#i also wish that tumblr would actually notify me when i get messages

[allsaiint]

hello pardon me for the intrusion (aka me crawling back into ur life after disappearing for months)

xnchchdjx well hello ! i cant blame you for disappearing since i haven’t exactly been active either. i do hope you’re doing well !

[not-terezi-pyrope]

Wildbow web serial update notifier

I didn’t properly mention it when I actually released it as I wasn’t back on tumblr at that point (thanks for @fipindustries for boosting it on her blog at the time), but a few months ago I released a Wildbow web serial update notifier! It’s a standalone background app that polls for updates to Pale (or any other web serial in the future), and lets you know within the minute when a new update is released with a custom notification/chime that includes the new chapter title/banner.

If you were  in the Homestuck fandom during its hayday then you may remember the "MSPA Upd8 bot" that would sound notifications whenever the webcomic updated. This is essentially a Wildbow/Pale version of that.

Github link (releases)

I want to keep people aware of the existence of this, so now I am back on tumblr I will boost it here as well (screenshot and feature list below the cut).

Features

The program runs in the background, minimized to the notification tray.

The program will autorun on startup (this can be disabled in settings if you wish).

The program will poll the website regularly, to check if a new update has been released. The poll interval can be set in settings to anywhere from 1 minute to 24 hours. This means that the program will notify you of new updates almost immediately (and faster than the RSS feed for the website, which I believe only updates hourly).

Notifications will only be displayed when a new chapter/blog entry is posted.

Notifications will appear on the bottom right of the screen, and will display the new chapter title, the subtitle, and the top banner image, as in the screenshot above. Notifications will disappear after 15 seconds if not interacted with.

Clicking the notification will close it and open the web serial URL.

Notifications are also accompanied by a chime to get your attention. You can adjust the volume of this (or turn it off completely) in settings.

The program is designed for Pale updates, but is general enough that the current version will most likely work for future web serials published in the same way, or indeed any arbitrary Wordpress blog. You can specify the URL to monitor in settings, so that even if in the future the software is not updated for a future Wildbow serial, the current version should theoretically still work, although using it for other blogs may result in some unintended formatting behaviour.

I intend to keep updating this, so let me know if you encounter any bugs or issues, although you may need to bear with me in order to get fixes out. So far this is only designed to run on Windows, but I could potentially release versions for other operating systems in the future if there were demand (however such versions would be difficult to test from my end).

Known issues: If your internet connection fails then the app will display an error message, this isn’t a major issue if your web connection works okay but if there is demand I may update this to stop attempting to poll the site if there is not an active internet connection available.

[quintessenceofdust73]

I commissioned this art from an artist who accused me of “fandom wank” for tagging her in a post without getting permission first. and then I was blocked. I am posting it on my blog because I paid for it and because I can no longer reblog or comment on the original post. If the artist wishes to unblock me, then I will be able to tag them here. In the meantime, I will do what I like with this art because I paid for it. I was the first person to donate money to an artist in need even though I am struggling myself. Fanfic writers rarely get commissioned and we often don’t get as many reblogs as artists do. Since this art is based on a holiday fic that I wrote last year, I am including the link to it here as well.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003866/chapters/68595150

Summary:

During the Christmas holidays, Pidge decodes a secret message, learns what true love is, and comes to terms with the depth of feeling that she and Lance have for each other.

This multichapter fic was originally written for the 2020 VLD Secret Santa Event as a gift, but in truth, it is a short novel I wrote as a gift to everyone in Plance fandom who loves fluff, mystery, humor, and good old-fashioned romance.

Merry Christmas!

💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙💚💙

A fan on another website told me that this her favorite Plance fic ever and that she loved seeing art based on it. She also told me that she likes Lance’s little mullet. 😂 I like it too! 💙 I want to share all the positive feedback with the artist, but since I am blocked, I can only post about it here.

Anyway, if you are an artist receiving commissions, don’t bite the hand that feeds you. I meant no harm to the artist by what I did. I made a post about how some people in this fandom dislike me for absurd and nonsensical reasons and may not reblog a fanart just because it is inspired by one of my stories. That is the truth. This actually happens to me.

There is a portion of Plance fandom that won’t allow me to participate in certain fandom events. For example, a Tumblr was created for an event a few months ago and I was blocked from it so I couldn’t participate in the event, not even as a reader or viewer, much less as a writer.

Last Christmas I wrote a cute story for a Plance Secret Santa event, and my giftee would not acknowledge the gift or thank me for it. I was blocked by this person after the gift was sent. I wrote that little fic to the best of my ability, and to this day I have received no acknowledgement from her even though the event mods know about it and the giftee was notified. The giftee was originally tagged on AO3, but I have removed her name since then. This story became a prequel to Decoding a Christmas Mystery. Here’s the link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27910291

I am a very hardworking and creative person. The way I have been bullied and excluded in VLD Plance fandom is sickening, and it speaks volumes about the self-appointed fandom gatekeepers who have treated me like trash. I am not a perfect human being. I apologize when I make a mistake. I am a flawed but nice person, and I am always thankful to every single person who has ever had a positive interaction with me in this fandom.

[zackcollins]

Glad your arm is a tiny bit better! I get that about not being hungry though. Maybe just a tiny snack will do for now, unless you already ate!

Okay I’m glad you got it! My tumblr has been doing that too with notifications. It also hasn’t been notifying me when I get tagged in posts and I can’t just click on someone’s name and go to their blog. Instead it gives me a “this person doesn’t exist” message and I have to physically type in their username in the search be to get to their blog that way (I.e. I’ve been having to do that with you to get to the ‘send an ask’ section of your blog). I wish tumblr would get their ish together. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My afternoon has been decent. I just woke from a nap and now catching up on social media/tumblr! How’s your afternoon been??

— 👑

It might be suppertime soon, so I'm gonna wait until then to actually eat something. I don't wanna eat now and then not be hungry when my grandparents make supper. Ya know? I feel like that would be kinda mean of me considering they went through all the trouble to make the food.

Yeah??? I wasn't notified about being tagged in the last few things I've been tagged in. It's really weird and I wish I knew what the heck was going on with that. But like. This is Tumblr. Who the hell knows what is going on and if we'll ever find out? This website is dumb on the best of days.

My afternoon has been alright. I've just been trying to decorate my house in Animals Crossing. I decided to take a break for now though because I was getting a headache from staring at the screen for too long. I'll go back in and try again later when my headache has gone away. Hopefully I can make my house look pretty because I have like. Next to no interior design skills. I just want a pretty house, man. Is that too much to ask for?

[yukipri]

hello, I absolutely love your art and I really like ASL ship. I'm also an artist, but I'm afraid to post my art of it becomes i know some people can be rude about ships they don't like. How do you deal with the hate and do you have any advice for someone that wants that kind of confidence to post with out judgement?

Thanks so much for liking my work!

I wish I had a comforting answer for you, but the truth is this: There’s no way to post anything publicly online without judgement. People are always judging, and it’d be alright if they did so silently without being in your face about it, but oftentimes those who take greatest offense are the most vocal (the combination between this and the fact that those who like your work are oftentimes too shy to say anything can have really devastating consequences for self-confidence).

While there have always been people vocal about ships/characters/interpretations/whatever that they don’t like, I’d say that it’s arguably much worse now than it was when I started posting my work on Tumblr, due to both rampant purity culture, and again, fewer people who reblog and give positive comments to validate you and your work.

I wish I could tell you that i’m confident about the work that I post (both in content and artistic execution), but in reality, I’m not. I doubt myself all the time! My self-confidence is always 6 ft under!! I ask myself whether it’s worth posting before every post!! And sometimes, the answer my brain provides is No, it’s not worth posting.

But y’know what? I post anyway ^ ^;;;;;

I guess this is getting off on a bit of a tangent, because you’re asking about ship hate. But for me personally, my fight with my inner voice being mean about myself and my work is so much more vicious than any anti, that idk, the anti seems really mild in comparison? ^ ^;;;; Like oh, you don’t like my ship. Well that’s cute. I have a billion other far more valid criticisms of my work, so come back with a better case and get in line!

(and in continuing to post, and continuing to interact with those who don’t like my work...I guess I’ve gotten sorta used to it? That, and I’m grateful to have followers who ARE kind to me, building that sort of community is important!)

Oh don’t get me wrong, I still get in a sour mood whenever someone sends an unwanted opinion, and it does happen from time to time! But the thing is, there are a lot of tools to block out those opinions and to keep them from reaching you again, and it’s very easy for me to methodically use those, and they work. And the fact that these tools are available helps make hateful opinions seem much more like a tiny angry squirrel squeaking outside my window.

In case you’re wanting to know these steps:

1) If the unwanted comment is in a reply to one of your posts, you can delete the reply so you can’t see it anymore!

2) You can block the user. This prevents them from being able to interact with your posts and send any more unwanted opinions. (I think it’s also based on their IP address, so they can’t harass you on an alternate account either). If you do this to an anon user, they’ll be blocked and you’ll never even know who they were, so can’t even unblock them! Whee!

3) If they’re actually threatening you, you can report them. Rn, tumblr staff’s been pretty good at responding, perhaps due to changed ownership. If they actually threaten to harm you, don’t leave it at blocking, report them! (but also, make sure to only use this option when you are being threatened irl. Reporting is serious, and not a tool to be abused for, “They said something mean and I don’t like them.”)

4) MOST IMPORTANT: Don’t engage with them. I know if they give a shitty opinion, it’s easy to get heated and want to argue. But most likely, they’re hiding it under anon anyway, and you’re doing exactly what they want by getting mad. They don’t care about logic or whether or not their point makes sense. Their only goal is to upset you. So don’t let them win!

The best thing to do, REALLY, is to ignore them. Don’t give them a response by answering their ask, don’t reblog their response if they added it to your post that way. Especially if they’re anon, they have no choice but to keep refreshing your blog in hopes you respond, no way to get notified. Cool, let them keep doing that forever! They’re not worth your time. And they can’t win an argument you don’t accept, so they’ve lost as soon as you’ve rejected them.

(and if you feel like it, before blocking/deleting their shitty messages, take a screenshot, and then share it with your friends in private to laugh at them. It’s quite cathartic ^v^)b)

Another note, but if you’re nervous about posting content about an unpopular ship, it’s okay to ease yourself into it too. You don’t have to draw them naked ‘n snogging right from the get go (and tumblr doesn’t allow n//s//f//w anyway). You may have noticed that a LOT of my works are kinda ambiguously shippy/platonic if you squint and want to read it that way. Part of that’s just bc that’s the sort of content I enjoy creating, with romance being ambiguous, but it’s also less provocative if you want to avoid confrontation with antis ^ ^;

And ANOTHER note, but make sure to tag your ships! It’s a courtesy that’s important to remember on Tumblr and AO3 (and I wish would be adopted on twitter sigh). Tagging is us creators’ way of staying in our lane, and putting up all proper warnings. IF despite the tags, content consumers decide not to blacklist and engage anyway, well, then that’s on them.

So this answer got a bit long and isn’t at all concise, and I apologize for that. But I hope there’s an answer for you buried in here somewhere.

TLDR: There’s always gonna be judgement. Decide for yourself whether you want to post. Not everyone who posts has confidence, you’re not alone. Having positive interactions helps balance out the damage done by negative ones. Be prepared by knowing what tools you’ve got when the negative ones come. If you’re nervous, it’s ok to create more ambiguous content. Tag your posts.

And a final comment: make sure to enjoy creating! Create because you love it first and foremost, and let your creation be an expression of that joy.

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

[chronicillschronicpills]

so hey, i just found ur blog and tbh im really looking for any advice i can get on dealing with chronic pain and fatigue? i dont mean to be a bother sorry! im just slipping into hopelessness with some people and even doctors not taking me seriously. i have done hours and hours of research and i think my symptoms may line up with sjogren's? it's just so hard for someone to look at my symptoms (even though they have been worsening since october 2019) since absolutely nothing shows up in my tests.

Hey!

This is not a bother at all. Also sorry if this is a late reply, my Tumblr never notifies me when I get messages so I have to manually check! 

So to start off with, I know exactly how you feel. I have been there. It is truly horrible and I am sorry you have to deal with this. There is a massive problem with doctors not taking young people, especially women, seriously when it comes to pain and fatigue. It’s always ‘stress’ or ‘depression’ or ‘in your head’ and it’s just really infuriating. It’s a terrible place to be in. 

I think this is a really important post. Its going to be LONG. 

I’m going to first address the issues with doctors not taking you seriously. 

It took me 7 years to get a diagnosis. This is NOT unusual. In fact, I’m almost positive that the average diagnosis time period for someone with lupus is 6 years. My first piece of advice is SELF ADVOCATE. This sounds easier than it is and it takes a lot of practice. I used to just burst into tears if I was trying to explain anything to a doctor. It is easier to self-advocate when you are calm and are clear about what you are going to say. To help with that, I suggest KEEPING A JOURNAL of your symptoms and have all your medical records in order. Make it in depth. Before an appointment, WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT. This way, you won’t forget anything. I like to reverse in my head how it is going to go. You really have to TAKE CONTROL of the appointment. You are allowed to demand certain things. I had to demand a referral to a rheumatologist when one of my shit GP’s refused to. He ended up giving me one, and on my first appointment with the rheumatologist, I was diagnosed and put on medication. It is important to DO RESEARCH but not too much. Don’t let the doctors know that you’ve done too much or they will think you’re a hypochondriac or something, maybe hurt their ego, who knows. You need to have a GOOD GP. If you don’t like your current GP, find a new one. Do research on good GP’s in your area. Ask your friends and family about theirs. Also, the best indicator for a doctor to know where you are at in my experience is saying MY QUALITY OF LIFE IS POOR. Describing your symptoms in-depth and how they affect your day to day functioning is important. Lastly, I always think you should BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU. Bring someone you trust, someone who knows about your condition. This is useful because they can back up what you say, they are there for support, and a doctor is less likely to treat you like shit with someone else present. You should also brief the person who is coming with you about what you would like them to do in the appointment. Do you want them to just stay quiet, or would you like them to sometimes talk or want them to take control of the appointment? 

My advice for chronic pain

Pain killers (it make seem obvious, but they really help). This is a touchy subject for a lot of people, as there are obvious problems with long term pain killer use, but they are great for PRN. There is a possibility a doctor will not prescribe you with them though. 

NSAID’s (Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) can be helpful for pain

Tricyclic antidepressants are used to treat chronic pain

Topical treatments; I use tiger balm patches. These are the ones I use: https://www.amazon.com/Tiger-Balm-Plaster-Warm-Patches/dp/B07Q6WN9ZM. They help tremendously for me. I sometimes used tiger balm cream. Other good ones are Icy Hot vanishing gel and bengay. 

Pillows: I used 12 pillows to sleep with. I know it a lot. But it works really well for me. Experiment with pillows; between your knees, under your arm, behind your back, under your hip, under your legs, etc. I literally sleep on a bed of pillows. 

Reduce stress. High stress= more pain

Join support groups; I am on several FaceBook pages that talk about the issues that I have. This blog on Tumblr has been incredibly helpful. It’s good to have people who understand what you’re going through. 

I cannot exercise, but some people find it useful (i never did) 

Some people find meditation helpful (i do not)

Massages help but obviously, that’s not always accessible, they are expensive etc. 

My advice for chronic fatigue

Medications; depending on your diagnosis, some medications can help with chronic fatigue. The medicine that helps with my chronic fatigue is Plaquenil which is often used to treat fatigue-related with Sjogren’s. There are other medications that can help with the quality of sleep such as benzodiazepines and tricyclic antidepressants. 

Do not do too much activity (that has helped me, but for others moving and doing exercise and movement can help) 

Have a routine 

If you study, make sure you tell all your teachers and lecturers beforehand that you have a health issue that may impair your ability to come to class all the time or hand in assignments on time. In my experience, they have always been really helpful and understanding. 

I also studied a lot from home, using online resources. I also took fewer papers at university to make it more manageable for me.  

Look after yourself, make sure you eat good foods. A lot of people try different diets but they haven’t helped me personally but have been beneficial to a lot of other people. Definitely talk to your doctor about this though. 

Give yourself a break, do not be too hard on yourself if you cant do the things that others are doing 

Some doctors consider stimulant medication but I have not tried this

Lastly! Sjogren’s!

I know a bit about Sjogren’s because it’s related to the disease that I have. It is an autoimmune disorder. If you think you have Sjogren’s then you need to ask your GP to do blood tests associated with Sjogren’s such as rheumatoid factor, ANA, antibodies (anti-Ro (SS-A) and anti-La (SS-B) antibodies). Ask for a referral to a rheumatologist. SELF ADVOCATE. Do not stop until you find your answer. Also, get routine bloods. It is common for them to change over time. I

If any of my followers have Sjorgens and have any advice, please comment!

I hope this helped, I wish I could come up with more advice on how to deal with chronic pain and fatigue, but I know it is really hard. If any of my followers made it this far and have any tips, please add to this post and reblog it so that more people can see and add to it.

EDIT TO ORIGINAL POST

This information was supplied by a tumblr user called @graciecatfamilyband who actually has Sjorgens. They said:

 Blood work and other tests CANNOT rule Sjogren’s OUT. This makes it very difficult to diagnose 

30% of Sjogren’s patients will have negative blood work.Other tests may also not be sufficient, depending on where you are in your disease progress

Doctors are often undereducated about Sjogren’s and don’t see it as as serious as it is

Many patients will have neuro symptoms as well as other significant symptoms like fatigue before their lip biopsy focal score is 1 (which is considered “positive” for Sjogren’s).

https://www.sjogrensadvocate.com/ is a great resource for people who think they might have this disease. It also cites research articles you can show your doctor if you need to

They also offered to help out anyone who want to reach out to them if they have questions or need advice about Sjorgens and also, with diagnosis’s.

Keep in touch, let me know how it goes. Don’t be afraid to reach out and dm me.

Love Aston 

[grazer-razor]

ok, it’s time to do this.

in case you haven’t heard already, i have been banned from the hilda subreddit(/r/hildatheseries) since march. but to make things worse, i couldn’t even resolve the whole situation because i was told that if i “harassed” the mods, i would be reported to the reddit authorities. because of this, i did nothing out of fear of what they would do. not replying, missing out on hilda news, watching posts slowly get archived over the course of months... and never posting to the subreddit again.

this all changes today. today, i will present my reasons as to why i should be unbanned from the subreddit. mods, if you see this, please feel free to DM me on reddit.

first, a quick recap of what happened. i got banned from hildacord sometime in september 2019, and tried to send the subreddit a message about the surprise ban(because a link to hildacord was on there), to which the owner, hornets_descent, would respond to angrily. i would try to keep negotiating with hornet, and eventually, i responded to one of hornet’s comments in the subreddit, so he told me to leave him alone. but after i sent an essay, he banned me from the subreddit for 30 days. and after he saw a post i made on the discord subreddit about my ban(which i made due to this unfair and surprising behavior being on a partnered server), he decided to make the ban permanent.

when i tried to ask about my ban, i kept getting muted for 3-day periods, even when i gave honest apologies.(forgot about that part, though.) so i tried contacting one of the other mods, who constantly changes their reddit username. they made a compromise- if i left hornet, and by extension, hildacord alone, i would get unbanned. i agreed to this promise, and got unbanned.

nothing would happen until march, a week after my month-long break from the computer, thanks to the PR vanquish situation. i was browsing the subreddit, and came across a picture that portrayed hilda as, er... thicc. i noted how the picture got away with little to no repercussions, while my cutout of oliver nelson pointing was removed for being “creepy”. after just a few minutes, i got banned, and was told that if i tried to harass them, the reddit admins would be notified. i don’t even know if the person who banned me was hornet or not, because they hid their name when messaging through modmail. because of this, i couldn’t even message the other mods, in case they were the ones who banned me. i think it was hornet, due to my theory that he has a bias against me, but better safe than sorry.

now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to get cracking.

first off, i have kept my promise to never contact hornet again. i have even blocked him, so i wouldn’t see his messages, in case i would be tempted to reply to them, or in case i’d reply to him by accident.

secondly, this ban may have been because of something i did on the subreddit, but my first ban had nothing to do with the subreddit in the first place! it only took place within DMs, and maybe the discord subreddit. the reason why this is off is because... well, let’s use an analogy.

WARNING: THIS IS GONNA BE STUPID

suppose you have two balls, a red one and a blue one. if you do anything wrong in the subreddit, the red ball grows an inch. if you do anything wrong OUTSIDE of the subreddit, the blue ball grows an inch. if the red ball grows two inches higher(representing two wrongs in the subreddit, one warranting a warning, and the other necessitating a ban), you will be banned from the subreddit.(extreme wrongs can make the balls grow higher than one inch, though, banning you instantly.)

but in my case, the red ball only grew one inch, and the blue ball grew one inch too. even if the blue ball growing could get you a ban, the red ball would STILL have grown one inch, which is less than two! alright, i guess the red ball WOULD have grown two inches(one for my oliver nelson picture, and one for me calling out thicc hilda. the oliver thing was mostly innocent, though. but i actually thought about this in the middle of writing this, so i may have very well figured out why i got banned. but hey, guess i’ll post this anyway.), but in my eyes, the fact that i got banned when most of the wrongs i did were outside of the subreddit is unusual, and signifies that hornet really, really wanted me out of the fandom.

moving on. when i was banned, i was told that i was told not to break or bend the rules again, and that i had used up all my chances. but prior to that ban, i had not been told that- i was told not to contact hornet again!(or maybe they DID tell me not to break or bend the rules at one point, but i forgot. maybe it was when i got banned for the first time? sheesh, this is the second time i’ve had to correct myself in this post, what’s wrong with me?)

and finally, i have this to say. how would you feel, if i told you that even before my ban, hornet was conspiring to tell the reddit admins about me? i’m not even kidding about this. look-

oh yeah, and then there’s hornet’s raid, which I GUESS violates discord’s ToS.

and remember how i said i got banned within minutes on the subreddit? just keep that in mind... all in all, i believe hornet has a huge bias against me, due to my beliefs and actions.

i also thought a while ago about how hornet may have given me that threat on reddit to silence me. but luckily, tumblr is my platform. i just can’t believe i didn’t think of posting something on here until now.

i wish i could say more, but these are as much points as the archives of my drafts for sending to the mods say.

hopefully, i get unbanned... 9 months after i initially got banned.

[queen-boo]

I debated a long time what to type. And of to type anything at all, because I like to think tumblr is my safe space where I can keep and collect all the things that make me happy. But I think I need to get this off my chest, and doing it here, on this particular platform, feels more comfortable that anywhere else. Because one of the things I’ve always liked about tumblr is… Well there’s a certain level of anonymity isn’t there? I can be who I want to be here. And today, I kind of just want to be an anonymous person with a story to tell.

To those who have followed me for a long time, you will be aware I am an Achievement Hunter fan. A rather passionate Achievement Hunter fan. Those who more recently joined me for my other fandoms, there isn’t going to be much context to this post and no one is obligated to read or acknowledge it in any capacity. This is for my own sanity, to be honest, because I haven’t felt like a whole person since this news came to light. I promise eventually, I might be back to the blog you followed and making whatever content you followed me for. But I have to deal with this first.

I was a victim of Ryan Haywood.

To be honest. Victim isn’t the word I would prefer to use, I personally don’t like it. But I’m struggling to come up with another term. I will not be posting screenshots (though I do have them) and I will not be sharing too many details. Mostly for my own sake. I am not at a point where I can face what happened properly. I am not in a place where I can fully accept I am not to blame. Every day I am waking up and struggling with how things could have gone differently. The people in my life who are close to me and supporting me at this time, are a godsent, but I am still struggling to explain to them exactly what happened.

But again, for my own sanity, I’m here to vent otherwise this will swallow me whole. So what I will, say is this.

I was barely 18 years old. I looked up to this man. We exchanged messages, of which began innocently, and progressed to an explicit nature. I was young and niave and having a conversation with one of my idols–an actual Internet celebrity–and failed to see how dangerous this situation could be. Thankfully, being young and excited meant I took screenshots of our conversations to show a friend… Obviously on Snapchat, this notified him that a screenshot had been taken and he ceased talking to me.

Now comes the part I am struggling to tell anyone about. Even my partner. Even my friends. I had a second interaction with him. At a convention. In person. I had met him for a signing. I had spoken to him about my mental health, I gushed and praised as fans do, and I (perhaps stupidly) said something achingly honest about how I owed my life to him and the content he and AH makes. He hugged me, innocently, in view of his coworker and other fans, and told me he was glad I was still alive.

Later that night, at the events VIP party, I ran into him again. I was no longer in cosplay but dressed up, and when I spoke with him this time. He touched me. To most, an innocent touch. We were in a crowded room, my friends were not ten feet from us but engaged in conversation. I made a joke about being in my civilian clothes, he responded with the comment ‘but a very beautiful civillian’ and again–like a young fan being complimented by her idol would, I melted. We talked for ten minutes. He had his hand on my waist for at least fifty per cent of that interaction. Innocent to some, but to me, in hindsight. Not so much.

When later that night I reached out to Ryan on Snapchat to thank him for his interactions and coming to my country/city to meet us fans. We got talking again. And again, this conversation was anything but PG rated. It involved him 'wishing he wasn’t set to leave the next day’ and expressing many opinions on the clothes I was wearing and as you can imagine… Other less than savoury things. I did not think to screenshot these messages at the time, knowing that last time he had stopped talking to me when I did that. Though, after a time they petered out (likely because he went back to his country and I remained in mine - therefore useless to him) and I never heard from him again. Which, as you can imagine, knocked my young confidence.

Up until now, I had been starstruck enough to look at these interactions and think this was something cool. Something fun. I had thought I was special. Getting something that no other fan was. I felt wanted and beautiful. Its literally every fans dream right? To not only be noticed by your idol but appreciated by them. To be desired by them.

I was fortunate enough to never meet with Ryan in person and go through with anything. But do I believe, if the opportunity had arisen, that meeting would have been this man’s end goal? Yes. Do I believe that, as young and impressionable and eager to please an Internet celebrity as I was, I would have agreed to meet with him? Also yes.

I don’t really know what I’m hoping to gain from this. I don’t owe anyone but myself anything. But I think writing it down and screaming it into the void that is tumblr will help? I’m not sure. Maybe it will. Whatever the case, this post was for me. For no one else, and I am sorry for clogging up the dash of anyone who could care less about this AH drama!

But for the other victims out there, for the ones who have told your stories, for the ones who will tell their stories, and for the ones who won’t. I see you. I hear you. I believe you.

We will get through this. I promise.

[go-diane-winchester]

MISHA'S MUGGING NEVER HAPPENED

Tumblr is not allowing me to add to many screenshots, so if you need to see more receipts, please message me. 

I did a post on Misha's cult leader personality, suggesting that he uses sympathy rather than aggression to keep his devotees on his side.  I also did a post on his sexually inappropriate behavior with young girls that seems borderline pedophilic in nature.  This incident in Minneapolis, is a testament to that theory.  He told an elaborate lie, using sympathy to cover his hypersexual tracks. 

Misha claimed that on the Aug 21st 2015, he was leaving a restaurant when he was attacked, mugged and beaten.  In reality, he was at a nightclub in the early hours on the 22nd and as you can see, going by the date on the uploaded selfie, his face looks fine. 

Whilst at the club, he propositioned these two girls to engage in a threesome with him.  One of them, Amanda was presumably around 19 years old, at the time.  Contrary to what was previously assumed, Amanda is not a minion.  She watched the show and was aware of him.  Misha was already in his 40s.  The girls refused the proposition , and after the selfie, he left the club.  Amanda relayed this on her account.  She even stated that Misha made out with the friend on the dance floor.  I don't know the friend's age.  Hellers went after her calling her a liar, but in four years, her story hasn't changed.  She has stuck to what she said years ago.  This girl is gaining nothing from making these statement.  Another fan had to go looking for her on Tumbler.  She has an obscure tumblr because she is not looking for fame. 

This is an excerpt taken from the news outlet cited below.

Minneapolis police spokesman John Elder told the Star Tribune, though, that police had not been notified of Collins being attacked and he didn't know of any police report made about the incident. Elder said he had heard rumors about the attack. Read Newsmax: Misha Collins Mugged and Everyone Seems to Know But Cops | Newsmax.com

All of the news articles, you may have read regarding this alleged incident, are social media news blogs, not to be taken seriously.  The above news article, with a real news reporter, actually hits the nail on the head.  I wish I could copy/paste the entire article on to my post, but that would be plagiarism.  Please go read it.  Even the journalist sounded like he didn't believe Misha.  Check out the heading on the article. 

Jim Beaver tweeted his concern and support for Misha.  He also wrote a paragraph about it on his FB page.  Then he deleted everything when he realized, that Misha had lied.  Jensen and Jared who had appeared at the con only on the morning that they were supposed to go on stage, showed genuine concern.  By the end of the day, they [and every one else], were mocking the incident rather than being genuinely sympathetic.  Shatner mocked the mugging by calling Misha ''Boo''. 

Misha went after an underage fan and her friend, got shot down, stumbled out of the nightclub drunk, and fell on his face.  He never got mugged and therefore never reported it, because reporting a false crime is a felony.  But why did he lie?  What's wrong with getting sloshed and falling on your face?  He told fans about his open marriage.  What is wrong with telling them about this?  He made up the mugging because of the selfie.  At one point, Amanda tweeted that ''he ran out of the nightclub and nobody followed him''.  I wondered why he would run out of the nightclub.  He ran because he realized, only after taking the selfie and misbehaving with the friend, that his actual fans at the nightclub and he was worried that they might see him behaving sexually with the friend on the dance floor.  He knew she would post the selfie because she was aware of his ''poly marriage''.  Presumably, he told her that before propositioning her. 

He used the sympathy angle because asking an underage girl to sleep with you is one of the nation's biggest crimes.  So he quickly spread the mugging rumor.  He had the minions cover for him because they were already in poor Misha mode and went after the girl as soon as she opened her mouth.  Well played, Mr Collin.

The credit for the receipts regarding this post goes to a doll face, who went out of her way to gather the information.  All I am doing is posting it, in the main tags, along with my hypothesis, so the entire fandom will be aware of this.

[heyyyharry]

In Another Life Series: Chapter 3 - The Girl In Black

…in which Y/N’s first day at work is a mess, and Harry’s relationship is not any better.

Series description: Y/N and Harry are soulmates and destined to meet in every lifetime, but no matter how many times they reincarnate and find each other again, they never seem to get it right.

AU: reincarnation, soulmate!harry, prince!harry, and assistant!y/n

Sorry for taking too long to update this series, Tumblr fucked me up and deleted half a chapter. It would be the last time I wrote directly on Tumblr I’m sure of it. I hope you guys enjoy this, questions are very welcomed. Paragraph in italic took place in the previous life.

Chapter 2 - The Assistant: Harry’s got a new assistant, and Y/N’s got a new job.

.

Y/N didn’t expect her first day at work to start with her head down the toilet. It must have been the milk she’d drunk earlier that morning, or maybe the microwaved dinner from last night. But it didn’t matter now, the important thing was that her famous boss, whom she’d never actually met before, was waiting in the recording studio, while she was throwing up in this bathroom stall.

With her head spinning in circle, however, Y/N could still make out a knock on the door.

“Hey, ya alright?”

She should’ve recognized that British voice because she’d spent the entire night before watching his interviews on Youtube to get to know him better. Nonetheless, in a situation like this her memory was helpless.

“I’m fine…Thanks.” Y/N groaned as she flushed the toilet before rising up from the floor, feeling a bit better but still quite unsure.

“Sir, I don’t think you should be in the ladies’ room,” she told the man on the other side of the door.

And to her surprise, he replied with a laugh. “That’s why I’m in the men’s room.”

Y/N’s bloodshot eyes grew wide the moment she heard those words. She pulled the door open in an instant, then almost fell backward when she found Harry Styles standing right in front of her. Harry gave the girl a friendly smile, yet when he opened his mouth to speak, she immediately turned away and got back down on her knees to empty her stomach in the toilet bowl.

In the haze, Y/N could feel Harry kneeling down by her side, gently holding her hair back so it wouldn’t get in the way. It was a lovely gesture, she supposed, but he still had no idea she was his new assistant.

And the only thing on Y/N’s mind at this very moment was, her first day of this job could also be her last.

...

The girl in black carefully followed the path leading through the dark woods, with only the light from her oil lantern guiding the way. She was heading home alone, like a shadow under the moonlight, trying not to make a sound as her heart was pounding like a drum. 

The young maiden could’ve got home early that night as she was so close to her village already. However, it was one of her good habits that became her obstacle — she never walked away from someone in need.

“Hello?! Can anyone hear me? I’m trapped!”

Her feet rooted to the ground when she heard the cry for help. The girl already had her guards up, ready to fight for her life, but there was no one around! At first, she thought it was just her imagination, then the desperate call repeated, louder this time. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from a hole on the ground a few steps away from where she stood. 

“Who’s there?” she asked, carefully approaching the victim. Holding up her lantern above the hollow to get a better look of whoever was down there. When the light flashed across the person’s face, the girl was so terrified that she backed away from the edge.

“Hello, thank God! Could you please get me out of here?” begged the hopeless young man as he looked up. But this girl knew for certain he wasn’t just a man.

“You’re...You’re the Prince!”

“You recognize me?” Prince Edward smiled widely as he put both hands on his hips and heaved out a sigh of relief. “Great! Now could you please help me out?”

“No.”

Her answer came as a shock to the heir of the throne.

“Pardon?” he raised an eyebrow for no one had ever talked to him that way beside his father - the King.

“I said: No. In fact, I’d let you die down there, so your awful father could learn how it feels to lose someone he loves,” she told him bitterly. “I’m sure you’ve heard of how he burnt down villages because of those rumors about witches. He murdered my entire family. And now you’ve got the audacity to beg for my help?”

“Hey, hey, hey, lady, I don’t know who you are but I swear I knew nothing about those villages. I’m truly sorry about your family, and if you could help me I’d pay you as much as you’d like.”

“I don’t think you could afford it, unless you knew how to resurrect the dead!” The girl turned to walk away, ignoring the young Prince’s pleading from down below. It was getting late and she’d got no time for a conversation with a dying man. However, something occurred to her when she was finally far enough to not hear his voice anymore. 

