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#i also ordered food but i may have been too late
altruistic-meme · 11 months
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my poor rice :(
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lixie-phoria · 9 months
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bff!stray kids and the little things they do when they have a crush on you
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pairing : stray kids x reader | genre : fluff | warnings : none
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🧿 ┆ CHAN - he stalks your pinterest saves to see your latest interests
He doesn't do it in a creepy way, i promise. he just likes to go through your latest pins and find out what you're into and surprise you without you even having to tell him!! He spoils you so much :(( You recently saved a really cute fit inspo? He's going to order it for you. Saw you saving pins of pretty bouquets? You'll find the very same one in his hands as he picks you up from work. This man is such a sweetheart you're so lucky.
🧿┆ LEE KNOW - purposely forget his hoodies and tshirts at your place so you can wear them
Is it really an accident that he forgot his hoodie at your house for the fifteenth time even after you reminded him multiple times? Of course! Or at least that's what minho insists. He's never going to tell you that he intentionally forgets them at your place because it gives you an excuse to wear it. he will never tell you how delusional he is and how much it plays into his fantasies of you dating him when he sees you in his clothes. He's such a simp lmao please.
🧿 ┆ CHANGBIN - will buy anything that reminds him of you
He misses you so much on tour and can't stop thinking about you :(( even the smallest objects remind him of you. He goes to a beach in Australia and sees a shell whose colors match those of a really pretty dress you have? He's going to take it without a second thought, somehow managing to make a hole in it and looping an expensive chain through it because the shell may be simple but he loves spoiling you rotten with expensive gifts too. He sees a potted plant in some foreign country that looks somewhat like the one you have at your place? Of course he's going to buy it. Please don't ask him how he plans on getting it through airport security. He's too busy thinking about you to worry about all that!!
🧿 ┆ HYUNJIN - he lets only you paint his nails and do his make up!!
He's going to be sooo whiny as you drag him into the cosmetics store at the mall but anyone can see the stars in his eyes as he looks at your excited smile. The second you're in he's going to be all over the place, picking out items he thinks would go well with your features. And if you want to try out any of the products, he's offering himself before you can even pick the samples. Loves to have you paint his nails, try a new shade of lip gloss on his skin or the texture of a new blush. he will do anything for you. he does not care about the looks he gets as he proudly walks around with all 10 finger nails painted in mismatched colours.
🧿 ┆ HAN - He always let's you have the first bite of food
lover boy is so whipped i cannot stress enough. whenever you guys go on dates hang out, he purposely orders a starter he knows you like and insists you have the first bite. always. if you accompany him on set he remembers to carry snacks so he can share them with you and fights any member who tries to take some hahaha
🧿 ┆ FELIX - always takes your input when getting ready for a comeback
you see all those funky hair colors felix sports every comeback and pulls them off every single time? yeah thats all you. never once has he failed to ask you what colors you'd like to see him in. and he won't listen to you complain about how it might potentially damage his hair. you want to see him in blue? he's already texting his hair stylist l. you've been into purple lately? he's already discussing the different shades with you. it's so sweet and he loves it when he can finally show you the new look.
🧿 ┆ SEUNGMIN - "accidentally" takes your stuff so it gives him an excuse to drop it off at your place and see you
seungmin being upfront about his crush on you? of course not. he's such a baby lmao will never have the courage to tell you but he also doesn't know how to explain why he always wants to be around you. so he comes up with a (supposedly) fool proof plan!! he takes your stuff whenever you guys hang out so it gives him an excuse to come over and give it you later on. if you're ever missing a clutch clip or your lip gloss best believe he has it. and watch him laugh it off as an accident. he gets so embarrassed when the other 7 see right through him hahaha but he'd rather be teased because its worth seeing you
🧿 ┆ JEONGIN - aggressively confesses his love for you
he's so adorable. he isn't really sure how to navigate your relationship because its all so new to him but he also wants you to know that he genuinely likes you. so he sticks to saying i-love-you's at the most random times and so aggressively it nearly scared you the first time. so many of his good morning texts read along the lines of good morning i hope you're up or i will splash water down your pretty face. don't forget breakfast because it's important for you. if you forget it, i will fight you. i love you 😠😠😠😠 but once you catch on it's obviously got you giggling and blushing because it's such a jeongin thing to do and honestly how could you not fall for him when he's just awkwardly trying to confess how much he's in love with you
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tags : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)
©lixie-phoria, 2023
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lucyandthepen · 8 months
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last young renegade | jjh
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summary: your valentine’s day plans with jaehyun may have gone down the drain just a little. (okay — a lot.)
pairing: jaehyun x reader verse: canon, idol!verse rating: t warnings&tags: reader & jaehyun are in an established relationship, quite frankly there is nothing too out of the ordinary in this fic which is a shocker, it’s a rewritten fic so pls excuse any errors I may not have caught! word count: 5.02k
a/n: happy 2024 friends and family !!!!!! and advanced happy birthday to the man who created valentine’s day, he who is perhaps my first love in nct, jaehyun! this is actually just a fic I’ve been hoping to re-write a bit from before, and since it’s valentine’s themed, what better time to post it!! Enjoy enjoy, and may this year bring more fun, laughs, love (and debauchery) to this blog!
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Yᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ sɪᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏғ ɪᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ, ɴɪɢʜᴛ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴀʏ.
♡ jaehyunnie ♡ I know I said birthday dinner but practice is running so late ㅠㅠ ♡ jaehyunnie ♡ Can we meet after? I’m sorry ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ How about I call you when we’re done? Maybe 11:30?
At times like this, you often wonder if it’s all worth it.  
You know thinking that way is counterproductive, not to mention a little unfair. You knew exactly what to expect, getting into an under-wraps relationship with an idol, and so far, it’s lived up to most of your assumptions, and then some. It doesn’t help that Jaehyun, even just by name, tends to attract an unbelievable amount of attention. You know you can’t blame him; it’s not like he wants to be high on the radar every time, either. For some reason, though, you seem to be looking for something or someone to blame, which you also know is a dead end. You have no one to pin the blame onto apart from yourself by frequently generating doubts that keep your mind running around in circles.  
It’s not even the sneaking around that gets tiring; it’s the waiting — waiting on calls, waiting on free time, waiting on a good opportunity to do something that doesn’t involve him suddenly getting pulled out to attend to one of many of his celebrity responsibilities. Over the last few years that you’ve dated, NCT has only ever gotten more popular; with that popularity came the fact that the public eye was trained on them, focusing on every microscopic detail of their lives. Jaehyun hates that more than anything, which is why he’s given up on trying to avoid it by practically escaping it altogether, locking himself up in the dorm with you when he has his precious few days off. 
While it’s true that you definitely don’t miss having to play espionage when going out for a cup of coffee with him, you’ve also managed to memorize every single inch of Jaehyun’s room, which isn’t good for your mentality, you’re pretty sure. You have to keep reminding him to open the window whenever the both of you are in there, because all you do is stay in and watch English movies without subtitles to see who can understand the most without asking questions (obviously, he always wins) while eating food he runs up and down the stairs to get every other hour. And while him trying to imitate the British accents on these shows is genuinely funny, you’re starting to suspect even he’s starting to get tired of watching Harry Potter over and over again. Twenty hours sounds like a long time unless you spend every twenty-hour period you have together marathoning the exact same films. Much to both of your disappointment, your suggestion to watch it totally out of order did not make it cooler.
Still, you suppose it’s not all bad. Jaehyun also taught you how to play Fortnite on a couple of his days off back to back, and while you hadn’t been as good a player as you both had hoped, he’d still patiently waited for you every time you got lost on the map. He’d even given you his account’s password with the sentiment that this was him ‘taking things to the next level with you,’ and you get to log into his account and play whenever you want; he doesn’t even get mad when you’ve wasted all the stuff he’s farmed on your subpar gaming skills. And, well, the bigger picture was that you loved him. Based on how much effort he put into the relationship, plus the bonus of his trust in you when it came to his Fortnite account, you could at least be confident in that he returned the sentiment.  
Except, sometimes, you still wonder if it would be easier for the both of you if he flew solo and didn’t have a girlfriend that tanked all of his player’s ammo and health kits and generally made a fool out of his cute little avatar while he was out breaking his back onstage.  
You aren’t sure if Jaehyun’s been noticing the turmoil in you; you’re not that good at hiding how you feel, anyway, but if he has, he hasn’t said anything thus far. You do observe how much more he texts you when he has free time, which makes you feel doubly bad, because you know that he’s spending precious minutes he could be resting with on talking to you instead, which isn’t the best trade-off for someone who’s constantly busy — and thereby constantly tired — like him.  
♡ jaehyunnie♡ ___________ I’m going to practice again, okay? Wait for my call ㅠㅠ You I’ll wait for your call ♡ ♡ jaehyunnie♡ I love you ㅠㅠㅠㅠ ♡ jaehyunnie♡ You love me too — a lot, right? I’ll keep my phone now, but I’ll make sure to check that you said so. ㅋㅋㅋ You Right! ㅎ I love you a lot! ♡
When the clock hits 12:01, and your phone is silent, your mind starts working on overtime again. It’s only when the special ringtone you’ve set for him comes to life at half-past midnight that you break your train of thought and put on your socks so you can meet Jaehyun at your front door.  
You’ve made a rule — sort of like a deal — between the two of you that apologies aren’t necessary when work holds you up. You’ve cashed in on that deal a couple of times, but you’re both aware that it’s more for Jaehyun’s sake than anything else, and he keeps to his word on that much when you open the door and duck into his car. All he does is smile at you, and you smile back, and for the rest of the car ride, everything seems okay.  
He always asks you about your day — unfailingly, at any chance he can. It’s never an off-handed question, either; Jaehyun takes great pride in his memory, and the sweetest thing about him is that he’s dedicated a good deal of it to knowing almost everything about you. Right now is no different. He asks you about your team manager, what you had for lunch; he grills you on if you took your vitamins today and if you got to break in the new shoes you bought online — the ones you’d been pining over for the last three months. He even asks you about the guy from the neighboring department who keeps asking you out for after-work drinks.  
“He wanted to go to Hongdae tonight,” you tell him as he slows for a red light. “There’s some new pub of his friend’s doing a soft opening there tonight.”  
“You could have gone.” He keeps his eyes on the road. “I wouldn’t have minded.”  
“I didn’t want to.”
“Good.” He glances at you, a grin slowly spreading on his lips. “Because I lied. I might have minded a little. Or, you know, a lot.”  
“Don’t tell me after all these years, you’ve turned into the kind of boyfriend that doesn’t let his girlfriend go out without him.”
“That’s impossible for me, and you know that,” he chuckles. “You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Just not with that guy from the other department.”
“Don’t worry.” You tinker with the little charm dangling on your phone — half of a flat, metal heart dangling from a gold chain that Jaehyun had given you two years back on your birthday. He keeps the other half, but since he can’t freely attach it to any of his belongings, he keeps it wedged between the back of his phone and its case. You like watching him change the backing because he does it so carefully, like he’s worried the other half of the heart is going to break if he rips off the case willy nilly. “I told him my boyfriend and I were going out on a date tonight, so he backed off. Although he did wonder why I keep talking about a boyfriend he’s never seen.”
“And? What did you say?”
“I said it was none of his damn business.”  
Jaehyun laughs loudly, and you go along with him, but you don’t miss how tired he looks when he sobers down, the green light illuminating all the shadows on his face as he steps on the gas again.
Nothing good is open this late at night — that is, nothing you haven’t seen before. You hadn’t even expected to go out at all, but since it was the day before Valentine’s Day as well as his birthday (or it would have been, if you hadn’t waited until midnight), Jaehyun had wanted to do something special without having to run into a huge crowd of couples on the day itself. Your only option is this from-out-of-town carnival that’s set up in tents and even has a medium-sized ferris wheel by the edge of the metal barricade. The parking lot is practically empty when Jaehyun pulls into a slot; you joke that he should break one rule and park in two slots, which he smugly replies to by saying he couldn’t park badly even if he tried.  
He tucks your hair back behind your ears as he loops the strings of a face mask around them, using another one for himself. Between that and the brim of his cap, you can barely see his eyes. The only knowledge that you have that you’re walking next to the man you love is that he takes your hand in his, slender fingers finding their way between yours.  
The carnival is half-closed when you get to the middle of it; there are still a few stragglers, but half the kiosks have their lights off already. There’s a woman dressed in flashy clothes standing on a patch of dead grass a few feet away, and she’s holding a hoop that a ginger cat is jumping through. Jaehyun steers you to them, and you stand there for a good five minute watching the cat roll on the ground and stand on its hind legs, but you can tell it’s been going it at for most of the day because at one point, it just ignores the lady, opting to weave its way between Jaehyun’s and your legs instead. You do have a pretty good time when he picks it up and cradles it in his arms so you can pet it for a second, but it just hisses when its owner approaches and jumps out of his hold, disappearing behind a row of trash bins.  
Jaehyun doesn’t have anything in his wallet apart from his credit cards and 50,000 won, and the coin machine operator says he only has enough coins left to break down 5,000 won for the games, so you end up having to jog back to his car so you can fish out some coins from inside his glove compartment. You come up with a grand total of 1,500 won, and you have to sheepishly go back to the coin machine operator to change four 100 coins and a couple of 50s just to get the last 500. Jaehyun tells you to hold onto the three coins so he doesn’t run off with them entirely and leave you destitute.  
You learn you can only do three things at most — you dedicate 500 won for the Ferris wheel entry tickets, which leaves you with 500 won each. The both of you agree on choosing one kiosk to play in, and with only about five left that are open, you don’t really have that many options. You end up dragging Jaehyun over to a stall with a pond filled with those magnetic toy fish, but 500 won only gets you one fishing rod. Since it’s your choice, Jaehyun lets you play, but you feel kind of stupid doing it on your own with him just watching you. In the end, he decides to stand behind you, his arms around your waist like he thinks closer contact isn’t even more distracting. You do manage to fish out 10 fish and win a small bear on a keychain. It doesn’t even pass through your hands as Jaehyun takes it from the stall operator immediately. 
“That’s mine!” You whine, reaching out in vain to take it from him; he just holds it high over his head. His eyes are twinkling under the shadow his cap casts over his face. “I worked hard for that.”  
“Let me keep this one,” he mimics the pleading lilt in your voice. “I’ll put it on my bag.”
“You know you can’t! Give it back.”
“I’ll win you a bigger one,” he promises. “Let me keep this one. It’s cute. It reminds me of you. I’ll kiss it goodnight before I sleep.” He starts to laugh softly. “And then you’ll feel this weird spirit kissing you at like two in the morning, and you’ll know it’s me.”  
Your arms aren’t long enough to retrieve it, and you don’t really want to, so you settle with twisting his ear. He takes it in stride even if he over-acts, making pained noises while leading you to the kiosk he wants to go to. It’s a shooting range stall, and he pays his own precious 500 won for a dart gun. He’s barely paying attention when the guy starts explaining how many points are assigned to each balloon color, more concerned with talking to the bear keychain in his hand and pretending like he’s cooing at you. You have to hit him across the shoulder to get him to focus.  
“You need to start picking out what prize you want,” he tells you — the actual you, not the animal keychain version — as he lifts the dart gun.  
“I’ll wait for you to finish first.”  
“No way.” He tilts his head, closing one eye to steady his line of sight. “Pick already. Or just go for the biggest one.”
“You know that Fortnite and dart guns aren’t the same thing, right?”  
“Yeah, but I’m well-motivated.” He grins at you, one eye still shut. He looks like a baby pirate. “Go ahead. Pick the biggest one.”
“Why don’t you just shoot, and we’ll see.”  
“Pick it,” he insists. “Tell me you have faith in me. Tell me you love me.”
“Okay, I love you,” you agree. “But I have no faith in you when it comes to this.”  
“One out of two is fine,” he concedes, taking aim.  
All three of you, including the stall operator, let out a disappointed groan when he misses his first shot. His comes with a sheepish laugh as he reloads, suddenly telling you to pick the second biggest prize instead. You can’t even watch him miss over and over, so you pretend to be interested in a bunch of teenage boys playing a game of cups one stall over, trying not to giggle when you hear him get increasingly more frustrated at himself. When you turn back around, you notice he’s holding two small pieces of gummy candy, offering one to you like a kindergartener. He helps you tug your face mask down so you can eat it.  
There’s a food stall nearby that, thankfully, accepts credit and debit; Jaehyun fishes out his card to get you a corndog — only one because he’s watching his weight for the upcoming concert, apparently. This is information you hate hearing but have no say in, and he knows this; you know he does because he says ‘don’t worry about me’ totally out of the blue, like five minutes after the conversation ceases to be relevant.  
His phone starts ringing when the food comes out, and he takes a tiny bite of it — more bread than hotdog — before he answers. You know it’s Taeyong by the way he answers.  
“Hyung, sorry — can we talk later? I’m out with ____________.”  
Taeyong says something loud but indiscernible on the other end. You piece together that it’s about tomorrow’s schedule when Jaehyun speaks again.
“I know. I’ll be home in a bit; don’t worry about it. I haven’t forgotten.”  
There’s more garbled speech on the other line; Jaehyun gestures for you to keep eating, and you do, but you more concerned with the morphing expressions on his face than you are with the act of chewing. He’s making noncommittal noises in response to what seem to be commands and reminders. You’re pretty much done with the corndog by the time he says ‘Okay, hyung. Hyung — I’ll see you later, okay?’
“Taeyong hyung says hi,” he tells you once he’s hung up the phone. “He says you still need to give back that book you borrowed from him last year.”  
“Oh yeah,” you finish off the last of the food. “I’ll drop it off within the week.”  
“Don’t worry about it. He doesn’t actually mean it.”  
Jaehyun watches you snap the stick in half and toss it in the trash bag.  
“We can go home,” you say finally. His eyebrows shoot up. “You’re busy tomorrow. I forgot.”
“I didn’t forget, and it’s fine.”  
“It’s almost two in the morning.” You check your phone to verify. “You probably have to be up in a few hours. You need to sleep, or you’ll die, Jaehyun. I’m too young to be a grieving widow.”
“Let’s at least ride the Ferris wheel,” he suggests. Before you can protest, he tugs you towards the rickety contraption, digging the 500 won out of your pocket and handing it to the bemused operator. He lets you choose what carriage you want because literally no one is on it anymore, and Jaehyun asks for the best carriage. You’re not sure how it differs from the rest, but he makes a show out of guiding you into it, and you don’t miss the corny ‘my lady,’ he mutters under his breath.   
It’s small, clearly meant for either a tiny group of children or couples who want to be as close together as possible. It’s also not air-conditioned, and only one of the windows is open, so you end up sticking to Jaehyun’s arm on the way up. The view is still great, though, and you feel his hand settle on your knee as the carriage makes it slow ascent.  
The ride up is quiet, and you press your face as close to the glass of the carriage as you dare, but Jaehyun doesn’t move an inch. His hand is still heavy on your thigh, but it doesn’t do anything but lay there. When you’re close to the top, you’re hit with the urge to do something romantic — kiss, maybe, tell him happy birthday, or say ‘I love you’ to him in the most sickening way possible — but when you turn to look at him, you have to hold your tongue.
Jaehyun is asleep, leaning against the corner of the carriage, head tilted down a little. His shoulders are rising and falling slowly, and he’s pulled down his face mask a little so he can breathe better; his lips are slightly parted by the slackening of his jaw. His left hand is shoved in his pocket, like he’d passed out halfway through reaching for something in there.  
He doesn’t wake even when you move slightly so you can lean back next to him, rocking the carriage a little — not even when you reach up and adjust his head so he can rest on your shoulder. He breathes deeply, evenly, and you wonder if his ear against your shoulder allows him to hear your heart plummet unfairly to the bottom of your stomach.  
You have to shake him to rouse him when the ride comes to an end; when he opens his eyes and realizes what happened, he looks mortified. Instinctively, he opens his mouth, but you fling the carriage door open and step out before he can apologize.
You have a deal, and he knows what he shouldn’t be doing.
His grip on your hand is much tighter as you walk back to the parking lot, and he doesn’t let go, even on the road. The trip back is quieter, maybe because it’s late, or maybe because there are a ton of things the both of you want to say but can’t.  
He slows down when he gets to your street, but when he stops in front of your building, he doesn’t immediately unlock the doors to let you out. Instead, he turns to you, licking his lips a little nervously.
“Can you…” he clears his throat because his voice cracks a little on the first attempt. “Can you come back with me? To the dorm?”  
“I have work tomorrow, Jaehyun.”  
“It’s still at eleven, isn’t it? I can bring you home before that. You still have some stuff in my room. You can get ready there.”
“Won’t you be too busy?”  
“Just—” he sighs softly. “Can you? Please?”  
You don’t know how to say no to Jaehyun, and tonight isn’t a night you’re willing to try. It’s why fifteen minutes later, you’re walking through the front door of his dorm. Donghyuck, sitting at his computer in his room with the door ajar, greets you sleepily as you pass by.  
Jaehyun steps in the shower with you; you don’t talk, maybe because you’re worried you might wake the others up if you start a full-blown conversation in a bathroom surrounded by other bedrooms. He just passes you what you need, and you do the same for him, and somewhere in between, he kisses you under the spray of the water.  
Later, he falls asleep with a face mask on, and you have to peel it off for him and toss it into the trash. The tip of his nose is shiny, and you want to kiss it, but you know it’ll wake him, and you noticed he’d set his alarm to go off two hours from now. He’s set out a couple of earplugs for you so that you don’t hear it, but you don’t put them in. You want to see him before he leaves, even if it’s in the deadest hours of morning, so you just crawl into bed with him. A minute before you doze off, you feel his damp skin press against your neck, his form curled up against your back.  
The alarm never wakes you; the sun is out when you open your eyes, and when you check your phone, you see that it’s already half-past nine. You also notice that there’s nothing from Jaehyun on your screen, but you try not to dwell on that, considering that you’d been expecting to wake up to an empty bed. His side of the mattress is cold, which means that he’s been gone for some time.  
You don’t know if it’s just because you’re groggy, but your insides still feel like lead when you sit up. The part of you that nags about this relationship is back at full force when you start thinking about Jaehyun going to a pre-recording two hours after spending the last of his energy on you. You start wondering if you’re doing the right thing if it feels like you’re just dragging him down. Your heart clenches tightly when the worst thought hits — maybe, just maybe, he’s tired of you, too.
But you won’t let him go. More to the point — you can’t. He’s the best part of your life; it’d be a cold day in hell if you decided to leave him.
Even the thought of it makes you feel like dying.  
Then again, this isn’t all up to you.  
You’re rubbing the sleep out of your eyes — and maybe a couple of frustrated tears — when the door creaks open. You see two mugs and his hands before you see the rest of him come through the doorway. Jaehyun whispers a careful good morning as he sets the coffee down on his table, making sure to push his keyboard away to avoid accidents, before sitting down next to you. You notice that there’s an envelope next to one of the mugs; the flap is slightly open, and from under it, a flash of red peeks out.  
His hand finds its way back to your knee — it’s his favorite resting place, he’s told you once. Your lap feels like home, he’d joked. Maybe he touches it every so often because it’s like a reset button for him.  
He doesn’t ask if you slept well, or if you want to get ready before having your coffee, or if you’re okay. He just squeezes your knee a little tighter. It’s you that has to start the conversation this time.
“How did it go?”
“It went great. You’ll see it on TV later tonight,” he starts rubbing your thigh idly. “You’ll watch it later, right?”  
“Of course. I’ll call you and tell you how cool you look.”  
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. When you lapse into silence again, it’s because you’re expecting him to say something, but he doesn’t come out with it directly. You try not to let it show that you’re worried, that you’re skeptical, that you’re wondering if he thinks he’s too tired, too busy for this, too.  
You’re expecting him to start how most break-ups start. You know I love you, right? And then the telltale but… would come, and you would have to hold back your tears and smile for him, and tell him you know, and that you understand it isn’t the right time, but maybe one day, someday, when he isn’t everyone’s Jung Jaehyun anymore — only yours.  
“You love me, right?”  
It’s not what you’d been expecting. Nor is it the playful little text he’d sent — no laughs, no jokes. His expression is somber, mouth pressed into a thin line.  
“You know I do.”
“A lot, right?”
“A lot,” you confirm softly.  
“Then whatever it is that you’re thinking about us,” he says quietly. “Don’t. Don’t think it. Don’t do it.”  
“Jaehyun—”
“I know it’s hard,” his fingers dig into your skin a little. “I know I put you through a lot. I know you think that I’m suffering because of this relationship too. I know everything. But whatever you think I’m going to do, I won’t do it — not ever. So if you’re thinking of it too, I’m begging you. Don’t. Please.”  
Maybe he had noticed all this time. A wave of guilt washes over you when you see the pained look on his face; perhaps you were even more transparent than you’d originally thought. You nod slowly to show your understanding, and he continues.  
“I know yesterday wasn’t the best you could have hoped for,” he carefully avoids apologizing, although it’s written all over his features. “For me, too. I… I wanted something different. It’ll be better next time. Do you believe me?”  
You hear him swallow — his nails are biting into your thigh a little, so you have to gently peel his hand off. Your fingers replace it, tightening around his palm as you nod.
“I believe you.”  
“And you trust me, right?”
“With my life.”  
“Then can you put your faith in me right now?” He asks. “Don’t panic. Just — just say yes.”
He pats around his pants, finally deciding to slip his hand into his left-hand pocket. Unlike on the Ferris wheel, he manages to extract something, but he keeps it closed in his fist. It’s shaking a little as he takes your hand in his other one, pressing something small and hard into your palm before he curls your fingers over it. His hold keeps your fist closed as he starts talking.
“It’s not immediate. We’ll figure it out. We’ll tell the right people, and they’ll help us tell everyone else — the public, the press. It doesn’t have to happen right now, or any time soon either— not if you don’t want it to. We can take it slow, or whatever. Anything you want — just as long as it’s with me.”  
“Jaehyun,” you shake your head, a little dizzy. “What are you talking about?”  
He slowly loosens his hold on your fingers, his hand dropping to the same spot on your knee. You’re free to open your fist, and when you do, you can’t help but feel a little stumped.
“I don’t mean now,” he repeats, now sounding doubly worried. “It’s not — It’s just…”  
“You’ll get in trouble. We can’t.”
“I won’t. Not if we do this right. Like I said, we can do it slowly. Months — years, however long it takes to do it well. What it is — it’s just… a promise.”  
“A promise,” you echo. It does have a nice ring to it.  
“That I’m not leaving you. Not ever. And… if you say yes, that you won’t either.”  
