#i also just woke up so if this is trash garbage look away thanks lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

waitineedaname · 5 years ago

Note

oooooo maybe a davekat meetcute? idk ne specific meetcutes but the more embarassing the better

shoutout to @bandersnatchbandwidth for helping come up with this concept AND the wonderful cat names. I loved writing this lol

—

“Princess Diana!”

What the fuck.

“Princess Diana of Southern Texas, my sweet angel baby, come here.”

Why. Why couldn’t Karkat have normal neighbors.

He peered out his kitchen window, bewildered and groggy. It was way too early to have to listen to the virtual strangers in his nearby vicinity lose their minds. His window looked directly into his nextdoor neighbors backyard. Dave… something. They’d barely interacted since he’d moved in, nothing beyond nods of greeting if they run into each other outside or the occasional “hey the mailman gave me your mail by mistake” “oh hey sick dude, thanks.” But of course, thanks to Karkat’s spectacular luck, he was having to witness Dave wander around in his yard in a bathrobe and boxers and not much else.

“C’mere, beautiful, lemme get you back inside where it’s safe.” Dave continued to coo. What the hell was he talking about? Karkat watched his half naked neighbor crouch down at something, and then watched a ball of white fluff bolt to the opposite corner of the yard. He practically felt Dave’s groan in his own chest.

“Princess Diana, I’m begging you.” Dave approached the bush where his cat was now hiding with caution. “Come on, you’re not meant to be outside. Come back inside where it’s safe. I just got you groomed and now you’re dirty, this is just uncalled for.” He squatted in front of the shrub and Karkat had to try not to laugh as how absurd he looked. The cat was so small, but she clearly had an attitude. “Let me take you inside and I’ll open up a can of wet food and we’ll get our brushing on and you can do that thing where you massage my legs all cute and basically shred me to bits. You’re not meant to be usin’ those claws for hunting out here, you only know clawing up my knee, so come on, c’mere darling. You like the sound of wet food, ri- oh for fucks sake, don’t go further away.”

Okay, this was getting kind of ridiculous. Karkat wasn’t sure what drew him onto his porch other than the fact that he just couldn’t watch this anymore.

“Hey.” Karkat called out. Dave jumped like he’d forgotten other people could see him outside acting like a lunatic. “Do you need help?”

“Oh, hey man.” The cooing voice had turned off and was replaced with false casualness. “Sorry if I woke you or something, it’s just my cat decided to make a fuckin’ run for it. I’ll get her, though, don’t worry about it.”

“Let me see what I can do.” Karkat said before he could think it through. He was already walking over to the fence, though, so it wasn’t like he could back out now. He somehow managed to climb over it without completely falling on his ass, and then he and the cat were behind the same bush. Princess Diana of Southern Texas stared at him like ‘how the fuck did you get here?’ but she didn’t give any more complaint than a single betrayed yowl when he scooped her up in his arms.

“Holy shit.” Dave whispered in awe. “Bro, she doesn’t even let me hold her, the fuck.”

“I have plenty of experience in picking up ornery cats, trust me.” Karkat scratched her under the chin, and she suddenly looked a lot less ornery as her golden eyes drooped shut in satisfaction. “Are you gonna get the door or what?”

“Oh, fuck, yeah.” Dave jogged ahead of him to the door and Karkat gently tossed the cat inside. Dave shut the door before she could make a run for it again. “Seriously, I owe you so much, dude. Where the fuck did you learn to wrangle cats like that?”

“Like I said, I have a lot of experience. If you counted the number of people she tolerates on your hands, the result would be one solitary middle finger.” Karkat demonstrated and was pleased when it startled a single solitary laugh out of his neighbor.

“Can I meet him?” Dave asked, and Karkat blinked at him. Dave immediately looked embarrassed. “Uh, after I get dressed, that is. Or not, sorry, I dunno why I asked.”

Karkat did the mental math and decided fuck it, his morning was already abnormal. “I can’t give any promises he’ll like you, but sure, I guess.”

“Cool. Be right back, dude.” Dave disappeared inside, leaving Karkat to stand on his back porch, questioning his life decisions.

Karkat eventually decided it was probably for the best if he got dressed too since he was still wearing the sweatpants and thin t-shirt he’d slept in. He’d only just managed to pull on a clean pair of jeans when Dave knocked at his door.

“Do you like pears?” Dave blurted out before Karkat could even greet him.

“The fuck.” Karkat stared at him blankly. “Uh, yeah, I guess I like pears?”

“Do you want some?” Dave held up a bag of pear, and Karkat continued to look bewildered. “It’s just- My friend Jade grows pears, and she offered me some and I was like ‘sure, why the hell not’ because I thought she’d give me, like, four maybe, but she gave me eighty-two pears, and I just. I have no fucking use for eighty-two pears. So I thought maybe you’d like some as, like, thanks for making sure my cat’s attempt to tap into her wild roots didn’t extend past our cute little suburban fence.”

“I don’t- You don’t have to pay me for saving your cat’s life! I was just being a good samaritan for once in my goddamn life! Maybe this will be the one thing to tip the karmic scales and get the universe to stop fucking me over, but you don’t-”

“Karkat.” Dave cut him off. Karkat was surprised he remembered his name. “I have eighty-two pears. This is more for my benefit than yours.”

Karkat heaved a great sigh and took the bag of pears. “Fine. You wanted to see TB - she’s on the couch.”

“TB?” Dave asked, peering over at the couch while Karkat led him inside.

“Trash Bag. My cat.”

“Doesn’t TB also stand for tuberculosis?”

“What’s your point.”

Dave huffed a laugh. “Where is she?”

“Right here.” Karkat dropped the pears on the kitchen counter, then went to the couch to scoop up the gray lump of fur. Said gray lump of fur yowled like a diseased possum getting tossed around in a garbage truck. Dave gasped in barely restrained delight.

“Dude, I thought she was a throw pillow.”

“Sometimes she acts like one.” Karkat huffed, petting Trash Bag’s head. She’d started purring as soon as she realized it was him holding her, and drool was already starting to collect in the folds of her squashed face.

“Can I pet her?”

“You can try.” Karkat held her out a little, and Dave extended a hand for her to sniff. Trash Bag turned amber eyes on him, immediately identified him as Not-Karkat, and fluffed up even more than she was naturally, a congested growl forming in her throat.

“Yikes.” Dave pulled his hand away.

“Yeah, she’s like that.” Karkat pulled her back to his chest and she went back to her gloopy purring.

“She sure likes you though.”

“There’s probably some sick irony that the cat that doesn’t like anyone likes the most unlikable person.” Karkat rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t resist cooing a little when TB licked his finger.

“I don’t think you’re unlikable.” Dave said. Karkat looked up and found him wearing a similar expression to when he asked if he could meet his cat: the look of someone whose mouth has a tendency to say things before his brain catches up.

“No fucking offense, but you don’t really know me.”

“I mean. Yeah, no, I don’t, but. I dunno, you seem like a cool dude?” Dave scratched at the curls at the back of his head. “I know I haven’t really been that neighborly, but I’m having some friends together this weekend, and uh. Well, we’re calling it a ‘barbecue’-” He said with gratuitous quotation marks, “But it’s more like a potluck where Jade dumps all her excess fruits and vegetables on my table and Jake declares he definitely knows how to grill better than we do - which he does, but that’s not saying much - and June brings a metric fuckton of weird snacks she impulse bought at an Asian grocery store. You can come? If you want? You don’t have to, but it could be fun, um. If you want. And if my friends get too overwhelming, you can always duck inside and hang out with my cats.”

Karkat considered the offer, surprised. Trash Bag grunted at him and he resumed scratching under her chin. “Yeah, fuck it, why not. I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Hell yeah. Just come over at like five on Saturday.” Dave bounced on his heels a little bit, fidgety. “Nice to meet you, Trash Bag.” She wheezed, and Dave huffed a short laugh. “See you later, man. Thanks for the help.”

“Don’t mention it. Keep Princess Diana inside more, alright?”

“I’ll do my best.” Dave gave him a half wave, then jogged down the front stairs and meandered to his house.

Well. Karkat supposed he could have worse neighbors.

#karkat vantas #dave strider #davekat #homestuck #no editing we die like men #my writing #okay to reblog #the eighty-two pears are based on something that actually happened to me recently lmao #my mom went to pick pears at a neighbor's house #and she just KEPT GIVING HER MORE #WE HAD THIRTEEN POUNDS OF PEARS. EIGHTY TWO OF THEM.#we've made pear pie and pear sauce and we still have SO MANY #anonymous #asks

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haruki-ya · 6 years ago

Text

A Place to Crash (And Burn)

Summary: Kai and Kaneda yell at each other a little bit and cry over cry baby Tetsuo. There’s lots more to it than that, but like kinda a lot....so read on if you truly dare.

A/N: REPOSTING this cause fuck it y not I ain’t ever gonna be fully happy with anything I write and I must come to terms with that by EMBRACING the ART of IMPERFECTION. She a thicc one tbh, close to 7,000 words wow (do u see why i said read on if u dare), but from a new character perspective that I was hesitant to try writing in and have @fridge-04 and @totallylegitakirafic to thank for so hey! thank you ! I think my attempt turned out all right! also totallylegit, can you spy with your little eye the Makiko reference? lol enjoy my LOVES <3

Kai couldn’t really say the loud knocking on his door at one in the morning woke him up because he had already been awake, lying in bed in the dark thinking about things of the past.

It had been a rough week, a sleepless week. One spent mourning a death that others celebrated. One spent missing a friend who others considered an enemy. Kai doesn't think there will be any closure for the surviving townspeople any time soon, even three years after the great fall of Neo Tokyo.

Most of their homes are still in shambles and they like to be angry anyway. Kai will admit it’s a more fulfilling emotion than hopelessness.

Kai waits a minute before rolling out of bed. There are only a handful of people who would come knocking on his door at this hour, but that means they’re familiar enough to know he likes to end his night early to start his day earlier. So whoever this is must not care or must know that he’s not sleeping. Or it’s an important matter, but that’s pretty unlikely.

As Kai stumbles through the dark of his loft towards the door, tripping over stray clothes and a stack of old newspapers, he hears voices from the outside. Kei’s annoyed tone rings out strong.

“...come on, I can’t entertain this behavior tonight. I’ve got to meet up with Chiyoko soon, you know that Kaneda.” There’s a mumbled response that Kai doesn’t catch, probably from Kaneda, as he opens the door to a sight that he isn’t really surprised to see.

Kei is dressed in cool, neutral tones and struggling to hold up the swaying form of Kaneda, who reeks of booze and cigarette smoke under her arm, obviously more fucked up than he’s been in a while. Her face is steely with annoyance under the brim of her cap, but when her eyes meet his there is a poorly concealed concern that makes Kai sigh suddenly and drop his shoulders. There’s also a badly hidden plea for help.

“Hello Kai. I really hate to ask this, but can you look after him for a while?”

“Uh…what?” Is the most eloquent response Kai can manage. Kaneda’s stilted voice cuts in before Kai can properly respond, but to be fair he doesn't even really know what to say.

“M’fine Kei, I don’t needa be babysat by a kid.” And that kinda stings, cause hello to you too asshole, and he’s younger than Kaneda sure, but he usually acts more mature than his childish ass and the digs at his age have been few and far in between since Yamagata passed...since the Capsules fell apart. Kai only manages to be annoyed by the comment.

Kei swats Kaneda over the head and pushes him against the wall next to Kai’s door, anger bursting across her face. Kaneda rubs at his head and tries to straighten to his full height and glare at Kei, but his gaze is unfocused and more squinted in what Kai would assume is pain than anger. Kai narrows his eyes at them and stifles a yawn suddenly behind his hand, unimpressed with their familiar antics. If they came all the way here to bother him, they're off to a good start.

“Cut it out Kaneda! I’ve had it with your bullshit attitude this week. I know things are tough for you right now, but that’s no excuse to treat your friends like garbage just to make yourself feel better!” Kei turns on Kai before Kaneda gears up to answer and ignores whatever he mumbles under his breath. It sounds suspiciously like “bitch” to Kai and now he kinda understands Kei's anger. He’s never stooped so low as to glare so fiercely at her while saying that. Kai is becoming more and more confused.

“I need to meet Chiyoko and the others, an emergency meetings been called. Some cultists have been gathering around the old stadium and rumor has it they’re planning something there during daylight. I can’t be dragging his drunk weight with me, he’ll only slow me down and annoy me to death before we’d arrive.” Kaneda snorts and pushes up from the wall and brushes past Kai into his dark apartment, cursing when he trips over something that clatters loudly. Kei’s eyes don’t leave his face, but the sharpness of her gaze wavers.

This is gonna be fun.

“Uh… so your first thought was to dump him on me? ” Kai's response is more of a statement than a question really. He's still kind of lost to this whole situation. It’s been a while since he’s seen Kaneda or Kei, though they’re practically a package deal now a days, and while he is glad to see them, always, part of him also feels bitter for being left out of their orbit for this long and suddenly be expected to so easily be pulled right back into it.

