#i am a massive hypocrite i fear

[sharks-sharks-sharks]

This is my WIP Riordanverse Polycule AU thing I came up with. It is currently 1 am and I am only posting because my friends are ignoring me tbh

IMPORTANT: This is a mix of ships that are in canon/I would want to be canon and ships that I can only see existing in fanfic. This entirely for fun and I wouldn't want a giant polycule like this in the canon of the Riordanverse. This also contains spoilers for Trials of Apollo onwards.

Notes:

- Nico's three (2½) years younger than Percy/Annabeth

- They're all 18-21 by the time it's fully active

- Octavian/Jason used to be a thing

- Annabeth knew she was bi before all of this idk

MAJOR CHANGES TO THE STORY !!!1!1!

- Jiper doesn't break up until after Burning Maze, but they're at the end of their relationship during it

- There isn't the prophecy saying Jason/Piper will die (it actually just says that they will be driven apart) so Jason survives!!! Barely, he almost dies, but some of Apollo's god power shit god powers, the experience still shocks him so vividly he character growths tho dwdw

- Caleo never happens romantically, their relationship is never romantic, they're just friends, there's not Calypso and Leo repair shop bs, but Leo still does rescue her and they do become best friends because they really understand each other (I like them as best friends tbh)

How the relationships happen

- Percabeth, Solangelo, and Shel/Piper (kinda on that last one) happen the same way they do in canon

- Jercy are grossly close as friends and unintentionally cross Annabeth's boundaries, Percabeth have a discussion about it, Percy realises he's bi, him and Annabeth decide to open up their relationship, Jercy get together

- Shel/Piper is open from the start, Shel has a couple other partners alr, they're where Percabeth gets the "idea" from ig, Annabeth is the one to confess

- The reason Jason didn't think his relationship with Percy (predating) was weird was bc he acts the exact same with his other best friend, Leo. When Jercy gets together, he realises this, Jason is the one to confess to Leo.

- Valsolangelo happens... at some point.

- Jasico happens after Valsolangelo, Jason is the one to confess.

[teaandransacking]

In response to the Lockwood x reader smut I think that the “we might die tonight” concept is good thank youuuu

Hi! I hope you like this.

fever dream high in the quiet of the night

Pairing: Anthony Lockwood x female reader ~ Words: 1600 ~ content: heavy petting, swearing, sexual tension

a/n: let's agree that Lockwood is 18 or over for the purposes of this fic, ok? ok thanks.

The room is very still around you.

You wish Lucy and George were here, but they’re back at Portland Row, recovering from rapier wounds. Barely a scratch, Lucy insisted, but Lockwood won’t have anyone working unless they’re at full health.

That should count you out, really. You’re never at full health around him. He’s as distracting and frustrating as he is magnetic. You could just as likely kiss him as punch his stupidly handsome face. Most of the time you think you’d choose to do both simultaneously.

Lockwood eventually shrugs off his coat. You’re in the third (?) sitting room of this manor house in Surrey, waiting for the clock to strike seven. That, according to your clients, is when the Visitors arrive. It’s quarter past six - you’re always early, and for once, Lockwood is, too.

“Getting comfy, are we?” you snark.

He folds his long body into the armchair, and you have to resist looking at his lap. You could easily curl yourself up on it.

He lifts one shoulder in a half shrug. “We should rest while we have the chance. We’ll need our strength later, especially with our reduced numbers.”

You swallow. “Yeah. We’ve got this, though.”

He meets your gaze and nods one, decisively. “We’ll do admirably.” He stretches, and you almost miss it - the tiny wince that passes over his face.

He’s still in pain from the gunshot wound.

It was months ago, but-

Your throat goes tight to think of it. How you and Lucy and George closed ranks around him. How his eyes seemed so dim when he finally opened them. How limp he was.

You must make some sound of disquiet, because his eyes narrow and as always, he sees too much. “Are you all right?”

“Fine.”

He smiles, a little. “I’ll allow that I don’t know a huge amount about girls, but I do know when when they say fine like that, they’re far from it.”

You fold your arms over your chest. “You’re a massive hypocrite, you know that? You force Lucy and George to stay at home and rest, and meanwhile, your shoulder isn’t even fully healed.”

Something flashes across his face - vulnerability or pain, you can’t tell. “It’s fine.”

“Oh, and now who’s insisting they’re fine when they’re not?” You hiss, stalking over to him.

He stands from the chair, his face murderous. “You do not get to be in charge here. It’s my name on the door. I am responsible for all of you.”

“Yes! A job that, might I remind you, you cannot complete if you are dead!”

The word comes out in a sob and, startling yourself, you crumple against him.

His arms come around you instantly, and he gently tugs you down into the chair, urging your legs up so you are curled in his lap. You panic for a second but manage to arrange your rapier so it doesn’t stab either of you.

“You have a fucking death wish, don’t you, you prick,” you try to snap, but the seeing as you’re half-crying, the words don’t have the desired effect.

“Believe it or not, I fear death much more these days, now I have the three of you,” Lockwood says softly, pressing a kiss to your hair.

You freeze, and something in the air crackles.

You’ve never been alone together like this before. There’s always someone else in the house, or you’re walking somewhere - Tesco, Arif’s shop - and suddenly the yawning pit of need that constantly lives inside you around Lockwood opens its maw and begs.

“Can’t you just stay home just once?” you murmur into the soft, clean cotton of his dress shirt. “Just stay safe, for fucking once.”

“I’d be a pretty poor agency head if I did, darling.”

It’s the first time he’s used the endearment and it turns everything inside you to liquid. 

You lift your face and see that he’s gazing down at you, his dark eyes lust-blown, and he’s so tempting and so close. You slide your hand up his chest, cup his cheek. “Every time we do this, we court death. And I don’t want to die before we’ve had the chance to live.”

He inhales sharply at your words, and then his hands - warm and rapier-callused - cup your face and he captures your mouth a kiss.

It’s soft and sweet at first, then hungrier, deeper. Your tongues tangle. He tastes of bergamot and marmalade and it’s both exotic and comforting, and his mouth is pliable and delicious. You have limited time, so despite the fact you could kiss him for hours, days, you want more.

He makes a sad little sound when you break the kiss, and that alone makes you want to dive back in. 

Instead, you shift upwards, move to straddle his lap. When you next look down at him, his gaze is fixed on you, his eyes as black as night. He looks at you as if you personally hung the moon and every single star, and it’s heady, these feelings he always stirs inside you.

His hands slide down to your hips, pulling your body flush against his, and oh. He is definitely as into this as you are. 

His throat bobs as he swallows, and then he says, thickly, “Dreamed about this. Being near you. Like this.”

Your heart clenches. “Me, too,” you admit. You glance at the door. You’ll have to go out there soon. Endanger your life. Lockwood will protect you with his. You know it without a doubt.

“Hey,” he begins, and then he whispers your name in that low, buttery smooth voice. “Just be here with me. Don’t think about anything else.”

You almost snark back that he finally has a good idea, but this moment is perfect. You don’t want to ruin it, so you dip your head and kiss him, let your hands start to work on the knot of his tie. It slides through your hands, silky smooth, and then you’re deepening the kiss, plundering his mouth while your slip one, two, three of his shirt buttons through the tiny eyelets, then spread your greedy palms over the smooth, warm skin of his chest.

He groans into your mouth, and it’s a powerful thing, to rob Anthony bloody Lockwood of words, but then you find that any possible clever quip is stolen at your own mouth as his hands burrow under your jumper and cup your breasts through the bra. You arch into his touch, and he mutters something like “perfection” against your lips as he caresses you.

You grind into each other on the wide, soft armchair. He’s hard where you’re soft, and the pressure is exquisite. Impatient, you reach behind yourself, under your sweater, to unclip your bra, and when Lockwood feels the cups release and your bare skin against his, he swears, low and guttural, and making him come this undone makes you feral for him.

He pushes the hem of your sweater up, breaks the kiss, and then sets a hand under your bottom, urging you up so he can put his mouth on your breasts. His face is just a little rough from half a day’s stubble, and the tiny hurt grounds you as he lavishes attention on one breast and then the next, while the push and pull of pleasure makes you dizzy. You fist your hands in his hair, and it’s warm and silky.

You arch your back, pressing into his mouth, and all you can think is yes and don’t stop, and he doesn’t. He is nothing if not thorough, but then it’s not enough, and you’re impatient, every iota of you on fire. You unsnap your jeans and almost rip open the buttons, taking one of his hands from your chest and shoving it right where you want it.

To his credit, Lockwood is a fast learner - he can’t have become the UK’s youngest agency head for nothing, you suppose - and he finds your clit after a only few fumbles, quickly learning which movements make you cry out and press into his hands. 