Your coffee has probably turned cold. Jaehyun is watching you carefully, looking like he’s trying hard not to bite his lip. You look back down at your hand, and he speaks up again.  
“You know I love you, right?”  
You smile slightly. “No but?”  
“No but,” he agrees.  
The ring fits nicely on your finger; maybe it’s well-measured from the amount of times he’s held your hand tightly in his.  
“Okay, Jaehyun,” you whisper. “I promise.”  
When you place your hand on his, he twists his palm, slender fingers gently twirling the ring around the base of your finger.  
Minutes later, he hands you your coffee. It’s sweet and milky, the way he knows you like it best. When he settles back down on the bed, you notice his eyes travel to your finger again, a small smile playing on his lips.  
Perhaps, in this moment, you finally learn to ask the right questions — not about if it’s worth it, but if he is.  
And in this moment, where he sits in silence with you, the sunlight pouring in from his window hitting the tips of his hair and the end of his nose, with the knowledge that his heart is as full as yours, you come to realize that there can — and never will be — any doubt of that.  
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tinytennisskirt · 2 months
Text
A Slippery Slope
Summary: Every girl has their favourite ex. The one they will forever have a soft spot for. Reader is above all of that, doing all she can to avoid Art when he’s back in town for tennis. Unfortunately, he’s unavoidable and has a lot of things to say about the way he left things…
Warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of sex, rehashing a breakup, kind of hurt/comfort? I’m not sureee
It’s not like you were stalking him or anything… and if you were, it was totally normal for girls to stalk their exes. Part of being a girl is stalking your ex, like a rite of passage. You were just lucky his progress and whereabouts were publicized.
Art Donaldson was going to be in your hometown again after leaving for college three years ago. His tennis brought him here, a tiny little tournament. It was a charity game, so people paid to watch. It was in the news that Art had refused to receive any portion of a winning and that it go directly to a children’s hospital in Canada. As sweet as that was, it was also presumptuous that he would win. You scoffed a little to ignore the fact he was there on the website, smile gleaming, curls all blonde and pretty. He was sweet, you had to ignore that.
The feeling that him coming back here gave you was a mix of anxiety and anticipation. For what? You didn’t know exactly. He would be back and you could go to his game for $20. Like it was nothing, you could see him in the flesh again. But you said no, because your best friend would probably yell at you and kick your ass. So you shut the screen and pretended like it wasn’t real.
When the tournament was in town, the Main Street turned into a giant sale. Every shop had a tent outside of itself enticing people to come by. You avoided it the past week, getting to work by an extra-long route. It was easy not to think about him (though you did from time to time) when he was off somewhere far playing tennis- but now that it was here and there were posters up and the library promoted it and the lamppost flags were changed to commemorate the event, they may as well have plastered Art’s face all over everything.
The tournament was tomorrow now. Soon you had no reason to worry about. It would be easy. It was around seven and the summer sun still warmed the air, but it was getting chillier with every ten minutes that passed by. You headed down from your little above-bakery apartment, bag in hand and flip phone in the other. The walk to the bar was delightful, a good thing after a busy day at work.
You walked in and sat at the bar, your usual spot for Friday nights. You usually never went to the bar alone- it was often you and your best friend but she was on a first date and you still needed your gin. You ordered a small drink, strong though. Tasted a bit gross but it was fine- you deserved it. After all this avoidance, all of this torture, being on complete edge- plus work.
You got another drink and sipped on it while checking your email on your phone. Flipping through unread, work emails, messages from friends about an upcoming birthday and what food to bring. A few more drinks, light, hard, you were tipsy but not drunk. Enough to be satisfied and fuzzy. You were conversing with the bartender who you knew well- she was a friend of a friend and you were a regular. You were struggling to hear her over the noise of a nearby group of guys.
“Another round of shots for the boy!”
“Woah, woah, I can’t get drunk guys, I told you,” another voice piped up. You recognized it. You hated how your head turned. Your heart stopped for a moment. Amongst the crowd, in the very centre, was the very blonde mop of curls that had been haunting your dreams for the past week. It was Art. He was here. Right now. In the bar with you. “Okay, maybe another shot.” He grinned at his friends.
Your heart beat hard in your chest. And you were about to look away to save yourself- but his eyes met yours and it was immediately too late. Blue eyes on yours. And his grin dampened to an open-mouthed look of awe. You looked away and grabbed your bag to pull your wallet out and pay as fast as you could. All of the avoidance, all of the torment, just how shitty it was to know he was back- it all was falling in on you.
All you had to do was avoid it all. And it was too late. You paid quickly and apologized for rushing off and you got up to go and he was right there in front of you.
“Y/N,” Art said. He still looked a little surprised. But this was your hometown. You blinked hard and pushed your hair away from your face. He was really here, he was here standing in front of you. “Hi.”
“Hey,” you replied. You didn’t want to look at him, you were nervous, afraid, intimidated. What if you weren’t improved enough- or prettier than you were before. Something about seeing an ex that made you re-evaluate yourself. “How are you?”
“I’m good, how are you?” He answered, upbeat. “I didn’t expect to see you here. If I had known you were still around I might have messaged.”
Would he really? It felt like a jab at the fact you still lived here. “I’m alright. I’ve been working.” You wished you weren’t tipsy, but he seemed so as well.
“I have a tournament tomorrow- are you going?” Maybe he drank more than you.
“I have work,” you told him. “It’s good to see you though, I have to be on my way, I’m so sorry-“ You lied. As good as it was to see him, you’d been afraid of seeing him again, feeling things again. The risk was very real, no matter what he had done wrong before.
He narrowed his eyes. “I wanted to see you. I’m glad I caught you. I’ve been… um… ever since I got here I’ve been thinking about you. I was going to call tomorrow after the tournament.”
You blinked a few times, “Oh,” you said. As you said, the risk was very real. “I- um. Sorry, I’ve been drinking.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “I get it.”
“I’m really sorry, I’m out of it,” you followed up. He was prettier than you remembered. His curls were more defined, longer. He matured, he looked more adult, but still young. He had been thinking about you… meaning to call… “It’s been good to see you, Art. And good luck at your tournament.”
“Do you really have to go, Y/N? I know I’m out of it too but you’re here and I… I know you.” He did. Somehow. He knew you were lying.
You sighed, “I really am sorry, I’m just tired.” You’d thought about how you’d act if you saw him again but your mouth was moving faster than your mind, trying to get you out of the situation because it felt like fight or flight. “Goodnight.” You tried to go again but he kept speaking.
“Can I walk you home?” He asked. You stopped walking and turned back to him. He was out of it, but you were a woman walking downtown at night. Usually you’d be with your girlfriends and you’d never travel alone and it didn’t occur to you that you would be. As much as you hated this current situation, it was safer. You nodded, slowly. And started mentally preparing. Would you seem impressive compared to his feats since you broke up? Did you look okay? Was everything okay?
Art ditched his friends. He didn’t say goodbye, he just stepped out with you. You were silent. “Did you dye your hair?” He asked as you began to walk.
You nodded, “Highlights, so kind of.”
“Ah,” he nodded back. “How have you been the past few years?” You remembered the healing process after him.
“I’ve been okay. Like I said, just working a lot. I have my own apartment now and some good friends. It’s not like college and travelling around to fun cities for tennis.” You said. He looked at his feet, smiling. You’d just given away that you’d kept tabs on him. “It’s not like I don’t have access to your Facebook. Or tennis news.”
He grinned at you. “Well I wish they had more hometown news because as many times as I’ve checked I couldn’t find anything about you anywhere. Look- I was going to call you tomorrow because I wanted to apologize to you properly. I know how I left sucked. I wished immediately and over the past few years that I’d gone about it differently and I want to apologize to you. Properly. And not now. Sober. Completely.” He said. His grin had lowered.
“I don’t need an apology, I dealt with everything when you left,” you told him a little too candidly.
He ran a hand through his hair, his blue eyes meeting yours. “I know. But it’s been eating me alive and I’ve spent every day since feeling guilty. I want to apologize right- I’m here now and as a man, I hate to beg but would you give me a chance to do that? We can get dinner after the tournament, my treat.” He had a hint of a smile.
“You don’t need to apologize,” you repeated. “I’m glad you’ve done some reflecting but you hurt me. I want to say no, Art.”
“I know.” He said, smile falling. “But I’m not who I was then. And I know better. If you hear me out and it’s not sufficient, I’ll be gone in two days and I’ll just be tennis news again.”
You both stopped walking and the silence was filled by the wind in the trees of the park that you passed with a small hint of the noise of cars on a nearby main road. He looked at you in a way that was so familiar, eyes soft- and new demeanour of being on the verge of giving up. But you saw his sincerity, unfortunately, locking eyes with his on this sidewalk. All he did was shrug and you shook your head slowly, eyes not leaving his.
“Okay,” you said, hushed. And a small smile creeped back onto his face. And you both, in unison, continued walking wordlessly. He walked you to the door of your building and stayed until you unlocked the door. “Goodnight, Art.” You said, stepping in.
He raised his hand, not waving, just raised, and smiled a small smile, his face illuminated from the golden light of the hallway, “Goodnight, Y/N.”
And you went to bed that night slightly freaked out, a little excited, and extremely nervous.
The next day rolled around and the same anxiety was NOT slept off. You worked a bit from home- You showered, did your hair the way you usually did, did your makeup and dressed in something that was comfortable, but nice enough for a warm summer day. A skirt, a cute top, comfortable shoes.
You replayed Art’s proposal. Dinner, he had said. You didn’t want dinner with him, that made it real, that felt like… too much of the past. Too close to something dating people would. You’d head over for his last game- you didn’t need to stay all day. It was nearing four o’clock when the next game was scheduled.
Above all, he was sorry. And he said he felt guilty and for a good while you convinced yourself he didn’t care and didn’t miss you or think about you at all- so hearing that he did unravelled a bit of your healing process. It’s not like it was an aching wound, but more like reopening a time capsule.
You stared at yourself in the mirror, putting your earrings in. This was a slippery slope, dinner would be the slipperiest, but you grabbed your bag and headed to the tournament.
You found a seat at the top, the last row.
You’d seen him play before a few years ago, but when he came onto the court today it was different. He had a new attitude and confidence and you could see it as the game started and he hit the ball with everything he had. And it was something you hated because it was hot and it shouldn’t have been. You had to look away a few times just to spare yourself but the sounds he made on the court reminded you of something and you hated it.
There was nothing you could do but tell him dinner was a no. And you were sorry. The game ended and he won, triumphantly, with a great cheer from the crowd that their hometown boy had won. You were somewhat proud of him- you never stopped, even after the breakup. He was doing well for himself. The crowd funnelled out after the game ended, but you stayed seated atop the metal bleachers that lined the court. And you contemplated how to be kind and apologetic in a way that told him you were better off not having dinner, whilst not giving away the fact that you were thinking about him in a way that scared you because it was an old, buried feeling. Without showing him that the apology meant hope. You were a strong, independent woman now and you could speak up and this just wasn’t a good idea. You were-
“Hey,” Art said. He stood down a few rows of the bleachers and waved. “I thought you wouldn’t show.”
“Me too,” you said. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky. “That was a good game. Congrats on the win.” You tried to be flat, but you were too genuine-sounding.
He chuckled, “Thanks. I’m glad you came.”
“Me too,” you replied. His smile grew but you saw him fight it. “Look, Art-“
“No I know,” he cut you off. “Dinner feels too intimate. Do you just want to go grab frozen yogurt? It’s honestly all I’ve thought about today- is there still that 24/h place that we used to think was insane hours for frozen yogurt?”
You blinked a few times before the relief set in. And you smiled a full smile, not meaning to, but you did. “That sounds- yes. Yeah, it’s still there.” You grabbed your bag and got up from your seat.
I’ll be ten minutes just to shower and we’ll go- if that’s okay?” He smiled back. The weight of a real dinner was lifted. No spiel involved, though frozen yogurt distracted you from the fact there was still a code of yours to uphold and it was to keep from slipping. You nodded and he went to do so and you waited outside the court. He was out soon enough with his things and he walked over to a car that you assumed was his the way he loaded his things in. His hair was still wet from the shower and as he passed you, he smelled clean and… familiar. You hated that.
The conversation in the car was about the game and that was easy. You pointed out some things you saw from his opponent and things you noticed him do. He answered every question of yours. And then you were there.
“How did they stay open all this time?” He said, entering. You shushed him and he put his hands up in surrender.
“High quality and good tourism,” you replied, getting the flavour you wanted. “Did you miss it here?”
“Here or here as in town?” He asked.
“Home,” you answered. He got his flavour and walked to the toppings.
“I missed some things about it, yeah. Not many things, but a good few.” He stayed vague.
“I think I would like to miss it someday,” you told him. “I’ve been here too long.”
“Travel?”
“Saving up for a house,” you told him. “I’ll travel when I’m old, I think. When retirement money comes in and I don’t have kids to pay for.”
“I thought you didn’t want kids?” You both paused. You paused at the fact he remembered that and he paused at the fact he said an inside thought aloud.
You blinked hard a few times and put on a few toppings. “I’m- um- I’m not sure. I think I was young and inclined to the idea of being a working woman with no distractions and now I feel that… I’m older, so. I feel like maybe it’s not the best thing ever to have no distractions.”
He cleared his throat, “That’s fair.” Silence. The place was empty anyways. You brought your frozen yogurt to the scale and the price came up. Art walked over with his and pulled his debit card out. “My treat, remember?”
You did forget. He paid right then and there and then paid for his own and you thanked him but the silence still hung over you both even in the sound. In the car, you ate your frozen yogurt and the topic turned back to tennis and it was easy. Talking to him about passions was just like no time had passed at all- and it was interesting to hear the ins and the outs and the tells of tennis. But he stopped the car eventually, outside his hotel. You wondered if he was about to banish you home out of nowhere.
“I have to interrupt- I was wondering if you wanted to come up to my room for a bit, I feel like with the impending conversation maybe you’d want to be somewhere quiet and I wasn’t about to invite myself over.” Art said. You nodded. “You will?”
“I will,” you agreed, though you didn’t want to. It felt wrong, like a mistake, like the edge of a cliff and a slippery slope all at once. He smiled and got out of the car with his frozen yogurt. Your mind lingered on how considerate it was, despite the intimacy of being alone with nothing to see but him. “I appreciate that a lot though.”
“I know you like privacy,” he replied. You went up to the 14th floor, two down from the top and followed him down the hall. The room was standard. Large, but one bed, presumably a pull out couch, a chaise lounge, a small kitchen, a big bathroom and a tv. His things were all in one corner. You immediately took a seat on the chaise which was near the bench at the end of the bed that Art immediately sat on. It was a bit real. It was more than a bit, it was real.
He looked at you, blue eyes with their bits of brown and his long eyelashes. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did.” He started. He was jumping in. Your heart sped a little and you suddenly felt a pit in your stomach. “I was stupid. And naive and convinced that I would thrive more when I left for college.”
“You did,” you nodded. A nod to his success.
“But my intention was wrong. You… loved me. And I took advantage of that for the idea of a perfect college experience with Patrick- full of smoking and drinking and girls.” Your stomach flipped hearing his words. “I felt the guilt from the moment I left, I just shut it up with vodka and constant tennis and it was hard but it was manageable but it doesn’t mean I didn’t think of you.”
You kept your eyes locked with him and set your frozen yogurt on a nearby table. He took the time and did the same, but he looked at you for something. “You could have come back. Or called- even if you called-“ you cut yourself off. You were jumping too quickly. But it was Art and Art was easy to talk to. “When you left, I knew that. I knew what you wanted and I didn’t believe that you would truly let it go.”
“I didn’t,” he said.
“But there was no proof. To me, you left me for the ability to drink and kiss and fuck and it broke me because I was young and all I had to give was myself.” Your eyebrows knit closely together. He looked guilty. “And with no proof, I just… I was upset for a long time, but I slowly got over it.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“I know now,” you sighed. “Unfortunately it was hard to get you off my mind.”
“I tend to have that effect,” he smiled a little and so did you.
“Apparently so do I,” you countered. He grinned his perfect crooked smile. “But you hurt me. Badly. And I missed you for years but you didn’t even reach out on my birthdays so what could I think other than you’re out there succeeding and had put me in the past.”
“It’s why I’m here, or- why you’re here. I needed you to know that I thought about you all the time. It ruined my relationship with another girl because she knew I was hung up even when I didn’t. And when I found out the tournament was here, I just… I knew I had to see you. I had to face what I did. I know it was shitty, I know not speaking sucked, I just… I want you to know how sorry I am. And how much I wish I hadn’t left.” He looked genuine, his regret radiating off his skin. Your heart skipped a beat or two and your breathing picked up a little. “I wish I hadn’t left you, I traded you for something so fucking meaningless, it kills me.”
You had to stand your ground, because you knew the moment he said that- that all of your healing was coming undone. It unravelled and floated down to the floor, useless. You recognized the look on his face too well, you missed the look on his face. He wanted you. “I really-“ you started but stopped. The slope was icy, slick and smooth and at your very feet. One wrong move and you’d fall down it. And all of the healing, all of the time, all of it would have been for nothing and what would that mean? You had to have some sort of stance against this, some little bit of resistance. His voice was too soft, his eyes too sweet. “You should have told me that ages ago if it’s truly how you felt.” You said. You hated being dismissive this way. “I accept your apology.” But he didn’t look happy to hear that.
“I wanted to call, but I’d left things so badly I wasn’t sure if it would just reopen wounds or…” he had a desperation in his eyes.
You picked up your bag, your stomach doing flips and your heart beating at a crazy pace. You had to go. The slope was too slippery. “Art, I accept your apology. Thank you for the frozen yogurt and for the privacy and inviting me up here. I really should go, it’s getting late.” It was too easy to want to fall down that same slope, to tumble into him, to crash, to even burn. It was too tempting and you just… couldn’t do it. Couldn’t handle it. You stood up and walked toward the door and you felt him get up behind you.
“Wait, please?” He said. “Y/N, I have more to say.”
“I heard everything I wanted to hear four years ago,” you replied, turning before the hotel room door. “Unfortunately too late and I just feel… the same. You did trade me for the opportunity to have sex with girls shamelessly. Everything we had was just gone at the drop of a hat because you felt like it and you left me here to pick up the pieces and knowing you wanted to tell me all of these things since you left? While I waited by my phone every single night in case you called to change your mind, convincing myself day after day that you were just busy until I convinced myself that I was never worth anything to you- do you know how much that hurt? Having everything I ever wanted in a person who knew me like the back of their hand and being dropped for a college party era… I…”you huffed and he kept his eyes on you, listening, but eyes sad. “I convinced myself that it was all fake because what other explanation did I have? And it’s not like I could call to clarify, you left me. And it took forever to stop having nightmares about you and even when they were dreams they hurt. I missed you more than I missed anything and you showed no signs of regret or remorse or even missing me in the slightest. You broke my heart when you left, Art. And I’ve been better.”
There was silence in the room. It lasted a minute and a half. He seemed to be taking in every word you’d said. He cleared his throat eventually and he looked more upset than he had this whole time, “It kills me that I did that to you but every day was a constant battle. No girl out there was worth it- nothing was. But we were so far apart and- fuck I have only excuses but I know I did you wrong. And I know I hurt you and I can’t undo it but I can be here now and tell you that you look just as and even more beautiful than you did then. And even after not speaking for years I feel like we never stopped. And I have never stopped having feelings for you so seeing you last night in that bar just about took me all I had to not immediately pour my heart out in hopes that maybe you would forgive me enough to let me try again.”
Try again? Your hand rested on the door handle and you looked at him in disbelief. “Art, I can’t.” You said. He was standing in front of you, looking down at you, over you. His eyes were wet, you noticed, and he was breathing just about as hard as you were as your heart pounded in your chest.
“I can live without, I know we’re older and you might have moved on,” he said under his breath. “But I’ve never stopped wanting you and seeing you has made it so apparent. I can’t escape you, so even if you walk out that door right now nothing I’ve said will change.”
“You were everything, Art,” you told him, hushed. “But you hurt me and it would be wrong to go…” He swayed closer, over you, close to you. “-Back.” Your eyes met.
“I don’t care if it kills me. It almost did leaving you the first time but if…” he swayed near again. Your lips parted and your eyes stayed trained on his. “If you let me… I wouldn’t go anywhere. If I can promise you anything it’s that I know now that I need you.”
“You’ve gone years without,” you said, standing your ground. “You’ll manage.”
“I don’t know if I will,” he sighed, his blue eyes a dark shade of grey in the dim lamplight of the hotel room. His voice stayed low. “Not this time.”
“Why?”
“I told you why. It’s been a mistake, I’ve wasted years of my life just thinking and never acting and I need you to know I still want you. You stand here and you’re questioning it but you’re at my door and you haven’t left.”
“Maybe I want to hear you out,” you reasoned, it took all you had not to stutter and stumble over your words. Your hand gripped the door handle harder, knuckles whitening. “Thank you for your apology and for telling me how you felt.”
“Thank you for letting me,” he hushed to a whisper again. In his eyes, through the focus and lock on your own, you saw his hurt. You saw how genuine he was. But the silence was still and he was close to you, too close, but just close enough. Just about as close as you were to slipping. Down the slope… “Y/N…” he trailed off.
“You missed me? You missed me…”
“Every day.” He confirmed, the gap between growing smaller every second. “And I’ll never stop being sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. You don’t have to say anything for sure, but I want to try. If you’ll let me. I would do anything to not have to miss you like this. I promise you.” His nose grazed yours, that’s how close he was. You looked up at him through your eyelashes.
“Art…” you sighed.
“Yeah?” He looked into your soul the way his eyes kept hold on yours. He wanted to smile, you could tell.
“I’m not sure.”
“I know. That’s completely fair-“
You cut him off, “I don’t know.
“I know.” He replied. “I know what I can give can match what you gave me. I want to give you everything I couldn’t, I-“
“I know,” you echoed.
“Please,” He said, the way he looked at you was so soft. His eyebrows were knit in the centre, he was pleading with only one word.
“How do I know?”
“You don’t. But you can take my word.”
“What good is your word? You said you would stay and you didn’t, you said you loved me but you were gone a week later, you swore it was us.”
He looked exasperated, “I was young. And stupid. So stupid.”
“Very,”
“I know.” He echoed again. “And I’ve known. And everything has lead me back here.”
“How do I know you won’t leave for tennis again?”
“Nothing could take me away this time,” he said, voice still hushed. You were fighting a hard fight.
“You can’t promise that,” you retorted.
“Who can?” His voice echoed around your head. Who can promise to stay? Indefinitely? Eventually someone dies nobody can ever stay forever. There will always be an eventual absence. Your heart pounded in your chest, racing, pumping hard enough you could hear it. He looked at you with perfectly parted lips and eyes that just pleaded and an expression you missed for ages. Eyes locked on eyes, trained, centred. And closeness you craved for years. You were fucked, done for.
You grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into you. Though it wasn’t a kiss. It was the tightest embrace you could muster as he wrapped his arms around your waist, hands grasping at your sides, his other hand flat on your back, holding you close and your hands around his neck, tight. You missed this more than kissing him, you missed this more than most things. Younger you missed everything, but most, she just wanted to be held again. You thought about it for years. And his grip on you didn’t waiver one bit for the time you kept your embrace. He kept you flush against him like it was the easiest thing in the world.
And he kept you that way for a long while. He didn’t want to let go, neither did you. But eventually, slowly, you both pulled away. The heat of the moment was gone and the apology was over and your heart still beat a little bit too quick. And he still wasn’t far. The silence was loud, but comfortable now.
“Can we try again?” He whispered. Plain and simple. He wasn’t asking for a promise- nobody could ever promise anything. Even you couldn’t promise. But it was him and even after years had gone by, it was always going to be him anyways. So why not?
You nodded.
232 notes · View notes
corroded-hellfire · 2 years
Note
you ask and you shall recieve, older!eddie not only helping you relax your mind after a rough day but also, being the only one who's ever been able to put you in subspace, because the man KNOWS how to treat a woman<3 im in like desperate need for this kind of fic because i need someone to put me in subspace
The joy I got from this request. You have no idea. Older!Eddie is literally my ultimate weakness. But I tried to be as accurate as possible with subspace, even though it's different for everyone.
You can meet how Eddie and reader met here!
Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), choking, spanking, subspace, soft dom!eddie, sub!reader, older!eddie, age gap (Eddie is 42, reader is 24)
Words: 3.1k
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It may be true that your apartment is closer to work than Eddie’s trailer, but your car always seems to have a mind of its own when you’ve had a bad day. You’re pretty sure that your car takes over and brings you to your boyfriend’s place without you even being conscious of it. Today was no different. You’d forgotten your lunch at home, been late because of traffic, and worst of all, been passed over for the promotion you know you deserved. 
It all led you to sitting in your car outside of Eddie’s home, his truck not in its usual place in front of the trailer. He should be home any minute, but every second that ticks by grates on your nerves like a broken bow on a fiddle. 
The moment you see—or rather, hear—his truck come into the trailer park, you yank your key out of the ignition and get out of the car. The squeaky bucket of bolts careens into its usual spot, then falls silent. The blaring metal music stops, and the engine dwindles down until it’s quiet. The driver’s door opens before you hear it slamming closed.
“Hey, baby,” Eddie says as he walks around the front of the truck. He takes a drag of the cigarette he’s been smoking, then tosses it into his empty garbage can out front. “Been here long?”
“Not really,” you say, instantly attaching yourself to his side once you’re close enough. “Missed you.”
“Missed you too,” Eddie says, ducking down to press a kiss to your head. “How was work?” 
When your only response is a sigh, Eddie frowns, the subtle wrinkles by his eyes becoming even more prevalent. He tugs you over to the front door and ushers you in once he’s unlocked it. You watch as he takes his hair tie out, shaking his mane free. The wild brown curls cascade down to his shoulders. Unable to help it, you reach up and play with the hair framing his face. It’s something that’s always calmed both of you; you playing with his hair. It can relax Eddie to sleep and have you forgetting all your troubles of the day. Wrapping a single curl around your index finger, you notice the start of some gray at his temples. It makes sense since the lack of color has been popping up more and more in his beard and stubble lately. You don’t think he believes you when you tell him how sexy it is. 
Eddie leans down, cupping your face in his hands, and presses a soft kiss to your mouth. 
“Rough day, baby?”
