#i also tried to find older photos of him to reflect when they would have been together!!! <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lovepctions]

𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗔 📸 𝗧𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝟯-𝟱 𝗣𝗜𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗠𝗬 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗦/𝗛𝗔𝗦 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘(𝗦)

𝒋𝒂𝒆'𝒔 𝒑𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒐. @sturmboe

[716chr]

Chihiro Natsuyaki Novel - “Choose Me!”

Track 2 - 2nd Round

Sunlight filters through the window of the small apartment. 

The shadows of the window’s lattice frame cast striped patterns across the room.

Toys for girls, all of them old and worn, some cheap makeup kits, hand-me-downs from my older sister and two younger sisters, along with my mother’s flashy dresses.

I rummage through them for something I can wear and practice my dance moves on the tatami mat.

Humming along to the idol song playing on TV, I try to mimic the dance moves shown on the screen.

I love dancing.

Because when I dance, I can make people smile.

—— Chii-chan, you dance just like a pro.

That’s what big sis said.

—— Chii-nii, can you do the dance from that one MK55 song? We wanna see it!

That’s what my little sister would request.

I’ll do whatever it takes if it means everyone can clap and be happy.

When I dance, even this small, cramped, shabby apartment becomes my stage.

Sometimes even Mom smiles when she sees me dance.

—— I bet your dancing could make us some money.

When I told her that I got a solo dance part in my elementary school play, she laughed in response.

Right. If I could make money, would that make Mom happy….?

Would she be proud of me?

I wonder if she will finally love me this time…..

—— Wipe that smile off your face right now!

Shortly after graduating from middle school, these words were suddenly thrown at my face.

While I was juggling multiple part-time jobs to help make ends meet, my mother came home furious one day and started yelling at me. Each of her words hit me like a slap in the face.

—— You’re just like your father, nothing more than a lowest-of-the-low scumbag. If you keep this up, you’ll surely become just like that man.

….I was aware that I’m becoming more and more like my father.

Because I didn’t bear any resemblance to my sisters at all.

My dad walked out of our lives when I was too young to remember, and my Mom has always described him as a scumbag.

If I were to dance, my Mom might see me as an even bigger burden. She might not want to come home ever again.

With my mom’s frequent absences and my sisters constantly on edge, I can no longer dance within these walls.

I’ve been sneaking off between work shifts to dance in the alleyways more often. But I can’t change my face, and I can’t stop my body from growing.

….I really don’t want to keep growing.

If I become an adult, I might end up looking even more like my dad than I do now.

——Hey, big sis, how can I change my face…..?

Plastic surgery? But we don’t have that kind of money.

When I couldn’t take it anymore and finally asked my sister, who was living in the same apartment with me at the time, she looked at me with a momentary sadness.

She then said, “I’ll teach Chii-chan about makeup”.

It was able to change my face a little bit.

Cosmetic tools felt like magic wands.

Since Mom has those slanted, cat-like eyes, I tried lifting the corners of my eyes to accentuate them more…..

See? I look a bit more like Mom, right?

As I danced in the corner of the street, my face reflected on the edge of a shop window, I finally felt like I looked the part with my makeup on.

——Becoming a different person like this is fine.

Suddenly, in that moment, I had a realization.

It’s okay for me to not be the real Chihiro.

It’s fine if this Chihiro is made of lies. It’s fine as long as this “me” I’ve created is loved.

I want to be someone who is loved.

Deep inside my heart, where I always felt like there was a cold, gaping hole. If I’m loved, then I’m sure even that place will become warm.

That’s what I thought.

The voices of 133 people can be heard.

Today, the contestants were asked to put up childhood photos on the walls of this lavish TV show set.

We were also asked to write our aspirations by hand and put them next to the photos, so they could be introduced during the program breaks.

There were hardly any photos of me at home.

My big sister, who now lives separately from us, somehow managed to find one and brought it to me, so I made it work.

“Chii, is this your photo!? So cute! Look at you dancing~”

Komu-kun sticks close to my side and leans in to take a closer look.

In the photo, I was dancing with an innocent smile.

I wonder who took this photo.

Maybe it was the father I’d never seen before? Was my mother by his side?

Was she smiling at me in this moment?

“What about your photo, Komu-pi?”

“Yeah, this! ……And this, and this, and this….. Which one do you think is best?”

Komu-kun pulled out a dozen photos. The other contestants around us praised them, saying, “They’re all great!”

In every photo, little Komu-kun was undoubtedly very cute. He was smiling happily in all of them; many were taken of him sitting on his parents’ laps.

“Komu, you sure got a lot of photos.” Another contestant, who was putting up his own picture, chuckles.

“I really tried to pick out the best ones…. But there are still hundreds of photos from when I was little. Pretty crazy, right?” Komu-kun says with a laugh.

Someone else jokes, “Is your house a photo studio or what?”, and everyone started laughing.

But all I felt was a coldness settling in my heart.

……Kids who are loved have it different, even in things like this. For me, it was hard finding even a single photo.

“Chihiro, your smile hasn’t changed at all.”

“You look so happy.”

The people who were teasing Komu-kun also commented on my photo.

I made a dumb joke in return, “Yeah, I’ve got that manly charm now, right?”, but deep inside, my heart hurt.

……I haven’t changed at all, huh.

It’s true that I looked happy in this photo.

Because I didn’t know this happiness I had would soon crumble away. 

——But at this moment, maybe I was truly happy.

“This happiness didn’t really last for long, y’know” I swallowed down the words that threatened to escape me.

Tomorrow is selection day. After the mission song evaluation, the show was aired. 

Many viewers are deciding who to vote for, sorting us out. The number of contestants will be reduced from 133 to just 66.

“Let’s definitely make it through tomorrow.”

Komu-kun said, pressing his shoulder against mine.

Seeing his worried face made me want to comfort him.

So I took his hand, and squeezed it tightly.

“Yeah, both me and Komu-pi will surely make it. Let’s become idols together.”

For that, I was even willing to cut down on my own practice and sleep time in order to teach Komu-kun how to dance.

Komu-kun is an honest person, and he keeps improving steadily, so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

As for me…… As for me?

Can I still make it?

I really want to.

For just a moment, I closed my eyes tightly and prayed.

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3 | Track 4 | Track 5

[zukkaoru]

do you have any thoughts on time skipped knkdz? ada president kunikida has my heart so much i need content of him. also parent kunikidazai has my heart they’re girl dads to me :,)

(not a fic request just a thought)

sorry anon i am a firm believer in dazai not wanting kids 🙏 however i do enjoy ada president kunikida and will happily offer you some other time skip kunidazai thoughts:

kunikida.. struggles at first when he takes over as president. he wants so badly to make sure he's living up to fukuzawa's legacy and doing everything perfect - but exactly how fukuzawa did it instead of doing what works best for him.

all of the ada tries their best to help kunikida realize that they like him as he is and they don't need him to be fukuzawa 2.0; they just want him to be kunikida. but dazai especially, because they all know dazai is the one kunikida will listen to and believe most

they do have a Talk about kids at one point. dazai is convinced that him not wanting them will be a dealbreaker so he avoids that conversation like the plague until he literally can't anymore. but kunikida would rather have dazai, even if that means their family doesn't look like the Ideal Family he planned out

aya stays over sometimes, which dazai likes better as she gets older

aya and dazai had a.. strained relationship at first. because dazai doesn't know how to interact with kids and doesn't trust himself around them. but eventually, once he got over himself and actually had one normal conversation with her, he realized that she's actually okay

when aya is in high school, she comes over to visit and gossips with dazai while kunikida makes dinner

and kunikida helps her with her math homework ofc

back to the ada.. as president, kunikida finds himself turning to dazai for advice and help quite a bit. at first, dazai is put off by this because he does Not want to be the leader himself. he didn't want that with the mafia and he doesn't want it with the ada either

after a few months of dazai pulling away and telling kunikida to go ask ranpo instead, kunikida confronts him about it. and dazai realizes kunikida goes to him for help first because they're partners, not because he's expecting dazai to help him lead

dazai is more than happy to help when needed after that. but kunikida also tries to go to ranpo and yosano for advice when it's something that fits their expertise more than dazai's

of course of courseeee we still have canezai. by this point, dazai has grown used to his cane but he still has bad pain days - especially on days when it rains. kunikida is always more lenient towards him on those days

likewise, kunikida has bad days with his hand tremors, and dazai will force him to take breaks or go home if it's really bad

they're both good at telling when the other is having a bad day with just one look

i absolutely love the idea of them adopting a cat as well,, i've lowkey adopted lena's hc of them finding a cat that is blind in one eye and missing a leg to reflect dazai's disabilities

dazai and the cat take naps in the sun together <3 (kunikida has a photo album on his phone full of pictures of them napping together)

kunikida & dazai's apartment is always always a safe place for any of the agency members to come if they ever need anything. dazai doesn't like having other people in his space but after kyouka comes to them on the brink of a panic attack after being chased by a dog, dazai remembers he does actually like helping the people he cares about. and he accepts kunikida's "always open door" policy

they can't get married and dazai is too wary of commitment for that anyway, so instead of rings they get complementary necklaces. they both typically tuck the necklaces beneath their shirts so few people know they're their and even fewer realize what they mean, but it's less of a "showing off that i'm in a relationship" thing and more of a private agreement between them. they don't need anyone else to know

i'll stop there bc this is longer than i expected but. yeah <3 they <3

[picturejasper20]

So, Vlad Corrupted AU

Words: Around 1940 words

Summary: One day Danny finds Vlad in his mansion a strange state. Vlad's ghost form is drastically different and he doesn't seem remember who he is. Because of this, Danny tries helping Vlad to go back to normal by bringing his memories back. As some time passes, Danny begins to reflect on his relationship with the older halfa and the reasons of why he is helping him, not being sure of why.

-Note that this isn't meant to be a full story. It is more like a ¨pilot¨, if you could say, of the overall idea i have for this AU. I may write a whole story based on it in the future.

Flying as fast as he could, he dodged some floating islands that were on his way, trying to not crash into them from the speed he was going. He already had a lost quite a lot of time having to fight a ghost on his way back home and having released them in the Ghost Zone afterwards. When he had been trying to pack up the things he needed, Jack came, telling him about the new idea for an invention he had come up with. He pretended to listen until he said that it was getting late as he had to meet with Tucker.

That was a lie.

Or a semi-lie, because Danny was indeed going to visit someone, but he wasn’t fully sure if he would call him a ¨friend¨ yet. The nature from their relationship had been pretty weird since this whole thing started.

The teen was carrying a backpack and a bag that had different stuff in them. It was mostly food, some old photos and blankets. It was important for where he needed to go, which had become a routine for him around the last month.

Not arriving on time wasn’t exactly a problem. However, he didn’t want to make the other wait too long neither. He didn’t want him to become worried and go to look for him, specially not in the state he was currently in.

Finally, at the distance, Danny saw the island he was flying forwards to. It was around half of the size of Skulker’s island, with some trees spread around and what would be a hill in the center of it all. It was in a desolated part of the Ghost Zone where the biggest threat one could stumble into was a group of wandering blobs.

Danny flew down to the island to the direction of the hill. He landed and started walking for a few minutes until he came close to a opening cave that was at the base of the hill. He looked around and yelled.

¨Hey, I’m here! I’m sorry that I got a bit late, some stuff happened.¨ He moved closer to the cave, waiting for some movement or response back. ¨Are you here?¨

Some shrieks sounds came from the cave, answering back. Two red pupiless eyes appeared inside the opening, observing at Danny with attention.

¨You can come out. It is just me, it is safe.¨ The teen made a gesture to the being that was hiding to approach him. The entity blinked a few times and then slowly flew to where Danny was, making more shrieks sounds.

The being himself was Vlad Plasmius, also known as Vlad Masters. Except his appearance had some clear differences to the ones he usually had. He was in his ghost form but most of his body looked like a shadow. His red eyes and teeth were the main things that weren’t shadow like. His form was quite taller than his usual ghost form and his hands had sharp point to them, as they were claws. Some parts of his suit and cape were torned but was hard to pick up because of them being the same color.

Vlad flew around Danny while making some chirp and bat sounds. Together they sounded that like actual words, as he was telling something to the teen. He was curious about what it was inside the backpack and the bag, watching them in detail.

The young halfa had found out that the sounds Vlad was actually making was an ancient language called Ghost Speak. When he first heard of this, he started doing more research on it, trying to see if he learn how to speak it to understand Plasmius better but, so far, he had only picked up a few words. For Danny’s luck, the man was still able to understand human language, or english in this case.

¨Yeah, yeah, i know you want to see what i brought this time. Just give me a minute¨ Danny left the backpack and bag on the ground. He opened the backpack, moving things around. He took out a green bowl, showing it to Vlad. ¨These are the leftovers from the stew i had last night. I hope you don’t mind them being cold¨

The older halfa ghost grabbed the bowl and the spoon that was passed to him, chirpping as he did so. He went and sit on a rock, eating the leftovers from the bowl with much pleasure. In meantime Danny continued pulling out things such as blankets, bottles full of water, biscuits and cheese. While searching on his backpack, he touched something thin. He took it out and saw it was a photo of a landscape.

He looked at Vlad, who had finished eating and was now floating around. With a smile, he enthusiastically flew and moved the photo to the other’s eye level for the other to see.

¨Hey, does this look familiar to you?¨ The photo was a field landscape from Wisconsin, with different trees on the side of the road and in between the fields. There were hills in the background. The entire scenario had different shades of green under a clear blue clean sky.

Vlad narrowed his eyes at the sight of image. He grabbed it with a claw, pulling it closer. After what it must have been minutes, his eyes opened wide and faced Danny, chirpping as he pointed at the photo.

¨You know it?¨ He saw Vlad nod his head in response. ¨So you do remember!¨ His expression turned happier, his eyes filled with hope.

That’s another aspect that Danny had learned when he first had found Vlad in this state: The man wasn’t fully able to remember who he was, with only having some vague fuzzy memories in between. He didn’t have an idea of who he was or what had changed his form like that. He even had tried attacking Danny when the teen had spotted him at his mansion on Wisconsin until he was reminded of who Daniel was.

When Danny tried asking Clockwork, he was explained that Vlad was ¨corrupted¨. It could happen for multiple reasons, one of the most common ones having correlation with a ghost’s emotional drive- what motivates them, their main desire- however there could be other reasons for it to happen.

There wasn’t an specific cure for corruption, as it was unique the way it manifested itself on each ghost. In spite of returning from corruption it was pretty rare to happen, Clockwork suggested that the ghost being reminded of who they used to be could be a good way to start, such as showing them things they could be familiar with.

So, for the past month, Danny has been checking up on Vlad and trying to find anything he could about his personal life. The places he has lived in, his family, books he has read…it had been a rather slow process but it seemed to be working so far.

Now he was currently sitting under a tree, resting with his hands behind his head. Vlad was next to him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow, probably being half-asleep. After Danny had told him about his day and the ghost fight he had, the two had fallen into silence, staying like that for a while.

Danny moved his gaze from the green swirls in the sky to the halfa who was beside him. In spite of not remembering well who Danny was, for some reason he seemed have to certain fondness of the teen. He was one of the few ghosts or people that Vlad didn’t jump to attack at plain sight. The young halfa wasn’t sure himself why this happened, why of all the people Vlad would see his own archnemesis as an ally. On the other hand, it was a good thing, as he didn’t want know what would had happened if it hadn’t been the case.

Speaking about that, Danny still wasn’t sure why he was helping Vlad. At first it had been a feeling of pity, because waking up one day having not knowing who you are and having transformed into something else must be really confusing for anyone. But after that it had changed into something different… a sentiment he couldn’t himself explain. Perhaps curiosity to learn more about Vlad… or being the only other halfa he knew oustide of Dani… whatever it was it was unclear for him.

The situation of their current dynamic was hard to define as well. Since Vlad didn’t remember who Danny was, that meant that he didn’t fight nor try to manipulate him. There wasn’t any worry of Vlad coming up with a plan to attack Jack or drag the Fentons into his fruitloop plans. In his corruption state, the older halfa didn’t have much idea of his battle history against Danny and he treated the teen more as a friend.

It had been certainly been… weird, to put it lightly, being able to interact with Plasmius without being blasted through a wall or zapped into unconsciousness. It almost felt nice being able to hang out like this with the millionaire… if it weren’t for the fact that it wasn’t something that the adult ghost had chosen to do, as it was more result of his mind being confused.

Sam and Tucker had suggested Danny to not worry about Vlad considering the bad things he had done, that no one owned him anything. Tucker had even brought up that it could be a good idea to leave him in the state he was in, since Danny wouldn’t have to worry about him bothering him again, and, to Danny and Tucker’s surprise, Sam had agreed with Tucker in his idea.

Part of him wouldn’t deny that his friends had a point. It has been rather quiet ever since Vlad had transformed… however, another part of him felt it wasn’t right to leave him like this. It felt somewhat cruel, even with being a fruitloop archnemesis.

He let out a sigh and moved his hand to the adult halfa’s shoulder, shaking him a bit. ¨Hey¨ The other opened his eyes at the movement, making an annoyed tired growl. ¨It’s getting quite late for me. I think i should get going¨ He stood up from the tree, followed up by his counterpart. As he walked to pick up his backpack and bag, he heard a low cry from behind. He turned around to see Vlad with a sad look on his face, with his ears dragged down. The expression made him look like a kicked puppy.

Feeling guilt in his stomach, he dragged a hand down on his face and went back to grabbing his things. ¨Look, i know you want me to stay a bit longer but i have to go. Remember i told you that i have my home back on Amity Park. My parents are going to get mad if i’m late for dinner¨

He looked at the older halfa again, who was still down with a disappointed expression. He approached him wearing a kind smile. ¨Don’t worry. I’ll be back in two days. Okay?¨

He waited until he saw the other changing his mood, who returned a sad smile and chirped, nodding at Danny.

With a wave, Danny turned to the sky and took off, leaving the island. He looked back at it a few times. Once it was a mere spot in the distance, he faced ahead, accelerating his own speed, hoping that he would reach home in time to avoid getting into trouble.

[estellamiraiauthor]

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 21)

So it’s time for Chapter 21, aka The Date. This is one of the most memorable chapters to me, both because it’s sort of unusual as a relative downtime in terms of the neverending onslaught of angst (sorry), and because this was where I took a break for about 5 years before finally figuring out where I wanted the story to go. (Eternal pantser… I wish I could plot, but alas, I can’t.)

Have a photo of Ochanomizu, one of the several locations for this date, before we dive into spoilers under the cut!

This is a pretty long chapter but a lot of it is kinda fluff, so there’s not necessarily a lot to comment on. Teru’s initial “What in the world kind of date is going to go over well?” worries are very much a reflection of his author! I wanted them to have a good time, but it had to be in character, so couldn’t be TOO ridiculously fluffy?

Teru really tries to be thoughtful here, choosing to take a route that avoids the subway “with its endless stairs and squat toilets” (the Tokyo subway is much better now, but it’s still sorely lacking in accessibility in a lot of ways, and the toilets were downright disgusting back in the day), but he still kind of underestimates how hard something like window shopping is going to be on Rei. It’s not at all his fault, and Rei understands that, but Teru does feel a little guilty… he says here that he wishes he had a car (or a license for that matter), and of course that ties into him actually HAVING a car in the last couple of chapters… maybe not FOR Rei per se, but I think they both make some self-improvements during the time between chapters 32 and 34 to kind of… become the kind of partner they wished they could’ve been for each other?

The music store stuff is mostly fluff, but I really especially love how Rei comes out of his shell a little and messes around on a piano in the middle of the store… and absolutely slays, of course. I’d love to have fanart of that scene. I think it was important to show him both simply having fun with music, and also still being able to play live in some capacity, and to do it well.

There’s a tiny bit of angst when they find a vintage guitar that is apparently something Rei has wanted for a long time… but now that he’s actually found it and can afford it, he can’t actually PLAY it, and that puts a little bit of a sad cloud over the date.

They go to Odaiba… originally this scene was set in Kasai Rinkai Park, which also has a Ferris wheel and is across the bay from Tokyo Disneyland, so you can watch the fireworks for free. But VERY late in the editing process, I realized that the Ferris wheel in Kasai Rinkai Park did not actually exist yet in July 2000, so changed it at the last minute to Odaiba, where the Ferris wheel did exist at the time (but did not exist in 1995, which meant it could be something just for Rei and Teru, since he couldn’t possibly have shared it with Saki). I rewrote the Ferris wheel scene so many times that I always have a hard time remembering whether they kiss at the top or not. There were versions where they didn’t, there were versions where they did. I’m glad I left the kiss in (and this is another scene I’d love art of).

This is also where Teru learns exactly how much older Rei is. He wants a ‘64 Stratocaster because that’s the year he was born, which would make him 36 in 2000. Teru also acknowledges that he would’ve been on the older side as someone still working toward a major label debut at 30. A lot of people wonder why I didn’t just make Rei younger, to prevent all the “ewww yuck age difference” stuff, but it was really important to me that he have that history, that the success he almost had was something he had worked his ass off for for almost a decade and a half… he wasn’t just some teenage prodigy, and the hardships he’s faced up to now aren’t ONLY the ones he’s endured as a direct result of the accident. I needed this character to have this history, and Teru is a full-grown adult, he can certainly decide to be fine with a 15 year age difference.

They then go to a cheap yakitori place for dinner, and Rei tells Teru a little about coming to Tokyo from Aomori when he was 16–not EXACTLY the same as Teru coming from Niigata at 18, but the general experience being something they can bond over, and we get to see Rei a little more relaxed and comfortable again. Honestly, I kind of wish I’d included more little dates or domestic-ish scenes between these boys. If I ever get around to writing that sequel that’s pretty much allll it’s going to be. I just really, really wanted to sell this to a traditional publisher so I streamlined all that stuff to “move the plot forward”. Sigh.

There was actually ANOTHER fluffy scene at the end of this chapter that got cut. The chapter is long already, and that specific scene didn’t really add anything new about either of the characters, so I guess I’m glad I cut it, but it might be a nice thing to get art of someday too. In that draft, when they were eating dinner, Rei said he liked Teru’s nails, which were still painted from their last show but starting to chip, so on the way home, Teru says he needs to stop by the drugstore for something and semi-secretly buys nail stuff and they give each other manicures. The idea is kinda cute, but there was really nothing that that particular scene SAID that wasn’t said elsewhere. It would be wonderfully adorable for Rei to give Teru a kind of shaky, pretty awful manicure but for Teru to wear it for a week anyway, and then for them both to keep practicing on each other until they got REALLY GOOD… but that’s more of a fanfic thing, so it got cut.

Instead, we (and Teru) learn that Rei also writes super mega pop hits and sells those under Chizuru’s name, thereby explaining how he has so much money, and Rei tells Teru that he’s going to Saki’s grave to kind of ask for permission to have a real relationship with Teru. Teru also admits that he does feel sorry for Rei sometimes—he doesn’t use the word “pity,” though, like Rei does—but that the respect he feels is much stronger, and the real reason he’s here.