You’ve wanted this for so long that you’re soaked, and it doesn’t take long before that tell-tale sensation begins to coil in your belly.

“Say my name,” he murmurs against the curve of your breast. “Please.”

And he circles his finger over you twice more and you come like that, squirming against him, breathing his name -  his first name - and he sighs as he works you through the orgasm, until you’re shuddering from it.

You drop a kiss on his forehead, and you’re about to ask if you can return the favour, find out what he likes, how he tastes, Christ that’d be hot - and the clock strikes seven.

Lockwood withdraws his hand, pulls your jumper down.

“This is not over,” you whisper.

He flashes that megawatt grin. “Not by a long shot.”

And reluctantly, you break apart and get ready to face whatever is behind the door in this old house. 

But you’ll do it together.

[utilitycaster]

To your point this isn't about breaking thrones: either in cooldown or the episode itself, Matt called the beings Ashton was interacting with 'elemental lords and ladies', iirc. There is no sidestepping this issue, which is why fans who can't tolerate criticism of the character resort to these false accusations, or single out a handful of hateful comments the character gets over the legitimate critiques. It's become so transparent to me -- thank you for continuing to point it out, honestly.

Right, like these are also immortal, eternal, immensely powerful beings! They're different from the gods but again, if the issue is a power differential, then why are titans exempt?

One also has to acknowledge that Ashton told the entire Accord they served the weak and then when Ka'Mort said the weak would be "remade" he was like "yeah sounds great". I even at an earlier point said that Ashton isn't hypocritical, they're just prioritizing their own pain, which they've largely misplaced on the gods when it was in fact largely due to multiple shitty mortals, most of whom were either also seeking the power of the titans (the Hishari) or at least doing business with the Ruby Vanguard (Jiana), or as far as we know totally secular (Greymoore Asylum...where they ended up because of the Hishari).

I also said this in the tags but like. If you are an internet stranger and you're like "well I relate to this character so if you don't like them I am sad" it's like, why the fuck do you think you're inherently likeable? Like yeah actually if you agree with that statement and don't see any issue with it, I think you're someone who at the very best is worryingly susceptible to indoctrination by fascists, and that's not someone I want to be around! If you genuinely are like "oh, no, this person can't be an asshole because they are dressed like a Good Person, per punk lace code" you are like, cartoonishly stupid, literally, like I bet I could lure you into running into a wall if I painted a train tunnel on it! If you say such disingenuous things as "why are people so afraid of change" when the issue isn't that things will change (once again. I have to point out. that there's fucking aliens from the moon showing up and I haven't seen anyone take issue with that provided they're, well, coming in peace) that just tells me that either you're deliberately manipulative or you're extremely easy to manipulate yourself by any charismatic leader who says "why won't you do what I say? Why does change scare you?"

If you think you're entitled to my approval not just of you but because of your blorbo based on identity that's a massive point against you, in my book, actually. Like why should I like you? You seem needy and annoying. I think you deserve all human rights and should live comfortable freely without fear of violence or discrimination but you sound like a self-absorbed dick who's exhausting to be around and I don't want to feed your shitty ego! You're not being nice to me or taking my concerns seriously or showing me you're fun or caring or even interesting and worth befriending; you're just reciting a list of your blorbos and your oppressed identities at me as if you think you can pressure me into putting up with your whiny ass. And yeah, if you can't articulate why it's totally okay if the strong will survive and the weak will be remade, you're not going to contribute to this discussion in any meaningful way, because that's the point of contention.

[somenerdfromwhatever]

Nex didn't deserve to die.

Warning: This is a massive rant that deals with heavy topics. It's long, it's blunt, but I want to share this because quite frankly, it's sickening and I want to use my platform for good.

On February 19th 2024, I heard something that really drove me and others up a wall:

Nex was brutally murdered by 3 female bullies in their school all because they are human. With no help from their own school system to save them, it's no surprise why they deserve the criticism for their inaction.

Now why did I say, because "they are human" instead of "they are non-binary"? I'm not denying they are non-binary, as a non-binary myself it is disturbing to hear such awful news. I am not ignoring this critical information. They are valid.

Truth is, I want to highlight their HUMANITY because the LGBT community are humans like you.

I never met Nex personally, but I feel a deep connection with them as a fellow non-binary person. I know what it's like to face bullying, harassment, and discrimination for being who I am. Even before I came out as non-binary, growing up with autism, I know the pain. Middle School was a pain for me because of it, it led me to hate myself. I know what it's like to live in fear and pain, to struggle with self-acceptance and self-love. I'm happy that their family accepted them for who they are and I feel sorry for their loss as well. This shouldn't have happened.

The more I think about this, the worse it gets. If Nex was not non-binary, if they were just another student that day, how would the public react? Everyone would be outraged and demand justice! But because Nex was non-binary, I have seen a lot of people, a lot of DISGUSTING people, say that they deserved it and that they were NOT HUMAN. In fact, that is why I hooked y'all's attention by saying that they are murdered because "they are human". I want to make this clear: Regardless of gender identity, Nex's inherent humanity is first and foremost.

As I see those countless comments pile up minute after minute, hour after hour... all I can mutter is "why?"

How can anyone promote and celebrate a death of another human being for just being themselves? How can anyone love to deny the humanity of others because they expressed their souls for who they are? How can anyone celebrate deaths of others who love the same gender, who become trans, or non-binary? Even after everything is set and stone, literally how?

And if these "people" who hate them do believe in some god or religion, why would they be hypocrites to their own god? Didn't their god say "Love thy neighbor", and "Don't bear false witness"? How can they claim to follow their faith, when they violate its most basic principles? I have a dad who practices religion sometimes but not a lot, I told him about this and the hypocritical nature of some of these people. The best way he worded it is this: "they can't claim to love god if they bastardize their teachings. God will roll their eyes and send them straight to hell."

Is this what humanity is now? Celebrating the death of innocents who their "crime" is living their best life?

There is no political two-sided debate on this issue. In fact, THERE NEVER WAS.

We are human, just like everyone else. We are human, and we matter.

And if I can for a moment, I notice a common theme here when it comes to these horrendous acts:

For a lot of these people that hate the LGBT community but love freedoms like free speech, it is pretty telling how much these people care about themselves and not practicing what the constitution preaches. It's hilarious yet baffling. Remember the book bans? They love to say it's to protect the kids but their ulterior motives prove otherwise. They targeted government public libraries all across the country claiming that books who celebrate being different are a "cancer". It wouldn't be surprising if they cheered for KOSA, a sweeping censorship law masquerading as child protection, but in reality, aimed at tightening control over Americans like myself to limit our expression. They want to censor and silence our stories, our voices, our experiences. They want to erase and deny our existence, our diversity, our humanity. They want to ban books that feature stories that say it's ok to be different. They want to forbid us from wearing clothes that express our gender identity or challenge gender stereotypes, even if they are harmless and comfortable. They are afraid of "drag", which is just fabric and makeup, which is hilarious how they managed to get so worked up on that.

Even more hilarious is the fact that they "claim" to hate China, Russia, and other authoritarian countries for their censorship, but they are damn eager to emulate it here in the "land of the free". Passing laws that blatantly violate our rights and our constitution every day. How do they not see the irony? It's pretty god damn telling right? Almost as if their version of "freedom" is not free for the people, but free for themselves. Freedom of expression is not selective, it is universal. If you respect the right of others to have different political views, you should also respect the right of others to have different identities.

"Land of the free" am I right? By expressing these statements, you really are no different from the countries you claim to hate.

This world is a cruel place, and the people that are cruel are the most pathetic people of all. Especially those that:

Be afraid of people using rooms with toilets all because they are different.

Be hateful and violent towards people who are different from them.

Be ignorant and arrogant about the diversity and complexity of human nature.

Be offended over people wearing fabric and clothing that is different from the norm that promotes their expression.

I’m not taking this post down. Say what you want on what I think, but we tried explaining this to you many times, the facts are all there clear as day and clear as crystal.

We are human.

Rest in Peace Nex. May justice come to those that wronged you.

[sparking-steps]

Sparking-Steps' Acquisitions Log, entry 2: A far too exciting entry into Skyrim.

Much less precedes this passage than the last. This time a reddish, circular stain adorns the top of the page, inside the circle in small handwriting "The scaled one forgot to close their book! All will know the Fey Lux was here!" is written along with a small winged stick figure that seems to be laughing.

Well, shit. My little trip over the Jeralls was far, far more eventful than I was hoping it would be and it turns out that I might have accidentally fallen face first into a major historical event. I wasn’t intending to use these entries to talk about events like this, but honestly this is justified.

