#i am a fan girl front row with a sign

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Do you have any fic recs for maybe the best Sirius portrayals you've come across? Thanks!

ahhhhhhh

okay well, im obviously biased, and i love my own fics, the end.

but, if you don't want to read my nonsense, here are some of my favs:

-the son and heir of nothing in particular by @steelycunt (aeridi0nis on AO3) as well as on the issue of fever and delight and in lieu of beaujolais.

as you can see, i'm particularly fond of their writing and despite loving to be mean to Sirius (in the best sort of way, he is our barbie doll that gets chewed on sometimes, shaken like a rag doll), always do a phenomenal job of capturing his demons and the vibe. there's a particular line in OTIOFAD where sirius is there trying to apologize, and he, like, can't figure out how to slouch enough to do so, and it just hits right where it should. yes.

-the shape and sound of god by @dykefever (dykesiriusblack on AO3).

this is a fleabag AU, and Sirius is the star of the show. I am in love with this sad, sad, depiction of him. What I love a lot about sirius is how raw he is, like literally an open wound walking around and he pulls people into it, but he's always honest about that too. and is just like trying trying trying to be better, but the wound is just festering and. this. also, if you're in the mood for more dykefever, i highly recommend (in my room) i want you here

sweater weather by lumosinlove; look, i am a cult member too. i am nothing but a cult member. (i'm not tagging because I'm sure they get tagged 80x every day, yall know where to go)

Beneath a Big Blue Sky by @eyra; also a cult member for this one, i can't help it. There's something so delightful about sirius in this. and understanding. our sweet silly boy. everyone's comfort fic is also my comfort fic.

Boys Don't Cry by @blitheringmcgonagall (YouBlitheringIdiot on AO3);

i don't tend to read about the Prank because it makes me feel too much and drives me insane but THIS ONE. THIS ONE. yes. will read. and Sirius's characterization in this is top tier.

Drifters by twentysevensummers; the insane times i have read this single chapter.

At the Healing Edge of Broken by @heartofspells

OKAY LOOK I HAD TO COME BACK AND EDIT THIS POST. so fair warning (and i told tumblr user heartofspells this when i was reading as well), i had to do some skimming with some of the subject matter in this fic. BUT that does not erase the fact i LOVED this sirius. i loved how sweet he was with harry. i loved his humor. i loved his arrogance and forced vulnerability. I binged this and then went straight to the authors DM's to scream so. yeah. whoops.

(please let the record show i dont generally make rec lists because I'm always afraid someones going to be sad they weren't on it. but here are some of my favs that i find myself returning to.)

[wileys-russo]

dancing in the street II l.williamson x reader

head empty bar for thoughts of adventures in ibiza with leah.

dancing in the street II l.williamson x reader

"-see, I told ya!" lucy rolled her eyes tilting her phone screen so you could look. "the three best friends and lucy...oh that's harsh, as if you haven't blocked them." you chuckled, leaning your head on the older girls shoulder, feeling her let out a deep sigh. "no sadly i'd still rather be included, let them have their jokes." lucy admitted sliding her phone back into her pocket.

"hey wait why aren't i in the chat!" the realization dawned on you as you sat up, directing the question more to the two girls sat the row in front. "I told G not to add you. you're a horrendous texter and you'd just mute us." your girlfriend answered bluntly not even bothering to open her eyes, arms crossed tightly across her chest, blonde locks hidden by the hood covering her head. 

"i would not!" you defended with a scoff, looking to your friend beside you for back up who simply avoided your gaze which was all the confirmation you needed. "guys i am not that bad, am i?" your eyes widened, question ticking over and over in your head. "well you're not good." keira replied honestly glancing back at you from next to leah.

"and we didn't add you because any plans we make as a group we assume you and leah come as a package deal." the girl continued with an amused smile at your obvious codependency as the plane hit a slight bit of turbulence and your stomach lurched, hands curling tightly around the arm rests either side of you. 

"fact." lucy instantly agreed with her girlfriend, hiding a smirk behind her hand as she rested her head on her fist. "oh now you wanna chime in do you fourth wheel!" you glared at the older girl with displeasure who playfully shoved your head to the side as the pilot announced you were beginning your descent into ibiza.

"oh i hate this part." you mumbled nervously, sinking into your seat as the discomfort in your stomach grew and lucy reached over to gently massage the back of your neck. "nearly there." leah mumbled quietly, eyes still closed as keira harshly elbowed her, shaking her head as the blonde pulled a face and rubbed at her ribs. 

though with a look behind her and seeing how pale you'd gotten she was quick to unbuckle herself, checking no one was around to yell at her for ignoring the very clearly on seat belt sign and gesturing for lucy to swap seats. 

both of them darting up and into one anothers spots they hastily clicked in their belts again as a stewardess looked over with narrowed unimpressed eyes, leah sending the woman an apologetic smile.

"hey, you're fine yeah?" the blondes hand moved to rest on your thigh, giving the tanned skin a gentle squeeze as you nodded, wincing and slamming your eyes closed as the plane dropped lower. "we've done this easily fifty times now and nothings ever happened, focus on me." leah encouraged as you turned your head to meet her gaze, feeling your body unclench a little at her tender gaze.

"you didn't even want to sit next to me." you pouted with a small frown, leahs smile only widening at the cute notion. "because i see your gorgeous face every day, i haven't seen keiras ugly mug since the champions league final and before that it had been weeks." leah defended her decision, slating off her best friend in the process.

"oi!" keira turned around with a glare at the jest as leah smirked, giving her a sarcastic wave with her free hand. "we've not even landed in ibiza yet and you're making enemies, surely that's a record?" you pondered as leah pinched at your thigh for the comment. "what can i say darling, maybe i'm in my villian era." leah whispered dipping her head and connecting your lips quickly before pulling away, neither of you big fans of pda in larger crowds.

though your relationship wasn't directly a secret, it was as private as the two of you could manage with leahs fame only growing day by day.

"god you need to stop lurking on tiktok you sound like maisie." you grimaced, referring to your younger sister who seemed to only speak in tiktok references since the app had taken off, much to your annoyance. 

"who do you think sends me most of the tiktoks i watch." leah grinned as you rolled your eyes, no stranger to your girlfriend and little sister teaming up, forever the target of their combined teasing's and jokes.

"hey see you did it!" leah beamed proudly as the plane jolted one last time sending your head flying forward narrowly missing your folded tray table, wheels screaming against the tarmac as you breathed a sigh of relief, never having been the most comfortable flyer. 

"it lives to see another day, what a shame." lucy sighs shaking her head as the four of you stood awaiting the plane to clear before even attempting to exit, none of you in a large rush with holiday mode already having kicked in. 

you leant forward and punched the defender admittedly a little too hard, ducking back into leahs protection as lucy tried grabbing at you with a glare.

"whose making enemies now then." the blonde murmured in your ear with a chuckle, resting her chin on the top of your head as you pulled a face at lucy who jokingly drew her finger over her throat, mouthing for you to watch your back before her attention returned to keira. 

~

"alex is meeting us at the club later?" you asked, leah dropping your bags on the floor and collapsing backwards onto the bed with a nod. "yeah she's out meeting some of her other mates for a late lunch, they'll probably be there too." leah confirmed, opening her arms and looking to you expectantly.

"happy off season." you grinned laying down on top of her feeling her arms wrap tightly around your back, pulling your bodies as close together as they could possibly get. "it's been off season for awhile now." the girl joked but you could see the hurt masked behind her eyes as you winced, probably not your best choice of words.

"i'm sorry love that was insensitive." your hands moved to cup the defenders face, thumbs stroking her jaw affectionately feeling it clench slightly beneath your touch. 

"just too bad you're too weak to give me piggybacks, maybe you should join me in rehab for these sad little noodles." leah squeezed at your biceps with a pitiful look as your mouth formed a small o and you smacked her in the chest. 

"i'll put you back in hospital if you're not careful williamson." you warned, sitting up to straddle her chest as the blonde only smirked, hands coming to rest on your exposed thighs

"what you gonna do then babe? nag me to an early grave?" leah mocked, hands creeping higher and higher up your thighs as you tried to ignore the back flips your stomach did just at the simplest of her touch. 

"that stair case is looking really tempting, don't accidentally fall down it." you threatened ducking your head to hover your mouth just above hers, pulling back slightly as she tried to capture your lips.

"i don't know if you've earned a proper kiss yet." you smiled teasingly, leahs wandering hands finding their way up the inside of the hem of your shorts. "that so?" leah feigned surprise, proudly watching your confident facade break for a second as she teasingly snapped at the waistband of your underwear.

the captains eyes quickly flicked downwards, mouth going dry as she lifted up the edge of your shorts instantly recognizing the familiar black lace of the chosen pair. her mind raced with memories of that shopping trip, over an hour spent picking out sets for you in your favorite lingerie store, as well as what had inevitably happened in the changing rooms afterwards as you modeled her choices.

leah had never been good with sharing what was hers or keeping her hands to herself.

"do tell then pretty girl, what you want for a kiss?" the blonde asked, voice low and raspy, short nails scratching gently at your hips as she sat up and you adjusted yourself on top of her, arms wrapping around the back of her neck.

though before you even had a chance to answer you both heard feet pounding upstairs and the door flew open, lucy barging in. "it's alright its safe ke they've still got their clothes on!" the girl bellowed downstairs as you groaned at the interruption, head falling onto leah's shoulder.

