#i also made at least one llamas with hats reference

[apple-juice-consumer]

Rooftop Gang Headcanons!! ✧.*

Characters; Shouta Aizawa (Eraserhead), Hizashi Yamada (Present Mic), Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud/Kurogiri), Nemuri Kayama (Midnight).

Warnings; mentions of self harm in Shouta's section, mild spoilers for Vigilantes and the mha manga/anime, and slightly implied nsfw (if you squint). Also I'm currently recovering from a cold at the time of writing this so some of the headcanons may be worded wrong or weirdly.

Credits; the gifs are from pinterest and all the dividers were made by @cafekitsune

Shouta Aizawa

• During their highschool years, he would make tea for Hizashi after training if he used his quirk too much and hurt his throat.

• He sometimes tries to make jokes to cheer Hizashi up after they found out what really happened to Oboro. It doesn't work but Hizashi laughs anyways to make Shouta feel better.

• He usually does Eri's hair in the morning before he leaves for work, but if he doesn't have time or is running late, then either Hizashi or Shinso will do her hair.

• Coldplay fan. His favorite song is Green Eyes because it reminds him of Hizashi.

• He has narcolepsy, depression, and PTSD.

• Kept Oboro's jacket after he died.

• Him and Hizashi still have Oboro's old phone number and frequently text it silently hoping that one day he'll respond even though they both know that will never happen.

• Calls Eri "baby", "babydoll", and "sweetheart" (Dadzawa 🥺❤️).

• Has a very slight tan from training class 1-A outside.

• Faded cuts on his arm from when he used to self harm for the first few months after Oboro's death.

• Baby talks to cats.

• Also has at least two cats he named Midnight and Oboro.

• During Christmas, he takes his class on special field trips to look at Christmas lights.

• Gay, cisgender, and uses he/him pronouns.

Hizashi Yamada

• Japanese and American. His mom is Japanese and his dad American.

• He's a Child of Deaf Adults. Since his cries made his parents go deaf when he was first born, he had to learn both JSL to communicate with his mom and ASL to communicate with his dad.

• I also headcanon him as having albinism since blond hair is a side effect of albinism in Asian cultures while having red eyes is a side effect of albinism in European culture.

• His fear of bugs stemmed from when he was a teenager. Shouta and Oboro made him watch the movie Arachnophobia and he's been terrified ever since.

• Even though he would never say it out loud, Ochako and Jirou are his favorite students.

• Developed Histrionic Personality Disorder as a result of Oboro's death.

• Him and Oboro used to reference Llamas With Hats and Charlie the Unicorn RELIGIOUSLY.

• His favorite Disney princess is Rapunzel.

• He has a tramp stamp.

• Pansexual, genderqueer, and uses he/they pronouns.

• Grows his fingernails out except for his middle and ring finger, which he always keeps short (😏).

• His favorite movie is The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

• His hair is too thick for normal hair ties so he has to use scrunchies to keep his hair up.

Oboro Shirakumo

• Has tried to eat his clouds at least once.

• Blink-182 fan.

• Queer, cisgender, uses he/him pronouns.

• Some of his favorite foods were cotton candy and cloud bread.

• BONUS: Kurogiri sometimes let's Toga sleep in bed with him.

Nemuri Kayama

• Camie's aunt.

• Bisexual, aromantic, cisgender, uses she/her pronouns.

LMFAO I love how you can clearly tell what characters are the favorite and which one is the least favorite 😭😭. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading my headcanons for these silly goobers and if you want me to make more posts like this then feel free to request some characters!!

[cherryjoong]

spider clown... spider clown... does whatever a spider clown does...

[xaidyl]

You could explain individual stuff! I find these explanations very fascinating, actually! OwO

okay! lets do this (this may be a very long post with lots of my random opinions but we’ll go with it) (and also please bear in mind these are jokey and in no real way a representation of these real people with real actual lives.)

***spoilers for most D20 seasons with this cast***

1.The babysitting 

Actual parent:Brennan 

From my experience DMing, you are effectively a parent to the players. He would also be an excellent dad

Wine aunt: Siobhan

Siobhan gives me vibes of someone who would take a bottle of wine to go babysit, then sit and tell the kids stuff about cults that they weren’t meant to hear. She would definitely teach the kids swear words, and they would love their cool auntie 

Great at babysitting: Lou

Part of the key to babysitting is being relatable to the kids, but also self assured enough to get them to behave. the person who holds that key is Lou Wilson. He also has played dad-energy characters, and that is the kind of vibes that you look for in a babysitter. 

Mediocre at babysitting: Murph

This scenario needs some theatre of the mind. Imagine Murph, he’s read all the babysitting books, he knows everything he could need to know, he lives with Emily Axeford. He’s more than prepared for this task. He tries so hard. The kids love him. The kids also walk all over him. They don’t get to bed in time. He wanted to do a good job. He tried so hard to do a good job. Yet somehow, luck is against him. 

The house is on fire, God is dead: Emily

Fig. Sofia. Jet. All three of these characters would set a house on fire without hesitation, and not one fears God. What does this have to do with Emily’s babysitting ability? Well, all these characters are teaching us to be chaotic beings, just like Emily. We are the children, and D20 is our babysitter. Emily would only replicate the same thing in this babysitting scenario. 

The children: Zac and Ally

I believe it was episode 9 of the unsleeping city. Neither Zac nor Ally were involved in the scene in question. Siobhan makes a reference to Eliza Doolittle, to which Zac makes a Dr Doolittle joke. Beardsley then shouts ‘I can see my dick’, a reference to a different film. This is fairly normal behaviour, and would not make either of them children in this scenario, had they not continued to hysterically laugh for the next ten minutes or so. Sat at opposite sides of the table. I think Zac starts crying at some point. They are absolute children, and also both have strong baby energy. Neither babysit, they are the ones that need babysitting. 

2. Can they be killed?

Cannot be killed: Brennan

The man is a God. Enough said. Also I’m pretty sure your body would reject your soul before it allows you to kill him. 

Can only be killed by one thing: Siobhan

You would be tricked into thinking Siobhan would be easy to kill- her constitution score is so low, after all. However, you would be wrong. The low constitution score has only made her stronger. More aware. What is the one thing that can kill her, though? Nobody knows, she’s only told those she truly trusts. It could be the most rare poison in the world. Or it could just be Mike Trapp. He (allegedly) has previous.

