#i always feel like my stuff is very Not Good and then i talk to the void and the void talks back

[antimony-medusa]

But what do you MEAN this fic where blorbo gets mind controlled might be kinky?

So I am kind of famous for saying that this fandom has a lot of untagged kinks and I get people in my notes pretty regularly going YES I"M BEGGING YOU TAG IT or YOU"RE DERANGED THIS IS PLATONIC, etc. Lots of strong emotions. But I also get people who are going uh, I knew something was going on, but I couldn't really identify it— what do you mean exactly? What kinks are you seeing?

So, this post is breaking down things I've seen and how in some cases, they start to cross the line into kink territory. These are all things that were being done platonically— no dicks were out, everybody's clothes were on (in most cases, not always with the dehumanization tropes)— but the focus of the narrative started to place special weight on specific features, experiences, or concepts— there were extended paragraphs that served no narrative purpose except to dwell on something— in a way that I started to go "the point of this fic is the squiggly feeling the author or reader gets on reading about this specific setup— this is getting kinky". And that is fine, I am not placing any moral weight on engaging in kinks— people just get wired sometimes to really like the concept of bondage— but a) sometimes it would be nice to get a heads up as a reader, b) if you like these things— there are tags out there that are FULL of this concept, you might like to do it or search it out on purpose.

So I asked some friends what things have they found in platonic fics that they went "ah. yeah. something is happening here", and this post is the result. A lot of these things don't exist in the real world or people don't necessarily want them to happen in the real world/to them, so it's understandable that a person can miss how they'd started to morph and become something new. But when we talk about kink in fiction we're often talking about things that either can't or we don't want to happen in real life, it's just that reading about them/writing them scratches our brain.

And also, to be clear, in no way do I mean that if you've written these concepts then you definitely have been writing kink. There are vanilla ways to do all of these concepts, and sometimes the idea of dehumanization is interesting to you from a narrative standpoint, for example. You can also engage with them in a non-sexual way— many ace people are very kinky— so I'm not saying that you've secretly been writing porn OR writing something you have a real desire to happen to you. Just to make that clear. However, if you keep coming back to a specific setup for writing or reading, it might be worth investigating if certain things scratch your brain in a specific way.

So.

Blorbo gets mind controlled and there's a detailed breakdown of their descent into this altered state and then they're just so biddable and out of it and vulnerable and the narrative places weight either on someone taking advantage of them in this state, taking care of them, or their own subjective experience having lost control: this is hypnokink. Hypnokink or mind control— lots of ways to do it, but there is a thriving hypnosis or hypnokink scene that you might want to look into. Sometimes this is played for horror, but even the horror stuff can be kinky if played in a certain way. This falls under a larger umbrella of "altered states" that is very popular.

Blorbo gets drugged/intoxicated, often against their will, and heavy narrative weight is placed on their experience while drunk/drugged and unable to control themselves or conceptualize what is happening: this is intox kink. Another altered state— and again this is sometimes used for horror, but even the horror can give you the special tinglies if the dread is mixed with something.

Blorbo is turned into a vampire or taken by a vampire, gets drunk from or drinks blood, and there's specific narrative focus on how good the blood tastes, blood from a wound trickling down over someone's body and maybe being licked up, a hunger being sated— so vampires are a longstanding trope that can be done in a strictly horror way, but a LOT of vampire tropes are deeply kinky along the ideas of possession, loss of bodily autonomy, fear/desire, and consumption. This, for example, I have definitely read dipping into bloodplay or consumption kink. Sometimes blood drinking scenes are directly metaphorical for sex, including narrative tension building to a release where someone feels so good, but also there are other elements, such as a focus on blood that gets kinky.

Blorbo has wings that get preened, and it feels so good they can't hold back instinctive movements and sounds (maybe bird sounds) and they're so grateful and bond so much with the person doing it with them— This is wing kink. This is actually the first trope in this fandom that I identified that some things were happening with, because I was reading these fics that had been recommended to me as family fluff going— am I crazy or is something else happening here? Wingfic has been broadly used as a platonic/familial trope in this fandom, however, the structure of the scenes in which it is written about sometimes has heavy crossover with wingfic in other fandoms, where they are using it as a smut trope— the fic just didn't have anyone literally orgasm at the end. But if there's involuntary sounds or movement from the person with the wings, a focus on how pleasurable it feels, a feeling of release or rightness that someone gives the person with wings, and then they cuddle afterwards— yeah.

Blorbo is terrified and chased by a monster of some kind, with a heavy focus on how frightened they are, how inexorable the monster is, and something bad going to happen, and/or the monster chasing them enjoying their terror— this can just be horror. OR it can be fear play or predator/prey. Sometimes it's both.

Blorbo is confronted by monsters (perhaps giants or aliens) who are much bigger than them and the threat of being eaten by them is narratively focused on, either bitten or swallowed whole. Sometimes in the narrative the eating happens, either safely or to their death— this is vore. Being eaten alive is also a horror trope so it isn't always vore, but it is sometimes most certainly vore.

Aliens or monsters/hybrids much bigger than blorbo have them as family/friends/romantic partners/captives: this is giant/tiny. Sometimes just a science fiction au but if there's a lot of weight being placed on how big they are and how small blorbo is, this could be g/t. Borrower aus can frequently start to fall into this category. If they're not THAT big but there's focus on things like "oh they can span my waist with one hand", this can be size kink, instead. (Note that to my knowledge the platonic version is giant/tiny and sexual is micro/macro— there's a thriving platonic scene I sometimes see when I'm cruising tags, so if you like this you might want to check that out.)

Blorbo is non-consensually touched, cuddled, or modified, and narrative focus is placed on this as a violation/outrage/loss of bodily autonomy: again, this is something that can just be a horror trope, but there is often a larger or smaller strain of consent issues in it. If blorbo doesn't want it at first but eventually feels at home in the nest and feels good, that's dubcon (dubious consent), and if they are fighting it and raging against it and will never be part of your family, that starts to overlap with noncon (non-consent). Blorbo's bodily autonomy is being non-consentually violated, which would put it under the consent issues umbrella. I think many people writing these tropes are simply focusing on captivity and bad things happening to blorbo— when one is a prisoner they automatically lose bodily autonomy, and I don't think that every fic set in a dungeon requires a consent issues tag— and additionally many people are writing from family settings that include bodily autonomy being violated (being forced to hug your aunt you don't want to hug, for example, is an example that many of us have experienced). Not every example of non-consensual touching is always consent issues. However, when the narrative focus is on the outrage and betrayal of it all, the loss of control, and/or the helplessness, this can start to serve a different narrative function in a story than simply illustrating that a family is touchy. I have read scenes that structurally function as a thinly-veiled metaphor for sexual assault, including things like blorbo being held down while they fight against what is being done to their body. Some of these could have used additional tagging. Note: because this is such a hot button topic I should mention that if you like writing or reading this I do not think that means you are a fan of violence happening in the real world— a) reading a bad thing happening on the page makes it containable and controllable in a way that the real world does not, people also like to read about murder and dismemberment— b) simply the presence of a happy ending tag on a fic contextualizes that the bad thing is something to be passed through in a way that again, the real world does not offer. This is a similar thing to torture, suicide, or slavery, where sometimes you want to see blorbo have a bad fictional time specifically in things that would be terrible in real life, and in your real life you do not condone police brutality or want these things to happen. Again, sometimes people like to read about people being eaten alive, and it does not mean they condone wolves on the streets.

Blorbo is captured by alien/fae and kept as a pet, sometimes kept in a cage or collared, unable to communicate with the people holding them: this is often tagged as dehumanization and it is that, but it also starts to contain elements of pet play. If there is an emphasis on having to eat pet food, be "trained" by their owner, leashing/collaring/crating— this may be pet play.

Adult or near-adult blorbo is adopted and take care of by a new dad who knows everything to keep them safe and loves them and can take care of them and they can just let go and be their new sonboy because Dad's got them: Right. So this is sometimes just someone writing a "wouldn't it be nice to be taken care of" fantasy. Sometimes this is Daddy kink. This is almost never tagged and in some cases that I have read it certainly deserves an additional tag. An adult Daddy or Mommy figure taking care of their adult Little who can just be taken care of and not worry is a d/s trope. In some cases, where you have an established adult with a job who gets taken by magical means who then finds their true home as a powerful being's new child where they don't have to worry about their former life and they mentally find comfort in their new role as sonboy, this may also be Caregiver/Little. Direct age regression (often written by people who experience it) is usually tagged appropriately, but narrative elements that nod to that while not actually being age regression, such as an adult being now treated as a child and the narrative presenting that as good, are remarkably common and often entirely untagged in certain tags/circles. If someone could look at your fic and expect adult peers and then this happens, you should consider tagging or phrasing your summary differently.

Blorbo has hybrid instincts that overcome their cognitive functioning and make them revert to an instinctive form such that they can only be calmed/soothed by another hybrid of a different type: now this at this point is basically its own trope and I am fascinated to see if this trope expands out of MCYT as people move to new fandoms. However, it shares a startling amount of overlap with omegaverse. One of the primary draws of omegaverse for many people is the biologically determined altered states and the fated-mates aspect, and hybrids reverting to instincts and needing particular care from a perfect family is often beat for beat things I've read in omegaverse, just platonic. When you have a biologically determined "protector" figure and a biologically determined "runt" whose job is to be taken care of and to submit to the protector, and this is required to calm the protector, it also has strong overlap with BDSM aus.

Blorbo is captured or contained and tied up, and narrative emphasis is placed on their experience of being bound and struggling against restraints or just how impossible to escape from the restraints are: this is bondage. I have had friends who are into this mention that they used to tie up their barbies as children, so again, as with all of these, this can be perfectly platonic— but something about that concept just seems particularly satisfying to the writer, perhaps it is more than just set dressing.

Blorbo is captured and there is strong emphasis on them being hurt or the waves of pain rolling over them as they are tortured: this is just an honourable whump trope, but a lot of whump tropes if handled in a specific way have strong crossover with BDSM. Lack of ability to move or restriction of senses, loss of control— or, as with this, an emphasis on pain or inflicting pain, which can cover sadism or masochism depending on our POV.

Blorbo is overwhelmed and only finds comfort in submitting to the authority of someone who they completely trust, whether because of past trauma or because of hybrid instincts: this is d/s, or domination/submission. If there's specific emphasis on allowing someone to take control finally makes blorbo's head go quiet, that's subspace.

Blorbo is marked or indicated as belonging to someone, either through something like an earring or a brand/tattoo or a magical mark, so that anyone who looks at them will know that they belong to someone: again, this can just be horror, but especially if it's framed as a good/satisfying thing, it also can contain strong crossover with BDSM, especially master/slave elements.

Blorbo is transformed and corrupted, often being bodily changed into a new form by aliens or fae or mobs: this is obviously body horror, but this can also be transformation kink. This is a narrative trope in SF and horror so someone can approach this completely innocently, but when handled in less of a horror way, it can take on other undertones. If there is a strong emphasis on the innocence and unprepared nature of blorbo before being changed into what someone wants them to be, this can be corruption kink as well.

Blorbo dresses up for a fancy event and there's emphasis on how specifically they look, or maybe blorbo is looking at someone else and thinking about how THEY look in their formalwear: sometimes this is just description and/or the author likes textiles. I have also read things where I think the author would get a lot of joy out of pursuing the formalwear kink tag.

Blorbo finally gets told that they did a good job and everyone is complimentary or a specific trusted figure is complimentary, they're appreciated and loved and good: sometimes this is just someone writing a fantasy of blorbo being appreciated. Sometimes this is praise kink. If blorbo is being held by their parent or mentor or trusted elder sibling who is telling them that they're good, everyone is wrong about them, they know that they're good, this could be praise kink.

Touch-starved blorbo finally is given good touch and they are overwhelmed and don't know how to handle it and it feels so good: I did even know this was a thing until I asked for examples, but a friend let me know that this falls under the "touch sensitive" or "sensation play" umbrella. If you have spent time in a touch-starved tag, you have almost definitely seen this.

Blorbo is overwhelmed and bursts into tears and either cries a lot or heavy narrative weight is placed on them crying at important moments when it all becomes too much: this is not always, but can certainly be, dacryphilia.

Blorbo fucks up and is made fun of by all their peers, placed on centre stage and just mercilessly mocked: sometimes you are just whumping the character, and sometimes this can be humiliation kink.

Blorbo is tickled. That's the whole scene/fic. Okay so you actually may know this if you cruise character tags, but tickling is a kink and there are several blogs devoted to it on this website. If the whole point of this scene is the tickling, the character losing control and being overwhelmed, the person doing it to them having them at their control— this may be the kink.

Blorbo just keeps sneezing at inopportune times, they keep losing control and can't keep themselves from being overwhelmed by this: this can be sneeze kink.

Blorbo has finally made it to safety, maybe after a time of privation and starvation, and then there's whole scenes with an emphasis on how much they eat, how full and round they're getting, maybe them eating to the point of getting sick, maybe burping, maybe them having difficulty moving because of how much they've eaten. Food as part of recovery or safety can just be a healing trope, and food as a metaphor for love and community is a favoured tag of many of us in the fandom, but if the emphasis is especially on the eating and the getting full, how full the person feels, how much they can eat— this could be feederism.

Blorbo is injured or killed and there's a huge emphasis on the wounds, dismemberment, focus on gore and how bad it is and how much they're coming to pieces: this can be guro. If the person dies at the end of it and there's emphasis on that, this can also be snuff. Or maybe it's just gore/MCD, but some fics and some scenes dwell on it in such a way that you start to ask if this is intended to be horror or if something else is happening.

Blorbo is dressed up beautifully and looks so good in their new outfit, maybe to the point that the person who dressed them doesn't want them to move, just sit and be admired: this can be dollification, or kinking specifically on being dressed.

Blorbo is going through a medical examination and specific focus is placed on the impersonal aspect, being manhandled or examined by tools or gloved hands, they are the somewhat-dehumanized medical subject of professionals: this is sometimes horror or dehumanization, but it can also be medical kink.

__

So. As you can see. There are a lot of possible kinks that can be handled in a platonic way, but this doesn't mean they aren't kinky. This isn't even everything possible, this is just what came up when I asked the group chat what they personally have seen where they feel that a platonic fic could have used additional tagging.

I am not saying that any of this is wrong to be interested in these kinks, either. People get wired a lot of different ways and sometimes you just feel a certain way about formalwear. Or bondage. Or vore. Or tickling. My point is just that if any of this resonates with you, you might want to consider adding extra tags to your work (you don't even have to tag "humiliation kink," "humiliation" works just fine), and you also might want to consider checking out some tags, because there is probably a vibrant community of people who also like that and who would both love your work and would love to share their work with you.

That's it. Go with god. Now if people are going to be in my notes going HOW CAN SOMETHING PLATONIC BE KINKY I have something to link them.

[flemingology]

V is very, very extraordinary ─ alexia putellas x reader

part 3 of my l-o-v-e miniseries. full masterlist here!

in which: you always held back from being intimate with Alexia, but when you confess about your past all she wants is to show you is how much better she can be

warnings: relatively vague mentions about a past toxic relationship, very soft very fluffy smut (18+), fingering (R receiving), oral (R receiving), dirty talk, language, yk all the good stuff

wc: 8k

an: not proofread, bc i had to slave away to get this done in time. but enjoy the filth, my dudes

The evening had been easy, the kind of night that made your chest feel full in the best way. Alexia had insisted on cooking dinner for you, even though she’d just come back from a grueling training session. She claimed it relaxed her, but you knew it was mostly her way of showing love without words.

The apartment smelled faintly of garlic and fresh herbs, remnants of the pasta she’d made. You’d stayed by her side as she cooked, sipping wine and laughing at her exaggerated frustration whenever she dropped something or couldn’t find the right utensil. It was quiet and intimate, a reminder of how good things were between you.

After dinner, the two of you had migrated to the couch. You’d leaned into her side, her arm draped over your shoulders as some show played in the background. You weren’t really watching it. Your attention was mostly on her, on the way she absentmindedly traced circles on your arm, on the way her lips quirked up whenever you made a teasing comment.

The hours passed in a blur, the city outside fading into the background as you got lost in eachother. It wasn’t until she stretched and mumbled something about heading up to bed that the mood shifted.

Now, standing against the closed door of your bedroom, you were all too aware of how close she was. Her hands slid to your waist as she murmured something in Spanish you didn’t quite catch, her voice low and full of intent. “Hmm?” You managed to ask, your breath hitching as her lips brushed the shell of your ear. “I said you’re too tempting for your own good,” she murmured, her hands sliding under your shirt, the warmth of her palms a stark contrast to the cool air of the bedroom. She pulled you closer, her hips flush against yours as her lips found the exposed skin of your neck.

You exhaled shakily, your hands finding their way to her shoulders as she murmured your name against your skin. “You’re so beautiful,” she mumbled, getting out the words in between kisses against your neck. Her lips moved lower, and her hands started roaming with more intent. She was steady but unhurried, her movements deliberate. You felt the tension in your body unfurl, the sheer presence of her overwhelming you in the best way possible.

But then it hit; a cold and sharp flash of doubt. Your heart skipped a beat, and not in a good way, your mind replaying images of your past.

