#i always try to enter in her brain lol

[fushitoru]

chapter 2: the aftermath a bridgerton!au

pairing ⸺ duke!satoru gojo x fem!reader

summary ⸺ dearest gentle reader, a new season is upon us as the ton gets ready for a season filled with drama, heartbreak, and passion. after being crowned diamond of the season, heir to a dukedom mr. satoru gojo⸺only looking to marry just to secure his inheritance⸺has his sights set on you, the easiest (and most obvious) option. later, when you catch his saying unsavory things about you on a terrace when he least suspected it, you swear to never marry gojo. as london's fashionable set goes through yet another wedding season, will there be hope for scandalous gossip, hate, and thinly veiled insults, or will we witness blooming love and passion?

warnings ⸺ nsfw, enemies to lovers, bridgerton au, angst, fluff, eventual smut, jealousy, misogyny, regency era au, gojo being infuriating, reader also being infuriating, both of them are clueless honestly

chapter summary ⸺ after an eventful first ball after your debut, you continue the season with thinly veiled vexation towards gojo. but fate is not on your side; you and gojo keep encountering each other, matching fire with fire (7.8k)

a/n some parts of this chapter broke my brain to write but i kind of had fun! as always thank you to @/sinn-claire for beta reading :p i was going to say i'll try to have weekly updates but i don't want to jinx it lol

prev. the debutante | next. the manor

general masterlist | series masterlist

Dearest gentle reader, 

It appears that Her Majesty has bestowed the coveted title of this season’s Diamond upon none other than Miss Itadori, who has indeed lived up to her newfound acclaim as the incomparable of the year. At the latest ball, our shining Diamond was quite occupied, with suitors lining up in such numbers that one might have thought them to be queuing for the royal throne itself. Furthermore, blooms were budding between many of the debutantes and gentlemen, including…..

...Yet, one particular couple captivated the attention of all: none other than Mister Satoru Gojo and our season’s Diamond. After having kept his words sparse and his attentions limited to none, Mister Gojo appeared utterly taken with Miss Itadori, conversing with her intimately on the dance floor. It seems your humble Author was indeed correct⸺Mister Gojo has entered the marriage market. However, the exclusivity he has adopted may not deter the determined maidens he seeks to avoid, for the Ambitious Mamas will no doubt perceive his selectiveness as a challenge to be overcome. 

One cannot help but wonder if an announcement of particular interest will be made at the upcoming Gojo country house party. Although your Author has not yet laid eyes upon the guest list for the Duchess Gojo’s anticipated gathering, reliable sources suggest that nearly every eligible young lady of marriageable age will be journeying to Kent next week. The country house party is known to be a perilous affair. Married individuals often find themselves enjoying the company of someone other than their spouse, while the unwed frequently return to town betrothed with surprising haste.

Indeed, the most unexpected engagements often follow closely on the heels of such rustic diversions.

⸻ LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS

Satoru had no intention of squandering his time this season⸺or at any time, for that matter.

The notion of love matches held little appeal to him, despite witnessing such a union firsthand in his own parents. Make no mistake, the Duke and Duchess Gojo enjoyed a happy marriage, and Satoru held both his father and mother in the highest regard. Yet, he was perfectly content on his own.

Being one of the strongest bachelors⸺both intellectually and physically⸺has been Satoru’s destiny. Ever since his ancestors had been blessed by the royal family with the dukedom, the Gojo family had made its goal to be the most powerful nobility and the closest to the royal family. (Which is still maintained in the status quo, because the Queen dotes on Satoru, inviting him for tea every fortnight. The Queen lavished him with overly sweet biscuits, and in return, Satoru provided her with the latest gossip from court). 

But this responsibility doesn’t get fulfilled without independence; one had to accept the solitary truth that to be truly great was to remain unswayed by the fleeting pleasures of the world⸺love included.

Satoru had little time or interest for the other vices that tempted men of his station, such as lust. Contrary to the whispers circulating among the ton, Satoru had never indulged in the life of a rake or frequented brothels as many of his acquaintances did. Really, the allegations were, in truth, merely just a byproduct of his appearance and demeanor; with a young man with the stature, face, and eligibility of Satoru, the public would immediately like to slap on the label of “rake” due to his arrogant personality. Moreover, any encounters he had witnessed between men and women⸺whether dropping his friends off at brothels in his carriage after an evening at the gentleman’s club or overhearing flirtations at parties⸺struck him as shallow and an utter waste of time, especially when he was already a week behind on the ledgers and other official matters his father had entrusted to him. (He did have one indulgence, however: a weakness for gluttony, with an array of sweet confections as his loyal companions during long, sleepless nights.)

Marriage was an even greater burden. The thought of being accountable for a wife, and eventually children, seemed like a daunting task to Satoru. With sleepless nights spent on covering just a fraction of the business his father must do as a duke, Satoru was tired. He was exhausted⸺exhausted from the weight of responsibility, from striving to meet his father’s expectations, from seeking the Queen’s approval, from worrying over what Whistledown might print about him, and from the gossip of the businessmen with whom the Gojo family dealt. 

And yet, despite this weariness, Satoru was gripped by an insatiable obsession with perfection, an obsession that only deepened his fatigue. He craved approval, power, and the flawless execution of his duties⸺desires that gnawed at him even as they threatened to consume him.

Which is exactly why he needed a perfect wife. A wife that was capable, could handle bothersome people⸺which he was steadily losing the patience to deal with⸺and a reliable companion. Someone that would reduce his stress, not add to it. 

Satoru had spent all day lurking in the shadows as best as he could; being the most eligible bachelor did mean that brothers and sisters were coming up to him, singing praises of their debutante in an effort to capture his interest. But Satoru knew all too well that the loudest families often had the most to compensate for.

As ladies in white paraded before the crowd, many buckling under the weight of judgment and attention, Satoru prowled like a jungle cat, staying hidden in the throng, biding his time, and waiting for the right moment to strike.

What he noticed first about you was your way of carrying yourself. Even Auntie⸺the Queen⸺who, after seeing countless of girls today, had been incredibly bored, dragged her eyes over you in slightly more interest than she did for others. The moment you stepped through those grand doors into the court, it was evident to everyone that your stride was that of someone who understood her role and position in life⸺a confidence that set you apart from the other debutantes. Satoru’s eyes raked over you, observing you as your chest rose slightly as you took a breath in. 

And then you smiled.

Satoru's eyes widened, just imperceptibly, as he watched your expression as you made your way to the Queen. He made sure to shake his expression off to a more nonchalant one as he watched your form walk. Lesser men than Satoru would die for your smile. Men, out of all traits a woman could possess, cherished a pretty visage the most. Yet, what your smile conveyed went beyond mere beauty; it embodied innocence and the qualities most esteemed in a demure bride (which Satoru knew was just all a show, but it was indeed indicative of your skill to put up appearances, hence deeming you a reliable companion).

The corner of the young man's mouth rose.  When the Queen declared you the diamond of the season, Satoru knew he had found his quarry.

When the ball came, Satoru acted similarly: observing from behind, staying in conversation with his friends and other noble men that did business with the Gojo family as he prowled the ballroom, waiting for the right moment to ask you for your hand. And then Naoya came in when you were finally alone, away from all the incompetent men that dared to think they had a chance to court you, and Satoru almost laughed snarkily at how easy it all was. 

Approaching you, saving you from Naoya⸺it was all a perfect construction of his. Dancing, he noticed your steps were carried out with a practiced perfection and grace, and your responses to his questions displayed a respectable level of intellect. He could tell your responses were practiced and simple, your constitution and demeanor a result of much effort into presenting yourself as best as you could. But what does it matter, when you do it so perfectly?

Maybe it was a bit naive of him, but you seemed to glow when conversing with him. It amused him, as he kept watching your pretty eyes as you kept smiling while he kept throwing difficult questions at you. It was all expected, however. Satoru knew he was blessed with the brilliant blue Gojo eyes and eccentric fair, white hair; he was the most eligible bachelor for not only wealth and power but reproductive capabilities and opportunities as well. Which lady wouldn’t want to be mother to his cute and beautiful blue-eyed babies?

After witnessing such mediocre men who paled in comparison to Satoru, surely you must be smitten. Gojo could see right through you: you, the diamond, have been looking for a man as meritorious as you, and you had found it in Satoru. 

So why were you acting this way?

When you wake up in the morning and get ready for suitors, it is as you expected; there are multiple carriages outside your doorstep, and there is a line from the drawing room, extending all the way down the stairs. When Choso stumbles into the drawing room, where you and your mother are enjoying tea, he is clearly unhappy at the selection of men waiting to be let in to call upon you. 

“This is absurd!” Choso’s hands raked over his hair in an effort to process the scene he had just witnessed. “Why do I see Naoya waiting outside?”

Your nose crinkled in distaste. “Well, dear brother, I certainly cannot control which suitors call upon me. He must’ve enjoyed our conversation yesterday. The enjoyment, however, is one sided.”

Choso’s eyes widened comically. “You had a conversation with him yesterday?” He then turned to your mother accusingly, who was reading a Whistledown while sipping on her tea innocuously. “This would not have happened if I was there, Mother. This is your fault.”

Your mother continued drinking her tea nonchalantly, waiting for a few beats to grace him with a response. “I prefer this, my son, to no visitors out there because our dear Lord Itadori scared all the bachelors away with his pickiness.” Then, her eyes flashed. “And don’t give me that tone.”

You snickered behind your palm as Choso visibly deflated.

 “Kuna! Get back here!”

Pitter patters of small paws started to get closer and closer, as heavy footsteps followed it. Yuji and the family corgi, Sukuna Jr., burst into the room. Eyeing the biscuit in your hand, Kuna made his way directly to you, panting at your feet. A pet given affectionately by your-not-so-affectionate older brother, Sukuna, when he left for his year long trip around Europe, Kuna was the cutest little puppy. You and Yuji loved to spoil him, clearly shown as Yuji patted him while breathing heavily. You cooed as Kuna licked your fingers while inhaling the biscuit you had presented him. 

“Well,” your mother stood up, having finished her tea, and began ushering in the maids to clear the table. “It seems our morning will be quite busy. You’d best be prepared for a long day, my dear.”

Choso was still grumbling as he took a seat across from you, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the long line of suitors outside. “I’m keeping an eye on that Naoya fellow. If he so much as looks at you the wrong way…”

You raised an eyebrow at your brother’s protectiveness, feeling both amused and touched. “Choso, I appreciate your concern, but I can handle myself. Besides, with Kuna here, I doubt any of these gentlemen will get too close without proper approval.”

As if understanding the conversation, Sukuna Jr. barked enthusiastically, his tail wagging as he looked up at you with bright, expectant eyes. You smiled and scratched behind his ears, watching as his tiny body wriggled with joy.

Yuji, still catching his breath from the chase, flopped onto the chair beside you, shooting a grin at Choso. “Come on, big brother, give her a break. It’s not every day our sister gets declared the diamond of the season. Let her enjoy it.”

Choso crossed his arms, still unconvinced. “I’m just saying, if any of these men don’t meet my standards⸺”

“Your standards?” you interrupted with a teasing lilt. “Choso, I’d never find a husband if I had to meet your impossible standards. Besides, you should be more concerned about finding someone yourself.”

Choso’s cheeks tinted with a slight blush, but make no mistake; he was hot with anger, ready to make a snarky retort. Your mother, who had been overseeing the maids, turned her attention back to the conversation with a soft smile.

“Your sister is right, Choso. It’s her time to shine, and as her family, we should support her, not make things more difficult.” She gave him a pointed look before turning to you with a gentler expression, and he backed down as he always does for your mother. “Now, my dear, are you ready to begin receiving your guests?”

You took a deep breath, nodding as you steeled yourself for the hours of polite conversation and careful navigation of the social battlefield ahead. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Good,” your mother said, her voice laced with both pride and encouragement. “Remember, you are the diamond of the season. There isn’t a man out there who wouldn’t be lucky to have you.”

You offered a weak smile. “Let’s get this over with.”

As you walked toward the sofa where you would be talking with suitors, Kuna trotted alongside you, his presence a comforting reminder.With Yuji and Choso trailing behind, and your mother leading the way to open the door, you braced yourself for the onslaught of admirers waiting beyond the door.

But as you straighten your posture, in anticipation to greet the first suitor, you couldn't help but glance down at Kuna, who stared up at you with wide, curious eyes. You chuckled softly.

“Well, Kuna,” you whispered, “let’s see who passes your test today.”

Gojo’s gaze wandered down to Sukuna Jr. in your lap as you stroked his fur, and he gave you a saccharine⸺yet strained⸺smile. “Must this dog bear witness to our conversation? 

As if sensing Gojo’s unfriendliness, Kuna started growling, and you could feel the rumble deep in his stomach. You met Gojo’s sweet smile with one of your own. “Yes.”

Gojo blinked, and the smile on his face faltered. You noticed that this was one of the first time Gojo’s ever expressed an emotion outside of smugness, and you count this as your personal win.

“Well,” he hesitated, and then a smile was on his face as if that stumble didn’t happen. “You look wonderful this morning, Miss Itadori.”

Your eyes flashed at his audacity to talk behind your back and try to fool you with flattery. “On the contrary, I think I look rather simple.”

Gojo, none the wiser as to what you were referring to, waved his hands. “Nonsense.”

Before you could respond, Kuna let out a low, rumbling growl, his sharp eyes fixed on Gojo. The sound was subtle, but in the quiet of the morning, it was unmistakable. Gojo’s gaze flickered down to the small dog, and his smile tightened ever so slightly.

You gently scratched behind Kuna’s ears, calming him, though his gaze never left Gojo. “I apologize on behalf of my dear Kuna,” you said, your voice light but nonetheless pointed. “He tends to be wary of many, particularly those he believes to be with ulterior motives.”

Gojo nodded, unfazed, and looked down at the dog in question. Upon eye contact, all your efforts to calm Kuna went to naught as the dog stood up, tense and teeth almost bared fully, to stare back at Gojo defiantly. Gojo, to his credit, was starting to be a little wary and was giving the pup an impassive stare. 

“You know, I have an affinity for dogs. There are many pups that I have spent my entire childhood with.” He offered a chuckle and moved his hand to pet Kuna. “Dogs do have a way of sensing things, don’t they?” That was clearly the wrong decision because the dog’s growl grew louder, and suddenly, he snapped at Gojo’s hand. Before Kuna could sink his teeth into Gojo’s hand, however, Gojo smoothly withdrew it out of his reach. 

“Protective, isn’t he?” Gojo laughed, but his stare towards Kuna was veering more and more into a glare. He tried to disguise his irritation by suavely adding, “Admirable. I’m glad he has protected my lady so well.” Gojo then grabbed your hand to give you a small kiss on the back of it while keeping eye contact. You had to divert your eyes elsewhere to avoid coloring your cheeks; while you knew this was just another one of Gojo’s pretenses to charm you, you were still fazed by it. 

You cleared your throat and tried to uphold the conversation. After all, it would be outright rude to keep throwing thinly veiled insults his way when there were others in your company; he also had the potential to spread further malicious rumors about you if you showed attitude. You mustered up a fake smile, and offered, “He was a gift to me and Yuji offered by my older brother, Sukuna, when he went traveling,” you offered. 

“Is that the brother you hoped to follow to Europe?”

You blinked and faltered. You didn’t expect him to remember that tidbit from your conversation at the ball last night. While most of the preferences you had asserted were artificial⸺supplemented to you by your tutor, who had drilled what fake preferences of yours would woo men⸺you truly did gain enthusiasm for the languages because you hoped to prove your helpfulness to Sukuna in an effort to run away from your inevitable debut. At the time, you were rebelling against anything your mama said, avoiding anything  associated with being paraded around like an animal, put on display for men. “Yes,” you said slowly, “Yes, it is.” 

Gojo smiled, this time a little more genuine at the fact it was his first time receiving an authentic response from you this morning, rather than something covered with a fake smile. Just as he leaned in slightly, probably preparing to make another smooth remark, Kuna, who had been shifting in your lap, suddenly stilled, his face buried in your lap and tail facing Gojo. For a moment, you thought he might be settling down.

And then it happened.

The largest fart ripped through the room out of Kuna’s arse, which was pointed directly in Gojo’s face. While you were not a scholar studying physics, you were aware that the air dynamics did not do Gojo any favors in preventing the smell from hitting him direct-on. Gojo’s eyes widened in surprise, and his suave expression faltered entirely as the smell quickly followed, filling the air around you both.

You could feel the heat rushing to your face in your effort not to laugh out loud. Trying to keep your composure, you gently patted Kuna’s belly, who was now face up, tongue lolling out in bliss. “Oh, dear,” you muttered, your voice strained with the effort to suppress a laugh.

Gojo, for once, was at a loss for words. His eyes were tearing up, probably at the smell; whenever you and Yuji spoiled Kuna with those biscuits, he dropped nasty-smelling dungs, and you knew Gojo wasn’t spared at all. The arrogant bachelor, who always seemed to have a witty response ready, was now at a loss of words as he weakly gazed upon the weak little poot! poot!s that escaped Kuna as you continued patting his stomach in an effort to relieve your pup’s digestive system.

At Gojo’s expression, you had to take quiet, deep breaths in an effort to rein in the cackles that were threatening to overcome you. You resorted to covering your mouth as you strained, “As you can see, my Kuna is quite expressive, and he seemed quite eager to show you that.”

He offered you a strained smile. “He does indeed generate quite a bit of wind.” At that, you could no longer hold back. Genuine laughter wracked through your figure, hurting your ribs as you tried to quell it with a hand to the mouth, but no avail. Your muffled laughter was still loud, and when the giggles subsided, you wiped your tears and threw an apologetic look at Gojo, preparing to express your regret. 

But you stopped at the sheer wonder he contained in his face as his gaze fixated on your lips, which were drawn back in the ghost of the smile you had while laughing riotously. Without allowing you much time to dwell on it, he stood up and dipped his head in a little bow. “Well, I have been taking quite a bit of your time, Miss Itadori. I better let other suitors have their chance.” He kissed the back of your hand. “I hope to see you at the horse race tomorrow.”

“Likewise.” You couldn’t help but spy some red coloring Gojo’s alabaster cheeks as he made his way to the exit. As you greeted the next suitor, the imprint of a certain man’s lips continued to tingle on your hands. 

“I told you he was a rake,” Nobara muttered as she scrubbed your arm with an intensity that matched her outrage. After hearing what Gojo had said about you, she was livid. Unfortunately, your skin was bearing the brunt of her frustration.

“Well,” you mused, trying to distract her, “what rumors have you heard that make you think that?”

“Momo told me a few months ago⸺” Nobara paused, her hands hovering over the various bottles on the counter. “Which scent would you prefer for your hair?”

“Sandalwood,” you replied.

Nobara nodded and poured some of the rich liquid into her hands before massaging it into your scalp. You closed your eyes, feeling the tension from the day's exhausting and dull conversations slowly melt away under her skillful fingers. “Momo mentioned that he’s often out late at night, which seems suspicious. But now that I think about it, Momo isn’t the most reliable source,” Nobara added, her tone shifting to one of skepticism.

You quirked an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”

“There’s talk that she attempted to lure another maid’s husband into an affair,” Nobara replied, her hands now working the shampoo through your hair with a practiced ease. “She even tried to gain access to his quarters.”

You gasped. “How scandalous!”

“I know,” Nobara said, her hands now massaging the back of your neck with a gentler touch. “So, who knows how much truth there is to her gossip. But still, Gojo’s behavior is less than honorable, don’t you think?”

You sighed, gazing up at the ceiling with a mix of frustration and resignation. “He was gossiping about me with other men, calling me all sorts of horrible things⸺‘simple,’ of all things. And yet, he has the audacity to want to call upon me?”

“You know,” Nobara mused as she continued her task, “He sounds the exact opposite of what some of your books would imply.”

You hummed in agreement, recalling the radical works you kept hidden beneath your bed. Your mother would be appalled if she ever discovered them, but you often sought solace in political writings that challenged the rigid expectations of society. “I know. And that is precisely why I have no intention of encouraging his attention this season—at least, not before I ensure his complete and utter humiliation.”

“But do take care. His connections to the Queen are quite strong.”

You drew back from Nobara's hands, much to her chagrin. She gave you a glare while you exclaimed, "What?"

“Surely you’re aware that the Gojo dukedom is among the closest to the royal family?”

You fervently hoped your mother hadn’t caught wind of Gojo's status. Yet, the way she had been observing you⸺subtly scrutinizing you in the drawing room while feigning interest in a suitor awaiting his turn⸺suggested otherwise. She had certainly noticed Gojo's growing interest, and the thought of her getting involved, fixating on a match with him, filled you with dread. Drawing your hands over your face, you moaned, the very notion of her scheming to pair you with Gojo weighing heavily on your mind.

“But that should hardly be a concern if you’ve begun to distance yourself from him, correct? You have been creating some distance, haven’t you?”

Your silence spoke volumes, and Nobara, ever quick to discern your hesitation, gasped in exasperation. “You cannot seriously be considering giving this gentleman any encouragement, can you?”

"No, no, it’s not that,” you replied, massaging your temples in frustration. “It’s just that my mother is probably ecstatic at the prospect of securing a match between me and Gojo.”

“But surely, if she knew the things he’s been saying behind your back, she would understand.”

You tried to open your mouth to respond, but it felt as if your throat had closed up. Would she really? A match with Gojo would mean elevated status for the Itadori family⸺a duchess for a daughter. What worth is there in being the diamond of the season if not to secure the most advantageous match? The very thought made your chest tighten with the suffocating realization that your mother might very well advocate for the union, despite Gojo’s duplicity.

“I⸺” you swallowed. “I’m not sure.” Before Nobara could interrupt, you stood up and reached for your robe. 

Nobara's brow furrowed as she watched you stand up. "Where do you think you're going? You’re not done with your bath, and your hair is still full of suds!" She reached out to stop you, her hands hovering as though unsure whether to pull you back into the tub or grab the robe you were now clutching.

You forced a small, tired smile, grateful for the distraction. “I need just a moment. The water's gone cold, anyway.”

“Oh, nonsense! You’ll catch a chill if you get out now. Sit back down,” Nobara insisted, her protest tinged with genuine concern. She placed a firm hand on your shoulder, guiding you back toward the warm water.

With a reluctant sigh, you allowed yourself to be coaxed back into the tub. The momentary reprieve from the conversation was a relief, and you welcomed Nobara’s determined focus on completing your bath. She picked up a sponge, her earlier frustration melting into concentration as she scrubbed your back.

“Well, we can discuss that scheming rake later,” she muttered, more to herself than to you. “For now, let’s get you properly cleaned up before your mother comes looking for you. She’d never forgive me if I let you appear anything less than perfect.”

You nodded with a lump in your throat, grateful for the change in topic, even if only temporary. The soothing rhythm of Nobara's hands working through your hair, the warmth of the bathwater, and the familiar, comforting routine helped ease the tightness in your chest. For now, the troubling thoughts of Gojo and your mother's ambitions could be set aside.

“Now, hold still,” Nobara said, her tone softening as she rinsed the last of the soap from your hair. “We’ll have you looking radiant again in no time.”

The conversation was left unfinished, hanging in the air like a question that neither of you was quite ready to answer. But for now, the silence was a welcome refuge.

"Do you have any notion of how impossible it is to charm a lady when there is a pup expelling such foul air right beneath your nose?" Satoru lamented, leaning back in his chair and raking a hand through his tousled hair. The trio gathered at the table presented a rather unusual sight: Satoru, visibly discomposed; Nanami, calmly sipping his drink as ever; and Suguru, nearly doubled over in laughter at his friend’s misfortune.

“Would you please⸺SMACK⸺cease your laughing?!” Satoru glared at Suguru, who seemed to be of no hope, now with tears in his eyes as he clutched his stomach and the back of his head, which Satoru had just hit. 

“Truly, your vanity⸺haaah⸺your vanity was in need of humbling,” Suguru managed between breaths, still snickering behind his palms. 

Satoru glowered, crossing his arms and staring daggers into his drink, as if his gaze alone could break the fine glass. “My pride had already suffered enough. She was positively frigid.”

Nanami hummed. “Perhaps she’s merely discerned your true nature.”

“It defies comprehension,” Gojo groaned, ignoring Kento’s statement. “What kind of lady disparages her own beauty as ‘simple’? I cannot fathom what has caused her such vexation. Only the night before, she was utterly taken with me!”

Suguru⸺who had now calmed down⸺was in the midst of wiping his tears when he suddenly stopped. “You don’t suppose it had anything to do with your careless words, do you?”

Kento eyed the pair in front of him with an accusatory side eye. “And what precisely did you say?”

 “Satoru, in his usual fashion, could not contain his tongue. Out on the terrace, with the garden as witness, he spoke rather unkindly, referring to the diamond as ‘simple and dull.’”

“Nonsense,” Satoru waved his hands, dismissing the idea. “The lady would never wander the gardens at such an hour in the night unchaperoned.”

“I suggest you reconsider.” Kento gave him a stern look and continued, “I happened upon her last night, emerging from the gardens, and she appeared rather disheveled.” 

This revelation gave Satoru pause, but if there was one thing certain about Satoru Gojo, it was this: his arrogance was such that he could scarcely fathom anyone, least of all a lady, finding his charm anything but irresistible⸺even if that very lady had overheard him uttering defamatory remarks about her. And this lady was one he could not let go of, unless he wanted to wave good-bye to his future.

“I am confident all will be well,” Gojo exhaled, his lips curving into a Cheshire smile. “Even if she did overhear, surely a few well-chosen sweet words will surely set matters right.”

(He was most grievously mistaken.)

“How many of those biscuits do you suppose we could finish?” Yuji was eyeing the biscuits from his seat next to you in the pavilion where you and your family were sitting. Out promenading with the other families of the ton, it was a scenic and beautiful day for you to mingle with even more suitors. The joy!

“Certainly less than me,” you remarked, sipping on your tea smugly. By the irritated pout on his face, you knew you were successful at getting a rise out of your younger brother. Knowing your mother wasn’t in sight, you quickly darted for the jam-filled biscuits, and your brother quickly followed in tow; soon, you were both stuffing your faces silly with the sugary treats.

“You two are incorrigible,” Choso scrunched his nose from where he sat across from you, arms crossed. “There’s no need to inhale those biscuits. What if someone sees?”

Yuji stuck out his tongue⸺now adorned with biscuit crumbs⸺and continued gorging, while you snickered at your younger brother’s pettiness.

“Miss Itadori.”

You began coughing wildly, caught off guard, and hastily straightened your posture to greet your guest. You turned to see Lord Ino, who offered you a slight nod before acknowledging your brothers. “Lord Itadori. Mister Itadori.”

“Lord Ino, nice to meet you on such a fine day.” You try to put a smile on your face as best as you can, even though you were caught off guard. “How do you find today’s weather?” 

Takuma grabs the back of your hand to kiss it. “I find it wonderful for the prospect of promenading. Do you care to do so with me?”

“Of course,” You stand up and link your elbows with Takuma’s.

“We’ll be thirty paces behind you, sister.” You both turned to look at Choso, who was giving Lord Ino his inevitable protective glare. Given Ino’s acceptable station, Choso hadn’t immediately protested, unlike the many suitors he had chased out of your manor the day before. He grabbed Yuji by the elbow, who, with cheeks comically inflated like a chipmunk hoarding acorns, was promptly dragged away. “Yuji, get up.” The last you saw of your brothers was Yuji’s futile protests, his mouth too full to be coherent⸺inevitably sending some crumbs flying onto Choso⸺and Choso swatting him for it.

As you began your walk with Lord Ino, the conversation naturally turned to the upcoming horse race. “Are you looking forward to the race this afternoon?” you asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

“I am,” the lord replied. “And you?”

“Very much so,” you said, a hint of excitement in your voice. “I have a feeling that the less popular horse⸺Blaze, was it?⸺might surprise everyone. The conditions seem just right for an underdog victory; the track is soft and warm, which would favor Blaze’s build.”

Lord Ino glanced at you with a polite but unconvinced smile. “But Thunder has higher odds and more bets. It’s as simple as that.”

You couldn’t help but bristle at the word “simple,” a word that had recently come to grate on your nerves. You pressed on, though, determined to keep the conversation pleasant. “I suppose there’s some truth to that, but sometimes there’s more to a race than just the odds and popularity.”

Ino chuckled softly. “Well, a good mentor and friend of mine⸺Duke Nanami⸺agrees with the odds, and His Grace is someone I deeply respect. I tend to follow his lead⸺the duke has a way of teaching lessons without hindering one’s growth.”

Before you could respond, the sound of a trumpet blared in the distance, signaling the start of the race. You looked at him, giving him a courteous nod, gesturing in the general direction Choso and Yuji were supposed to be in. “It seems the race is about to begin. I must rejoin my family.”

You curtsied as he bowed, and you watched as he walked away, leaving you momentarily alone. You took a deep breath, trying to dispel the lingering irritation from the conversation. Just as you began looking for your family, you felt a presence approaching.

You turned to find Lady Mei Mei and her entourage closing in. Their expressions were a study in artful contempt, laced with curiosity and barely concealed amusement. The atmosphere between you was thick with unspoken competition, each woman silently gauging the other’s position on the social ladder. 

“Miss Itadori, what a nice surprise!” Lady Mei Mei remarked, her tone dripping with false sweetness. “It appears you are alone and unchaperoned in a garden yet again! At least, according to what the rumors say. Was it part of yet another one of your charming ploys to get what you want?"

You met her gaze with cool composure, not giving her the satisfaction of a visible reaction. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

Lady Mei Mei tilted her head slightly, her eyes narrowing as if appraising a particularly interesting specimen. "Really?" she mused, drawing out the word as though savoring it. "It’s just that Lord Gojo hasn’t spoken with you all day. Even if Whistledown commended you in the last issue, I wouldn’t expect his interest to linger." The two ladies flanking her⸺unremarkable save for their sycophantic attachment to Mei Mei⸺giggled behind their fans, as though she had delivered a crushing blow.

You allowed yourself a small, almost imperceptible smile, one that didn’t reach your eyes. "So I’m assuming he called upon you?" you questioned sweetly, your voice laced with feigned politeness.

For a fleeting moment, Lady Mei Mei’s carefully curated composure slipped, the faintest flicker of irritation crossing her face before she regained control. She leaned in slightly, her voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper meant for you alone. “None of the suitors will be interested in you any longer. The Queen may have mistakenly proclaimed you the diamond, but a pretty face, empty smiles, and hollow words can only last so long.”

“Whatever would be most convenient for you to believe.” Her words were empty and her threats dull, but you couldn’t help but let it compound on the irritation you had experienced today. But you knew better than to let your tongue loose; you were quite impulsive when you had started, and you didn’t want to start any scandal anytime soon. Instead, you held your ground, trying to maintain your composure (outwardly, at least) as Lady Mei Mei and her entourage turned to leave, their laughter echoing in your ears. 

You tried to implement a few things your tutor had ingrained in you: taking deep breaths and setting your posture correctly. However, as you stood there, collecting yourself, the last thing you needed seemed to manifest before you: Satoru Gojo.

His tall figure approached you with that familiar, self-assured stride, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Ah, Miss Itadori," he greeted, a sly smile playing on his lips. You were already irritated, and it took all your will-power to stifle a groan. 

"I couldn’t help but notice you were conversing with Lord Ino," he remarked casually.

Give him a smile. "Indeed, we were enjoying a promenade. It is, after all, what young ladies and their suitors are expected to do."

“Quite the choice in company!”

KEEP up the smile.  "He is a nobleman, and I am of noble descent. I fail to see your point, Mr. Gojo." 

Gojo’s smile was quick and cutting. “Oh, I’ve no particular quarrel with Lord Ino. It’s simply that he’s hardly the sort I’d expect to see on your arm. After all, he’s practically Nanami’s lapdog.”

You felt the familiar irritation rising within you⸺and you were fighting for your life trying to keep a smile on your face⸺but you kept your tone measured. "And what, pray tell, are you implying by that, Mr. Gojo?"

"It’s quite simple, really⸺" 

But your patience, already worn thin, snapped at that word.

"My good sir, do you not think it rather dishonorable to speak ill of others behind their backs?" Gojo began to respond, but you cut him off. "It’s curious how quickly opinions can change, is it not? Just the other evening, you seemed to hold me in rather low regard. Tell me, do you often dismiss people as ‘simple’ when they fail to meet any of the lofty expectations you have set? Or do you perhaps truly believe yourself to be at a station higher than others?"

Gojo stiffened, the smile slipping from his face as your words hit their mark. Before he could respond, Choso appeared at your side, his protective presence a welcome relief.

“Is there any problem, sister?” Choso asked, his tone polite yet firm as he glanced at Satoru, his eyes narrowing slightly.

