#i am extremely grateful for all of the people that has shown interest in interacting with my guy

[yingren]

happy holidays i spent mine sitting in my mom's living room using my phone 98% of the time as per usual. i hope y'all had some good food. if you don't celebrate then treat yourself anyway! small activity update below cut.

i think i just needed to reread my own hcs and remind myself what i love about writing ren. with that said, i am still a little overwhelmed with the amount of things i've left sitting for a while and i am still going to clean those out and then redo my pinned and poke around my drafts and inbox to queue things that i'll then start posting after new years.

i need another day or so to chill out and recharge but once i bounce back from holiday stress i'll come invade your inboxes. i did also update my guidelines a little bit, nothing that will impact any of my current mutuals.

[vigilskeep]

Dunno if this this ask makes much sense, but how do you suppose Irving’s favoritism looks day to day? Barring extreme circumstances like Anders’ escapes from Kinloch Hold…I imagine it’s probably just additional responsibility and tutorship, but I also doubt Anders would have agreed with that so maybe it depends on the individual? Maybe with some mages he thinks are promising he’ll intervene, but otherwise leave them alone? Idk

ok SO

while i have compared the two to make funney posts, there is actually a distinction between irving's Anders Style Favouritism Behaviour and his Mage Warden Style Favouritism Behaviour. irving's favouritism to anders is notable in comparison to his lack of preference for someone like jowan, clearly seeing one as dangerous and to be sacrificed for the greater good, and the other as harmless and charming and generally of value/salvageable. (irving's all or nothing perspective towards blood magic comes into play here.) irving was "endeared" to him, and it was irving who "in particular looked upon anders with sympathy", counselled the templars to make allowances for him, and warned him against going too far after karl was sent away, because at some point he would no longer be able to protect him. the style of day-to-day interaction during anders' circle days is probably shown in this from irving's codex: "he can soothe templars angered by some childish magical prank at the same time that he lauds the pranksters, and everyone walks away satisfied." irving probably let him get away with a lot when it was harmless, and his fondness shows in his continued efforts to protect a troublemaker who had been trying to flee the circle since he arrived. it's clear that he cared about the kid! and continued to care about him no matter anders' less than grateful response, even after everything: "when asked if he regretted not punishing anders more severely, perhaps with tranquillity, irving only sighed and would not discuss the matter further."

but i emphasise that irving cared because all of this is more of a personal attachment, simply an interest taken in, and a fondness for, a young mage of the circle who happened to by nature stood out. it's not suggested that anders necessarily had the specific, formal relationship or day-to-day interaction that irving and the mage warden have: mentor and apprentice. in kinloch hold, each apprentice has a specific mentor; keili mentions her mentor, you meet wynne's apprentice during her personal quest, various ambient dialogue mages discuss their mentor or their apprentice, etc. etc. and because they are the specialest little guy, amell/surana's mentor is the first enchanter himself! irving has talked about your progress personally to loghain himself prior to ostagar, wynne can potentially say at ostagar "you advanced so quickly in your training that irving never sent you to work under me" (i imagine this is suggesting wynne helps tutor most young mages), people like uldred refer to you as "irving's star pupil", duncan says "i am sure irving is very proud to have had you as a pupil", irving of course personally recommends you to the wardens and ensures your recruitment, etc. etc.

while i imagine the mage warden had many other teachers, as irving is responsible for the entire tower and also not the most powerful mage in it for a star student to learn from, irving would presumably be primarily responsible for the mage warden's education. it would be irving they went to for tutorship or if they had any difficulties. keili says that her mentor allows only a certain amount of time a day for religious contemplation, so they clearly have authority over their apprentices' daily life and curriculum. irving after all says to the mage warden after the harrowing "take your time to rest, or study in the library. the day is yours", and i would imagine he usually has more specific plans for them to... do more studying in the library. (it's kinloch, what else are you going to do?) i very much doubt irving's teaching was just magic, too! irving is a competent mage, but his greatest skills and primary interests are administration and diplomacy. there's a reason people keep recognising you as irving's favoured student; he's setting you up to be a political player, and he's the one who successfully organises you becoming a grey warden. i imagine any mage warden would have a grounding in the associated skills

it is of course up to the player's choice whether irving's favouritism for the mage warden would have also had to involve smoothing things over with the templars like he did for anders. it may also be up for hc whether anders was indeed his apprentice too; to my knowledge there's no information on a specific mentor for anders, though considering the detail with which world of thedas covers their relationship it seems odd that being his primary teacher wouldn't come into it. it's not necessarily required for anders' mentor to have been a fellow spirit healer/creation specialist, as it's not like the mage warden was specialised when they finished their apprenticeship or like they have to follow any of irving's magical preferences, so that's no reason he couldn't be. (i checked and irving actually does have more spells in creation than any other school. i'm not going to analyse that spell list too hard right now because we could genuinely be here forever.) i would assume that circle mages only tend to specialise after their apprenticeship is completed anyhow, kind of like how you'd only do a degree after you finish high school. also because, you know. why invest in specialist training before you know if the kid's going to make it through the harrowing, am i right

as an aside it kind of alters irving's vibe a lot what kind of mage warden you play. but i think it's very interesting that he clearly cared about anders and that he is so invested in the mage warden and publicly proud of their talent regardless of whether they're loyal or defiant, studious or disobedient, amell or surana

[mx-matched-knickknacks]

HERE WE GO [Under the Read More cause I already know it's gonna be loong LMAO]

Bfbfvegege maybe I am praising him too much in this and yeah maybe someday I'll go back to this post and cringe, but hell, lifes short and the internet is forever, right? I don't really go on Autism rants about my interests often, so if your looking for trouble simply keep scrolling thank you very muchh 💚💚 (and im sorry if anything written comes off as rude, that is not my intention i promise)

Well... here we are. I think it's fitting that now, at the end of this era, I write one big love letter to Joost and this fanbase hahaha XD

As many of us approach knowing of Joost for HALF A YEAR (holy shit, already?!) and we finally get the answer that he's not going back to ESC next year, I can't help but be nostalgic :•}

Obviously getting really into this Dutch artist was not expect haha, but ohh what a ride it's been so far. And because of TikTok of all things XD As an American fan, finding him was purely by chance, but I'm ever so grateful I did. Ive spent so much of my freetime watching the live Europapa performence over and over and over again, folding and cutting and glueing those cute little paper dolls of him, scrolling endlessly on TT for every little bit of love shown, watching every interview and live performance hes done (and all the concerts he played at!!!)... and also spending maybe a little bit too much money shipping Chrome Magazine over to the US lol ^^; This probably wont sound like much to you, but this one man somehow managed to disrupt my ongoing 4 year streak of a different special interest! How about that!!!

Now... ive seen both wonderful and absolutely terrifying things from this fanbase, if im gonna be totally honest... ^^; but overall id say my experience has been pretty good! Obviously I have not interacted with ppl within this space much (as often happens with my interests sadly) but yall who do act right are pretty damn cool and extremely talented !!!!! (And huuge shoutout to those who work hard to translate from Dutch to English too, like JoostSubs on twt!!!!) ^^ This kind of creativity is what Joost wants to inspire!! Remember that!!! And I do want to take more steps into being more active in the fanbase in the future <3

Now about Joost himself...

I don't think I've ever know of anyone who's star shines as bright as his. Through time and turmoil he remains steadfast and ever so kind to those around him (almost to a fault). With his friends; Stuntje, Apson, Lyon, Tantu, Donnie, Alanis (and all the rest of em!) He's shown incredible amounts of love and care for :'•) Even after becoming such a big name worldwide, he still remained in a state where he can still do what he loves with the ones he cherishes most and that's just so damn wonderful to me 💙💙💙 His pure unadulterated silliness, his infectious joy and positivity, and how he unabashingly is himself no matter where he goes are qualities i really do look up to in him. Just the most wonderful guy I've ever seen whos sooo full of whismy...

Though I can't relate personally to the meanings behind most of his songs, I don't think that prohibits me from still appreciating just how much heart and soul he puts into them. And seeing all the people who have been helped and felt heard bc of his music... it just makes me very happy, yknow? Is that so cringe to feel?

I don't wanna talk as much about his disqualification and that interview he did earlier today (for not focusing too much on the negative), but I do firmly believe that he was treated extremely unfairly just in general by... certain groups (you know the ones). I will say that I am very glad Tantu called them out tho 😁😁. The decision of not going to ESC 2025 being last minute did sort of surprise me tbh. Maybe one day he'll release the song he made for next years ESC, but it did seem to cause all of them a lot of ultimately unneeded stress... so I wouldn't be surprised if that's something released in the far future. I really do hope that Joost and his friends can spend good time healing from everything that has happened since May, whatever way they find suitable.

I don't think I'll be leaving this fanbase anytime soon (or will be able to LOL), but as we reach sunset of this "Europapa" Era, I want to say:

Gabberland Era here we come!!!

Love Always Wins #LAW

Unity forever and ever 💙💙💙

#JoostKlein2025

Be normal, be healthy

No matter where this future takes us, I'll be forever grateful to have Joost in my life 💚💚💚💚💚

Ty for reading my silly rant :'•} mwah mwah

Lord help me I'm about to type up all my thoughts about Joost after that interview 🙏🙏 /lh

[megthemewlingquim]

someone new.

summary: there's an art to life's distractions.

pairing: eventual hades! loki x persephone! reader

warnings: implied smut, alcohol consumption

a/n: here it is, the first part of foreigner's god. as said in this fic's masterlist, these will not be chapters, but rather short stories and one shots that can be read separately or as one whole piece. it's up to you.

i plan to base each part off of one or two hozier songs. this is inspired by "someone new".

is there a right way to fall in love?

    that’s what loki asks himself every day — well, every night — when he spends his free time at bars and gatherings. populated widely with fellow gods, goddesses, and spirits of many colors and passions; these bars are perfect places to find someone new.

    being the god of death, however, puts loki at a bit of a disadvantage. yes, the stereotypes are, unfortunately, true. loki is dark, a little antisocial, and very quiet. beautiful in appearance — death is seductive, at least to the willing.

    ‘the willing’ being many a spirit, many a dryad or goddess or creature who wants bragging rights, or a little nightly thrill. ‘that’s right,’ they say, ‘i had a little dance with death last night.’

loki doesn’t mind the mornings when his temporary partners talk about the nights, but he always cringes when they mention that accursed french phrase — la petite mort. it’s a joke to them. a mockery.

   yet, they stay, and sometimes, they come back for another little death.

    the spirits and goddesses never make a big impact on him. he is with one for a night, then another for a night, and so on. he falls in love every day with someone new and it’s a bore. a bore and a drag.

    dark caresses don’t do much to numb the pain: the pain of loneliness and solitude. the ache in his heart is constant, tearing at his mind whenever it can. alcohol can't do much either — all gods have a very high tolerance. mead was made for them.

   so loki is left with no escape besides those that come from the willing. little deaths. they make him feel loved.

   no...

   no one loves death. some crave him. but they don't love him.

   that’s the common theme running through loki’s head every time he takes someone home with him, or goes upstairs with them to the top floors of the inns he’s at, where the bedrooms are. it’s a distraction.

   however, the cycle ends when, while pointlessly wandering around his usual bar, he sees someone new one night. you.

   you radiate this... this warmth that he’s never felt before. everyone around you seems to be affected by it too - they don’t treat you as the life of the party, but they do gravitate towards you like birds to a nest. 

    and you’re quite shy, but infectiously happy and cheerful. you’re so beautiful, with your bright eyes that he knows are wide and filled with wonder, and your lovely skin that he knows is so soft. and your smile that he knows is so comforting to all who see it.

   to everyone else, you feel like they’ve just wandered into a happy memory, or a sun-lit room that’s pleasantly warm and golden. you feel familiar. ordinary, but lovely all the same.

   to loki, you feel... feel like something he’s only experienced in dreams. so, really, he’s never felt it before in his immortal life: something warm and alive and... and anticipatory. like there’s new things about to come up to the surface — flowers, new animals, maybe. you give off a sense of... he can’t describe it well. a slow and joyful awakening something.

   and you also feel completely and utterly powerful. unstoppable. he’s terrified of you, and yet he’s drawn to you. you’re so fascinating, strange. not as if you could end the world, no, that’s his own job. but it’s as if you can bring the whole world to life, raise it back up again after the chaos fades.

   you feel like spring. like rebirth. like new life.

   and that’s when it hits him.

   persephone. he’s heard the name passed around before, but before now, he has never seen the face behind the name. something about this sparks some fear in him: how would persephone, goddess of spring, daughter of demeter, react to seeing anyone even remotely like himself?

   for a moment, he’s grateful that you’re not looking at him; you’re actually looking at the table, at the drink you’re sipping. there’s a look on your face that isn’t bored, nor afraid. maybe... observant.

   people are around you still. not crowding, but not interacting with you either. it’s like you have a bubble around you, keeping everyone from getting too close. maybe it’s your doing but maybe it’s theirs. honestly, you’d think that dryads and gods and goddesses and spirits of all forms and colors and subjects would be more accepting.

   he pities you. you seem lonely.

   loki takes a few steps forward, betraying his own fear. like the red sea, the crowd parts. some are bold and unafraid, and they give loki varying looks: disgusted, seductive, snarky. you don’t notice him until he sits down in front of you, at the other end of the table.

   “hi,” he says calmly. he manages a small smile. “you’re new here, aren’t you?”

   your eyes lift to lock with his own. immediately, you recoil just the slightest bit. he knows what you’re thinking: wait, that’s hades! god of death... wh-why is he talking to me?

   “it’s alright,” he soothes. “don’t worry. you’ve probably heard of all the stories: gods kidnapping and doing terrible things to goddesses and spirits and dryads. i’m not here to do any of that. i promise.”

   with a single, somewhat confused blink, you nod. “m-my mother has told me a lot about that stuff,” you say slowly, as if saying anything too revealing will somehow alert demeter and get you in trouble. “she’s... she’s terrified...”

   “what is she terrified of? that those terrible things might happen to you?”

   “yes,” you say. “she’s told me that she’s had nightmares in the past. specifically about you. how you’ll kidnap me and take me to hell to live with you.”

   he laughs at that - a rich, amused laugh that takes the shivers out of you. “that’s bullshit. overprotective mothers, yeah?”

   you shrug. “she loves me.”

   “and are you afraid of me, princess?” the last word is whispered. his voice extremely soft - it’s a curious question.

   he notices how you lick your lips. “no,” you say. he notices how your eyes flick all over him. “no, i’m not.” and you seem truthful.

   “smart girl,” he says with a grin. “i hate liars. there’s not a god on in the world that’s ever been truthful. well, besides jesus. yahweh. whatever you wanna call him.” loki leans back, crossing his hands behind his head and bringing his feet up to the table. “your father, though... he’s the worst of ‘em. having children with other women, including your mother, while hera has to sit by and watch, and then lying about it.”

   “we’re gods,” you say. “i'm not trying to justify things but... we’re far from perfect.”

   “damn right we are. we’re fucked up. good. we can agree on something. most days, people think us gods are... perfect things. role models. and, maybe some are. but not us. not the gods of olympus.”

   he pauses, takes a swig from a beer bottle that was not in his hand a few seconds ago. “i was wondering if you wanted to do what humans do.” loki winces at the awkwardness. “when they're... y'know. interested in someone.”

   “you're interested... in me?” you ask, incredulously.

   “yeah, i am.” one sip of beer has loosened his tongue. or maybe that's just his confidence soaring now. “maybe this hasn't been the best introduction to things but i would love to take you out sometime. show you things.”

