#i also like that they kind of look like mugshots

[catominor]

an assortment of Guys for you to peruse at your leisure (and cicero is there)

From Fittschen, Klaus, Paul Zanker, Petra Cain, and Gisela Fittschen-Badura. Katalog der römischen Porträts in den Capitolinischen Museen und den anderen kommunalen Sammlungen der Stadt Rom. Band 2, Die männlichen Privatporträts. Berlin: De Gruyter, 2010.

[ultrafangirlishness]

The Barbie Movie.

A small, non-comprehensive list of things that stood out to me (spoilers? Kind of?)

The soundtrack

All the jokes that played off of what it was actually like to play with barbies (the pool & ocean being flat, the cups having no drinks in them, the shower having no water, etc.

TRANS BARBIE

The choreography

The "I Am Kenough" tie-dye sweater

Barbies of many shapes and sizes! All very beautiful!

THE ENDING, OH MA LORD. Both the way the story concluded really beautifully, but also the ending joke that no one was prepared for—

Just... everything about Ryan Gosling's performance

Kate McKinnon playing the deranged, "ugly" Barbie

In the same vein, that movie would NOT have been complete without representing the kids who played with their dolls "too hard" (cutting their hair, bending them in weird ways, etc.)

Acknowledging that Barbie did in fact mean a lot to some girls. This movie was geared towards everyone, whether you grew up loving Barbie or hating her.

The mom and her daughter

The fact that when Barbie was starting to become "defective" and/or when she was in the real world, you could start to see her ""flaws"". Like I noticed in some scenes her eyebrows were unplucked and no longer perfectly sculpted, or her skin no longer perfectly smooth with foundation.

It was clear that SO much thought and research was put into this. I couldn't believe how many references there were to specific clothing items, certain playsets, etc.

The fact that Barbie and Ken DIDN'T end up together, and that Barbie DIDN'T indulge Ken in his flirtations (is that a word?) even once

THE FACT THAT I WAS SO CLOSE TO ACTUAL TEARS LIKE SEVEN TIMES???? LIKE WHAT????

The weird dark humor coming out of nowhere

The fact that Barbie never once looked at the human women (who were "imperfect" in comparison to her) with disgust

......the moment between her and the woman on the bench 😭😭😭

The mom's rant about how hard it is being a woman (esp a mother) and how you can never win 🙌🙏

The misogyny in the Real World was so well done. It wasn't overexaggated or over the top it was just NORMAL EVERYDAY LIFE

THE JOKE ABOUT HAVING A MAN SIT YOU DOWN TO TALK ABOUT THE GODFATHER ASDJGKDLW

The moment where I went "OH so THAT'S where the mugshot memes came from"

Ruth Handler <3

The fact that everyone came to the theater dressed either in pink or Barbie-like attire :)

[male-us-prison-experience]

WELCOME IN MY PRISON - THE ONLY ONE THAT OFFERS ALL PLEASURES OF ALL AMERICAN PENITENTIARIES TOGETHER

After that fatal car crash, causing serious traffic victims, it always starts with arrest and being handcuffed at your back. Then you're driven to the police station. There follows the intake, the body search, the mugshot, the inevitable alcohol test and finally the finger prints.

As the test is positive your brandnew prison uniform, a simple nice black and white striped jumpsuit, to be closed with just six shiny snap buttons at the front, is already waiting for you, one of the kind you will have to wear from now on for many years to come - as is the barred bare cell with just a bed of cold steel, a stool made of the same stuff and a toilet, to spend your first night locked up and think all over....

Your beautiful new villain suit will only be taken off from now on when you have to shower, together with other prisoners. You better prepare yourself for that too: in prison we don't do privacy. The first time you will hesitate to undress in the presence of others just as much as that shy new inmate on the right, but that will soon be over, i promise you.

You soon will learn to wear your striking prison stripes always and everywhere. No separate trousers and shirt for you anymore, just a jumpsuit. And you soon will learn that you have to dress yourself properly once you're out of your bed , so to button up that jumpsuit always and everywhere completely, all six snaps up to the last one just under your chin. If not, the police officers will learn you to do so.

You also soon will get used to the fact that this is just how you will look henceforth, that your visiting family will see you dressed like this. No, there will not be any exceptions to that rule in the future. You soon will discover that your prison uniform has only one small pocket, on your left chest, and none further down as your pants once had. As you will never need cash money in the future again, this is sufficient for a pair of glasses, or perhaps a handkerchief. After all, the fewer pockets your jumpsuit possesses, the smaller the risk of any contraband.

Yes, from this moment on wearing solid steel handcuffs will become nearly inevitable as soon as you are somewhere outside your own cell. Safety comes first - at the police station they have their experience with new prisoners who suddenly go crazy and thus become violent.

A few days later you're already on your way to court for trial, in your new prison stripes clearly contrasting to the accompanying officers in their grey uniforms. Of course you're already since you left your cell in full restraints, shuffling along with difficulty in your uneasy leg irons, while your wrists in handcuffs are fixed to the frontal D-ring of a thick leather belt around your waist, with which the jailers lead you with firm a grip like some wild dog on the leash to the dock to get sentenced....

After your perp-walk in front of the eager local press and the curious public you enter the courtroom, where your lawyer pleads in vain for a conditional sentence on the grounds of mitigating circumstances. But the facts are clear and the sentence of the judge therefore is too.

You will have to spend many years in prison - which one, you don't hear yet. The next days, or perhaps weeks, you will stay in your cell at the local jail again. When you move back from the courtroom to the exit of the court-house, the sound of the rattling of your leg-irons, each time when the connecting chain hits the stone floor tiles of the corridor, sounds more ominous than ever. You will get used to them...

And now, first back to the county jail. Now you've been sentenced, you're aware that you indeed will have to wear this black and white striped prison jumpsuit the next years. And yes, because of that, on your way out of the courthouse those damned handcuffs also stay on.

Outside the prison van is already waiting for you. No, there is no chance to escape your fate. Too much police officers around, apart from your shackles - and your prison stripes, that will betray you. There is only one choice for you: to obey to the law and step inside.

And yes, this time, on your way back, you're not the only one in the prison van. As small as it is, there is space enough for two - or more...

Back in your cell at the county jail you've just to wait, till on some very early morning in the next days or weeks you're suddenly awakened and taken out for transport. The handcuffs and leg-irons you have to wear during the next hours already are waiting outside your cell. This time even a black box is added to your handcuffs, fixing them in an immovable way to the belly-chain padlocked at your back.

Outside, the special prison bus is already waiting for you. Inside that van, behind the driver's cabin, there is a lockable compartment for you and your fellow inmates, with bars on the windows. For the rest there are only very basic chairs on a steel floor. Now, you have a very long ride ahead of you, during which you will stay fully restrained the entire time. At no point will your shackles come off, that's strictly forbidden, not even allowed when you are given food and drink on the way, or have to piss, or when a short stop is made to pick up a couple of recently convicted inmates, already shackled, at the next county jail.

If you are unlucky, if you are considered a flight risk, you will not only have to wear the hand and foot cuffs that have already been put on you in advance, but you might also be chained to your place for the entire ride, presumably with your legs to a ring in the floor. As you can see, the necessary extra cuffing-equipment for this is already present in the bus in enough amounts to do so just behind the driver's seat.

It's a long drive of many hours from the small jail in your own county town to the huge isolated prison complex in the middle of nowhere. Then suddenly your new home for the next years comes into sight. The wires, the walls, the watch towers, al those frightening forbidding structures you can watch now for a couple of minutes through the windows of the prison van from the outside before it enters, make you immediately realize: once inside, there will be no way out.

And when the prison gate opens and the van finally drives into the court yard, you already catch a glimpse of the other inhabitants, all wearing exactly the same black and white striped prison uniform as you. You're not the only one here, that's for sure.... A new, harsh, unknown life with a lot of strict rules now lays ahead!

And when you are taken to your cell block for the first time, and you encounter a whole column of fellow prisoners while crossing the courtyard in your full restraints, you realize something else: outside of that cell block, your hands and feet will always be shackled for safety's sake, that fucking tight leather belt around your waist with those bloody handcuffs attached to it, will from now on become your standard equipment as soon as you leave it, heavy leg-irons included.

EXPERIENCE THE UNIQUE AMERICAN WAY OF PRISON LIFE!

I have started this new blog about one of my greatest phantasies: to experience a real American prison from the inside. After being transported to a huge state penitentiary of the maximum security category, surrounded by barbed wire, walls and moats, and the obligatory humiliating stripsearch immediately at arrival, a hidden severe world is welcoming all new inmates for many years to come, offering a lot of rest, partly to be spend in solitary confinement:

Barred cells, serious shackles, rattling chains, prison stripes and finally the famous chain gang - always secured in full restraints: that's the way i like it!

Well, and there is your cell, completely for your own, your home for the next years. Which one will be yours? Is your new neighbor already winking you? Will it be No.2, 4, 5, 6? They are all identical - in a good prison all inmates are treated equal, as they are all dressed the same, their individuality reduced to their identification number stamped on their plastic wristband and maybe printed on their new uniform too.