Ever since the distance started growing between Kai and Kaneda, and subsequently Kei too, he's dedicated more and more of his time to volunteering around the city doing odd jobs for people: moving rubble, cleaning up trash, helping deliver food. He does it in the hopes that maybe his dedicated efforts as one will equal out to the prior three. Kai hangs out at a friend of Joker’s shop in his spare time too and does his best to learn from the mechanic, but much of the slang Joker and his pals use still goes over his head. His habit of journaling and note taking has helped greatly though, a by product of an overactive brain and an inability to keep details oriented. Kaneda could probably benefit from that too.

Kaneda and Kei used to volunteer with him, used to stay over all the time and help at the local shelter down the block from Kai’s apartment, but when the power was restored to all the remaining blacked out city blocks and a semblance of order returned to the city, Kei’s Rebel group was quick to get in touch and reignite their cause. Kei didn’t really ask Kaneda to join her, or become what many call her right hand man, but he rose to the occasion better than anyone could have expected. Kai never got a formal invitation to join their ragtag team of rebels either, but he would have politely declined any how. He’s had enough action for a lifetime thank you very much, and he knows he wouldn't have filled any shoes as well as Kaneda could. No surprise there. He's not really bitter about it.

Kaneda is hard to pin down these days, becoming more of a myth than a real man, but where Kei is he’s not far off. She got him involved with many of the old resistance outposts that double as relief shelters, not quite done with their original purpose. As Kei said, there are still people praying to the dead and gone “Lord Akira”. They’re desperate enough to believe that someone with the power to take so much away, to cause so much devastation, can just as easily bring it all back.

If only it were that easy.

They’re relatively harmless, just a scattered group of vagabonds looking for some kind of purpose in this fucked up place, but sometimes they get a little too close to things they shouldn't. Sometimes they wind up in possession of objects that three years ago were dangerous in the wrong hands, fatal in the right ones. The remaining resistance members, as well as the spirited youth who join the cause daily, have taken it upon themselves to squash any and all attempts to get too close to something that can’t simply be reburied in rubble. The emergency meeting must be important.

Today is the third anniversary of Tetsuo’s death after all and cults tend to believe in the religious power of symbolic resurgence.

Kei’s face softens as a light pours out suddenly from somewhere behind him, and her eyes follows suit as they both listen to Kaneda rifle around his fridge, probably looking for more booze. His attitude makes sense now that he's put two and two together, and Kai sighs again, sadly this time. He feels bad all of a sudden for being difficult.

“I’m sorry to come here like this Kai, with him, after we haven’t properly visited in a while...but I think it would be good for him to spend some time with an old friend. Maybe talk about whatever is making him want to drink himself unconscious with someone who can...better understand.”

Kai tries for a smile and it sort of works, despite feeling a little stiff on his face. He feel’s like there’s something else Kei isn’t telling him, another shoe that’s waiting to be dropped. There always is with these two.

Kei’s eyes narrow as the light from the fridge slowly shrinks and Kaneda moves onto his cupboards, opening and closing them a little too loudly for the time of night. Good think this floor of the building is mostly abandoned.

“I don’t trust him alone right now.” She says lowly, and there it is. Kai can’t really blame her and also can't turn either of them away even if he wanted to so he sighs, again, and braces himself against the doorway.

“Yeah, I understand Kei, last year was pretty rough too. We got him through it though, and we, eh...I'll do it again. We always look out for each other after all.” Kei looks relieved by his words but far from consoled. Kaneda trips again in his apartment but looks to have stumbled into a lamp as a minute later light spills out behind him once again. It highlights the conflict on Kei’s face.

“Thank you. I’ll be back sometime in the early afternoon. I owe you one Kai.” He shakes his head at that and sends her a smile.

“No you don’t. He’d do the same for me if he had to. Be safe out there Kei and kick some Akiraist ass for us. ” Kei smiles softly and puts a hand on his shoulder for a moment before turning and walking briskly down the hallway, gone from his sight in just four paces. Leaving him alone with a moody drunk in his apartment.

Right, he should check in on that.

Kai closes the door and takes a moment to brace himself before he turns around into the living room, finds Kaneda sprawled on the futon, one leg hanging off the back, an arm over his eyes. His boots are kicked off haphazardly by the lamp and his jacket a makeshift pillow under his head. His other hand holds a bottle of liquor Kai didn’t even know he had. Leave it to Kaneda to sniff out any hidden spirits.

“Hey. Welcome. Make yourself at home, please I insist.” Kai intones dryly and settles into a sitting position on the floor, back against his makeshift coffee table. Kaneda grunts in reply.

“Long time no see Kaneda. I thought you said you weren’t gonna be a stranger?” Kaneda makes another noncommittal sound before throwing his arm from his face to take a swig of, what is that, aged whiskey? Why does Kai even have that?

“That’s gross, dude. How much have you had to drink today?” Kaneda’s reply is wet and rough.

“Not enough.” And Kai sighs. It had been pretty much the same last year.

The previous anniversary, Kai had met up with Kaneda by chance at some back alley bar downtown. They shared a drink or two (or three) before Kai had managed to coax Kaneda outside for a walk, after letting the numbing buzz of booze kick in of course. While Kai counted that as a win, Kaneda had been plastered at two in the afternoon and adamant against parting with the bottle of brandy he snatched from behind the counter when the barkeep turned his back.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so successful in coaxing Kaneda to leave the bottle behind.

Any other day, he wouldn't have minded indulging in their old ways of competitive drinking, but something about the idea left a bad taste in his mouth that day. Whether from the memory of vomit or just the thought of who would always be seated by his side for drinking competitions, Kai can't say.

They exchanged laughs and jokes for a while, aimlessly walked through the poorly reconstructed streets before they wandered along the memorial wall of pictures pinned up in the wake of so many deaths.

An unprecedented amount.

Kai had felt nostalgic all day, a heavy feeling that sat in his gut and curbed his smiles a little, and wasn't really bothered to wind up there. His mother had always taught him to pay his respects to the dead anyhow so Kai once again talked Kaneda into a walk, this time along the memorial wall where there was nothing to look at but smiling faces frozen in happiness, endless notes displaying declarations of love and everlasting peace. Vases of flowers, new and old, lined the base of the wall along with a few stuffed animals and makeshift shrines. He had idly thought about how nice it would be to stumble upon the picture he left of him, Kaneda and Yamagata a year prior. That would be something nice to smile about.

The memorial stretched on for what felt like miles, but Kai walked the whole length of it regardless, nodding respectfully to those who passed him by, not noticing Kaneda’s growing silence or the way he had started to slow down in front of Kai. It was easy to get lost in the sea of faces. He had figured Kaneda was simply being contemplative, and well, Kai wasn't wholly wrong.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when he ran into Kaneda’s back and almost knocked over a vase full of wilted flowers trying to stay balanced.

“Let’s make a toast. To those who aren’t here today to drink with us.”

Kaneda’s voice had been rough, almost choked, but Kai couldn’t see his face when he laughed a sour note, when he overturned his bottle of brandy carelessly onto the vase Kai almost broke with it’s sad, dying flowers. They still had meaning, a purpose though, something more grand than being doused in shitty booze.

A significance in their decay.

“A toast to all those sorry bastards who died for nothin’.”

A meaning still in death.

Kai had stood frozen for a moment, not really comprehending what he was seeing, what he was hearing. Looked from the growing puddle of liquor at their feet, to the back of Kaneda’s loud jacket as he suddenly jolted into movement and tucked into an alley off to their left. Kai didn’t move until the now empty bottle Kaneda had been holding smashed into the alley wall, breaking into shards of glimmering glass that crunched loudly under his feet. Kai startled and felt something unpleasant bubble hot under his skin, coil tight in his gut.

It was rage.

“What the fuck!” Kai had run after Kaneda when the cold disbelief drained from his body and the hot fury replaced it. He noticed, a little too late, the stagger to Kaneda’s step, the sluggishness in his pace. The tell tale signs of someone too far gone to care about their actions.

When Kai reached Kaneda, he had damn near tackled him in the back alley, furious and emboldened by his blatant disrespect, at being ignored, at the pain and anger that had been stewing within Kai for a little bit too long, released by the stupidity of Kaneda’s actions. He had thought that childishness was behind them.

“Kaneda! What the fuck was that? How could you be so disrespectful?” His voice had felt shrill in his ears, anger fueling the boldness in his words. Kaneda staggered under the weight of Kai’s body, but did not tip over. Only turned to glance at Kai over his shoulder before attempting to shrug off his hold and continue on but Kai held tight.

“Hey asshole! Stop ignoring me. What's your problem?” Kaneda’s shoulders had tensed at that and he spun suddenly on his feet, almost making himself and Kai topple over. His face was a mess of emotions and his breath reeked of brandy. Kaneda had always been taller than him, but now he absolutely towered over Kai, who recoiled slightly in disgust, slightly in discomfort.

“My problem? All those dead people. My problem? Knowing who killed em. My problem? Playin a part in it!” Kai hadn’t seen Kaneda like that in a while, that angry and upset, that ready to pick a fight instead of end one. The snarl on his face was pure malice and his eyes burned with regret, glassy and shining with unshed tears that Kaneda wouldn't let himself cry. Kai was suddenly at a loss for words as Kaneda continued, looking right through him.

“Fuck! All those dead people. All the destruction. All by the hands of a fuckin power crazy kid, God...what’s my problem? Hah, what isn't my problem.” Kaneda’s voice dropped in volume, trailed off into a mumble as he turned and started walking away from Kai, who stood frozen in the middle of the alley. What had that been? Where the hell had that outburst come from?

“Kaneda…” Kai didn’t know what to say, didn’t know where to start dissecting that obvious cry for help. Not even in their first few weeks after the explosion had Kaneda been so volatile and bothered. Not noticeably.

“Kai."

Kaneda’s voice rung out loudly in response a moment later, fell hollow on his ears. Kaneda shoved his hands in his pockets, and paused for one moment longer, before continuing on. “Sorry for scaring ya. Don’t follow me. And don’t worry either. M’gonna be just fine.”

And Kai really didn’t know what else to do but listen and believe as Kaneda disappeared out the mouth of the alley. He wasn’t sure he would want to follow him anyway with the unpredictability of liquor fueled sadness up his sleeve. Kai went back to the memorial after a long moment of consideration and did his best to clean up the puddle of alcohol Kaneda left behind.

It was the least he could do.

The next day, Kaneda hadn’t really acted any differently than normal. Aside from complaining about a headache and sporting some new bruises on his knuckles that Kai didn’t dare to question him about, he was relatively the same happy go lucky, good natured guy he had always been. Kai was relieved, but couldn’t help but think that wouldn’t be the last time he saw that side of Kaneda.

He’s sad to know that he was right.

“I heard from Tanaka that you’ve started your own kiddy care center at the Old Town base camp.” Kai does his best to try and lighten the mood, both for his sake and Kaneda’s. Get their minds off the pressing matter, the elephant in the room. Small talk, he’s relatively good at that.

“I gotta say, I’m not surprised. You always have been the big brother type.” Kaneda snorts a little at that, and glances at him out of the corner of his eye. There’s a faint smile on his dry lips.

“Yeah...m’not always so good at the ‘let’s-get-down-to-business’ and stay on the topic of business thing. Annoys the hell outta Kei as you know, but I help where I can and they’re good kids.” Kai smiles and opens his mouth to make a dig about Kaneda goin' soft on him when he’s cut off as Kaneda keeps talking.

“There’s a kid there that reminds me of Tets...when he was younger. Real shy, real sweet. Got lots of hidden anger. Her mom died in a building collapse a few weeks back and I was the one who found her afterwards...she’s got no one else. She’s all alone now.”

Kai’s words get stuck in his throat, and he swallows hard around the lump they’ve formed there. Kaneda takes another swig of alcohol, and Kai watches as a drop slips out his mouth and through the stubble on his chin, along the column of his throat. It glimmers in the light and catches on his adams apple that bobs with long gulps. Kai's throat burns just watching.

“How long are you going to blame yourself?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them, but he doesn’t regret saying them. It’s a question that’s been on Kai’s mind for a while now, one that’s probably lingering somewhere in the back of Kaneda’s own. His mouth barrels on before his mind can stop him.

“It wasn’t your fault. We did all we could for him Kaneda. You know that right?” Kai isn’t really expecting an answer, or if anything a response in the quiet, subdued tone Kaneda uses. His arm is back to shielding his eyes.

“No, I don’t think we did.”

“Well, I think you’re stupid for believing that. And I think it's disrespectful to Tetsuo to say that too.” And maybe he regrets saying that a little bit, but Kai has recently become less and less afraid to say what’s on his mind. Less and less afraid to express himself and assert his opinion. Kaneda doesn’t look impressed though, by the piercing glare he suddenly sends Kai’s way, arm resting on his forehead now.

“And I think you don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin bout Kai. Now shaddup, I came here to crash not to do couch therapy.” Kai usually isn’t so quick to rile, so quick to rise to the bait, but he’s played this game of intimidation one too many times to simply back down. To simply let Kaneda have the last word here. The topic is too important to brush under the rug any longer.

“You didn’t come here to crash, you were brought here before you crashed. Which is what you’re doing! Crashing! And burning too by the looks of it! Kei didn’t trust you enough to leave you alone, and I don’t blame her. You’re acting like a dumb reckless baby.” And that really ruffles Kaneda’s feathers the wrong way. He shoots up like a jackknife, eyes furious and focused.