To start the story from where I left off, it turns out the route I was taking wasn’t as safe or unpatrolled as I thought it was. I knew it was a risk to cross the border without proper paperwork, but delaying the trip for the month it would’ve taken to actually get all of that filled out, signed and paid for would have been excruciatingly boring. So I was caught by an Imperial patrol and, well, they didn’t take any excuses. To make matters worse I had run into a group of them that were just about to hold an execution due to one of their prisoners being the damned leader of the Stormcloaks himself!

So there I was, unable to successfully bargain with the somehow handsome soldier with my fate in his hands, about to get my head chopped off, when the worst possible miracle happens and a DRAGON ATTACKS THE TOWN WE WERE IN!!!! A FUCKING DRAGON! THE FIRST DRAGON SPOTTED ON MUNDUS IN MILLENIA AND IT PREVENTED MY OWN DEATH BY MERE MOMENTS! Is some god playing a prank? Is Sheogorath laughing it up on his throne? Was Mephala soaking up my fear in that moment? Gods.

So I was able to escape with the help of the previously mentioned somewhat handsome soldier, kind one he is, I hope he does well in his war. I can’t say the same of most of that town, Helgen it was called. I went through the place later, it’s just entirely ruined. Gods above though, dragons are back after all this time. Beasts gone for so long that some people thought they were myths. I’m fairly certain there’s a prophecy from one of the elder scrolls on this happening, so it’s probably very likely that we’re about to start living in very, very historically interesting times. Gods damn it.

Well, none of that matters though, I still have a job to do and current history has only a little to do with it. The possible end of the world at the hand of an ancient draconic tyrant isn’t going to fucking stop me from doing the job I’ve been wanting to do for years! I AM GOING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ARCHEOLOGIST AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME! Take that damned overgrown dragonlings.

So, besides my near execution and the possible start to the end of Mundus, I have actually had a nice time here in Skyrim so far. The people have been kind enough, I’ve even found a traveling partner, a fellow scholar named Lucien. A rather charming fellow, if a little unprepared for the exploring lifestyle. Of course, I’d be a hypocrite if I dismissed him for that, I’m not exactly too prepared for actual life and death combat either. Fortunately my dueling skills are carrying me so far. Regardless, Lucien seems eager to learn and I’m eager to learn with him.

Lastly before I actually get to what this journal is supposed to be used for, I have made it to the Auryen’s museum and, I have to say, the old Mer has outdone himself. This place is magnificent! It’ll take years to actually fill this place, it’s absolutely massive! Even the housing that he arranged for me in the place is immaculate! I genuinely don’t know what to say in regards to all of this, this is perfect! The fact that I’m getting this living space and an actual pay is more than I could’ve ever dreamed for! Goodbye loud sleepless nights in university dorms and inns, hello COMFORT!

But, well, on to what I’m actually writing this damned thing for, the log.

ACQUISITIONS LOG #1:

Alcoholic Drinks, Various: For a display on the more unique types of alcohol native to Skyrim. Most of these are various regional liquors and meads from the holds I've visited. One of them is a rather odd magical alcohol by the name of "Daedra Drink” that can render the imbiber invisible. Not sure who made this or where, bought a bottle of it from one of the inns I visited. Bit of an odd one.

Amulets of Birthsigns: A small collection of amulets found amongst several of Skyrim's standing stones that represent the various birthsigns. They seem to be enchanted in ways that match the signs' blessings. I might keep the Mage stone's amulet on me for the time being, it's not my sign but the enchantment is useful.

Amulets of the Nine: Amulets showing devotion to Arkay and Stendarr. Not to my taste in terms of gods, honestly. I don’t have time to worry about death and Stendarr’s devotees are completely overzealous in their pursuit of putting down Daedric cults.

Amulets of Ancient Nordic Make: I'm fairly certain these don't have to do with the Dragon Cult specifically, but they do match certain etchings in Dragon Cult barrows. Before the creation of the Dragon Cult there were cults dedicated to the veneration of these various other animals, so likely these were cultural holdovers from that brought into the Dragon Cult's beliefs.

Ancient Nordic Boots: Unfortunately this was the only armor I could salvage from Bleak Falls Barrow's draugr. The rest fell apart upon being removed or were fused to the undead cultists' skin. Still, a good find.

Ancient Nordic Weaponry: Fortunately (or not considering they were swinging them at Lucien and I) the weapons the draugrs were using were far more intact than their armor! Despite their age, these weapons retain much of their ornate embellishments. Nordic culture commonly adding embellishments to its weapons and armor seems to be a trait that has carried over the ages.

Art Pieces of Various Types, Style and Origins: This is a very broad category, but I simply don’t have much to say about the things within it. What can I really say about a fancy drinking horn, a wine glass made of emerald or a statuette of a sabrecat? Ugh, if my mother was here she could go on for hours about these things, I never did inherit the family’s mind for making or critiquing artwork. I suppose there’s one notable thing in this, a statuette of a dragon. Remarkably accurate given that dragons only recently came back, I’ll have to see if there’s any way of finding the original creator.

Backpacks, Various: Not sure why Auryen wanted these. Some of them have interesting enchantments I suppose.

Battleaxe of Hatred: Alright, the first (possibly of many) artifact I've collected! Not a very prolific one, though its status as such has been magically verified. Based on the records I could find of it in the museum's library, the earliest known appearance of this axe was at a store selling weapons and armor in the Imperial City around the time of the Oblivion Crisis. I'm not sure how a group of bandits came into possession of this item, though their proximity to Skyrim's border with Cyrodiil implies it likely came here via conventional means (aka being carried). The appearance of the weapon has changed from that of a Cyrodilic battle axe of that time period to modern Skyrim's style of battle axe, though the iron is now colored red as if stained with blood. Notably the enchantment has changed entirely, originally sapping one's vitality, it now creates a potent fear reaction in the people it strikes. Strong enough to send summoned entities back to their plane of Oblivion. Despite the name, it seems this axe has become somewhat pacifist, scaring people away rather than fighting them.  (Note: see if we can find out if The Fighting Chance still operates, they might have further information on where this weapon originally came from.)

Books, Various: A big batch of books that I’ve picked up for use in the museum’s library. A good chunk of these were donated from the Jarl of Whiterun’s own collection, generous man he is. I’ve skimmed through a few, but I didn’t have the time to sit down and read any during my travels. Not yet at least. There’s no way in Oblivion that I’ll be able to spend enough time to read through the entire library, but hopefully time will permit enough to read some of them. For now though a good few of these can make good reference material when researching new artifacts.

Capes and Cloaks, Various: Matching ones to be used in the various armor displays. Others are just ones I've collected because I quite like capes.

Cheeses of Various Kinds: Just a whole lot of cheese, both local and foreign varieties. Also a few cheese-based dishes. These aren’t for the museum, collecting these is a personal hobby. Don't ask why.

Dagger, Possibly From Oblivion: First off, I have no real proof of the claim of this dagger’s origin. It was told to me by the donator, the priest of Arkay that runs Whiterun’s hall of the dead. He did not explain where he acquired it from, however. The most notable thing about this dagger is its enchantment. It can trap souls, but unlike other enchanted items it does so without needing to ever be recharged. It is an oddly shaped dagger, having twin blades that curve towards each other. A design that seems remarkably inefficient, so along with the soul trapping enchantment, a ritualistic purpose seems likely. If I was to make a bet, this might’ve come to Whiterun during the Oblivion Crisis. Possibly being left there by cultists or Daedric invaders. Possibly an artifact, though that’s hard to prove without further knowledge on it.

Denstagmer's Ring: One of several artifact rings found on the body of an explorer at Silent Moons Camp. The exact origin of this ring is a total mystery, even the name “Denstagmer” brings up no leads whatsoever. The first notable records of its locations were when the Nerevarine found it a bit over 200 years ago in the Falas ancestral tomb in Vvardenfell, so it's possible that the family had a history with it. The last living Dwemer, Yagrum Bagarn, mentioned the ring in his book, Tamrielic Lore, though there wasn't much he could say about it. No changes to the ring’s enchantment or its appearance have been noted. Best guesses for how it made its way to Skyrim are either that a refugee from Morrowind or that this dead explorer, this Malrus fellow, must've been brought into the province.

Dolls, Enchanted: A pair of dolls, one a blacksmith and one an executioner. The both of them are enchanted to enhance skills relevant to the doll's occupation. Using a forge and wielding large weaponry respectively. Odd little things. Auryen mentioned he believes they're part of a larger set, which makes me wonder who made and distributed them.

Doll, Unenchanted: A completely unremarkable doll to be used in the enchanted doll display. I can’t say I like the look of this toy, it’s cute I suppose but the design is a bit lacking. Perhaps some tiny clothes could improve the look of it.

