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artificialqueens · 2 years ago

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In Sight of Your Blinding Light (Sasha Colby x Anetra) - Athena2

Summary: Anetra is a knight for hire, and Sasha is the healer she goes to when she needs help.

A/N: Hi everyone! I’ve been very into this pairing lately, and it’s helped me get out of a very long writing slump. I hope you enjoy this! Also, thank you times 10,000 to Juno, for letting me talk about this with you, for helping with the ending, and for betaing. You are so awesome!! Please leave feedback if you’d like, I really appreciate hearing your thoughts!!

Title from Would That I by Hozier

The knock at the door is gentle, but Sasha’s a light sleeper. She pulls on a robe and heads to the door, wondering what it’ll be tonight. These late night calls are nothing new, not since she officially opened the back room of her cottage to help people with her creams and bandages and kindness. Women clutching babies, who were fussy and crying from their sickness. Adults with their own illnesses, or people who’d gotten in fights or had accidents.

The woman on her doorstep is beautiful, with dark eyes and dark hair. There’s a thin scar above her left eye that fills Sasha with intrigue. When Sasha can tear her gaze away from the face, she sees the woman is wearing arm and leg guards and a slim chest plate, a sword hanging off her hip, a knight without the full bulky suit of armor. There’s a cut on her left arm, her sleeve stained red.

“Do you need help?” Sasha asks.

The woman nods. “Um, hi. I’m sorry it’s late. Are you Sasha?”

“The one and only.”

“I was told that you’re the best healer for miles. Would you be able to help?”

“Of course.” Sasha ushers the woman inside and into the back room. She sits the woman in a chair, which looks like a doll chair next to the woman’s muscled arms, the sharp edges of her armor at odds with the rounded furniture. “Do you like tea? I have black, green, herbal…”

The woman clears her throat. “Anything is fine.”

Sasha nods and gets the kettle going. She’s been giving tea to her clients for years. It started as something she did for the kids, handing them small mugs of fruit tea with lots of honey. Having something warm to hold and sip on would take their mind off their fears or injuries or sickness, and Sasha found the same was mostly true of adults. She gave them a steaming mug of whatever kind they wanted, or a kind she thought might be a good fit—and she was very rarely wrong in her guess. For the jumpy clients, it helped them calm down, and for the shyer, quieter clients—like she has a feeling this one is—it usually helped them feel comforted.

She sorts through her teas. The woman’s shoulders were a little tense, and her sword-hilt had a carved fox—the symbol of Greenwood, where lemon was abundant. Sasha adds lemon-ginger tea to one of her stone mugs, then watches steam curl around it.

She pulls a table to the woman’s right and places her mug there, then takes her own chair in front of the woman. “Is it okay if I lift your sleeve up?”

The woman nods, extending her arm to Sasha. She’s already removed her arm guard, and she sips her tea with her free hand. “This is really good,” she says.

Sasha grins. “Thank you.” She carefully rolls up the woman’s sleeve, exposing the short red slash across her arm. It looks like a sword wound, but Sasha doesn’t need to know. It’s an easy fix, and she never asks more than she needs to.

“It looks worse than it is,” Sasha says soothingly. “I’ll get it cleaned and bandage it, then you’re good to go.”

The woman nods. She’s still as Sasha cleans the blood, still in a way that makes Sasha think she’s used to pain. It hurts to think about, and Sasha works gently, like it can make up for the pain of the past.

“It’s all set,” Sasha says, tying the bandage in place.

“Thank you.” The woman gets to her feet, her strong form even more impressive in the tiny room. “How much do you charge?”

“I don’t.” Sasha’s never charged anyone. She has enough from her old life that she doesn’t need to. That life feels like centuries ago sometimes.

“Thank you. Um, good night.”

“Good night.”

Be careful, she thinks, because even if she’d like to see the woman again, she doesn’t want her to be hurt for it to happen.

—-

In a perfect world, Anetra would sail through each assignment she’s hired for without a scratch. But she gave up on believing in perfection years ago, and being a knight for hire brings far more cuts and bruises than she imagined. Still, if she can’t be a real knight, she’ll take the jobs she can get, use the training she learned from other street knights. An extra guard outside a local lord’s manor on a party night. A night to kick the ass of a man harassing a woman and her son. A fight with an enemy of some noble, to send a warning. She doesn’t talk, doesn’t ask questions. She becomes a sword, sharp and ready for whoever wants to wield her, and their gold softens the blows.

Tonight she’s going after a thief. A woman hired her to get back a necklace belonging to her grandmother. It was stolen last night, and Anetra spends most of the day in a tree with cramping legs, searching for someone matching the description. It’s hours later when she gets lucky, hopping down and pulling the man into an alley. She doesn’t expect a fight, and she doesn’t get one—just a shove into the ground that scrapes her hip.

At least the necklace is okay.

She straightens up and stretches to see the scrape on her hip. It’s oozing blood, but it’s not bad. Still, there are bits of gravel in there, and while Anetra could try to get it out herself, it’s better left to a professional.

She heads into the village, delivers the necklace, collects her gold, and knocks on Sasha’s door. Anetra didn’t think she’d be back so soon, but Sasha’s her best option. She didn’t ask questions, didn’t try to make her talk, didn’t look at her with pity. Not to mention Sasha’s the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen.

Sasha’s hazel eyes light up in recognition, and Anetra’s heart lifts too. “Do you need help?” Sasha asks.

“It’s just a scrape,” Anetra says sheepishly, cheeks hot over coming here for a scratch. “There might be gravel in it but I’m fine, really.”

“No, it’s good you came,” Sasha says, voice so warm that Anetra wonders why she considered leaving.

It’s only the second time, but it feels routine as she heads down the hall, trying not to think about what room is Sasha’s. Sasha leads her to the chair in the back, brews tea, and returns with a mug, tweezers, and a bowl.

The tea is raspberry this time, and Anetra sips happily, thinking of the summers with fingertips stained red from picking raspberries.

“Would you feel okay showing me?” Sasha’s calm, professional, and while Anetra’s not embarrassed, she’d be comforted if she was.

“Sure.” She pulls her shirt up, wincing when the wound hits the air.

Sasha sits on the floor, tweezers in hand. “This might hurt a little.”

“It’s fine.” Anetra’s had worse.

Sasha nods and gets to work. It doesn’t hurt bad, just an occasional piece that tears her skin. When those happen, Anetra curls her left hand into a fist where Sasha can’t see. Anetra looks down at her side, seeing the top of Sasha’s soft brown hair. Her head is down, but Anetra sees her biting her lip in concentration as she works, and it’s hard to look away. She’s so close to her. If she reached down, she could feel if her hair is as soft as it looks—

“I’m Anetra, by the way. I never told you,” Anetra says, partly to fill the silence and partly to stop her own staring.

“That’s a pretty name,” Sasha says, and Anetra wonders when it got so hot in here. She stays still for the rest, turning the words over in her mind.

Sasha straightens up and brushes the hair off her face. “It’s all set. Not too bad, right?”

“Nope. Thank you.” She’s still too warm, and she quickly makes an exit, then spends most of the night wishing she had stayed longer.

—-

“I’m starting to think you’re doing this on purpose,” Sasha teases, when Anetra shows up for the third time in two weeks, painted with blood from nose to chin.

Anetra flashes a rare smile that Sasha treasures. “I swear I’m not.” Anetra sighs, dropping into the chair. She looks more at home in it now. “I really thought I’d get through this one without a scratch. But this cat came out of nowhere and distracted me, and I got punched.”

“Was it a cute cat?” Sasha asks. “I like the fluffy ones.” It’s a lighter side of herself, one she never really shows around clients, who expected her calm, professional persona. But something about Anetra is different, like Sasha doesn’t always have to be perfect around her.

“I didn’t notice. It looked fluffy, though.” Anetra smiles again. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m good at my job. I swear.”

“I believe you,” Sasha says, and she does. She doesn’t know what exactly Anetra does—she’s guessing some kind of fighter—but she knows she’s good at it, and she knows she cares about it, because she hangs in there no matter how many times she’s been hit.

“Um, how—how are you?” Anetra asks, while Sasha gently wipes the blood off her face. “I never ask. I just show up and bleed on your furniture.”

Sasha smiles to herself. Anetra’s more talkative now, like she’s grown used to Sasha, knows she’s safe with her. She’s a bit like Camden, Sasha’s neighbor. Quiet at first, but talkative once she knew you. A lake that was freezing at first dip, but quickly warmed around you.

“This furniture’s seen worse, believe me.” Sasha pauses, because none of her clients ever ask about her. “And I’m good. It’s been a slow day, I was mostly out in the garden.” She was never allowed to tend the huge garden in her old life, and the first thing she did when she got this cottage was spend a day outside, sweaty and smeared with dirt, planting seeds. The seeds of her new life.

“Did you plant it yourself?” Anetra asks, eyes on the window, where stalks of tomatoes flutter in the wind.

“I did.”

“Impressive,” Anetra says. “If I knew how to whistle, I would.”

“I can’t whistle either,” Sasha admits.

They laugh together, and Sasha leans in now that the blood is gone, gently feeling along her nose. She’s close enough to see flecks of gold in Anetra’s brown eyes, and the sight is so stunning she has to remind herself what she’s doing. “Luckily it’s not broken.”

“That’s—that’s good, then.” Anetra sounds dazed, like she also forgot what was going on. It’s a sound, and a look, she gets a lot around Sasha. “I’ll try not to be back so soon,” she teases.

“I’ll be here,” Sasha promises.

—-

Two weeks later things are going great, with a string of assignments that go well. Anetra’s body is grateful, but there’s a dull pain somewhere anyway, and it might be from missing Sasha.

Until the night she stops some poison supplier, one who signals to a friend behind Anetra, and there’s an arrow in her shoulder, just above her armor, before she can even turn around.

“Fuck.” She stares at it sticking out of her in disbelief, like she’s in a daze. It doesn’t look real. More like a toy arrow, sticking out of a shoulder that’s not real either. Even the trickles of blood seem too red to be hers.

She’s not supposed to take it out herself, she knows that much. Her training might not be from a royal guard, but others gave her tips on treating injuries to hold herself together until she can get actual help, and this was one of the first.

She swears again and gets moving.

“Ever removed an arrow?” Anetra asks Sasha by way of greeting. She’s gritting her teeth, breathing labored, but there’s relief beneath it all, because she knows she’ll be okay now.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Sasha pinches the bridge of her nose and swears under her breath. “Come in.”

Anetra eases into the chair while Sasha gets ready. She’s really focused today; there’s no tea, but she gives Anetra something else to drink, for the pain. She slowly removes Anetra’s armor, so she can be more comfortable. She gets bandages and cream, then comes back with scissors Anetra can’t help but pale at.

“Okay,” Sasha begins, calm as ever, despite what’s happening, “I’ll cut down the arrow first.”

Anetra sits as still as a statue while Sasha trims the arrow, trying to keep her breaths slow.

“You’re doing great,” Sasha says, and Anetra burns at the praise.

Sasha turns to the front. She braces her left arm across Anetra’s chest, holding her steady. Her heart is pounding so hard she has no doubt Sasha can feel it. She doesn’t know if it’s from the anticipation, or having Sasha so close. “I’ll pull it out on three.”

“No, wait,” Anetra says, hating the quiver in her voice. “Do it on a random number. A friend of mine said it’s better that way. That the anticipation of waiting for three makes it worse, or something.”

“Smart idea.” Sasha grins. “Okay. Seven. Twelve. Ninety-three. Five.”

On five, Sasha tugs the arrow out. It’s like being shot but in reverse, like part of her chest is being pulled out from the inside, and Anetra shudders out a gasping curse, curling in on herself and wincing as she pants for breath.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Sasha’s voice breaks through the cloud of pain. She hands Anetra a bowl in case she needs it, stroking the sweaty hair off her face. The touch is soft and cool, bringing her back to the world. “It’s out. Still with me?”

Anetra nods. Whatever Sasha gave her is kicking in. It’s not knock-out strong like the whiskey people in town swear by, but it dulls the worst. Her eyes slide closed while Sasha takes care of the rest, her light touches grounding Anetra.

“I’m done,” Sasha says softly. “I had to stitch the entry and exit wounds. I can take them out in a few days, just try to take it easy until then.”

Anetra nods.

“It’s almost three. Do you want to stay here until the morning?”

The words shock Anetra, sending her eyes flying open. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you up all night.”

“Don’t worry about it. So, do you want to stay?”

It’s a nice idea, and she wants to say yes so badly. Wants to watch the moon fade and the sun emerge, watch it light up Sasha’s face. But Anetra’s alert now, and the worries are springing up like enemies in the field. “But if I’m here long, what if that puts you in danger? That guy could have followed me here, I didn’t even think—” She won’t let anything happen to Sasha. Anetra’s hired to fight some people and protect others—it’s usually both at the same time, two sides of the same coin. A sword and shield in one, for whoever hires her. For Sasha, she would be both.

“I don’t think that’ll happen,” Sasha says, steadying the hand Anetra didn’t realize was shaking. “And if anyone comes here, I’m not worried. You’re here, and I’m tougher than I look. Just because I help people doesn’t mean I can’t fight.” Sasha’s expression is solemn, and Anetra realizes how true it is. Sasha is kind and caring, a shield for the people who need her. But it doesn’t mean she can’t fight, that she can’t be a sharp sword too. Just like Anetra.

“Okay,” Anetra agrees. She lets Sasha lead her into the kitchen, trying not to wonder why she would be so nice to her. Why she cares this much, when the people who hired Anetra never blinked at her injuries.

Sasha comes over with two mugs and a kettle.

“Let me.” Anetra grabs the kettle with her good arm. Sasha’s probably poured hundreds of cups of tea for people. Anetra’s betting it’s a long time since someone poured her one.

“My own personal knight.” Sasha smiles as she takes a seat across from her.

“Not a real one, anyway,” Anetra mutters.

Sasha frowns. “Do you want to tell me?”

Anetra sighs and sips her tea. Chamomile, with honey, she’s pretty sure. “Not much to tell. I’m not a noble, so I can’t get on the royal guard. I figured I’d help whoever I can around here. I’m a knight for hire, I guess.”

All she wanted was that life of gleaming armor, the weight of a sword at her hip, the tales of glory. But the Queen wouldn’t consider knighting someone without a title attached to their name. So Anetra made her own title. If no one would give her armor for protection, she’d protect herself. If no one would put the sword in her hand, she’d sharpen herself into one.

Sasha nods. “I’m sorry. If it helps, being a noble isn’t that great.”

The revelation doesn’t surprise Anetra, because as much as Sasha fits here, there was something different about her, something Anetra couldn’t figure out. Now it seems obvious. It’s in Sasha’s poise, the way she carries herself. Of course she was made for a life of gowns and balls and polite society.

“No?” Anetra asks finally.

“No. There’s a lot of rules and expectations. You have to act a certain way, look a certain way, all the time.” She sighs. “I couldn’t live that life anymore. So I left. Went to a few different places, learned a few different things, before I found somewhere I wanted to stay, where I could make my own life as a healer.”

Anetra pictures Sasha alone, with no one to take care of her the way she took care of everyone, running from the life she knew to create one she wanted. She saw it earlier, and she sees it again now: Sasha’s more of a fighter than Anetra gave her credit for.

“I’m glad you’re happy now.” Anetra smiles. Sasha draws them out of her easier than anyone, and she flashes several more as they talk, about Anetra’s best fights and Sasha’s time traveling. Anetra has never talked this much, but Sasha savors every word. The hours pass until the sun rises, and Sasha turns to gold before Anetra’s eyes.

—-

Anetra gets her stitches removed, and Sasha jokes that she barely recognizes her not covered in blood. She brings Sasha sunflowers, since she mentioned the garden was too small to grow them, and the flowers turn to Sasha rather than the sun.

She takes it easy for a week, just simple jobs. She doesn’t want to ruin the hard work Sasha did putting her back together. When she feels good again, she takes one a bit harder. The owner of a tavern has been cheating customers out of money, and she’s been hired to rough him up as a warning to return it. It’s a quick job, and she hardly gets bruised.

She’s heading out of the woods when she hears footsteps.

She instantly unsheathes her sword, heart picking up as she spins around to find the noise. One man emerges from the trees. A second follows, and then two more. They all have a tattoo on their arm, she notices. An eye. It matches the one on the man she’d beat up not long ago, the enemy of a local noble. Apparently he has friends.

They circle her, and her heart sinks. She’s taken on two at once, has scraped by against three. Four is just too many.

But she’s not going easily.

They don’t have swords or shields. This is bare fists. Personal.

She tosses her sword aside. She can get by without a weapon, has won plenty of fights with just her hands. She’s her own weapon—one that’s outnumbered, but still sharp.

She dodges punches and hurls her own, the world a mess of fists and grunts and blood. She breaks one’s nose with a kick, narrowing it to three against one. But then one pulls out a knife, and the trouble really begins.

It’s not about winning anymore. It never was, against four opponents. It’s about making them work for it–taking as many hits as she can, and giving as many back. Sweat runs into her eyes, her breaths more strained, the number of hits raining on her skin growing. The knife sinks into her side just as one kicks her leg so hard it gives out. She crashes to the ground, awash in the bitter smell of blood. There’s one last kick in her bleeding side, and then they leave, satisfied that they’ve paid her back.

She doesn’t know how long she stays there, the sweet grass smell poking through the cloud of blood and sweat making her face stiff. She rolls over and stares at the black sky, can’t tell the difference between the sky and just closing her eyes.

She needs help, and there’s only one place she can go. She hauls herself up with a groan, using her sword to support her weight. Her vision spins, throwing the world sideways. She keeps her eyes on her feet, stumbling over the cobblestones.

Just a few more steps…

She falls into the door, unable to lift her arm and knock. Her eyes flutter shut as she waits, hope slipping away like the blood pouring through her fingers.

The door opens, and then she collapses, choking out the only name her mind knows, the name her body brought her to. “Sasha.”

—-

Anetra slowly blinks awake, taking in the unfamiliar ceiling, unfamiliar bed, unfamiliar white shirt she’s wearing. There are bandages on her forehead, her arms, around her knuckles, a thick one around her side. Bruises paint her arms blue and purple. She feels like one giant bruise, really, sore and stiff all over. But she’s in one piece. Fragments flood Anetra’s mind, hazy and blurred like steam. She remembers the woods, the fight, then Sasha’s door—

To her right is a chair, and in that chair, sleeping softly, is Sasha. Her legs are tucked underneath her and her cheek rests on her hand. She’s softer and more vulnerable than Anetra’s seen her, and she feels like she’s intruding on something she’s not supposed to see. She wants to wrap her arms around Sasha and hold her close, keep her safe. And in this moment, it hits her harder than a punch, because she knows she loves Sasha. Knows it like she knows her own sword. They could have a life in this cottage, and she could help Sasha in the garden even though she’s never planted anything. They could plant new seeds, share quiet nights together, take care of each other.

Anetra sighs, because it will never work. Sasha comes from nobility, and Anetra’s just some street knight. The seed will never grow.

Sasha startles awake, adjusting her position and rubbing her eyes. “Sorry, I—I didn’t mean to fall asleep. How are you feeling?”

“Were you here all night?” Anetra asks with a pang in her chest.

Sasha nods. “I wanted to keep an eye on you. You…you were in bad shape.” It must have been bad, if that’s what Sasha is telling her. Sasha’s voice is oddly small, and her eyes are red, now that she’s closer. It could be from exhaustion, but Sasha’s never looked like this even when Anetra knew she was tired. She’s never disheveled or stressed like this. When someone showed up at her door, she always knew what to do, weaving help out of bandages and tea and gentle words.

It really scared her, Anetra realizes. Anetra really scared her, showing up here covered in blood and collapsing at her door. Red still clings to Sasha’s nails, blood she couldn’t scrub off or forgot about in her worry. Worry Anetra caused her.

It’s too much. It’s one thing to have Sasha bandage a cut. But for Sasha to stay awake all night to make sure she was okay, for Anetra to scare her and cause her so much worry, is too much. Too much to leave a trail of blood here and put in her potential danger. Too much to ask of her. Too much care for Sasha to give.

And it’s more than Sasha caring about her. She cares about Sasha. She cares too much, is too attached, and she hasn’t been attached to anyone in a while. If those men found her to get payback, there’s no saying someone couldn’t find Sasha one day, hurt her as revenge. Even if that didn’t happen, how could she ask someone as amazing as Sasha to love her, with her sword-sharp edges?

She needs to leave and it needs to be now. Tearing an arrow out without waiting for the number three. Taking the pain without dragging out the anticipation.

“I have to go.” Anetra swears as she gets to her feet, stumbling forward like a newborn giraffe. She holds her side, wincing at the touch.

“But you—”

“I’m sorry, I have to.” Anetra sighs, knowing she’ll never have the right words. “Thank you for helping me. Get some sleep. Please, okay?”

“Anetra, wait—”

But she leaves before Sasha can say anything else, and the blood staining the doorstep is just another ugly reminder that Anetra did the right thing.

—–

Anetra passes the days staring at her own ceiling. She’s still in the white shirt Sasha gave her, and it smells like Sasha. Like honey and earth and something that’s just her. Anetra keeps it on, because she’s no stranger to pain.

She did the right thing, didn’t she? Leaving to stop potential pain? Yet pain is all Anetra feels now, and it’s more than just her healing injuries. Maybe it was wrong to walk away from Sasha. To think Sasha couldn’t love her with the same care and love she put into patching Anetra up. Or maybe the patching up is the problem. Because maybe there would come a time when Sasha couldn’t put her back together.

After a week of this, there’s a knock on her door.

“Hello?” Anetra’s voice is gruffer than normal, hasn’t been used all week.

The redhead standing there doesn’t seem to mind. “I’m a friend of Sasha’s. She asked me to bring you this.” She holds out a bag, and Anetra realizes it’s her armor and sword, which she’d left behind in her haste. Of course Sasha wanted her to have it back.

Anetra swallows the lump in her throat. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” The redhead bites her lip. “I know it’s not my business, but you should talk to her. I’ve never seen her this upset.”

Anetra retreats to the bed again, running her fingers over the shirt until she falls asleep.

—-

Anetra survived four men at once, but nothing has been harder than knocking on Sasha’s door now.

After a few more days replaying their last interaction, thinking about what Sasha’s neighbor said, she finally forced herself out of bed. Anetra thought she could leave and spare Sasha from the pain, that she could shoulder it for the both of them. But leaving was what hurt Sasha in the first place, the last thing Anetra ever wanted to do to her. She needed to make it right.

Sasha answers, and Anetra doesn’t miss that quick smile dart across her face. She leads Anetra to the kitchen table, and the silence between them is heavy enough to crush a building.

“I know you’re not a big talker,” Sasha finally begins. “But if you want to, I’ll listen.”

“I…I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, let me say I’m glad you’re okay, at least,” Sasha says, and it fills Anetra with hope. “Leaving like that…do you know how dangerous that was? How worried I was?” She isn’t yelling. Anetra doesn’t think she has it in her to yell. Honestly, she’d prefer yelling to the hurt and worry in Sasha’s voice.

“I know. I’m sorry I did that.” Anetra takes a breath, because she needs to tell the truth. She owes Sasha that much. “I left because…because I was scared. I realized how much I cared for you. How much I’ve asked you to care for me. It was too much, and I thought it was safer to leave. Then I wouldn’t put you through that stress or hurt you anymore.”

Sasha’s quiet, her eyes intent, taking it in. “But what if I want to care for you?”

Anetra ignores the warmth in her chest, drawing her internal armor tighter. “I told you, it’s dangerous. Someone could follow me to you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“And I told you,” Sasha says firmly, “I’m tougher than I look. I can handle that. You won’t scare me off. And I know you wouldn’t let anything hurt me.”

She’s right, and Anetra knows it. Anetra will always protect her, but Sasha can handle the scary parts of Anetra’s life, and she can handle herself. Just because her strength and determination are wrapped in kindness doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

“There’s something else,” Sasha says. It’s not a question, because of course she knows.

Anetra nods, and she finally peels her armor away, showing Sasha what’s underneath. “I’m not good enough for you,” she breathes, blinking away tears, the confession an arrow through the chest.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…you’re from a noble family. You’re smart and kind and beautiful. You’ve probably always expected someone better—you deserve someone better.”

Anetra looks down, sure Sasha will agree. But when she looks up, Sasha is at her side.

“It’s not about what I deserve, it’s about what I want,” Sasha says seriously, her thumb brushing away Anetra’s tears. “Anetra, I love you. I can be myself around you. Everyone sees me as some perfect hero who always knows how to help, but you see me for me. You’re the first person who ever asked about me. You’re the first person I’ve ever talked about my past with.”

“I am?”

“Yes. That old me, that old life, is gone. I don’t want some noble. I want someone I love, someone I can be me with. That’s you.”

Anetra nods shakily.

“And who says you’re not good enough?” Sasha continues. “You’re the strongest, bravest person I know. You’re kind, and you do the right thing and protect people even when it’s hard.”

The words slam into Anetra, filling her with relief and a lightness she didn’t know she could have. She’s enough. She never realized how much she needed to hear it, how every swing of her sword was an attempt to do more, do enough, prove that she was worthy of being a knight, even if she couldn’t have the title.

“Thank you,” Anetra says finally, taking in the warmth of Sasha’s eyes. In trying to protect them from the hurt, she had taken away a chance at joy. That joy is rising in both of them, and she won’t lose it. “I’m sorry, again, for trying to leave. I–-I really care about you, and I’d like to be with you.”

Sasha smiles. “I’d love that.”

“Um, so how…how do we do this?” Anetra asks, rubbing her neck. She’s gone for drinks at a pub with people on what she guesses was a date, but never became much. She doesn’t know what a real one looks like, and she doesn’t want to mess things up like she almost did already.

It’s probably a stupid question, but Sasha doesn’t miss a beat. “Well,” Sasha begins, smiling faintly, “did you know you can knock on my door when you’re not gushing blood? You can come over anytime. We can eat, go for a walk, talk in the garden…whatever you want.”

Anetra nods. It seems so simple when she puts it that way. Anetra didn’t need to come up with something elaborate—Sasha just wants to be with her, like Anetra wants to be with Sasha.

“Give me one minute.”

Anetra gets up and runs outside, spinning around on the doorstep and knocking on the door. Sasha opens it a few seconds later, a wide smile on her face.

“Can we start this over, and I’ll take you for a walk?” Anetra asks.

“That would be lovely.”

Anetra holds out her hand, and when Sasha takes it, Anetra presses a kiss to the back of Sasha’s hand. Sasha smiles ever wider, lacing their fingers together as they step outside.

#rpdr fanfiction #sasha colby #anetra #anetra x sasha #s15 #lesbian au #knight au #athena2 #tw blood/injury #concrit welcome

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matt-imagines-popcorn · 2 years ago

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And heres the second part of the request!

Warnings; Unhealthy relationship, tiny bit suggestive (brief mention of painplay? I couldn’t help myself),

Being in a relationship with Jedah Dohma [Male! Reader]

Jedah is very determined in creating a perfect utopia - he has no time to even play with the thought of being involved with someone romantically unless it specifically benefited him and his cause. Not to mention, how risky it is, especially if his boyfriend is human. He refuses to risk the possible future of Makai. However, that doesn’t mean he can’t fool around for a bit.

The relationship most likely started off with a power imbalance (and let’s be honest, still is) if you are human. He seemingly knows every little bit about you already, no need to look within your own belongings, and can sense when you’re tense or fearful, feeding off of the feeling. He mostly keeps you around for his own enjoyment (and perhaps company but he’ll never admit that out loud.) He’s not entirely a prick though and will sometimes ask about your opinions on certain topics, trying to build a bond with you.

If you aren’t human, however, then I imagine the relationship starts off a bit differently. Perhaps the two of you have similar goals and work together in a partnership - a business partnership. He treats you with more respect but also is more private I fear - most likely to protect himself if you were foolish to betray him and break the alliance.

