#i am basically trying to push myself off a cliff

[baekuras]

i havent done more bUT at the very least i finally started dusting off my resume so i am more prepared to actually change my life than before

fucking terrifying at every step and this hellscape of a life may never end but change doesnt come from doing the same shit over and over so smths gotta give

[transingthoseformers]

Basically, after Chromedome tried to throw him off a cliff, which led to Ultra Magnus having to pull him out of a Constructicon pile instead of getting to berate Prowl, he disappeared. Locked down and hid so the trial went on with Prowl watching the livestream and only emailing a few people. By the time people are looking around for him, Optimus, after their brief talk and his email to check on the Lost Light, which led to baby time, he's gone fully underground.

Ironhide made a few attempts but assumed the Starscream thing is why they aren't speaking. Wheeljack tried to eventually but couldn't find him. Only when Optimus Prime suspiciously side eyes Starscrema do people at large notice Devstator is missing.

This unnerves everyone, and Chromedome gets a lot of incredible side eye because the last confirmed sighting was Chromedome attempting to push him off a cliff.

Prowl showing up nearly a year later when First Aid and company temporarily show up to Luna-1 to make contact and find it crawling with Consructiprowl Babies and a Spider Baby with Fort Max attempting to learn knitting from Prowl (he likes the number patterns) and Tarantulas (the silk has multiple uses including medical and construction which he discovered with Hook and Mixmaster that Tara is getting on with a startling amount). He is then forced to Zoom Cybertron and Optimus Prime as proof, and everyone has to deal with the fact he keeps pausing to say things like "Black Arachnia do not bite your brother. Grimlock take your sister to Max. He brought home some turbofoxes for her to practice hunting on his last trip." and "Excuse me. I must go remove my son from Red Alert’s office. He is attempting to build a functional suspension bridge out of the extra comm parts again." and bending out of sight to whisper "Ask your sire. Mix should have some juice boxes. If not torment Max. He keeps a stash he thinks I am unaware of." while occasionally bouncing a round many legged black and gold blob with teeth occasionally.

Of course, it could have been resolved sooner if anyone thought to ask Springer who got a group zoom months ago to introduce him to his new sibling.

Informed to please tell us important developments doesn't improve things because then a year and a half later he sends out a birth announcement of Chase and Strongarm who were born from "a mutually agreed upon by all committed parties resolving of emotional and sexual tension from myself and Fortress Maximus".

The Luna-1 Polycule is incomprehensible to most.

Prowl spends him time sending out judgemental and vaguely ominous unasked for memos with his opinions on current and sometimes secret events to people as he calls in his spies and continues to den down mostly in relative secret and peace because he'd probably murser Megatron and anyone else pinging his danger sense on sight given his current active protocols.

Which is fair as hell, I mean as much as an asshole Prowl is known to be it's fair he bolted after being thrown off a cliff

Also they livestreamed the trial

Makes sense he'd still wanna figure out what's going on with the LL

Optimus: Starscream

Starscream: ?

Optimus: what did you do

Starscream: what do you mean "wHaT dId yOu dO"

Optimus: I mean, Starscream what did you do

I mean logical to think Chromedome may be at fault because the cliff pushing

The fact that we set a (relatively to million year robots) short carrying period is leading to so many cool baby boom consequences

Also awww on Fort Max trying to knit, also makes sense Prowl and Tara would like to knit

Less aww and more shhffjfjf on Mix and Hook learning the more useful applications of alien spider silk via getting freaky with Tarantulas

First Aid: oh so you were here

Yess on all the cute little pause moments, dear fuck yes that's adorable as hell Prowl it is it is

Sparkling!BlackArachnia has to be so cute too like yes

oh Springer. I hope he's got like a notebook to keep track of this mess of a family too.

Mutually agreed upon by all committed partners resolving of the emotional and sexual tension from myself and Fort Max

Aka, those two were advised to fuck each other's brains out

Love how Prowl has grown into this sort of mostly remote role into this with most of his interactions outside of the moon being online but him certainly wanting to know what's going on. Especially since for him, parenthood has ultimately made him even more aggressive and anxious towards those he does not like. I pity anyone who arrives on Luna-1 meaning harm.

[forever-fan]

My FNAF Hyperfixation has inspired me!

So I've been reading a bunch of FNAF time travel fix-it fics. If you don't know what I am referring to, they are basically fics where Michael/William/Henry/basically anyone else finds themselves in the past by some circumstance. They then try to fix the future.

Now that you know what I'm talking about I can actually get to the point. I have decided to write a FNAF time travel fix-it fic. It is tied to an AU, so don't come at me about "canon". Here is a sneak peek at it.

-

Michael wished he died in the fire. Well, technically he was already dead. He had no pulse and he couldn't breathe. His brain had long since stopped working and he got his energy from Remnant rather than digesting food. In all reality, he was a stubborn spirit trapped within his own corpse.

Michael hadn't died in the fire that Henry had set. Hell, his body was barely harmed. All he remembered was passing out before waking up in a random alley. Michael realized someone saved him, but now he was even more alone than ever before.

When the Mega Pizzaplex opened on top of Michael's old restaurant, he knew there would be trouble. Sure enough, there was. Michael took a job as a security guard and found that, while they weren't murderous, the animatronics weren't quite right.

Michael also found his fellow guard, Vanessa, to be a little shifty. She turned out to be way more than shifty when she pushed him into the daycare ball pit from a height that would have maimed or killed anyone else.

Michael's afterlife only got worse when he emerged from the ball pit and found that he was back in Fredbear's Family Diner in 1980.

-

This short introduction obviously doesn't tell you all the fun little headcanons that I have for this fic. I guess you'll just have to read it to find out. Of course, I haven't written in yet. But! I am so hyped about the movie that I think I'll probably finish the first chapter before twenty-four hours have passed.

[Edit: My entire document on Microsoft Word deleted itself from reality... RIP. So... I'm rewriting the first chapter all over again. :> And trust me, I looked through all of my files and drives. Let it be known, I have turned on auto-save cause it sucks to rewrite dialogue, and know for a fact that it's not the same as it was. Also, I lost a doc with half of my headcanons for a different fnaf au. Sadness.]

Real quick, I do have only a little bit of important information for anyone who wants to understand the timeline. (Also so I can remember the basic timeline I made for myself.)

Original Timeline

1968 - Michael is born.

1973 - Elizabeth is born.

1974 - Charlie Emily is born.

1975 - Evan is born.

1980 - William discovers something called Remnant.

1981 - The Missing Children Incident happens and Fredbear's barely stays open.

1982 - William begins to create the Funtimes to harvest Remnant.

1983, March - Elizabeth dies at her friend's birthday party, three days after Circus Baby's Pizza World opened.

1983, August - Evan dies a week after the bite of '83. (FNAF 4)

1983, August - Mrs. Afton [Yet to be named] dies after driving her car off a cliff.

1983, October - Charlie is murdered by William at her own birthday party.

1986 - Michael goes to college to get away from the tragedy and gets a little therapy.

1990, April - Michael receives a letter from his father asking him to find Elizabeth.

1990, June - Michael dies in the Sister Location. (FNAF 5)

1991, January - Michael assumes the name 'Fritz Smith' and works at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria before being fired on his first day. (FNAF 2)

1993 - Michael uses the name 'Mike Schmidt' and works at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. (FNAF 1)

1993 - William dies in the Spring Bonnie suit

2000 - Michael works at Fazbear's Fright. (FNAF 3)

2010, Late December - Michael opens Freddy Fazbear Pizza Place. (FNAF 6, Pizzeria Simulator)

2010, Early January - Henry sets the fire, and Michael survives. (Still FNAF 6, Pizzeria Simulator)

2020, July - Michael works at the Mega Pizzaplex and is pushed into the ball pit only six days before the events of Security Breach.

Time Travel Timeline

[To be edited as chapters are added. Peek under the cut only if you have read the most recent chapter, or if you don't give a shit about spoilers.]

1980 - Michael arrives in the past. He is not happy.

[amethystsoda]

It’s kind of cliche how stereotypical my abuse and indoctrination was growing up—

(I guess this is technically a bit of trauma dumping??? But hopefully it’s more like “here are some experiences other traumatized millennials will relate to.” We share in this history together 🤝)

Family was into religious cult activities (aka evangelical pentecostals) and made us spend lots of time at church (good for becoming someone who cares about others and giving, but not good bc brainwashing/shaming/etc)

Only got one year of kindergarten before getting pulled into homeschool after a move. Mother got into talk radio and the conservative brain poisoning.

Not allowed to watch cartoons other than veggie tales. Christian bookstore almost exclusively. Hyper patriotic. ONe nation under GOD!!!!!!! *eagle caw*

Rapture scare and apocalypse fear—don’t deny Jesus if someone tries to shoot you and make you renounce Christ. Forced to watch The Omega Code at way too young. Listened to the audiobooks of all the Left Behind series (content including rapture, natural disasters, assassinations, beheadings for not taking the mark of the beast, etc).

My biggest fear around 7-10 years old was that I would have to be loyal to Jesus and get beheaded. I literally sat around thinking about how scary a guillotine was and how I would have to steel myself to accept that fate.

Also as a Pentecostal family, my parents believed in speaking in tongues. Cue up me at maybe 4 years old being forced to “learn the language” (I was getting no divine insight, no spiritual spark. I was a child with my brain still developing)

but being put into the empty bathtub until “the spirit worked” (aka I faked it and replicated how my parents did it with tear streaked cheeks, just so I could escape that hell).

Spanking as punishment… I wasn’t even that bad of a kid. They just didn’t know how to handle me being an independent thinker and curious.

Talk out problems?? Nah. Open palm spanking your butt will silence you and train you not to talk back. You said something I don’t like??? Time to push you to the wall and grab your chin and yell at you until you “repent.” (No wonder my response eventually was just to shut down.)

It didn’t stop there. When we got older and they didn’t spank as much. It was “you have to pray and repent out loud” “you have to read scripture.” And for someone who went nonverbal during those times, it was so painful to do.

I got diagnosed with adhd in kindergarten but my mom basically said “that doesn’t exist” and ignored it. I had tons of sensory issues and that motor system stuff where you trip or are clumsy a lot. I cried when the crinoline of dresses scratched my legs. I was hyper fixated on red shoes and butterflies.

I had purity training at 9 years old. A sliding scale off a cliff diagram of “dangerous actions” (the start was holding hands. Off the cliff was laying in bed naked and sex).

Growing up fat and constant throat infections but no doctor’s care because “you just need to pray when you’re sick and quote scripture and god will heal you.” The advil? Hidden up in the kitchen cupboard and judgement any time you would reach for it.

I remember never talking about crushes too because everyone would embarrass me. I didn’t know any terms for demisexual/bisexual. I just knew I felt deep love for everyone, and sexual desire for almost no one.

I often think about how things could have been different. How I ended up parenting myself and only relying on myself. No one else would care for me, so I had to.

Sure there were occasionally good moments.

I’m sure my mother was trying her best with my dad constantly at work until late hours.

But it also could have been so much better…

If you also grew up like this, I am holding you so tenderly. I’m holding a warm washcloth to the old wounds and wiping the childhood tears off your face.

I’m giving 10 year old you a mug of hot cocoa and a warm blanket and putting cartoons on. There’s no yelling. No threat of abuse. You’re safe 🫂🫂

We’ve been through so much, but there are better days ahead. 💖💖💖

[bettercostume]

NEYMESSI STAR WARS PART 2 LETS FUCKING GOOOO

previously pt 1 leo and padawan neymar meet and are going to test neymar's force sensitivity.

some cliff notes for the sw universe i am fucking with here:

i cannot bring myself to be like, here's sith lord cristiano ronaldo, so please brace yourself for characters that may be familiar but are not necessarily one to one copies. many are just originals that fill out the story, but Zlatan and ronaldinho get a pass because c'mon man

anakin skywalker and obi wan are somewhere else fighting the clone wars, and will not feature because for similar reasons i can't honestly have neymar and darth vader in the same sentence

this is set at the beginning of the clone wars but it's not important to know anything about anything, really. i sure don't. basically the republic hasn't fallen to sith rule, we're in the dog days of the jedi order before the fall of anakin and the galaxy-wide reach of the emperor. that's all!

Fresh off those disturbing words, offered so easily, Leo leaps from the marbled walkway onto one of the floating training platforms.

The center of the temple is carved out, many stories tall, illuminated by shafts of light that filter down between the rock slabs floating at different levels. At the far end is the mother rock itself, a massive black cliff face where the temple was first carved out of the earth, before Coruscant was a city, before there was a federation. Or so that’s what Leo has been told. A place so old and so present in the force that it can easily support a dozen floating tons of rock, circulate water in an endless loop, keep the lamps lit in unearthly white, call to force users in the deepest depths of space with a luring come home, come home.