"though if you take much longer we might be in for a show!" lucy smirked wiggling her eyebrows suggestively as you moved off of your girlfriends lap and sat beside her instead, leah's stony expression displaying her own discontent at the disruption.

"right listen up then you two can sex it up all you want in your own spare time. but right now we're on holiday and have a date with the pool and then the beach club, so hurry up and get ready!" keira pegged two towels at the both of you, one of which nailed leah right in the face, both her and lucy quick to bolt back downstairs before she could pounce on them.

~

"baby can you zip me up please." you finally emerged from the bathroom, flipping your hair over your shoulder and holding it out the way, turning your back toward leah who pulled herself up off the bed.

the older girl had been ready for over twenty minutes now, laid down and scrolling through her phone, calling out every few minutes a gentle but firm reminder that she was still waiting.

"i can't believe you're wearing this." leah mumbled against your neck, lips trailing kisses down the soft skin as your eyes fluttered close, leaning back into her hold at the pleasurable sensation. "thought you might appreciate it." you smiled in victory at the expected reaction.

"shift it the cars here!" lucy shouted upstairs once more dampening the moment, your skin burning where leahs lips had just been as the blonde zipped you up and stepped back. "you look gorgeous." your girlfriend complimented charmingly, pecking your lips as you grabbed her hand and headed downstairs.

"as do you." you replied shamelessly checking her out as you exited your shared villa and headed for the uber which was to take you all to ushuaia, one of the hottest clubs in ibiza. closing the door as you hopped in last, chatter broke out amongst the four of you, all discussing the rest of your plans for your week away.

"bottoms up then." lucy pulled a flask from the pocket of her shorts, taking a quick swig before it was passed around between you. "oh fuck what is that." you grimaced as the unfamiliar liquid burnt its way down your throat, leah patting your back as you let out a small cough. "tequila!" lucy grinned, downing the rest of the small flask.

"it's party time girls!"

~

"fuck yeah calvins on baby!" leah cheered loudly, knocking her drink with alex's as the two of them stood up on the lounge in your private box which alex had somehow managed to book in last minute. 

"have fun with that." lucy chuckled beside you as leah screamed with joy at the familiar tune pumping from the stage behind you and downed the rest of her drink, jumping off the lounge and bending down at the table to make herself a new one. 

"babe how about a water? just in between drinks." you called out over the thumping bass around you, gently grabbing her hand as it gripped around the near empty bottle of jack daniels, which when you checked about a half hour ago was full.

"nah fuck that i'm on holiday!" leah slurred with a firm shake of her head, removing your hand from hers as she filled her cup over halfway with the brown liquid, not even bothering with a mixer. "i love you!" leah shouted over the noise, grabbing your chin with her free hand and placing a quick kiss to your lips before hopping back up on the lounge to dance with alex.

"you alright?" keira noticed the worry on your face as she tugged you into a quieter corner. "i'm fine, i don't think she is though." you nodded toward your girlfriend who had her arm slung around alex, screaming along to whatever song was playing, swaying side to side as she yet again downed her drink.

"looks like she's just having fun?" keira asked as her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, unsure what it was you were actually worried about. "yeah she looks like that. same as she looks fine when anyone asks about her acl, but she's not okay ke! she won't acknowledge it or talk about it, any time i try she just shuts down or changes the subject." you admitted, admittedly feeling some sense of relief as you finally got it off your chest, not having discussed it with anyone.

"she's been drinking more, a lot more. i know she isn't okay but i don't even know where to begin with trying to help her. i thought after the surgery and beginning her rehab things might change but she won't even talk to her mum about anything she's feeling, she's like a brick wall!" you pinched your nose at the stress bubbling up inside you, keira gently rubbing your back with a concerned frown.

"i hadn't realised it was that bad, she seemed okay at the champions league final. we even went out afterwards!" keira sighed, annoyed with herself for not noticing these changes in her best friend. "she's really good at hiding it, but she's hurting and she's angry and with just bottling everything up i'm terrified of what happens when she reaches her limit and-"

"-implodes." keira finished for you as you nodded, sighing deeply. "i'll try to have a talk with her tomorrow, take her out for lunch or something just the two of us." keira offered as you nodded, having exhausted all your own attempts at trying to get the stubborn blonde to open up.

"now now now what is with these long faces? we're in ibiza!" speaking of stubborn blondes, here she was now. leah flung an arm over your shoulder and pressed a sloppy kiss to your cheek as you gave keira a subtle nod that you'd be fine and she excused herself to return back to the group. 

"why you look so sad then?" your girlfriend slurred as she cupped your face in her hands as your own grabbed at her waist, steadying her as she swayed slightly on her feet. "nothing, i'm fine lee." you forced a smile, knowing now was far from an appropriate time to bring anything up.

"you're a terrible liar." leah shook her head, hooded eyes now shone with a little concern as you tried to relax, plastering a slightly more sincere smile on your face. "i'm okay, i promise." you tried to assure, gently rubbing circles into her hips as leah hesitated slightly before nodding.

"right, let's dance then. we're on holiday!" leah cheered drunkenly, slinging her arm back around you and tugging you back into the throng of people, this time a little deeper into the crowd than either of you had previously ventured. 

though not before she'd snagged alex's drink out of her hand along the way, sending her friend a cheeky wink and shouting a thank you over your shoulder.

shaking your head you reset yourself, allowing your body to relax a little into the taller girls tight hold as the music pumped around you, ground shaking with the intensity of the bass. having slowed down on your own alcohol intake to monitor leahs, you now grabbed her stolen drink from her hand, chugging it in one mouthful and wincing as the straight vodka burned it's way through you.

you coughed already feeling a little light headed as leahs booming laugh surrounded you, forever finding your inability to hold your alcohol amusing, relentlessly teasing you for it. but tonight she let it slide, far too high off her own buzz and the vibes of the club around you to bother.

worries temporarily washed away with the boost of liquid courage you loosened up, pushing slightly more into leah as the blondes hands began to wander your body, squeezing and pinching at any slit of bare skin she could locate. 

it wasn't long before her lips joined in, beginning their assault on your neck and collarbones as the two of you ground against one another to the beat, alex and a few of her other friends joining in close by.

time seemed to fly as you finally let loose and began to actually enjoy yourself, and before you knew it lucy was shouting in your ear that it was nearing 3am and she'd called a car to take you all back to the villa. 

having sobered up a little more now you nodded your agreement and stood on tippy toes, searching for leahs messy mop of blonde hair in the crowd, the girl having been whisked away by alex about a half hour ago.

after much push back from the taller girl and her partner in crime, and a joint tag team effort from yourself and lucy in reasoning with them, the four of you and keira were finally making your way out of the very much still alive club and onto the streets as lucy looked around for your uber.

though the lack of live music most certainly hadn't put a damper on alex and leah's night, the two girls now screaming sweet caroline at the top of their lungs as they spun one another round and round in circles. you'd given up trying to quiet them down, assuming that the more energy an incredibly drunk leah got out of her system now would make it much easier to put her to bed later.

"hello my pretty girl." speaking of. "hi my love." you smiled sweetly as the defender wrapped her arms around your waist from behind, resting her head on your shoulder and peppering kisses to your cheek. 

"dance with me!" she tugged on your hand attempting to yank you into the street where alex was twerking by herself in the middle of the road, lucy and keira busy arguing over who put in your pick up address wrong.

"there's no music!" you laughed as the girl dragged you away from the rest of the group. "i can fix that. scotty! some music if you please." leah cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted over toward alex who stopped her solo dance routine, breaking out into a very off pitch rendition of can't take my eyes off of you.

growing bored of that song she switched to islands in the stream, getting most of the words wrong as leah grabbed your hands, twirling you around before wrapping you in a hug, gently swaying the both of you from side to side. 

"it's like we're out with tooney." you laughed at your friends choice of tune, leah humming in agreement and you squealed as she suddenly dipped you before pulling you quickly back into her chest. "cars here lets go!" keira called out as a large silver van pulled up, alex sprinting off shouting for shot gun.

"do we have to go!" leah whined, tripping over her own feet as you grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the car. "yes we do." you chuckled at the state of her, the girl barely able to hold herself up. you lost count of her drinks after you'd seen her down her ninth jack and coke, and that was well before alex had pumped her full of shots.

"no." leah dropped your hand and crossed her arms over her chest as you stopped, one foot in the car and one still on the ground. "leah come on, in the car." you offered her your hand which she childishly smacked away, sitting down on the curb in protest.

"scotty! back to the club?" the captain slurred out with a nod behind her, alex quick to agree but lucy grabbed her hands as she went to unbuckle herself, firmly shaking her head. "we're going back later anyway babe. come on, it's time!" you called out, firmer this time as the two of you locked into a staring contest.

"sorry just give us a minute." you apologized to the uber driver who threatened to either drive off or kick you all out if a decision wasn't made quickly. "leah. get in the car!" you warned, raising an eyebrow in challenge as the blonde huffed, bottom lip jutted into a pout. "such bullshit!" she eventually gave in with moan and a roll of her eyes, struggling to get to her feet.

