#i also looooove their silent night song

[spacefuneral]

ngl i know nothing about art garfunkel aside from having the best name imaginable and also i had a huge simon and garfunkel phase as a teen

[icallhimjoey]

Here I come with a request after i’ve fallen in love with your writing …. How about something inspired by the song Black Treacle from the arctic monkeys? Like maybe you just moved to London in an apartment and you go up to the roof for a smoke or fresh air one night and … none other than Joe is up there, smoking ?

Again i looooove how you write, it just the perfect thing for us thirty somethings ❤️

okay SO, thank you for this request, it made my brain go SCHLOOMP and it's the first request ive done in a good while so, look what you did! (also sorry if its bad) Wordcount: 3.5K

---

Sticky Skies

Joe knew he was in trouble when he turned down hanging with a friend because it would collide with his balcony moment. Your balcony moment. He realised then, when he stayed home for it and you didn't show that night, that it had become a problem.

It took a while for it to settle within him, because for too long, he'd just wanted to believe he was being totally normal about you. His neighbour. His cute, pretty, witty neighbour that he somehow never seemed to run into outside of the moments you spent on your balconies together.

It started weeks ago. Months, if he was really honest, and he'd grown addicted way too fast. He didn't even count the first few times when you'd just smiled at each other and nothing more but a hey, or a good night, would pass your lips besides the cigarette smoke.

That first time, you'd opened the your door to an empty balcony, and immediately closed your jacket tighter around your body at the feel of the cold air. When you turned to close the door, you jumped a little when you saw your neighbour right next to you on his balcony. The banisters of either balcony might as well not have been there, if you placed two chairs next to the sides, you would practically be sharing a bench. You were close enough to touch just standing there, and so you did, out of politeness, and shook hands as you introduced yourselves.

Your neighbour seemed friendly. He had a kind face, nice hair and... big hands. None of it intimidating. Actually quite the opposite. He wore posh clothes, but, they didn't fit him right, which only made him more approachable.

Amazing. You had a kind neighbour! One that also looked... good. Hot? Good. Definitely good.

You'd only just moved in and still had get to get furniture for out there, so you leant against the cold metal, facing the door to your flat, and saw Joe copy you even though he had chairs, a small bench, a table and even a bike out on his balcony.

It was a little awkward, you didn't really say anything, but you also didn't bury yourself into your phone - neither of you did. You just stood, and smoked silent cigarettes and you stared at your own reflection in the window and would occasionally look up at the black night skies and blow up cigarette smoke into it.

It happened like that a few times, until one evening, you went out and Joe was out there too, and he immediately commented on the new chairs you'd placed outside earlier that day.

"You got chairs!"

You huffed a laugh through your nostrils, smiled and said, "I did!" before you sat down. "They're insanely uncomfortable for the price I paid," you followed in the same chipper upbeat voice, and laughed at yourself.

"They look nice, though, expensive," Joe blew out smoke and gestured behind him at all of his outdoor furniture, "This is all trash,"

You took a better look, nodded and said, "It looks it," which made Joe laugh.

Exchanging pleasantries in the dark, only illuminated by the lights from inside your flats, you smoked cigarettes and got to know each other better. You told Joe you worked in an office as an administrative assistant, very exciting stuff. Joe said he did something similar and then said he was an actor, which made you go, "Oh yea, totally the same thing, wow, we have so much in common," and you'd both laughed.

You knew the amount of rent you paid, so you immediately accused Joe of either being famous or a big fat liar, and he'd just said, "I'm sure you'll figure it out.".

So, famous, you concluded. Definitely famous.

Quick late night cigarettes on your adjoining balconies slowly turned from 5-minute quick before bed smokes to long two-hour conversations every night. You shared cigarettes if one of you ran out, would sometimes even pass the same cig back and forth for a bit, and had moved seats into the corners of your balconies so you essentially sat next to each other and talked through the metal spindles.

Joe told you about the other neighbours in your building, quietly, so none of them heard, and filled you in on who filled the halls with amazing smelling food, who would steal packages if you left them out too long, who had sex the loudest, and who complained about it the most.

You told Joe about why you'd moved into the building, about a relationship ending because your old flatmate shagged him behind your back for weeks.

Joe was shocked, said the same thing happened to him a couple of years ago. You cheersed cigarettes through the spindles, toasted to people being awful, and deemed the building you lived in the perfect spot for the heartbroken.

Right after, you both said you were actually fine, didn't want the other to think you were sad and lonely, because you didn't feel sad or lonely at all. But then neither of you mentioned that these late night cigarette chats were kind of the reason why.

"It really is a nice place, it's just... it's such a trek from the tube," you complained.

"It's a 15 minute walk," Joe chuckled.

"Not with these little legs!" to demonstrate, you took teeny tiny little quick steps around your balcony with straight legs, very obviously overdoing it for the bit.

"Is that how you walk?" Joe laughed and instantly copied you. "How do you still have functioning knees?"

If him shuffling across his balcony like an idiot didn't make you laugh, his facial expression sure did it.

It became a special thing, your balcony moments with Joe. Something you started looking forward to.

On especially cold nights, you'd drag a blanket out, and after about a month of talking, you saw Joe shiver and pushed one end of the blanket through the slats. It was a little awkward, and you both had to curl your legs up onto your seats to make it work, but then, it covered the two of you perfectly. When, after about an hour, Joe went inside to make the both of you some tea that he passed to you over the banisters, you ended up outside for far longer than you'd anticipated.

But Joe was just your neighbour, and you couldn't remember ever running into him outside. You hadn't exchanged numbers, or ever spoke about what time you'd meet again the next day - it was always accidental, sometimes right after dinner, other times just before bed, and you liked how even without setting anything up, you always found each other to end the day together.

Joe was also good looking. And very funny. Which, you know, helped.

When the temperatures softened a little, and spring slowly pushed more time into the evenings, you found yourself sitting outside just to catch the nice sunsets.

Joe caught you outside in your pyjamas, fuzzy socks, hair high up on your head and your face covered in a sheet-mask.

"Pfffff," Joe was immediately laughing at the sight of you as you were using the tips of your fingers to push the edges of the mask back onto your skin to make sure they stuck.

"Who are you and what have you done to my lovely neighbour?!"

"Yea, all right, laugh all you like," you said through narrowed eyes. "I'm going to look amazing after this, all hydrated, so moisturized," you mused and saw Joe quirk an eyebrow as he lit a cigarette. Then you saw his fingers absentmindedly find a dry patch of skin between his brows to rub at, and a smirk grew on your face.

"Hang on," you said and darted inside only to emerge seconds later, two hands unfolding another sticky sheet mask.

"Come here," you said, beckoning Joe closer to the banister with your head, and even though Joe frowned a little, he obliged and stepped closer.

"This is gonna be cold and gooey, but trust me, it'll be so nice after,"

Joe leant forward a little, cigarette held back as he closed his eyes, wholly accepting that you were about to touch his face. "Ooh that feels disgusting," he immediately commented through tight lips. "Don't talk! You'll get it in your mouth!" you said, unable to hold your giggles back.

Your fingertips softly tapped and pressed the wet fabric over every single inch of Joe's face, and Joe forgot to breathe for a moment.

You noticed how long Joe's eyelashes were, and had to be extra careful to make sure they wouldn't get trapped underneath the mask.

"Mmmh, this is like a massage," Joe said after a little while, eyes still closed, now smiling.

It was nice, being so close to Joe, having him be so open to letting you touch him all over. It made you spent way too long applying the sheet, passing your tapping finger tips all over his face twice. Cheekbones, browbones, hairline, jawline, his nose... Joe's face was nice.

You spent the rest of the night both wearing white sheet-masks, Joe trying his best not to get any of the liquid onto his cigarette until it had all dried, and you trying not to giggle every time you looked at him.

The next day, a loud knock echoed throughout your living room after you'd just walked in after work and you opened the balcony door to find Joe leaning over with a bowl of pasta.

"Here," he passed it to you, his face not giving anything away.

"Ooh, what's this?" you accepted immediately and sat down before Joe passed you a fork.

"I made too much and I'm out of town for the next four days, so I hoped I'd get you before you'd had any dinner,"

You were already munching and groaned at how great it tasted. Fuck, Joe was a good cook. This was a very welcome and a skillfully casual way of letting you know Joe wasn't going to be joining you for late night cigarettes for a few days.

"This is so great, I had an awful day but... what the fuck, I can't even remember what happened,"

Joe smiled warmly and sat down with a bowl of his own.

"Talk to me," he then said. "Why was your day so bad?"

"I honestly can't remember," you laughed, obviously joking.

For a moment you ate in silence, and then, you unleashed everything. Talked through all the shitty things. The lack of communication at work. Your new shoes that gave you blisters. The deadlines that were impossible. And Joe just listened. Ate his pasta and encouraged you to take bites in between your rambling. Joe kind of loved it. Felt like he was taking care of you a little. Fed you. Let you get all of your frustrations out. There was something cute about you when you got all worked up. He also didn't mind how you talked with your mouth full of his food. Gross, he knew, but he was weirdly into it. Couldn't explain it if he tried.

When you finished the food and your rant, you passed Joe his bowl back and asked, "Beer?" and Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure," before you both disappeared inside for a second, gathered whatever you needed for a full evening on the balcony together.

This was just what you did now. It was almost like having a flatmate. One that you didn't share your actual flat with, which, with your previous flatmate experience, was actually very nice.

You stayed out until the skies were pitch black, like molasses. You stayed out until you started getting noise complaints from neighbours, because Joe's voice carried, and your laugh was too loud. You stayed out until the temperatures dropped so much, you didn't really want to have your hands outside of your sleeves anymore.

You started noticing it was never Joe who would go inside first. It was always you who went, well, gotta get up early tomorrow.

Joe liked it too much.

None of his friends had a neighbour like he did. Sure, they had people they'd see outside in the hallways or down near the postboxes, and they'd say hi, were polite. Would sometimes run into them in the supermarket and say hi then too. But that wasn't what you and Joe had going. You'd become a very specific kind of friends. Neighbours who knew too much about each other not to at least be considered friends, Joe was sure.

And, okay, so you'd flirt with each other. But what was the big deal? There was always a banister that divided you. A barrier that you hadn't yet crossed, and Joe would wonder, would it still be like this if he did cross that barrier? He'd fantasize of going 'round and ringing your doorbell to spend an evening inside on your sofa, where it'd be warm and cozy. Or he'd dream of inviting you over for dinner instead of having to pass you a bowl of food with a weak excuse that you'd eat outside with metal spindles in between the two of you.

You never talked about dating. About your romantic lives. Joe kind of hoped the reason was that there wasn't anything to talk about. So, cue his surprise when on a Sunday evening, he caught you through the window, from the corner of his eye, on your balcony, with a man. He was just out of view from inside his flat, which was good. Joe didn't need to actually see him to know what kissing looked like.

The lack of stars that night should've warned him.

Surprised at the painful stab in his heart, Joe decided to get out. Head out, to the pub, maybe. See if some of his friends were about. He didn't need to stay inside with you out there, making out with someone that wasn't him.

Shit.

He desperately needed that to be him.

That night he let his friends talk him into confronting you tomorrow. Friends that hadn't understood this bond that Joe had with his neighbour. And then, when other friends asked him to hang out that next day, he said he couldn't, because he had plans.

But then you didn't step out onto your balcony all night, and Joe knew then, this wasn't normal.

Oh man. Joe was in serious trouble.

He imagined this is what having an addiction must feel like, where it starts interfering with your day-to-day life. Where you start saying no to seeing friends because you had secret other things to do by yourself. Like, staying out late stood on your own balcony to maybe hopefully accidentally meet your hot neighbour that you had a big fat crush on. You know, shit like that.

Joe purposefully didn't go outside for a few nights after that. Didn't need to be confronted by your absence, or your presence for that matter. Not if it was going to be you and someone else, again.

But then he had dinner out there in the sunlight with a friend and he realised how stupid he'd been.

He could be out on his balcony all day and all night if he wanted.

This was his spot.

He'd used it for smoking his cigarettes long before you'd moved in next door.

And so when a week later, he'd set up the little bench with pillows, a nice throw blanket and a fat glass of wine, he was all ready for a nice, relaxing time on his balcony by himself when suddenly, your door opened.

You made eye-contact, and for a second, you contemplated going back inside.

"Hey," Joe said when the silence lingered a little too long.

"Hi, sorry. Hi," you immediately apologised for being weird before stepping out fully and fumbling with shaky fingers to light a cigarette.

Joe eyed you carefully, and then asked if you were all right.

"Don't ask, I'll cry," you said, and chuckled humourlessly.

You kind of hoped that Joe would make a joke, would waltz right over everything, make you forget about the guy you thought might be one to stick around for a little while, if not longer, only to ghost you after you'd let him sleep over.

Men were dicks.

You needed Joe to say something dumb, to make you laugh, and then you'd be able to swiftly move on and forget about it forever.

Instead Joe got up and with his cigarette in his mouth, used both his arms to beckon you over to the banister.

You hesitated, and Joe removed his cigarette as he leant his hips against the metal bars. "Come on, in you come," and when you took a small careful step closer, Joe knew you'd be just within reach so he bent at the waist and grabbed at you with both hands, pulling you in for a hug.

It was so stupid, but you tensed under Joe's embrace and patiently waited for it to be over. Hugs between neighbours should only last two, maybe three seconds, right?

"Oh my God, relax!" Joe instructed, rubbing a flat palm strongly over your back, pushing you more into him and you exhaled. Loudly and all exaggerated. It was enough for Joe to pull back, but then he took hold of your arms and ducked down slightly to force eyecontact.

"I've got good wine," Joe then offered, eyebrows scrunched and lips spread into a caring smile.

"Ugh, yes, wine would be great," you let your shoulders slump, and Joe moved his cigarette back into his mouth before he turned to go and get you a glass.

Upon his return he nearly dropped it when he saw what you were about to do.

With one leg already flung over the banisters, you were about to hop up and fling your other leg over as well.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Stop!"

You froze, one leg dangling and Joe quickly set the glass down before you could change your mind and climb over further.

"We're on the 4th floor, are you actually joking?!" Joe's hands found your waist and he held you with strong fingers as he gently pushed you back onto your own balcony. "This is so dangerous,"

The space between your balconies was minimal, but definitely there.

"I just wanted to-" you started, and pointed behind Joe, at his bench that was laid out with nice pillows and soft blankets.