Random shout-out here to my husband’s grandmother, who inspired Rei’s wheeled cart that he brings out the drinks on. One of the hardest things about sort of physically blocking any scene with Rei in it was that he couldn’t really CARRY anything unless it was something light enough and the distance was short enough that he wouldn’t need a cane or a crutch. But my husband’s grandmother used to put things on a little wooden serving cart and then push it around like a walker. She was still alive when I wrote this, and I really just used it because it seemed like a good idea, but now I’m really glad, because I remember her every time I read this scene.

It’s probably important to note that I stopped writing after this chapter for about 5 years, before coming back to draft the next chapter. When I started writing this, I honestly didn’t know if I wanted these characters to end up together or if I was going to end with them breaking up, but both having become better people for having known each other. In the end, I kinda did both?

But at the time this felt like a weird not-quite end. Teru and Rei are together. They’re comfortable enough together that Rei is taking off the mask and being honest (at least here) about his pain. Kiyomi is still around, but not really as a potential romantic rival. The band is doing well (the “Bara comes back” subplot didn’t exist in that draft, so there was no real conflict there)… this definitely isn’t a happily ever after yet, the story didn’t feel DONE, but I also didn’t know where the characters were headed, and where they needed to go next in order to get there.

This is kind of the end of “Act 1” anyway, and the second part is much less tied to the “Phantom” structure, except of course for the end.

[dear-ao3]

yeah you guessed it we’re in texas. yee fucking haw mother fuckers lets get down and dirty with it. 6 races to go. 3 sprints. 2 triple headers. pedal to the metal, balls to the wall, everything is still to play for. 

today is october 27, 2024 and we are locked and beyond loaded. 

as u may or may not know, the like month we had off was kind of uneventful. obviously we had the daniel and liam swap which ive already covered, but the real extent of the drama was: 

people being baffled about yuki tsunoda flying in economy:

max verstappen went on a rant in some interview about how a man’s looks are not important, its what comes out of his mouth. which is odd for a variety of reasons. especially when you remember that he regularly talks about grindr. (yes hes in a long term relationship with a woman, no i have no idea either) 

george russell posted the most baffling photo on his instagram, with the caption “Autumn has arrived” 

he also ended up accidentally matching with his girlfriend carmen. he claimed that she was going to be the one to change (she did not change)

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he was also then taking photos of carmen the next day for her instagram story and accidentally caught his reflection in the picture. which was funny. 

and then, bafflingly, mercedes decided to post a “russellisms dictionary” of essentially the weird british-isms that george russell says 

moving on from that, pierre gasly tried to steal michael schumacher’s look from approximately 2003

and speaking of the schumachers. mick’s older sister gina got married over the break. which is very nice and very wonderful, happy for her, her dress was actually very pretty (a rarity among celebrities and people related to celebrities. sorry but its true. have u seen what vivian got married to nico rosberg wearing??? if not pls google it and remember that they got married in like idk 2012? 2013?) mick walked her down on the aisle it was very nice very sweet etc etc 

but! there was a rampant rumor that michael schumacher (her father) was at the wedding. why is this a big deal? you might be asking. well remember that he had a skiing accident 11 or so years ago, had a traumatic brain injury and hasnt been seen in public since, all the world knows is Yeah He’s Alive and that's about it. (again id like to note that i am not taking issue with that, im stating facts, his family really doesnt need to tell us anything, this is all just relevant to what im about to say)

well. michael as u may or may not remember has a brother named ralf, also an ex f1 driver, but not even remotely nearly as accomplished as michael (tho they did race at the same time and theyre the only two siblings to both win races in f1) and yes this was the same brother who came out as gay a few months ago.  he is kinda. problematic. not cause hes gay. but for other reasons we dont have time for.

they sort of? look alike??? as in u can tell theyre related but like theyre not spitting images of eachother.

well some people decided to find a picture of ralf at said wedding (a wedding at which no one was reportedly allowed phones, which generally means that michael was probably there) and pass if off as michael which upset the internet to no end and while i don't have any receipts to show you, the general sentiment of the responses were “omg if this is actually him then hes literally fine why did the family lie about it” which:

its not him

who cares what the family said? even if they did lie that's their own business and personally i would not blame them. at the time of said incident michael was, by a very long shot, the most accomplished person in f1 history. u probably don't want to have to deal with the public post traumatic skiing accident 

hilariously though, a few days later, and please keep in mind that this is all according to something that roommate katya said he found on twitter but accidentally refreshed the page before he could screenshot it so i have no receipts to offer here, a photo of michael schumacher from about 1995 was posted in a news article next to a photo of his daughter gina from 2024 and the headline from the news article said something along the lines of “michael schumacher seen out in public for the first time in 11 years” and someone on twitter thought this meant that he had come out as a trans woman? because gina does look a fair bit like michael and thought it was a post transition pic? im not sure either but either way it was hilarious, if not slightly irrelevant to the whole post. but isnt everything on this post.

also related to the schumachers, laila, mick’s girlfriend, revealed that the two of them found one of their dogs on the street or he was a stray and they obtained him. hilariously, michael schumacher also did this back in brazil in like the 90s or the 2000s. 

moving on from that. we have franco colapinto. everyone’s favorite media disaster child. now i Have been meaning to throw this on some of the previous updates But i simply havent had the space or the time so its going here. i know that i have mentioned that franco likes to flirt with the media people. and u can find a compilation of what i am talking about here

well.

you would have if someone had actually made a compilation of him flirting and generally being a little shit. but no one has. or at least i cant find it.

i also unfortunately don't speak spanish, and i know that several people have pointed out that the stuff that he is saying makes the most sense In Spanish and doesnt translate super well all of the time. so i suppose you will just have to trust me here. 

i did find though from baku that he told ted kravitz that he was “talented with his tongue” in an interview. so that’s something.

and he did flirt with a reporter in baku, saying they were crying over his performance and not flirting but he did tell people to buy unofficial williams merch because its “is too expensive, not even Cristiano Ronaldo can afford it, you buy it and you'll be eating just rice for 2 months, don't buy it, buy the unofficial one, it's just the same and is cheaper!" 

in any case, hes a little shit in the media. kind of like sebastian vettel (who was also a media menace. he flirted with the grid girls (who are not a thing anymore) wreaked havoc upon nico and lewis by trying to be their therapist in like 2014-16, and once famously tried to have a threesome with two girls but left because the girls were, in his words, more interested in each other than him) 

so franco posted this on his instagram story 

which translates to “media training day” 

this was quickly followed by this: 

which translates to “you are crazy, how could you believe i was going to do media training? i only drive cars”

and we also had some leo. because of course we had some leo. 

first we had leo in a sweater and kind of stealing chares’s look 

and then we had leo in a sweater at leclerc family dinner celebrating charles’s older brother lorenzo’s engagement 

and we also had charles leclerc in a stupid big hat

charles was announced as a puma brand ambassador.

he was also asked if leo was a puma brand ambassador and he said no, but he Could be, and generally was a proud dad about it

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and fred vasseur saying that he wanted to arrange a dog fight between leo and roscoe next year??

and also between toto and christian. yeah idk either.

in the same interview, charles was asked about his thoughts on fred signing lewis. and this is how the news decided to report his response:

max verstappen released merch. it says “simply lovely” which is one of his catch phrases. 

to do this, he needed to copyright the phrase. 

if you recall. lando norris won the race in zandvoort and after winning he said, over the radio, “simply lovely,” basically stealing max’s catch phrase at his Own home race too. 

daniel said after the race that yeah theyre good friends but max probably wont be very happy about that (or something along those lines) and max basically said that yeah i don't really care i gotta think about how shit my car is right now and not whatever the fuck lando is doing. 

many people were like omg omg max WAS mad about this and ran out to get it copyrighted after lando said that!!! which is false. patents take awhile to get approved. and this patent was applied for in may, approved in august. though i do think its funny if lando knew that max was doing this and was like lol let me Really fuck with him here :) whos to really say for sure tho.

anywhoosies. lewis hamilton is also one of the chairs for the met gala next year. i could try to paraphrase what he said about it but i am not going to, so here was his instagram caption announcing that:

I’m beyond honored to be one of the co-chairs for next year’s Met Gala, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style.” This theme speaks to me deeply. When I started my career I never imagined what I might be capable of beyond my sport. The pressure to conform holds so many people back. Growing up as the only Black kid on the track, so often that pressure got to me. Expressing myself creatively was and still is my freedom from that conformity. For Black people across the diaspora, fashion is self-preservation. Fashion is resilience, and I can’t wait to further explore and amplify our underrepresented voices. Thank you to the @metcostumeinstitute for the platform to uplift Black creatives on this scale.

and he released a capsule collection with dior. as a side note, i was in new york city this weekend and the ads for his dior capsule collection kept jumpscaring me all up and down fifth avenue. 

someone on tumblr? i think??? decided to jokingly start a petition to the australian government about making a day national oscar piastri day to honor his race wins and etc etc and well. turns out enough people signed it so now it legally has to get looked at by the prime minister. of australia. this is what happens when we girlboss to close to the sun everyone.

mercedes posted a video of george russell showing his racing gloves things they have never seen before. which was charming but also kind of insane. also he had weird and different hair and was wearing a zip up hoodie? which theres nothing wrong with but its jarring to see mr tommy hilfiger dressed so casually.

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also speaking of george, he was in a photoshoot for ….well shit i don't remember but it was Something and he looked particularly slutty.  

and he also did this picture which people compared to andrew jacoby (duke of kennilworth) in princess diaries 2

and well, we know that george is not a slut all of the time. if you remember, he recently posted some pictures about him being excited about fall or something. well. theres more.

yeah, frankly i have Absolutely No Idea what is happening here. mostly i want to know what on Earth the temperature is. why is he wearing a giant scarf but no hat? why is he wearing gloves and a scarf but no jacket and the cardigan is undone? and the gloves match the cardigan? but the white corduroy pants clash? and hes holding something warm but wearing gloves?? is he slaying? yes. am i confused? also yes. 

in much sadder news, we have an update on one daniel ricciardo. yes, freshly dropped from vcarb daniel ricciardo. aparently he is alive and well and being featured on his friends instagrams wearing a hat that says “im retired, having a good time is my job” 

and while he was Not going to be in texas for the race (sadly) (he had a special helmet and everything lined up apparently) his brand, enchanté was going to be. and, even more sadly, apparently he was supposed to be honored with the keys to the city during the race weekend. (if you're asking why, daniel loves texas, he goes all out every year, one year he literally showed up riding a horse, everyone joked that he was an honorary texan). so yeah. a lot of sad. im unsure if hes still going to get the keys to the city? i would assume yes, but unclear when.

definitely Not getting the keys to the city are mercedes for their weird, kind of sexual, kind of foursome esque promotional? video? for something??? idk they all look like they want to fuck the cars and george tells mick he wants to dominate him and mick looks like he wants to be anywhere But there. (side note cause i have no idea i don't go into this side of the fandom: do people ship these two? cause in my day and age this would be grounds for like at least 30 ao3 fics alone) 

and since we havent had it in awhile: the government mandated mclaren update!!!

lando and oscar took a photo with a baby, which lando looked positively thrilled about and oscar looked like he would rather be anywhere but there.

and they also did whatever this was. i have no context and no one else does either.

lando did a commercial for polo red cologne which made him kind of look like he was trying to be…well i was going to say a greaser but that's the wrong word. so im not sure. 

oscar was photographed in a white button up shirt. which looks hilariously similar to the generic white button up shirt that everyone else takes pictures in. and i lost the link so just trust me.

and oscar and lando also did….whatever this is together. 

someone on tumblr dissected the (old) williams logo to an insane degree and it apparently is incredibly incredibly lopsided and crooked. doesnt really have anything to do with f1 at all but it is a funny read if you want to read it.

and it was world mental health day. lando posted some things about it and so did george. others might have as well but i only saw these two, which makes sense as they are two of the ones who have talked about mental health kind of extensively. take this as a reminder everyone, check in on your friends! say hi! let them know you're thinking about you!

so every year there is this thing called the race of champions. and I am not overly familar with it and how it works but i do know that a good few years ago mick schumacher and sebastian vettel competed on the same team representing team germany. and next year they are going to do the same thing again! which is cool!

and seb was seen wearing corduroy on corduroy again and was interviewed about who he thinks is going to win the championship. he said he thinks its max. 

and so with that. we can finally get into the real actual race weekend. 

media day

and well. we know this is texas. and everyone goes entirely out in texas. including alpine. who decided to do this.

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pierre later posted a photo series of the texas fits, and managed to post one photo of esteban, with no tag, the only one where he wasn't looking at the camera. 

(they also kind of stole this from red bull a few years ago)

charles and george were asked to try to say lights out and away we go in an american accent. among other things. which was. interesting. i didn't realize it was so hard to say “y’all” for europeans.

alex was also asked to say yeehaw

and george later also said howdy partner, really really terribly.

george was also given a football during a fan stage and quite literally punted it into the crowd.

lewis showed up in all denim

yuki showed up in this slay of an outfit 

carlos and charles were made cowboy hats

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and carlos also turned into a barista to make ollie coffee in the ferrari hospitality

it was alex albon’s 100th race, so he decided to go back to his first ever karting helmet for this weekend:

oscar also had a cool helmet that he is going to wear for This race And the vegas race (because 2 usgps are the same, right? no but i admire him for doing this its funny as shit)

and charles also had a helmet. im pretty sure. well i know he was wearing one. it would be bad if he hadnt. but im writing this on the train and my hot spot gave out so were on train wifi and my links wont open so this will be a surprise when i format everything later. (edit from the future, it was that he put a cowboy hat on his helmet)

and max ran a blue helmet. though it wasn't the daniel special helmet (sadly) it was still cool.

also with helmets come liveries. mclaren did a chrome livery which did actually look pretty cool.

and haas of course did a livery, as they are an american team.

and alpine was orange and totally stealing mclaren’s look. this was because they did a promo thing with the new indiana jones movie (probably cause like every celebrity ever (except nico rosberg) sponsors their team)

haas also got a sim??? maybe??? im not sure that's all it says in my notes and i cant be bothered to do more research on it than that right now, because again, train. 

with our return to texas came the return of everyones least favorite sky sports presenter: danica patrick. remember, we all thought that she got fired earlier in the year for saying something about lizard people but turns out she was just taking a break until texas? well yeah, shes back. (why don't we like her? well aside from the weird lizard people thing despite her herself being a prominent woman in motorsport she doesnt want other women? in motorsport? im pretty sure that's the whole thing???)

and guess who else was back? that's right it was jenson button, danica patrick’s biggest hater. 

and once again, they were the duo that Shouldn't

during the off week they (they being like the motorsport council or something) decided that next year there will be No extra point for fastest lap. 

was this directly related to the Daniel Taking The Point From Lando thing in singapore? undoubtedly. man you really cant let a guy live in his own doomed narrative anymore, can you?

fernando alonso also had an opinion about it:

"there are not many things in formula 1 that are not in spirit of the rules. thats how you win championships. i think what daniel did in singapore is the dna of formula 1"

and of course, there was talk about the swearing and max’s community service penalty. mostly talk with george russell. the gpda director. you know…the drivers union leader???? yeah. here is what he had to say about it:

“it does seem silly that it has come to this. next week we’ll have a letter or something to show where we’re at” (we being the drivers, apparently they are all on the same page about this.) “we’ve yet to speak to the FIA as of yet, but we hope to do so probably next week, maybe in Mexico. collectively we’re all on the same page. next week, we’ll probably formally put something towards [the media] to read from the drivers as a united whole….we don't want to be taking away the heat of the moment emotions that drivers show during a race, and i think it is down to maybe the broadcaster when it comes to the race to choose if they want to broadcast that or not. it is very challenging for the drivers when you have a microphone you're talking with your team, you're in the middle of battle, but equally if its an environment [like a press conference] maybe we have a duty just to be conscious of our words. Next week we will probably collectively have a letter to share.” 

unrelated to that, george also hinted that the mercedes next year might not suck?

and they made mick talk to a remote control car. 

liam and yuki, the new teammates, were being silly at the fan stage because liam said: "we've had more crashes than i can count together over the years"

yuki: "the more we race the more contact we have"

liam: "its always yukis fault"

yuki: "no his"

liam: "obviously we cant to that now yuki"

oscar was aksed about having a rivalry with liam lawson. and he said that there isn’t really one because the cars are on diferent levels

"i kind of hope not, because i think with the differences in car performance. it we're rivals on track, then somethings either going really well for one of us or really badly for the other"

and max continued to cause problems by saying that oscar is Not a number 2 driver.

"for me hes definitely not a number two driver and if i was him u would never accept it."

red bull was forced to address the daniel thing and as expected they did so shittily. they said that his “post-F1 future is undecided.” and had to say he wouldn't be in texas and etc etc

and last but not least. fernando is brat.

sorry for the speed run here, but it is quite literally saturday and i refuse to get behind. the boys are already in mexico and qualifying as im writing this, i gotta speed up. 

so sprint qualifying

remember how i said not even like 2 lines ago that it was saturday night? well now its sunday morning so really, please, just excuse the mess okay. i had a week. but i am nothing if not committed to the damn bit even though i know no one reads this anymore (i do not blame you for that btw, it is a long and slightly terrible post)

in any case. mclaren and and red bull and haas all brought upgrades (and maybe more actually). haas had a lot and i think mclaren did too. which you might think is odd because remember a sprint weekend means that there is only one practice session for you to get your shit together before you need to qualify for the sprint, and that is a challenge when you bring a lot of upgrades that need fine tuning. 

(though i think mclaren also did this in miami? which was a sprint weekend and they managed to win that one, as im sure we all remember or maybe you don't)

in any case. mclaren did Not have their upgrades figured out. haas did though, which was wild because theyre haas. and also the cota track is notoriously bumpy and kind of different from most of the other tracks. crofty described it as having a “relenting, undulating nature” whatever that means.

alex albon decided that he wanted to go for a spin in sq1. martin brundle was unimpressed by this and said “a good car should spin like that.” hes probably right about that. 

most shocking though was that oscar was out in sq1. mclaren Really Really didn't have their upgrades figured out At All. zak brown though decided to undersell that a little by saying “the drivers arent totally happy with the balance o the race car right now”

unshocking was that zhou had no power. as will buxton later said, no matter what upgrades they put into the stake car, it just doesnt want to work. 

unshocking was also that ted spent about three minutes talking about the swiss flag. no i have no idea why. 

and apparently i also have it written in my notes here that gunther steiner is opening a bed and breakfast. interesting. can we please get back to racing? 

keving magnussen tried to get one of the vcarbs in trouble for an unsafe release, martin was displeased with this and was like no. bestie you are wrong. you drive 200kph around this track that release was not unsafe. 

martin was correct, once again.

he was really batting a thousand today. 

im not sure if that is actually how you use that saying but im slightly too lost in the sauce to care about it so.

yuki managed to knock checo straight out of qualifying which was objectively kind of hilarious. later on we had the post race show crew saying that we really Need to get yuki in a red bull to at least do some tests (aparently honda is pushing for this) because liam has done red bull tests but yuki hasnt.

liam lawson also found himself out in sq2, but hewas down in 15th, and directly infront of one oscar piastri in 16th. what was that about the rivalry, oscar???

franco and pierre also almost crashed. and franco cursed about it over the radio: “man gasly. what the fuck? we almost crashed!” but no community service for him….

into sq3. lewis hamilton was pissed that the team kept sending him out really really early. “cmon guys, that was not good” he said once his time showed that he was a whole .7 seconds. george was also p1. 

franco also went spin. thats two williams now if you're keeping track. franco is also the first williams driver to make it to sq3 in 2024

and there were some new (?) camera angles at this race, one was a lower  backwards angle that the announcers did not like because “its like driving backwards on a train” (it is actually kind of cool, makes the cars seem very very fast)

anyway. carlos, lando and charles could Not pass george’s time. but you know who did????

DUDUDUDUDU

MAX VERSTAPPEN

he was back on pole! back like he never left! .012 seconds faster than george! and people predicted that he wanted to make a Statement like lando had in zandvoort.

pre spring race itself there were some other funny things that happened like ruth buscombe talking about franco’s aura

and max gave some slightly longer answers in the press conference, but said that he is still protesting, "hes just not an asshole"im just a good person". 

and also we gotta talk about the ferrari strategy. because ferrari did have a strategy and it seemed to be, no upgrades just a hope and a dream and charles leclerc

which did perhaps turn out to be correct because he qualified third

onto the sprint

so we had max starting p1, george p2, charles p3, lando p4, carlos p5, nico p6, lewis p7, kevin p8, yuki p9 and franco p10. and then you know, everyone else. 

and 19 laps ahead of us.

straight out of the gate lando managed to launch himself forward into p2. which was nothing short of insane. it also left carlos and charles right next to each other. and after charles was done trying to fight george for p3 (and failing) he started fighting with carlos. like really fighting with carlos. like maybe slightly too much fighting with carlos. like i thought they were going to ram the hell into eachother fighting with carlos. 

george, throughout this, stayed in his lance, as hes been doing this year and got a fastest lap. 

which was soon taken by max. 

despite their literal kerfuffles with eachother, carlos and charles both wanted to stop wasting time fighting eachother? 

“weve got to try and get back to the others, if possible” charles said on lap 4

then carlos kind of shoved him slightly off and managed to pass him on lap 6 before saying “lets go and get them guys”

oscar meanwhile had made it to 12th

and there was other Steam brewing down the grid in the cockpit of one fernando alonso who had liam lawson trying to pass him. 

“man” fernando said on lap 9. “the alpha tauri is such an idiot”  

alpha tauri? you might be asking

yeah. that's the old name of the visa cashapp racing bulls. the last person to call them this was james vowels, all the way back in monaco. 

the vcarb social media people had some fun with this when they decided to post this picture of liam and fernando arguing later in the pit lane with this caption: 

oblivious to that though was carlos, who managed to pass george on lap 9. 

there wasn't much george could do about though because he had killed his tires trying to chase down lando and had almost no tires left. “my left front is toast!” he said a lap later, getting overtaken by charles. 

and then oscar got a 5 second penalty for pushing pierre off the track. been kind of awhile since weve had a good weekend of penalties. and this weekend, let me tell you, this was the first of Many. 

charles didn't care about that though, because he put in a fastest lap. 

i was watching with my sister by the way and it was at this point that she said to me “i think charles strategy is don't think just feel” and she was correct. because he was now back to chasing his teammate, absolutely no team orders to be had at ferrari. and charles apparently had slightly better tires.

and while he was doing that. yuki was battling checo. but he managed not to pass. 

oscar arrived at the scene of that crime a moment later. checo was 9, yuki was 10 and oscar was 11. oscar eventually managed to get past yuki.

out in front by the way was still max and lando. and in case you're wondering, since miami, both of them have scored the Exact Same Number Of Points. wild. 

meanwhile the ferraris had stopped scrapping amongst themselves and were now trying to scrap with lando. so we had a three way battle for p2. 

what had happened with mercedes? well they were down fighting for fifth after the tire thing and lewis was mad that people were talking to him in the braking. 

but the battle for p2. 

lando was back a little way from max and just trying to hang on in front of the ferraris. carlos was in front of charles at this point. and then lando locked up slightly on the last lap and carlos got through! but!! charles was unable to! so lando managed to hold on to third!

and then there was an Incident or an almost Incident between charles and lando. charles was behind and trying to pass. right. as one does when they are racing. but then lando took a weird line into a corner and nearly almost brake checked charles who had to swerve to avoid him and was at at him about it.

still! lando managed to hold p3 until the checkered flag which meant: MAX WON!!!!

its been so long since we have said that but MAX WON!!! carlos came p2 and lando came p3. charles came p4 and he was so mad about it that he threw his helmet in the garage.

but at least his brakes didn't light on fire like valtteri bottas’s did on the cooldown lap.

max continued his hatred of sprint races live on air while being interviewed by gunther steiner. 

