#i also love to troll chris

[s-dei]

Chris Redfield can't understand this life

[illyanarasputinfan]

X-Men Blue: Origins #1 (2023) MARVEL

I know some comic book readers are upset to learn Mystique and Destiny are Nightcrawler’s biological parents, but personally, I think that it is fantastic. When I learned of Chris Claremont’s idea to make the couple Kurt’s parent years ago, I thought it was strange, cool, and would NEVER be allowed at Marvel Comics. So as a queer kid disappointed that this revelation was scrapped in favor of making Azazel Kurt’s father, I found this retcon especially delightful. Is it convoluted? Yes. Is it awesome? Also yes. Sorry, not sorry, Internet trolls. This type of inclusivity and acceptance are exactly what I’ve loved about X-Men for decades. Kudos to Si Spurrier for making it canon. 👏

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗧𝗜𝗞𝗧𝗢𝗞 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 | 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝟰

���　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: 4 times that Y/N and Matt made a couple's trend on tiktok.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Kinda?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

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1. Decorating my boyfriend's car super girly and seeing his reaction

Going downstairs quietly so as not to wake anyone, considering it was still too early for any of the triplets - and even Y/N - to be awake, Y/N entered the garage. Matt's car, an impeccably clean black one, was there, parked and oblivious to what was coming.

The girl turned on the room light and made sure she had closed the door before finally unlocking the car ones by simply touching the small control in her hands.

Opening the driver's door with her unoccupied hand, Y/N climbed in, sitting down on the seat, a sound of complaint escaping her throat as she noticed how far and low the seat was - obviously adjusted for Matt's height. She quickly adjusted the position of it until she felt comfortable and, finally, put her phone in the support attached to the lower center of the windowshield, exactly where the boys supported their camera during car videos, her right hand instinctively flying towards the ceiling lights, turning it on.

Y/N unlocked the device and quickly browsed through the apps until she found TikTok, opening it and entering the recording space, adjusting the focus to ensure that every detail was captured, and pressed the red button.

"Good morning, TikTok!" The girl muttered in a low tone, a mischievous glint clearly apparent in her eyes. "Today, I'm going to do the biggest trolling of all in my boyfriend's car. Let’s turn it into a real preppy car!"

Y/N started by taking the first piece from the box of items she had prepared: a pink fuzzy cover for the steering wheel. The cover was a vibrant pink, with a soft, cozy feel to the touch.

Y/N carefully slid the cover over its right place, making sure every inch was covered and fitted perfectly. The fluff glowed below the yellow light, giving the steering wheel a luxurious, exaggerated appearance.

Then, she picked up two pink cup holders, filled with glitter, both twinkling every time the light hit one of them, as if it was full of little stars. Y/N laughed to herself as she placed them on the center console's cup rests, fitting them in and smiling widely when she noticed how perfect the size was.

"Matt will love putting our morning Starbucks here, for sure.” The girl murmured, looking up and sending a wink towards the camera.

The next step was to decorate the air conditioning vents. Y/N had bought several mini pink decorations, also full of glitter, each one more extravagant than the last. There were little hearts, stars, and even some fake diamonds. She carefully attached each to the air vents, adjusting until they were all secure and at a good enough distance to notice them all.

"Get ready for style and glamor to be blown throughout the car when Chris asks Matt to turn on the air conditioning during videos." She joked while still adjusting the last small items.

The car's gearshift could not be forgotten. Y/N pulled out a smaller sized pink fuzzy cover, specially designed. It was soft to the touch, matching the steering wheel cover perfectly. She slid it over the gear, adjusting it so it was secure, her right hand closing around the cover, smiling as she felt the small hairs caressing her palm.

Finally, to complete the look, Y/N took a pink diamond-shaped pendant, stretching her upper body upwards and extending her hands, hanging it around the rearview mirror. The pendant swayed slightly by itself, reflecting the light and casting small colored reflections throughout the interior of the all car.

"I feel like I'm in Barbie: a Fashion Fairytale." Y/N said, letting out a nasal laugh, resting her back against the backrest of the seat so that her eyes could analyze every corner of the car, admiring her final work.

She then turned her attention back to her cell.

"Alright, guys, the car is ready. Now we just need to wait for Matt to wake up and see his reaction."

The video stopped at that moment before it returned seconds later.

"I went upstairs after fixing the last details and woke up Matt, I made up that I was hungry, but that I wanted to have breakfast at a café." Y/N began with a hushed tone, now sitting in the passenger seat, her phone now in her hands. "I waited for him to get up and get ready before telling him I would wait for him in the car."

It didn't take long and soon Y/N heard Matt's footsteps coming down the stairs that led to the garage, her eyes looking up in time to see the silhouette of her boyfriend appearing in the doorway. She pressed her lips into a thin line in an attempt to contain her laughter.

Her eyes followed Matt's steps, who walked quickly towards the driver's seat door, the sound of the door opening echoing through the small space was followed by anticipation on Y/N's part, who looked at the camera to Matt and back again, waiting for his reaction.

"Hey, sweet girl, I'm sorry it took me so..." He interrupted his own sentence, his movements instantly stopping for a few seconds. "Y/N! What- What did you do to my car?!" Matt's voice echoed in a tone of disbelief, the surprise evident on his face not yet visible to the phone camera.

"Come on, babe, sit down so you can take a better look at this incredible work I did just for you." The girl asked in a fake sweet tone, smiling openly and leaning her upper body over the console, extending her right arm so that her hand could touch Matt's, holding it firmly and pulling him inside.

The boy, still wide-eyed and surprised, obeyed, sitting on the leather covered seat - already arranged again to his own taste - and closing the door with a thud.

"Where- When did you even get all those things?" Matt questioned again, his blue eyes quickly traveling over every pink detail before turning his attention back to Y/N, his mouth slightly open.

"Yesterday, duh." The girl answered as if it was obvious, shrugging her shoulders before her neutral expression broke into a smile again. "Did you like it? It's pretty, right? I'm sure your videos will be much cooler now."

"Babe, oh my God." Matt's voice sounded airy, eliciting a laugh from Y/N. He didn't know where to focus his attention, different shades of pink calling his eyes from every corner. "I can't lie. It looks so good." The boy finally reached out with his hands, his fingers curling around his steering wheel, pressing lightly against the extremely fluffy fabric over his palm.

"I know, right?" Y/N responded excitedly, briefly glancing at her cell that was still recording them. "Look at the cup holder, babe!" Her tone rose as she reached out toward the console, pointing to the pink cup holder with her index finger.

"So I can put in your favorite Starbucks drink every morning, huh?" Matt lowered his gaze to the item, shaking his head amusedly as he heard his girlfriend agree excitedly.

"Next step: getting the car wrapped in pink."

"Are you crazy?"

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2. Pretending to be asleep to see my boyfriend's reaction

Y/N was home alone, comfortable silence filling every corner as she waited for Matt to return from the street. He had gone out to get a specific sweet that she had been asking for for days, and the only place where they sold it didn't deliver.

Sitting comfortably on the grey couch in the living room, the girl was immersed in TikTok videos when a new couple trend appeared on her For You Page, catching her attention; Pretending to be asleep to see my boyfriend's reaction.

Y/N didn't think twice before making the decision to join the cycle of famous couples replicating the trend, quickly leaving TikTok, and opening the location app she shared with Matt. Watching his icon move across the colorful map, she calculated that she still had a few minutes before he arrived, rising from the couch seconds later, running down the small hallway that led to their room.

First, she took the plush, gray bedspreads off the bed, folding it and leaving it on Matt's gaming chair. The soft light from the already turned on lamp created a calm and welcoming atmosphere, perfect for what she had in mind.

She then adjusted her phone on the nightstand on her side of the bed, ensuring the camera was pointed directly at the mattress and the space Matt would enter, propping it against the lamp and organizing the minimal decorations that was always above the furniture around the device in a way that it disguised its existence there.

Checking the app again, she saw that Matt was just a few blocks away. Y/N hurried to lay down, adjusting herself comfortably but naturally.

She turned slightly to her back, rescuing Matt's pillow and hugging it to her chest, not stopping herself from lightly exhaling the natural scent of her boyfriend's male shampoo and cologne that permeated into the fabric, closing her eyes and regulating her breathing to make it seem like she was actually sleeping.

A few minutes later, she finally heard Matt's footsteps echoing across the floor, going from quieter to louder, indicating that he was getting closer to the room. She kept her eyes closed, trying to contain a wide smile as her heart beat fastned.

Matt's footsteps approached the door, the sound of it opening echoing after, the familiar sound of the paper bag he was carrying filling Y/N's ears.

"Babe, I found the one that you wanted, and guess what? They had just made it!" Matt started talking as soon as he entered the space, his voice excited and loud, before noticing the silence in the room.

The boy looked up, his eyes running around before noticing his girlfriend lying on their shared bed, lowering his voice when he noticed her apparently sleeping figure, his expression softening immediately, a small smile settling on his lips.

He closed the door behind him with a soft click, walking with steps of a feather towards the bed, the sound of his sock-covered feet tapping against the wooden floor gently echoing through the four walls.

His busy hand placed the bag with the sweet on the nightstand beside his side before he approached the edge of the bed, admiration written all over his face as he looked at Y/N.

He bent his knees slightly, curving his upper body over the mattress and bringing his face closer to Y/N's head, using his left hand to support his own weight, just watching her sleep for a few seconds, a tender smile on her face.

Matt then lowered his head so that his face was close to hers, sealing his lips over her forehead and head repeatedly, but very lightly and slowly, without the intention of waking her up.

"You're so beautiful when you sleep, you know that?" He whispered, his voice filled with affection, stroking the side of her face lightly with the tip of his nose before reaching out with his right hand, gently brushing away the loose strands of hair with his fingertips, taking them away from her eyes, being careful. His touch was light, almost like a gentle breeze.

Matt looked around, noticing the phone on Y/N's nightstand, but didn't suspect anything thanks to the low brightness of the screen. He just smiled, enjoying the moment, taking note of how the surroundings seemed as calm as ever.

Taking the corner of the duvet that was at the foot of the bed, he gently pulled it over his girlfriend, making sure she was comfortable and warm, petting the thick fabric lightly, molding it to his girl's body.

Then he got up again, reaching his hands to his bedside table, taking the bag with the sweet he had brought between his fingers. It was an angel cake with strawberry filling and whipped cream, Y/N's favorite.

The boy took the box with the cake out of the bag, being careful not to make any loud sounds, leaving the brown paper bag on the wood surface before walking towards Y/N's bedside table slowly, leaving the frame of the phone's front camera for a few seconds, placing the small white cardboard box above it.

