#i am aware i am only supposed to rec one but i got a little carried away as per usual

[sdktrs12]

🫂 a rare pair fic pls 🩵🩵🩵

Heya lovely! Thanks for sending 💕

rare pair fics -

Sure am using you by Aniara

rated e | one shot 1k+ | rare pair - rio/original female character

this is a fantastic smutty one shot that explores rio's character outside of the standard good girls setting, with a hint of brio insight.

Jack by fanzel12

rated e | one shot 2k+ | rare pair - beth boland/original female character

another fun and smutty one shot that pairs beth up with someone connected to rio's business.

june after dark by prettylittlementirosa

rated t | one shot 2k+ | rare pair - annie marks/nancy

this fic offers a truly fantastic exploration of the (growing) relationship between annie and nancy.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

Elementary, Chapter Four

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x teacher!reader

chapter rating: E (18+ ONLY, oral (fem rec), unprotected piv, dirty talk??, unedited/unbeta’d)

word count: 4.3k

series masterlist | joel masterlist

“Alright, everybody. Please remember to fill out your reading log during the break,” you talked over a room full of distracted tweens excited for the upcoming Spring Break. “Am I talking to air?”

“I hear you,” Sarah answered your question as she approached your desk, her backpack slung over her shoulder. “And I wanted to apologize for last Friday. I was having a bad day and Jessie was making a big deal about me leaving the sleepover—“

“Sarah, sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize,” you assured with a kind smile. “Have you talked to Jessie?”

“Yeah, dad took me over to her house on Sunday night and we talked it out. I guess she was offended by me leaving, but I explained to her that I just get anxious sometimes and can’t—“ She sighed. “It just feels better being at home with my dad. I don’t have to try to be funny or cool or whatever.”

You smiled at the tenderness of Joel and Sarah’s bond.

“But anyways,” she continued. “My dad wanted me to ask if you were busy tonight—he still hasn’t gotten a new cellphone which, if you’re wondering, is why he’s having me act as the messenger.”

“Isn’t he coming to pick you up today?”

“No, him and Uncle Tommy are in San Antonio meeting with a developer or something like that,” she informed. “My grandma is picking me up.”

“Oh, well, you can tell your dad I’m free like always,” you chuckled and tried not to think about the fact that as today’s parking lot attendee, you’d have to come face to face with the mother of the man you’d been casually seeing for three weeks now. “Oh, and tell him he needs to get a new phone so you don’t have to play messenger anymore.”

“Trust me, we’ll probably be waiting years until he finally breaks down and gets himself one.” The two of you shared a laugh.

“In that case—“ You jotted your landline and cellphone number on a post-it note. “Here.”

“Miss? My mom wanted me to let you know that I won’t be doing any of my reading logs this week,” another student approached your desk and very sassily delivered his news. You chuckled out a scoff and fixed your attention on him while Sarah went back to her desk.

“Okay, Michael, why won’t you be doing your reading logs?” You crossed your arms over your chest and waited for his response.

“Because it’s Spring Break,” he defended.

“Yes, I’m aware. That’s why I didn’t assign any homework. All you need to do is keep reading at least a chapter a day of your book—“

“I don’t want to read my book. That’s basically homework.”

You gave him an incredulous look as you tried to gather what little patience remained in you after a long year of teaching fifth graders.

“No, Michael. Homework is what Mrs. Hill gave her students—a packet a day. What I’m asking if you is to do what you’re already supposed to be doing—reading a chapter a day of whatever book you want. That’s not homework, that’s just an activity.”

“Well, I’m not doing it.” He remained firm, mimicking your stance by crossing his arms over his chest.

The bell ringing interrupted whatever onslaught of frustration you were just about to bestow upon him, his smug smirk boiling your blood as he turned and shuffled out of class.

“Have a good break,” you called out to the rest of your students as they shuffled out of the classroom in a single file line.

“Hey,” Joel sighed out his greeting as he entered his mother and father’s ranch home on the outskirts of Austin. Sarah was sat in the living room on the floral loveseat covered in plastic while her grandfather, Paul, sat in his rocking chair fast asleep.

“How did it go?” Sarah offered him a smile as he rounded the corner of the loveseat to plop down beside her.

“Went alright,” he replied. “Got a good chunk of jobs lined up for me and the guys, so we’ll be good on work ‘til the end of the year.”

“That’s good!” She beamed, bringing a hesitant smile to her father’s face. Joel never liked to celebrate his successes—something he likely learned from his father. “Oh,” she tapped his arm as she remembered your conversation from earlier, quickly informing him about your lack of plans for tonight. “She also gave me her number to give to you.”

Joel watched as Sarah fished the note out of her pocket before handing over the crumpled up piece of paper.

“You think she’s home yet?” Joel checked his watch.

“Dunno,” she shrugged. “But grandma was talking about all of us going out for dinner tonight.”

“Oh, was she?” Joel looked disappointed by the sudden emergence of plans when he spent all day hoping that tonight would be spent just with you.

“Joel?” Mary, Joel’s mother, came walking down the stairs with a smile. “Bout time you came to see us.”

“I’m busy with the new company, ma, you know that,” he argued as he stood up to greet her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Busy with the company or with your new lady friend?” she teased with a grin. Joel whipped his eyes over to his daughter who already held her hands up in defense.

“My bad.”

Joel chuckled out a scoff before turning back to his mother. “It’s new.”

“And? That’s all you gotta say about her?”

“To you. For now.” Joel followed her into the kitchen, Sarah trailing shortly behind.

“What do you think I’m gonna do? Hunt her down and force her to look at your baby book?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he retorted with a mischievous smile.

“Joel Miller, I swear if you do not give me at least a summary of this woman—“

“Alright, alright,” Joel sighed and looked to Sarah who was beaming with amusement. “She’s Sarah’s teacher. We met at a parent/teacher conference. She’s…nice.”

“Nice?” Both women repeated the descriptor as if it was an insult.

“Dad, you’re basically in love. I’m sure you can find a better word than nice,” Sarah reasoned.

“She is nice. Everything else is private,” he argued.

“Well, I guess we’ll find out at dinner tonight,” his mother shrugged with a smirk. Joel turned wild in the eyes and shook his head.

“No, no, no. She ain’t—y’all aren’t—no.”

Sarah laughed at her dad’s fluster and looped her arm around his waist hug him. “It’ll be okay, pops. Just breathe.”

“Oh, to hell with that,” Joel shook his head again, turning to his mother. “I haven’t even taken her out for a real dinner yet, ma. I’m not invitin’ her out to deal with y’all.”

“Deal with? Son, we are as civilized as anybody else—“

“Ma, you got a plunger? I clogged the damn toilet!” Tommy shouted from upstairs and Joel gestured in his direction as though to prove his point.

“Well not here. We’re in the comfort of our own home,” she defended as she made her way out of the kitchen to help her son. “She’s comin’ tonight! Better go on and call her up.”

“Christ,” he sighed and stomped over to the landline, his scowl fixed on Sarah as he dialed the number. “If she never speaks to us again, it’s on you.”

“She’ll love us.”

Although it wasn’t what you were expecting for the night, Joel’s call to invite you out to dinner with his family was impossible to decline just due to how much you missed him. Even if you turned into a ball of nerves every time you had to meet “the parents”, it was worth it just to be in the same room with him, especially after the day you had.

At seven, Joel, Sarah, and Tommy came to pick you up, but for once it was you running late. You invited them inside to wait while you finished getting ready, handing Sarah the TV remote and watching as her and Tommy instantly started bickering over what to watch while Joel followed you into your bedroom.

“How is this the first time I’ve ever been in your room?” He found a seat on the foot of your bed while you sat at your vanity, finishing up on taming your hair.

“Because I’m old fashioned,” you turned back to give him a wink. “But also because I can’t seem to get you alone long enough to give you a proper tour.”

“I know,” he sighed and walked over to you, standing behind you. He leaned down to kiss your cheek, the warmth and softness of his lips curing something that had been aching inside of you since the last time he kissed you. “I made a deal with my mom. She watches Sarah this weekend, and I suck it up and allow you to meet my chaotic family.”

“Mm, so I get you all weekend is what you’re saying?” You smirked at him through the mirror.

“All. Damn. Weekend.” He kissed your neck as a promise, your eyes fluttering closed as you relished in his proximity. “No interruptions. Just me and you.”

“S-sounds good,” you stuttered through your haze of lust and Joel smiled against your skin, seemingly amused by his effect on you.

“You got chills,” he rasped, his fingertips trailing up and down your arm. “That all me?”

“Just wait until you see what else you do to me,” you purred back, earning a groan of desperation.

“You two done yet?” Tommy called out from the living room. “We got places to be.”

���Save that thought for after dinner,” Joel mumbled against your cheek as he gave you one more kiss.

Five or so minutes later and you were on your way to the restaurant, nerves now replacing the butterflies you felt in your stomach as you thought about what his parents would be like. If they were anything like Tommy, Sarah, and Joel, you had nothing to worry about, but it was the uncertainty that drove you mad.

“You alright?” Joel stayed back with you as you pretended to have forgotten something in the truck, Tommy and Sarah heading into the restaurant to meet up with Joel’s parents.

“Just nervous,” you shrugged with a soft smile. “Anything I should avoid bringing up?”

“Politics. My dad’s a big Republican, so,” he winced. “But my mom is about as liberal as they come, so at least there’s that.”

“So I should stick to talking to your mom, then,” you joked.

“Come on,” he nudged his head towards the restaurant and laced his fingers with yours. “I’ll be right there next to ya, and as soon as we’re done with dinner it’ll be just us all weekend.”

You took a deep breath of courage and gave him a cheeky but bashful smile, bringing a similar one to his own face.

“God, I just can’t help myself—“ Joel cupped your cheek and tilted your head up to meet him as he leaned in for a surprising kiss, your hand finding purchase on his wrist to ground yourself.

“Mm,” you hummed as you pulled away from him earlier than he would’ve liked. “Let’s not stall anymore. Don’t want your mom to think I’m a bad influence.”

“She knows me well enough to know I’m the bad influence, but alright,” he tugged you off towards the restaurant with your hand in his.

As the hostess guided you through the busy dining room, you leaned further into Joel. He didn’t seem to mind the clinginess, his hand letting go of yours so that he could slide an arm around your waist.

“There y’all are!” A stout woman you presumed to be Joel’s mother stood up from the table where the rest of the Millers were seated, a big, dimpled grin on her face that resembled Joel’s.

“Ma,” Joel introduced the two of you by name, his eyes fixed on you as you shook her hand and allowed her to seat you beside her rather than next to Joel like you’d hoped. You gave Joel a nervous look from across the table as he sat himself directly across from you beside his father.

“It is so nice to meet you, sweetheart,” Mary fixed her attention on you. “Joel’s been pretty tight lipped about ya, so why don’t you tell me a little about yourself.”

“Well,” you chuckled nervously, but Joel’s reassuring eyes from across the table helped calm the frenzy of anxiety coursing through your veins. “I’m a teacher, have been for a few years now but this is my second year in Austin.”

You found it surprisingly easy to talk to Mary, her warm smile and sense of humor similar to that of her children and granddaughter. You told her where you grew up, where you’d been before coming to Austin, about what you liked to do in your free time, but mostly you told her the story of how you and Joel came to be.

Across the table, his father continued to remain stern and silent, only mumbling to his boys or to Sarah every now and again to remind them to use their manners. He seemed like a tough egg to crack, and while you were up for the challenge eventually, earning his respect today seemed unlikely.

“Joel, you ever tell her about your singin’?” Tommy spoke up from down the table, his question bringing a blush to Joel’s face.

“Yeah, I mentioned it.” He looked over to you and cracked the most subtle of smirks, no doubt remembering what occurred shortly after.

“Well, you gonna sing for her?” Mary asked with mischief in her tone, bringing an amused smile to your face.

“Not here,” he sassed, tilting his head at her mockingly.

“Why not here?” You prodded with a smirk, your foot finding his calf beneath the table. Joel gave you a chuckle and shook his head. “Oh, come on. Please?”

“Ya know, I pride myself on my ability to not cave into peer pressure,” he retorted with a quirked eyebrow, daring you to challenge him. You bit your lip and looked down at your plate, too flustered by everything him to look him in the eyes—especially given the current company.

“So, Sarah, how are you likin’ the whole dad datin’ your teacher thing?” Tommy asked, and the question earned the attention of the entire table.

“I don’t mind it,” she shrugged. “Maybe I would if it was Mrs. Clarkson from last year.”

“God,” Joel shook his head at the mere idea. “That woman terrified me and I’m a grown man.”

“Oh,” Sarah called your name. “Did you tell dad about Michael?”

“Michael? Who’s…uh, who’s Michael?” Joel’s jealousy was as clear as day, bringing amused grins to almost everyone’s faces aside from the ever stoic Mr. Miller.

“Michael is my student,” you clarified and eased his concern. “A shitty student at that.”

“Oh yeah?” Tommy asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, he’s—well, I guess I probably shouldn’t be saying this around you, Sarah.”

“I promise I won’t talk about it,” she replied earnestly and you easily caved.

“He is just the absolute worst. And his parents are even shittier,” you lamented with a laugh. “Today he came up to me while Sarah and I were talking at the end of class, and flat out told me that he wasn’t going to be doing the reading log during the break because his mom said so.”