"christ sakes." you mumbled going over to help her up, stumbling slightly yourself as she leant her taller form into you. finally getting her into the car and wrestling a seatbelt onto her you dropped into your own seat with a sigh of relief as the uber driver took off, grumbling under his breath as alex took over the stereo.

the ride home was stiflingly uncomfortable to say the least, the heat radiating off of all of you after a night of drinking and dancing coupled with the thick ibiza humidity creating quite the hot box. 

at least leah had finally passed out, head dropping onto your shoulder and arms tucked tightly around your torso. though the close proximity of your bodies meant you shuffled uncomfortably every few minutes, combined body heats suffocating you. 

you were also having immense regret in the tight black dress hugging your curves, the material now clinging to you like a second layer of skin as sweat dripped off you like a waterfall.

you breathed a sigh of relief as you finally arrived to your villa, the other three unable to get out of the disgustingly hot car fast enough. "baby wake up." you nudged the soundly sleeping girl on top of you who stirred, lifting her head up and blinking a few times, clearly disorientated.

she tried to speak however whatever words came out of her mouth were not english. "we're back." you nodded over her shoulder to the villa behind you, the uber driver impatiently huffing as he met your gaze in the rear view mirror and you winced apologetically. 

thank god keira and lucy came to your aid, poking and prodding at their captain before the girl untangled herself from you and stepped out of the car with a grumble and a groan. unfortunately though it seemed her nap had only recharged her drunken antics, as once she stumbled in the front door and noticed alex making more drinks at the bar she perked right back up.

"oh god no." you buried your hands in your face at the sight of the two of them, mentally preparing yourself for what was now to follow, wanting nothing more than to collapse into bed. "we'll deal with scott, you go for leah." lucys hands landed on your shoulders as you nodded with a deep sigh.

"leah, can we go to bed please?" you tried asking nicely, the blonde now dancing on top of the bar with alex, music blasting from her best friends phone as they sipped on god knows what. "meet you up there." leah slurred out swaying to and fro, pumping her fists with her eyes closed to the beat as keira and lucy tried to convince alex to do the same.

you couldn't hear what was said over the music but it seemed to work as alex clambered down from the bar, keira quick to grab at her phone and stop the music, leah stopping her dancing with a frown. "aw no scotty come on!" leah whined, booing at the girl who only waved and hobbled off to her room.

"see even alex has gone to bed, come on." you tried again, leah reluctantly climbing down from the bar though not before reaching over to down a discarded shot as you hurried to pull her away from the selection of alcohol.

"come on man why you being such a buzz kill!" leah groaned in annoyance as you waved goodnight to keira and lucy, mouthing a thank you. "because it's nearly four thirty in the morning." you grunted out, struggling to drag leah upstairs as the defender slumped her full body weight onto you.

"sounds like sleep isn't needed then, we should just party on baby!" leah cheered loudly as you dropped her onto the bed, rubbing at your neck which was starting to throb and closing the bedroom door behind you. "leah! the others are trying to sleep." you shushed her as she started to belt out shania twain at the top of her lungs, hastily placing a hand over the blondes mouth.

"buzz kills, the lot of you!" leah huffed yanking your hand away before you slipped off her shoes, tossing them in the corner behind you. "hmm yeah that's it, undress me." the girl rested her hands behind her head, smirking at you as you rolled your eyes. "undress yourself." you tossed a shirt at her face and disappeared into the bathroom to take off your makeup.

though when you returned a few minutes later tying your hair up into a messy bun you couldn't help but laugh at the sight before you. leah had managed to take off the matching button up and shorts she wore out, however was now struggling to push her head through the arm hole of the large top you'd given her, muttering angrily to herself when she had no success in the task.

"stop that you idiot!" you laughed grabbing at her hands and pushing them away as you pulled at the top, leahs disheveled head now popping through the correct hole. "can you manage to unzip this please?" you asked the still heavily intoxicated girl who nodded, shuffling herself to the end of the bed.

"i will always take clothes off for you baby girl." leah slurred out as she tugged down your zip, clearly trying to have the words come across seductively however with the high levels of alcohol still pumping through her the sentence came out more gibberish than sexy.

you sighed in relief as you peeled the somewhat damp dress off of you and tossed it into the bathroom to be dealt with tomorrow. rummaging through your bag you tugged one of leahs old arsenal jerseys over your head, instantly engulfed in the familiarly comfortable scent of your girlfriend. 

"oh that's a bit cute." the girl cooed out with a lopsided smile, leaning back on her forearms on the bed. "such a shame its an arsenal jersey though." you faked a gag, leah gasping at your words as you stood between her legs at the end of the bed.

"don't you dare insult my dear north london like that." she warned, wagging a finger at you as you grinned. "i should really stop wearing it, belongs to some footballer i'm shagging." you teased as leah sat up to hug you, resting her head on your stomach. "just shagging?" she mumbled into the faded red material. 

"not currently shagging." you warned in a more serious tone, feeling leahs hands squeeze at your bum, the girl looking up at you with a cheeky grin. "why not! you're hot, i'm hot, hot people should sleep together." she slurred out and you shook your head in amusement. 

"because you're very drunk, and very drunk people should just sleep." you unwrapped her arms from around you, going to flick off the lights as leah laid down in bed kicking off the duvet. you turned on the ceiling fan, sighing in relief as the thick air around you slowly began to dissipate. 

navigating your way back to the bed in the now pitch black room your knee knocked at the corner of the bed, a gentle curse dropping from your lips as you reached out blindly, a pair of strong arms assisting your body to drop into the much welcomed comfort of the mattress.

"leah no! i meant it, you're drunk and you need to sleep." you laughed quietly and pushed her away as lips instantly attached to your neck. "fine." the defender grumbled with a huff, pushing her head back in your neck and clinging tightly onto you. 

one hand burying itself into her hair and scratching at her scalp, the other snuck up the back of her top and gently rubbed her back. within seconds you heard a soft snore as leah's head rolled onto your shoulder, her nose twitching slightly and you smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead and mumbling an i love you into the warm skin.

your own eyes drooped shut, body relaxing into the safe cocoon of your lovers embrace, a persistent voice in the back of your mind reminding you'd likely need to do it all over again tomorrow. which you would in a heart beat, you'd do anything for the blonde wrapped up beside you, till the end of time. 

[softnsquishable]

Well, i want to ask, how is joe irl? Lol

Like how was the m&g interaction

Finally, an excuse to tell the whole story. I will spare no details, so buckle up. tl;dr he is the nicest boy on earth.

About thirty minutes before Joe's signing block began, me and some other fobbies had clustered at one end of the area. I was totally cool - and then someone said "oh there's Joe" and I turned around and yeah, there he was, only a few feet away. He was holding his hands behind his back, looking lost, just trying to figure out where he was supposed to be and presumably where Rick was. No joke my hand covered my mouth and my heart raced and in that moment I was so SO thankful I had the foresight to get a notecard and write a few bullet points for what I wanted to tell him. Side note, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT METHOD because I always think I'll be fine going up to somebody I admire and then my mind BLANKS in the moment. This made everything so much smoother for me.

Once we found out Rick Remender was a big deal and we had to line up, we spent over an hour in line before getting up to where Joe was. I watched two people in front of me go, and then made myself a fantastic introduction by immediately dropping my bag, water bottle and phone on the ground in front of me. I backed up and let the girl that went before me get a photo before stepping forward with a little "hehe, take two".

I was wearing my "I Have Mental Illinois" shirt and Joe looked at it right away, smiled and said "Don't we all?" to which I brilliantly said "I was hoping you'd like it."

I was in the second row center at Sacramento 2ourdust back in March and I had made this sign for Joe.

I figured since it was a signing event for Holy Roller and Rifters I would bring it along to show him. On the night of the show, I had held it up during 16 Candles and he had seemed to see it, smiling over at me and giving a little wave, which definitely made my entire night. I didn't think he'd remember but...

I set the sign down on the table with the comics and said "I don't know if you remember this, but-" and Joe cuts in "I DO remember this. That was you? Yeah, I saw this, and I texted the guys about it right after the show." He then proceeded to tug on Rick's sleeve and say "Hey, Rick...Rick, look, look at this, look what she made." (Side note, seeing Joe just tugging on Rick's sleeve to get his attention, absolutely precious.) I am still completely blown away that he remembered seeing this sign after playing almost forty shows and eight months down the line, but it totally warmed my heart. He even signed it for me with a special sharpie - he dug around in his little cup of markers and then declared, "Rose gold. You're getting rose gold."

I felt my mind start to blank so I took my little notecard out, which I apologized for, but Joe said "Yeah, that's good to have". I then told him, as he gave me his complete attention, thank you for the music (I've been a fan for over 10 years) and for the books, the memoir, all the laughs, and for the community his band has fostered. I told him that I've met all of my best friends because of his band via Tumblr Discord etc. and that it's come so far that one of my closest friends, who I met on a "Fall Out Boy Forum" (it was wattpad but I wasn't gonna tell him that) and I had met after eight years of online friendship at Forest Hills. Joe asked if we were still friends after meeting because sometimes that changes things and I assured him me and them were cool.

I asked him what comics I should read to get more into comics in a similar vein to what he'd written. He thought about it and said that for Holy Roller specifically, a lot of it was inspired by early Batman comics (I believe he said Batman Year one) and that he was currently reading some of that with his daughter - turning his children into little nerds apparently! He went on for a little while like that and to be honest I do not remember all of what he was saying about it, except for at the end he did say "...that's a lot to remember."

