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lost-on-kamino · 3 years ago

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Records

Changing the Disk

A brief interlude before we continue our scheduled playlist

(It’s been a while! But i finally picked up speed again for this part of Rhythm’s story, though it’s now a look over the other side of things... Please don’t hate me, Eps is already hunting me-) Small Cameos by: Remedy ( @kkrazy256) Twitch ( @gaeasun) , Sponge and Olly (@mwolf0epsilon)

The wind was calmer today, Pitch found as he peered from the building. He scratched his beard as he looked back to the sleeping brothers and sisters and siblings, recovering from their time in the front.

Granted he had been requested to stay with Coric as Kix and Twitch went off following the ‘Chosen One’.

Sure, Pitch trusted the man; but he often found Slick’s words rotating. He hadn’t been deployed for Christophis… But he heard the stories.

It had left him a lot of time to think when he was on watch as Coric caught up on some much needed sleep. The older Medic had decided to keep watch over him which was its own blessing in disguise… as much as he did annoy his ori’vod from his habit of bringing food into the Medbay.

You named it; Berries, cookies, fruit, chips, lollies; Pitch had brought it in to help his family feel more at ease. It was a quirk he called it… from past experiences of- Actually he didn’t want to think about it… He just always had food around, just in case. Always on hand.

He rubbed his face, likely smudging it with dirt as he kept his focus and leaned back on his perch. Pitch kept a silent watch, a soft smile on his face.

He could hear the distant roar of blasters and cannons in the trees and hoped they’d have time to evacuate if it came to it. Though he wondered how his brother lost on Coruscant was… Pitch only heard the news from the newly formed ARF Trooper, Bumblebee who had transferred from the 212th… Pitch had gotten to be good friends with him before his incident on Coruscant; which he then transferred to to keep with the Medic who was monitoring him.

Pitch shared it with his older siblings. Beat had cursed and remained off line, likely blowing steam over not being able to keep her promise while Tacet remained levelled headed and kept mediating between their siblings.

He felt a hand brush his hair and a whisper.

“He’s home.”

Pitch turned to his right, spotting no one as he narrowed his eyes. But the tone and… that feeling… That felt like Chord. Rhythm’s twin would always brush his hair and even joked about the former pilot to change his hair style. Pitch relaxed into his seat, Coric walking over and offering a canteen as Sponge joined them.

He had a feeling… It was ok.

Beat was keeping up with the other members of the Wolfpack. Though she could tell they were watching her, after her outburst in the training room. Fight after fight, keeping her head down. Any clone that offered to spar would be pummelled until Commander Wolffe got hold of her. It was not until after General Plo had offered to duel her and destroyed her that she admitted the words that prayed on her mind.

My Vod is missing.

Until then, nothing had really changed, but she could tell Boost and Sinker would join her in morning sprints as they made their way towards another relief mission. Comet sat with her during lunch and talked to her, Warthog would ask for her help looking over the ships and Wildfire kept her busy with inventory. They were all keeping her busy and away from a path of self destruction.

What had meant to most was when Wolffe sat down with her and asked why she felt so strongly that it was her fault. That was when she told him about Chord.

That it was her push and plan that caused the explosives to rattle the citadel challenge, Chord was the medic and rushed to save Rhythm, his twin and was bludgeoned to death.

She was the eldest. She needed to watch her siblings and protect them, that was her promise to Chord. And Chord helped her work out who she was. Wolffe had simply listened and thanked her for letting him learn about Chord. That Chord would be proud of her growth and he wouldn’t blame her as they were all following orders… and sometimes, it doesn’t go all to plan.

You lose everything and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

You watch as everyone dies around you yet continue to live when the Captain should have gone down with the ship.

You can only watch as your remaining brothers fight with your general and you can only hope whatever force is out there. The one who could barely breathe as the Escape pod came close to releasing the precious air as you called for help, locating the one person who was close to your battalion as a sister.

Then the wait as you and your remaining two brothers recover, hoping for the news of sweet revenge as the wolf’s fangs to kill off the one who had taken so much from you.

Beat could listen in quiet horror, realising she could relate to her commander more than she knew. That was the day she swore her loyalty to the pack. It was when Beat had returned to training; slow punches as Sinker cheered her on; she felt a tremor.

A distant humming on the breeze.

A song that she and Chord would hum, copied from their trainers, to ease their brothers.

He’s home.

His voice sung softly as Beat stumbled in her next punch and fell to the floor, catching herself as Sinker knelt by her. She sobs, tucking herself in as the Wolfpack surrounds her. Wolffe walks in and knows as Warthog dashes in like a hot landing, holding a chat message likely from his Batchmate, Hound.

It will be okay.

Tacet found themselves watching as the transport ship took them back to the Negotiator. The ARF Trooper sinking slightly in which knowing he had done his darn hardest to look for his batchmate. As the second eldest… it was his duty.

They heard their name as Boil waved and they quickly clipped their helmet to sign back ‘Hello’, waving their hand.

“Any luck?” Boil questioned as they walked towards their stations. Tacet shook their head.

They held their hands to their chest and shook them, mouthing the word.

‘Nothing’

Boil pulled Tacet close.

“They’ll find something.” He reassured as Waxer soon joined them and the three slowly chatted quietly among themselves. They had worked out what Tacet had been doing when he quietly returned to the barracks late in the Coruscant night and they had also kept an eye out for Tacet’s vod’ika.

The ARF Trooper stretched from his position at the desk, looking over the channels for distress calls, Boil and Waxer within his group before the big jump to their next battlefield. The thing is with Tacet, would be that the thoughts would linger in his mind, circling.

Was there more they could have done? Did they search hard enough for Rhythm? And those thoughts would remain until he knew about his Vod’s whereabouts. He sunk slightly, a nudge from Waxer and an soft smile pressed him on. Boil looked over and muttered about getting Caf for the three, moving off as Tacet paused at a message that flicked on his comm channel.

Olly.

Waxer saw Tacet frozen and peered over. It had been sent about 10 minutes ago and Tacet was hovering over the channel. But it wasn’t the fear of checking. A soft murmur had rattled his mind.

You know its good news, Tacet.

“Easy, Vod.” Waxer smiled, taking the place of Chord as Tacet flinched and looked over, rapidly apologising. Waxer took the lead and pressed the channel.

When Boil returned, the sight of Tacet leaning into Waxer’s arms, face hidden and arms trembling; he knew Rhythm would be alright.

It was perfectly okay.

Rhythm curled up in his covers, head down as he prepared himself for another day.

Tomorrow he’d catch up with Lenta and the kids, something he looked forward to as he needed to return Vite’s Massif plush. Remedy had cleared him finally to start heading out again after his leg was fixed up despite the scarring around the knee and shin.

He smiled to himself.

Everything should be back to normal again, he can return calls and catch people out in their language… He would patrol with Bumblebee and Bulkhead to get used to stretching his leg in armor…

Everything was good.

…

Blank eyes shot open late at night. The buzzing of the room and soft snores of the other guardsmen hummed in the air as CT-2895 prepared and suited himself up.

He paused when he saw the Riot Trooper shift in his bed, turning to walk off.

He froze again when he stepped on something. Looking down at what appeared to be a stuffed Massif, he stared blankly before pressing down more and walked off into the night, helmet on tight.

After all, Good soldiers follow orders.

#star wars #the clone wars #tcw #coruscant guard #clone oc #communications corrie rhythm #clone medic pitch #arf trooper tacet #arc trooper beat #riot trooper olly olly oxenfree #clone medic sponge #clone medic twitch #basically many clones help #mostly background #the records collection #there is no clonecest this is all platonic i swear if anyone comes in and says i will stab #rogue writings

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

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Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 6

a/n: DKFJSLDKFSJ OMG YOU GUYS IVE LTR BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG AACCKKK!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also, omg im screeching bc BAHAHAHA THERE IS GOING TO BE A SLIGHT PLOT TWIST YOU GUYS!!!!!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- Ever since yn got lost during a trip to another school, the team made the rule that she has to hold one of their hands. Its probably so small compared against the boys. She got lost cause babie saw a cat

SKDLFJLSDKFJ EWWWWWWWW IM SCREECHING IN DISGUST RIGHT NOW LIKE THATS SO DIS COS TANG OIKAWA TOORU LIKE LEAVE MY GUY ALONE!!!!!!! #LETMAKKILIVE

lmao yep this is really happening

okay so anyways

you guys know how seijoh is like known around the prefecture right?

and we all know that nekomata and old ukai are like besties so they were talking over the phone right

and nekomata was complaining that his players were already fed up with playing against the same people and they wanted to be challenged and wanted new exposure to other players and all that jazz

old ukai was cackling at the other side bc haha youre actually begging me to find you new teams now?

but anyways

theyre like besties forever so ofc old ukai would help

and by help, he turned to poor zaddy keishin and told him to look for teams that could be sent up to tokyo and play against nekoma

‘what?! im already busy and i dont have time to scout-’

‘YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE BOY! I CREATED YOUR FATHER AND WITHOUT HIM, YOU WOULDNT BE HERE TODAY!’

‘BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I WANTED TO BE ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!’

family goals 😍😍😍

but keishin still listened to his grandfather and recommended seijoh as being the one to go as they are one of the hardest to beat opponents in the preferecture

but its more like he wants to hear about nekoma being destroyed by oikawa’s service aces and grovel at their feet since naoi always made fun of them saying country boys arent as good as city boys

LIKE PLEASE

anyways!!!!!!

nekomata got word of it and immediately phoned aoba johsai and talked to the coach

‘yes, i heard from an old friend of mine that you are quite strong’

nekomata praised, wanting and desperate to have them come up

‘and do you think your team is good enough to beat us?’

LMAO YESSSS GRANDPA IRIHATA!!! DRAG THEM KITTIES!!!!

WAIT NO THAT SOUNDS WRONG

but they settled on their disagreements and decided yep they were going to go up there and have a practice match

however

irihata and nekomata wanted their boys to be kept in the dark about who this team is as knowing them, they have sources to find them tapes of old plays

they wanted it to be a fair match

even the managers were being kept from it as they could easily be influenced by the players for that information

irihata walked into the gym and announced a team meeting to which they stopped

you sat down next to kyotani, who pulled you beside him and wrapped a protective arm around your waist

‘we have a practice match against a prominent team up in tokyo in 3 days. make sure you have your plays right and pat down as they are known to be quite an opponent’

the boys shouted a determined cheer and they all hussled back to practice

you were running around, tending to everyone with towels or medical tape

once you finally sat back down on the bench, you noticed your phone screen light up, indicating someone sent you a message

it was natsu

you swiped open and smiled softly at his picture

it a selfie of him in front of his school as you told him to send you a picture that he arrived safely

‘got here in one piece since im not ready to meet daddy satan yet’

i hate him you guys

after receiving news of his mother gaining custody of him, he cheered and was able to go back to tokyo without his father in the picture

lets just say,,, hes not nice

anyways

you were sad to let him go but you understood he missed his friends and his almost-boyfriend so you were able to say goodbye easily at the station

‘gross but im pretty sure katsuki would blow satan to smithereens’

‘hehe ;) he would’

‘N A S T Y’

you cringed but giggled and the team noticed so they tried hard to gain your attention back on them

‘aaa!!!!! y/n-chan!!! my leg!!!!’

‘i think i chopped off my finger!!!!’

‘my head snapped off my body!!!!!’

you rolled your eyes and placed your phone down before walking over to mattsun to help him snap his head back on his neck

finally, it was the day of the match

you were arranged to stay the night at tokyo to have a few practice matches with this unknown team

the team was arranged to meet at the train station at 9:45 since the train leaves at 10

you arrived the earliest to keep track of everyone and just because you were actually kinda excited

theres this weird feeling in your stomach that isn’t exactly bad but its,,, giddy

you sat on the bench, waiting for the team

they all started arriving one by one and you were doing a headcount for everyone but you were missing one

you checked your phone and you noticed he was getting late

it was already 9:54

you hate it when people are late to meeting time so you were slightly irritated

you dialed up your captain’s number and you stood up, pacing around

‘hello~~~~ y/n-cha-’

‘oikawa-san! do you know what time it is?! you were arranged to come here at specifically 9:45 but its 14 minutes passed that so where the hell are you? you better have a good excuse you piece of-’

‘aww y/n-chan oikawa-san is sorry’

someone whispered in your ear from behind and you flinched, surprised at the sudden person

oikawa wrapped an arm around your waist while his other hung up the call and you turned around, arms crossed while pouting at him

‘sorrysorrysorry!’

he apologized and you rolled your eyes

‘i swear, oikawa-san. if i find out it was because of your hair again-’

‘oi shittykawa! your sister just called me and you left the curling iron on, you stupid bastard!’

iwaizumi’s shout made oikawa sweat and pale

your eyes glinted dangerously

‘this is the last straw, oikawa-san’

you growled and he shot down to his knees and was about to start praying to you when the coach decided he had enough entertainment for the day and called everyone to gather around

‘heres your tickets. this train will get us there around lunch time so dont worry about getting hungry’

the shinkansen train had 2-person seating so everyone fought secretly amongst each other to sit next to you

literally, their private group chat was blowing up until early this morning at the shouts and yells of everyone caps locking their arguments as to why they deserve to sit next to you

the only one who didnt was mattsukawa issei

bc quite frankly, he didnt care who he sat next to and although it sounds nice to be next to you, he isnt exactly the comfiest to sleep on due to the obvious size difference

lmao like your head probably wouldnt reach his shoulders bruh

now youre not oblivious

or blind

so you noticed the glares of everyone as you all stood for the train to come

and you also noticed mattsun just standing there, bored, so you sneaked over to him, wrapping your arms around him

‘arent you excited, mattsun-san?’

he gasped quietly at your sudden appearance but he smirked

‘its nothing special. just another team that we’re going to beat’

you giggled at his confidence and you walked in front of him so you could properly be held by him

it was practically second nature now by the way he just opened his arms and you crashed into them, his own wrapping around your shoulders to hold you tight

‘i love your confidence so much mattsun-san’

he flushed red and furrowed his eyebrows, head turning to the side to hide the obvious effect you had on him

‘whats the point of playing when you cant be confident’

‘aaaa why are you looking away mattsun-san!!!’

lmao when the team saw you sitting next to mattsun, they all felt so betrayed like bruh

ltr kyo and iwa were about to go feral

oikawa was like ready to screech his ass off but one look from you made him shut up

‘i sincerely, really, truly hope youre just complaining about the seat hurting your flat ass, oikawa-san’

KDFJLSDKFJSDL Y/N NO STOP IT

it was kinda funny actually bc everyone was all pouting and sulky while you just have mattsun who’s smirking like ‘beat that’

SDKFJLSDKF I LOVE MATTSUN’S SMIRK LIKE PLEASE OMG

ofc he let you sit at the window bc you love window seats

like iwa, he also pulls up the arm barrier thingy and you shuffle closer to him and mattsun practically combusts

the ride isnt expected to be very long but you still found yourself sleeping during it

mattsun has his arm around your shoulder while your head is leaning against his peck man boobie

omg its so cute like he actually slides lower on the seat to help you reach his shoulder and hes slouching and back is hurting just for you