Neymar pauses at the edge, one of the railingless spaces where the hall opens into a three-meter drop back down to the first floor. 

“Come on,” Leo says. “It’s just a jump. Here.” 

He twitches his hand, catches him by the belt and pulls Neymar over the space with the force. Neymar’s eyes are wide, but Leo doesn’t sense fear. Just a pulsing excitement. Leo checks around them; so few people are out training, preferring to kit out their new quarters, take part in the long, luxurious banquet in the dining hall, one of the only times food is available in excess. Wartime it may be in the rest of the galaxy but not on the thriving center planet; despite their ascetic existence, even the jedi are blessed with foods Leo hasn't seen in over a decade.  

Neymar is unreadable, so Leo will start small. If there’s nothing there, despite Be’Karr’s kind words, then the kid will be safe.

“This is really high up,” Ney says, peering over the edge. He whistles. 

“We’ll start with a basic breathing exercise,” Leo says, catching his attention. He holds his hands out, palms down. He gestures for Neymar to put his palms up. “You try to push against me. It might be difficult to channel the force at first, so I’ll start with a gentle–”

There’s the warmth of Neymar’s palms, but it barely registers before Leo is slammed upwards into the air, the geyser of power sending him tumbling backwards over his own heels as he whips upwards. He’s only stopped in his flight by colliding with the platform a story above them, smacking into it hard, ringing his head clear like a bell. 

He tastes blood. The force against him is cheerful, bright, overwhelming, flowing through him like sunlight and powerful as a gale. Below him, Neymar has one hand outstretched, braid whipping in the sudden wind. 

Then it’s gone and Leo is plummeting back, just catching himself in time to land neatly, staggering only slightly. 

Neymar is beaming. 

“So?” he asks. 

Leo eyes him, wipes his mouth.

“Oh man,” Neymar says, smile evaporating. “Shit, sorry, here–” and then the second most surprising thing: Ney passes a thin-fingered hand over his mouth, the crown of his head, and the pain abates. 

“So,” Neymar says, leaning back. “Was that ok?” 

He looks like he already knows the answer. Leo had done something similar to Dinho, during their first meeting. Dinho had laughed, his first introduction to his master’s infectious cheer. Excellent work, padawan, he’d said, ten out of ten. Leo remembers very clearly the joy on his master's face, which is much better than whatever he's doing with his own, judging by Neymar's fading smile.

Leo manages, “Fine."

"Oh," Neymar says. "Well, Master Be'Karr was impressed.

To soften things, Leo grabs Neymar’s hand. 

“Don’t do that too much,” he says, looking at Neymar’s hand, and the stone beyond it, instead of his face. “It’ll drain your energy quickly, healing.” 

“Oh,” Ney says. “Sorry–”

“It’s fine,” Leo says again, repeating himself. He drops Neymar’s hand. “Now you know. I had to be told too."

"You're strong, too, huh?" 

Neymar looks like he swallowed the sun.

"Some say that," Leo says.

“So what now?” Ney says, flexing his fingers. He drops into what Leo supposes is a fighting stance. “Are we gonna spar?”

“I have to go to the medic,” Leo says. 

Neymar’s face falls.

“You didn’t hurt me,” Leo says.

“Right,” Neymar says. Leo bites back on his own sudden guilt.  

 “I have an appointment. I didn’t think this would take long. We can train later.” 

Leo is already halfway off the platform, springing over the space. He expects the conversation to end there, but Ney springs after him, previous nerves forgotten.

“But we’ll spar, right?”

“Yes,” Leo says, picking up his pace. “I’ll see you later.” 

On the way to the bowels of the temple, Leo’s headache returns. He feels a little lighter, but a little sadder. This absence is what drives it home, so much so that he stops dead in the middle of the third stairway. The mystery of Neymar’s seeming lack of force sensitivity.

Neymar’s force presence was so huge that it had blended into the background, so synchornymous with Leo’s that he’d accepted it. As ubiquitous as air. Leo stuffs his hands into his sleeves and tries to smash down whatever this feeling is, because the jedi aren't all that stupid: if they know Neymar is as strong as he is, they surely won't let him stay with Leo.

The medic Leo sees is not in the halls of healing, but in the dead and bleak bowels of the temple that work as ad-hoc prison cells. He drops his weapon outside the door. This was part of the requirements of his summoning. 

“You should have come earlier,” the healer says. They’re humanoid, white-eyed, fidgety. "It's freezing down here."

“There was a ceremony,” Leo says, and stubbornly lifts his chin. The healer is backed by three other jedi, one of whom Leo vaguely recognizes from back before he was exiled. They have lightsabers and armor, glinting ominously in the dull light.

“Here,” the healer says, and gestures to a stool. Leo sits down and does not help the healer undo the heavy, wrapping on his left arm, shimmering with kyber infusions and usually hidden under his long sleeves. His robes look especially dingy, a very dark blue faded from wash and wear, in contrast to the healer’s pale, faintly luminous hands. 

“Zeden,” Leo says. That’s the name of the jedi in the center of the guards, the one with the shaved head. His force presence is sharp and sour, touched with fear. 

“Leo,” Zeden mutters, after a moment. He remembers Leo, it’s clear on his face, which is warped for a short moment with hatred. 

“How are you?” Leo asks, petty. There is no response, just an increase in that sour feeling. Leo looks away first. 

The healer seems smart enough to realize the guards are out of their depth, and after a minute drops the careful unwinding and just strips the end of the wrap off his arm with a rough gesture. They’re not wrong: if Leo really wanted out of here, there’s a spare handful of other jedi in the galaxy who could stop him, and two of them are waging war in the outer rim right now. 

Really the only thing stopping him is the artefact now exposed to the light of the dungeon. It may not be him that’s putting the guards on edge, Leo reflects, as he’s had ten years to get used to the oily, hateful energy that leaks from the thing, but they’re getting the full brunt of it with no possible reference point, no familiar handle for this particular knife.

“Sith fucking hells,” the healer says, and Leo has to agree. There are two bands around his lower arm, pitch black metal scratched with faint characters that slink out of focus if you look too hard. This isn’t what the healer is looking at, however; they’re examining the raised, shiny scar that connects the two bands. 

“How?” the healer asks. The scar dead ends in slight grooves on either band, raised and bulging keloids overlapping what used to be the entry ports for a thin, glittering wire. The wire is no longer visible; the ports have swollen and healed over, so now the power source or whatever the fuck was is now entombed in Leo’s arm. 

“I thought you were the expert,” Leo says. He tries not to look at his arm. 

“I’m a mediocre scholar of Kittât,” the healer says. “And a slightly better trauma healer. I wasn't expecting a muzzling brace from Darthomir legend.""

They hover a cautious hand over the lower band, other hand fumbling for something in their pocket. It’s some kind of jewler’s louche set with cracked and faceted crystal. They pop it into one blind eye.

The artifact does not like to be under scrutiny with jedi tools. Leo feels the build up of power and grabs the healer’s wrist. The guards step forward.

“Only a little force intent,” he says. “It doesn’t like to be touched.” 

The healer waves a shaky hand at the guards. Leo’s arm goes silent. 

“Right,” they say. “I’ve masked my presence. This glass freezes the runes into a readable script, so I’ll just see what you’ve been saddled with, here. Make sure it's still functioning.”

“I can’t have it uncovered for too long,” Leo says, because even quiet, the think leaks whispers and a sluggish, weighty paranoia.  

“Oh, I don’t want it out for longer than necessary,” the healer says, with a hoarse laugh. “I knew there was a reason Windu chose me for this.”

Leo huffs.

“Not a fan?”

“He’s not a fan of me, more like,” the healer says. Their nose is missing any cartilage and blends into their skin, giving them an owlish, flat face. “You know what we usually do with Sith artefacts like this?”

Leo doesn't care, but this doesn't stop the healer. 

“We destroy them. Interacting with Sith text and language is ontologically fraught, you see. Any recognition or understanding gives it life and power. It clings a bit to the brain, finds a foothold and then starts to draw the Dark. It’s cancerous.”

“Sorry for you, then,” Leo says, though he’s not, really. The healer gives him a hard smile. 

“Oh, I’ll be fine. My connection to the force is manufactured, so I’m immune–that’s why most of my race are Sith hunters. And collectors. It's deadly to everyone else. Eventually.”

The healer goes silent, tilting their head back and forth, muttering something Leo can’t hear. They straighten up.

“At least, that’s the working theory. This is…odd.”

“Odd?”

“How long have you had this?”

“Ten years.”

“I see,” the healer says, distracted. They pop out the louche and rub the corners of their eyes. “Well. Let’s cover up the bands and look at that scar.” 

Covering the bands, even loosely, cuts the awful cold in the room. Leo sees the guards relax incrementally. 

“I saw in your file that you cut this channel yourself?” the healer asks. They’re prodding the scar with careful fingers. 

“Yes.”

“Good job. No signs of rejection, though that’s more of an issue of Sith witchcraft than bacterial resistance.”

"Are we done?"

The healer presses down, hard, on the center of Leo's scar. Leo has had this in his arm for ten years and has experienced the worst that the artefact has to offer, but it still takes him all of his available power to prevent himself from visibly recoiling.

The healer meets Leo’s eyes with that same cold smile.

“I’d ask you if you feel any discomfort, but even if you did, I can’t do anything about it. And based on the guards and the writing I saw on these cuffs, I’d say that’s kind of the point when it comes to you.” 

Leo clenches his teeth together. One of the wall sconces behind the guards snaps in half.

“That’s all for today,” the healer says, deftly backing away. “Be seeing you.” 

Leo re-wraps his arm alone, in the dark, and thinks about Neymar's hand passing moth-like over his mouth.

[eimearkuopio]

We are all islands in a stream, and we are all connected under the surface, but we don't live under the surface. Most neurotypical islands are set up to be more or less self-sufficient. Yes, it's probably nicer if you and a bunch of other NTs form a community and engage in trade, but if need be, you can produce enough to survive without leaving your island. It is possible to live in the well.

NT islands are rocky. They have cliffs. Maybe there is an inlet where you can park a boat, but you can shore up defences if you need to. Build a round tower from the local stone.

I'm autistic. My island is more of a sandbar. And I was pretty lucky, in that my family have some very nice islands, and always made sure I had what I needed from their surplus. And it turns out, sandbars aren't useless! You can produce enough to actually trade from them, and be a valuable part of a community!

BUT.

You can't produce the basic stuff at the necessary rate to be self-sufficient.

And in the past few decades - let's say from the Reagan era onwards, but there are other markers we could easily choose, they're just not worshipped by as many raiders these days - there have been A LOT of raiders.

So the neurotypicals and the rich people with weapons and towers and thriving communities and maybe a navy are all making it much harder to become members of thriving communities. If you weren't already in, you're not getting in now.

And there was a time when we expected people like me to find a new community, to join it, to thrive. But I can't in this world. I had to wait for the Queen of my hive to die so I could gently announce that I was still here and my little sandbar is at capacity of people I have been trying to help, and telling me that I should push them off and protect myself won't work, because my island doesn't have any fucking cliffs and I can dive for pearls to trade but I can't grow fucking potatoes. The raiders are a problem, but the reason I am in danger of starving to death clutching a million pearls of wisdom is that the regular community has let their own fear condemn my kind to death.

If you want to be safe from the raiders - if you want me to be safe from the raiders - You're going to need to leave your islands and help me. I don't have the resources to stop them myself, but I've got a really big supply of pearls (and probably a serious case of malnutrition from being forced to live exclusively on a sandbar for the past 15 years, please send proverbial crates of oranges to your local neurodivergent weirdos who are even more fucked up than I am cause at least my family tried to share their bounty even if they never fully understood just why I couldn't grow my own fucking crops).

[decluttermysoul]

My vision feels like it's getting worse, and I'm not doing myself any favours not going to a doctor about it, I'm delusional enough to think that it will go away on its own

I love Water a lot, but I keep asking myself the question of if their life would be better off without me in it. Since I know I'm a bad person due to the way I feel and I'm too much of a coward to accept it's never going to be the way I daydream about, am I really just adding fuel to a fire that will one day combust into flames and destroy everything around me and possibly Water too. I want to avoid that ever happening.

If I weren't in the picture, they could carry on with the right people they already have.

I feel like I'm a piece of a jigsaw that doesn't slit anywhere into Water's life, like a piece that's just trying to become a part of the picture but isn't even in the right set

That's a stupid analogy, but I'm basically made of those, sue me

I really want to mean more to Water, I think I've made it to the cap and I'm desperately trying to think of ways to push past this cliff face

I'm so frustrated at myself, so frustrated at my life and choices

I really don't know anymore

This post is a fucking mess, but that suits me to a T

I can't type anymore because my stupid hand is hurting for some dumbass reason

.

