#i am awash in durgestarion feelings

[subtlybrilliant]

The Dark Urge being trapped in the mindflayer pod 🤝 Astarion being entombed

[dr-demi-bee]

Day 18--------------------Read on AO3--------------------------

Pairing: Rujyr/Astarion Prompt: Begging Fluff/smut, Hurt/comfort, Act 3 durgestarion, bath time, NSFW

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"I'm alright..." Rujyr murmurs. "Just a nightmare."

His fingers pause their path gently stroking over her hair. Astarion leans back to get a better look at her, ruby eyes sparkling with concern.

"You're drenched in sweat, love. That wasn't 'just a nightmare'. I haven't seen you this worked up in months."

She curls into his embrace, clutching to him. His fingers continue tracing over her back and hair, the touch gentle and relaxing.

"Normally you can wake up and calm down after a moment. But you were really upset this time...Was something different?"

"It took longer to wake up," she answers softly. She tucks her face into the crook of his shoulder. Astarion gently cups the back of her head, holding her to him.

"It was worse than usual, wasn't it?" He lets the silence settle for a few moments before continuing, "You don't have to explain what happened if you don't want to, but I need to know you're okay right now."

"Yes," she confirms, "I'm okay."

The subtle shiver and faraway look in her eyes says all he really needs to know. More haunting nightmares. Almost always some gruesome part of her experience before the nautiloid. But he won’t press her to speak about it. He knows that hurts just as much.

So he merely nods softly, keeping her pressed close to him. Astarion rubs his hands up and down her back in a slow, gentle rhythm. "You're sure?"

"I promise," she reiterates. She pauses briefly, leaning back to peer up at him. Astarion meets her gaze, awash with concern. Rujyr knows he’s fixating on her dream - what he knows of the nightmares that plague her. That lingering fear she carries of the urges in her blood - of that sliver of space between life and death she hovered in under the cruel blade of a knife.

"I feel safe with you," Ru adds, meaning to comfort him.

There’s a catch in his breath, some words hitching in his throat. A surprise that melts into something more like guilt. That heavy shame he carries too often. Rujyr reaches for his hand, and the coil of her tail around his leg tightens.

"I'm glad, love, I just-" Astarion cuts himself off, shaking his head slightly. He reaches out to pull her back into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. A common tactic when he doesn’t want her to see just how he’s feeling. After a long moment, he says, "When I see you like that... I worry I’m not doing enough to help you. That you might just pretend you’re alright... even to me."

Rujyr pulls back to lock her gaze with his. She tugs him down by the neck so their foreheads press together. There’s no avoiding this.

"You do all I ask of you and so much more," she breathes, "I am alright because of you."

Astarion closes his eyes, letting out a sigh. He lifts a hand up to cup her face, his touch gentle as he speaks, "These nightmares are becoming more and more frequent. And every time your reaction is worse. I can't just..."

Astarion's shoulders slump, and he pulls her back into a tight hug, as if he's afraid that he might let go and she’ll vanish. That some darkness will take her and he’ll never get to hold her again. Rujyr returns the hug just as fiercely, wrapping her arms about his waist. She wants to soothe and reassure - but they frighten her just as much. And she doesn't know how to fix it.

"I wish I knew what to do," she murmurs softly. "But I know I need you."

He tightens his hold, burying his face into the crook of her neck. Astarion remains quiet for a long time, trying to put his words into some sort of order. His hands continue to slowly trace up and down her back as he searches for the right thing to say.

"I don't think I could bear to lose you." His voice is quiet, wavering with a hint of desperation. Eventually, he lifts his head up to look at her, his expression uncharacteristically vulnerable. "I'm afraid I'm going to."

Rujyr meets his gaze, concern and sadness reflecting back at him. She cups his face between her palms, always marveling at the way her pale blue fingers look against his soft white skin and especially the brilliant red of his eyes.

"I will never leave your side by choice," Rujyr answers, "And Ao himself would struggle to take me from you."

The tension in Astarion's shoulders relax slightly, his eyes closing for a moment. He places a hand over hers as she cups his face, leaning into the touch.

"I just... I need to keep you safe. To keep us safe. To keep this—" He gestures between the two of them "—safe. I can't —" Astarion stops as his voice falters. "I can't lose this, love. I can't lose you."

"Nor I you," she replies fervently. They share a tender moment, just holding gaze and breath, and soft touch. The silent reassurances of one another’s presence. The promise to stay.

Astarion leans back slightly, pulling her hands from his face to hold them gently in his own. After a beat his lips tip up with a soft smile. That somewhat reverent adoration he shows her effusing his visage once more. Rujyr’s lips tip up in return, sharing that same bone-deep affection for him.