;’)

he was awake the whole time bc he couldnt sleep with his heart beating so hard it might rip out of his chest

ew thats kinda gorey

your hand was gripping his own and to pass time, he found himself fiddling with your fingers

an unknown smile appeared on his face at the obvious size difference between yours and his

a finger traced different and foreign shapes just to feel the softness of your hand and he combusts again when you unconsciously squeeze his hand

mattsun couldnt help but bring your linked hands up and kiss the back of yours

it was soft, gentle, and his lips lingered there for more than a second

then a sudden feeling of fatigue washed over him and he leaned his cheek against the top of your head

the last thing he remembers is the smell of your f/s (favorite smell) shampoo

then you guys arrived in tokyo

irihata had to personally wake you all up because even naoi fell asleep and everyone fell asleep

irihata gently shook mattsun awake and when the boy opened his eyes, the older man nodded over to your form

‘gently wake her up’

as if mattsun didnt already know

thats why he softly ran the pad of his thumb on your cheek that was exposed to the air

‘y/n~~’

he coos and your nose twitches, in between the border of dreams and reality

‘darling, wake up, baby bear’

FSDKLFJSDLKSDJKFJDSKLFJSDLFKSJDLF YOU GUYS I CANNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also im listening to kataomoi by aimer so that kinda influences the ‘darling

his deep voice that surprisingly reaches a level of quietness made your eyes flutter

your whole face scrunched at suddenly being woken up but the sight of mattsun’s genuine smile made you mirror it and cuddle closer for an extra dose of warmth

‘hmm, is my baby tired?’

he teasingly whispers and you nodded, snuggling even further and he gently cups your face

his hold had made your cheeks squeeze slightly together and your pout increased the cute factor

‘nwoooo dont skweeze demmm’

you slurred and he chuckled

‘hai hai’

‘kwiss it better’

you demanded and he full on laughed before moving his hands to your jaws so he could plant many kisses on your cheeks

the repeated kisses tickled so you giggled and squirmed

‘aaaaaa mattsun-san it tickles!!!’

your playful protests forced him to stop and allow you to actually sit up

as usual, your hair was a bird’s nest and mattsun attempted to settle it out

‘hah, y/n-chan your hair is like another being itself’

he choked out and you pouted at him

‘so mean! mattsun-san is so mean! baba-san! rescue me!!’

yahaba was known in the team to be the one who fixed your hair and you trusted him the most with it

hearing his name being called, the pretty boy dashed towards you and mattsun’s seats

‘is senpai giving you trouble again? come, honey, come to baba-san’

mattsun gave him a look for the younger’s passive agressive tone

oikawa immediately dashed over right next to yahaba

‘oh? y/n-chan! oikawa-san is here!!’

iwa and kyo growled

‘SHUT UP SHITTYKAWA!’

meanwhile irihata and naoi were just done

they just wanted to get off the train like is that such a big favor?

finally!!!!

seijoh was able to actually make it to the city and ngl, despite living in sendai, you were actually overwhelmed by the bustling city of tokyo

there were people all over the place and many cars and you were being pushed around

it didnt help that it was ltr lunch hour and a flurry of business people just flooded out of their buildings

you unconsciously gripped your bag and focused on just not tripping over people so your eyes were trained on your feet

then in the corner of your eye, you saw a tiny animal that was in danger of being stepped on so you ofc had to go chase after it

you shouted at some people to watch out and to not step on it

but then it disappeared

the moment you looked up, everyone was gone

you panicked and your head was turning from side to side

‘MATTSUN-SAN?! IWA-SAN?! KYO-SAN?!’

you shouted but it seems your voice wasnt loud enough

GIRL YOU GOTTA MANIFEST THAT BULLHORN VOICE

worry and dread bubbled inside of you but you stopped, just trying to calm down and think

then you saw the flash of white again so you hurriedly ran after it, not knowing that you were straying away from the city and towards the suburbs

you noticed you were now lost at the less amount of feet walking and this wasnt the city and you were now away from the team

taking yoru eyes off of the cat, you looked around to confirm your fear and that gave the cat an opportunity to disappear again

yoo crookshanks

huffing a curse, you pulled your phone out of your bag and dialed each

your phone wasnt reaching the boys and no one was picking up

what the heck

you ended up at some quieter and less crowded spot

like a neighborhood

you contemplated calling natsu as he lived in tokyo but tokyo was a big city and you were at some neighborhood so its highly unlikely he would know where you are

so you just walked around, looking for a place to sit and think like a park

then you heard a distressed meow

you were just walking and hearing that loud cry of help made you stop and immediately follow the sound

‘kitty? kitty?’

you called out even though you knew fully well they didnt understand you

but the cat cried even louder and you heard another cat

it was less higher pitched and honestly, you just felt like there was another cat

as you looked around, you saw the same cat you followed after and it bobbed its head at you as if asking you to follow him

‘you want me to go with you?’

the cat blinked then turned around and started walking

‘okay then’

you took the time to inspect the actual color of the cat

it was dominantly white furred but it had multiple colored spots, mainly yellow and brown

you eventually ended up at a large tree with a cat shivering on the biggest branch

it was black and had some fur sticking out at the top of its head and it looked young so its probably a kitten

you tutted and reached out your hand but it recoiled, hissing at you

BOI SHE TRYING TO HELP YOU WHAT

‘hey, i want to help you’

you softly said and maybe youre just doctor dolittle?

bc it stopped hissing and started whining instead

‘kenma-san! i swear i saw it just now-’

a sudden foreign voice made the black haired cat hiss again and this time, even you were counted as a threat

the appearance by the corner of two boys made you glare at them

one was freakishly tall with grey hair and scary green eyes while the other was shorter and had bleached hair that grew out

they both wore running shorts and black shirts and they looked like they were on a run or something

then you had a thought

this guy was tall

he could help

‘hey! you!’

you waved and the boys stopped, eyes wide

they pointed to themselves and you nodded

‘yes, silly! especially the tall one!’

the other had a flash of a glare that disappeared almost immediately but the ‘tall one’ happily skipped over

‘oho, hello chibi-chan’

KDFJSLDFKSDJLFDKSJ YES IM CONDENSCENDING

you puffed your cheeks out in anger at the nickname but this was not the time

‘that kitty up there is stuck. and i cant help it because its scared. and its all the way up there’

you pointed and he nodded

‘i followed that cat here too but i needed someone else. thats why i brought kenma-san’

your eyes shifted to ‘kenma-san’ who was focused on the other cat who also stared back at his spot by the tree

hmmm, they look kinda similar

‘well! we need to help it,,,,,, grandpa-san!’

taken aback by the nickname, the tall guy gasped while the blonde boy choked out a sudden laugh and you giggled

‘GRANDPA?!’

‘yea. you know cus you have gray hair’

you reasoned and he was about to retort when he stopped himself

‘no. we have more important matters in hand. kenma-san, come stand on my shoulders. chibi, use my jacket to catch it if it falls’

you scrambled to do your task but you heard kenma-san mumble

‘you cant tell me what to do’

‘oh hey! whats your name?’

you asked and the tall guy waved

‘im lev. haiba lev. first year’

‘kozume,,, kenma. im a second year’

‘oh! then nice to meet you! im l/n y/n!’

introductions had to be cut short as you all assembled

kenma wobbled while lev cringed at the obvious pain but they gritted their teeth and kenma lunged to grab the cat

but the cat jumped away, falling to the ground where it was caught safely by you

thankfully the jacket saved you from scratching but after a few soft whispers of reassurance, the kitty calmed down and it resulted in just shaking

‘its okay. we’re okay. i got you’

you were completely oblivious to the fact that kenma and lev were on the ground, bleeding after falling, or the shout at the distance

‘kenma! lev!’

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

you three turned to see two groups of boys coming from two directions

on the right had a guy with black hair similar looking to the cat on your arms

while the left had your familiar looking captain

‘oikawa-san!’

you shouted and he ran up, eyes wide with worry

‘where were you?! why did you run off?! you shouldn’t-’

he rambled but your eyes stopped at the appearance of your familiar pink-haired cousin

‘natsu?!’

you shrieked and he had an equally surprised expression

‘y/n?!’

he shouted

‘what-!’

he started but you beat him to it

‘why are you here?!’

you pointed to the people behind him

‘im,,, a manager. im a manager for my volleyball team’

‘volleyball,,,’

you trailed off

‘VOLLEYBALL?! NEKOMA?!’

you knew of your cousin’s school but you didnt think you guys would meet here

‘shes your cousin?’

someone piped up from the back and natsu nodded, still looking at you

‘oya? the apple doesnt fall far from the tree, then. hello gorgeous, the names kuroo tetsurou’

KSLDFJDSK I HATE THIS LIKE PLEASE HES JUST A NERD YET I WRITE HIM LIKE THIS I HATE MYSELF

‘HAH?! YOU BACK OFF!’

kyotani started but you caught him in time, holding him in your arms

‘nooo,, calm down, kyo-san’

natsu’s nose crinkled and his mouth curled

‘ugh, nice to see you too, brat’

‘BRAT?! YOU BASTARD!’

‘IM A THIRD YEAR, YOU BASTARD!’

kyotani was held back by oikawa and iwa while your cousin was with that kuroo guy and lev

you hurried back to the rest of the team and they each glared at you but they had an obvious expression of relief

‘do that again y/n-’

‘i know, makki-san. youll use a leash backpack’

lets just say its not,,, the first time youve been lost

‘new team rule. youre holding someone’s hand at all times. no matter what, always hold us’

yahaba scolded and watari nodded

meanwhile, mattsun grabbed your hand and gripped it tight

‘youre never leaving my sight again’

his tone was different from his usual playful and teasing voice

you knew he was very worried and that made you feel really guilty

‘im sorry’

you whispered and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly

‘its okay. youre here right now and thats all that matters’

you nodded and you turned your head, leaning on his chest to watch oikawa yelling and shouting at this kuroo guy while your cousin and kyo were arguing and you chuckled

this was,,, chaos

‘dear god, you shouldve let me be lost for a few more hours’

you mumbled, smiling lightly when mattsun’s chest vibrated as he laughed

‘take me with you next time’

‘i will’

you hummed

‘Y/N-CHAN! YOU ARE NOT GOING NEAR THIS-THIS MONGREL!’

oikawa screeched, stomping his way over to you

you smirked

‘oi kuroo-san! lets hang out after the match!’

oikawa screamed

a/n: now that my nekoma manager is out, i can finally have a manager x manager interaction and uwuwuwuwu just wait until i finish the others and ill do that req anon sent in ;) if you sent it in, you know what im talking about ;)

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onestowatch · 3 years ago

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For Griff, Vulnerability Is the Only Way to Cut Through the Noise [Q&A]

Photo: Zachary Chick

Griff may have just turned 21, but for the last few years, her life has been anything unlike the average 20-year-old’s. Since releasing her debut EP in 2019, the British singer-songwriter has put out a sophomore effort, won Rising Star at the Brit Awards, and is set to join Dua Lipa’s 2022 ‘Future Nostalgia’ tour. Most recently, she released her well-received collaboration, “Head on Fire,” which also features the up-and-coming Norwegian artist, Sigrid.

Best known for her reflective yet catchy pop songs, Griff draws on inspiration from her childhood and current experience to create a narrative that one can find meaning in at any stage of life. She candidly writes on themes that are deeply personal, yet incredibly relatable, allowing her music to evolve with her audience. We were privileged enough to sit down with Griff and talk all things touring, vulnerable songwriting, and what it means to come into your own.

youtube

Ones to Watch: Congratulations on your US tour! How has your time in New York been so far?

Griff: Thank you! How’s it been? Oh my god, it's so cold here. (laughs) But no, it's been amazing. I’m trying to remember, so we landed in New York and did a show, and it was amazing. Then we went to D.C. and then went back and did a second show in New York. It feels surreal to be back here. It feels really surreal to be doing my first American tour.

I saw you asked for lunch recommendations the other day. Did you find something extraordinary to eat?

I didn’t have loads of time, so I was looking for places near me. I went to Dudley’s. It was a nice brunch spot. I went to Scar’s Pizza. I’ve also had Prince Street Pizza.

So, in terms of coming into your career, is there an experience or memory that affirmed your decision to pursue music?

I don’t know, I’ve always loved music. I’ve grown up in church and that was always a really encouraging space for me to fall in love with music. And I think I always really just liked writing songs. I was always writing songs when I wasn’t in school. I was always learning chords to my favorite songs. Yeah, so I feel like I don’t have one big revelation moment; I think it’s just something that evolved and grew and was always inside of me.

Has growing up half-Chinese, half-Jamaican influenced your creative process and how you approach songs?

I think on the creative side, that's definitely my Black, Jamaican roots. I grew up a lot listening to Black and soul music. My dad is super musical, and I think that music and soul is definitely a large part of Black culture, so that’s kind of bled into what I do. And I think my Chinese side has given me a work ethic. Even watching my mom immigrate to London and going super working class to move us out and building a whole life for the family out of nothing, I think there’s something in the Chinese mentality where you do just make something out of nothing and you do work really hard until you see results. I think it’s kind of a perfect combination.

During your songwriting process, do you largely draw from personal experiences or do you find that you take inspiration from outside of yourself?

I think it’s a bit of both. Because it’s not everyday, when you’ve come to write a song, you feel like you have something really personal and detailed to say, but some days you do. I think the best songwriters can draw inspiration from anywhere and still tell a story that feels very personal. So, I think it's a bit of both, it really depends where I’m at.

I’m sure it’s quite a challenge to be so raw and vulnerable in your songwriting. Was there ever a time when you were hesitant to share your music with the world?

I always feel hesitant to share music with the world. I think if it were up to me, all my music would just stay on my laptop and I’d never release it, because I’m constantly overthinking. I never feel like anything is ready, and I never feel like anything is good enough. Honestly, every single release, I’m incredibly hesitant.

What helps you continue to find the courage to share that more vulnerable side of you?

I think the best songs are the vulnerable ones. There’s a lot of talent out there, and a lot of incredible singers and songwriters. I think the ones that move you are the ones that are most honest and vulnerable. It's kind of not really a choice, you just have to make sure that you’re writing stuff that cuts through the rest of it and being honest is the way that you do it.

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Do you feel that the creative process differed at all between One Foot In Front Of The Other and The Mirror Talk?

I think it did change, but not intentionally. There were still a lot of similarities, like I think it's all still this bedroom pop-ish, synth-based honest songwriting, so that front will always be there. What I’m writing about has changed and hopefully my songwriting has gotten a little bit better, but I don’t think I’ve been conscious in making them sound different or the same, it’s more up to other people to judge that.

When relistening back to older projects, do you feel that you still relate to the themes that you wrote about, or does it seem like a distant memory now?

I think a bit of both. I don’t tend to listen to a lot of the songs that I once wrote, I think I’ll probably listen to them and wish that I did things differently or produce them differently. But I think in any songs you can find your own meaning in them and in new ways.

One Foot In Front Of The Other is all about walking through life. Do you feel like there is a certain theme to this particular walk of life that you’re in?

I think my headspace is very much that 2022 is looking like a lot of touring, so that's kind of where I’m at right now. I’m figuring that out, and I’ve only just started. I feel like that’s my next challenge that I haven’t really experienced a lot of yet.

I know that you’ve had to postpone your UK tour, which I'm sure was heartbreaking for you. Now that you’re on an international tour, I’m sure it must feel surreal.

It feels really crazy. I think it's very difficult as well for artists to tour and to say that they’ve sold out tours and that kind of thing, especially in this climate, so I’m feeling very very grateful to be here. I know that this isn’t something that comes by very often. It’s just crazy to see people actually show up and to see rooms packed.

Speaking on your Against the Clock series, is there a particular collaboration that you were especially proud of or that has stood out to you?