"Hope you like it." The brunette murmured again, more to himself than to her.

Matt then returned to his side of the bed, resting his right hand on the mattress and taking off his socks before finally laying down next to her, being careful not to make too much noise or sudden movements.

After snuggling as best he could under the duvet, he turned on his side, bringing the front of his body closer to the back of Y/N's one, wrapping an arm around her waist slowly, gently pulling her closer, his hand automatically finding its way under the oversized t-shirt that covered Y/N's upper body down to her thighs, snaking his hand across the soft skin of his girl's stomach and finding home beneath her right breast, just as he did every day, not seeming to notice the shiver that ran through her body, closing his eyes.

Y/N couldn't help but relax her body even more under her boyfriend's gentle touch, snuggling closer, feeling a deep peace settle in her chest, momentarily forgetting that she was even recording something.

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3. Trying the spray trend on my boyfriend

Y/N was in the bathroom she shared with Matt, her hands working on resting her phone on the marble sink in a way that it wouldn't be obvious that she was recording, the screen with low brightness already open on the TikTok app. She made sure the frontal camera was well positioned, capturing the perfect angle from the bathroom door to the area where she would be standing.

Then, Y/N bent down slightly and opened the cabinet under the sink, her right hand retrieving a spray deodorant she had recently purchased, taking off the cap and setting it aside. With everything ready, the girl turned to her cell again, pressing the record button with her thumb.

Y/N smiled playfully at the camera before turning away from the device and extending her right hand, opening the bathroom door.

"Matt!" The low, muffled sound of Matt's voice shouting back echoed down the hallway leading to the bathroom. "Babe, can you come here for a minute?"

She waited, listening to her boyfriend's footsteps approaching. His figure quickly appeared in front of the already open door, a confused look on his face.

"What's wrong, babe? Do you need help with something?"

"I bought this new deodorant that says it's unscented, but I think it has a slight lavender scent. Can you smell it and tell me what you think?" Y/N asked, her tone sounding naive, holding the spray deodorant at the height she knew would be ideal for him to reach it, and pointing the hole where the product exited upwards.

"Sure." Matt nodded, still a little confused, but willing to help. He entered the bathroom completely and approached Y/N, tilting his head closer to the area where his girlfriend was holding the spray.

Y/N pressed the button on the top of the deodorant, creating a white cloud that slowly rose. Matt leaned even closer to smell the scent, a look of genuine concentration written across his face, and at that exact moment Y/N moved quickly, closing the distance between their faces and pressing her lips softly against his.

The kiss was quick and surprising, and she could feel Matt's slight shiver of surprise, a sound of shock escaping his throat.

When she pulled away, Matt's eyes were wide, his eyelids blinking rapidly as his brain tried to assimilate what had happened, his cheeks slowly turning into a bright red hue, a small smile appearing on the corner of his lips.

"What?" A loud laugh escaped Y/N's mouth as she watched his reaction, noticing his shy expression.

"You're a little devil." Matt shook his head comically. His tongue acted on its own as it escaped his mouth, passing his lips carefully, the taste of mint flooding his palate. "Is that mint?"

"Maybe." Y/N replied with the ghost of a smile, vaguely remembering how she had applied the Space Camp mind lip balm a few minutes earlier.

"Can I have another taste of it?"

"Matt!"

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4. Using my scary dog ​​privilege to walk alone at night

It was a quiet, cool evening as Y/N and Matt were taking a walk after a nice dinner at a home-cooked Italian restaurant close to their home.

Y/N's eyes swept the deserted streets in front of her, quickly looking back over her shoulder, taking note of Matt a few steps behind her body, vaguely remembering a TikTok she had watched earlier that day, the environment around them reminding her a lot of the one in the video.

With that, she decided to record one, too.

And how she was when she was beautiful

The girl was now holding her phone in her right hand, her screen with TikTok already open in the recording area staring back at her, the sound of the Babooshka song melody playing at a low volume from her speakers.

Her half-closed eyes were fixed on the front camera, which recorded her face contorted into a small smirk, her hair moving around her face as if it was planned, a consequence of the light wind that surrounded her and her measured steps, which never stopped.

She signed the letter

Y/N slightly raised her hand that was holding her cell so that the camera now captured the view from behind her back.

All yours

The video captured the image of Matt following in her footsteps, his body completely covered in black clothing, making a perfect contrast with the yellow night lights coming from the tall poles above their heads.

His posture was erect and his head remained high, his arms crossed so that his biceps were visible against the thin fabric of his black shirt and a serious expression resting on his face - as usual -, his eyes fixed straight ahead, as if he was on alert of everything, accompanied by his furrowed eyebrows, giving an impression of anger to anyone who saw him from afar.

Y/N, watching the image through the tilted phone screen that was still recording her boyfriend, felt a shiver run down her spine; a small, satisfied smile blooming on her face.

Matt was definitely a scary Doberman by her side.

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @luvr4miya @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @junnniiieee07 @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @ksskianshd @soimightlikeoldmen69 @ldr-sl0t @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @ecliphttlunar @soso-scarlettolivia @bitchydragonparadise @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @patscorner @strnilolo @bernardsbendystraws @mattsneezing @poetatorturadaa @meg-sturniolo @orangeypepsi @jnkvivi @chrisactualwife @fratbrochrisgf @elordilover @somegirlfromasgard @hpyjw @annamcdonalds67

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[jade-green-butterfly]

~Johnalthea💚🌌🌟💘'At All Costs'~

More Johnalthea goodness I was excited to share with you all but this time, in the form of a beautifully breathtaking three-page comic, done by none other than the lovely and sweet @jaguardorado16~✨💓 This masterpiece of a commission was heavily inspired by the demo version of Wish's 'At All Costs' and this amazing fan storyboard/animatic as seen here 🌟 Although the movie is mostly reviewed as mediocre itself (despite the hidden references, secrets and easter eggs to other Disney classics) this song I really enjoy listening to~😌To me, it really gives off John Dory x Amalthea vibes (hence it being their love song list💕) it really fits them~💚💘 You cannot imagine how truly over the moon I am to have this wonderfully romantic and memorable moment between John and Ama brought magically to life~🪄✨🥹I am absolutely love, love, LOVING every single part and page to the stars and heavens above -LITERALLY~!!😍💖🥰🌌🥰💖😍 Every time I look at them this way - dancing and singing amongst the stars together, the song always plays in my head, it's absolutely perfect...EEEEEEE~!!🤩🌟💝🌟🤩And it's great to see Broppy witnessing the beautiful moment too~💙🩷😉

Thank-you ever so, soooo much in a million, my dear JD!!🫂💞😊💞🫂You have done true justice, captured Johnalthea ever so magnificently here in your amazing style~!👏🏻😁💝I am also very happy you see them as a super beautiful and charming couple, just like I do, along with Coossy~!😚💗

Bless you, my dear~🫶🏻😇🪽 It was a real pleasure to commission you and keep up the awesome work in all you do!✌🏻😘💕xoxo.

*~Reblogs are also deeply appreciated as well, so please do reblog as well as like! Thank-you kindly!~*

Comic Commission (c) @jaguardorado16~✨ Space Trolls (c) @x-elyssa-x~💜 Amalthea (c) @jade-green-butterfly (Me~!) John Dory (c) DreamWorks Trolls/DreamWorks Animation

'At All Costs' -Demo Version- (sung by Chris Pine & Ariana DeBose) (c) Disney's Wish

[chrisgetsmewetter]

Mile high club

Pairing: Bratty!Black!fem x Dom!chris

Summary: you and chris are in a private plane section together, what’s gonna happen when everyone on the plane is sleeping and it’s just you two?

Warnings: Dirty talk, Overstimulation, sex obvi, oral, p in v, pet names (mama, ma, baby)

word count: 5.6k

authors note: i hope u guys like this one😝 i had a fun time writing it and i think y’all will like it toooo. enjoy you lil freaky frogs

you and Chris have been together for over a year, which is crazy because of how much commitment issues he said he had.

you’ve gone public recently and most people have given you a ton of loves so now your youtube channel of 7.3mil has went up to 9mil.

because of this you and the triplets had the idea to go on a combined tour which sold out immediately. now you guys are in the airport going to the next city.

“okay ma’am step here” the security guard gets the metal detector and goes down my body slowly. then you look at chris nervously as they get down to my boobs

“BEEP BEEP BEEP!!” chris bursts out laughing and can’t even stand up straight so he leans on matt who chuckles but hides it

“um ma’am..” the security guard looks at me awkwardly

“oh sorry i have piercings..” the security guard widens his eyes and nods then continues scanning my body.

you notice chris staring at your ass as you impatiently wait for the security guard to be done

just when he finishes scanning the triplets you push chris by his arm “chris why’d you laugh at me” you pout as he laughed even harder.

“passengers on private flight 2834 to Chicago start boarding now” you and nick start jumping up and down excited to get on the plane “i can’t believe we got a private planeee i’m so excitedddd”

“I CALL SHARING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND” chris yells. you slap his arm for being so loud since it’s nighttime.

nick rolls his eyes and groans already walking towards the plane then matt grabs your small suitcase that chris nor you couldn’t carry

he looks at nick and frowns jokingly “so u don’t wanna sit with me nick” matt says in his baby voice

“no actually. i want to sit by my best friend but chris’ crusty bitchass won’t let me, i know it”

you see chris stick his tongue out at nick while smacking your ass “chris stop acting like a child” you say

“your ass just looks so good in those shorts ma i can’t help it” chris whispers in your ear and you can’t help to smile but also low key squeeze your thighs together

*

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- heyy bae how’s the flighttt?

little troll😻🧌- hii madii the pilot said we just took off and aren’t expected any turbulence, so me and chris are abt to watch a movie

little troll😻🧌- nick n matt are already sleep even tho we jus got on😔🤦🏾‍♀️

Madi w that fattyyy- i wish i could’ve cameee, what time is it where u are??

little troll😻🧌- it’s 11:25 at night girl we’re still in LA😭

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- oh..

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- wait. so u and chris in a private plane at night with evb sleep😧

little troll😻🧌- yes..🌚

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- y’all r abt to join the mile high club😰

little troll😻🧌- no.. we’re not madi😡

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- yea okay..

read 11:28

*

“what movie mama” chris takes your phone and throws it on the other side of him

“ooo let’s watch adventures in babysitting” you start to get excited and pull the blanket over yourself

“newer or older?” chris says smirking already putting on the older one

“noo the newer one is better why are we watching the old one”

“because we’re not gonna watch the movie” chris turns the volume up a little and takes his shirt off

“chris not in the plane !!” you whisper yell then look to see if anybody might’ve woke up

he takes advantage of you not paying attention and slowly slips your shorts off

“my god chris calm down” u see him slide under the blanket and pull your panties off

“we won’t have a lot of time to do this on tour so let’s take advantage of it.“ he looks up at you with low eyes “can i?”

as soon as you nod your head he slowly puts his long finger in your pussy.