Can be killed but it won’t last: Emily

It is not anything to do with Emily that her death won’t last. In fact, Emily would be pretty easy to kill. However, if you kill her, Murph will do everything in his power to bring her back. He travels to the end of the earth, and then Emily Axeford is back and gets her new death date in a fancy gothic necklace.

Can be killed but at what cost?: Lou

What cost? The cost to the world. The world would be significantly worse off. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. It’s not worth it.

Can be killed but it’s not worth it: Murph

It’s not worth killing Murph because you would have precisely 0.7 seconds before you were killed by Emily. There is no way you can profit from this scenario, you would be dead before you even realise you’ve been successful. 

Can be killed and it would be pretty funny: Zac

I feel like we don’t discus the correlation between Zac Oyama characters and dying enough. Gorgug was the first D20 death. Lapain was the first D20 perma death. Ricky just like had a weapon that causes him to die. If you killed Zac, it would just be funny because its happened so much. Sorry Zac.

Can be killed but why would you, you monster?!?!: Ally

We’ve already discussed this. Beardsley is Baby. Leave them alone. 

Please kill them they suck: Box of Doom

I dont trust them

3. The fitness gram pacer test

this is definitely the most controversial of the charts, but there’s three of things you need to understand about my reasoning.

1. Zac is fast at running  

This has been seen a couple of times, namely: adventuring party, where Zac tried to tease Brennan about showing off how fast he his at running, but it turns out it was just Zac speaking his mind, and he is the one who always shows off at how fast he is at running. Also, the video on Siobhan’s instagram of Zac jumping over that table. 

He is also very bad a squats. Why would you be bad at squats? Bad knees. Why would you get bad knees? Running without sufficient warm up. Why would you skip warm up? Because you are very focussed on being able to run fast. 

2. Zac is willing to defend his title of running fast

The way he accused Brennan on adventuring party, he knew what he was doing. Sabotage. Brennan may also be able to run fast, but Zac would prevent him from getting a good score. How? He has his ways. Zac is a good boy, but not when it comes to running fast.

3. I felt bad

I had to give Zac at least one good one :)

Anyways onto the other choices:

Actually tried and got a low score: Brennan, Murph, Siobhan

We’ve already spoken about how Zac sabotaged Brennan to be the best at running. Murph is here because he would try really hard but something unlucky would happen. His shoelaces come untied. He accidentally gets caught in the Zac/Brennan feud. 

Siobhan started off with the intention to try, but after Lou, Emily and Ally had all done, she realised they were in fact much more interesting than the fighting going on. She walks out mid lap 

Didn’t try, got a low score, doesn’t give a shit: Lou and Emily

Its important to understand that both Lou and Emily are capable of getting a high score, they are just better than the whole thing. Why is their DnD group doing a pacer test? Why did Zac suspiciously force them to do this whole thing? 

The difference between them is Lou knows the feud is stupid and has like actual work to do? He sits and auditions for some other big film. He still watches over his laptop. 

Emily however, simply wants to watch the world burn.

Despite their different approaches to the situation, they both have a bet going on who’s going to be the fastest runner.

Ran one singular lap and finished: Ally

Ally Beardsley shows up at the track wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt that is impracticable to run in. They have a llama with them. At no point do they explain this. They walk round the track once, drink their water from a plant pot, then spend the rest of the time cheering on the others with words that don’t quite make sense. 

4. Storming Area 51

They cant stop us all: Zac and Brennan

Neither mean it maliciously, but both believe entirely in what they are saying. 

Brennan is definitely the guy to go mad over a conspiracy theory. He made all the crown of candy NPCs. He is basically betraying himself. He knows not to trust anyone. He doesn’t trust area 51. The next season of dimension 20 is this as a subliminal messages all the way through. 

Zac says it accidentally. He’s making a character for the charity livestream. He’s still got a hundred hours of character making left. He’s done so many bad squats. Unintentionally, he makes a character that forces all the zesbians to storm area 51. 

Have fun getting shot, dumbasses: Lou

The rest of the cast are being weird again. Lou is equally as capable of being weird, but sometimes they need to chill. It starts with Emily talking about diner ice. It finishes with Brennan wearing a foil hat at all times. 

You guys stop, someones actually gonna do it: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy.

Actually shows up: Emily and Siobhan

They ride a motorcycle there together. They wouldn’t have gone alone, but as a duo they are an unstoppable pair. Emily wants to break into a government facility. Siobhan desperately want to be in the real life x-files.

One of the Aliens: Ally

Emily and Siobhan open a door at area 51. Behind it is Ally Beardsley. They are wearing a rainbow bucket hat and a tie dye shirt. They have a llama standing behind them. This is not explained at any point. They drink from a flower pot and eat a quesadilla that appears out of nowhere. 

5. Stabbing 

Would never stab anyone: Murph

Murph is a good, lawful boy

Would stab in retaliation: Lou, Murph, Zac

Lets be honest, the entirety of a crown of candy so far has been these three taking stabs (or metaphorical ‘where is your bulb now’ stabs) as retaliation for a stab another one of these three had done.

Yells “I won’t hesitate bitch” first: Ally and Siobhan

I can’t really explain this one much more other than i’m pretty sure both these people have said this phrase at least once in their life.

Would stab as a warning: Emily

This would be promptly followed by Murph getting her to stop stabbing. Or, depending on the situation, encouraging her to keep stabbing.

6. The water fountain

Fills up a bottle and drinks from it: Lou and Siobhan

This is the normal way to drink from the water fountain. They were also both very concerned at watching Beardsley’s various different drinking apparatuses in adventuring party. 

Bought 4 water bottles so this wouldn’t happen: Murph

He is prepared. Something probably still goes wrong, but at least he’s got three water bottles left. 

Drinks straight from the tap: Brennan

Brennan is a busy guy. The tap is there, it’s convenient, he needs to get back to planning. There’s so many campaigns, so many characters, so many voices. 

Dehydrates: Zac

Honestly I’m not sure if this man would drink water if nobody told him so

Drinks from a puddle: Ally

like they drink from a vase with a flower, a puddle really isn’t that much of a stretch.

Licks the tap: Emily

She just wants to see the world burn. Also, she knows Brennan drinks straight from the tap. She has to get payback somehow. 

7. A child starts crying

Makes the child laugh: Lou

We’ve already discussed how Lou has dad energy. I feel like he’s know exactly what to say and how to act to get the child to stop crying. This is less stupid than the rest of my explanations, but I always love how expressive Lou is when he plays dnd. I’m not sure whether its the way he holds himself or the way he gestures, but I’m pretty sure if I was a crying child, I would stop crying if Lou Wilson told me a joke in that very soothing point.