Dragonstone of Bleak Falls Barrow: A map of various dragon burial mounds throughout Skyrim carved into a stone tile. This must’ve been made in the late days of the Dragon Cult, after the (apparently temporary) defeat of Alduin. I'll have to visit these sites at some point! The actual artifact has been requested by the Jarl of Whiterun, so unfortunately the museum will have to make due with a replica. I don’t know why the Jarl’s court mage couldn’t just take a recreation of it, but I suppose this is going to be used for something tactical so he likely wants the information to be exact.

Dragon Claw Key, Golden: An interesting artifact of the Dragon Cult. They used ornate claw shaped keys like this to seal the innermost sanctums of their burial tombs, typically along with an ornate door locked with a puzzle. Some theorize that these keys function more as a way to lock whatever is on the other side of the door inside, however, due to Bleak Falls Barrow having an alternative exit to that chamber I feel that theory falls flat. The current owners of this key did not want to part with it, so the museum will have to make due with a replica.

Elven Style Armor, Modified: Elven armor previously owned by a member of a now disbanded gang of bandits called the Crimson Dirks. The armor itself seems like a more practical variant on Skyrim's normal style of elven armor, including leather sleeves and pouches.

Faeries (!!!!): FAIRIES! By the Hist, I don’t think I’ve ever actually met Fey before! What fascinatingly pretty little things they are! Specifically, these ones are Nixads, a small humanoid insect-like being with a pair of wings on their backs. Absolute joys to be around they are, pranksters though. One of them stole my pen while I was taking a break from writing earlier and it took me an hour to find the damned thing again. The little bastard was giggling the whole time, said they thought my break should be a little longer. Why exactly they are coming to the museum is an interesting point. There’s a superstition amongst Skyrim’s sailors and fishers that having a Fey with you is good luck, that you’ll either have safe travels or good hauls, respectively. This has led to a tradition of caging Fey in modified lanterns, as they also shed a small amount of light due to some sort of magical aura. The museum was only looking for the lanterns for an exhibit on that cultural practice, but upon letting these two out of their prisons and telling them about the museum, they seem to have found the idea of coming here interesting. I’ve spoken with Auryen and after discussing it, we’ve decided to make a space for them in the Natural History Hall. They’re free to leave if they wish, but we’ll give them safety, food and a space for themselves if they want to stay. Plus, it gives us a chance to educate people on Tamerials’ Faeries on those Fey’s own terms! Side note, as an unfortunate side effect of the Nordic superstitions around them, I have found a Fairy’s corpse in the wreck of a sunken ship in Lake Ilinalta. We’ll ask the other Fay how they should be given a burial.

Fish, Various: To be added to the Natural Science Hall's aquarium. Side note, I can see why some people enjoy fishing, it's quite relaxing. I might have to participate in it more.

Fishing Equipment: Not sure why this was asked for, to be honest. Fuck it though, if Auryen wants a fishing pole I’ll get him a fishing pole. He’s the one paying me.

Fossils, Various: Found while digging through a few veins of ore found throughout Skyrim's landscape. A record of Skyrim’s history set into stone. None of these ones are too interesting by themselves from what I understand, though one depicts a fish eating another one, which is somewhat rare I think.

Gauntlets Made for Fist Fighting: An eccentric customization of the usual styles of armor in Skyrim. Probably better to use than a normal set of gauntlets given they are just as sturdy and can still hold an enchantment just as well. I will be honest though, I can’t imagine myself actually resorting to punching someone. Close ranged spells are far more effective.

Guard’s Armor (Whiterun and Falkreath): Donated by the Jarls of those two holds. Nothing too interesting here but I felt they were meaningfully different enough from the other sets of armor to justify their own entry. Hopefully I can get sets of armor from every hold as easily as these two.

Gemstones and Minerals, Various: These are being collected for a large display of Skyrim's various minerals within the Natural Science Hall. This is not my area of expertise, though they are very pleasantly shiny.

Lunar Weapons: A unique set of weapons made at an ancient ruin called Sleeping Moons Camp. The forge seems to channel some sort of power from the two moons to enchant what would normally be mundane weapons. What a unique ruin it is! The forge itself seemed like a recent addition and the bandits around the ruins did as well. However, despite the book near the forge documenting the creation of these weapons and the presence of those weapons as proof that it does work, I find myself unable to actually make this thing work. I’m unsure as to why. This place requires further investigation.

Magical Oil Lamp: An oil lamp that seems to contain some sort of entity that grants minor boons upon request. Doesn't seem to want to leave the lamp, nor does it seek payment. Not sure what exactly the entity is, though I feel it's unlikely for it to be a Daedra. Honestly it is fully possible that it isn’t inhabited at all and the entity itself is just a trick made up through a bit of enchantment. I asked it for "Knowledge" and it gave me a pile of books, useful little thing. A donation from Solitude's Temple of the Divines.

Magical jars: A small group of magically sealed jars with what seem to be enchanted toys inside. Things like a tiny ship or flying dragon. Odd little things these are. Not sure who made them or where they all came from, but the common design of the jar itself implies a singular source. An oddity that hopefully will be figured about eventually, but isn’t too much of a priority.

Mundane Weapons and Armor of Various Styles: Primarily these are made of iron or steel, though a few other kinds are in this pile. There's something to be said of the ornate style that the Nords of Skyrim add to even their most mundane armors. I quite like the horns they add to their helmets, perhaps out of my own vanity. My horns are quite nice and honestly I should say that more often. Preening aside, I quite like the steel armors I've seen. There are a few more notable examples amongst this list, those will get their own entries.

Orcish Style Armor, Modified: Another set of armor from that aforementioned disbanded bandit gang. Apparently this one was made by the gang’s resident smith, who had fallen in with another gang after the group split up, though she seemed to dislike her current circumstances. This set of armor was, once again, modified from the normal style. Replacing some of the orichalcum metal with leather and fur, seemingly to keep the wearer warmer in Skyrim’s cold climate.

Raven Statuette Made of Ebony: At a glance this seems mundane, but this seems to have some connection to Daedra worship. I couldn’t sense any actual enchantments on it, but something about it feels just slightly odd. I know that’s not exactly a professional way to see these kinds of things, but that’s just the way I feel about it. I’ll ask a few others what they think of this statuette before I turn it in though, just to make sure. My first instinct is to assume it was made to honor Nocturnal, though ravens and ebony aren't symbols unique to her. It would be a perfect fit for Ebonarm, while his animosity for the Daedric Princes is well known it’s not exactly known for sure where he falls amongst the pantheons so this could have been made in honor of him.

Reconstructed Tapestry of Ancient Nordic Design: I was able to recreate this from fragments found within Bleak Falls Barrow (I need to find a shortening of that name). It's remarkable that the fabric stayed mostly intact over the centuries.

Ring of Transmutation: Another of the artifact rings found alongside the body of the explorer, Malrus. This one is less historied than the other though, similar to Battleaxe of Hatred it made its first known appearance in Cyrodilic store during the Oblivion Crisis, specifically one in Bravil. No major changes, though the gemstone set in the ring is larger than previously recorded. No known history before that time, similar to the battleaxe. I'll have to see if the store it was recorded as being in, The Warlock's Luck, is still around so we might be able to check their records. As for how it got here, the explorer Malrus is the most likely reason that I can think of.

Severed heads: What? Who made these little display cases for these severed heads? Why have I found several of them? Why did Auryen ask for them?

Shells and Corals: Another collection of things for the Natural History hall. Nothing much to say here, though the fact that I found coral in the stomachs of a group of slaughterfish in Lake Ilinalta is probably odd. Once again, not my area of expertise, but I'm fairly certain coral doesn't naturally occur in freshwater. Do slaughterfish swim upriver like salmon? I suppose their presence in both fresh and saltwater implies so.

Taxidermy Supplies: Various animal hides and other bits and pieces to be used in to make some taxidermied animals to display in the Natural History Hall. Auryen is pretty skilled at making taxidermy, I wonder where he learned it.

Varla Stone, Flawed: One of the Ayleids’ star stones, a small fragment of Aetherius itself fallen from the heavens down to Mundus. These minor magical miracles that were used for, of all things, lighting a room. I’ve been in a couple Ayleid ruins and honestly I do have to admit that the light from these is certainly very pleasing. Perhaps the wild elves had a decent idea there after all. This specific stone is a bit clouded, making it not as useful as a more perfect specimen, but that’s not to say it isn’t useful, these little things are perfectly capable of containing and releasing souls, for example.

Weatherward Circlet: Another artifact ring, though this one was a donation from Whiterun's hall of the dead. How did that crypt manage to come across two separate artifacts? I suppose this ring might have just been on one of the deceased and no next of kin claimed it. As for the ring's history, it isn't the most storied but it was owned by the Hero of Kvatch! Apparently she had been given it as payment for a job, the exact details aren't recorded so I assume it must have been something someone didn't want known. Interesting, though that unfortunately means that researching its origin is likely a dead end. As for appearance and enchantments, there doesn't seem to be any recorded change.

