#i am Not bi or pan for context but have discussed this with many who are fjdjdj

[tiny-huts]

I am in complete agreement with the Astarion is (and all the other companions are) pan crowd. He is canonically pan and that should not be erased. But every post about it really needs to have at least one comment devaluing his attraction to men and denying the fact that he seems to have a preference for men (which is accurate to the lived experiences of bi/pan people. MANY people have a preference). Also many people need to realize that most people are not upset that you are having Astarion kissing your lady Tav but that most people are upset that many (not all) astarion x f!Tav works completely erase his more feminine mannerisms and stuff him into a tasteless hetero male love interest box which is like djddjjdjd not great and I do not trust it

[theangryjikooker]

(gay) army from the Castro here! not gonna speak for everyone else’s experiences but something i find ultra interesting is how ships are shaped around individual experiences toward a ship. don’t know how you identify but queer culture is *known* for blurring platonic and sexual lines. it doesn’t mean we wanna be in a relationship with them. could be true for jikook but it’s also true that what some jkkers think is too intimate is “a day in the life” for them.

This is an especially intriguing ask because you’re the first person in my inbox who has ever brought up this completely valid point.

I’m pan, but I’m bi if you’re strictly looking at my dating history, so I’m definitely not a stranger to the community. I was and continually am exposed to different functioning relationships, and quite a few of them don’t fit traditional dynamics that most monogamous cishets are accustomed to.

If we were strictly looking at Jkk’s behavior with zero context, a lot of what they do isn’t weird to me. I’ve said this plenty of times before, and I’ve also said that that there are very few instances that have made me second guess my feelings. I’m friends with people who have no boundaries where questionable antics largely don’t mean anything, and I’ll admit that in my experience this flexibility is far more common among my queer friends than my straight friends. There’s very little that surprises me or is unique with how people behave with one another.

But again, this is what I’ve been exposed to, and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone tries to counter me or tries to frame Jkk as an exception.

I’m not saying that my experiences are a quintessential truth and therefore Jkk can’t be real because I know people who act like them and are uninterested in each other. What I am saying, however, is that I have a different set of guidelines to pull from, and what I choose from that to incorporate into my reasoning is also why my statements contrast with what someone else is saying—RPS ethics notwithstanding.

In defense of those who think Jkk is special (and they are in certain ways), a lot of that also occurs when context is introduced—prime example being cultural differences, and then even more so because Jkk are celebrities in a country where privacy isn’t a real privilege. You would have to look into how that affects their outlook, their actions, how they want to be perceived… the list goes on. That’s not even touching on their sexual identity, which is also a factor. There are so many factors.

I mean, truly, we can get into this all day because it really is an interesting discussion topic—if this ultimately wasn’t about specific people, who deserve to have their lives respected and not overanalyzed.

Anyway, I’m closing this abruptly, but thank you for the food for thought. If this wasn’t in reference to RPS, this would most certainly be worthy of a good wine talk. Humans, in general, are fascinating.

[van-zieksy]

Dear van zieksy,

Hello how are you? It is I, your dearest Reaper-san. It hasn’t been long time since we last exchanged pleasantries but since then I had many ideas on questions I woulf like to inquire. I will keep it simple. This question is not that particularly hard because I am simply curious about your ships with Barok van zieks. Who do you think out of Kazuma, Naruhodo or even Herlock would be most suitable for him and why they in particular would make the bets romantic interest for our reaper. Obviously this is just all hypothetical and if you don’t feel comfortable you can analyze from more plantonic perspective and well since we already established the most ideal type for Barok van Zieks I think we can delve deeper into people around him. Also this is all based on the fact Barok isn’t straight which brings me into second question - do you think Barok doesn’t care about gender when it comes to romance (I l know you said he treats all people equally in court and even more so in personal life bit I forgot if you mentioned whether you seem him as pan/bi etc.)

Once again thank you very much forr inputs on our beloved prosecutor

All the best,

Yours

Reaper-san

Reaper-san!!!

I am doing quite well. Thank you for asking. I hope you are doing excellent! Thanks for reaching out to me.

I would like to preface this question with the following because I have seen some people get very upset about certain ships:

I generally stay out of the whole shipping aspect of characters quite simply because I try to remain neutral about it. I do have my favourite ships, but to me, all ships are valid (as long as we’re talking about adults, which should go without saying). We are hypothesising about fictional characters, so people should be allowed to ship whoever they want without being provided grief about it from other fans. Fictional characters and fiction are supposed to bring us joy. Why agonise over something that only exists to entertain us? It is fine to theorise and analyse fiction—which is also what I am doing—but once we try to apply real-life principles/ideals/etc. to it, it can quickly get ugly because not every piece of fiction is deep, a representation of real life, or supposed to be taken too seriously. It is okay to analyse, as long as we always keep in mind that fiction is fiction. Since I have started to draw a clear line between real life and fiction, I am much happier and am able to enjoy things with a more carefree attitude. With that being said, I can see Barok with pretty much anyone. A beautiful piece of art or a well-written story about a particular ship is always welcome, regardless if the ship would make sense canonically or not. People are free to express themselves. All opinions are valid. For example, I have recently had someone discuss Barok and Mme Tusspells, which is not a very popular pairing amongst the fanbase, but what they described was interesting and it is just as valid as any other ship, regardless of how I or others feel about it. When I share shipping-related art or similar on my blog—which I rarely do—it simply means that I am enjoying this particular work and appreciate the effort that went into it, nothing more.

As for Barok’s orientation and if he cares about gender as far as romance is concerned. In the context of this fictional universe, I definitely think that anything is possible. If Barok falls in love with someone, it is regardless of their social standing, their gender, their past etc. He falls in love with someone based on their character and how he feels when he’s with them. We are all people, and he knows that. Barok may be a stickler for etiquette and often say or do things in the game that are a reflection of his status as a noble, but he’s also quite the free spirit who does his own thing without much concern for his status. So yes, Barok is probably happy to enter a romantic relationship with anyone, but I would like to refrain from officially naming or applying a certain orientation to him (that is up to each individual to decide; everyone's opinion is valid).

Now then, let’s delve deeper into Barok and his possible love interests. But again, all three ships you’ve mentioned are equally valid to me.

Ryunosuke:

Barok and Ryunosuke were total strangers when they met. Over the course of the games, they developed mutual respect and admiration. Ryunosuke admires Barok for his dedication to the truth/fairness, the way he treats people in court and his brilliance. Barok admires Ryunosuke for his courage and determination. Ryunosuke cares about Barok’s well-being because he has respect for him. He specifically sought him out after the latest attack on „the Reaper“. He then wanted to defend Barok because he fully believed in him. He was one of the few people who eventually realised that Barok is misunderstood by many and falsely ostracised because of that. And once Barok got past his initial impression of Ryunosuke (i.e. his eyes reminded him of Klint and Genshin + Ryuu defending a clearly guilty man), he specifically sought him out in court because Barok a) respected Ryunosuke's courage and determination, and b) tried to understand what happened in his own past through him. It was interesting to see their relationship develop in front of our eyes. There were little hints we could pick up on that told us exactly where they were in their relationship at any given point in time. While I never saw them as rivals or enemies in the way I see certain other AA defence attorneys and prosecutors, we can’t deny that they were on opposite sides in the courtroom, even though both of them were seeking the truth. So the whole enemies-to-lovers trope is very intriguing. Barok allowed Ryunosuke to become more confident and can benefit from Barok's "calm-as-water, keep moving no matter what" persona. Ryunosuke can help Barok regain his trust in people with his sincere attitude. Both are down-to-earth and seek tranquility/peace. With Ryunosuke going back to his home country after DGS2, it may be hard for them to develop a romantic relationship. However, I do believe that they stay in contact, exchanging letters and pleasantries, clearly longing for each other’s presence. I can see Barok visiting Ryunosuke in Japan, where they then realise that their feelings for each other are more than just friendship. Eventually Ryunosuke ends up in Great Britain for an extended period of time, and that’s when they officially enter a romantic relationship. I actually like the idea of Ryunosuke settling down in Japan for a while but Barok stays in Great Britain because he wants to have a positive impact on the justice system as Lord Chief Justice or Attorney General. They lead a long-distance relationship for a while, visiting each other throughout the year. A few years into their relationship, they both become restless and want to lead a more stable lifestyle. While Barok is more than happy to finally retire and move to Japan, Ryunosuke makes the decision to leave his law firm in the capable hands of the attorneys he has trained. This allows him to permanently relocate to Great Britain in order to live with Barok, who does everything in his power to support his lover’s career in his new home country. Ryunosuke is also excited to be able to be around the friends he has missed so dearly. Maybe they will both retire to Japan once the time comes. Their future remains undetermined.

Kazuma:

(Just look at that face. Clearly Kazuma is up to something lol.)

With Kazuma becoming Barok’s apprentice, they are bound to spend lots of time together. Initially I see them as in sort of a healing phase based on the events that unfolded in the last two cases. Barok learning to accept that there was more to the events ten years ago than he was aware of, that he needs to stop letting past events and long-gone people dictate the present and the future, and that he is a stronger person than his brother ever was. Kazuma getting over his „inner demons“ (anger; okay with having a not-so-innocent and an innocent person die) and learning to accept that while his father was innocent of one charge, he was guilty of something else and not as pure as he thought. Both have lost something and someone dear to them, but the only people to blame for that are their respective family members and one particular overzealous individual. Both have looked up to someone who turned out to be not-so-perfect after all. Both have to start looking into the future and realise that their families and their past don’t define them. They are not to blame for anything. They are more principled. Kazuma’s and Barok’s destinies are intertwined. They are both very dedicated, kind and sincere human beings and professionals, so I am sure they will achieve a lot together. As they get to know each other better, they realise how similar they actually are. Kazuma allows Barok to finally open up again and learn to trust someone. Kazuma, on the other hand, benefits from Barok’s composure, experience and quiet dignity. They now have a professional relationship where one can completely rely on the other. I think the difference in power (i.e. Barok the mentor, Kazuma the mentee) is not necessarily an issue because I see Barok treating Kazuma as an equal. He doesn’t think of himself as above Kazuma, even if that may be the case on paper. Of course he will have to give orders to Kazuma every now and then, but overall I see it more as Barok providing Kazuma with the tools he needs to help himself. Kazuma is intelligent and independent, yet he appreciates to have someone around who guides him. After all, Kazuma is in a new country pursuing a new profession, so he can’t do it all by himself. I like the idea of Kazuma living in one of Barok’s guestrooms. Barok has more than enough space and could benefit from having someone other than his staff live with him. They are experiencing many wonderful things together. There are challenges, which is normal when people live together. Eventually they get to the point where they realise that there is romantic attraction. Of course they are both too stubborn to admit it, so there’s much awkwardness and dancing around the facts. Instead of confessing their feelings for each other, the truth comes out on a random day during some random shared activity. Example: Think Barok’s ungloved hand accidentally touching Kazuma’s as he is leaning down to point to a particular paragraph in a book. Awkward silence and blushing. But they simply can’t contain themselves anymore and go for a kiss at the exact same moment. More awkward silence after that kiss. Then Barok just picks up Kazuma to take him to his room. Kazuma wants to protest because he has his pride after all, but quickly decides against it because it’s what he’s been yearning for all along. Kazuma grows into a fine prosecutor. And newly-appointed Lord Chief Justice Barok van Zieks finds it hard to not give preferential treatment to prosecutor Kazuma Asogi.

Herlock:

(They already know how to act like exes to the T, so there's that...)

