#i also just want to get as far away from the assholes in the fandom as possible

[antiquarianandunusual]

Full disclosure, I think I'm done making Rock-afire content for a while. I still want to engage with y'all because the Tumblr side of the fandom is awesome, and I still love the band, but a) I don't really want to actively contribute to the fandom myself, anymore for personal reasons and b) I'm about to graduate with a degree in the arts, and if I want to continue this as a career, I need to focus more on my own original works.

I might make some stuff every now and then, but it won't be my main "thing" on this blog, anymore. At least not for now.

Sorry, y'all. Thanks for coming along for the ride. <3

[foggysirens]

.

[wannab-urs]

Title: Something Sweet

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. 

Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here. 

WC: 2107

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift for @psychedelic-ink. Sil, you’re a wonderful friend and you do so much for the Pedro Pascal Fandom community on top of being an incredible writer. So, with some help from @pedrorascal with the beautiful gifs, I schemed up a little fic for you. I hope you love it! Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays AHHHH. 

Moving to a new country two weeks before your birthday, which also happens to be Christmas Eve, is not ideal. You moved to Colombia from Miami after a promotion, earning a spot on the elite team working to catch Pablo Escobar. 

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, trying to catch up on all the facts of the case. You have to learn every sicario by sight and all of their names, aliases, and frequent hang outs. You have to learn about everything Escobar has done in Colombia, all the cartels and how they connect, it’s all extremely exhausting and time consuming. 

Which is why you have no friends yet, unless you count your new partners Javier Peña and Steve Murphy. Which you don’t. You barely know them, and from what you’ve seen so far, Peña is an asshole. Steve might be okay, but you just haven’t had time to get to know him yet. 

You take off your windbreaker and hang it on the back of your chair. It’s kind of ridiculous that you have to work on Christmas Eve, but there’s no rest for the wicked and therefore no rest for you either. You sit down and open the first file on your desk, immediately getting down to business without so much as a greeting for your partners. 

A couple hours into the work day, a shadow darkens your desk. “What do you want, Peña?” 

“God damn, hermosa. Touchy today? I brought you a coffee.” Peña sets the cup of lukewarm black slop on your desk and leans further into your space, peeking at the files you’re reading. 

“Yes, actually. Did you need something or did you just come over here to bother me?” 

“I just came over here to compliment your nails, actually,” he takes your hand in his, inspecting your nails, and then looks into your eyes. “I like the color. Suits you.” 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks. Peña is cute. Gorgeous, really, but you don’t make a habit of flirting with your coworkers. “Thanks… They were my birthday gift to myself.” You tug your hand away from him and place it in your lap. 

“It’s your birthday?” He asks, still leaning much too far into your personal space. You nod and look back down at the file. 

“I have to get back to work now,” you almost whisper to him, all your bitter snark from earlier replaced by a sense of melancholy. There’s not a soul in this entire country who knows it’s your birthday today. Aside from Javier, now, you guess. Javier lingers for another moment before pushing off your desk and leaving you to your work. 

You’re starting to pack up for the day when Peña comes up to your desk again, sitting on the corner. 

 “So what are your plans tonight?” he asks. 

“Huh?” You don’t have any plans. A phone call from your friend in Miami and a bottle of Chilean wine maybe. 

“Your plans? For your birthday?” 

“Oh. I don’t have any. Don’t really know anyone yet so…” you trail off. You feel kind of pathetic, even though you know it’s completely reasonable to not have a group of friends yet. 

“Me and Murphy could take you out?” 

“Oh um–”

“Actually, Jav,”  Steve calls out from his desk. “Me and Connie have plans tonight. Christmas Eve and all,” he gives you an apologetic look. 

“It’s fine really. I’m gonna have a nice relaxing night in. Thanks though.” You put on the best smile you can and head for the door. 

You hang up the phone after your short call with your friend. It’s expensive to call long distance, but she stayed on with you as long as she could. She told you all about her new boyfriend and that everyone had wished you a Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays. You’re grateful she didn’t ask about your job or your love life. 

As you pop the cork on a bottle of wine, there’s a knock on your door. You stare at the door questioningly, as if it will tell you who’s there. Who on earth could be knocking at your door at 8pm on Christmas Eve? 

You grab your gun and sneak over to the door, peeking through the peephole. Broad shoulders and a dark head of hair are all you can make out through the tiny lens. Javier? You set your gun on the side table and pull open the door. 

“Peña? What are you doing here?” 

He turns around and holds his hands out to you. “Brought you something.” He’s holding a birthday cake, clearly store bought, decorated with a generic “Feliz cumpleaños” scrawled on top. A bright smile lights up your face. 

“Oh Javi, you didn’t have to!” 

“I wanted to. You gonna invite me in for some cake?” He raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Oh! Yeah sure. Come in!” You step to the side to let him through and close and lock the door behind him. “Sorry about the mess. I’m not fully unpacked yet.” 

“I’ve been here for 7 years and I’m not fully unpacked. It’s fine.” Javi reassures you. He sets the cake down on your kitchen counter and starts rifling around for plates and silverware. 

“I can do that,” you try to move him out of the way, but he’s having none of it. 

“No, it’s your birthday. Let me. You pour yourself a glass of wine and go sit on the couch.” 

“Fine… thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

You grab a couple glasses and the bottle of wine and carry it to the living room with you. You’re kind of shocked he’s here. He’s always flirty in the office, but he’s like that with everyone. He’s not what you’d call friendly otherwise. Maybe he just feels bad for you. 

Javier drops down onto the couch beside you holding two plates with hefty slices of chocolate cake. He hands you one of the plates and a fork. “Happy birthday. I’m not going to make you do the whole candle thing.”

“Thank you, Javier. This is really, really nice.” You feel like you might cry. It’s just cake, but you felt so alone, and it’s like he really saw you. He saw through whatever exterior shell you were wearing and decided to try to make your day better. 

“Just Javi is fine. And it’s not a big deal, really. You deserve something sweet on your birthday,” he says looking down at the cake in his hands.

“It is to me. A big deal, I mean,” you say softly before taking a bite of the cake. It’s nothing special, just a plain chocolate cake, but it means so much to you. 

You and Javier, Javi, chat about where you’re from and how you came to work for the DEA. You tell him about living in Miami, about the promotion that brought you here. You finish the bottle of wine and a couple more pieces of cake and the conversation doesn’t stop for a long time.

Late in the evening, you finish a story about your 6th birthday, one your aunt always told to the whole family every single year at your birthday dinner. He’s sitting close to you, his thigh pressed against yours despite there being plenty of room on the couch to sit without touching. It makes your heart flutter a little. 

You don’t know if it’s the wine or what, but the little crush you have on him is getting pretty hard to ignore. Javi smirks at you, reaches up, and brushes his thumb over the corner of your lip. 

“Got a little icing there, cariño,” he says, his voice lower and huskier than it has been all night. He brings the icing smeared thumb to his mouth and sucks it between his lips. Your eyes track the movement, pupils blowing wide. He really is pretty. 

You feel yourself lean in toward him, almost unconsciously chasing that thumb to his mouth. He brings his hand up to your cheek and searches your eyes for a moment. He must see what he was looking for because he pulls you closer and presses his lips to yours. 

His lips are soft, warm, gentle on yours. You grab his face in your hands, not wanting him to pull away yet. He slips his tongue along the seam of your lips and you part them, letting him in. You’re not sure who makes the move, but slowly, your back is lowered to the couch, Javi a comfortable weight on top of you. Your hands explore his broad shoulders, the muscles of his back, his trim waist, as he plunders your mouth with his tongue. 

“Can I touch you?” He rasps against your lips. 

“You already are,” you giggle. “Sorry. Yes, Javi.” 

He huffs a laugh into your mouth and slips a hand into your lounge pants, fingers finding your dripping seam. “Wet for me already, hermosa?” 

Your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment, but you nod. You’re soaked just from kissing him. By the feel of him against your thigh, he’s not better off. He pushes two fingers inside you and presses his lips back to yours. You gasp into his mouth, hands fisting in the back of his shirt. 

His fingers immediately find the spongy spot deep in your core. He curls them, dragging the pads of his fingers along your g-spot with every pump of them inside you. You cling tightly to him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“Come for me, baby.” 

Your body responds to his command instantly, the tension in your belly releasing into waves of pleasure. Your cunt flutters around his fingers and you whine into his neck as he works you through it. You collapse back onto the couch, and he wastes no time dragging your pants off you. 

You hear the clink of his belt opening, the sound of it hitting the floor. You sit up on your elbows to watch him as he strips off the rest of his clothes. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight of the gorgeous man before you. 

He takes your hands in his and pulls you to your feet before pulling your tank top off you. “Shit, hermosa,” he whispers almost reverently as he takes one of your tits in his large hand, rolling the nipple between two fingers. “Gorgeous.” 

 He kisses you again, wrapping his strong arms around your body and pushing his chest flush with yours. “Bedroom, cariño?” 

You walk him back to your room, barely separating your lips from his for the entire journey. You fall back on your bed and he follows, settling between your legs. His lips drag down your jaw line to your neck as he lines himself up with your entrance. Javi sucks a mark just below your collarbone as he slowly thrusts inside you. 

You wrap your legs around his hips and pull him deeper into you, whining at the stretch. “Fuck, Javi.” 

“Working on it, cariño,” he teases as he bottoms out inside you. He pushes himself up on his elbows and stares into your eyes as he pulls out and thrusts back in smoothly. Your mouth falls open, a little huff spilling out as he bottoms out again. He feels so fucking good inside you. 

Javi sets a steady pace, thrusting into you hard and slow, eyes never leaving yours. When your eyes flutter shut and your back starts to arch in pleasure, he slips his arm under your back, pulling your hips higher on his thighs. The new angle is everything. You gasp out a moan every time his cock punches deep inside you.

Javi is everything in this moment. Your world narrowed to the feeling of his cock pounding into you at that same maddeningly slow, hard rhythm. You feel yourself tightening around him, feel a coil winding in your belly tighter and tighter. 

Javi’s lips find yours again with a kiss that’s more a clash of teeth and tongues than anything as you come hard on his cock. Javi lets out a low groan into your mouth at the way you squeeze him. He thrusts into you a few more times, fucking you through your high, before he quickly pulls out and spills all over your belly. 

He rests his forehead on yours for a moment, catching his breath. He kisses you deeply one more time before falling to the bed beside you. Javi pulls you into his arms, not paying any mind to the mess he made on your stomach. He holds you close, kissing the top of your head. 

“Happy Birthday, cariño.”

[sleepingdeath-light]

relationship hcs ; adam

requested by ; mod / self indulgent

fandom(s) ; hazbin hotel

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; adam

outline ; “dating headcanons for adam”

note ; this may be a smidge out of character as i have never written for him before, but hopefully you’re able to enjoy these headcanons regardless ^^

warning(s) ; some canon-typical douchbag behaviour, but mostly fluff!

for as much of an asshole as adam can be, once he’s committed to someone he’s loyal as hell — granted it’s difficult to get a playboy like him to agree to complete monogamy, but it’s not a complete impossibility if you’re willing to put in the time and effort to get to that point with him

hes got an extremely prominent (and, frankly, nasty) possessive streak that he makes pretty much no effort to hide — like the moment he gets jealous of someone, no matter how irrational that feeling, he’s not above going as far as just grabbing you and making out with you in front of them just to prove that you’re taken and adam is not someone who likes to share what’s his

this possessiveness is in good part because of how his past relationships ended (with the two women that were literally made for him either leaving him outright or cheating on him with the same man) and the insecurities that naturally spawned from those experiences — yes he may be the cockiest bastard in all of heaven, and he talks big game about being ‘the dickmaster’ or ‘the original dick’ and all of that nonsense, but once the two of you become an item he is terrified of losing you and seems to make it his mission to ward off any outside threats to your relationship and warn you away from anyone who he can’t scare off

(e.g. openly and frequently shit talking lucifer, hell, and the sinners he kills — portraying them as unequivocally monstrous and cruel without the chance for redemption / being unworthy of your empathy or time in an effort to keep you as disinterested and far from him as possible)

reassurance and praise goes a long way with adam, even if he does tend to outwardly either brush it off or turn it into something more sexual, even more so if you give him something concrete to show that love and praise — e.g. he’s the type of guy to keep every single card you get him for your anniversaries, his birthday (well… creation day would be a better name in his case), or valentine’s day, in a locked box or drawer for him to look through whenever he feels a bit low whilst also outwardly denying being so ‘sappy’ and sentimental

it takes a while for him to feel comfortable taking off his mask around you, but once that you’ve gotten over that particular hurdle and made your attraction and appreciation for his appearance as clear as possible, you’ll pretty much never see him wear it again — well, at least not in the privacy of your home… outside is a very different story

not at all shy about physical affection in private or in public — like from the moment the two of you confess your feelings you’ll have a hard time getting his hands off of you for more than a few minutes at a time (unless you make it clear that you’re not a touchy person, of course… he’s not a complete asshole when it comes to you and he certainly doesn’t want to make the best thing to happen to him since eden go running for the hills)

his favourite place to kiss you is on the lips (he’s the first man, as he oh so loves reminding everyone in earshot, forgive him for the basic choice) and his kisses are all so passionate that it almost feels like he’s worried you’ll vanish the moment he lets go — they’re wet and messy and steal the breath straight from your lungs, yes, and by the end of it you’ll get to see him with his cheeks all flushed and golden eyes gleaming with mischief, passion, and overwhelming affection, but there’s also the smallest hint of something else in his kisses that you can’t quite place (and that you rarely have the chance to linger on before you’re dragged somewhere more private by him to let things get a bit less ‘pg’, or he’s hurrying away to take part in an extermination or to fulfil some other such heavenly duty that sera probably asked him to do weeks ago)

loves having his hair played with and will fall asleep in minutes if you start slowly and gently carding your fingers through his hair and lightly scratching his scalp when he’s laying on your lap — would never admit it though and will go straight as a board and almost shout-talk over you to try and preserve his reputation if you try and bring it up around anyone else (especially lute because she would never let him live that down)

mainly just calls you ‘babe’ or your first name, and maybe the occasional ‘baby’ — though he’s responsive to any and every pet name you give him over the course of your relationship, even the more ridiculous/humourous ones

he keeps an eye out for you at every gig he plays with his band, visibly brightening when he catches sight of you and even pointing you out as his ‘smoking hot partner’ to the crowd before playing one of the dozens of songs he’s dedicated to you — none of them are explicitly love songs, but he thought of you when writing them and that’s enough to gain a dedication in his eyes

isn’t above using his position as the first man to benefit you and your relationship — that can mean anything from rearranging his and your schedules to make sure that you always get to spend some time together each day, or threatening anyone with banishment or some other punishment for making you uncomfortable (it may be heaven but nowhere is completely safe from assholes… adam himself is proof of that)

you’re absolutely spoiled rotten but he always runs any major gifts past lute (who you’re basically guaranteed to have as a close companion after getting with adam) before he gives them to you because he doesn’t want to risk giving you something you hate and pushing you away from him — of course he never tells you this and brags very openly about being so good at picking gifts for you (and, thus, being the most awesome boyfriend in the history of all boyfriends ever)

he rarely ever actually says the words ‘i love you’ and will affectionately tease you whenever you say them to him, but he makes every effort to ensure that you don’t doubt his feelings for even a second despite that

when he’s too busy to accompany you out and about, he always makes sure that there’s at least one of his girls with you just to ensure your safety at all times — especially after one of his exorcists got killed, which made him particularly jumpy and overprotective (yes he knows that heaven is just about the safest place you can be, but he refuses to take any chances when it comes to you)

[superstarzzzzz]

So y’all fw EVEN MORE Mr. Puzzles hcs?

