once as the only person who knows I'm on Tumblr. I am exactly 31 days older than her and we have been inseparable for life, but she knows nothing about LU. She knows that I like "that one comic called something about Zelda" (rip she was not paying attention) but that is it. She hasn't played any games or seen anything about LU. Just know she can be a lil inappropriate and I edited her a little but, y'know. It was funny.

I will call her Gertrude because it's...well, it's what I call her. But it is very much not her name, it's a dumb joke I like to tease her about that no one else uses so I think it's a safe pseudonym to use.

So I messaged her today and was like "hey you're playing the name game I'm sending the pics tell me what you think" and like the good cousin that she is, she played along. I screenshotted some of what I thought were absolute quality frames from the last few updates and ran with it.

It went something like this...

Gertrude: ✨Alligator Warrior✨

Gertrude: Frog

Me: You have got to be more creative

Gertrude: Okay. Sir Henry Hop if you're gonna be picky

Gertrude: Sir Edgar Fair Legs. He looks like a fairy, but it's not fairy legs. It's Fair Legs

Gertrude: Sir Edgar Fairy Legs Jr. This one is actually a fairy

Me: You can't do two Edgars

Gertrude: I CAN IF THAT'S HIS SON AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT IS NOT EDGAR'S CHILD

Gertrude: Big eyed fairy boy that has attachment to blanket. His name is um...Sir Lucy. But he is known as The Boy With An Emotional Attachment To A Blue Blanket

Gertrude: You if you were a cartoon. Idk Edgar I guess

Me: THEY CANNOT ALL BE EDGAR

Gertrude: OH! OH I'VE GOT IT! SAD SAM!

Gertrude: Oh. Oh so they're fruity fruity.

Me: Gertrude please

Gertrude: Squiggs look at them. That's a whole fruit basket I have never seen a fruitier human and I love them

Me: What is his name

Gertrude: Idk he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips though. Um. OH I KNOW! FRUITY FRED!

(And then she sent me a video of her demonstrating what she thinks he walks like and it was hilarious and unfortunately includes her face so y'all just know it was quality and involved a lot of hair flipping)

Gertrude: Oh that's Mark

Me: That's it?

Gertrude: Yeah he's just Mark

Gertrude: OH. OUGH. OFNDJKFDSHJKFDS. UHHHH. SEXY EDGAR

Me: NOT ANOTHER EDGAR

Gertrude: HE IS SIR EDGAR FAIR LEGS' YOUNGER LESS SUCCESSFUL BUT SEXIER BROTHER HIS NAME IS CAMERON BUT EVERYONE CALLS HIM SEXY EDGAR

Gertrude: Wowza. You know what Doja cat said about big noses

Me: Gertrude focus

Gertrude: His name is definitely Samuel. Samuel Elk Boy. He can turn into an elk

Gertrude: OH GOSH. SO MANY THOUGHTS AT ONCE WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS KID

Me: THIS IS MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED TREAD CAREFULLY

Gertrude: Bowling ball looking eyeballs. He's adorable but my gosh he can see noises. He can see the sound waves. He can find my potential in life. Damn 👁👄👁

Me: GERTRUDE

Gertrude: OKAY I'M SORRY. IT'S BILLY. BILLY WITH THE BIG ASS EYES

Gertrude: Oooh a girl. I know she could kick anybody's ass. AND cook up a storm. MRS. EDGAR

Me: WHY

Gertrude: If she's not married to Sexy Edgar she should be. She deserves it

Me: Let her be her own person. Give her a name

Gertrude: HE TOOK HER NAME, FOOL. IT'S HIM THAT DOESN'T HAVE ONE

Gertrude: Sexy Wolf. Mrs. Edgar turns into this wolf

Me: She does not

Gertrude: She should

Me: Thank you for participating you did terrible

Gertrude: Yeah whatever I'm still thinking about those big ass eyes they saw things I didn't know existed

[thebathatter]

Tommy Shelby x OC

Summary: This might just be the most interesting boring party Tommy Shelby has ever been to.

Authors Note: This was written for @notyour-valentine 1k Follower celebration using the prompt "An inappropriate giggle" which is so cute! I hope I managed to do this prompt justice. I went a little to hard so I hope its not too long. This is like my second fic ever but I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope y'all like it! Sorry in advance for any mistakes you encounter bc no beta. Anywhoo Once again Congratulations on such a huge milestone! Enjoy!

p.s I named her Lucy bc I had "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" on repeat lol

A Funny Girl

Thomas Micheal Shelby was a man of many talents, he was rather good with words, a natural leader, and a savvy businessman, seemingly all one needed to successfully run a company and intermingle with England's high society. Oh, how wrong he was, for all his many talents Tommy Shelby has yet to master the deplorable art of small talk.

Attending parties has suddenly become an integral part of his job. Charity parties, dinner parties, company parties, derby parties, the whole lot of them all the same high and mighty lords and those cowards from the cavalry and decorated upper-class ladies talking about everything and nothing. Granted they would once in a while say something with some merit but the instances were few and far in between, and it certainly was not worth the side glances he would get from the men or the overwhelming sound of the ladies giggling and not so subtly commenting on his bachelor status.

“I certainly think that is a cause worth supporting, don't you think so Mr.Shelby?” a high-pitched voice shook him from his thoughts. Shit! What is this woman's name Lady Beabroke? What were they talking about? Better to just go on with it

“Of course, noble indeed. Where would I need to inquire about donating?” he asks politely hoping his voice does not sound as dazed as he felt.

“Why I believe Lord Walker’s secretary handles all their donations isn't that right sir?” Lady Beabroke continues addressing the well-dressed plump man standing across from them.

“Ah yes, my niece! I am afraid she is late again as I have not seen her but once she makes an appearance I will make sure to point her out to you Mr.Shelby we are very grateful for any contribution, children are the future after all.” Lord Walker says a deep chuckle all proud and smiling way too much for someone as serious as a Lord. If Tommy still believed in Father Christmas he might have mistaken Lord Walker for him.

Tommy politely excuses himself for a moment to walk towards a waiter holding a tray with champagne glasses hoping the alcohol would hold him over until dinner, he doesn't make it 3 feet before he is ambushed by pearls and giggles.

“Oh, Mr.Shelby I am so glad you were able to make it tonight” says Lady Owen the organizer of the event, her husband is a betting man, and never seems to have any luck with the horses. 

“Yes Mr. Shelby you’re a delight indeed” Lady Madison continues in an overly sweet voice almost making him cringe “ Why you should've brought your darling brothers! I would love to meet them, rumor has it they're as handsome as you!” Both women break into delicate practiced laughter. 

“You lovely ladies are too kind,” he says, giving them a side smile. It must have the right effect as both women seem charmed enough.

A loud laugh interrupts whatever intelligent conversation the women were about to regale him with next, which causes them all three to turn towards the entrance of the grand hall.

“ I am fine, it's just a little water sir! I needed a shower anyways ” a female voice says just as a young woman in a green dress walks into the hall with a waiter holding a small hand towel up to her which she gratefully takes. She is more or less dry, her exposed arms are littered with droplets and he notices her trendy bobbed hair is slightly damp as she rubs the towel up and down both of her arms, the whole time smiling and giggling at herself.

“Ah that must be Lord Walker's niece,” Lady Madison says “Heard she is quite a… funny girl, she comes from America you see”

“Uncle!” she excitedly yells once she spots him among the crowd attracting everyone's attention “Oops excuse me that was loud! As you were everyone” she continues walking to her equally smiley Uncle who embraces her in a bear hug before looking her over and laughing once again both seemingly finding it hilarious that she showed up to this high-class party in such a state.

“Americans never change, do they? So loud! Also, look at her dress, it almost hits her knees how indecent!” said Lady Owens judgemental voice quipped sounding incredibly scandalized “Oh my she’s coming this way”

Indeed she was. The young woman was merrily making her way toward them this time with a small folder in her hand. 

“Good evening! You must be Mr. Shelby, my Uncle has told me a good deal about you” she said offering her hand for him to shake. He was at a loss for a second as he’d often heard ladies don't shake hands but recovered quickly and extended his own gently shaking her smaller hand. Her skin was soft yet not without a certain roughness to it, definitely not an idle lady that sits all day for tea and gossip and her grip was firm and full of confidence, she's done this before then. She made eye contact with him the whole time offering a sweet smile, her gaze was soft and relaxed. He was not used to not seeing people with their guard up and this girl was an open book, it almost startled him to see someone bare it all without a care in the world.

“Thank you so much for inviting us Lady Owens, it's a lovely party” she turned to the hostess politely. 

“I was beginning to think you would not show up Ms.Walker '' Lady Owens replied tensely, pointedly ignoring Ms. Walker's gratitude “A little more and you would've missed dinner. Would you like to use the upstairs to freshen up?” Ah, there it was the unique passive aggressiveness of the upper class.”

“I am truly sorry for my lateness it's too easy to get turned around in a city like yours and don’t worry about me Lady Owens I’m sure it's not the first time your guests have seen wet hair with this dreary weather you have here in London,” she says with a polite smile Good save Tommy thinks she was not rude but she did not take it on the chin either. Ms.Walker turned back to him and took a breath to start speaking when she was rudely interrupted by Lady Owens 

“As I was saying Mr.Shelby your eyes are truly magnificent isn't that right Lady Madison” 

“Why I do believe they the bluest I have ever seen”

“That is very kind of you, My Lady” Tommy replied, wondering if he was starting to feel embarrassed.

“See Mr.Shelby I have a daughter, she’s a bit younger than you but she's a pretty thing, very good background and very obedient” Lady Owens continued 

“All of this is terribly interesting Lady Owens but in order not to waste more time,” Ms.Walker started “Mr.Shelby my uncle has instructed me to give you more information regarding our foundation it can all be found in these documents along with our office address here in London I would love to take you on a tour of our facilities so you can make an informed decision on whether or not you decide to partner with us”  

He admired the way she politely took over the conversation and enjoyed Lady Owen's baffled look at being so suddenly stopped mid-conversation handing him the folder she turned to the ladies and said “Well ladies I won’t take any more of your time you can get back to your obedient daughter and Mr.Shelby's dreamy blue eyes” she looked at him and winked  teasingly before gracefully walking back to her uncle.

“Well she is certainly forward, isn't she? Modern women, no wonder they can't find suitable husbands I heard they call them charity girls” Lady Owens said scornfully

“Charity girls?” Lady Madison asked suddenly very intrigued at the chance to hear some new gossip 

“Oh, I can barely make myself repeat it,” Lady Owens said, putting her jeweled hand to her chest seemingly steading herself “You know working girls Mary? Well a charity girl does what working girls do without charge”

Lady Madison gasped and held her hand to her chest “Oh my”

Both had seemingly forgotten Tommy was standing there with them utterly bored of their little exchange. He turned to see Ms. Walker standing next to her uncle talking to Lord Madison who seemed to be charmed by her, both exchanged a couple of laughs before Madison nodded and he shook hands with her Uncle presumably making a deal. Working girl or not, she is good at her job.

Once dinner was served Thomas found himself sitting next to Ms.Walker and after a toast to the king they started to eat, chatter filling the large hall.

“So did she get the date?

“Excuse me,” Tommy said as he turned to look directly at her 

“Lady Owen’s obedient daughter. Did she land a date with your magnificent blue eyes Mr.Shelby ?” The last sentence was said in a fake London accent, gaudy and posh imitating Lady Madison. Tommy did not know how to react. No one in these events ever spoke to him so casually or in such a direct manner before.

“No” he finally replied 

“Shame” she responded “you know when she first started talking I thought she was trying to sell you a dog”

That made Thomas almost choke on his champagne. She just says whatever comes to mind eh? he thought.

“I mean good background and very obedient. I was thinking about a greyhound or something. Guess not, just her human daughter” she turned and smirked this time her eyes were mischievous. It reminded him of the look Finn gave them when he would think no one knew he was smoking cigarettes in the garden.

“But hey I am a modern woman, I drink, I smoke, I dance the Charleston, no chance of finding a husband with pretty blue eyes for me” 

“You heard that” his brows furrowed. For some reason, he felt a tinge in his chest at the thought of her taking what those old hags said about her seriously.

“Oh they never say anything you are not meant to hear at these parties” she replied calmly smiling back at him “It only serves as a reminder that my life is more fun than hers”

He had never really thought about it like that. Money always meant freedom and power but fun? No, fun had never really crossed his mind.

“It almost makes me feel bad for Lady Owens” she continues 

“Why is that?” Tommy started now engaged in the most entertaining conversation of the night.

“Even though she is a literal charity girl I doubt she’s had a good lay in a while”  

Thomas' couldn't help but snort before his face fell “I am sorry you had to hear that. It's none of their business”

“Don’t trouble yourself about it Mr.Shelby it's not like you said it” She said calmly “Not the first time and not the last time someone will call me that I can assure you, the upper class is an uptight bunch but seeing them scandalized is always very entertaining”

“You got that right, love” he replies going back to his food “Call me Tommy” 

“I’m Lucy,” she says and he turns around to find her already looking at him. She smiles sweetly and he finds himself returning it. Her cheeks blush a little, must be the champagne.

“A toast to my lovely wife” Lord Owen's booming voice is heard from the head of the table “Who organized this lovely evening and whose big heart encourages us to give to those most in need” 

Everyone raised their glass before Lord Owens continued “And of course, we must include my wife’s fellow charity girls who are always willing to help her spread joy and kindness.”

Lucy turned to look at him immediately they managed to hold it together for a second before they dissolved into laughter. Lord Owens was significantly confused and his wife was going red in the face either in anger for their inappropriate reaction or her husband's seemingly innocent comment having a double meaning he was ignorant to.

Quickly composing herself Lucy spoke first “I deeply apologize, Lord Owens. Mr. Shelby is more charming than I gave him credit for” she motioned to him placing her hand on his arm gently ignoring the scandalized and judgemental stares from the ladies sitting across from them.

Lord Owens most definitely already under the calm fog of alcohol simply smiled “No apology needed Ms.Wilson. We were young once too”

Once dinner was through the guests started to slowly dissipate as their cars were brought towards the front. 

“Well Tommy I thank you for a truly entertaining dinner” Lucy spoke as they both waited for their cars away from the rest of the guests 

“You should be thanking Lord Owens and his charity girls” Tommy replied while lighting a cigarette feeling rejuvenated as he inhaled the smoke tasting the tobacco. His reply coaxed another pretty laugh from her, shoulders shaking with mirth. He stared at her lips, the rouge that  lay on top of them almost gonet but they seemed soft and that cheerful smile that decorated her soft features creating a very alluring picture.

“Tommy?” she called. Shit, she caught me, he thought. Her mischievous eyes were back and seemingly hypnotized him as he barely registered her movements as she took the cigarette from his mouth and brought it to hers gently inhaling as she looked directly at him. She exhaled and then moved to put his cigarette back in his still-open mouth. Lucy then proceeded to caress the side of his face before bringing him down to her height to gently kiss his cheek. 

Tommy looked deeply into her eyes when she pulled back still holding his face. “What was that for eh?”

“Charity,” she said teasingly before caressing his face. She started making her way to the front when he grabbed her hand. “See you around?” he asked, suddenly nervous, not sure why. Lucy squeezes his hand before saying “Not if I see you first” giving him one last wink before joining her uncle. 