And then one of those cell-doors is opened for you, and you have to go inside. After your handcuffs and leg-irons are taken off, the guards leave your cell, the barred door is banged shut and you're left alone.

You're locked up now, and the only part of your captive body that you can now move past those damned iron bars of your cell by yourself are your hands. The rest remains inside and has to wait till the door will be unlocked again - next morning or next week or next month, or whenever, that's no longer up to you...

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Adrienne La Russa (Salvare la faccia, Beatrice Censi)—she's got kind of an anne hathaway thing going i think

Jane Fonda (Barbarella, Sunday in New York, Barefoot in the Park)—Feminist icon, LGBTQ+ rights activist since the 70s, Civil Rights and Native American rights advocate, environmentalist… she really is THE woman ever

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Adrienna La Russa propaganda:

Jane Fonda propaganda:

" I assume she's already been submitted but I gotta make sure. I think there's an element to movies like Barbarella or her segment of Spirit of the Dead of those having been directed by her husband, who famously made movies about her being hot, and the incredible costume design also helped, but good lord. Look at her"

"Her vibes in these movies are so interesting because she, the daughter of an Old Hollywood star, went on to make both poignant dramatic movies and the some of the silliest things you've ever seen but even in the silly space adventures and sexploitations there's always this undeniable gravitas to her. It's like she's able not to take herself very seriously but at the same time never stops having this grace and elegance and makes it all work together. And she's always been very politically active which is also sexy. Her famous mugshot is from 1970 so right at the cutoff mark but come on"

"She was so pretty, dear lord! She was and still us stunning. She’s great at comedy and drama."

"Shes so hot im so gay for me i will let her hit me with hers car"

"Watching her in Barefoot in the Park seriously made me, a straight woman, question things"

"Gorgeous and also still getting arrested at climate protests, which is sexy behavior"

"PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH"

[sinsinsininning]

First time sending a request😭 could I get a post time skip strawhat crews reaction to a reader who’s late to reunite with them, and turns out they were in Impel down but escaped?

Like they’re wondering where they are and Nami busts in showing an article in the newspaper about reader escaping?

Srry if this is confusing💀

Ay yo! My first request, Tumblr deleted my first draft of this so it’s a little rushed now sorry. I wrote this as more platonic but tbh it could be viewed as romantic with some characters if you really want to. I also wrote this with a gender neutral reader in mind and they/them pronouns. I made the reader kind of an explosion person just to justify some parts of the story.