“Alexia…”, you said softly, your voice wavering, your hands moving to still hers.

She froze instantly, her brow furrowing as she leant back just enough to look at you. The sight of her was almost enough to bring your walls back down. Her hair was tousled, her lips were kiss-swollen and her eyes held a hazy expression, but you were in your own head too much to turn the situation around. “What’s wrong?” She asked, her voice laced with concern.

You hated that you made her feel like this was about her. You hated the concerned frown on her face, the way her eyes scanned all over your face, the way you knew she thought she was at fault. She wasn’t. But you didn’t quite know how to tell her everything just yet.

You stepped back a little, the sudden space between the two of you feeling like both a relief and a loss, and you hated the way your mind was playing tricks on you. “I- I don’t know,” you stammered, hating the tears that were prickling in your eyes. “I just… I can’t, Ale.”

The shift in her was immediate. Every ounce of lust and hunger got lost on her, her hands dropping to her sides as she searched your face. “You can’t, or you don’t want to?” She inquired, her voice gentle and far from judgemental. She was too good for you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” you said quickly, guilt curling in your stomach. “I do. I really, really do, baby. But it’s just-” you swallowed hard, debating on what to tell her. What you feel comfortable telling her, what your mind will allow you to tell her. “I can’t.”

She tentatively stepped closer again, and you saw a sense of relief wash over her when you let her come closer. “I would never push you into something you’re not ready for. We can take all the time you need. I just need you to tell me what’s going in here.” She tapped lightly against your temple, her tone warm and coaxing, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice cracking slightly as you kept your gaze to the floor. “Don’t be sorry, por favor,” she said back, pressing a firm kiss against your forehead and tilting your head back up. If she saw how glossy your eyes were from the unshed tears, she didn’t mention it. And you were grateful for that. She took your hand and led you to the bathroom, where you both got ready for the night, in comfortable silence. The thoughts were running rampant through your mind, ones that had been plaguing you ever since the start of your relationship. But for now, you were going to put them aside. Until the next time they came up.

You got into bed together, Alexia pulling the duvet over both of you. She didn’t waste a second in pulling you close to her, your chest pressed flush against hers as you nuzzled your face into the crook of her neck. She wrapped her arms tightly around you, as if she was trying to shield you from the negative thoughts swirling around your mind. “We’re okay, mi amor. I promise.” She mumbled against the side of your head, pressing a lingering kiss against your temple. 

You nodded against her chest, your breaths evening out as her fingers traced light patterns along your back. The tension in your body slowly ebbed away, and soon, your steady breathing told her you’d drifted off to sleep. But Alexia stayed awake.

She stared at the ceiling, her mind swirling with thoughts she didn’t want to entertain. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. One moment, you’d be there with her, completely present, and the next, you’d pull away as though intimacy with her was too much to bear. She didn’t blame you. She didn’t even think to question your feelings for her. But that didn’t stop the doubts from creeping in.

She tightened her hold on you instinctively, her heart aching with the desire to protect you from whatever was haunting you and from the fear that maybe she wasn’t enough to help you through it.

“Te quiero,” she whispered softly into your hair, her voice barely audible in the stillness of the room. She pressed a kiss to your crown, hoping that her love would somehow seep into your dreams, even if she couldn’t ease your worries while you were awake.

-

And as much as your girlfriend remained patient, being perfect as always, the situation had to get out of hand one day. And it did, a couple weeks later.

It started with a quiet evening at home, the kind you’d both grown to treasure. The dinner you had cooked still lingered on the table, half-eaten, as the two of you had found yourselves pressed against the kitchen counter, her lips trailing down your neck with an urgency that sent shivers down your spine.

You knew she wasn’t pushing for more. She’d told you multiple times that she would never force you into something she knew you weren’t ready for, she was just being affectionate. Close, really close, but a good kind of close. You had made out countless times, it had gotten quite steamy relatively often, but every time you found yourselves at the edge of the cliff you so desperately wanted to jump down off, to let yourself fall into the deep end where you knew Alexia would be to catch you, the part of your mind that you buried away deep down always seemed to bubble back up again. 

Now, with her hands on your hips and her body pressed flush against yours, heat pooled low in your stomach as you felt the edge of the counter dig into your back. Alexia’s kisses were firm, desperate, her fingers toying with the hem of your shirt like she was seconds away from discarding it entirely. But as much as your body responded to her, the familiar wave of panic bubbled up.

“Alexia, wait,” you managed, your hands coming to rest on her shoulders. Her movements stilled instantly, her forehead dropping to rest against yours as she caught her breath. “What is it?” she asked, her voice quieter now but laced with a tension that hadn’t been there before. You closed your eyes and bit your lip, sensing that this whole situation was getting to her. You hesitated, trying to put words to the swirling emotions inside you, but Alexia’s hands slipped away from your body entirely, her expression guarded.

“This again,” she murmured, stepping back slightly and running a hand through her hair. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked softly, but you knew what she meant.

She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “It means that every time we get close, you pull away. I don’t push because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but…” She trailed off, her jaw tightening. “But what?” you prompted. You knew what she was pointing at, but you wanted to hear it from herself.

“But it’s getting harder to pretend it doesn’t bother me,” she admitted, her voice wavering just slightly. “I love you, and I’d wait forever if that’s what you needed. But you don’t talk to me about it, and I don’t know how to help you.” Her words hit you like a train. “I’m sorry, Ale, I-”

“You’re always sorry.” You knew this was coming your way. There was only so much time until eventually she would snap, and even though she wasn’t being unreasonable with you, it still hurt you. But could you really blame her?

“But ‘sorry’ doesn’t tell me why. It doesn’t tell me what’s wrong or how we can fix it. I’m trying so hard to be patient, but I’m…” She hesitated, then looked away. “I’m only human. And I want you. I want us to have this.” Her words stung, not because they were unkind but because they were true. You couldn’t blame her for feeling frustrated, couldn’t fault her for wanting what any couple would naturally have, especially after the period of time you’d been together. It’s been four months now, and even though Alexia reassured you that it’s a completely normal time frame to not have been intimate with one another yet, the only reason why it hadn’t happened yet were your insecurities. 

“I know,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “I know, and it’s not you. It’s not you at all. I just…” You swallowed hard, the weight of everything you’d been carrying pressing down on your chest. “I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t want to ruin us.” Alexia’s expression softened, her arms dropping to her sides as she stepped closer again. You hated how easily she gave in, you wanted her to be annoyed at you, at the situation, because she had every right to be. But you couldn’t deny her when she was being so caring. Her hands found yours, squeezing gently. “Ruin us? How could this ruin us?”

“Because I’m scared,” you admitted, your voice breaking slightly. “I’ve… I’ve felt like this before, and it didn’t end well. And I know you’re not them, Alexia, I know that. But my brain… it’s hard to convince it sometimes.”

She exhaled slowly, pulling you into a hug that you didn’t know you needed until you felt her warmth surround you. “I wish you’d told me sooner,” she murmured, her lips brushing the top of your head. “You don’t have to carry that alone.”

The two of you stayed there for a moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, the earlier tension fading but not disappearing entirely. It wasn’t fixed. Far from it, but at least now, the wall between you had started to crack.

You figured that it was time to tell her. You felt comfortable with her, and as much as your past was weighing you down, weighing down on your relationship, you had started feeling like opening up about it in the last couple weeks. You were certain that Alexia wouldn’t judge you, and if anything she deserved an explanation. Because the last thing you wanted was her kicking herself over something that was entirely out of her hands.

Alexia’s embrace felt like a shield, her steady heartbeat grounding you in a way your own mind couldn’t. But the weight of your confession lingered in the air between you, heavy and unspoken. She didn’t push you for more, not yet, though her quiet presence urged you to keep going. Her hand moved soothingly up and down your back, patient, as though she knew the words would come when you were ready. And they did. Slowly, at first. But then the dam broke, and you couldn’t stop.

It wasn’t about Alexia. God, how could it ever be about perfect, caring Alexia. You could feel her body untense when you told her that. It was about the way someone before her had made you feel like intimacy wasn’t a shared experience, but something they took. About the nights you’d spent questioning if they’d loved you at all or just the idea of you. About how you’d told yourself it wasn’t that bad, that you were just being overly sensitive, until one day, you couldn’t bear the thought of anyone touching you in that way again.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want Alexia. God, the way your body responded to her touches gave away more than enough to let both her and yourself know that you wanted this. Desperately. But that want was tangled up with fear, the kind that gnawed at you and told you that you might wake up one day and that she would look at you differently, just like the one before her did. That maybe letting her have this part of you would somehow shift what you had, that it would finally convince Alexia that you weren’t what she wanted. It was an insecurity that had been steady all the way throughout your relationship, and as much as your girlfriend tried to work it away, it remained persistent. She quieted it down, sure, but it would never leave.

The more you spoke, the more memories you buried so deeply rose to the surface. The way your ex would ignore your no’s, brushing them off like they were playful instead of firm. The times they’d made you feel inadequate, like your hesitations were inconveniences on their path to getting what they wanted, never batting an eye at what you wanted, or better said not wanted. How, by the end you’d felt less like a partner and more like a thing to be used.

It took you ages to leave the relationship, but when you finally mustered up the courage to leave one night, you told yourself you’d never let anyone in that easily anymore. And even though Alexia had never made you feel like she would do any of the things other people had done to you in the past, your insecurities had been holding you back. But you were ready to put them to the side, to clear everything out between the two of you and to give yourself to her in a way that would make you completely hers.

You couldn’t meet Alexia’s gaze as you finished, the silence between you now deafening. You were still in her arms, the two of you not having moved from your position in the kitchen. You held your head buried against her chest the entire time while you spoke, your arms tightening around her figure the more you revealed, as if you were scared she was gonna walk away at any point. But then her hand cupped your cheek, guiding your face to hers. Her eyes, soft and glistening with unshed tears, held nothing but love.

“Thank you so much for telling me, mi amor,” she whispered, her thumb gently brushing over your cheek. “I’m so incredibly sorry you had to go through that. I don’t know what to say, but I do know that you didn’t deserve any of that. You are so worthy of love. You’re worthy of feeling loved, and not feel like you’re being used for your body. I promise, bebé, I’m not like them. I would never take this from you, it’s something that we share. Together. Whenever you’re ready.”

Her words soothed the ache in your chest a little, and you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the woman who was holding you close to her. You had just poured your heart out, and she managed to say exactly the right thing to make sure you felt listened to. You didn’t feel like you overshared, your girlfriend deserved to know this. And she didn’t say much, but she said exactly the right things. And you couldn’t have wished for much more than that.

You nodded, your throat tight with emotion. “I just didn’t want to ruin us,” you murmured. “You could never ruin us,” she said firmly, pressing a tender kiss against your crown. And for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could be completely open with her. And even though you weren’t ready just yet, you felt the lingering insecurities ebbing away with each second that the Spaniard held you in her arms.

-

And the night it eventually happened, confirmed even further that this woman was the love of your life.

An easy Saturday night. You had cooked for Alexia after what had been a grueling week at work, seemingly everyone wanted a piece of your Spaniard during the week and you could tell that it had started to weigh on her by the time the weekend arrived. So you swapped your planned Saturday night dinner date at a new restaurant around the block for a night in, cooking one of her favorite recipes and swaying to music together in the kitchen while the scent of your cooking invaded your senses.

Conversation had been light and easy, as it always was with her. You lit some candles on the table and put on some music in the background, the soft tinge of jazz a perfect element to the comfortable air that hung between the two of you.

Now, you were curled up together on the couch, her arm draped lazily over your shoulders, pulling you close. The movie on the screen was one you’d both seen a dozen times before, but neither of you had been paying much attention. Her fingers traced idle patterns on your arm, her touch warm and familiar.

Alexia had been different since that night. Softer, if that was even possible. She never pressed, never pushed. Her touches remained comforting rather than lingering, and she’d never once brought up what you’d told her. Not directly, anyway. But tonight felt different. Not particularly for her, but for you.

You weren’t sure if it was the way her hand lingered a little longer on the small of your back when she’d kissed you earlier, or how her eyes softened whenever they met yours, like she was drinking you in. Maybe it was the wine you’d shared over dinner. Or maybe it was simply that you were ready.

You leaned into her touch a little more, your lips grazing her jaw in a way that you knew would get to her. She responded with a soft hum, turning her head to capture your lips in a kiss. It was sweet, unhurried, but you could feel the restraint in it, how she always held back just enough, careful not to push you too far. Her apprehension had tripled down ever since your moment in the kitchen a couple weeks ago, though. She was always careful of not pushing too far, but now she’d outright refrained from it. And you tried your best not to be frustrated by it, because God, she was doing it for you. She wanted to take things at your pace, but you’d been feeling on edge the past couple of days and you knew what the reason was. And as much as you were sure about yourself, you didn’t quite know how to initiate things with her.

You deepened the kiss, letting your fingers trail along the line of her jaw, and her breath hitched. It was enough to make your heart race, but even as her hand slid to your waist, you could feel her hesitating. "Alexia," you murmured against her lips, your voice softer than you’d intended. She pulled back just enough to look at you, her brows knitting in that way they always did when she was worried. “Am I- do you want me to stop?” There it was again. The hesitation. The fear of doing something that would send you three steps back. 

“No,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “I-” You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. It was now or never. Her hand rested against your cheek, grounding you. “You can tell me,” she said softly. Sweet, sweet Alexia.

You took a deep breath, your fingers clutching the fabric of her shirt. “I want to. Tonight,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “I want to have sex with you.”

You didn’t mean for it to come out so blunt. But if you didn’t get the words out there at that moment, you felt like they were going to suffocate you whole. You were ready, and you wanted her to know. Dignity be damned.

Her eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, she looked like she hadn’t heard you. But then her expression softened, her lips curving into a gentle smile. “Are you sure?” she asked, the slight lilt in her voice doing nothing to hide her excitement. You nodded, leaning into her touch. “I’m sure. I want to be with you.”

Alexia didn’t move right away. She just held your gaze, searching your eyes as if she was trying to memorize every detail of this moment. When she finally leaned in to kiss you again, it was slower, deeper, and filled with an overwhelming tenderness that made your heart ache. She pulled you closer, her hands skimming over your back as if she was afraid to let go. And for the first time, you didn’t hesitate to let her.

Her lips moved against yours in a way that felt brand new. It wasn’t though, it was a comfortable reassurance in the midst of what you knew was going to be a long night of new experiences, but every touch felt new, felt like you were discovering a new part of her that had stayed hidden underneath your projection of your insecurities. Her hands then cradled your face, thumbs brushing softly along your cheeks as though she wanted to make sure you felt cherished, loved and completely in control. She wasn’t rushing, and you knew she wasn’t going to at all. 

When she finally pulled back, her forehead rested against yours, her breath warm and steady. “Are you okay?” she asked softly, her voice barely above a whisper. You nodded, your heart racing. “I’m okay,” you murmured, your fingers curling into the baby hairs that escaped her bun at the back of her neck. “Are you?”

She smiled, a small, crooked thing that made your chest feel tight. “Yeah,” she said, her voice a little uneven. “Just… trying to believe this is really happening.” Your cheeks flushed at her words, but you didn’t look away. “It is,” you said, your voice steadier than you felt. “I want this, Alexia. I want you.”

Something flickered in her eyes. Relief, perhaps, or maybe disbelief, and she kissed you again, slower this time. It wasn’t rushed or hurried, even though you could feel the months of tension between you, bubbling just beneath the surface. She stood, pulling you up with her, her hands never leaving your waist as she guided you toward the bedroom. You followed her, your fingers laced with hers, and it felt like everything else fell away, the world outside, the doubts, the fears. It was just you and her, together.

Inside the bedroom, the atmosphere felt different. The silent urge that her actions were laced with on the couch made place for something softer, if that was even possible. Alexia turned to face you, her hands finding your waist again as she pulled you close. “We don’t have to rush,” she said, her voice gentle. “We can stop anytime, baby, I-”. “I don’t want to stop,” you interrupted, surprising even yourself with how firm your voice sounded. “I’m ready, my love.”

Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but instead, she just nodded, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “Okay,” she whispered. “Okay.” You could tell there was a storm raging behind her eyes, and you wished you could do anything at all to quell the worrying thoughts she had. But in the end, you knew that tonight would settle so many of them.

Her hands moved to the hem of your shirt, her eyes flicking up to meet yours. She hesitated, waiting for your permission, and when you nodded, she carefully lifted the fabric over your head. Her hands skimmed along your sides, warm and steady, as if she was trying to reassure you with her touch.

“Dios mio, you’re so beautiful. I don’t tell you enough.” You chuckled, because that was probably the furthest thing from the truth she’d ever said. “So multiple times a day isn’t enough for you?” Her eyes met yours and you could see the playfulness in them, secretly grateful for how light the moment was. You were well aware of how much of yourself you were giving away to her, but she steadied you. As she always did. “Shut up. Let me love you.” She accentuated her words with a firm kiss against your lips, which you readily reciprocated.