Jedah denied his true feelings to himself and you, almost succeeding in convincing you that all he cared about was Makai - until you got hurt. Of course, your connection with the High noble was going to end up with you injured sooner or later - how badly depends on if you’re human or not. Your injuries could be as small as a couple of bruises, perhaps some bleeding or being god damn hospitalize nearly grazing upon death’s door. Either way, Jedah surprised you, waiting by your side for you to heal. During the waiting period, both of you realize that Jedah has grown deeply in love with you.

After that instantiate, if you are more observant, will notice small signs that he grew fond of you. Being a bit more protective over you (usually not falling too far behind you during your outings) and more handsy with you. He had grown the habit when your relaxing to check your pulse and mentally checking you over (counting your ribs, and your vertebrae, taking note of any scarring upon your body.)

If you aren’t terribly observant (or outright ignore his subtle signs,) he starts to become more open about his feelings, whether he means to do so or not, and *gasp* actually acts like a boyfriend! Being more affectionate, with both his actions and his words (Within the privacy of his own home of course), keeping you company and listening to your rambles, gifting you outfits. The latter of the three is one he peculiarly enjoys. He adores seeing his boyfriend in more revealing outfits.

Anyone that threatens you is gone before they take even another breath. Anyone that dares even suggests endangering his angel (heh get it) is a bloody puddle. Even if he knows you can most likely handle yourself in that sort of situation, he would rather not see you come to him all bruised up and bloodied.

Jedah does find amusement in pain, especially if it was caused by him. He enjoys taking the lead and -more often than not- likes to incorporate pain into the bedroom. He goes all out too, not afraid to draw some blood (as he knows he’ll be able to care for you afterward). As long as you don’t say the safeword - he's going to have fun with you.

He becomes overprotective as hell - especially if his boyfriend is human. They're so squishy and so dangerously so easy to harm and kill. He insists on coming with you if you must leave the comfort of your home, his glare enough to send any foolish human away with tails between their legs.

He prefers slow but elegant dates - which is probably less likely to happen. Most dates take place within the comfort of his home or close to it, much to his dislike. It is just to make sure if anything were to happen to you, he’ll be able to get you to safety quickly without having to scramble around.

Sorry for the long one! This is the first time i’m writing for Jedah (and Darkstalkers in general lol) so right now i’m just fucking around with the character and figuring out what sticks tone wise. Might come back and rewrite this later

#Darkstalkers #X Reader #Imagine #Jedah Dohma #Darkstalkers X Reader #Jedah Dohma x Reader

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ocularmacdown · 1 year ago

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

TYSM @sewerkingcharlie FOR THE TAG !!! i love doing things like this teehee

are you named after anyone?

my legal name is the same as a film/musical character (my parents maintain that wasn’t the entire reason). currently irl i go by just the first letter of that name, but the name i WANT also happens to be a film character (coincidental, but i was happy when i realised)

zoot is the muppet’s band’s saxophonist and i chose him over gonzo (who is technically my fave muppet, beloved thing <3) cuz i also play the sax.

do you have any kids?

nope! and i don’t want any - ofc i can’t predict how future me will feel, but i’ve genuinely never felt/understood the desire to have a child (have felt exactly one paternal pang). still love kids, just not for me!

do you use sarcasm a lot?

i have no idea what’s “a lot”? i enjoy jokes and bits (particularly with my sibling) that usually entail sarcasm, so technically yes, but in a silly/exaggerated way.

first thing you notice about people?

i think i’d say what they’re wearing, cuz personal style can be so cool and varied. general vibe/personality is a close second tho (and ofc first if i’m not physically seeing the person). neurodivergent brain sometimes picks up on vibes TOO much tho-

what’s your eye colour?

like. green? not bright green tho.

scary movies or happy endings?

i’m not really a scary movie watcher*, so happy endings!! small rant, but i’ve noticed people often view happy endings as less inspired than sad/shocking ones, which just is NOT true and really frustrates me. a happy ending can be just as if not more thought provoking and empathetic and realistic !! pls love joy in media more !!

*i have seen all of one horror movie BUT i am a huge fan of uk tv series inside no. 9. it’s so SO good and the only real “scary content” i’ve ever been passionate about.

special talents?

if i lie on my stomach, i can bend my back and legs up and forwards far enough to touch the tip of my nose with my toes :D

what are your hobbies?

drawing and crocheting are the biggest i guess, but i sometimes bake or sew (tho that’s mostly diy-ing rather than big projects). i rly love making bottle cap badges and i used to paint patches too, if that counts. consuming media at a rate of knots is my full time passion /hj.

have any pets?

YES. YES I DO. I COULD GO INTO GREAT DETAIL. IF YOU WANT ME TOO. JUST DM. I WILL SEND YOU AN ESSAY. tldr is i have three cats currently. MY cat, effectively, is a tiny girl cat called (lady) cleo and i adore her <3

what sports to you play/have you played?

as a kid, i swam for several years and was goalkeeper for my school’s girl’s football team for a bit (i was tiny…the uniform and gloves were massive…,), and i always ALWAYS did loads on sports day. did netball in secondary but quit cuz i hated it (the other girls were real assholes) and also badminton after school club (my friend and i just did rallies non competitively, it was great).

i think sport gave me gender euphoria when i was a kid, but as a teen it did the opposite. i’d love to start swimming again in the future and i wanna take up boxing (got some rage to get out my system teehee). i TRY to go to the gym weekly.

how tall are you?

5’4…my mum’s short genes messed up my dad’s average/tall genes :|

favourite subject in school?

DRAMA. always. in primary i loved creative writing, and for the most of secondary i really enjoyed maths. i ADORED geography in secondary (about out 2 my geog teacher….i miss u sir…), but it was too much for me at alevel. i really enjoyed film studies alevel tho!!but yeah. drama forever <3

dream job?

i guess acting ?? but also not ?? i have a very unsteady grasp on what i want my future to look like, and job is not the focus of my plans. i’d love love love to act professionally, but i’d also be just as content with working in cafes forever (what i do currently) and being silly and trans and making art on the internet. i really don’t know. but that’s okay <3

i uhhh don’t have 15 mutuals yet 🧍‍♂️ i will just tag all of y’all tho - u don’t have to participate ofc !!! and i think everyone should do this that wants too !!!

@boodlesofdoodles @beesallhail @cloveclump @cactusfool @certifiedeccentric @angelic-charlie-kelly @emodennis @a-nice-egg-offering

#this was so fun !!#teehee i love sharing titbits of info #so confused about how it’s only 13 questions tho….why are we lying….#tag game #zoot.posts

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purple-babygirl · 3 years ago

Note

Oh oh what about Bucky's little staying over at Steve's for the weekend cause Bucky is busy. She's being a brat but whenever Steve calls Bucky to show him she's a Angel. So Bucky sneaks by unexpected & sees her being a brat

Word Count: 2,901 (i tried to cut it short, i tried, but i'm hopeless when it comes to soft stuff)

Warnings: ddlg dynamics, and angst i think? the rest is fluff

A/N: Nonnie, thank you so much for sending this and sharing your idea with me. i hope i didn't take too long and i hope i didn't disappoint?:" please enjoy xx.

Alternative ending

bratty angel

“Give her the phone, would you? I missed her,” Bucky requested, desperate to hear the little one's voice.

“Quick question while I still have you though,” Steve scratched the back of his head, not sure if he should tell Bucky.

“Yeah?”

“What do you usually do with her if she's being a little.. troublesome?” Steve didn't want to get her punished; he just wanted a way to deal with her behavior.

Steve obviously knew he could punish her the small punishments, like no screen time for a day or a timeout, but he didn't want to. She already seemed to dislike him enough, he wasn't about to make it worse. He didn't want to punish her but he also couldn't take all the brattiness and backtalk.

He was a kind uncle and he actually enjoyed being around her. But her behavior has been driving him crazy this time and it needed to stop. He knew she didn't want Bucky to leave this time and was most likely punishing Steve for telling him he could take care of her while he was gone. She probably thought Bucky would've stayed if there was no one to tend to her during his absence, and she had Steve to blame for it.

“Being what? What did she do?” Bucky's angry voice asked from the other side of the phone, and Steve could picture him narrowing his eyes.

“It's nothing major, Buck-”

“What did she do, Steve?”

“Well, uh, for starters she says no to almost everything even if she's eventually gonna do it anyway. She knocks stuff over when I don't do what she wants and pretends it was an accident,” Steve stopped and sighed, “she's giving me a hard time and it all goes away when you call!” Steve almost whined.

He sighed again when Bucky went silent, knowing she'd really get it now but she didn't exactly leave him much of a choice.

“I'm gonna handle it. I'm sorry, Steve,” Bucky said, sounding pissed.

“Hey, it's all good. Hold on, I'll give her the phone.”

“Yeah, please do.” Bucky wasn't as excited to talk to her anymore.

He could hear Steve softly calling out for her to come talk to Daddy and her feet hitting the wooden floor as she came to the phone. What he didn't hear though was a thank you to Steve.

“Dada!” Her happy voice spoke and Bucky couldn't help but smile a little.

“Hey, doll! How've you been?”

“Been good, dada. Missed you,” she sighed, pouting.

“I missed you too, baby. Are you behaving for Uncle Steve?”

“Yes, daddy,” she lied all too quickly and Bucky clenched his jaw.

“Good girl.”

“Sweetheart, please get in your skirt,” Steve sighed again, holding the item of clothing low for her to step into.

“No.” Her naked leg kicked the mini skirt from Steve's hands before she crossed her legs and leaned on her bed.

“Don't make this hard now!” Steve rubbed his face in frustration.

“I'll do what I want. You're not my daddy,” she said stubbornly before snatching the skirt off the floor and slipping it up her legs to her waist. If she looked messy, she didn't care.

When she turned around to leave the unorganized room, Bucky was standing there with the biggest scowl on his face. Her heart stopped and her world froze. How come they didn't know he was arriving today? How come they didn't hear him come in?

“Dada,” she whispered in mixed fear and shame, making Steve look up, a look of utter relief washing over him when he saw his best friend.

Everything was about to get better now that Bucky was here, including her temper.

“Is that what I taught you, little one?” Bucky's tone dripped of disappointment.

“Dada.” Tears quickly came to her eyes as she saw the letdown look in Bucky's.

“And here I was thinking you were my good girl, returning home early to see you.” Bucky shook his head at her.

“Dada, I am your good girl. I am,” she begged, walking closer to him, but Bucky didn't reciprocate.

“Dada, I missed you.” She went to hug Bucky but he stepped away. She tried to hold his hand and he slipped his fingers out of her grab.

“You don't get to welcome daddy home after you've disrespected Uncle Steve like that, little girl,” Bucky told her, his frown not disappearing, only deepening.

“Dada, I'm sorry.” Her lower lip trembled.

She’s missed Bucky so much. She was touch-starved because she hadn't given Steve a chance to come anywhere near her all weekend. She refused to let him hug her, kiss her, or carry her. She was distant and bratty and rude. She needed Bucky's warm touch but he was far too mad at her.

“I'm not the one you should be apologizing to.” Bucky crossed his arms, looking at Steve behind her.

“Uncle Steve, I'm s-sorry,” she mumbled quickly, without even looking at the blond man, moving to hug Bucky again but he still wouldn't let her.

“Dada,” she called, tears leaving her eyes.

“You have to mean it, little one.”

“Daddy, I mean it,” she whined. It frustrated her little heart that Bucky kept calling her little one. He only did that when he was mad at her; too angry to use a pet name.

“Enough lying already!” Bucky raised his voice and she flinched.

“I'm not going to talk to you or touch you until you've made it up to Uncle Steve. Until then I'm gonna pretend I haven't come home and saw what I just saw.” Bucky left her room, walking over to his and slamming the door behind him.

He didn't normally choose to be hard on her; she was his baby doll, but what she did with Steve was just unacceptable. Bucky couldn't let her get away with disrespecting anyone, especially Steve, not after witnessing it all himself.

He'd thought it over on his way home. If he spanked her or took her favourite things away, she'd dislike Steve even more, if not hate him. Bucky couldn't give her more things to blame Steve for or more reasons to refuse him.

“Sweetheart,” Steve called, feeling bad after Bucky left and she stood by the door frame and started crying.

He didn't really want Bucky to punish her; he just wanted to know how to deal with her bratty behavior. He just wanted a way to communicate better. Steve never intended on making her cry. Bucky surprised him with that punishment.

“'S all because of you. I hate you!” She cried harder, throwing herself on her bed to hide her face in the mattress as she sobbed.

Her words broke Steve's heart to tiny pieces and he felt even worse now that Bucky was here. His mouth opened but no words came to him so he closed it again. He gathered her clothes from the floor and hung them back in her closet before leaving her to cry it out, giving her some time.

“I'm so sorry, Steve.” Bucky shook his head, embarrassed by her behavior towards his best friend.

“Hey, it's alright. I know she's a good girl; she just missed you.”

“You know I missed her too but she can't just get away with such stuff,” Bucky sighed, taking another sip from his beer.

“I know.”

“Dada.” She entered the room after a good crying session, rubbing her puffy eyes.

True to his previous words, Bucky didn't answer her, swallowing the lump in his throat with his beer. He couldn't give in.

“What is it, sweetheart?” Steve responded instead, not wanting to leave her hanging, which made her pout in annoyance.

Like him and Bucky had agreed, if she wanted anything she'd have to go to Uncle Steve for it and relearn to use her manners.

“Dada,” she called again and got the same reaction. Bucky pretended he wasn't there.

Tears gathered in her eyes again and she hid her face in her hands and began crying. The sound shook Bucky's heart and he almost broke and forgave her.

“Hey, hey, no, it's alright,” Steve cooed, immediately coming to her side.

He hated this. Once he got her to stop crying he was going to talk to Bucky about calling it off. He didn't care if she was bratty or bad-mannered, he just wanted her happy again.

Steve led her back to her room and sat down on the bed beside her.

“Daddy's never gonna speak to me again!” She sobbed and Steve's heart ached for her.

“Sweetheart, please don't cry.” He gently patted her back.

“Can't you just tell him I said sorry and I mean it?” A pair of teary eyes implored Steve's blue ones.

“I will, but no more tears, okay?” Steve quickly agreed, wanting her to calm down.

“You will?” She wiped at her cheeks and Steve nodded with half a smile, his thumb catching her new tears.

“You'd lie to daddy for me?” Her red eyes widened.

“I'd do lots of stuff for you.” Steve chuckled.

“Like what?” She mumbled, sniffing and wiping her nose before Steve grabbed her a tissue off the bedside table.

“Like let you pour your milk on me and pretend it was an accident.” Steve smiled fondly, dabbing the tissue on her wet cheeks and under her nose.

In that moment as she looked up at the man with tear-filled eyes, her little mind seemed to recall all the ways she'd tortured him all week. She'd disobeyed nearly everything he'd told her and he still didn't hurt her or even raise his voice at her. She'd 'accidently' dumped all the salt in the salt shaker on his dinner. She'd dropped his phone on the kitchen counter multiple times after talking to Bucky, adding to the cracks on its screen. She'd wet him and got soap in his eyes during shower time. She'd constantly knocked stuff out of his hands whenever he held them out for her. She's been a real demon. If it was Bucky he would've punished her in every way in the book. But Steve didn't. He didn't make her pay for any of it and he was ready to lie to Bucky to save her bratty, ungrateful ass from having to endure his silent treatment.

“And then you leave?” She wondered.

She saw Steve's face fall at her question. She really did hate him, didn't she?

“And then I leave.” He still nodded with a kind smile.

“But could you not though?” She whispered, playing with the ends of her mini skirt.

“What?” Steve looked at her in surprise; he must've heard her wrong.

“Don't leave,” she told him, clearer this time, awkwardly extending her hand to touch his.

“Sweetheart-”

“I'm sorry, Uncle Steve,” she started tearing up again in regret, “I didn't mean to be so bad.” She shook her head and cried.

“Aw, sweetheart, it's okay.” Steve hugged her to his side, smoothing a hand on her head.

That was all he needed to hear.

“You know I like you, right?” She asked, sniffing in his shirt and Steve chuckled.

“Yeah?” He asked cheekily and she nodded, silently crying.

“Yeah, you make the best cookies, but don't tell daddy,” she said and Steve chuckled, “I'm sorry.” She cried more.

“I like you too, darling. Don't cry now, we're good.” He assured her, holding her closer to him and gently patting her back.

“So you’ll stay?”

“If that's what you want.” Steve's thumb wiped her tears away as she nodded again.

She wanted to make things up to Uncle Steve like Daddy wanted and Uncle Steve deserved. She wanted to show him she truly was a good girl.

“On one condition though,” Steve said playfully, slipping her hair behind her ear.

She looked up at him, waiting for his next words.

“You let me take care of you like I was supposed to.” Steve's face was serious. It was all he wanted all weekend.

“Okay.” She nodded, smiling tearfully.

How kind was Uncle Steve and how blind was she to not see it!

Steve kissed her forehead and smiled down at her, wiping the rest of her tears away. He adjusted her skirt before they walked back out hand in hand and he sat her down on the couch beside Bucky, who on his turn pretended she wasn't there.

Was Bucky curious about what happened in there? Yeah, he was. But he wasn't about to ask her. He was just glad Steve has got her to stop crying because nothing hurt more than seeing her pretty face all sad and teary.

Steve prepared her snack and came back. He lifted her on his lap and handed her the plate before grabbing the remote to turn on her favourite afternoon show.

“Thank you, Uncle Steve,” she whispered shyly, kissing the man's cheek.

Steve smiled and kissed her temple, rubbing her back as he encouraged her to eat, even feeding her a couple of times and she let him, thanking him every time.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at the scene unfolding beside him but still held back from interfering or interacting with her. He was still mad and she needed to prove herself good again. He bit back a smile, pressing the beer bottle to his lips instead.

As the day came to an end and Steve put her to bed, she was keeping her 'please' and 'thank you's up, using her manners just right and Bucky would secretly, proudly grin every time she did.

“Would you please tell daddy I said goodnight?” She asked Steve, trying not to cry again before bed. She'd wished he'd forgive her by bedtime but he clearly didn't.

“I will, sweetheart. And I'm sure he wishes you a good night too,” Steve pecked her forehead and she smiled.

“Goodnight, Uncle Steve.” She pecked his cheek before resting back, pulling the covers to her chin.

If Bucky was listening, he made no effort to let any of them know.

The next morning Bucky was the same, still giving her a taste of her own medicine. She wanted to cry again but didn't, focusing on fixing things with Uncle Steve, whom she'd been awful to.

“Uncle Steve, please come with me?” She held onto Steve's wrist while he stood with Bucky in the kitchen.

Steve mumbled a 'sure', tilting his head in confusion as he followed the shorter girl.

She sat him on her bed and stood on her tiptoes till she reached her pink piggy bank on the upper shelf on her wall.

She walked to Steve and put the small safe in his lap, “I thought all morning long,”

“What's this, sweetheart?” Steve eyed the object before looking at her.

She smiled sheepishly before shaking the safe left and right in his lap, “to fix Uncle Steve's phone.”

Steve's heart soared in his chest and he remained speechless. She waited for him to take the money but he didn't.

“'S a lot of money. Dada gave me some to keep with piggy every day,” she assured Steve, taking his big hands and wrapping them around the pink safe, wanting him to accept it.

“Sweetheart,” Steve mumbled, setting the piggy bank on the bed before holding her to his chest.

She let herself be squished in his embrace as she stood between his legs, not really understanding what was happening, but at least he wasn't mad at her.

“You don't have to do that.” Steve shook his head before kissing her head.

“But I wanna make it up to you, Uncle Steve. I can't take away the salt in your food or the soap in your eyes or the milk on your pants-” She stopped and pulled back and her smaller hand cupped Steve's cheek, “do you wamme to wash your pants?”

Oh, how precious! She spent her morning thinking about ways to fix what she'd done to him. And she wanted to give him all of her savings to fix his phone. She was even ready to try and clean his pants. She was such a kind little one.

He’d done it. She finally likes him. Steve was beside himself at the progress. This kind of connection with her was all he ever wanted and it made him forget about whatever evil things she'd done during that weekend.

And on the other side of the wall stood a very pleased Bucky.

When they walked back out to the living room, Steve was beaming as he helped her up on his lap. Her body was facing Bucky’s as she leaned onto Steve’s chest. She looked at Bucky and when he looked back she cast her eyes down in shame.

“Come here, doll.” Bucky beckoned, opening his arms for her.

She grinned happily, jumping into them as he lifted her to straddle him. She wrapped her arms around Bucky's neck, burying her face in his shoulders and smelling his scent. Steve smiled, satisfied with their reunion.

Bucky wrapped her up tightly in his arms, pressing a longing kiss to the side of her head, “I missed you too, doll. I missed you so bad.”

“I’m sorry, dada,” she sniffled, clutching Bucky’s shirt.

“I know, doll.” Bucky pressed his lips to her forehead and let the kiss linger there.

In each others' arms, now both, her and Bucky, were really home.

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charliedawn · 2 years ago

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Peter Hannibal's story :

(It's out ! It's finally out ! Yes ! It was hella long to write, but it was definitely worth it. Hope you'll enjoy.)

The very thing that Peter hated more than anything was false sympathy. He could deal with anything, every reaction known to human kind, as long as it didn't involve pity. Unfortunately, it was the very sentiment he seemed to get from everyone around him. It was usually because of his absent father, but sometimes it was about his constantly sick mother and the fact she mostly stayed in bed, or simply because he had never had a lot of ambition in life..

He hated it. All this pity..It unnerved him. But, he had kept his smile through and through.

He always had this innate talent to perceive the very nature of the human beings surrounding him, which could have been considered an advantage if Peter's instinct wasn't to love the very people who could hurt him. He was pulled in by danger, and even though he was perfectly aware of it, he couldn't help it.

"You know...I didn't want to be here.", he started. "I don't understand why the school thought it would be a good idea for me to consult. I'm fine. Really.", Peter tried to convince Hannibal for the third time that week and the other man—being used to it—only nodded once before glancing up knowingly at Peter.

So, when he first met Hannibal Sr., all of his senses screamed at him to stay away—but he didn't. It forced him to get up early in the morning to go to his sessions. They didn't help him with his problems, but it allowed him to spend time with the only being in his life he ever felt could understand..

"The school payed for our sessions. There must be a reason behind it ? I am here to help you, Peter. Not judge you.", Hannibal Sr. reminded the young man and Peter started fidgeting nervously—trying his best to remain as composed as possible in front of him. He had no intention to let him know about his feelings. He wouldn't understand them anyway..Who ever could ? He didn't understand them himself. However, it was true he wanted to open up to someone—anyone..So, he decided to let a tiny crack spread in his defenses. Just a tiny one. He had already talked to many shrinks before, some had even refused to meet him again after the second session.

Peter looked like your typical average teenager from a distance, but it was only when people started digging too closely into his mind that they started realizing that something was wrong with him..His shrinks were no different. If anything, they all realized sooner than most because of it.

But, they couldn't do anything about it.

He wasn't sick. Not in the medical sense of the term anyhow..The true genius behind Peter was he had the gift to look normal and the most inconspicuous person in the room to others. But, inside ? He was a terrible mess.

Hannibal Sr. was the first to last more than a year as his psy..And he had stopped counting his predecessors.

"My mom...She's sick. And she says that my girlfriend is a bad influence on me. Ava knows, and she thinks I'm avoiding her because of that. But, I'm not. I just..I want them both to be happy.", he begrudgingly admitted and Hannibal Sr. held back a smile at his small victory.

Peter was one of his only teenage patients, and even though they had been meeting for quite a while now, he hadn't really been exactly the most talkative. So far, Hannibal Sr. had gathered that he was a rather lonely boy with no real attachment—unless you would count his mother and that mysterious girlfriend of his. He had tried to make him open up and trust him, but Peter was a rather suspicious and fleeting boy who also happened to be keen on approval and—let that be acknowledged—right down a people pleaser. But, there was something about the boy that made Hannibal Sr. consider that his inner character may not be in complete accord with the image he portrayed on the outside.

He decided to indulge in his personal curiosity and dig deeper—as to discover exactly what the boy was hiding exactly.

"Tell me more about her then. Who is...Ava ?", he inquired with a slight tilt of his head, scrutinizing Peter with those very keen observing eyes of his that made Peter squirm in his seat.

Peter had asked Hannibal multiple times not to discuss on the subject or he would end their sessions, but his warning had fallen into deaf ears it seemed. Anyway, not like his threat would have been very efficient. Hannibal Sr. was a dear friend of his school's headmaster and for some reason, he always seemed to hold all the right cards in hand at the right moment..He was only 16 when the sessions had started, but he could already tell that something wasn't right about that doctor. He was fundamentally unsettling and Peter couldn't help but feel extremely nervous under his perceptive gaze—as if he could read into him as in an open book. He knew he shouldn't give in and talk. But—as always when it came to Ava—Peter couldn't stay quiet. He was so infatuated with her, he could find all the reasons and use all the words in the world to describe her that he still would feel that they wouldn't give her justice. He had to tell the world just how much he loved her.

"Ava is the love of my life. We met at some party two years back. We made eye contact and in a matter of seconds, she stole my heart. She's sweet, and even though we've had a few complicated issues, she's the reason I wake up every morning..", he stared up at the ceiling with a dreamy smile—forgetting as to the doctor's very presence..His thoughts focusing on Ava's smile and twinkling eyes. He almost didn't hear Hannibal Sr.'s next question.

"And...why does your mother not approve of your relationship ?"

Peter's smile faltered and he sighed. He then groaned before covering his face with his hands. He didn't want to share his feelings, or open up more than he should..But, he still had to go through the sessions and as he had nobody else to talk to, he secretly found in Hannibal Sr. a valuable confident. He finally confessed half-heartedly.

"Because since summer break ended, Alice's personality kinda changed."

He stayed vague and his eyes seemed to avoid Hannibal Sr' as he raised a quizzical eyebrow at him.

"..Changed ?", he engaged.

Peter closed his eyes and sighed. He could still see sweet Ava smiling at him and feel his heart racing at the way her bright eyes lit up the room as she noticed his presence. They had agreed upon staying together until the end of time. He lived for that smile. He would die for those eyes..

However, his dream was shattered by a dark scowl and cold indifferent eyes.

Beginning of flashback :

He had texted her multiple times during the summer —but she had suddenly decided to ignore him. He didn't know why and had fought the urge to go see her himself, but had decided to wait instead.

When they had returned to school—things had changed. His sweet Ava had turned into this dark creature with soulless eyes and all traces of a smile had vanished into nothingness. She did not even greet him.

She seemed to be a complete different person, and it didn't take long for Peter to realize why..

It was at that moment he first met Steve—the very reason for the sudden change in his sweet Ava..A boy. A boy with dark hair and who he knew to be a couple years older than the both of them. Peter immediately grew an intense dislike for him. He stared at his hand on Alice's shoulder and his whole body lit with a fire he didn't know was possible..To everyone else, Peter looked perfect—hence his popular nickname "the angel of McKinnon High." But, if people could see how he was holding back and the dark thoughts plaguing his mind, they wouldn't move out of his way out of respect or admiration..but, fear.

And, even though he was smiling, there was no warmth behind it. Peter stood before Ava whose smile suddenly fell upon his arrival and she casted her eyes downwards—as if ashamed.

"Hey Ava..Who's your new friend ?", he asked—pretending not to recognize the very boy who some had claimed being the very talented new basketball player..He certainly had the muscles for it. Was it the reason Ava was now standing next to this guy instead of him ?

"Oh. Peter. Hey. Sorry. Here. This is Steve. Steve Moclay.", Ava still didn't meet his gaze, she flee his accusative stare. She knew Peter would be angry. They weren't exactly official, but Peter had always held power over her. He had claimed they were meant to be, and she had been too young to differentiate love from sympathy..But now, she was starting to understand things—things she had failed to notice before. For example, how she had made her whole life revolve around Peter.

But, no more.

She had had no choice but to find a way to keep him away by using Steve. Steve was the only one who seemed unaffected by Peter's natural charm and she hoped it would be enough. Said Steve was at least a head taller than Peter and there was something about his smile that made Peter shiver in disgust. Who was this guy ?

"Hey, dude. Nice to meet you.", Steve took a step forward to shake Peter's hand and the only thing Peter could think about afterwards was how to get the dirt out of his hand..

End of flashback :

He finally confessed.