“What the fuck do you know about anything, huh? What do you know about Tetsuo? You never really liked him anyway, you and Yama always thought he was a lost cause or some shit. Who are you to suddenly tell me what I did and didn’t do for ‘im? Fuck that! Fuck you!” But Kai’s still not backing down. In fact, he stands up so he’s looking down on Kaneda, a position he’s rarely been in even after growing a few inches over the years.

It doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would.

“No Kaneda, fuck you! You can’t keep acting like what happened is your problem and yours alone. Like you’re the only one who has a right to be sad, to mourn. I miss him. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for what happened because of him. And I feel bad about what happened to him, but Kaneda, we did our damn best to help him! To help the whole town! What point is there in wallowing in the past when it’s behind us? You know? What point is there in blaming yourself for his death when it wasn’t your fault!”

Kai pauses for a minute and his chest is heaving. Kaneda is looking at him with wide eyes, clouded with an emotion Kai can’t really decipher. He pushes on and hopes Kaneda will hear him.

“Everything that happened three years ago to the day, Kaneda, it was out of your control. Not your fault. There were bigger forces at work the whole time, strings being pulled and moves being made that we couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Not your fault! What is your fault is letting your sad, self deprecating emotions turn you bitter and unapproachable to your friends. It’s your fault for letting that anger and pain tear you apart and for letting it tear apart your friends too. I love you Kaneda, you’re my brother, you’re family and it sucks to see you so down right now but look around you man….you’re not the only one in pain. You’re living in a town trapped in anger and sadness, how much more do you want to keep contributing to that?”

After a long moment of silence between them, of intense unbroken eye contact, Kai turns away from Kaneda and heads towards the kitchen. He said his two cents, and if Kaneda is going to stonewall him and ignore what he has to say again, fine. So be it. He's dealt with that before. But Kai, unlike Kaneda, isn’t okay with holding onto those negative emotions until they tear him apart. He learned the consequences of that lesson a long time ago with his mother.

He fills up a cup with tap water and hears Kaneda clear his throat once, twice. “Kai…” Kaneda’s voice calls weakly to him from the living room, sounding worn and older than it is. “Did I ever tell you how I met Tetsuo?” He hasn’t .

“You haven’t.” He takes a big drink and waits a beat before making his way back towards the living room. Kaneda is still sitting up, but his head is cradled in his hands, shoulders slumped in defeat. Kai sits this time with his back against the futon, shoulder flush with Kaneda’s leg. Kai can feel a tremor run under Kaneda’s skin.

“We were kids when we met in some shitty school orphanage. He came a week or so after I did and I guess I didn’t really notice him at first, or care bout him. But one day...I saw some kids giving him a hard time. Pushing him around, laughing at him, calling him names. They stole his only toy and laughed when he cried. Real jerks those kids. The worst part though was how he didn’t even fight back. Just let em knock him around and push his buttons.” Kai listens in silence, gaze fixed on the glass in his hands.

Is it half empty or half full?

“I didn’t understand why he just let it happen until I saw his face, cause I sure as hell wouldn’t have let those jerks have their fun with me when I first showed up but...He looked so hopeless. He was such a sad kid, Kai, like...all his anger and all his pride, swap that with sadness and insecurity. I’m sure you saw it, he was shit at hiding his true feelings despite how tough he always acted...so childish.

“And I don’t know, I just...got so angry, seeing how little he cared to stand up for himself and how the kids just jumped on that weakness like a pack a wild dogs. I kicked their collective asses and got Tetsuo’s toy back for him. Took him under my wing after that and then we were Kaneda and Tetsuo, rulers of the playground…Kaneda and Tetsuo, founders of the Capsules. Kaneda and Tetsuo, brothers till the end...somethin in me just always wanted to protect him, cause he was so bad at doin it himself. I told him as much and he was glad for it at first, started to resent my help as we grew up though. I think he felt I was looking down on him or somethin', but I just...couldn’t help but want to protect that stupid, sad, reckless kid I always saw in him, crying all alone on the playground. Lookin like he needed help but not knowing how to ask.”

Kai still keeps quiet. Some part of him had always thought Kaneda and Tetsuo were actually brothers, or maybe cousins at the least despite not really looking alike. Their kinship and familiarity stemmed into something deeper than just friends, a fierce affection that Kaneda expressed in overzealous jokes and jibes, that Tetsuo showed in tolerant indignation and annoyance. Kai only understands it now, having a similar relationship himself with Kaneda. And he can kind of understand too where Tetsuo’s anger came from.

Kaneda is a great guy. Goofy, sure, carefree, considerably, but he is fiercely loyal and more clever than anyone gives him credit for. A natural born leader with his charisma, he’s always been destined for great things despite preferring to pop pills and joke around.

That’s where some of the anger comes into play.

Someone like Kaneda, someone who naturally exudes confidence and a strong presence, who makes standing up for himself look natural and effortless, he’s the kinda person Kai would be jealous of if he didn’t admire him so much, if he wasn’t lucky enough to call him family. Tetsuo always had a hard time being open, holding connections. Trusting that kindness wasn’t fueled by pity, and jokes weren’t sincere. Kai can imagine very well how hard it might have been feeling perpetually trapped in someone's else’s shadow, especially one as large as Kaneda's.

Kaneda sniffs suddenly and shakes his head within the cradle of his hands, rakes his fingers through his hair a few times before laughing wetly.

“Stupid Tetsuo, always causing me problems. Always leaving me to clean up after him even beyond the grave.” And Kai kinda cracks a smile at that one, glances up at Kaneda and blanches at what he sees. From his spot on the floor, he has a perfect view of Kaneda’s wrecked face.

There’s an impression of a smile on his lips, twisted into more of a grimace than anything. His eyes shine with tears that drip onto the floor like a waterfall, like rain in the desert after years of a brutal drought. He laughs again, or tries to, but it turns into a bitter sob that knocks him back into the futon with a sound of defeat.

Kai would normally jump up to offer comfort and words of reassurance at the sight of a friend in pain, but he’s sensed this coming for a long time now. Kei must have too. While surprising, it’s also completely expected and Kai knows that Kaneda is the type who needs to ride it out, needs to get to the bottom of his well of untapped emotions to move on from them. So he politely looks away as Kaneda proceeds to lose his usually cool composure and sits in silence as his heart aches for his friend.

For his friends.

“Fuck, I hate him Kai. I fuckin hate him. What a piece of work, a dumb fuckin asshole! I hope he’s rolling over in his grave right now, hope he hears me talking shit bout him from the great beyond. Because he's the worst ! A dumb, selfish, egotistical maniac! God, I’ll be living with his reckless messes for the rest of my life and he just got a free pass. Got a goddamn one way ticket far away from this shit circus of a town that he fucked halfway to hell. Left it all behind like it was the easiest thing, like it all meant nothing. What a jerk!” Kaneda is in near hysterics thanks to the combined liquor and outpouring of repressed emotions, caught between a mix of yelling, laughing, and crying. A truly impressive feat, if Kai says so himself.

“All those night we stayed up late talkin’ about how we were gonna change the world, how we were gonna, fuck, fix this broken town not-not break it beyond repair! In the end there wasn’t even a we anymore, not even an us. Just a -just him. Just Tetsuo. All that mattered to him in the end was his stupid, dumb self. Pathetic, he never even liked himself, that’s why I was there!”

Kai hands him his glass of water silently after Kaneda’s rant reaches an intermission and he downs it in three gulps. Takes a minute, thankfully, to dry his eyes and get control over his breathing. Kai just sits next to Kaneda and leans a little more heavily against his leg. Thinks about how weird it is to hear Kaneda sound so torn over someone leaving him behind for once. Kaneda’s scratchy voice speaks softly by his head.

“Fuck that... fuck him. Stupid cry baby bastard, can’t believe I had an ungrateful brat like that as my friend…but fuck, I still miss him sometimes Kai. Sometimes...sometimes I wan’t him back.” Kai sighs for what feels like the millionth time that night, but it’s equal parts sadness and equal parts relief. The air around them feels different suddenly, somber now instead of stifled.

Kai get’s where Kaneda is coming from, maybe not fully but well enough. He didn’t know a lot about Tetsuo before he became a wrecking ball to the town, didn't know much beyond what Kaneda would tell him or what Tetsuo himself would let slip when he was too drunk to know any better. He knows that Tetsuo was never all bad though, never quite the type Yamagata pegged him as either despite the shit he did, even to Yamagata himself.

Tetsuo too was a victim to something greater than himself, to a power larger than the confines of his earthly body. It’s taken a while to forgive his friends indiscretions and while Kai will never forget them, he thinks it’s past time to really start healing from them.

“So do I Kaneda.” Kai whispers the admission softly, almost hesitant to feel the things he does for a friend he too sometimes thinks he failed. “I know we never got along as well as the two of you, but I cared about him all the same and sometimes I wish things had gone differently. But what happened, happened, and I think he’s in a better place now, and us, we’re making the best out of what we’ve got...which, might I remind your stubborn ass, is each other.”

Kai picks himself up off the ground and plops down on the futon next to Kaneda, feeling a fatigue wash over him and settle bone deep. Kaneda radiates heat like a furnace and kinda smells bad, but his eyes are dry now, albeit puffy and red. His gaze is far away, stuck somewhere in the past, but he nods his head idly in response to Kai’s statement because they both know it's true. That sentiment has been the core of the Capsules since day one, ‘look out for our own, take care of our own: we’re all we’ve got’.

Always. No doubt about it.

“You look like you’ve got pink eye.” He says instead of just about anything else he probably should say, once again to lighten the mood, and Kaneda’s lips twitch before blooming into a wry smile.

“Well yea, I did just cry my heart out to you.” Kai can’t fight a smile either.

“Yup, just like a dumb reckless baby. No wonder the two of you got along so well, you weren’t so different after all. ” And Kaneda finally laughs something that doesn’t sound horribly bitter and sad.

They spend most of the night catching up and retelling stories about their childhood days, reveling in the golden light of the past. The usual hesitance to mention Tetsuo’s name is gone from their mouths, and they freely talk about all the stupid shit they did together, all the drunken times they had, all the recklessly childish things they honestly don’t know how they got away with. Kaneda maybe cries again once or twice, but Kai joins in and it’s a free for all of feelings, a cathartic visit for the both of them.

They collapse the futon and fall asleep right around the time the sun rises, and Kai doesn’t wake up on his own for once. The weight of another body settling on the futon jolts him into consciousness and he’s only slightly confused at the shy smile Kei sends him as she slips off her shoes and sets her coat on the floor. It’s a sight that’s very familiar to him despite having spent months alone in this apartment and he automatically scoots over some to make more room for Kei.

“You didn’t answer when I knocked, so I decided to let myself in.” Kai nods at her answer because it sounds plausible enough and he’s had worse people break into his apartment before. She stretches before lying down next to Kai, making him feel like a sardine squeezed in tightly between Kaneda’s back and Kei’s side. Kaneda snores suddenly and mumbles something in his sleep that sounds like “udon” to him and Kei rolls her eyes as Kai stifles a yawn, still closer to being asleep than awake.

“How did the meetin' go?” Kei hums to acknowledge she heard him before closing her eyes and sighing out her nose. She doesn’t respond for a long moment, but he doesn’t press it.

“Let’s talk about it later. Maybe over dinner?” Kai nods slowly. It must be the afternoon already if the light peeking in from the still closed curtains is any indication. Kei did say she would return around mid day. With the way she’s melting into the futon aside him, and Kaneda is snoring lightly on the other side of him, Kai imagines they won’t be moving until dinner time anyway.

“Sounds good....I can make udon ramen.” Kei hums again, and out of his peripheral he can see a slow smile spread on her face.

“Kaneda’s been talking about your ramen for months...I really am sorry we haven't been around lately.” If Kai weren’t so tired he would shrug, but his eyelids are getting heavier by the minute. If Kaneda is like a furnace, Kei is like a burning star, hotter than the sun. He’s starting to feel okay with being a sardine between these two.

“No worries. It was nice to catch up. Think we both needed to get some things off our chests anyway.”

Kai can hear the smile in Kei’s voice as she says softly, “Thank you, Kai. You’re really an amazing friend.”

Kai smiles back even though she’s probably not looking and responds, “Yeah, I am pretty great aren’t I?”

Kei’s pealing laughter (and Kaneda’s quiet snore of agreement) is the last thing he remembers hearing before falling back asleep.

#akira #heavy word vomit ughhh #i ain't even worried bout it #akira fanfic #my writing #kaisuke (akira)#kai (akira)#kaneda shotaro #kei (akira)

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5hfanfiction · 8 years ago

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FROM AFAR - CHAPTER 11

It was about eleven in the morning when we finally made it home. Nothing else was discussed about our halloween night for the time being, sleeping seemed to be the only important thing to do, besides a good shower to get the remaining paint that still lingered on our faces, of course. Most of our makeup was gone at the beginning of the party due to the heat inside that crowded place, and let’s not forget about Lauren’s face constantly brushing against mine contributed into turning our mexican skull face into an abstract painting. But that too became an intern joke, nothing was wasted in our friendship if it could make us laugh somehow.