Gojo’s gaze flicked to Choso, his irritation clear as he opened his mouth to make a cutting remark, and you couldn’t thank the gods enough for Choso’s mother hen tendencies. But the words faltered when he recognized who had interrupted. For a brief moment, surprise flashed in his eyes before he masked it with a tight-lipped smile.

You seized the moment, turning to Satoru with a sweet smile. “I think our time is up, Mister Gojo,” you said, your voice laced with venom.

Satoru hesitated for just a fraction of a second before nodding curtly, his expression unreadable. “Of course. Until next time, Miss Itadori.”

With that, he stepped back, allowing you and Choso to walk away toward where people were gathering for the race. As you moved through the crowd, you could feel Satoru’s gaze lingering on you, but you didn’t look back.

“That horse appears rather stout, does it not?” Yuji squinted against the blazing sun as he observed the horses from his seat beside you in the grandstand. “Why has it garnered so many bets?”

Choso, seated protectively on your other side, kept a steady arm linked with yours. His presence was reassuring, though your irritation was directed at the figure seated just below you. Satoru Gojo, to your endless chagrin, was sitting with Lady Mei Mei, who had all but forced her way into the seat beside him. Though he tried to appear indifferent, his signature flirty remarks flowing with ease, you noticed the subtle signs of irritation crossing his face. Whether it stemmed from Lady Mei Mei's advances or from your earlier exchange, you couldn't be sure. You refused to meet his gaze, though you could feel his eyes on you intermittently as the crowd waited for the race to begin.

“Men can be quite foolish at times,” you remarked hotly, your voice carrying just enough to be overheard. “Some people value the superficial and materialistic over true substance, much like they do with horses. Blaze, for instance, has the qualities that truly matter.”

You could almost feel Gojo’s gaze intensify, and despite yourself, you glanced in his direction. Lady Mei Mei, ever the actress, feigned a stumble, exclaiming with a coy smile, “These crowds are rather rough on a lady!”

You scoffed inwardly at her transparent attempt to press her bosom against Gojo’s arm.

“Oh my,” Gojo drawled, his voice oozing concern. “We can’t have that, can we?” Ever the gallant gentleman, he interlaced his arm with hers. “Here, for extra protection. I wouldn’t want a pretty lady shedding tears beside me.”

Mei Mei’s smirk was as satisfied as a serpent after a meal, and she batted her eyelashes coquettishly. “If I were to cry, would you console me?”

“Of course,” Gojo replied smoothly. “Though I might find myself crying should my horse lose. The bets I’ve placed are rather substantial.”

A flirtatious giggle escaped Mei Mei’s lips. “Then I shall cheer with all my might, so you needn’t suffer any losses, my lord.”

You were perilously close to tearing your hair out.

“I appreciate your enthusiasm, my lady,” Gojo said, taking her hand and kissing the back of it with exaggerated flourish. “But rest assured, I am quite confident of a victory today. Thunder is swift and cunning, far superior to that... other horse. It’s simple, really—Thunder will win.”

Your composure cracked. “Yuji,” you called, your voice sharp. Your brother, who had been lost in thought, snapped to attention. “Despite the other horse’s popularity, Blaze possesses the one quality universal to all champions: speed and diligence. The track conditions are in its favor.”

Yuji, caught off guard, blinked in confusion. “Yes, of course, sister,” he mumbled, clearly unsure of why you were addressing him.

“And anyone who thinks otherwise,” you continued, raising your voice slightly, “is bound to lose their money. Sorely and simply.”

Gojo matched your tone, his voice ringing out. “But of course, it’s all in good fun. There’s no need for hostility over a sport, is there? Both horses are fine contenders, though I remain convinced Thunder shall emerge victorious.”

Mei Mei tittered, parroting his sentiments, but you could hardly see straight for the anger coursing through you. Unable to hold back, you retorted, “However, it is, after all, still a race. And Blaze will win.”

By now, your exchange had drawn the attention of those around you, including your brothers. Choso and Yuji exchanged puzzled glances before Yuji asked weakly, “Are you still talking to us, sister?” Meanwhile, Choso’s protective instincts flared, his gaze darting suspiciously between you and Gojo.

Before you could reply, the horses lined up at the starting gate, and the crowd collectively rose to their feet, including Gojo. “Steady now, Thunder!” he called out, his voice brimming with confidence.

Not to be outdone, you shouted, “Come on, Blaze!”

The bell rang, and the horses surged forward, the crowd erupting in cheers. Blaze and Thunder quickly pulled ahead, the two horses locked in a fierce battle for the lead. Thunder was currently ahead, its sleek form cutting through the track with precision.

“Steady, Thunder! Keep the lead!” Gojo’s voice was full of excitement, urging his horse onward.

Your heart raced with frustration as Blaze lagged slightly behind. “You can do this, Blaze!” you urged, your voice rising above the din. Without thinking, you began whistling sharply, drawing alarmed looks from your brothers. The stares from the crowd meant nothing to you as you focused solely on the race.

Blaze, as if responding to your encouragement, began to accelerate, its powerful strides eating up the ground between it and Thunder. You noticed Thunder’s pace faltering, fatigue setting in, while Blaze surged ahead, pulling into the lead with a quarter of the race remaining.

Now it was Gojo’s turn to whistle, his voice tinged with desperation. “Straight to the finish line, Thunder! Don’t let up!”

But Blaze only widened the gap, its momentum carrying it farther ahead. You couldn’t contain your laughter, a joyous sound that bubbled up from within as Blaze crossed the finish line first, with Thunder trailing behind.

“Goddamn it,” Gojo cursed under his breath, his frustration palpable. You clapped your hands in delight, your laughter ringing out.

With deliberate grace, you placed your hands on your hips and turned to Gojo, flashing him a triumphant smile. “I’m so glad the ‘simple’ horse won,” you said, your voice dripping with satisfaction. “It seems I’ve finally bested a duke.”

Gojo’s blue eyes bore into you, their intensity searing, but you met his glare with a boisterous laugh, savoring the victory as the crowd’s cheers and claps echoed around you. Until it was only the two of you, staring each other down.

Gojo ⸺ 0, you ⸺ 1.

Now, Duchess Gojo had always had a penchant for gossip, no one escaping her eye and observation. Of course, it was now the Whistledown era, for the unknown author could observe far more than the high-profile duchess, who was the receiver of much praise and attention due to her son’s eligibility. But this eligibility had only been achieved because of her ability to direct the tide based on her reconnaissance, and in all her years, no could match her sass and direction. Except one. 

"You know, Lady Itadori," the Duchess remarked, her tone laced with feigned pensiveness, "the Gojo manor in the countryside has been dreadfully quiet, and, if I may say, it has been quite some time since we last enjoyed a proper tête-à-tête.”

The two ladies stood together near the stands, choosing a more secluded spot from which to observe the horse race. Lady Itadori, her closest confidante, met the Duchess’s gaze with a gleam in her eye. "Indeed, I must agree."

For a moment, the two women stood in silence, their eyes surveying the scene before them. From the ladies flirting shamelessly to the gentlemen scrambling for the favor of the season’s debutantes, they were like spectators at a grand circus. Yet, their attention was drawn to a particular act.

Raising her fan to her lips, Lady Itadori whispered conspiratorially to the Duchess, "I might add, my diamond has been spending a considerable amount of time in your son’s company."

The Duchess met her friend’s eyes and laughed lightly. "How many days do you wager it will take in the manor?"

Lady Itadori, now fully smirking, gave a delicate shrug. "It took you and the Duke but four days."

prev. the debutante | next. the manor

general masterlist | series masterlist

a/n: reader is hearing boss music rn

forced proximity whatttt

gojo when kuna ripped one in his face

comment, reblog, and send in an ask to let me know ur thots :3 memes are also appreciated <3

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[hoshigray]

Been thinking about this scenario a lot, but ex-husband! Toji, where you two are pretty chill with each other, even after five years of divorce. But the feelings between you two start to parade back after all these years, and it all comes boiling over after spending one night together.

A/n: Been a while since I've done one of these scenario thingies, plus this idea has been rotting my mind for a long time, and I needed it to get out, lol. I pushed back my Gojo fic to tmrw or Thursday because my brain was not feeling like re-reading 3-4k words while running on one hour of sleep. So, instead, we're dropping this in its stead. Sorry about that, and hope you like this while I fix the fic up later today :) Any grammar/spelling errors on this will be dealt with tmrw.

Cw: ex-husband! Toji x fem! reader - implied that reader is entering their mid 30s - starts out cute the first half but smutty the next, so minors DNI - implied that Tsumiki and Megumi are around middle school age; 12 (T) and 11 (M) - pining; Toji is whipped for you, I fear - Daddy kink - prone bone position + mating press - pet names (baby, sweetheart, sweetie, mama, princess) - cervix fucking - praise - itty-bitty-tiny overstimulation - closure; happy ending (?).

Wc: 3.4k (wow, way longer than the last one, lol)

Ex-husband! Toji...

...who you've divorced after being together for four years. It was a marriage built on love, convenience, and heartache. There is no denying that Toji loved you very much; if anything, the man would set the world ablaze if anything were to happen to you. Especially when you were the sweetest thing that blessed his presence and his two children who were young at the time — Tsumiki and Megumi at age three. The fact that you loved him as much as he loved you is beyond doubt in Toji's mind. However, somewhere down the line, you felt a "shadow" that you could not surpass nor fill — the late wife of Toji.

You could tell that Toji still had a piece of him that just couldn't let the memory of his late wife go, and you understood that. Hence why you chose to leave him, which was glum for all parties, but Toji understood where you were coming from and signed the papers.

...who's still chill with you after the divorce. You two promised not to act like complete strangers, especially with Tsumiki and Megumi being close to you. Just because the ring isn't on your finger doesn't mean you must change completely. The two of you are comfortable enough to be in each other's company, taking turns watching over the kids and acting like you're still married by poking fun at one another like the good days.

"Hey, big guy," Toji turns to the kitchen hallway where you're looking at him, his usual black coffee in his mug still sheltered in your apartment cupboards. "You look like shit; too tired to go to the clubs to find some minx to wow you enough like you used to?"

He snickers at your brazenness. "Shut up, brat. I could ask the same fr' you. Got some good dick on the side to help that attitude of yours, baby?" After checking around to see if the kids are nearby, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles before sipping his coffee.

...whose kids adore and love you so much that they secretly try to have you and Toji in the same place, which the two of you are entirely aware of. Five years passed after your separation, though that doesn't hinder the children from wanting you back in their lives again. Because to them, you are always a Fushiguro, and the love for you will always be there. It's there when you go to Tsumiki's soccer games and drag your ex-husband to find a better seat on the bleachers to watch her play. It's there when Megumi tells his father he "accidentally" left his baseball bat at your place and "unfortunately" now has to spend the night there (and you always receive them). And it's there when you promise to come along on family trips, like going to the zoo and taking pictures by the Panda enclosure with his daughter or going to the aquarium and listening intently to his son explain all the different types of jellyfish.

Toji can't blame his own kin for being attached to you because you are still a mother in their eyes. And so to his.

...who has his wedding ring on his dog-tag necklace but always tucks it under his shirt whenever you're present. It gives him a peace of mind when it comes to you because if he can't be there for you 24/7, he knows you're under his protection whenever you need it. But the thought of you knowing he still wears it makes him anxious, worried that you'll take it the wrong way and request he never wears it again. So, for his sake, he keeps you blind to this secret. And he wonders if you ever wear yours...

...who welcomes you without hesitation when you have to spend the night at his place because he notices you're too exhausted to go home so late. The only problem is that there's no other room outside the kids and Toji's. And as much you protest, expressing your satisfaction with taking the couch, your ex-husband disagrees and will carry you to bed, sneering to himself as you try to wiggle out of his stronghold until he smacks the bedroom door closed with his leg.

"I told you I was fine sleeping on the couch, Toji." You complain to him, yet your back is pressed against his chest with his arm around your waist.

"And I told you not gonna happen, princess." his hold around you gets tighter, pulling you closer for him to rest his chin on your shoulder. "You'd probably fall off and smack that pretty face of y'rs on the floor."

"I would not—You know what," you stooped from saying anything further to the man grinning behind your ear. You shift a bit to make yourself comfortable. "Goodnight, Toji. And thank you."

It takes every fiber in his being to not kiss your cheek then and there. Exhaling softly through his nostrils as he lays his head back on the pillow. "No problem, sweetheart."

...who the last time he had someone after your separation was not feeling it at all. You even said he is free to do whatever he wants when moving on to the next minx that caught his attention. You two are adults and shouldn't feel entitled to putting each other on a leash. Despite that, he knew moving on from you wouldn't be easy — especially in the bedroom.

The women he's had after you can only be counted on one hand. No matter how good the fun was with the others, his mind would always crawl back to you. It didn't matter how different their hair was, what they dressed that night, or how fucking good the sex was; you would cloud his mind in some way. They weren't you. They weren't his sweet thing.

...who's extremely perplexed in a nightclub when he sees you. He didn't want to go in the first place until Satoru Gojo barged into his apartment, dragged him out in his best attire, and left Nanami (another victim of Gojo's foolishness) to babysit Megumi and Tsumiki. And it was bad enough that Gojo snaked away from Toji to the dance floor the second they got inside, the raven-haired man almost popping a vein in vexation.

So the older man resorts to just doing the usual gig: walking around before sitting at the bar to ask for a regular beer. He stays there for nearly half an hour, taking sips of his bottle while sweet-talking to the ladies that occasionally find him and give him his number. Things got really loud when the DJ at the discothèque played "Up!" by Lil Vada and DonnySolo, all the party people crowding the floor, bumping and grinding each other while singing the lyrics. It was at this point that Toji had enough of the massive headache growing in his head, so he was about to down his beer and leave the club; Gojo be damned because the fucker could find his own way home and then some.

But midway through putting the beer bottle on his scarred lips, something in Toji's peripheral captures his attention. And his jade eyes go wide at what he sees.

Down to the right side of the dance floor are booths catered to bigger parties, so it's obvious to notice when a single person sits alone on one of the round tables while everyone else is dancing their hearts out. That one person was you, observing the dance floor with your head on your hand resting on the table.

To say that Toji was flabbergasted by the image of you in a place like this after all these years was tough for him to comprehend. Yet what really had him in a chokehold was how stunning you were. From where he stood, he could tell that you dolled yourself quite a bit. Your hair was kept in a style that displayed your face wholly, and you were wearing a beautiful halter-neck dress with slits revealing your thighs deliciously.

He forgets how to breathe when your eyes drift in his direction and find him. You're just as surprised as he is for a short moment, but you offer him a familiar smile and beckon him to come to your side of the club. The older man wastes no time, paying the bartender and making his way through the crowd to your table. When he's close enough, he can tell that your dress is backless, exposing your smooth skin that calls for him to touch.

And when Toji notices the ring on your left hand — the old wedding ring he gifted you — the world around him comes to a complete standstill.

"Hey, big guy." He snaps back to look at your beautiful face, your smile still there to blind him, and the booth far from the dance floor and music so he can listen to your sweet voice. You move to the side to make room for him to sit. "Didn't think I'd find you here."

"Me neither." He admits to you as he takes a seat, his green orbs never leaving your figure. "What are you doin' here?"

"Some friends dragged me out here for one of their birthdays. I figured I'd be here for a few hours and loosen up a bit, you know? But I don't know, I guess I'm just so used to being at my place that I'm out of practice with clubs."

Toji nods at your answer. "Yeah, I was dragged here, too. I'm with—"

"Gojo? Yeah, I thought so. He's right there dancing with my friends." He pans around to the dance floor to see commotion at the center. The snow-haired man was dancing as a crowd formed around him, getting grinded on by a woman with a "happy birthday" headband.

Gojo notices the raven-headed man staring his way, pulls down his shades, and winks. That's when the reason why Toji was brought here in the first place hits him. Gojo knew you would be here tonight because of your friend's birthday. And now that you two are sitting alone, the wink signaled Toji to make his move.

"....Wanna get the hell outta here?"

You giggle at his suggestion. "Yeah, I don't feel like watching my friends get pregnant on the dance floor."

Toji snickers and grabs your hand to lead you out of the booth. He then drapes his denim jacket over your shoulders to cover your exposed shoulders and back, and the two of you leave the club without anyone noticing a thing.

...who spends the rest of the night with you as if you two are on a date again. It's late, so many shops around the area are closed already, but that doesn't stop the two of you from having fun. From sharing a meal at a nearby diner, walking around a shopping plaza admiring the silent ambiance, and listening to old tunes in his car as you two share stuff about your day while holding hands. And the change of mood completely baffles Toji. Nevertheless, when he sees the smile on your face and hears the sweet tune of your laughter, the grasp on your hand gets tighter with every minute. All his intentions go into enjoying having you with him like this again.

...who stays by your side until he has to drop you off at your place, parked his car to walk you to your apartment door. It's 1 o'clock in the morning, way later than Toji ever intended to stay out. Not that it matters now, because it's all worth it being able to walk with you. He doesn't let go of your hand even when his heart dies a little when you two arrive at your door.

"Had a good time?" You ask while unlocking the door; your eyes showcase subtle exhaustion but are overshadowed by your smile.

"Sure as hell did since I saw you at the club." He confesses, your chuckles casting a spell on him.

"Hmm, I'm glad you were there too, Toji." You meant those words, your eyes gazing into his, and the man's plunged deep into your gorgeous orbs. A feeling that he now realizes he wants to be the only one experiencing with you.

An awkward silence for a few seconds prompts you to snatch your hand away from his, causing his stomach to drop. "Sorry, your jacket" is what you use to excuse yourself, moving to take off the denim jacket. But Toji stops you, his hands stationed on your shoulders to keep you still.

"No, it's cold, sweetie." His voice is hushed, only for you to hear. "You can give it back next time."

Silence comes back again, but the air is heavier this time. The awkwardness is replaced with something more solicitous, more affectionate. You notice it when Toji has yet removed his hands from your shoulders, his large palms warming you up to the touch.

"Toji—"

"It's alright, baby." His gruff tone is still a whisper, and butterflies flutter in your stomach. "I won't do anythin'."

"No, no," you don't know what came over you, but you place your hands on his chest. Then your finger touches something from underneath his turtleneck, having you pull his collar down to pull out the dog-tag necklace that still harbors his old wedding ring. Toji's blood shifts to ice cold when you see the accessory — his anxiousness spikes up to an all-time high, only mere seconds from combusting based on whatever your response will be. And it comes.

"I...I want you to do something, Toji." It felt strange saying those words with your shaky confidence, though it's what you wished to express. "I want you..."

And just like that, whatever restraint that the older man had for you was butchered away. Emerald eyes take in every feature of your anticipating expression, and his lips come crashing down on yours.

...who couldn't care less how late it is right now because he finally has you where he wants you after all these years. It's 2:30 in the morning, way too late for loud noises as they'll disrupt the neighbors next door. But, again, Toji doesn't care about that. When he finally has you lying under him on your stomach, screaming out his name while he drives his cock deep inside you, what is there to care about?

The two of you are in the prone bone position, where you lie flat on your belly on the cream-white satin sheets of your bed, your legs in between Toji's and bare ass out for him to have easy access to your creamy cunt that hugs onto him all so well.

Tears paint your wet and sweaty face, drool escapes from the corner of your mouth and meets the sheets beneath you. The harsh thrusts of Toji's pelvis hitting your ass with such precision have you see stars, and his big hands keep your arms still. All you can hear are the ecstatic cries of your voice and the noises of skin smacking together.

"Nnmph!! Haaaah!! Ahhhh, yesssss, Daddy, just like that," your voice feels strained from all the screaming you've been doing for the past hour. Lips are swollen from the constant biting, your butt stinging from the intense contact with your ex-husband's pelvis. It's hard to think of anything but the man above you and his dick rearranging your slit like his personal toy. You never thought you'd experience this exhilarating and rewarding sensation again. And now that you do, it's all you want to indulge in. "H-Harder, pleaseeee, I want mo—Ahhhnnn!"

Toji grinds his hips down to your ass, churning your insides and grazing your cervix to the point of incoherent babbles. "Mmmm, oooh, shit, fuckin' shit. You're too tight on me, mama." He gives you a sharp thrust when you least expect it, and the walls of your chasm clamping down on his length has him hiss. It's hard to believe you're permitting him to have you like this. It's been five years. Five years of respectful boundaries and keeping a platonic relationship. Five years of denying feelings of want and desire. All those years of heavy guilt suddenly lifted from his shoulders just for him to have you under his bow again, your body quivering and voice shaky because of his touch.

It feels so surreal...But, God, Toji missed this so goddamn much. Missing your eyes, your smile, your touch, your body. Just you. Only you. "Hnnngh!! Damn, you feel so fuckin' good, baby. Can never have enough..."

"Mnnaaaah! Daddy, I'm gonna cummm, I'm gonna—Oooohh!!" The tip of his shaft scrapes the upper walls of your vagina, your brain pounding so hard to the point it hurts. "Pleaseee, let me cum, Daddyyy..."

He can tell you're close and senses your orgasm climbing up with his. That's when the pace of his hips goes erratically fast, jabbing your sweet spots and tender cervix, causing more tears to come down and your peak to finally release for the third time that night. As you cream on his cock, Toji's not too far from his own crescendo. Your velvety walls contract around his member divinely, and the older man spills his load into your quivering figure.

You're allowed to experience the aftershocks of your orgasm as you two let your bodies calm down, Toji laying his chest on your sweaty, heaving back. He then slowly removes his dick from your chasm, and the essence of your unioned sex feels cold while sliding down your inner thighs.

"Haaaaah...Mmmm, thank you, Toji." You whimper out as he lays kisses down your neck and shoulders. "Thank you..."

But little did you know that it wasn't the last of it. Before you could apprehend what was going on, Toji already had you flipped over to your back, stationing your legs on his shoulders to a mating press. And you see that his cock is not limp yet...

W-Wait a damn second—

"T-Toji, wait, hold on!" You try to rationalize with the man who aligns his shaft to your gushing vulva, and your sweat runs cold. "It's getting late. I just came three times already! We should—Nmmmph!!"

The head of his cock slides right in thanks to the slick and come lubricating your opening. Adding his weight onto you as he pushes his length deep into your chasm again, you cry choked sobs when he meets your cervix again, and his pelvis rubs against your clitoris. "Sorry, mama. Just lemme finish here, 'kay? Daddy missed havin' you like this, so I wanna give you all of me while I still can."

...who has your fatigued self lying on his chest, rubbing circles on your back and placing soft kisses on your forehead as you feel the effects of sleep slowly creep up on you. The lights are now off, the moonlight bargaining from the curtains being the only light source as you two are ready to gather whatever amount of sleep you can get.

"Hey, baby." But before that, Toji wants your attention for the last time before you sleep.

"Mhmm?" Your eyes are closed, but your ears are still open to listen.

His eyes drift down to the left hand that lays motionless on his chest. The gem on the ring flashes softly for it to be distinguishable. "How come you were wearin' your ring at the club?"

A few seconds go by before you give him the honest truth. "Same reason you wear yours. I always wear it when going out somewhere or alone someplace. Gives people the idea that I'm not ready for anyone else."

"Then why not wear it when I'm around?"

You giggle breathlessly. "Same reason why you don't let me see yours. I don't need a ring when I have you with me. A ring doesn't compare to my big man who will love and protect me wherever we go."

And Toji doesn't ask anything else after that. He lets you fall asleep in his arms and listens to your breathing follow a melodic rhythm. Your words stick with him even when his eyes close, and he soon falls into a deep sleep.

It's far-fetched to think that you two will be married again. Maybe it's possible in his dreams, but not in the real world. Regardless, Toji knows he will always stand beside you and be there for you. With or without a ring that's merely evidence of your love to outsiders. He knows you love him, and that's all he needs to keep moving. And if he could have you as his wife again, he'd sweep you off your feet in a heartbeat.

[star-girl69]

Let Me Love You Like A Woman

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

synopsis: you and clarisse broke up two months ago, and when you’re selected to go on a mission together, clarisse just wants you to let her love you.

a/n: i feel feelings about this one….. anyways i hope you all enjoy!!

Let Me Love You Like A Woman - Lana Del Rey

******i want to make this clear: there is absolutely NO smut in this fic. terms like “fuck buddies” and “friends with benefits” are used but only bc i cant think of anything else lmao. all they do is makeout and it is suggestive at times but there is NO SMUT

warnings: this is so bad tbh, what is clarisse doing, she’s so confused my little ladybug, y/n my other ladybug is confused too, OH MY GOD THERES ONLY ONE BED, swearing, hate make out sessions but the hate is one sided, kissing obvi!, deep talks about our feelings which is hard for clarisse, angst, mentions of death blood and monsters, lovesick!! slightly desperate!!! clarisse my cutesy little ladybug, exes/enemies w benefits so like mentions of sex and such, very suggestive lol, as an actual server the restaurant scene hurt me to write lol, but for the plot, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

The Big House is the one place in camp you’re really unfamiliar with. It’s not like you haven’t been there before, it’s just you don’t go there that often.

And unknown places scare you.

There’s hiding places you don’t know about, blind spots you aren’t aware of- corners and small secrets and rules that you haven’t learned yet.

You make your way up the steps and through the porch, the familiar part- you pass by the infirmary and the random office no one uses- until you make it to the connected gondola Chiron and Mr. D. spend most of their time at.

You’re about to turn and enter when a familiar figure appears in front of you.

It hurts to think about how you’ll always know it’s her.

She seems just as shocked to see you but covers it up quickly.

“Y/N,” she smirks, looking you up and down.

You stop, go to turn around and march off in the other direction when you remember you can’t.

Clarisse La Rue doesn’t deserve the dirt under your feet, even though she would probably eat it if you asked- charmspeak used or not.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, and she frowns. You never really called her by her name when you dated, and you know it bothers her now to hear you say it.

That’s exactly why you do it, of course, but the part of you that knows everything about her and will always love her squeezes at the sight of her poorly-hidden sad face.

She’s been slipping up lately. It warms your heart to know that’s because of you.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, genuinely curious.

As a cabin leader, it’s not unusual for Clarisse to be here. But she knows you’re scared of the unknown, and she knows it’s just not in your routine to come here.

“Dunno,” you shrug. “Got called here.”

Her eyes light up. “How funny, so did I.”

You roll your eyes, fighting against the parts of your body that want to run towards her and the parts that want to run away. Instead, you listen to your brain and feel her staring at you as you turn the corner into the gondola.

“Y/N, Clarisse,” Chiron greets with a pleasant smile, setting down a hand of cards face-down. You almost laugh at Mr. D’s disappointed look- Chiron isn’t the trainer of demigods for no reason.

“Yeah, yeah, welcome,” Mr D says, seeming entirely uninterested. You both stand there slightly awkwardly.

Chiron is known to be blunt, so he of course jumps right in.

“We have a mission for the two of you.”

“The two of us? Like, just the two of us?”

The words come out before you can stop them, fingers twisting together and mouth slamming shut. You’re fine, you try to tell yourself, even though your mind and body agree on one thing- being too close to Clarisse will just lead you right back to her.

Clarisse tries to hide her hopeful smile, but you see through it. You loved her for so long, of course you see through it.

“Uh… yes,” Chiron says. You clench your fists.

Mr D seems interested now, especially after your outburst.

“Oh,” he laughs. “I see.” He gestures between the two of you, “there’s bad blood.”

Chiron presses his lips together.

“Nothing that doesn’t make us capable of going on this mission,” Clarisse says, taking a step forward. She smiles at you, but doesn’t make a move to touch you. At least she knows some limits, even if they don’t matter now.

“Well,” Chiron continues, seeming to regret his decision but deciding it’s too late. “Y/N. Your charmspeak, I feel, will be extremely important to this mission. And, Clarisse, daughter of Ares- your skills in battle are nothing to scoff at. There is an item I require the retrieval of. A friend left it in a P.o. box in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. The journey is not particularly perilous, but being a demigod carries an affinity for danger.”

You nod, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I trust the two of you will be able to put aside your… ‘bad blood’ and complete your mission?”

Maybe this mission will be good for you. It certainly nowhere near the kleos of a quest, but more so gives you bonus points with Chiron. That could be helpful.

Clarisse looks at you.

“Oh, yes. Don’t worry.”

—-

“Y/N.”

You walk away from Clarisse pointedly, hoping she’ll take the hint.

You’ve decided you’ll do this quest. If you ever did want to be a cabin leader in the future- you either had to be well liked or the best. As a daughter of Aphrodite, you were already well liked- conversation and flattery came as easy to you as breathing.

Even before you learned how to use your charmspeak, you could sweet talk almost anyone into doing whatever you wanted. You really needed an A on that test? A few tears and some master manipulation- suddenly that A was yours.

But, Chiron needed to like you too.

You do this quest for him- which he choose you for- and then you earn even more of his respect.

It was such a simple exchange. It could be such a simple exchange, except if the girl hot on your heels wasn’t your partner.

She finally manages to grab your wrist and whip you back around so you’re facing her.

She smiles.

“I’ll always catch you, you know. No use in running, really.”

“At least I’ll go down fighting,” you say, looking anywhere but her eyes like portals that suck you in. She’s so close to you.

If this was the before you would wrap your arms around her neck and hers would go to your waist. Even if you were mad at her, she would press her body close to yours and kiss the corner of your lips- Clarisse made it her life’s mission to know every inch of you, and she succeeded. She would know the exact way to calm you down and get you to look at her and hear her out.

And most of the time you were being dramatic, or simply joking, and then she would kiss you and it would all be fine again.

Except it’s not the before. It’s the after, and your heart hurts being so close to her.

“What do you want, Clarisse?” you sigh.

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

Your chest blazes. “Go talk to literally anyone else.”

Her face hardens.

“How many times do I have to tell you before you understand that you are the only person I care about?”

You rip your hand away from her grip.

“Shut up,” you hiss, turning and walking away.

“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow at the gates,” you can feel her smile. “And then I’ll see you all on our mission, huh?”

“You’re crazy!”

—-

You walk into the Hermes cabin and fall face first onto your best friend Marley’s bed.

She looks up from her book and laughs.

“Oh, babe, what happened?” she asks, scratching the back of your scalp as you pull yourself up into your elbows and place your head in her lap.

“Mission,” you groan.

She stops. “A mission? For Chiron? Gods, Y/N that’s amazing-”

“With Clarisse.”

She takes her hand away from your scalp and moves to your chin, lifting you up.

As much as Clarisse hurt you and you hate her, Marley had always had a special sort of hatred for her. Even when you were happy and dating- you would tease her that maybe she’s actually a daughter of Ares, seeing how angry she was.

She was always overprotective, she insisted she just had a bad feeling about her- but eventually she stopped and you thought you could have it all.

“I’m sorry,” Marley laughs. “I don’t think I heard you right.”

You put your lips right up to her ear.

“MISSION WITH CLARISSE-”

“Y/N!” she yells and pushes you away, groaning as she holds her ear. “My ears are bleeding now, oh my Gods-”

“You’ll be fine,” you groan, settling back into her lap. “I’m the one who actually has to go with her.”

“Actually?” she whispers after a tense moment. “You actually have to go with her?”

“It’s fine,” you mumble.

“It’s not. Maybe I-I can talk to Chiron, or maybe I could come with you, huh?”

“No, thanks, Marls. It’s alright, really.”

She stares down at you, head tilted slightly to the side. Marley has always been exceptionally good at hiding her emotions. But you can tell she’s angry. She’s scared.

She’s your best friend and you will always love her in the most special way.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispers.

The Hermes cabin is always a bustle of activity. But when you’re just here with Marley, it’s the two of you. It’s perfect. It’s what you’ve always wanted- selfishly- to feel special. You feel special with her eyes on you, your head in her lap. She’s your best friend.

You put your hand on her face.

“As much as I hate it, we both know Clarisse won’t let anything happen to me. I’ll be safe.”

“Yeah, but what if she does something to you?”

What if she does absolutely nothing and you fall in love with her all over again?

You always thought that all that stuff about feeling your heart physically break couldn’t be true- but you know it is. You felt it break and every time you look at Clarisse and it can’t be like it was before your heart breaks a little more.

Clarisse acted like you were some big secret that was a chore to hide, and then when you were in her arms she would call you the prettiest girl. It was like whiplash, feeling her touch so tenderly and then not even being allowed to look at her in public. And you wanted so badly to tell everyone that she was yours and you were hers- but she just couldn’t.

And you don’t care about the reason behind that, not after that one night, not after she told you she could never love you.

She doesn’t really want you. She acts like she does, but she only misses you on the surface. Sure, you miss her body, but you miss your late night talks and the way she was always there to protect you, the way she made you feel. You like the person you are with her.

She wants an idea of you, she wants you under her, she wants power and control.

