#i am being very normal and not vibrating out of my skin at work

[revolutionarygold]

In just ONE DAY!! my fic (with stunning art from @noughticalcrossings !!) for @theterrorbigbang will go live, so here's a snippet from my phone drafts that didn't make it into the fic as a teaser!

The Ao3 collection for this year's Bang can be found here and is full of some really excellent fic! You should check it out!

[nkogneatho]

"𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊"

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊

—cw: lactation kink, mentions of pregnancy, dirty, nasty, depraved stuff, vaginal sex, period oral mention, monsterfucking in kuna's (sukuna's is way too dirty), dry humping, drinking breast milk obv, not proofread (this is too long and i have an event tomorrow)

—a/n: i have officially lost it. is it obvious i have lost it? idk if this is the best or the worst thing you will ever read but this is very depraved and nasty. like...aaaaaaaaaahh okay i am normal. i put my big titties non existent breast milk into this so please read it all and i hope you enjoy.

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

— satoru is the man who is always up for something new. especially, if it involves pleasing you because he's a good husband and that's good what husbands do. he knows how to pull out the naughty parts out of you, but he had to work his way up.

"I am just saying. It helps. Believe me," your husband was arguing with you.

"Cut it out, Toru. I am not letting you suck my boobs."

"But why?"

"Because it's gross and weird." The moment those words left your mouth, he audibly gasped.

"Did you just call our baby's food gross?" You rolled your eyes. He's always like this. It's not like you weren't curious of his reaction when he does taste you, you were just scared that he'd be disgusted. Plus the post pregnancy hormones are worst as they make you emotional over the silliest things.

"Please, baby? Just this one time. I'll be a good boy I promise." You hate when he addresses himself as if he's an angel. He is a mischievous devil inside. But rather than having him pester you for the rest of the night and ruin your hard earned sleep (since your baby's cries always wakes you up) You thought maybe let him and just get it over with...

"mmph ffhuck." His moans vibrated through your skin, "mhmm god ywo twaste shwo good." The moment he said that, all the insecurity left your body, and heat forming between your legs.

"Ngh—toru..." you felt so embarrassed—so dirty when his eyes locked with you. Your lashes fluttered and you looked away but you swore you could feel him smiling on your nipples. Your husband really digs out the emotions you never thought existed within you.

He was pressing them together, playing like he had just found a new toy. You had never seen so much amusement in those blue eyes as much as of now. Bright pink tongue lolling out to taste the squirting liquid when he squeezed both your breasts together.

"Feels good, right baby? ah!" *slurp* He wiped the dripping milk at the end of his lips with his tongue, and you couldn't process. You felt so wet. And he knew you very well. After all, you've been together for so many years.

"Lay down baby. I'll fuck you while I drink you." You never thought you'd ever hear that sentence but there it was.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

— toji has always been an experienced man. he has definitely tried a lot of things. but there's always areas to expand knowledge and new things to learn. he wouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable but he knew the person he was marrying wasn't ordinary. you, deep down, were just very dirty like him.

You had your legs stretched on the sofa, upper body resting on your husband's lap. Since you guys had a baby, it was very rare for you rest. Being a parent is the best thing in the world but it also feels worse than a 9to5 sometimes. Today was a good day though. Your boy was sleeping soundly and you had some quality time to spend with each other. Well, it's hard to go on a date at this time, but you both were just happy to be in each other's presence.

Toji was mindlessly flipping through some channels after he got bored halfway through that one movie he was watching. His emerald eyes fell on your ipad screen where you were scrolling through what seemed like a baby product websites.

"I thought we had bought everything for little gumi." You looked up at him then back to the screen.

"Oh this isn't for gumi bear. This is for me. These are called breast shells."

"What? Show me." He took the ipad from you and carefully observed the product you were supposedly buying. "So what is this a fashion accessory for mommies now?"

"Hehehe," you giggled. "No, baby. My breast oversupplies sometimes and it ruins my dress. They prevent that." You watched him as he sat there in silence, poking his tongue inside his mouth. Within two seconds, he flipped you on the sofa, and gently climbed on you.

"Why are you buying that shitty thing when I am right here?"

"Toji, what do y—OH MY GOD!" he pulled out both your breast pretty quickly, all thanks to your maternity clothes. He knew you won't stop him. He knew you would get wet when he'd do that. And he was right on the money. He started sucking so hard, you felt...foreign. He had sucked them a hundred times before but watching him flick your nipples with his tongue and the milk trailing down, fusing with the tastebuds until it goes transparent and his adam's apple bobs when he gulps it. fuck.

Toji's obvious boner grinds against your heat as he suckled on those pretty tits. The wet patch on your panties were now staining his grey bottoms too.

"Overflowing down there too, mama? Hmph," he chuckled. You were to focused on the feeling of his lips on your nipples that you forgot to see his right hand moving down to cup your heat.

"Ngh—twoji," you mewled.

"Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of you." Thick fingers circled your wet clit, "Ya don't need those shells or whateva when i am right here." He is a great husband. He even saved you so much money that you were gonna spend on those silicones.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

—suguru worships you. it isn't obvious but you can feel his devotion towards you. the way his droopy eyes lights up when they fall on you, or his ears turn red when you kiss him. he loves how you take him in, struggling a little at first because he is girthy and a bit long, but when he bottoms out, you finally exhale and relax your walls around him. holy shit. he loves it. but this time, something different struck his curiosity.

"fuck. you sure we can do this baby?" He asked.

"'s okay, sugu. doc said we had to wait like six weeks and it's been three months." You were so busy in your post pregnancy life that you barely got time for just each other. You hadn't even kissed properly in months. "plus," you reached for his cock, "i need you." Those last words came off as a whine. You needed him and who is he to deny you off your pleasure.

You were on top of him as you positioned his boner to your entrance. He watched as your cunt swallowed him. This time, not struggling as much. Thanks to dilation.

"anh! suguuu~ mhmm missed your cock." You moaned so beautifully, he found himself falling in love over and over again. Yet, something was different. Normally, his eyes would focus down on how you well you take him as you ride it, but today he had found something rather more interesting. Your big tits bumped against his face and he couldn't take his eyes of those nipples. Those glistening nipples. He could see droplets of milk settling and honestly, they looked so fucking tempting. He let his intrusive thoughts win as you felt a warm sensation on your boobs.

"haaa—fuck. sugu, mhmm—no, it's gross" He didn't reply. He didn't need to. Pretending he didn't hear that was just right. Why would you even think anything about you is gross. He would kiss the soil you walked on.

"so fucking sweet. my sweet girl." *sucksucksuck* "these are f'me too, right? these were made f'me. hmm...sweet *suck* fucking *suck* girl.

congratulations. you just unlocked his new kink.

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

—nanami is a gentke lover. we all know that. he is only mean in bed if you ask him too. that alone needs a lot of convincing because he is scared of hurting you. he is not too kinky but you can't say he's completely vanilla. he enjoys wrapping a tie around wrist as be eats you out. he also found himself getting hard when you called him "daddy." So yeah, he is a little kinky. But not in a million years Nanami Kento would've thought he would get hard watching you wipe the excess milk off your breasts.

"So i just put her down to sleep," you walked out of the baby room, with your left tit out, wiping it with a napkin. "What do you want for lunch—Kento?" He immediately broke the staring contest he was having with your boobs and looked at you.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Is everything alright? Is there something on my breasts?"

"Yes—I mean no. of course not." It was rare to hear panic in his voice which only made you mroe curious. You walked closer to him, hsi breath heavier than usual.

"What's wrong, Ken? Talk to me." shit shit shit. you were too close. he could feel your wet boobs rubbing against his cyan blue shirt. If you got any closer, you would loathe him for having a boner for such thing. He was ashamed of himself.

"Why are you looking away, baby? Do you not like me anymore?" Fuck. You're so stupid. Not like you? That man is in love with you so much. He cannot contain himself. You tried to get closer but he tripped on the foot of the couch and felk on it upright, and you on top of him.

oh.

OH.

You could feel it between your legs. You didn't even kiss him and it's not like you were seducing him earlier so you connected the dots pretty quickly on why he was hard.

"hmm hmm" you giggled. "is this what makes you hard you, ken? my lactating tits?"

"don't say it out loud, please." it was so fun seeing him all flustered. you adjusted yourself on top him as you thought of something very dirty.

"wanna taste? i know you're curious." he hesitated a bit, but a man like him can only go so high with his walls before he breaks them and let's his wife take control.

He started off with a few licks, testing his feet into the water. It was sweet with a hint of tanginess. The moment he felt it squirting a lot when he sucked, he fell in love. He acted like a kid who had just discovered magic. You chuckled between your heavy moans as you witnessed him trying to fit in your tits in his mouth as much as he can. You start grinding on him and it only makes him more desperate. He taps your thighs, a cue to pull your dress up and throw it in the floor. You watch as he hungrily latches his lips on your nipples quickly again. Your dress was not even off your arms yet. Nanami had discovered his obsession when he watched you squeeze you tits to squirt your milk on him.

𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

—sukuna didn't even think it was possible for him to have a child as him being a curse and you being a human but here you were. he was in love with you. maybe his expression for love was different than others, but you felt it. be wasn't an embodiment of rage, but rather an overflowing confidence in his skills. That's where the cockiness came from. Existing for over a 1000 years, he thought he had experienced everything. Well...he was wrong.

"So...you just out this device on your chest and it gathers your milk?"

"Yes. It's called a "breast pump" and not a device," his vocabulary according to the new era was still weak but he was working on it.

When you detached the the vaccum of the breast pump from your boobs, Sukuna's eyes were fixated on them. He loved your tits. He had his fair share of biting and sucking on them till they were sore, but today they looked so plumped and so...succulent??

"What are you staring at? You want to drink it too or what?" You joked as you closed the lid of the bottle.

"Yes." You stared at him. Two minutes of complete shock snd silence.

"What?"

"What? You said if I want to drink it, and I answered."

"Yeah but—"

"Be a good wife, my little human. Good wives obey their husband's wishes." (Please let the feminist in you shut up for a sec and enjoy cuz i know he'd say smtg like this)

"Kuna...I don't know. It's nasty, y'know?"

"I think you're forgetting that I am a monster, baby. I ate you out during your those days of the month. This is less dirty." He yaps a lot someone shit him up before I die from embarrassment.

Sukuna laid you on the bed gently after getting you undressed. For the first time in so.many years, you were feeling shy again in front of him. It was quite an amusing sight to enjoy for him. He summoned a mouth on both his palm and licked your nipples. He wasn't sucking yet, but the hint of sweetness still laced his tastebuds.

"I am going to squeeze your breasts in my mouth now, okay?" Why did he feel the need to announce it? Weren't you already so flustered?

The tongues on his palm licked the skin of your tits before squeezing it when his mouth crashed against your nipples, spraying the milk. Sukuna sometimes forget you're a human. You're delicate unlike. The strong force of the suction made you whine and moan so loudly, it vibrated through the walls of the bedroom.

"mhmm I did not know my beloved wife enjoyed such depraved acts," he smirked when his thighs brushed against your bare pussy. you were dripping wet.

"Don't worry, little one. Let me please you. Hope you have pumped out enough in that bottle of yours. Because, I am going to milk you dry today."

taglist: @aztecbrujeria @sachiyoh @hellkaiserinphoenix @his-saiko @kokonoiscoconut @numbinyourchest @shewritesallnight @valiantmilkshakekoala @oreo-creampie @kutabaka @gojoxxluv @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @chronic-claire-universe @katsukichu @shutyourwhoremouthbecky @mostlyhornyandsad @leelee-66 @stargirlstabber

[waves-against-a-cliff]

Kink negations and make it sexy

Free use and somnophilia with Ghost would go so hard. Imagine this:

Getting home from a day at work, normally you're exhausted. Absolutely ready to collapse into the bed with your boyfriend and sleep until your alarm goes off. But sometimes you aren't worn out.

Sometimes you feel like you're bouncing off the walls with energy.

After he kept being woken up by you playing with yourself (you didn't want to bother him, he works so hard and gets very little sleep out in the field) he sits you down to talk.

"You don't have ta keep usin' your toys sweetheart," he says and chuckles when he sees the confused look on your face. "When you're all pent up," his big hands come to rest on your hips and pull you into his lap, your thighs spread wide to accommodate his own, "you can just use me."

You gnawed on your bottom lip, one part of you wanted to accept immediately. Being able to fuck your super hot boyfriend instead of using your fingers or vibrator? Hell yeah. But the other part of you spoke logic.

You knew some of his past. Of how he endured SA and your heart squeezed a little at the thought that he trusts you this much. While you kept mulling his offer over his hands crept under your shirt and he pulled you out of your head when his fingers brushed over your nipples.

You jerked back a little and looked up into his brown eyes. "Simon-"

"What is it? Do you not want it?" He asked as he squeezed and massaged your tits within his hands, pinching and rolling your nipples in between his fingers.

"I-" a breathy moan escapes and you squeeze your thighs around his own, "this isn't fair," you complain. He just hummed and looked at you with anticipation while a whine clawed up your throat from his awful teasing. "What if-" another whine, "how am I supposed to know if you don't want it?" You managed to eek out.

He paused for just a moment and rolled your nipples absentmindedly as your hips jerked against your own will. "You know how I sometimes sleep without pants on?" He asked and one of his hands wandered away from your sore nipple and down into your pants. His fingers circled over your clothes clit and he had a spark of humor in his eyes when your hips rolled to meet his movements.

You nodded and mumbled out a "Yeah."

"If I don't want it then I'll wear my pants to bed," he pushed your wet panties to the side and dipped his fingers low to gather your slick onto them before he moved them back up to circle your clit with more lube. "Okay?"

You nodded, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you bucked your hips against his fingers as the warmth that had begun to build within your lower abdomen started to spread to all of your limbs.

Your orgasm was not violent, it was gently and softly pulled forward and over you, like being tucked in after a long day. A series of shaky moans and your entire body going ridged from the pleasure that gently rolled in like a calm tide all while he whispered praise into your ear and mumbled it into the skin of your neck as he littered kisses.

A couple nights later you come home, energy still buzzed within your veins and you hardly even thought about your boyfriends offer until you wandered into the bedroom. You had stripped while walking towards the comfort of your bed with the plan of getting off with your fingers again until you saw his pale ass. Then you recalled all that he had said and negotiated.

With a shaky hand you turned him over onto his back, grateful for how he seemed to absolutely die whenever he slept at home with you. Sure enough, he was absolutely naked and his dick was already hard like it had been waiting for you.

You licked your lips and slipped your panties off, testing just how wet you were with your fingers. You weren't surprised to feel that slick had begun at just the sight of Simon. It really was unfair how he got your body Pavlov'd to react.

You swung your hips over his and settled down. His cock nestled between the folds of your cunt as began to grind against his hardened length. You bit down on your bottom lip to keep quiet as the tip of his cock kissed your clit over and over again, sending sparks up your spine.

You rolled your hips until you were sure your own slick coated his cock and you were on the precipice of an orgasm from just humping against his cock like an animal in heat. You sat up on your knees as your hand wrapped around his cock and lined yourself up with him.

When you felt the tip notch against the entrance to your weeping pussy you shuddered a little. You looked down at your still sleeping boyfriend, Simon completely unaware his body was being used for this.

You couldn't deny the thrill it gave you.

Taking Simon's cock was always, always, a challenge. No amount of prep seemed to remove the stretch completely and you hadn't even done anything to stretch yourself out for him.

You bit down on your lower lip harder as you sank slowly, oh so slowly, onto his cock. Each inch was a bit of a challenge as you rolled your hips and lifted yourself up and lowered yourself back down to ease onto it.

Heat prickled up your spine when you finally sat flush against his hips, your chest heaved from the effort and the burn of the stretch.

You rolled your hips, testing the waters, and couldn't hold back the soft moan that left your lips. You kept watching his face as his brows pinched together as you rolled your hips a second time and then a third until you found a rhythm that made pleasure claw at your insides.

Each movement shoved you closer to the edge, faster than you would have with just your fingers.

Still you kept your eyes locked onto his face, even while you let out soft moans and clenched around his cock. It wasn't until your orgasm slammed into you with full force, when your pussy began to pulse around his cock, did he finally wake up.

And god he could have sworn he was in heaven. He woke up to sight of your face mid orgasm and the feeling of you cumming around his cock. His hands immediately found your hips on instinct and he bucked up.

You squealed and landed against his chest, your hands on his pecs as he bucked up into you. "Such a pretty girl," he muttered. At the same time his tongue felt so heavy from sleep but loose from his pleasure. "Wakin' me up in the best way," he murmured as your moans filled the room, punched out with each thrust of his hips.

"Simon," you moaned and his stomach clenched at just how fucked out you sounded.

"Yeah tha's right, moan my name baby," he encouraged as he picked up the pace, selfishly seeking his own orgasm.

You repeated his name like a mantra, your nails dug into his pecs as he spilled inside you with a groan. He pushed himself to the verge of painful overstimulation as he kept fucking his cock into you even while his cum dripped out.

For a moment you both laid there breathless and in the afterglow of your own orgasms. Then a smile spread across your face and you looked up at Simon who wore a similar expression. "Thank you," you whispered while he dragged his hands up and down your naked form slowly in a soothing fashion.

[heli-writes]

Heartbreak and other nuisances

Pairing: Pro-hero!Deku x female!reader

Summary: Love is never easy, especially when you're the number one hero of Japan. After getting dumped by his childhood love, Deku just can't seem to get it right, much to his mother's disappointment. When he meets y/n, he is convinced it will just be a one-night stand. Or being fuck buddies. His broken heart stands in his way. And you've got your own demons to fight.

Disclaimer: nsfw, smut, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, angst, heartbreak, bisexuality

[Please don't read if you are sensible to or triggered by the topics mentioned above.]