We were walking together through the hallways of the residence hall when my room finally came to sight. When I opened the door the smell of weed instantly reached my nostrils. I also noticed my bed untucked, it was obvious someone used it at least to sit on it, it looked dirty somehow, along with some trash on the floor and on my desk. I noticed Pam in her bed watching something on her laptop and seemed a little distressed by my presence there. She clearly wasn’t expecting me coming into the room, although I always take longer to turn the key and make enough noise to make sure my presence is noticed in case she needs time to stop whatever she was doing, but that wasn’t enough this time. I couldn’t see what she was watching or doing but she seemed disturbed by the sudden presence of another person.

It was all clear to me that she had smoked inside the room, and she had some people come by the night before, people that used my bed without my permission, my clean bed, and turned my room into a pig’s mud pit, my side of the room.

I instantly put my purse on my bed and went outside. The other three girls were inside Ally’s room for some reason I don’t recall.

“Guys, come here for a second, I need you to take a look at something,” I wanted them to witness all of the shit inside my dorm. I was fucking frustrated at this point. I came home tired as fuck and I couldn’t even sleep in my own room, not with the smell of marijuana all over the place, that I hate by the way, and not in a bed that I didn’t know what or who had been on it.

“Shit, she smoked inside the room that’s for sure,” Dinah stated. They all went inside for a brief moment while I waited outside.

“Yeah, and someone was in my bed too, and there’s garbage all over the place,” I explained.

“What are you going to do? You need to report her to our mentor, Mila”

“I don’t know Ally, I’m afraid if I say something she’ll flip on me and I wouldn’t like the weird vibe inside our room, the room I have to sleep in it. Can I crash with any of you today? I’m really tired and I won’t sleep in my bed before I do the laundry”

“Sure you can stay with me, but Camz, you need to say something, you know that right?”

“Thanks Laur, but I’m too scared to do something”

“Do you want me to talk to your mentor? You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Dinah had her mind set on doing something about it, and I knew she was right and was just trying to help, they all were. But I was too coward to confront my roommate or talk about her to someone else.

“Listen, I can’t just tell her that my roommate have been smoking inside my room, she can get into some deep shit because of that. I just wish she wouldn’t do it in my room and especially without my consent”

“I understand Mila, but we have to do something, anything. I’m just gonna check if your mentor is here, you just stay quiet,” when Dinah set her mind on doing something nothing could stop her. And this time she had two wild ones beside her, so really nothing could stop them from trying to help me.

My mentor’s room was just two doors away from mine. I didn’t know what I would tell her, I didn’t want to get Pam into major problems, even she was being a real bitch. I just need a shower and to sleep, maybe eat something too. Oh, and my clean room back if possible. For my luck, my mentor wasn’t in her room, so we would have to deal with it another time. The girls weren’t satisfied but they couldn’t do much more, I would be the one to have to do something, maybe talk to Pam about it.

We split up after their failed mission, the girls heading to their respective rooms while me and Lauren stayed behind.

“I’ll just take a shower and you can come, the door will be unlocked”

“Yeah sure, I’ll take a shower too and will be right over,” at that time I wasn’t even worried about sleeping with Lauren, the tiredness and frustration taking over me. We had been sleeping together a lot lately anyway, so why the fact that my tongue was being shoved into Lauren’s throat just hours before would change that, right?

Lauren (12:54 pm): Camz

Lauren (12:55 pm): i just finished shower

Lauren (12:55 pm): i left my room open

Lauren (12:55 pm): be right back in a bit

Camila (01:01 pm): be there in a bit too

Lauren (01:01 pm): i’m here

Camila (01:06 pm): coming

The mood between me and Lauren was normal, with an exception of a little bit of shyness we were both feeling around each other, but nothing that would affect our interactions. We were both hungry but too tired to walk to the dining hall, so Lauren made us sandwiches to trick our stomachs until dinner time. So we just slept. When Lauren laid her body next to mine all my instincts came back to life, but I didn’t want to cross any line or be too pushy, we had not talked about what had happened yet and I didn’t know what she wanted to do about it. So I just let it go, there would be another time for anything to happen, if it were to happen at all.

We woke up around four in the afternoon, and I went back to clean my room and put my duvet and bed sheets in the washing machine before heading to dinner. Thankfully the conversation didn’t focus on halloween night but in my situation with my roommate. The girls wanted me to talk to her or whatever, but I didn’t wanna do it so I just agreed on speaking with my mentor some time soon.

Lauren (06:16 pm): i just wanted to say that….

Lauren (06:16 pm): i found out my lips were not hurting because of the cold

Lauren (06:16 pm): it’s hurting because someone bit on it

Lauren (06:17 pm): that’s all i wanted to say

Lauren (06:17 pm): bye

Camila (06:41 pm): omg i’m so sorry

Camila (06:41 pm): lol

Lauren (06:58 pm): mhm hahaha

Camila (07:02 pm): i got carried away

Camila (07:02 pm): seriously, i’m sorry

Lauren (07:04 pm): stop apologizing hahaha

Camila (07:07 pm): but i hurt you :((

Lauren (07:11 pm): no you didn’t

Camila (09:27 pm): babyy

Lauren (09:27 pm): me

Camila (09:30 pm): want to watch a tv show with me?

Camila (09:30 pm): i think pam is going out

Camila (09:30 pm): she asked me if i was staying in today, clearly she wants to bring someone

Camila (09:30 pm): and your roommate is sleeping there too

Lauren (09:32 pm): yess

Lauren (09:32 pm): i’m finishing cleaning my room

Lauren (09:33 pm): i’ll just put my pjs and brush my teeth

Lauren (09:33 pm): what show?

Camila (09:33 pm): do you have the detergent?

Camila (09:33 pm): greys anatomy

Camila (09:33 pm): and i have to eat too

Lauren (09:36 pm): yes i have it

Lauren (09:36 pm): hahah ok

Lauren (09:49 pm): what do you want me to bring?

Camila (09:50 pm): just the detergent

———

Lauren (12:57 pm): if you need anything just call me okay? if you want me to go with you to see the nurse

Camila (01:21 pm): thanks

Camila (01:21 pm): but it won’t be necessary

Camila (01:21 pm): i’m just not feeling good today

Lauren (01:22 pm): :((

Lauren (01:24 pm): anything, you already know i’m here

Lauren (01:26 pm): i don’t like to see you like that

Camila (01:44 pm): i know

Lauren (01:53 pm): :(

Lauren (01:53 pm): what about your test? have you taken it?

Camila (01:55 pm): i haven’t

Camila (01:55 pm): I did really bad with that paper i had to do the other day

Camila (01:55 pm): today is the worst day

Lauren (01:55 pm): oh shit

Camila (01:55 pm): i still have to study for nutrition

Camila (01:56 pm): C+

Lauren (01:55 pm): relax, don’t think like that

Lauren (01:55 pm): it was just one paper and you did well on the other

Lauren (01:55 pm): i have to study too, that’s why i don’t wanna go to the gym at night

Camila (01:57 pm): when i finish this test i’m gonna sleep before anything else

Camila (01:58 pm): i can’t even think straight

Lauren (01:59 pm): do that, rest

Lauren (01:59 pm): and pray before you sleep, it’s gonna help you

Lauren (03:46 pm): ow what a hottie

Camila (03:56 pm): ?

Lauren (03:58 pm): you walked past the gym

Lauren (03:58 pm): i thought you had your phone with you

Camila (03:59 pm): stalker

Lauren (04:41 pm): hahaha

Camila (05:54 pm): i had three of those bad dreams in row now

Lauren (05:59 pm): omg

Lauren (05:59 pm): did you pray?

Lauren (06:05 pm): you told me you had one of those books, read it up a little

Camila (06:06 pm): i’m gonna do it now

Lauren (06:06 pm): do that, as soon as i leave i’m coming by

Lauren (06:06 pm): if i hadn’t came into class already i would be back right now

Lauren (06:07 pm): are you okay to be alone?

Camila (06:08 pm): yes i am

Camila (06:08 pm): i was just scared when it happened

Camila (06:09 pm): you don’t need to worry about it

Lauren (06:13 pm): okay, if you need anything just text me

Lauren (06:14 pm): i’m here

Camila (06:28 pm): thank you!

Lauren (06:36 pm): <3

What would I do without Lauren? I was glad to have someone looking up to me as much as she were, to try to make me feel better and just being there for me in general. It was a foreign feeling, the one of being taken care of, and thank god Lauren hadn’t changed after we made out, if anything all the feelings were amplified.

Later on that same day I went to Lauren’s room like always, we refused to spend not even one night alone in the dorms. If we weren’t gathered with the girls, it was just me and her. That specific day I needed her presence, it wasn’t a good day in any aspect of my life and I just couldn’t stay alone, as much as I appreciate solitude most of the time. Being with Lauren all the time was changing my ways. All of a sudden being alone wasn’t so appealing anymore, not when I could just be with her.

While I was there Lauren received a call from her boyfriend. It felt strange to know she cheated on him with me. I was being that person I never thought I would be and that I judged so many times. I knew her relationship was doomed and he was a dick, but my consciousness was still bothering me. She answered him like nothing ever happened, and seeing her talking to him that way made my stomach growl. I was feeling uncomfortable with the fact that she seemed so relaxed and didn’t even hesitated to take his call in front of me. I know she didn’t do it out of malice but if it were me I would be more sympathetic.

He didn’t know anything about us and I could hear the whole conversation. It happens that he was a soccer player. In fact, he had been to America with a scholarship before and was applying for a new one. They were making small talk when he stated that he had a problem on his right knee and Lauren, being the good person that she was showed him her concern.

“I told you not to play this days, Paul. You should just rest and focus on getting better, babe,” and boy that didn’t sit well with him. Paul took full offense at her words when she was just trying to help him and being a good girlfriend by making him understand that getting better was the best option for him at the moment. This time I was witnessing everything, it wasn’t just Lauren telling me what had happened. He was so rude to her when she didn’t even deserve it and I just wanted to punch him through the phone if I could. They ended up arguing again and that was about it. I couldn’t speak my feelings about him to her and I had to just watch her martyrize about everything that had happened. It almost made me feel better about the whole cheating thing. Almost.

#UPDATE #series #AU #slash #camren #caminah #camally #humour #romance fluff #submission #FROM AFAR

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marulikestea · 8 years ago

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Corregidor

Last December of 2016, upon the invitation of Ian's friend Jophet, we went to Corregidor Island for a day tour. Going to this place has always been one of my bucketlist goals (local ruins, omg omg!), so when this opportunity was presented to me, I said yes in a heartbeart.

The schedule of our tour was just a day before my company’s Christmas celebration, so understandably, I didn’t have much rest and sleep prior to that day. But I was quite confident (or I prolly just gave up lol) I could wing it without much preparation so I slept soundly before dressing down to my sleeping gear.

When Saturday came, I should have known that the troll god would have other plans in store for me.

You know Murphy’s law right? That famous “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong” kind of crap thing? Well, as it happened, I’ve become a wonderful target by that law during that morning.

I'd like to delve on the details, but I thought a bulleted summary of my (and Ian's as collateral damage) misfortune would suffice:

I didn't woke to the sound of my alarm phone, but to Ian's text saying that he's already near to pick me up. And I just friggin woke up.

Since panic and lost of prep time wasn't enough, I couldn’t find my glasses; thus, I ended meeting up with Ian late;

Despite our Initial-D-mode attempts to reach MOA seaside terminal to beat the time, we took a wrong turn and ended up lost in the process. Twice.

Basically, we did a clutch move arrival (barely) and met up with the rest of the gang, LOL. Despite the close call, we managed to board the sun cruises boat without a hitch and spent an hour ride to the famous “rock” island.

While on transit, Ian and Lance saw their Chinese officemates, who were just seated at the back. It's a very small world, as they say, and Sun Cruises made it smaller when they gave out that Christmas tour promo, if you know what I mean, lol.

To kill time before our arrival, I watched the Corregidor-related videos on tv (made by Sun Cruises or NatGeo) , played Mystic Messenger on my phone and slept.

An hour later, we finally arrived at our destination.

It took awhile before the crew men managed to tie up the boat to the landing docks. After disembarking to the island, this was the sight that greeted us.

Sadly, so many floating trash could be seen at the docks (though not apparent in the image above because I cut it from view) .

From what I suspected, these wastes were taken in by the ocean waves from Manila bay.

This idea was further affirmed when I saw an bulletin board nearby, with the following words written:

“Please help in preventing garbage disposal into manila bay. Corregidor Island is suffering from this condition. Your cooperation in advocating policies to help our government in controlling sea-borne wastes is urgently needed. Thank you.”

It’s very unfortunate. I didn’t go to this place to see something like this. If I did, then I wouldn’t have left the city, since garbage such as these are always present there on a daily basis, be it objects or people.

Sigh.

Luckily enough, we didn’t stay too much on the area since the tour guides urged us to ride the orange travel buses called tramvias so as not to waste the day away.

Lorcha Dock Our first stop in the tour, which was just a few meters away from the docking area. This was MacArthur's Departure Point for Australia. Contrary to popular belief, his famous phrase “I shall return” were not uttered here, but in Australia.

