#i am 99% sure i am right and have some so much research but I always get confused about when exactly they went into hiding

[avelera]

I am literally so baffled by how so many people think the Viktor/Jayce separation in Arcane S2 was:

1. Rushed

2. Deserved, because Jayce ignored Viktor’s wishes and that’s what Viktor was reacting to

3. A choice Viktor was making, literally at all

Let’s go through these one at a time but they’re all related.

1. Yes it’s rushed. That’s because of time constraints per episode, sure, but forget that for a second. Viktor getting out of his goo cocoon and immediately leaving while still STARK NAKED is weird. It’s very weird. It’s meant to be a five alarm fire, red klaxons blaring, levels of really fucking WEIRD. The guy is LITERALLY NAKED he just walks out, barefoot, into the Undercity.

It’s weird and it’s meant to seem weird and indeed, inhuman, because that is not Viktor. Those are not Viktor’s choices. That is not who Viktor is. And the fact it is so rushed is part of the warnings, and meant to show us just how much something is very very wrong.

2. Tying into Point 1, if this was a real disagreement between Jayce and Viktor as we knew them through S1, Viktor would have stopped to get some damn trousers and shoes. I know it sounds like I’m joking but legitimately, there is no (or very little) conscious human thought going through Viktor’s head in that scene because a human being choosing to leave their partner of years over legitimate disagreements would have stopped to get fucking dressed before they left. That is not Viktor.

And to briefly launch into a defense of Jayce, he has spent literal years with Viktor doing science to address Viktor’s failing health. He knew about Viktor’s fear of dying. They’d both dedicated themselves to hextech in the hopes it would better people’s lives but the more selfish goal at the heart of that research for both of them was that it would save Viktor’s life.

Viktor only told Jayce one (1) time to destroy the hexcore and he didn’t explain why at all. Jayce didn’t know about the self experimentation. He didn’t know about Skye’s death because Viktor never told him.

Jayce spent years working on a cure for Viktor and in a moment of blind panic used their research to save his loved one’s life based on what 99% of his interactions with Viktor with one (1) outlier would have told him that this is what Viktor would have wanted, which was to live, and using their research to make sure he lives has always not only been on the table, it’s literally been the main focus of their overarching research goals minus one weird and unexplained thing Viktor said once while a zillion other things were going on in Jayce’s life.

Jayce using their research to save Viktor wasn’t a conscious defiance of Viktor’s wishes, it’s literally what 99.99% of Viktor’s wishes that Jayce knew about would have pointed towards. He was as far as he knew enacting Viktor’s wishes, the wishes Viktor had for years upon years. Without knowing about Sky, Viktor’s one request to destroy the hexcore was a weird and out of character request that had no explanation. It didn’t hold up when compared to everything else Jayce has ever known and experienced with Viktor.

3. Whew, anyway, the bigger point is that Viktor is a Hexcore puppet at this point so it doesn’t even matter if he had legitimate grievance against Jayce. He’s not leaving because of grievances, legitimate or otherwise. Viktor would never leave Jayce like that (or while STARK NAKED).

Literally in one of the last scenes we got that gave us a glimpse of Viktor’s inner life and motivations, he told Singed that Jayce would understand and stay by his side no matter his choices or transformations.

Singed is skeptical. But Viktor WAS RIGHT. Jayce didn’t even blink, didn’t hesitate at all to hug him after he was transformed so drastically. But my point is: real Viktor was actively worried about losing Jayce. Real Viktor would not take off like that.

And in one last defense of Jayce, I think the reason he just lets Viktor go there is that he has always respected Viktor’s autonomy.

Jayce notes in S1 that Viktor would often disappear without warning. He never tried to control Viktor’s movements. That’s what makes Jayce yelling at him for going to the Undercity so shocking to both of them in S1.

Jayce is also traumatized and shell shocked himself when Viktor leaves. He’s not prepared and he doesn’t argue. He doesn’t do what he probably should which is prevent Viktor from leaving (literally naked and barefoot!) because it doesn’t occur to him to control Viktor’s movements but also because he’s in shock.

But he really should because again, that’s not Viktor. That’s not Viktor making a conscious choice, that is another power and impulse puppeting what is left of Viktor, using his tenuous connections to his identity like his guilt over Sky and his/his + Sky’s overarching desire to help people in the Undercity.

It has nothing to do with Jayce. Jayce’s choices are not why Viktor is leaving. And the real Viktor would never leave Jayce under such abrupt and INHUMAN circumstances.

We are meant to be as alarmed and confused as Jayce was. It is a part of a pile of evidence that something is very wrong with Viktor and indeed, the Viktor we knew is not the one in charge of his actions right now. How much of him is even left in there is what remains to be seen, and if who he was can ever come back.

[klinefelterrible]

sooo I’m doing it for @k-kizkhalifa :} Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

There are times when I daydream a lot about a certain idea, like for example about the one about pairing Ron with Blaise, but mostly it’s just a Boom! and if I don’t write it now, it’s dead and gone.

Where do you get your fic ideas?

I imagine my (as in “original but in my way” or headcanonly or au) characters during certain activities (mostly: fucking) and I add something or someone extra, or I set the scene right before or after - as it comes to me.

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I rarely have a big idea that is different than a shortie I am writing or wrote already, but in my head it’s like once I say it, it’s done and gone - so sharing is equal to abandoning it most likely forever

How do you choose which fics to write?

Since I don’t understand the question really I will try answering how I feel it: I choose just by how I feel about right now. When I think of Eomer, I write about Eomer. As simple as that.

How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

GURL YOU NOT READY!

I have many wips, mostly of HP wizarding world, and probably sometime soon I will release another chapter of two halves of Draco’s broken wand and my favourite pairing there is Draco/Bill Weasley and Fred/George/Hermione and since it’s me, it’s going to be juicy as fuck. Literally.

What’s the last line you wrote?

“He’s a cuckoo”

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Draco is being blackmailed and fucked by Bill Weasley

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

M u l t i p l e

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I truly have no idea what I’m doing

Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

It depends. For Lucy I invented a whole new interest and branch of magical creatures for Lucius to be interested in and for the moment I was even sad that I am doing all this work to finish it with some porn scene.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

Rarely as I am bilingual and most of the music I listen to is English so I get distracted very easily

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Any. Sometimes I park my car on my driveway and just START WRITING

What’s your favorite time to write?

Any. No particular favourite time. But I don’t like meal time to use on writing if I really must differentiate between this or that

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

99% phone.

Do you have a writing routine?

I barely have any routines!

Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

Research yes, sometimes a lot! But for a fic? They don’t require much researching… maybe just checking if I remember something correctly or not.

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I like creating OCs based on characters from other fiction and I am not ashamed at all.

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Asking that a guy who writes hardcore gay porn from Wizarding World…

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Why not both at once?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

I hate titling!

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

I never know how to end stuff. Ever. Anything. I have to force myself to shut the fuck up.

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I don’t like POVs

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

The part when I am just a finger that clicks and my subconsciousness does everything else.

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Making sure it all makes sense! Fuck. That!

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Area of writing? As in I AM A DIALOGUE MASTER and a little bitch for remembering what the fuck did I start with

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

I won’t improve in remembering so maybe I can start making sense more…?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I can make literally anything about gay men crossdressing or women wearing high heels and sometimes I can even make them sassy. I am not proud of myself at all so whatever

How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Wips are being edited hard, especially longshots. I write, I stop, I edit two weeks later, I write and so on and it all depends on my mood.

Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Only for bigger or more serious projects and even then extremely rarely because I don’t know anyone that committed to my writing or weird enough and with so much free time

Do you take fic requests? Why or why not?