"Alice used to be sweet. Kind. Beautiful. The one who returned on the other hand...She's difficult. I don't understand her. She isn't a bad person but, she's just different. She changed her look, her friends, even her personality..I don't know how to talk to her. And I don't want to lose her. I don't know what to do..", he uttered that last part with such exasperation and Hannibal Sr. could see the young man was on the verge of tears..He sighed before setting his notes aside to lean forward to pat his shoulder sympathetically.

"Courage, my boy. Try to talk to the young lady. Maybe, does she feel the same way about you ?", he hypothesized and Peter seemed uncertain, but nodded nonetheless.

"I'll...try.", he finally muttered in faint agreement—lost in thought—and Hannibal Sr. smiled satisfactorily at the young boy's agreement.

"Good. Now, I'm afraid I have another appointment. We'll see each other next week." Peter stood up to leave, unaware of the trap he had just fallen into. The moment he was gone, Hannibal Sr. wordlessly took off his watch and put it aside. He had no more use for it now..He only had one patient scheduled today.

---------------------------------------------------

As soon as Peter stood out of the office, he noticed his mother standing next to the door, leaning against the wall and waiting for him. She took a puff of her cigarette and tilted her head back slightly before blowing the smoke out. She didn't say anything. Neither did he.

Kathleen Michaels wasn't one to ask questions, but she did make the effort for him.

"Is he any good ?", she finally asked, eyeing him briefly before staring back at the opposite wall. It wasn't a genuine question. She knew that if he didn't enjoy it, she wouldn't have to drive him almost every morning to his office. But, Peter still answered.

"Yeah..He is."

He saw a flicker of doubt in his mother's eyes, but it quickly vanished and she sighed before putting out her cigarette in a nearby house plant. She never liked shrinks..

"Come on. Let's go."

He didn't need to be told twice. He followed Kathleen outside and as his gaze wandered to a nearby swing, he smiled at the memories of when he was a child and his mother would bring him here. Inseparable..Or, so they used to be. But, things had deteriorated between them since his father's death. His father was a good man. No doubt about it. But, he left too soon and as he looked a lot like him, his mother saw Peter as a reincarnation of him and had fought hard for Peter to follow in his footsteps.

He was top of his class.

He had been elected "most eligible prom king of the year".

He had applied to Yale and Harvard.

He was most likely going to be accepted.

He had done everything to make her proud.

But...

"I saw Ava today. She really changed..I wonder how her parents must feel ?"

Peter remained silent. He knew where the conversation was going..Ava was the only choice he ever made. He chose her because she was kind, kinder than most. And she never seemed to judge. She was perfect.

And he knew his mother would approve.

However, now..Ava was different, and his mother was trying to convince him to stop seeing her..But, he wouldn't.

He refused to.

Kathleen's expression finally softened as she pulled front of the school and she sighed before turning towards Peter. She squeezed his leg and smiled.

"Hey..You know I love you, right ?"

Peter stared at his feet for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah..I love you too, mom."

He then opened the door and got out.

In school :

Peter had P.E with Ava and sought to talk to her then, but when he tried to approach her—he noticed the same boy from before. He was training with Ava and Peter felt his jealousy flare.

He then looked back at Ava who seemed oblivious to the amount of discomfort Peter was in.

He wanted to talk to her alone, but when he tried to reach for her—Steve stepped in. He stood in front of him and addressed him another one of his fake smiles.

"Sorry. Ava promised to train with me today. Hope you don't mind ?"

There was a silent warning to his words. Peter looked at Ava who addressed him an apologetic smile.

"See you at lunch ?"

Peter didn't answer. He only frowned a little before walking away. He didn't know what had happened during the summer, but one thing was for sure..

That Steve guy had to step out of their life.

At lunch break :

Peter finally got the chance to speak to Alice, but it didn't go the way he thought it would..

"I'm breaking up with you."

It was so sudden, it took him a minute to process.

"W..What ?"

Ava didn't dare meet his gaze, she knew what we would find in there. She knew Peter to be sensible to betrayal and that he would see it as one, but she just couldn't keep it in any longer..She couldn't lie to him.

She loved Peter. But, she also knew that something wasn't right about him. She had always felt uneasy around him, as if she was trapped and needed to be let out..

He would choose her make-up.

He would pick her outfit for the day.

He would even choose her food for her.

He talked of marriage and children when they weren't even out of high school yet.

It felt wrong..And she was tired of pretending it wasn't.

"I'm...breaking up with you, Peter. I'm sorry."

She then left before he could even think of a reply, try to convince her not to do this. He wanted to grab her arm, make her stay, crumble at her feet and beg her to stay..but, he was frozen in place. He felt tears in his eyes and his heart drop to his feet. He couldn't believe it..

Steve must have brainwashed her or something..

It couldn't be happening. Not to him..

He started walking aimlessly from class to class—his head empty and body numb. He couldn't concentrate on anything. Finally, the bell rang for the end of his last class of the day and Peter started gathering his things—even though his eyes were staring at Alice at the front row. She could feel his staring of course, but decided to ignore it.

Then, someone opened the door and Peter was surprised to see Steve enter with a wide grin and flyers in his hands.

"Yo, people ! Party at my house this weekend ! Don't be late !"

He started distributing the flyers and Peter was surprised to even receive one.

However, he then looked up to find that Ava was already excitingly and actively discussing the outfit she would wear for the party with her friends.

His dark thoughts returned to him and he crumbled the flyer in his hand because of the jealousy he felt weaving itself into his heart.

There was a party organized—one where he knew he would find Ava. And he would convince her. He would convince her that he was the best.

He gathered the last of his things and scurried out the room—failing to notice how Steve had not only given flyers to the students, but had also placated it everywhere for anyone to see.

Hannibal Sr. smiled when he took one of the flyers.

It promised to be interesting..

At the party :

Peter had chosen his best suit to wear for the party. He wanted to impress Ava, he had even practiced dance moves in case he would get the chance to invite her for a dance. He slicked his hair back with some gel and when he got out of the bathroom, his mother was waiting for him with a proud smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

"My goodness Pete..You look so handsome."

She then cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead lovingly.

"My perfect little boy. You are the most amazing thing that could have ever happened to me.."

There was such tenderness in his mother's eyes and Peter's heart squeezed a little at the word..Perfect..If she only knew how his whole life was falling apart, she would be so disappointed..

He kissed her cheek and mumbled a goodnight before walking out. He didn't want her to see his tears..

He was going to get Ava back. He was going to be perfect again. He just needed her. And he would have her. He just needed the gun he had hid in his coat to stay hidden a little longer..Just a little longer..

At Steve's party :

Peter gulped at the impressive size of the Moclay's estate and it took a while for him to even find the place. But once he found it, he let the bright red balloons and the music lead him to the ball room. It was lit and people were already dancing when he entered.

He sought Ava with his eyes among the crowd and finally spotted her next to the bowl of punch.

However, Peter felt like he had swallowed a whole lump of butter when he saw that Ava wasn't alone. Steve was standing right beside her, and she was smiling. There was something different about that smile..It wasn't a fake or one designed to make him miserable, it was far worse. It was one of truthful enjoyment. She was enjoying Steve's company, and it made Peter's heart squeeze.

He didn't like that smile.

He marched towards the two of them and Alice's eyes widened as she noticed him.

"Peter..What are you..?"

"Please.", he interrupted her and held out his hand to her, "Could you please give me this dance ?"

Steve scoffed mockingly, as if he was already certain of her answer. But, she surprised them both when she slid her hand in his.

"Sure. One dance."

She still felt attached to Peter and even though she had made it clear it was over between them, she didn't see the harm in them remaining good friends. They started waltzing around and Peter could feel they were being stared at and lowered his head slightly in embarrassment. It made Ava chuckle a little.

"That look..You had the exact same when we first met. You seemed so lost. I smiled at you and I saw you smile back..My heart literally skipped a beat.", she admitted and Peter's eyes widened a little. He had always thought she had chosen him because of his popularity and good looks, he had tried to hide his struggles from her and every time he wanted to break down and cry..He had kept a smile on his face, because he thought she would love him better this way. But, he now understood his mistake. He should have been truthful with her.

He smiled back and at the end of the song, he kissed her hand like a gentleman. Ava smiled sadly at him before hugging him. She still held some affection for him and Peter was happy...until he saw Steve at the corner of his eye. He was flirting with some girl and showing his abs, like the first-class moron that he was. He accepted that Ava didn't want him now, but he wouldn't let the jerk hurt her. He then heard Steve sat he was going to the toilet and walk out of the ballroom.

It was his time to strike.

He bowed slightly in front of Alice before taking his leave, unaware that she would follow him a few minutes later..

In the toilet :

Steve was washing his hands when he heard the door open. He didn't take notice of the blond boy until he was right behind him. He looked up and sneered when he recognized him.

"Hey there, Pete. Enjoying the party ?"

Peter didn't answer, he only asked with his voice shaking.

"Say..Do you even like her ?" Steve stopped dead in his tracks—the sound of running water the only thing that could be heard as silence settled between them.

"Like who ?", he finally asked with a slight frown and a chill ran down Peter's spine at Steve's emotionless tone as he uttered in a helpless whimper.

"Ava..Do you even like her ?"

Steve let out a small huff—as if the answer was self-evident.

"No. But, you do." He turned around and Peter could have sworn to see a small victorious smirk on his face.

"You got everything, Peter. Good grades. Hot chick. Hell, hot mom even..It was time I got something too, don't you think ?"

He then left the bathroom and Peter's eyes widened significantly at the realization..Steve did not even care about Ava—it had all only ever been a game to him. He then clutched the fabric over his chest tightly and realized he had trouble breathing. He didn't understand..What had he done wrong for Ava to choose this guy over him ?..Peter had always been perfect.

So perfect.

And just like that, that asshole had made everything crash down for his own sadistic pleasure.

Suddenly, all of Peter's sanity broke and he let out a terrible scream of frustration. Why didn't they like him ? What had he ever done to deserve this ? He pulled out his gun and in a moment of pure unrestrained insanity, he ran after Steve.

Hadn't he followed the rules ? Hadn't he always been there for her ?

Once he was at aim's reach, he shot the guy's legs. The sound of gun fire was covered by the music and even though Steve was writhing in pain on the floor and screaming his lungs out—the others were too far to hear him.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't hear.

"WHY DO THIS TO ME, HUH ?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU ?! WHY TAKE HER ?! WHY NOT EVERYTHING ELSE ?! COME ON, YOU COWARD ! WHY STOP THERE, HUH ?! WHY NOT TAKE EVERYTHING ELSE, NOW THAT YOU TOOK THE MOST ESSENTIAL !", Peter was in such a state, he almost didn't hear Steve when he answered.

"Because she wanted it too ! She was fucking tired of you and your good boy act ! She's the one who asked me out, you idiot !", Steve screamed with tears flowing down his face as Peter sat on him and prevented him from crawling forward.

"YOU ARE LYING ! AVA WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO ME !", he cried out in desperation—but was interrupted by a loud gasp. He turned around and found her standing there.

Ava looked shocked and he quickly pulled away from Steve. But, it was too late.

Ava looked at him with pure unadulterated fear in her eyes, but she didn't plan on Peter to be armed..He had already shot Steve and instinctively pointed his gun at Ava. But, immediately changed the aim to his own temple.

"Ava..He doesn't deserve you. Please. Tell me not to do this."

He just wanted a no. Anything that would show she cared for him.

He would find out where her loyalty truly lied.

Ava's eyes widened as she looked between Peter and Steve successively. She tried not to make any sudden movement, in case Peter would take it the wrong way. He thought about the years shared with her, the years he had spent trying to make her happy—all shattered in an instant as he saw the horror in her eyes.

"Pete..What are you doing ?", she finally asked with tears in her eyes and Peter trembled as he pondered on her question. What was he doing ? He was trying to get the love of his life back..What was so wrong with that ?

"Ava ! Get out of here ! He's a fucking psycho !", Steve yelled—breaking Peter out of his thoughts. He turned towards Steve with a mean scowl and spat out.

"Shut up !"

Peter then turned back towards Ava with tearful eyes, "I tried...so hard. I love you. I wanted you to choose me. And yet, it wasn't enough, was it ? Tell me...What is so exceptional about him, huh ?"

Ava bit her lower lip hesitantly before finally confessing.

"It is is not about what he has, Pete. It is about who I am. When I am with Steve, I can be myself around him. I can be genuine. He sees me. Whereas you ? You don't see me. You see someone else. I don't even know you, Pete. And after what you did, I don't think I even want to."

Peter gritted his teeth and his hands shook as he gripped the fabric of his suit over his heart—tight enough to tear the fabric. He failed to notice how Ava had seemed to get closer and closer, until it was too late. She lunged forward to reach for the gun. They fought for it and Peter didn't want to hurt her, he really didn't mean to...but, he pulled the trigger nonetheless.

When he realized what he had done, his eyes widened in shock.

Ava's knees buckled and he quickly held her before her head could hit the floor. He cupped her cheeks and wiped the tears there—muttering a series of unintelligible apologies as he kissed her forehead.

"All I ever wanted..it was to make you smile.", he told her and Ava blinked a few of her tears away as she felt blood fill her mouth.

"I'm sorry...I couldn't be as perfect as you wanted me to be.", she uttered and fell limp into his arms. He blinked several times and couldn't believe that she was gone. He threw the gun away. People would come running he guessed..The second gun shot couldn't have been missed.

Steve stayed stunned beside him, his eyes brimmed with tears as he kept staring at Ava's body—as if waiting for her to stand back up. When he realized it was real and she wouldn't wake up, Steve gritted his teeth and yelled.

"MURDERER !"

Peter looked at him with glassy eyes and shook his head, opening his mouth to deny. He wasn't a murderer. It was an accident. He lifted his blood-covered hands and blinked twice before opening his mouth to scream—but no sound left his mouth. His hands were soiled with Ava's blood and the pain he felt was excruciating. He finally stepped up and felt as if his whole body was numb and acting on its own as it stepped forward. He picked up the gun and pointed it at himself.

He had killed Ava. It was only normal he would join her..However, before he could, he heard a noise behind him. He turned around to see Hannibal Sr. standing there, his eyes staring at him with a small smile.

"Hello, Peter."

Peter suddenly remembered the reason for his current situation—the fact that Hannibal Sr. had told him to talk to her—and stood up on wobbly legs before pointing his gun at Hannibal Sr.

"You...IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ! YOU TRICKED ME !", he cried out and Hannibal Sr. tilted his head to the side. Peter's vision became blurry because of the tears gathering in his eyes, but even then, he didn't fail to notice the knowing smirk the old man addressed him next.

"My poor boy. I did no such thing..I just opened your eyes." Peter clenched his teeth, but before he could reply—Steve shouted.

"Thank god ! Call the police ! He just fucking killed my girlfriend !"

Hannibal Sr. looked down at Steve and frowned a little. This was bad. Too much attention. And the boy was loud.

Hannibal Sr.' eyes then landed on the mess on the floor and he tsskd. Really..What a waste of good meat..Peter wondered if he should shoot him, but Hannibal Sr. took the gun from his hands before he could. He was about to protest, but words stayed stuck in his throat when he saw the old man shoot Steve in the head mercilessly instead. He then made sure to leave his fingertips on the gun and Peter asked confused.

"W..What are you..?"

Hannibal Sr. offered him a small comforting smiled before giving him a piece of paper.

"When I am arrested, give this to my oldest son. He'll know what to do with you.."

Peter's eyes widened in shock and he shook his head.

"What do you mean when you get arrested ? I don't understand.."

Hannibal Sr. opened his mouth to reply, but the sounds of voices and numerous footsteps grew louder and louder. They didn't have the time.

"Go. Go, my boy..", Hannibal Sr. whispered urgently and eyes the exit to the woods significantly. There wasn't any time to waste. They would soon find them and Hannibal Sr. knew that they needn't find Peter in his company for his plan to work.

Peter hesitated.

He wanted to know why he was doing this, but Hannibal Sr. raised his index to his lips and smeared blood on his lips, his eyes still staring at Peter. He was going to take the fall, but it would be to build a legacy far greater than himself.

"You are...a brilliant young man, Peter.", was the last thing Hannibal Sr. said to him—the corners of his lips spreading into a bloody grin. He then cupped Peter's cheeks and held him there for a moment, observing him—as if making a mental map of his face in his brain. He didn't want to forget..

This moment would haunt Peter for months to come, as it was the only time he felt such pride in a compliment.

People had called him brilliant before, but never like Hannibal Sr. There was something different about being called that from a man who would spend years—most likely decades—in prison for him. He was offering Peter a second chance and even though Peter's face was now covered with blood—his own lips parted into a large grin.

"Thank you..", he murmured before running away. Hannibal Sr. followed him with his eyes until he was completely out of sight and sighed before closing his eyes—the sound of police sirens could be heard in the distance.

"...Curse my weakness for broken puppies."

At Peter's house :

Kathleen could tell something wrong had happened the moment Peter entered the house. He had his eyes empty of all light and she immediately reached for him—as he seemed on the verge of collapsing.

"Pete. My goodness..You're so cold. What happened ?"

She waited for an answer, but the young boy remained silent and when he eyes finally settled on her, his smile seemed as empty as his eyes.

"Nothing, mom..I'm fine."

Suddenly, Kathleen felt this odd sense of dread wash over her as her son's whole demeanor seemed so distant from the one she was used to.

"What did you do, Peter ?", she asked tearfully, frightened as she saw the blood on his shirt and Peter let out a dark chuckle.

"...She said I wasn't good enough. But, I am good enough for you, right mom ?"

Kathleen had never been afraid of Peter before, she always saw him as a sweet boy who would never end up like her good-for-nothing husband. She had spared his feelings by telling him he was a good man, but the reality was far different. She thought they could escape. Peter would be raised to be everything his father had failed to be...But, the man standing before her wasn't her son. She didn't recognize him when her eyes were staring deep into those two holes shrewd in darkness..All she saw there was the very thing she had sought to escape.

"I..I don't understand..", she mumbled with tears falling down her cheeks. She didn't understand..How could it be ? How had she failed to notice ?

She took a step back from Peter whose expression hardened at the action. He then let his bag slide down his shoulder and fall to the floor. He almost seemed dead.

"First in my class. School king. Good kid. Always the good kid..", he took a step forward, "I aced my final terms and everything was going smoothly..I would go to a good college. Marry her. Have children..Everything was going to be perfect mom. Perfect..But, she..she messed it all up."

Kathleen's eyes widened as Peter went on about the plans she had hoped his future would hold. She had ever only wanted his happiness, but she now could see her mistake. She had created a monster.

"What did you do, Peter ?", she asked again, but more firmly this time.

Peter cocked his head to the side and smiled at the blood on his shirt. Her eyes followed his and she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth in horror.

"No..Peter..", she muttered—horrified by her son's action—and slowly stepped back from him. "She was just a child.."

"SO AM I !", he shouted back—his eyes glaring daggers at her—and his mother closed her eyes, unable to look at him anymore.

Peter's features softened and he opened his mouth to apologize, he even took a step forward to embrace her. But, Kathleen wouldn't let him. She felt sick and the smell of blood didn't help.

"Don't. Don't come near me..Just, get out.", she commanded and Peter stopped dead in his tracks.

"W..What ?"

He couldn't believe she would ask that..Where was he supposed to go ?

"I SAID GET OUT, YOU MONSTER !", she finally yelled and shoved him away. Peter was shocked at first, but it quickly turned into anger. Peter gritted his teeth and in a moment of terrible rage—pushed his mother down the stairs. He still remembered the discussion she had had with the postman about the busted stair—but it only dawned on him when his mother let out a terrible scream of pain. She had landed on the damaged one and had probably twisted her ankle.

He ran his fingers through his golden locks and felt trapped. He was about to dial the emergencies when he stopped. He looked down at her and knew if he was to call anyone, she would surely give him up. He hesitated before finally pick up his bag and shoving random things he found important to keep before throwing a phone at his mother.

"I love you, mom..and I'm sorry. For every thing.", he said with a small apologetic smile—but didn't wait for her answer before running out of the house.

Kathleen gave him five minutes before shakingly dialing 911 and she waited. When they finally picked up, she felt her throat dry..

"Police ? I..I'm calling about my.." Her words stayed struck in her throat and she immediately hung up. No matter how much of a monster he was, she couldn't hand him over. She raised her eyes to the ceiling and whispered apologetically.

"God..Forgive me."

She then dialed the emergencies instead.

At the Hannibal mansion :

Peter still had Hannibal Sr' note clutched tightly in his hand and in a panic—he knocked at the door.

"PLEASE ! LET ME IN !"

Hannibal Jr. opened the door and was surprised to find Peter standing there. He was about to ask what was going on when Peter handed him the note Hannibal Sr. had given him before his arrest.

Hannibal Jr. closed his mouth and took the piece of paper. He then read it and frowned a little. But, it was enough for him to let Peter in as he opened the door wordlessly.

Peter scrurried inside and he glanced around nervously—his bag clutched tightly against his chest. Hannibal Jr. followed him with his eyes and noticed Morgan—observing from the shadows. Morgan knew how to welcome unexpected visitors and hid a syringe behind his back with enough sleeping juice to knock out a bull. Before Peter could as much as say a word, Morgan stepped behind him and injected him with the strange concoction.

In a matter of seconds, he collapsed.

Hannibal Jr. let the note fall to the floor and sighed before picking up the boy in his arms and carrying him to his bedroom.

Take care of that one for me. See you soon, son.

A few hours later :

Peter woke up on a bed and was momentarily dazed by the blinding light and the strange drug that was surely still circulating in his veins..

He blinked several times before his vision became less blurry and he could finally see clearly the face of an older boy—staring at him right above his head.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty. How was the nap ?", Kevin asked with a large grin and a playful wink. He had waited all night for the newbie to wake up before his curiosity had gotten the best of him and he had decided to wake him up himself.

He had been so excited to meet him and see his reaction upon awakening.

He wasn't disappointed.

Peter screamed and in his rush to sit up, bumped their foreheads together. Peter whined in pain and held his forehead with both hands before leaning back down—the world swirling abnormally around him—but Kevin only smiled wider.

A feisty one ! Good.

He was afraid he might end up with another Morgan..As if summoned by the thought alone, Morgan appeared at the door and addressed Kevin a disapproving glare.

"Kevin. I told you he needed rest.", he admonished the younger man who only stuck out his tongue at him. "Whatever, kill joy ! I just wanted to take a peek ! I had no idea he was gonna wake up !"

However, Peter only froze at the other unfamiliar face and suddenly, memories of last night seemed to hit him and his eyes widened before he started crying.

Kevin's smile faltered slightly upon the sight and he looked up at the other young man who had his brow furrowed slightly at the odd overemotional display..

"Hey, Morgan ! We got a cry baby emergency over here.", he called out to the other stranger who sighed loudly in annoyance before standing right next to Peter. He then leaned forward and started examining him. Peter tried to speak, but couldn't—an invisible force forbidding his lips from parting and words to fall down..He was utterly lost and confused.

"Relax. Your lips should start functioning again in a few minutes.", the older one instructed him in a low and ushered voice. He then took his hand and placed it just above his own chest, breathing deeply so Peter may follow his breathing pattern.

Peter understood the boy was trying to soothe him as he started taking big breaths and beckoned Peter to follow the rhythm of his own breathing. Peter indulged and followed the movement of his chest, finding comfort in the rather cool and collected man.

"Unfortunately, our uncle couldn't stay and asked me to look out for you while he is away. But, rest assured that you are now safe and we will be looking out for each other from now on."

He then gently traced the side of Peter's face with a tenderness he wasn't accustomed to and that clashed with the coldness in his eyes. It was like his touch was made of ice.

"Sorry for earlier, junior. Didn't mean to scare you or anything..I'm Kevin and this is Morgan ! Your awesome new brothers !", Kevin introduced them and gave the young man a broad smile. Peter froze on the spot...Brothers ? Morgan seemed to understand his confusion as he took a short step forward and extended his hand towards him in a gesture he hoped appeared amical.

"Morgan. Morgan Hannibal. But, you can call me big brother if you wish."

Peter stared at the outstretched hand for a couple of seconds, pondering on his options and what being an Hannibal would entail.

He would have to leave everything behind..He would have to say goodbye to his mother and forget about his life to devote himself to a family he didn't even know anything about..Finally, he tentatively reached out and shook Morgan's hand.

"I'm..Thank you."

Morgan smiled and shortly.

"Welcome to the family, Peter Hannibal !", Kevin greeted excitedly—grinning widely and restraining himself from taking his new little brother into his arms.

Peter...Hannibal ? Peter pondered on that name and finally, he smiled. It felt right. But, the true meaning behind those words only truly settled in when Morgan added.

"No attachment. No history. I have the feeling that you will be a great fit, Peter Hannibal."

Peter gulped and even though he was still terrified, he nodded in agreement. He had to admit he didn't have much choice in the matter. He was now a Hannibal. Besides, Morgan was right. Peter had nowhere else to go, no one to turn to..

"I'm a vegetarian.", he felt was necessary to inform the man whose smile didn't leave his face as he walked past him and didn't seem even surprised by the news.

"I know..", he enigmatically replied and Peter wondered if they had actually been waiting for him. Did they already know he would accept ?

Both older boys smiled, as if they knew something he didn't..And for some reason, Peter was fine with it.

A few weeks later :

The absence of both Hannibal elders was beginning to gain on the three boys. Tension finally broke loose when Morgan received a letter from Hannibal Jr. explaining how Hannibal Sr. had decided to forbid them to witness his trial in person.

Truth be told, the two oldest sons hadn't really asked Peter anything about his past and he doubted they even knew he was the reason behind Hannibal Sr.' imprisonment. They all thought Hannibal Sr. would have some kind of plan to get out of there—as he always seemed to have. But, they weren't aware of the extent to which Hannibal Sr. was willing to go to protect his family—nor did they expect what happened during the trial until it was broadcast on news TV.

"How do you plead, Hannibal Sr. Lecter..?"

The three boys held their breath, waiting as Hannibal Sr. was about to speak up. He finally stood up and didn't hesitate before declaring.

"Guilty to a fault, your honor.."

All Hell broke loose in the Courtroom as Hannibal Sr. turned towards the crowd and offered them his best smile.

"Cry and hurl all you want, dear members of the jury. You sheep will always bellow, but wolves will always exist. So, you would better get used to looking at one."

He then mockingly bowed before being dragged away under a shower of curses and boos..But, Hannibal Sr. didn't care. He was a proud wolf and had lived a long and fruitful life..Peter was but a young wolfling—and Hannibal Sr. couldn't wait to see who he would turn out to be..

Back in the Hannibal household :

At the moment of the verdict, a tension was created between the brothers that left Peter guilty for having caused so much trouble. He still thought he could get away with the blame though, since they didn't know Hannibal Sr. would be serving time because of him. But then, Morgan had a phone call.

And that phone call was the beginning of trouble for Peter.

Because that phone call came from Hannibal Jr. and it involved keeping a close eye on Peter, because Hannibal Jr. suspected the sudden add not to only be coincidental with Hannibal Sr. arrest.

It made their relationship all the more difficult after that—especially between Peter and the eldest Hannibal son. He had tried his best to regain his approval afterwards, but to no avail.

Peter waited until the end of dinner one night and it was time to clean the dishes to go see Morgan. He pretended not to see Peter at first, his eyes and hands fully focused of the dirty dishes in the sink..

"Morgan..I'm sorry. It's my fault. I..I should have been the one to end up in prison. I'm the one who killed Ava. I also shot Steve. I'm sorry..", he finally confessed and Morgan didn't even flinch or spare him a glance at the news.

"Do you think me stupid ?"

The question took Peter aback as he tried to find an answer to give the other boy.

"I..No. I don't think..", he stammered and Morgan finally told him—still not willing to look at him.

"I knew. We both did. Hannibal Sr. disappears and you show up ? It didn't take a genius to put one and one together. I'm just disappointed you didn't come clean earlier.."

Peter felt a knot in his throat and tears in his eyes. He sounded worse than just disappointed, he sounded hurt..

"Brother..Please..", Peter tried to touch him, but didn't expect it when Morgan suddenly turned around with fire in his eyes.

