#i also hope i'm not coming off as defensive(?) over the show?? like i fully realize i'm biased because this is my special interest
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transmascutena · 4 months ago
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Good evening (or morning, depending on your timezone).
Absolutely no hate, but I want to ask how you reconcile your enjoyment of the show with the reality of what Ikuhara has (most likely) done?/gen
I understand Death of the Author, but what drew me to Utena in the first place was its theme of critiquing the patriarchy and calling out abuse, which feels somewhat hypocritical now. I resonate with this show, and many of Ikuhara's other shows, on a personal level, which is why I am especially disappointed with the accusations since I now have to wonder how that reflects onto me as a person...?
Obviously I don't know you personally, but you seem to spend a lot of time and care on your analyses (which are great btw) so have you also struggled with this?
Again, there is like zero judgement when I say this and I'm absolutely not trying to come off as hostile (in case that is how this reads). And, there is no pressure on you to answer this and I'll completely understand if you want to ignore the ask.
Thanks.
hi, i've been thinking about this as well since yesterday, and it is kind of tough to figure out how to feel about. i think it's important to remember that ikuhara did not make revolutionary girl utena alone, for one. he had a whole team of writers and animators and producers and so on, that it would not exist without. obviously ikuhara played a big part in the show's creation, but far from the only one (if it was, i have no doubt it would be very very different), and . idk what my point really is here but i don't think his actions reflect on the show as a whole. it still is what it is, it still says the same important things about our society's systems of abuse that we've always talked about, even if the director didn't understand it or didn't want to understand it or however you want to put it. and by extension i don't think it reflects on to all the people who have enjoyed the show, who have seen their experiences in it, who have learned from it more about how this kind of abuse works and so on. and i think we need to be aware of what has (allegedly, but again, i believe it) happened, but i don't necessarily think we need to write off the show just because he had a hand in making it. because it is just as important as we've always known it to be, you know? though i think there are (as there has always been and there always is in anything) elements of the show to be critical of, and maybe some new things as well in light of this. i'll have to think about it more.
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sylveon-official · 9 months ago
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thoughts on angel's heartbreak
viv has already said that angel is gonna get his heart broken sooo
i imagine husk pushes a boundary. we've already seen husk push angel's limits quite a few times. he's obviously really judgmental and i think that's one of his biggest flaws. it almost seems like a defense mechanism, that because he's already given up on himself, he doesn't want to waste angel's potential and so he's harder on him.
we've got tons of examples of this in masquerade, with husk calling him fake. and even in welcome to heaven when angel is considering taking drugs, husk totally plays a guilt trip - "go ahead if you wanna mess up all your progress, i just thought you were better than that"
i think that's how the 'heartbreak' is gonna happen. angel can't believe he's got a someone like husk in his life and he's so smitten, coming to terms with his feelings for husk and tentatively getting hopeful that they're reciprocated. like husk has built him up enough to the point that angel feels he can break down his walls around him, so they're getting closer, more flirtatious in a really sweet way, sometimes even a little touchy.
so imagine them being at this stage, where angel so fully trusts him, which is a big deal for him. and then angel fucks up real bad. he's been clean for almost 6 months and him and everyone else in the hotel are super proud. but after a hard day in the studio he just breaks and goes on an all night bender. like he's out so late husk starts to worry and texts him, but all he gets is a belligerent phone call like "huskYYY BAaaby don' worry i'm jus' out w the girls from the studio u should be here miss yoo-" and then some guy cuts in like "angelbaby, i thought you were gonna show me a good time?" and angel's like "mmm oh ya cmere daddy~" and the call cuts off.
husk is fuckin pissed, not just bc angel is off the wagon after making so much progress, but he's also jealous. like they were obviously heading in the direction of something more, or so he thought, but here's angel back to his old self-destructive habits, getting fucked up and fucking random guys.
the next day, husk finds angel passed out on the on the couch. usually he would wake him up with breakfast or coffee if he knew he'd had a long night at the studio, but this time he just rolls his eyes and gets to work on the bar, maybe stuffing glasses back into cabinets a little louder than usual.
that wakes angel up and he's like, "huuusk what the fuck couldya keep it down?"
"it's almost noon. don't you have something to do? or someone..." he mumbles the last part, but angel hears and is wide awake like, "fuckin' excuse me?"