I loved the Maisie Peters one, just because Taylor saw that one and that really did stick out. This one is probably one of the less popular ones, but I did one with Conor Albert, who is a really talented UK musician and producer. We did Phoebe Bridgers’ “Kyoto” and that was really fun. He is just incredibly talented.

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Speaking of Taylor Swift, what did it feel like to receive such high praise from someone that you’ve looked up to since you were young?

Really insane. Like really really crazy. I think the first time that I met her, it was really surreal and she was very complimentary. But you kind of start convincing yourself, like of course she’d be nice, you have to be, we’re at an award show, you have to be complimentary, that’s apart of what the chat is, but it was when she put my mixtape on her story, because she doesn’t post a lot at all. I remember that day because I didn’t even expect to see any reviews, but I remember I saw one that wasn’t that amazing, but then Taylor Swift put that on her story literally within a few hours after and I was like it’s fine because Taylor likes it.

Is there anything that you particularly want to do while you're in the US?

No, I just want to eat good food, I feel like you guys have good restaurants that are way better than London. I would like to go to what we call charity shops but what you call thrift stores. What else? Yeah, I think those are the top two things.

Happy belated birthday! Being in your 20s is such an exciting time. Is there anything in particular that you want to attract or manifest this year?

I mean, I’m not so much a big manifest energy person, but I think the one thing that I’m praying for is to write an incredible album and to really just enjoy touring. I think you can let kind of the whole music and the whole whirlwind of it pass you by so I think just really enjoying it. And just really praying that creativity will come and that I’ll write something really interesting and groundbreaking.

#griff #interview #pop #singer songwriter

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

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Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.4

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Ep. Warnings: cursing, small angst

Summary: after getting caught by dabi, Y/N’s been extra cautious ESPECIALLY with Bakugou. She’s still trying to figure out her feelings about..well, EVERYTHING and so to cope, she blocks out everything and isolates.

Pt.1 Pt.2 P.3 P.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

A/N: Kinda short, Sorry :P

Bakugou’s POV

After spending all that time with Y/N, I could definitely say I like her. Like...LIKE HER like her. She’s..amazing. She has to be one of the top fighters in our class, she’s beautiful and has an incredible body. Her voice is like honey and she has this smile..that’s just..wow. Besides her physical, her as a person is incredible. She’s a good listener, she’s so open minded, she’s respectfully honest, and she brings out the better me.

I’ll admit, I’m pretty strict on following rules. I need to make a good name for myself out in the hero world. But Y/N has a delinquent past. She teaches me to risk it with the stupid rules and just enjoy life as a teen. Not only that, but considering she’s a little rebel herself, she can get out of hand sometimes. So she has me to keep her from going over the cliff. We’re a perfect balance for each other.

.....We’re perfect for each other.

No one’s POV

The morning after your little rendezvou with Bakugou, you woke up in heartache. You were so confused on why. Was it because you were something you’re not to everyone? Was it because you were doing this for the league more than for yourself? But you weren’t dumb. You knew the answer. Or rather, answers. Firstly, it’s because you knew you weren’t enjoying yourself by going through with this plan. It didnt feel right. Second, Bakugou. As scared as you were to admit it..you liked him. You really liked him.

That fact terrified you. You didn’t grow up around love. You grew up around hatred, bloodshed, violence, and fear. For your entire life, everything was all about survival. Even when you had a “steady” home with the league. But Bakugou came into the picture and threw you off. With him, he gave you a sense of security and peace. A warm feeling inside your heart that became more addicting than any drug. Yes, you enjoyed it but at the same time, it confused you. You weren’t sure how to deal with these emotions. You weren’t even sure if you deserved to be blessed with these emotions. With Katsuki.

You were and are a villain. You are the high ranking villain, Titania, and you are on a mission to take down UA from the inside. You were a villain, and you knew your place. A killer, a criminal, a thief, a menace like you didn’t deserve these feelings of..love. You didn’t even know how to handle them. So you did what you thought was best no matter how bad it hurt you.

When you walked into the hallway that your dorm opens up to, you were gifted with the surprise of Katsuki being there, waiting for you.

“Hey Princess,” he began but looked down to your side. “Princess and Rumor.” He said as he chuckled and petted Rumor’s head. Rumor smiled up at the familiar blonde and barked in happiness. Those two got along so well. “So I was thinking we could walk to class together.”

“Sorry...but..no. Come Rumor.” You said and turned away as you cringed at yourself in regret. Rumor followed you, along with Bakugou.

“Heh..sure princess. Try again.” He said thinking you were just messing around. Except, you didn’t answer him. You just kept walking with a blank look on your face, as if he wasn’t even around. Your entire persona was just..off? No playful remarks, no sass or attitude, no teasing mannerisms. It wasn’t you. “Hey, Y/N.”

He tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you sped up and walked out the doors with Rumor leaving Bakugou in confusion and hurt.

‘Did I do something wrong?’ Bakugou released a quiet whine to your behavior and just shook his head and continued to walk to school.

When he arrived in the class, you had already been seated. Thankfully, your desk was next to his so he could try speaking to you then. He firstly walked to you and tried getting some sort of conversation out of you.

“So..what do you think is gonna happen today?” He asked. Even he thought it was a pathetic question but at least it was something.

“Not sure.” You blatantly replied.

“Oh...okay well, uh, Shitty hair and I were planning on getting a workout in later, do you wanna join us?” He asked again.

“I’ll be training with Rumor today and thats all.” You said.

“Nice....you uh, mind if we join you?”

“No.”

“Uh....okay. Cool...........Y/N, listen I-“

“Take your seat Bakugou. Class is starting.” Mr. Aizawa said. Bakugou reluctantly took his seat but not before looking towards you with desperate eyes for at least something more than what you were giving him. But nothing came.

Class went on and Bakugou tried to focus as best as he could, but with the girl he was falling for completely brushing him off, he was in a silent frenzy. Bakugou and you had a thing during class hours. When you guys were dying to talk to each other, you would pass little notes to each other’s desks and continue with that. So he did his usual notes with you and passed one your way. It’s said ‘are you doing okay, Princess?’ But when he tossed it onto your desk, you left the crumpled piece of paper there as you continued listening to Mr. Aizawa.

Since you didn’t reply, he sent another one your way. This time, making sure it hit you a little bit to get your attention but once again, nothing.

‘Wtf’ Bakugou thought. He assumed you were just having a bad morning so even though it hurt him, he left you alone to cool off. I mean, it’s not like he was the only one you weren’t speaking to. You were practically ignoring everybody’s existence.

Lunch rush came and Bakugou was a little relieved. Y/N always say next to him no matter what happened. Even on those quiet days where she didn’t speak a lot during that time, he was glad she was still there and would occasionally join in on the conversation just like he did. But you didn’t come this time. Bakugou waited and when he finally saw you walking towards the table, he smiled and spoke.

“Hey Princess! About time you-“ but before he could continue, you kept your head straight and kept walking, not even sparring the table a glance. He watched you walk on and sit at a lonely table. No one was there. It was just you and Rumor. Bakugou stared from afar and after waiting for a few minutes and giving you multiple concerned stares every now and then, he finally got up to walk to you. Before he could even leave his seat though, Kirishima held him back.

“Don’t man, give her some time. She needs a break.” Kirishima said.

“From what exactly? If you know something, you should tell me now! Cuz if there’s something messing with her, tell me so I can kill it.” Bakugou replied. He was a little hurt thinking that you told Kirishima your problems and not him but he was really more concerned with what’s bugging you. What the hell was bothering you so much? Whatever it was, he’ll make sure it stops.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but it’s obvious she doesn’t wanna speak to anyone right now. Just let her stick by Rumor and be at peace for the day. Or at least until she’s feeling better.” Kirishima explained. And Bakugou knew he was right, so with a stubborn groan he sat back down and just continued to stare.

The day went on and Bakugou let you be. But it was definitely killing him on the inside. He struggled to hold himself back whenever he saw you in a room but he did restrain himself. Once in the common rooms, he noticed you didn’t even bother to stay for a minute. You went straight to your dorm even though Rumor stayed to play with Kaminari and Sero. You spent all day in there and only opened the door to Rumor. When you finally came out, it was to grab a plate of dinner for you and Rumor. You didn’t even stay to eat, you brought the food to you room and that was the last time Bakugou saw you that day. This whole thing was killing him, but what he didn’t know was that from the privacy of your room, your own tears fell much heavier than Bakugou’s.

When Y/N entered her dorm room and placed the plates of food on her table side, she sat on the side of the bed with her head hanging low, casting a shadow to fall over her face. She gripped her bed sheets and she held back sobs. Her teeth grinding against each other in frustration as her eyes squeezed shut to attemp to stop the flooding tears but to no avail. As her hiccups left her voice, Rumor came to place his head on her lap to calm her down. She placed one hand over her mouth to silence herself and calm down as she rubbed Rumor’s soft fur. She eventually gave in and sat on the floor, hugging and holding onto the giant wolf-dog.

“T-This isn’t our place Rumor...this isn’t where we belong. We’re v-villains....we don’t deserve the good they’re giv-ing us.” You sobbed out as you cried into his side.

“I d-don’t belong here!” You cried out. You sobbed into your mattress as Rumor waited for you on the side. He didn’t know what to do with his best friend being so distraught. Your continuous sobs went on for a few hours into the night. Rumor stayed right by your side through it all. The silence that filled your room was so loud and head ringing, it was almost torture. In a quiet voice, you whispered only to remind yourself a fact that Dabi had told you.

“I don’t deserve him.”

——————————————————————————

“ARGHHH!” Bakugou screamed as he snapped his pencil in anger. Y/N and Rumor just walked passed the group and went to Y/N’s dorm in silence. The Bakusquad looked at the ash blonde in concern. They knew how this boy felt. Y/N’s been avoiding him like the plague and Bakugou can’t get her off his mind.

When you completely ignored his presence, it put Bakugou into a state of sadness. Whenever he tried to talk to you, he was given brief answers followed with your dismissal. He tried doing favors for you, making time to hang out again, and asked to train with you which resulted in him getting rejected each time. It was driving him mad and he just wanted to be around you again.

“I still don’t get why the hell she’s acting like this! When we hung out, everything was perfect! What the fuck is going on with her?!” He shouted in anger. When Y/N is around, Bakugou gets this warm feeling inside that he’s learned to love. Now the girl is never around and he’s bursting in anger at every little thing. Can you blame him? He’s kind of hurt. The girl he’s in like with doesn’t even acknowledge him when she passes by anymore. He misses you. A lot.

“Well why don’t you ask her?” Kirishima questioned.

“Because I-.........actually, that’s a good idea.” Bakugou said as he dropped everything to run up to your dorm and talk. How could he have been so dumb? Listening to Shitty hair. All that hair dye is messing with his brain and local advice. He couldn’t believe he had really left you alone in pain for a whole day. Now, he was gonna get to the bottom of this one way or another. When he made it there, he began banging on your door without even giving it a second thought.

“Y/N! Open up, c’mon! I know you’re in there.” He said on the other side. In the comfort of your bed you poked your head out of the covers and reluctantly got out. You knew he wouldn’t stop till he got his answers. So you went to open the door and put on the best smile you could.

“Hi Katsuki,” you said with a huff. “Look, I’ve been having a really bad headache so if you don’t mind-“

“Nope,” he interrupted and just pushed open the door to get inside. How charming. He walked in and you just rolled your eyes and sighed. You shut the door and turned to him. “You can’t lie to me about some headache Y/N, I know it’s not the truth. You’ve been avoiding me and I wanna know why.”

“It’s nothing personal, I just..needed some time.” You said, looking everywhere but at him. A silence entered the room. Not the comforting silence it usually is with you two, more of the nervous kind. Bakugou thought about what he would say next..he didn’t even know if it was okay to say. But he did it anyway.

“Is it...me? Did I do something wrong?” You looked at him with a shocked face as he continued, “‘cuz if it was me, then... I’m sorry. I’m new to this whole..whatever we have going on, but I’m really trying here and I-...I don’t know, I thought that night we went out was pretty good, but I can do better if you jus-“

“Katsuki, hey no, stop that,” you said as you walked up to him. “This has nothing to do with you messing up or anything. That night was amazing, you are amazing, and everything that’s happened between us so far has been..amazing.” You confessed.

“So then...why? Why all the distance? Why do you avoid me?....what happened?” Bakugou asked as he got closer. If something was wrong, he genuinely wanted to help you out of it. You just laughed a little before you spoke, realizing how cliche you were gonna sound.

“Look, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just been going through something..life changing, and I don’t really know who I am yet. I just..needed a break from everything. Especially you.” You said as you looked him in his eyes.

“Especially me? Why?” He asked. The amount of nerves that hit you all at once was ridiculous. You could confess right here right now and rip off the bandaid. Or you could lie your way out and save yourself the embarrassment. You bit your lip and tilted your head towards the ceiling for a second in exhaustion before speaking.

“Because.....Ugh! I like you, all right? A lot. You..you’re really cute, and fun, and there’s just all these amazing things about you annddd..” as you spoke you looked at his face and he started to grow a small smile as he looked at you with that cocky look and a slightly raised brow, “stop doing that!” You said and smacked his shoulder.

“Ow, what?” He laughed out. “Stop doing what?”

“That! That stupid face that you do when you look at me with that smile and face when you just...and..you....you just-.....Umm..uh..” you trailed off from your sentence as Bakugou leaned down into your face, resting his forehead on yours.

“And..?” He asked.

“And...and no free compliments!” You said as you pushed his shoulder and turned to your side. He chuckled at the way you pouted and crossed your arms. “Look, we’ve established that I like you Katsuki,”

“Keep going, I like what I’m hearing,” he said with a grin and his hands in his pockets.

“And that’s the problem.”

“Okay, stop. I don’t like it anymore.” He said and looked to the side with a grouchy face. You laughed and walked up to him and pulled at his arms.

“No, seriously,” you said with a laugh, “I like you, but that’s the problem. Where I’m from...it’s..different. I never really got to explore emotions like this..so..I don’t really know how to handle them. It’s confusing. I just thought, if I isolated and took some time to myself, they would go away...but they haven’t. They’re still here, they’re still strong, and I still don’t know what to do.” You said with a heavy breath. The weight finally came off of your chest after your confession but something was still poking at you and you weren’t sure what. You didn’t let it bother you for too long though, you finally felt like you could breath again.

“So..what? You’re emotionally constipated? ‘Cuz if That’s the case, then I’m the same way, princess. We must come from the same place.” He joked.

“Oh no we don’t. If anything......it’s almost like we’re from two different worlds,” you said with a slightly sad demeanor that Bakugou detected. He picked you up, sat on your bed and got comfortable while placing you on his lap.

“So then explain. Talk. Tell me about this ‘different world’ you claim you’re from, princess.” He said with air quotes as he kept one arm snug around your waist.

“I can’t,” you sighed and looked down at your hands in your lap, “if I told you everything, I know for a fact you’d just drop me outta your life...I know it’s selfish but I don’t know if I could honestly handle that,” you quietly said. Bakugou tilted your head so you were facing him.

“Nothing you say could ever make me want to get rid of you..I promise.....something about you just..makes me need to have you around.” He said caressing your cheek. You both stared at each other, enjoying the warmth you both radiated. The atmosphere changed into something some would call love, and if this was what it was, you didn’t want it to stop. It became something so comforting and addicting the both of you didn’t want to lose it.