If she left him there to die, she’d be just as bad as his father. 

“Your Highness.”

Edward shot his face up and grinned widely when he saw the girl had returned. She rolled her eyes skyward then sighed heavily before laying out her bargain, “if I save your life, would you do me a favor?”

“Anything!” Edward spoke too soon, after that he realized how risky this agreement could turn out to be and quickly added, “wait, if you want to turn me against my father, then I’m sorry I cannot give you my word!”

What he said made the girl laugh, then she assured him, “you don’t have to betray your family or your country, I promise. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes.” Edward nodded his head in response to the stranger standing on the edge of the hollow, holding his life in the palm of her hand. Now he could only count on his own judgement that she wasn’t going to kill him once he got out of there.

...

“How is she?” Harry asked the doctor once the man walked out of the room but Y/N wasn’t with him.

“She’s going to be fine,” the middle-aged man said with a gentle smile, making Harry feel more at ease. “The girl got food poisoning, not very serious so I’ve already given her some pills. Let her stay here for an hour to see if she feels any better then she can go.”

“Thank you, doctor” replied Harry as he shook the doctor’s hand then watched the man walk away. He intended to go into the room to check on his new assistant immediately, but the moment he grabbed the doorknob, the phone in his pocket buzzed to notify him of a new text. It was from his manager Jeffrey.

Hey are you alright?

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he read the question.

I’m fine, I’m still at the hospital with Y/N. Why?

You haven’t seen the pictures?

What pictures?

Jeff left Harry’s latest message at seen so Harry had to find out on his own. He immediately went on social media (it’s sad how this was his first guess) and the first thing he saw was an article published by an online magazine with all the pictures of his girlfriend making out with another man.

Lillie Xander caught kissing a new man!!! Yikes! How does Harry Styles feel about this?

For that one second, Harry almost stopped breathing. He wished those photos hadn’t been real, that they’d been photoshopped and his girlfriend of two years hadn’t cheated on him. However, reality sucked, and he felt like a fool.

Harry was still staring at his phone when the door flew open all of a sudden and slammed with hard against his left arm! The girl behind it immediately mumbled her apology and she looked more frightened when she recognized who he was.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be lying down?” Harry asked Y/N while rubbing the sore spot on his arm, making his new assistant feel extremely guilty. Not only had she made him drive her all the way to the hospital and thrown up on his expensive jacket, but she also slammed him with the door. She was so in trouble after this.

“Am I fired?” she stared at him with her sad puppy dog eyes, and it took Harry a moment to take it in before he burst into laughter.

“You honestly thought I was going to fire you for being sick on your first day?”

“And for destroying your Gucci jacket and not being able to buy another one for you even if I sold myself.” She rolled her eyes backward and groaned out loud. “What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t get anything right.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Harry caught her by surprise when he grabbed her arms, holding her firmly place so she would look at his face. 

Y/N turned to stone the very moment she made eye-contact with her new boss. Suddenly, everything started playing in slow-motion as she fell into the loop of his intense stare. Despite having already seen plenty photos of this man, Y/N was certain that wasn’t the reason why she found those green eyes of his so familiar. She had seen them somewhere else before she just couldn’t remember where exactly. It wasn’t just a feeling that ‘I met you once on the street but I remember you because you’re gorgeous’, it was more like ‘we don’t know each other but I feel like we have for a really long time.’ 

“Have we met?” Harry was the one to ask that question, and not Y/N, which shocked her even more when she fell out of the maze that was his eyes.

“I would’ve remembered, trust me,” she said, chuckling dryly as her eyes stayed on his.

“Weird...” Harry mumbled to himself, shaking his head then immediately put on a smile. “Well, don’t worry, you’re not fired, and I’m not mad at you for anything that’s happened this morning.”

For some reason she couldn’t explain, Y/N knew that smile wasn’t sincere. There was something bothering this man and he was just so used covering up his emotions that he did it like a pro. He couldn’t fool her though.

However, she didn’t say anything about that, and just smiled back at him. “Thank you so much. I can’t lose another job again.”

“Again?” Harry looked at her, quite amused. “You’ve been fired before.”

“I wasn’t fired, I quit my last job...But I’m sure you’re not interested in my boring life stories.”

“I am interested,” he told her without pause. “Why don’t we go somewhere later and you tell me about that awful job that you quit? If we’re going to be working close to each other, we should get to know each other, right?”

“You sure? Because in the schedule Jeff sent me—”

“That’s my schedule, I can cancel any plan I want. Jeff’s my manager, not my boss.”

“But he’s mine.”

Harry chuckled while shaking his head no. “He’s not, I am. He can’t fire you unless I tell him too.”

“That’s powerful.” The words slipped out before Y/N can stop her lips. “Shit...did I just say that?”

Her face scrunched up in embarrassment when Harry let out a slight laugh. “It’s okay, I like you already. I think we’re gonna be a good team.”

“Hope so.” Y/N looked up as her eyes sparkled with joy. “Shall we go now?”

“No, the doctor told me to keep you here for an hour.”

“I’m fine now, just ignore the doctor.” She snorted then just walked right past Harry to the nearest exit. 

He stayed at the same spot, watching her marching down the hall with his mouth agape, then when she noticed he wasn’t following her she stopped and turned around, looking all confused.

“What are you waiting for? Hurry!”

Harry snapped back to reality as he heard the sound of her voice. Then he shrugged off the foreign feeling in the pit of his stomach and ran forward to catch up with his new assistant. 

[airis-paris14]

Take a Break 20

Summary: AU where T’Challa loves Reader but is married to Nakia. Both of the women he loves try to convince him to take a break.

Warnings: fluff, self doubt, fluff, weddings, chick fil a

A/N: This is the end of the road. I’m so glad you’ve all been here with me. This was my first fic on tumblr. I’m so proud of how it turned out. I’m eternally grateful to all of the writers. ( @brianabreeze @kumkaniudaku @dramaqueenamby @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @halfrican-heat @sisterwifeudaku). Who were supportive of this new, upstart writer and her crazy idea. I sincerely hope you’ve all enjoyed. I look forward to keep writing fics for you all! Thank you so much for the journey. The next chapter of Redemption should be up soon. I’ve also got some other stories up my sleeve.

With all my love,

XO ❤️

“Now can you say Shuri?” The young scientist cooed. “Sure- ee.” Your son babbled in amusement as Shuri tried to combine him to say her name. “Suffe,” he giggled clapping his hands. “No sureee- eeee” the princess tried once again, to no avail. “Shuri,” you called. Alerting your son to your presence. He quickly reached out for you as you walked over to the princess. “Shuri, he is only nine months old. He can barely say, baba.” you grinned picking the chubby baby from her arms. ”hi umama's joy, ” you grinned. Kissing the young prince’s cheeks

“You are never to young to be a genius. Y/N look at me. I’ve been running the Wakandan technology department since I was 16. He could be doing it by 12.” The princess grinned. “Let’s get him walking first, then we can talk about becoming a child prodigy.” You smiled kissing the side of Shuri’s forehead. “Where is your brother?” You asked setting your son on his little feet. Gently supporting his arms, you followed him as he tried to toddle around. “Oh he told me to give this to you,” Shuri exclaimed handing you an elegantly folded note. “Here I’ll trade you Dakari for the note.” Shuri switched places with you. Dakari whimpered slightly as you walked from behind him. “I’m right here unyana wam,” you kissed his cheek once more before settling on the bench.

Hello my love,

I will be back late from my meeting tonight. Okoye has the project plans for the next phase of The Lost Tribe.

All my love,

T’Challa

“I guess I should actually get some work done today,” you sighed pushing yourself up off of the bench. “Come on Dakari. Let’s get some work done before Baba gets home,” The young prince giggled. You laughed, sweeping him out of Shuri’s arms. You both gave the princess a hug. “I’ll see you at dinner eh?” Shuri nodded her assent. You kissed her forehead once more. Carrying Dakari on your hip, you began the short walk to the training rooms.

The sounds and smells of the gym, hit you long before the sight did. The Dora stood in challenge formation, as a new initiate battled Okoye. Noticing your presence, the general winked before flipping the poor woman on her back. ”that will be all for the day, ” she smiled, extending an arm to help the woman up. ”Good job Aduba, we will continue working. But today you held your own. For that, I am proud.” the general smiled. Aduba’s smile stretched across the planes of her face. She saluted the general in time with the other Dora. Before running excitedly to her friends.

Okoye walked over to you. Her attention was immediately drawn to the giggling Dakari. ”nkosana wam omncinci, ” she cooed. ”the little prince is not so little anymore, ” you huffed, shifting Dakari higher on your hip. ”he will be a great warrior, ” she smiled.

”so far he is a certified genius and a great warrior. I'm afraid unyana wam will have the biggest head of them all, ” You teased, while Dakari giggled. You bounced him on your hip. ”T’Challa said you had some business plans for me?” You questioned the general. “Ah, Yes. I had them taken to your office when I decided to train.” She frowned apologetically. “Eh, I guess I will go do a final sweep through of the chateau before the construction workers come for renovations. Would you like to come with us?” You offered. “I am afraid I cannot. We are getting together to plan Ayo’s surprise party while she is out of town. “I was wondering who could convince the general to take a trip off,” You teased, I should have known only Ayo could do it.”

“Well, she was right. I trust that she can take care of T’Challa. We also needed to work on this party.” the woman admitted. “I will not hold you long then. I will be looking for my invitation in the mail,” you smiled. Okoye nodded once more before jogging over to the Doras. Your Kimoyo beads hummed gently on your wrist. You turned your palm up in surprise, before your mother’s hologram appeared from your beads. “So she is alive?” she sassed, raising an eyebrow in faux shock. “Hello to you too umama,” you sighed as you started your journey out to the car. “What is all that sighing for?” she frowned. “Because you aren’t calling about me mama.” She feigned shock, “Who says I am not calling about my wonderful, beautiful, daughter who can take care of herself.”

Mama, you have not asked about me since Dakari was born,” you frowned slightly. “Since you brought it up, how is my little Daka?” your mother grinned. Making kissy faces at the baby in your arms. “Goodbye mama,” you sighed about to turn your wrist over. “Wait a minute. I don’t know who you think you are, hanging up in your mother’s face like that. Don’t get too grown miss thang.” the older woman fussed through the phone. “I am sorry umama.” you apologized. “Now, I was calling to ask if i could hang out with you and Daka today. If you aren’t too busy?” she inquired. “Only if you do not mind watching him so I can get some work done.” you offered. “I never mind,” she grinned. “I’ve got to stop by my office to grab some paperwork then we will be by to pick you up.” you explained. “I am looking forward to it. See you soon babycakes.” She blew a final kiss into the beads. You turned your wrist over. Pushing open your office door, you grabbed the new files off of your desk. “What do you think about going old school today Daka?” you cooed. Walking down the halls, you quickly notified the security of your departure. Grabbing the keys to the car you shared with T’Challa, you stepped in to the brightly lit garage.

You sat Dakari on one hip, hoisting the baby car seat onto the other. You briefly sat dakari in the front seat. Maneuvering the seat into the car, you grabbed the prince and placed him his car seat. At your command, the seat belts slid into place. Ignoring Dakari’s cries of protest, you slipped into the front seat. Waving the metal key plate over the sensor, the car locked into your kimoyo beads. The engine purred quietly as you switched rinto reverse. Ari Lennox poured through the speakers. The city center fell behind as you headed to your mother’s house. You smoothly floated into the driveway. Not wanting to leave Dakari alone, and not necessarily wanting to take him out of the seat.You sent your mother a quick message.

A minute later she appeared on the front porch. Quickly locking the front door, she glides down the steps and into the back seat. After showering Dakari with kisses she settled in, finally turning to you. “Hey baby,” she smiled. “Hey mama.” You pulled the car into gear and quickly began the journey to Gracemeadow.

“How are you my love?” Your mom called from the backseat. Dakari latched onto her finger, playing in his own little world. “I’m good. Been rather busy lately.” You signaled a turn. The hover train passed by quietly. “That’s good. Are you adjusting to the new workload well?” She inquired. “ I believe so. Most of my duties are speaking and interacting with the people. Also with social outreach. The worst parts are paperwork and council meetings. I still prefer paperwork to having to deal with the elders,” you frowned.

“Ah Yes, those pompous pain in the asses,” your mother frowned as well. Your mouth fell open in shock. As long as you had known her, your mother was not one to use obscene language for no reason. “What? I have had my fair share of runs ins with the council,” she shrugged, the corners of her mouth turning up into the hint of a smile. “Believe or not, who the best friend of the king marries, is kind of a big deal. Council had your grandparents and I vetted twice.” She explained. “You’re joking right?” She laughed. “I wish I was..,” she paused, “speaking of Royal men. How is my son in law?” A laugh tumbled out of your throat before you could stop it. “What is so funny?”

“Mama. No one is married. You’ve been calling T’Challa your son in law since the day you met him. Back in year 10.” You smiled, recalling the way the then prince’s eyes widened in shock. “Call it mother’s intuition, but I just knew it was meant to be. You two were going to get together, and stay together. Albeit a very roundabout way, you both made the way back to each other.” She grinned. “And you both gave me my favorite grandchild.” She cooed over Dakari. “Mama, Daka is your only grandchild, unless there’s something I need to,” you started. “For now.” She interrupted. “Though. If T’Challa gets his way, he won’t be alone for long,” the older woman grinned as the car landed gently in front of the chateau.

“What do you mean has his way,” You turned to face her as she unbuckled your son. “Don’t try to fool me. The way you two go at it. Even now that Dakari is born, I’m surprised you’re not pregnant again.” She dismissed. Stepping out of the car with a sleeping Dakari. “Now I know he’s got a promise ring and a whole country on the premise that he’s going to marry you. But have you two talked about making it official?” She pressed following behind as you unlocked the wooden door. “It is official mama. I am a queen in training.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, that’s all good and great for you. But I mean wedding date official.” She insisted, shutting the large door behind her. Your sandled feet padded around on the tile floors as you searched the corners of the kitchen. “We will when we are ready mama. We’ve been in counciling for a few months. It’s been beneficial to us both. We both had some issues to deal with. The biggest thing has been trust and vulnerability. I am ready whenever T’Challa is, But I will not rush him to his decision. He needs to be ready to take that leap with me. If he’s not there yet, he’s not there yet. That’s ok.” You explained.

“ I am glad you all are taking the time to better yourselves. But is been ten years. 8 of those you’ve been together for. Time is marching on. Neither of your are getting any younger. Don’t you want to start a family?” She insisted. “We have started a family.” you rebutted. “One that is planned,” she corrected. You turned in frustration as she stared at you from the kitchen island. You sighed, gently falling back onto the kitchen counter. You took the moment to glance out he window, your mother lightly bouncing Dakari back to sleep. Your head dropped with the outpouring of breath. Searching for the right way to express your feelings. “For the past two weeks, T’Challa has barely said two words to me umama. It went from nightly calls to letters. Letters that he has passed to me through other people. For Bast’s sake they are typed mama. He doesn’t even take the time to write me a letter.” your voice quivered with unshed tears. You dabbed at the corner of your eyes where you felt tears beginning to form. “intombazana yakho,” your mother started as you wiped furiously at the tears that watered the roses of your cheeks. “I did not mean to hurt you,” she tried again. Laughter strangled its way out of your throat. The soft sound worried your mother. Shaking your head, you grabbed the closest dish towel to dry your eyes. “No, I shouldn’t have worried you.” you apologized. “I… I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I have done something. If I messed it all up.” Your mother frowned. Cradling Dakari in one arm she made her way over to you and pulled you close. “Do not blame yourself my love. Just talk to him.” she soothed, rubbing circles on the curve of your back. “And you never worry me ok. It’s my job to be here for you. Even now, when you’ve got a child of your own.” You nodded, continuing to gather the tears that streamed down your face.

The sound of the front door opening startled you both. “Hello?” T’Challa’s voice rang through the house. “Entle?” Your betrothed’s voice reached Dakari’s ears. Your son began to cry out for his father. As the footsteps padded closer, you turned to the sink, scrambling to wipe the tears from under your eyes. “Umama,” T’challa’s voice laced with surprise filled the room. You heard them embrace before Dakari’s giggled floated through the room. His change in arms was now evident. “Entle?” T’Challa addressed you, “Y/N? Are you not happy to see me?” he teased. “Come on Dakari,” your mom interrupted. “Come one baby boy, I’ll show you where you lived while you were in mommy’s tummy.” The little prince whined, his grandmother prying him from his father’s arms. The king waited until your mother had left the room before her approached you. “Entle? What happened. You fidgeted with the dish towel, straightening it over and over as you avoided the question that currently sat. Fat and heavy on your vocal chords. “T’Challa, did I do something wrong?” you whispered. “What? Why would you think that?” he came closer, turning you to face him. “I.. I just- You haven’t looked at me in weeks T’Challa.” you confessed.

“What do you mean,” he frowned, “We’ve been with each other every night. Multiple times a night love. I don’t think I could do much more,” he laughed cautiously. “No.. Not that… I mean that’s fine- I mean it’s great,” you rambled. “Then what do you mean entle. I cannot help until you communicate a problem.” he stooped down to catch your gaze. Which up until then, had been intent on studying the marble floors. “ Outside of the bedroom. In the halls, I try to catch your eye and you look the other direction. You are always out with Nakia or Okoye. You spend hours in the lab with shuri and ask not to be disturbed. You take dinner in your office. Alone. You come in. We have sex. Then you’re up before the sun, and gone long before I wake.” you spilled. Emotions flooded back into your voice. T’challa’s head dropped, and so did your heart. “It’s just, if- if you didn’t want me around anymore you should have said so.” the last words, tumbled out as a whisper. Silence smothered the room as T’Challa hung his head in silence. “I should have listened to Shuri,” he finally cursed. “What?” you asked tentatively. “I am sorry Entle,” he apologized. He took both of your hands in his own. “I was trying to surprise you.” he sighed. “I was with Nakia and Okoye trying to find a ring for you. So I could propose. I mean we went to every country in the world. I couldn’t make up my mind. So the last time. I asked Shuri to accompany us. And we found it.” his mouth broke into a grin. “I was planning this whole elaborate plan. And Dakari and I had matching suits.” his enthusiasm was infectious. You soon found yourself grinning slightly as well. “ I was trying to keep it a secret. I knew if I was around you too long I would tell it all. So I tried to avoid you,” his grin fell, “ but it seems I hurt you instead. I am truly sorry entle. I just wanted to surprise you.” he frowned. “Oh,” silence filled the kitchen once more, “ I guess I always ruin your surprises huh?” you joke half heartedly. He came to lean against the counter next to you. Intertwining your fingers, he pressed a light kiss to your knuckles. “Mhmm,” he hummed, “ I am sorry I caused you to doubt yourself. It was never you.” He assured. “Hmm… What happened with the ring?” you pried innocently. “Noo,” T’Challa laughed. “What. I just asked a question?” You shrugged. “I’ve already ruined the surprise partly. Let me have this one thing,” the king begged. “Fine,” you conceded. “You want something to drink?” You walked over to the large fridge, which you always kept stocked with water. “I am good. Shuri made us stop by her favorite restaurant before we came back.” He replied, watching you move around the kitchen. Fingering the velvet box in his suit pocket. “Oh,” you glanced over your shoulder. You grabbed a couple of water bottles out of the closet. Moving towards the fridge to restock the bottles. “Yeah, quite a curious little establishment.” he replied, watching as you moved back to the pantry for more water. “They are unlike any other american restaurant i’ve been to entle. I mean- They make tons of money selling chicken, and lemonade. While only being open 6 days a week. With reasonable hours.” T’Challa explained. Your snort surprised and warmed the young king’s heart as you placed the remaining bottles in the fridge. As his fingers ran over the black box, he knew this was the moment.

“Chick-fil-a?” your laugh pulled him back down to earth. “Yes! I have become quite fond of that American Lemonade.” he laughed. He took a deep breath, and kneeled behind you. “Think we could get it flown in for the wedding?” he finished. ‘Are you serious T’Challa? You laughed, closing the large fridge door. You shook your head turning to find the love of your life kneeling before you. Your gasp prompted him to speak. “Very. Because I want you Y/N Fezile to marry me. To be my wife, and raise our son together. And to sip lemonade together. You in the most beautiful dress ever created wearing my ring and my last name. Forever.”

I think we should call Chick-fil-a,” you cried ambushing him in a bear hug after a pregnant silence. His laugh filled the room, “We should huh?” You nodded as tears streamed down your face. He gently gripped your left hand and pulled the stunning ring out of the box. A fresh wave of tears cascaded down your cheeks as it slid over your finger. “Its beautiful T’Challa,” you sighed. The ring glinted in the setting sun.”You are beautiful,” T’Challa pressed a kiss to the ring. Dakari crawled from around the corner. He plopped himself in the middle of you two. “Our family, is beautiful.” T’Challa corrected kissing his son’s cheek. “Our family is the future. And the future is beautiful,” You smiled. Pressing a kiss to both of your boys’ cheeks. The sun setting behind the small family. Only to rise again, over Wakanda. And its new royal family.

Taglist!:

@almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @nyneebee @hutchj @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @yoyolovesbucky @derangedcupcake @builtalongthewayside @ilcb7 @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites

[goawaysugardrop-blog]

SUGARDROP50 CALLOUT POST

CONTRIBUTORS: Darth | Shining | RainbowB | Carl DISCLAIMER: DO NOT GO WITCHHUNT THE USER MENTIONED IN THIS CALLOUT. WHILE WE DO FIND HIS ACTIONS UNCALLED FOR, THREATENING PEOPLE’S LIVES IS EVEN MORE HARMFUL.

Youtube/Twitter user Sugardrop50, or otherwise known as bart-enderman on Tumblr, is a known Miitopia artist. However, behind closed doors, the user is also known for having to have been abusive towards Shining, their former datefriend, going as far as doxxing them and making them feel unsafe in the Miitopia community altogether, making them go as far as leaving the Amino they once lived to avoid him. He is also known to have allegedly reblogged NSFW of incest, and drew art of his Ex-Dark Lord that’s a child, via child pornography. This callout post will consist of the many witnesses who have been aware of his behavior, and you’ll be hearing from the victim themselves.

-       EVIDENCE #1: NSFW BLOG

The user had previously owned a NSFW blog dedicated to posting inappropriate art that contained incestual and pedophilic themes. The previous blog name, which went by sugardrop-nsfw, was known to have multiple instances of art pieces that promoted said themes, and had drawn a sketch their Miitopia OC being raped by Terror Fiends (bestiality) in two pictures, both as the Dark Lord and as the Ex-Dark Lord. The blog lasted for about a week until deletion, possibly due to fearing they would be spotted of their fetishization of children. Evidence is currently lost, but please notify us if you have any photos of the NSFW art.

-       EVIDENCE #2: DOXXING

Sugardrop50, prior to the breakup with Shining, immediately went berserk and went as far as sending someone to dox them of their address. Minutes after the breakup, the victim would receive an anonymous message that would as them if they “live on Bell Street.” Fortunately, the victim informed their father of the doxxing. Sugardrop would be dismissive of the threat as well and taunt Shining.

-       EVIDENCE #3: MISINFORMATION

The man has made a callout post in regards to Shining on Tumblr, mainly regarding the suicidal or depressed feelings they had during their relationship. However, despite the evidence he had placed on said callout post, most of it was misinformed, and most of the evidence is Sugardrop, himself, being very self-centered, mainly showing how much of a controlling person he was.

-       EVIDENCE #4: TOXIC/ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

Sugardrop is known to have been viciously toxic towards not just Shining but others in the community. There had been numerous witnesses who have been at the receiving end of this behavior and his childish outbursts. Others have also witnessed their terrible treatment of other users in Discord servers, or have almost been manipulated by him.

-       EVIDENCE #5: BEING IRRATIONAL AND JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Despite numerous reminders from both Shining and other people, Sugardrop has made other irrational claims before, most of which are false accusations of others. During most of the relationship with Shining, Sugardrop would try and place blame on them for not having enough money or a job despite Shining telling them over and over again that they were job searching and trying to build up their portfolio in order to have better luck getting a job in their chosen field. Other times, Shining would be away from messages and be doing something non-Sugardrop/Discord/Miitopia related and instead do something like be in class or shopping for groceries and Sugardrop wouldn’t like not talking to them for long periods of time. Shining even went to Sweden over the summer for a vacation and Sugardrop wanted to hear from them every day. In short, if Shining was not online then Sugardrop was displeased.

-       EVIDENCE #6: SUGARDROP’S OWN UNSTABLE MENTAL HEALTH

Despite the terrible mental illness presented in Sugardrop’s callout of their ex, Sugardrop also faced events of wanting to end their own life. They would seek out Shining and express how bad they felt and their desire to end themselves as Shining would try to talk him down. This, in turn, made Shining feel like life wasn’t worth living without Sugardrop and even tried to kill themselves without their knowledge. These events passed back and forth and created a warped, if not eventually toxic relationship. The effects of living with his father is actually from when he lived with his sister to get away from his parents and his sister still treated him badly as well and this made him seal his own emotions to appear cold and disheartened, causing Shining to be dragged along.

-       EVIDENCE #7: PRESSURE OF SEXUAL RELATIONS/CONTENT

Shining identifies as Agender and Panromantic and went by she/her pronouns during the course of the relationship. They told Sugardrop this and he told them that he was okay with this but later dropped hints of wanting sexual relations before outright telling them. Shining denied advances before giving in due to pressure. An additional note is that Sugardrop even labeled their relationship as ‘straight’ despite Shining retelling him of their gender identity multiple times.

-       EVIDENCE #8: REFUSAL OF OUTSIDE RELATIONS

It was evident now that Sugardrop was a very controlling person. During the relationship with Shining, Shining desired to be friends with others or to keep previous friendships. Sugardrop was not too keen on this and even threw sad fits over Shinings wishes and tried to earn pity points with them to try and waive their interests. Even friends of the two would converse about talking or trying to be friends with other people and Sugardrop would give a stubborn ‘no’ or vaguely sad argument to dishearten them. Shining expressed desires of befriending a person and Sugardrop somehow jumped to the idea of Shining wishing to date this new friend and became distant.

-       EVIDENCE #9 - VAGUING

Within the past several weeks, Sugardrop has been talking behind the backs of Shining and other known abuse victims. When Shining made a video venting their feelings in regards to the situation, he immediately lost it, making numerous outbursts and sending other people to harass them and several other friends online. While doing so, many anonymous people called him out on using excuses to deny the fact he’s the one who abused her. To add insult to insult to injury, he would also have an outburst on anonymous people who called him out on what he’s done.

Statement from Shining:

A lot of Sugardrop’s callout is aimed at my self-destructive behavior that had built up from the relationship. I was not of sound mind during the end of this toxic relationship due to Sugardrop being the only one I talked to 24/7 and he was the keeper of all my secrets back then. He was very clingy and would talk down to me for not having a job despite him not having a job himself, would forget and throw a fit as to why I would be away from chatting with him for a time (this was mostly when I had to keep reminding him that I was trying to get a better job or internship in animation but had a weak animation/demo reel to show to studios or companies so I was trying to work on that, I even was poor and in bad living conditions myself and wanted to meet up with him so searching for a job would help with money problems for both of us), and even humiliate or joke on me publicly even when I told him to stop. There’s more to go on about with his mean behavior not only to me but my friends and others in contact with us or just strangers on the same server.

Being around Sugardrop put a drain on me. For a long time I wanted out of this relationship, but after being with him for so long I feared what would happen to me if I broke off the relationship. We both left a server because of another person suicide-baiting everyone and sending me death threats to a friend and me later down the line. I was afraid I wouldn’t be welcomed back in that server due to siding with him based on how he handled the situation. Thankfully everything worked out in the end where the person was booted out of the server and I could safely come back in (though that person would later come back and threaten me and a friend so a callout post was made at them before they apologized and the post was taken down to give them a second chance, sadly they’ve gone back to dirt-talking about me and even claim that I hate them and haven’t moved on from them even though I barely even think about them anymore) and was I was able to regain some mental stability.

During our relationship he did confirm to me that he was plotting his own suicide and I would be the one trying to talk him down but this would mostly end with him ending the conversation on a vague note for the night and me going to bed screaming and crying into my pillows. This wore me down so much over time and my confidence shattered badly while my own anxiety and depression skyrocketed because I became so dependant on him. Mind you, this was my first relationship too so I thought that some of this was normal, to an extent. Part of the reason this relation lasted so long was because I was completely clueless on some parts as to how romantic relationships worked. I was a coward for not breaking this off sooner and felt trapped in the relationship.

My mental health worsened and I told him I couldn’t go on anymore, I hadn’t felt so bad in years. I eventually did find the courage to calm myself down and sought out help online (my psychiatrist wasn’t open 24/7 and you had to make reservations ahead of time, it was a gamble trying to get her on the line when it was an emergency). Eventually I did feel better and even started talking with other friends and have a calming down time being away from chatting since I needed a breather from Sugardrop. He was glad that I was feeling better until I told him that I sought help online. He blew up and I finally snapped- ending the relationship.

It took me months to get better, during the first few weeks I was a mess trying not to cry in front of others or in front of my driving instructors (the driving training was hard on me because I pushed for it so much just so I could get experience to go and see him since we lived in the same state). I was finally able to recover and move on, deleting his contact number, blocking him on all medias he told me he was on, and deleting everything he ever said or gave me. There was no way he’d come back into my life.

Then he showed up on the Miitopia Amino and I had a panic attack and felt very depressed, I was even shaking sometimes due to the idea of him being in a space I thought was safe for me. I eventually learned to ignore him and put him out of my mind but then I had a terrible nightmare about him and decided that this was it- being on the Amino with him around was not possible for me unless I were to face a steep decline of my mental health. I asked a mod to see if anything could be done but this was deemed an ‘outside issue’ so there was nothing more, so that was it. I made a note saying I couldn’t be on there anymore due to me being unsafe since I was popular there and didn’t want to feel guilty for leaving them. I had a withdrawal from Amino and spoke with friends about it, trying to gain back some confidence and mental stability. Then a friend messaged me about my ex having a twitter where I saw that he was attacking one of my posts and even linking a callout towards me on his new tumblr. I had a panic attack and had to tell people I knew immediately about what was going on. He had successfully entered my life again, this time against my will. His post is full of misinformation and he points out a post I made where I was feeling bad for feeling like I had messed up a friendship at school.

I’m thankful that friends and strangers alike have come to my defense and have torn down his callout but there is little chance of me ever speaking to him again still and I would prefer it if I ever to never see him again. I’m still recovering from what he did and him putting false accusations of me has set me back farther. I’m trying to heal and being away from him has worked pretty well so far. I love my friends and everyone who supports me, thank you.

[notarelationship]

Along For The Rides Ch 11

Blaine and Kurt get their summer romance on. Mostly fluff, awkward flirting, a side of misunderstanding and some hanky panky.

Rating: G (yeah sorry) Words: This chapter ~ 6000 Warnings this chapter: none

Read it on AO3,

Read it on Tumblr

So this is the end. Thanks for reading, and thanks to @honeysucklepink for all her work on this. (This chapter I beta’d myself, so I really hope it’s coherent.)

I’m not entirely sure I’m done in this verse, I have a couple things I might want to go back and add as standalone chapters. Also, I’m always up for prompts in anything I’ve published.

Here we go!

--

Kurt is finishing Mrs. Leahey’s oil change when he feels his phone buzzing in his back pocket. He knows it was Blaine, he had flown out with his parents two days earlier for their summer vacation in the South of France (and Kurt wasn’t at all jealous, no he was not), and he’d only had reliable wifi at the airport. But he is supposed to be arriving at their hotel today and Kurt had been expecting a text for the past couple hours.

B: Have you heard anything yet?

K: I told you you would be the first person I tell. K: So no.

Kurt still hadn’t heard from NYU about his admission, and Blaine was almost as eager as Kurt to get some news.

B: :-(

K: Yes, me too K: Are you having fun?

B: we jsut got here. i’m at the bar with mom

K: that doesn’t really answer my question

B: oh, it definitely does. B: not really, on hte fun B: but I am drinkning nice french wine

K: wow I’m not at all jealous. Please tell me more about this french wine

Blaine doesn’t text right back, so Kurt assumes he got distracted and starts cleaning up his work area. It’s late and he’s ready to go home and shower off the garage. According to Blaine, his mother liked to bond with him when they were on vacation, so that meant spending a lot of mother/son time.

B: what are you wearing?

K: seriously?

B: yeah, are you at the garage? what time is it there?

K: just finishing up, so still in my coveralls

B: send me a picture?

K: Blaine!

B: you look hot in those B: you know i like it

K: omg

B: come on Kurt

Kurt sighs to himself, but he’s going to take the picture. It’s not the first time Blaine has asked, and besides, Kurt has a whole folder of photos that Blaine has sent him over the past few weeks. All of them fully clothed, all of them adorable.

In the time it takes Kurt to get to the locker room, where the light is a little better for selfie-arrangement, Blaine does send a picture. It’s framed around his face, with one side of it resting on his hand. He looks a little worn from travel, and a little rumpled, and — Kurt thinks — completely adorable. He’s even wearing a bow tie.

And that’s another thing. Since Blaine’s stint with the carnival ended Kurt has noticed that Blaine’s appearance has gotten progressively neater with every photo he’s sent. Mostly it’s his hair, which has gone from a mop of curls of varying length to something much more neatly presented. Kurt hasn’t asked him about it, but he can’t say he minds.

K: you look adorable. Exhausted but adorable

B: well I am both

Kurt grins and, after several attempts, sends Blaine a photo he’s happy with

B: oh wow B: I wish I was alone in my room right now

K: omg

B: no I mean it, you look amazing

K: I look sweaty and covered with motor oil

B: and I love it

Kurt bites his lip. Blaine does that a lot — tells Kurt that he loves things about him, his hair, his collection of vintage scarves, his sense of humor. When they were playing 20 questions the day before Blaine left, he spent an excessive amount of time telling Kurt how much he loved his voice, once Blaine had convinced him to sing for him. It’s far, far too early Kurt to think he’s in love, but it’s still nice to hear from a cute boy.

