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yesokaythatsfine69 · 4 years ago

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Man, That's Deep (Corpse Husband x reader)

Description: Y/n meets Corpse for the first time during a stream of Among Us. Things get a little chaotic from there.

Character(s): Corpse, Jacksepticeye (Sean), PewDiePie (Felix), Valkyrae (Rae), Ken, Disguised Toast (Toast)

Pov: 3rd person

Warning(s): cussing but besides that nah just a bunch of sweet stuff :)

A/n: hello! So I've recently hopped into the whole infatuation with Corpse thing, (it's kinda hard not to.) Thus I decided to write this. Hope you like it!

*none of the Gifs used are mine. Full credit goes to the maker.

A loud blast of thunder pounded the ground near y/n's house causing her to frown. Storms often rattled her, especially because she lived alone and dedicated a majority of her time to streaming and playing pretty frightening games. She tapped on her headphones and leaned back into her chair. Her eyes flashed to her server.

Is it storming here you're at?

"Yeah it's pouring down outside. Maybe it's a good time to play something else... something less terrifying." She ended the game and began to search for something else to stream.

"Any suggestions?" She asked the chat, scrolling through possibilities. Before she could pick, however, her phone buzzed. Reaching over, she picked up the device and checked it's screen. "Hold on, I got a message from Sean. Do you guys wanna watch me play some among us?"

She checked the chat. The responses were ones of excitement, as y/n rarely played among us let alone with the group that Sean played with but everytime y/n and Sean played something together things got interesting, considering how competitive the two were. Her eyes paused at a comment.

Will Corpse be there!?

She sat back in her chair, turning towards her computer. "Uhmm...I don't know actually. All I know is that they need a tenth person and I need a game to play that takes my attention away from this storm..." She began typing in the code.

"Although I've never played with him before nor have I talked to him. However-" she paused before pressing enter. "I do think it'd be cool to talk to him because he seems so kind...okay, I'm in."

She turned on the discord and unmuted, and almost instantly she was thrown into chaos. "She killed right in front of you, Felix!" Y/n's eyes widened and she looked into her camera. "Hey guys." She laughed, turning back to the game.

"Y/n!" Sean said cheerfully, ending whatever was left over from the previous game. A chorus of "y/n's" followed, until a deep baritone voice broke through. "Hello, y/n." She smiled softly at the sound, it being almost prettier than she had imagined. "It's nice to meet you guys."

"Oh yeah, y/n, I forgot you and Corpse haven't met before." Sean spoke as he changed the color of his among us character. "I've been wanting to meet you actually before this but Sean refused to give me your number." Corpse said, and y/n snorted as Sean made a gasping sound.

"That's not even-" "you know that's funny Corpse because I've been wanting to meet you too but Sean told me you didn't have phone." Y/n joined in and the group laughed. "Fuck off." Was all Sean could mumble before the game started and the screen flashed black.

Immediately muting, y/n smiled to herself. "His voice way deeper than I thought it would be. He was talking and I was like...man, that's deep." She giggled when Suddenly imposter flashed on her screen.

She bit her lip when she saw who it was with. Corpse. Their characters then fell into Mira hq, and y/n followed a group up into admin. Waiting for the bar to move until she was able to leave, and when she did she left with Felix and toast, following them into medbay.

The three entered, each going to a separate station. "So, I'm gonna kill toast first, but I gotta get these lights off first." She winked at the camera, before waiting until Rae and sykkuno also entered. Then she shut off the lights and killed. The group seemed to miss it as they hurried to turn the lights back on.

After getting the lights on, she made her way to decontamination, where she saw corpse. He had apparently been waiting for her, and they unmuted mics to speak.

"How's it going?" She laughed. "It's going. Did you need some protection?" It was Corpse's turn to laugh. "From who, we're both imposters?" They shared a laugh. "Oh my God, I killed toast like twenty minutes ago and they still haven't found him."

Corpse laughed again and y/n became dedicated to pulling that sound from his lips as much as she could. "I'll admit, they're a little slow."

Then, both Sean and Felix entered. Without uttering a word and almost in complete synchronization they double killed. Y/n giggled as they escaped, putting herself back on mute.

"This is so much fun! I love killing my friends!" Finally as she spoke that someone has found toasts body. "Medbay." Rae's cartoonish voice relayed. "Oh my, there's like five people dead." It was true, there were like five people dead. Corpse had found the time to kill two others before the double kill.

"I think- I think that it may be y/n." Sykkuno said, and y/n immediately sat up. "Why? I was in medbay with you and left before you did. Actually I think that was the last time I saw toast, was with you in medbay."

"Yeah and I've seen y/n a lot in the game. I haven't seen you sykkuno." Corpse said, coming to y/n's aid. Her cheeks reddened when he said her name. "Yeah, and you seem almost too trusting." Rae said.

Y/n smiled. "I'm voting Sykkuno. I'm not sure who the other one is, though." The four argued slightly and y/n muted. "Corpse...is so good."

She turned to the server, seeing everyone thoughts.

Wow y/n and corpse r so cute

Her cheeks reddened.

I think someone may be crushin 👀

"Guys, come on! I have just met him!" However her words were just a feeble attempt and she turned back to the game. Sykkuno was the last to vote, voting for himself.

With that, they won. Who knew how satisfying the word victory in big red letters could be. They arrived back into the lobby, where Sean immediately let them have it. "My own best friend! My own. Best. Friend. Killing me. In cold blood."

"if you don't want me to kill you play better!" Y/n jokingly shouted back. "Besides y/n and I are best friends now." Corpse spoke as he put on a flower which matched the one y/n's among us character wore.

"All I'm gonna say is that I knew her before all of you." Rae said, adding to the chaos. Y/n laughed and turned to her server.

Ooohhh are they fighting over you?

She rolled her eyes and returned to the chat. "Everytime we play with someone new you do this." Felix was complaining, also changing into the flower y/n wore.

Finally the new game was started and y/n got crew mate. It wasn't as exciting and she couldn't talk to corpse now, but it was still fun.

She got a few tasks done, and from the corner of her eye she saw toast and corpse and enter the are she was in, in reactor. "Corpse!" She said a little too excitedly. Recovering quickly she added, "And Toast!"

However part of her doubted her watchers were amused.

The lights turned off. "Damn, that was-" almost immediately she was killed by toast, probably giving her a taste of her own medicine. Immediately a hand covered her mouth and she groaned. "God fucking! What the hell toast!"

She sat in stunned silence for a second. "I guess I'll-" Corpse found her and immediately reported. "Y/N!" He laughed over his mic. "Not y/n!" "I guess that means we're the only ones left with matching flowers." Felix cut in.

"Alright who killed my best friend?" Sean said into the mic. "Wait, wait, wait. First of all- she's mine, sean-" in that moment y/n all but blacked out, but forced herself to show no reaction, lest her viewers smite her.

"and secondly. It's toast." "Toast you about to become burnt." Sean said lamely and y/n was lifted out her haze enough to snort at his bad joke. "What why is it me!?" "Because you were the last person I saw her with. It's definitely you."

Ken softly added. "I think he's right because I can't imagine corpse killing y/n." The others laughed, and y/n leaned back into her chair, slumping down.

Toast was voted out, and the game continued. Y/n was left to follow corpse around until, Felix came from behind and killed him.

"oh my God." Y/n said, laughing. Then corpse turned on his mic. "Y/n, we're both dead." She laughed again, "I know! The games definitely more boring now that we're gone."

For a few moments they spoke about the game, until y/n began telling him about the storm. "Where do you live?" "Uh, I live in Los Angeles. Usually it never storms here, though. Where do you live?"

"San Diego." She sat up. "Oh my God that's only like two hours away. We should hang sometime." He laughed. "I'd really enjoy that, y/n." "You could come up here and we could go bother some rich people. I know where James lives."

"I would love to bother rich people with you, especially James." She smiled. "Covid permitting of course." "Of course."

Finally that game ended, with them finally figuring out that it was Felix.

Y/n stretched out, and agreed to play one more game. This time she got imposter with Sean.

She laughed manically, and clapped her hands together excitedly. "This is gonna be good!" Together the two worked as a team, delightedly playing off each other. One would sabotage and the other would kill. However the two did have one weakness and it was definitely their competitive nature's.

It had become a who can kill the most players in a game contest. And y/n was now trailing behind until, finally, she found Rae and sykkuno all in the same room. Sean had followed her in and it looked like a perfect opportunity to commit a double kill. Y/n got Rae with a clean kill and Sean got sykkuno. Then in came corpse.

"fuck!" Y/n shouted, leaping from her chair "he saw us! Corpse totally saw us! Shit!" Both Sean and y/n said nothing waiting for corpse to speak. "Oh my God. Sean how could you!" For several seconds Sean didn't reply. Then he forced out a weak "what?" Corpse sighed. "He killed sykkuno right in front of me. I didn't see anyone else around."

Y/n's mouth dropped. He wasn't going to say anything. He was going to let her slide. Of course, Sean would be getting voted out but that was a small price to pay. She looked into her camera in shock.

Her server was blowing up.

He ain't gonna snitch on daddy

She covered her mouth for fear they'd hear her laugh.

Corpse suddenly became blind after watching Sean kill sykkuno

She voted poor Sean out and the game continued.

Corpse followed her around and watched as she killed more. Seemingly the last comment about him being blind was true.

Another victory was won, and y/n braced herself for the upcoming shitstorm that was the discord call. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU CORPSE!" Rae blasted. Y/n laughed until a loud blast of lightning shook the house and caused the lights to blink on and off. She yelped, her cat running into the room.

"wow, what was that?" Ken asked. "You okay, y/n?" Sean's voice called. She sighed. "Yeah, but I think i better log off. It was a lot of fun you guys! Thanks for letting me join."

A chorus of "yeah!" "No problem!" And "join us again!" Welcomed her. "Yeah, if y/n leaves I'm probably gonna leave too. I'll see you guys soon."

Ignoring the ohhh and aww comments of her chat she signed off.

Her phone rang and she smiled, answering it and pulling it to her ear. "Sean finally give you my number?"

Corpse laughed from the other end. "yeah, yeah. You were serious about meeting up right?" She chuckled softly. "Very." She heard him sigh happily. "Good, good. Hey if you're staying up maybe we could...chat some more?"

She smiled brightlyand her cheeks hurt. "I'd want nothing more." Suddenly her ohone buzzed and she pulled it from her ear to check. It was a message from Sean.

"you're on the phone with him right now, aren't you?"

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A/n: please feel free to give critism and requests. Thanks for reading!

#corpse husband #corpse fanart #corpse simp #corpse fanfic #corpse x reader #corpse imagines #sykkuno #sykkuno x reader #sean x reader #jacksepticeye x reader

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ultrahpfan5blog · 3 years ago

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No Time To Die - A strong departure for a fantastic Bond

So there is no secret to the fact that Craig's Bond tenure has had a mixed critical response. Casino Royale and Skyfall are considered in the top 5 Bond films of all time by many. Given that there are now 25 Bond films, that is an impressive achievement for any single Bond actor. Unfortunately they are also offset by the fact that Quantum of Solace and Spectre are largely considered disappointments. I think this is partly because of the incredible reception of their respective predecessors. I don't dislike either of them and I enjoy them for the most part, while recognizing their flaws but they are noticeably inferior to Casino Royale and Skyfall. So No Time to Die comes with pressure of sending Craig's Bond, who has been brilliant through the his movies' highs and lows, off on a strong note. Having watched the movie, I will say that it is a significant improvement over Spectre and definitely a strong end to Craig's Bond era, even if it may not hit the heights of Casino Royale and Skyfall. I would say its a lot closer in quality to the CR and Skyfall than it is to Spectre and QoS.

