#i am NOT talking about specific actions other than: changing the meaning of past lyrics is overstepped in my opinion

[florida3exclamationpoints]

did I start somewhere I really didn't mean to start anything

[akechi-stole-my-heart]

no more what ifs - a goro akechi meta

Inspired by a meta I reblogged a bit ago. It was really good and you should read it, as it serves as a good companion piece to this analysis, but it didn't analyze the song through the specific lens I personally believe it's meant to be seen through--that is, the Third Semester/Maruki's reality. Don't get me wrong, I think the song can be applied to Akechi in general, just that we can't truly understand the depths of its meaning unless we view it through the lens of what Akechi is feeling in the Third Semester. Needless to say, that's what I'll be doing here.

People come and they go Some people may stay with you though I am all alone tonight and I kept on Asking myself questions

Akechi has lived most of his life alone. People have come and gone temporarily, but no one has really stuck until Joker entered his life. (I don't think I need to make the case that it's Joker he's talking about when he says some people stay with you, I think it's pretty obvious it has to be him.) Joker, someone he can't comprehend, the only person he's let in. Akechi can't understand Joker, so naturally, he's constantly thinking of him, and why he's stuck with him when so many others haven't.

Conceited I was at time I never really doubted myself But tonight got me thinking about it all If I am the fool or what not

All Akechi can do in the Third Semester is think about his choices and his mistakes and wonder if he did the right thing and what led him here. He's been forced to live (for now) after everything he'd worked and lived for fell apart under him. He's reflecting on his past arrogance and how that blinded him.

"If I am the fool or what not" holds a double meaning. Akechi is doubting if he was a fool in the general sense, if he was made a fool for his plan of revenge. But he's also wondering if he was the Fool in the Persona sense of the word (something that will have a payoff at the end of the song).

I do not Regret with my choices I'm rather proud Ooh I know I won't change Anything Because I can only be me so

Akechi can't afford regret. To regret would be to admit that Maruki's ideal reality, where his choices were erased, has any hold on him. To regret would be to let go of the person he is and the person he has become.

Who Akechi really is is another topic that can be elaborated on ad nauseum, so I won't do that here. Maybe I'll do that another time when I finally write the meta about Akechi and agency that's been living in my head for a long while.

Suffice to say, Akechi believes his choices, his actions, his revenge, all define him. He refuses to let Maruki erase them just because they don't fit with his ideal reality. Akechi is fundamentally incompatible with everything Maruki stands for, and he knows it.

How can I be so sure? At a crossroads I'm afraid too But I can't let fear get the best of me Someone once said burn my dread babe

"Burn my dread" is a reference to a song from Persona 3. I haven't played the entire game as of yet, but Persona 3 is a game all about facing and accepting death. "Burn my dread" is a lyric that points to this theme, and the theme of facing one's fears head-on.

Akechi is dead. He knows this perhaps from the very moment he comes back to life. He certainly knows it for most of the Third Semester. He is dead, and to reject Maruki's reality, to embrace himself, is to face that death for the second time, and accept it. But Akechi can't let his fear of death stop him from making his choice. He will die on his own terms and "burn his dread."

Who knows what tomorrow holds? Just wanna live my life the way I want What fills up my soul is passionate Music that makes me want to sing

This is, yet again, Akechi asserting that he will be himself, that he will find meaning in life on his own terms, and that he will not let anyone other than himself define who he is or what he wants. Music is dynamic and complex, something that can express deep truths of one's soul. The Jazz Jin, a place of music, is Akechi's in a way very little else is. It's not Shido's puppet's, not the Detective Prince's, but Akechi's place of solitude and self reflection. It is the place he decides to share with Joker--in a way, he is baring his very soul to Joker. Letting him into his heart.

My story will be starring me just like yours ooh ooh Who knows when will it end What matters most is how you bring joy to life so

This is paying off the beginning of the song. Akechi is asserting that the world doesn't revolve around Joker. Goro is the Fool, he is the main character, he is not defined by anyone but himself and himself alone.

And the last two lines simply restate themes running throughout the song. Akechi is himself. He will accept his death when it comes, and he will not live by anyone's rules but his own.

No More What Ifs shows us the doubt that Akechi rarely expresses that runs deep to his core. Wondering if he made a mistake in isolating himself, wondering if Joker was right all along, wondering if and how things might have gone wrong.

But Akechi can't let himself doubt for long. He always comes back to that certainty that he can't be anyone but himself. He can't let anyone change him. He can't let go of who he is, not for anything. The song is full of him reassuring himself of his path--that no matter what, he will not regret. He can't afford it. He will not waver from his path.

Now, more than ever, after being faced with the consequences of his mistakes and being offered an out, Akechi has to assert his free will and defy Maruki. And that's what this song expresses.

[marissapaul]

1/6 day 12: Pop Culture & Spiritual Feminism

our last day! it's only fitting that we end with an anzaluda reading. i enjoyed the discussion of fear in the interview we read today. specifically, the way that fear has been drilled into people growing up today. fear that if we don't or can't work that we won't be able to live anymore, fear that modern medicine has become inaccessible, fear that there is nothing we can do to escape capitalism. yet, as always, we are given actionable feedback. for it is possible to overcome that fear, it is possible to subvert capitalism, maybe not in its entirety, but in important and meaningful ways. from our readings earlier this semester talking about the economic shift to capitalism and the idea that capitalism necessitated a managerial class that was going to be willing to exploit others around them. i grew up with parents who were willing to do just that. and they spent my teenage years training me to do the same to those around me. but as i have wound my way through college and academia i have been able to find the root of those fears that my parents had instilled in me about not making enough money, not being in a lucrative enough career, etc. and now that i understand the economic system i live in, i know what place i want to occupy within or rather, outside of it.

i know that macklemore has an iffy reputation for it was certainly unfair and racially-motivated that he won the grammy over kendrick lamar, but i generally feel that macklemore has been aware of his privilege throughout his career, even if he continues to benefit from being white in a historically black profession. this song is all about unpacking his role as a white rapper and what it means to be privileged. there is one line in particular that goes "but the one thing the american dream fails to mention is i was many steps ahead to begin with" that quote has stuck with me even as i have grown past his liberal politics into leftism and liberationist politics. because that line is true of me as well. i may not have my mom's money anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that i did grow up with it, i went to a nice school, i have a jeep wrangler which is a vehicle that is commonly recognized as a marker of middle/upper-middle class status, and even though i am living paycheck to paycheck now, i have a college education and in four months i will have a masters degree. i may be queer and autistic but above all of that i am white and i grew up rich and that has set me many steps ahead. as i have become aware of my place in the world and how it actually functions and the ways in which the neat and orderly life of the suburbs is only predicated upon the suffering of others, this lyric stays in my mind to both ward away fear, and to remind me that even in my current situation where i am living off of a TA stipend, i have been given so many resources that have put me far ahead of those who weren't able to access those same resources and education that i have been gifted with. i refuse to be a part of that managerial class that abuses the people around me when i will always be far closer to poverty than i will be to the mounds of wealth that capitalism seeks to hoard for like fifty people out of a billion. i refuse to lead with anything other than love and empathy. and for that i have lost the financial support of my parents, but i am no longer afraid of not making enough money to live as they lived. for i do not want to live anywhere near the life they live. the world i envision is a fundamentally and drastically different one from the false comfort they enjoy.

the anzaluda interview also offered some solid closing insights on herbal medicines, this quote from page 224 in particular stood out to me, "if you take medicine for example, the man is always putting down herbal remedies because they're too available to everybody. because if you find out you can heal yourself on your own, without him, he's out of the job" that is such a powerful quote. and it wasn't until this class that i could appreciate the fullness of it. i grew up in and around the medical field (my first two years in college i was doing pre-med to be a pediatrician, and i grew up in and worked in a pediatric practice in houston, which is a city that is lauded for its medical facilities) and while i have found myself unpacking the white supremacist structures i grew up with over these past few years, this was one aspect of my childhood that i had yet to reckon with. so i am really thankful that we have repeatedly taken a look at alternative forms of healing including herbal remedies. i grew up hearing so much about the marvels of modern medicine, as if the people we have been studying haven't been healing each other for hundreds and thousands of years. of course, advancements have been made, but they remain inaccessible to the working class and so what advancements have really been made? healing through white institutions has only grown more and more inaccessible. even just having a baby in a hospital has become a truly tremendous expenditure. so of course people are turning to alternative medicines. medicines that the highly processed medicines we buy at the grocery store are based on, which is all predicated on stealing from indigenous healing knowledge. i am always trying to deconstruct what i grew up with, and i have the large swaths filled in, i am just now on a journey to deconstruct all the little pieces that may not show up in my daily life. i am thankful that this is a piece of that journey that we were able to look at in depth this semester.

there were two quotes from the forewords we read that stood out to me. the first is "I have heard from people that the book has helped change some minds (and hopefully hearts as well), but it has changed no one more than the women who contributed to its existence. It has changed my life so fundamentally…” and this is really how i feel about my thesis. all around me and throughout the past two years i have heard again and again that everybody hates their thesis, and that this is just a stepping stone to the "good" scholarship that you might create ten, fifteen years in the future. but i refuse to think that way about my thesis. i love my thesis. and while i hope that it might be useful to me, it has been useful me and to those that have worked on it with me and for that i am thankful. it has helped me and my friends work through our gender and sexuality and the ways we think about building community, it has introduced one of my advisors, dr. johnson, to transness in a depth that he hasn't studied before, i hope that dr. skidmore has been able to learn from me in the process of mentoring me, i know that she is proud of me and happy that i am here and so at the very least i have that aspect. there are so many people who have contributed to the creation of my thesis, all of whom have been changed by it and for that i am thankful no matter what happens and no matter how many or few people read it or draw strength from it. i, and those around me have benefitted from it and for that i love my thesis and look upon it with kind eyes and a kind heart.

the second quote is, "And yet to act is not enough. Many of us are learning to sit perfectly still, to sense the presence of the Soul and commune with Her. We are beginning to realize that we are not wholly at the mercy of circumstance, nor are our lives completely out of our hands." i think this is a really powerful statement for academics. we get so good at dissecting things and understanding why things shake out the way they do and the historical context of it and etc. etc. but we have to learn to be still. who knows if i will make a field-changing intervention, what i do know is that i am now able to sit still. i am able to commune with my soul and understand her without trying to logic and rationalize her thoughts. i may not make a lot of money, but i am far happier than my mom has ever allowed herself to be. for i grew up in the same economic system, but i have learned to sit still and from sitting still i have gained an optimism that i might live differently and outside of the constraints of capitalism and white supremacists structures. i will certainly always be less financially well-off than her. but i have my soul when she sold hers long ago so she might enjoy the luxuries of hoarded capital. if there is one thing that i have learned from history it is that history has not been a linear march towards liberation and progressivism. things ebb and flow, but people like me have always lived and loved and it is from them that i draw strength to live queerly. i live in a state that actively targets trans folks, yet i am not entirely a victim of circumstance. i have agency. i can live with love, kindness, and empathy and that is perhaps the most radical thing i might do in this life.

i hope that one day my mother can learn to sit still.

[btsandvmin]

Do you think any of the bts members are part of the lgbtq+ community? I assume you think vmin are, what makes you think that? I kinda feel like jimin could be bi... while tae gay maybe? And Yoongi could be bi as well. Tbh they all kinda give off gay vibes, but I guess it's bc of the cultural difference and bc they are all so close... so they may do things that seem a lot to many people but not to them... so who knows? A lot could be fan service too. But Namjoon and Jin are the ones who definitely give me straight vibes (Jin a bit less tho). What do you think?

I think there might be members that are LGBT+, but of course that’s just based on how I percieve things. I apologize in advance for this answer being a bit messy... As you say there are many things that make such speculation difficult.

Honestly putting definite labels on someone is not something I really want to or think we can do... Sometimes the members do things that might indicate interest in various genders, but that’s still too vague to define a sexuality for me. Unless they say something themselves, I don’t think we can know. 

I mean, even assuming someone you know is LGBT+ is gay, pan, bi etc. with a specific label without them having told you is so common and can even lead to mislabeling someone. One obvious example is how bi-erasure makes someone go from straight to being gay when they start dating someone of the same gender etc. There are so many types of sexualites and gender expressions to begin with. Some don’t even accociate with a label at all. For example I personally think Namjoon seems to be attracted to women, but even if that is a correct guess it doesn’t have to mean he is straight. 

It’s very complicated, at least for me, to dive too deep into it with anything except “hunches or guesses” based on behavior and actions. This becomes even more complicated when we add difference in culture, idol fanservice, personal comfortableness with intimacy, level or homophobia or supportive people around them and personal experience etc. 

BTS likely can’t even be honest with their sexualities if they are LGBT+ and that makes it even more difficult to know depending on if they even want to show that part of themselves or not. Internalized homobhobia can be very strong, even though I suspect BTS being more and more open towards LGBT+ might help if members are non straight. And we still don’t know anything about how their families or friends would react etc. Not to mention we know a lot of fans would hate them and leave them if they ever proved to definitely be non straight. So them hiding being LGBT is obviously going to make it more difficult to guess if any member might be LGBT+, if they on purpse try to not show it. For example saying some things are not for men to do, or being careful with how they come across. Something I personally think Jimin for example might have done more in the past, as he is aware how he can fit into a lot of stereotypes for what is “gay” or feminine. The same goes for Hobi who can be very flamboyant. And while these things can be an indication for sexuality or gender identity they don’t have to be. Especially not when idols even get encouraged at times to act or more “delicate or feminine” or do fanservice with the same sex etc. There are a lot of blurred lines, and those lines can be a bit fluid as well...

There are also soooo many colors of the rainbow that I don’t think it’s weird for a lot of idols to be part of the community in some ways, even if they might never openly be so. Some might also be allies, some might be curious or unsure about themselves and some might be in straight up denial as well.

So, I rather just guess if they might be LGBT+ than what exact label, because going in to detail is so personal and different from person to person.