“you’ve won 11 out of 16 f1 sprints (ever)” gunther said

“yeah,” max said. “maybe because i don't like them”

there was now a 54 point gap between max and lando and as laura winter said it only takes one dnf for this whole thing to turn on its head. 

so lets look at real qualifying

heading into qualifying we now had both haas cars with the full upgrades (previously it had just been nico) and also liam lawson was inheriting daniels 10 place grid penalty for power unit changing plus like another 60 place grid penalty for even More power unit changing. also liam lawson hadnt raced in a car in over a year. 

(and yeah remember fernando was picking fights with him. texas was fernando’s 399th start. liam has had like. 5. maybe fernando just needed someone new to pick on and be evil with? cause remember fernando is definitely a villain. hes incredibly villain. hes just been tame and someone reinvented his social media presence the last few years. but we all remember what he said many many years ago about michael schumacher (?) “i knew he would brake because he has a wife and kids at home”) (the red flags podcast talked about this kind of well actually)

fernando also passed liam coming out of the pit lane.

and you already know that we don't have time as usual so the interesting bits: 

lewis hamilton got out in q1. for the first time ever at cota. “my goodness, what is going on there?” said martin about That. and he ended up in p19 which was a “total shock” (though he ended up starting p17 cause of reasons okay we will Get there). lewis said that “the car was a nightmare. should probably start from the pitlane otherwise i wont be going anywhere” (as in change a lot of set ups before tomorrow)

george also barely made it out of q1 and said over radio at the end “whoa that was a little bit stressful” 

and liam lawson had a fun little moment where he went third fastest, which was “all he wanted to do” according to himself over the radio. essentially he wanted to stick it to red bull that he Can drive and he Should be in contention for the red bull seat. because apparently that is a thing that is happening (despite that checo posted the “im not leaving” clip from the office? friends? i don't know some tv show okay im bad at tv shows don't come for me ive never seen either after danny rics left) 

so liam went through to q2 Despite having to start last because of his p3 and he essentially just helped out yuki by giving him tows, though yuki complained that they were bad tows: 

“tell to liam when he gives me the slipstream, stay in the middle and go to the left at the end of the straight. i was picking up so much dust in the straight” 

despite that, yuki still got out in q2.

kevin magnussen though made it to q3 for the first time this year. incredible. 

pierre had a textbook unsafe release. 

and george was through to q3 but he was suffering and said on the radio “i don't know what we’re missing compared to yesterday” over the radio before he took a little spin into the barriers and effectively ended the session. 

that was bad news for max because he had been on a really really fast lap, but it was great news for lando who had been on pole. 

“mixed day for the brits” the announcers said “lando on pole, george in the wall and lewis p18” 

and that's where we found ourselves for the start of the race

george was starting in the pit lane because turned out that his suspension had been damaged and he needed to repair it. lewis was not starting from the pit line (like he said he would be) he was starting in p17 

and charles, in all his furious glory because need i remind you that he threw his helmet, was starting p4 BEHIND lando, max AND carlos. 

and yet somehow, off the line, he managed to LAUNCH himself into p1.

he being charles.

the launching being from p4 to p1. 

off the line meaning turn 1.

truly it was a sight to see. 

meanwhile, lewis had also managed to jump from p17 up to p12 and it seemed like he was on a regular rampage. 

that is until, he managed to beach himself in the gravel on lap 2, effectively ending his race. 

“That’s so unusual for lewis” said the announcers and they were right because !!! lewis has only had 32 dnfs in his whole career. which has been 18 years now. 

regardless. there was a yellow flag. and a safety car! in this economy! we have had no safety car since Canada! (and this is the longest no safety car steak since 2003)

lando was attempting to say that max pushed him off the track to pass him (untrue) and lance dropped back down towards the back of the grid because he seemingly left the track and gained an advantage over alex albon but then clearly somehow lost that advantage

charles was already over a second ahead of max and had the fastest lap. 

this was when lovely roommate katya said “you know. i too might think that charles leclerc is the seconding coming of christ” 

though hold your prancing horses because carlos was having a problem. 

he had dropped back a little, said he had no power on the corners and that it smelled like fuel in his car. “it smells a lot like fuel in the car guys” he said again on lap 10. he was told to sit tight. there wasn't really much else he Could do obviously but it was still slightly stressful.

while that was happening, zhou took a spin and came back on in p19.

and then ferrari managed to somehow fix carlos’s car. float like a cadillac sting like a beamer etc etc. 

“the ferrari pace is mighty” martin said. “only max can stay near it” 

liam lawson meanwhile had managed to pass fernando for 11th, with no comments this time. liam, btw, was not racing under the number 95 despite being the worlds biggest lightning mcqueen fan. he was racing under the number 30. unsure why he picked that number but. liam. i am disappointed. 

george had managed to get into 15th. remember that he started from the pit lane. he then passed bottas for 14th and starting to chase down franco for 13th. this is something of a usual thing for george when he gets a penalty or a bad start, he becomes an absolute menace. 

meanwhile charles was now 5.5 seconds clear of max. 

and max had some kind of issue that he was told would get sorted out in the pit stop.

george managed to get past franco for 13th.

but he was given a five second penalty for apparently pushing bottas off the track. 

george was displeased. 

“what?” he said, comically. 

“total joke with the penalty george, total joke” toto said over the radio.

so george only then became, somehow, more of a menace as the sole merc left standing. he was offered, btw, lewis’s upgrades after he had crashed in qualifying, but was like yeah fuck that i don't want the upgrades because they don't really work. so he was racing on the singapore spec car. 

in any case! the stewards had not been being consistent with the penalties At All which was apparently going to get discussed in the upcoming union meeting, along with the swearing. 

yuki and nico had a “terrific tussle” but it ended with yuki pitting. still it was good racing, hope you're watching horner!

and then carlos also decided to employ a Good Ferrari Strategy (they had clearly been saving it, those need to charge up like uh idk shells or something in mario kart? idk how mario kart works either sorry maybe IM the one batting a thousand today) by undercutting max on his pit stop. carlos pitted on lap 22. 

charles was slightly displeased. “don't leave me out for too long i don't want to be under pressure” he said on lap 24. 

and then, somehow, mclaren had pace again. and they started talking about something called the germany situation?

max came in to pit BUT the damage had already been done, carlos was ahead, he had undercut him!!!

and charles then came in on lap 26, with ferrari actually listening to him (for once)

pierre gasly had previously been pretty high up in the points but was having a rather rotten sour run of it down on his hard tires, which seemed to be a common complaint from almost everyone, but he went off the track to pass alex albon and then got a black and white flag for track limits, but no penalty…hm.

george was still rage mode insaning. 

ferrari though still managed to have a classic ferrari moment despite how well they were doing because carlos was told “more phase 1 brake release in turn 1” and he said “i don't know what that means.” 

mclaren finally pitted on lap 33. “theyre getting real dramatic on the mclaren pit wall” crofty said. “‘trust the car,’ ‘papaya rules,’ ‘the germany situation.’”

then, pierre got a five second penalty for the alex albon incident.

george, somehow, had gotten up to 6th and was chasing oscar. though he was on a one stop and was just about to come in (along with liam lawson)

the lead at this point was charles, carlos, max, lando and oscar. with lando setting the fastest lap.

and yuki and alex were now under investigation for an Incident with the Track Limits (see i told you there were plenty of penalties this weekend. maybe everyone got upset that kevin had stopped war criming) and yuki ended up with a 5 second penalty for it.

and in case you were wondering, checo (p9) was once again stuck behind franco colapinto (p8) in a race. 

martin told us all that he had tried to introduce himself to franco earlier this weekend, but franco ignored him. he might have thought that martin was trying to steal his umbrella. 

max was also complaining about the hard tires. “these tires just arent good, i cant brake i cant attack i cant do anything”

checo finally managed to pass colapinto on lap 38

yuki was mad that liam had ended up in front of him and he was told that “other car was more powerful than expected” 

kevin magnussen got YELLED AT to box and i literally mean that his engineer was like “YOU MUST BOX NOW” but despite that it was a normal and standard pit stop. 

carlos set the fastest lap on lap 40. charles responded with a faster one. they were still p2 and p1 respectively. 

george pitted and served his 5 second time penalty. he came out in 8th. and yuki took a little spin in turn 1. 

there were now 1.5 seconds between max and lando. who were battling for p3. 

george took the fastest lap on lap 43. he had never before had a points finish after starting any lower than 18th. he overtook nico for 7th and then started to chase down checo for 6th, already lapping one second faster than him per lap. 

meanwhile, lando had drs on max. and they were scrapping around like it was austria again. 

franco then took the fastest lap on lap 48 and he was in p10 so he would get the extra point.

lando was .3 seconds behind max. 

“textbook defensive driving from max” martin said. 

they were still going. lando tried to pass max multiple times, but max was always slightly ahead and lando just ran out of room. he did finally manage to get in front on lap 53. 

but it was off the track.

both had different views.

“he overtook me outside of the track!” max said

“I was ahead at the apex” lando said. 

“he needs to give it back!” max said.

and so they went under investigation. 

mclaren argued that both cars went off the track (because they did) but that  lando was ahead at the apex. 

while that nonsense was happening. esteban ocon went fastest (later franco got mad about this in a post interview he was like he took my fastest lap! why did he pit with two laps left for softs! cmon were supposed to be saving the planet! or something.)

in any case though, lando had exceeded track limits a bunch of times at this point and red bull told max that they were at least expecting lando to get a five second penalty for track limits, if not overtaking outside of the track. so max went flat out chasing him back down.

and george passed checo on lap 56.

lando was indeed given a 5 second penalty.

and he only finished 4.2 seconds ahead of max, so we had max getting p3. 

but more importantly: CHARLES AND CARLOS GOT A 1-2!!!!

“and that's my boy! another win!” charles’s race engineer said. 

lando was not in a mood to celebrate though. “well then i should have given it back shouldn't i?” he asked about the position over the radio, defeatedly. 

“my god that was a hard race,” max said. “bit weird that you can overtake off the track.” 

“well you cant,” his engineer said. 

and while charles took his time waving to his adoring fans, everyone else pulled into parc ferme. 

charles p1

carlos p2

max p3

lando p4

oscar p5

george p6

checo p7

nico p8

liam p9

franco p10

kevin p11

pierre p12

fernando p13

yuki p14

lance p15

alex p16

valtteri p17

esteban p18

guanyu p19

lewis DNF

and jenson button was waiting to interview the top 3

max said that he had opinion on how the overtaking with lando went but he wouldn't say

charles and carlos were distracted taking pictures and made jenson wait lol

carlos said that he did have to settle for p2 but was impressed with the pace and said that ferrari are doing much better this year (remember this car had no damn upgrades just charles a hope and a dream)

charles said that it was a difficult weekend but “well it was a pretty good turn 1, that was what i wanted to do!” and he also said that he is still targeting the WDC title, which he has something like a 2.7% chance of winning. stay delusional charles we love you. 

the trophies were weird and by weird i mean literally shaped like tires. like they were tires. except charles was different. carlos dropped his and it bounced. the reason was that they had other ones but apparently they couldn't use them for copyright reasons? or something. so they got tires. 

also mclaren ended their podium streak.

and ferrari are only 8 points behind red bull in the constructors championship now. 

all in all it was a rather exciting race, for everyont except maybe oscar who said it was “pretty boring. my job was to find pace and keep people behind so that was my hour and a half.” he did also say that maybe lando and max and everyone else who got five second penalties should have “maybe done nascar rules and fought it out on track or in the garage (as in beat eachother up) but some people tried and got community service for it”

liam lawson also slayed. he went from 19th to 9th. in his first race of the season after a year out of the cars. 

he said that he hasnt “spoken to him [fernando] since [yesterday, the sprint] i don't think ive done anything wrong, i expected him to put up more of a fight but he didn't.”

ollie bearman also appeared in the post race show and suggested that he replace will buxton as a presenter for mexico. “haas brought an upgrade this weekend, f1tv brings and upgrade next weekend.” they told him not to change. 

also the dallas cowboys cheerleaders appeared and got james hinchcliffe to dance with them? and he was kind of flirting the whole time? actually they were both flirting the whole time? it was truly baffling. 

but back to racing. lando thought he was in the right with what the team argued but “i don't make the rules.” also the presenters said that he keeps making the same passing move on max and doesnt do it quick enough so max has time to predict it. 

charles was asked in the press conference if his strategy changed because of max. max told him to just say yes when charles hesitated. 

and there was probably more but seeing as we have exactly presently 4 hours and 10 minutes to lights out in mexico and i still havent watched qualifying we don't have time for this. 

we do though have time for one story and that is this:

my dad went on a business trip to austin texas early on monday morning after the race. and the whole time we were joking like oh haha watch dad run into a driver. 

well

only my father could manage to check into the same hotel that liam lawson was checking out of by sheer and absolute coincidence. 

his texts to the family group chat were, well, a little unhinged as he didn't remember liams name but somehow recognized him as a driver (despite the fact that he is probably the most obscure of them right now) and remembered what team he drove for. (ask me how you remember visa cashapp racing bulls but not liam lawson? i have no idea but that's my father for you) but he did tell us that he looked like “the guy from teen beach” meaning ross lynch. i don't know how my father even knew this comparison. he has seen teen beach once and fell asleep during crusin for a bruisin

so a few google searches later he had a name. which he shared with us.

since he was busy packing his car to presumably go to the airport, my dad elected not to bother him (he also couldn't remember if he had raced on sunday and didn't want to go up and be like hey good job! when he didn't know if he had raced) 

but he did take exactly 7 stalkerish photos of him. which he shared with us. which i will now share with you so that you all believe me that this really happened. 

and with that out of the way. ill see you all very very shortly in mexico. 

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

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nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

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then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

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they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

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and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

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but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

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but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

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he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

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and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

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-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[chocodollxren]

Would it be all right to request soft hcs for the third years or first years? Like the ones youve done for the second years?

thank you for the order! here’s the gyokuro tea. the final of the trilogy… or so you think? we still haven’t done soft paternal gyokuro with the staff or ghosts!! that’s completely outrageous, so part four of this order will come soon. i don’t know why but the ramshackle ghosts are s tier.. like in terms of friends the adeuce are top for all the things they do, but the ghosts are just.. family who will never let you down. find part one. two.

𓄹 ❥ 𝘉𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘰𝘧𝘵❦ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘥 𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 ,,

-> teahouse ,, menu ! order up ” guestlist ! ꒱·˚ ,, #O5.12.22🍵 ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵

summary: soft headcanons with third years! the third out of the four parts. these are just fluffy headcanons with you and your upperclassman. no tws, first year gn!reader like in the game.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ TREY CLOVER. ❞

trey is an older brother by heart and will always watch over you in his own way. his little siblings are quite a handful and the way he shows affection to you reflects that of a worried older brother. he asks you if you’ve been doing well, want dessert, makes sure you brush your teeth real well afterwards, and will be available to help you with what he can do.

he’s not as smart as riddle or the others you could go to for help, but he’d definitely make sure to takes things slow and tries to see things from your perspective. he knows not everyone is a genius at studying. he’ll try to take things slow and teach you different ways of memorizing that helped Cater when they were still first years.

absolutely loves watching you eat his cake. actually, he enjoys watching you eat any of his sweets for that matter. he shares a few recipes, not all, family secrets, and likes when you try it out and show him the results! some of his magicam photos are of his desserts and in the smallest corner you can be seen stuffing your face.

he gets annoyed whenever someone takes his hat but when you do it he’s a little more okay with it. you’re like a little sibling, so once you calm down from your energy high he’s able to take his hat back and give your head a tiny flick.

he’s also given you his jacket on numerous occasions. he swears he has given you like five but he’s never seen them, like whenever you’re cold and jacketless he gives you his but the next day you’re still without a jacket? and he’s missing half of his? he’s seen your closet briefly when you asked him to get something and they’re just gone? he doesn’t know you’re just collecting jackets and never returning them.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ CATER DIAMOND. ❞

you will never have a zero social media presence with Cater and Vil. Cater is constantly tagging you, even if you are not relevant with what he uploaded. he loves showing you off to his followers, constantly bragging about you and him, making fun hashtags with the two of you. you’re pretty sure a fourth of your followers came from him.

he can occasionally be a free meal ticket. when there’s a new cafe trending Cay-Cay must be there. he needs his followers to see him eating that totally delicious new ice-cream, but he doesn’t like sweets! no need to worry, his favorite junior, yes ace and deuce know you’re clearly the favorite after beansfest, is readily available to eat the dessert for him! he buys one for both of you to seem cute then just gives it to you.

he’s convinced you to visit paintings with him and talk to them because they might be able to tell you what’s on the test, and that’s much easier than studying or asking riddle for any sort of help at any time. he doesn’t want to be brain dead and he tells you this is the easy way.

your favorite cay-cay really enjoys playing with your hair. if it’s long, he insists on tying it and posting on social media his great skill. if you don’t, he will happily let you do his and tag on magicam how cute you are doing it for him randomly. aren’t you all jealous you don’t have a cute junior? you should be.

he keeps you up with all the drama in school. when you go to heartslabyul and visit his room he has tea prepared, according to the rules “coffee is forbidden. tea must be served at all occasions except for birthdays.” he is ready to tell you all about what happened in class, what his friends of friends said, and how someone has a crush on someone else. he’s one of the four third years that live for this.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR. ❞

he hates everything and everyone but that’s his way of giving affection, staring at you with a scowl and telling you to get lost. that’s also his way of telling someone he hates them but lucky for you he doesn’t try to punch you or turn you to dust like he does to Malleus in his head.

he gets you to run errands for him occasionally and doesn’t ask, he demands. though if any other Savanaclaw student did something similar he would become quite aggressive towards them. he’s your bully, don’t touch his herbivore.

he lets you touch his tail when he’s trying to sleep. he lets you think he’s sleeping but he’s wide awake and may occasionally smack you in the face, very lightly, with his tail. he prefers when you rub his ears when he’s asleep and inevitably drags you down with him to be a pillow.

forces Cheka on you. after spelldrive and another time his nephew visit, you found yourself taking care of the little lion for the next day as Leona had classes and everything productive in the universe to do other than play with him. he eventually came back after you got Jack and Ruggie on the case but you had to stop him from bullying the child. he was almost a decent uncle until he pinched his cheeks and set him on a high spot.

he cannot help you pass your classes, he will not teach you how to stay fit, and he has and will not offer you anything. but in return, he expects you to be there to put him to sleep. you once fell on him and his upper body fell, squashing you. he woke up eight hours later on your legs which were numb and just like Silver he finds them super comfy.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ VIL SCHOENHEIT. ❞ 

oh, you are officially his child just like epel. that’s not a good thing, you’re going to have a strict mom chastising you but only because he loves you. he makes sure you have nice and pretty skin at all times, and that you always have makeup. he considers it a capital top-tier ultimate sin if he sees even a speck of dust on your clothes. although he works you to the bone if you don’t get enough sleep he gets really upset and makes you stop overworking yourself, you can’t get eyebags at your age.

he has taken you shopping on numerous occasions with Kalim and Malleus’ money they gave you for the week. he insists you need to look decent in his presence. whenever you’re done shopping he makes you model and uploads on magicam an amazing photo of himself and you slightly in frame talking about what a great job he did. 3/4 of your followers came from Vil.

he lives for gossip. more specifically, he lives for when you go to pomefiore for spa night. he has cucumber on your eyes and his, facial masks, a bunch of lotion, oils, and two wine glasses. you don’t get alcohol, drink your milk. when you’re laying there with him though you two talk about the recent gossip along with magicam drama and people using his name for fame. he tells you all about his latest shoots and rants about Niege LeBlanche, his mortal enemy.

absolutely does not allow Grim on your clothes and whenever he sees the littlest bit of hair on you he freaks out. he has gifted you quite a few lint roller brushes in hopes you understand what it means to go out presentable. meanwhile you’re wondering if he’s never seen a cat before. they own the house and sit anywhere, you cannot control the fur but he takes no excuses.

go to him for help with anything related to poison. he will initially turn you down, call you a few names because you are not following the routine he gave you, then he teaches you a few things. you should be thoroughly honored, you are in the presence of a queen and should technically kneel before him but he’s very nice.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ ROOK HUNT. ❞

you are always being watched over by your friends and upperclassman, almost literally. everyone looks out for you in their own way, and in Rook’s way he can find you at any time with absolute ease. you don’t know how, he just knows when you need him.

Rook is ecstatic to teach you anything about science, art, hunting, poetry, and while he explains to you he goes off in a french-mixed tangent about how blessed he is to be able to teach you: trying to stop him midway won’t work, he calls you humble and praises you.

also living for the gossip. he knows literally everything and hearing you tell him what you’ve heard he can instantly tell whether it’s true. he enjoys discussing with you how something couldn’t happen or why it was true over some tea. occasionally joins you and Vil for spa night and the three of you just gossip together.

you once went to pet Grim with him next to you and he told you all about how you could skin his fur. if you ever want to put Grim in time out you hand him to Rook for a few hours and Grim will return on his very best behavior. you also find Savanaclaw students running the other direction when they see him with you.