Cause I got some :}

tbh I feel like Puzzles get’s too babied in the fandom. A lot of people forget that he’s kind of an asshole, and takes a long time to warm up to people. However, once he realizes how he feels and is willing to reach out more, things get a lot better.

It’d probably be really awkward more than anything else. He wouldn’t understand relationship stuff and you’d have to explain things to him, which would kill the tension for a bit. However, he makes a huge effort trying to be a good partner.

Puzzles wants a relationship (platonic or romantic) but doesn’t want to be fixed/helped. He likes the attention and having a permanent audience.

If anyone here knows Guilty Gear, you guys would probably be like A.B.A and Paracelsus, where the two of you would get into a relationship out of needing something from the other rather than for genuine interests (Him wanting someone to control and you wanting to fix him (or make him worse)) (Yes, this is a callout post for all of us, me included). It would take a while for the both of you to finally realize that your goals are what is harming the relationship from going further, and it takes a while to overcome that boundary. But once you guys do, it’s much easier to work together.

If your relationship is in the real world, he’d probably get annoyed with you more often than not during the beginning. Nothing that would make him lose it, but enough that he’d need to take a moment to readjust. Picture him dealing with Mario’s antics in the gameshow episode without going crazy, as well as him talking to Boopkins during the Price is Right Segment.

Bottom.

He’ll let you kiss his screen but the moment you aren’t looking he’s wiping that shit off. Not because he doesn’t like it, in fact he loves how much you wanna kiss him and give him attention, but it’s a ocd/texture thing; he can’t handle feeling dirty in any way.

When he blushes, it’s like screen-burn (when a static/unmoving image burns into the screen for long periods of time). If he’s blushed in the past 30 mins, you can still slightly see it up close.

His love languages is gift giving and acts of service. He also loves literally everything except gift because you’d be the greatest gift (plus he’s personally not a material-wealth kinda guy. Leave the gift-giving to him).

Doesn’t have a type/isn’t picky. Anyone who’s willing to give him attention, he’ll love.

He hasn’t genuinely laughed at something in years. He’s seen all the comedy shows and knows all the tropes so much that nothing gets to him anymore. You might make him chuckle or smirk but his goal is to make you smile and laugh. If you do laugh at his jokes, it warms his heart a lot. However, he can tell if a laugh is forced/fake, and will call you out on it if he’s not in a good mood.

Whether you like it or not, you pretty much can’t leave him alone once the two of you are official. If he needs some kind of comfort, he’s latching onto you. If you’re far away, he’ll either make the journey to see you or will call you every ten minutes

Hates modern phones and can’t text for shit. The gloves DO NOT help at all. He’ll just call you if he wants to talk to you, but the two of you are usually together so there’s no need.

Literally just unhindged Fluttercord.

A Two-for-one deal: a partner and a white noise machine lol.

Tastes like battery acid. I will not elaborate further.

His memories are like recordings that he can display on his screen, but he rarely does. If he falls asleep and dreams about memories of you, he might display them like that one scene of Pearl sleeping in Steven Universe.

Loves coordinating and matching outfits, but he’ll literally wear the same thing so he likes it when you coordinate with him, really.

Fr tho he is totally a bottom, but he’s overall more of a switch. If he has control over the situation, he’ll make sure everything goes flawlessly. However, if you make him go off-script and cause him to fumble, you can easily take over.

Now these ones are specifically horror movie/show based from a request last post!

He’s okay with slasher movies, but hates the amount of unnecessary stuff like the swearing and sex. All cheep tactics to the the audience interested.

Hates phycological horror. Respects it, but hates it. Partially because he’s in minor denial of what he puts his actors through (he knows and accepts that’s he’s brainwashing people and controlling them, but he often justifies if for his sake).

Likes watching some horror movies because a lot of actors started with horror and got bigger because of it.

Truthfully, he’s a little traumatized from horror movies after staying up late one night to watch night television and adult shows as a kid. When a horror movie started playing, he forced himself to watch the whole thing and had nightmares about it months after. He overall tries to avoid horror.

If you guys are in a relationship and you wanna watch a horror movie, he’ll be hesitant. As you set it up, he’d also try to switch the movie and distract you, which fails. “Well, I mean, if you insist. Oh- but how about this other movie! It’s excellent, and the bonus features are so interesting!”

If you call him out for it, he’d apologies and admit he’s not a fan of horror. You could totally tease him, saying that “there’s no such thing as monster” and that you’re there to protect him if something goes bump in the night, and he’ll get offended and would watch the movie JUST to prove that he isn’t afraid.

He’d be shaking by the 30 min mark, over-dramatically reacting to everything. This could be for 1 of 2 things:

1. He’s genuinely terrified and the suspense is killing him. He’s curled up on the couch with his manic smile waiting for SOMETHING to happen, but nothing’s happening yet, so why’s THE MUSIC GETTING LOUDER?!?!?! You could scare him with a poke or a loud noise, which would cause him to basically skyrocket to the ceiling in fear, or you could gently take his hand and cuddle with him, which he’d immediately grab onto you and squeeze you the entire movie.

2. The acting is horrible and nothing makes sense. If the fear isn’t good enough to captivate him, he’s sprawled out on the couch and complaining the whole time. It’s almost funny how passionate he is about it, if not for the fact that you just wanna watch a movie. You could shush him, but he’ll just go back to talking in the next 5 minutes.

As for the theatre, you kinda can’t take him regardless of what’s playing, mainly because of his screen. He can’t dim it, and he’s already a beacon of light in dim rooms, so the theatre is a no go. He doesn’t mind, as he obviously prefer television. However, if you’re willing to drive and watch them, he’s fine with drive-in theatres. They remind him of his childhood, and it give him a reason to cuddle with you.

Only major downside of a drive-in is all the bugs sticking to his screen in the night, which he’d freak out about. He’d drench himself with so much bug repellent that he’d stink of chemicals.

Here’s a bunch of relationship hcs! Tried to make them mostly interchangeable between romantic and platonic relationships. I’ll continue to cook up more headcanons but I may or may not be working on a fic of my own, inspired by all the amazing writing I’ve been reading from the fandom. Til then, I’ll continue posting here! Questions/comments/suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks and have a great day!

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Ñuha jorrāelagon (modern!Siren!Aemond Targaryen x Reader)

synopsis: When you planned your vacation to the Iron islands you thought you would get to see a new place. Instead you get to know a whole new world.

warnings: smut with some plot, p in v, afab reader

word count: 2.6k

general hotd taglist: @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom/series or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

When you told your friends where this years big vacation would lead you, you got the same reaction from every single one of them. With out fail every one of their wide smiles became crooked and the unspoken question if you were crazy entered their eyes. But you were still just as exited for the trip as you were when you booked the flight and everything. Not only because you had just survived your messiest breakup to date, but also, because you loved seeing new places. And the Iron Islands where a place you had never been. If you had asked them, which you didn´t, if you wanted to be near water you should have just chosen to stay near Seagard. But in the end that wasn´t too far from your destination anyway and it wouldn´t be quite the same. Plus, thanks to that asshole that you used to call boyfriend, you couldn´t get away far enough. It was gonna be perfect. You had booked a room in an in at one of the little fisher villages. Meaning no internet for the whole week of your stay, but all the exploring and living in the moment. Another fact that was met with worry, though this time you understood them on that point. How many horror stories began with that premise after all, but in the week leading up to the fight none of that mattered anymore.

The closer the flight came, the more vivid your dreams became. It was always the same as well. You were standing at a cliff, surrounded by fog. At first you could only hear someone singing in the distance. Too far away for you to identify them. The voice was deep, smooth and downright enchanting. Begging you closer with a magical pull. Yet no matter how hard you tried to walk towards it, something kept you clued to the spot you were standing in. The night after you were able to make out their silhouette. The night after that the most beautiful man you have ever seen is revealed to you. Long, silver hair that cascades down his shoulders like a waterfall, framing his long face with sharp facial features. His one seeing eye rests on you, tirelessly. But he doesn´t speak to you. Not until the night before your flight.

Everything  is the same as always, the cliffs, the fog, the hauntingly beautiful, yet mysterious stranger in front of you. Holding you to his strong chest. And then, when his song falls silent, it gives way to an even smoother and more enchanting voice. `I will wait for you…´

His words bounce off the walls in your head like an echo. So much so that you almost miss your alarm clock to get to the airport in time. However, even as you run through the massive halls to still catch your flight the words won´t let go of you. Pushing you to run faster for some reason. The feeling or rather knowledge that there would be something special waiting for you in that small fisher village. Something that would change you.

The whole flight you buzz with a weird, new kind of energy, that you can´t place yet. It´s quite exhausting if you are honest with yourself, or maybe that’s just the lack of sleep from the previous nights. So it is no wonder that even though it is still early in the afternoon you fall asleep almost immediately after checking into your room at the inn.

Again you see that man in your dreams. This time there is no fog though. As far as you can see there are the cliffs and see near the village you are staying in. `You are so close. I can feel you already, ñuha jorrāelagon.´

You try to speak, but no words come out. His eye and really everything about him is so intense and ethereal, you couldn´t put it into words if you tried. Then again. `I´ll wait for you.´

Your eyes snap open. Heart beating so fast it threatens to break out of your chest in time with your labored breaths. A sheen of sweat covers your face and neck, making you shiver as you open up a window to let some fresh air in. Deciding it would be a smart idea to freshen up before you go to search some dinner, you make your way into the small bathroom, washing your face with a wet cloth and changing into something more presentable than the joggers from the flight.

Grabbing your bag and a phew essentials you make your way into the village. It´s more lively than you would have imagined. All the books and articles you have read about the Ironborn, you would have expected them to be a whole lot more cold, or at least a lot less chatty. Settling down in one of the bars, you quickly get roped into a conversation with two local women not much older than you are. Together the three of you drink, eat and they tell you about the people and surroundings. It´s truly interesting and you can´t get enough. They also tell you about the local legends and superstitions. It surprises you to see even the younger people believe in them so much. At home those tales where only believed in by the elderly.

One of your companions just opens her mouth to say something when everyone falls silent all at the same time. A shiver runs down your back from the open doors. Heavy steps sound through the room, coming to a stand behind you. The hairs at the back of your neck stand up as a breath hits the back of your neck. That very song from the nights before starts being hummed behind you.

“Won´t you even acknowledge me now that we have found each other, ñuha jorrāelagon.” The familiar voice addresses you.

Recognizing him instantly, you stand and turn around. “Who are you? How did you find me?”

“You already know who I am. I know you do.” He chuckles darkly, which makes goosebumps erupt all up your arms.

“Okay, still. How did you find me?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. Unwilling to give in to the pull this man has on you.

“I will answer you every question. Just as soon as we get to a more private and safe place.”

You sigh, outing some money down on the table and then start to leave. Him close behind you, ignoring the knowing eyes that burn into your back. Neither of you say a word until you reach a small part of beach. Only then you turn to him with expectantly raised eyebrows.

“How did you find me?” You ask again.

“We are meant to be. I didn´t find you as much as you found me. Everything in our lives has brought us to this point. To each other.” He takes a tentative step towards you, but you take one back. What he says sounds unbelievable, surreal.

“Why did everyone look at you this way? Why did they all go silent as you entered the bar?” You ask quietly. Crossing your arms once more, to shield yourself from the cold night air.

“Those people aren´t the most trusting. Though I suppose humanity is prone to be suspicious of anything they don´t entirely understand. Especially when they are prone to superstition in the first place.” He answers in such a way that makes this whole situation entirely normal and plausible, when in reality this was anything but.

“You speak of them as if you aren´t human…” A nervous chuckle leaves your lungs. It was meant as a joke to relief the tension between the two of you that began to grow suffocating.

“Even if I wasn´t… That would change nothing about the fact that we are meant to be with each other.” He takes another step towards you as you take another step back.

“Let me show you that I am telling you the truth.” He holds out his hands for you to take.

At first you are unsure about the whole thing. Yes, he is literally the man from your dreams, but at the same time hadn´t really answered none of your questions so far. Still, something in your subconscious leads you to join your hands with his. When he moves closer, the world around you disappears. It is only you and him left in a bubble far away from everything else. Then your lips touch his and a surge of energy passes through your body. Pictures of the two of you beyond the ones from your dream flash in front of your inner eye. Pulling a gasp from you with their intensity as his tongue presses against your lips to silently ask for entrance, which they are promptly granted. The warm muscle explores your mouth before entering a passionate dance with yours. Your lips pressing against each other hungrily. You pull him closer by the hands, which you let go off soon after to fist your fingers into his shirt. The stranger lays the two of you down on the beach. His weight pressing you down into the ground deliciously.

Pulling away from him for a second, you gasp for air. “You never even told me your name.”

“You already know it. Just listen inside yourself. I have told it to you before.” He is right. He had, the night before your journey.

“Aemond…” The way his name rolls off your tongue makes everything snap into place. It just feels right.

“Ñuha jorrāelagon…”

“You keep calling me that. What does it mean?” You lay your forehead against his unable to stay too far away from him.

“It means my love.” He whispers against your lips before joining them again.

Just like that you are transported back into the bubble. You don´t even realize when the two of you lose your clothes His breath taking kisses and the piercing gaze from his seeing eye in between call for all of your attention.

One of your hands rests against his scarred cheek, your thumb running along the scar with feather light touches.

“I´ve waited so long to finally meet you, my love. Let me prove to you the true depth of my feelings.” He breathes. The hot air from his lungs making the skin on your earlobe and neck prickle with the contrast it builds against the cold around you.

With one swift movement he enters you. Bottoming out before he starts to move out of you almost entirely. Pumping in and out of you in a slow pace. All the while, his hot lips never leave your body. Kissing down the curve of your neck and the point where it connects to your shoulder, over your collar bone, all the way down to your breasts. Nibbling on the soft flesh with gentle teeth until your back arches of the sandy ground into his chest, whining out his name. The slow pace is becoming too much, taking into factor that it has been a long time and a simple one of his touches set you alight with want.

“Please, move faster.” You beg. Pulling his face up to yours.

Teasingly tracing his lower lip with your tongue. The giddy feeling that makes your stomach flutter at every new touch spreading through your entire body, setting your nerves alight with the burning need for him. Stoked by the feathery brush of his lips.

You don´t need to beg again. He obliges immediately. His hips fully smacking against yours, one of his hands finding its way between your legs to play with your sensitive clit. Rubbing tight circles into the bundle of nerves, that make the sounds your bodies produce sound even more lewd. Pulling a string of moans as well as cries of his name from your lungs non-stop. They are met by his grunts of your name and groans of ecstasy.

Your hands hold onto his strong shoulders to keep you grounded. Digging your nails into his shoulder blades the more pleasure he brings you. Even if he clenches  his teeth, sucking in some air at the stinging pain, it drives him to drive into you faster and harder. The circles he rubs into your clit becoming tighter just like your core around him.

“I´m so close, Aemond…” You manage to whine. Pulling him closer by tightening your legs around his hips.

“I am too, my love… Let go. Come for me.” His voice is shaky in your ear, making your stomach flutter with butterflies once more. With a few more snaps of his hips the fluttering sensation wanders down to your core. Your walls tightening around his long cock, giving way to waves of pleasure crashing over you like the waves crashing into the sand a feet away from your bodies. Your hips tremble relentlessly even long after your orgasm has subsided. Rendering you unable to meet his thrusts any longer, though he doesn´t seem to be bothered by the fact that he was left to fuck into you until he reached his peak as well.

Your back arches up again as you feel his hot seed paint your insides. Never had that felt so magical. So right. So… good. For a moment the two of you just lay there, panting as you process what had just happened.

“I love you…” You whisper breathlessly.

“I love you more than words could ever express.” He whispers back. Pressing the sweetest kiss yet to your forehead.

After that he goes to pull out of you, but you keep him right where he is buried inside of you.

“Let´s stay like this for a bit longer.” You don´t care that his weight is slowly crushing you under him. The stretch just feels too right to end already.