I also want to say again, that “straight until proven otherwise” honestly needs to go away, and assuming someone is straight is a toxic way to assume sexuality. Not to mention it’s much more harmful to shut down conversations about them possibly being LGBT+ than mistaking a straight person for possibly LGBT+. A LGBT+ person might have no choice to hide (very likely in the case of idols), so showing we are open and supportive no matter what is what matters the most.

That being said I feel it’s very very likely at least some members are LGBTQ+ if not for anything else than comments like “when we don’t have boyfriends or girlfriends” from Namjoon and other moments like it, in combination with their support for the community. At the very least they are allies.

Personally the way some members involve themselves in LGBT+ culture in various ways I see as something to more likely happen when you are part of the community yourself and not just an ally. But BTS having the influence they have of course it could all also be meant to be inclusive and show support as they have for various causes. That’s why it all still remains uncertain.

I will make a more articulate section on Taehyung and Jimin’s possibly being LGBT+ in my bigger analysis. But I will try to summarize a little bit of my thoughts in this answer and hope that it all makes sense.

Big Hit in general and in particular Bang PD seem to be pretty open and LGBT+ friendly. Many concepts of Big Hit artists can have LGBT+ subtext. It’s not always explicit, but something many rainbow ARMY might pick up on, like the storyline between JK and Yoongi in the BU. For example reading Demian which the whole BST era is based on I personally see a lot of LGBT+ subtext in that book (which is then also fitting with other things we know about Hermann Hesse’s life). But a lot of people won’t pick up on it and we can’t know for sure because no one ever explicitly says it is meant to be LGBT+.

Many BTS members support LGBT+ artists, it doesn’t have to be because of them being LGBT+ but it wouldn’t be odd for them to search for representation and artists to relate to if they are LGBT+ themselves. Mostly we have seen Tae, Namjoon and JK being more “loud” witht their support for LGBT+ artists, songs, movies, books etc.

Namjoon, Tae and JK have all expressed support in various ways directly to LGBT+ fans that have showed up to fansites.

Members like Yoongi has straight up said it’s nothing wrong, everyone is equal, when Namjoon was a bit more “diplomatical” and tried to swerve the question a bit. Both could still be LGBT+, and both could be allies, even with very different reactions.

I think all members have their moments to show LGBT+ support, and all members have “questionable moments” that makes people speculate about their sexualities. For me Tae, Namjoon, Yoongi and JK seem to be the most open about support or showing interesting in LGBT+ things. But that can also have to do with their personalities, or even feeling less scared to show support.  In some cases it might even be easier for an ally to speak up for someone LGBT+ when they can’t themselves, as in a closeting situation.

I know you asked about all members, but I want to be honest and say that while I do know a bit about all of them, I do know a lot more about some members than others. I am also kind of sitting here and aren’t sure I can say more than I think all of BTS are allies, and that it seems likely at least some members are LGBT+. I have seen small things from basically all members, but I haven’t seen enough to lean heavily towards any particular sexuality. So, while I am sharing my thoughts here they can sway back an forth a lot and can very much just be based on misinterpretation. It can also be difficult to put a definite reason to why I react more to some members doing similar things.

Based on actions alone, because I try not to bring in vibes, I guess the short summary would be:

Jin - Has talked the most about wanting a girlfriend, and while he has said things like his celeberity crush is Brad Pitt I haven’t seen a lot with him in regards to LGBT+. To me less likely to be LGBT+.

Yoongi - Has been very firm with being supportive of LGBT+ and has had both lyrics and interviews that could be interpreted as gender not being important to him in general. Doesn’t show a lot, but the things he does say seem very pointed and deliberate. To me more likely to be LGBT+.

Namjoon - Has been the loudest since the earliest with his support for LGBT+. Wrote LGBT+ lyrics for Glam but also very sexual lyrics about women in early songs. Has talked about queer culture a lot and while he seems careful at times has expressed a lot of open support. Enjoys a lot of queer culture and has recomended movies, songs and books. Has showed more personal interest towards women, but seem very interested in LGBT+. Definitely an ally, likely into women, but also very possibly into other genders. To me more somewhere “in the middle” or more likely LGBT+.

Hobi - Has done subtle things like wearing rainbow belts during pride, but seemed to start being more LGBT+ supportive when all of BTS did so. Could possibly be non straight or also just very comfortable with himself and an ally. (He has “effiminate or flamboyant” behavior but I don’t want to lean too much into that.) Buuuut he also accidentally said stuff like “boyfriend”. To me “somewhere in the middle”, or more likely to be LGBT+.

JK - Seem to avoid questions about women/crushes and sometimes even answering with men (Like Namjoon or Ironman). Is the most “feminine” according to members (though that was a while ago) and is very open to expressing things in a gender neutral way. The member who has said the least in regards to masculine stereotypes like “men should” and also one of the members who is the loudest about LGBT+ artists. Also having done covers by LGBT+ artists without changing pronouns. To me more likely to be LGBT+.

I am fully aware I just basically said I think almost all members are likely to be LGBT+. But I really try to just look at them as individuals. It’s also as I said much more difficult for me to be able to truly know their thoughts in regards to LGBT+ based on such limited information as the subject in itself is partly taboo. It’s also possible with such a close knit group that if some members are LGBT+ that will affect and make other members more open as well. Basically the way BTS express support doesn’t have to be personal for all of them.

However, despite it all I think Taehyung is the member who seems to be the “most loud” in a personal way when it comes to LGBT+ (and also Yoongi). For me it makes sense with their personalities and how they are outspoken in general for something they believe in. @romanticdrift​ recently answered an ask (HERE) with a lot of good points, and in particular when it comes to Taehyung’s possible sexuality. This is why I feel Jin who also is quite outspoken in general but haven’t talked a lot (at least not to my knowledge) about LGBT+ things feel more like an ally in comparison. 

For me there are many things about Taehyung over the years I can’t help but think of when it comes to LGBT+ and have given me reason to wonder about Taehyung himself being part of the community. Especially when putting them all together it seems to be something important to him.

Talking about many things and people from queer culture. Not just enjoying them but sharing it with fans.

Singing songs like Stigma about being a sinner for something you can’t help or change. Many of Taehyung’s songs many LGBT+ fans relate to.

The reference to the gay movie “Moonlight” in a self written song, and most of Tae’s songs being gender neutrual. (All except Winter Bear).

The meaning of the color purple as the last color of the rainbow.

Saying “thank you” to fans with a pride flag at a concert.

Since early on having no problem with crossdressing or other things that might “look gay” (there are also moments where he has objected like “men don’t do...” as most BTS members have). But we also have things like randomly doing roleplay where he can’t be together with Jimin. I mention this because it wasn’t for a camera, but something Jin told us.

Talking about the reason for his Christmas song not being with Jimin. The fact that he highlighted the reason as the lyrics not fitting two men and going on to say he doesn’t think he will ever release it. To me this is probably the most personal example where Tae seems bothered about something homophobic.

Basically there is something in the way Taehyung expresses his support that just seem more personal, and more tied to himself. He isn’t just loud with support ike some other members, he expresses things like he relates to it more openly.

For Jimin I think he is more difficult with actual examples of openly supporting or expressing things LGBT+. And it’s difficult looking at him without going into gender norms and falling into sterotype traps as well. I do think Jimin has changed a lot and as many other members wear a lot more gender neutrual clothes etc. If I make this about Vmin I would even say Jimin’s image properly seemed to become a bit more “soft” around the time Taehyung gave him the Gucci sweater, which was gender neutral. Think more Jimin in sweater paws and soft oversized clothes. 

It could also be an image change as Spring Day era definitely brought a lot of softer Jimin. However, I want to emphasis here that Jimin still to this day has a lot of styles and outfits that are also very masculine. And that many other members also wear gender neutral clothes. Not to mention that clothes can express things without being tied to sexuality or gender of the person who wears them.

For me I think it can be even more ambigious with clothes only because often we don’t know if they decided the clothes or if it was a choice by a stylist etc. And we know most members have worn gender neutral clothes or womens clothes, especially for performances or photoshoots. So personal clothes I see as of more importance. For example Yoongi wearing very limited edition Pro-LGBTQ+ shoes as his personal clothes (HERE).

Back to Jimin... I personally see Jimin as a very aware and careful person when it comes to how he is percieved in general. Thus if he is LGBT+ I think he unlike Taehyung would likely be more careful. So, Jimin showing less directly LGBT+ support might be a choice out of acting careful. No matter if he is LGBT+ himself or not. But it does make things more vague. But he also painted the symbol of bigender on himself, so.

The things I have noted except for his image over the years are fewer than with many other members, and I try to not to put too much weight on his looks and manners and “vibes”, even if those things can be because of him being LGBT+.

Jimin has sometimes acted a bit defensive about his sexuality/masculinity, but he has never denied the possibility of him liking men despite getting asked.

Jimin is a member who has perhaps the most (together with Tae and Hobi) showed a liking for fanservice between members. (Doesn’t have to show his sexuality, but could also be a place where he gets to express something he usually can’t).

Lie is a song about not showing your true self and hurting/being punished. Jimin has been very vague when speaking of the meaning of the song. It’s a song many LGBT+ fans also relate to.

Jimin is a naturally flirty person, and the flirting doesn’t seem to be limited to one gender. But, it doesn’t have to be flirting based on attraction.

The bigender symbol in the hero photoshoot and the Filter performance playing with gender identity.

In general, there is just a lot less direct things when it comes to Jimin and LGBT+. Which doesn’t surprise me considering his personality. There are moments of course, like liking LGBT+ artists like Kehlani or reacting to pride flags at concerts. But at least to me there is a lot less to actually analyze when it comes to Jimin and LGBT+ moments and that makes things more difficult. So, to me Jimin is probably someone I am more unsure of, which might be surprising to some of you, especially considering this is a Vmin blog. But because of Jimin’s personality and early reactions/behavior I also am not at all surprised if he is more careful on purpose, especially if he is LGBT+.

Interesting to me as a Vmin shipper is also that quite a few of Taehyung’s LGBT+ things could possibly be related to Jimin. For example the line from “Moonlight” in 4 o’clock or Tae asking if Jimin can “be the girlfriend” while roleplaying. Not to mention the Christmas song of course. But I don’t want to use things from Taehyung to try and guess about Jimin. Basically looking at only them as individuals Jimin is less likely to be LGBT+ than Tae, but I do still think the chance of both of them being queer is there.

And if I then dive into Vmin's behavior with each other assuming they are both queer, that might show some interesting things too. But that will always be based on the IF, not as proof for their sexualites.

So, that was my view... I have been asked about this quite a few times, and I hope this post made sense. I know it was long and messy, but that’s also because sexuality can be such a difficult topic.

Thanks for the ask. If you enjoyed this and want to support me you can like, reblogg, comment or check out my Ko-Fi page: https://ko-fi.com/K3K43433H

[chaotically-cas]

The Wall by Pink Floyd x Ponyboy Curtis Essay (part 1 of 2)

Umm first off I would like to say I know how dumb all of this sounds & I know this is far from intelligent or anything close to a thought I can articulate, so before I get hate for this, I know it’s dumb. So hush.

Anyways. 

Tw // talk of death, suicidal ideations/thoughts, trauma, (events from the book)

Like 2.1k words

Also I didn’t fully proof read this

- - -

One of my favorite albums of all time is The Wall by Pink Floyd. It is a two part album that tells the fictional story of a rock star named Pink, and his life and struggles. As it is my favorite album I couldn’t help myself but draw some very strong connections between the story of Pink, and Ponyboy. Pink and Pony both spent their lives building a metaphorical wall around them to help deal with the traumas of life. And I wanted to write this oddly formatted essay in connection with Pony and an analysis of most of the songs.

In The Flesh?: starts off right in the middle, the song is about someone mocking asking questions similar to ‘is this what you expected me to become’? I think this is about the time in Pony’s life when he is writing for his English class. In the song it says, “Tell me, is something eluding you, sunshine? Is this not what you expected to see?”. I think this is similar to Pony thinking about Johnny and symbolizing of how he is thinking to himself on how did this all happen to him and so quickly. Maybe even without his full knowledge. So I think the question the lyrics pose are just as much a genuine question to himself as a rhetorical one. Another lyric I think can show Pony’s reflection not only on the events of the past week but also him reflecting into himself is “If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes. You'll just have to claw your way through this disguise.” This shows how Pony feels himself aging and being changed but also wanting others to see himself for more than what’s in the newspaper. Pony talks a lot about only being seen as a greaser or a hood and maybe if people were to ‘claw through’ that disguise they could see what Cherry and Johnny saw.

The Thin Ice: this song is a flashback to the version of Pony before the events of that Sunday. Where he was not exactly innocent but wasn’t aged like he was after. The beginning of the song talks about a mother and fathers love for their child which is slowly being seen as less of a reality. This is the death of Pony’s parents. “Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice. Appears under your feet. You slip out of your depth and out of your mind.”, this can explain how Pony felt ripped to shreds and like the ice of his innocence has been broken from underneath him. The ice both represents his parents love and life, as well as his life before knowing death the way he does now.

Another Brick In The Wall (part1): I think this one is the most obvious. The first brick being placed in the wall. The wall being a metaphor of how Pony begins to mentally distance himself from others by building a metaphorical wall around himself, and him using different events in his life as ‘bricks’ to build it. The first ‘brick’ and event being the death of his parents, especially in a very traumatic way. “Daddy's flown across the ocean. Leaving just a memory” is quite literally about the death of a parent, making the connection to Pony’s situation go without being said. Additionally, I think the line “Daddy, what else did you leave for me?” can show Pony’s confusion with his life and him beginning to question who he is and what his place in it all is.

Another Brick In The Wall (part 2): something notable and worth mentioning in this part two of ABITW is how it says “youre” another brick in the wall. Instead of “its”. So we already know it is referring to a person, which in Pony’s case is Bob. It’s a bit of a jump from his parents dying but the death of Bob is what truly kick started the whole events of Pony’s story and the book. I think it is also worth mentioning that Johnny could also be the new brick in Pony’s wall. Seeing a kid like Johnny, only a few years older than him but being aged dramatically by his trauma, relating with Pony too now. So it is totally possible that Pony finding himself relating to the trauma and actions of Johnny, being another brick in the wall he is building around himself. Especially in the line “We don't need no education”, as it shows how Pony is starting to feel himself unwittingly starting to fit into the whole ‘greaser’ stereotype that has been placed on him.

