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gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan · 3 months ago

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That you Keep

Author’s note: More Random shit. So- Malum Caedo in Boltgun was all like "I shall finish what Captain Titus Started!!" and that was adorable, for a Veteran Murder Machien of a Man. And like. Titus and Malum meeting in Space Marine 2 would be great since, clearly, he adored his Captain.

Summary: Veteran Sternguard Malum Caedo hears tell of his previous Captain, now Lieutenant Titus having survived and returned back to the Ultramarines.

Warnings: Smut. NSFT. uh... let me know if you need me to add anything here? Thanks y'all!

Tagged: @barn-anon, @bleedingichorhearts, @c-u-c-koo-4-40k, @egrets-not-regrets, @kit-williams

Tagged: @sleepyfan-blog, @ms--lobotomy , @thevoidscreams, @i-am-a-dragon34, @gra93fruit-blog

He had been walking from one part of the ship to the other when he'd heard some of the younger brothers who'd been initially created as Primaris Marines complain about their new Officer.

Gadriel complaining to Chairon about Lt. Titus, Malum paused and looked at his younger brothers in the Second Company and asked if they meant Demetrian Titus- and asked them certain questions about the identity of this Demetrian Titus.

Realizing that the Demetrian Titus that they are talking about is his Demetrian Titus has him asking them where he could find their Lt. They are a little taken back about his questions and vehemence, but they told him.

He thanked the younger brothers for telling him all of this as he headed to where Titus, his Demetrian is. Part of why he'd taken the Graia mission all those long years ago was to see if he could recover his body, since he had been told that Titus had died on that mission.

Part of him thought that had been a lie, and he's glad to know that his instincts on such a thing were correct. His Demetrian turns when he called out his name softly, a smile soft and gentle appears on Titus's face, if a little cautious.

Malum pulls of his helmet, "I am so glad that you are alive Metri."

"You thought I was dead?" Titus asks.

"Yes," Malum says, "Stars above, I have missed you, I had grieved your loss. I am glad that you have returned to us."

Something colder and harder in Demetrian's eyes softens and warms at that. An almost sparkle of something flashes in the other's eyes as he strides towards Malum as they move closer towards one another.

Malum reaches out and grabs one of Demetrian's arms who clasps his hand back as they tug each other lightly into a deep embrace. Titus notes out loud, "You feel stronger."

"Indeed- the benefits of crossing the Rubicon Primaris, successfully," Malum says proudly, "You too- seem stronger."

"I have also crossed the Rubicon Primaris," Titus says, pausing a little, "Did you choose to cross, or was it that or being turned into a Dreadnaught or death?"

"I chose to try to Cross the Rubicon," Malum says, "... What about you?"

"... Chapter Master Calgar chose for me to cross the Rubicon." Titus says.

"Ah, you are not the only Captain that our wonderful Chapter Master has decided such medical decisions for." Malum says quietly, lowly, "I have missed you, so much."

"I have missed you deeply Mal," Titus says as he lightly tugs his fellow turned-Primaris Marine with him to his private rooms.

Malum follows him eagerly as they go into Titus's room, Demetrian lets go of his hand for a moment and goes to his armor stand and hits the quick release button on his armor and steps out of it.

Malum follows suit with his own armor and within a blink of an eye, Titus is upon him. A clash of lips, tongue, and the clack of teeth as they press kisses and touches, desperate fingers touch and tease their paramor's skin and body.

"I have missed you, all these long, lonely years," Malum whispers, moaning into Titus's lips.

"Never chose another to bed?" Titus asks, half surprised, half pleased.

"None could compare to you," Malum said with a shake of his head, honest in his words as they continue to kiss and touch.

Demetrian presses his fingers to Malum's lips and he opens his mouth eagerly as he sucks on the other's fingers- helping lubricate them as Titus teases their cocks, by rubbing them against each other.

Malum groans in pleasure and the delicious friction as Titus flips Malum over and pulls his fingers away as he stretches Malum open with his fingers.

The pain and pleasure run up his spine in equal measure as he pleads, "Titus- fuck me, Please."

"In a bit, love, In a bit," Titus murmurs, "It's been a century for us both, love."

Malum whines a little at that and grinds his backside against Titus' fingers and cock. He hides a little smirk as he hears Titus's swearing of pleasure and the way the other picks up the pace on stretching him.

The feeling Titus's other hand lightly smacking his ass in punishment only enhancing the pain-pleasure-need-desire and he groans in pleasure as Titus pulls his fingers out of him.

He whines at the loss and Titus chuckles a little as he thrusts in, he had wanted to do so slowly. But the hot, tight feeling of Malum around him. Fuck it really has been so long. Has him thrusting all the way in fast.

Damn. This new body of his really is an upgrade. Stronger, faster, it's impressive. As he presses biting kisses into Malums neck and shoulder as he starts to thrust in and out of him.

Malum eagerly matching his pace rolling his hips and groaning in pleasure, while Titus groans in pleasure and murmurs filthy praise. It's embarrassingly quick how fast he cums, but is pleased that Malum doesn't take long to cum either.

#warhammer 40k #warhammer #adeptus astartes #ultramarines #titus #demetrian titus #caedo #malum caedo #Titus/Caedo

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clowns0up-felix · 1 month ago

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Coming back to tell you how much I love that little comic with the Chosen Hero and the Hero of Men. There's no dialogue, but it still has a strong sense of sadness and hope. And the parallels between the two are fantastic, I really wish Nintendo gave us more information about what happened between Skyward Sword and Minish Cap because now I'm really thinking about it and how whatever happened had to be pretty scary if the Hero of Men decided it was in everyone's best interest for him to yoink the Chosen Hero's sacred sword from its temple.

All those words to say your art is wonderful and I'm thinking about it and the piece of LoZ lore it represents. ❤️

Ohhhh my go yesssss I would give my life to know more about the hero of men,,, its literally crazy to me that there’s a link that’s just. There. No game no story no nothing. WHO IS THAT TELL ME?? Thinking about who he could’ve been is one of the joys of life but it tends to feel more like writing an OC than expanding on known lore, bc be barely have any,,,

Actually, Ill use this to ramble about what I do tend to think for him here, hope that’s okay!!

I love love love that u said that what was happening during the hero of men’s time had to be pretty scary, bc YEAH. To pull the sword of the first hero and first king of Hyrule (^.^) who probably would kill to not have fi be woken up is CRAZYYYY,,, either he’s oblivious or in a really bad situation,,, What is known about him leaves to believe that he was a knight tho, and they 100% knew about fis resting ground,, It is said that the world was about to be swallowed by evil, which makes me think Botw final cutscene or sksw final girahim type severity of monster floods. So I think hom (ill refer to the hero of men like this for now) link probably saw getting the sacred, legendary master sword as his only chance at saving hyrule.

Idk if he would’ve know himself to be the legendary hero reborn due to triforce mark, maybe he just stumbled across it in an attempt to hide some injured knights in the temple of hylia,,,, Side note on the temple of hylia, love the abandoned look in the comic but it doesn’t really make sense, does it? Bc why would sksw Link want fis resting place to not be well kept? Would he visit before his passing?

Anyway, he takes the sword defeats the monster hoards and gives hyrule a brief moment of safety. He’s made into a high ranking knight or maybe head of the knights (he’s probably rather young still, as that seems to be a theme for the chosen hero and priestess, so maybe late teens, and before having the master sword he was a knight in training?) and then, when the picori/minish come down to earth (i dunno from where, was that ever said? Just from the skies i thiinkkk,,,) he gets the picori blade and I think the light force from them. It’s similar use does bring up the question why hom link would use the picori blade over the master sword,, maybe because its a gift and the master sword is like this sacred sword meant to rest and that got him feeling bad hahaha,, Hom link trapped the monsters rather than killing them but I can’t remember if the trapped them in the sword or the chest or somewhere else hmm,,, the sword later turns into the four sword right? (I’m so sorry im too lazy rn to do research 😭) I don’t think hom link would’ve been able to use it as this tho, i think he never got it to a point like this, just used it to save the world once and then gave it away for the contest ^^ In one of the stained glass the sword he gets DOES look like the four sword but i am going to ignore that bc I think i can.

Also, for reasons that I can’t (don’t want to) talk about rn I personally would change it being the 50th anniversary of the Picori Festival instead of the 100th ^.^ also I think hom link would stay a close friend to the royal family partially to protect the holder of the light force which was sealed into his Zelda i think and passed down to her children and their children yk,, and don’t tell anyone I said this but he is alive during minish cap and ezlo was one of the minish that gave him the blade during the Force era ;)

I also think the minish weren’t really ever introduced to the public but instead kept in strict contact to the royal family and those they trusted, which is why during mc basically no one knows about them, and those that once did are already fairly old or dead.

I’m not gonna read this over, hope everything makes sense and is coherent

Thanks for the ask !!!!! Drawing the comic was so fun I’m happy u like it :D

#ask #link #legend of zelda #zelda hero of men #hero of men #hom link #loz minish cap #minish cap #Loz #tloz #loz headcanons #zelda headcanons #zelda lore #loz mc

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abibeur · 9 months ago

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So. I played Side Order (or rather I finished Side Order, aside from a few completion marks that doesn't offer any spoiler stuff!).

I've been seeing stuff on Tumblr, on Discord servers, on YouTube comments by people who were… Not entirely happy with it. Or rather disappointed. "They could have done more…", "This character was underused…", "I preferred the Octo Expansion…", "Let's re-write it for something better…". And let me tell you, I was (and still am) infuriated when reading these. Not because those comments and posts and messages were unfair, unjust and idiotic or anything (well maybe the re-writing thing was uncalled for), but because I actually loved that DLC. I think that's pretty normal to be angry with seeing a thing you love being shit on, even if I get what all of you meant. But I still wanted to share my own thoughts (because why not, I like saying what I think).