I don't want to reveal any spoilers for the film but so can't say much about the plot, but given its the longest Bond film by almost 20 mins, it doesn't feel like it. Its actually a film where you get consistently invested in the plot and the characters. There are lots of returning characters and there are some good new characters who add a lot to the movie. The film pays tribute to Bond movies of the past, like films like OHMSS as well as previous Craig era Bond films.

The action in the film is excellent. I would say in terms of action, it is second maybe only to Casino Royale. There is a visceral nature to it. There is a sequence set in Cuba that is particularly brilliant. The pre-credits scenes are again fantastic. The film has an opening that is basically straight out of a horror movie and is really brilliant. That is followed by an exceptional sequence in Italy which has been foreshadowed in the trailers. There are strong action scenes littered throughout the film.

Lea Seydoux returns as Madeleine as the only Bond girl to every make a reappearance. I have to admit that I was a little worried because I wasn't completely sold on the chemistry between Craig and Seydoux in Spectre and that romance kind of came out of nowhere. However, I think they are much better together in this movie. I think their scenes together are much better written and the actors feel like they are more comfortable in their character's relationship with one another. Its still not as strong as the chemistry shared with Eva Green but I feel that was lightning in a bottle type stuff which is impossible to replicate. Admittedly, there is a marked reference to Vesper, which while poignant and meaningful, does remind you of that chemistry. There is that musical cue from CR that briefly reappears in a beautiful moment. Overall, Seydoux is really good in the movie. Lashanna Lynch appears as the new 007. I am sure there will be outrage over her taking Bond's moniker but she is excellent in the role and the dynamic between her and Bond is really funny and there is the slow build up of respect between the two that is really well done. Naomie Harris is back as Moneypenny and she's strong as she has always been, although the last two films haven't given her enough to do given how she was introduced in Skyfall. One of the big highlights of the film for me was Ana De Armas in a delightful cameo during the Cuba scene. She is adorable and badass and looks amazing in the gown. You immediately want to see much more of her. She and Craig manage to replicate their fun chemistry from Knives Out during that section. Her role is quite brief but she leaves a major impact. If Amazon is interested in doing spinoffs of Bond, I would suggest to start with her character.

All the other returning cast members are terrific as well. Fiennes has a substantial role in the movie as his actions are very directly linked to the plot of the movie. He's excellent as always. Ben Whishaw is also terrific again as Q. He's been one of the big highlights of the Craig era Bond films. Again, he gets a fairly sizable role with him playing a pretty active role in climax. Rory Kinnear continues to be a welcome presence as Tanner. I'm glad he hasn't been ignored as new cast members have come in. Jeffrey Wright reappears as Felix Leiter and his presence is another highlight of the movie. Despite him having been missing from the past two films, this movie does a great job re-establishing the brotherhood between Bond and Felix and there is some great fun and emotional scenes between them.

Christoph Waltz returns as Blofeld in a brief role and he is effectively used in a pretty intense scene that evokes Hannibal Lecter. Billy Magnussen appears as a side villain who Bond has a grudge against. There is a henchmen with a robotic eye who appears throughout the film. What unfortunately drags the film down below Casino Royale and Skyfall levels is Rami Malek's Safin. He is not a strong villain for such a big movie. He has a phenomenal entry scene, but he is only present in the last act. Apart from an obsession with Madeleine and a creepy look, there is nothing really that distinguishes him from a garden variety terrorist. We don't really get to know what his ideology is and why he specifically wants to do what he does. Even Greene in QoS had a clear motive for power and control. Malek also seems a bit miscast because the role seems to be for someone who is older than he is. I guess it doesn't help that Malek generally looks young for his age. Its unfortunate because a really good villain would have made this film brilliant, but because of a lack of proper motivation besides global terror, he doesn't really hold up despite Malek's best efforts.

Daniel Craig is the glue that holds the movie together. He is absolutely outstanding here. I think this is the most relaxed he has been in the role and also the most vulnerable. It might just be his best performance out of all five films. He wears his age comfortably, not unwilling to let Bond be vulnerable, both physically and emotionally, but continuing to be an absolute badass. He also just seems to be having a lot of fun in the role. There is plenty of humor in the film and he gets a good chunk of it. He's excellent in the emotional and dramatic scenes which give the movie so much more weight towards the end of the movie. He really is the beating heart of the film. I really think they should take a sizable break from Bond after this film because Craig's shadow will be long and very difficult for a new actor without some distance. He's definitely my favorite Bond, having seen all 25 films because he has given Bond nuances and vulnerability that previous version just haven't. Its a great goodbye to him because he is phenomenal here.

Cary Fukunaga does a real strong job directing this film. Like I mentioned before, the film is never boring despite its long running time. The writing for the villain is what lets the film down but technically and performance wise, this film is terrific. It may not be the perfect send off for Craig's Bond but its an absolutely worthy send off. I'm looking forward to seeing it again to see if my opinions change a bit. For now, this is like an 8-8.5/10

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residentmiddlechild · 3 years ago

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I was bored. I did a thing. TLDR at the bottom, but I’m wheezing.

YES ANDRE I NEVER LIKED YOU BUT YOU DOING SO GOOD NOW

Mr. Banana with sais! YES (someone draw this)

Gorilla too! They’re a good team.

oh...oh no Kagami...you can’t...nooo RIP Marinette my beautiful girl.

Shadowmoth coming for the children again smh

Alix no-

Lila what are you doing?

Chat in the bushes. Someone draw this.

“Carapace thinks about home.” OF COURSE HE DOES

Felix 🤝 Chat = hiding in bushes. (Guys they’re the same person)

“Nathalie Sancoeur tends to Adrien Agreste's wounds.” Aww...that’s so sweet of her.

“Nino Lahiffe scares Rena Rouge off.” WHEEZE NO OH MY GOSH SKSKSKKS I’M CACKLING

I’M SCREAMING-

WAIT DID SHADOWMOTH JUST GET KILLED BY SQUIRRELS?? It’s what he deserves.

Jeluka, how dare you kill your cat bro!!

“Felix Graham de Vanily, in agony, kills Adrien Agreste so he does not have to be attacked by the squirrels.” I’M CRYING THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD

RIP. Anyway-

“Luka Couffaine is awoken by nightmares.” Just like he is every night since he found out their identities.

Wow...Jeluka straight up killed a Banana. Good for her.

Hahaha lila

Mayrua and Jagged *wheeze* why is this so funny??

Someone please draw Carapace fishing.

RENA AND ALYA??

“Felix Graham de Vanily questions his sanity.” GREMLIN CHILD NO- ARE YOU OKAY??

“Jeluka Couffaine sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.” Same Jeluka. I love this for you.

RIP Mr. Banana. You didn’t die that well.

ALYA NO- ….Alya x Adrien but it’s evil??

Mayura, Lila and Jeluka is such a weird combo. kinda love it

Jagged is just chillin.

Carapace taking the high road.

“Luka Couffaine stabs Jagged Stone while his back is turned.” PATRICIDE?? WHAT-

REnA SCarInG AnDRe- *wheeze* why am i laughing so hard

RIP Jagged. You will be missed.

Well that’s nice of Andre.

RENA AND CARAPACE WENT OUT TOGETHER NOOO

Also, If Luka wins this, i will eat dirt.

Luka is killing people left and right-

If this ends in a match between Luka and Jeluka I will be so happy.

Alya and Jeluka have the right idea.

WHOA I did not see that coming. Andre could win...but I’m rooting for Jeluka and Alya.

RIP Carapace, Rena, Felix, Mayura, not you Lila, and Luka. I was really rooting for Luka there.

WHY IS THIS ALL SO IN CHARACTER??

Jeluka is ready to live there for the rest of her life.

Y’all got some killing to do.

C’mon, start killing.

Same Alya, same.Ngl they all suck at killing. Which is a good thing. BUt still.

Ngl they all suck at killing. Which is a good thing. BUt still.

OH NO JELUKA BABY ARE YOU OKAY??

*sighs in relief* she’s okay

Them: We’re pacifists.

How many times do people need to think about home before someone dies??

*crying* oh my gosh...wHy *screams*

RIP Alya and Jeluka. You should have won.

In conclusion. I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

I’m glad Gabriel died first though. He deserved that.

I can’t believe LUKA HAD THE MOST KILLS

TLDR:

Anyway, I’m wheezing, have a good day :)

#why did I do this?#who knows #I had fun #I'm crying #why did that person have to win??#ml hunger games #ml #ml au #ml hunger games au #hunger games simulator #miraculous ladybug #WHY #ml season 4 spoilers #ml spoilers #sorry it's so long #long post #they just wouldn't kill each other #lol

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agent-cupcake · 4 years ago

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just curious, what’s your favorite and least favorite character design? my least fav for sure has got to be female byleth for reasons i don’t want to get in to yep ok have a good day 😁

IOops this accidentally became a rant, sorry

Okay so, to preface this all, I’m not a character designer and I’m actually pretty bad at it, but my rule of thumb with really unappealing or fan-service outfits is whether or not it makes sense character-wise and how much it tells the player about the character. For example, I think we can all agree that there’s quite a bit of fan-service elements in Hilda’s design. Boob window. However, it’s not unrealistic to imagine Hilda picking out those clothes for herself. Her costume tells you almost everything you need to know about her character on a visual level. She’s confident, pretty, attention-grabbing, and high maintenance while the gloves and laced girdle give a nod to her Viking-maiden roots.

Taking it to female Byleth, I don’t think that her outfit works on either front. Her design is definitely my least favorite and it’s not helped by the fact that you have to look at her at all times. Whatever. The huge, solid mass of boobs, the buttoned bib, the big eyes, the feather hair, the bellybutton, the ripped tights, the booty shorts. She’s a merc out in life and death situations with an accessible, pale, tacky 2000′s “stab me” stomach cut out and a wedgie. Which could be excusable if, like Hilda, there was reason to believe that that her costume was character choice. But she doesn’t really have much character, and what there is gives the impression of a very stoic, dry, blunt person. I have no idea why they’d have gone that route when the sexual appeal of more “utilitarian” costuming (aka, form fitting armor that at least pretends to be functional) for characters like her is scientifically proven AND would say more about the singular personality trait she possesses. Okay, well, I know why they didn’t do that and I think it’s lame. This dysfunction of “character designer wanted a sexy girl but it’s kinda random and just shoved in the game without any thought” actually reminds me a lot of Xenoblade 2′s leading ladies, Hikari and Pyra. Although considering that their bad designs led to a lot of people hating the game for superficial reasons while accepting female Byleth’s design, I guess I’m just bitter. Jumping to a different comparison, then, look at 2B from Nier Automata. Her design is fine as hell which is kinda hypocritical of me considering that it's explicitly fan-service, but I think it also shows the most damning thing for female Byleth. Her whole look, despite having a dozen different element thrown in, is boring. Maybe it’s the colors (dressing her in all black and white would have been really interesting considering the colors of the three lords are so heavily emphasized as a part of their characters) or maybe it’s just the way the desperate elements come together. But, like I said, I'm not even slightly knowledgeable about character design and I know that despite Three Houses being mostly separate, they had to appeal to a larger aesthetic brand to which I have little experience with. And, ultimately, a lot of people find her cute or sexy which...To each their own, I suppose. I don’t pretend that fan-service doesn’t work on me (2B... Cloud’s arms in the remake... Seph's shirtless Smash skin...) but when it’s this obviously inserted in by the character designers rather than feeling organic in any way AND looks bad I'm just not super interested.