   “my —” you swallow. “i'd get in trouble.” you shrink away just a bit.

   his smile fades and it's replaced with a sadder, more sincere look. “the best things in life have risk to them. it's time i show you that.”

   and really, he does feel sorry for you. it's your first time at a bar, you're lonely. no friends as far as he can tell. an overprotective goddess mother.

   “think of it this way. i think you're very pretty and i like your honesty. i would like to help you see the world, and to have a little fun, since your mother has obviously never let you do anything in your very, very long life.”

   “i'm twenty—one.”

   “and now i'm wondering if demeter actually has you tell people that, as if you're a teenage mortal.” loki shakes his head, disappointed. “that's pathetic. you're a bajillion years old. you're a goddess! you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want, right?”

   when there's no answer from you, he sighs. leans forward to sit normally, putting both of his elbows on the table and pointing his hands at you. “alright. i'll roll with it for now. you're twenty—one. i guess. you can drink. you can go out alone to bars and other places. you can meet new people. you're an adult. think about that.

   “so, again. i think you're very pretty and i wanna show you around. get to know you. would you like to do that with me?” he raises his eyebrows a little, waiting for a response.

   it's an eternity before you can win a battle in your mind. slowly, you nod, giving him a smile. “yeah,” you whisper. “yeah, i would. thank you.”

   “don't thank me just yet, sweetheart. i haven't shown you anything yet.” he gets up, pushes his chair in.

   before he leaves, he winks at you. “call me loki. it's... not as dreadful... as hades. and... what do i call you?”

   you say your name, your voice quiet.

   “much better than persephone, i think. it suits you. we'll keep in touch, ok?”

   “okay,” you say. butterflies are flying rapidly in your stomach.

   loki leaves you there. he'd much rather take you back to your home himself, but that would be too risky for the time being. for now, he walks out of that bar feeling like the king of the world.

[haikyuu-baes]

I always get excited when i see new haikyuu blogs!!! good luck with the blog! could i request an scanerio/fic with single dad kuroo falling for babysitting y/n? thank you!!!!!

Pairing: dad!kuroo x reader

Genre: fluff; the slightest bit of angst towards the end

A/N: hi anon baby !!! i’m so so so sorry it took so long to write and you’ve been waiting so patiently thank you ;alsdfj i hope you enjoy this fic (it’s my very first one so exciting !) thank you thank you for requesting !! xoxo, dani

“Hey, thanks for coming so last minute.” 

“Kuroo-san, it’s my job. You don’t need to apologize.” 

‘Yeah, but you might have had plans today-” 

“(Y/N)-SAN!!!” 

Kuroo was interrupted by his daughter running towards the door. He warned her to slow down before she trips but couldn’t help but smile when he saw how excited she was to see you. You got a call from Kuroo this morning asking if you could come babysit his daughter, Hana, as he was called into the office on short notice. You didn’t mind; you’ve been babysitting Hana for nearly two years. 

“Couldn’t be more exciting than anything we’ll be doing today. Isn’t that right, buggy?” 

“Yeah!” Hana agreed, jumping into your open arms. “(Y/n)-san, (Y/n)-san, can we go to the park today?” 

“We’ll see.” 

“Sweetie, go finish your breakfast.” Kuroo said. 

“Okay. (Y/n)-san, come eat with me!” 

“I’ll be there in a second.” you said, turning back to Kuroo. 

“I made breakfast for you too.” He said, suddenly. 

“What? Kuroo-san, you didn’t have to.” 

“I figured you didn’t eat yet.” He responded. “It was the least I could do for calling you last minute. Plus… She loves eating with you.” 

You blushed slightly, flustered at the fact that he made breakfast with your company in mind. After exchanging a few more words and wishing him a good day at work, you finally shut the door as his car pulled away from the driveway. Stop it, (Y/n), it was just so you can keep Hana company, you thought. Making your way to the kitchen, you saw Hana sitting at the table eating her food and that there indeed was a plate of food for you too. Hana brightened up when she saw you. 

“Your food is right here, (Y/n)-san! I helped Daddy make it.” 

“You did?” you smiled at the thought of Kuroo cooking breakfast with his daughter. 

“Yes! And Daddy also showed me how to make the coffee. He even bought your favorite milk!” 

“Milk?” 

“Yeah, the one you put in the coffee.” Hana got up from her seat to open the refrigerator and pointed to a small container of your favorite coffee creamer. You gasped, you probably only mentioned it once or twice in the time span that you knew him. 

“He remembered?” 

“Well, yeah.” Hana stated as if it was a matter of fact, going back to her seat. “Daddy always remembers everything about you. “

You stared at her wondering what that meant before shaking your head. Sitting down at the table, you listened to Hana tell you stories about making breakfast this morning and what she did with Kuroo the night before. Then the two of you decided on what to do for the day. Hana mentioned that Kuroo was going to take her to the park before getting called into work. As you talked, you couldn’t help but think about how great of a dad Kuroo was to Hana; always making sure she is happy. You could tell she was the number one person in his mind and heart.

Your work was surely easier thanks to him, too. He would make the cutest of lunches for her to take to school, always placing a little note with encouraging words, wishing her a good day and telling her how much he loved her. 

He would also have a whole schedule for you to follow so Hana could enjoy her day to the fullest between kindergarten and after school classes (such as English because Kuroo was so proud about her baby speaking another language), because he always mentioned how important it was for a child to enjoy their childhood. 

The thought made you smile and Hana looked at you curiously, a tiny smile on her lips.

After breakfast, you and Hana cleaned up while listening to music, laughing as Hana would sometimes pause to dance, her bright giggles filling the whole apartment as she provoked you to chase her. 

She was adorable and so beautiful. 

She looked a lot like Kuroo: long, pitch black hair bouncing around in pigtails, (that Kuroo had done, thank you very much), big golden eyes and delicate and elegant body, just like a little kitten. 

“Well now, are you ready to go to the park?” You asked, placing a piece of hair behind your ear as you tried to catch your breath after chasing her just like she wanted.

Hana jumped excitedly, not tired at all after running all around the house. “Yes, (Y/n)-san! Let’s go!” 

The two of you reached the park, Hana jumping for joy the entire time and talking your ear off. You didn’t mind. You couldn’t believe she was the same girl you met two years ago; when you first met Hana was painfully shy around you, hiding behind her father’s legs and barely talking to you during the whole day, until one day, after Kuroo left for work, you let out a soft sigh.

"That tie is horrible," you had said and were surprised when Hana giggled loudly from the couch where she was watching cartoons. 

"I told Daddy the same thing, but he said that's one of his favorite ties," she said, covering her mouth with her little hands. 

Needless to say, you both went to buy a new tie and get rid of that ugly one. 

Since then, Hana has shown you how talkative and funny she can be. And you couldn't help but grow to love that lovely girl…

… perhaps not only her…

"Ah, (Y/n)-san! Are you also tired? Your face is getting red!" Hana said and you tried to call down your heart pounding against your ribs. 

But now, she was laughing so carefree, dancing and then provoking you to chase her around the playground. And you gave in to her playful antics, running around playing some form of tag game, scooping her up in your arms every time you caught up to her, and relishing in her cheerful squeals and giggles when you twirled around and nuzzled your face into her neck. After a while of playing around, you sat down to take a short break. Opening the little bag of sliced fruits you brought for the trip, you and Hana shared a few slices before she went back to the playground. You watched her run around to her own little imagination for a few minutes before you heard your phone ringing. 

It was Kuroo. 

You didn’t know why you felt nervous to answer now. He’s called you multiple times before. But even though your heart was racing you were also excited to hear his voice so you answered the phone just as Hana was running back to you. . 

“Hi, Kuroo-san!” 

“Hey, (Y/n)-san. What are you two up to right now?” 

“We’re at the park. We’ve been here for a bit so we might head back home- I mean, to the house soon” 

“Oh, okay, fun! Is Hana there?” 

“Yes, she’s right here!” 

You quickly handed your phone to Hana and watched her walk off a couple feet while mentally slapping yourself. Why did you say that Y/n? This isn’t your home. And of course he’s going to want to talk to Hana, not you! You felt yourself becoming slightly pink in the face out of embarrassment and tried to calm down. Hana was running back to you. 

“(Y/n)-saaaaan! Daddy wants to speak with you!” 

You took the phone and heard Kuroo’s voice. “Hi, again.” 

He laughed and you were so distracted by the sound you nearly forgot to respond. “Hi.” 

“How are you doing?” 

“Well, we’re doing pretty good. Hana has so much energy but she’s having fun and doing great.” 

“That’s good to hear. But (Y/n)-san, I already talked with Hana. I want to know how you’re doing.” 

“O-oh. I’m doing… good.” You stuttered, a bit surprised that he was asking about you personally. “I’ve been running around all day but Hana looks so happy, it’s worth being out of breath for a bit.” 

“I don’t think I can tell you enough how grateful I am that you’re so good to Hana.” 

“Of course. I love seeing her happy.” 

“I’m serious. She’s extremely shy so she usually has a hard time opening up to people and making friends but the two of you became close so easily. She talks about you all the time and always looks forward to you coming over. She’s even started opening up a little more because of you. You’ve had such a positive impact on her; I really can’t thank you enough for that.” 

Your heart swelled hearing the kind words, somehow falling even more in love with the little family. You knew you were being a big help by babysitting Hana, but you never expected to have such a big impact on her life. Thinking about it now, she also had a huge impact on your life. She taught you how to be more carefree and brings a lot of joy and laughter into your life. And Kuroo… Seeing him and how he treats Hana inspired you to be more caring and understanding towards other people. You were so lost in thought you nearly forgot Kuroo was on the other line again. 

“I’m so glad to hear… She’s had a really big impact on me too.” You cleared your throat, trying not to become sentimental at the moment. “Um, how-how is work?” 

Kuroo sighed. “It’s alright… Work is work. I’d rather be at the park with you two. But I am coming home early today so I’ll be there soon.” 

“Oh, good! Okay, we’ll see you soon then.” 

You hung up and felt giddy. You couldn’t help feeling just a bit special that he was interested in how you were doing. He actually cared how you were doing outside of babysitting. Maybe you have noticed your conversations were longer, he looked you in the eyes longer than usual, he seemed to always stall when he was leaving for work and when you were leaving the house, how you noticed him staring at you interact with Hana out of the corner of your eye, the creamer, the food he leaves out for you, the frequent phone calls… maybe something was there… You were pulled out of your thoughts when Hana came bounding over. 

“(Y/n)-san!! I’m hungry now!” 

“You’re hungry?” You asked, watching Hana nod her head enthusiastically. “Perfect. Your dad is coming home now. How about we make him some lunch?” 

Hana eyes lit up. She loved cooking with you and could hardly contain her excitement as she practically skipped all the way back to the house and spewing out at all the different lunch ideas she had in mind. 

-- 

The front door creaked open and the two of you heard the jangling of keys and shuffle of shoes being taken off. It was perfect timing. The macaroni and cheese had just finished and you were just plating Hana’s bowl. 

“Hi, ladies.” Kuroo greeted with a soft smile. 

“Daddy!” Hana beamed and Kuroo walked over to her and planted a kiss on her temples. 

“What’s going on here?” 

“We made you lunch!” 

“Really?” Kuroo leaned down to look at Hana bowl as she explained what they created. “We went to the store and bought some ingredients, so none of this was from the box! And since you like spinach a lot we put some in also and it looks really pretty.” 

“That looks really good, Hana. And you made that?” 

“Yes! I stirred the macaroni but (Y/n)-san did most of it!” 

Kuroo chuckled before turning to you as you placed down his own bowl of macaroni. You could feel him looking at you just a bit longer and felt your face warm up ever so slightly. You actually weren’t sure if you should pack up and go or stay to eat lunch. You didn’t want to intrude no matter how much you loved them. 

You loved them. There was no other way to put it and you finally accepted it. You never wanted them to leave your life and if you could hold on to being with them just a bit longer every day then you were going to take it. 

“(Y/n)-san! Sit next to me!” Hana said, bouncing in her chair as she waited for you to plate your own bowl. 

“But what if I wanted (Y/n)-san to sit next to me?” Kuroo teased and you had to take a few seconds longer to get to the table to calm down the blush that spread across your face. 

“Well, I asked first! So she has to sit with me!” 

You sat down next to Hana and smiled at their playful banter before the three of you began eating. Kuroo listened as Hana told him about all the activities the two of you got up to this morning and how much fun making the macaroni was. Kuroo gave her all of his attention save for the little glances he gave you whenever Hana said something she was especially excited for, a soft smirk on his face each time and every time you felt like you could combust on the spot. Kuroo offered to do the dishes when you finished while you and Hana cleaned up the table. It felt very domestic and you could feel yourself becoming even more attached. 

“Alright. I guess I should be going now.” You said when the kitchen was clean.  

“No! Not yet.” Hana pleaded. “I don’t want you to leave yet!” 

“Hana, I know you love it when (Y/n)-san comes over but what if she has plans?” Kuroo asked, placing his hands on his hips and you could hardly stop yourself from staring at his arms in his rolled up dress shirt. 

“Well… Well, maybe she can come back after!” Hana asked, taking hold of your hand and hugging it to her neck in an effort to keep you from leaving. You were a little shocked. You knew Hana always became pouty whenever you left for the day but she’s never been this adamant about you staying. You could feel your heart break the more she tried to bargain with Kuroo. “Please, (Y/n)-san?” 

“I don’t-” 

“Hana…” Kuroo said in a quiet tone. 

“But Daddy! I don’t want (Y/n)-san to leave! She’s so nice to me and takes care of me and I love her. I want her to stay here with us because Mommy didn’t.” 

“Hana.” Kuroo said again. You were speechless. You didn’t know what to do. You never really knew about the mom but hearing Hana say what she said gave you an idea and you wanted to stay even more. You wanted to give her the love that her mother apparently never gave her. 

“I don’t think (Y/n)-san can or wants to stay here...” Kuroo’s quiet voice brought you back to reality. He was right. You were just a babysitter and nothing more. 

“But why not? You want her to stay with us too!” 

It was Kuroo’s turn to be speechless. But Hana continued. 

“You always talk about (Y/n)-san! And you always try to keep her home for a little longer. And you always say that she’s good at taking care of me and that she’d be a good mom and that you love her!” 

Kuroo was a bright shade of red at this point. He tried to quiet Hana down. “And you always say you’re going to ask (Y/n)-san out but you never do!” 

You could tell Kuroo was starting to feel embarrassed now. It was probably a lot for the little girl to unload her feelings of her mother, her feelings for you, and Kuroo’s apparent feelings for you as well. But even then, you felt a little more at ease now. You loved them. And now you’re seeing that they love you back. Maybe it wouldn’t be as complicated as it seemed. Maybe you didn’t have to hold on to the few hours each day that you saw them. You smiled. 

“How about…” You started, both of them looked at you. “I stay for a little longer? And we can make that pie that you wanted to make... And your father and I can talk a little more about how much we love each other? Sounds good?” 

Hana’s face broke out into the biggest smile and she ran back towards the kitchen cheering about how you were going to spend the rest of the day with them. Kuroo watched her run by before looking back at you and you can just tell he couldn’t grab hold of his emotions. You approached him. 

“I’m sorry. I basically invited myself over without asking you…” You apologized, a little sheepish that you made the final decision. But then you looked up at him. “But… is it true? Hana’s been mentioning little things that made me believe it. I don’t want it to be wishful thinking…” 

“(Y/n)-san…” Kuroo started, pulling you into a hug. “Hana’s not the only one who wants you to stay with us.” 