[lucyglassesstuff]

Dealing with: Fears and Doubts.

Insecurities I think is a better fitting name for it.

I'm- scared. Ha ha.

Yeah, how surprising. I told you most of the thoughts I have start in a similar way.

Anyway, that's this post's topic.

I published a grand total of two things by the time I'm writing this and I'm already doubting it.

What's the point of doing any of it if no one ever reads it? What if no one ever reads it? What if I'm wasting time and effort on this? What if, what if, what if.

The answer is quite simple: You push through.

I'll be fine either way. I know I will.

It doesn't make much to stop the thoughts from coming, but makes enough to allow me to do it anyway.

I think- After many many little tiny baby steps that lead me here- I'm in the phase where I'm starting to quite literally kick myself off the edge of the cliff.

You go and triumph girl! Fly!

I picture myself falling and screaming knowing damn well I just jumped off that cliff because I know I'll fall into what I want.

And- don't let yourself be fooled. I'm not doing anything that's oh so out there and risky and bla bla.

I started to post.

That's it.

And for me, in my context and with my social anxiety and fear of rejection and all the issues that I can't remember to name, is a HUGE jump.

I'm aware there's people who do it without even blinking. Not even a second thought after publishing the thing.

Whatever the thing might be.

I love to pretend I'm confident.

Some people buy into it.

It's fun.

And I guess in some ways I am.

Because I'm not- Shy, per se. I'm actually quite loud and bold and unapologetic, but I do am insecure.

I doubt- a lot of what I do.

Wich doesn't make me stop doing it just- Gives me anxiety.

Is a constant war between "I'm not going to change because of what someone else may or may not think of me" and "What if everyone hates me and I'm super annoying?"

I want to be real and authentic and happy and free and etc etc but I also want to be liked.

Is that possible?

YES.

Yes it is.

And Mejor solo que mal acompañado, right?

Yeah.

Again, is a very contradicting way of thinking. But I suppose that's all of us. In some degree...

See? I just doubted myself there again.

Long story short my life is now basically an ongoing cycle of being scared of something and then convincing myself to do it anyway.

It's fun.

Keeps me on my toes.

What will I force myself to do next?

I'm kidding, I don't force myself, I softly persuade the hell out of myself.

Maybe it has something to do with how my family works...

Oh yeah, might I clarify, this is a- Well- How would you describe it...

Instead of presenting you any final ideas on a certain topic, I'm just rambling about how I deal with stuff.

I keep thinking about how to organize the whole thing. How do I separate this type of post from the other ones and honestly what is the main difference between them.

Should I put a small summary on the top of it so you know more about what I'll be covering?

Should I just format the titles differently? With the font or the titles themselves?

It's a whole thing.

But then again: I want to make a point of proving I can still do it even when I haven't figured it out yet.

In all honesty I'm just scared I'll freeze in planning mode if I don't push myself to just do it.

I want it to be cohesive and easy to go through once I've posted more things.

Oh I have big big plans.

And I'm still trying to figure how to lay them out.

And of course, they make me scared: What if I fail? What if they don't work? What if I change my mind? What if let myself down? What if my expectations are to high? What if the punch of harsh reality blows my inspiration and confidence away and I loose all the progress I made so far? What if-

Oh my God, girl stop.

You sound hysterical.

Inhale exhale, c'mon. One two.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. Once more.

It's gonna be fine.

Don't panic.

And I mean, it's okay to worry sometimes, it's inevitable. Fighting against it is exhausting too, so I opted to just let it happen and then I'll sit with myself to calm me down in the most loving and patient way I can master.

Loving and patient.

For a scared and panicked me.

It works better than it sounds, truly.

One of my most useful new tools.

Is not an easy tatic but is quite simple.

You should try it.

[fluffytriceratops]

Important Update! Please Read!!

I’m yeeting myself into the abyss. And won’t be on here much because of it.

In all seriousness, this is a important update on why I’m not on here as much and when I will return.

For those of you who don’t know, I work seasonally at a summer camp. I mainly work in the kitchen as a assistant to the head chef, but I also do a lot of cleaning. I mainly clean up after guests when they’ve stayed at one of the camp’s cabins/motels. Now I don’t really like this job, in fact, I kinda hate it. But as a broke art student, whose family has been struggling a ton financially this past year, I don’t have many options. And it does pay decently well. Normally the employees come at the end of June - beginning of July, but I’ve offered to come in a month early to help set up the camp. This is a shit ton of work, and I absolutely hate it. I had to do it last year, and I wanted to throw myself off a cliff. It’s extremely stressful and draining. My anxiety spikes up a ton. I’m constantly suffering both physically (I suffer greatly from pains, mainly in my back, hands, head, and wrists), mentally, and emotionally. My hands shake a lot, and it just gets to bad when I’m working and pushing myself so much. So to say I’m miserable during this time of the year is a bit of an understatement haha. This will be my second year working here but my family and I have been going there for many generations.

Working at this camp is a literal nightmare for me. I never really liked going there for long periods of time when I wasn’t working, and now that I am it drains the fun out of the place completely. I’ve had nightmares about having to go back all year. I wish I was exaggerating, but I promise I’m not lol.

Because I’ll be working almost everyday for the next three months (I also work the beginning of September but it’s not the full month so I don’t really count it), I won’t have much time for myself let alone tumblr and any other sites I’m apart of. Unfortunately this means that I won’t be able to write, draw, or roleplay much at all. And honestly, anytime that I spend not working I’ll probably be sleeping because that’s how exhausted I am. You have no idea how many times I just took a nap on someone’s couch last year during breaks. I’ve never napped so much in my life haha.

Long story short, any and all works of mine will be delayed and coming out very slowly for the next while. This includes roleplay responses. I’m very sorry to those of you who are/will be waiting on me to reply, not only to rps but to messages/reblogs and just about anything and everything really. Like I said, my posting schedule will be random and all over the place. I’ll write/draw/respond/rp when I have time and am in the mood. (Which is basically what I do now, it’s just I have far less time on my hands hehe)

This also means that I might come on occasionally to spam a few people now and again, because I’ll be missing a bunch of stuff lmao.

With all of that said; PLEASE CONTINUE TO TAG ME IN ALL OF YOUR STUFF SO THAT I CAN SEE IT WHEN I CAN! I’ll probably miss a couple posts here and there, and I apologize in advance if that’s the case, but I’ll try my hardest to respond/look at everything! Also- don’t be afraid to ask me if I’d like to be tagged in certain things (or to just tag me in general, I love hearing from you guys!) , it might take me a moment to get back to you, but honestly there are so many cool people on here, I feel so bad that I’m going to miss out on so much! And don’t be afraid to message me either! Again, it might take me a while to reply to you, but I’ll get around to it eventually! ^^

ALSO- to all of my mutuals/tumblr buddies— if you’re interested, I’d love just to chat with you guys! Whether that be on my dm’s here, or on Instagram or discord, whatever really. I’ve met so many amazing people and I’d love to keep in contact other than our posts! So, if you’re interested, feel free to message me on here or comment or reblog, whatever you feel most comfortable doing, and let me know! I can send you my insta or discord or whatever and we can keep in touch much easier! Don’t be afraid to ask to chat! I’d love to have more online friends! <3

I’ll probably post little life updates and stuff when I can, so look out for those if that’s something you’d be interested in seeing!

And let me know if you want to be tagged in any of my stuff, I post a lot of multifandom things, so if you see something you like, lemme know and I’ll tag you so you don’t miss out! I’ll probably be posting some older stuff/things I just haven’t uploaded to tumblr yet, so there’s that hehe.

Again- I’m really sorry that I won’t be very active on here. I’ll try to come on as much as I can! In the meantime, message me, tag me, and take good care of yourselves! Drink lots of water, take power naps when needed, get some sunshine and fresh air every once and a while, and make sure you remember to eat! Sometimes I forget, so it’s nice to have a lil reminder! ^v^

I love you all so so much, and I can’t wait till the summer is over lmfao.

IM SENDING ALL OF THE VIRTUAL HUGS TO YOU!!! ^3^

— LF / Fluffy / Fluffie. <3

Xox

Ps. Wish me luck. TvT

[bittykimmy13]

I gotta do my favorite couple, Jon and Sylv. As always, I live for FLUFF.

❝  you’ve got me in the palm of your hands.  you could crush me and i would still thank you for touching me at all.  ❞

or

❝ just let me look at you for a little bit ❞

I love both(:

OH GODDD WHAT HAVE U DONE 💕 You love both?? I used both ;)

Enjoy some sugary sweet Jon and (drunk) Sylv 💕✨

(( Send me a yearning prompt!! ))

The hunt had been annoyingly grueling, but at least they could hole up in the motel room and sleep it off. On the drive back, Sylvia had fallen in and out of sleep in Jon’s hands, too pumped with adrenaline to drift off properly despite his attempts to sooth her.

When he finished showering and changing, he hoped he’d find her asleep on the pillow. Instead, he found her on the table, kneeling as she drank from a bottle cap of whiskey. Cliff looked on with exhausted amusement, taking a sip from the bottle.

“Are you kidding me?” Jon said to Cliff, who shrugged innocently.

“Jon!” Sylvia lifted the bottle cap to her lips and drank. She coughed at the taste. “Have you tried this stuff? It’s like… spicy!” She giggled as part of it spilled onto the table.

Jon swooped in and snatched the cap away. Sylvia had already gotten clean for the night. He doubted she would appreciate waking up smelling of whiskey.

“Hey!” She whined, aiming to grab the cap. She got to her feet and immediately lost her balance, skittering back and falling to a hard seat. She looked around in a daze as if she’d forgotten what she was doing.

Cliff stood to make his retreat to the shower, but Jon didn’t let him off the hook so easily. “Dude, you basically gave her a bucket to drink from.”

“Hey, I didn’t think she’d keep going! She spat out the first sip, and before I knew it, she finished half.” Cliff glanced at the table, where Sylvia was carefully trying to stand, arm and wings spread for balance. He winced with concern but didn’t back down. “C’mon, she’s safe in here. It was a long night. She’ll sleep it off.”

He grabbed clothes from his duffle bag and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving Jon with a thoroughly-drunk Sylvia.

Sighing, he returned to the table and reached out to gingerly help her balance. “How do you feel, Sylv?”

She leaned against his fingers with wobbly knees and blinked up at him. “Me? I’m fine. I’m… amazing. How are you? Can we go outside? I wanna see how high I can fly.” She grinned from ear to ear like it was the best idea ever.

Jon chuckled. “Maybe later. Let’s get you to bed before you hurt yourself.”

Her smile dipped away. She pushed off of his hand, affronted, and flitted crookedly into the air. “How am I gonna hurt myself?” she scoffed.

“You can’t fly a straight line, babe.” Jon reached for her, but she darted back with a sly, spirited smile. He tensed, knowing she was approximately one second away from making a game out of this—one that would land her with an even worse headache than the hangover would give her.

“Oh yeah?” she said. “Then watch this.” Sure enough, she attempted to fly past him.

Jon took a small step to the side, and she bumped head-on into his shoulder. She gave a squeal as her wings flapped unevenly and made her descend. She managed to grab the hem of his shirt sleeve long enough to balance her flight—though Jon’s hand waited right below to catch her just in case. She looked straight down and saw his hand coming up to snatch her.

With another burst of haphazard speed, she was out of his reach.

“Sylv,” he huffed.

She glanced back to laugh at him and promptly crashed into the lampshade by the bed.

In her daze to orient herself, Jon had no trouble closing the distance and catching her between his hands. He sealed her gently between his palms, eliciting muffled whines of protest. She squirmed as he took a seat on the edge of their bed.

“Okay, I’m gonna let you out,” he said slowly. “But you have to promise not to fly. Deal?” He brought his hands closer to his face to hear her.

“Deal,” she muttered defeatedly.

When he opened his hands, he put his thumb across her lap to stop her immediate attempt to fly off. She grunted and tried to kick free. Her wings flitted madly. It took all of five seconds before she was too winded to do anything except flop back against his fingers.

“Fine, you win! Big, mean hunter,” she said dramatically. Her cheeks were flushed as she pouted up at him. Her hair was playfully tousled from her hijinks. Just when he was thinking about whether to fix it or make it worse, she gave another little kick at his thumb. “I thought we were going to bed—why are you staring at me?”

“Just trying to figure out if you really think I’m mean.” He dropped to brush a kiss against her forehead. That was all it took for her to forget her annoyance and laugh. “And just let me look at you for a little bit. If that’s okay.”

Their brief game of chase forgotten, she planted her elbows on his thumb and propped her chin in her hands. Though he hadn’t had a drop to drink, Jon’s face flushed; she knew the way she was looking up at him was painfully adorable.