Joe then asked me if I had the rest of the books (Holy Roller and Rifters) as he had copies of every single issue on the table. I have to preface this by saying I was a dumbass and didn't think to bring anything to be signed, so I had run into the bookshop earlier and bought an older issue of both Holy Roller and Rifters for the signing. I said yes, I was subscribed and had them at home, even if I hadn't read them yet, and he clarified "I wasn't doubting you, I just wanted to make sure, otherwise I'd give em to you".

Sidebar, he was signing anything people brought, including art, and someone's FUTCT CD. He asked where they wanted it signed and he helped them work it out, noting that, "In the past, people have had me sign on my photo. Yeah, this one, where I'm like...ten years old or whatever". He also signed a memoir or two (mine was signed when I bought it or I might've done that too).

I then asked for a picture and he said sure and he was very glad that "we (the band) helped to bring you friendship". I then asked hi for a handshake, which I got, and stepped over to meet Rick, giving him a little hello and telling him I enjoyed the books, as it was the first comic series I'd ever subscribed to. I then held up my phone for a selfie, which Joe saw us taking, and so he made this face, and then proceeded to laugh about it to himself, which was so SO sweet.

Just before I walked away I told Joe "oh by the way, my (not really mine but) discord server Fall Out Bastards say hi" and he looked mildly confused and said "I do not know them...but pass on my greetings".

I realized a few minutes later that I had forgotten to take a picture with the disposable camera I brought, so I waited for a gap in the Fall Out Boy fans and kind of timidly went, "Hey, Joe...can we get another picture with my disposable where I'm holding the sign?" He said sure, and so I went back over and posed, all the while he was giving us instructions for the camera. ("Make sure you do it with the flash on, I really recommend that...yeah, it's the little switch on the front. Is it on? Okay, good.")

I left the meet up so so happy, and when I sat down on the train to go home, I ended up chatting to the person next to me a bit. She was a casual Fall Out Boy listener it turned out, and when I opened up the sign to show it to her, I noticed that next to Joe's signature-

-he had drawn me a little smiley :') just something that made my heart soar that much higher.

Meeting Joe was genuinely one of the best experiences I've ever had. He gave his full attention to you as you talked, one knee on his chair, wiggling his flip flop sandals and chewing his nicotine gum (I know it's nicotine gum because we audibly heard Rick offer him some and he said yes and took it). Such a sweet guy and I would absolutely recommend that anybody meet him if they have the chance because though I've had to come home to my nine to five and all the issues in the world and in my own personal life...I cheer up a whole lot when I think about this interaction and see that photo of us together.

I do have to say, even as a 5'1 girlie, Joe is SMALLER that I thought he would be! Yes, he looks tall next to the rest of the band, but he is a SMALL BOY and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes, he was leaning over on the table and I was elevated slightly above him, but even when he was standing straight, he did not come across as tall.

I do partially blame this interaction as the reason I went ahead and bought tickets to Innings Fest as well shdfjlsjdlhf but I'm glad I did! I hope to meet and make many more moots there and keep cheering Joe and the others on from wherever in the crowd I may be!

Maybe YOU shouldn't meet your heroes...but if your hero is Joe Trohman, I think you're better off giving it a shot. Here is a bonus photo or two of him being a very good listener.

[johnschneiderblog]

The girl with the sign

In Sunday's blog I told you about a Lord Huron fan and frequent poster on the World Enders website.

Anne-Sophie, who lives in the north of France, stood in the front row for LH's June 30 show in Paris with a sign directed at the stage. It said "U SAVED MY LIFE."

A photographer from a music magazine posted a photo that inadvertently captured Ann-Sophie and her sign. She didn't know the photo had been taken but found it while surfing Twitter.

On Tuesday I got an email that said in part:

"I am Anne-Sophie, that girl with the sign during the concert in Paris! I saw your post about me ...

"June 30 was, for sure, the best day of my life. I was waiting in front of the place since 11 a.m., I was the first. And I met Mark, then Miguel, and lastly Ben (see photo) in the afternoon ...

"They were so kind to me. I told them how much I love them, and I was able to tell them in person that they saved my life. And, honestly, they're still saving my life, right now. They signed my sign, they were touched by the message 'U SAVED MY LIFE.' Ben hugged me.

"They saved my life during high school and university. I am an anxious person and they helped me when I was very sad and very bad.

"I am not really attached to life, but I know I'll NEVER give up, because I can't miss new music, new arts, new albums, new things from them ... I am so thankful to be alive at the same time as they are."

[leupagus]

Selyse is not a "who's this bitch" kind of person but honestly, she should be forgiven for meeting Sansa like this and going "who's this bitch"

Just then there was a call from outside the tent, asking for the king. Davos opened the flap and a young solder ducked inside, bowing low to the king first, then to Lady Melisandre, then to Selyse. "Your Grace," he said, "riders were just spotted on the pass below, making their way up to our camp."

"Spotted on the pass?" snorted Davos. "Are they riding snow bears? Or elks?"

As though in answer, an horn sounded in the distance. The king started, his expression as queer as any Selyse had seen on his face in their near twenty years of marriage. It seemed almost...hopeful. "That call," he said, as though to himself.

Davos shook his head. "I don't recognize it, Your Grace. Do you?"

"Oh, yes," said Stannis softly. "I remember it very well."

The party climbing up the pass was small — a hundred men at most — in two long rows, the banners of all of Stark's promised houses unfurled. They were mounted on the great lumbering beasts that passed for horses in the North. In the pearl-grey of dawn, Selyse could see the front pair dragging behind them a curious leather-and plate device. It was shaped for all the world like the prow of a ship and it cut through the snow with ease. The party moved only slightly slower than a full canter; even as she watched, the two horses affixed to the contraption slowed and stopped, their riders giving them full rein to blow out great puffs of air into the snow. The whole party halted in an orderly queue behind them, and the two mounted soldiers directly behind circled round to unhook the lead pair (without bothering to dismount) and attaching their own horses. The party then resumed its swift pace up the mountain pass. The two who had been in the lead rejoined smoothly at the end, where the snow been packed down to a tidy path.

"Ingenious," remarked Davos. Lady Melisandre said nothing, only quirked an eyebrow. Shireen asked some imbecilic question about something, and the king made a patient response.

"Perhaps these men of the North will bring you the miracle you seek, Your Grace," said Lady Melisandre, as the riders at last drew level.

"Certainly they seem to have performed the miracle of moving in this snow," Stannis observed.

Most of the riders remained at the foot of the camp, but a small group began to make their way toward them, their behemoth horses even more ridiculous as they drew closer, with their hoofs near as wide as platters and their tails cut short as a broomstick. As they halted before their king, the riders dismounted. Despite the bitter cold, not one of them showed any sign of discomfort, their thick boots and cloaks making them appear almost as outsized as their horses.

The king took a breath, as if to ask for their leader, when a hooded figure on a great chestnut beast came out from the midst of them. Her cloak and skirts were dirty from the road and snows, her copper-bright hair in a simple peasant's braid as she pushed back her hood. A half-dozen young men surged forward to hand her from her horse, but it was a giantess in armor who helped her down and followed closely behind as she approached them.

It took Selyse a long moment to realize who the girl was: Sansa, Catelyn's eldest daughter. (Eldest child, now that the usurper Robb Stark was dead — and Catelyn too, and Lord Stark before them.) She had more of her mother's look to her than her father's, which must have pleased the Imp when he married her; Tyrion had always liked his whores pretty and clever. There was something in the way that she carried herself, however, that made Selyse suspect Sansa might be rather too clever.

The girl made no move to bow to the king, merely drew within a length as her retinue fanned out behind her. "Your Grace," she greeted Stannis. At least she had the good sense to recognize her rightful king. "I am Lady Sansa, of House Stark."

"Lady Stark," the king replied, or began to, because at that moment the damned direwolf, that unnatural creature the Lord Commander had foisted upon them, came hurtling in from wherever the devils he'd been and lunged for the girl, sending her sprawling to the ground with a scream more chilling than Shireen's, horrifyingly cut off as she—

As she laughed, the creature licking frantically at her face with its great tail wagging. The girl brought her arms around its monstrous neck and hugged it closer to her, burying her face in its fur, unconcerned entirely by the spectacle. Her Northern lords looked well pleased, in fact, nodding and smiling at one another in shared understanding. He'll recognize her, Jon had told Shireen when she'd asked how Ghost would know who Sansa was. The pack knows its own. It seemed the whole of the North knew.

The king's people were nearly as susceptible. Davos was smiling like a dolt and Shireen looked as though she wanted nothing more than to join in the undignified affair. Lady Melisandre, at least, showed little sign of being moved; she was watching with an air of interest but no warmth. Only the king was truly inscrutable, as he stared down at the tangle of girl and dog with another expression she had never seen before. This time, she could not guess as to what it meant.

At long last, the beast allowed Sansa Stark to rise, once again accepting help only from her giantess. "My apologies, Your Grace," she said. Her smile was broad and bright even as she wiped at a streak of mud across her nose. "But as you might guess, Stark reunions are rare these days."