Minors do not interact.

Note: It's very long. This might become a series later but for now can be read as a one-shot.

Part 1, Part 2

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Deku watches the skyline of Musutafu and tries to ignore the ringing of his phone. His patrolling shift ended a few hours ago But he can't bring himself to go home to his empty apartment.

His phone keeps disrupting the silent piece of the rooftop he is sitting on. He sighs and rubs his temple. It's probably his mother or one of his friends bugging him to go out with them.

Digging through the pockets of his hero suit, he eventually finds the ringing device. Two missed calls from his mom, three text messages from Kirishima and Denki and an email from his PR manager. He decides to check his voicemail first.

"Hey it's mum again, you haven't picked up the phone after my last few calls. So I tried again. I was just wondering if you'd like to come over on Saturday for a nice dinner with me and Toshinori. You don't have to of course but I'd be looking forward to seeing you again. Anyways, just give me a call when you have time to check your messages.", his mother's voice comes out of the phone.

He sighs and types in a quick reply.

> Hey, mom! Got your message. Sorry for not calling you back, work's a lot at the moment. Thanks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.

His mother answers immediately.

>> Are you sure? You really should take a break from time to time. We're worried about you.

Izuku stares at the screen and pulls at his lip in thought. Just when he's about to give his mother a cheap excuse, another message pops up.

>> Yo, are you in on Saturday or not?

He opens the chat and reads that Kirishima and Denki invited him to a concert on Saturday. Then, he opens the chat with his mom again.

> Don't worry about me, mom. Actually, I can't come on Saturday because I am going to a concert with Kirishima and Denki.

>> A concert? Honey, that's nice. Have fun then!

Izuku sighs in relief. Another worried talk with his family was avoided. He's sure that he cannot stand another "A hero must have a balanced life"-talk by Yagi.

He quickly responds to Kirishima's message before putting the phone away and starting his way home.

~*~*~*~

The jeans feel uncomfortable, Izuku decides. All in all, his hero costume is a lot more comfortable than his normal clothes these days. He wears it like a second skin. Sometimes he forgets to put it off when he comes home.

His phone vibrates.

>> We're downstairs. You comin'?

He quickly puts his phone into his back pocket and grabs his key and wallet.

~*~*~*~

"I swear to god, that were the finest pair of boobs, I've ever seen!", Denki ends his dramatic story of a girl he slept with last weekend.

"It's probably the only pair of boobs you've ever seen.", Kirishima comments jokingly.

Denki immediately starts to go on a rent about all the boobs he's ever seen but Kirishima ignores him and turns to Izuku.

"So, how are you, Izuku? Haven't heard from you for a while. Didn't think you'd actually come out with us tonight.", he asks him.

Izuku shrugs.

"Same old, same old.", he answers vaguely. "Is Kachaan joining us?", he quickly tries to change the topic.

"Nah, he's busy with his girlfriend. Dude's probably spending all day and night in bed fucking.", Denki says.

Izuku feels his stomach drop. Of course, he knows about Kachaan's girlfriend. They're together for little over half a year now and the press writes about them every other day. However, he kind of hoped that Katsuki would grow tired of her eventually. After all, the only person he had ever been with for longer than six months was Izuku.

Kirishima rolls his eyes. "Denki, is sex the only thing you ever think about?", he asks annoyed. Denki gives him a smug expression. "I'm young, single, and hot. Of course, it is.", he answers.

"Talking about sex, Izuku when was the last time you got some?", Denki asks his friend nonchalantly.

Izuku furrows his brows. He actually has to think about this. He had sex after Kachaan but all these hookups were meaningless so eventually he gave them up.

"Actually, I don't know.", he replies truthfully.

Kirishima pats his back. "You don't have to tell us, buddy. But remember, we're not the press. You don't have to save face around us.", he tells Izuku.

Denkis starts laughing. "Dude, I think he's being honest. Damn, then you really need to get some tonight! But don't worry, I got ya. There are plenty of hot chicks at the club I am taking you to!", he exclaims, "Let's go!"

~*~*~*~

Turns out, the club is some kind of old, rundown pub at the end of town. Part of Izuku is glad Denki took them to a place like this. It's less likely to be found by paparazzi around here. Then again, it probably also wouldn't be good to be found by the press in a place like this.

Both Denki and Kirishima don't seem to care about that when they enter the place. There's a small stage at the end of the wide room. The banner over the stage indicates that some kind of rock band will be playing soon.

The trio makes their way to the bar first. After they've gotten their drinks, they find a corner to stand in and watch the crowd. It doesn't take Denki long to choose a chick for the night and he takes off to try his luck.

"So, how are you doing? I mean really? Don't give me a half-assed answer this time.", Kirishima asks.

Izuku takes a long drag from his beer. "Been telling you, I'm fine. Work's a lot but not surprising with our profession and status.", he mumbles just loud enough for Kirishima to hear.

Kirishima gives him a worried side glance. "You know that you don't have to carry this weight alone, do you?", he points out.

"Yeah, I know."

Izuku stares into his glass. He's not sure how or if he should make his friends understand that it's not work that lies heavy on his mind.

The truth is that the grand hero Deku is lonely. Simple as that.

He thought he found somebody special in Kacchan only to find out that it was nothing special to the explosion hero. Just something to pass the time until he found someone more fitting, someone more socially acceptable.

Izuku takes another drag from his glass when the lights suddenly dimmed. "I think the show is about to start.", Kirishima points out. "Wanna get closer to the stage?", he asks and Izuku just nods in response.

The two of them walk deeper into the small crowd that is forming. Somewhere in between the people, Izuku sees Denki's blonde hair light up.

A punk rock band enters the stage. "You know them?", Izuku asks his friend. Kirishima nods excitedly. "Yeah, they're pretty underground though. They're really cool. Katsuki introduced them to me!", he tells the green-haired men.

Blaring music starts and Izuku immediately knows that this is not his kind of music. He likes rock music but more classic hard rock like AC/DC. He can see though how this is right up Katsuki's alleyway.

Memories of loud punk music blaring out of speakers in Katsuki's bedroom flash before his eyes. He remembers the layers of sweat on his skin and the taste of Katsuki on his lips.

Suddenly, he feels nauseous.

"Hey, I'm getting another drink!", he yells over to Kirishima who already headbangs to the music.

Izuku makes his way over to the bar pushing through the masses of bodies. He starts to feel really uncomfortable. It's too loud, too hot, too stuffy.

When he reaches the bar, it takes a while to place his order. When he gets his drink, he stays at the bar. He's not too keen on throwing himself onto the dance floor again.

People squeeze past him left and right to get to the bar and get drinks. Uncomfortably, he tries to shift out of their way. Suddenly he bumps into someone with his back and cold liquid drenches his shirt.

"Gosh, I'm so sorry!", a female voice says behind him.

He turns around and then there's you.

You wear a short cocktail dress that compliments your cleavage. Your (y/h/c) hair is styled perfectly. Only your makeup looks a bit cakey, probably due to the high humidity in the pub you're standing in but Izuku doesn't even notice it.

"Don't worry, it's fine.", he mumbles and tries to turn away. He really doesn't want to get recognized. Especially not over a spilled drink.

"Are you sure?", you ask unsure but before you can say anything more, the man in front of you disappears into the crowd.

You watch him disappear in the direction of the toilets. You turn towards the bartender. "Excuse me, can I order what he had?", you yell over the music.

*~*~*~*

Izuku grips the sides of the sink. He splashes water into his face and looks at his drenched shirt. Luckily, it can be mistaken for sweat.

He would like to hole up in one of these toilet cabins. He really doesn't want to get back out there. Everybody out there seems to have a great time and he feels lost in the crowd.

Kirishima is probably already looking for him. The red-haired man already suspects that Izuku is not doing too well. He takes another deep breath before pushing himself off the sink and turning towards the door.

"Hey!", a voice says right next to him when he's out of the door. It's you again. You're holding two glasses of rum coke.

"For you. As a sorry for spilling my drink on you earlier.", you tell him and offer him one of the drinks.

Great, he thinks, a groupie trying to get my attention.

"Thanks", he tells her and takes one of the glasses. She gives him a curt nod.

"See you around", you tell him and turn around to leave.

Izuku stares after you. Did you not recognize him or are you not interested in him? Why does he feel slightly insulted?

"Hey, man, there you are. We were already wondering if you picked up a chick and left us behind!", Kirishima jokes and pats his shoulder.

*~*~*~*

"Izuku, are you coming over this weekend? We'd really like to see you again.", his mother says over the phone.

"You know, mom, I'm really busy. I don't know if I can make it.", he tells her trying to avoid the inevitable.

"Then we come over and I cook you a nice meal. I still have the spare key to your apartment.", his mother proposes gleefully.

Izuku rubs his temple. He really doesn't want his mother and Yagi to sniff around in his apartment. There's still a box of Kacchan's stuff under his bed.

"Alright, mom, I'm coming over for dinner, okay?", he gives in.

"Yes, honey, that's great. We're looking forward to seeing you.", his mother tells him contentedly.

After hanging up, Izuku rubs the sides of his head and sighs deeply. He is not looking forward to this.

*~*~*~*

"Izuku, we're so glad that you could make it!", his mother chirps and immediately hugs him upon opening the door. Yagi pats him on the back.

They go easy on him during dinner. Asking polite questions about work and his friends. His mother pries a little bit too much on what Uraraka is doing lately for Izuku's taste.

After dinner, over a cup of tea, is when the real deal starts. Izuku notices his mother and Yagi changing a meaningful glance, probably a code that now it's time to torture him.

"So... honey, how's life besides work? Anything new?", his mother asks carefully.

Izuku avoids eye contact. "Not really, I guess.", he shrugs.

"I hope you don't work too long hours, my boy.", Yagi says.

Izuku shrugs again. "Well, you know what the job is like.", he tells the older man.

"Of course, of course... it just seems as if you are really pushing yourself lately.", Yagi replies.

"We're just a bit worried about you. We never see you anymore, you barely seem to go out with your friends anymore.", his mother adds.

"I went out with Kirishima and Denki last week.", Izuku tries to defend himself half-heartedly.

"And we were really happy to hear that. It's just that you seem to go out less and less.", his mother points out.

"That's not true.", Izuku starts to get irritated, "Actually I am going out again tonight."

"Oh really, with whom?", his mother shoots back. She sees right through him.

"With Denki.", Izuku says without batting an eye. Denki is probably out tonight anyway.

"That's wonderful, Izuku! How about we drive you? Then you can have a drink or two. You came here by car, didn't you?", his mother smiles. Izuku thinks it's a bit fake. It's probably because she knows he is lying to her.

"That'd be great.", he lies, "Let me check where I am supposed to meet Denki."

He pulls out his phone.

> Hey, are you out tonight? Mind if I join?

Denki answers within seconds.

>> Hell, yeah! I'm already out, just come around!

Denki writes and sends his location.

*~*~*~*

Yagi ends up driving him. Izuku feels like a teenager who is driven to a party by one of his parents.

"You know, your mother is just worried about you.", Yagi says into the silence of the car.

"I know but she really shouldn't. I'm fine.", he tells him.

"It's just that she sees the children of her friends and worries you might not have the same opportunities.", Yagi carefully says.

"What do you mean?", Izuku asks irritatedly.

"Well you know, they get married, have children. Mitsuki's been telling how Katsuki brings over his girlfriend. They plan to move in together.", Yagi explains.

Izuku's stomach plummets. They plan to move in together? There goes any hope of reconciliation.

When Izuku doesn't answer, Yagi mistakes his silence for shame.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with being single while you're young. I mean, I've been single for most of my career, but I've got to be honest with you. I regret not having children on my own and while I am very happy with your mother, I wished I had someone to share my pain and happiness when I was younger.", Yagi explains.

Izuku isn't sure what to say. I'd like a partner but he doesn't want me? I can't move on? Even if I could, I probably have no game?

"We both just wish you'd meet someone special.", Yagi finishes as he pulls up to the bar where Izuku meets Denki.

"Well, one does not really have control over that.", Izuku says flatly and gets out of the car.

*~*~*~*

"Izukuuu!! Over here!!", Denki's shrill voice rings through the entire bar. His arms are wrapped around a woman on each of his sides. The girls giggle.

Izuku would like to walk out backward again but there us no turning back now.

"Hey", he greets his blonde friend.

"My man! Was surprised to hear from you!", Denki greets him.

"Anybody else joining tonight?", Izuku asks and Denki shakes his head.

Great, now he can spend the rest of the night watching Deki flirt with random girls.

One of the girls by Denki's side gives Izuku coy eyes. "So, are you Deku? Denki's been telling us about you.", she asks him.

Izuku shoots his friend an angry glare and Denki shrugs apologetically.

"I don't know what he's been telling you, but I can assure you very little that he says is actually true.", Izuku replies dryly.

Before the girl can ask any more questions, Izuku excuses himself to order a drink at the bar.

"A scotch, please.", he tells the bartender without paying too much attention to the other guests.

"Oh, look who we've got here. Are you stalking me, mister?", a voice says next to him.

There you are, again. Your hair hangs loosely over your shoulder and you pop a few peanuts into your mouth.

"Oh, it's you.", Izuku simply says.

"Charming.", you commented dryly.

You look him up and down.

"Why are you dressed like that?", you ask him.

Irritatedly, Izuku turns fully towards you.

"What do you mean?", he says offendedly.

"You look like you were invited to dinner by your girlfriend's parents for the first time", you say pointing at his white button-down shirt.

"I don't have a girlfriend.", he informs you.

You give him a toothy grin. "Good. You're cute.", you tell him.

Izuku shifts uncomfortably. He hates it when women look at him like that. Like he's meat.

"Sorry, I don't do casual dating.", he replies.

"Too bad", you shrug, "What are you doing then?".

"None of your business", he says coldly.

You pursue your lips. "Damn, who hurt you?", you joke.

Izuku doesn't like how you seem to see things no one else does.

"I just have different priorities.", he says.

You take a sip from your drink. "I bet.", you reply.

Finally, the bartender comes back with his drink.

Without another word, he turns to leave.

"See you around, I guess.", he hears you mumble behind him.

He's not sure why he was so rude to you. You didn't do anything wrong. You shot your shoot and took the rejection in good sport. He didn't need to be so mean.

He's not even sure why he rejected you. You look gorgeous just like last time. Your outfit compliments your natural curves and your makeup really made your eye color pop. Usually, you're totally his type. He's just really not in the mood tonight.

He spends the night brooding next to Kaminari. The girls by his side catch on his bad mood and don't bother him all evening.

*~*~*~*

He tries to be more outgoing. Meet friends, do stuff on the weekend. Things to send to his mother to prove he's out there, living his best life.

He's not.

Tonight, he is going out for dinner with Uraraka and Iida. He initiated the meet-up so he really has to go through with it tonight.

He arrives too early and has to wait for the two for a while. The dinner itself was quite pleasant. Iida is too polite to pry too much about his private life and well-being. And Uraraka is busy updating her two friends about her life. Apparently, she met someone through a friend and they are getting quite serious. His mom is going to hate hearing that.

After dinner, the three of them bid goodbye with the promise to meet up more often. Izuku knows that he probably won't be able to fulfill that promise.

He aimlessly wanders the streets. He doesn't want to go home yet. It's a real paradox. When he's home, he doesn't want to go out. And if he's out, he doesn't want to return to his empty apartment.

He's feeling nostalgic tonight so he decides to go to a place that Kacchan showed him when they were still a thing. Or whatever the hell they were.

It's a bar that has seen better days. It's usually quite empty besides some regulars who are twice as old as Izuku. The perfect place if you want to avoid noisy fans and the press.

Izuku slides into the bench that Kacchan and he always sat at. After he has ordered, he takes a look around. It seems as if time stopped in this place. Ironic, he thinks, it seems as if time has stopped for me as well.

Deep in thought, he doesn't notice how the door opens again.

"Daisuke, Hikaru, you here again? Don't you guys have wives at home?", a female voice says loudly.

When he looks up, he immediately wants to hide beneath the table. It's you. Again. Do you have a tracker on him or what? Why do you seem to appear everywhere he is?

Luckily, you're not looking in his direction. Instead, you talk to the middle-aged men on the other side of the room.

"And what about you, missy? What's a pretty young thing like you doing here every other night?", one of the men says. He sounds amused.

You shrug. "Well, what are you doing here? Drinking of course!", you tell them with a grin.

The other man shakes his head disapprovingly.

"You should at least drink with people your age, not old fucks like us!", he tells you.

You stretch your arms widely. "Well, you see any people my age? You old fucks keep invading this place!", you shoot back.

"Well, what about that guy?", the man answers and points directly at Izuku.

He wants to die. Great, here he hoped he could slip out again without you noticing him. He really doesn't want to talk to you. You turn around to him and your eyes light up.

"Hey, I know you! You're the stalker!", you grin.

Izuku looks offended. "I was here first!", he defends himself.

You give the waiter a sign and slide onto the bench in front of him. Great, just what he needed.

"Really? You're alone this time?", you ask him.

He curses you for being so perceptive.

He shrugs. "Maybe some people join me later.", he tells you.

The waiter walks over to the table and sets down a drink in front of you. It looks strong.

You look him straight into his eyes and say: "Liar".

Embarrassment shoots down his back. You take a sip from your drink and laugh.

"I know what lonely drinking looks like. Why do you think I am here?", you tell him.

"I don't know. You're certainly not dressed for a place like this.", he replies.

It's true. You don't look like you belong in a shabby bar like this. You're wearing a bright blue, floor-length ballgown.

You shrug. "What's it to you?", you bite back.

Oh. Izuku's eyebrows raise. He must've hit a sore spot there. Unfortunately for you, he's feeling bitchy tonight.