A monument of MacArthur. This is also where we had our souvenir shots taken.

But regardless of that, it didn’t changed the fact that he still went back to the Philippines, even if it meant disobeying orders from his superiors just to return. Of course that entailed insubordination, but having won the war, all's well that ends well I guess.

Middleside Barracks

Our second stop, not far from the Lorcha Dock. This place is one of the signature sceneries you see when you search for Corregidor on the internet. Destroyed by Japanese bombs during the war, this is now but a husk of its former glory, with nothing but ghosts and goats to roam its vicinity.

“Nothing but goats and ghosts”, as our tour guide had mentioned.

Battery Way

Our next stop. Named after Lt. Henry Way of the 4th US Artillery, this was one of the areas were Corregidor’s heavy artillery were housed. According to the tour guide, this place was the last to surrender to the Japanese, only after firing all its rounds and exhausting the guns.

Not all open doors are welcoming.

One of the four guns in the vicinity. Had to wait for everyone to leave before getting a decent solo shot of this.

View from inside the cannon.

Battery Grubbs

Unlike the artillery from the previous battery, battery Grubbs contains the two disappearing guns used for gunning down areal assault via stealth, as far as I remember.

A selfie of us together, lol.

A triangular island from a distance, whose name and importance I’ve already forgotten.

Battery Hearn

Considered as the most powerful artillery in the island, this gun had the farthest range compared to the normal guns in the batteries recently visited.

Named after Brigadier General Clint C. Hearn.

Not far from the Hearn rests a crater site that shows how enormous a damage from an enemy strike was.

Mile-long Barracks

A long stretch along the area, this establishment used to house many soldiers and their families during those times. Now, only its memories and ruins lie in its wake.

Collapsed edges of the mile-long barracks.

Pacific War Memorial & Museum

One of the longer stops of the tour, we were given an hour of free time to roam around the vicinity, which we used up to the best of our abilities, covering all grounds as much as time would let us.

The front of the pacific war memorial.

This place is considered to be a sacred place of sorts. Light from the sun would enter from the opening above and then would shine straight at the altar, for which it was dedicated to the honorable fallen.

The musuem. There’s also a small souvenir shop at the back where I bought magnets for my mom.

This place holds some of the recovered and donated artifacts of the island during world war II. The following are images of some of the historical antiques that caught my eye:

Original American flag during world war 2: This only has 45 stars in it.

To relieve pain or to relieve death... I guess there’s no way of knowing that now.

Cats! :3

I wonder what time this clock stopped during those days...

A watch without hands of time. I guess it doesn’t need it anymore.

For some reason, I remember Captain America movie when I saw this.

Lol. I’d like to give a medal like this to some lying losers that I know but that would just tarnish the medal’s true meaning. Such a shame.

Cine Corregidor Ruins

Back in the day, the latest movies shown in the US would get released here in advance. People who lived in the island basically had a cozy and privileged lifestyle, until war came and bathe everything in flames of course.

A close up photo of moi, coz I’m too damn vain lol.

Brother in arms statue. Our tour guide made us guessed which one of the two was the Filipino and American. As so it happens, the wounded soldier was our countryman. A similar statue like this also exists in America too, apparently, but with the roles reversed.

The Spanish Lighthouse

According to our tour guide, the Spanish Lighthouse was one of the oldest establishments here in Corregidor. Destroyed and rebuilt some time in the past, this place was a trading spot back in the galleon days.

This was also the place for our lunch break and souvenir buying too.

At the top of the world. Zero fucks given, by Jophet and Lance, lol.

Them silly bois making heart shapes at us.

After scaling the lighthouse, we proceeded to the buffet area where lunch was being served. Upon stepping in the premises, we were welcomed with this earthy breezy place, together with a complimentary colorful-looking gulaman drink.

Our welcome gulaman drink. So colorful!

After securing ourselves some tables and letting Jophet, Lance and Charles get food while we kept an eye on their belongings, Ian and I went to get our grub.

Food haul from the buffet table.

The only decent pic of us, i think? And it’s with food, lol!

After one hour had past, with me rushing to gobble down all my food and suffering from indigestion in the process, we continued with the rest of the tour.

While on route to our next destination, our guide has been telling us about how the Japanese infiltrated the island, by using the caves they’ve either found or dug on their own.

One of the cave entrances where the Japanese hid themselves during invasion

Filipino Memorial Park

As the name entails, this place serves as a memorial to all the Filipino heroes of the past.

Pres. Manuel Quezon, President, Philippine Commonwealth “ I am not the president of the rich, and I am not the president of the poor either! I am the president of the Philippines, of the Filipino people, rich and poor alike. The duty of the president of the Philippines is a duty which he owes to the whole Filipino people.”

Pres. Sergio Osmenia, Sr.

Filipino Woman “Who was involved in the many events in our history and as a symbol of peace and inspiration to our gallant men in their fight for the preservation of our honor and freedom.”

The Filipino flag, the very symbol of freedom that was hardly fought and won by our forefathers of many generations.

Here’s a chronology of the Philippine History, based from the murals that adorn the whole perimeter:

Battle of Mactan (1521)

Datu Sirongan And Sultan Kudarat in Mindanao (16th -7th Century)

Bankao's Apostasy in Leyte (1621)

Sumoroy Rebellion (1645-1650)

Andres Malong of Pangasinan (1660)

Dagohoy Revolt (1744-1829)

Diego and Gabriela Silang in Ilocos (1763)

Palaris Revolt in Pangasinan (1762)

Hermano Pule Revolt (1840-1841)

Philippine Revolution (1896)

Filipino-American War (1899)

World War II (1941-1945)

Guerilla Movement

EDSA Revolution (Feb 22-25, 1986)

And at the heart of it all, is this message.

Japanese Garden of Peace

Our second to the last stop was a memorial site for the fallen Japanese soldiers during the war. According to our tour guide, the Filipinos, who had suffered at the hands of the Japanese, refused to bury their dead in the island. But unattended dead bodies could lead to further complications such as diseases, so the Americans buried the bodies.

Later on, when the war had already passed, a memorial was erected as a way appease the souls of the past and those they’ve left behind, as well as to move on from the tragedy the war had caused.

For the repose of souls

“This monument is dedicated to the souls of Filipino, American and Japanese, soldiers whose lives were given in a battle which occurred here on May 5, 1942 when our regiment of the 4th division landed on this island.

We ardently pray for the eternal repose of their souls and everlasting peace throughout the world.”

At first, I thought these were just ordinary stepping stones on the grass. Upon closer inspection, they were also headstones for the souls of Japanese soldiers.

A statue of perhaps a deity from a distance.

Malinta Tunnel

Our last stop: The lights and sounds presentation inside the Malinta tunnel. For this leg of the tour, we had to purchase tickets in order to enter the premises. We had the option to skip this part, where in this case the tramvia would drive ahead and proceed to an alternate path to reach the other side of the tunnel; but we were told that we would be missing a certain chunk of the Corregidor experience if we didn’t push through inside. Lance, being the gallant friend that he is, treated us with our tickets so we didn’t have to worry about anything else.

The ticket was worth P200 per head.

As the tunnel gates opened to admit us, we were embraced by this heavy darkness. It took awhile for our eyes to adjust, but when it did, it didn't decrease the feeling of dread and anticipation that was creeping inside. I wonder how the people of Corregidor felt when bombs kept shaking the earth beneath them.

I'm sure it was ten times worse. Even more.

Small lights located at the sides lit one by one then, beckoning us to walk further along the straight path. I held Ian's hand to make sure he was by my side when we moved.

As we reached the nearest chamber of the tunnel, sounds of past recordings played, accompanied by lights that illuminated these immortalized figures of men in gold that depicted certain events before the tunnel was overrun.

A representation of what happened inside the tunnel during the war.

Every chamber we walked passed, a page of this place's history was added. Ingrained. Again and again, this went on until we reached almost the end of the tunnel, where the Philippine flag stood still and proud. And as the presentation ended, the song of our national anthem played.

Wounded people inside the tunnel’s makeshift hospital

As the hymn ended, the doors to the other side opened, and the light of the exit came rushing forth.

Ian the tourist. :P

Ian and I were the last people to get in the bus, due to the slow trio taking pictures at the Malinta tunnel entrance (which was where we exited, ironically enough). Because of this, we earned ourselves a slow troll clap from Jophet, Lance and Charles. (Lol)

We went back to the bay area in just a short time and spent another hour travelling back to the seaside terminal in Manila. Since there was still time before sundown, the boys went cart racing, while I took a rest and ate french fries beside the track.

Overall, this experience has been a very educating and fulfilling one. I guess, this is why I like visiting old ruins, because each of these old forgotten structures hold and impart a certain piece of history that was once important to those people who lived in that era.

I've always known myself to be an old soul, so I guess I tune in pretty well in places such as this. I feel a sense of peace and nostalgia, as well as a bit of hope that not everything is lost and forgotten by time, even if that memory is a good one or a bad one.

#travel #local #philippines #corregidor #friends #history #world war 2 #ruins #relics #artifacts

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bonniejstarks · 5 years ago

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Pregnancy | The First 20 Weeks

I’m finally publishing this at 25 weeks, so I’d say I’m nailing this Motherhood thing already. I’ll probably be that person developing newborn photos when this kid is in elementary school. No really, I wanted to make sure I got all my thoughts down about what the first half of this pregnancy has been like because time felt like it was crawling until it wasn’t and now I can’t believe that we’ll be meeting baby in just a few months. This post has been a long time coming, but here goes.

We found out on Father’s Day. We’d both suspected it, as I was mildly nauseous the entire week leading up to Sunday, June 16th and besides the odd hangover, nausea isn’t something I would normally experience. I set my alarm for 7 am, unable to wait for a second longer. Adam woke up as per usual, forgetting my plan to pee on a stick. I stood alone in the bathroom and witnessed a second pink line appear for the very first time. I stepped out of the bathroom in mild shock, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

I was all over the place that first week. I happened to take a prenatal vitamin the morning we found out because we’d been sort of trying since January and I’d long before given up on taking them. Suddenly panicked about having to care for something growing within me, I took one of the large prenatals that had been sitting in the cupboard for the last few years (they weren’t set to expire until a month later, so we were still good). Except that we weren’t good. First of all, I took the prenatal vitamin in the morning and learned the hard way that to limit nausea, it’s best to take them at night. Also, I didn’t bother reading what was in said vitamin, and they were not vegetarian-friendly (I’ve been vegetarian since I was 2 years old). My system rejected me so terribly, I threw up all the celebratory pizza we’d had for dinner and more. I was finally done puking the next morning and spend the next day completely exhausted. Don’t worry, I’ve since found vegetarian prenatal vitamins and they’ve been great!

If you’d asked me last year what I envisioned the beginning of pregnancy to be like, I’d have described a dreamy movie-worthy sequence. Soft morning light, me in a gauzy white nightgown, touching my still flat tummy as I stare off reflecting on my gratitude for creating this life. What I’d never considered before conceiving, was how a surge of hormones would affect me. How the cocktail of those raging hormones combined with the worst fatigue imaginable, would lead to spending the hours of the day that you are awake feeling like absolute trash. How could I have known that I’d be so bloated that my usual clothing didn’t fit right away? That keeping everything a secret would be so tough. How insecure I’d be about not showing and having people constantly pointing it out. That I wouldn’t sleep through the night for my entire pregnancy. How I’d endure a bought of crippling depression and anxiety. You just can’t know until you know.

So yeah, the first trimester was a complete mindfuck. Baby starts out the size of a poppyseed. I remember sitting on our flight to Chicago, 4 days after finding out. I was eating a vegan lemon poppyseed loaf and I stared down at this delicious baked good, marvelling at just how minuscule an actual poppyseed was. It made it even more difficult to imagine what was happening inside my body.

The fragility of the first few months was a huge deterrent for me to feel any major bond towards this tiny growing thing. I think that not getting TOO attached was a defence mechanism and my way to protect my heart. It’s this internal struggle of excitement, a big secret, feeling like garbage, and extreme gratitude for this gift.

I think that a lack of connection (or at least the powerful kind I’d envisioned) so early is common. Paired with the isolation of no one else knowing, I believe that this along with the hormones caused the superstorm of first-trimester depression and anxiety that I didn’t even realize was a thing. I couldn’t get out of bed and when I did, I felt hopeless and depleted. Motivations levels weren’t low, they were non-existent. Every day felt like a fight to do mundane things and knowing that I was growing this baby was the only thing that forced me to get out and walk and still eat as healthy as possible. Moving and getting nutrients helped keep my symptoms fairly manageable and on the really bad days, I kept telling myself that, “tomorrow is a new day and things will be better.” And usually, they were. Seriously, if you’re in the early days of pregnancy and feel like crap, you are absolutely not alone in that, I promise you.

Adam has been incredible throughout my pregnancy, but especially within those first summer months. He stepped up so much when I was plagued with low mood and picked up the slack with everyday tasks and chores without hesitation. He is constantly thanking me for giving him this gift and for carrying and growing our baby and it’s so heartwarming. When I reached 13 weeks, he even asked for a performance review of his support during the first trimester. “Was I too much? Could I be doing more?” Gosh, he’s going to be the best dad.

