#i also want them to think about other people! and read my body language better! or just know me well enough!
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#UGHHHHHH#my partner drives me fucking insane sometimes#he'll take a like half an hour shower and then spend another 20 minutes doing i dont even know#because he keeps the bathroom door closed#and he puts the towel over his shoulders like an old man??? instead of around his waist???? so its just dick out?#which is fine. do what you want! but its also not sexy behavior. and i feel like he always wants sex without creating the mood#like what are you doing to set the mood. apparently me being nude is enough for him but like that also bothers me?#in a way that like i dont want to be perceived. i dont want my body to be inherently sexual! i just want to exist!#im also though of the opinion that unless you need privacy in the bathroom you shouldnt close the door#mostly because its the ONLY bathroom#and yeah. i could ask! but im already very communicative and i dont always want to have to ask for things!#i also want them to think about other people! and read my body language better! or just know me well enough!#its frustrating because i am so attentive to other people's body language that when someone can't read mine or isn't trying to i feel so#misunderstood and like theyre not trying or they dont know me#which i KNOW is not rational and im working on it but FUCK#how can you not read body language!!! how can you not know these things about me after 5 years of dating!!!#vent#delete later
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When jjk characters call you ‘clingy’
Feat. crybaby-ish!reader
Gojo, geto, toji
Cw: hurt, guilt, angst (if you squint)
This is inspiration from a mini series i read a few days ago by user @fumekara. It was so good, I love me some angst to hurt/comfort.
But i also wrote this from personal experience too, my bad yall i treat this like my own personal diary
Anyway, enjoy!
Satoru Gojo
He was pissed. He doesn’t typically show it much, but when he does, he gets kind of scary. He’s more quiet, his voice gets deeper, and his whole body language just shifts. So when the higher-ups piss him off after a very long meeting, the last thing he needs is someone to pounce on him. He usually loves it when you greet him at the door when you’re home for work. But today, he just wanted to strip off his clothes and hop into bed.
Gojo huffs as he leaves the elevator of your shared apartment and grabs his keys from his pocket to unlock the door. As he opens the door, he sees you in the kitchen grabbing ingredients for dinner. “Hi baby,” You softly greeted him. “Hey.” was all he said back. It confused you for a second because he’s never greeted you like that before.
“Is everything okay?” You walk up to him to try to kiss him on his cheek. “God- Y/n, please.” He grumbled, walking right past you and placing his briefcase on the table. “I’m just trying to help,” you defended, walking up to take his coat off for him. “At least let me take your coat-” That’s when he snapped. Something he’s never done to you before. “Y/n, I fuckin’ got it! Geez, you’re so fucking clingy!” He aggressively shrugged your hands off his shoulder. It scared you a bit, to see him so angry at you. You were confused, all you wanted to do was make him feel better. Were you really that clingy?
“I-I’m sorry.” your voice came out shaky and defeated. Hearing how small your voice sounded in response to him lashing out made Satoru’s heart shatter into thousands of pieces. He wanted to turn around and apologize, but the words weren’t coming out. By the time he turned to face you, Your back was already facing him, preparing dinner for the both of you as tears rolled down your face.
Suguru Geto
It was 2 weeks after Suguru deflected. 2 weeks since he committed mass murder in that village. 2 weeks since he left Satoru, Shoko, and the others. It was weighing on him and you could tell. Nothing but him, his two adopted girls, a few people who believed in his cause, and you.
You promised him you would go wherever he would go, and he was so grateful for it. He loves you deeply and would do anything for you. But some days just threw everything on him at one time, today was one of those days. Monkeys non-sorcerers begging him to exercise curses left and right, Nanako and Mimiko begging him to take them shopping, missing payments from those begging for his service. It was all too much. And the guilt was eating away at him.
He genuinely wasn’t paying attention to what you were saying and it annoyed him how much talking you were doing in his ear at that moment. You were both sitting outside watching the two girls play in the yard. “Y/n,” He interrupted you. “Don’t you have something better to do than to just bother me?” He sighed sounding so condescending. “What do you mean?”
“Must you always cling to me? Isn’t there something else you can do besides following me everywhere I go, at all times of the day?!” His voice raised a bit as if he was talking to a non-sorcerer. “I didn’t realize I was. I was only trying to tell you about what me and the girls did today,” You defended. “You’re always so busy, I rarely get to see you anymore.”
“Yeah, because you’re always underneath me. Sometimes-” He stopped mid-sentence because of the saddened look on your face. His eyes softened a bit. “Sometimes I just need my space.” He sighed. You only nodded and started to walk back inside. “Ok, I understand.” Your voice cracked. Leaving Suguru alone to think about what he had just said to you. As if he didn’t feel guilt then, he definitely feels guilt now.
Toji Fushiguro
Toji was a bit frustrated today. He was cheated out of his money after doing a side job, the bet he placed on the race he kept constantly telling you about fell through, leaving him with zero, and to top it all off, the child support payment was coming up. You being an empath and knowing your boyfriend so well, you wanted to help him any way you could.
He was sitting in the chair by the island in the kitchen with his fingers combing through his hair. He was on the phone with multiple people at once, trying to solve his money issues. “Shiu, you guaranteed me way more money than this! How am I supposed to cover this months child support with this amount?!” You walked up to where he was, wondering what all the commotion was about. “Baby?” You softly called out. You could hear Shiu on the other line trying to calm him down and explain the situation.
“That sounds like a bunch of bull and you know it Shiu, you better have my money by next week thursday or else I’m taking it myself.” He grumbled and hung up the phone. “Baby,” You gently placed a hand on his broad shoulder.
“What, Y/n.” He sternly said. You merely blinked a few times. “I was just checking to see if you were okay. What’s with the attitude?”
“I’m fuckin’ frustrated okay? Please leave. You aren’t helping right now.” He waved you off.
“I barely did anything, I just wanted to know if you needed help with anything-”
“Jesus, I said enough! I don’t need your help. Fuck, you’re so clingy.” His voice booming caused you to remove your hand from his shoulder in fear. Seeing your reaction caused him to think about what he said and how he said it. The last think he wanted to do was scare you. He wanted you to feel safe around him. But with the way you jumped at how he raised his voice, it saddened him a bit.
“Y/n, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He was cut off by the sound of his child wailing in the background. “I’ll take care of it.” You said in the smallest voice, not even leaving him time to protest against it and apologize.
“Fuck.”
Part 2
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You are my heaven (Bruce Wayne x f!reader) Part 1
It was supposed to be a little imagine of a dark and lonely Bruce Wayne switching place with another Bruce Wayne from a parallal universe, but I wrote more than I thought. It'll be into 2 parts, except if you ask for more. <3
Warnings: no proof reading, sexual activities, language, neglecting husband and father, kinda angst/comfort
Imagine Bruce Wayne with no child, no wife (you), no friends and no more Alfred. He was all alone, making his life even harder, more cruel, more violent.
He didn’t adopt any child - not even Dick - because Alfred died quickly after Bruce became an adult. Thus, Bruce needed to take care of himself, and he didn't feel like he could look after a child. He was too tired and too depressed. He didn't want to bring any child into such a dark life.
His hands were full with Wayne Enterprises and his Batman way of life, so he also didn't make time for the Justice League. He sometimes helped them when it was about Gotham but nothing else.
And he never succeeded in getting you. He knew you. Oh yes, he knew you. He always thought that Batman would be his sole obsession, destroying him and his body. But then he met you, and he grew half insane. He needed you in his life so badly; he didn't care about anyone else. You were such a ray of sunshine in his dark existence. But you didn't want him. He was too desperate for you. You were scared of the darkness surrounding him, and you hated that rich man who wasn't trying hard enough for Gotham's poor people. He would have loved to cover you in affection and gifts, but you always escaped him.
Imagine this same Bruce Wayne being switched from places with another Bruce Wayne from another universe. This other Bruce had children, was married to you, and was friends with the Justice League. Alfred was still around. But this Bruce was neglecting everyone a little bit. This man thought he was entitled to get everything. His relationships were just alright with everyone. You more than once thought about getting a divorce actually, but you loved your life too much to let it go, even if Bruce could be a disappointment.
Imagine the lonely and desperate Bruce Wayne waking up one morning with you in the same bed as him.
At first, he believed it was all a dream, so he happily pulled you against his chest and snuggled up against you. He kissed the top of your head. When his alarm sounded out, he simply turned it off and hugged you tighter. He felt good and warm for the first time since his parents died. He completely melted in pure joy when you gently kissed his chest and neck, stroking his scarred stomach. He leaned into all your touch. He had no idea when he was going to wake up, so he wanted to enjoy this as much as possible. He didn’t want to think of the cold and empty bed that was going to greet him soon enough. He just wanted to stay there forever, cherished by you. Your scent was bringing him such comfort. He was relaxed, feeling safe and at home. This was what heaven must look like, he thought.
"Not running to work already?" You softly asked, a little bit surprised you didn't have to beg your husband for morning cuddles
"I'm good here," Bruce mumbled into your hair, his eyes closed in bliss
"What have you done to my husband?" You laughed as you straddled the man, looking down at him.
Husband? Fuck, it sounded so sweet to his ears. Bruce opened his eyes, drinking into your form. He loved how the sun was softly shining against your skin. He moved his hands on your thighs and stroked your skin. You were a goddess to him
“You’re beautiful” He whispered
You hummed and leaned to hungrily kiss him. He almost moaned against your lips. He had dreamt so many times of the feel of your mouth against his. But it was different than usual, it was better than he expected. He felt so whole. You were his soulmate. He always believed it. And feeling you like that… He promised himself that once he would be back to reality, he would find a way to seduce you. He needed you. You teasingly bit his bottom lip, and he smiled. Bruce's hands greedily moved around your body before settling on your ass. He gently squeezed it.
“Naughty” Ypu giggled, and he smiled even more
“Not my fault. You’re a goddess of love and light” He whispered
You didn’t reply. You weren’t too used to your husband talking to you like that. Your Bruce was good to you, but he never called you such things. He never watched you with such devotion in the eyes.
You sightly moved away to remove your nightgown under his watch. This Bruce had no idea how gorgeous you were naked, on top of him. He realised it was his favourite sight from now on. Gosh, what he wouldn’t do to be allowed to be greeted like that every morning of his life? He had dreamt so many times to be allowed to see you like this, to touch you like a lover and to take care of you. He was happy he was shirtless when you leaned back against him so he could feel your skin against his. He gently switched positions with you so he could get down on you. He kissed your neck, breasts, stomach, and inner thighs before settling in between your legs. He would have taken the time to kiss your legs and feet if he hadn’t been so hungry for you. It was such a vivid and nice dream. And he wanted you so badly. The way your fingers moved into his hair and tightened their hold whenever he was making you moan in pleasure became his favourite sensation. After the second orgasm he gave you this morning, he started to wonder if he truly was dreaming. You felt so real.
He didn't have time to think more about it as you brought him closer to you. You were softly panting, as he was happily kissing and stroking your skin. You were made to be worshipped, he thought. And he would love to be your most obedient and caring servant.
A soft knock at the door startled the two of you.
"Master Bruce, do I need to cancel all the meetings you had this morning?" Alfred's voice sounded out.
Bruce froze for a few fractions of seconds before regaining his composure. Was it truly Alfred? His dream was getting nicer and nicer. However, it was hard to think when you were affectionately kissing his skin and playing with his hair, looking at him with such tenderness in your beautiful eyes. He needed all his willpower to answer Alfred back.
"I'm on my way to Wayne Enterprises, Alfred," He finally replied, and you laughed because he really didn't look like he was.
The sound of your laughter made his chest blow with a warm feeling he didn't know. He was so deeply in love with you. He was so happy. And yet, the word “happy” didn’t feel strong enough to describe how he felt in this instant. He leaned to kiss you with pure affection before getting up, even though he would have loved to stay in bed with you.
You decided to be a good wife who cared about your husband’s work and duty, so you didn't follow in the shower, knowing Alfred would indeed need to cancel all of the meetings. You wondered what you did last night for Bruce to treat you with such passion and love this morning. You wished things would be more often like that.
You were still lying in bed when Bruce came out of the shower. Before looking for some clothes, he went back to you, like a magnet attracted to you. He kissed your naked back before kissing your lips.
"Time for some lunch with me, hon?" you asked, clearly pushing your luck, but Bruce seemed in a very good mood today.
You were ready for him to say no, though, like he always did.
"Of course, anything you want," He whispered, smiling.
He was excited you seemed to want to spend more time with him.
You didn’t add anything, truly wondering what you did last night. He kissed you again before dressing up. You enjoyed the view from the bed. Bruce loved the warm feeling of your eyes on him. He couldn’t get enough of your attention.
He reluctantly left the room after having stolen another kiss from you. He couldn’t get enough of you.
He properly greeted Alfred and thanked him for having checked on him.
Bruce was a little bit surprised to discover so many young adults and teenagers eating breakfast in his living room, but it was giving some life to his old manor. And in a dream, you couldn’t expect everything to make sense, right? So he simply greeted everyone and asked if they all slept well, like his father did when he was a child. They all seemed stunned by the question, but they still answered. What amazed them even more was that Bruce actually listened to their answers. He waved them all goodbye, wished them a good day, and went to work.
It was time for lunch, and Bruce hadn't woken up yet. His meetings were now done, and he could take some time to think. Everything felt so real so far. Usually, in dreams, when you read something, lines are blurry or the words mean nothing or the words change all the time... But it didn't happen. Apart from the people he didn’t know in his living room, everything seemed to make sense?
He typed away his name on his Internet browser and started to read about how he was dealing with Wayne Enterprises, how he was married to you, how he adopted or took under his roof many children. Bruce Wayne seemed quite… popular. He looked for Batman's work as well. It seemed he was often with the Justice League, and he had some vigilantes under his lead. He started to think about what happened last night - before he woke up with you in his arms.
He could now remember a very bright light engulfing him while he was fighting off some criminals.
"Where are we going for lunch?" You texted him, and the notification brought him back to the present
"That Italian restaurant near Wayne Enterprises?" He offered.
He always wished he could invite you there because he quite enjoyed this place. He hoped the place existed here, but with your answer it seemed it did.
"Oh yes, it's been a while!" You quickly replied. "I'll meet you there in a few. Love you <3" You added
"Love you too, wife" Bruce sent back.
Gosh, he never thought he would be allowed to send you such words and it was making his head spin.
But Bruce was a smart man, so he started to understand that he must have taken the place of the Bruce Wayne of this world. It couldn’t be a dream because it was too detailed and realistic. It couldn’t be an illusion, because something would have felt off to him. It wouldn't have been the first time he was trapped in an illusion, he would have been able to feel it. This place... everything felt true, real.
There were only two possibilities: someone brought him to a parallel universe or he died and went to heaven.
He hurt one of his fingers to draw blood. He couldn’t be dead if he was still bleeding, could he? So if he was going with the parallel universe, it meant… It meant that the other Bruce Wayne had this perfect little life. Fuck, he felt a deep and raw jealousy stabbing his heart: why didn't this Bruce suffer like he did? Why did this version of himself get everything he ever wished for himself? Alfred, children, you? Even Batman seemed to be doing better here. Wayne Enterprises were thriving, the biggest and most powerful firm of Gotham.
He needed to understand what happened... So he could forever stay here. There was no way he was going back to the Hell that used to be his life. He would kill himself at the instant he would get back. How could he survive being alone again? The other Bruce was a problem because if he was alive, he would want to get back here. But fuck him. Everyone seemed so surprised by how he was acting, so he was certain that the Bruce of this world didn’t deserve their love. And he would do anything to deserve it. It was his chance to finally be happy and he wasn’t going to fuck this up.
--
Part 2
#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne x you#bruce wayne x y/n#bruce wayne x fem!reader#bruce wayne x s/o#batman x reader#batman x s/o#batman x you#batman x y/n#batfam x y/n#batfam x reader#batmom#jason todd#alfred pennyworth#stephanie brown#the justice league
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Your future spouse : Who? Where? When?
Group 1 - Van Gogh
Letters : E M D E R U O E P W T Y
Words/signs/names : deputy, Rudy, Emery, Roy, power, true, Morty, drum, poetry, proud, meet, WED, route, pure, Tower, remedy, dom, prom, word, rude, drop, rope, dye, eye, TUE, wet, pet, pouty, muted, dope, prude
Recommended songs : Fly me to the moon Frank Sinatra, Sweater weather The Neighborhood, Snooze AGUSTD, MIA Bad Bunny ft Drake
WHO? - White Numen / Ask body / Magnesite : get your mind right.
Oh this person is powerful and stubborn AF. The bull and the panther may be spirit animals of this person. If not, they like these animals or their personality matches those. In terms of astrological placements, we have Taurus and Aquarius, as well as Earth signs in general (Taurus Virgo Capricorn). They are a boss ass B. They are masculine. Like reaaaallyyyy masculine. They have BIG DADDY energy. Jupiter might be very well aspected in their chart or the sign in which Jupiter is in their chart matches well with the energy of Jupiter. That would be Sagittarius, Pisces and Cancer. This person is a creator and a good manifestor. They think a lot. They are cerebral. They may strugg with overthinking but their mind reminds their best asset. They are the epitome of brains are sexy. This person would know everything from ancient languages and art skills to the newest knowledge in technology and medicine. They can do anything and everything they set their mind to. In terms of their looks, they are definitely tall. They would tower over you and lift you up like you were a feather. They are strong in all aspects. Their torso is bigger than the lower part of their body. They have broad shoulders, big hands, big forehead and nose, prominent jawline, regardless of their gender. Maybe for the women identifying people the bum and chest would be bigger than other features of their body. And for the men identifying people, the pectorals would be juicy. With the ask body card, this tells me this person works out a lot. They are also very spiritual. They give off a lone wolf energy when really this person has a lot of love to give they just know what they want and they have strong boundaries. So they would never let themselves be walked over or let in people who would bring more BS than anything. This person would keep you on your toes for sure. I feel like they would have a bold fashion style. Something that stands out from current trends or that is unusual for people who are like them. For instance, let’s say this person is quite old, maybe you’d expect them to wear suits and fancy watches. But instead this person has a very casual look or dresses like the younger people. They could be your boss or at least someone who has a higher status than yours. It wouldn’t surprise me if they already had kids. They are well established.
WHEN? - Page of pentacles / Higher perspective / Bismuth : rewrite your code with rainbows.
