#i am a beywarrior

[felivi2763]

i miss beyblade (a metal top toy flavoured rant)

DISCLAIMER: i am an idiot, take everything i say here with a grain of salt. feel free to attack me as you see fit. ok bai

i miss when beyblade metal fusion first started airing on cartoon network. just something about how all the toy shelves were lined with beyblades from the show, its a sight that would let me sleep easy at night if i knew that dark bull was still on store shelves. just walking into a local target with my brother, picking up a Galaxy Pegasus W105R2F, looking at all the flashy artwork on the back. then when i got home i could unbox the bey, feel the pristine condition of the rubber performance tip, apply the stickers on the bey and launcher (and try not to mess it up), then i could use the lil code card to play online at beybladebattles.com. and then i would always spin the bey onto the tiled floor and watch it just kinda move slowly bc i didnt get a stadium until like 6 months later. idk its the kinda sensation that cant really be replicated today with beyblade burst and its 17 different subseries. or maybe im just mad that they got rid of the high quality metal tops for cheaper plastic ones hell if i know.

in my opinion (i legally cant have opinions bc i own lego rockband ds), i kinda like the characters from the metal series better than burst, but thats probably just nostalgia fog. ill probably rewatch both series at some point, but the fact that beyblade is pretty much dead here in americaland doesnt help matters.

at least beyblade burst always stuck to tops, though. beyblade split into all sorts of other things after metal fury, like beywheelz, beyraiderz, beywarriors, and also all the weird lil beyblades that you couldnt take apart like all the others, like the rc beys, light up beys, sfx beys, and the tornado beys. but even then that deviates from the classic formula and makes it interesting. beyblade burst doesnt really do that as far as i can tell, besides making the beys slightly bigger.

thats kinda why the classic beyblade series died off, though. they were too busy seeing if they could and not stopping to wonder if they should. if they stuck to the original formula, that would get boring after a while, but beyblade burst showed that there still is a market for the original spinning top formula. maybe if they were able to bring back a classic resurgence for like an anniversary (15th anniversary coming in May 2025) or something like that, beyblade would become relevant again, and i stand by that.

its probably a farfetched concept, though. the higher ups at hasbro probably see beyblades as just a way to sell spinning tops, endlessly trying to put more gimmicks onto, "the MOST powerful beyblade yet!", all in an attempt just to try and make a quick buck. it just doesn't seem feasible with a company like that at the reigns, i really dont think they would care about doing some type of legacy content like that (i know that beyblade legends was a legacy release that they did in 2014, and that line is great, i have a few of the beys from there, looking to make a full collection someday, i just wanna see these lil dinkers on target shelves again).

also something i wanted to mention, but i recently found out a couple of months ago while searching for beyblade video games that there was an original beyblade manga and anime and toy line before metal fusion. i wanna try and see what thats all about, and maybe try and pick up some metal fusion manga while im at it.

tl;dr: i miss the good ol days of beyblade, and i want them to bring it back. pls target and hasbro and wbba

[novumoru]

since only 4 episodes of beywarriors are available online let me use a screencap with very accurate subs to summarize what it’s about and why it’s a really good show:

[mach-speed-spin]

I’d like to thank @crystalkleure for an old post that contained the link to Beywarriors: Cyborg in the original Japanese (with English subs)

I’ve been looking for this for years and cannot put into words how excited I am. The closest I can come up with “LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO” but that is only scratching the surface of my excitement. Now I’m off to watch the series

Edit: Turns out the English subs were actually not English but the OP is in English which is why the subs were in English for the first 90 seconds. I’ll still watch it though

[shinynewtoysyndrome]

Even more realizations on Beywarriors: Cyborg

1.) Continuing with the energy politics theme of the series and extrapolating from the fact that the planet is named Teslandia and its main character Nico, it isn’t a stretch to assume that the other Lightning beybattler, Al, whose basic personality is that of the rather archetypal glory hound, was based on someone as well. Gee, I wonder if Nikola Tesla ever partnered, however briefly and unproductively, with a guy who was like that- okay, screw subtlety. Al is probably named for Thomas Alva Edison.