Once again, the world around you fell away, as you and Bakugou became the only two people in the world again. He leaned in closer, and you mimicked his actions, until the soft feeling of his lips pressed against yours. Fireworks went off in your head as you met in the middle in the softest way, and what started as a passionate kiss turned into a sweet makeout. Your lips danced across one another and you both could savor the taste you were experiencing. While the flavor of caramel and spice came onto you, the delicious taste of strawberries and scent of vanilla invaded Bakugou’s senses. He adored the way you tasted and craved it even more after every second. When you both finally separated, you stared at each other with starry eyes and heavy breaths as you leaned against each other in a loving way. Blush adorned both your faces as the comforting silence filled the air once again. Bakugou was the first to speak.

“Y/N...whatever it is you need..assistance, time, comfort, I’ll always provide. Just please don’t push me away ‘cuz I won’t go.” He said with his head against yours.

“Yeah..heh, I believe you,” you softly said. Bakugou pulled your head down to lean against his shoulder as you cuddled into him, enjoying the moment. Until you realized, you might just have to tell him everything. Bakugou seemed to sense your little nerve and settled you down. He kissed the crown of your head before speaking.

“Tell me everything when you’re ready, princess.” He said. You felt tears of joy fill your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You just reveled in the comfort and love Bakugou was giving you. Love. How amazing. Something many people had told you, you didn’t deserve. But Bakugou came in and changed all of that for you. He came into the darkness and provided the small amount of light you needed. You were so thankful for him. You smiled before speaking in a sweet voice of appreciation.

“Okay.”

96 notes · View notes

shunsuiken · 4 years ago

Note

hc’s for Kuroo and Bokuto with a fem!s/o that DOES NOT STOP TALKING!!EVER!!! like she seems quiet and calm at first, but then she surprises them; please 🥺🥺 xo

due to my illiteracy i read kuroo and kenma sdsjdksj i still wrote bokutos hcs tho so dw! thank u for this request<3

kuroo, kenma and bokuto having a talkative fem s/o.

—kuroo tetsurou.

so when you and kuroo first started dating

you guys were kinda nervous at first but thats natural for a new couple

after a few weeks though, you guys began opening up quicker and more comfortably with each other

communicating became much easier as well when you both learned each others love languages through lots of trial and error 💀

then came this time where

it was as if

your soul had switched with someone elses

because kuroo knew the type of person you were and what you were like

but that was not what he felt when he saw you excitedly chatting away with your friends regarding some movie that came out last week

(you guys are also laughing HYSTERICALLY with each other and omg kuroo has never seen that big of a smile on your face EVER)

kenma had to poke his sides to bring him back to earth cus dude was just that shocked

“KENMA WHAT WAS THAT FOR??-?-?-?1?1”

“you’ve been staring at y/n for a socially unacceptable amount of time, you look like a creep.”

“OH! HEY KUROO YOU’RE ON LUNCH BREAK”

oh my god. kuroo would think at first. who WERE you???

he realised that maybe all this time, the reserved and quiet you may have just been the first layer of your personality, maybe you just needed the time to adapt to the changes?

and so will kuroo lmao

“KUROO KUROO HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NEW MOVIE” “WE SHOULD WATCH IT” “ITS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE AND”

“y/N??? DO YOU NORMALLY SPEAK FHIS MUCH???” he was so used to seeing your calm and relaxed composure

and now that you looked like the epitome of chaos, he felt so cheated that he wasn’t able to get you to be like this in the first few weeks of the relationship

“YEAH!!! but MAYBE im on a SUGAR RUSH right now IM NOT ENTIRELT SURE BUT”

kuroo is just watching you speak, this dumb smile on his face as the truest form of you flourishes in front of him

he’ll start acting like a parent at some point because YOU ARE CRAZY MAAM

“y/n stop yappin’ and EAT” “WAIT WAIT LOOK AT THIS TEASER FOR THAT NE-”

he’d deadass shove a whole onigiri in your mouth just to tease you for a bit

he also likes that he can make jokes and make you laugh louder than before

hes just so happy to see this side of you 🥺

—kozume kenma.

kenma is going to be SO SHOCKED

ngl he’d probably look at u with his brows like >:0 “where did u take my girlfriend!!! where is my girlfriend!!!”

and you’d be in this happy mood so you are PEAK chatty right now so you’re laughing at kenma’s face cus 💀

were your two personalities really just that different 💀💀

kenma will have to get used to your sudden outbursts of excitement conversations every now and then

boy has NO idea what triggered you into switching personalities

but i guess kuroo helps him connect the dots and hes like oh and then hes like oh :D because its a good thing that you willingly act like this in front of him

esp without feeling embarassed or anything hes happy you’re comfortable

its also really cute when you suddenly feel like youre rambling too much

your arm would cling around kenma’s and he’d listen to you ramble about this new netflix show that was released a few weeks ago but it was totally cliche so you told him how the entire internet made fun of it

then when you turn your head to look at kenma, hes just looking forward and you’re like “sorry, rambling arent i?”

“its not a bother,” he’ll say, sliding his fingers to wrap around yours. “if you want we could watch it together for the fun of it”

and thats literally what yall did and oml is kenma glad to see the chaos unfold in front of him

(you were not wrong when you said it was cliche, kenma almost puked at how cliche it was lmfao)

he’ll defs poke fun at the way youre loud just around him and your closest friends but when youre with other people youre just crickets

sometimes when hes playing, you’ll watch his screen and suddenly start braiding his hair

and boy does he have some silky locks despite all the bleaching

then theres another situation where hes playing and you’ll be right beside him, commenting and yelling when they’re in a danger zone

“KENMA IF YOU STAY THERE YOURE-” “I KNOW I KNOW IM TRYING TO GET OUT” “QUICK!! YOUVE ONLY GOT 10 SECONDS LEFT”

“pft kenma you got your girl over or sth? we can hear her” an online friend is gonna say and kenma’s JUST BLUSHING AND STUTTERING, TRYING TO EXPLAIN

you can hear kuroo’s hyena laughter through kenma’s headphones 💀

and since you got to see kenma stumble all over his words and act like a nervous trainwreck, it was overall a very enjoyable experience for you

“sooo when are you gonna play again?”

HES GOING TO PINCH YOUR CHEEKS AS A PUNISHMENT

but you like it cus kenma does this cute nose scrunch whenever he pinches your cheeks

and ever since you’ve shown kenma this side of you, the teases between you and him have been endless

you both make sure never to go too far with the jokes tho! so alls good :)

—bokuto koutarou.

bo would prolly be so confused at first like yall know that one ep where hes up against karasuno for that summer training camp and hes just (°_°) YEAH

he’d be like that for the first five seconds before shit clicks

“Y/N!!! Y/N!!!!” “KOU!!! KOUTAROU!!!!” and cue the big couple hug

and every other third year is like 💆🏻‍♀️ here they go AGAIN

and akaashi is literally holding bokuto’s hotdog he literally threw in the air

“A- AKAASHI DO YOU SEE THIS” “yes, bokuto-san, please lower your voice”

bokuto is just 🤩 @ you and he can’t seem to take his eyes off your lips, he loves the way they move

sometimes when yall are in the same class, everyone purposely puts you two on each end of the class

just so that your vibes dont mix and end up causing an explosion

but distance makes the heart grow fonder 🥴

SO THERES LITERALLY NO DIFFERENCE

but even if you two become a lil too loud for everyones liking, they still enjoy the atmosphere you two bring

also loves to invite you and akaashi to walk home together because 🥺 the energy is just so nice

hes also glad that his girl and his best friend can speak comfortably

also rip akaashi’s ears whenever you two start laughing or yelling about some stupid puns you read out loud on the way home

now, during practises after school

the entire fukurodani vbc has to constantly remind you guys to tone down your noise levels

no, not those noise levels

but the way both of you can speak so passionately when talking about things you both have mutual interest in

there’ll be lots of jumping around and always expect the unconscious hand-holding, bo just really likes to hold hands with you

“Y/N YOU LIKE THIS MOVIE??1?2?1?-?1?” “YEAH IVE LOVED IT SINCE LIKE,,, FOREVER!!”

and obvi bokuto’s gonna bring up and ask you why and how you suddenly have so much more energy than before

and you’re just like “i’m only like that for a while 🥺” and you tell him you only start showing the way you actually act when you’re fully comfy w the person

his face softens, relieved that he can make you feel safe in his presence

hes happy that you’ve come to feel that way

so he becomes clingy for the rest of the afternoon you’re not complaining

#haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #bokuto koutaru #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kenma kozume x reader #kuroo x reader #kenma x reader #bokuto x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu headcannons #hq headcanons #hq hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #bokuto koutarou x reader

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argumentl · 3 years ago

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The Freedom of Expression - Ep 45, radio version, August 2016 - Dobashi in Brazil, 'Crush the NHK' election broadcast, Shark movies.

Kaoru starts the show by commenting on how suntanned Joe looks. Joe says he attended Fuji Rock and got tanned. He spent three days watching live performances and had a great time. The weather was relatively mild, cool at night, no rain, so Joe says it was quite a 'comfortable' Fuji Rock. Joe asks Kaoru if he's getting a suntan yet. Kaoru says he hasn't got a tan at all. He has been spending all his time indoors song writing.

Kaoru then reminds listeners that its only three more days until the live special will be broadcast, and reads out the title of it again. Joe says its quite a rough sounding title. People will be intrigued by it. Kaoru then says he has recieved a message from Dobashi in Brazil, and proceeds to read it out..The message reads as follows: 'Hi to everyone at TFoE. Are you all well? Are you into 'Hiranabe Go'? (*Kaoru comments, 'We kinda are'*) At the time of this broadcast I am in the Southern hemisphere, in Rio de Janeio, Brazil. There may be people wondering why Tokyo Sports has come here. I've been requested to do Tokyo Sports style reporting here, but nothing dangerous enough to get us into trouble. Some of my articles are already published, so please, fans of Dir en grey, fans of Joe, fans of Kami, and fans of Hiranabe with thier butts out (*Did I get this right?? '平鍋の下半身出たファンの皆さん'...??😳*), please do go and pick up a copy of Tokyo Sports. There will also apparently be a live broadcast of this show on August 9th and I will join it from the other side of the world for just a little while. Security is so bad here, and I may be robbed during the broadcast, but I won't miss it! Everyone please listen'. Kaoru and Joe both say they are looking forward to it. Kaoru reckons it'll be about lunch time in Brazil when Dobashi joins them for the show. Just the kind of time he's likely to be busy with work.

Tasai joins them next, for the Tokyo Sports corner. Tasai goes back to the question of why Tokyo Sports is at the Olympics. He says that overseas, people see the word 'Tokyo' in Tokyo Sports, and often mistakenly assume that it must be the major sports newspaper in Japan (*It isn't actually considered a serious newpaper at all in Japan*). Once, when a Tokyo Sports journalist went overseas to report, a special reserved seat had been set up just for them. Kaoru says he can understand how such a misunderstanding could take place. If they, as Japanese people, heard of a newspaper with 'New York' in the title, they would assume it was pretty major. Tasai calls this, 'Tokyo Sports magic'. They laugh about how the people in Brazil might see Dobashi and think 'Wow, a Tokyo Sports reporter!', they probably assume he's rich.

Tasai's first news is about one of the contenders for the Tokyo Governor position, Tachibana Takashi, who represents the N Koku party (or The Party To Protect The People From The NHK). His election broadcast/pitch was pretty incredible, says Tasai. Joe watched it, so knows all about it, but Kaoru did not. Tachibana was originally an employee of NHK. He quit after leaking info about NHK's financial trouble to a gossip mag. When running for Tokyo Governor, he put out a 6 min televised election pitch, which was actually broadcast on NHK, in which he repeatedly called for the NHK to be destroyed. This has gained both supportive and critcal reactions from the public. NHK employees get a very high annual salary, which is paid for by the NHK fee imposed on the public. Even people with low incomes are hounded for this fee, which Tachibana thinks is questionable. In his pitch, Tachibana also raised the many crimes or wrongdoings which individuals related to NHK have been involved in, including the case of two NHK TV announcers who were having an affair, and were caught having sex in a car. Tachibana claims the NHK is trying to cover up this info. Kaoru wonders if Tachibana is holding some kind of grudge against the NHK.

Joe then mentions the documentary movie 'Candidates/立候補', which deals with the topic of bubble candidates in elections. This movie features Mac Akasaka who is also another bubble candidate in this Tokyo Governor election. Joe explains that a bubble candidate is a candidate who is not expected to recieve many votes (like Tachibana). He adds that in order to run in the election, any wannabe candidates have to first pay a fee of ¥3million. This is to try to avoid joke candidates from running, and to make sure the candidates who do run are doing so seriously. The movie in question deals with the idea of paying the fee whilst knowing you won't win, and the reasons for doing so. Joe says it may obviously just be for a bit of self promotion, but this is also actually a good way to put a message out to the public that would never normally get there through the mass media. At the same time, there is always the risk that you will come across as a joke, despite paying ¥3million. Its a risk you have to take if you run as a bubble candidate. Tasai adds that any candidate that recieves less than ten percent of the vote has to forfeit the money they paid. Joe says that most bubble candidates never clear this post, and they have the added burden of campaign costs. They may get a chance to speak out about what they want, but it costs. Tasai comments that criticizing the NHK publicly is actually a massive tabboo, so ¥3million is perhaps not so expensive if it means being able to say such things publicly. With the tv election pitch which all candidates get, you have 6 mins on national tv to speak the truth exactly as you see it. Tasai's favourite thing about Tachibana's pitch is that at the end of his speech, he proposed a kind of quiz asking viewers to guess how many times he had said, 'Crush the NHK!' during the last 6 mins.

Joe also mentions that the 6 min televised election pitch can also unfortunately be used as a means to deliver hate speech, which was seen in the pitch of candidate Sakurai Makoto, founder of the ultra-nationalist/far-right group Zaitokukai. Allowing candidates to speak thier mind directly comes with this risk. Joe then brings up the legendary election pitch by rock star Uchida Yūya, still available to watch on youtube today. (*Do check this out if you havn't already!*)

Tasai's next news is about the recent hit shark move, 'The Shallows' (Japanese title: Lost Vacation.), starring Blake Lively. The movie had quite a low budget, but has taken in huge amounts at the box office. Tasai asks Joe and Kaoru if they like shark movies. Joe says he knows someone at the Rolling Stone office who is a shark movie mega-fan. Shark movies have evolved a lot since 'Jaws', there are even movies about flying sharks etc out there now. Its proper b-movie territory. These days there is also a lot of shark merchandise, like shark backpacks etc.

Tasai goes on to say that shark movies are particularly popular with young women these days. The younger generations, particularly women, are not that interested in mainstream Japanese movies, but much more into horror etc. Kaoru didn't know that young women actually went out to watch movies much these days. Tasai says they apparently tend go as groups of three or so. Each of the three will then tweet to thier friends, and so popularity spreads. Kaoru comes to the realisation that women also actually like scary stuff. Tasai says (*I think*) that a scary movie is the place to go to find young women this summer, and Kaoru likens this to playing 'Hiranabe Go'.

To finish, Kaoru comes back to talk about the live special which will happen in 3 days. Joe admits a lot of his friends have asked him about it. After the last live boadcast, they all recieved a bit of a bashing. Kaoru doesn't know how it will turn out. Joe says they will look back over the last six months during it, and Kaoru adds that he will play some more of the new jingle entries for the last time. Finally, he plugs the Dum Spiro Spero tour and ends the episode.

