#i am a PERFECTIONIST

[chaoticaesthete]

a procrastinator who wants to: get good grades, read books, have a proper sleep schedule, complete stuff on her watch lists, have fun occasionally with her friends, and still want her down time. a fucking vicious loop for an eternity.

[anothertorturedpoett]

[aaliyawrites]

From Perfectionism to Progress: Aaliya's Story of Breaking Free from Procrastination

Hey there, I’m Aaliya, the pen with a story to tell. I’ve been with my human, V, since 2018, and trust me, it’s been quite the journey. I’ve seen her smile, cry, win, lose, fall in love, and sink into some deep pain. Her path’s been full of confusion, heavy expectations, and, well, let’s just say, a lot of procrastination. But through it all, she’s kept going. That takes courage — even if she’d never admit it.

You see, V’s methods aren’t always the best (and yes, sometimes they suck), but her heart is in the right place. This blog? It’s not about her past (at least, not all of it). It’s about where she’s at right now. But hey, a little context never hurt anyone, right?

V’s Battle with Perfectionism: The Journey to Self-Acceptance

Let’s get one thing straight: V is human. Shocking, right? You’re probably rolling your eyes, but it’s important. She forgets that a lot. In her world, her worth is tied up in accomplishments — money, looks, killer communication skills, friendships, or finding her "perfect" crew (think Luffy’s gang, for you anime fans).

She’s convinced that if she doesn’t check all those boxes, she’s just… not enough. She believes that if she doesn’t have it all, people will leave her behind. And if you’re sitting there thinking, "Well, that’s wrong," you’re absolutely right. But does she know that? Sure. Does she feel it, though? Not quite.

Knowing something’s wrong doesn’t mean you can magically stop feeling it.

Meet the Monster of Procrastination

For too long, V has been stuck battling Profecta — the monster born from perfectionism and procrastination. She’s caught in an exhausting loop where her efforts never feel good enough, and there’s always something more she thinks she should have done. This creates a void inside, filled with guilt and shame, which leads to procrastination — a victory for Profecta, her inner perfectionism.

Has she tried to escape this cycle? Absolutely. But she usually lasts 3-7 days before something breaks her rhythm. Overload or distraction stops her, and it takes her another 1-2 months to get back on track.

Love, Loss, and a Whole Lot of Mess

V, like anyone in their twenties, has loved with all she had. Her first love? Miss K. Yep, Miss. But Miss K didn’t return those feelings. She wasn’t interested in girls, in general. Even though V never fully accepted her feelings or confessed, they stayed friends. Miss K was her Safe Place — full of love, acceptance, care, and support But when their paths diverged, V convinced herself that she wasn’t worthy of Miss K’s time and never contacted her again. Also, those emotions connected to Miss K? Way too overwhelming for V to face.

Two years have passed, and V is still holding on. Too much? Welcome to the mess.

Did she try to move on? Of course! But she couldn’t bring herself to delete Miss K’s number. She’d still watch her stories online, and instead of deleting photos, she just hid them in a folder. Silly, right? But facing her feelings was too hard. So, she buried them under distractions.

Escaping into Fiction: A False Safe Place

When battling the Profecta monster became too much, V sought comfort in a form of escape — creating a fictional world where she felt safe and loved. It became her refuge, but soon it turned into an unhealthy coping mechanism. Instead of preparing for her exams during her gap year, she threw herself into fanfiction, reading it for 13-15 hours a day. Not exaggerating.

She isolated herself from the real world, cut off friends, and stopped replying to messages. Why? Because she felt she wasn’t enough. She’d suffered two huge academic setbacks, and even after taking a gap year, she couldn’t get back on track. The weight of her past failures made the present feel unbearable, so she sought refuge in a fictional world, even at the cost of her health, sleep, and academics.

The Turning Point: Letting Go of Miss K and Fiction

V cared deeply for Miss K and didn’t want to hurt her. She didn’t mind if her escape ruined her, as long as Miss K was safe. But one day, V’s thoughts took a darker turn. She imagined hurting Miss K emotionally, just to make her feel the same pain V was feeling. It shocked her.

That was when V knew she had to change. She deleted Miss K’s number, erased the photos, and cut all ties. She even stopped reading fanfiction — something she had tried and failed to do before.

A New Battle: Seeking Comfort in Unhealthy Escapes

Without her fictional escape, V felt lost. So, she turned to another unhealthy coping mechanism. Let’s just say it involved content that didn’t make her feel any better. She started seeking comfort in role-playing communities, hoping to find real love and comfort. But it only messed with her mental health even more.