First and foremost, let me just say that I have a pretty different relation with Splatoon than most people. I was in since the release of the first game. I didn't play it due to a lack of Wii U, but I watched a lot of videos. And I liked it! I even had Splatoon OCs, I could be considered a fandom veteran at this point! But after some years, I put it at the back of my head as something I loved. When the Switch came out, I didn't have the money for it and no one would buy me one, so I continued to be a PC gamer. And when I saw the news of a Splatoon 2, I dismissed it like it was something silly, "what can you say more about Splatoon!?" I knew there was some new idols, some stuff about a DLC, Callie being kidnapped, but that's all. I dismissed all of this, and as a result I don't have much of an attachment for it. But in 2021, when I saw the news about a third game, I was ecstatic again. And in 2022, when I finally could afford it, I bought a Switch. Not just any Switch, the Splatoon themed one, and I pre-ordered the game. And when it came out, I spent less than a day to finish the story mode, and it was one of the best day of my life, I played Splatoon for 16 entire hours. Splatoon 3 is now my most played game on the Switch, more than 300 hours (that can seem not that much for some of you, but I'm a casual gamer, I don't play every day, so that's still a lot!). I even bought Splatoon 2 and the Octo Expansion after that. Splatoon 2 story mode was incredible, because that's the game I never got to play but more mastered. Octo Expansion was incredible, because it was… incredible. But I still liked Splatoon 3 story mode better. Is it because I've played it before? Because I hadn't the one year of unskippable Off the Hook news to make me like them before the DLC (to be fair I didn't know much of Deep Cut too!)? Because it clicked more on me? Honestly I don't care. It's not important, because it's still my preferences. But let met tell you, when the news of Splatoon 3 DLC dropped, I was roaring. Every crumbs of news and trailers widened my life expectancy. I was finally sharing the hype that you felt for Octo Expansion. And…

Two days ago, I played it. And I loved it. Why? Why did I love it where so many people seem disappointed? This will not be an analysis, I'm not good at those, just… Here's how I see things. Also there will be huge spoilers so if you haven't censored the tags for whatever reason, I will hide it beneath a read more because I'm nice.

First, the gameplay. When I heard it was going to be a roguelite, I was intrigued, because it seemed interesting. I was wondering how it was going to play out, more like The Binding of Isaac, or like Hades… Okay I only played those two. And it was like Hades. But I think the best thing to come out of this gameplay is… Well, the fact is every mission from all other story modes (including octo expansion) are pretty much the same in that they have an intended way to be beaten. Sure, for OE and S3 you have a choice of weapons, and there's probably unorthodox ways to finish them (including speedruns), but it's still organised around a specific way to deal with the levels. You go at one point and there you're done. And that's why I will never re-play the story modes I already finished. I know the ropes, so… Why? But here… The gameplay itself doesn't change much. It's an amalgamation of most Splatoon gameplay since now, Salmon Run, Ranked Match, Octo Expansion levels… But the way you APPROACH this gameplay is different and that's why every thing changes. Because you are now free to choose. You don't want a stage? Choose another one, the cost of a good chip and membux not being that punishing, you want a specific type of chip? Go for it! There is so much fun combos to do, I have fun at every run! They told us it was going to be replayable. And they haven't failed to give. Because when I want to replay a game, then I know it's good. Aside of multiplayer games and games made to be replayable (TBOI, Dishonored…), some of favourite games are Half-Life 2 (my favourite game in general), Hollow Knight and Mario & Luigi Bowser's Inside Story. Once you've finished exploring it all, well there is nothing else. But I still want to experience it again. And again. I have tens and even hundreds of hours on each of them. So yeah. If a game makes me want to replay it, I like it! And also… The final fight. The "phase 2" of the final fight. It was probably the most satisfying gameplay in all of Splatoon. Every path you took? Every path you didn't take? It was there. And you could experience it all together and finally finish your first run, empowered by it, in-game and outside. This was so good. I really wish we will get updates like more stages, bosses or even chips, because wow.

Secondly, the atmosphere. This point will be much shorter, but holy shit this game was incredible to be immersed into. The cold and sanitised atmosphere of the Spire? Amazing. Obvious Portal and liminal spaces vibes, but hey. And the music… Really the music makes a lot of it. The final fight music is absolutely incredible, one more time, and the credits theme is probably my favourite credits theme of every Splatoon game and DLC (that VIOLIN, that heckin' VIOLIN). I wouldn't be able to say which one of Octo Expansion and Side Order's atmospheres was my favourite. I guess I'm less sensitive to childhood memories and such but hey. Both DLC's atmospheres were incredible good.

Finally… The sore point of everything I guess, the story. I guess we expected more. Even myself, I expected something darker, deeper, more mysterious and esoteric… Have I been disappointed. No. I understand that some people were, but I am not. And frankly, I feel like I don't have to be. Like what do we really wished for? More octoling lore? Marina's past uncovered? Mature themes and dark atmosphere? I am just describing Octo Expansion. We didn't need Octo Expansion 2.0. Every theme that I've seen wished for? Octo Expansion tackled them, greatly even. So did we really need to do the same thing again? I feel like Splatoon 3 was the great conclusion of the other games' story modes, where all marine life finally united against the common enemy: mammals, the past of Earth's life coming back for its great revival. And it was a spectacular conclusion. And Side Order was Octo Expansion's conclusion. But it wasn't that bombastic, it was more of a calm conclusion, an epilogue of some sort. Marina wasn't in great danger or anything (well she was but less than we expected), we didn't need to expand the damsel in distress role for confirming Marina and Pearl's relation (which was pretty much hinted on greatly without it lmao), we already knew that. We didn't need some dramatic story about Marina's departure's effect on the one she was close to, like some people predicted for Acht. I think some fan comics explored this way better and Nintendo telling their own version would have been disappointing either for it or for the fan comics' versions! We didn't need more insights on Eight, because once again Octo Expansion ALREADY did this. Eight seems happy with their new name and identity, so why should we uncover more? They already won a lot with Octo Expansion and their sacrifices would have been dull if there were reveals on "who they really are".

Nah. Side Order, how I see it, is a story about fixing the damage made in the Octo Expansion. It's a story about recovery. About finally confirming your place in the world and accepting that everything will not be like you think it will. Acht is not there to expose Marina's errors, Acht is there to show how this recovery can work. She symbolises every octoling Marina left when she quit the army and ESPECIALLY every octoling she swore to help. And she's also there because it would have been less interesting to see an octoling we've never seen before, especially since she is an octoling we knew got Kamabo Co.'d! Every palette is someone we already know, an anchor to the world of Splatoon, and for Eight, an anchor to their memories, as the locker was their palette. As they know more and more people, they know more and more where their place in the world is. And the end of your first run? The start of the final boss phase 2? Yeah the music is Pearl, Marina and Acht's. But it is Eight's pulse that got everything back together. Their heart beating made the world beating again. They found freedom, now they found their place in the world. They're finally complete. Like you complete your palette with every chips at once. Octo Expansion final fight was their last fight for freedom. But I think this was their last fight for identity.

But outside of that, I think Order/Smollusk is more than that. More and more we advance through completing the palettes, we learn that Smollusk is the result of Marina's wish for order in her life (and her fellow octolings') and especially the other octolings developers dreams. And I think that's really important, because after that, we learn that why Smollusk still fights us is because it's… alone. And Acht seemingly understands that. You know why this is? Why it doesn't understand Marina's intentions by "betraying" it? Because Marina, as opposed to the other developers and Acht, found someone. She found her partner for life, the love of her life you could say, she found someone else that could offer her something great. And I think the other developers didn't find that companionship, so they had other goals with the Memverse, and Acht, left behind by Marina, felt this loneliness too, taking refuge in music, so that's why she understood what Smollusk felt. I think Splatoon story is a lot about isolation, solitude and loneliness. The (Inkadian) octolings were chased from the surface, living in the underground, isolated and forced into military life. When they risked survival, they stole the great zapfish and we sent then back into the dark. So they retaliated by stealing it again and also kidnapping Callie, separating Marie from the person she holds dearest (while Callie thought she could offer them company and finally uniting back the two people). Octo Expansion was also about isolation from the surface, for everyone involved and Tartar… Well the mammal (and adjacent) survivors don't really have it well, huh? Judd was made immortal, a great lonely situation for one of the last mammals, even if the professor give him Lil Judd for that (isolating the latter from self expression, oops!), Tartar wanted finally someone who could understand the knowledge he was bearing, and in his final instants was longing to return to the professor and for Grizz… We saw what happened in the logs! But this is not where it ends. The first final Splatfest was literally choosing between the Squid Sister, separating one from the other. And when the Splatocalypse happened, we thought it would be the same, that both option were going to be negative. A endless world of anomy where nothing makes sense against a cold and dystopic dictatorship. But we saw Chaos rather meant a world of differences where anyone can be what they want to be and still be reunited with people. So now we see what Order meant: reuniting people by putting them on equal terms. And at the end, that's what you and Smollusk agreed on! He'd be a difficult final boss and you'd be a formidable opponent for him! Splatfests weren't meant to be divisive or anything, it's just a fun way to see what do people choose in their life. So to face loneliness and meet new and fun people, what will you choose? Chaos or Order?

I guess I understand if it wasn't the story you wanted to see. But I liked it either way, as I also struggle with loneliness and finding my place in the world. And as I also like roguelites!

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 side order #splatoon 3 side order spoilers #side order #side order spoilers #somewhat of a long post with my thoughts

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lucaswarmhotchocolate · 8 months ago

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uhm okay this is devastating and I read it in Voldemort's and Harry's voices at different lines and overall what the fuck is this poem. it sounds like an excerpt from a harrymort fic. Old English Anglo-Saxon poetry goes hard, mayhaps??? The author of this is actually a harrymort shipper who got reincarnated into the body of an old english Anglo-Saxon poet. Harrymort is canon and was predicted by a writer many many moons ago.