“Look at me all you want,” she said, her words lilting and slurred. “You’ve got me in the palm of your hand. You could crush me and I would thank you for wanting to touch me at all.”

He didn’t want to touch her. He needed to. But no matter how bad the need, she was too far gone. He rubbed her thighs with a light touch. “Crush is a little extreme, don’t you think? Get some sleep, Sylv.”

Turning, he set her down a scrap of his shirt that she liked to use as a blanket. For a second, he worried that she’d try to make a break for it again, but the moment she touched the blanket, she all but melted into it. She grabbed one side and rolled herself into a burrito, nearly falling off the pillow in her zeal.

“Isn’t that a little tight?” Jon chuckled, reaching for her again. “You’re gonna wake up with sore wings.”

“M’comfy,” she protested, wiggling adamantly into the folds.

But he could already picture her wincing as she flexed her wings tomorrow. They had a brief tug-of-war with the blanket until it was loosened enough. Thankfully, she didn’t try to wrap herself tight again. She gave a long yawn and snuggled into sleep.

Jon rested his head on the pillow and draped his arm behind her protectively. As her breaths slowed, his loving gaze blurred at the edges until he had drifted off along with her.

[nothoughtsonlynat]

Resurrect Me (N.R.)

Warnings: swearing; death; Hell/the Underworld; cliff jumping lol

Word Count≈ 3.1k (yikes lol my bad)

Hecate一 the goddess of magic, witchcraft, the night, the moon, ghosts, and necromancy. Known to be an intricate mosaic of good and evil, destruction and beauty. Capable of granting wishes, summoning the dead, resurrections, teleportation, warping realities on unfathomable scales, mind control, energy manipulation, and any sorcery or magic known to the Gods. Second only to Zeus himself.

I am the human embodiment of Hecate. I am not Hecate; she merely resides in the depths of my soul and provides me guidance. We do not communicate through words; she speaks through dreams and gut feelings, and sometimes even through signs in the outside world. I have not mastered the powers she’s granted me, nor have I reached my full potential. In addition to the Goddess’ powers, I hold the basic Olympian powers, such as superhuman speed and stamina. I have no recollection of how I merged with Hecate or the life I lived before this point, and she has provided me with no answers, but I do not question her motives. 

Agent Phil Coulson came across me in my temple in Turkey. Apparently, he had discovered strange energy readings coming from the temple. When he arrived, I used the power of energy manipulation to blow the concrete off of me, and that is the first thing I remember一 emerging from underneath Hecate’s temple.

I joined the Avengers during the Battle of New York. Agent Coulson had recommended me to Fury when he was piecing together the Avengers Initiative. In the three years between my awakening and the invasion, I practiced my sorcery mercilessly and studied Hecate deep in the Greek countryside. I’ve stuck with the Avengers throughout the years, fighting every battle alongside them. Through the ups and downs, I’ve fallen head over heels for Natasha Romanoff. One would assume that with so much power, I’d be confident and have any mortal begging at my feet. That couldn’t be any more inaccurate, however. As I’ve said, I am not Hecate; I am simply the human embodiment of the goddess. And as a human, I turn into a blushing, stuttering mess whenever the levelheaded assassin is near. Consequently, there have been many years of pining, but I’ve yet to muster up the courage to ask the woman on a date.

In our most recent war, we’ve gone up against a mad titan一 Thanos. We lost terribly. Half of all living things inhabiting the universe were snapped away. I can’t help but ponder whether things would’ve gone differently if I had better mastered my powers. I potentially hold all the capabilities of the goddess of magic; aside from Zeus, I hold more power than any being to ever exist. I’ve practiced my sorcery every day for the past five years on the off chance that we ever get a rematch一 a chance to bring everyone back. I’ve improved significantly, but Hecate has been oddly quiet for the past few years. It’s driving me crazy. I know she’s still there, but she hardly provides an ounce of guidance.

And so, that is where I find myself now一 practicing sorcery in the room specifically designed to isolate me when I use dark magic. Everyone who has access to the training section of the compound knows that they should never enter this room. It is far too dangerous for regular mortals. As I warp the room’s reality, a dark mist envelops me. When it clears, the room has changed into a 50s ballroom. I look down to see an elegant maroon ball gown covering my body, and I scan the empty area. I hear a pair of heels clicking toward me, and I spin around, already panicking. In order for someone to be here with me, they would have to be an inhabitant of the location’s true reality. My eyes land upon the woman I’ve grown to love, dressed up for the event. She is wearing an extravagant light blue ball gown, and her hair is carefully done up. 

“Natasha? What are you doing here?”

“Why I came to dance with you, of course.” She steps closer and drapes her arms around my neck, swaying to the nonexistent music. Stay calm. Don’t panic. There’s no way I’m making her do this. I’m not even doing anything! Of course I’m the one making her do this, who else would it be?! Breathe in. Breathe out. My powers don’t control me. I control them. Just breathe. I can do this. I know how to do this.

As I focus on the magic coursing through my veins, a black mist envelops us, and the room returns to its original form一 a basic training room with black padded walls. I immediately take a large step back from Natasha.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Natasha?! You know you can’t come in here! I could’ve seriously hurt you!”

“I...I’m sorry. I thought you’d just be moving shit with your mind. I didn’t realize you could do...that, whatever that was.”

“That was reality manipulation. I didn’t know you were here and I don’t have full control of it, so you got caught up in it. Are you okay? Do you remember it?”

“Yeah, I remember it clear as day. I was still me and I was still in control, it was just...different, I guess.”

“Well, I literally warped your reality, so even if you felt in control, you might not have been.”

“You stopped it, though. I remember when that seemed impossible. You’re getting better.”

“Thanks, I guess.” I awkwardly scratch the back of my neck. “What did you come in here for in the first place?”

“This is gonna sound crazy, but Scott Lang is here. We might have a way to bring everybody back.”

“Wait, what? Holy shit. It’s happening. Okay, come on then!” I eagerly walk past her, grabbing her hand as I pass her, and we leave my training room. I realize that I’m still holding her hand as we make it to the meeting room, and I immediately drop it, clearing my throat. If I wasn’t so familiar with the sensation, then I would swear that my ears and cheeks are on fire.

<//>

We all step onto the platform in matching white and red time-travel suits. “We’re really doing this?”

“Hell yeah, we’re doing this,” Clint answers.

“Alright, then. We bring everybody back,” I say with determination. “Whatever it takes,” Steve adds.

“See you in a minute,” Natasha adds with a smirk. Before I can appreciate how beautiful she looks with the glimmer of hope in her eyes, we’re flying through a flurry of colors. Nebula, Natasha, Rhodey, Clint, and I land on Morag. We all say our respective goodbyes before Nat, Clint, and I get on a jet to head to Vormir.

<//>

“A soul for a soul.”

“What? That’s insane. Look, no offense, Mr. Bloody Tampon, but why should we just trust what you’re saying? Because you know their fathers’ names?”

“I didn’t.” I looked into Natasha’s eyes as she spoke and I instantly wish that I could replace the dull sadness with the bright hope that had filled them before.

“He doesn’t know my father’s name. If he’s some mystical being, then why can’t he tell me that?” I turned to face him as I asked the question.

“I’m afraid you are a mystery. I am meant to know everything about any being who seeks the stone, but I know nothing of your identity.”

“Hm. Seems like a load of bullshit to me,” I deadpanned.

“We need to do this. We need to bring everyone back. I’ve spent the past five years trying to reverse the snap, and now I finally know how to fix it. Let me do it.” As Natasha spoke, she grabbed both of my hands in hers.

“And I’ve spent every day for the past five years training to do this. I wasn’t just practicing sorcery and talking to dead people for fun, Nat. All I wanted was to do better一 to fix this. If anyone is jumping off that cliff, it’s gonna be me.”

“No. Absolutely not. Neither of you is dying for that stone. I’ve done horrible things these past few years. I’ve killed...so many people. It should be me,” Clint says, and Natasha and I turn to face him, but one of her hands remains in mine.

“No way in hell, Clint. And not you either, Nat. Both of you guys have families. You’re not sacrificing yourselves. I won’t let you. And you can’t stop me even if you try.” Nat gives me a questioning look as I mention her family and I speak in her head ‘I know about them, Nat. And they need you. She needs her big sister.’

“What are you saying?” I can hear the anxiety lacing Nat’s words, and it causes a pit to form in my stomach.

“I think you know what I’m saying, Natty.” 

“Then you don’t leave me much of a choice.” She shoots a Widow’s Bite toward me, but I stop it using energy manipulation without even having to lift a finger.

“You can’t beat me, Nat. Please, don’t fight me on this.”

“I call bullshit.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Clint running toward the edge while we’re distracted, and I teleport in front of him, throwing him backward. I use mind control to force him to stay down. I sense Natasha running toward the edge behind me, and I teleport in front of her. I use energy manipulation to keep her in place, and I grab onto her biceps.

“I’m really sorry, Nat. I hate that I’m doing this to you, but I can’t let you throw yourself off a cliff for some stupid stone. Your life is worth so much more than that. You’re an amazing person, and your ledger was cleared of its red so long ago. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.”

“This is sounding an awful lot like a goodbye.”

“You can be sarcastic all you want, but I’m not walking out of this one, Natty.”

“Don’t do this. The team needs you.”

“No, they don’t, Nat, and we both know it. They need you.”

“And what if I need you?!”

“Well if that’s the case, you’ll figure it out, just like you always do. Don’t let something like this hold you back. Goodbye, Natasha Romanoff.” I kiss her cheek before turning around. I start walking towards the edge, but it quickly turns into a sprinting pace as I hear Nat screaming for me to stop. Just before I reach the edge, I lift the mind control from Clint and I release Nat, just in case it doesn’t automatically lift when I die. I push myself off the cliff, turning mid-jump so I’m not facing the ground. As I’m falling through the air, I see Clint holding Nat in his arms as her screams fill my ears. I hit the ground and everything goes black.

<//>

“Hello, y/n. It’s good to see you again.” I sat up and一 what the hell is that smell? “Ah, yes. That would be burning flesh. Welcome to Hell, darling.”

“Uh...what? Who are you?”

“Yes, I suppose I should explain, hm? I am Hecate, Goddess of一”

“Yeah, I know what you’re the goddess of. How did I get here?”

“I thought you were smarter than this. You died, obviously.”

“And went to Hell? Damn.”

“Oh, relax. Hell isn’t what the mortals think it is. This is the Underworld. All of the dead reside here. The bad people get punished, the good people don’t. Simple as that. We don’t have a lot of time, so I need to explain. I am cursed; I cannot leave the Underworld. However, my human embodiment can, and that is where you come into play. You hold all my power, and I can see you’ve been practicing, but you’ve never lived up to your full potential.”

“Hey! Rude!”

“Don’t interrupt. I didn’t allow you to live up to your full potential, not until we met, anyway.”

“And I had to die in order for that to happen?”

“Yes. I’m giving you all of my power, but I can still stop you if I ever need to. I know you don’t want to risk hurting the people you love, especially the redhead, but you need to trust yourself. Trust your powers. Have a little faith. You are a goddess, remember. Don’t let people forget it. That purple thumb is nothing compared to you, even with his colorful rocks. Your family needs you now. You must help them.”

“That’s it? Why do they need help? How will I know what to do?”

“I will always be there to help you, Y/N. You can handle this. This is nothing. You are part of me, just as I am part of you. You are my daughter, after all. I should know your capabilities better than anyone.”

“Wait, daughter?!”

“Oh, did I forget to mention that part? Oh well, it doesn’t matter right now, anyway. You need to go.”

“Go where?”

“Home, darling.” 

The earth above us cracks open and I can hear faint sounds of fighting on the surface. I look at Hecate as she nods. Before I even realize I’m doing it, black mist surrounds my body and lifts me through the crack. I step out of the mist onto the ground and a staff appears in my right hand. I tap it once on the ground and my white suit is replaced by an all-black leather outfit that’s definitely made for a goddess. I smirk and make eye contact with the titan across the battlefield. His sickly creatures race toward me as they notice the new threat on the field. I summon an army of ghouls from the cracks in the earth. As the aliens and the undead clash, I teleport in front of Thanos.

“And who might you be, dear?” He acts confident, but I can sense his fear.

“I am Y/N, daughter of Hecate.” He tilts his head in a questioning manner. “Oh, did someone not study mythology? Hm, then let’s be blunt, shall we? I’m a goddess, ass-chin.” I throw my staff at his throat, but he catches it. He moves to swing his large sword at me, but I capture his arm in black mist. When he tries to move the other arm, I restrain that one, as well. “Well, that surely can’t be all you’ve got, hm? Pity, I thought it’d be more exciting than that.” If I were to look in a mirror at that moment, I would’ve noticed my ghostly pale skin, black eyes, and the raw power spreading through my veins like a black road-map.