You nod and he instantly wraps you up in his arms. He hasn’t even changed out of his greasy coveralls yet, but you couldn’t care less as you bury your head in his chest. His large hand strokes up and down your back as he presses sweet kisses to the top of your head. When he goes to pull away, your fingers tighten over the zipper of the coveralls, silently begging him not to let go. 
“Don’t want me to make something for dinner?” he asks. You shake your head against his body. “Want me to order takeout?” You shrug. Eddie sighs and squeezes you against his body. “How about this…” Eddie pulls back just enough so he can tilt your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. “Why don’t I call up to get some Chinese food delivered—I know, I know, Golden Palace is your favorite—and I’ll get changed and hold you in my lap until the food gets here.” 
“I’d like that,” you tell him. Satisfied that he came up with an agreeable arrangement, Eddie smiles and presses a kiss to your forehead. 
He makes his way into the kitchen, balancing the phone receiver on his shoulder as he searches the fridge for the magnet with Golden Palace’s phone number on it. “Want your usual, sweetheart?”
“Yes, please.” Kicking off your shoes, you nudge them over to join the tiny pile of Eddie’s near the front door. As he talks on the phone, you make your way down the hall to his bedroom. The starchy blouse and pinching skirt you’ve been wearing all day have worn out their welcome. Slipping them both off, you drop them on the chair in the corner of Eddie’s room. Spotting your favorite pair of Eddie’s sweats hanging out of a drawer, you move to go get them before freezing in place. No, you decide, you don’t want to wear them. You’re content in just your bra and panties. 
Eddie’s bed is one of your favorite places in the world. And here and now? It’s just about irresistible. Climbing on, you lay back against his pillow and take in the messy room around you. Clothes are strewn about everywhere, despite his hamper in the corner being empty. There are a few photo frames on the walls now, which makes you smile. Before you, there’d only been posters of bands and movies. Some are still there, but now there are also photo collage frames on the walls featuring the people he loves. His uncle is in a few of them, as well as his buddies from his old Hellfire days. There’s even some of you that you begged him not to hang up, but he said you looked so good in them that he wanted to look over at them whenever he wanted. But your favorites are the ones of you two together. One of them is from when you’d gone to Chicago together and got caught in a snowstorm. Another is of you standing on the corner of a dock at Lover’s Lake, where you forced Eddie to hold onto your hips and recreate the Titanic pose. He’d rolled his eyes, but who’s laughing now that he put the picture up on his wall?
Eddie steps into the bedroom and stops when he sees you only in your underwear. “Babe, you can borrow clothes. You know that.”
“Didn’t wanna,” you say, making grabby hands for him. A soft smile comes to his face as he sheds himself of his coveralls and climbs on the bed next to you. 
“What do you want?” Eddie asks. He’s pretty sure he already knows, but you both know you’ve got to ask for it. His suspicions are even further confirmed when you just look at him from beneath your eyelashes, fluttering them at him. “Tell me, princess.”
“Want you to make me feel better,” you say in a hushed voice. Not looking him in the eyes, you trail your fingers over Eddie’s thin gray t-shirt. “Want you to take care of me. Like only you can.” 
Before Eddie, you barely had any sexual experience. But with the limited amount you did have, guys could never make you feel good. They were lacking in multiple ways, actually. Not only could none of them bring you to orgasm, but they couldn’t even distract you sufficiently when all you needed was to get out of your head for a little while. Eddie had gotten you into subspace the very first time he’d tried. Never before had you trusted someone so much, felt completely safe, which only added to the hazy feeling that came over you. You’re pretty sure Eddie was made specifically for you. Funnily enough, he thought the very same thing. 
Eddie nods, laying one of his large hands on your stomach. His calloused fingers rub against your bared skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake. 
“I can do that,” Eddie assures you. “Let’s get you more comfortable, okay babydoll?” At your nod, Eddie slips your panties from your legs and you reach behind you to unclasp your bra. Once the garments are tossed somewhere on the floor, Eddie crawls on top of you, nuzzling his nose against yours. His nose trails down to your throat, but that’s not the part of him you want there. Eddie notices the barely there whine that escapes you as he places a hard kiss against the soft skin of your neck. 
“My princess wants my hands, doesn’t she?” 
“Yes, sir.”
Eddie shrugs himself out of his t-shirt and unzips his jeans. He might as well take it all off now because he doesn’t want to have to stop for a single moment once he’s got you going. Finally shed of all articles of clothing, Eddie lays one large, tattooed hand on your hip. Ever so slowly, he moves the hand up your body. Over the softness of your tummy, over the small tattoo you’d gotten on your ribs, just below your breast, that you decided to get after admiring Eddie’s ink for so long. Finally, his hand trails over the swell of your breast, only pausing briefly to flick a thumb over your nipple, before slipping over your collar bone and halting on the one place you wanted it. The pressure Eddie applies to his hand on your throat isn’t enough to impact your breathing, but enough to feel the possessiveness in the gesture. Waiting until your eyes slip closed, Eddie tightens his hand just slightly, causing a hitch in your breathing. This is your sweet spot, he knows. Right where you start to feel your worries melt away.
“You want me to fill you up?”
“Y-Yes, sir. Want you t-to fill me up, please,” you say.
“Gonna fuck my baby girl so hard,” Eddie says as he nudges your legs apart. “Won’t be able to have a thought in her pretty little head that’s not about me and how good my cock is making her feel.” 
Resting back on his knees—but not too far back, keeping the pressure on your throat—Eddie spits into his free hand before working his saliva up and down his cock. Seeing you already relaxing, legs spread, eyes closed, and his hand on your throat? Eddie didn’t need to pump himself very many times before he was clamoring to be inside of you. Running his fingers through your folds, grinning in satisfaction at how wet you already are, he mixes your slick with the saliva on his cock. He lines himself up with your entrance, eyes focused on your face as he pushes in. Your brows pull together, just a little, and a low breathy moan escapes your lips. Eddie leans over you, bracing himself on the forearm of the arm that’s not holding you around the throat. 
“How’s that, baby?”
“More.”
“More, what?” Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows.
“More, please, sir.”
“That’s my good girl.”
A groan tumbles out of Eddie as he bottoms out. He thrusts his hips, sliding himself in and out of you, picking up the pace just a hair each time. The pressure on your throat increases as his hips snap against yours.
“Wanna tell me what happened at work? What’s got you so upset?” he asks as he keeps a steady pace.
Keeping your eyes closed, a sigh escapes your lips. “Out of all the p-people who started working there around the same time I did, I-I’m the one who’s most qualified for—.”
“Ah,” Eddie cuts you off with a tut. “That was a test to see if I fucked the stress out of you yet. And I failed.” At that, he begins pounding into you even harder, the headboard against the wall sounding like a jackhammer. Whimpers start to fall from your lips, and when you open your eyes, a few tears slide down the sides of your face. Eddie pulls out of you, releasing his hand from your throat and you groan at the loss of both sensations. “Come on up, baby. I want you on your hands and knees.” 
Letting out a small whine, you turn your head to bury it in his pillow. “M’comfy, sir.”
“Up, princess,” he orders. 
He slips his hand underneath you and pulls up. Complying, you move slowly, letting Eddie know that you're headed in the right direction. Once he’s satisfied that you’re in the position he wants, —and has admired the view—Eddie pushes his cock back inside of you. He gives it a few thrusts before his one hand grabs your hip hard enough to bruise and the other gives a harsh smack against the soft plush skin of your ass. 
“That’s one, baby,” Eddie says. “Want you to count them for me, okay?” When your only response is a nod, Eddie gives your ass another smack. “Okay?”
“Y-Yes,” you whine. “That was two, sir.” 
“Good girl,” Eddie says as his hand rubs over the area he just struck. With no warning, he pulls his hand back and gives another stinging slap.
“Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Uh…”
“Come on babydoll, what number are up to now?” Eddie asks. 
“I don’t remember, sir,” you admit with a whimper.
That’s the answer Eddie wanted, though. Your brain was slowly turning to mush, which meant he was doing his job. It almost meant that he needed to get you on your back again, since he knows that’s where you get the most enjoyment out of subspace. 
After one more smack to your ass, Eddie reaches forward and wraps his thick fingers around the front of your neck. He guides you up until your back is pressed flush up against his chest. 
“How’s my princess feeling?” he asks as he slips out of you. The sensation causes a whine, bringing a soft smile to Eddie’s lips. “Shh, just changing positions, sweetheart.” He carefully maneuvers you until you’re lying on your back again. Before you get fully down though, he slips a pillow under your hips. One, it’ll support your ass, being sore from the spanking. And two, this angle always allows Eddie to hit your sweet spot. 
Hands holding onto your hips, Eddie slides himself back inside of you, causing your face to scrunch up in the most adorable way. He lowers himself to hover over you, his dark curls curtaining his face above yours, like the two of you are locked together in this private moment. Your eyes blink open, sleepily, as he starts pounding into you again. Eddie’s wish was coming true; there was nothing in your head besides him. Heavy eyelids drooping, your gaze shifts down to his scruff, making Eddie let out a breathy chuckle.
“Looking at the gray again, baby? I don’t get what you find so sexy about it. Like the fact that I’m old, huh? That I know what I’m doing and know how to take care of this tight little pussy of yours? None of those boys your age know how to handle a woman like you, do they? No. You need me. I know what you need, baby girl. I know what makes you feel so good.”
Eyes becoming too tired to hold open, you let them close again. Your mouth opens slightly, and Eddie doesn’t hesitate to run his thumb along your bottom lip. 
“Such a pretty girl.” Your eyes open again, the fucked out expression a sign of victory for Eddie. “Aww, look at you. Got my smart girl all nice and dumb, huh? My cock that good, princess?” 
Whines begin to fall from your lips, your brows tighten up. Eddie can read your body better than he can read The Hobbit, so he knows you’re very close. It’s a good thing too, because so is he. Whenever he sees you this blissed out, it hurtles him towards his own release. 
Supporting his body with one arm, Eddie reaches down and rubs tight circles over your clit. “How’s that, babydoll? Does that feel good for my baby?”
There’s an imperceptible nod of your head, but Eddie sees it. Feels the way your walls are starting to clench around his throbbing cock. 
“Let go, sweetheart. Let me make you feel so good.”
Your body is limp, the only movement is the rapid rise and fall of your chest, and your hips as they move against Eddie of their own accord. The moment your body tips over the edge and into your orgasm, Eddie feels his. Feels the way you soak and clench his cock. It has his hips stuttering, letting out a string of moans and curses as he releases inside of you. 
“Fuck, princess,” Eddie says as his body comes down from his high. He looks down at you, eyes open but glossy and relaxed. Mouth curled into a lazy smile as you look back up at him. You’re spent and so is he. 
Taking a deep breath to try and get his breathing back to normal, Eddie pulls out and flops down beside you. He knows sometimes it can take you a little while to come back to him when you’re in this state. But he also knows that holding you while you’re in this haze is your favorite part. Maneuvering the blanket on the bed—which he now needs to wash—he tucks it up to both of your waists. Slowly and gently, Eddie manages to get you to turn over and holds you in his arms. Your face nuzzles into his neck, your sweat and his blending together. 
“You did so good for me, baby girl. You’re always so good for me. I’m one lucky old man.”
The soft giggle against his skin lets him know that you’re still there with him. He rests his head against yours and runs his fingertips up and down your bare spine. “Why don’t we take a bath after this, hmm? Nice warm bath, then curl up on the couch. You can pick a movie to watch while we eat dinner. How’s all that sound?” 
“Good,” you say, barely audible. Your arms slip around Eddie’s waist, and you pull yourself as close to him as you can in your floaty state. 
Eddie gives you a gentle squeeze in his arms. He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you look up at him. Gazing into your eyes, he can see that you’re coming back to him bit by bit. Once you relax your grip on him, he’ll go get you some water to drink and run the hot water for the bath. But right now, he’s going to lay here and enjoy the cuddles that you both need. He knows you’ll thank him for this when you’re fully returned. And he’ll tell you yet again how you don’t have to thank him for it. That he loves being with you like this. The fact that you trust him in this way. Seeing you go from majorly stressed to being totally blissed out was more than enough thanks for Eddie. He feels honored that he gets to help you in this way. His perfect little girl.
“How you feeling?” Eddie asks softly.
“So good,” you say dreamily, making Eddie chuckle. “I love you, Eddie.”
“I love you too, princess.”
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sixosix · 4 months
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hiii i fear tumblr may have ate my ask so i'll say it again just in case--if not im so sorry please ignore this i don't mean to rush you or anything :')
wanderer, candy(does that count?), fluff!! :D
(oh oh also can i be 🪐anon/saturn anon? if not thats fine! i just thought i'd ask since i think i've been sending asks consistently enough to identify myself ^^)
notes wc 800; HII your ask wasnt eaten, i was just taking a long time writing the requests LMFAO. of course u can be saturn anon!!! welcome welcome to the blog (this ask was sent a month ago and i am very much late. idek if anon is still active here…) tbh i wrote this and just went with the flow HAHA
5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST
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You unceremoniously dump the pile of imported goods on the table, causing quite a scene in the silence of the House of Daena. They scattered about, and some even clattered onto the floor. You grinned proudly at your friends’ dumbfounded stares.
Tighnari was the first to speak. “I’m assuming you had fun on your vacation in Inazuma?”
“Do you even have money left?” Alhaitham asked, quite incredulously. The most emotion you’ve seen from this month.
It took you a moment to respond, and you felt momentarily distracted by the strange sensation of being watched. “Well, no,” you said eventually. “But I bought all this for you guys! Be more grateful, will you?”
Kaveh clapped his hands. “This is incredible! I haven’t gotten the chance to try any of these local delicacies from Inazuma!”
You nodded approvingly. See? Was that so hard? “Yes, I know. Aren’t I such a good friend? You’re welcome, all of you.”
Belatedly, they mutter their thanks.
You went on a tangent, reciting the food sales pitch you memorized from the sellers, feeling remarkably intelligent. They didn’t have to know that, half the time, you were the personification of a lost tourist/foreigner/idiot in Inazuma and just decided to play it safe and keep most of the souvenirs as food.
They segregated their wanted share and thanked you again. They left you some of the candy, which you had no qualms about eating for yourself. As you all fell into the lull of a conversation, the feeling worsened, and you’ve had enough.
You turned to your friends. “He’s been staring at me for about 30 minutes now…”
They each cast their discreet glances.
“Are you scared?” Kaveh asked worriedly.
“Look at that look in his eye!” you said. “I’ve seen that same look in Rishboland Tigers!”
“He’s not going to eat you,” Tighnari sighed. Well, he wouldn’t know that. Only Alhaitham has met Hat Guy, and he seemed to be amused instead.
“Violence is not permitted in the Akademiya grounds,” Cyno said seriously.
“Maybe it’s not you he’s looking at…?” Tighnari tried.
“Cyno, switch with me,” you ordered.
Wordlessly, he obeyed. The group watched in disbelief as Hat Guy’s gaze simply moved to where you sat next. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.
“Maybe he’s interested because it’s a candy imported from Inazuma,” Cyno supplied thoughtfully.
“That’s a good point. I’m surprised you didn’t make a p—”
“Don’t you mean—” Cyno held up the box that displayed the Inazuman Electro symbol on the front, “shocked?”
You hung your head. You spoke too soon. “OK.”
Tighnari watched your face for a long moment, but it didn’t feel as charged as the guy sitting a few tables away. “You don’t seem to hate the attention,” he concluded at the sight your giddy smile.
“No, I really don’t,” you admitted sheepishly. “He’s smart, and he’s handsome. Of course I’m interested. I just wish he would be a bit more normal about his flirting—if he’s even flirting. Should I give him some?”
You didn’t wait for an answer as your chair scraped backward and you faced Hat Guy directly.
“Make sure it’s just the candy you’re giving!” Kaveh called out.
“I see that Sparks are flying,” Cyno said.
Walking over while you held his gaze was excessively awkward, but it was worthwhile seeing Hat Guy’s little smirk grow like he was pleased you were taking his challenge. It was a bit of a problem, however, that he was undeniably attractive. If he was cute from afar, he was drop-dead gorgeous up close.
“Y/N,” you said, in place of a greeting.
“They call me Hat Guy,” he mused. “Those from Inazuma?”
“Yes.” Suddenly embarrassed that the bullshit you were spewing was picked up on by the guy who everyone was pretty sure was born in Inazuma. “Did you hear me?”
Hat Guy shrugged, plucking one candy from the pile on your hands. “You did pretty well. But I only have one criticism, and I can tell you bought most of them from the same place.”
Ah, you did do that. He tore off the plastic and popped it into his mouth, expression turning sour. “The best ones come from the locals. You should’ve asked the kids,” he advised.
Mouth dry, you said, “Yeah, I should’ve.”
Everyone told you that the mysterious new student—Hat Guy, you now learned—was prickly and slips off when someone approaches him. His birthday was apparently a very thrilling event—in the case that everyone had to hunt him down to give him his cake.
“Want a tip?” he asked, head tilted and looking entirely pretty. His tongue rolled around as he ate his—your candy.
“You seem to know best.”
“Take me with you next time.”
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doki-doki-imagines · 5 months
Note
hello! I am the person who requested that reader with a cat who likes the boys a lot if u remember that request.
may I request (if ur not uncomfortable with it) some period comfort with an afab!reader (they/them pls) just taking care and helping reader with their period? if it's not too much can u also include reader sleeping a lot and craving lots of food (typical ik) and how reader just gets mad rlly easily.
characters: bi-han, syzoth, shang tsung, kenshi, raiden and liu kang
thank u and have a good day :) (smiling through the pain)
author note: I'm super late, but I suppose it's better than never. Hope you'll like these! Link to the cat post
Kenshi Takahashi: -He…He can smell when you are on your period. -Actually Kenshi can even tell when it is coming so he is always ready with food when it finally comes. -He tries to keep your pelvis warm and treat you softly since your body gets sore way more easily. -Kenshi goes a bit insane when you're ovulating, so now he is more calm and soft. -He'll try to make your mean comments slide, but it is hard for him, so it's better not to exaggerate, or Kenshi will snap back.
Raiden: -Really sweet and understand your needs. -But Raiden won't be a sticky boyfriend. He has work to do and won't take a day off. -When he finally understands how this period works for you, he will be prepared for the next one. -Your fave food? Check. Warm beverages? Check. Cover and 3 different kinds of movies to match your current mood? Check. -When Raiden gets home tho he is all for you. He likes to put you in his arms and draw circles on your hand, waiting for you to fall asleep on his chest. -Mean words are nothing to him. A king of taking the hit and making it slide off him.
Liu Kang: -"You bastard! Couldn't you erase menstruation while creating this world?" You whine into his arms, cramps making you curl in his body.
"Would you rather lay eggs, dear one?" Liu Kang replies, with a smile on his face, forefinger lifting your chin up to make you look into his brilliant eyes.
"You are just a meanie." You snap back, pushing his face away from yours, making a laughter blossom in his throat. -He tries not to make you eat too much junk food, but he'll back off when you look at him with fury in your eyes. -His body is better than any cover.
Bi-Han: -I'm sorry, but he would be pretty cold. -He was raised in a way that even if you were dying, you should take care of yourself without the help of anybody, so at max, he'll send your way a doctor. -Bi-Han has to work A LOT on being a normal human. He really doesn't know how to work around normal feelings that are outside his field of work. -And the future grandmaster lessons he has been given as a kid never focused on helping his partner out. It is already much that he decided who to be with. -Bi-Han probably knows very little about how menstruation works, mostly because they taught him not to care about other people and just think about how to be the perfect Lin Kuei's leader. -First work on making him act as a decent human, then Bi-Han will even make you a special tea to make your cramps less painful. -And if you look particularly pitiful he may snuck junk food too…
Syzoth: -The first time he saw you losing blood, he panicked because "Why are you losing blood?!?!" -After you explain how things work, Syzoth will let out a breath of relief. -Surprisingly, he understands pretty well that losing blood is a pain, so he doesn't mind following your order like a butler. -Syzoth is gonna snuggle under the covers with you, btw. -Not used to you being mean tho, even if he understands you aren't fine, he still takes those words personally.
Shang Tsung: -Actually, he'd make a potion to make your cramps fade. -But he doesn't do anything for nothing…are you ready to try his next experiments? Maybe the potion isn't as safe as he says. -Shang Tsung satisfies your cravings, but don't nag too much, or he'll get annoyed. -Also, don't be mean, or he will snap back, then you'll start to cry, and actually Shang Tsung has a weakness: your tears. Then he'll have to try to make you stop, but sadly, another mean word slips…it's an endless cycle that makes him think just "Hope this will end soon."
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pixiecaps · 8 months
Text
The Betrayal • A Full Breakdown
This post serves as an in-depth explanation of everything that occurred with the Betrayal arc regarding qRoier at the beginning of the server. Everything is split into 10 separate sections detailing what exactly happened as well as explaining qSpreen's side of this arc. Below the "Context" section you'll find a compilation of clips all of which are translated and captioned into English. Anything not shown in the video or lacking context is explained in their respective sections. In these sections you'll also find transcribed pieces of conversations not shown in the video translated into English as well.
— Context —
VOD 1 | In order to properly understand how this all unfolds I must explain some things first. Roier had set his mind on making a taqueria on the SMP which is a Mexcian restaurant that specializes in tacos for those unaware. To do this he had to, well, make tacos. Crafting tacos took a decent amount of ingredients but one ingredient in particular proved difficult to find. The tomatillo. After 1 hour and a half of search and calling out for Osito Bimbo's help, with no response, Roier finally found a single crop of tomatillo which gave him a single seed. He's ecstatic and starts making his way back home.
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3 minutes later after he found the tomatillo and acquired the seed by himself Osito Bimbo makes an appearance. Roier quickly informs Osito that he came a little too late and questions why he now appears after having found what he was begging for minutes ago. Osito Bimbo doesn't offer any response and after lingering for a bit Roier decides to ask him something else.
Roier: Since you arrived so late, could you give me a lot of tomatillo? A lot, a lot of tomatillo. I think this is the only way I could forgive you.
Osito Bimbo: Maybe.
Roier asks Osito Bimbo for specifically a stack of tomatillo seeds, which commences a deal being inevitably struck.
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Osito Bimbo tells Roier that, in exchange for the seeds, he has to do something for him. Roier, with a mischievous tone, agrees without hesitation and without knowing what it would be that he had to do. Osito then gives him a book instructing Roier to make him 10 tacos and 3 chimichangas. Osito then hands Roier 62 seeds of tomatillo. Roier thanks him graciously and sets off home to make the long-awaited tacos.
After he arrives home and begins preparing the tacos, he realizes he doesn't have salt or lettuce, so once more, Osito Bimbo appears, and he asks Osito for the missing ingredients. This time, however, instead of food, Osito Bimbo asks Roier to give him information on Vegetta in exchange for his help. Osito was of the belief that Vegetta was plotting something that Roier may know of. Going to the extent of using gunfire on Roier to threaten information out of him, however, Roier did not budge and instead acted aloof to what Osito Bimbo may have been referring to. Osito believed his act and handed him 17 seeds of lettuce and the coordinates of where he could find salt on the island. He sets off to the coordinates and, in fact, finds the salt where Osito Bimbo had said it would be.
Roier once again returns home and begins crafting the ingredients needed for the taco, such as cheese, salsa, tortillas, etc. During this time, Roier first sees two Cucurucho's at once. One in his kitchen and another in his garden. And finally, after 3 hours and 6 minutes, Roier crafts the first taco. He hands the taco to Osito Bimbo (The one in the kitchen) and he eats it. Roier makes a joke and Osito Bimbo shoots him. To this, Roier reacts negatively and says, "It's not cool for you to treat me like that. ... You can't just shoot me then simply leave like that." As a consolation of sorts, Osito Bimbo hands Roier a poppy. Roier informs Osito that he has to leave and won't be able to make the rest of the tacos for him that day. Osito Bimbo exclaims "No!" repeatedly. Roier challenges him and says, “Oh. You won't let me leave? You won't let me leave? Are you sure?" He then spits at Osito and throws the poppy back at him. After this, Osito Bimbo replies, “Finish what I told you.” Roier then, visibly irritated, says, “You know what, Osito? You know what, Osito? I'm tired of you treating me badly. I'm tired of you treating me badly. You and I are no longer friends." And he logs out without giving Osito Bimbo a second to respond.
VOD 2 I The following day, Roier logs on and finds a trail of poppies in his home, which leads to the upstairs of the house. Following the trail, he finds a chest with 3 tacos and a book inside.
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Roier reacts to the letter warmly, declaring that he wants to keep spending time with Osito. He begins writing his own letter back as a response.
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Roier leaves the book in the chest, knowing that Osito is likely watching him in that moment and will read the book later. Then Roier commences his day by gathering ingredients and crafting more tacos.
VOD 3 | Now, before this occurred and before Roier had logged on for that very day, Spreen was also on the server exploring when he was approached by the Devil, who proposed an alliance between the two of them.
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Devil: I come here to propose an alliance. You and I, what do you think?
Spreen: What type of alliance?
Devil: An alliance. You do bad things for me and I do good things for you.
Spreen: So, I do bad things for you but it's going to be your fault?
Devil: No, because-
Spreen: So, I have to take the blame for my own actions?
Devil: You just have to- No, you just have to play carefully and not get caught doing bad things.
Spreen: So, I have to play with people's feelings?
Devil: Exactly, that's what I like, that's what I like.
The agreement goes as follows: Spreen will do whatever bad things the Devil asks, if Spreen so chooses to accept them, in exchange for whatever he desires. The greater his desires, the greater the sin he'll have to commit. The Devil says that there's only one condition to their alliance, which is that Spreen can never tell anyone that he's had contact with the Devil, and if in any situation the Devil is implicated, then he will rain hell on Spreen's life, like destroying his home and so forth. Additionally, if Spreen agrees to do a misdeed prompted to him by the Devil, he must complete it in the given time, or else he'll have to punish him severely. It is important to note that while talking to the Devil, Spreen mentions Roier being his "great comrade" and saved a cat from being burned alive by the Devil. The devil then conducts an interview with Spreen to see if this alliance is truly beneficial to him, and this is where Spreen reveals some information about himself.
Devil: I'm going to ask you first, who is the person you like best from this world?
Spreen: From this world?
Devil: Yes.
Spreen: My comrade Roier I honestly really like him a lot. We live together for now. And there's Missa too... My bros at home are the ones I like the best.
Devil: And would you betray Roier and Missa?
Spreen: Yeah, no problem.. Depends on what cost.