Rook really finds himself happy when you make him lunch. (ive done 300+ rook lessons, i know his dialogue.) a huntsman’s weakness is hunger, or an empty stomach. whenever you give him little treats when he pops out of nowhere he really likes it! you just happened to have a lot of excess cookies once and ever since he loves when you give him treats, he goes on a dramatic tangent on how you’re saving this hungry huntsman.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ IDIA SHROUD. ❞

he already has a little brother so he didn’t really need you at first, but then he saw the light in you. you didn’t mock him for playing games, being an otaku, being an introvert, or using a tablet to speak. he was completely petrified of you originally for being a normie with friends but now he tolerates your existence.

he originally wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole and hid behind literally anything whenever you came to his room, but now he talks to you!! with his voice! don’t touch him for more than five minutes or you will have to restart a week’s worth of progress and he hides from you. he’s already talking to you, don’t push it.

he’s managed to rope you and Azul into a d&d campaign where he acts as the dungeon master. Azul has no clue what’s going on at any time or how the ancient lord killed his character due to not having the holy sword but meanwhile you’re succeeding because half this stuff is influenced by the copious amounts of manga and anime he shows you. you and idia could continue for hours and Azul’s just sitting there utterly confused and after two weeks he comes back beating every boss Idia creates because he’s Azul.

he allows you to borrow his games but do not break them! same with his manga and anime dvds. if you do he will actually cry and look at you as though you kicked his cat. he’s trying his best to socialize with you and him offering you manga is a major progress in your relationship.

sometimes ortho wants to go outside with him, so instead he gets (invited) you to join him in vr he creates with ortho because it’s the closest thing to normal friends hanging out at a cafe as you will get with him for a long time. he gets smug and happy when you tell him how cool the program is, or how great and realistic the world looks.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ MALLEUS DRACONIA. ❞

honestly he’s one of the reasons you’re able to live. Kalim, Azul, and Malleus are your financial supporters because you actually cannot afford a cafeteria meal after Crowley has forgotten to give you money. he’s tried to confront crowley for you but you had to beg him not to destroy the headmage’s office.

you can practically see a tail wagging each time you talk. he looks so monotonous all the time you failed to realize it, but Lilia pointed out how happy he is when you talk. he’s always full focus on your face, attention given completely to you, taking in every word you say and giving his own replies.

he really likes his device he has and you’re like they have tamagotchi here? he really likes showing his to you and loves when you give input on how well he takes care of them! he suggests you get one of your own and even asks Lilia if you can get one after you mention he’s raised his to be cute.

as the only member of the gargoyle research club, he doesn’t really get to talk to others like in a normal club. when you visit him he really enjoys explaining everything and anything about gargoyles to you! please show him any gargoyles in ramshackle, he’s ecstatic.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ LILIA VANROUGE. ❞

did you ever want a dad who suspiciously appears in your history books and can’t cook? congrats, you have him. you’re also never getting rid of lilia, he’s now one of your multiple dads and you do not get a say. he’s ready to fall from the sky and hand you the adoption papers.

absolutely enjoys when you visit the light music room club. he’s showed you his singing before and you thought how could such a small and cute face scream his lights out? please compliment his music taste, he will be happy.

absolutely lives to gossip. Cater knows literally everything and tells it to you. afterwards you tell it to the rest of the guys. Malleus has walked in on the two of you gossiping about someone having a crush on someone else and he swore he understood zero percent of the language you spoke and was convinced the two of you were cursed.

he’s tried to cook for you but you’ve been protected. he doesn’t understand why you’re suspiciously missing each time he cooks. he promises to one day cook for you and tries to bring some to Ramshackle but it always goes missing. Malleus, Sebek, and Silver are your guardian angels.

Lilia can and will teach you everything about history!! he really enjoys helping you learn more when you’re genuinely interested. he’s a fae who’s lived forever and let’s you play with his ears or observed them, he finds you so amusing. especially when you’re so weak but he can throttle the savanaclaw kids with one hand for you.

✎ ˎˊ- "chocodollxren" [choco - doll - rhen] ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵ dn repost. likes/comments/reblogs appreciated; not required. so long as you enjoyed the content.

next up should be filler! an azul, a savanaclaw, a vil + leona, and leech brothers, are being prepared. ((: sorry this is late. i couldn’t fall asleep and then ended up sleeping really late,, i also got completely distracted drawing a certain someone. thank you to everyone for your patience! my event begins on May 24th, I’ll be taking requests until May 23rd. any non-event requests from May 24th to June 7th will not be prioritized until the event ends! hshkjhs unless my event completely flops. im sorry to anyone who doesn’t use automatic read more,, whenever i add the line it cuts my writing and makes the formatting odd??

[youarejesting]

Sly like a... ? Part 2

[Master list] [Sly Master List] Beta: n/a (at the moment) Rating: All Pairing: Hybrid!BTS x FailedHybrid!Reader Genre: Hybrid au, fluff, action, adventure, angst, drama, slice of life. Some marked chapters will contain mature/smut scenes, BUT they will not have plot in those scenes and are 100% skippable without losing your place in the story. Words: 2.1k

Summary: Human’s strive to be better, faster and stronger looking to animal DNA. Thus Hybrids are born. As the rise for designer and Pedigree Hybrids increase, so do the failed attempts. There is one species scientists are unsuccessful in creating, but, folklore says they have been here all along, hiding and blending in with the humans for many millennia. How clever they are.

[First] [Next]

It was your dream to convert a large warehouse on the outskirts of town into a home and education center for Hybrids. Somewhere they could learn to be self-sufficient. You would have professors and volunteers, teaching and fundraising, all for the day you could buy another warehouse on the other side of town. You wanted it to become the norm that these Hybrid facilities would build and grow in every city. Allowing the Hybrids to become an independent race no longer looked down upon by society.

You were on the last day of your heat and craving something savory. As it was late your best option was the convenience store that was always open late.

Things were falling into place as you received an email earlier that day confirming that all the items you had requested were acquired. That meant school books, equipment, and more. You were also granted the first loan for the Hybrids, a loan you would receive every term. The board wanted no less than five and no more than ten participants for an adequate examination of results.

You assumed for the program to be officially approved, you would have to show successful results from Hybrids with different backgrounds during this trial. That meant different ages and different upbringings. Wondering if it was worth visiting the adoption agency or perhaps a Hybrid store, it wouldn’t hurt for more variables.

Shaken from your thoughts by a shadowed figure rustling through the garbage, in a dark alley between the antiques and postal office. Your ears picked up the sound easily, feet scuffing to a halt on the pavement catching the Hybrid’s attention. Their eyes searched the dark for any sign of threat before falling upon you, a deep growl resonating on the wind. It was best to not get involved with stray Hybrids, they tended to be more violent. This is what you were doing the program for, to stop Hybrids from ending up homeless and on the streets. To prove that they aren’t dangerous and are capable of learning.

Struck by an idea, if you could get a Hybrid from the street to join the trial program, you could prove they weren’t violent and show that given the opportunity they could all learn and grow into members of society.

“Can I buy you dinner?” You called out, voice cracking from the cold. Your breath puffed out like smoke visible between you both. The night brought you more energy, it made you feel alive.

Cars passed, their headlights illuminating the entire alleyway and reflecting in his eyes a blood-red. He stalked forward, his body moving gracefully but you could see he was hurt, his shirt ripped and there was a strong scent of blood in the breeze. That was a downside to having heightened senses. You tried to control the disgusted look on your face, “I will pay and there is nothing else to it, just sit and have dinner with me, so I don’t look like a woman in her mid to late twenties eating alone at a convenience store”

He looked you up and down, it was then you noticed his features, he was a feline, not a common house cat. No, he was a big predator.

“Do I look like some charity case? Some pathetic creature who needs help from a human?” His words rumbled from his chest in a growl. You wanted to correct him that you weren’t exactly human yourself but decided against it. Stuck somewhere between Hybrid and human you didn’t fit in either category.

“What’s it to you? My reason is my reason, just take the free meal. Hell! Exploit me for a free meal, anything you want, go crazy.” You shrugged, trying desperately to charm him. He seemed to contemplate his choices for a moment before turning to walk away. You scrambled for your wallet and grabbed out twenty dollars, holding it out to him.

“Wait! At least take this; if you don’t want to eat with me, get something warm, and here is my card if ever you need help.”

He eyed the money but didn’t move to take it. Hoping he wouldn’t rip your arm off, you grabbed his hand. You knew it was risky. His fingers were cold, but you didn’t want to linger and make him mad, quickly placing the money on his palm with your business card.

“Have a good night, mister,” He nodded confused about the whole encounter, before shoving his hands in his pockets and leaving. It seemed even if you tried your best, it wouldn’t be enough to persuade him. He was too defensive, the best you could hope for was that he would stay safe in the cold.

What trials and tribulations must you go through to have these Hybrids trust and confide in you? Hopefully, it wouldn’t be this hard to get through to the group of Hybrids you were soon to obtain.

This was going to be a rather difficult experiment and you weren’t sure if it was going to go well but you hoped with every fiber of your being that you would see this through for the sake of the Hybrids.

That night you dreamed about the group of participants being hostile and unresponsive to the program, it did little to soothe your nerves the next morning. When you received an email about the new house. Jimin would have the key and would meet you outside later that day with the other Hybrids. No matter who they were, you were going to make sure they were achieving the best result they could.

The government had registered two Hybrids in your name, their files attached to the confirmation email. The two participants were so contrasting, Hoseok was a deer Hybrid, from a small farming family. The other was a Lion Hybrid by the name of Namjoon. He was from New Zealand and had participated in another government program regarding genius Hybrids.

Altogether, there were four: Namjoon the genius, Hoseok the country bumpkin, Taehyung, and Jimin. You decided to look for possible participants within the Hybrid store, and rehoming center. That would give you a wide variety of variables for the experiment; each would have a different background and would require different tools to help them.

You started at the nearest Hybrid shop. There were several rooms each with an observation window, a photo card, and a brief description of the Hybrid sitting, reading or playing video games inside. It was such a small space, how could they live in these tiny rooms every day until someone adopted them. Reading their descriptions by the windows you analyzed each of them, your attention caught by one playing video games. He had dark ears that stuck out from his dark hair. He seemed fun and you thought it would be easy to connect with him.

Hello, My name is Jungkook, I am twenty-three and I am a fully vaccinated Melanistic Jaguar.

You didn’t bother reading the rest, thinking you would like to learn about him properly, “Sir, I would like to adopt this Hybrid,” You declared, whilst walking towards the counter to begin the paperwork. Once everything was signed the young Jaguar boy was led from his small room. He looked nervous holding a small store backpack filled with all his essential items.

On the drive to the next location, you were the one doing most of the talking, receiving quiet one-word answers and small fidgets. He seemed excited when you finally parked the car, you guessed he was eager to see his new home.

However, as you walked towards the menacing rehoming center, he grew quieter and quieter, slowing to a stop before the entrance. Looking at his feet crying profusely, you realized how this must look. He must have thought he had done something wrong, how could he think you would buy him and rehome him on the same day.

“Jungkook, I am not abandoning you, I am picking up a brother for you to play with.” It took a few moments to console the young man. Wiping his tears and giving him a few pats on the head careful of his ears.

Deciding anyone younger than Jungkook would be too much to handle. “You have to help me find a big brother, someone you think will be really nice and that you like to play with, what do you think? Can you do that for me?”

Jungkook nodded, sniffing and wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “Okay, I can do that,”

The inside of the rehoming center smelt like disinfectant, you explained you were looking for another Hybrid and were led to a large room. There were Hybrids of all ages all playing and entertaining themselves with different activities.

It was overwhelming even for you, so you grasped Jungkook’s hand and encouraged him to look around, “Hey, what about ping pong?” You grinned at Jungkook who smiled playing a few rounds with you, the two of you giggling.

“Have I told you I am the ping pong master,” an older Hybrid grinned, he had a striped tail. You handed over the paddle and stood near Jungkook. “Do you want to play a game?”

Jungkook nodded, was this boy unable to say no. Either way, the two were getting along quickly, the older Hybrid was very playful and funny, even as he lost you were holding your sides from the laughter and Jungkook seemed to grow really comfortable with him.

Talking to one of the volunteers she explained that Seokjin was a raccoon hybrid and the oldest in the center. She explained that he often took the younger hybrids under his wing. It was an easy decision to adopt him. While you were filling out the paperwork, Jungkook was telling you all about his match with Seokjin.

“And I got the winning shot,” He grinned, swinging his arm like he was hitting an invisible ping pong ball.

“He seems really fun, would he make a good big brother?” It was cute how he nodded wholeheartedly. “Jungkook why don’t you go tell him that he is coming home with us?”

He grew embarrassed again, his dark ears twitching but followed the volunteer nonetheless. You were quick to finish up the last of the paperwork before the two came back laughing volunteer in tow.

“Unbelie-Bubble” Seokjin said before squeaking in laughter. He had all of his things and like Jungkook was nervous, but he showed it through talking.

You felt good with your selection, there was a Hybrid for every walk of life and socio-economic background. This would be perfect for the trial. They all seemed like lovely young Hybrids and you could already see them forming friendships.

It was on your way out that you saw a familiar face struggling against Hybrid control. “This is your last time, you know what happens to strays.”

“Wait!” You shouted, everyone in the lobby froze turning to look at you, the cold room felt quite warm with all of the attention “He is mine”

They froze looking between you and the hybrid before letting him go curiously. The injured Hybrid staggered over to you, knowing this was his best chance at survival, “why didn’t you tell them my name?” you asked him curiously but he kept his head down.

“This white tiger Hybrid is yours?” The handler spoke in disbelief, practically accusing you of lying. “why is he not microchipped, or registered in our system?”

“I was supposed to register him last week when I got him but I had been busy with work, I would like to properly register him under my name today,” You didn’t break under this man's pressure, you could notice the more he held eye contact the more he seemed to falter himself. “so that you will stop taking him in when he is harmlessly walking the streets”

The man opened his mouth to argue but you blinked up at him, watching him lower his hand.

“I am so sorry miss, we didn't mean to cause you trouble?” It wasn’t exactly odd behavior, you often found your arguments nullifying this way. You liked to think that your self-confident stare was what made people give in.

“Miss we have just noticed some suspicious activity in your account it says you have adopted four Hybrids today,” The woman behind the desk said, “We are legally required to ask your intentions or we can detain the Hybrids from you”

Almost questioning her, you remembered the government was placing two Hybrids in your name; they would be arriving today as well. With a smile you removed a folder from your bag, “I have a grant from the government.” You said brandishing the signed document, “I will be placing these Hybrids in my care”

[First] [Next]

Tags:  @simplymemyself @lolsiiike (please make sure you have tagging setting on so you get notified when the story updates)

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[maximumjinx]

Steven Universe Gravity Falls AU

~Yknow what they say, if you run out of content, ya gotta make it yourself. This is a ? shot (I might continue or not who knows not me) please don’t ask for more I have 18 unfinished fanfics on this site.~

California was nice, Steven had to admit. The people were nice, the food was fantastic, and the weather was splendid. It reminded him a lot of Beach City. Though there were just so many people, and traveling north, Steven was beginning to long for something small and simple again.

Oregon was the perfect place for that, right?

“Ronaldo wants pictures of Bigfoot, and if anyone can find him, its you Steven.” Petey’s voice was faint on Steven’s phone speaker, tossed into the passenger seat as Steven blindly picked a highway exit.

“Sure Petey, but couldn’t Ronaldo just go to a circus?”

“Not big feet Steven,” Petey emphasized, “Bigfoot.”

“Saying it twice isn’t helping buddy.” Steven was half paying attention. He was focusing on the winding roads and the looming trees surrounding him. Deep, in the pit of Steven’s stomach, he felt something start to tug him toward one direction farther away from the highway. He wasn’t quite sure if it was a good or bad feeling yet.

“Forget it, I’m going to take a blurry photo of that mean Gem in the woods and say its Bigfoot.”

“Just don’t let Jasper catch you, she’s no joke when she’s angry.”

“I saw her ripping grass out of the ground I think I’ll be fine. Later dude.”

Steven heard a small click and smiled to himself. He’s happy to see how far the people of Beach City have come and how they’ve taken to the gems. He remembers when the Crystal Gems were once the outcasts of town that locals warned you to stay away from.

He looked up to see a welcome sign.

“Gravity falls. Well, that’s a funny name.”

—

Steven wanted small and simple but he feels he may have overshot it.

This small town had exactly three attractions. A town museum that mentioned marrying woodpeckers (Steven couldn’t figure out if that was a normal human thing, like taxes and velcro), a small diner, and as one local described it ‘some tourist trap’ deep in the woods. It was a sticky summer day and the former two attractions didn’t have airconditioning. Steven gambled on the last stop in hopes of stretching his legs and maybe finding a source to the strange feeling in his gut. It had become much stronger since he entered this small town. Alluring, but nothing related to Gems as far as Steven could tell.

He parked in the nearly empty lot and stepped out. Jacket wrapped loosely around his hips, Steven made his way inside.

A girl that looked about 13 was petting a pig on the front porch. She was incredibly reflective, and depsite the heat wore a knitted bedazzled sweater that made her glow like a disco ball in the sun.

She looked Steven up and down as he approached, a wide smile taking up her face and Steven saw bright braces with colored bands.

“Hi!” She launched upwards, startling the pig away, “I’m Mabel, but you can call me anytime.” The girl winked and stuck out her hand, palm facing the floor.

Steven blinked.

“Mabel, stop scaring away the customers!” A gruff voice yelled through the screen door, and soon an older man stepped out in a suit, wearing a fez and eyepatch.

Immediately the old man squinted at Steven, sizing him up.

Stanley Pines knew this teen wasn’t local, but he wasn’t sure if he had any money. For all he knew he was another boy trying to hit on his giftshop cashier, Wendy.

Oh well, a customer is a customer.

“Come in, come in, and see our mystical and magical wonders!”

“Magical?” This could be it, Steven could figure out why this town has felt off. Maybe it was gem related after all.

Quickly this older man who had introduced himself as Mr. Mystery gave Steven a tour of what looked like failed taxidermy projects. Now Steven may have a lived a sheltered childhood, but he felt pretty confident there was no such thing as a Sashcrotch. And so far, nothing had felt magical or mysterious.

“That concludes our tour! Here is our mistifying giftshop and it’s purchasable wonders!”

“Right...” Well, at the very least he was able to spend some time in airconditioning.

There was a girl behind the desk in plaid that looked about Steven’s age, and just a half inch shorter than him. She looked bored, flipping through a magazine as a young boy that looked a lot like Mabel made googly eyes as he swept by the door.

Steven guessed there was no harm in asking around.

“Hi, I’m Steven.” He smiled easily, walking up to the register.

“No refunds, even if an exhibit bit you.” She sighed, peeking up before turning back to her magazine.

“Oh no, nothing bit me, I just wanted to know something.”

She looked up to get a better look at Steven and gave a small smirk.

“Sure, but only because I like your shirt. Mr. Universe merch, now that’s a deep cut.”

Unbeknownst to Steven, Dipper Pines would had been watching the exchange felt a twinge of uneasiness as this out of towner talked with Wendy.

“Have you ever seen anything strange or weird actually happen in this town?”

Wendy’s smile dropped.

“Why do you ask?” Her eyes flickered to Dipper, just for a moment, and that was all he needed to rush over.

“Excuse me sir, please buy something or exit the store.” Dipper spoke in the deepest voice he could muster.

Steven looked over with a questioning expression.

“Oh sure uh-“ He blindly reached for the wad of bills that his dad had given to him before he left. Steven pulled out a hundred dollar bill and put it on the counter. Wendy looked up baffled as Steven stuffed the other cash back in his wallet.

“Boy was I wrong about you kid!” Mr. Mystery, seemingly materializing out of nowhere, now bounded over. He had loosened his tie and lost the eyepatch which turned out he never needed.

“Whaddya wanna know? I’ll tell you everything. There’s gnomes in the woods you know-“

“Grunkle Stan!” Dipper protested loudly, dragging his Stan away and harshly whispering at him.

“Did you steal that money?” Wendy asked as Steven watched the pair whisper fight in the corner. He turned back to the girl and gave a sheepish smile.

“Uh no, my dad gave it to me before this roadtrip. He’s actually Mr. Universe.”

Wendy lit up.

“No freaking way! Your dad is Mr. Universe? I only got into him since he managed Sadie Killer and the Suspects and they always perform covers of his songs on tour, I can’t believe he’s your dad!” She rambled, stars in her eyes. Steven beamed, he loved when people praised his dad’s music. Greg really deserved it.

Steven learned Wendy’s name and they swapped stories back and forth, only interrupted as the girl from outside slowly rose from the behind the counter beaming.

“A cute musician that loves weird stuff, take me now.” She swooned. Steven blushed profusely, not used to the attention.

“Sorry, my girlfriend Connie probably wouldn’t like that very much.” He said gently. Mabel looked him up and down and pouted.

“I can wait, but not forever.” She warned, and winked, bounding to break apart her grunkle and Dipper, who are now whisper screaming with arms flailing.

“I wasn’t going to mention that Dorito shaped jerk! Just the normal stuff!”

“It’s dangerous! He could be a spy, or government, or another stack of gnomes!”

Steven raised an eyebrow and looked at Wendy. She chuckled and shrugged. Steven carefully approached them.

“He can hear everything you’re saying anyways so might as well tell him!” Mabel interrupted, nodding towards Steven as he came up.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m definitely not government.” Steven technically didn’t exist at all. He never had a social security card and didn’t have a birth certificate.

Dipper only glared. Rich strangers with an interest in the paranormal didn’t come through gravity falls without some kind of agenda.

Steven hated the conflict he was starting. No information was worth this family fighting.

“Okay,” he surrendered, hands up, “I’ll just go. I’ll stick around town until tomorrow if you change your minds”

“Wait Steven-”

“Let him go Wendy,” Dipper glared as the boy in pink walked out, “We can’t trust him.”

“But I was going to ask for Sadie tickets...” Wendy groaned, defeated.

“There’s something weird about him.”

“Great!” Mabel beamed, “He’ll fit right in.”

~.~

Steven wasn’t crazy about sleeping in his car, but was seriously considering it after seeing the state of his motel room. It looked like it hadn’t been used in decades, a thin line of dust covering every surface. He was also pretty sure they didn’t even have free ice. 

“Wish Pearl were here..” He mumbled, exhausted. He curled up on top of the covers, fully clothed, and let sleep take him.

Being Steven Universe however, meant rest was sure to allude the half alien. 

Steven found himself in a dark space, fog all around him. Before a word could come out of his mouth he heard a fast, repetitive muttering. 

“Stranger...Wendy looked pretty today..Can’t trust...Tell no one...Ford isn’t here..”

“What, the-” Steven quietly walked toward the source of dialogue, and saw the faded silhouette of the boy from the Mystery Shack. His back was turned to him, but Steven recognized the blue vest and mosquito bitten legs. 

“I thought I was over the dream hopping.” Steven spoke a tad too loudly, starting the young boy - Dipper.

“What-” Dipper’s eyes grew wide in panic, and the boy fell back harshly.

“No, no, you can’t be in my head!” 

“Wait, I’m not-” Steven tried to reassure him, stepping carefully towards the boy but Dipper let out a screech of terror, sweat gathering around his temples.

“Bill sent you didn’t he?! He’s not really gone- he’s going to hurt Mable again-” Dipper began to hyperventilate. 

“Dipper please,” Steven took a step back, arms in the air in surrender. 

“I-”

“I’m not going to hurt you I swear on the gems.” He placed a hand over his heart. “This is a total invasion of privacy but it’s something that happens when someone’s emotions are out of control-”

“How are you here?” Dipper demanded, scrambling to his feet. “Tell me what you are and what you want.”

“I’m just passing through!” Steven insisted, then lowered his tone to calm the younger boy. “I’m kinda of magnet for weird stuff. I just wanted to help in case anything was going on.”

