#i also wish they touched more on what tatiana says

[foreverinthepagesofhistoryy]

OTMA + Margaretta Eagar 1899-1904

“One day during Eastertide we were out driving on the Nevski Prospect, and the little Grand Duchess Olga was not good. I was speaking to her, trying to induce her to sit down quietly, when suddenly she did so, folding her hands in front of her. In a few seconds she said to me, "Did you see that Policeman?" I told her that was nothing extraordinary, and that the police would not touch her. She replied," but this one was writing something; I was afraid he might have been writing' I saw Olga, and she was very naughty." I explained that this was very unlikely, and she reminded me, rather reproachfully, that one day, some time before, she had seen a drunken woman arrested in the street, and had wished me to tell the police not to hurt her. I "had refused to interfere, saying that the woman was naughty and the police quite right in taking her. I now explained that one had to be quite big and very naughty indeed before the police would take one to prison. On returning home she made particular inquiries as to whether a policeman had come while she was out. When she went to see her parents that afternoon she recounted the whole story to her father, telling him that I said it was quite possible to live without going to prison. She then asked her father if he had ever been a prisoner; the Emperor answered that he had never been quite naughty enough to go to prison. Her remark then was: "Oh! how very good you must have been, too."

“When she was a very little child, she was one day with her sister in the Empress's boudoir, where the Emperor and Empress were at tea. The Empress had tiny vanilla-flavoured wafers called biblichen, of which the children were particularly fond, but they were not allowed to ask for anything from the tea table. The Empress sent for me, and when I went down little Marie was standing in the middle of the room, her eyes drowned in tears and something was swallowed hastily. "Dere! I've eaten it all up," said she, "you tant det it now." I was properly shocked, and suggested bed at once as a suitable punishment. The Empress said, "Very well, take her," but the Emperor intervened, and begged that she might be allowed to remain, saying, I was always afraid of the wings growing, and I am glad to see she is only a human child."

“We took the children to a toy shop, and they were told that they might choose what they liked for themselves, and also for relations and friends at home. Olga looked at the things, and finally chose the very smallest she could find, and said, politely, "Thank you very much." Vainly the shop people showed her more attractive toys; she always replied: "No, thank you; I don't want to take it." I took her on one side and asked her why she would not buy the toys. I said that the people would be very sad if she would not take more, and that she could not leave the shop without buying more. So she said: "But the beautiful toys belong to some other little girls, I am sure; and think how sad they would be if they came home and found we had taken them while they were out." I explained to her, and she and Tatiana laid in a large stock.

“Just before we went to Peterhoff that year, the Grand Duchess Olga had typhoid fever. She had been ailing for a few days, but the weather was unusually hot for the time of the year, and we thought that might be the cause and that the cooler air of the seaside would probably be beneficial to her, so the journey was not postponed. But when we arrived at Peterhoff she was very ill, and had to be put to bed at once. She lay there through five long weary weeks. I nursed her day and night, and at one time she was so ill that I feared she would not recover; but thank God she did. She wearied to see her sister Tatiana, and was very pleased when the doctor said Tatiana might pay her a visit for just five minutes. I went down and fetched her to see Olga. She stood by the side of the bed and conversed in a most amiable manner to the little sick sister. I was rather surprised at her manner, and when the five minutes were up, told her I must take her down to the nursery again. When she got outside of the door, she exclaimed: "You told me you were bringing me to see Olga and I have not seen her." I told her that the little girl in bed was indeed her sister. She cried with great grief. "That little pale thin child is my dear sister Olga! Oh no, no! I cannot believe it!" She wept bitterly at the change, and it was difficult to persuade her that Olga would soon be herself again.”

- Six Years At The Russian Court by Margaretta Eagar (Nanny to OTMA)

[raindrop-on-a-spiderweb]

Appointment in Samara is one of my favorites ever. I think about it a lot. It’s incredibly well written, and to this day, I’m still in awe of how you managed to make a blowjob far more frightening than what they did in chapter 8 or before and after that. I've never felt such paralyzing fear before, and I dare say they were being mild about it, at least compared to that sick film they did to her. It felt like I was truly there, and I could feel the men's jeans against my skin and hear their distant conversations. 

What made you write AIS? Who's your favorite character in it? 

It's totally alright to just ignore this. I hope you are well, and congratulations!!💛💛

It's really touching that you sent this. I always felt that gustatorial sensation is better than any other way of getting emotions across. In the moment, you aren't considering your emotions, just going off synapses and sensations. Being viscerally frightened is a very biological reaction, as is being very happy, or deeply angry. And honestly, sometimes it's the implicit threat that is more frightening than the threat carried out. There is nothing worse than something heavy hanging over your head in which only your mind can complete. Show, don't tell, is my shibboleth.

I have always had a general interest in geopolitics, as well as general black-ops and undercover work. I had been considering an espionage story set in the USSR for a long time before I switched ideas, and some of its elements were incorporated into Appointment in Samarra. But the general hectic lifestyle of a mercenary lent more of a flexible plotline and plot twists, and so I pivoted to something more modern. Soldier of Fortune magazine, Frederick Forsyth, The World's Most Dangerous Places (this one mainly, Coskun Aral is an incredible war journalist), and about a thousand documentaries were some of my inspirations. Things didn't exactly go as planned–I had started with a grand, world-spanning adventure diluted with espionage, political intrigue and backstabbing, but as it went on It gradually became less of a world spanning adventure and more of a contained emotional drama.

I like Tatiana, honestly. She's just a normal woman roped into a scheme way beyond her comprehension, and who even when she gets an inkling of the danger she’s in, she is still ready to throw down for the sake of her friend. I wrote her character before I met my Russian fiance but it's kind of funny how accurate it is lol. Russians tend not to make friends easily, but they're very loyal friends towards the ones they have.

Conna and Fox too–I like how Conna's backstory unfurled and how her character bloomed as the story went along, and Fox's shady backstory and unstable temperament.

Also, I unironically have a soft spot for the Romanian hooker. I love her bile and honesty and kind of wish I'd written more scenes with her. 

Thank you so much for your ask, it put such a smile on my face and I absolutely loved answering it. I hope to finish Samarra soon!!

P.S. for those who liked the Moroccan arc, this is a really good example of lodgings in North Africa, tiling, bedding, decor.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/zmxPNsjKfnzcU6k96

[mrbensonmum]

TV Shows - 3 Body Problem V

At the start of the third episode, another dead scientist is found. I noticed that I really like Benedict Wong's new voice actor. It gives a clear distinction from his role in the MCU films. Usually, I’m not a fan of such changes, but in this case, it works really well.

The relationship between Will and Jin is explored in more detail here, which I appreciate because it makes what follows more understandable. In the book, I missed this a bit, even though the author touches on it, but I felt it was a bit brief.

When Auggie discovers the game and rushes to the others, I find what Saul says very interesting, or rather how he says it. It also becomes clear that Jin and Jack don’t fully understand the game’s objective yet. As a viewer, it seems obvious, but from their perspective, it makes much more sense. They don’t know it’s about the three-body problem; they see the game world just as the Trisolarian civilizations do.

Level two also shows that the civilizations are still focusing on the wrong priorities, a point made clearer in the book. Sophon (Tomoko) later explains this. The Trisolarians always focus on survival and realize very late that this isn’t viable and that they need to consider leaving their world. This is where the series could have emphasized the Trisolarians’ dire situation more. The number of civilizations before the fleet launch is only briefly mentioned. (I know this will happen later through Sophon, but it could have been built up a bit better for suspense.)

The games Clarence lists actually exist. Here are the Wikipedia links if you want to check them out:

Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Jet Set Willy

I've been wondering if there’s an equivalent to Jin’s friend in the book, but I don’t think so. There is someone who leads a later operation, like Raj Varma, but I don’t think there’s a connection to Jin in the book.

Ah, now I remember what I wanted to write in the last post. The sound design is worth mentioning. The first time you notice it is when Vera plunges into the tank, but it stands out again in the third episode when Auggie tries to restart the nanofiber project, and the countdown begins again. It’s impressive both visually and audio visually.

What I also like about Sophon’s (Tomoko’s) portrayal in level three is how she floats. Usually, characters that float look like they’re suspended from their hips, hanging like a sack. But here, they did it differently. Either she wears a different harness, has excellent posture, or stands on a post and was then edited in. It looks different and superior, which fits her character perfectly.

I wish they had spent more time on communication and the differences between the two civilizations. (Scene on the Judgement Day with the old Michael Evans)

When Jack and Jin are invited (level four), it’s clear that while the characters in the series have the same traits as their book counterparts, some things are shifted. According to the book, Auggie should be the one to solve the game’s puzzle and go to the summit in London, since she is the series counterpart to Wang Miao, who did all this in the book. (Please don’t take this as criticism; I just enjoy noting these differences!)

Towards the end, Sophon (Tomoko) explains how the Trisolarians ventured into space and how humanity is involved.

Jin and Jack undergo a test to see whose side they’re on. We also see more of Tatiana, who in the book is just a bodyguard for Ye Wenjie. But the kindness of the Trisolarians, shown again through the little girl, doesn’t last long. Thomas Wade and Jin Cheng will learn much more later, which I’m looking forward to because it’s one of my favorite parts of the series.

We know the stakes, the characters involved, and the motives of various factions. But it only gets crazier from here in many ways.

Up to this point, there's a lot that is fascinating and exciting. When it’s later explained how some things came about or how they worked, it may lose some impact, but the explanation is even more fascinating. I find this incredibly exciting and a testament to a high degree of creativity in science fiction.

I found a quote from D.B. Weiss about the series' content and how far they want to adapt the books:

“We always wanted to get to the final page of the third book, and it’s really, really thrilling to us that we will get to do just that.”

This is reassuring, so I don't have to worry about the series ending abruptly or strangely. However, he also mentions that while there’s no episode list yet, there will likely be 8 episodes per season again. This feels too few, and I fear they might leave out important parts or alter too much.

Unfortunately, there aren’t many details available beyond the usual "What we know so far…" videos, which, in my experience, often show that the creators don’t know much and just produce useless content.

[agonybow]

WHERE IS HE TANGO??

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Hypatia to Julian and Emma

To the Blackthorn Nephilim residing at Blackthorn Manor, Chiswick

From Hypatia Vex, Fellow, Spiral Labyrinth

My greetings. Attached please find the first pages of Tatiana Blackthorn’s diary that I have translated from Purgatic. I hope you don’t mind, but I thought that Magnus Bane might shed some light on the situation that caused you to bring the diary to me, and he did, speaking of a curse upon the house. I have skipped over a number of entries related to the author’s clothes, opinions about her peers, complaints about the weather, and so on, in favor of one that I think will be of special interest (though it rather contradicts what I think of as the history of the house — Benedict Lightwood of course was hardly known to be trustworthy, or perhaps things have altered since his time. A mystery to be delved into, perhaps?)

I will be in touch soon with further translation.

Yours,

H. Vex

Dear Diary, tonight I am in a state of rare elation. It seems that my patience and care may not be as worthless as they are usually assumed to be by the members of this family. For I believe that Father has at long last come to accept and even approve of my betrothal to Rupert! (Oh, happy day, oh darling Rupert!) More astonishing, he has communicated this not by anything so clumsy as an awkward sentimental statement, but instead by taking me into his confidence, and telling me of things that I am sure he has never shared with my brothers.

It was after supper. The Terrible Gs were off whacking at each other with swords, or some such nonsense. Father usually repairs to his study, of course, but tonight he came over to me and, out of the blue, asked me to accompany him there. I dutifully followed.

There he closed the door with care and bade me sit in one of the wing-chairs facing his desk. He settled himself in his own chair and began by telling me that the Lightwood name is a powerful and ancient one.