"what? you don't remember callin' me last night? sounded like you scored a real charmer"
angel is stalking up to the bar getting embarrassed and defensive, "wtf? since when do you care who i'm fuckin' in my free time?"
"i guess since it obviously wasn't a choice you made entirely sober! what were you thinking?! you were clean 6 whole months, and you gave it up to what? snort coke off of some hunk's abs?!"
angel's mouth drops open and he doesn't know what to say but his heart stings. he knows he fucked up real bad, but it was a hard day and he guesses old habits die hard... it's his first real attempt at getting clean, and of course he's disappointed in himself. and honestly, he was planning on talking through it with husk, but now...
"well that is just rich coming from you," angel says, shaking, rolling his eyes in the direction of husk's bloody mary.
"yeah, well, i'm not the one trying to get into heaven-"
"fuck off with that shit husk! you don't think i know i fucked up?! i'm not an idiot! you don't gotta keep that line in your back pocket for every time i screw up! i already know it's fuckin' pointless, you don't need to keep reminding me, asshole, get over yourself!" and he starts storming off upstairs, eyes welling up.
husk does feel guilty, and wants to continue the conversation, but he's still firmly of the belief that if angel just pulls himself together, he's a shoo-in for redemption and it's frustrating to see him self-destruct after making more progress than ever before.
"angel, wait-"
"NO, fuck you husk!" angel turns around, tears streaming down his face, pointing an accusing finger. "i thought if anyone could understand, it'd be you! i know everyone else is gonna be disappointed in me, but you-" he pauses, gulps down his tears and steels his face, "i guess i don't know you as well as i thought i did" and then storms upstairs.
then angel would have a few consecutive weeks of totally self-destructive behavior on a whole new level than anyone else at the hotel had ever seen. maybe he even moves out of the hotel and back in with val, having given up not only on himself and his grand delusions of getting clean and redeemed, but also his "stupid school-girl crush" on husk.
this turned into something way longer than i intended lol, but my point is that since angel is gonna experience heartbreak we know it has to involve husk, and with husk's habit of guilt-tripping angel... i think it will need to blow up at some point and be seriously discussed.
i also think we need to see the 'it gets worse before it gets better' side of recovery bc obviously it's unrealistic that now that angel is a serious resident of the hotel, his addictions are just gonna magically disappear. and i think that's gonna cause some misunderstanding and turmoil with not only husk, but also our main cast.
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zepskies · 5 months ago
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Hi Zep!! Question time! Apologies in advance for the multiple questions, apparently my sleep deprived brain was on a roll 😂 Are you working on anything fun or have any ideas you’d be okay sharing, kind of like a work in progress? Any more plans to write for Russell again (or maybe once Tracker is back on)? Have you ever thought about doing a crossover type of fic with multiple characters from different shows interacting (ex. Dean and Soldier Boy)? Do you have any Dean headcanons? Or about any or your favorite characters? 👀 Happy answering! 💕
Hey, Michelle! Ooh don't apologize, these are awesome questions! Though I hope you got some rest last night. 😂
Coming Soon: Dream With Me
I actually am working on a 3-part story for the Midnight Espresso-verse (Dean Winchester x Reader) that will start posting next week! It's called Dream With Me, and will be set in 15x20... If you want to learn more about it, here's the announcement with the summary and sneak preview!
More Russell Shaw? (Tracker)
Actually yes, I have considered writing another one-shot for Russell Shaw that would be like an epilogue for Every Second Counts. Or maybe just another one-shot that lives in that world, if you guys still want to read more about those two after I drop Part 5 later today!
Coming Soon? WIP Ideas:
I also have a few ideas that I've been kicking around in my head, or even partially outlined, but haven't fully written yet. Honestly, I'm not sure which one to tackle first. Maybe you can help me with that. 😘
Here they are:
"Don't You Forget About Me" - (Dean x Reader) Basically a retelling of 4x13 "After School Special," but with a Breakfast Club twist. 😜
Beau Arlen one-shot in the Take Me Home-verse. Premise: "Self-defense lesson" lol.
Or a more angsty hurt/comfort shot in the TMH-verse. Premise: "A snapshot of Beau's lingering PTSD from Randy's death."