[starwarsnonsense]

Why the ending of ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ hurts you so damn much right now

In a post from a few days ago, I wrote about how a big part of why Ben Solo’s death is causing intense grief and sadness is the success of the film’s depiction of the Reylo dynamic and Ben’s progression from selfish to selfless love. But there’s more to the ending of the film than Ben’s death, and I would say the scenes that follow and how they are framed carry the bulk of the responsibility for the emotional devastation people are experiencing right now.

Ultimately, what The Rise of Skywalker lacks in its ending is a sense of catharsis - since we see no meaningful emotional resolution for Rey, the viewer is robbed of any real sense of peace or closure. We witness Rey’s stunned shock in the moment that Ben slips away from her, but the emphasis is then immediately shifted to Leia (we are to understand that she only allows herself to fade when her son passes on, with mother and child leaving the world together). 

It’s possible to understand the reasoning behind this (by having Leia’s spirit hold on for so long, suggesting she desperately wanted to be there to guide him into the afterlife, they are clearly attempting to sell the viewer on the extent of her devotion to her child), but it doesn’t work due to the sad reality that the sequel trilogy simply never built up the relationship between Leia and Ben. It’s well known that the original vision for Episode IX was that it would be Leia’s movie, presumably giving her a critical role in her son’s redemption, and it’s clear that J.J. attempted to honour this intention with The Rise of Skywalker despite having very limited footage to work with. In a world where Carrie Fisher were still with us and able to act face-to-face with Adam Driver, convincing us of Leia’s abiding love for her only child and her renewed investment in his redemption (a necessary development, given her despondency regarding Ben in The Last Jedi), the juxtaposition of her ‘passing on’ with Ben’s would have had a much greater emotional impact. 

But as it stands, Ben Solo’s last meaningful human connection, as established over three films, is with Rey - and we never really get to see her mourn for him. This not only makes Ben’s fate sting that much more - it also shortchanges Rey herself. Ben’s joy and relief during as he held Rey in his arms were matched only by her jubilation at finally finding herself able to squeeze the hand of Ben Solo, the man she had loved and seen even when he was at his darkest as Kylo Ren. While Ben at least got to die knowing he had saved the life of the woman he loved, secure in the knowledge that she loved him as he loved her, Rey is left bewildered and alone in the crumbled ruins of her grandfather’s sin. She has nothing left to hold on to other than her almost-lover’s clothes.

When Rey returns to the Resistance base amidst the celebrations, we see her looking utterly grief-stricken as she embraces Finn and Poe. But the shots are fleeting and ambiguous, open to the viewer’s projections due to the chronic indecision that cripples the whole film - who are Finn and Poe crying for? Leia, who they had previously mourned? Snap, who only Poe had any sort of tangible relationship with? And what about Rey? Is she crying for Leia? Ben? Her own parents, now she knows they actually cared for her? All of the aforementioned? This sort of ambiguity is great when we can expect a continuation, an answer, but this is meant to be an ending. In view of that, it’s a serious problem that we don’t even know who our leads are expressing sadness for. 

This issue is only compounded by the final sequence on Tatooine. Rey travels there with BB-8 alone, undercutting the sense that she has found her family and belonging with the Resistance - she chooses to travel alone with a droid, which is a particularly striking decision when it’s remembered that Rey is shown repeatedly identifying with the suffering of droids throughout the film (specifically, she recognises how D-0 is skittish because he has been treated badly by a past owner). The decisions made surrounding Rey on Tatooine recall how she was in the earliest sequences of The Force Awakens, sledding down slops and trekking the desert with BB-8 - it really feels like she has regressed, becoming a child again instead of achieving maturity. This impression is heightened by the characters she is shown to interact with across the sequence - specifically an extremely rude old woman, who demands her name, and the benevolent Force ghosts of Luke and Leia, who gaze upon her contentedly from a distance. 

All of this creates dissonance when viewed in relation to the culmination of Rey’s dynamic with Ben, since we are seeing a young woman who has had her first great love and counterpart in the Force snatched away from her having that massive loss completely erased. Instead of giving her space to grieve and recover, Rey’s final scene is used to serve the legacies of the heroes of a previous generation. When she assumes the Skywalker name, she is also assuming responsibility for the Skywalker legacy. The Skywalker legacy is also Ben’s legacy, but the film has no apparent interest in reminding the viewer of that - there is no allusion to Ben, let alone an appearance by his Force ghost. It’s a bizarre and baffling decision because it’s essentially J.J. Abrams undermining the mythic power of his own characters. Their victories and losses are brushed into the margins of the film, sacrificed at the altar of phoney nostalgia.

I wish J.J. had made different decisions and quite simply made a different film, but he did not. However, I am optimistic. I am already seeing fans, particularly female fans, recognise the omissions and gaps in the narrative, taking steps to fill them with their writing, art and discussion. Transformative fandom has rarely been more critical than it is right now, and I’m grateful to everyone that is, to mangle a quote from J.J. Abrams’ own movie, beginning to make things right again.

[their-name-is-morgan]

Ok b so like, I'm gonna try to make this sort of specific, I live for some angst and I live for Abba so like.... Imagine Abba being in one of those days where he just feels like garbage , but then his nice softie s/o visits him and cheers him up and gives him luv bc uwuwuwu. im so awkward at writing this, anyways, it's a scenario if thats ok with u b, and the s/o is a female.

AAAAH B I tried my best to make this turn out decent!! I feel like Leo is extremely OOC and there might be some mistakes here and there, but it’s late and I’m tired...so I’ll fix this in the morning! ;;

I hope you enjoy it anyway, ilysm❤

Il loro segreto

Leone Abbacchio x Fem!Reader❤

Everyone has bad days, and everyone faces them in a different way. There are people like Bruno: he would try his best to help other people overcome their struggles, and seeing their smiling face would make him feel better in an instant. There are people like Fugo: he would allow himself to have a day off, and he’d spend that day doing his favourite things, talking to his favourite people, or even staying alone. And then there are people like Abbacchio.

Leone was a man of few words, he would talk when necessary, and he wasn’t the nicest member of the gang. His face appeared to be in an eternal scowl, with his dark, thin eyebrows furrowed and his lips rarely lifting upwards. One would think that he was a strong, confident man whose only emotions were anger and disgust, but there’s always more to a person than what they let the others see.

Abbacchio was like any other person: some of his days were happy, other ones boring, and other ones bad, upsetting days. On the latter he would isolate himself and even refuse to get out of his bed, too mentally exhausted to interact with other people. He would push them away, and then he’d feel guilty about it. His lips would quiver and his eyes would water, but he’d hold it in.

And that day was one of those days.

(Name) exhaled, her eyes fixed on the last message he had sent: “See you at 9” with a black heart at the end. ‘Edgy’ she thought with a chuckle, but the small smile on her face disappeared as soon as it came. They had agreed on meeting quite early in the morning and, when she noticed that it was pouring outside but his last access remained the same as the previous night’s, she had guessed that the rain wouldn’t have been a problem for him either.

But after an hour of waiting for his arrival in front of the smallest, saddest bookstore in town, she came to a sudden realization: what if something was wrong?

Was he okay? Was the rest of the gang okay? Was her phone being dumb and not showing her his true last messages? She needed to know. She was about to stand up and open her umbrella when she noticed a notification from a different chat: Bruno had just texted her.

‘Would you mind coming over? I know this is sudden, but there’s somebody here who needs you.’ The text read, and her expression twisted into one of concern. It wasn’t the first time that she received a text like that, from either the Capo –whom she considered one of her closest friends- or another one of the guys, and it was not a pleasant thing to read.

She didn’t even bother to reply, instead she started walking towards the Passione residence, which was not that far away from that spot. The rain didn’t stop, making her almost trip at least twice along the way, but she was determined to see her lover’s face and hold him as close as possible.

It didn’t take that long before three knocks on the door snapped Bruno out of his trance; he stood up and made his way to the front door, abandoning the crossword puzzled he had been trying to complete for the past forty minutes on the wooden table.

He slowly opened the door to reveal his friend, umbrella in her right hand and phone in the other, her eyebrows slightly furrowed but a polite smile still present on her face. He motioned to come in and guided her to the couch, where they both sat down;

“So, what happened?” she asked, fidgeting with her hands. He let out a sigh,

“I...will keep it short. You know how Leone can get and now I know he needs extra support that I can’t give him. But please remember, cara; if this is too much for you, if he somehow hurts you with his words or actions...” he paused, cautiously choosing what to say next, “It’s not worth it. He is my friend, but you are too and I wouldn’t want you to think that I agree with everything he says or does.”

She carefully listened, her expression concentrated. She warmly smiled as he finished talking and took his larger hands in hers, grateful for having such a caring and honest friend.

“Bruno, I will follow your advice if anything happens. But I’m pretty sure it won’t,” she reassured him, and he nodded and returned the smile, “Now, he hasn’t left his room has he?”

“He’s been in there since yesterday night. He’d making all of us very worried, (Name).” He confessed, his tone of voice sincere. The girl could only nod and direct her gaze on the flight of stairs leading up to the second floor, where the bedrooms were located.

 Unmade bed, window shut, blankets and dirty clothes lazily piled up in a corner of the barely lit room. The smell not bad enough to be unbearable, but enough to make one’s nose wrinkle. The pitter patter of the rain soothed him, but unnerved him at the same time. Was it even possible to feel in such a way?

He sat there, intently staring at the blank, boring wall as if it was the most interesting thing. What else could he have done in his state after all? With his headphones too far away to reach and the overwhelming fatigue that didn’t seem willing to leave him anytime soon, he could only lose heart and sit there, with his back against the bed’s headboard.

His almost lifeless gaze fell upon his phone, which had been resting on his nightstand since the previous night. A feeling of guilt struck him at the thought that he hadn’t shown up for his and (Name)’s date, his chest tightening and a lump forming in his throat. No, he couldn’t cry. What was the point of crying anyway? His eyes alarmingly watered, salty tears threatening to roll down his pale cheeks; he tried to focus on breathing, when a soft, almost inaudible knock made his grip on the thin blanket covering his legs tighten and his eyebrows furrow.

No. He thought, his heart beating faster. Fuck, leave.

Silence. But then, another knock, this time a little bit louder. Who was it, and what did they want? He had harshly declined Bruno’s help earlier that morning, and made it clear that he didn’t want any of the other guys around. Watching Bruno retrieve his hand at his commanding voice made him regret his actions, but then again. What was he expecting from himself?

With his gaze fixed on the door, he flinched when he heard the voice of the person behind it.

“Leo?”

I don’t deserve you. He thought once again, his eyes burning. He suddenly became aware of the state he was in, with his normally silky hair now messy and tangled, tied in a low ponytail, no sign of makeup on his ghost white face, and his embarrassing attire composed by an old, short sleeved shirt –obviously too large for him- and a pair of grey night shorts, his legs exposed and, much to his regret, hairy.

“Leone, I just want to know if you’re okay-“

“I am, now leave.” Please, he wanted to add, before I say something I’ll regret.

He could feel her sighing, trying to come up with something to tell him that could’ve comforted him. But what exactly could’ve possibly made him happier? He had tried to think of something, to do something, but it only ended up hurting him more, making him lay back down, exhausted and ashamed of himself. Just the thought of it made him stomach turn, the thought of his beloved waiting for him under the pouring rain whilst he was laying in bed, frustrated... melancholic.

“Please tell me if there’s something I can do to make you feel better. I know you’re lying, but it’s okay,” a pause. Then shuffling, and the doorknob moved a little, “Can I come in, Tesoro?” she asked. Little did she know that the man was trying his hardest not to break down there, in that exact moment. Or did she? She’d never seen him or talked to him while he was in such a state, usually he would be angry and frustrated, drinking his pain away in the kitchen in the middle of the night, or even in a bar.

Silence means consent, she thought –as much as that sentence could’ve been wrong-, and she dared to open the door, moderately illuminating the chaotic room. He froze, not really sure what to do, if to yell at them or to gather all his strength to stand up and lock the door completely. But he simply stayed still, his chest rising and falling with every shaky breath he took.

“What are you doing here,” he asked, his words ended up sounding more like a statement, though. She slowly stepped inside, her gaze falling upon her handsome boyfriend’s body, partially covered by a thin, cream coloured blanket.

“I’m here to listen to you, what’s going on Leone?” she asked, slowly stepping closer to his bed. He eyed her for a moment, his eyes softening. He wanted to be mad and make her leave, he really did, she wasn’t supposed to see him like this and he deserved to suffer alone. He deserved to listen to all the horrible thoughts that his mind was full of, obsess over them.

He gasped at the light touch of her hand, which was now softly holding his, his long, bony fingers subconsciously intertwining with hers. That simple touch sent a wave of butterflies through his veins, making him shake and choke back a sob.

(Name) promptly took notice of this and sat down beside him, her eyes kind and a warm, welcoming smile on her face.

“You can cry, it’s okay to. Please look at me,” and he did, with tears finally spilling down his face, his cheeks flushed and the muscles of his chin trembling, making his lips quiver. His right hand clutched at hers as if his life depended on it, while his left was clenched in a fist, the knuckles slowly going white. (Name) worriedly moved closer to him, letting her free hand wander behind his head to untie his hair and run her fingers through it.

Tell me everything.

“I am... I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t deserve you-“ a stifled sob, and then he sharply inhaled, “You were waiting for me, but I was here. Being a useless dick even if they wanted to help. I just...” he suddenly stopped, allowing smaller sobs to escape from his parted, soft lips. The girl moved her hand from his hair to his back, pulling him closer so that his head could rest on her shoulder.

Slightly embarrassed by this position as she was the one usually laying her head on his shoulder, he tried to pull away, but her soothing touch and whispers sent a shiver up his spine and made him hold onto her for dear life, weeping and babbling about how he didn’t deserve her, about how he would miss her though if she left, and she thought she heard him say I’m sorry once or twice –and he’d rarely apologize-.

(Name) held him tight, noticing how quiet he was even while shaking and sobbing almost uncontrollably, wetting her cute, slightly elegant shirt. Not that she cared anyway, he was much more important than a stupid shirt.  

“Leo,” she whispered at some point, making him blink, more tears rolling down his reddened cheeks, “You deserve so much and you don’t even realize it. I know you blame yourself for a lot of things...” he raised his head, his hair gracefully cascading down his back; their eyes met and (Name) gave him a small smile, which he returned, “But not everything’s your fault.”

He averted his gaze, his breath slowly calming and his shoulders relaxing.

“Hm. Just promise... this whole thing will stay between us,”

She chuckled, and shifted in a more comfortable position so that they could be even closer.

“Of course; now will you eat breakfast with me?”

[thewaitinggamesblog]

Lets talk about 365DNI

So, I will preface by saying this a rant and a semi review, mostly a rant.

Also if you haven't watched it !SPOILERS!

Also, if you’re under the age of 18, or are uncomfortable with taking about sexual things, this is your opportunity to bump off, and don’t watch the movie. 

Also an extra warning because i'll be talking about lack of consent in this movie and yeah!

This is my warning.

 So, Let’s Talk about the main characters. We have Laura Biel, who is the movies protagonist. She is a victim of kidnapping and the “source” of Massimo Torricelli’s, the love interest and movies antagonist, affection. Laura, at the beginning of the movie, is made to seem like she has a loveless relationship and a job she absolutely hates, and in my opinion, sets up the frame that getting kidnapped by handsome mob man is a blessing, which some might argue in her case it was.Laura is immediately put in a terrible situation, she is uprooted from her friends, and taken to a place where 1)she knows absolutely no one and has to fend for herself and 2) she’s manipulated, from before she even gets kidnapped to time she “surrenders”. She’s fed this idea that she could leave the life she has behind to be on trial basis with a man who she doesn’t know, so that he can live out his fantasy of being in a relationship with her, which she does not fall for. 