You think maybe a part of her really does regret losing you that night. But, she laid it all out that night. What she feels doesn’t make up for what she said. She doesn’t love you because she’s insecure, because she’s self-serving and power hungry.

She makes you feel stupid waiting for her, but why would you wait for someone else when you could wait for her to come back? You don’t like the unknown, and Clarisse is the one thing you really know.

You look into Marley’s eyes now.

“It will be good for me,” you whisper. “I’ll earn Chiron’s respect.”

Marley kisses your cheek.

“I know. I just don’t want you to go, and I know that makes me selfish but- still.”

“I know, Marls. I know,” you whisper. But this will be good for you, and it’s already been done. You already accepted it.

Marley helps you pack and you watch her anger. You watch her roughness, you watch the fire in her eyes- and Gods, does it make you feel special to have a friend like her.

You only wish you could make Clarisse feel like that too.

—-

The bus ride is boring.

Clarisse, for some merciful reason, decides not to torture you and instead throw her dagger up and down.

But you’re bored.

You’ve been reading a book Marley lended you, something boring and wonderfully distracting about the history of the four wind gods- you think about the wind and not about the way Clarisse’s thigh is pressed up next to yours.

It’s only been two months.

As much as you hate it, you won’t even admit it to Marley, but you’ll admit it to yourself in the quietness of the back of the bus.

You close the book and stuff it into your backpack.

You miss her.

“I’m bored,” you announce before you can second guess yourself.

“Okay,” Clarisse hums, picking at a speck of hardened dirt on her dagger. “I know a lot of things we could do to remedy that.”

Your cheeks flush, but you hold your ground. “I’m not going to kiss you. One, it smells like shit back here and two, we’re not dating anymore.”

“True, but doesn’t that just make it more fun?”

“What?”

Her hand moves to your thigh and you let yourself sink into the before.

“We aren’t supposed to- your best-fuckin’-friend would skin me alive. But we both know you want to.”

“I don’t want my lips anywhere near you.”

She just smiles at you, and you suddenly realize you’ve been staring into her eyes this entire time.

She takes her hand off of you and turns away, and this part of you aches so badly for the before- but it’s after. But she doesn’t love you and she just wants you.

But you want her too. You want her so bad, and maybe if you just let yourself sink into her one more time then you can move on. One good goodbye and you’ll be fine.

“Take a nap, then,” she suggests. “We still have another hour before the next rest stop, I’ll wake you up.”

“Okay,” you mumble, a part of you loathing listening to her, but a nap sounds good.

—-

You sleep the best you ever have since you broke up.

Clarisse was always sneaking into your bed, or you into hers, and she was always so warm and made you feel so safe. You always slept with her. And while you could still fall asleep fine without her- it just wasn’t the same.

You wake up to the sound of the bus doors opening and people talking around you.

“Y/N,” Clarisse whispers. “Wake up.”

You realize your head is on her shoulder.

You push her away from you, she just laughs and stands up.

“So stubborn,” she mumbles, leaning down to dig into her bag for the money Chiron gave you.

You resist the urge to say something snarky back, instead choosing to squeeze past her and out into the aisle.

She’s following behind you in a second, her bag zipping up and getting thrown back under the seat.

She’s right up in your ear.

“I know you hate me,” she whispers. “But you can’t just go running off. What if there was a monster right outside the doors?”

The two of you step off of the bus, the bright sunshine making your squint.

You pull up your shirt and pat your hip where your dagger rests.

“I’d kill it.”

You both know you probably couldn’t.

She laughs. “Is that the dagger I gave you?”

Your face freezes but you keep walking into the rest stop.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huff.

She sticks her fingers through the loop of your jeans and pulls you into an aisle filled with chips. You suddenly find a bag of Cheetos very interesting.

She looks at your face, into your eyes, and traces her fingers over the dagger’s handle.

“Hm, mine.”

You miss her so bad. You never knew it was possible to miss someone this much. You miss her body and her mind and her voice. You miss her hands and her lips and the way she made you feel.

You don’t pull away. How can you pull away?

It was easy to ignore her when she wasn’t right in front of you, but there’s this part of you that loves her and wants to believe her. Then there’s another part that wants to see her suffer like she did to you.

You push her off of you. “Don’t touch me.”

Again, she just smiles, and that’s really starting to piss you off.

—-

You’re somewhere in the middle of Pennsylvania at a bus stop, waiting to cross the lonesome highway to the other side of the street where a train station awaits you.

“Are you okay?” Clarisse asks, and you realize she’s already stepped out onto the road and you’ve been staring off into nothing. You quickly follow her, half running across the road until you get to the sweet, sweet air conditioned station.

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

In reality, you have to keep yourself distracted so you don’t fall back into her. You’ve decided it not about whether or not you love or want to hear her out- it’s about the way she kisses you and the way her skin feels against yours.

You can want her, here, where no one will know.

You’ll swear her to secrecy, and she’ll shut up just for the chance of more. And you don’t know if you’ll give it to her.

The station is oddly busy.

You have this horribly uneasy feeling.

You make your way into the line anyways, snatching the tickets from where they’re scrunched up in her hand, trying your best to flatten them again.

She laughs. You refuse to feel the way it makes your heart ache. You think about the other reasons she makes your heart ache.

You see something, shiny and black out of the corner of your eye. When you look over, the indented entrance to a janitor’s closet is marked in shadows.

But you trust yourself.

“I think I just saw something,” you whisper.

She still makes you feel safe. She’s one of the most talented warriors at camp and she loves you- even Marley admitted she won’t let anything happen to you.

She follows your gaze. And she doesn’t see anything.

“Okay,” she murmurs. She trusts you too. Her eyes flick between the shortening line and the shadows. “Maybe one more minute then we’re on the train.”

“Yeah,” you agree, slipping your hand into hers. You can hear her inhale sharply. She’s not phased by a potential monster, but you holding her hand makes her face flush.

Why is she so fucking confusing?

As far as you can tell, she just wants to be fuck buddies- so why is she blushing as you hold her hand?

She squeezes your hand, and Clarisse is right, you make it to the front of the line. The man checks your tickets and hole punches them, welcoming you back into the outdoors.

You look over your shoulder, and something shiny reflects in the sunlight, still in the shadows of the building.

“Clarisse.”

She seems to see it too.

“I can’t tell what it is,” you say.

She tugs you along. “I don’t want to find out.”

When you finally step foot onto the train you take your hand from Clarisse’s and look down at the tickets. Cabin 4A. It’s near the front, so you find it fairly quick- just a simple one room cabin.

You quickly barricade yourself inside, drawing the curtains and setting your stuff on the floor.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“That was tense,” you mutter. Clarisse holds her wrist. She nods, staring down at your feet before sighing.

Somehow, it’s six o’clock. You dig into your snacks, neither of you feeling like leaving the safety of the cabin to go to the dining cart.

The train car has two benches facing each other, overhead storage and a large window. There’s practically no room in between the two benches- the car is maybe 5 feet wide.

You miss Marley. You could always talk to her from across the pavilion during a meal- entire conversations with just your eyes. You miss your siblings, their conversation filling up the silence. Here, there’s nothing.

It’s so silent, and yet it’s that comfortable silence with Clarisse. It makes you miss the before.

That’s all you’ve been doing- missing things and wishing they were different.

The train starts and you stare out the window, the rolling hills and the trees and the small creek. You can feel Clarisse looking at you. You try your best to ignore the way her gaze makes you feel- but you’re alone in this cabin. There’s no one else here. There’s no one else to know if you give in one time.

Something slams against the door.

You breathe in and Clarisse grabs her spear.

“Should I open it?” you whisper, standing up. She sticks out her spear to stop you from moving forward.

The two of you listen, but nothing else happens.

It wasn’t a knock. It sounded sort of like a ball being kicked into the door.

“I’m opening it,” you decide, curiosity killing you, pushing Clarisse’s spear aside.

“Y/N,” she warns, but you’ve already slid open the door.

Absolutely nothing is there. You look out the adjacent windows, down the hallways lined with red carpet.

You shrug. “Nothing’s here-”

It’s cold and scaly when it lands on you.

The same black shiny thing you saw, it’s slithering around your neck, cutting off your air supply immediately. You can’t even scream you’re too scared, hands clawing at your neck but it squeezes and one of its heads rears up to attack your chest-

Clarisse’s spear sails right through its raised head.

It drops, you fall back, gasping, watching as she pins it under her boot and lifts the spear out of it. It’s wriggling and trying to break free- but she stabs it through its other head.

It’s an amphisbaena. A horrible, scaly black snake-sort of thing with a head on each end.

You rub your chest, swallowing a lump in your throat as Clarisse casually picks up the now dead monster and opens the adjacent emergency exit window in the hallway- throwing it out into the middle of nowhere.

She turns back around, frowning at the blood coating the ends of her spear-

You slam into her. You’re breathing so heavily, you still feel like it’s around your neck, but Clarisse carefully wraps her arms around your waist, letting you lean against her as your shaky hands massage your neck.

No one would know.

Her spear falls to the floor.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s dead,” she whispers, kicking the cabin door closed with her foot.

No one would know.

“Thank you,” you breathe. “Oh, Gods, thank you, Clarisse.”

“No problem,” she says.

No one would know.

“Clar,” you mumble. She stiffens at the nickname. She tenderly brings one hand up to your face, and she wants you just as much as you want her- that’s all this is about. An exchange. You’ll kiss her for the last time and you’ll finally get over her.

“I know,” she mumbles, she feels the burning in her stomach too. You’re connected by that in this one moment, your mutual desire and need. Except she has a need for a new beginning, and you have a need for an end.

It’s so simple.

You both can get what you want from this trip.

“I know,” she says again, her nose touching yours. Your breaths mix in the air. “I know, I miss you so much… so bad, Y/N, you don’t…”

“Show me,” you whisper against her lips, and she does.

You can feel it all, the regret you don’t care about, and the desire and want and need you do care about.

You need to feel more of that. You need to feel special, so when your back hits the the door and her hands are all over you, you tilt your head back and look up at the ceiling, mouth twisted into a moan.

You need her to make you feel special. You don’t feel special without her, without her rough hands and her soft lips. It’s the one trait from your mother that you somewhat despise- the innate need to be the center, to be the focus, to feel special. She’s the only one who has ever made you feel like this.

No one else will ever come close.

“I hate you,” you breathe. You can’t think, all your walls are down. “I hate you so much and I still…. I still…”

She kisses you again so you don’t have to say it.

—-

The bed is scratchy and uncomfortable, but there’s only one- and it’s so tiny you’re pressed right up against Clarisse. She doesn’t wrap her arm around you, even though you wish she would, if only because you’re cold.

Not because you’re still irrecoverably in love with her and you know she won’t. And even if she does, it won’t be in the way you want it.

How can she kiss you like she loves you yet claim she never will? How can one kiss make you so weak in the knees that you’re genuinely considering doing this for any scrap of her you can get?

You stare up the ceiling for a long time, until you come to that weird space where you’re so tired you can’t move and your eyes are closed, but you’re still awake.

She wraps her arm around your waist and kisses your temple.

—-

The next time she kisses you you’ve gotten used to this whole making out with no strings thing.

You’re about to get off the train, so you tidy your stuff and head to the dining cart for pretty pastries and bagels and some fruit. On your way back, maybe 15 minutes left in your ride, someone in a uniform sees two teenage girls heading alone into a room.

When he asks where your parents are, can he see your tickets, you panic and charmspeak him to forget he ever saw this and walk away.

“Close,” you laugh, and Clarisse mumbles some sort of noncommittal agreement before smashing her lips onto yours.

You gasp but kiss her back, just reveling in having her hands on you. Her hands tangle in your hair, tugging back so she has better access to your neck- the side of it already sporting a hickey from last night.

“Did I ever tell you how fucking hot you are when you use your charmspeak?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, because you can’t think of anything when her lips are on your neck.

—-

The station is luckily only 20 minutes away from the P.o. box, so the walk is quick through the streets of Myrtle Beach. It’s so loud here. There’s cars constantly whizzing past you, people yelling and honking, sirens in the distance. It’s confusing. It’s so different from Camp.

“I fucking hate this place,” you mumble, fidgeting with a loose string on your backpack.

“I do too,” Clarisse answers, but not for the same reasons. Her eyes whip around, searching for anything hiding in the shadows- but the sky is so blue and the sun makes your skin so warm- it seems unfathomable that any monsters would be here.

Of course, they’re here. They just haven’t come out yet.

Clarisse has been angry at the world for as long as you can remember, but you always thought her roughness balanced out with your softness. Ares and Aphrodite, love and war, peace and violence.

You always thought you could bring out that little bit of softness in her.

“On your left!”

Clarisse drags you out of the way just for a man on a bike to speed past you- your eyes flick to the perfectly usable bike lane on the street.

“Asshole,” you mutter.

“Asshole!” Clarisse shouts after him at the same time. He flips you off and continues shouting at more people to move.

Her hand is digging into your arm. She lets go after she huffs, muttering a few more choice words.

She keeps glaring at every honking car and random pedestrian. You roll your eyes when she yells at some random car to go die, laughing.

“Always fuckin’ honking,” she mutters. You know if she ever got behind the wheel, she would do the exact same thing.

“You’re not any better,” you tell her, nudging her hand that’s currently balled up into a fist.

“Yeah, well, I have a reason to be mad.”

Clarisse is angry at the world, but you know she has reasons. She’s not just angry for the sake of being angry, although she finds comfort in the familiar just like you, she is angry at the world that has done nothing but wrong her time and time again.

Sometimes you wish you could have as much fire in you as her. And two months ago, you thought she had enough fire in her for the both of us.

“Why don’t we grab the box and then go to lunch?” you suggest, getting the feeling that Clarisse is about to explode. She looks at you. “We have a few hours until our train back, hm?”

“Yeah, okay.”

—-

Chiron said this mission wasn’t going to be that dangerous, but you are surprised when it really is that easy. You take the key out from the envelope Chiron gave you, opening the blue box and coming out with a small box. It almost looks like some sort of fancy necklace- a long black box with a silver bow on the outside.

“This feels too easy,” Clarisse says as you lean down to carefully place it in your bag.

You shrug. “You’re always so paranoid, just let it all come naturally. Some things are easy, Clar.”

She stares at you for a moment.

“I guess,” she says, sticking out her hand to help you up before you both make your way back out onto the streets.

Her spear is hidden by the mist, strapped to her back, and you’re sure she has a bunch of little daggers strapped all over her. You scan the busy street.

Clarisse snorts at a restaurant called “Mother Earth Green Food” and her eyes light up at the sight of a 80’s style diner- “Mr. Steve’s Burgers and Bacon”.

“We’re going there,” she declares, and you roll your eyes but follow her across the street. It’s not that busy, seeing as it’s still early, so you’re seated quickly. It feels so good and so wrong to be here across from her like this.

It feels like before. Except some sort of alternate reality, where you actually left camp and got to be like this. You still want her and your trip’s not over yet, so you sink into it.

“Hey guys, I’m Miley and I’ll be your server today. What can I get you for drinks?”

She’s got long dirty blonde hair, tied up in two very neat and impressive space buns. Her skin is tan, but you suppose if she lives near the beach then everyone’s skin is tan, really.

“I really like your hair,” you tell her, pointing to the side of her head. She smiles and bounces one of them in her hand.

“Took me forever,” she chuckles. “I love yours, such a pretty color.” You cheeks blush as you thank her.

She smiles at you and goes off to get them, so you turn back to your menu. Clarisse’s foot taps against the floor.

“What are you thinking of getting?”

She sets her menu down and points to some sort of monstrous burger called “The Bomb.”

You laugh. “The Bomb,” you mock. “Will it explode in your stomach, or something?”

She mumbles something under her breath, staring off towards the counter, and you can tell by the look on her face it’s not anything nice.

“What was that?”

She presses her lips together. “Nothing,” she hums.

You shoot her an odd look but she pointedly looks away, and as much as you want to, you decide not to push.

Miley comes back with your drinks, and you thank her as she sets them down. Clarisse mumbles a thank you too after you kick her foot.

“Okay, and what can I get you guys to eat today?”

You have to kick Clarisse again to remind her to say please.

You smile apologetically up at Miley for Clarisse’s sour mood, but she seems not to care, smiling back at you and saying something about how she’ll make sure it’s out quick for you.

“‘I’ll make sure it comes out quick for you,’” Clarisse mocks, her voice a pitch higher.

“Yeah. Isn’t she so nice? And yet here you are treating her like shit.”

“She’s sucking up for a good tip.”

“Or maybe she’s just nice, Clarisse. There are nice people in the world, you know. Not everyone is all dark and brooding or bitchy.”

The silences stretches for a second too long. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

You hum, sitting on your hands and staring out the window. It’s times like this your miss your mortal childhood, having access to electronics meant you were never bored. You debate taking out the book Marley loaned you, but you don’t get the chance to.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Clarisse announces. “Come with me.” She’s already walking away.

“Who’s gonna watch our stuff?”

“Tell fuckin’ Miley to do it, I don’t care.”

You look around. There’s not many people in the restaurant, and you’re curious and bored- so you follow her. The door swings closed behind her, and it takes you a second to follow her in.

You think she’s disappeared, the bathroom empty with two open stalls. The door is kicked closed behind you. You turn around and Clarisse pushes you into the nearest bathroom, her hands on your waist- you moan in surprise, letting her flip the two of you around and press you against the door, her hand leaving your waist to make quick work of the lock.

“Clarisse,” you breathe. “What’s going on?”

“Do you want me to stop?”

You don’t answer and she kisses you deeper.

—-

“Clarisse.”

She’s been smiling at your neck a little too obviously, and when she finally lets you out from under her lips and hands, you immediately turn around and head for the mirror.

“Clarisse,” you repeat.

She’s looking at you in the mirror and smiling. Actually fucking smiling.

“What is wrong with you?!” you yell, turning on the cold water and frantically bringing it to the red hickies on your neck. “Are you a vampire? Oh, my Gods, Clarisse, this is so fucking embarrassing!”

“It’s not,” she huffs. “You’ll be fine.”

“Cl-” but she’s already left. She really has to stop doing that.

—-

Lunch is fine, you leave Miley a nice tip, even though Clarisse scoffs and mumbles that she wasn’t that good- but you feel so bad that she had to watch you wiggle in your seat, desperately trying to hide your neck as Clarisse ran her foot up and down the side of your leg.

You ignore her the entire walk to the station, she barely hides the smug look on her face. Is she just intent on making you seem stupid and weak? Does she want to embarrass you? She knows. She knows you’re still in love with her and she’s playing you like a fiddle.

You thought Clarisse to be a lot of things, and you know she’s cruel and ruthless- but you never thought she could be this way towards you.

You make it onto the train with no problems, and you’re desperate to just get out of this place and back to camp where you can ignore her. You had one last final hurrah, and now you need to forget her.

You stare pointedly out the window. You ate dinner in the dining cart in silence, Clarisse didn’t try to touch you again, but she seems bored of letting you sulk now that there’s nothing else to entertain her.

It’s only about 7:00 pm- you still have an entire night with her, and a bus ride the next day. Why are the Gods torturing you like this?

“Y/N,” Clarisse says. You’re sitting across from each other. Her foot kicks at yours. “C’mere,” she pats the space next to her on the bench.

You snort. “You’re crazy. I’m not sitting near you.”

She shrugs and stands up, sitting next to you while you gasp in exasperation.

“Bitch,” you mumble, clenching your fists at you stand. She plants her hand on the window, trapping you in with her arm.

“Don’t be mean.”

You fold your arms and stare out the window. She’s right at your shoulder, whispering in your ear even though your alone- it makes you feel so special your head gets all dizzy.

“I want you, Y/N.” Not the way you want her.

“I. Don’t. Care.”

She laughs. You can see her reflection in the mirror, she’s laughing and smiling fondly- staring at you.

You whip around and point your finger at her.

“I won’t let you treat me like a rag doll anymore.”

Her smile falls.

“I used to be something you could just swing around, but I’m not anymore. I won’t ever be a toy for you, Clarisse. These past two days were fun, but they were goodbye. When we get back to Camp I’m getting over you, because I’ve spent too much time waiting for you.”

Her hand falls from the window, and she backs away from you.

—-

When you realize that this train also features another small, single bed, you resist the urge to stomp your feet like a child. Instead, you pretend like it’s all fine, a part of you pretends it’s that alternate before- Clarisse turning around while you change and you leave to brush your teeth and then you come back to her in bed.

You lay down, body unwillingly pressed up against hers. She doesn’t touch you, at least, and it’s tense and silent until she breaks it. Her hand finds yours through the sheets and blankets.

“Y/N.”

You try to shake her hand off of you, mumbling that she’s using your tiredness to manipulate you.

“Do you really think that’s all you were to me?”

You’re frozen, she’s right up against your back, breath tickling your shoulder and voice in your ear again.

Your hand still fits perfectly in hers.

“A toy?”

“What else was I supposed to think?”

She utters the two words you never thought you would hear her say.

“I’m sorry.”

Your breathe hitches.

“I-I know I’ve been stupid, I’m not totally dumb. I just, I had it in my head that I could make you fall in love with me all over again. And then I could do it right, I could fix it, and you could teach me how to love you and I would do it right, Y/N. And then I… I got jealous. Because that fucking server was flirting with you, she was, and I got fucking jealous and I fucked it all up.”

She’s breathing heavily at your shoulder.

“I was scared, Y/N. And that… I didn’t know how to deal with that. I was scared because I love you so much I know I would do anything you asked me too. So, I said those stupid things that night, I just lied because I was scared, and I’ll never forgive myself for the way I made you feel. I don’t deserve another chance, but I want to show you that I can do it right. I can do it however you want me too, as long as you teach me.”

It’s silent for a moment.

“I want you to let me love you.”

She lets go of your hand.

“You don’t have to say anything, I guess,” she swallows. “I mean, if I was you I would have killed me-”

“Really?” you voice comes out like a broken whisper, sitting up so you can look into her eyes. You try to tell if she’s lying, but you can’t. It hurts and it aches so good and she’s not lying.

“Y-yeah, I would have killed me.”

You smile. “No, dumbass, do you really love me?”

“Oh,” she blinks, sitting up too. “Y/N, I love you so much that I’ll never be the same person again.”

You don’t want to kiss her. All you’ve been doing is kissing her, sinking into that hard and rough side of your relationship that’s just hot desire.

But there’s a soft part to Clarisse that you bring out. And you bring it out now, winding your arms around her neck, breathing heavily as you rest your head on her shoulder. She hugs you, her arms are so strong, she always gives the best hugs- and kisses your temple like she did when she thought you were sleeping.

She loved you even when she didn’t know you would feel it.

Your fingers dig into her back.

“I love you,” she says again, softly, like she’s caressing the words with such a reverence that they were bathed in golden ichor. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too,” you say back, you let her love you, and it’s the most true thing you’ve ever known.

—-

“Ah, young warriors!” Chiron says, holding his hands out.

Of course, on the tail end of your trip you had encountered tons of little monsters- more amphisbaena, even a juvenile drakon that could barely spit acid. Clarisse had made a dazzling show of killing all of them, and unlike the first amphisbaena- none of them got close enough to touch you.

You had to charmspeak the train conductor, the police officer at the station, and the bus driver. You wonder faintly if your mother had been looking out for you, helping you love Clarisse again.

Of course, all of those instances ended in Clarisse pulling you into the nearest corner.

It’s different, now that you know that you live each other. She still kisses you with that rough deepness, like she’s starved, like she’s trying to breathe you in, but her hands are so soft around you. She holds your waist close to you, not like she just wants to feel you body, but like she just wants to be close to you.

You swing your backpack off of your shoulder, you can feel your mascara smeared down your face from the heat, digging into your bag for the black box.

Chiron smiles and holds his hands out for you to place them in. “You have my thanks,” he says, laying the box into his hand.

You’re surprised when all he does is take out a simple pen. It looks like a nice pen, sure, but still just a pen.

He uncaps it, letting it fall to the concrete, when it suddenly transforms into a sword. You yelp and jump back, Clarisse puts her arm in front of you, and Chiron laughs triumphantly.

“Beautiful!” he says, admiring the carefully crafted sword.

Mr. D dissolves into a fit of laughter. “No more bad blood, huh?”

Clarisse drops her hand from where it reaches for her spear, and her other arm from across your body. Her hands drop to her sides, her face turns back into a mask of indifference and she shrugs.

Mr. D seems to find that even more funny, and Chiron dismisses you with a wave of his hand, staring in awe at the silver sword.

Clarisse presses her lips together into a tight line until you smack a kiss on her cheek.

“Love you,” you sing, and her face breaks out into a wide smile. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, and it’s the only thing you ever want to know. All you need to know is her and her love.

—-

marley when she finds out clarisse and y/n are dating again: if you EVER and i mean EVER hurt her again i will torture you in ways not even imagined yet.

clarisse: ok yes i promise 😟😟

—-

clarisse when she realized she was in love with y/n: NO NO NO NO NEW FEELINGS NO I REJECT THIS AND I MUST RUN AWAY IN FACT THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

also clarisse when she realized she just broke up with y/n: OH GODS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO WHAT HAVE I DONE NO NO NO NO PLEASE NO NO NO

—-

honorable mention to y/n fuck em’ and hate em’ l/n

another honorable mention to clarisse “none of them got close enough to hurt you” la rue

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish

@sincerely-silk @lacytalks

—-

pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!

[bbydoll18xx]

Guilty As Sin?

'We've already done it in my head'

Paige Bueckers x reader

I've never written anything, so this could very well be terrible, but I have a teeny tiny crush and it's killing me lol here we go!

word count: 3.1k

warnings: some naughty thoughts, ANGST, friends to lovers aka my fave

....................................................................................................

If there was one thing you had learned throughout your time at uconn, it was that it was pretty fucking difficult being Paige Buecker’s best friend. 

You had met her early in your freshman year when the boisterous blonde was partnered with you in an introductory biology course. You attempted to hold back a groan and an eyeroll as you heard your professor assign the two of you together for an upcoming lab project. You hated group projects, and even more, you could not stand the prospect of not getting a good grade in a class so important for your major. 

Paige, even as a freshman, was extremely popular. Her incessant smirk caused girls to blush under her gaze, and the boys basically broke their necks trying to impress her. She was the type of girl who knew she was hot shit.

Unfortunately, that was your type.

As Paige strolled over to where you were waiting for her, you tried desperately to ignore the uptick of your pulse. ‘Get it together,’ you thought to yourself. Girls like that should have no control over you.

“Hey, I’m Paige. I don’t think we’ve met. I would’ve remembered someone like you,” she murmurs flirtatiously, looking you up and down. Trying to keep the pink out of your cheeks and taking a deep breath, you hold out your hand and introduce yourself. 

That was the beginning of the wildly complex and intimate friendship you would build with Paige.

As a senior in college, you had learned many things: don't drink copious amounts of alcohol without eating some carbs first, avoid getting into ubers alone, do not, under any circumstances, hook up with your TA, and falling in love with your best friend is never good.

It started off innocently enough.

Paige was clingy and affectionate to those she was close with. You, being bisexual and surrounded by mostly straight people before coming to uconn, were hesitant with showing any sort of affection. You had always worried about accidentally giving your girl friends the wrong impression. Paige never cared, though, as she conditioned you into accepting hugs and tentative hand-holding. You grew to crave her warm, longer fingers wrapped around yours or her hand resting on your leg when she’s next to you at dinner or in the car. 

You had realized you were head over heels for her in your sophomore year, and the rest was history.

History you’d very much like to forget.

You were laying on the couch in your apartment. Music filled the room and you basked in the warmth of the sunshine. You rarely have moments of peace anymore, now that school had started back up.

Suddenly, the front door flung open dramatically, allowing several members of uconn’s women’s basketball team to enter as if they owned the place. 

“Hey girlie pop!” screamed KK. “We are going out tonight, and before you say no, you are coming with us.” 

“What happened to bodily autonomy?” You questioned with an eye roll. This happened all the time. Paige and her teammates had made it their personal mission to turn you into an alcoholic.

“Fuck that,” chirped Paige. “You had all week to chill, and I will not stand for that shit for another minute. Party P is comin' out in full force tonight, and I expect the same from yo' ass."

You let your eyes lock with hers. God that shade of blue made you want to drown in it, gasping for sanity as if it was air. 

“C’mon, you always do this. We’re going crazy tonight,” demanded Nika.

Pretending to think about it, you hesitantly agree. You didn’t have any control when it came to Paige. Whatever she wanted from you, she got. You chalked it up to being best friends, but your stupid brain always reminded you of the true source of power.

Paige, Nika, KK, and Azzi all celebrated as you acquiesced, already planning drink orders, outfits, and song requests at the bar they always frequented.

You sighed as Paige sat down next to you. You could handle this. You always did. Focused on anything other than her, you pick at a piece of lint on the soft green couch. Everything seemed to be a distraction from her. The heat of her body sends your pulse racing, just as it did the very first time you met. She really was an enigma.

“I’m glad you’re coming,” she murmurs softly. “Wouldn't be the same if you weren’t there.”

Taking a page out of the Paige playbook, you look her up and down and respond with an “I know.” She momentarily wears a look of shock, before her lips slide into that smirk again, and she laughs. The sound makes you want to run through a field of flowers and then jump from a building.

The pregame was, like always, chaotic, loud, and gave you anxiety. A drunk Paige was a clingy Paige, and you were not sure you could handle the extra touching tonight. One of the bottles of vodka that sat on the counter in the kitchen was beckoning to you, and you decided quickly that the only way you were getting through the night was with copious amounts of alcohol.

As you swallowed with a grimace, feeling the burn slide down your throat and settle into a warm pool in your belly, the door opened. Paige appeared, rubbing her hands together, looking like she was ready to fuck shit up. Your shit already felt ruined as you gulped at the sight of her. The black crop top she had on made you quickly spin around, shooting another shot in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from the hunger that was brewing.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there. We don’t need you wasted before we even leave,” Paige taunts teasingly, as she saunters over to you.

With your cheeks pink and inhibitions already lowered, you licked your lips in a manner you could only hope looked seductive and put the bottle into her outstretched hand. For the second time today, a flicker of surprise graced her features. ‘Good,’ you thought. ‘Two can play that game.’ 

As Ted’s was close to the apartments you all were living in, it was decided that a walk would be more efficient than attempting to wrangle the numerous already drunk girls into ubers.

You cherished the warm breeze flowing through your hair, allowing it to briefly sober you up.  Walking alongside Azzi and Caroline, you let out another small sigh, catching their attention. Your feelings were evident to pretty much everyone except Paige, and her teammates often tried to coax you into admitting your feelings to her. 

“Try to have fun tonight. Find someone hot to grind on, and you’ll feel better,” Azzi said unhelpfully. You laughed, but it wasn't a bad idea. “You’re right. I need a distraction. And preferably someone who is not blonde,” You muttered, causing Azzi and Caroline to giggle. 

Paige’s head whipped around at the sound of laughter. She pouted for a second before bounding over to you. She secretly hated the attention you gave her teammates; she wanted you all to herself.

Paige was possessive, as well as mouthy when drunk, which could be a messy combination. But Paige did not care about being messy tonight. She wanted your attention and your attention only. She knew she could very well embarrass herself, but the desperation of needing your attentiveness was far more important. She could handle her anxieties in the morning. 

“There’s my pretty princess,” Paige announces loudly, taking your hand into hers, almost possessively. The pet name wasn’t unfamiliar. Paige called you every name under the sun except the one on your birth certificate, yet the sudden affection caused your heart to lurch dangerously.

You needed a drink.

The bar was already buzzing when you walked in alongside the girls, still being pulled along by the tall blonde. You were fortunate it was dark inside, allowing a sense of privacy to indulge in the intimacy Paige was supplying to you.

She places a hand on your waist, looking down at you. “Imma get you a drink, babe. Stay here with the girls, and do not let any creeps touch you.” You could tell the few drinks she had at the pregame were already getting to her. She was getting more proprietorial.

You nodded, but you wanted to see how far you could push her. You’d do anything for her attention, even if that meant flirting with a boring guy to test her. She was sexy when she was pissed.

You fantasized about the way her jaw clenches when she's angry, as you scoped out for someone to be the target of your favorite unhealthy game. A six-foot blonde with light blue eyes catches your gaze, and you smirk. ‘Game time,’ you think.

With a smoldering look in your eyes, and the alcohol in your veins to keep you feeling confident, you walk up to the guy and introduce yourself. You find out his name was Josh and quickly shift in closer to him, feigning intimacy you would only ever want with Paige. 

It’s not long before you feel Paige slide between you and Josh, creating the distance you wanted since you walked up to him. 

“Paigey!” you exclaim. “This is Josh. He wants to dance with me.”