I replied that I knew that and, indeed, never forgot it.

He continued to say that such a name brings with it great prestige and influence, but also great enmity. The adversaries of the Lightwoods were many, he said. “And I speak not of the demons we make war on, or even of the half-demons permitted to roam the earth on our sufferance, but of those of our own race, that is, the Nephilim.” He explained that there was great envy towards us, and while it would not be expressed directly, there were those who would seek to destroy us.

I asked him who he was thinking of in particular, but he demurred. The enemies change, he said, with the times; alliances form and crumble, as the varying Shadowhunter families’ interests are altered by time and fate.

(I am recording his words as exactly as I can recall them, Diary. I admire the forceful manner by which he expresses himself, and wish to take it upon myself, since the others in my family do not.)

He went on to explain that while it is not widely known, we are well-protected here in Lightwood House, not only by the sound brick and stone, but by an enchantment that affects the house and its grounds themselves.

An enchantment! I was astonished. I knew that magic was a subject of interest to Father, and that his researches led him to minor experimentations. I had no idea that he had accomplished so much. This I expressed in, I hope, a complimentary manner. He said that it had taken him several years to make the preparations, for he did not trust anyone, even a warlock paid well for their silence, with the knowledge of the house’s protection.

The enchantment is very elaborate, as I understand, and its effects somewhat difficult to communicate. Father said that it served both to prevent other Nephilim from investigating the house, and to keep areas of the house, and possessions of the family, hidden from discovery. I asked by what means did the enchantment work, and he said that it had to do with ley-lines, the seams of magic that cross the earth, and a half-dozen objects selected and placed at locations along those ley-lines that are a matter of elaborate calculation.

I pressed him for more detail, reminding him that I shared his interest in the topic of magic, but that was all he would tell. He explained that I was as yet an unmarried girl who need not trouble herself with the ways of the world—and here I finally reach the reason for telling this story, Diary.

As he spoke of me, he gave me a look, one that at first I could not translate. But soon enough I realized: he said that I was “as yet” unmarried. By the glint in his eye I understand what he was saying: you will soon be a married woman.

And so all comes clear, in a beautiful burst of triumph!

Father accepts Rupert, and will approve our marriage—

This will cause me to gain my majority—

That will cause Father to take me further into his confidence about the nature of Lightwood House and his work in magic—

Because he understands that whatever the Law may say, I am the right and proper heir of his goals and his work—

And because he intends Rupert and I to become the masters of this Manor after him!

Though my efforts have been long and arduous, Diary, and I have feared they would never come to fruition, I sleep tonight with victory within my grasp, and only pity for my poor brothers, too vacuous and pigheaded to even understand what has happened while they beat each other with sticks in the training room.

Tatiana soon-to-be-Blackthorn Lightwood

[dreaming-for-an-escape]

What do Alicent's kids, Aegon, Aemond, and Helaena think of Tatiana's kids, Genevieve and Jasper?

Aegon is basically his usual asshole self with Jasper. Like with his nephew there was a time he got along with Tatiana's son before Alicent got in his head. But even as kids Jasper always was closer with Rhaenyra's sons.

As with Genevieve, her beauty captured Aegon's attention. So he was always making suggestive comments and giving her leering stares. And this didn't stop even after hearing the announcement of Genevieve’s and Jacaerys' betrothal.

Helaena's and Genevieve's relationship is very wholesome. Genevieve accepts Helaena for how she is and Helaena likes that Genevieve gives her enough space (since she hates being touched) but also doesn't think she's simple-minded. I honestly wish they would've gotten to spend more time with each other. Helaena could've used her company especially after marrying Aegon :/

Even though Jasper was with Jacaerys and Lucerys most of the time, he doesn't think Helaena's interest with bugs is odd. He doesn't know any other girl who loves bugs as much as she does. It's different, but it's a good kind of different.

As for Aemond, he thinks of Jasper the same way he thinks of his nephews, with contempt. Mainly because he's buddy-buddy with Lucerys. And we all know how Aemond feels toward him.

But with Genevieve it's not at all like that. Her friendship with his sister Helaena stops him from hating her. Genevieve is one of the few people who actually treat Helaena with respect. Much like her mother Tatiana, who Aemond is um, rather fascinated with to say the least.

[dancing-under-the-moon]

THE CITY OF OUR DREAMS:

Cecily breathed out a sigh of relief. It was finally over. Since finding out if she was pregnant with her now infant Christopher, her and Gabriel had been making small moves to move to Idris. Since the Lightwood properties had all gone to Tatiana Blackthorn, they had started by buying a rundown house in Idris from an old shadowhunter family that has been long gone by now with no ancestors to revive their line of inheritance. And for the past year and a half they had been rebuilding the home into the new Lightwood’s residence in Idris.

It had made sense for them to move there. Gideon and his family lived there. London was becoming overcrowded, and they had decided the best place to raise their children was in a place where their kids could feel free to breathe and grow up without the social hierarchy starting up in London. And while Cecily knew she would miss her brother and his family, she knew it was best for her family, and for herself.

The grass was the same shade of green as the grass back in Wales and the stars were are bright as the adamas surrounding Alicante. It was somehow so familiar to Cecily, yet so different.

Cecily walked over to the desk near the window she had been looking out for what she had assumed was probably way too long. She began writing a letter to her parents. She would never send them, but there was something comforting about writing letters to her parents, about imagining them reading her tales and being utterly enamoured by her new life and family

Dearest parents,

I am now officially settled into my new residence in Idris. It has been quite a lot of work as I am sure you know, but it has been so worth it. Anna has already spent the entire day playing on the outskirts of Brocelind Forest with Gabriel and sweet Christopher has been enjoying the fresh air with me while I trained in the fresh air. It reminds me so much of Wales here, from the fresh grass to the clear waters.

I am overjoyed that Will has said he will soon come visit with James, even if Tessa can’t join them. I suppose it is logical, however, that Tessa should not portal so far into her final term of pregnancy. I’m sure you have heard by now, but Will is determined to believe their next child will be a girl, although I am sure she would ecstatic regardless of the sex of their child.

Speaking of children, Anna is determined to start her training now, despite her being three years old. Gabriel says she must get her determination from me. Well actually I believe he had used the word “stubbornness” but he probably meant determination as I am sure you would agree. Christopher is quite the advanced baby. He has already started crawling as though he must see everything around him. He is also a very curious child and enjoys fixing his gaze on Gabriel’s wrist watch often. I adore both of my children more than I thought possible. Although I should probably check on them soon as Gabriel is putting both of them to bed.

Anyways I love you both very much and hope to see you soon!

With all my love,

Cecily Lightwood

She folded up the letter and tipped the corner of the letter to a nearby candle, letting it go up in flames. As the letter turned into ash, she imagined it flying away in a burst of flames and away to her parents. She knew her wishes would never come true, but she still hoped that one day they might.

***

Cecily walked into Anna’s room first to see her young daughter sound asleep. She smiled gently, adjusting the sheets on her sleeping daughter to cover her small body. She tucked a small dark curl behind Anna’s ear and kissed her forehead lightly before going to the nursery.

She had giggled as soon as she opened the door to find her husband sleeping soundly in a rocking chair, while young Christopher pointed to his father’s watch, his finger following the second marker in small circles. Cecily knew her son was much too smart for his young age, but that only made her more proud.

She slowly walked and sat down on the floor next to the rocking chair, resting her arms on one of the arm rests of the chair. She gazed into her youngest child’s focused eyes and she grinned when she realized that her husband often shared the same look of concentration.

She had stayed there for a while before she lifted her baby into her loving arms, being careful not to wake her exhausted. Since Cecily had been pregnant for most of the move to their new home, Gabriel had insisted on doing all the work, despite Cecily’s protests. Gabriel had a tendency to be overbearing about taking care of those he loved, but she knew what family meant to him, so she let him be happy and tolerated his overbearing protectiveness. He had made their home everything she could have ever hoped for, and he forged their lives from nothing into everything she could ever dream of.

She set a now drowsy Christopher in his cot, and she watched as he fell asleep as soon as his tiny body touched his bedding. She then attended to Gabriel. She gently set herself in his lap, setting her hand on the side of his face, and rubbing small circles on his cheek with her thumb as he woke.

His eyelashes fluttered and his eyes opened slowly. A smile spread slowly across his face and he hummed as he saw the love of his life staring back at him. He pulled her in close and left small butterfly kisses along her cheeks and nose before landing his mouth on hers.

She gasped and giggled immediately returning the sentiment, bringing her hands up to grip his curls of brown hair as his hands pulled her closer from the small of her back.

As they pulled away from each other, Gabriel nuzzled his face into Cecily’s neck. Cecily curled into him more before she whispered “Gabriel, fy nghariad, we should go to bed.”

He nodded into her neck and groaned before pulling away from her. She got up, brushing the small wrinkles from her nightgown as Gabriel got up and the two of them went to bed.

[melanielocke]

Lost in the shadows - Chapter 7

AO3

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Taglist @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings

Lucie’s parents were putting away the groceries when the four of them entered the house. Thomas quickly texted his parents he was with the Herondales and wasn’t sure when he’d be back. Will and Tessa had noticed something was not right immediately, and while Will was making some tea, Tessa sat down on the couch with her daughter.

‘What happened, Lu?’ she asked.

Lucie recounted the story of seeing Jesse Blackthorn, and Thomas couldn’t help but think it was all connected somehow. She had never seen Jesse until now, just after a washing woman had told him his grandfather’s debt was not paid. That was not a coincidence.

‘What if Jesse came back from being dead somehow?’ Thomas asked.

‘None of you saw him, did you?’ Lucie asked.

Thomas, Cordelia and Alastair all said no.

‘He was a ghost,’ Lucie said. ‘So he’s still very much dead. And he didn’t stay around to talk. I thought he was going to, I thought he wanted to, but then he was gone. And I don’t understand any of it. Why here, why now? I thought he’d moved on to wherever dead people are supposed to go, and I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a ghost who’d returned from there.’

‘You might not have been wherever Jesse’s ghost was before,’ Thomas offered, but Lucie determinedly shook her head.

‘He would have come for me,’ Lucie said. ‘I know what we had wasn’t really romance, but he was still a dear friend and he would not have left me. I looked everywhere for him. And he’s never been here in his life, it makes no sense for him to come to this place.’

‘It must be connected to my grandfather’s debts,’ Thomas said, and he recounted the story for Cordelia and Lucie. He suspected Will and Tessa already knew most of it, but Lucie and Cordelia knew nothing and Thomas was afraid telling Lucie Jesse’s death might not have been an accident was a bit much. It was an odd sort of guilt Thomas felt while discussing Jesse. It wasn’t his fault exactly, that Jesse had died, but perhaps if he’d died Jesse would have survived and gotten better instead. Why did he deserve to live and not Jesse? Why had he survived?

‘Thomas, perhaps you should ask your father to contact Tatiana,’ Tessa suggested. ‘Perhaps she knows more.’

Will shook his head though. ‘Tatiana is mad as mouse trapped in a teapot,’ he said. ‘She never took her father’s death well and blamed it on anyone involved in the matter. Me, Jem, even her own brothers. And when Jesse died, I think she decided we were all evil and out to ruin her life. She thinks we turned her brothers against her, killed her father, and let her son die. She might even blame Lucie for Jesse’s death since she never approved of them spending time together. I don’t want her anywhere near you, no matter what information she might have.’

‘My father has been trying to call her and has left several messages. So far nothing,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t think she wants us to contact her, but if we told her Jesse’s ghost was here, do you think that would change her mind?’