"Walk around, idiot! We have doors!" Joe interrupted, and the loudness of his voice made you flinch a little.

For a second, you and Joe just looked at each other, you now back on your own balcony, but Joe's hands still firmly holding onto your waist.

Joe then sighed, said, "Wait," and stepped back.

"Catch,"

Joe threw one of the pillows over - a risky move, you weren't the best catcher, but this one almost hit your right in the face. Joe then, much more sensibly, handed you more pillows over the banisters and instructed you to place all of them onto your chairs. The blanket followed, and then, the wine glasses.

And like Joe hadn't just told you off for trying to climb from your balcony onto his, Joe gracefully hopped and swung both legs over, landing on both feet like he'd done that a million times before. You were about to argue, let him know how unfair it was for him to not let you climb over and then deciding that jumping over himself was fine, but Joe was already arranging the pillows in your chairs.

You watched Joe move about, then before he sat down with his own glass of wine in hand, he handed you yours and told you to sit as well.

After working with one hand to drape the blanket over the both of you, you kind of looked at Joe a little bewildered.

Okay, so many not all men were dicks.

"So, will you actually cry if I ask you what's the matter?" Joe asked into his wineglass before taking a sip.

"I might," you said truthfully, but tried to dress it up as a joke. It didn't land.

"Will you let me comfort you if you do?"

"I might," you said again, this time much softer, something positive hidden within your voice.

Joe thought back to his friends who'd convinced him to just be honest with you, and he glanced up at the night sky. Black, more like black treacle than tar, with enough stars visible to persuade him to actually go ahead and do it.

He looked at your wineglass, clinked it with his own, sat back and shifted in his seat until he was comfortable.

"So," he smiled warmly, and continued, "What's wrong?"

----

The Taglisted: 

@ghostinthebackofyourhead @dirtyeddietini @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @sadbitchfangirl @thatonefan-girl @paola-carter @figmentofquinn @haylaansmi @thewondernanazombie @munsonmunster @kellysimagines @mybffjoe @chaoticgood-munson @sherrylyn628 @bdpst-massacre @05secondsofsexgods @lovelyblueness @adoreyouusugar @nadixq @prozacandnicotine @munsonswhore86 @alwayslindie @thefemininemystiquee @hauntingbastille @eddie-joe-munson @ali-in-w0nderland @pepperstories @phyllosilicate-s @thebellenouvelle @luvrsbian @joesquinns @choke-me-joey @alizztor @thelostmoonofpooosh @did-it-work @capricornrisingsstuff @quinnsbower @frogers @kennedy-brooke @daleyeahson @eddielives1986 @harringtonfan4

(taglist currently full, sorry)

[yo9urt]

beat y4 last night ^_^!

VERY LONG

k!wami 2 post here for personal reference (i was too tired to write a post for 3 plus i finished it in like a week so there wasnt much to say except it was awesome and i had fun)

FINAL STATS

full substory completion except the last one cause idgaf about the amon guys

80 or 81 / 100 locker keys (i was going to get all of them and then i realized im gonna win no matter what and i wanted to see how it ended so i just ignored the last several)

24 pedestrians knocked down (i swear this is how many i knocked down in 3 too but i cant remember for sure)

completion rate 30.25%

play time 32:43 (actually slightly higher because i did karaoke with h4ruka in premium adventure. very fun!)

overall this game rocked my socks off. current ranking is probably:

0 > 4 > k!wami 2 > 3 ≥? k!wami

it would be really hard for any of the games to knock 0 out of the top for a lot of reasons but this game put in a very strong effort and deserves its place. reasoning:

loved the intro cinematic

loved the soundtrack (favorites: Glee, Funny, WHISKEY & RHAPSODY aka this game's "tense theme" omfg i could go on about this song it's SO GOOD, Rebellions (hard to appreciate it in the moment because saito is really fucking annoying but now that i'm listening to it on its own it's really good), and the ones that played during the one-by-one quad-boss fights at the end, also the song that played in the credits)

loved the karaoke also. ak!y4ma/hana's duet was beautiful and m4chine gun k!ss was a blast

LOVED the characters. every single guy was a banger. i loved ak!y4ma's mix of silly and serious and his general disposition and coolness and his backstory, i loved sa3j!ma's strong-silent-gentle archetyping and the way he was written and getting to know more about him during his part and i also loved how we got to know more about m4jima (my favorite as we all know) by extension, i LOOOOOVED t4nimura i thought it was so funny how after having a bunch of strong and virtuous protagonists we had a beat cop who gambled on the clock and took hush money from local businesses AND i loved how it turned out he was actually a good guy supporting the immigrants and i loooved his little character arc of basically growing up (being the youngest protag) and standing up for morals and for his dad and himself and stuff he was awesome, and then k!ryu obviously is just really cool everyone loves him. i liked the side guys too, especially kido, i love young scrappy characters like that, and also minami, he was such a weirdo and very classic m4jima family vibe so i liked him a lot, and also nair her training was hard but i loved her theme song and her side story arc

LOVED the story. it was a bit reminiscent of 0 in terms of having all the protagonists interlinked but obviously that's harder to do with 4 guys than it is with 2 so i admire how well everything ended up threading together and, even though i forgot a lot of things in between play sessions, i really enjoyed how each part slowly added more info while also retracing previous info and adding detail or clarifying questions that hadn't been answered yet. it was sooooo coooool seeing the same characters from another character's pov (lily-chan/murderer vs. sister vs. girl who knows things vs. girl looking for saejima, for example) and getting little callbacks and going "OHHH I REMEMBER!!!" honestly i just really enjoyed the whole thing from start to finish here

also loved how the protagonists got to bump into and even FIGHT each other, MULTIPLE TIMES, before the finale, and then at the end they all just hung out in the bar like "yo i can go do an errand if you want" that was very cute and it was fun running into them and going "hey i know you!"

also i liked s4ejima getting to be a patriarch at the end and m4jima being there that was very beautiful i'm really happy for him

i don't fuck with h4m4zaki because of what he did in y3 (you traumatize my daughter i traumatize YOU!!!!!!) but i was glad to see him become more of a good guy before he died. that was nice

LOVED (some of) the substories. the main one i remember is the floriography one where takashi is like "i need to know who my dad is!" and the florist makes him do a bunch of shit with the other protagonists as a test, i figured out what was going on like halfway through t4nimura's dialogue and i loved it lol. i kind of hope we see them again in the future since the substory was left a bit open ended with takashi seeming to figure out the truth but then we don't know what he does after that...

liked the gameplay, chase sequences were easy but not too easy, fights were easy but not too easy, LOOOOOVED getting to play 4 different fighting styles and work out the best way to make things happen with each one. my only complaint/regret is that i didn't really get the full potential of t4nimura's style until his boss fight at the very end when i was parrying the bodyguard guys left and right and smacking them every time they had their backs turned to me and felt like a beast, if i'd known he could do that/known how to do that earlier i would've enjoyed it even more. also i liked how everyone kind of had their own special area, mostly with s4ej!ma having the sewers and t4nimura having little asia but even ak!y4ma had his finance office and k!ryu briefly had okinawa so i thought that was a lot of fun. also i liked how you could go on the roofs and underground, the city felt more explorable which was a lot of fun :3 also i thought it was cool as fuck that you get to chase a guy on a boat

did NOT like: i wanted to play pachinko but the game never let me. that was annoying

what i'm looking forward to in 5: more m4jima/s4ejima (i'm not expecting a ton - actually i kind of am because sae is a protagonist i'm pretty sure - but i do know there's a scene where they eat bbq and i'm really looking forward to it i want to see them hang out i want to know what their relationship is like i want to know EVERYTHING they are very special to me), more ak!y4ma, playing as h4ruka (girl protagonist!!!!), ak!y4ma's karaoke (i already listened to his b4ka mit4i like 72 times and i'm soooo excited to hear it ingame), i'm also skimming the guide and it seems like there's a lot of good side content so i might take this game slow and enjoy myself like i did with 0. don't know about the hostesses, i've skipped them in every game past k1wami but it looks like every guy only has one girl instead of 72 so maybe i'll hang out with them this time...? i see a LOT of interesting minigames listed in there which makes me excited cause one of the reasons 0 is kind of perpetually my favorite is because the minigames were just tooooo good in that game and k1, k2, 3, and 4's side stuff have never been able to beat 0's for me so now i'm curious to see if 5 will be able to...

[starjxsung]

hiii bb. i hope you’re doing good <3 do my long-ass asks bother you?

but anyways! no, i feel you so bad. i usually fell asleep at like 2am and had to wake up at 6 for uni. and that’s really damaging for your health. i’m still getting used to it but magnesium and melatonin have helped me a lot with my insomnia. but im super lightweight in terms of taking pills so ill just sleep for a whole day if i take them together. so maybe you can look into that if you haven’t already. my mom’s a pharmacist so i got all the pill/supplement intel😅

i’m really sick of the insane amount of promos for this song as well. changbin posting a pic with him🙃🙃. i was like changbin honey angel baby ily but no. but i’m glad that a lot of people were commenting info about zionism and palestine under the picture <3 but so many others were supporting it🤕

im really sad that a lot of stays are boycotting silently too. education about these topics is so important!!! i’ve seen a lot of asks and comments about people who didn’t even know that ch*rlie p*th was a zionist or even what zionism is and when educated, stopped supporting the collab. there’s so many people who are unaware about the situation so shining light on the reasons can really change perspectives.

i love those pictures of momo sososososo much. she’s so bunny coded im obsessed. we r all momo stans here <333

my bf’s best friend came back from a trip to japan and he brought me a super cute hangyodon keychain. (he brought my bf a really really awesome studio ghibli greatest hits type of cd, i wish i took a pic to show it to you </3)

kuromi was like 5th which is consistent to where she was last year. i’m glad to see that other characters like pochacco and pompompurin are getting love though!

ily bb! i hope you’ve had the best weekend. and happy mother’s day to your mom & you 4 birthing queen momo 💘

(this is tofu literally helping me work on the presents and being a gift herself <3)

-🐈‍⬛

Hi my angel! Your long-ass asks get me through the days lately. They don’t bother me in the slightest !! 🫶

Thank you for all the wise pharmacist intel !! I will absolutely look into that. I need to hold myself to a better routine and be better about turning my phone off at night, but I always end up answering asks when I’m supposed to be sleeping and it’s just as therapeutic to me as rest is. It’s a constant battle 🫠

The Changbin pic 🤕 like skz never even use their instagrams all that much and all of a sudden we’re getting SO much stuff at the worst time possible ?? Where was this energy when I cared enough to interact with it 😭 the W Korea magazine covers too lorddddd everybody on my instagram knows I collect Felix magazines like a full time job and I had a few messages asking me if I’d seen his new covers. Had to politely share a story about why I’ll be quiet on my Felix shrine for a little bit 🤕 it sucks. Also absolutely agree with you about the education thing- I mean this has been an ongoing issue for 76 years now, but to pretend like it’s not EVERYWHERE since the escalation starting in October is just ignorant. It takes a few minutes to read through articles! People make tik toks! There are infographics! There’s so much information and to act like you don’t have time to do basic research is so silly.

Momo loves you right back 🫶💘!! She’s currently sitting in my window meowing at bypassers in my building and she’s very popular

Also the hangyodon keychain!!! That is so sweet of him oh my god!!!!!! I love love looooove hangyodon 🥹

Kuromi placing 5th makes so much sense if we’re going to give pochacco and pompompurin a little love too! Sanrio supremacy 🫶

PLEASE SEND TOFU ALL MY LOVE……. She is so cutie I’m so obsessed with her (and you) I love you angel!!!!! I hope you have the best weekend 💕💓💗🩷💘🫶👼 happy Mother’s Day to my favorite cat mama anon 🐱💓

[saveourskinship]

I Just Called To Say

Brrrriiiingggg

Hermione’s phone was ringing. Hermione’s Muggle phone that she only used to call up for takeaways and talk to her parents was ringing. At 1am. On a Friday.

Brrrriiiingggg

She stared while it had its tantrum, demanding her attention. Her glare fierce enough to Incendio the bloody thing if she narrowed her eyes the teeniest bit more.

Brrrriiiingggg

“Oh, for fuck’s s-” she picked the phone off its cradle, “What? I mean, Hello?” 

A kind of breathless, panting sound came down the line.

“I just wanted to call and tell you I don’t love you.”

Hermione didn’t recognise the voice, it certainly wasn’t her mum or dad. It wasn’t even Dev from the Indian place down the road. 

The call continued, “So no matter what you see or hear to the contrary... just know I absolutely, definitively do not love you.”

Hermione was silent. What do you even say to a call like this?

“Bloody hell, please say something so I know you understand what I’m telling you!” The voice was insistent and annoyed. 

Annoyed with her. For not replying to that insane declaration.

“Who is this?” she asked.

The voice grumbled, offended. “Draco Malfoy, of course!”

Hermione had never heard his voice run through electronic means. But now she thought about it, there was a tone of prattishness that even the wonders of technology couldn’t disguise. 

He also sounded drunk, which is to say not as clipped and articulate as usual.

Hermione was puzzled that he even knew how to use a phone.

“Right. Malfoy, you know you’ve called Hermione Granger’s phone?”

He paused. “Are you not her?”

“No, I am she. I was wondering if you knew whose phone you called.”

“Of course I bloody do! You know your number is listed in this ridiculous book where the phone is located and any maniac could just call you up!”

“That is becoming very clear,” Hermione deadpanned. “In fact, I’ve had one such call tonight.”

A shocked gasp came from the other end. “See? Infernal Muggle contraptions! Harrassing pretty witches. You ought to look after yourself better, Granger.”

Hermione could hear the distinctive shenanigans of Harry and Theo in the background.

“OK, and that’s all you wanted, Malfoy?” she sighed.

“Um, yeah. I guess so.” 

The voices of Harry and Theo were louder now.

“Oh Salazar take me, Harry! It’s open on ‘G’!” Theo yelled.

“G for Granger?” Harry’s slurring, teasing voice cackled.

“Must be! Because we both know Draco just looooov-” a distinctive muffling sounded and a clatter like the phone was dropped.

Hermione could hear laughter and indistinct exclamations.

Just as she was about to hang up the phone, Malfoy was back. 

“So yeah, I don’t love you, OK?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Next time you call me Malfoy, you better make it worth my while.”

There was a confused silence on the other end. 