In the end you fall asleep like this. Laid there on the beach shielded from any possibly prying eyes.

Only awoken by the sun breaking through the thick clouds, that seem to be a constant around here and the first waves licking at your toes.

“Good morning.” Aemond rasps into your ear.

“Good morning.” A smile instantly pulls on your face as memories from the previous night flood your mind.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks as if that was even a question.

“Perfectly.” You muse. Gazing deep into his lilac eye, making it unclear if you are answering his question or simply complimenting him. It doesn´t matter though as his mouth splits in a smile as well. Just as it doesn´t matter that your whole body hurts from the unfamiliar sleeping ground.

When you look down to see how far the water has risen though you are met with a sight that pushes another surprised gasp from your lips. There in place of Aemond´s legs is now a fishtail. The scales shimmering in the little sun that manages to break through the clouds. He follows your eyes and his face flushes a soft shade of pink.

“I didn´t plan on you finding out like this, but I guess I didn´t do anything to prevent it either by bringing you here like this, did I?”

“No, but in a way I already knew you were too good to be from this world.” You chuckle. “Can I…?”

You reach out to his tail. Not quite touching, before you get his agreement. He nods and so you run a hand over the scales. You don´t know what you expected them to feel like, but still it isn´t what you expected.

After a while he raises his voice again. “Are you ready to see my world?”

[itsabouttimex2]

YOOO (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) 🩷 I just wanted to say I like the way you convey and write characters. I also love your takes and perspectives on LMK. I find myself agreeing with you more often than not lol. I feel like some people in the fandom tend to portray Macaque or Mk as whiny hoes or uwu bottoms tbh (¬_¬). Which is whatever bc it’s their life ig but they be pissing and shitting them selves when someone doesn’t agree or align to what they think of these fictional characters, especially with the damm ships but I think that’s a problem in most fandoms tho (-_-｡). Anyway I just want to say I love and appreciate your works and your perspectives/opinions on specific characters, I personally love your blunt way of responding to things bc for me that’s the best way I can understand what someone is trying to say, most times I can’t really tell if someone has an undertone or meaning something else instead of what they’re actually saying y’know, (⊙﹏⊙✿).

You earned yourself a Freakbob🩷🖤🩷🖤🩷🖤🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

Okay, first of all- thank you so much! I’ve come to enjoy my writing far more than I did at the start of my blog, which makes me pretty happy- and other people enjoying it also is an absolute delight!

Also- LMAOO “Whiny hoes” is like… probably the best explanation for those two act in fanon.

I think it goes even a step further with MK and Macaque with how much I’ve seen people outright project onto them, which feels like a trend I’ve seen in general through fandoms-

Where people sort of “latch on” to a character with some shortcomings or “unrelatable” aspects, like being an asshole or maybe prone to shutting the world away instead of reaching out for help, which to some people makes characters not realistically flawed, but instead “wrongly” flawed, which they then try to “fix”.

MK/Macaque (any conventionally attractive/tall dark and handsome character gets put through this wringer, with Avatar’s Zuko being one I also distinctly recall undergoing it) usually gets whatever personality and identity the author had stapled onto him, and then given a stack of sadsack traits while anything “bad” or “mean” is scraped out because “that’s not relatable”.

Often the only “flaws” that are left are entirely PG and trend towards being utterly out of the character’s control, while simultaneously being “sympathetic” in nature, such as having anxiety, being insecure, being closed off from trauma, etc…

And for villainous/formerly-villainous characters like Macaque, fans start to sound more an abuser’s enablers than actual fans in a distinctly “The Narcissist’s Prayer” sort of way.

“He didn’t do anything bad!”

(Proof is shown of how they did do wrong.)

Okay, he did, but it wasn’t that big of a deal!”

(Proof to the contrary is shown.)

“Okay, it was kinda bad, but he didn’t mean it!”

(​‘He was just trying to teach MK a lesson’ yeah by torturing him and violating the consent and autonomy of three people. ‘Oh, but he just didn’t want MK to turn out like Wukong!’ By beating the kid around and mocking him? When it’s made clear that Macaque doesn’t understand either of them enough to deliver life lessons? ‘…he didn’t mean any of it!!!’)

Where the goalpost is shifted further and further and further back because people are so desperate to cling to that non-existent “perfectly relatable character” that they desperately try to undermine any actual flaws or shortcomings the character they pretend to love as is actually has.

And eventually you realize that at least some of these fans never really loved the character for anything other than their attractive shell, which has been long hollowed out and grifted with “unproblematic” flaws.

And I think this all in general is fueled by the continuous push for “non-problematic” content in general, in which a thing that is “bad” (intentionally or otherwise) somehow becomes “morally wrong” to enjoy.

[winters-on-the-wing]

my impression of the marauders as somebody who is extremely new to the fandom

this will probably make people mad. i am ready for that.

remus lupin -> he seems cool. his lore is fascinating. imagine being bitten by a werewolf and having your entire life ruined just because somebody has beef with your dad. that's some tea. i think his personality is cool, he seems very rough-and-tumble while also being quiet and plaintive, and i love how he has more street-smarts than book-smarts. the chocolate jokes are already getting old, though, i fear. besides aren't dogs allergic to chocolate?

sirius black -> this guy also seems cool. i like his natural swagger he's got going on. i hate how people are framing him as some "puppy dog" character when he's clearly got such a suave and effortless cool factor that clearly differentiates him from the others. i also think his lore is interesting. i love when the older sibling is the scapegoat, i feel like so often, the younger sibling is victimized in fandoms and i like the little reverse of expectations with that.

james potter -> THIS GUY IS MY FAVORITE HE IS LITERALLY ME. i think jegulus is stupid (to me, it just seems like a bunch of walking talking tropes, no real substance, and i hate how it frames james as some overly-masculinized knight-in-shining-armor archetype with no real personality of his own besides being regulus' savior), and i love how he defends lily from the others' teasing. i adore how his lore and personality set him up for such an interesting character development. it is so interesting to follow an uncorrupted child who has never known pain, to see him throw himself into harm's way because he feels like he has to. i also LOVE that he is a deer because i've always seen myself a deer-like sort of person. and oh did i mention that james is literally me? also his personality seems like such a nice mix of mr. popular and a fantastical, elvish presence.

peter pettigrew -> idk how to feel about him. he kinda pisses me off but i also feel like too many people are writing him off when he has the potential to be just as interesting a character as all the others. i kind of resent the idea that he was a "traitor" type from the start because the idea of him being a traitor is supposed to be a huge surprise that nobody saw coming. i love the idea of him being like a well-meaning jokester sort of person who sometimes goes too far, but just wants to be liked and wants to belong very badly.

regulus black -> okay so this is probably very unpopular but i think regulus is such an interesting antagonist. i don't want to redeem him. i don't want to ship him with any of the marauders. i think he best serves the universe as an antagonist role, somebody who holds so much bitterness and fear in his soul, to the point where he is destroying himself and everything around him to try and get what he wants - but the problem is that he does not know what he wants. i previously mentioned that i think the ship between him and james is dumb, and i stand by that. i think it would be cooler if regulus and james were sort of like enemies, though not overtly. regulus feels like james is taking away sirius and further corrupting him, destroying who sirius was. james feels like regulus is preventing sirius from growing and escaping his life of misery. but the thing is, they both love sirius. just in very complex ways. i love the idea of regulus being a tortured villain, his situation does not excuse his awful actions, but they explain them in a way that makes your heart ache for him, and then makes you feel like a weird asshole for feeling bad for him. that just seems so cool to me.

lily evans -> this is MY GIRLLL. i think she is so cool, so sweet and smart. the only thing with her that i find a bit annoying is that she's close with snape, who i find super annoying. but i love her attitude and her vibe. she's a strong woman without being one of those obnoxious "i'm a strong female character" archetypes. her strength lies in her actions, not her words. i also do think that her relationship with james is adorable and i hesitate to throw it away for the sake of gay ships, but i do think canon deviance with the marauders ships offers so much creative freedom, so james is not the only person i could potentially see her with. i think she could offer such an amazing platonic role in any story, and i hate the notion that the only storyline she offers is a romantic connection with james.

marlene mckinnon -> again, i am obsessed with her. i do not know much about her compared to the other characters, but what i do know about her, i love. i think she is so fun, and her personality is a great mix of strength and integrity. she sort of reminds me of a happier version of katniss from the hunger games. willing to fight for what she believes in, but she uses her power to support her values. i also feel like she and katniss have a similar dry humor that is so funny without even trying. i also love the idea that out of all the marauders, she is among the ones with the least emotional intelligence, in the sense that she isn't a "voice of reason" character like lily is. i hate when all of the woman characters are magically emotional geniuses.

severus snape -> i think he is incredibly annoying and i hate the narrative that he's just a poor baby who was bullied by the marauders. i just feel like he has such a victim complex about everything, and a lot of jealousy when it comes to his relationship with lily. i get that he did not have as much social power as the marauders, but if you play with fire, you're going to get burnt. i don't view him as completely unsympathetic per se, but i much prefer to view him from an antagonistic lens. he just seems like such a whiner. like if you don't want people to make fun of you, then don't be an asshole to them? maybe i am being overly harsh, but as somebody who was bullied, i think it is ridiculous to frame snape's situation as bullying because he is literally such an instigator. the whole point of bullying is that it is unprompted. like come on he is NOT a little wet cat of a victim.

and the other characters, i do not know enough about to form a coherent opinion. i do know of dorcus, alice, preston, and emmaline, but not nearly enough. i would love some advice on who they are and what they contribute to the story!

also i have not read all of "all the young dudes", i made it to chapter nine and then got overwhelmed by all the names, so i got the quick cliffsnotes of the lore from my best friend. i don't care about spoilers, i would actually love them!

also please don't get mad about my opinions, this is all lighthearted and again, i don't know shit about this fandom so i am pulling most of this out of my ass.

[existentialcrisistime]

D&D: Honor Among Thieves (Xenk/Edgin) fic rec list:

These are just based on those I've read and loved so far. There are so many incredible works coming out of this new fandom that I'm sure I'll have enough recs for a second post in another month or so.

Because this turned onto a bit of a long post, the recs are below the cut.

I've marked the rating by each fic, but please do mind the tags!

Curse of the Green Hag by @moorishflower (E, 16k)

Xenk contracts a fuck-or-die curse and turns up on Edgin's doorstep for the first time since Neverwinter. Also contains an excellent cameo from Holga, a bit of bondage, Xenk's first time, and A Lot of emotions. And of course the actual smut is top tier. Already wanting to read this one again.

High Praise Indeed by enchantedsleeper (T, 3k)

Xenk stops by Holga and Edgin's cottage to find Edgin in the throes of a breakup. In the process of trying to persuade Edgin of his many worthy qualities, he accidentally reveals a little too much. Short and very sweet, with cameos from Holga and Kira. Would recommend for fans of pining idiots.

in the absence of truth by @floralprintshark (E, 13k)

Five times Ed says that he hates Xenk and one time he doesn't. Yes, a 5+1 things, but oh it's so much more than that! There are heists and hijinks, accidental asshole Edgin, uncertain and inexperienced Xenk, and a hint of polyamory between Simon and Doric, but the whole party are featured and written perfectly here. Also contains Many emotions. I sent this one to the group chat, and we were ALL screaming about it (in the best way)

Universal Glue by Korwwa (E, 10k)

A rescue mission goes wrong, and Xenk and Edgin get caught in, yes, a glue trap. The premise may sound like a crack fic, but it's definitely taken seriously, whilst still being very fun. Plus a wee bit of angst for (delicious) seasoning.

Scraping the Moss Off the Standing Stones by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (E, 4k)

Established relationship, Xenk comes home after a long time away and Edgin takes care of him. Oh boy, this fic sure packs a lot into just 4k words, and I feel like the author just Gets how I imagine Xenk - always seen as holy or evil, but just wanting to be treated like a person. Also very hot - I'm weak for some well-written dirty talk and this is perfect.

When the well runs dry by demon_faith (G, 2k)

Part one of the Time Heals All Wounds series, which can either be read as a series or as stand-alone fics. Established relationship, Edgin is badly injured, and Xenk is unable to heal him. A classic hurt/comfort with a good bit of Edgin whump, and Xenk struggling with the reality of that.

On the edge of a blade by demon_faith (T, 3k)

Part two of the series, again established relationship. This time, Xenk gets badly hurt, and it's up to Edgin to take care of him. Heavy on both the hurt and the comfort.

lay on hands by @hauntedfalcon (E, 2k)

A getting-together/first-time fic, with a healthy dose of body worship. Xenk gets off on Edgin's metaphors. Beautifully written, and also my initial thoughts were - this is an author who sure is clued up on the names of medieval clothing/armor.

half your life (you've been hooked on death) by roundtriptojupiter (T, 2.5k)

Edgin struggles to process the events of the past six months, when Xenk turns up at his doorstep. Or, Edgin and Xenk process grief together, then kiss about it. A great exploration of Edgin's emotions, not only regarding Zia and Holga, but of the other people he may have harmed along the way.

We can burn much brighter (if we don't look back) by enchantedsleeper (T, 6k)

Xenk apprehends Forge and learns of the events that transpired at Neverwinter. Grappling with the fact that his past almost repeated itself while he was too far away to help, he encounters Edgin. Such a lovely post-movie fic, exploring just how Edgin and Xenk are processing their feelings in the wake of it.

Do you know you'll never fly alone? by MayGlenn (T, 1.2k)

Something a bit more light-hearted to end the recs list on: a fix-it of sorts, but for the poor undead guy in the post-credits scene. Xenk takes Edgin on a late night ride, to fix an issue he'd left behind, but maybe for something more also...

And that's that for now! Please do feel free to recommend your favourite D&D: Honor Among Thieves fics in return, or yell about which of these you loved the most. My comments and inbox are always open :))

And to the fic writers (and all fic writers out there), thank you so much for sharing these stories with us! You're all absolutely wonderful, talented people <3

[sunny-mercya]

His Reasons

Rusty Ryan x Male Reader

Fandom -> Ocean's Trilogy

Masterlist

When Danny, after being out of prison, asked Rusty to join him at a Grand Coup—Rusty had only agreed halfway to it. After all he wanted to know what exactly they would rob and risking their lives and freedom for.

And when Danny told him, they gonna rob three Casinos in good old Viva Las Vegas, Rusty wanted to know a good enough reason for him to join in such madness of nonsense.

And Danny, like the best friend and charming asshole he is, told Rusty the only valid reason;

»If we pull this off and I promise you, we will, you can finally move with [Name] to wherever your heart desires and afford the safety you have promised him.«

Danny was right, hitting a wound point in Rusty's ego, because there had been one thing Rusty couldn't give you and that was protection. Protection you from a past, you wouldn't be able to free yourself if you don't have a certain amount of money to pay for.