2.) Incidentally, that would actually be weird, since they should’ve at least named someone else after Edison, probably the King dude.

3.) I am overanalyzing a show I watched that I didn’t particularly like until after I spent way too long staring at how ridiculous it is and how it was odd that it, a merchandise-driven anime, even have anything to do with a high concept.

4.) It could be possible that the show was meant to have an ensemble cast of characters who are meant to be complex. My theory is that they started with a protagonist who was grounded and sensible, developed the opposing teams, added complex personalities to the opponents to make them interesting, and finally decided to make it a more ensemble story... only to forget to develop the central protagonist. It happens.

[prezaki]

Dear Hasbro and everyone else really,

I will pay you literally anything you want. You don’t need another fanbase. I will buy all those toys. Don’t believe me?? I bought like 3 of the same Beywheelzs and I keep buying more. AND THOSE THINGS DON’T EVEN DO MUCH.

So trust me. I will buy your shit.

Just give me my TV shows in return.

Thanks.

[novumoru]

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME A NEW EPISODE OF BEYWARRIORS CYBORG HAS BEEN UPLOADED

[shinynewtoysyndrome]

Previously on the Finale of Beywarriors: Cyborg, Part 1

Bran, the big bad: Sayonara, suckers. Hope you like Savage Destroyer! Don't feel too bad that your planet is a worthless piece of shit.

Ramon, el freaky fish guy: Language, amigo.

Abridger's note: Ramon is Hispanic here for obvious reasons. He wasn't Hispanic in the Toonami English dub.

Al: Fish guy got better abs than me. Alright fangirls. Forget blandie. Ship me with the fish guy!

Ramon: My name is Ramon. You're killing my homeworld. Prepare to feel our collective wrath.

Bran: As if. These human nations couldn't collude even if their lives depended on it.

Nico, in an over-the-top hero voice (which if you think about it is his normal everyday voice): THAT'S WHERE YOUR WRONG, FIEND.

Bran: You're lying, bland kid. Go home and, I dunno, emigrate to the Orb Union or something. You'd fit right in.

Nico: My patriotic fervor makes a nonsense of your obtuse attempts at making fun of my perceived lack of a personality.

Flame Trio, along with their Bey Warrior Bit Beast Cyborg thingies: 'Sup Vanilla.

Nico: I'm still not getting it. Why are you calling me that?

Flame Trio: Is it seriously not getting to you that we think you're bland.

Nico: Look, if we all took too much time on personal matters like you do, we're never gonna get the job done.

Al: Well that makes sense.

Flame Trio: A consummate professional. We respect that.

Nico: That's not what you said the other times.

Flame Trio: Just run and set the plan in motion. We've got this.

Nico: Good call.

Flame Trio: Nope, we don't got this.

Nico: Oh, come on. Do I have to do everything around here?

Flame Trio: Just go, you walking piece of cardboard.

Gai: You're not the only one who's got this.

Bran: Guy, I thought we had something evil together.

Gai: Oh, I've been saving such a redeemed hero speech for this.

Voiceover: Attention people of Teslandia. Apparently we've all been played like a bunch of suckers and the real enemy had always been that alien dude named bran. Uggghhh. He must dine on gluten and all that. Anyway, that trio of military dudes plus that burly vigilante guy are all playing hero.

Prime Minister of the Lightning State: Didn't we hire that no-nonsense cardboard kid to play our hero? Why hasn't he upstaged them yet #Lightin'FuckYeah

Ramon: Madre de Hydra Akheilos.

Nico: Okay, so we got Dragoon in place. What now.

Dr. Prost but now has Cryaotic's personality: Hey Blue. Red here and I were just about to use that blowhard's technology against him.

Nico: How long will it take?

Dr. Prost: It should be done by-

Sola: MOTOR SKILLS!

Dr. Prost: Agggghhhh

King August the Dramatic: Here I come for my heroic redemption arc.

Bran: So you're all betraying me left and right. Touching, you're all united now. Filthy swine.

King August the once bad but now good: Ahh, to be rounded and complex. Wouldn't you say. This is how heroes are meant to be. BYRONIC! EAT YOUR HEART OUT, uhh...