When told to list the first three acts of misdeeds that come to his mind that he could commit against his fellow islanders, he includes on the list killing one of their pets. When asked by the Devil what he'd do to someone he cherishes, like Roier or Missa, Spreen replies that he'd kill them relentlessly to the point of exhaustion and to where they log off the server. Spreen asks the Devil what he'd give him in exchange for such a misdeed, and this is where the Devil proposes a plan.
Devil: Wait a moment. Does Roier have any type of pet?
Spreen: I really don't know. I think he has a cat but I don't know if it's his or Missa's.
The Devil says to find out specifically if Roier has any pets he cherishes and if that pet has a name. Giving him a piece of paper and telling him that if the pet doesn't have a name, then either name it himself or ensure Roier names it. Stating that if Spreen gathered that information he'd give him the sky and anything he could ever want. He also mentioned he'd be observing and watching Spreen from the other side while he tries to gather that information from Roier.
Now after this, Spreen heads off to his home with Roier and Missa, and Roier offers him a taco, which he gladly accepts.
— The Clips —
Further details on what is going on in the video are in the sections below. These sections include additional context and information that was not included in the video itself, which are vital to grasping the full picture of this arc.
— The Lie —
Spreen begins telling Roier that he's decided he wants to be a veterinarian and open a vet on the island. However, he wants to take a count of who on the island has pets as a form of data to see if the business would do well. So he asks Roier if he has a pet of his own. With the context provided, we know that this was a lie to find out the information assigned to him by the Devil. Roier replies that he has a dog in a cage that he has yet to tame, then proceeds to set it free and tame the dog. He names it Firusflais. Spreen tells Roier that, as a veterinarian, he shouldn't leave the dog inside a cage all day, but Roier disagrees, saying that his dog is different and likes being left inside the cage in his backpack. Spreen prods Roier further about the matter, and Roier reveals that he prefers keeping his pets in his inventory and not out in the open, like Missa's cat, out of fear of the pet being killed by someone else. Spreen disagrees, saying that Roier has a keypad door, so it's unlikely to happen. Roier then mentions that the only people who can enter the home through the keypad door are Spreen, Mariana, Missa, and him. A symbol of those that hold his utmost trust.
— The Deal —
Spreen uses and mentions a bubble blower, which reminds Roier of the turtle racing bet in which he lost it to Spreen. They laugh about it, and Roier asks if Spreen would like to do another turtle racing bet. However, Roier questions Spreen's trustworthiness when it comes to how these races are done and the possibility of them being rigged. This is right when Spreen receives a private message from the Devil telling him he has 5 minutes to return to the bar alone to inform him of what he has learned.
Spreen quickly shuts down the accusations and says that Roier can pick the turtle himself and where the race takes place. Roier then suggests the idea of doing a test race with a taco on the line. Spreen says he doesn't want to do all the work of setting up a turtle race for a simple taco. Roier defensively says that the taco isn't something to be taken lightly and took a lot of work to craft. Spreen sarcastically agrees and says it's only 5 ingredients. Roier decides to challenge Spreen to go gather all the ingredients and craft a taco himself in just ten minutes if it's so easy, and if he somehow accomplishes this, then he'll give him 100 subs. Spreen quickly agrees, stating that he'll bring all the ingredients to Roier and craft the taco in his face.
And just like that, a bet is made.
After Spreen leaves to find the ingredients, Roier reassures the voices that there is no way that Spreen could find all of the ingredients in time. The only possible way would be if Spreen sneaked into his garden to gather the ingredients.
Some further reasoning as to why Roier so confidently bet 100 subs can be looked at through two lenses. Through the meta-explanation and through a character analysis. In meta, Roier fully knew that the previous day he had spent hours trying to gather the proper ingredients to craft that taco, so logically, he knew there was no feasible way for Spreen to do the same in just ten minutes. Through his character, it makes sense for him to fully trust qSpreen in this bet, as they had done previous bets when turtle racing and qSpreen had proven himself to be an honorable man. Not just that, but qSpreen and qRoier held a tight bond in which he never could've imagined his friend lying and deceiving him. We see evidence of this bond several times days prior, but specifically in moments where you realize the importance of Roier allowing Spreen to live with him and have access to that keypad door. The same goes for Spreen when he states that one of the two people he values most is Roier.
While Spreen is off, Roier decides to complete his deal with Osito Bimbo and craft the 10 tacos and 3 chimichangas.
As Spreen exits the house and walks towards the bar, he states that now he knows what he'll ask the Devil in exchange for killing Roier’s dog. In other words, he'll ask for the taco ingredients. When he arrives at the bar, Spreen informs the Devil of everything that occurred with the dog and the deal and says that he'll do anything to that dog as long as the Devil helps him with the taco. The Devil says it's a deal as long as Spreen kills not just Roier's dog but also Missa's cat with the taco in his hand. As well as Spreen gifting 20 of those 100 subs to him. Spreen seems taken aback by this for a moment, questioning the addition of Missa’s cat to the chaos before regaining his composure and saying it seems like a good deal. Spreen talks to the voices for a moment, reassuring them and informing them of his plan.
Spreen: I don't want to kill Missa's cat, dude. I'm going to do something. I'm going to do something people, this is a round deal. I'm going to kill Missa's cat without Roier seeing and I'm going to replace it with a cat of the same breed. The issue is that when Missa comes he won't see it so l'm going to put it in a cage and I'm going to leave it placed inside the cage there, okay? Then when he takes the cat out of the cage Missa is going to say, "Hey why didn't I adopt him?". And he's going to start thinking and he's going to be suspicious but he's not going to understand what's going on. So we're going to replace Missa's cat, and then Roier's dog I'm going to fuck him up right there with the taco in my hand. And while we're at it, we're going to fuck up Roier too by getting 100 subs out of him with this taco thing. So don't worry. I've got it all figured out.
This moment in particular is one of the times where you can see how much of a mastermind qSpreen really is and how his mind works. Someone not to be messed with. However, the one fatal flaw in this entire ordeal is that he underestimated Roier's experiences with that taco. With the knowledge of what happens after all this occurs when Spreen is explaining his plan you realize they were all doomed the second he agreed to that deal. It was just a matter of time.
After the Devil hands Spreen the ingredients for the taco, he informs him that he only has 15 minutes to kill Missa's cat and Roier's dog. He sets off back to Roier in a hurry, as he only had 5 minutes left to complete the taco deal with Roier. The Devil then quickly reminds him that if he doesn't complete the misdeed, he'll be punished.
— Doubt —
Spreen arrives at Roier's home immediately, telling him that he's awful at making bets as he hands him the ingredients for the taco. Roier is incredibly shocked and confused before quickly starting to question how and where Spreen had found all the ingredients. Spreen doesn't budge and starts claiming Roier had simply done a worse job looking for the ingredients than him and that that was all there was to it. He asks for the 100 subs and the taco itself; however, Roier continues to question him specifically about where he found the tomatillo, salt, and what he needed to craft the salsa. Spreen continues to lie, and Roier takes note of this. Roier then begins calling Spreen a liar as Spreen continues to not inform Roier of how he honestly got the ingredients.
Roier: Who gave you all of this? Where did you get this, asshole?
Spreen: Dude I got it on my own. Stop lying. I find it disrespectful that you're lying to me with the fact that-
Roier: I find it disrespectful that after what we've been through, Spreen, you're lying to me, dude.
Spreen: You're lying to me, asshole because you bet something and you're not delivering.
The situation quickly escalates as Roier hands Spreen his globe and tells him he's allowed to take it from their home before he beats him up for lying to him. This globe Spreen had specifically acquired his second day on the island and was a valued item of his. *(1) Spreen tells him not to start with him as he pulls out an enchanted diamond sword as an intimidation tactic. The only enchantment on the sword being bane of arthropods.
Considering the qRoier spider hybrid depiction, | thought that detail was quite coincidental and ironic.
To which Roier responds by equipping a set of enchanted diamond armor with all but a pair of boots. Spreen sees this and hands him his own pair of enchanted diamond boots, taunting him. Spreen then demands to be paid the subs, and Roier refuses and spits on him. Spreen continues to demand for Roier to complete his part of the deal, but Roier suggests fighting for it instead. Spreen refuses to do this, as this wasn't part of the original deal. Soon after this, Roier finally says fine and that he'll gift Spreen the subs; however, he tells Spreen that he never mentioned when he'd gift him the subs. Spreen, upset by this, questions if this is really how Roier is going to handle the situation.
Spreen then swears to Roier that he had planned offstream to make tacos for his bar days prior, which is why he had the ingredients for the taco already. To back this up, he states that he had also, while offstream, made a structure for his new home, which he could show Roier as proof that he had been doing things offstream. Roier doesn't believe him but complies when Spreen offers to show him this supposed structure. As Roier follows Spreen, he says he wants to contact his lawyer Quackity. Spreen then shows Roier the structure and continues with his lie, stating that the same day he was constructing his home, he spent 5 hours online and went looking for the tomatillo. Roier's suspicions do not subside, and he says again that he'll have to speak with his lawyer since he doesn't believe him. Spreen isn't particularly fond of the lawyer idea, saying that Roier is complicating his day and he just wants the issue to be resolved quickly. In the context of the deal, we know this is because he still needed to kill the pets and is wasting time with this dispute. He had wasted 8 of the 15 minutes he was given to kill the pets at this point.
— The Court Case —
After Roier messages Quackity for assistance with the situation, Quackity promptly arrives at Roier and Spreen's home. And Roier hands Quackity a taco as a gift. At this point, Spreen had 5 minutes on the clock to kill the cat and the dog. The Devil starts striking lightning around Spreen as a warning. Roier and Quackity become alarmed and question what is causing the lightning, while Spreen remains silent and tells them to hurry this up as he would like to leave for the day. Spreen tells his side of the story to Quackity, leaving out everything to do with the Devil, of course, and is once again reminded that time is ticking by the Devil. Specifically, he has 3 minutes to complete his side of the deal, or else the consequences will be severe. As well as to remember their blood pact.
Roier then begins to tell his side of the story while Spreen excuses himself to go to the bathroom. The Devil messages Spreen again, telling him that for every minute he exceeds the given time, he'll have to give away 1 more sub to him, or else his home, the one in construction, will completely disappear forever. During this bathroom break, Spreen walks into the home, apologizes to the cat, and kills it before quickly heading back to Quackity and Roier. 2 minutes left. The Devil reminds Spreen to kill Roier's dog with the taco in his hand as he had forgotten to kill the cat with the taco.
Quackity hears both sides of the story and calls for a testimony from a witness. The witness being Quackity himself, who was not present for the situation when it occurred. As a witness, Quackity states that Roier is in the wrong, as obtaining a taco is not difficult at all. He comes to this conclusion because, having logged in for just a couple minutes, he had acquired a taco. This taco, of course, was the one Roier had gifted him minutes prior. This leaves Roier shocked and betrayed by a friend who he trusted would take his side in this dispute. Roier then questions Quackity about how he got the taco, knowing full well that he had given him that taco.
Roier: And how did you find that? How did you find that Quackity?
Quackity: It was very easy, very easy. I grabbed a tortilla and put the ingredients inside. It was very easy.
Now from Roier's POV this may seem very coincidental and perhaps a planned action by Spreen and Quackity but to clarify not once did Spreen whisper to Quackity to help him or tell him to choose his side for some type of a reward. This was purely their actions lining up and causing a massive impact on Roier and his trust in them.
Spreen states he's hungry and asks Quackity for the taco and Quackity hands it to him. Spreen does this so that he could have a taco to kill the dog.
Quackity now serving as the role of the judge comes to the conclusion that Roier should be annexed for three weeks and would have to go to jail. Roier is left shocked and bewildered by this conclusion. Spreen quickly steps in and tells Quackity that those extremes would not have to be necessary as Roier is his comrade and that all he asks is for Roier to complete his side of the deal. The Devil starts counting down 30 seconds to Spreen so he adds that he would also like Roier to give him his dog on top of the subs. Roier confused asks why his dog and Spreen just says he wants the dog again.
After some discussion Roier agrees to give Spreen his dog as long as he doesn't have to pay the subs. Spreen refuses to accept this negotiation. Roier states that he doesn't have the dog with him and that it's currently at the vet. Spreen however knowing this to be wrong as Roier earlier placed the caged dog in his backpack in front of him continues pressing further for the dog. Quackity then says Spreen is entitled to take physical and violent action against Roier if he refuses to complete his part of the deal. Roier starts exclaiming that Quackity is corrupted and that he had trusted him. That he had trusted both Quackity and Spreen. Asking whats wrong with them and saying that they aren't normally like this. With 3 seconds on the clock, Spreen, having heard what Quackity said about being allowed to take violent action, takes this as a green light and begins attacking Roier.
— The Hunt —
Spreen hits Roier first with his iron axe and Roier begins fleeing stating that he won't pay anything and that they're in the wrong. Spreen shouts to Roier saying that he has to help him. Roier then shouts saying this isn’t how things work. Spreen hits him again and he whimpers. 17 hearts. Quackity following behind Spreen tells Roier to pay him so that this will all be over. Roier says he won't keep discussing or hand over the dog until Spreen calms down. So Quackity tries to ask Spreen to calm down but he doesn't. Another hit. 14.5 hearts. Roier exclaims that he's going to die and begins running out of flat space to run. Hit. 12 hearts. Quackity says that he knows he's meant to be his lawyer but to give up the dog already. Hit again. 9 hearts. And another one. 7 hearts. And another. 4 hearts. Roier begins shouting that he had trusted Quackity over and over. Quackity once again says to hand over the dog and Roier refuses. He says that they're wrong again. Then Spreen downs Roier. Spreen begins shouting at Roier saying to hand over the dog or else he'll kill him. And right as Roier gives up and agrees to hand over the dog Spreen lands the final blow killing Roier. The chase takes 1 minute and 34 seconds.
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Spreen then takes the cage from Roier's body and starts killing the dog with the taco. Quackity tries to protest and get him to stop but it's ineffective and the dog dies anyway. Spreen tells Quackity that it was inevitable and he had to do it. As well as that Roier would not find out. Unbeknownst to Spreen that Roier got notified in chat that his pet had been killed. As Roier begins to feel saddened by the death he tells himself that he cannot get like this. Spreen in the meantime receives a message by the Devil telling him to meet him at the bar in less than 5 minutes.
— The Hurt —
After being killed, Roier spawns thousands of blocks away due to having set his spawn in a dungeon he had done days prior, so he breaks the bed and allows a zombie to kill him. In fact, he begins begging for the zombies to kill him, exclaiming that he's tired of this life. When his death to the zombies is shown in chat Quackity types laughter as a response in chat, and Roier takes note of this behavior, stating that it's fine and that he had trusted Quackity. He goes on to say that the hurt he feels isn't even because of the loss of his pet, but because of the trust and friendship he lost with Quackity and Spreen. Describing the situation as a betrayal he never would've expected of Quackity and even less of Spreen.
Roier: If he (Spreen) wanted money I could've given it to him, I hope it'll be more worthwhile for him to have earned that money now that he has lost my friendship.
After Roier returns to his body, a few snarky comments get thrown by Spreen before he leaves.
Quackity: (Looking through Roier's backpack) My god 40 diamonds! Only diamond armor bro.
Roier: Go on. If you want to rob it from me, rob it from me if you want to. It's fine.
Spreen: No, my friend, nobody is robbing anything from you. Not like you who tries to rob from others with your fake bets. (Walks away)
Quackity sticks with Roier, trying to ensure that his friend isn't too mad at him for the events that unfolded. Roier, however, remains clearly upset. When he gets his backpack back from Quackity, he notices that he took all his food and tacos. He asks Quackity if he has taken his food, and while blatantly lying, Quackity says no. Quackity then offers Roier his own food back at him.
Quackity: Do you want food? Look I'II give you some. (Gives Roier 31 toast)
Roier: Yeah I'd like that. A bit of food.
Quackity: No worries, no worries. You know thats what friends are for.
Roier: What did you say?
Quackity: You know thats what friends are for Roier. Don't worry.
Roier: What friends are for?
Quackity: Yeah, to give food to one another-
Roier: For what you did back there? Is that what friends are for?
Quackity then asks where his thank you is for having helped him with the dispute with Spreen. Roier doesn't say thank you. Quackity then tells Roier that he won't charge him for the legal representation.
Quackity: For the legal representation. I'm not going to charge you because you're a close friend. You're a close friend.
Roier: It's a good thing I'm a close friend, because if I was an enemy, just imagine.
Quackity: Oh shit yeah, no, imagine! No, no, no.
Roier: Imagine how it would have gone.
Roier continues to be noticeably upset through his tone of voice, and Quackity once again asks if he's doing alright, and Roier continues to act as if everything is fine.
VOD 4 | Meanwhile, Spreen goes to the bar and finds the devil waiting for him. He's quickly informed that he passed the test and that the contract between them has been finalized. The Devil expresses that he's forgiven for going over the set time because he killed the dog and Roier as well. Which was done in such a brilliant manner that it satisfied the Devil.
Devil: You have literally sold your soul. You have done evil against a friend you love and I love that, so congratulations you have passed the test.
The Devil leaves swiftly, and Spreen decides to return to his friends.
This is when the Angel appears in front of Roier and Quackity, saying that he's looking for someone who doesn't belong to this world, specifically a red being. Roier then shows that he has a red hoodie, and the Angel asks him to step closer so he can get a better look at him. As he steps onto a block closer, the Angel breaks the one below Roier, and he falls to his death and is downed.
Spreen decides he wants to apologize to Roier for acting impulsively. Right then, he sees the downed message in chat and stumbles upon Quackity laughing as the Angel comes up with excuses for his actions. Spreen tells them he wants to apologize to Roier over what occurred with the bet and where he could find Roier. Quackity, still laughing, doesn't answer quickly enough before Spreen notices Roier had been tricked and is down below them. Spreen water drops and misses landing on two hearts. He picks Roier up, hands him food, and says he's there to say his sorries. Explaining that he was acting impulsively and let the situation overcome him. He then hands Roier his globe as a gift. And in a way for Spreen, it served as a symbol of his honest apology to his closest friend. Roier, however, is unfazed.
The Angel then decides to take Quackity, Roier, and Spreen on a fun adventure. During this, Roier remains in an upset mood while Spreen and Quackity try to mend whatever is left of their friendship. In one moment, Spreen asks if Roier wants any food, and Roier says no, but Spreen still hands him a golden apple. The Angel decides to gift Roier a pet dog so that he can feel better and because animals make people happy. Roier says thank you, and then Spreen and Roier stare at each other in silence as Spreen blows bubbles. As some meta commentary, Rubius plays both the Devil and the Angel and his decision to gift Roier a dog as the Angel after having orchestrated the entire plan to kill his previous dog as the Devil. Sick and twisted. I was jaw-dropped by this the first time watching. Love it. Quackity then gifts Roier two tacos to try and make him happy. It doesn't work.
The Angel asks the group what'd make them happy, and Spreen says confessing his sins, so they begin doing a group confession. Spreen begins by sharing that he killed a dog, a cat, and a friend. And additionally mentions the illegal turtle racing. The Angel forgives him. Quackity then goes to the podium and confesses to doing a poor legal job representing someone. The Angel forgives him. The Angel then encourages Roier to confess, as he sees darkness in his soul that needs to be purified. Stating that God himself told the Angel on WhatsApp to help Roier. The Angel tells Roier that he needs to do something good for someone who wronged him today. Specifically, he needs to gift Spreen a named pet. Saying that doing this will benefit him in the future. Roier agrees. Spreen already had a tiger in his backpack that he wanted as a pet, so he sets it free and allows Roier to recapture it so that he can gift it to him as a pet. Roier names it Algodón de Azúcar or Cotton Candy. Spreen is grateful then logs off at this point. It is important to note that he doesn't end up doing the replacement plan of Missa's cat.
Roier then continues to hang out with Quackity. Whenever Quackity wasn't talking, he'd give him a death glare, which would quickly shift into a smile with a joyous tone of voice when it came his turn to speak and continue the conversation.
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Had to include a gif. It's too good.
As they arrive at Quackity's home, Roier pulls out an enchanted iron sword with murderous intent before putting the sword away. They spend the rest of the day together, and Roier is able to act perfectly fine around Quackity while still holding onto that anger and grudge by the time they say goodbye.
— The Aftermath —
VOD 5 | The following day, Roier continues to show his distrust for Quackity and with Spreen stating at one point that one of the few people who hasn't betrayed him and who he can truly trust is Vegetta. As well as Missa and Mariana. Mentioning that he does believe Mariana could betray him at some point, but as of that point in time, he had not, so they're on good terms. He considers whether he should tell Vegetta about what happened to him with Spreen and Quackity. While on the way to Vegetta's home, he gets attacked by a mob and gets overcome with sadness, saying that it reminded him of the day before when he was being attacked and killed.
After greeting Vegetta, he offers him some tacos as a gift, telling him that they were quite difficult to craft. And Vegetta looks at the recipe and agrees, deciding to cherish them. This is a direct contrast to Spreen's reaction to them.
Roier then tells Vegetta he was betrayed and asks for advice and if Vegetta would like to know who the people are. Vegetta says no, saying he'd rather not involve himself too much so he can offer unbiased assistance. Vegetta does agree to help him and then advises Roier to place a bunch of mines in the homes of these people.
Vegetta and Roier then set off to do dungeons together. After they finish, they find Quackity at spawn with Fit, and Roier decides to tell Vegetta that he's upset with Quackity but is going to act friendly when in reality he wants to kill him. Vegetta understands and goes along with this. They spy on their conversation but once they're caught Vegetta and Roier decide to shower Fit and Quackity with gifts, while Roier purposefully keeps referring to Quackity as his friend.
Roier keeps playing the act of being on friendly terms with Quackity until Vegetta logs off. Once he's back home, he removes Spreen from the keypad door whitelist. Then, after some thought, he re-adds him to the whitelist as to give off the impression of their friendship being intact while he plans to stab him in the back.
Quackity then shows up at Roier's home, and they have a conversation.
Quackity: The other day something happened that has greatly separated your friendship and mine.
Roier: Of course, of course.
Quackity: And I just want to make sure that there are no future problems between us. And I just wanted to reassure that part of our friendship.
Roier: (Crosses fingers) Rest assured, rest assured.
Quackity: Perfect. Because if anything happens to me... (Steps closer) I'll have someone to blame.
Roier: Of course, don't worry.
Quackity: Do you have enemies?
Roier: No, not at all.
Quackity: I hope it stays that way. I'm leaving. And remember not to mess with me.
Roier: I won't mess with anyone.
(Quackity leaves)
Roier: Don't worry Quackity. Don't worry Quackity. I won't be the one to do anything to you no, no, no, no, no, that's going to be you Quackity. That's gonna be you. Don't worry. I'm not even gonna touch you. I'm not even gonna touch you Quackity. You'll see. You'll see.
— The Cat —
Missa logs in after a few days of not being online and quickly notices his cat is missing. He looks around the entire house and doesn't find the cat, so he asks in chat where Roier is. Roier says he's on the way to talk to him.
Roier returns home to greet Missa and is immediately questioned by him about the whereabouts of his cat. Roier decides he has to break the news to him about what occurred with Spreen and Quackity. He tells Missa how he was betrayed, humiliated, and had his dog killed, which is likely the same fate Missa's cat suffered. Missa doesn't take this well and shouts what his cat had to do with any of it. Roier says he doesn't know, but that they were betrayed. Missa says that there's probably a misunderstanding. Since the cat had brought nothing but peace to their home, how could someone have hurt him? Roier agrees, saying that his dog too is gone. Missa shouts to hell with his dog since he never met him. Roier then starts retelling everything that happened to Missa, from the start with the tacos to the end with the axe in his back. Missa isn't understanding: instead, he begins blaming everything on Roier because surely there has to be a misunderstanding.
Missa: Spreen is my brother. Spreen wouldn't do something like that.
Roier: But he did. He did Missa.
Missa then starts considering every possibility except reality. He wonders if it was even the real Spreen and Quackity; perhaps they were imposters, but Roier tells him to accept that it was them. Missa doesn't stop; he says that something is wrong; something must have happened, as Spreen would never. Then he says that maybe their dream of making a taqueria shouldn't be done. Roier doesn't accept this, however, saying that even Vegetta understands that they must do a taqueria. Roier then tells Missa that he'll get revenge on Spreen and Quackity, even if Missa doesn't want revenge because they were the ones that beat and hurt him. He continues telling Missa that he's going to keep pretending to be their friend and, when they least expect it, betray them as they did him. Missa says not to do something he'll regret. Missa, in his fit of despair and sadness over the loss of his cat, says that he cannot keep living in that home with Roier. Once again Missa blames everything on Roier, he goes on to say that this was all because of Roier's desire for tacos.
Missa: All because of your desire for tacos. Roier this is all your fault if you hadn't- if you hadn't planned on making a taqueria..
After saying this, Missa goes to leave, but before that, Roier asks if Missa is really going to leave him alone like that. Missa says that he isn't alone; he has his tacos and then walks out of the house they built with a future together in mind. A future that no longer existed from that moment forward.
Roier stays silent for a while before he says, "Not you too, Missa." He, in a fit of rage, starts breaking the trail of poppies Osito Bimbo had left him. In disbelief that any of this had happened.
Roier: Missa, Spreen, Quackity, who's next? Mariana? Is Mariana next? I only have Vegetta and Mariana. I only have Vegetta and Mariana.
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In the end, Roier is left alone without his dog, without the cat, without Spreen, and without Missa.
VOD 6 | Missa, after having composed himself, concludes that while he doesn't believe Spreen would hurt his cat, he also doesn't want to fight with Roier. So he runs to their home to say sorry, but once he arrives, Roier is no longer there. Minutes too late, as Roier had logged off. So instead, he leaves a chest with a poppy inside as a sign that there's no bad blood between them. As well as a sign saying it's for Roier.
What's important to mention is that Missa had a heavy amount of trust placed in Spreen because it was his brother, and he couldn't fathom Spreen doing something so terrible. Something quite ironic about the cat is that Roier was the one who warned Missa not to adopt a cat in case anyone used it against them. *(2) Explaining that an emotional attachment to a cat would only open the possibility of hurt in the future. And in the end, that is exactly what happened.
— Citations —
*(1) VOD | Spreen finding the globe. 1:42:32
*(2) VOD | Roier warning Missa about adopting a cat. 4:15:13
All the other information can be found in the respective VODs linked.