The other worst designs for me would be all four of the Ashen Wolves post timeskip. I don't think it's controversial to say that they didn't try with the clothes, even if I love their designs from the neck up (Yes, even Balthus. He looks like the type of guy that would let you sit on his shoulders at a rock concert so you could see the stage). While there are other designs I think are unappealing, those are for purely aesthetic reasons and so I can't maintain the opinion that they're actively bad or that I even truly dislike them.

As for favorite looks... I actually have a few so sorry you're getting all of them because despite the shit I'm talking, I actually really really love the character designs in Three Houses.

Ferdinand's post timeskip is one of my favorite designs, if not my favorite. The hair, the coat, the armor, the spurs, the colors. You know exactly who Ferdinand von Aegir is just by looking at him. He’s wealthy, handsome, confident in his appearance, a hero, a princely type character, his battle form is mounted combat which is traditionally aesthetically reserved for nobility and leaders... I love it. The only reason I cannot say he IS my favorite is because of the three Lords. But before them, my honorable mentions include post timeskip Hilda, Dorothea, Lorenz, Felix, and Hubert. Granted, I could make a case for why I like almost all of the student’s post timeskip looks.

For the Lords, I obviously have to start with colors because, weirdly enough, Persona didn’t invent primary colors but are actually used as shorthand. Blue is the color of honor, loyalty, sincerity, sadness, and depression. Something I’ve always found very interesting is that blue is very rarely found in nature. To me, that’s always made it seem more lonely which, at least in this case, is thematically relevant. People call Dimitri boring pre timeskip and while I won’t defend his hairstyle (okay, actually, I probably would because he tucks it behind his ears and idk why but that’s one of the cutest things ever) I really like how unassuming he is. Bland. He’s supposed to be the plain shortbread cookie to caramel deLite Claude and strawberry meringue Edelgard. It is not in his character to draw attention to himself or stand out. To me, he kinda looks like an old Barbie prince, like he should have been named Dominic. Also I love the blue eyes/blonde hair thing and his more angular features. It really helps to sell him as the fakeout chivalrous prince type. Post timeskip, Dimitri's black armor is amazing. I love the fact that it’s a lot more intricate up-close with the different little shell-like pieces and the fact that his boots are furry. I love the big cape and the black and white fur around his shoulders. It’s really cool how they used his costume to change the shape of his in-game model to match the bodily proportions of the character art. It’s easier to see when you change his costume into the DLC ones, but the fur and cape build up his shoulders and chest look more broad while keeping that tiny little waist. The choice to give Dimitri an eyepatch is probably my favorite thing about this design. It’s genuinely inspired. Such a simple detail yet it tells the player everything they need to know about adult Dimitri when they see him post timeskip, in one frame the player can begin to understand the extent of his loss over the past five years. The subtle shadow under his eye in the first few Azure Moon chapters and the messy long-ish hair really help to sell the feral prince aesthetic as well, as it’s from those small cues the player gets that he’s exhausted (in more ways than one) and doesn’t maintain himself. None of these things are intentional choices by Dimtiri, they’re the result of what his character has been through.

Yellow is an intense, energetic color. Mostly, people think of it as being warm and inviting, the color of the sun and positivity. That intensity can be overwhelming, though, too visually demanding when compared to its primary counterparts. Don’t stare at the sun too long. Buuuut, it’s okay to stare at Claude. Claude not wanting to wear tight pants in either of his costumes is not only a mood, it is iconic. Pre timeskip, the softer lines of his silhouette makes him look kinda slouchy, kinda lazy. Like he’s not too concerned with appearances. But those adorably messy curls, the little braid, the clearly tended eyebrows, and earring make it clear that he DOES care about appearances and is very aware of his allure. And that’s before he even starts winking. It is honestly so in character that as many people picked him first on the basis of being thirsty, that feels like an intentionally Claude thing even if it was inserted by the designers. The contrast of his complexion with his seagreen eyes is gorgeous and instantly adds a kind of mystery and intrigue to him considering the setting... but it’s sf funny that nobody looked at bronze god Claude among a sea of white faces and thought something was up. Post timeskip, they used the same trick like they did with Dimitri to change Claude’s in-game model to match his canon appearance. The way they designed his uniform makes him not look as twink-ish, like he’s actually muscular and imposing and has the strength he’d need to shoot a war bow with a 120lbs draw weight. Also like Dimitri, you can instantly tell what Claude’s been up to. Like, he was very pretty pre timeskip but when he shows up in the Goddess Tower after those five years in all that gold, he demands your attention. Like a gentleman general with the excessive aesthetic ideals of the Alliance and details to imply his heritage. The quilted pants are amazing from both an aesthetic and practical standpoint. He’s a mounted unit riding a creature with scales, of course he’d want something on his legs for protection. And the chinstrap. I love that so much, it definitely makes him look more adult. He’s got such a cute soft baby face, it’s fun imagining him experimenting with different styles during the five years to get the most desired physical reaction to him as a leader.

Frenchfries, meet forehead. No, actually, Edelgard’s design is really fantastic. Claude and Dimitri both have realistically colored eyes and hair and then there’s Edelgard. Dimitri shrugs off attention physically and Claude shirks it with a wink but Edelgard commands the players attention from the very start. Although I’m sure there’s a lot of things to associate with white hair and purple eyes, my first thought was Daenerys from Game of Thrones. Otherworldly beautiful by with an edge. Red, of course, is The power color. Strong emotions, love and hate. Red is also associated strongly with blood, which is very important to Edelgard’s plot. Granted, I think the red and black association is even more powerful than JUST red and red is the cheapest play to make in regards to displaying villainy (I mean, there are some pretty universally recognized associations with red and black and it led to people making some unfair comparisons between Edelgard and a famous dictator) but I think it was effective and well used and I genuinely enjoy its use in her case. Anyway, if I had a major complaint about her design it would be the weird ashy color of her hair whereas Lysithea’s hair is pure white. Which doesn’t even matter with the AMAZING hair horns. Ram horns can actually symbolize quite a few things, but their association with power and strength is pretty universal I think. They’re also used in demonic imagery. I love that THIS was her alternative to a crown. Edelgard views herself as a force of war and power before she thinks of herself as royalty. She also mentions that she isn’t super vain, but she loves to do her hair, so the hair being the most elaborate part of her look is entirely in-character. Edelgard’s ensemble is, like Claude, very militaristic. I love that they kept her in a dress that embraces femininity without showing skin as that wouldn’t really suit her Also, again, Edelgard demands your attention. She’s dressed all in bright bright red waving around a giant axe. She is a symbol as much as she is a combatant, someone to follow. I didn’t really mention their secondary lord costumes, but a girl in sexy armor is literally everything and I love that they had the balls to put their main sexy waifu girl in full body armor.

Okay I’m sorry I realize this was excessive and probably didn’t need explaining and I’m not sure I even articulated my thoughts properly but anyway I love their designs so here is the positivity I’ll put into the world.

#fe3h #ferdinand von aegir #claude von riegan #edelgard von hresvelg #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #haha i htae byleths design this was all just to justify my abject disgust for the way she looks #nobody sent me anything about dimitri's dick so this is what i've been reduced to

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wreathedwith · 3 years ago

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No Time To Die thoughts

Major spoilers throughout, obviously.

the good/the bad/the divisive

The good

That opening sequence: from creepy horror to high romance to gorgeous Matera to thrills and spills and gun headlights (and those motorbike stunts!), followed by Betrayal and Train (biggest gasp from my cinema companion, despite the number of cars being knocked around like Newton’s Cradle later on: Bond crossing the tracks in the train station) – this had it all, a mini Bond movie in its own right.

Lashana Lynch was brilliant and I actually think she and the film managed to carry out her character’s difficult balancing act extremely well: cool, not secretly a mole or an enemy, not a stereotype, part of the team; the appropriate combination of admiration and annoyance for Bond. That’s hard to do, especially with such a well-established character.

Ana de Armas and Craig’s chemistry went far beyond any (is there any? oh how I wish they had more, but they don’t) with Léa Seydoux – she was funny and instantaneously appealing.

Q! I know I should care more that the sexuality confirmation was of course done in the most anodyne we-need-to-sell-this-property-to-200-plus-territories way possible, but I still think it was great. (And then Bond stayed over! Hm. Hmmm.)

Felix! Bond has frend? Bond has someone he actually talks to like a normal human being? (Well, for a bit.)

Some silly gadgets and appropriately leaden quips (but not too many).

Even the critics who are not rating the film so well overall seem to feel Craig’s performance is excellent in this – and it is. He does the emotion, the hints of deep vulnerability, the action, the standing naked under an outdoor shower, and the stupid Bond one-liners. He does it all.

(trying not to attribute things to her when I of course know nothing, but surely PWB had some influence there? Hugh Dennis, not The Wrong Trousers.)

The bad

Sufin: nothing bad to say about Rami Malek’s acting and portrayal (although arguably his relationship and chemistry with Swann was more important and better than with Bond, for better or worse), but this character was a very weak Bond villain, a fact perhaps tacitly acknowledged by also including a much more highly-charged encounter with Lecter I mean Blofeld as well. Blah blah generational motivation, something about plants, wants to kill millions of people because Villain Reasons?; just not really much going on here. Also: another facial disfigurement? Really?? Yes Bond is trope-y as all hell and shouldn’t have too much regard for real-world logic, but you get up to a certain point and it’s really too much. (Cool lair tho. But more monochrome and less balls-to-the-wall than some classic Bonds.) (For me the ranking of the Craig-era films remains: Brilliant (Casino Royale and Skyfall); Servicable; some great elements (Spectre and No Time To Die); awful (Quantum of Solace), and not so coincidentally it’s Le Chiffre and Silva who really shine as villains. Villains are important!

James Bond: plot moppet edition. Much like the world of Grand Theft Auto, I don’t think children should exist in the James Bond universe.

You could definitely tell this had a few writers. I was drawn in and not bored during the whole thing, but it IS long. Too much plot and most of it not very good.

I’m not quite sure what the line is between satisfying callbacks to previous Bond films in combination with polite cribbing from all other action franchise versus feeling like a bit of everything has been thrown in without there being much that’s new, but this film probably crossed it. (Yes, Skyfall probably had more franchise callbacks, but somehow it all worked.)

The Bond-films-are-soft-power Royal Navy proper gander: one of only six missile destroyers just happening to be in the right sea, ready to go! Hm.