“You can ask Harry what that means. Good night,” she hung up and pulled the phone out of the wall, going back to sleep.

There was a contrite and hungover Malfoy on her doorstep the next day.

“I take it Theo sent it to you?” he looked away, embarrassed.

Hermione raised her eyebrows and nodded.

“I’ve been playing it on a loop all morning.”

A video could be heard further in the house. A loud, aristocratic voice was ranting while two others laughed madly.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” Harry wheezed. “Tell us again, Malfoy!” 

“Yeah, for the camera this time,” Theo sing-songed.

“About Granger you mean? I don’t love her... I love her sooooo much. Like I honestly think she was handcrafted for me like a- like a custom-made Italian shoe or a cashmere blanket.”

The unrecorded real-life Malfoy was bright pink while Hermione tilted an amused head at him.

“OK, well, excuse me Granger while I go find a convenient bridge to throw myself off,” he turned away, but she called him back.

“Malfoy, do you know what a booty call is?”

“Something to do with pirates?” he guessed.

Hermione shook her head.

“What is it then?”

She paused. “Do you really love me soooo much?”

He pouted, “I’m guessing you’ve seen the tape enough to determine whether I was lying or not.”

“Hm, true,” she mused, twisting her mouth and coming to a decision. “Well a booty call is when one person calls the other at an unsociable hour with a particular purpose in mind.”

Malfoy’s eyes flicked to the side, thinking. “And that is what you thought I was doing when I phoned you last night?”

“What I hoped when I heard it was you,” she replied, looking at him through her lashes.

He still didn’t seem to understand properly but the way he leaned against her doorframe all lean and tall and gorgeous in addition to hearing the tape replay him recounting her very many qualities had her feeling confident.

“So what is the purpose of it?” he asked, trying to remain casual.

Hermione pulled him inside and closed the door, pressing herself flush against him and raising herself on her tiptoes so there was only a hair’s breadth between their lips.

She could feel his heart pounding beneath her hand as it snaked up his chest and heard him swallow at her proximity. A rush of heat flashing through her.

“Let me give you a demonstration.”

And she closed the gap.

[celestiababie]

Seonghwa NSFW Alphabet A-Z

A= Aftercare (What they do/act like after sex)

Seonghwa is a sweet baby, even though he can be SO DISRESPECTFUL WOW he’d make sure you’re okay and he’ll clean you up, but I honestly just think that this boy wants to cuddle ASAP. I feel like he’d be really dopey and adorable after a session together and shower you with praises as he tangled your legs with his, holding you close.

B= Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This boy does not and I mean DOES NOT keep his tongue in his mouth, so I think that he loves his tongue the most. He’d love the reactions you’d give while he gave you head. He definitely has a talented tongue and isn’t afraid to use it. As far as your body goes, he’d love your waist the most. It wouldn’t matter if you had a chubby waist or a thin waist or anything, he just loves holding you and his hands immediately go to your waist.

C= Cum (Anything to do with cum… I’m a disgusting person)

He’s a neat boy, but part of me feels like he wouldn’t mind getting messy once and a while. He’d love cumming inside of you stay safe kids and he’d love covering your stomach every now and then. He wants the clean up to be quick and easy, so he can just cuddle you.

D= Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He really really REALLY wants you to give him a lapdance. He’d often fantasized about it, but couldn’t bring himself to ask you. Just the thought of you dancing to a slow song, wearing something sexy for him, would get him riled up

E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Like my thoughts with most idols, I don’t think he’s the most experienced person in the world, and he may have never even had sex before you. This doesn’t mean he can’t learn fast and pick up on things that you like. He definitely has knowledge from watching things and looking up information.

F= Favorite position (This goes without saying)

Seonghwa would prefer missionary or fucking you against a wall. He wants to keep eye contact with you and kiss you as much as he can. He loves being close to you and feeling your skin against his.

G= Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Or are they more humorous?)

Hwa can get a bit goofy, he thinks that sex between people should be fun, but that doesn’t take away from the level of passion he has when the two of you have sex. Sometimes he wants to giggle and laugh off any awkward moments before he lets you feel how much he loves you.

H= Hair (How well-groomed are they?)

I think that Hwa is very well-groomed. Like I said in C, Hwa is very tidy, so it only makes sense that he would like to keep himself tidy as well.

I= Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

Hwa would be very intimate, he wants you to feel how much he loves you by expressing it with his body. He’d kiss your body up and down and whisper into your ear as he held you tight and rolled his hips against yours. He’d mutter out “I love you” and sweet nothings as he kissed you deeply.

J= Jack off (Masturbation)

He’d definitely jack off if you weren’t around or if he was alone, bored. He takes long showers and I can only imagine what he must do during that time. He would be kind of shy to express to you that he jerks off, but part of him would actually find the idea of you watching him do it hot.

K= Kinks (One or more of their kinks)

Hwa would be super into praise (giving and receiving), he wants to know that he’s making you feel good, and he wants to tell you how pretty you are. I also think that he has a slight choking kink, whether it would be your hand on his throat or his hand on yours, he’d love how oddly intimate it would be. He seems somewhat clingy and possessive, so he has a marking kink. He wants to mark you with pretty purple and red hickeys. He’d suck on the soft skin of your neck, down to your collarbones, then your chest, and even your thighs. He just wants people to know that you belong to him.

L= Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He’d prefer the bedroom, but he’d often have to sneak out and spend time with you at your place since he’d feel awkward if you two fucked while the boys were home… He’d also think that shower sex is fun, but he’d make sure that you two were careful.

M= Motivation (What turns them on?)

Having you close to him could probably get him turned on, but the main thing that would get Seonghwa turned on would be you whispering in his ear. He’d shudder when you’d do it and it would send shivers down his spine.

N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

He wouldn’t want to make you cry or give you a lot of pain. He wouldn’t be capable of continuing if he saw you in pain. He would never want to slap you on the face, even if you begged him to.

O= Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Don’t get me wrong, he loves receiving and he’d never turn down a good blowjob, but he could spend hours with his head in between your legs. He wants to give you as much pleasure as possible and with his skills? He could most definitely do it.

P= Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

This is a hard one… I think that Hwa would be somewhat slow, but he’d be really powerful in his thrusts, he’d speed up when you were getting close, and make sure that he was still just as powerful.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex and how often?)

Hwa hates quickies with a burning passion, he wants to take his time, and savor every second with you. On the other hand, he wouldn’t mind a quick handjob or blowjob before a performance…it would help calm his nerves and make him more confident on stage. You’d pull him into an empty room and be very careful to not ruin his outfit as you pleased him.

R= Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

There have been a few times where he’s convinced you to make-out with him on the couch, even though he knew one of the boys could walk in at any moment, but other than that, he’s fairly vanilla. He’d be willing to try some new things, but he knows what he likes, and is scared that something might go wrong, and you’d get hurt or something.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Because Hwa likes to take his time with you and give you pleasure first, he can last a very long time…maybe an hour or more. He can go for about 2 rounds, but when he cums, he gets sleepy and just wants to cuddle with you.

T= Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them?)

Hwa wouldn’t own any sex toys for himself, but he wouldn’t mind if you did. When he’s away from you, he knows that you use them on yourself, and he finds the thought of sexy, he might even want you to send him a video. He would be persuaded into using them on himself after you had wanted to try putting a vibrator on the tip of his cock. His life was changed after that day…

U= Unfair  (How much do they like to tease?)

This man loooooves to tease you and make you beg for him to give you more. After a minute or two of teasing, he’ll give you what you want with a small smirk on his face. He’d get very pouty if you teased him, he wouldn’t really beg, but he’d give you puppy eyes and whine.

V= Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

Seonghwa wouldn’t be that loud, he’d still moan and groan in your ear, but it wouldn’t burst your eardrums or anything like that. Like I said in the previous letter, this boy will get whiney every now and then if you tease him. He makes really pretty sounds when he fucks you and just- wow.

W= Wild Card (Random headcanon)

It was a dark Friday night, you were already in your comfy bed. You had just gotten off the phone with Hwa and he was telling you how much he had missed you. You heard a slight rustling and the sound of something shattering. Hwa cursed loudly and you furrowed your brows at the sound of your boyfriend. You got up from your bed and slowly made your way out of your bedroom and turned on the light to the living room. Hwa was trying to clean up the shattered pieces of the lamp he had broke in the dark. You cleared your throat and looked at the male, amused as to why he was in your house and the fact that he had broken a lamp. He looked up with you with a weak smile and stuttered over his words.

“O-oh h-hi baby! I was just um…I wanted to see you. I promise I’ll get you a new lamp.”

 You rolled your eyes and beckoned him to come closer to you. When he got into arms reach, you pulled him close and wrapped your arms around him. “It’s fine~ I missed you…”

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”

The two of you hug in silence for a minute before he speaks up with a soft voice. “Can we cuddle in bed now?”

X= X-Ray (Lt’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Oh boy, here we go. Hwa definitely isn’t small, I’d say he’s more of a grower than a shower. He would be slightly above average but would have quite a bit of girth to him. Oml, this part is awkward to write. I’d say around 6 inches.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Hwa is a young male, so I think that his sex drive would be kind of high. He wouldn’t crave it 24/7, but he’d get needy 3-4 times out of the week. Sometimes he’d ask you for help, but if he didn’t feel like bothering you, he’d just solve his problem himself.

Z= ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterward?)

I’ve mentioned this on a couple of the other letters, he just wants to cuddle you as soon as possible. He gets really tired after he cums and he wants to drift off to sleep with you in his arms.

Thank you so much to whoever took the time to read this! I greatly appreciate it! Please don’t be a silent reader, tell me if you liked it, and tell me if I should do the other members.

- Admin

[hollywoodx4]

Eva Noblezada is a goddess

(and other hot Hadestown takes) (but tbh it’s always Eva heavy content here I make no apologies)

I wrote this after stage door when I didn’t breathe for the entire hour or so of stagedoor and sobbed the entire show,  so. This is a fun one. No apologies though.

Okay. So. Thats my overarching thought for this time around. She was FLAWLESS in every way. I felt so lucky to be in the same space that she was in even for that short amount of time. And I got to MEET her and THANK her for all of her positivity and just let her know that it gives me life and she sort of does this smile and eyebrow raise after she says thanks and says “oh, you should see my tweet today. Somebody was very mean to me and I got a little passive aggressive.” And I told her passive aggressive is good and she laughed so. Win.

Okay. So. During Living It Up On Top, there was. This MOMENT™️. So. I was watching Reeve and Eva because I LOOOOOVE Amber and she’s so fabulous but I really wanted to focus this time on the sidelines and Oh FUCK. So they’re near this barstool that Orpheus writes his songs at later on, and Eva gestures for him to sit down. He shakes his head and pats the stool, then she pulls him by his suspenders onto the stool and kind of holds him there for a second, he’s goofily grinning and she’s rubbing his shoulders for a MILISECOND before she smirks and climbs onto the stool in between his legs and turns herself around so her back is on him, and he holds her and she puts her hands on his thighs and starts tapping them to the music, kind of rocking back and forth. And HE. HE IS. HES-She goes back and forth from tapping his legs to squeezing his arms and back again for a while, and HE is kissing her head, then she turns and he smiles and they say something and he gets this FUCKING LOOK ON HIS FACE and leans in, lingers, and kisses her ear. But he can’t stop brushing the hair from her face, or snuggling her, and she’s fully leaned back into him patting his thighs or squeezing his arms tighter to her.

It’s was fucking MAGICAL but also. Have you ever felt like you’re intruding on a moment? Because? Wow. She also DOVE into their first stage kiss just saying. Their chemistry is UNBELIEVABLE. My friend’s boyfriend noticed too and was shook too because honestly it did feel like intruding on a moment but we are truly blessed to have witnessed it as fucking unreal and CUTE AS HELL as it was.

(And then at stage door they came out at the same time and went to different ends of the barricade and when they met in the middle she stopped him to lean up and whisper something in his ear for the longest moment. Then my friend asked what her favorite song in the show was and she just points to Reeve and literally blanks on his name for a hot second, laughs at herself, and goes “he sings it. That guy...” and it takes her another second and she just lights up and says “If it’s True. I love hearing him sing it.” Which. TEAR MY HEART OUT EVA. Especially since she literally had tears rolling down her cheeks during that song like it’s fucking POWERFUL.

Hadestown itself was phenomenal-everyone was in their A game. Eva’s flowers literally WRECKED me. She was SOBBING by the end, but at the beginning she had these really soft small tears and she took the lines slow and in this minuscule voice that just. PHYSICALLY pained me. She was looking up at the sky/the wall at the last few lines, trying to remember the things that she’s lost, and she just full on broken voice goes for it at the end and is basically choking it out and it HURT SO MUCH.

She also was the CUTEST HUMAN because during Road to Hell and Living it Up On Top, every time she’d pass Kay or Yvette or Jewelle she’d make a face at them, or be sort of silly (she stuck her tongue out at Yvette it was so freaking cute)

I love Reeve’s energy. It is so pure and scattered, this Orpheus is the way he should be and I will say that forever. I also spent a lot of time during the show thinking about whoever headcanons him as having autism, and I do as well. I think that once I read that initial post (and I’m so sorry I can’t think of who it is that posts autistic Orpheus at that moment) I could not stop thinking about him as anything else. One thing I noticed this time is that he often had his eyes closed during the la las, and his expression was one of a sort of very fixated concentration, squeezing his eyes shut and focusing hard and then opening them with this sort of hesitant confidence like he knows he’s on the right track but is not overly confident at all.

He also just. I just kept thinking of how much I see him as a soft baby that I want to protect with my entire life. I just admire the chemistry that he has with Eva as you could tell in every tiniest movement just how very hard and fast Orpheus falls for Eurydice, and how he’s literally ALWAYS touching her as if he’s internally afraid that she’ll leave. And Wait for Me is always just this magical moment that I want to feel in my soul for the rest of my life. The ENTIRE theatre is dead silent the entire time and then there’s this 3 minute thunderous applause that’s just. It’s incredible. It’s SO moving.

My friend also asked Reeve what his favorite song to sing in the show was and he said he doesn’t have one 😂 tbh he seems to be VERY quiet in person, both times I’ve seen him he is very methodical about getting everyone at stagedoor but he’s very quiet and almost shy and it is v cute. (Meanwhile Eva’s on the other side of the crowd literally cackle laughing with someone and like. Working the room. They’re both so magical.)