Tries to play with the child: Siobhan and Ally

These two kinda give me older/younger sibling vibes. As a team I recon they could create a game that would calm this child down. Also Ally knows techniques to help adults calm down, they could probably implement these ideas into a game for children.

Gives detailed instructions: Murph

His knowledge comes from the books he has read to learn how to babysit, and the one time he babysat. His explanation is rather frantic however, mostly because he is trying to defend Emily in his answer.

Cries with the child: Zac

He’s sad because all his friends are speaking to this child an nobody noticed how fast he just ran.

He’s also baby, as we’ve said previously, so he probably relates to the child somewhat

The reason the child is crying: Emily and Brennan

The child just watched episode 9 of a crown of candy. 

[dillydedalus]

january reading

why does january always feel like it’s 3 months long. anyway here’s what i read in january, feat. poison experts with ocd, ants in your brain, old bolsheviks getting purged, and mountweazels. 

city of lies, sam hawke (poison wars #1) this is a perfectly nice fantasy novel about jovan, who serves as essentially a secret guard against poisoning for his city state’s heir and is forced to step up when his uncle (also a secret poison guard) and the ruler are both killed by an unknown poison AND also the city is suddenly under a very creepy siege (are these events related? who knows!) this is all very fine & entertaining & there are some fun ideas, but also... the main character has ocd and SAME HAT SAME HAT. also like the idea of having a very important, secret and potentially fatal job that requires you to painstakingly test everything the ruler/heir is consuming WHILE HAVING OCD is like... such a deliciously sadistic concept. amazing. 3/5

my heart hemmed in, marie ndiaye (translated from french by jordan stump) a strange horror-ish tale in which two married teachers, bastions of upper-middle-class respectability and taste, suddenly find themselves utterly despised by everyone around them, escalating until the husband is seriously injured. through several very unexpected twists, it becomes clear that the couple’s own contempt for anyone not fitting into their world and especially nadia’s hostility and shame about her (implied to be northern african) ancestry is the reason for their pariah status. disturbing, surprising, FUCKED UP IF TRUE (looking back, i no longer really know what i mean by that). 4/5

xenogenesis trilogy (dawn/adulthood rites/imago), octavia e. butler octavia butler is incapable of writing anything uninteresting and while i don’t always completely vibe with her stuff, it’s always fascinating & thought-provoking. this series combines some of her favourite topics (genetic manipulation, alien/human reproduction, what is humanity) into a tale of an alien species, the oankali, saving some human survivors from the apocalypse and beginning a gene-trading project with them, integrating them into their reproductive system and creating mixed/’construct’ generations with traits from both species. and like, to me, this was uncomfortably into the biology = destiny thing & didn’t really question the oankali assertion that humans were genetically doomed to hierarchical behaviour & aggression (& also weirdly straight for a book about an alien species with 3 genders that engages in 5-partner-reproduction with humans), so that angle fell flat for me for the most part, altho i suppose i do agree that embracing change, even change that comes at a cost, is better than clinging to an unsustainable (& potentially destructive) purity. where i think the series is most interesting is in its exploration of consent and in how far consent is possible in extremely one-sided power dynamics (curiously, while the oankali condemn and seem to lack the human drive for hierarchy, they find it very easy to abuse their position of power & violate boundaries & never question the morality of this. in this, the first book, focusing on a human survivor first encountering the oankali and learning of their project, is the most interesting, as lilith as a human most explicitly struggles with her position - would her consent be meaningful? can she even consent when there is a kind of biochemical dependence between humans and their alien mates? the other two books, told from the perspectives of lilith’s constructed/mixed children, continue discussing themes of consent, autonomy and power dynamics, but i found them less interesting the further they moved from human perspectives. on the whole: 2.5/5

love & other thought experiments, sophie ward man, we love a pierre menard reference. anyway. this is a novel in stories, each based (loosely) on a thought experiment, about (loosely) a lesbian couple and their son arthur, illness and grief, parenthood, love, consciousness and perception, alternative universes, and having an ant in your brain. it is thoroughly delightful & clever, but goes for warmth and humanity (or ant-ity) over intellectual games (surprising given that it is all about thought experiments - but while they are a nice structuring device i don’t think they add all that much). i haven’t entirely worked out my feelings about the ending and it’s hard to discuss anyway given the twists and turns this takes, but it's a whole lot of fun. 4/5

a general theory of oblivion, josé eduardo agualusa (tr. from portuguese by daniel hahn) interesting little novel(la) set in angola during and after the struggle for independence, in which a portuguese woman, ludo, with extreme agoraphobia walls herself into her apartment to avoid the violence and chaos (but also just... bc she has agoraphobia) with a involving a bunch of much more active characters and how they are connected to her to various degrees. i didn’t like the sideplot quite as much as ludo’s isolation in her walled-in flat with her dog, catching pigeons on the balcony and writing on the walls. 3/5

cassandra at the wedding, dorothy baker phd student cassandra returns home attend (sabotage) her twin sister judith’s wedding to a young doctor whose name she refuses to remember, believing that her sister secretly wants out. cass is a mess, and as a shift to judith’s perspective reveals, definitely wrong about what judith wants and maybe a little delusional, but also a ridiculously compelling narrator, the brilliant but troubled contrast to judith’s safer conventionality. on the whole, cassandra’s narrative voice is the strongest feature of a book i otherwise found a bit slow & a bit heavy on the quirky family. fav line is when cass, post-character-development, plans to “take a quick look at [her] dumb thesis and see if it might lead to something less smooth and more revolting, or at least satisfying more than the requirements of the University”. 3/5

the office of historical corrections, danielle evans a very solid collection of realist short stories (+ the titular novella), mainly dealing with racism, (black) womanhood, relationships between women, and anticolonial/antiracist historiography. while i thought all the stories were well-done and none stood out as weak or an unnecessary inclusion, there also weren’t any that really stood out to me. 3/5

sonnenfinsternis, arthur koestler (english title: darkness at noon) (audio) you know what’s cool about this book? when i added it to my goodreads tbr in 2012, i would have had to read it in translation as the german original was lost during koestler’s escape from the nazis, but since then, the original has been rediscovered and republished. yet another proof that leaving books on your tbr for ages is a good thing actually. anyway. this is a story about the stalinist purges, told thru old bolshevik rubashov, who, after serving the Party loyally for years & doing his fair share of selling people out for the Party, is arrested for ~oppositional activities. in jail and during his interrogations, rubashov reflects on the course the Party has taken and his own part (and guilt) in that, and the way totalitarianism has eaten up and poisoned even the most commendable ideals the Party once held (and still holds?), the course of history and at what point the end no longer justifies the means. it’s brilliant, rubashov is brilliant and despicable, i’m very happy it was rediscovered. 5/5