"Do. Not. Call me that."

Peter felt tears in his eyes..He had already been rejected twice, he couldn't handle a third time. When Morgan tried to walk past him, Peter grabbed his arm and forced him to stay put. Morgan seemed surprised at first, but it quickly turned into anger when Peter mumbled pathetically.

"Please, Morgan..Don't hate me.."

It seemed to snap the last thread of patience Morgan had for him.

"WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ?!", Morgan suddenly burst. "WE WILL NEVER BE BROTHERS ! OUR FATHER ! THE MAN WHO GAVE US A HOME ! HE IS IN PRISON BECAUSE OF YOU ! YOU ARE A PLAGUE ! A PARASITE !"

Morgan pulled away from his grip and Peter raised his arms to cover his face instinctively. He waited for Morgan to hit him—he deserved it. But, when no blow came, he tentatively opened his eyes and found Morgan looking at him with an unreadable expression..

Kevin—shocked at his brother's loss of countenance himself—hadn't tried to intervene. He had never seen Morgan so angry. He was usually the most composed one, the one you turned to when things went wrong..But, the rage on his face was enough to make Kevin understand Peter was in deep trouble and he was most likely to get killed if he didn't step up for the brat...if he cared enough to act that is.

But, he only watched as Morgan's hands closed into fists and his eyes ran wild as he tried not to punch Peter's face until nothing remained but red..Morgan was holding onto his last thread of patience and even though Kevin didn't necessarily want to step in, he had to do something before Hannibal Jr. came back to a bloodbath.

He sighed loudly and stepped between the both of them.

"That's enough. We both know Peter has nothing to do with it. Dad decided to plead guilty. It's his own fault he is in this mess.."

Morgan stayed still for a while before he huffed and turned away—leaving Kevin and Peter alone. Peter didn't dare make eye contact. He knew what the young man thought of him. But, he was surprised when Kevin finally sighed and squeezed his shoulder.

"Don't worry. It'll pass. He just needs...time."

He seemed hesitant, but Peter was more surprised by the fact that Kevin wasn't angry at him than worried.

"Aren't you...angry at me ?", he asked hesitatingly and Kevin huffed a laugh.

"Me ? Nah. I know the only reason Hannibal Sr. got caught was because he wanted to..Besides, he really wanted you. I may not see why yet, but I'm sure I will eventually.."

Peter finally smiled, a little hope lifting his spirits at Kevin's words. At least, he didn't hate him. That was already good. He didn't think the one to comfort him would be Kevin—but then—his grip on him tightened perceptibly and his smile became a little too fake as he leaned forward so Peter may hear him very carefully.

"But, try to hurt me, or anyone else in this family ? And you're dead, got it newbie ?", he whispered threateningly in his ear and Peter knew better than to disagree. Hs smile dropped instantly and he nodded. Kevin's smile returned to his face and he loosened his grip on him.

"Good. Glad we could clear that out. Goodnight, newbie."

Peter returned to his bedroom and balled himself into a fœtus position on his bed. He then started sobbing uncontrollably and numbed himself into into an uneasy sleep.

A few minutes later :

When Morgan entered Peter's room with a knife in hand, he had every intention to get rid of Peter..He didn't care about what Hannibal Sr.' wished. He was convinced the boy was going to be the downfall of the Hannibals and he would be caught dead before letting that happen.

He approached the bed and let the bladed dance lazily on the bedsheets before reaching Peter's face. He let the sharp edge dig into his skin without breaking skin.

One movement.

One slash.

One tinny accident, and he would be gone.

But then, Peter stirred in his sleep and suddenly grabbed Morgan's hand. Morgan looked down as the fingers clutching desperately around his..He retrieved his knife.

He hated Peter, he was the reason behind Hannibal Sr.' imprisonment and he would never be a Hannibal in his eyes, but Morgan still hesitated. Peter held his hand tightly and Morgan took the new proximity to observe his sleeping form more closely.

"NO ! PLEASE ! MOM ! COME BACK ! I'M SORRY !"

He cried for his mom, a mother Morgan hadn't been so lucky to be given at birth. Peter had killed someone, and it had suddenly been decided that he would join the family just like that. It irked Morgan who fought every day to be worthy of the name.

He appeared so soft. He looked like an angel.

He didn't act, look, or even sound like a Hannibal.

And maybe was it the reason Morgan was so set on refusing him ? Kevin and himself held no more innocence in them, they had given it all to be spared the pain. But, this one. This one was not born out of deceit and cruelty. He had left a loving mother and a good life behind to join them..The thought alone made him a fool in Morgan's eyes—him who had only ever wanted a life such as his.

He couldn't restrain himself as he bent over to seethe lowly in Peter's ear.

"...I hope you die."

It made him want to consume him and take that small part of happiness. He leaned forward and wondered for a moment if he should start with his cheeks or nose ? He traced the side of his face with the back of his index finger and imagined all of the incisions it would take for the angelic face to be replaced by a faceless and nameless red mess..Yes. He hated him. He loathed him even.

The whole house could have fallen to his charms, but he wouldn't. He could see who he truly was and even though, when Peter clutched to him even tighter—he didn't pull away.

How dared he abandon everything Morgan had ever wished for, and pretend to be one of them ?

But, when Peter unconsciously reached for him in his sleep, he let his knife clatter to the floor to hold him.

Peter's POV :

Peter's saliva felt like burning hot lava in his mouth and even though the urge to scream came again—it died in his throat because of the constant tears. He wished he could be like Kevin and feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. But, he did. He heard Ava calling him—blaming him for everything and it hurt.

He knew he wouldn't find any comfort from anyone. He had sent Hannibal Sr. to prison and his own mother hated him..He was a monster. However, he did feel arms wrap around him from behind and a soft voice shush soothingly in his ear.

"Ssh..You are alright. Everything will be alright..Just breathe."

He didn't recognize the voice at first, he just instinctively followed its directive and started taking deep breathes. His eyelids fluttered open and he blinked several times before recognizing Morgan's face. He knew he should be worried and move away from him, but he couldn't help reeling in the comfort he was getting. He hid his own in the soft fabric of Morgan's coat and cried. He knew he shouldn't—he didn't deserve such kindness from the oldest Hannibal son..But, it didn't stop him from taking every ounce of compassion thrown his way. He was just so very tired..

"Don't..leave me.", Peter whimpered pathetically with his eyes closed and Morgan's jaw twitched. He hesitated before resting his arm on his shivering form. No matter how much he loathed him, he had to admit the parasite was convincing.

"I won't. Now, go back to sleep, parasite."

Peter smiled at the nickname. He didn't pity him. He was glad. He didn't want pity. Morgan saw more than just a boy, and Peter thrived under this unwholesome attention. Some would call him insane, but he found comfort in this lack of pretense. He was free. Free to be whoever he wanted. Free from Perfect Peter.

He was Peter Hannibal now..

And he would prove them. He would prove them all. He was going to best them all.

A few minutes later :

Kevin was surprised when he walked past Peter's bedroom to find the door wide open. He peaked inside and smiled when he saw Morgan holding the young boy's sleeping form.

"Soooo...You and Princess finally getting along, huh ?"

Morgan sent him such a dark glare, Kevin knew better than to insist and let out a small chuckle before waving them goodnight.

"Fine. See ya in the morning, grumpy pants."

#fandoms #imagine #fanfic #hannibal family #peter hannibal #hannibal sr.#hannibal jr #morgan hannibal #kevin hannibal

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shotorozu · 4 years ago

Text

you like their hands

character(s) : shinsou hitoshi, kirishima eijirou, monoma neito (2/?)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, quirk left unmentioned

post type : headcanons + small scenario [fluff, the mildest of spice] not even nsfw

note(s) : i was gonna put denki in this but i had a hard time thinking about what kinda hands he’d have, so i’m putting him in the next post

»»————-　♡　————-««

shinsou hitoshi

his hands are big, and his fingers are quite thick.

really likes wearing rings and bracelets, but he usually doesn’t wear them when he’s working (i’d say that bc wearing jewelry while doing physical activity HURTS)

regarding texture, his hands were initially soft— but due to transferring in the hero course, they roughened up over time

he’ll use hand cream if you want, but he doesn’t go the extra mile. and his nails are trimmed at all times. painting his nails a black color would be great once in a while.

lol i forgot to mention nails in the last post

he notices right away that you like his hands when he catches you staring at them when he’s cracking his knuckles

like.. people have said that his hands are nice, but he doesn’t really say much about them bc they’re not you

scenario

a crack sound is briefly heard in the rather silent room. the scrolling on your phone halts, and your eyes follow the sound of the crack.

ah, he’s cracking his knuckles. you think to yourself, and you’re left just simply admiring the way he applies pressure on a knuckle. who knew that his rather— large hand would look appealing, even while cracking his knuckles.

you snap out of your observation, but instead of just simply going back to whatever you were doing, you’re met with lilac eyes. “you were staring again.”

your cheeks heat up, and you opt to just turn your head to the opposite direction. “sorry,” you apologize. however— that’s not what hitoshi was looking for apparantly.

“if you like my hands alot,” he scoots next to you, hands sliding up and down your arms— his firm grip practically making the pre existing butterflies in your stomach act up again. “then you should’ve said so, kitty.”

is he conscious of his actions? hm. you could say that

he’ll purposely play with his capture tool right in front of you— the material wrapping around his hand. and he can only laugh when you immediately get absorbed into it

the back of his hand will brush against your cheek. then, when he comes in to kiss you, he’ll cup your cheek— kissing you with his other hand resting at your nape

under the table, his hand will start to slide against yours, interlocking hands with you. he’ll act like nothing is happening, but on the inside— he’s taking in your reaction

a little spicy, but when he wants you to look at him— he’ll do that thing where his thumb brushed against your bottom lip, as it almost dips right into your mouth

if he feels a little extra, his hand will also be tugging on your hair (if you’re fine with that. otherwise, he’s sticking to the one above)

oh and he also does that thing where he rests his hand on your neck, thick fingers squeezing your throat lightly.

overall— THIS MAN omg, he’ll entertain your interest in his hand nicely, just for you. and every single thing he does is memorable

kirishima eijirou

his hands are quite normal regarding size, they are almost always veiny, a lot more than bakugou’s actually. i think at some point he was concerned about them

his hands are rather flushed in color, but that’s because of his quirk. his fingers have a few tiny scars here and there,

he occasionally has pen marks on his wrists due to bad penmanship, and his nails.. don’t look the best, but they’re not the worst it’s bc of his quirk

the palms of his hands are ridden with callouses. but he wears them with pride because it’s the pure evidence of his hard work with his training.

but he starts to get worried about them when he goes to hold your hand.

you always had a thing for kirishima’s hands, but you just never had the chance to tell him that. i guess asking you did it for him

scenario

did you even realize how hard you were staring at his hands right now? it happened every single time he enlaced his arms around you, his hands resting at the sides of your arms

at first, he thought it might’ve been because his hands are too rough, or you might’ve been in discomfort— because maybe, just maybe, he accidentally activated his quirk?

the fact that he can’t exactly tell what it is worried him, maybe he should just ask you.

but his worry washed off when you told him upfront that you ‘liked his hands’

“wait so.. you’re staring at my hands because you like them?” kirishima wants to confirm your words, and— so casually, by the way— nod in agreement.

tracing the veins on his hands, you elaborate “your hands are really nice, i can tell how hard you must’ve worked.” pressing your smaller hand against his, you smile.

eijirou takes a moment to process it, but it’s surprisingly quick. “oh t-thanks!” he sheepishly took the compliment, a small blush sporting on his cheeks. “i’m glad it wasn’t because you thought they were weird.”

kirishima unintentionally feeds your interest with his hands. like sometimes.. he’s just not aware of it, but yes— he is feeding your interest well

will always make you compare hand sizes with him, chuckling softly at the dazed look on your face when your palms touch

if you allow him, he’ll fix your hair for you. doesn’t matter what hair type you have, he’ll do LOTS of research to know how to style it

those hands are magical

if you get a papercut, or a wound from cooking— he’ll patch you up, then he’ll press a kiss on the bandaid.

he’ll do this thing where he’ll squeeze your sides when you pull in for a hug. but if you’re not okay with that, he’ll opt to just rubbing your back with his hand— rocking you softly as he hugs you

a little spicy, but his hands do wander a lot. you might need to even hold them in place to make sure they don’t go too wild

in addition to that, he’ll just SLIGHTLY, activate his quirk to make sure you’re conscious of his touch. his finger tips gliding against your back, sending shivers down your spine.

but of course, he’s careful. he doesn’t activate it to the point it causes scratch marks, nor will his actions draw blood. he doesn’t wanna do that

in short— kirishima’s a little clueless at first. he wouldn’t really tease you in public, but he’s surprisingly attentive to your interest.

monoma neito

his hands are on the tipping edge of slightly above average. he doesn’t have a lot of veins on his hands, but they do pop out depending on what quirk he’s using

monoma’s hands are pretty spotless of any scars (from cuts, abrasions, etc.) because he gets REALLY annoyed with wounds pretty easily

to the point he’d want to attend to the wound immediately, he doesn’t let them sit— it’s just a personal preference

his nails are at the perfect length. not too long and not too short to the point it hurts, you don’t know how he does it.

wears watches on his wrists, and not the digital type— he sorta acts like he can read it easily, but it takes him a few seconds to even get to know the time

you know this because kendo snitched on him and told you LOL

you secretly hate yourself for this, but you really like his hands because of how he takes care of them. you’d never tell monoma even though you’re dating him

scenario

you’re unsure of yourself on how your boyfriend— monoma, found out about your fascination with his hands. it was supposed to be a secret for the rest of your life, and you only remember talking about it once out loud

which you assumed was a close call, considering that you thought he didn’t hear it at all— but he did.

“so i heard you like my hands, huh Y/N?” monoma’s teasing tone does not aid the situation. your cheeks heat up with embarassment, and you can’t get yourself to answer his question— without sounding like a fool anyway.

you fake annoyance, “where’d that come from?” you ask, and monoma doesn’t seem to want to switch the topic

“i’m asking you a question, dear Y/N— i heard you like my hands,” his tone would’ve sounded condescending to any other person, but you can tell that he’s either genuinely curious

or just teasing you, because that’s how he is.

to aid his question, he brushes his fingers along your neck— near your pulse. you jolt, stunned by the sudden action— heart beating rapidly against your chest.

“see,” monoma presses his hand against your chest, where your heart is palpitating, grinning in a way that’s teasing you “it’s true, isn’t it? sweet Y/N has a thing for my hands, hm?”

you furrow your eyebrows, and flick his forehead— and he hisses in reaction, “fine then, i do like your hands.” you finally give in, admitting final defeat.

ever since then, you haven’t heard the end of it

definitely that person that’ll just randomly bring it up to you, no matter what hour of the day it is.

“oh Y/N, you were totally fawning over my hands earlier—”

“i will castrate you.”

you know he means well most of the time, but sometimes he just loves teasing the heck out of you.

but that doesn’t mean he neglects your obvious interest in his hands.

he’ll compliment you, he’s a snarky person in general— but to you, he’s totally smooth with it.

slides his hand from your forearm to your hands, only to bring them up to his lips, pressing a kiss against your hand

squeezes your hand everytime he sees you, it’s kind of a nonverbal greeting at this point

similar to kirishima, he likes comparing hand sizes— teasing you about the size difference (even if it’s not even a big of a difference, he’ll take that chance.)

does this thing where he rubs his thumb against his palm. does it a lot when he’s concentrated about something, or just out of the blue

a little spicy, but he’ll make you tell him what you like about his hands, and what you like about the things he does with those hands of his. if that makes sense

he wants all of the details, doesn’t care if it’s mundane, or things he does when he’s feeling a certain way.

he wants to know, because as soon as you’re done with your spewl, he’ll do exactly what you like, teasing you while he’s at it. and so he can start incorporating those habits whenever he’s around you.

totally someone that’ll make you suck on those fingers. oh, but he’ll purposely get some dessert on them— asking you to suck them off

“good grief, i got some dessert on my fingers again. Y/N, come suck them off”

sometimes he’s serious, sometimes he’s just teasing.

overall— it’s pretty adventurous. he starts to act on it as soon as the revelation is revealed to him.

but i’d say he does just fine.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, translate, repost, or use my work for audio readings without my consent :))

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tartglias · 4 years ago

Text

diluc, kaeya, albedo and childe when they’re in love

“ahh ok i just discovered ur blog and this is my very first ever request to a blog. so uhm can i req diluc, kaeya, albedo & childe headcanons on what they'll do when they're in love? like, will their attitude change when they're around the reader HAHAHA it's ok if u remove a character <3 if u don't want to write it feel free to ignore hehe”

Diluc

Even though you both decided to keep the relationship away from the public eye, it’s not shocking that certain people come and ask if you can deliver a message to Diluc. It tends to be Kaeya or even Jean, whenever the Knights of Favonius are too busy to handle something a little too dangerous. Sometimes it’s even Venti, trying to persuade you to convince Diluc to lower the dandelion wine price.

Whoever the person is, they come to you because they know that Diluc has a soft spot for you. If something catches your eye, expect it on your doorstep the following day. He loves to spoil you, to the point in which you have to tell him to stop gifting you things, and that his love is and will always be enough.

And obviously, they know that if someone can convince him of doing something, that someone is you. It’s amusing how the normal situation switches when it comes to you. If Kaeya approaches him and asks for a favor, expect a very angry Diluc rolling his eyes and turning around, completely dismissing him while trying to not make a scene in front of you and the other costumers at the tavern. But, if it’s you who delivers the message, he just sighs and meditates it, eventually giving in. You see him smile slightly once you quickly kiss his cheek and thank him.

“Why do you always decline these requests but accept them once I ask you?” You once asked, looking up to face him as you cuddled him in bed. His hair was messy and untied, but he still looked beautiful, specially under the moon light.

“Because you’re not annoying” he simply said, caressing your cheek. You stared at him, unconvinced. This earned you a soft laugh from the man beneath you.

“I don’t know, I just can’t say no to you. Which is funny because now everyone knows you’re my weakness” He said.

It was then and there that he understood how much you meant to him. You could ask him to pick up every single Cecilia flower in Mondstadt and he would not hesitate to do it. It was dangerous, and he knew that, but his feelings were too strong.

“Kaeya will definitely use this for-“ “I love you” he said, interrupting you. Your eyes widened and a small gasp left your lips. It was the first time he said the big “L” word, maybe the first time in his life.

“I love you too” you whispered, still in awe from his previous confession.

He kissed you deeper than ever before, transmitting every single feeling he had into the kiss. You meant the world to him. He was in love.

The rest of the night was filled with quiet “I love you”s and cuddles, eventually falling asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

Kaeya

One thing that helped him understand his feelings for you was that he could just be himself.

His past forced him to wake up and put on a facade as the flirty Cavalry Captain that had every person in Mondstadt wrapped around his finger. But you were different. When he was with you, he was Kaeya. No fancy titles, no social etiquette. Just Kaeya. Not only he felt comfortable enough to be himself around you, but you also seemed to like his true self as well. And that’s how he realized.

After long days filled with commissions and some paperwork, he would come home exhausted only to find you already waiting for him. Without need for words, he would wrap his arms around your waist and hide his face on your neck after leaving a small trace of kisses.

“Long day?” you asked as you gently hugged him, untied his hair and started brushing it with your fingers. He would reply with a small “hm” before looking up and kissing your lips.

This sight could confuse an outsider, since Kaeya, with his oh so flirty social title, is usually the one calling out for you or keeping his hands on you at any moment. Kaeya is not afraid to show his love to the world, and he makes that very clear in public. Yet, this sight made him look vulnerable, and that was something he reserved just for your eyes. You made his walls fall down, you made him vulnerable in the best way possible. He felt at peace when he was with you, and that feeling used to be so foreign to him due to the secrets of his past. But here he was, in your arms as he rambled about his day without care in the world.

His attitude towards you in public never changed much, always finding his way to make you swoon and fluster you. He loves to let everyone know that he is yours and you are his. But, once the doors close behind him, he would let his guard down completely with you. He would cling to your body as he seeks for advice or talk about his worries.

“I think that it’s best to ignore Pallad from now on since he always gets-“ you started saying, but noticing how Kaeya was looking at you made you lose your trail of thoughts. “Wh- Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You make me feel better about myself” Kaeya said, snuggling closer to you. He let out a chuckle when he heard you mutter a “huh?”

“You make me feel at peace, and I haven’t felt like that in a long while”

Albedo

Relationships were kind of new to Albedo, he wasn’t certain about the right way to show affection. But one thing he was sure about was that every time you came to visit him in his research room he felt funny inside. Funny in a good way, he felt a sudden urge to hold your hand or make you smile.

To understand this feeling more, he started doing research on couples in Mondstadt. Was he the only one that felt this way at the sight of someone he cherished? Or was this the beginning of him becoming a monster and destroying the city of freedom at last? Lucky for him, he realized that it was considered normal to smile whenever you see your s/o.

While he was doing his research, Klee appeared holding one of her treasures. She wanted to show Albedo her newest creation, but instead she found him staring at some old couple sitting by a fountain. She thought it was a strange sight. “What are you doing?” she asked, startling him. “Research” he simply said. “On old people? Why don’t you do a research on me? I’m young! And I have treasures!” “I don’t think you can be of use in this research” he said, sighing.

It took Klee a while to understand what was happening, but when she did she started giggling uncontrollably. Albedo just stared at her wondering what was wrong with the child. “Albedo are you in love?”

Love, such a strange concept. He read about it, and now that Klee mentioned it, he realized that it made sense. He felt funny every time he managed to make you smile or laugh, and even more when he saw the blush on your face after complimenting you. He realized that the “funny” feeling happened because he loves you. He loves when you visit him, he loves when you ask him questions about his research and when you offer to help him. He loves you.

He immediately started searching for you, he felt the sudden urge to see and tell you about this discovery. Once he found you, he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face. You looked beautiful, and you weren’t even trying. You just came back from a commission and your hair was messy, and he noticed that your clothes were a bit dirty too. Yet you looked mesmerizing to him.

“Albedo! I was on my way to visit you!” You greeted him once you saw him, kissing his cheek.

“I made a new discovery today, dear.” He said, taking your hands in his. “I discovered that I’m in love with you”

Childe

If there’s something Childe is gonna do, is spoil you to no end. Similar to Diluc, if he noticed that something caught your eye for more than 3 seconds, expect it by your doorstep soon. And don’t even try to stop him, he just won’t listen.

Since he has to go away for weeks due to his line of work, he wants to spoil you so you don’t forget him. Not that you could anyways, you always thought of him and even prayed for his safe return. When he comes back, expect little souvenirs from his travels and stories he may or may not exaggerate a tiny bit.

He loves whenever you wear things he gifted you, and loves to tease you about it. “May I know who got you that beautiful necklace dear?” he would ask with a smirk on his face. “You, Childe” “That’s right, the best for my favorite person in the world”

But his love doesn’t come in material things only, he also loves to spend time with you. There are times that he has to go away for long periods of time, and after a few weeks he starts missing you so much he just has to send someone to pick you up and bring you to him. On those occasions he makes sure to do everything he has to do in the morning so he could spend the afternoon exploring with you.

His line of work is dangerous, and you know that. There are times in which you’re exploring some ruins with him and treasure hoarders appear. In those cases he asks you to close your eyes, and only open them when he tells you to. Under no circumstance he wants you to witness this side of him he tries so much to hide.

Once it’s over, he would reach to you gently and tell you to open your eyes. When you do, the sight in front of you breaks your heart. He was alright, not a single scratch on him, but his face was filled with worry and fear. “I’m sorry” he would say, closing his eyes and taking your hand. “Why are you apologizing?” “I’m a monster” he said, not daring to look at you.

It would take you a few minutes to convince him that he actually is not a monster. Those treasure hoarders appeared out of nowhere, and threatened you. He was just protecting you. “This is what I do all the time, how are you not scared of me?” He asked. You hugged him very tight, not wanting to let go of him until every drop of fear and guilt leaves his body. “I know you would never hurt me”

He knew you were right, he could never hurt you. He may think he is a monster unworthy of your love, but he knew that he could never lay a finger on you. And as you hugged him tight in front of some random ruins you were exploring, he realized he was in love and swore to himself he would do anything to protect you.

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kimabutch · 4 years ago

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On butchness in the Locked Tomb Trilogy

So I started reading Gideon the Ninth as an act of Butch Self Care (TM), having encountered almost no butch lesbian protagonists ever, and despite my high expectations, I can honestly say I was super impressed. I feel deeply represented in a way I rarely have and that I’m struggling to articulate.

A tiny moment that struck me fairly early on was the narrator describing Gideon as “emasculated” by a favour that “Dulcinea” asks her to do — I suddenly realized that I’d never (to my recollection) seen a book use that adjective for a woman before. I mean, most fiction I’ve encountered is hesitant to call women masculine (and even more rarely as a positive or value-neutral term), even when they’re discussing butches, many of whom, though not all, consider ourselves masculine.

And “emasculated” feels like a step further — not simply an acknowledgement of a butch’s masculinity, but of her experiences with masculinity, how her masculinity affects moments that outwardly have nothing to do with her gender presentation. I don’t think the feeling of being emasculated is necessarily a emotion worth cultivating — it’s usually a product of insecurity, of worrying that a small action could take away one’s masculinity — but it is something that a young butch might feel, something many of us do feel at times!

That moment, though very short, felt so honest and true and reflective of the series’s approach to butchness: completely unafraid of portraying the real and messy thoughts of a young butch lesbian, while also completely respectful of her identity. It gracefully walks the line between shamelessly portraying her sexuality and not falling into the old ‘predatory butch’ stereotypes — Gideon is super horny and loves a good sex joke, but also is incredibly respectful and careful of bodily and romantic boundaries, to the point of literally running to apologize when she thinks she’s flirted with a woman in a relationship and promising to take fully clothed showers in Harrow’s body.

Similarly, Muir has no qualms about describing Gideon as physically strong, tough, and proud of it, while obviously not making this her only character trait, and also portraying her swordfighting as a legitimate art and talent — Gideon literally does study the blade, and Harrow notes how Gideon analyzes and understands swordfights in a way she absolutely does not comprehend.

And in that vein (heh) of balance, the series also lets Gideon have the frankly Butch Mood of wanting to be useful, wanting to care for and defend those she loves — while also letting her be cared for, wanted, reassured, and protected. This happens in the first book (I will be crying forever about Palamedes trying to convince Gideon that she’s not responsible for Harrow’s parents’ suicide), but struck me even more in the second, which revolves around Harrow’s silent, unaware yearning for Gideon.

Every butch I’ve ever talked to about this has struggled with the idea of being wanted —the idea that any woman could want us, especially want us as ourselves, without having to tone down our butchness. So I can’t tell you how emotional it made me to read an entire book about a woman’s desire — need — for her butch. About the overwhelmingness of her grief at losing Gideon, so much that she cuts her from her brain to cope with the pain. So much that she’s undone without her, even unconsciously. To see a butch being the object of desire — not just sexual/physical desire, though it’s clear that that’s there from Harrow’s fantastic coffeeshop AU, but soul-shattering romantic yearning — it just fucks me up beyond belief. It’s really, really good, and honestly just thinking about it makes my heart feel so full.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but just — thank you Tamsyn Muir. Thank you so much.

#locked tomb #butch #my stuff #meta #book adventures

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angryschnauzer · 3 years ago

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Undercover Honeymoon

Summary; Having survived a helicopter crash that killed off the gang you and your senior agent had infiltrated, you hide out from the storm that brought the aircraft down by pretending to be Honeymooners at a boutique hotel... but what will 24 hours with August Walker bring you? Trouble, that’s what, and the best possible kind.

Pairing: August Walker x Female Reader (no race or body type specified)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Smut, honestly this is entirely smut, its a crack fic too. Sigh, here goes: face slap, murder, August in a hoodie and grey sweatpants, oral sex (female recieving), blowjob, drunken antics, impared judgement, titty fucking, fingering, unprotected sex, anal sex, inappropriate lube, multiple orgasms, dubious consent, choking, dom-vibes, Sugar Daddy arrangement (but no Daddy kink).