Songs - Dir en grey/Lotus, ???/??? (*couldn't make this out*), Dir en grey/Utafumi

Back to radio top page

#If anyone knows what the song at 12:40 is pls let me know #dir en grey #the freedom of expression #radio

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anothersievefistedfind · 3 years ago

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Photo © by Michael Koenig

Fugazi, 40 Watt, Athens, GA USA 12/18/1999 (FLS #0959)

This recording documents the last out of eight times Fugazi performed in Athens, Georgia, which played out at the 40 Watt Club as it did every single time since their first show in Athens on June 3, 1988.

As per Ian, “until recently, I think there were two cities in the country that we had played like numerous shows but always at the same place, one was in Austin, Texas at the Liberty Lunch, and the other one is right here at the 40 Watt, and we’ve gotten word that the Liberty Lunch has been shut down or it’s all over […] but the 40 Watt is still here so, here’s one, I guess we just wanna say thanks to the 40 Watt for having us some many times over the years.”

Clocking in at 1 hour and 55 minutes, this recording surely preserves one of the longest, perhaps even the longest performance in the live history of the band.

During the introductory remarks, Ian addresses someone in the crowd, asking if he is “the guy that played the 3 hours of Fugazi today”, adding: “Well, thanks. I am surprised you’re here actually, I’d think you’d be fucking sick of us by now…” while towards the end of the show, Ian reiterates that “it just occurred to me, if you played Fugazi songs for 3 hours today, you’re working on your fifth fucking hour of us” and grants him a request by way of “reward” which results in Great Cop. It appears that the “DJ” in question is John Farrar, current co-host of the Live On 4 Legs podcast which pays tribute to the Pearl Jam live repertoire.

While the recording sounds excellent overall, as noted (see submission below), I find that a good part of the set is a bit of a hodgepodge and it is not until Break that it really starts grabbing my attention. But those last nine songs are pretty much perfect and elevate the overall performance.

It certainly offers really good live versions of a number of songs, yet absolute highlights in my book include KYEO, a song “particularly appropriate given the fact that people in Seattle try to make us think about a somewhat dubious World Trade Organization, so-called civilized American police force shot them with rubber bullets, and a so-called truthful American media portrayed it as a bunch of fucking thugs breaking windows but the thugs are on the other side of the badge, so just when you though it was safe… the troops are quiet tonight, but it’s not alright cause they are planning something…”, as well as an early live rendering of Ex-Spectator in instrumental form and a standout performance of Sweet and Low which features various nice additional yet subtle touches and embellishments on guitars and drums (accentuated by sound-man Nick Pellicciotto) and unusually ends with some drawn-out guitar feedback.

While the set list draws from all available work at the time (or even the Argument album and Furniture EP unreleased at the time), note that it includes just one song off of Margin Walker EP and 7 Songs debut EP each, as well as just two songs off of Repeater.

(Words below submitted by Antti Väärälä)

“I gotta say, this is definitely one of the best sounding FLS offerings I've had the pleasure to listen to so far. There's some mix settling going on during Number 5, but after that it's a breeze. So I would easily rate this as ‘excellent’. The mix breathes, the stereo field is fully utilized and every instrument and vocal is clear. The drum sound is as good as it gets. The added effects are not over-used, but instead add some very nice color and atmosphere.

Be prepared that there is some minimal digital crackling here and there. It didn't really bother me though, as it's only a few times.

The band start off with some amusingly casual chatting. A pretty classic show structure follows at first in the form of flowing rockers with Place Position being a personal highlight. As a sidenote, I'm pretty sure you can hear Brendan yelling in delight behind the kit on a lot of songs which is a lot of fun.

Stacks is a perfect addition to the set and after that it's all a highlight for me, as the band practically flies through awesome performances one after another. A psychedelic Floating Boy merging seamlessly into a superbly dynamic Argument is just pure Fugazi bliss for me. Another really cool seamless merge is from Oh to Closed Captioned. More of these merges follow but I don't want to spoil them all.

The band play a really long set, representing basically their whole repertoire. A lot of tight rockers are balanced with some sweet moments. The final encore shows this especially well with punk fury, rocking wit and tenderness all thrown into play. Ex-Spectator is starting to be very confident albeit still instrumental here. Sweet And Low is definitely one of the coolest versions I've ever heard.

I gotta give a special mention to how amazingly Fugazi utilize dynamics in their performance at this point. A recording of this caliber really shows that off.

A highly recommended mammoth of a show!”

The set list:

1. Intro 2. Number 5 3. Cassavetes 4. And The Same 5. Place Position 6. Styrofoam 7. Public Witness Program 8. Interlude 1 9. Stacks 10. Recap Modotti 11. FD 12. Furniture 13. Floating Boy 14. Argument 15. Give Me The Cure 16. Song #1 17. Arpeggiator 18. Oh 19. Closed Captioned 20. Runaway Return 21. Interlude 2 22. Five Corporations 23. Interlude 3 24. Turnover 25. Bed For The Scraping 26. Caustic Acrostic 27. Break 28. Forensic Scene 29. Pink Frosty 30. Target 31. Interlude 4 32. KYEO 33. Encore 34. Ex-Spectator Instrumental 35. Interlude 6 36. Great Cop 37. Do You Like Me 38. Sweet and Low

#FLS1999 #fugazi #fugazi live series #dischord #40 watt #athens #georgia #ga #liberty lunch #austin #antti väärälä #ian wright #the alphabetical fugazi #john farrar #live on 4 legs

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sleepyboisinc · 5 years ago

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soo,,, the secret au huh?

its a band au. its a fucking band au. im posting this super impulsively, and it has no editing i think so if there are any mistakes,,,, fuck it idc

also this ends in a sort of cliffhanger i was gonan write more but i got tired of writing and never got the motivation to again im sorry lul

this au isnt just by me, theres other ppl involved in it too!! mainly bad timezone gang in technohive but others also helped :)

anywaysyysyshdhsh yea read if u want to ig

wilbur soot was discovered by a record label when he was 15 after he wrote the squid song. they didn't care that the lyrics were objectively bad, it was wilbur’s voice that grabbed their attention. they interviewed him and decided that they were gonna give him a chance. wilbur, who had always dreamed of being a singer, jumped at the opportunity. the interview went very well. they even asked him to sing a few songs and he nailed it. however, he wasn’t perfect. he still needed some vocal training. they spent an entire day discussing and signing paperwork. the label ended up arranging for wilbur to attend music classes to enhance his voice and get better at the guitar.

time-skip about 3 years. wilbur is 18 and is phenomenal at singing and the guitar. he starts going to uni and meets his roommate, an american student named technoblade who plays the violin. wilbur and techno quickly become friends, bonding over music and other mutual interests like video games. techno plays mini gigs on the street and at bars close to campus to make some money for himself. particularly at a little bar called “the harpy’s nest”

one day, wilbur gets bored sitting at home alone, so he goes to watch techno’s gig. he arrives halfway through the set and watches for about 5 minutes. after the gig is over, he watches as techno interacts with the bartender, a young man only slightly older looking than the two of them. techno notices wilbur and calls him over, introducing him to the bartender, philza. the two immediately hit it off and by the end of the night, they’ve exchanged numbers and a promise to meet up phil’s next shift.

over the next few months, the trio became best friends. wilbur learns that phil plays the drums and has several eps. one ep in particular, “hardcore2” blew up a bit in their general area and phil gained a bit of traction as a musician. the three boys spend most of their time hanging out at wilbur and techno’s dorm, or at phil’s bar. they stay up till ungodly hours playing video games and talking. their other friends dub them the sleepy boys, because of how tired they all are the next day.

however, as the months fly by, the date wilbur is supposed to finish training and write his first songs draws closer. he worries he’s bitten more than he can chew and he wonders if he’s even ready for fame. a month later he is assigned a manager, pete. pete says that his training contract has expired, meaning that he's ready to start writing his album. wilbur says that he needs to think a bit before he starts. pete was about to tell him he can’t have extra time to think because he signed a contract, but seeing the look of stress on wilbur’s face, he allows him 2 days before he starts. wilbur goes on a walk to think. he curses himself for second-guessing himself now. he realizes he doesn’t wanna do this alone. then he thinks of techno and phil.

what if they formed a band? that way he wouldn’t have to do this alone. he’s sure that they'd love to make a band together as well. he goes to them and… they agree. he goes to pete and asks him if they can be a three-piece band. pete says he needs to ask his higher-ups first. wilbur doesn’t hear from pete for 4 days and starts to worry. what if they won’t allow it? it wasn't part of the agreement so they have every right to turn him down. at the end of the fourth day, pete calls him and says that the higher-ups have agreed. they had to choose a group name by the end of 2 days. the trio was over the moon.

this was the start of sleepy bois inc.

their record label wasn’t massive, so the boys took to playing on the streets and in bars to gain some traction. they slowly started gaining recognition and grew faster when they made a youtube channel. they released several eps and a few albums, and gained a following over the next few years.

their first big break came 3 years after the band was formed. they had a decent following, about 50k subs on youtube and slightly less on other platforms. one day, jschlatt from lunch club, a massive boy band, got their music recommended to him on youtube. he’s intrigued and listened to it, and was surprised at how much he liked it. he liked it so much, that he decided to shout them out on twitter.

sleepybois inc’s popularity skyrocketed, and the members of both bands grew close. when lunch club announced their next tour, they revealed that sleepybois inc would open for them. the fans freak out, and many iconic moments and inside jokes form from this tour.

tommy innit was 19 years old and was preparing to become a musician. he was almost done with the 4 years of vocal and keyboard training provided by a record label and had to make a decision: be a solo artist, or join a band. if he chose the band, he has another 2 options: be assigned into a band that already exists under this label or make a new one with people that he knows.

tommy is also a massive fan of lunch club, and sees that jschlatt shouted out a band called sleepybois inc. he likes them a lot and becomes a fan of their stuff too. what tommy didn’t know is that they were at the same label he was training at and were open for a 4th member.

back on the music, tommy ended up going with band. he debated between making a band or being assigned one. after a while, he ended up going with being assigned. he was nervous about this because he'd have to integrate himself into their dynamic and feared that fans won’t like him, but he figured it’d be easier than making his friends all learn instruments.

being assigned a band is a process, so tommy had a couple of months free. during this time, lunch club was on tour with sleepybois inc and tommy got vip tickets to a show. so he went to the meet and greet and gave his number to sleepybois inc saying ”hmu if u need a keyboardist lul” as a joke (this is a very important detail i will include it f u)

so come around the day of tommy getting assigned. he has to do auditions for the bands that the record label selected for him to join. management has narrowed it down to the youngest 2 bands at their label who are open for a member: one of which is sleepybois inc.

it had been a month since tommy interviewed for sleepybois inc. he did pretty well at it, and had been talking to the boys a lot since then. he still hadn’t had news on whether he joined though.

it was 3 am. tommy had been working on school work for hours and had only just managed to finish up for the night. he settled into bed and was about to fall asleep when his phone rang. not bothering to look at who was calling, tommy picked it up

“who the fuck is calling me at 3 in the morning i swear to god-” tommy whispered angrily.

“tommy?” wilbur’s voice rang out “wait shit- this is probably a really bad time im sorry. but we have something important to tell you.”

tommy’s eyes widened.

“we’ve decided that you can join the band”

the band and their label spent a few weeks discussing how they would go about this. they boys decided they would need a name change too, and ended up settling on the name ‘purple pandas’. however, a new member and a name change would practically transform the band completely, so they had to go about announcing this the right way.

they ended up settling on posting a youtube video titled ‘making some changes’. seeing the announcement for this sent fans into a frenzy, frantically tweeting about what it could be. many rumours spread fast and it even got into a few news articles. conspiracies started floating around about what changes could possibly be taking place.

i cant write this shit no more bye

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d-criss-news · 5 years ago

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Darren Criss acts as playwright when he writes songs. He’s far more confident, and certainly more vulnerable, when he allows himself to play the part. In such a way, songwriting opens up a whole new world that pulses with untapped potential. So much of what he has accomplished in 15 years resides in his willingness to expose himself to what his imagination and intuition have in store. He steps into a playwright’s shoes with considerable ease (just look at his resume), and always one to put on plenty of bravado, especially during our Zoom face-to-face, it’s the natural order of things.

“As I get older and write more and more songs, I really recognize that I’ve always preferred to write for another context other than my own,” Criss tells American Songwriter. He speaks with a cool intensity, gesturing emphatically to accentuate a sentence, and when you let him go, he’s like the Energizer Bunny 一 “I can tell by just how quiet you already are that you’re fucked,” he jokes at the start of our video chat. But he remains just as engaged and focused when listening.

He soaks in the world, taking astute notes about behavior and emotional traits he can later use in song. His storytelling, though, arrives already in character, fully formed portraits he can then relay to the world. It’s not that he can’t be vulnerable, like such greats as Randy Newman, Tom Waits, and Rufus Wainwright, who have all embroidered their work with deeply personal observations, it just doesn’t feel as comfortable. “I’ve always really admired the great songwriters of the world who are extremely introspective and can put their heart and soul on the chopping block,” he muses. “That’s a vulnerability that I think is so majestic. I’ve never had access to it. I’m not mad about it. It’s just good to know what your deal is.”

Criss’ strengths lie in his ability to braid his own experiences, as charmed as they might be, into wild, goofy fantasies. In the case of his new series “Royalties,” now streaming on Quibi, he walks a fine line between pointed commentary on the music industry, from menial songwriting sessions to constantly chasing down the next smash, and oddball comedy that is unequivocally fun. Plotted with long-standing friends and collaborators Matt and Nick Lang, co-founders of Team StarKid, created during their University of Michigan days (circa 2009), the show’s conceptual nucleus dates back more than a decade.

If “Royalties” (starring Criss and Kether Donohue) feels familiar, that’s because it is. The 10-episode show ─ boasting a smorgasbord of delightful guest stars, including Mark Hammill, Georgia King, Julianna Hough, Sabrina Carpenter, and Lil Rel Howery ─ captures the very essence of a little known web series called “Little White Lie.” Mid-summer 2009, Team StarKid uploaded the shoddy, low budget production onto YouTube, and its scrappy tale of amateur musicians seeking fame and fortune quickly found its audience, coming on the heels of “A Very Potter Musical,” co-written with and starring Criss. Little did the trio know, those initial endeavors laid the groundwork for a lifetime of creative genius.

“It’s a full circle moment,” says Criss, 33, zooming from his Los Angeles home, which he shares with his wife Mia. He’s fresh-faced and zestful in talking about the new project. 11 years separate the two series, but their connective thematic tissues remain striking. “Royalties” is far more polished, the obvious natural progression in so much time, and where “Little White Lie” soaked in soapy melodrama, the former analyzes the ins and outs of the music world through more thoughtful writing, better defined (and performed) characters, and hookier original tunes.

“Royalties” follows Sara (Donohue) and Pierce (Criss), two struggling songwriters in Los Angeles, through various career exploits and pursuits. The pilot, titled “Just That Good,” features an outlandish performance from Rufus Wainwright as a major player in dance-pop music, kickstarting the absurdity of Criss’ perfectly-heightened reality. As our two main characters stumble their way between songwriting sessions, finally uncovering hit single potential while eating a hot dog, Criss offers a glimpse into the oft-unappreciated art of songwriting.

In his own songwriting career ─ from 2010’s self-released Human EP and a deal with Columbia Records (with whom a project never materialized) to 2017’s Homework EP and Computer Games’ debut, Lost Boys Life, (a collaboration with his brother Chuck) ─ he’s learned a thing or two about the process. Something about sitting in a room with someone you’ve never met before always rang a little funny to him.