I firmly believe they have a shared past and the reason they feel superficial animosity for each other is because of what happened ten years ago and because they are in very different positions requiring very different approaches to fighting crime. Let’s leave it at that. They are going to spend more time around each other because of Iris. My headcanon is that Iris learned who her parents are when Yujin and the others were discussing her heritage in the antechamber after Barok’s trial, but she’s feigning ignorance in order to get everyone to stop worrying about her. Eventually she confronts Barok, though. She wants to spend as much time around him as possible to make up for the lost time, and during some of their outings, Herlock is present. Barok and Herlock really are very different. Barok is calm, collected, serious and goal-oriented, Herlock is, well, Herlock. :D I think eventually they realise that opposites can attract each other. While Barok is still annoyed at Herlock when he’s unintentionally inconsiderate and disrespectful to other people, Barok sometimes has to suppress a chuckle because of how over-the-top his new friend is in such situations. Yet I also think that Barok’s nature will inspire Herlock to become more calm and considerate. And Herlock will inspire Barok to be less serious, smile more and partake in activities Barok never even considered, such as visiting shady markets to acquire questionable substances for Herlock’s experiments, or spending time at pawn shops so Barok can buy him all kinds of oddities. They complement each other with their different personalities. I think Herlock does not really have much romantic experience, so when he starts having feelings for Barok, he naturally thinks there’s something wrong with him. He can’t explain why he blushes around Barok, or what that warm feeling in his chest is, or why he is much happier when Barok is around, or why he is having dreams of doing things to Barok he never thought were even remotely possible. He tries to find a scientific explanation for it, and the result of his analysis is that he’s having some weird disease that is so far unknown to the human species. He approaches Iris with his concerns and all she does is laugh. She tells him that the only cure for this ailment is to face the root of the issue. Either he doesn’t tell Barok and will regret it for the rest of his life, succumbing to far worse symptoms, or he tells Barok to find some relief and turn those symptoms into something far more beautiful. One day Herlock is visiting Barok in his office to drop off some paperwork. Without knocking, he enters Barok’s office and proclaims, „Iris says I am in love with you and if I didn’t tell you I’d die, so here I am. I am quite fond of my life. Please accept me, my dear fellow.“ Barok, who is sipping some of his wine as he’s looking at notes from today’s trial, is clearly shocked and doesn’t even know how to respond. He's heard the detective say some very ridiculous things before, but this is clearly the icing on the cake. „Oh, may I add I observed you from the gallery today, my dear Mr. Prosecutor? You looked splendid. I surmise your flexibility will come in handy once we are ready to partake in some of those activities I have been dreaming of for the past few weeks.“ There’s the death glare we’ve all come to know and love from Barok. After he politely asks Kazuma, who has been giggling from the desk in his corner, to take his leave, he’s now ready to address the subject. As it turns out, Barok has been harbouring feelings for Herlock for quite a while, but he wasn’t ready to come forward with it just yet. He appreciates how Herlock allows him to be more carefree and would like to take this next step in their relationship. There are many ups and downs in their relationship because they are so different, but this is exactly what pushes both of them to re-evaluate who they are as individuals and what they want out of life. This introspection allows their relationship to bloom.

I love all three ships and think they would/could all make sense.

Wishing you a great weekend! Until our next exchange. <3

With my kindest regards,

[doobnnoob-tf2]

Different guy here but I beg of you to rant about Spy’s sexuality if ya don’t mind ^-^

Feel free to ignore and have a lovely day!!!

okay so, I actually go back and forth about his sexuality a lot, he’s either bi or gay to me, just kinda depends on the context

bi is self-explanatory, most people see Spy as bi

..now before you come at me with “wait but what about Scout, he can’t be gay!”, I have my reasons

Spy loves Ma, dearly, truly.  he would do absolutely anything for that woman if she asked him to and wouldn’t give it a second thought, she’s a very dear friend to him (even in my version of him being Bi and them being together, they’re always very close friends first and foremost)

but he was never IN love with her

Spy admits in his confession to Scout that he was young when Scout was conceived.  he met a woman who swooned HIM in ways he didn’t really comprehend and he mistook loving her as being in love with her.  he met a woman who managed to sweet talk HIM after he’d been used to having to sweet talk other people in order to con them.  not that she did it maliciously, she was just a confident, gorgeous woman who knew how to read people and what to say to them

and things were confusing and complicated and he got scared and he left, but he never left her because no matter what he loved her.  it probably took years before they got together in private and had a real talk about what happened and they stayed very close to each other

they never cut contact, even before their talk and Spy opened up to her about his feelings he always made sure to check in with her as often as he could, and she always supported him.  they love and care for each other and nothing was ever gonna change that

she will however still tease the shit outta him when they discuss their tastes in men together (*cough*Sniper*cough*)

my experience on the matter is under the cut

I am a gay man, who for many years identified as pan, I have in the past dated a couple fem-aligned people.  it does not make me any less of a gay man.  I came to realize after having a long conversation with a friend of mine about their identity that I was gay.  I realized that I had no attraction to women, but rather I was attracted to the idea of wanting to be friends with certain women.

I didn’t come out as trans until after I was an adult because I missed all the signs.  I look back now and I see them, and I also see that I was very much masking my complicated feelings for my gender by telling myself I was attracted to women.  I was over compensating in a way, I only felt the way I did because I was also attracted to women.  I can’t explain how or why that’s where my mind went, but it did.  and I spent a lot of years very confused and it took me a long time to get to how I identify today and for once actually feel comfortable with myself.

my interpretation of Spy being gay comes from that.  (minus the trans part because I personally don’t headcanon him as trans but you get my point.)

there’s no evidence whatsoever to support my headcanon, but I don’t really care about that, it’s mine and I’m sticking to it

also I’m not tagging this one bc I don’t expect it to be a very popular headcanon and I don’t know how people will react and I’d rather just avoid dealing with anyone who wants to come at me over it, I’m totally okay with reblogs I just don’t really feel like tagging this

[jojotichakorn]

Hi archer! Hope you’re doing well :) I’m so happy that they gave us pat CANON bisexual (i already hc him as one but it being confirmed almost made me tear up💗our best boy) but I’m still a bit confused(?) about pran. It’s pretty clear that he only likes boys and he’s aware of it but i didn’t really understand that sentence “I might like girls one day” bc sexuality can’t change and i just wanted to know what you think about it /gen

heyyy, hope ur doing well too!!

so yes, yay for canonically bi pat!! as for pran, the best way i can describe him is "basically, he's gay" with a very intentional reference to daniel howell's video with a similar name. pran is gay, he knows he likes guys, he has only ever liked guys, he said as much - this is absolutely canon. the quote you've mentioned is just a very casually brought-up-in-a-conversation queer-to-queer almost existential idea of "but how do i know i won't like another gender one day?" - it's not as to say that liking only one gender is not valid or is impossible or that he will definitely find someone of other genders to like, it's just sort of a very "what if" scenario that pran entertains in his head because truly anything can happen.

and for example, if i - as a bi person - decided to (for some reason) make a diagram of how many times i liked people of this and that gender, i am highly unlikely to get an equal amount for all of them. and sometimes, someone can typically like one gender, but then have had one-two crushes on another one as well - sexuality is quite complex. and in the context of the "only gay for you" trope that was discussed in the same scene, it's also like an emphasis on the fact that if you like someone who is of a different gender compared to those you typically like, then you definitely like both of those genders, you know? maybe with a - for the lack of a better word - "preference" for one, but still both of them. that's why that trope is so ridiculous - like, for example, even if a guy has only liked girls up until a point when he also started liking a guy, he is - in fact - not straight, he is bi, even if this is the first and even if it's the last guy he likes.

this is the best way i can describe it, i hope it makes sense! at the end of the day, though, very much canonically bi/pan pat and canonically gay pran!

[binniesthighs]

eehee here it is the long awaited results of my chaotic ass survey about our hornies it’s so long holy heck, but I have seperated it into a couple sections to make sense of it all (omg if you read all of it lemme give you a kith teehee) ahhhh lol its SO nerdy haha but i hope that ya enjoy nonetheless! ✨

In this essay, I will....(hahah jk jk this is just all for fun) 

1. Demographics Analysis 

2. Polls on Fic Content 

3. Member Specific Analysis 

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (Confessions) 

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion  

6.  Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle

*Unpopular opinions will be made into their own post to give them ample space and analysis!

Other Notes: 

Out of 100 individuals surveyed, 44 were readers, 2 were only writers, and 54 were both readers and writers. 

Statistical significance can be effected by sampling, selection, and response bias (yeah i took a stats class teehee) and personal biases 

All the the opinions and other analysis presented by me (Ro/binniesthighs) are purely my own oponion and are not factual. you are entitled to interpret all of this information however you like! Anything that i analyze is not definitive! 

while this survey is mostly about stay smutblr, i hope that it can also maybe serve as a template for other fandoms as well with the more general questions! this is a survey for everyone! 

i’d love to hear about what you think about anything presented in this analysis! feel free to send me an ask or comment! reposting is permitted within tumblr or on other platforms if proper credit is given! ❤️ (uwu hehe if you could please help me spread this i would appreciate it so much! i worked really hard on her 🥺) 

1. Demographics Analysis:

Gender Identities of those Surveyed 

~My thoughts: this really came as no surprise to me considering how the majority of kpop fans (especially boy group fans) identify as female! Seeing as I am a Stray Kids/Seventeen blog (both of them boy groups) it makes sense to me that my readers would mostly identify as female! 

Another important thing to note (from a writer standpoint at least) is the wide array of identities that we still have present within the general audience of stay smut blur (SSB)! I’ll get into this later when i discuss favorite pairings to read, however i think that this gives us one more reason to write for a diverse audience of readers who can identify with different types of self-insert fics! 

Top Five: 

Female (81%) 

Non-binary/gender non-conforming (13%) 

Changes by the day (6%) 

Male (4%) 

Demiboy/Demigirl (3%) 

Sexual Orientation of those Surveyed 

Other identities mentioned: 

????, unlabeled, aromatic bisexual, bicurious, demisexual, “just liking who i like”, experimenting, heteroflexible, sapiosexual, depends day by day, “i just like anyone” 

~My thoughts: okkkkk i see us gays of SSB 😏 these demographics were really exciting for me to see! i think that it’s super cool that we have such representation across the board when it comes to sexual orientations present in our community! As someone who personally identifies as pan, this was super comforting to see that there are so many others like me in this little space of the internet! I think it’s safe to say at least from my lil survey that all the bi cuties out here own SSB 💗💜💙

From a literal standpoint, it also makes sense to me that heterosexuality is strongly present as well considering that often the pairs that we read are male idol x female reader so this is the perfect niche! 

Top Five: 

Bisexual (40.8%) 

Heterosexual (26.5) 

Pansexual (17.3%) 

Queer (7.1%) 

Asexual (4.1%) 

Stay Creators!! 

~My thoughts: this one i was THRILLED at seeing oml hahaha and i was so interested to see that this was nearly an even split! 

I think that there’s something to be said about how sometimes we can take our hobbies: (movies, videogames, books, kpop, anime etc)--all things which we really like in totally normal and healthy ways but also kinda like....get hornies about them too? if that makes sense? for example, i have a friend who really likes certain video games/characters from these games as a fan and he’s shared with me that he also doesn’t mind watching porn containing those same characters! (ahahah ya all know what i mean don’t even lie haha) 

what this question proved to me as that there are stays out there who practice ���being a stay/being a stay creator” who also are interested in the more...horny side of this hobby/interest 😂

what is even more interesting to me is who i wonder if i’ve  have consumed any of ya’ll’s content while you have consumed mine??? this i am DYING to know aha but it think its best for all of us to stay anonymous teehee ;) 

either way, good on ya for doing what ya do!! you are so so treasured in this community too!! <3 

2. Polls on Fic Content (a long section lol) 

Favorite Pairing to Read 

*other options selected were rankings of favorite pairings so i just added each of them as an entry to the respective category mentioned. 

Top Five: 

Idol x female reader (69%) 

Idol x gender neutral reader (19%) 

Idol x reader x Idol (poly r/ship) (14%) 

Idol x reader, Idol x reader (threesome, not much interaction between the two idols) (8%) 

~My thoughts: once again, this category was pretty self explanatory to me considering that the majority of readers are female identifying, so it would make sense that they would prefer to read smut that aligns with their identity! This is also super present anyway of SSB as i do feel like the majority of writing pieces that I do come along are idol x female reader, and most authors too often disclaim that they are the most comfortable writing this type of pairing as well. 

What’s signficant as well is the interest in reading fics with gender neutral reader self inserts as well! this is my personal philosophy when it comes to writing (specifically with requests) but i think that writing gn!reader is always the safest bet to go as to not make assumptions about readers! for writers i think that seeing this 19% is something important to take into consideration! 

An outlier to me with this demographic was the “poly r-ship” poll garnering a notable 14% in comparison to the idol x idol option which got 10 less votes (4%). what is a little confusing to me about this is how poly r/ships often (but not always) contain idol x idol content, however there is discrepancy with the amount of readers outright saying that they enjoy reading it alone. I’ll get into poly fics later with the unpopular opinions section--however i wanted to plant the seed here hehe. One other caveat to this is the fact that on SSB i feel like idol x idol content is really in the minority and is much more present on a platform like AO3 so this could be another explaination! 