His eyes trail over Rujyr, taking in the disheveled state of her. Her clothes are damp with sweat and tendrils of her hair stick to her forehead and cheeks. Her braid has segments with strands pulling free of their plaits, and that lovely ice blue of her skin is a shade paler than usual.

"You look a mess, love," he says, the hint of a smirk on his face.

Rujyr sticks out her tongue at him, the forked end protruding from between her sharp teeth. Astarion's smirk broadens.

"Feisty, are we?" He gives an exaggerated sigh, and says, "I suppose the least I can do for my poor, suffering love is bathe you."

"That's awfully charitable of you," she teases softly.

Astarion lets out an overdramatic scoff, pulling her closer to him before beginning the process of extracting himself from the mess of their blankets.

"Of course it is. I am a very charitable man. A testament to my generous character,” he preens dramatically with a flourish. "Come my dearest, a bath awaits."

He stands, pulling her up with him. He wraps an arm around her waist and tugs her close to his side. Rujyr laughs softly, twining her tail around his hips as Astarion guides her to the small washroom adjacent to their room in the Elfsong. He sits her down on a small stool by the tub before moving to fill the tub with warm water. It’s not long before steam rises and curls from within.

He looks over his shoulder at her with a usual cheeky smirk, and says, "Be a doll and undress for me, love."

Rujyr, already starting the process, just looks up at him with a half grin. Steady fingers unravel the layers of her clothing with meditative precision. She plucks the ties of her hakama, unwinds her sash, and tugs open the ties of her wrap top.

Shrugging his own attire, Astarion watches her as she undresses, his eyes taking in every new inch of soft blue skin revealed. He can't help but marvel at her, as he always does. Awed that he somehow has a partner as strong, kind, and beautiful as her.

"Come here, love."

She strides gracefully to his side, wearing nothing more than a soft smile. He can't help but let his eyes roam over her again, before gently grabbing her wrist, wrapping her arm around his neck, and lifting her off the ground. Astarion steps into the tub, slowly lowering the two of them into the warm water with an exaggerated sigh which she mirrors. The elf settles her between his legs and pulls her tight against his chest before sliding his hands down to rest gently on her hips.

"There you are, dearest. This better than laying in a sweaty bed?"

Rujyr leans back against his chest, resting her hands on his thighs. She lets out a long sigh of relief, delighting in the hot water on her skin easing aches and removing sweat.

"Much."

Astarion lets out a satisfied hum, before grabbing a cloth and bar of soap from a nearby ledge. He runs the cloth over her back, gently cleansing her skin. He takes his time, washing her gently, his touch firm but tender. His eyes occasionally wander over her back, her chest, her legs.

Rujyr makes soft contented hums as Astarion cares for her with dedicated attention. She gathers her long dark hair over her shoulder, unwinding the braid with her fingers.

Astarion pauses in his work when he sees her undoing her braid, a sly smile on his face. The way the water matts her hair and leaves her skin slick sends a rush of heat through him. A faint flush spreads on his cheeks, but he pushes onward.

He swaps the soap bar for a more delicate hair treatment and lathers his fingers. Astarion works the cleanser through her hair, pulling the ends up for a scrub before dunking them back under the water to rinse. Rujyr hums appreciatively, and he can see the way her tail sways beneath the surface with a tell-tale satisfaction.

With a tender smile, he begins massaging her scalp and gently tending to the roots of her long tresses. When she breaths a soft moan in reaction, Astarion’s grin widens. He can't resist the chance to truly touch her any longer.

Cool hands shift to run up her back before gently rubbing her shoulders. Astarion kneads into the thick muscles of her shoulders, the touch gentle but firm - a little more than a simple massage. Her head tips back slightly, her neck rolling as he works the muscles there. She lets out another soft, groaning sigh.

"There you are, love,” Astarion murmurs warmly,” Just relax and let me pamper you."

Astarion leans forward, his hands still working her shoulders blissfully. His lips move to the side of her neck, his kisses soft and gentle.

"You know, love, this gives me a rather interesting idea..." he murmurs, his voice decidedly sultry.

"What does?" Rujyr breathes.

"Your hair down. It’s such a rare but delicious sight. Makes me want to see how it looks... tangled in my grip."

One of his hands slides up her shoulder, and Astarion gently grabs a fistful of her hair. He twists the strands gently around his fingers, his grip just strong enough to hold.