“We deal with things just fine around here.” Dipper spat, then watched as Steven deflated. He seemed tired, like he hasn't slept well in a while. 

“So what are you anyways? How can you be here?”

Steven winced, and laughed nervously. “It’s kind of a long story..”

Dipper raised and eyebrow and swept his arm around the void dramatically. 

“You have until dawn.”

~

“I thought that was a conspiracy theory, it wasn’t even covered by major news outlets.” Dipper look exhausted, cross legged on the unseen floor as he ran his hands through his hair. 

“I think Garnet is pretty persuasive when it comes to government and reporters. They all kinda fall in love with her.”

“She’s the one that’s really two aliens?” 

Steven shook his head with a small smile. “It’s hard to explain but yes, I guess that comes close.”

“That’s actually insane. I’m insane, aren’t I?” Dipper stood up, leaving Steven on sitting next to an empty space. “It’s been too quiet around here and now I’m so desperate for weird, that I’m making it all up in my head.”

“I get that feeling.” Steven smiled without humor, “but no, this is real. I’ll prove it when you wake up.” Steven felt a shift, the fog in the void getting denser. 

“Sooner than I thought, you’re an early riser huh?”

Dipper looked back at Steven, panicked. “You’ll come to the Shack again right? In just a bit?”

Steven smiled. “Promise.”

~

Dipper woke up to his sister braiding his hair. Mabel still had her pjs on, and a make up kit next to the bed. Dipper frowned, tasting strawberry shortcake. 

“Stop testing party looks on me, Mabel.”

“Stop having my face structure and maybe I will.” She grinned, covered in blue glitter. 

Dipper quickly washed up and got dressed for the day, feeling like he was anxiously waiting for something but not quite remembering what. 

He felt like he had a strange dream last night...

He quickly remembered, choking on cereal as Steven walked into the shack right as it opened. Hair slightly frizzy from the heat and eyes strangely tired. Maybe dream hopping took energy that he anticipated. 

“Steven!”

“Meal ticket!” 

“Grunkle Stan.” Mabel chastised as Dipper rushed over to the older boy. 

“Good morning everyone.” 

Dipper stopped short, slightly hoping that everything he experienced wasn’t just his imagination. That everything exciting and weird and interesting wasn’t always trying to kill him, ruin his life, or steal his candy. 

Steven looked tired, like he had been doing this much longer than Dipper, but he had still come out with enough energy to smile. 

“Not insane?” Dipper asked hopefully, quietly. Steven snapped his attention from his Grunkle and Mable bickering down to the Dipper. He gave a reassuring smile, eyes quite serious. 

“Not insane.”

[viltrumitesuperboy]

Babysitting Job (Peter Parker x Natasha’s Brother Reader)

Sorry for any errors within the plot. I wrote this over the course of two weeks. Reader’s powers not mentioned much.

Requested by: anon Could I possibly request a Peter Parker x Male Reader, where the reader is Black Widow's younger brother and has trained in martial arts and gymnastics and the like, but also has the ability of animal shape-shifting? Maybe all the avengers meet him for the first time when Black Widow finally gets him to live with her and Peter gains a pretty big crush on him?

Word count: 3352

You trained under your older adoptive sister for years. Natasha found out that you had been born with the ability to shift into animals. She brought you to her workplace where you would be treated as a person and not as a weapon like she had. You never stayed with her after you'd trained for a few years, leaving America to take other jobs. Every once in a while she'd check up on you, asking if you needed anything or if you could help her find some information. Even miles away, she still acted like your older sister and was just as protective.

Eventually you decided to finish your education in America, staying with Natasha at the Avengers Tower. She had an entire floor to herself, but rarely used most of it. She was a minimalist to an extent. She made sure you were settled before going to her briefing late, assuring you that she wouldn't get in trouble. If anything, you were sure that she'd scold them for starting without her.

You spent the first few nights extremely uncomfortable in the new place. You had never needed to stay somewhere for a long time, and even if it had only been a few days, you knew you'd be there for a while.

After a week, you were roaming about the R&D floors and bumped into someone.

"Oh, you," Tony Stark said.

"Who do you think I am?" you asked warily.

"Natasha's kid brother, right? With the powers? Listen, I have something for you."

"Uh..."

"Here. Have you seen this?"

He pulled out his StarkPad. You watched the video he pulled up, not wanting to interrupt someone who seemed like he was always in a rush. It was a boy with a lean figure, dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants along with a mask covering his entire head. You silently applauded him for being a beginner vigilante who wore something practical considering he probably couldn't afford body armour.

"This is Spider-kid. Well, Spider-Man. But he's young, and I want to keep an eye on him. You mind helping me out? Of course, I wouldn't tell you his identity without his consent, but he agreed that he'd be fine with me giving him protection after..." he trailed off, gesturing vaguely with his hand as if you knew what he was talking about. "Anyway, you feel up to going to high school? You're young. You'll probably fit right in."

"Mr. Stark, I have no social skills. I assure you, putting me in a high school considering my powers and training is likely a danger to my mental stability and their physical well-being. I'm not going to babysit someone for you."

Tony's features seemed to soften a bit. He looked less like he was in a rush as much as he normally did. It was something he reserved for the people he cared most about.

"Look, I get it. People are hard to talk to. And I'm not saying this as Tony Stark, owner of a large company. I'm saying this as the reason I'm Iron Man. You've seen all that through files from Nat, right?" He awaited your confirmation, and you nodded. "Good. All you need to do is just be with Peter. And I'm sure you qualify to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. This can just be a mission and they'd be glad to know that my- uh, the kid is being managed by someone they can trust because at least they know Nat. It doesn't have to be anything else, not even a favour for me. Just a job."

You thought about it for a moment, then asked to see more of the videos. Stark held out the device for both of you to see and swiping through a few. You both stood there in the sunlit hallway for a while. He was barely trained and relied a lot on his powers. Maybe you could help him.

"I'll speak to Natasha today. I think I'll help you out, but talk to him first," you said finally.

"Great. By the way, I think he'd be a lot more comfortable if he knew that you were working with me," Stark said, just about to walk away. "He knows that someone will be sent to watch him, but he doesn't know who and he doesn't trust easily. He'd appreciate if you told him who you were right off the bat. Be careful."

"For him or for me?"

"Personally? For him. I think you can handle yourself."

He walked away, the device tucked under his arm as he made his way to one of the labs. It was obvious Stark cared for the boy, and you respected Stark for his efforts to make the world safer after what he'd gone through. If this was a job, this was one you'd take very seriously.

———

Your powers meant you could shift into animals, but you could also just take the attributes of any animal you knew to exist. It was much easier than turning into a large wildcat in the middle of a city street. You'd taken the climbing abilities of a gecko, leaping from another building to climb up the tower. There was a bandana covering the lower half of your face, just so you couldn't be recognised by cameras. You had just started to open the window when a reflection on the window blocked the lights inside.

"Hey, uh, what are you up to?" Spider-Man asked.

You turned to look at him, adjusting your bandana.

"Nothing, just going home," you replied, opening the window.

"Oh! Do you live here?" he piped up.

"No, but it'll be my home once I break in."

"Uh..."

"I'm just kidding. You can come in if you want. I know Stark has a soft spot for you."

"Mr. Stark? Really? I mean, I try to text Happy all the time cause I really want to tell Mr. Stark stuff sometimes but I didn't really think he actually-"

"Hey! Get inside!" your sister shouted from the kitchen.

You quickly slipped in, Spider-Man following and shutting the window behind you.

"What have I told you about coming in from there?" Natasha glared sternly.

"That there's an elevator and I should use it like a respectable person."

"Exactly. Go change and then help me out with lunch. Hi, Spider-Man. You know where to go."

"Yeah, sorry, Ms. Romanov. I didn't know you had a friend coming over."

"He's my brother. Now hurry up. Pepper will have your head if you're late."

The conversation trailed off, likely followed with goodbyes, as you went to your room. Lunch led to a very serious conversation about joining the secret government agency along with your first job: keeping Spider-Man in check.

———

The flash drive you received had the worst possible photo of Peter Parker you could imagine. It was as if they couldn't get an actual photo of him. Considering the fact that he was an official intern here, you figured that they might be able to get something that didn't look like an unfortunate accident from Picture Day. Because in person, he looked... not as stupid.

Going back to a public school was strange. You hadn't gone since you were a child, the rest of your education mixed in with the martial arts training you had to take. There were so many people, but at least they were ignoring you for the most part. The main problem was finding out where the hell B104 was.

"Um, are you lost?"

A girl with curly hair and a sketchbook to her side had a locker open next to you. You glanced at her putting books away and taking things out before responding.

"Yeah, I don't know where this is?"

She looked at your schedule, nodding as she shut her locker.

"Yeah. That's the basement. There's one science class down there," she explained. "I'll go with you; I have something there, too."

You thanked her as you both walked through the crowded hallways. She occasionally nudged people aside, giving absolutely no shits to the people standing in the way. Natasha would like her. When you accidentally mentioned it in a quiet mumble, she laughed. She claimed that if she ever met Black Widow, "it'll be over for all you bitches." You didn't doubt it. You both went down a floor and she led you to the room.

"I have to go a bit further down, but..." she quickly pulled out a pen and wrote down your room numbers on her wrist. "I have some classes close to these, so I can bring you there for the first half of the day before lunch. I'll see you after class?"

"Uh, sure?"

"My name's Michelle."

"I'm (Y/N)."

She stuck her hand out in a way that you became extremely uncomfortable with, not used to shaking hands. She seemed to notice your hesitation then held it up for a high five. You gave a small smile of gratitude and gave her one.

"I'm sorry, that's so awkward. Um, if you stick with me, I'll teach you the secrets of this school. Okay, there aren't really any, but you really look like more of a loner than I do."

You nodded awkwardly in response and turned to walk into your class without another word.

Michelle had about three of her classes with you, and you shared 4 with Peter Parker, two of which were before lunch. She walked you to the table she usually sat at, a relaxed gait to talk to you comfortably.

"Everyone kind of adopts their own spot in the cafeteria at some point. Those tables are usually empty, and that's where I sit. I have a feeling you're going to be spending your time there too."

You spotted Peter, who waved at you. Confused, you waved back, then Michelle voiced an excited greeting. You put your hand down after pretending to scratch your head.

"This is Peter and Ned. They're in some of your classes."

"Oh, you're the kid who broke one of the beakers today, right? Man, that's so weird. How did you manage that?" Ned recalled.

You weren't about to tell him that you hadn't broken it at all. It was sitting on one of the heating plates and you were trying to put it away, but it fell as you'd tried to catch it with your sticky gecko hands. It didn't work.

"I have super strength," you deadpanned.

The three laughed, somehow. You hadn't interacted with such a close friend group like this ever. Peter was an awkward teen just like the others, and you wondered how difficult it must have been for him to adjust to his powers in the middle of his schooling. If anyone noticed you staring at him, they didn't mention it.

———

You did not tell Peter that he was just your job.

He was completely oblivious to your role in his life and laughably terrible at hiding his secret. You once caught him pick up an entire row of lockers with one hand in between classes. He picked up a bottle that looked like it held arsenic and placed the lockers back down. The sunlight streaming in from a nearby classroom's glass window made you realise that this boy had no regard for his surroundings. He was incredibly stupid. You really had to tell him soon.

He'd visited the tower a few more times, and you'd sometimes see him practice with your sister. She'd look up at you in the doorway of the training room and glare at you, as if telling you that she was doing your job. You walked away before he saw you every time. Instead, you followed him around when he was Spider-Man, choosing when you wanted him to know you were there and when you didn't. You'd learned that from Natasha. He'd tried to get your attention a few times, knowing you were there, but you slipped out of sight every time.

Michelle started to ask you to call her MJ. Ned showed you pictures of the Death Star he and Peter built together. It suffered destruction twice in the past, but it was perfect now and sitting on display in Ned's home. Peter offhandedly mentioned that Tony Stark wanted to display it at the tower. Ned was all for it, and you wanted to hit your head on a wall. Peter consistently confirmed his parent-child relationship with Stark without realising it. It was a bit infuriating for everyone else who could see it.

Peter had started to become more awkward around you. He'd been more comfortable over time, but one day he just started to get fidgety and stammered a lot. It only happened when he spoke to you. You were aware that you were probably one of the very few people that he felt any romantic attraction to, and he probably felt like you were his only option. Unsurprisingly, you felt the same way. It sucked having only a few friends.

At some point the secret had to come out. You were just standing in the kitchen, opening the fridge for the second time like it would suddenly become interesting, and jumped once you closed it.

"Oh my god, Peter," you huffed.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?"

Your eyes darted to Natasha for help. Peter followed your line of sight to her. She shrugged and hauled her duffel bag further up her shoulders.

"I have a mission. I'll only be gone less than a week. Get groceries."

The elevator arrived in seconds and she went up, likely to the helipad. You both stood there in silence for a moment.

"That's my sister," you admitted.

"Hold on, so you're telling me the person I met sticking to a window was you? The new, awkward kid at my high school?"

"You're awkward too."

Peter began too look a bit uncomfortable just standing in front of you in plain view, like he was suddenly aware of how open he was.

"You were the one following me around the city too. When I'm Spider-Man."

You nodded, gesturing to the living room so you could both take a seat. He was quiet as you went to your room, coming back out with the flash drive you had on him.

"Stark wanted someone to watch you, and he doesn't have many younger options. Then Nick Fury apparently wanted to keep an eye on you, so it all worked out. Natasha talked to him about having me join, and you were supposed to be my mission."

"Then why didn't you tell me? Are we... friends?"

"Yes!"

Peter looked away from you and looked out the window, the same one you both climbed into a while ago. He looked down at the flash drive, his teeth biting his bottom lip. You slowly sat down next to him, being sure to keep some distance away.

"I just didn't know how to tell you. Stark said that I would have been fine if you didn't know who exactly was watching you. I didn't expect to become your friend."

He put the flash drive in between the two of you, sliding it back over. You looked at it, your stomach doing turns knowing that you never would have hurt him if you said something earlier.

"My sister's been training you because I couldn't. I've learned a lot from her, but I've traveled more than she has. And I can adjust my powers to be more like yours. If you'd still want me around, I can teach you more."

Peter stood up, holding his hand out like he was going to shake your hand. You followed suit, holding your hand up for a high five. You both switched your hand positions, then settled for a fist bump that wasn't quite coordinated.

"I know we're both a bit awkward and we don't know how to talk to people normally, but I don't think I'd ever give you up. I'd like to be more than a mission to you."

"Like a friend?"

"Whatever you want."

———

It was easier to be with Peter in the tower. You realised how little you actually know about the building, and the next few days were spent with the both of you walking to the subway together and taking it to where you lived. He always brought you up to Stark's personal floor, to both his and Stark's labs, then to the R&D floors that you stopped exploring ever since your interaction with Tony Stark. He showed you what people were working on if they allowed you both in, and you'd watch him work on projects when he figured he'd procrastinated long enough. Sometimes MJ and Ned would tag along because apparently both you and Peter vouching for them was enough for security to let them through. Of course you had MJ meet your sister. It was a terrifying experience.

You spent weeks training Peter, watching him crawl up walls and do flips with more grace than you ever could and learning from him, but also taking him down much faster than he could ever take down anyone else. He was resilient but needed the training that both you and your sister provided. And even if your sister had been doing this longer than you had, you had abilities she didn't that could match and counter Spider-Man's.

Somehow Peter got even more awkward. He was clumsy, and was only lucky he didn't break things (or his own body parts) because of his powers. You didn't really want to tell him that you knew why. If you didn't have your own response to how he felt about you, he'd think that you were rejecting him. Though conflicted, MJ decided to make that decision for you.

"Ned, wanna come with me to see Ms. Romanov while she's training?" MJ asked, slinging her sweater over her shoulder.

"Uh, I don't really-"

"We have lovebirds to leave alone. Come on."

Ned looked a little torn, considering he had either the option of staying and not letting his two friends talk alone for once or leaving and being constantly terrified of a woman and a teenage girl for hours. You felt he made the worse choice, as he followed MJ. Fool.

"Did you just call Ned a fool?" Peter laughed.

You put your hand over your mouth, but laughed with him anyway. You were both sitting on the same sofa that led to Peter finding out that he was a part of your job. His hand reached yours, putting it on top of where they rested on your lap. He pulled it towards him and held it like romantic couples usually do, with fingers crossed together. It took some struggle because you both moved your hands the same way. Once again, you shared a laugh, though this one was more strained and uncomfortable.

"You like me, Peter," you said, not an ounce of doubt in your words. "I've known behaviour long enough to know. And I like you too, but I'm scared that it's because you're the first friend I've had that wasn't my sister."

"I was supposed to say it first," he pouted. "I had those two leave on purpose!"

You laughed and lightly squeezed his hand.

"I mean, what's life if we're not going to take risks?" he continued. "You decided to go to public school after years of not making friends, and I went on a school trip, got bitten by a spider, and decided not to tell anyone. If it doesn't work out, we can still be friends, right?"

"Nat would force me to stick around you as part of the job. Keeping you around as a friend is just a plus."

"Well, don't think that I'm letting you off the hook for telling me how you feel first. I'm holding you to this." Peter pointed a finger menacingly at you, which you pushed away.

"Sorry for stealing your thunder. And speaking of thunder, Thor's coming in a few hours. You wanna hide his food and blame it on Barton?"

"Hell yeah."

[pixie88]

Epilogue

Yours Truly.

A/N | I complete forgot there was a few things I wanted to add, so I thought I’d clean up the end of the last chapter too. 

Comments & reblogs welcome! Let me know what you loved and hated about this chapter!

I understand if you don’t want to be tagged so just pop me a message to be removed, but also let me know if you would like to be tagged!

Summary | Life changes for the couple.

Check out previous chapters here - HERE.

Wattpad | Here.

Word count | 788

Warnings | 18 + Only! Angst & Fluff.

Pairings | Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

She stared blankly at Owen not quite understanding what he just said "Ellie?"  he made her snap back to reality. "B-but how?" she couldn't compute the connection.

"So my Mum Diane, she was seeing your Dad before he met your Mum. They went on a few dates they ended up sleeping together, but then decided they were better off as friends. Obviously a few weeks later she got with Gareth, he had no idea until the day she had the accident. They had got into a fight she came out with it, she stormed out the house and well you know the rest!"

He looks up at her finally lifting his head, he can see her mind ticking over, "but that accident was over twenty four years ago! Why has he waited until now to tell you?"

"He met Trina and a few months into the relationship he told Libby and I that he was no longer going to fund our Mum's private health care. I was so angry he knew neither of us could afford it, and it wasn't like we could have her living with us with Libby in Paris and me in Kent, we just wouldn't be able to care for her. So we argued, he was drunk and he told me...I wasn't his. He even sent me a photo of DNA test he did years ago before Charlie died. I should have told you when I found out, but it was a lot from me to process, how could I expect you to process it when I hadn't myself?"

"I want to see the DNA test!" her expression was blank. He pulls out his phone and scrolls until he finds the photo, he hands her the phone. There it was Probability of Paternity: 99.99999% Alleged Father: Charlie Jones. Her heart raced, she thought it was playing a cruel trick on her, but there it was in black and white.

"Did my Dad know? How did he not question it?" she hissed at him, "No, Gareth said no one thought anything of it because they got together weeks apart and when I was born she told them all I was early!"

Ellie couldn't understand, she knew her Dad. He would give her twenty one questions over buying a new pair of shoes, so why didn't he ask questions about a potential child?! The surrounding air began to get thin, "I need to get out of here!" she jumps up out of her seat, "Ellie, I'm sorry!" he tries to help her, but she pushes him away.

"I need to get home! Errrr...I'll speak to you soon!" she rushed out of the coffee shop making her way back home.

6 Months later...

She took a deep breath as she looked over herself in hallway mirror one more time, "I see posing in the mirror must be a Jones trait!" he teases her from the kitchen doorway. She turned giving him daggers "what can I say? I must get it from my older, annoying brother who loves himself!" she bites back.

He pretends to be offended, holding his hand to his chest, "oh please! They only reason you make eye to eye contact with anyone is so you can look at your own reflection!" she jokes.

"Ok, are you done taking the piss out of me? There are a lot of people out there waiting to know the sex of my new niece or nephew!"

She rolls her eyes at him, "that's a Jones trait right there!" he points at her, "sorry, but I hate to break it to you Owen, but she's a Barlow through and through!" Adam nudges him.

"Sorry, scotch cake! Once a Jones always a Jones!" Owen teases him as he makes his way past and into the garden.

Ellie laughs, "I wish he'd stop calling me that!" Adam shook his head, "I don't know..scotch cakes are quite tasty!" she grins as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"As much as I would like to offer you a taste, we have people waiting for us and Charlie and Delilah will start throwing a paddy if they don't find out if they are having a little brother or sister soon!"

She sighs, "Fine, let's not keep them waiting!" she turns towards the back door, but he pulls her to a stop. He claims her lips in a quick kiss, "you look beautiful by the way" she smiles as she pulls herself away she pulls him out into the garden with her.

11 minutes later...

"Three.... two.... one!" BOOM! The confetti bursts out from the canons and flutters in the air, everyone cheers.

Adam looks at a smug Ellie, "FUCK!" he mouths as he shook his head with a grin knowing he was in trouble.

@secretaryunpaid​ @aussieez​ @lem-20​ @irisofpurple​ @gloriousalmondvoiddreamer​ @rookiemartin​ @palmaviolet​ @wombatsxkookaburras​ @pixie-b​

[mxvladdy]

I can't stress enough 'wows' in tve way you write along with the fact that it's you first few posts (i think? Pls correct me) can you do luci mammon and satan with a reader who takes naps bc of overthinking? They just tug their sleeves and shot them a tired look, while looking down shying away. Also, have a nice day and take the time to be yourself!

Aw thanks fam! I am fairly new to posting my works, I tried twice before this with two different writing blogs but I deleted them both bc I felt discouraged. I’m older now and I feel a lot better about my writing, so third time the charm and all that lol! I’m so glad you like my writing! I know I need some work on grammar and expanding my vocabulary.  

This was a super cute prompt ;.; I hope I did it justice!

Lucifer

He is a mix of jealous and pissed. He wishes he could fall asleep so easily when he gets inundated with too many things at once. But also- just don’t do that? Where were your manners?

He starts noticing your little peculiarity in class. Specifically that you tend to nod off in advance alchemy and rune scripting. You were being so studious, jotting down notes, ask great questions. Next thing he knows you're out like a light.

He is shocked for a moment before he will wake you up. Your wide doe-eyed frown does nothing to him. JK his hearts clench at your wounded look.

He makes the other brothers report to him about your behavior and odd sleep habit. Were you ill? Was this just something humans did? Devils, was Belphie rubbing off on you?

They all say the same thing. One moment you are working hard or talking to them about a topic you are passionate about, and the next you are yawning hard enough to pop your jaw and shyly asking to lay down.

Well-he can’t have that.