‘Or perhaps Jesse’s ghost appeared because Tatiana made a dark deal of her own,’ Will said. He stared out of the window thoughtfully. ‘In which case, perhaps it is our duty to stop her. None of which is your responsibility.’

Thomas suspected Will had been fighting against the supernatural at an age younger than he was now, but there was a reason he’d stopped. He imagined the price had been too high, and perhaps he regretted going up against monsters at such a young age. Perhaps it had left scars.

‘Sometimes doing nothing is more dangerous though,’ Thomas said.

‘Exactly,’ Lucie said. ‘I need to find out what happened to Jesse, we have no time to waste.’

Like Thomas, Lucie was both reckless and stubborn and he didn’t think any amount of discussion with her parents was going to stop her.

Will sighed. ‘You’re just like me when I was your age. Always running headlong towards danger. I suppose I can’t stop you. But I hope you can be careful. Speaking with ghosts is one thing, but running after the son of Tatiana Blackthorn…’

‘Will, I think we’re going to have to try and remember as much as we can from Benedict Lightwood,’ Tessa said. ‘Any detail could be crucial, anything we missed at the time. I suppose Gideon knows the most.’

‘I can help with that,’ Alastair said. ‘To remember, I mean.’

Alastair explained his ability and Thomas realized he hadn’t told anyone besides him and his family, since everyone except for Cordelia seemed surprised and confused.

‘An interesting and useful ability for someone who investigates the supernatural,’ Will mused. ‘If someone claims to have seen someone, you could objectify it for yourself and figure out what it is before fighting it. I got into some dangerous situations myself because sighted people didn’t know the difference between a werewolf and a wulver.’

Thomas didn’t know what the difference was between a werewolf and a wulver, but was glad he’d never encountered either.

‘That’s not… I’m just trying to save Thomas. I don’t want to fight like my father,’ Alastair said, refusing to look Will in the eye.

Will nodded. ‘That is a wise decision. Life fighting evil isn’t for everyone. It is a hard life and it leaves its scars. But those scars are, unfortunately, the price that some of us must pay so the rest can be safe.’

Thomas noticed Alastair tensed up, but he didn’t say anything. Thomas wanted to ask if he was alright, but Alastair seemed so closed off and he didn’t dare. He remembered Alastair being like this at times at school, and Thomas had learnt that approaching him when he was in such a state led to him lashing out. His attempt, Thomas suspected, to conceal how vulnerable he really was.

‘Alastair, why don’t you go see Gideon?’ Tessa said in an attempt to break the awkward silence. ‘I think he is the most likely to remember anything useful. In all the time he didn’t know the supernatural was real, he still might have picked up information he didn’t understand at the time.’

Alastair didn’t say anything, just nodded and picked up his bag and left.

‘I’ll go too,’ Thomas said and he quickly followed Alastair, who was already outside when he caught up..

Alastair was still tense and Thomas wished there was something he could do to help, but he wasn’t sure what exactly was going on.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, reaching out his hand and dropping it.

He wasn’t sure Alastair wanted to be touched, even if his first instinct was to offer him comfort through a hug or a hand on his shoulder. He knew Alastair’s anger, and even if Thomas knew Alastair didn’t mean the rude things he said, it still hurt when he lashed out.

‘I’m fine, Lightwood,’ Alastair snapped.

Thomas wasn’t sure what to say. Alastair had always called him by his last name back at school, which Thomas had taken as an attempt to not let him get to close, as if using his first name implied they were friends when Alastair did the best he could to keep everyone at an arm’s length. He thought they were past that, though. They’d spoken so openly this morning in the woods, even if he could tell Alastair had scars he wasn’t ready to reveal. That was alright though, because Alastair was more than just his scars, or his memory ability. Thomas had loved talking about Alastair’s interests, he loved how passionate Alastair could be. Now he struggled to tell what Alastair was feeling, and if he liked Thomas’ presence at all.

‘Was it something uncle Will said?’ Thomas asked.

Technically, Will wasn’t his uncle, but Thomas had always called him that. He viewed Lucie as his closest friend, but also as family. Will’s sister Cecily was his aunt through marriage though, so in that regard the Herondales were almost family.

‘I’m perfectly fine,’ Alastair said between his teeth. ‘Stop pretending I’m fragile.’

Thomas took a step back, hurt. He knew Alastair didn’t mean it, he knew Will’s comment had upset him and this was how Alastair defended himself. Thomas didn’t think Alastair was fragile, far from it, but it was obvious he wasn’t alright, wasn’t it? He didn’t want to make Alastair uncomfortable, but he wished he could be of more help. He wished he knew how to support him.

Thomas couldn’t deny to himself that he still had feelings for Alastair. After this morning, after getting a glimpse of who he really was, Thomas only loved him more. Knowing Alastair was gay, there was a chance Alastair could like him back. He began to suspect it wasn’t that easy though.

‘I know you’re not fragile,’ Thomas said. ‘But it’s alright to admit that things bother you. I know you’ve been through much more than any of us can imagine and honestly if it were me I wouldn’t be able to do half the things you did. I’d be a crumbling mess.’

Alastair stared at him for a moment, Thomas could tell he was thinking. He seemed confused, furrowing his perfectly shaped brows. Even Matthew had agreed there was something special about Alastair’s eyebrows.

‘What do you know about what happened to me?’ Alastair asked, but it wasn’t as hostile as he’d expected. ‘Did they tell you too?’

Thomas assumed with “they” Alastair meant the Herondales. ‘Not much,’ he admitted. ‘I know something is not alright with your father though. And since uncle Will warned us about drinking, I’m guessing maybe he had a drinking problem? And I think it upsets you when people describe him as a hero who fought monsters and kept people safe. Or when people talk about how his life as a hero left scars. Because it dismisses you, it implies that what happened to you is just collateral damage.’

‘My father was a hero,’ Alastair said but there was no admiration in his voice. His hands were shaking and Thomas realized he was still very upset. ‘He did all these things Will talks about, and when I was a small child I used to curl up in his lap and listen as he told stories of his adventures. And I think they’re right that it had a cost, that what he saw was the reason he started drinking. But that’s no excuse for how he treated me, is it? I don’t want to empathize with my father, not after everything he did to me. People can talk all they want of how noble he was, and that being a hero leaves its scars, but what about me? What about my scars? Do I not matter?’

Thomas wanted to touch Alastair, hold his hand, put his arms around him and hold him close, but feared he would only make it worse. Alastair could be difficult to read at times, even to Thomas who prided himself on his ability to read people.

‘Of course you matter. It’s alright to hate him,’ Thomas said. ‘Or feel however you want to about him.’

‘I do. I hate him,’ Alastair said. ‘But for a long time I also loved him. And I kept trying, kept hoping that he would change if only I did better.’

There were tears in his eyes, Alastair wiped them away with shaking hands.

‘It’s not your fault,’ Thomas said. ‘Recovery from addiction is a long and difficult process and that was never your responsibility. And making sure you and Cordelia were safe was his responsibility as a parent.’

‘He never cared,’ Alastair said, and although Alastair seemed a bit calmer, his hands were still shaking and the tears in his eyes were still there. Will’s comments, although unintentional, must have been very upsetting. ‘My mother spent years trying to convince him to go to a clinic. Not so long ago she asked Jem to convince him, but I don’t know. I don’t think he wants to get better.’

‘That must be difficult,’ Thomas said. ‘Does Jem keep you informed on how your father is doing? Do they still see each other?’

‘I think Jem’s still trying with my father, but I’m trying to get away from him,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve asked him not to keep me informed. I’d rather not know. Come, we’re almost at your father’s cottage. Searching his memory is probably going to take some time.’

Thomas took Alastair’s comment as an attempt to end the conversation about his father and didn’t press. At the cottage, Thomas realized his parents weren’t there, and when Thomas checked his phone he saw his father had texted that they were taking a walk and his mother wanted to try if she could find the washer woman Thomas had seen.

Thomas texted back, explaining how Alastair intended to help with the memories, and then made them both some lunch since neither had eaten since breakfast and Thomas was starving. Ever since his growth spurt, Thomas had an insatiable appetite. He and Lucie used to have eating competitions, but Lucie was starting to get insecure about eating a lot because she’d gained weight. While eating a lot was generally acceptable for teen boys, it was frowned upon for girls. Thomas missed it. It might be weird and stupid, but it was theirs and it was fun and Thomas was quite good at it. They decided to play chess to pass the time when they were finished eating.

Thomas was decent, but rusty. He’d taken chess classes sometime at school but hadn’t played in a while, and tended to miss important details as he played. He stood no chance against Alastair.

‘Cordelia and I played a lot of chess,’ Alastair said. ‘She’s a bit better at it than I am. My mother taught us, chess was originally a Persian game and she thought it was important we knew how to play.’

‘Really? I didn’t know.’

‘The term check derives from the Persian word ‘Shãh’, which means king. Checkmate comes from ‘Shãh mãt’, meaning the king is helpless.’

‘And your family is from Iran, right?’ Thomas asked.

‘My mother is,’ he said. ‘My father is English. I was born here in England, but my mother raised us with Persian stories, the language. She wanted to keep us connected to our heritage.’

‘Are you or your family religious?’ Thomas asked then.

‘I’m not. My father didn’t want to raise us with religion. He was raised a Christian, but I don’t think he really believed anymore. My mother is Muslim, so I am familiar with her religion, but I’m not yet sure what to believe. Growing up with so many stories of the supernatural, it’s easier to believe what I can prove is out there and having faith in something I’ll never be able to prove is something I find difficult.’

‘I agree with the last part,’ Thomas said. ‘But neither of my parents are religious, so I guess it makes sense. I wouldn’t say I’m atheist, it’s more like I think anything is possible.’

‘No, I’m not atheist either,’ Alastair agreed. ‘I don’t discount what my mother believes, but I can’t be sure either and that’s what I find difficult.’

They played two more games of chess before Thomas’ parents came back, both of which Alastair won. Thomas acknowledged he would probably never win at this game, perhaps another time they could play something different.

‘Did you find anything?’ Thomas asked.

‘No, nothing,’ Gideon said. ‘But I got your text, although I’m not quite sure I understand what Alastair can do.’

Alastair explained his ability, and after several questions his father seemed to understand.

‘Thomas, I think you two ate all the bread,’ his mother said as she checked the cupboard. Thomas guessed that was true, his parents still tended to underestimate his appetite, and they might not have counted on Alastair eating here too. ‘Maybe you could go into town and buy some before the shops are all out.’

Thomas turned to Alastair. ‘Do you need me to stay here?’

‘I wouldn’t want you to starve,’ Alastair said. ‘And it might be best not to bring too many people into someone else’s memory. I’m a bit unpracticed.’

Thomas took the car and drove it to the village. He’d gotten a driver’s license a couple of months ago. He had to make a few adjustments to the chair’s position so he could fit into the driver’s seat, and most cars were uncomfortable no matter the adjustments. He parked the car near the grocery store and was relieved to find they weren’t out of bread yet. Just to be sure, Thomas also bought some snacks he knew were vegan. You never knew when you suddenly craved something sweet, or salty. And he didn’t know what Alastair liked, so he bought a wide variety so he’d be able to offer him something he like. At the check out he felt a bit like Harry Potter after buying everything from the trolley, and Thomas didn’t meet the cashier’s eyes as he paid.

While taking his bags back to the car, he caught the eye of a woman with brown hair. He only noticed her for a few seconds, after he’d put his bags in the trunk of the car, and realized she must have been staring at him. She turned around before Thomas could get a proper look at her, trailed by a pretty blonde teen girl. He was just being paranoid, he told himself. Perhaps there was something weird about his clothes he had not noticed, or another logical reason she might have stared. Thomas pushed down the feeling of unease and got in the car, driving back to his parents.