B: oh I gotta run B: mom is trying to get the bartender to do shots with her B: I’ll text you tomorrow. Night

K: night Blaine. Don’t drink too much

--

Kurt is down in his basement sewing room altering some vintage jeans he bought off ebay when he hears his dad come lumbering down the stairs.

“Kurt! Kurt an envelope came! And it’s a big one. That’s a good sign, right?”

Kurt’s pretty sure he knows what’s in the envelope. He’d been notified by email three days earlier that he’d been accepted. He hadn’t said anything to anyone because he was afraid it would wind up as some kind of clerical error and not be true. Yet another cosmic joke in the misadventure that had been his life. He hasn’t even told Blaine.

“Are you gonna open it?” His dad is practically bouncing.

“Calm down,” he mumbles, hoping his dad is too excited to be upset with him for being testy. Kurt swivels around on his seat, closing his eyes and holding out his hand for the envelope. He thinks he might pass out.

Kurt doesn’t realize that he’s shaking until his dad puts a hand on his shoulder and he stops. “Kurt? Do you want me to look first?” Burt asks.

Kurt manages a hoarse, “No, I can do it.”

The envelope holds a few sheets of paper, some glossy brochures, and a printed letter. Kurt puts everything down but the letter, looking at his dad once before reading it out loud.

“Dear Mr. Hummel, Congratulations! We are happy to inform you that you have been accepted as a matriculating freshman at New York University’s Tisch School for the Arts, General Studies program….”

There are some other words, but Kurt doesn’t care about those right now.

“I’m in Dad.” He manages a dry swallow and looks at Burt. He wants to say something else, but his tongue won’t work, and it wouldn’t matter anyway. Burt wraps him so tightly in his arms Kurt is pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to do anything other than squeak.

“I’m so proud of you Kurt,”Burt chokes out, and Kurt can hear the tears in his father’s voice.

--

The rest of the summer is a blur. Since he’s a late admission he has a ton of things to do and not a lot of time. There are forms to fill in, deposits to make, and classes to register for, never mind the formidable task of deciding which clothes to bring with him to New York.

He didn’t get accepted to the Musical Theater program, but there are classes in the program available to him, and when Kurt finally gets someone on the phone in the admissions office they tell him that if his grades are good and he’s willing to audition again, he should be able to transfer in for sophomore year, if not the winter semester. That’s good enough for Kurt.

They only thing that’s less than perfect is Blaine. Blaine had been so ecstatic when Kurt texted to let him know he was moving to New York that he’d called him on the phone from France and they spoke for half an hour. But he’s seven solid hours ahead time-zone wise, and Blaine’s mother seems to think she needs to monopolize all of his time on their vacation in case Blaine decides to never come home or visit or call, just like his brother never does. So they text, but they don’t catch each other as often as either of them would like. The weekend Kurt leaves Lima for New York City they hadn’t had any contact in two days.

—

By the time Blaine’s plane lands in New York he’s worked himself into a worried mess. His mother had been annoyed when he told her he was going to have to leave their vacation early to make his orientation weekend in New York, so she decided that the best way to deal with that was to monopolize every minute of Blaine’s time while they were in France.

That means he and Kurt were almost never texting each other in real time, and by the time his plane lands in NY the Friday he’s supposed to start orientation, it’s been days since he’s actually had contact with Kurt. Blaine has heard stories about how you people live in New York for years without seeing friends who live mere blocks away, and he’s determined for that not to happen to him and Kurt.

So Blaine gets checked in and drops his bags at the holding area -- they aren’t even getting their room assignments until after dinner, then finds a quiet spot. His phone still has some juice, so he shoots off a quick text to Kurt. He doesn’t want it to be too pushy, but he needs to let Kurt know he’s here.

B: I’m here! In New York! B: I don’t know if you’re here yet, but I’d love to see you!

Blaine stares at his texts. I’d love to see you??? That sounds like something he’d send his cousin. Before he can come up with something more in tune with the actual excitement he feels about finally being in the same city as Kurt, his orientation section leader calls for everyone in the group to turn their phones off and pay attention. Blaine does, but only because he wants to send the perfect message, so he needs time to compose something.

--

Kurt’s flight is late. He’s supposed to register at 4:30, get his dorm key, move in, and then attend a snack and non-alcoholic drinks party in the common area starting at 5:30. When he finally frees his luggage from what has to be the most run down looking carousel in any airport in the US, Kurt has already decided that he’s not going to risk taking the bus into Manhattan. It’s worth spending some of his limited cash to get where he needs to be. He stands in the too long line for a taxi, looking around at the people and the cars and the bustle. For a moment nothing else matters. Even the airport is thrilling in New York.

Kurt calls his dad once he gets in a cab, and again when he gets to the dorm. His admission information had told him he was going to be in a triple -- one of the unfortunate side effects of being a late admission, but he didn’t realize exactly what that would mean. The room is small.

His roommates have been there for a week, and both of them have already been through orientation. Jeremy seems nice, and had claimed the single bed and the desk under the window. Kurt doesn’t meet their other roommate right away, but Jeremy tells him his name is Joe. Kurt is silently grateful that Joe took the top bunk by choice, so at least Kurt doesn’t have to worry about falling out of bed in the middle of the night. But Kurt is going to have to do some adjusting.

When he gets back to his room it’s after eleven, but Kurt feels a little more relaxed. Thankfully his roommates are still awake, so he doesn’t disturb them while he makes up his bed and gets ready to sleep. They chat and ask him simple questions about where he’s from and what he’s studying, and they both seem nice and happy to be in New York too, so Kurt is hoping he’ll be able to make the living arrangements work. Kurt takes a quick shower in the communal showers down the hall, and when he finally crawls into bed he’s asleep before he can count to ten.

--

“So, did he text you yet?”

Blaine is having breakfast with two of his suitemates -- David and Wes -- and apparently he’s already talked about Kurt so much they’ve both become invested in his attempts to make contact.

Blaine tries not to let his disappointment show when he answers, but he can tell by the sympathetic looks Wes is giving him that he’s probably not that successful.

“He, uh, texted me when I was in the shower. He’s got orientation all day, but he’s here. In New York.” Blaine doesn’t tell them that Kurt had pre-emptively cut off seeing him at all for at least a week by telling him how full his schedule was. At least that’s how it had felt to Blaine. “We’re trying to set a time to get together.” Kurt’s dad was coming in the next weekend to bring him all his stuff, so it was looking like almost two weeks before they’d be able to see each other.

“Blaine,” Wes starts. “You’re going to be pretty busy too, you know? Between class and group projects and meeting with your advisor, you’re not really going to have a lot of time to yourself for a while.”

Blaine pokes a straw into his milk carton, too aggressively. “I’ve never had any trouble keeping up with my schoolwork.”

“Dude, this isn’t like high school. You’re at Juilliard. You’re going to be practicing Lizst until your fingers bleed.” David watches him poke at his eggs. He doesn’t really want to eat them. “Are you gonna eat those?”

Blaine pushes his plate across the table toward David. “I’ll be fine.”

“Look Blaine, I’m not trying to be harsh, but it’s really common for high school romances to not survive the move to New York - or anywhere, actually. You’ve both gone off to college. You’ll both want to be taking advantage of that freedom, won’t you?”

Blaine blinks and looks at Wes. He’s not -- “Kurt’s not my high school boyfriend.” He doesn’t miss the skeptical way David and Wes look at each other before returning their attention to Blaine. “We met over the summer,” Blaine hurries to explain. “We discovered we were both going to be going to school in New York City and we --” Blaine hesitates. Maybe Kurt doesn’t want this as much as he does? He doesn’t know how to know the answer. Blaine thought he did. Kurt seemed to be worried about whether he would get to New York at all, but maybe he wasn’t sure about Blaine either? “We wanted to connect once we got here.”

“It hasn’t been 24 hours Blaine,” Wes rolls his eyes. “Get settled. You have time to work it out.”

Blaine wants to believe that, so he forces a smile. David starts telling them about a girl he met yesterday in the drama program, and Blaine tries to let himself be distracted.

--

“I don’t know Rachel, it’s been like three weeks and we can’t seem to connect.” Kurt has Thursday mornings open, so Rachel offered to come down and meet him at the diner around the corner from his dorm. “Maybe he doesn’t really want to see me?” He orders pancakes from the waitress and hands her his menu.

“Ooh, are the pancakes vegan?” Rachel asks the waitress, who just glares at her with one eyebrow raised. Rachel closes her menu and pushes it to the edge of the table. “I’ll have the pancakes too.” Once the waitress leaves she turns her attention to Kurt. “Do you really think that? I mean, this is only the second time we’ve managed to get together since we’ve both been here. New York is a busy place. Everyone has obligations.” Kurt considers this. He’s been busy, but he really does want to see Blaine. “I mean, have you just come out and asked him?”

Kurt frowns. “Not really? We just keep not being able to find a time. If it’s so hard to find time for each other now, what does that say for us being able to have some kind of real relationship?”

“Well,” Rachel says, and Kurt can tell it’s her ‘helpful Rachel’ voice, so he braces himself for whatever is coming. “What have you been doing instead of seeing Blaine?”

Kurt had to think about that. “I had orientation -- but so did he, and then Dad brought the rest of my things, and he was here for about five days and we did a bunch of tourist stuff. And there have been a few informal mixers in the dorm that I wanted to go to since I don’t know anyone -- and did I tell you one of my roommates is gay? Jeremy? He seems to know people here, so I went to a party with him.” Kurt stops. The party had been mostly people their age, but it was a first for him. “Honestly Rachel, I’ve never been in a room with so many other gay men. It was kind of intimidating.”

“But kind of great?” She asks. When Kurt nods she gives him a gentle smile. “There’s a lot to discover in New York, Kurt.”

“Yeah. I guess.” The waitress brings their pancakes and Kurt watches Rachel drown hers in syrup before he indulges himself and does the same. “I was just hoping one of the things I would discover would be Blaine. We had such a good connection. I want to see what that could be.”

“So stop deflecting the issue. Text him a time and place and tell him you’ll meet him there. What about brunch? Ooh! Or karaoke tonight! You said he liked to sing. Maybe he’d want to meet us there?” Kurt had agreed to go out that evening with Rachel to the NYADA student bar for karaoke, but that didn’t really seem like where he wanted to finally reconnect with Blaine.

“Too many people,” he says. “And brunch is always so loud. I want something more intimate.”

“Okay, then coffee, late afternoon on Saturday. Just do it.”

“What if he’s not interested anymore Rach?”

Rachel shrugs. “Then at least you know, right?”

Kurt hates to admit the sense of her suggestion, but he really doesn’t want to wait any longer. He has so many things he wants to tell Blaine. Everything that’s happened and everything he’s done. He wants to hear all about Juilliard and Blaine’s weird but cool sounding living arrangements (because they had at least traded that information. Blaine has a single room in a suite and Kurt would kind of like to see what exactly that means).

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Why wait Kurt? Text him now.”

Kurt silently thanks the universe for putting Rachel in his life, even if she’s a pain in his ass. She knows just when to push. Kurt unlocks his phone, taking a minute to compose a text that doesn’t sound weird.

K: Hey are you free on Saturday afternoon? like 4? K: There’s a great coffee place a couple blocks from here K: Can i buy you a coffee?

When Blaine texts back an emphatic yes!! send me the deets not thirty seconds later, Kurt grins to himself and goes back to his pancakes, ignoring the satisfied smile on Rachel’s face.

They spend the rest of breakfast chatting about Rachel’s courses and the people she’s met at NYADA, and all of the opportunities she’s sure to have ahead of her, and Kurt is happy to let her go on for a while. He can use the break from the inside of his head.

--

Kurt double checks the address before they leave the subway, but the neon sign spelling out Callbacks in glowing red script makes it obvious. He’d invited Jeremy to come with him, as a thanks for inviting him to his friend’s party, as well as the dozen other ways he’d been helpful since Kurt arrived. Apparently he is also a karaoke enthusiast, and the more people who are willing to get up and sing, the more fun the night would be.

Inside the bar is more crowded than Kurt expected.

“It’s Thursday,” Jeremy explains, leaning into Kurt. “New Yorkers always go out on Thursday. Friday and Saturday are for the bridge and tunnel crowds.” Kurt nods, filing this away with all of the other information he’s been gathering. He spies Rachel over in one corner with a few people who must be her NYADA friends, and points her out to Jeremy who returns Rachel’s exuberant wave.

They work their way to the bar to get some non-alcoholic drinks, since the bartenders are very obviously checking IDs, and Jeremy provides a running commentary while they wait on the level of hot guys in the room. Kurt has been very grateful to discover Jeremy could be as vicious as he was about the outfits some people wore.

“Oh my god, that is some suit,” Jeremy points out. “At least he’s got an ass to match it, yum.”

Kurt laughs and turns around to check out the target of Jeremy’s judgment.

At the other end of the bar is a group of sorta loud guys, but they’re singing - not causing trouble, so no one seems to care. One of the guys, with his back to Kurt, is wearing a dark magenta suit - just to the right side of pink, but not pink - with a grey windowpane pattern. It’s not exactly loud, but it sure is eye catching, and a little much for a night out at the bar. After a few seconds of staring Kurt thinks he actually recognizes the suit from a Brooks Brothers catalog from a few seasons ago, which explains why it kinda works. As he looks down the backside of the wearer he has to acknowledge that he does indeed have the ass to pull it off.

Reflexively, Kurt glances away. The urge to look away before he gets into trouble is still something he’s trying to shake, but here in a NYADA karaoke bar, filled with drama students and other performing arts folks in an obviously wide assortment of sexual orientations and identifications, he’s finally safe. So he looks back. It is a nice ass.

So he looks, his eyes trailing from Magenta Suit’s ass all the way up to his shoulders. He’s not a tall guy, but the cut of the suit fits this guy so well that Kurt can easily imagine a narrow waist tapering down from those shoulders. When the guy turns his head and Kurt finally catches a glimpse of his profile, all the noise in the bar turns into a distant echo. It’s Blaine. Blaine.

“You alright honey?” Jeremy asks. He’s got their virgin drinks in hand, one eyebrow raised, and almost a look of concern on his face.

Kurt is having a hard time forming words, and it’s loud in the bar anyway, so he leans in close to Jeremy’s ear. “It’s Blaine.”

“Blaine?” Jeremy’s eyes go wide and dart around the room. “Mr. I’ve-met-the-love-of-my-life-at-a-traveling-carnival-in-Ohio Blaine? Here?”

“Over there, with the great ass!” Kurt whisper shouts. Jeremy stomps his feet, squealing in his excitement for Kurt, but Kurt is already turning back to look at Blaine’s profile. Blaine is laughing now, obviously enjoying hanging out with his friends. They’re singing and jumping around and having fun. Blaine is radiant, and Kurt can’t look away.

Other than a few shared photographs it’s been weeks - months - since they’ve seen each other in person, and Kurt can’t get over how different Blaine looks. With his his hair neatly combed and his perfectly fit suit he looks almost like a different person.

And that’s what Kurt is worried about. What if this impeccably well groomed Blaine wasn’t really interested in small-town Ohio Kurt? Not that Kurt couldn’t hold his own in the style department - he definitely could, but maybe Blaine isn’t interested in bringing his midwestern summer fling from Ohio with him into his new life in New York.

Kurt’s imagination is still tormenting him when, without warning at all, Blaine finally turns his head far enough to see him. Kurt is still so overwhelmed by Blaine’s presence in the bar that he doesn’t notice when Jeremy kisses him on the cheek and wishes him luck, but he does notice Blaine’s face going from confusion to excitement in a second before his expression crumples.

He’s too far away for Kurt to hear him speak, but he can see Blaine mouth Kurt? and move in Kurt’s direction, away from his friends. Kut lets his feet take over, and he pushes through the crowd, toward Blaine.

“Blaine!” Blaine practically leaps at Kurt, and Kurt accepts the hug gratefully, so happy just to be touching him again. When they break apart Kurt looks into Blaine’s eyes, but whatever had upset him a moment ago seems to have gone, and his face is lit up by the same smile that had burrowed into Kurt’s heart over the summer. “You look amazing,” Kurt tells him. “That suit fits you like it was made for you.”

Blaine turns away, his head nodding slightly, and Kurt knows that if he wasn’t already red faced from the heat in the bar Blaine would be blushing.

“Well, I actually had it tailored,” Blaine tells him. “I was inspired by your attitude so I found a good tailor as soon as I got to New York.”

Kurt beams at the idea that Blaine had been thinking of him. “Well it was worth whatever you paid,” he says, and because the moment isn’t awkward enough, he continues, “Special night?” Kurt looks over at the group of boys Blaine was with.

“Oh, um we had a recital, earlier. They’re semi formal so everyone has to turn out in their best.” Blaine fusses with his lapels. “This is the best I brought. Though I’m probably going to need to pick up a couple of other suits. I’m going to stand out pretty badly if I show up in this thing every time.”

Kurt thinks he’d stand out spectacularly, but he keeps it to himself. “Oooh, fancy clothes shopping. Sounds fun.”

Blaine’s face brightens a bit. “Maybe you want to come with me? I mean, you’ve got a great eye. If you’re not too busy.” Blaine’s eyes dart over Kurt’s shoulder, and he goes on before Kurt can respond. “Is that Rachel?”

“Yes!” Kurt is grateful for the redirection. “Come say hi. You can meet my roommate too. He’s a pip.”

Blaine follows Kurt to the back table where Rachel is sitting with a few of her NYADA friends, and Jeremy. Kurt hasn’t met any of Rachel’s friends yet, but Jeremy is already ensconced in the middle with an arm around one of them like they’ve known each other since birth.

“Blaine! What are you doing here?” Rachel practically knocks their little table over as she leaps out of her chair and hurls herself at Blaine. “Did you know we were coming? Kurt did you tell Blaine we were coming tonight? Do you sing Blaine? Kurt I remember you told me Blaine sung. Sang. Sings?” She screws her face up in a confused scrunch. “Is a singer.” If Kurt didn’t know better he’d think Rachel is drunk.

“Uh, hi Rachel,” Blaine looks a little stunned, but manages to hug Rachel and keep her from falling down when she looks like she’s teetering.

Kurt tugs her arm, pulling her to the side. “Rachel are you drunk?”

“I might have had some of Leo’s cosmo.” She looks up at him, eyes huge. “And by some I mean I may have drunk the whole thing.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. He doesn’t care if Rachel is having a drink -- so long as she doesn’t get them thrown out -- but she can be a handful to keep track of when she’s tipsy. “Well why don’t you introduce me and Blaine to Leo and the rest of your friends?”

“Great idea!” Rachel giggles and slips an arm through Blaine’s elbow, turning him toward the table. She introduces all of her friends, then says “and the adorably terrible flirt in the middle is Kurt’s roommate, Jeremy.” Jeremy wiggles his fingers in their direction, winking. “Everyone - this is Kurt, my very best friend from high school. And this is his Blaine.”

Kurt stammers. Leave it to Rachel to completely humiliate him.

“I don’t — I don’t know if that’s entirely accurate,” Blaine says, next to him. Kurt turns to look at Blaine, but he’s staring at Jeremy. “I should leave you guys to hang out, and I should get back to my friends,” Blaine adds. “I’ll catch up with you later, Kurt.”

“Oh,” Kurt is sure he’s missing something, but it’s too loud and there are too many people in the room for him to figure out what it is. “You could all join us, if you want? I’m sure we could cram some more chairs in,” he says to Blaine.

“No that’s okay,” Blaine says. He gives Kurt a quick squeeze on his arm and with a wave at everyone goes back to his group.

“Kuuurt!” Rachel pulls him down on the seat next to her. “Blaine is here, isn’t that so amazing!”

“Oh my god Rachel you are such a lightweight,” he answers. “He’s here with his friends.”

Kurt is trying not to read too much into it. Blaine had seemed happy to see him at first, but he was so reluctant to hang out with them. Maybe he felt obliged to spend the time with the friends he came to the bar with. Kurt turns to see where Blaine is now, and finds him smiling and joking with his friends just as he’d been doing earlier. If anything, they whole group of them had got noticeably more physical with each other.

“Is it time to sing?” Kurt turns to see Rachel tugging on his elbow. “Kurt do you want to sing with me?”

“No, you go ahead,” he tells her. When Rachel pouts at him he adds, “Maybe later, after I soak up some alcohol fumes.” Kurt turns her around and gives her a little push toward the stage.

Kurt settles in and watches as Rachel completely captivates everyone in the room with her karaoke version of “Don’t Rain On My Parade.” It’s a Broadway friendly bar, so everyone is into it and Rachel is really on, stolen drinks be damned. Kurt hangs out with her friends, and one of them buys him a drink and slyly slips it in his direction, and Kurt is grateful. He doesn’t want to get drunk at all, but he’s not opposed to something to help him relax.

As the night goes on, people take their turn at the mic, some good, some bad, some drunk, but Kurt can’t help but glancing in Blaine’s direction all night. He’s usually talking to someone else, but every few glances, Blaine is looking at him too.

At some point in the evening Kurt gets up to use the mens room. It’s weirdly crowded, and by the time he gets back to the bar area there’s a group of guys on stage singing. It takes him a minute to catch up with the words and the music, and when he does he realizes it’s Blaine and his friends.

Before you met me I was alright But things were kinda heavy

They are singing Katy Perry. And they are choreographed. If he didn’t already have a devastating crush on this boy this would have put him over the edge. They are singing along to the karaoke track, but Kurt can almost picture them in a coordinated acapella arrangement. There is no way they didn’t rehearse this.

Kurt can’t take his eyes off of Blaine. He’s charming and charismatic and oh so much more talented than Kurt imagined. When by some miracle Blaine finds Kurt in the crowd, he locks eyes on him for the rest of the song.

My, heart, stops When you look at me Just, one, touch Now baby I believe This, is, real So take a chance And don't ever look back Don't ever look back

At some point Rachel appears at his elbow, giving him a squeeze as she jumps up and down.

“He’s so good!” She squeals. “And I think he's singing to you Kurt,” she whisper-shouts in his ear.

By the time the song is over Kurt doesn’t think, he knows. He untangles himself from Rachel and heads to where he can see a couple of Blaine’s taller friends in the crowd. But when he gets there he doesn’t see Blaine with them. He waits for a minute, but Blaine doesn’t appear anywhere. He’s about to head back to Rachel when one of the boys approaches him.

“Kurt?” The boy sticks his hand out politely to shake. “I’m David. If you’re looking for Blaine he went outside to get some air.” He pulls at his shirt and frowns, giving the universal sign of “too sweaty,” and Kurt nods and heads toward the exit.

Kurt hadn’t thought it was too warm inside, but once outside Kurt is relieved to be in the cooler air. He spies a group of people hanging around smoking, and the usual New York foot traffic walking around, but initially sees no sign of Blaine. Kurt takes a walk to the corner with no luck, and worries that Blaine might have just left without saying anything to him, after obviously singing to him. He stops for a moment, staring into the New York night - the whole night has been weird. He just wants to go back to his dorm and get some sleep.

“Kurt?” Kurt spins around and finds Blaine standing ten feet away. He looks hot and a little sweaty. He looks lovely.

“I was looking for you.” Kurt takes a step closer, then leads Blaine around the corner where there are less people.

“Jeremy’s cute,” Blaine says when they stop.

“What?”

“Jeremy. He’s cute.”

“Again, I say what?”

Blaine huffs a little, crossing his arms across his chest. “Congrats. Hot gay roommate.”

“Oh my god. Is that why you’ve been so weird?” Kurt is genuinely taken aback. “Jeremy is my room. mate. Roommate. That’s all.” Kurt retaliates with his own crossed arms. “I thought you were avoiding me.”

Blaine’s eyes go wide, and Kurt has to lean back to keep from falling into them. “I thought you were avoiding me, Kurt.”

It doesn’t take long for either of them to drop their defenses.

“I’m not. Avoiding you, I mean. I want to see you,” Kurt says. “Moving has been a lot -- a lot of things.” Blaine nods in what looks like agreement. “Did you sing that song to me?” Kurt asks. Blaine nods again, only he’s not looking at Kurt, and Kurt can’t really take how awkward it is. “Blaine,” he says, stepping forward. “How did you know I would be here?”

“I didn’t.” Blaine finally looks at him. “my roommates used to do it for their show choir, and when I was trying to think of ways to, I don’t know, impress you, one of them suggested a song, and they taught me oomf -” Kurt stops him with a kiss. When Blaine finally relaxes into it, yeah okay, Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine’s neck, walking him back to the wall of the building. As far as Kurt’s concerned, they can stay out here until the morning.

“Blaine!” Kurt doesn’t recognize that voice.

“Kurt!” That one is Rachel.

They separate slightly, but Kurt doesn’t really want to get that far away. “Hey Wes,” Blaine says, but his arms are tight around Kurt’s waist.

“I guess you finally worked it out,” Wes says.

“Thank god,” Rachel says. “I thought Kurt was going to combust.”

“Yeah we’re good, if that’s all you need,” Kurt waves Rachel off. Blaine leans in to kiss his neck, and Rachel giggles. “You can be on your way. Tell Jeremy I’ll get myself home.”

“You could come home with me,” Blaine murmurs so only Kurt can hear. “I’ve got my own room. With a door and everything.”

“I have class at ten Blaine.” Kurt is tempted anyway.

“You’ve been in New York almost a month. It’s past time for your first walk of shame.” Blaine waves at Wes and Rachel as they walk back into the bar. “We don’t have to do anything.”

“Blaine Anderson, if you think I am going to spend an entire night in your bed and not touch you in sexy ways, you are very mistaken.”

“Okay that’s cool too,” Blaine says, feigning nonchalance. Then he smiles. “So yes?”

Kurt laughs and kisses Blaine again. “Yes.”

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 11: Discharge Plan

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: The highs of Shane and Sy’s first weekend as a couple are followed up by some big news from Sy, leading to our couple’s first fight.

Don’t miss a session! Click here to catch up on this story or explore my other works!

Word Count: 2.7

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, smut, sort of unprotected sex, rough-ish sex, angst, alcohol consumption,

Author’s Note: First off, I wanna talk about the word “victuals.” I’ve loved this word for a long time, even though it makes no sense, phonetically as it actually rhymes with the “fiddles” or “riddles.”(It’s true, look it up!) It’s very pastoral and somewhat archaic, so you don’t hear it too much anymore in current writing about the present, but I just felt like Sy would say it. Secondly, it was really hard for me to put my darlings through the argument in this chapter. I want them to have only happy times…but that provides no tension or motivation for story development…and I want to keep writing them more than I want them to be happy… I guess I finally understand why authors torture their characters! Lol! It might take a bit of time for me to sort out what their relationship looks like adding the distance factor, but I have some ideas that might work. Also, it might be an opportunity to do a bit more of Sy’s perspective, which I thoroughly enjoy, and may go back and fill in some blanks for him in between chapters I’ve already done. I hope you all enjoy this installment of the Treatment of Captain Syverson! Feedback in any form is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@

The rest of the weekend was spent in blissful relaxation. Sy went to his place to feed Aika and bring her over at Shane's insistence. The dog had been slightly standoffish with her, but Sy assured her that it was in her nature to be aloof, and that she needed to be engaged or instructed to behave more doglike.

"It's her training. She's still a soldier. It's hard for us to shake those habits. Like me calling you 'ma'am' at first."

"She's another die hard. I respect that." she chuckled, scratching Aika behind her perked ears, and eliciting pants of contentment from her.

Sy's skills with a spatula were unmatched. That was to say, he made the best pancakes she'd ever had. They almost didn't need syrup…almost. They ordered an obscene amount of Chinese takeout which lasted them about three meals each. Sunday evening, though, which had a gloom to it no matter the circumstances, required some comfort food. They agreed on pasta, so Shane made up some of her famous alfredo sauce and probably twice the recommended portion of pasta for two humans to consume. There were no leftovers. Sy had three helpings, himself. Three heaping bowls of it. Shane couldn't handle more than one and a half servings, even though she wanted to gorge herself. She knew too much would make her ill.

When they weren't eating, the were cuddling on the couch, or in Shane's bed. They watched more Parks and Rec, and a few other films and shows that Sy requested, just to break things up. Their bodies were constantly wrapped in each other, leading to frequent bouts of making out, fooling around, and sex in almost every room of the house.