Tommy takes his cigarette from his lips and catches a glimpse of a slight lipstick stain around it where his lips had just been. He lets out a slight chuckle as he looks at the starry night sky. 

A funny girl indeed. 

[theodoraflowerday]

young royals s3e1 episode reaction:

oh god oh lord

let's go

and his LAWYER? is this about sara reporting him?

oh ludwig speaks

THEYRE BEING SUPPORTIVE???? I fr thought their marriage was a sham lol

PILLS????? KRISTINA??????????

bro wille really is a mini kristina huh.

wait simon's never been to the palace before has he?

a SETTLEMENT??????????

BRO HE POSTED CSAM TO THE INTERNET WDYM A SETTLEMENT

oh. my god burn it to the GROUND LINDA

oh? oh my god? what the fuck???

"piss person" well you little bitch baby that is Indeed what you are so

ugh

Linda is so right but so is Simon

I really hope this isn't how it's solved tho I wanna see August burning

"I just want it to be over" oh my baby boy oh my son

what's this hi hi what is this heartstopper

CAN Y'ALL KISS??? IVE WAITED LIKE A YEAR AND A HALF?

"cozy" oh kflfjdlfjdlgkdlgkdlgkdl little shit

(ps if I didn't rewatch yesterday I fully wouldn't have caught that throwback)

when Simon touched the curtain I knew kslfjdlfjdlfjdlfj

THEYRE SUCH PRETTY KISSERS IM GONNA RIP MY LEGS OFF

IS THIS HOW YOU IMAGINED IT

THIS IS BETTER

BROOOOOOOOOOO IM GONNA SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT

omfg they're SO CUTE I'M LOSING MY MIND

oh OH oh they're GOING at it

oh come ON

well that was precious as all hell

and now they're going back inside as if they weren't dry humping in wille's room 3 minutes ago. kings.

I want to smash rickard's face against a fire pit

simon: oh fuck. wille: oh yea you're lucky I didn't shoot you piece of shit

I'm losing my mind at linda being extremely surprised while kristina's like "sighs yeah. fucking figures. erik would never"

also losing my mind at wille's face lil bro is like AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN BAP BAP BAP

[maddie voice] FUCK YOU AUGUST

oh now linda's all disappointed. ok. be a better mom then.

i will literally rip August's face off idc

KRISTINA??????????

KRISTINA

omg felice

oh baby girl no

BUT SARA WAS A SNAKE

I want to give felice so many hugs my bbg

oh my god farima what the fuck sjgldjfkdjfldkf

WHAT THE FUCK

oh my god she really said "ok you're super gay now, wonderful, how can we use this to our advantage"

WELL ASK THEM?? YOU'RE THE LITERAL MOTHER IN THIS SCENARIO. ACT LIKE ONE.

linda has been pissing me tf off since last season idc

omg someone snitched on hillerska

OH

OHHHHHH

OH THEY KISSED IN PUBLIC

OH MY GOD

OH THEYRE GOING ALL OUT

hey now hey now this is what dreams are made of etc etc

BOTH THE CROWN PRINCE AND YOUR BOYFRIEND

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA

B O Y F R I E N D

let's fuckin GOOOOO ENDGAME BITCHES

if simon sneaks out it's gonna bite them in the ass tho lmao

"sleep with a freshman" August did that twice lmao gross

OH THEY KNEW

OH MY GOD HE'S DOWN BAD

vincent is such an asshole barfs

DONT TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT AWAJFLSJFKSJFSKJ

fine. I'm coming out. i am a big august/sara enjoyer.

not the tiny heart that's so fucking cute

he can't get tattoos?? that's such bullshit. get a tramp stamp wille it's what you deserve

not felice unloading on wille and simon HDKFJDKGJ babygirl I love you and you need a therapist bc that's so inappropriate

"how do you get over your best friend" felice baby im gonna send you a google doc called the lesbian masterpost hang on

yeah of course that piece of shit nasty asshole talked to the press lmfao

"ex" y'all kissed like twice, [clare from derry girls voice] look at the state of ya

actually? can rosh and ayub talk to him? with their fists? and a knife preferably?

you know, I actually kinda like nils. he's so fucked up but you can see he genuinely cares abt wille. in his own lil fucked up extremely upper class way.

SARA

SARA NOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh lmfao that's literally how my dad's house looks like when I show up haha sad

omg are they gonna initiate her again

OMG

OMG BABY GIRLS

BRO THEYRE GONNA CLEAN HER ROOM AND TAKE HER TO NEW YORK

TEEN GIRLS BRO

oh wille seems so cozy. wonder what's going to go down now.

oh did they write an article abt simon

oh

oh it was not about simon

oh sweet baby jesus

I mean. it was totally alexander wasn't it lmfao

but also like....... I love that they're blowing that shit up. blow that school up.

ALL CLASSES?????

aw they're sitting together. boyfriends.

"did that happen to you" how is wille more worried abt the gay porn one and not ALL THE OTHER SHIT THEY DID TO HIM

oh I like her she reminds me of the lady from the incredibles

ohhhh

NOT THE PHONES TOO?

get over yourself vincent. fuck you vincent.

oh they're gonna close this shit

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fuck okay wonderful

[slutty-d1saster]

Okay so this is like half hornypost half actual question about geder.

I feel really weird sometimes about it, but I occasionally have the thought that my gender would be so much less complicated for me to understand if I were a trans man instead of amab, because then masculinity would be a choice and not my default. And that feels like a weird thing to think but also it makes a lot of sense?

And then also I see so many of y'all on here posting about all the nasty amazing things you want to do to trans boys and part of me is like "damn, I wish that could be about me" and I'm like genuinely jealous of people with vaginas sometimes because I feel like they can get so much more out of sex than I could and I have no idea if that's true but I sometimes wish I didn't have a penis both for sex and gender reasons and everything is very confusing. Sorry if this is weird, and also if any trans folk think this is an inappropriate thing for me to have said I'm really sorry I do not mean any of this disrespectfully I'm genuinely confused as hell about my own gender and am trying to figure shit out.

[oh-munda-kukkad-kamaal-da]

Idt the other anon is wrong, you made a inappropriate joke about an artist and before that a human and you shouldn't have done it. Even though you had no intention to hurt anyone's emotions you should have thought that there are people who can't take a joke.

I get it when so many others said it's not just about Taylor Swift anymore, it's about how make a ‘joke’ on someone's appearance. I have idols whom I love more than anything and wouldn't take a single word against them but I would even consider whom the word was coming from.

To them anons and fans, I understand why you are offended and hurt but did any of you for once atleast think why would Voiz even do this? I'm always in his inbox, I always check his asks and posts. He comforts people, understands them, he never looked down on anyone and never has been rude to anyone for no reason.

I am not denying he made inappropriate joke but is he really someone so arrogant who'd deny and be rude to you if you said him it hurt you and not to do it again? Just for once did any of you say him that before sending all that hate?? I know him enough to say if you just said it once he would never do it again even as a joke! Can you recall a single time before he's done this? He's always been so considerate and thoughtful about his anons. He messes up for once and y'all make it unforgivable?

Ykw he's sensible enough to know he's done wrong and correct it himself. Only if it wasn't for all that hate you sent and made him feel so sad that he believe he's lost all his friends he made over here. Okay you were standing for a human but why did you have sent hate to make someone else feel this shitty? I don't understand the purpose of all those hate anons. If you loved your idol so much you should've made sure to correct the person so it doesn't happen again instead of making someone feel so miserable!!! If you would've asked him to apologize, say you're hurt ot take down the post he would not disappoint you. He's always been so understanding. He was wrong with that joke but I'm even more disappointed in everyone else who got involved in spreading hate.

Idk what to say. Its just that i have dark humour and sometimes my ways of joking around can sound harsh but i never actually mean it. The thing that matters is that everyone here thinks that i judge people on the basis of their looks.

[telestoapologist]

I think you're very cool and stupidly funny and I visit your blog daily. I am starting to learn about your OC!

I'm also so glad people have been respectful because every time one of my destiny arts breaks containment I get very angry sad anons. I know it's a mega tiny minority among lovely people but I don't want anyone dealing with that.

oh gosh, thanks a bunch man!! 💖 also while I appreciate the sentiment, y'all gotta be more specific about which ocs you're referring to! I have so many here awdkfgbhgf

god, same. while I totally get the emotional impact art has, that doesn't mean people gotta storm your inbox and be unruly to you. and dw about it! sometimes stuff like that happens and people without realizing it will respond inappropriately. won't always make 'em a bad person, but you do what you gotta do to hold up your boundaries and keep your space happy for u. thanks for the sweet wishes 💙

thoughts and prayers

[c0pperdale]

I was away from Tumblr and general online fandom culture for many years, and returning to it has led me to some interesting realizations. A primary one being, at the ripe old age of 34, I am a fandom old. In my day-to-day life I don't feel old, but when in online fandom spaces, I certainly do. It's led me to realizing that I need to be more delicate and careful about interacting with others in this space than I needed to be when I was on here at age 25–26.

Back then, I was a decent bridge age, in that I could relate to and interact easily with both people older than me and a little younger than me. But now I am substantially older than the younger users on here, and I very much do NOT want to be creepin' on y'all. The problem is, my thought process for following blogs is typically seeing a post and thinking, "wow cool I like that!!1," and clicking the Follow button. So, most of the time, I don't do a lot of research before following other blogs, meaning I'm going in blind as to how old some of y'all are. And this sometimes leads to a post in my dash where the person is talking about school or classes, and it's very clear they're not around my age talking about their post-graduate program; no, they are in college, or worse, high school. And that feels yikes yikes yikes for me, so I unfollow.

So, all of this is to say, if I follow and then unfollow your blog and you're a young person (teens and early 20's), please know this is probably why. You deserve to have an online experience without having weird old ladies like me observing you. I came of age during the era of AOL chat rooms, where I was ages 11–14 chatting online with people inappropriately older than me, who were also often turning our conversations to very inappropriate places. Looking back at that as an adult, I am like HOO BOY that was super icky. Since that happened to me, I feel the instinct to place a very big and large boundary between me and youths online, even though I have zero plans to act gross. The internet is way bigger and weirder now, but hopefully me trying to set that boundary there is doing something helpful. Anyways, just my thoughts.

[nurseofren]

Keeping Your Promise - Chapter 30 (NSFW)

Read on AO3 | Read on Wattpad

Read chapter twenty-nine (NSFW-lite)

Title: Not a Fascination

Words: 14.1k (Um... don't look at me lmfao)

Summary: The other side of tragedy.

Warnings: vaginal fisting, needles, inappropriate use of medical equipment

ST Rambles: Here to drop this absolute MONSTROSITY of a 14.1k word chapter. But boy howdy was this thing a long time coming. Thigh riding, fisting, vein kink -- OH MY. To be honest, this thing was not supposed to be what it is, but I went with it and like how it turned out and how it will help the story along.

I take my NCLEX on July 7th and start my orientation on the 19th. Life is crazy y'all. Enjoy this.

[MASTERLIST] || BANNER // @elmidol

Bloodied faces, jagged flesh, the smell of iron scorching your nose, screams scraping against your ears and never ending, never faltering no matter how much you did.

All these things, these horrid thoughts, crowded your mind, and all you could do was keep running, keep tumbling through the unfamiliar halls of this place and hope you could get to him in time. Get to Kylo in time.

Because how many chances could the galaxy or the stars or the gods offer you? It felt like you’d used those chances up, maxed them out between Robbie and Snoke and Starkiller.

But you could not think like that, or at least you didn’t want to. It was useless, none of those gut-wrenching thoughts could help you or Kylo, and all of them just made you want to crumple to the floor and give up.

If he wasn’t okay, if he was dying…

The thought made you stumble forward, your fingers clamping onto a doorframe as you made another tight turn into the next hallway that looked like all the previous. You shot past couplets of workers, their shocked gasps dwindling behind as you raced away from them to wherever your watch was leading you.

CB-7070 raced just behind you, and maybe it appeared as if you were being chased by security, but you couldn’t care less, not as you felt the phantom flood of crimson slither along your leg, its ghost a cold, wicked reminder of how bad things could be again. The stormtrooper didn’t stop you, though, and you wondered briefly if she had been alerted to Kylo’s emergency as well. But it was a fleeting thought, and all you could think of was getting to him and being with him and not letting him go ever again.

Your heart burned in your chest and your legs flew faster than you ever knew they could, fast like your sprint toward the Command Shuttle when the planet was exploding alongside your life. This was all too familiar, too chaotic. You couldn’t do this again.

You wouldn’t.

The next turn you hurdled past, you promised yourself that you would do everything you could to ensure Kylo would never be helpless like he had been ever again. Trial be damned, license be damned, Snoke be damned! None of it mattered. Nothing mattered. Nothing but him, nothing mattered except him. It was always him.

It would always be him.

The tiny red blip of your radar display became centered, and you looked up just before you met a badge-protected door face first. Before you could process the thought completely, your hand flung to the badge hanging from your collar and slammed it into the scanner on the wall. The door hissed open and you catapulted into whatever room you’d been led to.

And then you connected with a hard wall of heat and muscle. Kylo.

Breath heaved from your lungs as your hands skimmed along his front, assessing for damage and wounds, searching for the sinister slip of blood beneath the tips of your fingers. You were only vaguely aware of the questions fumbling from your trembling lips, your ears ringing and head pounding as your hands took one of his clothed arms and smoothed along its strong length, wandering until they found nothing of concern and shifting to the opposite.

After finding his front and upper half free from injury, you went to spin to his back, but a hand caught your hip – a warm, firm hand that broke through the cloud of panic that’d swallowed you – and kept you from moving. You urged away from it, but it remained and kept you steady, and when you tried a third time, it grasped a little tighter, and you found your way back to the present.

Breath wheezed out of you and you looked up. Kylo was peering down at you, unmasked. It was there again, that odd, unreadable expression from the Command Shuttle that day, the one that looked like awe, but now it was laced with something more. The way he looked at you… Kylo seemed stunned, but there was this strength to it, like he hadn’t been expecting your worry, but that he liked it.

“Kylo,” you whimpered, your fingers reaching up to skim his face, the pad of your left ring finger etching along the black-and-red scar that struck through his face.

His Jaw tightened and your eyes fled to his, the weight of his molten amber gaze making you shiver. Something wet and hot slipped over your top lip, and only then did you realize you’d begun to cry.

“Kylo,” you mouthed, and then you rested your forehead against the broad width of his chest, your hands slipping from his face and reaching around his waist so you could pull him to you.

He seemed to relax slightly with you tight against him, but he was still rigid.

“Leave us,” Kylo stated simply, and your blood ran cold while your face heated.

In your panicked state, you forgot that CB-7070 had followed after you. She’d kept up with you through the halls and was now standing in the same room where you’d just caressed the Commander of the First Order’s face and hugged him. The room where you were still hugging him.

“Commander Ren, I am to remain with your provider during her time away from the Consulate,” CB-7070 said, an uneasiness clear even in her altered voice. “To leave her would go against my assignment.”

“Your assignment is with the General, is it not?” Kylo demanded, the hand on your hip flexing but never releasing.

There was a tense pause, and you heard the stormtrooper at your back shuffle uncomfortably, undoubtedly under the intense glare your master was shooting her right now.

