#i also spent ALL DAY yesterday and today applying for new jobs so there that too

[hard--headed--woman]

Hey! After talking about not just a lesbian but a lesbian couple yesterday in my post about Elisa y Marcela, I will do the same thing today ! This time, the two women are american. Their names are

Donna Burkett and Manonia Evans !

"I did not believe the government had any business telling me who I could marry."

This sentence aptly describes the convictions and state of mind of the two women in 1971.

This year, indeed, Donna Burkett and Manonia Evans applied to a Milwaukee County clerk for a marriage license, decades before their state legalized homosexual marriages. At the time, their story made the rounds of the national media and newspapers, attracting the hatred of some and the admiration of others. Such a bold move at a time when homophobia was so rife was bound to get people talking! They were the first same-sex couple to do such thing.

Aged 25 and 21 respectively, the two women had met in a gay bar. After being refused a license, they filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the denial of marital benefits, including inheritance rights and joint tax filings, did not afford them the equal protection granted by the Constitution. The complaint read, “The legal increments of marriage ought to be shared irrespective of generic differences, to wit: mutual fulfillment and happiness and the equal opportunity to share in the benefits of the law as those in heterosexual unions blessed by the civil marriage contract.”

Federal judge Myron Gordon dismissed the suit over "technical legal issues".

Meantime, Donna and Manonia still wanted to get married, so they invited 250 family and friends together on Christmas Day 1971 for a ceremony officiated by Joseph Feldhausen, a gay Russian Orthodox priest, in Milwaukee. Some members of their family, like Manonia's parents, were not present, not accepting this union, but the two women were OK with it, saying that it's part of life when you're gay.

Their wedding also made it to the news.

The results of their newfound fame were not positive ; the young couple’s friends shunned them, Donna lost her job, and Manonia got kicked out of school. Manonia’s father, a preacher, said he’d rather see his daughter dead than homosexual.

Unfortunately, the strain took its toll and eventually, Donna and Manonia split up. Both of them spent the rest of their life fighting for gay rights. Some years ago, Donna, who isn’t married even though she now has the right to, said that she doesn't care anymore, that she's happy with herself, but glad that young homosexuals can marry who they love. The two women haven't seen each other in many, many years.

It sounds like a very sad story indeed; their attempt to obtain the right to marry failed, their coming out caused them a lot of problems, and they ended up separating because of it all.

But this story and the determination of these two young women has encouraged many homosexuals to fight for the right to marry, and has definitely helped this cause achieve its goal.

Although their lawsuit was ultimately unsuccessful, the argument they used – equal protection under the Constitution – was cited by U.S. District Judge Barbara Crabb more than 40 years later, when she overturned Wisconsin’s ban on same-sex marriage in 2014.

I personally love this story and think we should all remember it, as it is important in global lesbian history, and is so interesting and inspiring!

[metalmonki]

Objection!

Rafael Barba x fem!Carisi!reader

1k word count

Summary All you wanted was to be a lawyer like your big brother Sonny. So what happens when you get a job working under the famous ADA Rafael Barba

slow-burn, colleague to friends to lovers

Next Chapter

The day had finally come. I had successfully graduated Harvard Law. My Mum, Dad, brother Sonny and sisters Bella, Teresa and Gina had made the trip out of Staten Island to witness the graduation. The youngest of the Carisi clan, I choose to follow Sonny into the criminal prosecution career track. Sonny had recently transferred to the Elite Manhattan Special Victims Unit and was also studying at Fordham Law ‘to make myself a better detective’ he had said. Sonny and I, despite our 11-year age gap, were completely inseparable. He had been the one who got the rest of our family together to be here today. Sonny is the whole reason I was graduating today. He had encouraged me even after Mum and Dad had voiced their disappointment at my choice.

I had barely made it off the stage when Sonny had scooped me up in his arms and began spinning us around. He had the worlds biggest smile on his face and repeated over and over again how proud he was of me. Our parents and sisters soon joined us.

“I’m going to cook a big feast tonight just for you” Mom smiled.

“You always cook a big feast, that’s every meal for you” Dad scoffed.

“Oh shush you cranky old man” Mum swatted at him with open hands.

We all laughed at the pair and walked off to the cars. We had a long drive ahead of us back to Staten Island. After dinner I would then have to drive back into Manhattan with Sonny. I had come here with Sonny yesterday from his apartment in Manhattan and had no choice but to go back there with him tonight. Now I had graduated I had no clue what I was suppose to do. I had been applying for positions in almost every law firm in New York with no luck. I’d even applied for the DA’s office with no success. I knew Sonny would let me live with him for however long it took for me to find my feet. He had insisted on it in fact when I’d moved back to New York last month. This had been Mum and Dads complaint. I would waste my time on a piece of paper that would lead me nowhere. I’d even put in an extra two years on a masters degree just to increase my chances.

“Hay kiddo is everything okay?” Sonny spoke up “You’ve been silent for the last 45 minutes and you look worried”

“Maybe Mum and Dad were right” Was all I could get out.

“About what? Don’t tell me your doubting yourself now” Sonny smiled over at me.

“I spent the whole month applying for positions with no luck, all I’ve managed is a minimum wage bodega job. I can’t rely on you forever Sonny, you have your own life, the woman at work you said you fancy, while I just wasted six years to get a piece of paper that’s turning out to be useless. I wanted to be up there with the greats like Alexander Cabot and Rafael Barba” I sighed picking at my nails.

“Y/N Carisi always worrying” Sonny chuckled “Give it time you’ll get something soon; you don’t need to rush”

“I’m not trying to rush I just don’t like not knowing” I threw my hands up.

But wait I did. For 9 months I applied for any law jobs that came up. I worked my ass off at the bodega, saving every penny I could to get out of Sonny’s flat. Then one day it happened. I had been busy cooking dinner, a simple chicken alfredo, when Sonny basically smashed his way through the door. I hadn’t expected him home until much later. I knew they were having trouble catching the Central Park Strangler as the papers had dubbed him. A horrid man who would stalk lone women in central park, strangle and rape them. Sonny had said he was escalating an attack every night, he hadn’t killed anyone yet but Sonny was sure he would soon. He had made me promise not to leave the flat alone at night until they got the guy. He had left DNA at every scene so as soon as they got him he was going away for life. No chance of a plea bargain, no way to weasel out of it. Sonny had a huge smile on his face as he walked into the kitchen.

“I’m guessing by the smile on your face you caught your guy? That or you finally grew a pair and asked Amanda out and she said yes” I chuckled.

“Yes, well no, but yes” Sonny stumbled over his words while he hung his coat up and took his shoes off.

“Well which is it?” I laughed.

“We caught the guy, Barba had him shipped to rikers an hour ago” Sonny put his brief case on the bench and dug through it producing a manila envelope. “I also got this for you” he handed the envelope to me. 

I wiped my hands off on my apron and took the envelope. I turned it over in my hands taking note of the District Attorneys office logo in the corner. I disregarded it as just being an envelope Sonny had handy. I turned the envelope over once more and unwound the string keeping it closed. Inside was a stack of paperwork maybe 30 pages thick. Written on top of the first sheet in bold letters were the words OFFER OF EMPLOYMENT. I looked up shocked at Sonny before looking back at the papers. We are pleased to offer you a position as an assistant to ADA Rafael Barba at the New York District  Attorney Office.

“Oh Sonny this is amazing thank you”  I pulled him into a hug.

“It was nothing I just called in a favour when I heard Barba needed some extra help”  Sonny chuckled “All you need to do is fill in the forms and drop them off to Barba tomorrow. He says he’ll in his office from 3 onward”.

“I’ll fill them in first thing but for now lets eat!”.

“Oh you mean the food that’s burning on the stove?” Sonny chuckled.

“Shit!” I spun back to the stove but it was pointless the chicken had already started turning black and the pasta was almost boiled dry.

“I’ll order out and you can trying to salvage my pot and pan” Sonny laughed walking off phone in hand.

[muerteporfavor]

Hola!

So I finally cracked. I skipped yesterday entirely. I just did not think to do duolingo/update here yesterday morning and then I spent the whole day out until 3pm when I hit the road and drove until midnight.

So.

Anyway, I'm officially back from vacation so we are slipping right back into the swing of things. (I'm also no longer being brutally assaulted by allergies so cheers!)

To Do List:

apply for jobs (I've actually already done this but I'm listing it anyway)

duolingo

work on some art projects (TBA)

yoga (we are getting back into the stretching and strengthening routine goddamnit)

I'm making the damn notebooks already. I've put it off long enough.

And that's probably (?) it. I've already done a lot today already. As I bought a bit of memorabilia from my trip and got it all up on my wall plus stuck new stickers to my laptop. And I've already unpacked. (it's literally 3:30pm and I've been up since 8am so that's not impressive. Just pretend it is.)

More to come later!!

[puraiuddo]

i feel like i’ve official hit adult now that my only desired items for xmas were 1) mattress topper (for by bad back b/c i can’t afford a new mattress) 2) weighted blanket (to help with my anxiety and insomnia) & 3) nice slippers (to keep my poorly circulated feet warm)

[whentherewerebicycles]

all right friends 10 updates from the trenches:

still mostly off tumblr but am allowing myself to browse a bit in the evening, as you do

i have submitted 12 job applications and have heard nothing but i am trying not to freak out it’s not even been a full week for some of them and i am sure people took time off for the 4th!

today i spent literally 12 hours working on the same letter. i started getting concerned that i wasn’t tailoring the letters enough so i tried doing more but then it was so long i was having to restructure other parts of the letter and then i was making it worse so i ditched six hours of work and started over again. kill me!! it was not a good use of my time but i think the reason it was so hard was because i was trying to teach myself a new skill (tailoring) by doing it on the fly without much forethought or preparation, and so i was experiencing the frustration of learning on top of just being more braindead than usual after so much job stuff. i am sincerely hoping it will be easier tomorrow.

but also i need to get better at actually breaking the spell of hyperfocus good lord. i set a million alarms and try to make myself get up to walk across the room so i can shake off the trance but my ability to tunnel-vision into a task even if i’m not working efficiently and need to STOP is insane. the gravitational pull is so strong that i get up, do whatever distraction task i’ve set for myself, and then am immediately drawn back into the original task’s orbit for another six hours.

in writing today’s letter i found a way to weave in a nice thing my friend nicole once said to me about my teaching that i think about a lot. i am not sure the letter needed it (i am under NO illusions that i understand what cover letters need!!) it but it was nice to think about her saying it & then also nice to write a slightly more earnest paragraph about Values instead of all the Professional Woman Applying for a Job Stuff. also nice to think about teaching! the other day i made a joke about how i can’t write anything short about teaching without accidentally writing the entire book that lives inside of me and one of my beloved former students messaged me to be like ‘please please please write a teaching book i want to read it 🥺.’ VERY SWEET!!! TEACHING IS A GOOD THING IN A WORLD FULL OF BAD THINGS!!!!

michelle tested positive for covid this morning after i spent a big chunk of yesterday morning with her. this is my fourth ‘very close contact’ in the past month and i haven’t gotten it from any of the others which probably means my luck is about to run out. i hope i don’t get sick but also an enforced break from job stuff might not be the worst idea. i felt fine most of today, insofar as i was aware of my body at all in the strange trance state i entered, but i am feeling a little rundown now (though possibly that’s just the power of suggestion).

i have a student meeting tomorrow that i can’t forget about for a kid who is doing the coolest/most ambitious project and has just been steadily plugging away at it for a solid 10 months now. she’s getting REALLY close now and it’s very exciting to see!!

since i have to shower and make myself presentable tomorrow anyway i’m going to make myself do this annoying two-minute video for one of the job applications. if it weren’t a job i would be super psyched about getting i would skip it but alas.

i had such a lovely pre-4th of july cookout with my friends and we discussed plans for a big celebration of our ten years in texas at the end of the summer. it made me emotional!! my beloved humans!!! i don’t know if i’ll still be living here or not (my In a Perfect World plan is to move at the beginning of august) but i will obviously return for it if not. i feel lucky to have had this really solid group of friends here who i have known for so long and love so much. emotions!!!

i had a long phone call with one of my college bffs yesterday about some heavy stuff going on in her life. she has made A Big Traumatic Life Change recently which it is causing her a lot of grief, but also, even in the immediate wake of the Big Change she sounded more like herself than she has in a year. i have been pretty worried for her for a long time now, more acutely in the past six months or so, and i feel hopeful that this is going to be a good thing in the long run. also we discussed how clarifying the long beautiful wedding weekend last month was for both of us, in different but not dissimilar ways. and i think that’s interesting! like it was powerful enough as an emotional experience to prompt both of us to independently make huge changes that are going to change the trajectories of our lives. most weddings do not have that effect on me lol but it was just one of those experiences where the two people getting married are quite simply the best people you know, and they’ve woven around themselves this dense web of deeply meaningful relationships with so many different kinds of people, and we all just got to be immersed in all of that love and goodwill and positive feeling for like four full days, and it was just the kind of emotional experience that makes you say aloud to yourself afterwards: wow, i’m ready to change my life and i’m strong enough to do it.

[giorno-plays-piano]

Vicious

Part VII

Pairing: Steve x reader, Bucky x reader, Thor x reader, Loki x reader, Peter x reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, stalking, possessiveness, theft, mention of blackmail, all characters are adults.

Words: 1864.

Summary: Transferring to Stark Academy that has only allowed to take in female students last semester, you realize you are just one of three young women among hundreds of students. Your things are constantly being stolen, and soon you begin fearing for your safety.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

________

You wanted to slap yourself. What the hell was wrong with you today? Why did you tell Peter that?!

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean...” Completely baffled with you behavior, you were deeply ashamed, unable to look the guy in the eyes and wanting nothing but fall into the earth.

“Ah, I got it. It’s Steve, isn’t it?” All of a sudden, Peter let out an irritated sigh, rolling his eyes skywards and rubbing his neck. “Of course, who else would say such nonsense. Blackmail, really? Funny he didn’t call me a stalker or anything.”

“Listen, I didn’t mean it, I’m really-”

“It’s ok.” He closed the locker, slamming its door loudly and making you jump. “It’s not your fault. If I heard that from somebody, I’d be scared too.”

He spent a couple of seconds staring into the wall until he rubbed his neck again tiredly and huffed. It took him less than a minute to regain his composure, and you heard him murmuring, “What a freak.”

He didn't return to the corridor, heading to the sports hall for his PE class, instead moving to the bench in the locker room and motioning you to sit. Feeling terribly awkward, you hoped he wasn't going to do anything out of anger, even though he had every right to be upset at your stupid behavior.

"About what he said," Peter took a deep breath, "it's nothing like that. I don't dig up some nasty stuff in the web to blackmail people. I've never done it. The reason why Mr. I-am-better-than-you said that is because I've made him take me into his little bodyguard group when I heard him talking to Loki. You're nice, and I wanted to help. Of course, Steve started acting like I was some creep, so he refused, and I had to remind him that, technically, he had to report your issue to the administration, not play a hero. I said that if I go and tell the whole story to the dean, Steve's gonna be in trouble because he knew who thieves were and didn't report them."

It was a loud off your mind. Goodness. Rogers called this a blackmail? Really? Just because Peter pushed Steve into taking him into their group?

You were less and less sure Rogers was sane. You definitely had to be careful around him.

"I can't believe he called it a blackmail." You admitted quietly, and the guy sent you a tired smile. "Peter, I'm so, so sorry. It was so stupid of me."

"Nah, don't worry. I'd freak out too if I didn't know the whole story."

You knew your apologies weren't enough, but you hoped Peter didn't take it to heart - if you can take such an accusation easily, that is. Shit, shit, shit, why did you believe everything these guys were saying? You didn't even know them in the first place! Why on Earth did you go asking them their opinions on others if all of them were biased, and every guy could twist the truth the way he liked? You shouldn't have let their words affect you that much.

"Whatever. At least now you know what Rogers is like." Peter sent you a grim smile and got up, picking his bright yellow sackpack from the floor. "Shit, I gotta go if I don't wanna be late. Let's meet in a library later, alright?"

"O-of course." You hurriedly stood up and left the lockers room after him, turning to the library: your Lit class was cancelled, so you decided to go study right away. At this time, the library was usually full, and you felt safe there.

Your thoughts were all about the guys again even when you were staring at your laptop, trying to focus on Excel numbers. Why did you feel like the atmosphere between them was so dense? If they were at such terms with each other, why did they group together to help you? What, because all of them loved you so much? It was ridiculous. There was something else to it, and you didn't know. You had a feeling no one was going to tell you the truth until you figured it all out by yourself.

Weird. It was all so weird. Steve's plan, their behavior, the relationships between them, and your nagging feeling they all were hiding something. Was it them who were actually following you?

The thought scared you to the point you started shivering. Oh shit.

"Hi there," the guy appeared behind your back so suddenly you almost jumped, looking at him wide-eyed, "sorry, did I startle you?"

"H-hi Jake! No, it's ok, I was just... studying." Both of you were talking in hushed voices, knowing the librarian would kick you out immediately if she heard some noise. "How are you?"

"I'm great, how're you?" You could hear concern in his voice: he was one of Thor's friends you met yesterday, and although you spoke briefly, Thor definitely told him more about you. "You look a bit worried."

"Oh, it's Math, I didn't really understand the topic, and we're having an exam on Monday... guess I'll be studying the whole weekend." You gave him your best smile to reassure you were totally ok, and the guy relaxed a little, smiling at you, too.