Mother: Now this song is definitely in symbolism to his relationship with Darry. I think it is shown through many lines but especially in the overall meaning of the song. The song is about an overprotective mother figure that tries to dominate the life of the singer. Which is very similar to the way Darry begins to treat Pony after the death of their parents. The song starts off with the singer asking their mother all these questions and advice, which I think would be very similar to the dynamic of Pony and Darry shortly after the funeral. With Pony being lost in life and asking Darry for help. But as the song goes on the singer sees how toxic and overpowering the relationship has come in dominating his life. But before that point of view can be fully expressed, the mother takes over and is telling the son about how to feel once again. I think this is exactly how the dynamic between the Curtis brothers has shifted around the day of Bob’s death. Especially with Darry finally pushing Pony, and that being the last straw of Pony realizing the control he no longer wants Darry to have. Most importantly with the lines about the mother pushing her fears onto her child, which seems to be exactly what Darry is doing to Pony. Because Darry sees the same potential in Pony that he had. There are too many lines for me to analyze but I think the most important one has to be the very last line, “Mother, did it need to be so high?”. This is where Pony would be asking Darry why he needed to be and act the way he did, especially to him, and truly beginning the deeper questioning of everything.

Goodbye Blue Sky: this song starts out by a reflection of childhood innocence by the line “Look mummy, there's an aeroplane up in the sky”. This to me is when Pony is running away with Johnny, before going to the park. When his head is too cloudy and juvenile perhaps to think rationally. But then the song fades into questions about ‘frightened ones’ and ‘falling bombs’ which is Pony telling Johnny about how Darry had hit him and in a way he felt like this whole life had been starting to fall apart. The song even states a specific line about running for shelter, which is exactly what Pony does to Johnny. Another obvious connection is the ‘goodbye’ aspect of it. Where Pony and Johnny are running away, in a literal goodbye from Tulsa and their problems. “Goodbye blue sky” can be seen as them saying goodbye to the blue skies of life before the skies turned grey, in a metaphorical sense.

Empty Spaces: this song is by far one of the shortest from the album but I still think the connections are intense. A very powerful start off with “What shall we use. To fill the empty spaces. Where we used to talk?” which I think can be connected to the silence between Johnny and Pony right after Johnny kills Bob. Because Johnny and Pony used to have the best and most honest conversations, but not in this moment there is nothing but empty and painful silence between them as they realize what has just happened. And then the next line is more of Pony’s internal dialogue in my opinion, “How shall I fill. The final places? How should I complete the wall?”. I see it as him asking himself if this was the final event he needed to completely run away and distance himself from this life. From the pressure of ‘greaser life’ to the challenges at home and in his own head. He is asking himself if he wants this to be the final ‘brick’ in the wall of his life.

Young Lust: Now this song is when it is really starting to be expressed that Pony has almost completely lost himself from who he was just hours ago. “I am just a new boy. Stranger in this town. Where are all the good times? Who's gonna show this stranger around?”, is very indicative of Pony feeling completely lost and besides himself. Like a stranger in his own head, and one who feels in bad need of assistance because of how lost he feels. Especially without the guidance and overwhelming protection of Darry. In a sort of broken way of beginning to feel free.

One Of My Turns: In this song is can be connected to the conversation Cherry and Pony were having earlier, which Cherry eluded to the idea of the separate groups of Socs and Greasers not being so fundamentally different. In the line, “Day after day, love turns grey. Like the skin of a dying man” it can be seen as talking about Bob’s death. While it is quite literally referencing the skin of a dying man, I think it could also be metaphoric of how Bob’s death was like the beginning of a bigger thing. In a sort of, death brings even more tragedy than one body, sort of ideal. Also, “And night after night, we pretend it's all right. But I have grown older. And you have grown colder. And nothing is very much fun anymore” I think this is about Pony and Johnny. Pony feels like he has aged tremendously in one night, and seeing Johnny grow into a completely different and more ‘cold’ version of his best friend. The song goes on to discuss the singers feelings of numbness, regret, and horror in a series of metaphors and questions. Maybe in reference to possible suicidal ideations, much like the thoughts Johnny expressed earlier in the day.

Don’t Leave Me Now: I think don’t leave me now isnt as important of a song to the story line the rest but still worth mentioning because I see it as a conversation between Pony and himself. He is asking himself to not run away and telling himself that it doesn't have to be the end of the road, when deep down he knows that just isn’t true. He is conflicted about running away and staying to face life, even though he knows the decision he already made.

Another Brick In The Wall (part 3): And Pony finally deciding to run away with Johnny, with help from Dally, is the last brick in his wall. “I don't need no arms around me. And I don't need no drugs to calm me.”, can show the true numbness of the situation and how Pony has already adjusted in a way to how different he knew his life was gonna be after this final event and decision. But in a way he is also unsure if exactly what was going to happen now. I think this is best shown through the use of ‘think’ in the line “Don't think I need anything at all”. It shows that while Pony is trying to figure out where to go from here, he still has a bit of that child like innocence in him where he isn’t completely sure of what needs to happen next, but he knows it won’t work out in his favor. Because he knows that back in Tulsa people are bound to figure out it was him and Johnny behind it all, which would make them “all just bricks in the wall”, to Ponyboy.

Goodbye Cruel World: there isn’t no extravagant connection to be made or discussed in detail about this song, as it is just even more of Pony saying goodbye to life as jr knew it and the innocent child like version of himself. “Goodbye all you people. There's nothing you can say. To make me change. My mind” is exactly what I think Pony would have going through his head as he fell asleep on the train, especially in thoughts about Soda and how he couldn’t even stay for him, because that meant changing the entire outcome of the night. And in his mind nothing could change the fact that he and Johnny needed to go.

[zodiyack]

Born To Die

Requested by anon: Can you do a imagine with Tommy Shelby? A song fic maybe Lana Del Rey's Born To Die but fluffy and angsty?

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, *in Italian voice* mention of mafia stuff, mention of death, death not Reader’s or Tommy’s, fluff

Song: Born To Die by Lana Del Rey

Note: I can’t remember if they say how their mother died, I’m guessing it was when she gave birth to Finn, I dunno, I’m assuming so because...yeah idk. I hope you like it!

Edit: OH SHIT I JUST REALIZED I REMEMBER WHEN HER DEATH IS MENTIONED- I'M BIG DUMB LMAO

Lyrics = Bold + Italic | Memories = Italic | Thoughts = Apostrophe + Italic + Apostrophe

Taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @stydia-4-ever, @matth1w, @redspaceace, @simonsbluee, @jenepleurepasbaby, @peakysputain​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Feet don't fail me now, take me to your finish line. Oh my heart it breaks every step that I take, but I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine.

Walking through the city streets, is it by mistake or design? I feel so alone on a Friday night, can you make me feel like home if I tell you you're mine?

Tommy sighed, watching the woman he loved walk angerly out the door of his office. He informed her of the Changretta’s vendetta and how she would need to leave him to live. He told her that he didn’t care whether or not she wanted to, that it was his decision because he was the one the Italians wanted to kill.

“I can fend for myself!”

“I don’t doubt that, love, but you need to leave.” He looked away, the quivering of her lip too much for him to handle. Tom almost cried, his eyes were watery and his heart was aching, he really didn’t want it to come to this. “Maybe being able to protect yourself will keep you alive if you ever need-”

“Whatever. I’m not leaving. I’ll just go home until you can change your mind or learn that I’m no coward. Perhaps when you do choose the right decision, you could come stay with me. Otherwise, enjoy your time here, Husband.” Venom dripped from the word, hitting him hard as he watched her spin around, grab her coat, and hurriedly stomp out the building. 

Y/n smiled slightly, only for a moment, responding to the sorry expression Lizzie gave her as she walked past. The smile soon dropped from her face, showing that it was only for Lizzie to see, that she too was sorry. The woman flinched as the doors slammed, rubbing the sides of her head with a deep sigh.

“Thomas. She’s right, ya know. I’ve seen that girl do some extraordinary shit. Think about it.” With that, Lizzie followed Y/n’s actions, quieter and calmer, but still leaving him to drink his sorrows away while he “thought” about everything.

He downed another shot. What had been? His hundredth shot? His desk was already a mess, his office no better, and his heart still bared the burden of knowing Y/n would either be hurt by him or hurt by the mafia. There was no loophole this time.

The girl he thought of made her way to her old home, drenched in the rain, and utterly tired. Mentally. Emotionally. Slightly Physically. She knew exactly what she was getting into; Shelby business usually always had guns involved. Pol often told her that Tommy really did love her, that he was just stubborn.

Y/n laughed mockingly. Thomas was stubborn, but stubborn could be broken with choices. So that’s what she gave Tommy. Two of the hardest choices she’d ever thrown at him. Y/n grew worried as she neared her home, the feeling in her stomach and heart. ‘What if he doesn’t follow?’

She halted in her steps, turning and looking around. He wasn’t there.

Her walking continued, this time feeling very, very, very, very, alone. Each time she passed a block, knowing she was nearing her house, she felt all hope leave her body. She felt strength, bravery, and faith deteriorate as her heart slowly tore in two.

The door to her house taunted her. It’s readiness to be opened, to have her brain laugh in self-mockery, to tease her about how stupid she was to believe Tommy would actually care.

Or maybe- he’d be behind the door. Raced her to her home to prove her wrong with a pleasant surprise. Her front door was full of tricks, and her heart was pounding with anticipation.

She opened the door, revealing the nothingness of her home. It’s interior dark and Tommy-less. Y/n didn’t know what to do. Her plan to hurt him just a little backfired into hurting her just a lot. The couch was her bed that night. She was alone.

Tommy failed her.

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry, sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why. Keep making me laugh, lets go get high, the road is long, we carry on; try to have fun in the meantime.

Come take a walk on the wild side, Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, You like your girls insane, So choose your last words, this is the last time, Cause you and I, we were born to die.

Ever since that weekend, she’d been avoiding Tommy. She only stopped by their mansion to see Charlie and the other Shelbys, but other than that, she stayed in her old house. The Y/n Tommy knew was clinging onto the edge, praying he’d change his mind.

Tommy was too damn stubborn for his own good.

“Thomas. You have to apologize-”

“No, Pol. I don’t have to apologize nor admit that she’s right. You know why? Eh? Because she’s not. I will not have the woman I love get murdered in front of my own eyes, or at all. If Y/n is to die, I’d rather it be old age or peacefully in her sleep than by the son of the man who tried to kill her at our own wedding.” 

He knew the mafia would make it harder to prevent deaths, which he’d learned from John, and Y/n would be shown no mercy by Luca, so he took his time, for once, to think about his options.

“See? She’s escaped death once, who’s to say she won’t laugh in his face again?” Polly scoffed at her nephew, walking out the door to visit Y/n like she’d been doing for the past few days.

Y/n needed company, and Polly was the perfect person for it. She made Y/n tea and helped her unwind, allowing her to know more of her past than her own family member did. Y/n ranted to Polly, about the things she missed and the things she didn’t. About the things that made her want to lash out and the things that made her want to cry with joy.

“How’s Tommy?” Y/n spoke through sniffles.

“Horrible, still a stubborn bastard. But lets not focus on his actions in the now. Instead, why don’t you think of the things you love...no, loved, about Tommy, more specifically, how he was before the paranoia caught up to him?”

“I mean, can you blame him? His brother was-”

Polly pursed her lips, hinting to Y/n that she was not in the best of moods to be discussing anything of John’s death. Y/n stopped, looking to Pol, waiting for her to continue. “Tell me, what did Tommy do to win you over?”

“He was... kind. And very caring.”

A small boy chased a smaller girl through the woods, their bare feet crunching the leaves under them, cold air nipping at their noses and uncovered parts of their skin.

“Tommy!”

The younger girl cried as she tripped over a branch in the path. Only nine, she was sure she’d fallen in love with the twelve year old boy. He’d been sure of the same thing as well.

“It’s okay, Y/n, I’ve got you!” He raced over, jumping skillfully over the wood and dropping to his knees. His hands reached for her leg, she hissed in pain and brought her leg back towards herself. “No, you have to let me see it if I’m to help.”

“Promise you won’t hurt it more?”

“I promise.” The boy smiled brightly up at the girl before inspecting her leg. When he discovered it was nothing major, he pressed a chaste kiss to her injury, then helped her up and onto his back.

“He knew just how to make me laugh..still does,” she chuckled quietly.

“Thomas! I can’t believe you did that!” The teen girl gasped at her admirer, his story being more amusing than he’d thought. It was a relief. “Polly must’ve been pissed!”

“She was. Told me to stop doing the impressions, that it was disrespectful. But John enjoys it, so Aunt Polly doesn’t have to know everything...” They stopped, Y/n put out her cigarette and pulled Tommy’s from his mouth, putting it out as well. “It’s um..raining.”

“I know.” Y/n smirked at the boy, biting her lip shyly before extending her hand, “May I have this dance?”

“Isn’t it the boy who asks the girl?” She rolled her eyes playfully, Thomas joining her in their laughter, “Fine fine, yes, you may. As long as I lead.”

“Can’t promise you anything, princess.”

Tommy gasped, feigning offence, “Oh you didn’t-”

“Oh but I did.” Her smile made his heartbeat rush, the blush on her face mirrored his, and the dinosaurs in their stomachs evolved into giants. Once butterflies, now giants, their teen crushes never hesitated to bring them closer.

They danced, Y/n’s dress sticking to her skin like Tommy’s dress-shirt. They’d came from the church, Tommy’s story about how he talked to John in the preacher’s voice, and their Sunday Bests were now soaked with the skies tears, which their melody came from.

“Y/n?” She nodded in response. “Lets run away. Together.” He dipped her, and then pulled her back up to see her reaction. A wild, even mischievous, smile rested on her lips before he leaned forward to join their grins in a rough kiss.

“Polly will kill us, you know?”