I do not run a tag list, but if you go and follow @angryschnauzerwrites and hit notifications, you’ll get an alert to any new stories i post. All previous fics can be found on there or on my Ao3

Undercover Honeymoon

The helicopter spiralled out of control, the tall pines looming through the storm of the century rain, screaming filled your ears, unsure if it was the sound of the engines failing or coming from your own lungs. The aircraft made contact with the trees and everything went black.

“Agent… AGENT!” a slap across your face sprang you from your unconscious state, your vision blurred and you winced at the sharp pain that shot through your temple as the face before you came into focus.

“Walker?” you muttered; “Can’t blow our cover…”

Strong arms gripped your shoulders;

“Wake UP! Everyone else is dead”

The next hour was surreal. Agent Walker - your superior officer - had pulled you from the wreckage of the helicopter, past the lifeless bodies of the gang you’d infiltrated, some of which had injuries that looked suspiciously like gunshot wounds. Either way you were alive and so was the other undercover agent, and having spent the last four days running bank robberies you were relieved to be rid of the brutal gang.

Agent Walker had half dragged half carried you through the forest, and even though it was the middle of the day, the torrential rain and dark storm clouds above made the way feel like you were travelling at twilight. When you stumbled on some roots he caught you, his arm firmly around your waist;

“C’mon Agent, not much further now…” his voice softer than usual, reassuring even.

“Where’re we going?”

“Out of season ski lodge… should be quiet this time of year, just a couple of wildlife watchers no doubt”

What you’d been expecting was a cute little place with checkered curtains and cutesy decor, what you’d arrived at was a luxury boutique hotel. Agent Walker had managed to spin a very convincing tale of your car leaving the highway due to the weather and he’d arrange to get it recovered after the storm so you could continue your ‘honeymoon’. The receptionist had smiled warmly and offered the pair of you the luxury suite, August merrily peeling $100 bills off a stack he’d produced from his pocket, the paper band that held them together from the robbery slyly crumpled up and you quietly picked it up from the floor, a tiny smirk on the corner of his face when he spotted you covering his rare mistake.

Ten minutes later you were settled in your shared room, starting to peel yourself out of your soaked boots and clothing as you eyed the enormous bathroom and ultra fluffy robes that were provided.

“I’m going to go to the gift shop…” he announced, breaking the silence; “They do hoodies and stuff, i’ll grab some dry things to change into…”

“Thanks Agent Walker… I’m going to take a bath…”

He nodded quietly, standing at the door;

“It’s August… call me August”

You must have fallen asleep in the bath, as the next thing you know there is an insistent knocking on the bathroom door;

“Honey? Honey, everything ok in there?”

“Y-yes, Sorry, fell asleep…”

“Ok Honey, just got room service here delivering some lunch”

“Thanks Aug… Augie…”

Augie? Where the hell did that come from? You mentally chastised yourself. An hour ago he was your senior agent and all round grumpy supervisor, now he was ‘Augie’? You actually facepalmed yourself before taking a deep breath and climbing out of the bath. A few moments later once you were dry, wearing the fluffy robe you stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, your breath catching in your throat;

“Augie… we have company?”

Agent Walker was standing in the middle of the room in his shirt, underwear and socks, talking to the room service attendant as he tipped the young man;

“Darling, lunch is here, you must be famished” he let a warm smile spread over his face as he turned to the staff member; “We must have a bite to eat… expending lots of energy, it is our honeymoon after all…”

Once he’d ushered the man out of the room he cleared his throat and his expression dropped, his face serious again;

“I got your new attire… it fits more with the location” he motioned for you to follow him to the bed where there were a number of things laid out, however your feet were rooted to the floor; “What?”

“You’re… you’re in your underwear…”

He looked down, almost in shock to discover he was without his cargo pants;

“Yes? And you’re completely naked beneath that fetching white robe” he motioned to a side of the bed where a bunch of things were sat on the pristine white duvet; “So unless you wish to eat lunch having me know you are naked save for a glorified towel with sleeves - and that would be a delightful thought - you may want to get changed whilst i shower”

Without another word he smirked, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief and grabbed a pile of clothing on the bed, before sauntering into the bathroom, leaving you open jawed at both his sassiness and his tight ass in snug jersey boxers.

Turning back to what was laid on the bed you looked over what he’d managed to get in the hotel’s boutique; a daringly short floral summer dress, a hoodie with the Hotel’s logo on, a pack of novelty thong panties also with bears on, and the highest heeled wedge sandals you’d ever seen. Although none of this surprised you, it was after all the kind of hotel where in good weather, the rich and famous could have cocktails on the deck as they overlooked the Rocky mountains, the fact he’d managed to find your exact size in everything was impressive.

Leaving the heels off for now, you pull the panties and dress on, throwing the hoodie on unzipped to cover up a little, before going to investigate the food, realising that you probably hadn’t eaten for close to 24 hours. You were bent over the service trolley scrutinising the various dishes that had been delivered when you heard his voice;

“Huh, didn’t need to buy you a wallet, those tiny panties show off your silken purse beautifully Princess”

Spinning around you gasped, about to give him a piece of your mind but your train of thought stopped like a record scratch. There before you stood Agent August Walker, grey sweats hanging dangerously low on his hips, chest bare as he pulled a khaki green hoodie over his still damp curls. You noticed how his beard was a little beyond stubble, his mustache curling as a small smile tugged as his lips. Your gaze unashamedly ran down the length of his entire body, emphasis on length as it was clear he was without any underwear, and those rumours that were quietly whispered in the ladies room at the Pentagon were looking to be true as to exactly why they called him ‘The Hammer’.

Still holding a cooling French Fry he sauntered over to you before grabbing a sandwich from the platter;

“My apologies… that was inappropriate” he took a bite, before talking with his mouth full; “Been a crazy 24 hours huh?”

“Y-yeah, you could say that… so, what’s the plan?”

Just at that moment an incredible gust of wind rattled the windows to the point you thought they would blow in, the lights overhead flickered before settling back to bright as he answered;

“Eat, Drink, Sleep. We’re stuck here at least overnight. We don’t have any cells or electronics people can trace, and having checked the map this is not the closest civilisation to the crash site so even if people did come looking for us, this isn’t the first place they’d think of… however in this weather the roads are impassable, at least two rivers have breached their banks, we’re basically cut off from the rest of the world here in our own little bubble” he took a bite of sandwich before grinning at you; “So eat up, the bar downstairs is well stocked, dinner is apparently served in about 4 hours, and there’s a game room if you’re up for a round or two of pool…”

Giggling you both tumbled into your suite, August flicking the light switch up and down before realising the power had gone out at the exact moment he’d unlocked the door;

“Oooh dark… are you afraid of the dark Princess?”

The pair of you stumbled and turned, pushing the door shut and you found yourself pressed between it and August’s body, his lips finding your neck as he pressed kisses along your jugular, his facial hair leaving behind a trail of tingling skin in its wake;

“Depends who i’m in the dark with…”

He was so close, in the faint last traces of daylight as the storm took hold of the night you could see the outline of his face, how his long eyelashes rested against his cheeks as he closed his eyes, his breath warm on your skin as you were surrounded by his scent, pine soap and single malt whiskey;

“A monster…”

“I was never afraid of monsters…”

He dropped to his knees in front of you, pressing a kiss to your clothed stomach before his hands were beneath the skirt and pulling your novelty panties down;

“Hold your dress up Princess, show me that pretty pussy”

Doing as he told you, you gripped the pretty fabric in your hands as he hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, pressing kisses to your inner thighs before his thick fingers parted your folds and he dived in. His mustache and light beard pricked at your sensitive skin, but his tongue and lips soothed your aching core, desperate for attention and dripping with need as he went to town on you. He quickly brought you to orgasm before pushing you on for the next, his fingers now knuckle deep in your velvet walls, curling just right to find that spot that had you dripping, his tongue working against your clit to the point where you had to steady yourself by curling one hand through his soft chestnut curls, riding his face as you cried out his name.

Now over sensitive, you pulled his curls to get him to relent, a grunt of frustration coming from between your thighs;

“Augie… please… too sensitive…”

He quickly stood, lifting you to kiss you roughly, his tongue pushing into your mouth and you could taste yourself on his tongue as he gripped your ass as he carried you across the room before unceremoniously dropping you on the bed;

“Strip” he commanded as he staggered to the bathroom.

You ignored his request, instead reaching for a bottle of water at the side of the bed, taking a drink from he as he returned holding a bottle;

“August… what’s that?”

He looked down at the bottle, almost surprised he was holding something and blinked a few times before looking back at you;

“Baby oil. Its... Baby oil”

“Why do you have Baby oil?” you asked, already knowing the answer but with a sly streak wanting to get him to admit it

“Because they didn’t sell condoms in the gift shop so i cant fuck your pussy because i can’t check to see if you’re on birth control” he blurted out quickly.

Whatever you had been expecting, it hadn’t been that, and as you coughed on the water you had been about to drink, August got distracted and moved to light the candles that sat on the table in the centre of the room now that the only available light was the tiny light over the sink in the bathroom that was battery operated. You watched as he somehow managed to strike the matches and light the candles even though he was visibly drunk, before returning back to the bed and standing over you;

“Why aren’t you naked?” he frowned at you; “Don’t make me rip that pretty little dress off of you Princess”

Shimmying out of your dress you bit your lip as you watched him watching you, the low light dancing over your body and enough for you to see the obscene bulge barely contained by his sweatpants. He stood at the edge of the bed, towering over you before he took hold of your ankles and roughly pulled you to the edge of the bed before he pulled the grey sweats down and you finally got sight of his legendary hammer;

“Fuck…”

“We’ll get to that Princess, but first, suck”

Taking him in your hands he was hot and throbbing at your touch, his thick shaft patterned with veins, heavy and virile. You pumped your fist, your fingers unable to meet as you worked his uncut dick. You felt his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer until you had no choice but to open your mouth and take him as deep as you could, gagging as he immediately hit the back of your throat and started to fuck your mouth.

Holding your head in place with both hands he rocked his hips back and forth, groaning as he stretched your lips almost uncomfortably. Soon you had spit running down your chin as he rained down a stream of degrading compliments;

“Cock hungry slut, look at you with my dick in your mouth… does it taste good, Jesus christ your tongue is perfect, yeah do that thing again, fuck, i can feel your throat tight around me…” with a gasp he pulled out, a trail of spittle hanging from your lips to his angry red tip, before he grabbed the baby oil and pushed you back until you were laying flat on the bed;

“Push your tits together, i’m gonna fuck them and cum all over your pretty face”

He climbed on the bed, straddling your lower torso as you found yourself pushing your breasts together. The click of a bottle of baby oil and it was being poured in the valley of your chest, before he settled his dick against the slick skin. He dropped the bottle and with a grunt pulled his hoodie over his head, revealing his glorious chest, covered in dark hair and thicker than you had realised.

His dick was heavy against your chest as he took your hands in his and showed you how he wanted you to hold your titties for him, rocking his hips bath and forth as his hot flesh slipped through your soft pillows, the angry tip poking out at your neck with each thrust;

“So fucking pretty, gonna cum all over that face… you wanna taste my cum you little slut? Yeah? Cock hungry slut, can’t get enough of my dick, can you?”

You didn’t answer, the lust in his eyes making you drunk with desire, instead you tipped your head to your chest and opened your mouth, letting August’s dick slide into your mouth, the salty tang of his precum hitting your senses.

His thrusts were becoming rough and violent, his hips squeezing your ribcage as he fought back against the urge to cum, but you wanted it, needed it;

“August, will you cum on my face, pretty please?” you batted your eyelashes at him innocently and it was the final straw, and you watched as he threw his head back and thick ropes of his creamy seed spurted over your mouth and cheeks as he groaned so deliciously. On the last spurt you leaned forwards and took his tip into your mouth, gently laving your tongue over the leaking slit, before releasing him softly. August had eased his gasp on your tits, and using his thick finger he scooped the cum from your cheek;

“Open wide Princess”

Sticking your tongue out you sucked the bitter treat from his finger, before he repeated it with the other cheek. Finally swallowing you grinned at him;

“Thank you August”

His hand paused on your cheek, softly cupping it;

“Anything for you Princess… now scoot up the bed, i wanna eat that pussy again whilst i get you ready for my dick”

He swung his leg over so you could wriggle up the bed, and immediately he was laying between your legs, both of your thighs over his shoulders as he started to sloppily eat you out again, except this time his lubed fingers strayed to your asshole and he already had one knuckle deep in your back entrance. You were writhing against his tongue, and although not as accurate with his targets this time now that the alcohol in his system was taking hold, that wide tongue was driving you to heaven as his fingers pulled you down into the dark pits of depravity that hell could only contain. You were uttering almost incomprehensible gibberish, begging for more which he eagerly gave, a second and soon a third finger stretching your ass as he prepared you for what was yet to come. You came with a scream as his wide tongue tormented your pussy until you had to physically pull him by his curls to stop, breathless as you watched him kneel on the bed and grab the baby oil, pouring some onto his hand to lube his dick before smoothing a considerable amount over your asshole and lined up his now raging hard on with your stretched hole. He paused, looking down at you;

“Final chance to back out… do you want me to fuck your ass?”

“Yes… please August, i want your dick in my ass, i want you to cum in my ass, treat me like a dirty anal slut”

With a groan he pushed forwards, slowly breaching your body and you felt the uncomfortable stretch of having a dick slide into your ass. Even with the prep and the oil it still took a while for your body to relax enough for him to push in, but when he eventually was balls deep in your ass you felt so full you were sure you would burst;

“Oh my god… You’re so big…”

“Taking me like a champ Princess, even with the oil your ass is so fucking tight i’m struggling not to blow my load right here and now”

“Fuck my ass August, do it hard, i wanna feel it in the morning…”

With a roar he started to fuck into you, holding himself up on his massive arms as his hips pistoned into you, filling your barren depths as his pubic bone rubbed against your empty pussy and your juices flooded his crotch;

“So fucking wet Princess, leaking all down your ass, its only adding to the lube so i can fuck you harder. Your poor little battered asshole, you’re barely gonna be able to sit tomorrow… apart from back on my dick as we have breakfast, don’t think this is the only time i’m gonna fuck your ass, i’m gonna use this hole until you’re loose and stretched, so i can just bend you over and slide my dick into your ass. Gonna hide those stupid panties i bought you, i want you walking around bare, my cum dripping down your legs where there’s so much inside you, you can barely keep it inside… shame the gift shop didn’t sell plugs, i woulda’ filled you with my load and have you plugged and ready lubed for me to use whenever i pleased…”

August’s dirty talk had you cumming hard, squeezing him tight and yet he fucked you straight through it. Laying limp as he continued to fill your ass he slowed and moved, kneeling on the bed as he moved your legs from either side of his lips until both your feet were over one of his shoulders, pushing and pulling you until he had one arm firmly wrapped around your knees and he could fuck into your ass as he held you like a rag doll. The new position was tighter, deeper, and as you started to pant out with lust his free hand rested on your throat, squeezing carefully but firmly;

“Harder…” you panted out, your head swimming as your airway was restricted, and as he pounded into your ass you were both getting close.

“Gonna cum in your ass, fill you up with a massive load, you want that Princess?”

You tried to say yes, but all that came out was a tiny croak as his massive hand gripped your throat. Before you could even try again your orgasm hit, your eyes rolling back in their sockets as you squirted, your body gripping him so tight he reached his peak, pushing in as deep as he could as he pumped your ass full of his cum.

August released his grip on your neck, pulling out gently as he softly lay your legs on the bed;

“Did so well Princess, such a good little slut…”

You could only hum out a response, your mind as used as your body was.

You woke to the sound of soft rain falling against the window, peering out from beneath the duvet you could see that the grey light of morning was filling the room, the storm seemingly blown mostly through with just a persistent rain now dampening the earth. Shifting on the bed you winced, everything was sore, but especially your ass. But then a warm body pressed to your back, a large hand smoothed over your stomach and a familiar voice spoke softly in your ear as stubble brushed against your bare shoulders;

“Rise and shine…”

“Hmmmmm no, i don’t wanna get up” you grumbled

“But…”

“Noooo. If we get up then we’ve got to think about things going back to normal, i just wanna pretend i’m able to stay in a hotel as nice as this when i’m not trying to escape a dangerous gang… too many responsibilities, too much stress… i just want another half hour of being treated like a Princess” you grumbled.

A quiet chuckle came from behind you;

“There’s no reason why we can’t do this again”

Turning in his arms, you looked at August;

“How? You’re my superior Agent, the CIA pushes and pushes and pushes, I never get enough time off to do something like this, If i had known i was literally signing my life away i would never have signed up for the academy. What’s the fucking use of earning a good wage if i can never enjoy it… and its not even that good of a wage to be honest…” you paused and narrowed your gaze; “Have you showered?”

“Yes. And i have a proposition for you…”

“Keep talking…”

August started to move, slowly climbing between your legs and you felt his hard dick resting against your folds, your pussy instinctively growing wet, slowly rubbing against you as he smiled down at you;

“As a senior agent i get a considerably better wage than you do, but i don’t have anyone to share it with, anyone to treat like a Princess and spoil with gifts that they deserve… but i also want someone that will be agreeable to my darkest desires…” he rocked his hips back before slowly parting his thighs, and you felt the nudge of his tip at your soaked pussy; “... someone, a woman i can treat like a Princess but will let me fuck them like a whore… can i fuck your pussy like a whore?”

The gentle nudge of his dick just stretching the ring of muscle that granted access to the heaven between your legs had you begging, pleading to be August’s Whore. He let out a sigh of pleasure as he slowly sank into your pussy, bare and unprotected filling you with his virile shaft;

“You’re my Slutty Princess…taking my dick like a pro”

In that hotel room August Walker became your sugar Daddy, and over room service breakfast you agreed the details of your arrangement as you sat on his lap, his dick in your ass as he fed you strawberries, before he grew impatient and bounced you on his dick until he came in your barren depths. Resting back against his chest, his softening dick still inside you he played with your pussy as he discussed the next step, trying to decide if a trip to an adult store or a jewellery store should be the first stop after returning to DC;

“How about a jewelled plug?” you suggested; “That’s the best of both worlds”

Holding your jaw he turned your head so he could kiss you, pulling away and grinning;

“See, that’s why you’re the perfect Princess, smart and sexy…”

You felt him start to harden in your ass again, wriggling and letting out a giggle as you felt him stretch your insides;

“Over the table or out on the balcony in the rain?” you asked

“Oooh lets do the balcony… its check out time so a few other guests will be able to see my little slut have her battered asshole filled with another load”

There on the balcony that overlooked the serene mountains August filled your ass again, your naked bodies soaked with the rain as he gripped your breasts whilst he fucked you from behind.

You couldn’t wait to be August’s play thing.

#august walker #august walker x reader #august walker smut #henry cavill

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superfics-forone · 3 years ago

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Just Friends

SUMMARY: Sam asks the group who they think are the “hottest” members of the team. You don’t make the cute for Bucky’s top five.

Bucky x TALL!Reader

W/C: 5,800

WARNINGS: angst, swearing (like two f bombs), cannon level violence, Bucky being an idiot (it’s a warning), physical insecurities, fake science

A/N: I wrote this because the top 5 situation actually happened to me IRL and when you don’t make someone you like’s list, it sucks. Also, this is in no way meant as being against people who are smaller! I am just a tall/plus size woman and sometimes that really makes you feel like you’re unattractive to people because you don’t fit the gender norm. Let me know what you think! I’m pretty new at this so I’d appreciate the feedback!

Also, HUGE shout out to @princessmisery666 for being so patient and supportive! Thank you for being my beta! Your comments were so incredibly helpful!

The best part about working with Bucky was that you got to see him everyday. The worst part was that you were constantly reminded that he wasn’t attracted to you.

You knew you were a good looking woman, people would often tell you that. It usually happened when you weren’t necessarily feeling your prettiest. Somehow that made it worse. Others would compliment you but he never would. Even when you knew you looked good- like you had put in extra effort and actually tried that day- still he would give you nothing.

You sat across from him in the common room looking at all the other Avengers wondering why he didn’t feel the same when you finally got your answer.

“Alright man,” Sam called out to the group. “Top five, let’s go.”

“Top five?” asked Clint, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. “Top five what?”

Everyone looked back to Sam, - “Top five on who you think is lookin’ most fine”.

“You want us to rate each other?” You asked incredulously.

“Naw, man!” Sam replied. “I want to know who you think are the top five most attractive! Male and female!”

You slunk back into the sofa, both curious and terrified of the conversation to come.

You heard huffs from the others but no one objected. Vision went first and of course he could only answer with; “I believe all of you are inherently lovely. I couldn’t possibly pick a top five of those who I find to be most attractive.” As soon as he finished and the room was no longer focused on him though he leaned over to Wanda and said something in her ear that made her blush.

You brought your cup up to your lips to hide your smile. You loved how happy they were after having been through so much heartbreak.

Sam went next, “Imma say, Wanda, Nat, Gamora’s got it goin’ on…for an alien…Hill - don’t tell her I said that- and…Y/N,” he said throwing you a wink.

You smiled but shook your head with a roll of your eyes. You knew the only reason he said your name was because you were in the room. He was trying to be kind. Men didn’t seem to be actively lining up to be with you…it might have something to do with them being intimidated by you being an Avenger but who could possibly know

“Sam you would think anything with legs that gave you the time of day was hot,” Bucky shot.

The others laughed but Sam shot back, “alright, Tin Man, who’s on your list? Okoye?”

“Yeah for one! I would be dead before I could make a move but sure! She’s dangerous and stunning!” He took a swig of bourbon as if he was done.

“Alright then who else?” Wanda leaned forward winking at you.

You shot her a warning look. You had only told her how you felt about Bucky once on a drunken night after finding out he had gone on date with another recruit. Jealousy had reared its ugly head and she could feel your angst that night. You had asked Wanda how; “A tiny little thing that would barely hold her own in the ring,” could possibly catch his eye. It was as if the only thing he saw you as was an ear to listen to his problems and a soldier he could rely on in the field. You had seen them together multiple times since then and every time it pained you more.

She was everything you weren’t. Barely five foot, two inches tall with a skinny frame to match, and a nicely formed backside. In reality you couldn’t be mad at Bucky. He deserved to be happy. He was your friend and you wanted that for him. You just wanted that particular happiness too.

“Okay, okay!” Bucky’s hands came up in surrender as he finished his drink and leaned back to think, He sat so close to you his left bicep of his folded arms brushed yours with every breath he took.“Okoye? Sure…uh… in no particular order…Wanda, Nat, Darcy, and the little woman, Kris, from reception.”

“It seems, Mr. Barnes”, said Vision, “that you prefer mates who are significantly smaller than you. I do believe that of that group, Wanda is the tallest one.”

“Which isn’t really saying much because I’m only five, six”, she complained.

“The perfect height my dear.” Wanda smiled at that and kissed Vision’s cheek .

You took another long sip of your drink as you registered what had been said. Your stomach soured as you finished the glass. Not so much from the alcohol as from the realization that the man who you had secretly been pinning over didn’t even list you as attractive enough to make his top five.

You felt like you knew why. It was just too much. You weren’t small and dainty like those on his list. You had big bones and a can do attitude. You wouldn’t take crap from people. And because you were so tall you could come off as intimidating…or so some men had told you.

“I’m going to get another drink,” You whispered to no one in particular.

But Sam really couldn’t read a room and he called you out. “No, no! Who’s on your list Y/N?”

“Oh no!” You said dryly. “I’d have to be much drunker for that conversation. For now, I'll keep my opinions to myself.”

You spotted Bucky’s surprised face before you made your way over to the bar. The conversation carried on behind you as you refilled your glass. Thoughts of Bucky’s revelation clouding your mind. You were never going to be good enough for him because you were just too big. Too tall. Too much. He liked the smallest, most petite women in the compound. Feeling your emotions swelling,you decided to grab the bottle and made your way quietly out of the room while the ruckus continued.

Once on your floor you closed the door behind you with a forceful slam, “FRIDAY!! Lock the door and don’t open it for anyone!!”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N.”

The rest of the night was spent on the floor in your sweats drinking from your bottle of whiskey and feeling sorry for yourself and all the things you couldn’t be because of biology.

You weren’t sure if it was a drunken stupor or your imagination but at one point you could have sworn you heard a knock only for it to go away just as quickly.

…

The next day you had an awful hangover and didn’t get out of bed. Bucky came to your door for your normal morning run.

“Tell him I’m not going, Friday.”

“He would like to know why, Miss.”

“Tell him it’s my time of the month.”

“Your time of the month was last week, Miss.”

“Who’s side are you on, Friday? Just tell him I’m sick.”

“Very well, Miss.”

It was silent for a few moments and you had thought that would be enough to get Bucky off your back for now.

“Mr. Barnes would like to know if you’d like to see Dr. Cho, Miss.”

“Uuuugggghhhh,” you rolled out of bed and marched over, irritated that the one person you didn’t want to see was at your door.Pulling it open with a huff you practically screamed. “What?!?”

“Woah!” Bucky jumped back startled at your disheveled appearance and puffy eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re alright, doll. You didn’t come back last night and you never answered the door when I came to check on you.”

So there was a knock last night.

You couldn’t look him in the eye as your eyes filled with tears again, this time with shame. “I’m fine, Bucky.” You started shutting the door quickly and he stuck his hand on it preventing you from closing it again.

“Y/N…what’s…”

“Bucky, I just need some rest okay?” You cut him off, “I’m fine. I promise I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.” You smiled weakly.

Bucky searched your face as if trying to find what you weren’t telling him in your eyes. But you were an Avenger and you knew how to school your features to show nothing.

Bucky sighed and shook his head, “alright, doll. I’m here if you want to talk about anything.”

“Yes, fine,” you said pushing him out the door. Your eyes had flooded with tears again. You didn’t look up to see Bucky’s hurt and concerned face as you closed the door again and put your back to it.

You held your breath listening for his footsteps to retreat before sinking to the floor and crying.

…

The next day was an all out avoid Bucky day. You weren’t sure you could take the questions and worried looks he was sure to give you. Instead, you decided that what you needed was time away from such temptation. And so, you went in to ask Steve for an overseas long assignment.

“You sure about this one, Y/N. It’s a 9 month solo mission. It’s going to be long and it’s going to be lonely.”

“Yes. I’m sure. I need some time to myself.”

Steve looked at you with understanding and pity. He could see how you felt about Bucky even if he couldn’t get his best friend to see it as well.

“Alright,” he said, “suit up. You leave in 2 hours.”

South Africa wasn’t the worst assignment. It wouldn’t take long for you to get the information you needed. And the separation from Bucky would be good for you.

You finished checking your last weapon and loaded it as well as a pair of throwing knives, a gift from Bucky, into your duffle before looking around your room one more time.

You headed to the door and almost made it out until the picture of you and Bucky on your dresser made you stop. Picking it up you smiled at the memory of the minor league baseball game you’d attended together. You had won tickets and no one else was available that night. When you’d offered the tickets to Bucky you couldn’t believe that he said yes! It was the true start of your friendship, talking about life and how much it had changed for him but also how little it had changed for you. He couldn’t believe it when you started singing all the words to “I’ll never smile again”.

“You think I don’t know music? I’m quite cultured, Mr. Barnes!” You had said with a laugh.

“I never said you weren’t, sweetheart!”

Coming back out of your revelry with a start you put the picture back down on the dresser and turned to the door. You were going to get over this infatuation, even if it killed you. Supposedly time heals all wounds. Well you weren’t sure if there was ever going to be enough time but you could get distance.

…

Hours later Bucky came in to tell you about the relationship problems he was having with the girl from reception. She just didn’t seem to understand him and kept picking fights. You had become his confidant and had saved his relationship once before so would most likely be able to do it again.

He was almost to your room when he noticed your door was ajar. Slowing he moved closer and pushed it in silently. The room was neat and quiet. Your bed folded nicely as though it was always that way.

Bucky knew that you never made your bed until you were right about to get in it. Or unless you were going on a trip.

Checking carefully he started to notice things missing. Your favorite slippers were gone. Your tooth brush and favorite stuffed animal turtle were also missing. All of the things that you felt you had to have with you were gone.