"I'm sure you'll pass. Thor said you're very smart."

What, he said that to all of them? Was he simply boasting about his girlfriend to his friends or was there something more to it?

"You're too kind. Thank you."

His smile grew wider, and he landed on the next seat to yours, resting his hands on the table. Apparently, there was something he wanted to talk to you about, and you grew uneasy.

"Listen, about these incidents... Thor told us all about it, so if you see any freaks following you around, you can message any of us, and we'll come right away." Looking at his serious expression, his bushy brows furrowed, you hoped he eas being sincere with you: you had enough with people you could no longer trust. "And also... that kid, if he's giving you troubles or anything, just let me know, and I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself"

Oh, he was talking about Peter, wasn't he? He had probably seen that silly photo. Wow, you though, Peter was totally right about Instagram: it was the best news source in the academy.

Thanking him for his concern, you laughed a little, convincing him there was nothing serious except for the theft and promising to tell him if anything weird would be going on. While it should have made you feel safer, in fact, you only grew more frustrated with this situation. You wanted to forget about these freaks and just spend you day like any normal student would, but everywhere you went people were staring at you as if you had a horn; one boyfriend or the other was always close to protect you from some unknown danger, and although you believed they tried to help, you hated the feeling they were hiding something from you. Why did you have to be going through all this? Wasn't it really better to drop off school, spend a year working and then apply to a better place?

Thinking of the faces your parents would make once you returned home, you realized it wasn't. This school with all those creeps wasn't worse than home that never felt like a safe place you wanted to come back to. Besides, all money you saved up until now were only good for buying food and things like that: you'd never afford to rent a decent place unless you found a well-paid job. It meant staying with your parents, and it wouldn't be much better than here, just different. If you wanted to drop off, you had to find a good place to stay.

Well, you could at least try, right?

When Peter met you in the library, the two of you no longer talked about anything important, simply studying together to prepare for the exams next week. It didn't feel off: from time to time you met his gaze, and the both of you smiled. You were thankful he didn’t talk about Steve or other guys or that weirdo in the lockers room.

Once you returned home, you went straight to bed, completely exhausted. Luckily, you did much more than yesterday, so you could rest now, but then you thought of Thor kissing you and bit down the pillow, angry at yourself. Why did you keep thinking of him right now?

______________

When you woke up the next morning, you felt like something was off: your body ached, your throat hurt, and your headache was only making it worse. Dammit, you caught a cold, probably. And that’s when it was finally the day to meet Steve, the guy you thought was a mastermind behind all these manipulations that were making you sick to the core. 

Anyway, it’s not like a mere cold would prevent you from doing everything you had planned. You left your bed and went to the bathroom, moving the dresser before again. 

Honestly, it felt terrible. It was definitely because of that flimsy dress you wore to school yesterday when the weather was becoming chilly. Argh. Watching your puffy eyes and swollen nose, you sneezed. Today you had to apply way more makeup to look decently.

Steve showed up earlier than either Thor or Peter: you had to skip your breakfast, hoping to buy something cheap in the cafeteria.

“Good morning.” He said with his everyday polite expression that soon shifted into a concerned one. “Are you alright?”

What, was it that bad? You did your absolute best to apply enough makeup and do your hair. Did you still look so sick?

“Good morning. Yes, I’m ok, just feeling a little sleepy.” You yawned on purpose, covering your mouth with your hand, and Steve’s face softened.

“Did you study all night?”

“Yep, exams are driving me a little crazy.”

“I understand. I also stayed late last night.”

Of course, the student council president studying all days long to be number one student in the academy. If you didn’t know of his twisted nature, you’d think he was the most typical nerd.

You spent most of the time either in silence or talking about studies, the academy, and everything related to it. Steve acted like a gentleman and a scholar, albeit a little too demonstratively. Walking with you as if he were a king of the place, he constantly replied to greetings of others, waved to his acquaintances and smiled. You felt so off you wanted to find Loki and walk with him: unlike Steve, he was considered unpleasant by the prevailing majority of students.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” America golden boy asked you for the last time, and you forced yourself to smile.

“Of course. Thanks for coming, see you later, Steve.”

As he finally left you in peace, you almost fell down into your chair, your fever only getting worse despite the fact you took some painkillers. It was going to be a long day.

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @iheartsebandchris @lovelydarkdaydream @soleil-dor @illyrianprincess @vampirestrawberries @goodgodimaweirdperson @frontmanash @freya-heya @yandematic @mariatietacapitu @d3monslust @maybesandohnos @ibeatuptwinks @mangobangi @nectav @whatever-happened-to-the-ducks

[weelittleweasley]

bar maid (b.w.)

prompt: a long night at the leaky cauldron and the late shift can only mean one thing: a boring night. but when a new face pops into the bar, the mood shifts drastically.

pairing: bill weasley x fem! reader

warnings: drinking, mentions of the war, language (literally once), sexual references

word count: 4.5k

taglist: @harrysweasleys​ @gcdric​ @lumos-barnes​ @whizboingies​ @lumosandnoxwriting​ @pxroxide-prinxcesss​ @c-t-h​ @another-lonely-heart-blog​ @starlightweasley​ @parseltongueswriting​ @shilohpug​ @peachypotter​ @vogueweasley​

“Another round of ale, Albert?” you ask with a smile as you wipe down a section of the bar from its previous attendants. The damp dish towel wipes across the mahogany bar, leaving streaks that shine underneath the bar lighting, the faint smell of chemical lemon lingering in the air mixes with the overwhelming scent of lager and spirits. 

Albert flashes you a toothy grin and gives you a shrug. “Eh, why not. It’s a Friday, isn’t it?” Albert laughs before sliding you his brass mug down the length of the bar as you stealthily catch it in your hand. You fill the mug with amber ale, teeming with white foam, smelling of wheat. “You’re too good to me, (Y/N),” Albert tells you with a grin before taking a sip of his usual drink of choice. 

You were a bar maid at the Leaky Cauldron and Albert was one of your regulars. Now, you didn’t think that you would be a bar maid after graduating from Hogwarts and trying to become a professor, but the world had a funny way about it, didn’t it? Being a bar maid meant you got good tips and had the luxury of creating your own schedule, but it also meant when you worked, it was long hours of standing on your feet and serving cheap ale and lager to annoyed businessmen and exhausted workers from the hours of five o’clock to two o’clock in the morning. Work was grueling, but you tried to make as much fun of it as you could.

“It’s the least I can do, Al,” you sigh, flopping the dish towel over your shoulder as you lean over the bar. “Any juicy gossip for me today? I’ve been bored out of my skull since I clocked in and I still got another five hours ahead of me. I need some entertainment,” you groan, cracking your knuckles against the wood of the bar. The thought of another five hours dealing with more alcohol, more grumpy patrons, and another tired night made your head ache. 

Al takes a long sip from his mug, wiping the foam from his upper lip before speaking, “Not much gossip, I’m afraid.” You throw your head back and groan, taking an annoyed sip from your water. “Nothing interesting has happened, my dear,” he huffs in just as much annoyance as you. “We’re living in dark times, all news is usually disappointing, scary, or both. I’m looking for something hopeful just as much as you are,” Al confesses.

You tighten your ponytail and push your baby hairs away from your face, hands flopping on your shoulders as you slump over. Albert was right. The thought of a looming wizarding war over everyone’s heads was enough to keep everyone living in fear of when it would all come to a head and pop. At least working at the pub took your mind off of things, even if it was just for a few hours of the day.

“However,” Albert’s tone changes as you dart your eyes to him, curious. “I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the name Fleur Delacour? I heard through the grapevine that she has recently started working at Gringott’s. Desk job, but people were confused as to why should would come all the way to London for a silly desk job,” Albert explains before sipping from his ale again.

Your eyebrows furrow as the name does ring a bell. “The name sounds familiar. I certainly didn’t go to school with her or else I would know who she was. But the name is oddly recognizable...I’ll ask my younger sister when I speak to her next. She’s at Hogwarts now. I’m sure she’d know,” you tell Albert. “Anyone else take up a job? Familiar names or faces?” 

Al searches his memory for anything else. He presses his tongue to his cheek. “Yeah, there was someone else. William...I don’t remember the surname for life of me, but it was William something...” he trails off.

You think for a moment, trying to scan your brain for a William that you might know. But you drew blank. It had been so long since you saw anyone from your graduating class. You had spent most of your time in the pub or studying or applying for new professor jobs. But no one was looking to hire an under-experienced professor in these times, no matter how good your marks were at Hogwarts, regardless that you were top of your class in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions. The thought makes you infuriated because you knew you could teach this new generation of wizards better than anyone else.  

Shaking your head, “Well, whatever, if he was important, you would know his name.” Albert shrugs. “I need to go bring in some kegs from the back, I’ll be back in a second,” you tell him before go around the bar, walking to the back of the Leaky Cauldron, hearing snippets of conversations here and there, most people talking about the news or their families. It was sad; just two years ago people would be roaring with laughter, telling stories and jokes, recounting happy times. Now, everyone was so focused on how the world as you knew it may be crumbling around you. 

The cool fall air wraps around you as you push the door to bring the kegs from outside in as you pull your jumper over your hands to make some make-shift mittens. “Bloody hell,” you whisper to yourself as you see three kegs lined up outside for you to bring in. “Seriously, Tom?” you groan as you grab one keg and start dragging it. “I don’t get paid enough for this, I swear,” you grumble. 

“Need a hand?” a voice interrupts you as you drag the steel keg across the cobblestone. 

You look up and your eyes meet a pair that you haven’t seen in years. An instant smile rises on your lips as the all too familiar red hair is swept in the wind. “You’re kidding,” you laugh as you stand up straight, brushing off your jumper as he smiles widely at you with a chuckle. “Bill Weasley as I live and breathe?” you laugh as you run towards him, Bill engulfing you in a large hug. Your arms wrap around him tightly as he picks you up, your feet leaving the ground as you giggly madly as Bill sways you back and forth. 

It had been years since you had seen Bill Weasley. The two of you had attended Hogwarts together in the same year and became fast friends. You had always admired how Bill was so smart and confident in himself (borderline arrogant, but in the sexiest best way). Bill was a popular one at Hogwarts, but through it all, he always managed to make time for you since you liked staying out of the lime light. Bill was well-loved and revered at Hogwarts, so it was obvious that he became a prefect during your time. And that’s when you two started to drift apart. He became busy doing his things and you became busy with your own studies. After graduation, the two of you went your separate ways, but you always wondered where he had gone. 

Bill sets you down on your feet, his hands still on your hips as he smiled brightly down at you. He looked so mature now, longer red hair tied back in a ponytail, but he was still tall, thin, and undeniably handsome. The hunter green jacket he sported clung onto his tall figure, underneath a button down that was unbuttoned just enough so you could see the chest hairs that poked out from the loose material. Hanging from his ear lobe was a fang earring that wasn’t there before. Bill had changed, but in a way that caught your eye in a way that has never happened before. You gulped. 

“Godric, (Y/N), you haven’t changed one bit,” Bill laughs as he takes a good look at you as you mentally curse that you had been wearing something different than your old blue jumper and leggings with stained boots from the bar. “How long has it been? Seven years?” he speaks as you nod. “Bloody hell, it feels like yesterday we were at Hogwarts,” he recounts the memories fondly as your heart warms to the same memories.

You smile brightly, “Time flies, Weasley.” He chuckles. “We can talk more about it if you help me bring in these kegs and I’ll treat you to an ale on the house. Or are you more of a lager man?” you ask as you walk back over to the steel kegs that wait to be dragged into the pub. 

Bill chuckles as you grab one keg, starting to drag it into the pub. Without any hesitation or effort, Bill picks up the remaining two kegs in each of his hands, muscles flexing underneath his jacket as he shakes his head. You gulp and avert your eyes, trying not to focus on the way he so effortlessly carried the heavy steel kegs as you pushed yours in. “More of a whiskey kind of guy if you got any of that,” Bill tells you as you push the kegs towards the back of the bar, Bill places his two next to yours. “I didn’t know you were working at the Leaky Cauldron.”

Walking back to the bar with Bill by your side you speak, “Yeah. Been working here for a while now since there seems to be a hold on hiring newer, younger professors,” you roll your eyes as Bill laughs. Bill remembered how badly you wanted to be a professor and teach the younger generations of wizards and witches magic. It was your dream, but now it was on pause. “What about you? Why are you back in London? Last I heard of you, you were in Egypt!” you nudge his arm with your elbow.

He gives you a smile, happy that you had been keeping your tabs on him. “I was in Egypt for a long while. Loved it, really. But I came home to help my family out with the Order and such. I’m working at Gringott’s now at a desk job. Very exciting, I know,” he rolls his eyes as you giggle, making your way behind the bar.

A William working at Gringott’s. I should have known, you think to yourself. “Hey Albert,” you call over the man who sits just a mere stool away from Bill. “That new William who's working at Gringott’s now? It’s not just any bloke, he’s a Weasley,” you smile at Albert who looks over to Bill with a look of realization. “Bill, this is Albert, one of my regulars. Al, this is Bill Weasley, we went to Hogwarts together.”

Bill gives Albert a firm shake shake and warm smile. “Nice to meet you, sir,” Bill beams. “You’ve been in good company with this one, I’m sure,” Bill winks as Albert chuckles lowly.

“That I have been. She’s great company and serves an even better mug of ale,” Albert speaks as you smile sweetly at him, Bill laughing. “I would love to stay and chat longer, but I gotta get home to the family,” Albert tells you and Bill, putting on his coat before digging into his pockets and places and handful of coins on the table to pay for his drinks and tip you generously as he usually did. “I’ll see you on Monday, my dear,” Albert calls as he walks towards the door, you giving him a salute goodbye.

Bill speaks, “He seems like a good guy.” You nod as you take out a glass and start to pour him a generous glass of Fire Whiskey before placing it front of him. “How did you know I take it neat? What if I wanted it on the rocks?”

You give him a knowing look. “I know you, Bill. Last time I checked, you were drinking Fire Whiskey straight from the bottle at your graduation party,” you recall with a light chuckle as Bill groans at the memory. “You were off your rocker that night, I’m tellin’ you,” you start to laugh harder, remembering how Bill stood up on the dining room table of the Burrow, singing along to music that he blasted as everyone laughed and sang along with him. Graduation was such a happy time in your young adult life, you wished you could go back and relive it.

He rubs his face with one hand and speaks, “We were a mess that night, weren’t we?” 

“We? Don’t drag me into this, Weasley! I was perfectly happy having one drink, but it was you who made me drink bloody Daisyroot Draught! The smell now makes me sick,” you contort your face with disgust as Bill laughs. “I will admit though, I’ve missed you quite a bit,” you confess, playing with the edges of the dish rag in your hands as you look up at Bill.

Slowly, a smile finds its way onto Bill’s lips as your heart flutters gently as his eyes look into yours. He still had the same eyes that you adored so fondly as a child and teen. In his eyes contained all the memories of Hogwarts and late nights and sleepover at the Burrow. His eyes had laughter and joy in them that you so missed during times like this. You missed Bill Weasley. For more than one reason.

“I’ve missed you more than quite a bit,” Bill reveals as you allow heat to rise to your cheeks. “I missed having my partner in crime around. Sneaking into the kitchens and then getting caught by McGonagall,” he recalls.

You laugh, “Stop, and then she asked if she could join us!” The two of you are in hysterics at the memory of eating leftovers and sweets in the kitchens with Minerva McGonagall as third year students, chatting about school and life after Hogwarts. McGonagall had always taken a liking to the two of you. She always said that you two were peas in a pod.

Bill smiles and takes a sip from his whiskey before speaking, “How long are you working tonight? I’d be happy to stay with you until you clock out.”

Your eyes widen and you shake your head, “Oh no, I couldn’t ask you to do that. I’m the closer and we don’t close the bar down until two in the morning.”

With a cheeky smirk, Bill huffs, “Well, we’ve got a lot to catch up on and we got...” he looks at the clock on the wall, “four and a half hours to kill. So, start talking, (Y/N). We’ve got all night,” he speaks, dropping his left eye in a wink as you smile with a blush. 

-----------

For the next four hours, you and Bill caught up on everything. And by everything, you mean everything. His life after Hogwarts sounded much more interesting than what you had been doing to keep busy. Bill had been spending his time as a Curse-Breaker for Gringott’s, going on missions throughout Egypt, coming home to London here and there. You smiled as he recounted his stories with such passion and love in his eyes. It was evident that Bill loved what he was doing and he was sad that he couldn’t continue doing his job, now being stationed back in London at a boring desk job. Quite the downgrade from fighting and defeating mummies to working an office job.

Soon, people were filing out of the bar as closing time approached until it was just you and Bill in the pub. You had moved from standing behind the bar to sitting on a stool next to Bill, leaning on the bar as you listened to his deep baritone voice speak to you. 

Bill placed a hand on your knee, giving it a squeeze. “(Y/N)? Tell me something,” he speaks.

“Anything, Weasley,” you smile at him, sleepily.

Bill chuckles, “Why are you working as a bar maid when you could be going out and doing what you love? Teaching. You’ve always wanted to teach students magic and it doesn’t seem fair that you are parked behind a bar pouring ale and lager to lazy blokes.” You roll your eyes and shake your head. “I’m serious. What’s stopping you?”