I was extremely lucky and had very little nausea. I mean, it was still there, but compared to what I know some friends have had to endure, I had it very easy. Thanks to the time of year, my biggest craving was sparkling water. Couldn’t get enough of it! My only aversion seemed to be chocolate and sometimes textures bothered me (I opened up a banana one morning and immediately started dry heaving lol). Food-wise, I was really okay to eat my usual things, just in smaller portions and along with small healthy snacks throughout the day. Of course, we invested in a box of saltine crackers and I carried a few with me everywhere I went during those first weeks to keep any onset nausea at bay. It’s the strangest sensation for hunger to make you then feel like you might be sick. I’ve only had heartburn once thanks to a post-dinner bowl of lemon sorbet. My ears and throat closed, it was hard to breathe and, not to be dramatic, but I legitimately thought I was dying. I’d never had heartburn before, so I took a Tylenol and desperately tried to sleep. Luckily, I figured out it was actually Tums I needed at 3 AM and was able to sleep for a few hours. Ohhh sleep. I napped all the time in the first trimester and then would have to get up in the middle of the night to pee, but otherwise, sleep was fine. That turned into insomnia for my second trimester and I can’t go back to sleep for two or three hours every time I get up to use the bathroom in the night. So yeah, I guess I’ll catch up on my sleep in my 40s? Here’s hoping!

Looking back, I see nature’s plan now with those first twenty weeks. My perfect Hollywood scene of pregnancy is actually more representative of the second trimester (but still a total dream sequence). You need time. Mentally and physically. The first half of this pregnancy has already done an amazing job of preparing me for Motherhood. I haven’t slept through the night since I peed on a stick. I’ve had to learn a new level of patience. We’ve had to do a lot of boundary setting with people. There have been a few scary-to-us moments and what felt like tough decisions to make. Adam and I have had to be more of a unified team than ever before. Navigating days where I don’t feel like myself.

I know that more challenges are on the horizon, but I look forward to the rest of the pregnancy and can’t wait to meet this little babe. Thanks for being here on this journey with us, it’s been one wild and wonderful ride!

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mikazukikannagisjourney · 5 years ago

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Spiritual Log September 29, 2019

Subtitle: might as well be the 30th since it’s almost midnight when I started lolz also this is my entire September stuff. So this is a really, really long post

What’s in it? Well, what I did this month and how to transmute emotions. OH, and how to manage crazy energies right now.

HI everyone, I am finally back, somewhat. I guess September was a bit more manageable(?) than August, but for me, because I was also moving my stuff out from one place and moving them to another after living in there for so long, it was a mix of emotions: exhausting; scary; lotsa grief; and enlightening, to say the least. But at least I have hauled most of my stuff so I guess I am good. I just need to settle in the new place and then plan what my next move would be. Of course, as always I have to accept the fact that the universe had other plans, and fun time based on what I want right now is gonna be harder to come by.

The universe wanted me to “rest”, and by that I mean focus more on transmuting personal and family karma. So right now I have to transmute so much subtle energy garbage that I actually felt sick, exhausted, depressed, just mainly horrible 2 days after this month started. I thought it was gonna be better than August? Gahhh. Nope.

So I ended up balancing between meditating and binge-watching anime titles that only have one season. Around the 13th, the internet got cut-off so no internet, I was AFK, and also no cable so I got basically cut off for about 4 days from the net and it felt like months, no kidding. I suddenly had so many existential dilemmas left and right, I had to face my noisy thoughts for 4 days!!! I almost lost my mind then. Not that I had much to lose in the first place lol

These are among the existential crap I had to put up and ultimately caused my depression with while I started putting my things in boxes *I had nothing to do so might as well start packing lol*

Why do I have to transmute my entire lineage’s karma?

Why the fudge am I the karma bearer?

Why is my birth chart set on “extremely happy with suffering-hard core edition” mode (after seeing the birth charts of other people)

Nothing makes sense now and ever, why must I be like this?

Binge-singing songs about loneliness - and then crying with no tears

I hate being lonely but what the fudge can I do, I am not a people person (based on my human-design chart I’m an effing hermit)

Bouts of being catatonic for hours, mostly due to overwhelming feelings of anxiety due to packing and discarding stuff, and just getting too tired and lacking sleep and junk food

A whole bunch of thoughts centered on my victim mentality (I tried to kick it out by doing Kundalini yoga, it actually worked.. I had a good cry after denying it for so long)

I really, really want out, I am basically a walking blockage that has a soul

But around the middle of last week, maybe sometime after the 20th and after trying to remove blockages through the various methods I had been using, I finally felt a bit of relief. I started removing more trapped emotions from my heart wall and my body in general. I was even holding onto one of my biological mother’s trapped emotions, which she had when she was still in school. So I basically released an inherited emotion, which caused a sty in my eye. I released it and the sty went away, like what the fudge was that.

Of course, because my body likes suffering so much, I had to get one thing wrong again while I was doing Kundalini Yoga. So.. I was releasing anger and hatred because I was gonna attend a birthday party where I was expecting that many of the people who have hurt me one way or another would be present. I honestly didn’t want to get attached to the hate anymore, and just wanted to have a great time at the place, for my friends’ sake. Somehow, I did not expect that I would be maxing out my body’s spinal flexibility limits. I thought I was already over that, but I guess I pushed myself too hard again, and during that time was enjoying the fact that I was a but limber than before, so I thought I was healed somewhat. Also, I just felt so great and had no trace of anger or hate after the almost hour-long meditation (which felt like a workout, really). I thought I was gonna make it to the party without harboring hate.

Again, nope.

The next day, my chronic back pain went back. It wasn’t exactly as strong so I thought it was just a muscle spasm and massaged it out. Then I started hauling more stuff out. I must have carried so much heavy stuff but I was still able to move so I didn’t think much of it. When I woke up the next day, the shooting pains and getting zero power in my legs came back, so I ended up staying in bed the whole day. It was really a drag, I didn’t get to clean or pack things up, but honestly what made me ok with it was that at least I could use it as an excuse not to go to the party. WHich is pretty lame, yes I know, but I am also at my weakest since I was scared as shit of the old perv that might appear around me again, or I might lash out at the other two people who pretty much dented me because I had to be so stupid to let them in my life (extreme regret but can’t do anything about that now other than cut them all out). I honestly just kept thinking of excuses not to see them or be forced to interact with them but that would be awkward when you’re in a confined space. Also nobody knows what I had to go though with this bunch of people, and though I confided some of it to a good Soul Sister, the rest of the bunch won’t know, and they probably still see these three people ni high regard. Especially the old perv. Urrgh.

So... Despite the fact that I was actually looking forward to the birthday party because I could finally get out of the house and drive a long while and see some of the people I care about, especially my “adopted son” and “great-grand-daughter”, I just gave up and told the party organizer that I can’t make it due to chronic illness flare-up. Which is legit. I still thanked them for inviting me because seriously, I haven’t been back to that workplace since may and I never really went back after what, 5 months? I just used the extra time to try getting some really good rest and getting as much of my stuff transported to the new place as I could bodily can so I won’t have to do more trips. I did succeed, but by then my back pain was quite irking and I couldn’t stand up without pain or sit up so I just layed down and started thinking all that existential shit again.

Seriously it was very, very depressing at that point, but then I got guided to go check some energy readings, and lo and behold it was actually a major energetic shift due to the equinox. A whole bunch of the collective were also feeling the same shit. Lethargy. Depression. Reappearing issues. Pains and what not,. MOre dramas.

I WASN’T EFFING ALONE!!!

I guess that lifted my mood, and because I needed some even more morale boost, I went back to studing Japanese. Which, of course means listening to raw uncaptioned ASMR videos on Youtube. Them smexy voices just make me go ahhhh, ah ahh ahh--. (insert Kamisama Hajimemashita 1st Ending here lolol that song got stuck in my head but it was definitely fun) But no, seriously, I had been away from keyboard for so long (like 2 more weeks) so I decided to celebrate by watching so much junk videos on the web. I actually felt great and thankful afterwards. ZERO REGRETS.

So after all the carpload that happened for me in this month of September, what the heck did I learn after all that existential stuff?

I had to transmute the karma because I am AWAKE.

I was the karma bearer so to heal my ancestral line because I actually can (through Reiki)

My birthchart was very oppressive and shitty because again, see first 2 points. Also I must heal the collective too, as a Starseed-Earthseed mix. Seriously, being a Starseed/Earthseed or Angel whatever isn’t a bragging right, it’s a freaking responsibility, like being a garbage disposal person. BAsically trash lolol not..

NOthing makes sense because again, see previous points. Especially the one before this.

I was basically wounded with loneliness and separation/isolation, and it was something I had to face and be ok with. I am stil not ok with it, but I am doing my best to be at peace in being lonely and isolated. Not the alone part though, I love that.

I had so much stuff so I had to remove so many energies connected to those stuff, so I could discard what no longer serves. Like cord-cutting but with your hoard stash.

I just needed to sleep more, because whenever I do, I feel a bit better afterwards. PLus all my dreams get too vivid and wild.

My brain is still filled with so much subconscious garbage, so I guess I still have a long way to go in terms of flushing them all out. Now I use a lot of subliminal boosters apart from the usual subliminals.

When all else fails, just do the following Kriyas or Kundalini moves: Sat Kriya (to ease and calm down anxieties, and also to strengthen your abs lol no really), Removing Inner Anger (warning, this is the set that made my back pain come back, proceed with caution. Effective at the inner peace part. Also an effing heck of a workout. If I had a stronger back I’d do this everyday, I’ll grow abs lol), Emotional Balance Moveset (This is actually fun, and it helps me calm the fudge down. Very effective, easy to do, I highly recommend), Subagh Kriya (to invoke wealth, yeah I know right? But if all else gunks out, it can strengthen your arms and back so it’s still a good thing. I actually like this one, because you strengthen your body AND invoke the wealth of YOUR universe. Win-win!), Guru Gaitri Mantra (to be in your true power), Blockage Removal (this uses a lot of breath of fire, so if you want abs and getting high at the same time, this is the one for you lolol), Gutka Kriya (it’s really good to do when you’re really feeling low and crummy, plus you also HAVE to keep your vibes up or else lolol), Motivational Moveset (it can make you do what you think you can’t, so yeah, motivational lol), Meditation for Gratitude and receiving blessings (really easy to do, but making your brain work is another thing lol), Removing Cold Depression (I just do this whenever I feel depressed, it kinda clears my heart and head), Healing a Broken Heart (if you can bear the pain of keeping your arms up after 11 mins I doubt you could ever keep your heart broken lolol I did this for over a month way back and it was super effective. Just remember the pain of holding your arms lol), Remove Subconscious Garbage silent version (beacuse seriously it’s a problem), Last Resort Meditation (literally when you’re down on your luck and everything, it’s very grounding and keeps your wits with you), If you need to manage anxiety (seriously, this can also help, and you can build abs lolol trust me the breathing patterns are insanely challenging), Improve Frontal Lobe and Hypothalamus (yeah, I know right? but seriously, just try it) and the easiest so far, Kirtan Kriya (it’s just like you stretch your fingers to play guitar, it’s that easy). The others here are in YT, videos and stuff: Self-love and acceptance, Sat Narayan Mantra (I placed the really catchy version lol), Subconscious Garbage Removal aka Subconscious Blockage Remover (it can get quite catchy lolol), Relieve Anger Shorter version (if your back isn’t that strong. still effective though, I cry a lot whenever I do this), External Blockage Remover (even if it just brings you inner peace, I still think that’s quite effective), and of course, the very important Karma Cleansing (if you happen to be the bearer of your family and ancestral karma. This dude has a longer version on his site, I recommend buying it, that one’s wayyy longer and you’ll cry more. Also it helps lighten the load)

But that’s not all folks lolol if you’re just here for the “How to Transmute Emotions” PArt, don’t worry buddy, this bitch has got you covered. =D This is my own way of transmuting emotions because the internet doesn’t satisfy my need for more details. Seriously.

Just remember the following acronym: RAIREPEAT

R - Recognize - recognize the recurring patterns that have been causing you problems. It will help greatly if you can trace back its origins, or the first time it happened, or the most painful session it occurred. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride, peeps.

A - Accept - accept that this thing actually happened to you, and be at peace with its existence.

I - Integrate - Integrate this event that happened to you and has been the root of your recurring problems. Be at peace with the fact that this event has been and will probably always be a part of you, because it changed you and made you who you are, for better or worse. Just embrace it, cry into it, surrender (to the feeling of crying because this shit happened to you). BAsically this is the part where so much crying and release of other negative moions are needed.

RE - RElease - Release any attachments to this old event, any feelings, emotions, people, just cut them out or cord-cut any remaining energies.

PEAT - rePEAT - yeah, these shitty things will come back every now and then, but the more you strongly intend to release these things, the lesser you will need to rinse and repeat,. if anything, the feelings associated will only get weaker and weaker each time you feel them until they’re basically undetectable or doesn’t trigger anything anymore. By that time, you’re well in your way to more peace.

Well, I hope this mega-post helped you in any way, or will help you in the months and years to come, because seriously, the energies will only get even crazier from here. But hey, any chance to stay level-headed and grounded is better than being anxious all the time, so might as well just do stuff to ease and heal than remain in all that drama.