“Why doesn’t he just fake it like everybody else?” Tommy chimed in but quickly received an elbow from his niece.

“I don’t fake my reading logs,” she corrected.

“Yeah…right.” He gave her a sarcastic nod and turned back to you. “I’m just speaking from experience. I never did any of that shit and I turned out…well, I turned out decent.”

“Yeah. Maybe I am being too demanding,” you shrugged, turning back to your plate.

“No,” Joel was quick to interject. “Don’t listen to Tommy—he couldn’t even get into community college. You’re the one who went to school for six years to do this. You know what you’re doin’, that kid’s just a prick.”

You couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little bit as he stood up for you, his foot pressed to yours beneath the table acting as a sort of promise that he’d always be here to do this—to remind you of your worth.

“Thank you,” you mouthed just to him. “Anyways, it’s his loss—and yours too, Tommy. Reading is fun.”

Tommy mimicked your smile and chuckled. “I guess I’ll take your word for it.”

“Alright, don’t give your grandma a hard time,” Joel ordered Sarah as he hugged her goodbye in the driveway outside your house.

You watched the scene from the doorway, smiling at the way he swayed her and kissed the top of her head. If only all little girls could grow up with a father like Joel—not flawless, but as close to it as a man could get. There was no denying his love for her and vice versa, and the fact that you were being let into this beautiful family felt like nothing less than an honor.

“Alright, go on,” he ruffled the top of her hair with a playful grin. “I love ya, and I’ll see you Sunday night, alright?”

“Love you too,” she gave him one more hug before turning to you standing up the walkway. With a wave, she wished you goodbye as well, your smile widening at the gesture. “See you!”

“See ya, Sarah!”

Joel met you by the front door and watched Tommy and Sarah pull out of your driveway before he turned to you with an anticipatory grin.

“Well, just us now,” he husked, playfulness thick in his southern drawl.

“Whatever will we do?” you teased, hooking your fingers in his belt loops and tugging him closer.

Joel cradled your cheek and jaw with both hands as he leaned down to kiss you, both of you still wearing your grins through it. Walking you backwards into the house, you giggled into his mouth as you nearly stumbled over before he caught you.

“Clumsy,” he accused in a rasp.

“Your fault,” you countered and he laughed against you.

Joel’s hands traveled to your hips to keep you flush against him as he kicked the front door shut, your smiles fading as the kiss deepened into something so filthy even the humor of the almost-fall couldn’t penetrate it.

“God,” he groaned against your lips as he continued walking you through the living room to your bedroom. “I want you so bad, baby girl. Fuck.”

“Remember what we were talking about earlier?” you purred against his jaw as your kisses trailed down to his neck, Joel’s body pinning you against your open bedroom door. He hummed against you in confirmation and you smiled, taking one of his hands off your waist to guide it beneath the linen of your dress, his breath ragged as his fingertip grazed over your thighs until they reached the soaked lace of your panties. “This is what you do to me, Joel.”

“Jesus fuckin—baby, I need you,” he whimpered and sunk to the floor in front of you, his dark and dreamy eyes peering up at you for permission as he lifted the hem of your dress up. “Can I taste you?”

“God, you never have to ask,” you moaned back, taking the fabric bunched in his hands and holding it for him. Joel’s eyes dropped from yours down to the image right in front of him, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip at the sight of your white lace thong.

“You’re gonna make me lose my mind, baby,” he groaned again, his hands now running up and down the outside of your thighs.

The anticipation could have killed you, your chest heaving and skin prickling with chills from the simple sensation of his breath fanning over the wet spot on your panties, the lust in his eyes. Combing your fingers through his hair, you attempted to silently urge him on and he seemed to pick up on it, his hands sliding back up to your hips to hook into the tiny band of your underwear and slip them down your legs until they were kicked off.

“Baby,” he cooed as you draped one of your knees over his broad shoulders to open yourself up to him, his mouth watering at the sight. “I’m never gonna wanna do anythin’ else but stay right—“ He placed a kiss to your mound and your entire body jerked. “Here.”

His tongue swiped through your folds and you melted against the door behind you, your fingers gripping his hair now as you struggled to stay upright. Joel practically growled at your taste, his hands gripping your thighs as if he was holding on for dear life.

“Fuck,” you moaned as he tensed his tongue to circle your swollen bud until your arousal started to drip down your thighs. “That’s so good.”

Your praise earned you another growl, his tongue now flicking and circling, lapping and sucking against you until your thighs were shaking from the pressure building in your lower stomach.

“Tastes so fuckin’ sweet, baby girl.” He sucked your clit and made you cry out his name. “Yeah, just like that. Keep sayin’ my name, baby. Let everyone know.”

“Joel, fuck!” Your orgasm was imminent, the tingling in your thighs that traveled down to your toes and back up your spine fogging any sense of coherency you may have once had in his presence. “I—fuck, I—“

“I know, baby. Can taste it.” He shook his head and flattened his tongue against your clit, his eyes meeting with yours. You wanted to cry, but the pleasure you were feeling was too consuming. The only thing you could do as Joel sucked your now throbbing bud into his mouth was to cry out his name like a prayer—some sort of wicked salvation that beat out any other holier counterpart. “Come on, baby. Cum on my tongue. Wanna taste it…every fuckin’ drop—“

“Fuck!” You crumpled to the ground, your back sliding against the door until you were kneeling with him on the floor, your body shuddering as you rode out the waves of your euphoria.

Joel was quick to act, guiding you down onto your back while you were still lost in bliss. He kissed your face as if you were his most prized possession, his hands worshipping the curves of your still-clothed body.

“Need you, baby,” he whispered against your jaw as he placed a love bite there, your head nodding to give him consent to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to you after that mind blowing climax he just gave you.

You only heard the clinking of his belt buckle before feeling his cock stretch you open, a choked cry slipping from your lips in time with Joel’s wanton groan. You peeled your eyes open and looked down at the place you were joined, delighting in the fact that neither of you were undressed, the neediness of the moment turning you both feral.

“God damn,” he groaned and let his head hang as he stilled himself deep inside of you after only a few thrusts. “About to embarrass myself. You feel too fuckin’ good, baby.”

“Don’t worry about lasting long,” you stroked his beard. “I just wanna feel you.”

“God, I—” He choked on his words and leaned over your body, propping himself up by his elbows on either side of your head. You wrapped your legs around his waist and dug your heels into his jean-clad ass to urge him on, desperate to feel him spill inside of you.

“Want you to cum for me,” you moaned, pressing kisses into the side of his face as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. “Cum inside me—“

“Fuck,” he shouted as his cock thrust into you faster and deeper, your wetness squelching around him and filling the room along with both of your ragged moans. “I’m gonna—fuck, baby. You sure?”

“I’m on birth control, it’s okay,” you promised. Joel lifted his head to look into your eyes, his face scrunched up in something akin to agony but you were sure it couldn’t have been further from it.

“Gonna fill you up, beautiful,” he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. “Gonna have you dripping for me.”

“Yes!” His cock was hitting something inside of you that was making you see stars, your mind going back to that pleasure-dumb state you’d just been lost in, and before you had time to warn him, your walls fluttered in time with his cock spilling inside of you. “I’m coming, Joel, fuck!”

“Me too, baby,” he choked out through a string of profanity and moans. “Fuck, so fuckin’—you’re perfect.”

The two of you stayed there for a while, both of you turned into puddles of post-climactic bliss as you laid in each other’s arms. Joel hissed as he pulled out and rolled over onto the carpet beside you, both of you turning your heads to look at each other with wide, almost childlike grins.

“Be my girlfriend?” Joel choked out, nerves thick in his shaky voice. You laid there speechless for a moment, unsure of how to tell him that ever since you met him you’d been dreaming of the day those words would leave his lips. So, you kept it simple, a smile gracing your face as you reached over to hold his face.

“I would love to.”

[imagibunny]

do you have any favorite horror movies? in general i mean

GOD YOU HAVE ASKED THE WRONG PERSON

i'm. picky about horror i watch. quite possibly a bunch of it is cult classics, indie films, or just really obscure things i don't really think people have seen

for example, outside of like. the child's play movies and the latest scream movies, i don't particularly care for any horror mainstays like jason, freddy, leatherface, ect ect. they're just not interesting to me

HOWEVER

i have Varrying different favorites depending on catagory because i am a freak

favorite anthology;

trick r treat. this has been MY MOVIE since i saw it back when i was a kid. sam is my son boy allowed and i am one sidedly fighting his va for who has the most sam merch (don't ask me about the supposed sequel that's been announced for over a decade i hate the director)

runners up;

the v/h/s series and the abcs of death movies. v/h/s is fun and i LOVE the later instalments (especially 98 and 99) but the first 3 were kinda weak?? and god i hated the first ones wrap around story arc. abcs of death are honestly just really fun!! love seeing all the different ways people can interpret their word they got and can get silly with it (SHOUT OUT TO W FROM THE FIRST ONE AND P FROM THE SECOND I LOVE THE SILLY SHORTS SM)

favorite found footage:

paranaormal activity. i'm normal about it (is not) pa1 changed my brain chemistry idk what else you want me to tell u kjnKJD. i however am very insistant on watching it IN THE CORRECT ORDER, which means i more often then not have to watch it alone. don't ask me about "next of kin" i hate it it's bad it's worst then ghost dimension. pagd actually stayed on story and gave us closure and a finale!! nok just feels. like they said "oh pa is just about recording a demon obsessed with a woman" NO IT'S NOT YOU BOZOS I'M HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE TO WATCH THE MOVIES AGAIN

runners up;

quarentine. let it be known i AM AWARE this is a remake of rec, i just ended up seeing quarentine first and havent had the time to see the rec movies. i definately want to though, quarentine was a fun zombie movie

favorite mockumentary:

ABSOLUTE TIE BETWEEN SAVAGELAND AND THE RISE OF LESLIE VARNOM. savageland is just Really solid and i love the inclusion of the photos and the 3d map and everything OOOOO I LOVE IT!! behind the mask is a favorite for another reason and that is leslie varnom my little freak. i know he's a serial killer but he's so SILLY! i'm putting him in a bug cage to study him as we speak thank you. a bit upset they took away the found footage bit near the end but that ending has me holding out my wallet ready to fund a sequel movie <3

runner up;

the tunnel! it's only a runner up cause i just recently watched it, i know in my HEART if i had watched it longer ago it would've been a top favorite

favorite foreign horror:

i'm grabbing gonjiam haunted asylum LIKE A SQUEAKY TOY. it's basically a korean grave encounters but the difference here is that it's good /lh

runner up:

ONE MISSED CALL. i originally watched the eng remake with my dad but gave the original japanese version a go after finding out it exists and OOHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! /pos literally the only reason it's not my favorite is because my father (derogatory) set the ringtone from the movie as HIS ringtone. any time his phone went off he would look at us all worried like "that's not my ringtone..." my dad's a jackass

and because i'm on a roll legally i can say anything by eli roth fucking SUCKS. granted this man is a zionist so he fucking sucks in the moral department, not to mention his movie "green inferno" is his adaption of "cannibal halocaust" but like. his movies are just. so Mean, and for no good reason either. i dunno man i watched hostel too young so anything with his name attached gives me bad vibes

anyways i'm sorry for rambling you unleashed the autism curse urself good luck

[llycaons]

now that I'm home, a brief summary of the new (historical) fantasy books I AM interested in. there are still nonfiction (essays, social commentary, biology) that are on my list but THIS is more my jam. putting this under a readmore but 1. if you've read any of these I'd love to hear your (non-spoilery!) opinion of them, and 2. if you have any recs based on this list, feel free to reply or send me an ask!

The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang: if this book is bad I'm going to cry. it looks like it could be everything I've ever wanted. I love when lesbians are anti-authoritarian and I love wuxia settings. the rebel love interest has tattoos 😍

The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec: I haven't actually read much norse mythology-inspired stuff except that pjo spinoff that wasn't very good (and one set in 9th century greenland that was HORRIBLE) but this was suggested a few times and I think it looks very promising! it's always neat to see older women as protags and she's bisexual and maybe polyam as well, which I've only ever seen in baru cormorant and the broken earth iirc

The Forever Sea by Joshua Phillip Johnson: this doesn't look GREAT but I looovvee environmental fantasy so I'll give it a shot

The Night Tiger by Yangsze Choo: this one looks WILD

The Keeper of Night by Kylie Lee Baker: this one seems a little more YA than the others but the concept is pretty original so I'm curious to see what they do with it

Fireheart Tiger by Aliette de Bodard: the description made me cringe a bit but the idea is pretty cool and it seems like YA but it's marked at adult?

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water by Zen Cho: another wuxia-inspired book!!! please be good PLEASE be fucking good 😭

Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse: this one is sparing in the description but I have a sense it'll be VERY intense

The Emperor and the Endless Palace by Justinian Huang: I may struggle to keep focused on this one but I thought I'd check it out bc in theory it's interesting

The Black Tides of Heaven by Neon Yang: I didn't really understand the summary but it's hopefully good? I'l always check out a wuxia and I like a sibling dynamic

Deep as the Sky, Red as the Sea by Rita Chang-Eppig: PIRATES, BABY!!!!