This is very different from what I normally write so it was a great exercise! I hope you enjoy! ✨✨✨

~~~~

You were late.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary, just like Zoro was guaranteed to get lost and Luffy to eat all the food in sight, you were the perpetually late straw hat. It was basically your title at this point.

This was different though, the crew was gathering after being separated for 2 years and with the marines and enemy pirates closing in, it wasn’t the day for you to be behind schedule. Still the crew awaited you until the last moment, as they set off the allies they’d made while training came through to clear a path.

And you still weren’t here.

“Where are they?” Nami glared at the horizen, willing you to appear, the anger in her tone barely hid her worry.

“I’m not surprised, they’re always showing up last minute.” Ussop groused, folding his arms haughtily. “This time it’s gonna bite them in the ass and they’ll be left behind!”

“Don’t say that!” Chopper cried, trying to pull on Ussop’s arms to uncross them. As if that’d make you magically appear. “They’ll be here! They’re always here when it counts!” His tears fluster the sniper who turned away from him to hide it.

Nami and Chopper started arguing, slowly dividing the crew into two teams. Team ‘They’ll be here, have Faith’ and Team ‘They’ll get left out, get over it’. Sanji sided with Ussop and Nami because of course he’d side with her. While Brook and Franky sided with the optimistic Chopper, certain you’d arrive.

It was loud and a little annoying, but it kept the crew occupied for a while. At least enough to stop them from over hearing their Captain and First Mate.

“Captain.” Zoro said lowly, watching the others argue about your absence. “We have to keep going. We can’t wait much longer.” Luffy had a serious face for once, odd for Zoro to see.

“I’m not waiting, they’ll get here. I have no doubts they’ll be back.” He said with finality, his voice had gotten much deeper over the 2 year break. Zoro frowned, his faith in you not as solid as his Captain’s.

Robin approached her leaders, holding some papers out for Zoro to read.

“I only just had a moment to read these,” She said. “Shaky and Rayleigh gave them to me as we departed. I’m afraid our friend may be out of luck.”

Zoro gasped as he read, Luffy snatched the papers away to scan them quickly. The startled cry he let out was stifled by one of Robin’s many hands, appearing at the right time. The top page was your mugshot, grinning wildly at the camera while holding your inmate card. Other pages contain your latest bounty, some newspaper clippings of your crimes and capture, as well as some convoluted court documents. Zoro snatched the papers back, trying to make sense of everything.

“They’re in Impel Down? When?” He hissed.

“I’m not sure, it looks like they’ve been there nearly the entire 2 years we’ve been gone.”

“I was there though!” Luffy stretches his mouth from behind Robin’s hand. “I could’ve helped them!”

“It’s a large prison, Luffy. Plus who knows they may have been arrested after your jail break.” Robin tried to comfort him. “I’m sorry, but we can’t turn back now. The way back is blocked by the marines, we should go forward and figure out a plan when we arrive in the New World.” Luffy shook his head with a glare.

“No way, we can’t leave them for a second longer!” His shouting catches the crew’s attention, Robin and Zoro sigh before the green haired man tosses them the papers. “I’ve escaped the Impel Down once and I’ll do it again.”

As the crew root through the papers, crying out in worry at the contents. Luffy turns back towards Saboady, tips his hat back slightly to evaluate the scene behind him. The shouting of his crew and Zoro’s begs for practicality become background noise as he focuses on the carnage they’ll be returning to.

A glimmer on the horizen catches his eye, it’s an explosion. But unlike the others raging on, it seems to glow. He watches it for a moment, distracted by the unusual colors, it reminds him of what you usually wear, the same hue and intensity. He points to the spot, just as it fades another one just like it replaces it, only closer.

“Hey look.” He laughs, Zoro growls and whaps him on the head.

“Hey were you even listening?”

“Nah.” Luffy is at least honest, but his pointing has caught Robin’s attention as well.

“That’s strange, who could be causing that?” She asks and the rest of the crew gather as the dazzling explosions grow closer and closer. Like condensed fireworks.

“I bet it’s them!” Chopper cries out, gripping Robin’s skirt to dry his tears.

“No way, they’re in the worst prison ever! Even Luffy needed help escaping it and he has devil fruit powers!” Ussop argued, but his grip on the railing tightened.

“Whatever it is, it’s coming straight for us!” Sanji warns, shoving himself in front of Nami and Robin.

“He’s right!” Robin shouts as the explosions get closer, becoming larger and more deafening. “Everyone brace for a hit!”

As the crew tense for a strike, Zoro drawing 2 of his swords, Sanji preparing to jump, Chopper growing in size. The spectacular colors sail over them in a chaotic arc.

“Did…did it miss?” Zoro asked, stunned at the blooming display of colors and glitter fallout.

Just as he spoke, the crackling ball of hues lands on the lion head of the Sunny. Several crew members leap forward to strike the intruder, but as the illuminations die away, you stand up.

“You’re here!” Chopper cries again, rushing forward to hug you tightly. Franky and Nami rush to join him.

“Aw don’t tell me y’all were worried!” You grin.

You get passed around from crewmate to crewmate as everyone gets their greeting in. Nami holds your face to her chest as she exclaims her relief. Franky tries to show off his new hair before you’re yanked away. Sanji holds you to his chest as he tells you not to creep on his Nami-Swan. Brook cries out tears -somehow?- and begins strumming his guitar for you. Robin gently cradles your red face as she expresses her gratitude for your arrival. Ussop shakes you vigorously for scaring him both by your lateness and your latest -loudest- entrance. Chopper holds tightly to your back the entire time.

Finally you get deposited in front of Zoro and Luffy, who both grin down at you. Chopper is pulled off your back by Robin, finally. You leap up and hold onto both men’s necks as you cheer.

“Did you miss me?”

Luffy hugs you back even tighter and Zoro doesn’t struggle out of your affection for once.

“What the hell happened for you to end up at Impel Down?” Zoro asked as you let go of him to hold a sniffling Chopper once more.

“The warlord guy sent me to a small jail somewhere off the coast of Thriller Bark. I escaped and attempted to return to Saboady, but along the way I got captured by some human traffickers.” You began, rocking Chopper gently now as the crew gathered around you to listen. “On the boat in my cell I managed to make some bombs and break free.”

“Of course you did, you could make bombs outta toothpaste and sunflower seeds.” Ussop interrupted, a little jealous at your longstanding demolition prowess.

“Anyways, me and the other prisons staged a mutiny of the ship, but the captain intentionally crashed it so that we’d be trapped. The idiot didn’t realize it was on the shores of the worlds securest prison. So I got arrested with them since they recognized me and knew I had a bounty.” You laughed despite how horrified your crew seemed.

“When were you there?” Luffy asked, eyes intense as he watched you.

“Sorry Cap’.” You grin. “I was there a few weeks after you’d already escaped. Wish we could’ve busted out together, it would’ve been cool as hell.” He relaxed a bit, feeling less guilty about your imprisonment.

“Why didn’t you escape then?” Nami asked.

“It’s not so simple, honestly it takes a lot of luck and teamwork to manage that. After Luffy broke out, security increased a lot, at least from what I was told. I tried to stage an escape, but I’m not as charming as our captain so I didn’t get a lot of traction.” You continued.

“Heh sorry bout that.” Luffy grinned sheepishly.

“Not your fault, I guess I’m not a people person.”

“I could’ve told you that.” Ussop threw a loose screw at you, until Nami smacked his head with a scowl.

“Leave them alone!”

“So how did you manage to escape?” Robin asked. “And how were you able to fly in those explosions?”

“After my failed escape attempts, I got sent lower and lower in the jail until I was in level 5. Then I met up with Bentham!” You shouted.

“What?”

“Really?”

“That guy was in Impel Down?”

You basked in their reactions for moment until you glanced at your captain.

“He’s alive?” Luffy asked.

“Yup, told me to tell you hi.” You smirked, Luffy looked so relieved. “I’d gotten your message by then and was desperate to get stronger. He took me in as my mentor and trained with me. As for my escape, it’s a long story, but let’s just say I managed to make friends with the Jailer Beasts.”

“Woah! Really?!” Luffy was shocked, he’d never thought to try.

“Yup they and Bentham helped me escape. He stayed behind since he’s the new Queen after Ivan left, but he certainly helped me learn how to make a grand entrance.” You posed goofily, while your crew laughed.

“And the flying in sparkles?” Sanji asked.

“Technically not flying,” You said as you unbuckled your belt and thigh harness. There were several pouches there that were filled with sparkling little orbs, the same color as your explosions. “These are something I made by accident, I call them Star Tracers! If you crack the outer coating it creates a large explosion, but in the center it becomes very dense almost like a small stepping stone before it disintegrates completely. So I crack one, then throw it and jump into the cloud of sparkles and land on the step before repeating the process.”

“Wooooooah,” Ussop’s eyes sparkled at your invention. “How’d you manage that?”

“Not sure honestly, I think it’s a chemical reaction to the materials I use, but they’re all pretty common so it was easy to make a bunch. The steps are only tangible for a few moments, so I had to improve my speed, that’s why it looks like I’m flying.” You shrug and let Ussop look over the marbles as the crew starts excitedly speaking.

As the day starts to end and you’re sitting on the head of the Sunny, watching the water around you. Luffy slowly walks up to join you, sitting practically on top of you. The two of you sit for a while in silence, comforting silence after such a crazy day.

“Thanks for waiting for me.” You say sincerely, smiling as he starts to protest, then quiets himself.

“How’d you know I did?” Luffy asked, he’d tried to be subtle, but his worry for you had made him slow their escape.

“Come on, like you’d leave me behind.” You give him a side hug, letting him rest his head on your shoulder. “Plus I remember when you literally launched us out to sea once, you were waaaaaay to slow making your escape today. It was obvious.”

You both laugh as the water grows dark around you, ready for the next day.

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 15

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slow burn

cw ; none, dottore is mentioned but none of his hideous acts

notes ; WHATS UP SMART FELLAS AND FART SMELLAS ⁉️

I PROMISE IM NOT DEAD,,,, see the thing is that since i published the last chapter of this, i’ve done some crazy things like finishing and graduating highschool and studying and doing national exams and preparing to apply to colleges and yknow….. really normal, totally not time consuming stuff LMAO i can’t promise that i’ll be consistent again as i am still pretty busy with all that bizz but i’m very happy to have finally gotten a new chapter out

ANYWAY ITS MEROPIDE TIME BABEY ‼️ finally get to write my pookie wookie shmookie wriothesley, can u tell that i think he’s neat :3 can u tell that i am brewing up something with him :3 can u :3