In terms of timing, the page of pentacles represents several months. Now if we look at the meaning of the page of pentacles, it talks about education. The page is a learner, a student in matters of material aspects. Combined with the Higher perspective card, this definitely gives me the feeling of going back to college. Or getting a training in something very specific. Potentially something involving spirituality. Like taking reiki courses or tarot reading lessons. So I feel this person is a teacher or a mentor to you. With the Bismuth card, I feel like this person will be opening doors for you. And that could be litteral because the door of my room opened out of nowhere as I was trying to get more information from the card. Higher perspective is related to Ether. This means to me that you will meet at a point in your life when you wish to evolve, to embody a better version of yourself and seek to gain knowledge or power.
WHERE? - King of cups / The Explorer / Malachite : claim your success.
We already had kind of a hint with the previous section. And I feel like it’s further confirmed by these cards, especially the Malachite card. Now if we talk about geographical indicators, water seems to be relevant. Also on the Explorer card there’s a compass. So it tells me that where you meet them, there is either a plan or something related to navigation or orientation. Also when looking at this card I heard "you already know where to find them". So it gives me the strong feeling that many of you already know this person and already met them. It’s just that you didn’t consider them your FS. Also the malachite card mentions the workspace. So you could work together. Or you’re doing the same job and you go to them for advice. Also the king of cups card depicts a man sitting on a thrown spilling water in an ocean of sharks. So this also tells me there’s a lot of competition where you meet. And it’s like this person is trying to educate or heal the sharks somehow.
Group 2 - Monet
Disclaimer : I kept confusing you with group 1 and there were cards of group 1 that kept wanting to come into your reading so you might want to check group 1 as well. I think there are two people that have the potential of being your future spouse.
Letters : L I S G E S T M S I E K
Words / signs / names : Selim, time, lies, mess, Tess, seek, kisses, misses, meets, lists, sees, skies, ski, Mike, miles, gems, glee, mist, melt, GSM, kit, leek, miel (French for honey), TMI, MIT, Stiles, geek
Recommended songs : Easy Camilla Cabello, Life goes on AGUSTD , Hall of fame Stray Kids
WHO? - Ace of pentacles / The Seeker / Aragonite : find your center.
Earth signs are being shown here. On the ace of pentacles card there are 8 hands reaching for the pentacle. So your person is wanted by many. They feel younger than you. They are possibly a student or a young active. With the Seeker card I feel like this person hasn’t found their true calling yet. They feel lost and out of balance. Maybe they got a job that doesn’t make them happy or their studies aren’t as fulfilling as they thought. They are super shy and reserved. They may appear as cold when they are just a softy. They have trust issues. They feel really cute to be honest. But also they are lonely. It’s like they keep searching for the one, when they have so many prospects. I feel like they have a lot of high standards and they know that other people don’t match the vibe they’re going for. I feel like this person only has eyes for you but you don’t see them. Again, this group knows their FS already. In terms of physical traits, I feel like this person has good hands. But their body might look out of shape a little. They’re more on the chubby side. They look comforting. Like the type of person that would give the best hugs. Their gaze is really soft. Like a puppy. They feel pretty needy tbh. But not the suffocating type of needy. They just want to be loved and crave for connection. Someone that will share their interests and values. Who will match their crazy and feel safe in their presence. I feel like this person has faced a lot of rejection in the past and they kinda are stuck with this idea that no one wants them. They are an introvert. They like to isolate and be in their bubble. I feel like people have an idea of them that is completely false. Like maybe they think this person is a flirt and parties all night when in truth they’re a couch potato and a gym rat. They only go out of truly needed and they would rather be alone than surrounded by tons of people they barely know. This person wants a family of their own so bad. Like a big family with the white dog and pretty little house. They’re a hopeless romantic and an idealist.
WHEN? - 2 of pentacles / Reclaim / Scolecite : dive into your dreams.
On the 2nd of a month, two months from now. It feels like you may be going back and forth with this person before fully knowing them or being close to them. There’s a chase and run type of energy to this connection. You’ll meet them when you or they are reclaiming your/their power and changing something in your life. So moving houses, changing jobs or getting back to studying. When you start chasing your dreams. Also you could meet them in your dreams before meeting them in person. During any earth sign season.
WHERE? - Queen of pentacles / Power / Amethyst : get drunk on your highest self.
In a places of power or worship such as Cathedrals and Churches, Mosques, temples, town halls, or in a place of education. Also monuments came to mind. Like the Eiffel Tower, the leaning tower of Pisa. There were many stars on the Queen of pentacles’s dress so Europe came to mind. The US and the UK as well. Other places include : Siberia, the Far East, Brazil, Uruguay, Sri Lanka, South Africa, Mexico, Australia, South Korea, India, Austria, Germany, Italy, Canada.
Group 3 - Hokusai
Letters : C Q T E C S L I G A L I
Words/signs/names : Ali, Alice, Alicia, Cecilia, Scilla, Giles, Gael, Gaelic, sigil, sea, sail, Lisa, aigle (French for eagle), Elisa, Elias, Cali, cast, list, tails, IQ, Tesla, sage, Isac, Lila, lilac, cis, alt, ciel (French for sky), call, site, Lise, teal, lace, acts, sell
Recommended songs : Mon amour GEMINI , 3:00 AM Finding hope , Dark on me Starset
WHO? - 6 of pentacles / The Revolutionary / Honey calcite : break through your limits.
First of all, your person might have a white dog. Second of all, they have tanned skin. Thirdly, they could work in law enforcement or they are studying at Law school. They could be doing humanitarian work. They are balanced and grounded. Both in their attitude as well as their personality. They know when to give and when to take, when to talk and when to listen, when to act and when to observe. With the revolutionary card, this tells me that they are pretty determined and ambitious. This person likes to stand for greater causes. So you’d bet that they advocate for children and women rights, for the LGBTQIA+ community, for the respect of nature and animals as well as the end of wars. The signs of Taurus, Aries, Sagittarius and Leo are significant. This person is very sweet. Almost to the point where sometimes they put others needs before their own. Especially if it’s about being fair and giving retribution for wrongs caused by previous generations. This person feels like they have a debt they need to pay. Also they might have suffered abuse in the past so they want to have retribution for them but also for the people who were wronged like they were. In terms of physical traits, their body is harmonious. So for female presenting individuals, they would have kind of an hour glass body type. Same for male presenting individuals. This person feels gender fluid. They are a minimalist. They like to keep things simple when it comes to the way they look. Honestly if they could be naked on a daily basis they would be. They’re in touch with nature. Animals love them. They have a very comforting aura. This person really is as sweet as honey. They could be a creator, a designer, a public speaker. They like to use their voice and their status to raise awareness about things they care about and value. They could be a teacher as well or someone that works with kids.
WHEN ? Page of swords / Paradox / Hematite : align with your wholeness.
When stars align. When you finally let your guards down. When you align with your calling, your soul mission. During any air sign season. Within a few weeks from now. When you’re on your period. When you let go of your old beliefs on love or when you move on from a past love, an unrequited love or a crush that would never have evolved into anything more than friendship. When your spiritual beliefs change drastically (i.e. you decide to convert to a new faith, you no longer believe in God, you choose to follow a spiritual path).
WHERE? - Queen of swords / Get wild / Emerald : point your heart toward grace.
In terms of countries, we have : Colombia, Brazil, Zambia, Zimbabwe, USA, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Russia, Australia. Now, in terms of where you could meet, I'm not getting much from these cards. It's like your FS wants to play hide and seek. They're not really comfortable sharing where they are. The only thing I'm picking up on is somewhere where the law is involved. So it could be an administration, a police station, law school, a lawyer's office, a prison. With the get wild card, the only hint I can get is that it can get intense. I asked for a card to clarify the Queen of swords and I got the 9 of pentacles. So law and money are involved. So maybe a bank or an insurance company. Or somewhere businesses and entrepreneurs go to get advice on how to invest their money or know if something they intend to do is legal or not.
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Wise Man - Willard Russel x Reader
@pizgif
Summary: He waited for her for a long time, but she was much better than his fantasies. A wise man knows when he has found his wife.
Warnings: English is not my first language. Not the second or third, I'm sorry. I'm just a Brazilian woman with Bill Skarsgard fever who likes to write to relieve tension. I hope you like it and that the BIG mistakes don't bother you while reading. With love, me.
It's romantic, kind of fluffy (if you like men who are madly in love) and with a slight spice of obscenity. Carefully follow along.
She smelled like lilies when she walked into the cereal aisle.
Every man prepares for that moment. The moment when your life will be turned upside down, all because of a peculiar smell that makes you turn your neck without any concern other than finding its source, then you come face to face with a woman. Your girlfriend, your wife, the mother of your children, the warm hand on your shoulder after a dog day, the smell of lilies on the pillow on the other side of the bed, the soft voice that will say “honey, is that you?” when you get home or “why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” in the morning.
Willard was waiting for her. Even though he didn't like to admit it out loud, he hoped there was someone like that in that strange, inhospitable hole in the world. And when she turned the corner, holding a bag of flour and some eggs, smelling of lilies, with dirt-stained fingernails and a yellow dress that had seen better springs, he knew that this would be his wife.
She looked up only subtly, acknowledging his presence because he was tall enough to block the view of some items on the small shelf, but not tall enough to notice that he was losing his breath at her handsome face.
Beautiful eyes.
Her eyes burned into a particular corner of his brain, coming into his dreams like two headlights. Willard never liked sleeping, seeing it as necessary as eating and pissing, but much more boring. He slept and felt paranoid about being so vulnerable. But when he started dreaming about her eyes, sleep became a pleasant escape.
Small town, people talk. They said that her father had left early, so it was just the mother and daughter in a house falling apart. The mother was sick and the daughter took care of keeping them alive and fed, took care of the family garden and sold flowers to the local flower shop, also repaired worn-out clothes and cleaned some houses. Willard brought shirts and she took them like treasures, pressing them to her chest before thanking him for thinking of her for the service. She didn't know that he himself cut some holes in his shirts and stopped buying some items for the house to have an excuse to see her. It was worth it when your shirts came back sewn and smelling of fresh earth, tulips and daisies.
Someone needed to take care of her. Someone needed to keep her warm at night and scare away the strangers who followed in her footsteps when she make your purchases.
Most of them started to cower when she started waving at Willard when she saw him on the street. He almost chickened out himself, thinking about what chance she had of seeing him with some affection, and took a while to return the wave, which gave her the confidence to do so more often.
'Good morning, Mr. Russel' and ‘Good afternoon, Mr. Russel’, always with a sweet voice and a small smile at the corner of his mouth, that corner that made him want to lean over her, hold her face and run his index finger across her lips, because they were beautiful, they looked soft and smooth. He told her to cut the formalities, but she always called him that, changing to her first name only when he went to her house with clothes to mend.
─ You have a lot of clothes to sew." She smiled and Willard thought she might know.
She was beautiful in a disconcerting way. She had that face that made the day seem less depressing, with a smart smile and sparkling eyes, and that body that made him wish ─ and then feel even slightly guilty for letting his thoughts go so far ─ that he could travel with his mouth, kissing her curves. as he breathed in the scent she must have had beneath her clothes, that skin as smooth as silk at his mercy. She wasn't stupid, though.
─ It's as if termites do their damage whenever I take my eyes off them. Sorry for bringing you so much trouble.
─ No, you don't need to apologize for that. But you spend a lot of money on me.
─ It's money well spent.
─ I… ─ She breathed in, batting her eyelashes as a gentle rebuke to whatever was in her brain. Without meaning to, Willard took a step forward. Don't beat yourself up, my blossom, that's what she wanted to say, but she stopped herself from taking that step inside the screened-in porch of her house. ─ You…
─ Willard.
─ Willard. ─ He waved with a resigned smile. ─ I don't want to be rude.
─ Please be. Be rude all you want, I won't care.
─ Do you want to stay for dinner?
His heart became a nearly dead muscle beneath her words, only to start beating full force again, skipping beats like a runner in a marathon. He couldn't believe it. A huge smile spread across his face. It would be the first time she invited him in. This gave him hope. He gave him a duty.
─ I want it.
Once inside her personal space, the place where she lived, he felt enveloped to the core, because the entire house smelled like her. Soft earth and flowers.
Her couch was warmer and more comfortable. The table at home, although small, was warmer and the chairs were comfortable. The smell of his food made him feel a dormant, wild hunger, something that was more inside his head than his stomach, roaring and digging with sharp nails into his flesh. He went to the bathroom, with the window facing the backyard. A small window, but one he could sneak through, and he left it open from the inside.
That night, he had dinner with his future wife and her mother, a lady so laughing and talkative that she filled him with questions full of ulterior motives.
If he was married, which he gladly answered no, looking at the flush-cheeked girl at the other end of the table. If he intended to get married, he said yes. What he worked with, whether he drank, whether he was baptized, whether he was up to date with his church obligations. Willard maintained a helpful smile because he knew she heard all his answers and, somewhere, evaluated everything he said.
Later, when they said goodbye, she walked him to the door.
─ Thank you for staying. We don't receive many visitors.
─ Thank you for dinner. No one has cooked for me for a long time.
─ You can come when you want to be questioned over a plate of food.
Under the yellow light of the screen porch, the world seemed very small and very simple. There was nothing but him and that woman. Nothing but the way she looked at him, her face lifted to meet his eyes, and the way she breathed, how she filled her lungs all at once and emptied them more slowly. Her cheeks were warmer in the yellow light, the glow in her eyes was like the gravitational force making him yield to her, and the flutter of those eyelashes stirred Willard's heart once again.
He waited for her, but he couldn't believe that reality could be so good.
His right hand touched hers, gentle but lewd, and he leaned in, consuming the air between them, to kiss her left cheek.
He didn't apologize or look back before walking through the balcony door, hearing the thud as it closed behind him. He walked through the garden and disappeared into the darkness, but he didn't go away. He watched her touch her cheek with her fingertips and take a deep breath, then a smile spread across her face.
Every night for two months, he climbed in through that bathroom window in the middle of the night and walked silently around the house. He touched the notes she signed by hand, her grocery list or some reminder on the refrigerator door, ran his fingers through the clothes on the line at the back of the house and went through her things. He defiled her space because he felt a certain comfort in it, in walking through the house and pushing open her bedroom door, watching her sleep peacefully in the narrow bed. She looked peaceful and carefree, as she should be. She looked fragile, small (and that had nothing to do with her height) and defenseless against all the dangers of that land, a little sparrow that he wanted to hold in his hands and keep, because flying around would get him into trouble.
Every time he was invited to dinner, which started to happen more and more frequently, he allowed himself to leave a kiss as a farewell.
A kiss on the cheek, on the back of her hands, on her knuckles, on her forehead. It was like a small dose from a bottle that he hoped he could take a bigger swig of. Holding her face and bringing his lips to her temple, breathing in the scent of her hair as he enjoyed the feeling of his own lips on the skin of the one who stole his heart, because he couldn't take her mouth and, by the good Lord, no part underneath that yellow button-down dress.
One night, when he turned his back, she followed him outside.
─ Willard! ─ The urgency made him stop in place, but it took him a while to turn on his heels, finding her outside with him, away from the yellow lights.
Outside, the world was different.
The darkness of the night was infested with dangers and evil men. The world smelled not just of soft earth and flowers, but also of gunpowder and blood, ambition, power and unbridled pleasure, suffering and bitterness, things that didn't feel like her but were familiar to him. She came after Willard and he waited for her because she was too small to be alone. She didn't need to be alone. Never again.
─ What was it?
─ I don't know.
─ Yes, you know. ─ She needed to know, because the wait wasn't just exciting. It was heartbreaking too. Each night watching her from afar, unable to run his nose along the delicate curve of her neck or cover her when she moved in her sleep and made the blanket slide, slipping away to reveal a pair of breasts covered only by a soft nightgown. The things he did to himself imagining having those breasts in his mouth... ─ It's dark out here. Whatever you say will remain in the dark.
─ What if it’s bad?
─ Nothing good is said in the dark, my dear, that's why we only talked alone on your balcony.
She nodded.
She was barefoot. Most of the time, she stayed barefoot inside the house, limiting herself to wearing lace-up boots over socks when she needed to go into town.
─ I want to be your darling.
─ You are. Always has been, ever since I laid eyes on you.
─ No, not like that. I want to be more than I am now. ─ She took a deep breath. ─ I want you to come and have dinner here every day and not have to pay for me to fix your clothes, because it gives me great pleasure to do so. I don't want you to have to leave after you kiss me.
─ Be my wife then, darling.
That time, she was the one who held his hand. Her fingers were smaller than his, knotted from working with the earth and sewing threads, and that only made her more perfect. She intertwined her fingers with his and leaned forward on the tips of her toes, seeking him with that warm, inviting mouth, her breathing quickened beneath her dress.
Willard married her twice.
The second time was in the church where she was baptized, with God's blessing. He gave her a white dress and a veil, only to move it away from her face and kiss her when the priest gave him permission. Few people went to the ceremony and neither of them cared, they didn't have a party, they just went home and he carried her to bed.
The first time, however, was in the dark, outside the house. And it smelled like soft earth and lilies.
Willard married his wife the moment he lay on top of her, hearing her soft giggle as she hugged his waist with her legs, squeezing her thighs around him as the tip of his cock entered the folds of that tight, wet-as-hell pussy. heaven should be. He wanted to give her a good bed, but they didn't need that while they were numb with passion, their lips locked in a kiss full of voluptuousness and promises.
You'll never be alone again, he promised as he ran his fingers over her face, removing the strands of hair stuck to her sweaty skin, hitting that pussy.
You'll never be afraid, he gasped, because she was holding him tight and moaning against his neck, trying to contain herself. I didn't want her to have to hold back those sly, tearful, sweet sounds, but I didn't want her mother to suspect that he was between her only daughter's legs, so she whispered, between smiles, so that she would make less noise, and she would also smile, but he couldn't contain himself.
You'll never have to worry about anything in the world, he slid his hand between their bodies, while he felt his dick invading her, and he slid his finger over her folds, on that pulsing beam. He rubbed it just for pleasure and indulgence, watching her squirm, biting her right hand to keep still, as beautiful and ethereal as angels must be. Then he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting her on his tongue.
Every day and every night, my blossom, I will be the devil that guards you, her taste was like the best of drinks and the best of drugs. An addiction he would maintain with devotion.
She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging as her walls clenched so tight it was unbearable. He let her cum, kissing her neck and collarbone lovingly, running his hands over her soft breasts. Every day and every night, you will be loved like a goddess and a slut, my blossom, because you are mine.