You sigh and recount everything that has held you back from doing what you want. First off, no wizarding school in the United Kingdom was hiring any professor right now due to the climate of the wizarding world. The only other option was moving to America and maybe teaching there at Ilvermorny? Maybe Beauxbatons in France? But it wasn’t a guarantee that you could find a job with such little teaching experience under your belt. “Besides the hiring freeze? I have no experience teaching, Bill. Plus, I want to make money for myself right now so I can save it up and move into my own place rather than living in my small flat with a bunch of my mates. The only other jobs are abroad and I do not have that much money to make a move like that. Besides, my whole family is here. My friends. And you’ve just come back now and leaving just seems illogical,” you sigh, knowing that your dream would have to wait.

He shakes his head, “Excuses, excuses.” You shake your head and take a sip from the whiskey that you had poured yourself, the amber liquid warming up your chest and stomach. It tasted like graduation. “If I can teach a year at Hogwarts, then you certainly can. Besides, you were just as good, if not better, than me in Defense Against the Dark Arts. I’m sure they could use your help more than ever right now.”

Looking up at Bill, you see how tender and soft his gaze is on you. He really meant every word he spoke to you with genuine honesty. Looking at Bill now was like looking at someone who you had known forever. He really hadn’t changed one bit. He was witty and kind and smart and sweet. Your Bill. But at the same time, he was different. He had become so mature and ruthless and brave. It was a new Bill, a Bill you could get used to. 

You look down and see that his hand was still placed on your knee. Clearing your throat, you shift in your seat and Bill retracts his hand, digging it into the pocket of his jacket again as you take a sip of your whiskey. “Well,” you start, “I know I would be a better professor than you...I’m better at a lot of things than you,” you tease him as he rolls his eyes. 

“Oh yeah? Do I smell a challenge?” Bill laughs as you shrug. “Ah, ah, don’t start something you can’t finish, sweetheart,” he leans back in his chair, tongue pressed to his cheek as you gulp, the nickname making your palms sweat. “Go on,” he speaks, daring you to challenge him. “You chose.”

Trying to ignore the rapid increase in your heart rate, you swallow hard. “Fine,” you smile before reaching over to the other side of a bar, grabbing a jar filled with a red liquid and multiple bright red cherries. Twisting the cap open, you pluck out two maraschino cherries, one for you and one for Bill. “I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue faster than you can,” you smirk, flirtatiously biting the cherry of its stem as Bill’s eyes widen and he gulps, shifting in his seat.

He clears his throat, “Yeah? How much you wanna bet?” 

You think for a moment, trying to find a wager that would make this worth your while. “If I win, you pick up the tab from tonight,” you smile.

“I thought this was all on the house?” he scoffs with a smirk.

“Not if you lose,” you sing song, making him roll his eyes. “And Albert told me about a new worker at Gringott’s. Fleur Delacour? Yeah, you’ve gotta ask her out on a date,” you smirk. 

Bill’s eyes widen. “Fleur?!” he exclaims with a laugh. “She’s my co-worker! Plus, we’re just friends. Nothing’s there,” he reasons as you shake your head.

You laugh, “Well those are my terms if I win. Gotta get you out on the dating field, Weasley.” You tease him as he smirks, looking down at the whiskey glass in his hands. “And if you win?”

He thinks for a moment, swirling the whiskey around and around in his glass, pondering what his terms would be. Bill bites the cherry off the stem as you watch his lips move carefully, like you were in a trance of some kind. You quickly shake it off, trying to keep yourself from getting distracted by him. “If I win,” Bill huffs, “then first of all, the drinks are on the house. Second, you’ll have to stop by the Burrow because once Mum hears that you’re in London, she’ll have a cow,” he laughs as you giggle. Molly Weasley, what an angel. “And third of all,” he speaks, leaning forward on his elbows so he’s closer to your face as you inhale sharply, “I’ll ask whoever the fuck I want on a date.”

Your heart stops for a moment as your whole body tingles as the words all from his lips. You can’t take your eyes off of his you are frozen. Bill smirks at your reaction before slowly leaning back in his chair, biting down softly on his lower lip as you gulp. “O-Okay then,” you manage to make out, trying to reorient yourself as Bill chuckles. “Count of three?” you speak before placing the cherry stem in your mouth as Bill does his. “One...two...three.”

With that, the two of you start twisting your tongue around the cherry stem, trying to tie it before the other could. Your heart is racing a mile a minute and your stomach is doing flips as your mind is screaming what the hell is going on. The entire time Bill doesn’t take his eyes off of you, staring into yours. The act felt so inherently sexual that you could feel your palms sweat and a second heartbeat between your thighs grow. This was a terribly good idea. 

You can feel the cherry stem in your mouth finally slip into a knot as your eyes widen in victory, hand flying up to your mouth so you can show Bill the work you have done. As you hand reaches your lips, Bill’s fingers slyly pull his cherry stem out of his mouth just mere milliseconds before you. “I win,” he speaks.

“You cheated!” you instantly accuse him, pointing your finger at him.

Bill chuckles, “How did I cheat? I won fair and square and you know it, you sore loser.”

You shake your head, “I clearly won, you saw me! You had to have cheated, just so you could get free whiskey out of it!” Bill just shakes his head and grabs your chair, pulling you closer to him as you fail to notice as you keep rambling nervously. “Admit it, Bill, you just don’t like to admit that you’re not Hogwarts’ golden child anymore. You’ve out grown that title. Step aside for the new winner which is me, of course. You know I won, come on, Bill. I def-”

“(Y/N)?” he asks softly.

You realize that you are mere inches away from Bill now, his hands resting on either side of your stool. You inhale slowly and gulp, trying to calm yourself down to prepare for the inevitable. “Yes, Bill?” you respond just as softly.

“Shut up,” he whispers with a smile.

“Okay.”

Without further hesitation, Bill leans forward and connects your lips together as you inhale deeply, kissing him back and wrapping your arms around his neck instantly. Bill’s hands slide around your sides before hoisting you onto the bar, him standing between your legs as he kisses you deeper. You wrap your legs around his torso, drawing him closer to you, needing to feel his body pressed against yours. His lips move against yours with deep desire that he had been saving for so long and finally, you both were getting what you wanted for so long. His mouth tasted of the whiskey as you took more and more of it, drunk off of his kiss. 

His hands held onto you tightly, not daring to let you go as you lightly moaned into his lips, making him smirk. Bill’s tongue was cool against yours as he massaged yours with his, snogging you right in the middle of the bar. Your mouths moved together, lusting after the other’s touch. You hands ran down his chest and his abs as he groaned gently into your mouth, making your stomach flutter as you smirked softly. Bill’s hand cupped your cheek before making its way to the back of your neck, pressing your lips harder against his. 

You wanted to take him in this pub just like this, but Bill pulls away before you can push off his jacket. The two of you are breathless from kissing, chest heaving up and down, a smile on both of your faces as you blush a wild crimson. “You win,” you surrender to Bill who chuckles.

“I always win, sweetheart,” he winks before kissing you again, this time short as you whine when he pulls away. “And since I won, that means that this whiskey,” he points to his glass, “is on the house, you’ll be joining the Weasley’s for Sunday dinner, and on Monday night, you’ll be taking the night off so I can take you out on a proper date rather than just snogging on the bar of the pub,” he speaks as you laugh.

You run your fingers through his hair, “You mean you do like snogging me on the bar?” you tease him.

Bill furrows his brows, “Hey, hey, slow your roll. Don’t put words in my mouth now.” You laugh, placing your hands on his shoulders. “There’s nothing I’d rather do than snog you in every location of his pub,” he winks as you roll your eyes. “But I reckon a girl like you should be taken out on a proper date by a bloke like me, eh?” 

Pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, you speak against them, “It’d be my honor.”

“Wicked,” he smirked, giving your sides a squeeze before hoisting you down from the bar. “How about you lock this place up and I’ll walk you back to your flat. Can’t have precious cargo like you roaming the streets alone,” he speaks with a gentle tap on your bum as you roll your eyes.

You shove his shoulder teasingly, “Hey, just because you came back from Egypt, Mr. Big Shot, doesn’t mean you make my decisions for me.” Bill chuckles as you smile, “But yeah, I’ll let you walk me home, Weasley.”

[tomtenadia]

My Thursday crush

Rowaelin month - Day 4 - Library or librarians

It was a nice spring day in Orynth and Rowan was slowly walking to work. Headphones on and a book in his hands. He had developed the skill of reading and walking to the point of perfection.

His friends made fun of him but he always replied that if it was socially acceptable for people to walk with their faces in their phones and not paying attention, then a book was surely better. And he never bumped into anyone.

He stopped at the coffee shop around the corner from his job and got his usual order, placed the thermos in the backpack and walked the last stretch.

The library was still closed and it was his job to open it. He had volunteered for the morning shifts since he was a morning person and was happy to open up.

Once he was inside he went through the motions of opening up for day and getting the library ready. Rowan switched on the public computers and then did a walkthrough to make sure everything was looking good. He found a few books abandoned in places where they did not belong and groaned. He loved his job, he loved books. 

He had a degree in library studies and once graduated he applied and got a job at Orynth main public library. The place was huge and he had grown up visit the building a lot. He had started using it thanks to his mum who had passed her love for books to him. That love never left him and growing up he realised he wanted a job where he could spend his day with books. But people? People annoyed him. The way they would just abandon books after using them, or the way they sometimes they would not respect the peace of a library. He was not a people person. 

He grunted again and placed the books back where they belonged. Then he growled savagely when he noticed one abandoned on a chair, upside down, spine broken and a dog ear on one page as bookmark. Some people deserved to have their library card cut to pieces.

At 9am on the dot he opened up and welcomed his morning regulars “Good morning mrs MacLeod.”

“Oh, good morning, Rowan darling. Is my book here?”

He smiled at the woman and went to the shelf where they kept the returns that had been booked by someone else and grabbed her book.

“Yes,” he passed it to her “it was returned yesterday and we set it aside for you.”

The woman gave him a huge smile and he finished the loan procedure “I hope you will like it. It’s a nice story.”

“I am sure I will, darling. You always recommend me good books.”

He helped her to the door and went back to work, preparing the loan requests they had got online. A wide smile spread on his face at the name he saw on the list. He was not a fan of people but there was one person whose presence he had started to enjoy deeply. She was another regular and a bookworm like him. She had told him that she had to get some of her books from the library to avoid going broke on payday. He had laughed at the joke because it was the same for him.

She was a teacher and on Thursdays she was off and would always visit the library to return a book and get a new one. They would talk about what they were reading and he discovered they had the same tastes and he had been reading a lot of her recommendations. She was just obsessed with books as he was. Rowan had started to admit to himself that he was crushing on her. She had stolen his heart when one day she came to the desk and complained, outraged, that the book she wanted to borrow had a coffee stain on a page. They had raged for ten minutes together at the animals and his heart skipped a beat. It did help as well that the woman was stunning. Her hair was a deep gorgeous blonde and she had the most incredible blue eyes with an unusual ring of gold. Yes, he was definitely a fool in love and Thursdays were his favourite day of the week. Since she started visiting he had never had another Thursday off.

***

Aelin had a bad morning already. She had gone to the gym and found it closed for some obscure reason. Then an idiot on his phone bumped into her and made her spill her coffee. She had shouted a large list of expletives at the savage and left. It was Thursday and she could not let anything ruin her favourite day of the week. She was on her way to the library to collect the book she had reserved. But if she was to be honest to herself, she was looking forward to see Rowan. The librarian had become one of his favourite people, although they only meet once a week, her time spent with him talking about books was always precious. 

It did help that the man was hot. As in so unbelievably handsome that he was so out of her league. In the months they had interacted she had developed a crush on him and not just for his unique features. He had short silver hair and the deepest pine green eyes and the days he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows she had spotted a wonderful tattoo in the old language. He had an incredible nice build and tanned skin. He was hotness incarnated. A heart attack on two legs.

Knowing her luck with men, he was happily married, although on a closer inspection she had not spotted a wedding ring. Well, probably a super hot fiancee. She definitely stood no chance with him.

But she had liked him as well because he was smart and loved books just as fiercely she did. He was always ready to suggest some new titles and all his recommendations had been spot on. She had enjoyed every single book. A part of her wished she’d have the courage to ask him out and talk about books perhaps in front of a coffee. Aelin was actually curious to discover what else he liked.

Twenty minutes later she finally reached the public library. She loved that building and her parents had nudged her towards becoming a bookworm. They would read to her and once she was able to read alone, they would gladly buy all the books she wanted. Her childhood home also had a proper library and she would spend hours in there travelling with her imagination. 

She stared at the building and finally walked in. She climbed the marble stairs and reached the adult lending library section. On the lower floor they had an area all dedicated to kids.

She opened the glass doors and her eyes went straight to the desk scanning the area for a head of silver hair. Sadness hit her when she did not see him around. It really was going to be the day from hell. She walked to the fiction section and as she turned the corner around a stack of shelves she crashed into someone. What was with her and crashing into people today?

She was about to apologise when she looked up and noticed who she had bumped into. It was Rowan. Gods, even his name was perfect. That day he was wearing a blue shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, jeans and a pair of rimless glasses. She had so many improper thoughts.

“Aelin, sorry I didn’t see you…” his voice thick with his accent from Wendlyn. 

“Hi,” she managed, trying to bring her feelings under control “I thought you were off. I came in and you were not around.” Oh she sounded like a lovestruck teenager.

“I was placing some books back on the shelves.” He indicated the pile in his arms.

Aelin spotted one of the titles “that is a great story. I read it about five times already.” Pointing to a specific title.

Rowan had a look at the book and read the blurb “I’ll set it aside.”

“You look good with glasses.” She blurted out and then blushed. She was flirting like a moron.

He gave her a smile that reached his eyes and her heart skipped a beat. Gods, the things she’d do to him…

“I have the book you reserved, by the way,” and he started walking back to the counter and she followed. 

Aelin gave him her card and he processed the loan for her “you know the drill, right?”

“I am going home and spill coffee all over it.” Had it been someone else she knew he would have been horrified but that had become their inside joke. He knew she would never do anything of the sort.

***

Rowan processed her loan and took that moment to think about a good way to ask her out for coffee although he was afraid he was going to get a crushing rejection. She was probably taken already. A woman like her was definitely not single. Plus, she was definitely out of his league. He was about to ask her but froze and decided to leave it.

“I’ll just go and have a look around.” She told him, and he knew she was trying to put some distance between them. How could he even hope she would fall for him? He was the most boring man on earth. That was what Lyria had said when she dumped him. He sighed heavily and went back to his job but his gaze followed Aelin through the bookshelves. In his head he had different conversations he wanted to try. He usually was quite good and in the past he had picked up his share of women in pubs. But with Aelin it was different. He did not want to pass as a pig. All he wanted to tell her was that he found her attractive and fascinating and take her out for a coffee. Then he had an idea.

He walked to a shelf and picked a book that he knew she’d love. He was planning on recommending it to her another time but that was now his tool for his plan.

He scribbled down a note on a post it and placed it in the book, then walked to her “I was meaning to recommend you this one. Loads of angst but it’s a great story, and the female main character is just as badass as you like it. I already checked it out for you.”

The smile she gave him left him breathless “Thank you, Rowan. That’s why you are my favourite librarian.”

Eventually she had to leave and he wished it was Thursday already.

***

It was later in the afternoon when she got home after all her errands. She took her two books from her messenger bag and flipped through the one Rowan had given her until she spotted something bright green through the pages. She reached the post it note and read it.

I think you are perfect and a very fascinating woman. I will eagerly wait for next Thursday. Hopefully you will let me take you out for a coffee. Rowan.

She squealed in delight and texted Lysandra straight away to tell her about the message Rowan had left her. Rowan, the hottest librarian in the whole of Orynth wanted to go out for coffee with her. She could not believe it was happening, and she had to wait until next Thursday. She was off on Saturday but she had no idea if Rowan worked. She could try, she was so impatient to see him again that waiting was not an option.

***

Rowan got home later that night, got changed and crashed on the sofa and noticed the book abandoned there. It was one of the many Aelin had recommended to him. It was a great story, she definitely had great taste. He grabbed the book and thought about Aelin and the message he had left her. He had been so stupid. It was not high school, they were both adults and leaving messages like a lovestruck teenager was beyond pathetic. He should have talked to her like human beings did. He ran a hand through his hair and leaned back against the sofa. He had probably blown every chance with her. Who would ever go out with a guy who couldn’t even ask a girl out?

The following Thursday

Rowan had opened the library as usual but on that day a sense of unease was making him nervous. He still could not think about the stupid move about putting a message in a book for Aelin. He was positive she was going to ignore him the next time, or stop visiting altogether.

The morning had been busy with new applicants, his usual customers and an avalanche of requests to set books aside. Panic caught him when he saw one from Aelin. Which meant she was coming in and he was not ready. What could he say to her? Sorry I am bad at talking to people so I write secret messages like a teenager? He was embarrassed and he was not ready when he spotted her golden mane of hair appear at the main entrance. He tried to hide but she had spotted him and was now walking towards him with a huge grin. His heart started racing. Was just an impression or she was more gorgeous than usual?

Rowan saw her come to the desk and diligently wait for her turn while he finished serving the three people in front of her.

“Hi stranger,” she said to him once it was her turn.

Rowan felt a savage blush rise on his face “Hi you. I assume you are here for your book.”

Aelin nodded and passed him her library card “and for a coffee date.”

Rowan froze halfway to the computer. He cleared his voice “so you saw my message.”