also i HAVE OTHER WRITING PROJECTS COMING OUT SOONER OR LATER MORE LATER I PROMISE,,,,, currently cooking up something for whatever dungeon meshi-heads out there that r willing to enjoy it!!!!!

previous | next | masterlist

this line could not be moving slower.

you’ve been standing here for so long— any progress forward is merely two steps further but your legs have long since turned to lead, making each movement arduous and achy. mind hazy and limbs sluggish as you drag your feet through the rusted metal flooring. the most likely cause for your sudden stagnation is the overwhelming pressure from being… however many feet underwater you are, as you haven’t had much time to adapt to that yet.

ironically, it almost makes you regret your decision and you hadn’t even truly gotten inside the fortress of meropide. perhaps this was some sort of intentional psychological warfare towards the new prisoners, some sort of initiation for the upcoming torments of their sentences. even so, you look back on the moment and think it was the best course of action.

you remember the way your heart dropped upon hearing the word ‘guilty’, the way it fell all the way down to your feet and picked its pace back up again, beating a hundred miles per hour. you remember the way you weren’t even given time to say goodbye, to reach out to childe as he rebelled against the guards and was immediately detained by the iudex.

the iudex… you become conflicted at the thought of him. part of your brain tells you that you should be angry and despise him for only letting you visit childe after he was reported to be missing from the fortress, under the guise of inviting you to investigate his disappearance. though… he was so kind about it. you must’ve visited his office nearly everyday to ask for permission to visit the prison, every time being met by the same answer of ‘it’s beyond my capabilities’, but each of them he remained utterly patient and civilized— something that you ashamedly can’t say that you did in return. and even so, he graciously offered to grant you a fake sentence so you could find the harbinger yourself, with the help of the traveler and paimon of course.

there was a certain air to monsieur neuvillette, one of silent melancholy and deep thoughtfulness. your first impression of the iudex had you recalling zhongli as a comparison, but now you’ve grown more certain that they have far more in common. neuvillette is most definitely not human, you’ve long since assessed that, but every time you get a look at his eyes while visiting his office, you notice an almost draconic appearance to them. perhaps that’s why you can’t fully bring yourself to dislike him— he reminds you far too much of you the fond friendship you’ve found within the consultant of wansheng funeral parlor.

there’s a shove to your shoulder that snaps you back into reality and you realize it’s your turn to have your mugshot taken. mugshot… what would your mother think of you now? both her own child and their childhood best friend having criminal records in another country— you can practically feel the pinching of your ear, even if the false charge was something as ridiculous as stealing lady furina’s cake. despite the flash of the kamera making your eyes sting, you do your best to maintain a neutral expression and wonder if the traveler and paimon had already gotten their turn and have long since installed themselves in the fortress. you especially wonder so when you’re left to venture the fortress of meropide alone, with only a room number and no knowledge of the prison’s system to your name.

“hey! you there!”

oh dear heavens, it’s already started— you’ve not stepped foot into prison for one whole minute and you’re already about to become a bullying victim. you swallow thickly and turn around meekly like a cornered rabbit. a particularly grumpy-looking guard is the one who calls you over, expression hard and stoic. you nearly consider begging him to not be mean to you like a cowardly little kid, but he speaks before you even get to open your mouth and spew anything embarrassing.

“you’re y/n, the new inmate, right? the duke wants to see you in his office.”

oh it’s so over for you.

perhaps you haven’t become a punching bag just yet but you’ve sure, somehow, irked the warden enough to be immediately sent to his office. oh gods… is it because you’re fatui? you heard there were quite a few fatui operatives already residing in the fortress of meropide— perhaps the duke has a particular distaste for your kind. the guard half-heartedly shows you the way to the duke’s office, the singular, imposing tower at the center of the fortress.

the silence inside the tower is deafening, the only sound heard is the clang of your steps against the metal stairs, almost as if you’re the only living being inside. the second floor introduces itself through the incredibly faint, almost innate herbal scent that wafts around you more and more the higher steps you climb. finally, it reveals an atmospheric office with bookshelves rounding the walls, a comfortable-looking sofa with a coffee table littered with teacups before it and in the grand center of the room, a wide desk— the last thing you register is the man sitting at it expectantly.

he looks nothing like you expected him to.

by the title of duke, you were picturing an older, posher man adorning expensive fabrics and a distasteful, condescending expression towards the ‘lower lifeforms’ of his prisoners. instead, he’s much younger and rugged, littered with scars, dark tones and sharp edges to his outfit— he almost looks like an inmate himself. despite not appearing necessarily condescending, the duke of meropide is still plentiful imposing, as his icy blue eyes and platform boots send a shiver through your spine when he stands up to greet you. he sticks out a hand and you instinctively flinch away, although the hand only hangs in the air passively awaiting a handshake.

“y/n l/n, prisoner 7458, it’s a pleasure to meet you. welcome to the fortress of meropide.”

oh… his tone is so casual and friendly, it completely takes you aback— like you’re meeting a friend on the street instead of the highest authority of an enormous prison as one of his very own prisoners. you scramble to shake his hand and awkwardly fall into some sort of bowing motion in the midst of you’re panic.

“a-ah yes! thank po you very m-much, your grace.”

with this proximity, you have no choice but to look at the duke’s face up close. he wears an easy smile on his otherwise seemingly hardened face, one that you can’t help but subconsciously think of as handsome. another juxtaposition to your expectations toward the duke is that, despite his rugged and troublesome appearance, he is quite well kept— as seen by his neat peach fuzz. he confuses you entirely.

the duke chuckles amusedly at your entirely perplexed demeanor.

“no need to be so nervous, this is a casual talk that i personally wanted to have with you, rather than a… part of the fortress’ welcoming ceremony. so please, have a seat, make yourself comfortable— i’ll prepare us some tea. oh! and call me wriothesley.”

you do as… wriothesley says and sit on the surprisingly cushy chair in front of his desk as he himself steps off to the side to make the tea. your mind is still running at miles per hour with everything that’s happened and with what might happen next, with what to say or not to say to the duke, with where childe, the traveler and paimon might be right now. not to mention the sickeningly sweet smell that fills your brain even further… this must be some strong tea. wriothesley sets a teacup in front of you and sits at his grand, tall chair behind the desk. he faces you with a bright smile that you force yourself to return, yet you still can’t help but keep the thought of this ‘casual talk’ having other intentions gnaw at the back of your mind.

“so, i won’t dilly-dally with what i’d like to talk about— as you may have noticed, the fortress harbors quite a few inmates from the fatui.” bingo. who knew that your blinded anxieties were actually right.

“all of them arrive here with similar ranks, under similar sentences for similar crimes. standard stuff, really… but this is the very first time we’ve gotten ourselves a sergeant.”

although the duke keeps up an easy-going and lighthearted demeanor, you can’t help but remain on edge. you feel once again like prey cornered by a calculating hound. the smell of the tea still plagues your mind with its unavoidable presence— what’s even worse is that the scent isn’t entirely unfamiliar to you, the memory is just out of your grasp, frustrating you even more.

“and even further, this is our very first time we’ve gotten ourselves a fatui sergeant whose crime was… to steal a cake from lady furina?” wriothesley briefly looks down toward a document on his desk to make sure he’s actually recalling your crime correctly. you barely listen to what he’s saying, still laser focused on recognizing this irking fragrance.

“adding onto that, it seems as though we’re receiving two new inmates today who are arriving on the exact same sentence for the exact same crime as yourself. seems a bit curious, doesn’t it?”

your attention is caught by the mention of the traveler and paimon and you shoot up in your seat.

“oh yes, those are my friends! a-are they okay? have they arrived yet?”

wriothesley is seemingly surprised by your sudden enthusiasm, as he chuckles with certain shock and amusement. he looks at his file once again, eyes trailing over to the two other prisoner registry’s below your own with a certain analytical hint to his gaze.

“i’m certain they’ll be arriving at the fortress shortly. in the meantime, why don’t you tell me how exactly the three of you managed to commit such a heinous crime?” he asks humorously.

wait!

you’ve finally recognized the scent… a lesser known tea leaf from liyue, with no real definitive name for itself— only truly studied within the medical field for being one of the few tea leafs to contain sodium thiopental, a barbiturate that slows the speed of the communication between the spinal cord and the brain, making high-functioning tasks such as lying harder to perform. a truth serum.

wriothesley has served you a truth serum.

so much for a ‘casual talk’. you’ve known the man for not even a full day, yet you still feel a sting of betrayal fermenting in your chest. but truly, what can be done when you’ll always have a big fat target on your back that labels you as nothing more than a fatuus? you’ve chosen this wretched bed, now you must lie in it.

and lie you will.

with a forced laugh, you feign a reminiscent smile. “a-ah, it’s actually quite silly— i believe it goes without mention that my friends and i are foreigners and still wildly foreign to fontainian customs. we were invited to a meeting with lady furina and monsieur neuvillette in the spirit of diplomacy but, ahah… i guess we were unfamiliar with lady furina’s predilection for sweets and just took one for ourselves!”

wriothesley laughs in turn, but you’re unable to discern how genuine it is. you watch his periwinkle eyes flicker briefly toward your untouched teacup and suddenly, the atmosphere turns into one akin to a game of chess— innately hostile and strategic, where both of you must be hyper aware of the other’s next move lest you make a mistake and lose your carefully constructed composure.

“i must say it is an unlikely set of circumstances…”

you subconsciously look toward wriothesley’s own teacup, seeing that his remains as unsipped as yours. with a chilling feeling, you look back up to see that the duke’s gaze was already fixated on you, which means he saw you checking his teacup. which means he knows that you know.

“though, i’ve got to ask… what exactly entails your position in the fatui? this is purely out of my own curiosity, as most of our inmates all come from the house of the hearth.”