"I lived inside you, I could not get out of you, I was enclosed in flesh, and your sinful pleasures oppressed me, so that very often it seemed to me that it was going to be thirty thousand years till the day you died. I waited all the time, with difficulty, for our separation. Certainly the end of it is not so good now! You were puffed up with your feasting and full of wine, you raved in your power; and I was thirsty for God's body, the soul's drink. So you never considered, here in this life, never since I had to live in you in the world, that you had been conceived violently by flesh and by sinful pleasures, but that you were upheld by me - and I was the spirit sent into you by God. You never saved me from these cruel torments of hell, because of the pleasure of your desires. You will have to suffer shame at my humiliation on that great day when the only-begotten summons all the human race. You are no more popular as a companion to any living man, to your mother or your father or any of your relatives, than the black raven is, not since I went away out of you, alone, by the hand of him by whom I had been sent. Your red ornaments cannot get you out of here now, nor gold nor silver nor any of your goods, not your wife's ring nor your rich house nor any of the goods that you once possessed. But here your stripped bones will have to wait, their sinews torn off; and your soul will often have to seek you out - against my own will - and say foul things to you, just as you did them to me."

Soul and Body I

#dying #my own heart and mind have just been devastated by a natural disaster called this fucking poem #im going to eat my walls #chew a hole in the base of the drywall and scurry inside and hyperventilate in there until i eat my way back out #art is violently painful to witness at times #body AND soul #u know who this is about babes #LITERALLY THO. first line and i was like “ohmygod harrymort??? harrymort poem??? what is this from”#only to be SLAPPED IN THE FACE because it's some old ass BITCH talking about RELIGION.#also im ngl i 100% see harry as being sent by god in this that's how i originally interpreted it #but i am also a sucker for voldemort being compared to god/gods #though he feels more like he belongs in the illiad than scripture #voldemort is meant to worship someone else #and harry is closest to a god in the more literal/actual sense what with him being master of death in most interpretations of the story #but i love the ambiguity of the poem leaving room for it to be from both harry and voldemort's perspectives #im so obsessed #genuinely took psychic damage reading the whole thing and i loved every moment of it #harrymort #harry potter #voldemort #haha didn't forget the ship/character tags this time #(still processing)

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ask-eden · 1 year ago

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The manaphy cocks her head in confusion at the mew's words Immune:... "formal"....? What do you mean? Eden: W-well It's... It's just.. You're talking to me like... L-like im your master!... or something.. OR y-your dad... or... some.. important.. dude.. a-and I'm not... Eden: I d-don't want... THIS... to be like... THAT... I just.. I want us to be equals... Just.. can talk to each other without... labels like that.. If that makes sense..? Immune: I think it does.. I am sorry, I should have asked before assuming.. The manaphy nods, her antennae flopping back and forth with each nod as she processed the information. Her face mildly scrunched as she thought for a moment Immune: So, would you prefer I just call you Eden? Or do you have a nickname I should call you Sir- I mean Eden? Eden: Well... uh... The mew thought for a moment before a sudden pang of pain stabbed him in the chest. He did have a nickname But it was something that only Luan called him.... Luan.... You'll never see her again.... Eden winced at that thought, biting his lip nervously and looking away from the manaphy Eden:.. I guess... I do have one... I had a friend... She was really nice... m-meant a lot to me... She used to call me "Eedee"... Immune: heehee... Eedee? That's a silly nickname! You're friend sounds silly! Eden: W-well she was.. silly... and v-very nice.... She was my best friend... Immune: Did something happen to her? Eden: N-no... She's fine.. I just... BEcause of.. ALL THIS.. The mew flails his hand around dramatically in gesture to the situation they were in Eden: I won't be able to see her again... Immune: I'm very sorry to hear that. Eden: so U-um... I guess... you could... call me that.. If y-you wanted. M-maybe.. just.. as a... Immune: Would it comfort you if I called you that, Eden? Eden:... It might.... I d-don't want to forget her... Immune: Then consider it done si-I mean... Consider it done! Eedee! Eden's ears flick in amusement at the manaphy's high pitched tone at the nickname Eden: You don't have to squeak it like that.. Just Eedee. Immune: EEEEEEEEEEedeeeeeeeeeeee Eden: Eedee Immune: EeE... Dee? Eee DUH.. Eden chuckles a bit at the manaphy struggling to say the nickname in a normal tone But quickly flinches as suddenly the heart shaped object in his hand flickers

Eden: W-what was that Immune: Oh! Looks like you're waking up! Time to go!

The dreamspace begins to flicker, getting slightly darker and more blurry around them Eden could only nod in reply to Immune as he shifts uncomfortably as everything begins to blur and twist around him The manaphy stands and bows in respect to the mew, before standing back up and waving her arm

Suddenly even Immune begins to fade away as she continues waving at the mew The world slowly gets darker and darker, enveloping Eden fully It's time to wake up.

#chrono #Eden #Immune #sfw #pokemon ask #pokemon ask blog #mew #manaphy

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vamossainz55 · 2 years ago

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Moonlight Ch. 13 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

a/n: hi everybody <3, it's been a while and i'm sorry i've been quite MIA. i'm hoping i can get back into writing again soon! it was quite hard for me to write this chapter, it is a bit more of a snippet-y / filler chapter but wanted to write some fluff for moonlight as the story progresses, i hope u enjoy !!

+ huge thanks to my canadian sunshine @cosmicleclerc for helping with some ideas for the chapter and dealing with me complaining, ilu <3

warnings: literally none just fluff !

link to my masterlist here

link to chapter 12 of moonlight here

Chapter 13 (4k words)

“Good morning,” The last thing you expect on a Tuesday morning is to see Carlos at your door so early, but there he is, looking far too energetic for your liking. You’re still half awake, dressed in your joggers and tank top, having woken up seconds ago from the doorbell ringing. Carlos doesn’t seem to mind though, already letting himself into your room, breezing past you to go inside.

Despite having made plans, you were not expecting Carlos to show up to what apparently was almost nine in the morning. He had decided to keep the plan a surprise, which had also included the time you both were to meet.

“I know we agreed to go out today but I didn’t think you meant this early.” You say, watching him as he sits on the edge of the bed. Carlos simply shrugs at your remark, a smile playing on his lips and you can’t help but roll your eyes playfully. He did always find a way to surprise you. Once you’ve shut the door you head to him, standing in front of him.

You take your time to look over his attire and you can’t help but smile to yourself. “Was this the master disguise you were speaking about last night?” You ask, walking over to him. He looks up and you can barely see his eyes due to the bill of his baseball cap.

“Hey, that’s a bit rude.” he says, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout. You would have felt bad if his said disguise wasn’t just a plain baseball cap, a hoodie and blue jeans.

Your hand reaches over to his cap before you gently push it down, smiling the moment Carlos lets out a yelp. His hands go up to fix his cap but instead you’re taking it off.

“It's only rude if it isn’t true” You say in amusement and despite your playful teasing Carlos is smiling from ear to ear. Now that you’re closer he takes the opportunity to reach over to hold your waist. His touch sends sparks over your body, as your legs knock into his. You almost stumble over hands instantly going to his shoulders, cap falling on the floor.

“At least I’m already dressed.” Carlos says, looking up at you with a mischievous smile as his fingers gently trace under your shirt. The way he’s looking at you has you burning red and you have to look away.

“You’re annoying,” you murmur just as Carlos lets go of his hold on you. You move away, pressing your hands to your cheeks for a second, in hopes that the colour would go away.

“You didn’t tell me you would be here this early, and you haven’t even told me where we are going yet. How am I supposed to know what to wear?” You ask, giving him a small pout before leaning away, planning to go to your suitcase.

Instead of letting you go though, his grip on your waist tightens as he falls back onto the bed, soon pulling you with him. You let out a surprised groan and in a matter of seconds Carlos is flipping you over so you’re soon on the bed. He’s hovering on top of you, supporting himself with his arms with a wide grin on his face.

“I told you, it’s a surprise.” He says, slowly letting himself lean closer. For a second you think he might kiss you but he stops just as your lips are almost touching. “Now get ready okay?”

You end up settling with a shirt and a simple top, changing in the corner of the room with Carlos’ eyes discreetly on you. His eyes burn into your back and the moment you turn around already dressed he’s getting up off the bed, clearing his throat discreetly before shoving his phone in his pocket.

“Let’s go?” He offers and you nod your head, grabbing your purse before you’re following him to the door.

Luckily, you both manage to sneak out of the hotel without much commotion, only bumping into Lando who Carlos shoos away before he even gets the chance to tease you both.

It’s once you’re both in the car that Carlos is handing you his phone, asking you to plug in a cafe’s name into the search bar of his navigation app.

“Heard it’s a nice breaksfast place,” Carlos says as your eyes scan the distance. You understood why Carlos had showed up so early, noticing that the cafe was almost an hour and a half away from the hotel.

You’re watching the road pass by, leaning your head slightly on the window as Carlos drives. There’s soft music playing from Carlos’ phone and despite the lack of conversation between you both there’s a nice ambience in the car. Carlos looks focused, tapping his fingers softly on the wheel to the beat of the song and you can’t help but let your gaze travel to him instead of the road.

You both hadn’t talked too much after the night at his, it had ended how you both had agreed. Carlos had dropped you at your doorstep with a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips. You both had lingered a bit, sharing small conversations about work. It was clear none of you wanted the night to end, but you both also understood that you needed some time.

Meetings in the office were quite limited, and Carlos had different press activities to do whilst he was in the UK so you both barely saw each other. It was only the night before the flight that Carlos and you properly talked, him of course saying that he would pick you up on the way to the airport.