Marius: Nico, sire!

King August the temperamental: Smithers, release the Warriors!

Marius: Yes sir!

Bran: You can't win, I'm too powerful.

Nico: That's what you think!

Flame Trio, King, Smithers, and Gai: Great. Upstaged once again by off-brand Canadian hero product.

Bran: You were better off with Johnny Test.

Nico: The joke's on you because I have no idea what that is!

Nico: Oh you have got to be kidding me.

Bran: Awww, does widdle bland kid want to run home to his gramps.

Nico: I'm a brunet.

Everyone: YOU'RE A BLOND.

Bran: A dumb blond.

King August the Blond: I am offended by that.

Nico: Blond as in yellowish hair or bland as in nondescript and lacking in features.

Al: Darn it, why does everyone get to be a hero but me? I've got better abs than all these suckas.

Gai and Ramon: AHEM.

Nico: As if you need to be ripped to be a hero.

Gai: You bit thingy may be stronger than me, but I can still make things haaaa-

Gai: SHIT WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH.

Nico: I know right?

King August the Observant: We dented it.

Gere of the Flame Trio: We'll dent it again.

Both: GOOOO SHOOOOOOT

Nico: I won't let your sacrifice be in vain!

All three of them: But we're not yet dead.

Al: Bring out your dead!

Nico: I understood that reference!

Ramon: Of all the references bland man could've gotten. Anyhow, ninos, while you were battling, I was making sure that Bran was distracted. Now go extract the energy from that behemoth and lets finish this. Vamos!

Bran: You can-

Ramon: And now you'll be done in by your own pocket dimension tech.

Bran: FUUUUUUUCCCK

Ramon: What do you know. The blue guy with the abs beat the villain.

Al: I don't think he's using the Spanish language correctl-oowwwww using Lightning Griffin as a shield hurts. But if this shared pain means being a hero, so be it.

Nico: They did their part. Now it's my turn!

Al: He did it.

The rest of them: All that character development to be upstaged by a talking piece of cardboard.

Nico: Awww, shucks guys. We all did it. Together.

Gere: Wait, so your normal personality is a humble, friendly, socially awkward teen?

Nico: I thought that was obvious.

Gai: We went around thinking you didn't have one, what with your near monomaniacal obsession with acting the part of the hero.

Nico: PROFESSIONALISM!

Prime Minister of the State of Lighting: Lightning, Fuck Yeah.

Ramon: Wait, amigos. Something isn't right.

Nico: Well, thank you, Ms. Clavell.

[shinynewtoysyndrome]

Previously on Beywarriors: Cyborg

ShinyNewToySyndrome: When we last saw the show our heroes are confronting King August, who had decided to serve the bad guy.

King August the Notschneizel: Bitch you're damn right I'm not an expy of Schneizel. I'm Lelouch reborn.

Nico: I don't even know who that is. And why would you take pride in being a blatant copycat of someone else?

King August the totallylikelelouch: How's the whole generic hero biz going, Tyson Granger.

Nico: My name is Nico. Nico Prost. Hello? I don't know where you're getting this whole Tyson Granger bit.

King August the CLAMP Probably Sued for his design: You're really not into the whole referential humor thing, are you. And wasn't there someone else with that name?

Nico: Between the lollygagging and the "joining forces with the invaders" bit do you seriously want to get us all killed.

King August the Increasingly Frustrated: I'm sorry. What?

Nico: Can we just go back to me attempting to tell you that what you're doing is counterintuitive to your goal of serving the people of your state and that you're being played by the invaders for what appears to be the second time.

King August: I don't have to listen to you. I am good at a children's top game!

Nico: You're seriously going to allow us to rui- Oh God it hurts. Graaaaaaaaaamppppppps.

Dr. PewdieProst: I don't caaaaaaaaaaarrreeeeee!!!!!!!

Nico: Now that the horrid bout of pain is over. Seriously, your highness, are you failing to see the logic of the whole "drain our planet of energy" leaving everyone in a worse off state than we ever were back when we squabbled for- aaaaaaaagggghhhhh

King August the Needlessly Sadistic: That's right bland protagonist boy. Holler in pain and kneel before your king.