#bill skarsgård#bill skarsgard x reader#bill skarsgard fanfiction#willard russell#willard russel x reader#the devil all the time#x reader#fluff and smut
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Toji Fushiguro headcanons
Creator: Yall reblogs, likes, comments and suggestions are GREATLY appreciated!!!! I never knoow who to write these about so I just chose Geto, the nsfw is marked in blue mdni
This man has HUGE hands, you bet he is comparing them to yours. If he ever cares to give you a massage it will be great, thanks to his hands size.
We all know Toji's body is ripped, speaking of huge lets talk about his chest. He loves having you resting your face on it etc.
I feel like Toji hates people but people also hate Toji, you are his only exception.
He definetely has his own gym at home, I don't think he likes when people watch him work out.
I also think that he enjoys working out while you are there though. I feel like he would want you to sit on his back while he does push ups and hold his feet when he does sit ups, so on.
Toji has a resting bitch face, we can admit that. But I don't think he is pissed off all the time, maybe yes he gets dissapointed fast but I don't think he gets mad very easily.
We have heard his deep voice, now imagine it in the morning when he has that deep, raspy just woke up voice.
I think that his love language is acts of service and physical touch, I just imagine it makes him feel warm and fuzzy when he tends to your wounds or you to his. Or doing the chores for eachother for example.
His favourite type of dates is just the casual netflix and chill.
The biggest romantic, buying you roses if he sees something you would enjoy he wraps it up and gifts it to you.
^He is terrible at wrapping presents.
Appears to be super tough but he is the hugest softie when you two are alone together, never letting anyone catch him lacking though.
He is not the kind of guy to ask for cuddles but really loves them.
Toji ADORES it when you sit in his lap, and if you fall asleep while sitting in his lap its even better
He likes watching you put on makeup but will never let you put anything on him, not even as much as a lotion that smells like "girls" lotion.
NSFW MDNI
Lets admit it. Those big hands I mentioned earlier do good in other than just massages. He loves when you start squirming or begging even from just his fingers alone.
He is way more of a hard dom. He has no intention of being gentle, at all.
He is very strong so you bet he will throw you around and manhandle you like he owns you.
We can face it, he is either the type of guy to tease you during foreplay to the point it's just torture. Or he will not do any foreplay at all and go straight to the case.
He always says things like. "Let me hear you" and "I love these pretty sounds you make for me"
This guy LOVES when you give him blowjobs, he also enjoys covering your lips with his pre-cum before inserting himself in your mouth.
When Toji has sex he isn't making love, he Fucks. Yes he is loving in any other situation. Just not when he is having sex, the man turns into a monster.
Toji is definetely not a moaner. He grunts and groans, maybe he lets a whine escape his lips whenever he cums.
He prefers to go in raw, not on the pill? Too bad.
This guy loves spanking your ass, the clap noise is like music to his ears.
Thank you so much for reading, lmk anything you think I missed and also lmk who to do next. Make sure to check out my other ones too!
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#headcanon#headcanons#toji x reader#toji fushiguro#fushiguro toji#toji zenin#toji x you#toji smut#jjk toji#fushiguro#jjk fushiguro
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PARSELSCRIPT!!
Hi. This is mostly for the people from Discord but tadah! I'm finally making that Tumblr post I've been talking about for months.
(Warning this will probably be very chaotic)
To anyone new who sees this: me and some friends made an alphabet for Parseltongue from Harry Potter, aka Parselscript. I'll take you on a little journey to explain my process and give you some tips, should you want to start writing it.
Disclaimer: I wanted to make this script usable for the writer I made it for so it's less of an actual language and more just some characters to represent the Latin (or ‘English’) letters. Like a cipher. It is not realistic. If I made this realistic I'd have to add all sorts of things to indicate body language and smell etc and also have to figure out what sounds Parseltongue actually has etcetera etcetera. No.
Alright.
It all started when we started talking about Parselscript in a Discord server and I asked my friend Ava to visualise the script because she seemed to have a clear vision of it, so I could use it to go from there.
That's how we got this.
I think we all wanted to go with something flowery for some reason, so we did.
After this I just messed around with brushes and shapes in Procreate for a while, tweaking things and trying to make it more writeable. I ended up with something like this (still a rough draft).
It may look a bit like random squiggles at first, and it kinda was at this point. As you can see there's also a lot of added dots and lines, which can be a bit hard to remember and I see you wondering what it looks like without them.
Well here it is.
I showed this to the people I brainstormed with in Discord and we decided to go with the more complicated version because it looks better lol.
This is one of the final versions.
It says: "Hello, my name is Kiwi Cult. I made this script after reading a fanfic called Terrible, But Great written by Isalise the loml on Archive Of Our Own."
Now, to talk about some of the (boring) logistics.
It is read from left to right, top to bottom.
Every separate combination of squiggles you see above is a separate word. Every word is made up of a starting character, one or more letter characters and an ending character.
The very first character you see in the top left corner, with the three petal looking thingies, is a silent starting character that indicates the start of a sentence. Not word: sentence. The end of the character, that little circle thingy, is a comma. So, the first combination says: "Hello,".
Then, the second combination starts with a kind of hook going down and right. This is also a silent character and more meant as an interpunction, that's why you don't pronounce it. It's kind of just a way to start the word when there isn't anything special about it (aka it's not the start of a sentence, a name, an exclamation or a question. But every character is special in its own right🥲). The same kind of hook can be found at the bottom of the combination, except going up. It has the same use, basically just a way to end the word when there isn't anything special about it. Now, you might ask: why does it go right and not left?
We talked about this a while, because I wanted the direction to have some kind of meaning. We wondered about gender, tone, blah blah all kinds of complicated things but in the end I just wanted this script to be writable so I chose to have proficient writers in Parseltongue make their hooks go left and beginners have their hooks go right.
Now, you might notice that I end my words with a hook going right. That is because I don't see myself as a pro in writing in Parselscript okay? It's hard!😭💀
Now, other than the character indicating the start of a sentence, the circle, and the simple hook, there are a few other characters to start or end a combination (don't worry I'll show them all to you at the end, you won't have to use your imagination for long).
We have a character to indicate a name. Now, the rule is: name indicator over start of sentence indicator. So, if you start a sentence with a name, you'll use the symbol to indicate a name, NOT BOTH. (That's not even possible but I don't even want to see you try and butcher my child).
There is a character to indicate a sentence that would usually be followed by an exclamation mark (!), but at the start of the sentence. Then you’d end the exclamated sentence with a period.
The same goes for a question mark (?): put it at the start of a question, not the end. Again, it wouldn't even be possible to use it at the end of a combination but I DON'T EVEN WANNA SEE YOU TRY.
Finally we have a period (.), which looks a bit like a flower with four petals. You do use this one at the end of a word, and it is always followed by a start of sentence indicator or a name indicator. I know people are rejecting capitals these days in their typing but I don't wanna see it. If you start a word after a period with a hook I will find you.
If a sentence starts with a name that is also a question or exclamation you’d use the question/exclamation mark above the name indicator, otherwise it would take away a vital part of the sentence while a name can still be read even if it doesn’t have its indicator.
So, to put it all next to each other, the symbols we have are: -start of sentence indicator -name indicator -exclamation mark (!) -question mark (?) -period (.) -hook (direction depends on efficiency) -comma (,) (direction depends on efficiency)
I didn't make adjusted characters to indicate a capital letter like we do in the Latin alphabet, meaning that the only things you can kind of 'capitalise' are the start of a sentence and the start of a name.
It is also slightly phonetic. Emphasis on slightly. I made separate characters for almost all letters in the Latin alphabet, so you can just write your word normally with Parselscript characters. The only difference is that I made only one character for the 'f/v' sounds and that there is no 'c' character. If a word has a 'c' in it, you'll have to use the character for a 'k' or an 's'. Also a ‘q’ can be made with ‘k’ and ‘w’ etc.
A few examples: -character=karakter -parselscript=parselskript -crazy=krazy -science=siense
-quiz=kwuiz
I know it looks a bit confusing, but I trust you guys' ability to read context clues and figure out what someone means when you try to decipher Parselscript.
Now, for a word like 'phonetic' or 'decipher' I don't really care whether you use the separate characters for 'p' and 'h' or just the one for the 'f/v' sound. You do you.
I also don’t use any double letters because they basically sound the same and it looks ugly but if you want to use double symbols feel free.
I also made some numbers that do not look like they fit with the rest of the script but I promise you that's just because you're not used to it yet. Our own numbers don't belong with our alphabet either because we nicked them from the Arabs (I think, don't quote me on this) but we don’t notice that either.
Tadah. (Yes I know it’s out of order I told you this was gonna be chaotic af)
Other than that, feel free to ask me questions if I've forgotten anything or if you're wondering about anything. I can't guarantee that I have a good answer because I might not even have thought about it myself, but I can always try to come up with something. I am one person, I'm afraid I haven't been able to take everything about a script into consideration.
Now, without further ado; here is the key.
No, your eyes didn't deceive you: there are two versions. The first has a bit more loose squiggles than the second one. I realised that when I was writing physically, the second version was much nicer to write, so it is kind of like Simplified Parselscript. I haven't decided yet if I'm gonna put some lore behind it or not yet. But I included the og one if you're a tryhard and wanna take it on.
Now, if you're gonna start writing it yourself, here is the stroke order.
I tried to make it as clear as possible but please ask me if you're confused on anything.
Red is the starting point of the whole symbol, the arrows indicate the direction to go in, x marks the start of the small extra's.
Now, I'd also recommend writing on some type of paper with vertical lines like this if you're gonna do it physically.
You can just turn a paper with normal, horizontal lines a quarter to get vertical lines. Also, do NOT write in between the lines. They are meant to help you keep the start and ending on the same line so you don't start going into crazy directions while writing. So, start your sentence symbol or hook or whatever in the middle of the line and try to keep coming back to that vertical line after every letter. As you gain more proficiency you'll probably go straight into the next letter without going back to the line all the time but I think this is a good starting point.
I also recommend writing with a fountain pen or something else that flows well because it’s easier to write that way.
Here is another rough draft I made on physical paper to get a feel for it. As you can see this draft had a lot more different starting characters and ending characters so just ignore that. Hope this motivates you a bit or smth.
Lmk if you want me to post a video of me writing in this Parselscript.
Also please let me know if you know of someone else who's also made a Parselscript because I tried to look for it on Tumblr and Twitter etc but I couldn't find anything.
I also feel like there’s a big mistake I made that I realised the last time I worked on this script but I’ve forgotten it now so if you find out please comment or dm or anything💀
Also feel free to use in your own fic, tho a little tiny shoutout in the a/n would be nice :) I’m @/kiwi_cult on Ao3, @/slvtr_ on Wattpad, @/kiwi cult on ff.net, @/slvtr.1 on TikTok and @/.slvtr on Discord.
Credits:
@natis-balamnimaja @asterialvia and @/zee (who unfortunately left the server and I don't know the Tumblr @ of) for brainstorming with me and @isalisewrites for inspiring us and making the server we discussed this in.
Okay bye :) tell me if I forgot anything.
🥝
#fanfiction#isalise#parselscript#parseltongue#hogwarts#harry potter#language stuff#alphabet#script#tom riddle#worldbuilding#ao3
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Hi! I'm probably not intersex, and recently I've been trying to educate myself as much as possible on the intersex experience, entirely through reading posts from intersex people here on Tumblr.
I was wondering if there was any chance I could get some guidance on how I can best be supportive of intersex people both online and out in the wild! I try a lot to reblog everything I see on here and in general just treat everyone the same way, no matter if they're intersex or not, but I can't help but be worried I'll say something wrong out of being still on my journey to being educated.
So I thought I'd come here and just... ask?
What can I do to be the best ally I can?
In the same vein, do you happen to have any suggestions on sources I could use to educate myself further?
Thanks in advance!
Hi anon! Thanks for wanting to be a better ally.
I would recommend checking out the sources shared in this post.
I'd also specifically highlight that I think it's really important for allies to learn about intersex justice. Intersex justice is a specific movement and framework created by intersex people of color from the Intersex Justice Project that looks at intersex justice as a part of collective liberation, understands the important of cross-movement organizing, and recognizes the way that systems of power based on white supremacy and colonialism shape and enable intersex oppression. The seven principles of intersex justice are:
Informed consent
Reparations
Legal protections
Accountability
Language
Children's rights
Patient-centered healthcare
These are really important values to center your intersex allyship around.
I'll also share some miscellaneous tips for things to think about in your intersex allyship:
Listen to intersex people about our experiences, not doctors! The medical system plays a huge role in our oppression, and is not the expert on our experiences.
You're going to have to unlearn a lot more biases and myths than you might think you have to. Intersexism/compulsory dyadism shows up in a lot of small ways, like the fact there's only M and F boxes in forms, jokes about micropenises, beauty standards about body hair, and more. Keep an eye out for all these ways our society props up the sex binary, even though it's a myth.
Avoid DSD terminology, referring to "male" and "female" bodies, calling intersex a "third sex" and never use the h slur. Other terminology that isn't always bad, but often gets misused that can be good to keep an eye out for: AFAB/AMAB, biological sex (when people say that gender is socially constructed but sex is biological).
Research if there are intersex organizations in your country and join their email list! That's a great way to stay informed about if there's any current initiatives, protests, legislative proposals, or other forms of activism you can get involved in.
Speak up when you see intersexism in every space you're in, whether that's people advocating for normalizing surgery, using the h-slur, or otherwise talking in ways that dehumanize or isolate intersex people.
Figure out a way to bring intersex awareness to the spaces that you're in! Whether this is putting up posters for Intersex Awareness day in October in your neighborhood, work, and community spaces, hosting an event at an organization or club about intersex topics, watching an intersex film with your friends, even something like making intersex pride stuff for the Sims if that's a hobby of yours--those are all great ways to introduce more people to intersex topics.
Listen to the intersex people in your life about how to support them! A lot of intersex people have a lot of very different experiences, needs, and wants. We don't have universal experiences and there are many different opinions on things in the intersex community. A lot of us are also multiply marginalized and our intersex identities are shaped by that.
If other intersex followers have tips, please feel free to add on!
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looking through your eyes + two
authors note: holy shit, i didn't expect so many people to be interested in this story! thank you all so much for the kind comments. this one is heavier than the first, but the following should be a little lighter.
i also just want to clarify something that a few of you mentioned: roman will not be abusive in this story. i know that's a plot used frequently, but it's not my thing, so i just wanna make that clear. :)
he is an ass though.....for now.
also, please, please, please heed to the cw/tw's! i will update them to reflect the content of each update. it's up to you, the reader, to prepare yourself properly by reading them to avoid being triggered.
if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw: language, violence against women, a scene of torture, depiction of ptsd, trauma responses (panic attacks), mentions of suicidal thoughts, brief line of dialogue referring to past childhood sexual assault, trauma response due to past childhood sexual assault
song inspo: 'looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes
words: 7k
“You’re going to kill Roman Reigns for us.”
If Solana was capable of feeling and experiencing any emotion other than sadness and fear, she would laugh.
She would laugh because no one sane truly thinks that they can kill the head of the table, least of all someone like her. But, it really does settle in that her father and brother truly believe that she, of all people, can do something like that.
Can take someone’s life.
Just the thought alone unlocks a new level of dread and terror.
Eyes watering, she shakes her head, protesting. “No. I—I can’t do that. I—I won’t.”
Rarely, if ever, does Solana push back on what she’s asked or told to do. It only results in more severe beatings that lead to ER trips vs having to patch herself back up in her bathroom. She’s accepted that acquiescence is always a better alternative. But this….this she can’t get behind.
Wes smiles. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
As soon as the words leave his mouth, Solana knows exactly what’s about to happen next. Stupidly, she tries to escape, climbing up on her feet and making it centimeters past Wes when he fists her hair, yanking her body back. She hisses in pain and starts to cry and protest as he drags her across the first floor of the house.
“No! P-please! I–I’m sorry!” She begs, all the while Xavier follows lazily behind, keeping his cigar near his mouth.
“Shut up,” Wes snaps. She cries, heartbeat sporadic, so much so that it’s becoming difficult to breathe. That’s one of the worst things to happen considering what she knows is about to occur. He kicks open the bathroom door, and sure enough, the tub is already full and ready.
“No…..” Wes shoves her toward the tub, kicking her in her back to force her to the knees, Solana’s head banging against the side of the tub. She can only blink two or three times before water is burning her eyes, filling her mouth, drowning her.
Solana flails against Wes whose strong hand holds her down under the water by the back of her head. It’s a wasteless effort, trying to fight against him, when her energy would be better spent trying not to drown.
Not that Wes will allow that. He’s adept at bringing her to the edge of unconsciousness, pulling back just in time to taunt her. And that’s exactly what he does, pulling her head back, finding a level of enjoyment at her violent coughs and tears.
His favorite form of torturing her.
She’s not sure how long it lasts, only knows there’s a tremendous amount of relief when he finally lets her go long enough for her to plant her palms on the ground to gather herself.
Xavier, who stood there watching the whole time with pleasure, walks towards her. Solana gasps and moves her body back against the tub, wanting as much distance between the two of them as possible.
His face is blank, no emotion in his eyes. “You either kill Reigns.” Solana’s eyes shut as Xavier caresses her wet cheek. “Or we kill you.”
It’s impossible to hold back her tears, as Solana breaks down in front of her father and brother, the both of which simply walk away with an astounding amount of indifference.
They slam the bathroom door shut, allowing her the privacy of at least deteriorating without their judgmental glares.
Pulling up her legs against her chest and wrapping her arms around them, she sobs into her thighs, confused as to just how in the hell she ended up in this situation.
Solana isn’t a killer. Has never even had the desire to kill anyone. Not even the two men who just made it abundantly clear that her only two options are to kill or be killed.
Just how all of this is supposed to work is beyond her. Roman is a boulder of a man, body covered in ropes of pure muscle with a kill count that rivals some of the world’s leading assassins. She’s barely 5'1, can’t seem to get the scale to budge no matter how many diets she tries, and trembles in the presence of anyone who has an XY chromosome combination.
Many have tried to kill Roman, and all have failed, meeting gruesome, torturous deaths.
What chance does she have?
————
Any prayer sent up requesting some type of divine intervention to stop this unholy union is either denied, ignored, or planning to be answered at a much later date and time, because the next two weeks speed by faster than the speed of light.