“You meet a stranger, and you have to be creative, vulnerable, and open. It’s speed-dating, essentially. It’s a different episode every time you pull it off or not. All the big songwriters will tell you all these crazy war stories. Everyone has a wacky story from songwriting,” he says. “I slowly realized I may ─ I can’t flatter myself, there are tons of creative people who are songwriters ─ have prerequisites to just put the two together [TV and music]. I’ve worked enough in television as an actor and creator. I can connect the dots. I had dual citizenship where I felt like it was really time for me to go forth with this show.”

But a packed professional life pushed the idea to the backburner.

Between six seasons of “Glee” (playing Blaine Anderson, a Warbler and lover to Chris Colfer’s Kurt Hummel), starring in “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” on Broadway, and creating Elsie Fest, a one-day outdoor festival celebrating songs of the stage and screen, he never had the time. “I was lucky enough to be busy,” he says. “As Team StarKid’s star was continuing to rise with me being separate from it, I was trying to think of a way to get involved again with songwriting.”

At one point, “Glee” had officially wrapped and his Broadway run was finished. It appeared “Royalties” may finally get its day in the sun. “I went to Chicago for a work pilgrimage with the Langs. We had a few days, and we put all our ideas on the map: every musical, feature film, show, graphic novel, and animated series we’ve ever thought of,” he says. “A lot of them were from the Langs; they were just things I was interested in as a producer or actor. We looked at all of them and made a top three.”

“Royalties” obviously made the cut.

Fast forward several years, Gail Berman’s SideCar, a production company under FOX Entertainment, was looking to produce a music show. Those early conversations, beginning at an otherwise random LA party, showed great promise in airlifting the concept from novel idea to discernible reality. Things quickly stalled, however, as they often do in Hollywood, but Criss had at least spoken his dreams into the universe.

“I finally had an outlet to put it into gear. It wasn’t until two to three years after that that things really locked in. We eventually made shorts and made a pilot presentation. We showed it to people, and it wasn’t until Quibi started making their presence known that making something seemed really appealing,” he says. “As a creator, they’re very creator-centric. They’re not a studio. They’re a platform. They are licensing IP much like when a label licenses an indie band’s album after the fact.”

Quibi has drawn severe ire over the last few months, perhaps because there is a “Wild Westness” to it, Criss says. “I think that makes some people nervous. Being my first foray into something of this kind, Quibi felt like a natural partner for us. If this had been a network or cable show, we would’ve molded it to be whatever it was.”

Format-wise, “Royalties” works best as bite-sized vignettes, charming hijinks through the boardroom and beyond, and serves as a direct response to a sea of music shows, from “Nashville” and “Empire” to “Smash.” “Those shows were bigger, more melodramatic looks at the inside base of our world. I’ve always been a goofball, and I just wanted to take the piss out of it,” he says. “This show isn’t about songwriting. It’s about songwriters… but a very wacky look at them.”

“30 Rock,” a scripted comedy loosely based around “Saturday Night Live,” in which the focus predominantly resides around the characters, rather than the business itself, was also on his mind. “It’s about the interconnectivity of the people and characters. As much of the insider knowledge that I wanted to put into our show, at the end of the day, you just want to make a fun, funny show that’s relatable to people who know nothing about songwriting and who shouldn’t have to know anything.”

Throughout 10 episodes, Criss culls the “musicality, fun, and humor” of Fountains of Wayne’s Adam Schlesinger and Max Martin, two of his biggest songwriting heroes, and covers as many genres as possible, from K-Pop to rap-caviar and classic country. While zip-lining between formats, the songs fully rely on a sturdy storytelling foundation ─ only then can Criss drape the music around the characters and their respective trajectories. “I wanted to do something where I could use all the muscles I like to flex at once, instead of compartmentalizing them,” he says. “I really love writing songs for a narrative, not necessarily for myself. I thrive a little more when I have parameters, characters, and a story to tell.”

Bonnie McKee, one of today’s greatest pop architects, takes centerstage, too, with an episode called “Kick Your Shoes Off,” in which she plays a bizarro version of herself. “She has her own story, and I’ve always been fascinated by it,” says Criss, who took her out to lunch one day to tell her about it. Initially, the singer-songwriter, known for penning hits for Katy Perry, Taio Cruz, and Britney Spears, would anchor the entire show, but it soon became apparent she would simply star in her own gloriously zany episode.

In one of the show’s standout scenes, Pierce and Sara sit in on a label meeting with McKee’s character and are tasked with writing a future hit. But they quickly learn how many cooks are in the kitchen at any given moment. Everyone from senior level executives to publicists and contracted consultants have an opinion about the artist’s music. One individual urges her to experiment, while another begs not to alienate her loyal fanbase, and then a third advises her to chronicle the entire history of music itself ─ all within three minutes or so. It’s absurd, and that’s the point. “Everyone’s been in that meeting, whether you’re in marketing or any creative discussion that has to be made on a corporate level by committee. It’s the inevitable, comedic contradictions and dissociations from not only rationality but feasibility.”

Criss also draws upon his own major label days, having signed with Sony/Columbia right off the set of “Glee,” as well as second-hand accounts from close friends. “There are so many artists, particularly young artists, who famously get chewed up and spat out by the label system,” he says. “There’s a lot of sour tastes in a lot of people’s mouths from being ‘mistreated’ by a label. I have a lot of friends who’ve had very unfortunate experiences.”

“I was really lucky. I didn’t have that. I have nothing but wonderful things to say,” he quickly adds.“It wasn’t a full-on drop or anything. I was acting, and I was spreading myself really thin. It’s a record label’s job to make product, and I was doing it piecemeal here and there. I would shoot a season [of ‘Glee’] and then do a play. I was doing too many things. I didn’t have it in me at the time to do music. I had written a few songs I thought were… fine.”

Both Criss and the label came to the same conclusion: perhaps this professional relationship just wasn’t a good fit. They parted ways, and he harbors no ill-will. In fact, he remains close friends with many folks from that time. So, it seems, a show like “Royalties” satisfies his deep hunger to make music and write songs ─ and do it totally on his own terms.

“I still say I want to put out music, and fans have been very vocal about that. I feel very fortunate they’re still interested at all,” he says. “That passion for making music really does come out in stuff like [this show].”

“Royalties” is Darren Criss at his most playful, daring, and offbeat. It’s the culmination of everything he has tirelessly worked toward over the last decade and a half. Under pressure with a limited filming schedule, he hits on all cylinders with a soundtrack, released on Republic Records, that sticks in the brain like all good pop music should do. And it would not have been the same had he, alongside Matt and Nick Lang, not formed Team StarKid 11 years ago.

Truth be told, it all began with a “Little White Lie.”

#darren criss #american songwriter #royalties press #press #royalties #june 2020

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mischas · 4 years ago

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what do you think are some of the most underrated ryan and marissa moments? i think there are a lot of little things people forget from season 3, cos it's so bad as a whole

Ahh, okay, I’ll get emo over this for u

1x06 when Caleb’s girlfriend tells Ryan "I’d give anything to be that miserable. [...] That’s what it feels like to be in love”

1x07 Maybe this isn’t underrated but “Did you ever wonder why I came to the poolhouse to find you?” “Every day”

Their interactions in 1x12. They’re very sweet and very ‘together’ amid Luke’s heavy storyline. Even with their fight, and Ryan accusing Marissa of breaking his trust (oof), they’re in a nice place. I love the two seconds we see of Marissa’s habit of driving both Ryan and Seth to school. Love that they did that for months.

1x22 “You can be the beauty” I DIE

2x04 Seth says, right in front of them I may add, “Ryan and Marissa, that’s an epic tale right there”

2x05 “The penguin likes Marissa”

2x06 Two moments that are blink and you miss it. First in the poolhouse Marissa knows Ryan is sitting far away from her on purpose so she says something like “hey, I don’t bite” and the fact that he purposefully added distance between them always said something to me. The other moment is at the end of the ep in the left hand corner I believe. When Marissa is holding a tray of eggnog, Ryan puts a yamaclaus on her head. Maybe it was just Ben and Mischa fooling around but it’s super cute.

2x07 When he puts his arm around her in the Cohen kitchen. They already had bagels, but she brought some over as a peace offering for her behavior the night before. How Seth and Ryan both say their old ones were stale and Ryan says, “Almost chipped a tooth” it’s SO charming and sweet and the more I think about it, that’s one of my absolute favorite scenes of the show.

2x17 “I thought ugly hats were your thing”

2x21 they actually do have a phone call during this ep where he says he wishes he was home and she says the same and the way they can never fully say what they mean is VERY them lol

2x23 When he asks her to prom

3x01 Sandy says “You have a hell of a girlfriend. And if you two get married, you’ll have one hell of a mother-in-law.” I get chills from this line. This is what I DESERVED.

3x02 This is also probably not underrated but their scene on the ferris wheel. Love my reminiscent babes. “We’ve just got to find our moments” OH and earlier in that ep when Ryan apologizes to her at the lifeguard stand and plays with her fingers. It’s one of the few times in s3 I feel like we see them being fluid with one another. The way they talk with their hands held, talking about getting through this year together. Damn, that closeness was right there, and then it’s just thrown away. Another addition in this ep is when Sandy and Julie meet with the dean and Sandy remarks, “One Montague, one Capulet” referencing RM being Romeo and Juliet. A small moment but cute.

3x04 Before Forever Young, Marissa talks about the dance “I spent the whole time wishing you were there”

3x05 Marissa comparing Ryan leaving to Jimmy leaving and calling him a coward, and also when Ryan shows up to have lunch with Marissa at Newport Union. It’s very couple-y.

3x06 Summer says Marissa is busy and Ryan says “Is she studying? Because I’ve been known to get her to blow off some schoolwork”

3x07 Not sure these are underrated but the hug on the beach is perfect and their scene at the end in front of the fire is really nice too. There’s also a moment at the Bait Shop with Johnny when Marissa is saying something and she slaps Ryan’s arm (really lightly) to get him to say something too. It’s really subtle but cute.

3x08 When Ryan surprises Marissa at NU and they kiss. Also the end scene where they’ve basically made plans to go to Berkeley together talking to SS “We’ll be in Northern California, you’ll be in Rhode Island”

3x09 “You got a lap dance?” is really cute and I LOVE the talk they have at the end where Marissa is on the bed in the poolhouse and Ryan is in her room. You’d think the Johnny story would’ve been kaput at this point but no

3x11 When Marissa says she hasn’t seen Johnny in weeks and says she, Ryan, Seth, and Summer spent like a whole month hanging out, and later Summer tells Ryan about Marissa’s weird penchant for befriending strange dudes “It’s the way she’s wired. You wouldn't love her if she wasn’t” which says a LOT

3x12 In Marissa’s closet “I do have a great boyfriend” “You have a great boyfriend”

3x13 Kaitlin prods Ryan about Marissa and picks up a framed photo of them at the beach from 3x01. What was this doing in his room. On his bedside table. Did Marissa give it to him? Did he frame it???? Alright also when Kaitlin prods Marissa about Ryan she says “Yeah, you guys are soulmates, blah, blah, blah” as if she’s heard those words from her sister’s mouth a million times before

3x14 When they’re making out in the poolhouse and Marissa answers Kaitlin’s call “I’m busy” and Ryan says “Gettin’ busy” into her neck it’s very practiced and fluid in a way we never got to see them that season and I will rage forever. Also Kaitlin’s metaphor about Baskin Robbins ice cream basically saying Marissa was afraid of her love for Ryan and found other avenues to run away from the one thing she loved most. Very intense and never brought up again, so yeah.

3x17 I love the angst of this episode. They finally feel like teenagers again, awkwardly avoiding each other in the halls at school. The model home stuff is not underrated, but I love the angst of the moment Marissa turns away at the end of the episode, fully convinced she shouldn’t be in Ryan’s life. It’s sad and parallels to 1x02 so much. I love that she made him a copy of The Model Home Mix. I love the details they added that Ryan had always wanted another copy. Summer mentioning the romantic feel of the gesture. I love that Ryan was able to sit in her trailer and listen to it without her knowing. That tether of theirs still holding them together somehow. He’ll never tell her he listened to it and she’ll never tell him she made it. My babes.

3x18 This scene is more annoying than anything because of what we didn’t get to see or be aware of. When Marissa and Summer are at the Bait Shop talking about sex and Marissa basically says she and Ryan never had a problem with it, and that they were pretty heavily involved even during the Johnny era. What the hell, right

3x19 Ryan very clearly waiting for Marissa at her lifeguard stand

3x22 Every single scene of theirs is great but things I loved were Marissa asking about Ryan’s architecture lecture (ugh), their banter and awkwardness, and of course Marissa telling Ryan that she could see his happiness at Berkeley “I could see it on your face” and knowing he belonged there.

3x23 When he puts his arm around her at prom

3x24 “Can I buy you breakfast?” and their SMILES. The growth, the maturity, the clean slate. God, I love this scene SO much.

I’m gonna stop now because it’s 1:30am and I typed this gibberish 95% from memory in one sitting which means I know way too much about this show and this couple. Also you were probably expecting like 5 moments not 29 sorry!!

#ask #anonymous #ryan x marissa

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dreamingofscully · 5 years ago

Text

Momentum, Chapter 2

Read Chapter 1 Here

Rating: Mature (ch 1), Explicit (ch 2) Length: ~12k words Classification: M/S RST, Angst, Post-Ep for En Ami and spoilers through Chimera and all things Summary: Scully’s choices lead to some unintended consequences for herself and her relationship with Mulder.

Thank you to my betas! @sarie-fairy @scullyeffect and @o6666666 for the machete betas and @suitablyaggrieved @starbuckthirteen and @unhappybrthday for the feedback.

Tagging @today-in-fic and @kega-umi.

(Read on AO3)

***

SATURDAY FBI HEADQUARTERS

As Scully arrives at their office, she flicks off Mulder’s music, annoyed that she’s been working all morning while he’s been here having a good time without her. “Oh, bring me some lunch on your way over, Scully.” Sure, can I grab your dry cleaning, too?

When he first mentions crop circles she tunes him out, irritated at his assumption that she had nothing better to do on the weekend than run off with him to chase aliens or monsters or, in this case, mathematically-brilliant farmers. She’s tired of waiting for him and can’t make herself care about a nebulous case even if it’s better than being ignored and forgotten.

A few weeks ago she would have enjoyed spending a weekend with Mulder in England, distracting him from the case for a few hours here and there. But they weren’t lovers anymore, just estranged colleagues sidestepping the one topic they needed to address. Spending an extended and awkward period of time in his company, with no chance to escape, is an unbearable idea.

After the pointless “serial killer” case this past week she’d been just as guilty of avoiding him. He even brought her breakfast one morning but she didn’t meet his eyes, afraid of what she’d see in them, or what she wouldn’t. It was easier to pretend and hope than confront the finality of his decision.

When he tells her he bought plane tickets for them, she shoots him down immediately, not seeing any other option to preserve her sanity. He looks at her like he’s hoping she’ll change her mind, then speaks again.

“I'll just cancel your ticket.” He looks like he wants to say something else, but instead he takes a single bite of his sandwich and heads for the door. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Mulder…” Scully waits for him to look back at her. “Look, we're always running. We're always chasing the next big thing. Why don't you ever just stay still?”

Why won’t he talk to me?