You thought that was it (which you had been a bit disappointed about), but when you were already in bed and half asleep your phone had begun to ring, loud and clear.

You had picked up the phone in a hurry, wanting the ringing to end. You remember being a bit annoyed, realising you had forgotten to turn off your ringer as you pressed your phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You had sighed out, but hearing Carlos’ voice on the other end of the line had surprised you, allowing all the annoyance to seep out of your system,

“Were you asleep?” Carlos asks, and you can hear the slight guilt in his voice. You smile small at his tone, shifting a bit in your bed as you rub your eyes. For a quick second you check the time before pressing your phone to your ear again.

“Well, it is one in the morning and we do have to wake up in four hours.” You answered, tone playful and Carlos lets out a breathy laugh and you can almost imagine him nodding his head sheepishly.

“I know- sorry. I just couldn’t sleep.” Your smile falters a bit at his words, feeling concerned for the driver. You wonder whether he was feeling stressed about the race, or whether something else had happened.

“Is everything okay?” You ask and the lapse of silence that follows has you a bit more worried. You slowly sit up. “Can I help with anything?” You offer, feeling your heartbeat in your ears.

“Everything is okay,” Carlos answers and you can hear him take a deep and sharp breath. There’s a nervous laugh that follows after. “It’s not like that,” He explains before saying, “I just wanted to know if you want to go on a date with me?” He asks and the question has you floored.

“You called me at almost half past one to ask me on a date?” You ask, stunned. You hear a shift from the other side of the line, Carlos probably settling himself in bed too and you can’t help but wonder what it would be like to just lay next to him.

“I know, I know. We said to wait when we got to Canada, but what if you said no?” Carlos asks and this time you can’t help but let out a soft laugh, endeared by his antics.

“Well why would I say no?” You counter, pulling the blanket up to your chin as you wait for his answer.

“Well, you haven’t said yes yet.” Carlos says and you roll your eyes fondly, moving to your side this time. You curl up into yourself, phone still pressed at your ear.

“You’re really something else.” You murmur, shaking your head. “We can go on a date there. We just need to make sure people don’t recognize you,” You say before Carlos is rambling off on how he had the perfect disguise to hide in plain sight.

You both stayed up for another hour after.

The café Carlos had picked was a small hole in the wall styled café, tucked into the corner of the street in the outskirts of the town. It didn’t look much from the outside but the moment you both step in, the smell of freshly baked bread and freshly grinded coffee grounds envelopes you both.

The café is far from busy, only a few tables being occupied which helps you relax a bit. You notice most of the customers are older in age and you can’t help but smile softly at the sight. Your eyes soon meet some of the staff and you give them a small smile as you and Carlos walk up to the front desk.

One of the servers gives you a quick smile, heading to you both with two menus at hand. She’s an older lady, with warm features and crinkles by her eyes that only expressed warmth. Carlos is quick to pick up his steps, following the waitress to get to the table first. He heads over to one of the chairs to pull it back, looking over at you expectantly.

You raise your brow a bit at the gesture, blushing when Carlos moves his hand to urge you to sit. You tuck your shirt in with your hands before sitting, thanking Carlos softly when he pushes the chair in. His fingers shadow your shoulders briefly before he’s going to the other side of the table, sitting down too.

“Thanks for joining us, my name is Maya,” The waitress says once Carlos is seated. She gently sets the menus in front of you both, “I’ll be your server for the day. We’re not too busy today, so feel free to take your time.” She says with a smile before going over some of the recommendations.

The menu looks quite simple, but you both politely request for a bit more time after ordering some coffee. You rest your chin on your hand as you eyes scan the menu, humming softly to yourself. You can hear soft chatter from the other tables and the sound of the coffee machine steaming and you can feel yourself relaxing a bit. It was nice to have a little peace before the race week, knowing that it was usually more hectic than anything else.

You can feel Carlos’ gaze on you, not surprised the moment his hand reaches over to gently tap at your elbow. He’s resting the menu down on the table as he waits for you to look up. “What?” You ask softly when you find Carlos smiling at you.

“Just wanted to say, I am happy we’re finally able to go out,” he says, foot gently poking yours under the table. You smile at his words, nudging his foot back playfully just as Maya comes back, this time with your coffees. Once she takes both your orders and your menus your hands wrap around the coffee cup, blowing off the steam. Carlos does the same, and as you wait for the cup to cool down a bit your eyes continue scanning the rest of the café.

The café was decorated modestly, a few plants here and there along with some newspapers framed and hung on the wall. It seemed quite local, the rest of the guests seemingly being from the town. You notice Maya and who seems to be the other server chatting up with an elderly woman a few tables down.

“How did you find this place?” You can’t help but ask Carlos who is also looking around the café. It’s clear that it’s his first time as well, being too interested in the way the wooden floor was built for it to be a place he would be familiar with.

“The receptionist recommended it to me last night, and was asking for a nice place to have breakfast.” Carlos says before taking a sip of his drink. He lets out a soft delighted sigh, setting the cup down. “Think they recommended a really good place.” He says with a smile and you can’t help but agree, settling a bit more in your seat.

The food comes by quite quickly, and if the coffee was to say anything, the food was somehow even better. You had ordered a plate of pancakes that was drenched in the best maple syrup you had probably ever tasted and Carlos looked happy too with his own stack of pancakes paired along with some bacon.

You both chat about everything and nothing all together, hunched over your plates as you exchange small quips. It’s nice and easy and for once you’re not thinking about anyone else apart from the person right in front of you.

By the time you eat your last bite you’re warm all over from the food and you lean back to your chair, letting out a content sigh. Carlos who’s finishing up his last bite simply watches you with a smile on his lips.

“All good around here?” You both tear your attention away from each other, soon facing Maya who is already carefully collecting your plates. In response, you bob your head quickly, giving her a wide smile before thanking her.

“The food was amazing, really.” You say, Carlos being quick to agree with you. Maya simply smiles at you both.

“I’m glad to hear that, it’s nice to see a nice young couple like you two come around. We don’t get a lot of new people, we usually run with regulars.” She says. Carlos and you both share a quick look at eachother when you hear her words.

For a second you realise you’re both waiting for one of you to correct her, but you’re both met with eachother’s silence. A warm feeling grows in your chest when Carlos breaks his gaze from yours, looking down at his coffee cup with a shy but sly smile.

“If we lived here we’d definitely be regulars,” You answer instead, laughing softly when Maya waves her hand at you.

“You’re both too sweet. Is there anything else I can get you?” She asks and despite how full you feel Carlos is butting in, asking for the muffin you had been eyeing on the counter when you both had arrived. Despite your argument of being full Carlos insists anyways, getting you to concede without much resistance.

Carlos looks far too excited for the muffin, claiming that it isn’t race week yet. He’s careful with cutting up the muffin in half before picking one piece up. You expect him to take a bite but he’s soon leaning forward, resting his free arm on the table before hovering the piece in front of you.

Your cheeks are burning red when you realise what he’s doing but you lean a bit over the table anyways, taking a careful bite before properly sitting back down. The acidity from the lemon mixes perfectly with the sweetness of the muffin and you can’t help but let out a soft groan.

“That’s good,” You say as Carlos takes his own bite, eyes going wide, clearly impressed too before he’s going for another.

You both agree not to tell Rupert that you order a second muffin after.

Before you leave you make sure to leave an extra tip in the jar (since Carlos had foot the bill without saying anything) with a promise to come back if you two were ever back in town. You’re both so stuffed though that for a moment you consider telling Carlos to turn the car around to go nap in the hotel. You don’t though, not because you don’t want to because you both don’t make it to the car, getting caught up by the window near a small second hand shop next to the café.

You’re both peeking through the window, looking over the little trinkets. “Let’s go in? We have some time still,” Carlos suggests, bumping his shoulder into yours and you’re soon following him in, hearing the little chime from the door just as it shuts behind you. The shop owner greets you from somewhere in the back and you both greet him back before looking around the store.

The store is like a little treasure chest, the lights dimmed to a warm yellow to match the earthy smell inside. It’s somehow cluttered perfectly, slightly slanted wooden shelves crammed together and delicately holding everything up.

You’re both looking around when you catch yourself from the corner of your eyes in a mirror. You slowly turn towards it, smiling when you see an oval mirror with a worn out gold frame. You’re focused on the frame, fingers delicately tracing the curves of the metal when Carlos slowly comes from behind you.

You smile at him through the mirror, not missing the way his hand gently goes to rest on your waist. “It’s a cute store,” You say softly, stepping a bit closer towards him so you’re properly side by side. His eyes stay on your reflection as you shift your attention to the other trinkets around the shelves. His fingers gently rub into your side pulling you a bit closer before moving his hand away. Instead of stepping away though he’s taking your hand in his, quietly intertwining your fingers instead. You drift your gaze back to the mirror, eyes meeting Carlos’ again.

“Let’s go hm?” He murmurs into your ear this time before giving your hand a squeeze. You squeeze his hand back, nodding as you watch Carlos come closer to press a kiss to your cheek.

The ride to your next destination is much closer this time and his hand stays on your thigh the whole drive there. You try your best to squeeze any information possible out of him but Carlos keeps his lips shut, refusing to tell you what’s next on the list.

It’s only when you’ve seen three of the same signs along the way that you realise where you’re both heading to, and your suspicions are confirmed when Carlos takes the turn towards the big aquarium sign on the side of the road. It feels all too familiar to ignore the swelling in your chest.

“Really?” You ask with a small smile and Carlos simply shrugs, glancing over at you.

“Think it’d be nice no?” He says, knowing exactly the memory that was crossing your mind.

You remember the summer all too well, the trip to Valencia that your parents had finally let you go on. It was a typical trip for all your friends. Oddly enough, you had never been able to join, your own family trips or plans usually getting in the way.