Then he saw the picture frame on the dresser. Picking it up he too smiled at the memory, then frowned. It was still here. You almost always took this with you. Why was it still here but everything else you held of value was gone.

“Friday, where is Y/N?”

“Miss Y/L/N has volunteered for a mission, sir.”

“Where?”

“That information is classified.”

“Okay, when will she be back?”

“That information is classified.”

“Alright, who else went on the mission,” he asked hoping whoever it was would have your back.

“All other Avengers are currently in the compound.”

“So she went by herself?” Bucky fumed.

“That information is classified.”

“Damn robots!”

Bucky stormed out and found Steve in the kitchen.

“Where did you send her, punk!

Steve didn’t even look up from his newspaper, knowing exactly what his best friend was talking about.

“She’ll be fine, Buck. She just needs some time to herself.”

“So send her to Fiji! Not a solo mission!!”

“This is her call Bucky. You’ve got to trust her.”

Bucky spun on his heel and headed to the computer lab. He knew he was being irrational but if no one else was going to look after your well-being then he was going to have to do it himself.

It took him all day but he finally unencrypted the files for your mission. You were to carry out a recon mission in Port Elizabeth on a supposed Hydra base. It was a far cry from Fiji but you wouldn’t be in immediate danger.

Still he came in everyday to check in on your reports and find out how the events in the country were progressing. He had even convinced Torres to help him set up notifications to his phone if something were to go wrong. He had, very nicely, threatened him with knives if he didn’t set up Stark’s satellite to keep an eye on you.

After three weeks he was really starting to miss your company. Every time he went out with Kris from reception he realized that she just wasn’t as interesting as you. They didn’t have the same camaraderie and chemistry as the two of you did.

So when his phone dinged at 2:30am he looked at the notification. It was a satellite image of you on your apartment porch drinking coffee. You seemed at ease and calm at your small table. Your hair down and wearing a long red dress. He went to the live feed of the satellite but when he did you weren’t there.

Bucky refreshed the page again thinking it may be just an error. But his rising heartbeat made him think differently. When the screen came back he noticed the upturned coffee mug and the newspapers on the ground.

Bucky flew from his bed and raced down the hall to the command room. Steve and Tony were already there, still in their pajamas.

“…it’s not as if she has a tracker in her, Stark!”

“Well maybe she should! Maybe we should make it a standard issue! Everyone gets a tracker! Friday! Make a note!”

“Yes sir.” replied the AI.

“Tony, we need to focus on the…”

“Where is she?!” Bucky growled.

Both men turned around in surprise. Steve recovered first, his eyes sympathetic for his friend’s worry. “We’re not sure, Buck. These images were only taken 4 hours ago.” He clicked to zoom in closer, “but we did get this.”

He zoomed all the way into the kitchen window behind where you’d sat drinking coffee, where a face reflected in the glass. Bucky looked on in rage, hands in tight fists, as the image became clearer and Zemo came into focus.

…

You awoke with a start, unaware of your surroundings. You sat on a bed in a bare room with a single one way mirror. A metal chair sat by the wall and you noticed no handle on the door. Trying to piece together what had happened you recalled your last memory.

A beautiful morning, the sun shining on the water, a freshly brewed cup of coffee. You sat in your apartment in Port Elizabeth, a pain in your neck…

“Zemo,” you whispered.

“Ah, you’re awake,” said the speaker above you. “I’m sorry about the dramatics but it was necessary. You’re a very important piece of the puzzle.”

“Let me guess,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “You don’t like the way the world is being saved by the Avengers and you think you could do better.”

“Actually I want something else, мой дорогой. I need you.”

“What?” you cried befuddled. “Why on earth would you need me?”

“Do you know what TX-39 is?”

“Yes, I have an entire codex of arbitrary numbers logged away in my brain,” you retorted.

Zemo didn’t pause at your sarcasm. “TX-39 is the compound used to create nucleotides that bond onto nerve endings. By doing so they suspend brain signals stopping all neuro function and rendering the subject immoble. Something you have experienced first hand. By combining a nanotech inhibitor with this nerve ending your subject’s direct motor function is now open to...suggestions.”

You sat astounded as you registered what he had told you. You looked down at your hands but you didn’t feel different. There was no way something like this could work.

“What better way to get rid of a super soldier than to create your own?” Zemo said. You felt a slight buzz in your spine as you stood up quickly trying to resist. Running to the mirror you pulled back your arm, ready to punch your way out, but an inch from the glass your arm stopped. “Ironic that the Soldat will come to save you, only to be the one who needs to be saved.” With that you felt the electricity in your spine disappear and your body was your own again.

Frustration built within you as you sat back on the bed for a moment processing his statement. Your face became more and more incredulous until finally you burst out laughing. You continued laughing harder and harder at the absurdity of Zemo’s reasoning.

“You think I’m the one he is going to come after,” you laughed. “You think you picked the right mouse for your trap? You’re going to wait a long time if you think he’s going to come and get me.”

During your first few weeks away you had missed Bucky fiercely. Leaving him behind so abruptly had felt like severing a part of yourself, but the last few weeks had been good for you. You had forgotten what it was like to rely on yourself. You had grown into yourself again and had realized how little Bucky had actually cared for you when he never came to find you. He hadn’t so much as picked up the phone after you had left. It was as if you had never existed in the first place.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.You picked the wrong mouse, Zemo. ”

“We’ll see, дорогой,” and with a click he was gone.

Your brain shifted in and out of the conversation with Zemo. Looking down at your hands, you prayed it wasn’t true. You knew that what had happened at the window was real but you didn’t want to believe it. You had been turned into a weapon to hurt your friends. To hurt Bucky.

Crossing your arms over your chest you laid down on the bed, rolled over to face the wall, and cried.

…

Avengers Compound

“There is a five mile radius around Agent Y/L/N last known location,” said Fury. “Two man teams will sweep the area in a grid formation while the drones scan for energy signatures. Any questions?”

All those around the table sat silent, but nodded confirmation of their understanding of the objective. Fury looked around the room, “This mother fucker took one of ours and I wanna know why. Let’s get going.”

Bucky stood up from the table and made his way out of the room to the Quinjet hangar. Steve pulled on his arm before entering the plane. “I know what’s going through your mind right now Buck, but we are going to get her back”.

Bucky looked at the ground before raising his eyes to his friend. “He knew how to get to me, Steve. He always knows where to hurt me. He couldn’t use you. You’re too difficult to overpower. So he had to pick her. I just,” Bucky wasn’t sure how to finish his thought. Words never came easily to him and he wasn’t sure he could really express what he was feeling. “I just want her safe.”

After you had left Bucky felt hollow inside. He hadn’t realized how much joy you brought to his day with your smiles and jokes. Always knowing what to say, or at least, what he needed to hear. Your departure made him realize he needed you. Boarding the jet Bucky knew that no matter what happened he was going to tell you how he felt.

…

The team had been sweeping through the city for what felt like hours and there still hadn’t been any developments. Walking through another alleyway Bucky scanned the cobblestone streets. He was beginning to lose hope at ever finding you at all when he saw an uneven line in between two buildings.

Pressing his comm link he called out, “Steve, I’ve got something. I’m going to check it out.”

“Bucky, wait for backup. We’ll come to you.”

Feeling along the wall Bucky felt a draft between the cracks. Unholstering the gun at his hip he pushed against the wall feeling it give way.

“I’m going in. Follow my location.”

“Bucky, wait!” Steve called.

Bucky ignored his calls and continued down the dimly lit hall. The walls opened up to a staircase leading down to a command room. The musky scent of decay and scotch filled Bucky’s nostrils.

“Privet, Soldat,” Zemo called from the darkness.

Bucky whirled around to find nothing.

“Have you come for your little mouse?”

Still searching, Bucky said nothing as the sound came from a different corner of the room.

“Have you realized how much you miss her?”

Bucky circled again, coming up to a window.

“I wonder what it is? Is it her sweetness that draws you? Or her willingness to see you for more than the killer you are?”

Bucky frowned. Zemo was playing with him.

“Or have you realized that her fire is what draws you to her? She does have a talented tongue. I’ve seen her put it to good use,” Zemo provoked. “I have enjoyed having her in my company, but it seems you really never appreciated her spirit, did you?”

Bucky continued searching the room as Zemo continued his monologue. Coming up to the computer he saw a paused video feed. It played as soon as he stepped forward.

Bucky saw you in a room, still in your red sundress. Your hair was matted and you had the look in your eye of anger and exasperation. When you spoke, Bucky felt the wind rush out of his lungs.

“Bucky doesn’t care about me,” you said sardonically. “He never has. We are barely even friends.”

“A pity she never saw you care, but I suppose it’s only fair that you tell her now.”

The door beside the window clicked open with a beep. You came out of the cell with a look of wary surprise on your face. “Bucky?”

“Now is your moment, Sergeant Barnes. Why not tell her how you feel before it's too late,” called Zemo.

Bucky holstered his gun and walked toward you. “Y/N? Are you okay? Come on, let's get out of here.”

He grabbed your hand and turned to go but you were rooted to the spot. Your breathing became heavy as you felt the tingling sensation in your spine again.

“Bucky, I need you to leave,” you cried, dread dripping from your voice.

“What? No,sweetheart, come on! I’m not leaving you.”

“Bucky, I…” you started.

“Last chance to declare yourself, Soldat.”

Looking up in anger, Bucky yelled. “Shut up, Zemo. I’m not performing for you-” Bucky’s head turned in surprise as you punched him across the face. “What the hell, Y/N?”

“It wasn’t me!” you cried as you dropped and kicked his legs out from under him.

Bucky rolled over quickly to pick himself up as you followed him swinging punches at his head and kicks to his stomach. Your moves were both erratic and efficient as they landed multiple times. It was all Bucky could do to block your assault and move out of the way.

“This isn’t me!” you cried again between punches. “Zemo is controlling me with nanotech!”

Bucky threw up an arm to block your punch before flipping you around by your arm and pressing you to the wall. He didn’t want to hurt you but he was pretty sure that it wasn’t the most comfortable position.

“It’s okay, Y/N. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Your foot kicked his leg and you pushed yourself over and around his head and away from the wall. Grabbing the knife at his hip as you slipped out of his grip, you threw it into his thigh.

Bucky looked at you in surprise and annoyance. “Sorry!” you winced. Pulling the knife from his leg he tossed it to the floor.

“Look, Y/N. I’m not going anywhere, but try not to kill me, okay?”

“It’s not like I’m doing this on purpose Bucky!” you huffed as you charged at him.

“Well I’m just trying to get you out of the problem you put yourself in!” You had grabbed another knife and went to stab him. Bucky caught the knife and twisted your hand but the knife snagged your dress and tore the skirt as you fought to wrestle it away.

Your eyes flared with anger and the next punch you threw had a little extra heft in it.

“That I put myself in? How about you, Mr. Barge-into-a-room-with-no-back-up!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you liked being saved! Although you’re one to talk! You came on a mission without backup!” Bucky rolled across the computer console out of the way of your next kick, getting agitated at your attitude.

“Because I needed space!” you yelled as you followed him around the computer desk.

“Space? Space from what?” Bucky yelled back, actually throwing a punch that you easily evaded.

“You! You idiot!” it burst out of you as you came up swinging before pushing him to the ground.

Bucky looked up at you with his eyes wide. You had him straddled under your legs. Bucky brought his arms up to block your punches while he tried to talk to you.

“Why would you need space from me? I don’t understand. You left without warning, without saying goodbye! Your mission was classified so I had to hack F.R.I.D.A.Y to even find out where you were!”

Your body was starting to fatigue from the strain of the fight as you continued to land blow after blow. You were fit and well trained but because your body was not your own you were blowing through energy rapidly. Your breaths were coming in short gasps as your chest heaved at each punch. If you kept this up, you weren’t sure how much time you would have before your body gave out entirely.

“Y/N, you left a huge gap! You were my best friend and then you were gone! You wouldn’t even talk to me before you left! You didn’t tell me you were leaving. I couldn’t even call you because the mission was supposed to be classified!”

Maybe it was the fatigue, maybe the hopelessness you felt, but you gave him everything you had left as you pummeled into him. Frustration over your situation, frustration at him, frustration at yourself built up inside you.

“I WILL NOT BE YOUR STAND IN! I will not be second best. I can’t look on anymore as you find someone smaller, cuter, littler to fit perfectly into your life! I deserve to be wanted! I deserve to be desired!” you screamed at the man beneath you as tears streamed down your cheeks.

Bucky finally bucked his hips and flipped you under him, pinning your hands to the ground next to your head.

“Get off of me! Let me go!” you had finally had enough. The damn had broken and your emotions and insecurities raged inside you. Your body pulled and twisted to break free from his grip.

“You do deserve to be desired,” Bucky said calmly as he caged you beneath him. “You are nobody's stand in. You’re perfect just as you are.” He wanted to say more but it was all he could do to keep you pinned under him.

The team burst down into the control room to see you openly weeping and Bucky on top of you.

“Nat, I need you to put an electric burst in my arm.” Bucky said looking up.

“I’m sorry, you what?” asked Nat.

“Just do it!” he said as you fought harder against him.

With a nod from Steve, Nat waved her baton and zapped Bucky’s arm causing both of you to scream in pain. When your body finally stopped seizing, the lack of adrenaline and the pain and fatigue caught up to you and you passed out in Bucky’s arms.

“You want to explain why I just pushed fifty thousand volts through you two?”

“Zemo infected her with some kind of nano tech. She hasn’t been in control this entire time.”

Steve scanned around the room. “Alright team, fan out. See if you can find out where Zemo went. I want teams down here with sat links up in 30 minutes.”

Bucky circled the gears around in his arm to get it up and running again before scooping you carefully off the ground.

“Buck, get her on the next jet out. Dr. Cho and Banner will be waiting for you to get back.”

…

For the second time you woke up in an unfamiliar place, and struggled to get your bearings. You felt like you’d been run over by a pick up truck and tumbled through a dryer.

Feeling slowly returned to your hands as your eyes opened and your vision cleared. You were in one of the medical rooms at the compound you realized.

“Look who decided to wake up,” said a gruff voice.

Turning your head you saw Bucky sitting in the chair beside you. He looked fresh and his eyes twinkled at you.

“Bucky,” you croaked as you tried to sit up.

“Woah there. You just relax. Your body is still trying to catch up from Zemo’s nanites.”

You slumped back down in the bed as Bucky leaned forward to take your hand.

“You had me worried there for a minute, doll. You’ve been sleeping for days. Wasn’t sure when you were going to pull through.”

“You doubt me, Barnes?”

“Not for a second, sweetheart, but I sure as hell missed you.” Bucky smiled, then looked down for a moment as if trying to find the right words. “We need to talk about why you left, Y/N.”

“No, Bucky, I...it doesn’t matter.” You say looking away. “It’s not important.”

“I don’t know, I’d say you thinking you don’t matter to me is pretty important.” You turned to look at him sharply, mouth open in a small gasp. “And I’d also say that you thinking I don’t find you desirable is pretty important too.”

You sat in shock as he spoke, not wanting to break the way you had during your fight.

“Y/N, you are perfect. You knew me before I even knew myself. You light up the whole room just by being in it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are strong, independent, kind, and gentle. You’re like a tall Asgardian goddess. Every inch of you is beautiful. I thought back to the last time we talked...before you left, and I realized why you did. I know why you thought I wasn’t attracted to you. That night, Sam’s list,” he paused as if pained at the memory, “I didn’t add you because...well, because I was so confused at how I was feeling. You were my friend. I didn’t realize till it was too late that I was already falling in love with you. And I most definitely didn’t want to give Sam anymore ammunition.”

You looked up at him sharply when he dropped the L word.

Bucky stood to reposition himself on the edge of your bed. Taking your face in his hands he leans forward until your foreheads barely touch. “I didn’t want to ruin things with you. You were my friend. You were perfect and I thought you deserved better so I ran to find something that was everything you weren’t. You are my perfect fit. You are just right. You are the only person I want. Please tell me you’re mine. Please tell me I haven’t lost you.”

You brought your hand up to rest over his as you let his words wash over you.

He wanted you. He thought you were beautiful. All of you. All of the parts people had told you were too much: your height, your attitude, your independence - he wanted it all.

You did something that you wanted to do for months, you brought your lips up to his softly and gave him a chaste kiss. “I was always yours Bucky,” You pulled his hands down and pushed him away to look into his eyes, “but I won’t be taken for granted anymore. I shouldn’t have to leave for you to want me. I shouldn’t have to be gone for you to realize what you had. I left for a reason. It was to find peace with myself. I realized that I didn’t need your approval. I didn’t need your desire to be whole. I won’t settle for someone who can’t see what’s right in front of them. I know my worth.”

Bucky looked at you sorrowfully as he held onto your fingers, memorizing their shape. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you feel like you weren’t enough.”

“I know, but it happened. I don’t need you to be happy, Bucky...” Bucky hung his head in dejection. “...But I do want you.”

Bucky looked up at you sharply to find your eyes full of love and warmth. You wanted him. Even after all that happened - how he forced you away, how he made you feel like you weren’t good enough, you were still willing to forgive him. You wanted him even with all his faults.

You brought him closer for another kiss and savored the way his lips fell across yours. Breaking away to look up at him you said what you had been holding in for months, “And I love you too.”

Tags: @princessmisery666 @dreamwritesimagines

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fic #avenger reader #angst #tall girl problems

259 notes · View notes

h0neypjm · 4 years ago

Text

Confident 02 | jjk

↳ Summary: After giving Jungkook the best suck of his life he’s left wondering if what you said was true. Was it really your first time? ‘Cause Jungkook thinks you might’ve lied.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy! jk, our fav cheeky virgin reader!

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 8.8k

↳ Warnings: swearing, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of being pressured into sex, mentions of body image, mentions of stds, Jungkook being very confused, no smut in this part

↳ a/n: here it is !!! thank you for all the love for the first part, i hope you enjoy this part ! please feel free to leave any feedback <3

↳ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Previously...

“She said it's her first time.” He pauses, looking up at his friends' concerned faces. “I think she might’ve lied.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jungkook groans, cradling his head before banging it on the table. The utensils on the table rattle and clang, bringing unwanted attention to his mini breakdown. Taehyung is quick to place his hand under Jungkook's forehead just as he goes in for another blow. “Ok, Jungkook- Jungkook!” Jimin giggles beside him. “Fucking stop, people are staring.”

Jungkook pauses and subtly peeks out of his long bangs, checking to see that Taehyung’s words were indeed true. He breathes out and sits up in his chair, fixing his shirt to play off that he wasn’t just having a mental meltdown.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “soooo are you gonna talk now, cause’ I have a horrible headache and you’re really not helping.”

Jungkook nods opening his mouth to speak. “Alright so uh, I met a girl last night and-”

“I thought you went home?” Taehyung shoves Jimin’s shoulder and Jungkook glares, “yeah, well that clearly didn’t happen.” He rubs his temples, “could you do me a favour and let me speak first, and then you can ask the questions. Ok?”

The two boys nod, settling into their seats as Jungkook delves back into his story.

“Alright so anyways, I saw this girl and like, I haven’t ever seen her before? She was literally perfect”. He exhales looking at nothing at particular as he continues. “Gorgeous face, prettiest lips and oh! speaking of her lips, God the way she sucked-”

Despite what Jungkook said earlier, Taehyung feels the need to intervene. “Ok as much as I love a good suck myself, I need you to stop here, we don’t need the graphics.” Jimin nods in agreement even though it’s clear he’s not paying an ounce of attention. Jungkook smirks at the memory, but it soon drops as he remembers one tiny detail. He places his hands on the table, total seriousness etched onto his face. “But here’s the kicker, she said it was her first time.”

Confusion.

“So did you or did you not take her virginity?”Jungkook crosses his arms. “No, after that she just up and left.” “Wait, fuck”, Jungkook suddenly realises, “I didn’t even make her cum”, he groans and Taehyung bursts into laughter. This finally garners Jimin’s attention, his dazed eyes squinting. “Who’s the girl?” Jungkook sighs, “if you were listening before you would’ve heard me say that I don’t know her.” Jimin leans forward,“well can you at least describe her? I pretty much know everyone who attended the party”

Jungkook doesn’t have to think that hard. “She was wearing this plaid skirt and like a white top-” Jimin’s eyes widen, “Holy shit, Y/N?! Man, Jin’s gonna kill you.” This makes Jungkook pause, thoughts running back to the text he had received from Jin. “Wait, they’re not a thing are they?” Jimin chokes, “God no, they’ve been family friends since like forever, Jin’s practically her protective older brother.”

That explained his text earlier. Jungkook furrows his brows, more questions beginning to arise and spill out of his mouth. “How come I’ve never met her and if she’s a virgin, then how- how did-”, Taehyung cuts in, “dude she’s done other things before.” More confusion. “And how would you know that?” Taehyung smirks, shrugging as he gets up out of his chair. “I'm gonna get a drink, Jimin, you want anything?” God, his head is spinning. “Sure, you know my usual.”

It was the way Taehyung spoke too casually, like your lifestyle choices were common knowledge. How the fuck hasn’t he met you, yet his friends seem to be well acquainted with your existence? “What the fuck was that look?” He focuses on Taehyung from where he orders his drinks. “Did you see it Jimin? Kinda sus.”

Jimin remains nonchalant, blowing a strand of hair out of his sight before answering one of Jungkook’s urgent queries. “Jin never introduced you to her because well…” He looks Jungkook up and down with an unimpressed look. “You would get your grimy hands on her immediately. And Then after that, It’s like she never existed ” Jungkook opens his mouth, rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. “Don’t argue with me boy, the second you met her, you already wanted her on your dick, did you not?”

Jungkook is shocked to say the least, jaw hanging open as Taehyung makes his way back to the table, drinks in hand. “Oh God, what did you tell him?” Jungkook slams his fist on the table, yet again grabbing the attention of people around them. “That is not true! I have standards, and what about you two. You guys are just as bad.” He points accusingly at the bruises peeking out of Taehyung’s loose shirt, “Look at Tae! Those hickies are probably a combination of the three girls he fucked last week!”

Jimin doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cafe, so he attempts to calm down a soon to be raging Jungkook. “Look, to put it nicely, you’re a heartbreaker, you lead girls on whereas Tae and I actually tell people we’re not interested in anything more than a hookup.”

Jungkook seems to understand where he’s coming from. He can admit, he does have quite the reputation if the amount of times he’s been slapped in the face says anything. But now, with this newfound information, he can also admit that you’ve certainly intrigued him, that was for sure.

Jungkook wants to see you again.

Not for a rump in the sheets, but rather a friendly conversation.

It was just his luck that he had heard through the grapevine that you had been invited to one of Jin’s small pool party get togethers. If Jungkook was being honest, he’s quite excited to be within your vicinity again but he knows he needs to keep his cool. Especially after the series of death threats and slaps on the neck from Jin. He shudders at the memory.

And so, Jungkook prepares himself more than he usually does. He wants to do it right this time. No flirty teasing, just friendly innocent conversation. He makes sure to carefully pick out the right swim shorts that display the thickness of his thighs. Not for any sexual gain, more so to show off the hours spent at the gym in hopes that maybe he can get you to become more interested in him as he is to you. He sounds desperate, and he’s sure you’re not that materialistic, but he has this nagging want to impress you somehow. He huffs and does a few pushups, for extra measure of course.

He’s not sure as to why his brain decided to make him act this way. You’re more or less a stranger to him. However, when Jungkook begins his short journey to Jin’s house he really lets himself think, which usually isn't a good idea.

Jungkook doesn’t know you, but you’ve definitely left an imprint in his mind which makes you all the more fascinating. It’s news to him that you seem to be very close to his small circle of friends which is probably thanks to your deeply rooted friendship with Jin. That new piece of information had been bugging him since the day he met up with Taehyung and Jimin. Surely his reputation couldn’t be the only reason why you’ve never met him. Right?

Parking his car in Jin’s enormous driveway, he makes his way up to the grand front door. Sometimes he wishes he could live a life like Jin. He grew up being fed with a silver spoon his whole life. Having everything paid for instead of rolling in the miseries of college student debt.

Once Jungkook makes his way into the large house, he sets down the drinks he had brought onto the kitchen counter and watches his best friends goof around and enjoy the summer sun with a warm grin. He chuckles quietly when Jin pushes Jimin and his perfectly styled hair into the pool. Jimin screams a slur of curses while Jin quickly runs beside a sleeping Yoongi for protection.

Slipping out of his loose oversized shirt, Jungkook scans the entirety of Jin’s backyard, looking for the face that has been haunting him since that fateful night. She’s not here. He reexamines the pool seeing nothing but the chaotic mess of his favourite people, and he sighs. Just as he prepares to step out into the blazing sun, the sound of his stomach growling stops him in his tracks.

Thinking about you made him nervous. So nervous that his stomach couldn’t bear the thought of breakfast. However, after the realisation that you hadn’t arrived just yet, makes him do a full one eighty, long strides taking him to Jin’s expensive fridge.

His head is already deep into the fridge when he hears the sound of the sliding door opening, revealing a dripping Jin with a small scowl on his face. It seems Jimin finally got his revenge. “I’m starving you got any leftovers?” Jungkook queries, his head popping out from the cool air of the fridge.

Jin grabs a fresh towel and whacks it against Jungkook’s naked back. “What’s the point of even asking when you’re already going through my damn fridge!” Jungkook flashes Jin an innocent grin and glows when he discovers a small bowl of Chinese takeout.

It very quickly dawns on Jungkook that in order to enjoy a nice warm meal, he would need to heat it up. His stomach all but roars, not used to the lack of food in its system and Jungkook wants to cry. He wants to cry and it's not from the angry hunger pains, but rather something extremely laughable. He has to use a fucking microwave.

You’re running late, there’s sweat running down your brow and you feel like your arms will fall off any second. The weight of snacks and alcohol you had brought making you stagger as you finally enter Jin’s enormous home.

The one and only thing that’s on your mind is the refreshing feeling of slipping into Jin’s pool while sipping on an iced beverage. This motivates you enough to put all the strength left in your exhausted being to speedily walk into the kitchen and throw everything onto the counter.

“AHH FUCK!” You flinch at the sudden scream, hugging your body protectively. Jungkook slowly pops out from behind the other side of the counter, his doe eyes big and wide. “You fucking scared me Jesus!” He exclaims, running a hand through sweaty bangs.

The air had escaped your lungs long before you could utter your next sentence as the sight before you has you freezing. There he was, Jeon Jungkook in all his glory. Tanned skin and taut muscle sculpted by the Gods. You didn’t mean to stare, but how could you not! Your eyes had a mind of their own. He’s glorious, every single part of him, and you’re not even afraid to admit it. Your eyes are quick to eat him up, tracing the art staining the whole of his right arm and you wonder what every swirl of ink means to him.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, going in to scratch at his neck. You imagined he would tease you about your obvious ogling, but it never came. Strange. “Why were you hiding?” You ask, dropping your gaze from his body in order to arrange the snacks into neat piles, using it as an excuse to slowly step closer to him. “Oh! Uh-”, he scratches his head, looking down at his feet before jumping five feet into the air, a startled gasp leaving his lips when the timer of the microwave goes off.

You burst into laughter and Jungkook flushes in embarrassment. Jin had told you about Jungkook’s embarrassing fear of microwaves but you never thought you would see it first hand. You hold in the laughs that tickle your throat and try to settle him down by lightly touching his shoulder. He flinches at your touch.

“Are you okay?” You’re really close to him now. Your chest is practically pressed up against his and Jungkook gulps. How was it possible that you could look even more stunning than the last time he saw you? Your cheeks are glowing from the soft golden rays of the afternoon sun and the way you look up at him, your soft smile curling makes his head spin.

“Yeah, I’m good”, he breaks eye contact in embarrassment. “Sorry, just uh, microwaves are scary you know?” You giggle up at him. Is this really Jungkook? The Jungkook you’ve seen flaunting a new girl every week just to abruptly break her heart when he can’t promise anything more than sex?

You’re not complaining, he’s quite adorable like this.

You’re not too sure why his personality has the sudden switch up. It could possibly be the fact that he’s with his closest friends and doesn’t feel the need to put up his playboy persona. Although, the way he blushes when he looks at you plays a different story. Do you make him nervous? Surely not, if the memories of that heated night are anything to go by.