“fuck mama ur so wet for me” he twists his finger and spits on your pussy and starts slurping it

“fuck chris oh my god” you whisper yell then chris slaps his hand over your mouth “we can’t do this on a plane !!” you squirm

“be quiet or i’m gonna stop” chris sternly looks at you and continues doing the fingering/eating combo.

he starts licking it and fingering you at an unbelievable pace then as he’s doing that chris licks up from your stomach then stops at your lips to kiss you

he starts to suck on your sweet spot right under your ear and then he feels your breathing slowly speed up and he fingers you even faster

your confused on how he’s doing it this fast but you enjoy it

“chris i’m gonna cum” you say as you feel your high coming up “yea baby cum for me” right as he said that you cum hard right on his fingers

then without giving you time to recover chris pulls his sweats taking his boxers off with them and strokes his dick and pushes it in your pussy without any hesitation

“fuck~ chris wait a sec- oh my god” you try to push his arms away but he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head

“you thought you were going a slut and wear those shorts then walk in front of me the whole day huh mama?”

you moan when you hear this, remembering that u indeed did intend to tease chris when you put them on

he smirks as he pounds into you not making as much noise as one would think “are you gonna be a good girl and give me words?”

you shake your head knowing exactly what you’re doing and what’s gonna happen. chris bites his lip and nods “well i guess i’m gonna have to treat you like the slut you are”

“turn around” his eyes are darker then ever so you comply. chris lays down, put props himself up and forcefully grabs your hair and shoved his dick down your throat

you started to lick his tip then spit on his dick making it easier to get in your mouth. you took his full length but gagged a bit.

you hear chris moan a bit as you felt his cock hit the back of your throat.

you loved every second of seeing his groan and shake because you usually have to force his submissive side to come out.

"Fuck I'm going to cum mama" chris said as he grabbed your hair. you felt his dick twitch a bit and his cum shot into the back of your throat as you swallowed it all

“fuck baby you’re such a good girl” chris wipes some saliva off of your lips and kisses you “you want me to get you some water?”

“yes please” you nod and chris helps you slide your shorts and t-shirt on.

—

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- y’all are nasty i just know it

little troll😻🧌- uhh🌚

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- disgusting🤦🏻‍♀️

[riririnnnn]

Can we talk about him?

Oh god this sweet springchild deserves so much more love than what Fandom gives him.

It's only been, I guess, a month of me joining Tumblr, so I can't say what you all think here, but as far as I've seen in other places, I got to say that he is hated/trolled for no reason at all.

Yuki would've been a green flag, scratch that, he would've been the greenest forest if he were a real person.

I understand that

THIS

is one of the first manga panels we got of him, and yeah, I agree that he feels like that one annoying teacher's pet in our classes, but considering the environment of BLLK and the fact that they all literally have their soccer career in line, I don't think so that he did anything wrong. Besides, he didn't try to put anyone down, he is only asking for a reason.

Then we have this panel:

It seems annoying again, but considering his backstory, both the above panels start to make a lot of sense.

To be honest, even without his backstory, the above panel was justifiable since Noa himself said that he judges by number and if Yuki has a better number data then obvi-fucking-ously he has the right to ask such a question.

Also, why we don't talk more about his backstory?

Do you all understand how devastating it is to lose a dream all because of a situation or a circumstance that is completely beyond your control? Imagine working hard for something only to lose it all just because of something that you did literally nothing to deserve.

Further, he had it easy as a model you know. In a country where the average male height is 5'7'', his 6'0^½'' height is surely a great advantage, yet he decided to fight for his dream. How cool is that!

Also, sometimes, I think that if Isagi were not to be the protagonist, then how bitch-y everyone would've considered him.

Like,

WHAT THE HELL, MY BOY!?

I understand that he didn't know about his medical condition but still!?

In their argument in the changing room, I do think that both of them were right in their own way: Blue Lock was literally made for strikers, and, at least according to BLLK ideal, what type of striker passes to someone else!? And seeing things from Isagi's perspective, he did the right thing!

And I also think that Chris was a big bitch for blocking Yuki's goal like that and top of that, also calling it/him pathetic.

Why is he posing like he just solved the global food crisis? Like, what the fuck, my man? That boy hasn't even completed his teenage years, HAUL YOUR OLD WRINKLY ASS OUTTA THERE!

And after that Isagi passes him a goal too and yada yada, but Yuki acknowledged it right away. He also came to apologise and accepted his mistakes.

Just look, look, LOOK!

How sweet he looks. Like a pathetic wet cat. Oh lord! I want to protect him.

And do not dare to come at me by saying, "IsAgi ofFeReD hiM a pLaN bUt wHeN hE aSSisTeD hiM yUki acCePTEd iT."

Like bro, first of all, shut up. Second of all, imagine being in the soccer field and someone passes you the ball, what are you going to do? Run the other direction or something? Brah, Blue Lock taught the boys to be egoistical not stupid.

Just stop hating him.

.

.

.

One time when I was thinking about Yukimiya's headcanons, I was like, "He might actually be blind one day, so I think he is learning sign language."

Then after a long pause I was like

...oh

[gamecoffcat]

The moon looks beautiful doesn’t it?

Late night walks with jjk men

-> Gojo, Geto, Nanami

Satoru Gojo:

It was late at night maybe around 4 am. Satoru and you were trolling around after a party. “You’re not drunk are you?” He asked you. What only made you smile. “No I’m not just a little tipsy” you chuckled arm wrapped around his shoulder for balance. You two walked towards the hotel room since you were in Bali because they wanted to talk to Satoru personally, you honestly had no idea what it was about. The party you two went to was your idea.

“You look really good tonight” he told you, looking at the skirt you were wearing it looked very nice. You gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you sweetie” she smiled. They sat down at a random bench. He looked into the sky and then back at you. “The sky is so beautiful” you told him. He smiled. “The moon looks beautiful doesn’t it?” He asked. Your smile grew a little bigger. “Yes it does” you knew exactly what it meant. He was looking back at the sky. You looked at him now. “I love you too” you said softly. He turned to you his cheeks flushed red. This was the first time you were saying ‘I love you’. “I uh-“ you interrupted his sentence. “I know Toru I know” you smiled giving him a small kiss. “I love you more” he whispered. While you two kissed. You playfully rolled your eyes “do you always have to win?” What made him only chuckle. “Nah I’d win”

Suguru Geto:

(School au you two are young like 20-21 studying idk)

It was late, Suguru and you were sitting on the bed smoking a joint. “You know what would be nice?” You asked him. “What?” He replied. “A nice walk outside. A long walk nice music a joint my love on my side” you answered. He looked at you. “You’re so beautiful and yes let’s do that!” He said pushing a bit of hair behind your ear. You were already blushing because of the compliment he just gave you.

You dressed quickly. He put his pullover over while you put a jacked on. You guys started your usual round. It was a warm night since you were also walking around in shorts. “You wanna go towards the beach? I know you love it there” he laid his arm around you pulling you closer. “Uhh that’s a great idea” you smiled while smoking a little. The beach wasn’t far so it was quick march.

When you two got there you put the shoes away and walked barefoot in the soft sand. You two found a nice place Sitting near together the joint long done. Hands intertwined. Your head on his shoulder. Water softly touching your feed what was really refreshing. The wind blowing. It was quiet, only wicked game by Chris Issak softly playing in the background . Just enjoying each others company looking at the star filled sky. “The moon looks beautiful doesn’t it?” He asked. She looked at him. He only gave you a smile. “You know what I mean right?” he added. Your eyes sparkled. “I love you too” she answered still buffed that he would say it like this. He was a little romantic after all. You kissed him. “You’re so sweet” you whispered while kissing him. His hands wandering to your hips giving them a light squeeze. When suddenly a big wave came and you both got wet. “Shitttttt” suguru whispered. “Awh man let’s go home” you said. He nodded. You two were laughing. In this moment both of you realize that they found the one.

Nanami Kento:

Oh how beautiful Malaysia was. Especially with you on his side. Nanami felt endless happiness. You two walked around the last bits of the sun kissing your skin. He couldn’t take his eyes of you. You two walked around until the night came around. The mood looked big he couldn’t take his eyes off. His gaze shifting to you. You were even more beautiful than the moon ever could be. “God you’re pretty” he whispered. You looked at him. “What?” You asked confused. “You are beautiful” nanami repeated spelling it out for her. She smiled softly. “Thanks” he grabbed her hand and started to walk towards the beach. The water was still warm. He looked at the sky and then at her. “The moon looks beautiful too night doesn’t it?” He asked her. She looked at him. “Yes it does” she smiled. “But you’re even more beautiful” nanami kissed your cheek. “Ken you’re too cute” you returned the kiss. “I love you too” she smiled at him.

He only chuckled. He got his dream fulfilled.

-sorry for grammar mistakes. Englisch is not my first language!!

[kaythefloppa]

Wild Kratts - Bumblezzzz - Thoughts

This episode airs on TV tomorrow, but was released online in the PBS Kids Video App. So if you're planning on watching it on television, or unable to access the videp app, you may want to scroll off for spoilers

I was aware some bees come in blue (hi Martin). But GREEN???? The fuck?

The epitome of "waking up and choosing chaos."

I envy Chris's organized manner.

Bros went from Salamander Streaming to a Salamander Snack ☠️

This raises - so many questions and thoughts.

Apparently there is a "Villain Weekly" magazine that is sold in copies? I mean there's a Finding Your Inner Villain Seminar so I guess that tracks but... just how many people are stanning, supporting, and funding these villains who, I should specify, NEARLY FLATTENED THE AMAZON. You can't just... walk backwards from that without a serious career-and-possibly-life-ending PR disaster.

(Actually I just remembered that Elon Musk exists and has his share of supporters despite how awful he is to the point where it borders on cartoonish, which I guess kinda tracks here)

2. The magazine has a picture of Donita on it, which implies that it's about her. Why would Donita have a COPY of a magazine featuring her? Why would she have to buy it. Do I not know enough about advertisements in the magazine industry?

3. Why would Donita trust Zach with anything? ANYTHING? He regularly gets his inventory mangled by the enemy every week as a result of his own ineptitude and often steals whenever said inventory is too shitty for his own good. She really shouldn't be surprised that he forgot to give it back.