I WOULD TAKE REQUESTS ANYTIME BUT BEAR IN MIND THAT I AM NOT VERY GOOD AND YOU WILL SUFFER A LOT OF GAYNESS AND WEIRD SEX IN THEM, hit me up only if you’re ready for some hardcore porn or smut or sass

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

I never think of that

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Barely anything other than sass and heels and my own stupidity

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I am currently a fan of my short incorrect quotes, it’s my most recent and most read work on ao3.

What fic are you proudest of?

Two Halves of Draco’s broken wand maybe?

What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

WHAT IS WIP IS A WIP BECAUSE IT IS HARD FOR SOME REASON

What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Everyone would want a friend like you

What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

all of them :>

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

I honestly have no clue!

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

From a fic? I enjoy writing young Narcissa, but frankly speaking I loved writing young Lucius and adult Draco.

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I hate titling! Next question!

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Next question!

What is your favorite genre to write?

Genre… as in dialogue-based fantasy weirdness?

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

PORN

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

one type as in the one where guys that canonically don’t fuck all of the sudden do?

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

naaah

Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

my most favourite of all times character is Sam Vimes but I don’t want to write ff about him really that much

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

oh geez if you really need to think of me as a writer, please don’t read my fanfics EVER, I am writing them for fun and for fun only

How would you describe your writing style?

Funny, weird and sometimes even full of meaningful connections between the characters

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

I try to be as good as my favourite writers!

What’s the average word count of your fics?

as me if I care about the numbers again and I will start telling random things

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

maybe… blow jobs? High heels?

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

Harry/Draco!

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

well yeah, blowjobs, denial, high heels, netorare, crossdressing, getting convinced, girls knowing and getting what they want… stuff like that

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

If I had, they’d be done already

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I have no idea. Next!

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

No idea. Next!

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges? If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

not yet! I plan on getting at drarry in january 2025!

Arethere any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

The only fics that ever influenced me to write anyhow were Guarding Dark and some other fic about Sphene/Zeiat from but it was about writing more, not how

What are your favorite fics at the moment?

previously mentioned Guarding Dark, about death of Sam Vimes and dwarvish mine sign that happened afterwards. A very good fic, really a small treasure.

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

no… I am a terrible subscription reader, I never have time and I always postpone to the point I hate myself

Do you spend more time reading or writing?

lately writing, but it’s a wave

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

that someone read my book/story/fic and loved it or that it resonated with them somehow

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

that it is funny I guess

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

yeah all the shorties that got little to no hearts on tumblr, it’s always that longer one that someone didn’t read whole I presume… if it’s long I had an idea! Not always a good one, but long idea anyway

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

yeah my collection of those shortest fics is currently my most read anything on ao3 like wtf

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

there is no external pressure but internally I am in a constant state of chaos so I really have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes I feel pressure, sometimes I don’t.

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

are you kidding me? It makes me happy, it makes other people happy and it’s an act of creation so naturally I enjoy that. Also that bitch jkr did nothing to make them more interesting so I had to make a stand for them

What motivates you during the writing process?

a thought that “this will be fun”

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

just write anytime you feel like writing, if you don’t have an idea for a name or some other detail, simply put [name] or [detail] and continue and it will clarify later if the character is Clark Bones, an architect who likes tomatoes or a Roan Desmond Ruttington, a gardener who killed his mother’s lover when he was twelve and noone ever found out; never let yourself stumble on some minor details and change major things AFTER you write an entire chapters or bigger parts, really, you will thank me later. Also if you write sex, please please please remember that fucking is a machine-like activity and courting and talking about it must be witty, with a good taste and if not that, at least dont be gross and remember that there is nothing less fun than gross AND boring sex scenes.

Thank you, Kiz!

Fanfiction Writing Asks

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Where do you get your fic ideas?

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

How do you choose which fics to write?

How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

What’s the last line you wrote?

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

What’s your favorite time to write?

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Do you have a writing routine?

Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Do you take fic requests?  Why or why not?

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

What fic are you proudest of?

What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

What is your favorite genre to write?

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

How would you describe your writing style?

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

What’s the average word count of your fics?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

In [insert fic], what inspired the idea for the plot?

In [insert fic], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

If you rewrote [insert fic] now, would you change anything?

If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would happen in it?

What’s a fun fact about [insert fic]?

If a fic was titled [insert made up title], what would this story be about/how would you write it?

Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

What are your favorite fics at the moment?

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

Do you spend more time reading or writing?

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

What motivates you during the writing process?

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

[faaun]

ok let's catch up quickly

[sofargoneao3]

Can someone correct me if I'm wrong re: timeline

Autumn 1979: Lily gets pregnant & Trelawney tells Dumbledore the prophecy which Snape overhears & relays to Voldemort

Autumn/Winter 1979: Snape asks Dumbledore to hide Potters & Potters go into hiding

July 1980: Harry is born

Autumn 1980: Peter flips sides

Summer 1981: Peter attends Harry's birthday, seems down/sad

October 1981: Fidelius charm is done, Peter tells Voldemort of Potters location, Lily and James die

November 1981: Sirius goes to Azkaban

[endless-weightless]

Ford Pines x GN!reader headcanons!

I'm surprised it took me this long to get into Gravity Falls. Anyways this has both SFW and NSFW so beware. There's also a brief mention of being AFAB as a possibility but other than that it's completely gender neutral (I'm 99% sure, I didn't proofread too well lol).

SFW

Right off the bat, I’m saying he’s autistic because so am I and I said so.

If you’re someone who needs reassurance or is generally anxious/paranoid about anything he’ll go into long (often scientific) explanations to ease your mind and also throw in some fun facts.

Both a listener and a yapper. He loves nothing more than the sound of your voice but also loves being able to spout all sorts of things about his research and interests while you stare at him lovingly.

Can’t sleep unless you’re next to him. You don’t even need to be cuddling, your presence is just the one thing he needs to fall asleep.

That being said, he will NEVER pass up an opportunity to cuddle. Watching a movie? Cuddling. Working at his desk in the lab? Cuddling on his lap. Cooking something in the kitchen? He’s got his arms wrapped around you as he presses loving kisses into your temple.

He rarely swears, but when he does it always makes you do a double-take (and maybe giggle because it sounds so odd coming from him).

Probably tried weed once or twice in the '70s and was somewhat part of the psychedelic rock scene. Stan has some old photos of him during that time somewhere but Ford is absolutely mortified by the idea of you seeing him in bell-bottom jeans.

It doesn’t matter how long you two have been together, every time he sees you he feels the same as he did the day you two met. Ford will never stop becoming flustered at the sight of you.

Post-Weirdmaggedon he became very anxious at the thought of you being out alone or not being near him. He feels like he needs to be on guard at all times so that he can protect you. He eventually calms down after some reassurance from you and a fuck ton of therapy.

While he lacks some emotional intelligence he’s actually very attentive and knows exactly what you need when you’re upfront about your feelings. As long as you’re not vague and communicate, he knows what to do to help you.

Adding onto that, I think he briefly studied psychology in college so he’d have a pretty good understanding of any mental health issues you might have.

Said “No more Mr Nice Guy” one time and hasn’t heard the end of it from anyone.

NSFW

Has to stop himself from cumming too quickly when you tell him how good he’s making you feel. Stroking his ego (and other things) is the best way to get him horny.

Will always ask you for consent no matter what it is. You could be mid-fuck and he’d still ask if he could put his hands on your hips.

This is just my personal headcanon but I believe while he didn’t really have too much experience before he got stuck on the other side of the portal (probably hooked up with Fiddleford once or twice tho), I fully believe that after a few years of dimension-hopping, he would’ve had a few one-night stands (mans gotta blow off some steam). So when he gets the chance to fuck you, a real human from his dimension, he’s more than ecstatic, especially since he’s picked up more than a few tricks over the past thirty years.

Knows how to use all twelve of his fingers.

