#i am barely alive
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pretty a few months ago i asked you if you could deliver some good inosakutema art bc i loved your sakura x girls 4x4 art. just wanted to ask if you're doing fine just keep rolling with your art it's amazing love zutara, love sasusaku and love everything you do.
Thank you, Anon! yeah, I remember I started sketching them but forgot to finish it here you go
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reading last nights lb like the morning paper today
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LazyBug is back, and all out of Tea
#hi friends. im still alive and kicking. barely. lol i am trying to get my bearings back.#miraculous ladybug#chat noir#ladybug#lazybug
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There will be justice.
#...this was supposed to be ONE drawing but it turned into this... mini comic lol#this was also much longer originally but i just don't have time aughh#i'm barely alive anyway so#i am definitely not a comic artist as you can see but this was fun#AGAIN highly referenced#better call saul#better call saul fanart#bcs#nacho varga#ignacio varga#lalo salamanca#also tagging this as#lacho#<3#gus fring#emimi#my art#digital art#breaking bad#brba#blood#death#tw blood#tw death#snakes#comic
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doodle
#drawing#fantasy#elf#art#my art#doodle#dnd#original character#i am still alive#barely though i am a ball of stress with moving
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"Ssshh, Ava...sssshh..."
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danny and officer martinez's relationship in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" in a nutshell:
Martinez: FREAK! GET YOUR FUCKING KID!
Battinson, on the other side of the crime scene: he don't bite
Martinez, with Nightingale firmly attached his arm, visibly biting him: YES HE DO!
*points at them* Danny is the Bugs Bunny to Martinez's Elmer Fudd.
Another Officer: i can't believe you're fighting with an actual twelve year old. Martinez: i swear to god that is not a twelve year old, that is a little hellion that crawled out of batman's shadow one dark and stormy night and decided to dedicate his existence to tormenting me. Officer: Are you really that mad about him putting a sticky note on your back-- Martinez: thats not the point
in danny's defense: the word "freak" is. a mini beserker button for him for.... obvious ghostly reasons, so like, even if its not directed at him, he still very much unappreciates Martinez's insults at Battinson. Danny may or may not be projecting.
he's not going to hurt the guy! not in any serious or permanently disfiguring way at least! But he is going to leave mean sticky notes on the square part of his spine that he can't reach, and stick salt in his 3AM Late Night Crime Scene Coffee, and kick the bottom of his heel while he's walking so he stumbles. And other petty, infuriating things that tally up and boil over, over time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#blood blossom au#dpxdc memes#dpxdc au#the only thing martinez is right about is the fact that danny is. in fact. NOT twelve.#he's just shrimpy because he's half-dead#there's eventually a 'martinez vs nightingale' board in the precinct called the beef board. it tallies every time one of them gets got by#the other. danny is currently in the lead by a wide margin. martinez is very limited in what he can do bc of multiple reasons. but one#of them is the fact that batman HAS punched a cop before. three actually. and he won't hesitate to punch another if martinez actually did#anything to harm nightingale. and also nightingale shows up so rarely and doesnt stick around long enough for martinez to retaliate#or properly plan ahead. its kinda a wild card whether or not nightingale pops up on the scene.#nightingale: i am just a little guy!! the littlest of boy!! baddabing-baddaboom! you wouldn't do nothin to a little guy would'ya?#battinson who atp knows full well that if it werent for the blood blossom danny could turn martinez into a red smear: *would you?*#danny: if it werent for the laws of this land i would have committed acts of violence against You Specifically :)#and also like. every single other officer insulting batman and callin him a freak. they're not safe either martinez is just the poor sucker#that i have a name to give the face to#danny's a good kid but also i don't picture him totally.. hm... mentally stable? he's a little spicy. as a treat.#he's kind at his core but also he found his family's corpses and was isolated from society for 4 months by his abusive godfather and was#poisoned with quite literally the only toxin capable of destroying him entirely and can no longer (currently) use his powers without dying#instantly. so he's! he's doing his best! like between being chaotic and being kind he's def gonna choose being kind but also.#he's living on borrowed time and is in a constant active state of being slowly eaten alive by his own bloodstream. it weighs on ya psyche#danny's barely even processed his family's death and now he's got all this other trauma stacked on top to address. he is Windows EXP rn#tormenting martinez is just. an itty bitty way he can let loose some of the stress he's ignoring.#considering danny's alternate timeline was: world annihilation. he thinks he's doing pretty well all things considered
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filler petrigrof doodle cause im busy
#my art#adventure time#simon petrikov#betty grof#petrigrof#sorry for barely any activity i am Fighting to stay alive rn while my body is trying to render me immobile#ill make some more art soon but this might be the like. second or third to last petrigrof for a while before procreate dreams#after i finish some of the things im currently working on & am not half dead ill make some more at art#and maybe some nge art too
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Passages from The Spirit Bares Its Teeth that make me, noted viscera autistic, feel very Seen
#the spirit bares its teeth#andrew joseph white#I’m just over half way through and enjoying it immensely#the mc isn’t as violent as I am/would be but like. that’s also definitely why he’s still alive#ecdysing
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been playing the worst game of all time again, sooo have a sketch of the pretty boi (straight out of my sketchbook ooohhh a mysterious place, only crazyness happens there)
#dbd#dbd the wraith#the wraith#sketchbook#i still am alive yes#barely#dead by daylight#ngl he reminds me of sylvari so much sometimes#like his head just be like that one spikey hair style yk#ghost tree boyos rock
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So I decided to spin the wheel by @onefey since I saw so many mutuals getting really cute PMD Teams.