4. Donita canonically lives in New Hampshire. Zach lives in Massachusets. That is an hour and a half away just by driving. Even if Zach isn't by his mansion, still he could've just flown his plane over to Donita's mansion. Or if he was too lazy, he could've hired his bots to do so. Inversely, Donita could've just come and have the manequins collect.

5. DONITA THREATENING ZACH WITH MOB VIOLENCE BY SICCING DABIO ON HIM IF HE DOESN'T RETURN THE BOOK WHAT THE HELL???

I feel like I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, this is the same person who quite possibly forced Martin to undress and into new clothing whilst he was in suspended animation in her debut appearance (and also sicced Dabio onto him when he resisted), nearly drove lemurs to extinction all over a dress in the Season 3 finale, attempted to skin salamanders alive for a fire-proof suit in S5, and oh yeah, was instrumental in the attempted destruction of the Amazon Rainforest. But still, this was so out of nowhere, and the fact that Dabio smiles; (and remember, according to Season 3, his ancestors have been working with the Donatas for generations, so this shit was a family business) This one scene, if all others haven't, single handedly manage to show Donita and Dabio as arguably the most brutal, nasty, and vile villains. It's just one scene, but I see these guys in a pretty different light now.

Also, I mentioned this before. If she's willing to do all that previous stuff mentioned above for her own gain, if she's willing to do this to Zach over a petty book loan, what the heck is she gonna do to Paisley when she finds out about her betrayal? What's she gonna do to Rex if he eventually redeems himself?

As someone who has made it my legal obligation to analyze the timeline in Wild Kratts, I will definitely say that this episode takes place on June 20th, the first day of the summer season. That means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I don't even think I should explain how terrible of an idea this is.

This is plain biology and a fact of life, but since they missed the opportunity to make a Bee Movie reference, I will take this as such as compensation.

Because I didn't say it earlier, I'll say it now: Bumblebees are so. Fucking. Cute.

AAAAAH!!!!!!!!!

Not enough screengrabs to convey this but the brothers are obviously trolling Zach here and I love it.

For all of you angst writers, here's some new ammo. Because I'm fairly certain that this can unoequivically KILL a human being if bumblebees were as big as us. In fact between this episode, and the next episode, Chimpanzee and Me, I'm convinced that the only reason Zach's robots are henchmen is so that the brothers can get away with being as violent as fuck towards them in so many beautifully creative ways without any actual bloodshed.

The fuck even is this episode 😭😭

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The humor, once again, is amazing. It didn't get in as much laughs as the previous one, but still.

The Bumblebee Suit. It's such a breath of fresh air from the more uncanny looking Creature Power Suits in the modern seasons

Bumblebees are indeed highly endangered. It's good that this episode brings light on that and how important it is to protect them

CONS:

This entire episode's plot goes by... way too damn fast. Seeing the bros immediately get themselves into the jam, and then also immediately seeing Zach, and even the brothers quickly explaining bee features to Aviva. It all feels like this episode is just on fast-forward, even though it's a regular-length episode. It really could've been paced better.

Zach's motivations are stupid as ever, and he is at his peak bitchiness here. But again, the fact that such cartoonishly bullshit evil like this happens in the real world (which WK cleverly delivers a giant middle finger towards), and the fact that Zach gets his ass kicked for his genuinely awful plan mitigates a LOT of damage.

Final Ranking: 7/10. Still pretty good. I've been anticipating a Bumblebee episode for the past year after seeing leaks of a magazine featuring the Creature Power Suit, and it did not disappoint.

[theresattrpgforthat]

hello! i was wondering if theres any ttrpgs set in/inspired by Terry Pratchett's Discworld? thanks :)

THEME: Discworld

I love the Discworld books and I'm very glad you asked this question. I have three resources for you!

A One In A Million Chance At Adventure, by Jocher Symbolic Systems.

This is a game where you play the roles of, often unwilling, sometimes zealous, pawns in the cosmic octarine coloured narrative. Your character is not necessarily a "hero" per se, instead one could possibly see it as being important to the story. Characters like yourself do have a knack for not dying as often as a common mortal (or undead if that has been your unfortune).

With this follows that you'll naturally have a higher chance of actually, possibly, doing some heroic deeds, just by sheer mathematical logic. Unless, of course, you are the type of adventurer who'd prefer a cup of hot tea and soft slippers and a reliable day job.

That does severely reduce the odds of let's say beheading a mythical beast of ill repute or befriending the immodest wood nymphs of Howondaland*.

*if your day job happens to be for example a tax collector this is not true, this and similar careers have shown to increase the risk of leaving the disc rather early.  ** only rumoured, no one who has gone looking for them has ever returned.

This is a free, fan-made d10-based game written in the style of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld novels, footnotes and all. The characters you build are expected to be flawed in some way - they have vices that can cause problems for them and plenty of skills (or spells) to help them get out of trouble.

A One in A Million Chance At Adventure has plenty of supplements to support the game, including an introductory adventure: The Murder of Dominick Kolchak, and a character supplement: The A-M Professions Character Build Guides.

Discworld Roleplaying Game, by Steve Jackson Games.

There's a lot of unusual stuff on the Disc, but don't worry about getting lost – game author Phil Masters has crafted a roadmap to Pratchett-inspired storytelling.

Visit settings like the most dubious city in the multiverse, Ankh-Morpork. Intervene in the cultural interactions of trolls and dwarves (but watch out for flying axes). Campaign for goblin rights. Flee from an angry Swamp Dragon (two feet of mindless fury and high-explosive digestion). Even find out why the second-greatest lover on the Disc needs a stepladder.

And remember, the world is round. And also flat.

This is the official roleplaying game published by Steve Jackson Games, the creators of Munchkin and GURPS - which means that this game also uses the GURPS system. Characters are pretty in-depth and require some time to put together - and that means the the core rulebook is a pretty hefty read. If you like big games with heavy modularity and a lot to chew on, maybe this game is for you!

If you want to try the game out and need a little help, there’s a GURPS Character sheet app available to help you put characters together, and Chris Normand is an avid enthusiast with many videos providing advice on how to get a grip on the system.

The Kleptomancer’s Crypt, by Max Kāmmerer.

The Kleptomancer’s Crypt is an adventure for Troika!, but is easily adapted to other systems. It mostly consists of tables to help you generate a variable adventure. Improvisation and interpretation by the GM required. 

A client hired you to break into the Kleptomancer’s Crypt and so you did. Now you need to get out of the place. The Kleptomancer is a government official tasked with redistributing the wealth by stealing from the rich and keeping what they stole for themselves. Okay, that last part isn’t in the official job description. The Crypt is filled with all kinds of strange things and rooms and people, really. You might for example encounter pipe smoking sloths, boardgame playing plants, ever expanding spheres or the Kleptomancer’s apprentice. The place is dangerous, so you prepared by cutting a deal with death, preventing you from dying while you are in the Crypt.

To be clear, this is not a full game. It is simply an adventure for one.

The eclectic tone of Troika fits Discworld so well that I’m not at all surprised that there is an adventure made for it. If you have experience with Troika, or even with other OSR games, you might want to check this one out.

[milligramspoison]

Welcome to the FOB edition of this list! I originally did this with MCR :)

North America

LIVE DEBUT OF G.I.N.A.S.F.S. (Chicago)

CHRIS LIVESTREAMED THE SHOW

Live debut Heaven, lowa!!

Live debut of Baby Annihilation!

A cover of Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne!

The Take Over, the Breaks Over for the first time since 2017!

GIANT DOG HEAD BEHIND PATRICK

Someone wore a Mikey Fuckin' Way shirt to the show (he's already somehow made his way into this list and it's only night one)

Someone else wore a Hey Chris shirt

The Pink Seashell was the intro!

They opened up the tour with LFTOS (it's called Otherside on the official setlist!)

GINASFS being labeled GOLF on the setlist

William Beckett and a handkerchief

They played Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey!

They played Fake Out for the first time with Joe!

New merch tour merch!

CLANDESTINE MERCH

Security/ushers going hard during Centuries!

Pete straight up disappearing off the face of the earth before Crazy Train

Setlist got leaked (very reminiscent of one of MCR hometown shows lol)

Not tour content but Pavlove has randomly appeared on Spotify but is currently unplayable (Maryland Heights)

Patrick was spotted watching the openers!

A paper had to be made for presumably security to not mistake the guys as a concert goer (fucking hilarious)

Andy was also spotted watching the openers!

THEY'RE PLAYING RAY'S ICONIC SPOKEN WORD PART OF I'M NOT OKAY BETWEEN SETS

Each city is getting its own special shirt!! (This was revealed during the Missouri show!)

Setlistfm user mommymilkers live updating the setlist for us (icon)

LIVE DEBUT OF WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

GIN JOINTS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2008

JOE SINGING DURING CHICAGO

No one could tell if they either played Gin Joints or Tell That Mick at first

Setlistfm saying they covered Super Bass by Nicki Minaj (it was a troll but a funny one)

Patrick saying he wants to talk to the dog during This Ain't a Scene

Pete petting the dog

Pete giving his pick to a young fan <3

Stardust Funhouse! (Bonner Springs)

Fans with vip packages get their own magic 8 ball! (This has been happening since Chicago but wasn't revealed until night 3 of the tour!)

Patrick and Andy were watching Alkaline Trio together :)

PATRICK IS WEARING THE FEDORA

TOUR DEBUT OF HUM HALLELUJAH

I’M LIKE A LAWYER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

SOPHOMORE SLUMP ALSO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

More trolls saying they covered ME! by Taylor Swift

“Fall Out Boy is my favorite fucking band”

New (I think) BMTH merch! (Woodlands)

BMTH joining the tour! (Been waiting for them since the announcement lol)

FOB SETLIST GOT LEAKED AGAIN

BMTH fans exploding over the fact that Kingslayer wasn't on BMTH's setlist

FOB fans being sad over the fact Pete isn't wearing his skirt (I think someone lied about this so understandable tbh)

THEY COVERED SOMEBODY TO LOVE BY QUEEN

THEY ALSO COVERED TAKE ON ME BY A-HA

Someone on setlistfm trolling everyone by saying they performed Golden for the first time since 2007

Someone else also trolling on setlistfm saying they covered Princess Diana by Ice Spice

Same troll mentioned above saying Ice Spice was there

More trolls saying they did WAP by Cardi B

LIVE DEBUT OF KINTSUGI KID

MORE trolls saying they did I Write Sins and Viva Las Vengeance by P!ATD (the trolls were really annoying tonight tbh)

What a surprise more trolls saying they covered Dear John by Taylor Swift

“I DRESS THIS WAY BC IF THE CROWD IS FEELING HOT AND MISERABLE THEN IM GONNA BE HOT AND MISERABLE WITH YOU GUYS WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER”

Patrick getting a friendship bracelet and having some banter with Pete <3

The lovely @andoutofharm leaking the setlist for us that says Kansas City even though they're in Dallas (Dallas is proving to be chaos) (wasn’t actually tonight’s setlist but funny it was there)

Joe is hiding his book for fans similar to how MCR hid drumsticks for fans!