I wish you well on your path of awakening. and may you find the healing you seek.

In love and hugs from Source above,

三日月

Mikazuki

#dark night of the soul #energetic shifts #based on my own experiences #how to manage energetic shifts #also how to transmute emotions #transmuting emotions #kundalini yoga #how to navigate the crazy energies right now #thought log on how to deal with energetic shifts

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indy-diary · 7 years ago

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Entry 8 : Superstar Libra (Day 2), First Time Outside Thailand!

20 Mar 2018

I’ve never been out of my country before. This is really my first time. Despite Malaysia and Thailand are right next, it still counts. There are actually many differences between the two countries. This 4-day 3-night cruise has only one stop in Thailand, but two in Malaysia. This is the very day that my feet will touch a different country’s land for the first time...

Morning in Different Land

Sun had risen and the new morning came. The internet and phone signal were gone since an hour after leaving Phuket. Me and my brother slept early and woke up quite early. After we did the morning routines, we went straight to Pool Deck. Mariner’s Buffet was open and there was potato wedges, chicken sausages, Nasi Lemak, soup, bread, cereal, and some other food along with drinks. We sat outside instead of inside due to the number of people and better view and weather here.

(I really love this picture for some reason)

There was water, and more water. My brother and me watched the sea scrolled as we eat our breakfast. We have yet to arrive to the first stop so there wasn’t anything to see yet. But last time we saw the ship position from display screen, we were nearer to Malaysia than Thailand. It was clear that we were no longer in our homeland.

The breakfast was great! They taste really good and I can have as many as I wanted. The cost is included in the ticket and unlimited refill… this is awesome! Another good thing about it was on that morning, no one was noisy. This is a kind of breakfast I don’t often have. Normally at home I eat toast or sausages, and nothing else until lunch. It was so different between the two places.

(First things I picked up. Delicious!)

After that we spent some time walking around, in our rooms watching the TV and the ship position screen. We then learned that there IS internet available. They have cellular wifi available, at some price. 48 Ringgit for 24 hour usage, but there’s actually other packages like social medias only, or whole cruise package. But since we needed it only for two days, we choose 24 hour package, and buy another on next day. To save money, we bought only one package and swap logins when one wants to use because only one device may be logged in at a time.

The interior of Superstar Libra sure looks luxurious and gives off a simply relaxing vibe. It may not be the most luxurious cruise ship ever, but it’s decent and affordable. With most guests being Asians, it didn’t feel so alien on board either. Walking around always made me feel great, and so did staying in the room. Everywhere felt comfortable… except in toilets because they lacked bum gun TwT At least a bidet would be nice but they’ve got neither! :( It’s kind of difficult to not have washing water… or could it be because I’m used to bum guns at home?

Here’s some images before moving on to the next section

(Just a little part of Deck 8 that has great view, and a plant)

(Those sure look comfy, but would feel weird to sit directly in front of elevators and watch people)

A Town Named George Town

Some time have passed since breakfast. My brother and me were in our room when Superstar Libra approaches port. As we came nearer and nearer to the port, other ships start to appear. There was many, but at that time, only one seemed to be passenger ship which was this very Superstar Libra. Other ships I saw was container or oil tanker ships. After a while, Libra stopped moving on her own and a tugboat came. The tugboat dragged her to the port then left.

Libra then arrived at the port and properly docks, then passengers were given some procedures to get down. Those who wish to disembark will collect passport while those who were up for a tour or free strolls have different things to do. Buying a tour has to be paid and registered, but “free and easy” is being on your own, but no charges.

(Many many more small to large ships are around)

(They’re small, but they’re super strong!)

After the gangway gate opened, passengers were allowed to leave the ship. It was near noon, but we ate too much breakfast and didn’t feel hungry at all so we decided we would tour before coming back to eat. With that, we showed our access card to the crew at the gangway gate and they let us onto the land.

Soon, we arrived at the building. The building has signs in Malaysian (and I can’t read them lol). At least there were pictures or English along so it’s more understandable. I actually had never been to Malaysia before and I had no idea what to do. I also never read about Malaysian tourism places so I was completely lost. My brother suggested asking tourist information or something, but this was what we found at the port itself..

(Nice logo, but where did people go??)

On upper floor, all counters were empty. No one was there at all. Not even money exchange or receptionist! Me and my brother looked at each other and followed the crowd. We then came across the tourist map of this town on Penang Island… a town named George Town. (Just how many George Towns are there in the world???)

We took picture of the map and planned our visit. Then we walked some more to go out of the port building. The sunlight outside was harsh, but it was cool in shades, much cooler than shades back in my home region. It just make me wonder why.

(It looks big and we probably don’t have time to visit all that)

Strolling through the town and the lanes of the town, we saw many interesting things. The buildings seem to be made from plaster, and all of them were neat and clean (barring some broken parts). The different style of architecture I don’t see often made me curious about this town. The zebra crossing on the street is also different. They’re mostly located on the corners of intersections instead of being put in frequently used spots like my familiar places. I admit, there’s a lot of things I’ve never seen before, and that includes street vendor-free area. Back in Thai towns, street vendors are very common and can be found at almost any day, any time.

The unfamiliarity of this town made it interesting to a person like me. This is my first time going out of country. I want to visit so much more places in this town, but the skin-hurting sunlight sure limit my endurance.

(It’s so neat and clean)

(I actually like this look of this. It’s just a few meters from the port)

We kept walking around the town, but not too far. Visited some shops and exploring lanes. We got ourselves some snack and interesting things to see everywhere we went. We also visited the 7-11 convenience stores to buy some water. The sun was so strong we tire out extremely quickly and unable to be avoided because shades aren’t everywhere.

The paths under the buildings were quite narrow but weren’t too narrow to walk. It was a bit difficult when someone walk toward us, but wasn’t so much of big deal. There wasn’t much dirtiness or junk to ruin the view and mood either, but something clearly bugs me. Where are all the trash cans??? Up until this point, I have yet to see ANY trash can at all. Where do Malaysians of George Town throw away their garbage when they’re on the streets?

(It’s cool here, cool as in, both great and not hot)

Having finished exploring nearby areas and ended up in a different lane, we opened the map. City Hall was our next destination so we took some more walk and reached there in no time. The City Hall looked beautiful in my eyes. It was so clean and neat. There were also trees near the town hall and places to sit. It was great to take a break from walk right there, thanks to nice shade by trees and cool wind that blows from the sea.

By staying under the tree’s shade, I began to see the birds. It was because they were making noises directly above me, so I noticed their presence. Apparently they were crows, and they make caw caw noises. Then something just came to my mind…. I saw no pigeons. Absolutely no pigeons was seen. It was strange how there wasn’t any, considering it was most common urban birds.

The City Hall wasn’t so far away from a historical site, Fort Cornwallis. My brother wanted to see the British-built fort so we took a little walk there, only to find the surprise… The fort was closed for repairs ;w; It’s sad we can’t see the fort this way.

Disappointed with the fort, we walked off from the barred areas and saw a building. Its design is very familiar to us. It looked like a roof for local food stalls, and we were right. Under the roof there were tables and food stalls. The looks of it look almost identical to the same type of thing in Thailand, but more organized.

(Everything stays under the roof and it’s neatly organized inside too!)

Various stalls were inside, which also means lots of different food to select from. We were hungry and thought of trying out local food for once, so we went in and look through the selection. By that, I mean looking at each stall’s menu. Among the more noticable and memorable stalls, there was local steak, Char Koey Teow, and variety stalls. It felt so much like at home. The atmosphere was also almost identical, yet somewhat different.

Me and my brother wanted to try some local Malaysian food, so we ordered Ayum Nasi Goreng. We initially had no idea what it was, but when it was served… it became clear. It was simply, fried rice! It surprised us so much because we thought it would be some fancy Malaysian traditional food, and even more so when we ate it. That dish of Ayum Nasi Goreng taste very similar to local fried rice at our home. However, we still prefer our Thai style and taste. Perhaps because we’re more used to that too.

(To be honest, it feels like I’m not far from home)

Unexpected Visitor

Satisfied with no longer being hungry, we headed back to the ship. We were actually tired from walking around so we’d want to rest. On the way back, I saw a huge building that wasn’t there before. I pondered myself several times that it wasn’t here before and it’s so large. Only then it came to me… that it is no building, it’s a ship! She was taller than trees and any building around her. I didn’t realize she was a ship until I took a good look at the design and found her funnels!

(Just how big is she???)

Upon getting back to the Superstar Libra, we went to her sun to take a clear look at the other ship. On her stern, her name is printed and it reads Mariner of the Seas. Definitely… a Royal Caribbean International ship! The naming pattern of “X of the Seas” is one of their trademark, and on her funnel, the company’s logo is there.

From Libra’s stern, I felt that Mariner is much much larger. She was taller, wider, and most likely heavier too! Unlike Libra, Mariner has glassed balconies for most of the window rooms. Mariner seemed superior to Libra in every way, but with her ticket price being much higher as well. From what I have read, all ships of Royal Caribbean International’s “Voyager-class” have ice rink inside their ships. Mariner, belonging to that class, probably has it too. Every sight of her makes me imagine the amenities and facilities inside, which I will never know if I will have chance to see it.

(Mariner is just so huge from any angle)

I noticed the clouds and thought it was going to rain. The wind felt wet and it was windier than when we first arrived. Although, my brother said that it won’t rain. The lighting wasn’t so bad during the time, except the cloudy side. I took some more pictures of Mariner along with Libra, and then happened to see something nice up in the sky and snap a photo of it.

(It’s like a clash of darkness and light. My most favorite daytime picture so far)

After getting back to our rooms, we spent some time resting and playing games. During that, I also looked up information of both Superstar Libra and Mariner of the Seas to compare. Libra is 211 meters long while Mariner is 311. The height and gross tonnage are also different so it was clear why Libra looked so small. The level of luxury were also different. Libra was rather basic for a cruise ship, but was good enough for local and short runs. Mariner was totally on another level.

During sunset, Libra left Penang port and we get a clear side view of Mariner. Passengers on Mariner appeared to be watching Libra leave. Meanwhile on Libra, a lot of people came to sun deck to take a look and photos of Mariner. As tugboat dragged Libra out of the port… Mariner looked more distant and smaller each minute. Libra faced her port side to Penang island, which is coincidentally west. The sun was just above the island and gave a pretty backlight image. I took that chance and kept a photo of Penang Island and Mariner of the Seas in backlight before Libra fully left the island and sail the empty seas once more.

(It’s one of the prettiest sight I’ve ever seen)

Night Food & Drinks

We didn’t do much that evening after Libra left the port. Since we ate lunch late, we also ate dinner late. It was almost restaurant close time, but we were lucky to enter before they closed it. We tried Four Seasons and Mariner’s Buffet previously, so this time we’re trying another one that was in the “cost included” list. The final one in the list is named Ocean Palace. We used access card to get in and sit. Unlike the other two, we didn’t get to choose food this time. They serve all food listed in the menu, and most of them were Chinese style food. It wasn’t very satisfying, nevertheless, they taste good.

(I don’t really like the food, but the interior is pretty!)

After we finished eating, went to pool deck. We walked around the sun deck and occasionally stopped to catch wind. At one point, we were asked by another passenger to help take pictures for them. Initially we were facing the sea and the passenger asked us with “excuse me…”. Without hesitation, we turned towards her. Her response was very surprising. She suddenly let out a barrage of Chinese as she saw our faces. We’re not Chinese!! D:<. We politely told her to tell her request in English, and she did so. We happily helped her out, and then faced the sea again. My brother facepalmed and said he wanted to jump the ship. Then we did some more jokes. Still, I don’t think I look very Chinese.. But well, my brother might. He looks a lot like one, in my opinion.

On unrelated topic, I really like the lights on the ship. At some angle of sun deck, the pool deck looked like a little heaven in middle of sea of darkness. The pool deck is brighter than sun deck, probably because aside from railing, sunbath chairs, and some entrance to the ship, there’s nothing there. Pool deck on the other hand, was full of tables and the pools.

(My brother commented that this photo looks like J. J. Abrams movie)

We were rather thirsty, so we went down to pool deck and sat at Captain’s Order bar. They serve mainly alcoholic drink, but I’m legal now so I don’t think it’s a problem. Also, my brother was with me so I don’t really fear much. My brother ordered me a “Cowboy Coolers”, which is a drink consisting mainly of orange juice and syrup. It didn’t even taste like it has alcoholic mix, but I think it probably has. Last time I tried weak alcoholic drink it wasn’t so good like this. My brother himself ordered “Wild Wild West”, a lemonade + vodka drink.

We sat and enjoyed our drinks for a while. It was calm and cool. The wind blew across the ship but not too strong where the bar is. The atmosphere soothe my body and soul. Me and my brother then spent the rest of the time chatting and joking about things until we thought we should return to the room.

(Left : Cowboy Coolers, Right : Wild Wild West)

(Pool deck is probably loveliest deck on Superstar Libra! You’ve got food, drinks, and pool!)

And so… second day spent. It was very fun to be on this ship and I even get to go down and explore Penang. Even though it was just small part of the city, it was a great experience. I get to see new things and try new things. It was also relaxing and full of surprises in the same day. I’m sure there will be more surprises and things to see on the next day!