Her favorite had been the shower. She insisted on getting cleaned up, but Sy had objections.

~~~~~~~~

"I'll be less than ten minutes, come on, I reek! You can't wanna kiss me when I smell like this!" she said, trying to shut the bathroom door on the human mack truck before her. Broad and formidable.

"You smell like sex, and…me, darlin. I've never wanted to kiss you more," he said, backing her up toward the shower doors. "but I guess if you must. Lemme help, though." he pulled open the glass door, forcing her into his captivating kiss, and maneuvering her backward into the walk-in, stone tile shower. He pulled off her tank top, capturing her breasts in his hands and mouth for a moment before kneeling to remove her shorts and kiss her thighs. He pulled himself away too quickly and started the water flowing.

"Sy, you're fully dressed!" he was barefoot, but otherwise, in jeans and her favorite of his tees. The letters DILLIGAF across a skull, black on red. She always laughed on the inside when she saw it. Because although Sy often had to put on a calloused and brusque act when he'd been an officer in the Army, he was terribly soft and sweet when the occasion called for it. The irony being that although he didn't look like he gave a fuck, he actually did.

"I've got more clothes in the truck and you've got a dryer." he maneuvered her under the pulsing stream of the showerhead. "Gotta get you wet." he let the water run through her hair as he reached for her shampoo, a coconutty concoction that reminded her of summer, squeezed a bit into his hand, and lathered it up. He worked the suds into her wet hair gently, raking his nails across her scalp in a way that excited and ignited every atom in her. She sighed at his touch which made him groan with need.

He tilted her head back to rinse the lather out and reached for the conditioner. He was a bit more generous with it than strictly necessary, but she didn't protest. He pulled her hair forward in two sections, one over each shoulder and worked the emollient into the strands. His hands slick from the product, he ran them over her breasts and her abdomen and hips…between her legs. There her own arousal was primed to combine with the tropical unction. She gasped as he worked his fingers over her, slow at first, but speeding up, only to slow again. When she finally whimpered in frustration, he undid his jeans, and backed her up to the stony grey wall, not giving a fuck, as his shirt had suggested, that he and his clothes were getting soaked. His only care now apparently, was to satisfy the simpering cries of "yes, please." from Shane.

His first few thrusts were slow and measured, knowing that she was still adjusting to his size. But it didn't take long for him to lose control. She wasn't sure what was making him like this, but she was not complaining in the least. The texture of his jeans on her bare, wet thighs was a sensation she wouldn't soon forget. She gripped at him, holding onto his shirt for dear life as her climax built to impossible heights.

She was loving the way he lost himself in the ferocity of the act. And his release led to hers immediately. She wrapped herself around him in blissful embrace, and whispered his name as a prayer.

"Sorry, darlin,' I meant to…"

"It's okay. I'm on the pill and I'm not at a particularly dangerous time in my cycle."

He kissed her tenderly and reached for her bath puff and some body wash. "Well, let’s get ya cleaned up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only good part about Monday was that she'd be treating him. Although, he was scheduled in the afternoon. Her morning would drag on eternal.

He greeted her with a typical "hey, susnshine" and she led him into the gym, feeling his gaze on her ass, wanting, even though they'd just left each other quite satisfied that morning. He was freshly showered, beard well groomed, and his hair growing back in very nicely. He'd asked her weeks ago whether he should keep the buzzed look or not, and she had been entirely for growing it out. She wanted something to run her hands through. She'd be fine if it was at least shoulder length, but she wouldn't push that on him.

They did their normal warm up on the bikes, followed by some plyometric drills, which made him scowl at her in a way that lit her up like a firecracker. But the fact that he was able to jump up onto the box was encouraging. He couldn't have done that a month ago. He was progressing so well and was so close to his long term goals and discharge. It almost made Shane sad. It wasn't as though they wouldn't see each other, but having him break up the insanity of her day three times a week for just an hour was invaluable.

As they were doing their usual end of the session stretch in her treatment room, and she noted the improved range of motion he was getting, he broke the amiable silence with a question.

"Hey, can I bring a pizza or somethin' over for dinner tonight after you get off?"

"Sure!" she could tell there was something he wanted to say, but was holding back. She prodded. "Everything okay? You've been a bit…off today."

"I'm good. Just a little distracted." he deflected by touching her hip, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. She swatted him away.

"Not here, Sy."

"But that makes it fun!" he pouted.

"No, that really could get me fired! Getting frisky on company time!"

"Mmmm, I'd love to frisk you right now." he reached between their legs to try and grab her again, but she thwarted him and pinned his wrists at his ears.

"Cool it, cowboy, or your last two sessions are gonna make you wish you'd never met me." she threatened.

"Ain't nothin', nothin' on God's good green earth could make me wish that, sunshine." His stunning blue eyes softened her resolve and she let go, continuing to stretch him.

"Still…cool it." she grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She'd just had time to change into some comfy clothes, wash her face, and put her hair up when her doorbell rang.

Sy stood smiling under the porch light, a modern white knight, carrying a large pizza from Pizza Hut and a six pack of Miller High Life.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes! And it's nice to see you too, Sy!" she laughed, teasing him.

"Should I leave the victuals and go?" he asked, mock concern on his sarcastic brow.

"Get in here, soldier."

She got out napkins and paper plates because as horrible as it sounded, she just couldn't think about doing dishes tonight. She was even glad Sy had brought drinks in disposable or recyclable containers, and not wine, which she tended to prefer. She was exhausted, but not upset, which made the silence they ate in bearable. Sy still seemed to have something on his mind, though.

"Did you have something you wanted to talk about tonight, Sy?"

"Kinda, yeah, uh…it's kind of a big thing for me, and I know this is new, what we have, but…well, I'll just tell ya."

"Go on." she encouraged, worried.

"I…I talked to my old CO about jobs in the private sector. He referred me to a company that…well it's sort of an employment agency for vets. Mostly security for private companies and individuals. I had a phone interview with them this past Tuesday. I just got a call this morning that they want to meet me in person to finalize everything. Mostly a formality. When I go for that, I'll also have to stay there a couple of weeks to a month for training."

"Where is this…gig?" She said, flat affect hiding the feelings brewing under her skin.

"The offices are in Charlottesville…Virginia. And there may be some cross country training there in Shenandoah National Park."

"Cross country…by that do you mean survival training?" She was still cool, but getting more livid.

"You could call it that, I guess. But it won't be a challenge for me. I'm more worried about the technical stuff." His bravado and flippancy about the whole endeavor was enraging her. The thought that he'd be in the wilderness alone, was only a fraction of the big picture. He was going away for a month? And he had known about the job for a week now. A week in which so much about their relationship had changed, and shifted. How could he think she'd just accept this without a bit of raging.

"You waited until after we slept together to tell me this. You did it on purpose, Sy." that was the biggest problem, she thought. The fact that he seemed to be hiding it from her. It brought back old trauma that she thought he'd never have subjected her to.

"Yes and no, Shane. I wasn't intentionally keeping anything from you, I just didn't wanna bring it up until somebody bit."

"You wanted to keep me in the dark about something you were excited about? How do you think that makes me feel?"

"I didn't wanna get your hopes up or mine. Honestly."

"Saying 'honestly' doesn't make it honest, Sy. I've told you about everything that Elliott put me through. The lies. The secrets. This puts a bad taste in my mouth. You have to see that. Can't you?"

"Oh, sunshine, I--"

"No, please. Do not do that right now. Don't call me sunshine when all I can see is the night."

"I'm so sorry. My intention was not to make you feel in any way like that asshole ever did. Please hear me when I say that. I want to be the opposite of him in your mind in every way, darlin.' Please believe that."

There was so much sincerity in his voice, now nearing tearfulness that she felt he must be telling her the truth. She nodded. But was still apprehensive about the nature of the job and the training.

"But…what if you get hurt again?"

"I won't. You've all but fixed me, Shane. I'm stronger than ever."

"Can't you just…find a safe job? Here?" She was being selfish. She couldn't help it. Even though she knew she might regret it.

"Sit at a desk, ya mean? Deliver pizzas?" he indicated the box between them on the table. "Call people and ask them if they're happy with their cable services, Shane? Is that all I'm good for now?" he was angry.

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, of course not. You're a PT. That's what you were meant to do, right? Well, imagine if you couldn't do that no more. Something or another, an injury, perhaps, or just plain ol' shitty situation, left you in a position where you couldn't go back. Couldn't do your dream job. Couldn't fulfill your purpose." he spat. "Wouldn't you do anything you could to be some shadow of what you were meant to be?"

She couldn't speak. Because he was right in so many ways.

"Because right now, I'm nothin'. I'm not doin' anyone any good. I'm a drain on my country, the one I swore to protect with my very life. It's like I've broken an oath. And it's fractured my soul."

"I see that. I truly do. But I need you here. You do ME good, Sy. I'm already half dreading d/c'ing you. I don't wanna have to say a goodbye, too." it was her truth. But it hit him very much sideways.

"So…what is it, Shane? You only want me when I'm broken? You only want me so you can fix me?"

"No, of course not! That's not what--"

"Am I a charity case to ya now? Is that why ya finally gave in and let me in your bed?"

"Sy, no!" she was crying now. It had hurt so much to think that he could have gotten that from what she'd said.

"I think if you can have feelings hurt about this situation then so can I."

He stood to leave, but she caught him by the wrist.

"Shane…you know I would never, ever harm you. But please… don't test my limits. Let… go." She did.

She was still quite a bit faster than him, so she ran ahead and blocked the door.

"Move." he insisted. She didn't.

"Hear me out, and then I'll let you go."

He crossed his arms and nodded, his gaze still one of cold steel.

"Sy, I didn't mean to make this job that you're clearly excited for into a source of anguish or to make it about me. I'm thrilled that you're going to get to do something you want in another field. I really am. I just…being with you has made me realize how good life can really be. And even if you'd told me before we slept together, I would have said the same thing. It was selfish of me to haul my baggage into the conversation when you aren't, have never been, and could never be Elliot. His best couldn't compare with your worst. And I will do my best in the future to think about who you are before I complain about the work you find to do."

"It's like I said about Aika before. She's a soldier. Hard trained. And so am I. It took a lot of hard work for me to get where I am, so much that it fundamentally altered who I am as a person. Now, in my opinion, those changes were for the better. I was kind of a shit before I became a soldier, thought the sun rose and set with me. I got some perspective and met some good people…lost some, too. Saw some shit I can't unsee. Some of it haunts me to this day, and I figure it always will. But I reckon if I can keep fighting the fight somehow. Keep protecting people in whatever way I can, my training and experience won't be a total waste."

"I understand and respect that, Sy. And I will back you in any way I can. I'll water your plants, I'll keep Aika whenever you're gone, I'm here for you."

"Oh, shit! I wasn't even thinking about having to leave my dog behind! Maybe this WON'T work!" he chuckled.

"Second fiddle to another woman already. I knew you were gonna break my heart, Captain Logan Syverson."

"Never intentionally, sunshine." he hugged her, tight, and with his whole body. Their argument in the past and their future an exciting mystery. Shane had never felt so safe and loved.

Up Next: Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

[patatinolovenotes]

love notes Part #5

[2/14/18, 00:23:48] YL: Happy valentines [2/14/18, 00:34:19] Captain P.: Are you awake?? [2/14/18, 00:34:21] Captain P.: Amore? [2/14/18, 00:34:30] Captain P.: I have something for you actually [2/14/18, 00:34:35] Captain P.: Less sexy though [2/14/18, 04:04:41] Captain P.: Dear Goldenmouth, I do not believe in Valentine's day, however I won’t loose such a juicy occasion to renovate my message of love for you. Today I want through all our love notes from the last you posted on tumblr and I extrapolated them and put all of them till tonight in a word document that I just sent you via email. I hope you’ll appreciate this small gift as a valuable gift. Nevertheless, this exercise was very interesting for me. I finally got the chance to read again many of our stories and live again all our relationship’s daily routine  in all it’s crazy spheres and facades. I am so in love with you and I will always be willing to take care of you. Your gentle spirit and generous hart sweetly nurture my soul every day. You are an angel that came to my life to use me for the better. I can perceive how we both grew during last year and how you amplify my power how you simply make me a better person. With all that in mind, I want you to know that beside my passion and everything that matters the most is the affection I hold for your person. I want you to know you will always find a secure allay in me no matter the distance or the problems the future  might reserve us. I wish only for a shared life ahead us. Un bacio grande tesoro bio, you are the most beautiful being on this planet. I am honoured I have the chance to spend time with you. Buona notte patata mia <3. Always yours, Captain P.. [2/14/18, 09:16:55] YL: Mornig love [2/14/18, 09:17:05] YL: I love the valentines message can you send me one everyday [2/14/18, 09:17:08] YL: ❤️❤️ [2/14/18, 11:59:49] Captain P.: Morning amore [2/14/18, 16:18:10] YL: Baby [2/14/18, 16:18:24] YL: I'm the only one with no flowers on the table [2/15/18, 03:06:30] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, i know sometimes is hard to see the light in the end of the tunnel, and also nothing seams to lead where you thought it would, however you shouldn’t be so severe with your self. I know you’ll find the right path to get where you want because of your acume, open mind and bug heart. I am not here to tell you where to go. I am standing by your side just to make your journey happier, funnier and full of love. I want you to take all these decisions in harmony and with a smile on your face. I would love to hug you right now. I would love to have you next to me tonight and sleep spoon mode with you. Amore you are my little thing that I will never stop thinking of. If there is something in this work I can’t stand is your sadness. Above all, what really matters in life is that what you do makes you perceive spreading some love. Don’t ever fall in any vicious promise of other happiness. The real one has love and passion as drivers. If you love development go for it, if you love real estate finance go for it. If one requires the other than practice one and study the other. I know you know better than me the right paradigm. Anyway I love you so much and I want to always be able to take care of you. I am sure the universe has some interesting plan for us, hopefully this plans will also always be joint. Sleep tight and rock tomorrow, focus and learn. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, ❤🐒🐽 [2/15/18, 03:07:01] Captain P.: Ps: I stopped at a bar because of a birthday while coming back after I called you!!! [2/15/18, 03:07:06] Captain P.: 🐽🐽🐽🐽 [2/15/18, 03:08:53] Captain P.: Jeez there are to many spelling mistakes that changes the meaning I just realised!  Not work* but world [2/15/18, 09:04:15] YL: ❤️❤️ [2/15/18, 09:04:21] YL: I miss you pat [2/15/18, 09:04:28] YL: I thought I was going to die yesterday [2/15/18, 09:04:49] YL: Tam told me this story that a guy die after his shoulder was hurting and turns out to be an heart attack [2/15/18, 09:05:04] YL: And he died while resting on the chair in the clinic [2/15/18, 09:05:07] YL: 😱😱😱 [2/15/18, 10:30:53] Captain P.: Babe you are 20 [2/15/18, 10:31:06] Captain P.: You can’t have heart attack ok? [2/15/18, 10:31:19] Captain P.: Morning pat [2/15/18, 10:31:51] YL: Hahahaha [2/15/18, 11:08:04] YL: Baby 😂😂😂 [2/15/18, 11:08:09] Captain P.: Babe... [2/15/18, 11:08:09] YL: You ordered the flower [2/15/18, 11:08:13] Captain P.: I made a mistake [2/15/18, 11:08:15] YL: But it's delivering tomorrow [2/15/18, 11:08:17] YL: 😂😂😂 [2/15/18, 11:08:18] Captain P.: Dio cane [2/15/18, 11:08:20] YL: Honey [2/15/18, 11:08:21] Captain P.: Fan culo [2/15/18, 11:08:25] YL: I'll give them a call ... [2/15/18, 11:09:09] Captain P.: Why did they notify you? [2/15/18, 11:09:14] YL: Email [2/16/18, 02:47:08] Captain P.: Dear love, tonight more than ever I want to sneak in your bed without you to know. I miss you and I want to touch your silky hairs. I want you here, next to me, now. Not tomorrow. Now. It is this impossibility of being able to come and know on your door whenever I want that I hate. I will ask the universe to help me get closer to you soon. It’s a new year today and it’s your year pat since you love dogs so much I’m pretty sure this one will be gentle to you. Happy new year my love. May you be smiling for the entire year and always happy with your soul. Ti bacio tanto patatozzza mia! Sleep tight and come please to visit me in my dreams. 🐽🐒❤ [2/17/18, 04:50:48] Captain P.: Dear love, tonight I want to explain you again how beautiful you are because to me you are, as a marvellous humane, a magical figure that enriches my days. No matter what, I will always feel this confidentiality, passion and, of course sex appeal with you. I see a day where we celebrate all New Years together eating and laughing. However, tonight what I really miss is going out partying with you. I remember this summer a La profumiere with wenny and matteo. I enjoyed the techno in Taipei and I would love to be back there some other time With you. I’m trying to get some sleep on this late night bus to Frankfurt and I’ll immerge my self in us. Un bacione amore mio, buona notte sputnik !!! 🐽❤🐒 [2/17/18, 23:37:21] Captain P.: Potato i promess tomorrow we read Pinocchio [2/17/18, 23:37:44] Captain P.: I want to screw you all amore [2/18/18, 02:27:56] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, distance is a choice and many times is hard to see why it’s so worthy. If I think about it kills my day, instead when I think of you and when I picture in my mind our future together nothing is impossible. No matter how many girls are out there no matter how many boys will flirt with you. This is also part of our relationship, being able to know that this choice is made everyday by the both of us dreaming for something together. I will do all I can to be sure our roads won’t ever take different paths. I want to you to stay by my side forever. Tomorrow we will have our bednight stories and I would love to spend some time with you on Skype just chatting as usual. I really believe soon enough we will be living together. I honestly think this is the most important thing and in life sometimes a choice driven by the heart either than the mind leads to the best. We have this one opportunity to stay together, it is now more than a year and it’s always a pleasure to think of you. I will always love my pat, ❤🐒🐽 I had a great dinner with brother and one day I will take you to this amazing restaurant as well. Can’t wait to be again with you. If I only could I would come Over every weekend in Dubai to see your beautiful face. Sleep tight!! Buona notte amore mio. My principessa [2/18/18, 03:23:10] Captain P.: And lastely im thinking that you are my soul mate, it’s not only a matter of passion but also of sharing the good and the bad. Sharing the load together with our intimacy and finding something more. [2/19/18, 02:17:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m feeling homesick. I feel like I could die because my other half is not here with me. I think since Christmas my love became bigger, if this is even possible. I miss you ever since more and I never have enough.. I’m always willing to get tickets and visit you! Anyway, beside that.. tonight I want to write a bit more properly than usual..even if what I really miss is your giraffe neck, the sexiest neck I’ve ever seen in my life.. I know my love has more to say than the animalistic response. I was thinking about all your life and how it could go depending on what’s next on your agenda. I’m super excited for you because you are at an another turning point. Stay? Change? Where to? Someone would argue that this moving and changing is a bit wobbly, yet I think it’s a way of learning how to revert paradigm, reinventing it all the time. Because a paradigm is so intrinsic to our mental process that we are hardly aware of its existence, until you try to communicate with someone with a different paradigm. I believe this training of yours, imposed by today’s circumstances, will make you a paradigm inventor by getting the knowledge to put all the puzzle together. Might not be that this puzzle will answer to all your happiness or desires, but it will for sure get you where you want. Im just saying that I believe in you and I know you will find your perfect balance. You’ll be able to question the objectivity, that hidden and unspoken reality which is the key, the truth. Don’t think your lost cause happiness is a complex flow and only in a chaotic cosmos you’ll find your pattern. Something I understood, for instance is the value of knowing that there is someone in this world, that no matter what will always look at you with those shiny eye fool of hope and amusement. To keep this eyes wet and full of sparks one must see beyond the nature of the bodies, deeper than things perceivable by the senses and find a path of passion which I might call Love, for tonight. I want to keep on looking at you like this for the rest of my life!! I felt in love with you for you ability to talk to me differently by opening a new world into my heart. You managed to show me some unknowable ceilings of expression. Let’s never stop teaching each other new perspective of love: I learnt so much with you goldenmouth. With your soul and way of communicating you built in me the paradigm of a bond which doesn’t know what convenience, circumstances or boredom are. We became what we became: best friends? Soul mates? Sex buddies or admirers? I feel we became an indivisible duo. Open relationship or not I would like to keep exploring everything together in this world..by being an incredible miracle of compromise, trust and efforts to take the best out of the other for the sake of a common vision. In the name of a dream which if only whispered could be blown. With all that in mind I think I will never get used to the pain of distance, however what I know firmly and fiery is that you’ll always have a person to count on, and that person even in 20 Years will be me. Buona notte principessa mia, I send you all of my love and I hope tomorrow you wake up like a rose in spite of the hungover which will make you read this love note very dizzy. Un bacio grande tesoro mio❤🐒🐽 [2/20/18, 04:26:48] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I truly miss you and I want to touch your hairs to smell your skin and to spend all my time with you. Even looking at you watching tv series makes me happy. You are my sun shine even  in these days of boring doubting. When everything seems meaningless you light up my fire. Un bacione principessa mia, sleep tight and come visit me in my dreams. I couldn’t sleep till now.. and they say if you can’t sleep you’re usually in someone’s dream. I like to think I am now in yours taking you around one of our incredible adventures. Buona notte tesoro❤🐒🐽 [2/20/18, 08:04:29] YL: 💕💕💕 [2/21/18, 05:13:28] Captain P.: Dear my potatoz, camelpardhead, and goldenmouth: with you i want to travel the world, build a house of love and pass on some of our genes to new creatures that will need to much love to become, one day, life lovers them selfs. In other words I feel I found the fish in the ocean with whom I want to swim in the strong currents. No matter if it will be a cold or a hot current cause with you I can only feel warm and comfortable. I see us limitless. There is nothing that can stop us when we are together. I miss you and your legs so much, I miss your small tiny princess hands and you whispering close to my ears. Let’s never grow apart, let’s just keep on growing together and I’m sure the universe is preparing for us a roof under which we will finally be able look at the same moon and starts every night, hand in hand. Buona notte amore mio, un bacio alla mia principessa rap❤🐒🐽 [2/22/18, 04:18:39] Captain P.: Dear my patata, love it’s so crazy and beautiful. Sometimes i stop and I try to understand what are small gestures that makes me understand how madly in love I can be with you. For instance when I read Pinocchio to you, even if you don’t understand the language, I try to be as expressive as I can, as precise as I can. I wouldn’t read with such an intonation not even for my self. The thing is that I dindt realise it till matteo told me he was enjoying him self to listen to it even if he still thinks we are weird. I can read for you for ages my potato. Unluckily tonight the connection let us down. Anyways I would give at least a week or two of my life if I could have you here tonight, for just one night to sleep in the same bed, to share the same roof. I want my life to be driven by love and not by anything else. The number one thing is to be close to our love otherwise everything else is not complete, colors are faded.  Sleep tight and come into my dreams you beautiful principessa rap🐽🐒❤ I want to dream of a coez concert under the rain in the hot summer with you . Un bacio grande mio tesoro, buona notte [2/23/18, 04:01:06] Captain P.: My love note was written a while ago because I was too tired from the day and...

Amore mio, I hope you are all safe and sound home becuase I didn’t see anything on my card!! Are you safe sleeping? Ti bacio tanto amore mio, how I wish, how I wish I could see you now and be there to make sure all bones are in the right place and no scratch on my patata. One day we will be living together, I know this for sure, no matter how hard is now to see that future but I’m firmly convinced we are meant to be, we are not just one love as many meant to burn fast. My love for you is not just a spark, is a steady and warm fire which will burn in eternity. Sleep well golden mouth. You ora the princess of my life, your hairs are silk and your hands are so beautiful that I would like a sculpture always to have with me. Oh.. and.. how much I miss your skin and it’s smell. I hope you had fun tonight and that the pasta is also very good. I only always wish for the best for you in all the spheres of this existence. If you’re happy I’m happy. The rotten tomato here sends you all his love. [2/23/18, 04:42:30] YL: Buona notte amore 💕 [2/23/18, 04:44:26] YL: I can't wait to see you very very soon, only could I count the days to be faster until then 2/24/18, 02:13:25] Captain P.: My one and only love Yu-fei, I never call you with this name and I think by time to time is something that must be done to remember your roots, the roots of love through which complexity you landed into my arms. You know how sometimes I like to think deeply about love because in the end is the real only law, and the most powerful one existing in the world of sentient beings. It’s a while now that I wonder how we really met, how we end up together and how are we still staying together against all the odds.. obstacles.. kilometres. I end up realising that there is one main driver to start a love story: causality. If we think as causality as simple linear mechanics.. well.. you were flatmate with an old acquaintance of mine, alias Daniel. Than, we can think of causality as weakly related statistics.. so.. basically the possibilities that we liked each other..and the possibilities of us seeing each other enough times to have sex (holy shit it took a damn year). At this stage, please bear with me, we are at the beginning of what I would call a honeymoon phase. In order to translate all of this universal mix of casualties there is the need to understand the unspoken reality of complexity. In other words.. you can have an almost infinite number of compatible beings on this planet to have sex with, live a life and give birth to something which will ensure the human specie survival. Nevertheless, it is in the complexity of multiple interaction of this casualties that a rare real love as ours (I like to think so) is hidden. I think we finished the honeymoon phase quite a while ago and our complexity is staying strong after an enormous number of casualties working against it.. to name few: we live in different cities, we speak different languages, we are both young and full of casual opportunities in all directions. I’m not sure I managed to explain well what I have in mind but it is simply that: I love you. And when I say so behind this tiny words there is a world of complex feelings always interacting with them selfs. We don’t play by the rules of causality, we chose each other because we like the reality we create together no matter the surrounding environment. No matter how hard and painful is waiting but give us just one drop of our love and everything is solved, saved and happy. I hope I also didn’t overheat or just confused your mind.. and please do tell me if any of these ideas makes sense to you given you are my beautiful mirror. I want to keep on raising our glasses to the good and the evil together. I would love also to read to you this love note in 20 Years and hug you gently while giving it to you from behind in an sunny, chilly autumn day. Buona notte principessa rap, never stop surprising me with your beautiful soul and generous heart. Always yours, ❤🐒🐽 [2/24/18, 02:13:54] Captain P.: I’m gonna week up early tomorrow because if sunny I’ll go skiing [2/24/18, 02:14:20] Captain P.: Stay safe and have fun my principessa rap [2/24/18, 04:51:42] YL: Thank you for always letting me be myself, for the worst and best. You give me the space and courage to find my way and shine, and this is why I will always choose you in any circumstances. We have our true love and I wish it will always be there. Like you said, we play against the rule of causality, and our love is a living statement that true love exists and I wish we will have our forever after in this enternity and the rest. 💕 [2/24/18, 04:51:55] YL: Buona notte mio principe [2/24/18, 10:43:26] Captain P.: Buongiorno potatohead of my life!! How did the party go you funky slayer? I’m driving to the mountains with some windy cold weather, however is quite sunny [2/24/18, 11:12:48] Captain P.: Ps: you sexy in the picture! This time in Dubai we are going out because I want to see you like that [2/25/18, 02:05:48] Captain P.: Dear love, I’m counting every minute that separates us. I would like to wake up tomorrow next you. Amore mio, you are my angel! I miss everything of you and having all these stuff of yours in my wardrobe makes me crazy. I see your winter stuff and I want to have you here next to me like last Christmas. My patata.. days, months are gone behind us but I still feel the same passion, the same flying soul and big heart when I look at you. You are my reason of hope, my guiding light and I can't wait to have you tight in my arms soon again. In this life there is nothing else but a bit of love to make us happy. Buona notte amore mio. Trento is so boring without you even if I’m with my friends. Sleep well and come visit in my dreams, you’re mostly welcome principessa rap. Ti bacio..tesoro mio🐽🐽❤🐒 [2/26/18, 05:53:07] Captain P.: Dear love, i want to buy us a dog and to simply have a house where to spend time with you cooking, eating and dancing under the stars. Is that asking too much? Universe, Lord, please give us the strength to stay together till that joyful day. Please help us getting there soon, and faster if You can. Anyway patata I miss you as always and I always think of you every moment of my life. Wherever I look I see your eyes. You know I’m always here as a family right? You’ll always have a house with me, and a place where you’re loved. Remember that in the darkness. I’m arriving soon In geneve and the next weeks are going to be fast as hell for me. Deadlines are approaching and travels as well. In this chaotic period everything I ask for is just time to still be able t call you and see your beautiful face. Above all, just off records, I would love to have an açai bowl right now. Please let’s go have one each evening when I’m in Dubai, especially if it’s gonna be my last time there. Potato mia, don’t worry about a thing at work because I know that in the end you’re still working your ass out. Ti bacio tanto è ti bacio tutta tesoro Mio. Rise and shine today. Always, Captain P.🐽🐒❤ [2/26/18, 09:58:31] YL: 💕 [3/1/18, 04:03:44] Captain P.: Dear love, in the past weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about your happiness. I think I might have been mentally egoist by time to time because I didn’t push you enough to actually change and move from Dubai. Not Dubai really, more about Kerzner. You deserve much better. And not because you are special or super qualified (these things the careeer  that will prove it and I’m not really interested), but because you deserve to be happy. The past year you experienced something that in the end doesn’t make you happy, not for the job type maybe but relationship wise, life balance and self esteem. I really hate how they treated you and how i saw sometimes the amazing Aura light of yours being feeble and fading. The Golden Mounth I love is the one with shiny eyes, enthusiast and thirsty of high speed life. Even if this means having you in Bangkok I don’t care. Go wherever you’re happy because than everything in life follows. And please let’s not even try to argue that changing company every year is bad and this Bla Bla shit of HR micro brained people because fuck them.. what matters a 20years is to go wherever your happiness and heart tells you, no matter the stability of the job or if sticking to the same monster corporation would make you grow in the big organisation. Screw the big organisations and playing by the rules. They are all just creating a society of dumb models which like, aim and work for the same stupid goal. People who really change and think out of the box can’t stick to the ordinary rules. You’ve been gifted the power of love and enthusiasm..don’t let it burst. More than ever our time is kind of transitionary in all industries and you are building exceptional profile through multiple experience in various key developing countries. Go out there and experiment, yet with a big smile on your face and a heart full of emotions. No matter the distance I can only love that Golden Mounth and, most importantly, I want you to be happy at any cost otherwise what I really love about you would be at stake. Sounds weird yet this is quite a utilitarian approach because you being happy boosts my love and also makes you feel better. Thanks the universe we found this win win solution!!! All that being said, don’t be sad at all in the next days since we always need to relatively think how lucky is it already to have all what we got and mainly we got each other and a big chunk of love. It’s not something that everyone is having everyday. Go to work and slay everyone at Kerzner with your smile, with your prominent youth that says fuck off and YOLO ya all bitchas with that taste of professionalism which would give the global office the knock out. I will always be your supporter number one, and will always push you to the top of your happiness. Don’t let anyway let you down and proudly walk the walk of life beautiful soul. Un bacio grande tesoro, sleep well tonight. Soon I’ll be there and these love notes won’t be needed. ‎[3/1/18, 05:05:40] Captain P.: ‎image omitted [3/1/18, 05:06:45] Captain P.: (The one before the heart should be a dick) [3/1/18, 07:01:15] YL: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 [3/1/18, 07:02:51] YL: Thank you babe for the love note [3/1/18, 07:02:54] YL: ❤️ [3/2/18, 02:57:40] Captain P.: Dear love you are so beautiful that everytime I see you even on skype ( as it is now that I am writing this love note) I ask my self how is it possible that I bumped in such an incredible creature. I look at you eating and I wish all the nutrients get properly in your body so that you’ll be fully in shape and strong. When I see you dressed I get the vibrant sensuality and all your presence smashes me as an oceanic wave. I could go on forever describing your beauty but I will have to keep this for many other love notes. Good luck with your test today, I know by far that you’re going to do great. Finally after weeks of uncertainty the doors are now open to you and you just need to decide which one to enter. Will be good either way I guess because it’s a deserved luxury to choose and for you the best is yet to come. How marvellous is it to dream with open eyes having such an unpredictable world ahead. Un bacio grande Tesoro mio bello. Visit me in my dreams princess. Always. <3

[3/3/18, 03:25:00] Captain P.: Buona notte amore mio, I want to debate with you forever. We can both actually be very stubborn and restless. I will never stop loving you in spite of how many times you’ll hang up on me. I’m just waiting to debate and kill each other in person so that there is no such half way of making peace but everything can end up sleeping together and hugging each other for the rest of the night. Here it’s full of midsts tonight and I wish I could have you here next to me to share this bed. I want to spend my life with you and to never stop being so in love that we can spend hours on the phone debating and debating ending up just reading Pinocchio and still hating/loving one another. Sleep tight and come visit me in the midst. I’m waiting for you already. Un bacio grande principessa mia🐒❤🐽 [3/4/18, 03:32:22] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I really like thinking about you as the accent of my life as I said earlier tonight. Living this time on the planet thinking about you is something I will never get used enough to be bored. You give me this sweet hope that keeps me alive while burning all my energies. I really hate the distance and the inability of just seeing each other regularly, however I wouldn’t give up on us for anything in this world, I will always fight to go to bed knowing I let you know I love you and that we can push it further night over night. Every additional 24h with you is a precious gift to me. Beside all of this simply sweeet things I am actually profoundly happy for you because of the amazing opportunity you fought for. Seeing you growing and being independent is for me an example, a model to admire. I think you are my master in love and together we can build an ever lasting precious story which we will be able to proudly look back. We are slowly discovering each other through the best and the worst, and there is still so much inside each of us that we don’t know. It’s great to find who we are through the lenses of the other. We will both need the other one when down and I’m ready for everything. I don’t mind thinking of sleeping only with you because I also know that you can be many to my eyes. One day you are the sweet potato, the other one the nasty princess and another one more the fragile girl. I’m in love with all of your faces because of your special soul. The week of decision is ahead you. Be clear in your mind and work hard my love. I send you loads of kisses. Un bacio grande mia regina🐽🐒❤