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00ops1e · 1 year
Text
taskforce 141 + könig x sick! reader
warnings: emetophobia trigger warning, mentions of puking/being sick, fluff, hurt/comfort maybe??, not proofread a/n: omg here it is. the first cod thing ive written! but not actually theres some filth hiding in my documents. this is totally lowkey a self insert. geared towards female! reader but if you squint at the petnames could be gn. i've been so so sick lately and tbh scares me a lil but what cant be fixed by fictional men?? nothing.
Ghost
 A little bit of a germaphobe
Will take off his mask, but replace it with a medical mask
Only so he can still hold you, just with a peace of mind
He does NOT want to get sick too
Because then how could he take care of you?
Always has a puke bowl at the ready
Orders your favorite takeout, even if you don’t feel like eating
Because hes a firm believer in leftovers.
Which may just be the cause of this
But you'd never tell him. poor man would get so guilty he had forgotten to throw it away.
Puts on a movie and lets you fall asleep on his chest
I feel like he’s a cold-blooded type of person, doesn’t generate much heat
but makes up for it in comfort
so many blankets
so so many. 
Checks your temperature in your sleep
Lowkey counts respirations just to be sure
Makes sure you keep hydrated
Will bring you to urgent care if he’s really worried
No matter how much you protest!
Soap
Squeamish when it comes to throwing up
Will try his very best to stay with you, but sometimes ends up running from the room
Because the last thing he'd wanna do is gag at you
While hes ran away he gets a cold rag to press on your forehead, and clean you up a bit in the process
"yer hidin? awh bonnie i wasnt meanin' to embarrass ye" he says while taking your chin in his hand, forcing you to meet his eyes
"sickness and health yeah? i wanna take care of you"
Insists on rubbing vicks/ vaporub on you
Not because hes a little perv (he is)
But because he loves you and the sniffles break his little heart
peppers kisses across your collarbones, vicks smell clogging his nose
but he’s too focused on the goosebumps that rise on your skin, your little shivers
“Awh, my poor sick lass,”
Constantly checking for a fever
Forcing you to stay in bed, even after you feel better, “not takin chances, rest up.”
this man on the other hand is a human space heater
throwing a blanket on and off the two of you, getting too hot and then shortly after too cold. 
not as convenient when it’s hot out lol
head rubs 
head rubs
Gaz
Tries to bring you to a doctor/ urgent care immediatley
Will try to call an ambulance over a slight fever
Stocks up on pedialyte/makes sure youre hydrated
Cuddles constantly, does not care if he catches anything
loves being the big spoon so he can lay in the crook of your neck and still hold onto you tight 
Has extra blankets on deck
entertains you with silly little jokes
but then apologizes while giggling because you laughed so hard it hurt a little. 
Will feed you cold medicine/tums
teases you when you complain about taking them
“i don’t need you gettin any grumpier love”
Will hold back your hair/ stroke your back while youre getting sick
gets offended when you get embarrassed about it
“are you judging my girl?” he teases you
Tries his best to cook, but lowkey fails miserably
Resorts to cup of noodles and lipton packets. 
Price
Such dad vibes
Will make soup or other comfort foods from scratch
And his cooking skills are unmatched
Runs you a shower/bath and washes your hair for you
back rubs and massages
pressing small kisses to your shoulders as he works
also a human heater but not too hot, just the perfect temperature 
also just the perfect shape to spoon you, cradling every inch of your body
“I hate it when my baby’s sick,” he says, rubbing soft circles into your side
Doesnt even have to make a pharmacy run because hes so well prepared
Feeds you medicine, on the dot, every few hours after it wears off
(he totally sets reminders in his phone. [typing like an old person with reading glasses on])
Will stay in bed all day with you, quietly typing and mumbling to himself while you nap at his side
occasionally leaning down to kiss your forehead while he works
the computer goes away as soon as you wake up
"how're you feeling princess?"
loves having you in his arms, pulled close to his chest
Carries you to bed if you fall asleep on the couch (bridal style ofc)
Will hold your hair back, refuses to leave your side
“Of course youre not gross darling, we all get sick,”
Konig
rubs your back as you're hunched over the toilet
will sit down with you on the floor, back up against the bathtub when its too much of a risk to leave the bathroom
just wants to keep you company :(
"take as long as you need, liebling"
fills up the tub while still convincing you to get in
he promises you'll feel better after
caves and offers to join you as a last resort to get you cleaned up
Long baths, cuddling in the warm water
Letting the steam clear your sinus
Brushes and braids your hair
when you start feeling better but are still running a fever, hes worried.
but youre dealing with a burst of energy and simply must start with the housework
konig will put you over his shoulder and escort you back to bed
will paint your nails in bed to entertain you, anything to keep you still and in bed
Lets you put your cold feet on him, but only when you dont feel good
totally unprepared because i feel like this man has an immune system of steel
makes a quick pharmacy run, but has to call you for the shopping list bc oops he forgot 
depending on how sick you are, lets you come along for the ride
“promise you’ll stay in the car ja?”
always returns with a sweet little treat or small gift/toy for you
“gesundheit!” as he chuckles at your sneeze 
jokes that maybe he should put a mask on you
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hana-no-seiiki · 7 months
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might be running a little late on the spiderverse post (and by little i mean it’ll prolly be posted this weekend instead when all of us are free) cause i got assigned a task for skewl last minute 😭😭😭😭 so ill just give you guys this short fic/drabble w/ Cat Villain Reader for now that has been rotting in drafts for a bit.
please read my previous cat villain posts for more context !!
If you were to give a rank of the most punchable face in the Batfam, it’d be Damian. No surprise there in hindsight, but the fact that he managed to beat his own dad — the one that left your one true love to die — still astounded you.
Despite his reputation and the fact above, Damian had more calm moments with you than any of his predecessors. It may have been due to other factors; you being older and more mature (less of a brat), that you didn’t hate his guts, or that he wasn’t a masochist like Tim.
But the biggest reason was Talia.
You don’t get how the woman fell for Bruce but she did, and you knew she would do anything for him. You’ve fought her before and she was no joke.
And, she was the only person who helped you with Jason. Who didn’t scoff at your violent reaction towards his death. Who actually understood you, rather than ply you with words of comfort.
So, of course, you were a lot more gentle when it came to her son. Even during his more verbally abusive phase.
Recently however, you’ve noticed a change.
“What?” Damian glared at you (I say as if he looks at you in any other way other than glaring)
“Nothing.” You looked away, your mouth forming a pout. Damn him for having great observational skills even through both of your masks and while you guys were in the middle of a fight.
“Were you just staring at my arms?”
“No!” You shouted in offence. “. . . Yes.”
But how dare of him to be right anyways! It wasn’t your fault his new fit looked tighter on his toned biceps.
In any case, that’s where the change really started to be obvious. Usually after that he’d knock you out or screech curses, but now… now he’d —
“Keep looking. You’re easier to catch when distracted.”
You immediately felt your knees go weak.
The nicknames, too. Good god the nicknames. Some of them were still as degrading as ever, but you also noticed a sudden rise of sweeter ones, some in his mother tongue, others just plain corny.
“Hey Kitty, get your food elsewhere.” Damian greeted you from behind.
Damian never greeted you.
Your fights and/or meet-ups always started with a little roughhousing.
Which, as of the moment, was not happening just yet. Not to mention he didn’t even take advantage of your surprised state.
And so you turn invisible.
Ever the sharp eyed man that he was, he quickly spotted you from the sound of your movements. Yet he doesn’t attack. In the blink of an eye, he appeared right behind you, seizing your arms and whispered, “Did that make you purr?”
You licked him in response. Safe to say that you were smacked down afterwards.
You were starting to think that Damian liked you.
Of course, even though you were confident to a fault, you weren’t conceited. So in order to test that theory, you managed to switch your heists up for when he wasn’t on duty.
And from what you hear from Tim, he hasn’t been doing so great.
So terrible his days have been in fact that he had been sloppy enough to get caught. While the rest of his team was busy fighting you took the opportunity to sneak in. A favour for Talia’s help, you thought.
“Fool! What are you—“ Damian shouted at you. The villain they were fighting was no joke. If you had gotten caught —
His sermon gets interrupted by a kiss from you to the lips. You even shove your tongue down his throat for good measure.
You separate from him after a few minutes.
You think from the fact that he pulls you back in and kisses you as his friends were screaming in the background made it clear that he more than just liked you.
Maybe even loved you…
— to be continued
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hearts4golbach · 8 months
Note
specifically colby brock smut with like a breeding kink and daddy kink
Mama.
Colby Brock x Fem!Reader.
smut.
"colby! we're going to be late!" I called up the stairs, only slightly annoyed at his bad perception of time.
"Sorry, love. I'm coming." he responded, pounding down the stairs before stopping to admire my dress.
it was an emerald green dress that went all the way down to my ankles.  I paired it with black heels. I didn't bother spending time on jewelry, seeing as we were about to be late.
Colby may as well have been drooling, admiring every part of my body. My face heated up as i looked away.
"so fuckin' beautiful." colby muttered before pecking my lips. "Don't forget a jacket, it's freezing outside."
"I know, colbs." I smiled softly. I grabbed my simple black zip up. "So, why are we going to a fancy restaurant again?"
"Sam wants to talk about business shit, but we've also been planning to try this place for a really long time." Colby shrugged, opening the front door for me. I thanked him and walked out to the car.
-
Colbys hand rested on my thigh, his fingers forming dark shadows on the fabric. he gently massaged my thigh, squeezing me before letting go and running his thumb over me gently. I crossed my legs and looked out the window, earning a smirk from colby, but he didn't comment.
the restaurant was overwhelming. the exterior designs looked like something you'd see whilst learning about the Roman empire. Needless to say, it was gorgeous. no wonder they had wanted to come here for so long, but there was no doubt in my mind it'd be expensive.
colby jogged to the other side of the car and opened the door for me, gently grabbing my hand to help me out. I thanked him and kissed his cheek. he intertwined his fingers with mine as we walked inside the restaurant.
the waiter led us to the table that Sam had reserved, which he was already sitting at waiting for us. whenever he saw us, he stood up to hug me and Colby. He pulled Sam in, placing a "manly" slap on his back before Sam turned to me and enveloped me in a warm hug.
we took our seats, and they got straight to work, planning out the next videos they wanted to record and how exactly they were going to do that. I zoned out, staring at colbys veiny hands. my fingers fondled with my dress, gathering it gently.
Colby gently grabbed my thigh, drawing my attention towards him. "y/n, you okay?" I glanced around, noticing Sam was ordering his food.
"yeah, I'm good!" I reassured with a smile. "my mind was just wandering, I guess."
he smirked, "wandering, huh?"
I rolled my eyes as I felt my face heat up, "shut up."
he smiled before kissing my cheek and ordering his food. the waiter eventually got to me and I ordered mine.
he kept his hand rested on my thigh, only moving it to gesture towards Sam. I sipped my drink, listening as they planned.
"hey, y/n," sam turned towards me, "what do you think about tagging along next video?"
my face flushed, "I, uh, I'm not very good on camera." I admitted.
"come on! it'll be fun!" Colby squeezed my thigh lightly.
I pondered for a moment before sighing. "fine."
-
I walked inside, tossing my purse on the counter before walking up the stairs to me and colbys shared bedroom. he followed behind me, rambling about how excited he was for me to be in a video. Social media knew about me, but they've never really met me, so I was getting excited too. I loved it when he rambled, i loved hearing his voice.
"I know colbs, I'm excited too." I smiled, opening the bedroom door. I sat on the bed and sighed.
colby pressed a kiss to my forehead before kneeling down in front of me.
"hi?" I say, confused. I watch as he takes off my heels for me, making my face heat up as I giggled. "thank you, babe."
"of course," he stands up, standing in between my legs and placing his hands on either side of the bed. he leaned down and kisses my lips gently.
I kissed him back, opening my mouth slightly, allowing entrance. his tongue danced with mine as his hands moved up to my hips. I placed a hand on my chest as he leaned me back onto the bed, crawling on top of me. I began to take off his shirt, trying my best not to break the kiss. He assists me before smashing his lips on mine again as his hands find his way down to my ass. they grip lightly into the fabric, letting a soft moan escape from my lips. his hands slide up to my waist. the fabric dragged up my legs, bunching around my upper thighs.
"Colbs," I mutter, pressing up into him. he growled against my lips, he trembled with desire.
Colbys hands slipped behind me and began to slowly unzip the dress. I kissed his tattoo before leaving light hickeys across his toned chest. "God, you're so perfect." he kissed me hard, claiming me more than he already had.
"please, colby." I breathe out, gripping my nails into his shoulder blades.
"please, what?" he smirked against my lips before pulling away. his hand gently grabbed my jaw, caressing my face. he pulled my lower lip down before letting it back up with a pop. "that's not my name, hon. you know that."
"please fuck me, daddy." I stuttered, staring up at him with wide, lust filled eyes.
he smirked, "flip over for me, babe." I did as told, "you know what to do, bend over."
my face flushed as I felt my panties get increasingly wet. I bent over the bed, glancing back at colby. he bunched up my dress around my waist, revealing my lacy panties. he gripped my ass before lightly slapping it. I jumped slightly, biting my lip to avoid letting out a low moan.
I heard his belt unbuckling and his jeans hit the floor. his hand snaked around me before putting his fingers in front of my mouth. "spit, baby."
I licked over his middle and pointer finger, sucking them gently before giving in and spitting. he hummed in approval.
he used my spit as lube, stroking his hard cock before teasing my entrance. I tried to push back onto him, but he placed one hand on my hip to keep me still. his finger tips gripped into my skin, I knew there were going to be bruises in the morning. "colbs-" I moan softly, turning my head to make eye contact with him.
his eyes were dark with lust. his tip pushed slowly into my entrance, making me let out a quiet moan as I felt him begin to fill me up. "oh, fuck, baby. you're so wet."
he forced his cock in the rest of the way, making my jaw drop. I dug my fingers into the black sheets on the bed. "oh, fuck.."
"you're so good for daddy, huh?" he muttered, speeding up his pace slightly. I felt his cock pump in and out of me, making my eyes squeeze shut. "I want you to have my baby someday, yeah?"
I nodded eagerly. "oh, shit- please, daddy. give it to me." I felt one hand slide up my back while the other stayed on my hip. he pushed me down, making me arch so he had a better angle.
"jesus, look at that pretty pussy." he cooed. I pushed back, grinding myself on him. he let out a low moan, gripping tighter onto me. "fuck, you're so good for me." he quickened his pace, wet sounds filled the room. "you'd be such a good mama, huh?" he pondered aloud.
a string of curses flowed out of my mouth as my walls kept clenching around him tightly. "oh my- just like that."
"you want more, babe?" He said breathlessly, letting out a small whimper. "what do you say?"
"fuck, daddy, please! give me all of you." I moan loudly, resting my head onto the sheets.
he simply nodded, gripping onto me tightly as he thusted into me fast. I felt his dick begin to twitch ever so often as my stomach began to knot.
"How close are you, ma?" he asked, pulling my hair back so I made eye contact with him.
"'m so close, don't stop." I said breathlessly, feeling sweat forming on my forehead.
"Where do you want me?" he asked, continuing his pace.
"Inside," I mutter out before moaning again.
"Really? oh, fuck- our babies are going to be so pretty, just like you." his voice shook slightly.
he quickened his pace, feeling my walls convulsing around him. "I'm gonna cum, colbs."
"cum for me, baby." he said, thrusting into me one last time before releasing inside of me.
the feeling of his warm liquid filling me up sent me over the edge, my orgasm hitting me hard.
he collapsed next to me, placing a kiss on my forehead before pulling me in.
he hummed, "I love you."
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kurishiri · 2 months
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epilogue . . . happy birthday, alfons! ˗ˏˋ🪞´ˎ˗
— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties for characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!
— please note that the entire story is told from alfons’ perspective. i also do recommend reading his past records with elbie for full enjoyment, but it’s not required!
— cw: mentions of death.
The chirping of the birds drew me out of my slumber.
And, if I listened closely... I could hear the gentle and even breathing of someone sleeping close by.
It felt warm and soft in my arms, and there was a nice scent too.
(...Surely, it must be a cat.)
(After all, there is simply no way... I could embrace a person like this and sleep until morning.)
That was my thought in my semi conscious state.
Kate: Mn...
But, upon hearing a voice that very clearly couldn’t belong to that of a cat, I opened my eyes.
When I did, there in my arms, Kate slept peacefully.
(...That’s right. Only you are a special case.)
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No matter how much I tried to lure her into a sweet illusion that treated her kindly, she would simply not let the real me before her escape. Truly, a pitiable, but ever the endearing person.
She was the only one by my side, even after time had passed like a dream.
(To feel so safe in my arms like this... she knows no caution, I see.)
Kate was always the first to get up out of the two of us, so to me, the sight of her deeply sleeping face was quite precious.
(Yesterday, thank you for celebrating my birthday so much.)
(But...)
(The ‘wonderful birthday plans’ you had painted in your mind... if you knew that I would have rather it all crumbled to dust...)
(...you would surely be saddened.)
Since the moment I had allowed Kate in my heart, who had followed me nearly to the point of desperation...
...even though I had the resolve, there were times when I still wanted to distance myself from her as well.
(...And yesterday was one of those times.)
In order to find a way for me to escape the tragic fate I’d been dealt by my Curse, Kate had been trying hard to find leads,
which had ultimately resulted in a vain attempt...
Kate: This time may have come up empty... but I still haven’t given up!
Though she gave a firm smile, I could also see weariness seep through that she couldn’t completely conceal.
...And, when I saw that, I thought to myself, ‘If only you could fall out of love with me.’
(But alas, such was apparently not a possibility for Kate.)
(...That’s why, I wanted to make her plans for my birthday fail.)
As dictated by my inescapable fate, once I died, Kate would forget I ever existed.
When that time came, if we only made happy memories now, that part which had been filled with happiness would perhaps leave a hole in her chest, just like that.
(But, if there were some memories she’d rather not remember in the mix... even if she did forget me, she wouldn’t suffer over it.)
Sadness, anger, pain... if it were memories buried in such negative emotions, not remembering should actually be less painful.
Even if it was just a single memory, it would be alright if I could mix in something like failures on my birthday that could make her think that, even if she forgot this, she wouldn’t mind.
(So, that’s why I made love to her so much the night before my birthday so she would wake up late,)
(and took her to a place I knew was rumored to have bad food when the restaurant she reserved was closed.)
(But...)
When I saw her face scrunch up when she ate the food, I instantly regretted having done something so foolish.
And as if to atone for that, I ate all of the unsavory food on my plate, and seeing the bad luck persist through the day,
blunders followed Kate, even beyond my control.
As they piled up one after another, Kate felt more and more down, and I couldn’t bear to watch that.
So then...
—— Flashback ——
Alfons: No matter if the present comes out as you have planned, or something has gone awry…
A: Your goal to make this a birthday that stays in my memory is going quite swimmingly, I’d say? You have my congratulations.
—— End flashback ——
Trying to weave words in my own way, I encouraged Kate so she wouldn’t feel so down.
(Of course, not a single word I said back then to Kate was a lie.)
(...In the end, she ended up leaving a mark in my memory, as she had hoped.)
(And, as for me, who wished to make this birthday end in shambles, it did not go as I had hoped.)
Alfons: ...To the very end, I can’t win against you.
Murmuring this as I planted a kiss, I quietly left the room.
(...Now then, I should make breakfast for her, once in a while.)
Out of gratitude for giving me a most fun birthday, and out of guilt for wishing that her plans would fail,
I decided to take care of Kate this morning.
And on the way, I ran into someone I didn’t expect——Elbert.
Elbert: Let’s play a game of Dead or Alive.
That was the game I occasionally initiated with Elbert, a death game with two players, but where only one would emerge victorious.
Alfons: ...Well, I’ll be, this is quite abrupt, no? And on top of that, you are the one initiating the game... color me surprised.
Elbert: It was your birthday yesterday, Al. So, you can think of it as a special game.
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In both of Elbert’s hands were two glasses. Its contents were perhaps wine.
Elbert: It is a game between just the two of us. And there is one incorrect answer.
His smile resembled that of a beautiful angel — or perhaps that of a impish demon,
as Elbert held the glasses my way.
Elbert: Would you like the glass on the right, or the left?
I didn’t know if something would happen in this game that Elbert had prepared.
(In regards to outward appearances, they both look completely the same. Perhaps he mixed something colorless in one of them...?)
(Let’s see... to see which one is the incorrect answer, and which is the correct one...)
Elbert: If you do not choose, I will go first.
Alfons: ...Come again now?
As I was thinking, Elbert took the glass in his right hand, and without waiting for an answer, downed the entire glass.
Elbert: ...It’s good.
Alfons: To see such an unruffled expression on your face, it would be safe to assume the glass you chose was the correct glass, no?
Elbert: I was the one who made the preparations for the game, so I am aware which is correct and not.
Alfons: ...You chose first while knowing the correct and incorrect answers... would I not be pulling the short end of the stick?
Elbert: You seemed quite hesitant to choose, so that is why. ...Next is your turn, Al.
(...Goodness gracious, just what is going through his mind right now?)
The only glass that remained was the ‘incorrect’ glass.
(That said, I am almost entirely certain he wouldn’t mix in a lethal poison...)
(...but seeing as there’s no way for me to tell, I can only drink what’s in the glass.)
For the briefest of moments, I hesitated taking the glass, but then I subsequently took it, downing its contents.
Alfons: ...
Elbert: Well?
Alfons: I see that it’s some quite delicious grape juice. The kind that Kate would like, I reckon.
Elbert: There is some in the kitchen as well, so you should take some to bring to Kate.
Alfons: I am feeling fine and dandy, though... was the one you drank perhaps the incorrect glass?
Elbert: No.
Alfons: So that is to say that both glasses were correct...
A: ...the ‘Dead’ part of the game is nowhere to be found. All we played was a game of Alive or Alive then, no?
Even now, I didn’t know what Elbert wanted out of this game.
Elbert: ...No, someone did die.
E: I watched you die, just before you took the glass in your hand.
(‘Just before I took the glass’...?)
Just as I was about to ask just what he was saying, it was then I realized.
(Ahh...)
(...I see how it is now.)
I had indeed hesitated when I took the glass that I had thought was incorrect.
And that hesitation was unmistakable proof of a craving for life that had not been within me before.
(The me who thought ‘it didn’t matter when I died’... has indeed died.)
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Alfons: ...If I had died and reincarnated, I do so wonder what I would become.
Elbert: Who knows? But... I am sure it would not be anything strange.
E: As long as Kate is by your side, that is.
When I prepared breakfast and returned to my room, Kate was in the middle of getting dressed.
Kate: Ah... good morning, Alfons.
Alfons: Good morning. Would you care for some breakfast?
Kate: Very! I’m really hungry!
Alfons: Indeed, we did many things last night that warranted a workout. So that would come as no surprise.
As I was setting the food on the table, I turned to see Kate’s cheeks as red as an apple.
(She must be thinking about last night, I reckon. ...How honest and endearing of her, to be sure.)
Alfons: If you would like to immerse yourself in last night’s memories again, I would highly suggest looking at your body in the mirror. For you see, I left a plethora of marks—
Kate: Don’t make me remember all those naughty things we did first thing in the morning...!
With the redness of her cheeks persisting, Kate glared at me.
Such an expression resembled that of a cat, and that was adorable in its own right, but it was hardly my intention to spoil her mood.
Alfons: My apologies, it seems I went a step too far in teasing.
A: Would you cheer up for me? See, I have gone out and made breakfast.
Kate: ...! I’m all better now.
Just like that, her expression brightened, and Kate jovially took a seat. I, too, took a seat across from her.
(The me who ‘woke up every morning alone,’ and the me who ‘felt it was alright to die at any time’... they had all been killed by Kate.)
(And reborn in their places was the me who ‘embraced a precious Kate as I slept,’ and the me ‘who didn’t wish to die before her.’)
(I can’t help but wonder just what parts of me will die, and which parts will be born next?)
It was the day after my birthday, the morning sun filtering in the room.
This would surely end up carved in my heart, and hers, as a happy memory.
And finally, when the time came, those memories would perhaps end up hurting her.
In all honesty, flipping the table over here and now, and hurting Kate in the worst way possible
would, in the long term, be for her benefit.
(But... even so.)
Right now, I wanted to taste the flavor of happiness together with her to my heart’s content... and engrave it in me for eternity.
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← main story fin. letter →
full masterlist 🪞🍰 ╱ ko-fi ☕ (30% of proceeds will go to doctors without borders for donations $17↑)
END NOTES: friends, I think I may just have a thing for the star-crossed love but trying to make it work trope… the way Al was really soft here when he’s normally a more guarded character, I feel proud that he is able to be try and be more vulnerable 🥹🫶
and the way Al understands Elbie so well, too! I adore their unorthodox friendship a lot. (and though it’s not mentioned in this story, I think the fact that Al chose the date he met Elbie of all days as his birthday… I think it speaks to how they may be meant for each other in some sense.)
happy birthday, Al! may this year be full of happy memories for you as well 🪞
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absurdthirst · 9 months
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Unexpectedly Reunited {Joel Miller x F!Reader}
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 15.5k
Warnings: No Outbreak AU, cheating, infidelity, surprise reunions, flirting, mentions of loss of a child, seemingly unrequited love, past crushes, abandonment, fingering, vaginal sex, rougher sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), cum eating, feelings, miscommunication, angst, degrading comments
Comments: Running away to the Cape, you find someone you had never expected to see again. Joel Miller. The blast from the past manages to heal your broken heart and you learn where life has taken him to bring him here.
Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers
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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||
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Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.
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"You motherfucker!" You yell at your boyfriend who is currently buried inside of the co-worker he told you to not worry about despite you discovering him in your bed after you decided to surprise him with lunch since he works at home. He scrambles, pulling out of Sienna and you shake your head, "it's over. Get your shit out of my apartment. Today." You shriek and he covers himself up with the blanket you got from your mom for your birthday. 
"Baby please. Let me just-" He tries to explain but you cut him off. 
"Today, Jason. Today!" You yell, spinning on your heel and you rush out of your apartment with tears in your eyes. You sob as you get into your car, the lunch abandoned in the kitchen and you're no longer hungry. You sit there for hours, watching from afar as Jason moves his stuff from your place and you call your mom to tell her what happened. 
"I always told you he was a piece of shit, baby. He's an asshole. You're better off without him. Better to find this out now instead of later." She says softly. "Your aunt has that place on the Cape and she's in Italy for the next two weeks. Why don't you go there? Go relax and get out of town. Take time to get yourself together." She suggests.