you swallow hard.

“well… i’m head of the infirmary, that’s all my position is, really. the sergeant title is just a half-assed justification for how high my ranking is.”

the calculating hint to wriothesley’s gaze softens in the slightest amount possible and he lightly looks off to the side, as if reminded of something, or someone he knows by your answer.

“i work directly under the second fatui harbinger, il dottore. i’m somewhat his… assistant.” the word assistant leaves your mouth with a tinge of disdainfulness as your body almost instinctively tenses at the mention of… him. the duke picks up on it.

“the doctor, huh— haven’t heard much about him myself, but what i have heard seems like more than enough for me.” you can’t help but snort at that.

“do you like it? working for him, that is.”

you’re staggered into silence and a shocked expression— the suddenness of the question completely taking you by surprise. the speechlessness you feel is painfully reminiscent of when kunikuzushi asked you if you’d like to kill dottore. despite the answer being obvious to you, there’s a subconscious fear gnawing at your side that dottore might be out here listening, disguised as someone else or as one of his segments, living a false life. but you can’t allow yourself to live in fear of him anymore— his segments are gone and he’s pathetically stuck in zapolyarny palace by himself while you’ve been out and traveling miles and miles away from snezhnaya. kunikuzushi doesn’t fear him, so why should you?

you’ve always been terrible at bluffing, so fuck it— you might as well not bluff at all.

instead of answering wriothesley immediately, you lunge for the teacup and gulp down the entire thing, much to his surprise. the duke is stunned in return as he merely watches attentively for your reaction to the serum. the silence between the two of you is prolonged as you give the serum time to take effect. the taste itself is a delightful, slight earthy flavor— making it even more enticing to drink normally for one unaware of the leaf’s properties. you don’t feel any different after a few seconds, if not ever so slightly woozier. you breathe in and out deeply, letting the first answer that comes to your mind be the one that comes out.

“i take my job very seriously, your grace— i am a medic, my ambition is to save lives. and there isn’t a soul in teyvat that i would ever want to kill more than i want to kill him.”

the answer feels foreign and unexpected even to yourself. the first time you were asked such a question, before one who was once the balladeer and dottore’s experimental god, your answer was no. it felt easier to say no— to tell him you’d rather he be the one to end the doctor’s reign of terror, because for the most part it was true. but then kunikuzushi found closure, he found new life and prosperity in places outside of godhood or tormenting others or spiting his ‘mother’ or going after dottore.

and you, you stayed the same. you’re still suffocating within the grimy, clawed grasp of the second fatui harbinger. you’ve been through so much, visited four different nations within the span of the last year, fought an abyssal creature and an artificial, nearly god-like being yet you still feel as stuck as you did while you were still stationed in snezhnaya. you’re still stuck having reasons to want to kill dottore, kunikuzushi moved past his.

the duke still can’t find an immediate response, as he merely scoffs incredulously at what he’s just watched. you see a faint glaze take over his gaze when he looks aimlessly down at his desk, as if truly involving himself in memories of the past— his eyebrows furrow briefly, as though the memories he recalls aren’t good ones. something grips at your throat, an anxious feeling, as you regret being so impulsive as to reveal something so damning about yourself. to a prison warden, no less. you feel as though you’ve sobered up and feel the need to make up for what you said and excuse yourself, but before you can even open your mouth wriothesley is already standing from his chair.

“well i respect your honesty, sergeant. i’m afraid we’ll have to leave our talk here, as i have to welcome more of the new prisoners into the fortress, maybe even your friends will be amongst them— i’ll make sure to give them the word that you’re here.”

you nod briskly and scurry to leave the office while the duke insists on seeing you out himself. your head pounds with nervousness, and perhaps slightly with the truth serum tea you just downed all at once— so much so that you almost don’t notice wriothesley’s hand sticking out once again in a polite handshake. much less do you notice the fascinated studying scan of his eyes across your face as your hand meets his.

“and again— welcome to the fortress of meropide, y/n.”

you don’t sleep well on your first night at the fortress.

perhaps it’s due to not being used to the overwhelming pressure of the water, perhaps due to the lack of warmth that your metal surroundings bring, perhaps a side effect of the tea.

or perhaps… it’s because you dream of ajax.

at first, the dream is sweet— drowning in cheesy, tooth-rooting romance tropes dug from the most delusional corners of your brain, ones that you desperately tried to suppress after you got over your phase of reading romance novels as a child. you’re reliving the tension-filled moment inside your hotel bathroom from the other morning, where some mystical force had pulled you and ajax so close together you shared the same breath, getting painstakingly closer still. only this time, instead of getting interrupted by those guards, the scene keeps going… and going… until you truly, finally meet each other in the middle.

within the misty midsts of your slumber, it almost feels real— there’s a shock of electricity when your lips touch, your heart beats faster from even outside the dream, you can nearly feel the warm sigh of satisfaction that ajax lets out from his nose and onto your face. but it still isn’t enough, the tightness in ajax’s desperate grip onto the back of your head and on the small of your back aren’t present enough. the juxtaposition of his fiery warm skin against your own cold one isn’t contrasting enough, your skin doesn’t burn as fiercely as it does when you touch him in the waking world.

and soon enough, the dream shifts… shifts into scenes of ajax inside the fortress. you’re not lucid enough to find the images strange, as you’ve never seen him inside the fortress yet— so you remain stuck, watching as he sneaks past a plethora of guards to reach a decrepit tunnel, overridden with plant-life as it connects out into the fontainian sea. your vision starts to blend incomprehensibly like watercolors on wet paper, until all the remains is a blinding, blue mess and a faint whisper in ajax’s voice:

“something’s… calling me… i… i have to go…”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap @koichirana

and don’t forget to boycott this shitty game!!

[sunshinechay]

So if we assume ForceBook and FirstKhao are the main couples of this series (since they are the first two couples in the credits). These two shots are so interesting to me.

Mew is the nice one, the virgin, the table keeper, while Ray is the trouble making drunkard. I don’t know why these two shots stick with me so much but they seems to tell the opposite.

Mew is the nice one, but there is a lot hidden underneath that’s going to be unleashed and I highlight doubt that’s going to be a good thing.

Ray is a troublemaker sure, but I think it’s probably just more on a surface level. Underneath is a boy who is in pain and just wants to the boy he loves to love him back. Right now it’s Mew but I imagine that it’s going to become Sand pretty soon.

It might be nothing but it seems like a strange thing to do to make your serious “wants to have sex for the first time with someone he trusts and isn’t afraid to say no” look like he’s in some kind of serial killer mugshot while the obvious drunk troublemaker look more sympathic by having his face half in the light.

P.S. I think it’s also important that Boston is left out of the light entirely but I’m not too sure about what it means just yet.

[kylejsugarman]

hey I lurk for your Breaking Bad content. please give me all of your Jesse in Alaska/recovery headcanons. I need it like I need air.

jesse in alaska.......where do i even begin 😔 im going to avoid lingering too much on my alaska oc's and that little world (tldr for newcomers: jesse gets to haines, starts working at a repair/custom shop called carvings owned by sheila, and befriends and falls in love with the local vet demi who is raising her niece baby) just because there are Plenty of those posts and i want to focus more on jesse himself

this is one ive talked about before, but its just so precious to me, and thats jesse getting into cooking. at first, him learning how to do it is out of pure necessity. the canned food that ed left him only lasts for a few weeks and the prepackaged stuff at the store is all queasily redolent of the "treats" (<- meager sustenance) that were dropped into his cage, so he picks up a box of dry pasta and looks at the recipe for chicken penne printed on the box. it has all the steps, the ingredients. he was always good at following a recipe. jesse dutifully buys the stuff and what begins as him robotically following the text later on in his small, dim kitchen starts to feel. Good. there's no harsh fumes or chemical burns. he doesnt have to measure the garlic down to a hundredth of a gram. he has a recipe to follow—something to guide him—but nothing awful is going to happen if he experiments a little. if he deviates. and he isn't making poison. he's making something Good. for so, so long, jesse only Destroyed and when he did create, it was poison. now he gets to do what he wants. he gets to make good. that chicken penne is the first thing he eats in weeks that actually has flavor—or maybe he's letting himself Taste again. jesse starts cooking more and more, using those supermarket recipes and eventually recipes that he prints off from the public library computers, and even once it becomes a part of his daily routine, he never loses that weird excitement for it. there's the satisfaction of successfully executing a task even with his memory issues and adhd, but also the excitement of realizing over and over that he can do what he wants.

jesse thinks he's "done" with drugs when he gets to alaska purely because he hasn't been able to use and doesnt have immediate access to anything stronger than alcohol or tobacco, but he quickly realizes that he does not have any other kind of coping mechanism ready to deploy or way to sufficiently distract himself once he's physically and mentally well enough to Be Aware. alcohol doesnt seem to "work" fast enough. he thinks over and over about hiring a sex worker or finding a bar somewhere so he can have sex with and fall asleep next to a warm, living body. he drives for hours and sometimes hits the brakes hard on the icy road when theres no one else out there, letting himself skid uncontrollably and hoping he crashes. he wants to start a fight with a stranger. he wants to hug a stranger. and he does end up using drugs again, several times. i mean he's a severely traumatized addict arriving in a new location with zero support. it's not a failure, it's not irreversible backsliding: it's just the reality of what being in this terrifying, vulnerable situation would be like for jesse. for a long time, he sees these relapses as signs of weakness and that Certain People were right about him being a pathetic junkie with no will or value, but as he starts meeting people and finding new ways to be happy and getting the right treatment for his various issues and sometimes even sitting in NA church basement meetings because he just needs to be Understood, jesse comes around to the idea that addiction is not a moral failing and sees his life as worthy enough to safely and healthily preserve.