Ps: the girl is sleeping in matteo’s bed, she is a classic ballet dancer here to be tested at a dancing academy. [3/5/18, 05:40:21] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m finally going to bed after waiting for matteo for ages because his train was late. Now I remover your train was late as well and how happy I was when you surprise me here. To be honest I think that has been the best thing someone has ever done for me and was the best day of my life indeed. In other words, in just a year you manage to steal my heart forever and I will never get bored at reading  bed night stories to you or spending time texting love notes. I’m so trhirlled for you for tomorrow. Don’t stress about the answer from Bangkok. Whatever happens you’ll still have a rotten tomato on your side, in Dubai in Bangkok as a senior or as an intern. Stay strong and keep on rocking the world beautiful princess. I love you always and deeply. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. BuOnanotte ❤🐽🐒 [3/6/18, 05:49:28] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, most of the times I believe we are all just beginners when it comes to love. I’ve been writing love notes for the past year, however I still know nothing about it because it’s such an incredible magic. I love you so much my potato, I always think about you and how to get closer. It’s incredible how two beings can be so attached to each other. I want only you and I don’t want to ever stop loving you. Not reading bed night stories and having enough Skype yesterday is already something I didn’t like. Big kisses to from the rotten tomato! I do tired I can bearly think right now. I just landed in Tbilisi. Emily and Luis are good people and flight was all good ! Now passport control, exchanging some money and straight to the transfer car! Good luck with your day and finger crossed for the great decision! Un bacione grande tesoro mio. You are my life [3/6/18, 05:54:30] Captain P.: 🐽🐽🐽🐽🐽 [3/6/18, 22:36:00] Captain P.: Dear love, in this lonely room the thought of you is what keeps me dreaming about the amazing world I see with your love. Reading carver stories makes me wonder about our love and how am I in love with you. There is nothing stronger than this and I wouldn’t be able to describe it better than: you are the one I want to talk to forever. I want to exchange with you everything. I want to spend all my time and all my energy to dissipate energy with you till the end. People here are poor, yet most of them know better than western what is generosity, hospitality and, therefore love. We wi have a dog from these pastures. I swear. And I swear we are going to love it more than our friends ahahah! Above all, I’m so Proud of you going to Bangkok, starting a new chapter and picking up new challenges. Good luck with everything my love. Be strong at work and work hard even if You’ll be done soon. Tu bacio tanto tesoro mio.. you are my angel and only one. Buona notte from the rotten tomato🐽🐒❤ [3/7/18, 23:54:37] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I understood only at last what you meant tonight on Skype. Yes I can only imagine it is hard.. but you know that’s why there is love in this planet and that’s why we can build our house from scratch and start having our own set of things which will value twice as much because we dreamed of them and are creatures of our love. I’m sure together we have no limit and all this apparent emptiness is there to be filled with our love and creation of future. There are no boundaries in this world when two people are in love and that power mange to generate miracles. I love you with all my heart and my living is aimed to stay and pamper you. Wish you were here in this bed with me so that I can hug you and I wouldn’t have snake nightmares and you dizzy head. Un bacio grande tesoro Mio. Buona notte principessa rap. Always, ❤🐒🐽 [3/9/18, 00:27:05] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I will ever let you down. You are an amazing being and I respect you so much. I want to give you the best this world can offer and there is no creature as beautiful as you are to my eyes. You are a wonderful gift from the ski that was awarded to me only to be pampered and caressed. I love you with all My heart and no matter What we will Make it till The day we live under the same roof. After that Day we Can fight on whatever we want. I want to live my life with you and nothing else matter. Have a great boat party and feel sexy because you are. Un bacio grande amore mio, buona notte principessa della mia vita❤🐒🐽 [3/10/18, 01:52:32] Captain P.: Buona notte love of my life, when will we get bored of each other? Hopefully never. I will always have that extra amount of energy to read bednight stories to you princess. I dream of you taking on your new adventures and how amazing all this challenges are and how you are a surfer of this world. I honestly think we are the most amazing couple on this planet, the craziest duo and the most romantic patheads in circulation. I always feel like flying when I’m with you and I don’t ever what to touch the ground again. Have sweet dreams and come visit me in mine. Un bacio tesoro mio. Sleep tight principessa❤🐒🐽 [3/11/18, 01:00:12] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my everything. In the good and In the bad times I will always know I win in life anyway because we are together and our love has infinite resources. Everything I see i project it on you and on how we could experience it together. I’m burning every single minute that still separates us. I want to talk to you each night because in the end, no matter who I meet or who I get to spend time with, the only one I miss is my patatahead next to me. You are a star to my eyes and I feel we are like the moon and the sun, meant to work together and to shine of each other’s reflection. I send you all my love and a huge amount of kisses to cover you all..! We went out for dinner with some from the other organisations and was fun in a nice place with some music as well. Ti bacio tutta patatozzz🐽 buona notte tesoro, sleep tight and don’t forget to come visit me while dreaming princepessa rap❤🐒always, Captain P.. [3/12/18, 00:24:45] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my angel and I will always do anything to keep it this way. I’m more than sure life has some great plans for us because such a big love cannot be dissatisfied. I can’t think of anyone that could possibly love you more than I do and whenever I would find that guy I would prove the impossible. Sleep well and hopefully tonight you won’t have trouble with tummy pain!! I dream of us laying on the soft grass and just picking flowers thinking of how beautiful is life when we have one another. Can’t wait to touch your hairs and feel your warm breath on my chest. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, buona notte principessa 🐒❤🐽 [3/13/18, 04:11:49] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, sounds like all of these incredible choices are hard today, however one day you’ll look back and everything will make sense. I also know it sounds redundant, but you know well that both are pretty fine. Try to pause the time and feel the thrill, feel the pride of being such a senior potato that earned it all with its bare hands. I’m so proud of you and also so happy for you. Either way you’ll end up well. I also think our prayers worked and that’s a good reason to get back to our previous daily practice. Not only the universe gave you the golden contract but also an alternative. Feel honoured and grateful because it’s important to sometimes stop and celebrate success when life give it to you. We tend to emphasise what’s bad or unsuccessful, yet I think this situation deserve a nice toast. Luckily we will be soon together to celebrate. These last few days I’ve been in contact with Azeri shepherds that earn what you would earn per month as a yearly salary, actually for their entire household. If I can tell a final suggestion I think you should go for the one that would allow you the highest impact on the highest amount of people. Living beings and their happiness is what matters the most, choose the one which allows you to touch more lives. There are still so many things in this world that need to be changed and I always think you are one of those crazy enough dreamers to think they can change it, and for this mere reason you will. You will change it. No matter what I will support you and love you always: here, now, in the future and even if I would have to bring my ass to planet mars. Buona notte amore mio, hopefully you are now sleeping sweet dreams. I’m at the airport standing in the check in line and saying goodbye to Georgia. Will text when in Geneva. You are a beautiful flower. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, always to my principessa rap❤🐒🐽 [3/14/18, 01:54:49] Captain P.: Buona notte love of my life, I still need to pack and do quite a bit of things but I’m so tired that I decided to go to bed now and wake up early tomorrow instead. You are my only light and reason of happiness. I only think of you all the time and how to find why towards our happiness. Next week this time I will almost be travelling to yours. I can’t wait to see you and touch you and put my hands into your hairs. What and incredible life are we having. New steps are ahead us, yet what I’m sure about is that we are going to make those together. You’ll never be alone in this world till I breath. Un grande bacio amore mio, im excited to see your city, we need to go there together sooon. Come visit me in my dreams. Buona notte tesoro🐒❤🐽 [3/15/18, 06:19:39] Captain P.: Love of my life, you are my angel my sweet potato and only love. Don’t panic for this choice I’m sure you’ll be fine no matter the place, salary and job. I’ll be always here for you and will always find a way to get to you because love is the only things that nurture my happiness and you are the custodian of my heart. I had a nice dinner with Claudia and now at home Ready to sleep [3/16/18, 01:21:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hope you are fine and having some fun either outside or in your dreams. I can’t wait to know what you end up deciding so that I’ll know where I will come to visit my wonderful patata. I miss you as never before even in the big Apple and I would give anything to have you here with me strolling around midtown and all this hectic streets. I walked a lot today going everywhere I could to see the main touristic places. I’m now collecting my things from claudia’s place and going to check in at the hotel where I’ll meet all the other team members. I’m sure whatever you choose it’s going to be exciting and I’m so happy you actually got the opportunity to choose. It’s crazy how I miss you and how I can’t wait to touch your hairs very soon. Whenever I have WiFi I will keep loud tone up so that if you call I’ll try to pick up to hear your voice. In the mean time I send you all my love and a big hug to celebrate the choice. I’ll always love you and I always think of you. ❤🐒🐽be safe principessa rap [3/16/18, 01:32:14] YL: Baby [3/17/18, 07:11:43] Captain P.: Dear my patata, these days everything is long and hard because there is no personal time left for us. I miss you like oxygen. I really want to come back here with you because this time I’m actually not seeing much due to the intense schedule and also loads of people around. Potato you have no idea today we had to welcome 3000 students and the entire staff team is 60 people only. Anyway I’m sleeping next to a guy right now and how I wish I could hug you instead and touch your hairs. My love I wish you all the best for the talk with the guy tomorrow and I’m sure your contract won’t be jeopardised. There is no worry about that. Can’t wait to see you again and spend some time in tranquility with you. Un bacio grande. No matter how many odds the universe will try to test us I will always believe we are like the sun and the moon chasing each other to te infinite. I think I would give anything to be in that hotel back next to the moon lake in Taipei right now. You are always in my thoughts. Buona notte principessa mia❤🐒🐽sleep tight. [3/18/18, 07:56:15] Captain P.: Potato love of my life! Had some Kieran barbecue for dinner!Finally in bed even if out is San Patrick’s day and Saturday evening, to tired as all the staff members to do anything at all because tomorrow is again meeting at 6:15 am [3/18/18, 07:56:59] Captain P.: I love you always and deeply. Every place I go and no matter how could the company is.. I always wish you were there [3/18/18, 07:59:20] Captain P.: Come visit me in my dreams tonight❤🐒🐽can’t wait to see you soon this week. Un bacio grande amore mio!!! Buona notte tesoro, go rock at work tomorrow your first day as a senior potatohead with golden contract [3/19/18, 15:49:47] Captain P.: Amore mio I just entered Claudia’s place! I’m dead, but happy. In these days I met so many great people. The thing is that I will never met someone like you and I wouldn’t ask any better than just havenind you are staying with me because anythin [3/19/18, 15:50:27] Captain P.: Babe I felt asleep last night writing [3/19/18, 15:50:39] Captain P.: Didn’t sent my love note [3/19/18, 15:50:59] Captain P.: I just woke up after some good sleep [3/20/18, 07:29:22] Captain P.: Love of my life you are my only desire and thought all the time. Brew york is a crazy city amazing and hectic. I really enjoyed it however I need to be back soon with you. Can’t wait to see you and stay with you very soon my one and only. I can’t believe it’s veri sooon [3/20/18, 07:36:38] YL: 💕 [3/21/18, 03:59:22] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I can’t wait to see you, [3/21/18, 03:59:29] Captain P.: Amore matteo’s flight cancelled.. [3/21/18, 03:59:35] Captain P.: Michi’s flight cancelled [3/21/18, 04:00:28] Captain P.: There is a snow storm coming and they are cancelling loads of flights let’s pray for mine. [3/21/18, 04:33:22] Captain P.: Dear love of my life I really do hope I’ll get my flight going because I can’t wait to see you very soon. You are my guiding light and happiness. My love for you is so deep and consistente that I could not immagine anyone loving someone more. I miss your small hands and nice nose. You wisheotimg into my ears and biting my lips while fucking gently or hard. I miss everything about you. Un bacio grande mia principessa! Buona notte sweatheart [3/21/18, 04:33:26] Captain P.: Have a great day [3/21/18, 04:34:09] Captain P.: I had an amazing stay here and at least half of it is thanks to you. Claudia is a great friend [3/21/18, 04:36:45] Captain P.: I’m boarding and my flight is delayed half an hour. Let’s just hope we can take off [3/21/18, 10:56:20] YL: 💕💕 [3/22/18, 03:23:48] Captain P.: Dear love of my life I wish all nights were like this one. The thrill, the hope, the positive feeling of seeing you tomorrow is making me speechless. I’m excited and happy as a kid going to the seaside for the first time or touching a snowflake. The stupor is embracing my heart making it beating fast fast fats. Un bacione amore mio, you are my only happiness and person I want to spend time with in this life. I had fun at soccer and now going to bed and getting to the airport tomorrow. Buona notte principessa. Love you alwayss❤🐽🐒 [3/30/18, 01:47:37] Captain P.: Dear my love, as always saying goodbye to you it’s not the easiest thing. I want you to know that you are my one and single love. It will always be like this till the end of time. I feel kissed by the gods to find someone as special as you on my path and that somehow, in our own crazy way, we managed to never let each other go. I also want you to know how proud I am of this patata that with her own strength and strive lives her life here entering in a new apartment already. I can’t wait to visit you already in 21st century tower and worship my pussy again. Sleep well and enjoy your evening out. I love you so much. I always dream about our story and how we are building a unique journey in this incredible existence. With you I feel I am a whole, perfection seems at our reach and no moment is a regret. Times fly as my heart flys high when you next to me. Un bacione patatozza❤🐒🐽always to my principessa rap, buona notte. [3/31/18, 03:17:38] Captain P.: Love of my life, you are my fire and my only desire (as the silly song says) but I truly love you deeply and I want to be like this forever. I miss you so much now that I’m in a bed alone. Tonight is my first night being without you since last one was on a plane. I really hate not being with all the time. Anyway it is good being back with family for few days and also eating good food, however every place I go I think about how I would enjoy it more with you. I think of you all the time. I send you all my love and un bacione❤🐒🐽buona notte patata mia sleep well and visit me in my dreams [4/1/18, 03:27:12] Captain P.: Dear my patata, the best for us is yet to come and I am so happy to be in love with such an amazing woman. You are beautiful and you are a nice soul as well. I have no words to explain my will to have you here right now next to me sharing the same sky and the shining room. I want to remember our dinner with Sophia mosque as a view. I year is now behind us and I wouldn’t regret a single moment. Every time with you food is delicious and atmosphere perfect. Soon we will have vota as our memory too remembering it as another night full of smiles and laughs. I would love to have you in my arms amore. Good luck with this new adventure and the new apartment, so excited for you. Ti bacio and send you all my love.🐒❤🐽buona notte principessa rap. [4/2/18, 02:08:45] Captain P.: Amore you are my sunshine and the real only happiness! Don’t be upset about your clothes because soon more will come and also better ones. On top of that you are beautiful and anything will suits you. I love you deeply and you’ll see how being in the new apartment will make you forget any other shitty things. Exciting times are coming patata mia. I had fun with edo and the boys but at home now because tomorrow is study day, I’m really far behind with my thesis. Drive safe on the patmobile tomorrow morning and smile my sweet potato. I miss you dearly. Un bacione amore mio. Buona notte tesoro🐽🐒❤ [4/4/18, 01:46:36] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, every day without you next to me is wasted and kind of useless [4/4/18, 02:01:50] Captain P.: I feel like I just want to spend all the time left in my life with you and keep you tight in my arms. It’s hard to understand how love functions, however for some reason you are a solid though in my mind and a warm light into my heart. I feel you with all my senses, from smell to voice I love everything about you. I would also recognise you by any of these sensible characteristics: the smoothness of your skin, the silky hairs, the sweet voice or creamy smell. I don’t know what is wrong and what is right in this life, yet I know this love feels good tonight and forever. I don’t ever want to stop exploring the world with you. I truly can’t wait to see you soon already. I’m so glad you recuperated your cloths and also discovering new food places so that later on we know where to go eat good Chinese food in Dubai. Un bacione amore mio. Sleep tight and visit me in my dreams principessa mia🐽🐒❤ [4/5/18, 04:12:07] Captain P.: Dear my only potato, tonight I miss you more than ever becuase you are the only human I’d like to spend time with. Edo’s party was nice and good vibes playing beer pong. However i simply wish you were here or me there. I don’t mind where we will be living. I just care of being with you leaving the every day life. Un bacio grande mia bellissima Patato, I hope I’ll see you in my dreams tonight. Maybe meeting in the desert talking and wisperig at eachothers ears. Buona notte tesoro. Can’t wait to meet you in your new room [4/6/18, 03:02:39] Captain P.: Dear my one and only, I love you from the bottom of my heart. You are my desire and dream❤🐒🐽 I just want you to be here with me, in my arms talking to the same moon. [4/6/18, 03:08:30] Captain P.: I really miss you. Seems ages already even if it was exactly a week ago that I was having dinner with my princess [4/6/18, 03:10:35] Captain P.: Don’t work too much tomorrow patata. Did you know today was carbonara’s international day? We should have celebrate that. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Buona notte and stay safe because I need to spend my life staring at your beauty. [4/6/18, 09:23:35] Captain P.: 🐽🐽🐽🐽 [4/7/18, 03:20:33] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, after a while writing easy love notes is maybe time for a series reflection of how our love is evolving. Let’s quickly remember how everything started.. from a slow inception of seeing each other randomly because of a mutual friend we ended up escaping to paris hand in hand with the most amazing love parenthesis of my life. Now after more than a year I still burn of love and my feelings are only deeper and stronger for you. The smoothness of your skin, the silky hairs and the warm heart are still fascinating me as a genuine lover. However, there are new characteristics I am starting to perceive of our love [4/8/18, 02:42:21] Captain P.: Dear love, the night here was a nice family event with cousins and grandma!! Anyway I just miss you and not having skypecall everyday is something I don’t like but today we have to accept it I guess. What did you do ?? How was buying furniture? I don’t ever want to stop dreaming with you because dreams are the only moment when you enter in a complete different world and if we do it together it’s even better. I wish very soon we will be having dinner together again. Principessa mia, i send you all my love. I will dream about us and our adventures, can’t wait to be again road tripping somewhere. Soon I want to live my days under the same roof. Un bacio grande patata, sleep tight and get some rest. Buona notte 🐽🐒❤ [4/9/18, 04:06:56] Captain P.: Love of my life, we arrived late late today because SBB is repairing the railway between losanne and Geneva and they put us on a bus. Anyway.. who cares. The only thing that matters is that I miss you so so much and that I really want to see your beutiful fresh face. I would give anything to step into your room now and slowly introduce my self under your bed sheets. I always think of you and wonder how amazing this life is since you stepped in. I love you with all my heart. Un bacio grande amore mio. No matter what I’ll be here. Buona notte and try to sleep tight tesoro🐽🐒❤ [4/10/18, 02:04:53] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are the my angel and only lovable occupation. I think of you as an untouchable flower which is fragile yet strong as a raw diamond rock. I love you to the infinite. Don’t even bother your mind think of those dumb fuck at the office because as I already said they are small, small in their mind. In spite of their stupidity you have beauty, youth and a provoking brain on your side. Don’t ever let them tell you who you are or what to do. Don’t ever let them have you as they wish. I would personally slap them if I only could. Anyway I miss your body, your smooth hairs between my fingers and that fresh face next to me when I sleep. I’m still in my way back to the residence and tomorrow is another long day. My one and only goal is to live a life with you, creating an extraordinary existence. I can’t wait to have a roof with you and our PEPE to look at stars together. Un bacio grande amore mio. Sleep tight and meet me in my dreams, I’ll be waiting for your visit. Buona notte tesoro, always my princess. ❤🐒🐽 [4/11/18, 04:06:22] Captain P.: Dear love I just landed. You are my happiness and trigger for good. My flight was smooth beside was one hour late because there was a battery problem from Istambul. Anyway I am in Tbilisi. I can’t wait to see you again and to kiss your forehead every morning as a week agosto staying with you for a week made me feel I could have you always but it isn’t like that yet. We will change this very soon. We will have our Pepe and life is going to be so much better and serene. Rise and shine beautiful flower🐽🐒❤ un bacio grande tesoro mio [4/12/18, 01:20:19] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you dearly and I just want you hear next to me now to be pampered and loved. I love you enough that I would go on a desert island with you for the rest of my life. When I am with you there’s no need for anything else. I can only see my self working towards our shared life. Un bacio grande love. Ti amo tesoro🐽🐒❤ [4/13/18, 01:11:28] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I want you badly here with my and I want to paper you so much when you are sick as tonight. I want to live my life with you and spend all the time I can with you under a roof of stars. Tonight we are again away from each other, however my heart and mind is always very close to you. There is no one else to me and nothing else beside our love that matters to me. Buona notte tesoro mio, sleep tight and have sweet dreams. You are my angel. Un bacione tesoro, always 🐽❤🐒 [4/14/18, 01:43:48] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are everything to me. I can’t wait to build our house and family and live the dream I always hope to achieve. But besides all these conventional goals I want simply to stand by your side and being the one always holding your hand while our souls merge into one entity. I love you to the moon and back my only love. I think of us as the only safety in this world and I know together we can become something unique and very precious. Sleep tight and get some rest🐒❤🐽buona notte tesoro mio. Un bacio grande [4/15/18, 00:18:18] Captain P.: Buona notte amore mio, love of my life, there is no Dubai restriction that will ever see us defeated. We will always find a solution to make everything work no matter the distance, no matter the difficulties they try to put us through. I can’t wait to be in your new flat and sleep in your bedroom. I’m sure the new house will welcome you with a proper sleep tonight and the more time passes the more decoration and home atmosphere will be created in the flat. You are my princess and I always think of you pathead. Un bacio grande tesoro mio❤🐒🐽 you are my angel. Always [4/16/18, 02:00:51] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I had a lot of time to think about lots of things in these days in Georgia. Maybe I am suggested by the simple environment I found my self in right now, yet I think is everting but the opposite. In short, I think here I’m thinking more clearly about things because life is simple and understanding how lucky we are makes me fear how much I have to loose in my life. I came to the conclusion that the only thing I don’t ever want to loose is you because you are the most precious thing I have and not because at the moment I feel good with you but because I truly believe we will leave our life together. Living a life together isn’t certainly something easy and it isn’t also something people of our age in our generation decide usually. I think our generation might be loosing a lot of love because of the circumstances and I don’t care about the distance about the others. I care about you and I love you. You are my hope to a world where everything is possible. A world where the law of love rules. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, i can’t wait to be again with you very soon. Buona notte principessa. Always, ❤🐒🐽 [4/16/18, 07:56:46] YL: Morning precious love 🌹 [4/16/18, 23:20:39] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, You are like the first snow of the season. Every time I get excited like a kid and I will always be fascinated till the end. Your beautiful face and perfect skin. I miss you hairs mainly. But also you whispering to my ear and our legs crossing while sleeping. I cant wait to be there already and go eat some açai knowing that after we can just hug and smell each other skin. I love you so much that is hard to picture. I don’t want to live anyone else on this planet. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Sleep tight principessa. Always,🐽🐒❤ [4/16/18, 23:35:39] YL: 💛 [4/18/18, 01:56:43] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m glad you’re having so much fun building and settling in your own new place. You deserved it and also need it. Can’t wait to be actually there and explore your room. You’ll be always me favourite flower and the crazy sex appeal I feel for you is never over. I wish you were here as every night. I’ll never be tired of saying how happy I’ll be when we will be living together, starting our own gated life. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Drop by in my dreams for a kiss. Sleep tight principessa rap. Always ❤🐽🐒 [4/19/18, 01:29:10] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss yo soo much !! My day was class and editing thesis all day long! football was very nice and run a lot today so I feel much better now. I have here a new airbnb guest from milan studying at Christie's , he is a bit weird but calm. I hope you got the time to rest a bit and eat some good dinner my potato. I would really love to eat a nice acai bowl with you and sleep next to your fresh face. Soon enough this will be routine and in the mean time come and meet me in dreams where everything is allowed. Un bacio grande babe, sleep tight! you are my sputnik sweetheart. Buona notte principessa ❤ [4/21/18, 05:06:59] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, we’ve been running after each other and I can’t wait to see you face even if it still gonna be Skype. The fire I hold for you is strong. I understood that every minute I’m not with you it’s some time lost to be together that it will simply never come back. That’s why the soonest I want to make sure no time will be wasted in not being together. There is still a long way towards a shared life, yet I think I will never get enough and I must use all the time I have with you. I hope you had fun and that you’re sleeping sweat dreams. See you there now that I join the night as well. Buona notte mio amore. Send you all my love in a night that I would like more than ever to have you next to me. Un bacio principessa. Always, ❤🐒🐽

[4/22/18, 03:37:29] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, in this type of nights you are the only princess I want to take care of. I don’t want to party with anyone else more than you and I will always be willing to be anywhere in your company. I feel like I couldn’t get closer to anyone as much as you because our way of living love is something I never experienced before. I always just want the best for the being I care the most in this planet and you are the happiness I look for. Un grande bacio tesoro mio, sleep tight and be serene. Buona notte patata mia, the best for us il all about to happen. Always, ❤🐒🐽

[4/23/18, 01:05:38] Captain P.: Dear love of my life you remain and always be my only princess. I look at you and I see the woman I want to spend all my time with. There is no one else’s into my eyes and thoughts. Please be careful and eat properly I need you to be around for long and healthy. Soon you’ll be back in Taipei and the happiness will be over the ceiling. So happy and excited for you my love. Sleep tight and please come over to meet me inside, inside my dreams. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Buona notte principessa❤🐒🐽 [4/24/18, 03:02:37] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you can’t imagine how happy am I to see you in only 9 days. I’m also excited for you going back to taipei! I want full reportage of food. Can’t wait to go to din tai fun as soon as in Dubai. You made me discover new colours in this world, a new dimension and set of possibilities at my reach. For this I will always be grateful and ready to read bed night stories for you. I’m thrilled every time I receive a message or that I talk to you. I’m simply still so much in love with you that I can nearly not put it in words. How crazy is the world of love. Let’s please never exit it and make it our shared house instead, forever. Buona notte amore mio, sleep tight and drive safe tomorrow if you’ll go to the fair by car. Un bacio grande tesoro. Come and see me in the dreams bocca d’orata.🐽🐒❤ [4/25/18, 01:39:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you dearly, it is homesickness that is smoking down deep into my bones. It’s hard to not have you around always. Also, reading the little prince is actually very thought provoking becuase it speaks about what we value in life and honestly what we should be valuing as number one thing is love. My love for you is an infinite flame, Something that will last forever. I cannot think of someone that I know which is sharing my same craziness for a being, however there is no scale in love. There are no matrix nor figures. What matters is what you feel inside and when I see you my heart gets bigger, my brain wider and my willingness to provide you with anything you’d be needing is endless. I would do anything my love. I can’t wait to see you again, and I wish we will be this in love for ever After. I’m Ready for a Life of bednight sotirez and love notes even when next To you. I’ll never get tired. It is so exciting to think of growing old together. Un bacio grande love of my life, Sleep tight my only principessa❤🐒🐽 [4/26/18, 02:42:05] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, tonight there is no bed night stories and we couldn’t call but I still want you to know you complete me. You make up my mistakes and help me be a loving being. You are the closest thing to family I ever had. Beside blood, I believe family is people in your life who want you in theirs. The thing is that I will always be willing to keep you in mine because my love for you is forever. Than later on, gianmarco or Lila might even mix up our genes but for us is a choice. For us willl be choosing the soul of the other every single day. When I’m not with you there is silence and brooding in my heart, instead with you around colors get brighter, food taste better and time isn’t an issue. Everything is following the wave of enthusiasm without stressing our human limits. With you I’m infinite, and with you I live forever in the energetic power of love. You’re travelling back home, to the country that got my heart stolen setting a milestone in the history of our love journey. I will never forget the heart beats and strong emotions I felt on that island. I hope you have a great time and also relax, eat well and feel loved. Un bacio grande patata mia🐽🐒❤ I think of you all the time and stage safe, text me when you land. Buon viaggio principessa. [4/27/18, 09:06:31] Captain P.: Dear my potatohead, today is not going to be a night love night but a daily one. You are the sweet taste of strawberries in a sad day. You are the pervasive smell of coffe in a cold and frosty morning. On me you have the same effect of a perpetual safe paradise where to hide no matter if outside is sunny or windy. In other words, the refugee of love we created with such a hardship is unique and can’t be broken by some stupid misunderstanding. I do not see a world without you. It’s too long i imagine my future next to you. Next week this time we will be having breakfast together and my happiness in thinking about this is transmuting my lips into a nice smile. That’s love, the smile printed on the face whenever I think of you. Un bacio grande patatozza mia. Enjoy home, friends, food and mommy. [4/28/18, 03:32:54] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, we live apart however you are the only being I want stay and spend my life with you forever. I really hope you’re having all the fun possible at the amazing wedding you are at. One day we will have something similar but much better becuase we are so special that anything we do together becomes the best thing in the entire world. With you I have no boundaries. With you my soul is flying above any level. Let’s never let someone stop this love vibe we manage to preserve. I love you from the bottom of my heart Golden Mounth. Please stay healthy and allow me to be next to you for the remaining time on this planet.🐽🐒❤ 4/30/18, 01:28:11] Captain P.: Dear love, sometimes people tell me we are crazy. Sometimes people don’t understand why we are loyal to each other even if thousands of kilometres and different communities separates us. These days I thought a lot about why people in general are so hopeless towards love. Mostly they don’t have the courage to make extraordinary things happen. In our story, honestly, extraordinary events seems ordinary. We are so well tuned, so perfectly in harmony that travelling to Dubai became to me a quick bus transfer and being on Skype my favourite hobby. No one understands the preciousness of this type of love till they experience it. And even so, each love is different and the perceptions differs by the being due to the past experiences. All these thoughts just to say that I am eager to pursue the amazing path of life with your companionship. With you I feel complete and most importantly your kind soul nurture my heart with love. Anyways apparently you don’t need the original copy of the birth certificate. You need a copy and the translation if in a foreign language. I think getting married in Holland might be a good idea because seems so easy and since I’m going to be resident there we will have the right to do so. Anyway take a copy of birth certificate and get a photo of the original. Besides that we do not need anything else. Un bacio grande my love. Sleep tight and soon we will be together. Buona notte amore mio🐒🐽❤

[5/1/18, 00:23:27] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you’re up in the air but hear on the ground I think of you with a warm heart. Thanks the forces of the universe we decided to open our souls to each other with no fear of being rejected. Lovers have to be courageous. Tonight I was scrolling in my camera roll and I got back till taipei and I found a lot of funny things I completely for got. For instance I have an amazing Live Photo if you shooting darts to a target while we drink beer. The way you celebrate beating me is amazing. You’re truly happy of smashing me down and winning the match against me. That passion in doing something apparently silly makes me so happy and I can’t look at that picture without feeling homesick. Without thinking of that trip as the best travel I ever decided to do. I missed you so much these days and I can’t wait to see you my love. Few days and we will be back in our usual team. I can’t wait to see your beautiful face and sleep next to it. I’m always excited as the first time, always nervous on the plane as the first time I visited you. I’m so glad you saw your mum and your friends. Ti bacio tanto principessa mia. Be safe and treat your self well after the long trip. Soon I’ll be there to pamper you. Buona notte amore❤🐒🐽 [5/2/18, 01:14:08] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, how can I even start writing my love note tonight with this background picture..? I can wait to see you, to have you. I miss you deeply. I want to spend time chatting and being stupid. I’m so glad I’ll be there for two weekends. Actually if I think about it I’m already pissed at leaving that soon. Anyways.. I’m so happy to see you in 48h! Tomorrow I’ll be done with all my three essays and submit them so that I can only concentrate on thesis while in Dubai. Let’s go to the great mosque and also do something special for your birthday. I love you patata. Buona notte tesoro, sleep tight and visit me in my dreams🐒❤🐽 [5/3/18, 03:41:24] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I just closed my suitcase. I’m ready again to come and meet you. We have one of the most Italian suitcase ever- plenty of food. Anyway I can’t keep the blood running fast under my skin for the happiness I’ll feel tomorrow when seeing you. There is nothing in this world more important than you for me. Oh how happy I’ll be when I will be finally putting my hands into your hairs again. We have a lot of nights ahead to chit chat under the blankets and watch movies together. Un bacio grande love of my life. See you very soon princess❤🐒🐽 [5/22/18, 21:55:06] Captain P.: I just want to let you know that I feel very sad about how badly our conversation yesterday ended. I’m sorry...there is not much to say regarding the miscommunication and the misunderstandings. I would only like you to know that I care about what you think and feel. I’m so sorry this hurt you so much and I wish I could be there to hug you and make you understand how I feel on my side. Please don’t feel left behind because I was genuinely driven by the wave of enthusiasm. It was not in my intention to hurt you, mom nor being disrespectful to the ones I love. I also wish we can soon come to a shared understanding of the situation. Again, I apologise for giving you such a hard time yesterday.. that was certainly not healthy and I hope you are alright and It never happened that way. Talk soon.. [5/29/18, 03:55:36] Captain P.: Im boarding babe! I love you deeply my one and only.

Ps: very interesting thing happened.. I was sitting next to a guy and we talked because of a change of gate and he asked me where I was from and than me too.. we ended up talking a lot about many things. Look at his business card and also he is from Amsterdam [5/30/18, 03:22:33] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, here we go again with the old good love notes in which I try to jot down the colours of my heart. It is honestly really weird not to have you next to me or not to find your hairs today into my hands. There are a lot of gestures and sounds that I got used to in these two weeks that I’m missing. I felt in love with those habits and routine actions. I miss you a lot my potatoesss. Anyway tomorrow I’m sure you’ll get the finances sorted and all the payments will be set at the right time. Call the back and get the driving instalments sorters first and than credit card. Just leave internet last if javad wants to talk I don’t think they’ll cut it. I want to Skype you they can’t cut it. Wish you were here with me, cherishing a bit of Swiss breeze . Only thinking of when I’ll be with you again. Un bacio grande love. Sleep tight and come into my dreams. ❤🐒🐽 buona notte tesoro mio. [5/31/18, 03:19:49] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you with al my heart and no matter all the people I have around at any time the only one I’m willing to have around is you. I’m Only waiting to go to on a roadtrip and being free in the world with my princess. Everything has a meaning, everything is worth the energy. I like you even if you like th ghetto Italian trash music and even if after a while I get to like them as well. Un bacio grande mio grande amore sleep tight🐽🐒❤ buona notte tesoro [5/31/18, 05:20:51] Captain P.: Baby woke up again, where are your hairs and nice ass!!?? [5/31/18, 05:20:56] Captain P.: I miss you my love [6/1/18, 03:21:56] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, we should reflect why we are so beautiful. I was thinking about the beauty of our relationship. Honestly I think it’s incredible what love made us develop and how nice all these months with you have been. I think there are two main characteristic of our strength. First one is the imperfection. We have the beauty of those imperfect things that looks cuter and inspirational. We are far, we are crazy and exuberant many times. The second focal point is time. Time always provides a special overtone, the strength of a long lasting relationship for instance. In other words, we are beautiful because we are young, inconsiderate and full of passion. Please let’s never loose this incredible energy and let’s make our mistakes precious. What happened with your sister and man can become a golden scarf in our amazing relationship we can turn it into an inconsiderate action which make us grow as two beings that love each other [6/1/18, 03:24:44] Captain P.: And we will be going deeper in our relationship exploring lots of new worlds. I wish you were here as always amore mio. Buona notte stellina🐒❤🐽ti bacio tanto [6/2/18, 04:03:02] Captain P.: Sometimes distance makes everything faded. I wish I was there to hug you and make you feel my affection. I just want your smile and happiness my poatossss. I miss you crazily my love.  I always think of you and ou and see you everywhere. You are a present strong image in my mind and dreams and I feel I don’t ever want this to stop. Wherever you are and however you feel remember there is always me somewhere loving you. Un bacio grande mio tesoro. Buona notte 🐽🐒❤