Anyways I’m sorry that this entry is delayed. I encountered some real life problems and other issues, like temporary writer’s block. I can’t write anything out from my mind, even though my memory of the place was still clear. Anyways thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the next episode!

#indydiary #travel #journal #photography #cruise ship #Superstar Libra #Star Cruises #Malaysia #Penang #Geroge Town #Food #ship #Mariner of the Seas #mar2018 #2018

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2017miamiteentour · 8 years ago

Text

Day Two

I had never heard of Winward until our community service this morning. I never had been so thrilled to be picking up trash; being able to see the detailed work of the graffiti artists was so eye opening. I found a new passion for art viewing. I never thought I'd grow that passion, and that's why I'm grateful for this tour. It is truly about culture and service learning. You never know what you will get out of it, but it's always something positive. Ready to wrap up a wonderful trip with our last college tour tomorrow! -Steven V.

Today was fun. In the morning the trash pickup showed me something i would never forget. Walking around Miami's "graffiti" district showed me that most big cities are similar. I compared the city to my birthplace, Philadelphia. The beach was a fun past time also. Today was the most fun out of all the days here. -Isiah F.

Today was very interesting. First we picked up trash in Wynwood Gardens. While we were picking up trash we say many unique graffiti paintings on the sides of buildings. Later on we went to South Beach and walked down Ocean Drive. -Jaylonne C.

Today was very eye opening. We woke up pretty early to get to our first destination which was picking up trash around the neighborhood. There was beautiful art that I will appreciate later in my life. Then, we went to lunch. Although it was not the best of food, it kept me fool for a while. After this, we went to the hotel to change and I spent the rest of the day on the beach. -Joshua B.

Picking up the litter off the streets and looking at the different art and murals was an experience that I truly enjoyed. I got see a creative and innovative side of Miami that you really don't see in aiken. Also looking at walking through the beach was just breathtaking. The beach was just beautiful. I hope someday I get to experience this one more time. -Jeremiah B.

Today was awesome! I realized how easy it is to just spend 30 minutes of my day to pickup trash off the streets. The walk wasn't bad at all and nor was the heat. The woman that we met at Wynard gave us a warm welcoming and was very genuine. I love what she stands for and how uplifting she is for the community. In addition to the Today's activities, I really enjoyed the beach! The water was much clearer than myrtle beach, and the sand did not burn my feet! I brought souvenirs for my stepdad, and dinner was delicious! Above all, I am very grateful to be included on this trip. I've met the most giving people in the world, and I am determined to follow in their footsteps. I'm sad that the trip is coming to an end, but again, I'm grateful for the new memories, friendships, and experiences! -Fredericka T.

The highlight of my day was the pleasure of spending time in the art district in Miami. The beautiful art in Wynwood Art District truly captured the essence of self-expression from every artist that contributes to the art community. It was also a pleasure to have some fun time at South Beach taking in the sights and simply enjoying family and friends. -Liz M.

Today was actually my favorite day lol. I really enjoyed walking around the community and picking up the trash for the community. I really enjoyed the beach and hope to come again. -Iman M.

Today started out with us volunteering on trash detail around the Wynwood Yard. The Wynwood art district is fundamental. I had the opportunity to visit my first juice bar. Which I was not impressed. Lunch at the Wynwood Diner was amazing. Later on in the afternoon we had dinner and a private tour around South Beach. I hope ever gets an opportunity to visit South Beach. -Pam G.

I really enjoyed our volunteering today with Winwood walls, it felt great helping clean up the neighborhood while exploring some of the art in the area. I would love to get an opportunity to come down here again and connect to do more in this community. During our next stop at south beach, we got a chance to enjoy the water and great weather! Miami is a busy town, with lots of culture to learn and explore. Thank you Dr Mike for taking us down south. -Rania A.

Today we volunteered in the Wynwood District of Miami picking up trash. The district draws artists to it that paint these AMAZING paintings using the building walls as their canvas. The district hosts a BIG arts festival each December that draws many artists and art fans. Wynwood Yards also held a health and wellness fair to benefit the people in the neighborhood. Our service learning projects are a GREAT way to teach us about giving back a BD paying it forward. -Debbie L.

I was so enlightened by true art today from the beginning to the end! The graphics art on the wall at Wynwood and the human art at south beach was interesting. 😊 So grateful for being a part of this experience with my family and trying to help our youth become all they can imagine. -Daniel M. Sr.

The Miami clean up was a cool experience. I got to see a lot of cool art and business in a really interesting part of Miami. I also really enjoyed spending time on South Beach. There were so many interesting people and places. And I must say it was one of the most crowded beaches I've ever been to. -Daniel A M.

We had a great day in Miami! We started off the day picking up trash around the city. After lunch, we spent the rest of the day at south beach to have fun. -Robert M.

I had a lot of fun today in Miami. The art at Wynwood was amazing. Spending time at South Beach was great. There were a lot of people, but everyone was nice. -Kimberly M.

Picking up debris around the community today was fulfilling, though not as strenuous as yesterday still equally helpful. Today I put my wants aside and pushed through the heat to help create a better environment. Doing selfless acts such as today creates a better community as well as character. -Dajane M.

Today was a very relaxing great day. We were able to help the community of Wynwood by collecting trash off of the streets and got to taste yummy drinks and tasty salads. The beach was nice although I didn't get in, I had lots of fun with my group today. -Jada M.

Day 3 of the Miami college tour started early with our group volunteering at the Wynwood Yard in Midtown Miami where the arts district is alive and full of unlimited creativity offering a variety of food, community yoga, small corporate businesses, neighborhood shops, uniquely decorated store fronts and diverse neighbors who live, work and play in their quaint neighborhood. Our group bonded during our clean up task while partaking in a juice bar who's brand was a high end organic bar that was a comfortable lounge for social exchanges. We wrapped with visiting the annual Art Basel district that happens annually in Miami and Hong King. I was most impressed by the artists' displays. My take away feeling and experience in one word is ELEVATED. -Jakki G.

Today was a long but successful day. The community service went better than I anticipated it would be. After the community service we went to south beach. I saw all types of characters wanting to enjoy themselves, I even saw a water iguana trying to get out of the heat. Miami is such a beautiful place that even anyone and anything can enjoy it. I had fun doing the community service and now look forward to what next year has to offer. -Javon B.

Cleaning up the streets of Wynwood was a really good experience for me. Not only did it let me see the real streets of Miami, but also the art all around it as well. It was really a great experience for me and it well help me bring some ideas back to my city. -Malik P.

Saturday was very successful in Miami. I enjoyed the volunteer work hours in the morning, and the juice shop we stopped by. For a first while here no bugs were around at the diner, which was highly appreciated. The beach was nice and south beach felt nice at night with more breeze then heat. -Jordan C.

Today was incredible. I had never been to Miami before and simply being here was like entering a whole new world. So that, plus being in the presence of the WECCAAN crew was one of those days I want and will remember forever. I have been on every tour since they started, and being back with old faces and new is best summed up as a family reunion. We did and we will because WECCAAN. -Giovan B.

Let's reflect on a beautiful sun filled Saturday in Miami! I had the opportunity to see a side of Miami that I never see before which was street art. Artist from all over the world would come to an area in Miami called Wynwood and draw mind boggling paintings on the wall and streets of Miami. I also enjoyed ridding the Miami street of trash. South Beach was amazing as well as seeing the city lights all night long. -Sha'Bria D. J.

If days had title, I would call June 24th the day of new experiences. I tried healthy and interesting combinations of food such as kale and quinoa salads, green leaf juice, and chicken tenders garnished with a leaf on purpose. I admired the street graffiti which stood as the staple of wynwood's art movie. I even navigated through the strip of Miami after dipping my feet for the first time in South Beach sand. These past few days have given me the pleasure to truly mean what my new souvenir hat says: I <3 Miami! -Frelicia T.

The volunteer today consisted of removing garbage from the streets of Miami. Whole doing that we got to see a whole new world through the artist eyes from their art. The art was astonishing and very inspiring! -James H.

Going to pick up trash in that amazing area with all that art was a great experience because where I come from we are not allowed to have thought no matter how much the teens push for it in are scar the beach was amazing i really loved the view. -Toby H.

When we cleaned up today I learned how important it was to take care of your neighborhood and environment. Going to south beach made me a little less self-conscious by seeing everyone dress however and not care. I can say that I really enjoyed myself both my what Miami has to offer and helping out the community. -Jamia J.

Today we woke up and went to an organization to pick up trash. It was a lot of fun, we split up into 3 groups and went around picking up trash/ litter around the streets and beach. We stopped half way through and got refreshments then finished the rest. After we went to eat and it was good, then we came to South beach it was a really great experience and i can't wait till i'm older to do new things here. -Dylan B.

It was really refreshing to service a community outside of our own. I have learned and tasted new things. I literally left my soul in the ocean. Your crew are supportive and stand by your rules. It was refreshing to have everyone on one accord. 1people, 1earth. Blessings to you and the lives you've changed and touch. -Cheryl J.

Today we woke up at 8:30 and went to WynWood so that we can help clean up the community. We filled up like 6 bags of garbage and then put it in the garbage. After we went to eat at this diner and we chilled there for a little bit. We went back to the hotel changed our clothes then headed out the south beach. There we walked around exploring the south beach went to the beach and went to eat. -Jaydeen M.

I really enjoyed today's service in the neighborhood of Wynwood Arts District. There was a lot of trash, but we managed to improve the condition it was in. The art on the walls were really impressive and kept me in awe at their level of creativity. South Beach was amazing and I really did love the shops and eateries that surrounded it. -Kristen L.

Today was an amazing day. I liked picking up the trash because I got to walk around Miami and look at all of the art. Another thing that I enjoyed was how people express themselves in different ways and how some people draw murals. When we went to South Beach, my group had a great time me, my mom and Rania went to one of the stores that I really wanted to go and that was DASH. -Jordan B.

Today was amazing!!!! The art was breathtaking. It's felt good to help keep Miami beautiful by cleaning up the streets. We also got a chance to see it from the ground level. South Beach was beautiful!!!! I enjoyed speeding time at the beach with my children. The water was clear and warm. It's so much to take in! I truly enjoyed today. -Teshania B.

Today was a lot of fun helping out in the Miami community. Exploring the visual art around the city was amazing. Part two of the day at South Beach Miami was amazing. When we explored it was perfect and fun. -Rodney T.

Today was truly interesting. Throughout the day, I took a tour of the city of Miami. As I walked, I observed the extraordinary graffiti art around a specific area of the city. The lady from Wynwood was very nice and she was gracious enough to show us the cultural aspects of Miami. When we went to South Beach, I experienced a few things. I played basketball on a local court, experienced the beach, and ate at a nice restaurant. Walking around South Beach was truly the highlight of my day and in the future I'm looking forward to visiting it again. - Cabral J.

My time in Miami from today was exciting and something I didn't expect. Seeing all the various art work in Wynwood while also helping to pick up trash was amazing to me. Going to explore more of Miami at South Beach was another part that I enjoyed as well. -Nolan J.

Yesterday was very fun. It felt good to pick up trash and help out the community. I enjoyed making a stop at that Juice bar and trying something new. I liked viewing all the art on the walls it was interesting and cool to see. Also South Beach was a lot of fun. -Brooke B.

I was granted the opportunity to tour one of Miami's most diverse areas while also cleaning it up in the process. Afterwards, I had some free time at the beach to relax and enjoy myself before the day of departure. -Keyev B.

Day 2 of the trip was great and we got a lot accomplished. Picking up the thrash and trying new drinks at the juice bar was a fun experience! Getting to hangout at the beach and the strip was also a fun experience. -Anayshia M.

We helped out the community by picking up trash. Then we got refreshments at this organic place. Then we got Wynwood diner for lunch. Last we went to Miami Beach which was fun and this all impacted my life because of the different experiences that I was exposed to. -Julian B.

Dr. Mike allowed us all to spend about five on South Beach, and it was beautiful. I've never been to any part of Florida until now, and for my first time being it was amazing. Miami is beautiful also very hot, and now a little cleaner as we picked up trash in the community. -Charles H.

Today was a very eventful day filled of plenty of activities. It started with a cleanup of the Arts district neighborhood of Wynwood. Next, we were able to go to South Beach and experience the sweltering heat along with the refreshing feel of the Atlantic Ocean. This trip to Miami has shown me a new beautiful area and truly opened my eyes to more possibilities. -Matthew M.

Today we went to Wynwood Yards Volunteer Site to pick up trash. While doing this we observed several pieces of art in the form of graffiti. Most of them were amazing to see. After this we went to eat at Wynwood Diner where I had chicken tenders, which were pretty good. Then we went off to South Beach. While everyone else was swimming, me and a group went to Flamingo Park where we played basketball. Next we went to the beach to go swimming. For dinner we went to BurgerFi. -Bobby H.

It was really refreshing to service a community outside of our own. I have learned and tasted new things..I literally left my soul in the ocean..Your crew are supportive and stand by your rules..It was refreshing to have everyone on one accord.. 1people, 1earth. Blessings to you and the lives you've changed and touch.. -Cheryl J.

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