Yet another Break Me Down (Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader) one-shot, this one set after Calculated Risks. I've gotten several requests to both continue on what happens after that story, but also to tell the story of the reader and Ben's wedding lol. So the premise would be: "At your son's first birthday, with your family and friends present, you and Ben find yourselves reminiscing about the chaotic day of your wedding."
Do you like the sound of any of these?
Crossover Stories:
You know, I've never been a crossover person for some reason. I think my brain likes the compartments of worlds and characters kept within themselves, unless it makes sense to crossover. For example, I couldn't see SPN world crossing over with The Boys world. The "rules" of each are just so different lol. But I have read one or two crossover stories I enjoyed.
Dean Winchester Headcanons:
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Do I have Dean headcanons? Oh, yes. Yes I do. 😂
They all live in my Dean Winchester Imagines/Headcanons masterlist, but they're also structured like vignettes that feature Beau Arlen and Soldier Boy as well.
All of these have been requests (**Notes 18+ only):
Headcanon:** How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to seeing your breast reduction scars. ❤️‍🩹
Headcanon: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would make up for pissing you off. 😤
Headcanon:** How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to you teasing him under the table. 😉
Headcanon: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to you getting “morning” sickness during pregnancy. 🤢
Headcanon: Personality types Castiel, Sam, and Dean would be attracted to. ⭐
If you have a headcanon prompt for me, whether in "quasi-narrative" form like these^ or as just my headcanon thoughts, I'd be happy to brainstorm one up for you. 😉 I haven't done one of those in a while.
Thank you so much for these questions, my friend! I hope these ideas and headcanons spark your interest. 💕
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little-devils-advocate · 4 months ago
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My Personal Experience With Neil Gaiman Here on Tumblr
So, I'm sure anyone who comes across my Blog will see from my Pinned Post that it was previously Deactivated here on Tumblr. I essentially used the Blog to discuss controversial issues: abortion, gun control, BLM, etc. & had done a lot of work there. I had been running it for years & talked about some pretty heavy stuff, catching a lot of criticism for my views, but I had never been Deactivated or even had anything taken down.
As you can see from what I have Posted here since restarting, I am a huge advocate for the homeless. I had been Following @neil-gaiman for a while as a minor fan, mainly due to my enjoyment of his stories Stardust & American Gods. I've read none of his books, because the writing style didn't appeal to me, but I have some of them & watched the Stardust movie & the American Gods show.
Anyway, I'd previously seen him Posting here on Tumblr complaining about his residuals & how little money he was making, which rubbed me the wrong way for obvious reasons, but I let it go, because it wasn't that big of a deal to me at the time. Everyone has scruples.
OP:
Months later I saw him Posting about the recent writer's strike & going on a tangent again. Everyone was patting him on the back & agreeing with him & it irked me. Badly. So, I Reblogged it with a picture of a tent city & a link to Sia's album Some People Have Real Problems. Obviously, it irked me that someone of his means was complaining about his residuals & how little writers make when people all over the country are struggling to make ends meet, many of them falling victim to homelessness. Like I said: some people have real problems. Writers also make much more than your average worker, but I digress.
He. Was. PISSED. He then proceeded to attack me on his Blog. I can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of 'I'm famous, how dare you question me!' I was then attacked relentlessly by his mob of fans to whom I vehemently defended myself & my position. I even recall one fan telling me that 'One day [I was] gonna wake up & regret insulting Neil Gaiman.' I think it's safe to say that day never came. 🙄
I wish I had screenshots for you all, but, like I said, my Blog was almost immediately taken down after the incident, which I find crazy as nothing I Posted in regards to this was out of line in any way. I did have some questionable shit on my Blog due to my endless defense against trolls, but like I said before, none of it had ever gotten pulled until then, so I'm really not sure what happened. I checked his Blog, but I can no longer find the Post there.
My guess is that Neil has some very serious issues with women &, quite frankly, I'm not suprised. I feel terrible for cracking up at him being dragged through the mud when I first got online this morning. I just saw part of the Post on FB via Threads & couldn't read it all, so I wondered what he did this time. I could never have imagined that it had to do with a SA or I would never have cracked a joke. I will try to be fully informed before I Post from now on, I just really felt a sense of vindication & closure when I saw that, & now even more so. And to that asshole, I will never wake up & regret insulting Neil Gaiman; Maybe if he wasn't being an entitled piece of shit with a broken moral compass I never would have done it. It just goes to show you that we need to stop idolizing celebrities. "You don't know these people."