“Oh I don’t doubt that for a second.” He pulled away from her, twirling her with his hand and basking in her giggles, “So I suppose we should think of what our final words’ll be, huh?”

Lost but now I am found. I can see but once I was blind. I was so confused as a little child, Tried to take what I could get, Scared that I couldn't find; All the answers honey.

She winced, crying out in emotional pain as the priest slapped Tommy. Pol collected her nephew, but no one came for Y/n. She was going to give up, allow the church to take her wherever they planned, but the door opened again. Polly waited by it.

The older woman blinked in surprise as the teen wrapped her arms tightly around her waist. “T-thank you.”

“You’re very welcome dear. Now, come along, we mustn’t stall.”

Ever since that day, she’d been so bothered with the curiosity of what led Polly to help her. Even now, as an adult and married to a Shelby, she was confused. Polly was still helping her, even though she wasn’t on the best terms with Tommy.

“Why?” Pol looked up. “Why’d you help me that day? Did Tommy ask you too?”

Polly thought back, smiling and shaking her head. “No.”

“Then what made you help me?”

“Nothing, Y/n. I just... I just felt the need to help. Thomas had no say in the matter, as he believed your parents were coming. I believe I... I could see his love for you. The way he looked at you, the gleam in his eyes when someone brought you up, the pep in his step whenever he went where you were. Tom was happy, and that was important... especially when their mother passed.”

Y/n nodded, a single, yet still sad, tear rolling down her cheek.

“Tommy? what’s wrong?” The 18 year old boy crawled through her window, eyes red and puffy. He mumbled something of his mother dying after giving birth to the youngest, and the last, Shelby brother. 

She felt her eyes well up with tears, knowing his pain and feeling the need to hold him close to her. 

And she did. His head rested on her chest as they drifted into a peaceful slumber, waking up with tear-stained cheeks, tired eyes, and matching red hazes across their faces.

She fell asleep with him that night. And the next. And the next. And the next. He continued coming over, crying to her, sometimes with her. Despite them not confessing their feelings for one another yet, they knew full well how in love they both were, after all, they’d kissed before.

1908 was a wild year.

But it was also the year they finally vowed to be together. The sooner three more years had passed, the sooner she’d be with the man she loved. She smiled, stretching as much as she could with a sleeping Tommy on her. The sunlight danced across his sleeping face, allowing her to admire him and all his beauty.

The sleepy smile on his face too. It showed how happy he was.

That, or how much he enjoyed the feeling of her nails combing through his hair.

Either way, they were both happy.

“That’s why I helped.”

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry, Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why. Keep making me laugh, Lets go get high. The road is long, we carry on, Try to have fun in the meantime.

Come take a walk on the wild side, Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, you like your girls insane, Choose your last words, this is the last time, Cause you and I, we were born to die. We were born to die We were born to die.

Come and take a walk on the wild side, Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, You like your girls insane~

Luca blinked, blood in his eyes, as Y/n walked through the door and raised her gun. Thomas’ eyes widened; he was expecting Arthur, not his wife to push past him. And he certainly wasn’t expecting Arthur to just stand there, doing nothing to stop her. 

She smirked at the Italian before shooting him, the bullet passing through his head and hitting the barrel behind him. She didn’t so much as flinch as the gunshot rang throughout the building.

Changretta’s body hit the floor with a loud thud, splashing sounds following. Gin poured from the hole in it’s barrel, but no one cared. 

They were too focused on Tommy’s wife, who was tucking her gun away.

The woman looked at Tommy, a sigh of relief, possibly from the fact that he was still alive, escaped her mouth. She turned and left without saying anything.

He let out a shaky breath, speaking with pants every now and the,. “Tell your people in Chicago, that Michael Gray will sign the import licence to New York. 300 barrels of English dry gin a month.”

“Leave. All of ya. Tell your boss what you saw here today. Tell him...you don’t fuck with the Peaky Blinders.” Arthur stepped aside once the men had left. “And uh brother? I believe you have your own business to attend to?”

“What?”

Polly flicked Tommy’s ear with a shocked expression. It was not from Y/n killing Luca, though she did feel proud of the girl, but from Tommy’s stubborn dumbassery. “Quit being such a stubborn bastard and go after her, idiot!”

“Right-” He swallowed before nodding and rushing out of the building.

Don't make me sad, don't make me cry, Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough I don't know why. Keep making me laugh, Lets go get high, The road is long, we carry on, Try to have fun in the meantime.

Come take a walk on the wild side, Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain, You like your girls insane. Choose your last words, this is the last time, Cause you and I, we were born to die.

The slam of the door caused Y/n to stop and turn around. 

“What do you wa-” She started, only for her to be grabbed by the back of her neck and pulled into a kiss. Their lips fit together perfectly, dancing before separating for the horribly-timed human need of oxygen.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should’ve listened to you-” Y/n cut him off, pulling him down by the lapels of his jacket. The rain began to pour, dousing the couple in a familiar melody. She pulled away, grinning widely. “Oh.. it’s raining. Should we head back ins-”

“I know.” She extended her arm to her husband, her action and interruption catching him by surprise. “May I have this dance?”

[azarland]

ok possibly Super wild considering they don’t share a purpose & their ends are for hella different reasons but.     so i’ve been listening to the jesus christ superstar ost like, a Lot, these past few days, alw put smth in those songs i swear, which, ig is appropriate considering the holidays, but one of the songs i keep getting like, Oof about is gethsemane & just.     some of the lyrics kept making me think about azriel, but very specifically in the verse where azriel Doesn’t have the talk with riordan at eamon’s estate about the archdemon, so he encourages alistair to kill loghain which, because azriel refuses to have anything to do with morrigan’s dark ritual, means one of the wardens must die.     azriel was never going to let his sister die, & alistair’s become as another sibling to him, so he is the one who lands the final blow to the archdemon.     the lyrics in question are  :

“i only want to say   /   if there is a way   /   take this cup away from me   /   for i don’t want to taste its poison   /   feel it burn me   /   i have changed”   —   the way azriel never wanted power, he never wanted responsibility, he only entertained the thought of becoming a gray warden when it was on his terms, when it wasn’t the only choice, when it wasn’t his father’s dying promise.     the way he never would have drank from neither the joining’s cup nor the reaver ritual’s cup if he had any other choice, how drinking the darkspawn & dragon blood changed him in every single sense there is.     the way he never wanted to be one of the only people that could save his country, insisting that alistair was the gray warden among them, just wanting to find his brother & kill howe & go home.

“i’m not as sure, as when we started   /   then, i was inspired   /   now, i’m sad & tired   /   listen, surely i’ve exceeded expectations”   —   the way before the siege azriel was unflappable, he could aford a musing daydream about the glory of joining the great gray wardens, how even after the siege he had something to hold on to  :     his rage for rendon howe.     the way that rage was azriel’s fuel for so long, how when howe lay dead in his own dungeons azriel felt fulfilled but so, so empty.     he had long since accepted that howe was not his primary goal, but it had been the driving force behind his actions all this time, & now with the landsmeet he’s just so exhausted.     he wants to properly mourn his family now that the designer of their deaths has been killed but there’s still an archdemon to deal with.     he gathered the army ferelden needed, he got the queen back in charge proper, he killed howe, & now one of the wardens has to die to end the blight.     azriel immediately determines that he won’t let lorna or alistair die, but he doesn’t want to die either.

“alright, i’ll die!!   /   just watch me die!!   /   see how i die!!   /   then i was inspired   /   now, i’m sad & tired   /   after all, i’ve tried for three years, seems like ninety   /   why then am i scared to finish what i started   /   what you started, i didn’t start it”   —   he doesn’t want to die either, but when he sees riordan’s corpse, he knows he has no choice but to.     it’s too much for the universe to ask of him, to ask & give him no choice.     he’s scared of finishing the journey he began so seemingly long ago, no, the journey that duncan set him on, that bryce set him on, that howe set him on, that the maker set him on.

“kill me   /   take me, now!!   /   before i change my mind”   —   azriel walking a bit faster through fort drakon than the other places because he needs to get to the top, he needs to kill the archdemon before he loses his nerve, before he stutters & either his sister or alistair take his pause for a window of opportunity for martyrdom.     but azriel was always the one without a destination, the one without responsibility, the one who did as much as his late young nephew, his death wouldn’t be martyrdom, it would be a casualty.     there’s always casualties in war.     he’s convinced himself of that, now the maker need only take him before he can change his mind about that.

[doorbloggr]

Friday 28/5/21: Media Recommendations #4

Its Friday again, so that means I gotta nerd out about things I've had on my mind lately and recommend other people go enjoy them too.

Today's topics of interest will be:

Manga/Anime: Fullmetal Alchemist

Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise

Music: Kiss from a Rose; Seal

In past weeks, I have picked my recommendations based on shows/music etc that are not as mainstream as I think should be, hence I am recommending them with the intention of increasing the audience. But this week, I am sure these three pieces of media are very widely known already. And its not wrong to like popular things, they got popular for a reason. So this week I'm gonna gush about why I like these popular things.

Fullmetal Alchemist (Fullmetal Alchemist)

In the vaguely European-esque country of Amestris, those gifted by natural or acquired powers can reshape the world around them using the power of Alchemy. In this world, magic users, called Alchemists, are publicly known and acknowledged. The government even employs many State Alchemists, who receive funding for their specific alchemic research, in exchange for their cooperation during military conflicts.

Fullmetal Alchemist has one of the most well put together and interesting fantasy settings in all of fiction (in my opinion). It is both medieval fantasy but also late 1800s europe, and this helps create a world where magic has very strict metaphysical and political rules.

The story within this world focuses on the brothers Edward and Alphonse Elric, who become the youngest known State Alchemists as part of their quest to restore Edward's limbs and Alphonse's entire body which were lost to a tragic alchemic experiment gone wrong. Ed has classic napoleon complex, and detests anyone looking down on him, but he often has more than enough bite to back up his bark. Al is much more calm and collected, but despite his soul inhabiting an imposing suit of armour, he is the younger brother and often emotionally immature. The two have an interesting dynamic, where the older brother is small and snappy, but still feels responsible and protective over his towering, intimidating younger brother who speaks with a very child-like voice, but could easily knock you out.

FMA is not a very complicated story, but it has depth. Its rich world, with a variety of interesting and endearing characters, make for a very engaging time. It is a story of growth, trust, bonds, and rebuilding what was once lost, while maintaining what you are still working on.

There are 3 ways to experience this story. I have gone back and read the original Manga, and if you prefer Manga as your story form, it is a very fun read. There are two anime adaptations, one that was in production and finished before the manga was complete, and another that came a few years later. The former has a different ending to the latter, and I can only recommend the latter, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, seeing as I never watched the original series. But I have heard on good authority that both are worth the watch, so it is up to you. I can't really decide on a definitive favourite anime, but Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is easily always top 3.

Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise

Sometimes, the rich lore and story are what makes or breaks consumable media, but sometimes, all you need is pure stupid fun. Monster Hunter is a series built on a simple premise that does not need much fluffing to be enjoyed. You are a hunter: a very skilled and powerful warrior who weilds, often oversized, powerful weapons of many types, and it is your duty to go out and hunt monsters: powerful creatures who can co-exist with the world but on a case by case basis, put the people and wildlife around them in harm's way.

Monster Hunter Rise is the newest game in the series, and is on the Nintendo Switch. Many players I've talked to have said that this is the easiest game to get into, but that does not make MHR an simple, boring game, and top-level play is definitely a grind. The draw of Monster Hunter is that every "level" is a boss battle, and that battle takes place over a huge map. In this game, the hunter is tasked with finding the monster, and then using their own gear, plus the help of nature around them, to incapacitate the target monster.

This game has fourteen weapons to choose from, and using each is like playing a completely different action game. They can be grouped as Heavy, Light, and Technical Weapons, but the truth is, all weapons are unique, and depending on which specific model of a weapon you use, they can be even more unique within that weapon. Monster Hunter games are RPGs, but rather than gaining EXP, and stat changes indicating growth, Hunters use bits of the monsters they've hunted to make themselves stronger.

Both new weapons and armour require monster parts, and you're never guaranteed to get all the parts you need from one hunt. So the game encourages you fight the same monsters multiple times, learning patterns, honing your skills. When you have made your ideal weapons and armour, you have gotten significantly better at hunting those monsters. Monster Hunter Rise introduces Wire Bugs, a resource with a variety of uses ranged from spiderman-ing up and across mountains, to lending themselves as super moves for your weapons. Breath of the Wild held a place in my heart for ages because of how good it feels to traverse, but honestly, Monster Hunter Rise's wall-running and grapple-hooking blow BotW out of the water. Its just fun to move! If you enjoy action games and boss fights, Monster Hunter Rise is 100% a game you should check out.

Music: Kiss From a Rose; Seal

In my very deep Spotify library, there's a lot of music I will just sometimes skip. Not because I don't like it, but because I need to be in the right mood. But there's also a select handful of songs where I will never skip because I will always be in the mood to shout those lyrics, no matter when or where. Seal's Kiss from a Rose is one of those songs.

The song was originally part of the soundtrack for Batman Forever, but it is not a song explicitly about that movie. I didn't even know this myself until a while after I was obsessed with this song. Kiss from a Rose is an emotional, almost melancholy song with a very hard to place meaning. Seal has said it could've been about a difficult relationship, but I feel it is up to the listener how they interpret it.

The instrumentals are subtle yet powerful, soothing yet exhilarating. It is just a very engaging song and the lyrics are just hard to not sing along to. If you've heard it, you know. If you haven't, take a listen and meet your favourite song this week.

[neptunevasilias]

Like Morning Follows Night and Sun (and Blake's) character arcs

aka why Blake and Sun are my brotp

Like Morning Follows Night is one of my FAVORITE RWBY songs if not favorite songs in general. And I was just listening to it, and, well... I have some thoughts on it.

So I want to talk about the insights this song gives to Sun's character, and what this means for his relationship with Blake and his team, and how those two relationships can play off each other.