That summer though, you had managed to get your parents to agree to let you go, mainly for the fact that Carlos was going. During the past year with Carlos racing more, you two did not manage to see each other much. Despite this, you both stayed attached to the hip (or to say, the phone). Whenever you could you both would talk either through short phone calls or video calls.

You couldn’t even count the amount of times you or Carlos stayed up late or woke up earlier than necessary just to talk and catch up. Carlos had always been your best friend, but in the first years of his racing you truly realised what that meant.

The moment you both met in Valencia you had jumped into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist easily as he lifted you up. It’s still vivid, the moment you pulled away to look at him, and the sudden feeling you felt in your chest the instant your eyes met. You had seen it in his eyes too, even caught the little bit of fear in them as he set you down.

Both of you felt the shift, and suddenly all the teasing from your friends, the jokes of you two getting together felt a bit too real. None of you said anything though, and throughout the next week you both danced around each other.

It was normal, nothing had changed with the way you both were together. Little gestures that did not seem big before though began to cloud your mind, and drunk moments together had your heart in your throat.

Despite this none of you made a move. Not when you both were drunkenly singing along and dancing in the club, or even when you both were curled up into each other in the villa for a movie night.

Nothing happened that summer. Not until the last day when you both had decided to go to the aquarium.

To be fair, it wasn’t a date, or at least it wasn’t supposed to be one. The whole group had agreed to go visit the aquarium in Valencia, but after a late night with too many drinks, you and Carlos had been the only ones ready to go.

It wasn’t the best experience. The aquariums were far too bright, the tight and closed spaces with far too many people not being a good mix for two teenages with too strong hangovers. After almost an hour you both had decided to take a quick break at the side, having found a bit more of a secluded area with seats.

You remember it clearly, a soft blue glow shining over you both as the fishes were slowly swimming over you. Despite the beauty of it your eyes were shut, the hangover only having grown stronger. You were resting your head on Carlos’ shoulder, his head on top of yours. The soft chatter around you both was somehow lulling you to sleep but you managed to keep yourself awake by focusing on Carlos, who was explaining the different animals that were swimming by.

“I’m gonna be busy again after the summer,” Carlos had said quietly after a bit, enough to capture your attention and slowly get you to move to look at him. You remember how nervous he looked, fingers twitching as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I’m really happy we got to do this.” He said with a small smile and you had reached over to his hands, holding onto them.

“I’m happy too, I can’t wait to see you race again though.” You say with a smile as your thumbs slowly rub over his hands. “I’m gonna miss you but we’re going to talk,” You promise and Carlos simply nodded, taking a deep breath.

“I’m going to miss you too,” Carlos says, and you’re not sure if it’s the way he had said it or if it was the way his eyes were peering into you that you feel a pang in your chest. The world suddenly slows down, the outside chatter nonexistent.

Carlos slowly guides your hand to his thigh and your heart feels like it's beating out of your chest the moment he slowly moves closer. You don’t stop him though, not when he asks you if it’s okay, or when his lips are practically ghosting yours. Instead you’re moving closer as well, closing the gap between you both.

None of your friends questioned you when you arrived back at the villa, fingers intertwined with flushed cheeks and reserved smiles.

“So, jellyfish,” Carlos says once you both pass the security. He’s already pointing to the corner of the first aquarium, gently pulling you by your hand. “Did you know they’re 95% water?” He asks with a smile.

“I think someone might have mentioned that before,” You answer, not missing the way Carlos’ smile only grew bigger.

Maybe you were ready to start new again.

fin.

ch. 14 coming (soon?)

a/n: as always i hope u enjoyed,, sorry for the long wait. i hope i can get ch. 14 out soon!! i will try my best to work on it once i can <3. sending all the love always and would love to hear what you think !

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270 notes · View notes

someguyinc · 1 year ago

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hello i saw you in the notes talking about arthur and morgana's relationship and i would love to hear you talk more please. i am unhinged about them.

(no pressure tho if you don't feel like it)

this is literally the best thing someone could say to me after a 16 hr flight 😭 bless u anon

also me too. so i'm just gonna ramble ab my headcannons and then also their canon relationship below the cut bc it is so interesting to me and i really have a lot to say and i really mean. A LOT.

so let's start off with season 1/pre-canon and the source of all their problems: uther pendragon. uther pendragon is fucking insane and possibly one of the worst parents ever,,, like def top 10 worst fathers i think

pre-season 1 time line as I see it:

- he marries ygraine from the house of du bois after becoming king,, probably like 3-7 years after,, he claimed he loved her (heavily debatable!!) and she seemed to as well so they assumedly married for love

- now uther has a best friend at the time: Gorlois (now if this is his name-name or surname i'm not sure so i'm just going to go say surname since they're nobility) This man is known by Uther had the bravest man he's ever met,, and his wife the Lady Vivienne probably lost him in battle bc later in season 3,, Uther says a much and says Lady Vivienne was: "lonely so he consoled her"...

- now, this is where my headcannon comes in,, I'm pretty damn sure morgana is older than arthur,, meaning that I'm pretty sure that Uther cheated on ygraine out of that shared grief and around this time ygraine probably was showing growing signs of being barren/unable to become pregnant which probably worried the court ngl

- so morgana conception happens,, vivienne goes away,, gorlois thinks she's his,, during this time uther finally gives in and sacrifices ygraine's life for arthur's and ultimately blames it on arthur/all of magic (remember the talk w uther and nimueh when he says: i wish he'd [arthur] never been born bc it meant losing ygraine essentially like,,,. ok. wow.)

- now season 1: there is so much evidence uther is an abusive shit:

- he throws both of his children in jail whenever they toe the line in a way he doesn't find amusing (ie: s1e4 and s1e12)

- arthur straight up says (he's about 20/21 atp): i never knew you were proud of me,, in fact i always thought i was a disapointment (meaning: uther never went out of his way to show him otherwise for a solid 20-21 years.)

and uther doesn't actually say he's proud of him he just goes: i wouldn't wish for another son (after drugging him so he wouldn't duel being a hypocritical king)

so all of this: leads back to morgana and arthur's relationship

morgana and arthur in season 1 have a somewhat tentative relationship,, we can see that most of the kingdom thinks the two of them are going to marry one another (including themselves at times) ie: gwen saying morgana would make a great queen one day,, but they also bicker all the damn time

snipes here and there,, but ultimately it usually comes down to their differences in how they reacted to their upbringing from uther:

arthur became the dutiful/exceptional son: he became a knight at 20 (usually took knights till mid twenties-early thirties), later we learn he led druid raids pre-canon (this traumatized him also again fuck uther) this would also be exceptional seeing as he probably wasn't a fully fledged knight even then, and is known throughout Camelot (and most of Albion tbh) as a master swordsman,, and while he did have his own thoughts on magic he often bit his tounge in front of his father in order to prove himself,, we also know that unlike morgana: he learned exactly how to navigate around uther so he could do what he wanted against uther's will while not embarrassing in front of the court (ie: when he went to go save gwen after saying to his father and the court that it was probably a lost cause)

morgana was the people's princess,, but she def got the "i am my father's daughter" syndrome BADDDDD: we see in s1 she's often stood up to Uther in front of the court numerous times, so much so that when she gets thrown into prison (s1e12) it's not the first time,, arthur tells her: "i promised him that this would be the last time you acted out against him like this" (paraphrasing) and morgana replies "you're a good man, unlike your father" (line that makes me insane)

they are parallel from the start within these two episodes specifically!!! many may argue morgana was good and kind from the beginning,, but she often did things FOR HER OWN MOTIVES!!! when she helped gwen's father to escape without consulting gwen,, it confirmed it for me. she may have convinced herself it was for gwen,, but she never even asked,, she did it to piss of uther not thinking it all the way through,, opening his cell and leaving him to fend for himself against a bataillon of knights. now i'm not saying morgana has never done anything out of pure kindness,,

but whereas arthur is constantly set up as a righteous and noble man in his heart but his actions can appear to be... for lack of a better word, extremely dickish

morgana's actions appear to be kind and generous, but can often endanger those around her in her conquest for the things she wants, sometimes ending in death. (AGAIN NOT ALWAYS!!!)

NOW this leads me to the fact that once again they were the only two who grew up under Uther really and are the only ones who know what that's like,, they probably already felt more like brother and sister by the time s1 hit just bc of that but endured it bc they weren't blood and swallows the fact they were probably gonna be married but you can see it in the scenes alone,,

morgana does push arthur to be better and to challenge the things uther taught them bc that is what she instinctively does!! morgana questions uther and in return teacher arthur to question uther (ie: pushing arthur to save merlin in s1e4, helps him to strike down valiant s1e2, makes him argue back when gwen was wrongfully imprisoned s1e3) and we see that morgana does care for arthur!! she threatens sophia when she noticed something is off and often rushes to the defense of her friends,, her tactics can be destructive though just in a parallel way to arthur's

arthur's destructiveness comes from his inability to choose a side, or based his assumptions on prejudices something that becomes even more apparent when morgana turns away from Camelot and it's people

morgana was probably rooting for arthur as a king for a certain point,, but even though the grew up together and she should know arthur's MO is usually 'just say yes in front of dad and do whatever the fuck is just later' morgana doesn't trust him. and as her powers grow this also becomes more apparent and her support wanes until she believes someone else should be on the throne,,,

and when she learns that uther is her father??? that's when she flies off the deep end.