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov, Katherine Tiernan O'Connor (Translator), Ellendea Proffer (Annotations/Afterword), Diana Lewis Burgin (Translator), Hans Fronius (Illustrator): *points* like from tumblr...in all seriousness I HAVE heard some really interesting things about this book and the relationship so I'm glad to add it to my list

The Winged Histories by Sofia Samatar: the first book of this series sounds really boring ngl but this one oohh 👀

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia: I heard high praise for this one so while it doesn't specifically appeal to me, I'll give it a shot

Sistersong by Lucy Holland: I like a sibling story!

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh: this one could touch me tenderly I feel. I like when love interests are nice. whenever I see those setups that are like 'oh he's got an OBNOXIOUS and HOT partner' I'm like well this projection isn't working for me bc I'd leave then. I don't want to be annoyed by someone I'm supposed to like. I am aware this is a big setup for CR arc of mdzs but the annoying guy is my actual younger brother and my dear dear friend wwx so he can do whatever he wants. and also lwj really does have a stick up his ass and wwx is acting significantly more normally all things considered. anyway. this gay tree man may touch my heart

books that are ALREADY on my list/I have read excerpts from already

The Mask of Mirrors by M.A. Carrick: this one is pretty YA but I enjoy the writing and the setting, and the plot is exciting. I look forward to reading more

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley: I think my mutual suggested this to me and I tried reading it but I found it really hard to read but I am going to try it again because it sounds so intruiging!

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty: I'm on the fence bc while I liked the city of brass, I thought this one was a bit weaker so idk if I'll keep reading. I like the concept tho

The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro: this one's strange and mysterious and I love the almost primordial atmosphere of england 1000 years ago...the ancient and massive landmarks around the elderly characters as they go about their relatively small lives. kind of frightening, kind of magical

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong: I haven't read any of this and it DOES look pretty YA but the setting sounds fun so why not

[imnotoverlyobsessive]

Author Rec

Okay, so I need to gush. I’ve already done it to poor @meetmyothersouls and @softhecreator and now I’m going to subject all of you to it as well.

For the first time in a very long while, I have not just a book rec, but an author rec: Kathryn Ann Kingsley. In the past week, I’ve read eight of her novels. No, you’re not misreading that. I have read eight of her novels in the past week. I told my bestie that I haven’t been this excited about discovering an author since I first read A Court of Thorns and Roses, which I got a fucking tattoo for, and that literally could not be more true. Lemme explain why.

So, for those of you who aren’t aware/don’t know me, I have a thing for guys that are, for all intents and purposes, shaped like twinks. I mean, I write about Timothée Chalamet, for fuck’s sake. That’s really the only shape of guy I find attractive, is skinny with a little bit of muscle. Tragically, finding romance novels about guys who are anything but huge muscular beefcakes is about as hard as swimming upriver when your legs and arms are all asleep. I wish I could read books with guys of other body types, but the beefcakes that are consistently portrayed in almost every romance novel are physically repulsive to me. I wish they weren’t, but here we are. Even guys that are just leanly muscular are so fucking hard to find. In any case, if you know anything about my reading tastes, be they fanfiction or otherwise, you know that I am the pickiest bitch there ever was.

So far, the guys I’ve read about in the novels (there have been four; one standalone, one longer series, and one set of two. I’ve also started on the fourth) have all been tall and skinny. I do mean tall, mind you; the guy in the most recent one was 6’5”. He also looks almost exactly like Timothée in every other respect (his height and eyes are really the only difference in their appearance). They’re a bit muscular, but there’s no passages about how insanely wide they are, how much space they take up (aside from their height, of course), their rippling muscles and whatnot. I have very few complaints about these books (the smut could be longer, I suppose; there’s always a reason that the couples portrayed are incapable of having children; the last series I read had some femdom stuff; both multiparters have contained anal which she included as the last smut in the series both times for whatever reason, but all of these things can be overlooked to a degree. The last on the list, I simply skipped lol). The writing is stellar, the smut is great, the plots are incredible, the guys are sexy, the characters are well-developed, and I’m shocked to say that there were plot twists that surprised me, and I’m very rarely surprised about plot twists.

Now, fair warning: these are fantasy books about characters that are either borderline evil or straight up evil falling in love. The guys are possessive and varying degrees of insane. Simon, the guy I described as looking so similar to Tim, is definitely the craziest of all. These are not books that are about healthy relationships. There may be scenes that make you uncomfortable. If any of them interest you and you’d like a full list of all the warnings I can think of, I’ll be happy to provide for the ones I’ve read (so far it’s just the Harrow Faire series, The Impossible Julian Strande duet thingy, and The Forgotten Phantom, which is standalone) and any I read in the future, which will most likely be everything she’s ever written. But yeah, these guys are not good people. You know that tumblr post that said “the best thing a fictional man can do is be insane and love his wife”? Yeah, that sums up all the male characters. They may not be nice guys, but they are most definitely wifeguys. If you are not someone who is able to read an unhealthy relationship and not get upset, take it to heart, or view it as ideal, do not read these books. They’re not for you. And that’s totally okay! But if you’ve ever looked at a villain and thought, “he’s insane. I wanna fuck him”, then these books are for you.

I cannot recommend this author highly enough. Seriously. If you’re into darker romance with skinny men, you have gotta check these out. Like I said, eight in the past week.

[wykart]

1 12 14 42

thanksss

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) Uhhhh. Oh no none of them are normal are they. I still think that I’m proudest of Sheer Poetry but it’s also batshit insane. My best work is definitely the stuff that lives in my brain and not the fallibility of actual words so rip. I suppose it’s got to be Sheer Poetry. The whole thing’s a dream sequence and it’s a mess of my Doctor Who hcs, but I liked it. I want to clean it up eventually too. For something more normal, maybe Atomic Fears or my recent post Power of the Doctor fic about Yaz hanging around with AI doc where I get to waffle on about AI. That last one’s more lighthearted and has more dialogue.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? AUs! I used to just write canon-compliant stuff bc I didn’t see the point if it wasn’t just, directly supplementing/supporting the source material. I am still not a fan of AUs that just chuck the characters that were shaped by their world and circumstances into a completely different world, at that point I’m like just make your own characters, but I have come to like canon-divergent AUs bc they’re a good way to explore the characters more fully. I’m not super aware of many tropes, mostly bc I don’t actually read much fanfic (sorry, I live in my own world).

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer? I only read anything that is written by a trusted friend or writer. Like, I need to know you have the right opinions about characters (read: my opinions) otherwise I can’t do it. Does this keep me from reading a lot of great fics, of course! I suppose I also take recs from said trusted friends/writers.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason? I have received many lovely comments on my fics over the years, like some really long, heartfelt responses that I really appreciate. But one that stood out to me was the one where someone said they had to stop reading my fic bc it was making them hate their favourite character too much (Tilda from Horizon). Like good. My mission was a success. (Little do they know, you can love a character not in spite of but because they are a terrible, terrible person).

[amalgamgooze]

feelin' undefined

When I look in the mirror, I sometimes struggle to define what I'm looking at.

I can't even tell you what hand I do stuff with.

Or--I suppose I can tell you which hands I use for what.

I'm not ambidextrous, but I'm not wholly left or right handed either.

...

For years I've just said I'm left-handed. That's what I use pencils, silverware, and tools with, after all. So it'd make sense to call myself left-handed then, right?

But then I've noticed that my left-handedness seems to be limited to those things.

For most sports, I use my right hand. I throw balls with my right hand as well as swinging bats and clubs right-handed. After all, that's the way I was taught.

I also play instruments right-handed. I've never really been interested in like, a left-handed guitar or anything like that. Violin also doesn't really have a left-handed option that I'm aware of.

...

When my volleyball team found out that I write and use tools left-handed, they were shocked. I'd been hitting right-handed for the past two years, since that's the way I was taught. I didn't really speak up because volleyball seemed like it fell into that "sports" category where I'd just naturally use my right hand anyway.

But my team seems to think otherwise. If I'd been hitting left-handed, I would've been a huge asset to our team, being the only left-handed hitter. That's apparently a huge deal in volleyball.

...

My parents like to claim that the only reason I write and use tools left-handed is because I was one heck of a contrarian when I was younger. I've got my own trepidations on that theory, but I mean, what good are my own thoughts on the topic if I can't even tell what hand I'm supposed to be using when?

Maybe I was right-handed all along. Maybe I was always supposed to be writing and using scissors with my right hand, and that's why my hasty handwriting is messy--since I'm using my left hand.

Or maybe I was always left-handed. Maybe I could've done so much better in rec baseball and golf if I'd been using left-handed gear. Though, I'm not sure I would've even had access to left-handed gear. I don't even know what the purpose of left-handed gear would be.

And that's why I can't even find solace in knowing what handedness I am.

Maybe it's the fault of the delusions of someone else that I've foolishly accepted. Which, that's totally my fault. Maybe I should've advocated for left-handed gear for myself?

But, come on! It's all so absurd at this point anyway--I seem to be doing fine with right-handed gear even though I write left-handed! In fact, I'd bet it'd be harder to switch back to using left-handed gear because I've been trained with right-handed stuff!

...

Again, my volleyball teammates are baffled by it--though likely not to the extent that I am. They know very little of the full story beside "I was taught to play baseball right-handed even though I write left-handed".

...was I supposed to play baseball left-handed? Or does it just come down to a matter of preference?

I'm just confused. I can't believe I've reached a point where my ambiguous handedness would spur something of an identity crisis.

It's a very weird time for me right now.

...

And I also only realized today that I've got three school days left this year.

I didn't realize it was so few already.

...

I've just kind of been in a haze for the past few weeks, I suppose.

...

It'll resolve itself soon, I hope. There's not much else I can do about it other than to keep pushing on.

[moku-youbi]

Okay Hannigram and Spideypool fam, who will allow me to tempt them over to Klive in The Umbrella Academy fandom? We are way too small, and in need of fresh blood. Let me whisper in your ear about why it's awesome! Just look at this grouchy old murderbaby and his pansexual gnc disaster brother???

One's a 58 year old time travelling assassin stuck in his 13 year old body, the other's an immortal conduit to the other side and occasional accidental and reluctant cult leader!

Let's talk about the fact that as soon as Five reappeared after having been missing for 15 years, he takes a break in the middle of his Very Important 'The Apocalypse is Coming' lecture for this exchange: (and how I adore the rest of their siblings being, "wait, can we go back to the whole the apocalypse is happening in a week thing, pls")

Both have some serious PTSD -- Five from being trapped alone in the apocalypse for 45 years then being forced to be an assassin traveling through time killing innocent people. Klaus for a whole boat load of spoilery reasons, but lets say having ghosties haunting him his entire life is a good starting point, and then accidentally serving in Vietnam and losing his first love in the process is a good starting point, but really only the tip of the iceburg...But that's okay, they deal with it in totally healthy ways--by drinking to excess, doing lots of drugs, and never talking about their trauma!

But they get up to wacky hijinks, go on road trips, sing romantic duets, and occasionally open up to each other and have a totally adorable tendency to talk at the same time and reaching the same conclusions <3

Plus, look at these adorable babies!!! Prickly little Five letting baby Klaus hang all over him! Clearly they were crushing hard on each other as kids.

And now some recs! I haven't read a lot because I am working on a long fic, and I don't like being influenced by similar stories. However, there are some great ones I've come across!

Eta this first link was wrong, sorry 😔😔

Soft Sixties by sarkywoman - Lovely season 2 AU where Klaus and Five stick together when they time travel to the 60s, and end up a few years earlier than most of the rest of the gang (like Klaus in the show). It's sexy and sweet and domestic, with great characterisation.I really love Five's unwillingness to lose what he's got, no matter what lengths he has to go to, and how Klaus is all in with him. (I recommend all their stuff tbh, love how they write this ship!) An Unlikely Pair by Schattenmalerin - Pre-canon teenaged Klive. Sadly unfinished, but what's there is really, really great. They have a great dynamic, with precocious Klaus fully aware of what's going on between them, while genius but innocent Five is a little slower catching on. Takes place when their relationship is starting to go from the innocent puppy love stage to the burgeoning awareness of their sexual attraction to one another. I really wish there was more of this *le sigh*

Easy and impossible by Softestsweetestlove - Super sexy and hot season 3 fic with bed sharing and dirty talk. Make sure to read the follow up, as well as all the rest of their stuff. I simply adore how they write these two, with Klaus desperately horny for Five, and Five feeling safe and comfortable with Klaus.

And the couple short fics I've written so far (both for kinktober, so you know, kinky porn):

In the Palm of Your Hands - Post season 3, siblings all living together, Klaus decides to start getting his tattoos done again and is left unable to use his hands for certain things...he and Five have been flirtatiously toeing the line in the next step of their relationship, and Five decides to cross on over and lend a hand. (Kinks - autoerotic asphyxiation, breathplay, body modification, masturbation-ish)

Need to Hear You Say - post season 3 curtain fic with lots of sex. Just wanted to write some fluffy, uncomplicated established relationship with exploring kinks. It was supposed to be short and sweet and got away from me... (Kinks -- all consensual -- dollification, somnophilia, drugged sex, agalmatophilia, slut-shaming, dirty talk, crossdressing but I mean Klaus is GNC anyway...)