(I told Jewelle at stagedoor that I have been a few times and am trying to bring as many people as possible and come back often and she said “good-please keep us employed” 🤣 )

Anyway it was the most glorious magical night and I will never forget meeting Eva Noblezada even though I literally looked TERRIBLE in the photos you KNOW I’m going to hang them up. Also I’m trying to go back ASAP.

[disposedserenity]

*rough* review of MOTS:7

The title might say review, but it’s really just my own thoughts that I want to share in the form of verbal vomit. STREAM while u read.

1) Interlude: SHADOW I loved the song right away on first listen. The extended version is soooo good, because it traces back to yoongi’s iconic ‘I want big house, big cars, big rings’ line from NMD. Thematically, this is my favourite concept out of the 3 rap line solos (Persona, Shadow & Ego). Yoongi songs all immediately reasonate with me because the stuff he writes about are what I’ve experienced at one point in my life.... and I feel so deeply when yoongi is rapping about it. At this point, I could go on forever about why I love yoongi songs so much but I will stop here.

2) Black Swan

It took me about three listens to fully appreciate the song, but I KNEW I was going to love it when I heard that trap beat and the bump bump bump lyric... Then I watched the performance, and I just loved it even more. For years, I’ve been fervently wishing that bts (especially jimin) would do a contemporary dance and I AM SO GLAD THEY DID!! Speaking of the dance, that’s another analysis on it’s own.... The way they match the dance steps to the lyrics.... Also this song lined up right after shadow makes perfect sense because Shadow talks about losing yourself into the deepest and darkest recesses of your soul while in Black Swan, the boys step into that shadow and confront it because they realise you have to make peace with your shadow to emerge triumphant.

3) Filter

I swear, this could be an Alec Benjamin song because this song has Alec Benjamin VIBES all over. Well, I guess jimin took inspiration from him because he put a ton of alec’s songs on his spotify playlist and even went to his concert so yey! Both their voice tones are similar ish because it’s very distinct and their singing voices are quite different from their speaking voices so it’d be really cool if they made a song together. Funnily enough, I don’t really like this song as much as I thought I’d would. It’s not a bad song, but I think I don’t gravitate to this song as much because this song was written about jimin for jimin and it’s really himself that he’s singing it to.

This song also radiates BIG libra energy. Libras love changing and moulding their personalities to please other people and they put on various personas to showcase the multi-faceted sides of themselves (sorry, just a huge astrology enthusiast here lolol). Filter has a narcissist undertone to it done in a purposeful manner. The protagonist of this song KNOWS he’s desired and is flaunting it in any way possible. They are aware of the power they hold and are wielding it to control the listener (the pursuers) Ahahaha sounds like someone we know? Recently, I told a friend that Jimin is really good at fan service. He’s the idol of idols, his face and name gets recognised first, everyone wants to be him AND be with him.... To sum it up, filter is jimin showing the world that he has many sides and it doesn’t matter which we are going to choose because he can adapt to whichever one you please (this push and pull reminds me a lot of house of cards hmm...)

4) My Time

Jungkook definitely has some magic where his song always gets to me and I immediately like the song. I think he excels in laying out his emotions bare and this creates a perfect canvas for telling his story. I definitely cannot relate to what he talks about in My TIme because I am not a jetsetting global superstar who vary between time zones (not that I know of), yet I still feel like I’ve been in his exact footsteps and know that feeling. This, my friends, is what true skill looks like. The rarest of musicians are able to write a song about themselves and make it relevant to almost everyone. It’s an impossible task. Yet, this golden maknae has succeeded once again.

In Begin, he talks about leaving Seoul to pursue his dreams and dedicates that song to his 6 members, his 6 newfound brothers, the hardships they go through and again, this hits you hard. You might not have left your hometown at a young age, but everyone has left something or someone behind in their lives. Euphoria ALWAYS makes me melancholic even though I clearly 1) am not young, 2) do not have a first love 3) minus bts, would NOT call anyone the cause of my euphoria but shit, jungkook out here got me feeling things and tearing up.

Thank you jungkook for constantly expressing your thoughts in such a clear way in any song you write, and My Time is no exception (and it sounds like such a r&b banger too)

5) Louder than Bombs

TROYE! SIVAN! You absolutely can hear troye’s fingerprints all over this song because this song sounds like a troye song (in the best way possible, because I looooove troye and his music) This is another classic “happy sounding but sad af lyrics” bangtan moment. Louder than Bombs is a good midway point in the album because they are crossing into the sad, aggressive, heart tearing, no bullshit songs territory.

(I don’t have a lot to say about this because I really love this song and sometimes with songs that I like, I just sit back and enjoy for what it is.)

6) ON

OKAY NOW LET’S GET INTO FORMATION! (yes, this was the first thing that it reminded me of hahaha and her superbowl half time performance had a marching band too) THIS.IS.SUCH.AN.ABSOLUTE.EARWORM. I LOVE IT. The 30 second preview made me so intrigued because it only featured the “hey na na na” part so I wondered what ON would sound like. I was NOT expecting it to sound like that, but what can I say? BTS always blows me away with their title tracks.

Speaking of formation, hooooo boy do I love the formation of this choreography. Mad props to The Lab for pulling this out of their hat because IT IS SO IMPRESSIVE. The set up reminds me of dionysus too, in the way that the choreography is being arranged in the live performances. Big ups to the Blue Devils marching band too, because even though you can’t really see much of them in the mv (or maybe I’m too focused on the boys lol) but you can hear the marching band so much clearer in the audio and I am LIVING for it. Overall, I am utterly thrilled by this masterpiece.

7) UGH!

*gunshots* alright back to 2013 bangtan let’s go. UGH, when will rap line stop making a banger? never I guess, UGH. lord, just let me get dissed by rap line once and then life would be better.

I. fucking. love. the. rap. line. I am definitely not smart enough to try to analyse or decipher the lyrics even with translations because their wordplay is on a whole other level. With cyphers and ddaeng, I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore but I still am. They manage to outdo themselves with every new song they release together. RM, Suga and J-Hope are great on their own but you put them TOGETHER? in one STUDIO? god help us all when this is performed live because someone’s gonna get headbanged out of the venue. I’ll end this with a silent prayer for a rap line concert.....

8) 00:00

This song is so, so, so painful. This song is what Tonight is to me. Ok I’m going to get a whole lot more personal here.

I was in a fucking terrible internship last year during the period Persona was released (I’m actually quite thankful this song wasn’t released then or I’d really have full on goblin ugly cry listening to this). That was the worst job experience I’ve ever had in my life (lao tian ye please don’t deal me any more shitty hands). I spent every day wishing that my misery would end soon and I physically did not want to go to work the next day. Every morning, I was almost crying to have to get up to go to work (and because it was an almost 2 hour journey to the office). By the time I reached home, all I could do was eat (if I had an appetite) and retire to my room and lie on the floor and just stare into my ceiling while mindlessly scrolling through social media looking for some sort of solace. Some days, even bts wasn’t doing it for me. Even though I managed to get out of that hellhole before the end date, the trauma (lol can I call it that?) and emotions stayed with me throughout the rest of the year. Only one friend knew I had depression and constantly asked me about it (thank you friend, even though you won’t read this...) and I even looked up therapists in singapore.

The lyrics ‘An unsettling night, suddenly, I look at the clock. Soon, it’s 12 O’Clock. Will something change. It probably won’t be the case’ hits so hard because this describes my situation to a T. By the time I got home, it was about 8.30 and by the time I snapped out of my mindlessness, it was almost midnight and this cycle just carried on for months. 

Zero O’Clock

And you gonna be happy

Midnight is both a happy and sad hour, because for some it could signal the end of their misery or their happiness. Back then, it was my hell because it meant a new hellish day was approaching. Looking back now, I realise it could have been a tiny form of happiness because it meant that the days are passing and the end to my pain was getting closer.

So thank you Jin, Jungkook, V and Jimin for creating such a beautiful song that I didn’t know would end up being so personal. Putting aside the meaning, it is such a great song that I’d put on repeat. But I’m scared to call this a favourite because of how intimate this is for me so I hope y’all understand. But, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

9) Inner Child

This sounds like it should be a in a drama or anime haha. The “whoa ohhhh” vocals in the backgrounds reminds me a lot of Jet Lag too. Inner Child is a very fitting title because as V described, it is a letter to his past self. As an ARMY, I’ve witnessed how much V has matured over the past few years. I mean even though all of the members have also grown, V’s transformation is the one that stands out the most (at least to me). Tae went from a bright eyed outgoing kid to a still outgoing but deeply contemplative adult in front of millions of adoring fans and strangers alike, and I cannot imagine how that must be like for him. V is a notoriously private person, and we know the least about if you reeeally think about it. I will never (nor do I want to) know what goes through his mind but I appreciate the fact he reveals a tiny glimpse of it in his songs (scenery, winter bear and now inner child).

10) Friends

CAN YOU SPELL SOULMATES? NO YOU CAN’T, BECAUSE THERE IS NO VMIN IN IT. Ships are cute and all, but vmin has trascended beyond what ships are and I’m convinced they are all part of a bigger plan arranged by the Almighty that no matter what happens, they will always find each other in their four lives (can you tell I’ve been watching Goblin lolol). Recently, I was listening to a podcast by Jae and the episode was about the probability of soulmates. One of the questions he posed was what is a soulmate? To me, I believe that soulmates exist in many forms. There are the romantic soulmates (hi glenn & benn), friendship soulmates, family soulmates, strangers soulmates and even a bond between a pet and a human. I now think there should be another category of soulmates and that is vmin. *cries I want what vmin have* Not everyone manages to find their soulmates. The lucky ones do, and the rest of us will have to settle for second best.

Also kudos to Jimin for his first ever produced song! woohoo

11) Moon

When I first read that this was a song about Jin’s love for ARMY, I braced myself for a full waterfall of tears. However, I was pleasantly surprised by how happy this song sounds??? (thanks jin for not making me cry again like tonight did). Now that I think about it, of course Jin would make a happy love song (pffft saggis). As we all know, Jin’s way of comforting himself is to comfort others through laughter, smiles and lotsa dad jokes. No one else but Jin would and I love him even more for this. He takes the idea of what you’d think a love song would sound like and turn it around. SAD? NOT IN JINHIT ENTERTAINMENT.

Jin, know that you are more than a handsome face and the oldest member. You are loved more than you think you are. You think you’re the moon to us? No hun, you are the entire galaxy contained in those worldwide shoulders.

12) Respect

My favourite track. I mean starting with that iconic “should I stay or should I go” line? Genuis. Collab of the year. Namgi of the year. Ok, maybe I am slightly (alot) bias since this song is essentially Suga, RM & El Capitixn (yes, THE El Capitixn that helped to produce DDAENG).

Namgi dynamics are so rarely talked about because most people see them as the underground rapper duo who’ve known each other over 10 years and are old friends and that’s about it. Their dynamics just gets to me even more because the trust and respect they have for each other is incredible. Joon looks up to yoongi as an older member and also for his incredible work ethic, while yoongi trusts joon wholeheartedly as their leader even though joon is younger and the way they banter off each other? ugh, where can I get bros like namgi? Their rap and producing styles are so vastly different yet the result that is respect makes ME respect them. Use me as your slave, masters.

bonus: that ending clip of them just having a convo? please share your stories from back in the day, please. I said please. with a cherry on top.

13) We are Bulletroof: the Eternal

Is this MOTS : 7′s answer to Mikrokosmos? I can already imagine this as the ending song of a concert..... A perfect tune to end the album as well. Who knew my attraction to the number seven had a deeper meaning than just simply liking it huh? Is my life preplanned too.... @ universe  give me answers. I really like how this song did not go the WABB Part 1 & 2 route and took a softer approacher indeed. It’s almost like they are saying we were seven hardened boys made more tender with the existence of armys.... ok bitch don’t make me cry anymore than I have been suppressing.

“we are not seven, with you” :’))))

14) Outro: Ego

This is the kind of song that gets better the more you listen to it. Not that it was bad on the first listen, but usually such bright and positive songs takes a while longer for the emo in me to process. I say this all the time that I almost sound like a broken recorder, but I LOVE LOVE how hobi has crafted a sound for him that is uniquely his and you will be able to immediately recognise it’s him (which is such a hard feat to pull off, might I add). I’m also immensely proud because he started out as a street dancer to becoming one of the best rappers in the industry while holding his rightful candle alongside two already established rappers that is namgi. I cannot wait to see this being performed live because you just know he’ll get everyone and their grandmas to start vibin right there.

In conclusion, I love bts. what else is there more to say.

[fanfic-inator795]

RotTMNT Oneshot: Family Karaoke Night

(Also on AO3 if you want to leave a kudos/comment there)

Plot: No matter what their singing abilities, anyone can get into karaoke - even an old rat.

((Finally finished this after having it in my drafts for like a month. Basically, I love family fluff, I love silly fun, and I love imagining characters singing. Put them all together, and you get this. Enjoy! ^v^))

While most kids her age probably had to be pushed and dragged into getting their homework done early, April had no problems with it. Of course, that MAY have had something to do with wanting to hang out with her brothers for a couple hours before having to go to bed and prepare for another exhausting school day, but hey, motivation was motivation.

Though, naturally, this motivation waned a little on the weekends, where it was far too easy to just push everything off until Sunday afternoon. It was a bad habit, April could admit that, but she had gotten a bit better at doing at least a little work each day before rushing off the sewers. And, on nights like tonight, she didn’t want to risk anything weighing on her mind and possibly ruining her night.

So, she worked through her assignments as soon as she got home, and munched on reheated leftovers as she wrote out the outline for her essay that was due the next week. Once she was satisfied with the progress she had made, April shut down her computer, grabbed her already packed bag and heading out the door, making sure to give Mayhem a quick pet goodbye before leaving. It was a bit later than she had hoped, though that hardly mattered when you were staying up all night.

“Heyyyy, I’m here!” April yelled once she reached the entrance of the lair. Almost immediately, she heard footsteps race towards her, and with a grin, she ran towards the brothers with open arms.

“See, boys? I told you she’d show up soon!” Raph said as soon as their group hug ended.

“Of course! I just had some homework I had to finish up, but there was no way that I was going to miss-”

“Karaoke niiiight~” Leo sang, holding a pretend microphone to his mouth. His brothers joined in, harmonizing. “Karaoke niiiiight!” “Karaoke ni-i-iiiiiight~!”

