#i am doing my absolute best please no one @ me
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I'm gonna deeply anger some people I otherwise hugely respect by reblogging this but goddammit hear me out on this. Understand that this is coming from a socdem and syndicalist.
Is it deeply and grossly unfair to women - and leftist men and nbs, but mostly women - to have to deal with this? Oh, goodness, yes, absolutely. Yall deal with enough as it is.
HOWEVER. This is where we run into the is/ought problem; just because it's deeply unfair doesn't mean it's not a problem that actually exists and needs to be reckoned with. And yes, it absolutely is.
At some point one has to listen to the overwhelming refrain of "I feel vilified for who I am" and stop denying it's a thing at all or going "skill issue, I deal with that daily," and start pondering what to do about it.
You cannot rage that white men overwhelmingly break conservative and even men of color are starting to slide that way (Latino men straight up flipped red this time around)... and then upon hearing why, getting directly told that it's a you thing repeatedly by various people who have been sucked into and subsequently escaped the chud vortex, and shrug and say "Not my problem."
Pretending that it's just a few people venting in private or it's all TERFs is the peak of ostriching. It's willful ignorance. This has been a thing since the 60s or 70s or so, and a major societal trend. And! Where do you think the TERF ideology stems from anyway? Or the struggles that AMAB nonbinary people experience in being excluded from queer spaces? Could it possibly be that it's a perfectly natural progression from demonizing men to demonizing maleness? That particular call is coming from inside the house. TERFs are inevitable as long as this particular seed remains planted.
Related to this incidentally is the issue that rehabilitation seems to be dead. Once someone's gotten bamboozled to the right, anyone who gets out of it gets viewed with suspicion at best for the rest of their lives and is more likely subject to mass callouts and attempted cancellations forever. Once anyone left of center has decided you are bad, there is literally nothing you can do to fix that.
I know it fucking sucks. Again, it is grossly unfair to ask an oppressed class to give a single shit about a group that includes the majority of their oppressors. And yet! The ones who either don't fall to right-wing bullshit, or fall in and escape, have been loudly telling you that not doing so is costing you deeply. Again. Is/ought. It is not the way things should be, but it is the way things are, and no amount of theory or ideological orthodoxy is going to change that.
If this isn't reckoned with you're just going to keep seeing more and more male voters in minority groups slide rightward. The current course is backward, not forward. What's being done now is not working.
Please. Think about it.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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I am the Princess in the Tower.
You know, people hear that, and they say, "Oh, that poor Princess, she must be so lonesome up there. Some cruel fate must have befallen her, to be trapped so."
It's true, to a certain extent. I am lonesome. There's no shortage of princes and princesses - I have to wonder where they all come from - who come to try to rescue me from my captivity. None of them ever get particularly close, of course. The Tower is surrounded by a dark and tangled wood, monsters of flesh and stone stalk the grounds, invisible barriers and devious traps block all entry, and even if they got to the base of the Tower, they'd have to figure out how to climb up a sheer, frictionless vertical surface while automatically triggered fireballs rained down upon them... it's pretty well defended, is what I'm trying to say. Every single one of them gets sent packing, cursing the wizard who built the Tower and imprisoned me.
Which is, you know, pretty funny, when you get right down to it.
I mean, it's only natural to assume that, right? Wizards are mysterious, they pop in and out all the time. If one decides to suddenly vanish one day, well, he's probably just off calculating the angles of reality, or whatever, he'll be back. And if a girl appears in his Tower, well, of course he kidnapped a Princess for his own unfathomable wizard purposes.
It hardly matters that there aren't any kingdoms missing a Princess.
I don't correct them, anyway. It's safer for me if nobody knows who I am, or how I've changed. Safety was, after all, why I built the Tower in the first place. You think wizards do this for fun? Out in the middle of nowhere, forced to conjure food and water? Having to walk up and down twenty flights of stairs if I feel like going outside?
Wizards build towers when they are scared shitless.
See, I cast this divination spell when I was an apprentice, and I fucked it up. It constantly shows me visions of my own doom...
Not buying it?
Well, there was this devil, see, and I tricked him into thinking I'd signed my soul away, so now he stalks me forever, seeking vengeance through the very shadows themselves...
No good?
Well, I was cursed as a wee babe, and now all the world is my enemy, from the mightiest warrior to the softest blade of grass, and each one thirsts for my blood!
...I would have died to that one, like, immediately, huh.
Okay. Fine. I'm just... a coward. I built my Tower as far away from everything and everyone that could possibly do me harm as I could. I studied magic because it felt like the best way to avoid any and all hard work, conflict, and danger. I held off on telling anyone anything about who I truly was or what I wanted until I felt I could be absolutely safe.
And still, with "rescuers" at my door just waiting for my hand, I can't bear to look at them. The idea of one even getting close enough to attempt to climb the Tower (it's happened more than once) is terrifying. I could ask them to stop, but who would believe me? "Yes, I, the Princess in the Tower, am totes fine, please go away forever thanks, I am not an evil wizard." That'd go over well.
There's another princess that just made her way through the Woods and slayed one of my constructs. She'll be at the Tower base soon. She's got really pretty hair
I wish
I hope that you
Please don't
I'm writing this down here, and then I'm gonna go hide. If you're reading this,
The blue-armored princess flipped the paper over to the other side. It was blank. Her hair smoldered from the fireball she'd almost dodged, and she drummed her fingers on the hilt of her blade as she reread the first side. Aside from the paper, the room - and, indeed, the entire interior of the Tower - seemed completely empty.
#relia writes#eggbug writes#fantasy#first thing ive written in kind of a while#im considering running away from a lot of things#a tower sounds really nice right now
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He was at Three Sheets yesterday night with Ashley. Check their respective stories
Dear Three Sheets Anon,
Your information is correct. What I meant by 'nothing to do with Ashley Hearn' in my post is a bit different, though. Ashley has been in London for a while already, obviously for sales & marketing purposes. She clearly posted about it and even suggested she will be in Scotland soon. But she is not the reason he is in London these days. She already successfully toured several bar outlets by herself, using her own business contacts, in New York and elsewhere: meeting her boss while in London is absolutely normal and nothing to write home about. But not the main reason he is in London right now, I think.
So it would seem they met at the Three Sheets Bar, yesterday.
S's IG story:
[Later edit]: Ashley's IG story - too bad I interrupted myself to get a delivery and then lost this thread:
S tagged both the bar and SS's IG accounts. This is a routine business meeting, especially considering the Three Sheets also deals in business consulting:
They have two outlets in London, one in Dalston and the other in Soho. Both have excellent reviews and well, the expected price range for cocktails in London (10-20 £ ):
Your ask also gives me the opportunity to come forward with several things I have been keeping in my drawers for a while, so thank you for that. Kind of.
Remember (LOOOL and then some more for that, always) my through the grapevine info that C joined S and the team at Milady's bar in New York, on October 17 2024, after the Versace Armani event she attended with Maria McManus? I also remember the Without Pix Anon:
Well, I don't have 'pix' , but I do have the next best thing (gracias a ti, siempre ❤️):
Ashley liked what C posted on October 25, 2024. One full week after the Milady's get together - why would she, if C wasn't there at all, like all the Righteous Pundits lie to you?
She also briefly followed her on IG, but not anymore (why? I will let you draw your own conclusions), along with several OL cast members (followed all of them at the same moment, after the event): Rankin, John Bell and Skeleton. Bell and Skeleton were at that get together, too (unsure about Rankin? it's Saturday, after all and I am not the Metropolitan Police, either - please correct me if I am wrong). She still follows them on IG. Clearly they met there?
The second thing I wanted to bring along is Maximum Wobbler Bullshit's recent nonsense:
This impostor and mythomaniac I have repeatedly debunked in the past still has very scant English, negligent writing skills at best and no damn idea about what marketing means. She was completely triggered by this particular post, on November 5, 2024 (while almost everyone was looking elsewhere, for obvious reasons):
Featured in the pic is Mia Kumari, a good friend of Ashley Hearn. Maximum Wobbler Bullshit conveniently forgets to explain who Mia Kumari is:
Based in London, UK and currently mixing at the Satan's Whiskers bar in Bethnal Green (after a short spell at The Savoy, hello?), she is a well-known, up-and-coming bartender with a consistent record of awards:
The press is raving about her:
[Full article, here: https://foodism.co.uk/features/long-reads/women-london-bar-scene/]
She is also a feminist bartender, with an internationally praised agenda:
[Mia was last week in Greece, as guest speaker at the very prestigious Athens' Bar Week. Too bad I left: I would have certainly bought a ticket and gladly listened to what she had to say - https://www.athensbarshow.gr/guest-speakers/mia-kumari]
Surely a trailblazer 'in London’s dynamic and globally revered bar industry', who also is 'an advocate for equality, diversity and inclusion' does not need Sassenach Spirits to promote herself. She is doing a smashing job at it, like the pro she clearly is: on trend, progressive, sought after and more than noticed. I fail to see where the fuck the alleged cronyism is, because that would simply mean Mia Kumari is a social zero, a nobody in the UK's spirits industry, taking advantage of her friendship with Ashley Hearn in order to get more attention for her sole benefit. That is a lie and that is simply wrong: if anything, it is Sassenach Spirits that needed to prominently feature someone like Mia Kumari, in order to align itself to the values she is so actively promoting (all values C is sensitive to, hmmm). We are miles away, here, from the Cutty Sark wannabe (in)famous Labour Day boat party in Marina del Rey, featuring the BBC/Blue Bikini Chick, back in September 2023 (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/727347023165145088/its-all-fake-anyway), when all the fandom trolls were on fire. So, Sassenach Spirits needed to do exactly something along these lines, in order to promote and boost the seasonal Xmas sales of their tartan scarves, SS's most expensive merch, targeting a younger, more sophisticated urban crowd.
Clever brands constantly redefine themselves, looking for the right trends and the right crowds to promote their products to. This is a clear sign that finally adults are in the room, now, at SS's Marketing and Sales respective departments. So damn glad to see this welcome shift!
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I was just going to reblog but I am going to add something on this.
Anyone using AI for an essay is slowly but inevitably making sure that the essay-system has a strong chance of being discarded in favour of on-site exams and oral exams exclusively.
Let me explain.
I grew up in Italy. The education system there is a bit different, and same goes for university. While a lot of universities worldwide have a very comfy system where you get handed a syllabus and know pretty early what your essay questions are, and get given a pretty cushiony deadline of a few weeks to a couple of months to prepare your paper (depending on the module), Italy works differently.
A university exam in Italy normally falls under two categories:
1. On-site written exam, usually by hand. Sometimes with open questions.
2. Oral exam. Which is a fuck you to anyone with performance anxiety and memory issues, and where a professor can easily fail you for stuttering, being unsure of your answer, or simply because they don't like you (perhaps because you are queer, or you are neurodivergent, or you laughed during their lecture once, or you were late too often, or unprepared too often), and they can simply ask you the hardest question they can imagine (I had friends who got failed for failing to remember what an annotation in their textbook said), and then say that see, you are simply unprepared. Come back next time and fuck you, since you're at it.
I went to move and study abroad because I have severe performance and social anxiety, paired with memory issues. The essay-system? I flew through my bachelor and masters in a breeze with very little hiccups. I graduated best of my class. I could finally have the time and the space to breathe, I could do my research, keep notes nearby while I wrote my essay, review things, think about my answer without panicking about being one second too late, enough for a professor to decide I had not even opened the textbook once.