Welkynd Stone: As with the previous entry on varla stones, but much more powerful. These things were used all over Ayleid cities of the past for all sorts of purposes, not just lighting. In the modern day these things are amazing tools for magecraft. A magically inclined individual can draw upon the power within one of these and be filled to the brim with magicka. A shame that the method of growing these was lost with the Ayleid civilization, the feats of magecraft that could be accomplished with a large amount of these would be incredible.

Whiterun silver proof coin: For a display on Tamriel's various currencies. Look, I am not a numismatist, I have very little room in my head to be interested about coins. They are shiny and can be spent to acquire nice things, that's about the end of my thoughts on any coins minted in the last half millennia. I suppose this one has a nice design, very swirly and pleasing to the eye. Definitely nicer than a septim.

[kiri-instinct]

I sometimes wonder if the defense of Israel would have been as fierce as it is now if their enemies had been white people.

I was thinking about recent happenings and remembered a news report I saw. I believe it was from an American channel. The reporter was talking about the Russian invasion of Ukraine, and how it caused thousands of Ukrainians to flee west, fearing for their lives.

It was the usual stuff for the time. How this was a tragedy, and how Russia should be held accountable. That sort of thing. All very true, of course.

But I remember something that stuck with me from that news report. It hit me like a freight train when I heard it. Maybe the news reporter had a slip of the tongue. Maybe he genuinely thought what he said was not fucking horrific.

"These are prosperous, middle class people. These are not people trying to get away from areas in North Africa."

Not people trying to get away from areas in North Africa. A lot of other, similar things were said at the time. I distinctly remember these:

"This is not a developing, 3rd world nation. This is EUROPE."

"This isn't a place, with all due respect, y'know, like Iran or Afghanistan. This is a relatively CIVILIZED, relatively EUROPEAN, and I have to choose those words carefully, too, city where you wouldn't expect that or hope that it is going to happen."

A lot of words to emphasize one thing: This is happening in a civilized nation, not like the ones in Africa, the '3rd world' or, God forbid, the Middle East. EUROPE is a civilized land, unlike them, the fact this is happening HERE at all is simply unfathomable!

Obviously, a lot of people criticized these wordings for their obvious racism. The idea that Europe and Europe alone was civilized, and that these nations, stuck in conflict thanks to borders we decided for them, are unwashed, barbaric hordes is just...obviously bigoted and, more importantly, wrong.

Then, Israel began its full-scale invasion of Palestine, starting off with declarations that even Russia dared not make. Yes, Russia's accusation that Ukraine was a Nazi state, or that it was somehow 'de-nazifying' it while its soldiers carried reactionary iconography, was obviously bad (and hypocritical). However, compared to Israel's government starting off by announcing clear intentions to level Gaza, that its soldiers were fighting "human animals," and that even the civilians of Gaza were to blame was far worse, and made Russia's blatant hypocrisy, lying and evil seem...tame, almost.

So, that's it. Israel invades Palestine with obvious malevolent intent, the world condemns Israel and we put together whatever we can to defend Palestine.

Except that never happened. Everyone rallied behind Israel. Joe Biden, with the same casual tone as you'd ask for a tenner, asked if he could trade weapons to Israel in complete secrecy. People were arrested en-masse for protesting against Israel bombing civilian holdings, refugee camps and hospitals. The US vetoed a motion against Israel as Israel violated the Geneva Convention over, and over, and over again.

I myself remember my bewilderment. I sent over clothes, hoping to help in any way I can, even relinquishing some clothes which had sentimental value, only to find out that it may be possible that my donations would never make it, as Israel began bombing the Lebanese border, and blockaded the Gaza Strip.

One day, I chose to skip school, not telling my mother, and went to a protest, hoping that my voice would do something, anything, to help. That same day, someone on TV called me and others like me agitators. Said we were stirring up antisemitism within our local communities.

Some time after that, my grandmother pulled me aside, having already guessed that I was on the side of Palestine, and warned me: The place I live in is massively pro-Israel, with many of my neighbors having chanted "Death to Arabs!" despite us having Arabic neighbors, according to her. If someone here were to find out I am pro-Palestine, I could risk social pariah status, and become unable to do anything. Simply because I support the rights of Arabic folk to live in peace.

My mind was clouded for a few days. The effort I could put in to help Palestine within my limits...was antisemitic? I was agitating people? We were evil for even daring to suggest this was a genocide? I could not wrap my head around it, then I remembered the words of those reporters talking about Ukraine.

"Not people escaping North Africa," "civilized, unlike Iran and Afghanistan," and "not a developing 3rd world country, but Europe".

The same message, but delivered in different ways: Those who are not in the West are uncivilized, brutal folk, not to be trusted. Tragedy falling upon them is expected, or, perhaps, welcomed.

Combined with the fact that Israel previously attempted to destroy local fauna in an attempt to appear more European, the realization hit me.

Israel is getting so much support because the West believes them to be "European enough" to get their neo-imperialist excuses. Israel is not the 'only democracy in the Middle East,' not really -- believe me, I have gone and voted in elections before. I have seen political rallies, and I have witnessed the same drama the average US voter witnesses. I live in a democracy, even if I do not live under a government I approve of.

Israel is simply the West's personal guy in the Middle East, hence the claim that it is the only democracy here. Really, it is just the only democracy they all approve of, rather than being the most legitimate one.

When government officials turn a blind eye to Zionists calling for the conquest of not only Palestine, but also Lebanon and Egypt, and when they censure their fellow politicians for saying, maybe, not every single Palestinian should die over a terrorist attack, they are not doing it because they sincerely believe Israel is the victim here, or because "right to defend oneself" is something that applies here -- they do it because Israel is white and Western enough for them to see as a worthwhile ally. To them, Palestine is little more than a shitty bunch of Arabs who can easily be discarded if their personal attack dog in the Levant gets to survive just one day longer and maintain their influence there.

Not even when the US was fighting the Nazis in WW2 did we think that killing German civilians was acceptable. Nor was "All of them" a proper, reasonable and POPULAR response to someone asking "How many must die before we have peace". But...these aren't good, civilized Europeans. These are Palestinians. ARABS! If their ethnic cleansing can result in our civilized Jewish friends in Israel liking us more and becoming more powerful, who cares if the entire Palestinian identity is extinguished?

So, I ask again: If Israel were to go up against a 'civilized' western, European and white nation, like say France, or Britain, or Germany, and genocide their peoples while they could do very little about it...would the response have been the same? Would US come to condemn any of those countries for faking death tolls or lie about seeing the Bundeswehr decapitating Israeli babies? Would people be arrested in France for demanding a ceasefire between Israel and Britain?

Given all that I have said, I do not think so. If any of those nations were to be attacked, Israel would be treated as Russia were -- depicted as barbarians, and told that their war was unjust and cruel. We'd have people on the news saying that this isn't North Africa, or Iran, and that no one'd expect Israel to do something so cruel to a fellow civilized nation.

But that is not happening. Israel's target for genocide, Palestinians, are, by all means, acceptable targets for the Western world. In the name of peace and global unity, they will pile high the bodies of anyone their fellow 'civilized nations' want dead.

But we cannot let them do that. We must scream, from rooftops if need be, that we will not stand for injustice. So, even if you feel hopeless and desolate in the face of great evil, do your best. Even the most minuscule action matters, because when a lot of little things come together, they can topple even the mightiest of giants.

From river to sea, Palestine shall be free. And don't you let them convince you otherwise.

[gregoftom]

Curious to hear how you headcanon Greg's backstory. We see very little of his backstory in the show. Do you think they (Marianne and Greg) had a lot of money because of Ewan or not? Did Greg go to private schools growing up? How was his childhood? Did he drop out of university? Did he have any friends growing up?

Suddenly I am thinking of a young Greg

ouuuuhhhh!!! good questionnnn. we DO and it's so fucking sad, actually there is a deleted scene from season 4, episode 9 that i will NEVER fucking forgive them for cutting, because it's so good. it offers a LOT of insight into his and ewan's history and backstory. there was definitely a lot of deprivation and abuse from ewan to greg so like, there's that. that's something [also interestingly, ewan wrote something on greg's forehead as punishment, whereas tom kisses greg on his forehead, something something sealing it over with a sign of acceptance and love instead of punishment and rejection.] wrt marianne and greg i think like... they weren't, like, poor, or anything, but i don't think they were particularly rich. they got by. it seems that marianne doesn't really, like she doesn't appear to be in employment at the time of the beginning of the show, she's usually in bed with stuff around her, so i think greg is sort of like, it's up to him to make the money, you know? and i feel like it's probably been that way for some time. i feel like he had to grow up too fast, he had to look after others since he was young, and has had this... like, fear, built into him, that if he doesn't, everything will go wrong. and that, he can't depend on anyone to look out for him, because he has to look out for himself, and other people, and that's just how it works. his childhood i think was. not that great personally, sadly. private school... i don't think so. ewan was a very strict man wrt money and had this very "you have to earn it" boomer attitude, despite the fact that this made him a massive hypocrite seeing as he was living in a nice house and enjoying the comforts of money himself, lol. but anyway. i think it was impossible to ever meet his standards so marianne and by extension greg ended up getting cut off constantly. uni i think he dropped out of, yeah. he did average, i think. you know, passable grades. and then dropped out at a point. friends growing up, probably? most likely? he's personable, i think he can make friends quickly and easily, but i don't think it lasts. short and sweet and wee woo abandonment issues that get re-ingrained into him repeatedly and all that kinda stuff.