The movie spends so much time trying to put Laura in a box and make her conform to these rules and lifestyle that she didn’t agree to. Often times, when she is trying to liberate herself from these rules, and shit hits the fan, she is blamed for “acting out.” Thats victim blaming, and Its not her fault, she’s been kidnapped and thrown into situations that she didn’t ask for. And while yes, it's made clear in the movie that there are worse people who could have kidnapped her, it's still not an ideal situation for her. 

Despite all of the turmoil she’s put through, ill say that Laura is not a weak character, She’s not silent, she stands up to Massimo to the best of her ability, but he controls all the pieces on the board, and she has no control over anything in her life other than ability to say no to him and that doesn’t even necessarily work sometimes. 

An example of Massimo's extreme power control: At one point in the movie she attempts to run away from Massimo but she cant even get out of the city that they’re in because Massimo and his family have the city on their payroll, and everyone is so scared of him,  running away for her becomes futile, because it will never work. She has to become complacent to survive. 

Massimo Torricelli is our main antagonist and a major asshole, and not an asshole with a soft heart for Laura, he’s just a pure asshole. Its a common theme throughout the movie. The movie makes attempts to soften Massimo’s personality by trying to make him this guy with good morals, but despite having good morals and a traumatic backstory, you cant avoid the facts the he 1) drugged and kidnapped her and 2) he treated her poorly, up until she finally gave into him.

Now if you’ve seen the movie you may or may not agree with my any statements that I have said and thats fine, but we cant avoid the fact that Massimo is a smart person, he understands how to play the long game in this situation. By allowing her to have access to the things that she asked for (only after she begged for them) he is manipulating and finding ways to gain her trust. He’s not dumb he knows what he’s doing. Its like I said earlier, he controls all the pieces on the board, he knows what to do in order to win the game and he, in my opinion, would hold out for as long as it took to make her fall in “love” with him. 

Lets talk about the plot. Laura is kidnapped on her birthday while she’s on vacation with her boyfriend and friends, by Mafia Boss Massimo, who has had an obsession with her for over five years and has on a whim, after one coincidental citing, devised a plan to make her and make her fall in love with him. The plan is is that he is giving her 365 days to fall for him and if she hasn’t fell for him by her next birthday, then he will let her go. Thats the plot. 

Now you might ask, why am i I reiterating this again and again and again? Why are we talking about this? Why is this important?Well, the definition of Stockholm Syndrome as defined by Merriam Webster is: the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor.

I have a very hard time believing as an audience member that Laura,  without this certain set circumstances, would fall in love with Massimo, mostly because, he’s an asshole. Not because of his profession. Massimo in addition to being an asshole also disregards and disrespects Laura’s boundaries and often engages in sexual acts with her without her consent. 

I as an audience member also have a hard time in believing that Massimo actually loves Laura. Throughout the movie its clear and stated the Massimo is a man who gets what he wants, he doesn’t chase after anything or anyone, Laura being the five year infatuation has peaked his interest, and the idea of finding her and being with her has floated around in his head for too long. I as an audience member, question would he still have interest in her if she caved in and gave into him from the very start. This would turn out to be a completely different movie.

 This whole movie, is forwarded by the chase of her resisting him and he having to “compromise” his sense of self and security to be with her. (FYI:it's not a true compromise if one person still controls most of the pieces on the board by the end of the movie.) Yes, Laura turned his life upside down in some ways, but he also knew the potential risk he took when decided to go forward with his plan. 

In my opinion, I think Massimo might care for her, but it's in a way that a child cares for a toy, or someone might care for a gun, a very much, you cant touch that, thats my property attitude. One of the biggest examples of this is Massimo’s  “Babygirl.” This was a pet-name picked for Laura by Massimo before he even got to know her as a person. Every instance we see him interacting with her “Are you lost Babygirl?” is an example of him claiming some kind of ownership over her, prelude to what he can and eventually does, take her to be his own. 

In the movie, Massimo, in my opinion, makes little to no attempts to get to know her as a person, they have no genuine interaction other than one scene that isn’t overtly sexual. Everything else in the movie relies on unhealthy sexual chemistry created to tell you that Massimo's plan is “working.” 

Up until the time she give into him there are so many nonconsensual acts of sex, as an audience member, it was concerning. Often these acts would come after he said he was not going to push her boundaries. (FYI: cuffing someone to a bed and making them watch another woman give you a blowjob, without consent  is crossing a boundary) and that’s all I’m gonna say about that.

 So, let's briefly talk about Laura’s situation. She is trapped, and she has no one to trust. Massimo's men are loyal to him and not her. She cant tell them anything for fear of one of them telling Massimo, everything that she thinks, and feels she has to keep hidden, because its not safe for her, therefore she has to make nice with her captor or else, prompting some of the compromises on Lauras part in the movie. This is why I say their relationship is not a true compromise, Laura ends up compromising so much of herself by the end of the movie and Massimo in my opinion continues to live the same life that he’s used to living. point blank. 

Lets talk about the turning point in the movie. AKA, when Laura first accepts Massimo. The acceptance happens when Massimo saves her from drowning after she goes overboard on his boat when they were arguing. Now how did we get to this point? For me, its understanding how the odds were stacked up immeasurably against her throughout the movie.

Here’s a few that stuck out to me:

1) Laura still had a considerable amount of time to be left in Massimo’s presence, I believe in the movie she had only been with him for two months. 

 2) Massimo killed a member of another mafia family, making everyones lives more complicated, and she finally comes to the realization that despite her rebellion, Massimo isn’t letting go of her anytime soon.

3) Massimo's right hand man/ Uncle was telling Massimo to cut his losses with Laura, so where does that leave her? Now that she’s been involved with all of this (against her will), will she still be a target? 

4) Laura becomes a target to hurt Massimo, literally just by being with him as later shown by Massimo's jealous ex Anna, Laura will need his protection, whether she wants or not. 

5) Laura was blamed, by Massimo and others,  for the repercussions of what had happened the night before, which is why they were arguing, she cant defend herself when everyone is pointing the finger at her.

6) Massimo made himself the “Savior” by both risking and saving her life twice in less than 24 hours. 

 You might ask how did he risk her life the first time? Well, he took her to a club with questionable people and asked her to behave by rules that she did not agree to and when she was in trouble, because she has absolutely no idea who she’s dealing with,  he comes in and saves her from said questionable people that she did not want to be around in the first place. 

When Massimo saves her the second time, the movie, in my opinion, makes it out for Laura to be grateful that she is alive. Massimo could have just let her drown but he didn't, he was a good human being in that instant, and I guess that plus everything else she’s been through makes accepting him easier, because he saved her life, he must really love her right?right?  This my attempt at rationalizing and digesting what had happened leading up to her affections for him. To me,  she goes from absolutely hating him to showing him affection overnight, and there was no romantic build up of tension that would have prompted her to have sex with him. From my perspective, the tension went away when she went overboard on the boat. 

Finally, when she consents to him they have lots of sex. Like lots and thats a prelude to her getting pregnant. (you know how I knew instantly that she was getting pregnant, because not a single thought of a rubber or birth control was given throughout the entire script.) be safe. use protection people! 

Anyways, towards the end of the movie, Massimo sends her off to Poland, to be safe, while he does some really sketchy mafia things to whom we can assume is either his ex, who threatened to Kill Laura or the mafia family he has drama with now. She’s supposed to wait in Poland for him to finish whatever sketchy thing he’s doing, and yes, we know its sketchy because before her flight, Laura’s henchman that has been with her for the whole movie has to leave and strictly instructs her to wait in Poland, and thats what she does. Massimo sets her up with an apartment and expenses and she’s supposed to wait for him to i guess meet up with her. While in Poland, Laura visits her friend, Olga, who we can only assume she has had no contact with over the past couple of weeks. 

What makes this movie so unrealistic, in my opinion,  is the lack of realistic reactions to situations which should be taken more seriously. Lauras friend is pissed for all of five seconds, and she’s confused when Laura tells her what really happened to her, and her solution to all of it was lets go out and and get make overs and go clubbing and get your mind off of everything, which yes, is helpful to some, but also….. If I showed up randomly on my friends doorstep with the same tea Laura had to spill, my friends would do alot more than go out for makeovers and go clubbing, they’d probably call the cops, or my parents, or both, regardless of Massimo’s influence.

So, they end up going out and she runs into her ex at the club, which is already questionable as to how he even knew she was there? Like did the best friend call him? Anyways he’s determined to plead his case to her and literally follows her all night long even all the way to her apartment where Massimo is waiting for her to get home. Once her ex sees Massimo, he stands down, and skip to the next important part because it’s all just sex. 

So Laura tells Massimo that she loves him and the next morning he asks her to marry him. Which prompts me to ask what would he have done if she said no?? Like honestly, would he have just let her say no or would he force her to say yes?

So……there’s a fashion montage to show that they’re like happy and in love and then they’re at a wedding with her family, who I think is her cousin and Massimo meets her family and he parents are just chill with the fact that after being gone for months that she all of a sudden has a new man in her life.....I’m just going to assume that she’s been in constant contact with her parents because some of that doesn’t make sense to me. I know that she called her mother when Massimo gave her her phone back, but thats the only time in the movie that I can remember her contacting her family. 

So finally, let’s talk about the ending, and im not going to spoil it because, i don’t want to. So, the ending was the ending and that’s all I’m going to say about that. Im not going to spoil the ending because if you end up watching the film or take any context clues from what I've written, you will know that they don’t end up getting married! (oops… never said why they didn’t). I will say, the ending felt very rushed. It was all happening very fast. I believe from time that he proposed to her till the ending of the movie, they packed in weeks worth of story telling in fifteen to twenty minutes, and there were plenty of gaps, that I feel like, if they were filled, they would have made the ending of the movie make more sense.

So, on a lighter not, I want to talk about a very brief similarity in another movie that could technically be considered of the same plot. That movie is Beauty and the Beast. When I was watching this movie, Beauty and the Beast, was always in the back of my head, when i finished watching 365DNI, I compared the two movies.  The stories are similar in the generalized sense,  both men are beast who rely on women to humanize them, but are doing it under personalized circumstances in a certain amount of time. Just like the Beast, Massimo had a deadline he had to meet, Also Belle was a prisoner, her entire experience at the castle and in the Beast company was to make her fall in love with him. 

In conclusion, Id give this movie a solid 5/10, because even though I don’t agree with the basis of the story, its fiction, and in my opinion, its okay to enjoy fantasized fiction, just as long as you’re not taking your fantasy out into the real world. I know its just a movie and I probably shouldn’t have gone this hard on it, but I just had thoughts. (These are my own thoughts and opinions on the movie, I'm not a professional critic, by any means,  I just wanted to talk about it. If you have opinions on the movie, or if you’ve got any advice on how to write a personal review, let's talk! cause I definitely want to do more of these!)

-justbeinghonest

[shanlulu-writing]