[6/3/18, 01:45:57] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, since I met you my life went from negative to positive. Can’t wait to have you again into my arms and crawl with you in a bed. We shaped each other in this year and a half and I really look forward everything that is yet to come. I know there is happiness ahead. I dream of our roadtrip in Lebanon but I also know for me I roadtrip my heart everyday with you. Buona notte amore mio, sleep well and rock your week. Let me know how licenze is going . I miss you darling. Un bacio tesoro ❤🐒🐽 ‎[ [6/4/18, 01:06:44] Captain P.: Good night love of my life, today I had and amazing day heading in strong winds in the morning and sailing really tight next to the mountain. I feel already getting better and hopefully soon I’ll be a decent skipper [6/4/18, 01:06:45] Captain P.: How was iftar? Did you bring javad? [6/4/18, 01:06:46] Captain P.: After that I helped working at some improvements of the boat and visited both grandmas. Than we had a last joint dinner with brother mother and dad and tomorrow we are all leaving at 4 am. My brother has a plane at 6 and my train is at 5:45 from Verona! I hope you had a nice night and I wish I was there eating hummus with you honey [6/4/18, 01:06:46] Captain P.: Sleep well my only princess. I miss everything about you and nothing or anyone will ever be able to replace your warmth in my heart. Un bacio grande tesoro. I love you🐒🐽❤ come visit me in my dreams. Buona notte stellina [6/5/18, 08:48:34] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the realty is that this life without you next to loses a good 70% of its meaning. I m much more happier when you are with me and I am also a better person and my soul is properly fed by our love. I miss you deeply and I hate not being there pampering you and talking to you closely. What I also can’t accept is the fact of not waking up next to you and seeing your sleeping lips and just waken up hairs in that messy beauty after a night together. I can’t wait to be road tripping, to have some time to be out in the nature and enjoy the world with you. I’m so strongly in love that thinking of you going anywhere without me masked me feel bad becuase I wish there wouldn’t be any non shared experience anymore on our path. I love you with all my heart Golden Mounth. Un bacio grande tesoro. Sleep well and visit me in my dreams so that you can bring the colours my real life without you these days is missing. Buona notte patata❤🐒🐽 always [6/6/18, 02:34:05] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, everyday I miss you more. My love flame is burning intensively after those weeks with you always around my love. I think about you all the time and if I dream about anything you are there with me. I miss you talking funny and making my day happy with easy smiles. When you smile I am happy as well. I’m proud of you pat and you are my angel. I wish I could sneak with you under your blanckets, sleeping together again. I look at life and time with a printed smile on my face since I met you. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Sleep well and have sweet dreams. Buona notte patata❤🐒🐽 [6/7/18, 02:39:50] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’ve been searching Croatian Islands ever since I’m back from soccer and there are actually some intact beaches and marvellous views. People call them the Maldives of the Mediterranean Sea and I have to admit looks nice even compared to Sardinia or Canary Islands. Distance wise we can even drive there from Milan is not to bad as a road trip and we can stop by Trieste which is a nice city as well. Either this or Lebanon what matters is to be together and I’m sure I will discover the beauty of any country thanks to you. Did you survive the fire alarm rotten tomato? I can’t afford to loose you at that age please, a lot of pompinos are still ahead us. Stay safe potatohead.  Babe I miss you so much and I just wish distance could shrink at least at night to hug and wisper to each other under the blanckets. I can’t wait to see you soon and laugh again with the same fulfilment and joyful life. These days I just wish you could be here in geneve, going to the river and being together in the goodbye period in Switzerland. Un bacio grande tesoro, go rock last working day and visit me in my dreams. I always think of you my sweet potato: buona notte tesoro mio🐽🐒❤ with all my love. [6/8/18, 03:19:47] Captain P.: Goodnight love of my life, as I always say I am a better person when I am with you becuase we help each other seeing things differently. We can talk about love, life, dreams and happiness. This shows how deep we can dive into each others soul and I do not want to explore the caves of my mind with anyone else. There is no one else for me and you’ll always be my one and only. I love you more than how much I love my self. I believe this is the ultimate stage of love, if there is any ultimate stage it’s self. I hope we can find other stages and never stop exploring this life together. Un bacio grande mia principessa. Ti bacio tanto pat❤🐒🐽 [6/9/18, 02:13:51] Captain P.: Dear love of my life I miss you dearly and my love for you is strong as always. I never thought life could be so beautiful. I never thought it could be possible to love someone unconditionally and with consistency ! Good luck my potatoz tomorrow, brake a leg. I will think of you as always. I can’t wait to see you next to me travelling to any country trying to make our realty beautiful. Living this life with you it’s just so much better. Un bacio grande amore mio. Buona notte stellina cara, you my princess❤🐒🐽 [6/10/18, 01:55:31] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, everyday I live it as if we are one day closer to the joyful day when we will simply talk to each other from the other side of the bed. Every single night. I wish I could snuggle into your bed now and sleep with you before this small challenge I have tomorrow. Having you next to me gives me all the power I need to face anything. I can’t wait to be with you again, no matter where or in which facility I know our love is enough to make me happy, and fulfil all my needs. Im grateful to have you and to be able to love you intensively. Un bacio grande mio amore. Im profound of my pat getting a license and earning it all bit by bit on its own in the difficult world of adulthood. You are a miracle and I’m glad to be part of it. Buona notte stellina🐒❤🐽 [6/11/18, 02:34:04] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, today is just one of those days where freedom has a better taste, however throughout the entire day I was thinking how everything would have been just so much better if you were there. There is no freedom and there is no full happiness if you are not there with me. This level of love is the passion I want to feel everyday for the rest of my life. I love you so much my patata. I miss you dearly my love🐒❤🐽 [6/11/18, 02:38:22] Captain P.: Buona notte tesoro mio, sleep tight! Un bacio grande

[6/12/18, 03:50:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hope you’re sleeping happily and smoothly. Tomorrow I want to know everything about the car classes and I really need to see you face and listen to my princess voice. This days I miss you with all my heart because I just wish you were here able to enjoy with me this sort of free vibe I have after graduation. Even if the pathos is disappearing already I really wish I could share it with you. With my one and only love. I m think I g of you all the time and I really want to spend the rest of my free time in the next months the most I can with you. Soon is time to book our flights and any adventure with you will be the only thing I’m looking at with all my heart full of passion. Un bacio grande tesoro mio🐽🐒❤ I wish we could have breakfast together tomorrow and take you to work. Buona notte stella. 🐽🐽 [6/13/18, 02:05:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I really wish we could be together tomorrow just for the sake of showing everyone how beautiful is the woman I luckily found on my path. That second of December and your graduation simply kickstarted the story of my life and hopefully of our shared life. After a year and a half is my turn to walk the show and I will do it thinking of you all the time. Be safe in Dubai, I can’t afford to loose you. Pathead you mean everything to me. You are simply my best friend, favourite person and sexual passion. Let’s never stop loving each other and striving for mutual wellbeing. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, sleep tight. Buona notte stella❤🐒🐽always [6/15/18, 04:27:21] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, Patata mia, my phone went off at the beginning of the concert! A lot of people, crazy dance and really physically demanding ! The band was giving it all and weather was gentle with us. Sunny yet not to hot. Really nice event day but tooo tired to even think clearly. I wish you were here with me tonight. I’m sleeping in a round bed, kind of weird. How was your night? Were did you end up? We can talk tomorrow patata mia. You are the best at helping me, and I’m just so lazy these days after graduation. I need to have a look at it properly. I love you deeply [6/16/18, 04:18:55] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, as every night I wish you were here to share with you the lights of Florence by night. I deeply need to travel with you and smell your skin again. I miss you with all my body, soul and mind. I can’t live my life without you in it and I want to share the best moments and vibes only with you. The truth is that I even miss our skypecalls and our chats and discussion. I miss you [6/16/18, 04:36:29] Captain P.: Un bacio grande tesoro mio❤🐒🐽i send you all

[6/17/18, 04:15:47] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I was born to be with you in this space and time, my one and only source of happiness. I can try anything on this earth yet I’m bound to you. I didn't have a chance of not following in love with you. This is magnificent. Loving the marvellous power of fate. I know being far away is hard but I’m missing you more than ever and I can't wait to see your lovable face next to mine on the road soon. Tomorrow last concert. I wish you were here with me raising the glass and eating fine. Un bacio grande mio amore, sleep tight and dream of us❤🐽🐒buona notte patata!! Always [6/18/18, 03:37:04] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I think of you a lot every single day. I see your eyes everywhere and I want to hug you badly. Last concert was cool and the team is loosing two members tomorrow morning ! We will have sometime to visit the city tomorrow! I hope the days are passing by sweetly for you because I can’t wait to be back with you hunting for food and talking about us!! Un bacio grande tesoro mio [6/18/18, 03:40:49] Captain P.: Living this time on the planet thinking about you is something I will never get used enough to be bored. You give me this sweet hope that keeps me alive while burning all my energies. I really hate the distance and the inability of just seeing each other regularly, however I wouldn’t give up on us for anything in this world!! [6/18/18, 03:56:23] Captain P.: Sweet dreams potatohead🐒❤🐽 I muss you always [6/19/18, 01:35:49] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I feel with you things will just get better and better as the years roll on. This life it’s such a precious gift and it goes by so quick.. I don’t want to wait more than required to start living together. I want to be living under the same roof as soon as possible. The thing is that I never get enough of you and I can’t deal with not having you next to me. I miss you so much and I need to hear your voice much more often. How I wish you could appear here now, knock on my bedroom door and see your shiny eyes and than touch your silky skin. Babe I want to have a nice dinner and discover everything with you. I can’t wait to see the one I love as soon as possible. Ti bacio tanto patata mia, I hope I will see you in my dreams. Buona notte tesoro🐽🐒❤ [6/20/18, 02:58:11] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I can’t stop thinking of us cruising the world, road tripping the entire globe. I already see ya projected in the hot south of Italy eating fresh mozzarella and drinking bitter coffe at the bar desk! I can’t wait to see you again, to touch your body and having you from behind. I’m so madly in love with you.. you have no idea. I don’t want this feeling ever to stop. Un bacio grande patatozza. Buona notte tesoro mio. Sleep tight and join me in the world of dreams tonight. I send you all my love🐒🐽❤

[6/21/18, 01:46:49] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I don’t ever wanna loose you nor grow apart. I just love the way we are, how we argue and how we end up into our conversation. Right now the only thing I want to do is to be there to eat you all in one bite and sleep next to you smelling your fresh skin. I’m so jealous of fat teddy.. he doesn’t deserve that. I can’t wait to be again together and simply being able to talk about things again and face to face eating at nice restaurants again. I miss DTF and the matcha deserts as well. I don’t see anything in this world I would like if it wasn’t for your beautiful aura to shred light on it. Buona notte patata mia.. oh how I wish you were here. Un bacio grande principessa❤🐒🐽 [6/22/18, 01:18:23] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hope you’re safe and sound!! I miss you dearly. I also hope you’re having fun. I only want the best for you and I want to be part of you life forever. I want you to be into my life forever. I’m driving to geneve tomorrow morning leaving at 4 am. Tomorrow I have a meeting worth altus in the afternoon and than Matteo will also arrive by plane. Last weekend in geneve, probably for ever. I hope one day we will go back to Switzerland for some senior position or just as rich tourists!! In life everything is so crazy and we do not know what can happen. I just want to see you the soonest. I’m thinking about you all the time honey. Sleep well. I love you deeply. Un bacione amore mio! Buona notte tesoro❤🐽🐒 [6/23/18, 04:27:24] Captain P.: Patata I met Rodrigo and his friends around because Switzerland won the match at the worlds cup tonight [6/23/18, 04:35:14] Captain P.: I’m just dead and in need of going home. I wish I could find you when entering my bed and smelling your skin. I miss you so much. In this world there is only one thing that matters to me and it’s your happiness. I can’t wait the day when we will actually enter a place that it’s ours. As I already said many times that will simply be the best day of my life . Buona notte tesoro mio🐒🐽❤ [6/23/18, 04:35:42] Captain P.: I love you every minute, come visit me in my dreams process [6/23/18, 04:35:49] Captain P.: Princess [6/23/18, 11:20:31] YL: Hi [6/24/18, 05:15:54] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you as always.. I had a stupid long day but I managed to bring the car to an open garage to get it fixed but Land Rover is closed till Monday morning. The thing is that we have free insurance cover in Italy so I think I might go back with just an easy solution!! Will see Monday I guesss. I wish you were here with me as always.. I can’t sleep properly without you. [6/24/18, 05:20:17] Captain P.: It’s hard to sleep alone after you sleep with someone for a while. I m dreaming about a roadtrip with you that never ends🐽🐒❤ [6/25/18, 03:15:24] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, tonight is the last nuit in the ville of Geneve!! I wish you were here pretty girl as abdullah’s sings in the song. You’re always my first thought and everywhere I look I see you beautiful presence. Soon we are going to be cruising the south of Italy together and that’s the dream that keeps my vanes floating with blood!!  Ti bacio tanto chica mia, tomorrow long drive for me with a broken window 🐽🐒❤ I hope you’ll visit me in my dreams. Sleep well my love. Buona notte principessa mia! [6/25/18, 07:50:39] YL: 🌹 [6/26/18, 00:56:57] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I know you’ll be visiting me tonight in my dreams. I want to sleep now so that I can meet you. I really need to see you very soon. Not becuase my love needs to see you in order to stay strong but because I’m honestly miss you to the point that I don’t care about anything around me besides thinking about the date we will meet in Rome. I can’t wait to see your face again and hear your voice close to my neck while I gently pass my fingers into your silky hairs. I want to book all the hotels and Airbnbs next days so that we are all good to go. Today is one of those days where I actually drove and did a lot of things but still I just received tons of insults form everywhere and tomorrow I will be working at the mountain house cutting grass and emptying the garage. I miss you dearly my potatohead. Can’t wait you to have the license so next time in Dubai I can just go out and drink while you drive us back home ahah! Buona notte tesoro mio, you are my best friend, sex symbol and only passion. Ti bacio tutta mia principessa❤🐒🐽 [6/26/18, 00:57:32] Captain P.: Ps: you look a bit like an Egyptian mummy [6/26/18, 00:57:43] Captain P.: A beautiful Egyptian mummy I mean [6/27/18, 01:30:00] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, as every day you are the last thing I think about because of this daily ritual of love notes. However you are also the first thing I think of and the amount of times during the day that I see you in my actions never decreases. Tonight is party night in trento.. there are fireworks everywhere and no sleeping night. The issue is that I don’t have next to me the person I love to share all this beauty. Egoistically speaking I thank the universe for bumping into you because otherwise I would have lost the opppotuinty of such strong, beautiful. I might have not loved this much in my life and this is also something that makes it great/m. In other words I fell so lucky to be next to you my potatohead. Sleep well and meet me in our deep dreams. I can’t wait to see you very soon my pot! Buona notte amore mio, un bacio grande tesoro. 🐽🐒❤ [6/28/18, 03:19:08] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, there isn’t a single day that I don’t think how life is amazing when you are around. I kind of can’t cope anymore with not being next to you. Thanks god soon we will be together again. I’m dying for touching your hairs and kissing your ears knowing that lots of days are there for us to be one entity again. I miss you deeply. I m leaving thinking of how we can have a shared life, house and time till the end of our time together. With you everything is just so much better, full of colours, food and happiness. I wish you were here in my bed sharing the same moon and stars. Buona notte amore mio. I love you with all my heart. Un bacio grande tesoro❤🐒🐽 [6/29/18, 11:16:27] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the way I miss you can’t be explained with words. I had a pizza for dinner and I bumped into edo and Charlie at the pizzeria and stayed with them. Edo is really crazy and living on his planet with a life on the edge of betting and drugs problems. Anyway will tell you tomorrow about his latest craziness. I wish you were here with me as always, in this comfortable bed playing with you legs into mine. I can’t wait to have you aside again. The need of kissing your eyes and touching your hairs is in my mind stronger than ever. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, I miss you dearly. Buona notte patatozza mia 🐽❤🐒 [6/30/18, 02:25:02] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m so happy and intrigued by the trip we ended up shaping. I can only count the days before some happy shared vacations!! I miss you profoundly every day and what I miss the most is to work for seeing a smile on that face. Looking at you smiling feeds my soul. Discovering the beauty of this life and world with you is the one thing keeping me thirsty of living. You are the source of my happiness. I love you. Un bacio grande patataz!🐽❤🐒come visit me in my dreams. Ps:Tomorrow I will be going at the lake and maybe go out a couple of hours with the boat. [7/2/18, 08:39:48] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I wish I could materialise there and prepare nice breakfast for you today before this stupid exam. I also wish you could be here with me all the time and cherish this world at the same longitude and latitude. I wish things were different and I can’t wait The dreamed day when we will live under our own roof. I love you desperately and there is no one I want to have aside beside you. You are my angel pathead [7/2/18, 08:40:44] Captain P.: Last night my phone went off and I didn’t have the charger because sleepy mum was using it. I’m having breakfast now and going to the boat to catch some Strong morning wind hopefully [7/2/18, 08:41:31] Captain P.: I wish you best of Luck with those Assholes !! I’m sure you’ll Rock!!! Tanti bAci per la [7/4/18, 00:34:30] Captain P.: Dear my sweet potato, I’m in love with you because you are a free spirit always bringing a bright aurea of love around you. You always find something interesting for us to think and speculate on. I can sees this glimpse of light that I’m so lucky to share everyday. I will always be yours and I think of you every moment. I can’t wait to wake up at night and find you next to me instead. I miss the time that I can just pull my arm and find you next to me breathing’s sleeping softly. Un bacio grande potatohead! Buona notte tesoro mio, ❤🐒🐽 have a great time acing your exam my potatohead. I love you [7/6/18, 01:17:03] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, as always I’m missing you like a lover misses the beloved one. I’m thinking of you all the time and I can’t wait to see you again. I have this feeling that i would drive till Dubai nostop just to come and ring at your bell and destroy your door and get into your room [7/6/18, 01:20:02] Captain P.: I miss you deeply my patata and your papaya as well.. I hope you’re having fun and that life is being gentle with you. I m thrilled for the day when everyday we will be sharing some time together, I miss having you around all the time. Un bacio grande mia patatozza [7/6/18, 01:20:47] Captain P.: Buona notte amore mio🐽🐒❤ have fun and stay safe [7/7/18, 03:16:01] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I can change place, bed and company but I will always be missing you like water in the desert. Every beauty I see around I wish I could share it with you and dream about it with you my only love. Here at Matteo’s food is good and weather is chilly but really good for Sleeping. His friends are funny and everything is fine, only you missing. Buona notte patatozza mia. I live waiting the moment I can hug you again and feel my soul aside me again. Un bacio grande tesoro. Sleep well and visit me in my dreams sweatheart. With love❤🐒🐽 [7/8/18, 04:17:27] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, i want to eat all the possible different dishes we are going to find around our trip. I could go anywhere, yet I would never cherish any moments if you are not there next to me. I miss you everyday and each day the fever to see you increases drastically!! I feel the same vibe as before taiwan or after Mauritius.. the feeling might be less unpredictable but the fierce of homesickness is the same and I wish I could see you tonight. Un bacio grande patata mia, master your exam! I’m sure it’s going to be an easy one. Come visit me in my dreams. The magic with you never ends and the fire if love I hold for you won’t ever extinguish. Buona notte tesoro🐒🐽❤ [7/9/18, 02:10:21] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, it’s crazy how from today we can finally say “see you next week” this is music to my ears. This is the kind of hope that keeps me breathing and wishing for a long shared life. Without you everything is meaningless and I wouldn’t even be here probably. I miss you profoundly in every single minute. There is no day that passes without me being crazily in love with you and I think god you all the time. Also I’m happy for your license, so proud to see you mastering all your things smoothly and being strong and independent. I love you my patata, let’s never grow apart or let stupid distance disrupt our relationship. Love is more than that. Buona notte amore mio🐽🐒❤un bacio grande tesoro. [7/10/18, 01:30:56] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, during this year and a half of relationship I might have understood a bit better what is love. I came to the conclusion love is about rewinding your priorities for the other and also to Listen more what the other have to say. I always wish the best for you. I can only think of good and new treatments for you. I want you to be happy and serene and healthy more than what I would Want for my self. With you aside I’m much stronger and ready to work towards any goal. You are my strength, Home and love. I can’t wait to visit museums, eat good food and stay at the seaside with my princess. I’m not even sure this is really about to start. My summer is waiting that joyful day of holiday when I’ll be hugging you in Aureliano’s city. Un bacio grande patata mia, I love you. Buona notte tesoro!!! Visit Me in my dreams❤🐒🐽 [7/11/18, 01:55:30] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, soon we will both be packing for The dreamed adventure, however what I’m really looking for is the journey in our souls. I want always to be the one close to your beautiful soul and nurture my mind with your bright atmosphere. I can’t wait to see you, hug you and hold your hand in mine again. You are my one and only love. The princess I want always to spend my time with and the only sentient being capable of making me feel alive, happily alive. If I was asked what is worth living for I would say it is worth for the love, the love I feel for you. Un bacio grande patatozza mia. I love you with all my heart. Buona notte tesoro❤🐒🐽 [7/12/18, 01:53:15] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I said a lot about us, the future and the wishes. Today I simply want to remember once again how I felt in Paris. Oh Paris in that winter has been something unbelievable. I’ve never been so alive in my entire life. I’ve never been so full of love in my existence. Those days were fed with passion, love and kindness. Anyway even now every time I’m with you I can be as happy and feel the strength of love running fast trough my vanes. Let’s never let something stop us from feeling such a strong emotion. My head is always spinning with you and I never want to stop flying. I love you patata mia. Un bacio grande tesoro. Buona notte principessa. Visit me in my deepest dreams. 🐒🐽❤ [7/14/18, 02:56:54] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my primary thought and my only soul fodder. I miss you dearly, however the fact that we will be soon hugging eachother again is something providing me a crazy amount of strength. I would like to be in a tropical forest on top of a try in a nice tent with you just chilling talking shit and looking at the moon. Oh what does the moon do everyday up there? I wonder that sometimes and I think I believe it’s a bit like us. I am now your moon while you sleep I think about you and dream about you and you actually live inside me. Anyway, good night my princess, sooner than we think we will be eating matriciana with Aureliano. Un bacio grande patatozza mia. I love you. 🐒❤🐽 [8/13/18, 08:32:25] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, here we go again, another trip together and another goodbye. I’m reading your very first love note and my heart is bumping and my eyes shiny. I feel the same love, passion, thrill and drive as the very first day. No matter what, the way you make me feel will always be the only thing I look for in life. There are no career goals, academic accomplishments, or whatever success is simply vane without you by my side. I will work to have you next to me as soon as possible because every night without you is a loss which I’ll never forgive to this life. I’m now boarding and ready to fly. See you soon love of my life. Stay safe and strong. I’ll stay hungry and foolish as always about us. Ti amo. Bacio patatahead. Will text when in milan [8/15/18, 00:53:31] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I really hate not sleeping with you and especially not being John lennoning on you as always. I miss you so much and especially all the small little things we became used to in our routine. I’m just so glad Holland is giving us this incredible opportunity and I can’t wait that to become a realty. Me and you living together in our very first room or house is something that excites me so much. I’m sure we will be having an amazing life and I just want to decorate everything and live in beauty with you. I honey if you knew how much I wish you were here with me dreaming about this.. anyways.. this hope is the fire that gets me going and I know by experience we fear nothing and nothing can be between us. We are strong enough to make this happen smoothly. I love you principessa🐽🐒❤buona notte amore mio. Sleep tight and come visit me in my dreams. Un bacio tesoro [8/16/18, 00:43:47] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I'm so glad you're my little girl and I'm telling about you to all the world. I hope your sweet heart is still the same as the Sputnik one.. the very first love story we ever embed in our imaginary. Do you remember? Who would have imagine we would have gone so far.. The days with you are always a dream and the adventures are never enough. I found it funny how we always manage to have something to say to eachother how I would never be bored with you aside. It’s incredible to me. In these months I learned some tips about love with you and I think there are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. Thank you for being my balance, to make me push to the limit. I love so much Pathead. We are the proof that, in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make. I came to Taipei and than a circular love started to boost in our heart that we are still witnessing the power.  I can’t wait to be together in Holland starting this new crazy chapter. Just another one for many more to come. Good luck tomorrow at work pat. You’ll be amazing as always. Un bacio grande my love🐒 you are my princess bocca d'orata. 🐽❤ [8/17/18, 01:19:09] Captain P.: Love of my life, as usual I would only love to be with you and rather be anywhere else. We just finished loading everything. It has been a hell of a long day and now all is done and almost ready to go. I can’t wait for you to be in Holland with me chersing alll the time. I miss you dearly and I dream of your silky hair floating in my hands even if you now hate that habit my lovely Pathead: un bacio grande. Sleep tight and come visit me In my dreams. I love you honey🐽🐒❤ [8/17/18, 08:53:44] Captain P.: Pathead [8/17/18, 09:06:32] Captain P.: Oh you sleeping Pathead..what a Pathead How was last night love? I miss you crazily love. Did you decide something? [8/18/18, 04:39:11] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are the only one I miss every time and in anyplace. Doesn’t matter if today I arrive in this city or any other one.. it will always be a deficit not to have you aside to feel nurtured by our incredible love. You make me feel in a way that no place or situation will ever make me feel: I think we are just so lucky. I feel I found a treasure with you and I never wanna let it go. You are my fire and only desire. I wish you were here cherishing this new begin and seeing the place where I’ll have to survive for the next months. I’m waiting for you to be here ASAP, to join me and see new places together. I love you deeply and always. Good night love, sleep tight and come visit me in my dreams. I hope I’ll see you tonight. Un bacio grande tesoro. Always, ❤🐒🐽 [8/19/18, 02:45:32] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I am sleeping without you once again and I really hate sleeping alone, without you. The vibes here are great but I miss my lady, My friend and princess! I would rather live with you than in this place. I think when you come I want to have a different place if this doesn’t work out properly. But anyways the thing is that I can’t wait for having you aside me everyday. Un bacio grande tesoro. I really wish you were here already❤🐒🐽I love you! Buona notte tesoro [8/20/18, 02:24:00] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I don’t know if you’ll be visiting or not but the only happiness I can think about right now is you and your sweet smile. I can’t wait to hug you.. as always and I wish you were here with me seeing how easy is to turn a shitty room in a nice place. I would need your entirior design skills now that the framework is finished. Please come and add some things. I miss you honey. The thing is that I don’t want to live without you. I think about you all the time. Un bacio grande bocca d’orata. Soon I’ll also add my posters.. so that we have a similar picture in our rooms. Tomorrow is long day in Amsterdam.. living at 7:30pm Wageningen [8/28/18, 01:18:56] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hate this saparation of bodies. I don’t like being away from you. I’m watching a documentary on Palau Right now and of course I’m thinking about you. I want to go there with you. Anyways the point is that we need to live together soon becuase I don’t want to not live with you for much longer. As you are I am amazed about our relationship and love... no one, and I stress it., no one can understand how we feel. No one will ever know of all my trips, of the hours spent on a plane just to come and spend some time with you and the same works for you. I miss you so much love. We are for sure a miracle and making so much love around us. Ti amo molto, un bacio grande tesoro mio. Buona notte patata. I miss you so much my princess. Can’t wait to meet you in London alreay🐽❤🐒 [8/29/18, 03:02:30] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I love this world and life only becuase I can count on your smile, voice, soul and there is nothing else I am interested in. I don’t know what my life would be if I didn’t fell in love with you. I can’t wait to meet you in London and I only dream about our life, our home, our future. My patata you are everything. This love is giving me everyday the energy I need to push this existence over. I love you tesoro. I need to get you very soon in Holland and spend more time with the love of my life. Un bacio grande principessa mia. I dream of you now in my bed alone. Visit me in my dreams and talk me gently. Always yours ❤🐒🐽 [8/30/18, 00:11:48] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, here we go again going to bed on different mattresss !! Thanks god we will be living together soon becuase this situation has a deadline and we can dream about our shared life with a real attitude. I can’t wait and I can’t wait to go over all the steps and do mistakes and Argue and be happy all over again. Please stay away from that man JL becuase I can’t think about anyone touching you. I miss you deeply everyday and very millimillimilllimilli second my love. Un bacio grande tesoro. Sleep tight with teddies and come visit in my dreams❤🐒🐽 you are my light and my desire. Always [8/31/18, 03:10:50] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I love you to the infinite and I cannot wait for the time when we will be sharing all the time together. You’re my soulmate and my life partner. I am happy only when you’re there and of your smile I live. I love deeply and I’ll always will my patatahead. Un bacio grande and come visit me in my dreams please. Loads of love from the lake. Buona notte tesoro 🐒❤🐽 [9/1/18, 01:46:32] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I love you everyday as if it was the first one and I always keep the excitement as if it could be the last one. I can’t live without you and you are my entire world. I’m getting everyday more excited about the reality that soon we will be sleeping every single night onto the same mattress. I can’t wait that day to come and I’m so glad in 3 weeks ill be in London with you cherishing some good dining. I miss you deeply and I always think about you. Tonight after dinner dad did some green tea.. for us and nonna that you took. I love you honey. Thank you for being my princess. Un  bacio grande. Buona notte amore. Tomorrow I fly at 8 am. Have fun at the party [9/2/18, 04:05:27] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, another day without pathead as you say.. feels like I miss some parts of my body. I need you next to me all the time and I love when we can just have our days talking and living of one another. I finished painting my room, ha d a sandwich and chilled with the housemates [9/2/18, 04:07:22] Captain P.: Everything would me so much better if you’d be with me. But I don’t live in pain, I’m only dreaming how happpy I’ll be. I send you all my love sweetheart. Un bacio grande patata❤🐽🐒 [9/2/18, 22:48:17] YL: The thing is you are already smoking too much that you don’t care about me. I wish you would sleep in loneliness after a long day tonight and the rest of the week [9/2/18, 22:54:13] ‎You left [9/3/18, 01:41:07] ‎Captain P. added you [9/3/18, 13:33:04] Captain P.: Morning patatozza!! I miss you honey. Let’s talk later. Un bacione [9/3/18, 13:52:12] YL: I’m still upset [9/3/18, 13:52:23] YL: So I deleted my Instagram pat [9/3/18, 13:52:33] YL: Can you unblock yourself on my Instagram [9/3/18, 13:52:43] YL: You can log in via your phone [9/3/18, 13:52:45] YL: Thanks [9/3/18, 13:52:53] YL: Oh and I deactivated my Facebook [9/3/18, 13:52:58] YL: I was so upset pat [9/3/18, 13:53:01] YL: I still am [9/3/18, 13:53:05] YL: But I miss you a bit [9/3/18, 13:53:16] YL: And tonight I’m going out late for dinner [9/3/18, 14:02:13] Captain P.: Oh pat.. what a Pathead. I’m still so sad about it.. but I love you with all my heart. Will talk after dinner or when you can. I’m buying study books and getting bank account and I contacted the IND. [9/3/18, 14:02:30] Captain P.: Bacio pat [9/4/18, 02:03:03] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you cannot imagine what I feel when I see your smile. The sun enters in my body. I can predict the moments of your small laughter sometimes and I feel proud. You are everything and I wish we could be sharing all the time at our disposal together. I miss our routine. My Pathead, can’t wait to see you in London and also in my dreams tonight golden mouth. Un bacio grande tesoro! [9/4/18, 02:11:43] Captain P.: Waking up early tomorrow and see how’s real life her is. Sleep tight pat [9/5/18, 01:39:39] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, it’s always a strong emotion to hear your voice. I feel the butterflies flying in my stomach and everything feels less numb. Colours are vivid and light is strong. I miss you my potozzz so much. I would just love cuddling on my couch here with you and enjoying all the life together. I hope this will really become our shared dream becuase I donated my heart to you and you’ll always have it. I send you all my love and I can’t wait to go dining in London with you having a break from this hippie community. I love you immensely. Buona notte amore mio. Un bacio grande tesoro❤🐒🐽 [9/6/18, 03:16:29] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, tonight I miss you becuase I want your warm body next to me to feel the heartbeat of a lover. I miss touching your hairs and talking about our universe. Anyways I think I should just book an appointment and go to Rotterdam at tHe immigration office. Will see when they respond to the email. But that’s the best alternative. I want us just to be together the sooner. So at this looooong house meeting we basically decided to ask to change the floor (the current one really sucks) and the house-party date which il be the 9th of November ! They all seem like they are doing routing organising this things. I guess I can’t still really understand what’s going on here. Potato’s mia I can’t wait tohave you again in my arms and screw you gently. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Buona notte pat 🐒❤🐽 [9/7/18, 03:39:40] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, sometimes I feel like you don’t understand how much I love you. I love you to the infinity my glacticos pat. You are my only dream and song of life [9/7/18, 03:39:40] Captain P.: I can’t think of anything if not you whenever I breath [9/7/18, 03:39:40] Captain P.: The thing is that you are the love of my life and there is nothing i want more than living my life with you my princess. The time walking the roads together and living the existence in the same contingency is such a luck. I wish only the best. Ti amo tanto patata mia. Sleep well and visit me in these crazy dreams🐒❤🐽 [9/8/18, 05:58:18] Captain P.: Dear patata, there is nothing I of how things are going. I love us and I think I’m so happy of having you aside me more than ever. You give me the happiness, the dose of sunshine I need right now. As always but more than always I would love to be there tonight, under bed sheets together. I miss you Pathead, oh how I miss the times when travelling together, packing unpacking and eating around. I wish that could be our lives. Don’t think about the nose so much pat, we will check it and it’s nothing really bad. We will manage to see what it is anyway. Buona notte amorrr mio❤🐽🐒i fall asleep thinking about golden mouth and the stories of us around the space. Dormi bene tesoro. Un bacio pat [9/9/18, 02:58:45] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are the reason I like to live my life and for being on this planet. Without you I wouldn’t know my name, my means and my future. With you I always feel upper in a state of serenity of fluid existence of time. I will never love anyone else and I’m so eager to live this life together than I cannot wait to be done with this studies already. My sweet potato you are my angel and dream. I hope your nose will be better soon and that we can get our registered partnership sooner. Honey more than ever this first week made me understand how once again the only thing that matters is love and where your beloved ones are. We both live away from our main affections (family) and also apart one another. Let’s try to get at least the both of us together under one roof so that our hearts can finally be full everyday and our soul satisfied. Un bacio grande patata mia. Enjoy work as much as you can tomorrow and eat well my love. Buona notte tesoro. I love you with all my heart🐒❤🐽 [9/10/18, 00:35:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the night that I met you already that day a spark of your light entered in my body and crack my love code. I’m so happy everyday to see your face and it always make me feel I just wanna love your soul. I’m so proud of our reality of the means we create to still manage to keep such a precious fragile love. Soon enough we will be able to nurture our heart directly by standing next to each other everyday honey. You are my source of happiness and pride. I feel lucky and alive thanks to you. Stay strong bunny tomorrow, then she’ll be gone and no witch will be there to stop you. Un bacio grande patata, i love you❤🐽🐒 [9/11/18, 01:14:39] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the reason why breath lays in your heart. I am always in need of feeling satisfied by this love. It makes me feel much more alive and involved and capable of seeing colours I would have never seen. I’m happy we are still here together and planning other voyages!! I miss having you around and talking about anything and being any pile of shit. I miss us. Also I am happy about seeing you in London so soon. I can’t wait to hag you. We can officialy celebrate Phoenix  departure with a proper drink in few days. Be strong pat, and sleep tight. Un bacio grande tesoro. I always think about you and the moon when I fall asleep. Buona notte 🐒❤🐽 [9/14/18, 11:20:56] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m feeling homesick. I feel like I could die because my other half is not here with me. I think since you came Visit me in trentino again my love became bigger, if this is even possible. I miss you ever since more and I never have enough.. I’m always willing to get tickets and visit you.. sometimes I. Just wonder on Skyscanner for Half hours. Anyways, beside that.. what I really miss is your giraffe neck, the sexiest neck I’ve ever seen in my life..I felt in love with you for you ability to talk to me differently by opening a new world into my heart. You managed to show me some unknowable ceilings of expression. Let’s never stop teaching each other new perspective of love: I learnt so much with you my sweet goldenmouth. With your soul and way of communicating you built in me the paradigm of a bond which doesn’t know what convenience, circumstances or boredom are. We became what we became: best friends? Soul mates? Sex buddies or admirers? I feel we became an indivisible duo even admirable if possible. Us being an incredible miracle of compromise, trust and efforts to take the best out of the other for the sake of a common vision. In the name of a dream which if only whispered could be blown. With all that in mind I think I will never get used to the pain of distance, however what I know firmly is that you’ll always have a person to count on, and that person even in 20 Years will be me. Buona notte principessa mia, I send you all of my love and I hope you’ll visit me tonight in my deep dreams. I love you pat. Un bacio grande tesoro mio❤🐒🐽 [9/15/18, 04:37:41] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, it’s not always easy to understand the other but what holds me to us is the immense love I feel for you and even when everything looks like falling I know I have my spark of light into this world of happiness, serenity and passion. I love you honey no matter what and I always wish for us to be glowing together for the rest of our time. I don’t want my fire to ever stop burning so hard in my heart and this strength never to leave my body. I’m missing you so much these days and I can’t wait to see you pathead in London going around for food and beauty. My Sputnik lady I dream of you with open eyes all the day.  