Since Ford was sucked into the portal in the early ’80s and spent thirty years in there, he’s super confused when you mention shaving down there or being embarrassed about your body hair (if you do either) since the last time he was around everyone preferred going all natural.

This one’s less sexy but I’m putting it here anyways. He avoided taking off his shirt for ages since he didn’t want you to see all the scars he’d gotten over the years or any of the tattoos related to the things he did in the portal, especially the ones related to Bill. Surprisingly not as insecure about his “Flirty Gal” tramp stamp.

Doesn’t understand that he’s ridiculously hot. 

You jokingly said “Yes sir” one time and he got hard so quickly.

Although he does rather enjoy you taking the lead.

Loves experimenting with cock warming and edging. Literally. He’ll time the both of you and have everything written down somewhere and draw a graph with extra info like if you’re someone with a menstrual cycle and how that affects the results.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hiya sex witch! i'm (afab) on the birth control pill and my bf (amab) has been also not finishing inside me when we have sex, as an extra precaution. i know neither of these are foolproof but this is how we've agreed to minimize the risk of me getting pregnant. however, i know he wants to finish inside of me really badly, and i am wondering how to best minimize the risk. i've been looking into getting a hormonal implant or using internal condoms? (condoms are off the table at the moment since they prevent my partner from reaching orgasm - and i know some people will say he's lying but i do believe him, we've tried). do you know if these methods would increase or decrease my risk of getting pregnant? and do you know why the only FDA approved internal condom is prescription-only, and if other more easily attainable ones are dangerous? thank you so much, your blog has been super helpful over the past few years for me!

hi anon,

awesome questions! thank you for your curiosity!

birth control is always more effective when you use more than one method. (note: this does not include using an external condom with an internal condom; don't do that. they'll chafe against each other and both become less effective.) if external condoms for your partner are off the table, using internal condoms with another type of birth control would be a really smart alternative.

implants and IUDs are a great option for this particular situation, since they have the highest success rate of any birth control currently available (short of sterilization or abstinence). there's no such thing as birth control that's 100% effective, but IUDs and implants are usually a pretty reliable 99. used in tandem with any type of condom, your odds of unwanted pregnancy are going to be extremely low.

okay, so, why are FC2 internal condoms so hard to get ahold of if they're so great? the extremely short version is that several years ago the company that manufactures them decided to pull the condoms from pharmacies and make them prescription-only with the justification that the Affordable Care Act would make prescription condoms cheaper for anyone with insurance, as well as expressing hope that doctors prescribing internal condoms would raise awareness of the product. FC2 does make it somewhat simple to get a prescription through their own website in theory, albeit with a consultation fee and, currently, a notification that you might be boned if you're insured through Medicaid, which I'm sure is great for expanding the accessibility of their product.

it should be noted that local health centers and LGBT resources centers are more than willing to give internal condoms out without a prescription; I know my local HIV testing site was more than happy to give out their stock of internal condoms to anyone who wanted them until they ran out. if any cis, straight person reading this is interested in pursuing this route but feels weird about potentially accessing an LGBT center when you're not part of the community: trust me, we want y'all to have safer sex, too. please, anyone and everyone, call around and check with your local resources to see if they can help you out.

as for internal condoms manufactured by other brands, I'm afraid I can't attest to their quality. I'm not saying they aren't safe, only that they haven't been subjected to FDA regulations and I lack enough information to make an informed recommendation for or against. internal condoms as a whole are still really under-researched; even in the case of FC2 condoms, for instance, there's still a real lack of data regarding their effectiveness in preventing the transmission of STIs. if you're passionate about exploring this route, I strongly recommend doing as much of your own research as possible to make the most informed decision possible to decide if other brands are the right pick for you.

[novelcain]

I meant like, the whole homophobia/transphobia thing, unless China was very accepting of enbys. Idk I don't really do history.

OOOOOOHHHH!!! Sorry I have a big dumb Skittle brain and am incapable of reading between the lines when it comes to nonverbal communication. 😅 Ok ok I did some research on this just now so I could give an accurate (as much as I can but I'm no expert for sure) answer.

And that answer is... it depends.

China has a very long history regarding sexually and its views of sex have shifted a LOT from one era to another. But for this post, we'll focus on the Tang Dynasty because that is the time period JTTW is set in (tho which time period of the Tang Dynasty is unclear)

So I'll start by saying that the Tang Dynasty was notoriously open about sex and sexual desires and homosexually was accepted in ancient but only in certain situations. Usually homosexuality or simply non-straight behavior was only accepted and allowed within the upper class. For example most if not all (I'm not too sure) Chinese emperors had several male lovers and they didn't hide it as it was often revered with great admiration.

NOW as far as gender orientation goes. This would HIGHLY depend on the person and their beliefs as during this period China was dominated by 2 religions Taoism and Buddhism.

Taoism was the official religion of the Tang Dynasty and states that nature is perfect as is and by proxy some believe that would mean they view transgenderism as a flaw of nature while most Taoists themselves do not view transgenderism negatively as the Tao is pretty unconcerned with identity and focuses on virtue and coming to accept things as they were born in nature. Therefore I think the only thing that would even remotely be said against transgenderism from a Taoist standpoint is that you shouldn't feel the need to change your body to reflect your mind. Conclusion: ancient Taoism would likely accept transgenderism so long as you don't pursue gender affirming surgery.

Now while the official religion of China at the time was Taoism, many emperors highly favored Buddhism and that can even be believed of the emperor described in JTTW.

That being said. Buddhism believes that the body is a cage that traps the spirit in suffering and should therefore be distanced from as much as possible. HOWEVER! The Buddha himself said that while you should try to separate yourself from the Earthly Realm one's body should be used as a tool of awakening, and given that awakening in to find Nirvana, one could argue that pursuing your gender identity is simply using your body to reflect your soul and therefore is good. But honestly Buddhists are pretty chill and as long as you ain't hurting anyone or anything I HIGHLY doubt a true Buddhist would care what you do so long as you live amicably. Conclusion: transgenderism would likely be cool with about 99% of Buddhists even in ancient China.

Overall conclusion: MOST people probably wouldn't care, though these are ancient times, so I'd really read the room before offering any info about being gender nonconforming or nonbinary. Having said that, the worst thing you'd have to do is pretend to be whatever gender you most closely resemble. But honestly I think a lot about how it'd be best to pretend to be a man when traveling as they are much less likely to be attacked, assaulted, or hate crimed.

So again, in situations like these you need to be flexible and willing to present as something you aren't. And while that can be hard, I feel like dying via whatever brutal death an extreme transphobe can think of is a lot harder. So if you play your cards right the most a nonbinary reader would get is probably some nasty comments and a few even nastier looks. Tho both could easily be corrected by Tripitaka explaining they shouldn't do that and that isn't what Buddhism believes if the person is a Buddhist and if that doesn't work or they aren't Buddhist then a few sharp glares from the Great Sage Equal to Heaven should be more than enough to get them to knock it the fuck off. Tho if you're good at talking people over to your side then they probably wouldn't even need to step in.

As for how the group would take it, I think they'd all accept it rather quickly after you explain what being enby is with maybe the exception of Bajie who just truly doesn't understand so you'd just have to explain the concept of other genders to him a few times.

I hope this answers your question at least somewhat 😊

[earnmoneywithshaan]

Top 5 US Stocks to buy for Long Term | 2023

Hey Everyone . So , Today In this Article We Are Going To Talk About the Top 5 US Stocks For Long Term . The Shares Which I will Tell You Today Are the Best Us Stocks That Will Definitely Gives You Profit . So , Don't Just Invest By Reading My Article , You Can Invest But Try To Gain Some Knowledge about The Company . So Let's Begin The Topic :

TOP 5 US STOCKS TO BUY FOR LONG TERM :

NO 1 . APPLE

NO 2 . AMAZON.COM

NO 3 . TESLA

NO 4 . MICROSOFT CORPORATION

NO 5 . VISA

WHY I PICKED THESE 5 STOCKS ?