“And I loved the idea. It reminded me of one of the books I read recently where one of the guard is in love with the princess, they are both bookworms and leave each other messages in books because they need to keep their relationship a secret.”

Rowan smiled “You got me. I took the idea from that book.”

The smile she gave him had the power to almost knock the breath out of his lungs.

“I don’t have school on Saturday. Fancy going out for a coffee?”

Rowan nodded “do you know the coffee shop around the corner from here?”

Aelin nodded in assent “I love that place.”

“I am off this Saturday, so if you want we can go then. It would be lovely to know more about my favourite customer.”

She took a step closer to him, only the counter separating them “favourite customer, eh?”

“Well, the one who gets outraged at people mistreating books. The one who understands my pain.”

Aelin cackled and her hand brushed his when she grabbed the card he was returning to her. 

“I have only one condition.” He added softly.

“Hm?”

“You let me pay. You can scoff as many pastries as you want. It’s my treat.”

She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek “it’s a date.”

When she pulled back she noticed his beautiful green eyes set on her. Maybe she had been too forward?

He grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled something down “my number.”

Aelin grabbed the piece of paper happily and winked at him “Now I have to go. I have loads to do.”

Rowan was sad at the idea “Of course. I will see you Saturday, then?”

“Saturday.” Her heart raced and then walked out of the library thinking that she could not wait two more days before seeing him again.

Rowan followed her with his gaze, happy that she had appreciated and understood the message idea. His hand touched the spot on the cheek that she had kissed and he was positive he was grinning like a lunatic.

They had a coffee date. He could not believe his luck.

But most of all he could not wait for Saturday.

He went to the stacks, looked for a specific book and checked it out under his name, then scribbled a message on a post it and placed it in the book and set it aside.

Ready for Aelin.

She was his Thursday crush.

[theos-epitelesei]

One of these days I will change jobs and not panic/stress/worry about it the entire time I’m in the transition stages, when I’m just applying and not hearing back and waiting on other people to get their stuff together. 

Because I’ve changed jobs enough times now that I know that God has a plan, and I know He’ll be faithful to provide the right job at the right time, and that He’s not withholding good from me, but waiting to provide the best good for me.

I know all that. And I’ve seen it over, and over, and over again. Every job I’ve had has been the right job for that season of life. Even the ones that I kind of hated, or that sucked in the moment, or that didn’t pay as well as I would have liked.

And yet I’ve spent the last month desperately trying (and failing) to not panic, to not worry, to not stress about the lack of response to my applications. I’ve applied for every opening in my current district, applied and interviewed and withdrawn applications in my old district (even declined an interview; that was a new experience). It all got to be so overwhelming and discouraging this past week, and I was just pushing it all down trying to not worry, to not feel the stress. Thankfully God loves me, and the Holy Spirit pulled that all up on Sunday (which was rough but I needed to feel the Feels so I could move on), and my friends prayed for me.

Yesterday I broke down on the phone with my mom. Then I went to the library to get books for summer school, which I still need to plan because it starts next week. On the way to the library, I got an email from a principal about a job I applied for on Friday, asking to interview the same day.

Before I could reply to that email, another principal called to schedule an interview today. So in the span of an hour, I had two interviews set for two days in a row.

I had the first interview yesterday at 1:00, and after a 20 minute Zoom interview, they offered me the job. Conditional/unofficial offer since they need to check references and whatnot, but I accepted. Partly because I was caught off guard, but I also felt pretty peaceful about it. I mentioned that I had another interview today but was ok with them getting the ball rolling with HR. Since I didn’t hear from HR last night I’m still going to the second interview today. It’ll at least be good practice and maybe I’ll have some options to consider.

Anyway. God is faithful and good, and I know that and have experienced it over and over, but it would be great if my feelings would get on board with that knowledge at some point because holy crap this summer has been exhausting and stressful. (Also relaxing, because I was able to actually relax and just enjoy the first half of my summer break, so that was good.)

[dazenightmare]

Hello Z rambles this is me you're local supermarket news reporter making a lived report on the ongoing events within the Dream SMP Supermarket AU alright let's go

*Cues L'manberg news anthem theme*

"Good morning everyone it is another beautiful on our beloved small city of L'manberg it's 5 :26 A.M. now we have a several news report to make, Last night there being a major wild party that roars within the City's private club where a incident have occur that resulted in a few poison alcohol and several badly injuried many of the locals we interview last night that the cuz of the havoc that plunged the club is this about a Mexican Dream this anonymously person called about along with a Girl named Girl Dream the locals dubbed them with this happening the Police Chief have refused to confirmed nor denied the speculating rumours until they finished the investigation."

Cue another news report.

"Moving on now we also have a team of correspondent who have spotted the Mayor's wife Helga along with. Shimpry last night on the local motel of our city and the Mayor denied it was her wife being spotted last night."

*Cue another news report

"And now after a several weeks after the helper war a new event that occur within the supermarket which shocked the city. Where an Drunk Adult man named "Alex Jones" which being identified the leading podcaster and Conspiracy theorist have deliberately attacked and assaulted the store famous roller skater Tubbo with this incident a major blackslash and peer pressured have being made local residents which resulted on Police arresting the podcaster and now we just received information that this morning 4 : 32 A.M. Alex Jones is being released out of the jail with a bail of $900,000 on battery and assault with additional fines of $70,000 for damage to local property and $1 Million dollars yes you heard it right citizens of L'manberg $1 Million dollars for Tubbo and the other local residents that being a victim of the podcaster drunk violence with a letter from the Mayor's office issuing that the podcaster is clearly banned from entering, making business agreement and freezing his assets here within the City of L'manberg without further notice which the locals praised the mayor's reputation and swift action on the incident.

*Cue another news report

Local star celebrity Pokimane have being spotted on the Supermarket yesterday along with Corpse Husband the Supermarket Pharmacist buying essential needs which resulted one of the employee being fainted to due starstrucked that later identify Karl Jacobs.

*Cue an Commercial for Meat Helper*

"Are you an Orphan?" "Are you a tired of being a child playing all day and wanted to help your friends?" *cue children yes*

"Then come to Technoblade's Meat section on Dream Supermarket Today to applied on the job, there you gonna learn fun and exciting techniques to cutting the meat while Techno the Meat cutter silently and coldly stares at you until you cries" *Cue child crying* Come to Technoblade Meat session now

"The Second worse thing than happened to Oprans"

And now for the final news report for Morning Session. A new comer to the city called Cornelius have raised questions and speculation plunging the city which many pointed and compared the accurate physical resemblance of Manager Dream From Dream Supermarket and the newcomer Cornelius with also came with it adopted child named Robin was Cornelius and Dream the Mysterious manager is a far off brothers? Genetic resemblances? Honestly even i you're humbly reporter didn't conclude into this. And that is for today's Morning News this is your local Reporter Nicholas Diwa goodbye.

Honestly i have spent like minutes or maybe an hour or two into this clearly i am not a major on English grammar so i deeply apologize if i make an text or spelling error with that ahem... Anyways i think that it would be more chaotic that if i have mixed the A Tales of the SMP and the Dream SMP Characters but hey it's not like i have taking over your well... Doings on this AU but anyway hope you like this... Right? 😥

Oh my god I love this entire thing so much! Don’t worry, it’s great!! My face hurts from smiling help meeeeee

[stevenbasic]

The Tale of Queen Angie, Chapter 2

10 months later.

“So who keeps texting you?” Angie asked, trying to hide her annoyance as she did her makeup at the vanity, brushing on the heavy mascara that made her eyes pop. He had recently restored the makeup table for her, rebuilding a nice old piece that had caught her eye at a yard sale a few months back. It’s not that she had very particular tastes in furniture; she just wanted to keep him busy, focused on something for her...

From his spot on her queen-sized bed, AJ quickly reached over to the nightstand, pushing aside the tissues and lotion, and silenced his phone. Even though it was nearly noon, and a Tuesday, he still hadn’t gotten out of bed.  “It’s...nobody, babe.” “Don’t ‘nobody babe’ me,” she said, her eyes flashing to meet his in the mirror, “Remember? We talked about this. About keeping secrets, from me?” To that, AJ laughed. To sound aloof, though,  was a half-hearted effort,. She’s joking, right? It’s not like it’s another girl, ever. It’s just th- Well, better not push it. “S-so sorry, Angie,” he apologized, not wanting a confrontation again over something so silly, “It was the guys from work. They want me to come down to Stoney’s to watch the game.” 

He had answered honestly, not even sure he was capable of lying to her at this point. AJ had, since reconnecting with Angie at the reunion earlier this year, really fallen hard for her. And it wasn’t just the tits, which admittedly were initially the main attraction. She was also smart, driven, and there was an aggression about her that, these days, had really become appealing to him. He’d never would have considered himself a...what did they call it?...a “beta”, but there was something about the way Angie took charge, managed things, told him what to do that really, yeah, turned him on. More and more every day, in fact.  And not just in bed - though, haha, she did that too - but in life in general. Their romance started out with her as the aggressor, and as time went on it had become even more and more one-sided. She had been an infatuated admirer of his back in high school, but if he was being honest it was now really her that held most all the hand in this relationship. But he hadn’t seen the guys much lately, and he kinda wanted to get drunk and commiserate with them. Since losing the stadium job to that big new girly construction company, his business had taken a sour turn. He’d had to let most of his crews go, including a bunch of old friends. 

“They’re down there drinking, before noon, on a Tuesday?” Angie asked, as she saw him watching her, primping in the mirror in her silk dressing robe, “And these people are your friends?” 

“Well, yeah,” he answered, immediately feeling sheepish, immediately feeling like the little boy trying to explain himself to his mom. She had a way of doing that, making him feel infantile and not like the kinda-successful, twenty-nine year-old adult male he was, “but I’d just be going for a beer or two…” So...dammit... why was he getting hard..?

Annoyance was bubbling up in Angie Wade’s chest. He knew she had taken the day off, so they could spend the day together. And he wanted to go see his moron buddies, drink cheap beer and watch sports? True, she hadn’t paid him much attention this morning, and he was probably feeling a little neglected. I guess I should do something about that, she thought wryly. 

“Well, tell them you're busy,” she answered, applying a dramatic shade to her eyelids in the mirror. She was almost done. “Or better yet, just ignore them. They’ll get the message.”

At that, she stood up from her makeup chair and turned around in her short, thin robe of light rose, cinched at the waist. She was facing him now where he laid, half-sitting, on the bed. He had his grey sweatpants back on but was otherwise bare. She watched his eyes move up her body, pausing - predictably - on her well-presented chest before struggling to break free of the magnetic pull of her curves and meet her gaze. 

A part of him had really wanted to go meet up with his friends. To get out of bed and go do ….something normal. He’d been getting out of the house, aside from the less-and-less frequent work, not that often these days. But that desire to leave was small, and fleeting. No sooner had he really grasped how she’d made herself up today - just for him - than the thought had already vanished. Replaced, in its entirety, by her. “Put the phone down,” she told him. “Oh, uh...yeah,” he obeyed, dropping his phone, forgotten, on the nightstand and watching as she slowly began to walk towards the bed, “They’ll, uh...they’ll figure it out, I g-guess...” “Good boy,“ she purred, giving him a crooked smile that told him she was pleased with his behavior. Angie loved the way he always shuddered and grew quiet when she said that, when she called him a “good boy”. It was a thing, these days, women starting to treat their partners like children. She’d read it in the blogs she followed, heard it from friends and from the girls at work. They had all begun to like it; men, for the most part, seemed to be slowly giving up these centuries-old, macho defenses, letting themselves be vulnerable, allowing themselves to enjoy the pampering that women had started to learn was the quickest way to gain leverage and control in their relationships. And for Angie, well...she loved the way he responded to both her silent and explicit commands, just for the opportunity to hear her say those words. Good boy. He really did enjoy when she mothered him, she knew.  It was kinda pervy but it worked.

“Because we’re busy today, you and me,” she continued, still approaching the side of the bed where he lay, ”Today’s our day off together....” She looked down at him, tried to keep from smirking; already his cock had started to tent his sweatpants. “Not that you’ve been working much anyways,” she added, unable to help herself and speaking plainly. 

It was true. With more and more construction bids falling through during the 11th hour, his work kept him less and less busy, though he felt constantly exhausted from the stress. He had been spending lots of time here, at her place, remodeling her condo for her, sleeping over. His bank accounts had nearly dried to nothing, and the lease on his downtown apartment was up this month. Plan was to officially move in with her, soon. Angie said she didn’t need any money for rent.

Finally, she arrived at his bedside, to his left. She let him look up at her - she knew she looked impressive from this angle - and smiled down at him. She watched as he took the hem of her robe between his fingers, played with its slick, soft fabric. He was looking at her full thigh. She sat down, on the edge of the mattress aside him, and put her hand on his thin, tattooed chest. 

“Uh, yeah…” AJ finally replied, these little derisive comments about his work situation irking him less and less as time went on, “I’ve got another day to kill…I guess I can relax...”

“Well, you do have work to do today, baby,” Angie informed him, tracing little circles with her finger across his once-mighty pecs. She had told him to stop going to the gym early in their relationship - muscular guys were going out of fashion, she’d said - and it showed. He was naturally a lean person, and the strong physique he had spent years building and been known for had mostly disappeared. She liked that, the weak, small-boned look, she’d found. Her friends, like that gym-rat Missy (who just got a new job), could probably squat more than him now, haha. “I have jobs for you.”

“I thought I was pretty much all done?” His face screwed up in concentration as he tried to remember the long list of tasks. “I finished the kitchen island, a-and installed the new shower head yesterd-“ 

“Not that kind of work, sweetie,” she corrected, “Relationship work. I have the day off, I got all pretty for you. I bought some new goodies at Victoria’s Secret yesterday,” she smiled down at him, watching him try to control the little eager twitches of his, “Well, technically, you bought them for me…. but either way….”

She ran the fingers of her left hand up past his right collarbone, sliding up his throat, looking at the tender, bare, smoothly unadorned skin, and thought to herself with a secret, silent giggle: we need to get you a new tattoo...

Today she’d decided that she wanted to have some fun with him. They had all day together and she really wanted to feel strong and powerful. She had seen Melissa’s Instagram earlier, and while she would never admit to feeling lesser, she couldn’t deny that she really felt the need now to flex some feminine muscles. She looked down at him, and dark thoughts went through her head. 

“We’ve got alllll day together,” she continued, her free hand now gently tugging on the belt which held her robe closed, “and I want to make you ache.”

She smiled proudly as, as soon as her right breast began to come into view, he groaned. He was already so turned on, she could see that, like some brainless ape. She’d read the manuals, all those domme blogs. With everything that was going on with men these days, femdom was getting very popular. Some seemed sort of silly - so much leather haha - but there were lots of things she wanted to try, get his mind in the right place. She wanted to make him even more submissive than he was already, it seemed, naturally becoming. Showing him her breast was a start. 

“Don’t you want to show me how much you love me today, hmm?” Angie purred, peeling her robe back further, now, exposing her G-cup breasts in the new push-up, black strapless bra she’d purchased, “How much you love...them?”

“Oh, god, Angie…” AJ moaned, already overcome as he watched as she dropped her robe behind herself, off her shoulders.  Her breasts looked fantastic, enormous, pressed perfectly together into mind-melting cleavage. Her long dark hair had fallen softly onto her chest…

...but in a practiced move she pushed it back, over her pale shoulders, affording him a better view. 

“You don’t need to show me your endurance today, baby,” she said, as she settled closer on the bed to him, pulling his sweatpants down to his knees, “I’m not interested in how long you can last.” Acknowledging his erection with a proud smile, she pulled in closer still and grasped it with her left hand. She heard him gasp, and pulled herself in closer still, to bring her big right tit right close to his face. “Today I want you to show me how weak you are for me…and my breasts…”

AJ’s mouth dropped open, his eyes goggled at the cantaloupe-sized breast of his brunette girlfriend, now just inches from his nose and mouth. She had such big, perfect breasts, he marveled, with smooth ivory skin and just the fewest of freckles. She smelled like fresh fruit, he always thought, and today her perfume had him immediately fixated. He did feel weak for her, he thought, he always did, in bed. She just had this way...and those tits...

“Look what I’ve done to you already,” she said, the pride in her voice masking a haughty disdain as she slowly began to stroke him in her fist. She smiled as, predictably, he let out a little whine and opened his mouth wider. He was staring right at her big boob, unblinking. Tit men, she marveled, they’re so easy.

She shifted her left shoulder in towards him, now bringing her left breast closer. He looked from one, to the other, still gape-mouthed like a guppy. “Today I want them to make you cum over and over and over,” she said, wobbling them just enough to bring ripples through her alabaster flesh, elicit another whine from him, “I want them to be the only thing on your mind allllll daaaay. I want you to be dumb and docile, I want you to drool over them. I want you to fucking worship them. ”

“y-y-y-yuh...yuh, okay…” AJ responded, dumbly ogling her tits, passively frozen in place. He’d learned to keep his hands to himself, times like this. She would take care of it. 

“‘Yuh okay’ what?” she asked him, in correction, her left hand slowing to a stop as she waited for his answer. 

“y-yuh okay goddess,” he answered.

She chuckled. She’d taught him well. “Good boy,” she commended, loving the worshipful fealty she’d gotten from him over time; it made her feel good, fed her ballooned ego. She resumed her ministrations to his just-about-average cock, thinking: Does Melissa have someone calling her ‘Goddess’?? I think not...

”oh my god you’re so big,” AJ offered, as she placed her right breast once again straight in front of his face. 