What is kinda cute to me is the fact that readers do really like poly r-ship dynamics more than a threesome (as i defined it, “with less interaction”) so this makes me feel like we are all saps for the fluff that comes with poly r-ship fics ;) 

Favorite Kind of Smut to Read 

male idol smut (67%) 

i read both! (female and male idol smut) (25%) 

depends on my mood (7%) 

female idol smut (1%) 

~My thoughts: Again, this is super expected to me as well considering the above statistics. Since i am a skz blog (a boy group) --as are my moots-- it really makes sense that those who filled out this survey would be into male idol smut! 

what was cool for me to see as well was the number of readers who also read female idol smut as well as male idol smut! personally, i more predominately a fan of boy groups compared to the amount of girl group content that I consume (note: i do also consume gg content). because of this, i think that its really up to personal preferences and the content that you consume that can be reflective of the smut content that you consume as well and ya know, whoever gets your hornies going ;) 

Favorite Genres...Ranked! 

*so this was my fault lol i totally formatted this question poorly in google forms so i’ll try to summarize the most popular rankings with my words haha 

*bc of the way that i miffed it (lol) i wasn’t able to get exact measurements, but rough ones! 

Top Five: 

Smut, fluff, angst 

smut n’ fluff (with specific emphasis angst is not desired)  

smut, angst, fluff, 

fluff, smut, angst, 

angst, fluff, smut 

~My thoughts: by far, the most popular ranking that i saw was as follows: smut, fluff, angst. i saw this sososos many times haha also...ya’ll got really creative with your rankings and it made me giggle hehe. So! seeing as this is stay smutblr haha makes total sense that the three most popular rankings that we have were lead by smut! since we’re here for the hornies, i totally get this. 

as for the “smut n’ fluff” or “fluffy smut” category, there was a decent amount of readers that expressed that this mixture is their fave! i’m kinda looping this with the “mixture” option that i also provided for this question since this was the most popular mixture that i was able to observe along with angst + smut. interestingly, i saw a couple mentions of “hurt/comfort” fics with this question too so this went well with this preference. as for number three on this list, we dip into that smut + angst category that I just mentioned as well. there were several individuals who said that they really really enjoy reading smut with angst! 

lastly we get to the four and five on the list: four being fluff, smut and angst. i think this category can also properly represent the folx who tend to like more fluffy fics over the smutty ones, but that can also have suggestive themes too! in five, we have angst, fluff and smut which also is representative of another theme that i saw: as far as plot goes, several people mentioned that they liked fics that start with angst, get fluffier, and then end up in smut, so i think that this could be easily compared! 

*there were also several readers who simply said “all of them” or opted not to rank, (lol me) so this really shows the variability in results! 

Cute stuff ya’ll said (kind of out of context too LOL) 

“... hehE I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE.” 

“...I KNOW IT [my ranking] LOOKS TERRIBLY SPECIFIC AND IM SO SORRY and I guess the better way to describe that was one that has all 3 with a happy ending lol my b my b.” 

“ ...it just depends on the mood my dude.” 

“... (the smut doesn’t have to be soft i just want the relationship to be soft and i want aftercare and general affection).” 

“(but almost no angst oops)” 

“angst honestly makes me so sad.” 

“... but long fics with angst and slow burn smut/fluff is just WOW.” 

“ my favourite thing is when it's fluffy smut tbh with a little bit of angsty backstory. that is *chefs kiss*” 

“(I'm a sucker for good angsty fics but I cant seem to find them???)” 

“Smut, Fluff, Angst (I tend to be a bit of a purist so no mixture here).” 

“(i can't read pure angst lol) “ 

“(I love how much plot there is in angsty fics but I personally can't read anything without a happy ending, i just can't take it)” 

“ i literally couldn't rank them bc my mood is always changing lmaooo.” 

“ smut, fluff, angst. i know what i’m about.” 

Favorite Length of Fics 

Top Five: 

5k-8k words (27%) 

2k-4k words (25%) 

1k-2k words (20%) 

10k-20k words (15%) 

20k words (12%) 

~My thoughts: this one was super helpful for me to see!! and writers i hope that this is helpful for you too! as someone who tends to rambles (lol) it was very comforting for me to see that long-ish fics are actually preferred! what is really cool about this data too is that it is all super well balanced for the most part and nearly edqual in some parts! how i see this, i think that when it comes to preferences of length, its really reader specific so anyone could like anything! this goes into a little bit the slow burn question that i asked as well too, but it’s really cool to see that when readers do read, they kinda like something to sink their teeth into! 

i wanted to look into how long it takes you to read these words, and it appears that on average, a 5-8k fic can take someone 30 mins to read whereas a 2-4k fic takes about 15mins! idk if this says something about attention spans, but as a writer it warms my heart to know that you’re willing to spend 30 minutes of your time reading something that i wrote! 🥺

another thing i wanted to bring up is the “hard and fast” smut readers--those who like to get straight to the point, get right to business and to the juice! they are also a decently large group too! as for readers who like a nice long fic or a chaptered fic, they are super close in numbers! from this, it’s safe for me to assume that maybe those who like reading longer fics are more inclined to strap in for the long haul with chaptered fics too! 

Favorite AUs to Read 

*the top category that got cut off (thank you google forms lol) is friends to lovers! the one that says “...love” at 48% is enemies to lovers, and the one that has a blanked out title at 35% is strangers to lovers! 

Top Five: 

friends to lovers (65%) 

enemies to lovers (48%) 

high school/college au (40%) 

roommates/neighbors to lovers (38%) 

strangers to lovers (35%) 

Other AUs mentioned by you! 

office au, royal au, vampire au, fake date, idol au, slice of life, boarding school au, childhood friends, soulmate au 

~My thoughts: ok ok so this was RAD to see! i often wonder myself the kinds of aus that my readers would like to see so this was really helpful! circling back on how readers tend to favor fluff n’ smut (friends to lovers) and angst n’ smut (enemies to lovers) i think that we’re seeing some more themes here teehee. 

i like to think that since most of us are of the college age, the college au is super relatable therefore we really like to read it! not to mention that college and high school au’s are super duper cute as well! this is also relatable to the roommates/neighbors to lovers category which is also relatable to us who may or may not have experienced having a roommate or crush on the cutie next door ;) as a couple readers mentioned, they liked more “slice of life” au’s--which both of these categories fall into! i think we as readers like scenarios that feel the most real to us, bc they are the easiest to insert ourselves into :) 

fantasy and thriller, action, more “fiction” tropes are in the minority, however i think that this can be for the exact same reason as i mentioned above where readers like more relatable scenarios. 

Opinions on Slow Burn Fics 

~My thoughts: during polling of this category, this pie cart stayed basically the same the whole time!! that was pretty cute to see! the important take aways from this survey for me is the fact that slow burn fics are generally really loved! again, lol as someone who writes big ol’ long slow burn fics this made me feel a lot better hahaha basically, the general consensus is that slow burn fics are welcome most of the time, however some readers might need to invest a little more time into them! this is also very easily comparable to the above statistics on the length of fics preferred (longer ones being the ones more popular) so here’s a lil more supporting evidence! 

3. Member Specific Analysis 

Bias Survey 

Top Five: 

Chan (19%) 

Changbin (18%) 

Hyunjin (16%) 

Jisung (15%) 

Minho (14%) 

~My thoughts: ok ok ok so this is where it starts getting JUICY hehe (also i apologize once more for making you pick LOL) 

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if there was a correlation with biases and if there was a probability that members who had more people biasing them (or popularity I guess) were more likely to be read more in smut fics! AND I WAS RIGHT haha isn’t this so fkn cool??? (see more in the next section!) 

for comparison, i went to kprofiles to see their little survey on bias popularity and their top five. 

Kprofiles Top Five: 

Hyunjin (15%) 

Felix (14%) 

Chan (12%) 

Minho (11%) 

Jisung (11%) 

SO oh my god my nerd brain is loosing it over this REE so, what i should note that is those who took this survey on my blog are likely generally different based off of the fact that they are here to read smut specifically, rather than the general holistic popularity survey. It is for this reason that we see Felix much higher on this list and Changbin much lower too (as we know Felix is really well known generally and globally and there are *generally* fewer Bin biased fans). What was really interesting to see what that with Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho, they still all stayed within the top five! Soooo what i’m saying is.... all of you Hyunjin, Chan, Jisung and Minho fans really must like your smut 😏 and I think that it’s safe to assume that the majority of hard stans come from these four members too ooP (and of course our Binnie too! ;) i see all of ya’ll 👀) 

Members That Get Our Hornies Going 

~My thoughts: AHH DOESN’T THIS LOOK SO SATISFYING? I’M SO PROUD OF HER!!! 

First off, i would like to acknowledge the all mighty power of Bang Christopher Chan for pooling this most hornies god DAMN while i kind of expected this, it is also evidenced in the fics that i write! recently i’ve been tracking the number of notes that my Chan hard thoughts get in comparison to other members and the differences are usually ASTRONOMICAL. He is most def the most popular member for smut for several different reasons, lowkey bc i think that it’s kind of part of his brand?? hahaha if ya know what i mean? 

As for preference from Minho on, we can see a super obvious trend that as age order decreases, we get less and less interest for reading for the member. I’m fairly inclined to believe that this has to do with the fact that most often fans (especially fans older than skz) have a harder time seeing the younger members in a sexual way, so the lack of interest totally makes sense here! As referenced above too, we found that the oldest five members (Chan --> Jisung) are the favorites for smut reading which we can see here as well when the numbers really drop after Felix (Felix coming in at 6th place on my “popularity” survey). 

Bc of these statistics, i do really feel like as a reader, i tend to see much, much more fics involving our top five! As for Seungmin and Jeongin, I’ve also seen people state that they do not read or write content for these two members bc they do not feel as comfortable, so this can also explain the lack of content. Also as we have heard many times, Jeongin is a bit of a hot topic lol within the SSB community, so this makes sense that his readership would be low as well. 

4. Deep Dive into the Juicy Questions (aka confessions) 

Is the fact that you read smut a seggsy secret? 

~My thoughts: JUICE TIME JUICE TIME 

Before I say anything, i wanted to tell you all how all of the juicy questions were totally optional, but i got 100% participation for every single one of them which if find HILARIOUS i guess you all are just as curious as i am?? ;) 

So! for this question, we have an overwhelming amount of readers who said that only their closest friends know which is so cute to me! i love how we can trust our friends with this hehe. i also fall into this category bc like, it’s lowkey kinda fun to talk about? maybe also the fact that i run a smut acct makes me care a little less about it all hahah 

secondly, we have the rather large group of people who said that they wouldn’t dare to tell anyone which is also sooo cute haha idk how to explain it but this was the category that i started out in too until i found the right people! But i totally get ya, reading smut--especially-- kpop smut-- can be embarrassing or cringey to share (not to mention that it is somewhat morally grey LOL) so this is really understandable! 

also my fkn hats off to all of you who said that you didn’t care about who knows that you read smut. here, you dropped this: 👑 you’re much braver than i could ever be. 

When you read smut, do you really feel the hornies? 

~My thoughts: ok, so this one to me was also very interesting for me to see as well! (also if you get uncomfy reading about personal masturbation habits you can skip this one lol) 

the reason why i asked this question was because i wanted to see if people “get off” by reading smut (whether reading it turns you on, or if you choose to use it for “material” to get off on however this might look, might be more of a mental simulation without any real like, physical getting off) candidly, I use smut to get myself off every once and a while, so i wanted to see who else might be in the same group! since becoming a writer however, i read much less and reading it doesn’t hit the same when i was just a reader bc i have a different perspective of being the one writing the smut so i look at it more analytically--i digress. 

it was exciting (teehee get the pun?) for me to see that others also “get off” on smut too--and that they are the majority! teehee it is an honor for me to provide you with the hornies LOL. at the same time, we still have a large group in the “don’t take to seriously” category which was interesting to me too! i can’t speak for these readers, but i interpreted these kind of readers to be the kind who read smut to imagine the scenes and are like “hm, that’s hot, i like thinking about this.” but it doesn’t extend much outside of these thoughts. 

What is the most popular position pairing we like to read? 

*smaller slices of the pie represent multiple favorites which i also seperated back into the categories corresponding to get the best count into what was the most preferred. 