lightning round!! jesse decides once he arrives to grow his hair and facial hair out some to look less like his old mugshot, but also because as soon as the cold winter air touches his shaved head, he basically reverts to spongebob and patrick duct-taping fur off of sandy to survive in her dome during winter. he stops to stare in awe at eagles and whales and moose even after years and years of living in alaska. his sense of smell is nearly totally destroyed from cooking without protection, but he still always buys lemon scented soap and cleaning stuff because lemon was his aunt ginny's favorite scent. he reads up on a lot of first-aid on the public library computers, sometimes out of a sense of frantic compulsion or guilt, sometimes out of legitimate curiosity. when he drives home from doctors appointments or NA meetings, he plays the music in his car so loud that his seat shakes. the people of haines know that mr driscoll can be a little cagey and will flinch at the sound of his own laugh, but they also know that he brakes for animals and carves beautiful gadrooning and buys ten of whatever the kids are selling to raise money for the band or their scout troop. and they like him quite a bit :)

[howlingday]

Ruby, up and coming hero blessed with the Silver Eyes, has heard terrible news! A horrible fiend has invaded the lands! A demon, hailing from a long and cursed line, master of sorcery and steel, a silver tongued trickster, a slave master, a depraved incubus, foul crafts hiding under welcoming illusions, a keen mind of gears and schemes and plots within plots, stronger than iron and quicker than quicksilver, all this and more, has taken control of an abandoned fortress! Determined to boldly rid the lands of this foul taint, (and to prove to Yang she’s a big girl!) she sets off to confront the monster alone! (Bad girl! That’s the first rule of adventuring: don’t go it solo!)

Except, no???????? Jaune has never seen or heard of any ‘demon’ around here. He just moved in, trying to strike out on his own, but nothing seems to be cursed from what he can see. He seems nice enough too. He’s fixing up the old ruin, disabling traps, healing folks when they wander into his place, and all that. Strong, smart, endlessly kind. Talks about his family a lot, they look so happy in the photo. That crest looks familiar, but it’s probably nothing. Surely he’s not the monster, but she can sure use his help to slay the monster when she finds him!

You see, the Arcs are only labeled villains because they refused to kowtow to the government way back when. Their views on life, other races, virtues, and such also puts them at odds with the narrative. The Arcs also have higher standards before they allow their kids to go on adventures, so even the weakest is very strong even to other adventurers. Slightly inspired by the Mind Reaver comic strips by Edd Lai.

So, I decided to have a look into Mind Reaver by Edd Lai, and I have to say I love the idea. A Mind Flayer that's actually a good guy and helps people who wander into his house. It's cute, especially when his niece and... servant, I think? Anyway, it's all so cute, and I highly recommend y'all check it out. Anyway, on to the story.

===========================

WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE

JAUNE "SALEM'S PALADIN" ARC

REWARD ON APREHENSION

===========================

Ruby looked down at the wanted poster in her hand, carefully examining the features in the mugshot. She'd heard many stories about the Arc family, though much of it was told in the darkest of night as a warning to not stray too far from home, or to not stay up too late, or to file your taxes on time. His jawline was coated in thick hair, and his blue eyes gazed death into the soul of those who view them. There were many other tales, too, like how he'd sway any woman into being his slave, take cannon fire with his bare body, and would even subject whole armies with his sorceries.

Ruby looked up from the poster to see the baby-faced man sitting across from her at the table. She'd found him, demanding to engage in honorable combat between warriors! His response was, "Can we get coffee first?" Ruby agreed and watched as he sipped from his mug after waiting for to cool.

"Ooh!" He winced. "Still kinda hot."

"Uh..."

"Oh, sorry!" He then handed her a napkin. "I think I forgot to split our share."

"No, you already did." Ruby shook her head. "Besides, there's more important stuff going on here!"

"More important how?"

"I mean like this!" She slapped the wanted poster onto the table, earning a groan from him.

"Not another one." He shook his head. "Can we finish our coffee first?"

"I... I guess?" Ruby shrugged. "But why aren't you all... Y'know, big and scary and trying to mind-break me?"

"...Because I can't?" He asked more than he said. He then took the poster in his massive, clawed hands. Each finger was about the size of a breakfast sausage. "I really wish they would get a new picture. They make me look like a monster in this."

"Aren't you?" Ruby asked.

"Half." He answered. "Well, kinda sorta. You see, my great-great-great-"

Ruby whirled her fingers in a wheel as he rounded off each great in his ancestor's name. She'd heard a lot of tales about monsters and humans and faunus getting together, except for the Grimm, who were mindless beasts of destruction. What usually came from these unions was either monster or human or faunus, but on rare occasions, half-monsters would be born. These creatures were then cast out of the village upon their discovery, usually ending with their own demise. It was sad and cruel, but terribly not uncommon.

"-great-grandma Salem, the mother of all Grimm."

"Wait, I thought Grimm couldn't reproduce."

"They can't, but she can. Or could, since she hasn't had any kids since The Great Tear." Open in dimensions from a huge magical clash, brought monsters into Remnant, new age of war, magic, and adventure for everyone. Ruby knew it well enough from the stories. "Ooh! Still hot." He chuckled, after wincing from another sip of hot coffee.

"Okay, so then why is everyone after you? Half-monsters don't usually have posters, unless they commit a crime."

"Well, I didn't."

"You didn't?"

"He did." Ruby whirled in her seat to find a young woman standing in the doorway to the coffee shop. She stepped in with guards trailing behind her, all heavily armored, while she herself wore an elegant officer's jacket. "Jaune Arc, I am placing you under arrest in the name of the Schnee Dust Queendom."

"What did I do?" Jaune asked.

"Yeah, what did he do?" Ruby asked.

Snapping her fingers, a heavy, white book was brought to her hands. Opening it, the pages fluttered until they landed on a pair of pages with Jaune's name and mugshot on them. Clearing her throat, she began.

"Corrupting the minds of the youth."

"Hey, Mr. Whitley asked me to tutor him!"

"Silence!" She barked, her face growing a bit red. "Seducing a high ranking officer of the Schnee Dust Queendom."

"Your mother was a nice woman! She kissed me first!"

"I said shut up!" Her face grew even more red. "And public indecency while resisting Queendom duties."

"You fired a cannon at me!"

"And stripped yourself bare in an attempt to intimidate us."

"MY CLOTHES WERE BURNED OFF!"

"AND I SAID SHUT UP!" Face completely red, she tossed the book behind her in a fury. "You will surrender yourself at once, Salem's Paladin!"

"Oh, come- I don't even know Salem!" He defended. "I've never even met my great-great-great-great-"

"Great." Ruby groaned. "You got him started again."

"And who are you?"

"Ruby Rose, bounty hunter." She smiled. "Who are you?"

"Queen-Heiress-Apparent Weiss Schnee," she huffed, "and I'm taking this criminal in."

"Nuh-uh."

"What do you mean, 'nuh-uh'?"

"I mean nuh-uh."

"-great-great-great-grandma Salem!"

"Did you add two greats on there?" Ruby asked.

"Enough!" Weiss snarled. "You are both being brought into custody!"

"Aw, really? But couldn't we have... coffee?" Ruby winked at Jaune.

"No, we can't." Weiss answered.

"Jaune!" Ruby whined. "You were supposed to throw coffee on her!"

"Excuse me?!" Weiss screeched.

"Yeah, excuse you?!" Jaune reeled back. "Why would I do that?!"

"Because it'd be totally cool, like in an action comic!" Ruby reasoned.

"But it would hurt her!"

"THAT'S THE POINT!"

"ENOUGH!"

The cafe rumbled as white circles covered the walls and floors. An angry Schnee huffed in and out of her nose as she pulled out her rapier. Behind her, soldiers readied their guns on the two. Ruby glanced to Jaune, who gulped at the sight. Looks like she was going to do this alone.

"Are you sure you don't want coffee? It's really good~!" Ruby sang.

"Oh, please," Weiss rolled her eyes, "do you really think you can throw coffee on me now that I'm aware that's your- ARGH! BIG NICHOLAS FUCK!" She held her face as very, very, very, very, very warm coffee splashed onto her face.

Ruby took the cue and grabbed Jaune. Together, the two weaved through gunfire as yellow and red petals fluttered to the floor. The two had successfully made their escape, and it seemed the soldiers inside were easily distracted, too, as they began barking orders at one another. One of them actually barked like a dog, too, which was weird.

"AFTER THEM!" The barking died as the Schnee roared over them all.

Weiss used a blanket of napkins to wrap around ice dust and held it to her face. One guard remained behind, holding her book. Through her anger, she gave him an order that would turn the world upside down for Ruby and Jaune.

"I want wanted posters in every kingdom," she seethed, "and I want that Demon Couple locked up YESTERDAY!"

[beckinferno]

My SP hyperfix is back so here's a masterpost for my general headcanons!

I'm sure you can guess which characters are my fav based on how some of them are very detailed. Sorry about any typos or unclear sentences LMAO

Kenny

Has a 5+ year old phone with a cracked screen which barely works. He only uses it to call or text people. At times playing games on it too

He loves chicken nuggets and fries but most of the time can't afford it

He never shows his face and hates it when people tell him to take off his hood

Butters, Stan, Kyle and Cartman are the only people who has seen him without the hood on. Idc about canon, let me have this

He drinks alcohol and smokes cigarettes from but hides it from other people

He loves hugs and cuddles, maybe because he never gets that affection very often from his family

He has a bad immune system

His favorite sodas are Pepsi and Sprite because I say so

He often skips classes or sleeps through them

Fingerless gloves.

He's actually a VERY good drummer and is self taught. He also lowkey enjoys sketching

He hates talking about personal things and will often brush them off as nothing

Stan

Biromantic and on the asexual spectrum

Plays the electric guitar and likes to doodle in his notebook more than doing actual school/home work

He likes ramen noodles

He dislikes weed because of Randy's farm, but he does smoke normal cigarettes and uses other drugs sometimes (as a teen)

Big soccer and baseball enjoyer

Listens to music too much and too often. He likes MCR because I do too

Loves holding hands, hugging, etc (any kind of physical affection) unless he's in a bad mood

He's very messy and rarely cleans his room. He is in no way organized about anything.

Hoodies. He wears many hoodies and sweaters. He loves comfy clothing and has come to dislike wearing suits and fancy clothes

Cartman

Very very very closeted bisexual. No, I won't elaborate.

Owns and knows how to play the electric guitar and is actually kind of good at it

Everyone knows he loves food, but less people know he actually really likes cooking. (He has a secret Pinterest account with only recipes)