now for me morgana being older than arthur is one of the only reasons why she would have a valid claim to the throne!! we see that mithian as the only girl succeeded her father as QUEEN not just princess meaning the laws of succession COULD include women it just depended on the region,,

now imagine being morgana:

you grow up at home with your father, he is kind, brave, and gentle, and a fearsome warrior, he is the kings best friend. he dies and you move in probably around the age of 8 and you see this 6 year old boy. you later learn the kingdom expects the two of you to marry. you're still grieving but you know what this means. you take the etiquette lessons, you learn to wield the sword, you become proficient in horseback riding, you gain the education fitting of a queen. you are 15, the prince is 13, he is already one of the most promising squires. it's alright though you're learning to love him, not as a romance though (not anymore at least, he tried to flick his booger at you once at the age of 8, the flame was staunchly out out.) you two appreciate one another, you get older, it is improper for the two of you to be alone together, you witness your first execution. he's being killed for the crime of sorcery (he saved a little girl from a burning building), you don't understand. you meet your maidservant, she is one of the most lovely people to grace the earth. you love her, as a friend. you grow older, you're still expected to marry the prince (he is 18), he has killed many. he has watched even more die. he is different, you are different. you watch another man die for the crime of sorcery, you don't understand. two years pass, you're tormented by dreams you cannot comprehend but always seem to come true, a serving boy arrives, he changes the prince again. you watch another man die. you don't understand, but you hold your tounge now until later. the king's temper is short. years past and the sleeping draughts aren't working, your dreams are getting worse. your maidservant is in love with the prince. you're jealous, you don't understand. you think you have magic, you see the prince become his father. you don't understand, you just want someone to tell you it'll be alright. after years of anger and bitterness you finally understand, you hate the king and all he's done, the world would be better if he were gone, arthur would be better if he were gone. arthur loves him anyways and it kills you. you meet a woman who claims to be your sister, both of blood and in magic. you take her hand, she promises to teach you all there is to be taught. your anger for the king festers. the prince you once loved turns out to be your brother. the king you hate turns out to be your father. you beg him to recognize you, and give you the family name you were stripped of. he doesn't. you kill him. you kill s lot of people. you don't care if they're innocent or not anymore. you connive, and you plot, and you scheme. you try to kill the prince, who is now king. your sister dies. you miss your best friend, the handmaiden who is now queen. she says she hates you. you hate arthur. you die trying to make him as miserable as you.

now arthur:

one day your father brings a girl home, everyone is telling you that they you expect to marry. father doesnt say anything. you think she's pretty, you accidentally flick your booger at her and she looks at you like you've wiped horseshit on her dress. you watch a man die for the crime of magic. you don't understand, you will soon. your father looks at you like there is someone he can't stand to see. he cherishes this girl he's brought home. you work harder than any squire seen before. you get promoted early, everyone says it is just because of the king, you beat them in everything so they can't secondaries you ever again. you watch more sorcerers die, your father says it is because they killed your mother, you secretly feel like a bad person because you don't understand why all sorcerers deserve to die for the crime of one death. even if it is your mother. you twist her ring. your father's ward is beautiful, you try to impress her, she's too busy hanging out with her maidservant. you get older and complete your first druid camp raid, you don't understand, so many of them are women and children, so many of them die anyways. you change. you grow older, you become the youngest knight in camelot, you think it will turn your father's ward's attention to you, she's infatuated with owain, the oaf. you get older, and you meet the most insufferable boy with the most outrageous ears and the most obvious lies. he changes you. morgana becomes more distant. you learn that your mother's life was given for yours, you try to kill your father. the manservant you trust most in the world says that sorcerers lie, you finally understand. you hate sorcery and despise any practitioners of magic from now on. you grow older, you begin to fall in love with your sister's manservant, you understand her infatuation. you grow as a prince, and person, you gain alliances in unlikely places, you don't think you'll marry morgana anymore. you learn your father's ward is your sister, you watch as she usurps the throne. you don't understand. you fight back. you become king. you marry the love of your life. she betrays you with a close friend. you become lost. you forgive her, you trust again. you are fighting your sister. always. you don't even recognize her anymore, you wonder if you ever did. you later learn that magic was never evil, on your deathbed, and that your soulmate had it the whole time. you wonder about your sister. she tries to kill you again. she dies in your best friend's arms and all you can think is how she finally looks peaceful for the first time in forever. you die the same way not too long after.

anyways: morgana and arthur parallel each other so hard it's crazy,,, and the pendragons are a family of self-fulfilling prophecies

like that is your sister/brother and you love them and you hate them and nobody else couldn't possibly get it and they hate you but you will always love them and you are home but you can never go home and -!

#some guy talking #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #morgana pendragon #i have more to say ngl but like #im gonna take a shower #they make me so sick #DO YOU HEAR ME!!!???#anyways thanks for the ask sorry if this was literally incomprehensible lol #asks #merlin meta

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minnielvr · 1 year ago

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ROSES - CHAPTER 28 : "take me back?" ──────────────────

y/n saw a notification pop up on her phone, so she picked it up and read the name of the sender, it was felix. as much as she hated him right now she really couldn't resist looking at the message. she unlocked her phone and opened the app, the message read:

"ik u hate me rn but come to the hill by ur fav restaurant at 7. please be there"

y/n had somewhat of an idea of what this meant, either he was going to talk to her and ask to at least be friends or ask for another chance, and she didn't know wether she was ready to make that decision or not. but she still decided to go because deep down she knew she loved him. a lot.

‿୨♡୧‿

so there she was, sitting in front of her vanity, the clock read 6:25 pm and she still had no idea of what to wear, and if she should do any makeup. so naturally, she called yunjin.

"hey y/n whats up??" yunjin answered the call and asked

"felixwantstomeetupwithmeandihavenoideawhattowearhelp" y/n said in one breath

"woah woah slow down there..what did you say?" yunjin clearly couldn't understand y/n's fast talking/mumbling.

"FELIX ASKED TO MEET UP AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WEAR. please help" y/n was scared to look at yunjin through the phone screen

"HE WHAT?!?! NAH HE DOESN'T GET TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW" yunjin was furious at his behavior

"look yunjin i know how fucked up everything he did was and i understand how stupid thus is of me but i really love him and no matter how much i try convince my self that i hate him i really don't."

"oh...okay. well if your sure then" yunjin smiled, knowing y/n really loved him

yunjin guided y/n on what to wear, telling her if something was too dressy or too casual. also telling her that she should just do a light makeup look, to not make it look like she was trying too hard for him. just to let him know that she's not desperate.

the clock showed 6:45 and y/n realized she had to leave because she barely knew the directions to this place and it would take a while to get there. 'kinda stupid of him to not even send me directions while its night time' but she decided she could talk about that to him later, if things go good. so she thanked yunjin and hung up the phone, grabbed her purse, and left her apartment.

‿୨♡୧‿

to say that getting to the meeting was hard is an understatement. y/n was sure to yell at him for this. but the whole adventure was so worth it when she got there.

y/n was met with the sight of an arch with roses and vines wrapped around it, rose petals on the grass, candles everywhere, and then she saw him, never did y/n think that she would see THE lee felix of stray kids, with a ginormous bouquet in his hands and his eyes teary, all for her.

"felix?" y/n called out

felix looked up from where he was staring at his shoes and breathed a sigh of relief, she even saw a bit of a smile.

"y/n...you- actually came" he was suprised

y/n kicked the ground beneath her and said "well yea..i mean it would be kinda of rude if i didn't." she scoffed.

"NO. i-i mean..no. i would completely understand if you didn't show up, I was the one who was rude. i acted like such a dick, gosh i am so sorry. god you have no idea how fucking sorry i am. i have no idea what got into me. it's like all of a sudden i had someone controlling my mind or something, i just go so insecure and worried and i feel so stupid for that, i cant believe i trusted that bitch. i just thought that i wasn't enough for you and you were just with me out of pity or something. and i KNOW you wouldn't because thats not you. i feel so bad for calling you a whore, i just got in my own head and wanted to make you feel bad about yourself and i don't know why i would ever want that because i only what you to be happy. i only want you to feel loved and taken care of. so yes, i know i fucked up..REALLY bad. but i swear to god that if you just give me once more chance i will prove to you i'm not that type of guy. so please..take me back?"

───────────────────

series masterlist • prev • next

a/n : coooooooooolll with uuuuuuu😞

taglist : @felinows @hannahs-docx @peter3sgf @sunoo-bby @marcillfll @kaizny @linocvp1d @n03llez @grayscorner @amara-mars @mrsseochangbin @imasimplol @2200am @rosa-emerson @l0ve-joy @escapetheash @seochangbins-wife @khocoholic @xrvrqs @hoeinthehouse @lovingmny @mloyer @notmebutyouu @sserafimez @veedoesntknaur @your-platonic-gay-lover @ilovelixie @siriusly1 @tinyelfperson @soulphoenix1618 @lauraliisa @myforevermelody143

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stories-and-chaos · 10 months ago

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Tarnished pt 7

[Helluva Boss AU where Blitzø’s childhood theft from Stolas’ palace is discovered and major consequences ensue for everyone involved.]

[18+ rating for language, sex, violence, alcohol consumption, abuse, and general Hellaverse-ness]

[CW: mention of nonconsent, self harm, alcohol abuse]

[Part 7/?? Word count 3178]

—————

The shower being the best place to think is universal across species and realities. Which was unfortunate for Blitzø. He didn’t want to think about anything at the moment. He rested his forehead against the tile wall and just let the water run down him.

The thought of Stolas marrying Stella made his stomach twist. The idea of that girl being around constantly was sickening. Maybe if Stolas would try to find another Goetia this whole thing wouldn’t be so bad.

Except that idea didn’t make him feel any better. Anyone marrying Stolas was an awful prospect. Someone not actively hostile joining the palace at least didn’t terrify him, but the anxiety over the wedding didn’t abate.

Satan’s taint, fuck this! Blitzø punched the wall, irritating his bruised knuckles. No way, I fucking can’t, shitshitshit. He couldn’t have feelings for… He couldn’t. Prince Stolas was demon royalty. He was Blitzø’s master. Despite everything they’d tried to subvert the bond Paimon had forced on them, it didn’t change the fact that Blitzø was Stolas’ slave. The prince had his life in his hands.