[jake-kiszkas-smirk]

As You Wish

Jake Kiszka X Fem Reader

18+ only, minors DNI

Warnings-graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, oral (m/rec), edging, crying, overstimulation, bondage, cnc play if you squint, use of a safeword, light dirty talk, and I think thats it.

As usual this is not edited, sorry for any mistakes xoxoxo

You were walking around the corner when you paused, hearing a conversation you were sure you weren't supposed to be hearing. You were at a house warming party for your friends that just moved to town. You had lost track of Jake but heard his loud voice from the kitchen. If he was talking this loudly it told you he was either already drunk or at least headed towards that.

"Yeah, I want a motorcycle!"

"Yeah, I don't know how y/n would feel about that" Danny replied,

"Please, I have her wrapped around my finger and my dick. I always get what I want, when I want it." Jake boasted, slurring his words. You felt your brow rise as you processed what he said. He was a little more cocky than normal when he drank. You knew he didn't really mean it, but you'd see how cocky he was after you were finished with him. You walked into the room, pretending like you hadn't just heard everything you just did. "There she is! Where have you been beautiful?" He said, pulling you into him and placing a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

"Just socializing, what are you two talking about?" You asked,

"Oh just arguing over some music stuff" Danny said quickly,

"Right, music stuff" Jake said flashing you a dazed smile.

"Alright, well if you're ready to head out I am too" You said, pushing some hair from Jake's face.

"Eager to get me home are we?" Jake asked loudly, giving Danny a bragging wink when he thought you weren't looking. Danny just shook his head and laughed, fully aware you had seen Jake,

"Yup, can't wait" You replied sweetly. You said your goodbyes and headed out to the car. You hadn't drank anything, agreeing to be the DD for the night. Jake plopped into the passenger seat and you decided to start upping the seduction. You reached across him, giving him a searing kiss as your grabbed his seatbelt. He groaned into the kiss, he tasted like whiskey. You pulled away and buckled his seatbelt into place. His eyes followed you back to your seat as you buckled your own seatbelt and started the car.

"Hmm you really are eager to get me home aren't you bunny?" He reached over and rubbed his hand up your thigh,

"Oh, I am very excited to get you home baby" you said truthfully,

"Got some plans in that pretty head of yours don't you?" he questioned, moving his hand higher.

"Mhmm" Was your only reply as you backed down the driveway. He had no idea what was on your mind. With one hand on the wheel, and the other hand holding his to keep it from reaching what he wanted, you drove towards your shared house. The ride was mostly quiet but you noted Jake continuously shifting in his seat. He was antsy and probably had the idea that he was going to get fucked as soon as you both stepped foot through the door. Poor, sweet, naive man. You pulled into the garage and he followed you inside, hands on your hips trying to guide you to the bedroom as he shuffled his feet. You turned abruptly and put your hand on his chest, "Why don't you take a shower while I change into something prettier for you Jakey" you fluttered your lashes at him as you gently raked your nails over his exposed chest. You wanted him to sober up a bit, to remember this. He looked down at you with half lidded eyes and his tipsy little smile,

"Alright," He agreed, pulling you into a deep messy kiss, holding you plush against him. He started to walk you backwards to the shower with him. You wiggled away and laughed,

"Shower." You said as you pointed, "I'll be waiting when you get out"

"Ugh, fine." He complained before finally walking all the way into the bathroom and closing the door. You waited till you heard him step into the shower and then went to work getting ready. You put on some black lacey panties, they were very cheeky. You riffled through a drawer searching for the lacy bra that matched the panties. You secured that on and threw your hair up. You heard the water turn off and you hurried over to the side table, digging out your favorite set of handcuffs. You sat on the bed, closing your eyes and taking a moment to get in the right headspace. Jake was usually the more dominant one in the bedroom, but tonight it was going to be you. You relished the nights when you were in charge, and this was going to be fun. You heard a pleased hum and looked up to see Jake standing in the doorway with his towel hanging low on his hips. He spotted the handcuffs on the bed and raised a brow,

"Why don't you lose that towel handsome" you cooed to him, beckoning him towards the bed with your finger. A devilish grin spread on his face as he dropped it to the ground and climbed onto the bed. His hands traveled up your body as he laid you back against the mattress. His lips found your neck, kissing at it as he moved to pin your arms above your head. His cock was already hard and rubbing against your clit through your panties. Part of you wanted to just give in and let him fuck you right then and there, but then he'd never learn his lesson. His lips finally met yours and you could tell by his kisses that he had sobered up at least a little. You quickly flipped, now straddling him with his hands pinned above his head. He gave you a confused look,

"Oh, these are for you tonight." You said plainly as you started securing his wrists to the headboard.

"Is that so?" He questioned with a smirk, you nodded turning your attention back to his face,

"Remember our safe words?" you asked. You both had a pretty standard system: Green was keep going/you were fine, mercy meant slow down/check in, and red meant stop everything. He gave you another curious look, but there was a glimmer in his eye telling you he was excited to see what you had in store for him if you were asking him this.

"Of course I remember, you think I'm gonna need them?" He asked as you slowly started kissing down his body,

"We'll see." Was your only response.

"Alright bunny, do your worst." He said, his voice sinking back into that overly cocky tone.

"As you wish" your kisses made their way to his hip bones. You nipped at them and he squirmed away for a moment with a huff of a laugh, "Be still." You said, voice stern and demanding. His head perked up and looked at you in shock, his eyes wide,

"Oh fuck, I know that voice, what did I do?" He asked still straining his neck to look at you. You didn't answer, instead you turned and let a string of saliva fall from your mouth down to his cock. He groaned in response as his head fell back against the pillow. "Jesus that was hot, please touch me y/n" You obliged, taking him in your hand pumping him, a steady pace. You'd continue to let him think he was in charge for a little longer. The quickening rise and fall of his chest along with his little grunts told you he was getting close, you kept your pace knowing he would let you know,

"I'm close baby" He managed. You continued a moment longer and then stopped. "wha..why'd you stop" He asked in a whiny voice.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want to cum? I didn't hear you ask." you smirked up to him,

"fuck alright, I'll ask, I promise, just please touch me again baby, please," He was already desperate, bucking his hips up to try and meet your touch. There was precum dripping from him and he looked impossibly hard,

"Look at your pretty cock Jakey, it's so hard...does it hurt?" You asked sweetly, gently running a knuckle up and down his shaft.

"Yes, I need you, I need to cum" His voice had become more strained but eager. You took him in your hand once again and let out a sigh of relief. You pumped him a few times in your hand before suddenly taking him into your mouth. He let out a moan and it was one of your favorite sounds. Jake wasn't afraid of being vocal in the bedroom, especially when he felt good. You worked at him with your mouth and hand, keeping a rhythm and doing everything you knew he liked, sending him hurtling back to that place you wanted him. You felt his legs tense, his moans getting closer and closer together,

"Can I cum? Please can I cum?" He said hurriedly, forcing the words out. You pulled off of him a pop,

"Nope" You replied, popping the "p" sound. He let out an exasperated groan and writhed around,

"I asked, you said I had to ask!" He said, now with a hint of annoyance in his voice,

"I didn't say I'd say yes." You tsked as you started to slide off your panties, moving to straddle his hips, "You think you always get what you want, when you want it?" His head snapped up and his eyes were once again wide,

"Thats what this is about? Baby I was drunk, I-" You cut him off by abruptly lowering yourself onto him. He moaned loudly as you lowered yourself to the hilt, "I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have-fuck" He choked out as you started riding him. You made a show of it, moving your hands to take off your bra so he could watch your chest as you bounced up and down. After already being edged twice you knew it wouldn't take him long before he was begging to cum again. You picked up the pace and put your hands on his chest to steady yourself. He was so worked up, face red and sweaty, his ragged breaths only encouraging you to keep going.

"Bunny you feel so good, can I please cum?" he pleaded. You loved wrecking him like this, loved when he begged you.

"No." You replied and kept your pace,

"Please!" He moaned loudly, back starting to arch off the bed.

"I said no." You barely got the words out and you felt his whole body tense, a strangled cry leaving his throat as you felt him twitching inside you. You paused your movements, looking down at him.

"I- I couldn't help it" he said quickly, eyes locked on you as he tried to catch his breath. "You- you feel so fucking good I-" You started your movements again and he sucked in a hiss through his teeth, yanking on the handcuffs in an attempt to still you,

"Y/n, y/n stop its too much" He squirmed under you,

"I told you not to cum, and you did anyways, so now you're going to sit there and take it until I'm pleased" You said the best you could with your movements. He tried his best to stay still and you could see tears forming in his eyes, his grunts had turned into whimpers and huffs of air,

"Mercy! Mercy!" He cried out, and you stopped your movements immediately. You let him catch his breath, gently running your hands up and down his stomach. Once his breathing had settled a little you spoke,

"Mercy, or red?" You asked sincerely, a little concerned for him at this point because he'd never used a safe word before.

"Mercy." He repeated, "I can take it, I want to make you cum, I just need a second."

"Jakey, it's fine-"

"I said I can take it" He said sharply, stubborn as ever. You gave him a few more moments, brushing some stray strands of hair out of his face. "Ok, I'm ready." Hesitantly you resumed your movements and he clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. You moved your hand to your clit, hurrying things up in an attempt to now be merciful. If you were honest you were just as desperate as him at this point. You rubbed your clit in quick circles, getting closer and closer to that finish line,

"Talk to me Jake"

"Cum for me bunny, all pretty and wet on my cock, please! I can't take it much longer" He sobbed out. The way his voice cracked and how pretty and fucked out he looked dragged you under as you felt the wave of your orgasm crash over you. You moaned loudly, throwing your head back as you rode out your climax. Once you had you looked back down at Jake who was trying to subtly wipe his tears on his arm, struggling seeing as he was still handcuffed to the bed. You gently lifted off of him and he sucked in a harsh breath. You straddled his waist, carefully releasing him from the handcuffs and leaning down to kiss away a single tear left on his cheek. His hands found your hips, as he looked up at you,

"Y/n you know I didn't mean what I said, I am so grateful for you and-"

"Shh" You caressed his face, "I know Jakey, it's ok" You assured him. He nodded pulling you down into another soft kiss. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, although I could use some cuddles," He said shyly. You climbed off of him, laying face to face for a moment as you admired him.

"Do you want me to rub your back?" You asked, knowing that he loved that and it really helped settle him down after a long night.

"would you?" He asked, his nose nuzzling against your own.

"Of course love" he placed a quick kiss to the tip of your nose and then flipped over to face away from you. You moved his hair out of the way and began rubbing his back until he fell asleep.

[noteguk]

hickeys | jjk | m | drabble

[ ! ] this is a “bad influence” drabble

— summary; Jungkook gets a bit jealous. Not that he’d ever admit it. 

— contents and warnings; pwp, smut, the endless adventures of badboy!jk x goodgirl!reader, enemies with benefits, jealousy/possessiveness!!, kind of angry sex (it’s one-sided, jk is going through a Moment), unprotected sex, marking (hickeys, mentions of bruises), dirty talk, overstimulation, creampie, mentions of oral (f rec) and of cum eating, jk has a big dick, the oc being clueless but overall having a good time 

— words; 2,2k 

— author’s note; this was supposed to be shorter but, well, that’s the story of my life. A few people asked for a bit of jealous!jk so here I am to deliver it 😌 Inspired by this ask I got. 

~ 

Jungkook hated the wintertime. He hated the fact that you no longer used skirts because of the cold weather, hated that you had to go away for a few weeks because of winter break and, above all, hated those stupid turtlenecks you wore. 

Not because you didn’t look good in them — in fact, he had grown to appreciate them over the weeks, the way they made your breasts pop out and how your body felt so comfortable and warm against his — but because it became extremely easy for you to cover up the hickeys he gave you. Which completely missed the point of even having hickeys in the first place. 

“Are you doing what I think you’re doing?” You asked him, fingers pulling slightly on the messy strings of his dark hair. Jungkook was hovering above you in bed, his mouth glued to the skin of your neck, sucking on the flesh. He simply moaned in response, hoping that the roll of his hips against yours would make you shut up. Which obviously didn’t happen. “You better not be doing it.” 

Jungkook pulled away from your skin with a pop!, watching the blossoming red that appeared close to your jaw. It would be hard to cover up that one. “And what if I am?” He smirked, placing a kiss against your lips. His cock was deep inside you, and it was incredibly difficult to argue with him when he was fucking you so well. Not that it would stop you from trying. “What are you going to do about it?” 

You playfully hit him on the shoulder, the frown on your face only making him smile wider. “You’re such a jerk, I’m going to spend all the concealer I have left with this one,” you complained, and Jungkook hummed and leaned back towards your neck, resuming his devilish ministrations. Only one hickey wouldn’t be enough, Jungkook realized, he wanted you to go out to buy more makeup for that. “What’s the deal with you today?” You tried again.

Jungkook’s irritated groan vibrated throughout your skin, his hands tightening around your hips as a flame of anger sparked inside his chest. His deal was that you had cancelled on him at least three times last week to go out with some stupid guy named Jimin from your Wednesday afternoon class. He knew that he shouldn’t care about it — you two were obviously not exclusive, barely even a thing, and you didn’t seem to give a single fuck when he told you about one of the girls that he was going out with. And yet there he was: pissed off out of his mind because someone else might have interest in you, fucking you hard into the mattress because he wanted you to remember that no one could be as good as he was. 