The divisive

I loved the ending! Bond isn’t a real person. The continuity of the series already makes no sense whatsoever if you stop to think about for more than about ten seconds. This way you can put a proper, planned end to the Craig era, emerge clean out of the knotty franchise interconnections disease caught from Marvel et al (no, we didn’t need to retroactively link the brilliant likes of Le Chiffre to a Greater Power And Agenda (Spectre), actually). And begin again.

(Also worth it for the person sitting behind me in the cinema whose clearly audible response to ‘James Bond Will Return’ was an annoyed ‘you JUST showed him getting blow up’. Can’t argue with that.)

#no time to die #james bond #no time to die spoilers

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the-worst-fe-player · 4 years ago

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Dimitri for the character ask thing? :)

Sorry this took a while tumblr decided to crash instead of posting it right when I was almost finished sorry

Favourite thing = everything. But for real probely how much he try to do his best even if it isn’t the best thing. Like take the end of azure moon when he was going to spear el only killing her after it was clear there was no saving her and like honestly there was no real reason to save her yes dimitri rembers there childhood but it’s clear at that point el doesn’t and even then she invaded his homeland and is the reason god knows how many people died and had that meet up which was just a big fat yikes across the bored yet he still wanted to save her. the there his supports with flayn ingrid Ashe Mercedes I could go on the further show how amazing of a quality it is and how it will make him an amazing ruler and I think the end of am Murl shows that with him with the children and many others

Least favourite thing = probably the byelth worship but tbh I have that problem with pretty much all house leaders I just don’t get it mabey because I never had to beat real ships with my teachers but yeah

Favourite line = “I am certain I will be hearing them until the day I die. But I will not cover my ears. I will go on living... and their voices will serve as a warning”

I love this line while it’s sadly looked behind a s support it shows dimitris growth as a character the voices with no longer control him yet they will also never go he goes on the live an successful life dispute it all and it’s one of my favourite lines because of that. Also on a personal note while the voices I hear and the delusions I face are nothing like dimitris they still scare me and I often don’t feel like I’m in control of myself sometimes so seeing someone even if it’s a fictional character that’s like me still thrives gives hope you know

Brotp = Claude lol. like no offence to those who do iv just never really seen it but I would love to see them just hang out there personality pre time skip are so different that there could be funny stuff and post time skip seeing them re kindle that friendship and help join almyra and fodeln together meaning claudes dream can come true even in am

Otp = dedue I’m a sucker for prince / most loyal dynamic anyway but I think they would be so cute with each other and the ship dynamic can go from angst to fluff (tho I prefer the fluff lol) tho tbh I kind of ship dimitri with a lot of people like I multi ship a lot of three houses

Notp = I got two el even if you ignore the whole is it incest thing I still wouldn’t like it. (Trigger wanring for sexual mental and physical abuse next bit please skip this part if uncomfortable ) felix. My first introduction to this ship was an untaged abuse fic on a03 that had felix rape and physical assault dimitri in an attempt to save him. And so many of these ha ha felix edgey while in love with dimitri isn’t that funny that he’s saying how much he’s hates everything about his husband and wished he was dead or a better persons posts like it’s straight up verbal and mental abuse like as someone that was mental and slightly sexual (I was pressed into having sex) it makes me fucking sick to see it and because of that iv grown to hate that ship and will only look at it if a muatal that I trust reblogs or make the content because it can be good but it scares me you knao. Like I’m not saying wiring bad things is inherently bad fuck iv written stuff about my own experience in a way to vent and we can’t exactly not write about bad things because that can make good story arch it but there’s a fine line between I’m writing this and it’s clearly a bad thing to isn’t it so romantic I’m not gonna tag any of this so suvours will see this and be reminded about how we see the thing that fucked you up cute

Random headcanon = The sort of guy that can wear shorts and sandles in the snow

Unpopular opinion = the pre time skip hair isn’t that bad yall just mean 😭

Song I Associate with them= Achilles come down it’s my favourite song and just listen plz

Fav pic = this cipher art

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd

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flyingpochama948 · 3 years ago

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Things that really grind my gears about the WiR sequel. Warning this is going to be negative so don't read if you like the movie

No Bad-Anon meeting shown. Granted you see some of the members in the background but that's it. Cause showing that Ralph had other friends besides Vanellope would surely ruin the plot

Which brings me to my next point. Ralph was made to look like he had no friends other than Vanellope. Yes they are my brotp and they had cute moments. But Ralph does have other friends. Again, I think this was done to make it look like he had an unhealthy attachment to Vanellope.

We were promised Mario but there was no Mario. They even removed Bowser. Though maybe Nintendo took one look at the plot and went “lol nope”.

The Sugar Rush game console is suddenly a 1P model instead of a 2P model. Again, for plot convenience. Cause the unplugged thing wouldn’t have worked if another seat was functioning.

WTF was Ralph doing in Sugar Rush during game hours?? Like the whole basis of the first film was that his game was doomed of he wasn't in it. Get back to your game Ralph or so help me.

Litwak unplugs Sugar Rush MERE MOMENTS after the steering wheel breaks off. In the first movie he let Fix-It Felix Jr. stay plugged in with just an Out of Order sign on the screen. Why do that now? Has there been a power shortage in recent years so maybe games that go OoO get unplugged right away now?

27 years??? 27 years. Okay let's go with that.

Who is this lady and what have you done with the real Calhoun? I understand she probably became a lot friendlier being with Felix but I always imagined she'd retain some of her toughness. She would have kept those kids in line the moment they acted up.

Felix and Calhoun were horribly ignored. A complaint that is the most prominent in the fandom. I kinda wanted them to be on the adventure with Ralph and Vanellope. But being that they wanted to go with the adoption thing I would have thought they would have spent more than 3 minutes on it. There were a lot of deleted scenes showing them bonding with the racers and that would have been great to see.

Shank... I don't need to say more. No maybe I do. I’m sad we got this watered down design when we could have had one of those gorgeous big girls from the concept art. But also, to me, she is a very uninteresting character. Just the standard badass female with very few personality traits that you see a lot of movies dishing out lately in the name of woke feminism. Again, I stress, this is an opinion, not a fact. But it’s not just this but how she acts later on in the film which I point out a bit later.

Ralph is made to look like an idiot doing these memes to get money for a steering wheel. They were meant to be funny but I cringed way too much. I get Ralph was also humiliated a lot in the first film but at least it followed along with the plot. And were funny without trying to force it on us. Unlike these memes.

I love them but the Disney princess scene dragged on for way too long. The whole part with Disney properties did. Can't have Nintendo characters but we can have Storm Troopers and Baby Groot!

Vanellope running to Shank to talk about her problems and not Ralph. Then deciding to race in Slaughter Race not for any other purpose then to have fun despite the fact she could die. The fact that the adult Shank let her do it. Which I still believe she did because she was bored like Vanellope. I’ve mentioned before that Vanellope is very impressionable and Shank is the role model whether she likes it or not. And she acts like a very poor one. She should have told Vanellope to go talk to Ralph immediately and maybe return home to weigh her options. Though really, this is still the WiR universe where you should definitely not leave your game. She as a video game character should get this.

And here we go. The coup de gracé of Ralph's portrayal and why it infuriates me. Despite the fact that in the last film that him accidentally bringing a virus into a game nearly destroyed it, he just thought "well maybe it won't be as bad this time" and PURPOSEFULLY brought one into another game. And he does it WHILE VANELLOPE IS IN THERE???

Just the whole Ralph insecurity virus thing never sat well with me. Especially when all those Ralph bodies form a giant Ralph. Just...eww. Though yes, he handled it terribly, he still had valid issues with abandonment. And I feel they played it off as if he was some manchild who couldn’t except change. Which made people have those awful takes of Ralph being an incel and was mad that he couldn’t control women.

My brotp is now officially "co-dependent" for the sake of the plot and Disney princess dreams. Yay...

It's okay for Vanellope to just straight up abandon her game despite that being a total no-no in the first film. Granted she's not as essential of a character as Ralph is and was already absent from gameplay for 15 years but she's still the leader of Sugar Rush. They really need her there.

Ralph and Vanellope are forced apart and now she has a new best friend, the totally flawless badass Shank.

Not once is Vanellope called out for anything she did and that angers me more. Vanellope I love you and will defend you till the end of time and yes I understand you endured incomprehensible trauma from those in your game but seriously. As a video game character, you just can’t just leave your game. Like maybe if they went that route that Vanellope was still traumatized by how the other racers used to treat her I would understand a lot more. But they just play it off as boredom. Boredom that can easily be solved WITHOUT abandoning the game and your best friend. Ralph could have made new tracks for her to have when the game isn't being played.

The Sugar Rush racers being nice to each other now was shown in such a disingenuous way that it's unbelievable. That interaction between Taffyta and Rancis almost seemed like sarcasm. I get it's for comedic effect but I don't like it.

Just the whole concept of the movie focusing more on the internet and capitalism more than it did gaming. Online gaming was said to be explored in this film but they only went to one game. The rest was eBay and Disney and memes and a phony Snapchat/Youtube/Twitter hybrid.

I wanted to maybe watch the film again to get a bit of refresher but I cannot bring myself to do so. I just can't. It infuriates me too much. IDK I guess the moral of the film brings up bad memories for me. As I feel for Ralph when you have a friend you were so attach to decides to hang out with someone new. Either another platonic friend or someone they're romantically involved with. It's happened way too many times in my life. And might partially be the reason I fear having friendships now.

#pochama rants

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beatriceeagle · 4 years ago

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What do you think of later Veronica Mars seasons? Any advice for Rob Thomas? And (I guess about all VM seasons) anything you would change? Thank you

This got extremely long. I didn’t get into things I would change, and I didn’t give any advice; nevertheless, I have a lot to say about Veronica Mars.

The long and the short of it is that a lot of people discuss Veronica Mars as though it is a noir TV show, but it’s not solely or even primarily a noir work. It’s certainly noir-inspired; many of its characters are drawn from noir archetypes; it’s cynical enough about the status quo to be noir; you might say that it’s in conversation with the noir genre. But although noir detective fiction has plenty of hardboiled detectives (Veronica), dirty cops (Lamb), and femme fatales (Logan), where in noir do we place Wallace? Where do we put Mac? Where does Keith go? What about Meg? What about Duncan? (Poor, poor Meg and Duncan.)

By the time it exited its first season, Veronica Mars was just full of too many bright, funny, fundamentally likeable characters—characters who you fundamentally could not suspect of murder—to be classifiable as fully noir. Moreover, the central mystery that it left dangling at the end of the first season wasn’t about murder, or corruption, or betrayal; it’s about romance. Who is at Veronica’s door? By the season one finale, Veronica Mars is first and foremost what it perhaps inevitably was going to become, when it aired on network television: an ensemble character drama.

Can an ensemble character drama be noir? Well, sure. Veronica Mars is. But in a long-term ensemble character-based show, the needs of the characters have to be served before the needs of the noir. People watched season one of Veronica Mars because they enjoyed the mystery (and the quips, and the romance). They kept watching because they connected with the characters.