“I wouldn't know what I'd be missing.”

Disappointment is etched in the set of his shoulders as he disappears from view. The idea she’s let him down tugs at her heart, but is quickly replaced by the relief at not having to worry about being around him. The fact that she’s relieved to be away from him causes her mood to sink even further. When has it ever been the case that she’s been more happy away from him rather than the opposite?

*** LATER THAT DAY WASHINGTON NATIONAL HOSPITAL

“I know how difficult it must have been for you... just walking through that door but you wouldn't have come if you didn't want to and that says something, doesn't it?” - Daniel

His words affect her deeply. The touch from another that Scully’s craved for weeks catches her off-balance. His tenderness reminds her of what she misses, but is it the man or the feelings she craves?

It’s serendipitous. If she’d been given the correct patient file or she’d chosen to go to the hospital at a different time, she would never have known he was there. And the timing. She has no idea where she stands with Mulder and she’s losing patience waiting for him to decide one way or another.

Maybe he’s already chosen but I can't admit it to myself.

Daniel was a man she once loved so fiercely, at such a different time in her life. He still held strong feelings for her, spoke of her memory like it was a treasured thing. Even though he disapproved of the choices she made long ago, he remembers her fondly. It’s exhilarating to be regarded with affection after being starved of it for so long.

Was this a sign I should move on?

She remembers the advice Missy gave her when she decided to leave medicine and pursue her career in the FBI. Her almost-affair with Daniel was something she was reluctant to speak about to anyone, feeling guilty for loving a married man. Regardless, she told her sister everything, like always. Missy didn’t know Daniel but she didn’t like the way Scully said he talked to her, or that he was so insistent on breaking his marriage vows to be with a much younger student. Scully didn’t agree with her on the first, but she did on the latter. The trust she had in her sister made it easier to move on and leave him behind.

Was Missy wrong back then?

***

“You've come at such a strange time.” - Scully

Daniel’s focus is razor-sharp and in his eyes she only sees herself.

“I know, I know. You-you have a life.” She can tell he hopes her new life doesn’t include a significant other. She’s not sure what’s true any more.

“I don't know what I have.” She thinks about the interminable silence from Mulder, not knowing what he wants or what their future holds. The small things that brought her here now of all times. “I mean... your x-rays were in the wrong envelope. I never would have even known you were here if it wasn't for a mix-up. It's just…”

“What do you want, Dana?” It seems like so long since someone’s been concerned with what she wants, even herself. The words take her by surprise.

“I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I want the life I didn't choose.”

It was devastating to get a taste of intimacy with Mulder only to have it turn to ashes. She thought she knew what she wanted, but maybe she didn’t. Here was a path placed in front of her, the chance to choose something she denied herself so long ago. She was tired of denying herself happiness.

She’s interrupted by the irregular heartbeat of the former love of her life. She molds back into the person she’s comfortable with, the doctor, and acts in order to save him. Thoughts, dangerous; actions, familiar and comforting.

*** LATER THAT NIGHT SCULLY'S APARTMENT

Scully doesn’t get much sleep that night. She tosses and turns, unable to relax after the day’s tumultuous events. Her mind is a whirl of confusing and conflicting emotions. The juxtaposition of Daniel against Mulder. One completely devoted to her while the other seems indifferent. Maybe she could have the life she wanted with Daniel but, more importantly, she feels certain about what a future with him would look like. The unknown path lying ahead with Mulder frightens her. She has never been good with not knowing, with not having things planned out.

She used her skills as a doctor to save Daniel. The practicality of having the knowledge and expertise to do something useful feels like a security blanket. For years now she’s been delving into uncharted territory - seeing things she can’t explain. The idea that science doesn’t hold all the answers makes her feel small and inadequate. Leaving that behind for the comfort of medicine and Daniel’s love was very appealing.

After waking and consuming two cups of strong coffee, Scully gets the urge to visit Colleen but she’s not sure why. Her house felt warm and comforting and she regrets the way she acted that night. She has a few questions but nothing that couldn't be answered by a phone call. Needing to experience her presence again, she drives there anyway.

Suddenly the thought comes to her that Colleen reminds her so strongly of Missy. The thought causes a sudden flood of emotion to rise within her and she has to pause before getting out of the car. She’d just recently been thinking of how much she wanted her sister to help her think through her issues with Mulder. Compared to Missy, Scully feels woefully inadequate when it comes to dealing with her emotions. Her sister flitted from partner to partner, dealing with heartbreak and love easily and fully. It was something Scully had always envied. When her feelings for Mulder deepened to a point she couldn't deny anymore, she longed for her advice and comfort.

Scully steels herself as Colleen answers the door, pushing aside the memories and longing for her sister. She prepares herself with more practical questions about her current predicament. Scully doesn’t need help, Daniel does, and she has a vague sense that Colleen could steer her in the right direction. Something keeps driving her to trust her instincts when it comes to this woman, perhaps she should finally listen to them.

*** SUNDAY

“When we hold onto shame and guilt and fear it creates imbalance, makes us forget who we are.” - Colleen

Colleen’s words repeat themselves over and over in Scully’s mind. She moves away from thoughts about herself, directing them to Daniel. Despite leaving before starting an affair with him, his marriage was ruined and his daughter traumatized. Scully had moved on, but he’d lived with thoughts only of her for ten years.

The idea that he’d been so close for so long had meant to make her feel cherished but it only made her uncomfortable. When she’d been abducted he’d been in the same city, working in a hospital while Mulder searched endlessly for her. When Mulder was holding her hair back when she was sick during chemo, Daniel was impressing a new group of students with his brilliance. And when Mulder held her close during her baseball lesson and they finally took the next step in their relationship, Daniel was thinking about her, ignoring his family.

Perhaps Daniel was put in her life again for a reason. Maybe she should take a chance. He was here now and he loved her. She found comfort in his solid presence and the reminder of her former self, so sure of her science. She pushes away thoughts of Mulder, of the guilt and hopelessness from these past few weeks. A sudden ache blooms in her chest and she presses a hand to her sternum to contain it.

She vacillates for a few moments before making a decision, walking towards Daniel’s room with the flowers she’d purchased on a whim. Instead of breezing in his room and matching his smile with an equal one from herself, she’s greeted with news about Daniel’s worsening health.

Unsure of herself, she leaves the hospital, follows her instincts, and has a vision. The black heart - he’d been poisoning himself. The need to heal him, to bring him back regardless of what he would think or want overwhelms her practicality. If she could heal him, make him see what he was doing to himself, he would get better. Her medicine didn’t help, so it was time to trust in something else.

*** MONDAY

She doesn’t even think about what’s happening until it’s done. It felt so natural to utilize something so separate from her beloved science. She just let go and put her trust in the unknown, her instincts screaming at her that it was the right thing to do before her brain could catch up. Missy would be proud. She hopes it’s not too late to share these things with Mulder, that he’ll still care enough to appreciate the distance she’s traveled these past few days.

When she heads home from the hospital, her thoughts turn inward. She realizes now that the woman Daniel obsessed over is a barely recognizable ghost of her current self. Her gradual transition into the person she is now seems sudden and dramatic when she sees herself through Daniel’s eyes.

She wouldn’t have known she wasn’t the same person if she hadn’t seen him again.

Ever since the beginning of her work on the X-Files she’s been in denial of the things she’s experienced. It wasn’t until Antarctica that her refusal to acknowledge what she saw affected her relationship with Mulder and nearly drove him away. It wasn’t just about him or their relationship, but about herself. Her fear surrounding what she’s become and her stubbornness to resist change even in the face of unquantifiable proof.

She justified it as needing to balance Mulder’s penchant for believing anything, to ground him and keep him honest, as he told her himself. Her outright denial was dangerously untruthful. She realizes now how harmful her actions have been. The contradiction of being so unreasonably skeptical in the face of things she sees with her own eyes and then putting her trust in Spender’s words, despite the mountain of evidence pointing to his treacherous nature. The mistake she made was singular, but with all their history, must have been completely devastating for Mulder.

If they can see past this rift in their relationship, Scully knows things have to change. She’ll never believe everything she sees or hears without careful consideration or evidence, but she owes it to herself, to Mulder, to stop letting science blind her. She’s always tried to guide him to be more critical of his beliefs and not trust the first thing that comes into his head. He’s come a long way in the time she’s known him. Why should it be so hard for her to do the same?

A calmness settles over her at these revelations. She sees the path laid out in front of her, as clear as the sidewalk she sits beside. Her thoughts, like a warm blanket, settle over her, comforting her more than the sun’s rays hitting her back. She’ll always carry a little bit of her sister within her, and this makes her feel more like herself than she has in a long, long time.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the blonde-haired woman in the cap for the fourth time during these past few days. Hoping to finally figure out what she has to do with the strange occurrences she’s been experiencing, Scully rushes to catch her. When she spins the figure around, it’s Mulder. She smiles widely, recognizing the path leading to Mulder, with him. The choices she’s made all along. Of course he’d be here now, so she offers to make him tea. She’s ready to open up to him, she owes him that. She owes it to herself.

*** LATER THAT DAY MULDER'S APARTMENT

Scully doesn’t speak about their relationship or about Spender, but it’s an unspoken thread that weaves through the story she tells Mulder. Her past, what she saw, what she finally believes. It’s enough to have him here listening to her, looking at her with wonder instead of indifference. Is it affection or an accident when he grazes his fingers along her own, as they sip their tea?

She lets the rumbling monotone of his voice lull her to sleep. The tension fades from her body, making her curl towards his warmth as she fades into unconsciousness.

Hours later, she treads to his bedroom and watches him from the doorway. A wave of tenderness washes over her as she gazes at his sleeping form. He’s lying on his side of the bed, one leg wrapped in his thin yellow pajamas splayed outside of the covers, the planes of his bare chest half covered by the sheet, his strong muscled arms resting on either side of him.

Taking a chance, desperate to maintain their connection, she lays her jacket on the corner of the bed. Inhaling a shaky breath, she wavers tentatively, not sure about whether she should presume she’d be welcome. Their conversation a few hours ago reminded her of where they used to be, but they have yet to speak of where they are, what their future holds.

"Mulder?" she whispers, her voice sleep-roughened and hesitant.

She can tell he hadn’t been fully asleep. He sits up slightly on one elbow and reaches his hand out towards her.

She approaches with a tremulous smile and stands beside him, twining her fingers through his. Mulder wraps his other arm around her hip, draws her closer and nuzzles his face into her stomach. She feels she's come home.

"Mulder... the right choice, the only choice, is us." She brushes her hand through his hair and leans over to kiss the top of his head.

“C’mere, Scully,” Mulder says, pulling her towards the bed. The awkwardness of their embrace results in a stumbling maneuver that somehow ends with her halfway beneath him, their legs tangled together. She chuckles and caresses the rough, stubbly skin along his jaw.

“I wasn’t sure…” Scully’s not clear how much to reveal but, finding newfound confidence in her recent self-awareness and their time together tonight, pushes on. “...you wanted this.”

He moves a lock of her hair behind her ear, strokes her cheek tenderly. "When I wanted to go to England with you, it wasn’t just a case. I hoped a change of scenery would help me...." he searches for the words, “tell you what you mean to me, that I was sorry for being such an ass lately. That I am very, very sorry.”

“I had no idea.” Tears form in her eyes, regret at how she misinterpreted his disinterest. Replaying the scene in her mind she sees it now. He’d been acting so different that day until she shot him down. They were always unintentionally hurting each other, too afraid to voice their thoughts, afraid of rejection.

“Well, it’s good you didn’t come. You had some pretty incredible things happen here.”

Mulder looks at her closely, the familiar expression of his mind working, taking a dangerous path. Moving to lay on his side, he puts some distance between them.

“I haven’t been myself these past few weeks. Things have been… difficult.” Mulder looks away from her, resting his head on the pillow next to hers. He reaches out, his hand tentatively brushing against her shoulder.

“I know what I did was--” Scully starts to apologize but Mulder stops her, putting his thumb on her mouth and shaking his head.

“I went to a dark place... but I’ve been heading there for a while. I never really thought I deserved you, or the happiness we had together. I just used what you did as an excuse to drive you away.” Mulder takes a deep breath. “I’ve been talking to someone. She’s been helping me. I - I... don’t want to push you away any more.”

“Mulder... you deserve to be happy. We deserve this.” Scully moves closer to him, reaches out and places her hands on the side of his face to emphasize her words.

“I’m working on it. You make me believe, Scully.” He smiles, but there’s still sadness and regret reflected in his eyes. “I just need some extra help.”

Scully nods, touches her forehead to his and they take a few moments to just breathe together, side-by-side. She pulls away and waits for his eyes to open and look at her before speaking.

“We can’t keep doing this.” Scully bites her lip, brushes her hand through his hair. “Not talking. It doesn’t work anymore.”

Mulder nods and squeezes her shoulder.

"And… I want to be truer to myself. Can you help me with that?"

“Yeah. I can do that.”

Scully moves her hand to his chest, tracing a line over his pectoral and across his ribcage to the lean musculature of his back. She grazes her nails to one side of his spine, wanting to comfort, needing to touch. She drops her gaze to his smooth, coppery skin, overwhelmed by his closeness, the smell and feel of him next to her. A tingling sensation low in her belly spreads to warm her chest. Despite the desire building within her, she’s gentle instead of demanding, wanting to give him solace if that’s all he needs from her tonight.

As she meets his gaze again, the somber look has disappeared. His eyes are dilated, irises deep green and filled with desire, always exciting her with their intensity when he directs his gaze towards her. Suddenly he’s above her again, his eyes shadowed in the dark room, the glints of moonlight highlighting the strength of his jawline, the curve of his clavicle. She presses her thumb along the length of the elegant bone, her fingers over the muscles of his shoulder and neck, lightly grazing over his chin and finally his lips.

“Trapezius. Sternocleidomastoid. Orbicularis oris,” she whispers, centering herself as she touches him. Her eyes follow her fingers, absorbing the details she was so afraid she’d forget, trying to regain some semblance of control as her desire threatens to overwhelm her.

“You sure do know how to talk dirty to a guy, Scully.” His voice is low and gravelly and he angles his head into her touch. When she sees the affection reflected at her in his eyes, she's suddenly struck by the force of her devotion to this man. That they are here, again.

Their faces inch closer until their mouths are barely touching, a feathery kiss that makes her shiver and her eyes flutter closed. His hand grazes along her arm and shoulder to the nape of her neck, through the hair at the base of her skull while his other hand moves to caress the side of her breast, teasing her with his closeness. Their kiss deepens, tongues tangling against each other as the tenderness of their embrace builds into something more urgent. Twining her hands through his hair, Scully draws him closer. She’s missed him, missed this. She feels absolutely greedy with her want for him, not holding back now that she knows he wants this, too.

With his teasing hand, he reaches under her sweater and cups the swell of her breast through the satin of her bra, flicks the hardened peak of her nipple with his thumb. She moans softly at his touch, rolling him over and straddling him.

She speaks into his mouth, not wanting to break the contact of their kiss. "Mmm, clothes…" She wants to feel her skin against his length, wants him to devour her whole. She can’t wait a second longer.

Mulder’s hands move down her torso, pausing at the hem of her sweater. He wraps them entirely around her waist, sliding upwards. Scully takes over and whips the garment over her head and in the general direction of her jacket. Pulling her down, he kisses a trail from her neck to the fringe of lace covering her breasts. She gasps and moves closer, stroking her palms over his pectorals and reaching upwards to grip his shoulders. Sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth, her eyes flicker closed as Mulder’s mouth continues over the swell of her breast. He curves his tongue around her areola, skimming around her nipple through the thin material as his hand seeks her other breast, massaging and kneading. His other hand glides down to grip her hip, dipping his thumb slightly underneath the edge of her skirt before cupping and squeezing her ass.