Now, at first I thought LMFN was just about Blake's inner turmoil, with Sun having all the right things to say. Which is fine! Side characters who give ~magical friendship wisdom~ is common in stories like RWBY, and even in RWBY itself. And the song still is about Sun supporting Blake. But with the context of the new books' information about Sun's personality(coming from someone who has only read ATF and the preview of BTD) there were some lines that had new meaning for me this time listening to the song:

"You don't have to spend your life looking backward/We've been through this over and over again/You can't just wish it away/The past is the past, it'll never change/That was before, this is now/And when we have a chance to make it better if we try"

"You're free to do the things you want, but listen, so am I"

"Life's not a game you can play to get even/We all make mistakes but we need to move on/I know that you hate where you strayed/Forgiving yourself is the only way/Just look ahead, yesterday is gone/I know you think you're being selfless but you're not"

These lines are all exactly what Blake needs to hear! But what do they say about Sun?

Here's the thing: Blake and Sun are complete opposites. Which is good, because they ended up playing off each other well. But what makes them opposites besides representing day and night? Oh boy, hypothetical reader, I'm glad you asked.

Blake is drowning in shame. Sun, on the other hand, seems to be missing his shame glands. Yes, this is about the stupid things he does and the trouble he gets himself into, but more importantly it's that he never considers the consequences for his actions, and doesn't consider them important in the first place because they mean nothing to him. He hopped onto the boat to follow Blake because he wanted to, without a second thought about his team. When his team is brought up(by Blake, no less) he dismisses her and says they'll be fine. But we can see very clearly in BTD, even just in the preview I was able to read, that they were NOT fine.

This isn't to say he doesn't love his friends. But the novels seem to be delving into the psyche of characters hailing from vacuo, and it seems that people from there are used to change. But each character's relationship with it is different. Take Fox for example. He seems to be used to change, and that's it. His home isn't where he lives, but his family(team CFVY). He finds other ways to ground himself. But Sun expects and even seeks change. And since things are always changing, consequences are less of a problem. This includes consequences that take a toll on other people(his team being abandoned) and himself(his team being unhappy with him). This combined with his very positive attitude leads to him just... doing anything he wants, without seeing any problem with it because he's enjoying himself. Let's look at some of those lyrics again:

"You don't have to spend your life looking backward"

"The past is the past, it'll never change"

"You're free to do the things you want, but listen, so am I"

"We all make mistakes but we need to move on"

"Forgiving yourself is the only way"

"Just look ahead, yesterday is gone"

If Blake is too hard on herself, Sun could stand to be harder on himself(I know I'm talking about his character flaws in this post but I love him I swear). Their adventure in Menagerie is about learning to be more like each other. She learns to forgive herself, and separate herself from her past.

But what does he learn from her? Well, it's in the chorus: "Go where you need to/Know I won't leave you/I'll follow like morning follows night." He finally resolved to stay somewhere, and that's with her. And while he was with her, she schooled him on what faunus oppression is like in kingdoms outside of Vacuo, teaching him empathy for many, many people. Compare that to how he dismissed the suggestion that his team could possibly be hurt by his leaving early in volume 4.

I could go on and on about the specifics of Sun's psyche and why he is the way he is, but I think you get the idea. So what does this all mean for him? Well, now he's in Vacuo, at Shade Academy with his teammates and team CFVY. This is the perfect time for development for him.

What does he need to learn and do? He needs to keep learning from Blake. He needs to learn to be considerate of others, to think his actions through. He took the first step when he helped Blake - yes, it was just because he thought she was going on an adventure and he wanted to change things up again by helping her - but he ended up helping her in more ways than that. And then, for once, he resolved to do something and stick with it. To stick with the person he was helping. Now he needs to do the same with his team.

His adventure with the Crown in Vacuo should be like putting everything he learned from Blake to the test, like how Blake put what she learned from him to the test when she fought Adam, who represented her past, with Yang, her present and future. For Sun, it's the opposite. He's back in Vacuo, with the team he left behind. He needs to make it clear that he's going to be more considerate towards them.

Again, I haven't read BTD yet, and any criticisms I've seen are all vague("it wasn't good", "he was ooc"(except people misunderstand Sun's character so much that complaint means nothing to me), etc.) so I don't really know if they did or didn't go through with everything I said above. But, if this were to be a well-written story(IMO), they'd have Sun keep applying his "lessons" from Blake, just as she did with his in the show.

These two characters, imo, were made to cross paths briefly, learn from each other, and go back to their own stories better equipped to deal with them than they were before. And I really like that! We can see this storyline is going well with Blake in the show, but I'm pretty in the dark on what's happening in the books with Sun and his team. I'll be getting the book soon, though, so no major spoilers until then!(unless I ask for it, which I probably will. I'm not good at waiting) I just really care about these two so I wanted to say my two cents on their interwoven character arcs, exemplified by LMFN.

[tar-oh]

Pick A Pile!

A little bit earlier, I posted that I was working on a pick a pile and posted a picture of some books to choose from. Here it is! I got it done quicker than I thought, but they ended up being kind of specific? I didn’t really ask a specific question, just asked what the people who chose the piles needed to know. So here are the piles:

Just choose whichever book appeals the most to you! (Ha, I know most people probably don’t read books about shipwrecks, but that’s what I was feeling today.)

I got a new deck a few days ago that are these fortune cards. I tried to incorporate those into it, and it made it interesting!

Pile 1: If you chose Lost & Found

Your pile had the least amount of things pop out, sorry! Though, I think you guys had the most songs play?

Cards:  Fixed Moon, a man, the garden, the key, mannaz, the hermit reversed, page of wands reversed, knight of pentacles, the magician

“I tend to focus on the past, and not the now.” - Curveballs by The Wombats

Group one, I didn't really except this to show up, but yours appears to be a love reading. Well. Sort of. First off, I don't really like doing love readings. Well, I mean, I don't HATE IT. In fact, I love love. Both my rising and sun signs are Libra and my venus is Libra, so like, I am the ultimate hopeless romantic. I just don't like doing them because I don't really want to give any false hope, especially since with readings, the energy can shift within a day, especially if it involves other people. So, I want you to take what I say, but not to get too excited.

First off, I'm getting that for some it may not be about love, and could just be about some work situation. For others it's about love. And yet still, with others, it's love inside a workplace. So, I have three things going on here. Whatever it is for you, it's stuck and has been for a little bit of time. Though, recently, or soon, you'll receive some kind of clarity about this situation.

If you're dealing with a job, I'm getting that there is a decision to be made and you're waiting to hear about it. There is someone you're waiting on, someone influential, possibly a boss. The decision will be made, but it will take a little bit of time still. My advice for the people in this situation is to just be patient and focus on what's going on in your daily life rather than the future, or what has and hasn't happened. Sorry I don't have any more to add for those in this situation. I don't really see any indication what you'll be finding out, though I do feel the need to tell you to make sure that this place knows what your capabilities are (especially if you're waiting to hear if you got a job).

For those dealing with a love situation (outside of the work), this is someone you probably met at some public place. Maybe a party, or even a park. I'm leaning more towards somewhere outside. For those of you that it's both work and love, I think you may have met someone at work (A boss maybe? or a co-worker who is maybe higher up than you?). For both situations, I'm getting that right now it's been a stagnant situation for a while. I think you possibly may not really know where you stand within this connection. You will be receiving clarity about this person, but I don't think it will be coming in soon. I pulled the Knight of Pentacles and that card is known for being the slowest of all the knights, so I do take this to mean the clarity you need, but slow clarity. However, it fell out with the Magician, which can talk about action, so I do see action. Just not tomorrow. So, my advice for you is the same as what I gave the people who have just a work situation (without love involved lol), is to just be patient and focus on you. Your daily life can serve as a good distraction. The lyric I pulled was from the song Curveballs by The Wombats, the line "I tend to focus on the past and not the now." You could be replaying all of your interactions with this person back in your head, maybe even thinking about what may come in the future, but what you need to be focusing on is the now. Your moonology card does suggest to be sure of your decision, so I think that you do need to know what you want and to hold on to it, but to also stay present and not get too daydreamy about the future.

Considering that the song I pulled came on while I was working on this pile, I think it's important for you. This song kind of hints at maybe there being more than one person involved in the narrators situation. I don't really want to suggest that maybe this person you're dealing is involved with someone (especially because pulling the man card with the key might suggest someone uncommitted), but I think this could be the case for some of you. I did pull two cards just to see how this person was feeling about you, and I got 6 of cups reversed and 3 of cups. The 3 of cups kind of adds to there being more than one person in this situation (though, it may not even be a person, it could be the job itself), but I think these are saying that this person feels that you're a breath of fresh air to them, someone like no one they've ever met before, as well as someone they feel like they could have a good time with. So, I do think that there is a mutual attraction here, I just think that currently this person is a little unsure themselves what they want, and that's why the Knight of Pentacles came up along with the hermit reversed. I don't like telling you what signs this could involve, since again, I kind of see energy as being fluid, but since your moon card was the Fixed Moon card, I see it could be a fixed sign, so Leo, Taurus, Scorpio or Aquarius. If they are a fixed sign, they're probably really stubborn so, like. Look out for that lol.

Overall, just try to stay patient. I know that's not always what you want to hear, but it's all you can do now (unless you want to make the first move and say something to get clarity). The best you can do right now is just focus on you.

The Songs:

Curveballs - The Wombats Second Life - Kitty Next In Line - Walk the Moon  Left Arm - Sleepy Freak  Overlap - Catfish and the Bottlemen  Remember That Night - Grouplove  I Am Easy To Find - The National  Busy Bees - Silversun Pickups

Pile 2: If you chose Fatal Depth

Cards:  New Moon in Aquarius, Supermoon, sun, child, anchor, death reversed, 2 of swords, 8 of cups thurisaz, algiz, sowulo

"I've tried my best, best to forget, but I can't, I can't I can't." - Be Your Shadow by The Wombats 

For pile two, I'm getting two different situations.

The first situation is more general, the next revolves around love.

Something about your life is changing, but you're feeling a little resistant. I think you're kind of stuck in this weird limbo phase, where you're still stuck in the past, but you also feel the pull of change. You may be a little uncertain how things will turn out, or you're even unsure of what decisions to make. So, in return, you've gone into yourself to think about it. The advice I can give you is that you should try to let go of the past, and be the one to bring forth the change in your life. When you do move forward, you will meet success. Seriously. Outside of you being resistant of change with death reversed and thurisaz, this is a really positive layout. You got 3 confirmations of success (sowulo, the sun card, and Supermoon). So, again, take action! If you are having trouble deciding, I do think you know what's best deep in your heart. If you're spiritual, I think I'd ask for a sign or something along those lines because two of your runes mean connecting with gods, and other parts of the spread seem to speak to that as well. So, listen to your intuition and take action!

The second situation is something to do with love. I think maybe someone is in a relationship and is at a crossroads. I think you can sense that this relationship is changing, and whether it's ending or evolving, I can't say, but something is shifting. I think you're in your head about what you need to do, stay or leave. I can't really tell you what to do, because I think you know it yourself deep down. I can say, like the situation above, I think you'll be happy with the outcome. Also, Cannonball by Grouplove came on, and honestly, this to me is a sign of a need for action. So, think about it, use your intuition, then act. Though, a lot of the songs that came on while I was doing this reading had a lot to do with figuring out whether or not it was worth staying in a situation, so I think some of you are really contemplating leaving. I really don't like telling people to leave something like a relationship, since it's not my business. I just tell you what the cards say. But, it's 11:33, so I'm kind of thinking SOMEONE reading this is thinking this. Look. If you're truly unhappy, then maybe you need to think about this. What are you getting out of it? New Moon in Aquarius asks you to think outside of the box and to detach a bit. I think it's kind of like the Two of swords where she's blindfolding herself. I think you need to try and see things from another perspective and that your answer of what you need to do will be within that. Everything about this spread says there is change coming, so I don't think you can avoid that (no matter how much you're resisting), but I do think that you have power with what is changing if you're able to act. Does that mean leave this altogether? Maybe! You'll know what's the right choice of action for you in your gut.

The Songs: Be Your Shadow - The Wombats (I really feel like only a small portion of this song goes with this, but idk, maybe you’ll find something) Lemonworld - The National (honestly, I don’t know if this really applies to this reading, but it came on and it felt like someone needed it) Spun - Household plastic door// - KennyHoopla Guilty Party - The National (yes, about 70% of my playlists are this band right now lol) Cannonball - grouplove

Pile 3: If you chose Mighty Fitz

You guys got  a lot of stuff since it all just kept falling out? Cards:  New moon, new moon in taurus, scythe, whip, rider, house, the hanged man, the well reversed, page of pentacles reversed, king of swords reversed gebo, wunjo, pertho ”Rylan, you should get some sun.” - Rylan by The National

First off, pile 3. Please go outside and take a walk. Please! And if it's late where you are, tomorrow, please make time to do so! Or, honestly, any exercise will do (but outside is best). A lot of your reading had additional meanings that called for exercise. Like A LOT, which is funny because I wrote those first two lines before I even realized what else I pulled since I'd pulled the song Rylan by The National for you guys. The line I pulled is saying they should get some sun, and I kind of glanced at some of the cards and was thinking, "I really feel like you SHOULD get some sun, Pile 3". So, that's what I'm going to say first. The next is that you're going through a change. I suggest maybe reading pile 2 once you're done with this, because I think it may apply to some of you. Not all, but to some. Also, maybe pile 1 as well. But that's if you felt called to them, but didn't choose them. They may have something in it for you, even if you weren't called to them. So, back to that change. I really seeing it more as a new start, since that's what New Moon suggests, and so do some of the runes. I do think it's going to be a sudden change, and for some, maybe painful. This change may come in the form of news. For some, it will be good news. For others, it won't seem like good news, but will end up being good in the long run. If it ends up seeming like bad news, then I think this may show up in the form of a person at your door. They may show up to argue. This person (or you) may have betrayed someone's trust, and wants to talk about it. If this happens, I urge you to be the bigger person and try not to be harsh. Don't let them walk over you, stand up for yourself, but do it with grace (as I said this, a song called Say Your Grace came on, so I know I'm definitely on the right track here). Like, this seems super specific, but I have a series of cards, along with the tarot, that just seems to me that someone wants to pick an argument with you. My advice, along with being graceful about it, is to maybe surrender. By that I mean, let it go. New Moon in Taurus says that envy and jealous attracts like energy, so I'm going to say that mean and angry energy attracts the like as well. So, I think you need to remember to stand your ground, but come from a place of love. I'm not really sure what this is really about, outside of maybe someone being immature or betraying someone's trust, but I do know that you need to be the bigger person. I think once you get past all of this, a new start will be coming. Outside of the series of cards that shows me this argument, everything else seems happy. Like you'll come through this okay. I had a song play (that I guess is 10 minutes long?!) that alluded to another song by the same band. The song it alluded to was Gentleman Caller by Cursive (which, damn, may very well be a "gentleman" caller, but one that goes sour, a meaning of the rider card and the whip can be that lmao). There's a part at the end of the song when he sings "the worst is over", and I really think that once you get past this argument, the worst will be over. It doesn't even need to be an argument. If you know who I'm talking about, then maybe you should just nip it in the bud and get it over with by having a civil conversation. I'm sorry I didn't have something better to say, and sorry it seems kind of specific, but hopefully this helps you out! Maybe the songs will be helpful! The Songs: Rylan - The National Dancing On My Own - grouplove’s cover Breathe Underwater - Big Scary Lonely Eyes - The Front Bottoms Staying Alive and Gentleman Caller by Cursive (warning, first ones like 10 minutes lol) Say Your Grace - F.E.A.T.S Don’t Give Up Your Ghost - Movements Let me know if any of these piles resonated!  