You see Paige jaw clench in annoyance and she pushes the drink she brought you into your hand before wrapping her now free arm around your waist with her hand splayed against your belly. You shiver at the contact.

“Go away before I make you, bro. She’s mine,” Paige practically barks at Josh. He shrinks away with a weird expression on his face.

You weren’t sad to see him go.

“Thanks for rescuing me, Paigey,” you beam up at her and take a drink. Paige’s eyes never leave your lips as you bite them, looking around the crowded bar. Your lips are pink from the gloss you just applied, and she thinks about how they’d feel against hers. 

Paige would never admit it aloud, but she thinks about you. She thinks about your dimples when you smile at her. She thinks about your laugh. She thinks about how you taste. In her head, they are together. In her head, you are spread out underneath her, begging for her tongue, her fingers, for anything.

Paige is used to people throwing themselves at her, and the idea of rejection, especially from you, makes her shrink back in fear. 

Paige’s eyes are hazy as the dirty Shirley starts to float its way through her veins. She relishes in the feeling of lowered inhibitions and the perfect excuse to get closer to you. Paige pulls you into her to dance. With the alcohol fully in your system, as well, you giggle and seductively dance against her. You can feel the tight muscles of her abs up against you, and you swallow thickly. It's difficult to ignore the way it makes you feel hot and sticky. 

“God, P,” you mumbled against her pale throat. 

“You look so good dancin’ against me, you don’t even know, babe,” Paige replies with her signature smirk.

You could feel the boundaries of your friendship slowly stretching to accommodate the feelings of lust sparking between the two of you.

Between the dancing and the large amounts of alcohol flowing, the night flew by quickly. Soon, you were getting pulled through the door and back out into the chilly Connecticut air with Paige holding you steady. You were a notorious lightweight compared to the girls of the basketball team, and that hadn’t changed tonight. 

“P-paigeyyy,” you whined needily. “Need you,” you pouted up at the blonde. The other girls in your vicinity shared curious looks with each other. You had never acted like this before whilst drunk, and no one really knew how to respond, Paige included. 

“What do ya need from me, princess?” Paige asked with a chuckle.

You motion for her to lean down, and you whisper in her ear, “kisses.” 

“Oh? You wanna kiss me?” Paige questions, feeling all the blood rush to her head.

You nod with a dreamy look on your face. You were going to regret this in the morning, but right now all you could think about was how soft her lips looked and how much you wished you could be hers.

'We've already done it in my head,' you thought drunkenly.

Paige looks down at you with an unrecognizable look, but she presses a soft kiss on your forehead and says, ‘“let's get you home and to bed, doll.” 

As you stumble back into Paige’s apartment and onto her bed, you look up at her and raise your hands over your head, making grabby hands at her. Paige rolls her eyes fondly but helps you get undressed. Walking you into the bathroom, she lifts you up onto the counter effortlessly, helping you take your makeup off and brush your teeth.

It felt so domestic you could cry.

Climbing into bed, your drunk mind prepared itself to sleep next to Paige. It would never feel like enough to you. You wanted all of her. 

Paige lies down behind you, wrapping a long and muscular arm around your waist, caging you in just the way you like it. You are a second away from sleep enveloping you, when you think you hear Paige whisper, “I am so in love with you.”

Your heart stops.

You wake up the next morning with your head pounding. You squint your eyes and look around. Paige is still sleeping next to you. You gently smile as you gaze at her peaceful figure. You wish you could stop time to stay here in this bubble with her. Soon, you’ll go back to being just Paige’s best friend, and the relationship you’ve built up in your head will come crashing back down.

Soon enough, the blonde wakes up, ripping you from your daydreams. She smiles at you, and turns over to completely face your body. “Crazy night, huh,” she alludes slyly.

Your eyebrows crinkle in question. “Did something happen?"

“Uh yeah…you don’t remember what you said to me?” she asks.

You shake your head in confusion, but you start to attempt to recall the events of last night, and all of a sudden it comes back to you. You recall asking her to kiss you, hanging all over her, and the incessant pouting and neediness. 

“Oh my god,” you whisper, feeling your face heat up in embarrassment, and immediately you jump out of bed to leave.

“Wait, don’t go please,” Paige pleads in a way that is startling unlike her.

You ignore her pleas, gathering your stuff and running out of her apartment. Tears burn your eyes as they threaten to slide down your face. You try to stifle your sobs as you climb the stairs two at a time and get to your own door. You throw yourself into your shower as you attempt to drown out your own cries. 

As you sat on the floor of your shower you could not believe how stupid you were. Drunk flirting with your best friend would be the end of your friendship. You could see it already. Paige coming to you, trying to let you down easy. You felt so humiliated.

You sat there until the water got uncomfortably cold, leaving goosebumps against your skin. As you toweled off, you replayed the events of last night in your head for the millionth time. The dancing in the bar, the walk back to Paige’s apartment, her helping you undress. You sigh at the idea of losing her before it all comes crashing back.

“I am so in love with you,” she had whispered into your hair. You still at the memory. Paige loves you? Sure it's common knowledge that you loved and craved her with all of your being, but a love that was requited? It was almost too much to think about. 

You grab your phone that you had left abandoned on the couch and see the messages from the blonde. Messages of regret and longing fill your phone. One more pops up as you scroll, saying ‘I’m coming over. I won’t let you avoid me over this bullshit.’ 

A few moments passed before there was a loud banging on the door to your apartment. You had never felt so appreciative that your roommates had left for the weekend. Your breath grew ragged as the door slowly creaked open, revealing a panting Paige. Her blue eyes looked almost wild as they met yours.

“C’mere, just let me explain,” she says quietly. You weren't used to Paige being quiet and almost solemn. It scared you, just as the thought of confrontation did. This was not a conversation you wanted to have. 

Fighting your own instincts to immediately bolt, you gingerly sit on the couch where she had already made herself comfortable. Some things never change.

“Listen,” she starts out cautiously. “I never want things to be weird between us. I never imagined I would be feeling this way towards someone who was just a friend, but…I think we haven’t been ‘just friends’ in a while.”

You finally allow yourself to meet her gaze, trying to search for any semblance of where this conversation could possibly be going. Surprisingly, she looked hopeful, as if she knew something you did not.

“I-i want you. Like, more than a friend,” Paige stutters out, “And I think you feel the same way. We’ve both been too scared to admit it, but I’m tired of ignoring how you literally make me feel whole.”

You blink back more tears in realization that the last three years of hell of being only Paige Bueckers’ best friend was finally coming to an end. She could finally be all yours and yours only.

Without thinking, you place a hand on her jaw, bringing her to your lips. They meet yours with such hesitancy you almost think you’ve ruined the delicate balance of what you are to each other at the moment. Paige lets out a breathy sigh and pulls you onto her lap. 

You were heavenstruck. 

As the both of you finally pull away from the drug of a kiss, you look at each other and giggle.

“So much for the dramatics, I guess,” laughs Paige. 

You smile, rolling your eyes. “Not my fault,” you pout. “I have no control when it comes to you, P.”

“Same,” grins Paige. “The only thing left to do is figure out how to tell the girls. They’ve all been beggin’ me to tell you ‘bout my lil crush on you.”

“Those bitches knew?” you ask incredulously.

“Well yeah,” Paige says. “I’m not subtle.”

You giggle at how stupid you felt. The signs were there all along, but the fear of rejection and the cloud of lust had obscured any indications of reciprocity. 

“Let’s just start making out the next time we’re in front of them and see how they react,” Paige suggests with a waggle of her eyebrows. 

You could hear the whoops and cheers already.

“Deal,” you say blissfully. 

She was finally yours. 

[baptismbaby]

✿ SMITTEN

soft!ellie x reader

summary: you and ellie have been together for three months. you felt it was finally time to take the relationship a step further.

warnings: fingering (r!receiving). that's it rlly. super sweet and has some fluff.

a/n: super short, I'm sorry!! it's hard writing fluff for some reason lol. sorry this isn't my best work:( brain was refusing to work with me on this one. rewrote it three times.

wc: 1.7k<3

Ellie Williams was in love.

Her heart was so full and she always wore a smile no matter where she went. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world. You met Ellie a couple years ago when you moved into Jackson. The two of you quickly hit it off and became close friends. Wherever Ellie was, you were there too. It became a thing in your friend group. If Ellie was nowhere to be seen, you were bombarded with questions asking if she was okay. The two of you always went on patrol together and very rarely went with anyone else. Ellie knew she had feelings for you for a long time but hid it from you. It wasn’t until a couple months ago when you finally admitted your own. You two were at your place watching a movie on the couch but not really paying attention. Instead, you were talking about old relationships and flings. When Cat was brought up, you let it slip that you were jealous of their relationship. Ellie kept prodding you to tell her what you meant by that but you refused until she finally kissed you. The next day, she was already bragging to Jesse and Dina about how you were finally her girlfriend.

Although the two of you have only been dating a few months, it felt like it was longer. The only change since entering a relationship with Ellie was that the two of you would kiss, hold hands, and cuddle. You were happy and comfortable in your relationship with Ellie but wanted to take it a step further. You were at your house with Ellie, who sat on the bed watching you pack your bag for the week. You practically lived with her at this point, only going to your place to exchange clothes.

“You wanna watch a movie when we get to mine?” asked Ellie, her head tilted and wearing a smile. You grinned back at her and nodded in agreement. “Good. I already have something picked out. I think you’ll like it.”

“And if I don’t?” you teased, sending Ellie a playful smirk. Ellie got up, pressing her chest against your back and wrapping her arms around you. You giggled as she picked you up and fell back onto the bed, your body now next to hers on the mattress. She crawled on top of you and gave you a quick, sweet kiss.

“I actually don’t know,” Ellie finally said. “I just wanted to kiss you.”

You smacked Ellie’s arm gently, shoving her off and getting back up. “You’re such a sap!”

“Mmm, not really.”

“Then what was that?”

“What was what?” questioned Ellie, trying hard to hide the smile growing on her lips. You rolled your eyes and decided not to answer, continuing to throw clothes in your bag. Ellie got up again and grabbed you. “Oh, you mean this?” Once again you were thrown on the bed, Ellie hovering over you and planting kisses on your neck as you laughed. You got quiet when she nibbled on your neck.

“E-Ellie?”

“Hm?”

“What are you doing?”

Ellie pulled away, her face red from embarrassment. “Oh, sorry. I thought you’d like that,” she mumbled. The truth was that you did like it but was unsure what to say.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. It was nice. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Ellie grinned, leaning back down to kiss you. You kissed back, wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling her to deepen the kiss. A groan came from Ellie’s throat when you gently tugged her short hair. You pulled away and stared up at her in awe. “What are you doing?” she asked this time.

“I thought you’d like that,” you replied.

“I do-I did, I mean. Yeah, it was nice.”

Ellie was suddenly aware of the wetness in her boxers. You looked so beautiful underneath her, your hair sprawled out around your head. Ellie wanted nothing more than to undress you and fuck you right here but that was something neither of you have even brought up yet. Ellie refused to ask because she didn’t want you to feel like she was pressuring you, meanwhile you were afraid to ask because it made you nervous. You were planning on mentioning it today and thought now would be the perfect time.

“Do you think we could… um… try something new?”

Ellie’s heart skipped a beat. “What do you wanna try, babe?”

“I was thinking that… um,” you trailed off, suddenly realizing how embarrassing it would be to ask. Even though you trust Ellie and you’re comfortable with her, you felt shy.

“C’mon, tell me,” Ellie urged. “You know you can tell me anything.”

You pouted and hid your face behind your hands. “God, this is embarrassing!”

“Sex?” Ellie suddenly asked. You peeked through your fingers and shrugged.

“Kinda? I’m not sure if I’m ready for sex sex but other things, yes.”

Ellie grinned and rolled off to the side of you, holding herself up with her arm and using her tatted one to pull you closer to her. “You want me to start?”

You nodded. “Yes, please.”

Ellie leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, then your cheek, nose, other cheek until she made it to your lips. The kiss was slow at first, her tongue brushing against your bottom lip so she could put it in your mouth. It became passionate, almost sloppy and desperate as her hands traveled down your body and stopped just above the waistband of your sweatpants. “Take this off,” she whispered against your lips. You lifted your hips off the bed and shoved them down quickly, revealing a black lacy thong. You usually wore boy shorts. Ellie glanced down at your panties and took a double take, her mouth slightly open in shock. “Fuck, babe. You put this on just for me?”

“Mhm,” you replied.

“Such a sweet girl. You should wear these more often.” Ellie stuck her hand down the front of the lacy thong and rested it against your heat. She could feel your slick gathering all over her fingers before she even had a chance to dip them between your slit. She moaned softly, feeling her own cunt grow wetter. She placed her middle finger on your clit, eliciting a gasp from you. She chuckled at your reaction and started to move her finger in a circle, paying close attention to your facial expressions. You hid your face in her shoulder as soft whimpers escaped your lips.

“Hey, don’t hide from me,” Ellie cooed. “I wanna see my pretty girl.”

You rolled your head back and made eye contact with Ellie, her face slightly red and her lips upturned in a smirk. “Is this what you wanted, honey?”

“Mhm!” you whined, bucking your hips forward as she picked up the pace.

“Does that make you feel good?”

“Y-Yes, Ellie.”

“God, you’re so beautiful.”

Ellie’s lips collided with yours once again, another sloppy make out session as she teased your hole with her finger. She finally slipped one in, causing you to moan loudly in her mouth. She pulled away to listen to your sounds of pleasure. It was almost pornographic how filthy you were being, moaning out a string of cuss words and repeating Ellie’s name over and over again. The sound of your wet pussy combined with your obscene noises made Ellie want to ruin you. But she knew better than that, it was the first time the two of you ever did something like this. She didn't want to rush anything. She was fine with moving slow. She loved you so much.

Ellie stuck another finger in, your tight cunt squeezing around her digits as a knot built in your stomach. You could tell you were close but wanted to hold on for as long as you could.

“E-Ellie,” you moaned.

“Yes, baby?”

“I-I’m about to-”

"Let go, baby," Ellie interrupted. "Cum for me."

As the feeling in your stomach grew stronger, your climax getting closer and closer, you couldn’t help but to say the three words you haven't said to Ellie yet. “I-I love you!”

Your orgasm finally hit, your legs trembling and your back arching. Ellie talked you through your orgasm, mumbling praises and saying how much she loved you. She took her hand out of your panties and laid down beside you.

“You don't know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that,” whispered Ellie. You looked over at her, a smile growing on your face as you tried to catch your breath. Ellie wrapped an arm around you and pulled you closer. “You did so good, baby. Do you feel okay?”

You nodded, still unsure if you could even speak. Your throat felt sore. You tried to raise up to get water but quickly laid back down again, your body too weak to move. Ellie chuckled. “You need something, honey?”

“W-Water," you responded, your voice slightly raspy. Ellie looked around until her eyes landed on the water bottle sitting on your dresser. She reached over and grabbed it, opening it up for you and raising your head up so you could get a drink. She set it back down once you finished.

“M-Much better,” you said after clearing your throat. “That was really good, Ellie. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two of you laid there silently, holding each other close and thinking about what just occurred.

“Ellie, I meant what I said,” you vocalized. “I really love you.”

Ellie smiled, her tummy fluttering at your words. “I love you too, dork.”

You huffed. “Hey, don’t call me dork!”

“You're my dork,” Ellie continued, ignoring the soft blows to her shoulder. “You wouldn't be so mad if it wasn't true.”

“Oh shut it, Els,” you laughed. You rested your head on her shoulder and held her tighter. You wanted to ask if you could return the favor. You wanted to make Ellie feel good too but you were getting drowsy, your eyelids growing heavy. You gave in and shut them, falling asleep a couple minutes later. Ellie’s smile never went away. She couldn't stop thinking about you admitting you loved her too. She was one lucky girl.

[wandaspup]

Sinners Part 3

 

Summary: In a small town, you try living up to your mother’s expectations while encountering Wanda Maximoff, a mysterious woman and a childhood friend of your mothers. It leaves you questioning her intentions and your beliefs.

parings: Wanda x Fem!R

Warnings: None 

Author Notes: I decided to post because It’s been almost two months and I don’t like making a chapter extremely long! So next chapter will be full of smut! And the truth about what happened with Wanda.  Thank you for everyone’s support! I’m never doing a mini series for awhile or maybe just keep it on the down low next time lol I can’t wait to share my other ideas! I got so many dark Wanda and Natty stories floating in my gay ass brain.

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The sound of the bell chimes as you enter the coffee shop you’re well familiar with, your body shifting towards your favorite spot in the café. Dark circles beneath your eyes and the pulsing pain in your arms and legs are reminders of the exhausting morning you had. Your mother woke you up early to help with boxes and cleaning the church for the upcoming Sunday. You’d told her an hour ago that you were taking a break, leaving quickly before she could protest, but you already knew she’d give you a piece of her mind later.

You rolled your neck from left to right, hoping for a satisfying pop. It was only twelve in the afternoon when you snuck a glance at the clock. Deciding to rest your head on your arm, you closed your eyes for a moment. A flurry of thoughts swarmed in—college, the possibility of leaving this town. Though you enjoyed it here, you hopelessly hoped you’d get to see more than the same people and the same stores you passed every day. But the arrival of one specific person was messing with your plans, as if they were being scrambled like a crumpled piece of paper, with only her laid out as the perfect piece of paper right in front of you.

Wanda Maximoff had been on your mind ever since that night. Her presence confused you. When you went to sleep that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about her hand on your thigh. You convinced yourself that she was just being friendly—a comforting gesture, right? A simple touch from one woman to another, like you see all the time between girls and their friends. Wanda was just being friendly, that’s all.

Looking down, you noticed your hand resting on the same leg Wanda had touched. You stared at it for a long time, lost in thought, before someone or something pulled you out of your daydream.

“I’m being ridiculous,” you muttered to yourself, trying to shake off the lingering feelings.

You waited until the line was empty and slipped past the small tables surrounding the area, muttering an apology when you accidentally bumped into someone in front of you. Before you could say anything, you heard that familiar voice.

Wanda stood right there, a delicate smirk on her lips and her arms crossed over her chest. “We have to stop meeting like this,” she said, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

You couldn’t decide whether to be amazed or cautious around Wanda. It felt like she always knew exactly where you’d be. Maybe your suspicion of being followed wasn’t so crazy after all. Scratching the back of your head, you chuckled softly.

“I was hoping to see you again. Taking a break from your mother, I see?”

Surprised, you blinked rapidly. “How did you know about that?”

She rolled her eyes and glanced at the menu above the cash register, shrugging her shoulders. “I just assumed, silly. Your mother always loved working and running the show back in high school. I remember she made another classmate her little minion.”

There was a brief pause before you answered. “Oh, I see... well, yeah, she’s got me packing and unpacking a bunch of boxes at the church.”

Wanda nodded and approached the woman at the counter with a warm smile. She gestured towards you and said, “It’s on me.”

You insisted on paying for yourself, but ultimately, she won the argument. Feeling your knees threaten to buckle, you quickly sat down, careful not to spill your coffee. Wanda hid her smirk as she took a seat across from you.

“So how have you been?” You cringed. That sounded much better in your head. Wanda reached across the table and squeezed your hand, her touch cold yet gentle.

"No need to be nervous, sweetheart,” she reassured you. “After all, I’m a friend of your mother’s. We’re basically family.”

“Right.” You let the tension in your body dissipate and stared down at your coffee.

“Thanks for the coffee by the way.”

“My pleasure darlin.”

You carefully considered your next words. The diner became much quieter than it was when you got here. There was something you desperately wanted to know, and she was the only one able to tell you the truth. Your stomach clenched with nerves as you released it and took a deep breath. Wanda patiently waited but deep down she was relishing in the way you acted around her. You were after all just a sweet and polite girl who goes to church every Sunday and does whatever people tell you. Wanda was about to bask in the afterglow of it all.

“What happened between you and my mom? How come she never mentioned you?”

Wanda’s expression shifted, a shadow creeping beneath her features. “We drifted apart,” she began, her voice sounding dry and dull. “It was our senior year of high school. Your mom got pregnant with you, and everything changed. She decided to move here, to start fresh, I suppose.”

There’s a nagging feeling that something was off, but you chose to let it go. Wanda’s eyes stared blankly at you for a moment before a smile crept onto her candy lips. “I had a great time at dinner, by the way.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you enjoyed yourself Ms.Maximoff”

Wanda waved and dismissed you, patting the top of your hand resting on the table. “No need for formalities, sweetie. Just call me Wanda.”

The hour went by fast. You gazed up at the clock and thought of your mother having a freak-out that you weren’t back at the church by now. Wanda noticed this and smirked. Everything was going according to plan, and she wasn’t about to let it stop now. “Is everything alright dear?”

You gave a tight smile and checked your phone for messages. Wanda watched you intently. You felt you could trust her and hoped she’d understand. After all, she knew your parents since high school. She was family.

“I know it’s not my place, but I understand what you’re going through with your mother,” Wanda said softly. “I’ve been there with my own.”

“Really? Are you still in contact with her?” you asked, leaning in.

  Wanda chuckled and grabbed a napkin, dabbing the corner of your mouth. “Let’s just say the only way I can contact her now is through prayers. She passed a few years ago.”

You head dipped as you apologized for asking. Wanda dismissed your apology right away, claiming her mother wasn’t everything she hoped for. “I loved my mother, even I often felt I was never enough for her. But I’m sure your own mother doesn’t feel the same way about you.”

“My own mother controls everything I do. It’s infuriating. I can never any decisions without her approval.”

“Sweetheart.” She patted the top of your hand, looking at you with those wide green eyes. She breathed in and out, licking her top lip before smacking them with a pop. “If you want to live your life, you either need to do that on your own or forever live under your mother’s reality. It’s your choice, but remember, whatever you decide, I’ll always be here for you.”

After your talk, you hurried back to the church, your mind racing about what Wanda told you. When you entered, the air hung heavy with packed boxes, neatly lined up and some stacked in preparation for the upcoming parade. And then there she was—the woman you had dreaded seeing—standing in the aisle, clutching a clipboard with a smudged expression written on her face.

“Glad to see my own daughter can remember something,” she remarked sharply. She pointed towards a couple boxes on the left. “I need those boxes unpacked and everything organized properly.”

Moving towards the boxes, you began to carefully open them, her words still dawned heavy on your mind. You gripped the box tightly, feeling the veins in your wrist strain against your wrist. Taking a deep breath and shutting your eyes as you focused on something to prevent yourself from lashing out. Yet, no matter how hard you tried to think of anything else, Wanda’s image kept intruding into your thoughts.

Her voice echoed in your mind, urging you to do what was right and stand up for yourself. Thinking of her and the reassuring sound of her voice visibly relaxed you. As you scanned the church, your gaze settled on the podium, a sudden realization of where you stood struck. You gently inhaled and exhaled, silently whispering forgiveness. If you were honest, you didn’t fully understand why you had asked--or perhaps it was to brace yourself for her. There were times when you feared you give in, and you clung to anything that keep you sane.

But you also didn’t want to be sane and Wanda can see right through you more than anybody has in this town. Even your own parents.

With a steady hand, the knife ripped through the tape sealing the top with little crinkles and the flaps spread out. Carefully grabbing the contents inside and setting them down on the floor by you. You did that to another five boxes till you got ready on organizing and stacking the contents in order.

“Thought you’d be done by now.”

You shrugged and kept your eyes focused on the task. “Want this done or not?”

She scoffed and tilted her head. The anticaption growing every millisecond, waiting for her to explode. Wanda’s words mimicked in her head, almost engraved once your mother spoke her words.

“Watch your mouth. I’m your mother and you will talk to me with respect. Do you understand me?”

The knife slams down on the broken boxes. You pounced towards her with your fingertips digging in your palms. Opening and closing your mouth, the words you wanted to say were on the tip of your tongue begging for release. As you chuckled, you looked between your mother and the podium. “I’m going to be off to college soon and I’m not going to need you anymore.”

You headed towards the doors not bothering to even acknowledge the shock on your mother’s face.

“These boxes still need to be unpacked.”

“Unpack them yourself.”

Just before reaching the door, you paused with your hand on the handle, hesitant to turn it. You waited for her to speak, knowing she wouldn’t let the moment pass. Finally, you turned back to face your mother. She wore a stone-cold face. “You’re never going to make it into college or anywhere for that matter. Why do you think I’m hard on you?”

You scoffed, your voice radiated with disbelief. “Than why pay for college? Why let Dad waste your precious money?” The words hung heavy.

She took a few steps forward, her expression was unreadable. She stood still, searching in her delirious state of mind for words she wanted to say. Silence stretched out, everything tense and only angry rifted through it. You shifted uncomfortably, your mind racing and waiting for her to speak.

“I want to see you succeed,” she began, her tone measured, “but I know in my heart you’re going to fail, and you’ll be crawling right back to us.”

After her words were done and out in the open. You clenched and unclenched your hands, wishing Wanda was here to support you. “So you’re giving me false hope? What kind of mother are you.”

“A mother who loves her child enough to keep her from making stupid mistakes and don’t even lie... I know you spend time with Wanda.

In a swift motion you pulled yourself together and crossed your arms over your chest.

You wondered if she saw you two at the coffee shop or someone opened their mouth. It is a small town after all. “What if I am? She’s been a better mother figure then you’ve been for 19 years of my life.”

“Wanda is an old friend who I love dearly but she is no position to replace me.”

You swore, feeling the heat rise within you like steam leaking from a kettle. “I never said she was,” you asserted firmly, your voice edged with frustration. “And how come you never thought to introduce me to her? Why haven’t you guys spoken for years?”

She sighed than almost hesitating, the nature of your words determined for answers and the truth floated like specks of dust. You stood and waited patiently, looking right into her eyes to see if she was lying. Your mother had always lied on multiple occasions, so you picked on her tactics long the way.

“I do not know why. Life happened and everyone drifted apart. Only God knows the answer.

You lingered for a second before turning back and opening the door, leaving your mother standing alone in an empty church and sun rays blasting through the stained windows. The fresh, earthy scent of recently cut grass and the gentle breeze brushing against your skin momentarily eased your mind. You took a few deep breaths, placing your hands on your hips as you gazed up at the sky.

Thoughts of Wanda suddenly filled your mind. She seemed to be the only person who had been truly honest with you. You began walking with the hope of running into her, as you often did. As you moved further from the church, which was now just a distant blur, you noticed a car slowly trailing behind you. The tinted windows obscured the driver’s identity, so you stood still, hands in your pockets, maintaining a cautious distance.

“Hey sweetie... need a lift?”

A relieved sigh escaped your lips. You reached for the door handle, and it swung open to reveal a cabin with neat brown leather seats and red interior. “Thank you, Wanda,” you said as you slid into the seat and buckled up, your hands trembling slightly. The sweet scent of peaches filled the air as you settled in.

“I did say I’d always be there,” Wanda chuckled, tapping her fingers lightly against the steering wheel as she started driving. “So, how’s everything with your mother?”

“I don’t want to talk about her right now,” you said calmly, though a trace of frustration lingered in your voice. You reached for the button on the door panel, pressing it firmly. As the window rolled down with a soft whir, the breeze gently flowed into the car, mingling with the lingering scent of peaches.

“Can I come over to your place?” You hesitated for a moment before adding, “If that’s okay with you.”

Wanda grinned from ear to ear, briefly glancing at you with a knowing look. “I’d love the company. Your mother is always caught up in work, and I’m the one visiting.”

“She always chooses work over everything else...” you murmured, your voice tinged with a mix of angry and sadness. Sometimes, you found it hard to care at all when it came to her.

Wanda’s gaze lingered for a moment, though her attention remained on the road. She turned a corner and parked the car, shifting the gear into park and turning off the engine. With a gentle squeeze of your thigh, drawing your attention to her.  Large, doe-like green eyes seemed to hold you in their gaze, making you hesitant to move a muscle. “Let’s get you inside darling.”

taglist;

@ifthisaintmee @the-lakes89 @aru-son 

@maximoff-jp @unicorniusfallapatorius @random-fag @natashaswife4125 @wndasdoll 

@thursdayygrrrl @falloutboy-lover @obsessedwjill @ksandraxox @scarletnatsblog 

@bbbyliv0202 @peyt-n @wandaswife13 @criticsstuff @kimlipimsingle @sam-h-69 

@rowiebear @thalia-is-not-ok @immclovinmilfs 

@aemilia19 @jazzabebev @ksandraxox @starynn

@lottiemistsgf

[paradiseismine]

Instant Chemistry (part 1) - Finn Wolfhard x reader

Pairing: Finn Wolfhard x actress!reader

Warnings: none yet, but of course, this fic will be packed with smut in its future chapters.

Summary: reader is an actress and her agent has a surprise for her - a hot scene in an indie film with one of her favorite actors, Finn Wolfhard.

Format: This is NOT a one shot like the ones I usually post, it’ll likely be a 4 part story (maybe longer).

Love note from Nina: I had a dream about Finnie recently and decided to write it down into a fic. Hope you like it 🫰🏻

Everyone in the industry plays an archetype: that was a given. Some actresses were the goody two shoes, some were femme fatales, some were girls next door. And as crazy as that might sound, you were growing into a femme fatale. That meant that showing some skin and partaking in more sensual roles was bound to happen - and it’s not like it bothered you.

Leo, your agent, had gotten you pretty far for a 22 year old with your background: you had gone from model, to extra in some bigger productions, to main star in a few indie films. You had started acting classes a couple years ago, and was trying really hard to become an actual actress, and make a living solely out of your acting.

One day, you made Leo a huge favor by preventing his future husband of figuring out Leo’s proposal before it actually happened, as it was meant to be a surprise. “I owe you one” he had texted you later that evening, “and I’ll make it count when I pay you back”.

Several weeks had gone by and a project you were once dying to get your hands on was finally going strong. You had gotten home after a long week of shooting your new indie film - a complex and delicate story about a young marginalized prostitute whose dream was to have a romantic relationship and live a normal life. It had some intense sex scenes, but lots of dramatic charge that would surely put your name on the spotlight. With your body exhausted but with your heart smiling, you fell asleep in your new apartment in L.A.

“Morning, rising star” you woke up to Leo texting you, your phone buzzing with his messages. “Remember that one I owe you? Just paid it”.

“lol what did you do?” you responded, the tips of your fingers rushing through the keyboard on your phone screen, curious. Leo was always full of surprises, and you loved that about him.

“You’d told me your fav tv show was stranger things, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, I think I just got one of the ST kids to be with you on a spicy scene next week hehehe” he texted, and your mouth went completely agape. “You’re welcome in advance, darling” he added, his jokingly cocky tone nearly audible.

“omg who????”

And… he didn’t text you back.

Your head was cooking for the entire weekend, trying to figure out which ST actor Leo had convinced to partake in the movie. He had said “ST KIDS”, so it was one of the core four, for sure. You crossed them out in your head after some extensive online research: Noah Schnapp is gay, so he probably wouldn’t be comfortable with such intense sex scenes with a woman… Ok, he’s not it. Gaten Matarazzo is probably busy with some Broadway play, he always is. Not him as well.

Finn Wolfhard is always juggling twenty different gigs at the same time. You wanted him the most, but it was very unlikely he’d take the role. So, Caleb McLaughlin was your best chance. He was surely a darling to work with, you’d heard, so you were still excited to meet him, of course.

As you entered the set on Monday morning, your mind was hung up on the idea that Caleb was your special guest. You’d rehearsed in your head how you’d introduce yourself to him, the things you’d say, everything.

Your brain turned into complete putty once you spotted FINN WOLFHARD sitting on a foldable chair, holding a stack of paper, eyes roaming through the script. Fuck. It was him.

You’d get to kiss him, to rub your body all over him. Not for a minute. Not for an hour. But for a whole day. Heck, maybe even two days. And you’d still get PAID for it. It seemed nearly illegal that a job would do that.

You approached him slowly, trying to gather words into your mouth to simply greet him. Soon, he raised his eyes from the script and spotted you.

- Hi - he smiled sweetly. - You must be y/n, right? I’m Finn, nice to meet you.

He shook your hand politely, and you tried your best to give him a firm handshake (Leo always says that a good handshake is important in a Hollywood career), preventing your fangirl reaction from shining through.

- Oh, hi - you smiled back at him, still trying to seem normal and unimpressed. - That’s me. Should we get to the chemistry read? I’m so excited for this project, you have no idea.

- Me too! I loved the script so much, this is just great - he flipped through the pages, his teeth showing through a cute shy smile.

- Quite a departure from fighting inter dimensional monsters, isn’t it? - you joked.

- Definitely - he laughed, standing up to follow you towards the chemistry reading table.

Once everyone was sat down and settled, the reading began. Finn would be one of your character’s clients, and was only supposed to be in a scene or two, in a cameo appearance type of thing. But at the end of the reading, that seemed likely to change.