»Okay. I'm in, but if we fail I'm gonna send you personally to hell, Danny boy.«

Rusty might have agreed, trusting and believing in his friend that they will manage this with a 100 percentage chance of successful winning—but he also know what price it would cost him, because if they indeed fail it would be you who Rusty would lose and you're more worth to him than all the money and jewels in the world.

~~~

So far, the whole plan went, besides absolutely minor improvements of differences, hellbent well.

Rusty could almost imagine the millions, billions, of money he would have. Enough money to buy you free and finally move to either (f.country) or sweet California.

Just you and him, Rusty thought, imagining the new life—fully secure, comfortable and happy healthy—he would have with you and maybe a big family with lots of dogs and cats (and perhaps Danny, because he's your self-proclaimed older brother)

„Uh, uhm, Rusty there's–“ „Rusty, there's a problem. A You problem.“

»What?« asked Rusty, scrunching up his face in confusion. Another problem? What sort of you-problem do they mean?

„Look towards the entrance.“

»Fuck. Give me some minutes to handle this guys.«

»Robert Russel James Ryan! You do not write me a letter with such unbelievable heinous words and leave our house in such fucking manners. How fucking dare you! Do you know how fucking worried I was?!«

A few people had turned their heads, when you had marched forward to Rusty and shouted in anger at him.

Ouch, shouting his full name—yeah, you're furious and it was Rusty's own damn faulty mistake. Indeed a You-Problem.

Rusty took a few steps forward to you, having his hands up in surrender, wanting to appease you. Honestly, he haven't seen you this angry ever since Danny and him had a bloody fist fight with your "Boss", which they lost—of course, as they couldn't win against a knife and knuckleheads—and you were so furious with them, that they were taken back with the amount of cursing you said at them, while treating their wounds.

»Hey, love, watcha you doing here?«

»Don't come with such bullshit. You know perfectly well, why the fuck I'm here. So tell me now, Russel, the fuck are you and Danny—and I know that fucker is here as well—suspiciously planning to do here?!«

Rusty inhaled and exhaled deeply through his nose, trying to think of a way to get you away from here—before you causing more disturbance and a possible fail to the plan. Then again, he could use you for a good distraction, but no—no, no, he had sworn himself to not do such things with you.

Gripping your arms gently, Rusty pulls you close to his side and leads you away to a more secluded area of waiting.

~~~

Waking up to an empty bedside next to you and discovering your husband is not in your shared apartment, even though he told he would be on time back—and that has been days ago, I mind you—brought a lot of unpleasant thoughts through your mind.

There could be many things happening to Rusty; him having a accident, in a hospital and injured, arrested—your husband is certainly not a innocent man, he had done some bad and dangerous awful things of illegally, you're aware of it—or worst case scenario, your Boss quit the deal and killed Rusty.

You started to walk through your tiny apartment, still clothes in pyjamas—shorts and one of Rusty's oversized shirts—mind going haywire with everything and anything; be it the due bills, another round of grocery shopping—as Rusty is a total glutton and eats more than you and probably has an endless pit of a stomach—which you don't know how to pay for, the payment deal, Rusty being gone and probably killed and you still being jobless.

A lot of things for a tiny mind like yours to think about.

Then, while you cleaned, you found a note—definitely from Rusty and when you read it, you screamed in disbelief.