April snickered, shaking her head. Such dorks, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. After a moment though, she noticed the missing member of their quartet. “Hey, where’s Donnie?”

“Oh, you know how he is,” Raph answered, “He’s still downloading songs. I guess there was this album that was just released that he really wanted to sing?”

“Ah,” April nodded. That definitely sounded like Donnie. “Heh, you’d think he’d be happy with the songs we have. He texted me yesterday, tellin’ me all about how it was apparently ‘the most advanced karaoke machine of all time’. Wouldn't be surprised if that thing had a thousand and one songs on that thing by now.”

“Thaaat sounds about right, but apparently it’s still not enough,” Leo shrugged. Not that he could really complain, more songs could only be a good thing, just as long as they weren’t a bunch of cheesy love songs that he and his family sang at literal nauseum while they were high off a case of Rat Flu. No matter how fun the idea of an all-night karaoke night might have been, Leo wasn’t and would never be in the mood to hear a another three hour rendition of “My Heart Will Go On”.

“Come on, let’s go grab the snacks and then we can ask him about it!” Mikey told them, already grabbing April’s arm and eagerly dragging her towards the kitchen, “Oh! And April, did you bring-?”

“Of course!” April grinned, holding up her bag full of goodies. Beads and tacky sunglasses, huge hats and feather boas, and at least half a dozen old halloween costumes. It would seem that one person’s trash was another person’s stage outfit. Mikey grinned back at her, giving her a quick hug.

“This is gonna be AWESOME!” “Heh, isn’t it always with you guys around?” “Could say the same thing about you, sis~”

It took a bit of maneuvering to grab all of the snacks and treats Mikey had made in one go, but thankfully the box turtle’s near perfect balance and April’s experience in waiting tables helped them enough to carry all of it into the next room without spilling a single crumb - though they’d have to come back for the drinks. Naturally there were pizza puffs, as well as chicken wings, tortilla chips, popcorn shrimp, and even cupcakes (and in three different flavors, no less). Even with supper still settling in her stomach, she couldn’t deny that it all looked delicious!

“Gee Mike, you think we have enough to get us through the night?” April asked, smirking a bit despite the weight on her arms.

“I sure hope so.” Mikey placed the final bowl on his head, making sure not to tilt it. “But, if we get really desperate, I think we’ve got some ice cream in the back of the freezer.”

“Uh huh, and how old is it?”

Mikey thought for several moments before he finally answered, flashing a sheepish grin as he did so. “Uhhh, probably best not to ask.”

The tv room had been completely transformed. Leftover streamers from past birthday and holiday parties had been strung around haphazardly while a small ball with rainbow lights spun in the corner, giving the whole room a sort of disco effect. The lights were low and the projector was already on, and near the screen were two speakers that had been dragged out specifically for this night. From the karaoke machine, Donnie (whose classic goggles had been replaced with a pair of purple shutter shades) gave April and his youngest brother a brief wave, barely looking up from his tablet.

Beanbags, blankets and pillows had also been dug out, creating a classic sleepover mood. Near Splinter’s chair was their usual eating table, where they quickly dropped off their load. Almost immediately, Raph and Leo dug in, putting their “Best Power Rock Anthem of All Time” argument on hold for the time being.

“So, we about ready to start this night, already?” April asked, “Cause I’ve had a loooong day, and I’m ready to get singin’!”

“Just a few more minutes!” Donnie told her, “Just have to finish downloading these last few songs, plus install the love song blocker-”

“Tha’k yuu!” Leo said through a mouth-full of pizza puffs. His twin simply gave him a thumbs up.

“If April’s callin’ the first song of the night, then Raph’s callin’ the second one! After all-” He smirked, his voice deepening. “Someone’s gotta bring a bit of soul to this shindig. Awww, yeahhh~”

April snorted, covering her mouth before her giggles could escape. How Raphael managed to get into soul music of all things, she would never know. But hey, whatever made him happy. “Heh, second song’s all yours, Raph.”

“Sweet. Thanks, girl.”

“Ooh! And we’ve just GOTTA do duets!” Mikey chimed in, quickly turning back to his genius purple brother, “That thing does duets, right Dee?”

“It had precisely two hundred and thirty nine duets programmed into it, as well as a second microphone plug-in available. ...So yes, ‘Angelo,” he smiled simply, “It does duets.” Mikey leapt across the sea of blankets to pull him into a hug, silently thanking him for all his hard work. Not that it was really THAT hard or even that much of a bother - Donnie was just as much of a showman (er, show-turtle) as the rest of his brothers, and it didn’t take a genius to realize that they would be hearing quite a few Broadway numbers that night. Still, he appreciated the gesture, and returned it with a quick pat on Mikey’s shell.

“Well then come on, guys! Let’s stop talking about it and get started already!” Leo grinned, standing from his seat and striking a bit of a pose, “I hope you’re ready to be blown away by my sweet singing skills.”

“Hmph, gonna be hard to be ‘blown away’ if all you sing are meme songs,” Donnie retorted, rolling his eyes while everyone else snickered.

Leo however was hardly offended. “Don’t act like you still don’t consider ‘All Star’ to be a jam even after all the memes,” he said, smirking back at his twin.

“You know, in my time, people went out for karaoke rather than just taking over the nearest space for who knows how long.” Everyone turned to see Splinter in the doorway, looking not too happy about losing control of the tv room for the night. Sure, he had a tv in his bedroom, but the smaller screen plus what was sure to be a whole night of loud singing and laughter wasn’t much of a consolation.

“Aww, come on, Pop, don’t be like that,” Raph said, offering his father a welcoming smile. The rat man just huffed, crossing his arms.

“We’ve got snacks!” Dashing back over to the small table, Mikey picked up the bowl of chips. “You looooove snacks~”

Splinter hummed. “I do love snacks,” he mumbled, softening a bit.

“And-” Leo began, hoping to seal the deal and free themselves from their rat-dad’s grumpiness towards their special night once and for all, “I’m sure we could fit in some time to let you sing a few songs too! Come on, Dad, join in on the fun!”

At that, Splinter’s yellow eyes narrowed and hardened once more. “Ohhh, so NOW you don’t mind me singing, huh?” he asked, “Have you boys learned to appreciate other people’s musical talent, or do you simply not mind listening to something that ‘belongs in the sewers’?”

While April could only look on in confusion, the four turtles all winced in harsh realization. So THAT was why he was so upset and annoyed…

“Okay, but that was different!” Leo argued, “That was for our band and, and we just wanted it to be OUR thing!” In a lower tone, he added, “Plus it’s not like weird opera singing would’ve fit anyway-” Splinter growled. He tries to impress his sons a little with something unique and this is what he gets?

“BUT, that still doesn’t make it right!” Raph said, quickly jumping in (and shooting Leon a glare for good measure), “We’re sorry for what we said, and for bein’ so rude about it, okay Pop?”

“Yeah!” “Totes!” April nodded as well, despite having nothing to do with whatever incident brought all this up, just to give her support. Getting an idea, she then reached over and grabbed one of the microphones.

“You could even have the first song!” she offered, handing him the device as a peace offering, “What do you say, Master Splinter?”

“...” Splinter looked at the microphone, then at the faces staring back at him. All of them (the boys especially) were looking at him with concern as well as encouragement. Splinter sighed through his nose. He might have been petty at times, but he wasn’t so stubborn that he’d totally ruin his kids’ night. “I suppose I could sing one song.”

“Then step on up, Dad!” Donnie smiled, giving a dramatic wave of his arm towards the karaoke machine. Splinter smirked at the gesture, and began scrolling through the seemingly infinite song list.

“So you’re SURE there’s no love songs on there,” Leo whispered. Donnie nodded - though, he still wasn’t expecting that great of a ‘performance’ judging by how far back he moved, phone in hand. He just hoped whatever his father picked, it wasn’t too long of a song.

Thankfully, the genre tabs made it a bit easier to search for something familiar to him. He didn’t expect there to be any non-anime opening Japanese songs on there, but- “Aha!” He selected a song, and after a couple seconds, a light enough tune began playing through the speakers. First a keyboard and guitar, and then a blast of trumpets.

Immediately, everyone sat up a bit straighter. “Whoa! Is this-?” Raph asked, beginning to grin.

“I didn’t know he liked THIS kind of music too!” Leo commented.

“Ha! I grew up with this music, frankly I’m surprised YOU all even know it!” Splinter chuckled. The wonders of the Internet and timeless hit songs, he supposed. He then began to sing as he struck a bit of a pose, not even needing the words.

“Do you remember... the 21st night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders, while chasing the clouds awayyyyy~” His young audience started clapping along with the beat, giving a small cheer or two as they did. “Our hearts were ringing, in the key that our souls were singing. As we danced in the night, remember how the stars stole the night away~”

Sure, Splinter’s voice was still a bit gravely and off-key, but- “You know, he’s actually not that bad,” Donnie smiled, “Definitely has stage presence.”

“Heh, yeah,” Raph agreed, “And he can sure put a lot of energy into somethin’ when he wants to, don’t you think-?” April’s laugh cut him off, bringing the snapper’s attention back to the ‘stage’ in front of him, where his younger brothers now stood beside their father, happily singing along with the chorus despite not having microphones of their own. Splinter just grinned at them, not minding them all.

“Ba de ya!” Leo and Mikey sang.

“Someday you’ll remember-” Splinter sang back.

“Ba de ya!” They sang again, with Raph and Donnie now joining in as well.

“Dancing in September~”

“Ba de ya!”

“Never was a cloudy dayyyyy!” Splinter and April both belted out, with the latter still trying to hold back her laughter. The song went on, and not a single voice completely dropped out, with Splinter naturally taking the main part while his children kept the chorus strong. Even as the tune faded out, they all still sang and danced and giggled until Splinter finally spoke up once more.

“Well, I think it’s clear that I’ve properly gotten this karaoke night started~” He smirked, “April, I believe it’s your turn.”

“Don’t mind if I do!” April grinned as the rat passed the microphone.

April and Raph kept things in the 70s a bit longer with “Hanging On the Telephone” and a bit of Stevie Wonder while the twins brought it back to more moderns hits with  “Never Gonna Give You Up” (“Seriously, Leon? We were having such a great time and I feel so annoyed right now.”) and a bit of Daft Punk. Mikey nearly brought the sewers down with his rapping, and then it was back to Splinter with “Right Back Where We Started From”, a song the boys could swear they remember him singing from the childhoods, either while he was preparing food or just a light sorta-lullaby to calm them down.

The song selections went from disco to glam rock, broadway to hip-hop, soul to techno, and everything in-between. Costumes were naturally dragged out with each new performance, further adding to the fun as numerous pictures were taken. Snacks were replenished twice and Splinter grabbed some sake from his second “Do Not Touch” cabinet in the kitchen. He wasn’t much of a drinker these days, finding milk and cake more appealing, but he figured a glass or two wouldn’t hurt. As for everyone else, they loaded up on sugary pop and juice, not minding missing out.

It didn’t take long for Splinter to drop out after that, though he was still content with sitting in his chair and watching everyone else sing. He clapped after the surprisingly impressive rap battle between his youngest and his oldest, and laughed along with everyone else when Leo tried to sing some Vanilla Ice.

But, not even the most fun karaoke nights could last forever. The time between songs, where they’d just talk about random things or play on their phones, was getting longer and longer. Donnie had begun singing one of the more mellow songs currently on the billboard top 100 when Splinter finally closed his eyes.

When he woke up, the atmosphere in the room was much different. It was quiet, warm and peaceful even, despite the harsh neon lighting from the spinning light ball. On the screen, a turtle-shell logo silently bounced around. Surrounding his chair, Splinter could hear the light snores and mumbles of his sons and their friend. He could also see all the empty cans and wrappers, not to mention all the dishes and crumbs.

Splinter shook his head, mentally scolding them for the mess before shrugging it off. They were teenagers and making messes was just a thing they did, they could always clean later. He then put a paw to his mouth, muffling his cough. He didn’t lose his voice, but his throat was still pretty dry.

Slowly, he got up, and crept around the covered lumps, silent and swift like the ninja master he was. He stole one last glance at them once he reached the doorway, their laughter from the night before still echoing in his mind. He smirked at the memory, chuckling lightly before making his way to the kitchen.

Not wanting to wait for tea, Splinter just grabbed a cup and ran some warm water, drinking that instead. He made sure to sit as well, his aging joints still aching slightly despite being plenty mobile. He had accepted his age, having fought off any ‘mid-life crisis’ thoughts pretty well so far, but that didn’t mean he didn’t still notice certain things. The aches, the fatigue, the white hair.. (He still wasn’t completely sure if that last one was simply the mutation’s doing, or if raising four kids really stressed him out that much.)

Even so, nights like the one they just had and the content mornings like the one he was having now reminded him that he still had plenty left to enjoy and much more life to live. He definitely appreciated that… Perhaps that was why, once he finished his drink and his throat no longer ached, Splinter began getting out various pans and ingredients.

Ever since Michelangelo developed his cooking passion at the age of eight, he and his brothers had taken care of whatever meals that weren’t just ordered in. But just because Splinter was no longer the chef of the house didn’t mean he still didn’t know how to prepare a decent family breakfast. He started the rice first, then the eggs. They would have just enough for everyone to get one omelette each. He was just about to start cracking them when he heard footsteps.

“Morning,” April said quietly, giving him a nod.

“Good morning, April,” Splinter nodded back, “Feel free to go back into the tv room and relax, it’s going to be a while.”

“Actually, I think I’m gonna stay here for a while,” April replied, “I needed to stretch for a bit, and I do have another set of hands right here for you to use.”

“I’m capable of making breakfast on my own,” Splinter told her, his tone betraying his otherwise distancing words. You are a guest, don’t feel like you need to help.

April just smiled, and walked over to the counter. “I know, and so am I. Mind handin’ me a peeler?”

Having no real reason to argue, Splinter did as he was told. “...By the way, thanks for joining us last night,” she told him. With all the adventures there were to be had around the city and Splinter’s shows that he enjoyed watching, the six of them didn’t always get to hang out together too often. But just because these instances were more rare didn’t mean they weren’t still wanted. “The guys and I really enjoyed havin’ you around. ...You’re a pretty cool guy, Master.”

A warm smile crept onto his lips. “...I could say the same about you, April.”

The two worked in silence, with Splinter concentrating on the rice and eggs while April made her favorite hashbrown recipe as well as some bacon. Slowly but surely, the rest of their underground home (or in April’s case, home away from home) started coming back to life.