[cant-think-of-anything]

Pirate AU (Part Five)

Lucie watched Alastair gently clean his sisters wounds before bandaging them up.

Knowing how much they cared for each other, she had expected Alastair to be angry. And though he was ready to quite literally murder Tatiana, he didn’t seem mad at her. Lucie couldn’t say the same for herself. 

Cordelia had gotten hurt. She could’ve been killed if she wasn’t protecting Lucie. Dragging her out of her spiraling guilt, Thomas pressed a cup of tea into her hands, warming her cold fingers. He was also watching Alastair. 

“You could not have done anything to prevent this Lucie.” 

Lucie stilled. Thomas had arrived with Alastair who ended up sending a message to Eugenia. The three of them had helped Lucie clean up the glass and left Alastair to address Cordelia’s shoulder since he was the only one who knew any form of medical training. When Lucie had questioned him, he responded he knew how to do many things, like baking and tattooing. She had decided not to ask if he was being sarcastic. 

Thomas and Eugenia seemed fueled with purpose. Upon telling them Tatiana Blackthorn, the same woman responsible for the public marriage scandal between James and her daughter a few years back, was the one who had killed Barbra, they seemed more focused on vengeance than anything.

Eugenia snapped her fingers loudly. “Oi! Lucie, Thomas get over here.”

Alastair and her cousin had spread out a map of London they had acquired from the library. Combining the information that had come from Alastair and Lucie, they had placed that Tatiana was indeed another pirate, and apparently belonged or led one of the scariest crews to exist. Which was really just delightful for them.

After locating the ship’s docking point, Alastair had gone earlier, confirming that the ship was there and, judging by the symbol carved into its wood, the correct ship. 

“We need to get in somehow,” He said quietly while studying the maps.

Suddenly, Thomas looked up. “Christopher.”

“Who?” Alastair asked, staring as if Thomas had lost his mind. 

“My cousin, he makes things, if we need to break into a ship he’s quite good at making destructive things.”

And that, seemingly, was all it took. As her friends packed their items, discussing quietly, she watched Cordelia, still asleep, breathe softly in the firelight.

“I don’t want to leave her,” Alastair said, startling her. “But I trust you’ll take good care of her.” 

Lucie turned her face away. “For what happened… I’m sorry.”

Alastair looked up, surprised. "You needn’t apologize for that. My sister makes her own decisions, however ill-advised they may be sometimes. She won’t blame you and nor do I.”

Before Lucie could respond Eugenia rapped her knuckles on the door to grab their attention. She watched as they left, leaving her alone with an unconscious Cordelia. Mostly alone she thought, looking at her very tall friend who was staring at the fire. She sat next to him, crossing her legs on the couch and letting her head fall against his shoulder.

“Pirates,” He whispered, shaking his head lightly.

“Indeed,” Lucie responded before adding “Thomas, darling, have you seen what they wear?” 

Thomas laughed and bade her goodbye, following Alastair and Eugenia. 

~~~

Eugenia thought she had met her fair share of quiet people, but being in a carriage with Alastair was like being in a carriage with a well dressed mannequin. Thomas had mentioned needing to drop by one of his other friend’s houses and promptly abandoned Eugenia. 

“You found my brother.” She said, cutting into the silence.

“I did,” Alastair replied, still staring out the window.

How was it even possible for a person to talk this little? Eugenia made a frustrated noise and waved her hand in front of his face, smiling at his scowl.

“I’m trying to thank you,”

“I found your brother entirely by accident. I don’t think that’s praise-worthy.”

“Well you saved him by the sounds of it.”

“He told you?” Alastair sounded surprised. “Well I suppose I did it out of instinct. And a bit of thought went into how you would feel.”

Eugenia smirked, pretending to swoon. “He cares!”

Alastair swatted her arm before reaching into his coat. When his hand withdrew, there was a silver longsword in his grasp, the hilt littered with rubies. She sucked in a breath and reached her hand out to touch the engraved handle. She felt a jolt of surprise when Alastair gave it to her.

“All our weapons are gold anyway. It wouldn’t match. Try not to get yourself killed.” He went back to staring out the window, but Eugenia found she didn’t mind. 

~~~

Thomas ducked into Christopher’s lab, cursing London’s tiny doors to find his sister and Alastair already seated there. 

Christopher’s head was bent over his notebook, his hair nearly catching flame on an open fire before Alastair threw a damp towel at his head. 

“Thomas!” Christopher greeted, his face lighting up. 

“We need your help,” Alastair said. He seemed to hate any form of pleasantries. 

“With?”

“We need to get into a… very thick wooden box,” Eugenia cut in.

Christopher’s face clouded, and Thomas could practically see his mind working. Christopher was the smartest scientist in London and that Thomas could say with entire surety. He didn’t like keeping things from him, they had been inseparable for so long but this was not his secret to tell. 

He listened as Christopher told them what all he needed to create such a substance and Eugenia rose, offering readily to go to the market. Thomas thought he saw a flash of silver in her coat but she was gone before he could ask. His cousin’s face was in a deep revere of thought it seemed so Thomas left the room, Alastair close behind. 

~~~

Eugenia wished the cobblestones on the ground of this godforsaken market would swallow her up whole. She quite liked the boisterous activity and the loud arguing. What she did not feel so fond of was crouching in the alleyway like a lowlife trying to avoid her own family. Matthew Fairchild and Anna Lightwood were known to frequent illegal places and as much as Eugenia loved them, she wished she could snap her fingers and make them disappear. If they found her here they would certainly tell the rest of their friends, and Eugenia couldn’t risk putting Lucie and Thomas under scrutiny now. 

“Hello?” 

Eugenia cursed vehemently before turning around to face whatever person called out to her. 

And oh, Eugenia was going to positively faint. Someone would have to drag her out of the market and send her body home. There was a woman standing in the alleyway, a hat shaded half of her face but Eugenia knew it was just as lovely as the rest of her. The mystery woman brushed long black hair out of her dark brown eyes to study Eugenia. 

“Are you all right?” The woman asked with her perfectly shaped lips moving to help her up. 

No. “Yes! Of course.” 

She looked amused. “Is there a reason you're crouched in a dirty alleyway then?”

“A perfectly normal, justifiable reason yes.” When the woman waited for her to elaborate she added “I can’t let my family see me here.” 

“Ah,” She responded before sticking out her hand. “I’m Kamala.” 

“Eugenia.” 

“I came in through a back exit, I can take you through there.” Kamala hesitated then, and Eugenia realized that their hands were still interlocked. “If you would like that.” 

Well she couldn’t have said no to that.

~~~

Alastair, it seemed, liked to perch on dangerous places such as the third floor balcony. Thomas was caught between the urge to join him to see the appeal or pull him off so he wouldn’t get hurt. 

Thomas watched as he tipped his head back, his perfect dark hair rustling softly in the wind. Moving closer hesitantly, he placed his forearms on the railing, seeing Alastair’s eyes open from the corner of his vision. 

“Are you okay?” The words slipped out on their own accord.

Thomas turned, facing the shorter boy fully. Alastair’s entire being seemed stressed and worried and while Thomas understood why, an irrational part of him wanted to see if he could fix that. 

“We might die.” 

“Not a pleasant thought.” 

“I don’t care much what happens to me, but Cordelia and my mother can’t survive on their own.”

“Why? Cordelia seems capable enough.” 

Alastair shook his head, turning his eyes away as if he’d said too much. 

“Where have you sailed?” Thomas questioned, leaning back onto piller, sensing the signal for a subject change. He also couldn’t quite wrap his head around the “pirate” thing. 

“Many places. All of them were better than this repulsive town.

That startled a laugh out of Thomas. “I can understand that. I wish I could leave this city too sometimes.”

Alastair leaned closer and cocked his head to the side “Where would you go?”

Thomas flushed and leaned back. “Anywhere I suppose.”

Alastair looked as he was going to respond but the door banged open. Thomas jerked away, just realizing how close the two of them had been to look at Christopher. 

“Eugenia’s back.” He called, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked back and forth between them. 

~~~

Cordelia felt as if someone had an iron arm clamped to her shoulder and was shaking her brain vigorously. She opened her eyes and groaned at the stabbing light. 

“Cordelia?”

Lucie, she tried to say but found that she could not. She felt an actual hand wrap around hers and soft fingers brush hair from her forehead. 

“It’s okay, don’t say anything.”

Slowly, Lucie’s outline cleared and she could see her lovely blue eyes hovering a few inches from her face. Suddenly it was hard to breathe for entirely different reasons. 

Lucie gently laid her hands on Cordelia’s arms, careful not to disturb her wounds. Cordelia found herself suddenly overwhelmed with how close her fire-lit skin was, the hesitant brush of an escaped curl against her neck. She never wanted to pull away. 

“I know you just got hurt on your shoulders,” she started hoarsely, “but I thought…” 

Cordelia, finally able to find her voice said “Never blame yourself Lucie. If it were to protect you I would do it a thousand times over.”

She heard Lucie’s breathing stop before she pulled away slightly, much to Cordelia’s disappointment. 

“They found the ship. We’ll find her too.” Lucie’s eyes blazed bright. “I want you to teach me, show me how you wield your weapons, set your ships on water. She took far too much already and I refuse to let her take more.” 

~~~

You know that one tik tok audio that’s like- “Everyone is just who they are and who they are is just stone cold gay?” Yeah that’s this fic

ALSO someone help me out who’s taller in Joshwood?

Tagging: @adoravel-fenomeno and @barbra-lightwood (Also I didn’t say this before but I can add you if you want)  

[theinfernalmemes]

I JUST FINISHED CHAIN OF IRON AND IM IN SHOCK HOLY SHIT *MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW*

so let’s describe my thoughts and feelings through the class of memes 🧎��‍♀️

RIGHT OKAY THE MATTER OF SHIPS 🛥

JORDELIA:

PLS I WASNT CONVINCED ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP LAST BOOK BUT NOW I AM FOR SURE ONG I WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING THROUGHOUT THAT LAST BIT WITH GRACE AND MATTHEW UFHEHGK ALSO WHEN THE BRACELET BROKE I SCREAMED ALOUD LIKE YUHHHHHHHH anyways i’m a jordelia shipper most certainly

JESSE AND LUCIE:

MY FAVOURITE SHIP EVER! I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT THEIR DYNAMIC IS MOST BEAUTIFUL LIKE PLS THE GHOST AND THE GIRL WHO CAN SEE HIM, FALLING IN LOVE??? THATS WHAT I NEED. THEIR DECLARATIONS OF LOVE ALMOST HAD ME IN TEARS AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON US SEEING HOW JESSE SEES LUCIE OMG TRUE LOVE AT ITS FINEST IVE LOVED THEM SINCE COG AND THAT HAS ONLY INCREASED IMPOSSIBLY

ANNA X ARIADNE / THOMAS X ALASTAIR:

miss clare really said no❤️ to the gays this book, yes we got steamy scenes BUT NOTHING ABOUT THEIR LOVE AND IM STILL SO UPSET ABOUT ANNA AND ALASTAIR DENYING THOMAS AND ARIADNE TO PROTECT THEM LIKE SHUT UPPPPPP JUST TAKE THEM BACK I BEG

GRACE AND CHRISTOPHER:

I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

their little scene in the carriage last book hooked me in and their time in the lab had me IN LOVE god i live for their dynamic and i want kit to show her what it is to be loved because she truly is misunderstood and now i’m so happy that she broke the mirror with tatiana I WAS LIKE YES BITCH BREAK THAT GLASS

MATTHEW AND SOBRIETY:

when cordelia came up with the condition for his sobriety i was so HAPPY god i love my bb cordelia bringing together one of the most important ships MATTHEW DESERVES HAPPINESS AND SOBRIETY PERIOD. i want him sober before cassie even DARES to give him a love interest so that’s that.