APPLE :

The Apple Stock Price Is Continuously Rising . If You will Checks the Last 6 Month Result You Will See That It Has Rise from $159 To $174 Approx $16 Rise In Just Last 6 Month And That's a Good Thing . Apple Stock Price Rises Every Year Because Of Company Value As It Bring Amazing Phone With Amazing Features .

If You See 1 Year Back The Price Of Apple Stock Was $125 And Now Currently It's $174 and Soon It Will Reach $200 . I Recommend you To Invest In This Stock Because it Will Give You a Huge Profit In Future ...

AMAZON.COM :

Everybody Knows Amazon Right ? . So , Currently The Price Of Amazon Is Falling And It's a Great Opportunity To Buy The Stock In Low Price . What You Think Amazon Price will Not Rise ? . As We The Technology Is Rapidly Growing and Everyone Is Busy In Their Life . So , In Future You Will See a Huge Rise in Amazon Stock Because Of The Rise In Population And Everybody Wants The Thing Just by Sitting Instead Of Going Out And Purchasing It ...

So , Currently The Price of Amazon Stock is $129 . If You will See It's Chart To Google You will Find That It's Price is Falling From Last 1 Month . So , I 100% Recommend You To Buy This Stock And In Last 1 Year it Has Rise From $114 to $129 . I know It's Not a Huge Rise in Price But In Future It Will Be On the Top .

TESLA :

Who Don't Know Elon Musk . The Richest Person in the World And the Owner Of Spacex And Tesla . Tesla Stock Price is Falling From Last 20-25 Days . On 18 September 2023 The Stock Price Was $271 And Now It's $241 . What a Huge Fall in Tesla Stock Price . Many People Will Sell It Because the Price Is Falling But The Intelligent Investor's Will Buy It Right Now Because the Price has Fallen .

The Last Year Company Was in Loss And The Share Price Went Down Approx $50 in a Year . See , As You Know The Petrol Cars will Be Getting Banned In Future Because Of So Much Pollution and ELECTRIC CAR OF ELECTRIC VEHICLE Are Launched . So , it's 99% Confirmed that The Price Of Tesla Will Increase In Future .

MICROSOFT CORPORATION :

Microsoft Corporation Is a Huge and Oldest Company And Currently It's Price Is Also Falling From Last 1 Month It Has Fall About $10 in The Last 1 Month . The Current Stock Price is $317 .

But In The Last 6 Months It Has Rise About $40 and It's a Good Rise in Price And In Last 1 Year It Has Rise About $80 . That's a Huge Rise in Price . Imagine This Is The Price Of One Stock And If You Have Hundreds or Thousands of Stocks It Will Make You Rich In Future .

VISA :

The Stock Price Of Visa Is Also Falling From Last 1 Month . It has Fallen About $7 Last Month . The Current Stock Price is $235 And May Be It Will Rise In Future . I am Saying This Because Of It's Company Performance In Last Year . But I Recommend You To Buy It For Atleast 4 - 5 Years . Hold Your Stock For 4 - 5 Year's And Then It Will Give You a Good Profit .

So , These are the Top 5 US Stocks For Long Term . Please Remember We Don't Have Any Exact Information That It Will 100% Rise . We Say This By Analysing The Market And The Performance Of The Company In Last Few Years . So , Invest At Your Risk .

But Yes , According To Our Research We are Sure That in 4 - 5 Year's The Price of These Stocks Will Go Very High .

Thanks For Reading ...

Earn Money With Shaan

[lowpolywizard]

Shitfit #1 - Lack of female voices in ARGs/unfiction/online horror series

I watched this documentary yesterday, which I highly recommend if you’re interested in these topics. Anyways, one thing I noticed that really irked me is the lack of female creators in the horror space online. I was talking to someone on Reddit after I posted there asking about female creator recommendations, and while yes, I agreed with them that gender doesn’t matter when a created product is good, that doesn’t change the fact that I feel underrepresented. This isn’t just a YouTube problem, it’s a problem in the entire horror genre. In my research on horror, I found this article on women in cinematic horror. While I do think a lot of the problems with the lack of diverse voices in online horror overlap with cinematic horror, I still have a feeling that it still doesn’t line up. The Internet is much more accessible. In the documentary mentioned above, it is said that the over-saturation of analog horror is because of how easy it is to make. Anyone with an iPhone can make something. I ask then, where are my ladies at? Surely not every woman interested in horror is as lame as me and simply lacks motivation and self-discipline. I only need one hand to count online horror creators I know of that are women. I thought that was my fault, I used to be really bad for only consuming content made by men for internal misogynistic reasons, but I’ve outgrown that. I am actively looking for female creators! When I asked Reddit, I got null. Not even other members of the community can think of any. Now I do know that this is partially caused by the anonymity usually involved in ARG/unfiction/online horror. The creators usually pretend they’re a character who’s “found a tape” or whatever. But come on. I’m going crazy here and don’t know what to do about it.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Well, you said that you don’t care who makes someone as long as the product is good!” This is true. I don’t really know how to explain the yearning I feel. The creator and their identity do influence the content. Women’s roles in online horror are usually reduced to acting, which is fine! Acting is super cool and I have seen some really good voice acting in horror series, but that’s the same problem cinematic horror has. We get a lot of horror movies about women but directed by men. LAME! Yawn. There are things about women that I feel could make bomb-ass horror content. For example, a lot of analog horror is about the horror of your reality being undermined, which like 99% of the time is represented by the government lying to you or an evil force using the TV to subliminally influence you. Bestie that actually happens! Go watch a cleaning product commercial compilation and the lead role in that commercial is going to be a woman, because cleaning is all we do, apparently. Shit like that is everywhere. Look at ads for make-up in any time period. Woman’s issues and the shit forced upon them are so underutilized in the online horror community. The fact that it’s a “funny joke” online right now to comment on the colour of a woman’s clit? That you can find comments like that on posts of newborns or little girls? That we’re powerless to stop it and it will continue no matter what we want? That’s pretty scary! If you think I have gotten away from my original point, you’re wrong. What I am saying is that there are many underutilized real horrors to be inspired from, and it would be nice to see issues I and other women face in online horror, and more female creators in general. This post is only touching the surface of under-representation in online horror, there sadly is not a lot of diversity. 

If you have any recommendations, give me them. If you are hesitant about creating online horror, don’t be. I will eat that shit up! Thanks.

[sibyl-of-space]

Troubleshooting & repair of an old camcorder - or rather, its AC adapter - installment 2

installment 1

Camcorder: Canon ES8400V 8mm VIDEO CAMCORDER

I am still focused on trying to troubleshoot its power supply, which is not putting out enough voltage to charge it (meter is measuring 5V out). Honestly it's been an interesting rabbit hole.

I've done a lot more research and at least now understand much more about the different stuff on the circuit board and what it's doing.

I learned that this is a switch mode power supply by looking up one of the labeled components on the board, that black thing in the very middle of this picture you can barely see:

From which I could just BARELY make out "5MO265R", bringing me to its data sheet here: https://www.alldatasheet.com/datasheet-pdf/pdf/53246/FAIRCHILD/5M0265R.html

Once I knew that much I was able to search with the keywords "Fairchild power switch" and eventually found my way to a really informative video on these kinds of power supplies that use switches:

From watching this video and also looking up some info sheets, I think I have more or less identified most of the parts on this circuit board and what they are doing.

Note: ok I made it confusing by labeling 2 inductors here. The "Inductor!" in the middle is the big important thing that is doing 99% of the work in this circuit, and almost everything else is either controlling what goes into it or what comes out of it. In the upper right there is a second inductor and that is a tiny little thing that is, as I understand it, just further evening out what's coming from the first 2 output capacitors before it goes through one more and leaves the circuit.