heads of the colored people, nafissa thompson-spires another really solid short story collection, also focused on the experiences of black people in america (particularly the black upper-middle class), black womanhood and black relationships, altho with a somewhat more satirical tone than danielle evans’s collection. standouts for me were the story in letters between the mothers of the only black girls at a private school, a story about a family of fruitarians, and a story about a girl who fetishises her disabled boyfriend(s). 3.5/5

pedro páramo, juan rulfo (gernan transl. by dagmar ploetz) mexican classic about a rich and abusive landowner (the titular pedro paramo) and the ghost town he leaves behind - quite literally, as, when his son tries to find his father, the town is full of people, quite ready to talk shit about pedro, but they are all dead. it’s an interesting setting with occasionally vivid writing, but the skips in time and character were kind of confusing and i lost my place a lot. i’d be interested in reading rulfo’s other major work, el llano en llamas. 2.5/5

verse für zeitgenossen, mascha kaléko short collection of the poems kaléko, a jewish german poet, wrote while in exile in the united states in the 30-40s, as well as some poems written after the end of ww2. kaléko’s voice is witty, but at turns also melancholy or satirical. as expected i preferred the pieces that directly addressed the experience of exile (”sozusagen ein mailied” is one of my favourite exillyrik pieces). 3/5

the harpy, megan hunter yeah this was boooooooring. the cover is really cool & the premise sounded intriguing (women gets cheated on, makes deal with husband that she is allowed to hurt him three times in revenge, women is also obsessed with harpies: female revenge & female monsters is my jam) but it’s literally so dull & trying so hard to be deep. 1.5/5

the liar’s dictionary, eley williams this is such a delightful book, from the design (those marbled endpapers? yes) to the preface (all about what a dictionary is/could be), to the chapter headings (A-Z words, mostly relating to lies, dishonesty, etc in some way or another, containing at least one fictitious entry), to the dual plots (intern at new edition of a dictionary in contemporary england checking the incomplete old dictionary for mountweazels vs 1899 london with the guy putting the mountweazels in), to williams’s clear joy about words and playing with them. there were so many lines that made me think about how to translate them, which is always a fun exercise. 3.5/5

catherine the great & the small, olja knežević (tr. from montenegrin by ellen elias-bursać, paula gordon) coming-of-age-ish novel about katarina from montenegro, who grows up in  titograd/podgorica and belgrad in the 70s/80s, eventually moving to london as an adult. to be honest while there are some interesting aspects in how this portrays yugoslavia and conflicts between the different parts of yugoslavia, i mostly found this a pretty sloggy slog of misery without much to emotionally connect to, which is sad bc i was p excited for it :(. 2/5

the decameron project: 29 new stories from the pandemic, anthology a collection of short stories written during covid lockdown (and mostly about covid/lockdown in some way). they got a bunch of cool authors, including margaret atwood, edwidge danticat, rachel kushner ... it’s an interesting project and the stories are mostly pretty good, but there wasn’t one that really stood out to me as amazing. i also kinda wish more of the stories had diverged more from covid/lockdown thematically bc it got a lil repetitive tbh. 2/5

[existentialyoutubers]

interactive introverts milwaukee

i know it’s late but here is a list of ~spoilery~ things that happened at the milwaukee show! 

(seriously, it’s super full of spoilers so don’t read if you haven’t seen the show yet/don’t want to know what happens)

(also this got long as heck so enjoy?)

Simulation:

-Phil said they spent billions of Milwaukee dollars on it -Dan called them “cheese coins, because that’s a thing” -there was a Horse Prince reference at the beginning (Dan’s head on a horses body) -Dan made a comment about how of all the references we were going to get, we probably weren’t expecting that -Dan yelled at us for cheering for Satan (it’s because he’s shirtless isn’t it?) -he kept bringing up that the people in the balcony loved Satan -also commented that clearly they weren’t in Texas anymore because of that -Phil’s ending was him going home to watch “Fletnix” and crying -they yelled at us for making Phil cry -Phil asking if we wanted Dan to go through the Lady Door -Dan’s ending had him sneaking into the girls bathroom at a furry rave, hitting his head, and dying -Dan was indignant at this “THAT WAS THE WORST POSSIBLE ENDING YOU COULD GET” Survey: -clipboards and glasses -“everyone knows glasses make you smarter” -Dan dabbed for math and Phil yelled at him -“you can’t dAB for mATH” -“yes I can watch me” *Dan dabs again* -pie chart (Dan said they spent their entire budget on that pie chart so that was the peak of the show) -12% of people said they didn’t know who Dan and Phil were and the boys were SO CONFUSED -“whERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?” -“is it all the parents???” -“what do you think this is, Shrek the musical?” -16% of people said danandphilCRAFTS is their favorite video series and they were even more confused -Dan was on the wheel and he was not happy about it -he kept trying to get Phil to shoot random people in the audience -Phil was wearing an apron and rubber gloves and called it his serial killer look -Phil was pointing the slingshot at Dan and Dan freaked out “whERE ARE YOU POINTING THAT THING” -“at your leg” -“looks like you’re pointing it at my face” (he definitely was) -Phil hit Dan in the upper thigh with the slingshot -Dan freaked and commented about how Phil would have “hit me in the nuts” if he hadn’t moved his leg -Phil missed with the bow and arrow and the bazooka -when it was over Dan practically jumped off the wheel he was in such a hurry -“bloody frick” and then he repeated it like he couldn’t believe he had just said that -Dan had to help Phil with his apron -Phil had to help Dan get the coverup off -everyone started cheering when Dan took it off -he yelled at us and moved almost off stage -he got his foot stuck and Phil had to help Collective Mind: -we were all called Linda (L-slice) -some people messed up the picking a dog/pointing thing but Dan said they were valid -some people also messed up the clapping thing -they weren’t as happy about that -“it’s ON three what’s wrong with you?” -we had to do it like three or four times -it was super satisfying when we got it though -Dan said it made him feel tingly and he rubbed his nipples and Phil told him to stop -before they passed around the beach balls Phil said that if you had when the music stopped and you didn’t want it you could give it to someone else -it was very soft and sweet -the things in Dan’s box were a hair straightener (he had to lock his emo phase in a box), his dentist kink video (it was so cringey he locked the SD card in the box), and a golden lady door (why is it golden???) -one of the girls nearly hit Phil in the face when she threw the ball back (“wow that was violent!”) -Dan kept commenting on Phil’s balls and how he couldn’t keep control of them because Phil kept dropping them -every time he’d pick one up he’d drop another Truth Bombs: -one of Dan’s was if he started a religion what would it be called  -one option was ‘hi, my name is [jesus]’ and Dan goes “you just roasted me and Jesus”  -another was ‘lolzr xD llamas...ism  -Dan picked that one but said you can’t just add ism on the end that doesn’t count -Phil got what’s on his internet browsing history (I genuinely can’t remember the rest oops) Dan vs. Phil: -the psychic category was dog breeds -Dan said Shib (of course) and Phil said chihuahua -“wHY WOULD YOU SAY CHIHUAHUA” -“it was the first thing that came to mind” -“that’s nOT THE POINT OF THE GAME” -for the dilemmas, Dan said he’d do anything for Phil -Dan’s dilemma was that Phil’s houseplants would never die but Dan’s entire internet history would be uploaded -it was no contest for him, he said he absolutely would never do that -Phil’s dilemma was that Dan would become an athlete but he would miss a single Christmas -he said it would be worth it -Dan lost 2-1 -the overall score is 28-26 in Dan’s favor -Dan says it’s because he’s number one Phil trash Good vs. Bad: -Dan tried to explain the wholesome Howell thing -Phil used a really deep voice the entire time (X-rated Lester) -they both failed the first and got the second one, but Dan failed the last one and Phil got it -Phil’s first one was a tasty meal and he started rambling about dog food and beetles and dog waiters -his second one was hugs and he turned it into getting hugged by an alien and them opening up and eating you -Dan commented that he should write horror...or at least tentacle fanfiction -his last one was a million puppies and he talked about getting smothered by them and dying (Dan said that’s the way he wants to die) -Dan’s first was infinity wars spoilers and he claimed they were good because then you’re not surprised by the emotional trauma -his second was his old branding and he basically said it was good because you can learn from it and move forward -his last one was the G note and he basically forfeited and stormed off the stage saying he couldn’t make that a good thing Dan, Phil or Rat: -the first one was just totally white and it was Phil’s guess -he was like “is that me? am I really that white?” so he guessed himself and got it right -Dan made a joke about how the only D Phil needs is vitamin D -Dan’s guess was basically just completely black -he was like “is that a rat? is that Phil’s hair?” -he guessed rat and got it right Golden I Awards: -Most inaccurate prediction of the show  -first was Dan and Phil pogo sticking with Nick Jonas (Dan got mad that Nick is engaged now and that they can’t be buddies in London anymore #ripdick)  -next was Phil falling off stage, Dan screaming, and everyone’s heads exploding  -the winner was a seven hour long titanic musical (Phil said Dan could be the boat, Dan agreed because Phil makes him want to break in half and sink) -Pets dressed as Dan and Phil -the first was a cat in a plaid shirt -Dan laughed about how any animal in a plaid shirt is just immediately Phil -next was a dog wrapped in a black blanket -the epitome of Dan clearly -the winner was a dog in Dan’s signature eclipse T-shirt -Phil commented on how that dog was more photogenic than Dan ever will be -Dan said that dog slayed his entire life Casual Chat: -Phil something about getting intimate at the same time as Dan said getting personal -Dan goes “I was okay with personal but noooo you had to say intimate” -the first question was what their favorite videos were -they both said the photo booth challenge because it was so stupid but hilarious -Dan also said they’d never cried so violently whilst editing a video (from laughing so much) -someone sent in that they had a presentation coming up and they were scared they were going to pee on the floor -Dan goes “is that a question or are you just letting us know?” -their advice was basically that everyone feels the same way so don’t worry too much -and Dan said also to wear an adult diaper -another girl said her brother had replaced her with fortnite -Dan was like yeah I relate Phil did the same thing to me -too much fortnite talk after that Random: -Phil got attacked by a seagull on his way from the bus to the building -he was very dramatic about it -Dan says that’s what he gets for going outside for three seconds -Dan made a comment later about cannibalistic seagulls -Dan said this was the worst place for Phil to be because it’s the cheese state -“the buildings are made of cheese, you’re all made of cheese” -Dan -apparently Phil is just constantly lactose intolerant in Wisconsin -apparently our show was originally just going to be cheese curd wrestling -according to Dan it would have been perfect “with the hexagon just put up some nets and fill it with cheese” -Dan called someone out for having their iPhone out -“can you put that down the glare is blinding me” -then they were joking about the tension in the air after that -Phil was waving his fingers in the air “I can feel the tension around you” -Dan’s response “I don’t think the tension wants you touching it like that” -Phil had on a badgers hat for the rap -he also dropped the B word and everyone dIED -they were talking about changes and Dan brought up Phil’s new hair -his conspiracy theory is that this Phil is a clone and that it killed the real Phil -“WHERE IS THE BODY?” -Phil shot back that this Dan must be a clone too with the curly hair -Dan acted shocked/concerned every time everyone cheered about something strange (they said they were going to drop 20,000 lbs of ice on us, also they were going to release bees into the crowd) -so much teasing Phil about the dead houseplants -Dan called him the Dexter of houseplants -at one point Dan said something about how Loki the houseplant was doing as good as actual Loki and the crowd just died -he also made a “I don’t feel so good” reference and there was much screaming/protesting -there was a moment when Phil misread something and then joked about his apparently useless English degree 

  -Phil 100% came close to falling off the stage about three times -seriously one of the times was so close Dan actually got worried -also Dan seemed concerned that Phil may not be able to make it onto the piano for the duet -there was an audible sigh of relief from Dan once Phil hopped up onto the piano

[vddls-blog]

Friend reader, imagine a place where you could cross 15 clones of the One Piece Hero, eat octopus balls, buy cat ears (stuffed!), Be photographed on the back of a virtual pig or receive a lot of cuddles coming from perfect unknowns … Impossible, do you think? Well no ! This idyllic world, strange, perfect, crazy, kawai (bar useless mentions) exists. His name is Japan Expo!

Favorite robot..

As you say right now, I'm not mad about manga. Although I have the pseudo "BDphilou", it is especially the Franco-Belgian comics that has always fascinated me. Younger, I still loved the cartoon "Akira" which remains a reference of the Manga genre but other than that, few have caught my attention.