[loyolahcmass]

Homily on Together by For King & Country

Here is the preview of Fr. Rossi’s homily about the song Together by For King & Country:

for King and Country’s “Together”

 “And if we fall, we will fall together

And when we rise, we will rise together,”

 “for KING & COUNTRY” have always sung catchy songs with lyrics that point to the love of God.

 They’re very talented, so they combine their faith message with sweeping melodies and infectious choruses that replay in your mind over and over. 

 There is nothing clichéd or false in anything this group does.

 They’re Christian believers—big time.

__________

 “It’s important as believers that others around us see light reflected in our lives: in our words, actions, behaviors, and even our thoughts. 

 “That’s what the Bible is all about, encouraging us to “burn the ships” of our past mistakes that we often align ourselves with. 

 “Don’t conform to the patterns of this world,” Jesus says. “That’s darkness. 

 “Our enemy seeks to destroy us with darkness. Instead, choose hope.”

__________

 One of the top Christian albums of 2018 was for KING & COUNTRY's album “Burn the Ships." 

 Luke and Joel Smallbone like to talk about their favorite song from that album: “Together.”

 “Our first attempt to write this song was about two years ago for our album “Burn”. 

 “Joel was in Los Angeles and we were writing the song together virtually. 

 “I was taking a drive with my kids to pick up dinner for the family and thought my phone was on mute. 

 And I said to my kids, “You’re in this life together. You’re going to outlive mom and dad, and like brothers, you need to figure out how to make it through together.”

__________

 “One of the guys we were writing with heard that exchange and said we should write a song about togetherness. 

 “We got it partly written and then abandoned the song. 

 “We picked it up again last year and found ourselves doing shows in Canada when the pandemic hit.

 “We were in Toronto for what we knew would be our last show for a while.

__________

 “They told us they were shutting down the tour. 

 “I walked off the stage and told Joel that I think there was a reason why we were supposed to release this song at this time. 

 “God’s providence was in the fact that this song is for today and it’s for the things we're going through not only as Americans but around the world. 

 “I’m grateful for God’s timing in releasing this song.

__________

 “One Bible verse in particular connects to the message of the song.

 “It’s from Matthew Chapter 11: 

 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

__________

 “We’ve got a takeaway message from the song.

 “Together" means something specific.

 “The beauty of writing songs as an artist is if you stay in it long enough, you make yourself available to the creative process. 

 “And God will guide your steps. 

 “Up until we walked off that stage in Canada in March, we couldn’t have known what this song could mean for this season of Covid-19.

__________

 “This is for the busted heart

This is for the question marks

This is for the outcast soul

Lost control, no one knows.”

 “Layering on the physical isolation and now racial unrest, in a time where this virus is not isolated to one group of people or country or social class, this song has become the great equalizer. 

 “It's helping us all reconsider this beautiful concept that we all bleed the same blood.

 “And if we are able to unite and support--be a neighbor to someone, serve someone, reach out to someone--how might those acts of kindness change the scope of our futures, together? 

__________

 “This song has taken many shapes and forms. 

 “Today, the song represents the question of when everything is pushing against togetherness, what does it mean in the middle of that to aggressively choose togetherness? 

 “It means we ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

__________

 “So often, even as Christians, we think by avoiding conflict and passively avoiding people in general means that we are following God's commands. 

 “However, we are called to actively love one another.

 “There is a lot of practical truth throughout “Together” about living out the "golden rule.”

_________

 “As we said earlier, we’ve been inspired by what God promises us in the Gospel of Matthew that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. 

 “God comes and claims us in our darkest place. 

 “When we are in communion with God, it is joyful and not a burden. 

__________

 “God has not forgotten you. 

 “He is closer than you could ever imagine, He is still the same today as yesterday.

 “He’s still the same as he was before Covid-19 and as he will be after it.

__________

 “If you’ve put all your hope and trust in Jesus to save you from yourself, know it as fact. 

 "Together" sings about how we're commanded to love others by Jesus. 

 “This song challenges all of us to think about how well I am loving others. 

 As St. John says, "We love because He first loved us."

__________

 That what the song’s video is trying to say.

 It’s a socially distanced music video that featured listener-penned messages of struggle, strength and humor captured during self-isolation. 

 Roughly 2,000 fans submitted notes. 

 "I reunited with my family who loves me," one poster said. "God is good." 

 "My dad died from COVID-19," another wrote. 

__________

 The song/video is an amazing reminder of how we're called to be a light from Jesus for others, every day without complaining or arguing. 

 Following Christ isn't something that can be done halfheartedly or on the side for King and Country believes. 

 It is not a label we can display when it is useful. 

 It must be central to everything we do and are, especially in these days. 

__________

 As we listen to this great song by “for KING & COUNTRY,” think about how well you are loving others during Covid-19 and finals.

 And know that Jesus loves you. 

 Remember the lyrics:

 “Together we are bolder, braver, stronger.”

 “Amen” to that.

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

All my thoughts surrounding the Evermore album so far

For the first time in forever, I went into an album refusing to write down any notes or whatever about how I felt upon the first listen and really just let it sink in. Even when ranking the songs, I did it by gut feeling and refused to elaborate. But being over 24 hours and a dozen listens in and basically having the same opinions and thoughts, I felt it was time to put out everything I feel so far.

Basically this post is going to go over not only my thoughts on and relationship to the songs of Evermore, but how I feel about it as an album and specifically a sister album to Folklore. So I hope you enjoy it.

What I think of Evermore as a whole/it’s relationship with Folklore:

Truth be told Evermore is currently quite low on my Taylor album rankings. This isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy it and definitely is not me saying I didn’t like any of the songs. But the environment of an album and ability to get something out of listening to the songs all together and in order that you could not otherwise get is important to me to the point it’s my favourite thing about listening to albums. And right now? Outside of Tis The Damn Season and Dorothea, it’s just not there for me. In many ways, that has made Evermore very similar to Speak Now and Lover vibe wise to me in that it feels like an array of great songs as opposed to a perfect album experience like RED, Reputation and even Fearless feels to me. So while I could absolutely see myself listening to most of the songs on this album for years to come, I’ve already found myself listening to the album itself out of order and focusing on my favourite tracks more.

I would also argue that the only reason Evermore is a ‘sister album’ to Folklore is because it’s by Taylor Swift. And that may sound weird, but hear me out. The fact of the matter is that the only ways in which this album and Folklore are more ‘sisterly’ towards each other than other albums is because they are similar production wise and both are at least partially based on the stories of others. I could name you an array of artists whose albums share these same qualities yet are not seen as sibling albums. And honestly, right now it feels like the only reason these two albums are being seen as sisters is because they have come from someone who has been expected to change sounds, vibes and everything else every ‘era’ because she has admitted in the past that she has a fear of people getting sick of her. In my honest opinion, Reputation and Lover feel more like sister albums to me than Folklore and Evermore. This is not to say that Evermore is a lesser album for not being a sister project to Folklore, it’s just not something a connection I’m feeling right now.

What I’m about to say next may sound like it contradicts with what I just said but as it is a personal connection and not objective, I feel like it doesn’t. For me personally, Folklore was predominately an album that opened up and described my trauma relating to losing my whole family while Evermore feels more like a recovery album. So on a personal level, they are other sides of the same coin and while that makes them sister albums to an extent, to me it was not the extent Taylor meant because obviously these songs were not written with me and my personal issues in mind.

With that in mind, if we’re going to compare Folklore and Evermore like many people have, I feel as if Folklore is the stronger album but Evermore has stronger songs. Basically as a full experience I prefer Folklore, but the songs I like off of Evermore I love more than the ones I like off of Folklore. At this point, I will also say I think I love the production of Evermore more than Folklore, but I can also see that being a mood based thing.

What I think of each individual song:

Willow: I’m going to be honest, I do not see the hype for this song. Like objectively it’s not a bad song, but there’s just not really anything drawing me back to it. While clever, the 90s line also threw me off a bit and feels kinda out of place with the rest of the song giving ancient/mythical vibes to be honest. It seems to be a hot take at the moment, but I also found myself bored with the music video and didn’t seem to love the fact that it is a continuation of Cardigan as much as everyone else. I did however appreciate the love interest being from an Asian background during a time when they are on the receiving end of racial villification. I will say I think the first chorus is the strongest part of the song.

Champagne Problems: I feel like this is going to be the song that is most consistently among my favourites for this album. While most of my other favourites are the deep cuts or bops that I need to be in the right mood for, Champagne Problems feels like a good mix that I can listen to any time. It’s also kinda been a blessing for me because the man I love told me upon listening to it that my fear of marriage and actions around that lately have made him worry that we’re going to end up like that which has really made me reflect today on the fact that my fear of not being good enough to keep him isn’t going to be fixed by holding him at arm’s length, it can only be fixed by working to be the better person I think he deserves. In terms of Taylor, I’ve heard some of you think that Tom proposed while they were together and that the ring in the LWYMMD video is actually reference to him and I’mma be real, if that’s the case, damn right she should have said no because they were together what, 2 or so months??? In saying that, as a general sister piece to Getaway Car in that they’re both about realising you don’t love the person you’re with as much as they love you, it’s a nice comparison and I could see it.

Gold Rush: Taylor girl, please go to therapy about not feeling good enough for your man and insecurities that he’s gonna leave you for someone else. You are absolutely good enough. Honestly, all up I feel like this song is the definition of good. It’s not something I’d seek out to listen to but it’s not something I’d skip if it came on. The production is definitely the highlight of the song for me.

Tis The Damn Season: This song really hits hard for someone still living in her childhood house in her hometown huh? I’ve seen a lot of people relate this song back to The 1, and to be honest, they both remind me of the same platonic relationship I once had and things I wish we had said to each other, so I can see that. Look in all honesty, this is just one of those songs where I cannot pinpoint what makes it so good because it’s everything. The production, the lyrics, the emotion; it all works together to make it an amazing song. When considering the album as a whole, I think Tis The Damn Season and Dorothea are the strongest sign of creating an environment and emotion given that they are songs about the same relationship.

Tolerate It: I get why this is track five, and much like Mirrorball off of Folklore, had it come out in 2018 or beforehand, it would have owned my soul and been my favourite song off of this album forever. But nearly everyone who has ever made me feel this way was purged out of my life no later than 2018 so I feel so far removed from it. While I understand the artistic choice for the second half of the song to be wordy and faster paced to the point of feeling offbeat because that’s how it comes off when you’re thinking of all the ways you can defend yourself and/or leave, I personally prefer the first half of the song far more than the second half due to its flow. Had I enjoyed the second half as much as the first, I think this would have been a tied favourite from the album. I’ve seen Swifties say this is a Tayvin and/or John/Taylor song and yeah to be honest, I feel that. I also love the intepretations surrounding it being a queer person and a queerphobic family member.

No Body No Crime: Upon first listen, this was an automatic tied favourite of mine. But, while I’ll still say it is, listening to it on repeat today made me feel like it’s something I need to listen to sparingly or it’ll get overplayed fast, much like Betty did on Folklore for me personally. This is another song I really don’t have much to say about because I love it all and it’s a bop. As a more general note, I will say that I agree with people that I wish Taylor’s vocal collaborations with women included them actually having a verse rather than feeling like backup singers for Taylor. But for what we got, I think Haim added a lot to this song with their ‘He did it’ sounding like Este’s ghost reassuring Taylor he killed her and Danielle’s ‘she was with me dude’ adding a lot of atmosphere to the song. In my mind, Este’s husband wasn’t planning to leave/kill her or move his mistress in but accidentally killed Este as she tried to leave him. Either way though, it’s a great song and I can definitely see why it’s a fan favourite.

Happiness: This was my other tied favourite upon my first listen. When thinking of Taylor, I tend to agree with people that this song is probably about Scott and recoving from leaving Big Machine. When considering what it means to me... well it’s complicated. Truly, I want to reach a point where this is what I think of my family. I hope someday I can get there. But for now, it is another self love song; as if I am talking to my pre and/or newly traumatised teenaged self at age 25. This probably sounds weird but I also love that it’s my favourite while being the longest track (so far, obviously we don’t know about bonus tracks) of the album because there’s something so special to me about Taylor’s longer tracks.

Dorothea: A cute song. That’s really all I can say. Again, I love it’s connection with Tis The Damn Season and it makes me smile thinking about that platonic relationship these songs remind me of. Really just in general this song makes me happy and is probably the one I could see myself randomly singing around the house the most.