You reached for her too, your fingers trailing along her shoulders before slipping beneath the fabric of her shirt. “I want this off,” you murmured against her lips. A shiver trailed down Alexia’s spine, due to the excitement of the moment or the feeling of your fingertips on her body, she didn’t know. But she slipped her shirt off with practiced ease, and you couldn’t help but admire the toned body that you’d grown to love so much over the past couple months. There had been times where it would make you insecure, insecure about the fact that you didn’t look like that. You weren’t athletic, you didn’t train as consistently and as hard as she did, but she didn’t mind. You were perfect to her, and she would take her time again and again to meticulously work away all those worries and insecurities and wouldn’t go to bed before she made sure that you were okay.

Now, though, it’s a piece of her that you shamelessly adored. Because, let’s be real, there’s everything to love about a body like your girlfriend’s. You let your eyes trail over her toned upper body, before lightly tracing a freshly manicured finger over her abs. You heard a sharp intake of a breath coming from the woman standing across you, and you couldn’t help the smirk that grew on your face at the sound. If there was anything Alexia was taking with her from that night, it was her newfound love for the feeling of your nails raking over her muscles there. 

When the two of you finally sank onto the bed, her lips found yours again, and this time, the kiss was deeper, more urgent. Months of restraint melted away in the heat of her touch, but even in the passion, there was a softness to it, a tenderness that reminded you of why you had fallen for her in the first place.

“Tell me if you need to stop,” she murmured against your lips, her voice low and filled with emotion. “I will,” you promised, your hands sliding into her hair as you pulled her closer.

For the first time, you felt completely safe. There was no sense of pressure, no fear of being used or discarded. Alexia’s patience wrapped around you like a cocoon, and you relaxed under her touch in a way you didn’t know was possible.

Her thumb traced slow circles against your hip as her lips trailed from the corner of your mouth to the delicate skin of your jaw, leaving soft, lingering kisses as she went. Her hands, warm and steady rested on your waist. She moved lower, testing the waters by pressing a few open-mouthed kisses against your neck, to which your breath hitched in response. She paused for a moment, her breath hot against your neck, and you felt her smile against your skin. “You’re so easy to fluster.” Her lips pressed against the sensitive spot right beneath your ear, earning a sharp inhale from you. “And you make such cute noises. It’s not fair how much I love it.”

Your hands found their way to her shoulders, clutching at her as a nervous laugh escaped you. "Alexia, stop," you said, though your voice lacked any real conviction. It was a combination of words she’d heard so many times in the past couple of months, but she knew you didn’t mean it in that way this time. Her heart ached as her thoughts quickly trailed off to how much you two had grown in your relationship.

"Stop what?" she asked innocently, pulling back to meet your eyes. Her fingers slid a little higher, brushing over your ribs, her touch impossibly soft. "I’m just kissing you. Nothing else." Her grin widened as she caught the way you bit your lip to suppress any sound that was threatening to escape at the feeling of her fingers on your skin. "But you’re so responsive, cariño," she said, her voice dipping into a playful lilt. "I can’t help myself."

You wanted to retort, to say something clever, but the way her lips found yours again, soft and lingering, shut you up in the best way. "You can tell me to stop," she whispered against your lips, her hands sliding back to your waist to anchor you against her. "But I don’t think you want me to, do you?"

Alexia’s hands started to explore more purposefully, her fingers grazing the curve of your hips and rubbing softly up and down your thighs as she pressed a string of soft kisses to your collarbone. Her touch was warm, comforting, and yet electric all at once. You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped you as her lips brushed a particularly ticklish spot near your shoulder.

“What’s funny?” she asked, pulling back just enough to look at you, her brow arched in playful curiosity .“Nothing,” you lied, biting your lip to stifle another giggle. “It just… tickles a little. ”Alexia smirked, her expression mischievous now. “Ticklish, huh?” she teased, dipping her head to nuzzle against your neck, her lips and breath sending shivers down your spine. “Alexia, no-” you protested through your laughter, squirming slightly beneath her. “That’s not fair!”

She laughed with you, the sound warm and contagious, before leaning up to meet your eyes again. Her expression softened instantly, the laughter fading into something much more tender. “I love this,” she whispered, her thumb brushing the side of your face. “Hearing you laugh like this, seeing you so… at ease. It’s perfect.”

As her hands wandered again, Alexia shifted her weight slightly and started moving down your body, only to accidentally knock the bedside lamp with her elbow. The soft thud of the lamp wobbling broke the moment, and the two of you froze for a second before dissolving into quiet laughter.

“Smooth,” you teased, shaking your head as you reached out to steady the lamp. You loved the way her cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. “Not my finest moment,” she admitted with a sheepish grin. The laughter and lightness of the moment faded when she returned to the task at hand, moving down your body and pressing lingering kisses against every sliver of skin she could find. Your chest, stomach, arms, your girlfriend didn’t leave a spot untouched and you felt overwhelmed in the best way possible. You thought you knew what it felt like to be loved, but all of that went out of the window as soon as you met Alexia. She made you feel like you were the only girl in the world, and that feeling increased by tenfold in this moment. The way she looked at you, the way she held you, spoke to you, the way she tenderly explored your body with soft touches, nothing in the world would ever compare to the way you felt when her body hovered over yours. 

She eventually settled between your legs, resting her head on one of your thighs and gazing up at you, tracing soft circles all over the thigh her head wasn’t resting on. She looked at you with a softness in her gaze that made your heart ache, in disbelief over how loved she could make you feel through such simple actions. Her hand shifted slightly upwards, fingers trailing over your hips and lightly starting to fiddle with the waistband of your underwear. She asked the unspoken question with her eyes, knowing well enough that you knew what she meant. You bit your lip and nodded, a little apprehensive but not enough to let that stop you. Alexia sat up on her knees and carefully started taking off your underwear, keeping her eyes trained on yours. She searched your face for any discomfort as she slid the garment down your legs, discarding it somewhere in the room to clean up tomorrow. 

You felt bare then, besides the obvious fact that you were bare. But it didn’t scare you like it would’ve before, had this happened earlier. You felt  comfortable, her presence was grounding you in the most perfect way and you trusted her with this, trusted her with your body. “You look incredible, mi amor. Honestly, you’re so beautiful.” You hadn’t noticed she finally allowed herself to take your body in, letting her eyes rake over every part of your naked figure as if she was getting to know it all over again.

Your cheeks turned a subtle shade of red at her words, and you couldn’t help the small smile that crept up your lips as she spoke. She returned it with one of her own, before making her way up your body again and pressing kisses all over your face. She was doing a perfect job at balancing the intensity and lightheartedness of the moment, and if you ever wondered how she could ever become more perfect, this moment in the bedroom together was the proof of that.

But the air shifted then, and you knew she wanted to know how serious she was about how you were about to give yourself to her. She pressed a couple more lingering kisses against your lips and whispered some soft reassurances before she moved back down again, laying down between your legs and making herself comfortable.

“Mi vida, if you don’t like something, or if anything hurts, or if you just want to stop, tell me. I won’t be mad, angry or disappointed, okay? Tonight is about you, bebé, and I want you to feel good. Just guide me, hmm? Tell me what you like and don’t like. I’ll try my best to make you feel as comfortable as possible.”

Her words wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and settled the tiny bundle of nerves that had started bubbling up ever since she moved down your body again. You nodded, but Alexia raised her eyebrows in response and you realized she wasn’t gonna settle for just a nod. “Yes, baby, I know. Thank you. I love you so much.” She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath, as if she was letting your words seep through her. Then eventually, she dipped her head down and started pressing kisses against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

It wasn’t long until your hands found her hair, tangling themselves there to ground yourself whilst Alexia was working her way up to where you wanted her most. You were aching for her, truly. You’d had your insecurities that had been holding you back, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t sexually frustrated from being around the hottest woman you’d ever laid eyes on for months and not doing anything that remotely soothed any ache that came up.

“You’re so wet, baby,” Alexia started, and you let out an embarrassingly needy whimper as she blew a bit of air toward your wet folds. “Dripping. All for me, huh?” You didn’t manage anything more than a hum, your thoughts way too clouded with the prospect of what was about to happen to muster up anything more than that. Alexia hooked her arms underneath your thighs and you instinctively spread them a little further, allowing her more space to work with. 

She started slowly, but no matter how slow she would’ve started, you would’ve been a goner anyway. She pressed a couple soft kisses against your folds, not in any way close to where you actually wanted her, but it felt like months of sexual frustration were crashing down on you the moment you felt her mouth near your core.

“Ale, please, I need you.” Despite your pact with yourself that you’d let her do what she wanted to you, to let her take her time and just let it wash over you, you felt like you were going to combust if you didn’t have her mouth on you at this moment. You could hear a slight chuckle coming from the woman between your legs but before you could feel embarrassed at your neediness, you felt her warm mouth envelop your sensitive bud of nerves that sat proudly atop your folds. You let out a guttural moan at the feeling, and even though she wasn’t really doing anything, you already felt way too close to the edge.

“Fuck, baby, I won’t last long,” you said, thinking it was only decent to warn her. “Don’t worry, mi amor, we have all night,” she mumbled against you, the vibrations of her voice sending more jolts of pleasure all throughout your body. Alexia buried herself a little deeper, her mouth dipping down and licking through your folds, her nose bumping your clit. It was overwhelming, it was too much, but you couldn’t get enough. She squeezed your thighs every now and then, a silent reminder that she was there, that this was real and that you were okay.

It wasn’t long until you came undone for the first time that night. All it took was your girlfriend to expertly suck and flick her tongue a couple times over your clit, and you were completely at her mercy. You tugged at her hair as you felt the coil in your belly snap, arching your back off the bed and letting out a loud moan of her name with it. Your thighs locked around her head, but she remained steady, her tongue working you through your orgasm perfectly, slowing down when it faded so you didn’t get overstimulated.

And if you weren’t crazy about her yet, the sight you were met with when she emerged from between your thighs had you falling for her in a completely different way. Her hair was tousled, her cheeks a little red from the effort and her chin was slightly wet, testament of how your juices had coated her mere moments ago. She had a goofy, proud smile on her face and you would move heaven and earth to have it plastered on there forever. “C’mere,” you mumbled, making grabby hands at her. She hovered over you, and you pulled her down into a firm kiss, one in which you tried to pour all your appreciation for her into. “You’re amazing,” you mumbled against her lips. “You haven’t seen anything yet, mi amor,” she murmured when she pulled away, a playful glint in her eyes and her tone teasing. You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched as she slid down your body again.

It felt different now, you were more aware of what she was doing, less lost in your own pleasure. She didn’t tease you like she did the first time, but instead started sliding two of her fingers through your folds, gathering some arousal and then teasing your cunt. “Do you want me there?” She asked in a low voice, looking at you through her eyelashes before fixing her gaze on your pussy again. She was mesmerized, the way you were absolutely dripping for her and she could see your cunt trying to suck her fingers in as she teased your hole. “Please, but be gentle,” you mumbled, almost embarrassed at the way your voice sounded. “Of course, baby,” she reassured, leaning down and pressing a couple soft kisses against one of your thighs that were locked around her waist.

She didn’t waste much more time then, gathering a little more arousal with her fingers before slowly pushing her middle finger in. She went slow, careful, just like she’d promised you. The stretch was painful, but the longer she was inside of you, the more the pain transferred into pleasure. “You can try to move, baby,” You said, and that was all Alexia needed to get down to business. She slowly pulled her finger back, not rushing anything at all, before filling you up again. It felt good, being filled by her, although you knew you were able to take more, and you wanted more. “Another one,” you said in a soft voice, and you thought she didn’t catch it.

But she did, because suddenly you felt her pull out, only to add a second finger and slide inside you again. The stretch was good this time, less painful, and you quickly adjusted to the width and girth of her fingers. She started moving a little quicker, finding a set rhythm and she was working you closer and closer to the edge. “Look at me,” she said, and when you didn’t comply immediately she squeezed your thigh, to which you opened your eyes and locked eyes with hers. “I wanna see your face when you cum, por favor,” she asked, and who were you to deny her when she seemed so desperate? So she picked up her pace, and kept her eyes trained on yours, studying every expression you made as she pleasured you. The slight frown etched on your forehead, the way your mouth fell open in an ‘o’ whenever a particularly good thrust of her fingers took your breath away, the way you bit your lip when you were trying to be mindful about the sinful noises that left your mouth. Suddenly the last couple months had all been worth it. The sight of you, bare, beneath her was one she would never get tired of, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to go without it again.

The increased volume of your moans is what pulled her out of her thoughts, your face telling her that you were growing closer to your peak. She picked up the pace a little bit more, careful not to hurt you, and to add to the pleasure she started using her mouth too. She took your clit in her mouth, lightly sucking on it to try and push you over the edge. She heard the sound of one of your hands clenching the sheets, and your other hand was tugging at her hair so deliciously. She was drunk on you, lost in your pleasure, so determined to make you feel better than you’d ever felt. So when your thighs clenched around her head and your back arched off the bed, she didn’t stop.

She didn’t stop until all that was leaving your mouth were high-pitched moans, teetering on the edge of overstimulation, but you loved the combination of pleasure and pain that was coursing through you as she kept pumping her fingers in and out of you, her pace not faltering even when you came down from your orgasm.

You threw your head back, knowing that she wanted to coax another out of you, and your brain had to turned to absolute mush at her mercy. She slid her unoccupied hand up your body, searching for yours and intertwining your fingers, trying to ground you with the touch. “One more, mi amor, one more, for me, please,” Alexia was begging. Begging for you to cum again, for you to give her one more. She was working her fingers in and out of you at an insane pace, and even if you wanted to give her a response, you wouldn’t have been able to. The words caught in your throat, a guttural moan coming out instead as she slightly nibbled on your clit. The feeling was overwhelming, and before you had even registered what was happening, your third orgasm of the night washed over you.

You screamed her name, no longer minding how loud you were being. But the feeling of pleasure quickly turned into one of overstimulation, and you pressed a hand against Alexia’s crown to push her away from your core. She looked up, frown etched onto her face, cheeks a little puffy and breathing heavy. “You okay?” She managed to ask, and you nodded, “Yeah, yeah, so okay, just too much.”

You tried to relax, laying your head down against the pillows and trying to control your breath whilst Alexia quickly left her spot between your legs, dipping away into the bathroom before returning with a warm washcloth. She cleaned you up, and for some reason that action felt more intimate than anything you’d just done prior to that. She discarded it in the laundry and made her way back over to you, a smug smile playing on her lips as you climbed next to you in bed. You curled into her, nuzzling your head into her chest and grounding yourself as you listened to your heartbeat. A comfortable silence stretched across the two of you, Alexia playing with your hair as you pressed soft kisses against her sternum. “Thank you,” she eventually whispered.

You lifted your head, searching for her eyes despite the dark room. “For what?” You frowned. “For trusting me with this. Trusting me with you and your body. It means the world to me, and I hope that you felt comfortable throughout.” You felt some tears well up, but you blinked them away before they could fall, not wanting to give your girlfriend a wrong impression of how you felt. “God, Ale, you’re incredible. Thank you for taking such good care of me. I-” you took a deep breath, pressing a soft kiss against her nose before speaking further. “I couldn’t have wished for anyone better than you to do this with. Thank you. You’re incredible and I love you so much.”

She smiled at that, and captured your lips in a dizzying kiss. “Are you okay?” She asked, pulling away slightly. “Better than okay. Honestly.” The two of you stayed like that for what felt like hours, tangled in each other’s arms. Alexia had well and truly managed to top any of the expectations you’d set, and suddenly it felt like second nature. Being here with her, your naked bodies pressed together, everything just felt right. Your insecurities worked away, Alexia the new reality that you were more than happy to get used to.

[little-bloodied-angel]

I apologize in advance if this is hijacking, feel free to tell me so. (I've reblogged without additions too, just in case).

I'm nonbinary transmasc. And when I was figuring that one out and feeling a lot of very complicated (and mostly not good) stuff, the people that held my hand and helped me were trans women. The people who convinced me life didn't end then were trans women. The people who helped me not feel like a traitor to my own experiences and to womanhood were trans women. The people who helped me decide I didn't have to stop wearing what I wanted, or cut my hair, or generally not be femme anymore, were trans women (and transfem nb people). I didn't know any trans men yet, or any transmascs. They introduced me, actually.

The people who made my life immeasurably better and more than likely helped save it were queer trans women and transfems. Whether or not we still talk, I will literally always remember you and the impact you had on me.

So yes. The world in general, and mine specifically, is better for having trans women in it. And I guess I just wanted y'all to hear it from someone who isn't a trans woman because I am so done with seeing post after post where the only people uplifting you all and reminding you of your worth are other trans women. You deserve better than only being able to rely on each other. You deserve the world to give a little bit back.

the world is a better place with trans women in it

[ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat]

pillow talk - spencer reid x fem!reader

a night well spent fizzles out into soft words exchanged in pink sheets.

genre: fluff wc: 1019 warnings: mentioned sex, their first time together, casual nudity, inexperienced reader, insecurities, reassurance

It was soft, comforting even. Of course intense because how else could your first time together be? It was him, after all. As you lay, heavy pants finally returning to normal, steady breaths, a hand comes up to smooth down your hair and a kiss is gently pressed to your head.