In these conditions, why go to the Japan Expo? Especially since I'm not able to quote any minor character of Naruto or to sing the least credits of cartoons appeared after 1985? Well it's simple: Japan Expo is an experience in itself!

For those who do not know at all what Japan Expo is, know that it is a kind of huge living room based at the Paris Nord Villepinte exhibition center. And what do we see? An incredible amount of stands more or less in connection with Japan in general and Jap'animation " in particular.

On the menu of this event many different activities:

Of shopping in the countless shops of the show selling everything and often anything: Who wants to buy cats paws stuffed? Or keychains in the shape of Cup Cake? Or very "kawaïs" stuffed animals representing llamas (yes, I'm still looking for the relationship with Japan), bottles of fruit juice with real pieces of fruit inside? And lots of other objects as useless as necessary.

of the course martial arts, wrestling (!?!), calligraphy, majong, cooking and – in the midst of the deafening sound of the Yoga Salon!

of the restaurants selling a whole lot of Asian specialties as tasty as unexpected. Well, do not count on me to give you my impression on the menus, I had loosely bought my sandwich at the station just before entering the exhibition!

of the scenes where groups of Japanese singers-unknown to ordinary European mortals-whose average age should not exceed 15 years, make a real card to the applaudimeter.

of the conferences more or less surprising. Thus, one could religiously listen to the creator of the hit video game series "Crazy Taxi" that explained how he had designed his game … or go a few tens of meters away to see a huge crowd cheering a big yellow stuffed that had a badly mad to move and who was screaming in incomprehensible language!

of the stands for the less curious where you are offered to sit on a cube and in front of a green background. A snapshot and 2 minutes later, you leave with a picture of you on a virtual pig with written: "Seven Deadly Sins". Why ? How? What happened there? So many questions that will remain unanswered!

Stands video games represented a little by Sony and a lot by Nintendo. It was also the part of the noisiest room. It must be said that the animators visibly confused the verbs "comment" and "scream" to describe what everyone could yet see on giant screens.

But ESPECIALLY: there is Cosplay !

Well sorry for this old-fashioned reference to Captain Flamme, but as I said above, I'm not super up to date on the latest Japanese cartoons. So, back to our sushi, and unlike this as one might think, the most interesting point of the Japan Expo is not necessarily in the various stands and activities on offer. No ! It is indeed in its alleys that is all the "salt" of this event. Indeed, many visitors are " cosplayers ". Understand that they made the trip to walk in the living room fully disguised as heroes of manga and / or video games. But be careful, do not imagine the costume knitted quickly by Tati Huguette the eve of the last year's holiday party. Here it is really about often impressive costumes. We feel that most Cosplayers had to spend a considerable amount of time designing the smallest details of their clothes. It goes from the simplest (The Hero of One Piece with his red jacket and his straw hat was very well represented) to costumes simply impressive or confusing realism. So even though, like me, you only know the 10th characters crossed in the aisles of the show, it is obvious that your eyes will naturally be attracted by all these creations. Thus, Ariel the little Mermaid rubs Cobra with her cigar, Princess Amidala talks with a zombie nurse and the Spartan "300" queues at fast food with a warrior looking straight out of prehistory! Surreal and very fun at the same time. Especially since all this beautiful world is very easily affordable and will be happy to ask for any objective on request from you. Some even give you a business card so you can take a look at their website presenting each of their costumes!

As you can see, strolling the aisles of the show is an attraction of every moment.

To conclude this little report, I realize that I forgot to talk to you about many things. For example, we could notice the locations for dedications of Japanese authors well known who were not so far from those young amateur designers seeking to break through by presenting their first fanzine. I also forgot to mention the presence of a clone of Freddy Mercury vacuuming on stage with a giant panda (!! ??). And how not to mention people walking around with their signs " Free Hugs ". Understand that they propose to hug you, just for fun! I could also talk to you a little about video games by telling you quickly that I was able to watch a fight from the next Super Smash Bros (to be released at the end of the year on Wii U) on a giant screen. This was the 1era European public presentation, if I'm not mistaken. And the baffles are flying low, believe me! I also discovered " Splatoon (Still on Wii U / planned release in February 2015). A game of confrontation with 4 players against 4 where it will be the team repainting the largest area of ​​the playground. To move faster, you must … turn into a squid! (???) A game perfectly in keeping with the spirit of the show: completely barred and incredibly endearing! Well, there are still 1000 things to tell about the Japan Expo but I prefer to leave you the surprise to live them in one of the next editions! Sayonara!

[stitchedmouthsandopeneyes]

Just ignore this

I’m trying to make this blog more organized. And to do that, I need a basic, updatable system reference.

As always, each category is divided into subcategories, with those subcategories also divided into smaller subcategories and so on.

———

Most basic (main) tags:

#mine and #not mine

Then the main categories:

#knitting #crochet #sewing #felting #cross stitch #embroidery #quilting

Specific item types:

#pillow #hat #blanket #scarf #sweater #granny square #doily #pouch #pattern #toy #untagged

Usage of untagged tag:

#untagged = the general tag for all posts without at least one of the specific item type tags above, even if using (a) detail tag(s).

Sometimes this tag is still used when the post fits a specific item type (or even multiple).

This occurs when it doesn’t feel like the post fits quite right under that tag. It may resemble or be made out of an item, but overall be something I don’t have a tag for.

Seasonal/detail tags:

#halloween #christmas #additional materials needed #llama #cactus #no pattern #added to #cassidy added something to this

Specialty tags:

#tagging #tips #need #gift ideas

Tips can also be broke down:

#knitting tips #crochet tips #embroidery tips #felting tips #quilting tips #untagged tips

And as always:

#i dont know how to tag this

— — —

Examples of what variations of this could look like:

#not mine #knitting #sweater #halloween

#not mine #embroidery #cactus

#not mine #crochet #blanket #pattern #no pattern

#not mine #crochet #doily #untagged

##

#

#mine

#i dont know how to tag this

[dalilaswork]

Prompt starters (Llamas with hats)