Mikey woke up first, greeting them both with a hug and eager to help by making toast. Raph came next, having smelt the food. With the food covered, he assigned himself table setting duties. Finally, a very groggy pair of twins joined them. Donnie started up the coffee machine and tea kettle (with the majority vote settling on camomile with a bit of honey) while Leo got out all the juice they had left in the fridge.

By the time everything was done, conversations had started up, hoping to hide the sound of their stomachs growling. “You know, we should try to do this next week!” Mikey said as they all began to sit down, “Or next month or, you know, just sometime soon!”

“What, karaoke till we pass out and then breakfast the morning after?” Donnie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Mikey nodded eagerly. “Yeah! At least once a month! Come on, you guys are lyin’ if you say you don’t want to do that more often.”

While Mikey’s brothers and sister considered it, Splinter hummed in consideration. “Not a bad idea, Orange, though why don’t we focus on eating breakfast and cleaning up last night’s mess before we plan anymore karaoke nights, hm?”

The box turtle gave a sheepish smile. “Heh, right,” he said as he began digging into his food, “Got it, Pops.”

Splinter smiled back at his orange son before looking back down at his own plate. He nibbled on his rice and toast, and resisting the urge to start humming a certain song from the night before… Fun karaoke nights with his family were one thing, but getting a tune stuck in his head for hours on end was quite another.

Still, it wasn’t a bad idea… Not a bad idea at all.

THE END

[kkyuproof]

Jikook/Kookmin Fic Rec Part 1

(Part 2 Here)

I’ve slowly been building up my list of KM fics and thought I might as well share them with the rest of the Tumblr-sphere (and organize them all because if the rest of my life is a mess, at least my fav fics can be orderly amirite)! I’m somewhat new to BTS and KM so it’s not too big a list, but I’m going to be updating this as I find more that I enjoy :) Happy Reading! 

(most of these are probs old fics because like i said IM NEW HERE IM SO SORRY, but i hope you still find it helpful idk man)

Mostly Fluffy Fics

you are the ruler of the stars (and my heart) by cygnus (sunsprite) | Words: 18k | Jimin reluctantly joins his college’s Space and Astronomy club on the basis of Taehyung’s persuasion. Surrounded by a group of unnecessarily tall space nerds, he unexpectedly finds himself falling in love with one of them.

OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO CUTE. One of my fav fluffy fics to be honest. I was squealing basically the whole time i was reading. love.

i’ll stick to you like glue-cose by cygnus (sunsprite) | Words: 7k |  Jimin merely wanted to study in peace, yet a certain five-foot ten frat boy -- unfortunately also a past hookup -- that epitomizes the very definition of smugness in one entire body whose ego is as big and full-scaled as the national debt, won’t let him.

Another super cute fluffy fic!!! i just found this author and the fluff is just so amazingly written and not cliche at all and ugh. JK acts like he’s all suave but he’s really just a big softie and AH. 

friday nights (with you) by kstorms | Words: 24k |  How a random night at a karaoke bar leaves Jimin with two new friends and a frowny, terribly handsome crush.

Anther classic tbh. I think I’ve read this through like four or five times bc i have literally no life and enjoy this VERY well written humor. There’s like zero angst in this and it’s all mostly Taehyung being a very cute little shit to JK (KM is there obvs and they super cute but ya know). Def a must read.

competency at its highest potency by MauveTarte | Words: 10k | State-Sponsored Runs are the excitement of every Alpha and Omega youth.

Or,

Jimin has one final chance at this bonding thing before his life goes to shit.

the one and only ABO fic i’ve read with NO SMUT. that’s right, ya heathens! this one is solely plot driven (and super fluffy). It’s cute af and Taehyung is an amazing friend :)

(my heart beats) for you by sabotagemyheart | Words: 17k | In which Jungkook, as a child, befriends the exceptionally adorable, small and friendless Jimin, not knowing that after a few years, he’ll be wrecking this very boy underneath himself making him whimper out his name.

okay LISTEnn. This summary makes this fic sound a lot dirtier than it is (ok yes it’s smutty BUT there’s more fluff in this than anything else. its so so so cute.)

Mostly Smutty Fics

Studio 2 by Charmander | Words: 20k WIP | Somewhere along the way, Jimin lost that passion he used to pour into his art, watching as it slipped through his very fingers. But street kid Jungkook is all heart and soul, and he’s more than willing to help Jimin learn to burn with the same fire he carries inside himself.

okay so this one is very plot heavy (as is most of Charmander’s fics) so don’t think you’re getting JUST smut. it has an amazing storyline about sexuality struggles and i think a lot of you would enjoy it! (the smut is bomb af tho sooo) 

Starstruck by SugaTheTurtle | Words: 5k |  Everyone is attracted to idols at one point or another. As part of Big Hit’s staff, Jimin really shouldn’t still be as attracted to Jungkook as he was at the beginning. Maybe if he wasn’t he wouldn’t be stuck hiding inside a closet in his dressing room silently praying that the idol was reaching for the zipper on his pants to change into something more comfortable.

ALRIGHTY HERE WE GO LADIES AND GENTS. This is for all you kinky fuckers out there who love pure smut. It was very interesting at first but as it progressed i was like whoaoaa i need some holy water. this fic is the epitome of “well, that escalated quickly” (but it’s still not rushed ??? which like...how?) enjoy! lmao.

Interlude by Bunbungee | Words: 9k | Jungkook has fallen in love at first listen with Jimin’s interlude and he won’t stop until he finds out why he is reacting so strongly to it. His search for answers takes a new turn when, one night, he discovers just how much the song can affect him.

Okay this was smutty, but still SUPER CUTE bc jeon is his typical shy bunny self who’s super oblivious and jimin is just a sweetheart. looooove.

Wet Depths by WorldwideWriter | Words: 10k | All it takes for Jungkook to break is a slightly unfair swimming competition and a too seductive Jimin.

GIVE ME ALL THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS FICS hell yes. I love their dynamic in this one, they hate each other (but they really don’t lol like come on.) and the sexual tension is insane.

everybody’s watching him, but he’s looking at you by jonghyunslisterine | Words: 6k|   In which Jimin formulates a three-step plan to get the hot bouncer to notice him. (Spoiler: it doesn’t go quite as expected.)

okay this is smutty but also super cute so like idk where to put it but jimin wears a thong in it so i think the smut category will suffice. a quick read but so worth it, JK is a lowkey sweetheart.

Blood & Chocolate by MyHope (CutesyMe) | Words: 35k | “What if I only want you to sit on my lap?” the stranger asks, which is an odd request. People always want Jimin to dance for them. Only sometimes do they ask of him to just sit on their lap but event hen he has to move in some way and not just sit still.

“Same price,” Jimin retorts.

Jungkook spreads his legs slightly and motions to his lap as if it’s the best seat that has ever been offered to Jimin. “Be my guest.”

so i don’t really know what to say here but i loved their dynamic in this fic?? i love the way JK treats JM in this ahhhh its SMUTTY AF but he still super sweet and protective.  There’s sooooome angst but it’s not too bad. Good plot.

New Heights by Charmander | Words 11k| There’s no better way to remind yourself that you’re alive than tempting fate from 700 meters above the ground and the searing touch of another’s fingers dragging down your chest.

1000% my favorite smut fic out there. the dialogue written in this fic is so well-done and absolutely hilarious. Sexual tension is CRAZY. love his fics.

give in to the game by cherrygloss | Words: 23k | “Jimin, if you honestly think that I’m going to pretend to be your boyfriend so you can make your ex jealous, then you’re out of your mind.”

im s oRRY, i know this is mostly smut aljfdlkaldfj my thirsty ass has bookmarked so many smut fics but i can’t help it oof. but this is super cute smut with some feeliins.

Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin by decompositionbooks | Words: 34k | The world didn’t think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin’s handbook to dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.

WOOH another classic! I live for jealous/protective!JK idk its just super cute. my fav ABO fic!!

two sides; same story by namjoone | Words: 12k | Okay, so maybe Jimin thinks his neighbor is hot.

A little.

Okay, maybe a lot.

haha ohhhh man i love mutual pining. they’re both totally dumb at the beginning of this and i live for it. also some hoottttttt ass smut. (bc i need jesus at this point)

Not a Girl by PinkBTS | Words: 8k | Jeongguk isn’t sure what he did in his previous life to deserve this but he probably screwed up big time...he’s kinda grateful though.

A story about Santa, assumptions and thick-rimmed glasses.

AHHHHH  this is so funny and awkward and hot and EVERYTHING. I live for frat!bangtan with my whole heart. 

Downpour by kikistiel (Kikai) | Words: 15k | Jimin doesn’t know what it is. But now, he’s not sure he’s ready for summer to be over just yet.

IM SCREAMING. This was almost poetically good (aka A+ writing oh my gerrrd). It’s kinda angsty too like a bit but its also so sweet i love it :( go read pls.

How to Seduce Your Dance Teacher by Jeon Jungkook by soranosuzu | Words: 5k | Currently there are a million thoughts racing through Jungkook’s brain, but two very prominent ones finally beat their way to the forefront of his mind. First, Jimin is hot as hell and Jungkook needs to find a way to get into his pants. Second (and maybe slightly more urgent than the first), Jungkook needs to find a way to prevent himself from popping a boner every time Jimin does that in the future and, more importantly, right now.

(aka AU in which Jungkook devises a plan to seduce his ridiculously hot dance teacher Jimin)

HELLL YEAH. that is all.

i like how desperate you seem (in the way you look at me) by fatal (cumrich) | Words: 71k WIP | Packs merge all the time. It’s survival, Jimin knows that, but what he’s not prepared for is the attention he’s getting from a certain Jeon Jungkook, the alpha’s son.

yeeesss we got some more ABO up in this biiiiihhcc. It’s not done yet, but i strongly urge you to read!! so goooood and the smut is A1.

Mostly Angst

The Bet by jonghyunslisterine | Words: 46k |  Where Jeon Jungkook makes a bet that he can get the notoriously single Park Jimin to sleep with him by the end of the semester. 

Needless to say, things don’t go exactly as planned.

Yes i had to include this lovely classic :) Still one of my favs and probably always will be *shrug*. I’m not usually an angst person but this is like the perfect dosage for me to handle lol. If you haven’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life honestly go do it lmao.

lost stars by pjungkook | Words: 25k | Park Jimin has another maknae in his life and Jeon Jungkook is completely losing it.

have you ever felt like your heart was being smushed under an eighteen wheeler and your chest was caving in? Yeah that was me during this fic. But it’s sososo good and i promise there’s still fluff (i cannot live through angst without fluff) so READ.

Falling for you again by Rose_gold715 | Words: 30k | Jungkook loses all memory of the last five years of his life.

Jimin is scared he will never love him again.

wow okay so this one was a tear-jerker. you sympathize with both JK and JM but you’re also sort of frustrated with them at the same time?? soso good, definitely give it a read.

serendipity (none of this is a coincidence) by nclnns | Words: 30k | Jimin feels like crying.

Because the boy -- Jeon Jungkook as he had learnt a week ago -- is the exact opposite of Jimin.

And he’s the person Jimin’s boyfriend has been cheating on him with.

or

In which Jimin finds out that Taehyung is cheating on him with a boy named Jeon Jungkook and in the quest to understand what went wrong, he ends up falling in love with said boy.

so i haven’t read this one in a few months but i remember it being one of the first KM fics i had ever bookmarked, so it must have hit me in some way. JK is a sweetie though from what i remember.

On Patrol by Ragi | Words: 129k| Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable. Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can’t seem to keep out of his life. Captain Kim finds comfort in his son’s homeroom teacher. 

Well, cops need some loving too, right?

Okay so this isn’t like suuuuper angsty but it’s also not smutty nor super fluffy either??? So idk where to put it but i think angst fits this most. I also laughed quite a bit during this so it has humor!! Tae is also like an 8 year-old kid LDJAFODJOA (ft. Sope and Namjin)

we’re not broken just bent by calipha | Words 16k | “You’ll die,” Jimin hisses and they’re so close now that his perfect illusion is broken. Jungkook can see his dark circles, can see Jimin’s lips, red and raw from biting.

“I did almost die in this house once, five years ago,” he whispers, watching as Jimin clenches his jaw but doesn’t look away. “I think I can handle more. I’m bigger and stronger now, see?” Jimin holds his gaze for two seconds before it tracks south to move down Jungkook���s body.

MY HARRY POTTER LOVIN ASS IS VERY SATISFIED. jimin is just a misunderstood bb and jungkook is trying SO HARD not to pine ajweklfkldf.

[fizzyhosh]

I was tagged by the beautiful @madforscamander

rules: answer the 21 questions then tag 21 people you want to get to know better

nickname: ash

height: 5'0 LMAO I'm so short

last movie I saw: Interstellar (literally just finished it with my bro)

last thing I googled: "thin deep fried tortilla with cheese" (bc I couldn't remember the name for empanada and my family thought I was taking about quesadillas and it was a full argument lmao)

favorite musician: if you know me, this is a difficult question but UHH Hippo Campus, Harry Styles, Rex Orange County, and Tom Rosenthal

song stuck in my head: 7 rings and the theme song from Up idk why

other blogs: @weasleyswizardweezes @beanboyharry

do I get asks?: pretty much only for requests which makes me emo I want friends :(

following: 67 ? I need more mutuals

amount of sleep: 3.5 HOURS HAHA (my sleep schedule is SO bad rn you have no idea)

lucky numbers: I don't really have any but I Ike odd numbers

what I am wearing: adidas sweatpants and a big hoodie

dream job: forensic psychologist

dream trip: Germany

play an instrument: I wish I still played piano but I play ukulele!

favorite songs: AGAIN. DIFFICULT QUESTION. I listen to like every genre I can't pick only a few!!!! (But currently probably Sunflower by Post Malone and Television/So Far So Good by Rex Orange County)

random fact: when I watch movies, I spend most of the time reading the imdb trivia section for the movie :))) (also I looooove movies and music)

describe yourself in aesthetic things: beige walls, scratchy vinyls, embroidered collars, fuzzy socks, tired puppies, sleeping in, buzzfeed quizzes, tucked-in shirts, silent laughter, stolen sweaters, anything yellow, and blasting music while driving at night with the windows down

I'm tagging: @coolepowersthings @elfenbensord @harrypotterimmaginaa @flowercrownchic @finnofamerica @stateofloveandvedder @s-riusblck @portkeys-and-prose @rochelle-the-ravenclaw @siriuslyimmoony @bluemadcnna @the-apple-princess @vulpecula-minor @gryffindorprincess379 @chlorineaddiction @onthebroadway @serenefreakgeek @puppycat714 @wolverinesbeer @alyenaaa @ceruleanrainblues @knowledgeisthebomb @marauderskeeper @havecourage-darling @sleep-i-ness @j-brielmalfoy @oceanaged @asktheanimagus @knreidy1 @itshelaodinsdottirbitch (everyone on any of my new tag lists bc I wanna get to know y'all better!!!!)