“Mmhm…” she purred, feeling the urge to just squash her tit onto his mouth and nose, start to smother him, “I’m the big Titty Monster, come to eat you…”

He groaned again, his eyes fluttered in ecstasy. 

God, so submissive, she marveled. If all men, honestly, were secretly getting to be like this, she thought, girls are going to rule the world. “Tell me again,” she commanded, breathing in, pushing her tit even closer to him, so that soft flesh swelled over the cup. She kept her skin smooth, soft, moisturized, for times just like this. The few, faint stretch marks, she felt, were just a testament to her womanly size.

“y-you’re so big…” he complied, repeating himself, in total awe now. 

“Yes, I am,” she agreed, “a G-cup.” She had originally thought she’d just make him come quick - and with where she had him at the moment she could do it in an instant. But she was actually enjoying this. “And you like that, hm? You like big. Big boobs. Big girls. Maybe I should start going to the gym, get reeeeeal big?” she posited, looming over him taller now, “Get bigger than you? You’d like that too, wouldn’t you?”

“oh, god, yes,” he groaned. 

Angie smiled. Again, so easy. She’d seen it, knew it. It was getting plain as day to her. But she didn’t fully understand it all yet. What is up with guys these days, wanting their women big? Bigger than them? And she was feeling it too, she realized. She’d love to see him start to just shrink up, right in front of her eyes. Something was happening, something was going on. And she was going to figure this out. 

“What is it, baby? Tell me. What is it that you like, thinking about me being bigger?” she asked sweetly, continuing her slow, rhythmic attentions between his legs. 

His eyes were still planted on her tit, staring at her bra. “....b-b-breassts….” he moaned. 

She laughed. What a simple, predictable answer from a simple, predictable man. “Ohhhh..!” she giggled, teasing him, “Am I not big enough for you? Should I get implants? Big ones, like Amelia? Hm?”

From AJ, no answer.

“Hmmm, no. I think I know...I know what you want,” she continued, wickedly aware now of where his mind was,  “Maybe I should let you get me pregnant, so they swell up..?” She smiled, feeling his body tense up, quiver under her. She’d struck a chord. “So my milk comes in?”

Beneath her AJ groaned, loudly. 

So that’s another thing, hm? she laughed to herself. Typical, not surprising. Men wanted back on the tit, it just made sense, and she’d suspected it for a while now with him. She could use this, she mused. Oh yes, this was good...

“I saw how you woke up sucking your thumb last night,” she asked him, sliding her right hand up over his jaw, his cheek, to his lips, “Were you thinking about me?”

She put a finger in his mouth, watched his eyes go wide, his whole body spasm, again. “It’s okay, sweetie...” she offered, “...suck.” 

His eyes fluttered, he was close. There was no stopping it now. He sealed his lips around her forefinger, and began to suck. 

“There you go….” Angie purred, in a satisfied drawl. She felt his hips start to clench, and suddenly it was time.  She sped up in her stroking, to bring him home.  This was it. It’s too much for him. “Come for me,” she whispered, her hand beating him now, “Come for mommy…”

In a burst, in a groan, in a tensing spasm that shook the bed, AJ came in her hand. His mouth loosened its suction on her finger, so he could bleat his pleasures, but his eyes stayed wide on her tit. She milked him through his climax, purring little, maternal adulations along the way. Finally, his eyes closed, and he sank back into his pillow. 

She sat back, up straight, regarded the scene with a crooked, knowing smile. She wiped her hand on his belly. 

“Clean yourself up, get yourself ready,” she told him, standing up now after allowing him his few quiet moments of shame, “We’ve got all day together, baby…”

=============================

Co-written with AgeOfTheGiantess. More imagery, bonus storylines and other cool stuff at my Patreon

[totallysharkycomplete]

Waiting For You Part Three (Ford Pines x Reader) Her Family Too

“Morning,” Stanley grumbles as he enters the kitchen.

She told him he could stay the night at the cabin, but she wanted him gone in the morning. She doesn't reply, but grips the counter with white knuckles.

“Listen, I know you said you wanted me gone-”

“Correct,” she cuts him off, refusing to look at him.

“But listen,” he rubs the back of his neck. “I want to help, this is all my fault and I want to help you get him back.”

Again she is silent. Stan sighs and turns away from her, she looks at him walking away before noting the burn from yesterday peeking out from his tank top. She grabs his forearms to stop him. “Sit down,” she instructs before going to get the first aid kit. Although the first encounter with Stan made her lose her fiance, he was Ford’s family, which meant he was her family too, and family looks after each other.

He obeys and sits at the table. He watches as she sets the kit on the table for digging around for a few things. She moves behind him and applies something to his shoulder that burns. He hisses and slightly pulls away before settling back down. She knew it would burn but didn’t warn him.

“This is going to scar,” she informs him.

“It’ll be a good reminder to be less of a jerk,” he jokes, causing her to smile.

She continues to clean the burn, apply an ointment and a bandage. “You can stay until that heals. Just so I can make sure it doesn't get infected.”

“Uh, right.”

----------- The next few days are spent awkwardly shuffling around each other as she continues to take care of Ford’s experiments, while looking around the house for his journals. She didn't think he would hide them there but it was as good a place to start looking as any. The majority of the day she spends in the basement tinkering away at the portal.

Stan makes his way down there one day to find her wiping away tears as she rearranged some wires. Her arm was deep in a metal compartment and she was on her knees.

“I don’t know much about science, but aren’t you not supposed to mix water and electricity.”

She scowls at him having not noticed him come in, then turns away to dry the rest of her tears. “What do you want?”

“Like I said, I want to help, just tell me what to do.” He walks to stand in front of her but she doesn’t look at him. “I know I messed up, but can’t you at least look at me?”

“No!” She snaps. “You look so much like him!” A sob escapes her. “I hate it,” she cries. “I hate it so much! I hate you!”

Stan can feel the heavy weight of guilt in his chest increase. Still, he kneels down to embrasse her. “I know kid, I hate me too.”

To his surprise she holds him back while she cries. After a few minutes her sobs calm down and she pulls away. Her cheeks are tear streaked and eyes red and puffy. She looks up at him before looking away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean that. I don’t know you enough to hate you.”

Stan let out a chuckle.

“Also, I don’t think I’m being fair, I lost my fiance, but you lost your twin brother too. How are you?” She looks at him again, sincerity in her eyes.

Stan is taken aback. How could she be so caring about him when he just ruined her life? He swallows, feeling a lump start to build in the back of his throat. “Me? Just peachy.” He lies.

She stands up and moves back to what she was working on. “You’re a bad liar, just like Ford.” ----------- She agrees to let Stan stay with her indefinitely. Deciding she can’t kick her family out when he had nowhere to go. One day a few months in, he approached her with an idea to turn the cabin into a tourist attraction.

“A shack of mystery, The Mystery Shack!” He grins.

“No, definitely not. Absolutely not.” She argues.

Stan sighs. “Listen, you told me yourself the grant money had run out. Unless you want to get a job at that greasy diner, I’d like to hear what else you plan to do for money.”

She turns away from her work with a groan of annoyance. “I… I don’t know. That feels almost disrespectful to all of Ford’s work. Showing it off like some cheap roadside attraction.”

“We don’t have to use his work, sweetheart.” He coos, she makes an almost disgusted face at the nickname. “I’ll make up all new attractions, fake of course. Wouldn’t want the rubes of this town getting freaked out or nothing.”

Reluctantly she agrees. She moves the rest of Ford’s experiments to their room or the basement. Since Ford was gone their room seemed too big to be in all by herself. She moved into a smaller room across the hall, and with Stans help they sealed up his room until they could get him back.

It wasn’t long until Stan was getting customers. At least a few everyday. She had told him she wanted nothing to do with it though and spent her time in the basement.

A few months of this routine had passed, Stan swindling the townsfolk and anyone stupid enough to come in. He glued different animals together, bought wax figures, anything to get people in, and she couldn’t really complain. He was taking care of all the bills as she tried to fix the portal.

One night Stan heats up some soup and claims to have made dinner. The atmosphere while they eat is more tense than normal. Finally Stan decided to ask if he did something stupid and not notice.

She stares at the soup without looking up. “Today marks half a year, Stan.”

“Oh,” now it's his turn to stare at his soup. “I hadn’t realised.”

“Unless we can find the other two journals this is hopeless,” she cradles her head in her hands.

“As long as we don’t give up, it’s not hopeless.” Stan disagrees.

Later that night she sits in her new room on the edge of her bed. She looks down at her hand, and thinks about how empty it is. How empty she feels. How she would give anything to feel Ford’s hand in hers right now. How she’d give anything to not feel so alone. Her body shakes as she begins to sob. She lets herself have a real good cry for the first time in half a year.

Stan could hear her cries. He was standing outside her door which was cracked open. He was unsure whether to let her cry it out or if he should intervene and stop her from feeling so sad.

After letting her cry for a few minutes he walked into her room without knocking and sat beside her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and held her hand. She leaned her head onto his chest.

“When is this feeling going to stop? I don’t want to be sad anymore, Stan.”

“I don’t know kid,” was all he could say. Anything more and he would cry as well.

Eventually her cries died down and she began falling asleep against him. He tried to lay her down on the bed but she grabbed onto him.

“Please stay, I don’t want to be alone.” she sniffed.

He didn’t argue and layed down in bed next to her, a foot away. She held his hand as she fell asleep.

The year anniversary of Ford’s disappearance Stan cried for the first time. He thought he was alone as he stood in front of the broken portal.

“A whole year, huh, Sixer? Time flies. Don’t worry, I’m taking care of the kid for ya’. We’ll have you back in no time, we…” Stan lets out a sob and places his hand on the portal. He allows himself to cry. Even when he feels arms wrap him in a hug from behind he continues to cry.

She presses her forehead to his back and holds him while he cries. When he begins to calm down she lets go and wordlessly excuses herself from the room, knowing he wouldn’t want to talk about it. ---------- Three years pass and still not much has changed, except Stan has roped her into working in the gift shop on busy days. He doesn’t like how much time she spent in the basement, and she had to admit she liked the experience of talking to people who were traveling. Most had a fun atmosphere about them.

However, on day a familiar face comes in. Stan was already on a tour when the door chimes. “Welcome to the Mystery Shack, tours are every half hours and…” She stops when her mind registers who it is. “Fids!” She shouts and runs around the counter to give him a hug.

He chuckles. “Good ta’ see you to, friend.”

“What brings you here?” She lets go of him and takes a step back.

“I kept hearing about this ‘Mystery Shack’ and had to find out if it was really this old cabin.” He tells her.

She bashfully looked at the ground. “The grant money ran out. Had to make money somehow.” She confides in him.

“I just never thought this would be Ford’s style.” He confesses, and watches her face fall into a frown.

“Fids, I…” She thought hard about how to tell him. “You were right about that portal being no good. I….” She sighs. “There's so much I need to tell you.”

“How ‘bout we have dinner and catch up sometime then?” He smiles, not knowing that Ford wasn’t included in the ‘we’.

She offers him a small smile. “That'd be nice.”

They agree on a date and time for her to come over to his place, and he goes to leave when Stan ushers a crowd of tourists into the gift shop. He makes his way over to you.

Your face is panicked and you look from him to Fids. Stan leans against the counted and mouths to you, “What a bunch of rubes.” He then turns to Fids and offers him his hand to shake. “Mister Mystery at your service.”

Now Fids looks at Stan’s hand, then to her, back to Stan. She sighs and places a hand over Stan’s, pushing it down. “Stan, this was mine and Ford’s colleague, Fiddleford.”

Stan’s eager grin falls from his face. “Oh,” he clears his throat. “Well I got a tour to give.” He excuses himself.

Fids gives her another look. “I’ll explain everything.”

A few nights later she arrives at Fiddleford’s house. He’s made a simple pasta dinner and they enjoy some small talk as they talk about their time in Gravity Falls. When they’re done they go and sit on his couch.

“I see Ford finally popped the big question.” Fids smiles as he looks at the ring on her finger.

She fidgets at it with her thumb. “He did, and we were on a spaceship no less.”

“No kiddin’?” He ignores the spaceship part as much as he can. “So what’s been going on in that cabin in the woods?” He finally asks.

She lets out a heavy sigh. “So it all started around the time you left.” She begins, and explains everything that happened, Ford falling into the portal, Stan taking care of you and the cabin.

“I’m so sorry,” Fids lays his hand on her knee. “I knew no good would come of that portal,” he said almost under his breath.

“If only we had listened to you sooner. Maybe all of this could have been avoided.” She sighs and leans her head against his shoulder, his hand not on her knee wraps around her shoulder and rubs circles with his thumb.

She can’t help but feel so welcome to the touch. It had been so long since a man had touched her. She stopped her thoughts there. Fids is just being kind, don't be a pervert, she scolded herself in her mind.

Her thoughts quickly changed, however, when he softly said her name. She tilted her head to look up at him, and his hand from her knee moved to hold her chin. He looked in her eyes for any sign she wanted to pull away, but she didn’t. Instead she leaned up to hesitantly kiss him.

He kissed her back, more sure of himself than she was. After some kissing he slowly layed her back on the couch.

“Is this too much? If ya’ want I’ll stop just say the word.” He checks.

“Fids, it’s been so long since I’ve been touched. Please.” She almost whimpers, and he complies.

They’re time together is quick and imperfect, but leaves her feeling satisfied. Almost as soon as they are done she moves to put her clothes on.

“Leaving already?” He smirks.

“Fids, I…” She's unsure how to explain what that was. A moment of need and lust with no feelings?

“I’m just teasing, darling. Don’t have to mean nothing if ya’ don’t want it to.” He stands to dress as well, then walks her to the door. “Doors open anytime ya’ need me.”

She nods in understanding before scurrying off to Stan’s car she had borrowed. When she returns home her hair is out of place, shirt not tucked in correctly, and of course Stan is up late enough to comment.

“How was your date?” He jokes before he actually looks at her. He gives her a quick once over before grinning ear to ear. “You got laid? Nice!” He raises his hand for a high five but she just scowls at him.

She and Fiddleford see each other a few more times before calling it off. She can tell too much of his heart is in it and she doesn’t want to lead him on. He understands and they go their separate ways. It’s not long before she hears a rumor he’s got a steady girlfriend, and not long after that that he’s married with a kid.

The next time she sees him he’s not himself. He’s panicked and his country accent is more prominent than normal. He explains how he’s been using his memory eraser on himself, how all the things in Gravity Falls is too much for him. She tried to get him to promise to stop but he refuses. They argue and he raises his voice. She leaves, not to see Fiddleford for almost thirty year. ----------- She absolutely opposed the idea. “So let me get this straight,” she’s pinching the bridge of her nose, a habit she definitely picked up from Ford. “You want to fake your death?” She watches as Stan nods. “And pretend to be Ford?” He nods again. She slams her hands down on the table. “For what reason on Earth would you want to do that?”

“Listen, I’ve made some mistakes in my life,” he pauses as the look she gives him pretty much says she knows. “So I may have multiple warrants out for my arrest. If I’m gonna keep running the shack. It needs to be like Ford Pines and not Staley Pines!” He insists.

She sighs knowing he’s a little right. Sitting down at the kitchen table she looks up at him. “What about your mother, Stan?”

He pauses confused. “What about her?”

She scowls at him. “What do you mean ‘what about my mother’? Stanley Pines she's going to be heart broken. Not only has she not heard from you in almost ten years, the next thing she's going to hear about you is that you’re dead?” She pauses and thinks for a moment. “Well actually…”

“Well actually what?” Stan grunts.

“The last thing she heard about you was that you had joined Ford and I for Thanksgiving last year.” She looks up in thought. “At least that’s what my letter said.”

“You’ve been writing to my mother?” Stan’s face is distraught.

“Oh course I have! Ford never stopped working long enough to call her, so I started writing to her.” She looks annoyed at Stan.

“Did you say anything about…” He moves his hands awkwardly.

“Did I tell her Ford fell into a portal to another dimension and has been missing for almost five years? Yeah, Stan, I told her that.” She mocks. “Oh course I didn’t! To your parents and brother’s knowledge, Ford is still hard at work here in Gravity Falls with his loving girlfriend!”

Stan looks at hurt like a kicked puppy and she sighs, before saying she’d be right back. When she returns she has a handful of hand written papers. “These,” she sets them on the table, “are all from your mother.”

Stan looks over at them as she spreads them out. “I, listen Stan.” She gently touches his shoulder. “I know you haven't talked since you were kicked out, but your mother still loves you. Maybe… I don’t know, write her a letter before you go through with your choice.” And with that she leaves the room.

Stan waits a moment then sits down at the table. He reaches for the letter on top and begins to read.

Dearie, Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I know how busy Ford is. I love the picture you sent of you and Ford at the waterfall, we have it hanging in the living room. When are you two getting married? I can only wait so long for grandkids!

I was surprised to hear Stanley joined you for Thanksgiving, I didn’t even know he and Ford were talking again. Makes my heart glad to hear two brothers can make up. How did he look? Was he taking care of himself? I love that boy to death but he never did a good job taking care of himself. He needs a good woman like you in his life!

Stan sets down the letter, unable to read on through the tears that are clouding his vision. He wipes some away before deciding on what to do. After finding a pen and paper he sits back down to scrawl out his own message.

Hey Ma, Long time no talk. Listen, this message will be short. I know you haven’t heard from me in awhile I just wanted to say hey. Hope you and the old man are well, Shermie too.