Solana’s days are filled with wedding preparations that require little to no of her say in what she wants. Not that that’s any different from most things in her life.
Granted, there’s a small part of her that mourns when she’s presented with her wedding dress.
The dress she doesn’t want to wear for a wedding she doesn’t want to have. There’s an alarming lack of autonomy that suddenly feels so much heavier and suffocating despite it being a consistent, dominant theme in her life.
A large part of her recognizes how it’s probably largely due to the whole reason why all of this is happening.
Her father and brother want control of the bloodline.
Objectively speaking, she can see why this would be a goal. It’s everyone’s goal. To have control and power over the most powerful crime family in the entire continent. Maybe beyond. The Bloodline’s true stretch has never really been made public, per se. She’s certain that’s partially what makes them so dangerous. One can never really know who is a member and who is not, who has ties and who is an enemy.
A secret that gives them a forever advantage.
The day of the actual wedding, like everything else, comes much quicker than Solana feels prepared for. Truthfully, she doesn’t feel prepared for any of this, doesn’t want any of this, but much like most things in her life, her wants and desires don’t matter.
No one cares to hear them, and no one definitely cares to respect them.
On the day of the wedding, shortly after arriving at the church, she’s left alone in one of the back rooms. Someone mutters something about the makeup artist and hairstylist to come in shortly before slamming the door and leaving her by herself. That’s mostly a bad thing. Being alone with the thoughts she’s been having lately……they typically don’t result in anything good.
Overwhelmed and in her head too much, Solana grabs her purse and takes out the latest journal she’s been working out of.
And she writes.
Dear Mom,
Today is my wedding day. I should be happy. You should be here. None of that is the case though. The truth is that I feel so empty. This won’t turn out well. I either try to kill Roman and he ends up killing me as a result or I refuse and dad and Wes kill me.
There is no outcome where I make it out of here alive.
And mama, I know you always told me to never forget that life is a gift, but mine isn’t. It hasn’t been since they took you from me.
And truthfully……I don’t think I really care anymore.
Life is hard. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
I’d rather be with you instead.
The knock on the door startles Solana as she hurriedly moves to close up her notebook, stuffing it back in her purse as she calls out for whoever is on the other side to enter. The door slowly swings open as Solana quickly swipes at her eyes, feeling the burning of pending tears.
She can’t let them see her cry though.
No matter how badly she wants to.
While Solana expects another set of hard eyes and an indifferent scowl, she’s met with a woman around the same age as her with half her head shaved, the other side full of dark purple hair that grazes her shoulder.
“Damn, got the right room on the first try. Let’s fucking go.” Solana stands up as the woman walks over, adjusting the black makeup kit on her shoulder. “I’m Bayley.” She extends her hand out for a handshake, and Solana takes a second to reciprocate, caught off guard by her relaxed disposition. The way her smile meets her eyes, not a trace of irritation or disgust in having to assist her.
Solana has only had minimal interaction with representatives of the Bloodline, namely the women who accompanied her at the tailor shop and made comments, most likely about her, in their native Samoan. Nina always taught her daughter not to assume, but it’s hard to not believe cruel things are being stated when they’re conjoined with pointing, eye rolls, and curt exchanges when they needed Solana to move a certain way.
So Solana, understandably, is cautious.
“Solana,” she shares, shifting in her seat.
“I know,” Bayley snickers, placing her makeup kit on the counter and starting to lay out products. “I’d be a bit of a shitty makeup artist if I didn’t know who the bride was, am I right?”
Solana doesn’t say anything. The silence doesn’t come from a place of rudeness but rather continued confusion. She can’t comprehend why this woman is being so nice to her?
If Bayley is bothered by the lack of responses, she does a damn great job of not showing it. “Now, I have a couple ideas of what look I think I wanna go for with you, but as it’s your big day, what are you thinking?”
That…..that is what triggers another one word responde.
Cautious, she asks, “me?”
Bayley pauses in the midst of starting to pick out foundation options and leans back against the counter, a small, sympathetic smile on her face. “Arranged marriages suck ass. You already don’t get to pick who you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with. The least you can do is pick out some makeup.”
There’s something so insanely comforting about her otherwise simple words. Something freeing and liberating about being given an option, even if it’s about makeup. For the first time today, Solana actually smiles.
“I—I like neutral colors. Gold…maybe would be okay too.”
And just like that, the deep smile that revealed the dimple in Bayley’s right cheek returns. “Great minds think alike. That’s exactly what I was gonna go for.”
“And—” Solana adds, voice an octave lower, insecurity creeping back in. “If—if you could cover the scar as best you can.”
“What scar?” Bayley gives her a wink before finishing up the laying out of products. “I got you, girl.”
It’s not very often, if ever, Solana feels beautiful. And even when those once in a blue moon moments occur, they’re fleeting or surface level, typically dashed by a cruel comment from her family. But today, standing in front of the mirror, makeup completed, hair done, and dress on, she actually feels beautiful.
The first time she tried on the dress, it was an unpleasant experience for a variety of reasons, on top of the fact that she hated the style. Strapless and form-fitting with a sweetheart neckline. Solana hates her arms and especially bringing too much attention to her chest and body in general.
But conjoined with the hair and makeup, she actually doesn’t immediately want to turn away from the mirror when she sees the outcome.
Bayley comes behind her, still wearing that smile that Solana is now convinced, despite the odds, is genuine. “Reigns is a lucky bastard. You look fuckin’ gorgeous.”
Solana really does mean it when she offers a sincere “thank you.” Bayley’s positive energy is exactly what she needed. It doesn’t change anything, but it definitely does help her not to be consumed by thoughts she hasn’t had since she was a teenager.
“Hey, uhh, I’m sure being married to Mr. Tribal Chief himself means you’ll probably have to make appearances from time to time, hold his arm and shit.” She hands Solana a small piece of paper. Unfolding it, Solana sees numbers scribbled down in red ink. A phone number. “Ever need glam again for any of it, hit me up. Or even….even if you just need someone to talk to.”
“Thank you.” Solana’s voice is stronger this time, firmer, the small act of kindness traveling such a long way. She holds up one side of her gown to walk over and slide the paper in her purse.
She’ll make sure not to lose it.
There’s a hard knock on the door that reminds her where she is. Reminds her that people like Bayley are anomalies. One doesn’t get to experience kindness for too long. Not in her world.
Solana honestly didn’t expect her father to walk her down the aisle, didn’t see it as something he would have any interest in nor find an exciting opportunity. And those two reasons are very much true, but his desire to issue last minute warnings outweighs both of them.
Xavier’s frame fills the door as he looks at Solana from head to toe. Instantly, he’s scowling with disapproval.
“Why is her hair not down?”
Solana was partially worried about that. She knows her father has always told her she needs to keep her length so that she can always wear her hair down as it helps to “hide how fat your face is.”
She doesn’t know how wrong or right he is about that, but she’s wanted to cut it for ages, being unable to do so because she knows it’ll upset him.
Bayley, however, doesn’t seem to give two shits about Xavier’s disapproval. “Updo’s are typically better for formal events. Granted, up or down, she still looks beautiful.”
Solana can’t tell entirely if Bayley is defending her work or Solana. Either way, she has a tremendous amount of respect for this woman who doesn’t seem to give two shits about who Xavier Miller is.
If only Solana could do the same.
Xavier cuts his eyes in Bayley’s direction but says nothing, instead walking over to Solana and whispering in her ear. “You should have started your fast three days ago instead of two. You still look fat. Hold your stomach in as you walk down the aisle.”
Any relief or peace felt from her interaction with Bayley is dead the second those cruel words leave his mouth. As soon as he entered the room, really. But Solana doesn’t have time to be sad, because he moves to drop her veil over her face and loops his arm with hers.
He walks her out of the room, depriving her of a chance to tell Bayley goodbye and thank you again.
Xavier leads her down the hall, a left, and then a right before they’re standing before the double doors that lead to the sanctuary. She wants to ask for a second to gather herself, feeling the panic starting to rise, but Xavier barks for the guards standing outside the door to open said door.
And they oblige without protest.
The veil is more opaque than she remembers, partially obscuring her view of Roman and the others who wait for her at the end of the aisle. There’s a sea of people on either side of the pews, many and most, Bloodline members. But, she can’t focus on that.
All she can focus on is the low, warning voice of her father. “You will please him and do exactly as he asks.” What other choice do I have? “Earn his trust. We will tell you the rest when the time comes.”
Solana would give anything for that time to never come.
And once they reach the end, before he frees her hand for Roman to take it, he snatches the chance to put on a good display of faux love, leaning over for a hug. Solana instantly tenses at his touch.
“Don’t fuck this up,” he whispers and pulls away with a smile that has her empty stomach knotting.
Swallowing, Solana channels her focus back on Roman. Like the past two times she'd seen him, his hair is neatly pulled back, but unlike those exchanges, he’s dressed to the nines. Expensive, designer suit, all black, the only red in his appearance, the red Ula Fala he wears around his neck. Representation of his status as Tribal Chief, his role in his family’s dynasty.
Solana can admit that he looks good. Very good.
If only everything else just wasn’t so bad.
Roman has no reaction at unveiling her, and Solana can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing. She’d like to just say he has no reaction to anything, really, but that’s untrue.
He’s notorious for his angry reactions to the most minute situations sometimes.
So perhaps no reaction is the best reaction she can receive.
Still, it unsettles her. Has she upset him already?
The two of them are directed to kneel by the pastor, or maybe Shaman, or maybe just an official. She’s not really sure, but whoever he is, he wastes no time in starting with the formalities of the wedding. He says many things, but Solana’s mind is elsewhere, not that it’s an intentional avoidance.
Her father reminding her of the fact that she hasn’t had anything to eat for two days is suddenly bringing on the extreme exhaustion and weakness she’s pretty sure she’d managed to put on the back burner in exchange for mental anguish.
She’s so incredibly tired. And it feels impossible to be present for the vows or to stand when she’s prompted so by the officiant. It’s even more difficult to stay cognizant enough to acknowledge what’s being asked of her, forced of her, with a set of “I do’s.”
But, it’s when a knife is pulled out that her face pales, flashes of numerous, previous exchanges where that little piece of silver was used to mentally and physically terrorize her. Roman somehow notices this and quietly murmurs, “relax. It’s tradition.”
Before she can speak, the officiant continues. “Now, as are the ways of our ancestors, we shall seal this union before God, family, and all with blood.” Roman offers his hand, palm faced upward and nods at Solana to do the same. Reluctantly, she follows, eyes shutting, not wanting to see whatever is about to happen next.
“Careful,” Roman warns. She’s unsure who it’s directed to, but it’s followed by a brief, burning pain across her palm. She’s been cut, nothing major, but enough to draw blood.
Her hand is moved followed by instant, coarse, warmth. Eyes opening, she sees that her and Roman’s hands have been joined together.
“In the eyes of the ancestors, you two are now officially bound to one another not just by law, tribal and government, but blood. A curse be placed upon anyone who dares interfere with this marriage.” Separating their hands, Roman takes the red cloth and wipes her palm before his own, tossing it to who she recognizes as his enforcer/cousin, Solo. “And now, you may kiss the bride.”
For whatever reason, probably several good ones, Solana hadn’t thought about this part. The part where Roman would have to touch her, would have to kiss her, in front of everyone.
There’s a quick increase of anxiety and panic that ensues when Roman takes her hand, pulling to force her to angle her body toward him. Her heart is smashing against her chest with the weight of a ton of bricks.
But just as quickly as the anxiety rushed in, it’s gone because Roman’s head dips lower to hers and his lips are on and off her faster than she can process, than she can freak out over.
She’s unsure about this brief interaction, a possible indication he’s just as uninterested in this union as she is.
A business arrangement.
That’s what he called it.
That’s what he called her.
Even her hand in his as he leads her down the aisle, stoic expression the polar opposite of one would expect for what should be the happiest day of someone’s life.
She wonders if he views this as the exact opposite.
Because Solana certainly does.
————
Despite her best efforts to power through, the weakness gets worse and is complicated by a sort of dizziness that makes Solana partially grateful her arm is linked with Roman’s. She tries not to show that she’s leaning more on him than her own two feet, not trusting them to give out on her.
But, this man is perceptive as hell, she should know this. One doesn’t get to be where he is, accomplished all he has by being oblivious.
He’s escorting her into the reception area, already lively and full of people, most of which she doesn’t know, many of which she’s not sure she wants to know.
But instead of leading her toward an individual or group of individuals, he pulls her to the side, asking in a low but steel voice. “What’s wrong?”
Solana stills. The last thing she wanted to do was bring attention to herself, and that’s exactly what she’s done. Trying her best to do damage control, she answers in as firm a voice she can muster. “Nothing. I’m just—I’m just tire……” Free hand to her forehead, Solana only recalls her eyes briefly closing before her body sways into something hard and firm, arms around her, holding her up.
Roman says something, calls for someone, but Solana is solely focused on centering herself.
A woman is suddenly standing before her with a deep, beautiful complexion similar to her father’s. However, that’s where the similarities stop, because this woman and her bold makeup is absolutely stunning.
“You don’t look well,” is the first thing to leave the woman’s frowning mouth.She takes the back of her hand to Solana’s forehead and offers what could be perceived as a sincere, sympathetic smile. “Girl, when was the last time you had something to eat?”
Solana manages to answer, unfortunately being honest when she should probably lie. “Y-yesterday, I think. Maybe—maybe the day before.”
A deep frown falls on her face, but Roman is the first to speak. “Why the fuck haven’t you been eating?”
It’s the irritation and anger in her voice that makes her wince, but Solana can’t account for what makes her eyes dart over to where her dad and brother are watching closely. She does her best to redirect her gaze before Roman notices, but it’s a stupid thought.
He sees everything.
His expression turns dark as he mutters something she can’t hear and then directs the woman. “Naomi, take her to get something to eat.”
Naomi. That’s her name. For some reason, it just fits her. Naomi places her hand on the small of Solana’s back, gently taking her from Roman’s grasp as she starts to guide her away. “Come on. There’s definitely plenty of options to choose from.”
Meanwhile, Roman sets his sights on another goal, knowing Naomi will see to it that Solana is taken care of.
Xavier isn’t a hard man to find. He’s laughing it up with some of the other guests at the wedding who aren’t members of the Bloodline per se, more along the lines of allies. Not that Roman gives a shit. His stride is intentful and purposeful, Solo naturally flanking at his side, Xavier’s gaze falling on them with an insincere smile.
“Ahhh, the groom. Congratulations—”
“Why wasn’t she eating?” All Roman has to do is nod for the other men to disperse, and like ants, they do just that, leaving him alone with Miller and his boy.
Xavier steps forward, lowering his voice and clearly playing up the facade of a concerned, loving father. “I believe she said something about looking her best on her wedding day. And as you can see, Solana is not a small woman. She probably thought that was the best and quickest way. Poor girl.”
Roman has this thing he likes to do sometimes when people think they can get one over on him. He likes to tap into the deeply rooted part of himself that can maintain his temper, keep him from acting on his emotions, and instill some well crafted self-control. He puts all of that on the back burner in favor of something else almost equally enjoyable.
Playing with his prey.
Roman knew five minutes into the conversation with Miller that the man’s death would come at his hands. Preferably sooner rather than later. Xavier is the type of man Roman hates the most. The kind who fails in all important areas of his life and spends the rest of it making others miserable for his shortcomings. The kind of man who refuses to see the simpleton he has for a son yet seems keen on turning him into a mafia head.
It’s almost comical. The amount of delusion.
Wes also decides to answer, chin jutted, shoulders straightening. This actually is humorous to Roman, the fact this kid thinks that he comes off remotely intimidating. That shit may work on his sister, but not the Tribal Chief.
“Solana’s a grown woman. She does what she wants.”
Xavier shoots his son a warning look. A look indicating that he can’t believe Wes would be foolish enough to challenge the man before him. “Wes….”
This only brings a smile to Roman’s face. He steps toward him, vowing in Samoan. “I’m going to enjoy killing you.” His eyes dart toward Xavier. “The both of you.”
Solo also steps forward, asking in their same native language. “Want me to handle this for you, my tribal chief?”
Roman shakes his head, advising in a deadly calm voice. “Patience, Solo. I’m going to have my fun first.”
Xavier is visibly irked by the conversation happening in front of him that he can’t understand. But, he does a decent job hiding that irritation. “Perhaps I should go check on her—”
Roman extends his arm, blocking the man. “No.”
Xavier pauses. “What?”
Roman is suddenly ready to get the fuck out of here. He promised his cousins that he would go the day without killing anyone, but this fucker is pushing it. “She’s my wife. I see to it that she’s fine.”
Anger flashes in his eyes, but he covers it with a tight smile. “She is my daughter.”
“The same daughter you knew was starving herself yet did nothing about it?” Roman’s retort is blunt and to the point. He may plan to play with his prey, but that doesn’t mean he can’t call this man out on his bullshit along the way.
Xavier paints on a face of shock and indignation at Roman’s accusation. “I did—"
Roman is directly to the point, advising in a way that makes it clear there’s no room for debate. “Solana is my responsibility now. Any issues she has, I will handle. Any threats she faces, I will eliminate.” One glance at Wes shows that the younger Miller is struggling to control his temper, hand clenching and unclenching at his side. The impulsive side of Roman wants the kid to try something. This will be a beating he’ll enjoy. Thoroughly.
The kid is as insufferable as his father.
Roman refocuses himself, talking and directing his conversation to Xavier. “Solana will be unavailable for the next few weeks.”
Roman swears he can see the vein forming in the older man’s forehead. “What? Why?”
“She’s a member of the Bloodline now. She must get familiar with our ways. Any messages you need to relay to her will go through me.”
It’s partially true. But mostly, he wants to fuck with Miller. A man who obviously gets off on control needs to be humbled, Roman knows it must kill Xavier to be humbled by someone younger and more accomplished than himself.
He’s also certain Solana won’t be heartbroken by not being around her abusive piece of shit family.
“I don’t—”
“When she wants to.” He gestures to Solo, explaining, “Solo will accompany her for any outings she has outside of the estate. That includes your home as well.”
Roman is certain Solo, if not for his adept skill at maintaining a poker face, would be looking at him with surprise. He’s yet to discuss this with his enforcer, but Roman’s word is law. So however his cousin feels about it is irrelevant. It’s painfully obvious Solana is incapable of keeping herself safe, hence her need for protection.
Solo would be the perfect person for just that.