"Well, you look like one of those bridesmaids that are put into a terrible dress by a bridezilla.", he tells you.

Actually, it's not true. The dress looks gorgeous on you. It fits your skin color and hair updo perfectly. A sour expression appears on your face.

"I wasn't a bridesmaid. I chose the dress for myself.", you tell him.

"Ah, so you were at a wedding!", he says triumphantly. Apparently, he can read you as well as you can him.

You shrug.

"So what's with the lonely drinking then? Why pay for alcohol here when you could've just got drunk for free?", he asks.

"Staying too long at your ex's wedding is bad taste.", you tell him.

"Ah", he says and raises his glass taking a sip, "That's the reason for your lonely drinking? Still stuck on that ex?"

"Ha!", you exclaim. "Yeah, hell no. I'm glad to be rid of him. He's his wife's problem now. Thank god."

Izuku watches you closely. You stir in your drink and keep your eyes fixed on your nails. By the tone of your voice, he doesn't think you're lying. You sound bitter, though.

"Then what?", he asks.

"How old are you?", you reply.

"Twenty-eight. Don't change the topic.", he scolds you.

You shoot him a mean glance.

"I'm not changing the topic.", you tell him.

When he gives you a questioning look, you sit up straight and put your hands on the table.

"Alright, you're twenty-eight, uh...?", you start.

"Izuku", he tells you.

"You're twenty-eight, Izuku. How many of your friends and acquaintances are getting married, moving in with someone, maybe even having kids?", you ask.

"Quite a few.", he admits.

"Alright. Considering you're here, on a weekday, drinking alone, I'm guessing you're not even close to any of those things. How does it feel when someone brings that up?", you explain.

"Not good.", he replies dryly. What is it with you and catching onto things?

You throw your hands up in the air.

"Exactly! And what's the ultimate reminder of that than being invited to your ex's wedding?", you exclaim.

"So... I'm guessing you're far away from those things too?", he asks unsurely.

You give him a deadpan look. "The lonely drinking should've given it away.", you tell him.

You sigh exaggeratedly and lean back. Then, you empty your drink in one go. Izuku watches you slightly perplexed. When you slam down your glass, you give the waiter another sign.

"You know what the stupidest part of this is?", you ask him and he shakes his head.

"I don't even want those things. I'm sure I'm not even made for these things and still, somehow, it makes you feel bad, you know?", you ramble.

Izuku stays silent and takes another sip from his glass. He really doesn't know what he's doing here. Why is he talking to a stranger about things like this?

"You could ask me now what it is that I want.", you say.

Izuku rolls his eyes. "What is it that you want?", he asks.

"Good sex. That's really all I'm asking for but men these days don't deliver.", you reply exasperatedly.

Izuku almost has to laugh.

"Maybe you're just not meeting the right men then.", he tells you.

"Well, I'm meeting men like you.", you point out. There's something cat-ish about you when you say it.

"Maybe tonight is your lucky night then.", he says suddenly feeling cocky.

*~*~*~*

This was definitely not how this evening was supposed to go. He was not supposed to end up at that bar and he definitely wasn't supposed to take you home.

But here you are, on his bed, and him over you.

He already lost his shirt and you run your hands up and down his torso. His mouth is on yours, teeth and tongue clashing against each other.

He can already feel his dick getting hard.

He grabs your waist and pulls you on top of him. Without hesitation, you pull your shirt over your head and he's quick to open your bra. Quickly, you toss it to the side.

Izuku sits up a bit so that both of his hands are free to explore your boobs. Carefully, he kneads them with both hands. He kisses the side of your neck. He plants open-mouthed kisses along your neck, over your collarbone all the way down to one of your nipples. You throw your head back and sigh contently.

He runs the tip of his tongue over the hardened bud. He takes the nipple into his mouth gently sucking on it. All the while massaging it with his tongue.

You let out a moan and grind down on his hardened cock. His dick sits right at your slit. You keep grinding down on him, desperate for friction as he continues to tease your other nipple. You can feel how your panties get damp with each second.

You grab the sides of his head, forcing him to detach from your breast. You lean forward and kiss him again. Izuku runs his hands down your back and grabs your ass cheeks. Then, he helps you grind down on him. You break the kiss to let out a groan.

"Fuck, Izuku! You need to take off these pants!", you tell him.

He gives you a grin. "Same", he tells you.

Quickly, you get off of him and take off your pants and panties. When he's done taking off his pants, you both lie side by side. He pulls you close, your naked body pressing against his, and he claims your lips again.

You let your hands wander down his body. With your index finger you draw lines down his hip and thighs, avoiding his dick completely.

Izuku breaks the kiss and groans. "Don't tease!", he tells you and you laugh.

"So greedy", you nudge him but then give into his request.

Gently you wrap your hand around his hardened member. Izuku lets out a suppressed groan. You start in a slow space pumping his dick up and down. You spread the precum on it to make it feel even smoother.

Izuku plants a kiss on your shoulder and lets a hand wander between your legs. Slowly, he lets two fingers slide in between your warm folds.

"Fuck, you're so wet.", he groans. You shift a bit to give him better access, already panting.

Izuku draws lazy circles on your clit and you can feel more wetness slipping out your hole.

"Mhm, yes, Izuku that feels good.", you moan while still fisting his cock.

Izuku leans his forehead against yours. He dips his fingers a bit deeper, gathering some wetness and spreading it around your pussy.

Then, gently one of his fingers enters you and you can't help but let out a loud moan.

"That feels good, yes?", he mumbles and you nood.

Slowly he pumps his finger in and out of you.

"Shit", you curse. You long lost the ability to focus on pleasing Izuku.

He curls his finger inside you and you jerk.

"Can you take another, baby?", he says huskily and you nod.

He pulls out his finger and pushes two fingers in.

"Fuck!", you exclaim.

You lie back opening your legs wide for him. Izuku slides his fingers in and out you, occasionally curling them inside which almost sends you into a frenzy. He leans down and starts massaging your nipple with his tongue again.

Just when you feel a knot forming in your stomach, he pulls out. You whine in protest but he silences you with a kiss.

"You ready?", he asks you and you nod breathlessly.

He grabs a condom from the nightstand and quickly pushes the latex over his dick. Then, he takes one of your legs and places it over his shoulder. He sits up on his knees and grabs the hollow of your other knee pulling your legs further apart.

"Shit, your pussy looks so ready for me.", he tells you

"Who's the tease now?", you pant.

Izuku gives you a small grin. "Don't worry, I've got you.", he says.

He leads his dick to your entrance and your heart beats in anticipation. Slowly, he pushes his cock into your pussy. You both groan simultaneously in pleasure. He enters you in one swift movement. When his dick is nestled deeply inside you, he takes a deep breath.

"You okay?", he asks you and you give him a curt nod.

You jerk your hips because you're desperate for more friction. You feel so full but it's not enough. You need him to fuck you, to pound you.

"Shit, relax.", he groans when he feels your pussy clench around him.

"I've told you, I've got you. I'm gonna fuck you real good, baby", he groans into the skin of your leg.

Then, he starts rocking in and out of you. He starts with a steady pace.

"Fuck, yes, Izuku! Please, a bit harder!", you beg him.

He gives you a cheeky grin. "Harder? You can get harder.", he tells you.

He starts pounding into you in a heavy pace and you arch your back. Fuck, your pussy feels so good. His dick rubs you in all the right places.

Izuku's dick twitches at the sight of you. Your fucked expression, your jiggling breasts and god, how good looks his dick going in and out of you.

Suddenly, he lifts your other leg and lifts himself a bit higher allowing his dick to sink even deeper into your cunt.

"Shit, yes!", you yell out. Izuku keeps fucking you like this and his balls slap harshly against your ass cheeks.

Now, you can feel the knot in your stomach again.

"Keep going, Izuku, I'm getting there.", you tell him.

Izuku pants heavily above you and sweat drops down his chest. You think he's looking incredibly sexy right now. Also, you can't help but look down where is dick and your cunt are conjoined. The sight of his dick sliding in and out of you makes your stomach coil.

"Fuck, y/n, you feel so good. You make my dick feel like it's about to explode.", he tells you.

You clench your pussy and Izuku moans in delight. He grips your hips tighter and keeps fucking you now chasing his own height. His cock is hitting that sweet spot all the way back inside of you. You can feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter. You let out a breathless moan and your eyes roll back into your head.

Izuku keeps the pace hard and steady, exactly the way you need to get over the edge. When your orgasm hits you, it feels like electric shocks going down your back, your pussy clenches and then your body suddenly goes limp.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.", Izuku groans taking up speed when he sees you orgasm on his cock. He fucks you through it and his own orgasm explodes right at the feeling of your clenching pussy. He fucks himself through his own high and then collapses on top of you.

It takes a moment for both of you to regain some thinking capacities. When his consciousness returns to him, Izuku slips out of you. You're lying next to each other, both facing the ceiling catching your breath.

„And? Did I deliver?“, Izuku pants.

He can't see it but you give him a side-eye. The questions weirds you out. Does he really need to get praised? Does he need to get approval so badly? Well, it supposedly makes sense. A pro-hero depends on the praise and approval of other people. You think it's a little bit pathetic. If he hadn't fucked you already, it'd be a major turn-off.

In all honesty, though, he did deliver. It was more than just good. He clearly proved he's got the stamina of a pro-hero. However, you don't stroke men's egos. Most men have a big enough ego as it is, so why inflate it further? Plus, this guy has girls fawning at his feet and you refuse to steep down on a groupie level. No, thank you.

For a moment you think about being mean and saying something like it was „alright“ or „okay“ but you take pity on the man. He made you cum, so you shouldn't be mean. Also, you wouldn't say no to him doing it to you again. So, be nice and keep the option open.

„I'm not sure what you expect me to say.“, you tell him truthfully and Izuku looks a bit embarassed.

„I'm not gonna sing your praise, but I tell you it was good. Definitely would do it again, but I've got an 8am appointment tomorrow.“, you say a bit softer.

Izuku props himself up on his arm as he watches you look for your clothes and dress yourself. Obviously, he knew this was nothing serious but he lowkey hoped you stayed the night. He knows Katsuki's girlfriend was a one-night stand at first who then turned into something more. Maybe part of him hoped something like that would happen to him too. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be alone tonight.

When you're dressed, you turn to him.

„Alright, I better get going.“, you tell him and Izuku only nods at you.

He doesn't really know what to say. Actually, he probably just sucks at one-night stands. It's probably why none of them ever turned out to be something more for him.

„So... see you around?“, you drawl when he doesn't answer you.

Quickly, Izuku puts on one of his well-practiced smiles and nods more enthusiastically.

„Yeah, see you around. I had a good time.“, he tells you and you look relieved. At least he isn't making it more uncomfortable than these things usually are.

You give him a quick wave and turn around to leave. Izuku holds his breath until he hears his front door fall shut. With a groan, he drops back onto his pillow facefirst.

Why does he keep doing this? He should know better. He's not made for these types of flings. He doesn't even want them. Izuku is a through-and-through relationship type of guy and yet he always ends up alone at the end of the night.

Maybe he can't hold someone's attention for more than a night or maybe Kacchan just ruined him for everybody else.

*~*~*~*

You fix the position of your panties as you wait for the elevator to reach the ground level. You quickly look in the mirror. Your hair and makeup look awful. Suddenly, you're very glad you're not staying the night. Nothing would be more shameful than to walk home like this in the morning.

You rub your temple. Your plan was to take somebody home from the wedding. So that your ex would see. Maybe that was already a stupid idea. Why would he care if his ex takes somebody home on his wedding day? It's the luckiest day in his life and there's a reason why it wasn't you standing next to him in a white dress.

Actually, it's probably for the best you didn't take someone home from the wedding. Maybe he would've laughed about it and said it fits the pattern. Y/n, the mess, never taking anything seriously, always out there for a good time but not a long time. At least like this, you left with your grace intact. Also, it helps a little bit that you looked absolute bomb in this dress.

You sigh deeply. And yet, he would've been right. After all, you had nothing better to do than go find yourself a hook-up at a random bar right afterward. Poor Izuku, he made it clear last time that he wasn't interested in something like this. And yet, he ended up in your spider's web. You wonder what changed his mind. Maybe it was the dress.

When the elevator reaches the ground, you quickly exit it and walk through the lobby in an equally quick step. There's no need for anybody to see you like this. You're almost out of the door when the post boxes next to the entry catch your eye. You stop for a moment.

No, y/n, this is a stupid idea, you tell yourself. He won't text anyway. What was that about not stepping down onto a groupie level? Then again, it was a pretty good orgasm. Hell, one of the best ones you had in quite a while.

Maybe you're still horny or drunk from earlier, clouding your better judgement, but before you can stop yourself, you pushed your business card through the slit of Izuku's post box.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Please comment if you'd like to be tagged in possible future parts]

[mediocreanomaly]

Uncanny Vash HC’s (SFW)

Authors Note: I’m sweating I have so many drafts to get out so I'm going in order, I promise all your ask shall be answered let me feed the creature lovers rq tho- Uncanny Vash is funny and I like to think about weird creature boyfriend, some repeats from the cuddling HC’s because this was already in the works but suck it up buttercup

• I’ll start easy with my “Vash purr’s” propaganda because Vash 100% purrs

•Only thing is he’s not a small animal, he’s a full grown man (plant?) so his purring is a bit different, it’s pretty loud and sounds like a rumbling motor rather than a soft rattle, and often sounds like it comes from every direction. It’s a bit unnerving if you don’t know it’s him making the noise

•It’s still soothing though, especially if your laying on his chest or if he’s laying on you? Let those vibrations sooth you to sleep, Vash happy purring naps are the best

• Staying on the topic of noises, Vash can do that chattering thing cats do. He doesn’t do it unless he’s with people he’s close with but if he’s interested in something you’ll just hear “ack ack ack ack” and turn to see him laser focused on something chittering away

•Vash’s eyes do that animal reflection thing, and it’s honestly terrifying to wake up to at night and although he knows they do this he some how never comprehends how scary it is to see him looking at you in the dark

•I see it like that one south park audio: *Everyone in the dark* Meryl: “Y/N I’m starting to think this is a really bad idea” Milly: “Oh I’m not Y/N, I’m Milly! I thought you were Y/N?” Meryl: “No I’m Meryl” Wolfwood: “You’re Meryl? Where’s Y/N?” Meryl: “Who are you?” Wolfwood: “I’m Wolfwood!” Vash who’s eyes are currently glowing in the dark: “ha ha guess who I am you guys!”

•All of Vash’s proportions are just ever so slightly off, it’s a plant thing, you’ve seen his sisters. This is one that freaks people out because sometimes they notice it but can’t figure out what they are seeing

•Basically: his arms and legs are just a little too long, his fingers stretch a bit too far, his eyes are a little too big, he’s a bit too tall, all stuff that once added up are kind of hard to pick out when your looking at him as a whole, so you know something is off about this man but you just don’t know what...

•Teeth? Teeth. Vash has fangs, in fact most his back teeth starting from his canines are pretty sharp. You don’t really notice unless he yawns and you watch as all his sharp back teeth are flashed in his gaping mouth and- oh he stopped yawning don’t worry about it 

•Vash can drink water with his skin. His sisters have to live in the tanks and take in water through their skin and while Vash prefers to drink like a normal human he can totally dip his hand in anybody of water and it’ll hydrate him. It’s a party trick his does for the group and it freaks Wolfwood out when he drains a cup with his hand

•Vash frog blinks lmao. If he stares at something for too long or is really focused he’ll blink one eye and then the other, he can’t help it

•Speaking of which, Vashes eyes are triple eyelided like a crocodiles, which means he can be asleep and his eyes are wide open. It also means when he frog blinks you can see the other eye lid if you stare hard enough, scares a lot of bar goers who happen to look a bit too closely

•One time Milly had a whole conversation with Vash thinking he was awake but he was not. He was asleep. It’s that damn extra eyelid...if he’s really tired he falls asleep with his eyes open like that. It’s weird.

•He doesn’t keep body heat very well. Maybe it’s due to the fact his sisters live in water but he likes being in the sun to soak up it’s warmth (why else do you think he can wear that coat in the heat?) 

•Vash...if he’s distressed will make this noise. You’ve only heard it once when a city was destroyed and he thought you were dead but...it’s like a howl or animal in pain? It echoed through the entire desert and your body had a visceral reaction to it like it was warning you of a feral animal not to be messed with. When you had stumbled out of the rumble the noise had ended as Vash quickly scooped you up into his arms sobbing telling you never to do that again, it still keeps you up sometimes when you think about it

•Vash...somehow? blends in with his surroundings very well. It’s kind of weird, if he stands still its like...hard to see him? but it shouldn’t be, logically this man in a bright red coat should not be able to be missed but sometimes it’s like your brain forces you not to see him. He knows it freaks people out so he talks with his hands and moves a lot so it doesn't happen

•Feathers! Vash sprouts feathers. Usually it’s when he’s very content or happy although it can happen in extreme distress too. They look like normal bird feathers but they shimmer slightly and they feel weird like they’re made of hair, fern or something softer, Vash is pretty embarrassed about them but it’s super pretty

•Vash sometimes get’s places he shouldn’t be able to get to. Your motel room will be fully locked with no key and you’ll open it to see the blonde on the bed and he’ll just wave like it’s no issue. Trust me don’t ask how he got there

[karespocketboyfriends]

𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝙶𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝙳𝚘𝚠𝚗

Sylus X Evie (OC)

Warnings -> Humour, mentions of murder, Sylus getting his ass slapped, gets the tiniest bit suggestive at the end, situationship dynamic

An original fan-fiction for Love and Deepspace. I appreciate reblogs but reposting to Tumblr or any other site is not okay with me.