CHARACTERS AND THEIR ARCS:

jess blackthorn the loml:

jesse blackthorn is one of my favourite characters EVER and omg i was in pure shock when the reveal was that he was the killer LIKE BRUH i had a little inkling but i didn’t expect cassie to actually go through with it PLS anyways my best boy is back now and if someone so much as touches a hair on his head i will riot at dawn 😀

james herondale my blind boy:

oh james i do love you. he’s the most thoughtful son of a bitch and i’m so happy that he now knows what it is to feel real love and not the burdened affection he was forced into by the bracelet and tatiana’s madness

christopher lightwood softest boy:

i love my lil science boy and i was so happy when he got to speak to grace without feeling the need to hold back for the sake of others like YES BB GET EXCITED WITHOUT REMORSE YOU DESERVE IT ASF

cordelia and lucie ✨herondale✨:

babes imma need y’all to think for a minute. CORDELIA DONT YOU DARE THINK ABT NOT BECOMING LUCIES PARABATAI LIKE COME ON i also wish cordelia didn’t get so upset about being lillith’s paladin like ik it sucks but they’re here for you <3 and lucie imma need you take a breather DONT GO KILLING URSELF TO PULL A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN scary asf omg

honourable mentions:

- alastair sweetie i love you but STOP PULLING THIS SHIT ON THOMAS i get that you don’t wanna be a bad influence or whatever BUT UR DEVELOPMENT IS GOING STRONG SO STRONG LETS NOT STOP NOW

- same goes for grace tbh i’m proud asf for her for saying no to her ABUSER like yes bb you go girl and keep up that development

- when anna cried i was hurting with her omg i just wish she would open herself back up again to ariadne so she could be truly happy

- ariadne my determined little angel pls don’t give up on our bb anna

- thomas ily just trust in alastair and try to win him back ik you can

- MATTHEW PLS PLS PLS LOOK AFTER YOURSELF i would also like you to focus on your sobriety and get over cordelia asap it is in your best interest babe

- charles don’t even dare to fuck up what thomas and alastair have i’m not in the mood, get yourself a parisian boyfriend of sumn

- okay but like eugenia is such a badass like?? give her more scenes pls

ANYWAYS THERES THAT expect some memes momentarily as i’m utterly in love

[livia-dovehallow]

future talks - gabrily

in honor of yours truly managing to score tickets to MARINA’s virtual concert next month with an afterparty pass and t shirt before they sold out, here is a un-related fluffy piece for our favorite shadowhunter couple to have ever existed !!!

Characters: Cecily Herondale, Gabriel Lightwood, Gideon Lightwood

Time/Place: 1882, London, England, UK

Documents scattered the library table in an unorganized shuffle of thoughts. Cecily scanned the names of each sheet of paper before her looking for the one she needed in that moment, growing more and more frustrated the longer it took her to find it.

Gabriel sat beside her searching as well. He had not made any sound of frustration as she had been doing but his face gave away that he felt the same way. Only Gideon across from them remained calm, though if a bit exasperated. “It’s not here, Gideon,” Gabriel stated for the third time in the last five minutes. He tossed the stack of papers he had in his hand back onto the table with a sharp slap. “How could it be missing? It’s the most important sheet of paper in this mess!”

“There’s no need to get cross,” Gideon said calmly, which only aggravated his brother more.

Cecily set her hands on the table, palms pressed against the solid wood, and inhaled slowly. Both boys ceased their bickering. Gabriel set his hand over hers gently. She looked at him, then at Gideon. “Is it possible to get a new one, Gideon?” she asked, tired. “If there is a fee, you can charge it to my brother.”

Gabriel let out a short puff of air meant as a laugh and squeezed her hand. Gideon began to gather his own set of papers, organized as he kept them always, and began to stand from the table. “I will go see if they can provide a new print now, that way if it will take time to arrive, we can still get it in before the ceremony.”

“Thank you,” Cecily said and smiled gratefully. Gideon nodded, and with a quick smile and wave, he left the library to the Hall of Records in Alicante. She turned to Gabriel, who still had her hand in his, and squeezed his fingers. “It’ll be all right,” she assured him.

Gabriel nodded and dropped his tense shoulders. She’d noticed how stressed and tense he had become over the last few days. Their wedding was only days away, and after years of courting and engagement, she knew he was as restless as she was to finally be married. “I know,” he answered with a small smile. “I just want everything to go smoothly. No hiccups or problems.”

Cecily laughed and threw her head back onto the backrest of her chair. “When has there ever been a no-problem event among this group of people, hm?” She turned back toward him and admired the way his cheekbones were enhanced by the witchlights in the library. “Gideon will find us a new marriage certificate and everything will be well.”

“Should you still be called Mrs. Lightwood if there is no marriage certificate?”

“I can do as I please.”

Gabriel smiled, affectionate and genuine this time, and turned back to the papers across the table. “Okay,” he said, mostly to himself, and reached for the first paper he saw. “That makes me feel better. We can work on the other documents while we wait for Gideon.”

Cecily pouted. “What else is there to do?” she lamented. “Mundane marriages do not involve nearly as much paperwork.”

“Do they?” Gabriel asked absently, shuffling through his pile. Cecily groaned. Over the course of their engagement, they’d completed a variety of forms and documents needed to make their union official in the eyes of the Clave. Providing birth certificates (which proved more difficult than Cecily would have liked. How was she supposed to know that her mundane-issued birth certificate had been stored in special forces?), filing for an officially sanctioned union, choosing wedding decorations and food, and not to mention the ages she spent finding the perfect wedding dress. And yet there was much to do—including having their marriage certificate ready for signing at the end of their ceremony.

“What is this?” Gabriel asked suddenly, pulling Cecily out of her half-asleep state. She blinked at him and took the page from his hand, reading the type as it came into focus.

“’Ensure your future husband is ready for life,’” she read aloud. Below was a list of topics one was meant to discuss with their betrothed prior to engagement. Cecily giggled. “It’s from a mundane women’s magazine,” she explained to Gabriel, who clearly had never touched a mundane magazine before. “Sophie or Tessa must have thrown it in with our files in jest. It’s meant to be taken at the time of engagement.”

Gabriel took back the page and studied it. “These are all quite important topics indeed,” he commented. “’Finances and Dowry, Size of Home, Duties, Children.’”

“I don’t have a dowry,” she said and raised an eyebrow at him. “That isn’t going to be an issue, is it?”

“Of course not,” Gabriel answered seriously. Cecily giggled again; she was only joking, but Gabriel was always serious about being a modern man. “And if you did, I would reject it.”

“Truly?” Cecily questioned, intrigued.

“Truly,” Gabriel answered. He turned to her. “Others see marriage as a business transaction. Indebted men seek plentiful dowries to pay off their debts, nothing more. I do not want any part of that.”

“My father would be pleased to hear you say that.” Cecily reached up and kissed his cheek gently, feeling his face lift with a smile beneath her lips. “Besides, I am proud of you for giving up most of your inheritance to Tatiana. Angel knows that girl is not deserving of your kindness.”

Gabriel’s eyes were sad. “She’s my sister,” he said with a heavy sigh. “And I hope she uses it to take care of Jesse. I think that is the primary reason I did what I did. She had a child and no salary.”

“You’re a very loving uncle,” she whispered to him. “I know you’d give anything for the little ones. I think you’ll make an excellent father.”

Gabriel flushed red and avoided her eyes, fidgeting with the magazine in his hands. “Speaking of children in the same building where your brother is present seems likes a death wish,” he said.

“For you,” she chirped with a shrug and fully turned in her seat so her entire body faced him. “Don’t worry. He’s all talk now.” Cecily paused then bit her lip. “Do—Do you not want children?”

Gabriel jumped in his seat and jerked his attention toward her once more, looking frazzled. “No!” he said quickly, then shook his head. “I mean, no that’s not what I meant.” He sighed. “I-I just never thought I’d have the opportunity to—you know—have children, really.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t think I’d ever get married,” he answered quietly, with a pink flush to his cheeks. Cecily felt her heart squeeze at his tone. “It was always Gideon who was groomed to carry on my father’s legacy. I was just backup really. I thought I would have given my life in the field before I was ever mature enough to get married.”

Cecily brushed her fingers through his ever-toussled brown hair and admired him. He’d changed so much over the years and she only continued to fall deeper in love with him as he did. “Did I change your mind, then?”

Gabriel’s face lifted as did the corners of his mouth. “Yes,” he confirmed with a short laugh. “I may actually grow old now.”

Cecily rolled her eyes but she laughed, happy to see him in a better place in his life than he had been when she met him. “I am glad,” she said.

“I do want children,” he added, squeezing her hand once more and looking into her eyes with those comforting green ones. “Especially with you. You’re right. I love being an uncle and being around the little ones. It’d—be very nice to have some of our own.”

Her heart burst in her chest with more happiness and love than she ever thought she was capable of. Without hesitation she surged forward and took his face in her grasp, pressing her lips to his. He smiled against her and held her steady as she leaned out of her chair. “I love you,” she mumbled.

“I love you, too.”

She pulled away from him reluctantly. “I think I need to be an aunt, first,” she said.

Gabriel blinked. “You’ve been one.”

“Not officially. We are not yet married.”

“The girls call you Aunt Cecily.”

“It needs to be official.”

He laughed and nodded. “All right,” he caved, pressing another quick kiss to her before setting her back into her seat. “Anything else you wish for upon marrying me?”

“Besides children and an official Aunt title?” She teased.

“Yes, besides those.”

Cecily pretended to ponder long and hard about her answer, despite the fact she knew exactly what it was before he even asked. “I want you to stay with me.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? Seems easy enough.”

“And also tell me how wonderful I am every single day.”

“Every day?”

“Yes.”

“All right.”

“I am not expensive to please.”

“I can see that.”

Cecily grinned at him, unable to contain her excitement to spend the rest of her life with him. She wanted a love as strong as her parents’ and she had found it. “Is there something you want from me?”

Gabriel seemed surprised by this. “Anything I want?”

“Yes, you.”

He mocked her pondering expression from moments ago, prompting her to huff in faux annoyance. “I also want you to stay with me.”

“I can do that.”

His smile was sweet and vulnerable, an expression she knew only she got to see. She hoped one day he’d look at their children with that expression as well, but until that day came, she was content being the only person in the world he looked at with such love and affection. She began to imagine what their children together would look like in her mind. Whose eyes would they inherit? Would they get her black hair or his brown? Would they have all girls or all boys or a mix? Oh, Gabriel with a daughter would be so sweet—

“Cecy? What are you thinking about?”

“Our children.”

Gabriel flushed red once more and quickly looked away and back toward their documents. “One step at a time, Cecy. We need to get properly married first.”

“Details.”

[songtoyou]

Chapter 1: The Pope, The Rabbi, and The Gypsy

Tolerate It

Paring: Modern!Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Story Rating: R (No minors should read this fic).

Word Count: 1,795

Warnings: Talks of sexual content.

Description: Tommy Shelby is the owner and CEO of Shelby Company Limited. Starting out as a Bookmaker, Tommy had big ideas to expand his riches. In the past ten years, the company has grown rapidly to expand its business ventures from bars to producing alcohol, manufacturing motor vehicle parts, and exporting. One of the richest men in Great Britain, Tommy Shelby, has it all. Unfortunately, the death of his wife, Grace, left the multi-millionaire mogul alone and depressed. He needed someone to fulfill his needs and deepest darkest desires.