[reci1996]

Superstar: Prologue

Rayne Rivera is a well known singer and songwriter from Pensacola, Florida. She used to live on the same street as Jimmy and Jey. When they were younger, they used to be attached at the hip. Some would call them the 3 musketeers in middle and high school. In the 8th grade, the twins were what you call protective, but when school came back into session in the 9th grade, the twins watched as Rayne blossomed into a beautiful young lady. While Jimmy only saw Rayne as a little sister, Jey saw her in another light. But back then, Jey was too shy to say anything to her. What he didn't know was that Rayne felt the same way that he did. They both went through heartbreak and failed relationships during their high school years, but they never once said anything to each other. The only 2 people that knew how they felt about each other were Jimmy and Joe. Now damn near 20 years later, who knew that a song would go viral and right the halls of both the Raw and Smackdown.

This is for you, you, my number one This is for you, you, my number one (Ah, ah, ah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah) This is for you, you, my number one

Spotlights (Spotlights), big stage Fifty thousand fans screamin' in a rage Bodyguards (Bodyguards) and limousines This is the way I see you in my dreams Paparazzi flash, a hundred pictures, all of you Hangin' on my bedroom wall I'm a kid again, I feel like thirteen But I knew since we fell in love, girl, I'd be

I'll be your groupie, baby (Oh, whoa) 'Cause you are my superstar (Superstar, yeah) I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph Sign it right here on my heart (I'll be) Girl, I'll be your groupie, baby (Oh, oh, whoa) 'Cause you are my superstar (Superstar, yeah) And as your number one fan (This is for you, you, my number one) I'll do all that I can To show you how super you are

Front row (Front row), there I am Jumpin' and hollerin', wavin' both hands Would you notice me (Notice me), little me? Drove twelve hours, girl, just to see Your pretty face one more time (Bought my ticket, I was first in line) This is a metaphor to show how I adore, you (I adore you) Baby, I do

I'll be your groupie, baby (Whoa) 'Cause you are my superstar (Superstar, yeah) I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph (Autograph) Sign it right here on my heart (Sign it right here, sugar) Girl, I'll be your groupie, baby (Whoa) 'Cause you are my superstar (Superstar, yeah) And as your number one fan I'll do all that I can To show you how super you are

(Girl, you know how I feel) You're truly special, your love is legendary to me (Without you, my life stands still) I'll never leave your world, treat you like a diva, girl You're one of (Girl, you're one of a kind) 'Cause they don't make 'em like you anymore, so (So, I'll be your fan for life) I dedicate this to my superstar for all time

I'll be your groupie, baby (I'll be your groupie, baby) 'Cause you are my superstar (Superstar, yeah, yeah, yeah) I'm your number one fan, give me your autograph (Yeah, yeah) Sign it right here on my heart Girl, I'll be your groupie, baby (I'll be your groupie, baby) 'Cause you are my superstar And as your number one fan I'll do all that I can To show you how super you are

I'm sorry that it has taken so long to write something but work and school is kicking my booty. So some chapters might take some time.

[tmrwds]

Translation to 19.07. Eura gig stream under cut (10mins)

Banter starting from 01:40

You guy there, were you going skiiing? You have the glasses on your head, or did i see wrong? You're a good-looking crowd. (girl screaming JEREEE) what do you want? I'll give attention to you too. It's like a fucking kindergarten. Pikku Silja is there like (raises his arms) Are there underage ppl here? Hopefully not. You came with your dad's ID? Did it truly work?

You're wearing a Käärijä shirt, lovely. It's like kindergarteners, "look I have a new Gogo figurine" I don't even know what's a gogo-- Have you been eating sausage? The stall, full of sausage. How much is 3x3, sign it for me. How much is it? That doesn't make sense. I'm not going to become a teacher.

Hey, people on the back. Is there a reason you're over there and not on the front row? The man was like (nods) women. -- What do you have there? Your own [smuggled] drinks? No? Fuck, you drink a lot. Huh? For me? I don't drink. I'm an absolutist. Think about it, I've never touched that. Bess was performing today, right? Let's not tell her, but Bess was like "remember to drink water" no, just drink booze. At Käärijä's gig the rules are different, 2%/per mil at least when you're here. My show is so awful I don't want anyone to remember anything about it. Just kidding.

From 3:52 : I have this super fan here - am I allowed to tell? I will. You're not going to be offended? She has been on some 31 gigs this year. That's fucking sick, I don't understand why. But, she sent us an email, think about it, I have an email too, you don't- she sent that..what was it? That I shouldn't mock myself. Something like that. Think about it, how sympathetic. I'm mocking myself and she's like "don't do that! You're really a good, lovely person" I'm not! But I appreciate it, we talked this over with the band. Because of her, we've been going to therapy.

One thing that's fucking awesome about this place is that the internet isn't working. The guestion is, the TVs probably don't work either, so how the fuck did you watch Eurovision? How? Was there a shared TV? (points on the sky) "Oh, there's Käärijä". Do you guys even have phones?! Nokia 3510i, you look like you have that. Or do you? - You came from Tampere? You should've at least said you're from around here [Eura]. How many of you are from here? You know, one day- (dude shouts Urheilujätkä) Shut the fuck up. -when I have the money, I'll buy everyone who lives here a phone, I'll buy an internet here, some fucking tower right there. On the phone there will be apps, you can watch por-, Käärijä's instagram, it's an app too. -- Okay, let's continue, this thing doesn't make any sense.

Paidaton riehuja starts: How many will take off their shirt? -- (cute bit of the front row girls lol "It's coming off! For real? Yes, you're supposed to take it off! I didn't know that you have to take your shirt off!")

I'll do a little bit different speech because we have the superfan here. And sometimes I was like, I didn't compliment my own body. So do you know what I'll say now? Fuck, I'm in a good shape. Before the eurovision shit, I was like this (sucks belly in), but after eurovision when money started coming in… But the saddest thing is, I've drank all the money and I got nothing but the belly left. But at least I got some memory. Let's go.

After paidaton riehuja: Think about it, for the first time I saw boobs. I won't say if it was a man or woman's boobs, but I saw them anyway. And they were great!

[ladylooch]

https://www.tumblr.com/ladylooch/731901546727620608/i-am-simping-so-hard-for-luca-fiala-rn-which?source=share

And.... What happens next? (I loved it)

Practice at TRIA Rink ended more than fifteen minutes ago, but Luca Fiala graciously signs every single item thrust in front of him. He poses for all pictures, bright smile and enthusiastic greetings for each fan. Unbeknownst to him, his girlfriend watches from her perch seven rows up the bleachers. There, Liv wraps her fingers tighter into her biceps to hold her warmth in. She underestimated a hockey rink in Minnesota, in February. 

Slowly, the crowd filters down to a few kids. It is a Thursday practice. If it were a weekend, Luca would be here for hours as their star player. Liv smiles, watching him sign one of his dad’s jerseys. Luca always loves doing that, especially when the other 2 on their number has his dad’s ink already.

“There you go. Have a good day, bud.” Luca chuckles as the kid turns around, mouth agape in awe of his favorite player. They bounce away as Liv stands, beginning to walk down the metal bleachers. Her boots clapping loudly has Luca looking up at her. Shock covers his face, then a huge grin as she leans against the railing in front of him. 

“You got any more time for your number one fan?” She asks.

“All the time in the world.” He murmurs against her mouth as they kiss. 

“I came to apologize in person.”

“No, it’s okay. I.. didn’t handle that great either. I should have asked you.”

“You don’t need me to ask me if you can have your neighbors over to use your oven. I overreacted.”

“I didn’t have a shirt on. That was bad.”

“Yeah, but you NEVER have a shirt on. It’s not like that’s new.” 

“Still.” He reaches out, tilting his foggy visor back up so he can see her clearly. “Not appropriate or considerate of you.” 

“This.” Liv moans, wrapping her arms around his sweaty shoulders. “Is why I can never stay mad at you.”

“I’m okay with that. How did you get here so fast?”

“‘Timo Meier is my dad’ still gets me places.” She chuckles against his mouth. They smile into their kiss, tongues lightly touching as they soothe the last few disgruntled feelings the best way they know how. “And his black AMEX.”

“I could have bought your ticket.”

“No. I needed to pay my own way this time.” They both laugh, shoulders shaking.

“How long do I get you?” He asks, moving a hand down to slide into the back pocket of her jeans. 

“Sunday morning. I have to be in class on Monday at 8:00am.” Luca nods, smiling brighter.

“I’ll take it. Anything with you.”

Liv agrees, then gives him one more smooch.

“Okay that’s about as much as I can do of that smell. It’s bringing back memories of my stinky brothers in the same car.”

“Yuck.” He sticks his tongue out. “Okay, I am going to shower then I’ll come grab you. Are you okay here? Do you need anything?”

“Just you to hurry.” A knowing passes between them. Liv scrapes her lip into her mouth, eyes becoming dark and wanting.

“Showering is the only thing that’s going to be fast today, pretty girl.” 

He tosses a wink, then disappears down the tunnel. Liv looks up, blushing when she sees a few lingering fans heard his words. 

[johnstock17]

"Amortentia Overdose" part 1

Romilda.

That was the thought that reigned in his head as he woke up. It was the only thought, really.