The Cape, the idea has a certain appeal. Texas is currently hot, too hot, and you don’t want to be anywhere near your old group of friends and acquaintances. People that know Jason. People that might pity you, or secretly approve of him cheating on you. You imagine walking along the beach and letting the salty air seep into your skin. Maybe read a few books in a lounger and find some bar where you can just have a few drinks. Or, the house is nice, maybe you will just sit out on the deck and drink wine. “I guess. If I leave now, I could be there late tomorrow. Are you sure she won’t mind?” 
Your mom snorts through the line and you can imagine her face. “Of course not. Get your bag packed and get on the road. The key is in a little box on the garage door. Combination to open it is 9-26-13.” 
You sigh, watching as Jason closes the truck of the car with the last of his stuff. “Thanks mom, I’ll be on the road in twenty minutes. I don’t want to spend a night in that bed. I’m going to have to order another one.” 
When you arrive at your aunt’s house; you are exhausted and waste no time showering and getting into bed. The emotional drain of the past 36 hours is too much and you take a nap. When you wake up, it’s late and you have some of the snacks you brought with you while on the road. You’ll go food shopping tomorrow. You eventually fall back asleep, eager to explore tomorrow which comes far too soon when you’re woken up by drilling. You startle awake, checking the clock to see it’s 7:30 am and you whine, rubbing your eyes as you shuffle out of the bed, ready to reprimand the asshole who is drilling next door.
“Goddamn header.” Joel grunts out a curse, taking his hand off the hammer drill he had been using to wipe the sweat that is rolling into his eyes. “Send me some fuckin’ lumber that’s straight and I’ll fix the goddamn thing.” High up on the scaffolding, he’s cursing everyone from the lumber distributor to himself for taking this job. It’s been a shit show and it doesn’t seem like anything is going to go his way today.
You wrap your robe around yourself and huff as you stomp outside, raising your hand to cover your eyes from the early morning sun as you look up at the scaffolding. “Excuse me!” You yell and Joel continues drilling. “Excuse me!” You yell again and the drilling continues. “Fuck me!” You scream and the drilling stops. 
“That’s a mighty nice offer darlin’ but I barely know you.” Joel jokes as he removes his headset. 
“Why the hell are you drilling at this time in the morning?” You yell at him and he sets the drill down so he can climb down the scaffolding to talk to you. You wait, tapping your foot impatiently. 
“I was hired to do this job. I have a permit. I am starting early to avoid the rain this afternoon. Not that I have to explain myself to - wait…do I know you?” Joel asks, frowning as he removes his sunglasses to get a better look at you.
When it dawns on him who you are, his eyes widen and he murmurs your name. Never expecting to see you again. “Holy shit. What are you doing on the east coast?” He asks when he can speak again. The last time he had seen you was at his wedding. After that day, you had just….ghosted him, making him feel like your friendship had meant nothing.
As soon as he says your name you recognize him. “Joel? Joel Miller?” You gasp in shock. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the man that was your teenage crush. He was your next door neighbor and a lot older than you but you always had such a massive crush on him. You became friends after you got back from college to live with your parents again and that’s when you truly fell in love with him. Then he met Helen and you knew he would never feel the same way. Resigned to being his friend, you supported him but always secretly hoped he’d realize what was right in front of him. He didn’t and you ended up leaving town after watching him marry Helen on a beautiful summer day. He’s just as handsome. Shit, just as sexy. “I- this is my aunt’s house. You know the one who is a journalist.” You explain, “I- I came here to escape the Texas heat.” You lie, “what the hell are you doing here?” You ask, genuinely curious how a typical Texan like Joel is in the northeast.
Joel’s expression shutters, his eyes flattening slightly and he grunts. “Work.” He lies, having sensed you are lying too. You have puffy eyes, like you’ve been spending a lot of time crying, though you’re still just as beautiful as the last time he saw you. “Like I’m tryin’ to do now. But it’s a bitch and-“ he twists his neck towards the dark clouds rolling in from the west. “I want to get this sealed up before the rain starts.”
You nod, “I understand. Sorry for yelling. I just got in last night from Texas and I’m exhausted from driving nonstop. I didn’t expect the work to be done so early. I’m awake now, so carry on. I’m gonna get some coffee. Anywhere local you’d recommend?” You ask when his eyes meet yours once more and you are taken back by how handsome he is. Your memories did him no justice.
He feels bad for being rude, sighing slightly and wiping his forehead again. “Two blocks over there’s a dinner called The Fungus Among Us.” He tells you with a grin. “Vegan place, really into mushrooms, but they have great coffee. You just have to use their non-dairy creamers.”
The last person you expected to frequent a vegan cafe is Joel who used to enjoy platefuls of barbecue at the family cookouts back when you were younger and you chuckle, “you gone vegan on me?” You ask and he shakes his head, “no. Still love some ribs but I can appreciate good coffee.” You hum and he shrugs. “I’m gonna go get changed. You want me to bring you a coffee back?” You offer, wanting to make up for being rude.m
“I’m good.” He looks up towards the sky again. “Too fuckin’ hot for coffee up here.” He looks back down and smirks slightly. “Hurry up before you get wet. New England summer showers are no joke.”
You nod, “I’ll be fast. I, uh, I’ll see you around. It was great to see you again.” You wave awkwardly at him as he flips his sunglasses back down. You aren’t sure if he’s married or has kids or what his situation is so you don’t want to overstep by suggesting a reunion of some kind. 
“See you around, sweetheart.” Joel says and you offer him a smile, “bye Joel.” You say as you head back into your aunts house to get ready.
He won’t deny that he watches you when you re-emerge from the large cottage next door, or as you walk down the street. His eyes follow you as he takes what he tells himself is a five minute break. He was rude to you. And the Joel you had known wouldn’t have done that. He sighs, twisting around and trying to pop his aching back before he glances at the cloud again. They are rolling in fast and he only has about twenty minutes to finish up for the day. “Shit, Miller, get to work.”
You return back with your coffee - a good recommendation from Joel - and you’re disappointed when you don’t see him working. You feel the droplets of rain and decide to have your coffee then go grocery shopping after the rain has come and gone.
****
The drilling happens a little later around 8:45am the next morning and you look out of the bathroom window to see Joel working on the house. He lifts his shirt up to wipe his face and you can’t deny that your jaw drops. He’s still as sexy as you ever thought he was but then you remind yourself that he’s married and you shake your head to clear your lust. You decide to walk to the coffee shop again and head outside just as Joel jumps from the last section of scaffolding. “Sure I can’t get you a coffee?” You ask him, “I’m gonna head over there now.”
“I think I owe you a drink, since I was kind of an ass yesterday.” Joel admits, shuffling slightly and wiping his hands on a work rag before tossing it down. “I’ve got a few minutes, can walk over there with you, if you want?” He leaves it up to you, knowing that you might not want to do anything more than be nice.
You offer him a smile, “I’d like that.” You say and he nods, grabbing his keys and he yells out to his partner to keep an eye on things. You walk along with him and you’re quiet for a minute or so before you ask “so how long have you lived here?”
It takes Joel a moment to think back and he sighs. “Fuck.” He snorts. “Nearly ten years? Hard to think about but I’ve not even seen you in nearly twenty-five.” He wants to ask why you just stopped talking to him and coming around after he had married Helen. He hadn’t even been able to tell you that she had been a few months pregnant because his wife had wanted to keep it silent until after the first trimester. 
"Has it really been that long?" You shake your head, "I- wow. It feels like yesterday you were just getting married. Is Helen enjoying it here?" You ask, not noticing his lack of wedding band but you haven't really had a chance to look at his hands.
Joel snorts. “Helen left me when-” He breaks off and there’s that familiar ache in his chest at the thought of Sarah. “A year after we got married. Don’t know where she’s at, don’t really care, if I’m honest.” She had abandoned her child, something that he could never understand or accept. “What about you? Sure you’re married and happy, husband on a business trip and you decided to take a vacation?” 
It’s your turn to snort, “no. No. I, uh, I haven’t been married. I - I walked in on my boyfriend fucking his coworker in my apartment so I told him to pack his shit and be gone by the time I get back. Decided to take a break to avoid the pity looks and whispers around town.” You confess, glancing down the street as you adjust your purse on your shoulder.
“Wow. You must have been with a real douche bag.” Joel scoffs. “I can’t believe anyone would be stupid enough to cheat on you. There’s no fucking way he’s right in the head.” He shakes his head and huffs. “Idiot. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear that. But that bastard didn’t deserve you.”  
You offer him a self deprecating smile. “I appreciate you being pissed for me. I pretty much cried the entire way to the Cape. I- I thought he was gonna propose. I’m an idiot. I believed all his lies and I- I thought he was going to be the one.” You shake your head at your own stupidity. “Well, at least someone to spend the rest of my life with.”
“You’ll find someone better.” He predicts. “Someone who cheats on you isn’t worth your time. Or your tears.” Joel looks over at you and gives you a small smile. “Maybe you’ll find one of those romance story type guys here on the Cape.” 
You chuckle, “who is already married or has more skeletons in his closet than a haunted house. I think I’ll accept the reality that I’m destined to be alone and I think I’m okay with that. It’s not too bad. Getting to do whatever you want without answering to anyone. Romance is - it’s just something they sell to give people hope.” You confess with a sigh, “I’ll stick to reading about it in novels.” You chuckle softly and turn into the coffee shop, about to open the door but Joel does a little jog to open it before you can. “Don’t lose hope. You never know who’s gonna appear.” He says and you bite your lip as you brush past him, knowing he’s the man you’ve always envisioned when you read those romance novels.
The inside of the cafe is trendy, quirky. It seems like a place where Joel would look completely out of place with his buttoned up shirt and jeans, heavy boots. No one has given him shit about it and been friendly, even though he stays away from a lot of their menu. “Have you tried the muffins? They are pretty good.” 
You shake your head, “no. I had the chia pudding the other day.” You giggle when he wrinkles his nose. “The blueberry muffin sounds good.” You hum, crossing your arms, “and a latte. You seem like a black coffee kind of guy.”
“Only way to drink coffee.” Joel agrees with a smirk. He guides you to a table and pulls out a chair for you. “I know you probably like all those syrups and half pump venti shits.” He rolls his eyes, although he likes the way you sound when you snicker. 
“I’m a vanilla girl.” You reveal and Joel raises his eyebrows playfully. “For my coffee order.” You clarify with a smirk and he walks over to the counter to order your drinks and he returns with a blueberry muffin for you. “You didn’t have to pay.” You shake your head and he shrugs, “to make up for the early morning wake up calls.” He explains and You offer him a soft smile, reaching out to touch his hand, “thank you. I- I’ve missed you, you know?”
“You missed me so much you just….disappeared?” Joel asks, wanting to know why. “I tried calling you a couple of times. Wanted you to come out with me and Helen to dinner. You just didn’t ever call me back.” 
You sigh, withdrawing your hand. “I…it was complicated.” You glance around the coffee shop, feeling his eyes burn into you. “I couldn’t stay after you…I had to get out of town and figure out what I wanted. I’m sorry I disappeared but it was for the best. You had a new life…a wife. You didn’t need me hanging around.”
It’s not an answer that satisfies him, but from the set of your jaw, you won’t give him a proper explanation. “I- you missed a lot, obviously. I had wanted to tell you that Helen was pregnant. We weren’t announcing it before the ceremony.”
You swallow harshly, not realizing that he’s a father. “Did Helen…you have a - wow. That’s - I didn’t know. No one told me - my parents didn’t tell me anything. I asked them not to.” You finish with a murmur, shifting to sit back and look at Joel just as they call his name to get the coffees.
Joel stands up, happy to go get the drinks and muffins so he doesn’t have to show how that idea upsets him. Why does he care after twenty-five years? He shouldn’t. Bringing the tray over to the table, he sets it down and doles out the items quietly.
You bite your lip as you look at him, he’s broader than ever. He was gorgeous when he was younger and he’s still gorgeous with the grays scattered in his hair. “Is your kid in the Cape or elsewhere?” You ask him, wanting to change the subject.
Joel frowns slightly, looking down at his coffee. “No.” He tells you. “She- she died. Twelve years ago. It’s why I moved here. I couldn’t live in Texas anymore.”
Your brow furrows as you gasp softly. “Oh. Oh Joel. I’m so sorry. I- shit. Me and my big mouth. I’m so sorry. Oh God. That - that’s terrible.” You choke, squeezing the coffee cup in your hand as you see the devastation in his eyes.
“It was a long time ago.” The wound is still fresh and if it were anyone else, he wouldn’t even bring it up. But you had never met Sarah, you didn’t know how wonderful she was.
“I’m sorry Joel. I know that doesn’t mean shit when you endure that kind of pain but…I really am sorry.” You say and reach out to squeeze his hand again. “I understand why you left to come here.” You tell him and his dark eyes meet yours, clouded over with the pain of losing a child. “Do you…do you maybe want to come over for dinner sometime? Catch up properly? I meant what I said. I’ve missed you.”
His immediate response is to tell you no. That it wasn’t necessary, but he can’t get the words out. “Sure.” He figures it’s a nicety. That you are saying that and then you’ll politely avoid him.
You sip your coffee as he goes quiet. Joel was never one for small talk. “So have you got a wife or girlfriend here?” You ask after a few moments, wondering if that’s why he was hesitant to accept an offer to catch up over dinner.
“No, nothing like that.” He shakes his head, frowning slightly when he remembers Tess. He should have been better to her, but he ran out of time. “Not anymore,” he adds, looking back down at his cup. “So how long are you here?”
"Two weeks. Figured that was enough time for the dust to settle and for that asshole to get his shit out of my apartment." You sigh, looking down at the table before you flick your eyes up to meet his. "I really am sorry we lost touch. All I can say is it's complicated and too much time has passed to dig into it all again."
“Yeah.” Joel just shrugs. “It’s in the past.” He knows he’s changed a lot from the man you used to know. He’s harder, his heart is cold and most times people are wary of him. “People change, move on, whatever.”
You frown at his pessimism and you know he’s changed but he always used to be so playful and fun. Life has been hard for both of you, especially Joel. You finish your muffin and soon you’re walking back to your aunt’s house. “You wanna come for dinner tomorrow?” You offer, not wanting to end this interaction on a spur note.
“Sure.” He finds himself agreeing, not minding your company and he would love a meal he didn’t cook for himself. Or Ellie cooked. “Oh- uh, I should have told you. Can someone come with me?” He asks, not sure if you’d want a kid around.
You are surprised but don't ask who, wondering if he has a friend or something. "Uh, sure. Yeah. That's fine. Any allergies or things they don't like?" You ask, wanting to be sure before you plan what you want to cook.
“Nahhhh.” Joel snorts, shaking his head at the crazy things that Ellie has eaten. “She’ll eat anything. Nearly indestructible stomach, I swear.”
You are curious, barely able to swallow down the inquiries but you manage and offer him a smile, "sounds good. Wanna say seven?" You ask and he nods. You stand on your aunt's driveway and Joel rubs the back of his neck. "I'll see you tomorrow." He says and you rock on your heels, crossing your arms. "See you tomorrow, Joel." You smile and watch for a second as he spins on his heel and makes his way back to the neighbor's house.
****
“So whoooo are we having dinner with?” Joel rolls his eyes and ramps down the urge to bite back with something sarcastic. That would only make the girl more curious about who you are. 
“She’s an old friend.” Joel explains, “she’s in town and I thought I might be good to not have to put up with your shit cooking for a night.” He reaches over and pulls on her ponytail, grinning when she scowls and slaps his hand away. 
“Hey man, not my fault your cooking tastes like shit. You taught me.”
You wipe down your apron as you watch the water boil for the pasta. The doorbell rings and you take the apron off, making your way over to the door to open it to greet Joel and his mystery guest. You had purposefully avoided looking out of the windows this morning when Joel was working. You are shocked when you see a teenager with Joel, having convinced yourself it was another woman and he was trying to hint at it but you didn't pick it up.
“Woah. She’s a babe!” Ellie’s eyes widen and she sends Joel a smirk. “No wonder you didn’t talk about her. You gotta date, old man? Why the hell are you bringing me with you?” 
Joel rolls his eyes and reaches up to smack the back of Ellie’s head. “Behave.” He warns her before apologizing to you. “Sorry. She’s feral. Not a goddamn manner in her body.”
You fluster at the girl's compliment and you look at Joel with a chuckle, "don't worry. I've had worse with my cousins and their kids." You promise and step aside so that he and the kid can enter. You tell her your name as she walks past you and she offers you a grin and tells you her name is Ellie. "Hope you like chicken parm." You hum as you shut the door behind you.
“I love anything that he didn’t cook.” She hooks her thumb over at Joel and smirks. “He thinks heating Chef Boy-r-dee is a good meal.” She tells you, knowing that Joel is shuffling in embarrassment and not caring a lick. She likes to bust his balls.
You chuckle, remembering how hopeless Joel was in the kitchen. He even called you up one night to ask you to rescue the meal he was trying to cook Helen for a date night. It had been hard to help but you would’ve done anything for him back then. Still would if you’re honest. You ask Ellie what she wants to drink when they enter the open plan kitchen. “Damnnn. This is a nice place you got here.” Ellie says and you shake your head, “it’s my aunt’s. I live in Texas.” You explain and Ellie glances at Joel. 
“Texas, huh?” She says, raising her eyebrows and Joel ignores her. 
“Yeah. Joel and I used to be neighbors.” You explain a little more.
“So you can tell me what he used to be like?” She asks conspiratorially. “Before he became so boring.”
You lean in conspiratorially towards Ellie. “He’s always been boring.” You whisper playfully and Joel rolls his eyes. 
Ellie nods, “makes sense.” You chuckle and Joel huffs, biting his lip to smother his smirk. 
“Joel has always been a good guy. Grumpy, but he has always done the right thing.” You say, “and he tries to let everyone think he’s a grumpy bastard but he’s actually got a good sense of humor.” You say and Ellie shakes her head, “he doesn’t laugh at my jokes!” She whines and you smirk, “oh he’s laughing. Just on the inside.”
“No, I’m not.” Joel grumps and huffs, trying to hide a smirk. He likes to bust on Ellie as much as she busts on him, just in different ways. If he tries to be too soft with the girl, she will shut down. “Hope it wasn’t too much trouble for dinner. We would have been good with pizza.”
You shake your head, “it’s nice to cook. I am usually so busy with work and my ex…he was a vegan which made it almost impossible to cook what I know but I love cooking. I’ve missed it. Hopefully it’s good.” You say and turn back to the stove to put the pasta on to cook. “You want a soda?” You ask Ellie, knowing Joel will want a beer. The teenager nods and you hand her a soda before handing Joel a bottle of beer. “Go sit at the table. Dinner will be right up.” You say as you set your glass of wine down.
“Ellie and I will clean up.” Joel offers. He might suck in the kitchen, but he knows how to clean up a mess and it wouldn’t be fair to expect you to wait on them. “Sound good?”
“You’re my guests.” You protest but Joel shakes his head, “we can do the dishes.” You sigh, knowing you’re best to not argue, and turn back to the stove. It doesn’t take long for you to set the serving dishes on the table. “Dig in.” You order and Ellie groans, “shit. That looks good.” 
“Ellie.” Joel warns softly and you chuckle, “hopefully it tastes good.”
“I'm sure it’s great.” Joel tells you with a quick smile as he cuts into the chicken cutlet. “Thank you, it’s nice to have a good meal.” He admits. Often times it was something from a box or fast food for them. “And did you remember what beer I drink? Or was it a lucky guess?”
You bite your lip and fluster slightly, “I, uh, I remembered.” You confess, having remembered every detail about the man opposite you. Your heart is still thumping when his dark eyes meet yours. 
Neither of you notice the way Ellie smirks as she cuts into her chicken. “This is fucking awesome. You’re a great cook. Right, Joel?” Ellie hints at her foster dad.
"Huh?" He's been trying not to make it obvious that he's having a moment with the chicken farm. Looking up, he sees that he's being asked a question. "Yeah, oh yeah, it's delicious." He praises. "I don't know if I've had chicken parm this good in forever." He promises.
Your stomach twists with their praise, pleased they are enjoying it and you dig in yourself, hungry after cooking for most of the afternoon. “So Ellie is your daughter?” You ask Joel and Ellie snorts, “he wishes. I’m just his foster kid. He and my mom were friends and when he found out I was in home after home, he took me in.” Ellie says and you smile, “always knew you were a softie.” You tease and Joel grunts his response.
The truth was more complicated and filled in infinitely more guilt. Joel had gone down a dark path after Sarah had died. He was Ellie's mother's dealer. Giving her the drugs even though she was using more and more and that it could kill her. He had told himself that it wasn't his problem until he had learned about Ellie. He had started avoiding the woman's calls until he learned she had died of an overdose. No other family other than Ellie, it had felt like it was his fault so he had done the work to become the kid's guardian.
You can sense there's more but you don't push. The three of you have small talk, Ellie mainly asking questions about what Joel was like when you knew him back in the day and you explain that you were good friends until he got married and you decided to leave town. "You left? And didn't keep in touch?" Ellie asks with a frown and you tap your fingers on the table, "it was complicated."
Joel snorts and doubts that, but he doesn't voice it. You keep saying it's complicated, but you won't even say more than that to him. Ellie rolls her eyes and sighs. "Just say you love him already. There. Done." She turns to Joel and pitches her voice up slightly. "Joel, I was in love with you so I couldn't stand to see you married." She says, pretending to be you before she looks back over at you with a shake of her head. "Now. Was that hard?"
Your jaw drops slightly as the teenager calls you out and reveals the reason you left within an hour of meeting you. "I, uh, it - um -" You stammer and Joel shakes his head. 
"Ellie. Don't be rude." He reprimands her and she waves her hand towards you, "I'm right, aren't I?" She asks and you stand up, grabbing your plate. 
"I have dessert. You like chocolate cake?" You ask and grab the teenager's plate.
“Stop being a little shit.” Joel hisses the moment you disappear out of sight. “She doesn’t love me. She’s just getting over a break up.” Ellie’s grin falls and she looks upset over her comments. “And you have to open your big mouth.”
You sigh as you cut into the cake you bought earlier and serve three plates. You carry them back over to the table on the tray and Ellie’s eyes widen as she takes it in. “Holy shit, that looks delicious.” She says and you chuckle, “I didn’t make this. I’m not a good baker.” You confess as you sit back down.
“I doubt that.” Joel tells you. “I’m sure you are a good baker, but Ellie never turns down cake.”
“I never do either.” You wink at Ellie, wanting to lighten the atmosphere and you dig into the cake. After the cake is eaten, Ellie tells you about her school and how she wants to learn to play the guitar. “Joel used to play guitar.” You reveal, remembering how you used to hear him practicing in his bedroom.
“You never told me that.” Ellie sounds downright offended that he had never told her about his musical proclivity. 
“Haven’t told you a lot.” He grunts, smirking slightly when she pouts at him. 
“But you can teach me, and then I won’t have to pay someone.” 
He chuckles and raises a brow at his foster kid. “I’ll take payment in the form of chores being done on time and completely.”
You chuckle and realize that Joel is just as soft as you remember him but he’s covered by a hard exterior…like a piece of candy. Sweet but sour. “Deal.” Ellie says despite knowing she will slack a little bit she hopes Joel will at least teach her the basics. “So are you gonna be seeing Joel again?” Ellie probes and you shrug, “well, he’s working next door so I think it’s inevitable.”
Joel rolls his eyes at the scheming tone of the girl’s voice. “Maybe I should ask you when you are going to see Vanessa again.” He huffs with a small smirk. “You seemed to be really into hanging out with her.”
You lean in a little closer with a smile, “who’s Vanessa?” You ask and Ellie blushes, “she’s, uh, she’s this girl from math and she - she’s really pretty.” Ellie murmurs and you reach out to touch her arm, “then maybe you should tell her that.” You suggest and Ellie rears back and shakes her head. “Oh no. No. I, uh, I don’t know if she likes me.” Ellie confesses and you say, “well, you’ll never know unless you ask.” You suggest softly and Ellie bites her lip until her expression hardens a little, “I could say the same thing to you guys.” She says, looking between you and Joel. 
You shake your head, “we are friends. Have always been friends.” You say and don’t notice Joel frown slightly. “Anyway, I, uh, I’m sure you have an early start. Do you want to take the rest of the cake home? I won’t eat all of that.”
“I know the kid will want it.” He won’t admit that he might go to the kitchen in the middle of the night to sneak a piece. “Come on.” He motions towards Ellie. “Let’s get in there and clean up. Show our appreciation for the good meal.”
Ellie, for once, doesn’t groan about doing dishes and you already have most of it in the dishwasher so it’s only the serving plates and plates you ate off of. “It’s okay.” You try to argue but Joel and Ellie already have a well rehearsed wash and dry system. You stand there with your glass of wine and admire Joel.
You had obviously washed as you cooked, so there weren’t as many dishes as when Joel decides he’s gonna actually cook. Once the last one is washed and handed off to Ellie to dry, Joel rinses the rag and starts to wipe down your counters. “Tell you what?” He jokes. “You feed us like that and we’ll do all the dishes every time. Might even do your laundry too.”
You chuckle and hold your hand out towards Joel, “that’s a deal, Miller.” You joke and he squeezes your hand, sending electricity up your arm at his touch and your heart thumps. You stare at him for a moment until Ellie clears her throat and looks between you with a shit eating grin until Joel lets go of your hand. They finish washing up and you hand them the box of cake to take with them when you escort them out of your house “it was great to meet you, Ellie.”
"It was pretty cool to meet you too." Ellie smirks. "I think I'll probably see a lot more of you too." She predicts before shooting out the door. "Thanks for the food!" She shouts as she waves the cake box over her head.
You chuckle when Joel rolls his eyes, “she’s a handful.” He says and you reach up to squeeze his shoulder, “she’s a good kid. And you’re a good man for taking her in.” You say and he leans in to softly kiss your cheek. 
“Thanks for dinner, sweetheart. See you around.” He winks at you and you fluster, nodding before you shut the door. Your heart is fluttering, the ghost of his kiss on your cheek and you know that your love for him has never gone away, it’s just been concealed. 
**** 
The next morning, you’re woken up by Joel and his crew again and you sigh, getting ready for the day. When you open the curtains, your jaw drops as you come face to face with Joel working , his shirt looped into his jeans. “Shit.” You hiss, your stomach twisting with arousal as you watch his shoulder muscles move.
Joel sees the curtains opening on the bedroom you are obviously using in your aunt’s house. He looks back down at the board he was nailing into place and smirks. It was hot as hell today and that might have prompted him to take his shirt off. All the while, telling himself that Ellie’s prodding about how much you two obviously liked each other was a bunch of BS. You had been friends. He’s sure he had taken his shirt off around you at some point, so why shouldn’t he be comfortable.