A/N: I was very pleased with the positive reaction to the prologue of this fic. I am glad that some of you are liking it. For this chapter, we learn a little more about the OC, and how she will meet Tommy. We also learn about the owners and some of Excelsior's clientele, the secret exclusive club in downtown London. Tommy looks for a new girl now that Lizzie is gone. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people actually like this fic. I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Excelsior was an exclusive invite-only club located in downtown London. Members included high profile men from actors, musicians, politicians, and business moguls. The activities that occur at Excelsior were top secret. Members and workers at the club were bound by a non-disclosure agreement to ensure nothing was made public. Excelsior was merely a very high-end gentlemen's club to the unassuming public, but underneath, it allowed members to succumb to their deepest desires.

Owned and run by "Duchess" Izabella Petrovna and her niece, "Princess" Tatiana Petrovna, the club was steeped in excess and glamour. No suspecting individual would ever think to confuse the establishment as an underground sex club. While the Duchess ran the business side of the operations, the Princess recruited the women. There was a certain criterion that the Princess enforced when it came to employing. First, the women had to be between the ages of twenty-one to thirty-five. The women underwent an extensive background check, along with a psych evaluation. Many of the employees found it hilarious that the Duchess and Princess required a psych evaluation considering that they themselves were equally eccentric…or insane, to put it mildly. Birth control was a non-negotiable requirement the women had to abide by. The women at the club had to partake in monthly STD tests to ensure they were clean and healthy. 

While the Duchess and Princess were an oddball pairing, there was no denying that they cared for their girls and valued the work they did for the members. Their business endeavor allowed the Petrovna's to continue to live in luxuries that Russia no longer was able to provide. They paid well.

It was how Rose Turner provided a decent life for herself and her son, Louis. Rose had been working at the club for six years and in that time had garnered quite the clientele. However, it would be three men who would have a tumultuous impact on Rose's life. She referred to them as the Pope, the Rabbi, and the Gypsy. 

The Pope was Luca Changretta, an Italian man from New York. Luca was a prominent businessman whose family still resided in England. While Audrey Changretta was a former school teacher, her husband Vincent, and youngest son Angel, owned restaurants and bars from Manchester to Birmingham, to London. They also dabbled in the real estate business and owned numerous high rise apartment buildings. The Changretta family was viewed as a rival to the Shelby clan. Both have tried to partner on business ventures with no deal ever emerging. The two families did not trust one another. 

With Luca stationed over in the States, he would visit his family throughout the year during holidays, for birthdays, weddings, funerals, openings of new Changretta establishments. Time home also allowed for Luca to engage in his pleasures. His visits to Excelsior were always a big deal. Everything had to be perfect, according to Izabella. Tatiana assigned Rose to Luca. 

"You are his type, no," Tatiana would say. "He likes the way you look. That innocent and doe-eyed look. Hooker with a heart of gold, they say, right."

Rose did not question Tatiana. She read through Luca's file to find out more about her new client and what he liked. The man was noticeably big into role play, especially in a religious aspect. He loved playing the part of a holy man while Rose played the Catholic school girl or nun. It was how Luca got the nickname, "The Pope." The man thankfully always managed to be a gentleman. He respected the rules of the club and never went overboard. If Rose was uncomfortable with acting out a scene, she knew it was okay to voice her worries. Luca never tried to fight her or manipulate her into partaking in a scene. He respected Rose's boundaries. She was one of his favorites at the club. 

Alfie Solomons was nicknamed "The Rabbi" and another important client at Excelsior. He had his fill of women during his time at the club. So much so that the girls would talk openly with one another about his particular habits. For instance, Alfie never partook in actual intercourse with the women. Instead, he relied on toys such as dildos or vibrators to bring pleasure to his women. He would also make sure to wear black latex gloves while touching the women. Many assumed it was to keep himself clean and pure since he participated in activities that would be deemed excruciatingly unholy. Alfie made sure that Tatiana only gave him gentile women.

"No Jewish women, love. They are holy creatures and should be remained as such, okay," Alfie demanded.

When Rose saw Alfie for the first time, she was intimidated by his big stature. However, Alfie proved to be one of Rose's favorite clients. The man knew how to pleasure a woman. He always made scenes fun and intense. Some women would even fight over who got to be with Alfie on certain nights he was at the club. They all loved him. 

As the son of a Russian Jewish woman and working-class Londoner father, Alfie worked his way up in the world. It would be the distillery business where Alfie would make his fortunes. From rum and vodka to gin, beer, and cider, Solomons & Sons was the top distillery company in the United Kingdom. It did not take long for the Shelby family came knocking on Alfie's door to partner with on business endeavors. While Alfie would continue to remain skeptical about the Shelby family, he knew the business deal with them would be too good to pass up. He loved having a go at Tommy Shelby from time-to-time to see how far he could push the Birmingham lad. 

In fact, it was Alfie who told Tommy about Excelsior. 

"You go from whore to whore with no care in the world. It is like you got a death wish. Seriously, don't you ever worry about getting the clap? I'll tell ya what…let me talk with one of my associates about inviting you to join this club I frequent. It will have everything you ever wanted and more. Trust me," Alfie shared with Tommy at one of their business meetings two years ago. 

Tommy merely scoffed as he took a drag of his cigarette. "Trust you. Not likely, Alfie. As I recall, it was because of you that the deal with the Changrettas fell apart. Something about mentioning how my brother John got into a fight with Angel Changretta over a girl they both were seeing at the time."

With a shit-eating grin, Alfie replied, "I am a beacon of truth, eh."

"More like a pain in my ass," Tommy smirked. 

As promised, Alfie talked with Tatiana about inviting Tommy to the club. She was adamant about meeting with the self-made millionaire. The Princess wanted to make sure he was suitable to partake in her establishment. If Tatiana had the ability, she would have kept Tommy all to herself if she could. 

"None of those whores deserve you, Thomas," said Tatiana as she laid in bed next to him.

"No, they deserve better. Better than me, that is for sure. But…they are all I got. So, I need your help in finding the best one for me. One that I can take out in public if need be. One who can be presentable to society at certain functions I have to attend. That way, I can keep up the appearance of a family man who still grieves the loss of his wife while trying to move on with my life."

Lizzie Stark filled that position for two years before her sudden and unexpected departure at Excelsior. Now Tatiana had to find a new girl to assign for Tommy, which was no easy task with his certain expectations. The man was rather picky, to say the least. Perusing her girls' files, she realized that there was only one who could meet the requests of Tommy Shelby.

"Rose Turner," announced Tatiana and handed Tommy her file. "She has been with us for a couple of years. She is considered top-quality—good reviews from our top clients. As you can see, she is beautiful, no. She can be elegant if need be for your functions. Adventurous…flexible, if you know what I mean. She'd be perfect for you. What do you think?"

Tommy looked over Rose's file. Her birthdate indicated she was in her early thirties and from Blackpool, a seaside resort town on England's Irish Sea coast. It was England's very own Coney Island. Ada took Karl and Charlie there for a weekend getaway not long after Grace died to cheer up her nephew.

"How many men does she see regularly?" Tommy asked.

"Rose is considered top quality. Her clientele is small. She has no more than four regulars. One does not live here full-time. He only sees her when he visits family. The others…well, they are people from your circle of business partners."

"Is that so. Who would these men be?" Tommy inquired as he continued to look through Rose's file.

"I am not at liberty to tell you such vital information…"

"Well, Tatiana, let me take a guess. Could Alfie Solomons be one of Rose's clients? How about Darby Sabini? Is he on the list? Billy Kimber before his untimely departure on this Earth?" Tommy took a drag of his cigarette and tossed Rose's file on Tatiana's desk. "Set up a meeting for me with Rose. Not here, though. Tell her to meet me at The Savoy Hotel this Saturday night. Give her this as well," Tommy handed Tatiana an envelope she assumed had cash in it. "Tell her to buy something nice for the occasion. The two of us can talk over dinner, and if all goes well, we can end the night on a good note. Just know this Princess, if all goes well, then Rose becomes mine. Her other clients can fuck off for all I care. I am not one to share what is mine."

So here Rose was, at one of London's top boutiques picking out a dress for Saturday night. Tatiana explained the possible arrangement with Mr. Shelby, and if things went well, he would be Rose's main client. Meaning he would become Rose's only client. She had reservations about it until Tatiana shared how much Mr. Shelby was willing to pay. It was more money than Rose originally would make. Tatiana shared that Mr. Shelby would provide Rose a weekly allowance on top of her services' standard fees. The deal with too good to pass up. However, Tatiana was adamant to Rose that meeting Tommy first would be wise before agreeing to any deals. 

All Rose knew was that she had a date with The Gypsy. 

[livcosmos]

Chain of Iron BOOKTALK

I just….I….HOW…WHAT???? NOVEMBER?????!!!!!!…I can’t…What just happened???… I don’t even…OMG!!!!

I think there is nothing to say without spoiling anything sooo….

SPOILER WARNING

AAAAAAHHHHHHH I can’t believe how on earth am I supposed to wait till November??? NOVEMBER!!! I KNEW, I KNEW, I KNEW that it would end this way…this massive mess I knew it…I mean we do all remember how “Clockwork Angel” ended and don’t get me started on “Lord of Shadows”… I saw it coming but not like THAT!!! THIS IS BRUTAL!!!!!!

AHHHHHH OK alright I have to calm down and AHHHHH!!! This book was pure torture but in a good way, it hurt but I loved it! I couldn’t stop reading and I was screaming throughout the whole thing and you all know perfectly good why…. THE FREAKING BRACELET!!!! I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but the bracelet…. I WAS SOOOOOOO MAD and I still am…I am freaking out !!!!

NO but really, I have to start making sense and I don’t even know where to start…there is so much to talk about…but I guess I’m starting with the ENDING because helooooo what was that???

I can’t believe it…I was waiting throughout the whole book for that bracelet to break or for James to take it off or whatever and then it finally happened!!! It happened and I was like ‘OMG YAAASSSS’!!!! It’s finally happening James is going to realise that he loves Cordelia and they are going to be together for good…I have to admit the moment that wicked thing broke I was so grateful and happy, I was over the moon, but still I was sceptical, I wasn’t as happy as I should have been, I knew it was wayyyy to good to be true and that something bad had to happen… I felt it!

First I was afraid I was petrified…(sorry I had to), I thought the bad thing that was going to replace the bracelet mess was, what Tatiana The Lunatic told Grace to do… to make Jesse fall in love with her, because she couldn’t do it with James… and at that point I lost it!!! THAT WOMAN IS SICK!!! I saw the whole Clary and Jace drama from “City of Ashes” all over again running before my eyes … I know Grace and Jesse aren’t actually related but still that is sick!!!! I just can’t go through the whole thing, we got through with James and Cordelia because of Grace and the freaking bracelet all over again with Lucie and Jesse!!!! (I will get to the Jesse/Lucie thing in a minute!)

But of course that wasn’t the bad thing that was about to happen it would have been way to harmless… and when Grace went to James for “help” I was actually a little relieved, I thought ‘Alright she does have good sense and she is going to report Tatiana’….but oh no..oh no..oh no no no no no… ahhhhhhh!!!! James my love, I love you but what was in your head when you said “Thank God” and when you told Cordelia “I don’t feel about you the way I feel about Grace” ARE YOU CRAZY??? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND??? But nevertheless, I have to give you credit for how you confronted her with her wicked power afterward, how you wouldn’t take her lies anymore! And you Cordelia darling, he said he has something important to tell, you don’t run away like that wait and see what he has to tell you or at least eavesdrop properly!!! And OMG I need to know what James wanted to tell her about the necklace he gave her, he said it has some story and I need to know it!!!