The full moon cast its silvery glow upon the darkened Gryffindor dormitory, illuminating Harry Potter’s restless form as he sat abruptly on his bed. His heart pounded with a primal rhythm, each beat sending waves of desire coursing through his body.

He was consumed by lustful thoughts of Romilda Vane, whose seductive smile and bewitching eyes had ensnared him. As beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, Harry knew that mere dreams could not quench his thirst for Romilda. He needed to find her. To touch her. To taste her.

"Let's see where you are," he whispered hoarsely to himself.

He reached to grab the Marauder’s Map from his trunk. He usually used it for emergencies. Which is why it felt right in this situation. With a deft flick of his wrist, he tapped his wand and muttered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He really meant it.

The map sprang to life, revealing the intricate layout of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the whereabouts of every soul within its walls.

"Romilda Vane," Harry breathed, his eyes scanning the parchment hungrily. His pulse quickened when he finally located her name. She was in the library, accompanied by Parvati Patil. "Of course," he murmured, recalling how studious both girls were known to be. "Late-night study session."

With trembling hands, he reached for his invisibility cloak, hidden not far away. The soft fabric slid over his skin like a lover's caress, fueling his anticipation. Donning the cloak, Harry vanished from sight, leaving only a gentle rustle of fabric in his wake. He crept out of the dormitory, every fiber of his being focused on Romilda. The castle's cold stone floors beneath his feet did little to cool the fire that burned within him.

As he walked stealthily, thoughts of her reigned in his mind. Her coy smile, her playful freckles… her figure. The mandatory robes and garments from the school were usually a teenage boy’s enemy, but as Harry began to recall, Romilda always looked more than splendid. The way her school uniform hugged her body, flowy in some spots yet restrictive in all the right places. Back then, Harry played dumb, but he did notice how the curve of her butt made her skirt slightly shorter, or how her breasts defined the front of her shirt.

Another thing that he chose to ignore at the time, but now couldn’t keep out of his mind was all the signs Romilda had thrown his way. The lingering looks, the hearty laughs. Even those times where she deliberately went up the stairs in front of him, giving him a front row seat to watch her backside as her hips swayed with each step.

The castle's corridors seemed to stretch on forever, winding and dimly lit by the flickering torches. Harry's heart pounded in his chest like a wild animal as he looked for his prey. His breathing was labored, his eyes focused.

"Romilda," he whispered into the darkness, her name a salve to his aching soul. "I’m coming for you."

He couldn't help but be consumed by thoughts of her, the way her dark curls framed her face, her eyes sparking like embers in the firelight. Each memory of Romilda fanned the flames of his yearning, leaving him hungry for her touch.

"Damn it, focus, Potter," he chided himself, realizing he'd nearly missed a turn that would have taken him far from the library. With renewed purpose, he pressed on.

"Who's there?" a familiar voice called out suddenly, stopping Harry dead in his tracks. He held his breath, his heart leaping into his throat.

Professor McGonagall stood in the middle of the passageway, lamp in one hand and wand in the other. Harry remained still, not moving a muscle. The older woman inspected her surroundings with caution. After not detecting anything, she calmed down and whispered, "Must've been my imagination." After that, she carried on with her patrol down a separate hallway.

Harry exhaled slowly, cursing his carelessness. If she had caught him, his quest to find Romilda would have ended before it even began.

Too close, he thought to himself, forcing his limbs back into motion. I need to be more vigilant.

As he neared the library, the scent of old parchment and leather-bound books wafted through the air, a subtle reminder of the countless secrets these walls had borne witness to throughout the centuries. It was fitting, then, that tonight would hold yet another secret – one he and Romilda would share, their connection forged in the shadows of these hallowed halls.

Almost there, Harry thought, his pulse quickening. Soon, she'll know how much I need her.

With every step closer to the library, the thrumming of his heart grew louder, drowning out all other sounds. He could almost taste the intoxicating mix of power and vulnerability that awaited him just beyond the door.

When the heavy oak doors finally swung open before him, revealing the dimly lit room where Romilda sat, he stepped in with resolve.

"Romilda," he whispered under his breath, "I'm here."

[problematicfanfics]

something i wrote out of desperation for my mind’s preservation as i left my cousin’s house from the hurricane evac

god. this town in my purgatory.

a middle class working family’s wet dream. kids roaming the streets, streets safe enough their parents don’t have to be informed before they walk out the garage door. streets safe enough elementary schoolers walk and bike and take electrical scooters to get to class alone. streets safe enough that the only menaces on them are the unattended twelve year olds kicking the knocked down streets signs from hurricanes.

the roundabouts that make me nauseous, that all look the same; an eeriness of debating whether you have to make one turn around or two, hell if you know because every single exit is lined in the same manner with the same trees, seeing the same font and sign in front of every neighborhood. “Connerton” and “Lista” and “The Armons”. even the names sound middle-class stuffy.

the pit that wells in my stomach as i sit in the bland guest bedroom, with showroom bedspread, what you’d see in a college boys dorm magazine. thinking how having seen the inside of my family’s house means i’ve practically seen the inside of every house on the block. copy and paste the same four house colors, so perfect to the point the HOA nuts their pants when they drive down the block. high as i sit in the room with three light switches but only one light, an unworking overhead fan, and three small motion detection night lights on each of the three open walls (the room is so small you can barely fit yourself between the sides of the bed without hitting the walls, save for the very skinny night stand with water damage courtesy of my last stay)

and palm trees. who just casually has palm trees lining their neighborhood? just rows, with neat little dessert plants perfectly planted around it, circled in cute carefully placed hand-picked rocks because shit, that’s what we paid for, isn’t it? every detail?

i thought being high there ruined me, but really being sober for the week just made it all that much worse.

and after 20 minutes of driving just to leave purgatory, you’re now met with the south. “GOOD CHRISTIANS FOLLOW JESUS” and “(83) FOR - TRUTH” billboards smack you out of the suburbia and white lies you told yourself that we’re safe, you’re safe, we’re good, as if the world doesn’t continue to turn just outside the stop light that divides alleged divinity from hell.

even four days after the hurricane we pass trees fallen on houses and business signs strewn across the road; but not in suburbia, no. suburbia was barely touched. somehow, some way, they were safe. i don’t understand.

why couldn’t i have been safe like they are?

what i would’ve done to be safe when i was their age. if id have known it existed.

and yet, as i said my goodbyes and stepped into the elevator of my dorm, that pit in my stomach never went away. no, in fact, it got worse. it made me realize i will never have that. at least not the way they have it. the only way i can ever touch that life is when i am old and middle working class of my own, with my own little boy and girl, too swamped with work to keep affording our mortgage to care about where my kids are. and as i kissed my grandma and grandpa goodbye i imagined how they had lived through ten times worse than i have, and yet they were happy for us (well, for as coherent as my grandpa could be). how?

and sick to my stomach i hit floor four. and sick to my stomach i sipped my matcha. and sick to my stomach running down my dorm halls i thought about already spending the $100 my grandma gave me in two neatly folded fifty dollar bills discreetly slipped into my hand at the airport when we picked her up on a new cart.

because i’ll never be happy. i just won’t. i won’t make myself happy. and maybe the purgatory wasn’t the suburbia but my realization that i will never be safe.

[sweetmusingss]

Charles chuckled softly when you called him a big baby, not minding it because that was just the way that you usually spoke to him. “Ok, très bien. Je vais poser les gants pour l'instant,” he said, smiling softly when you sat beside him and kissing the top of your head gently before starting to eat breakfast with you.

Oscar looked back towards the window just in time to see Charles kissing the top of your head and the two of you looking loved up. He swallowed hard before looking back down at his own breakfast and shrugging a bit from Lando’s words. “Just preparing myself I guess.. And please don’t tell anyone. I don’t want Zak to murder me,” he said. “But yeah, of course. I have Sophie and she for some reason likes being my friend surprisingly. Even if I was single, she would never see me like that and she has Charles,” he said, seriously not seeing that there would ever be a chance that a girl like you could like him. He was surprised enough you wanted to be his friend.

“People here are only looking for juicy gossip... you and Nay falling asleep next to one another platonically is not that juicy. If either of you were naked, now that would make its rounds. Don’t worry about it too much... How is Sophie doing, by the way? Does she think she can make it out here?” Lando was so proud of himself right now, so surprised with how calm, cool and collected he was being. He wasn’t usually good at playing undercover detective like this, but he was just trying to see if there was any telltale sign that Oscar had any interest in me and where his head was at in terms of Sophie. “Also, I don’t think that’s true... Renee doesn’t just bond with people like that. You’d be surprised about the inner workings of her brain... and even more surprised by what she tells Katie... who tells Max... who tells me.” Lando knew he was laying the breadcrumbs for Oscar, hoping his friend would pick up on them and realize that I did actually like him. A lot more than I liked Charles.

I sat with Charles and we talked while we ate. Charles and I never had an issue with conversation, always loving that about him, but the conversation was so... normal. Which anyone else would find good, including the version of myself that was obsessed with Charles 48 hours ago. But now that I had a taste of conversing with someone who had the same exact messed up humor as me, everything else felt dull and muted. There were so many jokes I wanted to make to Charles that I knew he wouldn’t get, knowing that Oscar would toss his head back with a laugh if I hit him with it though. They were so different and it was painfully obvious as I sat here and talked to Charles.