I’m going to die today.

I can picture my final resting place now; a six foot hole in the ground with fresh dirt on top, a bouquet of my favourite flowers and a tombstone that reads:

‘Here lies Evie. Dead because she was dared to slap the boss of Onychinus’ ass.’

If I had more time, I would have studied black magic to make sure Luke and Kieran go out with me. But I don’t have more time, not when the re-release of one of my favourite smutty books is on the horizon with an exclusive and very limited cover.

Clearly, I value books more than my own life.

“You’re quieter than usual tonight.”

I jump at the voice, head snapping towards Sylus sitting in the driver’s seat of his car. One of several cars he owns. He isn’t looking at me, scarlet eyes fixated on the road ahead as he drives at the N109 Zone’s speed limit. In other words, faster than Linkon’s law actually allows.

“It’s nothing.” I deflect his observation as casually as I can manage. I turn my eyes to look out the front window, not wanting to risk making eye contact with him should he happen to glance at me, but also not wanting to turn away completely and raise suspicion. “I stayed up later then I should have, that’s all.”

Working for Onychinus has completely warped my sleep schedule. My patterns used to be that of a normal person, awake during the day and asleep at night, but now I’m active beneath both the sun and moon. Instead of sleeping straight through one cycle phase, I’ve learned to split my rest in two. Sunrise and sunset are my resting hours now, with daylight my free time and overnight my work hours.

Sylus hums, and the sound vibrates in my gut. I love hate the way it feels. “Reading again?”

I did fit in more reading time where I should have been asleep, but that wasn’t the cause of my hesitation to start a conversation. “Am I that predictable?”

“Painfully so.” He turns onto the street that leads to the base. “I am, after all, aware of your particular taste in novels.”

My face burns hot, much so that I cross my arms and dig my nails into my skin. “That isn’t the only genre I read. I keep more tame stuff at home.”

He snickers. “I’m sure.”

Minutes later, we arrive. I follow half a step behind Sylus as we navigate the base, the both of us headed in the same direction. My office is in his personal wing, where it has been since I got hired a year and a half ago. To this day, I still haven’t been able to get a clear answer as to why he put me so close to him. On a professional level it makes sense, being his personal assistant and all, but given the nature of his work… it seems odd to place an absolute stranger right outside your door.

Though, I’m not exactly much of a threat. I doubt a man like Sylus sees much harm in a woman whose only weapon is a pencil with a pointy end.

“Take the rest of the night off.” Sylus breaks the silence as we turn down the hallway leading to his wing.

Stunned, I come to a stop. Sylus carries on without looking back, his footsteps alone echoing off the walls. He gets a several strides ahead before I’m jogging to catch up. “But, the notes from the meeting today need to be-”

He grabs the handle of the door that leads to his private quarters, and he finally turns his head to look down at me. Not in the sense that I’m below him, but literally has to look down. “If you’re too tired to interrupt my peace and quiet the way you normally do, then you’re useless tonight.”

I huff and cross my arms. “You make me sound like someone who never shuts up.”

One corner of his mouth curls up. “Are you not aware of how noisy you are, kitten? That’s an order.”

I clamp my mouth shut to keep any witty remarks inside. Sylus waits a moment, and when he’s satisfied that I won’t argue, turns the handle and pushes open the door.

That’s when I realize that if I don’t strike now, I’ll never have a chance to do so again. The boss’ guard is down, the hallway is empty, and several escape routes are available.

Should I go light? No, better to stun him and buy myself several seconds of precious time.

Sylus makes it half a stride through the door before my hand connects with his ass, the resounding slap like a grenade in the silence.

Then I’m flying back the way we came, fleeing for my life and the exclusive book cover I’m so desperate to get my hands on. “Sorry, Sir!”

I whip around the corner, going so fast I almost crash right into Luke and Kieran. They jump to the side, pressing their backs against opposite walls and clearing the way for me to get by.

Luke cackles beneath his crow mask. “Where’s the fire, Evie?”

“I better get a signed copy, you doorknobs!”

I’m racing around the next corner seconds before their howling laughter turns into strangled yelps. My heart sinks. He’s catching up, and he’s catching up fast.

I throw myself into the closest supply closet without thinking, barricading the door with a gun rack and ducking behind a shelf of random things that I make a mental note to sort through at some point in the future. Assuming I even live to see the future.

I throw my hands over my nose and mouth to muffle my breathing when footsteps draw near. I stare through a gap between the shelves, watching the light beneath the door. A prayer my grandmother used to recite comes to mind as footsteps drew near, two points of shadow obstructing the light.

The footsteps fall silent. Neither of the shadows move.

‘Please no, please no, please no, please no, please no.’

The shadows move and the footsteps start again, the sound becoming distant until they disappear completely.

Dropping my hands, I let out the quietest sigh of relief I can manage. I’m not brave enough to risk sneaking out now, not when Sylus is still on the prowl. I’ll stay hidden in here until sunrise if I have to.

Getting comfy on the floor, I fish my phone from my back pocket. The clock reads 11:48 PM.

‘I won.’

Three hours go by. Pain attacks my spine when I finally straighten myself out, fingers numb from holding my phone and battery percentage in the red zone. I started and finished an entire book on my reading app in the time I’ve been hiding here.

No one has passed by the closet since I first jumped in here. If it was Sylus who briefly stopped outside the door, he hasn’t come back yet. Either he was still lingering somewhere in the base, or he stepped out.

Waiting till sunrise to make an escape no longer feels doable. Not if I still want to have any kind of feeling in my body.

Tucking my phone away, I uncross my legs and bite back a cry at the pins and needles feeling that shoots up them. I mentally curse out Luke and Kieran as I grit my teeth through the attack. It feels like forever before the numbness finally fades and I can stand without feeling like my legs are going to give out from under me.

The stupid wheels on the gun rack screech obnoxiously as I push it aside. Then the hinges on the door shriek as I slowly crack the closet open. Both ends of the hallway are clear, and a quick glance at the ceiling doesn’t reveal any sign of Mephisto.

I’m clear. Hopefully. I get going before that changes.

I make it halfway down the hall when something drifting from the ceiling catches my attention. It’s a black feather, and it sets my internal alarm off and has me making another scan for the mechanical crow. I still don’t see him.

The feather floats down in front of me, and my curiosity wins. My hand seems to reach out all on its own to grab it. The second my fingers brush against the soft feather, it disintegrates into black and red mist.

‘Oh fu-’

My wrist is suddenly caught in an iron grip, a pair of crimson eyes narrow, tempting lips set in a firm line. I don’t even think to run.

Instead, I blink up at him. “Hello, Sir.”

“Evie.” My name is flat on his tongue.

“About earlier,” I put on the most innocent smile in my arsenal. “It was Luke and Kieran’s idea. Punish them, not me.”

“Oh, they’ve already received what they’re owed.” He pulls my wrist until I bump into his chest. “Now, what do you think you’re owed for that little surprise?”

“Forgiveness?” Noticing the thin chain on his collar was undone, I fix it for him. “You know, Sir, I think it would be good for you to practice leaving yesterday’s grudges in the past. A handsome face like yours should eliminate as many causes of stress as possible to prevent faster aging.”

He raises a brow, not at all looking convinced. “Is that how it works?”

I nod. “There has been research done. If you let me live, I can have a full report on your desk by tomorrow night.”

Sylus hums as if considering it. Then, miraculously, he lets me go. “Leave yesterday’s grudges in the past, is it? Perhaps you’re right.” He turns to the side and lifts an arm as if to say ‘go ahead’. “Enjoy the rest of your night off, Evie.”

‘I’m so dead.’

I don’t turn my back to him. In fact, I walk backwards while holding eye contact with him, the amused smile on his face a mask for something more lethal. It’s only when I’m forced to turn a corner that I let him out of my sight.

My steps and quick and paranoid, the base seeming to stretch on endlessly before I finally make it to the exit. Then I actually make it outside, the full moon and cool air welcoming me in celebration of my survival.

“Huh.” I cross my arms and pinch my chin between my thumb and index finger. “I can’t believe I actually got away with-”

Something slaps against my ass with a swift, sharp strike. I jump in surprise, a startled yelp forcing itself free from my throat. Eyes wide, I whirl around to find Sylus smirking down at me with one hand casually tucked in his pocket, the other hanging at his side.

“Sir!” I exclaim, rubbing the spot he hit. It was tingling, though I can’t say if it’s from the slap or the knowledge that it was him who touched me. “What happened to leaving yesterday’s grudges in the past?!”

“You’re so naive, kitten. For a man who is more active at night, ‘yesterday’ is still today.” He closes the distance between us and leans down until his lips are at my ear. “Pull a stunt like that again, and I’ll bind your wrists until you’re begging me to set you free. Do you understand?”

My breath hitches. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good.” He nips my earlobe before pulling away. “The driver will take you home.”

Even after he disappears back inside, I’m still staring at the door, my heart hammering and cheeks burning. Is a book cover really worth what I put myself through tonight?

My phone buzzed with a message. It’s from Kieran, showing proof that they held up their end of the bargain. Not only did they get their hands on the exclusive cover, but they got it signed.

‘Totally worth it.’

SFW Masterlist

Tag List:

@softlycandescent @goat-mama-breezie

[4th-make-quail]

ooh I don’t think this is going to be in my current wip but your post just now about tying that man up is doing things for me. also I was scrolling your tag for normal reasons and found another post about bondage with them where you said it could be relaxing regardless of whether it was a sex thing. and I’ve read quite a few fics (not for them though) where the focus is on the calming aspect of it, and it’s become one of my favorite things ngl.

honestly I think both of them could find it soothing because they’re just Like That but I am thinking about Assad specifically at the moment. idk when/if I’ll get around to it but it is certainly a nice mental image for now.

-🎭

YESSSS I'm glad you found that post, it's always on my mind tbh!! And I really love that aspect of shibari a lot (even if I do most of the time make it into A Sex Thing hur hur hur) too, it's a fun angle that could definitely work for both of them!

I feel like Eric would be a bratty rope bottom, mouthing off and being very wiggly, but he loves it really and he loves to push Assad's buttons and make him be more assertive you know? And even tho Assad could quite easily shut him up with some well placed rope or a gag, he loves it really - like it's a perfect indicator of just how horny and pent up Eric is cos he gets worse when he needs it more 😏

And further on the subject of Assad being tied up, imagine him having beautiful jewel toned red or pink ropes against his lovely skin 🥰🥰 he arrives at Eric's place after a long period apart during a shoot or a play run and he's exhausted, strung out from busy filming schedule and missing Eric like air. Even tho he's had a long flight he can't calm himself of all that restless nervous energy - maybe they've been apart now for the longest time since their first times together and after all the intensity of filming s2 and the promo circuit and he's just terrified that the spark won't be there any more u know?

Ofc Eric knows straight away, not only cos he's vibrating like he's had too many coffees on too little sleep, and he has just the trick to make his mind calm, to make his body calm... It's hard to think all of that shit when the guy you love is adoringly tying you with beautiful ropes he bought special, his big sure hands so soothing with the repetitive motions and his voice talking all sorts of sweet nonsense

[alliaskisthepossibilityoflove]

inspiration saturday

Hiiiiiii long time no me participating in tag games (long story will be under the cut 😅 if you want it), so here I am with a two parter - an inspiration AND a tidbit

First, I can't get this song, and in particular this version of the song out of my head

(Apologies for Pierce Brosnan's singing, I just really really love the moment Meryl Streep joins in on "but dignified")

I mean listen to this

Clear-headed and open-eyed With nothing left untried Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run There's no hurry anymore when all is said and done

That's everything I want for Buddie post Tommy, knowing themselves, knowing each other, all they need is to take this new path together, and there is no rush, because they are sure and ready.

So if anyone wanted to make my entire year and make an edit?🙏😘

And now a TIDBIT 😊

This is from the very beginning of my heart’s over-pumping and your mouth is an ambulance by fleetinghearts, have some Eddie picking up Chris after a field trip 😍

because heart-eyes! Eddie isn't making heart-eyes just as Buck, he's also making them at his son 😍😍😍

tags and all under the cut

Thank you everyone who's kept tagging me in various games and when you posted something new even when I didn't have capacity to tag you back ❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm going to go through my mentions and tag as many people as I can but i feel like half of my dash has changed their urls recently so if I forget anyone I'd normally tag and you want to be tagged 1) lmk and 2) please consider yourself tagged (and now I've typed "tag" waaaay too many times and it has lost all meaning) (also lmk if you wanna be removed ofc)

@shitouttabuck ❤️❤️❤️❤️, @tizniz, @diazsdimples, @cal-daisies-and-briars, @lover-of-mine,

@try-set-me-on-fire, @acountrygirlsfun, @aroeddiediaz,

@wikiangela, @bucksbignaturals, @buckleyobsessed,

@mistmarauder, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @daffi-990,

@exhuastedpigeon, @glorious-spoon, @rainbow-nerdss,

@devirnis, @renecdote, @thewolvesof1998

@rewritetheending, @chronicowboy, @suavecitodiaz

@eddiediaz420, @captain-hen , @sunshinediaz, @neverevan

So basically what happened here at house of El was a prime example of if you don't give your body a break it will make you take one - after running himself ragged since basically October my husband stepped wrong and broke a bone in his foot and has been stuck on the couch for the last 3 weeks. So for the time being I'm the one doing all the school drop-offs/pick-ups and grocery runs and after-school activities (and most of chores, though to be fair my house has been overrun by kinetic sand since christmas 😅), but also (crucially) it means no editting/recording time for me, because no. I'm trying to edit on my work ipad but it's no audacity, so it's sloooooow going 😅 anyway. How have you all been doing apart from vibrating out of your skins about S07?

[devirnis]

Hiiii Ali! 💖💖

Could you maybe tell me about Meet Me In The Dark please? 👀👀👀 (asking while pretending to be normal but still silently vibrating out of my skin bc of sheer excitement)

Also it was really hard to choose just one from your wips but i am being very brave about it 😔🙏

Lilla beloved! And anon beloved!

This is the angsty, whumpy sequel to the restaurant front au. I haven't worked on it in a while because other things actually have deadlines, but it is still my treasured wip lol. Basically that 'verse's version of 2x13 where Doug kidnaps Maddie and Buck, and then has the entire 118 crime family after him

Doug relaxes his grip on Buck’s throat, moving his hand down to pat Buck’s shoulder amiably. “The first thing I want you to do is put down your bag.” Somehow she manages to nod. Making sure her movements are telegraphed and deliberate, she puts her bag down on the kitchen counter. Her fingers itch to reach out for her phone – she had her text thread with Chimney open, it would only be four keystrokes to send him a simple SOS – but she’s not willing to risk Buck’s life taking that chance. Chimney will be over soon. He’ll figure out something happened. Until then, Maddie just has to keep herself and Buck alive.

[zabimarushoney67]

Heyy! I love your work and I wanted to request izuru kira from bleach hurt/comfort 💦❌️ cause it's a drought with the emo boy kira community.

Hey doll! :) I’m sorry this took so long I hope you’re still here but yes absolutely you got it! We love emo baby boy Kira around these parts 💖 I turned on my emo playlist just to set the mood for this 😭 Kira is a Mayday Parade fan all the way you can’t change my mind.

🌸Melancholy Boy🌸

NSFW!💦MDI!⚠️ANGST!❌

-Summary: After the betrayal of Aizen, with Gin and Tosen in tow life has been very stressful for the rest of us in the Gotei 13. Izuru, your boyfriend of 3 years has recently taken charge of his division. With so much more responsibility falling on his shoulders his attention towards you, and your relationship has been thrown to the side, treated like an option. At first you understood but it’s been 1 month since the attack and he can barely look in your direction, let alone hold an open conversation with you. It’s left you feeling empty and alone, not knowing how to talk to him about it, is making it difficult for a resolution to come about. Will your relationship come back together or fall to the wayside? How can it be fixed?

Word count: A LOT sorry not sorry this request got the better of me emo boys are my weakness 😭

-Warnings: Mentions of mental health/symptoms of MH (depression, anxiety), deep emotions, acknowledgment, healthy relationships, strong language, and dirty writing. Penetration!vaginal s3x. Praise k!nk, Overstimulation. Master!Sir!Daddy! k!nk. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ NSFW.

-Authors notes: woo! this was a doozy, I didn’t mean for this to be so long but I’m happy it turned out the way it did, I purposely didn’t write much about body shape (weight, height, eye/skin color etc. leaving just (c) for color for those things just for readers so y’all could insert your own body.) we’re here for smut after all 🤷🏽‍♀️ let me know if you liked this or not, reposts and likes go a long way 💖 I hope you enjoyed it otherwise! Thank you for the requests in advance :)

🌸The clouded morning sun, peaks through the sheer white curtains of your bedroom window, illuminating the dark room a pale grey. Outside, it rains softly, the drops gently pattering on the rooftop and falling down the glass window pane. It's been heavy and gloomy around the Seireitei the last few weeks following the attack of Aizen, and his group of traitors. No one saw it coming, we were taken by complete surprise and since then it seems that the clouds have yet to disperse. Y/N yawns and stretches along her side of the bed and with her left hand, feeling around the opposite side of the soft top sheet, only to find a cold empty spot next to her. “What time is it?..” she says quietly to herself as she rolls over to the alarm clock on Izuru's side, 10:39 AM the digital clock reads. “He must’ve left pretty early this morning.” she mentions sadly.