There was also a second layer of indignation when it came to that subject: Jungkook was frustrated with himself because he was balls deep inside your pussy and he couldn’t even focus on it without thinking about your stupid date. It was the fourth week of the semester, he hadn’t seen you for the entirety of winter break, and it was the first time that he was fucking you in your bed (since your roommate was out in some idiotic spiritual retreat). He could actually have you for as long as he wanted, as loud as he wanted, not a single worry about being interrupted. And how was he using that time? Being jealous of a guy he barely even knew, just because he took you out for coffee or whatever. 

It really wasn’t his best moment.  

“Jungkook, that’s so good,” you cried out, sucking him out of his thoughts. Jungkook grunted at the desperate tone of your voice, his name sounding so perfect coming from your mouth, and he just wanted to hear more of it. His cock was slipping in and out of you with ease, your wetness dripping down his length, and he forced himself to pay attention to you for the rest of the night. “I’m getting close.” 

“Yeah?” Jungkook groaned and pressed his forehead against yours — he could tell that already from the way you were tightening so perfectly around him, hugging his cock like you were meant to take it. “You like when I fuck your pussy like this, baby?” 

“Y-Yeah, I love it.” You closed your eyes, back arching off the bed as he continued to drill his fat cock in and out of you. No matter how many times he gave it to you, you couldn’t get used to the incredible pressure of his girth against your walls, filling you up so perfectly. “Feels so good…” 

“Is this all for me baby?” Jungkook finished his sentence with a particularly hard slam of his hips against yours — you didn’t even need to ask him to fuck you rougher, he already knew that was what you wanted. His eyes were a deep dark storm, glued to your parted lips as you moaned out for him, your perfect little cunt pulsating around him. Jungkook could only think about how wonderful you felt, how he couldn’t find someone better even if he tried. “Is this pussy mine? Was it made for me?”

Jungkook was fucking you so well that you could not help but nod, a pathetic whimper tearing itself from your throat as your hands fumbled to hold onto the nape of his neck. Your nails scratched his skin, the sensation making him groan. 

“Yeah, it’s yours.” You said it because you knew that it was all pretend, all his weird possessiveness that he only showed when he was hitting that deep inside you. Jungkook also knew that it was bullshit — but he allowed himself to dive into that fantasy as he felt himself throb inside you. “Fuck, Jungkook, I’m really close.” 

But he didn’t relent. Jungkook shoved his head on the curve of your neck, grunting as he quickened his pace in and out of you. He could feel your thighs trembling, your pussy fluttering around him, and yet it didn’t feel like it was enough. “Say it again,” he roared, hands digging to the flesh of your hips. It would leave a mark, both of you were aware of that, and yet there was a shared sense of wonder when you saw the purple bruises that he would leave behind. “Say that it’s mine.” 

“This pussy is yours, Jungkook,” you whined, head pressed hard against the soft pillows. At that point, you’d say and do anything he asked you to. “O-Only yours.” 

“Good girl,” he praised, his voice hoarse and deep as sin. Jungkook was drilling into you like a madman, hoping that the ache between your legs would be enough to remind you of him, of what he could do to you. He wanted you to keep that in the back of your head next time you had to pick between him and some other dude who wouldn’t know how to treat you. “All mine, this is all mine. Made for me.” 

He quickly got lost in his own praises, mind whitening out at the pleasure that monopolized his body. When you came around him, just as perfectly as you had many times before, Jungkook felt a wave of pride washing over him. It pierced its sharp teeth in his flesh, sucked him out of his worries — suddenly he didn’t give a shit about Jimin from your Wednesday class, because he knew that no amount of stupid coffee dates would ever equate to the way he had you. It was just a matter of time before you realized that as well. 

He felt you shivering beneath him, the way you always did when your pleasure was starting to become a bit too much. Jungkook leaned back so he could see your face, that blushy mess that got him sinking deeper inside you, the thin veil of tears that swam over your unfocused eyes. He would bet real money that Jimin from Wednesday class wouldn’t get you like that in a million years. Not that he was jealous or anything. It was just a fact. 

“J-Jungkook, that’s too much,” you whined. 

And he knew that it was, but he also wanted you to feel it all, and wanted you to cum around him as many times as you could. After all, you finally had some alone time, so he was definitely going to make good use of it. 

“Take it for me, baby,” he asked breathlessly, the rising pitch of his voice signaling that he was close too. Jungkook could feel his own orgasm growing closer, building up at the base of his spine and tugging at his balls, threatening to overflow. “Because I’m not done with you yet.” 

You bit your lip, fighting against a sob as he continued his frantic movements. You wanted to be good for him, wanted to fight through that sensitivity for him. But sometimes it was hard to focus, and the space between the pain and the pleasure could be a bit too long sometimes. “A-Are you close?” You asked. 

“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter,” he spat. Jungkook’s eyes zeroed in on your own, watching as a coat of desperation painted your features. “What’s the matter, baby? You don’t wanna get eaten out after I’m done here?” 

“God, Jungkook,” you said. If you weren’t so lost in the afterglow of your orgasm, you’d probably argue with him further, perhaps try and ask for the millionth time what had possessed him. But you seriously couldn’t be bothered with any more arguments and your brain wasn’t fully functional yet, so you settled for a quick and objective, “Are you trying to kill me?” 

Jungkook chuckled, lowering himself so he could place a kiss against your lips. “I'm trying to make you feel good. Let me eat my cum out of you, baby,” he teased, feeling as your walls pulsated around him at the idea. The fact that he hadn’t cum yet was a miracle on its own, because he had been about to tip over for a while now. “Unless you want to keep it inside you.” 

The interesting part was that Jungkook didn’t fully understand his second option until it had spilled from his lips. Now that it had been spoken out loud, manifested into the universe if you will, it made his cock throb with the mental imagery of you walking around stuffed with his cum, making other guys think they had a chance when you were already his. He’d seriously have to try that sometime. 

Before he could stop himself, his hooded eyes centralized on the hickeys he had embellished your neck with, and his marking was enough to make him spill himself inside you, painting your walls with waves of his warm cum. Jungkook called out what sounded like a broken version of your name, throwing his head back and listening to the wonderful whimpers you were producing for him. Just for him. 

At that point, both of you were considering buying your roommate something as a way to thank her for her wonderful idea of a spiritual retreat. 

Jungkook breathed out hard and removed his cock from your pussy, watching as the white liquid dripped between your glistening folds, accumulating on the sheets. If you weren’t so exhausted, you’d probably have yelled at him for ruining your mattress. 

“Have you made up your mind?” He asked, flickering his gaze up at you. You were such a pretty mess, and he lived for the fact that it was all because of him. “Wanna keep it in or want me to eat it out?” 

Honestly, he realized there was no wrong choice and, yet, he wanted to know what you would pick. 

You bit your lip and, after a moment of hesitation, you answered. “Eat it out,” you said. 

Jungkook smirked, lowering his head between your legs. “Good girl.” 

~ 

Jungkook saw you wearing a scarf the next day and he wanted to smack himself across the face for not considering that possibility. It hid all his efforts to mark you, didn’t make you nervous talking to other people. He could see from the faint coat of sweat on your face that you were feeling hot, but he also saw you smirking at him enough times to know that you were planning to endure that for as long as necessary. He was stupid to believe he’d actually get what he wanted for once: it had been too easy. 

He really fucking hated the wintertime. 

~ 

Check out the rest of the bad influence collection! 

Taglist: @youurkryptonite @taehyungieskith​ @fan-ati–c​ @btstrasht​ @crazy4myself​ @sashimi-mochi @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky

[strxnged]

Do you have any good hq blog recs

no 😤 BUT I do have some FANTASTIC recs!! this ended up as me yelling about my moots for about two hours but it's okay. I tried to include a fic rec with each person because they're all WOW. but it was so hard picking just one in many instances pls (in alphabetical order bc there are many)

@bokubonk - I LITERALLY BINGED A TON OF MAI'S STUFF AT ONE POINT BECAUSE I PHYSICALLY COULD NOT STOP . i have so many recommendations but i have to settle for "your name" with tanaka because h h hhhh she he him tanaka HE WOW CHARACTERIZATION

@/cafemiya - (I'M LITERALLY TOO INTIMIDATED BY HER TO ACTUALLY TAG HER LOL FDSJDKFLSKJ) i swear this WOMAN 😭😭😭 i am in love with her blog and her writing? there's really nothing to say except for WOW🌸 and please go read Romancing because it is one of my favourite fics on the planet &lt;3

@daddyjackfrost - WJOW HANA IS UNMATCHED WHEN IT COMES TO VIVID WRITING VNWENOIFN plus she is very funny and definitely someone i want to just, like, be stuck with for a few hours KJDLFSJLK okay it was hard to pick one but i really liked her claustrophobic s/o drabble and also um. this atsumu fic. but warning there is angst. like a lot of angst. hana defn be queen of angst tho

@fail-big - jenny is so interesting to talk to and her writing reflects what a deep thinker she is. the angst BURNS but it is so well written that it's addicting hhhhhh pls the iwaizumi trilogy "savior of stains" AND OMG fdskjLJLKSFD "goose" WAS ACTUALLY A MASTERPIECE I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW how am i supposed to only pick a few just go read them all guys wow

@floralkawa - okay first off the colours and aesthetic are VERY nice and your tsukishima fic "i love(d) you" brought me spain without the s I LOVE YOUR WRITING YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND LITERALLY THE SWEETEST okey &lt;3

@gummimint - LOVELY RAIN okay yet another insanely aesthetic blog and i am SO EXCITED TO READ "Made With Love" LIKE??!? PRINCE!KAGEYAMA >>>> I AM HERE FOR IT kdfSKJJKFLSD ily

@hajkyyuu - WHOWH AI they are MINDBLOWING i still think about the iwaizumi/ushijima hurt/comfort scenarios a lot ,,, they wrote them so well pls ;_;

@/iwaizoom - (i am yet again too intimidated to tag sdkjflak) jade was one of the first blogs i followed when i got tumblr and i have yet to unfollow her, so that has to say enough about how much i adore her. her fic only one was very nice and made me think a little too much about atsumu. ahhhh >,> (UM SHE JUST POSTED THIS TODAY BUT I'M . I KNOW I'M GOING TO READ THIS SEVERAL TIMES SO AHHH 11:53AM) **please be aware there is some nsfw content

@iwasumi - k if there's one person i have a crush on on this app it's vale SDJKLFKLSD ily and i also might have read 4am more than once because making out with iwaizumi >>>> also you're the funniest human being and it gives me life that you know how sexy u are AND YOUR ART DOn'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOUR ART

@kailleiobrien - MY WIFE MY WIFE SHE IS THE REASON I STARTED WRITING FANFICTION AND STILL DO WITHOUT HER IDK WHERE I WOULD BE PLS I <333 okay gonna link "everything is perfect" because everyone deserves a little tanaka fluff

@kei7ime - man chloe's blog's aesthetic >>> okay but top of the castle just. wow. her writing makes me want to cry because it's just NSNDFKKND like i admire her so much how does she </3 how <3

@kirishimas-manly-eyeliner - ellie writes for mha AND hq like another multifandom QUEEN ugh she has the cutest headcanons and i loved her hugs hcs with hinata, bo, + kenma like OW my heart but in a good way (ILY ELLIE YOU BRING ME SO MUCH JOY)

@kutokawa - (HI SORRY FOR TAGGING U ILY NFSDN) okay besides the fact that i am obsessed with how aesthetic her theme is - ALYSSA IS WONDERFUL AND SUCH A TALENTED WRITER AHHH (and Brew-tiful made me malFUNCTION like wow there's oikawa and then there's this oikawa) also koulyssa supremacy, yeah nuff said

@dearkousei - ISAAAAAAAA okay no bc her apocalypse!au with tanaka and even more importantly her comfort scenarios with an s/o with acne... i can't express how much i love her writing and how important it is that y'all go follow her. (edit: she moved accounts)

@lucyheartfilias-wife - MOMO <3 she writes for hq, bnha, AND ft like i admire the ability to be so present in 3 fandoms holy guac and of cOURSE I AM OBSESSED WITH "THE SETTER'S HELP" jklsdKJLFD in all momo's writing is just so vivid and full and wonderful to consume bABY <333 (bye i had to put akaashi's first kiss here too)

@nadisabug - <3 nadia is actually the sweetest human and . there is no fic that compares to her hurt/comfort with tanaka, Hey Stupid, ILY (yes i requested it BUT i was not disappointed yall i have reblogged it at least twice)

@nepenthendline - CHLOE <3 she is also incredibly hard working and definitely someone i look up to a lot like ahhh hfasdlkh she has so many adorable headcanons but of course i have to reccommend the tanaka relationship headcanons because i . might like tanaka a little or something. but there are sO many things. she has written so many things. AHHHHhh ** please be aware there is some nsfw content

@pxnk-velvet - ANGIE ANGIE ANGIE i love her blog the purple and her masterlists and the fanart header 😩😩 my fav has to be her comfort hcs with the karasuno 2nd years like i'm. i have never simped for ennoshita like that bro (AND OF COURSE TANAKA AS ALWAYS). ** please be aware there is some nsfw content

@tsumussweetheart - LEAFY 😩😩 one of the nicest people you'll ever meet and her blogs colours are to die for PLUS EVERY TIME I SEE FUTAKUCHI I THINK OF "Figure 8" I NEVER USED TO SIMP FOR HIM AND NOW -- AHHHH i want to hold his hand

@snoozless - elle is the epitome of the word "kind" like WHO IS SHE THO akdsKLJADS she is so talented at so many things INCLUDING ART AND WRITING GUAC GO READ "BEYOND WORDS" AND "OUT OF ORBIT" WITH AKAASHI THEY'RE BOTH WOW

@theuntamedmulti - NO BC SHE IS SUCH AN INTERESTING PERSON and she simps for aone AND kyoutani WOW she is a queen and. her ukai fic. her UKAI FIC. vivian i love you and please continue to shine &lt;3

that took awhile lol! but I admire every one of these writers so much so I hope you check some out! thank u for this ask hajsjsh sorry I answered sorta late

@ everyone on this list + everyone reading this:

[blouisparadise]

Upon request, here is a rec list of bottom Louis fics where Harry, Louis, or both Harry and Louis are single parents. This list includes both fics where one of the parents is not in the picture (at least for a period of time) and fics where the parents are both single even if they’re both present. If you enjoy this rec list, please like and reblog to spread the word. Happy reading!