Season one balanced those two needs nearly perfectly; that’s why it’s often held up as an all-time great season of television. Season two remains pretty noir (it is, after all, the season of the acquittal of Aaron Echolls), but the construction of its mystery gets overly complicated, and the personal plot—the character drama—tends towards soapy. It still balances well enough to be enjoyable, but it’s undeniable that there are problems with season two of Veronica Mars, and I think they come from trying to figure out how to incorporate the characters into an ongoing noir storyline. Wallace is simply not a noir character, but he gets sucked into a dead-end story about his missing father and a hit-and-run on a homeless guy for half a season. Duncan, once you establish that he’s not going to kill anyone in a blackout rage, is basically a bland, quiet, nice guy, and not in any way a noir character. So he has to go on the run with Meg’s (also not a noir character, therefore killed off) coma baby halfway through the season.

The basic construction of season two of Veronica Mars is that the cast from season one, now cleared of all suspicion in Lilly Kane’s murder, encounter a new noir mystery, populated by new noir characters: Woody and Gia Goodman and Jackie and Terrence Cook on the one hand, and Felix Toombs and the Fitzpatricks on the other. The main cast are organically enmeshed in this new noir set-up to varying degrees. Logan (who is perhaps the most naturally noir character of the show’s early seasons, above even Veronica) is fully integrated in the murder of Felix Toombs; he’s an obvious suspect, and although we don’t believe he did it, it’s understandable why everyone else thinks he did. Logan’s drive to clear his name (or at least stay out of jail) takes him to believable, if unlikeable, noir depths—which the show engages with! If the murder of Felix Toombs were the main focus of season two, it would probably be a pretty great focal point. But it’s not. The main mystery only touches Logan’s storyline for about one episode, where it’s a red herring, and the rest of the time Logan and the Fitzpatricks mostly operate in a parallel track, at best distracting from and at worst confusing the real plot.

The rest of the cast are involved in the main mystery, but their involvement is a tricky thing. Most of them weren’t on the bus when it crashed, or before it crashed. Most of them aren’t directly connected to the Sharks, or to the mayor’s incorporation plan. (Wow, season 2 has a lot of plates in the air.) Their connections are, by and large, second-hand. Wallace is dating Jackie. Mac is kind of dating Cassidy. Keith and Veronica just really like solving mysteries. And also Keith is running for sheriff I guess?

The thing is, those second-hand connections work to keep the show in the realm of noir. We don’t need Wallace to get involved in a hit-and-run, okay? He can just have a tempestuous and heartfelt but ultimately doomed relationship with a girl with a mysterious past. Duncan probably didn’t need to go on the run with Meg’s coma baby; he could’ve just like, gone to boarding school in Connecticut.

Season two is very aware that some of its characters are noir and some of them are not, because it leverages that fact to make the mystery work. Cassidy is on the bus, and then leaves before it crashes; Cassidy alone of the main cast is heavily connected to the incorporation storyline; Cassidy basically has a big red arrow pointing at him for five episodes leading up to the finale saying, “Hey, SOMETHING’S GOING ON WITH THIS GUY.” But Veronica never seriously considers him as a suspect, and the only reason that the viewer doesn’t (if they don’t) is because... it’s Beaver! Beaver’s not a murderer! Beaver’s not that kind of character. It’s kind of like how season one shows you Aaron Echolls beating a guy half to death, but plays “That’s Amore” over it, and you don’t realize you’re looking at a clue—or how The Good Place hid its first season twist simply by being a sitcom. If you don’t know what genre you’re operating in, it’s hard to be genre savvy.

But there’s a risk that comes with that kind of writing: No one was invested in Aaron Echolls, but I can imagine that someone might’ve been invested in Cassidy. I wasn’t, but someone might’ve been. He was in the main credits. He was dating Mac. In order to make season two’s mystery noir, and meaningful, and keep it connected to the main characters, they had to burn a character with some real work invested in him, and do so in a way that potentially broke faith with viewers who really liked that character and his relationships. (And that’s not even getting into the really unfortunate implications of the specific motivation and backstory they gave to Cassidy.)

Season three is just kind of a mess, for a lot of reasons. It’s not particularly noir; they’ve lost the overarching mystery, as well as the show’s central setting; they lean heavily into the character drama, but although Veronica Mars is an ensemble character drama, it’s not just an ensemble character drama, and it can’t and shouldn’t function without a mystery to sustain it. But more importantly, everyone’s a little out of character, so even if character drama were enough, I wouldn’t be all that interested in watching almost!Veronica get in her fifth fight with almost!Logan. That said, I think that leaning into character drama is a safer way to jump the shark than leaning into noir; at worst, the show is going to get messy and boring, which is basically what happens. And the ending of season three is a pretty bang-on noir ending, and falls out naturally from the weird, messy character drama. It’s not a good season of television, but there’s a reason that it didn’t destroy fans’ love of the show.

This is ~*unconventional*~, I know, but I like the movie, both as a fan and, when I try to step back and approach it somewhat objectively, as a critic. It is extraordinarily fanservice-y; I don’t think that’s a bad thing. There are, perhaps, fanservice moments that I find a little over-the-top. (One of them, alas, is the repetition of the “lives ruined, bloodshed” speech; Logan was drunk the first time he gave that, he doesn’t remember it, and that’s half the point!) But on the whole, the movie gets it. Logan and Weevil (and Gia, may she rest in peace) are inherently noir characters who you can insert into a mystery or a story about corruption or cynicism, and although we don’t want them to have done the big bad thing, they will operate smoothly within the confines of the system. Wallace and Mac are visitors from another genre; the make connections, they comment, their lives are sometimes affected, but they are not noir, and their stories should not be noir. Veronica and Keith are the pivot, constantly drawn into Neptune’s seedy network of crime, trying to root it out.

It’s basically the Logan-and-Fitzpatricks storyline from season two, but updated so that a) Veronica and the rest of the cast is actually involved, and b) Logan is a much more likeable person. And it turns out that that’s a totally solid engine for a movie! And because it’s so fanservice-y, we spend time with all of the characters, even the ones who aren’t really entangled in the noir plots. Mac gets stuff to do. Wallace gets stuff to do. Piz... gets... poor Piz.

Season four leans heavily on the noir. So heavily, in fact, that the characters who aren’t natural noir characters are virtually nonexistent within the season. Wallace doesn’t have a storyline; Mac doesn’t appear because Tina Majorino refused to be in the season, since she wouldn’t have a storyline. Weevil, whose noir tendencies have put him on the outs with Veronica in between the movie and season four, has a story, but it’s not one that’s heavily tied to the main plot, and he’s not around much.

Structurally, season four is similar to season two, in that the main cast encounters a new mystery full of noir characters: Patton Oswalt, Matty the mini-Veronica, that politician and his family, those cartel hit men, Veronica’s bartender friend Nicole. The difference is that in season four, the main cast has functionally been pared down to three people: Veronica, Logan, and Keith. Oh, and Dick. Dick’s still hanging around, I guess.

Because of that, we spend virtually all of our time in season four with Veronica. Sometimes a little with Logan, sometimes with Keith, but mostly Veronica. We see her making friends with Nicole; we see her taking on Matty as a protege. We see her fight with Weevil; we see her fight with Logan.

Oh boy, do we see her fight with Logan. Because there are so few subplots to distract from it, Logan and Veronica’s relationship is, in many ways, the story of season four. For a show trying so desperately hard to cling to noir and run from character drama, season four isn’t really about corruption; it isn’t about power; it isn’t about cynicism or brutality or the ways that Neptune has been and always will be bad. It’s about a relationship, and what happens to it when one person (Logan) is trying to move on to a healthier place, but the other person (Veronica) is still stuck in old, toxic patterns of behavior.

Nearly everything in season four is in some way about the Logan/Veronica dichotomy, or about their relationship with each other, or about the way that Veronica is pathologically stubborn and guarded and suspicious, and how that kills her relationships. It’s the thematic underpinning of the Matty storyline; it’s what the Nicole storyline turns on; it is, whether the show understands it or not, the devastating backdrop of the few scenes in which Weevil appears.

This is all fine and noir, but again: It comes to its fullest fruition, it finds its highest stakes, the season’s arc reaches its climax, in a romantic relationship. Which the season is, fundamentally, devoted to the psychological exploration of. And when Veronica decides that she can commit to marrying Logan, that is a key moment of character development, in a show that has historically been an ensemble character drama, in a season of television that has been, at least for Logan and Veronica, at least partially a psychological character drama.

And then Logan blows up.

And look, I am not opposed to killing characters. I’ve defended the death of Lexa on The 100 on this here very blog. But Logan’s death is 1) stupid, 2) at a stupid time, and 3) for a stupid reason. He dies moving the car across the street, just at the culmination of a major psychological arc about toxicity and moving on and opening yourself up to others... so that Veronica can stay toxic and guarded, I guess?

It renders any character development we’ve seen from Veronica in season 4 pointless. It cuts the character development we’ve seen from Logan for over a decade tragically and meaninglessly short. And it does it all in the name of taking a hard turn into “pure” noir, so that Veronica can go investigate mysteries in other towns, unencumbered by a troublesome cast that viewers are unwilling to suspect of murder.

The problem is that that cast is a lot of what’s good about the show. Maybe there are people who watched season four of Veronica Mars and came out of it thinking, “Ah, yes, what this show needs is even less of the ensemble cast,” but I was not one of them. The Veronica of season 4 is not a particularly likeable person. Veronica, on her own, was never all that likeable; what she was was funny, and understandable, and righteous, and decent. She had people around her to be likeable, to provide you with an entry point into her mind, to show interesting sides of her you might not otherwise see, to call her out when she crossed a line, and to give the show a lightness that made it fun. The bomb that blew up Logan may have made the loudest noise, and had the most final impact, but it wasn’t what killed season four; that happened when the writers sidelined Wallace.

It is, I’m sure, difficult to balance being an ensemble character drama with being a seasonal noir mystery. (Jane the Virgin ran into similar trouble, in the long run, balancing being an ensemble character drama with being a telenovela.) Nevertheless, Veronica Mars is both of these things, and blowing up the ensemble to service the noir is inevitably going to alienate viewers, because viewers have a reasonable expectation that the shows they’re watching will continue to be the same general kind of show. And because many viewers were drawn to Veronica Mars at least as much for the characters as for the mystery.

So my very, very longwinded opinion on the later seasons of Veronica Mars is that I think the show has an identity crisis, and I don’t think it’s going to resolve it any time soon. It may not be resolvable; honestly, television might not be the best medium for ongoing Veronica Mars stories at this point. But I have very little interest in watching any further seasons produced, so it doesn’t matter much, from my point of view.

#logan's death hit me surprisingly hard #i did not care about logan AT ALL as a teenager #but it turns out that i was incredibly invested in the story of logan growing up making amends and getting his shit together #we don't actually get that story a lot #and i suppose it mattered to me #veronica mars #meta

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raeynbowboi · 4 years ago

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Bob’s Burgers 10th Anniversary Retrospective

After ten years, Bob, Linda, and the Kids are just as delightfully wacky and endearing as they ever were, and show no signs of slowing down. So I wanted to put together an ultra mega review of the series. I’ll give an opinion on main and recurring characters, as with a cast this big, there’s been a lot of endearing characters to grace the show over the years. However, I will only be counting characters that have appeared more than once. After ten years, there’s been some real gems, and some real misfires. So, I’ll be counting down my top 10 best episodes, and the bottom 10 worst episodes. I’ll also go through as a Highlight Reel, by picking a best and worst episode of each season, as well as crowning the Best Season with the most good episodes.