She’s on fire. Her skirt has hitched up to the top of her thighs and she thinks he must feel how wet she is already, even through the layers of clothing she still wears. Too many clothes. As if reading her mind, his hand caressing her breast moves around and deftly unhooks the clasp of her bra. He breaks from his suckling to remove her bra, grinning proudly up at her. Scully chuckles and leans over, giving him a teasing nip on his lower lip as his hands glide down her sides to search for the zipper of her skirt.

“Side,” she says and moves off of him onto her back. Lifting her hips after he unzips her, she helps him slip off her skirt. She watches as he moves off the bed to carefully lay it on her jacket. He finds her sweater lying precariously on the edge of the chair in his room and takes the time to unravel it and lay it neatly on her pile of clothes as well.

“Mulderrr…” Scully exhales, poking his bare ribcage with a stockinged toe impatiently.

“You’ll thank me later.”

He winks at her, standing by the bed, his darkened eyes sweeping over her languid form. Reaching for her waist again, he removes her pantyhose, taking her panties along with them. These he discards on the floor and she sighs as his gentle hands caress the bare skin of her legs. Grabbing her ankles, he pulls her to the edge of the bed, kneels down before her. Kisses the arch of her foot, the delicate bones of her ankle, the curve of her calf and the swell of her thigh, starting over again with the other leg - licking, nipping, soothing. Achingly slowly.

“So good, Scully.” His eyes connect with hers briefly before he lays his cheek against the top of her thigh, breathing her in, the scent of her arousal heavy in the air. He continues, nuzzling his face against her mons. Such a gentle touch but igniting a powerful flood of pleasure within her. Kneeling up, he presses his tongue to the skin at the joint of her thigh, slicks upwards and swirls around her navel, lingering on the sensitive sucking the skin below. Rising up on his elbows and looking into her eyes, he smiles contentedly.

He drags his fingertips over her hip to the curve of her waist, the side of her breast, running down her arm to clasp his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. She smiles at him affectionately, her chest heaving with anticipation.

He tears his eyes from hers and his head dips down between her legs. His other hand wraps around her thigh, cradling her to him as he nuzzles the delicate skin there, pressing tender kisses along each one. He lowers his head and his tongue drifts along the edge of her outer lips, a touch that ignites a fire deep within, spreading to the edges of her awareness. She moans softly and her free hand meanders to her breasts, caressing and squeezing her nipples, a counterpoint to his movements below.

After teasing his way in, he increases the pressure of his tongue. Using the flat of it to swipe upwards, circling around her clit and sucking lightly. He pushes inside her and swirls before rhythmically kissing and licking her folds, increasing his speed before slowing to a near pause. He relinquishes her hand, inserting one, then two fingers into her, curling upwards and stroking her g-spot. The indescribable feeling of pressure and warmth blooms upwards and outwards, causing her fingers to tingle and her toes to curl. His hand around her thigh moves to her hip and caresses back again, an exquisite loop she focuses on, willing herself to hold on and enjoy this moment for as long as possible.

The ache inside her builds as he nips and licks, caressing her just how she likes. She manages to lean up on an arm to look at him, needing to see him there, reassuring herself that this isn’t just another dream. His head peeks up from between her legs, watching her with a mirrored expression of desire as she touches her breasts. His chin is glistening with her wetness and his smile glints at her in the moonlight.

“You’re so… fucking… sexy... Scully.” Mulder punctuates his words with a few more curls of his fingers inside her, making her writhe and touch herself with increasing intensity. Still watching her carefully, he removes his fingers and puts them in his mouth, moaning as he tastes her.

“Jesus, Mulder…” Scully groans, laying back, breathing heavily.

He moves back down, his warm breath causing goosebumps to rise on the skin of her inner thighs and lips, teasing her again, drawing out her pleasure. As he increases his movements, she feels her orgasm build, the tell-tale feeling like she’s about to overflow with sensation. He sucks her clit with the perfect pressure, runs his tongue up and around her lips, before sweeping over the skin above her clitoris, swollen with need. And that’s what sends her off the edge. The sensitive nerves throb, her inner walls contract, and she sees the universe behind her eyelids.

She never remembers what she says when she comes but she can always count on Mulder’s twinkling eyes, proud and affectionate, to recount the details later. Usually expletives and some form of religious heresy but always, always “Mulder, Mulder, Mulder”.

As she comes back to herself, she feels the gentle caress of his hands on her outer thighs, his scratchy cheek resting on the sensitive flesh of her belly. He’s watching her with an awestruck expression, a half-smile making him look boyish and happy. She wants to give him this all the time just to see his face, the rest of it a bonus.

She wriggles herself up the bed, beckons him with her hands. After discarding his pajama bottoms on the floor, he moves onto the bed beside her, grazes his fingers along her side and kisses a trail up her torso. He pauses at her breasts, cupping them tenderly in his palms. Taking one taut nipple in his mouth and suckling gently, her desire flares up sharply once more. He nips gently, then places delicate kisses over to the other breast, giving it equal attention. His attentions are leisurely, all-consuming, and Scully only wants more.

“Oh, Mul--” her breath catches. “Mulder, yes...”

He releases her nipple and looks at her, grinning broadly, stroking her breasts and giving them a sweet kiss on each rosy tip before moving up to embrace her, settling himself beside her tingling body. He presses gente kisses along her neck, trailing upwards to her face, soothing her warmed flesh with gentle grazes of his fingers and the tips of his nails. His hands move to the hair at her temple, slick with sweat, and he tenderly presses his lips along her hairline.

“Love you.” Scully sighs, wanting him close, to make him feel as good as she does.

“You’re just saying that because…” He traces the outline of her ear and sucks on her earlobe, tapping her earring in a familiar pattern.

“Mmm yeah, you’re right.” She grins at him and reaches down to swat his ass. She runs her hand along the firm skin there, squeezing, then moves around to grasp his cock.

Mulder gasps at her touch, suddenly frozen and certainly not the one in charge. She looks down between them, loving the contrast of her pale skin next to his muscled, coppery torso, her small hand grasping his thick, hard erection. She swirls upwards, using her thumb to coat his fluid along his length. Releasing him briefly, she pushes him on his back and rakes her gaze over his naked body. His muscled chest with its sexy patch of soft hair, his defined abs, his thick hard cock - all hers. She wets her lips and leans down, licking him from base to tip with the flat of her tongue, humming contentedly, warmth spreading from her groin when he moans. She swirls her tongue around the head and is about to take him in when his hands grasp her shoulders, stopping her.

“Not… ah, not tonight, Scully.” His voice is strangled and he’s panting already.

She smiles widely, knowing that with barely a touch, his own ministrations on her give him almost as much pleasure as it does her. She releases him and traces her hands along the length of his ribcage, grazing the tips of her fingernails over his skin, pausing to brush over the peaks of his nipples.

As Scully continues her meandering course over his body with fingers and tongue, Mulder slides upwards on the bed, starting to pull away from her. Before moving away he grabs her hands in his, squeezing them and bringing them to his mouth for a tender kiss. Their eyes lock, an understanding passes between them that sends a thrill up her spine.

Mulder reaches around and arranges the pillows behind him as she sits up on her knees. He turns towards her and sits on the bed cross-legged in front the cushions, beckoning her with a crooked, sexy smile and a gentle touch to her arm.

She kneels around him, straddling him, hovering over his cock. She reaches up within herself for some lubrication, coating him before she guides him to her entrance. Mulder’s hands brace her hips, his forehead presses against hers as they anticipate this moment. Their eyes connect as she settles his full length inside her with one fluid motion. Finally.

Scully’s stretched to the point where pain mixes indescribably with pleasure. She feels like he fills her up from head to toe--she’s never been more complete. Her eyes close, the emotions welling up from her chest threatening to spill over.

After what feels like eternity and a singular moment, she opens her eyes, Mulder’s face mere inches from hers. His right arm is holding her close, wrapping around her back, his hand coming to rest at the nape of her neck, surrounding her with his warmth. In his close embrace, she feels secure, protected.

“Hey.” Mulder smiles slightly, a wonder and shyness to his expression she wasn’t expecting.

“Hey, yourself.” Scully giggles softly, enjoys that she can look directly into his eyes from this position, that it’s so easy for them to kiss each other. As she presses her hand against his chest, she feels his heart beating wildly, matching her own. Their breaths coming in soft pants. Their lips touch gently, and they begin to move.

The intense feeling of his cock thrusting urgently within her is such a contrast to his gentle hand caressing her back, grazing the shell of her ear, the curve of her cheek, the soft skin of her neck. It’s her undoing, this duality of the man she loves - his intense passion and aching sweetness. She gasps as she kisses him, her desperation rising alongside her impending orgasm once more.

His mouth on hers, teeth clashing, lips pulling, tongues pushing and exploring. He tastes like her and like him, the mingling of their togetherness a unique flavor that she nearly forgot these past weeks. She gasps at the familiarity of this moment. Tears well in her eyes, fall down her cheeks and she licks the saltiness from her lips.

Mulder’s hand moves up to cup her cheek, brushing the moisture away with his thumb, he looks into her eyes, concern and love etched into their golden-green depths.

“You okay, Scully?” He stills her movements, caresses her neck and shoulders with his other hand.

“Mmm…” She has trouble forming words, so she smiles widely, bites down on her swollen lower lip and nods her head. She grasps the strong muscles of his shoulder and neck, and moves once again, faster this time, desperate for release. Her mouth latches onto his, sloppily lapping and sucking at his lower lip.

Scully feels the burning in her thighs at the effort of their lovemaking and she adjusts slightly. Mulder laps at the sweat gathered along her brow, kisses along her throat, the side of her neck. When he nips at the sensitive place behind her ear a jolt of pleasure causes her to shudder and moan.

He starts to take control, to thrust deeper as her movements become jerky and uncoordinated, his hands moving to her hips to guide and lift her.

“Love you.” He whispers into her ear, his warm breath tickling her there. He grunts, his voice strained and she can tell he’s trying to hold back, to make things last, to get her to fall again before he follows.

“Oh, God..” Scully can feel the rising tide of her release radiating outwards, her awareness laser focused on the feel of them moving together. One of his hands moves between them to rub her clit at their joined flesh. He thrusts sharply a few times, hitting the spot within her perfectly. And then she’s gone, seeing sparks beneath her eyelids, and a fluttering wave rise from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Mulder’s arms brace her as she rides out the contractions lost in his arms, floating in a sea of ecstasy expanding around her.

His breath soothes her flushed skin as she comes down. He’s whispering words of endearment that don’t quite connect with her brain, but his tone floods her chest with warmth.

He lays her gently on her back, leaning over her while she quivers and comes back to herself. His solid body pressed against her grounds her in the present, and she nuzzles into his neck, wrapping her arms around him to keep him close, feeling thick and heavy after her orgasm. When he pulls away slightly, she opens her eyes. Leaning on an elbow, he’s gazing at her and moving the sweat-slicked strands of hair away from her face. She smiles contentedly at him, lazily drawing patterns on the smooth planes of his bicep.

He grins back, but this time it’s his eyes that are filled with the tinge of desperation. His eyes close and she embraces him, encouraging him with her caress. Nestled between her thighs, he begins to thrust again, her palms splayed over his upper back, feeling the flexion of his movement. Her nails graze his torso with a feathering touch. She presses her nose into the hollow of his neck, breathing deeply. The unique fragrance of their sweat and arousal conjures up memories of their many times together before this night. It feels historic and familiar all at once.

She lifts her legs to twine around his waist. He grabs one of her legs, lifting it, letting him penetrate deeper. The weight of him on top of her, the sound of their bodies coming together, surrounds her completely. Wanting to give him as much pleasure as he’s given her, she clenches her inner muscles, tugs at his hair, nips and suckles the warm skin of his shoulder.

“Sc-Scully…” he chokes out her name before one, two, three thrusts and he finds his release, his mouth on top of hers in a sloppy kiss as he comes. He pumps a few more times before carefully collapsing on his side, drawing her on top of him.

Scully nuzzles into his chest, listening to the slowing rhythm of his heartbeat. She wraps her arms tightly around him, wanting to hold onto this moment, this homecoming of theirs for as long as possible. When she feels his heart rate return to normal, he goes to move, to get something to clean them up but she doesn’t let him out of her embrace.

“Stay.” She kisses his neck, tasting the salty tang of his sweaty skin. “Stay.”

Mulder caresses her back, his hand moves to the nape of her neck and through her hair. He kisses her more firmly, holds her tighter.

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?”

Scully smiles at him, chuckling softly under her breath.

“No, I can’t,” she says, eyes twinkling.

She kisses him deeply, her hand caressing his hair. She breaks their kiss and looks into his eyes. His expression is unreadable and she feels a lurch in her chest. Her thumb moves over his bottom lip, traces its plush curve.

Mulder kisses her thumb, grasps her wrist so he can place tender kisses on each of her digits. She can sense him trying to think of what to say and, for a moment, she doubts herself.

He looks at her and there’s a sorrowful hesitance in his eyes. It reminds her of his words from before - how he’s unsure of himself. She wishes she could rid him of his doubts by reminding him of his worth, but knows it couldn’t be quite that simple.

“Remember, no hiding.” Scully reaches out and cups his cheek, reassuring him with a smile. A thousand words pass between their gazes and she sees Mulder’s expression soften, a small smile finally gracing his lips. She nuzzles the skin below his jaw and sighs, relieved.

“Find me if I do, Scully.” Mulder whispers into her ear, trails his hand along her back.

Once their bodies cool, Mulder ventures into the bathroom, returns with warm cloths to clean them up and a glass of water for them to share. His tender care, his focus on her pleasure, how could she ever doubt his love for her? His eyes tell her everything she needs to know, gazing at her with the love she thought she’d lost.

He wraps them in his light duvet and holds her close, gently tracing patterns on her shoulder. Scully buries herself in his chest, sighing contentedly at his closeness.

“So, uh… seriously, Scully. I’m wondering if I should stick around more, you only seem to experience strange things when I’m not around. Feel like I’m missing out.” His voice is teasing but she hears the vulnerability hidden between his words.

She leans up to look at him, kisses his lips and meets his eyes with a serious expression.

“I’d be okay with that.”

“Yeah?” Mulder brushes his thumb over her cheek.

“Definitely.” They both grin widely, finally acknowledging to each other what they want, what they both need. Pressing her face close to his, she kisses his cheek and jaw before laying back down.

Mulder kisses the top of her head, sweeps his hand through her hair. His touch slows and stops, his breathing even out, but she stays, just a little while longer.

There’s things still left unsaid, but that can wait until tomorrow. Despite the fear she feels about fully exposing herself to him, she’s eager to take this next step with him into their future.

She’ll have to leave before morning and she feels strangely regretful about it. Usually after an evening together, and always on a work night, they would leave before dawn. They would return to their empty apartments by themselves, not wanting to let their independent lives be disrupted by their intimacy. But things feel different now, like they're locked together, united even closer than before. She’s been denying herself so much by trying to hold onto the person she was. Things must change, within herself and between them, and for the first time Scully is at peace with it.

#xf fanfic #my fic #msr #mulder and scully #xfiles #x-files #msr fanfic #todayinfic

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