Clandestine merch returns in Dallas!

Oli giving FOB a brief shoutout before MANTRA!

PETE IS IN THE SKIRT

Speech about support staff!

Speech about TTTYG’s anniversary!!!

WHAT A CATCH DONNIE FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

THE (AFTER) LIFE OF THE PARTY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

Pete walked around in the audience!

“Trying to keep it cool in Texas”

Patrick’s speech about imposter syndrome <3 (whole thing is very sweet and nice)

BMTH not performing in Phoenix :( (sad times)

PETE IS IN A SKIRT AGAIN

Patrick is wearing the black button up again but tucked in!

TAKE OVER AND HUM HALLELUJAH IN THE SAME NIGHT

Pete talking about prioritizing love <3

SPOTLIGHT BY PATRICK WAS FUCKING PLAYED HOLY SHIT

ALSO PATRICK’S FIRST TIME PLAYING SPOTLIGHT SINCE 2011

SPACE CAMP FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

They played one extra song tonight! (They usually play 27 songs a night)

Played the instrumental version of Stardust at the end of the show!

Patrick’s speech before Spotlight <3

Pete got Grimaced but Patrick lives on in peace lol

MIKEY FUCKIN WAY IS AT THE FUCKING SHOW (Chula Vista)

A COVER OF NOTHING COMPARES 2 U BY PRINCE

(COFFEE’S FOR CLOSERS) FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2009

Patrick and Pete didn’t do the waltz :(

MIKEY PLAYED FUCKING SATURDAY WITH THEM

MIKEY WITH PETE WHILE PLAYING SATURDAY

MIKEY RUNNING TO THE STAGE TO PLAY

Mikey posting Andy on his story <3333

PATRICK AND MIKEY HUGGING <33333333

Mikey with the entire band <3333333

I nearly spread an entire rumor that Mikey posted sim versions of FOB on his story (oops)

Pete doing this weird/messed up bow thing towards Patrick

“Love you dudes!” on Mikey’s story <33333

“My two dads” on Gabe’s story (never change Gabe)

Patrick stopping the show to make sure a fan is okay <3

Kristin reposting Mikey playing with FOB on her story <3

The pit during BMTH’s set

Oli is missing a fucking shoe

I predicted Mikey performing with FOB :3

Mr. Blue Sky cover! (LA night one)

GOLDEN FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

G.I.N.A.S.F.S. IS MAGIC 8 BALL ONCE AGAIN

AMERICA’S SUITEHEARTS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2009

TWO MAGIC 8 BALL SONGS AS YOU CAN SEE ABOVE

They played 29 songs tonight!! (They usually about 27 songs a night)

PETE AND PATRICK HARMONIZED DURING SRAR

Pete spotting his trainer in the crowd (literally the equivalent of Gerard from MCR talking about their mailman during a show)

Patrick’s speech before medley <3

“New car smell stadium”

Demi Lovato was at the show and performed with Royal & the Serpent, one of the openers!

Pete being shipped to the audience (Amazon same day delivery)

America’s Suitehearts being labeled as ASS on the official setlist

Oli in a cult leader tank top (literally just says cult leader)

The band had a secret show earlier on in the day! (LA night two)

Technically tour stuff, but Pete possibly hinting at an MCR x FOB tour for 2024!

Someone on setlistfm deleting the entire setlist

LIVE DEBUT OF I’VE GOT ALL THIS RINGING IN MY EARS

A COVER OF EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE

SOPHOMORE SLUMP WITH WILLIAM BECKETT OF THE ACADEMY IS

THE (AFTER) LIFE OF THE PARTY ONCE AGAIN

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF BANG THE DOLDRUMS

Pete’s speech <3

Pete has a new jacket!

Saturday with Adam T. Siska!

“It looks like there's a lot of you, it's a little intimidating” ~ Patrick (Mountain View)

What A Catch Donnie once again!

A cover of Alison by Elvis Costello!

THE PATRON SAINT OF LIARS AND FAKES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

Pete and Andy briefly turning the show into comedy hour

Pete stood on the piano (thanks piano)

Random guy checking his emails during BMTH’s set (lowkey pretty funny, shoutout to this iconic guy)

Not tour stuff but Electric Touch by Taylor Swift featuring FOB came out today! (July 7th) (West Valley City)

Patrick telling everyone to sing along to Grand Theft Autumn

Cover of Hold The Line by Toto!

THE KIDS AREN’T ALRIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2018

Someone having a Frerard license plate (honestly super funny)

Patrick saving a bug

Pete broke up a fight (pls don’t fight at concerts that’s not fucking cool) (Greenwood Village)

THEY DID FUCKING BANG THE DOLDRUMS AGAIN AND IT WASN’T EVEN MAGIC 8 BALL TIME

ACOUSTIC GUITAR FOR MEDLEY

PATRICK PLAYED AN ORIGINAL SONG BY HIS DAD <33333

Patrick’s dad is at the show! <3

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

“The party tonight is awesome” ~ Pete

“The last thing you want to do is go and brag tomorrow that you got into a fight at a fucking Fall Out Boy show. And it wasn’t even with Bring Me The Horizon, y’know what I mean?” ~ also Pete

The song Patrick played from his dad is called Goin’ North!

There’s bubbles during Disloyal!! (This has been happening the entire tour but I haven’t seen anyone bring it up until the Colorado show!)

Cover of Peace Love and Understanding by Elvis Costello & The Attractions! (Rodgers)

I SLEPT WITH SOMEONE IN FOB FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2015

A speech about Stardust!

Patrick during Saturday <3

“I’m gonna go play Super Mario Brothers”

Pete chatted with a kid during the show <3

Storm delay just before FOB’s set, thankfully everyone was safe!! (Somerset)

Oli has lost his fucking shoe once again

Drunk guy took his pants off and had security chase him (hope they caught him)

THEY SOUNDCHECKED BANG THE DOLDRUMS

The venue is apparently in a cornfield

Only half the stage got set up :(

The dog is named Blitz (yes it took me till Wisconsin to learn it’s fucking name)

THE EYES ALSO FUCKING GLOW

“People ask us what it was like at old fob shows and the answer is that it was kind of like this, we would just play until the police kicked us out” ~ Pete lol

LIVE DEBUT OF FAME < INFAMY CONGRATS WISCONSIN YOU FUCKING DESERVE IT

No medley tonight (storm delay and strict curfew)

Also the shortest show of the tour so far! They played only 16 songs when they usually play about 27-28 songs (again storm delay and strict curfew)

One of the openers wore a cheesehead apparently!

BMTH’s drumhead says Steve for some reason??

Oli hugged a fan <3

OLI RAN THROUGH THE FUCKING MERCH STANDS

Double rainbow!! (Cincinnati)

LIVE DEBUT OF FAVORITE RECORD

Patrick being proud of himself after performing Favorite Record <3

Joe got a new tattoo entitled Z-Bone for his youngest daughter Zayda! <3

Troll on setlistfm saying they covered Harder, Better, Faster Stronger by Daft Punk lol (Noblesville)

Same troll saying they covered Mr. Brightside by The Killers and I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas

Same troll saying they covered Peaches by Jack Black

Patrick skipping around <3

WHERE DID THE PARTY GO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014

Patrick randomly became a wizard during the show and made Pete disappear :3

Pete being a gamer boy on his ig and playing Fortnite <3

The same troll from the other night saying they covered Daft Punk (again) and fucking Nintendo (Cuyahoga Falls)

“I have like, 3 brain cells left” ~ Pete

MEDLEY HAD I’M LIKE LAWYER

Cover of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen!

LIVE DEBUT OF 27

Pete smiling and waving to his two youngest kiddos, Saint and Marvel during Dance Dance <3

A fan also gave Meagan and the kiddos friendship bracelets! (Revealed in the tags in the link above!)

PETE’S IN A SKIRT (Bristow)

NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER ACCOUSTIC

TOUR DEBUT OF SHE’S MY WINONA

SHE’S MY WINONA FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2009

I FUCKING PREDICTED SHE’S MY WINONA

New merch for the magic 8 ball! (Charlotte)

Someone the day before the show put an entire fake setlist on setlistfm lol

A Jehovah’s Witness is at the show (slay ig)

And apparently another person randomly preached at the show??

Someone is also barking in the pit??

Lean On Me by Bill Withers cover!!

DEAD ON ARRIVAL FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

S’mores after the show is over on Pete’s story

Oli dedicated Can You Feel My Heart to FOB!

POSSIBLE 7 MINUTES SOUNDCHECK?? (Virginia Beach)

7 MINUTES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

PATRICK PLAYED THE DRUMS

“Sing it with me, honey!” Patrick to Blitz during This Ain’t a Scene

In typical Florida fashion…severe thunderstorm warning to start off the night (West Palm Beach)

Karaoke by the merch stand!

Setlist got leaked!

8 ball hint is gator bites…

Andy is back!!!

PETE’S IN THE SKIRT

THEY COVERED DANCING QUEEN BY ABBA

TELL MICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2013

ACCIDENTALLY PREDICTED TELL MICK IN MY DMS WITH @frankierosbackbends

DEAD ON ARRIVAL IN PLACE OF CHICAGO TONIGHT (Tampa)

MISS MISSING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2015

ALSO THE TOUR DEBUT OF MISS MISSING YOU

Facebook completely simping for Pete on instagram

Oli dedicated Can You Feel My Heart to FOB again!!

PATRICK MAY HAVE SANG FRICTION IN HIS JEANS (Atlanta)

Played Nothing Compares 2 U in honor of Sinead O’Conner as she passed away </3

LIVE DEBUT OF FROM NOW ON WE ARE ENEMIES

FOB (kinda) ARE IN THE FUCKING BARBIE MOVIE

Pete revealed in the RATS podcast that Saint (his youngest son) drew the backdrop for Blitz! (Clarkston)

William Beckett is at the show for whatever reason??

He also performed Chicago with FOB!