[thisislizheather]

Navigating November 2019

I love being in the middle of the holiday season. So many get togethers, fat-ass blankets are on the bed, the snow is on its way, presents are coming, I love it all. It’s finally time for reflection and to celebrate the entire year that has come and gone. It’s the best time of the damn year. So excited for December to start. Here’s what happened last month:

Chrissy Teigen started her own website and though I haven’t tried any of her recipes on it yet, I intend to soon. I’ll likely start with this Lemon & Walnut Pasta since it’s been pretty popular. One thing I do like so far about the site? The newsletter that she emails out. She gives restaurant recommendations in them, which I happen to love.

I rewatched The Game and it’s still as great as I remembered. Michael Douglas can do no wrong.

Quick question: does anyone ever change up their makeup routine? I want to and don’t know how. I’m thinking maybe I’ll go the YouTube-tutorials route, but they can be so boring. Any suggestions welcome. I do not want to watch James Charles. His face bothers me.

I tried the Hard Kombucha from Trader Joe’s and it’s absolutely nothing special at all. The regular non-alcoholic stuff is way tastier.

I rewatched Rosemary’s Baby (I first saw it as a teenager and did. not. enjoy. it.) and surprise surprise: adult-me didn’t enjoy it either. It’s just really frustrating to watch. Mia Farrow makes all these terrible decisions and her husband has sex with her when she’s unconscious (???) and it’s just a lot. Must remember to never watch again.

We bought a new couch! It’s been a very big deal.

The TWA Hotel just keeps getting cooler: they’re going to have an ice skating rink this winter.

Love this cartoon:

Above Photo: Elilis Rosen, The New Yorker

I tried the Staten Island-style pizza at Joe & Pat’s in the East Village and it was good, but nothing to write home about. Skinny pizza is skinny pizza.

We haven’t watched any old Twilight Zone episodes in forever, probably because we forgot about it but also maybe because I think we’ve already seen all the good ones. But we recently watched The Long Morrow episode (mainly because it’s mentioned in a Gilmore Girls episode where it’s noted how romantic this episode is supposed to be) and WOOF. It fucking blew! I was pissed. I should’ve known it would suck though because it was “Logan’s favourite episode.” Serves me right.

I tried these cauliflower crackers from ALDI and whoa. Greatest cracker. This was also the first time I’ve ever been to an ALDI and I was expecting a bit more, to be honest. It’s just a dumpy grocery store? Why all the caps?

I’ve been following this woman Arielle for a few years now and I like her a lot. She used to work for Buzzfeed and that’s where I’d first heard of her (don’t judge me) and now I just sort of like to keep up with her life and what she’s doing. Very sweet, likable person to follow. This sounds vague as hell, but I’m really just mentioning it here because I feel like it’s hard to come across good people to follow who don’t make you feel bad about your own life and are sort of inspiring.

You know how you’ll buy something that’s supposed to change your life and you use it for a week and then never again? Yeah, that’s me with every single thing on my dresser. ANYWAY, I’ve actually started to use the Origins GinZing Eye Cream every night for the past little while and it really works, I think. (God, this just reminded me that I need to start remembering to put on neck cream. I can’t remember where I heard someone say that no one cares about their neck when they’re young and then WHAM one day your neck looks like that of an elderly turkey.)

I really thought I wanted to buy this new Frozen Colourpop palette but then I realized that I actually only want that colour in the middle, soooo I might just get this Huda palette in Topaz instead. (Yeah, I just bought it.) I’m very in the mood to do holiday makeup this year.

I think I’ve decided that there are way better eyeliners out there than Fenty’s Flyliner. It sticks to your eyelashes so that a coat of mascara can’t go on smoothly! It sucks. There! I’ve said it! Still love the sponge, though.

I rewatched The Day After Tomorrow and I’ve gotta say… I love movies like these. Dante’s Peak. Twister. This one. Love watching the world get all fucked up. But really, did climate change WRITE this movie? It’s great.

I have been watching so much Living Single and maaaaaaaan, this show’s perfect. It’s funny, it’s got heart, it’s not a typical kind of sitcom, there are minimal white people, it’s got it all! Love it so much. Wish reruns were easier to find on TV.

Hulu is having a sale right now where it’s $2/per month for a year. Yeah, that can’t be right. Check it out, might be worth it. Sale ends Monday December 2nd.

I am in love with these socks I got from Express. Love a smooth, soft sock in the wintertime.

I posted about my trip to New Orleans last month.

I made this Melt In Your Mouth Chicken and it was actually pretty good. Never would’ve even thought about coating chicken in yogurt.

I rewatched Big and of course I love this movie, it’s got a wish-granting robot machine in it. I should’ve wrote this damn movie!

Words can’t fully describe how much I love the Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas themed episodes of Bob’s Burgers. They’re always the best.

I watched Rumble in the Bronx and wow. Just a fun movie. Best part is by far the moment he launches a toddler out of harm’s way.

I went to Mister Paradise in the East Village and I’m sorry, it’s too expensive to drink in public these days. It’s nuts. One drink should never cost more than $15, have we all gone insane to silently agree to these parameters? And if you’re advertising “fancy sauce” for your fries, it better not be fucking ketchup mixed with mayo. That is some bullshit.

I finished Lindy West’s new book The Witches Are Coming and wrote a post about my favourite parts from it.

I watched True Lies and holy shit, a lot happens in this movie. In a good way. Fun watch.

I tried a sample of this Belief cream and it is luxurious as hell. Feels like it might be the perfect neck cream, too. You know, if you’re looking for that kind of thing (YOU SHOULD BE).

So I watched the Mr. Rogers movie with Tom Hanks and it’s just an unnecessary movie. I’m not hating on Tom Hanks, he’s fine in it (although he looks nothing like the man, it isn’t a good impersonation, the story doesn’t need to be told, ETC.) but it really just didn’t need to be made. A great Mr. Rogers movie already exists. They already did it! That being said, I teared up whenever any of the Mr. Rogers songs were sung. I can’t NOT cry at those songs, I’ve got a beating heart, don’t I?

So when I did Nathan’s podcast earlier this month, we talked briefly about going vegan for a week (we watched The Game Changers documentary) and we did it and now our lives are changed. Hahah, no no no, but that’d be wild. It was a hard week to do (mostly to cut out the dairy) but it did feel really good, so we’re going to try to limit meat and dairy much more strictly and see where that takes us. I promise not to talk about this for the rest of time.

I tried Trader Joe’s Vegan Mozzarella and holy hell, it was bad. Tasted like cooked plastic. Returned it immediately.

In contrast, their vegan butter was really, really good and a great substitution for regular butter.

I will forever love and miss In Living Color.

In true November fashion, I had my Thanksgiving croissant from Momofuku Milk Bar and I got it at their new flagship store in the city that is huge. They also had (vegan) apple pie soft serve that was insanely good and the seasonal pumpkin dulce de leche truffles they have right now are amazing. And the flagship location accepts cash! This better be the start of all the damn locations accepting cash. Don’t GET ME STARTED on places not accepting human cash.

Some thoughts on how to have a cheaper Christmas.

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going to attempt to make (rather than buy) some of the Christmas gifts I’ve giving this year but we’ll see if this actually pans out, I’m awaiting Jenny Slate’s new book from the library, I definitely have to find time to watch Krampus, putting up the (real) Christmas tree since this is the first year we’re getting a normal, adult sized one, the first day of snow is apparently tomorrow (in NYC) and I’m in looooove with the fact that it’ll also be December 1st when this happens, taking the family Christmas card, I have an obligation to make these Nutella cookies, and I will definitely watch a few of these. Santa, get your ass over here!

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in October over here!

[derrickperegrine]

📕🐉 L O V E your blog, and also I don't follow directions like a twat. I looooove to read and write; I'm basically really into drama and performance arts (just cried over an episode of So You Think You Can Dance) -- I prefer staying up drinking with close friends instead of partying all night long. Super ambitious about what I want and I do my best to get what I want. According to JK my patronus is a swan and I love Charms + Transfiguration + all food. literally all kindsa food.

ahh thank you so much!! and haha dw it’s cool

best classes:

mythological herbology: the study of plants in magical myths and legends, such as the goddess iðunn’s apples and the lotus trees in homer’s the odyssey

permanent transfiguration: advanced transfiguration course that teaches permanent transformations. only highly responsible and students are allowed to take this class for fear of consequences

illusion charms: charms class that teaches students how to cast elaborate illusions, disguises, and covers to both distract attention and evade scrutiny

worst classes:

summoning magic: a branch of defense against the dark arts that concerns allying with magic sentient beings to defend against greater evils in a common environment

rune-making: an advanced runes class that teaches students to craft their own runes and sigils based on their experiences with runes

elective courses:

show-dueling: half-dueling half-performance, this class teaches students to crush their opponents with skill but also to dazzle the onlookers with elaborate spells

alchemical transfiguration: combining alchemy and transfiguration, this class teaches students to brew transfiguration spells into potions that they can drink for instantaneous, silent, and long-lasting transfigurations

extracurricular activities:

durmstrang drama club: schedules and puts on performances of both classic wizarding plays and students’ original creations

quidditch: this one is self-explanatory

additional duties:

head girl: this one is self-explanatory

captain of the durmstrang quidditch team: this one is self-explanatory

favourite haunts:

durmstrang airspace: flying is allowed in any part of durmstrang, but the best place to fly is directly above the entire school, the wind pulling against you as you hover above durmstrang’s dozen of buildings, dark forest, and sea shore

the common hall: a large hall with roaring flames, mahogany and leather furniture, and fur throws where durmstrang students can chill, read, or have a mug of mulled mead with their friends

pet: eurasian eagle owlshort drabble:

a corridor of red robes that churn and twist like an uneasy sea of unspilt blood. hungry smiles and hungry words, floating into the air and causing your heart to tug with desire. heads held high, sharp jaws catching the slanting morning sunlight like a shine against a blade’s edge. this is durmstrang. a school for the wanting, a school forged from determination, a school full of protagonists.

there’s always something spectacular happening at durmstrang – whether it’s the latest spat to occur in this school of alphas, a perfect demonstration performed in class, or the latest prank pulled by the infamous quidditch team – and there is never a single boring moment. durmstrang is always a school of excitement, neatly tamed behind a suit of red wool and warm fur; the hidden teeth behind a polite smile. this is what magic ought to be – promise, movement, brilliance.

lights, camera, action. put on your game face, wave at the audience, and put your best foot forward. the world is watching you, durmstrang, and you sure as hell are going to make it worth their attention. they’ll be on the edge of their seat, terrified with rapture, by the end of your performance. remind them that you are a beautiful thing; but behind your control a wildness crouches and waits, ready to pounce at any moment.

song: strom by die toten hosen

reb celebrates 750 no more please

[h-eckers]

Confession

A/N: I strayed away from the request a bit just to follow a story line that I didn’t really plan, tbh (it just happened, I’m srry). I also switched up my style majorly for this just as an exercise, it’s in 3rd person and all but lemme know what you think and whether this is better, worse, or somewhere in between.

Request:  could you write about Jughead getting a call that the reader just got shitfaced at a party so he has to come get her and take care of her 

Word Count: 3,790 (whoops)

Warnings: Alcohol, swearing (lyk twice)

Confession. A single word somehow holding a million unspoken admissions. Everyone has something they want to confess, no matter if it be small and insignificant, or whether it be something so monumental and with such a great impact is shakes the world as you know it. No one is free of secrets, some they will never tell, and some they don’t want to keep.  Depending on who you were, it was either fortunate or dangerously unfortunate that in Riverdale, secrets weren’t secrets for long.

It was 2:13am, moments were passing by in seconds as he became absorbed in the latest information, the new instalment of his murder mystery. It was rendered all the more important now he had been called in as a suspect, and subsequently been lied for. It wasn’t just his neck on the line if this killer slipped by, Fred and Archie we’re in danger too, and that was unacceptable to him. So he sat in the dark, having commandeered Archie’s bed, typing out the words running through his mind at a speed almost faster than light, with laser focus.

Focus that was apparently dependant on lack of distraction, it shattered the moment his phone started buzzing against the bedside table, vibrating closer to the edge. He ignored it, let it ring out… The first time.

And the second.

And the third. 

On the first called, when the vibration started he stared at the three words he’d forced out since the first call had broken his concentration and growled. He reached over and snatched his mobile from the table top, pushing his laptop to the side.

4 missed calls  12 text messages  2 voicemails  All from Archie.

Jughead sighed in frustration, an evening spent crafting a novel wasn’t what his friends considered thrilling on a Saturday and so they’d all attended a party at Reggie’s house. As if the very term ‘party’ wasn’t enough of a turn off, the fact that it was at the home of his tormentor had been the final nail in the coffin for Jughead to decide he was, definitively, not going- much to the disdain of his friends.

Not that his concrete decision had deterred his friends from attempting to convince him into attendance, a plight that had continue even tonight, on the night of the party. They’d even pestered him a few hours into the parties commencement, but that had all stopped well before 11 and had only now re-emerged, with all 12 messages being some misspelled variation of “come to the party”. He assumed some high level of alcohol consumption had contributed to the sudden eagerness of his friend to force him out of the house. Still, with his concentration all but non-existent now, he played the first voice mail. 