Xavier clears his throat, wrinkled hand adjusting, loosening his tie. “Is that really necessary?”
“As my wife, she now has a major target over her head. I won’t take any chances.” Roman’s smile is mocking. “This is your daughter, right? Surely, you don’t want me taking any chances.” Roman adds on, partially to continue to twist the knife but also because it’s the truth. “I will keep her safe.”
Regardless of how he feels about this marriage, Solana is now a part of the Bloodline. That means, just like for anyone else in his family, he’ll protect her with his life. It’s his duty to do so.
Xavier’s deep complexion is tinged red. The man is fired up. But still, he knows better than to express that rage to the man in front of him. “That is—-was—-her home. What safer place is there to be?”
Now, Roman is getting pissed off. It’s obvious by the faded bruises and pure terror that Solana exhibits in the presence of her family that she’s anything but safe with them.
Roman steps towards him. “With me.” Tired of these games, he gets straight to the point. “These are not suggestions. They’re orders. Orders you will obey.” He searches Xavier’s face for any signs of indication that he’d be stupid enough to try something. There’s nothing there. “Am I understood?”
With a clenched jaw, Xavier answers. “Yes.”
Roman’s intense gaze burns into him, his undisputed authority surely a thorn in Miller’s side. “Yes, what?”
“Yes…..my Tribal Chief.”
Roman smiles. Pleased with his assertion of dominance, he turns away, venturing off to find his bride.
Time to get the fuck out of here.
————
Solana spends much longer in the bathroom than necessary. She halfheartedly expects for Roman to come beating on the door, demanding for her to come out and fulfill her wifely duties.
But that moment never arrives, so she values every second of time she’s granted to prepare herself for what she’s refused to think about the past two weeks.
Her wedding night.
Solana knows what’s going to happen, what has to happen, but it doesn’t do anything to help the terror she feels in every corner of her body.
The shower water blends with the tears shed at the thought of what she has to do, the act she can’t even think about without her chest tightening.
She hoped that reminding herself this wasn’t that, that this isn’t that, would help. But, it doesn’t. Because this is Roman Reigns she’s about to be intimate with.
He’s not known for being gentle in any area of his life, and bedroom activities certainly can’t be an exception. That’s when her anxiety grows even stronger, especially as she forces herself to dress in the red lingerie that was provided to her.
The silk robe included provides a slither of comfort, and she makes sure to tie it so it covers as much of her body as possible. A silly act considering Roman will rip it off, along with everything else, the moment he gets her onto the bed.
It’s only when she’s certain she’s stretched out every bit of patience this man is capable of offering that Solana decides she needs to leave the bathroom. Upsetting him is the last thing she wants to do.
So without an ounce of hope that anything moving forward will be remotely good, Solana hits the light switch and opens the door.
She finds Roman sitting almost slouched in his chair located in the corner of the room. He’s lazily scrolling on his phone when his eyes lift and land on her. She stills. There’s a brief second of a delay when he hits the button on the side of the phone and stands up.
Solana refuses to focus too much on the fact that he’s about as covered up as she is, wearing only boxers.
Because of his size, it seems he’s across the room directly in front of her in a matter of seconds. Eyes taking her in from top to bottom, he asks, “you good?”
Far from it.
Regardless, Solana nods.
If only that worked for the head of the table.
She gasps quietly when he brings his hand to her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “I don’t do non-verbals.” His eyes search her face for something she can’t identify. “Words.”
Blinking, she answers with a low, “y–yes.”
He pauses and then demands, “lay down on the bed.”
Solana licks her lips and makes her feet move over to the mattress, climbing on top and clenching her eyes shut as she lays her head back on the pillow.
Her fingers mess with the material of her robe, trying to distract herself from the sound and feel of him climbing on the bed. She doesn’t need to be looking to know he’s above her, intense eyes probably studying her.
His deep voice sounds at the same time she feels his finger glaze across her clavicle. “It’s just sex.”
If only that was true.
Still, she manages to nod, eyes and mouth snapped shut.
Solana takes in a deep breath that makes her stomach cave when Roman’s lips are pressed against the soft skin of her jawline, moving downward at a tantalizingly slow pace at the same moment his hands move to her robe.
She releases another shaky breath as her robe comes undone, revealing so much skin, so much of her she’d do anything to keep hidden away.
A thin sheen of sweat is starting to form all over her body. The room is suddenly much hotter than she remembers. There’s difficulty paying attention to what’s happening because her mind is taken to another place, another time.
A much much darker place and time.
And suddenly, she’s not in Roman’s bed. It’s not him hovering over her, not his mouth on her neck or his hands on her body.
It’s theirs.
His stench is strong and almost sour, breath tinged with alcohol. “You’ve got some fire in you, girl.” A sinister smile reveals yellowish teeth contrasted against pale, dehydrated skin. “But, I like it when they fight back.” His strong fist connects with her jaw, forcing her head to the side and nearly knocking her unconscious. “Rob, come hold her down for me.”
Solana tries her best to stop it, tries to keep it at bay, tries to do what she’s never been able to do prior to this moment but somehow thinks this will be different. It’s a stupid thought, because moments later, she’s hyperventilating, her body feeling like it’s on fire.
“No!”
With strength she didn’t know she possessed, Solana shoves them, Roman, whoever, off of her, scrambling to climb off the bed. She’s standing in the middle of the room, doubled over as the demons overcome her.
Hand to her chest, she starts clawing at her neck.
Deep down, she knew this is what would happen, knew that she’d fall apart the second he started to touch her.
What she didn’t expect was a set of firm, calloused hands forcing her upright, carefully holding her arms away from her neck where she’s certain she just drew blood. And she definitely doesn’t expect Roman’s intense gaze on her, studying her with what one might consider to be concern.
But, Solana is too caught up in her panic attack to know for certain if it’s concern or not as she realizes that he’s talking to her.
His voice is distant but eventually travels close enough where she can make out words. “Breathe.” She’s still gasping for breath, trying to find that place of regulation as he continues to speak to her in an almost soothing manner. But, that can’t be possible. This is Roman fucking Reigns. Nothing about him is soothing.
“Look around the room. Tell me five things you see.”
Solana doesn’t know how, why, or even where she finds the wherewithal to be present for his directions, but she is. She’s even able to follow through. Eyes moving around the room, the first thing she lands on are the double doors leading to the balcony.
With speech still almost an impossible thing, she lifts her arm and points in that direction.
He doesn’t even turn to see what she’s pointing at. “Keep going.”
Confused but also not wanting to make things worse by being disobedient, she scans the room, settling on the dresser. Solana points again.
Roman’s eyes bounce from her eyes to her mouth. “Three more.”
At some point in this random exercise, Solana’s breathing began to regulate, so much so that instead of pointing to the chair in the corner of the room, she whispers, “the c-chair.”
His voice grows seemingly softer. “Two.”
The next thing to catch her attention is the painting on the wall, and it’s after she does so, Roman provides her with a reminder that she still has one more. And when she points to the ceiling fan, he provides another set of directions, tasking her to identify four things she can touch.
She struggles initially, realizing she can use herself, going on and identifying several and actually feeling various parts of herself, like her hair and robe.
And when she’s asked about three things she can hear, it’s only then that she realizes something she’d missed in the midst of following his guidance.
She realizes that she can breathe.
Solana can actually breathe. That anchor isn’t on her chest, weighing her down to a state of unconsciousness, that heat that made her feel like flames were lapping at her body is extinguished.
She almost….she almost feels calm.
While panic was the dominant emotion not even 10 minutes prior, confusion is the primary emotion now.
And it's with partial confusion and partial recognition that she acknowledges softly, “I’m okay…”
He doesn’t say anything, and it’s in that brief time of silence that Solana tries to process what just happened. Having suffered from panic attacks since she was a child, she’s never been able to calm herself down, never experienced one as short as this one.
But he….he just changed that. He just helped her through it.
Shaking her head, she stammers, “how….how did you—”
Solana didn’t realize he was still holding her forearms until she looks down. Roman suddenly jerks and steps away from her, forcing her arms back at her side.
Instantly, she’s contrite. He seems….disturbed. Triggered, almost. “I’m sor—”
“Quiet.” Solana watches with just as much confusion as he moves across the room, dressing himself, back towards her, like he’s physically unable to look at her. There’s a level of aggression in his movement, a wave of irritation radiating off his large being. “Why—why are you….”
She can’t bring herself to finish her sentence, but she definitely thinks it.
She wants to know why he’s leaving, even if it should be painfully obvious.
Truthfully, Solana doesn’t quite understand why she’s suddenly wondering why he’s leaving. It’s obvious she can’t do what needs to be done. More importantly, she doesn’t want to. Him leaving her alone should be sweet relief.
But it can’t be sweet relief because while it may fix one issue, several others are created.
She was told not to upset him.
He’s upset.
She was told to please him.
He’s far from pleased.
She was told to do whatever he asked, and she’s done the opposite of that.
So far, Solana is failing. She’s failing miserably, and that can only lead to one grisly outcome.
“Where are you going?” Asking while holding her robe closed over her body, she weakly reminds, even if it kills her to do so. “We—we have to—”
“You think I’m dealing with that shit again?” Roman snaps, finally turning to look at her. “I can’t even fucking touch you without you having a nervous breakdown.”
His words, while true, leave a sting. It’s also a bit confusing. How is this the same man who only minutes ago talked her through her panic attack with such patience and compassion.
She suddenly feels even more embarrassed and stupid.
“But, we’re—”
“I can get pussy anywhere, preferably without the headache of dealing with someone clearly unstable.” Solana still isn’t quite sure how to take his sudden change in demeanor. Roman finishes dressing and curtly informs, “the room on the end of the hall on the right is yours. Don’t still be in mine by the time I get back.”
“When are you—” The sound of his heavy double bedroom doors slamming in the wake of his exit prematurely silences her question.
It’s only when she’s certain that she’s alone that Solana breaks down again.
He’s upset.
She’s upset him.
Nothing ever good ever came out of an angry man. Not for her, at least.
Her mind creates and races with a million and one thoughts regarding not about where he’s going but what will happen when he’s returned. She wants to believe he’s going somewhere to work off his anger, but experience has proven she’s the way that men work off their anger.
Roman indicated that day in the library that he wouldn’t put his hands on her, and while she wanted to believe he was being honest, this was also before she pulled this. He has every right to be upset, but that anger and not knowing what will come from it….it terrifies her.
It terrifies the shit out of her.
Falling to the floor, legs against her chest, she sobs into her legs, one thought and only one thought on her mind now.
What the hell did I get myself into?
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Better with them than with you
Here Mc is woman
Warning: grammatical errors, English is not my native language
Tags: @huuvu
PART II | PART III
Mc POV.
—Help them... that's why I chose you
—Mc… you… are a descendant of Lilith
Confusion and speechlessness was how I felt... but... I had the feeling that this was a sentence...
—Lilith!
I heard Lucifer exclaim with happiness and then hugged me with fervor... while the cold and emptiness ruled my body... I also heard the rest of the brothers happy for Lilith, except Satan... then... the next thing I can remember was being in the common room from the house of lamentations surrounded by smiles and praises from Mammon, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, Leviathan... Lucifer and... Belphegor... were fighting to sit on my sides, while they praised me and talked about Lilith... How long has it been since the revelation?
My gaze was fixed in front, on the other large piece of furniture, Diavolo was smiling with his charming smile, Barbatos with his cordial smile and... Satan with an expression of empathy and slight sadness... Why are you sad, Satan? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?
Barbatos in summary said that he could no longer return to my original timeline… I felt like my soul fell into the abyss as I continued standing…
—I want to return to the place where they don't know who my ancestor is.
—I want to be treated like before the revelation
—I don't want to continue hearing about Lilith or being compared to her.
—I am not a replacement…
—Will Simeon and Luke hate me if they find out that I share blood with that angel who caused the brothers' fall? Nobody should know
They were the things that constantly prevented me from sleeping at night while I cried like a stupid girl, but as if he knew I was staying up late, he knocked on the door of my temporary room and said my name with affection and a certain air of sadness, every time I opened it. At the door, there he was... Satan with a book in his hands... it became a routine... Satan would come, we would read a chapter of a book and then cuddle and he would say sweet words about me... the others... they continued talking about Lilith, they bought me clothes adorable and angelic looking, they were aware that that was not the type of clothing I liked
More than a few people missed that this was Lilith's favorite style, as well as how my hair was the same color she had... that same night they mentioned it... I bought some hair dye and grabbed the kitchen scissors... The next day I entered the dining room with the opposite color to how I had it and with very short hair. The scandal that arose at that moment was great and Asmodeus recovered the "beautiful" original color of my hair with a potion.
No matter what I do... they will find a way to keep me looking like Lilith so I gave up and let them use me however they wanted.
Even Simeon commented that I was like an angel "Please Simeon... don't keep thinking about it... you could know who my ancestor is and I don't want you to hate me" I repeated in my mind, I feel like a criminal for Lilith's actions even if I don't I committed them. Is it because I cooperated with her to help the brothers? Why am I proof that she came out the winner and free from her punishment? The weight of keeping Lilith's secret tortures my body, I want to cry... scream... hit something... talk to someone... Satan was not an option, I was afraid that because of that he would have an attack of anger and fight with the brothers, definitely Barbatos and in Diavolo especially were not options, I didn't even want to think about how they would react, Simeon and Luke less so and as for Solomon I didn't know whether to even hint at him, I didn't want to involve him in a personal problem of that caliber.
Michael… when Michael apologized for the actions of Lilith and the brothers I cried, I just cried while he hugged me, Michael really… I…
—Lilith!
Six of the brothers exclaimed in surprise as they observed her sister alive in front of them. They did not hesitate to run towards her and hug her while Satan and I watched the scene in surprise. I could swear I felt Satan's hands squeezing mine with comfort.
—Why are you still here? You better not get your hopes up and leave as soon as possible and take THAT Satan with you
They were the first words I crossed with Lilith alone.
How are you Satan?
Of all of them, the one that worries me the most is Satan, every time Ppyong returned I asked him about the avatar, he kept me up to date that he is still in the house of lamentations with the other Lords and Lilith although he only saw her once
Were you able to repair your relationship with your siblings?
The first days in “hell” were difficult… difficult to get used to the fact that the angels are the bad and cruel ones after all in my world they were the ones who supported me, well, most of them… difficult to trust the word of the demons and that they have no other intentions, in my reality, demons are liars and do actions behind the backs of others... hard to believe that here I would have someone that I can call family...
But I quickly began to like this "hell", I don't have to hide who I share blood with as if it were the worst of taboos or a criminal, in fact I don't even care if they call me "Solomon" or "Daughter of Solomon" nor that believe that I am Solomon, I would say that it makes me feel proud, perhaps because I have a good relationship with him and for all the support and help he has given me, I love listening to his stories like a little girl who loves to listen to those stories of her parents, although only distant relatives, I see him as a good father and parental figure
Satan, King Satan, dislikes that even his own subjects are confused about me being Solomon... and I thank him from the bottom of my heart... I really want to help him, help the seven kingdoms... kingdoms... kings... this feeling is... no Mc , concentrate, you can't feel that feeling again... that same feeling that caused you immense pain when the six of them made it more than clear who they preferred.
—There is nothing wrong with falling in love with kings.
Dad please
—Your mind denies it and your heart wants to express a big statement, but he is so hurt that he needs help.
No, it is not that which begins with “L”, it is only companionship and understanding, only that, and there is only sexual act for the “energy”, it is only that for me and especially for them, nothing more
—If it's just companionship, why when you were replenishing “energy” with Satan did Mammon join in and the three of them ended up with a sprained hip?
I don't know, but it's not that word! Wait a minute, did you hear everything?
—Even the angels in heaven would hear Bimet's complaints about how a human managed to "paralyze" two kings, fu fu~, when Leviathan finds out about that and King Lucifer who is waiting for you to wake up, you will have to satisfy two jealous kings
Oh please kings Lucifer and Leviathan have no reason or reason for jealousy, there is not even a hint of romance in this, stop pairing me with kings
—But you would make a good couple with them. Have you not noticed the subtle changes of the kings? Although the other Satan, the magician, that Simeon and even the other Raphael and Michael also have their charm. How about the best of both realities?
Aaaaahhh! I want to wake up!
†~†~†~†~†~†~†
Narrator POV
Intense and fervent
Those were the words with which Mc described the face of King Lucifer who looked at her with such fervor, it did not help that the king was in absolute silence and both were alone in that room, Mc tried to break the tension, however, the silent gaze of the king was more powerful, for a moment the woman remembered the words of her ancestor Solomon
“There is nothing wrong with falling in love with kings”
“Haven't you noticed the subtle changes of kings?”
The human hesitated, but then denied it, she didn't want to get her hopes up again... at that, some light knocks were heard on the other side of the door, it was Gamigin reporting that Ppyong returned with "that" for Mc and then she heard Ppyong and Jjok say good morning to both Lucifer and Mc
The woman felt great relief, but it was crushed by the disgust that Lucifer's face began to reflect
—Yes, he's so jealous that he can't hear "that"
It was Solomon's voice
—It's not jealousy!
Mc mentally remarked to her
Meanwhile with the two kings “wounded in battle”
—His Majesty has a meeting in TWO HOURS and he doesn’t even react! —shouted a hysterical Bimet to Buer who was intrigued and worried about the state of the two kings
On the stretchers were the kings Satan and Mammon, the lascivious faces full of ecstasy of the two rulers and the throbbing lumps under the sheets said it all
—What did you do to keep the two of you in climax? Solomon's daughter only lasted a few hours in that state, but they still haven't reacted —murmurs Buer fearfully
—I also want Solomon to cause those heartbeats in me —complained Sitri clearly jealous
Meanwhile in the Devildom… in Diavolo's castle was the prince of the same name, his loyal butler and the lords, except for Satan.
—Very well, Lucifer and I will go to "Hell" to bring Mc back —said Diavolo happily
N/T: MC! Shit! What the fuck did you do to Mammon and Satan?!
#obey me#om#whb#what in hell is bad#what in “hell” is bad?#om vs whb#om x whb#obey me replaced au#whb kings#whb leviathan#whb lucifer#whb mc#whb mammon#whb satan#om satan#om brothers#om michael#whb solomon#om mc#om lilith#om lucifer#om leviathan#om belphegor#om mammon#om diavolo#om barbatos#om solomon#om simeon#om luke#whb ppyong
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a bit of an angsty ask-- could you do companions react to sole having a panic attack?