I’ve been having the time of my life traveling the country. I even visited sixer and met the lovely lady in his life, boy what a catch, huh? Anyways I’ve got to get going. Adventure awaits and all that.

Love you, Stanley Pines ---------- A few days later she's sitting in the cabin kitchen to read the paper, she unfolds it to read STAN PINES DEAD across the front of it and sighs. She looks up at him over the paper and he’s staring out the window.

She sets the page of the newspaper aside. “Who’s going to tell your family?”

Stan eventually sits down at the phone and dials a number. His voice isn’t his as he pretends to be his brother. “Hello, mother. Yes, we’re doing just fine thank you for asking. Listen, I, uh, I have some bad news.”

She watches as he talks to his mother. Tears form in her eyes at the sounds of Ford’s voice. She wondered how he could sound so perfectly like him. Stan said a few more things before motioning her over.

“Ma want to talk to you.” Stan says.

She wipes a tear away and takes the phone. “Mrs.Pines, I’m so sorry. Yes, I know.” Stan listens to one side of the conversation. “Yes, ma, of course he knew you loved him.” She looks at Stan with tears in her eyes. “Of course he loved you too.”

Stan turned from her to hide his tears.

At his funeral she made an excuse, saying Ford was too heartbroken to come, as Stan watched from a distance away, as his family buried an empty casket in the ground. On the drive home she lay her head in Stanley’s lap, red eyes from crying with his mother.

They were silent for hours until she spoke. “Stan?”

He grunts in response.

“Do you think….” she doesn’t finish her thought.

“Don’t say it.” Stan frowns.

“Do you think Ford is dead?” She chokes out.

Stan pulls the car over to a screeching halt. She’s startled and sits up.

“Don’t,” he whispered before raising his voice. “Don’t you ever think like that!”

Stan stops from yelling more when he looks at her. Her shoulders are hunched over and her head is down, her hands held over her chest. Stan could compare her to a lost kitten.

He groans. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, but we can’t afford to think like that. Ford’s alive I can feel it. If anything happened to him, I’d know.”

She nods, still clearly shaken by his sudden agner. He sighs and motions her closer, she complies and he pulls her into a hug. “I’m sorry I yelled.”

“It’s okay,” she murmurs into his shoulder.

One morning a few months later the shacks received a call that Mr.Pines had passed. She’s there to comfort him, and a few years later he gets the same call about his mother, she’s still there by his side.

---------- On the thirteenth year anniversary of Ford’s disappearance, as she still called it, Stan found her sitting in front of the portal reading his journal. He sighed and sat down next to her.

“This is no way to spend a Friday night, kid.” He says.

She smiles, but it isn't sad. “It’s a fine way to spend it for me.”

“You seem awfully cheery for… today.” Stan comments.

She sighs, almost sounding content. “It’s just, the more time goes by the more sure I am we’ll get him back.”

He just stares at her. “Well I’m glad you feel that way. But for me, tonight I’m thinking about pitt cola and some dark liquor. Care to join?”

She snaps the journal shut. “Absolutely.”

A few hours later they are playing a childish game of never have I ever, clearly calling the other out. He’s sat in his armchair, she’s sat on the dinosaur skull next to him.

“Never have I ever been to jail.” She sneers as Stan drinks from his cup.

“Never have I ever kissed someone’s twin brother.” Stan sneers back. She rolls her eyes as she drinks.

“Never have I ever faked my death.” She laughs.

“Never have I ever, um, slept with my fiance's college roommate.” He watches as she narrows her eyes at him.

“That’s low Stanley,” she takes a drink. “Never have I ever lost a girlfriend to a hippie.” She bites her lip to stop her shit eating grin.

Stan frowns as he drinks. “Alright I’ve had enough of that game.”

“Why,” she jeers. “Because you know I have more dirt on you than you do me?” She turns to straddle her chair.

He grumbles some excuse and drinks more.

“Oh that’s exactly why.” She takes a drink.

“Well what do you expect, kid? I’ve lived a life of crime and you went to college and met a nice boy, who swept you off your feet to a romantic cabin in the woods.” He huffs.

“Hmm,” she thinks. “I suppose that’s true. Stan why haven’t you found a nice girl, or guy, to settle down with?” She asks sincerely.

“I’ve been too busy. Plus I got you to take care of.” He laughs as she punches his arm.

“I could take care of myself if you want to go off and get married. You’re a total catch Stan, some girl would be happy to be with you.” She smiles and finishes her drink.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” He jokes.

“I’m just being honest, any Pine’s boy is a catch. Why do you think Sermie is already married with a grown kid? Plus I got lucky and snatched up the cute twin before someone else got him.” She jokes and Stan shoves her shoulder playfully, however in her buzzed state she begins to fall back. Stan moves to catch her, both his hand landing on her shoulders.

“Thanks,” she breaths, her face right next to his. Before she knows it Stan leans in and gives her a kiss. She kisses back, after a few kisses they both pull back.

She laughs and covers her mouth. He chuckles too.

“Yeah, that was weird.” He states.

“Yeah, don’t do that again.” She bursts out laughing and he blushes. ---------- On the twentieth anniversary Stan wakes up to the sound of banging. He sits up with a start and heads down stairs to the basement. He finds her hard at work tinkering away.

“You alright, kid?” He asks.

“When are you going to stop calling me kid, Stanley? We’re a few years apart, not to mention, we’re almost senior citizens.” She smirks.

“Gross, don’t say that.” He scratches himself. “But what are you doing down here so early?”

She continues what she was working on. “I just feel like we’re so close. Closer than we’ve ever been. Don’t you feel it too?” Her eyes are bright and hopeful.

Stan doesn’t really feel the same, but with the look she’s giving him, there's no way in hell he’d say it outloud. “I trust your instinct.” He starts helping her before she yells at him to go put on clothes and change out of his slippers. ---------- It's a gloomy day outside, the wind is howling and the snow comes down in blankets. She's sat in the arm chair with a pen and paper, writing something down when Stan walks by.

“What’re you up to today, toots?” Stan asks.

She doesn't reply lost in her writing. He leans over to take a look before she pulls it against her chest.

“Are you writing a letter?” He quirked an eyebrow. “Isn’t everyone we know dead?”

She scowls. “You still have two brother who are alive, buttface.”

“You write Shermie?”

“Not often but I do. This isn’t for him though.” She pouts.

Stan pauses and thinks before he speaks, what a rarity. “It’s for Ford?”

She slowly nods. “I’ve written him a letter every year on his anniversary since he’s been gone. Today marks twenty five years. Just in case.”

“Just in case what?” Stan frowns.

She lets out a small laugh. “Stan we aren’t exactly spring chickens. I could have a heart attack tomorrow and-”

“Don’t talk like that, Ford will be back soon, you won’t need those lousy letters to tell him what’s been going on around here.” Stan states gruffly.

She smiles. “I’m sorry if me talking of my own mortality upset you Stan. I won’t mention it again.” ---------- “Shermie’s grandkids are coming up for the summer.” Stan tells her one morning over breakfast.

“Really?” She beams. “I can’t wait to meet then, Stanley that’s so exciting!” Her smile wavers for a second. “But, Gravity Falls really isn't the safest place for kids.”

“What was I supposed to tell Shermie’s kids, No they can’t come because there's gnomes and mythical creatures in the forest?” He pinches his nose. “It’ll be good to get those city slickers in the forest for a while, toughen them up.”

“How old are they?”

“12.”

[bonnyskies]

come back to me [three] ⇢ jjk

you’re willing to do anything to save your marriage, even if that meant you’d have to sacrifice your own happiness to do so.

pairings — husband!jungkook x malereader, ft. ceo!jaehyun (that’s right babes, he’s in here)

genre — angst, sexual themes, idol au, exes to lovers-ish au, open relationship au, marriage au, parents au

series warnings — infidelity (kinda?), swearing, bisexual!jungkook, insecure!reader, unhealthy relationship, unrequited love-ish, slow burn, use of alcohol, mentions of divorce problems, (more could be added in future chapters)

word count — 2.7k

masterlist

You were utterly exhausted.

After last night, when discovering that Jungkook left you in the middle of the night to be with her, you didn’t get much sleep after that. You just laid out on your bed, staring up at your bedroom’s ceiling with tears in your eyes.

This morning, you felt like absolute death. Bags were evident underneath your eyes and your hands that were trembling uncontrollably, resting by your sides. It took you nearly two hours to get ready compared to your usual one, due to the fact that you couldn’t stop crying.

Jungkook didn’t come home in the morning, didn’t even bother to send you a single text.

It was painful, realizing that your relationship has to come that point where you two acted like complete strangers with each other rather than a married couple. Ten years together, and you never once thought it would ever come to this.

“Hey,” you instantly jumped in your seat at the sound of a man’s deep voice, breaking you away from your troubling thoughts with your heart stammering at a fast pace. When brought back to reality, your eyes landed on none other than the CEO of Jung Enterprises and your boss—Jung Jaehyun. “Are you alright? You seem out of it.”

“Y-Yes, sir.” You answered, clearing your throat. “Just tired, that’s all.”

Jaehyun nodded hesitantly, unsure of your answer but decided not to push it any farther. “Oh, okay.” He then approached your desk, “Remember we have that meeting with our sponsors in about ten minutes. Is everything ready for the presentation?”

“Yes, sir.” You replied again, standing up from your chair and handing him the file that you two put together for today’s conference. “Would you like to go prepare for the presentation?”

Jaehyun nodded, “That’d be good.” He then walked over to your office’s door and opened it, allowing you to step out first, which you did. But when you passed him, you were stopped when Jaehyun suddenly grasped your wrist. “And {Name}, I’d like to also apologize for what happened yesterday.” The reminder made your heart stutter inside your chest. “It was highly inappropriate for me to do that, and I’m sorry if I anyway made you feel uncomfortable—”

“Sir,” you interrupted, “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was just shocking that’s all.”

And once again, Jaehyun only nodded, shoving his hands into his suit’s pockets. “Well, I’m still sorry.”

“It’s alright sir, really.” You smiled reassuringly, reaching up and gently placing your hand onto his bicep, feeling your cheeks heat up at the feeling of the strong muscle. You two then shared a small smile with each other before heading towards the conference room.

While walking alongside him, you couldn’t help but think about what yesterday’s events. The memories resurfacing in your mind.

.

When entering your workplace’s building, you couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation you and Jungkook just had in the car.

You didn’t know whether you believed him or not, if he was telling the truth when he said that he’d change and start trying. You just hope that he was. You’ve been left disappointed by him too many times already.

As you made your way to the building’s elevator, you were suddenly stopped by the company’s receptionist, Jenna. “Hey, {Name}.” Her cheery voice made you slightly irritated. Ever since the downfall between you and Jungkook happened, everything and everyone that resembled happiness made you feel sick. “Mr. Jung has requested for you to come to his office first thing today. Something about having to prepare a presentation for some visiting sponsors tomorrow.”

“Okay, I’ll head right up.” You smiled fakely, nodding.

After entering the elevator and going up to the highest floor—level twenty specifically. The few workers that worked on the level gave you greeting smiles, already knowing who you are. Out of everyone in the company, you’re the one who’s closest to the boss. You are his assistant after all. And since you’re so close to him, that meant you didn’t have to knock before entering his office.

“Hello sir,” you greeted warmly, smiling at the sight of Jaehyun behind his desk, dressed in the finest suit that hugged his figure perfectly, making every muscle in his body look more define.

“Hey,” Jaehyun greeted back, briefly glancing up from his computer with a bright smile on his face before returning back to the screen. “Glad that you’re finally here.”

“Yeah, sorry.” You apologized, closing the door behind you and quickly taking a seat at his desk. “I had a meeting with my son’s teacher this morning.”

“It’s alright, {Name}.” Jaehyun was quick to reassure you, noticing your uneasy expression. “I know you. You would never be late for work unless it was an emergency.” He then continued when seeing you begin to calm down. “Is everything alright with Minho?”

Your heart warmed at the mention of your son. Jaehyun knew about Minho—even met him, and your son even saw him as his ‘samchon’. “He’s okay, just some behavior problems.”

“Well, if you need any help, just let me know.” Jaehyun offered kindly, making you smile.

“Thank you,” you replied gratefully, smiling. “Now, about that presentation. Should we get started on creating it?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun answered instantly, turning one of the two computer screens he had on his desk towards you. “Now, I’m thinking of doing this type of set up for the presentation...”

The two of you spent the rest of the day on this important project. And after seven excruciating hours of staring at the computer, creating slides, applying data, you two were finally done.

With the once clear bright sky replaced with complete darkness, you and Jaehyun were still in his office, glass of wine in hand as you two celebrated this small accomplishment. By far, out of the five years you’ve worked for him this is the longest time you two spent on a simple presentation.

“Thank you for helping me with this.” Jaehyun showed his gratitude, smiling against the glass’s rim before taking a small sip. “I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.”

“Oh, stop.” You waved him off, lowering your head to hide the evident blush that was forming on your cheeks. “You’re just saying that because I’m the only one who is willing to stay after hours with you.”

Jaehyun chuckled. The sound of his deep laughter sending shivers down your spine. “No, seriously. {Name},” he then suddenly reached over and placed his hand on top of yours. “Without you, I’d be lost. You’re the one who keeps me grounded, who keeps me from going absolutely crazy from the stress.”

“W-Well that’s my job.” You anxiously stuttered out, staring at your conjoined hands. “I’m your assistant. I’m suppose to help you with everything.”

“That’s not what I meant, {Name}.” His voice, the way his said your name made your heart skip a beat. Silence filled the room as you two just stared at one another, eyes shifting down at each other’s lips.

You didn’t know who made the first move, but next thing you knew his lips were on yours, and you were laid out on top of his desk. His tie and jacket discarded on the ground and the first few buttons of his dress shirt undone, showing off his sharp collarbones. Your entire body was burning as your lips moved perfectly in sync with his, hands sliding down his toned torso, feeling his define muscles through the shirt’s material.

It was like you were in another world, the feeling of his lips moving away from yours and moving down your jawline and neck, leaving small, lingering kisses on your skin. You didn’t realize what you were doing until you felt his hands that were resting on your waist begin to move up and slide underneath your shirt, caressing your stomach.

Panic swept over you, making you instantly push away and wipe your lips with your hand. “Jae stop, I-I’m married.”

Jaehyun pulled away, taking a few steps back. “Shit, sorry. I-It’s just that—” he paused, running his hand frustratingly through his light brown hair, “—you haven’t talked about Jungkook for a long time and you haven’t been the same lately so I just thought you two separated.”

Your heart sunk from his words. “N-No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” You were standing up now, biting down on your bottom hard enough to where it drew blood. “Me and Jungkook are going through a rough patch right now,” you partially lied. “That’s why I’ve been acting differently lately.”

Jaehyun only nodded, swiping his thumb over his swollen lips. Neither of you knew what to say to each other.

“I-I should go,” you pointed towards the door. Again, Jaehyun nodded, reaching down and picking his jacket and tie up from the ground. “I’ll see you tomorrow, M-Mr. Jung. Have a good night.”

“You too,” was the only Jaehyun could bring himself to say as he watched you leave, chest heaving and lips still burning from yours.

.

“Well that meeting was a complete success,” was the first thing you said as you and Jaehyun entered his office, dropping the used file onto his desk before leaning yourself against it. “Congratulations, sir. You just got three new sponsorships for the company.”

“All thanks to you.” Jaehyun grinned, walking over to small fridge he kept inside his office and pulled out a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

You shook your head before correcting him, “Thanks to us.” You then watched as he poured himself and you a glass. “Are you sure drinking is a good idea? You still have to drive home.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jaehyun instantly reassured, handing your glass. “Plus we’ve got celebrate.”

Hesitantly you took the glass of champagne, “Would you be able to take me home?” And when he nodded, you gave in and took a small sip of the beverage.

And one glass soonturned into three, and then to four and now, you were completely wasted. You’ve always been a light head but Jaehyun, he was completely fine, pouring himself his fifth glass while watching you trying to hold in the champagne with amusement. “Okay, maybe that’s enough for you.”

You pouted when he took your half-empty glass away before gulping down his own. “Are you ready to head home now?” You then nodded.

Jaehyun and you then left the building, not having to bother saying goodbye to anyone else since you two were the only ones left at work. Jaehyun then led you towards his car, which was a beautiful black Ford Mustang. The sight of the expensive vehicle made your jaw drop, making Jaehyun chuckle at your stunned expression before opening the passenger door and allowing you to enter before closing it behind you.

“What is it?” Jaehyun asks the moment he starts his vehicle but doesn’t move, watching you with amusement as you looked around the inside with complete adoration. “Ugly?”

“No,” you instantly shook your head, smiling as you turned to face him. “It’s just really beautiful.”

Jaehyun raised a brow, “Doesn’t Jungkook have something like this?”

You shook your head, frowning slightly at the mention of his name. “No, he chose to trade it in for a more family friendly one for us when we got Minho.” You answered, running your hand gently across the dashboard’s smooth material. “We got a Mercedes SUV, but still, sometimes I miss his old Camari.” The many memories of the times you and Jungkook used to spend in his car began to flash through your mind, warming your heart. “It reminded me of the good old days with him. When everything was simple.”

Noticing the tears beginning to glisten in your eyes, Jaehyun reached over and placed his hand on your thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. “Hey, you okay?”

You quickly nodded, clearing your throat and quickly blinking away the tears before they had the chance of escaping. “Yeah, I-I’m fine. Let’s just go, yeah?”