Actual Breakdown: 

dom!idol // sub!reader (51 votes) 

switch!idol // switch!reader (32 votes) 

subidol! // dom!reader (11 votes) 

all of the above (5 votes) 

depends on my mood (2 votes) 

~My thoughts: i feel as if there is a bit of a conflict between which position really is “the best” and while we really can’t know the answer to this question since everyone has different preferences, we can at least find out which one is the most popular to be consumed! 

again, going off of the content that I also see as a reader, i see TONS of dom!idol fics, like, left and right. also, if i may come for all of our necks, 👀 but...there’s really something to be said about the fact that the majority of readers are female and historically and socially, women are typically socialized to be submissive, so i can see why this would be why we would favor this among fics--this is even further evidenced by the fact that male idol smut is also preferred, thus further perpetuating the fact that women have been socialized to be submissive to men specifically. i’m not saying that this is the end all be all reason that this trend is present, but i merely offer it as a possible explaination. this is a much larger sociological conversation, but i think that this trend also showed itself in the types of smut that readers seek out as well--according to demographics. 

sub!idol fics are few and far in-between, and i think that this can also be for the exact same reason as i talked about above! 

When you read smut, do you pick faves to read for? 

~My thoughts: what’s cool about this question is the fact that the “half and half” nature of it also resembles what we saw in the section for favorite members to read! As we see in that chart, 41 out of 100 people said that they read everyone, similar to this question where 48 out of 100 people said that they read for everyone. What this proves to me once more is that when it comes for reading fics, there's a 50/50 chance that the reader will look at, and read it based off of who it is about alone. This is a really powerful statistic, meaning that the members who that a writer might write for really dictates their readership! At the same time, it’s super comforting to know that regardless of what you as a writer might write, there’s always someone out there who is willing to read it! (as evidenced by the 52% of people who read for anyone! this is still a large number) 

Readers: Do you only use Tumblr for smut? 

~My thoughts: when i first started out reading smut, i was in the “i just look up skz smut” group LOL so i wanted to see again if there was anyone like me--which there is! This was more of my interest in seeing if some people view tumblr as “their smut dealer” AHA so that my initial motivation. I was surprised to see that this is not the case! out of 100 readers, 39 of them have their own non-smut blogs and the second largest group of 26 people use tumblr for smut exclusively. 

idk why, but when thinking of this question, it really got me thinking back to the question where i asked if reading smut is a seggsy secret, and there was the group of people who said that it is for them--i’m assuming that these people might be part of the group have non-smut blogs and read on the side teehee. 

at the same time, there is a combined 40 people who said that they use tumblr for smut purposes only which makes sense to me, as those who filled out my survey are readers of my smut blog if you catch my drift haha  

Writers: Do you read smut, or just write it? 

*56 responses correlate with those polled who identified as writers/both as mentioned above 

~My thoughts: this survey is really really cute for me to see bc it means that there is a whole support network or writers out there reading, supporting and here to hype other writers work!! if anything, as a writer because it takes so much time to write, it can become hard to find time to read, hence the “when i have time option lollll (*cough cough* me LOL) thank you all for your honesty with this question! 

5. General Thoughts and Conclusion 

Survey on Exposure 

~My thoughts: i kinda wanna close off this survey by getting on my soapbox for a sec lol. At least for me, the most common ways that readers found my blog were: looking up a tag, and from a repost. i think that this really goes to show the power of exposure and certain tactics that you can use to increate readership of your account! new readers, if you’re reading this and you’re just starting out, tagging your stuff is so so important! 

also, as i have said and so so, many other content creators have said countless times before, reposting is so crucial and it takes little to no effort to repost a creators work so that it might reach others! as a writers, we spend hours, and i mean hours creating content, editing, drafting, creating headers all out own time to publish something that we are proud of and for you to enjoy! it means the world to authors when you reblog their work and even more when you give feedback too because this is our passion! we write for free in the middle of our busy lives so the validation makes it all worth it!! 

Conclusion 

~phew! so that’s it! once again, i wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart from participating in this lil study! i really hope that it is helpful to writers and readers alike! i wanna give ya all the biiiiiigest Ro huggies!! 💕💕

as i mentioned above, the answers for the unpopular opinions will be made into their own post bc there is a ton of them and i didn’t want to clutter up this doc lol 

don’t ya ever forget that you are important, loved, and special! happy hornies my cuties ;) 

~R 🌹

6. Cute shit that ya’ll said that made me giggle (and hopefully makes you giggle too)

~you all are the light of my life!! each of these comments brought me so much happiness and i love you all so fkn much for that!! also, to those of you who said, “Ro date me” PLZ haha i will date you too!!! too all of the super sweet comments about my writing, thank you so so very much and thank you for reading! it means so much to me!! to all of the i love yous, ahhhh i love you toooooo  💕

“I DUNNO IM BAD AT FUNNY STUFF BUT KNOCK KNOCK I GUESS? -whos there 

RO 

-ro who 

Me, in chan voice: RObber ducky you're the one 

yeah... 

yeah 

bYE” 

“ I didn’t know changbin’s thighs were of such importance until I saw your username but now?? 👀 I am looking respectfully.” 

“ every time chan doesn’t reply to my bubble message i hold my breath and try to die💆‍♀️” 

“ here are my favorite emoji combos: 😐☝️ 😫🖐️ 😂🤏 (i use that one when i get a dick pick and it's rlly small but the person thinks its big-) “ 

“ you are EVIL for making me choose just ONE bias OT8 EXISTS OK!?” 

“ I hope this survey provides you with a lot of useful feedback! -sincerely a big tiddie committee member (you know the one)” [hehe yes i do hai M ;)] 

“ chan’s tiddies... that’s it.” 

“jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo?“

“ Jeongin is appropriately baby bread because his face is puffy in the morning so it's kinda like yeast rising 👉👉 “ 

“ someone needs to tell hyunjin to put some vaseline or something on his cuticles like I love him a lot but his recent live made me scream sir your cuticles are hanging on for dear life please I'm literally begging you “ 

“ I squeal whenever I get a notification from you and my family think I’m secretly dating someone. It’s nice knowing that they think I can get someone during a pandemic 😁 “ [this one had me SENT] 

“i hope ur dreams are blessed with skz thighs.” 

“ HS Bin supremacy!!” 

“Sta” 

“Ro(ses) are red, violets are blue - DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you :') “ 

“✨ dInG dOnG ✨ “ 

“You're doing God's work as a changbin stan xD “ [thank you so much aHA] 

“damn gorl, are you a wifi signal? cause i’m tryna connect 🤔🥴✌🏾 “ 

“Good luck with your survey! I hope you get a big response! You know what else is big..? 

 Chan's feet. (I'm sorry, that was my attempt to make you giggle but I'm clearly not a comedian)” 

“What's the internal temperature of a taun taun? Luke warm! (Haha sorry star wars joke) “ 

“egg“

“just because you’re garbage, doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot <3 “ 

“Soft-Dom Minho Agenda is the best agenda. I have spoken. Sincerely yours, Javi (@itsapapisongo) “ [this is the way javi] 

“Bang chan daddy supremacy” 

“ro, ro, ro your boat gently down skz’ dick hell yea.” [this also had me SENT] 

“stay smut writers should take “maknae on top” literally“

“idk man i’m just vibing. hope ur day is going well. (changbin voice) da DA da” 

Fin. 

~🌹~ 

Bunch of (Ro)ses! 

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @lunarskzzz  @yourdaddychan @bubblelixie @spnobsessedmemes @chaangbin​ @lmhmins @eunaeiekim

[the-13th-rose]

I’m gonna say it

Aros complaining about amatonormativity every single time someone mentions the concept of love in a positive context is the new aces complaining about sex every time someone mentions sex in a positive context

I’m under the ace umbrella myself, and I had a sex-negative phase, I know how it is. And because I grew out of that phase and am much happier for it, I also know that other people simply enjoying love and romance as concepts are absolutely not the enemy. Amatonormativity is the societal belief that a life without romance isn’t complete. It’s not people literally just being in relationships or enjoying romance as a genre. Similar to how allonormativity is societal pressure to have sex, not simply people enjoying the act. 

You folks absolutely need to learn that other people’s relationships are not your business, and that other people enjoying love and romance are not personally oppressing you. And when it comes to romance repulsion, it works the same way as sex repulsion to me. In that it’s fine to be repulsed by the concept, and to be uncomfortable with PDA, but you absolutely have no right to tell people to suppress their feelings or to shut up about something that is important to them. ESPECIALLY when you’re talking to other folks in the LGBT community. That was the rhetoric that made acephobia so palatable for so long, frustrated sex-repulsed people making poorly-thought-out comments that were then twisted by acephobes to claim that asexuals were “homophobic” among other similar claims. And I need you to think really well about why telling people who have been the targets of hatred and violence for who they love that they’re “being amatonormative” by simply talking openly about their love is a bad thing to do.

This is a common thing in many communities. People who live a certain way seeing others live a different way and getting angry about it. Please remember that individual people in romantic relationships are not your enemy. You’re fighting the societal pressure to get married and all that jazz. People who are in love or who enjoy the concept are not part of that.

TL;DR - When are people in this community going to realize that other LGBT people existing and living their lives are not your fucking enemies.

Also while I’m at it, no, actually, people are not obligated to include aromantics in every single post about love, just like how people are not obligated to include asexuals in every single post about sex. There’s a reason trans women are allowed to have spaces that don’t mention trans men, and vice versa. There’s a reason lesbians don’t always have to talk about bi or pan women too. It’s called “different people have different needs”. There are so many different groups of people that to include and address literally everyone (especially in a personal post!) is unreasonable. You cannot assume that a person doesn’t care about something (or outright hates it!) just because they aren’t constantly talking about it. Intersectionality is very important, but different identities have different needs. You can’t expect people to include you in every single discussion, especially in discussions about things that are important to them specifically. You are capable of making your own discussions. We all are. 

[daily911]

Another great video essay about queerbaiting is The Evolution of Queerbaiting: From Queercoding to Queercatching by Rowan Ellis.

I personally think it's hard to say for sure if Buddie is actually queerbaiting or not, simply because there are so many queer characters on the show. Great characters who I love and who deserve more screentime and fandom attention!

I might say they're queerbaiting with Buck being implied to be interested in guys several times (not just about Eddie), and how it was the relationship between Thomas and Mitchell, a gay relationship, that helped him to see more clearly what love is. (The "you don't find it, you make it" quote.)

But I honestly don't know. Like, yeah, if either Buck or Eddie was a woman, it would probably be a question of when, not if. But a lot of people screaming queerbaiting are making everything all about Buddie, which is suspicious.

[Also, 911 Lone Star is guilty of queercatching, where they have queer characters and use them in promotional material, but don't follow through with actually doing much with them, but that's a different discussion.]

Again, my understanding of queerbaiting is that it refers to a show purposefully baiting/tricking fans into watching a show by implying there will be some queer representation (in the context of your ask, bi/pan rep) that they never intend on making canon.

What you’re describing just sounds, to me, like a difference in interpretation of a character, which I wouldn’t say fits the above definition. There have been instances where other characters have implied Buck is interested in men, but I can’t think of times when Buck has expressed attraction to men (I could totally be forgetting stuff). And like, queer people have a lot to teach straight people about relationships and I’m glad the show acknowledged that.

This is certainly an area where reasonable people can see things differently because I totally see where you are coming from. And, I absolutely understand that people are yearning to see themselves represented.  I’ve been there and I don’t want to sound dismissive of that desire.

But, like I mentioned in the first ask I got about queerbaiting regarding the question of bi/pan v gay representation, I am a little confused/suspect of people’s motivations. Another thing I didn’t mention in that response is that in 201, Chimney specifically comments that Eddie is really attractive but no one was/is clamoring to claim Chimney is bi/pan. Which again...suspect especially in the context where the canon LGBT characters who are Black are largely ignored by Buddie shippers.

As for Lone Star, I don’t know if I would call it queercatching (a term I learned about from your ask). My main problem with that ship is that Carlos (a poc ofc) is so underdeveloped in comparison to TK and his character basically revolves around that relationship.

[worstloki]

[1/?] Hello! Sorry to bother you, just wanted to ask what you think about the new Loki trailer. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing as ever and it's what I was waiting for. It's just that... it is be stupid, I know it, but, as an ace, one of the things I loved the most about MCU Loki was that he was ace-coded. Today I watched the trailer closely and it seems like he may have a thing with that girl on the plane? I know, it is stupid, especially since that I'm not aro and ace people can have flirts,

Hi!! 

So, I’m really happy that there’s some new content, obviously, but, while it’s not an Official Trailer™ I feel like it didn’t do well in conveying 2012 Loki continuity. 