Rujyr huffs a soft laugh, tipping her head back as he tugs, dipping most of her dark locks into the water. She grins up at him, her eyes half-lidded in her comfort. Astarion can't help but smile back, the sight of her laying against his chest, suds just barely hiding her from his eyes... there was something almost divine about it.

He pulls her hair gently, making her head tilt back further, baring more of her neck. Astarion's mouth moves to her throat, his teeth tracing a path down her soft skin.

"Mmm..." Ru tips her head to one side, further baring her throat to him.

Astarion continues to work his way down her throat, leaving a trail of kisses and blooming purple love-bites down her skin. His hand releases her hair to gently wrap around her throat. The tip of index and middle finger gently support her chin, holding her face away as he works. He squeezes lightly, feeling as she swallows against his touch.

Rujyr moans a soft sound, her hands squeezing gently against his thighs. Astarion's continues slowly massaging a path down her back with one hand. The other tightens slightly, gently gripping around her throat.

"You look glorious like this, love. Laying back against me, completely at my mercy, moaning at every touch..."

"Mm-" Ru murmurs, "You make me feel so good..."

"You deserve to feel good, love. After all you do for me and everyone else, you deserve to get some pampering in return.” Astarion’s kisses trail back up her neck before moving to the space beneath her ear. He gives her lobe a gentle nip, then whispers huskily in her ear, “I just get to take advantage of it a bit."

She hums a soft laugh through her nose. Peering up at him with a half-grin, she teases, "Not entirely altruistic, Star?"

"Now when have I ever been entirely altruistic, my sweet?” Astarion pulls her back against him, a cheeky smirk stretching across his face. “I never claimed I didn't enjoy having you here - bare and vulnerable and at my mercy.”

Astarion sighs softly, his hand massaging a tight spot on her back, before working it out with a firm press of his fingers. She leans forward slightly as his hands work lower down her spine.

“It would take a significantly better man than I to resist the sight of you. I just happen to know that you enjoy it as well."

"I certainly do," she agrees. in a satisfied croon Her nails tease gently up and down his thighs beneath the water.

"Careful, love,” he teases, ”We still have to get you rinsed and dry before I can take you back to bed.”

"Why- mm-” He coaxes a knot out of her back and Rujyr moans outright with relief. “...why wait?”

Astarion chuckles, taking pleasure at being the cause of those noises. He keeps his hands on her, slowly rinsing the soap from her skin and soothing tense muscles.

"Because, my impatient love, if I take you to bed without finishing up here first... I'll be having you against the wall before we can make it out of the washroom."

"Who says we have to get out of the tub?"

Astarion lets out a surprised laugh, his hands pausing. Then with a mischievous glimmer he purrs, "Well, when you put it like that... I suppose we don't."

He slides his hands down her body more deliberately, his touch trailing across her stomach and thighs. He nuzzles at her neck, planting kisses along her skin as his hands continue to roam.

Rujyr lifts one hand to slide over the back of his neck, tangling into the soft white hair at his nape. One of Astarion's hands smooths up along her thigh, moving closer and closer to her core, before stopping just short, his touch still barely avoiding where she wants it most. She leans further back against him as his fingers coax more soft sounds from her. His mouth is at her neck, his fangs gently grazing her soft skin.

"Look at you, love. Sitting naked in my lap, getting all worked up just from my hands on your skin. You look positively delectable."

"Always such a tease," Rujyr huffs softly. Astarion chuckles, his breath soft against your shoulder.

"You know me. I just want to hear you beg," he whispers lowly in her ear, pressing his face against her temple. "Besides, I want to take my time with you. I want to hear each beautiful sound you make before I let you reach your release."

"So greedy," she breathes. His fingers swipe ever closer, practically taunting her. Rujyr whines petulantly.

"I am quite greedy, love. For your love, for your time, for your body, your attention, your reactions." He nips gently at the soft skin of her ear, before biting down a bit more firmly on the lobe. "But you know I want to give you everything. I want to give you every bit of pleasure you can possibly feel. But you have to beg me for it."

"Star," she pleads softly, squirming slightly against him as his fingers dance around her core, never touching her directly. Her hips shift to chase his touch.

"That's a good start."

Astarion nips gently at the side of her neck, still avoiding where she wants him to touch. He moves his free hand up, gently grabbing a handful of her hair. He gives a soft tug, pulling her head back and making her look up at him once more. Rujyr groans at the pleasure-pain of the tug on her scalp.

"Come now, love, you can do better than that. Show me how much you want it. Beg for more."

"Please, my love," she answers breathlessly.

"That's it," he responds, his words a soft breath in her ear. "Beg for me, love, show me how much you want my touch. I want to hear you say how good it is, how good I make you feel."