__

“Okay, I know you are Daddy and all but there is no way that I am letting you front row. Besides, I am not even that close to the fans. Sometimes I miss being able to touch fans hands and watch them freak out but there were too many instances of people reaching out to touch my legs or men jumping onstage and I can’t have a panic attack onstage. Not a good look,” I say honestly to you. “I would be worried about you but if you’re in the VIP tent, I know there’s security nearby. And that’s where any celebrities who want to come see me watch from. And I know how much you love meeting celebrities,” I tease you, staring back at you with bright blue eyes.

“Baby, I love you but you’re not exactly causing mosh-pits out there. I think my 6ft frame would be just fine. For at least one show, Lando and I wanna be in the crowd. We’d have so much fun just vibing in the crowd and seeing other fans absolutely freak out if you even just glance in their direction.” Max chuckled, rubbing your thigh in soothing circles. “That’s another reason why I’d love to not be in the VIP tent... I don’t really wanna hangout with people who ask for the VIP tent, you know what I mean? That’s a place for Charles and George and Lewis... I don’t really wanna be there. I wanna be in the crowd. It’s easier for me to blend in out there. Lando may have an issue. He’s way more recognizable than me.”

[influencermagazineuk]

Seventeen Makes History at Glastonbury: K-Pop Takes Center Stage

When Leah Townsend and Taz Delarosa bought their Glastonbury tickets last year, they never imagined their favorite K-pop band would join the lineup. “I cried so much when we found out,” shared Delarosa, 26. “This is going to be massive for them.” “I was over the moon,” added Townsend, also 26. “We didn’t think it was going to happen.” 뉴스인스타, CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons On Friday afternoon, Seventeen took to the Pyramid Stage, making history as the first K-pop band to ever perform at Glastonbury. Fans, who coined the term "GlasTeen" for the event, saw this as a monumental moment, especially since K-pop is often overlooked by Western festivals. Some dedicated fans traveled all the way from South Korea to see the band perform in Somerset. Byeongiu Lee, 36, expressed his excitement: “A lot of British people don’t know Seventeen, but this is a meaningful moment for us. We came to witness history. I flew more than 14 hours for this. I am really proud of them. It’s like a dream.” Seventeen, a South Korean 13-piece boyband, produces its own music, with members involved in songwriting, production, and choreography. The group performs as a full ensemble and in three subgroups specializing in hip-hop, vocals, and performance, explaining their name: 13 members + 3 teams + 1 group. The group had the best-selling album worldwide last year and were the second biggest-selling artists of 2023, just behind Taylor Swift, according to the IFPI. Performing at Glastonbury, a prestigious festival with a 200,000-strong crowd, was a significant honor for them. On stage, they said, “We are extremely honored to be here. We’ll show you what kind of team Seventeen is.” Townsend remarked, “K-pop is becoming more accepted and global. It’s huge that they’re the first K-pop band to play Glastonbury. This helps break the barrier and bring K-pop to the rest of the world. I’m so happy for them – and for me.” SEVENTEEN, CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons Ewan Zhang, 32, from London, added, “K-pop is becoming much more international, and I’m thrilled to see it on a bigger stage now. It’s a genre that encapsulates everything. This is my first time seeing them live, and I’m very excited.” When Seventeen burst onto the stage with their slick dance moves and captivating energy, the front rows were packed with fans wearing custom T-shirts and holding homemade signs. Zoe Li, 32, waved a flag with the Seventeen logo and a sign saying “Aju Nice,” the title of her favorite song. “I love their dancing and choreography,” she said. “This is huge for them, and I really hope they get a good crowd. The songs are catchy, regardless of the language. I hope they gain more fans from this.” Seventeen's Glastonbury set follows girl group Blackpink, who made history last year as the first K-pop group to headline a UK festival at BST Hyde Park. Hundreds of Seventeen fans worldwide spent the past week urging the BBC to livestream the band’s set globally after the broadcaster announced it would do so for headliners Dua Lipa and Coldplay. Many in the crowd may have been experiencing K-pop for the first time. Seventeen member Seungkwan previously told NME, “Some of the audience might not know us well, but we hope everyone leaves with the impression that these guys can really smash it on stage.” Read the full article

[f0point5]

I'll admit I went to see Lando at his hotel last year with my friend. We can't afford gp tickets so this was essentially our only chance. It was raining non stop for hours so we thought not many people would stay and there weren't.

Most people were pretty chill, some girls tried to push us out from the front, I actually got pushed back a row so I gave my friend my hat I wanted signed so maybe she can get it done, but I was content with the thought that he might not show or might not stop.

Oscar arrived first and man.... People were so rude and dismissive of him. Iirc my friend got a pic with him, he was so sweet though. But when Lando arrived. Literally people crawled out of the pavement, like we tripled in minutes. And it was the 20-30 something DUDES that started pushing the people in the front, yelling, almost knocking the barricade down (yes theres barricade at every hotel in my country now lol). I almost got crushed and Lando quickly abandoned our side, totally understandable. The entitlement is crazy.

My friend wants to try going this year again, to see the Ferrari boys. I'd love to see Carlos and Max but it's insane. I honestly felt so bad for Lando, while also being over the moon that I got my hat signed and I got to see him irl (he's such a short king lmao) but I'm not sure I could stomach this again. It was worse than any concert I ever front rowed, and I did a lot. And just the plain disrespect.

And I also know that the middle aged men who push like 10 pictures into their faces to sign, taking away their time and effort are just gonna sell those anyways and it makes me so furious.

Firstly, fuck anyone who’s mean to Oscar ugh 😣

Crawling out of the pavement ☠️☠️☠️ deceased I laughed hard at that

That really sounds like a nightmare for my agoraphobic ass i am actually impressed you survived.

I don’t know how they don’t get scared honestly like even if these are all just fans id be scared of some baby reindeer shit or just people getting mad I wouldn’t sign something. I do understand why they usually use private entrances ngl

[madisonbeersource]

NO WAY HELLO U GOT ONE OF THE DISK?!?! u deserve it so much im so happy for u :')))

pls tell me how was everything, i want to know.

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT MYSELF I GOT THE FUCKING SIGNED CONFETTI !! thank you so much baby ): I swear I never thought that would happen!!

it was....surreal! I drove 4 hours and a half to Paris, near the venue, changed and I arrived at like 3:40 pm cause paris is SO COMPLICATED TO FIGURE LIKE THE TRAFFIC? A NIGHTMARE qsdfghgf but got to see where i was born anyway i was like i'll go to the venue even if I have to be there a lil later and god there were so many people already so i went to a line but it was the king of everything line so i switched and met a SUPER NICE GIRL there she was alone too so we started chatting in line, got some goodies from fans, then the KOE vip got in, then we did, got some merch and went to the actual venue and waited for her Q&A, SHE WAS GLOWING she was so happy to be there and she did not stop smiling, we chatted a moment, she answered some questions, a fan came dressed as the home to another one alien so she was so happy about that! she said that she was so exited to come to paris to quote her "the highlight i was waiting for the whole tour" AW :') bear my kids anyway.

then she went to get dressed while we waiting for the 1st and 2nd part, and i bought a seated ticket i was supposed to be seated but w the girl i was with we saw that there was still room front row like very front row !! so we rushed there and we were like okay we see her so well let's stay?? like, there was us, the lil space where the security is, was giving us water it was so welcomed qsdfghgfds and then the stage!! fuck the seated ticket i would be so close to her, and actually from the confetti canonball sdfghgfdi could almost reach it. First part was actually amazing, I LOVED JANN like I didn't connect the dots but i already knew him since i am OBSESSED w "gladiator" so i got pretty hyped to see him. THEN MY BABY WENT ON STAGE!! everyone was SO GOOD i never had such an experience we all felt like we knew each other we sung together held hands and screamed the lyrics, she was glowing her voice was SO HEAVENLY BEAUTIFUL she even played the piano while singing at your worst which she normally would play on the guitar but she told us in the Q&A that she had a surprise for us, so it was even more special, and SHE LOOKED AT ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYES WHILE SINGING DEAR SOCIETY !!!!!! (maybe she recognized me cause she saw me right when her life support album came out we could pay for a zoom meeting and i got ticket for that and since she easily recognizes people she maybe did IDK BUT WE SHARED A SACRED MOMENT) i was dying i couldn't even fathom what was happening and still can't to be honest!! i have a few videos that i took (51 total lmaoo) and i got to capture this moment and i will cherish it forever. the whole concert ended too quickly we danced, we cried, we held hands and we screamed, honestly it was so good she cried while singing king of everything i think the energy got to her and she was so happy that she shed tears, special thanks to mama beer who was recording for a while and her brother that played the guitar for ryder!!

the confettis canonball was magical and the perfect ending to this beautiful night, and like she held the 2 flags we gave her in the Q&A and then she got out and then went back to dance w us one last time, and then we got some music for the end, and while i was taking all the confettis out of my body cause mind you i was literally in front of it, the light came back a lil and looked over at everything and then suddenly on the floor, and then i remembered the black confetti, so out of naivety i looked at the floor like literally the second i looked i saw a black circle i was like no that is imposisble, i reached for it light speed qsdghgfds and turned it over and it was her freaking signature on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was like OMGGGGGGG and some was like wtf where did you see it, and they took photos of it while i was over the moon w joy, the perfect ending of a perfect night ): i'll forever cherish it and i'll def go back to see her next time she comes to Paris!

you got the inside!! I hope it was clear for u, but i love you so much i wish we attended the concert together that would have been like a dream, but maybe someday<3

[megan-loves-surveys]

#18.