That is precious. You do not want to lose this.
But if the issue with AI becomes too big and difficult to spot, they are absolutely capable of taking that privilege away and just increase on-site exams. Not even presentations. On-site question and answer. It's not fun, and many people fail not because they don't know the answer, but because they are scared of the professor and the exam.
You don't want this.
If you have questions about the material ask the professor or a fellow student. Visit the library. Use the digital materials. You won't have a chance to read half of those texts once you are out cause so many texts in university library cost more than a hundred bucks to buy, if they can be found at all.
And please stop thinking only about yourself, you are throwing a lot of neurodivergent students under the bus just because you don't want to hand in a late assignment.
Signed,
A former university student who did their whole ass degree with a then-undiagnosed ADHD and Panic Disorder, and who, by comparison, had nearly failed every single one of their high school classes with the exception of English and P.E. (and only because the P.E. professor passed everyone who showed up for class).
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An Arranged Marriage, part 22
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21
1.6k words
While you absolutely needed summer clothes you got the feeling that Bira had something extra in mind. At least your husband seemed to like it!
(I am feral over my own character, ask box is always open for talking about my writing or just monster fucking in general!)
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“Thanks for helping me with this” you said as Bira lead you through the busy streets.
“Of course! I’m not going to let you drop dead from the heat! I’m just happy Zen’jan waved me down to let me know” Bira responded.
It was quite a walk to the shop, tucked into a corner of the city that was mostly minotaurs, though Bira assured you several times her friend who owed the shop would be able to help.
“Hoonti!” Bira practically yelled as the two of you entered the shop.
The minotaur woman behind the counter looked and smiled, “Bira!” and the two quickly launched into an animated conversation in orcish.
“This is Hoonti, a long time friend of mine” Bira introduced, “and one of the best tailors I know. She’s going to take your measurements and ask a few questions and get started on making you a few things to start with”.
“Sounds good!” you answered.
Hoonti got right to work, buzzing about you with her measuring tape while Bira translated her questions.
“Any preferences for colors? Or any colors you absolutely don’t want?” Bira translated.
“Nothing too bright” you said.
“That’s no fun!” said Bira.
Bira was almost always in bright colors and clothes with fancy trim or details, though Zen always dressed pretty simply. He seemed to be the odd one out though, most of the trolls in the city seemed to be more like Bira with bright, highly detailed clothes and lots of jewelry. The closet thing to jewelry you ever saw Zen wear were the gold bands at the base of his tusks, though he had gotten you a few bracelets and necklaces.
“Okay okay okay, nothing too bright but let me pick one outfit for you, please!” Bira practically begged.
“One outfit” you repeated firmly.
“Just one! And I promise you’ll like it, and so will Zen’jan! It’ll make him happy”.
You raised an eyebrow at her.
“Don’t worry, it’s just something traditional but it needs to be bright! Just trust me” she said.
“Sure”.
Many rounds of questions later and Bira and you were leaving the shop with the promise that Hoonti would drop the clothes off in a few days when she was done.
“So, you and Zen’jan” Bira began.
“Yeah?” you asked.
“He seems a lot happier than usual recently”
You could not help but smile a bit over that. There had been a shift in Zen over the last week, he was more relaxed around the house and was comfortable taking up space. He sat and stood up straight, no longer always trying to make himself smaller, he lounged and stretched out across the bed, he constantly showed you little affections like a hand on your shoulder or waist for a moment when he walked past or a quick nuzzle where he could.
“It’s been a good week” you smiled.
“Well, it’s good to hear that. He’s been doing better in general since you got married, he doesn’t look so tired and drained all the time anymore. He’s never been the best at taking care of himself, though it looks like he’s getting better about it though now that he has someone else to take care of”.
Bira showed you a few more of her favorite places around the city before walking you home.
“I’m happy he has you” Bira told you as she hugged you.
“I’m happy I have him too” you told her.
Three days later Bira and Hoonti showed up in the middle of the day laden with new clothes for you. Skirts, pants, shirts, and dresses of varying lengths, colors, and styles and much better suited for the weather than anything you brought.
They both fawned over you while you tried stuff on, it felt silly with how they fussed over you, but it was still fun.
“Ok ok, last one!” Bira called and handed you the last outfit.
It was several pieces all in a rich shade of red and trimmed with shiny gold embroidery and pearls.
“And I’m guessing this is what you were so excited about?” you asked.
“Just try it on!” she was so excited.
You ducked back into the bathroom to untangle the pieces; a pair of shorts, a wide rectangle of fabric with the beautiful embroidery on one long edge, and a longer thinner rectangle of fabric with the same embroidery in the center of one of the long edges.
“I’m going to need an explanation” you called from the bathroom.
“Shorts on, the wide rectangle ties over the shorts as a skirt, and just wrap the other around you and I’ll help”.
The shorts were shorter than you would have liked, the skirt came down to your mid thighs but because it was tied together it left quite a slit up the side where you tied it on you hip. You wrapped the other piece around you and shuffled out of the bathroom feeling rather exposed.
“Really?” you asked Bira.
“Yes! You’ve seen me in stuff like this! Don’t act so surprised!”
She helped you with the top, wrapping it behind your back and crossing it over your chest and tying it behind your neck. It left your midriff bare, but much to you surprise it at least covered a good amount of your chest.
“Absolutely perfect” Bira smiled.
“Its short” you muttered back.
“It’s good for hot weather, and for dancing! There’s a few festivals coming up that it’s perfect for. And I bet Zen’jan will like it, you should keep it on for when he gets home”.
You chatted with Bira and Hoonti for a while before both left to go about their day. You had to admit you had a lot of movement freedom in the outfit, and while it showed off a lot more than you were used to it was comfy and did look good.
Zen came home later that afternoon, in the last week he had been coming home earlier.
“I hope you do not mind, I stopped by the market in my way home and just picked up- wow” he paused when he saw you.
“It’s looks alright?” you asked.
“More than alright, you look incredible” he sat the food down and crossed the room, quickly placing his hands on your hips while he took a moment to take you in.
“Bira said it would be a good outfit for some festivals coming up”.
“It is, though now I am going to have to actually dress up for festivals to keep up with you” he pulled you closer until you were pressed against him and you could feel him purring.
You could also feel him hard against you. The two of you had been bathing together and sleeping naked, though both of you chose to ignore anything other than cuddling for now.
Zen was breathing hard and you could feel his heart racing being so close to him. He leaned down and nuzzled his forehead against yours before pulling you into deep kiss, wasting no time parting you lips and slipping his tongue into your mouth.
It caught you off guard. Zen never initiated anything, he always carefully waited for you to lean into him to cuddle, or for you to kiss him first. His grip on your hips tightened and you felt him grinding against you, felt the way he panted and moaned into your mouth, how his whole body heaved with every breath.
By the time he pulled away you were breathing just as hard, your heart racing while you looked up at him.
“I am sorry” he muttered, “Was that alright?”
You did not answer, instead you tangled your hands into hair and pulled him back in for another kiss. This time you pressed yourself against him and pulled him close just as much as he did to you. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and ran it along the base of his tusks before pulling back a bit and letting him lead again. His tongue nearly filled your mouth and you happily teased him by sucking on his tongue a bit.
Kissing him was never an elegant affair. His tusks always bumped the sides on your face and you also could not tilt your head at the right angle while you were wedged between them. Then mismatch in size between the two of you meant his mouth always entirely covered yours in an odd way, and it all added up to some rather wet, clumsy, and messy kissing but neither of you minded.
His hand drifted lower, cupping your backside and pulling you to rub against him, leaving an ache between your legs. Besides the night you had gotten drunk together, he had not so much as even hinted at anything more than cuddling, his sudden forward was was a bit odd but not unwelcome.
You pulled away from the kiss, “So, formal wear does it for you?” you teased, though at that moment he had also chosen to nudge your legs apart and press his thigh up against your center, making you collapse forward against his chest and let out a soft moan.
“When I come home and my beautiful wife is all dressed up for me it does” his voice was low in your ear and you could hear the need dripping from it. “And as beautiful as you look all dressed up for me, right now all I can think about is helping you out of it all, if you will let me”.
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Tag list
@blushycadaver @hazyspacefairy @littlelovebug98 @tufflepuff23 @graveblanketgreen @krayziee
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p2: three reasons why you can't stand co-star!james potter
co-star!james potter x actress!reader
summary: you were finding the first days of shooting your new TV show to be absolutely amazing, aside from the fact that you absolutely could not stand your co-star James Potter. unfortunately for you, you spent enough time around him to narrow down his most irritating qualities to only three:
a/n: hey so this took waayyy longer than i would've hoped to release, but i promise this series is not going anywhere, so tysm for all the loveee and all ur guys' patience <33
also pls pls pls feel free to send in prompt requests for this series i am so all ears
full series: Trouble in Hollywood - masterlist
1. He was insufferably good at his job
You wished you could say working with James Potter was such a challenge because he was simply bad at his job. But the thing was: he wasn't. It turned out he was really the impeccably good actor that your director Minerva seemed to swear he was, as if the talent truly was seeping through his veins. Somehow, that only made working with him more frustrating to you.
"Aaron, you've got to believe me."
James had come to you during the middle of hair and makeup and asked you to rehearse lines with him even before official rehearsals for the day's shooting began, saying it would make him feel more prepared. And, as much as you hated it, you felt the same. Your only regret was thinking you'd be able to stand him and his arrogance before seven in the morning.
"Why should I, Cassidy?"
The brunette responded to you fully in character, leaning back against a nearby vanity with his long legs crossed in front of him as you sat in your cushioned chair. He apparently got out of hair and makeup in under a matter of minutes, looking effortlessly put together with his curls hanging perfectly over his forehead—you didn't have the same luck. Your lovely makeup artist Mary seemed to be unbothered by the interruptions, continuing on with your makeup as you rehearsed your lines, though you caught her amused smile every once in a while from her reflection in the mirror.
"Because..." you began, trying to stay in character as your brain scrambled for your next line.
"You're supposed to say," cut in James, "'-because we can only trust each other right now.'"
"Please stop telling me my lines, James." You repeated the irritated request you'd uttered all morning to him as you put a tired hand to the bridge of your nose, one that Mary moved away hurriedly.
"Watch your makeup," she pleaded with a powder-filled brush to your nose , and you winced apologetically.
"Did you just want me to stand here and wait for you to remember them?" James's voice poked at you irritatingly as you stared up at him from your seat.
"Yes, that's exactly what I want." You fought from rolling your eyes. "You could at least give me a second. I didn't even ask for my line."
He raised his brows with an acquiescent sigh. "Whatever the lady wants."
Ignoring him, a skill you were growing like a muscle, you cleared your throat in focus, trying not to move too much as Mary blended some product on your neck. "Because we can only trust each other right now."
James quickly jumped back into character, right on time. "That didn't mean anything to you the other night."
"I already told you I'm sorry for that. When I heard all the rumors, I ..." you cursed at yourself as your mind drew another painful, embarrassing blank.
"-I didn't know what to think." James looked anything but guilty as his voice met your ears once again, finishing your line for you without fail.