“So uh, are you gonna head into the pool?” His empty stomach is long forgotten as he gestures to the large backyard, you nod up at him excitedly. It’s then Jin decides to bust back into the kitchen, a stern gaze set on his face. “Y/N, can I speak with you for a minute?” Jungkook cautiously takes a step away from you, your bodies no longer close to each other and you notice this with a small frown.

“Yeah, sure”, you relent walking over to Jin who places a protective arm around your shoulders. Unknowingly to you, Jin traps Jungkook down with a hard stare and signals Jungkook to go outside, to which he accepts with a nod.

“I know what you’re gonna say, and no I do not see him like that”, you cross your arms defensively. Jin sighs, “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again.” He places his hands on your shoulders, full lecture mode on. “Let’s face it, you’re a hopeless romantic, I can’t trust that you won’t do something stupid, but you and Jungkook… You’re both important friends of mine and-”

You’ve heard his overprotective brotherly speech plenty of times, “I know, and I’m so thankful that you’re looking out for me. I just don’t see the harm in befriending him, you’ve never let me speak to him before.” Jin releases his hold on your shoulders to fix the mess of his wet hair, “and there's a reason for that.”

Why was he so damn hard-headed. Jin loves Jungkook like he loves his family. It just didn't make any sense to you that Jin could approve of their friendship but when it comes to you, he completely shields you away from any interactions with the so called playboy.

“When are you going to stop protecting me from boys?” Jin senses your frustration immediately. “I may be younger than you, but I’m also an adult just like you. An adult that can make her own choices.” You exhale slowly, “You’ve let me befriend your whole group and they’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, I don’t see the wrong in getting to know Jungkook.”

Jin lets his guard down. You do have a point, maybe he was being a little too overprotective. He gives you a soft smile, you look away.

“You’re right, I am in no position to dictate your decisions and who you choose to hang around with, it was wrong of me to treat you like that. Jin looks out into the pool, watching Jungkook tackle Taehyung. “I’m sorry I was a bit too harsh, Jungkook’s a good kid, he just got into the wrong crowd at first. Although, you gotta promise to tell me if he hurts you, cause he knows I’ll beat his ass.”

You laugh accepting his apology, “are you sure about that? He’s a literal muscle pig.” You both begin to make your way outside and Jin shoves you slightly, “hey! You know I’m right.” Jin shakes his head and brings you into a comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, you beam up at him and together you walk out into the warm sunlight.

It hadn’t even been a second since you stepped outside, and already Yoongi’s long term girlfriend, Jieun is squealing your way. “Y/N! I’m so happy you're finally here, the amount of testosterone out here was starting to make me feel faint.” You giggle at her exasperated tone, pulling her into a tight hug.

Nonchalantly you peel off your flowy sundress, it’s stickiness from your sweat making you cringe. “I missed you last week, why didn’t you come to class?” Jiuen pouts, “I'm sorry bub, I somehow caught a cold, but I trust you have some notes for me.”

The way Jieun flutters her lashes at you innocently forces a roll from your eyes. Slathering sunscreen onto your arms, you reprimand her, “I swear you’re only using me for my notes, you literally never listen in class! Can you get my back please?”

She hums while you turn around, her small hands kneading sunscreen from your shoulder bones to the small dip in your back. Jieun continues to blabber on about the joys of life, not even checking if you’re listening to a single word she says. Instead your eyes are zeroed in on a certain someone.

Your staring is blatantly obvious but you don’t care. It’s only when Taehyung spots your burning gaze with a small smirk does he signal Jungkook to turn around to meet your flirty grin.

Holy shit

The sun does a real great job of highlighting the gorgeous curves of your body adorned in quite possibly the smallest baby blue bikini he’s seen on a woman. Your breasts practically spill out of the tiny triangle cups and the pretty colour compliments your skin beautifully.

Whilst Jungkook can admit you have one of the hottest bodies he’s seen in a while, his eyes surprisingly don't linger on your delicious curves for too long. Instead, he finds himself utterly enamoured by the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile prettily at him, your cheeks glowing with it.

It suddenly dawns on him that you are the first girl that has truly enchanted him, and no, your ridiculously gorgeous body had little to do with it.

Jungkook does not mind this change one bit.

So, instead of staring at you like a gaping goldfish, he matches your flirtatious body language with a boyish grin and a small wave. His previous nerves dissipating only to be replaced by confidence and polished charm. He doesn’t want to scare you off with his sudden look of epiphany just yet, but the new unfamiliar feeling you give him is surely doing exactly that.

“My, my, Yoongi wasn’t lying.” Jieun stifles a giggle when she notices how Jungkook’s attention has steered towards you and only you. You’re quick to turn around, brows furrowed. “What are you on about?”

“Oh you know… You and Jungkook”

You grimace, tired of the repeated topic of conversation. “Just because I sucked his dick once does not mean we're a thing”

“Oh really? He’s asked me an awful lot of questions about you I was beginning to think otherwise”

“Wait, really?”

Jieun has the widest cheshire grin plastered on her face, it's starting to look quite unsettling.

“Really.”

You’re thoroughly shocked to say the least. You thought your fast, fleeting blowjob, sort of, was nothing special. A usual escapade to get his daily fill. Ordinary. Unmemorable.

However, it seems to be quite the opposite.

Jieun grabs your hand and swings it back and forth, exactly like a mother would do, although she’s merely two years older than you. “I know Jin’s been up your ass about Jungkook and frankly I don’t blame him he’s still a little shit from time to time but, he’s actually quite fun to be around and honestly I think his playboy tendencies seemed to dial down a bit since he met us.” The two of you giggle quietly amongst each other, quick feet making your way closer to the pool to avoid the scorching pavement.

Your toes are the first to dip into the pool and you practically moan at the cold water melting away the blistering haze that sticks onto your skin. The water is icy at your waist and you love it. “So my advice would be not to worry about him, instead it's his little army of plastic bimbos that you should watch out for.”

“Ahh, internalised misogyny. We love to see it.”

Jieun acknowledges you with a hum as the two of you float around the calming abyss. She then swims closer to you, nodding her head into the direction of a lonely Jungkook, who lazily stares at your alluring form. “I think your loverboy over there wants to talk to you.”

Jieun swims away before you can protest, leaving you to face the handsome man before you. His eyes are round and docile, yet his stare is tantalising, it pulls you in as if he’s slowly reeling you in with a rope.

The water delicately ripples around your body when you approach him and you internally sigh in awe at the striking features of his stunning face. You want to use this opportunity to finally get to know him, and perhaps form a new friendship.

You take note of the lack of Jin’s hawk-like eyes or for better the lack of any eyes on the two of you. You’re alone, huddled into one of the far corners of the pool, your conversation private, just for two pairs of ears.

You open your mouth to speak, “So-”

“I-”

An uncomfortable silence stills the air and you both halt your words to giggle quietly amongst yourselves. God, this is awkward.

“You go first”, You offer, tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook follows the subtle movement of your fingers before taking a deep breath.

“I feel like we should discuss the elephant in the room”

You're stunned. “Huh?”

“You know… That Friday night?”

Of course you knew what he was referring too, yet you wondered why as you honestly didn’t think that night had much impact on the man.

With a raised brow you ask, “What about it?”

“I’ve just had a lot of... thoughts”

You scratch your head feeling puzzled. You’re sure Jungkook has had better blowjobs in his lifetime. Hell, Jungkook did most of the work that night. “Do you usually discuss the past hookups you have, or am I just lucky today?”

You’re teasing him, nevertheless Jungkook tilts his head back towards the sky. All he wants is clarification, only this conversation is heading down an awkward path, so he decides to spit out what’s been bothering him for the past few days.

“Okay listen, I know this is odd to say, but ever since that night, It’s like I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your ego inflates at his statement and you smirk. You knew you could suck dick well, but according to Jungkook you seem to have quite the talent.

You smile proudly, “damn, look at me go, I can’t believe I have the campus playboy wrapped around my finger.”

Jungkook scoffs, both in annoyance and embarrassment because shit, he could have worded that differently, now he sounds like the clingy girls he fucks.

“Yeah, yeah let’s not pretend like I was the only one enjoying myself here. Weren’t you the one practically begging to be touched?”

You’re amused. “Weren’t you the one who couldn’t make me cum. Yet came from their own handjob?”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and looks away. The way you speak so casually intimidates him. No girl has ever spoken to him this way, in fact, Jungkook’s the one who usually likes to tease. He can slowly feel the creeping heat alighting his cheeks and God does he hope you don’t notice.

You patiently wait for Jungkook’s reply, a sly grin adorned on your pretty face. However, Jungkook doesn’t say anything, rather he frowns and immaturely splashes water at your face.

“Jungkook!” You sputter, wiping at your face to rid of the chlorine in your eyes. “What the fuck was that for?”

He shrugs, “sorry my hand must’ve slipped”

You don’t take that for an answer, your petty nature crawling out as you splash him back harder than he had done. “Hand slipped, my ass.”

You cross your arms smugly, a small laugh blossoming out of your mouth when Jungkook cutely rubs at his eyes.

It’s after a minute when you realise Jungkook hasn’t stopped furiously rubbing his eyes. The circular motions of his hand move so intensely that it begins to look painful and irritating. “Fuck, it stings”, he exclaims in agony.

Shit, you inwardly curse, gently touching his wrist, concern lacing your features because you didn’t think getting chlorinated water in one's eye would sting that much. You analyse his facial expressions closely and you wince at the redness surrounding his eyes from his harsh rubbing.

On the contrary, Jungkook knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s competitive and won’t back down from a fight, even if it’s just fun banter, so he continues his little scheme just for the fun of it and hides his small grin under his large hands.

You’re now slightly panicked, “fuck, Jungkook I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit the water that hard I-”

Jungkook cracks.

Ever so slowly, he peeps his eyes out at you and watches with a mischievous smirk as your face morphs from alarmed to annoyed in less than a millisecond.

You tighten your grip on his wrist and attempt to slap his hard chest with your free hand, however Jungkook’s reflexes are fast and he grasps your hand tightly, a teasing glint in his eye.

“You little shit-”

All of a sudden a loud holler is heard from the front door, rousing a relaxed Jin out of his chair as he sprints while simultaneously yelling at the ruckus being made. It’s then a stampede of both familiar and unfamiliar faces come crashing in. Some jump straight into the pool to cool off from the blazing sun while others rush to the table of assorted alcohol, desperate to get an ounce of it in their system.

Word seemed to go around about Jin’s supposed small get-together unbelievably fast, causing the once tranquil Kim Seokjin into a raging volcano.

You’re pressed right up against Jungkook’s solid chest and he surprisingly pays you no mind, even though your perky tits are deliciously pushed up perfectly against his body. Jungkook’s eyes are not settled on them, rather he pays close attention to the amount of people dangerously plunging into the pool at a fast rate.

Jungkook protectively hugs your shoulders to shield you from the rowdy party goers who definitely do not understand the definition of personal space. Your heart swells when he then delicately places your head in the crook of his neck and wraps an arm around your fairly exposed body, essentially guarding you from frantic wet limbs and ignorant individuals.

You feel comfortable and safe, so comfortable that you wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while if it weren’t for the throng of college students delving into the cooling water.

Jin’s house begins to fill with unexpected guests very quickly and you wonder how Jin is handling the situation. You suppose not very well when you see him whipping people with towels, red ears making an appearance and his booming voice following him.

Jungkook wants to get out and he’s sure you feel the same way which is why he smoothly slots his hand into your own, long fingers wrapping around your hand to carefully pull you through the growing crowd of people in the pool.

Whilst pushing past a variety of college students you are met with many stares, even worse, numerous envious eyes and whispers of possible gossip. You try your best to avoid their gazes, the hard stares reminding you of the last time Jungkook held your hand to push through groups of people.

Water drips down the curves of your body and lands in little pools around you when you step out of the pool. At this point you’ve garnered even more turning heads that examine every inch of your skin closely. Their stares itch your skin and you feel akin to an animal kept in a zoo enclosure, curious eyes breaking down your confidence, you want to hide.

You usually like to pride yourself on your confidence because you know you’re hot and you know your worth. It had taken many failed relationships to build up your self love and nourish the scars and memories of questioning if you’re good enough.

You fight on and squeeze Jungkook’s hand, mostly for some sort of reassurance. It shocks you when he astonishingly squeezes back and softly rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s almost as if he knows how you’re feeling.

You glance up at him shyly. Jungkook keeps his eyes straight ahead. He smiles a different kind of smile than the one he had directed to you a few hours ago. His lips are in a permanent smug smirk. His usual playboy smile. He flashes it at everyone as if he’s asking for their approval and even goes in to high-five a few people who are unrecognisable to you. You soon realise that this is what Jungkook thrives on. People, validation and his notorious reputation he’s created for himself.

Jungkook lights up at the presence of crowds, flirty smiles and people calling his name, whereas you want to crawl into your skin and run away because from the perspective of outsiders it looks like you’re just another one of Jungkook’s flings that will soon be forgotten by next week.

Well, you hope you won’t turn out to be one of them.

At last you find yourself away from the heart of the party, your dress in hand but your body still wet nonetheless. Jungkook is in the same state as yourself, droplets of water dribbling from his dark hair and onto the timber flooring. He leans into your ear, “I’ll go get us some towels, stay here.”

He’s gone before you can reply, making small conversation when he passes by various people, his boisterous laugh echoing down the halls.

You’re alone now, and defenceless at that. There’s not many people you know here, besides the few odd people you share a class with and some sleazy frat boys that hold a similar reputation to Jungkook. You want to find Jieun so you can hug her or maybe ask her if she can take you home, but she is nowhere to be found.

Fuck, You remember leaving your bag on the kitchen table, unsupervised with many personal belongings stowed away inside. Using your dress to cover the most of your exposed skin like a blanket, you stride over to the kitchen and sigh in relief when you find your bag untouched and in perfect condition.

Snatching up your bag, you grab your phone and immediately text Jieun to find out where the fuck she’s hiding, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s probably fucking Yoongi somewhere. Traitor.

Jungkook finds you to be in a completely different part of the house than where he asked you, one towel wrapped around his neck and the other draped over his arm. You haven’t noticed him yet, your frantic fingers texting a treacherous Jieun, “princess, didn’t I tell you to stay put?”

You’re startled. Switching your phone off you stick your arm out, waiting for Jungkook to pass you the towel but he doesn't. Jungkook gently pushes your shoulders so that you turn away from him and carefully wraps the towel around your body like a cape. You hold the edges of the fabric to help him hug the towel around yourself, keeping it tighter to your body.

Your voice is quiet, “thank you.”

Jungkook leans down to meet your face, “What was that?”

Even though Jungkook had been in the pool longer than you, his cologne still sticks to his skin and you kind of want to breathe more of it in, but that would be weird.

“Oh, I said thank you.”

You’re close to him again, although this time he towers over you with a look almost identical to a predator meeting its prey.

Jungkook’s eyes flirt around your face and descend. He shamelessly drinks up the swell of your breasts and whatever skin is visible amidst the fluffy towel around you. It’s strange. You had noticed Jungkook doing the exact same thing when you were alone with him. The difference though was that his looks were cursory as if he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now, It's like a new persona had taken over him and he was ready to pounce at any sign of a green light.

He’s stuck in a trance, fuckboy tinted glasses fogging his vision.

You force out a giggle and playfully shove his shoulder, “my eyes are up here, you know.”

His reply comes lighting fast, he’s definitely been in this position before. “I know, just admiring them.”

Jungkook wants to hit himself the second his reply spewed out of his mouth. He desperately wants to reassure your unimpressed (though also very cute) face, because goddammit he wanted to be respectful. Jungkook knows he has a tendency to slip into a new personality when the right amount of people hyped him. Call it being two faced, he knows it's one of his fatal flaws.

“I'm sorry.”

He says it genuinely.

Jungkook only just got to properly meet you, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression! He can admit, your first ever official meeting (moreso hookup) wasn’t ideal, yet the way Jin dragged him through the mud undoubtedly made him understand that you weren’t the type of woman that should ever undergo the treatment he puts his hookups through. Scratch that, any woman shouldn’t be treated the way Jungkook treats them.

You're now fully covered under the towel, not a sliver of skin on display. You don’t know if his apology was genuine. “It’s ok I guess, I expected nothing less from you anyways.”

“Right.” He’s messed up.

You clear your throat, “I’m gonna go get changed, maybe look for Jieun unless-”

Jungkook finishes your sentence, “-she’s fucking Yoongi.”

You exhale, “yeah.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The voice makes you halt at its familiar tone. Jungkook doesn’t notice your growing panic as he too freezes in his spot.

No, it can’t be.

The world plays in slow motion when he walks into your line of vision. His assertive stride, smug smile and sharp eyes.

Jeong Suho.

His name explodes inside of you like a blistering fire yet your heart feels ice cold. He is the very man you have spent weeks trying to avoid and even more trying to get out of your head.

The world plays at a normal speed when he approaches Jungkook. Their facial expressions are the same, the way they greet each other is the same. They’re practically the same breed of fuckboy, born from the same mother.

“Been awhile since I’ve seen you around.”

Jeong Suho was a person that Jungkook didn’t really mind, In fact there was a point in Jungkook’s life where he would’ve considered Suho to be one of his closest friends. They were two peas in a pod freshmen year of college. Never giving a fuck about their education and always present for any opportunity to get completely wasted with as many girls they could possibly seduce. Nowadays, Jungkook would rather keep his distance from him.

On the contrary, you were one of the many girls that had fallen deeply for Suho’s alluring charm. You fell so hard, you thought that maybe just maybe there was a possibility that you could secure a future with him. Obviously that was not the case.

You thank your lucky stars that Jungkook was there to distract Suho while you make your haste escape. All you need to do now is somehow locate an unoccupied bathroom, preferably without having to walk in on someone getting it on, and then you could get the hell out of there.

You must admit, you look quite ridiculous right now. Navy blue towel wrapped tightly around your body, your small head peeking through. You could probably pass as some form of E.T cosplay right now. You don’t care if you look rude, pushing and shoving whoever stands in your way. You only have one goal and you’re so so close to succeeding-

“Wait, Y/N! Is that you?”

Fuck.

Do you run? Maybe duck behind some poor innocent student looking for a good time? You huff, you're already sticking out like a sore thumb, there’s no use in trying to hide when the enemy has already spotted you. Even worse Jungkook motions you over with a wide gleaming smile. If only he knew how much you’re dreading this interaction.

Grudgingly, you walk over, looking like an irritated gremlin with your towel still firmly secured around you. Jungkook makes matters worse by pushing the towel off your head, releasing your scruffy ball of hair. You grimace.

“I didn’t know you knew Y/N?”

Suho sends a smirk your way. You however, glower.

“Yeah we go way back, don’t we baby?”

You force a tight lipped smile, howbeit you look as if you have a mild case of constipation.

“Sure.” It comes out rough through gritted teeth.

Suho notes your frustration, a sly grin carving onto his punchable face. He turns towards Jungkook, seemingly blocking you from their conversation, yet you know Suho wants you to hear what he has to say.

“You know it’s a shame. Y/N’s gorgeous, ten outta ten body, knows how to put it to good use, however she never let me fuck her. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

Jungkook stays silent for a minute, eyeing your shaking fists and angry eyebrows. Jungkook may be dumb, but he sure knows how to read a room, thus leading him to the conclusion that your relationship with Suho isn’t something you’re very fond of and that he should probably get you out of here.

“Uhhh no, that’s not weird at all actually. What I think is weird is the fact that you think you have this sick claim on every girl you’ve defiled and even worse, you’ve always had this strange need to chase after every virgin you see like some perverted cherry picker. Yeah, that’s weird.”

Suho laughs right in his face, spit grossly tickling his skin. “That’s rich coming from you Jeon, weren't you quite the cherry picker in your freshman days, no?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he expected from this conversation. It definitely wasn’t this.

It's obvious that Jungkook isn’t a saint, he really fucking far from it. Although, one thing's for sure, it’s his absolute hatred for the way his brain was wired in his freshman year of college. Yes, Jungkook still remains as one of the standing campus fuckboys but he’s gained a few more brain cells since then.

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, only to be met with Suho’s back as he turns his attention towards you.

“Y/N, darling if I were you i’d make a run for it, ya know keep your chastity intact or whatever.” His smile is saccharine sweet, though his words are sickly sour.

The months of pent up anger stored within your being bubbles and overflows like a bad science experiment. You’ve quickly decided that now’s that time to expose the shitty excuse of a man, and quite frankly you don’t care that you have an audience. Actually, an audience would make this all the better.

Your finger is strong, pointing accusingly at his broad chest. “You know what you stupid motherfucker? Don’t waltz in here with that dumb smile of yours when you know you have some disgusting cheesy infection growing down there.”

Suho’s eyes widen slightly. It was no secret he was a walking STD, just about infecting every girl that was naive enough to sit on his dick.

Everyone at the party has definitely stopped to listen to what you have to say. You even spot Jin from the corner of your eye sending you a proud smile. “And while we're on the topic of cheese, Learn how to wash your fucking dick!”

You don’t let him have a moment to speak, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

A few people applaud, some girls praise you on your way out. You give them no mind, you’ve had enough for tonight.

Jungkook starts his car, no questions asked. It’s obvious to him that there’s bad blood between you and Suho. What you don’t know is that Jungkook can also relate.

Technically there was no bad blood between them, moreso the hurtful memories and manipulation Suho put him through. To put it simply, Suho was probably the worst influence Jungkook could ever have as a vunerable freshman.

The crunch of gravel and soft melodies that spill out of Jungkook’s radio converse with eachother and fill the defeaning silence that sits between you and Jungkook.

Jungkook doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives.

Every so often he checks up on you from the corner of his eye. Your knees stick tightly together and point away from him. Your fingers curl and uncurl, leaving cresent moons in your skin. And to finish it off, your face remains still, hostility completely washing over your features. If Jungkook didn’t know any better he would think you’d jump out of his car and make a run for it at the chance of him stopping the car.

It’s seven sniffles later when Jungkook decides he knows where he should take you.

The night sky is clear and the stars burn brightly to accompany the full round moon. It’s the perfect setting for release and maybe a screaming session if you’re up for it.

Jungkook makes a stop behind a forest of tall trees and a dirt path. You sit up immediately.

“Where are we?” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, “I want to go home.”

Jungkook shuts the engine off, “you never told me where you live.”

“Well you never asked!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled because from the looks of it, Jungkook just wants to help you out and clearly you’re not being the friendliest right now.

You curl back into yourself, “sorry”, another sniffle.

Jungkook brings your fists into his hands and warmly opens them up. You refuse to look at him, it doesn’t deter Jungkook one bit.

Tenderly he brings a finger under your chin, gradually bringing your eyes up to his. Jungkook takes his time with you, careful to not set you off until you’re face to face with his warm eyes.

“I brought you here because it’s apparent we both need let out some pent up steam.” He drags his fingers delicately across the curve of your chin and back into his lap. His touch is fleeting, you miss it already. “I just thought you may want to vent or just shout out into the void, it’s up to you.” You nod, fully trusting Jungkook’s intentions. “And at any time you feel like going home just say the word and I’ll take you there, okay?”

Your heart swells in adoration at his caring nature, though you can’t help but wonder how he can have such a sudden change in personality depending on where he is and who he’s with. It’s unnerving.

Jungkook clicks his seatbelt off and heads out the car, “put your dress back on princess, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” You mutter your confirmation and do as he asks.

The cool summer air kisses your skin and runs through your hair as you step out of the car. Jungkook is already by your side dressed in an oversize hoodie with another in his hand as well as a fuzzy blanket.

Jungkook steps closer to you, holding the hem of his hoodie to slip over your body. Without a second thought you raise your hands causing Jungkook to chuckle at how cute you look dwarfed in his clothes.

The same cologne you smelled on his skin earlier lingers on every fibre of fabric around you. His scent is everywhere, swirling around your head, instantly calming down your anxieties. You smile at him, “Lead the way Jungkook.”

Jungkook leads you up a small hill and you notice the trees opening up to display a lush field of grass. However, the sight before you leaves you in absolute wonder. You stand completely still and take it all in.

The night sky is dark but the city below illuminates is beautifully. Your gaze bounces over all the buildings, skyscrapers and their dazzling bright lights. It’s peaceful up here, you decide as you take a glimpse of the hundreds of tall structures looking so tiny, so ant-like.

Jungkook is settled behind you, his legs comfortably folded underneath himself. He remembers what it was like the first time he saw the view, which is why he doesn’t blame your stunned silence and glazed eyes.

“How did you find this place?”

You find your way towards Jungkook and plant yourself right beside him. “I don’t know, I was just driving aimlessly one night and found it, It’s nice right.”

You hum, “it’s beautiful.”

Jungkook murmurs in agreement as you lie down on the woolly blanket beneath you. The stars twinkle and glimmer amongst the deep blue sky, creating a serene experience. You shut your eyes.

“I hate him.”

Jungkook looks down at you, you don’t see him though. “Suho?”

“Yeah”, you exhale deeply, “I can’t believe I had to see him again.”

Although Jungkook knows you can’t see him, he swivels his body around to face you properly. “Did you guys date or something?”

You scoff, “pffft you know Suho doesn’t date anyone.” You open your eyes, meeting a pair of round docile ones. You continue, “Suho was the first guy who every gave me an ounce of attention. Before him guys never looked my way. Jungkook remains silent, letting you pour out what’s on your mind.

“Suho had me fooled, I thought I was special to him, thought he saw something in me that was different from the others. Turns out that was his game after all”

You speak so animatedly, your hands wave around in the air, your eyebrows scrunch when the memories come back to you. “It’s stupid really, how I used to gush to him about finding the one person in the universe that was created just for me. I guess he used this as my weak point.”

Inhale, exhale.

“He made me believe he was that special person for me, used it as an excuse to pressure me into sex.” A tear rolls down the side of your face, falling perfectly in a straight line. “I almost gave in, but something just felt so wrong. Every time I said no he would call me terrible names, tell me that no one would want me if I never gave them what they wanted. And I believed him.”

Another tear escapes your wet orbs, Jungkook is there to wipe it this time.

“I broke it off after I found out he fucked my roommate and gave her some disease.” You chuckle, “I guess I’m lucky I never let him fuck me huh?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at your saddened eyes and the way Suho treated you, he sweeps a stray hair out of you face. “I think you dodged a bullet there princess, what he did to you was pure evil, no one, and especially you don’t deserve that”

You sit up, wiping remaining tears and thanking him as you go, “It’s your turn now.” You pat his thigh, “tell me why Suho got you so riled up tonight.”

Jungkook shuffles in his spot, “It’s actually kind of similar to you.”

You gasp sarcastically, “no way he pressured you into sex too?”

He laughs, eyes squeezing shut, “No, no, nothing like that.”

You lean closer to Jungkook, giving him the same attention he had given you. “My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant with me, so growing up I had no male figure present in my life. My mother stopped at nothing to give me that to the point that almost every week I’d wake up and see a new man drinking out of my favourite mug. I didn’t mind it because I was only a child and some part of me always hoped they would stay, but they never did.”

“My mom was a hopeless romantic. She held so much sentimental and idealistic views on love that it stuck to me. She always told me that there was someone special out there just for me.” You smile at the similar belief, Jungkook sighs.

“Cut to college, Suho was the first friend I made. I had no experience with girls whatsoever, and I still held on to my mother’s faith. Whenever I talked to Suho about it he would always shut me down or make fun of me.”

“He told me that all my feelings are bullshit, and that I only felt that way because I’ve never hooked up with anyone before. Next thing I knew we were going to parties every week getting absolutely shitfaced and fucking every girl I laid eyes on.”

You nod, listening intently. “And tonight, he hit a nerve. What he said made me realise that I’m just as bad as him. He moulded me into this person and now I have a reputation.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop, “he broke my concept of love before I even got to experience it.”

You never knew Jungkook was in a place like this. You always thought he was like Suho, built to break hearts and show no emotion when it came to love. Jungkook was nothing like that. His heart was truly big, desperately longing for someone.