Bob Belcher

Honestly, Bob was a very easy character to mess up. He’s the straight man to his wacky family’s antics. But the show does a really great job making Bob simple and lowkey without making him boring or a stick in the mud. He may be resistant to weird things, but he puts up with it anyway to make his family happy. While he’s the serious straight man, they don’t fail to give Bob his own eccentricities and quirks that make him relatable and funny in his own way. Whether he’s making things talk, getting weirdly excited about Thanksgiving, or his awkward way of speaking, Bob is genuinely a good and relatable character. It’s also nice to see that Bob is a great husband and a loving father. He and Linda argue from time to time, but they’re not trapped in a loveless marriage for the kid’s sake like most shows. And even shows where that’s not a selling point like American Dad, Bob shows more remorse for things like forgetting their anniversary than Stan does for Francine. Bob is supportive, loving, and forgiving. Which is just amazing to watch. The times when his kids really need him, he’s there for them, and he helps them through their problems. While Bob might fight with and get mad with or annoyed by his family, Bob never treats them like people he’s stuck with. Frankly, Bob blows most animated TV dads out of the water. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stan or Francine give quiet supportive talks to Steve or Hayley ever in American Dad. Peter used to at least try to be a decent father, but now is a negligent toddler. Likewise, Homer used to be a great father who cared about his kids, but later seasons have really stepped away from the family angle the Simpsons used to have. In a sea of adult animated families that are toxic and destructive, Bob’s genuine love for his family came as a breath of fresh air.

Linda Belcher

Linda is by far the best Adult Animation TV mom there is. For one thing, she’s funnier than Francine, Lois, and Marge combined. But more importantly, she’s not the butt of the joke when it happens. I can only really remember laughing at Francine when they make dumb blonde jokes with her, but Linda’s jokes come from her character. She could have easily been the gender inverted Homer or Peter, but the writers are careful to make her gullible, trusting, and goofy without making her a moron. When the kids do something wrong, Linda busts out the tough mom act and you genuinely believe that the kids are in trouble. She’s not faking it. She’s not off in her own little world. She’s a bit of a goofy dreamer, but she’s able to be the tough disciplinarian when she needs to be. Her relationship with Bob is also better than most adult animation wives. She’s more independent than the other housewives, and even though her job is working with her husband, it never feels like it robs Linda of her own power, autonomy, and freedom. But the best thing about Linda is that I think most people can agree, she has an extremely strong and charming personality that endears us to her.

Tina Belcher

I really wish I could say I liked Tina more. She’s a creative romantic, just like me. I should love her. But her monotone deliveries and awkwardness isn’t as endearing as Bob’s. I like her better in episodes like Teen-A Witch and Broadcast Wagstaff School News where she has a bit stronger of a personality. But unfortunately, Tina is my least favorite member of the Belcher family, which isn’t to say that I hate her, she just doesn’t shine as bright as the rest of her family. She’s just not very funny or interesting on her own. But on the plus side, at least I don’t find Tina to be annoying or terrible except in the rare bad episode.

Gene Belcher

Gene is the only member of the family that can regularly get my dad to laugh, and with good reason. If he wasn’t such a well of nonsequitor punchlines, Gene would probably be the worst member of the family, but boy howdy do those random jokes pick up the slack. Gene is genuinely hilarious, even if I’d only rank him above Tina in terms of favoritism. However, I find that most Gene-centric episodes to be lackluster or below average. I think Gene’s best episode is probably Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien, but of the best episodes, none really come to mind that specifically star Gene. Gene is really better suited for a supporting role, and his times as the star showcase why comic reliefs aren’t the main character. They’re support characters for a reason. That’s not to say Gene-centric episodes are terrible. They just tend to range from about average to bad. Though Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien is a pretty good one.

Louise Belcher

Bob and Linda saved the best for last because Louise is the breakout star of the show. Funny, interesting, and the focus of many of the better episodes, Louise stands proudly on the first place podium with Linda in 2nd and Bob taking 3rd place. I think Louise’s strengths are especially due to her standoffish and naughty personality, which has lent itself to a lot of good character growth episodes. Season 10 Louise seems a lot more mature than Season 1 Louise. I think Louise works because while she does often have clever or sneaky solutions to problems, they don’t forget that she’s 9, so unlike Stewie, her age does present hurdles and barriers to her schemes and plans.

The Best and Worst of Bob’s Burgers

#10 WORST: Pro-Tiki/Con-Tiki (S6e15)

Why couldn’t Warren Fitzgerald just put that $100,000 into advertisements or to help Bob buy better equipment for his restaurant? My biggest issue with this episode isn’t the episode itself, it’s that the ending makes no sense. Warren wants to help Bob because he has a form of riches Warren lacks, and Bob doesn’t want a corporate sponsor to make changes to his brand. But why can’t Warren just give Bob the money to make choices he wants to make? They could stay as business partners, but Bob doesn’t have to sacrifice his personal vision for the restaurant. It’s just really frustrating when they’re both being too stupid and stubborn to see the obvious solution in front of their faces.

#10 BEST: Teen-a Witch (S7e03)

One of Tina’s best episodes, as someone who had a goth phase myself and dabbled a tiny amount in ‘witchcraft’, this episode brings back memories of high school and the desire to make the world what I wanted it to be. But on top of that, Tina with a backbone is when she really shines as a character, mostly because it means her humor isn’t being derived from her being awkward.

#9 WORST: Live and Let Fly (S9e05)

Mr. Frond embarrasses the kids, and they team up with Up-Skirt Kurt to get revenge against his sister and Mr. Frond. I’m not a fan of Kurt, so I already don’t care much about his feud with his sister, but I also just find the episode kind of boring. I don’t care about Kurt, I don’t care about his feud, and the kids call off their revenge, so that ends up not mattering either. Even Bob and Linda’s side plot is only middle-of-the-road quality for Bob’s Burgers.

#9 BEST: Wharf Horse/World Wharf II (S4e21-22)

The very first two-part episode Bob’s Burgers ever had, the season 4 finale is a great watching experience. It has some fun songs, funny character exchanges, suspenseful drama, and some heartfelt moments. It feels like a short movie, and that’s a good thing for a two-part episode to do. Even Fanny and Felix are interesting villains. But even after everything Felix did, I don’t find myself loathing him in later episodes, and that’s a hard thing to accomplish.

#8 WORST: Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks (S3e07)

This is the only bad Tina episode where the problem isn’t Tina herself. My biggest issue with this episode is more just the subject matter. Bob lies for insurance reasons about who was driving his car, and the entire episode is just Bob and Tina digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves. The solution to the issue is clever enough to redeem the episode somewhat, but the majority of the watching experience is just kind of an awkward dance of watching these two getting tangled up in a web of lies.

#8 BEST: The Taking of Funtime One Two Three (S9e02)

Bar none, this is the single best ‘Heist’ episode of Bob’s Burgers, and it’s kind of crazy that Bob’s Burgers has actually built a repertoire to where I can make a list of ‘heist’ episodes as an archetype. This one feels the most like an actual heist movie, and the ending is legitimately clever and unexpected. But even more than that, if you’re paying attention, you can see the twist before the characters even reveal it. That is the kind of tight writing that makes the list for best episodes.

#7 WORST: A Fish Called Tina (S10e12)

Tina spends an episode trying way too hard to make someone like her, to the point that she almost humiliates a 4th grader in public just so she can live out some fantasy. It’s really uncomfortable and sickening to watch Tina do this. This will be a recurring issue with Tina’s low-point episodes. There’s nothing fun about watching a character make a complete idiot out of themselves by coming on too strong. It even makes me groan when Kaylie shows up in another Season 10 episode because I don’t want to have to think about this awful episode.

#7 BEST: Stand By Gene (S6e12)

Something about this episode really just brings back memories of my childhood. Memories of walking through the outdoors, just exploring and wanting to find things. The characters are funny, and Bob and Linda’s relationship is put to the test. Plus, I loved that for the entire episode, you don’t know how it’ll end. It really makes this a personal favorite and one of the episodes I knew had to make it on my list.

#6 WORST: The Grand Mama-Pest Hotel (S7e13)

Linda ruins things for Tina by being an overbearing annoyance. Are you noticing a trend with Bob’s Burgers’ worst episodes? I don’t like it when good characters make complete jackasses out of themselves in the name of ‘humor’. It’s not funny. It’s annoying and makes me dislike them. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the latter half of the 2nd act and the entire third act, but Linda’s behavior just makes me cringe and ask why they had to do Linda dirty like this? It just puts me even more squarely on the side that Tina is entirely in the right and I don’t want to deal with Lind either.

#6 BEST: Broadcast Wagstaff School News (S3e12)

From Tina at her lowest point to Tina at her best, Broadcast Wagstaff School News is my favorite episode of the first 5 seasons. Tina’s funny and engaging, Gene is absolutely shining as Little Bob, and while Louise and Linda play supporting roles in this episode, they’re still funny as well. Plus, the mystery is a good one, and this episode is even referenced in later seasons.

#5 WORST: Mazel-Tina (S4e13)

Tina ruins Tammy’s birthday and steals her party. This is Tina at rock bottom. Tina is so despicable, cruel, and selfish in this episode that it reminds me that behind that creative awkward girl is a selfish brat who doesn’t care if she hurts other people if she can live out her fantasies. If other episodes didn’t rescue Tina from being so unlikable, I probably would hate Tina as a character entirely for her behavior in this episode.

#5 BEST: The Silence of the Louise (S8e02)

Movie parodies are some of the best, and The Silence of the Louise is the queen of all the movie parodies. When Mr. Frond’s therapy dolls are mutilated, and the school staff calls off the waterpark trip until the culprit is caught, Louise teams up with psycho Millie to figure out whodunnit. This is also one of the first time Millie wasn’t strictly an antagonist, and she genuinely felt like someone who could be Louise’s friend someday.

#4 WORST: Boywatch (S8e16)

Tina ruins things for other people by coming on too strong. The only reason this is ranked higher than Mozel-Tina is because in that episode, she just wanted to be at the party, and just kind of ended up as the star of the party and let it go to her head, whereas here, she is actively ruining things for other people in pursuit of her own delusions and fantasies. Tina has no desire to be a junior lifeguard, but cute boys causes her to behave like a troublemaker. She’s entirely out of character, and her teammates’ hate for her behavior is something I agree with. I don’t want to hate the main characters, so why does this show keep pushing to make Tina a nuisance who ruins experiences for other people?

#4 BEST: The Quirkducers (S7e06)

If the Silence of the Louise is the queen of film parodies, then The Quirkducers is the king. Not only is it a clever parody of The Producers, but it also has some damn good musical numbers, especially the edited end credit version. But it’s Tina’s song at the end that stands as one of my favorites of all Bob’s Burgers’ songs.