Yeah, sure, do a few days trip to Las Vegas and just don't tell me personally, not even the reasons for it—you thought, scoffing at your Husband, who's a buffoon

~~~

»Rusty, you tell me now why you and Danny are here.«

»I can't love, it's a surprise«

Perhaps, in perspective, Rusty should have told you personally about his little trip and possibly heist, but then it wouldn't be a surprise and loved to surprise you.

»Fuck your surprise. I thought he called off the deal, I thought he had killed you. I was worried sick.«

»I know, I know, dear. I apologise, I shouldn't have told you via note, could this prince forgive a humble man like me?«

Rusty leaned in closer, whispering the last few words in your ear as he ask for your forgiveness and kissing your cheek, when you remained silent.

„Not to bother, but time management?“

Rusty rolled his eyes, the guys could be such mood killers and a pain of annoyance in the ass. The gang was his gang though and he had a job to fulfil.

»Need to go, love. Meet me at Helios-Motel in like two hours.« Rusty kissed your lips, a gentle kiss it was and gave you the Motel-Keys.

Before Rusty could stand up and go, you had taken ahold of his hand.

»You promised me, you and Danny will be safe and unharmed?«

»Always, my love«

And when Rusty flashed you his signature grin, you let him go—knowing he wouldn't break his promise.

[shrimpalbuspotter]

This post was made in request from one of my best friends who I had a long discussion with last night about James Potter being an asshole so it's a bit messy. Anyway here

There's a specific way the Marauders fandom seem to characterise James that appears to be a fanon made thing. It's never pointed towards in canon, infact it's probably more so denied in canon, but I want to talk about how it actually works as a descriptor... sort of.

"James is like the sun"

Now, to describe someone as being "sunny" is to call them happy, optimistic, positive, and upbeat. They wouldn't be quick to anger, they'd often be told they light up a room just by being there, and they'd just be incredibly likable.

I just don't think this version of the term fits him. We see in Snapes Worst Memory that when Sirius and James get bored after their DADA exam, James first idea is to bully Snape. And it's obvious this isn't the first time they've done it so spontaneously. This isn't something a sunny person would do, a more realistic depiction of what a sunny James would say is "Let's go grab our brooms!" Or "Lets go take a dip in the lake!". The first fits the fact he was literally fidgeting with a snitch before he got up to walk over to Snape, and the second one fits more with the rather spur of the moment, fun-chasing personality we see him with. They wouldn't be malicious, and he'd be so hyped up about it that even if Sirius didn't want to do either, he'd get excited anyway. And also, you can't describe someone as a sunny person just because they made a large group of people laugh when it's at the cost of another (and not from something like a prank, which I'd accept as being un malicious if it affected more than 4 people at a time), because that's not being sunny, that's just being a dick.

But even so, I do think describing James as "like the sun" is a better version. Because it can mean something different from being "sunny".

A sun is a star, infact it's the largest star in our galaxy! For someone to be "like the sun", they could be the center of attention. James may enjoy doing things like "pranking" Snape (which lets be real, was clearly the best target for them simply because he was a nobody Slytherin who had one friend, meaning noone would care if they did bully him) for the sole purpose of people thinking he's hilarious. Doing big stunts in the Greathall or strutting about Hogwarts like he owns the place, because he feels like a king.

But the sun also does other things. Firstly, it burns. It's an angry flame that destroy eveything. much like James! Harry describes Lily as looking at James with utter hatred, and he can't blame her for the fact. Then James proceeded to Bully Snape even after he got together with Lily, but this time more secretively. No more flashy pranks or hexes in the hallways when Lily is on his hip. He got what he wanted, and he continued to burn those around him anyway. Also its knowledge that he would just hex people in the hallway for fun.

Another thing the sun is is "overwhelming". Its too much to take in, and it gets incredibly annoying at times, but you know you'd miss it when winter comes so you would never wish for it to be gone. This one is a bit more of me being speculative and assuming things than actually pointing shit out from the books... but i think this is reminiscent to how Remus felt. He was Bullied as a child, he had no friends, mixed with how he was a Werewolf? Weesh.. So by the time he was at Hogwarts, he was most likely expecting to just be lonely again. But no! He met Peter, and he wasn't popular but Remus would've been glad to just talk to somebody. Then he met James (and Sirius, but this aint about him), and by god, he practically shone. To Remus, being friends with someone who seemed so popular and excited and loud would've been an extremely far away dream. Then James asked him to be his friend and why would Remus turn that down.

Then you cut to further into Hogwarts, and it becomes obvious James was more of a troublemaker than Remus expected. And sure, watching another person get bullied when he knows he used to be that person might be cowardly, but what was he supposed to do besides a little reprimanding? James offered him a hand when he had nothing, then the rest of the Marauders proceeded to become unregistered Anamagi for him aswell, and seemed more than happy to help out during the full moon. If he really did give them in trouble, they could get angry (he knows how quick to anger Sirius and James can be), and they might even dislike him enough to tell everyone about his furry secret. So he decided to keep playing blissfully ignorant, because they "aren't always like that".

So yeah. He's overwhelming the way the sun is! He can just be too much sometimes, and is honestly a little scary, but you know you'd need him.

ANYWHOO. yeah. That was the post! I'm not sure if it makes sense as I did just barely wake up but ya know, I had my brain juices flowing. If there's anything that doesn't make sense or you can add anything on please do because I think I had alot more to say when I was talking about it last night but I can't remember currently.

[angelltheninth]

Lying to Keep a Smile

Pairing: Xena x Gabrielle

Febuwhump Day 26: Concealing an Injury

Tags: angst, injury, hurt/comfort, concealing an injury, mentioned fights, flirting, kissing

Word count: 0.8k

Ao3

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions | Event Masterlist

A/N: These two, I still can't believe we got to see so much of their romance on screen, also they literally dressed up and traveled together.

There's been something off about Xena for the past day. Her posture seemed a bit to stuff, her skin a bit paler than usual, and she made no sudden movements even when something caught her attention. This wasn't just her being her normal badass self, there was something here that wasn't sitting right with Gabrielle.

But she couldn't force Xena to talk to her, that would only make the warrior retreat into her shell more. "Should we stop for the day? I'm a little tired." She mumbled against the back of Xena's neck. She knew that Xena would stop if Gabrielle said she needed to. Yes, it was a dirty tactic but one had to resort to them on occasion when one's partner is as stubborn as Gabrielle's.

"Sure, if you're tired. We'll find a good spot and then I'll go find some wood to light the fire." That still didn't sound good to Gabrielle. Xena didn't look so well and the last thing that Gabrielle wanted was for her to get sick so far from any town she knows.

"I'll get the wood, you figure out what we're gonna eat tonight. I chose every time for the past week, it's only fair." Xena would see right through that lie. Here come the arguments.

"I see. Okay then, I'll see what we have." This was worse than Gabrielle thought.

They managed to find a nice spot to settle down for the night and after getting Argo some water and apples, Gabrielle went out to gather wood for the fire. She would have spent a lot more time on it but she was honestly in a rush to get back to Xena as soon as possible. She swears she saw her wince when she was walking.

Only a couple of steps away from their camp she heard Xena cursing.

"Be honest Argo, how bad is it?" Argo nudged Xena in the shoulder. "No, I won't worry her. This will pass, I closed it up well enough."

"You closed what up?" Gabrielle asked from behind.

"Gabrielle! Ah, fuck!" Xena jumped but as she did her hand flew to just above her hip.

Gabrielle set the logs down, her eyes never leaving Xena's pained form. "Take your armor off."

"A-Already? I know it's been a few days but we could at least wash up." She was ready to walk off right before Gabrielle stepped in front of her. She was shorter, didn't have as much muscle mass, but her glare was nothing to laugh at. Xena gulped and shifted in place. "Can you be on top tonight?"

"Xena!" Gabrielle stepped forward. "Either be honest with me or let me see what's wrong."

Xena sighed and looking very guilty she took her armor and shirt off.

The bruise under her ribs was already turning black and blue.

"When did this happen?" What happened in the few hours when she left her alone in the tavern? "Did you get into a fight?"

"Hah, it's been a long time since anyone fussed over me so much. Who is the ex-warlord here, hm, Gabrielle?" Xena tried to brush off Gabrielle's concerns but the bard wasn't backing down at all. In fact she looked at her even harsher. "It wasn't a big deal, but was a big guy. I didn't think he could hit that hard, or hit me at all. In my defense I was defending the tavern keeper from a mob of rowdy assholes."

"I get that, but weren't there guards there? Do you have to get involved in everything?" She reprimanded her even though she would have done the same for sure.

"Yes, Gabrielle, I do." The words looked like they hurt more than the bruise itself. Gabrielle sighed, she knew shy Xena felt this way, she wanted to make everything right, fix everyone's problems, do good whenever she can, never turn a blind eye to the people in need again.

"Then can you at least tell me when there's trouble so I can stay and help. And don't you dare tell me that you don't want me to get hurt! Think of how I feel every time you run into danger and I have to chase after you, or worse when I don't even know about it! I'm your partner, your Gods damn soulmate aren't I?!" While she was angry at her she was also worried about her so she sat her down and angerly kissed her. It was an angry kiss, trust her. "One of these days I'll have to put a bell on you or something."

"Gabrielle you're..." Overreacting is what she wanted to say. But if the roles were reversed not only would Xena fuss over Gabrielle but she would track down whoever hurt her lover. "I love you."

"And I love you but you were still reckless. Honestly, when did our roles reverse?" That was true. Before it was always Xena trying to stop Gabrielle from getting hurt, but now it was the other way around. Honestly Gabrielle didn't like it. She would much more prefer that neither of them got hurt.

However that wasn't part of their reality, so the best she could do right now was make sure Xena got as much rest as possible.

[markantonys]

the single best thing the show could do for the polycule is a very simple change: make it happen on purpose. make all four members work together from the beginning to set up a poly relationship intentionally, rather than stumbling into one due to a mix of miscommunication and Fate Said So.

in the books, rand thinks he's having a series of unconnected romantic encounters with three different women and has no idea a polycule is developing until the women come to him to propose the final product. it is documented that the reason rj wrote it this way is because it's inspired by a similar situation he was once in, so i can't exactly blame him for writing based off personal experience, but it does cause several problems in the story.

Problems:

a) rand has little to no input on his own relationship(s) and spends the whole series being extremely passive in his love life. this makes him come across as at best a victim to the whims of his partners who is not allowed to express what HE wants out of the relationship, and at worst an asshole who doesn't really care about any of them as people and doesn't care what arrangements the three of them work out so long as he gets to fuck SOMEONE. it also means that the romances don't have as much of an emotional impact on him/his character development as they should (and as they do on the women) because he's just kinda floating along going "oh whatever you guys want, makes no difference to me."

b) elayne and aviendha get a bad fandom rap as being bad partners to rand because they confuse him on purpose and play games with him. like most of elayne's (in particular) bad fandom raps, this is an unfair exaggeration, but it's rooted in the fact that rj wanted rand to wind up in a polycule by accident rather than helping arrange a polycule on purpose, which means that rand has to hook up with 3 different women in a row without realizing that a polycule is brewing, without having discussed the idea of additional partner(s) with his prior partner(s) and gotten their permission to hook up with other people, AND without coming across as a cheater. which means that rand has to believe himself sufficiently broken up with the prior woman before he can hook up with the next one, which means that elayne has to send him conflicting letters so that he can get away with hooking up with aviendha and aviendha has to freeze him out so that he can get away with hooking up with min.

("they're just greedy/indecisive/cheaters" is probably the biggest harmful stereotype against poly people, and the above approach from the books flirts with that far too much, so the show definitely needs to change that. the majority of people have a very very difficult time understanding polyamory (just look at tumblr, where even the ~wokest~ WOT fans are saying the polycule should be split up into 2 monogamous pairings bc they think the poly aspect is "weird" and they insist that elayne Actually loves aviendha the most or rand Actually loves min the most and that they can't possibly REALLY mean it when they say they love multiple people equally), which is why it's especially important that the show portray it in a way where it's abundantly clear that it's not cheating or rand being greedy/indecisive/stringing a bunch of women along.)

c) the problem for the other 3's approach to the polycule is miscommunication. the problem for min's is Fate Said So. she is rammed into the polycule by prophecy rather than by spending enough time with the other parties to come to want it on her own, and so she coasts along on "you have to let me join your relationship because it's fated to happen no matter what" rather than needing to put in the same work elayne and aviendha do of bonding with each other, making an effort to learn about aiel polyamory practices (in elayne's case), and growing to genuinely want to share their partner with each other and to genuinely enjoy seeing the other happy with him.

the result is min feeling out of place in the relationship: elayne constantly thinks about how she loves rand and aviendha equally, then sometimes hastily adds min as an afterthought; aviendha is very firm that she can't share rand with elayne until they're first-sisters, but shrugs and makes an exception for min for no reason (but then proceeds to think how she wishes she didn't have to share her partner with a near-stranger); min barely cares about the other two and frequently thinks how she wishes she could just have rand to herself and it's unfair that she has to share him. it's a very glaring contrast how elayne and aviendha come to feel genuine joy and compersion at rand's love for the other, while the most positive thought min ever has is "if i HAVE to share (which i'd rather not), then elayne isn't the worst option for a co-partner."

on this last point, monogamous people forcing themselves to try out polyamory for their poly partner's sake (which is absolutely how book!min comes across) is something that happens and gets people hurt irl, and contributes to the societal misconception that polyamory never works out long term and that a choice will inevitably have to be made (again, see tumblr deciding that the endgame will have to be elayne & aviendha happily monogamous in caemlyn and reddit that it will have to be rand & min happily monogamous traveling the world). so if the show is going to portray polyamory, imo it has a responsibility to show that it is a viable long-term relationship type that people can be genuinely happy in. thus, all 4 parties need to choose this type of relationship because they want it, not because fate said they had to, and especially min since she's the one who is the most explicitly in the "only doing this bc fate" camp in the books (whereas rand, elayne, and aviendha all come across as genuinely polyamorous people who likely would have settled on this arrangement even without prophecy foreknowledge).

Solutions:

i made a post recently-ish with a hypothetical timeline for 8 seasons of the show, so if i make any unexplained assumptions in this section about what seasons various characters will be spending time together during, that's where they came from.

i feel pretty confident that rand/aviendha will be the first romance we see in the show, since he's still getting over his much-more-serious-than-the-book-version relationship with egwene and it would make sense to give him season 2 to finish that up and to hold off on new romance for him until season 3. i'm predicting he and aviendha will also meet elayne at falme in 2x08, but i also expect the characters will set off on their TSR roadtrips by the end of 3x01 at the latest, which gives rand and elayne no more than 1-2 episodes together - enough to establish Crush Vibes, but not enough to actually have anything happen between them. so, the show will go out of order and start with rand/aviendha.

which is a perfect way of changing the polycule from accidental to intentional! having rand's first romance be with the partner who is from a poly-aware culture means that the entire set of relationships is now being built off a poly-aware base. from the get-go, aviendha can explain the concept of polyamory to rand and make it clear to him that she is comfortable with that sort of relationship, which means that they can get together and stay together rather than needing to backslide so that rand has an excuse to go off and fuck other people. he doesn't need excuses if he instead has permission! also, rand/elayne not having happened yet would mean aviendha has no reason to feel guilty and pull away from rand after sleeping with him.

so, rand and aviendha are solidly together and poly-curious by the time they reunite with elayne in s4. aviendha can see that rand and elayne like each other, so she encourages them to get together, and rand/elayne can indeed get together without rand/aviendha needing to be tanked first since rand and aviendha are both on the same pro-poly page. elayne knows a little about polyamory from meeting bain and chiad at falme (and maybe from meeting alanna or other greens at the tower), and she has feelings for rand but also likes aviendha and doesn't want to interfere with their relationship, so she is happy to agree to the arrangement. but she still has plenty to learn about aiel ways and about aviendha, and aviendha wants to become first-sisters as is proper, so even without aviendha having toh to elayne for banging rand, the two of them still have a reason to want to bond and grow closer (and for the show, this arc will result in them falling in love instead of or in addition to becoming first-sisters).

so we've fixed the narrative relying on miscommunication to get rand, elayne, and aviendha into the polycule. now to fix the reliance on Fate Said So for min. we can safely say that she's already had her 3-women viewing judging by that line in s1, so she already knows the polycule is fated. this in itself is fine - wrestling with knowing you're fated to love someone is an interesting character arc if done well and done sparingly [sideeyes rj on both counts]. what needs to be changed is how min USES this foreknowledge.

don't have her share it with elayne, aviendha, or rand until after the four of them have gotten together naturally. have her discuss the viewing with her aunts in s2 (or, hell, even with mat, could be a good way to contribute to the friendship they're supposed to have at the end of the series) instead of with elayne, and have her say she knows who 2/3 of the other people are but would never want to tell them about this viewing because it sucks to know you're fated to love someone before it's happened and she'd hate to burden anyone else with that knowledge. have her keep the viewing to herself because she wants rand and elayne (and aviendha, tho min doesn't yet know who she is) to have the freedom to fall in love by choice, even though she herself can't have that freedom. (shit, now that i write it out i actually LOVE the idea of mat being the one she's having this convo with since he too will soon be struggling with a Fated Romance.)

in the books, by telling elayne soon after meeting her that she'll have to share her boyfriend with 2 others and then in salidar going "one of them is me btw so you'd better give me permission to fuck your boyfriend when i see him soon," it feels like min is using her viewing to bully elayne (and later aviendha) into letting her join the relationship. min telling rand in eotw that he shouldn't bother with egwene because they won't end up together also contributes to this vibe, and the show has thankfully already cut out that moment, so i have high hopes that they're attempting to make min more..........empathetic, i guess, in terms of how she uses her viewings. book!min is understandably afraid of being left out in the cold since she doesn't know which if any of them rand will love back, so she uses her viewings to prime the other parties to be willing to Let Her In when the time comes, basically, but it's still kind of a shitty thing to do. however, so far, due to being older and much more mature and much more reluctant to share viewings, show!min gives me the vibes that she would rather quietly resign herself to unrequited love than have to burden other people with the knowledge that their love is Foretold (particularly once she comes to view elayne as a friend in s2).

so, if min doesn't share the viewing with elayne and aviendha in advance, then she will have to join the relationship naturally, by spending time with and getting to know all 3 parties, rather than by telling them they have to let her in because Fate Said So. i see space for all 4 of them to be in the same place together during season 4, while avirandlayne is brewing but min is still just a friend, so that would be a great time for min to bond with them all prior to getting with rand (and maybe as a result, rand develops a crush on her and confesses it to elayne and aviendha, who are happy to give him permission because they already know and like min; alternately, rand has an obvious crush on min but is totally oblivious about it, so elayne and aviendha tease him like "if there is...............anyone else you're interested in.............maybe a certain bartender............you can totally go for it" and rand is adorably baffled as to why they believe he has a crush on min, and then in season 5 he finally Realizes).