He couldn’t have feelings beyond this strange friendship they maintained. Stolas had his life. He shouldn’t have his heart too. And if it was too late for that, Blitzø could never let on that he did.

He stood in the shower long enough to get the worst grime off without scrubbing. The fact that he’d cried almost the whole time and only got out once he couldn’t anymore was incidental. He had enough energy to dry off and fall onto the twin bed in the nude.

back lte, see u wen I wak oop Blitzø texted to Stolas on his flip phone just before passing out.

It was just before noon when Blitzø woke up. He ached from horn tip to hoof. At some point in the night his tail had gotten tangled up in the blanket. He found Waffle Iron, the horse plushie Stolas gave him, in his arms. There was a text from Stolas, sent not too long after Blitzø sent his.

Welcome back. You don’t have to worry about being on time for anything tomorrow. I am up late myself after all. I found a document on creating portals and it gave me some insight on making them for travel between realms. I’ve been practicing most of the night and I’m eager to share what I’ve discovered if you’re interested. In any case, I’ll be getting some rest now as well. Goodnight Blitzø.

How Stolas was able to type these walls of text so fast was still a mystery. Whatever, at least he had some leeway this morning. As they had gotten older, Blitzø had been entrusted with more of Stolas’ personal care. That was generally in the morning, acting as a valet. Throughout the day he was something of a dogsbody, something of a bodyguard depending on the situation.

First up after getting dressed was to check if Stolas was up yet. He could hear hooting snores as he cracked open the prince’s bedroom door. Sounded like he’d stayed up even after sending that text. Blitzø grabbed food from the kitchen (hot dogs, cheese, and crackers) before heading back to Stolas’ chambers.

The prince was still asleep. With nothing else to do at the moment, he grabbed a novel from the book alcove. Blitzø had been expressly forbidden from doing any cleaning anywhere in the palace. Not that the staff hadn’t tried. But Blitzø’s version of cleaning was not up standard and often meant more work for the maid staff in the end. So while he wasn’t much of a reader, it was better than being alone with his thoughts.

Stolas finally woke up about an hour later. “Bout time.”

“Good morning to you too Blitzø.”

“It’s after one.”

“Oh. Good afternoon then?”

“There you go, Floof. You want food or clean up first?”

“If we could have lunch prepared while I’m dressing, that would be preferable. Have you eaten anything yet?” Stolas extracted himself from the pile of blankets and pillows as Blitzø pressed a buzzer to request food from the servants.

“I had something earlier.” He pulled an outfit out of Stolas’ wardrobe; shirt, trousers, and vest that could work with or without the long capes the owl demon liked. He joined Stolas in front of the mirrored vanity.

Stolas lifted an elegant eyebrow as he finished washing his face. “By ‘something’ do you mean a slice of cold lunch meat?” Now that he was so much taller than Blitzø (and essentially everyone in the palace) his friend handed him garments and helped with adjustments instead of actively dressing him.

“No,” Blitzø replied, sounding offended. “It was cold hot dogs and cheese. Some crackers too.” He stuck his tongue out at Stolas while buttoning up the vest.

Stolas didn’t miss the bruising on the imp’s knuckles or his split lip. Looks like some sort of altercation occurred overnight. He thought the protection from the bond was equally effective wherever Blitzø was. Evidently not. “Well that is an improvement.” He sat down so Blitzø could stand on a stool to fix his head feathers. Best to bring up the subject of injuries after food.

“Looks like you had an exciting time last night,” Stolas said as they finished lunch. He grasped Blitzø by the hand, examining the knuckles. “I thought my protection would be at the same strength everywhere. Are you hurt elsewhere?”

Oh shit. Blitzø paled and yanked his hand away. “Wasn’t on purpose. Some punkass Sinners wanted to make trouble. I got banged up a bit but it’s fine.” His shoulders hunched as he tried to pull away without leaving his seat.

Stolas blinked, confused. Blitzø was more agitated than he’d expected over a fist fight. “Did anything else happen? We can talk if you need to.”

Ohhhhhh nooooo that was the last thing Blitzø wanted. Deflect, deflect! “Crashed a party, had a good time. If it wasn’t for this fuckers on my way back it’d have been a great night. Thanks for letting me blow off some steam.”

“Ah, of course. I only wish I could do so more often.” Stolas was flustered. The imp kept insisting things were fine despite looking worn out and upset. He didn’t want to push too hard though. Maybe Blitzø just needed space. He didn’t get too much in general and Stolas didn’t want to take away the little privacy his friend had left.

Indeed after about a day, Blitzø seemed back to normal. Their routine went back to normal for a few days. Blitzø was mostly sleeping on the lounge or in his room but that wasn’t abnormal.

Stolas was relieved it wasn’t anything serious. At least until he had another “date” with Stella. This time they went to her family’s estate, so her older brother was in attendance as well.

Again, afterwards Blitzø asked to leave for the evening and although he wasn’t injured like before, he was just as prickly and closed off. He insisted he had fun, meeting other teenage imps and going to parties or occasionally clubs. Then all would be back to normal by the day after.

This cycle repeated for a few months, with Blitzø becoming increasingly closed off. He was spending as little time as possible in Stolas’ presence and not engaging in their normal conversations. Some mornings he’d obviously been fighting and others he’d overindulged with whatever drinks were available.

The owl demon realized how upsetting the whole situation was for him when he noticed he’d overpreened while Blitzø was out in the evening. The bald patch wouldn’t show when he wore long sleeves but he had to fight to not make it bigger. It was hard however. His best friend was becoming more miserable by the day. His fiancé made little effort to connect with him. Stolas just wanted to keep his mind off it by constantly adjusting and cleaning his feathers; at least that would relieve the emotional stress for a while.

After three months Stolas couldn’t take it anymore. He’d attended an afternoon tea party with Stella. Blitzø had remained at the palace. He couldn’t exactly mingle with the servants and following Stolas as he escorted Stella was nauseating.

Stolas let himself collapse into a chair in his sitting room. Normally he enjoyed his well fitted clothing (he never claimed to be modest about his appearance). Today it all felt claustrophobic and he stripped off everything except for his shirt and boxers. Not a dignified look for a prince of Hell. Dignity be damned, he had enough of dignity at that tea party.

Blitzø picked up the shed clothes. The cape would need wrinkles pressed out but the rest of the clothes needed a wash. He did minor tasks around the chambers to avoid conversation. As the light faded he asked, “Mind if I leave for the evening?” It was something of a routine now, for him to have a night out after a Stella related day. He had to get permission each time though.

Stolas sat upright suddenly. He’d hoped that without having to be around Stella, Blitzø wouldn’t feel the need to get out tonight. Apparently not. Stolas almost gave permission on reflex but managed to stop himself. He didn’t want Blitzø to come back miserable again.

“Actually I’d like your company tonight Blitzø.” He winced as the binding glowed faintly.

Blitzø felt the pressure on his neck. Satan’s asscrack! Stolas might not have intended the order but it was too late now. “Sure,” Blitzø managed to croak. “What did you have in mind, master?” Fuuuuuck why did he say that?

Stolas stumbled over his words. Blitzø had called him master before, but either in a teasing tone or flat and formal when among other Goetia. He’d never heard Blitzø’s voice with that much venom. “We could…watch a movie? Or talk? Or maybe…” he trailed off, not wanting to admit he wanted to cuddle up.

Blitzø took some time to respond. “A movie would be fun.” With the added benefit of preventing conversation. Especially if they picked something they hadn’t watched before. “Wanna use the theater?”

The palace had a private screening room on the first floor. It had half a dozen overstuffed recliners set up in front of a projection screen. There was a fully stocked candy and soda bar, along with a popcorn machine. With the kitchen on the same floor it wasn’t hard to request something more substantial as well.

The two had been known to fall asleep in there as kids, after eating too much junk food and marathoning movies (or as close as nine year olds can manage a movie marathon). They had also broken two chairs, as they made excellent springboards until collapsing.

When Paimon handed over ownership of the palace to Stolas, he opened up use of the theater to the house staff and security. Until then it had been restricted to only the family but Stolas felt it was silly for it to be unused most days. Staff could use it during their time off and they had to clean up after. Evidently it had become a popular spot for dates, since they didn’t have to leave the grounds and spend money to squeeze into a crowded cinema. It was a good thing the recliners were leather.

It seemed gatherings of friends enjoyed it too. A group of five imps and three Hellhounds was cleaning up as the credits rolled when Stolas and Blitzø arrived. “Your Highness!” The Hounds all snapped to attention, one dropped a wastebasket as he did so. “Apologies sir, we will be gone as soon as possible.”

“No rush, we’re still deciding on what to watch after all,” Stolas tried to reassure them.

“Heeeey Bliiiiitzø,” one of the imps called out. Scarlet, a maid about his age and one that was not only civil but very friendly with him. “Blitzø, hey man, haven’t seen you much lately!” That was Vex, one of the footmen a couple years older than him.

“Now that I can go all over Pride, I gotta get the full experience.” He put some sugary temptation in his voice. There were a few hotties working here and these two were at the top of the list. He slipped behind the bar to get his and Stolas’ favorite sodas and buckets of popcorn.

Vex leaned over the counter. “Well, so long as you don’t completely forget all the fun experiences here.” The other imp’s tail was swishing around, eventually the tip lifted high enough to brush Blitzø’s cheek.

Scarlet hopped up on the counter and looked back at him over her shoulder, her own tail wrapping around her coworkers. “We should have a movie night together, just the three of us.” Her tail moved to swirl around Blitzø’s arm. “Or just two of us.”

Jackpot! “For sure, can’t forget old friends.”