“It’s not over yet, my dear child.” Before I can question the meaning of his words, an alien tosses him the gauntlet. It slides on his exposed hand, but I hold it open with dark magic. I look around and notice that the army of the undead is nowhere to be seen. My teammates are pinned down, even with the help of those who were snapped. There is a feeling in my gut and a voice in my head that tells me what I must do. I pull the gauntlet off his hand with black mist and slide my hand inside. I feel the power surging into my body. “What are you doing? That power will kill you!” Thanos sounds truly desperate.

“That’s cute. Truly, it is, but you can’t kill someone who’s already dead.” I close my hand and snap my fingers. His army fades to dust and he slumps to the ground before floating away with them. I drop the gauntlet to the ground and look around. Natasha runs toward me and throws her arms around my neck in a firm hug.

“Wha一what happened to you? How are you here? I thought you died!”

I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my chin on her shoulder before saying, “I did die. I am dead.”

She pulls away and looks at me from head to toe. “Well that explains why you’re so damn pale, but now I have so many more questions.”

“I am Hecate’s daughter, so I am technically a goddess, like her. I’m not sure if I was technically resurrected or not, but I can probably一”

She cut me off with a gentle yet passionate kiss. She pulls away and searches my eyes. “I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,” she admits.

“Me too,” I breathe out.

“Yeah, I picked up on that. You’re not very discrete.” I laughed and a smirk spread across her face. “As sexy as this whole ‘powerful goddess’ thing is, am I going to get the old you back? You know, the one who blushes whenever I look at her? The one who’s, like, alive?”

I smile at her and glance down at her lips as a thick black mist appears behind me. I step backward into it as her face morphs into a look of confusion. She disappears from sight as a wall of black fills my vision, and a surge of power spreads throughout my body. I fall to my knees and the black cloud disappears. Natasha rushes over and kneels in front of me. “Are you okay? What the hell was that?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but I think I’m alive again.” I lift my head and meet her eyes.

“Your skin isn’t crazy pale anymore, and your eyes are their normal color again.”

“Sweet.”

“Cool.”

We both crack up and I lean my forehead against hers as our laughter fades.

Tony interrupts our moment of peace. “This is all good and dandy, but does someone wanna explain what the hell just happened?”

I raise my head and look at my teammates一 my family. “I kicked the purple thumb’s ass. That’s what happened.” I can feel a warm presence in my heart, and I know that my mother is with me.

“Yes, yes, I noticed. I also noticed a bunch of demons. Care to explain that one?”

“They weren’t demons...they were just...the souls...of dead people. I can summon the dead. You knew that.”

“Uh, I definitely didn’t know that.” I laugh and shake my head at the eccentric man. 

I stand up, pulling Natasha with me, and bring her into another embrace. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Natty,” I whisper in her ear before pressing a delicate kiss to her temple.

A/N: I literally had this completely finished and edited over a month ago and I hadn’t posted it yet soooooo... idk here it is

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 307: The One With Shindou

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks (and Jeanist too, although he didn’t really do anything, but BY GOD, WHAT IS UP WITH HIS NECK) held a press conference and were all, “everything you’ve heard is true, so we would just like to say, from the bottom of our hearts... our bad.” U.A. opened its doors to the public as an evacuation shelter. Deku and All Might told basically EVERYBODY about OFA, which is absolutely wild, and yet somehow we hardly paid any attention to this at all. Mostly because the chapter ended with Deku being all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD, THE ONLY ONE THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN” and peacing out of U.A. to embark on a solo journey of angst. So this is either gonna be the best or the worst thing that ever happened to this series, so TIME TO FIND OUT WHICH IT IS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so who do you guys want to see next? Deku? Bakugou?? Well how about SHINDOU?” Shindou is all “hi :) I’m Shindou :) :) remember me :) :) :)?” Horikoshi is all “I’m so sorry for depriving you guys of Shindou for so fucking long, how about an ENTIRE CHAPTER ALL OF HIM” and then he REALLY FUCKING DOES IT because, I don’t know?? Did we make him mad?? Am I being punished for something I did in a past life?? It really is, honest to god, seventeen whole goddamn pages of Shindou, punctuated by a few pages of Muscular, and topped off with one (1) whole appearance by Deku at THE VERY END. And we don’t even get to see his face. I am beside myself lmao I’m sorry you guys, you can skip this recap if you want. Or just skip straight to the end, because movie 3 promo.

“long time no see” now what could this mean?? can’t think of too many characters this phrase would apply to right now. although I can think of one big one, and I know that fandom has been trying to manifest his deadbeat ass to finally show itself for years now. could it finally be that time? if Hisashi shows up and debunks DFO a big chunk of the fandom is probably going to riot lol

(ETA: why oh why did I get my hopes up like that lmao. I’m pretty sure Hisashi doesn’t actually exist and Deku was either immaculately conceived, or the stork really did bring Inko a lil green baby from the cabbage patch.)

anyway, so the chapter is opening on this random scene of CRIME and DISARRAY

was this all done by that big villain from the previous chapter? utility poles knocked down, random holes in the sides of buildings, and it looks like this one car pulled over in a hurry and the driver just hopped out and ran

who are these people talking

OH NO, OH GOD

I am immediately struck by the urge to push Shindou off of this ledge. is that mean? probably that is mean, but also fuck this guy lmao. every year you cheat someone out of their well-deserved spot in the popularity poll, and every year I want to punch you in your stupid face for it

bah. and how are you doing, Tatami. love that hero name even if you do have arguably the dumbest superpower in the entire series

listen, though. here I am shitting on these Ketsubutsu kids for no good reason, and I’m sorry about that, and truthfully it’s mostly because I just want to see Deku and/or Kacchan and so it’s hard to give a fuck about anything else right now. BUT, I will immediately cease and desist ALL of my complaining if this means we also get to see my best girl Ms. Joke, omg. Horikoshi please

sdlkfjlskalk

FUCK YOU SHINDOU OMG. I’M SORRY GUYS I CAN’T HELP IT, EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SO EMINENTLY PUNCHABLE AND DETESTIBLE. IT’S LIKE SOMEONE COMBINED WESLEY CRUSHER WITH JEAN RALPHIO

but LSKJFLEK at this random reminder that Bakugou refused to shake his fucking hand. like, that’s his “fun fact” apparently lol. it’s what he deserves

also living for this “cringe” here, too. fuck you Shindou. I am so, so sorry to any Shindou fans out there you guys because I’m just going to be like this the entire time he’s here. the hate is flowing through me

how has it been three whole pages and I still have to look at his stupid face

anyway so it seems like the kids are having to pick up the slack for Old Man Samurai and all those other assholes who retired. I’m guessing the U.A. kids will be seeing a lot more action as well

but in the meantime let’s hope no villains attack here all of a sudden, because all Tatami can do is make herself shorter while Shindou creates an earthquake to bring the entire building down around them dflkjslk

these guys don’t particularly want to go with them and I can’t say I blame them

so now Shindou is saying that yeah, they can probably handle the looters and such by themselves, but it’s a different story when it comes to the Noumu and the escaped Tartarus prisoners. Shindou how dare you make a reasonable point that I can’t immediately argue with

he says that one of the escapees was sighted in the area, so that’s why they’re trying to evacuate everyone

and the guy disagrees and says he doesn’t trust the heroes and thinks they’re pompous

fdskljk. fucking...

ME: Horikoshi can we please stop and get Deku HORIKOSHI: we have Deku at home THE DEKU AT HOME: 

Horikoshi. please. we get it, the civilians don’t trust the heroes anymore. I UNDERSTAND. I COMPREHEND THIS. so unless there is some other point to this scene I respectfully ask that you hurry things along because omg

did Tatami always have this habit of speaking in meme language and such? I thought that was Camie’s thing but hey

listen, I’m here for anyone who’s willing to drag this man down into the depths of the earth. I would just also rather not spend the entire fucking chapter on this oh my god. Horikoshi do you have any more of those chapters where things happen in them?? those are good, I like those

YESSSSSS FINALLY

so whoever’s on the other end of the call (ETA: it’s that rock-looking guy who can harden anything that he touches. why does BnHA have so many hardening powers) is telling them to run because there’s apparently a villain heading right for them, oh my

WHO IS HE

depending on who it is I can’t promise I won’t be rooting for them over you, buddy

ohhhhhh shit

huh. well that’s... hmm... but on the other hand...

okay lol no, I know it’s bad. Muscular fucking LOVES murdering kids. not even Shindou deserves that. I’m sure he has a family that loves him and stuff. and Tatami seems like a sweet girl. they don’t deserve to be murdered

that is the question isn’t it? are we really going to spend the entire chapter with Limbs-Retracting-Girl and her boyfriend, Joseph Gordon-Levitt from (500) Days of Summer??

YES OMG

YES PLEASE CALL YOUR SENSEI. my god do you know what I would give to see Ms. Joke take down an S-class villain??

(ETA: all I’ll say is that we were robbed here, you guys.)

now Tatami is running away while Shindou stays behind omg

Horikoshi I know I said I hate the guy, and I do, but my god. seems I don’t hate him half as much as you do you. been nice knowing you Shindou my man

are you serious Tatami really ran all the way back up here to try and evacuate these guys one more time

SHE’S SUCH A GOOD PERSON omg if you assholes don’t listen to her you deserve to get murdered

BRO

HORIKOSHI DID YOU REALLY FUCKING DO IT I CAN’T BELIEVE IT

LOL OKAY NO, SO FAR HE’S ONLY MESSED UP HIS FACE

WHAT A SHAME WHAT A TRAGEDY. THE WORLD MOURNS

okay but seriously, now he has to be dead

r.i.p. Shindou. he died doing what he loved, talking a lot and being utterly useless

then again, damn Shindou are you really gonna come out here and be a badass?? gonna make me eat my words there kiddo?

I have absolutely no idea if I should expect this to work or not. all I know is that this is page 14, and so it would seem we really are going to spend the entire fucking chapter on fucking Shindou. this beautiful chapter had so much potential, Horikoshi. and now look at it. I hope you’re happy

nope it didn’t fucking work at all lmao

IT’S JUST LIKE I SAID. r.i.p. you pretentious handsome lump

OHHHHHH SNAP

DEKU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO LOL. anyway but it’s good to see you!! it’s good to see ANYONE other than these guys sob but especially you

FINALLY SOMETHING COOL OMG

somehow Horikoshi actually made the bunny mask look badass?? I don’t think this is sustainable, but I am here for it while it lasts

Shindou should by all rights be nothing but A HANDSOME PASTE at this point lol but WHATEVER. it’s BnHA; getting smashed into walls and cliffs has more or less the same consequences as being set on fire. slap a band-aid on it and you’re good to go

we are REALLY ENDING IT HERE huh

well. and that’s it. I just did not care about any of that lmao. a rare dud of a chapter. well, but we’ve had something like ten in a row that ranged from “pretty good” to “amazing”, so I guess that’s fair

anyway I feel like I owe you guys something other than endless bitching and moaning, so! BONUS:

now this is more like it

first of all, I’m absolutely living for this promo’s “YEET THE CHILDREN OUT OF A HELICOPTER” vibes. FUCK YEAH WE’RE HEROES BITCH

is Deku wearing a jetpack/parachute?? let’s hope he is because I’m assuming he doesn’t have Float yet, so if that’s not a jetpack then it is a LONG WAY DOWN kiddo

these maniacs actually got Deku to wear something other than his red shoes holy fuck. I’m speechless. are we sure that’s not an imposter??

Shouto has the funniest falling position I’ve ever seen. I’m assuming his left arm is not in fact tucked under his leg like it appeared to be at first glance?? like, wtf is the outline of your body right now Shouto

this is what I think it is after careful analysis, but at first I thought this kid had some hidden contortionist abilities

and then there’s this guy

I MISSED YOU YOU BIG GOON. loving the new gauntlets!! and he’s changed up his impractical metal neck thingy into arm thingies! but most importantly, ARE THESE WHAT I THINK THEY ARE

ARE THOSE WEENIES. KACCHAN. KACCHAN HAVE YOU GONE NATIVE OMFG

and meanwhile, look who’s with them! Endeavor makes perfect sense of course, but Hawks is a very welcome surprise. does this mean we can expect to see Tokoyami too? because I would fucking love that

lastly, so this confirms the whole “world heroes” thing! which we all pretty much guessed anyway lol. I wonder if this movie will take place in another country (fingers crossed). the city in the background doesn’t look particularly familiar, but this image probably wasn’t meant to be analyzed in that way lol. anyways, looking forward to this so much, PLEASE GIVE US A TRAILER SOON omg

[crimziedrawings]

I had a Elorcan story that I was really excited about but I've been too busy to actually write it so here, have the outline I created instead. It's a bit choppy, I had the fine details in my head and the outline was just to contain the general points.