“She is my provider, after all. Report to the General that you left her with me.” His heart was steady and unwavering in his chest, and you knew you should pull away from him, but you were too caught up in the reassurance of his strong form to do so.

Another moment of silence passed, you felt the steady gawk of CB-7070’s face centered on you, and you went to finally let go of Kylo. But he had other plans. Instead of letting you go, Kylo took the hand that wasn’t clasped to your hip and let it trail up your spine, dragging it along your back until it cupped the base of your skull and shifted your head so your cheek lay flat against his chest.

“Tell your general he can come to me if he has an issue with my order. I’ll be interested to hear his… perspective on the matter, if he feels so compelled.”

The lethal confidence that Kylo spoke with seeped into your bones. And though you couldn’t see his face, you heard the slight snarl he’d ended his words with.

A second passed, you took a breath, and the heat of Kylo’s gloved hand atop your nape sent a scalding shiver down your spine. Movement sounded at your back, and you could almost feel CB-7070’s surrender in the way the remaining rigidity left Kylo altogether.

The stormtrooper cleared her throat. “I will report as you’ve advised, Commander Ren.” Out of the corner of your eye, CB-7070 shifted toward you. “Officer,” she said in resignation, wariness tingeing her tone.

You couldn’t look at her. The only thing meeting her mask-hidden eyes would do is solidify that you had an odd, extremely inappropriate relationship with Kylo Ren. Between the trial, the shitty shift, and whatever Kylo called you here for, the last thing you needed was Hux up your ass. Or, further up your ass than he already was.

So you only nodded against Kylo’s chest, attempting to speak but knowing your words would be rasped by how thick your throat had become.

Boots sounded on the tile floor, then a rush of hydraulics, and finally the room settled around you. It was quiet, the only sound that of Kylo’s rhythmic, unfaltering heart and your own pulse finally slowing in your ears. He still held you to him – hand on hip and head – and for however long he did, whether it was minutes or hours, you felt the chaos of Starkiller’s downfall flood away. Kylo held you and you held onto him, and the planet at your feet kept still and steady, so you allowed a second a peace, clinging to every rise and fall of the chest that tided beneath your cheek.

Had you ever held Kylo Ren before? The thought struck through you, and you tightened your hold just a measure more, and you felt your body sigh against his.

Kylo had held you before, held tight your sob-wracked body on that all-too-recent day that seemed to have changed so much. Seemed to have changed everything, really.

“I thought something happened,” you murmured. “I thought you were hurt again like… like last time. And that I’d find you and you wouldn’t…” You swallowed, the grim thought choking you. “And you wouldn’t wake up this time.”

The hand on your hip smoothed over to the small of your back, the breath of his heavy sigh cooling the crown of your head. “I’m not that easy to kill,” Kylo said, blunt yet gentle.

You ran your hands up his back, surreptitiously searching for damage. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” you mumbled.

A gust of amusement left him, and he teasingly said, “I think a lot of people would disagree with that statement.”

He was… joking? “Nothing physically wrong, then. So why are you here, Kylo?”

He hummed, and the feel of his vibrating chest against your ear was chilling. The hand that rested on the back of your neck toyed with the stray hair there, and just as soon as your eyes lulled shut did they fling back open.

The Force returned with unyielding, unforgiving strength. It laved and pushed and whirled through your cunt, and you shuddered against Kylo and he held you to him, trapped you against him while you yipped and squealed and bit back wanton moans.

“I can’t just come see you?” Kylo rumbled, and you could hear the smirk he now wore. “It has been such a long, boring day, what with you ordering me against training for the foreseeable future, so I thought I’d pay a visit to my little nurse.” He sighed a low chuckle. “Thought I’d see how memorable your first day has been.”

Your hands bunched in the material of his outer tunic, your jaw slack and brow pinched, but through the thick pleasure you found yourself annoyed and… angry.

You were angry with him.

He came here with the intent to toy with you, just as he’d done during your entire shift. The same toying – albeit, much more vehement now – that caused you to be publicly reprimanded and shamed not even an hour ago. It made you feel so worthless, so unimportant that he hadn’t considered that you wouldn’t want to do this with him right now. Even worse was the fact you thought he was hurt or so much worse when your watch had alerted.

It felt like he didn’t care how these shifts would affect your trial. It felt like he hadn’t given a second thought to summoning you here, like he didn’t consider that you’d lose your mind at the thought of something worse happening to him as the events of Starkiller occurred not even two weeks ago.

“Kylo,” you warned, but it came out on a lusting breath. “Kylo, stop.”

“Is that another one of your orders you seem to be so keen on today? In that case…”

The Force shifted, and while it kept a masterful pattern on your clit, you now felt it move inside you, pushing into you just as his thick, heavy cock would. But the Force grew, it stretched you and you felt it deep, deepinside. A pitiful wheeze jolted from your lungs, and when your knees quivered, Kylo only pressed you harder into his massive, broad body, the Force filling you with relentless strokes.

“Kylo, stop it. Stop it, now,” you panted, your voice rising a pitch when you felt the frays of pleasure tickle along your nerves. You didn’t want to cum, not for him, not right now when he’d made you so livid.

“You should be begging me to let you cum, not for me to stop” he hummed, a note of uncertainty present in his tone. “Why are you fighting me on this?”

“Because I don’t want to do this with you!”

The exclamation ripped through your throat, your nails nearly shredding through his thick tunic, and as you prepared to be drowned in the ecstasy of orgasm, the Force left you. It all stopped, and all you knew in that moment was that you were relieved he listened to you. Relieved he stopped and recognized that this wasn’t an empty plea born from a pleasure high. Recognized you were serious.

As you calmed, still holding tight to him, you felt the absence of his touch, and the room went completely still around you. It didn’t even seem like Kylo was breathing, or he was and it was disconcertingly quiet and insidious.

You took your hands from him and stepped away, seeing you were in a nondescript assessment room, a simple exam table in its center and a set of windows peering out toward the bay. The sun was slowly sinking toward the water now, casting the cabinet-lined walls with rich orange and purple hues. Only now did you realize the lights weren’t on, the panic you’d entered the room with quick to steal your attention from such details.

As you took another step back, wiping your face with the backs of your hands, you turned your focus back to Kylo. You were mad at him. He didn’t get to throw a fit right now. You did.

But before you could start, Kylo spoke, his voice deathly and haunted as he did. “Then who do you want to do this with?”

“What are you talking about, Kylo?”

“You said you didn’t want to do this with me. That implies there is another who you would rather be doing this with.” His face was forged in impenetrable steel, and yours was warped with exasperated confusion.

“Yeah, I don’t want to do this with you. Fuck, no I don’t want to fuck you right now. I don’t want to be fucked by you right now.”

He was entirely off base, and it sent a wave of quiet outrage through you that he couldn’t see why you were so angry with him.

He ground his teeth together, so hard it seemed likely he would crack a molar. The scarred side of his face hitched in a snarl when he whispered, “The physician, right? That would make the most sense. You wanted to fuck him before.”

“Hey!” you barked, stomping a pace toward him, utterly dumbfounded by how he was missing the point. “You don’t get to call me a slut. You know what? You don’t get to be mad right now. You don’t get to imply that I want to fuck anyone other than you just because your fragile ego can’t take that I don’t want to fuck you right now, that I don’t want you to touch me right now because…”

Thoughts were somehow coming too quickly and leaving too soon as you floundered in front of him. When you didn’t speak, when your hands grasped for the words that you couldn’t find, your eyes settled on the rigid flow of his breathing. And then lower to the fists at his sides, flexing and unflexing as the room settled into silence.

“You don’t get to be mad,” you said, and it was a quiet murmur from your lips but the room around you boomed as they left you. “You don’t get to be mad right now because I…” And it took a final moment, one where his eyes lit at the threat of more silence, but you finally understood what you were feeling. “You don’t get to be mad right now because I am more than your fuck toy.”

“Of course you are—,”

“No!” you interrupted, flinging a hand just inches from his chest. “You talk so much about how I need you and how I need to trust you first, but how can I when you won’t respect… me?”

Kylo’s nostrils flared, and you saw the heave of breath that left him, but he kept quiet. So you continued. “You don’t respect me. Or maybe you do and you just suck at showing it. Because you called me here, you alerted me that there was something wrong and I thought you were dead, alright? I thought you were hurt and that you were bleeding out and that if I didn’t get to you in time that you were going to die and that it would be my fault.”

“I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong,” he said, voice laden with visceral restraint.

“And that’s the whole problem, don’t you see?” You bored one last stabbing glare into his eyes, and then rage clutched at your chest. A whiny, tired roar tore through your throat. “I’m such a joke. I… I can’t do anything. I’ve lost so much time and opportunity being assigned to you that I never learned how to do anything right! And you don’t care! You don’t care that I’m working under a preceptor who graduated the same month I did. You don’t care that I’m here, working unpaid shifts so I can prove to the Board that even if I’m unfit for practice, I am still worthy of life.”

Breath burned your throat, but it never seemed to fill your lungs. Kylo glared at you, a cold, flat expression dulling his features. You didn’t care. He needed to hear this. You needed to say it.

“I sprinted here from the Infirmary, and all I could think about was that I couldn’t lose you. That I wouldn’t live in a world where I wasn’t with you.” His brow narrowed at that, but you couldn’t stop. “And when I got here and you were okay, I felt like I could breathe again. But then you start with your Force-fucking bullshit and made me realize that you will never take me seriously. None of this will ever matter to you – not the fact that I won’t ever practice again, not the fact that you caused me to miss an IV, not the fact that that got me humiliated in front of a whole floor of staff who will forever know me as Kylo Ren’s Provider, the girl with the red embroidery and the too-short uniform.”

You hadn’t noticed, but your hand had gone to trace the embroidery you’d just mentioned, and when you flung your hand away, you saw a flicker of something unfamiliar in Kylo’s eyes.

A bitter, cold laugh croaked out of you. “Do you know who I’m working under? Does the name Calliope Silvren sound familiar to you?” You eyed him, and when he didn’t speak, you nearly barked at him, “Do you know who she is, Kylo?”

“No,” he said, and it sounded like the truth, but it didn’t matter to you if it was or not.

“Calliope Silvren is everything I was supposed to be. She’s everything I’m not, and… and she’s the one you are supposed to be fucking!”

“What are you talking about?” He ended the question with a tense cut of your name.

“Because I was your little fascination, right?” You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the thought as your vision blurred with tears. “I was nothing more than a game to you, and she was the one who was supposed to be assigned to you.” Gulps of breath hiccupped in your throat. “She wouldn’t have gotten herself into this situation!” The heels of your hands dug into your eyes, and you realized you were trembling. “Calliope fucking Silvren wouldn’t have taken the blood from that fridge, and she wouldn’t have fucked her Commander! Calliope fucking Silvren wouldn’t have named a stormtrooper and she wouldn’t have gotten raped and she wouldn’t have killed anyone!”

Something hard and cold cracked across your knees, and your hands fell out in front of you. The floor. Your legs had given out and you were sobbing uncontrollably on the sterile, frigid floor.

With a stuttering chest, you hugged your knees and cried into them. “I was never supposed to be here, none of this was supposed to happen. I was supposed to graduate and work in the Stormtrooper Hub and live a boring, mundane life.” Crushing pain flooded your chest, and your next words were nastier than you meant them to be. “A boring, mundane life where I fucked the physician until the day I died.” You looked up at him, then, and he was only a blurry outline of black and orange and purple. “Because that’s what I am to you, right? Just some slut who fucks all the men in her life.”

You scraped at your wet, burning eyes and a sob hitched in your throat. Kylo looked down at you, and you could feel the violent emotion that lived in his blackened eyes. But he said nothing, and when the silence pressed into you, the thought that came to mind was too loud to keep inside.

But that riotous thought came out on the meager dying breath of a whisper. “If your biggest concern right now is that I want to fuck Mason, then I have… I have deluded myself into believing that you care for me. That you ever cared for me.” The truth of it burned your tongue, and your chest ached for the death of the future you’d come running for.

Kylo didn’t look away from you for a long moment, and though he remained guarded, you saw something tense in his eyes. It wasn’t anger but sorrow. Sorrow and fear hidden behind a cracked mask. But then the notch in his throat moved and he turned away.

Anticipating his departure, you shut your eyes and braced yourself for the hydraulic hiss. Memories of the past few months flooded your mind’s eye, and you questioned if all this time it had been one-sided and imagined. The idea tore through you, and your chest hollowed when you thought of all the times you’d considered so dear could have only been ploys so he could control you, so he’d have access to his little fascination whenever he wanted.

The storm of thoughts overwhelmed you, but when you heard a drawer-release in the distance, muffled by the blood pounding through your skull, you lifted your head and opened your eyes to find Kylo hadn’t left. He was looking at you from across the room, his face haunted with a stabbing emotion you couldn’t quite place. His hands, glove-free now, held something, and when you caught view of it Kylo started toward you.

He didn’t stop until he stood just a stride in front of you, and when you stared up at him you saw his jaw was set, yet anger remained absent from him, still that sorrowful fear, but now it was softer, yielding. He took a silent breath, his shoulders rising evenly, and then you gasped and jolted upright as he folded himself to the floor before you and sat.

You gulped, gawking at him, noting he held an… IV starter kit?

“What are you doing?” you asked, taking in how awkward his massive form looked as he sat with his legs open and his knees slightly bent.

He said nothing, dropping the IV kit to the floor between his legs and proceeding to unclasp and shrug off the top layers of his uniform. He watched his hands while doing so, allowing you to observe him without the weight of his eyes pressing into you. He kept his eyes away until his chest was bare and you saw his biceps flex and flow as he placed the last of his clothing to the side.

Kylo picked up the sealed kit with one hand and your own in his other. He clasped the kit into your palm and pinned you with his gaze. “You are not a fascination,” he stated, clarity ringing in his voice.

He dropped your hand, only after squeezing it between his own, and then gripped the sides of your thighs and pulled you between his spread legs. You swallowed, heart thumping hard when he positioned your face just a breath from his.

He never looked away from you, and you couldn’t take your eyes from his, so when he next spoke you felt each powerful word kiss your cheeks and sink into your soul. “You are the light that has shown me my way.”

All at once, your heart stopped. Words refused to form. The harsh knit of his brow softened, and he lifted his forearm to rest on his flexed knee. With an unsteady, almost nervous emotion, he said, “You have not deluded yourself,” your name was a faint yearn off his tongue. “I care for you.”

He held his palm open and up, and the tips of his fingers played with the tab of the kit still resting in your hand, slight tremors coursing through your fingers. “Make this even. Use this,” he nudged the plastic container again, “and right the wrong I caused.”

It took a moment for your mouth to catch up with your brain, and when you finally spoke, your voice was small and weak. “I don’t know what you think will be proven by me placing an IV in your arm.”

“Just do it,” he urged, “because this won’t work unless you trust me, and-,”

“I can’t trust you if you don’t tell me what “this” is, Kylo,” you said, and it was louder than you’d meant for it to be. But you peeled open the kit and scooted back from Kylo so you could begin prodding at his arm for a good vein.