and like, wouldn't it be so cute if after the four of them are in a committed polycule, min finally says "hey, i actually had a viewing ages ago that this would happen, but i didn't want to tell you guys and make you feel pressured to love each other" and they all have a good laugh about it together? that would be SO cute!

so, overall, the seeds of a wonderful polycule are there in the books, and the show doesn't have to make a TON of tweaks to help it live up to its best potential! i'm really excited to see what they do with it because it's such a unique romance storyline and one of my favorite aspects of the series, it just needs the Updating For 2020s touch (and the Updating To Reflect The Way Real Human Adults Behave And Communicate With Each Other touch) that the show has so far excelled at applying.

[sheeple]

Unconditional

GIF NOT MINE. THIS IS ALL FICTION. Genre(s): Modern!au / College/Uni!au / Mob!au / Chubby!Aegon Fandom(s): House of the Dragon (TV show) Pairing(s): Aegon Targaryen x fem!reader Summary:  When Helaena's 'friend' suddenly comes into the picture, something about her draws Aegon in. Even when signs point to run as far, far away as he can. Warning(s): Ooc Aegon? He's a poor little insucure Meow Meow / Mob-related violence / Name calling (positive?) / Aegon has mommy issues but we already knew that / overprotective Aemond / whiney Aeg / slight Sub!Aeg / Smut? P in V (only brief) / unprotected devil’s tango [Masterlist] [Moodboard] [Teaser] [Playlist] [Instagram profiles]

Aegon is cold, wet, and overall grumpy. He missed breakfast this morning because he slept in, all thanks to his hangover. "When is this friend of yours supposed to come, Hel?"

Both Helaena and Aemond roll their eyes annoyed. They have been standing outside waiting for five minutes while it slowly started to rain. Aemond told him to bring a jacket or umbrella, but Aegon just laughed and said umbrellas are for wimps.

Aemond looks down at his older brother with a smug grin as he angles his black umbrella so that droplets fall on Aegon's head.

At that moment, a flashy sports car comes speeding around the corner and stops in front of their feet. A window rolls down and loud phonk music pours out.

A woman ─ you ─ leans over and smiles widely at Helaena, "hey, sugar tits. You wanna have a good time?"

Both the Targaryen boys' eyes grow wide. How dare someone talk like that to their sister? Aemond is ready to throw some fists but is stopped by Helaena giggling in glee.

She opens the car door and falls on the seat with a smile. "Do you even know what a good time is slut?"

Unsurely, the two brothers also get in the car and before they are buckled in, the car speeds away.

While Helaena grabs your phone and changes the music, Aegon studies you through the mirror. A careless smile adores your face as his sister switches the music to something more to her taste, eyes flicking between the road and the girl next to you.

Aemond is the first of the brothers to speak up. "How do you two... know each other." He raises an eyebrow as he looks sceptically at you. 

You make eye contact with Aemond's single eye. "We took the same class in our first year before I─"

The loud grumbling of Aegon's stomach interrupts your sentence, making you look at him through the rearview mirror. 

"Sorry", mumbles Aegon in embarrassment. His cheeks colour bright red as he lays a hand on his belly.

"Are you okay, Darling?"

The concern surprises the white-haired man. He has never met a person who ─ immediately after meeting someone ─ shows so much concern. Not even his mother does it, and she's been 'caring' for him for almost twenty-six years. 

Aegon shakes his head. "N-no... I just haven't eaten yet."

A frown grows on your face. "You have to eat well, Darling. Do you need me to stop somewhere? There is a Taco Bell not far from here."

The three Targaryen siblings are baffled. Helaena is used to you wanting to take care of everybody around you, but this is new. Never in the years she knows you has she seen you immediately being so... you to anyone so quickly.

While Aegon sputters and stumbles over his words, claiming that he's okay, he has a pizza in the fridge waiting for him, Aemond's eye darkens. Something's off about you. He knows that. And it's not for the fact that you're kind to his brother.

It's for the fact that your knuckles have bandages messily taped over them, blood seeping through the gauze on the inside. Is that why you were late?

Your eyes meet Aemond's single on accident through the rearview mirror and you cock your head to the side. What's his problem? Ever since he set foot in your car, you have felt his glare on the back of your head.

You turn your attention back to Helaena, who's telling a story about that one asshole professor the both of you had in the first year. And how he hasn't changed in all those years.

"He then turns to this girl who sits in the front row and says: 'that means that one of your ancestors was a bastard from Dorne, seeing as your last name is Sand'. I swear this girl would burst out in tears the way he said." Helaena angrily folds her arms over each other with a huff.

You shake your head. "Prof Rys never had chill. I bet he is a bastard himself or something, the way he acts about them."

Before Helaena can retort back, Aemond buts in.

"What do you do, exactly?", he snarks, "if you're not going to uni, what do you do?"

"Aemond!", scolds Helaena, turning around and whacking him on his head.

You laugh, "it's okay, Len. I own multiple clubs, bars, and pubs all around the country."

"And for that, you need bruised knuckles?" Aemond challenges you. You know that. He is searching for more, for something behind the curtain.

The cat gets filled with awkward tention while Helaena throws daggars at her brother.

"Oh would you look at that", you say in faux surprise, stopping in front of their building. "Look's like you're home." Your smile drops and you glower coldly at the youngest Targaryen sibling.

Aemond practically kicks the door open and scowls inside the building, his hands in his pockets. Helaena apologises to you embarrassed.

"It's okay, love. He clearly hasn't had his day. We text?"

"We text." She squeezes your hand before getting out.

You roll down the passenger's window and smile at Aegon, who stands behind his sister. "Remember to eat, yeah darling?" He nods meekly, wetting his lips.

Winking at the siblings, you close the window and speed off. You've got a text from Harwin saying the scumbag talked. You wonder if it was before or after breaking his kneecaps.

That night, Aegon lays on his back, staring at the ceiling while his mind is on you. There is something so... mesmerizing about you. If it is the way your hair falls, how your eyes shined when you talked to him, or how you carelessly smiled with Helaena, he doesn't know.

A smile grows on his face as he turns around, fist gripping one of the many extra pillows on his bed. Oh, how he wishes he can see you again soon.

A couple days later Aegon sees his sister standing in the doorway of her room, checking out her outfit from afar. "How do I look?", she asks as she spots Aegon through the mirror.

"Like a pigeon."

Helaena rolls her eyes. As usual, very helpful. 

"Where are you going?" Aegon follows her around the room with his eyes while she searches for a pair of high heels and a bag.

"Y/n has invited me to hang around the VIP section of The Graveyard."

A sudden flutter goes through his body and stops in Aegon's stomach, buzzing around like a kid on a sugar high. "Y/n?"

"I rather have the two of you not go out tonight", grumbles Aemond from the hallway and turns his phone around for them to read.

THE STRANGER STRIKES AGAIN. DIRTY POLITICIAN FOUND DEAD. 

Helaena dry heaves as Aegon stares in disgust at the photo the article has provided of the politician. All his fingers are cut off and stuffed in his mouth. The word RAT is carved in his forehead in big, bold letters while his mouth is sewn shut. The article states that The Stranger has published multiple documents online exposing the politician, who has stolen millions from the sick and poor. 

Many, many years ago, during medieval times The Seven were worshipped as Gods. Through the years, they turned into mob and mafia bosses but all fall under The Father. He is the most powerful, from money to influence. People have suspicions that it is a politician or judge.

The Mother has the pharmaceutical industry in her pockets, as well as almost all the hospitals and clinics in the country. The Warrior owns the totality of the armies and all the cops. 

Most, if not all, real estate is from The Smith. Most of the projects in development get money from him. The Maiden, for not that long, has ownership over the sex work. It's said since she has taken hold of the industry it has gotten a lot safer for those who work in brothels and clubs.

The Crone keeps the cultural aspect of society alive. She makes sure that libraries, concert halls, and theatres keep their doors open and that people can learn and grow.

At last, is The Stranger. They have no 'official' business, but rather they are the executioner of The Seven. They make people disappear, get information out of someone with rather... interesting methods, or silence them.

To everybody in Westeros, this is common knowledge. Everyone also knows that they shouldn't mess with The Seven. The politician is a perfect example. What isn't known, is who those people are. Speculations are that for hundreds of years, the same families carry those titles, passed from parent to child.

Helaena ignores Aemond and continues to get dressed. "Nothing's gonna happen, Aem. It's least likely that The Stranger is going to strike again. And besides, I'm with Y/n."

Aemond pinches his nose bridge, sighing extravagantly. "That is exactly what I'm worried about. I don't trust her."

Aegon turns angrily to his brother. How dare he say that? He has only met you once and he already is so sure about his opinion of you.

"I don't care", she dares him, "I'm still going. And Aegon is going with me, aren't you?" His sister turns to him and looks with big eyes, motioning him to do as she says.

Aegon, all too glad to see you again, tries to contain his excitement with a short nod. "Yeah, since I have nothing better to do, I thought I would come with."

The tallest Targaryen sibling angrily huffs and turns around, stomping off. 

"Are you ready to go? the Uber is almost here... You're not wearing that, are you?" Helaena fixes the last of her makeup in the mirror before looking at him with raised eyebrows.

Aegon looks down at his clothes ─ a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt with holes. He hurries to his room and has a small crisis about what to wear. He knows what looks good on him. He knows what will get him girls to hook up with. But with you, he's not sure. For one, he does not want to just hook up with you.

Even though you're his sister's age, you are a woman. One who has lived in the real world for a while now. You're probably not interested in boys. Because that is what Aegon is; a college-aged boy. 

He's reminded of the fact when he walks into the Graveyard and sees you perched on a barstool in a black dress with a leg slit and your red-painted lips drawn into a teasing smile. You're entertaining a man with shoulder-length hair. Aegon can't see who it is since his back is turned towards him. But the man is broad and he for sure could break bones with ease.

Helaena wildly waves with her hands above her head and it gets your attention. The smile grows to that one of glee as you hop off the stool, making your way over to them.

Hugging Helaena, you close your eyes. "It's so good to see you! You look absolutely stunning!" You make Helaena do a twirl.

"You too! I am obsessed with this dress, oh my Gods! I hope you don't mind that Aegon came with? I texted you before we left."

Pulling your phone out of your bra, you check the messages that you missed. With a nod, you put the device back. "Oh yeah, I see... I had a meeting, so I put it on silent. Do you guys want anything to drink?"

You lead them up a pair of stairs that are closed off by a velvet rope and security opens it for you and them to pass through. 

As you all settle in the booth, you turn to the sibling pair. "It's 2000's night, so expect a lot of Timberland, Sean Paul, and Christina Aguilera."

You feel a hand on your shoulder and turn your head. Harwin. He looks at you in earnest before motioning for you to follow him with a nod. 

"If you'll excuse me for a moment, I'll be right back." You meet Aegon's eyes and smile at him. You stand up and squeeze his underarm. 

Harwin leads you to your office and you close the door behind you. He stands in the middle of the room, his fists balled and his lips tight. "How do you know them?"

You raise your eyebrows. "Who? Helaena and Aegon? What is it to you?" Walking towards your desk, you lean against it.

"They... they're-" Harwin sighs, running a hand over his face. "They are no good. Helaena is the best of the lot, but Aegon and Aemond... You need to stay away from them."

Pushing off the desk, you go stand in front of him, tilting your head up so you can look him in the eyes. "How do you know that?"

Harwin hesitates for a moment, searching for the right words. "My wife's their half-sister. Her father re-married and out came them. There is also another one, but he's in Oldtown. They're all spoiled brats!"

With a deep inhale, you try to put all the information in the right order. So... Harwin's in-laws are the age of his own children? But they're all biologically connected? What in the world...

"And what is so wrong about Aegon? He seems quite lovely."

The man grabs both of your hands in a fatherly matter, a sorry look on his face. "Don't do this to yourself. I know that look, it was the same one your father had in his eyes after meeting our mother."

Before you can protest, he hushes you. "He's a boy, Y/n. He parties until he almost has alcohol poisoning, sleeps around with no regard for their feelings, and loves getting in trouble."

Pulling your hands back, your face hardens. "I get that you and your family have their judgements about them, but Helaena's been nothing but a good friend to me so I won't let you talk about her brother like that. You are not my father, Harwin. He's dead and I've been taking care of myself for all these years, so I don't need you to start doing that now."

You turn around and walk briskly out of the office, leaving your second-hand man in the middle of the room.

How dares he? You get that he wants to look out for you, but he's out of line. You can judge for your own if Aegon is truly what Harwin says he is. You don't need his prejudice to swarm your judgement.

Besides, you know that you can't take this too far. Aegon is an innocent civillian. You can't pull him into your world without being sure he's one hundred per cent okay and ready to face it. It's all innocent fun, right?

You take a deep breath before you go sit back in the booth where you left Helaena and Aegon. Only Helaena is gone and has left Aegon on his own. He looks up from his phone with big eyes, but a smile grows on his face once he sees it's you. 

"Where's Hel?", your question, looking around to maybe spot her.

Aegon puts his phone in his pocket, focusing on your face. "She went to grab something to drink but she got distracted and is dancing. Look, right there." He points towards the crowd, but when he notices you're looking to the wrong side, Aegon grabs your hand and guides your pointer finger to where his sister is twirling around.

You laugh out loud at the sight of Helaena totally minding her own business, oblivious to the many stares she's getting.

"Do you also want to dance?" You turn to face Aegon. What you didn't realise is while Aegon helped you to point to Helaena, your faces are practically next to each other. Now that you turned your head, your noses almost touched.

Aegon's cheeks turn a violent prink as he doesn't know what to do. Normally he would have taken the chance to kiss the girl, but he doesn't dare to do that to you. You're far too beautiful to just kiss so carelessly.

You don't wait for his reply and just pull Aegon to the dance floor. At first, he's awkward and doesn't know what to do. You grab his hands and place them on your middle.

"I love this part", you say as the music slows down. Your lips are touching his ear shell. Was it a seducing technique? Who knows.

Aegon feels that the time, like the song, slows down as he watches you dance with your eyes closed and smile. The multiple coloured lights dance over your face and give you an ethereal glow. 

His hands on your waist tighten their grip and pull you flush against his body. Your eyes open and watch how he smiles much more confidently than all the times before. It widens your own and you two sway from side to side together, feeling the music. 

Aegon twirls you around, and it earns a giggle from you. "Where is this sudden confidence comming from?", you ask as you lay both of your hands on his chest. You feel his heart beat rapidly under your right hand and it tells you that he's maybe not as confident as he looks. "It's cute."

"Is it good cute or bad cute?" He cocks his head to the side, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip.

You pretend to think for a moment. "It's cute."

Aegon smiles amused, you're flirting with him. He's at a loss for words, so he's saying the first thing that comes across his brain. "Ha- have I already told you how beautiful you look?" 

There is something so endearing about Aegon, you decide then and there.  He gets a spurt of confidence but then he just forgets it. So suddenly. He eyes you shyly through his lashes all while putting on the most blinding and radiating smile you've ever seen.

You spend hours dancing together, him twirling you around and jumping up and down. You don't even notice your heels are killing you until you take a moment to sit back down and drink something.

Groaning, you slip out of your shoes and pull your feet up on the seat, so they're not touching the nasty ground. Aegon comes back with two glasses of something and slides next to you. He grabs your feet and pulls you close to him.

And you two just talk. About everything and nothing. Especially life.

"Excuse me, how many times did you say?", you ask baffled.

Aegon grins sheepishly. "Yeah... I'm on my tenth major right now. The uni allows it because dad's a huge benefactor of the school."

You lean back. "So... y'all rich?"

"I-I wouldn't call us ri-rich. We're comfortable..." His cheeks colour a bright red as he stammers out.

A soft smile grows on his face. "It's okay, Aegon. There is nothing wrong with having more money than the average citizen. And also not with not knowing what to do once you hit uni age. Way too early we have to choose what we will do for the rest of our lives, in my opinion at least."

Aegon looks in wonder at the woman who sits next to him. They are almost the same age but she's so much wiser beyond her age. 

"Why did you drop out?" 

The sudden question surprises you. It also seems to surprise and embarrass Aegon as he shrinks in himself.

"I... dropped out because my father died", you begin, looking at the half-empty glass on the table and how the condensation slowly drips down, "I am- was his only child, so everything came down on me. I knew that I couldn't keep my father's legacy afloat while attending university, so I choose what was the best."

"Was it the best for you?", asks Aegon quietly, reaching for your hand.

You swallow the lump in your throat. "I don't know." It comes out in nearly a whisper, but he has heard it.

Aegon doesn't hesitate for a moment and pulls you in a hug, laying his head on your shoulder.

The hug goes as quickly as it comes, and you push him away. You don't know what to do, so you fake a jawn. "Oh gosh, I'm actually really tired. Do you want me to drop you off at your place?"

Aegon nods, defeated. He knows he has taken it a step too far. What was he thinking?!

You tell him to wait outside as you go seek Helaena. You return alone, telling him that Helaena said she would get back home on her own because she found a couple friends from uni.

The ride back to the Targaryen sibling's apartment is very quiet, apart from the radio playing some pop songs.

"Can I tell you a secret?", you say after a while. "I'm actually quite scared of driving in the dark."

Aegon turns to you with raised eyes. "If you want, I could take over?"

You shake your head. "Thank you, but it's okay. It has quite the irony, believe me. Most of my business is conducted in the dark, with all the clubs and bars and such. I have really bad astigmatism, but wearing glasses in this profession is pretty impractical."

The eldest Targaryen sibling nods, drumming along with the music. He watches the cars pass by, before turning his gaze towards you. He studies your face again, finding new exciting details. And they are the most mundane things. Like how you scan the road, looking ever so often in the rearview mirror.

It's every freckle and mole that adorns your face. Every dimple and scar. The way your nose is shaped. The little peach fuzz that he spots when your profile is lighted from behind.

"I sing."

"Excuse me?"

"I sing and hum when I am scared. When I drive alone, I put on Disney songs to keep my mind at ease." You admit, glancing at Aegon to gauge his reaction.

If there is one flaw you had to name about yourself, it would be your fear to drive in the dark. It's stupid, for a member of The Seven to be scared of driving when the sun is down, but too much bad shit happens at night.

A smile grows on his face. Aegon feels really special that you tell him this. Nobody ever tells him something personal. And he doesn't blame them. Normally he doesn't give a shit about other people.

But you aren't other people. At least not to him.

Nothing else is said for the remainder of the car ride to the Targaryen siblings' residential. And neither Aegon nor you feel the need to say something. A comfortable silence hangs between you two.

You pull up to the building, and Aegon undoes his seatbelt. "Thank you", he says, smiling shyly.

You reach over and kiss him on his cheek. "Have a good night, Darling."

His cheeks grow hot and he stumbles out of the car, waving at you as he fumbles his way inside the building. Once he is in the elevator, he leans against the wall and exhales loudly. He is so fucking in love with you.

Later that night, when Aegon lays in his bed, he stares up at his phone. He feels really bad that he's doing this. But after tonight, he can't stay away from you. So, he decides, he's going to find your Instagram account. He wants to start with searching your name, but there are way too many Y/n's to just do that. Plus, he doesn't know your last name.

Having a eureka moment, Aegon goes to his sister's account. You're sure to come by at some point.

Helaena follows over a million people, so there's no way he could find you in the pile. He does search your name but to no avail. He next tackles his sister's story highlights with her friends. You are sure to come by at one point.

He taps at rapid speed through the photos of his sister with her friends, their cousins and nephews. 