AHHHHHHH I was so happy that James figured everything out, it was my main goal for this book, my biggest hope and wish and I waited for it to happen the whole time, I couldn’t concentrate on anything else like LILITH?? WHATEVER, WHEN IS THE BRACELET COMING OFF???And then it finally happened and it turned into such a big mess! But in a weird way I love it, I am still very mad though and I need to know what happens!!! I need to know! I mean obviously things are going to turn out just fine but still!!!

Before going back to the James and Cordelia disaster we need to to talk about my love MATTHEW, because well he is very much a big part of the disaster! First of all, am I crazy or does he give off massive Harry Styles energy??? He is the fictional Harry Styles of the 20th century, if I may say so! His style… my God I’m in love! It’s not a secret that I love him very much, I have reread my booktalk for “Chain of Gold” (thank God I ramble so much in my booktalks because I was right back on track with every detail for starting this book!) and I called him my soulmate in there and he still very much is!! And ahhhhhh my hearth breaks for him, I hate to see him in pain!!!! The another big wish I had besides the bracelet breaking was, was for Matthew to tell someone what happened with Charlotte and OMG HE DID!!! I teared up at that scene, I was so happy, I was so relieved (and ahhh of course he knew that Cordelia is in love with James, of course he knew ahh bless him), he now has someone who knows and who watches over him more carefully and maybe Cordelia will convince him to tell the others too, especially Charlotte and Henry! It was such a big step forward and I am so happy for him! I have so much hope that everything will be fine with him but then…. We all know it… Cordelia will end up with James I mean that is more than crystal clear and I fear what will happen to him! I don’t want him to end up alone and oh my, call me crazy and I know I said this before but I do also ship him with Cordelia! Of course I ship James and Cordelia no doubt but still I would also love Matthew to be with her! I know, I know that would be a mess because he is to much like her father bla bla, but come on!!! He also needs someone and I don’t know who that someone could be, I don’t want him to be alone!!! (And also I need more scenes from his point of few, he needs to be more present, I don’t want our connection to fade!!!)

AAHHHH and he is going to Paris with Cordelia ahhhhhh I love that!!! I am all in for spontaneous trips and I know they shouldn’t run away from they problems like that but still, I think and also hope that they will have a great time there and that they may get closer? AH but that would be an even bigger mess wouldn’t it? I don’t know I’m confused, it’s the JEM-TESSA-WILL situation all over again. I mean I know Cordelia doesn’t love Matthew and that it would never be the same thing that she has with James and I know that all of this will backfire on Matthew, but even though I don’t want him to suffer I am still in for that, I am in for the drama!

Speaking of drama I loved that scene at the Shadow Market where James and Mathew where arguing, I didn’t liked that they were arguing but in some way it was a really great scene, I loved the tension and everything! It was really really good!

I also loved the trip scene, where Mathew took Cordelia to *couch* *couch* Wayland the Smith with the motorcar ahhhh it was lovely!!!

And hahah omg the scene at the end where James comes rushing to Matthew’s apartment and he talks to the Porter and he was like “Yeah that wasn’t his cousin, that was my wife” I couldn’t help laughing out loud! The situation was so serious and so full of tension but I couldn’t help laughing!

Another scene that made me laugh was the scene where I believe it was Thomas who said that James was possessed because he was writing in a book! And that is totally true James how could you?! HAHA

Alright so besides the bracelet/James-Cordelia-Matthew drama, what freaked me out at the end was what happened with Lucie and Jesse!!!

I still can’t get over the fact, that Cassie ended it like that!!! I mean Lucie is obviously still alive but OMG JESSE LIVES TOO!!!! I have to be hones that scene where he came back to life made me tear up, I was so happy, even though I know there will be consequences for Lucie. Ahhh and I fear crazy Tatiana but my God Jesse is alive!!!!!

And he and Lucie are soooo incredibly cute together I can’t! That scene where they were dancing in the snow….my Lord that was the sweetest thing ever I loved it so much!!!

But oh boy oh boy, as Jesse was possessed by Belail, I was so scared for him, that Cordelia would stab him with Cortana, the fear was there and it was over the top, I felt sick! Thank God things turned out fine! Crazy lunatic Tatiana how could you do that to your own son who you claim to love so much???? How could you let a Prince of Hell posses him??? Crazy lady you are awful!!!

Oh boy and if we are already touching the topic of rising up Jesse we have to talk about Malcom….goodness gracious I can’t believe the whole TDI drama is because of freaking insensitive crazy witch Grace!!! I can’t get over the fact that she is the reason why Malcom turns into a psychopath and kills so many people and basically causes all the drama in TDI!! If Grace wouldn’t have done that, if Lucie might have stoped her (or if she wouldn’t encourage Malcom into his madness my calling up Annabelle) things would have turned out so different!!!

And where in the world did he take Lucie and Jesse??? Ah I don’t trust him, because I mean it’s obvious why!

Oh and speaking of necromancy, I’m so frustrated, that I don’t remember what Ty and Kit did exactly to rise up Livvy, I mean now it doesn’t matter anymore because Jesse is alive but still, I want to remember how they did it or better say how they tried to do it!

Ah and before I go into a completely other direction I want to say a few more things about Grace… so first of all I can’t believe James left here there in the room alone I am scared that she will run away or something, that she wouldn’t tell Charlotte the truth without James there to force her… but hey we will have to wait and see what happens!

And then there is this other thing… learning her backstory in this book made me hate her a little less! I am not happy about it but I don’t know seeing exactly what she has been trough I felt sorry for her! I still don’t like her God forbid no way, she is still evil, she could have ripped apart that bracelet so many times!!! I get that she fears Tatiana but fjhfkfg, I don’t know I pity her now. And it makes me mad that I can’t be as mad at her as I was before! And then again I feel sorry for hating on her so much because it’s not her fault! I am glad though that we got this insights from her life, so that we can understand her a little better!

The other thing is, that I don’t know how I feel about her getting closer to Christopher, Christopher is such a cuty and I am constantly worried about him, because he is so pure and he trusts everyone blindly and Grace is an evil witch so…I don’t know let’s hope for the best! And then again on the other side they are both a little odd, I can picture them together, I can see that they could fit well together! Seeng it doesn’t mean accepting it though!

A few quick words about Alastair, before we go into the next big thing, I love how he cares for Cordelia, that he is so different around her and I love, that slowly but surely he is changing and behaving better and that he is slowly but surely getting the acceptance of the group! Lets hope things will tun out good, especially the bad blood between him and Matthew!

AH OH and Thomas, even though at first I thought that the whole thing with him being accused to be the murderer was a bit of unnecessary drama, I think things took a great turn! And my god I loved the the scene with him and Will and the Mortal Sword! It was absolutely hilarious, the question Will asked about the money, bless his soul!!!

Speaking of him, I loved to see him and Tessa, as usual, I can’t never get enough of them! And also Jem of course, the one and only love of my life!!! How are we kidding, I don’t think I have to tell anyone anymore, that I cried when he played the violin at James’ and Cordelia’s wedding! That got me! He gets me every time, he is my sensitive spot! And I also cried at the end when he came to talk to Cordelia and yeah…the usual…every time I think about him I cry…I just love him to much! (Speaking of the wedding, omg that was so beautiful and what Charlotte said oh my…that as so so sweet!!!)

But I have to say even though I love Jem, Will and Tessa and I love to see them every time I get the chance, I am also really happy that they don’t play that big of a role here in this story, I said this before but I love that it’s their children’s story where they are there but they are not the main characters. That is also valid for Magnus, I love that he is always there to save the day but still I like that the kids get to write their own story, if that makes sense!

OH Oh and the Italian girl?! It so ironic, that she died because I don’t know in the booktalk for “Chain of Gold” I was like: ‘Yeah omg there is this Italian girl coming I hope the group will accept her, and that she may be the one for my Math!’… well that turned out completely different!

Ohhh and her last name was di Angelo?! I love how Cassie thanked Rick for letting her borrow that last name, I love that two of the most amazing authors in the whole world are friends!

Ok but back to the serious stuff…. Lilith oh Lilith…. I was a little suspicious at the beginning of book at the bachelorette party when her name came up for the first time but I thought nothing of it, I was like oh ok let’s move on…and then her name came up a few more times but I still didn’t thought there was anything to it. Foolish little me, I should have seen it going but I didn’t!!!

I was suspicious of Wayland the Smith if I may quote my own notes, that I wrote down when he first appeared: “ Don’t trust Whayland the Smith, that was so wired, oh Cordelia what have you done, is he the killer?? Is he helping the killer??”. So deep down I knew something was up but I didn’t knew what and uhhhh….oh my and she pretending to be Magnus??? How did she dare to do it! Shame on you Lilith!!!

OMG and the battle at the end with her and Belail and everyone was so intense!!! I can’t wait to see how they are going to solve this whole mess, especial the paladin thing!

And the whole Wayland the Smith thing is actually so interesting like does he actually exists? Is he still alive?? We definitely need more informations about him!

Coming back to the paladin thing though, I can totally understand Cordelia, how she must feel and all but please gris don’t exaggerate you still have to be Lucie’s parabatai, you can’t give that up! It has to happen, it just has to! And what have you done to Cortana? Where is it? I need to know!

Oh uh uh but you know what else is suspicious??? That gift Cordelia got from her father, that sword hold thing, because first of all where did he get it from and second Lilith (as she pretended to be Waylande the Smith) made comment on it, that it was worthy or good or something, does that mean that thing is also enchanted, does it mean it has a spell on it or something? Did Elias get it from her? It’s very suspicious and I need more informations!

By the way, his death… I didn’t feel very sorry because I don’t know he was causing unnecessary trouble and even though I am grateful that he saved Jem all those years ago…I don’t know he was wired…I felt sorry for Cordelia, seeing her suffer so much made me sad but than again his death caused unnecessary trouble even if only for a short while between James and Cordelia so I don’t know…and Alastair suffered so much all those years because of him… we wasn’t very likeable!

All in all I had the best time reading this book, it felt so good to be back “home”, I love this world so much and it felt so good to be back! It made me miss London so much… it reminded me how much I love it and ah also the time period I love it !!! Unfortunately though it is now over and I have to face the real world again, and besides that we have to wait till November to find out how things will turn out!!! On the other side I don’t want it to end!!!

Thank you very very much for reading and please let me know your thoughts on the book!!!

P.S. Cordelia said, that if she loses a chess game she would tell James how she is in love with, do you think that is how they are going to make up? That they will play a game and she will lose and tell him that she has always loved him and then they will be together for real? By the way they still have to get those second wedding runes!!!!

P.P.S James’ middle name is Henry??? That is the sweetest thing ever!!!

P.P.P.S I hope that everything between James and Matthew will be ok, that they will stop forging, that Matthew will tell James everything and that everything will be ok regardless of whom will end up with Cordelia!

[randomoranges]

the final rose, if you please

prince au 

part 86

The stroll about the grounds was pleasant. It was comfortable, by Edward’s standards, even though looking at Étienne, it may as well have been much colder. It was endearing to see the prince furrow his face in the exterior furs of the cloak and if Étienne used the excuse to step closer to Edward, Edward wasn’t about to complain about it.

 “As you know,” Étienne started, once they’d gone through every subject of polite chit-chat possible, “I am to find someone to be engaged to and this person will have to help me rule once my father the king steps down as sovereign.”

 Edward tried not to trip over his own feet and did his best to keep pace with the prince, even if his heart suddenly sped up a bit.

 “I’ve narrowed it down to you and the other two candidates and after much consideration and discussion, I do believe I’ve come to a decision.”

 “O-oh – have you now?” This was it, Edward thought, Étienne was about to thank him for coming all the way here and send him back home. There would be some platitude about forming some alliance and then he’d bid him farewell and that would be it. For as much as just mere moments ago Edward would have been fine with the news, he suddenly wished he didn’t have to leave so soon. He wasn’t – ready to go back home.