I know that obviously we don’t know wherein the show the scenes are from but the way Loki’s being presented is looking really... artificial? I feel like they may be leaning a bit too much into Comic Loki? Without explanation? And I really hope not, and I don’t think the actor would be okay with a jump like that either and am waiting till the actual show releases to make any judgement, but, with the only full-fledged comedy aspect being in the final bit with the costume and the “what did you expect” *cue Vote Loki slightly-too-much smile* and the many Loki’s I’m thinking the show looks decent so far. I may be a bit optimistic, but I do honestly believe that despite his characterization being a tad bit off that we can’t judge the rest of the show from a 3 minute clip where everything is out-of-context and jumbled up on purpose to begin with.

I know both the ace and pan communities lack representation and sincerely don’t mean any offense to anyone when I say that I easily read MCU Loki (as of yet) to be asexual. But, regardless of sexuality/gender, I don’t see 2012 Loki jumping into any relationships. It’s why I would prefer if he didn’t have a love interest in the show; the rumours of confirming Loki as bi/pan feel like they’re going to throw multiple at him and I don’t think he’s even ready for one and would die for so much as a friend. It wouldn’t really seem authentic after the actor himself said he was playing Loki as ace-coded in Avengers 1 (because it’d be plain weird to have a budding romance when he’s opposing them) and because he believed Loki was too reserved for anything overly romantic. However, I understand opinions change, and will accept any love interest that is healthy and is built to legitimately work.

I honestly don’t read any of the interactions in the trailer as romantic but that might just be me trying for Loki to have friends who help support him first. Loki being overly flirtatious would be incredibly out-of-character of what we know of Loki... unless he was doing it intentionally and for a purpose... which I would absolutely love to see... and while I’m hoping for Loki to be canonically ace I’ll be happy with any LGBTQIA+ representation as long as they do it respectfully and well and keep Loki relatively in-character while doing so. 

Overall, I too loved the trailer and look forward to seeing where it goes and within what context the scenes are because the general quality is looking great :D!! 

Thank you for dropping by and remember that I never find it a bother to discuss Loki and you’re a sweetheart for being so concerned. Anyone who says you talk too much is lying. I hope you also have a wonderful day/night.

[goblin-gardens]

(1/2) I’m not sure if you’re the right person to send this to but I wanna say this to someone so: when Caleb was revealed as bi/pan, I saw a lot of people saying stuff like “duh of course he is” and it really pisses me off bc I feel like they’re undermining the importance of Liam confirming that? CR’s cast members have a habit of making jokes about mlm (like making a joke about caleb/fjord being endgame or someone calling vax bicurious) and as a MLM I’ve always felt very invalidated by it.

(2/2) Caleb being queer was such a big deal to me bc, as much as I’d hoped for it to be true, I never in a million years expected it because of all the jokes. When I heard Liam begin to talk so seriously about Caleb‘s feelings towards Essek my initial reaction was “nah you’re reading into it too much”, but I *wasn’t*, and it made me cry. Maybe this isn’t a big deal to everyone else, but it adds so much new depth to my viewing experience, knowing that this character likes men. Anyway I’m done sry 

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Thank you for sharing this with me! I hope I am the right person, because I have a lot to say!

It is so important how straightforward Liam has been about Caleb’s attraction to Essek. I can’t speak as much to Vax, as I haven’t seen the entirety of C1, but it definitely seems like Liam took him seriously as well. It’s not that there’s no other bi characters out there, but CR has been a very unique piece of media. (I say has been because the field of D&D podcasts and shows is expanding massively, and is full to bursting with wonderful (and queer!) content.)

Caleb’s bisexuality is important, both in the broader context of Increasing Representation In Media, and on an individual level to fans like you and me.

And yeah, the jokes...... they can really, really suck. No two ways around it. I think what it boils down to is the cast are making jokes with their friends, and they have years of built-up trust and the ability to tell each other when something crosses a line. As viewers, we simply do not have those same tools, and additionally we all have different boundaries. So they might all be laughing along with a joke, but we’re suddenly sitting here being laughed at, because it’s turned a corner and it’s not funny to us any more. And our choices are grit our teeth through it or turn it off. It sucks!

And fandom. Well. There’s nothing like someone else writing an op ed that backs all your enthusiasm into a defensive corner to take the wind out of your sails.

But back to the good stuff: Caleb loves men! You (and I) didn’t read too much into it. It’s real, and it really matters. We spend a lot of time with these characters. Not only watching these monstrously long weekly episodes, and consuming these stories that unfold over the course of actual years, but also engaging in the fandom, making fanworks and just sitting and thinking about them. And the canon content unfolds in real-time, without music cues or slick editing to influence our perceptions. There is, frankly, a helluva lot to read in to. Feeling kinship (and queer kinship, which is just-- so special) with a character, and having that be reflected back, and validated, and confirmed, without equivocation and without jokes, fuck yes that’s important!!

(Like, I can talk about how much I love Dairon and Bryce Feelid until the cows come home, but if once of the PCs I have Nonbinary Feelings about (for the record, all of them) got confirmed trans, fuck yes I’d cry! The whole campaign would be cast in a new light! My light! I am the sun, and everything my light touches is queer.)

Anon, please believe that I am doing my level best to reach through my computer and hug you. You’re not the only one who sees this as important. I saw the cast interact with the possibility of attraction between Caleb and Essek in a way that seem both oblivious and joking. Like many straight friends have been known to do. I thought, “I feel like Caleb is being played as a queer man, but I don’t think that it will be discussed unless it becomes “relevant”, specifically if an active romance plot arises”. I thought, the jokes will continue, and they’ll just be about sex, or the inherent comedy (/sarcasm/) of a man being attracted to other men, and I’ll just have to know in my heart that Caleb moves through the world in a queer way. I’ll just Know, and be content with my own knowledge. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again, I’m sure. But then, I don’t have to! MLM Caleb Is Real, and is not a joke, not to his creator. Knowing that Caleb has been bi or pan this whole time, just existing as a queer man in this story and this world is just ! It’s just the feeling “!” (oh and also <3)

[ambermation]

Part of Me (Lance x Fem!Child!Reader)

A Spies in Disguise Fanfic!

Key:

Y/N = Your Name                                                          

N/N = Nickname                                                                                    

B/F/N = Best Friend Name

3542 Words

~~~~~~~~

𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕖, 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕕

𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕀'𝕞 𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖, 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕞𝕖

~~~~~~~~

   You didn't think much of the way you felt towards girls. You assumed they were just platonic- sisterly, even- feelings. When you were younger, and had only been going to school for a few years now, had always preferred having a female partner to work with. You thought that most, if not all, of the girls in your class were quite pretty. The fact you thought you were a plain Jane, physically of course (and you still think this), boosted these thoughts. You were a shy little girl, and had managed to make a very outgoing, extroverted friend.

(B/F/N).

She helped you come out of your shyness a bit and slowly you started talking more and more. But since hardly anyone talked directly to you during work time or out on the playground you didn't get to talk much. It's funny considering the fact that at home, you talked to your uncle all the time. Sometimes you talked to other relatives, usually when they came for a visit from California (they moved there shortly after you were born, which is unrelated to the reason why btw), and even the many different women uncle Lance would bring home. Typically they'd come over at least three times, maybe four if they're lucky, and then you'd never see them again.

Back to you, since you were a genius like your biological father, you were able to start middle school at seven, start high school at eight, and now you're going to graduate at twelve years old. Half way through Freshman year of high school and you managed to make what you call "school buddies", who are people you don't really hang out with outside of school but you kind of do inside of school. (You did make two friends that you hang out with and talk to outside of school though other than your BFF.) They were chill, and most of them had conversations about nearly anything with everyone who wants to join included.

Sometimes they would talk about their relationships, breakups, crushes, and even their sexuality. When someone had started asking everyone what their sexual orientation was, you felt a flash of panic before calmly remembering that your were straight. Obviously you were. You had crushes on countless fictional guys and occasionally you'd find a random guy to be attractive. You thinking girls were cute and pretty had nothing to do with your sexuality and you were just being nice. You thought this way your whole life and never doubted the way you thought.

Of course, this was before you started to learn even more about sexual orientation.

Since the beginning of the year, when you first started to hang out with your school buddies, you managed to learn so much more about the LGBTQIA+ community than ever before since a lot of them were in it. At first, you barely talked and mainly listened to the discussions they would have, yet slowly you started talking more. You joined and even started a few conversations. It was just interesting to you.

Your school friends had brought up the word bisexual before, heck two of them were bi, and its definition was easy for you to understand. However, learning more about sexual preferences didn't immediately make you realize your own sexuality. You continued to read X Readers with guy characters, but one day you decided to read an x Reader for a female character you really loved. You figured it'd be cute, and it was, and thought nothing of that. Man, for a genius, you can be pretty dense sometimes, am I right?  Because it wasn't until you were daydreaming at home one day about another female character you love did you realize something. You didn't notice what you were actually daydreaming until it suddenly clicked.

You would love to have her as a girlfriend if she were real. You'd love to have so many characters as girlfriends. You were attracted to both girls and boys. You're..bisexual? The thought was just curious, as if you were  asked what's your favorite color, then you gave your answer, and then the person was confirming what you said. If that makes any sense. Being bisexual made sense to you and explained the way you felt towards girls and guys.

So you believed yourself to be bi without the courage, or need, to tell anyone. It's not like you didn't want people to know, well kind of; some people were were really against the LGBTQIA+ community, but that's besides the point, your friends would accept you. You just felt like you'd make a big deal out of nothing. But it wasn't nothing to you. It was a special nothing! It was a part of you that you wanted others to know about. And then the worried thoughts came in. How would your dad react?

You could never tell how he felt towards the queer. The two of you wouldn't really talk exclusively about the community; it just came up with other topics and even then you wouldn't even dip your toes into those discussions. It wasn't on purpose, it just came and went with the natural flow of the conversation. Dad seemed like he was neutral. But you weren't sure.

And, up until two months ago, you were thinking of ways to come out as bisexual to your dad. You stopped thinking of how to come out as bisexual due to your friends. After talking with your friends at lunch one day you learned another sexuality. Pansexual. Since you hadn't heard that word before you asked what it meant. At first, the way it was explained confused you. You didn't understand what your friend was saying, so another friend stepped in and explained in much easier to understand terms. The word pansexual kept ringing in your head, and once you got home you got on your computer and did some more research; research such as differences between bisexual and pansexual.

Shortly after researching the differences you understood that they were different. With a better understanding of pansexual you came to another realization; You didn't really care about someone's gender, you just cared if they loved you and cared about you the same way you would love and care for them. Thanks to your friend, you knew now that you were pansexual, not bisexual.

Great. Now you just had to come out as pansexual to dad!

Yaaaaaaayyy... Notice the sarcasm? Yeah you didn't know how to come out when you thought you were bi so you wouldn't know how to come out as pan.

~~~~~~~~

𝕀 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕦𝕟𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨𝕟

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕖

𝕀 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕀 𝕒𝕝𝕨𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕘𝕠

𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕞𝕪 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕝

~~~~~~~~

   (A/N: I'm using the word "daddy" even though reader is twelve because she's a rich kid. She's a bit spoiled too but she's a nice spoiled kid, you know? And I'm using it as a subconscious expression of the reader not having to grow up too much since she's related to the Lance Sterling. I imagine he's got a lot of money because have you even seen his car? And the fact there's the Sterling Private Jet Hanger? His Air pods? Dude's loaded. I chose to have Lance live in a very nice house that looks fancy but also quite normal (to blend in) because...why not? I felt the need to explain why I chose to use daddy instead of dad, father, etc. Also I felt like the lyrics above relate to the whole story I have for the reader, just not in the same context as the song they're from which is Sunflower.)

                                               Reader POV:

Why am I making such a big deal out of this? I mean, it's kind of a big deal. It's my sexuality and I don't know how daddy will react. I want him to know though. I try to think of what I'll say to him and when.

"Daddy?  I've got something important to say. Well, it's important to me at least, and I was hoping that you'd understand  or would try to understand. I'm pansexual."

I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. "No, that doesn't sound right to me. What can I say... to lead up to me saying 'I'm pansexual'?" I paced around my room, continuing to think of ways to come out. I'm not sure how daddy will respond to 'I have something important to say' other than making a joke. Probably. Even then I'm not sure what kind of joke he'd make. This was stupidly difficult and I wished I had the courage to just simply say it without any build up.

"That'd make things a lot easier if I could." I muttered, stopping my pacing to to sit down. I was planning on writing it down on paper, but instead I put my face in my hands and let out a disgruntled groan. Half of me was just screaming to simply say it whenever seemed like the best time while the other half was cowering in the corner of my mind bawling.