1) All I Want For Christmas Is You (And Your Children) | Explicit | 11307 words

Harry finds himself at Tesco on December 24th for a quick grocery shopping with his daughter Leah.

He thought he’d come back home with a few things for dinner (and probably a few that Leah slipped through the cart without him noticing).

He absolutely did not think about the possibility of meeting a gorgeous single father of two children.

And inviting him to his Christmas Eve dinner at home.

2) For The Thrill Of Your Touch I Will Shamefully Lust | Explicit | 12873 words

“Harry, are you really making red velvet?” He breathed, excitement clear in his voice and written in his eyes. As if Harry making him something (after he asked about it) was something he had never expected to happen and Harry wondered for a second when he had given of the impression of not wanting to please Louis’ every wish.

“Of course I am, I had two tiny Tomlinson’s asking for it” he smiled, aware of the fact that Louis did not think of himself as short or anywhere near tiny. But in comparison to Harry, he was definitely a tiny one.

Louis huffed and moved a step away from him. They had been standing very close up until that moment, and Harry had not even noticed before the smaller was moving away.

“I am not tiny, Harold” he said, in a sharper voice, but Harry knew from the look on his face that Louis was far from mad about the comment.

3) What's Love Without Tragedy | Explicit | 17130 words

Louis is a widower with three kids. Harry is the babysitter. They fall in love.

4) Dear Santa | Explicit | 20518 words

"Dear Santa...I know you're very busy and you have lots of toys to make but I wondered if this year I could ask for something else. I changed my mind about the puppy and I'd like to ask if you can help me instead. "

Miss. Fields looks mildly bemused as Beau takes a breath.

"I used to have a really cool Doctor; possibly the coolest doctor ever and then he went away only he's back and he helped me feel better and I'd really, really like it if I could say hi to him again."

"Who was your doctor, Beau?" Her teacher asks.

"Dr. Styles," she replies with a sweet smile.

Miss. Fields glances over to Sam.

"He's just come back into town hasn’t he? I'm sure we can arrange for you to say hello..."

"My Daddy won't let me," she pouts, scratching a nail against her page a little.

She's decorated it with glitter in the colours of the rainbow.

"We can ask him if it’s alright," Miss. Fields suggests. “Perhaps he can come with us?”

"Oh, can we?" Beau beams, gasping.

Her teacher smiles and rests a gentle hand on her back.

"Think of something else you'd like to ask Santa for," she suggests.

5) Give So Much (Not Enough) | Explicit | 24610 words

A friends to lovers AU with tons of mama Louis and domesticity.

6) Yours To Lose | Explicit | 25742 words

Louis always gets distracted with his mummy duty and he eventually catches Harry's attention.

7) All The Lights are Full Of Colour | Explicit | 26727 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

So, fast-forwarding eight years from the day Harry met Louis, he is now a twenty-seven year old owner of one of the most up-and-coming eating establishments on the London restaurant scene, father of two wonderful boys and… separated from his husband. Now, that last part definitely was never a part of the original plan.

8) A Fallen Star That Shines No More | Explicit | 25926 words

Louis might have a problem.

Said problem lies entirely in the fact that he can't seem to avoid Harry Styles, The Ex-Boyfriend That Broke His Heart and World Famous Popstar Sensation. Everything is only made more complicated by the fact that he doesn't really want to avoid Harry either, even though they're supposed to mean nothing to each other.

Another tiny problem may also be that Harry has no idea that Louis has a daughter now.

Yeah, he's screwed.

9) Starlight's Crossing | Explicit | 30496 words

All it takes is one night for Harry and Louis' life to change forever. Fast-forward four years, and they embark on an adventure of a lifetime across the universe.

10) Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles | Explicit | 34329 words

Styles was a name everyone knew. It had evolved into something of a fairy tale, a far away problem that normal people didn’t have to deal with. Louis never thought he’d find himself falling in love with him. When he finds himself pregnant with Harry’s child, he knows he has to leave the life, and Harry, behind. For her sake.

He never expected Harry to show back up on his doorstep five years later.

A mob au.

11) Sedative Duty. | Explicit | 46588 words

Pop-star of the moment Louis Tomlinson is on his third-world tour. He decides to hire renowned professional dominant Harry Styles to unwind while on the road. In an effort not to raise suspicion by the crew, fans, and press,  Harry pretends to be his bodyguard. He ends up being far more than that.

12) So Much We Didn’t Say | Mature | 53584 words

Harry’s near fatal accident exposed the cracks in his and Louis’ eleven year marriage. A serious error in judgement by Louis shattered it completely.

13) The Bachelor | Explicit | 53953 words

"Don't tell me, you're Lola," Louis pointed at the little girl and she crowded her father's leg shyly, sticking her thumb in her mouth.

Harry chuckled lightly and cupped the back of her head with a large palm, his calloused hands catching the fine strands of her hair.

"She's shy," Harry told him. "Plus you swore mighty loud...M'Harry by the way," he stuck his free hand forward, his diction belying his way of life- slow and casual.

The somewhat dainty-looking loud-mouth flicked a look to his hand, then back to his face. Harry waited patiently for him to take it.

"Louis," he finally shared, clasping Harry's hand with his smaller one and giving it a gentle squeeze, placing his other over the top of both of theirs. "Tomlinson," he added. "I'm your personal assistant," he added.

14) All I Want | Mature | 289311 words

When Harry and Louis got together it wasn’t under the best circumstances. Louis was taken by another. But go figure that the way they ended up together is the very same way it ended. And Harry left Louis. He left him with a lot more than he thought. A story about how people’s misconceptions almost destroyed a love that went beyond measure.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[bluebuckstallion]

the sun will rise again - mlp fic p2

part one contents: aj and big mac are like. 13 and 15. big mac realizes she is a trans woman, and is guided by applejack, but there is much more to it than just that lol. its also a little hard for her. sappy, feel-good, tough internal conflict but overall happy fic. paragraph one is previewed here, the rest is below the cut! disclaimer: there is no transphobia in this fic lmao im not gonna write abt horse transphobia. this is a feel good. but cw for fear of outing (note: i am aware my blog makes posts a little hard to read bc of a glitch, i am trying to fix it at the moment, i apologize D: i rec reading it on tumblr mobile or highlighting the words as you read, im sorry!) paragraph one: The wind whispered lovingly, cooling little Big Mac and Applejack's drowsy heads. A time like this in a young pony's life can be very confusing, something the two of them had grown to be very familiar with. Applejack rested his backside against the trunk of one of his family's old apple trees, if they had no where else to take solace, at least they had the orchard and each other's company, he thought. It felt nice, having this little secret kept safe by somepony you knew would protect it, and who still cared about you just the same. "If nopony accepts us, at least we have each other. I don't care if it's just you and me, Big Mac, we'll be jus' fine." Applejack stated in a soft voice, breaking the silence. He was accepting of his circumstances, no matter how they turned out. As long as him and his sister ended up okay. And again, he was sure they would. Big Mac smiled and folded her hooves neatly, "Eeyup."