He has heterochromia; one blue eye and one brown

He speaks a lot of different languages besides from English. Like German, Vietnamese and some Spanish

Loves Lady Gaga and Britney Spears

Cartman has been arrested a lot of times, and does have quite the collection of mugshots

Even when being a teenager, he has a love for his stuffed animals and always enjoys looking at toys while at the store

Secretly a history/war nerd

He's the type of guy to send random and unrelated memes in groupchats and text conversations

Anger issues about most stuff. Especially when losing in any kind of video game

Likes photography a lot

Ike

Autistic because I am autistic and I say so

Tells people he loves Minecraft and Roblox but actually enjoys violent games the most

Comfort food is pizza and his favorite drink is chocolate milk or coca cola. He also loves any type of cookies/chocolate

Loves his weighted blanket and one of comfort items is a stuffed dinosaur

Stuffed animals, drawing and music helps him calm down after nightmares/memories of Miss Stevenson

Only accepts physical affection from Kyle and their parents. His experience with Miss Stevenson changed his reaction to touch

Plays ice hockey and baseball

Hates being kicked/teased. But loves teasing Kyle back and wearing his hat

Big Pewdiepie, Jacksepticeye and DanTDM enjoyer

Loves cartoons, especially Scooby Doo and Chinpokomon (Pokémon)

Swears a lot despite certain adults not liking that he does it

Very protective and caring for Kyle and even if he's younger, he tries to show it the way he can

He hates being sick and despises taking any kind of medicine. He can be very stubborn about this sometimes

[chromateclipse]

Okay, so you like Velvet and Veneer? Well, if you get the chance, I want you to speak! TELL ME EVERYTHING!! I want you to give me headcannons please, as many as you can think of :)

pls and thx!!

AHHH! OK so I've never done anything like this but I put as many as I could think of. If I come up with anything else, I'll edit this and add it (or just make a new post) 

(lots of words ahead 💀)

General headcanons :

- They one hundred percent had the Barbie mugshot but with Velvet's deadly stare instead

- and Veneer made sure he looked good; they are taking a picture after all

- I think Velvet might be a little taller than Veneer but they're both taller than average

- never leaves the house without heels or platforms or both

- Veneer has must-be-wearing-a-crop-top syndrome. Can't be cured 😔 

- I'm sorry but they totally sang Circus by Britney Spears. That song is so V&V coded and has female and male vocals too 😩

- The sass is too hard to contain for this duo. Once a sly thought appears in their mind, they have to voice it (but I'm not complaining. They're iconic) 

- Veneer can be a little blunt or rude sometimes. I know ppl like to imagine him as just the caring and silly sibling but he did everything Velvet did. He just had morals that started to kick in once the threat of being a killer was thrown at him. 

(I mean did you see him nearly just toss Floyd down the toilet 💀)

- of course, I still think he is silly and kind and chooses to do so for a fair portion of the time but he's no stranger to being ignorant to most of his wrongdoings as well

- and I think they both have some trauma from practically killing Floyd. GET THEM THERAPYYY

- I think Velvet would like decorating and making things ✨Aesthetic✨

- like a little journal that she'd write her feelings in and then fill with beautiful stickers and photos (totally not a burn book....) 

- I think Poppy would love love looove to see Velvet's journal filled with beautiful stationary. She'd probably get her into scrapbooking and they'd make the cutest little displays or books just brimming with photos, cutouts, diagrams, and more. 

-Poppy and Viva can be a little overwhelming for Velvet at first but they'd totally become great gal pals and just chat all day. 

- and at first, Bergen features might be a little....alarming to Velvet but she'd learn to love Bridget just like Poppy does

-also both are invited to the broppy wedding... 👀

- she also of course become friends with the BroZone brothers but I get more into that below ⬇️

"Story" headcanons :

- So for Velvet, I think in the movie she was so blinded by her need for fame and luxury that she didn't notice how her family (Veneer) helped her and stuck around through all the things she said and did. This would separate her from being just a complete villain because I do believe that she can reform herself into something better

- In Jail, I think Velvet would really hate it and everyone around her. She probably wouldn't want to talk to Veneer at all at first but being alone might give her time to reflect on herself

- over a little time, I think she'd realize how Veneer was always there for her and understood her ways. She'd definitely come back around and they'd be back to being as close as they were before, maybe even more

-It would take some time for both Velvet and Veneer to adjust. 

- Veneer would dislike jail very much. He's so used to his life of luxury that I'm sure he'd be surprised by how little you get behind bars

- and with Velvet wanting to be alone, he would probably feel more alone than ever

- but he knows he did the right thing and even though prison sucks, he'd get through it

- Veneer would probably try to make friends with some of the people there but it is prison soo.... I'm not sure how well that would go. 

- if anyone came to visit him, he'd be so happy cuz jail is sooo boring and he'd finally get to yap away to somebody who knows him.

- you just know they'd be styling that prison jumpsuit the best the can

- can you sneak heels into jail??

- Velvet and Veneer are kinda "eye candy" for the criminals in jail and they might get targeted by those who are jealous or looking for a fight

-Velvet's not the only one with an attitude problem, Veneer can very well relay a comment or two that can easily get them into some trouble. He'll have to work on that along with his sister, learn how to correctly treat the people around them

 - After they become besties again, they'd have each other's backs like never before. I think Velvet really really does care about Veneer and if anything ever happened to him, she'd be devastated. This time, she'd really like to treat him how he deserves and nurture that sibling bond. 

- and you know once anyone throws hands with one sibling, the other comes swinging

- 💥KNOCKOUT💥

- not the best thing to do if you want to get out of jail fast but hey, nobody messes with twins and gets away with it

- Due to other more serious situations being forgiven in the past, I think Velvet & Veneer wouldn't be in prison for too long. I can easily see BroZone forgiving them and offering to help the twins with whatever they'd need

- Veneer would definitely become great friends with Floyd and even Bruce. After all, he knows what it's like to be sensitive and a heartthrob 😌

- and I can see Velvet relating to Branch and J. D. She's probably a control freak (or was) and always wants everything to be perfect, just like John Dory. That's something they'd both have to work on. And I think Velvet and Branch can relate to one another's sassy sarcastic comments and occasional snide remarks. 

- I can also see them joining Clay's sad book club. I need to see a scene of Veneer just balling his eyes out after finishing a book while all the others just pat him on the back 😆

- @horrorartist23 did a couple of drawings of Velvet & Veneer(or maybe just Ven idk) working at Bruce's Beachside Bar and I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH.

- ESPECIALLY since Bruce said his family was a total Veneer household. I think it would be so cute for not only his kids getting the chance to meet Vel&Ven but also for Vel&Ven to get a little bit of real work experience.

- it would be so good for them to work at a place like that to learn about themselves and a work environment.

- plus the whole island is gorgeous and pretty luxury, which would fit into they're ideal environment. AND everything is Rageon sized so they don't have to worry about being too big!!

- They'd literally be working hard and making it look easy 💀

- I think it's perfect and I love it

-after jail and therapy, I think Velvet would really love the life she has. She'd of course still make mistakes sometimes and her sass will never leave. That's just who she is and none of us would want to change that . But she'd have a way healthier mind and so would the people around her. 

- I think both of them might want to actually learn how to sing and dance like real performers 

- Velvet hates making mistakes or not being perfect at a skill immediately. I know how that is and it's really difficult to get past but with more encouragement from Veneer and even the Brozone brothers, she'd become the star she always knew she was. 

- And Veneer would take initiative for himself and practice performing like a real idol. I feel Veneer would also struggle with wanting perfection immediately but I think he'd really fall in love with dancing and this would help him keep up the determination. And he'd be really good at it too after some practice

- Knowing how good they can be if they put in the work would be a huge motivator too. Cuz they only stole Floyd's talent, not his voice. And because of this Velvet knows that she sounds good when she's at her peak in skill. They know that they can be amazing, they just have to work for it this time 

-Trying to become famous again for the right things would definitely be hard. They're reputation is awful

- BUT, I think Mount Rageous would give them a chance to prove themselves. Considering how all Rageons are obsessed with media, fame, and celebrities, I think they couldn't resist the bait of former popstars Velvet & Veneer coming back to the stage, this time with their own talent that they've truly worked hard to perfect. 

- And they'd deserve it for how much work they put into reforming their lives. 

- Plus, nobody can take away their love for the stage and performing. They're too iconic to forget 💅

- and you know I'd be keepin' my eye out for that V&V/BroZone collab 🌟

- First live performance with BroZone, Velvet and Veneer are getting their Perfect Family Harmony. And you can bet it will be the most amazing thing to ever grace the planet

- I'd die 💀

That's all that I can think of right now 🤔 I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on these two. I really really love them and getting to write this down was really fun. If you have any ideas you'd like to expand upon or thoughts you'd like to share, let me knooww! And of course, Thank you sweetgirl15161819 for sending this ask!! 💖 💖

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

platonic hc’s with the gang and f!greaser pls?? f!greaser acts like Nicole from class of ‘09

OK POOKIE I DID RESEARCH FOR THIS

And what I’ve collected is that she’s kinda sassy and vulgar, very casually so and refers to BDSM a lot and basically kind of a bad bitch with a tragic backstory

Ponyboy Curtis

-he’s kinda shocked

- whenever he first hears you be so vulgar in public

-staying shit that Darry would’ve slapped him for

-being a girl like you are is a rare trait for the times of the submissive housewife ideology

-he respects it and grows to admire you a lot

-he did definitely get his innocence ruined by you though

-Like he had to ask about so many different things that you’ve said that he didn’t understand

-Because he couldn’t go to Darry

-“ Dal… what does riding someone like a cowgirl mean?”

-“Y/n made that joke, didn’t she, man?”

Johnny Cade

-omg

-you’re Dal

-a female Dallas fuckin Winston

-he really loves you

-like he admired you so much and looks up to you

-he thinks it’s funny when you’re vulgar in public

Sodapop Curtis

-I think like pony he’d also be a bit surprised