[ochrearia]

Can't let myself overthink about numbers too much I need to hold on to the idea that not everyone will vibe with how I personalize my internet experience and that doesn't mean I'm a bad person and I should be allowed to exist on my own blog the way I want oughjufhgjh

I am actually a massive hypocrite because I will tell this to my friends with the utmost confidence and then not at all believe it for myself. Me n Pico. stupid creatures ruled by fear

[just-antithings]

[warning for suicide, death threats, etc]

I'm really irritated by people who try to claim they're "above anti/proship discourse". They act like they're so high and mighty, they act like they're somehow better. Especially when they say they care about stopping censorship.

All of those "Not anti or proship, but a third secret thing (adult with a job)" jokes deeply misunderstand the issue. Not just because they think "it's stupid internet things" (I mean, hello, the cookie needles thing? The number of actual death threats sent?), but also because a lot of the people who are in this debate are adults with jobs. And they treat all of this discourse with such disdain, as if it hasn't hurt anyone. Ignoring the above mentioned examples, I personally knew someone who committed suicide because of all the harassment they got over being proship.

It feels disingenuous for them to act like they're above any of this. It feels personally painful and incredibly ignorant to treat this as if it were just a silly internet disagreement. A lot of these people who treat the discourse like this would probably count as proship, but even then, I know I can't trust them: if they're treating real issues that affect real people as if they're unimportant and not worth thinking about, if they're implying that it's just kids fighting over this, if they're acting like none of this matters, then I know that they probably would just brush off the massive amount of censorship that's being pushed for by antis.

And the worst part (for me) is, the bloggers I enjoy who say this also try and say they care about ending censorship, meanwhile they're ignoring a massive movement to enact censorship on the basis of "It's just fake internet discourse, who cares about it anyway?"

It's hypocritical, and I trust them almost less than I trust antis, because at least I know what to expect with antis. Because at least antis are (usually) upfront and loud about their ideology, and I know I cannot trust them automatically. But with the people who act like anti/proship discourse doesn't matter, all I know is that I thought they could potentially be trustworthy, only to be shown to brush off the concerns and fears of people trying to protect one of the few safe spaces there are out here.

(Not to mention how the "Antis and proshippers are both way too radical and both are dumb, so I'm staying in the middle and doing nothing" sounds a lot like a recycled version of "The far right and far left are both way too radical and both are dumb, so I'm staying in the middle and doing nothing". Am I the only one who's noticed that? Especially since antis parrot a lot of the same censorship ideals revered by the far right, just dressed up in woke language...)

👆👆👆👆

[negative-speedforce]

Important plot stuff

"I read the files." Siv's voice was flat, lip curled in a mix of disgust, rage, and anguish. She gripped a knife in her left hand, knuckles white. "How many came before me?"

"You're the ninth." Eobard replied. "The first four's life spans were measured in hours, or minutes. The seventh died in a fire, and the other three all turned against me, like you did. I eliminated them as soon as I knew."

Siv's eyes widened in shock. "Eight innocent children? Eight of... me, gone, because you thought you could play god? How fucked up is that?"

Eobard grabbed Siv's arm. "Enough about that. With your power and mine, we could be... father and child, all-powerful, with everything you ever wanted. Don't you want that?"

"No! Back off. You don't love me!" Siv ripped her arm from Eobard's grasp. "You love your work. You never gave a single shit about me as a person, or Esme, or anyone else."

"Sivonne-"

"You told me stories of a life, of a mother! Now, I'm supposed to keep going, knowing I didn't even exist before I was four? Knowing that I'm just some kind of... monster that you made on a whim?" Siv punched the wall, a small dent forming from her fist. "How long was I supposed to survive, Dad? What was your end game?"

"That doesn't matter anymore, because clearly, it failed." Eobard scoffed. "You had a destiny. You were supposed to be something great- my legacy. But you rejected that out of petty, immature loyalty to that girl who's been dead for years. You call me obsessive for chasing Allen? You're such a hypocrite."

Siv ignored Eobard's jab. "Am... Am I real?"

"What?"

"Am I real, Dad?" Siv's voice was shaky, her eyes wide with fear. "Please, just tell me that I'm real. That I'm not just some concept that you created. Please. Just tell me I'm a person."

"No."

Siv started shaking, her grip on the blade loosening, the knife falling to the ground with a sharp metallic clang. Everything was too much, too loud, too bright. She wanted to run, but her feet felt glued to the floor. Her chest was tight, and nonexistent hands clenched her heart, making it feel as if it was about to implode.

She fell to her knees, clutching her chest, hyperventilating, nearly blind from the tears leaking from her eyes. Everything had been a lie. Of course, she knew that, all things considered, but this made it all feel so real. Her childhood, her mother-

Eobard smirked, vibrating his hand menacingly. "Maybe Ten won't be such a failure."

"Back the fuck off." Eobard heard from behind him. The person standing there was tall, with honey blonde wavy hair and eyes that were glowing a brilliant amber.

"Who are you again?"

"The name's Ember." They replied. "Now back off. I'm not letting you kill my employee."

"You won't have a chance."

"Really?" Ember cocked her head, as a massive amber crystal shot out of the ground, launching Eobard into the air. "Overconfident bastard." He touched Siv's shoulder gently. "Hey. Hey, it's me. You gotta get up. We need to go, before that dickhead shakes that one off."

"How-" Siv coughed. "-how high did you launch him?"

"It had to be out the ceiling and at least thirty feet." Ember replied. "Come on. Let's get to the car."

Ember helped Siv get to the car, his employee still dazed, shaking and breathing heavily. She hadn't heard their conversation, they only saw the aftermath of it, but obviously, it had shaken Siv up so severely that she seemed to be trapped in her own mind, unable to see straight enough to climb into the passenger seat of Ember's SUV.

Once Ember had wrangled her into his car, they started up the engine, taking off as fast as the car could take them.

"You okay?" Ember raised an eyebrow, looking over at Siv. Siv shook her head.

"I'm..." Siv trailed off. "I'm not real. I'm not human."

"Yeah, I think you not being human was established when you managed to beat up six gangsters, all of which were twice your size, with that level of speed and ferocity."

"You knew?"

"Yeah, of course I did." Ember replied. "Like recognizes like. I got fucked in the Accelerator incident too. So did, like, a quarter of Central City's population."

"No, not like that." Siv shook her head. "I'm not real. I'm not human. I never was human."

"So you're like that National City alien chick? Super-Duper-Girl?"

"No, no." Siv stammered. "I can't explain it right now."

Ember nodded. "I understand. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here. I know I'm just your boss, but I feel somewhat protective of you, y'know, as what you kids call an 'Elder Gay'."

"Thanks. I guess."

Ember drove Siv back to her apartment (which he was fairly certain her employee was living in illegally, due to the big red "condemned" sign on it, but that was neither here nor there). They looped her arms around Siv's, helping her out of the car and up the stairs to the apartment.

"The porch light." Siv mumbled, reaching up to grab a key that was stashed up there. However, her hand was far too shaky to place the key in the lock, something which Ember was happy to help with.

"Are you sure you're safe here?" Ember asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure. He'd never bother checking this dump." Siv stepped inside, and immediately, from her glimpse of the front room, Ember pitied their employee. The carpet was stained and falling apart, the floor and ceiling were sagging, and rather than having a functioning cooking area, a salvaged lawn table with a plugged-in burner sat next to the ancient-looking refrigerator.

"Do you want me to stay? I can, if you need me to. I don't have a show until eight tonight."

"It's fine." Siv opened the door for Ember, letting her back outside. "I'll be fine. Just go, please."

"Okay. Call me if anything comes up."

"I will."

[clay-cuttlefish]

Into Infinite Frontier. It's bad in here.

The Next Batman: Second Son

I really don't like the direction this takes Renee, it's a nasty piece of character regression, but I like Jace and the Fox family drama enough that it's not too bad of a time.

Jace gets deadnamed constantly. He's not trans, but he's repeatedly referred to by his birth name in order to upset him and because his family won't make an effort/think he's making a big deal out of nothing, so...