Trolls on setlistfm saying they covered Blood by MCR

Pete falling into the box during Crazy Train

DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I THINK I AM FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

Cover of Coffee Mug by Descendents as a tribute to Milo Auckerman

The crowd booing people who were fighting (Toronto)

Pete also mocking the people that were fighting

THEY CUT LAST OF THE REAL ONES

LIVE DEBUT OF WEST COAST SMOKER

I PREDICTED WEST COAST SMOKER

THE RETURN OF DOUBLE 8 BALL

Oli taking someone’s drink and BMTH posting the person’s reaction on their story (op got a good laugh out of it, I saw the video from their pov!)

Pete playing tennis at the venue just before tonight’s show! (Forest Hills)

PETE IS AIRDROPPING THE NEW GAMES WE PLAY SONG TO FANS

JUST ONE YESTERDAY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2014 FOR MEDLEY

STEREO HEARTS AND CUPIDS CHOKEHOLD FOR MEDLEY AS WELL

TRAVIE FUCKING MCCOY PERFORMED WITH THEM

COVER OF ENTER SANDMAN BY METALLICA

LIVE DEBUT OF I AM MY OWN MUSE

DOUBLE FUCKING 8 BALL AGAIN

TRAVIE SAID GYM CLASS HEROES IS COMING BACK

Oli down in the pit saying “don’t tell Patrick” for whatever reason lol (Boston)

Joe posting a bunch before tonight’s show!!

I’m Shipping up to Boston cover by the Dropkick Murphys!

Cover of Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond!

LIVE DEBUT OF WAMS DURING MEDLEY

XO FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2007

THIRD DOUBLE 8 BALL IN A ROW

“I’m standing in your spotlight now” Patrick to Pete during riff banter!!

“I like it, I like it” Pete to Patrick also during riff banter!!

GET BUSY FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2006 FOR MEDLEY (Darien)

Pete saying Patrick has a “teddy bear vibe but he gets the job done”

Patrick also blushed when Pete said that

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF YOU’RE CRASHING

FOURTH DOUBLE 8 BALL IN A ROW

DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’ AND ENTER SANDMAN IN THE SAME NIGHT

Pete saying Patrick reminds him of Josh Allen, the Buffalo Bills quarterback

Patrick also being incredibly confused by the bullet point above lol

Oli dedicated DiE4u to Snooki (Holmdel)

Pete’s bass very briefly caught on fire after The Phoenix…Pete is VERY THANKFULLY okay (this apparently happened at another recent show too)

Dead on Arrival was dedicated to RATS aka Royal & the Serpent!!

“We’re very happy you're part of our family” Pete to someone at their very first FOB show!!! <3

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF I’VE GOT A DARK ALLEY FOR MEDLEY

A mini stage was set up on the lawn for Pete for Dance, Dance!

LIVE DEBUT OF BOB DYLAN

FIFTH DOUBLE 8 BALL IN A ROW

Games We Play played bass for Pete during Saturday!!

Bob Dylan and I Am My Own Muse being labeled as Willie Nelson and Super Smash Bros on the setlist

They randomly played the national anthem at the show?? (It’s apparently a venue thing??)

Gabe Saporta trying to make it to the last show of the NA tour but LAX keeps delaying his flight :( (Camden)

Pete posting food onto his story that is presumably on Patrick’s piano to practice for medley lol

DEAD ON ARRIVAL WITH RATS!!!

Rats requested Dead On Arrival a bunch of times!!

“Awww :(” Patrick after Pete said that this is the last night of the us leg of the tour

JET PACK BLUES FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2018 FOR MEDLEY

Jet Pack Blues into I’ve Got a Dark Alley into Golden for medley </3

LIVE FUCKING DEBUT OF FUCKING PAVLOVE

TRIPLE FUCKING 8 BALL

Somehow fucking predicted a triple 8 ball a couple of days ago 0.0

manicpixiefinalgirl on tiktok started a Joe chant in the pit!!

Hello if you’ve made it this far!! Ty for taking the time to check this out and go through it all!

This will be back for FOB’s Japan shows later this month and for their shows in Europe in October and November, so stay tuned for that!

I had a fantastic time following the North American tour with everyone, can’t wait to do it again with you all soon! :)

[the5thcellar]

Hi, I recently stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! While I’m very sorry for all the troll hate you’ve received, I like the sassy way you’re handling them. I’m trying to find the humor in why so many people are pressed and feel like they need to defend something that you haven’t even denied is real. And just because you have a different opinion, they cannot handle it. Reading your responses, and reading the responses of other people with whom I share similar sentiments, has made me laugh and feel better over the last week. I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I also appreciate your reminder that “no matter how good a man seems, trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment!” 

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about Luke’s social media lately? I’ve read some points about how messy his social media presence has been handled (or mishandled) over the past year+ and how it did not help with the way everything played out. Also, I feel like he’s either turned on notifs for Nic because he’s been very diligent about liking all her posts, or maybe, he’s finally gotten a team to handle it. I just feel like everyone is in crisis comms mode, trying to wrangle back control. Just genuinely curious because it’s what I’ve been pondering over for the last day or two. Thank you in advance for your time if you answer my ask!

I'm so sorry this took me awhile - I started replying it in the morning on the way to work but decided I needed to gather my thoughts more.

To the first part: I completely empathise with how the entire situation has just been so "much" - it really has. It seems so silly, but somehow, whether or not two people I DON'T KNOW are in love or not in love, are best friends or are not best friends - can affect so much of my mental and emotional wellbeing.

I know I'm being parasocial (it seems to be the internet buzzword of the moment). But let's be clear: almost EVERYONE online - everyone who has written in to my ask box, who has commented, who has liked - everyone on twitter and tiktok who has talked about this - they're all just as parasocial. Because we're all assuming and casting aspersions on people we do not personally know. No one online who engages in discourse has the moral or ethical high ground. We are ALL in the gutter together (that said - I believe the gutter has many levels 😂).

IN ANY CASE - I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is not some atypical affliction. It is normal to feel awful that something you believed in and something you felt happy about is untrue. It is normal to look for other people who feel the same because misery is always better with company. It is normal to feel disappointed even as you remind yourself that men have been useless since the dawn of time.

The best counter to all these sad, awful feelings is to remember that life is a cycle. That life is complex. And although I'm saying this for the millionth time - that life has many, many grey areas.

As a kid I thought Zanessa was everything. Then they broke up, and she got together with Austin whom I hated. For years I seethed at the very mention of them. And after almost a decade... they also broke up. And not even 2 years after that, she's married and with child.

For a long time I also thought Brangelina was everything - you can't imagine my devastation when they divorced and I found out Brad is a complete dirtbag. But at the same time that I felt this horrible upset - I'm sure TONS of other people were feeling vindicated because they were fans of Jen A.

There are just SO MANY other stories like that. I mean come on - JLo and Ben Affleck. On again, off again, finally made it to the altar ... and now they're headed for divorce.

Chris and Mariska - both married to other people for 27 bloody years (or maybe longer) - and still making it very clear they are each others soulmates - and NOT platonic ones btw.

Tony and Kerry - WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? Perhaps the only pair on the internet that has people rooting for cheating and affairs 😂

Lessons: don't let a long term boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Don't let a husband stop you from finding your soulmate. Don't let your soulmate stop you from engaging in a late, great love affair.

All crazy, contradicting statements distilled from all the above real life stories.

It makes one thing very clear to me: I can believe what I want to believe about Luke and Nicola. Because no one fucking knows what is in the future. They could get together next month. Next year. When they're in their 70s. No one can tell me SHIT about what I believe - not when life is clearly full of incredible twists and turns.

So fuck it. Fuck the haters and the antis and the naysayers. I can ship them till the day I die and no one can tell me any different. Because how could they? They literally canNOT !

To the second part: this is an easy answer and there's no need to think too much into it. Luke's social media has simply undergone an extensive renovation by his agents and team in anticipation of him becoming a big star (whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen). All highly personal, "non-aesthetic" posts of his have been archived - his posts are all related to work and his coworkers. He has many posts with Nicola because he / his team knows those get the most engagement - and the more engagement he gets, the better the IG algorithm works in his favour to push his OTHER, non-Nicola or Bridgerton related posts to people's feeds. I don't think anyone is in crisis comms mode tbh. Maybe Nicola panicked a bit after she posted that tiktok that everyone took wildly out of context. But beyond that I don't think the wider audience gives af who he's dating - it seems like his personal life is very big news only because we keep searching about it and talking about it and so it feels like EVERYONE is. But if you step outside the online bridgerton fandom bubble ..... no one cares. There is a HEFTY portion of netflix viewers who watch bridgerton without EVER going online to read about the actors.

Long story short I think Nicola and Luke will become even MORE conscious about what they post - but I don't believe there was a crisis in the true sense of the word. And although Luke's team clearly handles his socials he obviously has access to it as well. Btw - all celebs have someone who handles their socials I'm sure Nic does too, just that she's also on her own account a lot. I don't know if Luke has his notifs on for Nicola's posts but even if he does I don't believe his consistent likes mean anything much. I mean...he also diligently likes all of Antonia's posts 😂

Social media isn't much of an indicator of honesty to me ... as someone whose work heavily involves it, everything is curated to a disgusting degree.

What I put more stock in is what we can see - and what we can see of them when they DON'T think about being seen - which is to say, all the unconscious, natural moments between Nicola and Luke - the vibe around them both, and the easy way they breathe and exist together.

That's what makes me such a big believer in their bond.

[texasjen13]

Hi Jen! Love your blog.

I need to tell you about the hypocrisy that has been going around in this fandom. I hope you will publish my ask because fans need to know how they are being manipulated.

I need to tell you about soultruths whose previous name was mysticalcarat. I know anons on your blog have speculated she is from Alba's side. She is but there something else you need to know. This blog has been created by acricleofstars. She has the same writing style and same opinion about tarot readings done for celebs. Circle has done readings for Chris in the past but now she has changed her opinion. The reason why she has created another blog to attack tarot readers is she can't do it openly as she and her group interacts with sideways for getting info. Soultruths threatens about legal action and so does Circle. Another similar opinion shared by both of them. Soultruths has reblogged posts from Circle. It is definitely her.

Another thing CaptRegina and her group has started working for ALba's team. They are cleaning her image of being a troll to his fans. They started doing it after VanityFair Carpet debut. Everyone can check Mid's blog and see for themselves what they did yesterday. They have also stopped defending Chris. Mid keeps posting asks calling Chris a p*do. Do you see what is happening?

Tlq and team real have been an apologist for her racism and CaptRegina and her group are now pushing she is not a troll and is living her life. Alba needs a clean image in HW to land roles. Bad reputation doesn't get anyone anything. CaptRegina wand her group is about to flip very soon like Maddy and Ginger. I request everyone to be careful and not believe their lies.

CaptRegina and her group needed money. Everyone remembers their scam and how they tried to earn money in the fandom. They have accepted to work for Alba just like Tlq and team real.