"How do you feel?" Spencer asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

It proves to be a difficult question. A response seems counterintuitive, like it would demean the moment into something that has to be assessed. An answer has to come, nonetheless.

"I don't know." And it's the truth.

He hums thoughtfully and nods, running a hand down your shoulder. "Good or bad?"

"Good... like my brain's empty. If that makes sense," you answer.

Your head, on Spencer's bare chest, does, in fact, feel foggy. Before today, you were both too scared of the intimacy. Something changed the moment you felt him move his grip from your hip to your waist, like he was worried that he might make you uncomfortable. You didn't want that. It happened only after convincing him that you wanted to go further than the usual groping and hand stuff. Now you're unsure how you feel. Having someone you've been seeing for a while suddenly inside you is bizarre and always will be. You also can't seem to shake that voice that sounds a lot like your friends, telling you that he'll leave after he gets what he wants. Your mind is simply a flurry of everything that anyone has ever told you about intimacy. With Spencer, it was different, though.

Your hand finds his and you mindlessly toy with his fingers as you murmur, "you've done this more than me, correct?"

"Correct."

"How do people usually feel?" you ask softly.

"Everybody's different. You don't need to feel good." He takes a breath and explains in a matter-of-fact tone, his hand lifting above your shoulder to gesture while he talks, "the rush of serotonin and dopamine into our system can leave some people feeling sad or tired once those neurotransmitters decrease."

You nod, finding yourself understanding. It has been a while since you've engaged in any form of intimacy.

"That makes sense."

He nods as his fingers drop to continue the irregular patterns on your arm. His chin rests on your head. "So? How do you feel?"

Again, there's no correct answer to his question. It's a complicated experience with complicated feelings attached. But one thing is for sure, "I'm happy."

"I'm glad. I am, too," he hums.

A smile floats over your lips before a thought occurs and you have an inkling as to how he'll choose to reply to it. Your head lifts and you turn so you're now partly on your side, giving you a perfect view of his face in the soft glow of the afternoon. With the curtains closed, his skin was basked in pale yellow light, the pink of your sheets contrasting the pink of his cheeks.

"Did I do good?" you grin.

He finds you gorgeous, your sickeningly sweet smile making him gaze down at you in pure awe. It's the complete and utter truth when he responds with, "very."

You can't help but tease, "best you've ever had?"

"Yes. I don't think you could've fumbled that badge of honour if you tried," he smiles, his hand gently cupping your cheek, a rough thumb wiping away invisible tears.

Something about the sentiment gets to you. After all, you're nothing but a hopeful romantic. But you're also just a girl.

"So, even if I was bad, you'd still lie and say I wasn't?" you raise your eyebrows and bat your eyelashes.

His eyes narrow but the smile on his face shows you that he's not really upset. "No... I meant that I think I like you too much to not enjoy everything you do."

"Oh," you flush. Why does he have to be so perfect?

The hand on your cheek moves up to brush some of your hair back. "Yeah, oh."

Spencer's different than the guys you've interacted with. He's everything that little girls everywhere dream of. He's Prince Charming. That's why when your lips meet his and the sheet falls back, his eyes never once glance down. Perhaps he's an agent and an individual with three PhDs but he's a gentleman above all else. He never once wants to make you feel like he's not here for you.

When your lips break apart with happy smiles on both of your faces, you take in just how silly he looks. His hair is messy from your fingers, his cheeks are flushed and—your favourite of all—he's covered up to his stomach in pink sheets. The giggle that leaves you is unnecessary and unasked for.

He can't help the smile that comes from hearing your laugh. "What?" he mutters, brows furrowed.

"You just look... so very silly in my bed," you explain, a lovesick grin on your face.

"Oh. Well, I can't help what you choose as interior design."

You sigh dramatically, shaking your head like a disappointed teacher, "I suppose you can't."

The smile on his lips only grows as you act your ass off to seem sad by his comment.

"Perhaps I should also purchase pink sheets?" he suggests jokingly, tucking yet another stray strand behind your ear.

"I really think you should. It would complement your room and it would make you think of me so that's a bonus," you nod. You're unable to stay serious, though, the corners of your mouth lifting despite your efforts.

Spencer nods back, his bottom lip pushing up as he hums decisively. "I'm sold, let's go to the store," he says with an impressively straight face.

You laugh hard, beaming up at him with nothing but pure joy. You find his commitment to the bit amusing and, honestly, endearing. He points his thumb towards the bedroom door with his eyebrows raised in a silent question. Playfully, your eyes roll and rest your face in the crook of his neck.

"I'll get pink sheets if you want me to," Spencer softly mutters.

[krotiation]

i'll genuinely never stop thinking about codependency in rhack and how it's mostly coming from jack's side. both jack and rhys treat their relationship like rhys is the one who needs jack to not just survive but also thrive, but it's really the opposite and i think that REALLY adds to how much jack twists the narrative to make it seem like rhys can't do anything without him just to keep giving rhys a reason to keep him around and trust him

[accio-victuuri]

「 I AM NOT HERE 」 clowning post part iv. aka the main candy compilation now that we have the whole song. here’s part one & two & three for reference which are very short ones.

before we dive into the cpns, i wanna congratulate yibo for another exceptional song! the lyrics are so good and his voice??? his voice??? you all know the part i’m talking about— it’s singer yibo!

let’s start with this ⬆️⬆️⬆️ i think the side by side photo is self explanatory. you have xz drawing the mountains and yibo integrating himself into it and became the mountain himself. i like this whole concept of him being in nature, being all around this person even if he is not there physically as himself. this is so special too considering we always clown about them loving camping & hiking — and other outdoorsy stuff. it may be that nature reminds yibo of those happy times they spend together exploring that environment.

now let’s move on to a very yizhan-y interpretation of the song…

1. some fans have pointed out that it’s 2000 days since the 12.28 tencent starlight awards where they were together. it was post-cql and them going into new roles — a start of well, more complicated times, but they had each other. i don’t really believe too much in these anniversary cpns but i will just leave this here.

2. comparing the water theme & mountains from xz’s photoshoot before that had us all going 🥵🥵🥵, it matches the imagery from yibo’s song.

3. the official description of the song provided by music platforms gave a solid perspective of what it is all about & it’s not far off what we think it is when the teaser/s came out.

“I" is rooted in this land, connected by veins, and time and space are close to each other. "I" live in symbiosis with the mountain, breathe with you, and experience the ups and downs of life. We go through the ups and downs with all things, so the green mountains are flat, and "I" is always present.

I am here, a dialogue with the world. I AM NOT HERE, but I will always be there. This is what "I’m here" is all about. So darling, DON'T BE CRYING, Because this song is a symphony between you and me.

Let me just sit and think about this. It’s such a beautiful meaning. Their love goes beyond the romantic and it’s real. You can see it all around you.

4. Time to dissect the first half of the lyrics 🎶

Many years later // Where will I turn back and look? // Holding flowers I've never seen before // Facing toward you

this reminds us of their first meeting in the field of flowers. out of all the things he can start with, why this? also the graphics for xz’s album is an eternal flower. if we look at it further, it’s more than the literal sense too. the flower he hasn’t seen is this new feeling and having this one person that is became so important to him. the first line is also telling, cause it’s like he is looking back at that moment, many years later, out of all his time, that time is what he wants to recall.

Waving my hand // Don't stay on the lonely island // I'll become a small boat to take you to find the oasis

we knew of this line already and it’s still so romantic. it’s this person who is alone but wyb wants to take him away and help him find that oasis. oftentimes, people tend to have that selfish type of love where they want the other to be isolated. but yibo is not like that. he wants to take the person outside, see the world and fins that happiness together. and him being a small boat is too cute! like he knows he is not that strong but he will do his best to make a difference in his (xz) life and give him freedom & happiness.

My heart enters the mountains / My body sinks into the sea / All to reunite with you and return

the integration of himself with nature. how he has to sink into the sea so he can reunite with that person.

5. second part of the lyrics 🙌🏼. just a disclaimer that he had someone working with him to create this song and the lyrics, but that doesn’t mean he had 0 input. we all know how yibo is at this point and something as personal as his year-end song definitely had his approval with every line.

Falling, scattering into dust

And then being reborn

Pointing at the fireworks

in the sky, never fading

Are you there?

You just need not cry

You just need to bloom

And I will never leave

Don't be crying x 3

You don't need to wait

I'm here

I'm here

Don't be crying

i am weak for that first line, the thought of scattering into dust and being reborn. that’s some eternal love right there! we have reincarnation cpn at some point in the fandom so that feeds into that. the idea of yibo believing in that kind of love, never ending, not even in death makes me feel some type of way 🥹🥹🥹

next up is the imagery of fireworks. something he seems to be fond off per that video ybo shared before. also connect that to when xz was watching the fireworks during shooting wrap.

then it moves into him telling the person to not cry, you just need to bloom and he will never leave. I have explained the very real cpn about this whole crying thing before and it’s such a sweet sentiment! it’s a simple and honest promise, i will not make you cry. you just have to do what you want. yibo is there and will support xz as he succeeds (blooms).

and the last part is the nail in the coffin. you don’t need to wait, i’m here.

well who do we know at some point said that waiting is romantic?

hmmmmm. xiao zhan 🥰🥰🥰🥰

waiting. this word is very charming, it encourages people to expect. if you told me, someone is waiting for me, i would feel very moved. whether it’s my parents, or my lover, i feel that “waiting” is a very romantic word; to have something beautiful in the future waiting.

so this is yibo’s answer. you don’t have to. I’m here.

I hope everyone is having a fun weekend right now! listening to this new song, watching ETU and later follow yibo along at an event 🥂

-END

[roxanne193018]

A part 3 of Lucifer’s implied (?) yandere stuffs ( i guess it’s not so implied anymore)

⚠️

Warning: spoilers Christmas event story and Lucifer (blow)

Here he is, yapping about his brothers again (not that I complain tho)

This dude. Everyone says he talks very little that Paradise Lost gang even blushed at his words every time he speaks bc apparently he rarely speaks. But bro is a YAPPER. A huge YAPPER when it comes to MC. (Like how most of us just yap all things to our love) from background conversations, to chats, to stories, if one sentence was enough to make the PL gang blush, then with the amount he says to MC, PL gang would orgasm till they faint.

Also, when MC said “oh, you are busy, why bother texting me?” He was like

“??Bc I’m a doctor, and I often check up on my patients,

But also bc I like you.

Gamigin almost form lifelong friendship with his patients! We doctors are dedicated…I am not that dedicated tho,

But I also have to check on you bc you are important to me.

I can ask everyone instead to know if you’re ill or not,

But I want to ask you directly tho.

Everyone is interested in you, ao I can ask everyone about you

But I’m also interested in you”

… very roundabout way of saying I am literally loving you, and you are important to me, and why are you pretending not to see it? Conflicting ahh birb

… notice him guys.

.

In the story, he actually keeps his “doctor profession”, by not touching his patient, (believe it or not). He wants to lick MC’s tears so bad, wants to be nice to her, wants to cherish it as lovers’ s*xy time and not a type of treatment, but he couldn’t bc everything he did then was to cure MC. So, he refrained himself from licking MC’s tears and kissing MC’s face. Meh, weird way for a doctors’ safe distance from patient, but that’ll do ig…

Again, he losts it at every card when MC said she likes doing this with him. Their relationship, feels kinda like situasionship smh haha. Both kept their cools, but loses their shjt when the other do lovers’ things to them.

He caters to MC’s liking to cure her, but in the end, he himself can’t keep his words of “not touching the patient”, and still kisses MC. As MC no longer has Christmas cold, she still clings to Lucifer for sexy time lol, bc it’s rare to spend time with him, and he knows, he thinks the same and doesn’t do allat doctor patient game anymo, just lovers’ stuffs from then on lmao.

Shows how MC makes him always loses his shjt, and he admits it fr 🤣

And finally, I still save the best for last.

So for context: he is texting MC to ask like “what type of magical possay you got, that this toy still have your love liquid on it after DAYS?”

… well look at that, you hypocrite lil shjt. I remember SOMEONE told Belphegor that him keeping the blanket that him and MC rolled on is unhygienic. And now you kept that toy UNWASHED on your office table for days, in the room that bans everyone from entering. If he washed it, he wouldn’t ask MC why it was still wet bc it would be cleanly dried long ago.

“At first, it vibrated with your smell” okay.. you kept that thing to occasionally sniff MC out? On God… like I said. He might be crazy like Asmo.

Next, he was FURIOUS, when he noticed that the candy cane reeks of other devils’ smells. (Apparently the Paradise Lost gang has used that to m*st*rb*t* lol) bc 1, he places it privately in his own office, a place no one dares to enter, and now they are doing IT in his no no office zone, and 2, it no longer entirely smells like MC, so he just decides to lock the entire PL gang up to punish 🤣🤣 and won’t let MC meet them for a good while. (Jealous boi)

Another thing I am wondering is that, it is canon that he gets hard every time he bumps into/ remembers/ sees MC (MC-sexual lol). The inclusion of the MC smelled candy cane in his office? Yeah… it will DEFINITELY make that man go absolute FERAL.

.

.

I realized how I over analyzing everything when it comes to Luci lmao. Probably mostly bc he has IMPLIED shjjj compared to Leviathan, who just literally smacks the heck outta MC if she makes him jealous, much easier to see.

[hencheri]

who’s a moaner and who isn’t? (in wayV)

got some inspiration... ><

18+ mdni.

warnings: humiliation, degradation.

.

listen, everyone. men who are totally silent in bed are so cringey. but you also surely want to know who are the loudest/whiniest/etc., so...

xiaojun xiaojun big time moaner. literally moans as much as you (maybe more than you if you're not so vocal), but ofc it's deeper and sounds more like grunts/sighs. the type to speak a lot too and get cut off by his moans. he either degrades the shit out of you or praises you. no in between. xiaojun is hard to understand... he hates your guts or loves them :)

winwin winwin... poor baby only whines. and cries. will have his waterline full of tears once he's very close, moans your name followed by a cute, pathetic "please". but i think his moans still sound kinda deep because we all know how deep his voice is, especially in songs (aka *rodeo*). he doesn't say much other than incoherent pleas :/ don't degrade him though, don't even dare. this baby DESERVES to be worshipped.

ten we said before that ten is a whiny dom and i still very much agree. lots of (endless) talking, but my man also laughs ... at you. i can't imagine a ten who isn't smiling and smirking, not making fun of every little sound you let out. he loves to humiliate you. but i think he can be very loving sometimes too and it's when he's the whiniest, moaning stuff about your pretty pussy and tits.

yangyang i think there's either subby!yangyang who repeats over and over again that he's close, that he'll cum in you, that he can't stop fucking you... or dom!yangyang who just can't stop from commenting every single one of your expressions/noises. he smiles so much because he knows he's fucking you silly, it boosts his ego a lot.

kun kun doesn't talk that much, i think he rather prefers you talking, calling him gege (obvi) and saying how good he feels (or how bad it hurts...). i totally see him being out of breath, mouth open, taking big puffs of air in. or hissing, sucking air through his teeth... you know, because he's so big and your cunt is so tight :(

hendery henderyyyy ... well you knooowww... he grunts while having his face hidden in the crook of your neck... he hisses and curses :/ like, he's obsessed, all he talks about is you; how much of a pretty girl you are, how much he likes you, how bad he needs you... he always has the faintest smirk on his lips because he just knows you're in love with him too and you will never get fucked this good by anyone else <3 he kinda makes fun of you as well, but it's out of adoration, mostly imitating you or laughing when you can't respond to him.

[angelicwh1spers]

— ⋅˚₊‧ 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ‧₊˚ ⋅ —

— 𝐀cademic 𝐑ival 𝐂hristopher x 𝐀cademic 𝐑ival 𝐑eader

𝐈n 𝐜onclusion… before taking a very important test, you and Chris decided to make a bet on who would get the higher score, the person with the lower score would have to do anything the person with the higher score wanted them to do, and unfortunately you got one percent lower than Chris…

𝐖arnings… [ SUGGESTIVE&ANGST ] , swearing , allergic reaction , burning stuff , steamy makeout session ,

⚠︎ 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐒 - English is not my first language so excuse and dismiss any minor mistakes in my writing, I’m fairly new to writing on tumblr but it’s always been my passion to create stories and envelop myself inside of the world of fiction.

⟡ ݁₊ “𝐘ou seriously think you can beat me?” You huff, holding in your laughter as the chill autumn breeze hits your skin as Chris tries to claim he can beat you at the upcoming test today by getting a higher grade, it almost felt pathetic to be hearing such words even dare to be spoken by him in your presence. “Scared you’ll loose the bet?” He taunts, leaning his back against the railing of the staircase located at the entrance to the campus, one of his many favorite brown leather jacket protecting him from the soft breeze. You chuckle at his immediate assumption, you loosing a silly little bet for the higher score? “Me? Scared? Who do you think I am, a dumbass like you?”