Additional note: that bigass capacitor can hold a bigass charge, tread carefully. Per the resource I was looking at previously:

Do not touch any parts of the internal circuitry when plugged in and make sure the large filter capacitor is discharged (test with a voltmeter) before touching or doing any work on the circuit board.

There's also stuff on the back, mostly resistors, and I sort of kind of understand vaguely what they're doing based on the video but won't pretend to be an expert.

At any rate, it turns out that after all this reading, the most reasonable first step is...

...still to replace those 2 dead capacitors.

This was my initial plan based on just vibes and 0 idea what I was doing, but turns out it's actually a good idea. Those capacitors help store what comes from the inductor before it gets output, so if they're dead they could definitely be why it's not outputting what it's supposed to. It could definitely be more things than just that, but it's a good place to start.

Especially since the capacitors are meant to smooth out fluctuations in this power supply, and I'm using a digital multimeter, which shows averages and not peaks. It could very well be peaking where it's supposed to but the average is showing ~5V because the capacitors that help smooth out the signal are dead.

So, my homework is:

Buy a 16V 1000µF and a 16V 470µF capacitor

Wait for them to come in (hardest part)

Whip out the ole' soldering iron and replace the dead output capacitors on this board

Test the new output voltage!

If it's not what it's supposed to be, I have to decide whether to continue down this rabbit hole or just buy a new AC adapter.

If it IS what it's supposed to be, then I get to see if that actually charges the camcorder or not.

Updates when those babies come in!

[subjectively-objective]

Arcana 99 - Ch. 2

A Technological Impossibility

What is this? Next

Of course, I had heard of the Grenfell-Maxwell Marathon. I tried my best to ignore the relentless ads, but they were well, relentless. Go to the theater? “In the news, the Grenfell-Maxwell Marathon promises to be the greatest event in history, bringing. . .” Read the paper? “Cash prizes will be provided to anyone who finishes. . .” Watch television? “Now a word from our sponsor, Mr. Grenfell and his wonderful race around the world! Have you ever dreamed of. . .” Go to a play?

PRINCE: “A glooming peace this morning with it brings; “The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head: “Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; “Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished: “For never was a story of more woe “Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

CAPULET: "May they be pardon’d first, and forgiven; “For how could their eyes have seen; “That every last of their wishes could be granted anon; “If they but won the Grenfell-Maxwell Marathon.”

Luckily for the actors, Romeo et. al was hardly Shakespeare's best work; frankly, it's his worst. I was only even there to mock the people going to the most mainstream Shakespearean play and still not being capable of understanding the words. As if I could understand that nonsense without help. If it had been Hamlet, though, the theater and the actors within would not be standing today.

Over the course of several months, I had unwillingly learned everything about the stupid marathon, but only one point interested me, the promise of a wish. I am a skeptic at heart, so I waited for proof to surface, and surprisingly, it did. Wishes were granted to a trio of randomly chosen volunteers. I watched the televised wish-granting hundreds of times, and through that research and some divination, I discovered that the wishes were truly granted to truly random people. Grenfell was legit. Well, as legit as a stranger claiming to have magical abilities could be.

It took a few days for me to fully decide on it, but in the end, I found myself in the Bonneville Salt Flats. If I couldn’t learn about magic at home, then Grenfell’s wish, or he himself, would have to suffice.

I signed in one hour before the race and was left to find my own starting position. There wasn’t a strict grid for starting positions, you only had to be behind the starting line, so I tried to find a good shady place for Zippy before the race started. There was obviously little in the way of shade in the salt flats, but I quickly noticed a plane towering over the cars dotted around it. I made my way towards it and let Zippy rest in the shadow of the plane’s wing.

Half an hour of meditation passed and ended when a woman spoke to me about where my teammate was, “He’s right here,” I said, patting my horse for emphasis.

The woman sighed, “Any mode of transportation is allowed, but animals cannot count as a teammate. You need a human partner.”

“What? I read the rules, and it only said that I needed a teammate, not a human teammate.”

She sighed again, considering how often she did it, she was either an expert or a hobbyist, “It was implied. Heavily implied. If you can’t find a partner in-”

I cut her off, I already knew what she was going to say, “Just sign me to be partnered with the next person without a team, and please, do it quickly, I have to make sure my horse is ready to run.” It didn’t matter how much dead weight my partner was, I would be more than capable of carrying them on my back.

The woman left with a final showcase of her favored action, and I started brushing Zippy. Less than a minute passed before a stranger interrupted me, “I’m Nerio, your new teammate.” I responded in turn and held out my hand.

“France?” He responded and extended his arm. I tried to initiate the handshake, but he had brought out the wrong arm. I had extended my right, and he his left.

Really? He’s going to do this stupid power move to make me change my hand when he’s the one who sent out the wrong one?

I looked at our mismatched arms, then at him. I needed to make it as obvious as possible that I knew what game he wanted to play and that I was not going to play it, so after a moment I looked at his right arm. All I could see was the empty sleeve of his jacket. We shook left hands.

“Actually, I’m from Australia. The French name is just a. . . thing,” I said, desperately trying to alleviate the tension I had made without admitting my mistake with an apology, “You?”

“Greece,” He was certainly good at moving on.

“Huh, I thought that name was Italian,” I said as I glanced to the sky. Judging from the position of the Sun it was 11:58, “We’ve got two minutes left, get on.”

“I was going to say the same thing,” He pointed to a motorcycle behind him.

Could you even steer a motorcycle with one arm?

I laughed, perhaps more than I should, and pointed out the obvious flaws with his vehicle. It could only last as long as he had gas, and he had brought no extra gas.

He marched back to his vehicle and said, “If you said that about any other bike, I’d agree with you, but mine is different. Your horse on the other hand. . . It may not need gas, but a horse just cannot compete with a machine, no matter how good the rider is.”

I am going to love every second of proving you wrong, no matter how right you should be.

I mounted my horse to hide the smile I was certain had appeared. Despite being a minute away from destroying his worldview, I couldn’t wait to begin, “If you said that about any other horse, I’d agree with you, but we are different.”

A shadow covered drifted over me and my horse. Looking up, I saw a grey shape floating in the sky. I had heard that someone was going to use a zeppelin in the race, but I thought it was hyperbole. From where I was, it looked tiny, but the vessel was still a quarter-mile long and just silently floating as if it could just ignore gravity. Truly the closest they ever got to true magic.

A voice filled the canyon and brought my admiration to an end. The race had started. The ground came alive as hundreds of thousands of cars screamed to action and fought for dominance. I could barely see beyond my horse due to the dust kicked up by millions of tires. I urged my horse on, and as expected I quickly fell behind the other vehicles, but it was only temporary. I wiped a drop of sweat from my brow, placed it upon my horse’s back, and placed both my hands above it.

Arcana Fourteen: Enhancement, speed and endurance.

Aided by my magic, Zippy launched through the dust cloud and past the sea of vehicles spread out before me. A moment later I broke through the ocean of dust and saw the open world before me; however, I couldn’t appreciate the scenery as both ground and sky became a blur. I had already traveled ten miles, and Zippy was beginning to tire. I placed the index and middle fingers of both my hands on either side of my horse.

Arcana Thirteen: Revitalization.

The horse's breathing calmed, and he resumed his speed. I looked at the people behind me, hoping to catch a glimpse of my teammate trailing behind.

I won’t see him, probably because he is losing ground right this second. I can’t go too far ahead though, I still need to pick him up when he realizes my horse is leagues above whatever assembly-line trash he’s riding.

Despite my negative thoughts towards his vehicle’s ability to compete, I saw him just fine. Not only had he broken ahead of the pack, but he had also caught up to me to the point that I could see his empty sleeve flapping in the wind, a triumphant standard declaring his victory over all those behind him, and his desire to add me to the long list. Seeing that he was clearly no relative of mine, he shouldn’t have any magic within him. That meant that his speed was purely mechanical. I drew a circle on my palm and faced it into the wind.