I get up from my desk so I can flop down on to my bed. If I can't figure out what to do then I'll just curl up under my blankets all cozy until I'm forced to get out.  I struggle to keep my eyes open and soon enough I succumb to a dreamless sleep.

I wake up to someone shaking me, their hands on my back and my shoulder.

"Hey, come on N/N, time to eat," A voice said. In my sleepy state I couldn't recognize the voice.

I mumble nonsense in response, searching and grabbing my blanket to pull it over me. I snuggle into the warmth of my bed, not wanting to leave. Before I could even stop it, my blanket was pulled off of me and thrown to the floor. My head snaps to look at my daddy. He looks at me with a deadpan look.

"You up now?" He asked. I groan and drop my head on to my pillow. "No." I answer, closing my eyes. Right after I do that I feel daddy's hands grab on to my wrists. He then starts pulling me up and away from my bed. I move like a ragdoll. "There's no napping before dinner. After dinner? Maybe. But not before. Now come on." Daddy says, still dragging me. I fall to the floor. Alright, that's enough. I pull out of his strong grip and stand up.

"Alright, alright! Geez..." I drag my hand up my face, swaying a little. "Why were you even napping?" He asks. I shrug. "I curled up in bed, and next thing I know you're waking me up," I try shooting him a glare, "Thanks by the way. I could've just ate later, when I woke up," I huff. Daddy laughs. "Aw, you don't want to spend time with your old man anymore? Man, I thought I had a few more years." He looks at me in mock sadness. I lightly shove him as I head towards the door.

"No need to be so dramatic." I tease. You're almost my best friend." We head down the hallway, side by side. Daddy laughs. "Almost?" He asks. I nod. As we're walking down the winding staircase I explain.

"Obviously (B/F/N)'s my best friend."

"Oh yeah...she's a strange one. But at least she's nice."

"Correction! She's nice, a total sweetheart, funny, witty, weird, dorky, and very smart."

"Uh, right. How's she doing?"

"From what she's told me, she's doing alright. She also jokes that I could do her science and math homework for her, of course I'm not and she doesn't mean it, but still," I answer, just as we reach the bottom of the stairs. "You're way too smart to being doing somebody else's homework, right Y/N?" Daddy asked. I nodded.

We talked some more as we reached the dining room/area. We were having Chinese takeout tonight and it smelled wonderful! We sat down and began to eat. In the back of my mind I was thinking about coming out, a thought that was slowly becoming more and more prominent until it was the one thing I was thinking about. We were talking, but as I thought about coming out more and more I started to talk less. I, of course, didn't know this. It wasn't until daddy snapped me out of my thought did I realize I kind of just...stopped responding to him. I look at him. Immediately I see amusement and some concern in his eyes.

"Honey, you got your head in the clouds or something?" He asked with amusement. I shake my head. "Nah, just thinking about something," I said, taking another bite of my food. "About what?" Daddy inquired. Of course he wants to know. "Something," I answer reticenty.

"Are you gonna tell me what this 'something' is?"

I pause, debating whether or not to tell him. Eh, sure, why not? I feel myself tense slightly.

"Well, I... it's kind of, or no, actually, not-not kind of... it's pretty important- to me, at least." As I speak I grab one of my wrists, squeezing it. My left leg was bouncing. "Honey you know you can tell me anything, right? Wait! You're not pregnant are you?" He questioned. I recoil in a mixture of disgust and horror.

"Wha- no!" I quickly answer. "No, are you kidding? That kid's life would suck man. Like you're telling me," I point at myself, "That I have to raise this kid? Geez I can't even use the oven without you breathing down my neck, how am I supposed to take care of a baby!" I joke and laugh. Daddy laughs too. I manage my laughter enough to talk. "Besides, I haven't, uh, started yet," I look down, fiddling with my hands. I'm uncomfortable talking about my period primarily due to my dad being, well, a dad,  i.e. a male without any female organs and personal experience dealing with said periods himself.

Daddy was also a bit uncomfortable talking about it, but he has assured that it's nothing to be ashamed of, so that's nice. He just wasn't used to having to deal with periods almost firsthand.  

"Sweetie I'm just messing with you. And when you do..." He trails off, moving his hand in a 'You know' gesture, "Uh, start, don't be afraid to tell me. I'll help anyway I can," He says before taking another bite of food. I nod. I take the brief moment of silence to take a sip from my drink. Daddy speaks up again. "So what were you actually gon' say?"

I ponder whether or not I should continue. On one hand, I've piqued his interest with me saying how important what I was gonna say. So it'd be odd for me to now say that it's not that important a few minutes after saying how important it was. On the other hand...it doesn't seem right to come out now anymore. I lost what little confidence I had, which was barely any, but still.

"Eh, never mind. It's actually not that important; I was just being dramatic. Ya know, like you," I said, smirking by the end of my sentence. Daddy huffs and rolls his eyes, clearly in a playful way. "The world's greatest spy can't be dull, Princess. I've gotta had some flavor to the job," He retorts.

"Oh, so going around the world, beating bad guys, 'saving the say', isn't dramatic enough?"

"Oh it is. But I bring an extra flare to it."

"Whatever you say Daddy," I say, focusing on my food. Daddy doesn't seem bothered by my sudden decision to not say what was "so important"; that's good. I'll come out another time.

We finish our dinner and as we're cleaning up I ask if we could watch a movie. "Sure. Which movie?" Daddy asks as we go to the living room. "(Fav. movie)?" I suggest, knowing that Daddy will probably agree, regardless if he likes the movie or not. As I predicted, he agreed. I happily got the movie and after everything else was set up (our spots on the couch, the movie being ready to play, and lighting) we sat down and watched it. I didn't have school tomorrow (yay for Friday!) so I didn't have to worry about getting ready for bed after the movie's over.

I was laying on the couch, my head and back leaning against daddy, who was leaning against the couch. The movie was almost over, so I was thinking of whether or not I wanted to watch another one. On one hand, yes. Please. I'd love that. On the other hand, I kind of wanted to watch YouTube. Soon enough the movie ends and the credits roll with the accompanying music. I was about to get up when daddy spoke.

"So Y/N, I was wondering about what you wanted to say earlier. Ya know, since you said it was important." I look up at my dad. "I also said that it wasn't important." I retorted. "Yeah, but thing is, you tend to do that a lot. You say something's important to you, then say it isn't, then I find out what it is and it turns out to be important to you. So why don't we speed things up huh?"

I look down, fiddling with my fingers. "...It's really not important this time. I promise..." I say gingerly. I feel daddy's hand on my shoulder. I turn to look at him. "Sweetie, you know you can tell me anything right?" At this I laugh. Daddy pulls his hand away, clearly confused by me laughing.

"What? You know you can! What's so funny?" He asks bewildered. Smiling I answer. "It's because all parents say that. I just found it funny." I make eye contact with him. I see his eyes light up with realization before becoming serious again.

"But it's true! Y/N I love you, and whenever you feel the need to tell me something, I hope and want you to tell me. As soon as possible," He says, emphasizing the last bit by moving his hand. I go back to looking at my hands, frowning. I did want to tell him, but part of me was saying that I shouldn't. One little voice. A voice that was being quite persuasive, and yet I was still debating whether or not I should-

Daddy's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. "Hey, where'd that happy smile go? It was just here." I don't smile; I try to deepen my frown instead. Daddy scoffs. I turn my head to look away, crossing my arms. Unfortunately, since I was looking away, I couldn't see the light bulb that went off in daddy's head.

I involuntarily break into a fit of giggles as a pair of hands starts tickling my sides. I wiggle and see my daddy's hands tickling me. "Ah, there it is! My beautiful daughter's smile." I vigorously shook my head at his compliment. My body was still squirming from his tickling. However, me shaking my head made him stop, so I stopped squirming and tried to relax. "What? No, N/N you are beautiful. You are my beautiful little girl in my eyes, always," Daddy says lovingly. Breathing heavily, I let his words sink in.

I fell off the couch during daddy's tickle attack, so the both of us were on the floor. I turn to lay on my stomach, facing the TV (which was now back at the title screen). Daddy lays down next to me. He crosses his arms and lays his head on them, facing me. I look back at him. I give him a smile. He smiles back. His expression is laced with love and amusement. Then he gives me a look that says "Will you tell me now?" My eyes dart away for a second before looking back at him. I focus on his elbow; I just can't make eye contact with him while saying this.

"I'm pansexual." I say, eyes still staring at his elbow.

"Oh..."

Daddy says in a tone I can't place at the moment. I pull my gaze away from his elbow to his face. He sits up, so I copy him. "Thank you for trusting me, Y/N. This doesn't change how I feel about you. I still love you," Daddy pulls me into a hug. I return the hug, relieved by his words. "Do your friends know?"

"No they don't. Only you know daddy." I answer, breaking the hug to look at him. He cups a hand on my cheek. "If you want them to know, them come out to them when you feel like you should. Don't feel forced to tell them, okay sweetie?"

I nodded. He kisses my forehead. "Good." I give a small smile. Daddy leans back a little, his hands supporting himself. "You wanna know something?" He asks, a smirk on his lips. Questioningly, I look at him, raising one brow. Daddy smiles. "Trust me, you'll like this," He said. I think about it for a second before nodding. Daddy straightens out his posture, no longer needing his hands for support. He claps said hands together.  

"Okay, so I remember one time when I was visiting you and your parents, you were three around this time, and we were just talking. Then the conversation ended up about you. Your mom had said that she wouldn't be surprised if you were attracted to both girls and boys. Your dad, however, disagreed. he thought you would be straight." At this my mouth dropped slightly and my eyes widened. "How did she-?"

"I don't know. Mother's intuition, I guess? But your dad was adamant that you were straight. He finally shut up once he saw the glare your mom was giving him." Daddy smiles, probably at the memory. "Huh. Well, mom was close. I'm basically gender blind." I laugh.

"Y/N," Daddy says, his hands on both of my arms, "Again, thank you for trusting me enough with this. I love you, N/N." He kisses my forehead once more before hugging me again.

"I love you too, Daddy."

The End

(WOOOH I'VE FELT HORRIBLE ABOUT HOW LONG THIS WAS TAKING!!! I hope you enjoyed reading this! This idea came to me, and I thought: Since a lot of fans say that Walter is gay, and Lance supports his gay son (obviously!), what about Lance being supportive of a pan daughter? I was not too sure how to end it, so I hope it was not too sudden! Thanks for reading!!! :D)

[sun-stomach]

Things we need to discuss

The fact that although things have evolved and changed since then, pansexual does have transphobic orgins and rose out of a misunderstanding of bisexuality. Lest we forget the label was forged by misguided bisexuals, yeah some of us kinda screwed up. It wasn't an external thing.

The fact tha cis people may not recognize things or understand how some things are transphobic and that we need to listen to trans people and their perspectives and learn more about transness in general. I am saying this as a cis person because I didn't understand that aspect of the whole debacle at first.

Things we need to aknowledge

The fact that we have collectively been supporting pansexuality along bisexuality for years before without being aware of the transphobic implications

Pansexuals are an established community and it's only natural that they're partial to that label

Pan and bi have been differed by more things than just including trans people or "not". (Ie. Not having a prefence for a gender over another or not having a fluctuation of attraction between genders, etc.)

Some pan and bi people have recognized that the distinction between their labels is more and more nebulous and have been cool with it.

There are pan and bi people who are not cool with each other as well. A lot of bi people are understandably hurt and and I am sure some pan people use their label to claim some sort of superiority over bi people and others who don't understand how it could be transphobic.

Being attracted to multiple genders is a complicated experience so it's understandable that different people have different perspectives and ways of describing their attraction

Things I am seeing

A lot of people suddenly turning on pan people and calling them biphobic and transphobic without much explanation

Bi, pan and nb and other trans people fighting and being completely tone deaf to eachothers different experiences and struggles

Basically very unproductive and misguided infighting, we're just "choosing sides" and fighting instead of discussing anything and trying to find a solution.

No "side" is going to win this way.

Now I'm not sure what the solution is but I know that pan people are already here and we can't and should not just shame them away or into other labels. That is not what labels are for nor how they should be used. To paint them all as transphobic and biphobic just for using that label is frankly shortsighted and not that much different than calling bi people transphobic because of biphobia. Yes I know the context is different but the result is the same, you shame people for the label they chose. I am also frankly quite sure that most pan people weren't even aware of it's orgins and chose it because it made for sense to describe their attraction to people that way.