-

Applejack worked his fluffy hooves through Big Mac's mane, doing his absolute best to make the fine ginger hair into a braid. He wanted to do something nice for his sister, something to celebrate her bravery and courage in realizing - and telling - Applejack, and he wanted her to feel nice in her own body, even if she couldn't change much right now, or for a while. No matter how small the act, Big Mac was especially grateful. Nobody had ever treated her like this, on purpose at least, like she was a mare. And every chance Applejack could sieze he would do just that, remind her that was what, *who* she was. "So, Big Mac, what do you reckon I call you now?" With that her eyes widened, and her brows furrowed, it caught her off guard. "Like...my name? I didn't know I could change my name..." she let out, slightly confused, a tender hoof raising to her chin as she thought hard. "Yeah!" AJ beamed, not straying from his tedious work. Big Mac, still lying down, started shuffling her hooves again. "Well... I always thought if I were a girl my name would be something pretty, which I mean, I am a girl and all, but I don't feel very pretty ever," she admitted disheartened. "You're plenty pretty! You're an Apple! You wouldn't say Ma or Granny wasn't pretty, would you?" Applejack pointed out, gesturing absentmindedly in the air with his hooves, then promptly returning back to his work, being sure to keep a steady hoof. "Well... Nope." Big Mac blurted awkwardly, pursing her lips. "But-" she began. "No 'but's'!" Applejack interjected, "You're an Apple, and a dang pretty one!" Applejack closed his eyes and lifted his head proudly, putting his non-dominant hoof against his puffed chest, "Look at me, I'm an Apple and I'd say I'm awful handsome, just like Pa!" he said with an endearing foal-like passion and certainty. He chuckled, his cheeks growing slightly cherry as he let out a tiny chuckle, and got back to his work, about a quarter way down the locks. Big Mac grinned slightly, "I suppose," and tapped her hooves together shyly, playing with the grass falling between them. "You know, I always did think my mane was a little long for a stallion," she laughed playfully, diverting from the subject and trying to reassure herself. She went to touch her mane, and was swiftly batted away by Applejack's quick hoof, "Nuh-uh Big Mac, I'm workin' here. Don't go touchin' it now," he said sternly but still non-maliciously. He just wanted it to look perfect for his big sister, he wanted her to be proud, and feel as pretty as she could. Applejack wanted to know how it felt to look pretty, too, but in the way he'd always dreamed of. He wondered often if he'd ever get the blessing of such a wonderful feeling. "Applejack, do you ever wish you were born a colt?" Big mac asked genuinely, still a little unsure of what Applejack was feeling, but knowing there was solidarity in it somewhere, she just had to understand it a little more. "Well - not really," Applejack spat out, his eyes looking away from his busy hooves, and quickly darting back to them before he drifted off in fantasy. He thought about it for a second, and still felt strange. "I wasn't really born a filly or a colt... or anything, I think, I was just born me. And I wouldn't really have it any other way. Sure, I mean, maybe I'd like shorter hair or somethin', or a uh," he struggled to find the words in his young foal vocabulary, "maybe if my nose was a little more colt-ish I'd be happy. But I think I'm pretty happy with me now. I do hope when I'm older my voice is a little better, though. I can't really do much though," he sighed dismissively. He continued, "I don't ever really feel too bad about who I am... I think I just feel happy about who I am. When I see myself as not a colt and not a filly, just a foal, a pony, it makes me real happy-like. But, I don't get too sad unless people are real serious about calling me a filly. I do get sad sometimes though, when I look too much like a filly to other people..." As Applejack placed an orchard blossom in Big Mac's hair, tucked snug and safe behind her ear, a thought went through Big Mac's head. "Applejack!" she jumped up, the rush of movement startling him, who was so concentrated seconds prior. "Let's give you a haircut! It'll be like how you braided my hair for me, we can cut yours!" Applejack nervously rubbed his elbow, then raising his hoof lightly beneath his muzzle, and he began to sweat. "Well, I, what if Ma and Pa don't like it?" Big Mac thought hard as Applejack grimaced, "Well, we can hide it with one of Pa's hats, an' I'm sure they won't mind," she suggested happily. Applejack considered briefly, just for a moment, the downsides of it all. He then immediately turned them all away and smiled so hard his eyes shut, stomping his front hooves against the ground up and down, "Okay, let's do it Big Mac!" As they galloped back to the barn, Applejack had suddenly realized he was so surprised with how much Big Mac had been talking, she never seemed so excited to talk about anything, and he realized how much this all meant to her. It meant a lot to him, too. Especially that his sister was so supportive while still knowing so little, but in her defense, he didn't know much either. It was a very special feeling, he thought to himself, very pleased. They skidded to a halt clumsily as they reached the doors to the barn. Foal-ishly peeking through the front windows, they realized it was only Granny and baby Bloom home, their parents must be out. They looked at each other, grinning, and cantered to the back, sneaking inside through the back door. When they made it to the bathroom, Applejack noted Big Mac looked a little worn out, wearing a tired look on her face. She figured all this chattiness probably made her sister a little exhausted. He shot a reassuring patended Sibling glance at her telling her all she needed to know, not needing words. Big Mac let out a gentle smile. She helped her little brother reach the cabinet above the sink, reaching the scissors that were so high up it took them both working together to reach. Applejack had a slight doubt in his mind, his parents probably didn't want him touching the scissors by himself, did they? But he had his big sister with him, and it had to be done! Nopony else would, and only they understood. Applejack balanced shakily with two hooves on Big Mac's back, warily reaching one back hoof up onto the sink, as he balanced with his two front hooves against the edge of the cabinet. He grasped the scissors between his teeth, and brashly jumped down, just barely missing a potential accident, even though they both knew better than to jump around with scissors, they threw caution to the wind regardless. Applejack happily put his front hooves on the rim of the sink, tapping them and bopping his little head, he looked at his big sister, who began working at his hair. Big Mac chopped with a great lack of care, playfully snipping one strand then the next. Applejack beamed the whole time, simply happy to have it happen, plan or not. Big Mac frequently spun around him, balancing on three hooves and sometimes getting in so close that she held his face with one hoof, his hair with another, and cut with the scissors firm in her mouth. Applejack's body relaxed completely and was kicking and rearing with every cut, wiggling and happily holding his front hooves together and constantly swishing his head from side to side to check how it looked, one side fell to his muzzle, and the other to his chin. He smiled bigger than ever before. With the final snip, Big Mac dropped the scissors carelessly to the tile below. She gently grasped Applejack's chin and turned her sibling's head forward to face the mirror, and his mouth immediately fell agape, his jaw slack, and his eyes slowly widening with the purest joy there ever was. He cupped his hooves to his mouth, removing them, turning his head to the side, and then fixing himself and putting his hooves to his open mouth once again. He felt a soft tug in his throat and his chest, and he couldn't control the watering in his eyes, "Big Mac!!" his voice cracked. "Yes Applejack?" the filly said apprehensively, fearing that she had done something wrong. "Oh Big Mac, oh my gosh I love it so so much!!" He bucked and whinnied, spinning in circles, his once-flowing tail too short to trip over now, and the euphoria of it all was the most overwhelming emotion little Applejack had ever felt. The tugging became so immense he couldn't ignore it, and he acknowledged it by leaping onto Big Mac with a hearty hug, squeezing her tight as his little arms could, and he rubbed his muzzle into her neck. Big Mac politely pushed her hoof between her neck and AJ's hoof, making sure he didn't squeeze too tight, struggling slightly to breathe. This foal was definitely a strong one. "Thank you so much big sis!!! I feel so great!!" he neighed, stepping back, one hoof raised wiping his immense wave of tears. The feeling of euphoria shot through his body in a rush, showing itself in the form of a tiny but powerful hop, as he lifted his legs into the air and threw them around. Applejack rushed back to the mirror, urging Big Mac to come look as well, as she didn't quite see herself yet with her hair "done all proper-like." Big Mac's face became pale, as she felt the rush of a thousand different emotions. The paranoia became astounding again, what if she didn't like how she looked as a filly? What if she still didn't feel right? What if it wasn't - Her thoughts were abruptly cut short by Applejack tugging her over, knowing her sister just sometimes needed a push in the right direction. "Lookie Big Mac!!" he placed his arm cheerfully around her, wrapping it over her back. Big Mac's eyes were glued shut, and she only bashfully peeked one eye open because curiosity would've ate her alive otherwise, and deep down she knew she had to see herself eventually. She uncovered her hoof from her eye, and opened both of them slowly. Her mouth opened ever so slightly, and she wasn't even aware she had stopped breathing, her eyes fluttered up and down the braided locks, along with her heart, and her eyes landed on the blossom in her ear. She couldn't speak, her throat clogged up from such elation. She felt the choking once again, but it wasn't like before, this feeling was quite welcoming actually. It rushed from her throat up to her head, and took her breath away. The sobbing ebbed at her cheeks right away, and she turned to look at her brother. As they spoke with lack of words, they stared with inordinate graditude. As Big Mac smoothly turned back to the mirror, Applejack stomped all his hooves again, one after the other with no apparent order or care, shaking his head in a frenzy as his ears twitched and he smiled a mile wide. He finally felt *pretty.* Big Mac watched herself adoringly, for the first time ever, and felt this acceptance and understanding of herself coursing through her veins with a confidence she'd never had. She blushed, and her ears fell downward, a small smile creeping onto her face. "Applejack," she whispered softly, as if she were too worried the world would hear her secrets. Applejack peered closer with wide, curious eyes, "Yeah Big Mac?" he whispered back. "My name.." she mumbled. Applejack raised his eyebrows, captivated, as Big Mac slowly lifted her hoof to the blossom behind her ear. "Blossom?" Applejack stated inquisitively, before Big Mac could shake her head AJ corrected himself, "Orchard Blossom!" he exlaimed, leaning back and jumping in the air, "Oh big sis, that's so pretty!! I love it so much!!" Orchard Blossom nervously gestured for him to keep it down, as he was prone to being unaware of his volume control. Applejack embarassedly covered his mouth with a shy smile, "Oops, sorry big sis." he cleared his throat, "Orchard Blossom!!" he yell-whispered, the excitement shining through him, he stamped his tiny hooves and clapped them together in celebration. "That's so pretty, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack told her earnestly, loving the new name. "I don't think I want a new name, but I'm really happy ya found one you like!" "Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom, Orchard Blossom!" Applejack repeated, playfully prancing in circles, excited by the sight of his short tail, he spun even faster. "What's all that commotion in there? Applejack? Big Mac? Are ya in there?" they heard through the shut door, hoofsteps gradually approaching, painstakingly slow but steady. Both of them felt their hearts drop from their chest as they froze, unable to even fathom moving. How would they explain any of this? Applejack hurried to clean up desperately, brushing the hair together with his hooves, coldly sweating from his brow as he frantically hurried to remove any evidence. He stopped mid-sweep to quickly shove his father's hat on his head, which slumped immediately and blocked his vision. "Oh dangit Blossom, Pa's hat's too big! I can't see!!" Orchard Blossom was still unmoving, sheer panic stopping her very breaths. Applejack felt the tugging in his throat rise up again as he began whimpering.

[johnnys-green-pen]

E! Fanfic: Respite

A short little fic I wrote for @unwittingcatalyst who asked for fluffy things: Johnny can’t sleep, Roy finds a way to fix it.

Doubles as a fill for my “5 AM” monthly prompt from a while back.

Mildly Johnny/Roy, might pass for gen if you squint really really hard.

AO3 Link Here

Roy didn’t know what had woken him up at first - when he opened his eyes, everything was silent and still mostly dark, but something just seemed… off. 

Chet was muttering something into his mustache. He’d have sworn he could hear Cap’s watch tick halfway through the room. There was a faucet gently, almost melodically dripping in the washroom. The sounds of the city, naturally, were always present - and mornings like this, already warm despite the early hour, had a way of making all of that seem just a little more intense.

Still, Roy was pretty sure that wasn’t why he was awake at 5AM. 

He’d bruised his shoulder yesterday and the dull ache had been a constant companion, maybe that was what did it - and so, he turned around in his bunk to take the weight off of the aching joint, kicked the thin sheet he’d been sleeping under off his lower legs, and tried to go back to sleep. 

Blinked.

The bunk next to him was empty. 

Johnny was nowhere to be seen. At first, Roy figured he’d just gone to the latrine - or maybe to the kitchen to grab himself a glass of water, but the station was almost eerily quiet, and Johnny remained distinctly absent, even after a few minutes of waiting.

(Roy knew it had been minutes. He’d been counting the quiet tick-tick-ticks of that damned wristwatch)

It was silly to be worried, Roy was perfectly aware of that. They were safe, they were at the station, and there was really no reason why Johnny would’ve been less than perfectly fine.

So of course, Roy worried anyway.

He got up, scolded himself for his ridiculousness even as he did it. Stifled a groan when he was abruptly reminded that his leg hadn’t escaped that particular rescue unscathed, either. 

The locker room was empty, as it turned out, and so was the engine bay. And cap’s office. And the rec room. 

He was just about to turn around and go back to bed when he noticed that the door from the rec room to the backyard was open - and it definitely hadn’t been yesterday, they’d diligently made sure of that, like every day. 

And that, Roy figured, could only really mean one thing. 

As he rounded the corner, he saw his partner sitting on the floor, cross-legged, head tipped back and resting against the exterior wall of the station. At first he thought that Johnny’d fallen asleep like that, but he could see him blink even from a distance, his long lashes a vague blur in the low light, staring into the sickly blue pre-dawn sky. 

The bruise high on his cheekbone had a startlingly similar color, down to the hints of red. Johnny’d damn near chewed him out when Roy had mentioned it yesterday, told him in no unclear words that he was supposed to shut up and let Johnny check him over - and then, after Brackett had jokingly booted him out of the ER and Johnny’s hands had finally stopped shaking, they’d both just kind of forgotten about it.

Johnny yawned deeply. Shifted slightly.

“Whatcha doin’ out here, Junior?” Roy asked, voice still rough with sleep.

Johnny turned his head without lifting it from the wall, looked at him. 

“Hm?” he asked; a gentle, sleepy sound. Roy was just about to repeat his question when Johnny sighed minutely. 

“‘m just… out here.”

“I can see that,” Roy replied. “Didn’t you work an overtime shift last shift? You shouldn’t be awake right now.”

“Tell me about it, partner,” Johnny muttered. Looked him up and down. “How are you doing?” “I’m fine,” Roy replied. “Just fine. Don’t you wanna go back to bed?”

“Nah.” 

The shadows under Johnny’s eyes weren’t entirely a trick of the light.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked, but he already knew the answer, even before Johnny crossed his arms in a gesture that would’ve seemed defiant on anybody else.

All Roy could see right then were the vestiges of yesterday’s fear and a sense of aching, hollow loneliness. 

Johnny took a slightly shaky breath.

“Maybe I don’t want to sleep,” he said. “Maybe I just wanted to watch the sunrise.”

“I’m sure you did.” Roy smiled, let himself sink to the floor next to Johnny, so close their legs were almost touching. “How about I watch it with you, then?” 

Roy’d never get over that look he'd seen in Johnny’s eyes yesterday as his partner had cleared the debris off of him, had yanked a wardrobe out of the way that must’ve been heavier than both of them combined, frantic and so lost. Roy had been alright this time. They both knew that next time, he might not.

Johnny knew what Roy was doing, he could tell by the way the corners of his lips twitched up into a fond, slightly sheepish little smile.

“You’re hurt,” he said anyway, “you should be resting.”

“I’ve got a couple bruises,” Roy replied. “Rest won’t do a thing.”

“Won’t know for sure until you try it!” Johnny’s tone light, his eyes still so worried.

“Forget it, Junior,” Roy said and slid just a little closer to his partner, “I’m staying out here with you until you go back inside, and that’s that.”

“Guess we’re at an impasse, then, because I’m staying right where I am.” A smug look in Roy’s direction, quickly fading when Johnny realized how close they were. He blinked. Made eye contact. So soft, so sleepy, and Roy knew all Johnny needed was a nudge into the right direction.

He knew he was running the risk of making this weird when he moved even closer and slipped an arm around Johnny’s shoulders - but he was also pretty sure it wasn’t a particularly big risk. 

And besides, he’d kinda really wanted to do that for a while now.

A shudder went through Johnny, bone-deep, and he slumped against Roy. Took a deep, shaky breath as the tension of the past day sloughed off of him.

“10-4?” Roy asked quietly.

“10-4,” Johnny muttered in reply.

Lifted his head the tiniest bit.

“Hey, Roy?” 

“Hm?”

“Are you really gonna stay out here now?”

“Hm,” Roy hummed affirmatively.

“Incredible.”

“Hmmmm…”

Silence. 

Then, after several long, serene moments:

“Hey, Roy?”

“What is it, Johnny?”

A long, long pause, as if Johnny wanted to say something but didn’t quite dare.

“... thanks,” was what he finally settled on. 

Roy got the idea, anyway.

Five minutes later Johnny was fast asleep, his head resting on Roy’s uninjured shoulder, while the sun slowly began to inch its way over the freeway. 

Somehow, between the sickly blue giving way to lively oranges and delicate pinks and his partner and best friend and everything resting warm and safe against him, Roy couldn’t imagine a better way to spend his morning.

Next time, though, he resolved, he'd grab a pillow on his way out.

[nostalgic-pancakes]

F is for friends who do stuff together - the awake at 2 AM remix

Joan needs a swear jar, Talyn's a lightbulb, Valerie is tired and valid, and Thomas+Sides are very confused)

Summary- Thomas has had his sides around for... a long time. That's for sure. And he knows that nobody else can see them (except maybe Lilly, but she has sides too, so).

Pairings- Pintroverts, Thomas and friends, Thomas and Sides

Read on AO3

Word count- 2666

Warnings- It has character!everyone, and NOT their real life counterparts. Please remember this.

Other notes- AU where instead of Vine, c!Thomas left chemical engineering for signing with a really dope theatre company with his friends. He still meets Nico at the mall, but Nico's a new writer for the company! All the sides are friends too! Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look, the first time was an accident, okay? Joan was tired and a bit incoherent and what was Thomas supposed to do?!! Leave them be? No! So Joan ended up staying the night.