Arcana Three: Communication.

The wind told me that I was going ninety-four miles per hour, yet he was still gaining on me.

Nothing should be able to compete with the arcane except the arcane. Yet. . .

To say that this stranger being able to effortlessly keep up with the world’s greatest magician hurt my pride would be completely ignoring just how much it pissed me off. I pushed my horse a little harder (and used the thirteenth arcana again just to be sure). The wind said I was topping one-hundred thirty miles per hour, well beyond what any ordinary motorcycle could go even temporarily. This speed was unsustainable, but I only needed to keep it up until I reached the edge of the salt flats; I only needed to keep it up until I proved him inferior. I glanced behind myself to see his shrinking form, except it was growing.

Just how powerful is his damn motorcycle?

The current record for a two-wheeled vehicle is barely any faster than what we’re going, and that bike could hardly be called a motorcycle. It had a smooth shell built around it. A vehicle that can cut through the air like that at that speed without such a shell is impossible even less so one that can be driven with one arm. The easy explanation is magic, but I’m the only one on the planet. At least, the only one of consequence. So, who is he that has that impossible machine that can rival the very forces of. . . whatever forces drive magic?

He is Nerio Pinkerton, and this race is how he regained his humanity.

Next

[cloudstrife-bbs]

In my spiritual journeys to realms beyond the physical plane, through my haze of abject grief in losing SoCo and Applejack, Cloud came to me. I created this art last summer. Originally, I colored this picture as a black and tan German Shepherd to match my NintenDog I had been taking care of in order to feel comforted. But, something happened. It was like the haze lifted and there he was. I would do everything I could to work my will into the Universe and bring Cloud to life. I had done it once before with Applejack, and I swore I could do it again.

For months, I had been researching the breed to make sure it was the right call, looking at breeders all over the country. I was straight up ignored by so many of them, and I still can't understand why. It discouraged me, and for a while, I gave up. My heart was broken. I cried a LOT. But, now I understand.

I had some immediate health problems, and also, the Universe was guiding me to where I needed to be. I nearly died in the emergency room, holding my husband's hand. When my health returned after two months of bed rest and recovery, and I was no longer in danger of losing my life, only a few days later, I finally found The One.

I found a new Berger Blanc Suisse breeder, not too far away from me, who interviewed me and really liked me. Her dam's puppies are literally going to be born any day now and she assured me that she's "99% sure she will have one for me". This is her first litter she's ever bred, and I have absolute faith that she's going to do a great job.

The breeder and her dogs are putting in a tremendous amount of work, and for that I will be forever grateful. She's creating my baby for me. (I will never not see my dogs as my furry children.) Her passion for dogs is going to make such a tremendous difference in my life, and it's a big change, and a challenge, that I'm so ready for. I literally cannot thank this woman enough for doing this.

My mental and physical strength are increasing with every passing day. I'm keeping an eye on my health.

My little boy, Cloud, is coming. Nothing can stop me because there is a loving bond I have made with this dog that I have forged through the grace and balance of the Universe. I have a singular purpose, and that is to love my husband and to love this darling creature we raise together with every ounce of my heart and soul.

The day he is put into my arms and I put on his collar for the first time, I am physically creating a covenant with him that I will forever love and cherish him, that I will take care of him every day of his life, and that I will stand by my promise to him and to SoCo and Applejack that I will always do what's best for him. That I will do better every single second of our lives together.

And when the time inevitably comes, I will release him from our covenant back to the world of Spirits to join the rest of my Guides and Protectors.

I love you, Cloud. So much. Mommy and Daddy can't wait to meet you.

Thank you, SoCo and Applejack. We miss you so much.

[percontaion-points]

The Chemist chapter 9

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 9

She decided to wake Daniel up. Once Batman came around—which he probably would in about fifteen minutes or so—the conversation was not going to be very genteel. She wanted a chance to explain—and apologize— before the shrieking and the death threats started. 

The fact that she didn’t flee is giving “99 cents short of a dollar”. Kevin all but told her that she’d been set up, and it was also something that she acknowledged too. 

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU STAY?!

“Now will you tell me what happened to your face? Did you have an accident?” 

Again with the concern. “No. My injures are related to that new information I mentioned.” She wasn’t sure how to break it to him. 

Sudden indignation. His shoulders tensed. “Somebody did that to you— on purpose? For hurting me?”

Holy fucking shit dude. The lady tortured you. I don’t care what she said during her apology, SHE FUCKING TORTURED YOU. 

I’m all in favour of nice guys. After reading an endless string of billionaire romances, it’s nice that somebody doesn’t take one look at Julie and say “Hey baby, I’m going to sexually assault you. And you’re going to like it because I’m hot. And also rich.”

But holy fucking shit. Daniel is going around and he’s flat out stupid about how nice he is. 

Alex suppressed a sigh, upset with herself for not worrying more about the file’s gaps in information, for not taking the time to find a faraway library where she could have safely searched all Daniel’s family connections. 

It’s this, but also the fact that she got the files, and then grabbed Daniel two days later. Like you literally never thought to look into literally ANY of this?

“I would say I was smarter, but I made some pretty huge mistakes in my security here. I think I was just luckier this time.”

No fucking shit. She had such huge, gaping holes that I could have waltzed into her little set-up. Me, an unathletic civilian with no training whatsoever. 

Was it safe to go back to her most recent home, the place she’d been living when Carston had contacted her? It would certainly be easiest. There was food there, and no one would have to see her face for as long as it took to look normal again. She didn’t think she’d compromised the house… 

But then what? How much of her nest egg had she blown through for this stupid trap? How long would she be able to keep going on what she had? 

Man, forget the house, forget the job, forget the money. The department tried to set you up… AGAIN. 

Exactly how long is it going to take for it to sink in that the department wants her dead? 

Girl, you willingly walked into an obvious set-up with that… What number did she use again? Oh right… THREE GODDAMNED PERCENT THAT IT WASN’T A TRAP. 

“But I think your brother can probably fill you in on the details. I imagine he’s better at hiding than I am.” 

Bitch, I’m fucking better at hiding than you are. AND YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SPY HERE. 

“Are you kidding me? That psychopath tortured you.” 

“Not for very long. And she only did it because—” 

“Are you defending that—”

Finally, some goddamned common sense!

“You’re the one who pulled Danny into this—”

She literally told him that the mystery agency she works for handed her a file on Daniel and all but told her “Take care of this.” 

“So what does it matter? I died. Danny shouldn’t be a target anymore.”

The fact that you are here should have been a huge tip that it isn’t true. 

“You’re a problem for the CIA. I’m a problem for my department. At the top, the people involved in both our former workplaces are pretty tight. So they offer me a deal: ‘Do a job for us, and we’ll call off the hunt.’ They must have had it worked out pretty solidly before they contacted me. Fixed the files, got ready to feed me the crisis story I can’t turn my back on.”

Again, 100% of this could have been avoided if Julie hadn’t been so stupid and in a rush. If she’d spent literally any amount of time researching, she would have realised that it was actually a trap. 

There was a sudden earsplitting noise—an explosive fragmenting of wood. And then the enraged snarling got a lot closer.

Chapter 9 summary: Julie wakes up from her little catnap, and wakes Daniel up. She then apologises to him for having KIDNAPPED AND TORTURED HIM. He’s like “Ah, what’s a little torture?” The entire thing is maddening; Julie has no idea why he’s so goddamned nice, but tries to chalk it up to the drug she initially injected him with. (I’m not convinced.) 