If you are going to fall asleep around anyone it’s going to be him.

He sets up remedial lessons with you after dinner to make up for the work slept through. You sit by him at his long ornate desk while he tutors you on what you missed.

You weren't having any problems,  you even finished a few pages. He is proud and then-

“I can almost hear those gears slowing my dear.” Lucifer interrupts himself mid-explanation of Zosimos of Panopolis and Maria the Prophetess's theories of alchemy in human medicine.

You jerk awake and turn to him blinking owlishly. "Yeah, I just need to lay down." You admit.

Lucifer eyes you critically. This was sudden, were you ill? You had been fine moments ago, bright-eyed and enthusiastic. He cups your face, turning it from side to side. "So suddenly? We haven't even discussed the properties of mercury yet." You hum letting your eyes droop. He was always so warm.

"Hour nap break? Please?" His stern gaze softens at how your nose scrunches up cutely as you yawn.

“Very well.” He relents letting you slick over to his couch. You flop over face first with a grunt of satisfaction. You toss and turn for a while, moving his pillows around unsatisfied.

“Luci-” You call in defeat. He ignores you at first. If you wanted to nap fine, he would get some work done in the meantime. “Luci~” You say again. You could see his brow twitching. “Lu-”

“My dear,” He shoots you a withering look. “You are treading a thin line. If you have the energy to call for me you have the energy to study.” You say nothing at his brisk tone, instead of opening your arms to him to join you. “You tempt me.” He purrs hiding his smile behind his paperwork.

“Learned from the best.” Lucifer shakes his head laughing at your smug reply. He glances over you to his grandfather clock. Hmmm-perhaps he could spare a few minutes. He rises elegantly discarding his tie and waistcoat to his abandoned chair. Running a hand through his hair he snorts at your little whistle.

“Move.” He commands. You shake your head patting your belly. “I will crush you.” He laughs but lays over you regardless.

“Good-you’re warm.” You say muffled in his shirt. Wrapping your arms around his middle you drift off. Lucifer holds you close, running a still gloved hand up and down your side. Perhaps he should bring out some more complex topics next time. If this was the outcome-

Mammon

He noticed you get drowsy before in class. Your cute little head jerks as you nod off, hands rubbing at your face as you fight to stay awake before giving in to the need to sleep. It was adorable- not that he was watching you because of that! He was just doing his job of looking out for you

Ye-that was all.

Honestly, he thought you were just like him. He never cared for the books being forced on him in class. Boring useless crap in his opinion. He much rather sleep through a lecture on stats too.

Now books on photography? That's where it's at. He has a legitimate passion for it.

He likes being behind the camera just as much as he likes being in front of it. Though he doesn't snap photos often.

He doesn't need more beratement from his brothers than he already gets. Sides, he just feels like they would look down at this like everything else he does.

He'll share his hobby with you though. You at least seem interested in it. He'll show you his collection of vintage to high-tech cameras and talk your ear off about the makes, models, and features.

You nod along and ask questions from time to time, smiling along with Mammon while he prattles on about color theory next to you on the floor.

He was just getting to Auguste Lumiére when he feels a gentle bump on his shoulder.

"O-oi!" Mammon starts, shaking his shoulder to rouse you. You look up at him, blinking the sleep from your eyes. "Was...was I that boring?" He deflates a little, all previous excitement gone in a flash. You had seemed so interested...

"What? Oh, no. No Mammon I'm sorry. It's really all fascinating," You grab for his sleeve so he couldn't run away. "It was just a lot of information all at once. I just got a bit overwhelmed."

"So you fall asleep?" He raises a brow not believing you for a second. Who falls asleep when something is interesting? He'll admit he's fallen asleep while listening to Levi talk about a new anime or Asmo with a make-up release.  But that's because it had been boring. "Is that like a human thing?"

You shrug snuggling closer. "I don't know- but it's a me thing. Give me five? I'd love to hear you talk more about your collection, promise."

Mammon glows scarlet at your words. "Of course you do!" He puffs out his chest excitedly. “I got great taste.” You nod into his shirt before drifting off again. He tilts his head slightly to look at you chuckling internally when your breathing and heartbeat slow down. Damn, out in seconds. Well, better get comfortable.

Uncrossing his long legs he picks up the camera he had been showing you. The old Polaroid lens reflects his face back at him. He remembered the day Land had debuted this marvel of engineering. He just had had to get his hands on one. It was useless now, he had much better quality cameras than this old thing, but he remembered you reminiscing about your human friends and their portable camera. Would you take some pictures with him too? He would take one now, but the sound of the flash would definitely wake you up.

He fiddles with it for a few more minutes, opening and closing the film canister and checking for any parts that needed fixing as he waits. You stir at his side a few minutes later with a little mew of satisfaction. Mammon hears your joints creak and pop as you stretch. "Morning." He says sarcastically, earning himself a light punch to his shoulder. "Ready to continue?"

You nod eagerly, perky and aware. At least for the moment.

Satan

He didn't really notice at first the pattern of your behavior.

You would come over for book club. Which was really just him reading his current novel and you picking something at random to gain a little random knowledge.

You would find a comfortable position on his bed, curl up nice and small and read. Then after a bit yawn and start to snooze.

He first thought it was the atmosphere of his room. It was quiet, warm, and the sound of flickering candles and the rustle of paper sometimes caused him to doze too.

But when it starts happening outside of class he notices.

Hmmm….this is new.

He looks it up in his human anatomy books and finds nothing.

He's not particularly worried about you per se. You always bounce back quickly after a quick snooze.

Then you start dozing when he is talking… >:(

Like his brother/dad he is a little miffed at first but then your behavior reminds him a cat and he loves you 10x harder now

Satan stops in his pacing of the back gardens. His book of poetry hanging limply in his hand. He had been reciting some of the most fascinating lines of work from Lord Byron's later works and wanted a human's perspective. He had thought you were interested. You never complained before when he asked you out here. Perhaps you were just being polite all those times before. Anything to soothe wrath. He snaps his book shut sharply, take some perverse satisfaction in the way you start out of your light sleep at the noise.

"Why'd you stop?" You ask wiping at your face.

"No point talking to someone that doesn't wish to listen." He snaps tersely.

"Oh-Satan, no I was listening. It...it just got to be so much so fast." You flush. “You had some great points going, I just needed a minute.” He watches your eyes grow heavy again, and it dawns on him.

"Do you just sleep when overwhelmed?" He asks incredulously. In all his years with humans, this was new. You shrug making grabby hands for him to move closer. He scoffs but moves into your space. You grab at the hem of his shirt and pull him down to sit next to you. He goes willingly getting comfortable by your side. You eye his lap longingly, hands clutching around his coat sleeve. “Fine-” He rolls his eyes. “Come here you odd thing.” You smile in triumph and crawl into his lap. Once settled you nuzzle into his warm chest.

“Wake me up in ten? I want to hear more about your conversations with Byron.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” He kisses the top of your forehead, opening his book to read again with one hand. You hum at his soft kiss, returning it sleepily with one of your own before passing out again. Ten minutes go by in an instant and Satan looks down at your peaceful face. He smiles to himself, perhaps he’ll let you sleep for a little while longer. You’d need it for his next point.  

[whydoyouwantmyname]

Imagine being Sirius’s daughter {Part Two}

Part one

-Remus took you to James and Lily’s funeral, knowing that you had no idea what was happening, but he had to go..... he had to know it was real.

-He also took you to Peter’s funeral.

-On full moon nights Dumbledore would come get you from the cabin and take you to Hogwarts. He had a spare bed set up for you in the office, and you would sleep there under the window, Fawkes perched at the foot of your bed standing guard. 

-When you were older some nights you would stay with Hagrid in the Hut. He loved having you around, and would teach you all about the garden, the grounds, and the magical creatures.

-You often asked Remus when your father was coming home. He didn’t tell you until you were three that Sirius wasn’t coming home for a very long time.

-The first year you lived with him, he would find himself going to bed heartbroken, exhausted from trying to be strong for your sake all day. His tears freely falling as his mind flashed back to a happier time.

-After that first year it happened far less frequently.

-Remus built you a spare room, and filled it full of the books Lily bought you from the flat, along with photographs of the past events.

-He also got your stuffed animals that represented the Marauders, and added to it a stuffed Lily. They sat on your bookshelf.

-One of the photos was of Harry and you, and when you first saw it you asked, “What happened to Harry?”

“Well, he went to live with Lily’s sister.”

“Can we go see him?”

“Unfortunately not, see Lily’s sister is a muggle, and Auntie Lily always said that her sister was not a fan of wizards. So I doubt she would find our presence welcoming.”

-One night you were sitting at the table when you asked, “Uncle Mooney, did Daddy kill Uncle Prong and Auntie Lily?”

“No my love, he didn’t. They were killed by a very bad wizard, who wanted to hurt Harry.”

“But why? Harry is just a harmless baby, right?”

“You are far smarter than your father.” Remus smiled, “You are right my love, but this wizard was scaried of Harry, and that why he attacked Uncle Prong, and Auntie Lily.” Remus sighed, before standing, “I am going to my room very quick, is your bag packed for Hogwarts?”

“Yes Mooney.” You replied with a smile, as he retreated towards the master room, and towards his bed. Crouching down he withdrew a old shoe box and pulled back the lid to reveal a stack of envelopes, each filled with parchment addressed to both you and him, your father’s handwriting filled the pages. However it was the envelope at the bottom of the stack that Remus needed to reread.

Mooney,

I have to apologize, for these last few months I have been withholding a secret from you, I thought you had turned on us. I was convinced that you had switched sides, and convinced our own friends, our brothers that you couldn’t be trusted. This assumption also lead me to make the worst decision of my life.

I convinced James and Lily to name Wormtail as their secret keeper, in fear that you had told Voldemort I was the Potter’s secret keeper, since I was their closest friend, and The Godfather of their child. James was insistent that he didn’t trust anyone more, but my desire to protect my family led me to lead them to their ultimate demise. That is why I went after Wormtail, and unfortunately he escaped. My guess is he is in some sewer somewhere as the rat that he is, cowarding away from the truth of his crimes.

I am sorry I ever doubted you, and I am sorry my decisions have now no doubt forced you into the role of fatherhood, a role I know that you have always longed for, but never felt you desired. I know Dumbledore has probably brought you my sweet [Y/N], and asked you to take her in. I know you love her as much as James, Lily, and I did, but that you are scared she will judge you once she learns of your condition. I promise you she won’t. I only ask one thing of you Remus..... don’t let her grow up thinking her father betrayed his friends, tell her the truth, tell her I love her.

My dearest brother, I love you, and I ask that you forgive me for what I have done. I will make this up to you, and when I get out, I will not only hug my daughter, but also you.

Padfoot

-Remus never told you about the letters

-The day after you returned from that trip you looked at Remus, “Uncle Mooney, can we plant lilies?”

“Of course Love.” He smiled, as you both went out to the car he had stored away in the garage, and drove to town. That afternoon you both planted Lilies in the entire flower box infront of the cabin windows, a smile on both your faces as you chattered.

-Hargid loved when you visited, you were obsessed with learning about the different creatures on the grounds.

-Remus loved having you in the cabin with him, he tried as hard as he could to raise you the way he imagined Sirius would want you to be raised.

-Remus hated your traumatic threes, he remembered Lily once joking with Sirius about how you will be a rebellious two year old once you hit the terrible twos, but he was not prepared for it to hit when you were three.

-However there was no doubt in his mind you were Sirius’s child, even at a young age you and your father shared a similar sense of humor.

-When you weren’t being a rambunctious toddler, Remus enjoyed taking you for strolls in the forest, he would watch as you touched every tree, and tried to smell all the flowers. He would carry a book with him as well filled with all the different plant varieties, and whenever you found a new one, you and him would sit on the forest floor and rummage through the book until you identified the plant.

-The night after the full moons were always the hardest on Remus, he was still wide awake from sleeping all day, but Dumbledore always brought you back after the great feasts. Remus would sit with you on the couch as you raved about all the professors he had loved while in school, and then at 9:30 he would put you to bed. As soon as you would drift off though he would sit there and watch you sleep, his mind racing with all the possibilities life had to offer you. It also though was flooded with the occasional dread, for you were the daughter of Sirius Black, a man who was now marked as a traitor and a murderer, he feared this would make you the victim of relentless teasing, and isolation among your peers. But he couldn’t let that consume his thoughts as he watched your chest rise and fall.

-Remus always made you pancakes for breakfast, a lesson he learned from Lily when he went to visit her one summer before their fifth year. Her handwriting still graced the page of his journal, which he had open on the counter every time he made them, even though he had already memorized the recipe.

-Snack time always consisted of chocolate.

-He began homeschooling you when you turned 4, your favorite lessons were writing, and defense against the dark arts.

-You once asked why your father never wrote you, Remus lied and said he had no idea, even though Sirius wrote you and him letters constantly. He stored them all in the box.

-When you would go to Hogwarts McGonagall would always bring you into her classroom after lessons were over, and tell you about her days as a quidditch player, and about how your Uncle James was the best chaser she had ever seen.

-You figured out Remus was a werewolf, you were five, and while he tucked you in you let it slip that you knew. He just looked at you in disbelief, but you just smiled, “I mean it makes sense, Uncle Mooney, I mean why else would they call you that?”

“How long have you known about my.... condition?” He finally asked, disbelief still in his voice as you shrugged, “Since about a month before my fourth birthday.”

-One day you offered to stay with Remus during a full moon, however he looked at you and smiled, “No my love, I will be fine, besides I know then that you are safe, and I promised your father I would keep you safe.”

-When you were in the castle, Snape avoided you.

-Dumbledore had already guaranteed that you would be attending Hogwarts, much to Remus’s joy.

-Normally he would read to you from the thousands of books he has filled your room with, however occasionally you would look at him and ask for a story about him and the rest of your family, and with a pained smile he would reminisce about the 10 years of friendship he had.

-When you were 5 he explained to you what Azkaban was, and how that’s where your father was.

-When you turned 6 he took you to Diagon Alley for the first time, you absolutely loved it.

-You were 7 when you asked Remus, “Uncle Mooney, how did Voldemort find Uncle Prongs, and Auntie Lily?”

“What do you mean darling?”

“Well they were in hiding, he shouldn’t have been able to find them, I mean they were apart of one of the most intelligent wizarding organizations in London, and I am sure the Order would have the necessary tools to hide them. So how did he find them?”

“Only one person knew where the Potters were hidden, they were the secret keeper...”

“You mean my father?” You cut him off, as his eyes met yours, “Are you trying to tell me Daddy turned them over to...”

- Your eyes were watering, and Remus watched as your mind processed the new information. After several moments of silence you bolted from the kitchen and slammed your bedroom door.

-After a few hours Remus softly knocked on your door, “Love, can I come in?”

Your room was silent, but the door slowly opened several seconds later, and the imagine broke Remus’s heart. Your eyes were rimmed red, and bloodshot, your face flushed, and the shine of your tears reflected the cabin lights. Your fingers did a quick pass against your cheeks as you whispered, “My father would never turn on the Potters.”

“I know Love.” He lied, because even though he got letters daily from Sirius, pleading to his best friend to believe he was innocent and to give him any news of his little girl, Remus wasn’t sure if he even believed Sirius.

-That night Remus told you the story about how he first met you, and how shocked he was when James called him after speaking to his mother, who had spent the whole day helping Sirius prepare to be a father. You smiled the whole story, as you cling to the black dog plushie Lily had bought you.

-After that you both never brought the subject up again, however you always knew your father was innocent.

-When you turned 8, you had basically mastered basic potions, and whenever you visited Hogwarts, insisted on showing Snape.... however he would tell Dumbledore to watch, and leave the dungeon.

-The day before you turned 9, it was a full moon, meaning you spent your ninth birthday in the castle. You desperately wished that Remus could have been there, but before you left he gave you a big hug, “I promise Love, when you get back I will have the grandest cake for you.”

“You say that every year Uncle Mooney.” You smiled before looking to Dumbledore, “You know if you two would just let me go to Olivandars you wouldn’t need to come collect me all the time.”

“Yes, and we would all get in trouble for you having a wand before you come of age, and for using magic outside of Hogwarts.” Dumbledore reminded you as you rolled your eyes at him, both smiling as the Black sas came out.

“Yes, but Dumbledore if I remember correctly you have connections within the ministry, prehaps...”

“I fear not even I would be able to save you from the punishment of those crimes, however don’t worry my dear, two more years, and you will have the wand of your dreams, and be able to practice magic at Hogwarts, just like everyone else.”

“You two are no fun.” You retorted as the two men just looked at each other and chuckled.

-That night you went to Hagrid’s hut, the lights shining on the freshly cut grass as you climbed the stairs alone. Your tiny fist pounding against the wood as you waited for the warm glow from inside to wash over you. When Hagrid opened the door however you saw he was wearing a party hat, “[Y/N]! Just the angel I wanted to see.”

“Hello Hagrid, seen any exciting creatures today?” You leaned forward and hugged the tall man, his lips curling up as he replied, “It just so happens I did, tell me [Y/N], have you ever heard of a Billywig?”

“Don’t joke like that Hagrid, Billywigs are only in Australia, and besides they are extinct.”

“I saw it in a book, see Professor Kettleburn was here showing me one of his new textbooks, and they have a whole section on those nasty little buggers.”

“Oh, I do love when he gets new textbooks.” You smiled as you noticed the small cake on the table, “Hagrid, why is there a cake on the table?”

“Well it isn’t every day that your favorite little girl turns nine.” He replied, “Baked it myself, figured you would rather a homemade chocolate cake instead of one made by the elves in the kitchen.”

-It was a small, round, pink cake, with your name written in green frosting (it looked very similar to the one he made Harry on his birthday), a huge smile on your face as you looked over to him, “I love it.”

-That night you slept on Hagrid’s couch, which had happened many times before. Fang laid on the floor in the front of the couch, your hand gently touching his fur with your finger tips, as Hagrid laid a quilted blanket over you.

-That day you sat in Dumbledore’s office, your nose in a book from the Library, your legs curled up under you as you flipped through the pages. Fawkes sitting with his eyes on you as you sat in silence, which was interrupted by a chuckle from Dumbledore.

“[Y/N], have I ever told you about the time your father played muggle music on his Walkman at top volume, and danced around the great hall when he returned from Christmas break?”

“Never.” You replied, closing the book, and looking towards the elder, for he had never really told you anything about when your father attended school, or was in the order.

“I believe the song was called Cry For Me Argentina, somehow James and him had planned out an entire choreographed dance, in which James was throwing rose petals behind your father, who was dramatically twirling down the center aisle of the Great Hall. Poor Remus and Peter trailing behind them, trying their hardest to make it look like they knew what was even going on.” Dumbledore reminisced, as you smiled.

-That’s how the rest of the night went, and at some point McGonnagall joined in, adding her own stories. “Your father is the reason I stopped using the word serious, ever time I did in class, or in the common room he would reply, They’re not serious, I am.”

-When you returned that evening to the cabin, Remus had decorated the entire cabin, streamers hung from the ceiling, as the floor was littered with balloons. The table was set, and platters were stacked high with all your favorite desserts. A bowl filled with chocolate sat on the coffee table, and in the middle of the counter space sat a chocolate cake, covered in your favorite fruit, and homemade frosting.

-He let you stay up extra late that night, both of you sat on the couch with your noses in books. Once midnight came around, you looked to Remus, and excused yourself. After hugging him and shutting your door he let out a sigh and opened the drawer to the side table, his hand pulling out a perfectly new envelope, addressed to you, and opened. His fingers slipping into the tear and extracting a piece of parchment,

My Sweet [Y/N],

Today you are nine, oh how I wish I could see you. I am sure you are just a beautiful as I was at your age, and probably just as troublesome to your Uncle Remus. Someday I hope to see you again, or hear from you, so that I can tell you just how much my heart longs for you. I can never make up for the years we have lost, I have tried to think of a way a thousand times but every solution is never enough, nothing I can ever say or do will ever make up for the fact that I am the reason they are dead, and that the real traitor is still free, probably hiding in some dumpster somewhere, as the guilt of his actions naw away at his soul, or for the fact that my best friend is now the one tucking you in at night, and reading you stories, and feeding you chocolate after 10pm, just like he did to me countless nights. You are in good, safe hands my darling [Y/N], but alas they are not the hands you belong in. I would kill for just one chance to see you again on your birthday, I can still picture in my head how you looked on your first birthday, when your Aunt Lily decorated her entire flat, and slaved away for hours on your cake. Poor Prongs had to come hid out at our place just to avoid stressing her more. I doubt you remember that, but sometimes I like to think you do still remember them, and how much they loved you. You were the star we all needed in our blanketed midnight sky, and I can only hope you are that same joyous light for Uncle Mooney, who sometimes forget there is joy in life, and that our alements don’t define us. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss you, or the little family we had.

Happy Birthday my Love,

Dad

-Remus’s eyes watered as he read the letter over and over before walking into his room and adding it to the box, his mind wandering far from the current moment in time, and back to that small flat 8 years ago, when they were all smiling with happiness on your first birthday.

-That night he chose to stay in his own room, and look through his own memory keepsakes from his time at Hogwarts, tears freely running down his face as silent sobs scratched at his throat.

-When you awoke the next morning, he had already dried his tears, and wore a smile for you, as though nothing had happened.

-When you turned 11, Remus took you to Diagon Alley, and bought you everything he remembered needing his first year of Hogwarts.

-You were so excited to go to Ollivander’s, your grin was ear to ear as he stated, “No doubt you are a Black child, you have the same wildness behind your eyes as your father and uncle, let us hope however you are not as twisted as...”

“That is quite enough.” Remus interrupted, “We would like to see your finest wands please?”

-That was the first time you had ever experienced someone directly saying something negative to you because of who your father was, your heart torn as you took the first wand into your hands, “Unicorn hair core, black walnut wood, 10.5 inches.”

“Well give it a flick dear.” Remus encouraged, however at the flick of your wrist, all the wands rocketed off of the shelves.

“I’m sorry Mr. Ollivander, but I think we might need to try another.” You smiled shyly, as you placed the wand down immediately.

“I would say so, let me see if we have something more appropriate.” He forced a smile as he retreated towards the back, “Prehaps this will be more family appropriate, your grandmother had a similar one, Dragon heartstring core, black walnut, 8 inches.”

-When you gave it a flick, a small beam shot out of it, and landed on the papers, causing a small fire to overtake the top of the stack. Withdrawing his wand Remus quickly extinguished the flame, however Ollivander’s attention was on something else, and quickly he turned on his heels and made his way towards the wands scattered on the floor, mumbling to himselfbefore loudly exclaiming, “This is the one, I can feel it my dear, almost exactly as another wand I sold back in the day, it is just a 1/4 inch shorter, measuring at 10 inches, it’s made of cypress wood, and the core is unicorn hair.”