"James!" You glared at him, doing your best to stay out in your chair and not storm out of the trailer he'd so brazenly infiltrated. You shook your head to yourself through your reflection in the brightly lit mirrors . "You're impossible."
James shrugged innocently. "I don't get why you're mad at me for trying to help."
"I'm not."
He scoffed, putting a dramatic hand to his chest. "So is this what you look like when you're happy with me?" The corner of his aggravating lips lifted along with his shoulder in a small shrug, before turning away again. "Isn't very much like how I've pictured it."
You didn't miss the way Mary let out a small breath of laughter from her nose as she switched over to doting on your hair. You gritted your teeth.
"I mean, I'm not mad at you for helping. I'm mad at you because you're annoying."
He crossed his arms defensively, his lips still quirked up, and you fought against the urge within you that had your eyes following the movement of his biceps. "I'm annoying?"
The feigned disbelief in his voice snapped your back to your right mind.
"Yes," you answered plainly. "You and your posh accent."
Maybe you'd stopped making sense, but it was too early for you to care. James was watching your meltdown with what you could only identify as merriment, his unfortunately unignorable presence taking up too much space in the cramped makeup trailer.
Thankfully choosing to ignore the part about his accent, he put up his hands innocently. "Last time I checked, I wasn't the one who keeps forgetting their lines."
"We just got the updated script for this episode last night." You shifted in your chair to face him, and you heard Mary wince from behind you, probably getting fed up with how much you were moving around, though you were too annoyed to stop yourself. "How the hell are you already off-book?"
James shrugged smugly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he leaned forward. You squinted your eyes at him. "An actor never reveals his secrets, love."
You twisted your mouth in disgust at his words—because you definitely felt something as he said them, whether it was disgust or not you didn't want to think about—and probably only made him more satisfied. "Mary," you groaned, looking at her through the mirror in front of you. "I think I'm going to be sick."
She shook her head and gave your reflection a sharp look back. "Not in that freshly ironed shirt you're not."
You sighed, settling back into your chair and sparing another glance at the man to your right. He tipped his head at you, almost tauntingly, and you felt your jaw tighten. It was going to be a long day.
2. Everyone else seemed to love him
You'd been going about your Thursday innocently, filming scenes when called upon—finally having memorized all your lines properly—and somehow getting through the morning without any irritating interactions with your least favorite person on set at the moment. That good feeling, of course, could only last so long.
"What's this?"
Minerva, your director, had been walking around set with you until you both stopped at the sight of a crowd forming outside one of the sets. You followed her, making your way through the crowd of your fellow actors and crew members until you were met with a nauseating sight: James Potter.
At the sight of your director, his already proud smile grew to a beaming one, almost blinding, as he greeted her. "We've all been really busy with this week's filming schedule, Minnie, and you mentioned what a hassle it's been ordering enough food for everyone every day with our budget, so I pulled some strings and got my family's chef to cater our lunch."
Your jaw slacked as he nodded his head to his left, where a number of tables were set up with what looked like pizza ingredients, a moustached-man in a chef hat standing behind the scene proudly. You couldn't believe your eyes. Apparently, neither could the woman next to you.
"Oh my- James this is ... amazing!" Minerva—or Minnie, as James somehow had grown accustomed to calling her—turned to your co-star, expression as bright and beaming as James's crowd-pleasing smile was. "But you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble-"
"It was no trouble at all. Francis was more than happy to help."
He waved a hand at the chef, who you assumed was the 'Francis' in question, who nodded back at him happily with a pizza cutter in his hand. It was like something out of a movie, the way everyone clapped for James who stood at the front of the crowd like the beloved man he was. You felt sick to your stomach.
"What's wrong? Do you not like the pizza?"
You'd taken your lunch shamefully, making sure to hide your amazement at the endless selection of pizza toppings that James had arranged at the build-your-own-pizza station, and were sitting with Remus, who you'd met at auditions for the show and luckily got casted in a role other than one that'd gone to James, and Sirius, another one of your co-stars who you'd quickly become friends with since you spent practically all your time on set nowadays.
You looked up at Remus briefly before returning your gaze to the pizza in front of you, the perfect slice underneath the sun seeming to taunt you. "No," you grumbled. "The pizza's amazing."
Sirius chuckled. "You'd think you'd be happy about that."
"I would, aside from the fact that it was Potter who brought it in."
The black-haired man tipped his head at you curiously. "What's your problem with James again?"
You shook your head forebodingly. "Don't tell me he's brainwashed you both with his hundred-dollar pizza too."
"I doubt the pizza's that much money." Remus bit into the slice in his hand, talking through the bite. "But it is pretty delicious."
"It is," Sirius nodded. "It was pretty nice of him to cover lunch for the day. If anything, you'd think you'd like him more for this."
You groaned. "He brought in his family's private chef, for God's sake. It's not like he rescued a cat from a tree or something."
Sirius and Remus shared a look as you spoke. You knew you sounded ridiculous, but you currently lacked enough dignity to care as yet another slice of pizza sat on your plate, ready to be eaten.
"James is actually a really nice lad," reasoned Sirius. "Take it from us. We kind of grew up with him."
That fact had yet to escape you as soon as you'd met the two of them. According to the stories they'd relayed to you, Remus's mum had been an on-set tutor to James growing up when he was acting in some movie, while Sirius's parents had been producers for some of James's parents' films. Safe to say, the three of them certainly left you feeling inexperienced in the world of acting.
"James should be the least of your worries," urged Remus. "He's harmless."
"If he's so harmless, then why has he gone out of his way to be a pain in my ass since I met him?"
Sirius snorted. "We said he's harmless, not that he's not an idiot sometimes."
"But," Remus added, "whatever James has done, just know that it always comes from a good place. The man doesn't have a mean bone in his body."
You sighed inwardly. The James Potter you knew seemed to be very different from the one that everyone else seemed to be familiar with, and it was driving you crazy.
3. He was an obnoxious flirt
When you said 'flirt', you not only meant that he flirted with you—unfortunately—but that he seemed to flirt with anyone in sight, whether he realized it or not. In fact, you'd been forced to watch as he smooth-talked one of the hairstylists on set for the past ten minutes.
You couldn't hear everything they were saying, thank god, but you were sure she was probably more charmed by the fact that his last name was Potter than anything he could remotely come up with to win her over. You'd had enough conversations with him to know that the movie-star smiles he offered were enough to charm people before they realized just how insufferable he was.
After what felt like hours, he said something to the woman in parting and left her looking flushed and smiley as he strolled away. You sighed, happy to finally be rid of distractions, and looked back down at the script on your lap that you were trying to memorize but stopped almost immediately as you felt an unwelcome presence lingering from in front of you. You looked up and fought a groan.
James tipped his head at you innocently. "You wanted me?"
You tensed at his phrasing and did your best to go back to ignoring him as you focused back on your script. "I did not."
Not taking the hint, as usual, he stayed put, shoving his hands in his well-tailored pockets. "Well, you've been staring at me for the past ten minutes, so I just assumed you had something to say."
"Well, you assumed wrong." You gave him a tight-lipped smile from where you sat. "And I wasn't staring. I just miraculously found it hard to concentrate on memorizing lines when you were harassing that hairstylist right next to me."
He squinted at you quizzically before shaking his head, finding your banter more amusing than you probably were. "Admit it. You're obsessed with me."
You scoffed, blinking rapidly to truly portray your disbelief. "You wish. Reality is, Potter—I think I hate you."
James peered at you with a glint in his eye like he'd never heard anything more amusing, leaning back against the wall next to you. "You think?"
You shrugged tightly. "The jury hasn't come to a decision just yet." You thought back to the unfortunately delicious pizza he'd provided, and all the things that Remus and Sirius had said to you that stood in stark contrast to practically every other experience you'd had with him.
James grinned, finding teasing you the most entertaining part of his day, even on set for a TV show. "So I still have a chance?"
His eyes glistened and you reeled. "A chance to what? Did you not hear the 'hate' part?"
"Hate is a strong word, don't you think?"
You shook your head. "Strong, but appropriate."
"Ouch." He touched his hand to his chest in that dramatic way he always did, something you blamed on his actor roots. "Your words hurt, you know." You rolled your eyes, truly trying then to get back to memorizing your lines so James would have nothing over you during filming the next day, but he didn't seem to care. "Look, I get it. You said you hate me. But really, I don't think you do."
You sighed, setting your script aside as you looked up at him with finality. "And why is that, Potter?"
"Because," James began, and you didn't like the tease in his tone as he looked down at you. "A little birdie told me you had some say in whether or not they cast me in South Bay. And that you actually encouraged it."
Your lips parted, those words being the last ones you expected him to say after weeks had gone by since the chemistry read. You didn't know who'd ratted you out, but whoever did would be getting a stern talking to. Or a partially stern one, since they were more than likely your boss.
You shrugged weakly at him. "That ... that doesn't mean anything."
James's thick brow lifted effortlessly. "So you're not denying it?"
At his challenging look, you relented with a drop of your shoulders. "I'm not. It's true; I told Minerva I think they should choose you to play Aaron becuase you are good at your job, James. As much as it annoys me. I mean, you're clearly a great actor, you get all your lines memorized overnight, not to mention the entire crew is in love with you for some reason-"
"Oh, I see."
You paused, looking at the way James's slight grin turned into a shit-eating one. "What?"
He tipped his head at you tauntingly. "You're jealous."
You let out a laugh harsher than you meant it to be. "Please. There's nothing about you I could possibly waste my energy being jealous over."
The brunette tutted, and you hated the feeling it sent through you. "For such a great actress, you're not a very good liar."
You felt your breathing shallow for a moment, not knowing what to do with the compliment that flowed so easily from his lips like he hadn't given it a second thought. You pushed the thought aside, focusing on the insult part of his statement instead, and rolled your eyes.
"Look," James continued at your expression. "Jealous or not, we're going to have to work together on this show for God knows how many more months. Years even, if it gets renewed for a second season." The thought both filled you with excitement and dread as it came from James's lips. He looked down at you with an honest curiosity. "How much longer can you go on pretending to hate me?"
You noted that what he was saying was true, letting the words sit in your chest for a moment, but you also noted that you had more fun being petty. You tilted your chin up at him. "Funny that you think I'm pretending."
James put a hand on the table you were sitting at, leaning forward slightly and making you freeze up. "Funny that you're still not a good liar, love."
Your throat felt tight with something you wanted to again dismiss as disgust at both his proximity and the delicate word that fell from his lips. You let an unpleasant pinch form between your brows. "I thought I told you not to call me that."
James felt something warm, almost giddy, form in his chest, and it didn't matter that you looked like you were considering slapping him right then. He let the corner of his lips quirk up. "You're adorable when you're mad."
"Don't call me that either." You huffed, picking up your still un-memorized script and standing. "I'm going to my trailer."
James quirked a brow, following you with only his eyes. "Is that an invitation?"
You rolled your eyes, walking away and calling over your shoulder. "Absolutely not."
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MOMMY KNOWS BEST ❣️
Chapter 20
Brian awoke with a sopping wet diaper. He started to cry wanting out of the crib. He soon heard the door open as both women walked in. He immediately noticed that both of them were wearing nightgowns. Why would Samantha be wearing one of mommy’s nightgowns? But he was more concerned about his soggy diaper. “Oh mommy is here,” Rebecca cooed. “Let’s get you changed out of that icky diaper.”