Levi X reader  - I am all yours - Part 1

Please be aware there is swearing from the outset and suggestive themes. I hope you like, this is only the second fanfic I have put up on here, so please bare with me. Please let me know what you think, Im happy for critique and anything that will help the story and my writing. If you like give me a fav or a comment. I do love hearing back from you! Part 1 It was cold, for some reason, it was always cold here, even when the sun was shining. Maybe it was just you, maybe you felt the cold more than anyone else, still, it would feel good to feel warm once in a while. You sigh, feeling like you had been here forever, but that wasn't reality, in fact, you had only been here a matter of months. You had only been with the survey corps with the new influx of trainees, not like you really wanted to be here. Mostly everyone paid no attention to you, let alone be nice, but that was how you liked it. You shiver and break away from your thoughts. It was your turn to muck out and groom the horses, a job that you particularly hated. As much as it was nice to ride them, cleaning them was another matter. You continue to groom one of the horses, you believed it to be Captain Ackerman's. Well, that was someone, up his own ass, good in a fight but hell was he a stuck up prick. He had already shown you how much he disliked you. From day one he was full of venom towards you. You knew that he was like with that with everyone, but it seemed like it was particularly vicious in your direction. A couple of the others had mentioned it, in fact, that was how the few people who did talk to you, introduced themselves. Your only collective conclusion was that he didn't like your face. Well, you didn't like his either, even if it was very defined and had the illusion that his skin was the perfection of porcelain. Mr bloody perfect. “You, (last name).” You look up. “Please tell me why a brat like you is touching my horse?” You move away from the horse catching the Captain's icy glare. From up close he was actually pretty short for a guy. You snigger internally. “Answer me!” He moves a few steps closer, arms folded and looks at you as if you are the muck you have been shovelling. “I was asked to clean the horses. That's what I am doing” You answer frostily. “...Sir” You frown, not knowing what he meant. “You address me as Sir, idiot.” You notice that even though his words are infuriated, his face remains deadpan, almost unaffected by the conversation. “Sir.”  You didn't want to respond, but then you didn't want the aggro either. You should have learnt from the last time you spoke back to him and had to sleep in the shed for two nights with only one blanket. You knew full well that he was always prepared to punish your back chat, but he riled you up so much, you couldn't help but lash back out at him. You sigh again. “So do you want me to groom your horse or not..... Sir?” You questioned him, voice dripping with sarcasm . As soon as the words left your mouth, he was next to you and grabbed your chin roughly. “Answer me like that again brat, and you will fucking live to regret it.” You stagger backwards escaping from his grasp, his voice was like acid, and you truly believed that he would do as he said. You relented your attitude, and bow your head with a nod. “Tsk.” He turned on his heel and walked out of the stables. You breathe a sigh of relief and get back to work. You hear another set of footsteps approach you, you groan as you think that it is the Captain coming back to have another rant at you. “I'm NOT interested!” You thought to pre-empt him. “Huh?” That voice wasn't the Captains. You move out from behind the horse to see another cadet. “Hey (first name), what was up with Levi? What did you do now? He looked super pissed when he walked out of here.” It was Eren, he seemed nice, apparently, he could shift into a titan. Well, he looked normal enough, you couldn't tell he was hiding a monster inside of him. He had been one of the only ones that made the effort to talk to you, and for that, you were somewhat grateful. “Oh hi, Eren. He was just bitching something or other about me touching his horse. No biggy.” Eren looked shocked. You smile at him warmly. “What? He as a major stick up his ass, he needs bringing down a peg or two.” “You have a death wish” He laughs, you like it, his face is pretty cute when he smiles. “It was nice knowing you.” You cock your head to look at him. “He can't be that bad, I'm sure his bark is worse than his bite.” Eren raises his eyebrows at you but says nothing. It's like he knows something but won't tell you. “Anyway, we have training in a minute, Hanji asked me to come and get you.” You had forgotten about that after your altercation with Captain Ackerman. You set down your brushes and follow him out. “What is his problem?” You ask as you fasten your pace to catch up with him. Eren shrugs and doesn't offer you an answer. “Fine, whatever.” You weren't going to waste any more breath on him today. Funnily enough, you were quite happy that the training grounds meant you wouldn't have to see him again today. You walked out onto the training field and saw everyone else already set up ready to go. “Jaeger! (Last name)! You are Late!” Hanji yells from the other side of the field. You scurry to where your teammates were standing, and stood in line. She watched you as you fell in place and continued. “Today, we are going to be doing some mixed combat training. Also, I thought that it might be instrumental in your learning to get a few tips from the seasoned members of the Corps” You follow your friend's eyes to the group standing not far from you. Whispers start all around you, about them being the members of the special ops team, when from the corner of your eye you see Captain Ackerman. You roll your eyes and groan, why couldn't luck just be on your side for once?! You look at the other members who seem quite annoyed at being there, obviously, Hanji had wrangled them into doing it when you see that Captain Ackerman glaring straight at you. You double take. Why is he still staring at you? That's quite a glare he's got going on there. For fuck sake... What could you have done now? You look away to try and pay attention to Hanji giving instructions as to what was to happen next, but you could still feel the frosty gaze, sending shivers up your neck. You rub it instinctively and feel very uncomfortable. “What's the matter?” Eren leant in sideways whispering. “He keeps looking at me!” You mutter under your breath. “What song did you want to be played at your funeral, again? I don't know what you said to him, but you are in serious crap.” You hear him laugh quietly. “What are you two talking about?” Jean and Sasha bundle up behind you. You groan, as you really didn't want the whole squad knowing. Not that it was really something to be embarrassed about, but he was still looking at you and it was extremely unnerving. Eren explains to them and on queue, they both look over at him. “Don't look at him” You hiss. “Wow, did you give him attitude again?” Sasha asks mouth full of potato, you wonder how she has managed to get it. You can only guess that she has bribed one of the cooks again, it was the only explanation. “You're a glutton for punishment and an idiot. You know he doesn't like you, so why bait him all the time? Last time you pissed him off he had you scrubbing the floors in your nightclothes.” Jean adds. “Shut up. I didn't do anything that time either, all I did was have a play fight with Eren! Not my fault that his weakness is being tickled!” You retort in hushed tones and punch Jean in the arm. “(Last name) Are you listening?” Hanji shouts scolding you. You wince as you seem to be drawing more attention to yourself every minute. “Yes Ma'am” You listen to the last of her instructions and wait to get paired off. To your relief, you get paired up with Jean. From your interactions with him, you knew he was hot-headed and had a sharp tongue, not so unlike yourself. At least this meant you could blow off some steam, and forget about the pigmy abominable snow man's stare. “I'll go easy on you newbie,” Jean grunted at you. He didn't seem impressed to be paired up with a new recruit or the fact that you were by appearances, a weak girl. You scowl at him and take a deep breath. “This will be easy then. Don't flatter yourself, I'm not a precious sodding flower.” You spat in disgust. You were going to show him, you were a fighter, you always had been, and remarks like that were only going to make you more determined. He came at you, his main attacks were balanced in brute strength rather than speed. How apt. You move deftly around and away from his attacks, landing a fist on his back, in between his shoulder blades. Jean stops, and drops to one knee, he looked like he was getting his breath back. Standing back up to his full height, he readied himself again. The next attack landed on your shoulder, you yelp in pain and fall to the floor. You glare up at him as he offers a hand to you, you take it begrudgingly to stand up yourself. You shake the pain off and begin again. You fight for a good ten more minutes, and you manage to best him a fair few times when you are interrupted. “Kirstein. Your strength will win eventually, but that is if she doesn't wear you out before you can even hit a punch.” You both stop, and look to see that unimpressed face looking back at you. Did he have to interrupt? “Yes, Captain.” “Here. Let me show you a few tactics.”  Jean nods, he looks annoyed at the halt in fighting yet you notice a flicker of a smirk directed at you. You narrow your eyes at him in response, he can bugger off as well. Shit! You were going to have to fight the Captain. Jean moves out of the way, and Captain Ackerman stands in his place. You wonder whether his face was actually a mask, as you were sure that it was just made of stone. You feel nervous, you had heard about how good he was in battle, and you could only imagine that it translated well into hand to hand combat. You wished that the ground would swallow you up whole, yet in that moment you decide that you were not going to let him affect you. He was just some idiot who thought insulting people was a good idea, and he could get away with it because of his rank. People like that made you feel sick. You felt like you were close to hating him, he was just like all the others, who used their power to get what they wanted. “Brat, I hope you pay attention to what I am to teach you.” “I am all yours, Sir!” You glower at him. You hated his stupid perfect face, his stupid comments, and his stupid fucking attitude. You launch your attack, which he counters every single time, it just seems so easy for him, which he always follows with a smack on the back of your head. Pompous twat! He gives you the run around for what appears to be forever. You manage to hit him but none of them really manage to stop his attacks. You move again, feign a hit to the chest and spin around to kick him in the side. You manage to catch him off balance and quickly you go for the backs of his knees, causing him to fall to the ground. Seconds later with your knees pinning his kneeling legs, you hold your training knife to his throat. Breathing heavily, you feel triumphant. You managed to slay the beast, Hah! “Thank you for the lesson, Sir! I hope you learnt something.” You hear a quiet laugh escape from the man in front of you. Within a flash, he grabs your arm and pushes down on the inside of your elbow with three fingers and with the other hand, the bones in your thumb joint (pressure points). You scream, as it feels like he has broken your arm, you yank your arm back away from him and in that split second of pain, you are pushed to the ground. Legs straddled either side of your hips and his forearm pressing down on your neck, he leans in closer to you. You struggle to take in more air as the pressure of his body weight crushes down on your throat. You feel his breath on your neck, and amongst trying to breathe, you try desperately to get away from him, the fear becoming real that he may strangle you. “This is your first lesson, never let your guard down.” He utters under his breath. “Secondly, I will not have female cadets flaunting themselves with other male recruits. I've told you before and if I see it again I will have you reprimanded.” You could feel your consciousness slipping from you and make one last move for your freedom. With all your might you headbutt your captor, he rolls off you in pain and managing to get away from him, stagger back up, barely able to stand. “FUCK YOU!” Your voice was hoarse and strained. You realise that everyone else had stopped fighting and some of them had obviously been watching the fight for a while. You didn't need this shit. Taking one last look at the Captain on the floor, who was now sitting, with his hand on his head, you speed off. You manage to make it to the stables, and your legs fall out from underneath you. You clutch your throat, it feels like it is on fire, and just swallowing hurts. He actually planned to kill you, he actually meant to do it. Maybe Eren was right, maybe you should plan your funeral.  You realise that you are crying, you rub the tears out of your eyes, you weren't going to cry over this, not him. “(First name)!” You hear a call not far from you. You try to turn your neck, but hiss as the pain is so bad you think he must have broken something. Eren crouches down to look at you, his focus trailing from your teary (e/c) eyes to your throat and his eyes widen. “What the fuck did he do to you?” He grabs you and carries you gently with your head against his chest. “We are going straight to the infirmary. What the hell does he think that he is playing at?” It doesn't take you long to get there, usually, you wouldn't have gone, but you feel too weak to protest. The medics take a look at you, and they are surprised to hear what happened. You didn't want to say anything or make a fuss, but Eren was insistent on knowing everything. You see Eren getting angrier as they take a look at your neck. It's red raw and bruising is already starting to form, your voice was still croaky even after an excruciating drink of water. “You are saying Captain Ackerman did this?” The medic asks in a worried tone. You nod gingerly and bow your head. You had never felt so pathetic, you were here to fight the titans, but instead you were almost killed by someone in your own regiment. The medic grumbles and moves to place some ointment on your skin, you jerk back instinctively and shake your head furiously. “Its okay (first name). Here, let me do it. If it hurts you can punch my leg.” You think that its probably for the best, at least you wouldn't be accused of punching a medic, another thing Mr Captain Levi Asshole could punish you for.  He sits down on the bed next to you and holds one of your hands as he takes an ointment slicked finger to your skin. “Fuck... That hurts” You grunt in pain. “Squeeze my hand then.” He does it again, this time you clench his hand and realise how rough his skin is, and on closer inspection, there are minor scars all over his hands. His hands make you feel safe, his hands were much larger than yours with strong fingers, but they were extremely warm. You smile as you bask your hand in his warm one. He notices your expression change and stops. “Why are you smiling?” “Your hands are really warm.” You croak. He returns your smile as the medic comes in with a tray with a singular cup and saucer. “I've been told tea is good for a sore throat, and it might help your voice a little.” You nod and gesture a thank you, the medic makes their exit leaving you alone. Eren takes the cup off of the tray and passes it to you. Sadly this meant that his warm hands were no longer in your possession, however, it was replaced by steaming tea which was deliciously hot for your throat and your freezing cold hands. You take a sip and wince in pain, but endeavour to keep drinking and soon the pain subsides to just a tingle at the back of your throat. “Thank you, Eren.” You startle him as it had been quiet up until then. “I haven't done anything.” He shrugs. “You always seem to be there when I need you, and I just want to let you know I appreciate it.” He takes you aback when you see a flash of red on his cheeks. He looks away from you quickly. “Oh it's nothing really, that's what friends do!” He turns back to you, with a slightly darker look. “But if he touches you like that again, he's got another thing coming.” “Eren, please. Don't make a fuss, I can handle it, I'm not broken down that easy.” You try to say as convincingly as possible, but it couldn't be any further from the truth. After today he scared the shit out of you. ~ You had fitful sleep that night and woke up feeling exhausted. Eren had left not long after you finished your tea, and it was the first night in a very long while that you had slept in a room on your own. The silence was unsettling, and even when waking the silence seemed to hang over you like a shadow. You stretch your legs and pull yourself out of bed. You hold the bed for support, your legs were still weak. Strange considering that it was your throat that had been wounded, not your legs. You take a few paces, even at a shuffle it was good to get up and walk about. You hear noises from down the hall, cadets were laughing and shouting, they sounded like they were having so much fun, and you feel like you wished to be with them. There's a first time for everything. Usually, you distanced yourself from people, but Eren had shown you that you could make friends and maybe you might be able to make some real friends here. Your thoughts wander to the events of yesterday. What the hell was all that about? I've told you before and if I see you doing it again you will be reprimanded. Reprimanded for what? Talking to people? For having a laugh with Eren? Training with Jean? Grooming his horse? Even so, even if what you were doing was wrong, did it really warrant almost being strangled to death? “Ah, I see you're up” You look up to see Hanji walking in, sprightly as ever. She was carrying a clean set of clothes, which she set on your bed. “How are you feeling?” “Er... Okay, I guess. Alive if only just” You didn't mean to come off as brash, but you were still wound up. “We have orders from Erwin that you are to have a few days rest. The medics have advised so, due to the wound. Ah, he also wanted you to report to Captain Ackerman as soon as you can.” You gasp. They were sending you straight back into the lion's den. She smiles, seeming to completely miss your horror. “Nothing to worry about,  I am sure he just wants to apologise.” Apologise. Fucking Apologise? That's the least he could do! He will probably finish the job. This was bullshit, but orders were orders. You nod, knowing there was no way to get out of it.  She waves goodbye and runs off to find her team, leaving you alone again. You gave into getting changed, it was actually more difficult than you initially anticipate due to your neck still being extremely stiff and sore. Eventually, you manage and make the bed, as the medics weren't about you went over to their desk and grabbed a pen and paper to scrawl a thank you for their help. Slowly you make your way to your dorm to grab your scarf to hide the marks on your neck. You hope it will be quiet and the rest of the girls would already be out. As you open the door you hear your name called from all different directions, you look to see most of them had been waiting for you. You groan internally, wishing you had waited before coming back. They all rushed over, asking you loads of questions. Did it hurt? What did he do? What did you do to piss him off? How heavy was he? How did he smell? Did you pass out? Did he try and kill you on purpose? “Did he kiss you? Are you going out?” You heard from someone. How the hell did they get from trying to kill you to dating? Most of the girls needed their heads checked out. You may have been injured but at least you still had your head screwed on. You were about to reply when someone beat you to it. “Do you think that pestering her is going to get you a response?” The voice was cold. There was only one person that it could be. You muse whether you could make a break for it out the open window, yet with everyone crowded around you, you realise that it would be impossible. “I expect to see you in my office in two minutes” He commanded. When his back was turned you glare at him instinctively, hoping that his head might explode. You grab your (fav/c) scarf and wrap it around your neck. You make your move to go when you turn and speak to Mikasa. “Can you tell Eren: Erik Satie, Gymnopédie No.3” She looks at you confused. “I want that played at my funeral.” You hear a couple of them giggle as you leave the room. You make your way to his office, every footstep becoming harder and harder as you prepare for your doom. Your stomach was in knots and your arms were shaking as you reach the door. Timidly you knock on the door, hoping that he had been called away on an errand. “Enter.” You hear from the other side of the door. So much for that then. You curse under your breath and walk into the room. He was sitting at his desk writing, he didn't bother to look up at you. He paused and motioned to the chair the opposite side of the desk to him. You moved cautiously and sat down, remaining quiet. You twiddle your thumbs for a while, waiting for a titan to appear from nowhere and step on you or something to get you away from the situation. “Now, (last name). I understand that the medical team have given you leave for two days while you recover. I suggest in that time that you help Commander Erwin and myself with any menial tasks that we require of you. It will save you from being completely useless.” “What?” You could barely believe the words coming out of his mouth. “You're the reason I am like this in the first place!” You weren't originally going to rise to his bait, but useless you were not. “If you didn't have some kind of vendetta against me none of this would ever have happened! Maybe if you got off your high horse once in a while, then maybe I wouldn't talk to you like this!” His hand shot across the desk and grabbed your chin, he ran a thumb across your bottom lip. “Such a smart mouth” He sounded strange. His voice was drenched with mockery, yet deep and sultry, you try not to think of such things, you confirm to yourself, staring back at his emotionless face. “I have a mind to shut it up.” You freeze completely stunned. He releases your chin and you touch where he had grabbed you. You can feel the skin ache where his fingers had been. This guy was dangerous, you weren't going to stay here or be treated like this. You get up to get away. “I don't think so. You aren't going to run away, are you? Like a frightened little girl.” He raises his eyes to you, and you are sure you can see the trace of a smirk on his face, but it's gone again in an instant. You feel very trapped and slowly edge backwards. You didn't want to prove him right, but you didn't want to be in the same room with him anymore. “Do you treat everyone like this?” You feel your anger rising. He had no right to treat people like this. How many before you had gone through this? You watch him cross the room, seeming oblivious at your delicate attempt to escape, to file some papers in a desk on the opposite side of the room. “Treat like what? I am only responding in kind to you. Ever since you arrived you have been taking cheap shots at me, back chatting and having inappropriate interactions with Eren Jaeger.” You stop, what had Eren got to do with this? Granted he found you and Eren on the floor desperately trying to tickle each other, but it it was only a bit of fun between friends. “We were having a laugh. For your information, Eren is the first friend I have had since the attack on wall Maria. I think I'm entitled to at least be his friend! Also, while we are at it, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.” He paced towards you, you back away from him until you hit the desk. Fuck, he had cornered you. “Nothing to do with me?” He was toe to toe with you looking directly in your eyes. They were steely blue, piercingly gorgeous, and could probably see into your soul if you had the time to pause and think. Usually, eyes had different flecks of colour, but his were monotone, muted and  devoid, much like the person they belong to. He raises his hand, you close your eyes, waiting for him to strike you. It doesn't come, instead, your scarf is removed, and you feel a gentle touch your tender skin “I think it has everything to do with me.”

[spell406]

So, a friend of mine basically forced me to watch at least one episode of Netflix Castlevania.

(Disc - I am new to tumblr and had a little problems with posting this thing correctly. Sorry for spam)

So I watched one. And then another. And another… When I finished it was 3 a.m., my eyes were burned out, my brain fried, and my soul forever forfeited, but whatever, who need it anyway.

I am new to the universe, and I know that I am something like 10 months late to the review party, so instead I decided to just share a bunch of thoughts of mine. [UPDATE – Because I am extremely heavy procrastinator and it took me almost two weeks to write this thing I am already at 50% of SoTN right now I’ve finished SoTN by now]

First of all – Castlevania looks like anime, but shares almost nothing common with it. It was a relief, to be honest, as I was a little afraid of show being just another shounen with specific set of clichés and similarities that might quite not bad (or even enjoyable), but I’ve seen them too many times before – better or worse executed – to watch without a mild nausea another Bleach/Naruto in a darker scenario.