#3 WORST: Bed & Breakfast (S1e07)

If a Fish Called Tina is bad, then Bed & Breakfast is flaming garbage. Linda turns their apartment into a Bed and Breakfast, and Linda goes berserk when the guests don’t play into her expectations. This episode verges from below average to detestable as Linda goes insane and locks people in their rooms, and Louise drives a grown man to attack workers by preying on his fear.

#3 BEST: The Hauntening (S6e03)

This is hands-down the best Halloween episode that Bob’s Burgers ever made. This show turns out some amazing holiday episodes, and this is one of the best the Belchers have to offer. I won’t dare give away anything about this episode. If you’ve seen it, you know why it’s top of the heap, and if you haven’t, then all I can say is what are you waiting for? Delayed gratification has to pay off eventually.

#2 WORST: Every Which Way But Goose (S9e14)

Tina falls in love with a goose. Who smoked crack before writing this episode, and who huffed enough paint thinner to approve this episode for production? This is the absolute dumbest concept for an episode I have ever come across. Who thought this was a good idea? I can’t even pinpoint the flaws because this entire episode is just so flawed. At least Mazel-Tina and Boywatch enrage me. This just baffles me.

#2 BEST: A Few Gurt Men (S7e11)

When Mr. Ambrose accuses Mr. Frond of stealing his yogurt from the faculty lounge, the case is brought before student court, and Louise is tasked with acting as Defense Council for Mr. Frond. One thing Bob’s Burgers does well is mysteries, and this is a good one as Louise has to figure out a way to prove Frond’s innocence. This is just an absolute personal favorite. Every character is just on point, and I get excited when the episode starts to que up.

#1 WORST: Moody Foodie (S2e07)

Did you ever want to watch the Belchers commit a felony? Then boy howdy do I have an episode for you! A picky food critic responsible for shutting down restaurants comes to Bob’s Burgers. Bob messes up the order, and a visit to the critic’s house to get him to try his burger again leads to a hostage situation with the critic tied to a chair and gagged in his own home. Words cannot describe the depth to which I hate this episode. The entire episode feels dirty and vile. I feel the need to scrub my skin raw after sitting through this episode. The instant I realize that it’s come on, I skip the the next one. I have literally only sat through this episode once. This episode disgusts me. This episode has the main character, abduct somebody in their own home. Then they take a second hostage when a mailman delivers the guy’s package. Luckily, Bob’s Burgers has a lot of good episodes to make up for this one bad egg, but this episode enrages me to the point that if the family wasn’t so charming and endearing most of the time, I might have stopped watching based just on this one episode.

#1 BEST: The Bleakening: Part 1 & 2 (S8e06-07)

The first time I saw these episodes, they played back to back without any credits in between them, and I thought it was one episode, and I didn’t even realize it was the length of two episodes. Between the amazing songs, the brain bending twists, the creative creature, the dark elements that contrast the bright lights of the holidays, and the uplifting ending, this pair of episodes stands paramount as the single greatest viewing experience that Bob’s Burgers has to offer.

Favorite Friend of the Kids: Regular-Sized Rudy

First appearing in Carpe Museum, Rudy came back in The Kids Rob a Train, where he has remained a friend of the kids since. Rudy was the first to join the kids if you don’t count Andy and Ollie who seem to dip in and back out as to whether they’re included in the friend group. Rudy was thus the first to be made a main member of the kids’ friend group.

Favorite Schoolyard Seven: Jocelyn

The Schoolyard Seven is the friend group of the three Belchers, Jimmy Jr., Zeke, Tammy, and Jocelyn. Not counting the Belchers, it was a close call between Zeke and Jocelyn. Tammy and Jimmy Jr. tend to be typecast as serving one niche thing, but Zeke and Jocelyn are often the comedic gold. However, while Zeke is more interesting of the two, I just enjoy Jocelyn too much to not give her the win. Even if Jocelyn’s humor is just a walking dumb blonde trope, like Gene, Jocelyn has a knack for funny one-liners. If the groups has another name, I’m not privy to it.

Favorite Friend of the Family: Micky

Though he’s less connected to the family now, Micky has been a friend to the Belchers since Bob Day Afternoon, and returning in Bob Fires the Kids. Since his introduction, Micky has gotten a job at Wonder Wharf, where he has remained since.

Favorite Recurring Villain: Logan Bush

First appearing in Ears-y Rider, Logan has been a fun and interesting frenemy for Louise to match wits with. In a show where most other villains are the same age as the main characters (Millie, Tammy, Chloe, Jimmy Pesto, Hugo) Logan stands out as a legitimate bully. Yet, even he was willing to work with Louise in Mother-Daughter Laser Razor, showing that there is wiggle room for the two of them to even join forces and spread havoc together.

Favorite Tina Love Interest: Duncan

Earnest if not a little awkward, Duncan seems like a sweet boy for Tina to possibly end up with. Sasha Whiteman is another character I could easily see being a good boyfriend to Tina because his quick wit and social graces make him a great foil to Tina, and he excels where Tina falls short. Zeke has a good chance to be a good boyfriend, but Tina still spits his name when she greets him, so I doubt she’d take interest in him unless something happens to change their dynamic. I liked Josh, but now that he’s said he doesn’t like her anymore and she agreed that she feels the same, I doubt we’re going to see them date further in the future.

Favorite Side Character: Nat Kinkle the Limo Driver

First appearing in Season 8 episode 8 V for Valentine-detta, I must not be the only fan of Nat’s because she made two appearances in the 10th season, in episode 1 The Ring (But Not Scary) and episode 17 Just the Trip. Currently with only 3 appearances, she’s still only a side character, but I get the feeling that like with Rudy, Courtney, Darrel and Alex before her, Nat will keep becoming a more frequent character. She just has a great vibe, and her charisma is intoxicating. She meshes great with the family, making her an absolute delight to watch.

Favorite Bit Character: Marshmallow

Although she’s appeared in multiple episodes since her introduction in Sheesh, Cab Bob, Marshmallow has never gotten much more than a couple lines, with her biggest role being in The Bleakening where she had more to say. She was also the first major LGBT+ recurring character on the show, which also made her a joy to see, whenever she returned to Bob’s Burgers.

Favorite Headcanon: Gene is Genderfluid

Gene’s jokes have been centered on his gender or sexuality since the first season finale. A joke once in a while is one thing, but ten years of the same sorts of jokes tells the sharp viewer that there’s more to it than just a running gag. With how many jokes have Gene talk about having boobs, synching his cycle, or calling himself Tina and Louise’s sister or Bob and Linda’s daughter, it’s my opinion that Gene is genderfluid, or possibly even transgender. The only reason I say genderfluid over a transgirl is because he still also addresses himself as a boy or a man as much as he does girl jokes.

Best Song: Twinkly Lights (Ms. XXX-Mas)

Not only does Toddrick Hall absolutely kill this performance, but I also love the meaning of the song about POC inclusivity and pride in the LGBT+ community. As the final song in The Bleakening, it’s one hell of a closing number, and I can’t help but dance in my seat whenever it plays. I’ve even listened to it independent from watching the show, and honor I don’t bestow on every song.

Best Episode Archetypes:

The Best Heist: The Taking of Funtime One Two Three

The Belcher kids have stolen a number of things. Chocolate, a bounce house, but the absolute creme de la creme of their heists is the procuring of the Dunebuggy from Family Funtime. When Family Funtime unplugs the macchines whenver the kids get too many tickets from them, the kids decide to pull off the heist of a century to make off with the biggest prize of the arcade: the dune buggy.

The Kids Tell An Anthology: Moms, Lies, and Videotapes

From the Gayle Tales to The Handyman Can, the kids have told a number of anthology stories, but the most impressive of the bunch is their stories of the mother’s day plays into three interesting stories. Though true to form, Gene’s is the weakest of the three, as his usually are. I don’t recall any time when his anthology was the best of the kids’, but then, Gene is not the most creative of the three children. His best story is probably in The Frond Files where his story’s world is colorful and fun to observe.

Best Musical Episode: The Bleakening

Not only do these episodes have a lot of musical numbers, but there is not a single one that doesn’t hit a home run. But more importantly, the entire episode is a musical, with each number helping to tie and bridge together the narrative, which is the entire purpose of musical numbers in a proper musical, which makes this the single best musical episode mainly because it’s the only episode that’s a true blue musical.

Best Holiday Episode: The Hauntening

With The Bleakening already taking the top spot for musical episodes, that leaves the Miss Congeniality of the holiday episodes to take the crown. I didn’t spoil anything about this episode above, and I won’t say a thing about it now. This episode is solid gold.

Best Film Parody: The Quirkducers

Not only is this episode clever in the way it uses its source material, but the family all have moments to shine despite the stars being Louise and Gene. The show also makes good use of the Schoolhouse Seven (the main group of the Belcher Kids, Jimmy and Zeke, and Tammy and Jocelyn), and each of them brings something great to the episode. It undoubtedly earned its place in the top 10, and will likely hold its place for years to come.

#bobs burgers #Bob's Burgers #belchers #the belchers #bob belcher #Linda Belcher #gene belcher #tina belcher #louise belcher #seymores bay

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coldshrugs · 4 years ago

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thank you for this blessed template, @possumsunshine. this was so fun and cute, i couldn't resist after seeing it on my dash 💗

pulled a couple of answers from oc asks i've done recently because oof this got long.

QUICK READ OF YOUR DETECTIVE

Name: alma greene

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual

Love interest: mason

Best friend: felix but also nate

Main skill: science/tech

Secondary skill: people/psychology

Main personality trait: tied for impulsive and sarcastic

Secondary personality trait: stubborn

Why did they join the Wayhaven PD?: she’s not a detective, but science skills

Relationship with Rebecca: very close, even with absences, but waning

Relationship with Bobby: college friend, currently hates him

Verda or Tina?: both

Murphy bite?: wrist

Murphy’s fate?: at large, babyyy

Rescue LI or Rescue Sanja?: sanja

GENERAL

Name: alma eloise greene

Nickname: sweetheart/space girl by mason; sweetie by rebecca

Birthday: june 12th

Age: 29

Pronouns: she/her

Sexuality: bisexual (demiromantic??)

Hair color: dark brown

Eye color: dark brown, nearly black

Height: 5’1”

Piercings: ears, former nostril piercings

Tattoos: a small snail on her right arm, super cartoony spaceship and tractor beam over the words “i want to believe” on the back of her left calf

Clothing Style: “modern” i guess, according to the game. tbh i usually describe it as “too old to be an e-girl but too cute to care.” bleached denim, dark plaid, graphic crop tops, black vans or converse, thigh-high tights, etc etc

Apartment Style: cozy. did she find it on the side of the road or goodwill or an estate sale? if not, it’s probably not in her apartment.

STATS

Personality:

Charming | Intimidating

Impulsive | Cautious

Sarcastic | Genuine

Friendly | Stoic

Easygoing | Stubborn

Traits:

Heart | Mind

Optimist | Pessimist

Team Player | Independent

Skills:

Main Skill: science/tech

Second Skill: people/psychology

By the Book | Bend the Rules

KEY DECISIONS

Reason for joining the Wayhaven PD: alma is wayhaven’s only forensic analyst because i refuse to let my black oc be a cop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in-game, she’s 100% there for her scientific prowess.