As you looked, finding bountiful fat, bouncy, obvious veins poking just under his skin, you felt him watching you. He pumped his hand a few times, and the sight of his veins and muscles swirling and popping dizzied you for a moment, a steady pulse now throbbing between your thighs. When your fingers danced down one particular vein, the one you’d admired while he slept this morning, you pressed against its spongey prominence and trailed it all the way down to his wrist.

“Your veins are literal artwork,” you sighed, but you hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

There was a fragment of amusement in Kylo’s brow, but he brushed over your compliment like you wished he would. “If I tell you what “this” is, “this” won’t work.”

“Then I guess I won’t trust you,” you said, sassy and defiant.

“Mm, that won’t work for either of us,” he rumbled, and you wanted to slap him for his sly tone.

You flicked his vein and reached for the kit, but there were no gloves, and you needed a saline flush. And an alcohol wipe. “You know, it’s a bad look when you come ill-prepared for any procedure,” you said, looking at him before standing and searching for your supplies, “it makes you look like you have no idea what you’re doing.” Once you had what you needed, you gave him a pointed stare as you walked back to him, looking down at him as you said, “It creates a lack of trust between patient and provider.”

There was that whispered amusement in his brow again, the same in the set of his mouth. “What happens if the provider doesn’t trust the patient?”

“Then the patient gets a dose of Ativan and goes to sleep so the provider can do her job effectively.” You knelt within the cradle of his hips again and repositioned his arm so you had better access to it. Using the cleanser provided in the kit, you scrubbed his arm, a bit more forcefully than you needed to, but it wouldn’t hurt him. And if it did… so be it.

You could feel the humor he found in your feisty comments. It irked you. You continued, staring him dead in the eye while you snapped the rubber tourniquet above his elbow. “Or if the chemical restraint isn’t appropriate, there’s always good old-fashioned mechanical ones.”

“Is that what you want to do to me, nurse?” Kylo purred, and even though it was infuriating that he was leaning into your anger, the tone of his voice made your legs quiver. “You want to tie me up and have your way with me?” Kylo hummed and it went straight to your center. “Seems like I’d have to trust my provider for that to occur.”

“You have no reason not to trust your provider,” you said blandly, priming the extension tubing with saline.

“And what do blatant lies do to your all-important patient-provider relationship?”

That stopped you. And what squeezed something deep in your heart were the hard eyes you found when looking back to him. You swallowed a gasp, your throat bobbing harshly. “What are you saying?”

“You know what I’m saying.” There was a cautious chill to his tone, like he fully believed what he was alluding to.

It wilted your insides. “You think I lie to you? You think I’ve lied to you?”

“You have. Many times. You’re lying to me even now.” Without taking his eyes from yours, Kylo nudged the open IV kit. “Continue. You’re getting to my favorite part.”

“I’m not going to continue. I can’t. Not after you tell me you… tell me you think I’m lying to you.”

“Continue and I’ll explain.” He was all too casual for what he was saying, and the half-grin he gave you was more alarming than comforting. “A compromise.”

A deep breath did nothing to fill your lungs, but you gave him a small nod and turned back to his arm. The tourniquet had been on for a while, and you’d rather not bruise your pride further from a blown vein so you released the knot.

“I’m letting those veins rest for a few minutes.” You swallowed, tugging at your bottom lip with your teeth. “Explain, I guess.”

Again, he didn’t look angry with you, and you didn’t know what to think of the firm calmness he was exhibiting. But he tightened his jaw for a moment and began.

“To start, the first night you were assigned to me. You weren’t there. And I’m sure you remember the outcome of that.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you remembered him pulling your head back as water rocketed down your throat, burning your lungs. A shiver slid down your back. “I apologized for that. And it technically wasn’t a lie, as I explained that same night. Your ship got back early.”

“And then the time you stumbled in drunk in the middle of the night.” He went on as if you hadn’t said anything, and you swore there was a faint fond smile tugging at his lips.

“I apologized for both of those occurrences. And, in my defense, you hadn’t shown up for curfew until the night I got home late. You were never there, not when I got home and not when I left for the medbay. I didn’t see you for a week.”

“But I saw you,” he said, and it struck you silent. “My training with Snoke was unpredictable, but I always found myself… checking to see if you were there. It was always in the early hours of the morning when I got back, so you were sleeping.” He swallowed hard before he spoke again, like he didn’t want to admit whatever it was. “I liked seeing you so peaceful. You were never peaceful around me.”

You stared at him in awe, the tourniquet limp in your hand, and no words dared come to mind as he continued.

“So when you weren’t there the night I’d finally made it home before midnight, something in me… I realized that you’d started to mean something more to me. More than the fascination I thought you were.” His eyes were practically burning now, and your heart squeezed tight in your chest. “And then I carried you to your bed and saw you’d kept my cape from the previous week. And I knew if I allowed myself to let you keep it, that I’d be permitting whatever I felt then to give into that more. So I took the cape, and I decided that would be the end of it.” His throat bobbed. “I wanted that to be the end of it.”

Truthfully, your head was swimming in all he was saying. You didn’t know how to deal with it, and you found yourself staring at the floor, thinking back to that night a few months back, thinking about how you’d wanted him to stay. And now it was more haunting, knowing that he’d felt similar to you then, and you’d just accused him of never caring for you.

Kylo’s large hand came into view and tugged gently on the limp tourniquet threaded through your fingers. “My veins have rested long enough. Continue.”

The weight of his eyes was back and it took a moment to take yours away and focus back on his arm. Sitting between his legs was… nice, but it would be awkward angling a needle from this position. So you fixed yourself to straddle his thigh, sitting back on your heels and resting his hand palm-up on your thigh.

“Comfortable?” Kylo asked, and you heard his slight grin in the word.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, extremely aware of the heat of his leg pressing against your sex, against the pair of briefs you took from him this morning.

“I thought you wanted me to explain?”

You sucked your teeth and snapped the tourniquet in place in the same second. A low chuckle rumbled from Kylo, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks, so confused by his casual demeanor.

Gliding a gloved finger along your chosen vein, you whispered, “Continue,” before activating the cleansing sponge and scrubbing along his arm vigorously.

His nails brushed along your inner thigh and you swallowed a gasp, but when you grabbed the needle, he spoke up. “When we got back to Starkiller, and you chose to stay in the medbay after seeing what that stormtrooper had done.” Kylo broke off, deep, seething anger simmering along the mention of Robbie. “The next morning I found you’d slept there, completely open to harm from anyone who wanted to cause it—”

“Those doors are coded to badge access. I was fine.”

“So was your residence, but he found a way, didn’t he?” The harshness of his tone stole your focus, and you found his set jaw and knew that harshness wasn’t for you, but for the one he spoke of. “You weren’t safe and when I found you’d slept there that night, I was…”

Kylo looked at you with hard eyes, and you thought you knew what he wanted to say – or what he couldn’t say, really. “You were… concerned?”

“No,” he said, “I was enraged.” He swallowed. “Not with you, or that stormtrooper. With myself.”

The intensity of his gaze was too much, so you looked down and turned the bevel of the needle upward and began to angle it against his skin. “Why,” you whispered, voice a mere rasp.

“Because I should have killed him the moment we landed back on Starkiller.”

The words boomed through the small room, the rich violet of the sinking sun curling around the chilled tone of Kylo’s voice. A halo of fire lit his folded frame from behind, and you thought it matched that which now lived in the molten amber of his eyes. You realized in that moment that Kylo blamed himself for Robbie, and he’d just told you a truth he’d known for a long time.

You went to speak, but his other hand came to the one you grasped the needle with and pressed so the metal tip advanced beneath his skin. A curse fell from your agape mouth when his touch left and you saw blood return, advancing the IV catheter quickly and watching as crimson threatened to spill out. You released the tourniquet and fumbled with the extension tubing, securing it and flushing the vein with saline, something of pride and relief spreading through your chest as you met no resistance.

The next steps went by quickly – clamping the tubing, placing the transparent dressing over top, securing with extra tape, and slipping off your gloves – but you felt Kylo’s eyes on you the whole time. He was patient, and he shifted his leg and made you wince as it hit just the right spot, so when you finished gathering your trash and looked up again, you didn’t expect to find him with an expression of such… fondness. Still tense, but strong and unyielding, reverent almost.

“What he did to… to me, it is not your fault, Kylo.” You clasped your hand over his that rested on your thigh.

“It’s not your fault,” Kylo corrected, and you knew he meant it. He squeezed your hand and pulled you nearer, his leg pressing into that bundle of nerves and making you shiver. “And maybe it’s not mine either, but that doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to kill him.”

“Why does that matter?”

He took a long pause and sighed, searching your eyes and looking at your lips when he said, “I shouldn’t have cared that he hurt you, or that he took you out in the first place. I shouldn’t have cared that you didn’t consider that I would have kept you safe, or that I would have wanted you with me that night and not alone on a freezing exam table.” He swallowed. “And I should never have cared so much that you went to McCarty the next night, even when you’d agreed to come to me.”

You licked your lips, unsure when you said, “I was scared that the Board would see me on surveillance. You knew that.”

“Yes,” he said and huffed out something that resembled a tired laugh. “I knew that and yet I still wanted you with me. Because I am selfish and consider you something of an invaluable piece of me.”

A piece of him, you thought, dizzied by the outpouring of truth he was allowing. You skated your thumb along the veins of his hand, heart racing as the sun continued to set behind him. In a whisper, you asked, “But why should you have never cared about… those things? I… I like that you cared about them.”

He leaned into you after a slow second, and his forehead met yours. His breath warmed your face before he said, “I should never have cared about them because it meant that I cared about you. That I care about you.” He said, and when you gasped you felt him shudder. “I care about you, and that makes you a pawn in games you aren’t even aware of. And that isn’t your choice. It is wholly unfair to you for me to make you a target for my enemies.”

“I think I know at least one of the games I’m a pawn in,” you said, voice so shaky you could barely recognize it. He stilled, and you took one hand from his and grasped the back of his neck, threading your fingers through his sun-emblazoned hair. “And Kylo, what if it is my choice?”

“Then I am every bit the monster people know me to be.” Kylo said it more to himself, and you wondered why he sounded so haunted in that moment.

“You’re not a monster, Kylo. At least, you aren’t my monster.”

“No, you killed him.”

“Yes,” you swallowed, and you couldn’t help the hesitance that crept into your voice. “I did.”

Kylo lifted his head from yours then, and you knew he wanted you to keep your eyes on his as he said, “I say that because it’s true and you shouldn’t feel shame for doing so. I told you I wanted to kill him, but I didn’t know how satisfying it would be to hear you say you’d done it yourself.”

“You’re proud that I killed him?”

“I am proud that you did not hesitate.” He swallowed, eyes haunted once more. “I am proud that you recognized your enemy, and you knew what it would take to beat him.”

You didn’t say a word, but you nodded, sliding your hand from his nape to his chest. You searched his eyes as he looked down to where his hand was, and you felt his fingertips find the raised, off-color skin of the initials he’d branded you with. He knit his brow just slightly, and you moved your hand to cup his scarred cheek. He spent several more seconds gazing at the scar he’d given you, but his gaze found yours soon enough.

“I’ll tell you something that I shouldn’t like.” His eyes narrowed a small measure. With the pad of your thumb running along the curve of his healing scar, the black-and-white stitching still there but lesser, you admired him for a long, quiet moment. He continued to trace along your scar, and his leg shifted again, your breath catching before you could stop it.

“You told me you like my scars already.”

A slight smile tilted your lips to the side, but you spoke with little amusement when you whispered, “I like my scar, too.”

Kylo went utterly still, and then he slid his hand up so his heated palm closed over the raised letters on your thigh. “When I did this, I didn’t know…”

“You weren’t supposed to know,” you murmured, and your heart sank to your gut as memories of that horrid day flooded back, images of Snoke’s mangled existence, echoes of Mason’s pained screams ringing through your commlink.

“I could have known.” Again there was no anger in his tone, but something aching, regretful almost.

You brushed a few stray curls back from his face and smoothed a thumb along his temple. “Snoke would have killed Mason. He was monitoring your thoughts that entire day. I had no choice. I told you this yesterday.”

“And as I told you earlier, I am selfish.” He shrugged his shoulders slightly at the same moment you felt his thumb swipe the inside of your thigh. “You could have told me, right after you’d met with him. That’s why you weren’t home when I returned, wasn’t it?” You nodded and he went on. “I should have known something was wrong the second you got back to the Finalizer residence.”

“No you shouldn’t have. That’s the point—”

“No, the point is that you don’t trust me.”

“No, the point is that I couldn’t tell you or imply anything was wrong because Mason—”

“I do not care about McCarty,” Kylo nearly barked, but it was a reined in response by the way his voice lowered at the end. “I don’t care about anyone apart from you, and no matter how duty-bound you felt to protect your friend, you should have come to me.”

“And what would you have done but gotten him killed and risked my life in the process?”

“I will never risk your life,” Kylo seethed, his hand clamping over the scar he’d made. “But that’s the one thing you’re willing to gamble away at any sign of trouble for others, isn’t it?”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything, I’m only speaking the truth when I say that you are so focused on trying to save everyone around you, that you fail to see how often you jeopardize yourself.” His nostrils flared, but the grip on your thigh lightened, and you didn’t feel threatened by him at all. “I have to be selfish because you will always be recklessly selfless.”

“And is that such a bad thing? I’ve saved two people, three if you count yourself, while being oh so recklessly selfless.”

Kylo’s face fell into incredulity. “And you now have the sweet promise of three more weeks with a pulse. And the added bonus of a chancefor more, but with the swift revocation of your license for however long you live afterward.”

The truth stung, but not quite so much as it did coming from him. “So, what? I should stop helping people?”

“I will never ask that of you,” he stated. “But I do ask that you not get yourself killed in the process.”

“Like you said, it’s probably too late for that.”

He looked at you hard and long, chewing his tongue. His eyes narrowed and he swallowed, staring at you with a thousand thoughts whirling in his gaze. He cleared his throat and fixed his features so he was no longer studying you so much as he was admiring you. Sultry eyes landed on your lips, and the hand over your thigh tightened, his other coming to mirror over your remaining thigh. He reared his leg upward and you yelped as the sudden friction settled into your clit, your torso slamming into the hard muscle of his chest so your arms were flung around his neck.

Kylo shifted you over his thigh, inching you up and back over the hard, thick muscles. His head turned so you felt his nose trace over the shell of your ear, his lips catching your ear lobe for a moment before you sighed from the pleasure of his movements.

He let you breathe for a moment, your fingers dipping into the curl of hair at his nape, his warm breath heating your neck. “Are you trying to distract me?”

“Not entirely,” he rumbled, his thigh inching up another measure, his hands pulling, grinding you against him. A small, contented moan fled your lips when another rush of heat coiled in your belly. “But if I were, I’d say I’m doing a good job of it.”

Your hips shifted of their own volition, a seethe rushed past your teeth, and you felt the day’s torture rush up all at once. Hours and hours of being led and teased with the Force, withstanding Kylo’s earlier intentions to catapult you into ecstasy. Being so close to him now, the heat of his bare chest sinking through the material of your uniform, your thighs straddled against the muscles he’d trained over years and years – you felt yourself giving into his touch.

And maybe it was because of everything he’d just told you, but you felt… better about allowing him to pleasure you now. There was less of an overarching sense that you were nothing but a toy for him. The idea of giving into him now, letting yourself go and enjoying the feel of his massive form under you, it felt good. It felt different from before, and even though you still had questions, mostly pertaining to why he was here in the first place, you knew you wouldn’t deny yourself or him any longer.