Thanks for sharing this I for one would never flip sides on Chris and Alba is a prickly little troll 🧌 who is out for his money 💰 💰💰💰. I call little gold digger even though she has her own money, she still is a gold digger, there are two types of gold digger’s one they don’t have a job and use a man for his money and two they have a job but don’t spend their money but their man’s money Instead. I’ve seen both

[dearheart42regenerated]

MOTORCITY SEASON 2 MASTERPOST

once upon a time, over 10 years ago, just a few months after the announcement that Motorcity was officially canceled...the creators of the show took pity on their heartbroken fandom and gave us several glimpses of what season 2 might have been like. they saw how much we loved Motorcity and gave us every scrap of info they could at the time, so that we could use those scraps to imagine our own personal "Season 2" - whether it continue on in our fics, our fanart, or simply our own heads.

I'm making this masterpost so that none of this material will be lost or forgotten, and so any fanartists/fic writers still hanging around today can use it for inspiration. if there's any related material I've missed, PLEASE feel free to add it in a reblog or let me know in my inbox! I want this list to be as complete as we can make it! :)

--

The Season 2 That Never Was: A Comprehensive List

Motorcity Season 2 Rough Intro "Scratch audio by our very own Chris P." (x)

-> backup download

--

Season 2 Writer's Wall posted (and later deleted) by @chrisprynoski on twitter, and shared on tumblr by @peopleofmotorcity, these pictures of the writer's wall showed us a "rough sketch" of what could have been, and gave our imaginations SO many fun theories and possibilities to play with. every blurry sticky note was a treasure to us. :')

-> original tumblr posts: x x x x x x x x x x x x -> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Chris Prynoski's Fan Interview + Tumblr Q&A's this whole interview on youtube is a delight to listen to, and Part 2 in particular has some interesting bits about season 2. (skip to 17:10 for some good stuff about Texas and Chuck's backgrounds!)

-> Part 1 -> Part 2

Chris P also answered several juicy season 2 questions on tumblr. sadly his blog is deactivated now, but you can still read through all of them at the links below!

-> image masterpost -> google drive folder

--

Capri Chilton - Mike Chilton's long lost big sister! I can't remember where or when it was first revealed that they were considering giving Mike a secret older sister, and I haven't been able to track down the origin. that being said, when it was revealed, the fandom loved the idea so much that they begged the creators to make it canon. Chris P busted out the "magical canon stick", gave us this delightful concept sketch, and "Capri Chilton" was born!

--

The Motorcity Series Bible "To help you all understand what it is you are reading, this is the material that Titmouse used to help pitch Motorcity, and it was also a tool for writers to use when coming up with episodes to help understand who the characters were before there was any other reference. That being said, this was one of the very first documents about Motorcity, so many things have changed or evolved from these early concepts." (x)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 -> image backups -> PDF download

EDIT: the COMPLETE series bible has now been leaked by Lost Media Busters on X (Twitter) and helpfully shared by @waksworldrebooted!!

--> here is a google drive download for the full PDF file!

--

Motorcity Series Bible - Redacted Version (Pages 1, 2, 17, 19, 20) funfact: @peopleofmotorcity was the official? unofficial? tumblr blog for Motorcity, and it was run by a guy named Mac - an animator for the show who loved to tease and joke around with the fandom. before revealing the actual first 13 pages of the series bible, he posted this censored version as a prank - a mix of truth and trolling! it's up to the fandom to decide which is which. ;)

-> original tumblr posts: 1 2 17 19 20 -> image backups -> PDF download

--

MTV Era Motorcity Masterpost a fantastic collection of glimpses into the original pilot/pitch trailer that would evolve into the show we know and love today, found and compiled by @waksworldrebooted. "In 2000, Chris Prynoski pitched a cartoon called Motorcity. He made a card and a website promoting the show, which wouldn't see the light of day until the Walt Disney Company got their hands on it."

--> tumblr masterpost (including wayback links to the old website) --> twitter sources from Chris P himself :)

--

Motorcity Unaired Pilot - 2009 Disney Version Originally aired during Comic Con 2012, the pilot was recorded and then posted on YouTube by Allison Simmons in July of 2012, later being privatized in 2022. The video was re uploaded onto VKVideo 22 days after its original posting to YouTube and is still currently available to watch online. (x)

--> backup download --> also viewable here!

--

if I find more material, I will add it here! :)

[vintagerpg]

Tunnels & Trolls is the second RPG (give or take), and like D&D, it was born out of a legendary dungeon built by the game’s creator as a sort of testing ground: Ken St. Andre’s Gristlegrim. Like Castle Greyhawk and Blackmoor, Gristlegrim has never been released to the public and, according to St. Andre, the original no longer exists. That makes Bear Peters’ Dungeon of the Bear the oldest extant T&T dungeon. Originally released in three parts in 1979, this 1982 edition collects them all and puts them under Michael Stackpole’s Castle Ward.

Before I go on, I should note that unlike most of the T&T adventures I own, this one is for a party of players, not a solo, and it is organized as you might expect, with keyed maps and room descriptions.

Castle Ward is a ruined keep meant to prevent people from accessing the dungeon, but was sacked by the dungeon inhabitants (cheeky). A number of demons guard the entrance now, armed with riddles to keep adventurers out. These are in the vein of “I want a sieve that holds water” and I can’t tell if I love them or think they’re obnoxious. Maybe both at the same time!

Once past the gatekeepers, we have a funhouse dungeon that is atypical of the era in that it maintains a level of amusing charm throughout. It never gets old, which is quite the accomplishment. Some highlights include a room that rains copper coins, a titanic ballista (crewed by orcs and giants and aimed at the party), a mostly submerged giant statue that chases the party if they try to steal its ring (which commands nearly all the monsters in the dungeon, if any are still alive at that point) and an unusual number of piranha. There are lots of other animals as well, but, I might have missed it, of course, but I am not sure I read about a bear…

Regardless of its ursine inhabitants, this dungeon is a classic of the earliest form! Also love the Chris Carlson cover art and the lots of early Liz Danforth illustrations that populate the interior.

[majaloveschris]

Is he though? I'm not saying he is perfect, but most people in Hollywood are much more problematic.///

I think this just proved the point of the anon. Yes, Chris is human as we all are, but any time people say anything negative about him, it’s always well there are worse men.

We’re talking about Chris Evans though, not other men, if he was this stand up guy he would NOT be in this situation.

People have and continue to make excuses for him to the point people believe this isn’t him and he’s being forced in this mess, but my question is…..what if this IS him?

His past gfs haven’t been the best either, this current one being the worst due to obvious trolling and racist besties to the point we have to question who he really is to have thought she was the one or publicly have the world believing that’s his wife.

I know many believe due to many things this is fake, but what if it’s not. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Fake or not, he signed off on being associated to her as HUSBAND AND WIFE!

Maybe people simply refuse to accept that the stand up guy many thought really isn’t that stand up.

No mature adult man is going to be in a real or fake relationship with a 26 year old, simple as that. Chris has more control than people realize.

Fandoms get closer and closer to the line of cults because no one can see that these people sell images, matter of fact many will read this ask and try to take one thing and deflect from the bigger issue.

There were people saying Chris doesn’t like women like her because she posted her shower videos and has allegedly been doing videos for pay, yet people forget this man was coddled for posting his own dick pic.

People are going to do as they please, but just be mindful that sometimes your love and infatuation for a person can lead one to becoming very blind.

Chris is going to remain doing crap like this because he makes terrible choices and those choices get enabled or written off with excuses.

I said people, not men. Nobody said he is the best person in Hollywood or that he is the best man in the world. I just said that he doesn't seem a bad person considering what other people do in Hollywood. 

Do we know him? No. He might not be in this because of business but because he loves her. That's a possibility as well. We think it might be fake based on his previous relationships, his previous behavior, his behavior with Alba, and because of the weirdness of this whole relationship. We don't know anything for sure. We just theorize here. 

I do agree that it's dangerous if we put our heads in the sand and act like he is this perfect human being, but the same goes about thinking he is the worst person in this world. I think calling him out is okay, and yeah, he shouldn't be allowed to do whatever he wants, but the line is very thin between healthy and unhealthy fan behavior. Fans shouldn't feel like they can do and say whatever they want either. 

I also think it's really important to not have tunnel vision when it comes to him, because he is still someone we don't fully know. But at the same time, accusing him of crimes isn't right either. Again, the line is very thin. 

But I wouldn't say he doesn't feel the displeasure of the fans when it comes to this situation. Losing followers and fans, getting called out, and getting bullied (which I still don't agree with) shows how unpleasent fans are with his choices. But yeah, there will be people who will always try to find excuses, and they do the same thing with Alba too at this point, but that's how it is. You can go and call those people out too, because we "excusing" him when we say this is PR, and they "excusing" him saying Alba and her fans aren't even that bad, and they must've changed aren't that far from each other. There's always been and will be people who keep excusing someone's behaviors and actions, and he won't be the first counterexample. 

[sopranoentravesti]

Not directly inspired by anything except for *gestures vaguely at the surrounding shitshow* but I do think more people could stand to read this article by Dara Horn about Roald Dahl from 2021.

I’ve included text of the article as well, under the cut. And to head off the whining of those who will perceive this as an attack on their favorite children’s book writer or whatever: read the damn article. This isn’t about “cancelling,” someone for being bigoted (hell, if I boycotted books or plays because the author was virulently antisemitic, there would be precious little to read). It is about understanding a really dark part of human psychology that is at play in conspiratorial thinking— which of course is at the heart of antisemitism— that Roald Dahl capitalized on. Developing a more mature sense of morality, rather than indulging in the bloody politics of blame and vengeance is crucial.

There’s nothing quite like the realization that what you thought was an empowering work of art is actually a 200-page exercise in trolling. It took me more than 30 years to figure out that I’d been trolled by Roald Dahl.

Dahl, who dominated juvenile publishing when I was growing up, revealed himself late in his career to be a vicious antisemite, who thought “powerful American Jewish bankers” ran the US government. He told the New Statesman that “there is a trait in the Jewish character that does provoke animosity, maybe it’s a kind of lack of generosity towards non-Jews. I mean, there is always a reason why anti-anything crops up anywhere; even a stinker like Hitler didn’t just pick on them for no reason.” This was in 1983, the year in which Dahl published The Witches, his 13th novel for children.