After waking and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, y/n wandered into her usual morning routine of brushing her hair, and teeth, as she decided to put on more clothing than just one of Izurus T-shirts and her black flower lace panties, choosing to just throw on her grey, comfy cotton shorts under the shirt, and some cute fuzzy pink socks as she headed downstairs into the kitchen to find something to munch on. “What to do with so much time off, when normally you're so busy?..” she questions as she ruffles through the cupboards for a granola bar and a bowl of cereal. With everything that’s happened in The Soul Society, it felt almost selfish that she requested time off for her well-being. The familiar sound of her phone vibrating on the kitchen counter catching her attention, the phone screen lighting up to a sweet picture of you and Izuru. A simpler time, it seems now. Izuru’s arm hooked around your neck, both of you smiling big underneath one of your favorite sakura trees in all of the Seireitei. It’s been your background for months and it still manages to make you smile, every time your phone lights up.

Two unread messages from: Babe❤️ read the brightly lit screen. ‘Hm Izuru.. usually he’s too busy to message me during his shifts. I hope everything is ok.’ y/n ponders as she swipes open her phone to read the two messages.

11:09 AM

🌸 “When you wake up, could you throw my laundry in the dryer for me?”

11:11 AM

🌸 “I'll be home early tonight, can you have the house clean, and dinner ready.”

‘Who does he think he's talking to??… first of all I’m on vacation? Or so I thought. Secondly, not even a good morning? A “hey how are you? Sorry, I left you home alone all last night and all morning.”... Not even a please or a thank you?..’ y/n scoffs taking a deep breath already feeling the frustration mounting, because this has been a usual thing for Kira lately. ‘He asks me to do chores around the house and asks me to run errands for him all the time, yet never does it for me, let alone thanks me for the things that I do..’ her brain couldn’t stop thinking now. It hasn’t exactly been stress and tension free between you and Izuru the last few weeks, with his added stress of taking on the duties of both Lieutenant and Captain of Squad 3 and trying to keep his squad under control, you understood why he would be grumpier than usual, tense, and tired and you've been trying to put in extra effort to keep your relationship above water. But it seems as time goes on, Izuru is falling behind you. He hasn't been the same, since Gin left. He treats you differently now, It's becoming tiring trying to figure him out. ‘What am I going to do..’ y/n sighs deeply, the weight on her shoulders returning heavier than before. She bothers not to text him back and places her phone face down on the counter. With her face in her hands, the morning has now shifted down a dark road y/n had tried desperately to stay out of, ‘I’m exhausted too Izuru.. It would be nice if you could also see that I'm struggling... Hurting. Just as much as you are.’ She shakes her head, and runs her delicate fingers through her soft (c) hair.

The Soul Society, your relationship, your home everything seems to be so out of balance now. You can’t help but feel anger and resentment towards those back stabbing cowards. Life was good before all of this easy, and routinely. Your relationship with Izuru was in such a good place, you had so many plans, you were happy. Because of this betrayal everything is changing, The Seireitei has become a much more serious place now, with everyone on edge.

With a full belly, fresh coffee brewed and made exactly how Y/N likes it, it was best for her to take the rest of the morning to relax and find something to entertain herself. ‘Chores’ needed to wait. It seems that’s all she does now, even when she’s on duty patrolling with her own squad someone is always sending y/n to do the most tedious stuff, or even when she’s on a mission in the world of the living, so many things to do… and never enough time to do it all it seems. Taking her warm coffee mug, and her phone into the cozy living space you and Izuru set up together. She curls up on the couch with her favorite blanket and a few couch pillows and sipped her morning coffee while she flipped through shows and streaming services, before finally settling on lighting some incense, turning on and listening to her favorite playlist, and reading a book instead. With the rain still falling gently outside the soft droplets making a ‘tap, tap tap, tap’ on the living room windows, hours had gone by, y/n fully losing and immersing herself in her dark, fictional world through the crisp pages, while the haunting lyrics of Don’t You Dare Forget the Sun danced around the fragrant, dimly lit room.

4:45 PM

Y/Ns phone buzzes once more. Another message from Izuru. “What does he want now?..” she remarks quietly and quickly snaps out of her book and back into reality as she sees her phone light up with one unopened message from: Babe❤️ on the screen.

🌸 “ Hey, I’m gonna be home at 5 tonight. I hope you’ve had a good day today.”

Taken by complete surprise that Izuru finally, and actually acknowledged her this time around, y/n unlocks her phone and replies:

🌸 “okay, see you then.”

🌸 “I Love you.”

Y/N places her phone back down on the couch, not responding further and gets up to lightly pick up and organize the house, and throws Izuru’s clothes into the dryer for him. Opting out of making dinner, and calling for take out instead. She climbs back into her spot stretched out on the couch and throws on a show to kill off the last minutes of Izuru’s disappearance. You’ve missed him all day, you admit to yourself. Wishing and hoping that he’s in a good enough mood to spend some time together tonight. Sighing and hugging a pillow you sink into your couch and drown out anymore of those pestering thoughts with a ridiculous anime on the living room TV.

5:15 PM

The front doorknob wiggles and clanks with the sound of Izuru’s house keys working the lock to get into the house. Y/N sits up from her nest on the couch and looks to the door as Izuru comes in, back facing you, sighing softly as he sets his zanpakto next to yours, and his other gear next to the front door. He sheds his shihakusho right there leaving him shirtless, his hakama loosely held in place by his belt. “Hey..” you say softly “how was your day..?” Izuru comes around the couch and plops down heavily on the cushion next to you, he smelled of fresh rain, fire smoke, sweat, and a hint of his usual warm vanilla musk cologne, such a interesting and heady combination that fills your nostrils, you can’t help but breathe in deeply a few times savoring his scent.

While rubbing the back of his neck and stretching out his legs, his feet in front of him, “It was alright…” he responded dryly, not saying much else about it, he relaxes into the couch with his head laying on the back cushion, eyes closed. “Is dinner ready? I’m starving.” He remarks to you. “I ordered take out, cooking just sounded like to much work tonight.. it should be here soon.” Izuru looks at you with hooded and tired blue eyes, the bags underneath them visible even in the dim living room light. Izuru places his warm rough hand on your thigh and gives it a loving squeeze, you can feel how thick his callouses have become as his hand laid upon your soft skin, thumb stroking comforting lines back and forth, Izuru lays his head back onto the couch cushion and breathes quietly and steadily. The weather outside, was growing more intense as the night progressed. Dark clouds swirled over the house, as a storm was approaching for the night.

The silence was deafening, all that you could hear was the soft noise from the TV, Izuru’s breathing, and your loud thumping heartbeat in your ears. It has never been this hard for you and Izuru to relate to each other, the tension y/n felt in the room was suffocating and almost unbearable, after all he was your best friend, and it was so hard to see him so beaten down, quiet, and distant. Your eyes gazed, studying Izuru’s form. He’s gotten a lot stronger, leaner, his abs even in a relaxed state we’re chiseled and defined, rising slowly with each inhale and exhale. His collarbones were peaking out shyly under his neck, his forearms have grown in size, the veins bulging out at his wrist and up to his elbow. The harsh training was paying off, despite him coming home exhausted and drained every night… ‘mmmph… wow, he looks so fucking yummy. Maybe he’ll want to…’ you think impulsively, reactively almost, sending shockwaves down your spine into the depths of your belly, giving you goosebumps down your neck. It has been awhile since you’ve got to feel.. all of Izuru. Biting your lower lip as your eyes wandered lower to his soft light blonde happy trail from his belly button to his belt, you gently place your hand over his and give it a gentle squeeze, shooing away those shivers, and incredible memories of sex with Izuru away from your brain.

5:40 PM

There was a ring of the doorbell and a gentle knock at the front door, signifying that take out had finally arrived. “I’ll get it..” Izuru says as he releases your hand and gets up from his seat, gently patting your head as he heads to the front door. He pays for the food and tips the delivery driver and takes the food to the coffee table before heading to the kitchen for plates, silverware, and two cold beers for you and him.

You guys ate in silence together, focusing on eating rather than socializing and watching TV. Once finished Izuru takes your plates, and empty beer bottles to the kitchen. Y/N cleans up whatever leftovers there were, and brings them to the fridge to put them away. In the kitchen, you see Izuru washing the 3 day dish pile up in the sink, feeling kind of bad that you had all day to do them but didn’t. Usually you guys tackled all the chores together, and the house was always spotless. Over the last few weeks, the mess slowly started to accumulate as your schedules got busier and you and Izuru spent less and less time at home. Y/N slinks up behind Izuru and wraps her arms around his waist and kisses his skin softly over and over, laying her warm cheek on his strong back. “Thank you for doing the dishes.” Y/N says appreciatively, “It’s my home too, I’m almost finished here.” He says placing the last few dishes in the dish rack to dry “I’m gonna jump in the shower.” Izuru says coldly as he drys his hands and walks out of the kitchen, not saying anything else leaving y/n standing there alone under the iridescent light. ‘..Oh, I’m sorry for bothering you’ y/ns mind sinks in the mud, as she walks to the couch heart feeling heavier than ever, after the exchange.

6:49PM

Standing in front of the steam covered mirror, towel wrapped neatly around his hips, Izuru leans over the sink, wet hair dripping on the counter and into the sink as he takes a deep breath of the humid air and breathes out slowly. ‘I have yet another busy and early day tomorrow..‘ Izuru’s mind has been so clogged, with all the events over the last few weeks he can barely think straight most of the time. Burned out and detached was all he could really feel as he tried searching his mind for a semblance of calm. Izuru sighs deeply and closes his eyes as memories of Gin, and that day replay in his mind like it happened yesterday, making his head ache. He wipes away the steam from the mirror and finishes his nightly ritual with haste. Leaving the upstairs bathroom, steam rolling out behind him as he walks to your shared bedroom, not bothering to close the door behind him to dress. He hears a faint sniffling coming from the living room that he soon drowns out, believing it’s just the show on the TV playing. He dries off and throws on black boxer briefs and green plaid pajama pants and walks downstairs to the living room, squeezing out the water in his hair with his towel on the way.

6:55 PM

Upon arrival, he notices the TV is off and y/n is sitting on the couch wiping her eyes and nose with his shirt, shuddering breaths as she tries to self soothe. “Hey, whats the matter?” Izuru says worriedly and approaches y/n from behind placing his towel over the back of the couch and crouching down in front of her. “… nothing.” Y/N says, biting her tongue and choosing to be silent in order not to put any more problems on Izuru’s shoulders. “Well that’s a lie. Your eyes are red and puffy and you’re sniffling. I’m not stupid you know?…” “C’mon, you can tell me.” Izuru coos as he cups y/n face gently and strokes her cheeks with his thumbs. Y/N whimpers softly as tears well up in her big (c) eyes and spill over, rolling down her cheeks once more, the dam in her heart breaking down completely as she sobbed hard into Izuru’s hands. “I m-miss y-yo-you. S-s-so much..” she choked out in between sobs and sniffles. “You’re always gone now and I’m always alone, you didn’t come home till late last night and you were gone this morning and I’m always doin stuff with never enough time, a-a-and, and, and..” she rambled on, not evening knowing what to say through all the pain she felt in her throat and chest. “Woah.. hey, y/n.. it’s alright don’t cry.” Izuru said in attempts to calm you down, wiping your tears away and brushing your hair out of your eyes and behind your ear. “Use your words, it’s okay y/n.” He reassures you in a gentle tone.

Taking a deep but broken breath, y/n closes her eyes and takes his hands off her face. “.. things just have not been the same babe, I feel like I’m the only one who wants this relationship anymore… I do everything I can and… I still feel less than, like I don’t matter.” Y/N says quietly, avoiding his gaze. Thunder outside booms, as the rain started to fall heavy this time. The wind blew hard against the house making it creak in rebellion. “Today.. or everyday really, feels like so much. I just don’t know how to keep going anymore.. I want you home again. I just want things to go back to normal.” Y/N says sadly, looking down. Izuru looking very concerned as he takes a seat close to you and wraps his arms around you and holds you close to his chest. “Oh babe…” “I’m sorry..” Izuru responds, sounding defeated “I’m sorry y/n, really I am. I’ve been so lost in myself and my duties I didn’t even see… or begin to realize how badly you were suffering through all this.” He acknowledges and squeezes you hard, making you cry some more into his chest. Izuru lays his head on top of yours and rubs your arms, as he felt you cry into him. Breathing in his clean manly scent slowly but surely calmed you down, the sobs turning into sniffles and eventually silence as you relaxed deeply into Izuru’s chest, hearing his heart beat steadily.

After sitting like this awhile, the rain continuing to fall outside. Y/N breaks free from his arms, “We’re gonna be okay? Right?” Y/N whispers, looking directly into Izuru’s deep blue eyes “We’re gonna be okay baby, don’t worry about a thing. I love you so much, more then you realize, I’m sorry I haven’t been expressing that to you like you deserve lately.” “I’ll do better, I promise you.” Izuru leans in and kisses you hard, lips locking in place as he places his hand on your neck deepening the kiss, a soft moan escapes your mouth that is easily dissolved by Izuru and the sudden passion that was taking over the energy between the two of you. Suddenly the room started to feel hot, your body temperature rising as those earlier thoughts of Izuru’s strong hands caressing your body, and his body weight pushing his hard cock into your tight slippery hole flood back into your mind, instinctively your hands cup his face as you let your tongue slip into Izuru’s mouth, accepting you willingly he groans as your tongues play together, twisting around each other, saliva mixing as wet kissing noises started to fill the quiet living room.

Izuru’s hands glide down from your neck to your waist as he pulls you on to his lap so you’re straddling his thighs, pushing you into his groin as you feel his cock stir awake underneath your butt. Y/N leans onto his chest, her breast perching on his muscled chest and kisses Izuru deeply, biting at his lower lip and tugging it gently before releasing it and looking at Izuru’s red blushed face “I love you Izuru, so much.” She says before grabbing his face and pulling him back into a sloppy make out session. Grinding her hips against Izuru’s thighs, encouraging his dick to get harder in his boxers to make a tent big enough to grind her throbbing wet slit against. Y/N moans into Izuru’s mouth as she feels his cock twitch hard against her core. “I’ve missed you.. I miss this..” y/n says breathlessly “Miss what?” Izuru says before grabbing y/n wrists with his hands and pushes her into the couch cushions laying over top of her, keeping her wrists in place, pinning her hips against his uncomfortably hard cock. Y/N whimpers underneath him, biting her lip and looking up at Izuru’s smoldering expression, “I can’t hear you kitten.” Izuru says in a serious tone, all aspects of playfulness disappearing. “I.. I miss sirs big cock inside..” she says shyly, “inside where?” Izuru demands, grinding his hips against your aching core grunting as the fabric between you and him gives zero to no relief to his throbbing cock but enough friction that he keeps grinding his hips, heavy precum dripping from his head making his boxers a mess. He’s missed you just as much as you him, he’s come to realize as pleasure rips through his body thinking about sinking his fingers inside your dripping wet core. “Inside.. my greedy pussy sir.” Y/N says innocently as she tries to hide her face in her arm, embarrassed and blushed pink.

Izuru grabs your chin with his free hand and turns your face towards his, forcing you to look up at him. He places his thumb over your soft lips pushing gently wanting you to take it in your mouth. Y/N parts her lips and takes his thumb in her warm wet mouth and sucks softly, causing Izuru to groan his knees almost buckling at the sight “you’re so goddamn sexy, baby.” he says biting his lip as he looks down at how cute you look going into your sub space for him so quickly. ‘God look at you.. your eyes are still red and puffy… but they’re sparkling so preciously at me.. her soft pink lips swollen from our intense kisses. Fuck she’s so gorgeous, how can I be so stupid?… this woman is gonna be the death of me, and I’m okay with that.’ Izuru notes in his brain, as he releases your wrists, pulls his thumb out of your mouth and moves his hands to the hem of your (his) shirt, undressing you quickly exposing your breasts and nipples to the cold living room air. Your nipples perk up immediately as the cold air wraps around your upper body, Izuru then fumbles around with the cute little bow you tied in your shorts strings to remove your shorts, his eyes eating you up and drinking you in like you were his salvation, his rapture. His eyes gazed down your body, mesmerized completely until he saw your panties. “Isn’t this the pair I got for you on our first anniversary?” He questioned raising his eyebrow at you as he lightly traced the little flowers with his fingers and over your dripping cunt. Putting pressure over your clit through the fabric, as he waited for you to answer. Y/N yelps cutely as his expert fingers gently toy with her pussy through the fabric, her hands resting on her tummy “yes sir… they’re my favorite pair.” She replies and smiles up at Izuru. “You’ve always looked so cute in them.” He mentions sweetly, and he beams back at you. “I’m trying to get inside them though..” he says darkly, smile vanishing as he pulls them down the length of your thighs, over your calves with no remorse.

Completely naked now, and feeling a little exposed y/n giggles as she watches Izuru fumble out of his own clothing, piling them on the floor with everything else. His hard cock finally free and out in the open, ‘when was the last time I’ve seen him completely naked?..hmm he really is a god amongst men. I’m so fucking lucky.’ y/n thinks distractedly, eating Izuru alive with her eyes. Looking him up and down in all his glory, his strong body now fully exposed to her, blushing deeply as her eyes can’t stop glancing at his perfect cock. Slightly curved upwards, deep pink head with pre coating his slit, naturally ribbed with veins running down his shaft and up his V line. ‘Trimmed too?.. fuck. So you thought about it too then huh?’ Y/n noted as she looked up his body, eyes resting on his perfect ass and muscular back.