He once taps wrong and ends up on Aemond's Insta. Pretentious fucker, only posting 'aesthetic' pictures of himself, himself shirtless, or his stupid piano. Ugh.

Just as he wants to give up, there are you. You and Helaena hang off of each other, big smiles on your faces and a cig in between Hel's fingers. Your account is tagged as stragner. He never could have guessed that. 

The content also does not say a lot. Only 9 posts. Travelling photos, dropped coffee, a cute snowman, and embroidery. Huh, thinks Aegon, he would never have considered it. But at the same time isn't so strange to imagine you with an embroidery hoop.

His thumb hovers over the follow button. At the last second, he decides not to. Except he has a big ass thumb and accidentally taps on the button. 

Aegon jumps a metre in the air, throwing his phone across his room and hiding under his covers. Stupid stupid STUPID. He and his stupid fat fingers.

From across town, you lay curled up on the couch watching a series you meant to catch up on a while ago when your phone dings next to you.

You pick up your phone and when you see the notification, you're giggling like a little schoolgirl.

[INSTAGRAM] aegs started to follow you

How in the seven hells did he find you? You scroll through his account. The previous smile you had now grows even wider. He posts a lot of pictures of himself ─ not all even pretty but still endearing. A couple of memes pass by and also funny pictures of animals. It's charming.

Without hesitation, you press the Follow back button and throw your phone on the couch next to you, not daring to look if he sends you a dm or something.

Oh, how grateful you are Helaena convinced you to make an Insta account.

That night the both of you go sleeping with big ass smiles on your faces. Your cheeks still hurt the morning you wake up.

[aegs] Hey, idk if this is too forwards, but do you want to hang out some time? [aegs] Totally no pressure if you're too busy or anything

Aegon feels like an idiot. More than he normally is. He has debated the whole night about sending you a dm. You're a busy person who has probably better things to do than text with some guy.

He nearly chokes in his serial when he sees the notification flash by. You replied. You even liked his first message.

[stragner] Of course! Sounds fun [stragner] I am really busy tomorrow and the day after that, tho... But Thursday I'm free!

Thursday... Thursday... Is he free? Aegon checks his calendar to make sure he's one hundred per cent sure he has nothing else. He has classes, but he could ditch that. Wait... you wouldn't like him to do that. So he can't do that. 

[aegs] I do have classes, but after I'm fully yours!

Aegon cringes at his own desperation. Even though he feels anxious about your reply. 

Meanwhile, you type away, deleting some before deciding to not change anything and just send it.

[stragner] That sounds like a plan. Should I pick you up? I know this very pretty coffee place we could grab a cuppa

Putting your phone in your back pocket, you turn around and put on your game face. Harwin is holding a man up by his hair, his face swollen with bruises and a mix of blood, snot, and tears running down his face.

It was easy to lure the man. Putting your tits in his face while grinning down at him and he didn't see you putting drugs in his morning coffee.

Grabbing a pair of pliers, you approach the man. "I'll ask you one last time, nicely. Where did the shipment go?"

Snorting snot back, the man's bottom lip quivers. "I-I don't know! I did-didn't work that ni-night!"

"WRONG!" You motion for Harwin to hold down his hand and you yank out a nail. The man wails in pain while you study the nail. "You have nine more nails and I have all the time in the world. I will get the truth, even if it means I have to pull out all your toenails."

After the third nail, the man repents. "It was R'hllor! R'hllor stole the shipment!"

Pulling back, you look at the man. "R'hllor?"

He nods desperately. "Y-yes! R'hllor wants to make his way to Westeros! He has multiple politicians and police officers in his pocket!"

"It's such a shame...", you tut, grabbing his chin to lift his gaze to meet your eyes. "Such a shame that the only thing you can spew is old news, honey."

The man thrashes wildly against Harwin's iron grip as you move back to the station with all your tools, only to grab the jerrycan with gasoline. 

"Did you know", you begin as you pour the liquid onto the man, "in the olden days, ceremonies held for R'hllor involved fire. It was believed that, when staring into a flame, his followers would receive prophecies. Shall we check if it's true?"

Striking a match, you let it dance in front of your face before you flick it towards the man, the gasoline catching on fire and burning the man in mere seconds. 

Harwin hands you a rag so that you can clean your hands, "so R'hllor's trying to expand out of Essos? Bossman won't be happy with this news."

You shrug. "When is he ever happy? Should we tell him before or after he had his breakfast coffee?" 

Both of you check your watches. 9:36 AM. "After", you both agree, making your way up the stairs of the basement, letting the man behind ─ still screaming and thrashing as the flames burn away at his skin.

Thursday morning stands Aegon in front of his closet in his underpants, hands on his hips while staring at his clothes. What is date appropriate but doesn't scream desperate? That doesn't scream 'please fuck me'. He's not that desperate... he thinks...

Aemond's head peeks through the crack of Aegon's door, his nose upturned. "Don't forget that Cole is picking us up after school to bring us to mum."

The eldest brother turns his eyes towards his brother. "What? Why?" 

"Dinner before the gala, remember dinkwad?" Aemond rolls his singular eye annoyed and slams the door after him.

Fuck... there goes Aegon's plans to woo you. He grabs his phone and quickly sends you a text.

[aegs] I am so sorry but I have to take a rain check on our date. Mum's suddenly expecting us this afternoon🙄

[stragner] Oh... [stragner] No worries tho. Another time?

[aegs] Yes! [aegs] Definitely! [aegs] I promise, scout's honour🤞

Aegon is annoyed. He could have spent his afternoon with you, enjoying time together. But instead, he's at home picking at his food while his mother gushes about Aemond and how great he is doing at school. Barf.

Picking at his food, his attention is pulled towards his mother. "I've had your suit sent to the dry cleaners. I expect you to be on your best behaviour tonight. So no flirting with guests, or eyeing the waiters."

Aegon lifts up one eyebrow annoyed while nodding, his eyes still focussed on his asperges. "I'll be on my best behaviour, mother."

The night has not yet begun and he's already annoyed. And it doesn't help that once he tries on his suit, it barely fits him.

Yes, Aegon knows that he let himself go the past years, but he always used to bounce back. But now, his stomach isn't as flat as it used to be and his sides are softer, rounder.

Helaena passes by his room and hears him huff. She peeks her head inside and sees him mentally struggling with his suit. She quickly goes to her own room and returns with a plastic bag. 

Aegon hears a knock and is surprised to see Helaena with a soft smile on her face. "I wanted to give you this on your birthday, but it seems like you need this now."

He hesitantly grabs the bag and pulls out a three-piece suit. It's a nice dark green colour. It looks and feels really expensive. "Thanks, Hel", he says, giving her a genuine smile.

A while later, all dressed and ready, Aegon follows after his family as they walk in fashionably late into the gala event. His father walks next to his mother, heavily relying on his cane. Aemond guides Helaena into the venue and that leaves Aegon to fend for himself.

He miserably stares into his wine glass, looking around the room with a curled-up lip. All these rich people pretend to care about whatever charity is hosting this gala while they just want to flaunt their wealth. It makes him sick. It makes him long for a simpler life, one without 

Aegon's eyes scan the room but halt on a figure standing with their back towards him talking with his half-sister and her husband. They are dressed in a simple, floor-length black dress with a slit and sheer red gloves that end just above their elbows. 

They throw their hair over their shoulder and Aegon swears his heart stops. It's you. And you have never been more beautiful. 

You throw your head back in a laugh and hit Rhaenyra's husband on his shoulder. No... it can't be... Aegon swore he vaguely recognised that man from the club. Since when does Rhaenyra's husband work for you?

Rhaenyra says something and he sees you turn around. As you spot him, a large and genuine smile grows on your face and you excuse yourself.

Aegon nervously straightens out his three-piece suit and does a quick breath check. 

"Don't you look like a handsome young man", you muse, reaching out and brush a stray hair out of his face. "The colour suits you well. Why don't you do a spin?"

He awkwardly turns on his heels, and you clasp your hands together. Aegon feels his cheeks heat up. "You look very pretty, Darling. Have they left you behind?

You motion with your head to his sister ─ who sits with their father, happily munching on a piece of cake ─ and his brother and mother ─ who look at you with their lips curled up.

Aegon groans softly, knowing what that means. And yup, as he suspected, his mother hightails over to him and you. Aemond's gaze trained on them like a hawk, a scowl on his face.

"Aegon who... is this?" Allicent does a once over, her eyes travelling up your figure, obviously judging. "Wait... I know you. Don't you work for Harwin Strong? 

You hold out your hand for her to shake with a confident smile and introduce yourself. "Actually, Harwin works for me, Mrs Targaryen."

This makes the woman's eyebrows raise in surprise, an unreadable look on her face. "My. Aren't you a bit young to be- what exactly are you?" 

A soft 'mom!' comes from Aegon, embarrassed. You grab his hand to let him know it's alright. "I own a security company, ma'am. I had to, unfortunately, take over the family business after my father's untimely passing. But I'm sure you must've already known this, being in-laws and everything." The smile you give Alicent is big and tooth-rottenly kind, in a fake way. 

"Well, it was nice talking to you." And with that, his mother turns away to go back to the table to sit next to her son. They angrily whisper to each other. Their glances and glares are quite obvious.

"I'm sorry-", begins Aegon, but you take his face in both of your hands, a worried look in your eyes.

"Are you okay, Honey?"

He nods sheepishly. You haven't called him Honey before, and it sends the butterflies in his stomach bustling. 

You sigh, fixing your gloves, and cock your head to the side. "To be honest, I'm pretty much done with all this peacocking. I do have to speak to a handful of people. What do you say? Want to join me before ditching this whole affair?"

You hold out your hand and Aegon takes it excitedly with a nod. You pull him around the room. And while you talk with people — which Aegon does not even have the care for to listen to the topics — you don't let go of him. Every time you have to shake someone's hand, you are sure to grab his arm with your other. Never losing contact.

And as you promised, in no time the two of you are in your car and speeding away from the event.

The way to your house is closer to his own apartment than Aegon thought. You drive the car into the underground parking and park the car in a marked spot with your apartment number.

You lead him to the elevator and scan a card before pressing a button. The doors close and Aegon feels the elevator move up.

The two of you stand next to each other, shoulders touching. Suddenly, you sign frustrated and whisper a ‘fuck it’.

As Aegon wants to turn to you and ask what is wrong, you grab him by his tie and smash your lips against his. The kiss is hungry, full of desperation and want. 

Aegon does not know what to do with his hands, holding them up in the air surprised.

You pull away from him, lipstick smutched. Your eyes flicker from his eyes to his lips. With a sigh, you release the tie and take a step back. "I'm sorry. I should have asked." You hang your head down in shame. Damn you for assuming.

Aegon reaches out and pushes your chin up before connecting your lips again. This time in a softer manner. His hand goes from your chin to your cheek, before it ends up on your neck and pulls you flushed against him.

You hum satisfied, gripping his shoulders and lean in even more than you would have thought possible. You bite his bottom lip softly, releasing it with a pop.

A soft whimper leaves Aegon's lips as your own trail down the corner of his lips, to his yaw and sucking on his neck. He rolls his head to the side, giving you more access while his hand laces into your hair.

The elevator doors roll open and you pull away. Your lips are puffy and red, your chest rising rapidly as you watch Aegon come back from cloud seven. 

"Come on", you say and take his hand, leading him into your penthouse.

On the way to your bedroom, you've lost both your gloves and your high heels, while Aegon is on his bare feet and his tie hangs loosely around his neck. The jacket he wore is thrown somewhere your gloves also have ended up.

Reaching your bedroom, you push him down to your bed. Aegon leans back on his elbows. You push the straps of your dress down, and it lands on the ground. Aegon's eyes are transfixed on your boobs. They have to be the most perfect pair he has ever seen. And he has seen a lot.

"What is that?", he whispers with a smile, eyes fixated on the black strips holding up your boobs.

You roll your eyes, pulling the tape off your body. "You don't think my tits stay up by themselves, do you? Darling, gravity isn't the biggest fan of breasts."

Aegon sits up, pulling you closer to him by your hips. "I don't care, I like 'em." He presses a kiss above your belly button and smiles up at you.

You feel the heat creep up onto your face, and you look away smiling. "Shut up and get undressed."

"Yes ma'am", he smiles, and reaches for his blouse, but he hesitates.

You notice the quiver in his hands, and you reach out. "We don't have to be doing anything you don't like, Aegon. Just say the word and we can just chill on the couch."

But Aegon shakes his head, "no, I want this. I want you. But I'm... I'm scared you aren't going to like what you see."

Aegon knows his confidence is mostly an act to hide the fact that most days, he feels too fat and too lumpy.

With a shake of your head, you take his hands. "You could never disappoint me, Darling. May I..?" You refer to his shirt and Aegon nods.

Unbuttoning his blouse, you push the fabric off his shoulders. You take him in. Yes, his curves are round and his belly has faint stretch marks. But that makes him all more desirable to you. 

In a world that is harsh and rough, you need something soft.

"You're perfect", you whisper before kissing him again with much vigour. And this time, Aegon knows what to do. He wraps his hands around your sides and pulls you on top of him, a thick thigh between your legs. 

You hold his face as you grind against his thigh, creating friction on your core. Breaking the kiss, you moan out. Aegon lifts you off so he can shimmy out of his pants and underwear. You pull down your panties and fling them across the room.

Now that the two of you are finally naked — in Aegon's opinion — you crawl on his lap and reach for his penis. You squeeze him, swiping your thumb over his tip. Aegon moans loudly.

"Please", he whimpers.

"Please what?" You raise an eyebrow and pump him slowly

Aegon lifts his hips into your hand, "please- I- I- I can't! I have to feel you."

Taking pity, you let go of his cock and throw one leg over him, straddling him. You line up his dick and slowly lower yourself.

As you sink down on Aegon's cock, one hand gripping your hip and his other on a tit, with his head thrown back into the pillow in ecstasy, you don't notice a text flashing by on your phone screen.

[BOSSMAN] Enjoy your toy while it lasts

Taglist: @howyouloveyourdragon​ @linn-a-a @cogumoss @babyvulcan @ilovedesert-20089​ @prettyblondguys​ @asiandongbongsoo​

[kaija-rayne-author]

Dragon Age Veilguard 7th review in series

Obligatory I'm not an asshole disclaimer. You can skip to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

52 hours in, 50 hours playtime

Part 6.1 is here.

Massive spoilers for Veilguard

Another long one. And it's largely negative.

So. What to say. Well, the first should be I called it on Illario being the crow traitor. At least, at this point in the game. (He just broke Zara's neck to keep her from telling Lucanis his name. Presumably.) They could throw a plot twist in there and have Illario be innocent but acting squirrely to bring out the actual traitor. That would be interesting. But to be completely honest, I don't think the writers are that skilled. The plot of 'jealous younger cousin/family member seizing power and betraying everything to do it' is a classic trope.

It's also as stale as the package of crackers I keep meaning to throw away. They really went with that? I think my eyes are in danger of rolling out of my head. And digging them out from under the dresser is just so awkward and uncomfortable. Have you ever washed eyeballs? They’re squishy.

Can we mention plot holes? I took Emmerich with me for the crow mission. Why exactly didn't he do his 'corpse whispering' to get confirmation that Illario was/was not the traitor? Even if you didn't take Emmerich, they could've easily taken the corpse to him, but nooooo. That would've made sense! Especially because there's then a scene of Emmerich whispering a corpse about the hand of glory. They sooooo needed to take all that back to the drawing board and tighten it up a lot.

But I've said before that they need better editors. Honestly, even though I don't particularly want to work for Bioware given their history of firing useful, skilled people... maybe they do need me. Or someone else as exacting as me and good at editing. Cause much as I hate to critique another editor? Whoever edited this isn't very good. Whoever edited DAI wasn’t very good either. I'm a far better editor. It's a niche, nit picky sort of field. You have to care about the details and you have to dedicate yourself to it. It's a field where you need to constantly be learning. Things like, say, how locks work. You can have advanced English degrees, you can be a phenomenal writer, and still suck at editing. Because it's so very specialized if you want it done right. Whoever their editor is shouldn't be editing games professionally. There's obviously too much to keep in mind to tie everything together. (Honestly, autistic and auDHD people like me make phenomenal editors if we enjoy words/stories and get into it.)

I have no personal grudge against their editor/s. It's just my professional opinion that they need an editor with more skill.

Also, whoever drew that hand of glory probably should've looked up what one looks like. They went for an Addam's family vibe and that's just... not a hand of glory. I'm a witch and a student of witchcraft history. I should know.

So, a hand of glory is an actual thing.

This is how one was made.

"It must be cut from the hanged body of a criminal (usually a murderer) on the gibbet (usually a roadside gibbet); dried in nitre, pickled in the urine of man, woman, dog, horse and mare; smoked with herbs and hay for a month or dried under the sun during the dog-days; hung on an oak tree for three nights running, then laid at a crossroads, then hung on a church door for one night while the maker keeps watch in the porch.

The candle part had to be rendered from the fat of the same criminal you got the hand from. It’s usually the left hand, but could also be the hand that murdered. Images from the period when people believed in them vary on how the candle part worked but one of the more common is the whole hand dipped in the tallow rendered from the criminal until it was stiff like a candle. Then the tips of the fingers would be lit."

They did get what they were supposed to do correct, though.

Good idea? Yes. Bad follow through.

The name is bastardized from the French word for mandrake.

As usual, better editors needed.

Did the Weisshaupt quest. I'm not sure if that's the end of act 1 or half way. I'm leaning on end of act 1 given the way the plot is shaping up. It was a fun enough sequence. If a bit loud. I also like it when the heroes fail in stories. Because that's realistic. We fail. We pick ourselves up, and we keep trying.

I've said it before, and I can't claim authorship, I'm not even sure who used it first, but 'hope gets kicked to the floor, beaten the shit out of and still spits out blood, maybe a tooth, picks themselves up and says, 'bring it, bitch".' Hope isn't gentle. Hope is ready to throw down.

Can I just say that Zimmer was a fucking mistake on the music front? He's been phoning it in for ten years and he absolutely did for DAV. It's a shame when the soundtrack for DAI was so stirring and just... fucking epic. DAO's too, for that matter. (The OST for DAI also helped tie the world together.)

It's like someone decided to toss the collections aspect (which was a large part of the fun for me and many others, including collecting enough stuff to make fun armour) without even remotely understanding what those collections did for the story. Big mistake in my professional opinion. In any story, you need little things that tie all the big things together. DAV doesn't have the small threads tying the big bundles of yarn together. It's just... not good.

There are parts of the game I do legitimately like, but they're far outweighed by the sheer dumbassery.

I am still so utterly flabbergasted that they nerfed rogues so much. Why in the world would you take a good half of what makes playing a rogue fun and just toss it? Why even bother to have a rogue class at all? They’re just a light skirmisher in DAV.

They Legolased my elven rogue and I'm not happy about it.

Don't get me wrong, I love Legolas, and he's an elven warrior, good with his bow and dual weild, and that's basically it? (He’s a lot more in the books, but I'm thinking movie Legolas. He’s not even a rogue in the books.)

As a rogue in DAV, there's no traps to set/disarm, you can't pick locks, you can't sneak or hide in shadows, it's just ridiculous to even call them rogues. Oh, but you can hit the locks! Someone has been watching too much hollyweird. Hitting it hard works, right? Of Course the lock just breaks.

Y'Know? I'm not a locksmith, but I know a decent amount about picking locks and how they work because I'm an author and like to know how stuff works. Hitting a lock? Makes it less likely to actually open. I really really wish whoever made that decision many hours of disappointing game play in a class they love. Because that's what they gave me and other rogue lovers in DAV. It just fucking sucks. Are the rest of the classes this bad? I don't think I have the stomach to play this again as my second favourite class to find out (mage).

I think I figured out what DAV is missing/what's bothering me the most.

A lot of things are more streamlined, better designed, I do have to give them that. But they took it waaaay too far. They've streamlined it to the point of boring mediocrity.