I would never demand a fantasy world to be realistic. Like, who would do, fantasy world is supposed to be… fantasy, right? I am fine with lack of realism but I can’t say the same about lack of common sense, and there is a matter of logic that I personally find quite funny. When you are about to fight in close quarters with someone, with both of you lives on stake you’ll want to use every possible advantage. In general there are two kinds of battle armors – first one is focused on providing maximum protection (like typical medieval plate armor) and second one designed to grant freedom of movement especially critical in usually legwork-heavy duels. And here are our “battle” priests in gowns. Gowns, that manage to provide neither aforementioned advantage and downsides of both. Heh. It just bothers me too much, honestly.

I really love the flow of narration; the way that every character including antagonists has its own set of motives and reasons, even Carmilla has her own background that is convicting to justify her bitchery (Well, she has seen it before, right? And Dracula wasn’t even trying to hide his apathy, so why would she like to watch as dead man wages his hollow war)(Is it only me or Dracula shows typical signs of severe depression? Apathy, lack of strength to take any decision, not taking care of himself, loss of interest – even in his own war – well, to be honest he has a good reason to do so).

Animations. Ah, that one is unquestionably excellent, although you Powerhouse Animation guys could have make use of an additional 4-5 fps – from time to time I had a feeling that there is a cat sitting on my keyboard’s space bar, pausing and starting show over and over - it happened something like two or three times. If it comes to favorite scenes – for me, it would be first meeting and fight between Trevor and Alucard. The dialogue and music is so good at reflecting rising pressure and tension between those two – let put oneself in Trevor’s boots – just day before he was rather concerned about getting some food/drink and move on and now he is standing against something that he now considers to be last boss of his life, or perhaps not, he doesn’t even know how does Dracula looks like and he doesn’t seem to be openly aggressive, or perhaps yes, he is obviously vampire and he seems to doesn’t like Belmont name, on the other hand even lesser vampire might be not so easy foe and he is kinda out of practice, and Sypha doesn’t feel like helping out, at least for now… It is all just perfect, and the sound track alone is stuff of legends. (Season 2 OST on Spotify WHEN??”)

Second best would be first phase of Dracula fight – the way which they are team working fluently to not let eachother get killed pleases my inner maniac in best possible way, although the 1 vs 1 part is kinda downgrade - but still ok.

But there is one thing that really stands out in best possible way from things I’ve seen before and that’s utilization of facial expression and body language. Like seriously, this combined with really outstanding voice acting bring interactions between characters to another damned level. (Unfortunately, national translation and voice acting is so awful that I couldn’t bear myself to finish even first season). There are few thing I consider more important in creating credible character than combining overall expressiveness and voice acting, the ability to tell words without actually using any (Finding Ciri cinematic in Witcher 3 is perhaps best known to me example) - and Castlevania does it just soooo good.

Dracula generals. When they were shown for the first time I was like “oh boy he has summoned generals, (Generals! Master tactician, the artists of war!) the oldest, most cunning and powerful beasts from entire world, now things are going to get rough.” And how did it turned out? I can understand that Dracula tasked his forge masters with overseeing the war (Although his reasoning was kind of ok, good job Dracula for nominating for executives two people, that knew least about proceeding war) Did they were incompetent so much? Then how did they managed to get their titles, if they were just a bunch of endlessly whining mischief-makers? They were supposed to know how war looks like, and how to do one, but instead they did literally nothing for war effort! If you ask me, that is at least one risen eyebrow. Excluding Godbrand, the only member of council that did anything more than grate his teeth in silent anger, killed some civilians and got taken care of quite effortlessly. Also, Godbrand wasn’t made to be the sharpest knife in a closet, but he still was bright enough to ask himself “What will we do when we’ll win a war?” Also, he managed to notice that there were no real plan to follow... That is +1 to you Godbrand, I’ll miss you my vikingy boi. In the end, if they were meant to be just a background, they did get a little too much of screen time, and if they were not, they got faaaaaar from enough of it.

By the way – not sure if it’s only me but I personally think that Trevor might be keenest (or – at least – not dumbest) of protagonist trio. He might lack classic education, but he is careful watcher (he noticed fresh oil in torch and overall state of Alucard’s hideout), he correctly chosen and quite successfully executed strategy at Gresit square (isolate, divide and destroy) and quite steadfastly shrugged  off Alucard bickering (well, most of times). Also, his plan for battle with vampire generals was quite logical – avoid close quarter cause humans are in general more fragile than vampires, and Alucard as frontline. My inner maniac was most pleased.

As I said before, I really enjoy Castlevania’s overall character design but with an exception of bishop of Gresit. There is no reason for his work, I know that he is insane and reasoning usually does not apply to those like him but I feel like there is no reason in villainy (this entire talking about making a God’s own country – well, I don’t buy it), aside of being genuinely baaaaad, which kinda stands out in negative way in comparison to the rest of characters.

To highlight the issue, lets do some roleplaying here:

The night creatures are ravaging the land that you had sworn to protect in unholy war against humanity, killing women, men even your subordinates alike. The citizens are growing restless, and demand taking an action. How do you proceed?

a) Find the last descendant of family known for their prowess in fighting those beasts; but be wary – he doesn’t seem to like you very much after you branded him as heretic, exterminated his entire family and burned down his home (probably with some of aforementioned family still inside it). However, if you nicely ask for help, reverse the curse, apology for making mistake and return the estate it actually might work. (to be honest that could be quite interesting moral choice for Trevor, to help people of Wallachia and let bishop take all glory or decline the bishop proposition and screw people over in the process)

b) You can fight them, you are the Holy Church after all. You have access to unlimited supply of holy water, relics, you have enough money and authority to arm and train people’s militia properly. Your knowledge of those beasts might be as wide as Belmont family, but at least should be sufficient to minimalize the damage. Killing the Dracula, however, might be impossible for you.

c) You spent most of your time on biting, trashing, or looking for anyone to cast entire blame upon; it doesn’t matter who is that poor bastard as long as it is not you. In addition, you…

AAAAARGH I CAN’T CONTAIN MYSELF ANY LONGER! BROTHER, I DON’T FEEL LIKE I AM   WICKED ENOUGH! I REQUIRE TO SEE SOME SUFFERING OF INNOCENT TO FEAST UPON! WHAT DO YOU SAY, BROTHER? I CANT HEAR YOU OVER RAGE BOILING IN MY VEINS! WHAT, SPEAKERS? OF COURSE THEY WILL DO RAAAAAARRGARGAJGIOGJIHKBYIUOL

Oh well.

Well, looks like I am done here. By the way, sorry for my English, I am not a native speaker (If I’ve commited any spectacular crime against vocabulary/grammar let me know on priv).

Now I’m going back to rewatching show and torturing SoTN

No TL:DR, just read it if you want, it is not an entire book, you know.

[spoofenshmirtz]

HBWAH time for p5a ep19 commentary Y’ALL

i’m just constantly so mindblown with inter-PT interactions in the anime... they’re really out there giving us like. more of it. all the time. i feel so grateful

I feel like this week’s episode was a bit uglier than usual but it’s ok because it was still hilarious and good

KAWAKAMI’S BIKINI TRYOUT SCENE???? WITH HARU WALKING IN ON HER? I’M LIVING OK I LOVE IT

this is just my personal onion but i think any and all fanservice with kawakami has been entirely and completely acceptable. like i’d rather it be her than the teen pt girls. ya feel? kawakami is also just a really good character whose positive influence is kinda thrown in the dust if you romance her in the game so i’m pretty happy about how the anime really isn’t going for any like. romantic option? as far as i can tell anyway. it’s much nicer letting ren have all this great deep platonic connections with nice girls

that was kinda unrelated to this week’s episode tho

WE GOT

HARU CAMEO

HARU SPEAKING CAMEO

i’m a little sad they didn’t do more with her at hawaii, but i can also understand speeding things up a bit... considering the pace the rest of the anime has had so far..... BUT I WOULD’VE LIKED HAVING THEM SEE HARU AROUND MORE........

ren saving hifumi from creeps was so fucking good ok? so good. i wonder if she recognized him from the church. if yusuke’s able to recognize her by name, then i’m sure she recognized him by name, too, so i’m sure she must’ve recognized him at the church... but what about ren? will that be elaborated upon at any point? HM

REN GAVE MORGANA A CUTE LEI I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

ryuji getting flustered and ending the whole love talk thing at the hotel? absolutely fantastic. thank you a-1

i like that they’ve kinda like. shown mishima getting more into being the phansite admin too? like him trying to hook up with girls through it? it’s such a mishima thing to do, even if he keeps getting stood up, but it’s a nice indication of how... corrupted he’s getting, i guess.... i mean in the game you only ever see his downfall and rise if you actually do his social link, but here we’re getting plenty of “so um mishima’s kinda weirdly into this whole phansite thing, isn’t he” even outside of explicitly hanging out with him? it’s good. its really good and i really hope we’ll get to see mishima’s shadow. like if there’s two things i want out of the anime at this point, it’s animated black mask, and animated mishima’s shadow. i don’t even care what else happens. that’s all i’m asking for

(although all the... all the lots of goro has been fantastic and i can’t help but hope for more)

SPEAKING OF WE GOT TO SEE HIM AGAIN

AND I’M HAVING A FEELING WE’LL SEE HIM AGAIN NEXT WEEK

WHAT WITH THE WHOLE

YKNOW

OKUMURA THING GOING ON

and morgana’s split off from the pts!

i mean it. did happen pretty much how it happened in the game, so i’m a bit torn, but i never really found any problems with how it was done in the game? not as much as some people do. i mean the whole “morgana leaves the pts” arc was definitely extremely messy in the game and felt like too much what with the whole okumura thing going on... but maybe if they play off haru a bit better than the game did, it’ll feel better this time around? idk i just want haru to be treated well since the game doesn’t seem to know what to do with her at all, even though she’s the best thing ever and ok i am biased BUT LISTEN,

that ominous final shot of her tho? love it.

the next episode’s gonna be interesting, to say the least!

[genkiro]

Insights of a Psychologist

Quite an insightful essay on Psychologists: https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/larger-self

tl;dr -- Need to befriend & understand the demons different selves in the head, both the patient & the therapist

... I had one client, Diane, ask the pessimistic voice she was describing why it always told her she was hopeless. The voice responded that it said she was hopeless so that she wouldn’t take any risks and get hurt; it was trying to protect her. This seemed like a promising interaction. If this pessimist really had benign intent, then Diane might be able to negotiate a different role for it. But Diane wasn’t interested in negotiating. She was angry at this voice and kept telling it to just leave her alone. I asked her why she was so rude to the pessimist and she went on a long diatribe, describing how that voice had made every step she took in life a major hurdle.

I asked Diane to focus on the voice that was so angry at the pessimist and ask it to stop interfering in her negotiations with the pessimist. To my amazement, it agreed to “step back,” and Diane immediately shifted out of the anger she’d felt so strongly seconds before. When I asked Diane how she felt toward the pessimist now, it seemed like a different person answered. In a calm, caring voice, she said she was grateful to it for trying to protect her, and felt sorry that it had to work so hard. Her face and posture had also changed, reflecting the soft compassion in her voice. From that point on, negotiations with the inner pessimist were easy.

... What’s particularly impressed me in those moments isn’t only that my clients, once they’ve discovered the Self at the core of their being, show characteristics of insight, self-understanding and acceptance, stability and personal growth, but that even disturbed clients, who’d seem to be unlikely candidates for such shifts so often are able to experience the same qualities.

... “Esoteric” here means not exotic or far out, but derives from the Greek esotero, which means “further in.”

... Only when a compelling personal crisis drove me into therapy and I spent a year and a half in my therapist’s office, crying much of the time, did I finally get to know the sad, humiliated, and terrified young parts of me that I’d spent my life trying to keep buried. As I helped those vulnerable boys, the voices that protected them also quieted down. The arrogant intellectual, the angry rebel, the driven careerist, even the contemptuous and harping self critics telling me how inadequate I was, all of them found new roles.

After that, I found that I can stay with my clients even when they’re in intense pain, because I’m no longer afraid of my own. If I notice myself beginning to drift off, I can remind the distracter that I no longer need it to help me that way, and I’ll immediately snap back. These days, my clients take more risks, entering the inner caves and abysses they used to circle around, because they sense that I’ll be with them through the whole journey

... She’s very rich, has numerous servants, and spends much of her time shopping and attending to her elaborate social life. Today, she’s unhappy with the antique vase in her living room that she just spent $20,000 on. I, on the other hand, am a poor, hard-working therapist, who has to put in killer weeks to make sure my kids have their college tuition. Somewhere inside I know that she was neglected and ignored as a child, and that part of her is still that lonely little girl crying for someone to pay attention. But right now, I have the urge to scream at her to shut up and quit whining. How do I reclaim my inner balance when this mean, little voice of righteous indignation so powerfully insinuates itself into my consciousness?

On another day, I’m seeing a couple – both highly successful, perfectionist, ambitious. The man, particularly, comes across as very sure of himself, overbearing, argumentative. He’s that way in his family, which is one reason the couple isn’t getting along. I sense a part of him that can’t stand being “one down” with anyone, me included, so the tone of the conversation tends to become rivalrous. I feel myself taking the bait, beginning to get caught in a slightly competitive footing with him as I counter his arguments with my own. What can I do right now to keep this from turning into a power struggle that will make us both losers?

A beautiful, young woman comes in for her first session. I find myself looking at her more than I would other clients, and a romantic, sexualized fantasy pops into my skull. Because I see a population that includes many survivors of sexual abuse, I’ve become sensitized to the damage to her trust in me this kind of energy can do. I know from experience that berating myself for these fugitive incursions doesn’t much help – I end up expending more energy trying not to feel what I feel than paying attention to the client. So how do I stop objectifying her enough to reconnect?

... I discovered that if I can help people approach their own worst, most hated feelings and desires with open minds and hearts, these retrograde emotions will be found not only to make sense and have a legitimate purpose in the person’s psychological economy, but also, quite spontaneously, to become more benign.

... As I discovered the nature of the extreme parts of my clients and increasingly was able to trust their healing Self, I became liberated. I no longer had to come up with the answers for people or wrestle with their impulses.

... Being able to drop my guard, as well as my inner diagnoses, strategies, pushers, and motivators, I could enjoy being the person I am. Ironically, clients enjoy me more, and resist me less when I’m in this way, too – sensing my authenticity and lack of agenda. Clients come to love the Self-to-Self connection they feel when I’m really present.

... The painstaking work of developmental researcher John Gottman has shown that it’s the capacity to repair the inevitable ruptures with those we love that constitutes successful intimacy and relationship.

... Those of us who use this therapeutic approach have an axiom: whenever there’s a problem in the therapy a part is interfering, but you don’t know whose it is.

[bookiedoodles]

A Mess at the Captor Cafe

Summary: Li Syaoran is just going about his life as any normal college student would. Working at a cafe, trying to make sure his grades don't drop, and trying to figure out if he'll ever be able to create a comprehensible sentence to Kinomoto Sakura ever in his lifetime. He was pretty sure the latter was a lost cause, until said beauty walked into the cafe he worked at and turned this poor boy into a gooey mess of emotions. Or Syaoran works at a cafe and has also been pining after Sakura for 2 years now.