He laid on the changing table sucking his thumb while she cleaned him up. She decided to leave him in just his diaper for the afternoon. “Me no nakey,” he exclaimed indignantly.
“Babies don’t mind at all. Besides, that way mommy can tell when you need changing. Now let’s go snuggle. Mommy and Auntie need to talk to you about something.”
The three walked out into the living room. They sat down on the couch and Rebecca sat him on her lap. “Mommy thinks you can be a big boy for a few minutes.” Brian felt his grown-up mind in control again. “First off, I want you to know that mommy loves you with all of her heart. I am so happy to be your mommy. Mommy would never leave you. Mommy knows that you love being a baby. But,” she paused. Brian felt apprehensive.
“But mommy knows that its hard for you to be a big boy now. I need you to know that you cannot be both my baby and my husband. That isn’t fair to mommy.”
Brian grew upset and tears began to flow. He got off of her lap and cried out, “I’m not a baby, I’m not a baby. I can go back to being your husband. We can forget all of this and go back to how it was. Please!”
“Brian, please don’t be like this. I’m not mad or angry at you, but I think you know deep down that you don’t want to go back to being a big boy. You are happier as mommy’s baby. Brian this isn’t up to you anymore.
Brian sobbed, “Please let me try being a big boy.” He dropped to his knees begging for her to hear his plea. He felt his bladder release and he peed his diaper.
“Brian, look at me. What did you just do in your diaper? Big boys don’t pee themselves. You aren’t a big boy. I want you to repeat after me. I am just a baby.” she instructed. He looked down at his swollen diaper. She was absolutely right and he was always going to be her baby. “I’m a baby,” he repeated over and over again.
Something clicked in his brain and he knew exactly who and what he was. He was a baby and she was his mommy. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and decided to show her just how much of a baby he was. With a grunt, he filled the back of his diaper, “Me went poopy mommy.”
“Mommy is so proud of you,” Rebecca said. “There is one more thing you need to know. Auntie Samantha is going to move in with us and help take care of you. I want you to also start calling her mommy.”
Brian was shocked, but knew his old life was over. This was his new world. His only response was that he wanted to nurse. Rebecca placed him laid him on her lap and he started to suckle. He tasted a few drops of milk. As he quietly nursed, Rebecca knew that he would never again object to being a baby again. Maybe it was the effects of the file she had played or maybe his deep-seated desires had completely taken over. Whatever the case, his transformation was complete.
The End
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Almost, Always
♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader
Summary: Happy endings aren't for everyone, so it seems, but that doesn't mean that you can't stop trying for one. Question is, are you actually star-crossed lovers that can figure something out, or just absolutely blind to reality and really fucking stupid?
CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, smut, cheating
Author’s note: it's monday! and fake joe's here for you! he's... not exactly the best, for which i apologise, but, he's all for you, so please, enjoy him fictionally and respect him privately (too much to ask? i hope not?) ok great talk everyone, love you <33 xo
Wordcount: 6.3K
part one - part two - part three - part four - part five
Four days of silence.
Four days of not looking each other in the eye. Of no physical touch. Of not saying a single fucking word.
You moved around each other in a shared space until you had the thought that you were probably better off avoiding each other completely for a little while.
Joe was convinced he had every right to wait for an apology before he’d speak to you again. You, however, obviously heavily disagreed.
You had just been honest.
Joe had asked for you to be honest and so, you had been, but apparently, you’d done it wrong.
It started with an evening of not speaking after an outburst. A silent night routine where you completely avoided one another. Acted like the other person wasn’t even there. You’d thought then that you’d speak in the morning. That you’d talk things out after getting some sleep, because maybe that was the problem.
You slept with your backs facing each other and dreamed of better moods in the morning.
But then the next morning, Joe had gotten up and only made one coffee.
One singular cup of coffee.
He drank it at the kitchen table, looked at you all bitterly like a disappointed parent would look at their child who was ruining their potential, and then left the empty cup there for you to grow even more annoyed at. More than you already were.
That one evening of silence had slowly turned into four days.
You bit your tongue, though. Kept quiet, because Joe did too. Stored the annoyance away. Swept it under the rug, and even though this metaphoric rug was starting to look really lumpy, you pretended you could walk over it fine still.
You then also ignored that this is precisely what the fight had been about. About you shutting up about all the little things that annoyed you. All the small things that didn’t feel worth the effort to say anything about in the moment, because you didn’t want to be a nag.
Things built with you.
Being bothersome was your worst nightmare, so you wouldn’t say anything for ages until then suddenly, on a random afternoon, a teeny tiny drop made the bucket overflow and you’d fall apart at something so stupidly insignificant which would take everyone by surprise.
Would take Joe by surprise.
And it made sense that Joe’s first reaction to your fire would be to light his own. You’d snap and shout, so Joe’d snap and shout right back.
“Babe, you never fucking communicate! It’s always– I’m always guessing with you! Just tell me when something upsets you!”
“I am!”
“Yea now you are! But you’re telling me about shit I said three months ago! What do you want me to change about something I did three months ago?!”
“I don’t want you to change anything– my God! You asked me what’s wrong, so I’m telling you what’s wrong!”
It was always the same fight. And usually, you’d end up saying something so stupid to your own ears it would break the tension and make you laugh. It’d be easy to apologise in those moments, because you knew this was on you, and the warmth coming off of Joe as he’d turn soft at your laughter would always sort of fix things.
“Stop being so silly,” he’d say as he’d hug you. As he’d kiss you on the cheek until your embarrassed grimace, aimed fully at yourself, disappeared.
“Got some moaning left in there?” he’d ask, tapping the side of your head with a finger, making you giggle despite yourself. “Want to go shout into the air from the balcony? Since you’re here now, this is the time to get all of it out.”
That was how it usually went.
And he was right; you could definitely communicate better. Express feelings in the moment rather than hold on to all the negative shit for ages.
Easier said than done, but at least you were aware that you had to stop saving things for another day.
This time the fight had been different though. There was no eventual humour slipping through any cracks. No secret smiles hidden from each other until you stopped being able to conceal them. No apologies. Zero kind words. Just… anger. And silence.
Joe was waiting for you to break first. For your wrath to turn into something a little softer that he could mould into something more to his liking.
And you were waiting because Joe was waiting. Simple as that.
It didn’t feel fair that every time you’d share negative feelings, Joe would end up calling you silly.
It didn’t feel fair that Joe never apologised for anything.
It didn’t feel fair that, just because you were quiet for a moment as you collected your thoughts, Joe spat, “Silent treatment? All right.” at you.
Four days.
Four days of Joe making a morning coffee just for himself, actively choosing to ignore, and therefore, hurt you.
Four days of his lone empty coffee cup left on the table, which you then didn’t clean, because why the fuck would you, but the sight of it was eating you alive.
You spent four days witnessing petty, childish behaviour from the man who you started believing you needed some space from. A little breathing room. Just until he’d miss you enough to reach out and say sorry, you know?
You wondered if he was thinking the same.
If the silence was also letting his mind wander into those same dark corners yours was exploring.
But then, Joe broke it.
A glass of wine on that fourth night broke it.
It wasn’t exactly an apology, but… it felt like one. You decided it was an apology.
You were sitting on the sofa, tapping away on your phone, talking to Emily about your stupid boyfriend, and she was a good friend, made fun of him effortlessly which really did a good job of making you feel better.
Then, Joe placed a glass of wine down on the coffee table in front of you.
It didn’t fully register at first.
You saw the glass, but assumed it was Joe’s wine that he poured for just himself, and if you were going to want some, you’d have to go and fetch you own.
Mid-typing out a message to Emily about it, you felt Joe sit down next to you, and when you chanced a quick glance, you saw that he was holding a glass of wine himself as he got comfortable and turned on the TV.
Slowly, your phone lowered into your lap, and you stared at that glass of red wine on the table for a moment.
Without warning, your eyes welled up.
He poured that for you.
In the effort to not let Joe notice how this gesture hit you right in the gut, you held your breath until you were shaking, and then a heaving sob burst out of you.
Shit.
You shattered.
Split right down the middle, and burst into pieces with such vigour, you surprised yourself, but surprised Joe more.
He had expected you to pick up the glass and empty it in the sink, or whatever.
Four days was much longer than he thought you’d let this go on for.
His girlfriend was stubborn – he knew that. But four days? Four days was a really fucking long time. And, apparently, four days was long enough for a simple glass of red supermarket wine to make you cry.
The astonishment rendered Joe useless for a moment.
He just looked at you for a moment as you sat with your phone in your lap, head dropped down, and your face covered by both your hands.
This was really fucking embarrassing.
Your legs felt the want to escape the situation before your mind got the chance to catch up. You were up on your feet and wanted to bolt it to the bedroom when you heard Joe put his glass of wine down.
You hadn’t even taken two steps before you got taken hold of by an arm. Pulled into a chest. Held firmly into place.
Going from four days of moving around each other like you didn’t exist to one another, to the very sudden tightest hug you’d received in ages was a lot.
And then Joe placed a hand on the back of your neck and squeezed you gently, making you fucking bawl.
No one apologised.
No one said a word, actually.
But you took whatever that glass of wine was as enough of an olive branch to let yourself be hugged.
Be shushed quietly.
Be gently kissed and softly touched.
It shouldn’t have counted as an apology, but you’d taken it as one, and Joe had conveniently let you.
Saturday night.
You’re out.
Alone.
You know Emily would have come if you had asked her to, but you hadn’t, because she would’ve likely asked a bunch of questions you didn’t want to answer.
“Where are we going?” “That’s not where we usually go...” “Why are we going there?”
Couldn’t tell her. She’d try her best to talk sense into you. Would try to convince you that this behaviour wasn’t serving anyone in the long term.
And she’d be right.
But you currently don’t really care about the long term.
Short term is where it’s at.
Where all the fun and the excitement lives.
So you’re out. Having drinks at a bar by yourself, and you do your very best fending off any trickle of doubt at your life choices until you see him walk in.
Jackpot.
You fucking knew it.
You pretend you haven’t seen him at all, of course. Continue your chat with the girl behind the bar, until suddenly–
“You know you’ve got the worst timing?”
Joe sneaks up on you.
His voice is low in your ear, and you do your very best to sound as surprised as you possibly can when you gasp a small breath, all innocent. You turn your head to see him over your shoulder, both his hands on your sides as he looks down at you.
“Fancy seeing you here.” You say it like you truly didn’t expect to run into him.
Oscar worthy.
Well. It would have been, had you not both been very aware that you’re exactly where you are for this exact reason. Wearing what you are wearing, drinking what you are drinking. It’s more than a lucky guess that he’d be here tonight.
Joe’s predictable like that.
Men in general are easy like that.
“I’m here with a whole group.” Joe’s making excuses he already knows aren’t going to stop either one of you.
“Do I know them?”
“No.” Joe answers as he scans your face from the side. God, you look all… glossy.
“Good.” Would’ve been a bit awkward otherwise.
“You better hang around for a bit.” Joe gives you a face, sort of stern, and it’s so comfortable to frown at him. To act all offended. Like it’s not exactly what you want to hear.
“Excuse you, I’m–” you start all aghast, and want to add, I’m seeing someone, which is a lie, but you get cut off by a strong squeeze into your waist from both his hands.