Of course! Angsty prompts are my favorite <3
Companions react: Sole having a panic attack
Includes: Cait, Curie, Codsworth, Danse, Deacon, Gage, Hancock, Maccready, Maxson, Nick, Piper, Preston, and X6
Cait:
As long as she’s known Sole for more than a few days she’ll be pretty decent at comfort
She gets it. Panic attacks suck. All she can do is try to make it less-sucky.
Won’t get all sappy or dramatic but will just sit with Sole somewhere and remind them that they’re alright
She also won’t let it overstay it’s welcome either, if that makes sense.
Once the panic attack is over and Sole’s willing to continue Cait will just get up and go along with her day, not bringing extra attention to what happened or trying to talk about it or anything
Curie:
Catch her re-reading (or even writing) notes while Sole’s panicking
Obviously Sole’s comfort is top priority but Curie doesn’t remember everything she’s supposed to do! She’s gotta read up on it!
“Think about something nice… like a field of flowers, or a puppy!”
She's very empathetic so she might end up crying a bit alongside Sole, and will probably tell Sole to just ignore her and focus on themself
Great at talking through emotions with! She'll never judge Sole for what they're feeling, even if it's "irrational" or "dramatic". Emotions are confusing, she gets it!
Codsworth:
Codsworth will do whatever he can to make up for his lack of ability to give physical comfort
Blankets, drinks, distractions via books or games, more blankets…
A lot of verbal comfort as well, but he might gear towards gentle jokes or stories rather than traditional comfort
He will mother-hen Sole for a while, even after the panic attack is over. Acts of service is his love language and he really wants Sole to know how much he loves them!
Might stress-clean afterwards, he’s just really worried about Sole and has a bit of abandonment issues he's gotta work through
Danse:
Surprisingly he’s not terrible at helping!
Gets Sole away from the situation, gives them some water, asks simple yes/no questions, etc. etc.
You can kind of tell he has a mental checklist going on and once he exhausts it he just kinda sits there and waits for the panic attack to end
Other than that he has no real clue what to say, so don't expect much more than a "there, there" and an awkward shoulder pat
He's definitely open for Sole if they need to vent or whatever but he's terrible at letting them know that, so Sole will probably have to be the one to initiate any further conversations about it
Catch him reading some medical book written in the 1900's for advice and going up to Sole like "Have you tried cocaine?"
Deacon:
Uhh. Panic.
Deacon is NOT good with these things! Lots of awkward laughter and (gentle) jokes and tense body language that kinda makes Sole a little more stressed
He’ll get better with time (and practice) though, although he may still need Sole to tell him what they need from him from time to time
He IS good at reading body language and such, so it won't take long for him to pick up details like whether they want to be touched or not
Definitely mentally noting down what triggers Sole’s anxiety so he can help them avoid it in the future
Gage:
Will straight up admit he has no clue what to do.
Doesn’t want to make things worse and doesn’t want to accidentally piss off Sole so he’ll probably just give them space and leave a beer next to them
The best Sole will get out of him is a pat on the back
Does defend Sole from any onlookers and will gently guide them somewhere more private if there are people around when they have the panic attack
To him, he'd be mortified if anyone saw him panicking like that! Catch him telling Sole embarrassing stories about himself so they feel better about being that vulnerable around him (even if they don't mind at all)
Hancock:
I think he’ll be good at recognizing the signs of a panic attack and comforting Sole even if they aren’t super close yet
He’s just the type of guy to get along with strangers, and that goes with comforting them too
He’ll rub Sole’s back and talk them through it quietly without drawing too much attention to it
He’s willing to just continue the conversation or act like nothing’s happening if it’ll help Sole - sometimes ignoring it will make it go away faster!
Generally just lets Sole take the lead and picks up on what they want/need from him
Nick Valentine
Okay we all know he'd be AMAZING at this
He'd notice Sole's anxiety, potentially before they even have the panic attack, and will lead them away somewhere calmer to de-stress
He's great at reassuring them of whatever they need to hear ("It's going to be okay, you're safe, I'm here...) and he'll stay calm and composed in the process
Honestly wouldn't be surprised if he kept like, a stuffed animal or something in his giant coat of his for this reason
Might be hesitant on physical touch, or even eye contact - he's self conscious and afraid he'll freak them out with his eyes or metal hand
WILL let them wear his coat like a blanket though... if they can excuse the smell of cigarettes
Maccready:
He doesn’t know what to do but he can’t just leave them, so he’ll try anything really
Talking them through breathing exercises, keeping them away from crowds/busy areas, patting their shoulder awkwardly, hell he’ll even give them a hug if they ask
Tries to just be there for them, even if he doesn’t really know what to say or do
Might just resort to “keeping watch” by sitting a few feet away from them with a gun, both so they can have their space and so they know they’re safe and he’s still within earshot.
Maxson:
Definitely a “just calm down” / “just breathe” type of guy
Either that or he’ll straight up panic and send Sole to the med bay thinking they're having a heart attack
He’s never really had anyone to role model good responses to these kinds of situations before! He’s trying his hardest but he has no clue what to do
He WANTS to know what to say though, so if Sole explains it to him after the fact he’ll pay attention and use their advice for any future panic attacks
Canonically he views mental health as just as important as physical health, so he will definitely take Sole seriously and do whatever it takes to keep them happy and healthy
Piper:
“Haha what’s wrong Sole?? 😀 … oh shit what’s wrong 😥” type of reaction
Basically it might take her a bit to realize Sole’s having a panic attack, but she’ll do what she can to help once she notices it
Takes “rest and digest” literally - will give Sole food and tuck them into bed if she can
Might try to throw every coping strategy she knows at Sole all at once in hopes one of them will work well
Uhh BREATHING and FOOD and and PET DOGMEAT do you want to go on a walk?? How about some hot chocolate???
Might be a good idea for Sole to make a checklist for her to go down one by one...
Preston:
Great at speaking gently and keeping Sole from panicking more
Slow movements, low voice, maybe holding their hand or rubbing their back comfortingly
He doesn’t always know exactly what to say so he’ll focus on self-soothing for himself to help Sole calm down as well
Things like taking deep breaths so Sole can follow along or going on a walk with them
He's also very respectful of their space and privacy, and will immediately give them space if they ask for it (even though he's almost worried sick about them)
Will reassure them that he doesn't think any differently of them or their ability to lead the Minutemen!
X6:
I think X6 would actually be pretty good at comforting Sole, all things considered
The last thing you need while having a panic attack is other people panicking as well, right?
And X6 will definitely stay calm, that’s for certain.
He might also end up overloading Sole with facts about panic attacks though
Sole will be like “I think I’m having a heart attack” and X6 will respond by giving a list of every single symptom of both to compare and contrast as proof it's a panic attack
You can definitely catch him silently panicking the first time Sole has a panic attack though
He’s not good with emotions man he’s trying his hardest
#fallout 4#companions react#cw panic attack#cait#curie#codsworth#paladin danse#deacon#porter gage#john hancock#nick valentine#maccready#elder maxson#piper wright#preston garvey#x6 88
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Anime Convention (feat. someone real). Part I
Self-Aware! Flags x GN! Reader
Description: In small towns rumours spread like a wildlife. Especially in an age of Internet .
BSD Cast's presence in your life changed, how other people saw you. Not for the best.
Fears and anxiety eats you up. You are terrified of loosing your new friends, but also feel, that one day, you will be alone again.
After you loose your job, in combine attempt of cheering you up, learning more about real world and came in terms with having fans, Fitzgerald bought all of you a tickets to Anime Expo.
BSD Cast are existed and confused. They want to know, what are you afraid of.
You're nervous and excited. You afraid, that any moment you will make a fool of yourself and they will leave.
You simply hope, that everything will be fine.
Part I Description:
You are trying to get through work day, ignoring rude comments, coming from your co-workers.
Flags don't understand, what is happening to you, and why you allow others to harass you. Either way, they won't allow anyone to upset you.
Warnings: OOC. English is my second language. Forced loneliness in a crowd. (Reader want to have friends, but have troubles with making them). Insecurities (Reader are afraid of being laughed at). Low self-esteem (Reader are sure, that people will think, that they are boring and stupid).
Warnings for Part I: Harassment on a workplace. Fights. Being fired from job. Everyone think, that Reader pay BSD Cast for their help with their body.
| Interlude I| >
___________
Albatross's motorcycle dissapeared around the corner when you opened a café's door.
A familiar jingle of the bells greeted you, when you opened the Sunset Café's door.
Time for work.
You greeted your co-workers. As usual, they have ignored you. And send nasty and disgusted glares towards you, when you passed them.
You went straight to "Employee Only" room. As usual, you had to threw away nasty notes your co-workers put in your locker.
You, now in your uniform, stand behind the counter. As usual, you ignored the whispering, that was coming from your co-workers.
Job sweet job...
_______
You knew, that your new roommates would turn, how people saw you.
You always were a quiet student and co-worker.
Like many other students, you were renting a small apartment, were going to the university and had a part-time job. As many other students, you were quiet one. You study and do your job, and spent your free time in your apartment, enjoying your hobbies.
Your parents always told you, how fun university life was for them. About parties, bar hopping and many other social gatherings.
You tried to attend few parties. You did not like them. They were loud, and, after few drinks, people became too against personal space. You did not have any fun. So, not to torture yourself and not to sour the mood, you stopped attending parties.
You still wanted to make friends. You are not social butterfly, but you are not are dead set on being a loner.
You tried to make friends with other students. At first, it worked. You discussed latest news and everyday problems. You dive in your friends’ hobbies, so you can discuss them. However, with time, you have noticed, that they did not try to know you a little more. Each time you wanted to say even a word about last movie you watched or a book your read, you were being shut down, and “friends” already started a new discussion. And, when you tried to say your opinion on something they were discussing, they ignored you.
They did not noticed, that you stopped hanging out with them.
You tried again.
They were better. They didn't ignore you. They let you talk about your hobbies and listen to your opinion.
And then you learned, that they were laughing at you behind your back.
You stopped trying. You didn't want to be ignored again. You didn't want to be laughed at.
Still, you didn't want to be alone...
But, what next group will laugh at you again?
You choose to listen to your anxiety.
And, once again, as back at school, you became
IGNORED
“Quiet-Nerd-What–was-their-name?”
No one expected you to do anything drastic.
Until, one day, BSD Cast appeared in your living room.
And people remembered, that you existed.
-------------------------
It first, it wasn't too bad.
After Albatross got all documents he needs and finally bought a new motorcycle, he volunteered to constantly give you a ride to the university. It takes you time, before you agreed to his proposal. You were fine going by feet, or taking a bus. But, the new house was further from the university, than your previous apartment, so, to safe time, you agreed to Albatross's proposal.
Now you have more time to sleep and still can get to the university earlier, to prepare for lectures.
You weren't worried about questions, that fellow students would ask. For them, you were practically invisible. They won't pay attention to you, right?
Perhaps, it would be the case. But, you failed to get one thing in consideration.
Sunset Café
Relatively popular place among students. Not only because of delicious pastries, hot beverages and low prices. Mostly, because of owners' willingness to employ students and giving them a normal paycheck. Not enough to buy everything you need, but enough to pay rent and buy a present for yourself twice a year. Besides, employees were allowed to drink beverages and take few pastries. So, free dinner/lunch. Saved money!
So, of course, you were one of the many employees in Sunset Café. And, sometimes, you shared shift with your "classmates". If you were lucky, you could even say a few words to them, and they would react to them.
You didn't quit your job after BSD Cast appeared in your life. Mori, Fitzgerald, Poe and even Mitchell with Steinbeck tried to convince you to quit it. They assured you, that you don't need this job anymore. They have more than enough money to pay for everything you need or want. Everyone told you, that they won't hold it against you, if you quit your job and focus on your studies.
Your decision didn't change. You will work. Not only because you will feel bad for not contributing.
Because you need money for that... And you will feel terrible, taking money from BSD Cast to do it...
BSD Cast accepted it. They only asked you to tell them when your shifts are and text, when you will go home.
You were fine with sharing this with them.
A week passed. Albatross gave you a ride to university. Then, after lessons were over, you will go by foot to Sunset Café and after work take a bus to get home. Everything was fine. Even if other students noticed your "driver", they didn't ask questions. They get used to ignoring you.
And then, one day, after university, you saw Albatross on the parking lot.
_____
"Hey, [Y/N]! How university was, Racing Star?" Albatross waved his hand, smiling brightly. You tilted your head and quickly approach him.
you felt other students gazes on you... since when someone, except professors, knew your name? and since when, you have a person, who will have a nickname for you?
You lean towards him, whispering.
"Albatross? What are you doing here?" You quickly released, that you were rude. "I mean, hello. University was good."
stupid stupid he will think that you are a rude idiot
Albatross smiles at you warmly and took (yours) helmet from his motorcycle.
"Great! I am here to pick you up. Since today, I will also give you a ride to your workplace! And from workplace to home!" He held the helmet towards you.
You took it and put it on.
Albatross mirrored your actions and get on motorcycle.
"Hop on, Raising Star!"
You sat behind him, on your own proper seat, with your feet on your own foot pegs.
You put your arms around Albatross torso.
The motorcycle moved.
many people looked after you two. in a few hours all your co-workers knew about Albatross and you
_______
Questions came.
"Who is this handsome man?"
"Is he single?"
"You get a boyfriend?! You?!"
"Why he is giving you a ride?!"
You shrugged their questions of.
"Just a new roommate. We met online, talked about some anime and manga for a bit (rolled eyes and whispers of 'useless nerd'). And about few other things. He wanted to move over from his city to this town and wanted us to be roommates. He volunteered to gave me rides."
(whispers of 'And how you are paying for the rides?' you ignored them)
------
A shove in the side interrupted your thought chain.
"Wake up, cheap strumpet! Or are you thinking about all this 'rides' the blonde one gave you? The one in sunglasses." John's gaze was full of disgust. It was clearly visible, that your co-worker, and student from your class, want to spit in your face really badly. Thankfully, he decided against it.
"We will have clients soon. Reminder, not clients, that you are used to. So get back to normal, respected work."
He growled and left to the kitchen.
You wanted to protest, that it was summer. University was over. Most students left, and the Café wasn't that popular among other town's residents.
no clients means more trouble for you
But you stay silent.
You didn't want to lose your job. You need it.
🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️
Albatross parked his motorcycle not far from Sunset Café. He returned to the Café on his own foot. There was a restaurant on the opposite side of the street. And, because they didn't serve any deserts and only could offer Earl Grey and espresso, it wasn't a competitor with Sunset Café.
From said restaurant you can clearly view Sunset Café, and see, what was happened inside.
Albatross choose the closest table to the window. He sat down, ordered a sandwich and start observing. His friends will join him soon. For now, he must look after you.
He clenched his teeth, when he saw, how that man shoved you. Albatross gad no idea, what he was telling you, but you looked uncomfortable. And silent. You didn't try to protect yourself.
Albatross doesn't understand. Why you were so silent and don't protect yourself? Why you don't ask them for help?
Albatross doesn't have answers yet. But, he promised, that today he will protect you.
And other Flags will help him.
🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️
The interest in you and Albatross quickly died. Well, in you the interest died. Albatross still was discussed. Handsome man, dressed in leather jacket and rugged pants, who can ride a motorcycle, tend to get people's attention.
Life became normal again, aside from people, who would beg you to give them Albatross's number.
But then, another "new" appeared in your life.
Homemade meals.
"I knew, that you can have cake with coffee, but it is not a meal, [Y/N]. It is a snack or a treat. So, hush, and take your bento." Yosano wasn't listening to your protest, putting a lunch container into your bag.
Lunches became a norm for you.
If people saw you eating your own food, they didn't question it. Perhaps, they assumed, that after getting a roommate, you start having more money, enough for not to worry about constant saving and searching for low prices. Or, maybe, some people thought, that Albatross was also cooking for you.
But one day, you forgot your lunch at home.
___________
You were working on filling coffee machine, when John called for you.
"Um... Person, who are filling coffee machine... [Y/N], right?"
You nodded.
you were used for people forgetting your name
"[Y/N]... there is some kind of freak with IV looking for you!" John sounded confused.
IV? Doc?
You walked past confused John. He still looked confused. You could bet, that it was equally, because of Doc's appearance and, because there was another non-professor, who knew your name.
he and other of your co-workers were listening on yours and Doc's meeting
Doc does look interesting. Mostly because of IV and jagged teeth. But, you can quickly get used to said looks.
Doc flashed a toothy grin at you.
it made your co-workers took a step back
Doc raised a hand, and you saw, that he was holding a wrapped up bento.
Your lunch, that you forgot.
"[Y/N], silly little Kindly Care, you forgot your lunch."
You nodded, taking it from him.
"Hello, Doc. Thank you..."
idiot. your stupidity made him walk all the way here to give you food. apologize. Maybe, he won't hate you and would simply despise
"I am so sorry for all troubles I..." You didn't get to finish. Doc chuckled and pet your shoulder. His gaze was warm. He didn't look angry. Only happy.
"Don't worry this pretty little head of yours. It wasn't trouble at all. Hey, how soon your shift will end? Maybe, I can wait for you, and then Albatross, you and I can hang out?"
you can felt burning gazes of your co-workers on your back
You wanted to say 'yes, let's hang out'. But, your shift was far from over. He could probably go home. He will go home.
you aren't worse waiting for...
"I will be free in three hours, Doc... Maybe, you should..." Doc's grin became even bigger.
"Neat. I will wait for you."
Doc sat on the table in far away corner.
And you go back to your co-workers.
_________
They literally pressed you against the wall, trying to get answers.
"Who is this creep?"
"You have another friend?"
"Another roommate?"
"How big the flat is?"
"Is he the one, who is cooking you food?"
"Are you three dating?"
It was difficult, but you escaped from the encirclement. You ignored half of the questions.
"Yes, another roommate. No, we aren't dating. I won't answer any more questions. My personal life is none of your concern."
maybe, if you say something else... this situation would be solved...
(Kasey, another co-worker, whispered 'what they saw in you? What you give them in return for their help?' you ignored her)
Albatross, Doc and you got ice cream after your shift was done.
_____
You were re-filling coffee machine, when you heard steps coming from behind.
Only your reflexes saved you from having coffee spilled all over you. Kasey's voice was dripping with venom.
"What the matter? Aren't you already dirty?"
She left, stepping on your foot in a process.
You bit your tongue.
Just keep it cool. You need this job.
You need your own money.
🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️
Doc, this time, without his IV, stepped into the restaurant. Albatross waved his hand, without looking away from the Café. Doc sat near his friend.
"Did something bad happened?" asked Doc. Albatross huffed.
"Some guy... John, I think, shoved them. And, yell at them, I guess. [Y/N] looked scared and nervous."
Doc rubbed his temples. He hated all this people, who hurt you.
He saw it. Bruises on your arms.
You assured him, that you were clumsy.
But, doctor and mafioso (especially doctor-mafioso) can see, what bruises came from being clumsy and what was left from being hit.
He didn't blame you for being quiet. In no way it is your fault. But, it was his and others responsibility to protect you.
Because, you are their dear friend.
But, for an hour or two, he still had to wait. He and Albatross need more people to help them.
🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️🧑⚕️
People started whispering.
About you, Albatross and Doc.
Some rumors were tossed around.
Still, it wasn't too bad. Albatross, Doc and almost everyone from BSD Cast wasn't too sociable, for now. So, your co-workers and other students can't get more information from them, and you simply refused to talk.
you are too grumpy... you will never have friends... you will always be alone...
But, loneliness can't last forever.
if you are not talking about yourself, of course
BSD Cast wanted to have jobs.
Lippmann was one of the first, who got it.
New actor in a local theater. A new start. New celebrity. Videos with him became viral.
And said start preferred to spend time with a shy, timid student, worker of Sunset Café.
________
Kasey squeaked, when Lippmann, a new celebrity, walked into the Café.
"Y-you..." she looked at him in adoration. Lippmann sent a smile in her direction.
Simple, polite smile.
He read her badge.
"Yes, me. Miss Kasey, can you, please, tell me, where... [Y/N]!" He noticed you, walking with a tray, full of dirty dishes.
Lippmann smiles at you.
Genuine, warm smile. Smile, that was reserved strictly for you.
You tried your best to stay polite and not to lose balance.
"Hello, Lippmann. Good to see you..."
Lippmann immediately was near you, taking away the tray. You didn't even make a sound, when he brought the tray to the kitchen. He returned to you, smiling.
"Well, Star Performer, ready to have lunch together?"
You mentally scolded yourself. Today you had a short day, and would leave the job earlier, than usual. This morning, Lippmann suggested eating lunch together. You were sure, that he was playing a prank on you. But it would be rude to say no. You agreed.
you hopped, that he will show up
you don't deserve them. someone as bad as you should stay from normal people
You nodded. Lippmann grinned.
"Good. I will wait for you to get ready."
"Thanks. I will be ready in a minute." you went to "Employee Only" room to get your bag and change.
_______
Co-workers gathered their courage to talk to Lippmann.
"Do you know them?"
"Do you know two others, that hang out with them?"
"What are they to you?"
Lippmann's answers were empty.
"[Y/N], few other people and I are roommates. I also see [Y/N] as someone close. Please, stop bothering me. I want to pick up my friend and spend the rest of the day with them."
When you returned, Lippmann took your hand and lead you towards the exit, ignoring your co-workers.
They glared at door, that closed behind you two.
If people could do physical damage with their gazes, you would be stabbed multiple times by their gazes.
(Today, all of them took a dive on social media. Trying to find more people, who knew you. They started with Lippmann socials.)
It was the point of no return
__________
You only wanted to have lunch.
You choose an empty table and was ready to dig in into red bean chazuke (thank you, Mori), when someone slammed a hand on the table before you.
Max, baker, were glaring at you. They were older than you, and not a student anymore. But, they were a star student, back there, and still honored the university traditions.
And they were furious at you.
Because of what people thought you were doing.
"You have no idea, how you disgust me. You are a disgrace to the university." they spit. They grabbed your lunch box and threw it down. Food spilled on the ground. You cowered in fear.
Max spit on the floor.
"Clean it up. Or eat it right from the floor. Livestock aren't allowed to eat as normal humans."
You blinked away your tears.
Hold on...
Just hold on...
You need money...
To pay rent...
🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Doc and Albatross had to hold down Lippmann (and themselves) from marching down to the Café and do something really nasty to the bastard.
Lippmann breathed in and out.
"Why... Why they are hurting [Y/N]? For what sick entertainment?" mumbles Lippmann, tapping fingers against the table. Albatross and Doc didn't answer. They don't need to.
Lippmann closed his eyes. He hated not doing anything.
But, he needs to wait for a bit more. To get more evidence.
He remembered about some of the messages he received on his socials.
About how good you are in... "under the table" job. How much will it cost. If he is disgusted by you.
He simply thought, that it was trolls or haters, who just saw your photos on his page.
But, what if this people knew you and him in real life?
Lippmann breathed in again.
You were the only good part of the Real World. Other real people were huge bastards. He must protect you.
His precious Star Performer.
🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
They found photos.
Photos with you and BSD Cast.
With all of them calling you a great friend and roommate.
There were some videos.
About you being happy to get a gift or hanging out with them.
Fellow students and co-workers don't understand.
How a quiet, timid, shy nerd could get so much attention? Especially from new big businessmen and businesswoman?
They drew the only "logical" conclusion.
You were selling your body.
Now you weren't nameless anymore.
No, now you have many names.
Cheap, livestock, thing, toy... To call the least explicit.
And harassment came.
They didn't harass you on The Internet or tried to cross the line.
Thay said, that dirt wasn't worth to get in jail or any legal troubles. But they left notes, were rude, yelled at you, shoved you. Some people send complaints to the university.
They didn't want to be near you.
Professors didn't do anything. You were grown-ups, can deal with your own problems. But they asked all of you to be quiet. So you won't ruin the university's image of a prestigious, place with good students.
you were ruining not only BSD's Cast reputation. you are ruining university's reputation
Café's manager didn't do anything. Deal with it on your own. But he demand, that you deal with it not in front of the clients. And promised to fire you, if you start a scandal.
You tried to fight. You tried to explain. Show some of your messages with Oda, Mori, Nikolai, Fukuzawa and Fitzgerald.
But there was no way for you to prove, that you and BSD Cast were just friends.
"You have a second phone, where the evidence are!"
"I don't know, what is more disgusting. The number of your 'roommares'.or their ages."
"Don't come near. You are a freak without any morals."
was it your fault?did you deserve it? if you had friends in university, maybe you would...
there was no use in crying over spilled milk
you simply must move on
summer is soon
after holidays, they will forget about you
_______
You and Piano Man were feeding ducks in local park. Both of you were silent.
Silence was comfortable.
And then Piano Man spoke.
"[Y/N]... Rare Coin, can I ask you something?" his tone was gentle. You threw more seeds into the lake, before answering.
"Ask away." You smiled shyly. It's been three months since BSD Cast appeared in this world, in your life.
It felt good to have friendly conversations.
it was nice to have friends
Piano Man licked his lips, before speaking.
"[Y/N], are you alright? You looked... sad for the last few days. Did something happen? Can we help you?"
You froze.
they will hate you. you are ruining their reputation. LIE
"Everything is fine! I just worried about my finals!" a fake smile appeared on your face. Piano Man crooked an eyebrow.
"Kunikida said, that you are doing great. Or are you afraid of getting Not "100 points" but "99.99 points"?"
You nervously nodded.
"I always worried about my finals..."
Piano Man still didn't look convinced.
"And how your relationship with other students and co-workers?"
You swallow. You felt, iike a rock fall down your stomach.
"It's fine. They not really interested in me. I am just another student."
Piano Man looked at you for few moments. He clearly wanted to ask more questions, but decided to drop the subject.
"Fine. I will believe you. But, please, if you have troubles, talk to us. We care about you. We will help you."
You mumble something under your breath.
they will hate you for lying. idiot. go back to your books
Piano Man threw remaining seeds to the ducks. He held his hand towards you.
"Let's go and buy some groceries. Goncharov promised to cook stew for dinner."
_________
You had a headache. You just wanted this day to be over. You wanted to go home. To stay far away from the Café and University. From students.
They were glaring at you. They hated you.
Duncan, your manager, was towering over you. He bared his teeth and hissed.
"I promise you, you won't stay here for tool long. I will make sure, that you will be fired. Who knew, what diseases you are carrying around. I don't want to have my life ruined because of your debauchery."
You close your eyes. You are hated, because of stupid rumors.
And you can't ask anyone for help.
you aren't important enough to be a burden
to ask for help
you want to cry
you fight the urge
don't show weakness
you need this job
to pay rent
to keep your old apartment
The Café door was opened.
🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹
Piano Man didn't walk into the restaurant. He simply stopped before restaurant window and waved his hand, showing Albatross, Doc and Lippmann, that it was time.
Piano Man kept looking at the Café. At place, where you were working. At place, where you were harassed.
He clenched his fists.
He remembered, how you were acting during last finals. They still were in their world, but they could tell, that you weren't panicking or having a meltdown...
And about students.
There was one thing, that concern not only Piano Man, but all members of BSD Cast.
How empty your list of messages were.
Chat with parents. Chat for your group of students. Chat for all university students (only reading, where students can't post). Chat for Sunset Café workers.
And you hardly interacted with any if the chats.
It would be a good thing, if your parents write even one in a month.
Students in a chat ignored you, if you try to ask something, making you send the message multiple times.
Workers in a café left you on read for a good chunk of time, answering the last moment.
And even after they appeared in this world, they didn't see you hanging with someone else, exept them.
Were you bullied? No, not a correct term.
Piano Man remembered bruises. Bruises, that, according to you, came from falling down.
You were harrassed.
How dare they hurt you?
"[Y/N], don't worry, dear, we will protect you."
You were shy, kind, clever and adorable. Yet, some bastards thought, that they can hurt you. They were wrong.
And Flags will show them, how wrong they were.
"Ready?" asked his friends.
Three "Ready" were his answers.
Ice Man just walked into the café. Piano Man moved forward. Doc, Albatross and Lippmann followed after him.
🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹
Duncan was too absorbed in scoffing at you. He didn't notice, how Iceman walked into a café.
Your other co-workers, however, saw his. And tried to stay as far away as they can.
Iceman was a good man. Soft-spoken and kind. He often invites you to drink coffee together, while listening to some of his records.
But he does have an overwhelming presence. With a scar running down his right eye and emotionless face, tall /hit/ man didn't look like an embodiment of friendship.
Duncan continues to spit insults at you.
"You are everything, that is wrong with your generation. You have no honor or any idea, how normal human beings should behave in society!"
You turned away and tried not to pay attention. You failed. Duncan's yells were loud.
Shouts of approval were heard from different parts of the café. Iceman may have looked scary, but people can't pass up the chance to rub your face in your 'inappropriate' behavior.
With a corner of your eye you saw, how Iceman picked up one of the vases, that was standing on each table and had flowers put in it. With vase in hand, Iceman continue walking to Duncan and you.
You shake your head, trying to stop Iceman from doing what he wanted to do.
you don't need troubles at work!
Door opened again.
The Rest of the Flags walked inside. You have a bad feeling about this.
Duncan's loud howls were interrupted by a soft ringing sound. The fiery speaker fell and hit his face against the floor.
Behind him was Iceman with the most repentant expression on his face. But a sly smile was ruining the image.
"I'm so clumsy!" Iceman “apologized,” pointing with his hand at the glass shards of the vase and the scattered flowers, that were lying on the floor.
“But, honestly, he is such a disgusting guy. It was time for him to shut up.”
Your co-workers realized, what happened just at the end of the speech, and the last words Iceman spoke crouching. A tray of dirty dishes, which Max threw from the kitchen door, passed over his head. The tray flew further and landed on John's head, who tried to escape at the wrong time.
The dishes' life came to an end.
The joyful cry “Get them!” that came from Albatross, announced that the calm day was ruined completely, irrevocably and for everyone at once.
Iceman, with a confident, clearly practiced movement, grabbed surprised you, and threw you behind the counter.
In the café, meanwhile, Piano Man was steadily dipping Max into a bucket of dirty water, Doc was methodically beating John with a rolling pin. Iceman jumped over the tables, running from Steve, the only guard who was already out of breath. Lippmann, who had stolen a frying pan from the kitchen in the midst of a fight, was reprimanding something to the conscious Duncan, reinforcing his words with blows from the frying pan. Albatross throw Kasey onto the counter, and, grabbing her by the collar, began dragging her back and forth.
You didn't know what to do. You were never in a fight before, and, if you stand up, you could become an easy target, putting Flags in disadvantage.
Albatross dragged Kasey away from the counter, so he can deal with another waiter at the same time, and you take a better look at what was going on.
Right that moment, Iceman and Steve ran past the counter, and Steve was close to catching Iceman.
You can't let him hurt your friend!
You grabbed a bottle of vanilla syrup and hit Steve with it.
The guard was now cowered in sticky substance.
And owner finally decided to check on what was going on.
_________
You were standing outside Sunset Café, holding your bag.
Flags brought enough money to pay for all the damage they caused. Owner agreed not to press charges.
But you were fired. You were the reason for a fight. Flags didn't hide, that they saw you being harassed by your former co-workers, and they simply can't let them continue that.
Flags said, that they have proofs. And thanks for that, Max, Duncan, Kasey, John, Steve and others won't press charges.
it is your fault your fault you almost get Flags in trouble
You didn't know what to feel.
You won't be harassed anymore.
But you lose a job. And other places in this town aren't interested in hiring students.
And you need the job
You need money
To keep your old apartment
So you will have...
"[Y/N]? Are you okay? " Iceman's soft voice sounded right above your ear. You looked up at him at the rest of the Flags, who were standing behind him. All of them looked guilty. Iceman spoke again.
"[Y/N], we are sorry, that you have lost your job. But, please, understand, that we couldn't just let some idiots harassed you. We wanted to protect you."
Flags nodded in agreement.
You open your mouth and said the truth.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it. And don't worry about my job. I will find another one"
you wanted this. friends, that will protect you. someone, you can protect
Albatross jumped closer to you and put his arm around your shoulders.
"That's the spirit! So, want to grab a bite, before going home?"
Without waiting for your answer, he led you away from Sunset Café. Flags followed after you two.
🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊
Iceman walked behind you. And he was observing. He was glad, that you were safe now. But your attitude... What was going on? Why you let others walked over you?
Right now, you looked happy. But, what if one day... Because of other students...
Iceman whispered.
"We need to discuss it with others. Something is still wrong with Snowflake."
Piano Man, the only one, who heard him, nodded in agreement.
Iceman continue observing you. Albatross was recalling the best moments of the fight, and how cool you were, hitting the guard with a bottle.
You looked embarrassed, but you also participate in conversation.
For now, everything was good.
🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊🧊
You were half-way to the diner, Flags have chosen to grab a bite.
Your last paycheck felt heavy in your pocket.
Last money you earned.
You will spend them on a rent.
On your old apartment, that BSD Cast thought you left permanently.
Because you need this apartment.
Because, after BSD Cast will see, how boring and stupid you are, they will leave. And you will need a place to return to.
But for now, you will simply enjoy your lunch with Flags.
#self-awarebsd#self-awareau#bungou stray dogs au#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd anime#bsd x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader#Self-Aware Flags#Flags bsd#bsd flags#bsd albatross#bsd lippmann#Self-Aware Albatross#Self-Aware Piano Man#bsd pianoman#bsd doc#Self-Aware Doc#Self-Aware Lippmann#bsd iceman#Self-Aware Iceman#bsd flags x reader#bsd albatross x reader#bsd doc x reader#bsd Lippmann x reader#bsd pianoman x reader#bsd iceman x reader
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Hi! Me again 😅 I have another request for Good For It Ari ❤️ Was wondering if you could do a proposal/marriage moment between them too? Wondering if there would be any angst/push back from the town at all/or like how’s the town feeling about now later down the road? Do they still like them or not? Thanks again ❤️
Hi hi again~ thank you for sending this in <3 i love this prompt too! it definitely made me think hard about how Lumberjack!Ari would propose given that his language is comprised of well-placed, intentioned grunts lol but i hope that i did it justice.
Pairing: Lumberjack!Recluse!Ari x F!Reader (Good For It)
Word Count: 1.6k~
Summary: How would Lumberjack!Ari propose to you?
You could read the original fic here.
Disclaimer: ***I don't give any permission for this to be reposted anywhere! Pls do not steal work, plagiarism isn't demureeee***
Reblogs help writers reach more readers who may also enjoy our work. As you like, kindly reblog~ <3
Warnings/Triggers: explicit detailed depiction of smut in a memory, lovie dovie softness, protective and mild possessive Ari showin’ up to wreck you. this isn't beta read, and most likely will read it over again to edit but wanted to put it out for ya'll to enjoy!
The cart wheels rattled along the road pavement as you walked into the store. You could feel some of the speculative stares already as you perused the vegetable aisle.
Looking at some of the fresh veggie options, you could feel your heart thundering heavily and could feel the heat start to envelop your body underneath your clammy palms. Instinctively, you inhaled deeply to alleviate the tension building in your shoulders when you also start to hear the whispers.
You were staring way too long as two identical pieces of squash when you felt the relief come in, “Should I give you three a moment alone?”
Broken out of your dissociative gaze, you scoffed out a laugh while you turned and looked up to find Ari smirking at you. His frame towered over your significantly smaller one as your narrowed eyes met his affectionate glint. “No, you brute– we have concluded our meeting, thank you very much.” You teased back at him with a mocking smile.
Ari only chuckled and put his burly hands on both of your shoulders and squeezed lightly. You could feel the tension slightly leave your body at his touch as you put your best pick of squash in the cart.
Ari did his best to cheer you up whenever the both of you were out together. Even in the most mundane tasks, people seemed to still enjoy torturing you with their prying stares and gossiped whispers. Even though it's been two whole years since you started dating Ari, people still seemed to carry their weighted opinions about your relationship.
The guilt that Ari carried for what happened at the mill has dissipated throughout the years– his feelings no longer diminishing your relationship together as you both worked it out a year ago. You tried to remind yourself that other people had no say or merit in the security of your relationship together. In all honesty, their judging natures have only helped you both grow closer together, never doubting each other’s feelings for the other.
Classically, Ari’s protective nature only grew the more that he noticed the town’s critical disposition towards you in particular. He didn’t much care about their opinions of him, but when it came to you, he felt a heightened sense of defensiveness.
You carried a light in his world that was unfamiliar to his own–he knew the significance of your presence in his life, he felt better and just good with you in his life. He would happily follow you to the depths of any sense of darkness. He understood that your sensitive nature has taken others’ criticisms more personally, but he also knew that he would never let anything come too close, or at least, close enough to jeopardize your relationship.