The chemistry between the two of you was electric, the director had said. The whole crew was amazed at how naturally you seemed attracted to each other just through your words, how easily the scenes would develop. From a small role, Finn was now asked to play your character’s main love interest.

He called his agent on the spot and pushed back a few band gigs on his schedule and said yes to being half naked with you for a few more days. I mean, the project itself was an indie film, so it wasn’t even good money. His main reason to take the part must’ve been you.

[cosmicdream222]

The time I woke up in the void, before I even knew what the void was

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・。.。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

As mentioned in this post, here is the story about how I woke up in the void before I knew what it was.

I came across @ellequarius success story on entering the void while falling asleep in class and I got major chills and a flashback to when something similar happened to me in HS. I didn’t even know about manifesting or the void at the time but now I realize I woke up in the void 🤯 It was such a strange and memorable experience, I still remember it vividly (I’m an adult, I graduated HS long ago lol).

It was my senior year, I was in science class and we had a substitute who gave us a free study period and dimmed the lights to put on a movie. I was exhausted so I just crossed my arms on my desk, put my head down and fell asleep.

Idk how long I was out, but before waking up I found myself in a weird kinda state. I thought I was dreaming, although nothing was happening. Everything was dark but it wasn’t like being in a dark room - it felt like looking at a TV or computer screen that was turned on but not showing a picture, there was some static and a sense of depth. A bit like outer space.

I had been thinking about my friend in Japan who I hadn’t talked to in a few weeks. I guess because she was on my mind, I imagined seeing a notification pop up on the “screen”, saying I had a new email from her. Then I woke up and went to my next class.

When I got to a computer, I found that I had indeed received an email from my friend, around the exact time I had “dreamed” it. I always thought it was a psychic dream, or just a freaky coincidence. But now I’m sure I manifested it in the void.

I was totally mindblown as since I found out about the void last year, I’ve been endlessly researching, wondering if it’s really real and trying different methods wanting to experience it for the first time - when I had already experienced it so long ago? 😭 It’s like I found an Easter egg in my brain!

I’m theorizing that sleeping position can have an effect on the ease in which you enter the void. Since it’s happened to several people while sleeping in class, taking naps, and there is also the popular recliner method, it seems that unusual sleeping positions put you in a lighter sleep, which can help access alternate states easier.

I’ve also realized since I figured this out a couple weeks ago, pretty much every time I have a natural awakening in the early morning, I do wake up in the void. It even happened this morning (2/27 as I type this) early in the morning after several hours of sleep, and I was lying on my back which is not my most comfortable sleeping position.

It’s the same kind of experience, and I don’t hear anything, but my first natural instinct when I wake up is to wonder where the sounds of my environment are. So I end up tuning in to my room to try to hear things, and snapping out of the void.

Only a matter of time before I figure out how to remain there aware long enough to affirm for my desires 😭

[imaginespazzi]

Part 2: If Only You'd Been Here

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you (but ain't nobody love you like I do)

(In which a sadistic writer tortures her beloved ship a fair amount and maybe her readers too)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and maybe Fluff if you squint

Words: 6.5K (someone please be proud that it is in fact shorter 🙈)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good morning my lovelies <3 Just a couple of things I changed that you should know before you read. If you follow WCBB, you know UCLA didn't win the Pac-12 tournament in 2023 but in this universe they did. You also probably know they lost in the NCAA tournament last year to SC in the Greenville region but in this universe, for plot purposes, they're gonna be in the Seattle region. I kept their seeding and who they were playing vague because it was gonna get too complicated to figure out. Also if you saw my list of part titles a while ago, no you didn't lol. As always, feel free to know what you liked, what you didn't, and anything you'd like to see in future parts. And as you're reading, let's just remember y'all love me and everything I do is for the plot. Happy reading and have a wonderful week lovelies!

December 2022

The distinctly “car” smell of her car is starting to make Paige more than a little nauseous. Going by the way Drew is pouting in the passenger seat, he’s also clearly over it. They’ve been driving in circles for what feels like hours. At first, still enamoured with being allowed to sit in the front, her little brother had gone along with her ridiculousness. Now, as they approach maybe the 12th or so lap around the neighbourhood, he seems less than thrilled. 

“Alright let me out and you keep driving,” Drew says, fiddling agitatedly with his seatbelt, “I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Well hold it in,” Paige retorts unhelpfully as they re-round the block. She keeps her eyes focused on the road, ignoring the glare her brother sends her away. He takes in a dramatic breath and leans back onto his seat. She grips the steering wheel tighter as they pass the house again, still not brave enough to pull into the driveaway of a place she’d once considered just as much a home as her own. 

Drew lets out another groan, “I shoulda just stayed home.”

“Well you didn’t-” Paige’s reply is cut off by the sound of a phone call reverberating around the car. The CallerID reads “Azzi (DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE)”, a name the younger girl had plugged in herself with a warning look the day Paige had left LA. Chewing whatever dry skin is still left on her bitten-to-death lips, Paige clicks accept on the call. 

“What number lap is this?” comes Azzi’s exasperated voice and Paige can’t help the smile that creeps onto her face. 

“Oh you know my car’s feeling the need to exercise today,” Paige hums back, suddenly feeling a lot lighter than she had just a couple of seconds ago. Sometimes, she’s not sure how she managed to go a year with this constant heavy weight pressing down on her ribs, and no Azzi to slowly ease her out from under it. 

“Azziiiiii,” Drew whines dramatically, “please come save me. I’m gonna die in this car.”

Affronted, Paige splutters, “nobody forced you to come.”

“You begged me to come,” her young brother quips back and it elicits a laugh from the girl on the other end of the line. 

“I did-”

“Paige,” Azzi cuts her off, “just come inside okay? You’re wasting gas for nothing.”

“I- it’s just-,” Paige’s hands tighten even more around the wheel, as she stops on the sidewalk, switching on her turn signal, but still not entering the driveway. She leans her head against the wheel, overwhelmed by emotions she can’t quite name. Drew places a comforting hand on her back and she sends him a reassuring smile, trying to shield her younger brother from the havoc in her brain. 

“Hey,” Azzi’s voice floats through the fog, “it’s just me okay? Me and you and us. It’ll be okay. I promise.”

It’s like a child being soothed with their favourite binkie, that’s what Azzi’s promise feels like to Paige. She finally turns into the driveaway, and both Drew and Azzi cheer in tandem. The knot in her chest loosens just a little bit at that because the large crowds that scream for her make her feel adored, but this, her own personal cheer squad for her littlest of achievements, well it makes her feel loved. 

“Freedom,” Drew yells as he practically flings himself out of Paige’s barely parked car. She rolls her eyes fondly at her mini me as he dramatically pretends to kiss the ground. It’s a small distraction from the memories that are swirling like a tornado in her mind. Minnesota is home, it’ll always be home but this place, this had been her safe haven, something she could hold onto at a time where everything else was slipping out of her hands. And then, like a fool, she’d let go of it. 

The door opens even before they’ve made it halfway to the door and Azzi’s brothers run out into the front yard. Jon pretends to take pictures and José practically falls to his knees as they swarm around the blonde. 

“Paige, Paige, can we get a picture or an autograph please,” they yell teasingly, “please Miss Bueckers we’re your biggest fans.”

“Move over boys,” Tim Fudd’s booming voice hollers, as he swats his children away, “her biggest fan is actually me eh Paige?”

The girl in question nods solemnly, her smile stretching the full length of her face, and both Jon and José let out a groan as their father beams at Paige. And then Katie’s there, not a hint of anything but pure happiness on her face as she wraps the younger girl into a hug. Paige melts into the embrace, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. Because all she can think about is the hundreds of calls and texts from Azzi that she’d left unanswered, all she can think of is Azzi's devastated face as she’d told Paige about just how hard she’d tried and that wretched ache of i don’t deserve this i broke your daughters heart wraps itself around Paige’s  heart. 

Over Katie’s shoulder, Paige watches as Azzi finally walks out into the law, her cheeks immediately turning red from the cold. The younger girl winks at Paige with a radiant smile, before giving all her attention to Drew who almost trips as he excitedly launches himself into Azzi, tiny hands wrapping around her waist. Paige watches, still buried in the warmth of Katie’s arms, as Drew animatedly tells Azzi all the stories he possibly can and Azzi nods along emphatically as if she’s being told the most important facts of her life. And Paige takes a snapshot of it to add to her ever growing collection of moments i just knew. 

***

January 2023

“Call her.”

Paige doesn’t bother replying, burying her face further into her tear-soaked pillow. Maybe if she ignores her teammate, Caroline will get the message and go away. The earth-shattering pain that she’d subdued for the last couple of months had finally reared its ugly head. And that too at the worst time possible, when her team needed to be a source of strength and with cameras catching the teardrops falling as she mourned the loss of not being able to play in the epic UConn-Tennessee rivalry. She’d done so well at holding it in, breaking apart only a couple of times, sometimes alone and sometimes with Azzi on the other end of the line. Until tonight, when the bright lights and roaring crowd had reignited the itch to just fucking play ball. 

“Paige,” Caroline says again, “stop being stubborn and call her.”

“She has a game tomorrow, she doesn’t need my dramatic ass worrying her right now,” Paige replies, getting into a sitting position when she realises the other girl isn’t about to just let this go. 

“You’re eventually going to call her. The two of you haven’t gone one day without talking to each other since this summer,” Caroline gives her a look, a hint of a smirk play on her face when it tints Paige’s cheeks pink, “seriously, just call her.”

It’s not that Paige doesn’t want to. She’d scrolled through her contacts and stopped at Azzi’s one too many time’s tonight. And each time, just as her fingers had hovered over the green call button, she’d felt guilt claw at her neck. Since she’d shown up in LA, Azzi had shown up for Paige every step of the way, checking in regularly, listening to Paige vent her anger at the world and whispering words of comfort that only sounded true when they came from Azzi’s mouth. Sometimes, if she tries really hard, Paige can feel the ghost of Azzi’s arms wrapping themselves around her shoulders, just as they had that one night in LA when Azzi had held her, so delicately as if she was made of porcelain, through the worst of her breakdowns. 

“She needs to focus on her game,” Paige says after a moment. 

Caroline sighs, mind wandering to the countless texts on her phone from Azzi begging her to take care of Paige and to let her know when the blonde wasn’t doing okay, “I know but she’d want you to call her if she knew. You need her.”

“And where was I when she needed me?” it’s the word need that triggers it, the quick snap because it’s all Paige has been able to think about lately. 

Without basketball, she’d had far too much time on her hands and she’d ended up going down a spiral of watching Azzi’s games from her freshman year, something she’d religiously avoided doing when they had happened live. At first, it had just been this immense feeling of pride, seeing her best friend be the college basketball phenomenon Paige had always known she would be. She’d shoved away the envy of it was supposed to be us that immersed her seeing the way the Bruins celebrated their new star player, and just let herself be happy in her best friend’s happiness. 

And then something changed around at the beginning of January 2022. It had only lasted a couple of games, but Azzi had hit a wall. Threes were short, cuts were made at the wrong time and she kept on getting lost on defence in a way that was very unlike her. And all Paige could focus on, eyes glued to the screen, was how completely and utterly exhausted Azzi looked during that stretch, despite the fact that she’d just come back from winter break. The smile had vanished off her face, replaced by stress lines Paige wished she could go back in time and erase. 

It wasn’t until she’d binged through all the games, cheering silently as Azzi slowly returned to form, that the realisation had hit Paige. She’d been slapped with the memory of a store decorated brightly for Christmas and a familiar voice calling her name, as she’d purposely walked the other way, pretending she hadn’t heard and the more than deserved i’m done trying text that had followed right after. For a year, perhaps longer, Paige had convinced herself that she was the only one who had lost something, she was the only one who had a right to hurt, to break. And still, she thinks she’d take all of that pain again a thousand times, if it means she could erase the fact that in all of her self-pity, she’d broken Azzi too.

“Where was I when she needed me?” she repeats again to Caroline, as the brunette stares at her in confusion, “the answer to that Carol, is that I was anywhere but with her.”

Caroline’s eyes soften in realisation as she takes a cautious step towards Paige, “oh P don’t do this to yourself.”

“I want to call her,” Paige confesses in a whisper, tears brimming in her eyes, “it’s the only thing I’ve wanted to do all day and maybe- maybe I should have but I’m just- I’ve been so unfair to her.”

“You were hurt Paige.”

“I know- I know that. But so was she. You don’t- god Carol- you don’t even know the things I said to her before she left for LA. And she’s still here,” the first tears fall from her blue eyes, and then the next and the next until there’s a steady waterfall streaming down her face, “you know I almost didn’t let her in when she first came over this summer?”

Caroline doesn’t say anything, choosing instead to come sit next to Paige and wrap her arms around the point guard. 

“I didn’t answer her calls or her texts for a year and still, still she’s picked up every call, replied to every text I’ve sent her since summer. I know- I know I need her and she’s going to be there of course she is. But when she needed me, where was I?” Paige drops her face into her hands, “I just- I don’t deserve her.”

There’s a moment of silence as Caroline rubs Paige’s back and lets the older girl wallow in her guilt. And then she reaches for Paige’s phone on the nightstand, ignoring the little grunt of protest. When the screen lights up, there’s already a notification of new messages from Azzi and Caroline can’t help but smile. 

“I think,” she begins softly, “Azzi’s a smart girl so maybe give that tiny little brain of yours a little bit of rest and let her decide who deserves her,” she hands Paige her phone “let her be there for you. I think maybe she needs that too.”

Caroline gives Paige’s shoulders a little squeeze before heading out the doors, giving the older girl a moment of privacy. Paige sighs, getting herself comfortable against her pillows, and rubbing away her tears, before finally giving in and pressing the facetime call button. 

“Do you want a distraction or do you want to talk about it?” Azzi says as soon as she picks up and Paige can see the concern etched all over her face.

“Or maybe I’m perfectly fine?”

“Ah we’re playing the pretend game tonight. Should have cleared your throat for a second longer maybe Miss Perfectly Fine, your eyes are red as fuck and you sound like a dying cat.” 

“Wow, that was rude. Maybe I’m sick?” 

“With what? The “lies to her best friend” flu?”

“That UCLA education has you making up illnesses now? Damn Az, you’re supposed to get smarter in college.”

“You’re so funny, like so funny,” Azzi huffs sarcastically before they both dissolve into giggles. It’s always just been so easy with them. And Paige’s isn’t a poet, but if she was, she’d write sonnets about the sound of Azzi’s laughter, and the way it makes the corner of her eyes crinkle. 

“I watched the game,” Azzi says after a second, “and I saw you.”

Paige smirks, “so you didn’t actually watch the game, just stared at my gorgeous face the whole time?”

“There’s that comedian streak of yours again.”

“Hey you’re the one who said you were watching me instead of the game. But who could blame you really?”

“I didn’t-” Azzi rolls her eyes, as Paige’s cocky smirk deepens, “stop it.”

“You can admit I’m a pretty girl Az,” she teases, delighted when it makes the younger girl blush. 

“Fuck off, you have enough people telling you you’re a pretty girl.”

“Yeah but it means more coming from you,” she says quietly, biting her lip. It’s not the kind of thing you’re supposed to say to your best friend, at least not in the soft, wanting way that Paige says it. Except they both know that the lines in their friendship are far more blurred than they should be, even if they've both done a pretty fantastic job at ignoring that kiss. Paige had learned over Christmas that Azzi was exceptionally good at the pretending part, moving away the moment Paige’s hands lingered a little longer than they should, changing topics if they even got anywhere near addressing the something between them. It shouldn’t have hurt but it did and Paige doesn’t understand how she can so desperately miss something that she never even had in the first place. 

“So distraction then?” Azzi says after a second, changing the subject back to her initial question. 

Paige closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath, “it was just- it was a lot tonight. I didn’t realise I was being that obvious.”

“You weren’t. I just know you a little too well.”

“These are my favourite types of games, you know. The rivalry, the crowd booing my name and getting the chance to quiet them, that’s- that’s the type of game players live for and I just- I miss it Azzi. I miss shooting, I miss defending, I miss just standing on the fucking court sometimes. I miss playing basketball. So. Fucking. Much,” a fresh set of tears leak out of Paige's eyes, as her free hand fists at her bedsheets. 

There’s silence as Paige’s words linger in the air. In a way it’s freeing to be able to say it out loud, to just let herself feel how she feels instead of fighting them. 

“You’re gonna miss it every day until you play again,” Azzi says quietly, her own voice thick with emotions, “and it’s not really gonna get easier until you get it back. But when you finally do, just- just imagine it okay, your first game back. The feeling of the crowd. Dribbling up the court. Making that first shot as everybody loses their minds. Finally just playing the game you love. That’s when that feeling of loss will finally go away.”

Using Azzi’s steady breathing as an anchor to still her erratic heartbeat, Paige lets herself get lost in the picture the younger girl has just painted for her. She lets her mind run to the future that lies ahead of her and if she focuses hard enough she can almost hear the Gampel crowds roaring as she finally returns to the court. 

“It’s kinda really fucking annoying how you always know what to say,” no it isn’t, it’s the only thing that’s keeping Paige going these days. 

“Surviving an ACL injury will do that to a girl,” Azzi says with a pained smile. 

That’s not it Paige thinks, it’s not experience, it’s you and I really wish you were here. But she can’t say that, so she changes the subject instead. 

“Tell me about your game tomorrow.”

They both settle back into their pillows, getting into more comfortable positions. Azzi tells Paige all about her upcoming game and then moves onto another topic, then another and another and another. They’ll wake up tomorrow morning to phones that died and no memory of when they’d fallen asleep. And then they’ll remember who was on the other end of the line, and if that makes them smile a little too hard, well that’s just another thing they’ll pretend didn’t happen. 

***

March 2023

It’s only natural that when Paige finally feels like she can learn to live with just having a little bit of Azzi, that the world would show her just how wrong she could be. She’s been in a much better headspace these days, her knee finally starting to feel like itself again, bit by bit. The guilt of not being able to help her team is still settled into the pits of her stomach but even with that, she’s reached a sort of acceptance. And while she’s still struggling to fight the part of her heart that wants so much more, she’s learning to be content with just having her best friend back.

It’s that little bit of time in between conference tournaments and the NCAA tournament when it feels like the calm before the storm and it’s the first weekend since before the season that the UConn team finally gets to go out and let loose for a bit. They’re riding the height of winning another Big East title and even if it’s a little bittersweet that they did it without her, Paige is beyond the moon happy for her team. 

She turns up the music in her room and changes the lights for the sake of a little ambience, before sitting down at her desk, to call Azzi and do what little of her makeup she knows how to do. Normally she’d get one of the other girls or Kayla to do it, but she’d rather sacrifice a flawless makeup look then miss out on having Azzi tease her about how she still didn’t quite know how to do her eyeliner properly yet. 

The fact that it takes Azzi longer than the third ring to pick up should be Paige’s first warning sign but instead she’s sucking in a deep breath at the sight of her best friend who looks breathtakingly beautiful tonight. Paige’s heart stutters as she takes in Azzi’s face, the light layer of red lipstick (that Paige wants to kiss off), the blush-tinged cheeks (that Paige wants to caress delicately) and the perfectly done mascara on her eyelashes (that Paige wants to feel flutter against her own skin). 

She lets out a low appreciative whistle, “celebrating that Pac-12 championship in style huh?”

“Something like that,” Azzi bites her lip and really that should have been warning sign number two, “was there- was there something you needed?’

“I can’t just call you?” Paige asks, noticing the tension on Azzi’s face, “are you busy?”

“No it’s not-”

“She is actually,” a different voice cuts in aggressively and Azzi immediately gives whoever it is an exasperated look. Paige doesn’t know who it is, but she guesses it’s one of the UCLA players. It’s no secret they aren’t huge fans of her. They’d made that much clear the few times they’d met Paige during September, always regarding her with a wary eyes. It wasn’t their fault really, Paige understood their protectiveness, in fact she appreciated it more than they would ever understand. 

“Chill Angela.” 

“Are you not busy then?” the other voice who Paige assumes is Angela Dugalic says, clearly a little annoyed. And then Azzi’s phone is being shifted away from her and instead it’s Angela’s face that covers Paige’s screen. 

“Oh,” the blonde manages to get out, taken aback by the sudden change, “hi Angela.”

“Hi Paige,” the other girl says, her voice dripping with saccharine sweetness. 

“Angela,” there’s a clear warning in Azzi’s voice and Paige already knows, even before the words are let out into the open, that whatever Dugalic is about to say is going to tear her apart. 

“Azzi has a date tonight,” Angela pronounces the last words with a gleeful lilt. 

The world spins and Paige’s head spins with it, as she grips onto her desk for some semblance of stability. She can hear Azzi spluttering in the background as she tries to get her phone back but it’s of no use as the UCLA forward powers on. 

“With a really pretty girl,” Angela smirks at the camera, clearly trying to prove something, “Zoe’s really wonderful. You’d like her, Paige.”

Zoe. Recognition registers in Paige’s brain. She remembers seeing the name flashing on Azzi’s phone a couple of times, accompanied by a photo she never quite caught a glimpse of. But as she tended to do with most phone calls that came during her time with Paige, Azzi had simply just declined the call and texted whoever that she’d call her back later. And so Paige hadn’t really bothered caring about Zoe, chalking her up to being some random friend Azzi had made. But fuck, maybe she should have cared. 

“And Azzi really likes her I think. They’ve been tiptoeing around it for ages you know? But we all knew it was only a matter of time.”

A strangled noise escapes Paige’s throat and she tries her best to disguise it as anything but the cry of despair it is. It feels like there’s a thousand knives digging into her skin, pressing harder and harder until she has no blood left to bleed. 

“They’re gonna make the cu-”

“Give me my phone back Angela,” Azzi’s voice cuts in harshly and Paige hurriedly rushes to contort her features into a smile right before the camera’s back to facing her best friend. 

“So you’re all dressed up for a date then?” Paige manages to get out and the word date sounds like bile on her tongue. 

“Doesn’t she look lovely?” comes Angela’s voice again; the girl seemingly on a mission to break Paige as much as possible, “give her a proper look Az.”

“Angela,” Azzi hisses through gritted teeth. 

“N-no show me the fit,” Paige counters, because that’s what a best friend’s supposed to say right? Show me how fucking perfect you look for a girl that’s not me

Azzi hesitates, swallowing nervously, before she takes a couple of steps back so the camera captures all of her. And Paige wishes she’d never asked to be shown in the first place, hell she wishes she’d never bothered to call tonight. Because she thinks the image of Azzi’s casual light blue jeans and simple green off-the shoulder top will be etched in her mind forever, captioned with the words not for you. 

“You look lovely Azzi,” she whispers quietly, trying to keep her voice steady.

“Zoe won’t be able to keep her fucking hands off of you,” Angela supplies and this time the glare Azzi shoots her is murderous. 

“I think I hear Emily calling your name Angela.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes,” Azzi says pointedly, “yes you do.”

Angela rolls her eyes but doesn’t protest this time. She turns to the phone with a devilish grin, clearly feeling accomplished in being a menace, “nice talking to you Paige.”

She waltzes out, leaving Paige, Azzi and a silence that feels like it could drown them. 

“You could have told me,” the blond says after a second, averting her eyes from the screen, “aren’t dates the kind of thing best friends are supposed to tell each other?”

“Paige-”

“It’s good though- you-uh- you deserve a night out.”

“P-”

“Listen, I uh- I’m going out too so- I- umm- I better get going but-,” Paige takes in a deep breath, “have a- have wonderful time on your date Az.”

She hangs up before Azzi can reply, the concern in the younger girl's eyes becoming too much to bear. For a moment, she stares straight ahead at the wall, just processing. And then she lets herself fall apart. 

***

It’s 1 a.m., Paige is drunk and miserable and so fucking tired; it’s an extremely dangerous combination. Aaliyah and Amari had practically had to carry her to her dorm because she’d been stumbling far too much and everyone was worried she’d eventually fall flat on her face. Personally, Paige thought they just didn’t have enough faith in her. She wasn’t even that drunk, she couldn’t be. After all she could still feel that stupid Azzi-sized scar on heart and wasn’t the whole point of being drunk supposed to be not being able to feel? But she has to be drunk because sober her would know better than to do what she does next, would know better than to call Azzi when she has no control over herself. 

“Paige? Is everything okay? Are you okay,” Azzi’s voice is filled with concern when she answers.

“Azziiiii,” Paige slurs, “areyoustillwithyourdate?”

“What?”

“Are. you. still. with. your. date?” Paige pronounces each word slowly. 

“I- yeah. She’s in a different room. Paige, are you okay?” 

“Interesting,” the blonde remarks quietly, “you never picked up her calls when you were with me. And we weren’t even dating.”

She hears Azzi’s breath hitch on the other end, can almost picture her doing that nervous swallow of hers, “ I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You didn’t care if she was okay then? Those times she called you?”

“That’s not- she didn’t call me at 1 a.m.” the younger girl justifies hollowly. 

“Bullshit,” Paige scoffs, “1 a.m. isn’t even that fucking late. Why is it so hard for you to admit you care about me waaaayyyyy more than you care about Zara or whatever?”

“Zoe. You’re drunk Paige, go to bed,” and Paige really should listen to the edge in Azzi’s voice.

“Where did y’all go?” she asks lightly, changing the subject, “c’mon Az, best friends share their date stories right?”

“Baltaire,” Azzi relents, choosing to let this battle go. 

“Oooh that restaurant we passed that one time wow,” Paige coos, “too fucking bad you hate fine dining huh? But she wouldn’t know that now would she? Because she doesn’t fucking know you.”

“Paige please,” Azzi breathes out quietly in a pained voice.

“But you know who does know you? Me. And I would have never taken you to some boring old fancy ass piece of shit restaurant like that.”

“Don’t-”

“I would have taken you on a picnic. Do you remember that park you loved, the one by my air bnb? There, that’s where I would have taken you. And I’d have gotten you supermarket sushi even though I fucking hate that shit but I know, I know, you like it. And flowers. Did she get you flowers? Because I- I would have. Roses and peonies and lilies, a whole fucking bouquet.”

And Paige is crying again, for the second time tonight, one hand gripping at her phone as the other one tries to wipe away the frantically falling teardrops. 

“And we’d stay at that park til the sun goes out and I’d take a polaroid of you in the sunset and I’d keep it forever. I swear Azzi, I’d keep it forever and I’d put it on my wall.”

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, as if it’s the only word she knows, as if it’s the only word that matters. 

“I’d bring my laptop so that when it finally gets dark, we can watch a movie. You choose Az, whatever you want. And I’d get distracted and start playing with your hair or something and you’ll pretend it’s annoying you but you’d be smiling. Fuck I love your smile.”

“You can’t- you can’t just say these things Paige.”

“Why not? It’s the truth right- why can’t I say the truth?,” Paige says petulantly, “but hush okay I’m not- I’m not finished yet. And then, then we’d just lie under the stars and it'd just be you, me and the sky. Perfect.” 

Azzi lets out a broken sob and Paige hates it, she hates it but she keeps on talking. 

“And then I’d take you home and I’d kiss you,” she whispers the last bit like a confession, “everywhere. Fuck, I’d make it so good for you Az. So good. Everything you wanted, everything you needed, I’d give you all of it. I’d make you come apart on my fingers and then my tongue-”

“Shut up,” Azzi’s voice is suddenly cold and frosty and it feels like all the heat has been sucked out of Paige’s room as well, “shut up, shut up, shut up.”

“Azzi-”

“No,” Azzi all but yells, “you don’t get to say all of that to me.”

“Then who does? Her? Zia or whatever? Who the fuck even is she?” Paige spits out venomously.

“Zoe. Her name is Zoe and you wanna know she is Paige?” 

She should say no. She should apologise for interrupting Azzi’s date and hang up the phone, but no, Paige doesn’t do any of that, “enlighten me why don’t you.”

“She’s the girl who was there,” Azzi says, her voice cracking, “she’s the girl who held me last year when I was going through the worst time of my life. She was there when I couldn’t make a fucking shot and I thought maybe I’d never be good enough. She was there when I let the pressure and the media and all of it get to my head. She was there when I was crying my eyes out over losing the one person I was sure would always stay. She- she’s who you were supposed to be because she was there, and you weren’t.”

Paige isn’t sure if it’s the bitterness behind Azzi’s words or the brokenness of her sobs that is the reason for the ache in her own chest. All she knows is that she still remembers tearing her ACL, and she doesn’t think it hurt as much as this. 

“It was supposed to be you,” Azzi sniffles, “I wanted it to be you. Because I’d have let you- fuck- Paige- I’d have let you take me on a picninc and if you brought me sushi I’d have brought you your favorite mac and cheese. I- I know you don’t really care about flowers so I’d get you chocolate, the rum-filled ones that you love. And that sunset polaroid would have been a selfie of us, where you’re kissing my cheek and I’d have it framed. I’d pick out a movie but first- first you could watch whatever basketball game was on and you’d get exasperated when I don’t know the team because I’m literally a basketball player,” she lets out a wet laugh, “but I know you secretly like explaining the NBA to me. And then- then I’d have let you take me home and I’d let you take everything. Whatever you wanted, it’d be yours.”

The vivid image of a date that never happened fills every inch of Paige’s brain. She feels like she’s in a bad dream, trying so hard to reach for a happiness that keeps on evading her grasp. 

“But you weren’t there then Paige, and you aren’t here now.” 

“Azzi-” Paige chokes out. 

“Go to bed Paige,” the younger girl says, her voice shaky but adamant, ‘Get some sleep. Maybe you’re drunk enough that you won’t remember this when I call you tomorrow.”

“Right. So we’re gonna pretend this never happened. Again. We’ll just keep on pretending forever I guess,” Paige retorts bitterly. 

“Yes, we will. Because if I stop pretending, I don’t think I’ll be able to survive.”

***

The buzzer rings around Climate Pledge Arena as the UCLA women’s basketball team loses in the Elite 8 on a last second buzzer beater. Azzi’s face contorts into one of sheer disappointment, and in the stands, Paige feels her own heart drop. She’s not one to root for a team outside of her own and god knows what would happen if Nika found out that she’d been screaming her head off each time the Bruins, or at least one specific Bruin, scored, but for Azzi, well, there’s not many of her own rules that Paige follows when it comes to her best friend. 

It had taken a fair amount of convincing on Paige’s part to even be able to come to this game. Everyone had wanted to leave immediately after the Sweet 16 loss but Paige had insisted they needed to stay in Seattle, do something to get the team’s mind off of the terrible end to their season. And that wasn’t a complete lie because even if she hadn’t been able to help when they needed it on the court, she could try and help boost morale. But she knew her teammates weren’t fooled. They knew the schedule just as well as she did and they knew exactly what or better yet, who she wanted to stay for. 

On the court, Paige can tell Azzi’s fighting back tears. The brunette had given it her all, scoring an efficient 34 points and really the game could have gone any way. That last minute heave from the opposing team really probably shouldn’t have gone in, but at the end of the day the NCAA tournament was a lot about skill but also a little about luck. But Paige knows, Azzi isn’t thinking about any of that, too busy finding a way to blame herself even though she’d had a near perfect night. They were just too similar sometimes. 

Azzi’s eyes flicker through the stands, clearly looking for a familiar face. Paige resists the urge to run on to the court and pull the younger girl into her arms and soothe away the defeated look in her eyes, if only for the fact that Azzi doesn’t actually even know she’d figured out a way to stay back for this game. Despite being in the same city, they hadn’t been able to spend nearly as much time together and while Paige’s teammates had tried to be of some help, Azzi’s teammates had seemed determined to pull her away as much as possible. All of that on top of the fact that they’re still playing that stupid game of pretend had left Paige wanting for just one moment alone for the two of them. 

As soon as the UCLA team starts heading back to their locker room, and the crowd starts leaving, Paige scurries towards where she knows Azzi will be. Their assigned locker room isn’t that far from where UConn’s had been and Paige gets there in almost record time, her mind firmly planted on being there for Azzi. She’d missed so many opportunities, but this time, this time she’d be there. 

Azzi’s leaning against the wall, her eyes closed and Paige has to take in a breath at the sight of her. Sweat sheens against her tan skin and her gameday braids are falling apart just a little but still, she’s perfect. Before Paige can take a step towards her, there’s another girl, all dark hair and long legs, brushing past her, rushing to get to Azzi’s side. It’s like the world has stopped and yet is spinning too fast all at the same time, as Paige watches this girl, Zoe, pull Azzi, Paige’s Azzi, into her arms. 