“I’m not joking. Give me… maybe, like, an hour and I’ll come get you.”
You scrunch your nose at him and he gives a small nod, his grin spreading wide, before he turns around and finds the people he came in with.
You’re alone. Single, and having drinks in a bar by yourself, which has every opportunity to feel a little sad, but instead you feel giddy. You predicted you’d run into him, and then you did.
Perfect.
You’re a genius.
After last time, you kind of want Joe to think that you are seeing someone. Just to make you feel like you’ve got the upper hand. Not that it matters. You’ve both made the same wrong choice in similar situations before. But, still. You just don’t want him to win.
Joe joins his friends, and he throws a quick glance back to see you smile into your drink as you take a sip.
Yea. Glossy is the right word, he thinks. He could stare at you all evening.
Fuck.
A whack to his shoulder by one of his friends pulls him into a conversation and momentarily, he shifts into the evening he had planned to have.
He forgets about you for a minute, but never entirely.
It’s like there’s a constant little buzz in the back of his head, and he keeps wanting to look over. See what you’re doing. Who you’re talking to. Who’s talking to you.
Joe’s in trouble.
You do things to him that he can’t entirely comprehend, and that no one before or after you has ever really managed. He doesn’t know what to make of that most of the time, except that the feelings he’s got for you are sort of… big. And scary.
You’re still devastatingly gorgeous to him, he can objectively look at you and think, yea she’s fucking hot, but you also manage to make him laugh. Manage to him feel heard and cared for. Manage to make him forget about all current worries life has on offer for him.
And Joe is generally, just, doomed.
Whatever he had with you had worked for a while and then suddenly it hadn’t anymore. You’d suddenly wanted out, but now… it feels a little like you both want to start over. Like you both want to forget about that chapter of bullshit. Pretend it never happened.
And what’s the problem with that?
Is whatever you are doing now a problem? If it works?
If it doesn’t hurt people, Joe thinks there’s no issue.
But he knows it actually does hurt people. It’s another truth he ignores. Tries to, at least.
There’s no denying the gravitation pulling the two of you closer and closer together until eventually you end up a tangled mess. Like a pair of forgotten earphones left in a coat pocket, too annoying to untie, so instead someone will pull at both ends until the earpieces reach both ears, leaving the wire tangled up even tighter as it sits under their chin.
Even though Joe appreciates the poetic beauty he can find in all of that, he knows he’s got to fucking stop hurting people all the time.
He can’t help his feelings.
But he can help how he treats others.
If he is going to choose to let the general ache of a bad week be soothed by the balm of your presence, he can at least have the decency to not let others presume they’re dating him. Because generally, that’s always been his problem. Joe’s vague and avoidant and all about surface level fun – he never defines anything if he can help it, and he lets others think what they please.
It’s easier that way.
For him, at least.
It’s both a shame and a godsend that this is a part of him that you know through and through. That you see. He doesn’t have to try to hide it, because he knows that it’s of no use with you.
And apparently, it’s fine, because here you fucking are, aren’t you?
He remembers when he thought you were just the same, and remembers how he felt so lucky at first.
A perfect match.
He’d learnt over time, you’re actually very much not the same. But! You had at least some of the same tendencies, and you showing up in this particular bar tonight was enough proof of it.
Joe’s in his group of friends, and they’re all chatting and laughing, and this was meant to be a fun night out, but he might as well just leave right now. His mind is with the girl at the other end of the bar, sat on her own, smiling and chatting to whoever had the courage to strike up a conversation.
Yea.
He’s got more problems.
Forget not wanting to define anything with anyone.
Joe also has to stop banking his entire future on the idea that you want him too.
There’s… there’s a lot of things to ignore.
It should foreshadow that the path he’s going down isn’t good. Isn’t the right one. But... it’s so fun and exciting, he kind of has to know where it leads.
He sighs loudly, a frustrated grumble originating from sheer defeat, and he gives the glass he’s holding a glance. He’ll finish this, and then he’ll fetch you and leave.
About fifteen minutes later, he’s got you under his arm and is leading you outside. Asks, “Yours or mine?” because there’s no need to act coy with you.
You answer, “Yours.” a little too quickly for Joe not to raise an eyebrow at.
You’re walking together, and you’re still fixing your scarf, but your steps are too determined. Too rushed for your quick answer not to hide at least some secrets.
“What, you got anything to hide from me?”
“No–”
“Let’s go over to yours. It’s closer.” he challenges without the intent to actually do so, footsteps still carrying him in the direction of his own flat.
“No, I–”
“Or has Jasper left all of his things strewn about?” Joe couldn’t finish the question before having to twist his mouth in a bid to hide his smile.
You stop walking for just a second, and give him a dead pan stare that transitions into an eye-roll before you flatly say, “All right, good night.” and pretend to turn around to leave.
It makes Joe throw his head back in a laugh, both his arms grabbing at you and pulling you close.
“Mine, okay. Mine.”
And you fall back into step, smiling into your scarf at how you just made Joe’s laugh echo down the street.
Feels good to make Joe laugh.
It’s quiet for a bit, just a short few seconds. Just footsteps on the ground amongst the noises of the city. Somehow, it feels like it drags on, like every second lasts a whole minute, and you can’t help filling it with awkward chat. “No,” you start. “Jasper’s put all of his things where they’re supposed to go.” And you give Joe a pointed look after.
He bites immediately.
“Wha– I always put my things where they’re supposed to go!”
He doesn’t.
You know he doesn’t.
He knows you know he doesn’t.
It’s impossible to forget all of the little things that made the rug look all lumpy. You’d always keep things under there for ages, which gave you a lot of time to quietly lift up corners to examine all the mess.
So you snort, and he stutters through beginnings of words he never finishes to find excuses that don’t exist until you’re both laughing.
Then he says, “Here. I’ll put this thing where it’s meant to go.” And you think it’s just about the cheesiest innuendo ever, but then he takes your wrist in his hand and lets his fingers intertwine with yours.
You look up at him with a pursed smile, but Joe’s already looking right ahead, making sure you don’t bump into anything.
You’re lucky it’s cold enough to blame the flush of your cheeks on the cold wind.
You hold hands all the way to Joe’s flat.
It’s nice.
You also talk about Jasper all the way to Joe’s flat.
That’s less nice.
Joe asks what else Jasper does that he allegedly doesn’t. If he lets you keep your heating on. If he lets you sleep closest to the door. Every question comes out with disdain, like this loser doesn’t know what he’s fucking doing.
And you answer every question with lies. Paint a very pretty picture.
Jasper doesn’t even fucking exist, but you like that Joe thinks you’re taken. That you’re off the market, and that he shouldn’t be taking you home, but still chooses to. You think maybe he wouldn’t have held your hand if he thought you weren’t already spoken for.
However, it doesn’t feel so nice to remember all the things that ruined your relationship with Joe. He just keeps listing a bunch of shit you’d once yelled at him for, and you don’t think he fully understands how it’s bringing the mood down.
Presumably, you’re meant to think it’s funny, so you smile, but all of it sits wrong in your gut. It leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth that uncomfortably sticks to your tongue and sours your mood a little.
The short-term fun with Joe is meant to be just that. Fun. You don’t want to be reminded of all the reasons why you shouldn’t be going home with him right now. If you did, you’d have taken Emily with you tonight.
You refrain from saying anything, though.
You’re still you, after all.
You just smile and tell Joe that Jasper actually does do all the things that Joe never did, and hope it sparks enough jealousy in him to maybe do something about it.
“Hmm,” Joe says when you turn the corner and his building comes into view. “Jasper sounds... he sounds kind of perfect, doesn’t he?”
He does.
You’ve created the image of a perfect boyfriend. One who you know you’d never actually gel with; you need someone who pushes back a little.
Problem is... Joe knows that too.
Just when the thought crosses your mind that maybe Joe knows you’re making everything up, that you’ve been lying this whole time you’ve been holding hands, Joe confirms your fears.
“Almost too um... almost too good to be true, wouldn’t you say?” he narrows his eyes in suspicion, a smile still playing on his lips.
“Yea, well. Some people are.” you shrug, but know Joe is reading your unsteady body language just fine.
“Sure, sure. Yea. I guess so.” Joe says, and then falls silent.
He knows you’re lying.
Well, fuck.
And then, he lets the silence linger.
Joe doesn’t say anything as he fishes his keys from a pocket and lets you into his building. Doesn’t say anything as he pushes the lift button. Just gives you a little smile, like he’s trying to hold in a chuckle, thinking secret thoughts.
It gets in your hair.
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s... no, it’s nothing.”
Joe lets his small smile turn into a fat smirk and it’s starting to get on your nerves. The lift doors open, and you assertively step inside before Joe can give you a small ladies-first gesture.
Joe watches you press the button to his floor before he shakes his head a little and follows you in.
“What?” you ask again, and to that, Joe finally lets a barking laugh out.
“What?” he mimics, feeding off of the brooding bit of bite he can sense growing underneath your skin.
“If you’re trying to piss me off, it’s fucking working.”
“I’m not trying to do anything.” Joe patronises, joy very much still visible in the lines on his cheeks.
He knows you’re single.
He knows there’s no Jasper.
“Hmm.” It’s your turn to narrow eyes at him. “Yea, no. Of course not. You don’t have to try to piss me off, you’re right. You’ve got the skills to auto-pilot your way–”
In a lightning-speed quick move, Joe shuts you up by suddenly getting close enough for you to stumble back against the mirrored panel or the lift. He’s got two hands touching your sides over your coat, firm enough for you to feel them through the thick layers of fabric.
It startles you into silence, and makes you audibly swallow.
You can see from up close how Joe smugly pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek, eyes roving over you slowly, and, fuck.
Yea.
Yea. Okay.
It shifts.
All of it is shifting.
The annoyance and slight anger transfers into something else.
Into something a little more raunchy.
You feel a sudden rush down your body from the way Joe’s eyes blaze with intention.
Joe knows you. Bit rash of you to forget.
Just before the lift stills and the doors open behind him, Joe lets his body sway forward a bit to press himself up against you entirely. It makes your breath hitch and stutter. Makes you want to grab hold of the large collar of his coat to pull him down enough so you can kiss him.
But then, in a blink of an eye, he’s gone. Pushes himself off, quickly moves away, walks out of the lift, and leaves you there to catch your breath for a second.
Fucking hell.
Oh, tonight is going to be interesting.
You don’t leave the lift until the doors start closing and you have to quickly launch yourself across to get an arm in front of the sensor. Down the hall you see him disappear into his flat, leaving his door open, and you take rushing steps to follow him inside.
You don’t want to waste any more time.
You want to undress right there on his doormat, despite the bitterly cold temperature you’ve just stepped into.
You want find Joe, who you can hear is already opening and closing cupboards in his kitchen, and just... you don’t know. Jump him, you guess.
That lift moment has made you want to devour him. Made you want to be devoured by him.
But then you close his door and step into his kitchen, and find him at the counter. He’s got his back turned, and is super calmly pouring two glasses of wine.
No urgency.
Zero haste.
He knows what he’s just done to you. Knows the effect that likely must have had. He’s toying with you. Fucking playing.