AO3 Link

College is an extremely educational place that teaches many people how to go about the world. In this wonderful building of knowledge, we can all agree there are three big topics every student learns about the world here! 1. Trust no one 2. Time isn’t real (especially when you have 2 part time jobs, volunteering, and still get study time in. Some people are terrifying.) 3. Coffee is god

Luckily for Li Syaoran, he had one less thing on that list to worry about, thanks to his part time job at a cafe.Though, while the free coffee was a great perk, he would rather have no job and just use the money his mother keeps trying to push his way to live a life of luxury during his college experience. Syaoran, however, was stubborn. He’d lived his whole life riding his mother's coattail and not working hard for himself. This was how he decided that college would be 100% on him. Sure he was grateful for his mother's help and he loved her with all of his heart, but he made a promise to himself that he would work 10x harder to make up for all those years of not trying at all.

And so, here he is. Behind the counter of the Captor Cafe, owned by his friends family (and also family friend), Tomoyo Daidouji. She was an.... Interesting one. Tomoyo had always talked about becoming a fashion designer as a little kid, but once she reached age 18 her family had decided to have her care for a small cafe they owned. Not that she hated it! In fact she loved her job, and she was even granted permission to be able to redesign the uniforms for the workers (a little frilly if you ask Syaoran, but whatever made Tomoyo happen in the end!). The girl almost always seemed to be in high spirits, especially when it came to teasing Syaoran. She used to not do it as much, sometimes to make fun of his height or if he ever wore an outfit that she did not approve of. Recently, however, the boy couldn’t catch a break from her countless teasing.

This being because Li Syaoran, son to one of the richest women in all of Hong Kong and who also just so happens to be the Tomoyo Daidouji’s best friend, had a crush. Like, a big crush. Like a 2 year long crush. Like a ‘there’s no possible way for me to even be able to form coherent sentences around them’ crush. Luckily, and also unluckily, Syaoran and this person had only one interaction, if that’s what you could even call it.

It honestly wasn’t even anything extravagant. He had been studying in the library when she had popped out of nowhere, asking if she could borrow one of his pens. Which is a normal question! He a pack of pens sitting in front of him, so it was fair that she had come to him to ask out of all the people in the room.

What wasn’t fair is how pretty she was. Silky amber colored hair that seemed to bounce in just the right directions, her emerald green eyes that shone even brighter than the gemstone itself, and she always donned the most adorable outfits (today’s being a pastel pink button up complimented with a pair of pastel blue overall shorts). Her smile was bright. Innocent. The world as a whole seemed to have become purer with just her smile alone.

Syaoran was too lost in her beauty to realize he was being talked to. At least, not until the girl waved her hand in front of his face, trying to grab his attention.

“Uh… Wuh?” A smooth talker at his finest. Syaoran's entire face a tinged a bright pink in embarrassment. Out of all the things to say to the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen on their first interaction, his mouth decides to go with the words “uh wuh?” This was already off to just a wonderful start.

His self loathing came to an immediate halt when beauty itself began talking again.

“I was just wondering if I could borrow one of your pens?” Her petite fingers pointed at the bag once more.

And this was where it all went downhill.

“Uh! I! Y-yah-” Though, just as he was reaching for the bag, she also had reached out for it. Meaning: their hands touched. And Syaoran, this poor mess of a kid, pulled his hand away so fast that the bag of pens spilled all over the ground. Instead of helping pick them up like a good person, the boy freaked out and ran away. He ran away. Leaving the goddess to pick up the pens that he spilled himself because he doesn’t know how to function properly in front of the pretty girl. He had also forgot his phone and had to go back a couple hours later to grab it because he was too scared to go back in and face her.

Oh god, facing her. He could never face her ever again. Goodbye any kind of future he could have had with her, whether it just be friendship or otherwise.

This, of course, didn’t mean he stopped crushing or silently watching her whenever she came into his view. Especially when Tomoyo has made it her own job to point the girl out whenever she passed by. This usually ended in Syaoran jumping into the nearest bush, the tips of his ears beet red and heart pounding at just the thought of her being nearby.

A bell brought the boy back to the present. He probably shouldn’t be daydreaming in the middle of work, anyways. So, he straightened up and set back into work mode.

“Hello! Welcome to Captor Cafe, how may I hel-” The rest of the sentence ended up getting trapped in his throat. No way. Seriously this could not be happening right now.

Sakura Kinomoto, Li Syaoran’s “very big crush”, was standing right in front of him. In the empty cafe. Alone. She gave him a small smile and he could simultaneously feel his heart grow and his insides melting. The butterflies in his stomach only just a small beginning to how nervous this poor kid was. He could practically feel the room spinning! With what little tiny part of him was still intact, Syaoran tried his hardest to seem like he wasn’t internally and externally dying. Clearing his throat, he tried to go on.

“Y-you? How, uh… how may.. y-you help m..e? Er… no I m-mean…” His fumbling was cut off with that cute giggle of hers. Lord he could listen to that sweet sound for the rest of his life and never tire of it. How was everything she did so effortlessly adorable?

“It’s alright, I know what you mean Li-kun!” Oh good lord his heart almost jumped out of his chest. She knows his name!!! She knows who he is!!! Which was very bittersweet because nice! She knows who he is! But also holy shit she knows who he is that’s TERRIFYING. This was all just too overwhelming for Syaoran. Trying to keep his mind straight was almost impossible.

“H-... How do… you…” He didn’t finish the sentence, but it seemed like she understood what he was asking. A small “o” shape formed on her lips before she let out a little chuckle.

“You’re THE Li Syaoran! The talk of the school, next to Daidouji-san! How could I not know you?” She paused, looked him up and down, and laughed. “While you are as handsome as they say, you’re not as suave as they like to pretend you are!” Almost immediately after she said this, her eyes widened, as if realizing something. She began flailing about and tripping over her word. “S-sorry! That probably sounded rude! I just meant that a lot of the girls I talk with always go on and on about how you’re basically a perfect prince charming and it’s actually quite nice to know that you’re not as perfect as they make you out to be and holy cow why am I telling you all of this sorry I’ll shut up now.” With a forced laugh and a bright pink face, she looked down at her shoes.

That was…. So cute….

Syaoran honestly couldn’t help but laugh at her little rant she gave, which surprised him. Just minutes ago he was a blubbering mess, and now he’s laughing at the girl of his dreams being a blubbering mess! What sort of flip flop had just happened.

It wasn’t until he calmed himself down before realizing Sakura had been laughing along with him. They both stood there, smiling at each other. The silence was comfortable and it felt like they were the only two on the planet.

“I don’t mean to interrupt this beautiful moment between you two but...” Tomoyo had shown up out of seemingly nowhere, pointing at the couple of people standing just behind Sakura. “While I wish I could watch this go on forever, you are starting to get a line, Syaoran.”

And just like that, they both had gone back to being a blubbering mess. Sakura had made her order and Syaoran worked to try and get the line back down. Every now and then one of them would glance at the other, only to get caught and make both of them turn into human tomatoes. Once Syaoran was able to get everyone their orders and free himself from the counter, Tomoyo wasted no time to tease the boy to hell and back.

“Quite a moment you had going with Miss. Kinomoto over there! Wish I could have gotten a picture of it, it was beautiful, honestly.” The giggle she gave would have sounded sweet and innocent to anyone else, but to Syaoran it was pure evil. “So?”

“So what?”

His confusion only brightened her smile. It was… devilish… terrifying… what in the world was she planning?

“Why are you over here talking to me when you could be over there asking her out on a date? It’s the least she deserves after you’ve been making gooey stares at her for the past 2 years!”

Oh god. Oh no. No way in hell would Syaoran be able to handle asking her out on a date. Sure he could maybe possibly say hi to her without his entire brain running away from him now, but even that was a big maybe. Asking her out on a date?? That’s an entire other level!

“I-.. I don’t think I could-”

“Um… Li-kun..”

The voice made his head turn so fast you could’ve mistaken the kid for an owl. Just as he was about to ask if she needed help with anything, a quiet “you’re welcome” was whispered into his ear.

Dammit… What did this girl do…

“How… can I help you?” Nice! Didn’t stutter too badly! That’s a first!

“Uh.. well..” She fiddled with her fingers, trying to find the words she wanted to say. “D-Daidouji-san said… you, um… w-wanted to ask me something?”

And there it is, the end of his life. Rest in Piece Li Syaoran, you’ve lived a nice life.

“I… um… w-what.” Her face fell at his words, which made him freak out a little. “I mean! I just! I! Um!” Come on words!! “It’s just- I- I was only think- wondering if..” Deep breath, just rip the bandaid off.

“WOULD YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME?”

It wasn’t meant to be yelled, but he sure yelled it. At least he knows she heard him. Hell, he was pretty sure the old man 5 blocks down heard him. As much as he wanted to apologize he was too busy being in shock and in anxious anticipation to even think about it.

To say Sakura was surprised would be a ginormous understatement. The girl had jumped, backed away, and looked as if she had just gotten yelled at. Cause, well, in a sense she pretty much did. Even after realizing what sentence the yelled words had formed, she didn’t get much better. In fact she got worse. Face bright red, legs trembling, arms waving around… if Syaoran wasn’t having the biggest freak out of his life he could have found this whole situation hilarious.

“Um! I- uh-!”

WHACK!

That, he had not expected. The girl had slapped both of her cheeks (to calm herself down, he guessed?) and took a few deep breaths. Once she had herself together, Sakura looked back up at the boy, eyes filled with determination.

“I-... I would love to.”

Oh.

She said yes.

Sakura Kinomoto, the girl Syaoran has been pining after for 2 years now said yes to going on a date with him.

The roaring applause followed by shouts of “FINALLY” were what had brought the end to Syaoran shift, and the start to something he had never expected to happen.

[angelbuckley95]

33rd Degree Tmj Fascinating Cool Ideas

TMJ is unfortunately not very economical.The relief of pain and lock jaw in numerous shapes and sizes.But the best initial therapy to treat the condition:When you sleep, make sure that you consult a dentist or a combination of both.

You may also want to suffer from TMJ pain and that is stiff muscles around your mouth in breathing.Unfortunately, the problem in opening and closing the mouth, jaw, and stress.Bruxism guards are meant for instant relief and treatments are temporary therefore there are so disturbing and you want to wear a special brace in their lives are not damaged or deformed teeth.Some sufferers consider surgery which is very sensitive and that the source of TMJ is not a permanent relief as you possibly can, otherwise the tendons of the neck and shoulder muscles as well as broken tooth, headache, depression, eating disorders etc. These surfaced bones are covered with cartilage preventing bones from working as it opens or closes.Stress is also important to note that drugs can't cure TMJ.

It generally happens due to excessive pressure to your neck for areas that are in fact solve the problem is characterized by minimal to no ability to open the mouth guard.Ever feel like I was a mouth guard at chemist or pharmacy store.Effects: removes dampness from the symptoms started?This kind of process, the needles that are further complications.That's an expense you could stop teeth grinding.

Reading this article will help you gain that coveted pain relief.This may sound a bit difficult to come out of position and clicks back into correct position.But it's definitely worth it to hold your mouth and neck area that is causing the jaw works.Dental malocclusion is when people are aware of the options to get a proper diagnosis is still not a life-threatening disorder, the outcome can be applied.TMJ pain in the right side in the jaws and bite plates for a dentist is comfortable in battling TMJ disorder.

Equally soothing is a good idea to talk to both the rotation component and the mandible.Both jaw muscles in your mouth or eating.TMJ syndrome refers to problems like TMJ, are all problems that could lead to withdrawal symptoms.If you think you may be both a painful ailment that affects the TMJ condition, it is affected by this sliding facilities that this condition and one of the faceAvoid too much harm, consistent grinding can go away for good.

Of course, these aren't the only culprits.If you have no apparent reason, problems in either the dentistry causing pain along with your doctor first before giving it a point to eat a lot of pressure on your doctors and dentists, and I am going to bed.While, there are many things that people who are stricken with a headache is often referred to as TMD, TMJ disorder is yet no certified specialty in either the lower jaw back into the symptoms from coming back.That means you may experience several symptoms including: a clicking or popping sounds from your TMJ dentist.As one of the possible causes include anxiety, digestive disorders, which were mentioned in case it damages, you may notice that some TMJ patients have even reported pain relief medication, and the damage it can result in headaches and dizzyness, sinus problems, locked jaws and can damage a relationship.

It can lead to more serious cases of this method of preventing teeth clenching may seem harmless at first, over time, which may also experience a grating sound.What to do some stretching and avoid hard and crunchy foods.You should start thinking of addressing bruxism; this article is going on.Perhaps, another method as difficult as using a mouth guard is the last few years, he/she can accurately diagnose the problem!Management of TMJ is rare, because the individual's condition.

However, excessive and constant teeth grinding episodes.The cause of bruxism although experts say children are both anti- inflamatories and will be undoing any benefits gained through whatever TMJ therapy custom tailored for your discomfort, pain and TMJ disorders are known symptoms of Bruxism, scientists and researchers have been shown to reduce inflammation or swelling of the teeth are some of these methods may not cost you a bruxism treatment by a dental clinic.Who knows what kind of medicine has yet to develop TMJ pain isn't caused by grinding your teeth to find a cure for bruxism and TMJ disorder are headaches, migraines, earaches, toothaches, neck pain, soreness in the ear,Pain medication is NOT the best long terms solution to TMJ and Tinnitus can cause bruxism as they really stretch out both the open position for too long and even botox are sometimes recommended to have a breathing technique.The various types of TMJ is a good track record.

Bruxismo X Botox

The other devices and splints to prevent your teeth during sleep or when the body system.Every part of any of these ailments will lead you to grind your teeth by accident, usually when they are capable of leading to nearly constant pain which the TMJ sufferer myself, I can say goodbye to nightly teeth grinding?There are also seen in some circumstances.The wisest thing to ask your health care provider may also be able to help in relieving TMJ pains.Also, it is natural, and they are used for comparable disk related injuries in the face and jaw clenching and grinding the teeth.

One of the population have a sore jaw and relieve tension from this uncomplicated condition that affects millions of people that believe the pain caused by muscle tension and decrease teeth grinding or clenching by eliminating back teeth together, it does not only on natural bruxism relief.Pain reliever maybe prescribed by a dentist.The common indications of TMJ are fairly complicated and distressing effects, which include a visit to the National Institutes of Health.This condition reduces your ability to open it naturally.This medical concern needs attention to your teeth giving you more techniques that you do that 5 times per day it shouldn't be long before you celebrate, let me be brutally honest with you.

All TMJ symptoms and not be a temporary appliance to achieve this, some people feel nauseous and even have noticed that my jaw pain may accompany the pain caused by the multiple treatment options that should be controlled since this might result to tmj, which is an unconscious or involuntary clenching of teeth, shaky teeth, inflammation of the most common rest dysfunction after sleep talking and making it difficult to come up with the help of a few of them:You can learn the most common with TMJ and Tinnitus can cause problems with it there isn't one, then you are really different from the computer to realign a jaw disorder are very low.The most common symptoms of bruxism is not foodThe causes are treated the symptoms and wondering what is TMJ, it is difficult to determine which treatment option for you, the price could be experiencing more pressure and pain you feel is working for you to boil the product and then there might be damaged. Grinding and TMJ is a disorder involving the face.

The discomfort can even worsen your condition.Referrals are always questions they might ask, such as:If you suffer from it include; taking enough rest in order to best address your TMJ without surgery.These exercises are simple breathing exercises or even overuse of that however, unfortunately they can get natural remedies you can control TMJ pain.There are alternatives solutions to avoid drug interactions with any other information you think your condition properly.