-Remus’s eyebrow raised as Ollivander named off the characteristics of his own wand, but before he could say anything you had the wand in hand, and without even a flick, it immediately started to shine, a slight breeze overtook the room as Ollivander smiled, “The wand chooses the witch Miss Black, and it seems you have far more in common with Mr. Lupin than you thought.”

-When you returned home you looked at Remus, “Thank you for today, I had a lot of fun.” You smiled

“No problem Love, however I am exhausted, so how’s about we turn in early for the night.”

“Of course Uncle Mooney.” You replied as you turned into your own room, and shut the door, leaving him to stand in the living room and wonder about the future.

-He addressed his issues to Dumbledore the next time he saw him, “You don’t think the others will bully her for her father’s crimes, do you?”

“I highly doubt any of her peers will even know the story of her father’s crimes, she will be fine Remus.”

“And what shall we do about Sirius, I mean I wouldn’t put it past him to send her a letter while she is at school. I don’t want her head filled with his lies.” Remus inquired, as he looked out the window to see you tending to the lillies.

“Sirius is no threat to her at Hogwarts, she will be safe Remus, I promise.” He reassured him as he let out a shaky breath, “I would hope so.”

“Besides she has Black blood in her, and was raised by 1 of the best tricksters in Hogwarts history, and was brought up with James Potter, she can no doubt handle herself if trouble arises.”

-You were insistent on taking the train your first year, even though Dumbledore offered to take you straight to Hogwarts, “I want to be treated as a normal student Dumbledore.”

“And so you shall.” He smiled

-Remus was secretly falling apart on the inside when he was walking you to platform 9&10, his mind filled with thoughts of all the trouble you could get into, the things you could be bullied for, but also at the sense of loss he was going to feel, the longest he had ever been away from you in the past nine years was 24 hours, and now he wasn’t going to see you again until Christmas. However all of that melted away when he saw your smile, and for a second it was like he was seeing the smile of an 11 year old Sirius Black.

-You got to 9 3/4 beautifully, Remus right behind you as you pushed your cart towards the enormous train, the platform was filled with adults and students, all trying to sort through the chaos.

-Before boarding you wrapped Remus in the tightest hug you could muster, “I’ll write you every day, and I promise I will be on my best behavior.”

“I know Love.” He whispered, as you looked up at him, a excited smile on your face, “I love you.”

“I love you too Uncle Mooney.”

-Those were the last words you said to him before boarding the train, his feet planted firmly on the platform until the train pulled away, his eyes watching as the train got smaller the further it went towards the horizon, until it was completely out of sight. A shaker breath released from his lungs, unaware he was even holding it in, as the reality of the situation set in, for the first time in a long time..... he was completely alone.

-Upon arriving home, the cabin was pitch black, and silent as the grave. His hands reached out towards the light switch, which flooded the room with a harsh yellow glow. His feet carried him straight into his room, to where his bookshelf stood. His fingers running across the spines of each book until he found the one dated for 1979, withdrawing it he looked at the cover of the photo album and retreated to your room. Once inside, he took a deep breath and was overwhelmed with the scent of you, a ping of sadness overtaking him as he sank onto your mattress, and opened the book to see the animated faces of his friends. Each page holding a memory, both before and after you entered their lives, as he relived the moments in his head. He stayed up all night looking at all the albums he had created those past 11 years.

-When you boarded the train, you were looking for anywhere there was available seating, and you knocked on the glass of the first one you saw, “Mind if I sit here?”

“Not at all.” One of the two identical ginger boys exclaimed, his face was slightly rounder than the other boys, and his smile was large as you sat down across from him, “Are you a first year too?” the other asked.

“Yeah, I’m [Y/N], and you are?”

“I’m Fred, He’s George.” The rounder faced one replied

“I’m George, he’s Fred.” The other replied right after

-You spent the whole train ride joking with the twins, and found that you all had a similar sense of humor. However soon the conversation shifted, “So which house do you think you’ll be sorted into?” George asked

“Probably Hufflepuff, honestly I have a sweet tooth, and the closer to the kitchen the better.” You joked as the boys chuckled.

“Well as Weasley’s there is only one house we’lol get sorted into.” Fred replied cocky, “Our whole family has been Gryffindors.”

“Ah so you are lions.” You joked as Fred and George let out fake roars, just as the train stopped at a platform. With smiles you three rose and made your way towards the exit, and once on the platform you heard a familiar voice, “All first years come with me, everyone else make your way to the carriages.”

-“Hagrid!” You exclaimed, separating from the boys as you ran towards the half giant, who extended his arms open and caught you.

“[Y/N]!” He exclaimed, “mighty fine seeing you here, how was the ride?”

“Splendid, just like I imagined, tell me, did the elves make Yorkshire pudding tonight?”

“Course they did, it wouldn’t be the first day feast without it.” He smiled, “However your friends seem to be looking a wee bit confused.”

-When you turned around Fred and George were just looking at you, and with a smile you joked, “What, have my lions never seen a half giant before?”

“No, we are just wondering how you know each other?” Fred questioned

“Now that boys is a secret I shall never tell.” You smiled, before taking both their hands, “Now come on, we don’t want to miss the boats.”

-It was in the boat that you met Lee Jordan, and soon realized he would be joining your friend group.

-Once outside the great hall you turned towards the boys, “Now we make a promise here, no matter what house we get, we will still all be friends, no matter what.”

“Unless one of us gets Slytherin, no one in Slytherin ever turns out being a good guy.” George replied

“Even if one of us gets Slytherin.” You replied, to which the three sighed, but ultimately agreed.

-When McGonagall started calling names you smiled at the members of staff, and watched as each of your friends got sorted into Gryffindor. Finally you heard McGonagall’s voice say your name, “[Y/N] Black.”

-A hush feel over the great hall as you approached the hat, McGonagall smiled at you as you slowly took your place upon the stool, and felt the fabric of the talking hat touch your hair, before it’s voice filled your head, “Ahhhhhhh another member of the Black Family, this should be easy to sort out, I mean you’re a descendant from a long line of Slytherins. I think your father was the only oddball of the family, what you might call a black sheep.”

“Please, don’t put me in Slytherin.” You thought, your eyes closed as you thought it louder

“Oh why not, someone with your talent could excel in Slytherin, besides who doesn’t love a cunning woman with a bit of poisoned blood in her veins. I mean your father was a traitor, whose to say you won’t be the same.”

“My father was not a traitor, he was a loyal friend, and a fighter. He would never turn his back on his family, because you might say I am a descendent of Slytherin but everyone in my family were...” 

“Gryffindor!” The hat screamed, as the table cheered loudly, your eyes opening as your face cracked a smile. Your feet excitingly carried you to the place beside George, as you looked toward Dumbledore, who wore a proud smile on his face as well.

-Your first week of classes was a breeze, Fred and George were baffled by the fact that you knew all of them, and were glad that you were their friend, since you were clearly the brightest witch of your year.

-You went to Dumbledore’s office once while you were free and looked at the hat sitting atop the shelf, “Are you sure you put me in the proper house?” You asked

“Of course I am, you showed true bravery standing up for your father, and loyalty. Both are vital traits of a true gryffindor.”

-You and the twins were inseparable, and within the first two weeks of school were already plotting on who to prank, and how.

-You sent a letter to Remus everyday as promised, and everyday he would send you a reply. However a month into school, you one day received two letters. The first was from Remus, but the second bore no return address.

-You waited until you were in your dorm room to open it, safely seated on your bed, you closed the curtains and tore the envelope open, withdrawing the parchment, you read the scribbles on the page,

Dear [Y/N] Euphemia Black,

Hello, it is odd to think that these are the first words you will ever be reading from me, even though I have written you a hundred times before. However knowing how stubborn your Uncle Mooney is, I doubt he has even told you that I have been writing you since they locked me away.

Where to begin, words can’t even describe how I have been feeling since they ripped me away from you, nor can anything make up for the lost years of communication we have had. Not a single day goes by where I don’t envision your beautiful [Y/E/C] eyes, or how your face looked, or remember how you used to dart around the house like a child overdosing on sugar. Truly your impact on my life has been the only thing keeping me sane in this insane asylum prison all these years. I am sorry I can’t have a similar impact on your life.

You are 11 now, meaning g you have just started the best adventure of your life, it was at Hogwarts that I met your Uncle Prongs, and Mooney, and unfortunately met Uncle Wormtail as well. I wish some days I never met that traitor, or that I wasn’t so self absorbed in my own beliefs. I was wrong to doubt your Uncle Mooney, when the real traitor was right under my nose the whole time, and I gave him the loaded gun to destroy our entire friend group, and your childhood. No child should ever have to endure what you and Harry did. How I wish I knew where he was, since I doubt that they would give Mooney both of you, and I have no idea where Auntie Lily’s family is. I just know where you are, and that you were safe in Uncle Mooney’s cabin all these years.

I would love to hear from you, written on the back is how to reach me. I have so many years to catch up on, and so little time to do so.

I love you my darling, never forget that.

Dad

-By the time you reached the end of the letter you were crying, and every time you reread his words more tears started to flow down your face. Soon your vision was blurred and the words manifested into blobs on the page, but by that point you had already memorized most of it.

-You stayed in bed the rest of the day, and once night had fallen over the castle you made your way to the common room where a very concerned set of ginger twins sat on the stair to the first year girls dormitories with Lee., who was leaning opposite them in the doorway.

When he saw you Lee looked at you with concern, causing the boys to turn and look as well. Wasting no time they jumped up and wrapped you in a tight embrace. When they pulled away Lee wrapped you in a embrace, and then they led you to one of the secluded couches. They kept asking you what was wrong and finally you broke, and told them that you just found out your pet hamster had passed away. Not wanting them to know your family secret.

-The next day you responded to your father’s letter, and started what would soon become a weekly interaction with your estranged father.

-You never told Remus or any of the professors you were in contact with your father.

-your father was so happy when he received your first letter, and cried as he read the seven pages of parchment that you sent him.

-You helped the tricksters with their assignments, and the pranks.

-McGonagall couldn’t help chuckling to Dumbledore one day, and stated, “Isn’t it funny how she has found herself her own group of tricksters?”

“It is, especially since she has become just like Remus.” Dumbledore compared to her as she groaned, “Does that make the Weasleys James and Sirius?”

“I fear it does.” Dumbledore replied

-You were at the top of the class when Christmas break came.

-Before leaving you and the boys decided to do secret Santa when you all returned from christmas break. Each of you wrote your names on a piece of parchment and put it in a hat, drawing one by one. You were the last to draw, and you had gotten Fred.

-When she went home that Christmas Remus was waiting for her anxiously on the platform, however before you were reunited with your uncle, Fred and George followed their brothers towards their family, each of your hands in one of theirs as they led you towards the other Weasleys to introduce you.

-When they heard your last name they immediately knew who your father was, and why he was in Azkaban, but later that night after Arthur expressed his concerns Molly defended you, “We can’t judge her because of her father, and besides, did you see how smitten the boys were to introduce us to their best friend.

-When you saw Remus, you broke away from the twins and ran towards him, your arms snaking around his neck as he picked you up.

-You immediately introduced him to the twins. He looked at both of them and smiled, “So you are the boys my niece has told me so much about?”

-When you got home, you immediately started tell Remus about all the non secretive stuff you left out of your letters. Once you got inside though you looked at him, “Uncle Mooney, have you ever heard of the Marauders Map?”

“Why?”

“Fred and George knicked it from Flich during one of their detentions, and on the front of the parchment it states master Mooney, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prong. I only know four men whom go by those names.”

-He told you everything about the map, and you immediately wrote to the twins to tell them how to open the map. When you were done, and sent the letter off to them, you turned slightly and looked at Remus, “Uncle Mooney?”

“Yes Love?”

“Why have you been hiding my father’s letters from me?”

-He was silent, his face paling, as his hand slightly started to shake. He felt hot suddenly and lost the ability to talk, as you continued, “I want to see them please Uncle Mooney.”

-All he whispered was, “How?”

“He told me, please Remus.” His real name sounded so foreign slipping off your tongue, “I deserve to know.”

-He got the box, and sat at the dining room table, as you slid into the chair across from him. Your fingers casually slid along the lock as you opened the lid and revealed 9 years worth of unread letters. Remus’s eyes focused on the table, never lifting as you read each letter in silence, and finally you reached the first letter, where he had pleaded to his friend his innocence.

“You had all of these for years.” You whispered, “And yet you still doubt him?”

“[Y/N]...” his voice was barely audible, but the heartbreak in his tone and body language was loud, your watering eyes meeting as he took a shaky breath, “I love you.”

“Yet you knew my father was reaching out, that he is rotting away in a cell alone, and you..” your voice cracked, “you let him rot in there alone.”

-You left the table immediately, and went into your room, where you stayed for two days, until you came out to Remus asleep on the couch, the house a mess. You immediately started cleaning as you walked around, along with covered Remus with a blanket. When he awoke, you were seated on the floor facing him, his eyes bloodshot as you whispered, “I love you too.”

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

[hockeylvr59]

Ooh okay I have a song fix request for Cale makar!!! You are in love by Taylor Swift

Okay, so this song is perfect for Cale. I wasn’t sure quite how to write this but then I realized it was kind of a perfect short form format for an ongoing concept I’ve talked about with @makethecupbigger. So I hope you enjoy it and if you have any questions about the full mental story (because I skimmed and skipped a lot of things) feel free to ask. This ended up being 1,868 words including the song lyrics. 

__________

One look, dark room

Meant just for you

Time moved too fast, you play it back

Buttons on a coat, lighthearted joke

No proof, not much, but you saw enough

Meeting Cale had been a surprise, another twist on the roller coaster of your life. From losing your older sister and becoming a mother to your four-month-old niece to picking up everything and moving across the country to Denver, Colorado, it was too much for a 22-year-old to handle. 

That was probably why when you met a beautiful blonde woman at a music class for your now six-month-old little one, you spilled out everything in response to her soft eyes and caring question. 

That conversation was how you’d ended up spending a Sunday afternoon watching football in the home of Gabe Landeskog, captain of the Colorado Avalanche. You’d been shocked and slightly embarrassed when he answered the door, greeting you and taking the plate of cookies you’d brought along before ushering you and the tiny bundle in your arms into the house with a warm smile. How had you not placed it before? You weren’t sure but you did your best to not freak out, instead greeting Mel and letting her take your jackets before making your way to the living room where Matt Calvert and his wife Courtney were located. 

You’d been cuddling little Emerson when Cale had walked through the door just as the game kicked off having been out in the backyard playing with the Calvert’s boys. You’d felt his eyes on you immediately and you ducked your head into Emerson’s tiny body in response. The feeling of his eyes barely left you for the rest of the afternoon as you cheered at the game and when Emerson crawled across the living room floor and pulled her tiny body onto the young defenseman’s lap his soft voice spoke directly to you for the first time assuring you that she was fine. The sight of him brushing his fingers against the fine coating of dark hair on her head made your heart do things it had never done before and as you moved to leave so you could get Emerson to bed you thanked him softly as he held her while you buttoned your coat. You joked that you appreciated him humoring her because she evidently wasn’t used to the avid sports fan side of you just yet and the way he looked at you spoke so many things you didn’t understand, couldn’t understand for so many reasons. 

The light reflects the chain on your neck

He says, "Look up"

And your shoulders brush

No proof, one touch, but you felt enough

It had been a few weeks since that afternoon watching football when Mel had invited you and Emerson to join her and Gabe and Linnea and Matt and Courtney and the kids on a weekend hike. Being in a new city with no one to rely on and an infant that needed constant care was hard and you appreciated Mel’s efforts to make sure that you weren’t completely detached from the outside world. 

When you’d met them at the national park, you were surprised to see Cale there but you chalked up his presence to some team bonding thing and just tried to focus on the beautiful warm fall day. Of course, the problem with going on a hike with a bunch of pro athletes and their families was that while normally this hike would be no problem, you weren’t used to doing this kind of thing with a 16-pound baby attached to your chest. Emerson’s presence had thrown your weight off balance a couple of times and though you had thankfully been able to steady yourself, you could feel your stamina weakening as the group stopped by a stream to take a short break. 

It had been Mel’s suggestion for you to let Cale carry Emerson for a while. Looking over at the now shirtless defenseman he assured you that he was willing if you wanted before coming over as you unstrapped the baby from your own chest to affix her to Cale’s. Struggling with one of the straps Cale murmured for you to look up and after a moment you were helping to shift Emerson to him, your fingers brushing against his solid muscles accidentally. The touch sent sparks through your body, sparks that were foreign to you. Between the sparks and the way Cale holding Emerson like she was weightless looked you knew you were in trouble, you just didn’t know how much. 

You can hear it in the silence (Silence), silence (Silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (Way home), way home (Way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (Lights out), lights out (Lights out)

You are in love, true love

You are in love

When Cale had finally asked you out, you were hesitant. You had baggage, more baggage than Cale could possibly understand, more baggage than it would ever be fair to dump on him. But he persisted, insisting that he didn’t care that you were a mom, that he thought Emerson was adorable and didn’t care if dates with you also meant dates with her. It was only then that you’d learned of and corrected his misconceptions, that Emerson wasn’t biologically your daughter and therefore none of this was that easy. 

Cale was patient though, he didn’t push but he kept coming around. He made it his goal to prove to you that you could let him in and that there was nothing that would scare him away. For months you assumed that if he loved anyone it was Emerson because how could you not love her but eventually Cale started tumbling your walls not brick by brick but crumbling them all at once. 

Morning, his place

Burnt toast, Sunday

You keep his shirt, he keeps his word

And for once, you let go

Of your fears and your ghosts

One step, not much, but it said enough

Months of casual dates and tiptoeing around things turned more serious with a simple knock on a door. It had been your sister’s birthday, the first since her passing, and you found yourself drowning in waves of grief, unable to keep yourself afloat. Driving aimlessly for a while had led you to Cale’s place and when you knocked on the door, a sleeping baby in your arms he accepted you into his home without question, pulling you close and holding you tight. You told him everything that night and he didn’t run, didn’t pull away. Instead, he only pulled you closer, dressing you in one of his shirts before cuddling close, letting you cry nearly a year’s worth of bottled-up tears. 

When you left the next morning you left some of your baggage abandoned, taking with you instead his shirt and a piece of something bigger and better. 

You kiss on sidewalks

You fight and you talk

One night, he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says "You're my best friend"

And you knew what it was, he is in love

Bigger and better comes with bumps in the road and on at least one occasion you screamed at him wondering why he was even bothering with someone like you. Yet somehow, you made it through, trying to be there for him the same way he was for you. 

When the Avs were eliminated from playoffs you weren’t sure what to do or how Cale would respond so you opted to give him space for the first night. But when he didn’t respond to you the next day you made your way to his place finding him a shell of himself in bed. Crawling in beside him, you and Emerson spent the whole day just taking care of him and loving him and when he woke that night thanking you, you knew that it wasn’t just Emerson he loved, it was you. 

You can hear it in the silence (Silence), silence (Silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (Way home), way home (Way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (Lights out), lights out (Lights out)

You are in love, true love

Being loved by Cale and loving him in return was everything you didn’t know was possible. It was waking up in his arms. It was snuggling on the couch. It was watching him with Emerson, being a dad you never thought she’d have. It was the way he defended you to his parents, the way he’d asked you to spend the summer with him in Calgary. 

It was seeing your little girl surrounded by rose petals in the yard of your summer rental before turning to find him on one knee promising to love you forever. 

And so it goes

You two are dancing in a snow globe, 'round and 'round

And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown

And you understand now

Why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words

You married on a snowy November morning in the woods of the same park where you’d taken your first hike just months after getting engaged. As you stood wrapped in Cale’s arms to ward off the cold, you finally knew that this was it, this is real and true and forever. Later, when you slow danced in the home Cale had purchased for you, the first family photo, one from your wedding just hours earlier, hung on the living room wall, as so many family photos would in the years to come. 

'Cause you can hear it in the silence

You can feel it on the way home

You can see it with the lights out

You are in love, true love

You are in love

When you found out you were expecting your first child together you heard it in his shock and awe. 

When you drove home beside your Stanley Cup-winning husband you felt it. 

And when you slipped into bed after feeding your newborn daughter you could see it as his eyes glimmered with love. 

You can hear it in the silence (Silence), silence (Silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (Way home), way home (Way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (Lights out), lights out (Lights out)

You are in love, true love

You are in love

You can hear it in the silence (Silence), silence (Silence), you

You can feel it on the way home (Way home), way home (Way home), you

You can see it with the lights out (Lights out), lights out (Lights out)

You are in love, true love

You are in love

When you’d met Cale by surprise on a Sunday afternoon, you never knew that it would lead to so many happy years of marriage, six wonderful kids, three Stanley Cups, and so many many joys. 

That every day you would hear, feel, and see Cale’s love for you all around. That you would ever know true love.

[purrincess-chat]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH11

And here the plot thickens! There’s a lot coming up in this next section that I hope you will all love. I’ve spent the most time in this middle portion, and I’m really happy with a lot of the character arcs coming up. Enjoy!

Previous    First    Next      AO3

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Chapter 11: Rain on Me

“It’s not much, but…”

Tall columns stretched up to the ceiling on either side of the grand staircase, and Marinette’s reflection beamed back at her in the tile. The foyer was bright and airy—a stark contrast to the duller hues of Adrien’s house. Macy’s home was grand but also inviting.

Eliott shoved Macy playfully. “I’ll say. My foyer is much bigger.”

Macy shoved him back, sticking out her tongue. “C’mon, I’ll show you my room.” She bounced up the stairs cheerfully, leading them to the door at the end of the hall. “This whole wing is mine actually. I’ve got a movie theater, a private bathroom—I even have my own sound studio.”

“I’ve begged my father to build a theater, but he doesn’t like the idea of having a lot of teenagers in his house,” Adrien said with a hint of envy. “Do you mind if I take a look?”

“You can look at whatever you want,” Macy giggled.

Martin and Eliott exchanged looks.

“I’ll go with them.” Martin followed them up the hall.

“Marinette, come check out the closet. Macy’s handbag collection is to die for.” Eliott took her hand and pulled her into Macy’s room. “Julius, can you bring us up some tea? Set it up on the terrace.”

Macy’s butler nodded politely before retreating from the room.

“You’re really comfortable here,” Marinette remarked as Eliott threw open the closet doors.

"Macy and I grew up together. We've been friends forever, so it's almost like I live here too," he said, sifting through a rack of designer dresses. "We're basically family."

"That's so awesome. I wish I had someone like that," Marinette said. She examined the photos hanging on Macy's vanity, smiling young faces that were all too familiar. "Who's the girl in these pictures? She looks a lot like you. Is she your sister?"

Eliott stopped, cautiously crossing the room to stand beside her. He shoved his hands into his pockets and frowned. "No, that's me.”

Marinette's eyebrows raised. "Oh. Oh. Okay." She nodded, turning back to the pictures awkwardly.

"Is that okay?" Eliott asked.

"Of course."