As you held onto him, he rocked you back and forth along the length of his thigh, rubbing you just right, keeping a sweet pace and listening as you let out tiny gasps from each synchronized roll of your hips.

“I was angry that I’d allowed myself to feel so much,” he breathed onto your neck as he kept his pace with your hips. “I couldn’t stand the thought that I meant nothing to you, that I was nothing to you.” You felt the flicker of orgasm as your body began to tense, his words an urging caress. “So I marked you as my own, and I watched you bear the pain of it in near silence. I wanted you to react, to scream at me with the shattering rage I knew in that moment. But you didn’t. You were so quiet and still…”

Your arms were going limp around his neck, so you slumped into him. Kylo curled his head further so his lips were pressed against your ear, his voice no louder than the breath of a whisper. “I thought about how just hours before, I’d felt your tears stream down my back, and I couldn’t shake the thought that you’d betrayed me so thoroughly for so long. I was so angry, I couldn’t see you. I couldn’t think of what it meant that you were silent while I cut into you with every ill-intent I felt in that moment. I was blinded by your betrayal, but also my own, because I knew better than to allow myself to get so involved with someone, because I was bested by a weakness that never should have existed. The weakness I created.”

Tendrils of release crept up your chest and you rode the edge of pleasure as your breath panted against his skin and he ground you harder into him. His teeth pulled at your ear lobe and shivers quaked outward along your neck and spine, his touch and words a separate charge toward pleasure.

“You don’t have weaknesses, Kylo,” you panted, barely recognizing your voice. “You are not weak.”

“No, I am not,” he breathed, kissing the hinge of your jaw, “but you are a weakness of mine, a piece of me, and a target because of it.” You whimpered against him as your body sprinted toward sweet release, losing grip on that last fraying string of sanity when Kylo said, his voice ragged and raw, “And I am selfish enough to ask that you trust me. Trust that I will never risk you even though I am a risk to you, because you are an extension of me, and I will defend you as I would my very own flesh and blood.”

In that moment, you felt more than the sexual bliss of orgasm, sinking deeply into the rasped words he’d given life from his tongue, but were born from his heart. His heart that beat so steadily when you lay against it, the heart you’d ran toward so often, even when you hadn’t realized it. Euphoria pulsed through your body as every word and breath he’d just gifted raced around your mind, leaving you to settle into him as you returned to the present.

“Be selfish,” you murmured, breathing heavily. “I will trust you. I do trust you.”

The strength of his arms tight against your back, pulling you into him, was as shocking as it was calming. He was holding onto you, not just holding you, but keeping you to him as tightly and surely as he could.

Through closed eyes you knew the sun would soon be hidden from the sky and taken over by night, but you didn’t care that time was passing. Because as your breath fell into step with Kylo’s own, time might as well have stopped existing.

“Why are you seeing McCarty tomorrow?”

Although the words were quiet, even as he spoke directly against your ear, their sudden presence spread like ice water over your heated skin. It’s not that he spoke with any harsh emotion, just that it shocked the silence you’d been nestled into. The room settled as you took a few more silent moments, but then it occurred to you that you’d never told him that.

“How do you know that I’m seeing him tomorrow?”

Neither of you moved, and you even toyed with a black curl as he said, “I told you I didn’t need to be near you anymore to… sense you.” He sighed, and it melted along the length of your spine. “I heard you at breakfast this morning. Talking to Hux’s provider.”

Swallowing, you braced your hands on his shoulders so you could peel away from him. He didn’t go easily, not tightening his hold but not letting you go either. The palms of your hands pressed gently into the warm skin of his chest, and soon your eyes found his in the faltering light of day. With a kiss of deep purple still hazing through the room, you searched his gaze with your own, and you wondered if the conversation you’d shared with Talia had anything to do with why he was here.

But there was more to that conversation than your plans to see Mason, and you needed to know how much he’d heard. “How does this… sensingthing work? It’s the Force, right?”

Kylo nodded, his hands resting on the curve of your hips. “It’s developed over time. The first time it was like I could hear you speaking right against my ear, but it was like the connection was weak. I could hear you, but it was unclear.”

Slight heat nipped at your cheeks. “It was the morning after I stayed with you on Starkiller, right?” The morning you’d rode your fingers like they were Kylo’s as you wore the briefs he’d put out for you.

“That was a great morning for both of us, I think.”

“I like how easy you’re being right now,” you whispered, and you weren’t sure if you meant to say that aloud.

“I can be hard if you want me to. I am, actually. Very.” A smirk lit his face and he led one of your hands down to the hard press of his prominent erection along the fly of his pants.

“I’m sure we’ll get to that later,” you said, glancing a thumb along his length before placing your hand back on his chest.

“If you’re sure,” he mumbled, and he leaned in to brush his lips against the base of your neck. He pulled away and looked at you, a finger now tracing the length of the “K” etched into your thigh. “Now, though, if I want, I can hear you however far away you are, and it’s like you’re standing next to me.” He cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes, their focus landing on your lips when he said, “I think due to the strengthening of the connection…”

His heart skipped under your palm. It startled you so much you had to stop yourself from flinching. His heart skipped… for me. “Our connection is… stronger now?”

He swallowed, his heart steadied, and he murmured into the dying light, “I want it to be stronger.”

“Why? If you can hear me clearly, why would it need to be strengthened?”

Kylo lifted a hand so it smoothed over one side of your face and found its way to the nape of your neck. “I can hear your words, what you say out loud and to others. But not your thoughts. Never your thoughts.” His expression was far away for a moment, his thumb pressing idle circles along the length of your throat. “Sometimes, though, I feel what you feel. Only recently.”

“What I feel?”

“Strong emotions, mostly.” Kylo continued to stare over your shoulder, and something dark and dangerous settled in his jaw when he paused. “The first time I could recognize it for what it was – recognize it was you– was just before Starkiller fell. It was right after I’d been struck. I remember blinking up, blinking blood out of my eye as I was flat on my back willing myself to get up, and through the pain of my injuries came this surge of…” His nose scrunched, and his lip lifted into something of a snarl. “It felt like I was on fire. Not my face or my side. But like the Force was burning through my whole body. And then I heard you, like you were screaming right next to me, and you were screaming at someone to get off of you.”

Kylo paused, his chest entirely still, like breathing was hard where his mind had taken him. His hand dropped from your nape and absently curled around your wrist, toying with the band of your watch. The pad of your thumb drew slowly along his sternum, and you watched the warm amber of his irises drown in a stark, frigid black.

“And then I wasn’t burning. I felt my own injuries again, and I was no longer trying to move. I was laid out on my back, Starkiller crumbling all around me, and the only thought I had was that…” Kylo shuddered, the hand around your wrist stilled, and his jaw hardened to steel. “I thought you were dead. And I didn’t know why, but that thought stalled me. I should never have cared for you, but especially not then, not when I thought you’d betrayed me.”

Kylo looked at you then, the very last remnants of the sun a muted halo behind him, and whatever breath remaining in your lungs fled under his searing gaze. “I sent a signal to your watch, but that burning didn’t come back.” He swallowed. “You were dead, and I couldn’t… I wouldn’t move. I knew I had to, but all I did was fall into the absence of that burning. The absence of you.”

Once more you thought of how Kylo had looked at you in the dark of the Command Shuttle, remembered how you thought it was wonder or shock. With an ember of breath you croaked, “You thought I was dead.” Such a redundant statement, but you said it and you felt the haunt of that awed expression die away. “You thought I was dead, but then…”

“Then you were there, and I thought I had died.” Kylo slid his hand up your palm and clasped his fingers around yours, squeezing tight and pressing it to the middle of his chest. Just above his heart. “But then I heard your voice again, but it was different. You weren’t in my head, but you were with me. I tried to reach out to you, but I couldn’t. I warred in my mind until I realized you were there, but I wasn’t.”

“The coma.” Kylo had tried to reach out to your voice. You’d thought he hated you then, that he wouldn’t want to be violated by the one who had wounded him so deeply. He told you he’d heard you days ago, but knowing he wantedyou there, even if he never said otherwise – it struck through to your soul.

“I could just barely feel your hands. I heard everything you said and it was agony. To be there, listening to you blame yourself, hearing the guilt and pain in your voice – and not be able to do anything? It felt like I was burning from the inside out.”

Before you could process it, a hand was behind your nape and your mouth was against his. It wasn’t a violent kiss, no thrashing tongues or frantic lips; rather, it was a kiss full of dead regrets and roiling anguish. Kylo claimed your mouth in a slow, steady pace set by a war between pain and need. It was a kiss of mourning and grief.

His lips left yours but only enough so when you breathed, yours would glance off of them. He panted and swallowed, and the hand keeping yours to his chest spread your fingers so you could feel the deep, steady thump of his heart beneath them.

“But that moment, it was me burning, not you. Just before you left, when I felt your lips on mine and pleaded with my body to finally come back to me, your presence was like a salve. It found me through the darkness, and it calmed me, quieted the flames roaring in my mind, and it steadied me.”

As close as he was, he found your eyes, and you felt them sink deeply into your own. “You couldn’t have given me more,” he kissed your name to your lips, “because when I woke up, when I found my body and felt the braids, it was all real to me. You were real to me.” Kylo paused, breathed, and his heart skipped beneath your hand. “You couldn’t have given me more. You were alive. There will never be anything more than that.” He kissed you again, and this time it was hungry, ravenous as he stole your breath and claimed your mouth. “It was everything. It is everything.”

Words were thick in your throat, heavy in your mind, but the whole of what came from your parted lips, between the soft pants of breath that fell from them as he continued to nod his own full mouth into yours, were sighs and gasps of contentedness. In his arms, right now, after all was said and all was done, you thought for a moment that should you have died, you would have gone happily.

It was a feat to pull away from him, but you did, and you watched as the purple and orange of the sun wasted away behind him. “I am seeing Mason tomorrow because he’s letting me grab some clothes for the trial. And he’s been weird since Starkiller. And weirder since getting to Canto Bight. I know you don’t like him much, but he’s important to me, and I need to talk to him.” Kylo’s lashes lowered after his heavy gaze pulled away from you, the hand on your nape going back to trace the scar on your thigh. “Is that why you really came here? Because you overheard me this morning talking about visiting him?”

For a moment he remained quiet, the faintest touch of his fourth finger kissing your skin, but he looked up to you and found your eyes. “I’m here because you were still concerned with the Board, and even Hux, and knew if that was true, that it would also be true that you hadn’t listened to me. That you still didn’t trust me.”

“Kylo—”

“I should never have expected you to trust me so blindly, not after I’ve given you countless reasons not to.” He swallowed then, something of an apology knitting his brows together. “But for your own safety, you cannot know everything—”

“About the elusive “this” you keep referencing?”

“Yes,” he said, and his voice was clear and adamant. “By whatever means, you will survive this trial. Trust in that.”

“Okay,” you said, and you meant it. He’d said a lot today. It was enough. For now, at least. “But may I propose something that maybe you haven’t thought of?”

With a deep, cleansing breath, you took both his hands and dropped them in your lap, dismounting his leg and once more settling in the cradle of his thighs, propped on your knees as you met him with an unfaltering stare. “I will trust you, but you have to trust me back.” You trailed a finger over the secured IV you’d placed. “Trust me with more than your body. Trust me… wholly.”

Kylo seemed off-put by the thought of that, and he studied you for long, seemingly eternal minutes; he looked conflicted, like he was weighing every outcome of what that meant. When you thought he wouldn’t answer, he cleared his throat and said, “I’ve done that before.”

He had, you knew that, but you needed to say something before he decided he wouldn’t do so again. “And the only reason you stopped was because Snoke weaponized me, used me to get to you so he can have you in his arsenal, at his expense whenever he wants. You are more than that, Kylo. More than his or anyone’s to use. Do not let him win. Not again. Not anymore.”

His jaw steeled as each of your hard words met their mark with deadly precision. And when he spoke next, his tongue was a blade, his tone a sharp, unyielding promise. “He’s already lost. He just doesn’t know yet.”

“So it’s settled. I trust you, you trust me.”

There was hesitance, but he gave a single, curt nod. His brows knit for a moment and then his features seemed to soften. “I can get you clothes. Although, I do prefer you without them.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, but you knew what he was doing, and as endearing as it was, you wouldn’t yield to him on this. “I’m seeing Mason tomorrow, and no amount of dirty words or pretty clothes will change my mind.” You notched a brow. “You’ll just have to trust me, I guess.”

“Already abusing your power,” he purred, and he pulled you into him so your legs opened and splayed over his hips and behind him. “Don’t make me regret this decision.” His tongue traced along your carotid, followed by the plush press of his lips. “At least, not so soon.”

He pushed a hand into your hair and turned your neck to the side, sucking the tender skin until he surely left a mark. His teeth skated along the hinge of your jaw, his lips trailing up your chin until his skillful tongue pushed past the seam of your mouth. It found yours and led you into a breathtaking whirl of sensation. You moaned into him, loving his weighted breath, feeling his cock harden beneath, growing as you rolled your hips into him.

He hummed, slipping his tongue away and sucking your bottom lip, your hands leading into his thick, midnight locks as the room settled in the darkness of night. He nudged his nose into you and teased your lips again, chuckling as you leaned into his efforts and chased his toying mouth.

“Tell me one more thing,” he hummed, and his tone was decadent and rich, a pulse of heat lighting between your legs.

“Anything, Kylo,” you sighed, finally catching his mouth and biting his bottom lip.

“Were you going to mention that your friend is pregnant with the General’s illegitimate kid, or were you hoping I didn’t catch onto that part of your talk this morning?”

Well. If anything was going to kill the mood, that was it.

“You know,” you sighed, bracing yourself on his shoulders and pulling out of his embrace, “as much as I dislike General Hux, mentioning him doesn’t count as dirty talk.”

Kylo chuckled deep in his chest, and his mouth was twisted in a lopsided smirk. He insisted again, not a fowl note in his voice, “Were you going to tell me?”

“It wasn’t my news to tell.” You shoved his shoulder. “And it’s not yours either, understand?”

“Really? I was looking forward to congratulating him and sharing a few cigars with the father-to-be.” You shoved him again and he laughed, appearing so young as he put his hand atop yours and traced his thumb over the back of your hand. “I don’t plan on telling him. And I don’t care if your friend—”

“You are allowed to call her Talia. You’re also allowed to call him Mason, if you didn’t know.”

“I’m not very fond of being on a first-name basis with someone I don’t plan on ever knowing. As for the physician,” his brow ticked as you frowned at the title he used so often, “I just don’t like him.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I don’t care if Harper”—you smiled at the compromise—“tells him or not. I’d actually find it quite funny if she kept it from him until the very last second. He could use a good kick in the pants.”

“So, you really won’t tell him, then?” You pushed a lock of hair back from his temple with your free hand.

He sighed exaggeratedly, and the next thing you knew, you were in the air and being lifted to sit on the edge of the exam table, Kylo’s hands resting on the tops of your thighs. “No, I won’t tell the General of his bastard lovechild. Or maybe I will,” he raised a teasing brow, “I guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“Oh, really?” you challenged, leading the flat of your hand up the rigid muscles of his chest.