“Oh you’re so high and mighty, I can’t wait to see your face when you loose.” A mocking smirk tugs on the corner of his mouth as you just roll your eyes at his smartass remark, maybe he isn’t a total dumbass but definitely is a goddamn bastard. And why does he have to look so good in that jacket today? “You wish, I never loose. Why do you think I’m on top of the class? I earned it, get ready to do whatever I say after this test, loser.” I state, he chuckles softly before running a hand through his brown messy hair, you could see the slight shift in his demeanor, now appearing more determined and set on one obvious goal. “Yeah, I think you meant you were getting ready to do whatever I say, hm?”

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────

During the remainder of the day, you two made it each others mission to sabotage the other in anyway possible so they would fail the test, first it started harmless with distracting each other from studying but progressively got more intense and rude but to you two it felt as if it was just another day…

— allergic reaction.

You finally have sat down with your friends, chatting and laughing as jokes and stories were thrown between the group, while you were taking out your already prepared lunch, out of the corner of your eye you noticed Chris smirking ear to ear right at you while talking with his own friend group at their table. You brushed off his stare and continued with your lunch, but when you took the first bite and it went down your throat, something didn’t feel right, your throat started to close up and your breath coming in short puffs and then you realized you were having an allergic reaction, a million questions rise inside of your mind on how this could have happened, you precisely made sure there was nothing you were allergic to inside of your lunch. Then Chris’s little smirk flashes in your mind and already know who was behind this, thank god you had your epipen in your bag. You knew you couldn’t go to the nurse since she would send you home, so you had to live through the pain for the remainder of the day until the test, one day you swear you will not hesitate to kill him.

— burning pile.

Throwing in the last piece of paper you needed to be complete, you watched as the hot flames immediately roared to life, intensifying the already big fire created from Chris’s important notes he had ready for todays test and you also decided to burn some other ones he had in his book bag, from your taken spot you could hear most of the things happening in the school, especially where Chris currently was from the open window and could hear frustrated footsteps stomping throughout the school and just laugh at his immediate reaction, waiting for him to make it to where you were. A half-finished lit cigarette hanging from the corner of your mouth as you see a familiar voice call out your name and already knowing who it is, "Y/n! Give me my notes back, you know those are—" He cuts off his own words by the sight of his notes being a burning pile right in front of him, a mocking smirk tugging at the corners of my mouth, taking the last drag of my cigarette and throwing it into the flames to disintegrate, "Ups! I thought these were useless" you say with fake "I'm gonna literally gonna murder you."

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────

Chris won the stupid bet, getting a 100% overpowering your 99% on the test and him waving the test in your face, but the thing he asked you to do wasnt something you expected at the very least…

His hands rest on your waist as you two stumble into the kitchen, being all over each other as an intense make out was currently happening between you two, he softly pushes your back into the counter before they tighten its grip and lift you up to sit you down on the counter for better access as your lips which never separate from each other and don’t seem like they will any time soon, your arms wrap around his neck while his rest right above your hips but they keep wandering all over your lower body. Somehow you two ended up in this situation, but you’re certainly not complaining much, the way the feeling of his lips on yours and how your tongues danced together just made a shiver run down your spine, it almost felt like a drug that you felt you needed more of each second.

“Still bitter about loosing that bet? Princess was finally pushed off her high and mighty stool?” He teases, speaking between kisses which became slight messy as he talked but soon gone back to normal, “Maybe, but you have to make it up to me for that allergic reaction.” I answer, still feeling the bitter-sweet taste of losing now being overpowered by the taste of Chris’s mouth on mine. The only time we would pull away from each other was for short breaths before returning right back, you didn’t know for how long you two were like this but it’s not like someone was counting your time nor rushing you. “What about you first making up for burning my notes and looking absolutely delicious smoking that cigarette?” “I think I already did, by doing whatever you want” he smirks into the long kiss, it somehow remaining eager and passionate even after the long duration of it.

His hands squeezed your hips tightly, wandering downwards to rest down on your thighs, dangerously close to the waistband of your skirt as our own hands wandered to tangle into his brown messy locks, the long make out session soon came to an end, leaving you two complete panting messes before Chris attacks the sensitive soft flesh of your neck, peppering it with open-mouthed kisses while his hot breath fans over them, causing a soft whimper escape past your lips alongside quick puffs of air, still trying to regain your flow of breath. "Like how your rival is all over you, huh? How he just can't resist the little princess no more." He mumbles against your neck while leaving a significant hickey behind which is going to be not so easy to cover up tomorrow for my classes, "What will I say after someone sees all these marks on my neck?" I question in a playful tone as he raises his head to glance up at my face, appearing almost serious if it wasnt for his eyes which were driven entirely by desire in that moment. "Tell them who you fuckin' belong to, little princess."

— 🩵 𝐓aglist

• @sweetshuga @giveheavensomehell @delilahsturniolo @marrykisskilled @purpledragon222 @nickgurl4life @thenickgirl …

⋅˚₊‧ 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒... heloheloheloo!! the start of the au has now began and surprisingly this is the first thing im writing for it but its not gonna be all smut all the time so bear with me guys for now, thanks for over 200 notes on my first fic im so grateful guys it feels so insane to me!! 🩵

[iamgonnagetyouback]

brushstrokes, sketches, and you

mattheo riddle x reader where he shows his drawing to you and only you

↬ word count : 922 words ˎˊ˗

↬ warnings : extreme levels of fluff—may cause uncontrollable smiling

navigation┆mattheo riddle masterlist┆request here 𝜗𝜚

Mattheo Riddle was nervous. Not the usual brooding, sharp-edged nervousness he could pass off with a smirk or a sarcastic remark, but real nervous. The kind that made his palms sweaty and his stomach churn as he paced in his studio like a caged animal.

You’d be here any minute. And when you arrive, you’d see it.

The painting.

It was a surprise, something he’d been working on for weeks—maybe even months, if he counted all the failed attempts and discarded sketches. He wasn’t sure why he’d decided to do this. Maybe it was because you had this uncanny ability to make him feel like the best parts of himself weren’t as impossible to reach as he thought. Or maybe it was because he loved you, and you deserved to know just how much.

The sound of your voice broke through his anxious thoughts. “Matty? Are you in here?”

His heart leapt, and he scrambled to block the canvas. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here. Don’t—wait! Don’t look yet.”

You stepped into the doorway, your brow furrowed in confusion. “What’s going on? You’re acting weird.”

“I’m not acting weird,” he countered, clearly acting very weird. “Just—close your eyes. Please?”

Your confusion softened into a smile, one that always managed to set him at ease. “Alright. But if this is some kind of prank—”

“It’s not a prank,” he said quickly, his voice quieter now.

With a small shrug, you closed your eyes, and Mattheo moved to guide you toward the painting. His hands lingered on your shoulders, steadying you—or maybe steadying himself.

“Love,” you said softly, stepping closer. “What’s going on?”

He held up a hand, stopping you in your tracks. “Just… let me talk first.” He paused, his jaw tightening as he searched for the right words. “Do you remember that time we talked about... things we’re afraid of? Before we started dating?”

You nodded, a flash of the memory lighting up in your mind.

It had been late at night, the two of you sitting on the Astronomy Tower, legs dangling over the edge as the stars blinked down at you. Mattheo had been unusually quiet, his usual smirk replaced by something more vulnerable.

“What scares you the most?” you’d asked, nudging his shoulder.

He’d been quiet for a moment before answering, his voice barely above a whisper. “Letting people see the parts of me that actually matter. Like... my art. I’ve never shown anyone my paintings. Not even my parents.”

“Why not?” you’d asked, your heart aching for him.

He’d shrugged, staring out at the horizon. “Because it’s... mine. It’s the only thing that’s completely mine. And if someone doesn’t like it, then…” He’d trailed off, shaking his head. “Forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

But it had mattered. You’d seen it in the way his shoulders tensed, in the way his voice wavered. And now, months later, he was standing in front of you, about to share that hidden part of himself.

“I remember,” you said, your voice soft.

Mattheo’s lips quirked up in a small, almost nervous smile. “Good. Because this… this is for you. Open your eyes.”

Your eyes fluttered open, and everything seemed to freeze.

“Oh,” you breathed, your hands flying to your mouth.

It was you.

Not the posed, polished version that mirrors reflect. This was you in stolen moments—the tilt of your head when you laughed too hard, the softness in your gaze when you looked at him, the curve of your lips when you whispered his name late at night. Every brushstroke sang of affection, of intimacy only he could see.

“Matt…” Your voice trembled, your eyes glassy with unshed tears.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at you. “I, uh, wanted to make you something. Something that’s... not just words. I’m not great with that stuff. But this... this felt right.”

“You painted this?” you asked, your voice thick with emotion.

“Yeah,” he admitted, his cheeks tinged pink. “You’re the first person I’ve ever shown anything to. I don’t—usually—it’s just—”

“Mattheo.” You cut him off, stepping closer and cupping his face in your hands. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

His dark eyes searched yours, still uncertain. “You really like it?”

“I love it,” you said, your voice firm and steady. “And I love you.”

The words seemed to wash over him, melting the tension from his shoulders. A slow, lopsided smile spread across his face. “Yeah? You better. Took me forever to get your nose right.”

You laughed, and he swore it was a sound he could live on forever. Without thinking, you pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest. “For sharing this with me.”

Mattheo wrapped his arms around you, holding you like you were the only thing tethering him to the ground. And in that moment, he realized it wasn’t just about the painting.

It was about you. It had always been about you.

“It’s beautiful,” you said against his chest. “You’re beautiful.”

He chuckled, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I didn’t paint me, love. I painted you.”

“Exactly,” you teased, tilting your head up to catch his lips in a kiss. “But you see me in ways no one else ever has. And I see you the same. You-You, honey, are incredible.”

He chuckled softly, the sound making you smile. “I think that’s supposed to be my line.”

“Thank you. For trusting me with this.”

His dark eyes softened, a rare vulnerability shining through. “Always,” he said simply.

[flopsxii]

tokyo revengers boys with their crush (aka you! <3) part two!

feat. shiba hakkai, sano shinichiro, kurokawa izana, sanzu haruchiyo, kakucho, haitani ran, haitani rindou && ryusei satou

note: part two as promised! ;P enjoyyyy mwah

hakkai shiba

ꪆৎ hakkai is shy generally around people (especially pretty people), that’s a known fact. i think the easiest way for hakkai to gain an emotional attraction to someone is if he sees them often. so most likely a classmate he sees in passing, his friends sibling or yuzuha’s close friend.

ꪆৎ he would probably start gaining feelings if you persevered with trying to have a conversation with him! even more so if you gush over him and help him clean up his wounds. oh! and he also loves a compliment here and there regarding his outfits or appearance.

ꪆৎ he’d be very shy around you but would make the effort to talk to you and spend time with you nonetheless! he’d push his feelings of anxiety away as much as he can, he just can’t help it; he can’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with you.

ꪆৎ he gushes about you to mitsuya all the time! any small interaction you may share, mitsuya has heard all about it. if hakkai needs advise about anything in regards to you, his good friend is always there to help and lend an ear if he just wants to rant about how amazing you are!

ꪆৎ also is the type to have dreams about all the stuff he wishes he could say to you but feels too shy to do so. such as finally telling you about his feelings… about how special he thinks you are… how he wants to take you on one million dates and have endless conversations! however, the last one would probably take a while due to his shyness.

ꪆৎ he’d probably come out of his shell a little more if he was around you plus either yuzuha or mitsuya. if you guys are alone, good luck getting him to stop blushing and stuttering.

ꪆৎ probably would confess if mitsuya advised him to as he always listens to him. or he’d probably persuade yuzuha to let it ‘slip’ to you and see what you do with that information.

sano shinichiro

ꪆৎ shinichiro is the type to have a crush on either a friend or someone he likes from afar. of course, if it’s the latter, he’ll do anything to get closer to you and know you better personally and not on a surface level.

ꪆৎ he thinks he’s good at flirting with you, key word, thinks. however, every single time you end up laughing until your chest hurts and shinichiro is red faced with embarrassment with his arms folded, facing away from you. he’s glad he can bring you joy, even if it’s at the expense of his ego.

ꪆৎ he’s the type to always offer you rides… and if he sees you when he’s riding his motorcycle, he’ll always stop and try and convince you! the determination in his voice each time he asks is what makes you say yes. “y/n-chan! wait up! i have my spare helmet… i can give you a ride home… huh? of course, it’s no problem! i want to!”

ꪆৎ he adores it when you spend time with his siblings, it just makes his heart grow even fonder. it makes him just want to sweep you off your feet and pepper your face with kisses! if only you knew how he really felt.

ꪆৎ he’s also always turning up at your house spontaneously, with no proper reason (not that you minded). he’s always bounding with joy when you invite him inside to either watch movies or just talk. any time he spends with you is precious.

ꪆৎ as for confessing, shinichiro thinks you already know he has feelings for you. so when he asks you to finally go out on a date, it’s a shock when you ask, “you like me, shinichiro-kun?” watch how his face distorts to shock, then confusion, followed by a sad face before ranting about how he’s showed you so many signs and you just had to know!

kurokawa izana

ꪆৎ he’s very flirty, that’s for sure. even on the first time that the two of you met, izana made sure you knew how beautiful he found you and how he just has to get to know you! you found the gesture cute, even though you had no idea how deep his feelings would begin to form for you.

ꪆৎ he spends a lot of time with you, visiting different places and seeing new things. he even introduced you to his older brother, shinichiro; which is arguably a very large step for him.

ꪆৎ he loves complimenting you, naturally he wants you to know how he views you in his eyes. however, he can’t help but get mad at you if you say anything negative about yourself. even more so when you ask why he’s so worked up seeing as you weren’t insulting him directly (which to him, you absolutely are).

ꪆৎ one of the most protective boys. izana has been looking after you without you knowing for a long, long time. that time someone shoved you in a store when you were accidentally in their way? they were forced to deal with izana even if they didn’t even remember shoving you in the first place. he never hurts them too much though, he knows you’d never approve of an act of violence in your defense.

ꪆৎ izana is also the type to assume that your friendship has naturally progressed and that there’s a perfect time to casually confess his feelings. “don’t act so shocked, y/n-chan. you knew i liked you this whole time.” he’d almost purr whilst you looked absolutely bamboozled.

sanzu haruchiyo

ꪆৎ he crushes on you from a far for a while until he finds unbearable going on without speaking to you and building a bond with you.

ꪆৎ sanzu is probably the only one who will confess his interest in you straight away, seeing no need to waste time. he’s a little disappointed when you remind him that you don’t know him well enough to begin a relationship. but he’s happy to settle to getting to know you until that day comes.

ꪆৎ he’s fiercely loyal to you, as anyone can guess from his loyalty to mikey. he’s formed an untreatable bond with you and he’s sure he’ll never feel the same way about someone again.

ꪆৎ you’re also one of the only people to embrace his scars and encourage him to finally let the mask go that mucho suggested he started wearing. you’d remind him that scars are natural and beautiful in their own way. i also think anytime you compliment them, his heart would grow two sizes just because of you!

ꪆৎ he’s always showing up unannounced, wether you’re studying, working or just chilling at home. he will be doing the most to try get your attention and he won’t stop until he gets it. even if it’s you telling him to shut up and wait till you’re free. (you know he means well.)

ꪆৎ much like izana, he’s very protective over you. if he hears about anyone disrespecting you and even worse, laying hands on you, be assured they’ll get a beating from sanzu. you’d never find out, of course. he has to maintain that pretty image he has in your eyes.

ꪆৎ there’s no need to confess, you already knew sanzu’s intentions from the beginning. your whole friendship was mainly you getting to know sanzu and him waiting patiently for the way you finally accept his confession from so long ago!

kakucho

ꪆৎ he doesn’t have a lot of people in his life, aside from izana. so i think it would be easy for kakucho to gain feelings for anyone who sticks by his side for a long period of time and actually shows they care about him.

ꪆৎ he’s always bright and lively around you too! there’s never been a time where kakucho has weighed down conversations with deep topics, he’s always interested in you. even if you do try and ask what’s going on in his subconscious, he’ll gently steer you away from that topic. he would rather not ruin the light of his life with unnecessary past trauma. but he appreciates your interest in him nonetheless.

ꪆৎ kakucho is also the type to only let you touch his scar and explain exactly how and why he got it. he’s not ashamed of it, per say, it’s more he doesn’t feel the need to talk about it with anyone else except you; in other words, he trusts you.

ꪆৎ he accompanies you wherever you go at the weekend, occasionally izana will join too. however, he prefers it when it’s just the two of you so he can actually share meaningful conversations.

ꪆৎ you would also need to confess. he has the silly mindset that if he confessed, it would ruin your friendship and he’d lose you entirely. that just happens to be the one thing he can’t lose, other than izana. besides you two, he has nothing left. however, if you were to confess, he would accept you straight away with a charming smile on his face.

haitani ran

ꪆৎ it’s very obvious that ran has a crush on you. it’s not very often that either of the haitani brothers approach people with any other intent than violence. so when they see the elder brother being so gentle and kind towards one specific person, it’s a blatant smack in the face that you’re the one who stole his heart.

ꪆৎ he’s also never once raised his voice at you or threatened you. this is also a key indicator that ran has deeper feelings than just platonic. he knows he’s being too subtle with his feelings but he can’t find it in himself to care.