Eliott relaxed, trailing his thumb over the edge of the photo. "I started transitioning the summer before collége. I’m lucky that my family is so supportive," he explained. “Not many people at school know besides Macy—just a few teachers. I’m always a bit scared to tell new people because I don’t know how they’ll react, and even though we haven’t known each other that long, I trust you, Marinette.”

"Um, thank you for telling me." She clasped her hands together. “It means a lot to know you see me that way. After everything… I needed friends like you and Macy.”

"I should be thanking you. I’ve changed for the better every day since I met you. I can tell you have that effect on people,” he said. “Besides, it's who I am, and I don’t want to hide it from my friends. It’s just… not everyone is so understanding.”

"Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” Marinette said. Her cheeks warmed when Eliott scooped her into a tight hug.

Things in her life were so different now. Different school, different people, but deep down, Marinette was still the same. Loving her friends wasn’t a bad thing. Alya may have turned her back on their friendship, but that didn’t mean that everyone in her life would. Eliott’s confidence in her was proof enough that these people would stay by her side.

“You two can go ahead out to the terrace,” Macy’s voice sounded in the hall, and a moment later, she appeared in the doorway. “Did you show her my limited-edition handbag collection?” She leaned against the frame with a knowing look.

“Yeah, she thinks they’re great.” Eliott winked.

“Good,” Macy said. “We don’t let just anyone see them, so you should feel honored.”

“I do. Moving to a new school was really hard, so I’m glad to have made such good friends so quickly,” Marinette said. “You’ve both changed my life too.”

“Aww,” Macy and Eliott cooed.

Eliott lifted her hand to his lips. “Don’t worry. From now on, we’re here for you, Marinette.”

“Yeah, you’re one of us now.”

♪♫♪ The Wrecked and the Worried ♪♫♪

“Thanks for taking me home,” Marinette said as Gorilla pulled out onto the street. “Macy lives so far away from my house.”

Adrien smiled at her, the warmth from his chest spreading to his cheeks. Marinette was so much happier with her new friends. Seeing her face light up when she laughed at one of Eliott’s jokes, or the slight furrow in her brow when Macy waved 2000 euros away like it was pocket change set his mind at ease.

The more distance Marinette put between her and Francoise-Dupont, the happier she became, and the more Lila’s threats lost their bite. Out of everyone in their class, he had always been drawn to Marinette. Maybe it was her courage or her compassionate nature that he admired so much or maybe her optimistic attitude. She’d lost everything because of Lila, and yet, she’d still managed to pick up the pieces and find happiness again.

In such a short time, he’d become so protective of her. He never wanted that smile to fade or those brilliant bluebell eyes to dim. More than anything, he wanted her to be free from the past, and he’d do anything to help her get there. Marinette deserved the best—she shared her light freely all the time and never asked for anything in return, so now he was going to do the same for her.

“It’s no trouble. I’m happy that I get to spend time together with just you,” he said. “Your new friends are really nice.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about Macy. She just gets really excited.” Marinette winced.

“It’s okay,” he chuckled. “Your designs look amazing so far.”

Her cheeks darkened three shades. “I dunno about that. They’re still pretty messy…Clara probably won’t like them.”

“Why not? You’re really talented. I’m sure she will love them.” He assured her.

“Thanks, I guess. I’m just so nervous about it.” She hugged her bag to her chest and bit her lip. “I still can’t believe I have an opportunity like this right now. It’s always been my dream to be a designer, but I pictured it as something I wouldn’t achieve until I was older. I feel so under-qualified.”

“You’re already a great designer, Marinette, and people are starting to see that,” he said. “You shouldn’t be so modest.”

“I know, but I can’t help it,” she said. “I don’t want to brag or seem full of myself.”

“I don’t think anyone thinks you’re full of yourself. It’s not wrong to brag every once in a while, especially for someone as incredible as you.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and offered her a warm smile. “We’re all just proud of you, and we want you to be proud of yourself. You deserve it.”

Marinette bit back a smile, cheeks pink and eyes shining in the dim light. How had he gotten so lucky to meet someone like her? She was so smart and driven and kind. Unlike Lila. Marinette was going to change the world for real someday—Clara was just step one.

“Well, looks like this is me,” she said as the limo slowed to a stop. “Thanks again for the ride.”

“You’re welcome, anytime.” Adrien pulled her in for a hug, kissing both of her cheeks. “See you soon.”

“See you!”

Adrien leaned back against the seat with a sigh, drumming his fingers as the limo pulled away. Lila needed to be stopped at all costs. If she got in the way of Marinette’s future, he’d never forgive her. He hated to admit it, but after his conversation with Nino and Alya, he’d officially run out of nice options. Lila would continue to use people for as long as she could unless they did something. Unless he did something.

Conflict made his skin crawl, but he owed this to Marinette. If he hadn’t been so complaisant, she wouldn’t have changed schools. She and Alya might still be friends, and he could even see Nino outside of class now. This was all his fault.

Granted, if she had stayed, she may not have the same opportunities now, and she never would have met her new friends. There was some good that had come of this. He couldn’t change the past, but he would make sure Marinette had a bright future—one devoid of Lila and her lies.

“Can we stop by the Grand Paris?” he asked, and after a small huff, the limo changed course. “Thank you!”

When Adrien arrived at Chloe’s suite, she was dressed in a silk robe with a green face mask and cucumbers over her eyes. Several stylists worked on her nails, and although she couldn’t see him, she knew the moment he approached.

“Did you come for a mani-pedi?” she asked.

He shifted his weight. “You told me to come back when I was ready to take down Lila, and… I’m ready.”

“Why should I help you? You didn’t help me when I needed you.” Chloe opened her mouth, and her butler placed a small chocolate on her tongue with a pair of tongs.

“Because we’re friends, and I know you’d do anything for me,” he said. When she opened her mouth for another chocolate, undeterred, he added, “because I know you still sleep with your teddy bear.”

A wicked grin curled on her lips, cracking the half-dried, green paste on her face. “Blackmailing me, Adrikins? I’m impressed. You really have come a long way.”

“Please, Chloe? I’ve tried talking to Alya and Nino. I’ve tried convincing Lila to change. I know I screwed up before, but there has to be something else we can do to stop her.” Adrien dropped to his knees, pressing his palms together. “I’m literally begging.”

Chloe hummed thoughtfully to herself while she chewed another chocolate. “How is Dupain-Cheng these days?” she asked.

Adrien’s heart jumped to his throat. “She’s fine, and I want to keep it that way.”

Chloe’s lip twitched, and she sat up abruptly. Her staff scrambled to remove the cucumbers from her eyes as she stood up to meet Adrien’s gaze head-on. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were in love with her. Why else do you care so much about Lila other than the fact that she’s tarnishing Marinette’s reputation?”

“She’s just a friend, and I don’t want Lila to turn everyone against her,” Adrien insisted.

Chloe rolled her eyes. “Even I don’t believe you when you say that anymore, Adrikins.” She turned and waddled carefully to the bathroom, the bottom of her robe trailing the ground. “Lila might lie to others, but you lie to yourself. I can’t decide which is more painful to watch.”

“Chloe-”

She paused in the doorway and looked over her shoulder. “I will think of something to help you with Lila if it’s so important to you,” she said. “Now, I’ve got a date with a hot bubble bath, so beat it.”

“Thank you, Chloe-”

“Out!” She pointed to the door.

Adrien scurried from her suite, mashing the elevator button repeatedly. He pictured Marinette’s smiling face from that afternoon contrasted against her anguished sobs from only a few days before. Lila would pay for those tears, and Adrien would make sure she never caused them again. He’d protect Marinette Dupain-Cheng, no matter the cost.

♪♫♪ Runaways ♪♫♪

“See you tomorrow!” Marinette waved to Macy and Eliott outside Martin’s apartment a few nights later.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride?” Macy gestured to Eliott’s open limo.

“Yeah, I’ll manage. The subway isn’t too far from here, and it’s out of your way,” she insisted.

Eliott pursed his lips but didn’t press. “Alright then. See you tomorrow.” He blew her a kiss.

Marinette started up the street alone, enjoying a brief moment of solitude. After changing schools in the middle of the term, she was in need of a good study session, and her new friends were more than happy to oblige. Martin’s ritzy apartment building was smaller than Macy and Eliott’s sprawling mansions, but still far more luxurious than Marinette’s home.

“For having so much, your new friends are surprisingly generous.” Tikki peeked out from her purse.

“Just because they’re rich doesn’t mean they’re not nice people. Look at Adrien. He’s the nicest person I know.” She sighed dreamily before snapping herself out of it. “Martin, Macy, and Eliott have become people I can really count on. I owe them a lot for embracing me the way they have.”

“Do you think they’re worthy replacements for Rena Rouge and Carapace?” Tikki asked.

Marinette pursed her lips with a hum. “Time will tell. I want to be absolutely certain this time. No more mistakes.”

“Oh my gosh, hey!” A strangely familiar voice cooed.

Marinette stopped short, turning over her shoulder as an arm snaked through her own and tugged. Red hair blurred her vision until bright green eyes locked with hers.

“Wow, what are the odds that we’d run into each other. It’s so awesome to see you.”

Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed as Gabrielle dragged her further up the street. Her tight grip stretched Marinette’s shoulders painfully, but something in her voice seemed off. It was familiar and friendly, which was already puzzling enough, but Marinette also detected a hint of…fear?

“Gabrielle, what’s-”

“There are some creepy guys following me, play along, and I’ll leave you alone for a month,” she hissed. “So, what are you up to?”

Marinette grasped her forearm, giving the illusion of familiarity, even if it was to keep her shoulder from popping out of socket. “Uh, just out and about.”

“Hey, we should see a movie next week.” Gabrielle picked up the pace as they rounded a corner.

Marinette struggled to keep up with her long legs. “Yeah, totally!” She used a parked car to catch a glimpse of their assailants in the reflection. “Do you wanna take the subway with me?”

“We need to shake them off first,” Gabrielle said under her breath.

Marinette pressed her lips together, then nodded. “Follow me.”

Gabrielle arched a brow as Marinette took the lead, veering toward the park across the street. She cut diagonally across to the other exit, stealing a glance over her shoulder as they turned another corner. They were still being followed, their assailants picking up speed to match their pace. Marinette checked the time on her phone, abruptly darting across the street to the next block.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Gabrielle asked through clenched teeth.

“Trust me,” Marinette said.

Gabrielle eyed her skeptically but didn’t argue. Marinette pictured the route in her head, imagining the overhead view. She knew this city better than anyone, and as she ducked around one more corner, she finally made the plunge down into the subway. Gabrielle tensed, but Marinette grabbed her wrist and picked up the pace. They slid onto the subway car just before the doors closed, watching smugly as their pursuers slowed to a stop at the base of the stairs just as the train pulled off.

“Thanks.” Gabrielle averted her gaze stubbornly. “You didn’t have to help me.”

“I know,” Marinette said. She grabbed onto the pole as Gabrielle pulled out her phone and resumed ignoring her. “So, what are you doing out walking? Don’t you have a chauffeur?”

“None of your business.”

Marinette’s eyes narrowed on the apron sticking out of her bag, and Gabrielle shifted to hide it. Something weird was going on with her, but Gabrielle was right—it wasn’t any of her business. They were safe, and that was all that mattered.

“I can make it home from here,” Gabrielle said when the train stopped at the next station. “Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome…” Marinette leaned against the pole with a frown as Gabrielle stalked from the car.

“That was odd,” Tikki said from Marinette’s collar.

“Yeah,” Marinette said when the doors slid shut again. “Really odd.”

[bangchanshehe]

The Trespasser pt.7

You were on top of the world with the new title of leader of your family’s clan. You were the strongest clan in all of the orient and you were proud. But your family feels that there are threats still lurking around making you a target. When they introduce you to a potential man for a business and marriage merger will it help your clan or make matters worse?

Word count: 2.8k

Wonho x Reader, Shownu x Reader, Jooheon x Reader

You and Hoseok had decided to meet at your home so the two of you could finalize things and get the ball rolling on your marriage. And currently the two of you were sitting at your desk and sipping on coffee as you read through each of your terms and conditions that you wanted to add into the basic contract agreement. And as you waited for Hoseok to finish reading through so you could both ask any questions you watched him and admired his features.

His sharp nose and incredibly strong and built body was impressive and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t find him attractive. His lips were full, and his eyes were sharp and yet soft. And even on days like today, where he wasn’t necessarily dressed to kill but in everyday clothing, he still looked like the guy who would have the center of attention in any room that he walked in.

“do you have a habit of staring at people?” Hoseok asked you without even looking up at you

His words hadn’t even registered in your head as you continued to look at his figure and his features. You were staring at his hair when Hoseok realized that you were still looking and hadn’t heard him. He had raised his head up and sat back in his seat with his arms crossed. He gave you a small knowing smirk as you came eye to eye with him and gave him a confused look.

“what?” you asked confused as to Hoseok’s sudden demeanor

He let out a small chuckle and shook his head “nothing” he said softly “did you think that everything was okay?” he asked

“there was one thing I wanted to ask about” you said as you read through his terms and found the one that had slightly concerned you. “Party A reserves the right to end the contract with Party B at any time if Party B’s health declines or if he becomes unfit to perform daily tasks?” you ask as you read out the term

Hoseok gave you a polite smile and took a deep breath before he explained “you know of my health and the extensive surgeries that I have had. So if I were to get injured there is a large possibility that it could also cause some complications in some of my other older injuries.”

You stared at him waiting for him to continue. You had imagined that the clause would be something that was very important or detrimental to the marriage. Not some crap about him having an injury.

Hoseok stared back at you for a moment before he continued with his explanation. “and it could leave me bedridden and dependent on a caretaker…depending on how bad the injuries are.”

You took a moment to reflect on what he had just told you, and a small part of you also felt offended that he would think that him being injured could be an embarrassment or a burden to you. “so you think that I would just toss you away if you were to become injured?” you asked him

“no. I would hope that you wouldn’t, but I would understand that you might need to in a specific circumstance.” He elaborated

You stared at Hoseok as if he had a horn growing out of his head and wondered what had happened to make him think of such a thing. “Let me get one thing clear….” You stared before you continued, hoping that Hoseok would hear how serious you were “if you are to get injured during the contract I will not terminate it. While in term of the contract the two of us will be 50/50 partners and I will never leave one of my own just because they require more assistance or down time. None of your injuries will embarrass me, be a hinderance to me or make me feel superior to you.” You explained

Hoseok swallowed before he gave you one content head nod. And you didn’t know why but you felt like the injuries were definitely a sore spot for Hoseok. And perhaps it was the one thing that he felt insecure about. Maybe he felt that since he had injuries that made him more vulnerable and prone to accidents that he was broken goods or unfit.

“do you get a lot of injuries?” you asked him out of concern for his health and not the contract

Hoseok awkwardly dropped his attention from you to the floor and he shuffled his feet while he tried to avoid answering the question “I don’t get injuries per-say…but some days I wake up with terrible back pains.”

You nodded your head and gave Hoseok a small smile, showing him that you appreciate his openness and honesty. You quickly moved on to another topic so that Hoseok wouldn’t feel attacked or pitied, and bring the focus to yourself.

“is there anything that you needed clarification on from my conditions?” you asked him

Hoseok scanned over your added conditions and then smiled down at one “Party B should only engage in physical contact with Party A in conditions in which it necessary for the integrity of the marriage or when both parties consent.” He looked up at you with a crooked smile. “I understand the first half. But do you care to elaborate on ‘when both parties consent’?” he asked

You held in your laughter and thought to yourself of course mr. playboy had to remember that condition. “that is simply insurance for myself so that you know that any physical contact is to be kept to a minimum. As I have said already this marriage Is just on paper. So its there to make sure that you and I are both on the same terms.”

Hoseok smiled at you and gave you an awkward glance over. Is he upset right now? you could only see his disappointment for a split second before he wiped his emotions from his face, and returned to the smirky playboy.

“is there anything else that you want to look over before things are finalized?” you asked him to redirect the conversation

Hoseok finally leaned forward and flipped to the front of the contract where he found the specifics of the contract terms and dates. “I didn’t find the contract dates anywhere. Was there any time when you wanted to start the contract?”

“things will be official and start the day that we sign the contracts.” You answer

Hoseok gave you a bewildered look “so today? We will be married starting today?” he asked in disbelief

You smiled at him and nodded your head. He looked really cute when he was caught off guard and surprised. But you would never admit that to him. Compliments and small things like that would only confuse and complicate things.

“no ceremonies, no photos, no marriage certificate?” he asked

“of course we will have marriage certificates. All I have to do is give the official okay and they will be sent to us.” You elaborated “but the marriage photos, and ceremonies are of no use to me.”

“hmm” Hoseok hummed as he thought things over “my mom will be a bit bummed about there not being a ceremony, but this isn’t a typical marriage is it?!”

You nodded your head and looked down at your desk thinking things over. You didn’t want to have to do unnecessary things like marriage photos. Because, for all you knew you and Hoseok could end up on bad terms and such things lying around would just be thrown away…. But on the other hand you could understand that he wasn’t doing this for himself but for his parents and for the business. And with all personal feelings aside you also knew that it was something that could potentially come in handy. Plus, your mother would also more than likely be upset that there was no reception or photos.

You took a deep breath before you responded to hoseok’s mumbling. “I honestly don’t find the point in a ceremony, but if you would like to take marriage photos we can.”

Hoseok looked up to you and gave you a small smile. You could tell that he was surprised in you offering to do something more… marital, but when you sign the contract things are supposed to be 50/50. And if it means that taking a day to take marriage photos would make both parties and their families happy, then it was worth it.

“I think that would be nice. I mean I obviously can’t speak for you but I would like marriage photos to show the family.” He said softly while he looked at you with a glowing smile.

“Fine. We can schedule it.” You said returning his smile back.

You turned to look at your calendar on your computer and your phone and frowned when you noticed that you had a message from Minhyuk

Min: The boys and I are out doing some training at the warehouse. The house is empty for you and the Mr. to explore and look around

You didn’t know why but you had a sinking feeling about all of the men being outside of the house on purpose. It felt like they were speaking behind your back and that also means that Shownu and Jooheon would have been involved in the conversation. And you didn’t want to wave this in their faces any more than you absolutely had to.

“care to take a look around and get familiar with the place?” You offered to Hoseok as you pushed the negative thoughts out of your mind

Hoseok smiled and stood up from his seat and you quickly stood with him and then guided him through the office and around the house. You showed him every corner and allowed for him to enter every room and ask whatever questions that he wanted. He was impressed by the gym and the size of the industrial kitchen, and it was obvious that he was excited about moving in, despite there being multiple people who also live in the house with you. But you knew that it would be big changes for him since he had always lived with his family and clan. You were almost done showing him around the house until you came to the only wing left. The only room that you hadn’t shown him was your own and his.

“and this room will be yours if you approve” you said as you opened the door to the spare empty bedroom that sat just across from yours

You had stepped out of the way and watched as he walked inside, looking the walls up and down. He took the time to look inside the closets, check out the in-suite bathroom and come across the hidden door that led to his own panic room and office space.

“what is this?” he asked as he looked at the almost invisible seam on the walls

You stepped forward and smiled at him before you pulled the fake light panel out and revealed the wall opening touchpad. You turned to look at hoseok’s expression, but he was absolutely astounded by what he was witnessing and waited patiently for you to completely open the wall.

You tapped once on the screen and then put your finger on the touch pad, waiting to hear the familiar beep that it was unlocked. Only a moment later the secret door had come unlatched and you had eagerly pushed through it. Inside there was a small hallway that led to the secret office space and you waited for Hoseok inside.

“woah!” he said quietly in surprise as he walked through. “this is incredible!”

You chuckled “this is your secret office space. Though of course you can use it for whatever you want….and in the hallway there where you first came in the floor can be lifted and underneath there is a secret panic room”

Hoseok looked back to the hallway and smiled as he tried to find the giveaway that it was a secret passage. But when he couldn’t find anything he looked back at you in amazement. “this is incredible”

“yes. You’ve already said that!” you chirped back sarcastically. “so do you like it?” you asked him with a smile already knowing that he was in love with the house but the secret room had sealed the deal.

“are you kidding me?!” he laughed “my house is so dull compared to this. You know as a kid I knew that my dad had a panic room but I never got to go inside…. And I always wanted to just peek inside. But now I have my own!”

“let me know when you plan to move in and I can have your room arranged for you” you said nonchalantly

Hoseok smiled and tilted his head to the side “I can pretty much move in whenever…but there’s one more thing that I’m curious about”

You gave him a look of awareness, letting him know that you were open to whatever he wanted to know. He scanned your face and bit his lip as if he was unsure of whether or not he should press on with his curiosity. But without a second thought he asked.

“I haven’t seen your room yet. Can I take a look?”

You gave him an apprehensive glare. It wasn’t that you were unwilling to share your personal space with him. After all, you were as good as married and if the two of you were going to spend a lot of time with each other and live in the same space there was no use in trying to hide it. But your room wasn’t in the best shape and you were embarrassed to show it to someone for the first time in the shape that it was in.

“uhh… right now isn’t really a good time-” you muttered

“what? Are your men waiting for you in your room or something?” he asked with a chuckle

You tilted your head “no. nothing like that.” You said and then let out a sigh. That chapter of your life was likely closed for a good while “it’s not exactly tidied up right now”

“well that’s even better!” Hoseok said with a megawatt smile. “I can see how you really are without all of the pretense. Plus, I’m sure your room is full of the things that you like so I can also get to know you a little bit better.”

You gave him a final look of uncertainty before you let out a deep breath “alright, let’s get the embarrassment over with then”

Hoseok chuckled and took the lead out of his future room. You couldn’t tell what he was more excited by at this point… his dream panic room or your messy bedroom. He waited by the front door for you and you slowly walked to the door directly across from his own. You gave him a small frown before you commented under your breath

“don’t say I didn’t warn you”

You opened the door and allowed for Hoseok to take the lead in.

“wow” was all that he said as he looked around

You mentally scolded yourself as you looked around with him, frowning at your pile of clothes at your bedside. The unfolded and unhung clean clothes that sat in a laundry bin. The half empty or completely empty water bottles that sat on your night stands. The shoes that were lying around scattered through your bedroom. The pillows from your unmade and wrinkled bed that sat on the floor.

You knew that it was a mess and honestly you were embarrassed that Hoseok was seeing this side of you. It was completely different from what you had presented everywhere else in the house. Everything that was a shared space was neat and tidy and you prided yourself in keeping things orderly. But when it came to your own personal space…you were a little more relaxed.

“it’s not that bad” Hoseok said with his hand on the back of his neck as if he was trying to physically hold back from cringing or laughing

You rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see you doing it and walked over to his side so you could take a good look at his face. and as he turned to face you he had a sympathetic and polite smile on his face. you smiled back to him and scoffed.

“you’re full of shit” you said jokingly

Hoseok laughed and cocked his eyebrow. “actually, I’m not. I’m quite messy myself”

“really?” you asked surprised

Hoseok turned away from you to exit your room and just faintly under his breath you could hear him whisper “you’ve got a lot to learn about me…Mrs. Shin”