#i am eternally angry

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[weirdalyoutubecomments]

[brudiza-spudnik]

MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE IS TECHNICAL PROBLEMS. LSDJ DOESN'T WORK. FL STUDIO DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. SAMPLING IN REAPER IS USELESS BECAUSE DRAG AND DROP DOESN'T WORK. TRYING TO WATCH A TUTORIAL AND YOUTUBE IS OUTDATED ON MY SHITTY OLD ANDROID TABLET. WILL LIKELY NEVER GET YOUTUBE TO WORK AGAIN ON THIS THING IF IT'S OUTDATED NOW. GAMING IS BULLSHIT BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE GAME REQUIRES TWEAKING THAT I DONT WANT TO FUCKING DO. ALL MY SYNTHS AND SHIT ARE CRASHING. I JUST WANT TO MAKE MUSIC ON MY FUCKING PHONE IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK. JESUS CHRIST

[arolesbianism]

Eternal gales isat au except Bloom is the one looping and she never fucking escapes due to the curse of being 9 years old. Oh and also the middle aged woman actively sabotaging her at every step of the way ig

[guttersniper]

@rejectory

steel of his eyes search booker's face for several seemingly too-long seconds, as though the meaning and value of a minute had become stretched out and distorted.

his chair tips back, front legs lifting off the ground in a balancing act. " mm. – remember, you point a finger at me, you get three pointing back at you. " it is said more to gain a rise than anything else.

[offorestsongs]

idk if this is glaringly obvious but a lot of Rosienne is just me projecting growing up with undiagnosed ADHD

[chaimachi]

I need gay people in GBF to stop making their lovers spats my problem, please and thanks.

[sketchmre]

i know in my heart yaretzi has laugh lines and crows feet

[emcads]

wearing white/ivory is really a rookie mistake for someone who gets bloodstains in their clothes so regularly, but she'll never learn because The Fit comes first 😔

[goyurim]

we've really convinced ourselves that happiness lies in getting what we want. we're such fools

[minarcana]

still thinking abt viv sending me her caps from uri at the vday cutscene. punching dirt about him and moen being Best Fuckign Friends. i love them so much. moen was so determined to wrangle this loser. god bless. i love moen and i would kill and die for her. so would uri except he cant. i cry every day

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

How many chapters will cynanide narwhal go for?

Also i wanna say i LOVE little Xiao so much he deserves a pancake i think he would explode if he was handed one

i'm afraid that's like the one question i cannot answer. my track record is horrendous. i remember saying something about itysg(ainly) being like five to six chapters long at the start and then look where that ended up. i tought cyanide narwhal would be only a little longer than that one but NO. i do not have self-control when it comes to fic lenght. i could tell you we're in for six more chapters but then see you next year and we're eighty chapters deep. i'd love to say it cannot possibly go for more than twenty as of the latest chapter, but clearly i don't have the capabilities to make such a claim and have it be accurate,;; i know how much story we have left, but what that means in chapter lenght? no clue

so no, i genuinely do not know how many chapters it'll go for lmao i'm sorry;;

[ribelleribelle]

trying to figure out how to play a song on the piano without having had any piano lessons ever before and not knowing how to read music :)

[david-watts]

had to stop watching the referendum coverage because 1. nobody understands the constitution 2. and instead of actually campaigning for or against they made up strawmen to get angry about which 3. results in the most inconsistent statements going live on the national broadcaster. yet alone being used as justification to halt any progress because it's not good enough in regards to where we as a country SHOULD be but we're not at yet

[browncesario]

imeet the first lady (2012)

[madbadash]

The entire team that is The Eternals from the Marvel movie

MOTHER FUCKER, YOU CAN NOT INTRODUCE 10 FUCKING CHARACTERS AND THEN IMMEDIATELY KILL 1 AND THINK I'LL CARE

4 members of the fucking team ended up leaving by the end of the movie WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING. WHY DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. YOU LITERALLY JUST INTRODUCED THEM

Welp...