After the night of the date (and everything else they’re ignoring), Paige hadn’t bothered to bring it up and Azzi had never said anything about it again. Naively, the blonde had thought that maybe that meant nothing much had transpired after the date, silently patting herself on the back for possibly even having had a hand in that. Except, the way Zoe holds Azzi isn’t fucking platonic and the way Azzi relaxes in Zoe’s arms, isn’t fucking friendly. 

“I”ve got you Az,” Zoe whispers into Azzi’s hair and Paige wants to die. She should look away, she should walk away but her feet seem to be glued to the ground. And she remembers the way Azzi’s eyes were searching the crowd and oh- she’d been looking for- Paige can’t even let herself complete the thought because she’s sure she’ll burst into flames the second she does. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Azzi says quietly to Zoe. To Zoe, and not Paige. If she could feel anything beyond the dagger twisting in her heart, maybe Paige would hear the way there’s still a tinge of disappointment in Azzi’s voice, as if she’s wishing it was someone else. 

It takes Zoe pressing a kiss into Azzi’s forehead, eliciting a sigh from the brunette for Paige to finally tear her eyes away. Her feet finally move and then she’s running faster than she has in a long time, ignoring the way it causes her muscle to ache. She can’t tell if her rapid blinking is to usher away the tears or to try and prevent the memory of Azzi with some other girl from welding itself into her eyelids. It blurs her vision and in the speed of things, she can barely tell where she’s going. Paige runs chest-first into a wall, bruising her elbow. Her phone slips out of her hands, falling to the ground with a loud thud, the screen protector cracking into pieces. 

And when Paige looks at the mess of her phone on the floor, she thinks it couldn’t possibly have cracked harder than this silly little stupid heart of hers.

[morinuu]

☀︎｜tamaki x female reader drabble. you're a client and jealous asf. pining for tamaki lol. angst? maybe. mention of nsfw but nothing's reealllyyy happening. also u have ear piercings & you know haruhi's a girl.

your hands trembled a bit as you stared at the butter knife in held between your fingers, stopped mid-action from spreading the jam on your bread any further.

ouran had the tendency to make you feel lonely, rejected. generally... unhappy.

although there was one thing existing within the grand corridors of ouran that shone like the sun, blinding, immediately burning all of those emotions away. a tall boy whose smile seemed contagious, never failing to make your chest feel fuzzy and warm, as if you'd met a saint before entering heaven.

his blond hair almost radiated a halo surrounding his head, one you could never help but stop and admire.

but you knew you wouldn't be entering heaven, not when you couldn't defeat the disgusting, vile jealousy that sat in your throat whenever his hands would pat her head. or when his words would compliment her 'cuteness! purely adorable manners!' and whatever else he found just delightful on her.

so maybe he wasn't actually burning the negative emotions away. perhaps he was replacing them with others, and not with better ones.

it took a while before you realised tamaki suoh had been waving his hand in your face to bring you back to the conversation.

"miss yn?"

you blinked your thoughts away and looked back at the boy in front of you. with a quick cough to clear your throat, you nodded at the boy and finished spreading the jam on your toast.

"sorry, what were you saying?" you asked with a gentle voice, trying to seem unaffected by the thoughts occupying your brain viciously.

you didn't want to think you disliked haruhi, because she wasn't a bad person. nor had she done anything wrong. she wasn't the problem.

tamaki was.

he and his stupid amethyst-like orbs that sparkled in the sun under the cherry blossom trees during that shitty event the host club was partaking in. his long slender fingers that didn't hold a single scratch on them, proving just how little they'd physically struggled. his delicate pale neck that would be painted a bright pink whenever haruhi did anything.

he was the damn problem.

because you wished his eyes would stare down at you lovingly instead, while his pretty fingers swiped up your folds and played with your clit, his neck and ears flushed because he was rutting his hips on you, panting because of you.

haruhi wasn't to blame if tamaki refused to smear your lipbalm by kissing and licking your mouth in the changing rooms before he had to entertain another client.

so why was she such an irritating sight?

"is everything okay, dear? you haven't finished your tea yet and our date's almost over. that's unusual for you." he frowned slightly and moved a bit closer to you, brushing your hair out of your face to caress your cheek tenderly, as though you were to break.

you always would take the opportunity and lean into his palm, closing your eyes a bit to pretend that any of it was real. he made it seem real every time. and every time you fooled yourself without failure.

'he remembered my tea order!' last week.

'he noticed my haircut!' the month before.

and all those other small, teeny tiny specks of attention he paid to you - they all contributed to your delusions.

"everything's fine, tamaki. i'm just a bit tired. thank you for asking." you assured him and thrived in the feeling of his warm hand on your cheek for however many seconds he'd keep it there before inevitably having to stop.

you wished you could lean just a bit more to the left and peck and bite his fingers as softly as you could.

"if anything is on your mind, remember you can always share it with me, darling. you know i care for you." his hand moved up to caress your ear, the pad of his fingertips tenderly playing with all sorts of different jewellery you'd inserted throughout the surface, before it moved down to your jaw and finally completely separated from your face to rest back on his lap.

oh how you hated (or, tried to at least) his gentle stare and angelic voice that spewed lies in your face shamelessly for money.

that same stupid voice that suddenly got honest and passionate only for the first-year girl disguised as a petit boy.

'liar.'

you shook your head and gave a polite smile, repeating to him that "everything's fine" because you'd rather have the earth swallow you whole than admit your stomach was twisting and turning with raw, sinful envy.

tamaki opened his mouth to say something else, but just before his melodic voice could escape his throat, a yellow dress worn by his next client came into view. 'oh, right. end of appointment.'

"until next time, dear." he chuckled a bit before kissing the back of your hand as farewell.

he might've been called a prince in his club, but your type was always 'the dickheads' as your mum called them. in an ironic way, it made complete sense.

you stared at him walking away while trying to finish your aforementioned tea but to no avail. it was too bitter on your tongue, despite it being your favourite drink of choice, and you couldn't help but feel guilty. because you knew the reason you couldn't stomach it anymore wasn't because it'd gotten cold.

but because just before he went to sit with his next client, he went to check on haruhi.

because he would never turn to look at you the same way - or at all really.

it felt like he belonged to her, with her, and your pathetic attempts at getting closer to him were just an example of you being impudent.

you knew tamaki would never be yours.

and you didn't hate haruhi, but you really fucking wished she would disappear.

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: the main concept is that the reader was hired as an intern in the media team for barca, she’s young, has a fiery tongue and can handle herself around players, and gavi ( who’s known to be a hot head cause he’s sergio ramos’s long lost son lol ) cannot help but melt everytime he sees her, pedri tries to nudge his best friend into talking but a funny incident happens that causes them to admit their feelings to each other. (@findingnemosworld)

Word Count: 904 words

(author's note: another request from @findingnemosworld whose ideas never fail to amaze me 🩷 apologies for the lack of fics, my inspiration seemed to disappear on me !!)

Being hired for a media internship at Barcelona Football Club was the best thing to ever happen to Y/N. Every day was different, and she had developed close relationships with the players.

Y/N had a reputation around the Barça office for being brutally honest with a fiery tongue. She voiced every thought that came into her head and never lied to anyone.

She had been tasked with setting up the training equipment for the session on that day. She walked through the corridors of the training complex, heading towards the equipment cupboard.

Pablo's coach had also sent him to retrieve a clipboard from the same cupboard that, unbeknownst to him, Y/N had been sent to.

What Y/N didn't know was that Pablo had been admiring her from afar for a while. Every time he saw her, he flushed red with embarrassment. He thought she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

Pedri and Ansu were walking through the same corridor. They saw Y/N collecting cones and balls to take out to the field for the team to use during their training session.

When Pedri saw him enter the same cupboard as her, he took his chance. He locked the door behind Pablo and ran back to Ansu, laughing.

Pedri was sick of hearing his best friend talk about Y/N. Every time the pair saw her, Pablo would try and drag him away in fear of making a fool of himself. In an effort to finally get the pair together, Pedri resorted to locking the pair in the cupboard. If that didn’t work, he didn’t know what would.

Hearing the door close behind him, Pablo spun around. His eyes widened when he saw the doors were shut.

"Hello? Who is it?"

Pablo recognised that voice. He'd know it anywhere. It froze him to the spot. He didn't want to believe what was happening to him at that moment.

"Pablo, is that you?" He heard Y/N ask. He finally saw her walk into view.

"Yeah, it's me. I think the door's locked itself, so we might be in here for a while." He replied, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

"Oh no. The team won't get their training equipment on time then."

She frowned. The idea of losing her internship made her sick. All she wanted to do was get the equipment and watch her friends train. 

“It’s fine, I’m sure they’ll notice we’re gone soon.”

Y/N let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding in. 

“How come you’re in here anyway? I thought you just had to turn up to training?”

Pablo laughed and shook his head.

“Coach wanted a clipboard, and I knew they were in here.”

Silence descended over the pair. Pablo wracked his brain, trying to think of something else to say to Y/N. His fear of embarrassing himself was growing larger by the second. 

“You look pretty today. Not that you don’t look pretty every day, just you look really-”

Y/N cut off his bashful rambling, “Thank you, Pablo, that’s nice of you.”

Since starting her work with the football team, Y/N had always liked Pablo. As she got to know him more over the years, she noticed herself falling for the young player rapidly. His humour and kind nature drew her in, and before she knew it, she was hooked.

Being locked in the equipment cupboard wasn’t where she thought she would finally confess her feelings for the Spaniard. However, she wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip through her fingers.

“Pablo, I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you. Before I tell you, I hope we can remain friends afterwards.”

His face dropped. Assuming the worst, he nodded at Y/N’s words, urging her to continue.

“When I first started my internship here, I didn't intend to form such lovely connections with anyone. But since we first met, I’ve found myself liking you more and more; what I’m trying to say is that I like you. A lot.”

Pablo was dumbfounded. Through his shock and disbelief, his heart began to beat faster.

“Are you serious?” Pablo’s mind was running at 100 miles an hour. “I feel the same, I have since I first saw you walk in through the front doors.”

Y/N’s face broke out into a grin.

“I don’t think we can remain friends, though. Pablo commented. “I would like you to be my girlfriend, though?”

Nodding ferociously, Y/N’s smile got impossibly bigger.

The pair moved closer together and Pablo wrapped his arms around Y/N. Just as the pair were settling down, they heard the click of the door handle and then footsteps. Looking up at the sound, they saw Pedri poke his head around the corner.

“I knew it!” He exclaimed, “I’ve been waiting for this moment for ages. You two were made for each other. I’ll finally be rid of Pablo talking about his ‘crush’ on you”

The trio laughed and Y/N and Pablo got up, making their way out of the cupboard. 

The three of them headed to the training field, laughing at the unusual events of the morning.

Pablo knew Pedri had locked him and Y/N in the cupboard, but he didn’t feel anger or resentment. Instead, he felt grateful for his friend and appreciative of the road ahead of him.

[alexawynters]

Scarlet Whispers pt. 8

Gif not mine, as always

Trigger Warnings: Smuttttttt. Horribly written smut.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Female!Reader

Rating: M. Minors DNI

Masterlist with parts 1-7 here

Chapter Eight

Translations: котёнок - Kitten; malyshka - baby; lyubov - love; dorogoya - darling; I probably missed some… I should have probably been doing this the entire time, no? Eh… My b.

A/N: Its uhhh.. My first time writing smut for the public so uh… be gentle pls? Lol. Lemme know how it went. Writing dialog and smut makes me cringe haha. This was also written while I was in the hospital. Is it bad that the 5 day stay was almost a vacation compared to life? Haha, living the dreeeaammm. Someone pls hit me with their car or something so I can go back and have 0 responsibilities for another week. Promise I won’t sue 😛

Once again, edited while floaty. Apparently that’s the only time I can get the motivation to open my laptop. In my defense, I’m currently in the middle of a move and starting a new job so pls forgive my laziness. I’m a tad overwhelmed. It’s finnnne. 

____________________________________________________________

During your time at the aquarium with Wanda, you hadn't noticed how late it had gotten. Logically, you knew it was around dinner time because you both had just eaten, but you didn't realize until you both entered the dimly lit cottage that it was so dark outside. Despite the long day you’d had, you weren't ready to go to bed just yet. Body thrumming with an unfamiliar energy, and you could tell it stemmed from Wanda's hand still holding onto your waist. Now that you were home, it would be socially acceptable for her to let you go, but instead, she chose to linger.

Never one to enjoy having others in your personal space, regardless of if you were touch starved, you were thrilled to discover that you didn't mind the witch being so close to you. In fact, the mere thought of being separated from her made your stomach roil with anxiety. Looking at the redhead next to you as you traversed the hallway towards your room for the evening, a new kind of craving overcame you. This one was different from the hunger you had experienced just before dinner, and you realized that you couldn't get enough of the witch’s touch and presence.

Reaching your shared room Wanda finally moves to separate from you, and as she heads opposite from you, her hand falling away, you make a split-second decision. Well. Decision was being generous. More accurately you allowed your impulses to take over, unable to think logically - you couldn’t let Wanda get too far. Not that there was anywhere for her to go in a bedroom you both shared, but your brain wasn’t exactly running on all cylinders at this time.

“Wait!” 

You don’t know what, or even if you were thinking, knowing only that in the scant few feet the witch was away from you, your whole world felt like it was collapsing. A lightly calloused hand shot out as you turned to grab her hand again, and in your exuberance, you accidentally ended up yanking the woman towards you. In an unexpected feat of grace surprising both of you, you managed to catch Wanda. Despite her velocity, you were able to use her momentum, spinning both of you. A small jolt of pain wracked through your bones as your back landed harshly against the smooth wall, with Wanda safely in your arms. Chests heaved for air, both of you having fully expected to collide, ending up in a heap on the floor.

After the initial surprise wore off, both women giggled, though neither made a move to separate. “What is it, Y/N?” the older woman asked. Amusement colored her gaze, mixed with something else you couldn’t quite decipher. You were still learning new facial expressions to this day. 

“I-” You started then stopped, trying to assemble your thoughts and determine just how vulnerable you were willing to be. “Thank you, Wanda. For today. For… everything. This was..” you trailed off, unable to find the words. “Everything.”

You hoped Wanda would understand what you meant by that even if you yourself weren’t quite sure just yet. What you were sure of is that you wanted to return to Wanda at least a fraction of the care and devotion she had shown you in all this time. You knew you didn’t want her to walk away, heart aching at the concept. What you didn’t know was what you wanted to do next, you hadn’t exactly gotten that far, but you couldn’t stomach the thought of being apart from her.

The redhead’s gaze softened at your words. “You don’t need to thank me, lyubov. You deserve so much, and I just want you to be happy.” 

The words “with me” went unspoken, though she was dying to let them out. Instead, well-manicured hands lifted the tips of her fingers to gently push some fallen strands of your hair from  your face, as she studied you curiously. A feeling you both were on the precipice of something settled firmly within the witch’s chest. Wanda was fairly confident she knew exactly what that something was, but she wouldn’t plunge you into anything you weren’t yet ready to fall into.

Though certain in her assumptions, Wanda was unable to clearly read your surface thoughts. A jumbled mass of emotions, each thought no more than fleeting before another took its place, your mind was a whirlwind. The next steps had to be taken by you, and if you weren’t up for that yet, the redhead was content with where you both were at this moment. 

A palpable tension filled the air, conveying an unspoken awareness that something transformative was about to occur. Anticipation lingered in the atmosphere, creating a delicate blend of nervousness and excitement. There was an understated, magnetic attraction that drew you closer to Wanda. Completely unaware as you were, enthralled by the alluring softness of her lips which stoked a longing within you to know if they felt as velvety as they appeared, you were unconsciously learning forward.

It was a moment of breathless expectation, where time seemed to stretch. The world had fallen away, leaving only the two of you suspended in the beauty of the impending inevitability. Eyes finally connecting with Wanda’s, a silent, mutual understanding was shared, and in that moment, you made a decision.

”May I…?” your voice a husky tremor, thick with emotion.

Never had Wanda found you more endearing than in that moment. Your innocent consideration that you would need to ask her permission after everything. As if she hadn't been waiting for this very moment for so long. As if this wasn’t what she had been waiting for since first discovering the Darkhold, and all the possibilities of a multiverse.

“Please, Y/N.” The witch’s reply was all but a breathy whisper.

As your lips and hers finally connected in a gentle, exploratory kiss, an electric current seemed to pass through their bodies, igniting a fire within your souls. It was a moment of pure magic, a culmination of all the emotions and desires that had been building between you both. Breaths mingled, blending together in a perfect harmony of passion and longing.

The softness of the kiss spoke volumes, revealing a depth of connection that you were certain words could never fully capture. A tender exchange, filled with a delicate balance of vulnerability and trust. Each touch, each movement of Wanda’s lips against yours, was deliberate, as if she was savoring every precious moment of this newfound intimacy with you.

With every passing second, the world around faded away, leaving only the two of you enveloped in a bubble of pure bliss. Time seemed to stand still as you explored this uncharted territory together. A feeling as if something inside, you hadn’t known had been missing, was now perfectly slotted into place. Home.

When it came to kissing you, Wanda marveled at the stark contrasts between your Avenger variant, and you. While your other variant was self-assured, often taking command of a kiss with practiced skill, you, on the other hand, were gentle and tentative. It was evident that you were willing to let Wanda take the lead, which she found incredibly empowering, almost addictive. She knew she should probably take this first kiss slowly for you, however, your submissiveness was simply too delicious for her to pass up such an opportunity.

Long, slender fingers came to rest just under your jaw, firmly holding you close, Wanda using her body to press you harder against the wall, as if trying to merge your two bodies into one. A gasp escaped you at the length of the witch’s body pressed so intimately against you. Wanda, ever opportunistic, took advantage of your open mouth to deepen the kiss, her lithe tongue swiping softly at the seam of your lips in askance. 

You couldn’t even fathom a moment where you would ever deny Wanda this request, opening your mouth to grant her the access she desired. Her skillful tongue sensually slid against yours, eliciting a barely suppressed whimper from you. With a little coaxing Wanda was able to entice your tongues to engage in a seductive dance, leaving you breathless and heady. 

Eventually, the kiss broke, leaving both of you craving more. It had opened the door to a world of possibilities, and in that moment, everything changed. The bond between the pair of you had deepened more than you could know, and more than Wanda had hoped for. Despite initial reservations, your heart knew then you would follow Wanda anywhere, irrevocably tied to the witch forever. There was no one you wanted or trusted more.

While trying to catch your breath, no words were spoken. Taking this moment, your intrusive thoughts began creeping in because of course they were. Desperately you hoped the woman wouldn’t view the kiss as a mistake, praying that you measured up to your superhero counterpart. That you were truly what she had been looking for all this time, even if you weren’t anything special.

You would do anything to have her lips on yours again, and briefly a thought occurred to you that this woman could murder you, and you would probably thank her for the privilege. Therapy, maybe you should ask Wanda if she could get you in to see a therapist, because that wasn’t concerning at all. 

It wasn't in you to feel ashamed just then though, not when the very thought resonated in your soul. Gods, was this what you had been missing your entire life? And it had been right under your nose, for ages you had been unknowingly depriving yourself, hellbent on self-sabotage.

As you finally caught your breath, the witch gazed at you hungrily, causing a shiver to race down your spine.

"What do you want, detka?" Wanda asked, voice sultry. She tilted her head as if curious, but in reality, she was relishing in your disheveled appearance, eyes raking over your blown pupils, and kiss-swollen lips. So responsive for her, and this was only a kiss. Your first kiss with her, to be specific. Wanting to completely ruin you, it took every ounce of self-restraint for Wanda to wait for your answer instead.

Chest heaving, your brain struggled to pull together enough brain cells in order to provide her with an answer. When you finally spoke, your voice had a throaty quality you had never heard before.

”You. I want you.”

Green eyes, the color of jade, sparkled in such delight they could have practically illuminated the room with their vibrant glow. As you stared into her mesmerizing gaze, you got lost in her presence. Your mind was a myriad of thoughts, unable to focus on anything else. Every word she spoke, every movement she made, had a profound impact on you. As if the witch had cast a spell over you, weaving her magic effortlessly, and you willingly succumbed to her enchantment, eager to be under her captivating influence. 

A mischievous smile played upon her lips, adding an air of mystery to her already enchanting demeanor. The grin hinted at the hidden depths within her, the playful intentions that lied just beneath the surface. So, as Wanda’s mischievous smile lingered, you couldn't help but be drawn further into her web of enchantment, willingly surrendering yourself to the metaphorical spell she had cast.

"Oh, lyubov, will you let me ruin you?" she asked teasingly, her voice filled with impishness and a hint of excitement.

Swallowing nervously, you felt desire building deep within you. Your experiences in this matter were limited, but you trusted the former avenger all the same. Still, you had a sneaking suspicion that whatever Wanda had in store for you would likely test your limits, even if you had no idea what those were yet. Eagerly, you nodded, ready to throw yourself headlong into this unknown, trusting the witch implicitly.

The moment her silky lips met yours once again, a hunger ignited within her, surprising both of you with its intensity and passion. Wanda pulled you close, her fingers curled in your hair, keeping you in place as she plundered your mouth. You could do little but let her lead the way, trying not to embarrass yourself with how much she was turning you on. Her sharp teeth tugged on your lower lip before biting down hard enough to draw blood. A pitiful whine was barely restrained by you as Wanda lapped at the new wound she had caused.

Deciding to test your boundaries during the kiss, the redhead gently wrapped her other hand around your throat. Not tight enough to cut off your oxygen supply, but the pressure did restrict some of the blood flow to your brain, leaving you in a deliciously foggy haze. A breathy moan escaped you, which Wanda eagerly swallowed as you gladly ceded control of the kiss to her. Pride out the window, you were no longer capable of trying to withhold any sounds she could draw from you. Wanda found it delightful that so far you were proving to be the perfect little котёнок for her. The redhead eagerly anticipated discovering what other surprises you had in store for her.

The other hand not on your neck moved from your hair down to the first button of your shirt and hesitated. “Is this okay, Y/N?” She asked, voice surprisingly soft for someone who currently had one of their hands wrapped around your neck.

Sluggish thoughts hazy with lust, you nodded with what would have probably counted as an embarrassing amount of enthusiasm. Having someone as gorgeous as Wanda in front of you, asking for your consent, you found you couldn’t be bothered by your eagerness. You were a simp, and you were fine with that. Anything to get more of Wanda touching you.

The former Avenger grinned, finding you utterly adorable. She was charmed by how needy you were for her. Unable to help but revel in the power dynamics between you, relishing the opportunity to challenge your blissed-out mind and watch as you struggled to comply with her demands. It was a delightful game for Wanda, and she was going to have fun training you.

Before she could continue though, the witch wanted you to be absolutely sure. Regardless of how long she had waited for you, if you weren’t truly ready, Wanda didn’t want to push you. She wanted all of you, everything you had to give, but if you still weren’t ready, weren’t sure, she could wait. Wanda would wait forever if she had to. 

 “Lyubov moya, if you want me to stop at any point, just say the word, and I’ll stop immediately, okay? Full stop, I promise, and I won’t be upset with you.” she insisted, voice thick with longing as her nose grazed gently across yours in a reassuring manner. 

Even now, Wanda was always putting your safety and happiness as her top priority, endearing her evermore to you. How could you have ever doubted that this woman had anything but your best interests at heart? The purest of intentions?

Knowing it was a bit over dramatic, while you appreciated her reassurances, if the witch didn’t do something in the next few seconds, you felt like you might combust. Releasing a needy whine, you hoped to convey your desperation to Wanda who only chuckled at your behavior. 

“Relax, malyshka, I’ll take good care of you, I promise. But first, I need you to use your words, darling.” The hand on your throat easing its grip a little, allowing more blood to your brain, giving you back some of your intellectual capacity.

With Wanda’s body covering yours, you petulantly ground against her in the hopes of achieving any sort of friction, causing her lips to quirk upwards in an amused smirk. You weren’t going to get out of this until she had confirmation of your understanding, and if she happened to tease you into a petulant, writing mess in the process, well, that was just the cherry on top.

Giving in, you let out a keening whimper. “I understand Wands, please. Just touch me. Please!”

A wolfish grin overtook Wanda’s face at your begging. Green eyes locked with yours, and she could see the desire and longing in your eyes, mirroring her own. The way you looked at her, with a mixture of vulnerability and trust, made her heart flutter with a sense of joy and fulfillment. You were willing to surrender yourself to her guidance, to allow her to take the lead and shape you into the person she knew you could become. That kind of implicit trust and faith you had in her shot her arousal through the roof.

With each passing moment, Wanda's excitement grew, knowing that she had the opportunity to train and mold you into her perfect little котёнок. She relished the thought of all the fun games that lay ahead, confident in her ability to guide you towards your full potential. Your willingness to submit to her desires fueled her passion, making her all the more determined to own you completely. This power was the ultimate high, and she didn’t think she could ever get enough of it.

Her hand moved from your throat to wrap around your waist with a firm yet gentle grasp, pulling you closer to her in an undeniable display of ownership. The touch of her hand on your hip sent a surge of adrenaline coursing through your veins, igniting a fire within you that you had never experienced before. It was a possessiveness that transcended the boundaries of mere desire, a possessiveness that spoke volumes about the depth of her emotions for you.

Far from being suffocating, her dominance was a testament to the strength of your bond. A tangible manifestation of the passion that burned between the two of you, it was a flame that only grew stronger with each passing moment. Her assertive touch was a declaration, a proclamation of her utter devotion and fierce protectiveness towards you.

In that instant, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the intensity of her feelings. A sensation that both thrilled and comforted you, it was a magnetic pull that drew you closer to her with each passing second. Feeling as if you were the center of her universe, the focus of her unfaltering attention, and you visibly preened under her attentiveness. Your hands which were clenching the bottom of her shirt held fast, unwilling to let her move more than a few inches away.

Now that she had your consent and had subtly established your place with her, Wanda's svelte hands returned to the task of unbuttoning your shirt. Unable to resist the allure of your lips for long, she passionately kissed you once again. As your lips moved against each other with a sensual rhythm, Wanda swiftly unbuttoned your shirt. Before you knew it, your shirt was completely undone, revealing your torso to her exploring hands. A shiver ran through your body as her slightly cool palm pressed against your abdomen for the very first time, the gravity of her body pressing you further into the wall. While you had felt her touch on your skin before, it had never been this intimate, this exhilarating.

As her hand glided over your bare skin, heat coursed through your body, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. The flames within you steadily stoked by every caress. Your breath hitched as her touch lingered, tracing delicate patterns along your abdomen.

Growing desperate you deepened the kiss. Your hands instinctively reach for her, moving from the hem of her shirt to tangle in her hair as you pull her closer. The magnitude of the moment was almost too much, feeling the desire consuming you from within.

Wanda's lips slid against yours with a fervent hunger. Her roving hands continued their journey, tracing every curve and contour of your torso with an almost reverent touch, sending pleasure coursing through your body. As your lips moved in perfect synchrony, heightening your senses, it left you yearning for more. The room was filled with a heady mix of desire and anticipation, as you both gave in to the draw of the moment..

Lost in the haze of passion, you couldn't help but give yourself completely to Wanda's touch. The way she explored every inch of your body with a delicate yet possessive hand left you breathless, craving more of her commanding aura. It was a dance of pleasure and surrender, a symphony of sensations that left you craving her touch like a drug. You had never needed anyone or anything as much as you needed Wanda to continue doing whatever she wanted to you.

As the kiss broke, both of you gasped for air. Wanda, still breathing heavily, leaned back to take in the sight of your newly revealed skin, her eyes darkening with want. Though never having been confident in your own body, often choosing to cover up, to hide in your self-consciousness, the way Wanda was looking at you now though left no doubt she liked what she saw. Yet still your insecurities plagued you, especially now that you were no longer covered up and there was nothing for you to hide behind.

The witch didn’t need to read your mind to know where your thoughts were going. The expression on your face, the way you tried to curl in on yourself made it plain. Voice thick with desire, Wanda needed to reassure you. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N. Don’t ever let yourself believe otherwise.”

Though you didn’t truly believe her words, her tone and the way she held you like she couldn’t get enough was almost capable of convincing you in and of itself. You decided then that throwing yourself into this was the fastest way to get out of your head. Throwing caution to the wind, you slammed your lips against Wanda’s again, desperate for more of her.

Impatient, you couldn't resist the urge to guide Wanda's hands lower, craving for her to touch you more. Deft fingers brushed against a particularly sensitive spot, sending a surge of pleasure  shooting through you, and tearing a quiet gasp from your mouth. Your body responded eagerly to her every caress, arching into her hands, silently begging for more. Emboldened by your response, Wanda's touch grew daring, her kisses to your neck pressing harder leaving red welts that would purple over by tomorrow. Her marks on you would tell all who you belonged to. Her fingers began exploring your body with a newfound confidence. The touch was both gentle and possessive, leaving you with the utter clarity that she wanted to mark every inch of you as her own, even the parts of you no one else would ever see.

The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, heavy with desire. Feeling the urgency building within you, your body pressed closer to Wanda's, seeking to ease some of the pressure within. Her touch was all at once overwhelming yet not enough.

Determined to elicit every delicious sound she could from you, one of Wanda's hands finally moved to your breast. Gently she cupped it while her thumb teased you by gliding around your areola, avoiding your hardened bud. She took great enjoyment in your whimpers and gasps as she teased you. If she had it her way, she would keep you like this, never giving you quite what you wanted. Wanda would ease you into that eventually though. For now, this was enough.

Eventually she had mercy on you, letting her thumb lightly graze across your nipple. A deep, throaty groan emanated from within you, your hips bucking against hers, unbidden. Taking the opportunity you had presented her with, Wanda slotted her knee between your thighs, applying firm pressure just where you needed it most. You whispered an exhaled curse as your head slumped forward onto the older woman’s shoulder. Your grip on her tightened, the urge to just rut against Wanda’s leg nearly overpowering what little was left of your rational mind.

Wanda could feel the subtle grinding of your hips against her leg, and she encouraged it, pressing harder each time you arched towards her. The witch grasped your hips firmly, helping to set your rhythm as you desperately sought more friction between the apex of your thighs.

For someone who hadn't even taken off their pants yet, you were surprisingly worked up, but you were far too focused on chasing your high to be overly concerned about it. Sensing how close you were, Wanda pulled away from you, calling forth a keening whine from you. The older woman chuckled softly at your desperation. Her raspy voice next to your ear made you shudder. 

"Patience, dorogoya, I don't want you to come just yet unless it's in my mouth or on my fingers."

Wholly unprepared for her words as you were, they almost single-handedly threatened to ruin the witch’s plans as you nearly came on the spot. Wanda was aware that you had likely never edged before, and while she should have shown some mercy, she found no enjoyment in that prospect. Her intention was to have you so drunk for her to the point where you would become a helpless, trembling wreck, willing to do anything she desired just to reach that peak. Then, she planned to repeatedly push you off that ledge so many times that you would be a boneless, quivering mess for her by the time she was done with you.

As her words hung in the air, you felt a mixture of anticipation and hesitation. This was a new territory for you, one that you weren't entirely sure of what you were getting into. But as you looked into Wanda's eyes, filled with desire and a touch of mischief, you couldn't deny your feelings. You wanted to experience everything she was willing to show you, to give yourself fully and trust in her to guide you through this journey of pleasure.

With a deep breath, you nodded, your voice barely above a whisper, "I trust you, Wanda."

A smug smile played on Wanda's lips as she gently held your cheek. "Good," she purred, her voice laced with satisfaction. "I promise you won't regret it. Now, let’s take this to the bed.” She didn’t want your first time together to be rutting up against a wall.

Wanda grasped your hand, leading you the remainder of the distance to your shared bed. Once there the witch assisted you in removing the remnants of your clothes, gently pushing you backwards onto the bed. Before joining you, she took a moment to admire your naked body, as you looked up at her with a combination of desire and excitement. You were uncertain of her intentions, but the fact that you were willing to trust her filled Wanda's heart with joy.

With a gaze that could only be described as ravenous, she studied you and quietly uttered a curse. "Fucking exquisite" she husked, hoping to drive home her words from earlier.

Squirming under her intense gaze, you blushed deeply at her compliment. No one had ever called you that before, not in your entire life. The longer you laid there, alone under her scrutiny, the greater your need for Wanda grew. Before you could ask her to rejoin you, she was already removing her own clothes with purpose. You waited with bated breath, as Wanda revealed her body which you swore could have been sculpted by Michelangelo himself. Honestly, you thought it was a little unfair for someone to look so perfect. You felt absolutely privileged to be in this moment with her, that she had chosen you of all people to witness her glory. No one you had ever seen, in person or even on tv could compare. Wanda was a goddess, and you wanted to worship at her altar.

The redhead knew she was an attractive woman, but your loud thoughts were giving her quite the ego boost. She had you right where she wanted you, but Wanda would be damned if she allowed your self-deprecation to continue. There was not a single doubt in her mind that you were equally deserving to be here with her.