You drop your coat where you’re standing, right onto the floor. Toe your shoes off to make a pile. You cross your arms and grab hold of the bottom of your top, ready to pull that over your head next, but you pause to watch Joe’s shoulders move under his shirt as he carefully twists and pushes the cork back onto the bottle to seal it.
When he turns around, he leans against the counter, one hand on the edge of it, and in the other he’s holding a nice fat glass of red.
Glass.
One glass.
For a moment you just assume that there’s another hiding behind his back, though it doesn’t even fully register.
You make eye-contact as he takes a slow sip of his drink, and then you slowly pull your top off. It reveals a lacy bra you’re convinced Joe likes the look of.
And you’re right.
Joe halts, and openly stares. Mouth in his wine. Hypnotised. Frozen on the spot. Mind slowly turning to mush.
He’s predictable like that.
Men in general are easy like that.
You take a deep breath, inflating your whole chest, and Joe groans at the sight. The glass of wine gets put back down behind him, and you don’t even think he has taken real sip. Then he takes a few steps to pull a chair from his table.
He holds a hand up that means, one second, and pulls at the fabric of his trousers to give himself a bit more space before he sits down. He shifts a little, settles in, and then leans back with his legs spread wide, both hands behind his head, fingers folded and elbows sticking out.
He takes a deep breath before he gives a small nod that says, carry on.
You bite your teeth into your bottom lip as you smile, because Joe is an idiot, and you let your hands find the button to your trousers to take off next.
Then, suddenly, it lands.
There’s one single glass of wine on the counter.
One.
You stop your movements as you look at it and watch the red liquid inside softly swirl from when Joe put it down.
It takes a second for Joe to follow your gaze, and for him to understand what you’re looking at.
He frowns in confusion a little, looks back at you to see that you’re still staring, and then looks back again, and–
“Oh...”
Your expression has gone cold.
And Joe thinks that maybe he gets it. He isn’t entirely sure, but he’s smart enough to know that the show he had just settled in for is probably going to get cancelled if he doesn’t do anything.
“Did you...”
But he’s not sure what to say. Doesn’t know how to finish that sentence. When you start moving, he thinks maybe he doesn’t have to.
It’s crazy how this feels like it used to feel, before.
But, it’s a little different now, because… there’s nothing at stake. There’s no you to protect. No you two as a couple to preserve.
That stupid single glass of red wine.
You fucking hate it.
And you know it’s sick, you know that you’re not meant to enjoy this, but the feeling of rage bubbling up within you honestly feels kind of good. It’s been a while since you’ve gotten to experience full-body resentment, and have the immediate source of it right there to take it out on.
You want to feel this dark, sticky displeasure.
Feels fucking good.
Joe’s been reminding you of what a shit boyfriend he was to you, which was meant to be ha-ha funny. Joe thought enough time had passed. You had gone from no-contact to two people that bickered for a bit, and then would end up in bed together. It had happened twice already, and you had all the right ingredients to keep this going. The recipe had proven itself delicious, and Joe thought he could just... serve the same meal again.
It’s self-destructive, you know it is, but… you are hungry for it too.
You take a few slow steps and walk over to look at this glass of wine more closely. Joe watches you from his seat, entirely unsure of what to do, and then, without warning, you slowly push the whole thing into the sink.
Red splashes everywhere, and the glass clatters loudly, but it doesn’t break.
Next, you take the bottle into your hands. Look at the label for a moment. Pretend to read it. It’s still pretty full.
Too bad, you think. Such a waste.
You remove the cork, turn around to look Joe directly in the eye, and then tip that over as well. The whole sink colours blood read as you drain the whole thing, and all Joe can do is watch on from his seat.
He doesn’t stop you.
Doesn’t say anything.
Just watches you and feels the energy of the room build.
He’d forgotten how things always build with you.
You’re quite the sight, face reading thunder, standing in his kitchen in your bra, breath deepening with every second that passes.
Joe hates what it does to him inside of his trousers.
When the bottle empties, wine clattering in the sink, Joe sees your face change. Something more… calm seemingly overcomes you. You look... pleased.
“Does that feel justified?” Joe asks, eyes blinking at you.
“Fuck you. Yes it does.”
“Do you have any idea how expensive that was?”
You don’t give a shit how expensive that was, but just because you know Joe does, you want to know.
“Tell me.”
Joe scans your body all the way down and then all the way back up.
“Come here.” Joe holds an arm out and reaches for you.
“Shut up. Tell me.” You’re already making your way over.
“That’s a class A premier grand cru...”
You take Joe’s hand and let him pull you to sit on his lap. To straddle him, thighs spread wide, one leg over each one of his.
“That was a class A premier grand cru.” the words mean nothing to you, you know fuck all about wine, but there’s something glorious about correcting Joe.
“Hmm.” Joe hums as his nose nudges yours, and he lets both hands slide up your thighs until he finds the bits he likes holding most. He uses his grip to pull you in closer and continues, “A blend of merlot, and cabernet franc...” Joe’s French accent is awful. “An award-winning Château Angélus from... from 2016, I think...”
That’s fairly recent, you think. Can’t be that expens–
“Cost me over 500 quid.”
Your eyes darken.
Good.
You wouldn’t pay much more than a tenner for a bottle of the same size.
“Should’ve poured me a glass.”
And it’s only then that the penny drops. That he gets it. You can see it in his eyes. The flush of memories suddenly making it to the forefront of his brain.
The silent treatment.
The coffees he didn’t make you.
The wine he eventually did pour for you.
That one glass of red that temporarily had fixed everything.
Shit.
Joe grimaces. Groans. Squeezes his eyes shut. Feels like an idiot.
“Should’ve poured you a–”
You kiss Joe.
Hard.
Breathe him in, and move in enough for it to almost make the chair tip backwards. You’ve got both your arms around his neck, hips moving over Joe’s lap in a desperate grind, all needy and in search of feeling something.
Fire.
You want to feel the fire.
Momentarily, you think it’s working. That something is catching aflame. You can feel how Joe spreads his legs even wider, bucking his hips upward as he presses himself into you.
Joe is straining in his trousers, and he groans as you figure out the right rhythm to make it feel good with every hip roll, with every back and forth.
You break the kiss to let a moan escape you, head dropping back, and Joe’s mouth finds the skin of your neck to taste. His teeth graze before he kisses as you fiercely move against each other. Louder noises escape you when Joe lets a hand curl around and grab you by the back of your neck.
“Yea? That feel nice?” he pants, and all you can do is bob your head in a barely there nod as you keep moving.
It does feel nice.
Feels really nice.
Not exactly fire, though. You’re both in trousers, fabric rubbing together furiously, dry humping each other like a pair of horny teenagers who haven’t passed third base yet.
So, not fire, but nice none the less.
In contrast, there’s a lot of things Joe’s feeling, and he kind of wants you to know about all of them. Needs to speak them into the air in order to fully process what’s happening inside of his brain.
“Did you know I um… I broke everything off, the next day?” Joe starts, and stops to curse under his breath. “Fuck. Yea, keep going. Shit. Ah... A-after you left, I mean, remember? I had a lot of m-missed calls, so I called her back, and I–”
You shut Joe up with a kiss.
Try to at least.
“We could–” Joe starts again after turning his head and pushing you aside with his nose, both hands spread wide over your thighs as he helps you move over his lap. “Remember, how we really were something?”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Try to focus on the feelings inside of your body instead of on the words you don’t want to hear.
“We could be something still.”
“N-no.”
You refuse to acknowledge what Joe’s trying to tell you, but don’t stop your movements. You can’t stop, head dropping back. This all feels too good.
It’s still not fire, though.
There’s no stakes.
You’re both single, and every decision you have made this evening turns out to have been inconsequential.
It’s... it’s almost boring.
But it’s good enough.
You just need a couple more seconds, you can feel it building already.
“We c-couldn’t be somethinhgh...” you choke on your words, unable to finish the sentence.
“Yes,” Joe insists, voice low and breathy, your bodies still moving in tandem. He then uses one hand takes hold of your face by your cheeks, tilting your head down so he can make eye-contact with you for a second.
“Yes we could.” He sounds hopeful as his eyes search yours. “Don’t you get it?”
But your eyes are glassy. They flutter and want to roll back.
Joe knows this look.
Know what this means.
And it’s not like Joe thinks his kind words will really fix anything, but, maybe they will, you know? Maybe. He’s glad he has said them anyway, even though you look like you haven’t even properly heard him.
“You close, baby?”
He switches gears.
“Yea? Come on.” He helps you move with strong arms that press you down a little more, and your arms scramble behind his back in your want to hold onto him tightly.
“There you go.” he coos into your ear, and, it’s not fire, but you come anyway.
Joe should have poured you a glass of wine.
Shouldn’t have brought up bad memories, shouldn’t have tried to be funny about it, and absolutely should have simply gone and poured you a glass.
You pretend that a glass of wine would’ve made a difference tonight.
The difference that you had hoped to find.
That would’ve lit the fire.
Deep down you know that’s not it, but still. The empty bottle is right there, watching you come down from your high, Joe still hard beneath you, and it’s easy to use that as the excuse.
You decide on the spot that Joe’s going to have to deal with what resides inside of his underwear by himself.
You’re done.
Sitting up, you look him in the eye for a short moment and softly but definitively say, “Should’ve poured me a glass.” and press a small kiss to his cheek which Joe gladly accepts.
Because he knows you’re right.
“Should’ve poured you a glass.”
---
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You can’t hold me here, Mother!”
“I am your mother, Regina!” Walburga yells back. “You will listen to me!”
“I can leave any time I want!” Regina yells. “Sirius and Andromeda did! So why can’t I!?”
“You have no one to go to, Regina.” Walburga walks up to her. “Absolutely no one. No one cares about you. Not even I.”
“Fuck you, Mother . I hate you.” She sneers. “I will always hate you. I’m leaving and you can’t stop me.”
Walburga smacks her daughter’s cheek. “I can and will.” Regina holds her cheek and runs up the stairs. She slams her door and locks it so her mother can’t get in. She flops down on her bed and stares at the letter sitting on the desk. She hasn’t read it yet, but she knows if she wants closer, she’ll have to. She stands up and sits down in the chair, gently grabbing the letter and slowly opening it. The first word she reads is, Regulus. Regina takes a shaky inhale and starts reading the whole letter.
Regulus, you can get away. You can run from that house. I did and I made it. You can, too. Andy and Uncle Alphard made it. It’s time for you to get out of there, too, Reggie. And I know mother still calls you by your deadname. That’s not right, Reg. You have been going by Regulus since you were twelve and it’s time you get away from people who still call you Regina. I know James would love to see or even hear about you living your best life, even if it’s not with him.
Either way, just tell me what you’re feeling. If you don’t want to run, that’s fine. You still have me to talk to. But if you do run, Effie and Monty have a room for you and your friends are waiting here for you, too. They wait by the door or even sleep in your room sometimes waiting for you, and even if they don’t admit it, they miss you and want you out of that house just like they got out of theirs. I know they’d be happy if you just ran and didn’t stop running until you decided to call someplace home, even if that wasn’t with them. So, just, please, get out of there and live your best life whether that’s with us or without us, it doesn’t matter, just get out of there.