ꪆৎ he always takes you shopping at the weekend, it’s a weekly ritual and if for any reason, he can’t be there, rindou will step in. speaking of the younger brother, he’ll try his very hardest to get the two of you to be friends. he’d love nothing more than to spend quality time with his two favourite people.

ꪆৎ aside from himself, you’re the only one allowed to touch and braid his hair. when you questioned the intimacy of such an act, ran will simply say that you’re the only one who does it right; even though he’s capable of braiding it himself.

ꪆৎ ever since getting involved with ran, your life has gone smoothly. no one disrespects you, in fact people are so nice to you now! ran adores that he can make you happy even without you knowing it.

ꪆৎ he’d confess when the times right. there’s not a specific reason why he can’t do it at the moment, he’s just waiting for that one time where it’s a ‘now or never’ kind of moment.

haitani rindou

ꪆৎ unlike his brother, it’s difficult to even know if rindou likes you as a friend. he’ll act like you’re a nuisance to him, grumbling responses to your excited questions. however, it’s ran that convinces you to persevere with your ‘friendship’ with his brother.

ꪆৎ even if he doesn’t say much, rindou enjoys being in your presence. if you ask him for help or for advise, on the outside he’s whining about ‘why it had to be him’ but on the inside, his stomach is doing somersaults because you chose him to rely on!

ꪆৎ he’s also the type to overhear you say you need something to your friends and then within the next 30 minutes, he’ll turn up with it and give it to you without a word or get someone else to deliver it for him. only because he knows he won’t be able to contain his raging blush when you thank him profusely. he learnt this from the first time he spontaneously brought you a can of sparkling lime that you were so called “dying for”.

ꪆৎ much like his brother, he takes care of you from afar. he doesn’t want to be overbearing or annoying so he’ll do these quiet acts of kindness without your knowledge. think of it as an act of love!

ꪆৎ he doesn’t confess. ran either forces him or ran flat out tells you how rindou feels when his little brother is right next to him. his face is priceless, he’s unsure wether to be anxious at your reaction or to kill his brother. it’s a funny sight to behold!

ryusei satou

ꪆৎ he asks you out almost every single day. he promises you the earth, the moon, the stars and hell, even the entire universe! however, you tell him no everytime, reminding him you only started speaking a week ago. he doesn’t let the rejections deter him, though.

ꪆৎ he’s definitely the type to give you his jacket or jumper if you as much as shiver once. if you try remove it, watch ryusei forcibly keep it on you, a pout on his lips as he whines that you’re offending him.

ꪆৎ he’s always pulling little pranks on you. only harmless ones though just to make you smile! especially if you’re having an awful day and need a little pick me up. he’s always right there trying to make you smile.

ꪆৎ he also tells everyone that you’re his partner, even if you aren’t. he’s humbled when you correct him, “we aren’t dating, ryusei.” he’d wink at you before adding, “yet.”

ꪆৎ he also always tries to share his lunch with you, doing fake airplane noises as he raises his chopsticks to your mouth. you accept because it’s easier to do that then have your ears go mute from his complaining. you always found it so endearing that he cares about your health so much!

ꪆৎ seeing as ryusei tells you about his feelings everyday, there’s no need for a grand confession. instead when ryusei once again tells strangers that you’re his partner, he awaits for rejection once again. until one day, you agree with a small smile before wrapping your arms around his middle. this is the only day in ryusei’s life where he’s lost for words.

[bubbbii]

Early Gift

title : Early Gift

pairing : Jungkook x Reader

genre : kpop smut, bts smut, jungkook smut , very dirty content

warning : doggy style, missionary, spitting, choking, name - calling , dirty talk, hair pulling , edging , christmas sex , scratching , 21+ content

Summary :

“This is where you tell me merry christmas and bend over that counter, questions?”

[CHRISTMAS REQUEST]

[Ya’ll … i’ve been SO SICK you have no idea but i am back idk what’s been going on with my schedule but i will stay consistent all 2025 !! Merry Christmas, Happy New year .. this is dropping after christmas lol <3]

!PURELY FICTION! !NOT REAL!

do not steal idea or story without permission please and thank uu :))

Legooooooo

_________________________________________________

“Alright we got food , drinks , and the others are on their way over here” “W-Who?” I asked Jimin who looked up at me. “The others ! Our friends?” “Ok .. who, exactly” Jimin sighed, crossing his arms. “Yes Jungkook is going to be here!” “IN MY HOUSE!?” “Y/N don’t start this, you agreed and i’m pretty sure you had a feeling he was going to be here” “Ok i didn’t wanna believe it!” Jimin raised an eyebrow, having me sigh.

“Chim does he have to be here?” “Set aside your differences, and let’s have a good stay! it’s just a couple of days, it’s gonna be ok” “How you know i’m gon be ok?!” “Because my feelings never lie, they’re always right” I huffed, rolling my eyes as i leaned one arm on the counter. “Now, they’ll be here any moment … i say let’s get dressed so we can go out for a luh bit” I sulked my way all up the stairs, really not wanting to face that bitch of a man. “Cut it out! I’ll meet you in the car!” Jimin yelled from downstairs, making me take a deep breath.

You and I both know he’s not a ‘bitch of a man’, he’s the sexiest man on this earth. I have a huge crush on him, who wouldn’t .. difference is , they shoot their shot. I on the other hand flip it and make the other individual hate me. Except, that didn’t work. Instead, we had sex.

And it was amazing.

Then i found a way to avoid all parts possible, but now i cant .. because hes gonna be in MY house, in MY face … a part of me is excited, and another part of me hates myself for even having the crush in the first place. But hey, what could happen? Of course not anything bad, right?

I made it down the stairs and went outside, locking the door behind me and made it into Jimin’s passenger seat. “They’re behind us” My eyes widened, looking behind me and saw the rest coming out the multiple cars. “WHAT?!” “You should’ve hurried, maybe you wouldn’t have to witness” “Hey yall where yall goin?” “Me and Jimin goin out for a little bit, we’ll be back” I responded to Joon who was leaning against my side of the car. “Alright we’ll get everything ready for tonight. Jin found a spot so we’ll wait till yall get back to discuss it” We nodded in agreement.

Wishing i didn’t wonder my eyes elsewhere, to see Jungkook walking past us, but locking eyes with me in the process. I quickly looked away, my heart beating fast as all i wanted Jimin to do was to drive. “You saw kook didn’t you” “Drive Jimin” “Ok my bad” Jimin and Joon fist bumped before Jimin drove out my parkway and drove off.

“You know, you could just … talk to him” “Jimin don’t piss me off” “What! I can tell you right now kook has been missing you and wondered why you blocked him!” “YOU KNOW WHY I BLOCKED HIM! You think i didn’t feel a certain type of way when he took that girl out on that date !? I was crushed Jimin, i was hurt. And i know it’s my fault because i wanted him to hate me but the least he could’ve known was that i was crushing on him” “Well Y/N he blocked the girl, his eyes are on you … and my spirit says, sum stuff is gon happen” Jimin responded, making my heart beat even faster.

Jimin never lies, it’s like he predicts the future. So it’s best to trust his gut.

Time Skip .

“We’re back already?” “It’s been an hour, let’s go stop being scared” I sighed, getting out the car and went inside the house. “Where yall go?” “Oh it was just this hangout spot, it’s pretty cool i think we should all go down there tonight” Jimin responded to Jihyo as she attatched to me. “That was the spot Jin was saying! Ok we’re all on the same page on that” Joon said and we all nodded. “When we wanna leave?” “We could leave in a couple of minutes .. how about 2 of us stay back for a little bit to fix sum things then join us when it’s done?” Hobi said and everyone nodded.

“It’s only 7:30 .. who wants to take the task?” “Well it’s my house, so i’ll take responsibility” I spoke up, still linked arms with Jihyo. “Cool .. i’ll stay too, i’m quick” Jungkook spoke up, locking eyes with me as my pupils was quick to disappear. “Huh-“ “I think that’s a good idea, yall gon get the job done” Lisa said, smirking at me as my heart rate went up again.

I’m cooked .

“Why can’t Hobi-“ “Ohhh no no. Yall got that. I’m gon get ready” Everyone left in sync to get ready and i looked at Jihyo. “Don’t do this-“ “You’re gonna be just fine” Jihyo responded, squeezing my arm before leaving as well. I slowly walked towards my empty kitchen, not aware that Jungkook was right behind me. “Jungkook?” “Glad to know you still know my presence” I sighed as he made his way towards the other side of the counter.

Everything about him .. it’s insane.

“Why .. why are you - putting me in this position?” “Question is, why did you put me in a position where i couldn’t fucking reach you !?” I blinked, shocked at his voice raise. He’s hurt, i see it. “Now you’re quiet .. i WANT you, Y/N. I took that girl on that date ok sure .. but you blocked me !? You blocked me to a point where i couldn’t even reach you through any of our friends Y/N why you put me in that situation !?” I sighed, lookin at the counter as i didn’t know what to say.

“Hey we’re out let us know if you need anything alright? Yall good?” I looked behind me to see Jimin. “Yea we good” Jimin looked at me and i nodded in agreement before he left and left the house.

It was just us two.

“Look .. there’s things you don’t know Jungkook” “Ok that’s fine, i’m here for it all - why, am i blocked?” “I like you Jungkook! And you fucking know that we had sex for gods sake! You took that bitch on that date what else could i have done i was crushed! I was hurt! But who would’ve known you would be in front of me right now considering i thought i was doing a pretty great job staying hidden!” Jungkook sighed, a little smirk showing up on his face.

“Oh what’s so funny? WHATS SO FUNNY-“ “You’re gonna lower your tone” I huffed, rolling my eyes. “Come here” “Why?” “Y/N” I sighed, slowly going towards him and was now in front of the tall, smell good looking man. “I didn’t deserve, any of that bullshit that you decided to pull,” Jungkook said, his tone lowering as he dug his hands in his pockets. “And how you’re gonna make it up to me Is bending over that counter” My eyes widened a little, not daring to break eye contact as his face showed nothing but seriousness. “What-“ “Oh don’t act all shocked like we never done it .. how eager you were to do whatever i say. I still don’t see you bent over that counter”

I gulped, going in front of him and bent over the clean marble counter, arching my back naturally. “Good girl, tell daddy what you want” “Y-You .. i want you, please” “Why should i even, consider this? After what you done, i was hurt Y/N” “J—Just consider this as an … an early christmas gift yea? I need you, i want you. Daddy please” Jungkook hummed, his hand cupping and now playing with my aching pussy through the sweats i had on making my eyes roll.

“F-Fuck … daddy, like that” “You’re wet as shit. Merry christmas to me then. Top of the counter” I got on the counter, Jungkook taking my sweats and panties off and my warm hood was exposed to him. “I’m gonna have a field day” Jungkook smirked before diving in, slurping and sucking all that i had in me making me jolt in surprise. “F-FUCK, Oh my god, daddy!” “Hold still princess” He held my thighs in place, sucking me out with all his might.

I can’t believe i agreed to this, you know what? I can’t complain. I’m loving it.

“Fuck, i feel like im close already!” “You wanna cum baby? Why should i let you cum huh, what you think” “Pease .. daddy i’m sorry, i apologize i just missed you. I missed you daddy please let me cum. Let me cum please” He shyly smiled, working his tongue and pleasure rode over my body. “Gon head, cum for me. Show daddy how much you’ve missed him” I threw my head back, my eyes shut and soon came all over his face, seeing the sly smirk he hid as he sucked all the cum outta me.

“Good girl, that’s the good girl i know” “Shut up” Jungkook chuckled, taking me off the counter and turning me around, planting soft kisses on my shoulders and neck. “Feel that?” Jungkook whispered in my ear, rubbing the hard cock across my lower back causing my breath to hitch. “You know,” Jungkook started as he slowly inserted his cock inside of me. “How would you know that i even liked the girl anyway?” “Easy .. you don’t care ‘bout no other bitch but me” Jungkook smirked, humming to himself as he laid me down gently over the counter. “Sounds about right” Jungkook responded before unexpectedly began to vigorously fuck me.

He gets on my last damn nerve.

“SHIT! A warning would be fucking nice” “Oh shut up” His grip on my hips tightened, fucking me with not a single ounce of mercy in him. “It feels so good, fuck! Just like that, just like thAT! DADDY FUCK!” “Ooh there you go baby, i need you to nut again for me ok? Just for me alright?” “Yes d-daddy” “Good girl” He continued to fuck me, abusing the sensitive spot in me as heat rushed all over my body. It felt too good, almost surreal. It’s been so long.

“I-I’m close .. daddy, i’m close” “There it is” He twisted a handful of hair in his hand and yanked my head back to meet his eyes. “Now you listen, don’t ever think of blocking me, ignoring me again in your godamn life because i am not the one. I suffered godamn it for a long period of time, and i’ve got you again, under me like a little bitch whimpering and shit - you will not, pull some bullshit like this again you understand?” “Y-Yes daddy, i’m so-sorry!” “I can’t hear you” “I-I’M SORRY! Please let me cum!” “That’s what i thought, come on”

Jungkook’s pace quickened, grabbing anything i could to keep me stable as my body got more heated. “I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum daddy please!” “Cum for me baby, squirt on that dick you know you want to. Let ‘em know who be fucking you so good” My moans got louder, and i soon squirted all on his dick, hearing the chuckles come from the man behind me. “There she goes, that’s a good girl” I moaned softly, then feeling Jungkook paint my walls white, filling me up as i heard the groans coming from him.

I squeezed on him, squeezing every drop out of it before he pulled it out. He cleaned us up, coming up behind me as i felt the soft kisses on my back. “Feel good?” I nodded, humming softly as i sat up with the support of Jungkook behind me. “You know what this means right?” I locked eyes with Jungkook, both of us doing little smirks at each other.

“Sure do”

[mulberrymyrtle]

THE CHALLENGE

ONE-SHOT (PJO x reader)

pairings : (slight will solace x reader) (slight nico di angelo x reader)

SUMMARY :

In a spur of typical ADHD indecisiveness, you challenge Clarisse La Rue to an archery competition to “heroically” save the new camper.

One thing – you have never held a bow. Actually, two things, your only experience in firing something are online shooting games you were obsessed with before you came to camp.

Third thing, you aren’t claimed. So, here you are – prepared to face another “dunking” your head in the toilet cliche.

a/n : very short, spur of moment! so don’t expect something really good.

warnings : reader may use gaming terms? also to people who do archery, I apologize for inaccuracies , this is something i thought up quickly!

The snow that elegantly bows down the ground is a sight you’ll grow tired of, soon. However, with the steaming cup that flows within the air and the warmth that Will gives you when winter enters is a feeling you’ll miss, forever.

Camp has once again been shrouded in the comforts of winter, the cold shifting in the bodies of those unprepared. The piling of jackets and puffers that the Aphrodite cabin have been handing out to the shivering campers paired with the Apollo kids carolling at the early of night – the shaking of tambourines and bells ringing through your earmuffs. The grassed terrain is overfilled with litters of soft snow that squish under your boots, a satisfying crunch heard in every step. Internally, your mind is wrapped around fleeced and heavy blankets that snug comfortably in warmth – winter is here, and it’s a time where you have peace. 

Unlike the previous seasons, where in Summer – Percy Jackson changed the whole trajectory of peaceful camp life. His forbidden nature of a child of the Big 3, the prophecy, the betrayal of Luke and of course, you can’t forget that damn pine tree becoming Thalia. It was a compilation of events your brain always wants to etch out. It gives you enough headaches, you swear that both the Hephaestus and Apollo cabin have to be in an alliance to either heal or re-work your memories.

“Thank Olympus, hope no one’s gonna ruin Christmas,” the fog that erupts from your mouth makes you awe, playfully mixing in with the steam of hot chocolate.  

You hear the laugh of the boy beside you, his bright eyes squinting at your words. “Don’t say things like that, you’ll get jinxed!”

“Will, c’mon you seriously can't believe what Travis has been saying,” you huff, a nudge to his shoulder. “Not everything has to be jinxed, let camp be peaceful for once!”

The look Will gives you is half-turned smile, blonde curls shaking as his disagreement is obvious. “No no, when has camp ever been peaceful?”

That question makes you think, a little yeah, your right erupts from a slight whisper.

With the slight admission, he raises his brows – warm laughter once again emerging from his throat. “Told you! Have you seen my half-siblings running around the infirmary?” His fingers pointed at the unusually packed line that was held within the rather run-down building. Following his direction, you find Lee Fletcher bouncing around and talking in everyone – voice echoing. You flinch a slight bit, the nagging from his mouth reminiscing you to the times you wound up there, a bandage stuck to your head and ambrosia sticking to your taste buds.

“Well…” trailing off, the mug nestled in your hands – an idea popping in, a new way to battle Will’s words. “Well, that’s like normal – it’s practically peaceful enough…” 

You see the twist in his face, which makes you have to explain yourself even further. “I mean like, peaceful like when not faced with pine trees turning to humans, weird threats… that stuff! It’s different, no very- very- ultra dangerous threats!”

“Ahhh,” he finally nods, a cheer escaping your lips. “Guess you’re right, but I did hear news about Percy coming back…” he sighs, a rather big smile on his face. “That means I get to meet this “legend” camp’s been raving about.” 