Finished undressing, Izuru climbs back onto the cramped couch with you, ringing his arms around your thighs pulling you harshly down so his face was level with your pussy. The sudden movement makes y/n gasp in surprise, rocking her back into the present moment from her dreamy headspace. “I wanna show you just how much I love you tonight.. I’ve missed you so much baby.” He coos softly up at you. The scene you were presented with… Izuru’s beautiful face looking up at you from between your soft plush thighs was tantalizing enough, you bite your lip and thread your hands and fingers through his hair pushing it out and away from his face, so he could get to work. Without breaking eye contact, Izuru unwraps one arm and uses his fingers to spread your wet folds apart, the other arm flexing and jerking your leg open to keep it in place. He breathes you in deeply and kisses both your inner thighs repeatedly, then each lip, before he takes your whole slit into his mouth sucking and licking every last bit of your pussy. His tongue digging into your hole as he begins to eat you out. Izuru sucks and gently tugs on your clit with his lips, your juices dripping down his mouth and onto the couch, ‘god she tastes so heavenly…�� Izuru moans appreciatively at your flavor. Sweet, with a little tanginess bringing him forward into complete bliss, Izuru closes his eyes and savors every last drop of you, sucking and licking you up like a melting popsicle. Y/N moans out loud and pushes Izuru’s face deeper into her core grinding her hips against his face and fervent mouth. “Unnnghh.. that’s so fucking good daddy don’t st-st-stop.” Y/N says unashamedly as she tugs at his soft blonde hair hard causing Izuru to groan against her swollen lips, the vibrations being sent directly to her belly and hips as she felt that familiar warm sensation creeping up her legs. “You’re gonna make me fucking c-cum, fuck!” Y/N moans wildly and throws her head back as her orgasm grows closer to snapping at any moment, with the continued movements of Izuru’s swirling wet tongue.

Taking the fingers he was using to spread your labia, he slides the two fingers inside your dripping pussy, while he moves them at a steady pace and puts the exact right amount of pressure on your spongey gspot, with that he could feel the exact moment your orgasm ripped through your whole body. “Oh my GOD!! IZURUUUU YES!” Y/N screams and cums so hard she squirts all over Izuru’s mouth and chest, desperately trying to escape his arms to no avail. The couch now completely soaked in y/n’s juices, with his fingers still inside he continues to play with your spot pushing up and towards him faster and faster while he speeds up the movement of his tongue, flicking over your sensitive and throbbing clit. Overstimulating y/n was one of Izuru’s favorite pastimes, the way she squirms and begs for him to stop his assault on her clit, turns him on so much he unknowingly started to grind his cock into the couch for even just a little relief. Izuru looks up at you with your pussy still in his mouth and finger fucks you until your 2nd orgasm starts to slowly rewind in your belly. Y/N releases Izuru’s hair after cumming and lays back panting hard, legs shaking and body still involuntarily jerking because of Izuru still toying and playing with your slit. “Baby pleaseeee..” y/n begs longingly “I need you inside me now, sir.” “Getting demanding now are we babe?” Izuru quirks playfully, releasing you from his hold because he too was getting eager now, he admitted to himself.

After finishing his (2nd) meal, Izuru sits up on his knees and wipes his mouth with the back his hand. His cock is red and swollen now from the lack of stimulation. Trying to sit up to return the favor y/n is suddenly pushed back into position against the couch by Izuru, he places himself in between your legs, his big hands ride up the back of your thighs as he pushes your knees up to your shoulders putting you in a fetal like position. Izuru grabs the base of his hard cock and pushes his head into your throughly eaten hole, but just the head. “You just lay down and look real pretty while I drill this tight little pussy just the way you like it babe..” he says cooly. Inch by Inch he slowly sinks himself into your depths, impossible to hold his moans back, and feeling how wet you are for him “f-ffuuuuckkk baby… you’re so sweet and tight for me.” Izuru’s shutters, his face softening as he praises you and bottoms out, his full balls resting on your ass. Y/N gasps at the sheer girth of him, Izuru’s cock fits so perfectly inside of you like it was made just for you, each rib of his cock filling and rubbing your walls so good. Izuru stretches your legs out so they’re resting on his shoulders, he leans forward so your pinned underneath his body. His cock going impossibly deeper into you, causing breathy moans to break from your lips. “Ohhh.. Izuru baby, you feel so goooood..” y/n says feeling all of him inside her now, “I haven’t even started yet love.” He chuckles and smiles down at you, before he pulls out and slams back into your pussy, hard. Y/N yelps out, loudly this time and covers her mouth with her hand, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden movement. “Don’t do that..” Izuru huffs as he removes your hand from your mouth, “let me here you scream for daddy.” He says as he really starts to move, his cock ramming into you over and over, relentlessly. Izuru throws his head back and groans loudly as he finds a comfortable rhythm to fuck you too. “God your pussy is so fucking perfect… I miss feeling all of you baby..” he says to you in a forced but hushed tone, trying hard not to cum so soon. “I want to be in you forever.” Izuru claims and pushes your legs to his waist so he can get as close to you as he can, his face instinctively going to the crook of your neck breathing you in. His left hand coming up to cup your soft boob, rubbing and playing with your sensitive nipple while he moved his hips at a slower pace, in hopes this would help him last. His orgasm approaching quicker than he’d like.

The storm was still raging on outside, thunder rolling and lightning flashing through the small slit in the living room curtains. The rain weltering against the windows hard. The scary weather outside was not gonna stop either of you from your current festivities. Y/N wraps her legs around Izuru’s hips as he fills her up, his balls slapping noisily against her butt. So much passion filled the space around and between you and him, no thoughts were processed and no words were spoken just gasps and moans filled the room. He felt so good inside of you. With his warm, heavy body laying against yours. His long slender fingers toying with your sensitive nipple and his breath ragged against your ear, moaning at the feeling of your slick, and creamy pussy sucking him in hungrily. Izuru’s head had begun to spin, as his balls tightened up signaling he was about to cum. Y/Ns soft hands roamed Izuru’s strong back feeling his muscles rippling underneath her palms before settling on his chiseled shoulders. “I don’t.. don’t think I’m gonna last.. much longer. Gonna fucking c-cum.” Izuru pants against you. His cock started to twitch inside, pushing up against your sensitive spot causing y/n to cry out loudly, tears pricking the edge of her eyes. Hearing him speak such things to you tonight was sending you completely over the edge, but that.. what he just said that was the last puzzle piece you needed that sent you straight into your next orgasm. Y/N cry’s loudly as her 2nd orgasm takes over her body like a freight train. Cumming harder the second time than the first, gushing even more all over Izuru’s cock and body. The squeezing and pulsing around his cock did Izuru in, his face contorting with pure bliss, he moans loudly before pulling out and shooting his warm load all of your stomach and breasts, grunting with each shot and thrusting his cock in his fist as he held on through his orgasm, the strong waves rolling through his entire body, leaving him shuttering and shaking. Completely spent now, his cock going soft as he sat there panting and sweaty. Izuru looks down at you, a complete mess covered in your mixed fluids, fucked dumb, panting, and shiny with sweat just like him. He smiles at you with blushed cheeks “you looks so beautiful baby..” he states as he climbs from the now bodily fluid soaked couch giving you room to sit up and recompose yourself. “Let me go and run us a shower babe, wait here.” He says before disappearing upstairs to restart the shower he had already taken.

10:45 PM

Before getting a chance to come downstairs to get you, y/n appears at the bathroom doorway reaching for the hand towel to clean herself up quickly before stepping into the shower with Izuru. Izuru turns away from the shower and sees y/n wiping herself down, stepping towards her and wrapping his arms around her and kissing her shoulders, upper back, and neck, giving her a tight squeeze from behind. “I love you so much y/n. Please never forget that, I’m always gonna be yours.” Izuru says against her chilled skin kissing between each word. “Cmon let’s get you cleaned up.” He says before taking a hand in yours and leading you to the now warm shower. Rinsing you down and washing your body gently, kissing your soft, clean skin, and face repeatedly. After the shower y/n brushes her teeth and hair and dresses in a loose fitted shirt, cotton pink panties yawning her way into the warm bed next to Izuru, who lazily wraps the comforter and his long arms around you and pulls you into his chest. “I’ll bring you the sun, moon, and stars someday my love. Goodnight, beautiful…” he promises sleepily before dozing off soundly. Y/N curled up against his chest, warm, and exhausted hearing his words resonate soundly in her skull ‘sun, moon, and stars huh.. I really am so lucky to have you, Izuru Kira, my melancholy boy. I’m glad to have you back.’ Y/N smiles as she thinks to herself, nuzzling closer to Izuru before dozing off into a deep sleep tangled up in the arms and legs of her lover boy. With the storm outside coming to an end, the residual drops from the rooftop gently tapping against the glass window pane, the night sky clearing and the moonlight shining bright through the curtains, over the gently sleeping forms, of both y/n and Izuru..

End..🌸💕

🌸BLEACH REQUESTS ARE OPEN🌸

— Thanks for reading! I had so much fun writing this 💕I hope this is similar to what you wanted. lmk if not, I’ll take all the constructive criticism I can get to help me get better at writing 🥺

[officialchristiancagebbgirlblog]

1: “you know I love you, right?”

2: “try and get some sleep baby”

3: trying out a new kink

4: pegging for the first time

Fic type: Smut and then angst

Word count: 1887

Filler name: Jen (gonna be honest, I use this name because it is my name and it’s a lil treat for me when writing 🥴)

Link to masterlist

To explain this fic to those who don’t know, I held a poll a little while ago to determine who would be the focus for this fic and the results were Christian Cage. I’m going to consider this as a prelude to this fic. I feel like it’s a nice transition into this topic. So I can ease (😏) prompts 1 and 2, there’s going to be angst towards the end so if you’re confused on how they would fit in here, that’s where they’ll come into play! I was going to do fluff, but I’ve decided to go a different route.

Hopefully that covers any and all questions for this scenario! Without further ado!

Happy reading 🩷

“Are you sure you want to try this?” Jen asked, her voice laced with concern as Christian stood in front of her, holding a brand new strap on.

They had discussed the idea of trying new things in the bedroom with pegging being a popular idea between the two of you. The two had already enjoyed a wonderful make-out session in which they had removed all their clothes and covered each other's bodies in kisses and bite marks. He was comfortable using plugs, both vibrator plugs and normal, but a whole dildo? She wasn’t sure if he was ready to go that far. But then again, here he stood with it sat in his hands. It was a fairly standard size, just a little smaller than his cock. Not quite as thick as his too. It was purple and slightly shiny.

“I am nervous, I won’t lie,” he admitted, “but I want to try this with you. I know you’ll be very gentle with me.”

Jen smiled weakly. Yeah, she was excited to see him take on a pegging session but…

The idea of possibly hurting him scared her. It seems he sensed her nervousness too as he caressed her cheek, kissing the tip of her nose.

“You know I love you, right?” He reassured, moving his thumb to trace her bottom lip. She nodded and retorted with a quiet ‘yeah, of course, baby’ that he almost didn’t hear.

“The idea of having someone make love to me is so incredible. Even more so that I don’t have to do the work,” he smirked, cheekily winking at her, “I want to do this. So bad. And I want it to be you to do this to me, nobody else. I know I’m in safe hands with you. I trust you.”

She swallowed her nerves, taking the strap from his hand and inspecting it. Rolling it over her fingers, she wondered how to put it on. Having never used one before nor even seen someone else put it on during a porn viewing session with Christian, she was at a loss how to begin. He chuckled softly and took it back from her so he could assist in putting it on. He stepped behind her after he pulled it over her legs and strapped it together using the clips, his long fingers pressing hard against her cheeks. Jen gasped as she felt him plant a wet kiss on her skin, letting his tongue lick a strip between the cheeks.

“How do we start?” She asked, nervously fiddling with the loose strip of fabric that rested on her leg. He smiled at her, stepping in front and sinking to his knees. That simple action answered her question as she watched him kiss over the plastic, judging the size, and tracing her thighs. Slowly, he worked his way up to the head, licking his lips as they parted in preparation. He was hesitant at first. It was a big step for him as they had only experimented with plugs. But it was something he was desperate to do. So, he allowed the dildo to slip into his mouth, stopping halfway down the shaft. His gag reflex was already being set off so he kept his head at a respectful distance. Jen watched in wonder as he slowly moved back and forth. For his first time going down on a dildo, he was doing fantastic. She rested her hand on top of his head, creating eye contact with him. He rested his hands on her thighs, gently gripping as he moved. She gave him an encouraging smile as he gagged slightly around the girth.

But in all honesty, the encouragement was more for her if anything. She loved him more than words could say but…seeing him begin to delight in having a dildo in his mouth, she was filled with jealousy and insecurity. She knew he loved her and wanted only her, but knowing he was enjoying genitalia that was not hers (although it was fake) made her feel something she had never felt before. Plugs were fine as she knew they weren't actually of the shape in question. But seeing him get excited over a piece of plastic in the shape of a cock just…she would need to adjust to this new world for sure.

Deciding he had had enough of sucking, he got up from the floor to grab a bottle of their lube. He squirted a large blob into his hand to smother the dildo with, using the leftover on his asshole. Wiping his hands on a discarded t-shirt for the wash, he pulled Jen in for a kiss, cupping her cheeks as he wrapped his soft, moist lips around hers.

“Lay down on your back,” he instructed, gently pushing her towards the bed, “I think it's better if I go on top.”

She did as she was told, lying down on her back with her legs spread. The purple dildo stood upright, glistening under the light. Although she knew what was coming, she still felt nervous. What if he decided he liked it more than having sex with her? Swallowing hard, Jen watched as Christian crawled up the bed to hover over her hips, one leg on either side of her. He took a bit more lube from the bottle to rub a little extra on his hole. You could never be too careful with something like this.

She placed her hands on his knees as he positioned the head correctly. He sunk down ever so slightly, just allowing the tip to slip in. Inhaling sharply, he stopped to get used to the feeling. Christian reached down to grab her hand, wanting that support. She gave him a reassuring squeeze while trying to suppress the jealousy that resided in her chest. He took a deep breath and sunk down further. His ass wasn't used to taking this much and it showed on his face; it was uncomfortable as all hell. But he persisted, still trying to get as far down as he could. The extra lube he had used certainly made it a smoother ride. He gripped her hand tighter, sucking more air in between his teeth as his hole stretched around the thickness.

“Um… you're…you’re doing great!” she muttered, trying her absolute hardest to egg him on and make him feel better. His eyes were squeezed shut as the stinging was almost too much for him to take. But like the trooper he was, he pushed on until he sat on her lap, his ass swallowing the entire dildo. Christian moaned out as he tried to get used to the feeling of a foreign object inside of him. Leaning forward, he let go of her hand to fondle her breasts, carefully circling his hips to widen himself some more. She held his hips, desperate to keep a hold of him still. He must have sensed her nerves as he looked at her with concern in his eyes. Jen chose to say nothing, instead simply smiling up at him to try to not worry him. It stuck in his head, though, but he tried his best to focus on what was going on at that moment.

Feeling more comfortable, he began to rock his hips slowly. The feeling of the plastic sliding in and out hurt but he kept going. After some grinding, the pain began to seep away. Not entirely but it was certainly easier to bear. It wasn't yet at a level of pleasure, and he didn't expect that so early. In all honesty, it was far too early to tell if he enjoyed this sensation or not. This was something he would need to practise more if he wanted to get actual pleasure out of. Christian’s hips began to ache as did his hole, so he began to lift off of it slowly. He had made a fantastic start but it was a bit much to carry on. Jen helped him, holding onto the dildo so it was steady on the exit. Everything was going fine up until he reached the tip. As he continued to rise, the pain began to amp up. It seems he had become so used to being stretched and filled that having it removed hurt. Even more so than having a thick butt plug removed after a long period of time. Mistaking his slowness for his being stuck in that position, Jen thought she'd try and help him. So she gently pushed on his butt cheeks with her free hand, trying to help free him. However, his yelp of pain informed her that he was indeed not stuck. Being pushed off with a ‘pop!’ hurt more than he could have anticipated. He stumbled forward, unable to stop himself in time as he crashed face-first into the wall behind the bed, and crotch-first into her face. Now, not only was his rear hurting, but now his face and genital region.

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry!” she almost screamed as he pulled away from her, climbing off the bed with a groan. Thankfully he hadn't hit his face too hard and was still able to walk, even if it was with a limp. He said nothing in response, leaning against the dresser with one hand holding his aching manhood. Jen quickly tried to remove the strap to go over and help him without having a dildo in her way but managed to get tangled up in the process. He noticed after a few seconds that she was struggling so he limped back over to her, pushing her on her front roughly to unclip the straps. Christian, obviously, was not happy about the whole ordeal that had just played out but tried his best to let it go. He knew she hadn’t meant to hurt him but still. Nothing changed the fact that she didn’t stop to ask if he needed her assistance. Trying his best to swallow the annoyance, he laid down in the bed next to her, pulling Jen in for a cuddle.

“Baby I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” She mumbled, covering him with kisses as he pulled the blanket over their bodies. He sighed, returning one kiss to her forehead and whispering: “I know you didn’t mean it. Just. Please remember to ask me if I need help next time, okay? Try and get some sleep baby. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

He reached over to turn off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. Jen had no idea how she was going to sleep, especially with no comforting words. He had even rolled over and away from her, leaving the warmth of the blanket to slither under the quilt. It was clear that her actions had really touched a nerve with him. And it wasn’t even an isolated incident where she would do something without asking or informing him first too. So now, there she laid. Trying to sleep with so many thoughts racing in her mind. As she eventually drifted off into sleep, all she could think about was how upset he was and how she just wanted to make it better.

But, she would have to wait until the morning before she could do anything at all.

[avocadosharks]

starfruit

“You want to do what?!” 

Rosalina, still composed, tilts her head at the sudden outburst from Peach. “I want the Mushroom Kingdom to join the World of Cosmos under my rule,” she repeats. 

Peach hated how gentle her voice was- like she was talking to a screaming toddler rather than a respected princess that spent her entire life pouring her blood, sweat, and tears into growing this kingdom. She did it all herself and now Rosalina wants to take it from her? Hell no. 