The Dead Gods' Blessing (an Elorcan story)

Chapter 1

• Elide/Lorcan wake up, blissfully

• Elide reminds Lorcan that Aelin/Rowan/Fenrys/Vaughn (the gang) are visiting, he is not happy

• Lorcan makes Elide breakfast while she is bathing as a surprise

• They talk about the baby and baby names

• ~ They meet the gang outside the front door because Elide is so excited

• Lorcan's fae-male-protective-bullshit comes out

• Fenrys smirks, Rowan looks a little sad

• Elide reveals the plan for a picnic

• ~They go down to a creek nearby with a nice view

• Elide has to go to the bathroom since the baby is pushing on her bladder

• Chapter ends with Elide screaming

Chapter 2

• Lorcan and the gang runs after Elide

• They don't see her but Vaughn finds blood

• Lorcan freaks out

• Suddenly they see something move and run after it

• A creature has Elide

• They chase it down to a cliff

• The creature scrambles to stop but ultimately falls off

• Lorcan screams and tries to follow

• The Cadre holds him back

• Aelin looks down at the cliff and spots the monster impaled by the rocks, notices a human hand underneath

• Lorcan manages to get away and crawls to the edge, seeing the same as Aelin

• He screams and cries

• The rocks give way and it falls into the water

• Rowan tries to comfort him but fails as Lorcan's grief is so overwhelming that he loses control of his powers

• Aelin tries to use the bond to make Lorcan stop but is interrupted by a whisp of darkness (Lorcan's power)

• Rowan, Aelin, and Vaughn join forces to create a shield around Lorcan

• *Fenrys pov

• It last a long time unless Lorcan passes out

Chapter 3

• Lorcan wakes up in his bed

• He feels heavy and looks over for Elide

• She's not there and he remembers what happened

• He doesn't want to believe it, refuses to and starts to lose control again

• Someone comes in and injects him with something, and all of a sudden he passes out again

• ~ He wakes up again to find Rowan besides him, with red trimmed eyes and looking like a mess

• Lorcan begs "Please... Please tell me it wasn't real, I can't-"

• Rowan reaches over and grasp his shoulder, sad for his brother and says "I'm sorry"

• Lorcan continues to cry and Rowan stays with him

• Lorcan asks "How did you do this? How did you go on, please tell me how"

• Rowan replies "I didn't. I can't ever forget what happened. I spent some time in disbelief. There was a moment where I knew it was the end and I couldn't handle that. I was so close... But then someone showed up at my door. Nearly broke my door, as I recall. He told me that it's gonna hurt but I need to keep going and fight. It's what she would want. You saved me, Lorcan"

• Lorcan says "I was wrong. I did not understand what it was to be in your place. The pain, the loss, it... you lose yourself"

• Rowan says "No, you were right. Because everyday it became a little easier to breathe to the point where I found myself again. In Aelin. I am eternally grateful for your appearance because I got to meet Aelin, my real mate"

• Lorcan screams "there is no one else! There will never be anyone else! Elide is it for me, she will always be the only one. I can't do this, Rowan... it feels like all the air has been taken from me and I can't catch a breath. Elide was all that was good of me. I'm barely alive without her. And barely alive is just suffocating..."

• Rowan looks sad

• Lorcan "And I was going to be a father"

Chapter 4

• Rowan walks in to see Lorcan still in bed (he smells)

• Rowan says he need to get out of bed, he has a city to run

• Lorcan basically has given up

• Rowan talks about how it's Elide's home and his home now too so he has to get up. He also says that he is staying in Perranth for a while.

• Lorcan says he doesn't need a babysitter but gets up anyways

• He goes to take a shower and comes out to open curtains and windows, a made bed, and his clothes laid out

• He knows it was Rowan and rolls his eyes

• He gets changed and looks in the mirror, catching a glance at his ring

• He starts hurting again, but decides to go on "for you, my loves. For both of you..."

• *Rowan's pov*

• Rowan is sad for his brother but is proud of him for making that big step

• He called for a town meeting in the castle's front grounds and is watching as Lorcan steps forward on the balcony

• Lorcan announces that Elide is dead and that he will continue to build Perranth if they will have him

• The town bows, as a sign of acceptance and for Elide

• Rowan knows it's going to be hard being away from Aelin for a while but Fenrys and Vaughn are there, and his brother needs him

Chapter 5

• It is 2 and a half months later

• *Fenrys pov*

• Aelin, Fenrys and Vaughn visit again

• Fenrys and Vaughn walk in first because Aelin got distracted by some cake

• They ask Rowan how Lorcan is, he says that he has his moments but he's been strong for Perranth

• Aelin walks in and there's an explosive reunion between the two so they go off, presumably to a bedroom

• Fenrys and Vaughn walk to the library to find Lorcan there

• They try to talk but Lorcan doesn't want to talk about it

• He instead asks why they're there

• Fenrys responds that they wanted to see their brother

• Lorcan asks for the truth

• Fenrys reveals that they have a mission and that they can't protect Aelin while on the mission so she's staying in Perranth for a while

• Lorcan isn't happy

• ~ Rowan is happy to have Aelin back

• They stumble out of a closet

• Fenrys and Vaughn are distraught as they see this

• They say they're leaving

• Rowan and Aelin wish them luck

Chapter 6

• Fenrys and Vaughn are riding through the mountains

• They talk about Lorcan

• Vaughn recalls how surprised he was to hear that Lorcan was married

• Fenrys responds that he missed a lot and tries to get info on where Vaughn was all this time, but he still won't tell

• Fenrys talks about how good Elide is and how happy Lorcan was with her and about being a dad

• "Out of all of us, he deserves that peace the most"

• Vaughn announces that he spotted the cave entrance, the one that the anonymous tip gave

• They tie up their horses and prepare, then go inside

• They go in further and eventually come across different paths so they decide to split up

• Fenrys scouts the hallways for a while, passing numerous rooms

• He hears footsteps so he ducks into a room quickly

• He freezes and waits for the footsteps to pass

• He exhales, is relieved, but then a voice startles him

• "What do you want"

• He swirls around, seeing darkness

• Then a candle is lit, and his eyes start to adjust

• "Fenrys? Is that you?"

• Fenrys cannot believe what he is seeing "Elide?"

Chapter 7

• Elide is happy to see Fenrys

• Fenrys is confused as to how she is alive, they saw her body being impaled and crushed

• Elide explains that the creature had another person in its hold-after all, it had 6 arms, and that she was dropped while the creature was running

• Elide understands how they could've believed she was dead

• She asks how Lorcan is

• Fenrys responds that he's breathing but only to run Perranth, for her

• Elide is sad

• Fenrys asks how she got there

• Elide says that after the creature dropped her and she passed out when she hit her head, she was found by some travelers. They took her to their home in the mountains and cared for her. They were behind on some debts and were taken, the people assumed Elide was one of them and took her as well, next thing she knows she is in this dark room alone

• Fenrys asks if she's ready to go home

• Elide is nearly crying, nodding

• He goes to check the hallways and when he turns back, Elide is wrapping a scrap piece of fabric around one shoulder, it slinging around her small frame

• Fenrys finds it weird but shrugs it off

• Then Elide is bending behind the bed and picking something up, putting it into the fabric so that it is held up

• Elide walks over to Fenrys, ready to go

• His breath catches as he sees that it's a baby

• "His name is Ragnar"

Chapter 8

• Fenrys is speechless, struck dumb at the realization that he didn't even consider the survival of the child. The first thing that comes to his mind is "its a boy?"

• Elide chuckles softly and responds with yes

• Fenrys is reminded of the situation and checks the hallway before pulling Elide behind him

• They manage to get out safely and go back to the horses

• They realize they have to wait for Vaughn

• Elide figures they have some time to kill and looks down fondly at Ragnar and says "do you want to meet your uncle fenrys?"

• Fenrys is near tears when he hears her

• Elide asks "do you want to hold him"

• Fenrys is hesitant but Elide assures him that it will be fine, he won't bite

• Fenrys is amazed at how light and small he is. Also how beautiful. He definitely looks like Lorcan.

• Elide ask for water, Fenrys says that its in the pack around the horse

• Vaughn comes back and stops when he sees Fenrys and the baby

• ".... did you steal a baby?"

• Fenrys looks up and smiles

• Vaughn is confused but then he sees Elide coming around the horse

• He is in disbelief, and his confusion of the baby is resolved when Fenrys hands him back to Elide

• Fenrys says he'll explain later, they have to get them home

Chapter 9

• *Elide's pov*

• Long ride, thinking of her time and much she misses Lorcan

• Vaughn was able to go a little faster as Fenrys did not want to harm Ragnar, only a mile ahead or so

• Because of that, when Fenrys and Elide arrived, Vaughn was already searching for Lorcan in the castle

• Elide hands Ragnar to Fenrys and slides down the horse

• Aelin and Rowan were in the nearby garden so they came out at all the commotion

• Aelin cries when she sees Elide and runs to hold her

• They are both crying

• Elide looks over and sees Rowan then goes to hug him

• She pulls back, looks at them both and says "would you like to meet your nephew?"

• Aelin gasps as Fenrys steps forward with Ragnar

• Fenrys looks at Elide and she nods

• Rowan has tears in his eyes as Fenrys hands Ragnar to him

• The front door burst open and suddenly Lorcan is there, panting

• Elide sobs as she sees him and start making her way toward him

• Lorcan runs to her and they meet halfway

• Lorcan picks her up and holds her, small kisses in between words

• Lorcan "Elide, Elide"

• Elide "I've missed you so much"

• Lorcan "It's really you"

• Elide "Yes, yes, it's me"

• Lorcan "I love you so fucking much, you are never allowed to leave my sight, ever"

• They share a big kiss and both have tears running down their faces

• Lorcan "I was so lost without you"

• Elide "You seem to have found your way just fine"

• Lorcan "No... I kept going, for Perranth, for you... but I broke down everyday"

• Elide is speechless, "Lorcan..."

• Lorcan "Now that you're here, I can finally breathe again"

• Another kiss

• Lorcan rests with his eyes closed, breathing in her scent

• Elide "Do you want to see your son?"

• Lorcan's breath catches as his eyes shoot open. He takes a few stuttering breaths before asking "I have a son?"

• He looks over at Rowan who is now standing a few feet away

• Rowan is smiling down at the babe

• Elide walks over and takes Ragnar from Rowan, then walks back to Lorcan

• Lorcan is barely breathing at this point

• Elide places Ragnar into Lorcan's arms

• Lorcan "My son"

• Elide steps closer and says "I've named him Ragnar"

• L "My Ragnar"

• Ragnar opens his eyes at Lorcan

Chapter 10 (Final Chapter)

• Elide and Lorcan are laying in bed with Ragnar in the middle

• Elide and Ragnar are asleep, Lorcan is not

• Lorcan gazed lovingly at his son

• Elide wakes up and sees that Lorcan is awake

• Elide "you need to get some sleep"

• Lorcan "I can't"

• There's a look

• Lorcan "I've had many dreams like this, where you come back and we have our child and we are finally a family... but then I wake up. And it kills me every time"

• Elide reaches over to rest her hand above his, which is resting lightly on Ragnar's stomach "this is real, my love"

• Lorcan looks at Ragnar and decides that it is real, because even his dreams could not picture his son being so beautiful

• He is reminded of how he felt when she told him he was pregnant, and how his fears ranged throughout her pregnancy

• Then he remembers that she went through childbirth alone and is heartbroken and angry

• Lorcan "I am so sorry"

• Elide "For what?"

• Lorcan "You brought our son into this world by yourself"

• Elide has a moment and then says "It was hard. But I kept hearing your voice, telling me to stay strong so that we could- so that we could be a family. In a way, you were there"

• Lorcan grabs her hand and kisses it as not to disturb Ragnar

• Elide whispers "I love you" before drifting off to sleep

• Lorcan kisses Ragnar's head and strokes Elide's hand as he says "I love you too"

• He falls asleep

• ~ Lorcan wakes up to find Elide and Ragnar gone and starts freaking out, thinking it truly was a dream again

• Then Elide walks out of the bathroom, holding Ragnar to her chest

• He sighs in relief

• Elide says to Ragnar "Look who's awake"

• Elide settles into bed next to Lorcan

• Lorcan kisses Elide deeply, the fear that had pulsed through his body still causing him to think irrationally

• Lorcan "it wasn't a dream"

• Elide "I told you"

• Lorcan smiles and looks down at Ragnar "and how's my boy?"