The news practically has everything in your mind shattered, divided into little minions that scream murder and crowd up your thought process. 

“W-what?!” The growl that manages to bubble up makes Will jump in surprise, eyes wide.

“H-he’s gonna return?” you shake his shoulders, hot chocolate now soaked deep in the snow. The noises that come out are frantic, like an old lady spouting crazy visions paired with whined moans like a toddler not getting their sweets. “You’re joking!”

“I heard Chiron and T-thalia talk about it,” Will tries to tell you, but the constant shakes spurs his speech – bubbles of thoughts entering your ears. He gently grabs on your face, patting it to stop. The assault (and the warmth, unknowingly) has you slow down your movements, a more rational thought entering your frazzled state. He still holds onto you, and in a brief shared glance – a gentle gaze deep into yours. Your mind slowly dissipates, talking in the crisp air, his soft touch, and the snow falling onto your nose.

“You’re good at this,” you hold onto his hands, detaching it slowly – but you still hold on, weirdly enough.

“At what?”

“Calming people down,” you let go of his hands. “Like a healing touch, I guess?”

“Healing touch?” his brows are raised high, “Are you saying that because I’ve been claimed by Apollo?”

“Well, it fits?”

He lets out an awkward chuckle, “I don’t even have any abilities yet!”

“Hey, it’s just been like 4 months,” you pat his shoulder. “You’ll be able to channel some cool Apollo-like things – like… Archery?”

He gives you a disappointed whine, “Look I’ve tried everything, singing –”

“Yeah,” swallowing a lump in your throat, “that was really bad.”

“Oh, shut,” he punches your shoulder, “I’ve done musical instruments, poem writing, and archery yesterday was a big fail!” He buries himself deep in his hands, a sigh lifting from his tongue. “Gods, I'm virtually just a heatwarmer.”

Your eyes soften at his words, rubbing his hands. “You haven’t tried healing yet, right, maybe you’d do good there.”

“But healing’s scary,” he confesses, muffled sounds now on your end. “I see Lee handle that and...” He raises to meet your face, worry seeping through his expression. “I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Then… “ you mumble off, eyes darting to think of a solution. “Well medic work in the online games I’ve played were simple enough.”

“Oh my, this isn’t a game,” the slight amusement in his tone has you brighten up, “that stuff is automatic, a simple press and they’re healed.”

“Hey hey, I’m trying to comfort you.”

“It’s not effective, I can’t just find some medkits and throw it at someone and hope they’ve been healed.”

“You’re missing my point!”

“That point was?”

You shake your hands around, deflecting the conversation. “W-whatever! I… we can have Lee teach us.”

Hope shines in his eyes, “Us, you mean you’d wanna be a medic too?”

The nod you give makes his eyes sparkle a tad bit brighter, “I mean, I’m unclaimed. So there’s no skill I have, same boat right?”

“Aside from being obsessed with shooting games?”

You push him off the log, “It doesn’t hurt to learn something. Let’s just do it together. Okay?”

He groans from the confines of the snow, lifting your body to kneel over his side – cheeky smile to your face. A hand reaching over to help him up, “You up for it?”

His hand finds yours, a slight complaint from his mouth. “If there’s nothing to do, we can try.”

You bump his head in a lighthearted manner, “Hehe, I can eat the stacks of ambrosia and nectar by the cabinets.”

“Really? I’d wanna try that,” his movements slow, his gaze faced down. “It reminds me of mom's pie,” his voice held longing, seeing how his fingers grip onto his coat.

The tone he had made you pause to look at him, the reality set in despite the air of Christmas that you two confided yourselves in. That even if he was finally safe, in a haven where he had no fear of monsters creeping up to attack him and his mother. An explanation to the massive questions he had about himself – a place where he could be himself, freely. 

It also came with weird nightmares that’d have you stare in the starry sky, the fingers of death coming and closing in at the clock of your birthday, and to spend Christmas without the comforts of someone dear – you understand why his eyes dulled and his smile now neutral.

You stood up, dusting yourself up. “Well,” a rather mischievous look covering your features. “First to go there can eat it infinitely, losers only get a small bite!” with a head start, your feet dash along the path towards the infirmary. 

The cold air filling in your lungs, yet the running brought intense fire burning – the clash of these feelings made you giddy. Laughter heard between you two, Will’s steps catching on. His voice rumbling and shouting the words cheater echoed in the seeming empty woods.

The two of you found yourself streamlining through some nymphs playing by the snow, the satyrs hunched around fires, campers rolling snowmans and shooting snowballs. You had to save Will from Katie’s intense aim, her vision automatically thinking you were the Stolls.

“Woah that was a nice headshot,” you awed at her aim, “Better than those online weirdos who…”

“I’m ahead!” Will sings, blowing a raspberry to your way.

“H-hey no!”

Then you passed by the arena, hearing the clash of metal and taps of feet moving synchronously. The slings of arrows warping through the air heard within the distance.

It’s just a normal camp day, free from fear, from monsters.

It was a day where campers could be free from their obligation, the burden of being a demigod lifted for just a little second —

“Oh–!”

You tumbled down the snow, rolling down a hill, the weight on top of you has your breathing choked out. Holding onto the weird pressure tightly – was it a person?

In the disarray of everything, the bundles of white entering your vision, the cut-off breathing, and some guy rolling with you? Your ambrosia and nectar were at stake!

You two crashed on something, immediately pushing off the person.

“What the –?!”

Settling your sights on the boy who lumped against the snow, his face was unfamiliar. He had ebony hair that messily contrasted the white beneath him, his skin tanned, he looked the same age as you – 10. His hands gripped onto a figurine, you see his breathing slowly. In a quick motion, you hovered the boy with concern all over.

“Are you okay?”

With a twitch in his eyes, bits of snow littering his eyelashes. It fluttered open, and he jumped – the figure clutched used to hit your head.

“O-ow!” you staggered back, hands rubbing over the sore spot. “The hell!”

“I-i’m sorry!” the boy says, coming more into your view.

“You better be!” you roar back to him, “Why’d you do that? God that hurt!”

“You looked like a monster, “ he says in a haste, hands playing with his figure. “You know we were just attacked by one – a manticore.” He awes, bringing out a holographic card to shine to your face. “3000 ATK plus you get an extra 5 to save throws, cool right?” 

“Y-you just called me a monster!” you barked out, and though your eyes lingered on the card a bit too long you shook him off. “Look, you need to apologize two times,” you told him firmly, crossing your arms. Scanning him up and down, you figured – he was new. “That was hurtful – twice the pain and now I’ve lost the race against Will!”

He sets down the card, looking at the bruise forming on your skin (and also your heart). Holding his hands together, he mutters in a sincere tone.

“I’m sorry, for all that.” 

Silence overtakes the two of you, your defensive position slowly crumbling down. You stare at the card planted between the space you two had. The intricate designs and the holographic sticker had your eyes entrapped, the anger you also bubbled up because he made you lose the race wilting away.

“The card is… cool,” you mutter, picking it up to hand it over. “What are they?”

His face gets overcome by a toothy grin, seeing excitement threatened to burst out if he spoke one more word. “They’re Mythomagic cards!” he sputters out in a daze, closing in to you.

Before you try to say anything, a rough hand lifts you up by the collar. Then instead of an excited boy ready to say all kinds of things about cards, you’re met with a fuming girl who practically said i’m gonna kill you, kid with no words at all.

With the burly build, scars littered even when the fur coat (that looked like she hunted herself) that hung around her body. Her chopped, but curly strands entered your view and her eyes glinted a dangerous red – her grin akin to boar’s animalistic growl to take down enemies. 

“Clarisse?” you uttered in a meek tone, feet dangling above the ground. “Why?”

“You, you made this mess?” she brings your body towards the crashed crates and archery targets, throat suddenly filled. “You puny lil’ chump making me miss my shot!” she rages out, shaking you with vigor.

“But it was just a —”

“It was a bet for something,” she barked. “A bet for the next Capture the Flag game.”

Oh.

If there’s one thing about Ares kids, they don’t play around with Capture the Flag.

With one swallow of your throat, you prayed to a god and accepted your fate.

“I’m sorry Clarisse,” you begged, her steps dragging you two away. “Please don’t hurt me.”

An evil snicker ruptures through her, bringing you down to hit against the wooden frame of an archery target. With a small, condescending pat – she places something on your head.

“I won’t,” she says pointing to the pack of equally angry Ares’ kids who were stringing bows. “But they’ll help.”

“Oh, I'm just 10,” you cried out, eyes a bit watered.

“And? You need to be taught something —” her words get cut off by a snowball entering her mouth, muffling her speech. Darting to whoever threw it, it was the boy from earlier. Chest heaving as he shouted a quick “goal!” as he rushed over to your side.

But with Clarisse’s booming command the group huddled over and caught him. With new-found rage in her senses, she marches over to him and with a grip so harsh the veins popped out of her hands.

“Y-you! Oh, I can wait to get two lil’ kids knowing their lessons,” dragging him next to you.

“Let us go, you pig!” he lashes out, weak punches on trying to fight back, using his figure as a line of defense.

Picking up the figure, she mockingly waves it around. “Ha, it’ll be fun to make you my slaves.”

You worriedly watched, the scene making your body feel numbed, meant to just watch.

What should I do?

She once again laughs in his face, “Are ya’ new here? What’s your name!”

“Nico!” he shouts to her, trying his best to get it back. “Nico di Angelo – I bet your name is Ms. Piggy!”

You see the boy’s face determined, yet it glints with fear – so different from the happy look he donned. His toothed grin, and rather sporadic bounce was heartwarming.

His first time here and he was subjected to this, your heart dropped at the memories. The times you were new, the same face you shared – begging on your knees with tears streaming down your face. Even if you were in a time of peace now, they’d resurface and the guilt gnawed everywhere.

You didn’t want that again.

You don’t know if you should thank impulsivity for this, but your mouth ushered out words you shouldn’t have said.

“Clarisse! I-i’ll make a bet!” the tremble in your voice, slow steps as you walked towards her. “If I win, you leave us two alone – for a long time. If I lose, I’ll be your slave for everything.”

That makes her smile, dropping the figurine by the snow. Confidence roared through her every move, a scary tilt as she regarded the offer.

“That bet is?”

You swallowed your own saliva, that didn’t really enter your mind – you know what? Go with the flow, you internally told yourself. Taking in your surroundings, the only thing that registered was the fact you were in the archery range. With shaking hands, you grabbed a bow and gave it to her, pointing to the targets.

“It’s easy, we’ll shoot arrows in those three targets continuously, and whoever has the most points – wins.”

She gives you a wide look, “Are ya’ underestimating me? This is light work.”

Taking a good, she shakes her head. “Know what, this just makes it easier for me and harder for you. No need for goodluck,” she chuckles as she takes her position. You find that the archery range has garnered more people, a crowd forming in.

The nerves in your body shout at you, taking the hand of the boy – you settle him there in the bustling chatter of people. He only stares at you, with a gaped look and his hold tighter on the cards and figure he held.

“No worries,” you whispered, holding his gaze. “I-i’m good at FPS!”

“FPS?” he tilts his head, “what?”

“You know, video games…?”

“What? Oh like those arcade things in the casino?”

You give him a confused look, ready to explain before Clarisse calls your attention. There you see her work, and your brain could only burst up in haywire.

The first two, though not perfect, had the arrow shoved up near the target– while the third one nestled an arrow perfectly on the red dot, a bull’s-eye.

She tosses the bow to you, your hands clumsily catching it, a slight off-balance when you stumble. You walk through the crowd – recognizing the Hunters of Artemis who regarded what Clarisse did with impressed gazes. You find Will’s mop of hair, his face etched with concern, god’s they’re watching your demise.

How in Olympus were you gonna do this! The bow in your hands was unfamiliar, if it was a console or joystick you’d bet 20 drachma that Clarisse would be dead – but the actual thing? Oh, if you were in some online lobby you’d be hit with the most creative curses known to man.

However, you looked at the boy – face filled with hope, encouraging you to go on.

So even with the tremble in your hands, you did.

Just treat it like a game.

Just treat it like a game.

The words repeated in your mind, taking position.

Maybe someone took over your body, but the bow felt light – pliable and easy to mold. The string was flexible, following your movements like water. You drew your arrow, perching and fixing it. In your vision, you found yourself in the setting you were used to. The crosshair, the bow – like the gun, you went slow and waited for the perfect time. The arrow stuck to your face, the feather brushing your skin – the crisp wind slithered through your whole being. Removing you of the fear you felt, a quick surge of confidence coursing through. It was your warzone, and you weren’t gonna back down.

This is just a game.

Then you let go, the feather cutting through your cheek. It cut through fast, the bow spun and in a blink —

“Bull’s eye!” a voice says, it’s melodic, maybe someone from the Apollo cabin. But that didn’t concern you, the adrenaline seeped in – grabbing another arrow to nock on the string.

“Bull’s eye again!”

Then the dread came over again, faced with Clarisse’s perfect shot. But you turned back to the expecting crowd, and returned to face the red dot that loomed over you.

“Man, you’re too tense,” a voice rang through your mind, like a gentle whisper. “It interferes with aiming, sometimes all ya’ gotta do is shoot – “

Before camp, online games were your only escape. From the failed grades, the laugh of peers that followed you, and the disappointment that weighed in your whole mind. The feeling of bringing out your anger through shooting online randoms wasn’t the best, but it worked for you. The way you could get control, to feel a sense of victory – and to win wasn’t by hastily shooting the enemies or buying the newest gear.

All you just needed was a quick breather, a calm mind, and to take every chance.

So as you once again felt the arrow cut through your skin, the anticipation danced through. 

And maybe you were dreaming, or maybe some prayers were answered.

But the crowd’s cheering and words behind you confirmed that it was both.

The arrow spun, a fast sling – hearing the loud crunch of wood entering your ears. Seeing how the arrow pierced through Clarisse’s with a split, halving hers to pieces. You find your arrow buried deep in the target, the bundles of feathers placed delicately in the middle.

“B-bull’s eye!”

Then something caught your eye, a soft red glow reflecting off the snow. The crowd gets even louder, their stares looking at something on top of you.

You held a confused gaze, head turning around – you caught Clarisse’s gaped look. The anger seething through her skin, but it wasn’t the usual. It held some respect? Everyone gave you a hard gaze, hearing Chiron’s hooves run through the crowd.

In a sudden movement, they all bowed. You were left to only look up — the red glow surrounded a symbol. It screamed strength, power, fear even if it was a simple spear. Your eyes widened at the recognition, an audible gasp from your tongue.

“Ares,” Chiron said, his voice rigid and filled with respect. “Destroyer of men, raider of walls, master of the art of blood.”

“Hail. (Name) (Last Name), Child of the God of War.”