“Your thoughts are loud, malyshka.” She almost giggled at how red your face turned when she called you out, reminding you of her powers, and your gaze dropped.

 “While I’m flattered, darling, you need to know.” Wanda said with certainty as she began crawling up the bed towards you. Once she had crawled up the length of your body, the witch trailed her fingertips along your thigh, and up your torso to your face. Curling a graceful finger under your chin, she tilted your face upwards until you made eye contact.

“You are stunning, lyubov moya. There is no one else I would want to be here with right now. Not in the entire multiverse, believe me, I’ve looked. No one but you. Can you trust me on that, Y/N?”

Green eyes searched Y/E/C for any sign of lingering insecurity. With the witch looking at you so earnestly, your doubts faded into the background. They would likely never be completely silent, but in this moment, those thoughts were just white noise. Speaking was currently too difficult for you so instead you simply nodded at her words.

No longer able to hear your uncertainty as loudly, Wanda felt you were ready to continue. “Good, but just to make sure, I’m going to show you.”

Before you could ask what she meant, Wanda kissed you again. Her hand, which was previously under your chin, caressed down your chest and cupped your breast. She gave it a gentle squeeze, causing a soft sound to escape your throat.

As Wanda's touch re-ignited the flicker of pleasure within you, her lips and tongue traced a path of heated kisses down your neck, leaving a hot trail of saliva behind. Her skilled hand continued to explore your body, evoking an oeuvre of gasps and moans. Eventually, her lips settled on one of the places you desired the most, enveloping your nipple.

Once Wanda's lips closed around your hardened bud, a jolt of pleasure shot through your body, causing you to arch your back in response. Her tongue teased and circled the sensitive bud, sending ecstasy pulsating through your veins. While Wanda continued to lavish attention on your aching nipple, her other hand trailed down your body, caressing and exploring every inch of your skin. The combination of her skilled touch and the intense pleasure coursing through your body made it difficult to think or focus on anything else. 

Her hand continued its exploration, gliding over your skin with a feather-light touch. Every brush of her fingertips, each flick of her tongue against you sent your arousal to new heights. Your senses were completely consumed by her, the world around you fading once again into a distant blur.

Completely at Wanda's mercy, you found yourself basking in her every touch and caress. The pleasure she was bestowing upon you was the best high you had ever felt, addictive and irresistible. Your mind was filled with a primal need, a craving for more of the pleasure that only she could provide.

Wanda switched breasts, moving to lavish attention on the other one ensuring it didn't feel neglected. Her hand continued to tease your flesh, raising goosebumps to form on your skin. 

Unable to sit still, your own hands came up to tangle themselves in the redhead’s hair. Head held firmly in place by you, Wanda's hand slid lower, exploring the wetness that had pooled between your thighs. Svelte fingers teased your entrance, and you gasped as the anticipation nearly undid you.  Back arched, begging for more, you whispered a “please!”

Helpless to deny your plea, Wanda's fingers dipped inside you, your slick allowing them to slide in with ease. You moaned lowly as she began to move her fingers in a slow, deliberate rhythm, curling and stroking against your most sensitive spots. The pleasure built within you, radiating through your body like an electric current.

Your hands tightened in her hair, pulling her closer to you as your hips instinctively rocked against her hand, seeking deeper pleasure. Wanda matched your movements, her pace increasing, driving you closer to the edge. Her lips found yours once again, swallowing your moans as the pleasure consumed you.

The room was filled with the sound of your shared breaths, the wet, almost obscene sound of her fingers moving inside you, and the symphony of your pleasure. Each stroke of her fingers sent you spiraling further into this rapturous euphoria, your body trembling with desire.

Lost in the carnality of the moment, you could feel the heat building within you, the pressure mounting until you were teetering on the edge. Sensing your imminent release, Wanda's fingers quickened their pace, driving you towards oblivion. Moans growing louder, they mingled with the sound of your ragged breaths.

“Are you gonna come for me baby?” She asked, voice dripping sweetly with lust, not letting up the pace even a little. The woman knew what she was doing to you, and couldn’t resist drawing it out just a bit. 

Beneath her, you squirmed and bucked in place, desperation eeking off you in waves. You hadn’t exactly had many partners to begin with, and you had certainly never been especially vocal with any of them. Wanda couldn't have you being all shy on her now though. She wanted to hear each and every sound she could possibly draw out of you as proof of how good she was making you feel, her fingers hitting that special spot deep inside of you that had always been just out of your own reach.

“Now dorogaya, use your words. Are you going to be a good girl and come for me? If you can’t answer me then I guess I should stop.” Wanda slowed her pace and you all but wailed your frustration.

“Yes, yes I’m going to come. I’m so close, Wands, please don’t stop!”

Truthfully that should have been enough for her but sadistically she wanted to push your boundaries further still. She smirked at your pleas. 

“I won’t stop, Y/N, but you can’t come until I give you permission.”

You didn’t think you had ever been on such a precipice of euphoria before. It was right there if only Wanda would let you. Part of you wanted to ignore what she said and let yourself go, but the part of you that yearned to be good for her won out in the end. 

You begged pitifully. “Please Wanda, please let me come! I’ll be your good girl, please, just let me come!” You would say anything the woman wanted as long as she would let you finally finish.

It was positively sinful how your submission made Wanda feel. She wanted to experience you like this every day for the rest of your lives. The tremor of your voice as you begged, how quickly and completely you accepted her commands, it was positively sublime.

“Well when you beg so prettily for me, how can I resist? Be a good girl, Y/N - come for me.” Her fingers curled deliciously, mercilessly hitting your new favorite spot. 

With Wanda’s permission, the world shattered around you as your orgasm crashed over. Your body convulsed with exquisite hedonism, every nerve ending alive with sensation. Wanda's name were the only words from your mouth as you rode the high, your orgasm careening over you in a tidal wave of pleasure.

For Wanda, feeling your wet heat tighten around her fingers, practically refusing to allow her to pull back to even help you through your peak, was so perfect. You didn’t know it, but it was enough to make Wanda topple over the edge alongside you, her head dropping to the crook of your neck while she whispered sweet nothings in your ear, struggling to bring you gently down from your high. 

As the aftershocks of your release subsided, Wanda gently withdrew her fingers, her touch lingering for a moment before she pressed a soft kiss to your lips. She held you close, her presence a comforting anchor as you came down from the heights of pleasure. You whimpered at the feeling of emptiness after being so joyously full.

Breathless and sated, you nestled into her embrace, feeling a profound sense of contentment and connection. And as you lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, you felt that this was just the beginning of something beautiful between you both. You had made the decision to trust Wanda with your body, heart, and soul, and in this moment, everything felt so right.

Wanting to return the favor, and make Wanda feel as good as you did, but as you tried to shift in her embrace, the former avenger simply held you tighter. Feeling rejected, you wilted in her arms. Perhaps you had already failed to live up to her expectations, so much so that she didn’t even want you to touch her. How heartbreaking to have failed so soon, to never get the chance to prove yourself.

Voice soft, Wanda alleviates your fears. “Not tonight, darling. Tonight was all about you. Rest with me for a little while, detka, I just want to hold you. May I do that, Y/N?”

Murmuring a quiet assent, you settled into the comfort Wanda provided. You both laid there, basking in the intimacy you both had just shared, feeling content and happy. It wasn’t long until your eyes began to droop, signifying you were about to nod off.

Sensing how close you were to sleep, the witch gently roused you. She giggled at your grumblings for the disruption but insisted you both needed to clean up. Shaking your head, you whined as you tried to hold her in place with you, unwilling to let her go for any reason. Wanda  had to actively restrain herself from cooing at your adorable stubbornness.

“Come on now, it’ll be just a few minutes and then we can go back to sleep, okay darling?”

Petulantly you shook your head, and Wanda full on belly laughed, holding you tightly to her while she did so. Her laughter was infectious, and you couldn’t help but chuckle as well, knowing you were being a bit ridiculous.

Eventually, both of you calmed down, and Wanda pulled away from your embrace, mentioning that she would be right back. You let her go, but you pouted the entire time she was in the bathroom. After a few moments, you could hear the sink running, and then the witch returned to you with a warm, damp washcloth in her hand. With an unprecedented level of care, Wanda cleaned between your legs, removing any trace of the night's activities, while being mindful not to overstimulate you.

“There we go, detka. All clean. Let me just throw this in the sink, and we can go to sleep.”

Doing exactly as she had said, Wanda quickly returned, swiftly maneuvering her way into the cozy bed beside you. With a few gentle movements, she skillfully arranged the soft sheets to envelop both of you, creating a warm and comfortable cocoon.

Once she was finished setting up the sheets, you wasted no time in crawling back into her arms, burying your face into the divot where her neck and shoulder met. You felt like you had been through the wringer, but in the best way. When she had gotten up to clean you both, with her no longer being in your arms, your emotions had run all over the place. Now all you wanted was to be as physically close to the redhead as possible, to reassure yourself that she wasn’t abandoning you after such a vulnerable act.

Wanda was not at all opposed. Quite thrilled in fact, and as she held you, one hand came to gingerly trace random shapes along the side of your face, whispering nonsensical words of love and solace. Pillowy lips placed a soft kiss to your forehead.

As you drifted off to sleep, feeling safer and happier than in your entire life, you heard Wanda whisper in her native tongue. You were curious, but too far gone to ask her what she meant.

“я так люблю тебя, дорогая. (I love you so much, darling.) I promise I will always keep you safe, and I will never let you go.”

A/N 2: ... Why do I have a higher word count for a chapter with smut than any other chapter? .... Reasons. We're going with "reasons". So uhhh... yay? nay? Yeet myself off a cliff? Also if anyone wants to be added to the taglist just lemme know in the comments.

Taglist: @dorabledewdroop

[danikamariewrites]

Hi lovely if your still taking requests can u pls do a

Azriel and rhysand ddlg poly relationship where reader is on her period and feels really sick on top of that as well like she has a fever and has really bad cramps aswell and keeps trying to hid/deal with it on there own but is throwing up a lot and passing out soo it just gets worsw

bc I’m thats me currently i have a flu 🤒 and am on my period i feel like death i wish i had someone to comfort me and watch after me lol 😂

We’ll Always Take Care of You

Rhysriel x reader

A/n: I still can’t believe I goofed on the other rhysriel ask I’m literally so embarrassed like what is wrong with my brain 🫣

And I’m sorry you’re so sick! I’ve had the flu and my period at the same time and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone it’s awful

Warnings: poly relationship, ddlg, daddy kink, mentions of pain and sickness, and typos bc I’m very tired lol

You were thankful that your doting mates weren’t with you this morning since you woke up drenched in sweat and shaking. Your cycle hit you in the middle of the night so you thought that the sick feeling taking over your body was related.

Oh how wrong you were.

You thought you made it through flu season successfully unscathed. Your latest trip to the city must’ve been where you caught it. You knew that little boy at the cafe table next to you was sick. Kicking yourself mentally you vowed to never be around another violently coughing child again.

You could get through this. You’d been sick and had your cycle before. It was unpleasant but bearable with the help of tonics from Madja. Pulling yourself out of bed you hobble to the bathroom to down one or two tonics before heading to your study.

The pain didn’t feel so bad after you took the tonics. You felt good for a while. Then a coughing fit had you bending over making your cramps worse. Your throat felt like a barren desert and you couldn’t get a breath in to help you. Once it had passed you laid on the floor, breathing in and out, in and out, until that sore scratchy feeling in your throat went away.

You wanted to stay on the floor forever. Another pang in your abdomen has you curling up in a ball, rolling on to your side. As the pain subsides you check to make sure your side of the bond was closed. The last thing you wanted was to project your pain to Az and Rhys.

You have to admit, you were a little hurt that neither of your mates have come to check on you. You were craving their attention right now, but you were determined to make it through your work today. Then tomorrow you would relax.

By lunch time you were dragging yourself around. Your body felt heavy and you have a splitting headache that you can feel behind your eyes. All you want to do was sleep with a cool cloth on your head. You have to pull yourself together, you didn’t want to worry Rhys and Azriel. Although you do love to be babied by them. But they were so busy lately you didn’t want to distract them.

Sitting in your usually seat you use magic to hide your scent. The mix of sickness and blood making your nose twitch.

The pair enter the room deep in discussion about something happening in Illyria. Good, they haven’t noticed you yet. Az and Rhys sit in their usual seats across from you, giving you twin loving smiles. “We haven’t seen you all day princess, I’m so sorry.” Az coos at you.

You smile back at them through the pain that’s coursing through your body. “It’s ok,” you croak out. Rhys tilts his head, giving you a concerned look as you feel him tug on the bond. Phantom claws gently caress your mental shields that you push back against.

“You’re pale darling. What’s wrong?” You give him a tight lipped smile. “Nothing Rhysie, I’m fine.” Rhysie gives you a disapproving look. “What have we said about lying darling?” Avoiding their gazes you look down at your hands. Tears prick the corners of your eyes, not able to hold back your emotions from the intense pain you are experiencing. You immediately felt small, the need for your mates to take care of you becoming overwhelming.

“You said not to, I’m sorry daddy.” You let your tears fall, letting go of the shield around you Rhys and Azriel were by your side in an instant. Both wrapping their arms around you. “Why didn’t you say anything to us?” Azriel asks softly. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

Rhys clicks his tongue at you. “We’d drop everything to take care of you. Especially when you’re this sick. Let’s get you back to bed.” Azriel scoops you up in his arms leaving a gentle kiss against your forehead.

“She’s burning up Rhys.” His tone full of fear. Rhys looked back and saw you practically passed out in Azriel’s arms. They took off toward the bedroom.

The next morning you woke up to Rhys sitting in bed next to you. Letting out a groan you roll over, snuggling into his side. “Hi baby, how are you feeling?” You let out a louder groan. Rhys chuckles as he brings a hand down to play with your hair.

You prop yourself up on your elbows and they immediately start to shake from how weak you are. Looking around the room you notice Az is missing. “Where’s Azzy?” The door opens revealing Azriel carrying a tray of mugs of tea.

“Good you’re up. How are you feeling?” You flop back on the bed face down. “I feel like the Bogge ran at me then stomped on my stomach.”

“Aaww our poor baby.” Az coos at you. He sits on the other side of you and rubs soothing circles on your back. You hear him uncork a tonic bottle, picking you up to lean against his chest. “Here baby take this.” You open your mouth for him to dump the liquid down your throat.

Azriel moves to lay you back down but you cling to him, shifting to lay on him. “Will you both hold me?” You mumble out. “Of course.” Rhys whispered kissing the back of your ruffled head. You already felt better being nestled between them even though you had a long week ahead of you.

[ghosts-and-demons]

this is the smuttiest excerpt from the first chapter of a story i'm writing, so some details don't have context but also, let's not pretend we're not here for the porn lol

contains: male werewolf on female vampire smut, blood play, piss, knotting, dubcon, violence, dirty talk, size difference

Tash’s heart thudded in her chest. It was hours past the time the scent masking potion would have worn off, and if she could smell a werewolf, it could certainly smell her. She knew there was a pack outside the city limits, but she hadn’t known how close they’d apparently gotten. It was unlike werewolves to venture so close to cities—unlike witches, they were not motivated by power. In fact, most werewolf packs wanted one thing above all else: to be left alone. Cities, with the bustling nightlife, crowded streets, and loud everything, were not their usual stomping grounds. They preferred wide open, sparsely populated spaces. National parks, forests, the plains… so why was this one so close to the city?

It was only one, she was sure now. Close enough that she could distinguish his scent. She closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe calmly. She could outrun a werewolf, but he had her scent, just as she had his. No werewolf pack would allow a vampire to know where they denned. She would be hunted down and slaughtered, or else exposed to the Brakefield coven when the pack demanded her memory of him be erased. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all. She would have to kill him, and she hated killing, even if it was to ensure her own survival. It was a waste, plain and simple.

“Who’s there?” came a masculine voice.

Tash frowned, for multiple reasons. One, the werewolf was the only other being around. So, two, why was he pretending like he didn’t know she was there? And three, she recognized that voice. She wracked her brain, trying to put a face to the voice. Who was that?

“If you’re thinking of mugging me, I wouldn’t,” he said.

“Holy shit,” she whispered. The voice belonged to a man she hadn’t seen in years. She was certain he hadn’t been a werewolf when they’d known each other. He’d broken a collarbone playing softball in a local league, and it had taken a human amount of time to heal. Had he been a werewolf, the injury would have taken care of itself in a matter of days. And besides, she’d been turned almost a year before they lost touch, and they’d spent time together in person once during that period. It had taken all of her willpower not to hypnotize, drain, and fuck him, but she’d managed it. That was how she’d known she was ready to truly enter the world as a fledgling vampire. “Gabriel?”

He heard her. “What—who is that?” He headed in the direction of her voice. She stepped out from her hiding spot behind a massive oak tree, and his gaze fell on her harshly. “Tash?” he asked, incredulous. It was a fair reaction. The last time they’d spoken was shortly after he married a woman who forbade him from seeing her—the woman had seen the way Gabriel looked at Tash, and rightfully objected.

“Yeah, hi,” she said awkwardly. “So.”

He blinked. “I thought you moved.”

“I—what? I mean, I did, but…” She shook her head, confused. There was a new scent wafting off of him, something that made her brain feel like its sharp edges were being worn down. “Is that really the most important question right now?”

He shifted on his feet. “You mean besides ‘what are you doing here?’”

“No. What? I mean, I’m…” She held her hands out in a ‘stop’ gesture. Her mind was clouded. She felt like she couldn’t take her eyes off of Gabriel’s body. Had he always been so… “Okay, hold on. We’re gonna start from the top.”

“What are you freaking out about?” he interrupted.

“No, shut up,” she said, glaring at him, trying desperately not to think about how good he looked. “Why are you being weird?”

“How am I being weird?” he asked, laughing at the ridiculousness of the suggestion.

“Acting like neither of us know what—wait.” Suddenly, she remembered the illness that had hospitalized him about a year before their falling out. He’d lost his sense of smell. “Oh my god,” she said. “You can’t smell me, can you?”

His nose wrinkled. “What?”

She sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Oh, this is bad. Oh, this is so bad.” It was still bad for her, of course, but now it was bad for him, too. His pack would be able to smell her on him, just like they’d be able to smell the lie if he tried to say he’d taken care of it. He’d be punished for letting her go, and they’d still hunt her down. “Okay,” she said, taking a deep breath. That was a mistake. She realized, as she inhaled a lungful, that the scent coming from Gabriel was pheromones—one of the many weapons in a werewolf’s arsenal. Too much more of this, and she’d be putty in his hands. Popular theory was that vampires would be immune to the chemical secretions, since werewolves were disgusted by vampires’ stench of death, and most vampires agreed werewolves smelled like dog in the worst way. Well, Tash would be happy to prove that theory wrong. His pheromones were definitely working, and only her willpower stopped her from falling to her knees and taking his cock into her mouth then and there.

“Are you okay?” he asked, taking a step forward.

She almost hissed at him. She was being an idiot; vampires didn’t even need to breathe. She stopped, and her head cleared slightly, but the damage was done. Her clit throbbed. She couldn’t remember a time in her life she’d ever been so wet. Thank god he can’t smell, she thought. “I’m fine,” she half-snarled. “Sorry. It’s… there’s a lot going on that you don’t know.”

“Such as?” he asked drolly.

She glared at him. “I’m a vampire. Have been since a couple years before we… before you got married.”

His eyes went wide and he took a staggering step backward. “You—?”

“Yeah. So you’re going to have to do some kind of deep clean on yourself before you can go back to your pack, unless you feel like murdering me.” He opened his mouth to respond, but she continued, “Which I wouldn’t recommend. I’m part of the Pollux clan. You don’t want that retribution coming down on you, I can assure you.”

He clenched his jaw. “Something tells me a tomato juice bath isn’t going to cut it.”

She laughed darkly. “I think you’re right. I know an alchemist I trust, though. I’m sure he has something up his sleeve.” She pulled out her phone and sent Clyde a quick text, hoping he got back to her quickly. “In the meantime, I have more bad news for you. You’re obviously new to lycanthropy—”

“Hey,” he objected.

“—because you don’t even know you’re pumping out pheromones faster than I can absorb them,” she continued dryly.

“I what?”

“Yeah,” she said. “You can’t control it because you can’t smell, I’d bet. You need to get somebody in your pack to teach you how to keep that under wraps.”

He was frowning. “I thought the pheromones were… strong,” he said, obviously not using the word he wanted to use.

She licked her lips. “They are.”

“You don’t seem very affected.”

“I am.”

He blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah. It’s a goddamn miracle your cock isn’t in my mouth right now,” she said. Later she would say she couldn’t help herself, but the truth was, she could. She just didn’t want to.

He tensed, hunching his shoulders slightly and clenching his fists. “You shouldn’t say things like that,” he said, looking her up and down.

She smirked and sauntered closer. “Turnabout’s fair play,” she said. “I’m just evening the playing field.” She raked him with her gaze. “And it’s not like we don’t know where you stand on the subject.”

He took a step forward. “I’ll hurt you.”

This time, she laughed outright. “Sweetheart, I’m a vampire, and I fed an hour ago. You could run me over with an eighteen wheeler with blenders for tires and it wouldn’t put a dent in me.” She cocked her head as she realized the implications of his words. “You haven’t had sex since you turned, have you?”

“Not with a—only with other werewolves,” he admitted. He had to bend his head down to look at her now, they were so close.

“Not your wife?”

He growled low in his throat. “We’re not together anymore.”

Tash closed the short distance between them, reaching for the button of his jeans and undoing it swiftly. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, inhaling his scent once more. She enjoyed the lightheaded feeling it gave her, loved the throbbing need it sent racing through her veins like lightning. “Mm, you smell like a thunderstorm.” She reached into his pants, freeing his semi-hard cock and stroking it with her palm.

“Don’t go brainless on me,” he teased, and a fresh wave of pheromones spilled from him like rain.

Tash’s pupils went wide as she gulped them in, her mouth hanging open in pleasure. It was like a warm bath for all her senses, and his hands on her body kicked her libido into overdrive. She sank to her knees, the soft grass cushioning her as she licked Gabriel’s cock and took it into her mouth, sucking gently as he hardened on her tongue. His fingers combed through her hair, gripping it firmly at the back to give himself a proper handle. She leaned away from his cock for long enough to say, “Be as rough as you want. You won’t hurt me.” Immediately, she took him into her throat, gagging slightly.

Gabriel groaned and let his head fall back as he basked in the pleasure of a warm throat swallowing the entire length of his cock. “Jesus Christ,” he sighed, using his grip on her hair to bob her head down onto his cock faster. “Fuck, you’re such a good cocksucker.” She moaned at his feet, the vibration of it in her throat surrounding his cock and making him shiver. “Oh, you like that, baby?” he said, looking down at her. She met his eyes with his cock in her throat. “You like being a good little cocksucker for me?” With his cock still stuffing her throat, she did her best to let out an affirmative. He chuckled. “Let’s see how good you can be.” He started fucking her throat in earnest, thrusting for all he was worth.

She could feel bruises and tears forming in her throat before immediately healing. Even if she weren’t buzzed from his pheromones, the endorphin rush of a fast heal always made her a little bit giddy. The combination of Gabriel’s scent and her own endorphins was a powerful rush that went straight between her legs. Her pussy was gushing, and she reached down to pull her skirt up, rubbing her clit furiously as an orgasm overtook her.

Gabriel slowed his thrusts to look down at her in shock. “Did you just cum?”

She did her best to nod, blinking up at him.

“What a good fucking slut you are,” he cooed, petting her jaw and pulling her hair back again, into his fist. “Do it again.”

Her eyes rolled back in her head as he fucked her throat once more. She lifted her free hand to squeeze her tits—ever since becoming a vampire, she’d stopped wearing bras. Her nipples were hard as diamond through the soft fabric of her shirt, and she moaned again, pinching and rolling one between her fingers. She shuddered as another orgasm hit her in waves, her hips bucking against her hand. Fuck, she’d never felt so good in her entire life. No wonder vampires hated werewolves—if they didn’t, they’d be mindless fuckslaves, and they’d love every second of it. Vampiric superiority wouldn’t survive a single second against werewolf pheromones.

Gabriel growled and pulled her head off of his cock, then helped her stand. Her mouth hung open and he could hear her jaw snapping back into place—he’d dislocated it with his thrusts. The thought made his cock twitch. “You were so good, cumming for me with my cock in your mouth,” he told her, bending down to kiss her softly. “Good girls get a reward.” He trailed kisses down to her neck while his hands roamed over her body, squeezing her tits, ass, and thighs. When he wanted to feel her tits in his palms, he just barely resisted the urge to rip her shirt from her body. Instead, he lifted it from the hem, and she raised her arms, allowing him to pull it free from her. He squeezed one breast in one hand while the other groped her ass, spreading her cheeks and making her even wetter.

She whimpered pathetically at the touch, wanting his hands all over her, his cock inside her, his tongue on her skin. She wanted all of him, right now. “Fuck me,” she whispered.

“Or what,” he said. She could hear the smirk in his voice.

Instead of answering, she pushed her skirt down, over her voluptuous hips. She was now completely naked, and he had not taken off a single piece of clothing.

“You keep looking that good,” he said, staring at her body with a hunger in his eyes so profound she was shocked he didn’t open his mouth to swallow her whole, “and I might have to make you mine.”

“Do it,” she said, adding just a trickle of her mind control into her words. It only seemed fair. “Please.” Her hands went to his chest, reaching under his shirt to feel the heat of his skin against her palms. “I need it, please!” With each plea, she added more glamor to her words.

“Please what?” he demanded.

“Please, sir,” she whimpered.

Fuck, he thought. Fuck, how did she know exactly what I wanted? He growled and threw her to the ground, stripping with the speed of an accomplished shapeshifter. He stepped out of his shoes and pinned her to the ground, face down. “Good girl,” he growled in her ear as he lined his cock up against her dripping pussy. He slid himself inside her slowly, inch by inch, allowing her to adjust to his size out of habit, before remembering that she was a vampire who would heal immediately. Her words earlier returned to him—be as rough as you want—and he snarled, slamming his cock inside her even as his teeth extended and he sank them into her neck, tasting her blood. She cried out, whether in pain or ecstasy, he wasn’t sure, but the sound drove him wild. He fucked her harder than he’d fucked anything in his entire life. He lifted himself up, licking her blood from his lips, and gathered her hair in his fist again, yanking her head back even as he fucked into her. She cursed and came instantly, shuddering as her pussy clenched around his cock. “That’s my baby girl,” he whispered in her ear. “Cum for me, baby.”

“Fuck,” she whined. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She reached to rub her clit once more, and felt another orgasm rise to the surface. “I’m gonna cum, daddy!”

Gabriel growled and smacked her ass hard enough to bruise. The soft flesh turned red, purple, black, green, yellow, and then returned to its original ivory over the course of a few seconds. He did it again, and again, until she was screaming and shaking. He yanked her head back so he could see the look on her face as she came. Tears streamed from her eyes even as she cried out for him.

He leaned back and picked her up, turning them so that her back rested against the oak tree she’d hidden behind earlier. He continued fucking her like that, the bark digging into her skin painfully, until he realized a moment later that her blood running through his veins was doing something strange—he could feel what she felt. He could feel his hands on her ass as though he inhabited her body, his cock sliding into her. “Oh, fuck,” he said as he grew lightheaded, and his lust increased tenfold. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He lost control.

Rapidly, his body grew. While his human form was six feet tall, his werewolf body was nearly seven. Humanoid, but covered in long, thick hair, with inch-long claws, fangs, and a snout, he was monstrous as he transformed. His cock, thick and long while human, was enormous now, and it was still inside Tash. He looked down, expecting fear on her face, and saw only unbridled lust. He released a long howl, and thrust up into her again. They both felt the pleasure of it, the pleasant stretching of her walls as his cock filled her to capacity and beyond. When he went so deep it injured her, the fuzzy pleasure of vampiric healing sent a thrill down their spines, and from then on, he held nothing back. His thick cock spread her wide, and he unleashed himself as he fucked her. She came within seconds, her hips grinding and slamming down onto him. He felt her orgasm in his own body, and his jaw hung open. He panted, taking a moment to recover. If this was what orgasms felt like as a woman… he was suddenly incredibly envious of Tash’s ability to cum this hard this often.

“Don’t stop,” she breathed.

He wrapped one monstrous, clawed hand around her throat, began fucking her again, and squeezed until he felt something break. Her choked, mangled cries of pleasure only made him go harder. His other hand moved to her tits, squeezing them, mindless of his claws. They sliced the tender flesh like butter, blood dripping crimson over porcelain skin. The more he hurt her, the harder she came. The slices in her flesh knit closed immediately, only to be opened again moments later, until he could no longer resist the urge to rip out her throat.

His teeth sank into the white flesh of her neck and clamped down. Her blood gushed into his mouth and his cock swelled inside her, his knot ballooning at her entrance to prevent his cum from escaping.

“G—fuck,” she managed to say with no throat. His knot was pressing on her bladder, and the bigger it swelled, the harder it became to resist, until her fingers were rubbing her clit furiously again. She pissed as she came, the warm liquid streaming out of her and onto Gabriel’s fur, making his cock twitch even as he came inside her. Her orgasm lasted a full minute, and Gabriel felt every second of it. He held still, but his cock was exploding inside her, shooting rope after rope of hot cum into her pussy. He knew that as soon as his knot receded, a veritable ocean of cum would spill out of her.

Reluctantly, he unclenched his jaw, feeling the rush of excitement as her throat healed. “I got a little carried away,” he admitted as he shifted back into his human form. His cock fell out of her pussy, followed almost immediately by a stream of cum. He lowered them both to the ground, and they laid on their backs to look at the stars.

Tash laughed tiredly. “We both did.”

“Did you know your blood would do that?”

“No idea,” she said. “It’s never happened before. Maybe it’s unique to werewolves?”

“That would explain why nobody knows about it,” he said with a thoughtful nod. He turned his head to look at her. “How much does your alchemist friend charge for… whatever can erase your scent from me?”

She shrugged. “It’s never come up before. But he’s always reasonable.” She looked over at him. “It’s not like we need to split the bill.”

He shook his head. “No, that’s not why I’m asking. I think we should make this a regular thing.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You wanna be fuckbuddies? With a vampire?”

“Tash,” he said seriously. “That was THE best sex I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a lot of sex. You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

She sighed. “No. No I cannot. You’re right. God, that was good. Fuck. When you crushed my windpipe? I was never a masochist, but fuck.”

“You have no idea how good it feels to be able to use my claws,” he added. “Other werewolves can take a beating, but they don’t want blood to be shed. But with you, I don’t have to hold back at all. Every urge, every desire, I can just let it out.” He shook his head. “Next time, I want to slit your throat. I want to see your blood spill over your chest.”

“Okay.” She paused. “Sorry I peed on you. That wasn’t on purpose.”

“Oh, fuck, no, that was so hot,” he assured her. “Maybe it’s a werewolf thing, or maybe I always had a piss kink and just never realized it, but no. That was hot. Please do that every time.”

She laughed. “I think I can make that happen.”

[bumblebeehug]

In The Heat Of The Moment

Summary: An answer to an interview is the straw that breaks the camel's, or in this case, Lucy's back. She has never been this angry with Natsu before - and he's never been this angry with her.

Warnings: No explicit content, but lots of swearing.

Notes: Sorry if this is a bit OOC lol, I got itchy fingers last year and wrote 90% of this fic in one go with no prior planning. Only got back to it now, but hey! It's finished!

Ao3

***

Lucy was so unbelievably fed up with Natsu. Even looking at him had her filled with an indescribable rage, practically making her fume. That stupid, idiot man! She had never felt this anger before, not even against a tough enemy she was facing during extra hard missions. No, no words could describe the resentment she felt towards Natsu, not even coming from her, a proper writer.

“You just don’t get it Natsu! God, can you please try to use that non-existent brain for once?” She yelled in despair, tears welling over in her eyes from the heartbreaking frustration building in her heart.

“No, I don’t get it Lucy! For fuck’s sake, why do you have to be such a pedantic bitch?” His big hand grabbed her collar, making it tighten up significantly.

Lucy wasn’t scared, she told herself, because being scared of the person she hated the most was not only unbelievably embarrassing, but also just way below her standards. So she fiercely bit down on her lip, partly to make the tears stop flooding, partly to throw the fire dragon slayer off guard.

Natsu’s usually kind onyx eyes looked like angry storms, showing her the most spiteful stare she had gotten in a very long time.