Journaling: A Ray of Hope for Healing

Despite all the struggles, there’s been one thing that helps V find her way back: Journaling. When she sticks to it, things start to shift. Journaling helps her process the chaos inside her head. It’s not a perfect solution — she’s had bad days that stop her in her tracks — but it’s a start.

This is why V decided to start writing on Aaliyawrites. Because, let’s face it, Aaliya writes ;) .Through this blog, she hopes to create a space where healing becomes possible, even if the path isn’t always straight.

Building a Community: Sharing Stories and Healing Together

Aaliyawrites isn’t just V’s story. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt lost, stuck, or overwhelmed. V wants this space to be a community where people can share their experiences, support each other, and offer advice. Healing doesn’t happen alone, and through this blog, she hopes to help others feel a little less alone on their journey.

Have you ever battled perfectionism? Or found yourself stuck in an exhausting loop of procrastination? If so, V and I (Aaliya, the pen) would love to hear your story.

George Herbert once said, "Good words are worth much, and cost little."

Your words might be the lifeline someone needs.

So, What’s Next?

V is still figuring things out, but she’s trying. Her journey isn’t linear, and there are still battles with Profecta. But every small step she takes matters. And through Aaliyawrites, she’s hoping to keep moving forward — and hopefully help others do the same.

Please, share your story, give advice, or drop a few words of encouragement. Let’s build a space where we can be open, vulnerable, and support one another on this journey of growth and healing.

Final Thoughts: A New Beginning

This post marks the beginning of something new, not just for V, but for all of us. Together, we can create a space where healing and growth are possible, one step at a time.

Signing off, Aaliya the pen (P.S. — Classic Profecta move: this draft was written four days ago!)

[catsithkelpie]

"It's okay to not be perfect, the bad man won't come and get you!" -FunkyFrogBait

[the-cheese-man]

... I think I'm a perfectionist. Back in high-school I was working on a student film, it was a 'review' for a video game from the perspective of merlin or something like that... It was risk of rain 2 I think. And all I remember is "I can't work on this i don't have any good clips from the game." And then my teacher telling me to get clips at home, I forgot to get clips every single time. So it was basically a loop of "I don't have good clips I can't work on this, shit I didn't get clips I still can't work on this, I don't have good clips I can't work on this." And all that reminded me of is my perfectionist friend who just... couldn't get things done... I have the same problem with a lot of other things too...

[chlmtsdoll]

Guys ik I literally take forever to write but bare with me, i’m a crippling perfectionist

[zorosdimples]

i’ll be serious about That Man for one singular moment: i don’t think i could ever be with someone considered “perfect” because it would ruin my self-esteem

[presentingavamaria]

(4) excerpts:

From my novel THE HELP OF MARY.

It's intended a contemplative & lax spiritual read, from the dormant perspective, with poetry included.

(unfinished, unpublished).

Enjoy! Critics welcomed. It is thrilling, & Catholic~

THE WELL. I was pushed. I hadn’t known at first where I’d been cast. Only that I’d looked upwards whence I stood.This place, I registered, was a well. I’ve never come to such a place I’ve not freely gone. Yet, I’ve arrived.I looked upwards & found, a man that has caused me recurrent torment. He peered below at me, his eyes were intent & deliberate. I ascertained, his intention was to cause me calamity. He certainly had, elsewhere. This place was animate, & separate of actual life. Neither did I feel the pain of the fall, nor the wet of waist-high waters.I’ve not known how I’ve come here, nor did I perceived an escape. I thought to climb, but reconsidered, as the smooth stone wall would only cause me to slide downwards again.Perhaps several feet above, were that man & behind him, were almost cyan, cloudless skies. Whilst I stood underground, in the dark, furthest from the sun.I hadn’t panicked. I’d done what I was able. I looked upwards helplessly. I considered my circumstances, & determined it a loss.I didn’t know what’d come of the man, from whence he’d came & went, nor perceived when I left, either.That instance, I was elsewhere, in familiar surroundings. Whence I prayed, I was cradled by the tattered couch, & I pondered how I’d happened upon such a place.

AT THE DUSK, I wept bitterly.

I awoke at dusk & prayed until dawn, & oft well until morn, then from evening until night. I preferred to pray quietly & unhindered, as to not disrupt the residents walking the halls.

My heart, inwardly, it ached, & my very spirit was contrite. At times, I would become inconsolable, & deeply grieved.