Jaehyun kept staring you, eyes filled with concern but nonetheless nodded and started to drive.

The drive was completely silent, neither of you saying a word to each other. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable though, but rather the opposite. Jaehyun and you were close with one another, close enough to where you two didn’t even have talk and yet still feel comfortable with each other.

When arriving at your house, your heart instantly sunk when seeing that Jungkook’s car wasn’t in the driveway. It was near eleven and his practice ended at eight. You knew exactly where he was right now—with her. Jaehyun must’ve noticed your fallen expression because next thing you knew you felt his hand on your shoulder. “Hey, if you need anyone to talk to, I’m here for you. You know that right? Always.”

You gave him a simple nod, smiling softly. “Yeah, I know.” Glancing back at the empty driveway, your heart ached as heinous thoughts of Jungkook and Yeonha together consumed and haunted your mind, tears swelling up in your eyes once again. You then turned towards Jaehyun, “Do you want to come in?”

Your question shocked Jaehyun, making his eyes widen. He thought you were joking. But when seeing your glistening eyes, shining with tears, he knew you were serious, so he nodded.

.

.

.

Time flew by, and now it was one in the morning.

You and Jaehyun were sitting on your living room’s couch, you dressed in your pajamas which consisted of one of his shirts and a pair of boxers while Jaehyun was still in his suit.

Neither of you were drinking surprisingly, but instead had the tub of your favorite ice cream placed between you two, sharing it with your own individual spoon.

Jaehyun kept his word when he said that he’d be there for you. He sat there while you told him everything that has been going with you in the past week—hell, even the last six months. You told him about Jungkook’s love for you vanishing and him gaining feelings for another person. You told him about your guys’ open relationship, explaining how that was the only choice you had to keep your family together even if that meant you and Jungkook weren’t together.

Tears were spilling from your eyes uncontrollably and heavy sobs were falling from your lips, making your words come out illegible, but Jaehyun continued to listen nonetheless. “I’m sorry, {Name}.” He was speechless. “You don’t deserve any of this.”

You could only shrug, afraid that if you spoke again nothing but cries would come out.

“Jungkook’s a complete asshole—” Jaehyun was interrupted at the sound of the front door opening, both of you turning to see that it was none other than your husband himself entering the house.

The sound of approaching footsteps made your heartbeat quicken and hands tremble. Jaehyun stared at you, noticing your sudden change in demeanor.

When Jungkook approached the living room, his eyes instantly landed on you, and just as he was about to speak, his gaze then shifted on to Jaehyun who sat very close beside you, his gaze immediately hardening at the sight of him.

“H-Hey,” you quickly stood up from the couch, Jaehyun following. “Didn’t know you were coming home tonight.”

Jungkook’s glaring eyes remained on Jaehyun as he asked you, “Where’s Minho?”

“He’s with my eomma.” You answered, playing with your fingers anxiously while staring down at the ground, distancing yourself from Jaehyun. His tone was dark, angry almost. “Tonight’s date night.”

Instantly, you noticed Jungkook tense up. Every now and then, your mother would come take Minho for the night, allowing you and Jungkook to have the rest of day for yourselves, saying how having days together can go a long way in a marriage. But you and Jungkook haven’t been on a date in half a year.

“I-I should go.” Jaehyun awkwardly spoke up, clearing his throat and grabbing his suit’s jacket that was draped over the couch.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” You agreed, guiding him towards the front door. Jungkook’s eyes never left Jaehyun as you bid him goodbye, not missing the way you smiled at him or how your eyes briefly scanned his strong figure.

The moment you closed the door, your heart sunk to your chest. Turning around, you were met with Jungkook’s burning eyes. He was angry, furious even. And you knew exactly why.

Jeon Jungkook hated Jung Jaehyun with every fiber and bone in his body.

~ shit’s about to go down in the next chapter!

TAGLIST:

@xworldwidecutieguyx​, @yoongis-soulmate​, @jikookvfans​, @heartfeltscribblings​, @chrissfuk​, @blazedprince​, @btsfaris​, @sonderkook​, @rspctot7​, @http-je0n​, @magic-fox-555​, @moonfairyjoon​, @taozibun1​, @ephemeralkookie​, @thesquiglybumblebee​, @httpjazel​, @justqueerandhereforthetea​, @dreamer95​, @--xxchrissyxx--,

[whentherewerebicycles]

life updates:

I was worried about a kid who had totally dropped off the map in May but we just reconnected and had a great meeting about next steps for her project. I think that just as I had to fall out of love with Austin for a little while to make it ok to leave, I also had to fall out of love with my old job for a couple weeks so I could get excited about new ones. but I spent a big chunk of time yesterday doing detailed planning for program wrap-up and setting up meetings with the kids who wanted to keep working on projects over the summer. I want to make sure I’m doing right by them and giving us all good closure on the mentoring relationship!!

I wrote the two surprise essays this morning (it took the whole morning as anticipated sigh) and applied for that job. it was annoying but I did a good job of shepherding myself briskly through it and not letting myself obsess over making the essays perfect. I kinda hate DEI essays because I feel like the prompts can be so “tell us about your heroic commitment to Diversity!”, and I find it tricky to fulfill the genre expectation of the job letter (center your initiative and showcase your skills!) without it feeling white savior-y. I also hate it when they ask you “tell a story about a time…” because if you tell a student story it feels like you’re using your relationship with a student to get professional points, which is very icky to me! but I wrestled with it and wound up writing a long thing about what designing for equity looks like in my work, and also about how I use that kind of systems-level design thinking to at least partially mitigate unconscious bias in cross-racial mentoring. I feel like I conveyed a clear sense of my values & my practice without using students as props in a DEI statement. so that’s good! I’m happy with that work.

I just got a swift desk rejection for a higher-up position in the same university system… like a 24-hour turnaround lol. but it’s kind of a relief to have the first “no” out of the way!! and the job was a serious reach so I don’t feel crushed by it either lol.

I have COVID I think 😔 I spent part of of the 4th with Michelle and she tested positive yesterday. I woke up with a sore throat this morning and have a heavy/congested feeling in my chest, plus just general light malaise. I’m testing negative on rapid tests but I think those are basically useless if you’re not ragingly symptomatic so I’m quarantining anyway and will get a PCR tomorrow if I can. it’s not too bad yet. Liz said day 1 wasn’t awful for her but days 2-4 were real rough.

since I might be quite sick soon I think I am going to try to get one more job app today? I’ll take a look at my list and see if there’s anything easy. then: vacation from job stuff.

[amarantine-amirite]

It's Not Up To You

I never once had any peace or rest. There was a persistent threat that resources and places would vanish without a trace. Even though I never got my ass handed to me daily, I could never anticipate when I would be able to catch my breath.  

I had to adapt. I had to be able to alter my expectations faster than the circumstances would change. It forced me to abandon having a set image of what I want in my mind. It took away my ability to visualize. I had to anticipate resources disappearing in the future, so I had a hard time with long-term planning.  

Going into the week, I had it all figured out. I had found an iron-clad way for me to have my cake and eat it too. It may not have been ideal, but at least I still had the resources available.

My mother planned to drive me to my piano concert. Because she had a stressful day at work yesterday, she went to the bar. She neither came home nor returned any of my calls, so I assumed she was either crazy hungover or still passed out. I now had to hitch a ride with Jackie and her sister, Henrietta.  

Henrietta drove like she had lead feet. “Uh, Ettie,” Jackie asked, “you just blew through a traffic light at” 

“Don’t tell me how fast I’m going; I need to know where I am!” she snapped. 

“Can we at least stop and get lunch?” I asked. I last ate at 7:00 AM. Bad things happen when I try to function on an empty stomach. My temper gets worse. My impulse control goes to Hell. I bounce off the walls.  

“Hell, no!” Henrietta snarled, “If we stop to eat, we’ll get stuck in a traffic snarl!”

“OK, what’s your problem?” I whined. I had no idea why Henrietta got so upset. 

Henrietta sighed angrily. “Do you wanna know why I’m so fucking pissed off?" she barked, "Those fuckers moved up my fucking interview by a fucking week. I was supposed to get married today! All that money I spent on the venue, the photographer, the catering; that’s money I’m never going to see again!” 

I don’t know how Henrietta could say that without bursting into tears. “And what about Jasper? He’s going to think I broke off the wedding because I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I’m worried. He doesn’t handle rejection well. What if he tries to kill himself again?” 

What happened next felt like being in the desert and coming upon an oasis, only to discover it’s a mirage. When we arrived at our destination, everything went up in smoke. Before we left, Henrietta told me that she would drop us off first, then head to the interview. She looked at us and said, “Nobody's leaving until I finish my interview. Understand?” 

I nodded. Inside, I wanted to smack her. Hard.

Today has been nothing but hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. I fucking hate being jerked around like this. The constant stop-and-start made me feel like someone drained of my life force. I can’t deal with it anymore. 

Jackie and I came up with a plan. The plan was simple, like Henrietta’s would-be husband, Jasper. Unlike Jasper, the plan stood a chance of working. When they let her in to do the interview, Jackie and I would duck out and go to my piano concert. We’d come back when I finished my set, and that’d be that.

Problem. We made a huge tactical error. 

It’s a long story. At the beginning of the school year, the cheerleaders thought it would be funny to nominate Anna Rose, the head of the chess club, for prom queen as a joke. Anna didn’t know about this, but the principal did. On Halloween night, we got something really scary in our inboxes: an official email with the school's letterhead saying that due to “bullying", prom would be permanently cancelled until measurable snowfall in July. A lot of the anxieties that kids channel into what they’re going to do at their prom got redirected elsewhere. 

The kids at school got offended. By everything. Like, a lot.

Remember how I said that school has been so hard for me because I have no idea what to expect? Well, this piano concert thing was a perfect example. I had to make a list of not just one song, but for possible songs that I could play at this concert. I need to be ready to switch out songs in case the band teacher changed his mind. He always did stuff like that. One day, you could pick whatever song you wanted for school concerts, and the next, they would say that it had to come from a pre-approved list. So that meant I had no idea what song I was going to play. When people asked me, the best I could say was, "I’ve got a lineup." Lineup was not a good choice of words; a better choice of words would have been revolving door .

This brings us to our mistake: the same reason that I had to keep a revolving door of songs in my mind for the concert was also the same reason why we should have called the hotel where the concert was to be held ahead of time to double-check to see if the school had not cancelled it. We did not do that.

That brings us to right now. We are smack dab in the middle of what appears to be a campus recruitment event. Everyone in the room except for us is wearing cheap suits that fit somebody else, nobody looks familiar, and the atmosphere consists of a general air of anxiety and lack of preparedness.

Five minutes after we arrived, a woman wearing a pantsuit that made her look like a pool table, pineapple earrings, and a name tag that read “Megan Mulroney“ approached us. “Excuse me, ladies," she said, “are you students at The Fletcher School?”

“No, we go to Arthur Vandelay high school," Jackie said, “I’m here with Margaret because she’s got a piano concert to go to.” 

I stood up and looked at Megan. “So is that in the Gold room, because I got a copy of the flyer here and it says Hall B, and I don’t know where that is, and…”

Megan cut us off. “I don't know what you’re talking about,” she said.

I handed Megan the flyer. “I’m talking about this.”

She didn’t look at the flyer. She gave it right back to me. “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but that’s a piece of blank paper." 

“It’s not blank!” I chirped. 

“Yes, it is; and I don’t appreciate you wasting my time like this.“

“We’re not wasting your time.”

“Well then, why am I dealing with two overdressed high school idiots when I have new grads to check in for a networking event?” she said, doing her best impression of a bratty 12-year-old.

“Why are you so stubborn?”

Megan shrugged at us and rolled her eyes in a cocky fashion. “I'm not stubborn all the time. I'm only stubborn when I’m right.” 

Big red flag. If someone says I'm only stubborn when I'm right , it means they're putting up a front, either because they don't want to but they're wrong or they're trying to bullshit you. 

She continued to puff herself out. “Listen, you’re not special. What happens to you happens to other people, too.”

“Not helpful,” I said as I rolled my eyes.  

She shrugged her shoulders. “Well, sorry you feel that way.”

“What does that even mean?” I blurted.  

She ignored us. Rather than explain what was going on, she instead attempted to have phone sex with Idris Elba and got the wrong number.

It didn’t stop there. One look out the window told me we’d have to get someone else to pick us up, as Henrietta got arrested. I’m guessing she found out that the job she applied for was posted as an April Fool’s Day joke and she either trashed the office or beat the crap out of the hiring manager. Based on the black eye, I think it was the second thing. 

Terrific. Now we have no plan, no ride home, and no idea what the fuck is supposed to happen next. 

I’m devastated. I feel gutted. But beyond that, I'm spooked.

This isn't something you'd consider typically scary. It felt like that last photo taken before a disaster. This looming sense that something catastrophic is coming down the pike continues to hang over me.

@writers-are-writers

[exauhstedsunflower]

I Am Very Proud Of You

For @cynicalrainbows, a one shot featuring the idea that Catalina feels left out of mom!Jane’s pride in her so called kids.

This got long.

It’s been a while since the queens have reincarnated. They’ve long since passed most of their personal issues. They even settled in nicely to the current century. Anne and Kitty got jobs, working in a flower shop just down the road. Anna has picked up several volunteer shifts at a local animal shelter. Cathy is a tutor for adults at the neighborhood library. And Catalina works at a daycare, decidedly liking modern day kids over modern day adults. (They have all of the curiosity and none of the disbelief in her legitimacy as a former queen of England.)

And Jane, well, Jane is a stay at home mother. Kind of.

They live in the suburbs in a place where cost of living is pretty low, Kitty, Anne and Catalina make enough to cover their more indulgent purchases. Whereas the rest is covered by some anonymous donor, who they think is the reason they are even alive. There is no reason for Jane to have to get a job herself. Not to say she doesn’t have hobbies, she does occasionally visit the local art supplies stores, and sometimes she goes to the animal shelter with Anna. But she does actually prefer to stay home as an introvert.

As she does stay home most of the time, she takes up most of the household chores. She cleans, she cooks, she makes sure that there is order where there would normally be chaos. This also means that she’s taken on the more maternal place in the house. The others rely on her, whether they were reluctant to in the beginning or not.

Her biggest maternal habit is validating the other queens. She spent a lot of time in her last life being put down- they all had. The least she can do whilst being the glue that keeps their little family together is to make sure they all know they are doing great given the circumstances.

It’s a rather chaotic morning, she’s been running around like crazy. They all have, but her in particular trying to get everyone ready for the day.

“Jane!”

That’s Anne, upstairs and probably looking for her jacket, which is hanging on the end of the railing at the lower level.

“Down here love, come and get your jacket before you and Kitty are late!”

She speeds down, almost crashing into Anna, who’s rifling through her bag with a piece of toast in her mouth. When she asks what the woman is looking for, she seems to forget about the toast. Jane reaches out and catches it in a moment of astounding reflexes.

“Ah! Don’t get crumbs all over my carpet, please.”

“Sorry! Have you seen my-“

“Jane! I can’t find my-“

“Kitty! I found-“

“Cathy, you-!”

Jane snorts, leave it to those two to have half conversations and still understand each other.

“What is it, Anna?”

She snaps back to attention, having been distracted by the yelling upstairs. Impressive how those two have the capacity to be that loud given the way they haven’t slept in two days. Yes, Jane knows. And yes, Jane will be intervening if they try to make it a third.

“My wallet, I can’t find my wallet.”

“Have you checked the hoodie you wore yesterday?”

“Shi- Crap,” Anna quickly corrects herself in Jane’s presence, “I forgot about that, let me check.”

She races off to check the coat closet, which is where she’s stuck most of her hoodies in an attempt for space in her own closet.

It doesn’t take long for Jane to find something else to focus on. Anne is currently making an attempt to find her snack pack for the day. Now, this is something that unlike what you might think, is not Jane’s doing. She does not pack lunches and snacks for the women in the house, if they want that they can do so themselves. Jane places Anna’s toast on a paper towel and decides to help.

“Isn’t it in the lower cabinet? Could’ve sworn you all changed where you keep them.”

“Oh! We did!

She finds her bag, likely filled with sweets, and stuffs the sandwich she was making and a water bottle into it. Then she does the same for the three others.

“Oh, you’re making lunch for everyone.” She observes.

“Yeah, everyone’s running a bit late this morning and I’m ready. So, might as well.”

Jane smiles, “I’m proud of you. That’s really sweet.”

Anne immediately flushes and thanks her bashfully, she never did get used to the praise.

Kitty then runs into the room, claiming she is ready to go.

Her outfit is a little different today. But, also, Kitty’s outfits are always a little different. Today it’s red lumberjack pattern leggings and a green sweater. There are several silver accessories that compliment her choker with a silver ‘K’ charm hanging off of it. Her hair is in a messy bun, unlike yesterday when it was straightened.

“Jeez kid, is it Christmas already?”

Jane rolls her eyes at Anne’s comment. “I think you look cute, good job Kit.”

The girl beams at the compliment. Her sense of style has been a way of expressing autonomy, a way of showing that she has full control over her body. Jane is incredibly proud that the girl has found something to help her deal with her past trauma in a healthy way. Even if it means questionable but admittedly cute fashion choices.

Cathy and Anna pass by Jane, grabbing their lunches with a quick thanks to Anne. Anna is holding her wallet, so Jane supposes it was in fact in the pocket of her hoodie. Cathy grabs a to-go cup and fills it with coffee.