“Really,” he breathed in answer, dipping his head and laving his tongue past your lips, stroking it against your own as his hands caught the hem of your uniform and pulled it from the length of your body.

Your hands lifted for him, and soon you were bare – bare to the cool room, bare to the city that sprawled behind you. Bare to him. The only remaining article was his black briefs. His mouth was on your neck, kissing and biting and sucking along your pulse. Large, bold hands slid down the curved lines of your sides, thumbs petting over your belly. Kylo leaned down to your chest, kissing into the tender flesh, mouthing at the swell of your breast until he pulled a nipple into his mouth and tongued over it, around it, until your head fell back and a long, throaty groan left you.

“I need to taste you,” he breathed, taking his mouth from your breast only for a moment.

A needy hand found the back of his neck, and you pulled him closer as you arched into his mouth, into the heat of his tongue trailing to take your other nipple between his plump, scorching lips. He looked up at you, heated amber seeping into your eyes as you saw his mouth move and felt his tongue draw on the tip of your breast.

Kylo smirked when you shuddered against him, and then his hands left you. There was a metallic squeak, and he popped your breast from his mouth. When you looked down at him next, his eyes were full of mischief and a tantalizing glint that made your heart drop.

Kylo had pulled out a set of stirrups that had been locked beneath the table. And by that damn glint in his eye, you knew his every intention. You knew, too, by that very same glint, you wouldn’t need convincing.

“Trust me?” he asked, and the devil lived in the smirk that spread across his face.

“I probably shouldn’t.”

“Much too late for that.”

Kylo leaned forward like a predator readying to strike. First his mouth found yours, kissing you deeply, his hands cupping the back of your neck. Then, he kissed down to your breasts, tonguing a nipple, looking up at you when he bit down. A rumble rolled in the depths of his chest. Large hands smoothed over the curves of your silhouette, gripped your thighs and led you toward the edge of the table.

He stopped for a moment, his chin skimming your soft belly, his gaze a vice grip on your own. And when he had you positioned as he wanted, his thumbs curled into the briefs’ waistline and he pulled them out from under you. Kylo stopped once he uncovered your sex; keeping his eyes on yours, a tether of pure lust between you, he dipped his head and dragged his nose over your mound. His inhale was self-indulgent, slow and torturous, his eyes slipping back before his lids shut, the smell of you seemingly a drug of the highest potency.

Kylo groaned, inhaling a second time, the fog of his exhale flourishing over your tender, slick flesh. He slipped the briefs free from your legs, holding your ankles in one massive, binding hand.

“As much as I enjoy you wearing what’s mine,” he hummed, a hand under each ankle now, and leaned down to join his nose to the supple skin of your inner thigh, dragging ever closer to the pulse now aching to be attended to, “I admit taking it off you is much more satisfying.” His lips pressed into the sensitive flesh, his hot exhale whispering along the top of you slit. “Ask me why that is.”

Heat was enveloping your body, and your breasts heaved as breath came in short, harsh pants, but when you went to speak, Kylo’s tongue distracted you. Just before the question left your lips, he sucked the skin of your inner thigh and bit down. And as you moaned at the heady sensation – that wondrous pleasure pain – his arm encircled the leg already attended to and blindly placed it into the hard cradle of the stirrup. When it was secure, his hand slinked up the length of your body, grasping your breast while he kissed and sucked and nipped at your left thigh.

“Why,” you breathed out, unsure if you said anything, head spinning impossibly.

“Because,” Kylo crooned, muffled against the tissue he mouthed at, “the clothes are mine, but so are you. And I am undone at the sight of what is mine bared and sprawled for my taking.”

Soft, pretty moans slipped from you when he repeated the process of placing your leg in the second stirrup, his words a sweet poison in your thrumming veins. Once you were settled, and after he’d kissed his way up your calf, he stood between your raised legs – the sight of his purely masculine form laving your nerves with anticipation and lust – and watched, perhaps too intently, as he pushed your legs apart until you were sure you’d split in two.

In the light of fresh dusk, the notch in his throat bobbed, the weight of his gaze settled on the sight of your dripping, desperate cunt. Kylo’s tongue dipped into sight momentarily, glinting when it unthinkingly swept over his bottom lip. His eyes remained steady, the flat of his palms lighting sparks along your inner legs, and you watched as he brushed two long fingers down your folds, parting your sex and slipping through the wetness that was welled there.

Finally, his gaze lifted, the scalding, rich amber of his irises melting into you when the thick tips of his fingers prodded your entrance. Kylo watched you, enthralled, as those fingers sunk into you, deeply, wholly, filling you until you writhed around them.

Eager hips lifted from the table, leveraging the stirrups, guiding him that much deeper. He granted your silent wish, grasping one hip and pulling you forward, leading his fingers back and forth, curling them upward and pressing that oh-so-decadent spot in a paced, torturous pattern. You met him with each thrust, slowly rolling your hips, raising your hands to touch and mold your breasts.

A strong thumb found residence over the aching body of your clit, your answering moan unapologetic and entirely too loud. He rolled his hand over and inside you, stroking and filling you so masterfully that you quickly felt the first stirrings of orgasm.

Right when you were poised to cum, you felt it, felt a third finger push into your cunt, the sensation indulgent and overwhelming. It’s like his hand was lodged so full and far in your body that you could feel him in your throat. Kylo continued stroking your nerve as your hands clutched the edges of the exam table, your back arched and head flung back. The room was filled with sounds of sex, the smell of it too, and it all built on what you knew would be a world-shattering release.

“I feel so full, Kylo,” you moaned.

Before he answered, heat crowded your torso, and the brand of his lips burned the line of your breastbone, the hand that filled you never stalling. “You can take more, though.” His nose nudged the base of your breast, his teeth glancing off of the tender tissue. “You can, and you will.”

He didn’t know what he was saying, because there was no way—

“Oh, fuck,” you mewled, throaty and deep, when you felt a fourth finger fill your brimming cunt. “Kylo, there’s… oh, I can feel you… everywhere. You’re everywhere.”

It was no lie, the flow of his four thick, long fingers deep inside your soaked pussy engulfed every nerve you had, and the way his thumb continued to stroke your clit made it so you felt like your soul would float from your body.

But then that thumb left, Kylo moved down the length of your abdomen, kissing and claiming, until you felt his tongue draw against that bundle of nerves. The hand that grasped your hip anchored your writhing body to the table, but the press of his fingers suddenly deepened. Then, just as suddenly, occurring in the very same breath, you felt his thumb join those other four fingers.

A guttural, animal cry born from the deepest depths of your lungs filled the room and shattered against the night-peering transparisteel. His whole hand, fisted and tight, moved against you, filled you unthinkably, and snapped the last coil of sanity that bound your body and soul. His mouth sucked your clit, his tongue striking you with tight, paced licks.

It was all too much, he was too much – his hand, his mouth – your body bowing from the table, legs shaking and sweaty. Every sensation drenched your skin, every shared word blared through your mind, and ecstasy rushed you with a force that rivaled that which precipitated the fall of Starkiller.

Luminous, you were a nebula at the mercy of a black hole. Though you knew the deep pull of him left you broken and breathless, you found yourself surrendering to it, and it called to you just the same. He blazed with darkness while you drowned him with light; in this moment, neither of you could tell where one ended and the other began.

Slowly, the world around you reentered your thoughts. The sound of heavy, breathless pants spilled from your parted lips. A branding heat covered your front, and your hand had at some point come to tangle into Kylo’s hair, scratching the back of his head in idle patterns. There was a slight ache coming from the now vacant space of where he’d just had his hand, but it was pleasant in a way. You opened your eyes, and you couldn’t help your gasp.

The stars were out tonight. They looked so different from when you were in space, far away yet crowding every inch of the evening sky. Clusters twinkled on one end, groups seemingly traveling together. Every so often, as you spent minutes on your back admiring the night’s speckled beauty, a hazy cloud would drift in and out of view. Some were a dusky orange, others a lush violet that cast such complementary shadow over the backdrop of the star-brimming sky.

“The stars are out,” you murmured, melting into the feel of his weight covering you.

Kylo didn’t say anything, but you felt the soft press of his lips dip into your belly. Then lower, and lower. His actions carried no sexual intent, and you soon learned why.

A certain reverence lived in the hand that brushed over the scar etched into your left thigh. Kylo’s thumb swept over the raised, healed lines of his initials, circling the area over and over again. Soon, the warm breath of his exhales grazed the exposed skin, and you gasped when you felt the familiar touch of his lips.

He kissed the flesh there, a kiss of longing, a kiss full of silent… apology? No, not apology. Not sorrow or remorse. It was a kiss of gratitude, and you thought you could hear the soft murmurings of words too quiet to comprehend just as he pressed his lips again to those two precise etchings that would live on you forever.

You lifted your left leg from the stirrup and led it down his back, hooking it around his hips before leading the other in the same path. He looked at you then, and you leaned up and cupped his jaw in your hands before pulling him up and kissing him softly. He held your waist and lowered his head as you moved your mouth against his.

When your hands led down the pane of his abdomen, you broke away from him and held his eyes in your own. Even with so little light, there was something bright about them now, like the smoking embers of a long-burned fire. The scar that cut through his features was healing, you regarded, and you made a mental note to have a physician remove the black-and-white stitching that remained nestled across his cheek.

His eyes narrowed for a second, but he turned away before you could question it. Kylo took your discarded clothes from the floor and helped you redress. His touch was achingly gentle, such a contrast to what you knew he could do to people with the strength imbedded in his soul. Soon the hooks of your bra were met and the light caress of his briefs returned to your hips. You held your arms up as he slid your uniform over your head and onto your waiting body.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Kylo nodded and began gathering his clothes. You slid from the exam table and slipped your shoes on, wandering to the wall of windows and peering out over the city. It was truly magnificent, especially now that it surrounded you with all the life of night buzzing down below. It carried this silent threat that it could swallow you whole if you allowed it.

Then, from the corner of your eye, you spotted what Quynnland had been staring at so intently. It was closer now, and you could see that it was a large, hollow structure. It was a racing track, like you’d thought, but it was enormous. There was movement inside of it, but even squinting you couldn’t quite catch any detail of what was going on.

Warm hands met your shoulders, and you knew he wore his gloves now. “Why are you staring at the fathier track?”

“Fathiers?” you wondered aloud, leaning into him and clasping a hand over one of his.

“Racing creatures that serve as entertainment to the corrupt wealth that live in this city. Impressive beings, really.” He leaned down and his lips caressed the shell of your ear. “What’s interested you with them?”

“I had a patient today. He told me his brother is there. His kid brother.” You swallowed, offput by the memory of how helpless Quynnland had sounded, had appeared as he told you this. “He asked me to get him away from there.”

Kylo tensed behind you, and a long push of breath fogged the side of your neck. “Always trying to save everyone.”

“I won’t get myself killed. I promise.” You sighed, running your hand down the length of his arm. “Did you take that IV out? You should have let me help.”

“I’m healing, not incapacitated.” Kylo took a step back from you and you turned, seeing him waiting for you at the door. “We should get back to the Consulate. I’m sure your shadow has given her report by now.” A half-smirk pulled his mouth up.

“Why does it look like you think that’s a good thing?” You walked over to him and he activated the door, the two of you stepping out and meandering through unfamiliar halls.

“If he suspects that there is something going on between you and I, Hux would likely use that information when he testifies next week. But, to claim you had inappropriate relations with me would force him to publicly acknowledge that all similar relations between any provider and their assignment are inherently inappropriate…”

Kylo pulled open a door and let you pass, the two of you walking toward a transport docking bay stationed at the top of the medical structure. When you stood in front of a familiar transport, he stopped next to you and you watched as the entrance descended to let you in.

Kylo stepped forward, his boots heavy on the ramp, and he turned and looked at you with features gilded in prideful victory. “As much as Armitage Hux dislikes you and hates me, he is an intelligent man. He would never make himself appear so weak by publicly contradicting himself by shaming you for fucking your assignment when he is actively doing the same with his provider.”

He spoke so powerfully, it was like the night around you had quieted to hear him. You took a breath, all the air having seeped from your lungs under the weight of his adamant eyes. “And you’re sure of that?”

Kylo held out a gloved hand, offered it to you before he said, his voice the deepest caress, “Do you trust me?”

In that moment, with the night cloaking you from the city, with the words he’d earlier spoken echoing around your mind, and the touch he’d painted your body with that was altogether yearning and claiming at once, you knew you did. Wholly and completely, and perhaps too much, you trusted him.

So you took his hand, and you looked up at him with the same strength that lived in his eyes, and said, without a single doubt in your mind, or your heart, “Yes, Kylo. I trust you.”

[i8jisoo]

𝐆𝐎𝐓𝟕 ⇉ got7 with a shy s/o

got7 x reader | scenarios

↬ genre; fluff & tinge of angst

↬ warnings; cursing 

↬ notes; idk what this is lmfao

mark

he's well at talking, so he might be a little offset from your shyness and how quiet you are but he'd come to find out you're just like him— just not in front of many people

mark notices all your tendencies that you have when you get nervous or choke as you continue in a conversation.

he's really patient with you, never pressuring you into talking or doing things you don't wanna do

 he learned his mistake the first time he sent you to order something for him, you coming back with a stressed expression and you looked awfully sad

his heart would instantly be broken and he'd end up ordering for you both, understanding that it was a bit too much for you

"it's alright! not everyone is as forward as others."

jaebeom

he wasn't set off by your shyness, he actually thought it was really cute despite sometimes you were unwilling to talk to his friends or family

he'd be there to urge you to talk to people, helping you with your social skills and helping you ease into talking to his friends

he'll give you little encouraging squeezes around your shoulder or squeezing your hand, letting you know he was there to pick up the conversation when it got awkward

 expect anyone who laughs or says something to have him talking back to them, he won't take that shit, nobody can talk about you.

"it's okay, you can talk to them. i'm right here if you need someone to talk for you."

jackson

jackson actually really loved your shyness, doing what would be the simplest things for him, for you

 he thought of you as a child, much like one who gets shy around adults and hides behind their parent

 you did exactly the same thing— at least every week jackson would feel your stare from behind his back and know that you were feeling shy currently around whomever he was talking to

one day bambam decided to make a joke, discussing how you were always seemed to clutch onto jackson or use him as a blanket when your conversations turned boring, receiving a harsh look from jackson and jaw dropped mouths from the rest

"well, i don't see anyone clutching to you, especially not someone named kunpimook — tell me the same thing when you have someone as cute, shy, and as adorable as my baby."

jinyoung

he!! is!! your!! twin!! 

you and jinyoung actually find comfort in the fact that you both have the almost same personality, which sometimes was a problem but nonetheless you two made it work

you two really just like sitting together, watching a movie or just napping while the room is quiet— it's nice, you two understand that sometimes silence is the best setting

 you two love to do stuff like cooking, baking, decorating— honestly just really random shit, where you two can just work silently

"...", just smiling at you while you cook alongside him.

youngjae

this baby is shyer than you :(

your little shy giggles and smiles just make him so soft, he instantly recoils

you two constantly match sweaters that you both hide in 

you two are just the shyest couple ever, the little squishy smiles and the same actions when someone would say something lewd or really anything in general would make y'all shy.