• Ragnar is looking around the room and his eyes rest on Lorcan, then his arms reach out towards him

• Elide "I think he wants his papa"

• Lorcan takes Ragnar from Elide as she say that she's going to take a bath

• Elide "Tonight, Aelin and Rowan are going to watch Ragnar"

• Lorcan "What? Why?" He just got his son, and he wants to spend time with him

• Elide "Because we have a lot of catching up to do" she winks and pulls her nightgown off before walking into the bathroom

• Lorcan is left staring after her, thanking the universe, the dead gods, whatever the hell is out there for this moment, for his family

[sapphorarelyreads]

19/2/21 Notes from my diary?

I want to love. I want to love someone. No, I’m not desperate, it’s just I want someone so hard like it’s stopping me from functioning as a person. I do realize that at the core of this lies the reason that is I want someone who tells me how they truly feel about me, someone who likes me and I can like them back, someone I can be honest with, someone who sees me for who I am and doesn’t adjust with/ endure my presence rather who celebrates it and loves it and someone who wants to spend time with me, someone who is not embarrassed of me. Like literally fucking love I guess idk shit about it anyways. I want someone who loves me like Patroclus loves Achilles, someone who loves me like 1D fans love the band, or someone who loves me like Patrick loves David or how Ted loves Alexis. I can’t fathom the feeling when I hear songs about heartbreak or love, because I can relate to them but not, like its confusing cause I’ve never been in such a situation. Sometimes I feel like I’m sick of myself, I’m tired, sickly, useless, worthless and honestly, I’m just a speck of dust in the universe waiting to mysteriously disappear. Like my presence or absence won’t affect anyone like if you remove me from an equation, it still remains the same, it isn’t altered or progressed or anything. And no, I think that self-worth/confidence is something made up to basically feel better about yourselves. Like, my problem is kind of like, eh, there are two peaks, overconfidence and underconfidence?? So, like, most people, that I know of, seem to exist in-between or like, it’s basically a spectrum for them. I find it impossible to exist in-between, though I of all people should know better given the fact that I was average in every single fucking thing in my entire time spent here, I can’t. So when given the option, I opt for the extremes. And overconfidence is just ego, pride and all that shit and I know that once I get into it, I can’t control myself from messing things up (not intentionally) whereas with underconfidence, there is no risk involved and I just shrivel into a ball in the corner and float away, not into a world of my own but a world where everyone exists and I just don’t.

Like, not killing myself or something but like my non-existence would be the happiest thing that will have ever happened to anyone. Sometimes my mind tells me to eat too much of something, be it food or medicine or sometimes I like to light tiny stuff on fire and smell the gases released. I feel like I’m not me. My face is not mine neither is my body. My face looks like that of someone who is mean or the ‘bad’ type or the ‘boastful’ type and its hard for me to conform to that notion. I want to love my body, I want to learn to love my body but I can’t, it’s like a shield is stopping me from passing through. I just want to confirm that this ‘rant’ isn’t due to the fact that I’m having my periods right now but rather a locked or an unknown cave or a dungeon being discovered. I read books, watch movies, listen to songs, where people, people like me, fall in love, go through stuff and I want to be there, in that position, experiencing the things they do, because honestly, my entire life and not to forget, my existence, feels like a complete lie, made up to satisfy a role like that of a tree or rock in school plays. I honestly wish that I don’t deserve all these good things, good people and kind stuff. Like I deserve to be pushed off a fucking cliff for not contributing to the development of humanity. I can’t think on my own. All I do is assimilate stuff and I keep copying others’ behaviors and habits and try to find or complete me as a person. Like, I’m not kidding, every single aspect of my behavior and personality is widely influenced, more like counterfeited from people I know or people I met. I can’t even differentiate or side with stuff and I get influenced by every single person I talk to and I pick up their behavior or habit. For instance, if you’re reading this you would’ve noticed that I used the word ‘like’ frequently. I picked it up from a person. And when I text, I always start with lowercase, again, picked it from a person; my hair, my clothes, and every fucking thing about me, except my physiology, gender and sexuality, I picked it from a person. The lack of originality makes me aghast and amuses me like why am I this human who is never original. Like the only ‘original’ thing I did was probably right this shit as an essay and like I (sighs), can’t deal with it right now. I’m going to sleep, i.e., lie on the bed, shut my eyes, try not to hurt/harm myself and others, thinking about pretty girls and wlw songs and try to have a dream where I date a girl. 

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

I've been asking around this one question for a few people now, because I like hearing what people have to say about it...

So I wouldn't mind it if you shared a list on who's your favourite (from Most to Least) from the Obey Me! Crew (Brothers & Formally Undatables)...

Also, please feel free to ramble on about why you placed them in each space...

O-oh dear-

First off, you spoil an infodumper like me too much lol (I am happy sfjsjjdjn) and I am going to go overboard (and changing the order of things) for my own pleasure.

And so...

Second off...

Gladly

Here is My List of LEAST to MOST Favorite of The Obey Me Boys ^^

That I just did on spot because I didn't have one ready because it's hard for me to rate the characters as they all have their traits and even their flaws add something good to the character but I'll be dammed if I don't enjoy deep frying my brain for fun.

Please take note I am taking this literally and all characters in here are FAVORITES, just some will be more and some less, which mean I LIKE ALL OF THEM. Yes, I have changed my opinion on a certain two characters I have said to not like, and I am not ashamed to say I was incorrect.

So let's start this off with the right foot shall we?

#12 | Diavolo

He is still infuriating I won't deny that. And I won't pity him though he is a tragic character that is so lonely he overrates any kind of affection, that doesn't know how to interact with others without exagerating, that has no one to give an oposing opinion because of his status and so it's increasingly hard for him to learn to make good decisions, and with his goal to unite the realms I could almost say he is naive. He's a bit of a puppy always wanting some pets, but as a not dog person, I don't have enough in me to be always playing, so to me an overly needy puppy can end up getting annoying, though of course, I can't help it but at least give it a few pets before going my way.

.

#11 | Simeon

Yes in the end I actually liked him all along but was just in denial after I thought about it. Simeon is a good character, he's a dick even though he's an angel and he doesn't bother to be any different, he definetelly has his own set of rules he follows and I believe he would be a Chaotic Good just like me. He's well made. And as much as he is pretty unlikeable, the mystery, the questions, the fact that he has always been the same we just didn't get to interact with him much to see it, to have a naturally asshole character put down some of his walls to help us even if part out of possible self interest. And of course he's also fun. Simeon is charming, and I have come to appreciate all of him.

.

#10 | Luke

A kid. A brat and a tsundere. I Absolutely love the character development and it's extremelly adorable. He's now officially our guardian angel and I love that. He was just a prick that I rolled my eyes so hard whenever I encountered him in the game and now he's just a lil' bratty brother that is fun to tease and squish the cheeks off. He's a really nice kid in the end, just previously ignorant, but still nice because he was willing to learn and change despise saying he didn't want to. I personally can understand Luke as I was pretty alike as a kid. Again, he's a nice kid I would gladly buy some balloons and cotton candy for.

.

#9 | Barbatos

The number 1 buttler, he's just, a good dude l o l. He has his distance from everyone due to his position but that doesn't make him any less interesting. He is mysterious and powerful and yet he feels, so chill. He's also fun and actually has a pretty soft personality in which he knows exactly when to switch off to strict. He's a character I respect and wish existed in real life so I could be friends with (╥﹏╥).

.

#8 | Solomon

Shady sorcerer is actually a pretty good guy though mildly insane. He is actually responsable (and takes it pretty seriously seeing he's basically the representative of the human realm). He's kind though again, mildly insane, and diligent. He may have terrible food but the fact he does it with good intentions is pretty adorable, he just likes to follow his instincts and be spontaneous because he likes new and exciting things. He probably has quite a bit of angst to him due to his not only immortality in not aging but also by not being able to be killed but even so it feels that, contrary to how many human immortals end, he still hasn't lost the light in his eyes and can still enjoy things and enjoy being alive, and that is most likely thanks to other immortal/long living beings such as demons.

.

#7 | Lucifer

Yep. Lucifer is actually a really fucking great character, he's fond of his family, hard worker to the point of destroying himself, self punisher, elegant, pretty af, cute at times. But not exactly my most favorable cup of tea. Seeing I can see through his bullshit all his posessiveness, all his pettiness, all his actions just becomes ridiculous and annoying. And theres also a problem with the fact we always end up submiting to him, I don't want that. For every time he disrespects me I want him to kneel and kiss my feet. His pride collides with my own, and his decisions do too. But even so he is very reliable and so he has my respect for that, I do want to hug him and tell him he deserves nice things and that he can rest now this is not the war anymore you don't have to bow down to anyone anymore you didn't doom your brothers but freed them instead, but then again he makes bad decisions because he has zero braincells for emotional intelligence and that pisses me off and makes me just want to yeet him off a cliff. Yeah Lucifer, I would gladly kick you in the balls with ♡°.•love•.°♡.

.

#6 | Leviathan

Surprising is it not? But it's true, I often focus on Levi due to him not only being pretty alike to me but also because he's related to many things I have been familiar with since I was born: animes and games. His anxiousness is relatable, the outcastness is relatable, the awkwardness is relatable, the obsession is relatable, the references are relatable, the infodumping is relatable. He's very relatable to me, but not my most favorite, and all because of his envy. He's a guilt tripper, and though I am long immune to it in real life due to extreme exposure to it from my family, it still is enough for his rank to go down. I still love him though, but mostly as the character that represents the thing I am most familiar with in life: myself.

.

#5 | Beelzebub

Big puppy, he's the type of guy who will talk to plants. He has big and strong hands that could crush anything and yet he will do his best to handle some things gently. He's chill and non judgemental, loyal to the core. Once you win him over, you win him over, he would die for you. He is purposely childish at times and it's cute. He is amazing. I wish I could enjoy eating like he does. He's the only character I truly feel hurt for, as he is deeply inflicted by survivor's guilt and it just pains me I can't comfort him because he isn't real ಥ‿ಥ

.

#4 | Belphegor

Hoh boy. The brat. The fandom itself is pretty divided on their liking of Belphie and it's understandable lol. But I personally understand Belphie. To hide hurt behind anger, hate and spite, to turn to agression to prove a point but you end up just fucking up. But the guilt and wish to fix things can lead one to giving themselves up, and so it becomes a constant battle of getting close but not too close for the sake of both parties involved. I get this boy more than I wish I ever did, and that's why he's high on the ranking. And because he's cute ngl.

.

#3 | Satan

H o h b o y, another one that reminds me of myself, only it's the aftermath of the above where one bottles up all their negative feelings because being emotional is not being rational and who the fuck even wants to not be rational. Where you have no fucking idea who you are because all you know is to stomp your feet and scream for the sake of making an statement but that just proved all your enemies a point so now you turn to smarts to prove yourself. To make others angry, to make them frustrated and infuriated with your knowledge because you want to prove yourself, be reconized for who you are, to be someone and also, hopefully, change other people's ways, to make them understand they are wrong because you deep down actually want to get along with them. Yeah, Satan is high on the list, and it's also because he likes detectives uwu.

.

#2 | Asmodeus

What a fucking icon he is I love him okay. It frustrates me when people use cheating as a angst prompt for him as he's obviously someone who just isn't made for monogamy, and he's pretty honest and I feel he would have nothing to hide and would talk it all out with all his partners. He's a sweetheart that works hard on daily basis and hour after hour to mantain an image, he likes the attention, he wants to be loved. If anyone mildly self centered ever told me 'I love you as much as I love myself' I would marry them on spot. Asmo is just incredibly sweet and I love all his affection and respect him for all the work he does to make a good impression and look up to that self confidence even though most of it is actually just him trying to convince himself. Also perfect example off gender is an ilusion lol.

.

#1 | Mammon

Yep, our number 1, The Great Mammon, the most lovable dumbass that has been by our side from the start though with a bit of whining. This man is perfect. He has incredible self control over his powers, and as someone who used to be an angel to be able to use money all you want bro. I wouldn't feel bad either. He's our protector from start to end to the point he focuses on us instead of the queen in the Dame event. He isn't stupid just has selective focus just like me! And all the people with ADHD and many other neurodivergents. When he wants something he does is perfectly and diligently, he just needs the right push at the right time. He's the most good of all demons and even angels and he loves all his brothers deeply, he is always there to support everyone to the point of even allowing himself to be the punching bag for the sake of them not turning too much on one another. He was literally our first SSR card, our first call, our first pact, our first and the best. He IS great, truly.

[pokedash55]

Raincloud HC and Mini Fic

BENTHOMAAR/VANIA HC DUMP.