Coney Island: Honestly I like the idea/message behind this song more than I like the song itself. Like the idea of not appreciating something until its too late reasonates with me and again, is something I wish the ex friend Dorothea reminds me of would tell me they feel, but obviously I cannot change that. I’ve seen posts about how the bridge of this song was inspired by John, Jake, Harry and Calvin, but to be honest, in general this song feels very purely Tayvin to me, but like from Calvin’s (or at least what Taylor hopes is his) point of view. All up, I think the production of this song is its strong point and the reason that while it’s still not one of my favourites, it’s somewhat grown on me.

Ivy: Another hot take? This is another song that I just haven’t been able to get into. Like I like the idea that it’s the ‘tough’ parts of Invisible String where you have to take the leaps not knowing where you’ll end up, but yeah, I don’t know, it just wasn’t something that has caught my attention yet.

Cowboy Like Me: This song is a vibe. Like it’s the type of song I could see myself putting on while just wanting to chill or do something else at the same time, but I don’t feel like it’s something I’m going to opt to listen to on its own that much. Basically it’s as middle of the road track for me as they come. I will say however that ‘Now you hang off my lips like the gardens of Babylon’ has lived in my mind rent free all day.

Long Story Short: This song is so fun. I love that barring Folklore, I could see it being on any of Taylor’s albums since Fearless. It also reminds me of another non-Taylor song, but I can’t think of what and that has been bugging me all day. I saw a lot of people saying that they’re over Taylor talking about 2016, and personally while it’s not my favourite topic either, she’s free to write about whatever she wants and honestly? I feel like her more upbeat, funner sounding songs like this one have boded better with me when she first releases them ever since Lover so I’m glad she released it. Anyway, like I said, it’s another cute fun song that I can see myself dancing to in my room for a while yet and that makes me so happy.

Majorie: I’m gonna be honest, I feel like this is a song you have to relate to to love, and I do not relate to it. Like I think had my family shit not gone down, I would have cried to this thinking of my recently deceased grandfather because I felt the closest to him out of any family member as a kid, but yeah, that’s not how things are now and so I don’t have the emotional attachment to this song. I can however see myself getting it when my mother dies to be honest. But for now, it’s a sweet song and I get why people love it.

Closure: Remember how I said Happiness is how I wish I felt about my family? Closure is how I actually feel about them. To be honest, the fact that everyone seems to have this as their least favourite song from the album shocks me because I think it’s one of the most relatable. I’m also surprised so many of you feel like this is about Karlie given the sounds at the beginning and end sound like (Big) Machines and the second verse and bridge scream Scott to me. All up, I genuinely really like this song and feel like it’s the one with the most experimentation that works for the track despite the lyrical simplicity to be honest.

Evermore: Lyrically, this is my favourite track from the album. Production wise? ... well Taylor’s part is amazing. This is another song where artistically I appreciate how jaggered Justin’s voice makes the song because it works contextually at that part, but it’s a bit much for me in terms of wanting to have the song on repeat. Though it wouldn’t have had the same jaggered hence artistic feel, I do wish Justin had used his lower register because I feel like it would have suited the replayability of the song more. Regardless, it is another self recovery/reflection song for me and definitely one of my favourite (and perhaps the most socially relevant given how 2020 was for most people) closers from Taylor... though she always knocks those out of the park.

Final Thoughts:

Though not being my favourite overall album from Taylor, Evermore is a solid album with amazing songs. It is also an album I can see being a grower and/or mood based album. So with two songs still coming, I’m not about to rule it out as being something I won’t love more in the future. This is especially the when I know that even if I don’t get the environment I usually love from it, Evermore has so many amazing songs I can see myself listening to for years to come.

[neopuff]

hello, i hope you're having a good day!! i was wondering, do you have any tips for making amvs? like, what programmes you use, how you handle the timing, etc. thank you for all the fun edits you make!!

hi!! sorry for the delay in answering this, i just wanted to take the time to answer it thoroughly and i kept forgetting lol & thank you! i already typed this once and tumblr made it disappear so i apologize if anything i say comes out short ‘cause i’m just trying to remember all that i typed before lol

ok so ill just go through my general editing process in Vegas, i dont know any other program well enough to talk about it at length:

(disclaimer: this is just how i do it, i dont watch tutorials and my editing friends and i don’t watch each other edit often so i would assume that my way is very different from other ways you’ve probably seen! i might even do something in a very stupidly hard way, please feel free to tell me if theres an easier way to do anything lol)

1. Song: So skipping past the “choosing song and ship/character/show” theme, I’ll dive straight into CUTTING THE SONG! I’m not about that Editing The Entire Song life, and neither is most of the editing community anymore, so I cut it up into a shorter thing that I’m better equipped to edit to. I’m just using a random example but here I’ve taken this long ass song and turned it into this:

(the next step just kind of depends on my mood, or ill do both, doesnt matter)

2-A. Subclips: if im making a shorter video or a video where i’m not 100% super familiar with the footage, i will immediately start making subclips using the episodes ive already pulled into the project. if it’s a ship/character that i’ve edited before, i’ll just go to Import->Media from Project and import the subclips i made previously. either way, subclips are there! 

2-B. Sheets: for ships that i know very well/have a lot of footage/im concerned about potentially repeating something, i will go to Google Sheets/Excel and take the lyrics im editing to and put them in column A, separating by pauses in the singing. then i put corresponding footage i think will go well in column B! im often not super specific because i know the beats are gonna be different than i remember, so i usually stick to referencing whole scenes instead of specifics moments. here’s an example:

3. Clip placement: Then I start placing clips down! Below is how I organize my timeline tho I know a lot of editors who put the music on top, this is just how I like it. I also keep a single muted audio layer in between for the video footage’s audio and then I’ll delete that layer when I’m done (or sometimes I don’t, it doesn’t really matter)

I think it’s good to hit the beats as much as possible, it makes for a more dynamic audio-visual experience! In general I try to make my videos so that, if I didn’t add any zooms or typography or coloring, it would still be a good amv. And don’t limit yourself to just one layer, you can have as many layers as you’d like and put clips on top of each other (cookie cutter/changing the layer to dodge or add or screen or whatever) is a good way to mix things up

when I zoom in you can see I’ve got some variety already in my transitions, I know I use that motion-blur-zoom a lot these days but I still try to mix it up and keep my brain invested

4. Typography: After all the clips have been placed (or most of the clips, ofc sometimes I’ll want to add more later) I move on to typography! I’m lazy so the first thing I’ll do it just put down unedited text where I think I’ll want it to go. It just helps me organize myself. Then I’ll pretty up the text afterwards.

Typography isn’t necessary for a good AMV, but really nice typography can really spruce things up. I’ve only very recently gotten confident in my text editing skills, and I just kept watching typography done by editors I really like until I figured out what they were doing. My recommendation is to just KEEP ADDING EFFECTS! Convolution kernel, gaussian blur, mask the text so it appears from angles that the transitions wouldn’t be able to do - of course there’s gotta be a limit for taste, but just add stuff until you like how it looks. Also changing the blending style of the text layer is good, dodge and difference are my go-tos for typography layers.

5. Transitions: I don’t go crazy with transitions, but it’s fun to mess around with them. You don’t want too many crazy/different transitions, you want them to match the mood of the song and the type of beat you’re hitting. I usually ensure that all similar beats in the song have the same transition type on them, bbbbbbut that’s cuz I’m overly obsessed with parallel structure. There’s plenty of fantastic AMVs where they just go ham and do whatever types of transitions they want to in each part of the song and they make it work just fine

(next step, once again, kind of depends on my mood lol)

6-A. Zooms: Time for zooms! I usually just use the pan/crop for zooming, but often I’ll incorporate Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves or NewBlue AutoPan, especially if I’m trying to zoom typography with the footage at the same rate. I try to keep my zooms short and slower, I mean obv it just depends on the song but yeah. There’s a lot of different ways to do zooms so I recommend experimenting and just playing around with different effects

6-B. Zooms...but different: Another way that I’ll do zooms which is definitely pretty different (but this is what I do for crossovers like 95% of the time because I am laaaaaaaaaaazy) is I’ll drag the project into a new project timeline and start editing it there. It’s similar to how After Effects works and it makes it easier to put effects overtop of multiple layers without having to pre-render anything.

So you can see I’ve just pulled in the .VEG file and popped it in the timeline! So this way I can add zooms and transitions without worrying about layers. And if I see a mistake I need to fix, I can just go back into the original .VEG file and edit it, and it’ll be edited when I come back here. So it’s much easier than pre-rendering or trying to do zooms on a lot of layers. To be clear tho, this doesn’t work well if you have a lot of fade transitions, it’s best for sharp transitions and it’s great when you’re using Sapphire FX BlurMoCurves a lot.

7. Overlays: After that I’ll add more typography (or if you didn’t add any earlier, you can add some here overtop of the new project file) that kind of goes on top of everything. And then I’ll add any overlays or objects or whatever else I wanna add! I’m not someone who uses a lot of backgrounds cuz I don’t have a background-creative-brain so I stick to simple overlays at the most.

8. Coloring!!! This is very sad but I only JUST learned a few weeks ago that you can add coloring/effects to your entire video with this button here, so in case anyone else hates watching tutorials as much as I do here’s where I’m talking about:

This shit would’ve made my life so much easier throughout the years lol But alas. Anyway so for coloring there are some effects that are popular for any colorings you’ll find on YT (but you can certainly just download some, Riverdale editors in particular share a lot of really great colorings but you’ll find them anywhere in the live action editing community):

Channel Blend, Color Curves, Color Blend, Color Balance, Convolution Kernel (best for live action footage or footage that isnt very crisp), Color Corrector Secondary

These are all just fun to mess with. Channel Blend in particular is something of a mystery for me, I haven’t studied it fully to understand what I’m doing so I mostly just mess with it randomly until I like what I see lol

9. Render time! First render, anyway. Usually there’ll be some random problem in the footage or something and I’ll have to either go back into the project and fix it OR if I’m feeling particularly sour (or maybe if I’ve rendered like 3-4 times already) I will just take the finished render and manually remove any errors, stretching out the good footage to cover my tracks. You’d be surprised how often I end up doing that lol

And then it’s good to post! I primarily render as .WMV but I also go for .MP4s every once in a while. If I want to upload it to Twitter I’ll do an .MP4 but it’s a new thing for me so I’m still stuck on .WMV mostly.

Anyway I hope this answered your question at least a little bit, I can go into more detail about certain parts of this if you’d like!

[maxsmusicmacrology]

Album Analysis: Best of Crush 40

Halfway through the 90s, everything changed. The PlayStation came out in 94, allowing games with 3D graphics and high-fidelity (for the time, that is) audio. Big Red came hopping onto the scene with Super Mario 64 in 96, and Sonic Adventure came onto the scene at the very end of 98. As a latecomer to the 3D party, arriving over 2 years after Mario had such a successful romp, they needed something special. They needed…

Children’s media! I’m of the opinion that there are two main categories that children’s media can fall into: there’s media that is specifically made for children, like Blue’s Clues or Peppa Pig or those licensed Sesame Street games. Then there’s kid-friendly media that, while made for and marketed towards children, can still appeal to adults. This would be most Pixar movies, shows like Phineas and Ferb, and the object of today’s article, the Sonic franchise.

While there’s some pretty huge differences between children’s media and kid-friendly media, one thing they both have in common is the goal of teaching children a moral lesson. With varying degrees of success. This can be something simple like “stealing is bad”, but oftentimes there’s some greater nuance, like how the protagonist of Inside Out learns to value sadness and other “negative” emotions. But when working with hardware that has some intense limitations, like the NES or Sega Genesis, telling a complex story isn’t easy, which is why Save the Princess plots (Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, the opening to Final Fantasy) were so common: it allowed for a moral hero without requiring any deeper discussion. Sonic the Hedgehog went with a bit more of an environmentalist message- saving animals from an evil scientist- which was easy enough to portray in only 16 bits.

Halfway through the 90s, everything changed. The PlayStation came out in 94, allowing games with 3D graphics and high-fidelity (for the time, that is) audio. Big Red came hopping onto the scene with Super Mario 64 in 96, and Sonic Adventure came onto the scene at the very end of 98. As a latecomer to the 3D party, arriving over 2 years after Mario had such a successful romp, they needed something special. They needed…

I’m going to review this album out of order. This is a “Best of” album, so rather than being a picture of the band’s musical vision at any given time, it contains some of their best work from over a decade-long span. What I’m especially interested in is how the music interacts with its respective game and how it evolves with the franchise, so let’s take a look at song #15 first.

Open Your Heart kicks off Sonic Adventure with a bang. It’s the first thing you hear when you boot the game up and it accompanies the final battle. Well, most of it, anyway- part 1 of the battle gets Open Your Heart and part 2 gets generic “tense orchestral music”, which is a flat-out awful decision, but I digress. Tonally, it’s perfect- it starts out tense, preparing you for the fight ahead, and then the guitars kick in to pull you forward. But more importantly… this is why I brought up the moral conflict earlier. The story is simple, so the game leans on the song to deliver its message.

Much of the lyrics are as relevant today as they probably were for most of human history: the quieter intro bit describes various catastrophes, and describes the fear and confusion that follows (much like the one we’ve been living in for the past few months). The song’s chorus is built around a dialectic: Can’t hold on much longer/but I will never let go, but then ends with Open your heart, it’s gonna be alright. Together, these components combine the fear of catastrophe with the innate desire to make things better. It instills the idea that it’s okay to have conflicting feelings about a course of action, then promises that your heart will make the right choice.

Live and Learn is the main theme of the direct sequel, Sonic Adventure 2, and fills the same roles as Open Your Heart. The opening riff plays when the game is launched, the full song plays over the final battle, and it delivers the moral lesson of the game. If Open Your Heart introduces a lesson about conflict, then Live and Learn teaches you what to do when you’ve made the wrong choice. What happens if you trust the wrong people, stay when you should’ve run or run when you should’ve stayed, let something important fall into the wrong hands?

The very title of the song hints at its message- you learn from your mistakes and do better- but to me the line that really hits comes in the second verse. But you can’t save your sorrows/you’ve paid in trade. It recontextualizes all the regret someone feels from a mistake as a sort of currency: it’s not to be saved, kept in your mind and dwelled on- you’ve exchanged it, traded it for valuable life experience. If you focus on the mistake instead of the lesson, you’ll never grow, and it’ll all have been a waste. Not only is it a natural progression from the last song, it’s an absolute banger of a track.