"it's like.. we're the same person, we're so cute and shy!!"

bambam

he's really loud, sometimes inappropriate and sometimes makes these comments that catch you off-guard

he may sometimes overstep in asking you of certain things, quickly apologizing and you melting into this puddle of shyness while he showers you with affection

mmhm he cuddles you quite a lot instead of using his words, which makes you all flustered

you tend to not display a lot of affection in public just for that reason, it just doesn't feel right to do such in front of everyone, especially bambam's friends and family

 you shy away from kissing and hugging, but you will hold his hand

"am i gonna have to chase you for a kiss, or are you gonna cmere and give me one!!"

yugyeom

you bet that he will always be trying to get you out of your shell

you're just a shy little thing, yugyeom consistently embarrassing you when he'll pinch your cheeks or ruffle your hair, making you red and shy

he likes to show you off, knowing you will squeal out complaints which will of course get everyone murmuring and cooing at you like a baby

yugyeom is really just so soft for you and your shyness is so adorable to him 

he is a literal puppy for you and will fall at your knees whenever you whine or cover your face

"you're so shy princess, let me see your face!"

©️ skzdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[simeons-sinful-saint]

Hey Emily,

How have you been? It's been many months since I've last talked to you, and I'm sure you've forgotten about me now. I haven't forgotten you though. Thanks for kicking me out of the server at 3 AM when I, like any rational person would be sleeping. Thanks for being a near-likeness of my bullies, who didn't believe in talking things out. I would have left if y'all told me to leave. You didn't have to kick me out and give me a chance to respond. I was very upset, because I considered you guys nice people. You are nice, just not good.

You don't even have to respond to this, I just wanted you know. I don't hate you, and going so far as to block me was kinda rude. I just wanted someone to understand and tell me where I went wrong, and obviously you guys were so superior you couldn't tell me. Don't do what you did to me to other people. Not everyone grew up in America, not everyone understands your stance. Explain.

I hope that you and the others have a wonderful time regardless, you seemed very close-knit!!

Love,

Sol

PS. Blocking me won't help, I've already blocked you here.

Ok so I mulled over whether I respond to this but I feel like it’s important that I at least say something. This is for @/kayan-writes. I know you already blocked me but just in case you see this. I also advocate everyone else to just block them. Don’t harass them in anyway shape or form.

So…

I used to have a semi-public discord server, and I allowed most people who asked join it. They had to be 18+ ofc. Everything with Sol seemed fine at first, and the server carried on its merry way.

Then, they made the server uncomfortable especially towards those who were poly (censored their names to maintain privacy)

Then there are the major offenses.

The first time they did something wrong: we were talking about a certain blog in the fandom who allowed minors into their server. They mentioned that they’d allow minors if they were to make one. I talked to them in private and learned they just turned 18 and had friends who were still 17. So that was their line of thinking. I explained that there’s a difference between interacting with friends (minors they were friends with when they were a minor) and any minor they encountered in the future. I thought they learned when I explained, and I told them to make sure they think before they post something in the server.

The second time: I allowed the Tupperbox bot into the server after everyone asked. Cool, chill. We used it to make an rp channel and some of the peeps used it to be like the Obey Me boys. Well they used it as an opportunity to bring a Luke bot in the server. WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE IN A NSFW SERVER! so again I had to have another conversation with them.

At this point I should have removed them from the server. But I explained to them about the situation and I warned them saying if they did something bad again that I’d kick them out.

So things went back to normal. Then…National Native American heritage day. The explosion that ended up killing my server.

I stepped away from the server because I was having bad panic attacks. The mood of the server was sour, and everyone thought it’d be a good idea to send some memes into the chat. Well, Sol sent a meme with a swastika in it and a colonizer meme

It was wrong. And they should have known it was wrong. They say they weren’t American so they didn’t know about the history of the US. But at the very least, they should have known that a meme with a swastika in it would be wrong to do. What made it all the more worse, I had a descendent of Jewish relatives and a Native person (Sour/@goththem) in the server.

This was the third time I got onto Sol. I warned them I would do this. I didn’t have to give them chances. I stated in my rules for the server that I had the right to kick anyone out with out warning.

In any case, I don’t have to explain why something was wrong. I was tired of giving second chances. In this ask, it seems they understand now what they did wrong and yet they still think I should have sat them down like a parent to a child and explain why what they did was bad.

I never bullied them. I tried to give them teaching moments. I GAVE THEM CHANCES!

I kicked them out of the server at 3 am THEIR TIME. It wasn’t 3 am where I was. I wasn’t going to wait until 3 am my time to ask them to leave the server. I blocked them because they hurt my friends. To the point where my best friend (Sour) felt uncomfortable being in the server bc everyone started to squabble about the entire ordeal. Eventually, I had to kill the server bc it became so toxic.

I don’t have to explain my stance ever. No one does. No one has to explain their pain to the person who inflicted it. No one has to explain how something was offensive. After seeing everyone’s response, they didn’t research themselves on what they did was wrong and didn’t apologize for any of it. Ignorance isn’t an excuse. And I wasn’t going to stand for it.

I’m not negating their feelings of being upset. But that’s not going to guilt trip me into thinking what I did was wrong.

Honestly, I should have intervened sooner. A part of me is still haunted after all that happened, and I share part of the blame for hurting my friends. I could have done more and I didn’t. For that I’m sorry to them.

I’m not sorry for banning/blocking them. For kicking them out. I just wish I did it sooner.

Some of this may seem redundant. I tried to keep my composure writing this, but I was mad when I received this in my inbox. I thought about responding. And now I am.

Again, don’t interact with them. Don’t send hate. Just block them and move about your day

[babygirlizz]

Izzie’s Favorite Movies and TV shows of 2021!

Aaaaaaand we're back! Another year, another movie and tv show review by yours truly. We have a long one this year!!! Lots of good shows this year, and so much Marvel. If you know me, you know my entire personality is Marvel. Although, I am garbage and have not see Shang Chi, Hawkeye, or the new Venom. NO GIFS ARE MINE (they were all just searched for here on tumblr). Sorry this is a bit late, and sorry there aren’t very many movies. Most of these shows and movies can be found on Netflix or Disney+, unless they are not released yet on streaming platforms.

Warnings!: Spoilers (marvel fans I am warning you now, there will be spoilers, especially for SM: NWH), language, death, gun shot

TV Shows:

1. OBX2

I loved obx1. I live in coastal NC so this show is really fun for me to watch. I love how this season was based in obx and the Bahamas! In this season, we see that Sarah Cameron (Madelyn Cline) and John B (Chase Stokes) survived the awful storm from the end of season 1 and have been picked up by a boat, heading towards the Bahamas. There is a reward out for their capture and the people on the boat decide they want the reward, but Sarah and John B make it out of the boat. Shit goes down in the Bahamas. Sarah's brother, Rafe (Drew Starkey (my love, my life)), shoots her, she survives by some some sketchy doc, and they make it back to the states. In fact, they end up in Charleston, SC. And it just so happens that JJ (Rudy Pankow), Pope (Jonathan Daviss), and Kie (Madison Bailey) are all in Charleston. They all meet up and reunite all cutesy. Secrets come out about Pope's family, Sarah and John B break up, they get back together, and the season ends with a nerve-racking fight scene on a boat and a cliffhanger of all cliffhangers. Overall highly recommend, but of course watch season 1 first.

2. Squid Game

Y'all this was insane. My roommate and I started this series dubbed because we put it on as background noise, but it was awful that way and we were intrigued, so we switched to subbed. There is too much that happens in this show for me to break it all down, but it is a wonderful representation of how the rich prey on the poor and those in debt for their own fun and amusement. It's gross and this show was amazing.

3. Ginny & Georgia

I was worried about this show cause I thought it was just going to be another show about teenagers written by 45 year old men. In this show Ginny (Antonia Gentry), her mother Georgia (Brianne Howey), and Ginny's younger brother Austin (Diesel La Torraca) move to a new town after the death of Georgia's husband and Ginny and Austin's stepdad. Little did we know, her husband didn't die on accident, Georgia killed him. After he had inappropriately touched Ginny during a workout, Georgia poisoned his smoothie and he crashed his car. In this town, Georgia is caught in a love triangle with a restaurant owner and the mayor. Ginny finds herself in a love triangle as well with a boy named Hunter (Mason Temple) and her best friends brother, Marcus (Felix Mallard). Shit starts to go downhill when Georgia's lies start falling apart a bit, Ginny gets caught with Marcus, and Ginny decides to take matters into her own hands. This is such a good show in my opinion, and I don't think it gets enough credit. Also, Marcus is hot and Hunter sucks. Team Marcus. Can't wait for season 2!

4. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

MMMMM BONKY. I am Marvel obsessed, but also Bucky is my main man. ANYWAY. Now that Steve has handed down his shield to Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie), it falls into the hands of the government after Sam feels it's the right thing to do (aka put it in a museum). This backfires, and the government finds a new Captain America, John Walker (Wyatt Russel). Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan) does not find this okay, especially after Walker calls Steve, whom he grew up with, a "brother" to him. Bucky meets up with Sam, they fight a bit, Bucky gets arrested, they fight Walker, they fight the Flagsmashers, they breakout Zemo (Daniel Brühl), and they even go to Louisiana. Sam ends up taking on the role of Captain America, and Bucky is Proud™. I love u Bonky and honorable mention, my man, Torres (Danny Ramirez).

5. WandaVision

WandaVision was so so good!!! Scarlet Witch has been one of my favorite marvel characters since the jump and I was so excited that she finally got her own show! In this lovely show, Wanda (Elizabeth Olsen) has created a fake reality in a real town because of the trauma of losing Vision (Paul Bettany). This show is set up like a sitcom and basically every episode is a different decade. Time isn’t real in this world, and when her and Vision have kids, they grow up at an alarming rate. Furthermore, her brother Pietro (Evan Peters) shows up. BUT, this isn’t who normally plays Pietro (aka Aaron Taylor-Johnson) so she grows suspicious. We find out that the government is trying to fix what Wanda has done, but they can’t compete with her power. A bunch of ish goes down, and I cried many times. Wanda deserves happiness. That is all. 

6. Loki

I love Loki. I love Loki. I love Loki. I have loved Loki for a hot minute, and I rarely side with Thor over him. Oops. Anyway, I loved this show. The cast was excellent; I love Owen Wilson. I think this show really shows a deeper side of Loki (Tom Hiddleston) that we could never get from the other Marvel movies he’s been in. In this show we get a look at a bunch of Loki “variants” and we get to see Loki fight against time. There’s too much for me to explain everything, but I will give it a solid thumbs-up!

7. Midnight Mass

Y’all wtf. I don’t tend to watch shows that have anything to do with religion; it’s just not my jam. However, I couldn’t NOT watch this show. If you have seen my other movie and tv show reviews, you would know that I loved Haunting of Hill House and Haunting of Bly Manor. Mike Flanagan is a genius and deserves all of the awards. This show is set on an isolated island. While Monsignor Pruitt is away, a new charismatic, young priest arrives. He goes by Father Paul (Hamish Linklater). While we see the arrival of Father Paul, we also see the rearrival of Riley Flynn (Zach Gilford) who just spent a few years in prison for killing a girl while driving drunk. Riley grew up in this town, but didn’t really like it. Luckily, he runs into Erin Greene (Kate Siegel) who he grew up with, and just so happens to be pregnant. This town also has a new sheriff, Sheriff Hassan (Rahul Kohli), who moved to the island with his son. They are both Muslim, and heavily scrutinized for it. Father Paul is welcomed by Bev Keane (Samantha Sloyan) who is, in her eyes, holier than thou. With a new priest in town, miraculous event begin to take place. But, how? A few plot twists later and many loud gasps, this show was added to my top 10 of all time. Also, Father Paul and Sheriff Hassan are highkey attractive. 

Movies:

1. Eternals

Eternals was an amazing Marvel movie. This movie takes us, first, to the moment our eternals come to Earth. It shows us the beginning of the relationships between these heroes, including a romantic relationship between Sersi (Gemma Chan) and Ikaris (Richard Madden). They, along with the other Eternals: Thena (Angelia Jolie), Ajak (Salma Hayek), Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani), Sprite (Lia McHugh), Gilgamesh (Ma Dong-seok), Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry), Makkari (Lauren Ridloff), and my personal favorite Druig (Barry Keoghan), protect mankind from these pesky little creatures called Deviants. Overtime, the Eternals split up. Sersi finds new love in a man named Dane Whitman (Kit Harington). Though, as the Deviants begin to rise again, the Eternals reunite to defeat them, including Ikaris. Shit goes down and Druig looks hot the whole time. Also, in the end we get to meet Thanos’ brother, Eros (Harry Styles). Yeah, Harry Styles is in the MCU now.

2. Black Widow

Black Widow is the story of Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson) and her “sister” Yelena Belova (Florence Pugh). It shows us their childhood and the moment they were brought in to be trained as Widows. Yelena finally escapes and her and Natasha join forces in order to stop Dreykov (Ray Winstone) and his daughter, Antonia (Olga Kurylenko), who is being forced to become the Taskmaster. We see a lot of humor in this movie, and Florence was the perfect fit for Yelena.

3. Spider-Man: No Way Home

Y’all I saw this twice in theaters. If you haven’t seen it, now is the time to skip ahead or be spoiled. This movie starts where Far From Home ends. Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal) had just revealed Spider-Man’s identity, he’s Peter Parker (Tom Holland). After this, everyone thinks he’s a murderer. He’s taken into custody and that’s when, get this, MATT MURDOCK (Charlie Cox) comes in. Yeah, you heard that right. Daredevil got Spider-Man out of jail. Anyway, his best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon) and girlfriend MJ (Zendaya) suffer from this and struggle to get into college. So, Peter takes it into his own hands and goes to Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) to make everyone forget that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. But, the spell goes haywire, and opens up their universe to those in every universe that know about Peter Parker, even in their universe. This means we see all the villains. We have Doc Ock (Alfred Molina), Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe), Electro (Jamie Foxx), The Lizard (Rhys Ifans), and Sandman (Thomas Haden Church). After Green Goblin, aka Norman Osborn, kills Aunt May (Marisa Tomei)((Frick u Green Goblin)), Peter runs off to be alone. Ned starts telling MJ he wishes Peter was with them, and a fricken portal opens like Doctor Strange. This Peter, however, is not their Peter. Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) comes through the portal, and when they try again Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) comes through the portal. Together they find Peter and they all work together to cure the villains so they can be sent home. But, in order to restore the universe, Strange must make everyone forget who Peter Parker is. Peter is now living in New York with no friends, family, or loved ones and must find a way to survive without Ned, MJ, and Happy (Jon Favreau).

[g-on-ef]

Ngl big fears of mine are 1) They screw over Striker's character (ex. He follows Stella's orders without complaint, his business pitch isn't true/his true motive isn't "down with the monarchy", basically turned into your usual generic "must be better than everyone" villain pls I just want him to be at least a decently fleshed out morally grey villain/anti-hero) and 2) They screw over Stolas' character somehow (take away his character development or don't even bother developing him, continue to side with him instead of acknowledging that both Stolas and Stella are in the wrong cuz ye, those two don't love each other anymore but its still wrong to cheat on your spouse and assassinate your spouse respectively, I just want the owl dude to realize his mistakes and flaws and improve as a character).