Apparently, Dahl had been an antisemite his entire life, but it didn’t prevent him from being essentially canonized after his death in 1990, and it didn’t much affect my thoughts about him either. I had adored his books as a child, and I’ve never taken much interest in the now-obligatory grunt work of connecting artists’ personalities (often horrible) with their works (sometimes great). And although Dahl was not only an antisemite but also (and even more damningly these days) a misogynist and a racist, he hasn’t been canceled yet. Who doesn’t love Roald Dahl, or at least his stories?

Hollywood certainly does. The most recent Dahl adaptation, which began streaming on HBO Max this Halloween season, is called Roald Dahl’s The Witches (note the value of the authorial brand), directed and written by Robert Zemeckis, with the help of two younger Hollywood powerhouses, Kenya Barris and Guillermo del Toro. It stars the high wattage Octavia Spencer, perhaps best known for her Oscar-winning role in The Help, and A-lister Anne Hathaway, not to mention the voice of the comedian Chris Rock. In fact, this is the second big-budget version of The Witches, the first having been a 1990 film starring Anjelica Huston.

But The Witches was on my mind long before I’d heard about the new movie. It was one of my favorite books when I was a child, one I read repeatedly and pressed into the hands of friends. I was eager to share it with my own children and hesitated only because, as a child, I’d also found it somewhat terrifying. But when I read it aloud to my eight-year-old son last month, I discovered that it was far more terrifying than I remembered, and for entirely different reasons.

The key to Dahl’s success as a children’s author lay in how he pitted children against adults, making children into a beloved underdog class whose moral victory lay in vanquishing their powerful exploiters. His heroes are blameless boys and girls tortured by diabolically abusive adults, whom they destroy in outrageous revenge sequences of the sort even the most fortunate child occasionally fantasizes about. In James and the Giant Peach, for instance, the orphaned James, enslaved by his villainous aunts, squashes them to death with the titular fruit. In Matilda, a kindergartener uses magic powers to terrorize a school principal who routinely locks children in a nail-studded closet. In Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the starving Charlie, living in the sort of poverty that would make Oliver Twist qualify as a one-percenter, inherits a fantastical candy factory—but only after a book-length morality play in which wealthy children and their entitled parents are absurdly tortured and maimed. In George’s Marvelous Medicine, a boy forced to care for his heartless grandmother concocts a potion that makes her shrink and disappear.

In short, Dahl is like a modern Charles Dickens, except instead of social justice and spiritual redemption, Dahl’s books offer only revenge. Kids, like all emotionally and morally stunted people, eat this stuff up. Dahl tapped into something primal and hideous in the human psyche: the desire of disenfranchised people to feel righteous precisely by demonizing others. As a kid, I bought this too. The sheer sadism of it went right over my head until I shared these books with my children and saw how I’d been punked. And The Witches was the worst.

The Witches is about a boy who is orphaned in the opening chapter—pity points are always crucial for Dahl—and then adopted by his loving Grandmamma, a kindly old lady who fills him in on a little-known scourge. Witches, she explains, are real. They are demons disguised as women, and their sole purpose is to entrap and destroy innocent children through their diabolical magic. One unfortunate boy, for example, went off with a witch and returned unharmed—but later hardened into a stone statue. After vanishing with a witch, a girl reappeared only in a landscape painting in her family’s home, changing positions whenever the family wasn’t watching and even aging as years passed. (That one haunted me for decades.) Other children are “disappeared” in ways worthy of an Argentine junta. Kids better watch out.

One summer on a beach vacation with Grandmamma, our hero wanders into a hotel conference room occupied by a group calling itself the “Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.” In fact, it is a coven of witches discussing their latest plan, a potion designed to turn children into mice. They discover the boy and immediately mouse-ify him, but now that our talking mouse hero knows where they keep their potions, he and Grandmamma hatch a clever plot to administer them to the witches themselves. Hijinks ensue, evil is vanquished, and although the narrator remains a mouse, he doesn’t mind. He and Grandmamma embark on a crusade to take out the witches of the world, and he never has to go to school again.

The book chimed perfectly with the stories of “stranger danger” that other 1980s children and I were constantly fed in state-mandated school curricula, but it made that threat delightfully preposterous—and manageable since all one had to do was believe that certain adults were actually demons with recognizable tells. It was a highly rewarding fantasy. After all, it was clear to me, as it was to every young reader, that even adults who didn’t molest children in shopping malls were nonetheless conspiring against us, making us do dehumanizing tasks like making beds and taking tests. The book was empowering. With its frisson of secret knowledge, it made us feel righteous and invincible. Unfortunately, revisiting it as an adult revealed that the book was cribbed from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion—and helped me understand, for perhaps the first time, antisemitism’s seductive appeal.

“Witches,” Grandmamma explains, “are not actually women at all . . . They are demons in human shape.” How do you spot one? Well, since they’re demons, they have toeless hooves instead of feet and claws instead of fingers, disguised by fashionable shoes and gloves. You can’t spot those, but you can spot their “larger nose-holes than ordinary people” (the better to smell you with, my dear). But the real tell, of course, is that witches are bald—which is why a witch always wears “a first-class wig,” which she puts “straight on her naked scalp.”

As I read this aloud to my enthralled son, it was hard to miss how much these witches resembled women in, say, Stamford Hill (the London version of Borough Park). It was also hard to miss how much they resembled caricatures from Der Stürmer or a medieval blood libel. Was I overinterpreting?

You be the judge: “Wherever you find people, you find witches,” Grandmamma tells her innocent grandchild. “There is a Secret Society of Witches in every country. . . . An English witch, for example, will know all the other witches in England.” If this was too subtle, Grandmamma clarifies: “Once a year, the witches of each separate country hold their own secret meeting. They all get together in one place to receive a lecture from The Grand High Witch of All the World.” The boy’s question about this fun fact is, at this point, predictable: “Is she rich?”

Grandmamma replies, “She’s rolling. Simply rolling in money. Rumour has it that there is a machine in her headquarters which is exactly like the machine the government uses to print the bank-notes you and I use.” The boy then asks, as any normal child would, “What about foreign money?” You already know the answer: “Those machines can make Chinese money if you want them to.” Here, the boy turns skeptical: “If nobody has ever seen the Grand High Witch, how can you be so sure she exists?” Grandmamma counters, “Nobody has seen the Devil, but we know he exists.” All of this isn’t merely true, we are told, but “the gospel truth” (the italics are Dahl’s). After all, Grandmamma “went to church every morning of the week and she said grace before every meal, and somebody who did that would never tell lies.” As Grandmamma warns her dear boy, “All you can do is cross your heart and pray to heaven.”

Alas, crossing his heart and praying to heaven doesn’t protect our hero from his encounter with the Elders of Witchdom, at which point Dahl drops all pretense. The Grand High Witch, we learn, “had a peculiar way of speaking. There was some sort of a foreign accent there, something harsh and guttural, and she seemed to have trouble pronouncing the letter w. As well as that, she did something funny with the letter r. She would roll it round and round her mouth.” The Grand High Witch, in her Yiddish accent, explains to her secret society how they will lure England’s children by buying high-end sweet shops and poisoning the candy, since “Money is not a prrroblem to us vitches as you know very well. I have brrrought with me six trrrunks stuffed full of Inklish bank-notes, all new and crrrisp” (italics mine).

Few children can resist the lure of witches. My son loved the book so much that he wanted to see the movie. Perhaps you are wondering: is the 2020 Hollywood version, whose creators unsurprisingly included plenty of Jews, antisemitic? The short answer is no, or not exactly, but that’s also the wrong question.

Adapting from a source this hideous was never going to be easy or entirely uncontroversial, and the new film has already been slammed for portraying limb differences as evil (instead of the claws mentioned in the book, the film’s witches are depicted with missing fingers). Despite that tone-deaf choice, it’s clear that the filmmakers were aware of the book’s larger problems. To their credit, they knew they had to fix something, and they went big: instead of contemporary England, Roald Dahl’s The Witches takes place in 1968 Alabama, and the protagonist and his grandmother are Black (Octavia Spencer’s Grandmamma is even a voodoo healer). Unlike the 1990 movie, the witches no longer have big noses and are, in fact, racially diverse. At first, this does seem poised to dilute some of the book’s inherent awfulness: when a Black witch attacked the protagonist in an early scene, I had high hopes for a story where “evil” was depicted solely through Marvel Universe methods of pancake makeup and special effects. But that scene proved to be half-hearted tokenism, since the rest of the film focuses almost entirely on, to use the current term, white-presenting witches—and most tellingly, what really distinguishes witches in this film is that they are rich. As we watch a flashback of the lily-white and fabulously dressed Anne Hathaway as the Grand High Witch attacking an impoverished Black child in a 1920s Alabama shantytown, Grandmamma tells us that “witches always prey on the poor.”

This class warfare idea is utterly absent from Dahl’s book, but it perhaps unintentionally provides a trendy update to his rather old-school racial antisemitism: the idea that a secret society of fantastically wealthy “global elites”—often, but not inevitably, Jews—prey on the poor. This means that bigotry against them, rather than being retrograde, is, in fact, a fresh and righteous way of “punching up.” Instead of just protecting innocent children, this new Grandmamma now also shares her truth to defend the downtrodden, like every righteous nutjob tweeting about the Rothschilds or George Soros. In the book, nothing much happens with the Grand High Witch’s counterfeit cash. But here Grandmamma commandeers it at the film’s triumphant end and hands out hundred-dollar bills to the hotel’s exploited Black employees.

If this sounds tedious, it is. Roald Dahl’s The Witches is wretched less because of the book’s wretched premise than because it is a conventionally lousy children’s movie, full of Hollywood pieties (in the climactic scene, Grandmamma actually lectures the Grand High Witch about the Power of Love), canned stereotypes and recycled animation. That doesn’t mean kids won’t love it, of course. As Hollywood knows well, everyone loves a good conspiracy theory—and that’s the problem.

My kids laughed their way through the movie’s animated mice and cookie-cutter triumphs, enjoying everything that conventional children’s stories do best—reinforce their audience’s expectations, vanquish villains, and make powerless people feel superior. Conspiracy theories make for great stories, but in an era when a nontrivial proportion of the American electorate apparently believes in the QAnon conspiracy theory that a secret cabal of satanic pedophiles preys on American children and the country, I couldn’t help feeling that this film was, at the very least, ill-timed.

It is so easy, after all, to believe in a conspiracy, so self-indulgent, so appealing—and, as I now finally understood, so much fun. Watching this mediocre and unremarkable movie left me shockingly ill at ease, precisely because it was so mediocre and unremarkable. My discomfort was compounded by the knowledge that the eight-year-old me would have loved it too, not knowing any better. Few children do. In the elaborate, magical long game of luring innocents into handing over their hearts, it turns out that the Grand High Witch was actually Roald Dahl.