Murphy bite: Wrist | Neck | None

Murphy’s Fate: Captured | Escaped

Rescued: Love Interest | Sanja

ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

Love Interest: mason

Why them?: on a meta level: oh no he’s hot

but alma’s reasoning is that he’s very upfront about what he wants in the beginning and she’s never been pursued in such a way. It’s a bit of a rush and an ego boost for her at first. but mason’s loyalty very quickly becomes the steadiness alma’s been missing for most of her life and she latches on to that. she’s not had someone so dependable around in… well, ever. and her physical attraction becomes emotional VERY quickly.

Bold, shy, or mixed?: shy until they sleep together, then a mix of bold and genuine afterward.

What were their first impressions of each other?:

alma on mason: thought he was super attractive but that was quickly pushed aside by “holy shit, this guy’s an ass.” she thinks he’s an uncooperative jerk that only cares about himself for quite a while, honestly. she asks him along for things she wants to do alone precisely because she thinks he’ll be the most likely to just stay out of her way. she’s surprised by his attitudes and opinions, and her incorrect assumptions about them, during those times.

mason on alma: would never, ever, ever admit that his first thought upon meeting Alma was simply “cute.” he quickly found parts of her to assess individually. those first few days were mostly spent appraising her physical attributes and watching her back when she needed it. mason did find her funny right away, but he wasn’t willing to trust someone new, regardless of that person being their handler’s daughter or not.

What do they find attractive about each other, mentally or physically?:

alma on mason: his eyes, freckles, and every single version of his smile. his decisiveness, differentially, and willingness to stab as a warning.

mason on alma: her hair tbh, there’s just… a lot of it. her hips, her eyelashes. He also likes her adaptability, sense of humor, and the warmth she gives with no expectation of reciprocation.

What do they do to spend time together?: lots of stargazing, lots of watching tv very quietly and making fun of the storylines they don’t understand until they get bored and make out instead, walking around the quieter parts of wayhaven or taking late-night drives.

What is their favorite memory together?: i like to think mason finds the carnival photo of them after the place has been sacked and gives it to alma sometime later. both the taking of the photo and the giving of it are very fond memories for both of them.

What are their love languages?: touch, quality time.

How do they handle being apart from one another?: badly. mason absolutely hates it after a time. if alma’s out of town, he’s in her apartment with the excuse of feeding her cat, but it’s 100% just to sleep in her bed and be around all the things that make her, her. alma does a little better. she’s used to having folks sort of come and go and come again, but she gets almost hyper-insecure?? it’s nothing she’d admit openly, but she’s second-guessing herself in totally unrelated aspects of her life until they’re reunited.

Do they argue? How do they handle arguments and disagreements? How do they make up?: they don’t necessarily argue, but they disagree with the intent to problem solve. alma is pretty flexible and as long as she can understand why someone might feel the way they feel, she’s willing to hear them out or go along with their plan. if an argument does get out of hand, they need space from it for a while. they each have places to retreat for those times, and they wait for the “hey” text to come through to know it’s time to talk about it.

What does their future look like?: alma becomes a vampire two years into their relationship. they move into a quiet, old house on the edge of town until the whole team moves elsewhere. mason has to get used to having a cat because october has several years left in him. they don’t get married, but they’re inseparable.

Anything else you’d like to share: in the time before alma turns, mason learns to perfect making grilled cheese because it’s what alma craves when she’s not feeling well. He makes the grilled cheese then he immediately showers to get the smell off him but he makes it regardless.

BEST FRIEND RELATIONSHIP

Best friend: depending on the playthrough it swaps between felix and nate, but felix feels more in character

Why them?: alma loves felix’s sense of adventure and nosiness. Most of all she loves that he won’t judge her for pulling the same shit every now and then.

What were their first impressions of each other?: alma was super thrown off by that hand kiss. “who the fuck is this mischief-maker?” while nate was very kind and warm, felix (surprisingly) was the UB teammate that really humanized the rest of the team for alma. he’s fun and genuine and wants everyone else to be happy together. felix was incredibly interested to learn more about alma, as a human, as his boss’s daughter, and then as a friend when she readily accepted the supernatural and, by extension, him as a vampire. The fact that she’s easily flustered or surprised really works in his favor because he lives for being the most shocking person in the room.

What do they do to spend time together?: they share music, they dance, and they text A LOT. lots of memes, lots of “what does [x] mean?” “oh nice” “[proceeds to use the thing they just learned incorrectly]”. they also compare and share hair products.

Anything else you’d like to share: they each have a tamagotchi named after the other (baby felix and baby alma) and they compete to see who can keep theirs alive the longest. everyone loses.

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS (Feel free to go in-depth!)

Relationship with Rebecca: oof okay. alma seeks rebecca’s approval and depends on her for a sense of safety and “stability.” in some ways, she wants to be exactly like her mom: strong, independent, unbothered, worldly. but a lot of that shatters the longer alma works professionally with rebecca and with the revelations surrounding rook. alma sees how much rebecca uses her as a crutch, projects her perceived failures onto alma’s life, and over-shelters her.

Relationship with Rook: alma doesn’t remember him and tries not to think of him often or fondly or at all BUT she has so many of his things. his flannels, his detective badge, his ancient comic book collection (which is the only reason she has her own). she has his eyes and his impulsive streak, his care for people of all varieties. she IS rook’s daughter and she ignores that fact so it doesn’t hurt her.

Relationship with Bobby: they used to be very close, slightly flirty friends but there’s no way in hell alma can trust him now. (i originally had bobby as alma’s ex but it was all getting a little too Bella Swan for me. like bobby, douglas, the werewolves, falk, and mason like????? it was a bit much so bobby’s just an old ex-friend)

Relationship with Verda: alma fucking loves verda. that’s her mentor, that’s her dad friend. she feels a sense of Pride and Accomplishment when she can make verda laugh or impress him in the lab, or both. alma’s fond of spending evenings over his place with eric and the kids, making dinner, or just hanging out.

Relationship with Tina: tina was alma’s first friend as a kid. they lost touch in high school because tina was bubbly and cute and popular, while alma was… not. but the summer before they left for college they ran into each other at a house party and since that reconnection, they’ve been thick as thieves. it was like nothing had changed. tina is a light in alma’s life, and alma lets tina lean into the stranger parts of herself without judgment.

Relationship with the Mayor: thinks he’s a creep and a bad parent.

Relationship with Capt. Sung: appreciates how he prioritizes the town and its people, but thinks he could loosen up a bit.

Relationship with Haley: haley is a couple of years older than alma but they’ve known each other forever. alma admires haley’s work ethic and cheery attitude.

Relationship with Elidor: oh man, alma is absolutely stunned by elidor. he’s beautiful, kind, and knowledgeable. in those early days, elidor is responsible for quite a bit of her supernatural education. alma grills him while he nurses her back to health. her curiosity is refreshing to him.

Relationship with Tapeesa/Vieno: alma thinks vieno is cute and funny, says hi when she sees them around, but they’re not best friends or anything. she can’t shake the thought that they’re basically a fae version of danny devito.

Relationship with Unit Alpha: absolutely smitten with lesedi. she’s never seen a more beautiful woman. tamiko ends up being a pretty good friend. the twins are on her social periphery but alma’s not close with them.

Relationship with the Maa-alused: alma sincerely wants to help them adjust to life in this world and takes that goal very seriously. at the same time she really really wishes falk hadn’t developed this weird attachment to her.

Do they have any other important relationships, past or present? (Relatives, friends, etc.?): YES. i’ve thrown another oc in wayhaven for the express purpose of being The Detective. His name is javi. alma met him in college and they were fast friends. alma convinced him to try out wayhaven after graduation. They lived together for a while and now they, along with tina, can often be seen in the corner booth of chen’s pub.

she was also very close with her maternal grandmother before she died. she was raised by her while rebecca was absent, but i need to develop this more.

her cat, october, whom she’s had for five years. he’s a sweet, mostly black tortie that can hardly meow. alma adopted him as an adult when she got her own place.

PERSONAL BIO

Describe their personality: alma is so open and ready to accept new possibilities. she’s the sort of person that embraces what scares her, finds beauty in it, and loves it intensely. she’s sharp and resourceful. i wouldn’t exactly describe her as hard-working, but she’s knowledgeable about her field and tries to be helpful when she has a goal in mind.

she’s quite tactile. touchy with other people. likes to use her hands for work or hobbies. she doesn’t really mind being alone for long stretches of time but would prefer not to be. she wants others to want to be around her.

she’s also terrible at being honest about her trauma. everything is fine, she’s fine, she doesn’t need to talk about this :) :) :) she will handle the breakdown when it happens and not one second before. also, with quick wit comes uncontrollable sarcasm and it does not always hit well.

Strengths: the only person in unit bravo that knows how to use google

Weaknesses: squishy

Where in the world is their Wayhaven?: super torn here because wayhaven feels inland to me, but i think i’ve finally settled on the north carolina coast but not like the outer banks area. If not there, then maybe virginia, closer to the chesapeake bay.

What is their personal history?: alma is born to rook and rebecca in wayhaven. spends her childhood being raised mostly by her grandmother, idolizes rebecca. academic success comes easily for her; a heavy interest in science leads to a scholarship at a university just far away enough to feel like she’s Leaving The Nest. alma dates a bit in college but she’s the type to end up becoming friends with everyone she sleeps with and romance is difficult for her to cultivate. when she does date, the relationships are short-lived. she returns to wayhaven after school and puts her degree to work in wayhaven’s police department. she wishes she’d applied for a position in the city but craves the comfort (and tbh, the low stakes) of home.

If they weren’t a detective, what would their dream job be?: she’s a forensic analyst and honestly?? it’s a pretty dreamy job for her. she loves being a scientist, loves helping people, and isn’t easily grossed out.

Anything else you’d like to share: has tried to stay overnight in an ikea. did not succeed.

RANDOM FACTS

Zodiac sign: gemini

Hobbies: reading peer-reviewed journals, watching terrible sci-fi, collecting comic books and mugs, thrift shopping

Likes: good hair days, denim jackets, vanilla candles, halloween, unflavored lipbalm, driving at night, that warm “surrounded by love” feeling, snails, fuzzy socks

Dislikes: the lights while driving at night, winter, dry skin, minimalist decor, smudged glasses, being overwhelmed with choices

Drink of choice: white wine usually, white russians if she’s out at chen’s, or shots of jaeger if she’s feeling trashy

Starbucks order: grande flat white with 3 pumps of toffee nut syrup and a sprinkle of cinnamon

Favorite food: a simple, fresh spaghetti pomodoro OR lemon meringue pie

Favorite color: golden mustard yellow

Favorite music: she loves just about everything and it’s heavily dependant on her mood. (this is actually really difficult to think about without feeling like i'm giving her my exact taste in music but here's a little playlist that fits her vibe)

Favorite genre (and favorite movie/book/etc): science fiction or psychological thrillers, but her favorite movie is oliver and company.

Favorite season: fall

Anything else you’d like to share: has a stupid amount of blankets stashed around her apartment. she really does not like being cold.

#alma greene #twc #i uhhh i spent a very long time on this and i'm still like #who is this person #but it's fine it's fine #i can rest

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