Placing your hand on top of his own you comfort him as best as you can, “oh, Jungkook, trust me when I tell you this, the love in your heart is not broken. Think about it, most people you’ve met have been through college right?” He nods, “there are so many other people out there that you’ve never met, soon you’ll be able to find that someone and learn how to love. I know you present yourself as this emotionless playboy, but once you let that part of you go it’ll feel so freeing.”

Jungkook stares deeply into your eyes, he’s so thankful that he decided to bring you here, he can’t contain his happiness.

“Can I like, hug you?” Jungkook asks shyly. You smile, and it’s so big and bright Jungkook might as well be staring at the sun. Before he knows it, you’re tackling him into the most wholesome hug he’s ever had. You’re warm and you smell like vanilla, It feels like home.

“Get up”, he says abruptly, extending his arm to pull up your confused self.

“What-”, Jungkook cuts you off, “have you ever just let yourself scream?”

Jungkook has intertwined your hands together, and your heart pounds at the realisation of how well they fit together. “Well, no but I assume that’s what we’re about to do right now.”

He pulls you closer to the edge of the small hill, the view of the city sparkles right in front of you. “On the count of three, one- two- three!”

You scream, you let it all out and God does it feel refreshing.

The two of you sound utterly insane, but none you give a single fuck. You scream until your lungs burn and your throat itches you to stop.

The volume of both of your voices ring out into the night sky only for the moon, stars and yourselves. The night is still young but Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.

With you he lets go of everything, all the past mistakes, all the hurt because at this moment he feels like he could fly, soar into the clouds.

He feels infinite.

Taglist <3

@zibermuda @uskookie @jeonscandies @melaninkpops @apollukee @hollowtree10 @liliskies @madygswich @pjmochii @eggbutnotyolk @gyukult @yukiehyukie @purplepearl07 (couldn’t tag) @tae165 @youurkryptonite @94ser0da @french-myfries @zippytheshark37 (couldn’t tag) @we8joon @tearvantae @emrysts @inspinkyring

#ficswithluv #h0neypjm #mine #jungkook #Jungkook Fanfiction #jungkook smut #bts #bts fanfiction #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jimin #taehyung #hoseok #seokjin #yoongi #namjoon

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ijustwant2write · 4 years ago

Text

Call Me By My Name-Pietro Maximoff x Powers!Reader

(GIF credit to @dailymarvelposts)

Tags: @bloodorangemoonlight @amirahiddleston

Requested by @husherstan : ‘could you write a one w pietro maximoff? idk if you know about a trend on tik tok where a gf or bf call them partners by they first name. Reader and Pietro are enemies cuz them both are always trying to be the best of t team, reader calls him by others names and when she (or gn) calls by him real name he was like "why are you calling me like that? whats wrong with you? are you feeling bad today?" (and he likes her so fucking much, a simp)’

Characters: Pietro Maximoff x Reader, Avengers team x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Character has the power of force fields, that both generate electricity and provide protection for them/others)

Warnings: Name calling, bullying, arguing, fluff

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“For the last time, watch where you’re going Speedy Gonzales!” I snapped as Pietro almost knocked me over again.

His form whizzed around the room once more before stopping in front of me.“Maybe try keeping up next time.”

I was startled by the force he left behind as he ran off again making a show of circling the entire training room multiple times, creating a small wave of air. I groaned loudly as I went back to jogging. He was such a show off, it infuriated me. We weren’t here to compete against each other, we were supposed to be a team; but when he waltzed around the place boasting about how fast he was, it was really hard not to step up to the plate.

Pietro was running faster than usual, trying to overlap me dozens of times, more than he would have done in a normal session. It got on my last nerve, making me stop, my powers already flowing through my arms. It would be hard to pinpoint him, so I charged up a huge ball of electricity, casting it out harshly. I just managed to catch him, laughing as he yelped out in surprise, being thrown high into the air before landing on the sparring mats. I saw him slowly get up, clearly I had caused some pain. My fun was soon ended as he ran towards me again, having to quickly put up a force field that would protect me. Pietro bounced off it, though I hadn’t put any charge in this one, so he only fell on his backside.

“Enough!” Wanda yelled out, though we still kept our guard up around each other.“Really (Y/N)? You can relax now.”

“I don’t trust him.” I replied.

She sighed.“Come on, Steve wants to talk about the mission.”

“Why? We debriefed three days ago.”

“Something to do with it being on the news.” she shrugged, walking away.

Pietro glanced back at me, looking me up and down before following his sister. However, he didn’t look at me with disgust or anything of the sort, it was almost as if he was checking me out. I tutted at myself, why on Earth would he ever look at me like that?

I wasn’t happy joining the meeting in my sweaty state.Everyone else was dressed and put together, but at least Pietro looked similar. The team was gathered around a table, looking to Steve who was stood at the front, his arms crossed over his chest. He had the look of disappointment on his face, which meant bad news for the rest of us...or whoever was in trouble. With no seats left, I copied Steve’s stance at the back of the room, rolling my eyes when Pietro stood beside me.

“Sorry to call you guys in on such short notice.” Steve started.“But I feel that we have to discuss something that’s starting to effect the team.”

He pulled up a screen showing the news. It had images and videos of our last mission. We were raiding an old factory on the edge of the city, finding a terrorist group hiding out there as they worked on their gadgets. News coverage showed the team fighting from a helicopter view, and we were all confused as to why Steve was showing us this.

“Fastest man alive,” Pietro repeated what the reporter said,“it has a nice ring to it.”

“I wouldn’t put that in your Tinder bio.” I quipped, causing a few chuckles.

Steve looked at me.“And this is why we’re here today.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.“What?”

“You and Pietro are always at each other’s throats. It’s...well frankly, it’s exhausting listening to you two arguing all the time. And it could seriously put someone in danger whilst on a mission, even you two.”

“He always starts it-”

Pietro held up a finger.“Hold on, you do too-”

“You’re just proving his point guys.” Natasha spoke over us.

“As I was saying,” Steve brought the attention back to him,“the media has also caught onto this. There’s multiple images of you two clearly arguing, or even getting in each others way during the mission. At one point, you’re both trying to save the same person, but almost miss that chance because you’re so invested in being better than the other!”

Steve was really mad, and from everyone else’s faces, they thought the same thing.

“So until all of this changes, you two are suspended from any missions.”

“What?!” we both exclaimed.

“And you may not approach any other team member for assistance with training.”

“Why are we both being punished?” I demanded to know.

“Oh, do not play the victim here Mrs Incredible!” Pietro snapped.

“Mrs Incredible is super stretchy, it’s the daughter who has the same powers as me, you idiot!”

“See? You’re further showing me that I made the right decision. I felt bad at first, but now I know that this is the right direction to go in.” Steve raised his voice.“You’re both dismissed.”

“Well, what are the rest of you doing?” Pietro dared to ask.

“We are going to go over all the planning we have done for upcoming missions. Everything has to change because of you two. Now please go.”

I held it together as I left the room, not wanting to appear like a toddler stomping away in a tantrum. It was impossible to get away from Pietro, what with him being ‘the fastest man alive’, but I was going to try. I didn’t need another argument right now, I was upset, needed to be alone. Apparently, I wasn’t going to get that.

“Leave me alone.” I warned Pietro as he followed me.

“I can’t believe this! They’ve kicked us off the team because you always have to say something-”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“And to think, they’re going to risk not having me on the team. I help them with everything, I’m a crucial part-”

“Pietro!” I shouted, spinning on my heel to face him.

His eyes widened at that, glancing down to my clenched up fists, little electric sparks running over them, before looking me in my teary eyes.

I sighed, relaxing my tense shoulders and hands before leaving. There was no point trying to explain. He wouldn’t understand. We would both get mad, probably fight, the team would have to break us up; I had no energy to do that. Slowly turning away, I was surprised by the silence that followed, Pietro didn’t even follow me.

I checked the time on the lock screen of my phone, seeing that an hour had passed since I fled from Pietro. It also made me realise how dark the room had become, the sun would set in a few minutes. But I didn’t bother turning on any lights, instead leaning back again on the chair. I was sat in an empty lobby, it was a small room, facing the floor to ceiling window that showed the landscape that surrounded the headquarters. Besides just sitting here, I should have distracted myself. Perhaps put on a film, relax after training, something to take my mind off of things. Instead, I decided to sit with my thoughts.

“H-hey.” I heard Pietro quietly say from the doorway.

Looking over my shoulder, I didn’t reply, facing the window again when he began walking towards me. He hesitantly turned on a lamp near us, sitting on the chair beside mine. Pietro also looked out of the window, clasping his hands together for a few seconds before fidgeting. I tried to ignore it, though after an hour of peace and nothingness, it became irritating quickly.

“Can you stop?” I blurted out.“Please?”

“Are you annoyed by everything I do?” he asked.

“Not...everything. I just...doesn’t matter, it’s not like you care anyway.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’m not falling for this Pietro.”

“Why are you saying my name?”

“What?”

“You never say my name. Actually, we never say each others names.”

“And why does that matter?”

“It just feels, it feels serious.”

“I mean, we’ve basically been kicked off the team, so yeah, it’s serious.”

“We’ve not been kicked off the team (Y/N).”

“We could be if we don’t get our act together.”

“It won’t go that far-”

“But it could! I can’t believe how calm you are about the whole thing.” I stood, distancing myself from him.“I’ve worked too hard for this. Imagine what would happen if word got out that I was disbanded from the Avengers because of a tiny argument, with a team member who is so narcissistic that he can’t put others before himself!”

I realised I had began ranting, stopping myself before I said anything else hurtful. But by the look of Pietro’s face, it was already too late.

“I...I’m sorry (Y/N).” he never broke eye contact.“And before you say anything, I mean it.”

“Pietro, I-”

“I can see how much this job means to you.”

“It’s my fault too. I always try to outdo you or challenge you.”

“No, don’t be humble.” he got out of his seat, standing in front of me.“It’s almost always my fault that we argue. And I hate myself for it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m usually very good with the ladies.” he grinned, though it disappeared when he realised it wasn’t time to joke.“But not around you apparently. It’s probably because you’re extremely strong and sure of yourself, and I go for a different type, the polar opposite to you.”

“Pietro, I...um...”

“I was really impressed by you when we first met. It made me nervous actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, all I can do is run really fast.”

“But, you’ve been on much more missions than I have. Doesn’t that say something?” I hung my head.

“Are you crazy? You’re not on those missions because they don’t need you.”

My head whipped up to see his smile drop.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant that those missions are for Avengers like me. The ones they can use over and over without worrying about them being too tired for the next one. What I’m trying to say is, you’re too important.”

“I never thought I would say this, but Pietro, you’re an important part of the team too. I always rose to your challenges because I felt I needed to prove something to the others. I was new, then I was accepted after all my relentless training, but when you and Wanda came along, I instantly became old news. And you didn’t even go through the rigorous regimes like I did, so I just assumed you were better than me.”

“It seems we were both wrong about each other. We were going through a lot of effort to outdo the other when we could have saved that energy for...well, anything else really.”

“Yeah. I suppose so.”

Pietro held his hand out.“Truce?”

I smiled up at him as I shook it.“Truce.”

A cheeky smirk appeared as he raised an eyebrow at me.“Let’s not tell the team about this just yet. I feel like there would be a lot of ‘I told you so’.”

“It’s like you read my mind.”

“And another thing.”

I noticed he was still holding my hand, though they were lowered now, and his grip wasn’t as firm.“Yes?”

“Can we start calling each other by our actual names?”

“I mean, I assumed we would anyway.”

“Oh, good. I just...”

“You just?”

“I just like the way it sounds when you say my name.”

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bakubros-boo-thang · 3 years ago

Text

Disrespected Devil

Wordcount: -4K

Lucifer x F!Reader

Summary: When you disrespect the demon king, Lucifer is forced to say goodbye to you.

Genre: Angst, smutt, slight fluff, but tbh just angst

A/N: So another first. Not only my first time writing for the Obey me fandom (I have a major Obey me brain rot), but also my first time writing angst and I felt depressed after finishing this (which I did a second ago). I love Diavolo, but I needed a reason for the goodbye to happen so even if his dad is the villain, he is the one to execute it... Hope you enjoy this story.

Warning: NSFW, mentioning of being paralyzed I guess.

‘’What’s with Luci today?’’ ‘’He looks more pissed of than usual…’’ ‘’He probably listened to classical music too long and forgot his homework.’’ ‘’Lucifer forgetting his homework will never happen, but if it did he would look like this.’’ Hearing all those whispers during dinner time is nothing new for you. Tonight is different though. You know why he’s mad and you know who’s the blame. But it’s not as if you don’t have a reason to be just as upset. As dinner slowly ends you know there is only a small gap to avoid a situation. ‘’Beel, how about we go bake something for later this evening?’’ You say, as you cling onto the huge redhead. You know that food is a trigger and you know that this is the way to hide from HIM. ‘’Alright, sounds delicious!’’ He doesn’t seem to notice the way you hold onto him for dear life and the same goes for the others. Clearly, they’ve gotten so used to you that it’s not even necessary to be by your side 24/7. It’s not as if they know tonight will be the last time they see you. It’s a small moment of weakness and you feel your heart clench by the thought of leaving those boys. It’s enough to make you lose your grip on Beel's arm. Enough to bend over, because it physically hurts to leave them behind and enough for Lucifer to finally notice you and come to your aid. ‘’Beel, I think she ate something wrong. No cake tonight, I will see her to her room.’’

And with that, he scoops you up and takes you upstairs. Of course, your room is not an option. It’s way too close to the other rooms. No place to yell. No, Lucifer’s room is soundproof. Made for his nights spent with loud classical music and also made for the occasional screaming match with one of his brothers. As he enters the room, he carefully puts you down on his bed. ‘’Are you feeling alright, Y/n?’’ He says as he lays his palm against your forehead. The feeling of sadness is gone, already replaced by nerves. You know what’s coming. You know you won’t hold back. Will this be your last fight with Lucifer? The question never makes it to the surface, because the moment you nod your head in ensurement, Lucifer opens his mouth. ‘’Good, because you have no idea how foolish you acted today.’’ As mentioned before this room reminds you of the occasional screaming matches he must’ve had with his brothers, but never with you. Pissing Lucifer off is easy. You’ve done that plenty of times. Even made him show his true form, but making him scream, that is something you never achieved. Still, it is worth the try. Tonight is your last chance. As you get up you take a look at his face. What faces you is the cold expression he usually shows when he’s done with someone’s bullshit. The expression you have already mirrored back to him. ‘’So you are going to ignore me?’’ I’m not going to answer him. ‘’Are you serious?’’ I am not going to say a word. ‘’Should I spell out what you did?’’ Don’t say a thing. ‘’You just signed your death certificate.’’ His voice cracks and even though it’s far from the scream you aimed for. It’s still the first sign of emotion from the man you care about so much. ‘’Diavolo didn’t seem upset by what I said?!’’ You can’t help but talk louder. especially after being silent for the past few minutes. ‘’ As if he is going to kill me? ME?! And ruin the bonds that are being formed with the humans?’’

You can feel the tears in your eyes, this fight might’ve been about you being disrespectful in some way, but for you it was different. All this time getting closer with all the brothers. All this time loving them. All this time being there for them. It made you realize that the only one who made it difficult was him. With every step getting closer to each other; there were always a few steps back. An obsession with keeping up appearance, an obsession over a promise he would keep no matter what, an obsession with being a stuck-up asshole; That was Lucifer in a nutshell for you. And still, you couldn’t help being drawn to him. As a moth drawn to a flame. Even when the flame could easily kill the moth. Just as easily Lucifer could kill you. And it’s not as if he hadn’t tried that before. ‘’Y/n, You disrespected his father. I had to bargain for you to even leave the castle. The first time I trusted you enough to take you with me alone. And this is how you behave? You know what he wanted to do to Belphegor…’’ You know this story is his weakness. The reason he ended up becoming the lapdog of his so-called best friend. Still, it only makes you more upset to hear him say it. Even when you can hear the slightest hint of emotion in his voice; his eyes stay just as cold as usual. ‘’He is your best friend, isn’t he? He is my friend too, right? You always do this Lucifer! You always get mad over things and it never solves anything. You get mad at me for having fun. You get mad at me for trying to help. You get mad at me for trying to get closer to you. You don’t share things with me! Maybe Diavolo should’ve locked me up. Might as well get myself killed; it’s not as if you never tried to kill me…’’ Your voice is loud as you speak, but his silence is louder. He just stares at you and then it happens.

It’s not that you’re scared you’ve seen his true form before. It’s just as beautiful as him, but it’s also something that happens when he’s full of rage, just as that one time he tried to kill you. You can feel yourself freeze under his gaze. You can feel yourself moving away from him until you reach the headboard of his bed. Still, he moves closer. Until his lips are inches away from your ears. No screams, only whispers; what a way to say goodbye. ‘’DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!’’ You are so shocked by the volume of his voice, the bass it carries, that it takes some time to realize he has more to say. Your ear is beeping as he moves his lips away and locks his gaze onto you. ‘’DIAVOLO IS NOT THE FUCKING PROBLEM, Y/N, HIS DAD IS. YOU INSULTED THE KING OF DEVILDOM IN FRONT OF HIS SON AND MULTIPLE WITNESSES. DIAVOLO CAN’T DO SHIT ABOUT THAT.’’ Only now do you notice the way his hands are gripping your arms; The way his expression has changed from cold to almost desperate. ‘’That guy has only been able to do what his dad wanted. Our friendship is real, but if his father told him to kill me, he would do it without hesitation. Do you really think he would think twice about killing you? IF HE WOULD KILL ME -HIS BEST FRIEND- IN AN INSTANT?” You notice the tears in his eyes. Lucifer is screaming and crying, but this isn’t a win. Before your heart breaks again, his arms are around you and his face is hidden in your neck, but that doesn’t stop the words. ‘’I had to send you away. I had to be cold. They know I care about you, but not to this extent. I had to pretend it was for the sake of the bonds. After you left I had to beg on my knees for your survival. I had to beg. The avatar of pride begged someone on his knees. It was all Lillith over again…’’

There is nothing you can say to fix this. It might’ve slipped your mind while you were there. But you were surrounded by royalty. What might’ve seemed innocent for you, was clearly a lot for them and now you had to leave everyone you loved behind. You can feel the tears fall from your eyes. “I’m sorry Luci, I truly am.” It won’t help, but it’s the least you can say as you look up into his eyes. He is still in his true form, but even with his wings all spread out, he has never looked more vulnerable. There is a sad smile on his lips as he caresses your cheek. “I know you are, you fool.” He says with no trace of the rage he had before. “ I don't want to leave you all…I don't want to leave you!” You know that you sound like a small child that already knows he lost and that’s exactly what you feel like. “It’s too late for that now, Y/n. Diavolo gave me tonight to say my goodbyes.” You try to distract yourself by focusing on his raven colored wings. “So that means I can’t say goodbye to the rest…” The pain is back. Never being a fool with Mammon, never dressing up with Levi, doing make-up with Asmo, reading books with Satan, eating with Beel or sleeping with Belphie. You can’t help but grab your chest again. “Are you okay?” Lucifer is supporting you within seconds as he asks the question. “No I’m not, but atleast I get to say goodbye to you.” And as you look up he leans in and gives you a tiny peck on the lips. “I’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.” He lets out. You can’t help but smile as you pull him back towards you. “Let's make it a proper goodbye then.” You whisper as you pull him back to your lips.

It’s not like it’s your first kiss with Lucifer, but it’s the last and that’s what makes it so much more special. It’s the combination of mutual sadness and desperation, the hint of rage still brewing somewhere deep inside the both of you. He knows your body, the way it will arch when he pushes you all the way down onto the bed. The tiny gasps when he starts kissing your neck. The way you look away when he starts kissing all the way down your body. ‘’Please keep looking at me, dear. I want you to see how much I am going to miss you.’’ It’s enough to make your heart flutter, the way he starts to attack your core with his tongue right away. It’s obvious he is in a hurry, but even with all the sadness, it’s the best way there is. You can’t help your moans; You’re lucky his room is soundproof. He’s fast, maybe too fast, but with everything that’s going on, it’s the best you can get. And that’s what it is. The best, because within a few minutes you can feel yourself starting to reach that point. The knot in your stomach tightens. your hands end up in his hair and with one loud moan, you erupt around him.

‘’I know that Mammon claims he was your first… in multiple ways… and not to discredit my brother, but I intend to be your last in all of them.’’ He says as he looks at you while he licks his lips. Him saying those words, the way he just made you lose your mind. It feels good, after all the fighting, teasing, kisses and losses , you’re with the man you love. You don’t want to ruin the mood. You’re really trying, but the moment you hear yourself thinking about loving him, about leaving him, about leaving his brothers, you just break. The tears start to form in your eyes and as you try to wipe them away you feel something on your arms. Lucifer. His eyes are cold again as he moves up to face you. ‘’Don’t hide your tears. I am just as sad.’’ He takes a long look at you, lets out a sign, and lays next to you as he caresses your back. ‘’I don’t want to play the ‘’Who has it worse’’ game, truly, I don’t want to, but in all the years I’ve been in heaven and hell, you’re the first human to have ever make my blood boil. Both from nerves and anger nonetheless, but losing you. Losing the one that made my family whole, the one that makes me feel all these emotions, the one that I love, hurts.’’ You can’t help but raise your brow. when he notices your expression he lets out a laugh.

You feel his hand grab your chin and suddenly your lips are only inches apart. ‘’I know you love me, Y/n. I’ve always known. Falling for you, was what surprised me.’’ You can’t help, but roll your eyes at him. Trying to ignore the way his hand feels on your back. The way it slowly moves it’s way to your hips. ‘’You know I do love all your brothers quite a lot too…’’ You say with all the confidence you have left. ‘’I know you do, but still I am the one that has you laying here. Practically begging for more.’’ He let’s out a chuckle as he pulls you closer. ‘’Let’s end this conversation, there’s not enough time.’’ And with that he’s on top of you. You know there isn’t much time, but when he starts to unbotton his shirt it’s as if time slows down. Of course he notices your looks and can’t help to give you a sly smirk. ‘’Don’t worry your next.’’ Is all he says as he takes his shirt off and starts tugging on yours. After your shirt is taken off he takes a look at your body and all you see is adoration on his face. ‘’I want to see all of you.’’ It makes your body flutter. ‘’You’re absolutely breathtaking.’’ He whispers. All this praise makes you feel weak. You try to grab his face, but as you put your arms up they fall down. You feel weak. Not because of his words, but something else. You see Lucifers expression change, the adorations is switched to concern, then back to concentration and before you know it he scoops you in his arms and makes you straddle him.

He’s looking at you, but not really. Obviously talking to himself. ‘’He wanted to be sure…’’ And as he says it he’s back. Back to giving you a sad smile. ‘’What’s going on?’’ Is all you let out. Is all you can let out, as you feel your body weighing more and more. He notices you getting weaker, making sure your settled between him and the headboard of the bed, before he speaks again. ‘’I think it’s time… Barbatos must’ve cast a spell… something that gave us a time limit. The probably knew it would be hard saying my goodbyes to you. Now I’m forced to make haste, just to make sure you’re safe.’’ You can’t even respond. You can move, but barely and all you can do is watch as Lucifer grabs his shirt. As he moves away from you, you’re sure of it. No this is not the way we’re going to say our goodbyes. It needs to be on our terms. Of course those words never leave your lips, but with all the power you have you reach out to him and as he looks back you let out a: ‘’No...not like this.’’ And maybe it’s the few words you’ve spoken, or the way your arm is trembling from all the power it takes to hold on to him, but he crawls back to you. His face is right above yours and if it’s not your eyes making it obvious what you want, you’re mouth will do. ‘’Take me…’’ It’s not a lot of words, but with the face you’re making and the fact that you guys were just in the middle of it, it doesn’t take much guessing. You can see that he’s thinking about it, obviously worried for you, but you can see his eyes change the moment it clicks.

His wings ar still there and you wished you could touch them, feel them one last time, but you should be lucky by what you can still get.’’I used to be a rebel, so why not know.’’ He laughs quietly before he lays you flat on your back. ‘’I’m going to take care of you my love, promise me to let me know when it’s too much or when you want to stop.’’ You nod your head and you know that your eyes tell him all he needs to know. How bad you want him, how even when you were able to just talk normally, you would want this goodbye to be said only in silence. His body is hovering over yours, his hand touching your neck, giving you goosebumps. ‘’Does this feel nice?’’ he whispers as his hands move towards your breasts. You can only let out a tiny gasp and that tells him enough. ‘’I wish we had more time…’’ Is all he says as his finger enters your core. The moan that escapes you is loader then the both of you would’ve expected. As he continues to stretch you out with one hand, his other starts to prep his cock. ‘’Wish I could… do that for you.’’ You manage to say. You can’t keep your eyes from him. The way he’s hovering over you. His finger inside of you and the way you can’t do anything except for your stares, moans and gasps. ‘’All I want is to feel you right now, my love.’’

And with that he places the tip right in front of your entrance. He makes sure your faces are only inches apart and as he slowly slides into you, his arms make there way to your sides. He’s holding you as he bottoms out in you and the only thing you can do is let out a long moan. He starts moving slowly, tender, putting all his love in every trust. He’s the only one speaking from time to time. ‘’I love you’s’’ and ‘’You feel so good’ s’’ are filling the room. All that praise, all the love in his eyes. The fact that he’s not only literally hitting all your spots, but also the spots in your mind, is what does it for you. You feel yourself unravel under him. You’re so close, that you start to tear up. Your eyes are filled with tears, mostly because of how good this feels, the fact that you’re making love on stolen time, but also because the time is probably running out soon. Lucifer never increases his speed. When he notices your tears he quickly wipes them away and as his hand caresses your swollen cheek he whispers: Don’t cry, my love, let us enjoy these last moments.’’ And just as he is about to give you a kiss on the lips you whisper a soft ‘’Love you Lucifer.’’ You notice his eyes being red as well and it’s devastating, but it feels so good. the way he keeps a steady pace has you reaching your peak and these final ‘’I love you’s’’, the final kisses is all you need to feel yourself tightening around him. He’s close too, because the moment he feels you tighten around his cock he gives you one firmer stroke and that’s all he needs to cum inside of you. He falls next to you and quickly takes you in his arms. ‘’I wish we could stay like this forever. I would sell my soul… but I guess in some way my soul has already been sold.’’ And all you can do is give him a sad smile before your eyes close.

Lucifer knew that it was time. You were starting to feel cold, too cold. After putting on some clothes and making sure you were fully clothed, he grabbed the coin Barbatos had given him. ‘’Use this before the time runs out.’’ So he had warned him for the curse. He knew he couldn’t be mad at his friends. He couldn’t be mad at you, he could only blame himself. He had shown his weakness by loving you. But you loved his brothers, loved him, despite all he stood for, without any shame. And even with the way it felt like he was going to lose you forever, it still meant the world he had the honor of getting to know you. The moment the coin was thrown a portal started to form and as he grabbed your cold body the darkness swallowed the two of you. As he opened his eyes he saw nothing, but darkness. It took a few minutes to notice that he was in a room. It must’ve been yours, because he noticed a picture of you next to a bed. He was going to take the picture, he was a rebel after all. As he tucked you in, he was at a loss for words. So all he could do was give you one last kiss on the forehead. Not being able to stop the tears falling from his eyes. ‘’Goodbye, my love…’’ and as the darkness was about to swallow him, he couldn’t help but leave one more thing behind. A raven feather, just for good measure. Returning to the Devildom was going to be almost as hard as leaving you here. He was once again going to be the villain in yet another story… the story of how he lost you.

You wake up to sunlight. Too much of it. Why aren’t your curtains closed? Wait, you have to get out of bed, it’s your turn to cook for everyone. Everyone? You live by yourself… right? It feels like you had a weird dream, but you can’t remember it. All you feel is sadness. As if you’ve lost something or someone important. The pain hits you so hard that the moment you try to stand your legs give out and you lay on the ground as tears fill your eyes. It hurts, but you don’t know why. As your hands try to find some grip to get up, you feel something soft. A feather. A raven black feather. It’s weird, but it feels comforting. Before you can help yourself, your lips are already on it and even when you should be grossed out by it, you plan to cherish the little trinket...

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