Al: I ain't quitting you.

Nico: Say what?

Al: I mean. I'm totally helping you

ShinyNewToySyndrome: Turns off the TV and takes a power nap.

Nico: Is it just me or are we the only people with a generally logical idea of the stakes involved here?

Al: Bae u smart.

Nico: Come again?

Al: Sorry. How do we beat His Unrighteous Hineyness over there.

King August the Sensitive to Namecalling: I can hear you, peasants!

Al: Seriously, though, are you really this bland?

Nico: Excuse me?

King August the Redundantly Stating the Obvious: What he's saying is that you're always on. Don't you have downtime?

Nico: We're in a desert planet and in dire need of energy. When you're off saving the planet at the age of 15, I'm pretty sure you're gonna have to be prepared to put everything aside.

King August the Puzzled: He's committed, I'll tell you that.

Al: Yeah.

Nico: I do have dreams, though. Sometimes I pretend I'm in a dramatic life-or-death situation where I fly a mech made of a special metal instead of just commanding Dragoon here based on an ill-defined special bond. No offense, D.

Dragoon: ???

Nico: But naw, Teslandia doesn't nearly have enough resources to create giant anthropomorphic vehicles for military applications. So this'll have to do!

ShinyNewToySyndrome: Turns off the TV AGAIN like the lazy fat slob he is.

Nico: Hold on. We destroyed the machine powering that thing. How the heck is it not defeated.

Big Bad: Silly misplaced genericized Gundam protagonist, I only needed to make my bit beast thingy to be attached to that umbilical device for a short time, upon which it can drain the planet of its energy itself.

Al: I did not see that coming.

Nico: Admittedly, it is clever how we were delayed long enough for that bit beast to not have to rely on the plug anymore.

King August of I Done Fucked Up Now: I done fucked up now.

Nico: Oh, well. On to business. We'll challenge you instead.

Big Bad: Ugh, fine.

Nico: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGHHHHH who's dumb idea was it for us to feel pain whenever the bit beast things get attacked?

Dr. PewdieProst: SHUT UP GRANDSON. YOU'RE A FUCKING DISGRACE!!!!!

ShinyNewToySyndrome: Turns off the TV and just dozes off.

Dr. PewdieProst: BARRRELLLLSS

[novumoru]

nico is done with august’s bullshit

[novumoru]

i hope that one day the beywarriors dub will emerge and i can finally make everyone watch it and uh understand it myself because it’s literally 80% talking about politics and energy and i... don’t know a thing about these things

[novumoru]

“i don’t care about marius and august” *spends 20 minutes looking for this gay lightsaber fencing scene*

[novumoru]

[novumoru]

why /was/ there even the special was the special the pilot so they could get the thing approved? why was ramon younger than the actual later main characters or was the main story already planned out and they knew they’d have him grow a little? though the special made it sound a lot like the main plot was supposed to happen shortly after it... and not a thousand years later and when was the decision to not show it in north america made? when they realized that beyraiderz had failed? or was it due to the content? though the english dub exists (somewhere in the hammerspace the warriors disappear to) so someone has to have approved of it. right? or did they take the ratings in italy into account and decide it was not worth it (though idk how good or bad it went there, though them not showing all of it is probbly not a good sign)

[novumoru]

let’s have a beybattle *punches you in the gut*

[novumoru]

I don’t even know how to play with a beyraider

probably not like this

[novumoru]

Beywarriors is the weirdest thing in this whole franchise because I have no idea how they even got the basic ideas through without anyone stopping them. who was the target audience? Was it meant for kids? Since it was requested by nelvana (or whoever responsible) it must have been meant for the american market and they knew their violent scenes would probably not be tolerated. But the basic system of the beyfighter being connected already sets the base for the later following very.... direct battles. And if it was meant for teens the toys would have been a problem?? they’re.... bad?? and useless?? And who thought either of these groups would be interested in an electricity themed setting? It’s super cool but what does bey have to do with energy politics. like We did have that theme before... but not as outright as naming your planet (and your main character) after Nikola fucking Tesla and base your cities off of energy sources. I just really want to know the production history of this mess