“Cathy, thank you for being the only one to not scream for me this morning. I’m proud. But have we got any sugar for your coffee?”

Jane doesn’t remember buying any, but she does recall running out yesterday.

“I picked some up on the way home, it’s in the top left cabinet.” Anna supplies.

“That’s great, Anna. Thank you.” Jane is using her Proud Mom Voice. Anna also gets a lot of praise from Cathy, who forgot to buy more and was about to have to drink bitter coffee. (Not that she would have minded, but she prefers it to be a bit sweeter during the day. Black coffee is for night time.) She also smiles at Jane for her comment on her independence.

With the coffee made, and everything needed for the day found, it’s time for them all to head out. Anne and Kitty can walk, and Anna drives Cathy to the library on her way to the shelter. Sometimes Jane walks with her cousins to the shop. She’ll pick up a bouquet for the house or a new plant for the garden and that’ll give her something to do for about a half hour of being home. But today she’s not feeling up for the walk, even if it is just down the road.

She does a headcount of everyone and mentally goes through the list of things to be done in the mornings. Everyone’s lunches are made. Anne and her things, Kitty and her choker, Anna and her bag, Cathy and her coffee, Catalina-

Catalina isn’t down yet. She drives the other car, so it’s not much of a hold up for the rest. They all attempt to grab something small to eat to take with them as Jane wonders where the oldest queen is.

Her relationship with Catalina is a little different. Catalina’s the oldest, the most regal and independent, she doesn’t need a mother. And while Jane has proudly claimed the mom friend title, she doesn’t want to cross any boundaries.

Of course she still checks in on her every once in a while, but she’s not as forthcoming in the mothering with her. They both seem rather content with the arrangement, seeing as they’re both the more mature one’s in the house. They tend to be the one taking care of the others, not being taken care of.

Just as Jane is about to check in to make sure Catalina is alright, the woman arrives amongst the rest. She looks a little happier than usual.

“Sorry for the hold up, I was caught up doing something.”

Jane’s about to ask what, but Cathy beats her to it.

“Oh, it’s nothing really. Just finished applying for that child care class.”

Everyone cheers. That’s something Catalina’s been putting off for a while now. She hasn’t done it yet in fear of being rejected or putting herself in a situation she’s not prepared for.

But this is a great step! Because Catalina’s end goal is to open her own daycare center, and having the credentials to back it is super helpful. And she’s already flushed at the reaction that she got, so maybe that's why when Jane places a hand on her arm and says she’s proud of her, Catalina freezes.

It was an instinct, honest. She’d never do that on purpose, it's quite honestly probably a little patronizing to the woman she holds in such high regard. It’s just that she’s been praising all of the rest of the queens all morning and she’s still in that mindset.

She pulls her hand away slowly, and Catalina shakes her head as if she’s trying to clear some thoughts, and they move on.

“Right, so, everyone out! You’ll all be late at this rate.”

Jane herds the rest to the door, seeing Catalina linger for a moment. But she catches Jane's eye and seems to brace herself before walking toward the door herself. Jane does not ask if she’s okay, she doesn’t want to overstep again.

“You all got ready and you’ll probably be on time! Great job, love you all, see you later!”

She gets a chorus of “Bye Mum!” back from all except one. A common joke among the queens, based on her role in the house. It honestly fills her with pride though, so she never refutes the moniker.

Jane tries to catch Catalina on her way out to wish her a good day; but the woman dodges her and races to her own car, leaving Jane worried she offended her friend.

-

Catalina presses submit and leans back in her chair with a deep breath. This is a big step for her. It’s a good thing, but it’s also a commitment. It does help with her long term plans though, so she’s willing to do it.

The class would only take her seven months to complete, and it’s all something she’s invested in, it shouldn't be this scary to start. But it is, and she can’t help but resent that she has no support.

She shakes that thought away as soon as it comes. Of course she has support. The queens are very supportive. She knows that when she tells them she finally applied they’ll all be very happy for her.

Happy, not proud.

She shouldn’t feel that way. She should be happy that she’s been given this second chance, happy that she’s able to spend it with her loving family. And she is! But she can’t help but feel slightly excluded.

“Jane!”

Catalina has half a mind to tell them to leave the poor woman alone. They’ve been calling for her all morning. But she does seem to enjoy that they need her so.

“Down here love, come and get your jacket before you and Kitty are late!”

“Jane! I can’t find-“

“Kitty, I found-“

She could never call for Jane like that. It’s more than likely she’d be judged for it. No, she’s independent. She’s the oldest, she doesn’t need Jane to take care of her. And honestly she does prefer to take care of herself. It’s not that that bothers her though.

It’s just that Jane always seems proud. Consistently, someone in the house is making her proud. Whether it be something small, like making a phone call; or something big, like getting their licenses. Jane always finds something to be proud of when it comes to all of the queens.

All except Catalina.

She’s honestly tried everything. She’s done the small things like make a big deal out of something menial and then finally doing it, to no avail.

(“Catalina, weren’t you supposed to make that call three days ago?”

Catalina bites her lip, hoping.

“Yeah, but it was making me nervous so I kept putting it off.”

That’s not even a lie. Catalina does in fact have a bit of anxiety surrounding phone calls. But usually she'd rather die than admit a fear. She hopes to receive some sort of reassurance out of this, as she’d had a rough week and this was pretty difficult. But instead she gets a frown.

“You shouldn’t put stuff like that off. If you need help with a phone call just ask.”)

Then she tried acting out, which truthfully made her feel quite childish and stupid. It didn’t work like it seems to work for Kitty or Anne, who Jane seems to have a soft spot for. But they’re family, Catalina reminds herself, real family.

(“I don’t wanna.”

Jane furrows her eyebrows, “What do you mean you don’t want to? You’ve been asking to cook this for weeks! I even set aside the ingredients.”

“Well, I changed my mind. I’m not cooking.”

She doesn’t get a gentle goading into whatever it is she changed her mind about suddenly, like Cathy or Anna would. No, this bout of unnecessary refusal to help out with dinner just lands her in hot water with Jane, who was already feeling a little stressed.

“All I ask is-“

Jane’s rant lasted about thirty minutes, and Catalina felt much like a child who was chided for disobedience all night.)

Needless to say, although she does acknowledge it in her head, Jane does not care for Catalina in the way she cares for the others. They do have a friendship, but Catalina does not receive the same type of love.

And it’s fine, totally fine.

Just that Catalina doesn’t quite want to face Jane this morning. Because she just did something really significant and if she has to face being treated unequal to the others when she mentions it she might have to go back to bed.

But she is happy she’s done it now. It’s like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders, she’s been putting this off for so long now that she’d never thought she would do it. One of the other daycare workers had convinced her yesterday to do it as soon as she got home, and she put it off until this morning. She couldn’t just go into work and face that person saying she didn’t do it, could she? And so she did.

With that sudden burst of happiness after her anxiety, she prepares to face the chaos waiting for her downstairs. She’s already heard them all congregate to the kitchen, maybe she can grab a pop tart before leaving.

“Cathy, thank you for being the only one to not scream for me this morning. I’m proud. But have we got any sugar for your coffee?”

“I picked some up on the way home, it’s in the top left cabinet.”

“That’s great, Anna. Thank you.”

So, Jane’s in a praising mood this morning. Great.

She walks briskly into the kitchen and moves toward the counter that holds her lunch bag, thanking Anne for packing it this morning. As she does this she apologizes for holding them all up, they’re clearly all ready to go. She hopes they haven’t been waiting long.

“What were you doing?”

She glances at Cathy, then starts rifling through her pockets again to find her keys. She’s looked for her keys three times now, she knows she has them, but it’s something to focus on.

“Oh, it’s nothing really.” She tries to sound nonchalant as she says it. “Just finished applying for that child care class.”

Nothing could have prepared her for the cheers that sound through the room. Everyone seems so happy for her. And Catalina herself is really excited, so it’s nice. It’s nice to feel people being happy for her, even if she’s not making anyone proud.

Kitty hugs her, Anna starts talking about the future plans to own a daycare that they can all help with, Cathy congratulates her since she knew how hard it was for Catalina to make that step. Even Anne is smiling at her and pitching ideas for Anna to shoot down.

And then, Catalina’s heart stops.

Jane puts a hand on her arm, like she’s seen the woman do to every other person in the house, and tells her she’s proud. She even looks like she means it, for a moment.

Catalina can’t possibly respond, as she’s never had to respond to that before. She’s been trying to make it happen, but she hadn’t thought this far ahead. She just freezes and stands still, eyes wide with surprise and slight hope. And then Jane looks slightly regretful, and it’s enough to kill her mood completely.

Of course it was habitual, she’s been telling people she’s proud all morning. But she doesn’t act like that with Catalina. It wasn’t on purpose.

“Right, everyone out!” Catalina doesn’t hear the rest of what Jane says as she withdraws her hand. Everyone makes their way out of the front door and says their goodbyes. And once Catalina regains her ability to move, she quickly dodges Jane’s special not caring goodbye to her and practically runs to her car.

Her drive to the daycare usually takes about twenty minutes, it’s not unusual for her to arrive early to help set up. On days like today, where everyone is running late, she gets there with enough time to at least say hello to everyone before they open. But today is a special case. This particular morning, Catalina pulls into the parking lot of a convenience store/gas station and doesn’t care if she’s going to be late.

Hands shaking, she takes the key out of the ignition and stares into space. Jane said she’s proud of her. Not only that, but Catalina ruined it by freezing up. Maybe she wouldn’t have looked so apprehensive and regretful if Catalina had reacted better. Damn.

She tries to recall something to make her feel better. Something to make her at least stable enough to drive. A memory from her maids as a child or something funny from this life, anything at all. But as she goes through her head all she can find is that she can’t remember the last time someone was proud of her.

That may have been the first time in either of her lives that anyone has ever told her so.

She takes a deep breath. She needs to stop being so weird about it. It was out of habit, a lapse in character. It’s not as if Jane actually meant anything by it; Catalina should stop thinking about it. Her heart should stop its longing, she’s a grown woman. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t have that kind of relationship with Jane, they’re still good friends. She doesn’t need Jane to feel that way about her.

God, she wishes that circle of thinking actually worked.

-

Jane worries. It’s something very known about her. If there was three things that signified Mom Friend to the group, it was her mom-like pride in her family, her hugs (which are soft,warm and inviting to all.), and her ability to inexplicably worry like no other.

Sometimes she frets over the other queens safety. Like when Kitty had wanted to go skydiving and brought Anna with her. Sometimes it’s at night time when she hears walking around. Although when that happens she can usually keep herself in bed if she hears more than one person up at a time. Today, she’s worried over if she’s just ruined her perfectly good friendship with Catalina.

She has so much respect for the woman, Jane would never intentionally cause her to feel uncomfortable. If only she’d just thought it through a bit more. Catalina clearly didn’t want the attention. But all Jane could think is that she was just so proud. Catalina’s been putting that off for so long now, Jane was so relieved to see it happen.

And now she’s alone, which doesn’t stop her worrying.

If anything being alone makes it worse, because now she’s overthinking what the woman's reaction could have possibly meant for them. Is she going to distance herself now? Will she be upset with Jane for accidentally being condescending? She would have every right to be indignant, Catherine of Aragon does not need to hear the praises of Jane, her former Lady In Waiting.

It’s been no more than thirty minutes since the others have left for the day, and Jane has already driven herself mad with anxiety. She tires to hum as she tidies the living room, only to feel herself becoming too impatient with the tasks. Then she attempted to watch TV, but ultimately could not focus. It seems today is a job for a bit of a more heavy duty distraction. Usually she’d work in the yard, but the hum of nature might hut more than help in the focusing department today. So, she picks up her most recent embroidery project and heads off to her bedroom.

She settles in, ready for a long day of avoiding her own thoughts. But the door downstairs opens, pulling her from her work immediately.

Who on earth could that be?

She opens her door and peers down the stairs, thankful that the location of her room allows her to see. Hopefully it’s not a burglar, Jane thinks she couldn’t handle that stress today. Not when she’d dealt with anxiety from yet another harrowing social interaction. Even with the queens, she finds a way to mess up. And they wonder why she’s an introvert.

The person who has entered their home starts coming up the stairs, and she sees. It’s only Catalina. Her heart slows in relief for a moment, before she remembers that Catalina is part of why she’s worrying. Then it shoots right back to the pace it was at before. Jane doesn’t close the door, she just makes eye contact with her and offers a smile.

“What happened with work?”

Catalina’s eyes flash an unfamiliar emotion before settling into a passive stare.

“Not feeling up to it today. I called out half way there.”

Now, usually Jane would rush to her fellow queens aid. But after this morning she doesn’t want to seem overbearing, so she stays rooted to her spot and keeps her tone even.

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

-

“Is there anything I can do for you?”

If Catalina were anyone else, Jane would be running to help. She’d probably insist on calling a doctor and rush her to bed before even hearing what’s wrong. Then she’d endure the jokes at her expense for the overreaction.

But Catalina for some reason is not the same, so Jane does not act like that with her.

“No, I’m just going to lie down.”

Jane nods, and closes her door. Apparently not seeing the dejection emanating from the other woman’s very posture.

Catalina seriously just needs to make peace with the fact that she isn’t one of the others. She’s a part of the family, but she’ll never be in with them. If she made peace with this, maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much when the examples of her isolation are so plain to see.

Instead of continuing to sulk in front of Jane’s door like a child, Catalina goes to her bedroom to sulk in her own space.

-

Catalina’s home.

Catalina is home, and Jane is so sure now that she’s made things weird. They can hardly make eye contact with each other.

She sits back down and aggressively picks up her embroidery project. Focus, focus, focus, focus! Her mind drifts back and forth between her hands moving swiftly through a stitch and her possible damaged friendship with Catalina. She should apologize, she won’t be leaving to focus until she-

Jane is abruptly pulled out of her thoughts by a subtle knock on her door. She knows Catalina is the only other queen home, but she can’t help but think that the knock is similar to Kitty’s on a bad day.

“Come in.”

The door opens slightly, and the woman on the other side ones her head in, “Jane?”

“Yes?”

There’s a hesitation, which is probably because Jane has made things irrecoverably weird between them. But eventually after her mental deliberation Catalina steps all the way into the room and softly closes the door behind herself.

When she doesn't speak right away, Jane moves her stuff off of the bed and invites her to sit. After Cataina’s sitting, they both make an attempt to start the conversation.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-“

“Thank you for saying you’re proud of me-“

They both stop and stare, wide eyed.

“What-“

“Why would you have made me-“

“I just thought-“

“No! Never, I-“

“We’ve just been such good friends-“

“Yes! And so that was nice to hear-“

Jane looks at Catalina, astounded. Had she really been happy about the praise? She says so, but she seemed so put off by it before.

“Then why did you react like it was wrong?” She questions.

She watches Catalina take a breath before providing her own explanation.

“It just caught me off guard is all. You don’t really tend to say things like that to me.”

“I mean, I never thought you’d need it.”

-

Catalina’s knee jerk reaction is to say she doesn’t. But then she stops herself. If this conversation is going to be productive at all, she needs to be honest.

“It’s nice to hear every once in a while, though.”

Jane looks surprised by the admission, as if Catalina has just told her a secret.

“I always thought it would make you uncomfortable.” She murmurs back, although now she sounds like she’s back in her head.

Catalina gulps, now or never.

“I’ve actually been wanting to hear it.” She admits before she can stifle herself.

The other woman is still absolutely shocked; and if at all possible, her eyes get wider.

“What?” Jane stammers out in disbelief. Catalina kind of wants the floor to open up and swallow her.

“Not to sound needy or anything!” She rushes. “It’s just that you say stuff like that to the others all of the time, and this is the first time you’ve said it to me! And so I got excited but I knew it was just you saying it out of habit so I didn’t respond.”

“-Well I would have said it more often to you if I’d known!”

“But you didn’t know-“

“I was trying to respect your boundaries-“

“I get that, nothing has to change either-“

“Hell yes it does!”

Now it’s Catalina’s turn to be wide eyed in surprise. She’s never heard Jane sound so indignant before.

“You’ve- what? Been thinking I’m just, not proud of you? This whole time?” There’s a sense of urgency in the defensive nature of her voice. She needs to know the answer to these questions. So Catalina answers truthfully.

“Well, yes? And you certainly don’t have to be. I’m a grown woman, I don’t need to hear that you’re proud of me all of the time.”

She didn’t realize she’d been looking away until Jane grabbed her arm. It’s a soft touch, reminiscent of the way she held it this morning. When she meets Jane’s eyes all she sees is warmth.

“Catalina, I am so, so proud of you. Every day.”

Catalina opens her mouth to protest, but Jane speaks again before she can.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been showing it properly. I thought that you’d be uncomfortable if I treated you the same as everyone else. I have too much respect for you to do that.”

Oh.

“I’ll say it more, now that I know you’re okay with it. Alright?”

Catalina can hardly nod, overcome with an indescribable emotion. All she knows is that she feels warm.

They lapse into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. They are good friends after all. Enjoying being around each other is the basis of their friendship, actually.

“Hey, Jane?”

“Yes?”

“You know, calling out is really stressful.” She observes.

Jane’s eyes light up in recognition, “Ah, yes. What with them asking you questions and your phone anxiety. I imagine it’s very difficult for you.”

She nods bashfully, hopeful once again.

“Well, dear, I am very proud of you.”