-but he got over a much quicker

-You guys make really great friends though

-he digs your sass and confidence

-Even if it’s fake, he admires your fake till you make it attitude

Darry Curtis

-he’s the most surprised

- I think out of the gang he’s the most traditional guy

-And you pretty much like rock his world

-If it wasn’t for Dallas, I don’t think he’d even know how to react to you

-he actually really likes you and kind of admire you

- though he doesn’t think you make the most responsible choices at times

Dallas Winston

-dynamic duo

-The rest of the gang sees together and it’s like holy shit there’s two of them?!

-whenever you two are walking together people know shits up

-you guys have fun fucking with the police together

- like if you get arrested for something

-you’ll act absolutely cuckoo bat shit when getting questioned or some shit like that

-It’s hilarious you guys just are so iconic

-Just the best of friends

-And you two actually have super deep conversations with each other that none of the rest of the gang can ever know about not even Johnny

-And you guys both know each other‘s back stories by heart

-You guys definitely posed like Ken and Barbie in your mugshots if you got them taken 

Two Bit Mathews

-he fucking loves this

-he thinks you’re utterly hilarious

-and if I had to choose the second place to dynamic duo, it would probably be you with two

-I mean your sass with his jokes? You really can’t find people more fun to hang out with.

-not even Two Bit Matthews is as casually vulgar as you are and it’s kind of funny

-You guys have so much fun messing with Socs 

Steve Randle

-he’s kind of wary at first

-but I think he definitely grows to respect you

-He’s not typically a quiet guy, but I feel like he would be around you

-he likes listening to you, talk and make your jokes a lot

[sev-on-kamino]

A lil headcanon for ✨Commander Thorn✨

This is based on events in my series: ‘In Pieces’ but I wanted to share it ahead of that chapter because self-control has never come around me 😌 Also shout out to the Barbie meme for making this scene way more fun!

Thorn has made it his mission to arrest every member of Torrent Company (and the Ghost Company is on thin ice)

He brought Hardcase and Jesse in once, and the mugshots they took were so fantastic that he hung them on his office wall.

Next time he had to arrest Fives and Tup for a bar fight, and Fives treated his mugshot like a glamour shot, and Tup looked as angelic as possible.

He’s managed to get the whole company except for Kix and Dogma, and it will be like every holiday rolled into one, if he ever snags them.

Fox finds it hilarious, but he WILL NOT admit to it.

They never get in real trouble, but Thorn makes it a point to call Rex to come and get them.

It’s simultaneously awesome and shameful to have your mugshot in Thorn’s office.

Hardcase and Jesse often try to see how far they can go before getting arrested, and Hardcase always ends up cracking up during the process.

Rex has decreed that the next person to get arrested is going to be running drills until they beg for the sweet release of death.

Thorn is having too much fun calling him and he can’t take it anymore.

Since it’s also WIP Wednesday, please have a lil sneak peek/drabble thing below the cut:

“Oh, Maker, this is perfect,” Thorn said, arriving on the platform where you, Jesse, and Hardcase were being detained just outside of 79’s.

“I’ll have you know, we did not start the fight,” you said folding your arms and lifting your head proudly.

“But we did finish it,” Hardcase added with a grin.

“Thank you for that because I was missing this pretty girl’s face in my office,” He said booping your nose. “Just need Kix and Dogma for the full set.”

“You’ll never get those two,” Jesse shook his head.

“Oh, they’ll slip up, and I’ll be there,” He turned back to you. “You, my gorgeous friend, are really in for it.”

“Why me?” You pouted. “I think I should get special treatment.” You were not above using your friendship to get out of the inevitable call to Rex that would land all of you in a world of pain. He’d been so clear when you all left that any trouble was going to result in the kind of punishment that would go down in GAR history.

“I’ll let you make that request directly to Fox,” you could hear him smirking through the modulator, which confused you.

He had to have known by now that the pair of you had had a falling out. He didn’t know the details, but you’d raced right past him the last time you’d left Fox’s quarters. But Thorn’s loyalty would always lie with Fox, and you respected that.

You gave him a look, but with his bucket on, you had no idea if your message was received. You weren’t willing to say more in present company, so you just fumed silently.

“And now for my favorite part: you’re all under arrest for disorderly conduct, and I will be taking you in, and I will be calling Captain Rex.”

“This feels like an abuse of power. You should not be this happy,” you said, even as you heard Hardcase struggling not to laugh while Thorn placed the binders on your wrists with a flourish.

“And yet, I am,” he purred.

tagging: @deejadabbles @dystopicjumpsuit @sunshinesdaydream

also cause I think you’ll enjoy it (hope it’s ok): @ladyzirkonia

[innytoes]

Mistakes were made and the GPP?

Willie was with Carrie and the Candis when they got the call. Well, Carrie got the call. They'd been doing each other's nails, not really watching Magic Mike except for the Good Parts. Kayla had gotten some fancy foaming face mask for them to try and it was ridiculous and fun. Willie wasn't sure if it actually did anything but he liked the way it poofed up.

"You what?" Carrie asked, pressing the phone to her ear. The foam was flaking off her face because of her frown. Uh-oh. "Fine. When my nails are dry. No, you sit and think about what you did."

"Uh-oh," Heather said, echoing Willie's thoughts.

"Do we want to know?" Kayla asked.

"The himbos got arrested," Carrie said, sighing. "They want me to come bail me out."

"I'll come with," Willie volunteered. Carrie drove scarily when she was annoyed. Also, she would totally forget to take pictures of them in jail to share in the group chat.

"Let them wait," Carrie said, leaning back to watch Matt Bomer shake his groove thang on stage. "Maybe that will teach them."

"Have you met them?" Kayla asked, which was a fair question.

By the time their nails were dry, their face masks were washed off and they got to the station, over an hour had passed. As Carrie paid for the bail, Willie had his camera ready. The hangdog expressions as first Reggie, then Alex, and then Luke came out were hilarious.

He wasn't expecting the last person.

"JULIE?" he shouted. "You got Julie arrested? And I wasn't even along for the ride? How could you?"

"Please don't take a picture," Julie begged. "If that somehow gets out to my Tía I won't be able to leave the house until I'm sixty." Even though she didn't even live at home anymore. Willie had met Victoria. She'd find a way.

"Well, we wouldn't want that," Willie said, because he wasn't an asshole. He put the phone away, opening his arms for a hug. Baby's first arrest was always a little scary. He remembered the first time he and Alex were arrested, the guy had been in tears. Julie burrowed into his cozy sweater, letting him wrap her in a hug.

"So what happened?" he asked.

"There was a cat," Reggie said like that explained it all.

"We thought it was in trouble," Alex added.

"We got arrested for trespassing," Julie mumbled into Willie's chest.

"Mistakes were made," Luke ended.

"You four owe me so hard," Carrie said. "I'm not doing the dishes for four months."

"That's fair," Reggie agreed. Luke shrugged, and Alex looked properly chastised. Julie nodded, still not coming up for air. Willie gently patted her head.

"How about we go home and you can tell us all about it," he suggested.

Eventually, the charges were dropped when Reggie sincerely described the owner's cat back to them, down to the little black spot under its eye, and they realised that the four really had just been trying to help. Turned out Fluffy was kind of a murderer, and the blood on her paws had definitely not been hers but some poor squirrel or something.

And Julie's mugshot ended up on the fridge with the others, though carefully hidden whenever Victoria would be over. After all, Willie didn't want to miss her until she was sixty.

[skimmeh]

Just wanna say the stareater au is amazing. Like. The amount of effort and time you and kairimuwu must have put into the world-building and character designs and figuring out how the hybrid things work and the vibe of everything and everyone's role is just so admirable.

Idk if worldbuilding is hard for me in particular or if it's a general thing but to see au's with amazing worlds like this is just spectacular

do you get that?? you two are spectacular. You're putting in this work for concept and art and writing for free????/?/

Also I am very excited for the whole thing with Pearl. I saw her design in the height chart and just went :0 THATS PEARL SHE LOOKS SO COOL! Her with the hood on looks like some shady video game character i love it. Her having her own blog and her role as an information dealer just sounds so creative.

also kind of random but I'm gonna take a guess that Cleo and Scott are soulmates in this au since while Martyn was in the hybrid chart he isn't in the height one and Mumbo and Pearl were referred to as "kind of in the main cast" so i doubt they'll be in the games themselves

AGH- thank you so much!!! Truly!!!

Me and @kairamuwu just have so much fun coming up with the world and story and rot over the characters constantly!!! So it's so cool to hear that others always enjoy it!!! THANKSSS!!! Truly just doing this because it's fun to tell a story :))

PEARL IS SO COOL and I'm excited about the things I got planned for her character!!! ...Her design is still being worked on a lil!!! But yeah I'm excited for her character!

Yeee, the only characters that are in the games at the start are the ones in Stareater mugshot post!

Most of the reason Martyn and other characters aren't in the height sheet is we haven't drawn them yet, purely down to that fact their characters appear a lil later ..so take the least priority to some! But we will draw them at some point. Martyn is also a character I'm excited about .... HONESTLY EVERYONE I'm excited over everything haha

[fruitybashir]

so you know, people say that fanfic writers often just project what they want to do on their characters. Does that also apply to you? (cause I know the way you feel about a certain man who's name starts with b and ends with ojan.. just curious LMAO)

also random side note: the way Kris treated Bojan while they were doing it, is such a green flag. The way he always checks on him if everything is okay to make sure that both of them are comfortable and that bojan is feeling good is just soo ?!?!?!! Like I know that it should be normal but I just think that is so attractive. Anyways.

if you look up "writers projecting what they want to do on their characters" in the oxford dictionary they dont even have a written explanation in there, just my mugshot

well you know what they also say: if you cant fuck him, you can at least write his friend doing it for you. 100% when im writing bokris im just making kris do to bojan what i wish i could do to him, i wont even lie

and yesssss thank you thank you and also hard agree. communication, consent and checking up on your partner/s is just so sexy 🥵

and i also cant help writing smut like that like. in case anyone hasnt seen yet, im also writing a bojance thing and it was supposed to just be super kinky but its already just turning into feelings and mush again and them all just being super sweet, i cant help ittttt i think thats the best kind of sex you can have 🫶🏻