I send you all my love princess, soon we will be kissing each other again. Un bacio grande patatozza. 🐽❤🐒 [9/16/18, 01:55:40] Captain P.: Dear love I’m back home I love you so much [9/16/18, 01:58:56] Captain P.: My dear love you are my fire and only desire. [9/16/18, 01:59:07] Captain P.: I can’t stand life when you’re not there [9/16/18, 02:19:02] Captain P.: Honey bunny I’m back home and sleeping for a productive day tomorrow. I miss you deeply Mia principessa. Un bacio grande. Sleep tight and stay strong mio amore. I love you🐒❤🐽 [9/17/18, 01:21:33] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, no matter what we will have always our real, pure love in our hands. No obstacle is for us an issue and we will be chasing our dream together as always and getting stronger. I’m so happy to know I’ll get to see you very soon. I feel good. The week starts for me tomorrow and it will be very quick Thursday my patata. Also excited about a city than I never really lived at a decent age. My principessa I love you beyond imagination for reasons that sometimes are also hard to realise my self. My life, the energy I have are devoted to us in means I sometimes don’t feel anymore. Buona notte patata mia❤🐽🐒 ti bacio tesoro, sleep tight [9/18/18, 03:29:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I deeply love you. I have only you on my mind. I both wanna cry for how much I miss and laugh about how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you. You’re such an amazing pat and what matters to me is only us. I can’t wait to see you pat and to talk patlanguage 24h again honey. You’re my life. You’re working hard this days but soon a small sweet break is coming. I hope tonight you find sometime to visit me while We sleep. I wish I could remember those dreams yet only thought of us together makes me happy. Ti bacio tesoro mio, always🐒❤🐽 buona notte piccola [9/19/18, 01:13:11] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hope you’re sleeping safely and smoothly right now. I just got back after the thesis track panel session which was interesting. Tomorrow you’re flying off London pat, I will think about you those 6 hours and wish I was there flying with you. Anyhow soon we’ll be together so I just try not to think about time. Un bacio grande mia patatozza. I miss your skin and sweet figure. Buona notte tesoro mio, 🐒❤🐽 [9/20/18, 03:15:53] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m so happy to know you’re one step closer to me. I’m so glad I’m seeing you tomorrow and I can love you again face to face. I can’t wait to touch your hairs and hear your voice without the buffer of the microphone. I still think every time how our love is so precious delicate and beautiful as an early spring flower. You’re my life and reason to be alive. Oh love if you could only feel how my body feels when I think about you. I wish we could exchange personality and let you feel my love. My one patata you are just like a sunshine in my life, supporting entity and sweet soul, un bacio grande patata mia. I’ll see you later today. It’s unbelievable to say this. Buona notte tesoro, sleep Well and enjoy your day tomorrow 🐒❤🐽 [9/25/18, 00:46:41] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, as a mirage our londinese weekend is now blurring away. Just like and injection of happiness your presence made me energetic and excited about life once again. Even sick I was able to enjoy the world thanks to you and our love. With you I discovered new places, feelings and food of course. Love of my life, I’m so proud of us, I’m so in love with our love story that I don’t need anything else to feed my soul with. Now a long period of separation is coming yet I face it with a big smile and with the security of a promised serenity and joint future ahead. I miss you so much already and there is no other person I want to stay with for the rest of my life. I can’t wait to be done studying and provide food for us and live under the same roof. Only than my life will have a sense and I will be able to call my self a satisfyed being. Thank you for being who you are and thanks to the fate for putting us together. Stay strong and safe bunny. Text me when home. I’m so glad I happened to open my heart to yours and viceversa. We are so lucky. Ti amo amore mio. Pasta la vista pat🐒❤🐽buona notte tesoro mio. Sleep well and do take the time to visit me in your dreams. I’ll be there waiting. Un bacione [9/26/18, 01:03:13] Captain P.: Dear love of my life your face is so damn beautiful I can’t stop thinking about it. You’re my sun, my power and only desire. When I see you I feel the thrill of butterflies in my stomach dancing for an early spring. Thank you for loving me and for being such a pathead honey. I love you and I’ll never stop. The more I push it the more I like it and this addiction is so positive that no one can argue about it. I hope you went back all good and that life will treat you gently till next time. Ti amo patatozza, good night honey. Sleep well and come visit me as always, loads of kisses for you pat🐒❤🐽 [9/27/18, 02:51:52] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I wish you were here with me going to bed on the same mattress. I miss you deeply and I just think life is too short to be separated from The one we love. This means we really need to keep as an imperative to live together soon becuase I simply don’t want to be far one another. The dinner here was good and I have so much food left that I think I won’t be cooking for a while. Also a lot of hummus, which makes me very happy pat. Un bacio grande patata mia. Sleep tight and come visit me. Wherever I look I can only see your eyes. Buona notte tesoro❤🐽🐒 [9/28/18, 02:58:17] Captain P.: Dear love of my life I’m finally in bed and going to sleep. You have no idea how I wish I could snuggle into your bedsheets right now and follow asleep John lennoing you. I hope you had a nice dinner with jav and I want to know everything about his walking buddy. I miss you dearly and I can’t think of anything better than you. You are my dream and only desire. No matter how many people I can meet, no matter how many stories I can hear and learn you are and always be my only sunshine. I love you badly honey. Sleep well and visit me in my dreams. Can’t wait to Skype with you soon Pathead ... oh what a Pathead. I miss so much talking patlanguage. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Stay safe and let’s work to get you here the soonest. I’m Sick and tired of not having you always with me. Buona notte amore mio. Always yours and faithfully, Captain P.🐽❤🐒 [9/29/18, 04:03:51] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, no I didn’t go to any party I just stayed in and being talking with Philip and Judith the entire evening. They’re a funny couple and weird in many ways as everyone. I miss you in a complete different way than usual these days pathead. I miss the comfort I have with you, the nudity I can wear when only with you. I mainly miss our intimacy and this is something I never used to miss. Oh honey bunny how I wish we could live together as of tomorrow and not have to wait to all of this stupid procedure. How I wish you were here with me now in this precise moment in time just to hug and kiss gently. Un bacio grande patata mia. Sleep tight and drop into my dreams. I need you everyday as much as I need light pat. Buona notte tesoro🐽🐒❤ [10/1/18, 01:36:32] Captain P.: Babe I just got back home. Such a long day. I’m dead and the dinner was very good but a bit overpriced. I guess is normal in Amsterdam. Dear love of my life, I really can’t wait to be always together. I don’t like my life if you not around. I can’t handle staying away from you for such a long time. You are the happiness of my life and the real sunshine of the day. I miss you dearly honey. In the end im gonna travel tomorrow early at 7:20 with the train and go directly to uni. Un bacio grande love. Hope we can call properly tomorrow. Ti amo❤🐒🐽 [10/1/18, 08:29:09] YL: Morning pat [10/1/18, 08:29:16] YL: Are you marrying me yet [10/2/18, 00:47:19] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I wish one day very soon we will be able to be always together when the other one is sick. I would love to have you around tonight that I feel feverish and unprotected. I love how we can just dream about our future with no boundaries and restrains. I would follow you anywhere pat. I can’t wait to get married and live with you. I miss you dearly today. I truly do and it hurts to be here alone. Anyhow I hope you’re having sweet dreams and you find time to come visit me in tonight’s dreams. We are an amazing flower still in its spring and this love is the most important thing of this world, arät least for me! Ill see you tonight. Un bacio patatozza. Buona notte amore mio❤🐒🐽 [10/3/18, 00:26:39] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, as always I struggle with this reality of not having you next to me. I hate it and I want to change this quickly. I cannot wait to see you, touch you, screw around with you and have fun. I simply wanna live my life with you and I don’t get the metrics whic are not allowing our dream to come true. I don’t believe this is just a fire for the prohibited flower we are growing. I know this is just deep and whatever it is,.. oh well is the only way I can live my life. Nothing is interesting if you are not in the picture and nothing is useful if it’s not a tool to get closer or make it better. The means I m living are towards our common future and nothin g else. I send you all my love and I hope you feel the warmth of my affection and sexual attraction to you as well. Sleep tight and visit me. I truly hope this dreams makes us closer and stronger. Un bacio grande patata, ti amo🐽🐒❤ [10/4/18, 01:15:12] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I had so much fun today during our call. I believe I cannot have this amount of fun in an entire week here in Wageningen. You’re such an amazing being and I can only love you in my life. You are a pure flower I can only admire. I’m so happy I have my ticket to come visit You and I can’t wait to go eat DTF when with you. I miss you dearly every day more and more pat and I just want to start living our shared life no respect to the means we need to take. Sometimes I feel this burden given by the circumstances but then I always think how life is one and we have this amazing love and how stupid would it be to let anything, literally anything work against us. I can’t wait to see you and touch you again honey. Un bacio grande patatozza. Goood night my miracle worker. Sleep well and come visit me as always. Buona notte tesoro🐽❤🐒 [10/5/18, 02:16:54] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, how nice it would be if I could have you in my arms right now. I really miss sleeping together and waking up together. I miss walking around the world with you and finding new places. You’re my sunshine and reason of being. My face gets smiling when I think of eating DTF with you very soon. Un bacio grande mia patatozza ❤🐽🐒sleep tight in your warm blanket and visit me in the deepest rooms of our minds. Buona notte tesoro [10/6/18, 03:26:00] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are stardust and energy. You are my flowering love which keeps me breathing happily everyday. I only wish the best for you and strive to see you and hold you in my arms. I can’t wait to get married and spend all the time with an egghead partner. The affection I hold For you is unbelievable and time getting me more and more Into this love that I could have imagined for. I miss your smell, I miss how we can forget about the world Together because I do not fear anything when with you. Un bacio grande tesoro Mio. I hope you’ll manage to go sailing and I can’t count the minutes remaining for eating dtf with you Sputnik sweetheart. If I think about our sec in nyon I want to cry and go back then, touch you and feel your body on mine in such a pure way once again. Sleep tight pat, I wi always love you honey. Un bacio grande🐽❤🐒 [10/7/18, 00:28:40] Captain P.: Love you sweetheart [10/7/18, 05:08:23] Captain P.: Dear love, sweetheart and sexy chica I always feel enchanted by your soul. I feel the world would be unreal without you. I’m often recalling all our story and always happy about everything. I love remembering about our memories and dream about the ones yet to come. I’m glad you had a wonderful experience pat today and wish you were here with me falling aspleep together. I had a beer with Louy and got home quite early but then I started watching movies and end up very late. Un bacio grande patatozza, sleep tight and visit me in the unbelievable dreamlike. Love you tesoro mio, buona notte❤🐒🐽 [10/8/18, 00:40:59] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are becoming my new family and this transition is happening in a way that I would have never expected. Our love is becoming the underlying live-motive of our lives and it’s always there making things looking happier just because of its existence. I’m grateful we choose to walk the journey of life together. It’s such an incredible life the one I can live next to you. Un bacio grande mio unico grande amore. Sleep tight and visit me in the world of glass of dreams. Buona notte pata mia🐒❤🐽 [10/9/18, 02:30:05] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, my world is full of stars thanks to you. The light aura around you provides the brightness to see the world under a better light. I love you so deeply that the feelings get physical and emotions are surfing the skin. I couldn’t imagine anything bad happening to you and I stand next to you for life. Un bacio grande patatozza, come visit me tonight. Buona notte tesoro, I wish we could always sleep together. 🐒❤🐽 [10/10/18, 01:56:45] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, my life here is fee and nice, however I’m always missing that fundamental comfort of having you. You’re not just a treat for my eyes but also a cure for my heart and a painkiller to my soul. I don’t know what I would do without you and I can imagine my existence without talking pat language all the time. This games, this game of love are the most interesting aspects of relationship making everything so familiar. We are building the pillars of our relationship these days ad I’m so glad we are both strong, resilient to change and highly adaptive. I want to explore the world with you honey. Un bacio grande patata. Let me know everything about your nose tomorrow tesoro mio. Buona notte amore🐒❤🐽 [10/11/18, 01:33:32] Captain P.: Dear patata, there is nothing I regret of how things are going. I love us and I think I’m so happy of having you aside me more than ever. I need you like I need water or oxygen. You are my life. You give me the happiness, the dose of sunshine I need in my everyday. As always but more than always I would love to be there tonight, under bed sheets together. I miss you Pathead, oh how I miss the times when dining together, packing unpacking and wondering around the all the places of this world. I wish we could just be together and travel. Hopefully will fix the together thing first and then also the travel part honey.Hate kash for taking away my dose of Pathead tonight. Buona notte amorrr mio❤🐽🐒i fall asleep thinking about golden mouth and the stories of us around the space. Dormi bene tesoro. Un bacio pat, come visit me in the night. [10/12/18, 02:43:20] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hope you’re sleeping sweet dreams in your nice eye mask. I would give anything to have you here with me right now. My love for you is strong as ever and I miss you all the day Pathead. I wish I could stroll around Dubai with you and have nice food. I anyway hope your nose get better soon babe becuase I just want us to stay health and have more time to spend together. Un bacio grande mia patata, sleep tight and come in the stream of dreams to make a visit. 🐽❤🐒 [10/13/18, 09:29:10] Captain P.: Dear love of my life,  I simply miss you like waterfalls r in the dessert all the time, just like juice for a men that didn’t drink [10/13/18, 09:29:22] Captain P.: Amore my love note didn’t go [10/13/18, 09:29:39] Captain P.: Im awake already [10/13/18, 09:33:44] Captain P.: Honey pat how I wish in this warm morning I could have you in my arms pat [10/13/18, 22:54:44] Captain P.: I miss you my love. You can’t imagine [10/14/18, 00:11:42] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, a day without you is a sad day. You are the light I need every single Day and I am just thrilled about our future. I can’t wait to see my potatohead soon and my only dream Is to be with you forever. I hope you’re having sweet dreams pat. We ate at home and just watching a movie. I send you all my love and come visit me in the dreams❤🐒🐽 [10/14/18, 00:13:43] Captain P.: Babe I wish you were here. I can wait to be in Dubai with you [10/15/18, 00:57:12] Captain P.: Dear pat of my life. Oh I meant dear love of my life. As always distance is a shitty pain and I miss you so much. I’m always thinking about you and how things would be if I could spend my free time rather then with anyone else. Im dying to come and to spend time with you. I need to see you and breath your smell and talk patlanguage honey. I love you so much that I would repropose every year till we die. Can’t imagine how happy I’ll be the day where we actually have shared roof above our heads and all nights will be in the same bed. Un bacio grande patata mia❤🐒🐽 I love you my princess. I’ll fall asleep dreaming of you [10/16/18, 02:34:08] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, my joy comes only when I see your face bad talk with my beautiful princess. I think this love has an energy that everyday surprises me incredibly for its tremendous tenancy. It’s amazing how the fire wouldn’t die, no matter what. Anyways I praise our love always in different ways, yet the facets that it can get are infinite and this is possibly why it endures❤🐒🐽buona notte patata mia. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your forehead. Un bacio grande tesoro. Sleep tight and pay me a visit during tonight’s dream. [10/17/18, 03:46:46] Captain P.: Dear love of my life and beyond, I need an extra life to fully enjoy our love. Or maybe even more. You are the companion I want to spend my whole existence and I want to share the same bed every night, the same sky and roof. I miss your smooth skin onto mine and you running around and being scremy and crazy under the shower. These days I miss you more than ever and there is nothing I can do about it. My potatoz a and pathead I want to kiss all your body first thing I do when I see you when I arrive. Buona notte principessa mia❤🐒🐽have an excursion in my dreams tonight. [10/18/18, 08:16:18] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, my pat and favourite turtle girl! I remember the day that I decided to travel to Taiwan. I can’t express how I felt but somehow I didn’t have any choice I could only pay a visit to the girl of my life. Since then my thirst for seeing you has only increased and brought us to the extraordinary journey of travellling to keep up our love . I think part of because I’m in love is also thanks for our mood when we travel together. I love travelling with my Pathead. Un bacio grande babe.. ti amo tesoro mio grande. Stay strong another day so you can get some relax this weekend. Buona notte principessa ❤🐒🐽 [10/18/18, 08:17:05] Captain P.: Morning silly pat ! Felt asleep with the phone on my face [10/18/18, 08:17:33] Captain P.: Super hot phone next to me all night. Super stupid [10/19/18, 01:55:14] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I wish I could fly every day to you just to give one big kiss on your forehead and I would already be happy. You’re the source of my happiness and energy. You are the driver of my life and I’m so glad it ended up being like this. I envision us always in multiple scenarios and hardly I can think depressively about something because if we are together nothing is scary nor dark. Distance is a shit enemy but we are fighting it with success. I cannot wait to be in Dubai with you and stroll from restaurant to reastaurant. Buona notte patatozza❤🐽🐒sleep well and wish me good luck tomorrow. I love you [10/20/18, 01:45:14] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, sometimes I feel so grateful for living in the Skype era. Watching a movie and seeing your sleepy face next to it makes everything look more interesting. I would like to come to Dubai and stay forever and just sleep under the same piece of 10m2 of sky. Can’t wait to be there very soon patata❤🐒🐽 buona notte principessa. Never forget to visit me in night’s dreams. Un bacio patata mia [10/20/18, 23:50:48] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, these days I would really like to have you close and touch your smooth skin. I’m a bit stressed for these exams because I don’t know what to expect and if I know enough. Anyways will see how it goes and hopefully I’ll manage to survive. Hope you’re sleeping right now and that your head is light and freeriding wonderful dreams. My only love, I could never live on this planet in this time frame with you by my side. I want to cry for how much I miss you. I miss everything even the most annoying things. I would love to sneak under the bed sheets with you right now or host you in my room. I can’t think about my self without you pat. I love you to the fullest. Sleep well and visit me principessa mia❤🐒🐽un bacio grande tesoro. [10/22/18, 02:20:32] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, there will be no night without a love note. I don’t know what going to bed means without thinking of you and hitting down few love lines. I would love to have you here by my side for these couple of days ahead and just penetrate you and also get some sweet lovin. Can’t wait to get this as hopefully my post exam gift and whatever will happen nothing can be that bad since I still have you. I still can count on his love that keeps the fire burning inside my soul. I send you love and I wish you a good sleep. You’re also working a lot my miracle worker. Don’t forget to eat healthy and treat your self good. We need to live 2 lives and enjoy every single moment together. Always❤🐒🐽 [10/23/18, 01:17:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life my only potata and favourite turtle girl, I am without breath just like life without oxygen when you’re not around. I’m always like to look at our picture, think of you and pray for our reunions to get longer and less sporadic. I just dream with open eyes everyday about our shared journey of life and how I am feeling comfortable with you being my pata companion. Sleep well tesoro mio, I wish you were here with me. Can’t wait to pamper you sooon sweetheart, buona notte stella❤🐒🐽 [10/24/18, 01:32:41] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are the only one I miss every time and in anyplace. If I’m the Earth you’re my sun, the only real source of energy and most amazing star. Doesn’t matter if today I live in Wageningen or in any other place..it will always be a deficit not to have you aside to feel nurtured by our incredible love. You make me feel in a way that no place or situation will ever make me feel: I think we are just so lucky. I feel I found a treasure with you and I never wanna let it go. You are my fire and only desire. I wish you were here in this bed with me patata. Life would simply be uplifted to the amazing level we have when together. I love you deeply and always. Good night love, sleep tight and come visit me in my dreams. I hope I’ll see you tonight. Un bacio grande tesoro. Always, ❤🐒🐽 [10/25/18, 02:54:00] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, it is always incredible how I talk about people about you and I realise more and more how much I am in love with you my Pathead. I don’t wanna live apart much longer and I will do everything to find a way for us to be together everyday. This year will fly quicker than we think and then everything will change and take a clear path. I can’t wait to be sleeping under the same set of starts and share the same oxygen with my favourite turtle girl 🐢. Next week this time I’ll be packing and getting ready to see my princess. I can’t wait for that to be reality again. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. I love you aLways and for ever❤🐒🐽 [10/26/18, 02:35:09] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I will always be happy to read love notes and to make love in all possible ways for you. Your face is my happiness. You have no idea how much I miss you and how happy I’ll be when with you again. Un bacio grande mia unica principessa. I love you sweetheart 🐽🐒❤sleep tight and come see me in the world of dreams [10/27/18, 02:38:06] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, tonight the moon is full and the Air is cold, I miss you dearly: I wish we could see all of that together. I can’t wait to be in your bed next week and cuddle all the time. Un bacio grande tesoro mio❤🐒🐽 tonight is a short love note also because my phone is out of battery but my heart and mind is always full of you. [10/28/18, 01:49:02] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I actually know you don’t hate me. But anyways I’m always thinking of you and always scared of a world without my Pathead. I guess it’s one of the way my brain has to keep the love burining without giving me all the safety net. The thrill is keeping me alive and strong. Babe, I love you deeply and I can’t wait to see you being stupid live very soon. Seeing your face and you joking around and being the pathead you are. When you flip your eyes or smile forcing your teeth to squeeze while doing weird sounds. I felt in love with all the odd part of you and I will never stop having my heart pumping my blod stream in function of this reality of love we created. I’m missing you all the time and everywhere I look I your eyes. I wish you were here sleeping with me and hugging and dry hump you just to laugh and being silly together. How much I miss you? I like to think more than any other lover on this planet. Buona notte principessa. Stay safe for other 5 days and then will be sharing some reality together. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. You’re my turtle girl and only happiness ❤🐒🐽 [10/29/18, 02:03:26] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the immidiate days before seeing you are always those that I like less because always living them as non existing. I want to push them away and speed up time so I tend to think everything happens faster. Anyways I love you badly and the thrill to see pathead is always the thrill and highlight of my soul. Seams far and like a dream but few months ago we had a marvellous trip and I can still remember the smell of sea at that seafood restaurant after your sunglasses fight. Such incredible days and we have many more ahead waiting to be lived. I wanna go slow so that this life with you can last longer with its enjoyment. Buona notte amore miio, sleep tight principessa. Soon enough you’ll be in my arms. Un bacio tesoro mio❤🐒🐽 [10/30/18, 02:56:03] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, going to be bed without you is always a pain. I’m now in bed, fisically dead after playing football. I can’t wait for the day when the routine is going to be always end hugging you at night. When that day come I’ll feel powerful and fulfilled. Your the trigger of my life and heart filler. My patatozza I’m super ready to give you some love and kissing you all. Un bacio grande principessa, sleep well and now that you’re dreaming I will try to merge in the flow of them. Buona notte tesoro mio🐽🐒❤love you [10/31/18, 01:24:39] Captain P.: I’m super dead today and going to bed. I’m sorry I’ve been not very present today but it was such a long day and couldn’t look at the phone so much [10/31/18, 01:28:46] Captain P.: You are my only star my Pathead. I wanna cry and be joyful for how much I love you and how much you mean to me [10/31/18, 01:28:56] Captain P.: Redress my teddy pat [10/31/18, 02:32:05] Captain P.: Oh pat, I felt asleep with the phone on my face again. I love you my sweet love, can’t wait to see you and smell your porfume❤🐒🐽 [10/31/18, 08:44:11] YL: Oh pat [10/31/18, 08:54:03] YL: Morning pat [10/31/18, 08:54:11] YL: I love you [11/1/18, 02:10:23] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, dear pathead and only princess I want to have. Tomorrow I’m gonna feel alive again seeing you after ages. I can already feel the thrill and the butterfly in my stomach. Passing trough ataturk will be my usual toy time before coming and see you. I can’t wait for our dinners and our moments. These next days I don’t wanna do anything beside seeing your face and touching your skin. Can’t wait to fall asleep with you in just 24h. I’m so glad to technology for allowing us this luxury and I want to work just in the direction of us living in the same house very soon. My love, you can’t imagine how much I miss you and my sentiment right now. I can’t even fall asleep even if I’m super tired and tomorrow such a long day. Un bacio grande mio amore❤🐽🐒 see you soon my turtle girl. Buona notte tesoro, sleep tight [11/8/18, 03:09:47] Captain P.: So we had an emergency landing pat.. one of the scariest shit I ever did. Long story short.. now I will sleep in Oslo and tomorrow plane at 7pm.. stupid vauchers for nothing food and staying  at a hotel next to airport. Very cold here [11/8/18, 03:10:52] Captain P.: I made friendship with an American guy from LA and a Spanish dude. Drinking a beer now and going to bed, I love you honey: this will give me an almost free ticket to see you again so I think it’s worth it. Un bacio grande mynobly love❤🐒🐽 [11/9/18, 04:24:43] Captain P.: Love of my life, as always is sad not to be together and the time of love notes is back on me. I miss you dearly every second not being able to kiss my favourite egg head on the planet. Every day with you is a gift and I’m so proud of us, going trough everything and taking care of eachother like never before. I feel we are strong I feel like I could go in war and not talk for ages but nothing could ever change becuase im bonded to your soul forever and there is nothing that makes me stronger or that could make me more fond. You’re going to see your most beloved ones and I’m super excited for you. It’s time instead for me to work hard and get back on a proper track. I send you all my love and keep me posted with your journey honey. Ti amo. Try to rest and think of me🐽🐒❤ un bacio grande Teodoro mio. Buona notte principessa [11/11/18, 12:09:24] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, i miss you as always. Nothing can be fully happy in my life without you colouring it with your crazy voice and wonderful presence. Yesterday was such a crazy party, we had more then 500 people coming over during the entire night. The party revenue is more than a thousand and anyway it was nice. Not very nice cleaning up shit today tho. Anyways I’m just super tired and I need to get a bit of stability right now. How’s everything in New York, what did you do today and what did you eat? Let me know everything. I can’t wait to talk to you on the phone again. Hearing your voice is what keeps my heart beating and my soul serene. I am glad you arrived where you are loved and pampered even if I can’t be the one taking care of you. I’m also jealous because I would give everything to be in New York with you and go around restaurants and explore the wilderness of the nature in the states. This will happen later on in our lives! Buona notte amore mio, I was sleeping when you called. Wish you sweet dreams. Un bacio grande patatozza mia❤🐒🐽you my only happiness [11/12/18, 12:30:38] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I drream of you these days in the big New York roads and moving from one place to the other. I keep on visioning you around and taking your moves to do the things you do. I can only imagine how beautiful it must be being back with the pregnant sister and knowing this holiday just kicked off. Here is gloomy and rainy again. I’m back on track with full schedule again and thinking of really dropping the job. I can’t deliver very reliable shifts and I think it might be worth just to concentrate on my studies.. I Always over take things I cannot fulfil and this was one of it but it was worth the journey and I got to know a bit more of what is out there anyways. Besides that tonight I have another house interview. Not stressing it too much as we know how this lottery is really something unpredictable here in Wageningen. Anyways is a house in the city centre and I also wanna see it actually before feeling comfortable moving there. I hope all is good with sister and that today you also enjoy your working schedule Pathead. Sure it’s more exciting than going to the office. Let me know what you do, how your are and the weather. I miss you dearly and my bones are asking to the other set of bones that are missing when I sleep. All my body, soul and heart is missing you. Un bacio grande patata [11/13/18, 13:31:52] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you looked so beautiful during our call yesterday and I’m saying to see your cute face very soon. I need to kiss your egghead pat you’ve ni idea how much I miss your egg forehead actually which sounds wired but I really got affectionate to that part of your body too. I’m happy you are there being busy and happy to explore that stimulating environment. You’re lucky pat and also jealous of you going out and eating well. I rally want to go to new York soon with you. Anyways my pat I hope you’re now poop empty and sleeping like a kiddo in the guest room. I wish I could sneak in there and avoid this stupid distance. I miss you dearly love, un bacio grande patatozza. I hope you get my intereferenxe of love in you dream stream. Buona notte principessa❤🐒🐽 [11/14/18, 13:31:18] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my guiding star into a universe where everything is unclear, chaotic and complex. You are the one bright light I always look at when I feel lost in the ocean. Amore you have no clue what you mean to me, how great is the ideal I hold for your person. I feel enlighted to be lucky enough to stand next such a resilient individual, strong, funny and beautiful. There is an aura of trascendent perfection fluctuating around you and this is thanks to our love. When I don’t know how to decodificate things around me I think about our love and how everything is easy when I hold to that power. I could rework the entire world when the energy of love flows into my vanes. I also miss your body and you smile and the most simple things such as laying together in bed with eyemasks and talk about the day ahead. I miss you deeply principessa mia. Un bacio grande patatozza. Sleep tight now in your bed and keep on being the beautiful flower I love [11/15/18, 13:59:17] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, my love and only patata you are my soul. I miss you crazy in these busy and frosty days in the Netherlands. My mind is fully occupied with new topics and challenging excercises. I’m really struggling being on top of all these classes and material. The only thing I think of when I go home is your face and how I would love to be pampered by you at home, at our home. I can’t wait this to be a reality and I also can’t wait to sign a paper that states we can live and work in the same fucking country when earth is just a piece of soil with normative borders. I send you all my love and I hope you’re enjoying your NY days with family. Be careful on the train and at the station love. I know you’ll find the platform and always be perfect as you are. Ti amo. I love you and never no one else. Un bacio grande principessa❤🐒🐽 [11/18/18, 13:32:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, these days I can only dream with open eyes to rember how your beauty looks like. I can’t wait to hug and hold you in my arms again. Patata, tonight I go to bed again here at the dormitory and I can only think of you under the snow in newyork with that yellow jacket. I miss you immensely and I’m here wondering how happy and beautiful things will be when our family will also start the journey of a shared life. Days are passing by quicker than expected and life is still keeping us together. I wish you were here and I want to kiss your egghead. Un bacio grande my love. Im now sleeping hoping to melt in your dreams when you’ll do so later as well. Buona notte principessa❤🐒🐽 [11/19/18, 14:29:58] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, tonight is a lucky night. One more sentient being is now out there to enrich our lives. I’m sure this little creature will turn out to be a great gift for all of us. How amazing is the life cycle you assisted and marvellous family situation for you guys there. Anyways.. one day we might also experience this incredible thing. Hope you won’t be to jealous of this creature pathead ahahha I know you’ll steal all the food and gifts already. What a stupid pat you are. I love you babe and these days missing you like crazy. I wish I was there! Un bacio grande auntie Golden Mounth. Big kisses for you my princess. Un bacio grande e buona notte patata mia🐽🐒❤always with love. [11/19/18, 14:30:22] Captain P.: Ps: for the first time I heard someone else’s than you saying anywho [11/20/18, 13:28:47] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, long days for you there and I can only imagine the emotions you are going trough by holding carter and seeing how fragile and precious that little creature is. Everything is ready for him in this life. Anyways for me the homesickness if my Pathead does not change and I can’t wait to touch you, see you, have you around and smell your perfume. I wish we could already live together because going home every night and not sleeping with you nor finding you is really something I miss. Ti amo patata mia, sleep well and enjoy newyork frosty air. Can’t wait to be on ski slopes with you and eat some buttery gnocchi. Un bacio amore mio. Stay safe, you are the most important thing. Buona notte pat [11/21/18, 11:35:10] Captain P.: Dead love of my life, hearing your voice and looking at your beautiful face even for a quick glance is what keeps me strong in these days. I always think how would I live this life without you. It is impossibile. No one is like you out there and no one will ever have the same spot in my heart. You are my fire and only desire. You are the one that help me see the light in this world. Love is the only answer to understand and support life for the time being and your companionship is the best gift the fate has ever served me. Oh babe I miss you desperately some times. I think of Paris, I think of pulir with nostalgia and happiness. Our days in Roma at the museum in the outskirts and driving all the way to Naples. I would give anything now to rewind and be there again with you. Un bacio grande tesoro mio, sleep well and stay safe. Buona notte principessa mia. I can’t wait to be in the cold snowy Trentino with you sooner than I can realise❤🐒🐽 [11/22/18, 11:02:17] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I always always think of you. I see you face and hear your voice inside me. This inner presence keep me striving for my life and dream about our future. As always you’re the only thing that keeps me going in these busy and cold days of November. The pace here is something I never experienced. Classes are really tough, long and full of material. I’m learning a lot of concrete and technical knowledge which I hope will make the difference. I’m also meeting a lot of people and making friendship with those that are more like minded. I would like to make you meet all my friends here and then also to see how an amazing person I can proudly say I have beside me. Anyways I hope you got some rest and that the doggo is feeling better. Let me know what you do and how was boxing and the weather. Ti amo mia stella. Sleep tight and hopefully my alterego will visit you in the dreams. Un bacio grande patatozza❤🐒🐽 [11/23/18, 14:21:39] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, it was nice seeing your face in a toilet talking to me. I always feel the same thrill, the same butterfly effect in my brain and the energy this love gives me to push the limits for a shared life is something I’ll always be lost in. I’m just so happy and grateful to the cosmos for meeting you that whatever karma will give me ilm always be in debt. I hope to see you soon and to only get to breath the same air with the same rooftop on our heads very soon. Loads of things are going on in both our lives and I wish we could tell More About it to eachother. I want to know and share everything. Anyways sleep well my princess, try to also rest in this vacation becuase till now you profused a lot of energies as well. Un bacio grande amore mio, ti amo🐒❤🐽 tonight I’ll see grandma [11/24/18, 13:48:56] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you dearly and even with eye beauty mask for me you are the most beautiful princess. Hope you’re sleeping well and that you are maximising your momentum in New York. I love you patata, sleep tight and dream of us. Can’t wait to see you my patata❤🐒🐽 ‎ [11/25/18, 14:50:27] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I hope you dream of me and move like ruby pat !! I need to see your face and hear your voice. I miss you dearly my only princess. I can be anywhere but I think of you all the time. I wish you could be here with me visiting the national museum pat. I miss living with you next to me. I miss you hairs and your egg head. Pat I need to talk patlanguage and hear your voice whispering into my ears. I can’t wait to live with you babe [11/25/18, 15:26:42] Captain P.: My only patata I want to sleep in the same bed forever and I want to get the papers from Taipei. Can’t wait to have a post signing marriage dinner pat and to show you around Wageningen and my friends. Even if these days communication is slow my love doesn’t experience an inch of decrease. I love you deeply and forever. Rise and shine principessa mia. Un bacio grande tesoro❤🐒🐽 [11/26/18, 16:11:03] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, another week without you and another busy week. This morning I moved all my staff from the dormitory place and moved it to my old house and this week I’ll be a bit sleeping with luck. A guy in my new house (which I will get next Monday) is letting me sleep in his room since he sleeps at his girlfriend place most of the time. But he might need the room a night or two and un that case I will sleep on marghe’s sofa. Anyways I’m all sorted just a bit annoying to keep on moving around! Finally next Monday I’ll be in a permanent nice room. My patata I miss you deeply and wildly. I want to penetrate you and at the same time kiss all your forehead 2000000 times. I hope all is good in New York and I’m always dreaming about the time when we will be exploring that city together. Un bacio grande principessa🐽🐒❤ let’s try to talk today. Buona notte and sleeep tight love [11/27/18, 10:17:51] Captain P.: Still annoyed you keep me blocked on Facebook [11/27/18, 10:17:59] Captain P.: I tried to go there this morning [11/27/18, 10:18:05] Captain P.: And I’m still blocked [11/27/18, 10:18:22] YL: It’s lovely ❤️❤️❤️❤️ [11/27/18, 10:18:54] Captain P.: Eh ma porco dio pat [11/27/18, 13:19:13] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I foundry imagine to experience the strength of our love in days where it’s presence is lessen. This experiment is the proof that distance will never fill in the gap, at least on my side, of boredom and loneliness. For me you are my only one in life and I m not interested in exploring anything on this planet if it’s not something I can replicate with you or next to you. I have a list of so many places I want to visit with you babe. I just want in 2019 to get the chance to live together and stop this amzing love note editing. I love you deeply my Pathead, Soon we are hitting the 2 years, yet I look at the next 20 with thirst for love and thrive for life thanks to your presence. I love you my pat, stay safe and take good care. I can’t wait to hug you again. Un bacio grande principessa.