It starts almost promising, like Renee's seriously considering if she's willing to put herself back into policing to prevent whoever else might become the Commissioner from doing something worse, but nope. She's just On Board With Cop Shit again.

Sure, she's ~conflicted~ about being the Commissioner, but it always feels like either a worse version of how she developed in Gotham Central or like a completely different character wearing her face.

Hadiyah my friend Hadiyah. She hasn't had much room to breathe, but I have a lot of thoughts about how she could develop, ideally once Renee gets her development back.

Batman #107-110

It's frustrating. This is meant to be a rough patch for her, Bruce tells her not to forget how to ask the right questions and she's obviously conflicted, but that never gets developed properly. She just gets More Cop about it.

It hasn't actually been that long, but two years where she's regularly showing up and it sucks feels a lot worse than two years mostly offscreen.

DC Pride 2021

I wish I lived in a world where this story had an impact on canon. A former defence attorney turned city councilwoman is exactly the kind of love interest who could anchor a longer Question story.

I Am Batman #0

Hi Hadiyah <333

Justice League #68-71

Genuinely what the hell is Vic's job in Checkmate, other than Oliver Queen nepo hire.

He talks but he's barely a character. Literally just hanging out.

I Am Batman #2

This is the moment where Renee goes from "a bad job at following up on her character development being restored" to a full on "she would not fucking say that".

Fear State

God it's just so frustrating. I don't know what else to say. It's frustrating and miserable.

"You don't know how to turn the clock back, and you're too afraid to let it tick forward." Scarecrow means this as a criticism of Renee the person, but I think it's a better criticism of the writers. She had a way forward, she had connections and places to go, but no.

I Am Batman #4-5

I Am Batman is at its best when it's doing soap opera drama. The cop shit sucks, the action scenes are solid but not super notable, I am here for the Fox family imploding while Jace rams headfirst into danger.

This is an unhinged sentence but I wish Lucius had spent more time conflicted about saving his kid? He's a massive hypocrite when it comes to Jace, so I buy that he'd be quick to pivot from going along with murder to backing Jace's efforts, but it's so quick.

I Am Batman #6-10

I like the angle that Jace is a city employee a lot. He lives in a world where Gotham nearly implodes constantly, every spy agency in the world turned evil a couple years ago and it hasn't been fixed yet, and the multiverse is real and frequently in danger, so fuck it superheroics are legal.

Look, I get what they're going for with Strike Force Bat, but the ragtag group of unpopular cops worked for Gotham Central because they were all decent people (by cop show standards).

Hadiyah's been doing the thing where she drops the word Question into every appearance so far, but it's particularly obvious here.

Honestly the thing that keeps me from being completely sold on Hadiyah (aside from how bad the handoff is) is that she's already good at Question things. She's reflective, good at investigation, aware of her relationships and how they affect her, etc, which means there's less room for her to grow and find meaning. I think there are a lot of good angles for how wearing the mask will change her, but I'm not sure the story has one yet.

[the-evil-twin]

But as hilarious as this is, bear in mind that this is still the King James who sanctioned the witch trials with a deeply disturbing obsessive fervor, despite his own personal fear of violent death - let alone the hypocrite who publicly was a massive violent homophobe until his death and imposed harsh punishments against all subjects who participated in sodomy, despite secretly being homosexual himself.  He was still a genocidal tyrant who is responsible for the suffering and deaths of hundreds and hundreds of people. 

Please don’t paint him out to be nothing more than just a misunderstood sassy romantic homosexual, I am begging you. 

This is the greatest progression of events I have ever read, where’s my historical gay romance novel about this

[collymore]

What is it King Consort Charles? Guilt or the daunting fear of thieves and murderers not trusting each other?

By Stanley Collymore Give over will you, you fatuous sycophantic morons! A risibly supposed, love-matched duo who even after Diana’s untimely death, that they occasioned, and subsequent to their own marriage together exactly 18 years in total, literally still not living with each other! Sure! Let’s face really hard and undiluted facts! Camilla was and still is a keen hard drinking, chain smoking, quite knowlegeable woman, of the world; as she characteristically quite distinctively was when she first started seeing Charles. Diana though very significantly and also effectively in marked contrast who Charles was actually, by the immediate members of his family forced to marry as they had unquestionably, and predictably quite hypocritically rejected Camilla notwithstanding their own, immoral lives, distinctly due to her notorious   lascivious reputation, clearly aware that Diana was a vulnerable and an indisputably naïve 19 years old girl. So essentially, Camilla now stands on the bones of a once gorgeously beautiful woman whose death she caused together with Charles; and like him was greatly and gratefully relieved, when Diana actually died. Therefore, should someone like myself, enforcedly British born but ethnically and saliently culturally, despite my intensive British background, a thoroughly mentally liberated Bajan, precisely like all my fellow Barbadians, with a distinctive, very staunch, impeccable, and likewise an implacable, moral conscience; just because we’re similarly so voluntarily members, of this Commonwealth of Nations and effectively additionally in Barbados’ case, pertinently also the wealthy realm, whose profuse   blood, sweat and tears, obviously and undeniably were themselves   largely amplified by our massive financial wealth transforming in excess of four centuries a once effectively backwater, offshore, European island, named Britain into the global empire it clearly quite ruthlessly, so genocidally and barbarically, then became. Consequently, very thoroughly   indelibly, and fundamentally characteristically, actually and morally steeped, as I undoubtedly quite obviously assuredly am relative to our very intrinsically ethical, Bajan principles, how could I then possibly or expediently overlook them; much less so idiotically and hypocritically also, pretend otherwise than what I essentially am by quite egregiously foreswearing those said principles, which encompass, and distinguish my very life? Basically, to celebrate a most terribly expensive, taxpayer funded coronation: this, in spite of   those personal, billions of Pounds Sterling that Charles and similarly too, an extended privileged family   impudently tax-free have hoarded away, yet didn’t cough up a single penny relative to their own prized money stash for this distinctively unnecessarily, undoubtedly quite   expensive vainglorious jamboree ostentatiously very spectacularly obviously for the 'Queen' Camilla Parker Bowles: also indisputably her favourably prioritized family; and pertinently keeping with the new order of things Charles too, whose coronation it undeniably ought to have been pathetically present to pay his obeisance to Britain's evil calculating Queen! Nothing obviously, remotely on offer from me; nor would there ever likely to have been or ever distinctly will, from my cultural Bajan or British citizenship too perspectives to a murderously adulterous ignoble pretension. (C) Stanley V. Collymore 21 May 2023. Author's Remark: It’s virtually impossible for a country like Britain that despite the countless millennia that have unquestionably demarcated the differences in gender between the identical species, have serious problems actually recognizing and likewise accepting this demarcation, even when the specific functions of both are evidently delineated. Frankly, the bulk of the British people and their globally genocidally, convict inured and multifariously barbaric kin are a fucking joke; and as such it’s best to leave them to themselves, for as night follows day they’ll eventually destroy themselves, and with a positive outlook for the rest of the world that can’t come soon enough! How any set of people can be so bloody stupid, accept information doled out to them that's obviously blatant lies, never bother to check it, accept it unthinkingly and literally adjust their already pathetic lives to accommodate the crap they've been malevolently and likewise clearly avariciously and financially been fed and not suss out they're being used and quite perniciously so is totally beyond any kind of rational comprehension. And the really ludicrous and stark irony in all of this, is that these intellectually challenged, quite dimwitted, incredibly gullible, absolutely toxically verminous scum go around with their multitude of bastards who glaringly, most pathetically themselves don't for the most part don't even know who their own biological fathers are and significantly too likewise neither do most of their biological mothers, not only have the sheer audacity to show horn Harry, Meghan and their own children into every bloody click bait Daily Mail story released to them and whether it has any relevance or even mention in it relative to Meghan and Harry - so utterly compulsively obsessed are these sad losers in life!   Yet the inured fawning to their risibly monarchical: Queen Camilla and King Consort Charles, as well as other quite obviously hereditarily perceived social betters that their deeply class entrenched classism envelopes them in aside, further delude themselves that they're all of them quite irrefutably members of this pathetically insane white master race. Dream on controlled losers!

[escape-rock-bottom]

"DON'T BUG ME!": Another Reason Why I Avoid Approaching People

I’ve talked about my previous resistance to approaching new people in the past, but I felt I should dedicate a post to this specific concept. My fear of rejection isn’t the only thing holding me back. A certain wide-spread yet innocuous quip is another major factor.

How many times have you heard someone complain about how much they hate when someone bothers them when all they want to do is engage in their own world? How often have you made a joke about how you see someone walk in and you beg that they don’t try to speak to you? How about the times you’ve seen those quirky, edgy shirts with some form of “don’t bug me” plastered in massive block letters people often wear as a sort of half-joke?