[moonbeamastrology]

Postcard From Spirit

Hey guys, hope you’re all having a good holiday time and a peaceful end to 2024! What we have here is an oracle reading using the deck Postcards From Spirit by Colette Baron-Reid with a little tarot for some extra sauce. The oracle deck is one of my favorites it’s such an interesting concept and so thoughtful. So yeah, I have some scenic images for you guys to choose from. You know the vibes, take a few deep breaths, center your energy, and ask your intuition to guide you to the image that holds the message for you. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest! Love you!! Entertainment purposes only :) I hope you enjoy your reading! <3

Group 1

Hey group 1, welcome to your reading <3. Right before I began I saw a scene from the game Beyond: Two Souls, specifically the chapter where she’s getting her apartment ready for that one guy? I don’t know if this is significant to you in any way, it’s actually a really interesting premise for a game so maybe check it out if you’re into gaming at all. Right now you’re being asked to take a new perspective on something. You were/are hoping for a new outcome but Spirit is asking you to be more flexible with the outcome. All is well and positivity and good vibes are all on their way to you (even if it doesn’t feel like it). Some of you may need to check your ego a bit. The ego is attached to control and specific “stories” of how something should turn out but your soul knows that the divine is in control. Pay closer attention to the feeling of what you want and less on how it looks/what it is/how it shows up. Spirit loves you so much and wants you to have a little fun with friends to help you through the tough energy. Let your friends know you need some emotional support and you will be surprised at how they show up for you. Even if you don’t have anyone in the physical to help you through this, talk to Spirit (the wind, a tree, the moon, a rock) and open yourself up to support showing up for you from strangers. You are so loved, by the universe and also… by me.. !!! <3

Tarot: The Hanged Man, 3 of cups

Group 2

I’m feeling that this is a highly spiritual group. You’re learning to enjoy the journey. There’s a recent milestone you achieved that has placed you in a position to give back to the collective in some way. Make sure to take the opportunity now, give without expectation, give for the sake of giving. The message from the card made me think of the whole Grinch thing at the end where his heart grew three sizes lol. Not insinuating that you’re a Grinch in any way but maybe you went through a heart expansion so your capacity to give to others and yourself has increased. While shuffling the tarot I saw The World card and then The Fool ended up coming out. You’re entering into a brand new cycle (it is the end of the year so that’s fitting). It will require you to utilise discernment, strategy, focus, and determination. You have created a very stable foundation for yourself to achieve your goals and dreams (love). I asked for some clarity with the seven of swords and the nine of swords, eight of pentacles, and the four of wands came out. For some of you this could be a little bit of a warning to be careful of self sabotaging behaviors. Drown out the negativity and anxiety by placing your attention and focus on your craft, get out of the doom spiral by choosing to express and utilise your energy differently. For others (and this is ONLY if it confirms your intuition) unfortunately there’s someone around you that doesn’t want you to succeed. They want you in your head, anxious and depressed, they want to attack your peace and stability. They may be doing some sneakiness behind your back. Possibly a false friend. Backstabbing. Again this is only to confirm your intuition, don’t let it freak you out. You’re probably generally unaware of it because you are protected from it. You are focused on your own stuff and stay in your lane so it’s not coming back to bite you. Just keep focusing on yourself and maybe look into different ways to protect your energy. Do not feed into it, it is not worth your precious energy. Any way lol we do not give a fuck about that nastiness. It looks like you have really gained or raised your level of emotional maturity “accepting what comes and goes”. Keeping yourself focused on the good in your life. Lowkey you are entering this new cycle as a bad bitch (even if you’re masculine or nonbinary or what have you, bad bitchery is an energy we can all embody in different ways). This cycle wasn’t an easy one for you so be proud of yourself and who you are evolving into. I love you!!! I’m sending you so much love and healing!!! <3

Tarot: The Emperor, 7 of swords, The Fool, King of cups

Group 3

You’re coming into a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of all things at this time. Possibly reflecting on your own actions from the past, which is giving you a new perspective of everything (not necessarily bad actions though). Pay attention to your heart chakra, it might need some healing/balancing. Surrendering to unconditional love, when you see yourself and “others” as peers and equals regardless of whatever made up fake “hierarchy” then loving everyone becomes easier. For some it also eases anxiety because you are not less than them either. Right now you’re really being asked to trust the universe. If you’re lacking clarity then let your own intuition guide you. You’re building trust with yourself and the universe at this time. If you have been dedicated to your goals then Spirit wants you to take some time and reflect on how you can bring in more lighthearted fun and self care. You’re in an incredibly fertile energy right now, there’s space for lots of good ideas to come in with the ability to ground them down to the physical. You’re finding an ideal way to synergize all of your great ideas and your ability to make them physical. The King of Wands is an “ideas man” and the Queen of Pentacles is all about practicality, groundedness, and creation. Tap into what you want to create for yourself and go for it. Let your inspiration lead you. Trust your intuition and what lights your soul up. Thanks for reading! You’ve got this, I believe in you! <3

Tarot: King of Wands, Queen of Pentacles

[insomniadreamzz]

Okay, you asked for freaky shit.

What about Jinx being totally in love and obsessed with fem. Reader secretly loves Jinx as well, but is dating Vi and feels a commitment to her.

Maybe one day Jinx sees Vi and fem kissing and she can’t take it anymore and loses her shit!

She goes back to her hideout and invents a serum that will make fem love her!

Ends with some rough smut 🤭

Idk if this is too dark and freaky 😅 but..…. ummm…… yeah bye

Oop I love dark and freaky stuff so here we go 👀

Jinx xFem!Reader plus little VixFem!Reader for the plot

Mentions of angst, smut, kidnapping, forced love, rough smut, blood, knife play

———

You are mine and only mine

You knew Vi and her sister Jinx for a while now. It’s hard not to since they were pretty popular in Zaun. Everyone knew them but not only in positive ways. Vi gets into fights with others, especially in the Last Drop, her temper was thin and if someone was talking shit about the ones she loved she just had to show them a lesson. Or she just gets provoked by Sevika which was enough to cause a fight with those two. Jinx on the other hand was known for her chaos. Blowing up stuff especially in Piltover and stealing stuff. When Jinx wanted something she will get it and she won’t hesitate at all, using everything she could to achieve her goal.

Even though they were sisters, they always mocked each other and didn’t really have a healthy sister relationship caused by certain events in the past.

You and Vi had a relationship going on but you couldn’t ignore the fact that Jinx began to like you as well. Whenever Vi wasn’t with you, Jinx tried to talk to you and gave you obvious signs that she had a crush on you. Besides being very chaotic and deadly dangerous Jinx was beautiful, her smile always did something to you, you hated it but you couldn’t control what you felt whenever she smiled at you. Slowly you started having a crush on Jinx as well but you weren’t the type of person to cheat. Especially not because you alresdy were engaged to Vi.

„Hey Toots!“ Jinx caught you in the Last Drop hanging out without Vi and of course she took the chance to talk to you. She was always like the wind, appearing out of nowhere as she suddenly sat beside you. The usual happy smile on her face which made your heart do a flip but you ignored your feelings at this point. „Oh hey Jinx.“ You answered, turning on your seat. „What ya doin here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Vi?“ She asked and you just nod your head in response. „Yes she will join me soon.“ You answered her and her pink eyes traveled down to your finger, seeing a ring on it which made her bite her own lower lip, you noticing she didn’t like it at all, knowing what it meant. „Is that from Vi?“ She asked with a more lower tone, her usual quirky voice changing abruptly. Your gaze went down to look at the ring, forcing a smile on your face. „Yes. Me and Vi are engaged.“ You said and Jinx‘s facial expression dropped, making you worry she would flip but she stayed calm which surprised you as she forced a grin on her face but she looked more creepy than anything else. „O-Oh? I didn’t know. Congrats.“ Her voice being a little shaky, she wanted to scream. You on the other hand didn’t know what to answer and luckily Vi appeared, finally joining you as she hugged you from behind. „Hey my beautiful girl“ She said and you turned to your fiancé, Vi leaning down to press a kiss on your lips, right in front of Jinx.

The blue haired woman bit the inside of her cheek hard, tasting her own blood. She was boiling inside, standing up from her seat. „I will give you more privacy. Have fun.“ She spat out her words disgustedly, leaving the last drop with rage inside of her, leaving you and Vi alone.

Jinx paced around in her hideout, mumbling various things to herself, her usual insane behavior. „They are engaged…she is mine though…Vi must have manipulated her…there is no way she doesn’t love me back.“

‚You aren’t good enough for her‘ She heard the voice in her head and that made her snap. „SHUT UP!“ She screamed as she threw a few of her tools off her table in rage, a little insane chuckle escaping her lips. „Oh no…no she is mine. MINE!“ She yelled once again, her gaze moving to a piece of paper on her table which she wrote down a plan to get you to love her. A plan for inventing a serum which was like a love potion. She wanted to do this a long time ago but she hesitated…long enough. Now it’s not too late, you are only engaged, she can still do something about it. Her fingers digging on the table as she looked down at the piece of paper, a few tear drops falling on it, her body shaking of rage. „Sorry sis…but you are engaged with my girl…I won’t let you marry her.“ She talked to herself before sitting down on her chair and started to work on her plan.

You were walking along the streets of Zaun alone, Vi was on a mission up in Piltover so you got bored and just wanted to take a walk which will turn out to be a huge mistake. Generally Zaun wasn’t the most save place to walk around, all those shimmer addicts hanging out in the dark corners of the streets, begging to get some of it. You were used to it though, not paying attention to their pleas. Suddenly something hard hit your head, making you whine in pain and made you black out in seconds as you fell to the ground.

The pain in your head got worse, your vision blurry as you opened your eyes to find yourself tied up on a chair, as your vision got a little more clear you noticed your surroundings being not familiar to you but the graffities drawn everywhere where familiar to you. Tools everywhere, creepy self made dolls of people you didn’t recognize hanging around and a lot of weapons. Some finished some halfway finished. You took in a familiar scent as you heard footsteps getting closer to you from behind and soon the person stood in front of you, looking down at you with a dark smile. „Look who is awake.“ Jinx said as she then placed herself on your lap.

„J-Jinx?? Why did you do this??“ You asked and she just chuckled as she wiped the blood coming from the wound of your forehead. „Because I love you. Isn’t that obvious?“ She cooed and you furrowed your eyebrows, not really understanding her. „You kidnap me because you love me? That’s a weird way of showing love don’t you think?“ You couldn’t believe she really did that, you knew she was crazy but that still surprised you. „I just saved you from doing the biggest mistake of your life. Marrying the wrong person.“

Your eyes widened in shock, she really went this far because of jealousy? „I love Vi!“ You said, making Jinx roll her eyes in response. „Uh huh…sure you do. And why did you always look at me with that intense gaze when she isn’t around? Come on don’t lie to yourself toots, you love me.“ She said and you knew she wasn’t wrong. You had a crush on Jinx as well but you were promised to someone else and breaking Vi‘s heart is not what you wanted to do. Stupid of you to marry her even though you didn’t love her to only not break her heart.

„So…are you still going to lie directly into my face? Or will you finally tell me about your true feelings?? Because I really don’t want to hurt you baby.“ She tried to give you a last chance but you just couldn’t. You promised Vi to be hers and forever hers so you refused to say anything, moving your face away when Jinx tried to kiss you, making her groan in frustration. „Ugh…you really are hard to convince aren’t you? Well then let’s go the painful path.“

Jinx didn’t hesitate as she rammed a needle into your neck, making you yelp at the sudden pain, you could feel she injected something into you but since your hands were tied behind your back you couldn’t push her off no matter how much you squirmed. Your body started to feel hot as you panted, feeling your limbs getting numb and slowly losing your vision again, Jinx holding you close as she whispered softly to you. „Shh…it’s gonna be alright. I know it hurts but the pain will go away and we will be together forever…you are mine and I won’t let you go ever…“

Your dizziness fading, eyes opening as you looked into Jinx’s eyes and when you looked at her beautiful face you felt so in love, more like you ever loved someone before. The memories of you and Vi together fading. She caressed your face with her cold fingers, admiring the look on your face, looking into your with love filled eyes, showing she succeeded. „You belong to me…“ She mumbled and you smiled, her words suddenly meaning so much to you. „Of course I am..“ You answered and that made her realize she really succeeded this time with her invention, looking like she was about to cry as she crashed her lips against yours, finally kissing you, feeling your warm lips on hers. She hummed softly into the kiss. „Mhh…this is all I ever wanted…“ She cooed before connecting your lips again. You kissed each other passionately, your tongues fighting with dominance as you both felt aroused, soft moaning escaping both of your lips into the kiss.

With a swift movement Jinx cut the rope with a knife which held your hands tied together. Once your hands were free they traveled up and down her body, sending shivers down the blue haired girls body, making her bite her lower lip before she looked at you with a smirk, the tip of her knive pointing against your throat. „I will make you never forget this…and never forget who you belong to.“ She said before dragging you to her couch, throwing down all of things on it which would only disturb you so you have enough space. As soon as you laid on your back she removed all of your clothes, looking at your exposed body like a predator would look at it’s prey. „What you waiting for love? Make me never forget this.“ You said, really wanting this and you calling her love made Jinx‘s heart skip a beat. She wanted this for so long, hearing you call her names, touching your body, hearing you moan.

„Impatient aren’t we?“ She chuckled before leaning down to place kisses on your neck, making you gasp at how rough they were, feeling her teeth bite at your skin, leaving marks everywhere around your neck and chest. But there was still something that Junx didn’t like on you, the ring. When she leaned up once again to look at your weak expression, seeing how your chest already rose up and down in excitement she took your hand in hers, removing the ring from your finger and throwing it across the room. „Now we can continue.“ She mentioned before running the blade of her knife gently down along your stomach, seeing your body tensing up before she stopped the blade right above your pussy.

„Tell me you love me.“ She demanded as she poked the tip of her knife into your flesh, threatening you but you didn’t have anything to worry about since you obeyed. She would probaby hurt you with the knife if you refused but you were drunk in love with her. „I love you, only you.“ You answered and she finally knew this is real, tossing the knife away before she went down on your body, getting her head between your thighs as she bit down on the soft flesh of your inner thighs, maybe a bit too harsh since she made it bleed, making you whimper at the playful pleasure, her tongue licking over the little wound, tasting your blood but there was something more she craved to taste for eternity. Her tongue gently licking along your wet slit, the moment her tongue reached for your clit you moaned softly. She was focused on fucking you with her mouth as she licked you harder like she was starving for it before kissing and sucking your clit, tongue slipping inside of you, making you moan louder as you threw your head back, squirming under her which made Jinx pull back, her needy gaze driving you crazy. „Just wait for a little more baby, I want us to come together.“ She mentioned before sitting up, taking off her clothes now, exposing herself now to you. You never saw someone this beautiful, she was just a goddess in your eyes, wanting to touch her so bad. „You are gorgeous my love…“ You whispered loud enough for her to her, a little blush appearing on her face but she never lost her dominance. „My love…that sounds beautiful…that’s what I wanted“ She talked to herself but you didn’t mind it, letting her continue as she got on top of you, slowly grinding her wetness against yours, making both of you whine softly at the good feeling. Jinx pulled you up to her, kissing you as both of you were grinding against each other, filling the room up with wet needy sounds, going almost crazy whenever your clit is rubbing against hers. The only thing that could be heard of you were needy muffled moaning sounds as you fucked each other like that, not wanting to leave the kiss.

Only when you both were close to cum, your lips parted as you moaned out. „F-Fuck!…m…cumming…!“ She whined before you came on esch other, your bodies trembling before collapsing on each other.

You laid in each others arms, cuddling for a while before Jinx got her usual attitude back, grinning as she looked down at you. „Heh…I got something way better for you.“ She mentioned before leaning to the side, getting something which looked like a ring she made herself with her name engraved on it. She didn’t even ask you as she slipped it on your finger. „Now you‘re my fiancee. We are going to marry and be happy forever.“ She just decided herself but you were so addicted to her by the serum she injected in you, not caring about anything else in this moment. „Of course we will stay forever. I can’t wait to marry you. I love you Jinx.“ You said before kissing her and she kissed you back, so in love with you and she will make sure no one will take you from her.

[helluvabinge]

Ok, but let’s talk about the fact that they can’t hear each other, because that means that everything they are saying is either internal monologue or things they wish they could say to each other, but these thoughts are independent from what the other person is saying.

So let’s split them up.

Stolas:

Why am I throwing my freedom away for this idiot? I would rather be dead than live life without you by my side. So if it keeps you alive…I am the mastermind, the master of my fate. Sure as the stars have shined, I’ll give my life to clean your slate. You’re my light. Only death can rend our love apart

Stolas’s motivations are the focus of the song, so there’s not a lot of surprising stuff here, but let’s break it down.

Stolas is definitely acting on a whim here. He only has seconds to come up with a plan based on very limited information about what the court knows (remember, he didn’t see any of the trial, just the announcement of the execution). He makes a decision that may be a bit brash and he definitely hasn’t thought it through, but the song gives him a moment to reflect. What am I doing? I am so frustrated and heartbroken by what this man has done. Why am I throwing my life away for him?

And of course, there’s a very simple reason. Stolas loves Blitz. He loves him so much that he can’t imagine a world where Blitz is completely gone. Despite his recent heartbreak, there’s still hope that they’ll find their way back to each other, however distant that is. Blitz’s death would be the end of that hope, and Stolas would rather give his own life rather than lose that tiny hope.

He reaffirms that he is the master of his fate. He is doing what Blitz has always given him the courage to do. He makes a decision for himself, based on his own wants and his own happiness. He chooses his fate, rather than letting others decide it for him. He can do this one good thing, this one redemptive action for this mess that he has made. He can clean Blitz’s slate and take his place.

Stolas’s fate up to now has been to watch distant lights and divine prophecy from them, but Blitz is his light, warm and present. He’s the only future Stolas wants, the future he gets to chose rather than one that is chosen for him. How could anything but death come between that love?

On the other side…

Blitz:

What have you done? I can’t live life without you by my side. What are you doing? I don’t deserve this! I realized too late. Don’t give your life to clean my slate. You’re my heart. Only death can rend our love apart.

Blitz’s vocals echo Stolas’s, but I think they reveal even more when taken on their own.

Blitz is just starting to realize what Stolas’s plan is. As it dawns on him, he starts to panic. Like Stolas, Blitz knew prior to the trial that their relationship was likely irreparably damaged and that they were definitely not getting back together. But also like Stolas, he had that tiny distant hope that maybe they could find their way back to each other. He doesn’t want to go on without Stolas by his side. He genuinely loves him and the thought of being without him has been heartbreaking. The thought that it could be permanent is unbearable.

And of course, Blitz’s self worth issues rear their ugly head as he begs Stolas to stop. What are you doing? I don’t deserve this! I’m not worth this. I’m a piece of shit. I have hurt so many people, including you. Why would you give your life for me? I did this, and so much worse. Why are you taking my punishment?

(He also says he realized too late, but it’s unclear if he’s referring to his feelings or that he realized Stolas’s plan too late to stop him. I don’t know. Let me know what you guys think.)

He pleads with Stolas, his heart, the person who finally made him want to feel, to be a better person not just for Stolas, but for all the people in his life. Stolas is his heart, and he will love that stuck up horny owl (affectionate) until the day he dies.

I love that they twined these lines together, as it does a great job of showing their relationship dynamic of constantly talking past each other. Even in this moment when they are in perfect sync, they have no idea how much the other’s feelings mirror their own.

Anyway, I love this song and I’m going to go listen to it again.