Next up is Sonic Heroes, the intro track to… Sonic Heroes. That won’t be confusing. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this one, it’s not the big moral apex of the game and it’s much more of a title theme than the song the game wants you to walk away from. It’s goofy as hell to listen to, but it always puts a smile on my face.

What I’m Made of is the final battle theme to Sonic Heroes and is, in my opinion, the finale of the Open Your Heart trilogy. Looking at the three songs is a sort of rudimentary 3-act structure: you have the introduction and first conflict, the dark part at the end of act 2, and the triumphant closer. The protagonist takes the lesson they learned through the story and uses it to defeat their opponent. What I have in my two hands is enough to set me free. Use the lessons you’ve learned through hardship to better yourself. The songs form a very nice trilogy when viewed like this that parallels the games quite nicely, and I’m confused as to why they’re all out of order on the album.

That finishes off the Adventure and Heroes saga, and now onto… Shadow the Hedgehog… god. I Am… All of Me is the opening track to the game and also the first song on the album, and it’s so goofy. It tries to be all dark and intimidating because Shadow is the dark and edgy character, who has guns and says “damn” because he has a tragic backstory, and the character isn’t edgy because he’s a cartoon hedgehog and and the song isn’t edgy because it’s a song about a cartoon hedgehog.

That doesn’t mean it’s bad, mind you. I enjoy it, and in a way it’s a perfect fit for the game. It’s like a kid wearing a vampire costume on halloween: they can try to scare you all they want, but the worst they can do is make you smile.

All Hail Shadow is the next Shadow the Hedgehog piece. This one was originally by a group called Magna-Fi, and was covered by Crush 40 for use in later games when the band broke up. Shadow the Hedgehog features multiple paths and multiple endings, and this is the “true hero” ending when the player makes all the heroic choices. This song does a good job painting Shadow as Sonic’s foil: both of them are heroes from this point forward, but while Sonic is more of a classical hero, Shadow is an anti-hero. Somewhere in chaos we all find ourselves/this destruction is the only tale we tell. The game features Shadow trying to recover his memories and find his true self, figure out who he really is, and this is the song that has him rediscover himself as a hero.

Finally, Never Turn Back is the true ending theme for the game, and the last Shadow the Hedgehog song in the album. This is the “moral lesson” song I’ve been on about so much, and it’s a damn good one. It starts with a slow cover that samples I am… All of Me, then it gets a powerful kick that rings in the rest of the song. The message in the song is similar to Live and Learn about not repeating mistakes, but Never Turn Back gives a sense of a much more arduous period in one’s life. If Live and Learn is about recovering from a mistake, Never Turn Back is about recovering from a long series of them. It’s been a long rough road but I’m finally here/Move an inch forward, feels like a year. It’s very much about cutting yourself free of a bad period in your life and how difficult it can be to even stay put, but the positive vibe of the song reminds us to celebrate the small victories. It’s a bit more mature of a message for a game that… at least tried to be more mature.

I haven’t talked a whole lot about how the music interacts with the events of the game partially because this is a music review, but partially because it’s gone perfectly hand and hand with the music so far. There hasn’t been much dissonance between “rock music that gives life advice” and “young-ish hedgehog learning how to live life”. That’s about to change, though, because it’s time for Sonic 06. At the end of Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic declared that he was no one special, “just a guy who loves adventure”. This is when that ceased to be true.

The first three songs we discussed weren’t about Sonic. The singer was a nameless narrator occasionally fighting a nameless opponent. They were relevant to the series, but they could be about anyone. That’s what made them so versatile. His World is the main theme of Sonic 06, and where the other 2 versions of the song existed more to hype up Sonic as a character, the Crush 40 cover was more about the events of the game. As a song, it’s pretty good: it’s a more intense version of the original song, and it’s got a slower but steadier pace to it. But here’s what sets it apart from the other main themes: it’s about Sonic. It’s not a lesson about facing conflict and overcoming adversity wrapped up in an upbeat rock song, it’s about the events of the game and how awesome Sonic is. He isn’t the everyman anymore, he’s an important figure, a chosen one to save the world from this point forward. The music reflects that.

To really drive home this new direction they were going, Sega released two games for the Wii called “Sonic Storybook” games, where Sonic would become the main character of two classic stories: Arabian Nights and the legend of King Arthur. They’re both terrible in… just about every aspect, but the first entry Sonic and the Secret Rings is godawful. The main theme Seven Rings in Hand wasn’t written or originally performed by Crush 40, but for some reason they decided to cover it for their album, so I have to talk about it: it’s trash. It’s a bunch of empty lyrics about nothing with some pretty subpar mixing.

While Sonic and the Black Knight isn’t much better, it at least has a killer main theme. Knight of the Wind as a song is pretty badass, but it suffers the same issues as His World. There’s no more important meaning, it’s just about Sonic being a knight and saving people. It has a few familiar “never give up” themes, but it doesn’t do anything as well as Open Your Heart or Live and Learn. It falls into the Sonic Heroes mold where it’s fun to listen to and less fun to really take apart and analyze. The ending theme (which strangely precedes Knight of the Wind) Live Life samples Knight of the Wind, but that’s pretty much the coolest thing it does. It’s slow and pensive, making a sense of faux-thoughtfulness to cover mostly shallow lyrics.

With Me (Massive Power Mix) is the last Sonic and the Black Knight theme here, and was originally written by Crush 40 and performed by singers from the band “All Ends”. The album features a version performed by the band itself, and the song is unique in that it’s sung from the POV of the game’s villain. As a result, it features a look into a character who walked a “dark path”, weighed down by the mistakes they made. Don’t blame [me] for what I have become. It’s an ideological clash against the values in the other songs, arguing that anyone can be tempted to become evil. It’s deeper than anything in the game, but it’s shockingly good considering its source material.

That does it for the main series themes, but there’s a few others on here- a couple tracks for the racing games, an oddly placed cover of Fire Woman, and a too-slow ballad-sounding original song called Is It You. However, I think I’ve gone on long enough, and I’ve discussed everything I wanted to: how the songs showcased on this album elevate the messages given in the games.

Ultimately, all these songs are mirrors of the game they’re in, for better or worse. For that, I have to applaud the band’s versatility- even if most of the songs are the same genre, they cover a wide range of moods and messages depending on what the game demands. They can write a kick-ass guide to getting over failure or a fun little romp to introduce a game. Even divorced from their source material, many of the songs stand well on their own, and there’s a very good reason why fans of the franchise want Crush 40 to return for future installments.

Videos cited:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJYxYzxFyZw Peppa Pig - Caddicarus (warning: weird shit)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JWYDUYqhlc&list=PL5F29F0909BF08B56&index=15 - Best of Crush 40 Playlist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voI-9TdS0Jw - Seven Rings in Hand (Crush 40 Ver)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HrOjyltyEM - With Me (Massive Power Mix)

[three-course-fillorian-feast]

I saw on someone else's post that you offered to show them how to make gifs? I am super interested in making The Magicians gifs so I was wondering if you could teach me as well? Or even make a public post or tutorial or something? Thank you!!!!

Yeah, of course! There are a lot of ways to make gifs, some of them undoubtedly better than what I do. But, for me, I have a couple methods I generally use, one with Photoshop (when I want very specific control over the colors, composition, type styles, etc.), and the other with just a free tool (when I just want to make a gif that looks decent and not sink a ton of time into it). 

I’ll go over the free tool method here; it’s more straightforward and limited, but wayyyy friendlier for someone just starting out. Also, again: it’s free. (But lemme know if you wanna talk Photoshop and I’m always happy to open that giant can of worms.)

One nice thing about gifs becoming the one true currency of the web is that a lot of gif-oriented sites have built gif-making tools in the past couple years and made them free and easy to use, so we can all become gif-producing worker bees, constantly toiling to keep up with the internet’s insatiable demand for gifs.

I use Gif Brewery 3 for mac, built by Gfycat. (There’s also Giphy’s GIF Capture which I’ve used a few times and didn’t hate.) So for the purposes of this tutorial, Step 0: Download and install Gif Brewery 3

So! Now let’s make a gif. Let’s say I want to make some gifs of Margo taking her throne as high king. 

Step 1: Open Netflix in Google Chrome (i.e. not Safari because it blanks your screen if you try to record your screen while a video’s playing) or play a DVD on your computer, or pull up the scene you want on YouTube. Basically get a video of the scene you want playing on your computer screen in whatever fashion you prefer.

Step 2: Open Gif Brewery and select “Record Screen.” Resize the window that Gif Brewery then opens up so that it frames the video, hit record, and then play the part of the video you want to gif.

Step 3: When you’re done with video, click “Stop.” Gif Brewery will then open the video clip that you made in their interface. You can close your browser and the blue frame window. You can see the full clip you just recorded in Gif Brewery. Trim the extra bits off of the clip by dragging the green bar to define your start point and the red bar to define your end point.

Step 4: Resize! Tumblr’s main content box is 540 pixels wide. So if you’re making a gif that’s meant to be full width, you can size down to that width. Make sure “Maintain Aspect Ratio” is checked. (Now’s a good time to also crop if you want to, say, gif only Margo’s face without the space to her left and right.)

Step 5: So now we have something that’s the size and shape of a gif. If you want to add text, now’s a good time to do it. Use the “Text” button at the top of the window to open the Text box. Here you add your text, adjust the font weight, size, color, and border if you’re using one. I’m going to use a Billie Eilish lyric for this example because I’m cliche as hell. 

If you’re making a standard-style gif with a text caption, you’ll use a bold san serif font like Helvetica, with a black border around it to make sure it’s readable, and then keeping it small and centered at the bottom of your gif, like so:

But! if you’re feeling Artsy, go nuts with your font choice and placement. Find a font that captures the tone your message and clip are conveying. You can find a wide range of free fonts on Google Fonts or good old DaFont. I want that badass Margo ‘tude, so I’m using a grungy font and Margo’s signature bright fuschia. Drag the text box to move and resize it until you’re happy with it.

Step 6: Time to fix your colors! Screen captured images basically always look more dark and muted than they should. The fix is to fuss and fuss and fuss and then fuss some more over the colors. Gif Brewery has limited color controls, but as I’ve learned, you can still spend an inordinate amount of time fussing over them. The Magicians makes this an especially good exercise in finding the limits of your patience because they’re always backlighting scenes in a way that blow out your brightness when you try to make even small edits. (Which is why I’m switching over to a different shot that’s easier to work with for this example. Margo’s hella backlit in our gif.)

Exposure Adjust: Increase exposure to make your brights brighter

Gamma Adjust: Increase gamma to make your darks richer

Saturation: Increase to make the colors as rich as they can be

Vibrance: I also like increasing vibrance for even more of a pop of color

Hue Adjust: their hue controls are funky, but you can make some minor adjustments if at this point your gif looks weirdly too red or yellow.

Play around until you find what looks good to your eye. For a gif that’s meant to look like it’s colored normally, watch out for things like: the whole thing looks too dark and you have to squint to see the details; you overbrightened and now the white is blown out and blinding; or you oversaturated so much things look pixely and glitchy. 

Step 7: Open the Settings panel with the button at the top right. Time for more fussing to make sure the timing, frames, and settings are how you want them.

HERE’S THE THING: Tumblr does NOT let you upload gifs larger than 3mb. So everything you’re doing in this panel is a balancing game to keep your gif under 3mb without letting it look like trash. These are the settings you’ll fiddle with most often:

Speed is set to 100% by default. But you may want to slow it down, especially if your clip is only a couple seconds long. Slower means it’s easier to see the subtle changes in a character’s expressions and it makes the action look less jerky. The slower you set your speed, the more frames will be added to the gif, so keep an eye on that.

Frames per Second is what it sounds like. The lower you set this number, the fewer frames you’ll use, but the animation will look jerkier. You want enough frames per second that your animation looks as smooth as a hot knife sliding through butter. 12 is their default. I try to not go lower than 10. When I’m feeling particularly luxurious, I’ll set this to 15.

Color Count: Gifs can use as many as 256 colors and as few as 2, if you don’t care about your gif being an offense to nature. You can set it to the low 200s without compromising on quality, though, so that’s what I did here.

Step 8: Hit “Create” and wait an inordinate amount of time while your gif renders. When it finally, finally does, check the filesize on the bottom right. In the above gif, you’ll see my gif was 2.1mb. Perfect. So I can hit save and it’s done. But if it had said anything larger than 3mb, I’d have hit “Cancel” and then fiddled with the settings some more to get the number of frames down.

Alt-Step 6B: If I want to do anything fancier/artsy-ier/more unique than this kind of gif, this is when I’d usually crack open Photoshop. But there is some room for creativity within Gif Brewery. Let’s go back to Margo and look at some of our options:

In the Filters menu, you can see there are a number of bre-built Photo Effects to play with. Sometimes they look awesome; sometimes they look like trash. So experiment! There’s also rando filters like Halftone effects. And the Color Effects can give you options like adding a vignette, fading the colors to old-timey sepia tones, or creating a duotone like I ended up doing. 

Have fun with it and look for effects that will support the tone you’re setting with clip and text you chose. So like for this Margo example, going black and white, or dark and heavy, etc. would not have been tonally consistent with the badass vibe I’m going for.

And I… think that’s it? At least to get started. Hopefully that helps, let me know if you have any questions! Or want to talk about anything beyond the basics. I’m always happy to dive into the specifics of how a particular effect was made, or how to add more advanced refinements.

[mastcrplanncr-a]

issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.

first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.

Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:

he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.

i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.

In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.

my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?

and my friend was like:

LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.

THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?

anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material.  also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:

isn’t that what he really wants?

Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.

some nice guilt there, huh, doc?

ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:

LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...

and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .

first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?

it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?

also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.

and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,

which starline does quite pointedly explain.

As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.

also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.

also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?

NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?

i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.

im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!

i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie

also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)

Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.

MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.

is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo

future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.

I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.

first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.

also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.

ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.

gonna go cry about an egg now brb