His hand continues to tease her, the touch just short of what she needs. His teeth find her neck again, his bite more firm than before, leaving a mark on her soft blue skin. She whines, the water sloshing in the tub as she shifts restlessly against him.

"Please, Star," she repeats, "I want to feel you touch me. Please."

Astarion can't help but grin at the effect he's having on her. Bare and vulnerable, completely at his mercy, begging for his hands and he hasn't even really touched her yet.

"Very good, darling. I knew you had it in you." He pulls her even tighter against him. "That's better, that's what I want to hear."

His fingers slip between her legs, finally sliding over her slick core - her desire evident even amidst the heat of the bath. Her hips buck reflexively and she moans.

"There you go, love," he says, his words just beside her ear. "Give up control to me, and I promise I'll give you even more."

He runs his tongue slowly across the point of her ear. He runs his fingers across her sensitive flesh with more purpose this time, the touch more deliberate as he swirls his fingers just so. Pleasure sparks up her spine, the rhythm of her heart screaming alive, alive, alive!

"Just make those beautiful noises, and let me make you feel good."

"Ahh nngh- Star-"

"Beautiful, my love," he responds. "Let me make you feel good, Ru."

Astarion uses every bit of what he’s learned of her body. He rubs his fingers over her in just the right way, every movement intentional and measured, calculated to get her riled up without taking her over the edge. Astarion takes his time, wanting to wring every delicious reaction out of her. To make her beg.

"Keep saying my name,” he breathes the sultry whisper beside her ear, “I want to hear how much you're enjoying this."

"Mm- Star-" Ru pants, "More, please-"

"That's a good girl," he says, his voice heavy with lust. "Beg for it, love. Let me hear it, beg for more."

His touch grows just a bit firmer, a bit faster. All the while leaving little marks up and down her neck and jaw, claiming her as his.

Begging in return for her to stay.

Always.

Her breath stutters from her in sharp whines.

"Please, Star, please. You make me feel so good- I need it-"

"Look at you, begging to be touched, begging me to make you feel good," Astarion murmurs, "That's it love, show me how much you want it. Show me how much you need it."

Astarion continues to work, the touch becoming a little bit rougher as it goes on, his hand working her at the exact pace he knows she needs.

"You're all mine, love. You're mine, and I always want to make you feel good."

Rujyr moans, rocking against his hand in time with his touch. Her heart thunders his name.

She is his.

Always.

"Ah- Star-"

"There you are, my love. Say my name, show me how much you want me."

Astarion's breathing is also faster now, almost as turned on as she is just from his touch on her. Hearing those soft sounds, watching her writhe against him in the water, begging for more. He keeps up, his hand continuing to work her, his fingers making her whine.

"Are you close, love?"

"Yes, yes, please-"

"Good girl," Astarion says. "Beg to come for me, love."

He keeps his hand moving, swirling against her clit just bit faster, just a little more pressure just where she likes it. Astarion’s fingers bringing her closer and closer, until she's almost on the edge. Her muscles tense, her feet bracing and pushing against the edge of the tub as her tail lashes. Rujyr trembles with sharp breaths as he toys with her.

"I want to see you fall over the edge, I want to hear it when you lose control because of how good I made you feel.

"Please, Astarion," she mewls, "I want to come for you. Please!"

"Then do it, love," he whispers, his voice low and sultry. "Show me how much you love it. Show me who makes you feel like this."

Rujyr's just about to breathe another desperate plea when he adds just a touch more pressure with a smug smirk - and the tension in her snaps. Her back arches with a sharp cry of his name and she's trembling in his grasp.

"Look at you, my sweet Ru, shaking in my arms, trembling out of control thanks to how good I make you feel...” Astarion murmurs in her ear with a satisfied smirk. “You look absolutely glorious. Gods, you're beautiful when I get you like this, love."

As Rujyr grows limp, he gathers her in his arms and turns her to face him, pressing her against his body. She drapes her arms around his shoulders languidly, her chest huffing with rapid pants for the second time that night.

But like this - flushed that lovely soft purple and eyes daze - it is not frightening, but stunning. A sight that makes his heart swell.

"Gods, Star," Rujyr breathes softly. She looks positively stunning in his arms. Relaxed and breathless. And he was the one to get her this way.

"Look at you, so winded just from me touching you. All I did was give you a little pleasure, and now I think you'll have a hard time standing up."

Astarion runs his hand lazily down her back as he gives her a dark, sharp grin.

"Just wait until tomorrow,” he murmurs, “I'll have you begging me to bed you again by nightfall."

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