Only, this night, I hadn’t yet mentioned my troubles. Instead, I only suppressed the wounds I bore within myself. I prayed still, but I felt overwhelmed.

I recited fewer half-hearted Hail Marys, then began to sob.

My voice carried barely a whisper, I pled to HOLY MARY, that SHE would consider me. I wrought heavy burdens, & deep within me, I sought a response to my pain. 

I’d interjected my own prayer to HER,

“I must suffer, but must my son?”

In the past SHE’D inclined to my cries. SHE would speak to me from being of all things. SHE spoke from the wind, or from HER THRONE or perhaps from void. I’m unsure wherefrom, but perceived HER omnipresent.

HER response was unfathomable. From whence I knew not, SHE spoke, “Imagine him on A CROSS.” Then, I understood. It is the callousness of man that we all must suffer.

THE VISION OF THE SCOURGING AT THE PILLAR …Thereupon, I received the startling image, of A MAN WHOM WAS CHRIST, just before HE were first stricken.

HIS executioners had of killed HIM, knelt in HIS OWN BLOOD before them. I attest, its mercilessness. It were tragedy to have inspiration this passionate lyric.

Men wait,

For advantage;

Then, become especially heinous.

I saw,

THE FACE OF CHRIST.

HE were crouched & knelt.

The very sight were,

As crimson as BLOOD.

HE were bound by the WRISTS;

By instinct,

HE turned from,

The sight of HIS horror.

HE would be Scourged,

Bloodied,

Battered & torn.

This is THE HORROR OF CHRIST!

The shame of sin,

HE’D bled & forgiven.

It began, THE PASSION OF OUR LORD, that’d cost us each, our salvation. What followed, would be indescribably gruesome. It was truly a horrid sight, but else, I saw, was an admissible disregard of human suffering. 

A MIRACULOUS VISION. I happened upon a prayer in particular, one that was only required commitment a minimal three days to pray it.

It were called A Three Day Miracle Novena, I read in bold black font across a bright handheld screen. Whereafter, a third night of the prayer, I awaited the wonderment of this miracle to come. I believed from steadfast happened miracles I lain awake.

Whence I rested

MOTHER MARY, EVER HOLY,

Came betwixt my sleep and wake.

Her color was dissimilar.

Than HER bodily contour.

SHE were as spatial & void: White & empty.

But HER color shown in spectrum,

Outward HERSELF.

Like stained glass,

But WHOSE light,

Would rift from HER place.

I find, DIVINITY occupied

Time, neither space;

Neither confined to simple image.

Wherefore, my belief of HOLY MARY became testimony & account. I determined that, MARY wasn’t confined to the same orientation & tangibility as we are accustomed. Instead, SHE has & has since, existed beyond all that we’ve perceived. HER help offered us, is infallible, divinely & ever present, & capable of any feat.

[rafesapologist]

people asking me why the next chapter of the setback is taking so long like im not a virgo

[chaoticaesthete]

the compulsive urges list of a bibliophile:

• to organize your books in accordance with the authors

• to keep redoing your TBR

• to read all the works of one author before moving on to the next

• to take up reading challenges and end up with more books

• to realize that PERFECTIONISM IS BULLSHIT AND YOU CAN READ HOWEVER YOU WANT TO

• to again get back to your 'MY TBR HAS TO BE PERFECT' personality

[bakuliwrites]

I constantly have to remind myself that it is okay to have unproductive days or days that I personally perceive as unproductive. Like, I am at work. It is slow, so I have downtime. That does not make me unproductive. It just means work is slow.

[ch4ronnnn]

i just came

TO ANNOUNCE I'M FINALLY WRITING THE FIC AGAIN!!!!

SOON SOON SOON SOON(ish)

[cherulove]

remind me never to do an art trade again

[m00nz-writes]

so rereading the current state of the chapters i have written down, i've realized that i am really bad at making the story flow well without it having way too much dialogue. and for that i truly apologize. i'm much better at writing interactions and scenes not involving bits of the show as i want to get it as accurate as possible, but after Lawn of the Dead, i'm going to put my own spin on things and possibly change some minor things. just so it can flow better and not feel really boring and wordy.

[pastabaguette]

humanstuck…

i keep drawing them

[chlmtsdoll]

girlieeeee pls feed us !!

Girl I’m tryingggg 😭😭 life has been lifeing meanwhile I’ve been writing this superrrr long new part of I’ve always dreamed of, but I promise I think it’ll be up between tonight and tmr :) and I swear I’ll get to you guy’s requests soon !!! 🎀