Your mouth is dry as you try to discreetly watch. You hadn’t seen Joel without his shirt off and the muscles moving has you wanting to get back into bed and imagine Joel in it with you. Instead, you force yourself to get ready for the day and brew some coffee. The doorbell rings around mid morning and you brush yourself down as you move to open the door. “Joel. What’s up?” You ask, his shirt still off, he’s covered in some kind of grease, and you swallow harshly. “I hate to ask this but do you think I could use your shower? I got grease all over me from trying to fix my tool. Can I - I’ll be quick.” He asks and you nod, “of course. It’s upstairs to the left.” You say, “I can run your stuff through the washer if you want?” You offer.
“Thanks.” He shoots you a grin. “I appreciate it. This job has been nothing but a pain in my ass, but at least the view is nice.” He tells you, aware that he’s flirting, but he can’t help himself. He’s been thinking about you all day. Wondering what you’ve been doing.
You bite your lip as he grins at you and you aren’t sure if he’s flirting or not. You watch him as he carefully makes his way upstairs after taking off his boots at the door and you try to busy yourself by making some iced tea for when he’s done showering. Logically, you know he doesn’t have a spare set of clothes yet you’re still surprised when he appears with a towel wrapped around his waist and you swear your heart stops. Fuck, he looks gorgeous. You want to lean in and lick the drops of water speeding down his chest and stomach to be absorbed by the towel.
Joel shuffles slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t think about the fact I had nothing to put on.” He admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I- I swiped some of your deodorant.” He chuckles awkwardly. “Probably the best I’ve smelled all day.”
“That - That’s okay.” You nod, torn between stepping forward to rip the towel from his body and running to your room to disappear. “I, uh, I made some iced tea if you want some.” Joel nods and you pour him a glass. “I’ll put your things in the washer.” You hold your arms out and take the dirty clothes, quick to walk into the laundry room to put his clothes on to wash.
He hadn’t missed the way your breaking hitched, and he reasons that Ellie was right. You want him. Instead of drinking the tea, he puts it down and quietly follows behind you. Crowding in behind you as you close the lid to start it and smirks when you gasp as you turn around. “Sorry, realized I forgot to give you everything.” He rasps out, reaching for his towel. “Can’t forget that.”
Your eyes widen and you bite your lip to stop the whimper escaping. Joel is naked. In your aunt’s laundry room. You spin around and place the towel in the washer before pressing the button to start it. His hands find your waist and he pushes up against you, “Joel.” You whimper, “I- oh God.” You gasp when he kisses your neck. 
“I want you.” He confesses, “you want me, darlin’?” He asks and your knees would buckle if he didn’t have you pressed up against the washer. 
“I need you. I’ve wanted you since I met you.” You confess breathlessly.
His hardening cock twitches against your ass and he groans. “That is why you left.” He huffs. “Fuck, I wish I had known.” He squeezes your hips and then slides his hands around so he can unbutton your jeans. “I would have taken you to bed before I met Helen. Always thought you were a pretty thing. Never seemed like you wanted more with me, so I didn’t push.”
You turn your head to kiss his jaw. “I thought you thought of me as the dumb kid next door. Never saw me as the woman I became. I thought you just saw me as a friend. When you told me you were engaged to Helen - I - I couldn’t stick around and watch you be a family.” You confess as he pulls the zipper down and you gasp when he shoves your jeans down your thighs, his hand quickly pushing into your panties to rub your clit. “Joel.” You moan, reaching up to turn his head so you can press your lips against his.
He knows that this will change everything but he’s tired of being alone. Tired of the regrets he has and you have always been one of them. His work rough fingers press and rub your clit while his other hand slides under your shirt and pushes your bra up so he can fondle your tits. “Never thought you were a girl. You aren’t that much younger than me. Hated how much I wanted you. How much I thought about you.”
You gasp when he rubs your clit just right and you grind your hips back against his aching cock. “God. I- I thought about you all the time.” You confess and reach behind you to grip his cock in your hand. “I want you, Joel.” You whimper, needing to feel him inside of you after so many years of wondering what he would feel like.
“Then you’ll get me.” Joel promises. “Right after you cum on my fingers.” He twists his wrist so he can push two thick fingers inside you and rub your clit with his thumb. Groaning and twitching in your hand when your walls squeeze his fingers tight. “I’ll fuck your little pussy right. Make you forget all about that douche bag in Texas. Show you how a man should be treating you.”
His words send a whine up your throat and you squeeze his cock in your grip as his fingers stretch you out. “Oh God. Jo- Joel.” You gasp when his thumb presses harder against your clit. It’s more than you’ve felt in years while having sex and you are grateful for his hand squeezing your breast to keep you upright and pressed against the washer. “Shit. That - it’s so good.” You pant, knowing that Jason never made you feel like this. He never used to finger you until you came, just until you were wet. You’re a little embarrassed when you look back on it later to say that you came astonishingly quick, clamping down on his digits with a moan of his name.
“Good girl.” Joel moans when he feels your body tense and shake. “Fuck, your such a good girl for me. Bet you taste delicious, don’t cha?” He groans, the slickness coating his fingers makes it easier to work you through your orgasm until he feels your knees buckle and you collapse against the washing machine. “Fuck. You needed that, didn’t you. Still want me to fuck you or do you need a cigarette?” He jokes. He’s throbbing in your hand, but if you don’t want to go any farther, he won’t push. He doesn’t want you to regret it or feel like he’s taking advantage of your broken heart.
You squeeze his cock again, "don't you dare stop, Miller. I- I've wanted you for forever. I need you inside of me." You plead breathlessly, pussy still fluttering around his fingers, "please." You add pathetically, needing this even if it's one time.
“I’m so fuckin’ glad you said that.” Joel confesses as he pulls his soaked fingers out of you. “Otherwise I was gonna need to jerk off right now.” He kisses your neck and pushes your feet apart with his own to spread you out. “It’s gonna be quick.” He warns. “Been a long fuckin’ time for me.”
"I don't care. You can cum inside of me." You promise, bracing yourself on the vibrating washer as he positions himself at your entrance and starts to push inside of you. You whine when his cock slips inside of you, already stretching you out. "Fuck. You are so big." You moan, knowing that you've never had anyone this thick inside of you.
​​Joel groans your name roughly, rolling his hips until they are pressed against your ass and both hands are filled with your tits. “So goddamn tight.” He rasps in your ear, twitching when you clench around him. “Better than my dreams, better than I could have ever imagined. So tight around my dick.”
You reach behind you to tangle your fingers in his damp hair. He starts to move inside of you, a whine escaping your lips as the friction is delicious, and you rest your cheek on the washer. “Soooo gooood.” Your voice vibrates too and Joel chuckles darkly, making you clench around him again.
He moves his hands down to grip your waist, holding tight to you as he braces his legs. Starting to rock into you faster and harder to make your body slam against the machine you are leaning against. “Fuck baby, you’re goddamn perfect.” He grunts out, gritting his teeth. “Touch your pretty little clit while I fuck the shit out of you.”
You cry out in pleasure, your hand shaking as you push it between you and the machine to rub your clit. “Fuck Joel. Joel. Oh shit.” You practically sob and his fingers dig into your flesh, likely leaving bruises you’ll cherish. “Harder.” You demand, wanting to feel him for days after he leaves you.
He growls, deep in his chest and his pace increases. Slamming into you harsh enough that he rocks the machine. Loving how you take him and beg for more, how tight your cunt gets when you spasm around him. “Gonna cum.” He warns, feeling his body starting to tense. “Need you to cum, sweet girl.”
You rub your clit a little faster, wanting to cum before he does and his grunts echo in the laundry room, getting deeper and faster along with his thrusts until you fall apart. A cry rips from your mouth as you clamp down on him, practically shaking against the vibrating machine as you climax around the man you’ve wanted for so long.
As soon as you clench down around him, Joel is lost. The strangled groan pushes out of his throat as he buries his cock just as deep as he can. Painting your walls with hot spurts of his seed while he grinds into you and whimpers your name. Overwhelmed by how perfect you feel around him.
You pant, resting against the washer as Joel twitches inside of you, his lips kissing along the back of your neck. You are speechless. No one has ever fucked you like that. Your legs feel like jello and you know you'd collapse if it wasn't for him keeping you pressed against the machine.
Panting, Joel presses against your back, kissing along your neck as he tries to catch his breath. He’s out of practice, but the way your legs still shake makes him think he did it right. “Fuck.” He chuckles. “We shoulda done that years ago.”
You chuckle softly, "yes but you were married." You snort and Joel caresses your side. "I think I'm gonna need a nap after that." You confess and he smirks against your skin, reluctantly pulling out of you.
“Well, I can’t go back to work with no clothes on.” He reminds you with another chuckle. “Why don’t we take that nap?” He’s already told his crew what to do and he doesn’t want to leave you right now. Caressing your back, he watches his cum start to well up at your little hole, trying to push out.
You smile, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra after he steps back from you and you finally feel like you can stand up. You toss your bra and shirt into the laundry basket along with the rest of your clothes after using your panties to wipe his cum from between your legs. “I need to pee and then we can nap.” You say, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “You wanna head upstairs while I pee?” You ask.
“Yeah.” Joel smirks slightly when you wobble as you walk to the hall bathroom and he strides into the kitchen to grab you a bottle of water before heading upstairs to the bedroom you are using. Feeling great and hoping that you enjoyed yourself, he’s gonna have to ask you when you come up.
You struggle to get upstairs but you do it, finding Joel sitting on the edge of the bed, still naked and you admire him for a second. The sun coming through the curtains highlights the gray in his locks and you find yourself falling for him all over again. You shift to lay down on the bed, closing your eyes, “you’ve worn me out, Miller.” You joke playfully.
“You’re worn out?” It’s fucking ridiculous how he wants to touch you again, even though he knows it will be at least half an hour, maybe more before he could get it up again. “And here I was thinking about eating your pussy.” He flips back on the bed beside you. “Guess that’s out.”
You open one eye, “now I didn’t say I was that worn out.” You tease, shifting onto your side and opening both eyes to look at him. “I would happily cum on your tongue if you want to do that.” You murmur, reaching out to caress his chest.
“Figure I owe you that much.” He grunts. “Fucked you over a washing machine. Not exactly the classiest first time.” He shoots you a grin. “Shoulda been in the bed of my truck.” He leans in and presses his lips to your as he rolls you onto your back and covers you with his body. “Wanna find out how you taste. Used to think about it when I had my dick in my hand.”
​​You reach up to caress his shoulders and back, “the bed of your truck. The stars above while the radio plays. That might’ve been something I dreamed about a lot.” You confess as he kisses along your neck. “I want to suck your cock too. Imagined it so many times. How you’d look, how you’d sound.”
“Fuck.” He groans, imagining it. “You’d look so fucking pretty like that.” He agrees. “But right now, there’s no way I’m gonna get hard, baby. I’m old.”
You scoff, “you’re not old. You just need some time.” You murmur, caressing his back as he slides his hand down your side. “We have time.” You promise softly despite knowing you are on borrowed time in your aunt’s house. “Now…you mentioned something about eating me out?”
He laughs as his tongue slides between your breasts, looking up at you with a grin that makes him feel younger, lighter. “I was telling you that you were going to scream my name.” He boasts, kissing across your belly as he shuffles down the bed to move between your thighs.
You grin as you watch him until he kisses your inner thigh and your mouth falls open with a moan. “Joel.” You sigh when he kisses along the sensitive skin until you are moaning his name as his tongue slides through your folds. “Fuck.” You tilt your head back, sitting up on your elbows.
He hums, knowing you are watching him but his eyes are closed as he tastes you. Enjoying the musky, tangy taste, even mixed with his own cum. Using his hands to push your thighs apart more, he flicks his tongue over your clit before sliding down and pushing his tongue inside you.
You gasp in delight as his tongue curls deep and you shift your weight onto one elbow so you can reach out and tangle your fingers in his hair. "So good baby. So good." You coo, rocking your hips up slightly to push his tongue deeper.
Joel groans into your cunt as he tongue fucks you enthusiastically. Loving your responsiveness and how you moan his name. His fingers dig into your hips, dragging you closer as he feasts voraciously without even wanting to pull away to swallow, his spit and your juices sliding down to soak the bed under you.
"Oh God." You pant, chest heaving and you let go of his hair to squeeze your breast, pinching the nipple while his nose presses against your clit. "That - ohhh just like that." You cry as his tongue curls just right with his nose pressed against your bundle of nerves.
He hums, rubbing his broad nose against your clit to give you more. Desperate to hear you cum again and to feel you soak his face. He feels so fucking alive right now between your thighs.
"Shit. I'm - you're gonna make me cum, Joel." You pant, thighs clamping around his face as he sends you over the edge. "Fuck!" You squeal as you soak his face, almost suffocating him with your thighs as your stomach clenches with your orgasm.
Joel groans, his softening cock starting to twitch and harden. Loving how wet you are getting and how much you are soaking him. Working you through it, his eyes are fixed on your face while you moan and cry out for him.
You collapse back onto the bed, gasping to catch your breath and you swear your heart has stopped from how hard you came. It’s more than anything you felt with Jason. It’s all consuming. “So good.” You finally murmur, loosening your grip on his face as your legs come down to lay flat on the bed when he rests his chin on your mound.
He smirks, looking at your blissed out face. “Good to know that it was good.” He strokes your thigh and your hip with his hands. “Now we can nap.” He teases, winking playfully.
You shift onto your side after he snakes from between your legs to flop down on the bed beside you. “You don’t want me to-?” You ask, noticing his semi. 
“Nap first then maybe you can ride me.” He says, closing his eyes and you nod, shifting to curl into his side, watching him for several moments until you eventually drift off to sleep. 
**** 
You aren’t sure how long you’ve been asleep but you wake up to Joel snoring. You chuckle softly, knowing he would never admit to snoring, and you watch him for a moment, unable to believe you’re here with him. Your gaze slides down his body to his hard cock resting on his belly and you grin, carefully shifting to be able to kneel over his body. You gently grip his cock and lean down to take the head into your mouth, wanting to surprise him when he wakes up.
Joel grunts, the wet heat and suction around his cock pulling him out of the nap he had been enjoying. Confused for a moment before the last few hours come rushing back to him and he groans out your name. Reaching down to cup the back of your head as his eyes open. Seeing you looking up at him with a smirk in your eyes.
You take him deeper, gripping the base of his cock as you widen your jaw and choke for a second. You haven’t sucked a cock like Joel’s before and it takes you a few tries to get him down your throat without gagging.
“Good girl, fuck, watch you take that.” He marvels. Reaching around to caress your jaw and feeling the way that your jaw unhinges. “Couldn’t wait, so eager for it that you had to wake me up?” He teases.
You moan around his cock, closing your eyes as you take him deeper, your saliva dripping down his length and you pull back after a moment, working his cock with your hand. You twist your wrist and dribble some more spit onto his cock. “I couldn’t resist.” You confess, pumping him as you lean in to suck on the head, pressing your tongue against his frenulum.
“Shit.” Joel hisses, his toes curling in pleasure and his thighs tensing as his body responds to your tongue. “Cock hungry.” He grunts. “You gonna swallow? Or are you gonna tease me and not let me cum in your mouth?”
You pull back again, pumping him a little faster. “You wanna cum down my throat or do you want me to ride you? Your choice, handsome.” You coo, “I can do whatever you want. Just want you to feel good.” You promise, taking him back into your mouth.
“Fuck.” It’s such a tantalizing choice but he knows he lasts longer the second time around and then he’ll be done. It would make your jaw ache and he doesn’t want that. “Ride me, baby.” He groans. “Want to see you bounce on my cock.”
You don't argue despite wanting to watch him as he cums down your throat. You let his cock drop from your mouth and you shift to straddle his thighs, shuffling closer until you can wrap your fingers around his slick cock and position him. You sink down onto him with your eyes fixed on his, that dark gaze sends a shiver down your spine as he stretches you out. "God, Joel." You whine softly, placing your palms on his chest.
“Fuuuuuuuuck.” Joel goans out, his fingers digging into the soft flesh at your hips while you clench down around him. You’re even tighter in this position and he has the bonus of being able to look into your eyes. See your face. “Does that feel good, baby?”
"Joel. It's...shit. It's so good." You confess breathlessly and your nails dig into his chest a little as you start to rock your hips. "Shit. How does it feel so good? Never been like this before." You confess as your eyes meet his and your heart pounds in your chest, silently giving you the answer to your question.
Bracing his feet on the bed, he rocks his hips up to meet you when you lift off of him. Making both of you groan at how good it feels. “You look so good on my dick.” He groans. “Your ex is a fucking moron.” He doesn’t want you to think about that asshole, but he wants you to know that it wasn’t you. One hand slides up to cup your breast, squeezing gently. “Never wanna leave this pussy.”
His words make you clench around him and you whimper, falling forward to press your chest against his so you can kiss him. Your lips pressing against his and you tangle your fingers in his hair as he thrusts up into you. His arms wrap around you and you kiss his jaw when you pull back to take a breath. "Never want you to stop fucking me."
Joel grunts, shifting to take control. “Good-“ he pants. “Good thing I last the second time.” He starts rocking his hips up, pinning you to him as he fucks you. “It’s why I wanted you to ride me. Probably take me an hour to cum.”
You are surprised by that. Most men you've been with tend to leave you unsatisfied after finding their own orgasm. "Fuck, really?" You gasp and he chuckles, thrusting a little harder. "Yes. Gonna make you cum over and over again." You cry out when he hits deep, nudging your cervix, but you love it. "Yessss." You hiss, "do that again baby."
Joel groans and does as you demand, snapping his hips up sharply so he can push against that spot again. He might be getting older, slower, fall asleep after dinner in his chair, but he’s not going to disappoint you. Not when he has this time with you like this. Trying to give you the same performance if he had fucked you years ago. “That?” He teases. “I’ll do that as much as you want.”
The sound you let out is between a wail and a moan as he hits that spot again. “Oh shitttt.” You hiss, lost in the sensations. “Again. That- again.” You beg and he does it, making you shake above him. “Joel. Oh shit. Baby. I’m gonna - you’re gonna make me - fuuuu-” The word fading into a choke as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him as you shake above his body, your fingers tugging on his hair.
This time he slows down, rocking you through the pleasure slowly and finally stopping when you slump down into his chest. He’s still hard, buried inside you, and he hums softly as he lets you catch your breath. “That’s good, baby?” He asks quietly. “You want another one?”
You lean back to look into his face. Fingers coming up to trace the lines that have been etched onto his skin over the years you’ve not seen each other. He’s still just as devastatingly handsome though. Every line is a story you don’t know about. “Yes.” You murmur, pressing your lips to his and you shift to sit up, wanting to ride him again. Your hips rock as you reach for his hands, joining them with yours to give yourself something to hold onto as you rock on his cock.
This time, you ride him. Truly ride him. You roll your hips and circle them around and make him groan. He squeezes your hands, but he doesn’t urge you to go faster. Knowing you will cum again before he does. He doesn’t want to hurt you or wear you out, so he’s just along for the ride. Aware that the sounds from next door have stopped and the guys have gone home.
You tilt your head back as you rock your hips. It’s slower, not as frantic, and you love the way he groans when you grind down onto him. “So good Joel. God, I- I can’t believe it’s so good.” You confess, squeezing his hands before you let go of him and lean back to place your hands on his thighs, grinding forward onto his cock.
He chuckles and watches you with a sense of wonder. “It’s because you’ve not had good sex in a long time.” He downplays his prowess because all that matters is that you enjoy yourself. “God, your pussy is fucking magic.” He moans quietly, twitching violently in the warmth of your walls.
You whimper, loving how he looks beneath you, and you moan his name again, “can you-?” You reach for his hand to bring it to your stomach, sliding it down to rub your clit and you moan when he rubs it just right. “That’s it baby. Shit.” You pant, rocking a little faster and you are soon clamping down on him again, head tilted back as a choked cry escapes your lips.
Joel watches you through heavy lidded eyes as you come apart again. Enjoying the pleasure you take as much as you do, although your body is the one shaking. He rocks his hips up slightly when your pace falters to work you through it. Groaning out your name and humming as you collapse against his chest to kiss you.
You caress his cheek, “I need a second.” You admit, chest heaving as your heart pounds in your chest and you pull off of his cock. Shifting to lay beside him and you reach down to grip his length, starting to pump him slowly while you lean in to kiss him. “Can’t believe you’re in my bed.” You murmur against his lips.
​​“Hard to believe since we haven’t seen each other in so long.” Joel agrees. “But it is pretty damn good, I think.” He reaches up and cups your cheek. “I know you deserve the fucking moon.”
You grin, turning your head to kiss his palm. “So do you. Always thought you were too hard on yourself.” You murmur, continuing to pump his cock. “I want you on top of me.” You request, letting go of his cock.
“Ready for more?” His brow shoots up and he huffs. “It’s a good damn thing that I didn’t cum.” He teases you, already moving to his knees so his could climb on top of you.
You giggle, reaching up to caress his shoulders and down to his chest, reaching for his cock to position him at your entrance. “I want you to cum. Fill me up again.” You promise, “and I’ll always want more.” You reassure him and he looks at you for a moment until he swallows harshly.
“Yeah?” He asks gruffly, not waiting for you to give him an answer, just lunging forward to fill you up again while he kisses you. Swallowing your cry when he pushes deep and immediately starts to rock into you.
You moan into his mouth, tongue tangling with his as he starts to rock his hips. It’s intoxicating and you are certain that you’ve never been fucked this well before. He kisses along your neck, biting your collarbone and you pant, closing your eyes. “So good baby. So good.” You whimper as he lifts your hip higher to sink deeper inside of you.
“Glad you like my fucking.” He huffs, chuckling breathlessly. He hasn’t worked this hard to fuck a pussy in years and he’s not regretting it. You both deserve this. He actually feels like he deserves this, surprisingly. You make him feel like he does.
“Oh God.” You can’t stop rambling about how good he feels, your heart pounding in your chest and you cross your ankles behind his back, your hands caressing his shoulders, strong from his years in construction. He lowers his hips and you swear you’re gonna cum again when the hair at the base of his cock brushes your clit.
“That’s it.” Joel grunts. The position has you perfectly positioned. Loving how tight you feel and how good it feels to be cradled between your thighs, he knows he’s gonna cum this time. “One more.” He begs. “Give me one more and I’ll fill you up again.”
You pant when he pushes deeper and drops his hips again and you swear you almost black out from the extent of pleasure he’s given you and you swear you are going to gush as he hits just right and you clamp down on his cock. “Joel. Joel. Joellll.” You squeal as you cum, soaking him and your ankles pushing against his ass.
Joel groans, unable to stop himself from pushing deep and letting go. His body draws up taunt like a guitar string. “That’s it baby, gonna cum.” He moans, feeling his cock pulse as he spills ropes of cum into your perfect cunt. Emptying himself as he holds his breath, feeling like his heart is about to beat out of his chest.
You sigh, closing your eyes and tilting your head back against the pillows as he paints your walls with his cum. You feel exhausted and yet feel like you could conquer the world. Alive and vibrating with pleasure from the man above you. The words would be so easy to say. The words you’ve wanted to say for so many years but you swallow them down.
Joel groans and pulls out of you slowly, flopping onto his back with a sigh. “Now I need another nap.” He huffs, closing his eyes even as he opens his arms if you want to snuggle to him again. “Wore me out, woman.”
You shift to curl into his side, throwing your leg over his thighs and not caring about his cum dripping out of you. You sigh and kiss his chest. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.” You confess, closing your eyes as you cuddle into him.
“Good.” Joel hums sleepily. “Best damn sex I’ve had too.” His hand curls around your body and closes his eyes again, exhausted and for once, the nightmares don’t come.
**** 
You smile as Ellie sets the blankets up in the back of Joel’s truck. You watch Joel as he comes back to the truck with an armful of popcorn. “Fuck yeah.” Ellie says and you chuckle, taking the popcorn from Joel. “You’re excited to watch Dawn of the Dead?” You ask her with amusement and she nods, “duh. It’s the original. The remake is good but it has nothing on this one.” She says and you watch Joel snort. “Come on, let’s get in the truck, it’s about to start.” He says and you climb in after he does, taking his hand.
Joel can’t believe that you wanted to spend time with Ellie, but it makes him smile as she settles down and you sit beside her. Leaning him to squeeze in on the outside. “It’s always nice when they run these.” Joel admits. “Been a long time since we’ve been, but I always loved it as a kid. Remember all those times we would hang out at the drive in? Damn thing was the only movie theater for twenty miles.”
You shift to snuggle into Joel's side after the movie begins. Ellie chomps away on the popcorn and you inhale the smoky scent of Joel as he shifts to get comfortable with the pillows behind you. The past week has been incredible, spending most days with Joel after he finishes working on the house next door and you've had dinners at your place with and without Ellie. You've wanted Ellie to feel included, that you aren't taking Joel away from her all the time, and the teenager says she's happy she doesn't have to see the miserable old bastard all the time. That made you chuckle and Joel grumble, causing Ellie to go "see? My point." You flinch during the movie, on edge despite seeing this classic before, and Joel rubs your shoulder.
He ignores the way that Ellie eyes the two of you and snickers under her breath. Pulling you against him to where you roll to your side, hooking a leg over his. He tucks his other arm behind his head. “Maybe we can do that thing downtown next week.” He mentions casually, keeping his voice low. “Kid wants to go. Could be fun.” The little town loves to hold festivals and events, especially during the summer. 
You hum, looking up at him. “I would love that.” You have been having dinners with Ellie and she’s a great kid. Feisty and her manners could use some work but she’s a good girl really. She’s gonna be a ball buster when she grows up. You and Joel have grown closer and he told you about Sarah. How he asked her to pick up milk on the way home from school because he was too busy with work to pick her up himself so she said she’d walk home and she ended up involved in an armed robbery of the grocery store. She made one wrong move to try and help a pregnant woman and ended up shot. You held Joel after he told you what happened, both of you crying for the little girl who would never grow up. Since then, you’ve spent as much time as possible together, even spending the night at Joel’s house. You never want to go home. You want to stay right here forever. You kiss Joel’s jaw when it tenses and he turns his head to softly kiss you, making your heart flutter.
Joel hums into the kiss, keeping it soft and light since the kid is sitting right next to you. He’s already planning on having you spend the night. Getting used to the feeling of your body next to his and when he’s holding you, he doesn’t dream of Sarah. He doesn’t hear her last breaths as he sleeps. He nuzzles your cheek with his nose when he pulls away. “Enjoying yourself, baby?”