Except, the next morning was when everyone had entered the courtroom together and they'd gotten WAY too dramatic over whether to lie to them about a text they'd made like… two days ago and that Thomas had only seen after combing through a barrage of memes and that Joan probably wouldn't remember, come to think about it. But that was hindsight and after the utter nightmare that was a whole day (A whole day!!) with Aunt Patty the day before, Virgil and Patton were absolutely freaking out, probably giving Deceit (Who, in hindsight, Thomas knows as Janus) a little extra leeway into the conversation that day.

Either way, Joan had stayed the night in order to recover from the utter sleep-deprivation that they'd been going through, and Thomas had forgotten about the fact that Joan was even there for most of the morning, only seeing them after the entire courtroom spectacle (and a suspiciously dire warning from Virgil) at breakfast, and them leaving to see Talyn a little after (with plenty of hugs involved, duh).

Then Thomas told Joan the truth over the call, and Joan had said The Line (as Roman, Virgil and Janus call it with an oddly cryptid-like voice) and Thomas felt himself go frigid.

Since when did Joan know that Thomas talked to his sides?! Had they learned their names? Figured out that Thomas might just have a few extra screws loose than they might have initially thought?

"Maybe they even hate us now because we got so crazed over one little text and--”

“Virgil. Not helping!” Thomas yelps, and Virgil catches himself in his spiel of worst case scenarios, looking a bit sheepish. Patton and Thomas smile at him reassuringly (he hopes) and Logan clears his throat, causing everyone to turn to him.

“Well, Joan seems to be aware enough of the fact that you speak to us, but mostly considers it as you, as they had said, ‘talking to yourself’, and besides, you didn’t name-drop us too many times, anyways. And while it’s not really...ideal, that Joan thinks you talk to yourself for this long-”

“You can say that again, Stephen Hawk-Nerd”, murmured Roman. Logan winces, and Thomas kind of wants to hug him, so he does.

“Yes, Roman, and as bad as that nickname is, note that this is not, in fact a worst-case scenario. This can be put down to the fact that Thomas has some strange personality quirks-”

“Did you just do some wordplay there, kiddo?” Patton beams at the implication, while Logan, currently being shared by Thomas and Virgil, just groans and descends further into the contact.

“No, I did not, Patton, but what I am saying, is that this is not too bad. We can talk about it as a general personality quirk. This is fine.” Logan finishes, and becomes a heap in the total hug-pile of Thomas and Virgil, flopping over. Huh, he (as usual) has a point. Maybe this can work.

The second time was a pretty near miss, but once again, it was unexpected! He and the sides were just watching Mulan together as usual! They were piled up together, blankets in hand, and yeah, it might look weird to anyone who can’t see the sides, he guesses, with the blankets stretched out in places that have nothing to stretch onto, but once again, he wasn't expecting someone to come over! But anyways- whatever happens, happens. He's trying to be better about it.

It really doesn't stop Janus from pulling out all the stops (teaming up with Virgil, even!) when it comes to having to come up with an alibi to Terrence over why the blankets are arranged so strangely, even though there is literally nothing keeping it afloat. In the end, it's not the most believable lie, but Terrence is busy with Valerie just after, so he probably doesn't really think about it too hard. Besides, Thomas has always been a pretty quirky guy! ("Which could be an insul--" "Jack and Sullen, we love you very very much, but please, for the love of all things Disney, please breathe and take out your fidget cube..") So hey, what was a new quirk when added to everything else?

Meanwhile, Terrence is trying to figure out what the fuck he just saw, because he's pretty sure that there were more than one Thomas there, and Thomas only has two other brothers. Also none of them dress like twenties mobsters or are semi-transparent.

Nico was having a good day. In fact, he still is!

He and his (amazing) boyfriend were sitting on the couch- though more draped on top of each other than anything while binge watching ELITE and Tiny Pretty Things, while also being pleasantly high (as opposed to stoned).

Things only entered strange territory when during one of the flashback murder-y scenes in Tiny pretty Things, a strange man who looked like an even more chaotic Thomas with some grey hair on him entered the room from seemingly nowhere, and proceeded to occupy the sparse space on Thomas’s lap with his head, essntially just napping on his boyfriend’s lap while also being kind of see-through (???!!!???AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH). Thomas noticed, waved a small wave and started playing with this weird guy’s hair.

Nico is now a little high from the bong that he and Thomas had shared, but not enough to hallucinate, especially since, when the high was pretty much gone, the guy was STILL THERE. MIERDA. At this point, he’s just going to call it ghosts. Thomas doesn’t seem to mind too much anyways, so they must not be harmful. Nico decides to table this for another day and go back to binge watching crazy maniacs with his very soft and warm boyfriend, and let the remainder of the high coast along.

"We have to talk about the Thomas thing." Is the first thing Joan says without any bullshit, as soon as everyone except Thomas himself, Gavin (because it's two AM) and Quil are packed together in Thomas's living room, where he just binged Parks and Rec with everyone. They've all finally managed to shove Thomas and Quil back to their respective areas of sleep after 42 hours without said sleep, and nobody was allowed to talk loud enough for them to wake up.

"The… Thomas thing?" Asks Valerie. Oh that sweet summer child. Joan once again quietly calls everyone's attention by asking Talyn to shake their hair around like a neon-coloured alarm bell. This was especially effective in the otherwise dark kitchen where they were trying out glow in the dark hair dye.

"Well, as of lately, we've been seeing a lot, and I mean a lot of really weird shit coming from Thomas. Everyone, recount your experiences." Joan says in the most serious voice they've got. "I'll go first."

They wave their hands like Matt Mercer, as if they were setting up a dope DND campaign. Quietly, of course.

"Well, about a month ago now, I was cleaning here, at Thomas's, because I was sleep-deprived and would have crashed and died if I'd tried to go back to mine and Talyn's. So most of the night goes normally, as one would expect, but when I wake up in the morning…" Joan readjusts their beanie. "I hear Thomas in the living room, talking to people called Logan, Roman, someone called Pat, Virgil and 'deceit'. And this debate becomes an ordeal, alright? He re-enacts a whole entire ace-attorney style courtroom scene with these imaginary people? I called him out on it over the phone when he apologized for some random thing- I don't remember, and he kind of just… admitted that he talks to himself? And moved on.

Everyone absorbs this new information. Camden keeps braiding Talyn's hair.

"But that's not too big of a deal, right Joan?" Whispers Camden, tying up the elaborate mini fishtail plait in Talyn's hair. "I mean, thanks Thomas we're talking about. He could have been rehearsing or something- isn't he JD in the next production of Heathers?"

Terrence speaks up next. "Yes, this would have been all well and good, had the Blanket Incident ™ not occured."

Valerie shakes her head. Why are her friends like this? Oh wait. They’re all theatre nerds, queer and D&D players.

"In the blanket incident ™, I was walking past Thomas's room, as one does. HOWEVER, while he was watching Mulan, I noticed something wrong with his blanket pile!"

"What, that they don't have any Vetal Miking references on them? Because that's the true tragedy here."

"Nope, sorry Tal, the weirdness here was not about Vetal Miking references, but the fact that parts of the blanket were freaking floating, in thin air! I have discreet pictures!"

"What the fuck, Terrence." whispered everyone in a strange, haunting unison that could only be possible at two AM as they saw the very strange pictures.

"And that's not it!" Pipes up Talyn, who is now realising that they are very close to becoming too loud for 2 AM kitchen chats, and makes an effort to quiet down.

"At breakfast today, Thomas's waffles were making themselves- Thomas can't cook, y'all. And he can't even use is fucking waffle iron. And he was on the other side of the room! Talking to Quil!" After Quil left, he told the waffle creator to chill out because the stack was getting too tall!"

"Is this about Thomas's ghosts, guys?" Asks Nico, the new cute boyfriend and new theatre company writer as he plops down in Quil's usual spot. Nico's nice- everyone likes Nico except maybe Nico, to which, well, mood. ALSO- ghosts?!!

"Nico what the fuck do you mean by ghosts, you serial killer in training?"

"One, just because I have to write a serial killer in this new script and I'm enjoying it, it doesn't mean I'm gonna be a serial killer, you tonte. Two: yeah, the ghosts that follow him around and look just like him? They seem nice enough." At everyone's super unspoken request to elaborate, for fuck's sake, he takes the hint and does.

“Oh! So the first time I saw them, I was at the mall. You know, where Thomas and I met?” everyone nods, and Talyn readjusts their braces.

“So there was this guy in a hoodie- Virgil, as you said, and the Disney prince. Roman, I think. And they were just kind of… there? Roman was holding Virgil’s shoulder affectionately, and that’s about it. They were only really visible after about three or four hours of us talking, though.” Some of the people hum.

“Then, we were watching a movie and these two guys who also look a lot like Thomas just kind of lounged? On the couch? They were pretty faint, like if their brightness was decreased to about thirty percent in Photoshop.”

“Hey, same!” says Terrence.

“Yeah, so those guys- the one in the green t-shirt that has the legs on the bus meme- so weird- kind of just stretches onto Thomas’s lap and stays there, while the twenties mobster just… curls up to his side? And thomas is probably like, used to this because he kind of just lets it be and curls the meme shirt-”

“I think it’s Remus.”

“-Remus’s hair absentmindedly and moves on.”

“Fuck.” Whispered Joan very softly, but with great feeling.

“So what do we do about it?” asks Camden. There, finally, someone asks the real questions.

“Well,” puts forward Talyn. “They’re not harming him, right? And he’s had them around for a long enough time, right? So what’s the harm? Thomas is just haunted and will probably be on Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural at some point when he dies but hey, if he’s cool with it, we are too.”

Everyone seems to agree with that, and they’re in comfortable silence, until Valerie asks everyone to go the fuck to sleep, we’re still doing the Heather’s costume rehersals and Death Week starts in two days. With groans and cracked joints from Talyn, everyone hobbles off to their respective rooms in the duplex.

Meanwhile, a certain white-streaked side and his hoodied companion are listening through the wall, far away from what anyone can see, and they both visibly sigh in relief. That didn’t go too badly. The question remains: what do we do now?

“They KNOW????” exclaims Thomas, the next day in the (thankfully empty) breakroom, in between rehearsals- Candy Store is being run through and that means that everyone else is outside.

“Yes, Thomas, they know. Or they somewhat know, I suppose.”

“Yeah, because they think we’re-Thomas is being HAUNTED!!’

“Are you not haunted, then?” comes a voice, and Thomas turns around, forgetting to let the sides dissipate in his surprise. It’s Nico, with Talyn and Valerie close behind, who are clearly taking in the six other guys in the breakroom. Well, fuck. The cat’s out of the bag for good, he guesses.

“Could you get everyone else during lunch break? I’ll explain then.” Talyn nods and leaves with a smile, telling him that they’re not mad at him, while Nico asks, voice farther away “So are you haunted or not?”.

“So they’re… aspects of your personality that you’ve been able to manifest since you were a kid?” Camden asks, a bit disbelieving, even as Logan, Roman, Patton and Janus drape themselves over Thomas on one of the beanbags in the breakroom, filled with other nerdy gay young adults. Logan pushes up his glasses, ready to go on another tangent. Go wild, you funky little dude.

“Well yes, that’s exactly what we're saying. I myself am the embodiment of Logic- every fact that Thomas has ever learned, and his, and these are his words, not mine, ‘the only braincell’. He makes the air quotes to go with the expression, but is also smiling fondly.

“Classic Thomas.”

“Yes, Valerie, I am inclined to agree. However, this is not specific to Thomas. Other people can, in fact, do what Thomas is. Lilly Singh is one of them- the reason that she and Thomas are even friends is because in high school Thomas caught her talking to one of her sides in the art room.”

“So wait-- we can summon sides too?!” asks Nico, and he and Camden look genuinely excited, but Thomas knows the answer to that question.

“Unfortunately no, not really. You have to have an extremely active imagination, and also be ‘innocent’, as society would put it. I’d say näive.”

“For example, I couldn’t make any more sides after i was fourteen, because I watched the news by then.” pipes in Thomas. Joan seems to process this first, nodding and grinning sardonically. “Ah yes, the news. Wrecking childhoods since forever.” everyone nods in gay syncing, because gay minds think at the same time.

Valerie suddenly speaks up; “So how many sides do you have, Thomas?”

Thomas perks up, because his sides are possibly his favourite metaphysical beings (as narcissistic as that might sound) “I have six! My logic, morality, both creativities- Kids and Family and PG13-and-up, anxiety and deceit! I have two creativities because of catholic guilt and my mind’s inherent need to cause chaos, I guess.”

“Valid” replied Valerie.

The rest of break passed by pretty smoothly, with questions being passed back-and-forth about what the sides truly were, considering they clearly were not just Thomas, and Virgil even felt okay enough to come in later! So that was good. Though he kind of wishes Remus had made fewer Heathers jokes- Camden was starting to look squeamish, even as Nico frantically took notes of gorey facts to use in his script.

Honestly, Thomas thought to himself. What was I scared of?

Irrational things. And rejection, replies Virgil in his head. He laughs and pulls him in for a hug, and tries as he might to deny it, Virgil is looking pretty chuffed.