“Maybe I’m a pedantic bitch because I’ve always had to balance out your disgusting childish personality all the fucking time. Do you have any idea of what a menace you are, not only to me or this guild, but to society?” She hissed, no longer holding back the anger she felt. Natsu, out of everyone, was the last person she wanted to hear those comments from, because frankly - he was no better than her in this matter.

Natsu pursed his lips. He had never seen Lucy this upset, and frankly, he hadn’t felt this upset since, well, Igneel left him in the woods as a kid. It had all started a few weeks ago, when he had been interviewed for a double paged article in Sorcerer's Weekly. He had gotten the usual questions, except two or three out of the ordinary. He was asked about random things, like his favourite restaurant and his best picnic spot - all manageable questions, until it came to the last one.

“Why did you leave the guild before it disbanded?” Jason asked, his lock of hair wiggling in the wind. Natsu of course answered with the usual - he wanted to get stronger for the guild after dealing with Igneel’s death. Only, this time he was asked a follow up question.

“Did you ever worry about anyone while you were away? Anyone particularly?”

“Well…” He had answered, “I suppose I was a bit worried about my team, but in general I was worried about everyone. I think out of all of the guildmates I might be the most fired up to protect everyone. There’s no telling what type of trouble could come to Fairy Tail you know.” That sentence wasn’t the problem though. It was the one that came after that. “I told Lucy to tell everyone hi as I left, but she probably didn’t manage to do that since she let the guild disband.” An innocent sentence according to Natsu. He had just commented on the letter he had given her, and provided a clue on what he had written in it - nothing more, nothing less, right?

The rest of the day was quite peaceful, not even any guild brawls starting up in the evening. It could probably be described as the calm before the storm, he learned the following day.

“You told him I let the guild disband!?” Lucy yelled as she entered the guild by slamming up the doors.

It was still quite early in the morning, though a lot of members came in early on Thursdays, hoping to grab quick high paying jobs before the weekend. Every step Lucy took was loud as she stomped to the bar where Natsu sat and the guild got quiet enough for anyone to hear a pin drop. Lucy waved the copy of the magazine in front of her before slamming it down in front of Natsu, disrupting his otherwise quite calm breakfast.

“That you were worried about the protection of the guild, when you ran off with nothing but a letter!?”

“What- what are you talking about?” Natsu asked, confused over the sudden accusation - coming from his best friend nonetheless!

“I’m talking about the interview from yesterday! What on earth made you say something like that?” Lucy took a small step back and crossed her arms. Partly to calm herself from the initial shock, but also partly to hide the betrayal she felt.

Telling Jason, and the entire continent for that matter, that Lucy didn’t succeed at contacting their friends in the guild because she let it disband? It felt like a shot in the heart, because she really didn’t think Natsu would ever say such a thing. She was afraid of it, but she told herself she was being paranoid due to her issues with abandonment. Now she was watching her biggest fears come true and she felt conflicted whether she was meant to be furious or depressed over it.

Natsu stood up from his seat and tried putting his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to soothe her. Not pleased with his half-assed apology, Lucy immediately shook him off.

“I don’t know what to say… I didn’t think he would write it down so literally I guess?”

He still didn’t understand where her anger was coming from. He had really just told Jason some things that he usually didn’t talk about—like his letter to Lucy and how he truly felt when he and Happy left to train. If anything he felt a bit proud for opening up more.

“But you’re admitting that you said it?” She opened the spread in the magazine, to properly quote him. “‘I think out of all of the guildmates I might be the most fired up to protect everyone,’ it says, and wait - there’s more: ‘I told Lucy to tell everyone hi as I left, but she probably didn’t manage to do that since she let the guild disband.’ Do you agree that that is what you said?” She looked into his eyes, still wishing Jason misinterpreted what he actually said, though now fretting to hear the truth.

“Well… yeah I guess I did say exactly that. I don’t know what you want me to say,” Natsu said, not understanding why Lucy was being so dramatic over some words.

He usually found her endearing when she acted dramatic over things but now he was growing annoyed. He really didn’t like that she was getting mad at him for telling his truth to Sorcerer’s Weekly.

Lucy fought her quivering lip. He really said it. And it looked like he really thought so too. That it was Lucy’s fault that the Fairy Tail guild disbanded—not that she was the cause of it, but that she didn’t do anything to stop it. Even if it was true–she didn’t know what to do at the time, knowing that Natsu and Happy left her with only a short, quite poorly written letter, still healing both physically and emotionally from the war against Tartaros. She felt sick to her stomach hearing it from him.

“I’d like an apology,” she said, her voice shaking slightly as she forced herself not to cry. “I want you to apologise for blaming me for a situation that you ran away from. Say that you’re sorry.” She said it louder this time. She refused to put up with his unfair claims, and she knew she deserved an apology.

“Okay. I’m sorry for telling Jason my true feelings, but that’s just how I feel. Sorry if you don’t think you’re not at least partially responsible for letting the guild disband. But you know that if I were there I would never have let that happen.”

Natsu knew he was pulling the wrong strings here, but even if he never said it, the knowledge that the disbandment could have—no, would have been stopped if he was there was enough to feel like the rest of the guild hadn’t tried hard enough themselves. Frankly, putting all of that blame on Lucy was unfair and untrue and Natsu knew it, but it was hard to take back printed words.

“Oh I know you wouldn’t let it happen, because Natsu Dragneel is soooo much better than everyone else here, right? No, fuck that Natsu. Because you. Weren’t. There. Alright?” Lucy clenched her teeth as she said it.

”You have no right telling us how little we tried to keep the guild together. You have no right to talk like you’re the only one who cares about what happens to this guild, because out of everyone, you’ve proven to care the least about the guild! What’s that about being the ‘most fired up about protecting everyone’ huh? How can you protect people if you’re. Not. There!” Lucy poked Natsu harshly in the chest as she said the last three words, feeling her cheeks heat up in a growing rage.

She hadn’t originally wanted to bring up this event. In fact, she had practically laid awake every single night during that disbanded year, telling herself to forgive and forget as soon as possible. Because she knew no one’s circumstance was easy to deal with and sometimes obeying master Makarov’s order was the only thing you could do in a crisis like that. She had really, really, wanted to leave all of this behind her.

“Do you know what I went through in that war? Do you? I lost my dad, Lucy. I had to see him get murdered by Acnologia. You might not have liked your father, but for the longest time you still had one—you just chose not to see him and for what? Some childish anger about him working too hard and ‘neglecting’ you? I would have switched places with you in an instant if it meant I got to know my father was alive and well.” His voice gradually rose as he spoke, and simultaneously a pit grew in his stomach.

He hated this. He knew very well he wouldn’t actually want to switch places with Lucy, because he knew their situations weren’t comparable, but the more he spoke the harder it was to back down from his words.

“Don’t claim you’d want to switch places with me Natsu Dragneel. Don’t you even dare. Your childhood was great thanks to Igneel and mine was horrible because of my father. I know you wanted to get stronger to beat Acnologia, I understand wholeheartedly. I can even say that it was completely reasonable for you to leave me—to leave all of us, but I can’t let you think that you were the only one who lost a dear family member.” Lucy had run out of breath, but was quick to catch it again.

“Wendy, Gajeel, Sting and Rogue all lost their dragons, their parents as well, you know. And I lost a family member, Natsu. What’s worse is that I had to break our bond, I broke Aquarius’ key. She’s the only thing my mom left me and I had to give her up to save all of you. I would do it all again in a heartbeat for all of you but I might never find her key again and I have to live with the knowledge that I’m the reason we can’t see each other.” Her tears were dangerously close to overflowing, but she held them back.

“So don’t use Igneel as a shield for your shitty actions, Natsu. No one would have stopped you from training here, hell, no one would have stopped you from running away if you only talked to me first! But you left a letter with only chicken scratch on it, and you didn’t even try to get in contact with me while you were gone.” Lucy felt herself yelling at this point. She had to, otherwise she would’ve stopped mid-sentence as she saw Natsu’s face change from stoic and indifferent—maybe a little upset—to hurt. But now the ball was in Natsu’s court.

“I wrote you a fucking letter Lucy,” he hissed through his teeth, “that’s more than I did to anyone else. What more do you want, huh? A tiara, a horse, a castle maybe? Why do you think you’re so entitled to everything?”

He was reaching now and he knew it. Her coming from a rich family had nothing to do with this argument, but he knew he couldn’t say anything else to answer her about Igneel and Aquarius. Because she was right. He just hated that she was. He hated it because she knew how to talk about her feelings, and he didn’t, which is why he spent that year trying to get ahold of himself. And he hated that she knew him so well, but that she couldn’t figure that small thing out. That he regretted leaving more than anything else, that he regretted the letter he gave her, that he regretted not reaching out. He was acting cowardly, and out of everyone in the guild, he really thought that Lucy would understand.

Lucy however was getting fed up with how he was making this argument more personal than it already was. What more did she want than a letter? She had already told him that she wanted signs that he had at least tried to reach out, to show her that he didn’t completely abandon her. Lucy was so unbelievably fed up with Natsu at this point. That stupid, idiot man! No words could describe the resentment she felt towards Natsu, not even coming from her, a proper writer.

“You just don’t get it Natsu! God, can you PLEASE try to use that non-existing brain for once!?” She yelled in despair, tears welling over in her eyes from the heartbreaking frustration building in her heart.

“No, I don’t get it Lucy! For fucks sake, why do you have to be such a pedantic bitch?” He couldn’t stand her vague hints at what she wanted him to say. Why couldn’t she understand that he wanted real answers to his questions, not insults to his mental capacity. His big hand grabbed her collar, making it tighten up significantly. Lucy wasn’t scared, she told herself, because being scared of the person she hated the most at the moment was not only unbelievably embarrassing, but also just way below her standards. So she fiercely bit down on her lip, partly to make the tears stop flooding, partly to throw the fire dragon slayer off guard.

Natsu’s usually kind onyx eyes looked like angry storms, showing her the most spiteful stare she had gotten in a very long time.

“Maybe I’m a pedantic bitch because I’ve always had to balance out your disgusting childish personality all the fucking time. Do you have any idea of what a menace you are, not only to me or this guild, but to society?” She hissed, no longer holding back the anger she felt. If he wanted to make this fight about things that didn’t relate to that article, then she wouldn’t hold back. Natsu, out of everyone, was the last person she wanted to hear those comments from.

“I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m a menace to society or whatever because at least I manage to protect society from whatever dangers they face! I’m the one who saved the entire continent from fucking Acnologia, and what did you do in the meantime, huh?” He sneered, lifting her higher in the collar. His fists were itching to… not hit her, but hit something. Gray would have been a good target, but the wall was closer – he made a mental note.

“Believe it or not mister main character syndrome, I was helping beating Acnologia. In real life, and not just in whatever weird imaginary place you ended up in.” She was really reaching again. “You, however, always think I’m just some weak loser who can’t hold her own ground! As if I don’t save your butt every single mission due to your stupid recklessness!” Lucy wasn’t backing down despite feeling Natsu’s scolding hot breath against her face. “And no, I don’t care about how you claim to always act on instinct to protect your family, because it’s proper bullshit! You don’t get to act all high and mighty and great for this guild because your indecisiveness and pure weakness made you leave this guild to rot for an entire year. If you’re going to become this guild’s self proclaimed protector, then you’ve got to be here to protect it.” Lucy pulled away from Natsu’s grip, forcing some space between them.

“No, Lucy, you have no right to say that to me. It’s thanks to me we’ve survived almost every single danger the guild has faced. It’s thanks to me the guild won the Grand Magic Games - or wait, no it wasn’t! Because back then I was saving your ass from getting killed! So sorry for saving you and successfully protecting you all this time. I knew you were whiny, but I didn’t know you resented me for fixing your life. I brought you to this guild, you should be thanking me, not yelling at me for having my own life aside from you.”

“Would you just shut up!” Lucy’s voice cracked, and she quickly resented herself for saying that. “If you regret bringing me here to this guild then maybe I should just leave? But just know that I never ever left this guild in the dust to run away with one of my best friends, leaving the other one behind to rot. I never ran away, despite not being able to speak to my father before he died, despite feeling weak. Because I know I am And I don’t need you to tell me. I’m weak, I’m weird and you think I’m a sensitive, whiny bitch, because no matter what great feats I make, I will always be that spineless girl according to the entire fucking continent.”

Natsu pursed his lips. He had never seen Lucy this upset, and frankly, he hadn’t felt this upset since Igneel left him in the woods as a kid. Hearing her say that she would leave really threw him back into reality though, her words feeling like a bucket of ice cold water getting thrown at him. What the fuck was he doing? Fighting her over something as small as not being able to honestly apologise about blaming her for not managing to hold the whole guild together by herself? An impossible feat, now that he thought about it, unless everyone in the guild had the same mindset.

“No. No, no, no, Lucy, let’s not do this,” he mouthed, relaxing his fists and softening his face. “You’re not weak, or weird, or a sensitive spineless girl.”

As their yelling match quieted down they both became aware of their surroundings again. No one had said a single word while they had been throwing insults at each other, and Lucy became uncomfortably aware of how she basically outed all of her insecurities in the heat of it all. No longer feeling the fighting spirit to keep the tears abay, she let them blur her vision. Fighting with her best friend was draining, and she never ever wanted to do it again.

“You’re the person I hate the least in, like, the whole world, please don’t say you’ll leave.” He almost whispered this sentence, not wanting everyone to listen in to their private conversation, but getting the opposite effect as he heard Gajeel whisper to Levy what he had said. If anything, talking quieter made the guild listen even more attentively.

Lucy once again felt her throat thicken up, but this time from regret for fighting and not in anger, as earlier.

“Of course I won’t leave. I would never do that. It’s just…” She sniffled, “I know you probably didn’t mean to hurt my feelings during that interview, you didn’t know that I already blame myself for letting the guild disband, and for not trying harder to keep in contact with everyone. How could you know, I never told you. It just got extra hurtful to hear that you felt the same way. It’s like having one of your biggest fears come true and I just got so… sad… that I got angry instead.”

Natsu could see that she was gathering courage to apologise, which truthfully broke his heart even more than it already had today.

“But I don’t think you’re to blame, I honestly don’t even know what got into me, Lucy. If anything I know that you kept tabs on everyone behind the scenes because rather than ripping up healing scars, you wanted to make sure everyone was safe, wherever they were. I’ve never told you how relieved I was when I saw that we didn’t have to start from scratch to find everyone, all thanks to the fact that you dedicated yourself to getting a job that would give you the information necessary. You’re amazing for everything you’ve done, and if anything, I’m the one who needs to realise that I’m the weak one. I shouldn’t have left everyone like that. It wasn’t fair, and it isn’t an excuse but I was sad and, well… scared.”

This time it was Lucy’s turn to interrupt Natsu.

“You’re not weak for doing what you thought would keep your loved ones safe, Natsu. I know you didn’t abandon me, you really were trying to protect us all, in your way. Though, it would be nice if you knew that we’re here for you too. We want to protect you and the guild as well. I want to protect you.”

“I’m still sorry for leaving. And I’m sorry for not thinking before I talk, I never wanted to make you feel that way. I was being really stupid. Can you forgive me?”

The air was thick between them, mixed with remnants of hurtful words and regret. A few whispers from the rest of the guild made it even more obvious that the current situation was wrong - Natsu and Lucy couldn’t fight. They were best friends, an inseparable duo. It was all so wrong. Lucy’s sobs broke the silence.

“Of course I can forgive you.” A huff or relief mixed with a sob made its way out, almost sounding like laughter. Natsu felt the corners of his mouth pull up slightly, the weight on his shoulders lifting simultaneously. Carefully he took a step closer to her, pulling her into an embrace. Lucy’s relieved sobs made her shake against his chest as she allowed herself to fall into the hug. “If anything,” she breathed, “can you forgive me? You’re not a menace to society, nor exhausting to be with. I’m sorry for yelling at you.” As her voice broke into falsetto, mixing with previous sobs, Natsu managed to laugh lightly.

“Well you were right about the destructive part,” he laughed, tightening his grip around her shivering shoulders. “There’s really no need for you to apologise, but I’ll forgive you if it helps you to forgive yourself.”

Happy gave out a loud cry from beside them.

“I’m sorry Lucy..!” He wailed, throwing himself into their arms. “I didn’t know you’d be so sad about us leaving..!” Seeing Happy cry made Lucy cry even more.

“Of course I’d be sad if my best friends left me,” she managed to say, “I felt so lonely… You guys are everything to me, it was so weird to live without you.”

Happy’s cry was almost deafening at this point, as the only thing muffling the sound was Lucy’s chest and his occasional mumbling about loving her and apologising. The guild kept quiet, no one knowing how to react to the situation. The topic of the disbandment of the guild was rarely spoken of, often due, but not limited to, people silently judging themselves and others for allowing it to even happen in the first place. Cana could lie awake some nights in shame of how she had been drinking away reality when it happened, Elfman took more single missions than ever before, spending them wondering if he hadn’t made the guild blow up, would Makarov never have disbanded Fairy Tail? Some people were firm believers that they’d step up to keep the guild together, if someone had initiated it at first that was. Everyone had their own discomfort around the subject, yet very few had actually spoken about it out loud. Watching the guild’s sun and star fight over the delicate matter had brought feelings they hadn’t felt in a long time, so when Erza spoke up everyone held their breaths.

“I think we all have our uncomfortable memories connected to that year. I can admit, with full transparency, that I also have had some sleepless nights over this topic. But I can assure you both that no one blames either of you, in any way. It’s true that Natsu takes the job of protecting the guild in the highest regard of seriousness, and it’s also true that Lucy does too. To be frank, often I wonder if I could have prevented everything had I been more perceptive. But I’ve never blamed either of you.” Erza’s tone was soft, despite her words being stale and clearly rehearsed in her head. Her own confession made a myriad of other people speak up as well.

“Yeah, we never blamed you two. You’re the ones that brought us together again!” The guild stirred, people talking over each other to get their two cents on the topic. After all, the disbandment was a dam waiting to burst – Natsu and Lucy had just accidentally pulled the plug.

“Well…” the coarse voice that spoke up made the guild quiet down again. Makarov had made an appearance, and Natsu and Lucy, who were already ashamed for having their affairs sorted out in front of their guild mates, got even more embarrassed knowing that he had heard it all. “I must say that I’m surprised, and actually offended, that no one has put the blame on me. You can deny it all you want, but at the end of the day it was me, not any of you, that uttered the words that caused the disbandment. It was never my intention for you to get mad at yourselves or each other.”

Glances were passed around in the guild. Between people who had fought over this topic, and between people who had plotted against other groups.

“I won’t say sorry though.” Makarov gave the crowd a stern look. “I did what I thought was the best thing to do at the time. And you can try to prove me wrong, but everyone here grew during that year. You took your own paths, and experienced new ways of living. I’m sorry for the aftermath of disbanding the guild, but I’m not sorry for doing it.”

When Makarov finished his sentences, the guild let out a collective sigh. Some got annoyed with Makarov’s demeanour – hadn’t he listened to Natsu and Lucy, and heard how harmful the event had been for their relationship? Others sighed in relief, nodding along with his words. He had a point after all, and like it or not, the guild had absolutely gotten stronger after their time apart. Someone mentioned the saying that “distance makes the heart fonder” and another guy pushed him for being corny.

Soon enough the argument between Natsu and Lucy had sizzled out. For everyone besides them, that is. Except, they both felt like there were things to deal with still. There were no more hard feelings between them, their troubles had been aired out and felt small now that they weren’t topics to carefully tread around anymore. Still, they hadn't come to a conclusion. They wanted to talk.

“Do… Do you want to go to my place?” Lucy asked, now that no one paid them attention.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

They knew they didn’t have any eyes on them, but they decided to sneak out the back way anyway. It didn’t feel right to walk out through the big doors that made a big thunk when it closed behind them. Not today. They were still worn thin from the screaming battle – a loud sound might break them from shockwaves only.

The walk home was naturally quiet. They had taken this route home many times before, but back then the silence didn’t feel so empty. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t emotionally thick. There weren’t any unsaid words, unsaid sentences hanging in the air, clinging to their brains like velcro. Today, everything had been said. There were no more elephants to avoid talking about. Except maybe one.

Lucy was the first to enter the apartment. She took her time untying her shoes and hanging up her jacket. They had gone here to talk, though how, she had no idea. How was she supposed to say anything when the same mouth had heckled him only an hour earlier? Natsu, who also took his time with his sandals, almost moving unnaturally slowly to get those extra seconds to prepare himself, wondered the same thing. He started formulating sentences in his mind, trying to come up with something to say that wasn’t going to ruin them, but before he could put any of them to the test, Lucy spoke.

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Both Lucy herself and Natsu gave her a mental pat on the shoulder. Harmless words. A good sentence even – Natsu would give it first place in the world if he could.

“Yeah, sounds good.” Another successful sentence. Maybe they actually would be able to solve all this.

After Lucy put on the kettle, they both sat down on the couch beside each other. She was first to speak again.

“Natsu, I really am sorry for everything I said.” Natsu tried to stop her there to insert his own apology, but Lucy spoke up louder. “I really said so many things that I didn’t mean, and I’m ashamed I even started the whole argument. It was really immature of me, and I…”

Lucy looked up at Natsu, water was once again pressing in her tear ducts, though this time in regret.

“I just really really love this guild. I don’t know where I would be without it. You seriously saved me that day in Hargeon, in more ways than one. I’m so thankful, I’m sorry for not telling you that more often. Thank you.”

Natsu stared intensely into Lucy’s eyes, wishing his gaze could speak for him, but ultimately deciding to answer.

“I don’t think you understand Lucy, I should thank you. And most of all, It’s me who should apologise. Hadn’t you been in my life I’d still be walking around with a stick up my bum, you’ve changed my perspective on life. We’ve gone through Hell and back together, but I never even once considered you part of that Hell. I’m sorry for being a jerk today.” Natsu didn’t notice until now that he had softly grabbed Lucy’s hand while speaking. He was beyond relieved that she didn’t pull back.

Lucy let out a light sob. She was crying in relief – the reassurance that he didn’t despise her.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Natsu. You-” she dried some of her tears with the palm of her hand, “you’re my entire world.”

“And you’re mine.” Natsu was quick to answer her, and faster to bring their faces closer. He felt this urge to hug her, keep her tight and not let go for anything in the world, but at the same time he wanted to see her. See her eyes that were still crying, feel her face against his own. So he brought their foreheads together and just breathed with her. Lucy’s breaths were still shallow and shaky, but it felt right to have her skin touching his, breathing in her air.

Then Lucy closed the distance completely. She carefully locked her lips together with his, not being forceful in any way. But they knew that this was the sensation they had been searching for. A complete closeness, mouth to mouth, an action so intimate it felt like they were sharing souls. And right now, they might as well have done exactly that. All their troubles had been shared, all their uglies and all their pretties, and this final action signed a contract. That they’ll keep mentioning anything on their minds, that they’ll say everything they like and dislike about each other. Most importantly what they love about each other. In this short moment of telepathy, they already knew the subject of their love – them.

***

Notes: Oops. At least I ended it with a kiss? I can't lie, this was hard to write and even harder to post (I can't figure out the Rich Text function on Ao3 at all, but I needed italics for the fic on ao3! Sorry tumblr-readers, you’re missing out🫣)

I honestly didn't expect it to get so long, most of the fics I write that are over 4k words are mostly just wordy for no reason, lol. But this fic had some drama! My teachers would be proud, dramatic curves are important but I Suck At Them.

Thank you for reading all this! And pls don't hate me for writing other emotions than love and grief, I'll most definitely get back with a trillion of those kinds of fics soon (I prefer writing those fics hehe). XX

[azrielwingspan]

DISTRACTIONS (AZRIEL X OC)-PART 3

Distractions is a collection of short stories whose main characters are Azriel and Nyra (OC).

It's established that there is some heavy tension between them (everyone suspects lol) and I decided to put into words a few visualizations I've had of the both of them just pining for each other, playing hard to get, flirting, a bit of angst, maybe smut, some fluff and overall just being HELLA CUTE OKAY.

Part 3 of the collections of short stories!! No specific reading order to be followed.

PART 1 / PART 2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary : Nyra and Azriel finally meet after a month. What starts off as a pleasant conversation branches out into something more. Warnings: Angst , mild swearing, bit of smut (i think?) .

Enjoy !

Nyra was fed up. Everything, everywhere all at once was going wrong. For the past few days, all she had done was wake up, fix shit and have a fitful sleep.

She came back home to Vallahan a month ago and had been served bad news on a silver platter. The nobles were planning an intervention to add a new clause to the tax benefit laws. This wasn't something new that had to be tackled but it had never been held over the courts head before. If this wasn't handled delicately and shut down definitively, the court would have a civil war on their hands.

"I will say this once and only once." she stared down the Lord of Fendale, her face a carefully crafted mask that betrayed no hint of emotion. "The laws exist for a reason---" she raised a hand as she noticed the Lord open his mouth to interrupt her. "NOT for you to change them as per your personal interests. So if you have any legitimate reason for your proposal my lord, you will present it to the ENTIRE court. I will not be tolerating anymore personal visits."

She motioned towards the door not giving him a chance to speak up. She had had enough of this idiocy for a lifetime. The Lord fortunately took the hint and left the room slamming the door behind him. That fucking cun---.

"Another visitor for you my Lady."

"If I see one more noble parading in here like they own the damn place, I will stab them with my pencil. Let them know beforehand. Would serve as a fair warning don't you think?"

"Fair enough." a dark and smooth voice responded. The scent of night chilled mist and cedar hit her bringing a smile to her face.

"That applies to you as well, Shadowsinger."

"I am not a noble." the sound of boots tapping across the wooden floor came closer , the male now in front of her casting a shadow across the reports she was trying to read.

"You did walk in here like you own the damn place." The words in front of her might as well have been an entirely new language. Her brain refused to acknowledge anything else when he was nearby.

"Was I meant to take an appointment?" a teasing tone laced into his voice.

"Would've been suitable."

"And here I was thinking you would always make time for me. It's not reciprocated I see."

Scarred hands placed onto the table entered her field of vision and she finally looked up meeting his gaze.

After an entire month of restlessness , irritation and exhaustion, something in Nyra finally settled. It felt like walking into an open field, taking in a huge gulp of fresh air and feeling the heaviness leave your body only to be replaced by a pleasant humming sensation.

"Hello, Az."

"Hello, Nyra." a delightful grin graced his face.

The greeting alone seemed to charge the air around them. The memory of him kissing her neck sprung into her head and she pushed it out immediately. Now was not the time.

She had thought of that moment every day since. The feel of his lips brushing against the skin of her throat, the shared breaths, the heat of his skin beneath her fingers. Most of all, she remembered the dismissal at the end of it all. It managed to break her out of her day dreams every single time. It wasn't meant to happen. What was she thinking?

Something on her face must have betrayed her emotions because Azriel's smile dimmed as he watched her. The memory seemed to clutch him in its grasp as well , making him step away from the table. The heaviness slammed back into Nyra with full force.

Well there goes my moment of peace.

Clearing his throat, Azriel pulled something out of the shadows surrounding him. "Rhys asked me to pass this onto you. I managed to find some...information regarding the Lord of Fendale that might be of benefit to you."

"Oh."

Stupid, stupid girl.

Of course he was here on official business. She had duped herself into thinking he was there for her.

When will you learn?

"Right." She read through the report Azriel had written all the while trying to shove her disappointment into a dark recess of her mind.

"This is.....excellent." The information in the report could be used against the Lord and make him rein in the other lords who had fallen out of line.

"Azriel...thankyou. This might solve the problem once and for all."

He bowed his head and gave her a small smile.

"I hoped it would. He's a viper Nyra. Be careful."

"I will."

They settled into awkward silence for a few beats. She hated it. This feeling of walking around eggshells around him, the way they were pretending that nothing ever happened between them. She didn't know how to fix it and she hated herself more for it.

"What is this?" Azriel had moved towards a table littered with official and personal letters. He was clutching one of them in a white knuckled grip, his eyes flying across the page over and over again.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIIIIT.

She knew exactly which one of the dozens of letters he was clutching. She had planned on burning it that morning but clearly had forgotten.

"Az..."

"What. Is. This. Nyra?" he growled, his voice like subdued thunder.

He had gone still. Oh so still, she wondered if he was even breathing.

His eyes were still glued to the letter and she wondered how the page hadn't caught fire from the look he was shooting it.

"It's nothing important. I was supposed to burn it today." she tried to placate him, standing up from her seat and making her way towards him.

"Nothing important?" he turned to look at her and she almost stumbled at the darkness in his eyes. Hot burning anger that raged like a fire, she could deal with. However, Azriel's anger was like cold death. It was honed and sharpened to strike it's opponent when the time came.

She wasn't scared of him.

Never.

She was scared for him.

"Yes nothing." she kept her tone unbothered , tinging it with a hint of annoyance. It wasn't hard really. She was annoyed that he had found it fit to just go through her letters.

"It would be of utmost honor if you were to wed my son---"

"I know what it says, Azriel. I can read." She could feel her anger rising to the surface preparing to clash with his.

"Did you respond?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"What did---"

"It's official court business."

He scoffed.

He fucking scoffed.

It was enough for her anger take over and make her see red.

"Put the letter down Azriel. You have no right to read those. Oh and next time make a damn appointment. I don't have time to deal with your fucking tantrums."

"Tantrums? You think me reacting to a marriage proposal is a ...tantrum?" his voice had gotten deadly quiet.

"Yes." she hissed through her clenched teeth. "What I do or don't do with my personal life is none of your concern. If I want to marry a Lord's son, I damn well will and YOU are not obligated to know about it."

"Say that again, Nyra. Say that again but be truthful to yourself this time." the intensity with which he was looking at her hadn't subdued. If anything it seemed like he was taunting her.

She stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand and grabbing the letter out of his.

"I..." she started tearing the letter into pieces.

"do not..." she crumpled the pieces in her hands, a few of them fluttering to the ground.

"answer to you." she tossed the remaining pieces onto the table, her hands shaking from the adrenaline rushing through her.

"No. No you don't." he stepped closer to her , towering over her as their gazes clashed. Cold death and a simmering volcano.

"But I do know one thing with absolute certainty. You know what it is?"

She kept silent and refused to look away.

He took another step and let his scent envelop her completely. His shadows were dancing around them, seemingly out of control. They had carved out a dark secluded spot in the bright confines of her office, trapping the both of them in a whirlwind of their emotions.

"You can do whatever or whoever you want Nyra. At the end of the day, it'll always be you and me. Remember that."

Her breath was knocked out of her, the anger being flushed out of her body in an instant. A whole new set of emotions that she had carefully locked away poured into her, leaving her dizzy.

She didn't know who moved first. It didn't matter. Because the next thing she knew, they were a clash of lips and tongue , desperate to get closer and feel everything.

She ran her hands up his shoulders and reveled in the feel of it. How she imagined doing this over and over again every single night. His hands were cupping her face , angling it towards him as he kissed her like it was the first and last time.

He turned them around and placed her on the table, all the while kissing her. Her dress had bunched up to her thighs and Azriel ran his hands over her body as if trying to memorize the feel of every inch.

She ran her hands through his hair, the burn in her core flaring with every second that passed.

"Az." she let out a whimper as he trailed a line of kisses down her neck and chest. Tugging at the collar of his shirt, she brought his lips back to hers, wrapping her legs around his hips to bring him closer.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this." he whispered hoarsely against her lips, taking her lower lip in between his teeth and biting down gently.

A new wave of lust shot through her and Azriel's gaze turned ravenous as he noticed her reddened cheeks and glazed eyes.

"I refused." she said ghosting his lips as she craned her neck to place a soft kiss on his pulse. "There is no one else I would say yes to, Az." she clutched his shirt tighter pressing herself against him. Her breasts brushed over his chest, her nipples turning to peaks. She did it again, chasing the feeling.

He let out a groan that made her clench her thighs around his hips.

"You don't know what you do to me , Nyra."

She bit down on his neck, making him hiss and lace his fingers through her hair.

"The things I want to do to you ...fuck. Not here though. I want to take my time." his breathy voice was doing things to her brain that she could not comprehend. She didn't want to. She wanted to be at the mercy of the moment.

His hand brushed the underside of her breast and she let out an embarrassingly loud moan that had him pulling her head back and latching onto her lips.

As suddenly as it started, it ended.

Azriel pulled back abruptly, blocking her from view as he turned to face the door.

"Lady Ny..." her attendee walked in , stopping dead in her tracks when she noticed Azriel. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you had company." Her face turned tomato red.

Nyra cleared her throat and spoke as though she hadn't been close to being bent over the table. "Anything urgent?"

"Uh..y-yes my Lady. The nobles have called an emergency council meeting."

Azriel exhaled through his nose in exasperation. Nyra wanted to kill someone.

"Wonderful. I'll be there soon. Thankyou, Elle."

She would be needing that pencil after all.