“JUGGIEJUGGIEJUGGIE!!!” The deafening volume of the voice made him flinch, but what struck him most was that it wasn’t the voice of his childhood playmate Archie, so much as it was the drunken shrieking of someone he had never expected, “IT’S, UH, Y/N. YOU KNOW Y/N! I STOLE ARCHIEKIN’S PHONE BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO TEXT BETTY AND I SAID ‘NO, NO, NO’ BECAUSE I KNOW THAT’S A BAD IDEA BECAUSE I KNOW SHE USED TO BE IN LOOOOOVE WITH HIM!” she sung loudly into the receiver, her voice bubbling with intoxication. “SO HERE I AM, ON HIS PHONE, TALKING TO YOU MISTER JONES BECAUSE I WANTED TO AND YOUR NUMBER WAS FIRST!  BUT ANYWAY I WANTED TO TELL YOU THA-” The line went silent as the message timed out. Jughead sat in complete and unadulterated confusion as he tried to figure it out. Y/N hated him, as far as he could tell, and even a person as unobservant as Archie had pointed it out before. As far as the boy could remember, he’d done nothing to deserve her distaste but every interaction he’d had with her, however short, had ended in her rudeness and him walking away dumbfounded. So, why on earth had she called him, and what could she possibly have to tell him? And most importantly, when did she start calling him ‘Juggie’?

Both questions had him immediately playing the second messages for answers, “Juggie, can you please answer the phone.” Her voice had changed, the calls were two minutes apart and the tone of her voice had jumped from an elevated carelessness to something quiet and almost fearful. What prompted even further questioning was the fact that the message ended there, simple and enigmatic as this girl was mounting to be, when an hour ago he would believe that she simply hated him.

One thing was sure, no matter how she felt about him or how he felt about her, after the final message, he needed to make sure she was at least okay. He redialled the number, standing to pace the small room as he waited for an answer, and soon enough he received one. “JUG!” Archie’s voice was slurred and abrupt, again causing the raven haired boy to flinch away from his phone, “What’s up?!”

“Y/N called me from your phone.” He explained, slowing his words ever so slightly to be clear enough for his friend to understand through his inebriation, “She sounded upset, is she okay?”

“Y/N called you?” Archie snickered slightly, “That’s so weird because I was sure that she just hated you, like really really loathed you, like absolutely-”

“Yeah, I get it, Arch.” Jughead cut him off, sounding slightly frustrated by the red head.

“Right, well, she’s shitfaced, basically and now she’s dancing on a table singing Beyoncé, oh… Oh she took her shirt off.” He replied, slurring every word over a single syllable, “Can you come get her? I think she’s ready to go home.” He giggled quietly, he didn’t wait for a response from Jughead, and the line went dead as soon as he’d finished the question. 

“I guess so.” Jughead sighed heavily, staring at himself in the darkened screen of his phone, he was in his pyjamas, his hair was a mess from his fingers combing through it every five seconds to keep it from falling into his face, and he decided that he wouldn’t change however, she’d probably be too drunk to care anyway.

So at 2:45am Jughead Jones staggered downstairs and grabbed the keys to Fred’s truck from the counter, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relieve some of the tension in his back. It was freezing, it had been bleak weather at best for weeks and this night was no different, the cold mist that fell before rain stuck to his skin as soon as he walked outside and in the few steps it took to get to the truck he was already chilled to his bones. He started the engine and sat in the car for a while, breathing deeply as the heater kicked in and started to warm him, by the time he pulled out of the driveway he’d warmed up again but the tiredness that had been creeping up on him for hours was setting in with the warmth. 

The drive between Archie’s house and Reggie’s was surprisingly lengthy, or perhaps it was the late hour and the sleepy haze that was setting in on the writer, either way he arrived eventually and stopped outside. He could hear the music shaking the floor boards of the house, the sound flowing from what seemed to be an over excessive amount of speakers. There were a few drunken teenagers milling around on the front lawn, smoking, or talking, or emptying their stomachs after one to many shots.

Did he want to walk into the house right now? Definitely not.

Was he going to? Unfortunately yes.

And why? All for the sake of a girl he didn’t know and who didn’t like him.

As he approached, the music only get louder and louder, the smell of alcohol became near overpowering, and the heat of too many bodies crammed into one space washed over him as he opened the door to the crowded living room. Almost every person from the school that he could remember seeing was jammed into that space, dancing against each other, it might have looked fun if it didn’t look so depraved. He tried to locate Y/N before entering the crowd and when he did he couldn’t decide whether it was a good or bad thing, on one had she was easy to spot and she wasn’t dancing against anyone he’d have to pull her away from, on the other hand, she was dancing on a table in a shirt jersey that wasn’t hers. Great.

Weaving through the familiar bodies, he got halfway to her and got blocked by a couple who couldn’t seem to breathe without their lips attached, he stood idle in the sea of people, his eyes glued to her swaying figure so he didn’t lose her in the crowd. Or at least that was part of the reason. If he were to be entirely truthful (which he would admit he never really was), he would admit that he’d be observing her for a while now, if you asked him why he’d give the same reason he gave for observing anyone; Jason blossom, but that wouldn’t explain the way he’d always gravitated towards her before he ever disappeared. How unfortunate that the girl that had interested him for so long, also happened to be someone who despised him. Her treatment of him didn’t enter his mind now, however, as he watched her swing her hips to the beat of an unknown song that was playing too loud, her hair was wild and so were her eyes as she swayed and sang to the ceiling like the gods were listening. For anyone else he’d be certain they weren’t listening, but for her, they might.

He was removed from his little trance when someone pushed passed him, almost knocking him into several other people who honestly wouldn’t have cared, but it distracted him enough to allow him to keep pushing through people to get the edge of the table where she was dancing, “Y/N!” He was sure his voice was being drowned out by the music, he reached out and grabbed her hand gently as it moved by him, and she looked down and smiled so bright the room must have gotten three times brighter.

“Juggie!” She called over the music, getting down off the table rather ungracefully, stumbling as soon as her feet his the ground, her only stability coming from the boy in front of her, his arms around her waist to keep her upright, “You’re stronger than you look.” She complimented, tapping the end of his nose softly with one finger as he’d already started heading towards the door, his hand finding hers to pull her towards the exit.

There wasn’t a response from him, all his focus was on getting himself and her out of there uninjured and moderately unscathed, she seemed to be walking okay behind him but as soon as they were outside he turned to her, concerned eyes tracing every feature of her to make sure she was okay. “Are you alright?” He asked, lifting her arms to check she was okay.

“I’m fine.” Her voice was quiet and gentle now, away from the music and the people, he smiled involuntarily. Jughead had never heard her voice quite like that, he liked it on her.

“Come on, let’s go.” He mumbled, taking her hand again and leading her away towards Fred’s truck.

“Car theft,” she said simply, smirking a little as she climbed into the vehicle and snuggled comfortably into the seat, Jughead jumped in the other side, looking over at her drunk and tired eyes, “and all for me? What a gentleman you are.” She whispered, his breath caught slightly in his throat and his heart did something odd in his chest as he tried to respond. He didn’t. He simply started the car and pulled out on to the empty road.

“Where do you live?” He asked, shifting nervously in his seat.

“The next street over from Archie’s,” She responded, distant, in her own world, or, in other words, completely drunk, “all the way at the end of the street, in the white house with the big dark roof and the little red door.” She sung to herself, her attention focused out the window.

“Are you feeling alrig-“ He began, but she cut him off, speaking again in her distant gentle voice that he was beginning to really like.

“Everything goes so fast,” She hummed, tracing her name in the fog on the window, “nothing ever slows down to let you catch up, and you end up running so fast breathing feels like sandpaper in your lungs because you just want to catch up and you cant. So, you stop, and you try to breathe and you get swept away into something you never wanted, but the currents so strong you can’t fight it, even if it means letting go of something important.”

After her voice trailed off, silence settled in around them quickly, she kept staring at the road disappearing behind them quicker every moment, and he tried to adjust to her words. It was becoming increasingly difficult to see her as the girl who hated him, and easier to fall into how he’d always seen her; beautiful, hopeless, and endlessly fascinating. “I don’t hate you.” Her voice broke the silence and he looked over at her momentarily, this time she was looking back, a gentle smile on her face.

“You sure?” He chuckled, looking back at the road, “You really seem to, and I don’t think we’ve ever had a conversation before this where you weren’t rude to me.”

“It’s because I like you.” She responded, genuinely.

“You have a weird way of showing it.” He pointed out, scoffing slightly. She only nodded in response, because it was true.

“That’s because I also hate you.” She mumbled, shuffling down in her seat.

“So we’re being confusing tonight, I see.”

“It’s the alcohol,” she argued, “I’m usually very concise, and generally secretive. If it weren’t for that last drink, I doubt I’d even have called you.”

“So, you like me but you hate me?” He inquired, glancing again to her with a raised eyebrow and a gentle smile, they spoke in hushed voices, as though being too loud would split the very earth in front of them.

“I do,” She confirmed, hiccupping softly, “I’ve had a crush on you since the second grade and it never went away, but you intimidate me.”

“Well, I’m an investigative writer,” he sighed again, his shoulders falling as he exhaled, “intimidating is in bold print at the top of the job description.”

“You mean your little blue and gold thing?” She giggled, “No, not that, I think that’s kinda sexy, you’re so demanding.” Jughead almost choked on the air he was breathing right there, but he managed to at least appear unaffected, “No, I meant just you, actually you, like your novel and all the things you are. I’m a bitch to you because if you think I hate you then you’ll leave me to wallow in my self-pity because I’m not good enough for you.”

You intimidate me because you’re smart, and you’re strong, and you’re so fucking gorgeous and I just- I forget how to function around you unless I’m off my face drunk apparently. I can promise I wouldn’t be saying any of this if I’d remember it in the morning. I won’t though, so it’s okay.“

He couldn’t speak, the words weren’t forming in his head the way they we’re meant to, the right sentence would appear and then vanish the moment he opened his mouth to utter it. “God, is this how you feel all the time.” He finally gushed, the words weren’t at all what he wanted to say but they we’re something, “Like stringing words into sentences is basically impossible? I’m a writer and I can’t find the words, I do this to you?”

“Worse.” She stated, simple and absolutely shattering, he couldn’t imagine being rendered this way by a person at all ten minutes ago but he sat bewildered and incompetent right now, wondering how she suffered this every single day. “I’m a photographer, and the best way I can describe it is that I’m pressing the button but the shutter won’t click and when it finally does the pictures blurry. I can hear the words in my head, but I can’t say them, something rude or defensive falls out instead. It sucks.”

It astounded him to find out that this woman beside him, spoke so eloquently and somehow only alcohol could calm her nerves enough for him to see that. Even now he could see the anxious lines forming on her face as the silence stretched between them, the doubt crept up on her even now and he was grasping for something to say yet again. It was a feeling he hated, words came so simply and lyrically to him that fighting for what to say just felt unnatural, and he was teetering the edge of saying what he wanted to, and saying what was appropriate. “I write about you sometimes.” He blurted out on an exhale, almost flinching at the sound of his own voice.

“You write about everyone,” she hummed, “enigmatic bitch is basically a stock character in murder mysteries. I’m just filling the character profile.”

“No, completely separate from that.” He admitted, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles drained of colour, this is one confession he’d never planned to come to light, but at least she wouldn’t remember it in the morning, “Early last year, before Jason, I looked at you and I realised I had seen you almost every single day of my life since I was five years old and somehow I knew nothing about you. So I tried to talk to you, but you weren’t exactly welcoming that idea.” He chuckled a little and she smiled at him. 

“So?” She prompted him to continue, and he did.

“So, I started writing about you, I started digging, investigating. I wanted to know who you we’re and I dug deeper and deeper.”

“And what did you find?”

“Nothing,” he sounded defeated even now, “everything down to your school records are clean. You were the first thing I couldn’t figure out, but the weird part was I didn’t mind, because it meant I could keep looking.” He paused, the blushing girl beside him was unable to still her heart that was almost pounding out of her chest, “Then everything happened with Jason and I got interested and it fell to the side, but I go back to you whenever I get stuck.”

“What will you do now?” She asked softly, “Now that I’ve told you, I’m not a mystery anymore. Where will you go when you get stuck?”

By the time she’d finished speaking they’d pulled up outside her house, the one with the red door exactly as she’d described and the conversation ended, ended without answer, not necessarily because either of them wanted it to end but simply because she was home, and he had no idea how to answer that question. Jughead pulled himself out of the car and walked around to her door, opening it for her and helping her out, they wandered up the path slowly, his arm around her waist to steady her as she staggered slightly. “Are your parents’ home?” he asked quietly, brushing her hair back out of her face as she nodded.

“Yup, right upstairs, probably dreaming of a less dysfunctional marriage.” She shrugged and he chuckled a little.

“You good to get to your room? Seems like you’ve sobered up a bit.” He added and she giggled.

“I am good to get to my room and I’m talking to you right now so, no, I’m not sober at all.” She deducted quickly, nodding once.

“Maybe you’re just getting comfortable around me.” He suggested and she shook her head.

“No, I’m not gonna remember this at all in the morning, I am drunk as a skunk and I can promise you that, Mister Jones.” She ran her hands through her dishevelled hair in an attempt to tame it.

“Do you promise?” his voice got low for a moment and he stepped forward, she didn’t move, let him get closer to her.

“I swear.” She nodded once.

“Good.” He whispered, leaning in and joining their lips softly. Her reaction was instant, her hands moved to the side of his neck, thumbs running softly along his jawline as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into him. It felt like the world stopped existing, just for a second, his entire world became her and hers became him and it was perfect. It felt perfect and it ended too quickly, she pulled away from him and smiled as she stepped back, leaning against her door.

“I wish I didn’t have to forget this.” She hummed, smiling pleasantly. His brow furrowed in a slight frustration and something close to concern. She unlocked the door after fumbling with the key for a moment and opened it slowly and as quietly as possible.

“I could always remind you.” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as she sighed and wandered into the house a few steps, leaning against the door she was still holding.

“As much as I would love that, I would never believe you.” She mumbled, a humourless smirk crossing her face, “Thank you for coming to get me, and for the talk, and the kiss. I’ll miss you.” She hummed, blowing him a kiss and shutting the door so she could stagger up the stairs. He walked away from her house speechless again and smiling to himself.

Somehow this night had answered so many of his questions and yet it had raised a million new ones, his heart wouldn’t beat normally even if he tried to force it and all over a girl who wouldn’t even remember in the morning. As he got back into the truck, he sighed heavily and relaxed into the seat and just sat for a moment, thinking.

Secrets can be a dangerous thing, and confessions even more so. There are somethings that need to be said but can’t be, and there are other things that shouldn’t be revealed that are forced into the light. Now, Jughead Jones was plagued by another secret he’d never intended to have; if there was one thing in the world that he wanted, he wanted her to remember.

The next morning Y/N would awake to a new secret of her own; she did.