There's very little to collect other than codex entries. Which are fine, barring the massive number of editorial issues in them. Even if they really aren't answering any of the burning Lore questions I've wanted answered since I started playing these games.

But there's nothing else to subtly tie the world and story together. I've mentioned it before, but the mounts you could collect in DAI were gifts from different peoples and cultures. That tied the world together and to Skyhold.

Same goes for the Warden memories, and all the other little collection bits. It made an intricate, beautiful tapestry of DAI. DAV is a poorly woven bedsheet. With plot holes you can stick an arm through.

DAI had issues, every game does. Some of those issues I'm glad to see fixed in DAV. And overall, they took a lot of the fun out of a Dragon Age video game with the over zealous streamlining of DAV.

And I'm not sure if I'll ever get over the 'rogue who isn't a rogue at all' issue.

I played around with the decor part, and honestly, why did they even bother? You could completely customize Skyhold to how you wanted it. That was great fun for me. In DAV? You can put mementos on shelves and change the central statue, that I've found so far.

The Lighthouse is pretty cool, but it floats unconnected from the world, and it really shows. There's just... nothing tying everything together. Not to mention the complete retcon of, 'oh, living beings can't go into the fade unless they're mages, and even then it's dangerous to the point of suicide.'

Yes, the Inquisitor went into the fade in DAI. It was either that or splatter on the ground, and they barely survived it. And you had to leave a companion behind as the price of getting out. In DAV they live in the fade (without consequences that are clearly spelled out in the Lore). People are strolling into and out of the fade like it's a shopping mall. Y'know, the fade that's supposedly chock full of blight? According to the actual game I'm playing?

It's like the different departments and different writers never once talked to each other. And man, does it show.

I think the only section where they must've communicated well is, again, backgrounds, scenery, and environments. That is literally the only thing holding this game together and making it feel even remotely like Dragon Age.

And that's just sad. They had so much material to work with from the Lore and the previous games... so much, and as far as I can see? They've ignored most of it.

And I know a video game can't do everything, but my elf has Dirthaman's vallaslin. Dirthamen is the twin soul of Falon'Din. There's a puzzle in Arlathan that is a bunch of owls, and my Rook dopily says, 'guess someone liked owls'. Oh, you mean the brother Evanuris whose mark you wear on your damned face? Really? Really really? JFC. So, yeah, they're probably not going to do shit about figuring out anything to do with the Vallaslin. Which in both my personal and professional opinion would've been a very interesting thing to write about. What happens in a culture when they find out they've been wearing slave markings. Do they all get rid of them? Do they have interesting discussions and quests about figuring out the meaning of old and new? Of old things that might’ve been bad at one time, but have a completely different meaning now?

I dunno. This game just isn't great so far.

Goddess. I hate writing negative reviews of Dragon Age stuff. I utterly love the previous games, the world, the Lore.

Y'know, the Lore they've decided isn't important and brushed under the rug? Talk about disappointing. I was so hoping for some answers to all the burning questions I've had for years about the Lore.

And I'm dreading the end of Solas and Inky. I don't think it's going to be remotely what my Romance loving heart will think is even close to a happy ending.

Weekes tweeted at me that 'there's a suggestion of a happy ending' for Solas and Inky. And that gave me some hope, because Tresspasser left a few things dangling in good star-crossed lovers fashion. But unless Inky and Solas end up, 1. Alive. 2. Together. 3. At peace or close enough to it... it's not a happy ending. I'm afraid Weekes, who isn't a Romance writer (I am) has a very different definition for 'happy ending' than me, most Sollavellans, and Romance readers in general.

A HEA (Happy Ever After) or a HEfN (Happy Enough for Now) is a staple of Romance.

Something can't be considered Romance as a genre unless it has two things. 1. Focus on the romance/relationship of the characters. 2. An HEA/HEfN. In each book/story/piece of media, not even the end of the series, in every installment, Otherwise, you can't even market it as Romance without violating stores terms of service and risking having your account taken down for misrepresentation of what you're selling.

I swear to Gods if we get some Romeo and Juliet sort of ending for Solas and Inky, I'm boycotting Bioware for life.

Romeo and Juliet is not a fucking Romance. It's a fucking tragedy. If we get a tragic ending in any fashion, for Solas and Inky? I'm just absolutely done with Dragon Age. Them being together with a chance at happiness is all I want. (Honestly, I desperately want the intimate scene we were denied in DAI too, and I don't think that's too much to ask for either.) One intimate scene and a HEA. Let them retire someplace out of the way so Solas can grow flowers and play music and paint. Inky can do stuff she loves, and they love each other. The parameters of how exactly they do that don’t matter. They could do literally anything as long as they're alive, together, and with the same chance of happiness any Romantic couple/group has.

That is the only type of ending that won't have me boycotting Bioware for life. Especially after the lackluster showing of DAV.

I saw the title of one news article (on steam, I'm trying to stay as blind to this game as possible to provide a fair review that are just my thoughts). And it said something along the lines of 'The best fantasy game released this year.'

My immediate thoughts were, 1. Had whoever written that actually played this travesty? 2. How much was the writer paid to say that, and 3... what? Is DAV the ONLY fantasy game release this year? Cause that's the only way it's the best.

8th in series here.

[mutipede]

Imagine for a second that you're in a friend group. Another person - who you don't know as well as others, they're sorta younger and have sort of a dynamic of "they were recently in a different shitty friend group where people kept being an asshole both to their face and behind their back, and triggering them by joking about underage sex shit, so another friend transplanted them out of that group and into ours" - so you don't know them that well personally, but you're sympathetic to the shitty situation they were in and they're cool and everything's cool.

They fairly regularly vent about their partner at the time, who is still friends with their old shitty friend group, and treats them badly - not standing up for them, basically ignoring them most of the time even though they were in a relationship - and most notably and severely, going along with the pedo jokes and shit, while using autism as an excuse for being insensitive even after the person they're dating has made it clear multiple times that they are bothered by this (for obvious reasons, you would think, goddamn).

Everyone, of course, unanimously agrees that this is fucked up, they don't deserve to be treated like this, and you do your best to be supportive. Eventually they break up and this person starts making more new friends outside of the group that you are in as well, and you think COOL they seem to be doing well and much happier and that's awesome.

Fast forward some random amount of time. You are messaged on steam by a friend you'd lost contact with for a very long time. Not for any particular reason specific to that person or anything -

(actually pretty sure it was just because I lost almost all the friends I'd had back then because of an abusive girlfriend doing the whole 'if she doesn't like someone or gets into an argument with someone then I can't talk to them anymore either' and 'telling me people said or did fucked up things about me so I don't trust them' and 'telling other people I said or did fucked up things that I didn't so they don't want to talk to me' isolation shit, but anyways)

- They message you, you catch up a little, they also knew and were sorta-friends with another person in your current friend group, and you'd played some TTRPGs back in the day, so you go "hey maybe they'd be interested in hanging out and possibly joining up the RPG we currently have going (which is my absolute fucking favorite thing to do fuckin seriously all of the 'obsessed with friends OCs' and 'RPG with friends IS 100% my hyperfixation' and 'fandom consisting of like three people' and we had that shit going for like 3 years and FUCK.) because the GM has been talking recently about wanting to get more people into it."

So you invite them to the discord server and everyone gets along pretty well right away and you're remembering inside jokes from like a decade ago and everything seems

GOOD

Until they start acting like an idiot. Shit like. Shooting at a friendly NPC outta nowhere (and the GM going "yes okay you do this thing despite the effects that it will most likely have on the people who have been playing this game for years and are actually taking it seriously" for... some reason) - y'know, the kind of thing that I believe would be termed "THAT GUY" shit. Straight up gets his character killed in like the 2nd session he plays, is completely unbothered "oh well I don't care I'll just make a new character"

But like the IDIOT that I (oh wait, you're being me in this retelling) - that you are, you go "Aww shit but that character could've been interesting and had cool potential and you barely even had a chance to get started, that sucks, that seems like a waste, and you're coming into an established game and just don't know the atmosphere we've had going so that explains the dumbass behavior and you can quit fucking doing that now right?" - AND the GM has so far been playing with the rest of us who have been taking shit seriously, give a shit about our characters and the story and everything, therefore doesn't seem to really want to kill off a PC either - so his character gets resurrected and... goes on to continue to do stupid shit.

Which wouldn't even necessarily be that big a deal. He wasn't around for a lot of the scheduled day and time the whole group had been playing (every saturday. for years. Fuck.) so he mostly did random stuff semi-related to the main party and storyline shit on random days he was around. Except the stupid shit he ended up deciding to do included...

Alright, so. From the beginning, there had been established in the game universe, an ultimate Big Fuckin' Bad that was designed to be unbeatable. Like "it has more defense than anything else, literally like you have to get a crit success to do 1 damage, and all of its skills are "murder" so it rolls 8 dice every turn and it will murder you and even if you get unfathomably lucky and kill one it is a time traveling killbot hivemind there are an unlimited number of them it will murder you". It was not designed to be a thing that we could defeat. Hell, it wasn't even designed as a thing we were originally really supposed to even actually fight. It was like one of those "punish players for doing one specific thing that the GM doesn't want us to do" things, and so far up to that point no one had.

Until this guy did exactly that. Yeah, that was what killed his character.

And then he decided to side with it.

And the GM let him.

And the fucked up things he started doing got more fucked up. Like, actually making me severely uncomfortable fucked up. Like "trying to mind control a friendly NPC and force him to commit suicide", to give an example.

I tried talking to him about it. Oh wait I forgot again, you're being me. YOU try to talk to him about it. You are aware that he is also autistic so you say, verbatim, "I know it's tough for you to tell when I'm playing my character in-game as upset vs. when I myself am actually IRL ACTUALLY upset so would it help if I specified" and he goes YEAH so then you make sure to go "Yeah this is actually making me actually uncomfortable that is actually fucked up" and...

nothing changes.

You try talking to the GM about it, not only from a "this is starting to fuck with me" perspective, but on a gameplay level - this guy got his character killed. Immediately. He didn't give a shit when that happened. Now he's used this whole "getting killed and coming back" thing to side with an unstoppable murder machine. He can do literally whatever he wants and no one can do anything about it. He's essentially been rewarded for not giving a fuck about his character, or the game as a whole, or anyone else's enjoyment. He has been doing shitty roleplaying and is being rewarded for it.

And the GM goes "Oh, shit! You're right!"

...And nothing changes.

(On another occasion, when you try to talk to the GM about it again, he actually says "The guy's autistic, give him a break" - if I can redirect attention to the beginning of this post and the established "someone using autism as an excuse to trigger someone else is unanimously understood to be unacceptable" thing..)

You try talking to the other most active player. Who, by the way, already had his character established as intended to be a twist villain the whole time. Like it's an open secret and the GM knew from the beginning and he's a good roleplayer and it's got some cool thematic parallels and fun story stuff with YOUR character so you're cool with it and looking forward to the challenge of either having a final epic battle against your friend OR seeing if you can find a nonviolent solution in the end, and because he's also been playing seriously for years and has gradually and organically becoming more powerful over time along with your character, you know he'll play fairly and it'll be fun and good story shit, and here's this jackass who has barged in and completely stolen the twist villain thunder and become stupid-unstoppable-OP in the equivalent of two days - so yeah that's shitty for him, too.

You, also verbatim, say how you've been getting actually triggered by some of the shit this guy has been doing, and don't know if you're overreacting or being unreasonable or selfish (which is, in itself, something that you have historically spiraled about) - since "it's just a game maybe I'm wrong for taking it too seriously or personally" and "his character is a villain he's doing villainous things and what if me getting upset is interfering with HIS fun"

I mean, ignoring that everything he's doing is interfering with everyone else's fun, but you have started to get into "I am wrong and selfish and everything I do and feel and think is unreasonable" trauma brain territory.

But, you (also verbatim) make the comparison that - making you deal with a villain character who's doing the kind of shit he's doing seems similar to making [person I mentioned at the beginning of this post] deal with a pedo villain character. Especially since that person's ex was continually triggering them and using autism as an excuse, and this guy has been continually triggering you and using autism as an excuse. And because yes, sure, villains do fucked up things, but this is a game and everyone is supposed to be having a good time and he is taking shit way too far. And he, at the time, emphatically agrees with you.

But doesn't say anything about anything to the GM.

And nothing changes.

You start to pick up on other shit the guy says and does outside of the game. He was (I think?) studying to be a psychiatric nurse, and worked in some sort of psychiatric facility. He says... man I don't even know how to explain it, but like... weirdly dismissive things about patients, getting into physical altercations with patients, and talks about how much he doesn't care when people in general complain to him about their life situations and similar shit. You start to wonder how much of his holy shit extreme asshole behavior in the game is reflective of his actual self in actual reality. You feel like an asshole for thinking this. You look around like "is anyone else noticing this shit? Is anyone else bothered by this?" No one seems to be noticing this shit. No one seems to be bothered by it. Or at least, if they are, no one is bothered enough to do anything.

Because nothing

fucking

changes.

Finally. Fucking finally. The GM decides to have a big dumb battle where the guy's character gets killed again (or fuckin you know "stuck in a dimension with his murder bot" so he is STILL essentially being rewarded because his character got what he wanted anyways) but fuck it who cares you don't have to deal with him anymore and he's making a new character that doesn't sound like an asshole so you hope that everyone can move on and have an actual good time.

Until he keeps talking about his asshole character. And when you - who have absolutely not made a secret of the fact that you have been increasingly uncomfortable with the whole situation the whole time - ask if he can just not talk about that character when you're around - he drops this meme

Because fuck you, fuck your enjoyment of the game that you'd been playing for years and regret ever inviting him to because his stupid fucking jackass character was allowed to irrevocably alter it forever for some. fucking. reason

You blow the fuck up and block him. He leaves the server. The game eventually picks back up but it's not really the same. You fucking want it to be the same, goddamn it, because you cared about it and you thought the other players cared about it but now the GM has this weird spiteful undercurrent, and has turned it into "I'm trying to kill you because that one fucking guy and him only didn't take it seriously so I'm gonna punish everyone by dialing up the difficulty and going back on things I'd previously said to nerf your character" but there's still shit you want to do and experience and shit you're looking forward to and this has been a beloved pasttime and a source of stability and JUST. FUCKING. FUN GODDAMMIT you don't want to give up on it

And then about a year later.

Many other incredibly stressful events have occurred in your life. You are not doing well. That is an understatement. You are falling apart. You try and communicate this to the only close friends you believe you have. Including specifically saying at least 2 or 3 times that you have been more and more suicidal and experiencing worsening paranoia and feel like you don't exist. You are mostly ignored. You try and hold shit together. If you pretend things are alright then maybe things will be alright. Everyone is having a hard time. You are aware that everyone is having a hard time and you don't want to make it worse. But holy fuck

One friend ghosts you for a month. You have no idea if it has anything to do with you or not, you have no idea if he's alright, you have no idea if he's alive. You're not important enough to communicate with. Other guy gets pissed that no one is talking and decides to start an argument with you about something unrelated. You make a convenient scapegoat, because your presence or absence in anyone's life is irrelevant anyone can treat you in any way without having to worry about consequences.

Sorry, "you" here still referring to me. You can stop being me anytime. I recommend it! I'm stuck though.

The whole situation I wrote about gets brought up. And actually, even though you could scroll back and find evidence that actually your memory of the events is accurate, actually it turns out that never actually happened, and actually:

You unilaterally invited that guy against the GM's will. He hadn't been talking about expanding the game and inviting more people. Everyone didn't initially get along.

You never explained, in detail, multiple times, to multiple people, what was wrong and how uncomfortable you were. You just acted weird and refused to say anything.

The term "triggered" is a specific medical / psychological terminology. When you said, multiple times and as clearly as you possibly could "no seriously this is actually bringing up traumatic shit from a previous abusive relationship and I am actually severely uncomfortable" you weren't using the term correctly because people who are triggered by something want to avoid any mention or discussion of the thing that triggers them because that discussion is in itself triggering. ...Oh, your reaction to a trigger not being what someone expects doesn't make that thing not triggering? You don't expect to be able to completely avoid the specific situation(s) or complex collection of circumstances and feelings that are triggering, so you'd rather talk about it if or when it comes up so people know what's going on and can hopefully work through it? Oh. Well, then, you aren't using the term correctly because you weren't, like, sexually assaulted. ...Oh, you were. Oh. I guess you are allowed to use the terminology. Let's all just breeze past the whole making you disclose that in order to be taken seriously thing. Which you still won't be, by the way, since:

You didn't adequately explain how and why you were triggered (please ignore the previous portion of the argument where I argued that if you were really triggered then you shouldn't be capable of talking about it at all) so how did you expect anyone to ever understand it or take it seriously or take it into account when trying to understand your behavior? (ha ha you thought that anyone would "take things into account" or "try to understand your behavior" in the first place)

You attempt, at one point, to make the comparison again "[other friend]'s ex continued triggering them despite their attempts to communicate their discomfort and used autism as an excuse, everyone agreed this was fucked up and unacceptable. [That guy] continued triggering me despite my attempts to communicate my discomfort, and it was all "c'mon he's autistic give him a break". This made me feel like a lower tier friend."

[Other friend] who had not previously been involved in the argument, hadn't been active in the discord channel where this conversation was taking place at the time and you weren't even aware they were online pops in to "hey what the fuck why are you bringing up and reminding me of my ex who treated me badly for no reason". The guy who you previously made the exact same comparison to, who agreed with you, is present. He says nothing. That would interfere with everyone dogpiling you for everything you say. You are not a thing that people stand up for. That's a thing that people do for friends. That's a thing people do for things that matter.

If in response to all of these events you say that you don't feel like you have friends, though, that's hurtful. It is hurtful to communicate that you have been hurt. You might make an actual person who actually matters feel bad.

Sorry, you can stop being me now.

Fuck. I originally started writing all of this out to attempt to work through shit and figure shit out and maybe get some 3rd party input (although I wouldn't blame anyone if they quit reading ages ago - or didn't even start reading in the first place hah, this is long as fuck) but there just... isn't any explanation for this, really, is there? What the fuck justification could there be for doing things to me that were openly called unacceptable when they were done to someone else, other than I was just. Not viewed as a thing that mattered.

Fuck.