1. There’s a dead human in our house 2. Oh, hey… how did he get here? 3. What did you do?  4. I didn’t do this 5. Explain what happened. 6. I’ve never seen him before in my life. 7. Why did you kill this person? 8. I don’t ____. That is my least favourite thing to do. 9. Tell me exactly what were you doing before I got home. 10. …and I like stabbed him 37 times in the chest. 11. That kills people! 12. Oh, wow. I didn’t know that. 13. Yeah, I’m in the wrong here. I suck. 14. What happened to his hands? His hands - why are they missing? 15. I was hungry… 16. My stomach was making the rumblies, that only _____ would satisfy. 17. What is wrong with you? 18. I’m not sure what you’re referring to. 19. You sunk an entire cruise ship! 20. Are you sure that was me? I think I would remember something like that. 21. That sounds dangerous. 22. That must have been horrifying to watch. 23. You were making out with ice sculptures. 24. Thank God that the children weren’t around to see it. 25. Why is the floor all red and sticky? 26. What are we standing in? 27. Would you believe it’s strawberry milkshake? 28. It’s the lovely elderly couple from 2B 29. I will not apologize for art. 30. I didn’t even notice that. 31. I have a problem, I have a serious problem. 32. Shh, do you hear that? It’s the sound of forgiveness. 33. That’s the sound of people dying. 34. That’s what forgiveness sounds like - screaming and then silence. 35. We’re supposed to be on vacation! 36. I don’t know about you, but I’m having wonderful time. 37. Viva la resistance. 38. He was a traitor and a scoundrel. 39. That explains why my mojito was taking so long. 40. I can’t go anywhere with you. 41. That hurt my feelings. 42. I want to go home. 43. Just forget it, I’m not even shocked anymore. 44. This has become norm for you 45. I’ll have to try harder next time. 46. I totally don’t remember your name. 47. We’ve known each other for three years and you don’t remember my name? 48. And what an impression you’ve made? 49. I thought you were a woman. 50. Well, if you excuse me I have some pictures to delete from my computer. 51. That right there is a mess. 52. They’re clearly your footsteps. They lead directly to you! 53. There must be an imposter on the loose. 54. Happy birthday! 55. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this. 56. You’ve gone too far this time. 57. How did you even do this? 58. Who’s laughing? Clearly not all the people who just exploded. 59. I’m leaving, I’ve had enough of this 60. This isn’t friendship, this is sick. 61. You’re right, this isn’t nearly as tasteful as I pictured it in my head. 62. I think I’m gonna throw up - Oh God, one touched me… 63. This was clearly the wrong way to go.       You think? 65. That isn’t even the problem, why would you think any of this was a good idea? 66. Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that. 67. I know you’ve done something! 68. It’s a lovely day out, we’re having a good time - what have you done?! 69. I am a respected member of the community. 70. I apologize, that was wrong. 71. I think I was expecting worse. 72. I don’t understand how or why you do anything. 73. Do you know how it feels like to be me right now? It hurts. 74. I’m moving out. 75. I’m sure it’s very upsetting. 76. You know what’s gross? Your attitude. 77. Are you serious? 78. What have I done to deserve this? It’s everything. Everything you’ve done ever. 79. You buried her there! 80. All you do is ____ people! 81. That looks like a meat dragon… did you finish your meat dragon? 82. We’re not friends anymore. 83. How would you feel if I called your work a monstrosity? 84. You don’t even care, do you? About my feelings. 85. I don’t even know who you are anymore. 86. I want to be treated like a friend. 87. Why can’t you go horrify someone else? 88.I miss your grumpy face. 89. You’ve made a mask of my face? 90. It’s not grump enough. 91. Also, you might want to avoid federal investigators. 92. I’m calling the police. 93. You know there isn’t a prison I can’t nibble my way out. 94. I’ve got nowhere to go. 95. And whose fault is that? 96. I gave you every chance I could. 97. I can’t do it anymore. 100. I’m not listening anymore. 101. I’m sorry flesh meat is so ungrateful. 102. After all we’ve been through… 103. You do such incredible things and deserve appreciation. 104. He’ll come around. 105. You came back. 106. You must finish your work. 107. You’re better than that. 108. You sure like your yelling. 109. I can’t see anything. 110. You need to get out. 111. You had a terrible fall. 112. I think my legs are broken. 113. How long have I been down there? 114. Were you always this creepy? 115.That’s not gonna work, I’m in too bad a mood. 116. You killed all those people. 117.Why are you still yelling at me? 118. That was my favourite. 119. I think you’re a liar and a cheat. 120. It’s almost time. 121. He’s going to be most mad at you. 122. You’re an imposter. 123. I’m coming in, I’m sorry if this violates your restraining order but it’s important. 124. I guess you’re gone…

[fanfictionreviews-blog1]

Fan Fiction Review - Dan Howell x Reader ~ It Doesn’t Have A Title What  A Great Way To Start This Off ~

Before I start this off I’d like to issue a disclaimer:

If you wrote this fanfiction, or you know who did or whatever, I don’t hate you, and this isn’t made to bully people who write fanfiction, I’m just having some fun, you know? Don’t get butt hurt, essentially. Also, I’m no grammar-Stephan Hawking, so don’t be surprised if I make a few mistakes myself, I am human after all, but as I say - this is just for fun.

This fanfiction can be found here.

Right then, let’s get started. *Purposely avoids making a Keemstar joke.*

~Analysis:

I walk around he cold streets of London. I am wearing my leather jacket a llama shirt and skinny jeans. I walk down the streets listening to alphabet boy.

So we’re four words in and we can already see that this author evidently doesn’t proof-read their work. Also, just in case you didn’t pick it up, they’re walking down the streets, alright?

I mumble the song. “My alphabet boy..Alphabet boy..” I then walk into a anime store where I see a tall man looking at the death note things.

Aside from the speech, every sentence has started with ‘I’. How captivating. We can also see that the author doesn’t like to capitalize names, apart from one occasion, but that was almost definitely due to the two full-stops placed directly before the letter A. That’s another thing. An ellipsis has three full stops in it, like this:

...

No more, no less. Three. So when you use two, it just looks like you had a second long stroke when you were pressing the period key and only managed two full stops before passing out.

~~~~ This means I skipped a paragraph or two by the way. 

I saw him on a book. The Amazing book is not on fire. I looked at one page of the book. (And only one.) His name is Daniel. He likes the color black and also llamas are his animal of choice.

Back at it again with the lack of capitalization! Is that a stale meme yet? Anyway, on this occasion, we got the first word of the sentence AND the next word capitalized in ‘The Amazing book is not on fire’. This is, truly, random capitalization. Author, do you know what sentence variation is? Please use it, because, correct me if I'm wrong but, I haven’t seen one comma so far.

~~~~

“Yeah me and my best friend are sorta like the people who made ‘PROTIP’ and ‘don’t cry.. Craft’ I’m the comments on every YouTube video..” He laughed.

 So they’re ‘sorta like’ the people who made ‘PROTIP’ and ‘don’t cry... Craft.’ Some say that Pyrocynical is ‘sorta like’ leafyishere. See what I mean?