I know a lot of other i people have been hurt by pansexuality and I am not saying you can't be hurt but more than anyone you should consider that perhaps there is more nuance to this conversation and that people aren't inherently transphobic for choosing a label.

Personally I think it'd be a great start too stop trying to differentiate the two by using the "shorthand" definitions of bi and pan as attracted to 2+ genders/my gender and others vs all genders and switch to something else. Pehaps:

both are the attraction to all genders they just use different labels

they're synonymous, pan is another word for bi

both are attracted to all genders there's just different history,etc.

I know many people still view pan and bi as different but honestly a lot of people don't and to get anywhere maybe we should work towards that instead of tearing eachother down. We don't have to put anyone down to bring justice to bi and trans people. On the flipside we also have to hear how bi and trans people have been hurt by this and see what else is left to make right.

[norgestan]

I’ve tried to have this discussion before, but the context of the fact that so many fans from Spain (and even the cast) say stuff like “pansexuality isn’t real” or make fun of/insult people who identify as pan and say “that’s not part of our culture” is exactly the reason WHY some fans take issue with skam espana’s “bisexuality vs pansexuality” scene more than other versions. Because you just can’t separate the intention of the scene and how +

I’m sure the creators knew it was going to be received by the home audience, from the dialogue and message of the scene. Does that make sense? I don’t know if I’m getting my point across. I just feel like so many people like to pretend that certain fans are just being hypocritical for being upset by that scene in skam espana more than the og/other remakes, but that added context IS there. (2/2)

i can totally agree with you on the first bit, i feel like there’s definitely people who have taken it too far. i myself agree with the spanish view of pansexuality yet i would never go out of my way to attack people for identifying as pan (in my ideal world everyone takes a look of what the debate should really be about so we can be civil in regards of this issue... but this is social media and stan circles we’re talking about, so LOL).

however, and at the cost of stirring this fully rotten issue one more time... how is the dialogue and framing of the scene in itself a form to validate the “pansexuality isn’t real” debate in spain??? like, let’s look at the facts. this is how the dialogue goes down like:

viri: so does this mean you’re a lesbian?

cris: no! i mean, no. i don’t know. i know i like joana, and that’s it.

eva: either way, you used to really like guys. a lot.

cris: yeah! fuck, i still like them, girl, i don’t know, i’ve always liked them.

nora: then, you can be bisexual, no?

cris: maybe. it’s just that i don’t know what the categories are, i mean, how am i supposed to know what’s mine?

viri: let’s see, there’s not that much confusion anyway? you’re either lesbian or bisexual, no? and now "pansexual” is there too, no?

nora: girl, that’s the same thing. bisexuals like the people of their same gender and the opposite gender... i think.

eva: well now, you guys are getting intense. the important thing is, [to cris] are you happy?

this is the point in which the conversation clearly deranges. when viri begins to talk about how cris could be a lesbian, bi or pan, amira is literally facepalming herself and eva is laughing in the background. when nora jumps in to correct viri, eva realizes that it has gone for too long and dismisses the two girls to shift the conversation back to cris. i actually really appreciate how awkward this entire scene feels lol, because it’s a realistic outcome and it really balances the girls’ love for cris vs their incapacity to handle this subject well, as they’re all (so far) cis and straight girls. and to an extent, that’s the intention of the scene, to show that they all have good intentions but can say the wrong things anyway (discussing cris’ sexuality when she had just told them she is not sure/doesn’t know enough, viri immediately asking if they have had sex, eva implying that cris can’t be attracted to girls because she was really into guys some months ago and then the comment about their sex life, etc). and it’s the same thing that happened with lucas’ coming out scene in s1: eva told lucas that she and jorge had discussed the possibility of him being gay, and then she fires back at him with the whole cristian drama. but in both scenes, the important thing is that despite their ignorance regarding conversations of LGBT+, they’re supportive of them and there for each other, and in the long run, willing to learn and create a safer space for them (see: lucas’ youtube video where eva and him discuss homophobic microaggressions). and of course there’s never gonna be a perfect reaction: skames did a really good job showing a realistic coming out that is positive for the protagonist and in line with its imperfect characters’ personalities and experiences.

so like, in what universe is this scene meant to discredit pansexuality and pansexuality alone, when the phrase happens in the context where the girls are discussing something that literally NO one in the room understands? and it’s not like you have to look reaaaaally hard into it to come out with the fact that 17 y/o cishet girls aren’t the most versed about the lgbt+ community, it’s LITERALLY explicitly stated that no one is sure about what they’re talking about (cris outright says she hasn’t done any research, viri is trying to be supportive all while having conflicted feelings about cris being with a girl lol, and nora’s straight to the point “...i think”). and even then, it’s not like nora says anything incorrect: i’m pretty sure pansexual people can agree that both pan and bi people are attracted to the same group of people. and when i was in high school, most people around me couldn’t tell the difference between the two either. (way better than saying matter of a fact that pan people are attracted to genders and bi people are atracted to sexes, cough cough)

anyone could watch the scene and understand what the intention was. when i watched the clip years ago, i had no idea of the spanish perception of pansexuality and didn’t until i entered the fandom (although i had heard the discussions about pansexuality in other circles) and the scene does NOTHING to educate you about LGBT+ culture and history in spain (how can they when it’s established that these girls aren’t well-versed on the subject?). the only thing you could come out from that scene, is that these girls... kinda don’t know shit about it.

i can totally see why people can have problems with the pansexuality discourse in the skames and skamverse fandom, as well as the comments that came from the cast. and as i’ve said multiple times now, you don’t have to justify yourself if you don’t wanna watch a remake, and no one can tell you what to do about it: the decision is entirely yours. however, i completely disagree that the showrunners’ intention was to make a statement on the validity of pansexuality because of spain’s culture. and i lack the knowledge to make this point, but i find it hard to believe that the pansexual issue in skames is the only example on the skamverse of creators, actors and fans sticking up to a plotline/comment that invalidates or harms a minority group.

[fu-si-un]

/DON’T REBLOG; THIS IS A DRAFT of a post that will probably be available to reblog at a later time. but if you have feedback, pls feel free to voice it in either the replies (not reblogs) or my pms!!!/

If we think about the initial, pathologizing use of “bi-sexuality” to refer to a person’s sexual orientation in Chaddock’s 1892 translation of Psychopathia Sexualis, I don’t believe that the “bi-” prefix was directly referencing two genders or sexes (as it is unfortunately often conceptualized as doing). When you observe the word bisexuality alongside the words heterosexuality and homosexuality, to read the prefix as explicitly referring to a number of genders or sexes would not seem fit in with the pattern.

Rather, I believe the “two” referenced having two “orientations,” in the sense of being oriented in two different-facing directions. These two orientations are understood to be “homosexuality” and “heterosexuality.” (Note: I think @woman-loving may have talked about this, or at least, something she talked about influenced my thought process here. I want to mention that her discussion of bisexuality has informed the following paragraphs as well.)

So, the terminology of bisexuality conceptualized us as both “homosexual” and “heterosexual,” or at least having the potential to participate in both “homosexuality” and “heterosexuality.”

Related to this, conceptualizations of bisexuals as both gay and straight, as participating in both gayness and straightness, or as half-gay and half-straight have the potential to cause harm through the internalization of the idea of a divided identity, rather than a unified one.

Some nonbinary people and agender people may have additional reasons to feel that this conceptualization of bisexuality as, more or less, homosexuality plus heterosexuality does not deal adequately with their realities—as their gender may be such that, for example, thinking of their relationships with men or women in terms of either “homosexuality” or “heterosexuality” would be misgendering. (Note: the considerations mentioned in this paragraph were informed by a different but related point @socialcontagion​ brought up previously.)

Alternative terminology (in addition to its ability to bear new specificity) may provide one means of avoiding the problems mentioned in the previous two paragraphs. Prefixes like “pan-” or “omni-,” meaning “all” rather than “two,” may avoid invoking a bifurcation. These terms may thus avoid the implication that one’s relationships can necessarily be understood in terms of either “heterosexuality” or “homosexuality,” which may particularly benefit those who would be misgendered by such conceptualizations.

Of course, this is not to suggest that these terms are free of their own issues. Namely, when they have been conceptualized as orientations that are separate from / non-overlapping with (reclaimed) bisexuality, trans and intersex people have been gravely harmed by the transphobic, intersexist implication that attraction to them is uncommon or unusual enough that it’s reflective of a unique orientation. Trans and intersex bisexuals or biromantics have been particularly harmed, due to the additional erasure of—and others’ misinformed speaking over of—their bi identities.

Bi people reclaim bisexuality or biromanticism; those of us who claim these words in the present may draw from a rich history of bisexual activism for support and self-understanding (which often factors into our choice to reclaim “bi-sexuality”). There is no singular, universal bisexuality or biromanticism—our experiences of attraction and our conceptualizations of these terms, as applied to ourselves, are unique and varied. We often reject the notion that the word “straight” can serve as an accurate descriptor of any of our relationship experiences, whether or not those relationships are composed of a woman and a man (and whether or not our partners are straight). Many of us benefit from statements like, “bisexuals are not half-straight and half-gay—we’re bisexual,” thus forging a whole, unique identity from a word that was originally applied to us in the context of homophobic and biphobic pathologization. I am proud of us for these reasons. Hopefully not overly proud; I do not wish to forget that like others, we have the ability to harm other marginalized people in connection to overprioritizing the specificity of our own concepts. But I am happy for us. <3

Regardless of whether they use the “bi-” prefix for themselves, which is a decision that belongs to them, I’ll always also recognize people who might have been categorized, in the language of pathology, within “bi-sexuality” as being part of my community—specifically, the community of people who experience attraction across the continuum of gender, and who are harmed by biphobia. Pansexual or panromantic people, omnisexual or omniromantic people, polysexual or polyromantic people, those of you who describe yourselves as queer or fluid, and anyone who uses other words—whether or not you also describe yourself with words like bisexuality or biromanticism should have no bearing on our ability to extend each other solidarity. You have found words to express your specificity. You may have fostered community with others who conceptualize themselves through those words. You can be proud for these reasons. hopefully not overly proud; you should not wish to forget that like others, you have the ability to harm other marginalized people in connection to overprioritizing the specificity of your own concepts. But you can be happy, and I am happy for you. <3

/DON’T REBLOG, AGAIN, AS THIS IS A DRAFT/

[oldtvandcomics]

I've seen some posts going around about Crowley/Aziraphale being queerbaiting in the Good Omens series. I'm afraid I will regret writing this, but I have OPINIONS, said opinions being less about Good Omens and more about Tumblr not necessarily understanding the way audiovisuel storytelling and the queer community work, and maybe it's worth taking a moment to think closer about these things.

Spoilers for Good Omens (2019) and some allusions to the Discourse below the cut. Also, long post. You have been warned.

I probably should say here that I liked Good Omens, am myself aro ace, and am of the opinion that Crowley/Arizaphale is canon. So yes, personal bias exists, although I am going to do my best to be objective. Also, I haven't read the book yet, so am only going to be talking about the series.

(Ignoring hereby that they are supposed to be agender. It is a very good series, but they really, REALLY should have found a way to include that piece of information.)

This is a surprisingly complex question, that can be boiled down to three different problems: First, the way people analyze audiovisuel stories (in this case, television, but the argument also stands for movies), second, the term “queerbaiting” not being clear enough and also used too broadly, and third, people's still too narrow view of what is and isn't queer.

In this order, I am going to start with the way tv (and movies) work. It is the least controversial.

One of the things that I love about tv so much is just how complex and layered it is. There is what is directly said and shown to happen, but than there is the music, the acting, the costumes, locations, camera angles and editing, all of which have their own language and add something to how we will see a story. If you watch Good Omens, you'll notice that the exact nature of Crowley's and Aziraphale's relationship never is directly addressed or them confirmed to be queer. However, you will also notice the way they keep looking at each other, the fact that romantic music plays in the background for an awful lot of their scenes together, that they do and say things on a regular basis that goes further than the normal limits of a friendship, and the list goes on. This show is as clear about them loving each other very, very deeply as it possibly can be without directly talking about it.

This, of course, leads us to the question: What is and isn't text? What level of queercoding counts as representation? And this is where things get a little more complicated, because there IS NO clear line. People usually say that it doesn't count, unless the correct term is used. Which makes sense, given everybody's tendency to just... Idk, make a movie about somebody fighting his ex without ever telling us that he is, in fact, his ex, and than hope that they can get away with either the queer fans doing all the hard work of reading between the lines, or just write a couple of tweets about how they're totally gay and get credit for the representation.