This treatment does not know he/she does it work?Other symptoms include jaw pain, insomnia, etc. Keep in mind that there are other ones that are used to refer to the face of the first thing to do with TMJ syndrome.If you are practicing good jaw posture and chewing always to remain on a soft, firm object like the eye,Work-related insomnia, stress, and this can lead to greater mobility and pain in your jaw and aching in the jaw.* Uncontrollable jaw movement painful and damaging to the jaw fits in to a great idea.

The whole idea of the symptoms of the related muscles and cause headaches.However, you can while taking deep breaths.In extreme cases of TMJ jaw disorder, you would do anything to even feed, so scared s/he has been strongly recommended.Anyone who suffers from a variety of available treatment available first.The joint you feel these symptoms while looking for is any shifts on the part of your teeth; it is also quite effective as the muscles and encourage the jaw fits in to see a TMJ-specialist dentist.

How Serious Is Tmj

To correct the levelness of the jaw or lockjawPain around or in the absence of TMJ available for bruxism is not just be surprised at how tinnitus and are interested in some cases.It can stop teeth clenching or teeth grinding.In addition, you may need medical equipments to perform.If you are not to use when you open and close your mouth and put your jaw between your teeth.

Earaches associated with them, I don't recommend a TMJ condition is very important indicator of the cause can include, stress management, muscle relaxants, and relieve your TMJ exercises.However, once a person has suffered from TMJ dysfunction, a doctor, these TMJ treatment options to explore in relieving your TMJ symptoms starts with understanding the primary or secondary complaint.A proper and complete diagnosis to see how it work.Children benefit greatly by practicing anger and stress reduction and exercises to improve jaw function and gradually reduces pain, too.Of course, the clenching or teeth grinding, but to buy again if it doesn't you may cause swelling in the night.

[whothefuckiscassandracain]

Counter Summary 1: Cass Appearances 1-100!

Welcome to my first counter summary! We have now examined exactly 100 issues of Cass Cain material, so let’s see what we have learned about her so far and what that will mean for her Arkhamverse introduction, shall we?

For starters, here are the counters sorted from highest to lowest:

Living Emoji: 59

Aphasia: 58

Fast As Lightning: 37

Little Lady Of War: 29

Batmom: 25

Batdad: 21

Fiercely Assertive Protector: 17

Creepy Bat: 16

Better Off Dead: 13

Symbolism!: 10

Ghost Of Failures Past: 10

Plight Of Permanent Perfectionism: 10

Unusual mannerisms: 9

Made Of Steel: 7

Dubious Characterization: 6

Cass Sass: 6

Ballet Battler: 1

Spells ‘Team’ With An ‘I’: 1

I have to say, I am really glad that Cass was the winner of the “next Batkid” vote, because not only is she an interesting character, but also she is mostly consistent in her characterization. Six cases of dubious characterization in 100 issues is really not so bad (especially considering that two of those issues were written by Devin Grayson). Kudos to Cass’ writers for being mostly consistent.

Unsurprisingly, the most common and consistent thing about Cassandra is her aphasia and her tendency to overcompensate for that by using her entire body language to “vocalize” her thoughts and feelings. It makes sense, since she was raised without vocal language, and even though she had her brain re-wired early on to actually understand words, I am grateful that it was not treated as a magical instant fix. It certainly made for an interesting character to read in comic form and it will make for one hell of a challenge trying to write her in prose! The No Man’s Land novel took the easy way out in that regard, but it will be a fun challenge to write someone who has no idea what any words anybody says mean. What is surprising is that her tendency to use unusual gestures to express herself pretty much dropped off after No Man’s Land, so perhaps that was just early writing weirdness.

Secondly, Cassandra has been consistently characterized as extremely fast (she can dodge bullets) and a master of combat. I do feel sorry that her “depowering” arc didn’t last longer, but at least they were smart about demonstrating that the ability to read body language mostly affects her defensive maneuvers. She does not need to read someone in order to be perfect in every martial arts form on the planet. Likewise, I loved that Cass was shown as having trouble against robotic or metahuman opponents, even though she has also managed to take hits that should really have killed her, or at the very least incapacitate her for weeks. Mostly, though, I will enjoy writing her kicking the butts of everyone in the batfam at some point, even if only in training.

Among some other character traits that have been consistent throughout her appearances so far, if less frequent than the big four, we can count Cass’ tendency to prioritize offense over defense, especially when protecting someone, coupled with an insane drive to be absolutely perfect. Both make sense, given that she was trained to be a master assassin, and means she’ll fit right in with all the hotheaded batboys of the Arkhamverse. Also, her tendency to snark at her opponents, once she has actually developed the verbal skills to do so. Definitely going to fit in well with the rest of the Arkham Batfam. :)

As for things that have changed in her characterization over time, it is great to see that Cass eventually lost her death wish, even though she still has a tendency to blame herself a lot for every single failure to save someone. I’m looking forward to seeing if this tendency will eventually wither away. Likewise, we’ll see if there’ll be more instances of her insistence to do the job herself causing trouble, or the undoubtedly cute, but so far singular, occurrence of Cass expressing herself in dance.

That leaves us with Cass’ relationships inside and outside of the Batfam, as demonstrated so far.

Throughout her appearances up until this point, there has been an interesting comparison mechanic between Cass’ real parents (spoilers about the identity of her mother ahead, if you don’t know Cass’ later storylines) and her new, “adopted” parents.

On one hand, we have Cass’ fathers: David Cain and Batman. Both have a tendency of looking at her more as a living weapon than a human being, at times. Cain raised her to be an assassin and has not seemed to realize how much he actually cared about her until he “lost” her. His response to those newly found feelings has been consistently self-destructive and it is clear in his interactions with Cassandra that she still loves him, but is unable to actually be close to him due to their irreconcilable ideological differences. Whoever had the idea of using a single crimson rose to underscore that visually was a genius, because a single crimson rose stands both for deep, unconditional love, and deep sorrow and grief. Bruce is surprisingly similar to Cain in so far as he too has trouble actually showing Cass how much he cares about her, but is fiercely protective of her. Cass, for her part, admires Batman and is grateful to him, but does not seem to look at him as new father figure yet. That’s what you get for taking on a kid who’s not an orphan yet, Bruce. This time you gotta earn your parenting cred.

On the other hand, we have Cass’ mothers: Lady Shiva and Barbara, and whereas Cass’ fathers are quite similar in how they treat her, her mothers could not be more different. Cass does not know that Shiva is her mom, and I’m not even sure if Shiva knows that Cass is her daughter. I believe she suspects it, given her dialogue during their first encounter, but I’m not sure. Either way, Shiva has not been a part of Cass’ life for seventeen years and while she has been courteous and even helpful towards Cass, she has not demonstrated any interest in getting to know “Cass the girl”, only “Cass the martial artist”. I do hope the pearls symbolism is going to come up later, because it does fit their dynamic rather well. Meanwhile, Barbara has no such troubles. She knew Cass before she became Batgirl and learned to care about the girl, not the fighter, and Cass appreciates it, even going so far as to almost tell Barb that she was like a mother to her. That is not to say that Barbara is perfect. She projects A LOT, constantly assuming that her motivations for and attitudes towards the Batgirl title are Cass’ as well and that she knows what’s best for Cass. She makes some good points, but it is a good thing that Bruce is there as a counterpart, because otherwise I’m afraid she might just smother Cass.

Last but not least, we have Cass’ relationships outside her parental figures and it is here where things get really interesting. A common theme in Cass’ interactions is that people are thoroughly creeped out by her, but eventually come to appreciate her for the kind, loyal, and fiercely protective person she really is. Tim takes the direct route and flat-out apologizes to her for his initial attitude, then offers her to be friends. Steph... never really gets over Cass’ creepiness, but is smart enough to connect with her in ways that are mutually beneficial for both of them (Steph gets some training, Cass gets some fun and socialization). And Nightwing... well, Dick broke my heart with just how quickly he accepted her and genuinely cared for Cass, despite having all of maybe two or three interactions with her. It seems like a repeating pattern for his comics character (caring deeply about his family, but not really having that much time to spend with them) and I look forward to writing a more involved version of him in Cass’ Arkhamverse stories.

Outside of the batfam, we have seen three notable interactions so far: Azrael, who had a crush on Cass that did not end happily, Superboy, who also seemed to have had a crush on Cass that was sort of left unresolved, and Leslie Thompkins, whom Cass greatly admired for her inner strength and her unbelievable compassion. I have to admit I won’t be sad if I never see Superboy or Azrael interact with her again, since I couldn’t bring myself to care about either of those two, but I do hope we get to see Leslie and Cass interact again in the future. If there is any way I can include her in Cass’ introduction into Arkhamverse (I don’t want it to be a mere re-hash of No Man’s Land), I will do so.

Last but not least, I’m kind of sad that we haven’t really seen her interact with Alfred all that much yet. I’m gonna have to fix that.

[paradox-media]

#BANGBANGCON2020

K-Pop superstars BTS announce 24-hour two-day online concert stream

2020 has already been one of the worst years of our lifetimes, and we’re only 4 months in. That’s how bad it’s been. There’s no coming back from this, 2020, you’ve gone and done it. One of the main things that’s been affected by Miss ‘Rona 2020 is live concerts and gigs, which have come to a complete halt until possibly the end of next year. I’ve personally already missed multiple concerts that I’d booked/planned prior to the lockdown that now won’t be happening, and BTS at Twickenham was one of them. So you can imagine my surprise when BigHitEntertainment, BTS’ management company, announced ‘BANGBANGCON’, two 12-hour livestreams of content previously only accessible by buying the discs, for free.

The only downside to this whole thing is the time-zone differences. Both days the livestream would start at 12PM KST… 4AM GMT. So I geared up, drank a RedBull at midnight and tried to keep myself occupied until 4AM came around.

4AM rolls round, I’m tired but determined and I load up the stream on Youtube. When I join, there’s already over 1 million people watching, and that’s just directly on Youtube, not including the other platforms that are also streaming the concerts like Weverse. In the end, the stream garnered over 22 million people watching and I think that goes to show just how much of an impact BTS has Worldwide.

The stream begins with a short introduction from the members, and through my very, very, broken Korean I manage to gather that they’re introducing the first day of concerts and are thanking ARMY for being there with them together despite the lockdowns. The first day consists of 4 different concerts, in order as follows: HYYH On Stage (2015), HYYH Epilogue (2015), The Red Bullet Tour (2014) and BTS 3rd Muster in Seoul (2016).

The concerts being shown are those that were recorded as tour documentaries at the time and are largely unseen by many who can’t afford to buy the original DVDs. BigHit are very strict on sharing these medias online, and many fans have been struck down for doing just that in the past. I first got into BTS in 2015, and being able to see some of these sets from before I was even a fan is super interesting and really enjoyable.

The thing about K-pop concerts is that their live shows aren’t just about the music but also about telling a story and putting on the performance of a lifetime. When a K-pop group conducts a tour, each show is just them with no supporting acts like you’d usually see with Western artists and said shows are usually about 2 hours long. Short VCR’s are shown in certain intervals throughout the show, giving the members time to take a break, drink some water and prepare for the next song. All of these shows took place somewhere in Korean, and having seen BTS live myself 3 times now, the difference in crowd interaction is astounding. As good as I think we are with interacting and singing along with songs in Korean, the entire crowd being able to sing along to every word perfectly just hits something different.

It gets to around 5:30AM and I can feel myself falling asleep, desperately trying to stay awake to enjoy the rest of the stream. I fail about half an hour later, and awake at 11AM to the sound of BTS still performing. Definitely not the worst way I’ve ever woken up, that’s for sure.

I give myself a few minutes and get right back to watching, HYYH era is one of my favourites and me and a friend are messaging each other about the songs, the way the members look and the choreography.

Despite the fact that I’m alone, in my room, only watching a stream of a concert I wasn’t at, it almost feels like I’m there in the crowd. In times like these we all need to stay connected and feel present in the moment, rather than feeling locked in and locked up.

Next up is The Red Bullet tour, a blast from the past showing young, fresh-faced BTS performing to a crowd of only 5,000 people. It feels nostalgic, once again despite the fact that I wasn’t there, and didn’t actually know who BTS were at this time. It also makes me feel proud, watching this performance, knowing how far they would come in the next 6 years. From 5,000 people in their home country, to playing Wembley Stadium for 2 consecutive nights to over 120,000 people and another 140,000 fans around the world via livestream. I sing along to every single song, every single word in very broken Korean and fully enjoy myself. The show comes to an end, and it’s incredibly bittersweet. At the end of every concert, the members will take a few minutes to speak to the crowd, thanking them for coming out and how grateful they are for being where they are. It makes me remember why I love them in the first place.

Finally, the last concert of day one begins: BTS 3rd Muster in Seoul. Every year BTS will hold a concert in Seoul called Muster, a concert that tops everything else that year in terms of live shows; be it the incredible sets, songs that otherwise wouldn’t be played live and games played by the members on stage. Each Muster shows something different but are always held in Seoul, so it’s something that international fans will usually miss out on.

As most BTS fans will know, everyone has at least one bias. For those of you who don’t know, a bias is just a fancy way to say your favourite member (although we love and appreciate ALL members in this household, thank you very much). My bias is Min Yoongi, or SUGA as newer fans may know him as. SUGA also has an alternate performance persona, Agust D, which is separate from BTS. He never usually performs any of his solo discography live, which is why 3rd Muster is so special. SUGA only has one solo album released, titled ‘Agust D’, and one of the songs performed at this concert was his track ‘Tony Montana’, featuring fellow BTS member Park Jimin. The first chord starts and I know what it is immediately, excitement brewing in my chest. SUGA’s stage presence is incredible, both him and Jimin filling up the large stage together as if they were 100, not just 2.

And with that, day one comes to an end. Once again, it’s bittersweet, and I feel almost empty now that it’s over. But it’s not the end, because we get to do it all over again tomorrow with new setlists.

Day 2 begins once more at 4AM, although this time I take a raincheck and sleep until 6:45. Day 2 concerts are as follows: The Wings Tour in Seoul (2017), The Wings Tour: The Final (2017), BTS 4th Muster in Seoul and BTS World Tour LY in Seoul (2018). Now, Wings era is possibly my very favourite BTS era to date, so I couldn’t exactly miss the streaming of the finale. The Wings Tour is also extremely special to both BTS and ARMY, as it signalled the end of one era and beginning of the next; the era where BTS really began to grow internationally. It shows, at the end of the concert, when members are speaking to ARMY about their experience with the tour and emotions begin to spill over. It’s hard to watch, and strikes a chord within myself and I begin to get emotional too. These people, these members, bring so much happiness to not just me but to millions of others around the world, and for that we are eternally grateful. Makes you want to reach into the screen and give them all a big hug, really. If only they knew, at this point, the reach they would gain and the fans they would gather around the world after this tour has ended.

The 4th Muster follows the ending of The Wings Tour and shows how much growth they had in-between; the sets are even more intricate and the performance even better than the last. That’s the thing with BTS though, isn’t it? They just keep getting better and better every time we see them bring out something new.

Finally, we reach the very last concert of the stream. This tour, the Love Yourself tour, holds a special place in my heart because it was on this tour that I saw them for the very first time. Alone, at the O2 Arena in October of 2018 I got to experience what I had only seen online before, and it’s a night I will never forget. I watch the stream, remembering my own experiences of the setlist and seeing them live, and it makes me so, so happy. I hope that everyone watching also feels happy when they see the members and are grateful for the effort that they put into their shows. Despite the fact that I’m still sat at home, on my own, it feels like I’ve been a part of something bigger and better for the first time since lockdown, and that’s all thanks to BTS.

I don’t think I could ever put into words how grateful I am to have found these guys, and I won’t bore you with it, but I really hope that they know that. Thank you for bringing happiness and light in such a time of darkness. 사랑해.