What are three things that make you feel sick to your stomach? 🤮: Other people vomiting, pieces of onion in things (onion flavour is fine, I just don't like the texture of them) and rotten egg smell.

Have you ever had food poisoning? 🤢: Yup. It was from an egg sandwich at a bakery, I think the eggs weren't refrigerated properly. Every single person that ate at that place got sick that day. It eventually went out of business lol.

What is your favorite shade of green? 💚: I like all shades.

What are three items on your current to-do list? ✅: Go to the gym, buy a few things (shapewear mainly) and check in with my BFF.

What is one of your favorite Christmas carols? 🎄: I dunno about carols, but I loveeeeee Girls Aloud's Christmas EP. Their original songs, especially "Count The Days", are gorgeous.

What are three things that you would buy if you were rich? 🤑: I'd just travel constantly, and come home to NZ in the summer. I'd also get front row seats to every WWE and AEW event lol.

Do you own a Nerf gun? 🔫: No.

Have you ever been a member of a 4H club? 🍀: No idea what that even is, lol.

Have you ever been to Washington state? 🌲: I've been to the airport there when I was transferring between San Francisco and Chicago.

What is your favorite thing about the beach? 🌴: I'm not a big fan of the beach, but I do like when you go and the weather is glorious.

Are you afraid of snakes? 🐍: We don't have snakes in my country, so I don't really have any experience with them xD

Do you think frogs are ugly? 🐸: No, they can be cute!

Are you Irish? ☘️: Yep, my last name couldn't get any more Irish if it tried (it has an apostrophe in it xD).

Name three things that you find refreshing. 🌿: Cold water, nice fresh air and a nice shower.

What are three things you like about spring? 🍃: Winter is over, it's getting warmer and the trees are going green again.

Do you like guacamole? 🥑: Not really.

Do you have spring allergies? 🌱: Definitely.

Are you currently waiting for something? 🐢: A few things, yeah.

What are three things that don’t exist, that you think it would be cool if they did? 🦖: Flying, a way to make sure I always had enough money and cheaper travel :P

Are you a bookworm? 🐛: Used to be, but sadly not anymore.

What is your favorite type of tree? 🌳: I don't know what the names of trees are lol.

Do you have a green thumb? 🧤: No.

Have you ever had kiwi by itself, not paired with strawberry? 🥝: All the time, tho in my country, it's called kiwifruit xD

Have you ever had a coworker named Liz? 🦎: No.

What are three of your favorite things to put on salads? 🥗: Mayo and that balsamic dressing.

What is your favorite vegetable? 🥦: Potatoes. Obviously. Also corn and peas.

Have you ever cut cucumbers? 🥒: No?

Who was/were your favorite high school teachers? 🍏: Miss Haywood was cool, she was my IT teacher.

Have you had COVID? 🦠: I definitely did, in 2022. I was sick far longer than I usually am with a cold, and I felt shitty for weeks after - I was tired by the middle of the day and kept getting dizzy. I think I had it again last year too, but I never tested so I can never be sure.

What’s your favorite type of salad dressing? 🥬: Mayo.

How often do you take the trash out? 🚛 : We put our bins out once every 2 weeks, but more often if they get super full.

When was the last time you completed a jigsaw puzzle? 🧩: Good lord, I have no clue.

What are three things that appeal to you about New York City? 🗽: So many things to do, I love that busy city feel and great shopping.

Do you own a pair of Crocs, and if so, what color are they? 🐊: Hell no. And if I ever wear a pair, please kick my ass cos I've clearly lost my mind LOL.

What is your Chinese zodiac sign? 🐲: Rabbit.

What is your favorite game show to watch? ❎: Dunno.

Do you own any succulents? 🎍: No.

What was the last type of fruit you ate? 🍈: Kiwifruit.

About how much time do you spend online in a day? ✳️: Too many hours lol.

Do you prefer canoeing or kayaking? 🛶: Neither.

What is your least favorite shade of green? 🟩: All of them are cool.

Name three things you hate or dislike that are green. 🟢: Green onions, that weird chives stuff that's in everything... hmm.

What makes you shine? ❇️: Dunno.

Do you prefer books or movies? 📗: Books.

Are you more reserved or outspoken? 🈯️: I can be both.

Do you like olives? 🫒: No.

Do you like pears? 🍐: Not really, I don't like the gritty texture.

Do you own a notebook made out of recycled paper? ♻️:? Not that I know of.

Have you ever performed a trick with a yo-yo?🪀: Maybe as a kid, yo-yos were a fad for awhile.

Do you like peppers? 🫑: Not particularly.

What are three of your favorite insects (or insects that you think look cool)? 🪲: Butterflies, and that's about it.

What is your favorite zoo animal? 🦚: Anything cute.

Would you ever dye your hair green? 🧑‍🎤: Perhaps, I already do blue and purple, green is not that much of a stretch.

When was the last time you had a juicebox?🧃: As a kid?

What is the highest level of science class you have completed? 🧪: None, lol.

What are three things that appeal to you about Japanese culture? 💹: They have the best music, video games, wrestling and video game music <3

Would you own a pet dragon if you could? 🐉: No.

Are you a tea drinker? 🍵: Only the bubble tea you get at places haha.

Do you like mangoes? 🥭: Yes.

Are you able to keep a plant alive? 🪴: Never really tried.

And last but not least, did you enjoy this survey? : Sure.

What’s your hair texture?

Very fine and thin. I wish it was thicker.

Do you have a certain spot in your house you go to for comfort?

I guess my room.

Do you play games on your phone?

Yes.

When was the last time you took medication?

The other day.

Would you rather do without sweet or salty snacks?

Sweets, I can't live without salty stuff.

Would you say that you are introspective?

Sure.

Do you enjoy buying gifts for others?

Yes.

Do you have any odd habits?

Depends what you consider odd.

Is acting something you’d enjoy? are you convincing?

I took Drama at school, but I don't think so.

When was the last time you couldn’t do something you had planned?

A couple of weeks ago when my friend got sick and had to cancel going to a wrestling show, he was my ride so I couldn't go either.

In what ways are you immature?

I love plushies haha <3

Does the weather impact your mood?

Oh yeah, shitty weather just ruins your mood.

Have you ever lost control of a car?

I don't drive.

Do you tend to be irrational or more realistic?

Realistic.

What was the last lie you told?

I told a white lie to a client at work the other day who was asking if their paper work had gone through, it hadn't, but I was tired of them calling to ask lol. So I said it had but the system was being slow so they'd shut up xD

What’s your thoughts on people having selfies as their phone backgrounds?

Who cares, it's their phone, they can do what they like. It doesn't affect you what their bg is like.

What is your phone background of?

On my lock screen, it's me with Five when I met them last week atm. On my main screen it's a photo of Mox xD

Have you ever purposely kept a library book?

No.

Are the Olympics something you get into?

Yes, about the only time I actually watch sports haha.

You’re given $500. what would you spend it on?

Wrestling merch and a few pairs of Converse!

Name something fun you do in your spare time.

Go to wrestling shows, I average 2 or 3 a month.

What did you get your first award for?

Something for English I'm sure.

How long do you spend online each day?

Too many hours.

Do you struggle with anxiety?

I can do.

Do you have anything close by that is soft and fluffy?

Not within reach, but I do have a super soft rug in my room xD

Does it bother you when people use all caps or all lower case letters?

Caps, yes. But when I message or type on Discord, I don't use capital letters at all so I can't complain about that xD The only time I use capital letters is when I'm on my phone and it automatically puts them.

Do you prefer lamps or overhead lights?

Both.

Chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla milkshake?

Chocolate or strawberry.

What’s something or someone you’ll always defend?

Jon Moxley. Always and forever.

Would you or have you ever dyed your hair blue?

Yep!

[alexstorm]

Show me one clip where Alex did anything other than winking, waving or blowing kisses at the audience? He never started any chats with fans who held up signs. I also didn’t say he doesn’t pay attention to the audience. I said he doesn’t interact or acknowledges much. // honestly even when people talk about how they miss the crowd interaction during the eycte tour I really don’t think there was a tonne. Sure, he was more relaxed and outgoing but it’s still not the same level as the singers who seem to spend more time talking to the crowd than actually just doing the songs (again,I think that’s a sign of an artist who is making up for subpar music instead of just letting the music do the talking). Alex doesn’t need to make a spectacle of himself to make a show engaging, I find him fascinating enough just watching him sing and play.

I do love that TLSP gig moment (can’t remember which) though where he’s singing to a girl stood on someone’s shoulders and he just keeps singing “she’s so stunning, standing on the shoulders of love.” because if that happened to me I’d want to bring it up constantly for the rest of my life lol

Hahaha!!! True that. But TLSP was also smaller venues and therefore closer to the audience. I mean we all remember him “fingering” (😂) the entire front row while singing and being sweaty. That’s not something that would happen with AM. This tour is the first time where he instead of dry humping the piano he projects to the audience. 😄 But even that is like you said not on the same level as any of the pop stars.