It seems to be a reoccurring theme in Dan Howell fanfictions to often refer to Phil as his ‘best friend’ and not just Phil and vice versa... Why? And I’m pretty sure Dan isn’t the comments on every YouTube video, as he probably would have killed himself by now.

“So that’s why ok pewdiepies beard video people commented PROTIP.. Thank god you told me! I was worried a tip was taking over the world!” (Woah you’re so funny.) I say in a sarcastic voice. “to be honest it sorta has” he puts down something he picked up.

Guys, today we don’t even get capital letters at the beginning of a sentence. 

Thanks for more evidence to support the fact that you don’t proof-read your work.

You know, the rule ‘new speaker, new line’ is a very useful one, as it allows the reader to distinguish which character is talking without having to read the passage seventeen times, but it is also a rule that many fanfiction writers don’t use. Shame. 

“Want to go get some coffee or something?” He asked. “If not I can give-” I cut him off. “Sure we can get some coffee. Do you want to buy anything first?” I asked him. He nodded and grabbed a L plush. I went with him when he got it and we walked out together.

I don’t know Dan aside from watching a few of his videos, but I’m pretty sure if he just met a fan, he wouldn’t ask them on a date straight away. Have you ever seen Evan Edinger’s video on dating a YouTuber with Ash Hardell? Watch it. 

Grammar lesson time! When addressing an object that begins with a vowel, (in this case, the name ‘L’.)  you would USUALLY use ‘an’ instead of ‘a’, if you don’t it just kind of sounds bad.

As we walked down the side walk we talked about movies, songs, bands.. At coffee we honestly most likely won’t have anything to talk about.

I had to include this because, guys, WE GOT OUR FIRST FUCKING COMMA. Hell yeah, it’s not like we’re halfway through the narrative or anything! They don’t even use the commas in a correct way to form a list, like you’re meant to have ‘and’ before the last item in the list.

Who refers to a coffee shop/cafe as just ‘coffee’? Actually, that whole sentence sounds like a seven-year-old wrote it - I think it’s descriptive enough to use one adverb. Look:

‘we honestly most likely won’t have anything to talk about.’

Or

‘we honestly won’t have anything to talk about.’

Which sounds better? I think the only time you would use more than one adverb in this particular context would be to add emphasis, but there is no evidence in this passage to suggest that that’s what the author was trying to do.

We walk into scooter (no Starbucks) and get our drinks. (Damn you’re so original and unique, yeah, Starbucks is for trashy white girls and basic bitches.) Once we sit down Dan puts his phone on the table. “Wanna like.. Swap numbers?” He asked in a shy tone. “Yeah! Sure.” I handed him my phone and he handed me his. I went to the contacts and added a new one. I put my number and the name as ‘weird anime girl’ (weeaboo) and handed it back in him.

What, you just put his phone in his mouth or something? At least I hope that’s what you meant by ‘in him’. God, I’ve got no one to blame but myself for that one.

The fact that you felt the need to clarify that you’re not going to Starbucks made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Thanks.

This would be the perfect moment for a crazy-stalker-fangirl to steal Dan’s phone and make a run for it, so I think the chances of this happening in real life is slim to none. Sorry guys.

~~~~

A bunch of basic white girls look at us like we are crazy. (Most likely cause we are) and we but out lip trying not to laugh.

I’m full on fucking cringing now.

Damn, those pesky basic white girls we so much better than them because we’re crazy!

I guess the basic white girls found your even-more-hipster coffee shop, better go to the strange man in the dark alleyway who sells ‘human poop’ coffee beans, I’m sure they won’t find you there.

What the hell does ‘but out lip’ mean? I honestly don’t know what they were trying to say either. I have no fucking idea.

~~~~ Dan invites Reader to go to Dan’s flat. Reader accepts the invite.

I looked at Dan again. (Why did we just switch tenses?) His eyes where (ugh) on phils computer. Looking at what Phil was scrolling though. I bit my lip. Not on purpose I just.. Did it.

I was thinking about what I could compliment about this fanfiction, and I thought that I should mention the author’s ability to stay in the same tense. But no, you blew it. Sorry.

This is where Reader gets really dreamy about Dan, by the way.

Dans perfect his hair.. (Makes perfect sense.) His eyes. His eyes are not even blue they are just so beautiful. His everything. Then his personality. It’s perfect. It’s a mix of so many wonderful things. He is just so..

Great.

Perfect.

I can relate to him too.

I feel in love at first site.

Oh, fuck, just that last line with the janky English and the wrong use of ‘site.’ That’s it, this can’t get any worse from now on. 

No, it can. It definitely can.

When I read this, all I can hear is James Veitch reading it to me, like he does with the scam emails and the broken English. If you have no idea what I am talking about, click here.

There’s a three years time skip into the future from now on by the way.

Mentally prepare yourself for this next part. 

I think. That’s how I met my boyfriend. “You know.. I feel in love with you at first sight.” I turned over to him. “I did too. And that’s why” he got down on a knee and took something out.

“Will you merry me?” He asked opening the box up to showed a wonderful ring. “Y-yes!” I managed to say and he stood up and kissed me. I kissed him back.

I can’t believe it.

WILL YOU MERRY ME? FUCK. The ‘a’ key isn’t really near the ‘e’ key on a keyboard so I have no idea how you fucked that one up. 

The sentence ‘I feel in love with you at first sight.’ makes you sound like English isn’t your mother tongue. And to be honest, it’s fucking hilarious.

That’s the end of it by the way.

~Conclusion:

That was painful.

I'll give credit when it’s due, at least this isn’t the Hat Fic. Who the fuck actually wrote that anyway?  

Right.

I suppose it wasn’t the worst, but it was also nowhere near the best. Author, you still need to make some improvements. I give this one shot three Casey Neistat Okay-Hand-Signals out of ten.

On a serious note, I think it’s definitely worth proof-reading, as when you make grammar mistakes it just makes your work look half-arsed.

Try not to use scenarios that wouldn’t happen in real life, otherwise, you might just become the early Review Movie World of fanfiction. (Can you tell I watch Pyro?) I suppose this includes writing about dating and sex if you’ve never dated or had sex before because that can definitely lead to some inaccurate scenes. Not all sex is like porn, horny fourteen-year-olds.

Thanks for reading guys, do feel free to leave me some constructive criticism. (That’s not gonna fucking happen, is it?) 

One like = One kid who identifies as an attack helicopter, sent straight to your door.

And yeah, I’ll see you in the next review!

-Pluto