I know I have, many many times. Like a record on repeat, I hear the same exact thing but packaged in a variety of different ways: “DON’T BUG ME.” While it’s not apparent what problem I could have with this statement, the inherent message I get from it is “Leave me alone, you are irritating me with your existence.”

That may seem like a leap, but I don’t think it’s much of one. Realistically, it’s what the phrase literally means. You can imagine what thinking you’re being told you’re bothering someone by approaching them does to someone who’s an anxious, people-pleaser type: You learn to fear doing so in hopes you won’t bother others.

The glaring problem here is that avoiding people = not socializing and waiting on others to approach first. Like opportunities, good relationships don’t often just drop themselves in your lap, ready to go. You have to seek and build them, and you will have to take just as much risk and effort as others do to do so.

Thinking about it, I can’t say that my interpretation of “Don’t bug me” is 100% accurate. I’d be a huge hypocrite if I were to say I never do or think the same in regards to other people. While I only know the reasons behind why I and a select few other people spew this message (thanks to asking them), I feel its enough to make a sound observation:

I’m overthinking it and misconstruing the message. Yes, there’s a good few people out there who 100% mean they want to be left alone 24/7, but the amount of people like that is possibly extremely small. The rest of society seems to use “Don’t bug me” in ways I initially didn’t consider.

Here’s what they may actually be saying:

“I’m busy right now, please don’t interrupt me.”

”I’m not in a good mood/mindset. I know I will react negatively if I am approached right now, please give me space.”

”I’m socially anxious. I do want interaction, but it causes me great distress when I’m ‘put on the spot’. However, I’d much rather NOT be alone”

“Please don’t just approach me to get something out of me. It’s happened far too often.”

”It’s just a silly phrase. I’m actually really social but I have a strange sense of humor”

”I’m in a current period of distress. Everything sucks, I suck, the world sucks, need I go on?”

”Everyone else is saying it.”

Rarely does the reason actually align with you in particular being the subject of their annoyance. It’s the situation happening at an unexpected or inconvenient time, or a need to set a boundary.

It’s not a bad thing to set boundaries. If someone sets boundaries against you, it's not rejection but rather protection. I get self conscious about something that isn’t even about me in particular, but rather a complex set of circumstances. It's a waste of time, opportunity, and energy to interpret the message the way I do.

I know I’m going to have to reframe how I interpret people’s messages. I can be far too literal (yay, weird neurology!) and people’s messages hold meanings and emotions that often complicate it far more than what’s seen at face value. In essence, when the phrase is used, people appreciate being approached and mean it as a joke, or are just occupied or in a bad mood.

In summary, to whoever needs to hear it: Stop overthinking it and don’t take it personally. Your fears that you are a source of frustration are often not reality. If you get turned away with an “I’m busy can we talk later?” or receive a short response, it doesn’t mean this is a sign to not try ever again. It’s merely the other person communicating and not an attack on you personally.

I understand it’s hard to face rejection socially for some people, but it becomes easier when you detach yourself from it: 

You’re not being rejected, the proposition of an interaction at that specific moment is being rejected. 

A boundary is being set. 

The person is expressing their unwillingness to move forward in a relationship. 

A subtle effort to reschedule the interaction is being made. 

People are not unlimited in their availability and attention so an unanswered message or approach is bound to happen. 

Just keep trying, and learn to face your fear. Your future self will thank you.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 8

“Hook Man”

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes? Maybe it’s because I’m in my 30s and am far removed from my college days, but why are we having a pre-date under a bridge? Don’t one of you have a room of your own (or at least one you can sexile a roommate from) where you can do this and NOT GET MURDERED? Anyway, I’m skittish enough to have driven away at the first creepy sound. I would not have waited til the second, or for my date to get out of the car. Since I think i took back my L from yesterday, I’m back to a perfect 7/7

I think I’m gonna try to call it now: neither Winchester will hook up with anyone in this episode. I don’t care that it’s a college campus and Sam is college age and Dean’s 26. Dean will, at most, make some remark about co-eds, but will not actually go after any girl who tries to flirt with him. If one does, he’ll just use it as a very sibling-ish weapon against Sam. That’s my prediction.

There’s a kid painting himself purple, and my first thought was “ah, a Dabi cosplayer”

Well, my prediction seems to be slightly off. Seems the girl from the first five minutes is eyeing Sam.

The type of dialogue that happens between a church’s pastor and his teenage daughter in a show or movie is always the same. This guy is like if you took the guy from Footloose and the dad from 10 Things I Hate About You and made a character from that. Although, when Laurie said that there are 23 other girls living in her sorority and her dad said that that’s what he was worried about because he knows what happens when that many women live together, I really thought his fear was gonna be something less basic than “drinking and partying with that roommate of yours”

Aw, damn, it got the roommate, too??

Okay, I DID call Dean making some gross comment about college girls!! But that was the lowest hanging fruit. It was basically in my hand as I passed by. I didn’t work for it at all.

AND AND AND, I called Dean not REALLY giving the college girls his actual attention. He talks a big game but when it comes down to it, nothing. What I’m saying is I could have written for Dean.

OH. HE IS NOT LIKE THE GUY FROM FOOTLOOSE PLUS THE 10 THINGS DAD. HE’S WORSE. Because on top of trying to control his daughter’s life by keeping her the “purest pure” person ever (purest pure is a hue Anish Kapoor is not allowed to use), he’s also a massive hypocrite, and that’s why the hook man has come to town

I realize I never really talk about them defeating the monster of the week...and that’s probably because it’s the least interesting part to me. It’s gonna happen, and it’ll happen in the last five minutes in these early episodes

“Been On My Mind”: ...so Sammy got a kiss or two this time, but they’re still not hooking up with every hot girl they see

[fantasyinvader]

So, another thing I’ve been putting off writing but really, really want to get off my chest. Edelgard is not some feminist icon. Let’s just ignore the waifu pandering, and I’ll explain why.

When it comes to Edelgard, the game frames her as someone in service to ideals. Her throwing away her humanity and assuming a monstrous form at the end of AM is proof of how far she is willing to go in doing so. But as I’ve talked about before, when you look at The Edge of Dawn’s lyrics you really get the sense that Edelgard does not want to go through with this war. She wants to remain in her “peaceful” academy days, where she can be herself and not the “mask” she has become that comes with her “blackened heart”. That last line, to me, would indicate how she knows what she is doing is wrong and her lines about “fearing the edge of dawn” and how “time betrays” shows her blaming something else for what she will do in a childish manner.

That said, we have her believing that Fodlan needs to be ruled by a strong emperor and that people need to rely on themselves rather than other sources of strength. This gets a little muddied in the translation, where Edelgard gives that big speech about how people doesn’t need gods if they support each other and endings saying that she made the people free and independent. Compare this to the Japanese version, where it’s about people being self-reliant aka not relying on others and instead relying on themselves. You look at her saying the Church is bad because it abuses people’s faith and altered history, but then Edelgard is shown in CF exclusive endings taking over the Church and is shown to lie when it’s convenient for her. She’s willing to have others do things to support her while she takes the credit, and again is willing to turn herself into a monster to win despite her talk about how great humans are. In the Japanese version, she talks about how she wants to put Fodlan back as it was, but her rule goes against what Wilhelm wanted in that version when she’s not talking about how he was “tricked” and “betrayed humanity.”

If anything, the ideal she serves most of all is that Fodlan needs to be reunited under a strong, authoritarian ruler. Everything else is just her being a hypocrite, using flowery language to make herself look better.

And when I think about what turned her into this, it leads back to three men.

* You have Thales, who experimented on her in order to create a weapon against Rhea.

* You have Ionius, the source of the version of history she believes in. The version of history that spurs her into action, gives her ideals, and who according to CF was a puppet of Thales and the Slithers.

* You have Hubert, the guy who does her black ops stuff, who convinced her to work with TWSITD, who said he came up with the name of TWSITD when that same name was used during Loog’s rebellions, who is depicted as an Agarthan Dark Mage in Cipher, and manages to “know” the location of where the Agarthan base is in VW/SS to send you after Thales. Is he a secret Slither, a modern day version of Loog’s Pan? Maybe, but there’s little doubt with him doing the dirty work for Edelgard she doesn’t know all that is being done to support her. She doesn’t know the specifics of the bribes and threats Hubert arranges, just what they get her. Add corruption to her list of hypocrisies.

At the end of the day, I don’t see a strong woman. I see a traumatized girl pushed down this path by three older men around her, two of which she puts a lot of trust into. I see a massive hypocrite who can’t back up what she’s preaching with actions. I see someone willing to sign off on various atrocities in pursuit of her goals, refuses to take responsibility and then blames others for what happens.

I don’t see someone worth looking up to.