Seriously, people, don't do that. If there is a way to use the terms, do it.

But there is a gray area. Welcome to Night Vale never labeled Cecil's orientation, yet we still know that he's gay. That scene they cut from Thor: Ragnarok of Valkyrie leaving the room of a woman? It never said that she was bi. I mean, I haven't seen it, but from what I know, I'd bet A LOT of money that, had they included it, people still would have complained about it not being clear enough. We still act as if including it would have confirmed Valkyrie's bisexuality. What about period pieces, set in times when certain labels didn't exist yet? And, finally, what if a relationship would actually benefit from being left vague and undefined?

There is no clear answer to this. It's a gray are, so feel free to just sit around and think about your own opinion on these things.

Which leads us to queerbaiting: Creators playing up the fact that they MIGHT have a queer character or relationship in their work for publicity, without ever planning to include it. It's a thing that happens both inside and outside of the story. In practice, this usually looks like putting in a lot of subtext between two same-sex characters, including suggestive scenes in the trailers, and going in interviews “well, they could be, it's an ongoing series, you'll just have to wait and see. ;) ”.

Queerbaiting is a VERY vague and very popular term, that is used very broadly, even in cases where it isn't exactly accurate. It is not exactly easy to tell what is actual queerbaiting, and what queercoding because Higher Powers wouldn't let the creators include openly queer characters in their work. Than there is of course the cases where queer characters are kind of there, but it's a blink-and-you-miss-it thing. I've heard the term “queercatching” used for that in a video. Also, queerbaiting is an accusation people like throwing around every time a show disappoints them by not making their OTP canon. (Stop doing that, PLEASE!)

In this context, it is understandably difficult to say if a certain ship is or isn't queerbaiting. However, I would argue that Crowley and Aziraphale are not. I haven't seen all the promotional things going on, so no idea how big of a selling point their relationship was. But I do know that everyone behind the scenes seems to agree that those two love each other very, very deeply, and the show itself isn't trying to hide it. On the contrary, it goes out of it's way to draw our attention to it. To anyone who is watching halfway attentively, it is going to be very, very clear that what those two have going on is NOT straight.

Which leads us to our final point: What is and isn't queer.

Oh dear. It is a topic that is still hotly debated within the community (at least on Tumblr), mostly by people trying to exclude certain orientations or keep other people from using certain terms.

Queer is an umbrella term used for members of the LGBT+ community, meaning “not straight”. It may refer to gender identity, romantic or sexual orientation, and things that don't quite belong in any of the boxes we have. The beauty of the term “queer” is exactly that it is so huge and so vague that it exceeds all boxes and definitions. A really handy thing to have, if you want people to know what you're talking about without needing to give them an hour-long vocabulary lesson first.

Please note here that so far, I have avoided using any labels for Crowley, Arizaphale, or their relationship. Please also not that while I did say that they love each other very deeply, I never used the word “romantic”.

Because here is the thing: I really don't think that they're gay. Or bi, or pan. Or anything else, really. They, and their relationship, like the term “queer”, fall outside of any predetermined categories. It is just, really, really, really clear that what's going on isn't heteronormative.

I have seen many aces being happy and feeling seen and seeing themselves in Crowley and Aziraphale in Good Omens. I've also seen many aros think the same thing. Because here is the beauty of it: We only know that they love each other more than anything else in the world. It is never said that that love is romantic.

I've also seen many allos completely miss this point.

Asexuality and aromanticism, as is to be expected from orientations that are defined by the lack of something, are still very invisible, both in RL and in fan circles.  While we do have our own spaces and our own little community, mostly we are just there between our allo friends and... kind of stand and wait in a corner while they are busy with the sex and romance our society is constantly throwing at all of us. Being ace and/or aro is often confused with “being celibate”. We don't talk enough about what sexless or romanceless relationships could look like. No wonder so many people missed it when they saw one in Good Omens.

The queer community is STILL very strongly sexualized. And this is a problem, because while sexual attraction IS an important part of being queer, it is also not the only one. Queer people are still queer if they are not having sex. They are queer if they DON'T WANT TO have sex. They are queer if they don't enter romantic relationships. There is nothing straight about the close bonds aros can have with their friends. There is nothing straight about having a friend be the person you are emotionally closest to, close enough to openly beg them to run away together. Multiple times.

Queerplatonic or quasiplatonic relationships are the ones that are a bit difficult to define, because they are somewhere between “friendship” and “romantic relationship”. What they look like depends really on what the people involved want them to be like. Some live together, others don't. Some do things together that are usually considered to be romantic, others don't. Some kiss or have sex, others don't.

So far, I haven't really seen anybody really talk about the existence of queerplatonic relationships outside of ace and aro circles. And while I aggressively headcanon Sherlock Holmes and John Watson being queerplatonic, this was the first time that I've really seen an actual relationship onscreen that can be easily, or even best, read as being one.

But almost by definition, this means that it has to be vague, and subtle, and floating around somewhere around the lines separating friends from romantic partners. As such, I think that Good Omens did a really good job, giving us a relationship that is so obviously loving but also so beyond easy descriptions. However, this also means that it is easy to miss and end up feeling baited.

The problem is, I'm not sure that they COULD have done it better. Any explicit discussion about Crowley's and Aziraphale's relationship would have felt forced and out of place, and the term queerplatonic isn't enough known, they would have had to follow it up with an explanation of what that even is. And it isn't as if they could have made it any clearer how much they love each other as they did.

Some people say that they should have kissed onscreen.

Betty and Veronica in the Riverdale tv series kissed, and we all still know that it was only queerbaiting.

And isn't that, wouldn't that be, in the end, reducing queerness once more to the sexual bit in queer relationships?

I don't know. As I said, there is no clear answer, and in the end of the day, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

I suppose, the best I can say is that what Good Omens did with Crowley and Aziraphale is very beautiful and well executed and also undoubtedly queer. It is, also, not enough. We still live in a time where we don't have much representation, and therefore all collectively jump on anything we can find. As long as this is the case, people will always be unsatisfied with everything. We need more. More explicit, more sexual, more romantic, yes, but also more quiet and subtle and undefined loving ones.

Anyway. I just had to write my opinion on this, because I REALLY didn't like what looked like a group of people dismissing a queer relationship because it wasn't sexual. This isn't even about Good Omens, not really, more about Tumblr being generally Tumblr and not seeing nuance and not thinking things through.

So... Please learn how to properly analyze audiovisual stories. Please be more careful and think a little before you start throwing around the term “queerbaiting”. And, please, PLEASE take a minute to think through if what you are doing isn't in fact sexualizing queer people and excluding parts of the community because of a too narrow definition of queerness.

And finally, PLEASE leave Gaiman alone. One, he has no obligation towards you whatsoever, and two, this was originally a thirty year old book that, three, he co-wrote with a now deceased friend. Being critical of media is one thing, and obviously, Good Omens isn't perfect. But... Just think about what you're doing before you do it, ok?

[philosophiums]

i don’t fully agree with the way the op talked about this but a) there is lgbtq as identity and then there’s lgbtq as a political coalition. neither you nor op made any distinction between them and of course there’s overlap but that’s part of the issue with this whole argument. second not all ace people are straight obviously but a cisgender heterosexual person is what people are referring to when they talk about straight people. i don’t think that’s about exclusion it’s about being honest >>

about privilege imo plus the split attraction model is deeply problematic for a lot of reasons, namely that it assumes that “””allosexual””” lgbtq people somehow don’t experience atypical attraction or have complicated relationships with sex. that may not be the intention but it’s a problematic way to frame the conversation. like mogai culture has a lot of problems and if this is about community those concerns should be taken seriously. idk op was not wording things well but i think > >your response didn’t necessarily address some of the actual issues with mogai and/or the aro/ace discourse. like i think this has devolved into a “who can be in the club” argument and that’s not the point either “side” is trying to make. idk i just think this is an issue almost exclusively on the internet and it would be more productive for us all to discuss solutions bearing in mind historical and social context. i am really sorry some fuck sent you death threats over this though wtf

oh hey look an actual reasonable discussion. i’m going to break this down into a numbered list to stay a bit organized and try to address things as you brought them up so please don’t think the list is my way of being like... snappy or something

100% agree. lgbt as an identity vs lgbt as a political coalition are different but not mutually exclusive. lgbt+ is a looooong acronym and includes a broad range of alignments and identities, and it’s great that so many people can find comfort and community in that identity, and i think that anyone who feels like they’re not solidly cishet is welcome to try on some identities or keep themselves as “questioning” and educate themselves further about different identities and the community history, and no one should be held back from exploring because - shocker - identities and our understanding of them change frequently, especially in relation to ourselves

genuinely i think the split attraction model is the biggest problem here. and place the blame for this wherever you like (media, society, the church™, whatever). like i hate that our options are I Have/Want Sex All The Time vs Maybe I’m Acespec. that’s not.... how attraction works. that’s not how people work. the ace spectrum is.... so strange to me because “ace” as in “actually asexual” can not, by default (in my opinion) be cishet, because the “ace” replaces the “het.” they would be cis ace. unfortunately, i think a lot of the ace spectrum is full of sexuality modifiers (demi is probably the most popular one). demi isn’t actually.... a sexuality. i think it’s a valid identity and i think it should be allowed in the community, but we circle back to, then, the difference between lgbt as an identity and lgbt as a political coalition

i am 100% with everyone on the whole “some acespec people are cishet” thing. a cis girl who IDs as demi (i’ve already used it once i’ll keep going with it) but who is pretty sure she’ll only ever be attracted to cis guys is welcome to use lgbt as an identity, but shouldn’t have a say in lgbt as a coalition. she’s still cishet, because even though demi is “ace” in the absolute loosest of terms (because it’s on the spectrum), it’s a modifier. the reason i get so worked up about ace discourse posts is that no one who makes them bothers to differentiate between asexual and the rest of the spectrum - they just say “ace” and refuse to acknowledge it as its own sexuality. asexuality is, by default, not cishet. and like... i’m saying this as someone who ID-ed as demi for a long time because i was still convinced due to social expectations that “surely i have to want to have sex i just need to find the right person” 

however, of course, you then get into the complications of “some people who were cishet but who were abused are now ID-ing as asexual and should they be allowed to ID as lgbt as a coalition.” well... no. they have always been cishet. if they want to actually ID as asexual then i think they can use lgbt as an identity, but the other side of it isn’t open to them

also please don’t get me started on romantic attraction i’m not even sure it’s a super real thing i honestly think it’s something (western) society more or less made up by uplifting the ideals of marriage and more or less banning close physical contact between friends because honestly how do you even define romance as an attraction it’s bonkers 

i didn’t touch on this stuff in my initial reply to the post because every time there’s ace discourse it always seems to boil down to “we can’t be adults and understand that there’s nuance and complications to all of this so we’re just going to hate all acespec people and try to ban them from ID-ing as lgbt and they’re only valid if they also hastily say that they’re trans or wlw/mlm but they’re on thin ice.” and that pisses me off because if you think you’re in a sound enough place to start dictating who is and isn’t allowed to say “i fit into the lgbt political coalition” then you need to be less line-in-the-sand about it and more understanding to the fact that some people who identify as ace actually aren’t cishet Even If They’re Still Cis And Not Bi/Gay/Pan/Etc. because asexual is. literally. a sexuality and you can’t be het if you’re not. attracted to people?

but yeah like......... no one can really be the Identity Police and say that someone who thinks themselves to be something other than the social standard of cishet isn’t allowed to identify as lgbt (allies can fuck off they don’t get to be in the acronym but like.... it’s open ended with a + for a reason). and i think that anyone who wants to identify as lgbt needs to start doing some research on different identities and on the history of lgbt as a political coalition and it’s evolution as an identity as well. and you’re right - none of this actually exists in the real world, because it typically happens that getting into discussions in the real world results in learning instead of tightening your grip on your beliefs (which is how tumblr discussions always go; everyone gets defensive and no one actually learns anything)

and i’m not saying that even i’m 100% right. everything is so dependent on minute details and individual identities. we get so used to binaries that i think it’s difficult, sometimes, to remember that no two people are in the same exact place on the spectrum. no one experiences their sexuality the way another person does. sometimes even the definitions of terms and identities are different for different people, and they change so damn frequently

thank you for being a reasonable human being and please feel free to keep up the discussion if you want to ♡♡♡