You were a softness to protect, he cherished you, and utterly adored you. Ari would do anything to preserve that with you and in your shared life together.
Not ignorant to the glances that people were extending towards your direction, he used his commanding physique to his advantage to narrow his gaze directly at those who were brave enough to send stares in the first place. Once they noticed his directive blaze, people would flush and scurry their grocery carts away in a masked hurry.
Satisfied, Ari turned back to you and put an arm over your shoulder casually while placing a kiss on your hairline as you looked at him curiously. “Now, what’s next?”
Surprise bloomed in your thoughts as you noticed that the further you walked into the store, people seemed to deviate their intrusive stares away from you and Ari. Either you were getting good at avoiding them, or you were missing some sudden piece of information.
Your thoughts were curious as you glanced over at Ari from the passenger seat. The breeze from the open windows graced soft wind through his locks, he looked so effortlessly relaxed and handsome.
Eyes still pensive, you couldn’t help the small smile that grew upon your lips.
Ari sensed your stare as he took a glance over at you before looking back at the road. Catching the inquiring glint in your eyes, he glanced back at you, “Everything okay, baby?”
Humming out an affirmative yes, you said simply, “You’re pretty.” A full smile graced your face at his typical responding grunt.
You didn’t forget your earlier thoughts though and continued, “And you’re sneaky.”
Ari released his own slow hum this time that you quickly mimicked. “I don’t know what happened, but something did.”
He didn’t say anything even though you made your speculative tone obvious. He only gave you a soft smile and merely took his right hand off the wheel to extend an open palm. You narrowed your eyes at him again but took his invitation and put your hand in his. Once your palm met his, he gave you a gentle tug to pull you closer to him and you tucked yourself all small underneath his arm while resting your head on his shoulder. Ari’s calloused fingers stroked your exposed skin on your arm intimately while you both sat in silence the rest of the drive home.
You knew how Ari oriented himself to shield you from the nosy outsiders scrutinizing your relationship. While you liked to think that you could handle it all on your own, you secretly enjoyed it when Ari protected you like this. There was just something about his guardedness that made you feel worshipped and cared for– on the flip side, it was also assertive and dominating. It was definitely dangerous, but that's what made him so alluring and even more attractive in your eyes.
Something told you that Ari knew that too. Your mind suddenly flashed back to last night– the room barely lit by the moonlight shining exposed through the curtain. Your legs bent over Ari’s broad shoulders which forced your legs open wider to accommodate for his weighted stature as he held you down for his gluttonous tongue that lapped and sucked at your soaking wet pussy eagerly, over and over again until you felt the day’s stress leave your body with each mind-numbing orgasm that he gave you.
You cleared your throat as you felt your breathing shift momentarily, your body instinctively reacting to the memory as you fidget closer to him. It was like he knew what you were thinking as he released what sounded like a knowing hum at your movement and kissed your temple tenderly.
Finally reaching your shared house, you giggled as Ari took most of the grocery bags from the back of the car and ducked his head as he entered. The rest of the evening was spent cooking dinner together, a favorite pastime that the both of you loved to do.
It was later when you were resting on the couch, both of you stretched out leisurely. You were unwinding from the day, already in your night clothes (you in your camisole and underwear and Ari wearing only sweatpants as you bullied him into being shirtless for the remainder of the night). Your legs entangled together with your head resting on Ari’s naked chest while he held you closer on top of him. He had one long arm wrapped around your waist while his other hand stroked and played with the back of your hair lazily. A calming and grounding feeling overtook your body at the sensation. Your favorite movie was on, but with Ari’s soothing touch and his soft heartbeat thudding underneath your ear, you could feel your eyelids getting heavier.
A frown settled on your face when you felt a sudden weight and cooling feeling on your hand that was resting on Ari’s shoulder. Your sleepy eyes glanced up towards the limb and widened.
There, resting on your left hand on your ring finger, was a simple silver band with a round stone just glimmering at you with how it shined underneath the warm light from the living room lamp.
Not really registering what you were looking at, you rose up from your lazed position on Ari’s chest suddenly to pull your hand closer to your face. Almost as if you couldn’t get closer to it, you inspected the jewelry on your hand as if it was magic. Your shocked eyes met Ari’s equally sleepy and rested gaze as he took in your reaction humoredly.
“Ari…what–,” you started with awe in your voice. Ari took your left hand away from your stunned face to bring it to his soft lips. Your breath hitched as he kissed the ring on your finger solidly.
“From the first day that I met you, I knew that I wanted you. To this day, even though I already have you, I still want you. But, I also need you.” Your eyes glittered with tears at listening to his affection-coated words. He would never really admit it, but his blue eyes also glittered with his own.
“I love you. And, I think that you may need me too,” his deep-toned voice was rasp with desire as he continued, “if you’ll have me.” He placed another sincerely soft kiss on your ring finger and continued placing kisses up all over the inside of your wrist.
His other hand wiped at the tear that fell and you grabbed his large hand before he could pull it away. There were so many things that you wanted to say but your voice locked in your throat. You took his large hand in your own to kiss his own ring finger softly with a whispered “yes.”
Ari’s mouth opened with his own gasp at the feeling of your plush lips on his skin. Hearing your tender response, Ari allowed his own gentle smile to grace his content faced expression as he pulled you down to clutch you desperately close to him. Pressing soft kisses on each other’s exposed skin periodically, you held each other for some time, your newly sparkled hand intertwined with his.
A/N: AHHHH, their softness really just kills me. And the NEED argh, i wrote it and also dyin' from the sweetness of this drabble. pls let me know your thoughts, they are so welcome. <3 hope you enjoyed!
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Hii I just discovered your blog through your Sleep Token writings and I just have to say they’re really good!!! I love the way you write the boys especially iv in His Mark. I love when boys are like ‘quietly possessive’ I think it’s cute af.
Sooo which got me thinking about how the other 3 would mark the person they’re interested in/have a crush on..?
Their necklaces? Gift one of their Rings? Secret little gifts? Go slightly stalker mode? Idk but anyway would love to hear and read your writings and thoughts💕
Thank you for reading and being so sweet. I loved writing this🤍✨
Vessel
As I said, he is a quiet type of possessive in my eyes. His whole persona screams that he doesn’t need words if he wants to be intimidating. And while he’s calm about you interacting with other people for the most part, the moment he changes his mind or has enough with someone trying to shoot their shot with you, he is up and slowly walking your way.
His claim on you is in form of lovebites. Try to convince me that the boy is not into biting. That’s part of his love language. So a bruise on your neck or collarbones keeps all the lurkers away. He gets more creative in places that others might not get to see. But I wholeheartedly believe that he’s out there creating love hearts from his kisses on your thighs. Your skin is a canvas for him.
But he’s also pretty touch-starved so if there’s only the closest people on the team there he is holding your hand. Through it all. No matter what he is doing his palm is extended towards you and he won’t be settling until you either wrap your hand around his finger - that would make the wires in his brain spark - or just feel your much smaller hand pressed against his palm. So by all means most people would be more than aware that you’re his and his only.
III
Our little firecracker. He is a lot more expressive with his emotions so if this man feels like someone is getting a bit too close to ya, I would suggest that person looks over his shoulder for a day or two. All 6’4 of him that’s my lucky guess on his height would love it when you wore his clothes and found ways to incorporate something that is his into your outfit
A shirt of his you liked when you were on a date? Say no more. You would find it casually left in a place you would no doubt see it. Still smelling of him. A new hoodie the band was working on putting out? “Model it, baby, it looks better on you regardless”.
And now I imagine how he would halt when he saw you in his clothes for the very first time and how this need to see you in them was fueled. He’s trying to make breakfast. Simple pancakes that he had googled a recipe for. Part of him wants to make it special somehow cause it’s the first night that you have stayed over. He doesn’t hear you walking downstairs because he’s too focused on the amount of flowers he needs to use and the chunks that are forming. It is the light chuckle that slips past your lips that has him nearly throwing the spatula your way.
And then his whole body freezes, face going blank as he drinks in the sight of you. “I can change, I just didn’t find any of my clothes”, a light panic sets into you, not wanting to cross boundaries there might be. But III is quick to put everything that he’s holding and within a heartbeat, one of his arms is sneaking over your middle as he swiftly lifts you. You let out a surprised scream as he effortlessly places you on the counter. The biggest grin on his face.
“Do you know how good you look?”, his arms are on either side of you as he leans forward. “iii, I just woke up… my hair…”, you giggle but he cuts you off with a shake of his head, “Is perfect, you are perfect”, he leans in brushing his lips over yours, “Especially in my clothes, fuck me”, his hands move to run beneath the hem of the shirt, massaging your hips with slow circles.
II
He will forever be a secret to me. There’s something so mysterious about him. At times I feel like my INFJ ass can see right through him but then I’m like maybe I am so wrong. 😂
I feel like in a similar way to Vess, he doesn’t go around throwing punches if someone is standing too close to you for his liking. Cause similar to Vess there’s that sense of threat in someone’s silence. He’s a lot more private about his personal life even with people he loves and his affectionate side only comes out behind closed doors.
So if he wanted to mark you it would probably be something small. He wouldn’t go all flashy. Maybe a necklace he wears for most of the shows. Or a little II pendant on a chain. *cue TS I want to wear his initials on the chain around my neck* type of shit. He would love it too. Pulling at the chain ever so slightly when he wants to kiss you. Or simply when he needs a distraction. Slowly calming his racing mind.
I think it’s with quality time and gestures of love that he would show just how much he cares. So if you need a way to calm yourself his shirt is off, he’s laying on his stomach and you sit there, straddling his lower back as you color in his tattoos. He doesn’t let anyone touch them except you. And even if the pattern stays the same he still enjoys seeing the different color combinations you come up with. His little artist.
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pretty sounds | steve harrington x reader
summary you and Steve share an apartment while you're both away in Uni, one night he comes earlier than he should and gets to enjoy himself
warnings fem!reader, 18+ mdni this is just smut guys i'm sorry. english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read!
a/n part 2 is up!
Steve always took his showers in the morning.
You preferred them at night.
Sharing a small flat with him was a quiet experience. He’d spent most of his time out of it anyway, preferring to study at the University library, or at the coffee shop you had down the corner. Or working half shifts in the small record store, where you also worked.
Roommate and coworker Steve were two very different people.
Roommate Steve was prone to laugh at your stupid jokes and watch stupid movies with you on the couch.
Coworker Steve tried not to talk to you that much, scared that if your boss saw you two chatting it up, he’d get accused of flirting with you. Scared that it was painfully obvious to everyone else but you.
But it was impossible for him to not stare at you when you’d come home exhausted after a stressful shift and mutter under your breath how much you wanted a hot shower. Or how he’d wait painfully to hear the record you had been playing while you studied in your room stop, knowing that you were about to knock on his door and tell him that if he had to go to the bathroom he better do it now before you took your very deserved long shower.
He often teased you about how much you’d like to have a bath instead.
You’d laugh it off, even though he was absolutely right.
The truth is, he loves to hear you while the water hits your body.
The bathroom stood between his room and yours.
His bed against the wall, he usually laid down on it with a second hand book about whatever topic he needed to research for his next paper on American Revolution History or European History and its impact in Modern World. It didn’t matter to him, because in the next ten to twenty minutes he could hear you singing to yourself, your voice drowned by the noise of flowing water hitting your wet body. Though he did love it when you’d talk to yourself.
Today was different.
He’d come home later than he usually does, he had spent way more time than he intended stuck in the library trying to write his last paper on the Spanish Republic and he had little to no information on it, and he had exhausted himself enough to go straight to his bed, letting his body hit the mattress without even bothering to turn on the lights.
That’s when he heard the shower turning on.
At least he can hear you sing for him for a bit he thinks.
But he was wrong for once.
You thought you were alone, you thought you could be as loud as you wanted to, or as much as you needed to. The truth is, you had been crushing on Steve for a while now, and sometimes, only sometimes, you fantasized about him. Maybe more than you’ve been proud of.
So now, as you were standing there, with the hot steam hugging all the parts of your body, and the water dripping drow your curves, you started thinking about how it would feel if what was keeping you warm wasn’t the hot air, but him, standing behind you, kissing every inch of your bare skin.
You couldn’t help yourself, not now. So your fingers traveled down your folds, your fingers playing lazily with your dripping wet pussy, circling your clit as you thought of him, soft small moans came out of your mouth. And the hunger only grew, as images of him walking around the flat without his shirt and hair dripping wet invaded your mind. The way his hair sticks onto his forehead every morning, and he always smiles at you before telling you good morning in that husky early morning voice.
It was driving you crazy, so you started touching yourself with more speed, a clearer pattern, tempting your entrance as one of your fingers graced it.
Unknown to you, Steve was laying on the other side of the wall, his eyes opened as he heard you moaning, with each one growing louder and clearer, his mind became clouded, as he felt the way his jeans started to feel to tight on him, he needed to free himself, so he did the only thing he felt like he could. He sighed as his cock hitted his stomach once his pants and underwear laid on the floor. And he began stroking himself, softly, slowly, letting himself be guided by your voice as you whined.
The only thing that made him touch himself faster is when he heard the way your voice moaned his name.
You were so close to cumming, one of your hands had three of your fingers deep inside you, reaching that spot that made you see stars, as the other held the shower head closely to your clit, the vibrations of it making it feel when you closed your eyes that he was the one eating you out. And even after you had comed and you had screamed his name as loud as you could you left it there for a moment, recomposing yourself. Wishing he was there so you could kiss him, wishing he’d feel what you feel.
He did, but you didn’t know, though now he did.
His hands wrapped around his throbbing cock fast, and tightly, he resorted to biting his lower lip so he wouldn’t be a whippering mess, but he couldn’t help himself when he came all over his stomach and he looked down at himself, with the stupidest grin he could fathom.
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dear (ex)lover.
group: stray kids !
pairing: idol!kim seungmin x f!reader
genre: pure angst, letter
warnings + additional info: seungmin is referred to as seungmin and min, seungmin was (and still is) a dick, seungmin is a player, seungmin led reader on, reader reminisces the past, reader blames seungmin for the downfall of their relationship (rightfully so), reader has past trauma from relationships, mentions of waiting till marriage, reader has body image issues, reader has been depressed, reader has trust issues, reader misses seungmin, just a really really sad angsty letter, intended lowercase, written in letter format.
authors note: okay. im so sorry for this... this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)
wc: 1033
dear lover,
why don’t we talk anymore? i remember, you told me i was your best friend once. i remember, i was your best friend before i was your lover. i understand, your love for me is gone now, but weren’t we supposed to be friends? didn’t you tell me we could go back to the way it was? so why don’t you talk to me? why do you avoid my eyes when you see me? why do you ignore my texts?
why do you only speak to me when it’s convenient for you?
i remember when i first opened up to you, my love. i told you i didn’t fit in with the group. i didn't think you needed me, and i didn’t think the others did either. you told me you didn’t know you needed me until i was in your life. do you still need me? why did you love me like that if you were just going to ghost me in the end? we talked about so much. you bought me my wedding ring. i wore my heart on my sleeve for you. you gave me a promise ring. why did you break your promise? why did you write so many love letters to me, knowing that you were leaving in the end?
what did i do to be treated like this? i should have been better to you, right? it’s my fault, right? i had to have done something… right? what did i do? i can do better, i can. i can be a better friend, i promise. you were my first real friend. you held me when things were hard. i need you to hold me once more. you always did my hair all nice to distract me. i miss when you’d braid it. you even played with my stuffed animals with me. you were the first person who accepted me for me.
why don’t you like me anymore? why am i always the one to approach you? did you only speak to me because i spoke to you first? was this all one-sided and you only spoke to me because i annoyed you till you replied? i didn’t know. i didn’t know that i was being annoying. i didn’t realize it. i thought you wanted me too. i’ve been having nightmares again. you told me you’d be there. it’s funny, isn’t it? you promised you’d always be there, but now you’re the cause of them. you broke my trust. you fucked up, and i forgave you. again and again, i forgave you. i took you back for every mistake you made.
why did you take my heart for granted? why did you break me like this? am i unlovable? did you grow tired of me? could you not stand me anymore like the others? the boys told me what you said about me. what you said about my body. i know i don’t look the same anymore, but can’t you still love me? am i really all that different now? or maybe you just don’t want someone who rots in bed all day. yeah, they told me that part too. maybe you couldn’t deal with my past trauma. i’ve lost people in the past like i lost you before. you told me you wouldn’t leave me. not the way they did, at least. but you did. you left, and you ruined me in the process.
maybe i am unlovable. maybe this was meant to happen. was it for the better? did you mean it when you said you loved me those last nights we spent together? did you find it fun? breaking my heart? was it nice to watch me fall apart that night on my bedroom floor? was it fun to use my own pain against me? was it fun telling me it was my fault? did it take some of your guilt away?
i’m mad at you, still.
but a part of me still loves you. a part of me still wants to forgive you, and i don’t know why. i shouldn’t, i know. you don’t deserve my forgiveness. you don’t deserve anything i have to offer. but i still want to forgive you. i still want to love you like i used to. i still want to tell you that im here for you, and i still want to hold you while we fall asleep. i still want to brush away your tears, and i still want to do your skincare for you. but you’re fading away from my life. i don’t know the person i fell in love with anymore, because they aren’t you. i miss his sweet voice, and i miss his melting touch. i miss the sound of his heartbeat, and i miss his heart. but it’s always going to be you, isn’t it? it’s always been you. you’re the person i love most, but the feelings are fading away too. i want to keep them with me. i want to hold it all so tight that your love can’t escape anymore, but you’re gone. you’re gone, and you took my heart with you.
i’m sorry. was i not good enough for you? i wish i could have been the one for you. i don’t know if i’m allowed to say it, but i miss you, min. i miss our late night laughter, i miss our runs to the coffee shop. i miss the bond we had. where did it go? why am i the only one putting effort into this stupid friendship anymore? why do i always text first? why am i begging for you to love me again?
it’s stupid.
this is stupid.
you’re stupid.
i hate you.
i hate you for using me.
i hate you so much for ruining us.
i hate you for ruining what we had.
i hate you for ruining every memory with you.
i hate you for ruining me for anybody else.
you ruined me.
they’ll never be you.
no one will ever be you.
i hate you, kim seungmin.
i hate you.
i miss you.
i miss you, and i hate it.
i hate it.
i hate you.
i love you, your ex lover.
</3
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