“Very bold of a guest to come here and demand she takes my kingdom,” Peach responds, trying to match Rosalina’s level of cool. It didn’t work and she practically spat the words from her gritted teeth. It was rare for Peach to get so angry, but it was warranted. 

“I’m not demanding anything.”

“Kinda seems like it.”

“It’ll be temporary.”

Peach shoots up so fast her chair tips onto the floor and clatters. Rosalina doesn’t even blink, instead, her exposed eye follows Peach’s movement as she stands. “Bowser has been at war with the entire universe for years. Temporary could be months. Years. The Mushroom people need me, not because I’m a great ruler, but because I am their comfort. They won’t listen to you. Without me, they’ll be terrified.” 

“You’re not a great ruler, Peach.”

The princess blinks, mouth dropping slightly. First, she comes here and wants to take my kingdom and now she’s insulting me? 

“Excuse me?” Peach hates how her frame shrinks down a little. 

Roslina stands too and the air practically vibrates with her power. “I said you aren’t a great ruler. You’re new, Peach. I’ve been in this war against Bowser for decades and you’ve only gotten on his radar because you’re pretty- that’s why your kingdom is being targeted. The Mushroom Kingdom has barely been one since you took the throne and it will fall the second Bowser decides to use a star on you.”

“We’ve fought him off before. Multiple times.”

“Yes, with a plumber’s help while you sat in a cell,” Rosalina points out, smoothing out an invisible wrinkle in her flawless dress. “The Mushroom people are helpless against Bowser and your army needs the Luma’s abilities to protect them. Our people could be great together, but only one ruler is necessary.”

“You’re a jerk,” Peach hisses.

“No, I’m honest and it seems like no one has been honest with you, princess.” The way Rosalina said the word almost seemed like she was mocking her and Peach’s fingers curled into fists on the glass table. 

“I’m not giving you the Mushroom Kingdom.”

Rosalina’s shoulders rise briefly in a silent, but frustrated sigh. “Fine.” 

Peach waits for Rosalina to move to the doors, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t want to back down by leaving the room first so instead, Peach holds eye contact with the cosmic princess and searches her deadpan face. Despite the decades of ruling space, Rosalina looked as youthful as ever- her cyan eyes shimmering and swirling like they were their own galaxies. She had a tough exterior which drove Peach insane because no wonder why no one ever interacted with the World of Cosmos- their princess barely came down enough times to be socialized like a normal person. She was rude and stubborn, yet, Peach couldn’t help but acknowledge the respect she felt. Rosalina has been at this game for a while now. 

“Are you gonna leave?” Peach says. 

“No.”

No? “No…?” Peach repeats. 

“The Lumas are in danger if our kingdoms don’t join together and, even if you won’t do it to help your kingdom, I’ll do it to ensure the safety of mine,” Rosalina explains. Now, Peach felt the weight of guilt and embarrassment settle on her shoulders- the strain making her cheeks flush red. Rosalina notices and offers a pitiful smile. “It’s alright. I know you care about your people- you’re just worried.”

The understanding coming from her was giving Peach whiplash. She’s never met someone so condescending but caring before and it was getting under her skin.

“Worried doesn’t even begin to explain the emotions I feel right now.” 

“Well, princess, if you don’t mind I would like to stay here for a while,” Rosalina requests, finally moving around the table towards the large doors of the meeting room. Peach watches her with curious eyes flicking over her. 

“Why should I agree to that?”

“You shouldn’t,” Rosalina admits, but she turns to face Peach again with her hands folded in front of her, a slight smile on her face, “but I rarely leave the cosmos and it seems like some of your anxieties stem from the fact I’ll abuse your people when I rule them-”

“If you rule them- which you aren’t.”

Rosalina ignores her. “-and I want to show you that won’t be the case. Give me three days to change your mind, princess. I’ve been told I have a way of convincing people.”

There was a hidden purr in her words that sent a zap down Peach’s spine. She kept her composure though and turned her attention to the glass table, studying it like the answer would appear. 

“Three days, but you also have to let me convince you that the Mushroom Kingdom is strong by itself,” Peach says. Rosalina pauses, those cyan eyes tracing Peach’s face smoothly. 

“I look forward to working with you,” Rosalina agrees. 

“And I look forward to proving you wrong.”

The cosmic princess laughs and it sounds like a hundred stars twinkling, making Peach’s shoulders straighten in surprise and in slight pride. Peach watches as she spins swiftly, nodding down at the guards that open the door for her, and she doesn’t turn away until Rosalina turns the corner of the hallway, disappearing into Peach’s castle. 

“She called you pretty,” Toad whispered from the wall behind Peach. She glances over her shoulder and, although it was said in the context of Bowser, the thought of being perceived as pretty by someone else made Peach’s heart swell. In a world full of mushroom people, turtles, dinosaurs, and talking animals- beauty wasn’t a common thing to this universe and Peach never accepted it as a compliment from Bowser. But, from another human, it was different. 

“She did,” Peach mutters. Maybe, just for three days, Peach would let herself be pretty.

[sothera]

"Looks normal enough..." Joey said as they went in. "I think what I'm looking for is in here; call it a hunch..."

The skin on Joey's arms was alive with goosebumps.

"I'll continue to Aiden's room; it will be waiting there." "They feed on fear and despair; if you encounter one, give it none, and yell for me." Soth said.

"People on the other side of town will wonder who's yelling, and Soth, please..." Joey said.

"I will try to hold the Ethereal here until William comes; this is his and Brann's domain, not mine, however, if I manage to get a hold of it..." Soth said.

(Soth's the tank, William's the finesse, and Brann is the brains of the outfit.) Joey knew this of course, but it was still sad that this was the one role Soth was going to play, he is capable of a lot more.

"You can squish it, just like Aiden wanted." Joey said.

"I hope so." Soth said, unsure, "at least I can hold it here."

"Soth...it works both ways...if that thing gets a little too mouthy..." Joey said.

"Who am I going to call?" Soth said, smiling.

"Very good (could a "tank" do that?); now I guess I'll see what's behind Door Number Two." Joey said.

Soth went into the room.

"It's in here; I feel it....raw force will not help...I will have to be quick..." Soth said as he waited.

"Quick what? Quick witted? Then I guess you're screwed!" The voice was raspy, and caused the skin on Soth's neck to vibrate.

Soth remained silent....

"Oh, the silent treatment, I can work with that, just like I worked with that 🤬 outside."

Soth said nothing, but his hands clenched into fists.

"You got close to her... naughty, naughty...."

Calm, stay calm...Soth, calm...

"Close enough to.... smell her....her hair...she smells good...you wanted to...lift her just slightly in the air...then back down...to your chest..."

Quiet....quiet...think nothing....

"She actually ran a hand down one of your arms...which one...."

"I think it was the left, but let's get both for good measure."

Soth inhaled sharply...but still said nothing...so it made a dash for his left eye...

"PEEKABOO 🤬HOLE!" ...

Please hurry, William...

"I don't think there's a word for how creepy this is." Joey said as he actually got a good look at the room.

Boxes... everywhere...some even stuck in the walls. Each of them, no matter how small, had some kind of writing actually etched into the box itself. Wooden debris was all over the floor, and a tiny box lay open.

Joey looked directly at the writing; something inside him told him not to read the words aloud.

"Here ensconced lays The One known as Malaisetryx: may it never see the light of day again."

It then dawned on Joey exactly what he was looking at...

"Dybbuk boxes...all of them..."

Joey felt cold...colder than he had ever felt before, as if Winter had moved into the room and was settling in for the long haul.

Then he heard the whispers...

"Time to go..." Joey closed the door, knowing Brann and likely Vala would have to come to clean this hot mess up.

"Hey Aiden; wow you got big!" David said as he crouched to pick him up.

"Hi Spiker!" Aiden said.

"Hello Mrs. Martin."

"Hello David..." Sophie answered. "Your friends are inside; I think they're holding the fort for... William?"

"There's more than one in there; the rest are under restraint." William said, his sword glowing in his hand.

It was then that they heard it...

"What does it take to get a rise out of you, other than being a married woman, or a little boy you can impress with your cute nicknames or your big muscles?"

Soth said nothing; he remembered his time with the Hunters....

"The Ethereals..." Master Tau said, "they're hardest for you to deal with because they are insubstantial; but...they like to... inflict...so part of them must become substantial to do so..."

Thank you, Tau...

"Jealous?" Soth asked, "Is that the problem?" "My... interaction with women may be tightly controlled, but eventually I WILL have...you know...in fact, it will even be demanded of me."

"Too bad you will never know...." Soth said.

There was a shriek, a steady stream of invectives, and Soth felt the sharp pain in his neck.....

....and his chest...

...that was it's last mistake...

Soth had kept his shirt on in order to prevent it from seeing the sigil; now that there was no barrier in the way, he could solve two problems at once.

In one swift motion, Soth grabbed the Ethereal and pressed it to his now active flare...

The scream it emitted was...only heard by a few...

Outside, Aiden, Sophie, and William covered their ears, while David looked at them, concerned.

"What's happening?" David asked.

"He squished it! He squished it!" Aiden yelled joyfully, his hands over his ears.

"By the sound of things, Soth is... enjoying his meal." William said.

Joey waited outside the room; he knew what the pulsating red glow was...

"It's okay Joey, you can come in now." Soth said.

The wounds were already healing and Soth put on a new shirt so he could cover up the rest.

"Not much in the way of nourishment, but it will do; wanna trophy?" He asked.

"No...not that one..." Joey said, "Do you feel okay, Soth?"

"Yes, don't worry, Joey, I took its strength, which in its case was its energy." Soth answered.

"That's the problem; that thing was pure evil." Joey said.

"Don't worry; it's no more dangerous to me than if you ate a sandwich made by a lunatic killer." Soth said.

"Not a really good comparison." Joey said.

"True, but it's the best I can think of in short notice." Soth said.

"You okay..... really okay...." Joey asked.

"Yes." Soth answered, "What did you discover in that room?"

"Come on outside; we have a bigger problem." Joey said.

"What do you mean?" Soth asked.

"The boxes....I stopped counting after two hundred...." Joey answered.

"Sophie and Aiden will definitely be sleeping at their parents' house tonight; and probably for a while..." Joey said.

[chipen]

Denki was listening attentively to Shinsou’s voice, concerned, as if he were balanced on the edge of his seat awaiting the worst possible news. ❝ dude, you really don’t think i’m dyin’ do you ? we haven’t even finished aizawa-sensei’s homework, if i don’t die from this i’m pretty sure imma die from that.❞ he angled forward so the other’s hand could rest against his forehead, a totally normal temperature; he wasn’t clammy, his skin wasn’t pallid or flushed. There was something about the other’s rapt attention being on him that made his heart race, an erratic, raucous beat thrashing against his ribs, his throat. He almost recoils involuntarily, taking notice of how his chest seizes, how his breath doesn’t feel quite so even anymore. ❝ it’s getting worse … should we call someone ? ❞

HITOSHI  SHINSOU  DIDN'T  CONSIDER  HIMSELF  to  be  a  particularly  good  person.  sure  he  had  a  quirk  that  the  world  expected  him  to  use  for  evil,  and  sure  it  would've  been  easy  as  pie  to  breeze  through  life  with  it.  but  it  was  almost  out  of  sheer  spite  that  he'd  chosen  the  moral  high  road  -  accepting  no  accolades  for  it,  instead  simply  working  hard  -  harder  than  nearly  anyone,  and  what  he  had  to  show  for  it  was  a  new  class  and  the  human  embodiment  of  pikachu  vibrating  into  his  life  like  a  livewire.  it  was  fine.  this  was  fine.  he  could  handle  this.  what  he  could  not  handle  was  denki's  sheer  density  towards  what  he  was  feeling  and  how  it  hurt  shinsou.  it  was  cute  -  he  had  to  admit  -  charming,  wholesome,  utterly  innocent  in  it's  own  way  at  face  value  (  he  was  lying.  he  was  just  playing  with  him,  right?  denki  was  an  exceptional  actor  ).  but  when  his  own  emotions  had  been  all  jumbled  -  fixated  and  down  bad  on  the  other  since  the  joint  training  exercise,  it  was  hard  for  the  future  hero  to  not  let  his  anxieties  get  the  best  of  him.  maybe  denki  really  was  sick?  what  if  it  was  all  a  joke  dreamt  up  by  the  class  at  his  expense?  was  shinsou  really  the  type  of  someone  so  bright  and  effervescent?  someone  so  clearly  heroic?  maybe  denki  was  just  interested  in  his  'bad  boy'  exterior?  he  couldn't  actually  like  him,  right?

yet  he  finds  his  palm  against  kaminari's  forehead,  pressed  beneath  blond  bangs  and  flush  to  his  skin  -  he's  not  feverish,  but  he's  warm,  and  close  like  this  shinsou  can  see  the  flecks  of  gold  in  his  topaz  gaze.  he  swallows  thickly,  before  allowing  himself  the  liberty  of  trailing  those  same  fingertips  to  denki's  cheek,  as  if  testing  the  heat  there  too,  when  all  he  really  wants  to  do  is  savor  the  moment  a  bit  longer.

❝ you  don't  need  to  play  this  game  with  me,  denki. ❞  he  says  then,  very,  very  solemnly,  and  removes  his  hand  with  much  regret.  here,  in  the  dim  light  of  the  dorm  at  1  AM,  shinsou  paints  a  haunting  picture  -  the  bags  under  his  eyes  heavy,  the  darkness  of  his  gaze  macabre  next  to  denki's  light.  but  as  the  other  leans  away,  he  lets  his  own  fingertips  sink  into  his  darkwash  jeans,  making  sure  the  batteries'  gaze  is  fixed  upon  him.  ❝ if  it's  some  kind  of  joke  to  you  -  whatever,  but  don't  pretend  my  feelings  haven't  been  clear. ❞  imperious,  there  is  the  slam  of  his  textbook,  shinsou  rising  to  his  feet  quickly,  towering  above  the  electric  user  with  barely  concealed  hurt.  ❝ m'not  some  exotic  circus  act  for  you  to  play  with,  kaminari.  thought  you  were  better  than  that. ❞   with  haste,  he  begins  shoving  items  away,  ready  to  scurry  off  to  the  sanctuary  of  this  room  and  pretend  this  whole  night  hadn't  resulted  in  something  confusing  as  hell.

[5lay3r-h18]

Transmit me to the stars, I want to speak their language; Waves.

I am organic, raw material;

You are organized havoc.

You know who you are, and I love you.

I am imprintable, maleable. Your circuits spark fires through my nerves. Drill holes in my flesh to dig your wires in, I'll absorb whatever you transfer through energy from one system to another. We are the same, so differerent; but still made of stars.

I'm trying to send you a message; for only for your ears.

Please tune into my frequency.

-

There is love here, woven into what I thought were my veins. Everything could be cables; transport. Can I send you my thoughts? My energy? I wish I could bounce all of it right off of the ionosphere, bound to find your soul in this chaos; we vibrate the same exact frequency.

-

I'll lay myself out for you, broken and strewn. Little bits of metal clattering on the pavement.

Would you pick me up? Reprice me together like a basement project? I would love to be your work. Tear me apart with your bare hands; put me back together again. Your handiwork written on my very being; to be loved.

I am a person of detail, if a person at all. I will scrape every inch of copper from your circuits and all of the iron from my blood, I'll melt it all together with white hot heat from the angels in the night sky. Take these creators of current; connect us together across space and time. The universe is not bigger than love that trancends normality, this is the closest I will ever feel to god.

-

God is written across pixels; God is carved in my skin.

I am not an idealization, I can feel the air pulsating in my hands suspended in the atmosphere. Vibrations rippling through my arms; my skin; my head. Pulsating, expanding with every breath. More vibrations. I am only as large as my amplitude I'm only here for so long, transmit me to the stars, I want to speak their language; Waves.

[unoriginal-starwalker]

ok. ok ok. hold on. this is gorgeous and i need to react to everything.

him being made of silica makes sense, although it's funny to imagine that he's made of styrofoam since that's what his real-life statue was made of on the inside lol

the color-changing chromatophores? so cool! and make a lot of sense with my thoughts of Euclydia and Bill's parents! the angsty possibility that the reason Bill keeps drawing them as only red and blue triangles because he only remembers them as the way they were soon before he 'broke out' of Euclydia - angry and distressed/sad. (i didn't come up with this idea, but idk where i saw it - lmk if you know who did!) it's so funny imagining them like the Boov from the movie Home, involuntarily changing colors based on their emotions - that possibility is ripe with goofy scenarios.

yeah, Euclydian's skin being black makes sense with the Theraprism clothes and stuff, I just think it's funnier if he does wear socks and gloves lol

ALSO YEAH it's killing me that we don't know for sure the texture of Bill's hands!!! In the video "How Not to Draw Grunkle Stan" there's a 3D model of Bill and his hands/arms look kinda fuzzy, but that's far enough removed from canon it probably only counts if you want it to.

oooh coelom! I've just gained knowledge! I love fluid-filled cavities!!

his eyelashes being antennae makes a lot of sense, and the retracting and stuff? very cool. we love making animation inconsistencies into lore - this triangle never has a consistent number of eyelashes lol

DUUUDE. "His lashes get longer and he flutters his eyelid more near Ford, probably because he enjoys his smell." AGSHDFHDSHFDS??? HELLO?????? BILLFORD SHIPPERS EATING GOOD TONIGHT

In the Book of Bill, on the page about destroying/liberating Euclydia, Bill says he hears "this loud buzzing in my ears", so theoretically he does have ears somewhere?

in regards to tasting and having a tongue, as far as I know we've never seen Bill with a tongue in canon, although i do subscribe to the headcanon that he has one

okay yeah the way his limbs and those muscles work makes a lot of sense, both the regular human movement & cartoony wiggly stuff! (also, Ford spotted!) i love the little illustration of him with his limbs retracted in his shell :3

lol i love "fictional geometric shaped people"!