Meet hero Lucky (Girafarig) and partner Biggs (Wimpod). Never in my life have I considered a Girafarig as my potential PMD-sona but here we are despite it all. Even though I was skeptical at first I am now in permanent love.
Gotta think of an Exploration Team name now... hm.
#tagging you per request onefey#what a fun little thing you did thanks for giving me an excuse to doodle#i'm enlightened now i'm a changed person#i've always been kinda “eh” about girafarig especially the shiny but now i think i might genuinely love them#also i'm very average height so the idea of evolving into something tall like farigiraf is hilarious to me#and wimpod... my beloved#i could not have gotten a better partner i love golisopod so much#to all my mutuals out there... if you're reading this i am alive but only barely#i have not forgotten you guys and i think about you daily despite disappearing off the face of the earth#been pushing myself to try and be online again but things have been rough#to anyone that has sent me discord messages that i haven't replied too--#--i promise i read them and they made me smile#i'll try to talk to you guys soon! <3
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nui shenanigans
#doodles#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#yuzumido#hi ive been in an absolute Situation lately 👍 gonna drop off the face of the earth again so long fellas#enstars#yuzuru fushimi#midori takamine#what if we had nuis of each other and i made nui me kiss your nui.........#have barely been drawing lately outside of work burnout eating me alive for real 😔#the horrors and depression and dysphoria may be unrelenting but mf so am i!!!!!!!!!#ahhh im behind on comms too i am extremely sorry 🙇♂️ gonna try get on top of those as best as i can#hoping to at least get out of my rut in time for the es rarepair week too tho o9#survived fragrance on engstars w 2 naru copies 👍👍👍 girl help i dojt want to open the game for another month or so but alas. valk ss next#damn im rambling again. anyways aaaaaaaaaaaa i wanna drawi wanna draw
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The Brothers Karamazov
#spiralled trying out a new brush and kind of liked it#so I offer you this messy noodle brush tbk book cover thing#ignore that Dostoevsky would probably hate this if it were a theoretical cover#guess my tbk bias#it is so not obvious#yes I am alive but barely and appalling inactive#the brothers karamazov#tbk#pavel smerdyakov#mitya karamazov#ivan karamazov#alyosha karamazov#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor dostoyevsky#russian literature#classic lit#classic literature#ruslit#russian lit#illustrators on tumblr#illustration#books and literature#classic books#crime and punishment#my art
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Leo, what has been your favorite “to-the-death” activity thus far? I feel there has to be a workshop-to-the-death somewhere in that hotel.
LEO: I think maybe Magnus was right about talking about the past… I’m not sure I’m ready to do that yet, but thinking about it and doing things that remind me of my old life, it feels like progress. prev ask (also about activities!)
#was a lil liberal w this update to get the festus head in there hehe I hope nobody minds! Im just glad to be settled enough to be posting rn#leo my sweet homesick child... the next update will be even more brutal to you I'm so sorry#shoutout to yall trying to get him out doing things/in the workshop/meeting alex I think he needs a break from my angst#anyway not canon yet but halfborn probably learned ancient greek and ancient latin at some point and adores this graecus son of hephaestus#he will adopt valgrace over the course of this tbh#leo valdez#v²au#magnus chase and the gods of asgard#hotel valhalla#magnus chase#valgrace#leo valdez responds#art#I'm gonna try an update or two a week during this early part of the school year! we'll def have to see my schedule bc#I did NOT see this update taking 10 days (or more accurately... for me to barely be on my computer the last 10 days)#but I am alive settling down and still in love w this au! super behind on anything else pjo/wottg but alive and online!#halfborn gunderson#festus#<- these are more for blog archive organization but oh well... we'll see them more I swear!
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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in the backs of my eyes, light does not reach. black and white, monochrome stars, inky null and blinding full. others dream, and my thoughtlessness seeks. though i cannot see, and though i cannot breathe in every moment my eyes breach free- i dream. not for grandeur, not for fillment, i dream of nothing but hope. for days where i could, for the days i would dream. sitting in the back seat. squalid radio turned to rage. looking at her shoulder’s locks, dreaming of the cage. taken to my first bar, shown my first rave not forgotten, not forsaken, the only love i will take to my grave. cigarettes and mud, alleys and grunge all i wanted was saving. gone so far, seeded so deep, until it whittled into camaraderie. when the shows over, she’d take me home and leave me in her bed. that night i would be cherished, and that morning we'd be fed. i see their faces in my dreams, as every possibility, every tangle, every thread, every filament held together. like a bastion of memory, creating false to fill the empty. to grant hope to a greyscale null. * * starlight ash, the null of the void, the hopes of a begotten child. is there anything to hear, when the screams are of fear, or choking of brittle and tears? his hopes were so mild, his rage was unbridled, how could she be any different? feel her eyes shiver, feel her soul take, feel the ties of the poverished ingrate. your help cannot find it, your thoughts cannot find it, your hands cannot feel it, your heart cannot take it, your legs cannot shake it and your teeth cannot break it. in every part of you is her no matter how hard you fight it has been the end of her not of her blight. only of her light.
#im so tired. i want anyone to talk to or be with. ever. i miss being alive. i miss dreaming. i miss hoping. i miss having things to hope for#it doesnt have to be too late. so i try. but it always ends up feeling like it is. im so alone. so scared. i just need a way in. to life.#a way into a group. something other than this isolating pain.#this is the best way i could describe my feelings. esp since begging for attention doesnt work. but it isnt enough. i have so many dreams.#so many hopes i am forgetting every second. please. god i wish i could be normal and not have to beg or bare myself fully like this.#i honestly wish i could be more private but i need to beg. and idk how else to. im so desperate for any interaction god fuck i hate it here
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