Love, your brother, Sirius
Regina smiles at the letter and stands up and grabs a suitcase from her closet and starts shoving clothes in it. Which is weird because she’s a neat freak and hates when things are all messy, especially when people just throw stuff, but her brother is right, it’s time she gets out of that house and away from her parents. So, instead of weeping in her room all day, she decided to get out of there, forever.
She runs down the stairs with her suitcase in hand and just runs, runs right out the door and doesn’t stop until she finds someplace hidden. She then pulls out her wand and apparates where she’s been many times, The Potter residence.
She smiles at the door before ringing the doorbell and putting her wand away. An older lady answers the door. “Hello. I don’t think we were expecting anyone today.” She backs up. “Come. Come in.” She then walks to the steps and yells, “Kids! Were you expecting anyone today!?”
“No, Mum!” A boy yells back and Regina closes her eyes, recognizing it immediately, James’s voice.
The older woman hums and turns back to her. “Well, then, what is your name?”
“Regi- Regulus. Regulus Black.”
The woman gasps. “Oh my. Should I call Sirius down? Or Barty? Or any of your other friends?”
Regulus shakes his head. “No. I think I'll surprise them.” Regulus sets his suitcase down by the door. “Just a quick question.”
Effie stops and turns around. “What is it dear?”
“How many of my friends are here? Living here?”
Effie hums and starts counting on her fingers. “Well, there’s Lily, Dorcas, Barty, Pandora, Evan, Sirius, Remus, Emma, Aurora, and my son, James.”
“Why do you let everyone live here?”
“Because it’s the nice thing to do and that’s just how my parents taught me.” Effie chuckles a little. “Well, not this nice, but that’s just how I am and how I raised James to be. Some people don’t have good homes like James does, so they need someplace to live or even stay for a few days and that’s what I give them. A place to stay or one to live. Most choose to live but some, like Peter and Alice and Frank, they choose to stay for the summer or a few days because they have nice homes and would miss their family too much. It’s just what this family does, sweetheart, and I hope you get to be a part of that.”
Regulus smiles. “I hope so too.”
“So, I need to make another bedroom?”
Regulus nods. “Yeah, I’m living.”
***
“My sweet,” Regulus says, lovingly. “We are not having another child.”
“But-”
“Three is enough.”
James sighs and flops down in the chair behind him. “I think we should.” He mumbles.
“No.” Regulus replies, sternly.
“Why can’t we-”
“It’s not your body, now is it?”
James’s face falls and he leans his head on his hand. “You know-”
“No, James.”
“Fine!” James groans. “I won’t put another baby inside you.”
“Good.”
“Guess that means we can never do the fun stuff again.”
Regulus’s head whips up from his book. “What?” James looks to the other side of him. “James,”
“What?” He asks, turning his head back to him. “What is it, love?” Regulus opens his mouth but closes it again. He doesn’t even know what to say to that. James sighs and stands up to stretch. “Well, better get to bed.”
“James, It’s ten.”
“So?”
“AM.”
“So?”
“It’s still morning.”
“So?”
“You just woke up.”
“So?”
“You are not going to bed, James.”
“Are you bossing me around?”
Regulus nods and goes back to his book. “Yep.”
“You said I can't do that.”
“That’s you.”
“So, it’s different when you do it?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
“It just is.”
James hums and walks towards his husband. “Really?” Regulus hears the change in his voice and gulps. Regulus nods back, not being able to get anything out. James takes Regulus’s book and sets it on the stand beside him. When Regulus doesn’t look up, James guides his head up to his. “How is it different?” He whispers.
Regulus gulps again. “It just is.”
James hums and nods. “Yeah?”
Regulus nods. “Yeah.”
“Papa! Daddy!” Euphemia screams, running towards them. James straightens up quickly and looks over to their daughter.
“What, dulce chica?”
“Can we go to the park?” The black-haired girl asks, jumping up and down in excitement.
James looks over to Regulus, he shrugs in return. James looks back to the girl. “Of course. Go tell your brother and sister to get ready.” Mia smiles and runs off, yelling for her siblings. James chuckles and turns back to Regulus. “We can’t ever have any peace, can we?”
Regulus shakes his head at his husband. James leans down and kisses his lips before walking down the hallway to make sure they’re ready in time.
***
Regulus laughs as both him and James lift up their daughter that’s in between them and she squeals. Leo’s walking beside Regulus and holding his other hand while their oldest daughter is walking beside James. Regulus looks in front of them to a woman approaching them. Regulus inhales a breath when he realizes who it is. Walburga.
She glares at the two before looking at the three kids next to them. She bends down in front of the girl in between them and smiles. “Hi.” She says as James tries to hold their daughter back but she just pulls his hand to make him stop. She’s still holding onto her fathers hand when Walburga speaks again. “What’s your name?”
“Euphemia. But Papa and Daddy call me Mia.”
She smiles at the young girl. “Hello, Mia.” She turns to the young boy by Regulus’s side after glaring at the man holding onto his hand still. “What’s your name?”
“Leo.” He mumbles softly.
“Hi, Leo.” Finally, she glares at James then turns to the red-haired girl beside him. “What’s your name?”
Rose holds up her hand in front of her father and he takes it, putting their entwined hands beside them. “Papa said not to talk to strangers.” Rose mumbles.
“But I’m not a stranger.” The older woman says. “Your parents aren’t doing anything to tear you away, are they?” Rose shakes her head. “So, what’s your name?”
“Rose.”
“Nice to meet you, Rose. I’m Walburga, but you can call me Wally.”
“Wally?” Euphemia asks, giggling.
Walburga smiles at the girl.
“Isn’t Wally who grandma always talks about?” Rose asks, looking up to her father. James looks down at her.
“I wouldn’t know. Your grandma doesn’t talk to me about stuff like that.” She looks over to her dad this time. Regulus doesn’t answer, still in shock. Rose turns back to the lady as Mia and Leo laugh. She made them laugh. Regulus thinks. She made my kids laugh.
Regulus snaps out of his daze. “Come on, let’s go to the park.”
“But, I wanna stay.” Leo whines.
“Let’s go see Aunt Lily and Aunt Pandora, then.”
“Eclipse and Luna?” Mia asks, looking up to her dad.
Regulus nods. “And Harry, Lillian, and Lewis.”
Euphemia jumps up and down and pulls her fathers down the sidewalk past Regulus’s mother. Regulus looks back to her as they pass. She smiles at him and turns around to walk away. Regulus turns his head back in front of him. She smiled? What kind of sick bitch smiles?
-
Walburga kept a straight face throughout the whole funeral for her husband. She didn’t cry once because ‘Black’s don’t cry’, at least that’s what her mother always said. So, she hasn’t cried since she was seven. She didn’t want to get crucio’d again. She didn’t even cry when she married Orion, her cousin, when she wanted to marry someone else. They were even talking about their future together when her mother brought up her engagement. Her engagement that was set from the time she was born. The one where she couldn’t get out of it even if she tried. And oh did she try, but her mother always brought her back, time and time again every time.
Euphemia was the love of her life and she couldn’t ever marry her. Ever. So, instead of telling her about the engagement that was set before she was born, she decided to just break it off. And it wasn’t the best way to go about it, either. They had a horrible fight over something she can’t even remember now. Probably something stupid, maybe something important. Walburga couldn’t remember even if she tried.
A few months after their break up in Hogwarts, she was dating a Gryffindor. A Gryffindor that's nice and generous, unlike her, he’s perfect for her. She’s kind and generous and so much more. He doesn’t deserve her and neither did she. After Hogwarts walburga got an invitation to a wedding, one called ‘The Potter Wedding’. Walburga rolls her eyes at the ridiculous name. (Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous) Potter always was like that, one for stupid things. But I guess there’s two Potter’s now. She thinks.
Walburga was surprised by the invitation, not because Effie remembered her, but because she wanted her there. Walburga sighs and slouches in the arm chair, dropping the invitation on the floor as she pulls her hand to her forehead and holds up her head with it.
She can’t go. She never could. She can’t be associated with a blood-traitor, but Salzar does she wish she could. She wishes she cried then, but she didn’t not for years after that. The first time she cried since seven was when Sirius left. It wasn’t because she didn’t want to accept her daughter as the heir, it was because she wishes her daughter went with her son. To get away from this family even though she couldn’t. She was happy one child didn’t turn out like her and she knows her children talked about not turning into her.
She wishes she could’ve stayed with her promise. The one where she promised her brothers to not turn out like their parents, but instead, she did, and so did her youngest brother. The middle brother, though, he got out just like her niece and son. That was the first night she cried over her brother, her niece, her son, and her daughter all in one go.
The second time Walburga cried was when Regina left right after their argument. Their argument that was supposed to be a simple conversation in which Walburga subtly nudged her to leave the house, but turned into a full-blown argument. At least she left. Walburga thought.
So, when Walburga was walking in the park one day and sees someone who looks exactly like her daughter, she realizes her daughter isn’t her daughter, they’re her son. Walburga smiles and about walks away to cry, but sees the smile on her son's face as he lifts up a girl with another man. The little girl laughs and gets set back on the ground. Her son is holding a little boy’s hand and the other man is trying to get the other girl to hold his other hand.
She decides to walk up to them, but doesn’t show her smile. She’s gotten good at that over the years, having to hide her excitement and discomfort. She couldn’t when she was with Effie, though. She always brought out the emotions in her. All of them.
She glares at the two men, not wanting to show them she actually cares and squats down in front of the girl and smiles. “Hi.” She says. “What’s your name?”
“Euphemia. But Papa and Daddy call me Mia.”
Named after her grandmother. Walburga thinks. She smiles again at the young girl. “Hello, Mia.” She turns to the young boy by Regulus’s side after glaring at the man holding onto his hand still. “What’s your name?”
“Leo.” He mumbles softly.
“Hi, Leo.” Finally, she glares at the other man, not wanting to reveal she cares, then turns to the red-haired girl beside him. “What’s your name?”
The red-haired girl reaches her hand up to her fathers to hold hands. He does and puts them at their sides. “Papa said not to talk to strangers.” Rose mumbles.
“But I’m not a stranger.” She is, but her son isn’t doing anything. “Your parents aren’t doing anything to tear you away, are they?” Rose shakes her head. “So, what’s your name?”
“Rose.”
“Nice to meet you, Rose. I’m Walburga, but you can call me Wally.”
“Wally?” Euphemia asks, giggling.
Walburga smiles at the girl.
“Isn’t Wally who grandma always talks about?” Rose asks, looking up to her father. Walburga looks up also. The man looks down at her.
“I wouldn’t know. Your grandma doesn’t talk to me about stuff like that.”
“Mia, Leo.” Their heads go over to her and away from the other conversation. “Why did the scarecrow win an award?” She asks.
“Why?” Leo asks.
“Because he was outstanding in his field.” The two kids laugh at the joke that their grandmother taught her and it’s stayed in her head ever since sixth year.
“Come on, let’s go to the park.” Walburga's son says. Walburga nods and stands up, understanding that he’s trying to get his kids away from her.
“But, I wanna stay.” Leo whines.
“Let’s go see Aunt Lily and Aunt Pandora, then.”
“Eclipse and Luna?” Mia asks, looking up to her dad.
He nods. “And Harry, Lillian, and Lewis.”
Euphemia jumps up and down and pulls her fathers down the sidewalk past her. Walburga sees them walking away and then her son's head turns to her. She smiles at him, hoping he gets the message that she still cares no matter what. She then walks away, not wanting to disturb them anymore than she already has.