The group finished cleaning and left Stolas and Blitzø alone. Watching Blitzø flirt… Stolas felt a stab to the gut. He awkwardly cleared his throat. “There’s quite a few we haven’t watched yet, is there anything you’d like to see?”

“Nothin sappy.” Blitzø settled into a chair with his pile of goodies as Stolas started the film and dimmed the lights. The prince had selected an action comedy; nothing heart wrenching, enough humor to lighten the mood and a satisfying level of blood and explosions. They followed up with the less impressive sequel and the trilogy redeeming third movie. Between the second and third they had an intermission to order dinner from the kitchen. After the last movie it was almost midnight.

The clean up rule applied to them as well so they made sure to leave the theater in a fresh state for the next viewers. Blitzø was excitedly talking about the explosions and blood sprays as they headed back upstairs. Stolas for the most part was listening, laughing along with him. He hadn’t seen Blitzø this cheerful in months. I missed this.

When they reached Stolas’ chambers, Blitzø attempted to head to his own room. Stolas grabbed his hand, saying “I’d like to talk, please?” The imp followed. He was trying to figure out some way to get out of this conversation. He’d been avoiding Stolas just to get away from discussing…anything at all.

Blitzø sat in one of the chairs in the drawing room. Shoulders hunched, feet dangling (it was sized for a Goetia), and tail wrapped around himself, he hoped he made it clear he didn’t want to do this. Stolas sat across from him, twisting his fingers nervously. They both were silent, not sure how to start. After a few false starts from Stolas, Blitzø hopped out of his chair.

“Great, good talk, see you in the morning!”

“No! Blitzø! I … we can’t keep this up!”

“Keep what up?” The imp twitched in place, his back to Stolas. “Everything is fucking fine.”

“No it’s fucking not!” Blitzø jerked up. Stolas almost never cursed, much less raised his voice. “You’re miserable, becoming more so by the day and I can’t stand it! Please, talk to me Blitzø.” He didn’t respond. Instead he stayed rooted in place. “Blitzø I don’t want to order you to talk but-“

“Oh, you’re gonna pull that card prick?” Blitzø knew he was toeing the line, insulting Stolas, but he couldn’t help it.

“No! No, I’m sorry Blitzø, I don- I didn’t- I’ve never-“

“But you can Stolas.” Blitzø finally turned to face him. “Even if you never order me around, you can and I can’t say no, and I… I probably wouldn’t even try. To say no…” Dammitall, he did have feelings for the other demon.

Stolas’ pinprick pupils emerged, something that only rarely happened when he was feeling emotional. “What-“

“How am I supposed to talk to someone who can just drag everything they want out of me?! And what does it matter if I’m miserable? I fuck up everything anyway! So I might as well just be miserable and you can live your perfect prince life!”

“How is my life perfect?!” Stolas’ voice cracked on the last word. “My father hates me so much he made my only friend a slave, I’ve got to marry a vapid harpy who already hates my only friend, who is slowly destroying himself and I can’t do anything to fix any of it!”

Stolas had risen to his feet but now he slumped on the floor, roughly at eye level with Blitzø now. “I don’t know if I can ever break the chain my sadistic father put on you. And it’s grinding you into pieces and me with you because you really are my friend and I like you and I’ll never be able to make you happy…” his words lost their usual deliberate cadence, turning into a babbling flow.

“I know you like me, that’s why your dad was such an asshat.”

“I mean… I think I like you Blitzø. More than friends, as they say. Except you’re bound to me. Trying to be anything other than friends is… You can’t say yes if you can’t say no. I have to settle for making you comfortable.”

Every thought vanished from Blitzø’s head like Sinners during Extermination Day. “You’re fucking with me,” he said with that growling hiss.

Stolas shook his head; it hung down as if he couldn’t support it. “Why else would I be trying so hard with Stella? She despises both of us. But we’re all going to be stuck together and getting her to be civil is all I can think of to do.”

That’s why he keeps bringing me? Blitzø dropped to the floor, near Stolas but facing away. “I…Floof, I don’t want you to marry anyone,” he mumbled. Stolas’ hearing was excellent; he could whisper and the prince would hear him. “I thought it was just because she sucks, but anyone marrying you… it fucking sucks.” He looked over his shoulder, barely peeking out. “I think I like you too, Stolas. How messed up is that?”

“As messed up as a Goetia liking an imp. At the very least. I think the only thing more messed up is an angel liking the first woman.”

Blitzø finally looked straight at Stolas. “You did not just compare us to the King and Queen of Hell.”

“Did I? It was just a hypothetical scenario.”

“Yeah right punk. I know you better than that,” Blitzø shoved Stolas’ shoulder. He was rewarded with Stolas’ hooting chuckles. “I’ve had one too many emotions for today. Let’s talk tomorrow.”

“Of course. Logistics are best sorted in daylight.” The two hesitated, not sure where to go from here. Blitzø finally asked. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Please do,” came the instant reply.

Neither of them were up for more than sleep. Even when they started getting physical they both went at a slow pace, to ensure they could both say yes. But the next morning Blitzø was wrapped around Stolas’ back, with Stolas’ arms clinging to his.

A/N : I realize this is probably a more mature conversation than two teenagers would have but I haven’t been a teen in [redacted for old] and I don’t feel like attempting it. We got plot to move people!

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#helluva boss #helluva stolitz #helluva blitzo #helluva stolas #helluva fanfiction #hellaverse #helluva stella #helluva au #fanfic #fanfiction #blitzo #stolas #blitzo x stolas #stolas goetia

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gamenburger · 2 months ago

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update on Review of the Killer print versions

Hello everyone who has followed me after my zine release. Thank you! You can expect other (hopefully) cool things from me about many things both niche and big, so look forward to that.

But about some things I'll be releasing probably tonight:

So what many of you might not know is that I finished playing Anthology of the killer, fell in love with it, and realized I needed to write something about it- esp when I discovered the bonus zine tucked away in the files. I realized that the steam release was in 14 days, and so i tried to do something I never do: finish something on a short deadline. This meant my life sort of became this zine outside of work (and inside of work. wouldn't it be cool if slime cooper ever stole time from work?? what am I saying), but even with dedication you end up running into time slipping away and things getting cut. 24 pages gets cut to 20 (which I will discuss in detail in the bonus features coming out in a few days) but the biggest thing to get shafted was the quality of the print versions. So let's really talk about this: I don't know jack shit about printing, in the way nobody knows jack shit about anything until they do it a bunch. So yes- those bleed versions are -bit- worthless since they will always provide no actual bleed on one side. Those black and white versions will look, well, strange. because they unfortunately use a lot of red, which will look very dark in greyscale. I also use a lot of flats because it looks nice in color, but in grey you really need images to have a lot more space (except for the black zones. Tbh I love wasting ink on a big blob of ink for contrast sometimes. I do it IRL all the time with my actual ink). In addition, it turns out printer settings that have booklet modes will force margins on the interior page side as well. It means I need to make versions of the pages that are pre formatted to print booklet mode, rather than relying on you to have a printer that does the hardwork for you. I was simply running out of time, and needed to get *something* out that could be printed.

Also it turns out if you don't bundle everything in a zip file, nobody downloads the readme. There was useful stuff in there!!! But I understand. I know why you wouldn't read it. I'm just shaking my head over here because i literally declare my love for you (yes you, reading this) in the readme. SMH, once again. So here is what i'm doing tonight:

extending the border trim of all pages so that way the master bleed version will ACTUALLY have room for bleed (1/8th of an inch around) for both formats.

Make new print versions that ALSO have the bleed room left in for Letterhead and A4, in case you felt like getting these professionally printed. I do all my stuff homegrown, so this truly is for in case you wanted to sell these. Which you totally can!! But I say that because I'm picturing someone actually thinking the thought "i'm going to print this zine read by about 150 people and print it for mega profit, and ill do this by spending 500 dollars at a print shop" and my brain instead pictures a dog dressed in a really cute clown outfit instead, because seriously who is that? Just print some printer copies and give them to some bookstores. Keep the money they give u so you can make the money on material back, and maybe buy some more cool artist's stuff.

Looking at all my pages and adjusting them by hand to be more economic for black and white printers in new separate Greyscale editions. This will include adjusting some colors manually, as well as doing that cool dot thing that printers do (well, i guess all printers do this just really finely) to save on ink. Plus the texture will look better on crazy cool looking paper. Seriously go visit a paper store. They make all sorts of nuts stuff. Read the manual for your home printer too- it can take a lot more punishment than you realize.

Correcting some egregious spelling mistakes. I am sorry. Lmfao. grant me this one indulgence since I literally gave everyone a free pass to distribute it.

Zip up all the print versions together in organized folders, along with and updated readme, including new instructions for all the versions as well as how to print these if you have a printer that doesn't do double sided printing. I glibly said "just go to library" in the original readme, but seriously. I had no clue how to do anything as a baby child and so i have deep sympathies for anyone in the exact position I was (not knowing anything+not having anything).

The in browser version might get updated as well. I'm not honestly sure tho... part of me is super against editing. but man those grammar errors on the paper doll pages are bad... lol anyways have fun with these. If you print them/ give them out you do not have to give me money- although i like money. well, i like not not having money, if that makes sense. but im already not not not having money, so thats why i'm fine with you all selling it- I'm not a starving artist, and I would rather u all get some of that not not not having money in your life so you can spread it around to artists who are! And if you print them, please show me pictures, esp if they go on a shelf or in a library somewhere. I love seeing things out and about. And once again, thank you for reading and sharing this online. This has crossed the threshold for everything else I've ever published as far as confirmed reads, and i've received a lot of kind words from a lot of kind folks about things I've personally agonized about trying to get right. Its validating. Its nice.

okay kids, you can go back to playing. thank you for listening to this old skeleton tell you some things about paper.

#zine update #zine #zine promo #art zine #of the killer #printmaking #printing

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