Daniel is more upset when Julie reveals that Kevin is still alive. The two of them talk for several pages about stuff that I literally can’t remember, even moments after finishing the chapter. When Kevin wakes up, Daniel chews his brother out for having lied to him about his job (he wasn’t a drug dealer), where he was (not in prison lol), and then having faked his own death. Again, Daniel is way more upset about Kevin than the goddamned TORTURE. 

Julie then points out that obviously Kevin did a botched job of faking his own death. That’s what led to this situation. That both agencies got together and decided that no matter what happened in this situation, that one of their problems would be taken care of. She offers to write to her agency to tell them that she killed Kevin. That way, Kevin and Daniel can go back to whatever they were doing before all of this. 

At the end of the chapter, the dog breaks out from the room Julie locked him in. 

[mlmxreader]

Hiya! I hope you're doing alright my sweet and lovely author 🖤.

Listen.... about the geese .... all I can say is that over here, right, they are fully breed different. Like you look in their general direction and they will come at you. Basically, the geese own the streets 😂, we're just here.

That playlist. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am freaking crying!!! UnRELATED reasons, eh? Fully believe you, my friend, FULLY believe you 😂.

OMG!! I know right?!?!? Yes with the facial hair! Like Margate Alfie had that little tuft of graying in his beard and I was like .... 😶👀👀👁👁😳. That plus the scar on his face .... 😳😳🫠 fucking made an already unbelievably hot man even fucking hotter. I absolutely can not. When they gave us that side profile, I was fully deceased. And I totally did not re-wind the video and pause it on him.... not at all.

Pictures of the Screaming Eagles!! The BABIES!! They are so bloody adorable! Look at their little eyes and also, they're so photogenic. They are full on posing in those pictures like they know they're absolutely beautiful and yes of course you should be photographing them. And they also have the cutest names. Like Gallipoli?? The bestest little girl 😫🖤🖤🖤

But yeah, you should absolutely watch the entirety of the Bourne film series ... you know, for your research purposes 👀. (I'm not on the Matt Damon train but I can fully goad your obsession of him, lmao, that's what friends are for, right 😂?)

Anyways, talk to ya later! (Also, I don't know if you saw or not, but last night I think I sent like 14 requests so.... apologies 🙈 but I regret nothing)

🖤🖤🖤

🐍anon

good evening!!!! I've had quite a nice day tbf, I can't lie - work was alright, and I've got a couple of days off coming up soon, too, so that's good! as much as I enjoy working w animals, I gotta admit: it's been quite difficult to do it when I've got a busted ankle that I haven't and won't tell my boss about 😅

listen..... at least it ain't swans. those buggers are fucking vile when they wanna be, whereas geese you fuckin know where they stand immediately. like, within a second of being in a goose's presence, you KNOW where it stands w you - and at least they ain't trying to nick chips from Tesco's like seagulls do! so there's a silver lining shgksjfkskf

UNRELATED REASONS!!! COMPLETELY UNRELATED!!! although in seriousness I do like Sir Mix A Lot as it is... but at least I didn't admit that I think about them whenever I listen to Good Lookin' and Like Whiskey by Dixon Dallas. at least there is that... BUT THE SIR MIX A LOT WASN'T RELATED TO MATT DAMON OR TOM HARDY AT ALL. absolutely not. nope. definitely wasn't looking at pics of them whilst listening. nope. not me.

The Screaming Eagles are, indeed, baby. VERY baby. tbf to all of em (Ace especially bc he's not the most laid back of snakes), they are very tolerant of having their pictures taken and of me, like, getting quite close to take decent pictures. but so far, we got Kaiju (albino checkered garter snake), Der Rote Kampfflieger/Der Kapitän/Manfred/Red Baron (male ball python), Special Agent Fox Mulder (corn snake), Ace Janoušek (bullsnake) & Baroness Gallipoli (female ball python) - even though, for some reason, some people can't tell Red Baron and Gallipoli apart even though they're completely different animals w completely different personalities (Gallipoli, for example, does not tolerate being cradled like a baby, she will just slither around my neck and chill there. Red Baron, on the other hand, will gladly accept being carried and cradled like a baby).

the Bourne series has never particularly interested me, like, I like James Bond but it's just never jumped out at me, but then like.... Matt Damon looks kinda hot in the series,,,, so maybe I should... maybe. I mean, I watched The Martian even though it's not My Thing, and I wasn't disappointed dncksmfksk (do not ask me for plot details). I'm 99% sure this is Christopher Nolan's fault tho, bc I have NEVER found Matt Damon attractive... and then Nolan put him in Oppenheimer w his almost-but-not-quite pornstache, that slutty uniform, and the whole "would absolutely wreck me but I'd thank him" vibe and now I'm like... actually-

so there's ONE bit of propaganda that Nolan got me with.

anyways! I'll talk to you later, the time is currently 2243, so I will (likely) get to writing at some point soon, and bc I'm dog sitting later, I can write some more then as well bc I won't have anything better to do tbh.

have a great morning/afternoon/evening!!! 🫶🏻

[corpsegold]

ok so I started this therapy thing. And she got me to fill out one of those questionnaires like depression and anxiety. And she was like ok so what are your main problems then. And I thought to myself, idk, I was expecting you to tell me that? I went with social anxiety, because I’m coming out of a heavy drinking phase and drinking is the most obvious problem with my mental right now, and because afaict drinking is bc of social anxiety. She looked at the results and pointed out that actually I’m not that anxious at all and I wasn't drunk talking to her. I haven't been drinking much at all recently. Part of it is because my mood has shifted, but also I’ve run out of money. I left thinking about how actually its not social anxiety and that drinking probably started that way and then became about low mood, because its much worse in the winter. But I know that depression isn't the root of my problem. I have a strong hunch that there's something deeper that's wrong with me. I have this feeling that I actually WANT to be mentally ill. I don't think I'm actively trying to be, I think most of my mentally ill behaviour like drinking and being depressed are legit, but I don't think they stand on their own compared to other people with those problems. I can see from some of my reactions to things that have happened and been said to me that I’m eager to get labels, whatever they may be (some very much more than others I have realized) and given how I’m quick to take up and abandon various “ill behaviours” whilst voraciously researching them and the people who have them, probably none of it is genuinely legit as its own standalone problem. Recently whilst sobering up from drinking I had another realization which thankfully I can’t remember most of but it really got me down. Its something I’ve realized a few times before over the years but I kind of block it out? I’m not 100% sure, but I have this hunch. 

I basically realized how my problem isn't social anxiety, its being rejected. Its the reflection of failure. Its having to experience my failure and shortcomings and not have a buffer or a shield or an excuse. I’m starting to think that the reason I cant engage with hobbies, the reason I cant stand being around people, the reason I push friends away, the reason I have never gotten into a romantic relationship isn't because of strictly being paranoid (I’m not really that paranoid 99% of the time), or anxiety, or drinking. Its just all about being completely terrified of failure and unable to cope with it.

I avoid interacting bc its usually negative and I hate myself for it. I avoid relationships because I don't think I have the personality or skillset for it and it would blow up in my face and I’d have to actually face my shortcomings and I don't know if I would actually survive that long term.

I avoid my interests that are skill based because I will probably cry and panic when I’m not immediately good at it. I avoid making things because I can’t cope with not being as good at it as I imagine I am (or was). I collect disordered behaviours of all kinds and constantly make a hobby of thinking of myself as suffering from various mental illnesses because I want an excuse. I want to not be to blame for how I’ve destroyed my life and caused destruction to others. I want to be able to feel like life just dealt me a shit hand and its everyone else’s fault that this has happened.