She closes her eyes as she leans against her front door, slides down, and sobs on the floor.
#marauders era#ao3#ao3 fanfic#archive of my own#ao3 writer#james potter#jegulus#starchaser#regulus black#marauders and co#sunseeker#walburga black
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hi #1 bob sheldon defender
can you pretty please elaborate on what you think bob’s relationships with the other socs are ?
ok sooo sorry this took me so long but i am so incredibly ill and my brain is not doing its job 🙂↔️
putting this under ‘read more’ because this turned out long
bob and paul: they’re obviously really close!! i hc them both as being only children, which bob feels kinda different for since he’s grown up with chet and brill who both have 2 siblings each, and trip who has a brother. they definitely view each other as brothers, hence why paul was quite as fucked up as he was when bob died (also like to be fair he did watch it happen so there’s that too)
bob and cherry: guys they are so important to me,,, girlboss gf and girlfailure bf… obviously they are head over heels for each other, and cherry’s the only one bob is really vulnerable around, which makes it all that much harder when he’s been drinking. they both want to help each other get through the bad times, but they both know that it’s inevitable that bob’s going to get caught up in the social divide :( they are so important to me :( bob who doesn’t know how to comfort cherry about her parents arguing but really wants to try
bob and marcia: the idea of bob being very wary around marcia because he’s scared she’ll spread slander about him is so funny to me because she is only 3 apples tall!! you’re telling me you’re scared of her when she’s 3 apples tall and riddled with anxiety?? they’re close because they’re the two who are closest with cherry, so they spend a lot of time together, but bro is quaking in his boots because he’s so scared she’ll put the embarrassing shit she knows about him to use
bob and trip: dyslexic bob sheldon who claims he just ‘doesn’t get it’ when he struggles with homework, and trip who helps him out without making any jokes at bob’s expense. trip (in my head) presents as quite stoic on the outside even though he’s secretly silly, while bob is more outwardly silly, so they balance each other out. trip who knows the best out of all the guys that the fighting is worthless, but knows exactly why bob does it. and bob who knows trip doesn’t fully support the fighting, but encourages him to join in so trip can control something. they’re not the absolute closest of the bunch, but they are very important to me!!
bob and chet: bob sheldon who wreaks havoc on his parents to try and get them to parent him better, but he takes things far more seriously when chet is the one being ignored by his parents. bob who doesn’t let chet go a night sleeping at his own home unless it’s by choice, so he always fixes up the couch for him in case chet lets himself in while bob’s asleep. they’re close. they’re so similar in the way they’re treated by their families, and how they choose to cope with that treatment. i don’t think i can actually put into words how important they are to meee!!!
bob and bev: oh you thought he was scared of marcia? beverly jitney-bush is no man’s peace. they’re close in the way they argue a ton but it doesn’t change their dynamic at all! with bev constantly at brill’s, and brill living 2 doors down from bob, they spend a lot of time together! bob’s probably the most headstrong guy, while bev’s the most headstrong girl, so they’re both close and at constant odds with each other. i think they argue because they’re similar, but they know they understand each other well enough to know when they’re going too far.
bob and brill: childhood best friends type shit!! they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and brill’s always balanced bob out really well. when bob’s letting his emotions guide him, brill’s there to help him regulate himself. they’re pretty big opposites from each other, but it’s something that really comes in handy when one gets in a situation he’s not exactly equipped for, because the other will always come to his aid. all the more tragic considering bob and brill make direct eye contact when bob gets stabbed
#the outsiders#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders headcanons#chet baker#the outsiders chet#chet baker you will always be famous#the outsiders musical#bob sheldon#clark brillstein#clark brillstein my little blorbo#the outsiders brill#the outsiders bob#terrence dipp#the outsiders trip#paul holden#the outsiders cherry#cherry valance#the outsiders marcia#beverly jitney bush#the outsiders bev
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hey you have a wife (!!) so you must be an expert on women. how do i woo a woman. please. help us
i asked my wife (!!) what my wooing strategy was and she said, “well, i wooed you, so jot that down.”
it’s true though; she’s the one who asked me out. she kissed me first. she Defined The Relationship first. which isn’t to say i didn’t participate in the wooing! i watched her favorite show so i could talk about it with her. i made her soup when she was sick (and then she reverse uno’d me when i got sick by making the same soup, only 10x better) (cooking is unfortunately not one of my wooing skills). i told her when i was thinking about her and joined her trivia nights and [redacted for tumblr]. but i did not have a Great Wooing Strategy.
tbh, i think the single best thing i did among the wooing was—and i know this sounds so, so cliche—just be myself. which, okay, hear me out: at the time i met my wife, i didn’t feel like i needed a romantic relationship to be happy/complete, and i had also come to the conclusion that i absolutely hated casual dating. like, i gave it a few tries and mostly found it exhausting and miserable and boring. so i had just decided not to actively pursue dating people i didn’t really know…and then, well, you can guess what happened next. (what happened was: i saw her and went, okay. maybe i could hold off on not dating for a bit. you know. for science.)
so when i first started seeing my wife, i approached it with this mentality of like—i don’t need this to work to be happy. if i date and keep dating someone, it’ll be because i truly, actively want to keep seeing them. which means i’m actually having fun with them. which means i’m just being myself around them, because that’s how i am around my friends, and also other than my Worksona i’m just not good at putting on a facade of any kind. i’m not going to pretend to be really sporty or super into hiking or like i don’t know what anxiety is. and lo and behold, i had fun with her. i wanted to see her again. i wanted to know her. and when i did, i got to do it as myself with no additional pressure of trying to seem cool so she’d like me more. (like, i definitely wasn’t trying to seem cool. somehow on our second date she asked what omegaverse was, and i had a moment where i could have pretended not to know. i did not pretend not to know.)
i mean, i definitely smoothed over some edges for a while, but i also just set a foundation to build the kind of relationship i wanted if it worked out. and i think that was crucial to the wooing; there’s a lot to be said for flirting and grand gestures, and there’s also a lot to be said for inviting someone to know you, and being open enough that they can just see how much you like them. for cultivating a dynamic where all your joy can readily and easily be shared.
#also i make her laugh. sometimes unintentionally#i think this is also an excellent wooing strategy#asks#❤️
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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Me, as I'm about to start playing coral island: I don't know who I'm going to marry in this game. Mark caught my attention right away but I want to get to know the characters better before I make my decision, maybe I'll like someone more than him :)
Me, three seconds into the game, running around the island: WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S MARK? BRING ME MY FUTURE HUSBAND!!
#coral island#the way I'm simping for that man#to be fair he is like a video game version of my bf when it comes to looks and body type so it's no wonder i like him so much#but rafael is low-key stealing my attention by being an absolute adorable cutie#and Raj with his coffee hyper fixation like yeees babe tell me more about what kinds coffee grinder is the best *hearteyes*#but also the ladies!!! chaem is so mean to me and im like yes please do it more#Aaliyah is so freaking cute too I just need to get to know her better#aaaaaa and macy!!! shes so sweet omg and so cute#this game is a bisexuals nightmare how am i supposed to pick just one person to marry 😭
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Listen. Listen I get the hype and thirst for Miguel O'Hara okay? I get it. BUT THE WAY I WOULD FOLD FOR HOBIE BROWN I SWEAR TO GOD. I would make lawn chairs jealous. Wet paper towels would have nothing on me. Origami would wish it could do what I would do. The unholy things I want that man to do to me would get me banned from church. I apologize in advance for the person I will become once ATSV gets released on demand. Hobie and Miguel had no reason to be that fine but if I don't see more people simping for Spiderpunk I will be DISAPPOINTED he was TOO GODDAMN PRETTY for you guys not to jump on that.
#miguel ohara#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#ONE VERY GOOD MOVIE#10/10#I enjoyed the hell out of it#But my god the way I nearly lost it when Hobie pulled off his mask#LISTEN#HIS SPIDERVERSE LOOK IS AN UPGRADE THE BOY HAS ALWAYS BEEN FINE#BUT SPIDERVERSE FELT LIKE A PERSONAL ATTACK#please he is just#so pretty and important to me#He was so real for the entire movie the absolute BEST#If anyone needs me I will be CRYING over how good it was#THAT FUCKING PLOT TWIST THOUGH#I NEVER THOUGHT THEYD DO IT#BUT THEY DID AND I AM LIVING FOR IT
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you ever have a fic get you in such a chokehold you start pacing your room and talking to yourself
#THIS FIC WAS WRITTEN FOR ME SPECIFICALLY#BURN IT ALL DOWN BY DOROTHYCANFLY ON AO3 THIS IS GENUINELY ONE OF MY TOP 5 FICS OF ALL TIME EVER#IT'S GOT THE BEST DABI CHARACTERISATION IVE EVER COME ACROSS IT'S GOT REALLY WELL WRITTEN DABIHAWKS#THAT FITS BOTH OF THEM LIKE THEY'RE MEAN AS HELL ABOUT IT AT FIRST#IT'S GOT STUPIDLY DEVOTED TOUYA-SHOUTO IT'S GOT PROTECTIVE BIG BROTHER TOUYA#IT'S GOT MENTAL ANGST WRITTEN LIKE A DREAM THE WRITING IN GENERAL IS INSANE#IT'S ACTION PACKED BUT DONE WELL SO THAT IT'S NOT TEDIOUS IT'S FUNNY IT'S GOT TWISTS#IT'S KEEPING ME ON MY TOES I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S COMING OR HOW FAR THE AUTHOR IS WILLING TO GO#IVE LITERALLY READ 300K WORDS IN TWO DAYS AT THIS POINT LIKE I AM ABSOLUTELY FINISHING THIS TONIGHT#WHAT THE FUCK EVEN AM I GONNA DO WITH MYSELF AFTER THIS#EVERY NEW THING THAT HAPPENS LITERALLY HAS ME GETTING UP TO PACE ABOUT#I CLOCKED OUT OF MY MUM TELLING ME OFF EARLIER BC I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS FIC#DO U KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THAT IS BASO JUST SIGNED MY DEATH WARRANT BUT I DIDNT CARE#losing my goddamn mind respectfully <3 if anyone has read this pls yell with me about it#and if anyone knows mha and wants a fic rec PLEASE let it be this one it's my fav mha fic ever and ive read A LOT#it gets quite smutty in the middle but if that's not ur thing the author tws very well and u can kinda just scroll#so that u still get the important character developments without it being just pure smut lol#god this FIC. holding it in my fucking fist and squeezing the everloving life out of it im going INSANE#i cant remember the last time a fic got me this way im literally giggling about it all#HE FOUND A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN THEY TOOK THIS MANGLED BLOODY BOY AND SAID WE LOVE YOU#YOU ARE GOOD YOU CAN STAY YOU CAN REST NOW WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND HE CHOSE THEM! HE CHOSE THEM!#OVER HIS REVENGE AND HIS RAGE HE CHOSE THEM! IM GOING TO BE VIOLENTLY SICK#like the author LETS DABI BE A CUNT. the first chunk of the fic he's actively not a good person#and his coping mechanisms are shot to shit and we WATCH HIM GROW FROM THAT i have cried several times over the most mundane shit#goddddddddDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAKSJFJKAGSFIUAHGJKAKG#mha#fic rec
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