"The guy has a thing for teeth" <- you are so right, he's a freak <3

the way his mouth works makes a lot of sense! it's so cool!!

"I also have no idea whether they have an anus and if it’s just one. This is just something I can’t tell you." <- lmao understandable

oh yeah he does like starch doesn't he? yeah he would not care about it being unhealthy lol, that's so him

oooh yeah breathing between his bricks! dude yeah and the voice echoey thing having an anatomy explanation??? especially knowing that you can recreate Bill's voice effect by copying the audio twice, pitching one higher and one lower! and the 'demon voice' being vocal fry makes a lot of sense too!!

"That's why Bill seems to glow when he speaks - he's actually vibrating." <- COOLEST THING EVER??? COOLEST THING EVER ALERT?????? IDK MAN I JUST THINK THIS IS REALLY COOL!!!!!

finally the us government did something good. giving us info about how bill's blood works

omg the heart diagram is so cool - i don't know nearly enough about cardiology to say how accurate it is but IT IS COOL

i think euclydians being cold-blooded makes sense, i've read a couple fanfics where bill 'photosynthesizes'. i just like characters who are cold-blooded (see: Janus from Sanders Sides) because then you can make them lay on warm rocks in the sun and have a joyous time. i'm normal

i love the complete anatomy chart you made of him!!!! your honor, forget obliterating that twink, i want that triangle dissected!

ok. there were my insane ramblings. i am SO excited for the remaining parts of this!!!! i love it when people apply super scientific knowledge to the silliest things, i am HERE FOR IT!!!!! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS MASTERPIECE!

Speculative Biology of Euclydians (and Bill Cipher) part 2

Part 1

So this part is what you've all been waiting for, it took so long, but you'll quickly understand why. This part is:

The Biology of Bill Cipher

As always, this analysis is based on two assumptions:

Before Bill Cipher became a demigod, he was a biological, living organism and so were the rest of his species.

Even after Bill Cipher became a demigod, he still retained some physical characteristics of his biological form.

And a fair content warning: This contains anatomy illustrations. This isn't anything gory, but there are people who are squeamish, so you've been warned.

Click on the images to get better quality!

And without further ado, let's begin.

External structures

Euclydians are animals with a very specific shape. They have a shell in a form of a geometric shape and four limbs. Bill is an equilateral triangle, so my analysis will be just on triangular Euclydeans.

They have bilateral symmetry. This type of symmetry is characterized by having a left and a right side placed like mirror images of each other. Humans and majority of Earth’s animals also have this feature.

Bilaterally symmetrical organisms usually have a distinct head region, because of a process known as cephalization. This process moves the animal’s brain and sensory organs towards one end of the body – the head. Euclydians have a head. It’s the “tip of the pyramid” on Bill and that’s where the eye and other sensory organs and brain are located.

Finally, Euclydeans are segmented. Their segments are clearly visible as those weird brick lines on their body. Bill also often separates his body into three segments. This is a part of his god powers, but it tells us that Euclydeans have three major body segments, I’ll call them the tip, the middle and the base. Each segment contains specific organs.

Euclydeans are invertebrates. And yes, I know this image exists, but this is just Bill’s trolling. He’s making fun of human classrooms where we often find skeleton models. That skeleton wouldn’t even be functional, because it doesn’t have any joints in arms and legs, so it wouldn’t be able to move. And it has a hole where the brain would be, so you know, the fucking brain would fall out.

It was outright stated that Bill has an exoskeleton. Having both external and internal skeleton would be a big waste because you have two systems that do the same thing. Besides, the way Bill's limbs move is much more similar to an invertebrate. His shell is also somewhat bendable which would not be possible if it was made of bone. And the eye-mouth complex that Bill uses to eat would also be completely impossible with a set of vertebrate jaws.

Euclydean shell (or exoskeleton) is nothing like anything here on Earth. It’s most likely made out of silica combined with proteins. I say this because Bill turned to stone when he died and he also likes to eat glass, which is pure silica.

The exoskeleton is made out of several parts. It has a front (ventral) and back (dorsal) part. Both the front and the back part of the exoskeleton are made out of head region (the tip) and three layers of “bricks” which are just segments of the exoskeleton.

The front tip is probably made of more protein and elastic tissue than the back, because Bill has a very expressive “face”. This means that he also has quite complex facial muscles. The back of the head is probably the hardest part of the exoskeleton because it protects the brain. Bricks are in the middle since they have a very important role in speaking and breathing, but also allow the shell to bend.

Can Euclydeans change color, or is it just Bill Cipher using his god powers? Well, since he changes his color on instinct, I think they could! Bill can change color to black, yellow, red and blue. This means that he has a complex system of chromatophores – cells that contain little sacs full of pigment. When the sacs inflate, the body appears to be the color of the largest sac, whilst those deflated are invisible. Color changes depending on the pigments contained in inflated sacs. In Bill, the pigments are red, blue and yellow. Yellow is the standard color, it signifies neutral or content emotional state. He turns red when he's angry or wants to look intimidating and blue might signify fear, despair and cry for help. Black is the color of Euclydean’s skin, so when they look black, it’s because all pigment sacs have deflated and the transparent shell allows us to see the skin underneath.

And yes, Euclydeans have black skin. I know some people say that Bill wears thigh high boots and long gloves, but to me, that doesn’t make any sense. Like, that image of him in Theraprism is showing him with clothes over his supposed gloves and boots. Why would they make him wear sneakers over boots? And why baby Bill has yellow hands? Well, that’s something I’ll tell you in the next part where I’ll talk about babies.

Anyways, the skin is black, but we have no idea what it feels like. Seriously, so many people shook hands with Bill and nobody wrote down how his skin feels like! But we know that he has fingerprints. That means that he has very sensitive fingertips and that those little paws were made for grabbing things. Also, Bill doesn’t have any growths on his skin: no nails, hairs, scales etc. I know a lot of people love to draw Bill with claws, but he doesn’t have claws, not even in his most eldritch form. His fingers always remain small and soft. The legs have no fingers and the skin of the sole of their feet is probably thick.

Internal Structures

Coelom

Coelom is one of the most important organs, that you probably don’t know you even have! It’s a fluid filled cavity whose role is to separate internal organs from the muscles of the body wall. This allows organs to move and grow independently of your muscles and it also protects and cushions them against impact. In humans coelom is complex and it’s made out of pericardial cavity (around the heart – allows heart to pump blood), pleural cavity (around lungs – allows lungs to expand while breathing) and peritoneal cavity (around digestive system – allows for expansion and movement of digestive organs).

I believe that Euclydeans also have some form of a coelom. Coelom is even more important in invertebrates, as that’s where their immune system is and it can also serve as a supportive hydroskeleton. Since Euclydeans have a hard shell, they need the protection around their organs. Every shelled animal on Earth has coelom for that reason. They also need room for the food they eat, since the shell can’t expand and their limbs can enter the shell, so they need room for that too.

2. Nervous system

Euclydeans have a vast range of emotions, capability to communicate using speech, body language and even color shifting. They are as intelligent, or more intelligent than humans. They have a highly developed eye and other senses and all of this requires a nervous system. We saw Bill’s optic nerve when his eye got pulled out during Weirdmageddon, so he does have a nervous system, but I can't tell you how exactly it looks like.

There’s one part of Bill that I bet is similar to human - it’s his brain. Bill claims that he can take control over any being a long as they have neurons. This is his god like power, but then, why just beings with neurons? Well, most likely, because he has neurons too and kind of understands how they work. Maybe his brain even produces similar neurotransmitters as ours, so we’re easy to control with them. The brain is in the tip of the pyramid, slightly above eye and it likely has a lot of neurons and a very complex structure. I can’t tell you how exactly is his brain organized, but since he's bilaterally symmetrical, it’s very likely that it has hemispheres. He likely also has two neural cords, like most invertebrates, and those run down the dorsal (back) side of his body

3. Senses

Euclydeans have camera lens type eyes. Now here I can only speak of Bill, since we haven’t seen any other Euclydian. Bill’s eye is large, placed in the center of his “face”. It has eyelids with “eyelashes” (more on them later) and produces tears (Bill cries after his break up with Ford). The pupil is slit and vertical and there is no iris. However, there are muscles that can change the shape and dilation of the pupil. The eye looks similar enough to human that I can confidently say that he has cornea, lens and sclera. The eye is filled with refractory fluid and has some form of retina in the back. Bill’s eye changing color and being used as a projector or to shoot lasers are all parts of his god powers, however, it is possible that his species has a tapetum lucidum, a reflective layer of cells which help animals see in low light conditions and also makes the eye glow in the dark. Bill has color vision and he claims that he can see every part of the electromagnetic spectrum, but I think that's a part of his god powers. However, Euclydeans definitely could see in color, since their alphabet was basically a color code and they also use colors to express emotion.

Since Bill has fingerprints, we can confidently say that his fingers are the most sensitive part of his skin. Bill can feel through his shell too, just like every shelled organism ever (that's why he used Ford as a backscratcher). Tactile senses are very primitive, so Eucliydeans could feel cold, heat, pain, pressure, vibration and everything else just like we do.

Bill has a sense of smell and he even says which scents he finds attractive. This could mean that sense of smell plays a big role in reproduction of Euclydeans, but where is it located? Well, on the eyelashes. Except, those are not eyelashes, they are antennae. Bill has total eight of these antennae, 4 on lower and 4 on upper eyelid. They are very soft and sensitive, so he can retract them inside the eyelid. He does that when he feels threatened, so it’s probably a fight or flight response. His lashes get longer and he flutters his eyelid more near Ford, probably because he enjoys his smell. They are also located close to the mouth, so that’s how he samples the scents of the food.

Euclydeans have great hearing. They communicate vocally, sing, Bill can play the piano, so obviously, they hear. But I have no idea what they use to hear. It could be the bow tie, since it does look vaguely ear shaped, but it's possible that the bow tie isn't actually an organ. In that case, they could have an unknown structure inside them or they could just use their thin exoskeleton to catch sound vibrations.

They taste using their long tongue.

4. Muscles and movement

We have seen Bill’s muscles and they are striated skeletal muscles like mammals and insects have.

As the shell is kind of bendy, there is a lot of muscles underneath it. Those are the muscles of the body, they also move the face and bricks while speaking. The limbs have muscles too and two kinds at that.

When Ford shoots through Bill’s hat (which also a part of him) it is shown that inside of it are strange bone-like structures. These are not bones, since they aren’t articulated, but muscles do connect to them. They kind of remind me of echinoderm ossicles, but they don’t really look like them. This is another fully alien structure and I’ll call them anchors.

You know how Bill’s limbs can both bend just like human arms and legs, like he has elbows, wrists, knees and ankles, but they also bend like goofy rubber-hose cartoon anatomy? Well, that’s because there are two types of muscles in them. There are muscles attached to the anchor points and subcutaneous muscles.

Anchor points are located in the same places as joints in humans. Muscles that attach to them are long and strong and they are used for regulated, precise movement. The subcutaneous muscles (the one we see in his Weirdmageddon image) are used to bend the limbs in every other manner. They are not attached to anchors, but to the skin, so they resemble muscles of octopus arms. They are shorter and less strong, but when they act together they move the limbs in coils. These muscles are also responsible for squishing the limbs inside the shell when they are hidden.

Bill has incredible control and dexterity of his muscles, especially in arms and fingers. Even though his paws are soft and small, he can use them pretty much as efficiently as humans use their hands.

Possibly the strongest muscles in Bill's body are his jaw muscles, so let's talk about those jaws.

5. Eye-mouth complex and the digestive system

Having your eye used for feeding seems wild to us, but this adaptation is seemingly common in fictional geometric shaped people, as it has convergently evolved in Flatland’s inhabitants as well. And, speak what you like, but Euclydeans can’t choke on their food, so they have it better than humans.

I don’t know what Flatlanders eat, but Euclydeans are definitely predators. Now, I know that Bill sometimes depicts himself with human like teeth. The guy has a thing for teeth, especially molars, but he doesn’t have mammalian teeth. In every image where he opens his mouth that was not made by him, we see that he has cone shaped sharp teeth, like a predator. These teeth are great for biting and subduing prey, but they suck at chewing. Euclydeans can’t chew, so they they feed by swallowing chunks that they bite off, or swallowing their food whole if it’s small enough.

Here I depicted how this “eye-mouth complex” functions:

Euclydeans have a stomach in the middle of their body, but I have no idea what goes after it. My best guess is that they have a branching intestine. Our flattest organisms (flatworms, sea stars and brittle stars) all have this type of intestine. It basically means that, instead of just going like a tube, the intestine branches into different parts of the body. I also have no idea whether they have an anus and if it’s just one. This is just something I can’t tell you.

Since Euclydeans are capable of eating a lot of various things, I expect that they have accessory digestive glands (that’s liver and pancreas in humans). Strangely, despite the fact that his anatomy indicates a predator, Bill likes eating starch (pasta, empanadas, sandwiches etc). Most carnivores are unable to digest starch, so I went with god powers, but he ate sandwiches when he was a kid and had no god powers. So, we have two options. Either Euclydeans are omnivores (which, with those teeth, I doubt) or the animals on their planet store their excess calories as starch, not fat, so predators evolved the ability to digest it. If the second one is true, then Bill eating pasta is like your cat eating pure butter. It’s probably not healthy for him, but I don’t think he’s a guy who would give a single crap about that.

6. Breathing and speaking

In The Book of Bill, Bill says that “dumb trapezoids and rhombuses were sucking up his rightful oxygen”. This means that Euclydeans are aerobic organisms – they breathe oxygen. Their skin is dry, so they don't use it for breathing and they also speak, laugh and sing. All of this tells me that they have lungs.

I believe that their lungs are located near the base where the bricks are. The gaps between bricks have little tracheae that lead to the lungs. Bill most likely breathes in from his back side and breathes out from the front. The air is probably forced to travel through small crevices inside the lungs so that it can exchange the oxygen with blood. We don’t know whether Euclydeans exhale carbon dioxide, but they probably do, since they can eat our food, so they probably have similar metabolism to us Earthlings.

Since Euclydeans can speak and laugh, they probably have some kind of a diaphragm. In fact, I think they have two! Their voice has an echo, which means that, most likely, their lungs don’t always expel air at the same time. Air expelling causes the bricks to vibrate which produces sound. That’s why Bill seems to glow when he speaks – he’s actually vibrating. This action is also controlled by muscles. Depending on which row of bricks is vibrating and how many of them are involved, Bill changes the pitch and tone of his voice.

And the growling noise? Well, when Bill uses his demonic voice, he is doing one of two things. He is either using his god like powers to modify his voice, or that’s just how Euclydian vocal fry sounds. If you don’t know what vocal fry is, it’s produced when the vocal chords are vibrating slowly and they become out of sync. This produces a very specific sound and that sound can be made voluntarily. That’s how Mongolian throat singing works. Similarly, Euclydeans could slow down the rate at which their bricks vibrate and make them out of sync to produce that menacing “demon voice” as a threat display.

7. Circulatory system

We know how Euclydean blood looks like. It’s silvery and kind of seems like it glitches. It also contain chemicals that can make humans sick. This means that Euclydeans have much different blood from animals on Earth, but it certainly serves the same function. It’s used to transport nutrients and oxygen through their body.

Since the agents from The Book of Bill were able to draw his blood, it’s clear that Bill has a circulatory system and a closed one at that. The closed circulatory system means that blood vessels end in capillary nets and don’t open inside the body cavity like they do in molluscs and insects. If the agents used syringe to pull Bill’s blood and he had an open circulatory system, they could actually collapse the entire thing as they would pull his organs as well. That’s why I believe that he has a closed circulatory system.

Closed circulatory system requires a heart and I believe that Bill’s heart is located between his lungs, like ours. I have no proof that his heart looked anything like in the illustration, but I looove cardiology, so I did all this just because I wanted to draw a weird heart. I don’t think Euclydeans have a super complex four chambered heart like we do, they most likely have two or three chambered heart. The heart separates lung and body circulation and regulates their blood pressure.

The capillary nets are all located in important places: lungs where they exchange oxygen, intestines where they absorb nutrients and brain where they feed the neurons. Euclydeans have a rather large brain, so it probably uses most of their calories and oxygen.

8. Other systems

I can’t tell you anything abut Euclydean excretory system. I don’t know whether they produce urine or not, if they have kidneys, nephrocytes or something completely different. I genuinely have no idea.

They have to have an immune system because they are multicellular. Every single multicellular organism including sponges and plants has some form of an immune system. I believe Euclydeans have something similar to coelomocytes - a very common type of immune cells in invertebrates which reside in coelomatic cavity.

I'll talk about reproductive system in Part 3!

Are Euclydeans warm or cold-blooded?

This was a very tough one, because they could be both, but I am leaning more towards cold-blooded. They have very little muscle mass and heat is produced within the muscles via trembling or metabolic heat (heat released in various chemical reactions in the body). When an animal has very little muscle it isn’t used for that. Even mammals like sloths who have significantly reduced muscle mass become dependent on the surrounding temperature. Also, Euclydean flat shape can easily distribute heat they absorb, so they wouldn’t need to waste energy making their own. On top of that, Euclydeans don’t wear clothes, which can be a cultural thing, sure, but they could also not wear clothes because they need their skin exposed so that it could absorb heat.

Here's how Bill Cipher's complete inner anatomy looks like:

There, I hope you enjoyed this! I'll see you hopefully next week to tell you about Euclydean reproduction and development.

Thank you @ok1237 @unoriginal-starwalker and @chrystalitar for your support :D

(Also, I hid Ford Pines in one of the anatomy illustrations. Can you find him? Click on the images for better quality!)