Like don’t get me wrong I know I suck at lots of things. I know I can be a huge cunt. I don't want to be, but only because I want people to like me. I only have empathy for a handful of people, and its because I fear not being worthy of them or that they might hate me when I neglect or am insensitive to them. I’m very bitter about things my parents have done when they have actually sacrificed a great deal for me. I find it hard to feel grateful to them because I feel like I deserved that and more. Many of the things I’ve done that have upset or hurt other people make me feel guilty and ashamed but to be honest? I think its mostly because it reflects badly on me as a person, not because they're in pain. A lot of the time, anyway. There are times where I’ve definitely had some empathy, for a set group of people (that I’ve known a long time).

but for all I can admit that I suck at things, I struggle to actually accept that its entirely my fault or the result of my decisions. I want that responsibility to be taken off my shoulders. I want to be told that I’m not actually at fault or that I can help it. 

I think in the end I guess I want to be told I’m allowed to act this way?

I think about how my mood can flip flop- but really its not in the style of bipolar. I don't fit the criteria. Its just about self esteem. I go from feeling like I’m hot shit, fucking brilliant, “get out of my way before I run you over I’m the best at this and you can’t see it yet” because of some minor success or recognition, and then next thing I know I have some perceived (real or actual) small or large failure and I get completely distraught over it and start thinking I don't deserve to live.

What I actually should say to this woman in this therapy, is that my goal is to be extremely successful, and to be liked and respected by everyone I meet. I’d take just being wildly successful (fat fucking chance), but really I want both. I’d say I want to be loved and happy, but that actually I’m not sure I know what that feels like or if I’m capable of feeling it. I’d say that honestly, I think I’d rather be worshipped, if I could stand it without hating myself. I think the fact that I’m too scared to risk seeing that those things don't come naturally to me, or that I don't know how to secure them, is what makes me depressed and causes me to drink, or find ways to numb or distract myself, like using mental illness as a hobby. It’s what drove me to shagging over a hundred men in a few years (seeing how many I could fit in solo sessions in a week - the answer is 10 a few times over), its why I failed my degree (by not turning up), its why I feel shame when people bring up my treating them unfairly- but when they don't, and I think about it, I don't actually care, or I readily come up with a barrage of excuses. Because I want to think its not actually my fault and that I deserve it, or that its fine because one day I’ll be wildly successful and I’ll pay everyone back so I wont ever have to think about it or them again.

I learnt my lesson about self diagnosing. Its not about what I want to be told is wrong with me. I don't really understand the diagnostic language and I’m not qualified so its actively harmful to read deeper into it other than having a basic awareness at least at this stage. I do however have a strong hunch about what might be the root of my problems. Its why I doubt that I’m actually mentally ill, even though I might act like it. Its why I think I’m actually just a shit person. 

I want to be better and I don’t know how. I want to be nice to people. I want people to like me and I want to have successful relationships. I don't want to feel like a failure.

But yeah. I have a hunch. Its just a hunch. Its embarrassing and I don't know how I’ll handle it when they figure it out. I can’t hide it by throwing behaviours or symptoms in their face of other things. I can tell that they see through it and that something’s fishy with me. And I know I do genuinely experience these problems- like depression and drinking, but they're symptomatic of something deeper. I hope that the fact that I can recognize this sometimes means that there’s hope or that I’m wrong about this too. 

I dont know how to meaningfully apologize to people for being like this. 

My gut reaction when I start to think about how I’ll feel when I find out is anger towards my parents for taking my future away from me. That kind of confirms it in my book.

[bethhiraeth]

Surviving High School English- A Guide

We've all been there: It's the night before your essay is due and you haven't even cracked open the book. You are staring down at a blank word document.

English can be a very hard subject, particularly if you are taking it at advanced levels such as IB or AP. English happens to be my favourite subject, so I thought I share a secret:

99% of English is bullshit.

So, I suppose this post is simply a guide to bullshitting effectively. I am going to focus on English, but it can be applied to other humanities subjects like history as well.

Sparknotes and LitCharts are your best friends.

I get it. Reading is hard. I personally love to read, and always try my best to reads the books for class, but I get that that is sometimes not possible. So just jump onto Sparknotes or LitCharts. Both have full summaries of most classic books, and a lot of popular contemporary books that are used in schools. The page for each book also has chapter-by-chapter summaries, character breakdowns, analyses of major themes and motifs, and even essay ideas.

Seriously. Use them.

2. Audiobooks

I love audiobooks. I get at least half my reading done through them. I like using Audible the best (no affiliate link. I just love it!). You can get your first audiobook free, and they have a whole catalogue of books that are included if you are a member. Seriously, normalise audiobooks. They have saved my ass so many times when I have had to read a big book in a short amount of time. The best thing about them is that you can listen to them while you do other things. Doing chores, driving, making dinner, even going for a run. And if you have dyslexia, it will be a lifesaver for you.

3. Know a few things, but know them well

Do a close reading of a few chapters. Know examples of one motif by heart. Having vague knowledge is no good to anyone, least of all yourself. Hone in on a few key points, and know them inside and out. You can afford to do this in English. Again, Sparknotes and Litcharts are great for this. Choose one theme, and read their page on it. It's as simple as that!

4. If your text was set in/ published in a different time era, do some very basic research on that period

For example, Of Mice and Men (a great book, btw) was both published and set in the 1930's. It is set in California. This is important because many of the story's main themes and motifs are based around this. The themes of the American Dream and minority rights are very prevalent throughout the book. Steinbeck was trying to make a statemnt. And if we didn't know the social context of the time, we would not be able to analyse it. So do your research, even if it is very basic

5. If you are not sure, it is probably a reference to the Bible, or Shakespeare, or Greek Mythology

Literally. Give me any classic book, and I could point out a hundred references to these three. Your English teacher will certainly give you extra points for picking up any allusions of this sort. Once again, on both Sparknotes and Litcharts, most books have a page dedicated to the literary allusions present in them. Use. This.

6. Utilize Tumblr

It sounds silly, but you are much more likely to remember what happened/major themes if you read them from shitposts. Engage people with discussions! Talk about your thoughts on the book, ask them for theirs! There is a very good chance that practically every book has been fandomised on this hellsite. I recently had an incredibly interesting and insightful discussion about the phenomenon of Sherlock Holmes and its effect on modern fan culture. Wouldn't that make a great essay?

7. If you can find any evidence whatsoever, then to your English teacher it is good enough.

If you can successfully argue a point, then you will do well on your essay! Anyone seen that post about the person who wrote an essay that Hamlet was partially blind, and they ended up getting a really high mark for it? That is what I am talking about! Argue that Jay Gatsby was gay, that Sherlock Holmes was autistic and that Dorian Gray had ADHD. Write a whole essay proving that George was in love with Lennie or that Heathcliff is a werewolf. Claim that everyone in Pride and Prejudice is an alien. I don't care (although I would love to read the alien one!). Seriously, I have talked to my English teacher about this: as long as you can find evidence and defend your claim, it is true in the eyes of your teacher.

8. Actually listen in class

I may just be lucky, but every English teacher I've ever had has supplied the class with a lot of the information above, such as the historical context of the story.

9. Start early and over-outline

If your essay is an assignment and not an exam, my advice is to start as soon as you know what the task is! Even if you write the title, and start mulling it over in your head. Write down any ideas you have immediately, take quotes from the book, the author and even others. Once you have your ideas, outline, outline, outline! This is my greatest advice for any subject you need to write an essay for! Don't make the outline rigid, but put down all your ideas. Be silly with it, using abbreviations and swear words and memes. Just get your points down. This fights procrastination too, becuase you think you are only outlining. Once you have everything out in a rough order, all you have to do is open up a blank document and put it into formal and pretentious language. I usually find that if my outline is a bit less than half my word count, then I will be good to go once I have typed it all up. The ratio might be different for you. See what works.

And there you go! You have just written yourself a world-class essay with all of your knowledge of the book! I'm so proud of you!

I hope this has been helpful. These are the ways I personally work. If I think of anything else I will add it on.

Happy reading! (Or Sparknote-ing lol)