“Always with you.” You whisper softly while Ellie chomps on popcorn and laughs when someone new gets bitten. It’s the most at peace you’ve been in so long. You want to tell Joel how you feel but you don’t want to ruin this between you. When you arrive back at Joel’s, you bid goodnight to Ellie and Joel is dragging you to his room. “Someone’s eager.” You giggle and he shuts the door behind you.
“Always with you.” He uses your words from earlier, but it’s true. He’s always eager to touch you, to taste you. Feeling your skin against his is unlike anything else and he’s addicted to it. He quickly pulls off your shirt and unclips your bra as he kisses along your neck, moving down to take a nipple in his mouth.
You gasp, body still on fire as much as the first time whenever he touches you. You reach for his jeans, unbuckling them and reaching in to grip his cock, loving how hard he is for you. “Joel.” You whine when he bites down on your nipple, groaning into your skin.
He loves how you whine, how you beg for him. Switching to your other breast, he shows it the same attention, squeezing your ass and then hastily unbuttoning your shorts. Needing to feel how wet you are for him.
You let go of his cock so he can shove your shorts down and he groans when his hand dives into your panties and he finds you soaking wet. You’ve never been so turned on by a man, wet from just a few kisses from Joel. Even looking at him. You whimper when his calloused fingers find your clit. “Yesss baby.” You hiss softly, reaching back to squeeze his cock.
“Fuck.” He groans against your tit. His fingers rub your clit and then he slides them deep inside you and curls up. “Want you to cum for me, then I want to fuck you.” He growls.
You can’t deny him when he wants you to cum for him. His thumb pressing against your clit and you’re so close already. “Joel. Baby. Shit.” You hiss as you clamp down on his digits, soaking them and your grip on his cock tightens.
It seems like he’s learned your body perfectly over the last week. Groaning happily when your cunt gushes around his fingers and makes it squelch when he continues to finger you. “So good baby, so good.” He praises. “You’re so good for me.”
You whimper, “yes. Yes. All yours. I- shit. Need you inside of me.” You plead, letting go of his cock to reach for his shirt. You want to pull it over his head so you can touch his skin.
It’s a frantic rush to get both of you undressed. Acting like teenagers again. He chuckles when he nearly trips over his boxers as he moves you towards the bed. “So damn eager. All the time.” He grunts, pressing his lips to yours as he pushes you down onto the bed.
You giggle, looking up at him as he shifts to kneel between your legs. You stop giggling when he looks at you and you reach up to caress his cheeks. “It’s because it’s you.” You murmur, your heart pounding in your chest and you know you can’t say those words and ruin this so you surge forward to press your lips against gis.
Joel closes his eyes and moans into your mouth. Gripping his cock and guiding himself towards your dripping entrance while your tongues tangle together. Flattening his hands on either side of your head as he starts to push inside you.
You tangle your fingers in his hair, lifting your thighs up to rest on his hips so he can sink deeper inside of you. “Joel baby. Shit. Always so thick. Stretching me out. Would’ve - would’ve let you fuck me in your truck during the movie if Ellie wasn’t there.” You reveal when he leans back to kiss along your jaw.
He hums quietly. "Could you have kept quiet?" He asks, sliding a hand up and covering your mouth. "Or would I have had to fuck you like this? Keep those pretty sounds for myself while I fuck you?"
Your moan is muffled by his palm and you whimper when he starts to move inside of you. Your cunt clenches around him, making him chuckle darkly, and you swear that alone could make you cum. His hand slides down to your neck, holding you there but not squeezing. “I would’ve tried. The - the horror screams might’ve covered mine up.”
He hums, smirking as he watches you squirm underneath him. "Maybe." He tells you doubtfully. Your screams are too loud when he's really fucking you. Although you normally save that for when he's fucking you at your aunt's house.
You slap his chest playfully and he grabs your hand, pressing it into the mattress above your head. “I could’ve kept quiet.” You huff and he thrusts particularly hard into you, making you moan a little louder than you shoulder. His eyebrow raises as you open your eyes and you roll your eyes, “okay, you made your point. Now, you gonna fuck me, Miller?” You tease, leaning up to nip his jaw.
“I’m fuckin’ you, aren’t I?” He grumbles even though he’s smirking again. He’s been doing a lot of that around you lately. Reaching back, he grabs your hand and lifts it up over your head while he slams into you again. “Addicted to it. To you.”
Your mouth falls open, all joking gone as he hits so deep inside of you. “Fuck.” You gasp, closing your eyes as he rolls his hips on the next thrust. “Shit. Me too. Addicted. To all of you.” You promise, having seen some of his darker moments when he’d wake up in the middle of the night and momentarily forget he lost Sarah. You’d held him while he settled down and neither of you spoke about it the next morning. It’s his decision to talk or not talk.
With your confession, his pace falters for a moment before he starts rocking into you faster. Snapping his hips as harshly as he can to slam into you roughly. Knocking your breath and his own out of you as he fucks you.
You lift your hips higher, sending him impossibly deeper inside of you, and you can barely breathe with the way he’s pushing deep inside of you. “Fuck baby. That’s it. God. Feels so good. So good.” You moan, squeezing his hands in yours.
“You’re so good.” He’s done everything he fucking could to show you how sexy you are. How desirable. That your ex is a dumbass. He squeezes your hand and despite the rough pace, his lips are tender on yours.
His hips grind against yours and you are close when he rubs your clit just right. “Shit. Jo-Joel. Fuck. I’m gonna - I’m gonna - Shitttttt.” You hiss as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him and your lips hover against his as he works you through it.
It’s always so surprising how quickly you cum. Making him groan as your walls squeeze hum like a vice, begging him to fill you up. He kisses you again, keeping his cock working in and out of you as he chases his own high. Thinking about you and how sexy you are, different times he’s fucked you. Wanting to cum and snuggle with you while he can. “Fuck, fuck, baby.” He pants. “So fucking good for me. Soaking my cock. Moaning my name. You’re mine, ain’t cha?”
You nod, “yes. Yes. Yours. Always been yours. You just didn’t know it.” You confess and he groans, pushing deep inside of you with a hiss as he starts to cum. “That’s it baby. Cum for me. Yes. Yes. God, that’s it.” You squeeze his hands as he scrunches his face up while he paints your walls.
“You should stay.” Joel groans out as he collapses on top of you and buries his face into your neck. Panting breathlessly and trying to find the words he needs, even though he’s never been good at them. He needs you. Much like he needed Ellie, just in a different kind of way. He doesn’t want you to leave and he knows you’ve only got a few days left.
You want to stay. More than anything. You often daydream about a life spent with Joel but you have a life back in Texas that you need to sort out. You want to stay, forget everything in Texas but you have an apartment. “I can’t. Not yet.” You murmur and caress his back, “I have stuff to figure out in Texas.” You wish you could stay with him but you have to get everything sorted.
Joel doesn’t say anything. He knows it was a long shot. He kisses you softly and pulls out of you with a groan and rolls onto his back. Quiet and suddenly wondering is you are going to go back to that asshole now that you’ve fucked someone else.
You shift into his side, kissing his chest, and you know it’s hard to explain to Joel who sees the world in absolutes. You know he isn’t happy with your answer and you’ll try to explain it better in the daylight. He is soon snoring in your ear and you murmur to him, “I love you.” You will call your parents tomorrow and see if they can help you out. 
**** 
Joel looks at you as you finish making the sandwiches for lunch. “You nearly finished with the house next door?” You ask him as you set the iced tea down in front of him as he shifts to sit at your kitchen counter. 
“Nearly.” He says and he’s been quiet since last night when you told him you weren’t staying. 
You set the plate in front of him just as the doorbell rings. He looks at you and you shake your head, “I didn’t order anything.” You say and make your way over to the front door. You open it and gasp, “Jason?”
His heart sinks as he hears your gasps but his first instinct is anger. Lurching out of his seat, Joel rushes to the door and pushes you out of the way so he can grab the asshole who hurt you. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He growls, satisfied that the man nearly squeals and flinches when Joel draws his fist back to punch him.
Jason winces and you reach up to touch Joel’s arm. “Don’t. He’s not worth it.” You say and Joel glances at you, confused that you don’t want him to beat this guy’s ass and you say no. “What do you want, Jason?” You huff and Jason adjusts his shirt after Joel lowers his arm. 
“I want you back. I made a mistake. I'm sorry baby. Please. I miss you.” You ignore that to ask him how he found you. “Your phone…still has the location shared with me.” 
You hiss at your stupidity. “I don’t - I don’t love you Jason. You hurt me. So much. Just go.” You plead and he shakes his head, trying to push into the house but Joel puffs his chest and Jason backs away. 
“Fine. Whatever. Clearly you’ve moved on. Good luck, man. She’s batshit crazy.” Jason growls, “and she needs to do some fucking kegels.” 
Joel hisses and surges forward to grab Jasón but he manages to dodge Joel and runs down the path. “Motherfucker.” Joel hisses and tries to catch him but you place your hand on his chest, “leave it baby. It’s not worth it.” You remind him and Joel shouts out, “you worthless piece of shit!” You sigh and shut the door, feeling a little shaken by Jason’s random appearance.
Joel’s angry. Pissed off that you apparently still have feelings for that fucking loser. Enough that you wouldn’t let him beat the shit out of him and teach him some fucking manners. “Charming asshole.” He grunts, not even hungry anymore. “See why you want to go back to him.” You just said you didn’t love him, but why else would you give up on everything the two of you have if not to go back to that worthless piece of shit.
Your eyes widen, “go- what the hell are you talking about, Joel? Go back to him? That’s the last thing I’d ever do. I didn’t think he’d track my fucking phone to come and find me.” You shake your head, “I don’t want him. I want you. I only want you.” You want to tell him how much but you don’t want to risk your heart again.
“Except you aren’t staying with me, are you?” He demands. “You’re gonna fuck off back to Texas and maybe tell your friends that you rebounded with some dumb construction worker who knew you from back in the day.” His own fears ride to the surface and he lashes out at you. “Poor son of a bitch actually thought he had a chance and asked you to stay.”
You shake your head, “Joel. No. I- I have to go home because I have an apartment. A job. I can’t just up and leave everything. I want to stay. More than anything in the world but we aren’t kids, we have responsibilities and I have to handle it all before I come back here. I want to stay. More than anything in the world.” You assure him, noticing how tense he is and you feel guilty for not explaining yourself before.
“Whatever.” He’s angry and irrational. A little embarrassed about how he just flung his heart out there. “I’m- I’ve got to get back to work.” He picks up his tool belt off the back of the chair and turns towards the door. Hating how vulnerable you’ve made him feel and how easily you can hurt him.
You want to run after him, scream at him that you love him, that you've always been in love with him. No one has ever made you feel like he does. Instead, you stare at the kitchen counter. You told him you'd come back but he pushed it aside. Maybe it's best that you go home before you destroy the last of your relationship with Joel. You work on packing your things, booking a flight home, and you text Ellie to tell her you are heading home first thing. She tries to call you but you ignore it, wanting to have a glass of wine or two to smother the way your heart aches at leaving Joel again. You never discussed why you left. You never told him and now you doubt you will. You organize your aunt's house, leaving it how you found it and get into bed without Joel.
“You’re a fucking dumbass.” Joel ignores the jab coming from the teenager as he stirs the pan as if it was a mission to whip the water and milk mixture the boxed dinner called for. “Joel? Joel? She’s leaving.” She stresses again. “You know, not being here anymore?” 
Slamming the spoon down, Joel turns around to glare at Ellie. “I fucking know. What do you want me to do about it?” He demands. “She’s a fucking adult. She can go where she wants.” 
The girl’s eyebrows arch up to her forehead and she rears back at the anger in Joel’s tone. “Man, you got it baaaaaaad.” She huffs. “You need to tell her how you feel.” 
Joel snorts. “I have.” He admits, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter, stay out of it.” 
Ellie harumps at him and crosses her arms. “Go talk to her.” She demands, staring him down and he knows she won’t let this go. 
“Fine.” He grumbles, slapping his hands on his hips to search for his keys. “Won’t do any good, but I’ll go talk to her.”
The doorbell rings and you frown, getting out of bed to see who it is. Hoping it's not Jason coming back. When you see Joel through the peephole, you sigh and open the door. "Hey." You say weakly as you stand there in your pajamas in the doorway.
“Can we talk?” Joel asks, shuffling slightly on the steps and wondering if you would tell him to fuck off. He had overreacted and fucked things up. “Please?”
You nod, stepping aside so he can walk in and you shut the door behind him. “Ellie told you I booked a flight home?” You ask and he nods, pushing his hands into his jeans. “Yeah.” He clears his throat and you bite your lip, taking a moment. “I don’t think you understand me, Joel. I- I don’t want to leave. Ever. If I could stay here forever, I would. But I can’t. Not because I don’t want to. I want to. I have a life back home. A home. A job. I can't abandon that stuff. I have to sort it out and then…I was planning to come back.”
His shoulders round, knowing that he hadn’t heard you say that when he was busy being upset. “I- I’m sorry.” He murmurs quietly, hating being wrong and feeling like he’s fucked things up. “I shouldn’t have- I didn’t hear you say that. I’m- no excuse.” He tells the kid to own up to her mistakes all the time and he should do the same.
You aren’t angry with him, just upset. “I- I never told you the reason why I left when you got married…did I?” You ask and he shakes his head, his hand coming up to run it through his hair. You fiddle with your fingers and lick your lips, giving yourself a moment. “I left because I couldn’t stand to see the man I love be in love with another woman, marry another woman. It tore me apart and I thought it was easier to leave than to watch you live your life without me being the woman you chose to be with. I was so in love with you and you didn’t see it. I had to go.”
“Oh baby.” Joel closes his eyes, pulling his hands out of his pockets so he can pull you close. “I wish you had told me.” It wouldn’t have changed things, he had married her, but maybe he could have kept you as a friend. “We didn’t last a year. She wasn’t the one for me. Not really, and we both knew it.”
You know he wouldn’t change a thing because he had Sarah because he married Helen but you hug him, breathing him in. “You had Sarah so life happens for a reason and you’re here now and I - I still love you. I’m still so damn in love with you, Miller.” You confess as you pull back to look at him.
“I love you.” He murmurs softly. “I - I was going to offer to come to Texas.” He’s not stepped foot in the state since his daughter died and he really didn’t want to go back, but he would for you. “To visit you. It would be hard to move Ellie.”
You caress his cheek, “I won’t be long.” You promise, “I can work remotely so I just gotta head home to pack up and find somewhere here to buy.” You tell him, “I won’t be gone long enough for you to need to visit me. I know you can’t move because of Ellie so I’ll come here. I don’t want to run anymore. I want you.” You promise, leaning in to nudge your nose with his.
“You don’t have to buy anything.” Joel murmurs quietly. “You can move in with me and Ellie.” He knows you might not want to move in with him after your ex cheated on you in your home, but he wants to offer. “No need to waste the money when you’re gonna be in bed with me.”
You smile, pleased that he’s ready to jump all in. “You want me in your bed?” You ask and he nods, “every damn night.” You giggle softly and kiss his lower lip. “As soon as I’m back, I’ll never leave your bed.” You promise, “I’m yours. Forever. If you’ll have me.”
“Baby, I want you.” Joel wraps his arm around you and pulls you close. “I promise you, I want you. Forever. Your asshole ex threw away the greatest thing he ever had and I’m not stupid enough to do the same.”
  ​​
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ronearoundblindly · 2 months
Note
Ro! I’ve been on a mint chocolate chip ice cream kick lately, and it makes me wish I could share a pint with a babe (that’s also probably very much the pre period hormones, but anywayyy) which ice cream flavor do you think you would associate with each of the babes? Their favorite flavor and/or personality trait-wise.
Mint chip is my favorite, too! \o/ I don't get to eat ice cream much, but this was interesting to think about. I will try not to project onto the babes, though, only their pure likes maybe...
Oh snap! I can use the banner again!!! (All characters I've ever written for below.)
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James Mace - Neapolitan
When this guy indulges (very rarely), he can't decide on just one flavor, so the easiest thing to do is get multiples. If he can go to a shop where you order by the scoop, he'll ask whoever is behind the counter what the popular or new or their faves are and try three of those. Mace, I believe, can pack away some ice cream.
Curtis Everett - Birthday Cake or Cotton Candy
The sickliest sweet things are a delight to Curtis. He's never gotten over how bland and boring and miserable the food of his childhood was. He goes nuts for sugar overload, but in intensity of taste, not in volume.
Jimmy Dobyne - Peach
Fruity, refreshing, creamy, and just screaming to add a dirty joke onto the end of it, Jimmy will use any excuse to sneak a double-entendre into polite conversation with a pretty lady. "Your peaches taste the sweetest..." Yeah, dessert is more about flirting than it is about eating. Ice cream is nice in the heat, however, so it's a great date option.
Johnny Storm - Cookies & Cream
With extra cookie crumbles and caramel sauce on top, he'll demand. Sprinkles, too, if you have it. Maybe some gummy worms or cereal. At least, like, five cherries. Oh! Also preferred that it be hard frozen when he starts eating so that it's not soup halfway through his rapid eating of it. The sensation of eating ice cream gets lost when he can barely tell it's cold.
Jake Jensen - Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip
This flavor has everything (and yeah, ok, I am projecting a bit on this one, whatever). Jake likes a whole lot of flavors and textures; he's actually not picky at all. He does enjoy ~the hunt~ for this rarer find in all his travels because raspberry is a popular flavor--it's often a sorbet though--but it's not the most popular of the berry options. He also will try all of the crazy niche flavors at hole-in-the-wall places. Conversely, it is easier to work while not holding a bowl or cone, so Jake loves a good milkshake or malt. Those he can sucked down like air.
Lloyd Hansen - Mint Chocolate Chip
My theory is this man is obsessed with fresh: fresh food, fresh sheets, fresh intel, fresh meat. Bet you his lip balm is always, only mint, too. Very classic. Very pristine. Fresh. Sweetness with a purpose.
Ari Levinson - Butter Pecan
Fine, I'm projecting again, idec, but you can't tell me Ari isn't this kind of old soul who loves not-overly-sugary treats! You cannot change my mind. That guy loves the crunch of candied pecans in there, he freaking lives for that rounded slightly-savory sweet cream flavor, and he loves that it's widely available but never sold out anywhere. Easy!
Ransom Drysdale - Coffee
And it's weirdly been that way since he was too young of a kid to drink coffee? Turns out, this was the flavor his father got but told Ransom he wasn't old enough for, he wouldn't like it. Of course, Ran immediately ordered two scoops of it in a chocolate dipped sprinkle cone, and while he may not have been totally keen on it in that exact moment, coffee-flavor grew on him. He loves it as much as he loves all of the other behaviors that say "f*** you" to his parents.
Steve Rogers - Rocky Road
Created during the Great Depression, this ice cream was shared between Steve and his Ma quite a few nights when he was too sickly to go out but needed a pick-me-up. Bucky enjoyed it with him, too, but it's not his favorite. Steve tends to really enjoy eating only when there's nostalgia attached to the food.
Bucky Barnes - Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter
Rich, velvety, and made slightly different by each company. Sometimes Bucky wants ribbons of fudge and the tiny pb cups mixed in; sometimes he wants full-blown chocolate ice cream with peanut butter swirled in. Can't go wrong. Only good, heavy, decadent happiness vibes.
I am...stunned at how confident I feel in these choices HA!
Thank you for asking!
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accio-victuuri · 4 months
Text
i just noticed i’ve been v partial lately to zsww fake house and of course our dear lrlg that i forgot about another fake story house 给博肖加点小料bot . the last contribution i posted from them was this — the drawing of them 💋. so for a bit of a catch up, i will share ones from the past dates 2/24, 3/3, 3/26, 4/3, 4/29, 5/21 and 5/29.
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enjoy the goods! ^^ everything here is fake/fiction.
2/24/2024:
I have been losing weight recently, and if I crave meat, I will order takeout like beggar's chicken. Once when the meal arrived, XLS used the disposable plastic gloves provided to tear the chicken, and he got burned. Then he put the thick cloth gloves that came with the meal on the outside of the disposable plastic gloves and tried to grab it. We quickly stopped him, and he realized that he should wear the thick gloves inside and the disposable gloves outside. After eating, he called WLS as usual to report today's diet. He acted like a spoiled child to WLS and said that he was burned. Usually you tear it for him, and he didn't know it would be so hot. He also said that he would not dare to do it next time. Later, XLS told us that he ate chicken when he was losing weight, and WLS even made him hand-torn chicken.
ugh. honestly. these two. forget about peeling shrimps for your s/o! it’s now shredding chicken with your hands and then letting them eat it like that is the key. i swear, WLS really spoils XLS! and i like hearing about him acting like this with WLS.
and a background on what is “beggar’s chicken”
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3/3/2024:
Once when we were staying in a hotel, we entered the elevator from the first floor. A robot came in with us. We pressed the button for floor x. Wls and xls pressed the button for floor x, but the button for another floor in the elevator was also on. Xls saw that no one pressed the button, so he turned off the button for that floor. It turned on again after he pressed it off. Xls continued to press the button, and it turned on again after a while. Wls said, don't press it, it's the robot pressing it. Xls was very quick and pressed it again while listening to Wls. As a result, it didn't light up again this time: Wls was very exaggerated to say that he was awesome. He deserved to be my leader. Even robots have to listen to you.
i have nothing to say here other than they are such dorks. 🙃🙃🙃
3/26/2024:
WLS wanted XLS to call him gege, but XLS refused, so WLS tickled him. XLS had no choice but to quietly call him gege. After that, his face turned red. WLS still wouldn’t let us see it👀………………Don’t believe the fake news
why do i feel like this is real and not a fake story. 😂
4/3/2024:
They had a pair of Crayon Shin-chan toys, similar to the toys we played with when we were kids, which would automatically swing forward by turning a switch. XX was playing with his own toy, and xxx's toy didn't move. XX's toy swung and swung until it came to xxx's toy. The two toys were face to face, eyes to eyes, mouth to mouth, and then XX exclaimed in a very cute way, and XXX laughed along with XX.
even the toys they are playing with are dating 🤦‍♀️
4/29/2024:
For a while, x liked to watch food shows to find delicious snacks, but he was on a diet and couldn't eat too much. Every time he bought a bunch of snacks, he would taste them and share them with us. Some of them were so delicious that he couldn't finish them, so he would send them to w to clean them up. The courier here always knew the delivery address without telling us.
5/21/2024:
xls mistakenly sent a video of himself practicing kettlebells to the group. It was said that it was originally sent to wls.
OH NOOOOOO! what other workout videos is he sending to WYB??? how about post workout selfies??? 👀👀👀👀 XZ, please check who you are sending stuff to!!!!
5/29/2024:
XZ: I think I have dry skin
WYB: Bullshit, you sweat so much
XZ: Oh! I feel that my skin is still dry after applying body lotion recently, am I going to have dry skin?
👩‍🦳: It may not be moisturizing enough, but it will be summer soon, so I don’t need body lotion
👱‍♀️: The whitening one, the one you mentioned last time, I plan to buy the same one
XZ: Oh, that one is actually good
WYB: Is that one particularly fragrant? I touched it, and the smell is exquisite
XZ: It’s none of your business
WYB: I can’t join you at all
the comments on this contribution was mostly about “straight man” yibo 🤣🤣🤣
-END
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isaacswhy · 3 months
Note
dating bigt and nick hc? pretty please with s cherry on top
dating tanner & nick hcs :)
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the silly and the (pretending to be) serious
as the pic may suggest, gym dates are something you are constantly invited to
although tanner does frequently just spend most of it fucking around and nick is just trying to get you guys to take it serious
they love taking you to new restaurants. if you came with them to japan you were going EVERYWHERE and eating everything
nick likes to ask you if his outfits are good while you sometimes have to make sure tanner doesn't go out dressed like a toddler
tanner does the dumbest shit and is like "omg babe babe take a picture of this" to you and nick is just shaking his head. like what is he doing
nick likes more serious photoshoots but tanner gets so excited and gush-y if you take a really good photo of him
you have so many of their clothes. sometimes they go to your room to take some back and end up wearing each other's hoodies
the vlogs go crazy. since you got together there's just been so many vlogs where it's nick, tanner, and you
if you're not really comfortable being on camera you become nick's cameraman, and it's just you filming nick and tanner's shenanigans
tanner made you his phone wallpaper day 1 and got SO upset when he noticed nick hadn't changed his yet
nick made his just a photo of you that he loved but now it's a photo of the three of you and your heart just melts
because the thing is. nick and tanner really do get along. they don't really get jealous of each other and the communication is great
like of course they squabble. you've seen nick throw a fit because tanner took the one gsupps shaker cup he wanted to use that day. but they get along really well
tanner is the most physically affectionate and clingy member of the group, while nick is one of the least. so expect many cuddles from tanner and many gifts from nick
both love quality time. although nick will just chill silently in your room while tanner just yaps the whole time
you better try to stay up to date on their anime because all conversations devolve into discussions and debates on it
both of them love to send you gym progress pics. random mirror photos and only sometimes with shirts on. enjoy
they both also love tattoos and would 100% get matching ones with you if you wanted to. also tanner shows you ones he wants and you have to keep him from putting crazy shit on himself
when they're out doing things/on a trip they always send you random videos doing the weirdest shit. there is no guessing what you will see
it's mostly tanner being either paid to do smth or going "should i do it??" while nick enables this/pays him
they're always trying to get you on the podcast as a guest
you are chat's only hope to get either of them to stream at a consistent rate. good luck soldier
so many late night cuddles with tanner in his bed. his room is so cozy with his lighting and everything
nick is much more into quiet time spent in bed together on your phones and then cuddling up when you decide it's time to sleep
tanner is much more verbally expressive of his love, he loves very loudly and everybody will know he loves you
but nick is much quieter and sweeter about it. cuddles up behind you at night and wraps his arms around your waist, mumbling 'i love you' into the back of your neck
tanner sometimes comes up with the goofiest pet names. very much a babe/baby/pookie bear guy.
nick likes babe. he will call you by your name most times. occasionally says baby. will cringe at tanner's pet names
the group chat between you 3 is interesting. many strange videos and pictures of them. occasional loving memes
they're too nervous to post the workout/progress pics in the gc so they send them to you privately
nick likes to send pics of the food he eats at cool restaurants and then tanner sends back his doordash fast food order
it's a lovely little dynamic
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