 “Yes; it’s why I asked you out on this walk. I wanted – to speak with you about the decision I’ve made.” Étienne wrung his hands together in that nervous way of his and Edward was touched – if surprised – that the prince wanted to confer with him about his decision. Surely, he would have chosen Lady Tatiana. It was the most logical of choices. The question of future heirs was answered, the alliance would be a good one, and there wouldn’t be any issues.

 “For as much as I’ve enjoyed getting to know Lady Tatiana and Sir Kevin, I can’t deny that the two of us have been spending quite a bit of time together.” Étienne resumed walking and Edward followed his pace, doing his best to keep up.

 “Even though the kingdom would benefit from each of the possible alliances, I put those thoughts aside to focus on trying to find someone that I can see myself spending more time with. If I am to rule the kingdom one day, I want to do it with someone who will help and be by my side – a friend above all else.”

 It certainly was a different way of doing things, but then again, Étienne did things his own way, it seemed.

 “It’s why, if it’s not too much of an inconvenience for you, I wanted to ask you, Edward, if you’d be willing, when the time would come, to share the responsibility with me and rule by my side as my equal – as my spouse.”

 Then again, Sir Kevin would also make a good choice, Edward pondered. He was also very easy on the eyes and from the north. But – this wasn’t his choice to make. And – had Étienne just – asked him to marry him?

 “Edward?”

 Edward blinked and looked back at Étienne who seemed to be expecting something.

 “Sorry – I’m – you – what?” He managed to say eloquently.

 At least, Étienne did not look repulsed and instead chuckled softly.

 “I asked you, in a roundabout way, if you’d be willing to accept my proposal. To marry me. When the time comes...”

 Edward blinked again.

 It already astounded him that he’d made it as a top three candidate. The fact that Étienne was apparently picking him over anyone else was – a shocker.

 “And – I know this isn’t your typical union, which is why – if there’s anyone special to you back home, they would be welcomed to the castle. No questions asked. As you are aware, Calvin is very dear and special to me and I don’t intend to put an end to my relationship with him. I realise it’s asking a lot out of a partner, hence why it would be only fair that the same option be given to you.” Étienne went on before he could even give him an answer.

 “Of course, I also don’t expect you to share the marital bed out of any pre-conceived obligations you might feel. I realise this, for as much as my father has given me some wiggle room, is still an arranged marriage of sorts. If, however, at any given time, it is something you want, then we can talk about it. I know not everyone sees sex the same way and I’m not one to judge.”

 Edward tried again to place a word, but Étienne kept talking.

 “The wedding won’t be for a while longer. There’s no rush to it and I’d prefer continuing the courting. In case of course you realise you don’t want this, which I would never hold against you, regardless of my own feelings.”

 Edward waited, to make sure the prince had finished his piece, and when he didn’t add anything else, he finally spoke, “For the record, there is no one else back home and you seem to really have thought this through,” He said with a soft smile as he took Étienne’s jittery hand.

 “I have... I know this will be a big change in your life – I’d be uprooting you from your home and everyone you know. Obviously, you’d be free to visit as often as you want! But – it’s asking a lot out of someone and I don’t want you to resent me in the long run... I want us to be friends and if anything else develops then so be it, but I don’t want you to hate me for whatever reason...”

 There was something extremely vulnerable in the way the prince said those words and it pulled at Edward’s heart.

 “Home isn’t what it used to be, for what it counts, but thank you for that.” He paused for a moment and imagined going back home, to his tyrannical brother and wanted to laugh. “What about heirs?” The question had been honestly nagging at him and he wondered if the prince would get a concubine of sorts to produce an heir to the throne, down the line. It would make sense, especially if they would marry.

 “Oh – I thought about that as well,” Étienne laughed, if a little nervously, “My brother, Jacques, - his second born – my nephew, Julien, would not succeed his mother, given that her lands would go to their eldest daughter, my niece, Constance. Seeing as my brother should have gotten the title, I figured if I do not have children of my own – which, was never something I wanted, he could be the next heir. I’ve spoken about it with my brother and sister-in-law and they both agreed to it. Julien would complete his education at home, with his family, and when the time would come, he would move to the castle here, live here for a while to get a feel of the place and then he would succeed to me.”

 Edward had to admit that he was surprised by how thorough Étienne had been. When he’d first met the prince, he hadn’t given off the impression that he was someone who took his role seriously, but underneath that easy going exterior, Étienne was a calculating sort of fellow who did actually know what he was doing, it seemed.

 “You’ve really covered all your basis; I must admit I’m impressed.”

 “Thank you for the compliment, but you still haven’t answered my question...”

 “Well, since you’ve given this careful consideration, I would gladly accept to continue courting you. I’ve equally enjoyed our time together and would not mind continuing getting to know you...”

 Étienne’s face broke out into a wide smile and Edward found himself returning it, feeling giddy himself.

 He was – engaged. To the prince. He – and the prince. Were engaged. To each other.

 It was surreal.

--

PREVIOUS: LXXXV

CURRENT: LXXXVI

NEXT: LXXXVII

[isagrimorie]

I’ve been thinking about Safiyah and Alice & their dramatic beach conversations. It’s super toxic but I ship it in an interesting dynamic way. But like Safiyah hun, covert gay flirting is confusing enough let alone when it’s intended target is an abused young woman who has spent years in isolation. Might need to send clearer signals. But it’s nice that they spent some time enjoying each other’s company. That Safiyah cleaning her forehead when they 1st met might have been the only gentle touch she’s felt in years. Even though yes, I think part of Alice always knew she swapped one cage for another, an abuser for another but the new freedoms she had must have been overwhelming. Even without the brainwashing Alice was always intended to be her beautiful monster. I’m almost proud of Alice in the end to not fall for the gaslighting & after seeing a lot of people baffled why Safiyah was so confident in approaching Alice I remembered that she doesn’t know about Enigma undoing the missing memories. Could have just told her you loved her years ago though, would have saved a lot of drama. I kinda wish normal Kate or perhaps Sophie knew this was going on & be a bit protective of Alice or just weirded out by the dynamics. Oh and sorta connected thought. Alice was found hidden in a that yacht floating in the ocean? What was her long term plan? Did she think about confronting her family but confirming she’d been forgotten too much? Was the real world outside her basement too big & unpredictable? I can’t help but think if she hasn’t been found she may have ended up dead lost alone at sea.

Sorry this took long... inbox notifications haven't been working!

But like Safiyah hun, covert gay flirting is confusing enough let alone when it’s intended target is an abused young woman who has spent years in isolation. Might need to send clearer signals.

That's what I've been saying! Alice didn't have any way to know Safiyah was flirting with her. I think she's pretty confused by both Ocean and Safiyah but Ocean was more upfront.

As Boyle from Brooklyn Nine Nine once told Jake, the reason why Amy went out with Teddy instead of Jake was because Teddy asked Amy out.

I think part of Alice always knew she swapped one cage for another, an abuser for another but the new freedoms she had must have been overwhelming. Even without the brainwashing Alice was always intended to be her beautiful monster.

I kind of like that, beautiful monster.

But yeah, I think Alice was very much aware she was still in another cage, albeit a gilded one.

And how Alice actually didn't know what to do with herself when she had all the freedom in the world. I think it was telling that in the end, what Alice opted with was to steal Catherine's yacht and isolated herself.

Alice was found hidden in a that yacht floating in the ocean? What was her long term plan? Did she think about confronting her family but confirming she’d been forgotten too much? Was the real world outside her basement too big & unpredictable? I can’t help but think if she hasn’t been found she may have ended up dead lost alone at sea.

I feel like Alice might have sought her family out but when she saw them they all looked so happy that she might have felt hurt at seeing them so happy without her. Life passed her by and maybe she was overwhelmed with the world and couldn't cope and that's why out of anger and maybe fear, Alice stole the yacht.

And she definitely would have died out at sea, if Tatiana hadn't stolen the yacht too.

But also, LOL. Safiyah, really, stealing a yacht is your revenge???

I’m almost proud of Alice in the end to not fall for the gaslighting

I kind of get now why Ocean killed Enigma and tried to justify his reasons... because this might have been the norm growing-up in the island. Safiyah and Ocean's parents must have done this to them so many times. It's the only way they know how to love.

[dreaming-for-an-escape]

25 Facts About Maeve:

@wolfanddragon98​

What's her bond like with Grey Wind?

If things go accordingly (and if I don’t change things) she’ll know him since he’s a pup. So besides Robb, Grey Wind spends a lot of time with her. Basically he’s like a practice child for Robb and her. 

Her favorite Stark family member (besides her lovely husband).

Arya. Like you mentioned before she’s a breath of fresh air for Maeve. 

Her favorite song that had been sung in GOT.

Jenny Of Oldstones.

Her thoughts on what happened to Ned Stark.

A tragedy that she thought was unfair to have happen to an honorable man like him. And her heart breaks for his wife and children. 

Her favorite subject when she had to learn new things.

The history of her house, learning about her ancestor *cough Tatiana cough* and all of Westeros. 

How would her crown look like? Similar to Margaery's when she married Joffrey? With stag antlers and roses being intertwined (but in this case it's the wolf and the roses). Or more like Sansa's sleek crown?

I’d imagine her crown to be like this but a different color and obviously there would be wolves in-between the roses. 

How do the common people perceive her?

Because how involved she is with charity work they come to love her. She’s a lot like Margaery but you get a sort of different feeling with Maeve. Margaery often liked talking about her charity work with people, almost like she was bragging about it in a way while Maeve is more humble about it. 

Favorite pastime.

She likes to pass the time by riding her horse, doing archery, or reading. 

What gift never fails to make her happy?

Food or books. 

What's her love language?

Words of affirmation. But also a bit of physical touch. 

Is she a better dancer or singer?

I’d say singer. I see her as the type to sing to her children. 

Her favorite lie as a child and her favorite lie as an adult.

If you make a wish on the brightest star it’ll come true. Something her mother would tell her as a kid but eventually she found out it wasn't always true. The lie often brought her comfort though when on her own and staring at the night sky as an adult. Especially later on. For a brief moment she thinks things will be okay. 

A good friend of hers outside her noble house.

At the beginning she’s sort of sheltered. Not necessary naive (she’s a Tyrell) but she doesn’t have “close friends” outside her house. That changes as the story goes on. 

What does she value more: honesty or charity?

With all the lies that are often spread she values honesty. 

Her favorite GOT historical figure (that she probably read about when taking up History).

TBD ;) 

What are her thoughts on her house's words: Growing Strong?

She doesn’t think much of it until later on in her life and realizes that it was spot on when it came to her. 

One thing that she taught herself.

She taught herself how to climbs trees. 

Would she be a good advisor?

I’d say so. I see her as someone many come to for comfort/advice. Is she perfect? No but she does her best. 

Place she always wanted to visit.

Funny enough she’d been curious about Winterfell before being betrothed to Robb because of how much snow the country gets. 

Her thoughts on the White Walkers and the Night King?

Terrified of them. Rightfully so. 

Her thoughts on R + L = J? Does she find out as Robb's wife? Or is it kept a secret from her?

Robb confides in her about. She’s shocked as expected but keeps the secret guarded. 

A sentence that perfectly sums up Maeve.

I’ll use a quote by Dutch Proverb

"Roses fall, but the thorns remain." 

One thing she wants to teach her future kids.

She wants each of them to be given equal opportunities when it comes to their teachings. 

First impression of Robb Stark?

She thought he was handsome to the point where she almost pinched herself to see if she were dreaming. 

GOT death she will be satisfied with. Is there a person who in her mind deserved what they got?

This one’s obvious.

Joffrey xP