Also, I really hope they don't force Stolitz cuz as much as I like it, I don't want it forced without any development. Like, at least have Stolas realize that he's been treating Blitz, and by extentions, imps in general, badly and try to improve as a person.

Nonnie I have so many feeling about this so hear me out

When Striker was first introduced I thought hey this guy is cool interesting and definitely an asshole who is impressed by Blitz I'm in love.

His first interaction wit Moxxie I PERSONALLY emphasis on the word personally think he was genuinely trying to see if he was as good as Blitz.

I mean here you have an imp that started his own business so he had to hired someone who was as equally impressive as him.

Most likely he had an idea what Moxxie was like since Millie's parents told him about her they probably told him about Moxxie and he wanted to see if they were right or not.

As the episode progresses you see how an equal he is to Blitz and Blitz is obviously attracted to him since he asked him to join IMP and Striker said yes so obviously these two were impressed wit each other they wanted to work together.

Now onto the speech, y'all I know I made a post about it but damn I can go forever as to why the speech is so fucking amazing and how it relates to the outside world and just everything about the speech just gets me so excited !!!

When you hear it your just like oh shit he's right everything about Hell and it's monarchy and how Blitz is means nothing because at the end of the day he's still following the status quo he's still doing what Hell and everyone thinks of IMPs.

Serving those higher than them.

And it's just Striker is a threat because he brought up some good points and it got you thinking about how EVERYONE views IMPs I mean we even saw a glimpse that the imps hated are annoyed and hurt by how others view them a glimpse along wit Striker's views were enough to get me thinking this character is gonna become a threat to Blitz and even Stolas and the monarchy that runs hell.

I mean he's the first one to openly insult a royal {Blitz doesn't count because of his relationship wit Stolas} so again all that is a perfect recipe for a morally grey character that's gonna become an interesting character that'll be a threat to everyone around him.

... ... ... And than we get to the ending ... ... ... Again I ain't gonna lie I was disappointed. Because like you nonnie I want this character to be fleshed out into a morally grey anti hero character.

I want him to become a threat and start inspiring his people to fight back, to show the royals who really runs hell.

Like this could lead up to such an interesting story tackling a lot of heavy topics basically the adult version of ATLA still be light hearted and funny but dealing wit sensitive topics.

But this is an "adult" cartoon where the humor relies heavily on sexual innuendos, cursing, inappropriate gestures, and other things that can't be shown in children cartoon characters.

If they can have Striker use Stella as a stepping stool to reach his goals that'll be fine wit me cause he can still be a morally grey character. Sadly I don't see that happening.

I don't think Vizipop and her crew are capable enough to handle writing such complexity due to many reasons one being character growth.

Unfortunately nonnie they already ruined Stolas's character.

For me I will take any form of development even if it's small, Stolas had that in the second episode he saw that his actions were hurting his daughter and he chose her above anything else.

When he saw that Via was hurt he chose to put aside his flirting nature and chose to get Via outta the theme park and take her where she wanted to go.

And than episode five happens and we are back to square one.

For me I would have had Stolas and Blitz renegotiating their agreement and have Blitz keep Stolas company like the two spend quality time together that way we can see them become aquaintencess then friends then lovers you know have a healthy normal relationship.

Have Stolas see the errors of his ways have Blitz grow and learn to love himself and accept himself and just watch the relationship happen naturally but again this is a cartoon for "adults" and it's aim for "adults".

We are five episodes in and have yet to see Blitz or any characters grow as individuals, hell we haven't even see them grow closer as a group it basically feels like I'm watching a bunch of random coworkers fighting each other and putting up wit each other because they have to.

Episode three had an opportunity to give us Loona and Blitz moments but all we got were drunken Moxxie horny teenagers and pacing that had no idea what it was doing.

Hell even episode four had it's moments where Blitz and the crew could've worked together but instead was dragged out.

Imma be honest with y'all though I saw no point in that episode I really didn't.

I personally think the episode were Stolas is sad could give us development but if imma be honest with you I think it's gonna be more of a flashback episode than anything else I wanna be wrong and I hope I am.

Honestly I feel as the show progresses we are gonna get Striker being a generic villain that'll give everyone a reason to hate him and BlitzStriker and Stolas would most like not suffer as much as we all think he should.

[contradictions-of-iron-and-lace]

So on my old blog, I would occasionally give my unsolicited thoughts and opinions on shows or movies (usually ones that either had a lot of hype or were just straight up bad). I just watched "365 Dni" aka "365 Days" because I had a couple hours to kill so be prepared for mental spewage because it's my blog and I do what I want.

Wait I thought this was a romantic thriller. They're talking about human trafficking. This is already gross.

Michele Morrone is very good looking though and I've been obsessed with his face for the last few weeks.

This whole conversation about these girls getting trafficked is gross.

Yes. Let's be extra pervy during a pervy business meeting and check out the girl on the beach with our binoculars.

Hold up. Why did they get shot?

I don't know what's going on. Freaking Italian mob, man.

This song about being addicted to someone that's playing while people are bleeding out on the ground seems tonally inappropriate.

So far we've seen Italy, San Francisco, and Warsaw. I didn't know we were globetrotting.

And we switched from Italian to Polish to English. Sure.

Yeah. Michele Morrone could get it. Also he survived being shot.

Is that the same girl from the beach? Probably. Why not.

They do a lot of spinning shots and it's making me dizzy.

So far this is a very expensive foreign Lifetime movie.

Yes. Because everyone takes boob shots in the back of their Uber while sober.

Homegirl's boyfriend looks like they picked him out of a burly henchman catalogue.

Yup. Michele Morrone is stupid hot. Even just sitting down he's hot.

Oh good. We've transitioned from potential human trafficking to cocaine.

Well damn. This is fairly explicit for a "mainstream" film.

Cool. I share a name with the female lead.

Still don't know the male lead's name yet.

Everybody in this movie is either stupid hot or stupid ugly. There is no middle ground.

Yes, Michele. Creeping up on this girl on a darkly lit path saying "Are you lost, little girl?" is definitely going to win you all the points.

I don't understand why writers insist on putting powerful women with schlubby dudes. It's tired and cliched and inevitably leads to annoying arguments.

Yes. Let's wander around Sicily at night all alone. That's totally safe.

And my point is proven.

I hope if I ever get kidnapped and holed up in some random ass castle in Sicily my makeup looks as good as Laura's.

So this just turned into a horror movie.

Called it about Laura being the girl on the beach.

Yeah, that's not creepy at all, dude. Let's obsess over a girl we might have hallucinated for five years and then kidnap her and give her a year to fall in love with you. Solid plan.

This is literally making my skin crawl.

Ah yes. "I won't do anything without your permission" he says as he literally grabs and sexually assaults her.

So basically this is trying to be "erotic thriller, Beauty and the Beast style".

Her pulling a gun on him has been the best thing so far.

I'm so confuuuuuused.

That's nothing new though. I live in a state of perpetual confusion.

Why the hell is there a man chained to a rock in this dude's basement.

I have many concerns.

Also his name is Massimo so that's good to know.

Besides the man chained in his basement his house is pretty cool.

Just kidding the man is no longer chained in the basement since he now has a bullet in his head.

I'm only 30 minutes in and this has been a wild ride.

"I'm not a bag of potatoes you can move without my permission!" is very Polish and as somebody who's family is Polish I'm living for it.

I'm going to need him to stop laying hands on her.

Whoever chose the music made some odd choices.

He keeps watching her sleep and it's creepy.

And there he goes grabbing her again.

I do like that she's giving him a lot of attitude and isn't putting up with his shit but you know that's going to change 🙄

Yes. Go spend all his money, honey.

He is disrespectful as hell.

I don't care how hot he is, he's creepy and abusive and I don't like it.

"I am not the monster you think I am." You would be incorrect, my dude.

Like, she went on vacation with her boyfriend and friends, and I can't for the life of me figure out why they aren't looking for her unless they explained it and I missed it.

Pierogi. The most romantic of Polish foods.

"I do business." He's a drug trafficker, honey. Run away. Run far, far away.

Honestly I would turn this off if I wasn't so far in it already.

I feel like I have to see this trainwreck through to the end.

"I would like you to show me how to be gentle for you" would be more appealing if HE LITERALLY HAD NOT KIDNAPPED, ABUSED, AND ASSAULTED HER.

Ew. Did he sneak in her bed while she slept?

One good dinner and now she's all "let's gently touch him in bed and take a shower in front of him" 🙄

Why is this bathroom set up like a communal shower? It's weird.

Although to be fair if he hopped in the shower with me I'd check him out too 🤷

They tied her to the seat in the plane. What the hell.

I'm so uncomfortable.

Ugh. Why. Why is this a thing.

So far this has been creepier than 50 Shades and 50 Shades is creepy as hell.

Hold on. I thought they were at a hotel. Why does he have a giant ass portrait of himself hanging up in his room?

I. Am. Uncomfortable.

Oh man. He has a nice butt.

Don't get distracted by the pretty man, Laura.

Onscreen Laura too.

He asked her to teach him how to be gentle, then handcuffs her to the bed and makes her watch while he hooks up with another woman.

Yup. Doing a great job there, Massimo.

Cool I'm back to being confused.

She can't walk in her heels and I'm dying laughing. Same, girl, same.

"What are you wearing?" "A couple thousand euro of yours." GET HIM.

Now we've entered the Scarface phase of the movie because there was just a copious amount of cocaine snorted.

Where did he pull two guns from??

So I don't know how long she's been with him at this point. I feel like that's something that needs to be clarified.

And she fell off the boat.

Of course she did.

Oh man. Why's he gotta be so cute with his fluffy curls and stubble and tattoos?

Also I'm pretty sure he only owns like two shirts because he's walked around shirtless for most of this movie.

We are now in the part of the movie where we've screamed awful things at each other and now we're going to bone it out.

All over the boat. Like every surface of the boat they have now banged on.

If y'all were dissatisfied with the raunchiness of the 50 Shades series, this is the movie for you because it far surpasses that.

Of course they're going to a ball. They always do in these rich people movies.

Makeover montage because why not.

Oh no. He's hot in a tux.

It always cracks me up in movies when people just automatically know how to ballroom dance like professionals without any training.

Every time I think this movie can't get more cliched, it does.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I subject myself to bad movies?

I take it back. I know why I did it this time. The reason is 6'2" and looks damn good in a button up shirt.

"I thought you were kidnapped!" She was. You were a good friend for thinking that.

The switching between languages is giving me whiplash. It's very jarring going from Italian to Polish to English to Polish to Italian.

Her friend seeing through her bullshit is giving me life.

Also loving the fact that she's acknowledging she has Stockholm Syndrome. But because it's a movie it won't change anything.

Another makeover montage? So soon?

Also her friend keeps calling Massimo Mozzarella and it's hilarious.

That wig looks like it's about to crawl off her head.

Of course the ex shows up.

Honestly just knee him in the nuts and be done with it.

Why does Massimo think it's okay to break into her apartment and wait in the dark for her?

I don't know who thought using a blue light for her apartment was a good idea but it just looks like they're in a giant tanning booth.

"I don't need 365 days... Because I love you." GIRL NO.

I mean it was inevitable but it's still gross.

Yup. That's normal. Let's marry our kidnapper.

I want to snatch that wig off her head.

"What are your intentions with our daughter?" You don't want to know what his intentions are with your daughter, sir.

I will say that I love all her clothes in this movie.

Also she's pregnant. Calling it right now.

Called it.

Also good to know they've only known each other two months and they're going to get married and have a baby 👀

Her best friend is my favorite character and is the only likeable person in this whole movie.

Plot twist. Shocker.

This is so dramatic.

I will give them credit for the ending because that was unexpected.

In summary, this movie is trash and while the "love" scenes are pretty hot, it's not worth the time or effort that I clearly put into this.

[thirstybtsthoughts]

So I'm curious how many asks do you get and do you answer all of them?

Hi!

This ask has reminded me to do that FAQ post that I keep forgetting about 🥺.

So, short answer is that these days (as the followers keep coming) I get more asks than I can answer 😭.

Long answer is that I used to be able to answer almost every ask (I wouldn't answer inappropriate or repetitive ones). I made a point of trying to answer them all because I feel like I owe it to you guys as you take the time to interact with me and share your thoughts so nicely. I'm so thankful for this space and I love receiving each and every ask 🥰. Also, back then I wasn't working and didn't have any major commitments so I had time to be here and read/answer everything.

Now however, the followers keep coming (hello new followers!) and the asks, though not a massively unbearable amount, are a little too many for me to be able to answer every single one.

It actually pains me when I don't have time to answer, because naturally I hate letting people down, I genuinely want to listen to everything you all have to say and I want to be a person who is here for you in troubling times.

However, I am merely one person, I work two jobs, have family commitments, have family troubles, have mental health troubles, try to have a social life (though mostly non existent), am looking for a hubby (yes, in my culture it's how it works) and spends time on other hobbies/activities. Time is too short in every case 😭

The thing is, reading, taking a moment to appreciate (bc damn do y'all send some good thirst 🥵), and answering an ask takes longer than it may seem. Especially if it's a long one 🥺. I can't and don't want to just rush through them all and bang them out quickly.

I also hate having to close my inbox because I want you to be able to drop in anytime you want, if its to vent, thirst, ask for help, anything at all 🥰.

I'm so so so sorry if you've sent something that hasn't been answered (yet). I do have quite a lot to read and answer right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time answering older asks, as alot of them are about what that person is feeling in the moment, and by the time I get to it they may no longer care, but then again I feel bad if I left it completely, so maybe responding is better than not responding at all.

This is getting long lol but I have alot to say. As this blog has been running for a couple of years now, and new followers continue to drop in, please note that there are topics that have been discussed in depth before. Recently, I keep getting alot of asks talking about these same things and I know it's not your fault as you don't know, but I do end up repeating myself alot 🥺. So if anyone is even reading this far, please go to my masterlist or advice section incase what you're looking for is there.

To those who tell me to stop sexualising the guys. No. I won't. And your asks just end up getting deleted. So there's no point wasting your energy.

To those who just drop a tiktok/instagram/twitter link and say nothing else. It's no fun, at least tell me what you thought of it or how it makes you feel.

To those who make requests for fics... I so badly want to write everything you want, like really truly want to. I have so many ideas myself too. But again there's just no time 😭😭😭. Also I do need to be in a good mindset for it, which just doesn't happen these days. I usually save your requests for the future incase I need inspiration and end up being able to write it.

About today... there were quite alot of asks about Jungkook's piercing and it got too much for me that I had to just answer what I could, I did get frustrated and leave for a while. Whatever, I’m human. It just got so repetitive. If it's already been said, I don't need 20 asks all saying the exact same 😩.

One more thing. I'm sorry that I can't reply to your comments on posts. This is a secondary blog and tumblr won't let me respond to comments using this blog 😭. But I do see each and every one of them and massively appreciate them! We’re all here to help each other and thirst with each other over these seven men, so yessss let’s make it the warmest, safest space for every single person! 

Ultimately, I don't want anyone to feel like they've been ignored. I truly read every single ask even if I don’t answer them all. 

Oh my goddd I’m so sorry this got so long 😭. I really need to do a FAQ 😭. 

I love and appreciate each and every one of you 🥺💜. Please stay here with me in our little void of the internet for as long as you can 🥰. I get attached to you all so fast 😭