 CAN BE READ PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC BUT THESE TWO WOULD BE PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER EITHER WAY

Inspired By @parachutingkitten

- They saw each other at the nya tribute but didn't get to actually meet

-Bentho became king of merlopians but struggles with citizens seeing him as a real king, as many still are distrustful of the surface world

-He has gluttonous there as the royal scientist and Gripe helps him out, but the citizens still don’t view him has a true king after what happened with Kalmaar

-Bentho and Vania have a cordial meeting for royal business

-Vania is struggling less with her people and more with her city economically recovering.

-Bentho wants to bind the kingdoms somehow, since her kingdom is so inland that if they had good relations with a mountainous region it's one step closer to accepting him.

-They are skeptical of SURFACE DWELLERS not humans so it's a good try. 

-establishes trade and economic relations with each other. Maybe trade or sell deepstone and bioluminescent stones for jewelry and architecture in return for some shintaro product unavailable under the sea. Maybe a metal or type of cuisine? Not sure. Flowers perhaps since they have so many in the garden. 

-Both relate to having less than respectable family members and share experiences with defeating them

-share new ruler problems they face and can relate to each other very well

-benthomaar can keep up with the bubbly energy of Vania and they both have a backbone to keep their bond from being too unhealthy, fluffy and overly optimistic.

-bentho has trauma from kalmaar's abuse and goes overboard to try and impress vania and thinks he has to be the best damn guy and best royal ally possible to keep her current friendship

-Vania is pretty easily impressed and is very vocal with her admiration so he'll be overwhelmingly happy and confused when she latches on so quickly.

-she'll show him around the sky city, bentho never been so high up, and can introduce him to her allies down below.

-Bentho loves the caves much more than the city in the sense that it's more comforting and all the underwater streams and lakes remind him of home.

-all streams lead to the ocean so I'm not surprised if they find out the water is connected to merlopian seas some how

- this can also work to compliment the kingdoms

- Like Merlopia can reach out and achieve diplomacy with another kingdom instead of being so islationist, and shintaro struggles with moving on from a unsustainable and horrific economic system so they could help eachother alot. 

-Both very isolated so coming together may be a good step for both countries’

-Merlopians could be accepting of geckles and munce since they live below the surface, and the shintarins live high above it (so they couldn’t flood it even if they wanted to). It’s baby steps towards liking the rest of NINJAGO as a continent. 

-When they become closer friends she Opts for calling him Ben or Benny, since she is so outgoing and bubbly like that, but immediately backtracks and asks if it was ok and apologizes, saying she went over the line

- He would stand up for himself and deny BENNY but I think Ben would be a cute name between the two uwu

-Benthomaar is naturally formal in his ruling and has to push himself to relax while Vania is very lax and friendly with her ruling but needs to push herself to be demanding and formal (She took awhile to use the “Princess” card against Halmaar, opting instead for mutual understanding)

-ok quasi-fic time

___________________________________________________________

FIC SKELETON (might finish writing someday but here’s the basics with some interaction)

 summary: : They spend the day learning about each other kingdoms, and in turn eachother. 

________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 1: Shintaro

Vania goes about giving Bentho a tour of her city and he is overly courteous of her. She finds it cute at first but then she starts worrying if Benthomaar thinks she can’t handle herself.

Introduces Bentho to Chompy. He finds the dragon very cute and that gets a big smile out of him, really showing off his very sharp teeth. Chompy loves him immediately and starts to climb over him and sit on his head and stuff. Bentho reciprocates pretty much immediately, no stranger to the values of an animal's unconditional love. (The only love that ever seems unconditional in his experience.)

 He has trust issues from Kalmaar and tries extra hard to earn love so he goes overboard sometimes, he’ll be the sort to open doors literally all the time, agree with her ideas more aggressively than is really needed, go out of his way to try and physically protect her from perceived threats, etc. Not knowing this fact, and being insecure about her own leadership skills, she thinks he is babying her, or worse, pitying her. She eventually tells him that she can indeed handle herself. 

“I can handle myself Benthomaar, you don’t have to do all these things for me.”

“I… Know that”

“You’re very sweet and I appreciate your generosity but… this”, gestures to all the things he bought or given or made for her, and gestures to the situation they were in where he immediately went to protect her from, “simply is too much”

The walk back is a tad awkward after that. Bentho remarks he’s never been so high up before and he does seem very dry from the heavy winds and cold air. 

Good thing it’s about time to show him the lower parts of the Kingdom anyway. 

“Halmar, I am escorting Benthomaar down through the mountain. Can you be in charge while I’m gone.”

“As you wish my queen”

Benthomaar looked the armored man up and down. “Halmaar? Are you of royal blood too?” he asked.

“What?” Halmar bluntly questioned aloud to the merlopean king before sputtering out in a bow, “I mean, Pardon?... Your majesty” 

“Benthomaar this is Halmar. My right hand advisor and head of our defensive force.”

“Oh. In my people, -Maar is given to that of royalty. ‘Halmaar’ means Brave Sea. ”

“Well I can assure you he’s very brave.” Vania beamed as Halmar recovered from his bow. “And will protect the city while I'm gone” she reminded him playfully, as she moved benthomaar out of the temple. 

________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 2: The Dungeons

Going through the dungeons vania remarks on her father’s previous ruling over it. They share stories and struggles. 

Talks about her father and how the ninja came to help. Goes into the topic of her ruling struggles. 

“Now that I have helped bring King Vangelis, my father I mean, to justice, people expect me to fix everything. They come to me asking for plans to retain Shintaro's glory, or with pleas for more funds. The people put so much faith in my father and, although his actions were Terrible… it made the city so wonderful for everyone living here. I don’t think I’ll be able to make Shintaro prosper the way he did. I love my people but they expect so much of me all at once. I admit It is very difficult to keep track of it all.”

“That sounds rough, but at least your subjects care for you. The people of Merlopia don’t see me as their king...and they have every right to. I helped the surface dwellers and my actions led to Kalmaar’s death. In their eyes I am a traitor…. Many don’t follow my commands unless they are directed through Gripe. It’s understandable they won’t respect me… I was adopted after all...”

“Well I respect you. Why, from the past--” counts on her fingers with a tongue sticking out “-- three hours I’ve officially known you, I’d say you’re a wonderful ruler! I hereby royally dub you a great king! You can tell your people that!”

*Small air laugh recovering from his Sadness* “Thank you, Vania. I don’t know how much they’ll regard a compliment from the mouth of a ‘surface dweller’, though”  

*Smol vania /hj sad pout to one side*

“But I appreciate it, really!!” He corrected arms waving at his front, trying to recover from his previous, in his eyes, disrespectful remark (also in his eyes failing horribly at doing so. He needs to queen to like him. This isn’t going well and-)

“I know you do.” she beamed, “ Now Come on, I see the cart tracks we’re getting closer!!” she happily stated, almost skipping past the new King.  

Bentho looked onward at the long haired blond who was trying to walk and balance on the rim of the track, and smiled with relief that she is so easy going at him. He essentially disregarded her royal decree to her face and she brushed it off like nothing. Trimaar had always honored heavy respect towards other royals but it seems this Queen runs things very differently. Even the day had been tame. It felt more like some playdate than an official royal gathering,but with how stressful becoming King had been it was a pleasant change of pace. 

“Hey Bentho! We’re HEeeereee!” Vania waved excitedly as the other royal caught up to her standing near a steep ledge leading down to an opening with a large passageway. 

Have to go down a large mountainous trench first to reach the dungeons. Benthomaar prepares to scale down the cliff but Vania brings out her wings and tells bentho to hold on. She flies him down the cave--

(Flying is vaguely exciting, but also vaguely terrifying. He’s never really had to deal with the possibility of falling before. Buildings in Merlopia aren’t that tall and you literally can’t fall underwater, there’s always something supporting you.) 

The two meet up with the chancellor of the geckles first. He welcomes Queen Gania and her friend Genthomaar and he asks first for trial by mino, but Vania orders him off. Scoffing at her majesty’s boring overriding of their usual procedures he opts for a simple vote for bringing the new unfamiliar face to the munce queen. Bentho gets rocks thrown at him and the geckles cheer as they escort the two to where murtessa is. Vania giggles at him.

 Next up is the muntz. 

So she'd challenge him to a quick duel to see if he is a fitting ally. Naturally Benthomaar rocks with a spear, so he's good, but he'll be really confused at first and probably not want to fight her.

He doesn’t win, but Murtessa sees through his fighting that he has a good heart, and a brave one. She declares him an ally of the Munce. King Menthomaar. And then gives him a hearty slap on the back and invites them all to dinner. They politely decline (Vania, to preserve her stomach. Munce food is, ah, something else.) 

Murtessa thinks Bentho is a good kid and a good fighter. She thinks it's funny how polite he is, though. Gives him some royal advice that he’d be a little better off if he would carry himself like a king. “Confidence! Important in every Munce ruler!” 

Bentho finds her and Munce a bit...much, but they also kind of remind him of the Maaray back home so he also finds it kind of familiar. (Also he doesn’t know it, but shark Merlopians are kind of rough and tumble, too. Like Munce, but without tight knit families or a set kingdom.) 

________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 3: Merlopia

Goes back to the temple to discuss whats next. 

“If we are going to be partners in this royal engagement, I think you should see My homeland. Merlopia”

Vania just laughs at his wording

“What did I say?” Genuine confused babi just trying to be overly courteous cause he feels like he must be a GOOD KING. ULTRA KING.

Brings her to the beach. He signals her to wait there and he dives into the water to ask nya for some help in bringing Vania down the depths. She knew the bare basics of what happened but seeing nya in such a state made her a tad saddened. 

“Nya. Can you help bring my friend to Merlopia?”

Nya nods all slow and goddess like. “You helped me defeat Wojira, correct? For that I’ll grant you this.”

“Thank you, nya”

“That’s NYA??” 

“Do I… know you.”

She just frowns at that question. She knew she and nya were not super close but to be forgotten like that. Ouch. “I guess not”

Nya makes a large air bubble and descends quickly down the depths. And like cool camera pans and junk and bentho is riding the wave nya is making outta the bubble and vania sticks her head outta the bubble for a sec to meet his gaze and feel the current go by. Fluff insues

“Don’t worry there is air in the palace”

Vania just loudly exclaims in relief cause honestly she was prepared to be living in a bubble forever. 

Nya just...disintegrates. Which is a bit strange to see, even for Vania who usually likes weird stuff. But she doesn’t linger on it long because ooooohhh Merlopia is so pretty! I mean Shintaro is pretty too but this is a whole different kind of pretty. It’s like the gardens of Shintaro, but that’s the whole city. It’s so colorful compared to the flawless Ivory City. 

They tour around a little bit, with Vania looking at everything in interest. She even likes the Royal Ripper Sharks (who are being treated a bit nicer now that Kalmaar is gone, and are sicced on people far less frequently than before.) Benthomaar gets a bit nervous when Gripe runs up to him with a bunch of kingly concerns and kind of tells him a lot of noncommittal responses. 

Since they declined dinner with the Munce, Vania’s stomach starts rumbling, and she embarrassedly admits that she was pretty hungry. 

Benthomaar invites her to dinner in Merlopia. 

They eat  while discussing trade stuff and diplomacy? (And also their day and the G&M and such.) 

Also a fun chance to make up some Merlopian culture and food, and for him to share it with her. Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot of fish. But that’s honestly great because they don’t have a lot of that in Shintaro. There are a few streams a hike away that she's had every now and again, but for the most part fish isn’t something eaten often in Shintaro. 

Benthomaar is pretty happy with this set-up because he had been eating dinner all by himself which was very lonely and wistful.  It's much nicer with her company, and he needs her to know that, and really wants her to stay around and to like him so that they can do this again. So his super-manners-having-to-prove-himself-worthy-of-friendship kick in again and he starts getting super formal and passing her stuff and offering dishes a little overzealously and such and she's like "this again what the huh?"

“My lord, you're...doing it again.” 

“Sorry, I’ll do better.” 

“Better? You’re doing just fine. Really. The meal is great, the presentation is beautiful, and you’re being so kind. I just...don’t need this much attention at once, that’s all.” 

No I’m not it’s not good enough. I’m not good enough. * frowns silently * *internal screaming * 

They decide to meet again later to discuss trade and commerce deals and both bow goodbye after dinner, but soon as she leaves the dining room and gets lost roaming the temple (this palace is constructed like the caves how do they find anything) eventually ends back up at the dining room, where benthomaar is cleaning up the table and stacking the used dishes and they both realize that she can't get back up on her own. They share a laugh and Bentho promises to escort her back up.

Vania wonders why he is cleaning and not the palace servents so she decides to help him clean up, since it seems his people weren’t going to. 

The end

(Also Nya is busy being a goddess somewhere else, so they’ll have to get her transportation back at a later date. With any luck there’s an air-breather-friendly manta saddle that they can use for her.)

________________________________________________________________

They are too precious for this world someone please do more of thisssss