❤🐒🐽today I don’t have afternoon class so maybe we can have a decent call [11/28/18, 11:43:34] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the strength of our love and the maturity of our relationship is a gift That makes me proud to be alive every day. Amore mio last night before going to bed I watched the marriage video I sent you yesterday and besides all this pshicjological castles I truly believe we know what the other think before speaking and even when not we tell eachother how we feel. It might happen sometimes to be late in telling eschother how to adjust but the truth is also that there isn’t much to adjust and our love right now makes us see only the beauty of us. Thank you for being my lover and team member. I’m so happy to have you and to hold on to us. Un bacio grande principessa, sleep tight and have sweet dreams. I can’t wait to have my room and be stable again. I’m already in the library since 8. I really want to ace this period and have some nice winter vacation. Buona notte ancora patatozza. Bacioni❤🐒🐽 [11/29/18, 02:51:47] YL: Love, so I’ve got Intouch with a Taiwanese girl who got married in Netherlands. After she got all her document in Taiwan, they made an appointment with INd at Stadhius. At that meeting the person will check if all is good, if all is good we will have to wait for them to send us a approval letter, which then we can go online to make an appointment for marriage. [11/29/18, 02:52:11] YL: I really got to think everything through, when is it the best time to quit, how do I tell my family, etc. [11/29/18, 02:52:42] YL: Odile and Ron asked me to come visit them during summer, I think it will be a great opportunity for you to meet them then. [11/29/18, 02:53:05] YL: Either way, I know these days have been hard, but I love you so much. We will get through all of this. [11/29/18, 02:54:34] YL: I know we both want this to be done ASAP, but perhaps with some money saved we can then have more flexibility to move around together. So perhaps the next few months, I’ll need to start saving more. [11/29/18, 02:54:38] YL: I love you love. [11/29/18, 02:57:48] YL: We have been together for two years, with your study coming to an end next year, I am more certain in order for us to go to the next stage of our relationship is to live together, we just need to make sure each of our steps are the best ones so we don’t stumble upon situations that makes our lives and relationship harder. [11/29/18, 02:58:10] YL: Buona notte anore, please let’s talk soon x ❤️ [11/29/18, 03:06:24] Captain P.: Ti amo, let’s take some good time to talk about this. [11/29/18, 13:34:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I know I say this very often and therefore it looses significance but today I actually really think I’ve never been more in control of my mental ability and limits. I know the frames I have at my disposal to understand reality and I know I don’t know which are some that I’m missing. I think you compensate the frame I am missing, you show me my limits by hitting it at the right time. We care for eachother and we take decisions together as a family. Without you I’m just a useless sentient being going around. When I’m with you I feel accomplished, in the end also love is an egoist act but at least is an egoist act that implies the happiness of others, this is better. This is just an articulated way to say once again that I love you bunny🐽🐒❤ sleep tight and take precautions for your flue. Un bacio grande amore mio. Buona notte principessa [11/30/18, 12:18:53] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, not always is easy to be distant, not always love is the thing you expected to be. However I want to explore all its possible facets with you and I see the world in the meantime. How amazing is this journey when you share it with such a perfect being. I love you my stupid Pathead. Enjoy last days in New York and pamper carter and the dogs. Be healthy and eat well. I can’t wait to see you whenever that it’ll be. Till then I’ll keep on dreaming about golden mouth and her adventures. Un bacio grande patatozza. Buona notte primcipessa🐒🐽❤ [12/1/18, 12:31:40] Captain P.: Buonanotte pat! I love honeybee, I just stayed home getting to know my housemates because one of them was having a birthday party [12/1/18, 12:32:17] Captain P.: I was texting this and I felt asleep typing it [12/1/18, 12:32:38] Captain P.: I always end up with the phone next to my head. Not good [12/1/18, 14:25:47] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you immensnly, can’t wait now that you go back to Dubai to have proper calls and see your face everyday at least on the phone. These days are being dense and lonely without you. I know that our love is powerful enough and I know we will see eachother very soon. I want to talk about everything and go trough all you did in New York that I still don’t know. What time are you leaving pat or you’re ditching everything and staying there? Are you ready? Did you pack? You have no idea ho strong is the homesickness in certain moments. I feel your egghead in my arms and can see all the perfection of your skin in my eyes. I miss your touching your hairs and feeling your body on mine. I love you always my patata, call me before taking off. Ti amo🐽❤🐒 [12/2/18, 05:06:21] Captain P.: Patata mia, this is the day when two years ago we first entered into intimacy with eachother. I love you so much my bunny. I would give everything to be again in that night and have sex for the first time in a sweet way. Travelling to Paris and staritinf this journey again I would give my life to start all over again. [12/2/18, 05:49:30] YL: Love [12/2/18, 05:49:36] YL: I’m at the airport [12/2/18, 05:49:43] YL: Happy 2 year lovie [12/2/18, 13:18:20] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, 2 years, 3 years or more? Time is just something we decided sitting at a table. I feel like our soul are connected on a different level not really following time and space restrictions. The moment we looked at each others eyes in Paris I understood there was something more, we were so caring for eachother and kind of afraid of hurting eachother., oh how romantic that days were. Even though now we fart and burp the relationship has not loosen its romance and we keep it going everyday with our love, trust, and respect for the other one. I wish us other hundreds years of love and years like those. Stay safe during your trip pat and get back to Dubai all in one piece. I love you principessa mia❤🐽🐒 un bacio grande [12/3/18, 09:44:22] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you’re back from a long vacation and also became an auntie. Being back to routine won’t change the amaZing days you had and the pillow is there to remember you these amazing days. I’m so glad you had some family time even if I wanted to be there as well. Thanks good I’m slowly also becoming part of family and with time we all will be one. Anyways I miss you silky hair, and I’m was your hair fan much earlier than that hairdresser. I miss your nose and egg head. I want to kiss you all and touch you beautiful skin. I can’t wait to see you and to be back to normal Skypecall. Sleep well pat and get some rest. I love you principessa. Un bacio grande patatozza. Buona notte ❤🐒🐽finally today I will get into my room. [12/4/18, 02:58:20] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I worked till now and finally I’m done with moving in all my stufffff. The room already loooks much better than before and slowly is becoming home. How I wish you where here making this room even more my home. Well, hopefully soon I’ll be able to host you here and the bed is much better than the one we had in Geneva pat. My housemates are nice people and finally the place is kept clean and with order. I’m super happy. Only thing I’m missing is you my love. Hope you’re sleeping sweet dreams and I wish you best of luck tomorrow with going back to work. You’ll be fine my miracle worker. I love you deeply and always think of you. Un bacio grande patata mia🐒❤🐽 buona notte principessa [12/5/18, 04:30:45] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, these days are boring without you. Everyday is brining without you next to me. However at least these days are passing by quickly in the fast paste of life. Hopefully soon we will be able to slow down and spende time together. I want to pamper you and kiss you all. I want to pamper you and kiss you all. We will be going around the mountains back home soon pat. I can’t wait to eat some good food with you babe. Un bacio grande honey. I love you deeply and can only dream of you. Buona notte principessa🐒❤🐽 I love you [12/6/18, 03:42:03] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m in my bed, starting an episode of Baby and I wish I could do this with you. I can’t wait for you to visit me here in the Netherlands and have you in my room, show you around, make everyone see the marvellous person I share my intimacy with. I miss you dearly and weirdly enough everyone I talk to says something about Taiwan or recalling the facets of our love. I miss you dearly and I’m dying to see you very soon my pat. This life without you is meaningless and slowly but surely we will manage to find a way together. Our plan is getting prolonged but nothing is gone and maybe is a good idea to make all this also clear to our families and let them also cherish and praise our path. I don’t care much about their acknowledgments but I know they all probably deserve to be happy for us. Anyways these are just thoughts. The only thing that matters is us living togheter very soon Pathead. Un bacio grande. Send me a picture please or a vocal message. Buona notte principessa.❤🐒🐽 [12/8/18, 02:46:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, no day passes that I feel less involved in our love. I want to always be in love like that and spend my life with you. I can’t wait to seee you very very soon in the beautiful mountains of trentino. I also have to admit I miss home and the mountains this time. Dutch landscape is soo borning and repetitive. I miss you so much egghead and I can’t wait to have you around and sleep together on my amazing mattress. That is going to be booooming. Anyways I miss you hairs and your skin, I miss your warmth next to me. How i wish you were here with me pat. Un bacio grande amore mio. Sleep tight and visit me in my dreams. I love you primcipessa mia🐒❤🐽 [12/9/18, 01:47:43] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, i miss you so much and I’m becoming more and more excited for this winter days in Trentino with you. I want to do so many things, eat so much stuff and have a lot of sex. I don’t know, I feel like I’m a kid again and crazy for what’s coming. This is one of my happiest and most full year of my life. In 2018 i proposed to you, had my first business trip, started a master and now I’m preparing the file for the unep job thingy! No matter to the rest the best part is that you were standing beside me and I could cherish all this amazing life with the person I loved. You make me laugh, cry (yes..) and feel alive most importantly. I love you deeply my principessa. Buona notte. I wish you sweet and safe dreams. I’ll always be there for you tesoro🐒❤🐽 un bacio grande [12/10/18, 00:21:05] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m just counting the days to see you and be done with this crazy exam session. I want to relax and take some time for us to chill, eat well, breath good air and detox from technology as well. I can’t wait to be back in trentino and go hunt for some powder and have you also by my side. I wish I could pamper you now and have you here for this week full Of stress and work. I miss you dearly my potatohead. I would love to be back in muro leccese right now and go for a focaccia in Altamura tomorrow. O the bufala buttata was over the top there. Anyways, I’m in bed, brain dead and now watching some episodes. Tomorrow I’ll go to library at 8 in order to get a decent spot. Un bacio grande principessa: i love you. Sleep tight and have sweet dreams. 🐒❤🐽 [12/11/18, 02:29:49] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, why this separation of bodies is still pending on us. I hope paying this price everyday will soon end and to have you always with me. I can’t wait for that day to come and I can only dream about that. It’s gonna be the happiest day of my life. There is nothing I can do that makes me feel better than when I’m with you honey. I want to go eat some good trentino’s food with you and walk in the snow while pampering you and wasting some time. I’m so happy to see you very soon my love. The concert was nice and in a super cool theatre. Hopefully we will be going together around the Netherlands as well, for concerts and expositions. I love you all and deeply. I miss your hairs and smooth skin. Un bacio grande patata mia🐒❤🐽 sleep tight and visit me now that I fall as sleep too. Can’t wait to be with you my egghead. I want to kiss you all and never stop [12/12/18, 02:11:53] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you’re always in my heart and in my mind. It’s crazy the love I feel for you and how I would not know where to stand without you anymore. You are the other half of my soul and the source of all my energy. I’m simply out of my mind for seeing you super soon and talking patlanguage all the time with this egghead around me. I really wanna cuddle and pull your hairs while watching a movie. I hope this vibe between us never ends and that we will be in love for the rest of our lives. You’re everything my pat. Buona notte amore mio, sweet dreams.  Un bacio principessa 🐒❤🐽 [12/12/18, 23:49:08] Captain P.: He has a Dutch passport out of nothing [12/13/18, 01:13:09] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m so happy you’re coming to visit me that you have no idea. I can’t wait to see you and to spend all the time together again. This is crazy. My love for you is crazy and I sometimes still have to understand we are going to stay together forever my Pathead. Many years of love ahead and I’m excited about all that is yet to come with you. I love you deeply and I can’t wait to have you in my arms pat. Un bacio grande and sleep tight: tonight I go to bed happy knowing that la principessa is coming. Buona notte oatata🐒❤🐽 un bacio grande

[12/14/18, 00:23:36] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, turning 23 with you and having 3rd birthday with my pathead is so much better. With you I feel alive and loved. You’re my precious gift and nothing will change that even in the next 100 years. I can’t wait to see you and breath the same air, sleep under the same stars and look up at the same sun. Actually we do this but just from different location of the emu sphere so we need to align our latitudes Pathead. The point is that I miss you so much and that my existence would be boring, miserable and meaningless without an egghead to make it colourful and fun. Super soon we’re gonna be together and i hope we will be enjoying the mountain and nice weather in Trentino. Un bacio grande tesoro. Sleep tight and visit me in tonight’s dream. Buona notte principessa 🐒❤🐽 always [12/15/18, 05:12:07] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, in the past two years this love note was not written becuase we were always sleeping together. It’s my first time writing this love note ever since we met. As the past nights of the 14th of December I would love to have you here and touch you all, feel your body, smell your hairs and hug you in the warmth of somebed shits. I love you more than anything or anyone on this plant. I’m so happy to live this life the one you’re part of it and state of mind we have when we are together. I truly think this is the only love that matters and the only love I will ever have in my heart for the rest of my life. It’s very late for me now but I had a really nice night full of friends and cake. I can’t wait to show you all of this and my new friends to see my patatahead. Un bacio grande stellina🐒❤🐽 buona notte principessa [12/16/18, 00:13:58] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m already in bed dead and tired. I will watch something and fall asleep. These days would be simply a treat to have you when I get home. Because these days I don’t feel like seeing many humans but my patata would be an exemption. I miss you pat. Counting the days to see you in Milan and be cool kiddos together, pateam and lover. Visit in my dreams and sleep tight. Un bacio grande principessa. Buona notte ❤🐒🐽 [12/17/18, 00:39:26] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, 48 h and I’m gonna be freee no matter how these exams are gonna go. I’m only looking forward some chill vacation full of food, snow and patatahead. I can already smell the perfume of you hairs and feel the smoothness of your skin or the silky touch of your hairs in my hands. Can’t wait to be in Malpensa and hug you and not think about stupid Wageningen and diminishing marginal rates or measurements validity. Who cares about all this shit if I cannot even stay under the roof of the only person I love. No matter where this master will take me, we will be living together. This is just a paper what matters is what we have in or heads and the thrive in our hearts. I’ll move mountains and reshape oceans for us and I don’t need any knowledge for that becuase the power of love goes beyond any human expectation. I love you deeply honey. Sleep tight and think about me tomorrow, Maybe your wisdom and kindness will present as a guiding light while I tick multiple choice boxes. Buona notte principessa. ❤🐒🐽 [12/18/18, 01:40:09] Captain P.: Dear love f my life, you’re my promess of happiness, you’re my safety net and the woman I want to spend my life with. Honey I will never leave you, I will never betray you and unlike many I feel so lucky knowing we will be only one of the other for the rest of our lives. I believe the more the time passes the more I understand how profound is the promess we made to eachother on La mer beach in Dubai. Maybe time was not mature, probably our understanding was not full, however the sentiments were there strong and secure. I don’t regret having proposed in what might luck like a clumsy way, when everything was unsure, not properly thought. Reason is becuase I felt my heart was balanced, my soul found the other half completing where it lacks and letting complete where yours needs mine. I’m very tired now and these thoughts are just a stream of a heavy head but what is true and will always remain true is that I love you immensely. Un bacio grande patatozza. I can’t wait to see you in 10 days. Doesn’t seem possible that as of tomorrow the real count down can start.. -9 and just one number not to fat numbers anymore. Buona notte principessa ❤🐒🐽 now that I’m free and pimping for life, I’m glad we will be together in few days. Both traveling tomorrow and some how passing by the same airport at different times. Probably you’ll be in Milan 18 hours after I landed pat. Anyways  can’t imagine how you’re excited for New York as well. We are so lucky pat, this life gives us such an amazing treat and we will be together in the mountains again. Un bacio grande patata, i still have to pack and long day tomorrow. Send impressions about the chauffeur tomorrow evening don’t forget pat. Sleep tight my principessa. Visit me tonight 🐒❤🐽

[12/20/18, 03:47:05] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m so glad I’m finally home. I forgot how nice this house is and how good fruits tasted like. Just looking inside this fridge I feel so rich. Anyways I can’t wait you to be here soon pat we will have an amazing time in the mountains and we will get you on the slopes I’m so excited honey. Don’t worry I will dress you up like crazy. Anyways I miss you so much and I can’t wait to have you next to me in this amazing bed pat. Counting the days honey. Officially only a week my love. Have fun in New York and be gentle with carter. Looks like a cool kid already with those long hairs. I love you immensely principessa mia. Try to sleep on the plane and get some rest. Stay safe pat. Text me when you land🐒❤🐽un bacio grande, safe flight. ‎[12/20/18, 11:20:18] Captain P.: ‎image omitted [12/21/18, 11:16:57] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the world makes sense in its complexity to me only becuase I can rationalise it with the means of our love. Affection is the only answer and taking care of eachother is the beautiful aspect in a grey world where colors are visible only when under the light of love. Looking at Daniels and michis picture I got so homesick about our adventure in Paris and the days when we would take any transport method to see eachother and location was just a physical place where to express our love. Istambul was a tipping point when our long distance entered a new level. I rember me staring at the wall in that airbnb room while you departing towards Dubai once again. I really felt full of love and passion back then, but the fire is still the same. I love you Pathead. Miss you loads here. Happy you’re there with the doggos and carter the fat one. Un bacio grande patata. Sleep tight mia principessa and tesoro. 🐒❤🐽 [12/22/18, 01:50:21] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, a meaningful life is possible only when love is there. Amore im so excited to hug you very soon and kiss you all and have you in my arms. I’m dying to talk to you all the time and staying together all day. How much I miss you is crazy my love. I’m always looking at my future thinking when is the next time that I can see you and when we will be living together and how are we going to build our house and how we will live the amazing time that will be given to us. You are my star, My guiding light and hope in this world of strangers. You are my best friend and lovers ti amo amore mio. Babe have fun. I will try to fell asleep thinking of you so that hopefully I will dream about our adventures. I want to travel all the world with you principessa. Buona notte tesoro mio🐒🐽🐽❤ tomorrow is finally sking day for me and very soon for you too. Un bacione patata [12/23/18, 12:01:53] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I miss you like crazy my oatata. Days here are long and physically intesinve. I’m already at the second slope. Always the first to start when the slopes open. It’s cold now and writing love notes it’s already a bravery action. Will be on series today.. in a while another bit. Ti amo [12/23/18, 15:36:11] Captain P.: Dear patata finally im inside a hut and the phone is again on. I’m alone under the sky without you. I’m alone again tonight without you my princess. I wish every night was not alone and we will be working towards that, in the mean time I’m waiting the 27th as if it was Christmas. It’s my best gift my love. I hope your sleeping tight my pat and that family time is being good. Hope I can hear your voice at least for a sec later pat. Un bacio grande tesoro, stay safe my treasure🐒❤🐽 [12/24/18, 03:00:51] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m missing you like water in the desert. Where are you? I really need to see your beautiful face and kiss you all in 4 days. I’m dying of homesickness love. If I can recall the night in Oman when you were scared for the cockroach I was feeling blessed not to be scared and help you out my principessa. I miss you dearly touching your hair and face I can’t wait. Going to bed here love, good to be with family. Only problem is that to me you are my family now and I need to have you next to me otherwise I don’t feel home any longer. Can’t wait to screw you and pamper you and doing all things together once again. Un bacione grande patata❤🐒🐽 enjoy your evening. Send me pics and tell what you are up to. Ti amo patata [12/25/18, 02:17:57] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, days are passing by slowly without you next to me and I’m just counting every second. I m really suffering this separation and I truly need to find a way to speed up the process to be finally living together all the time. Anyways since it’s time I wish you, your mum odile and Ron a happy Christmas and also to fatass carter celebrating his first one and roxy and ruby as well. Are you walking the girls always?Soon we will be celebrating all our cristams together pat and one day also with our dog so you’ll love me more. I don’t even know why we need to stay away while we are so much in love, so silly all this need of building up to then have a maybe better opportunity. Anyway I will make this worth it by remembering this is time stolen to us. I love you honey, you are the best encounter and the person I love the most on this planet ever. The moment I will hug you in Malpensa I’m gonna feel home. No one ever made me feel like you do. I need to pamper you and touch your pategg and sleep together and talk patlanguage and go around the world together again. You’re so precious. This love is so precious. I love you deeply honey and miss you loads these days. Un bacione patatozza mia, have a nice evening and sleep tight principessa. Enjoy newyork tesoro. Buona notte🐒❤🐽 [12/26/18, 01:39:26] Captain P.: My patata, don’t be sad about that it was a stupid mistake of mine but nothing has never been truly behind that. You are my best friend, lover and only love forever. Trust this please and don’t ever doubt that [12/26/18, 01:40:14] Captain P.: I can’t wait to talk about everything and see you super soon [12/27/18, 03:04:09] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow pat. I’m super tired tonight, finally got home and tomorrow leaving at 8 with my train. I really want to pamper your head and go eat everything with you. Are you ready to fly? Be safe and stay good till tomorrow at 11:55 pat than I’ll take care of you [12/27/18, 03:04:20] Captain P.: I love you honey 🐒❤🐽 [12/27/18, 03:05:06] Captain P.: Just super dead now. Please don’t be late for the plane and try to get some rest. Un bacione grande mia principessa. Finally tomorrow I see you [1/6/19, 02:42:49] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, there is nothing more important than you in my life. The fulfilment of staying together and sharing time is the strongest form of existing I’ve ever experienced. The present is more precious than the past and creating love memories is what I want to do for life. I want to work to Foster our love and never stop exploring this world with you Pathead. I feel we are like a mountain flower so rare and fragile yet stronger than any low land rose. It’s amazing how our imperfection given the long distance, cultural back ground and life situation makes our love so beautiful, powerful and strong as headwinds. I miss you dearly already. I just want to live my life with you at home and always next to me. Un bacio grande mia principessa. I exist to live the next present of us together again. Buona notte amore mio🐒❤🐽 good luck with being back to work tomorrow. I love you [1/7/19, 02:47:44] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, princess and pathead I only want to stand beneath the firmament with you and stare at the stars forever. I hate that you wear such a sexy sleeping pigiama when not with me and I only dream of you tonight in this bed alone. I can’t wait for the day when this distance and love notes will just be a funny story, however at the same time I do not want time to pass because our love must live in eternity and also our bodies must be preserved in their freshness. We are two nearly blossomed flowers, approaching summer with strong petals. I want ya to be like this forever. If I could only stop time and live this present always I would. This joy and fierce of live I hold now is mostly thanks to you and our love and I will always be grateful for the strength you give me. I miss you dearly tesoro mio. You are mynprincess and I wish I could touch you and kiss your forehead now. Buona notte patata. Un bacio grande and visit me in my dreams honey🐒❤🐽 [1/8/19, 03:23:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you love me three thousands times? Than I love you 6 thounds. But the truth is that there is no scale is just a spectrum on a range and we are currently very close to the centre , to the perfect balance where there is no right or wrong, Black or white. Everything is balanced, in perfect equilibrium. We satisfy our need of love with the just perfect amount of kisses and mental satisfaction. How I  wish you were here in my arms now trying out and experiencing more this amazing sesnsion of what live love is. You are my princess and my star I will always be yours and I can’t wait for the moment when this distance will just be a funny memory. I love you my Pathead. Buona notte tesoro mio, sleep tight and visit me tonight. 🐒❤🐽ti bacio principessa mia [1/9/19, 00:45:20] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, how I wish you were here all the time to hear this love note voice all the time. I laugh so much with you and my life is joyful ever since I met you. You bring me happiness, harmony and give me the strength I need to survive the darkness of this world. I found the happiness to look at everything with passion, interest and care. Love is such an amazing endurance power and you are my hidden, unspoken force that works as a energiser. I love you immensely and I don’t know how I would be without my Pathead. Lover, princess, best friend, travel buddy, sex bomb and more. You are my person and the only one I wanna stare to the star with. Un bacio grande and come over visit me in my dreams. Sleep tight pat🐒❤🐽 buona notte tesoro mio [1/10/19, 00:37:59] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, there is no way people would ever understand our way of communicating. We are simply an example of what love is at its best. We can be serious and determined as much as silly and stupidly making fun of eachother varying from anyrange of age at anytime. That’s the beauty of it. Our love will keep us young, fearless but focus. I love you so much honey. I’m missing you like never before because every time I see you the bond gets bigger and I can’t deal with separation of bodies. I can’t wait to seee you again and touch your face, kiss you forehead and sleep together. Un bacio grande amore mio. Sleep tight and visit me in my dreams. Buona notte patata ❤🐒🐽 [1/11/19, 01:23:45] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, the existence of love is such a controversial topic becuase im so ignorant about it. I think we are immersed in this amazing dream of happiness affection and sexuality but I can’t imagine the spring of such a sweet nurturing spice of our live. But what I can say is that you are the one source I yield everyday and I feel like your golden mine will never stop offering me new pathways to find this crazy thirst of life. So maybe love is the thirst of living at its best and it’s coming from the human nature to life adaptation. Maybe it’s becoming to brainy but there must be a utilitarian aspect of love and it has to do with our prolonged presence on the plant. What matters is that o love you and I miss you immensely. Goodnight my Pathead. I live for touching you very soon. Un bacio grande tesoro mio. Buona notte principessa and please don’t forget to visit me in my dreams🐒❤🐽 [1/12/19, 02:58:56] Captain P.: Love of my life, never feel alone. I’m always with you and will always be. [1/12/19, 04:20:44] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, I’m finally home in my bed and you can’t imagine how I wish I could find you here next to me warming up the same blanckets and holding hands all night long. You are my star, my sunshine and moonlight in the nights darkness. There are no words to describe our love and you simply are my wonderful flower. I’m sorry if I made you feel as I forgot about my pathead today but it’s totally not the case. Whenever I go I see your eyes and everything I ralate to you thinking how you’d like or not like or speculating how you would react to so many things. You are part of my and you’ll always be with me becuase I won’t ever be able to see the world under a lens scope which doesn’t include you as a lovely filter. I would give everything to sneak in your room now and warmly hug you from behind and spoon you as always. Buona notte principessa. Sleep tight and stay safe. I love you to the pathead and back. Un bacio grande tesoro mio🐒❤🐽 always

[1/13/19, 04:33:21] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, everyday that passes without you next to me is lost. I miss you dearly and I would do anything to make you happy. You are my star and I don’t know you I am without you. You make my push the limits and see this world under a different light. You are my guiding light and life dream princess. Tonight I saw a movie called free solo, you should watch it as well. Made me really thirst of going for a big road trip in some nice natural place with you love. I can’t wait till every time vacations are gonna be with you in the nature. I want to travel the world with you honey. Un bacio grande. I will sleep with this dream and hopefully it will all become reality. Buona notte tesoro mio🐒❤🐽I love you [1/13/19, 08:58:51] YL: So tired pat [1/14/19, 01:31:11] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, there are days that long distance hits ya more than what we wish and some others that are gift to us with kindness and richness. Let’s focus on the fortune we have rather than what we are missing out on. We found eachother, we love eachother and against all the odds we manage to endure, to fight for one another and to fly to our beloved pat anytime there is an open window. Anywho I can’t wait to be in UAE with you and travel around or even just prepare dinner at home and wait for you, go to DTF and mealtop and this time there’s gonna be super nice weather hence we will hit the beach and the pool. My only love you are the sunshine of my life and the star of my solo nights. I love you dearly and I would never exchange the pain of the long distance with anything else rather than us. Be always healthy and safe. I don’t wanna live in a world where you are not there. Love is a crazy adventure and so far you are the one making me discover its beauty. Let’s never stop this. Un bacio grande e buona notte amore mio🐒��🐽 love you [1/15/19, 03:02:16] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my only potato and turtle girl and egg head and sexy beast. You’re my fire and only desire. I miss you dearly honey bunny. My life is for you and for us and I can’t wait to see you the soonest. My highlight of the day is when I see you and I can talk patlanguage with you and I love to see your face to be the source of your smile. I want always to look at the stars hand in hand I can’t wait to build a house soon with you and deepen our love story with a roof, a shared bed and one day a family. I love you my princess and this will never change. I’m so lucky to have you and glad to have meet you in the crazy Swiss period. Buona notte amore mio🐒❤🐽sleep tight and visit me. [1/16/19, 02:23:28] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you always bring life and happiness in my life. I’m so proud of you learning Italian, you’re so much stronger than me and always ready to take up a new challenge from square one with a smile on your face. I love you becuase you’re resources are infinite and you are to me a pandora box of stimuli which I would never find in any other existing being. Thank you for being my friend and lover and enduring in this difficult situation. Let’s stick together till the end of time. Ti bacio my beloved principessa and send you loads of bacioni. Buona notte stellina🐒🐽❤ visit me tonight please [1/17/19, 03:14:11] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my happiness. I don’t know how i would be able to smile without you. I don’t know what is life without you anymore. Thanks to you I manage to survive and breath every day in this gloomy weather. The thought of you somewhere walking on those sexy legs and keeping that bright running makes me feel alive, dizzy and alive. I can’t wait the day when we will be for real sharing the same bed every night and hold hands with the perspective of conducting a shared existenxenfor the rest of the time gifted to us. We only live once and we need to get this very soon. I’m thinking and working only towards that goal my pat. Un bacio grande mia unica principessa. My love for you is infinite. Buona nottte tesoro😘🐒❤ [1/18/19, 10:51:11] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, last night this message was all nice and written and then my phone switched off with 39% battery and I felt a spleen again while charging it. Nevertheless, new day new love note in my hands. I love you genuinely and for the good person you are. Also for your seriousness about things I care and bringing me to reality with some nice ideas about life and beliefs. I love you long legs and your elegant figure. I want to sleep with you for the rest of my life and feel your body on mine is the nicests thing that can happen to me. Soon the day is coming for us being unsaperdabke. It’s an invisible countdown and it’s working for us. Un bacio grande pat [1/19/19, 03:18:55] Captain P.: Dear love of my life, you are my princess and I could never live without you anymore. My pathead I can’t wait to see you in Dubai soon and being pampered at night with your presence and stand under the moon together again. Just have a stroll and being together again. The life you bring to me exiting and energetic. I’m also so proud of you pat being out there and win your steak every day. I’m Happy for you and admire you. Anyways lover and sunflower sleep well tonight tesoro. Come visit me in the under dreams🐒❤🐽 [1/19/19, 03:21:22] YL: Excuse me [1/19/19, 03:23:26] YL: Why did you turn your phone off pat [1/19/19, 11:34:15] Captain P.: Pat [1/19/19, 11:34:30] Captain P.: I always put flight mode at night

[vivalavidavodka]

Defining Frances

She almost found out about this tiny surprise a few days ago when she checked out my planner. Gladly, she did not see the part where I wrote “Appreciation post for Frances (tumblr)”; however she saw the part “tumblr post for tomorrow” on my to-do list which I immediately covered but I was too late. She even said, “Akala mo naman hindi nagno-notify posts mo sa ‘kin.” Joke’s on her, this post is for her.

I’m putting this post on queue since I’m writing this the week before her birthday and just to make sure that it would pop up on her notification window on time. I just really do hope that she turns on her data on her birthday lmao. If she’s currently reading this then today’s her birthday, turning 19. She’ll probably start her day preparing for a job interview in Pasay.

As I am writing this, I’m actually thinking if I should buy her a bottle of UFC banana ketchup since she *loves ketchup so much. If ever you would eat with her, you’ll definitely gonna notice an over-flowing ketchup on her plate especially if she’s eating rice with hotdog or fried chicken. Believe me, I want to buy her a bottle but I’m seriously broke right now. I'm ultimately broke to the point that I cannot buy a bottle of ketchup. Anyway, where was I? Ah. Ketchup. Yes, she definitely likes to eat but it makes me sad when she keeps herself eating from something just because she’s worried of what people would say about her body. I just wish she would realize how beautiful she looks like! No jokes, man. I’m telling you, this girl is amazingly pretty in different ways.

I also admire her computing skills when it comes to our major class, ticketing. Gosh, it’s one of the most complicated courses I’ve ever taken but it’s like an easy-peasy for her. How to be you po, ate? It’s just quite sad that she cannot see her edges sometimes when it comes to academics. Sometimes, challenges get in her nerves and sometimes she breaks down. I just wanna hug her every time she would cry. I know how it feels like when your brain fucks you up and takes forever to process a single information. I just wanna let her know that it's okay, and she's definitely good at everything she does. It's the Frances way I've always admired; she find ways.

Delicate like a flower; tough as a stone. She definitely have a soft heart in all ways. You could surprise her with the weirdest gift that you could think of and she would smile and turn giddy. First impression about her is always maarte (she knows it though) but the good thing is that she’s way more than that. She’s a strong lady and she’s definitely one of the strongest I’ve ever met. Nothing’s way more difficult than having a fight with yourself... for yourself. I really admire her for fighting and staying strong even sometimes (or most of the times) she feels like giving up. I just really wish that she never give up because she still have yet to see her beauty as a person and all the people who love her; and will love her. I cannot wait to sit in a coffee shop with her perhaps 5 years from now and talk about life and how great everything turned out. I love this girl so much. I just hope that she choose to live because there’s more for her to this life. She has yet to experience lots of beautiful things, she have yet to see the future; her future kids, and the life ahead her. There’s more for her to experience. I am faithful that she would hold on. I want her to stay strong not just for everybody who loves her but most importantly, for herself. She is worth it and I hope she realize it soon enough. Anyway, I’m confident that she would not leave people hanging, that’s not her. She never do that and that’s one of the best things about her.

She’s a walking paradox filled with thunderstorms in her head who have yet to see that she’s as beautiful as a sunset and have yet to appreciate the flowers that bloom in her heart. After the storm, the rainbow will soon appear and another day has to be faced with joy. I just really want her to be happy.

I love you, Ketch. Happy birthday.

Update: 27 March 2017, day before this message pops up. I never wanna hear you say that ever again. I love you. We love you. Please stay. You’ll get through this. You can win this battle. I believe in you, France. I will always believe in you.