I hope any of his victims continue to come forward so he can get his just desserts. On a personal level, I am so, so sorry that this happened to you & I empathize with you.
-LDA
Context:
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"I think I'm falling in love."
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Mike had a crush on you ever since you were new to Hawkins Highschool, he thought you were very pretty, Your beautiful brown skin, Your nose ring, and coily hair. Everything about you was perfect.
"How long are you going to stare at the new girl?" Dustin said coming out of no where startling Mike.
"What? I wasn't staring at her, I was looking at something else, and how long have you been behind me?" Mike said questioning Dustin.
"Yeah.... right, We've been walking and talking to get to class and talking about D&D but you weren't listening and you starting drifting off and starting staring at the new girl." Dustin listening off.
" I wasn't staring at her." Mike said defensively know he was staring at the new girl.
" Sure." Dustin said not believing Mike.
"Since your 'not' staring at her." Dustin emphasizing on the word 'not' making Mike roll his eyes.
" Why don't you just talk to her or introduce yourself instead of staring at her." Dustin said.
Y/n was lost and confused on where her class was, already her first day and doesn't know what class she's in. " God I hate school." Y/n muttered under her breath. Y/N says two guys talking to each other so she walked over to them.
" Dude, she's walking over here, what do I do?" Mike said frantically.
" I don't know talk to her like a normal human being would, Look, I'm going to Math, you can stay here and talk to her." Dustin patted Mike on the back as he walks away from him.
" Hi, I'm new here and I was wondering if you know where Mr. Wilson's class is?" Y/n asked Mike.
Mike look at Y/n as his heart began to beat, 'She's very pretty up close' Mike thought to himself.
" Oh, yeah sure it's actually upstairs, I can show you where it is." Mike said as he smiles nervously.
"Thank you, your a life saver." Y/n smiles at Mike.
Y/n followed Mike as he lead her the way to Mr. Wilson's Class.
" Thank you for leading me the way to my class, sorry if I seemed like a bother." Y/n apologizes as she looks at Mike.
" It's no problem." Mike smiled.
" Hey, I never got your name, I probably should have asked you first before you led me the way to my class." Y/n softly chuckles, Mike loved you cute little chuckle his heart skipped at beat.
" It's Mike... Mike Wheeler." Mike introduced himself to Y/n.
" I'm Y/n L/n, I'm new. And I want to say thank you, and I hope i see you around." Y/n said as she smiles at Mike.
Y/n thought Mike was pretty cute and how nervous he was talking to her.
" You too, well I'm of to class, bye Y/n." Mike nervously waved as he walks off.
Y/n fully adjusted to Hawkins Highschool, she joined cheerleading and was best friends with Chrissy, she also talks to Mike alot, she comes over to his house, Mike's mom loves Y/n, and his little sister and Nancy.
" Y/n we love you in our home, Mike talks about you alot." Karen said smiling at Y/n, Y/n giggles looking back at Mike, who was embarrassed and nervous.
"OK, mom Y/n and I are going upstairs, before you can say anything embarrassing about me." Mike smiles nervously as he holds Y/n's hand leading her to his room.
Y/n made it to Mike's room and kissed. I know this came out of the blue, but Mike and Y/n had been dating for 5 months.
Mike asked Y/n out after school. Mike saw Y/n smiling as she walks with her friends. She looked Flawless.
" Hey! Y/n." Mike called out as he grabs Y/n's attention.
" I'll see you guys tomorrow." Y/n said to her friends as she walks over to Mike.
'Mike you can do this.' Mike thought to himself.
" Hey, Mike. Do you need something?" Y/n asked as she looks at Y/n.
Her beautiful coily hair, her shiny brown eyes, and beautiful brown skin making her so beautiful in the sunlight as she's in her cheer outfit.
" I was wondering if you wanna go out with me, at the arcade." Mike said looking back at Y/n.
"But, if you busy, I understand I can just ask you some other ti-." Mike was cut off as Y/n kisses Mike, Mike was shocked hewaa not expecting that, But he kissed her back as he holds Y/n by her waist.
" I would love too." Y/n said smiling at Mike, as she pecks him on the lips.
" Bye, Mike." Y/n walks off.
" Yes." Mike said smiling as he jumps in victory
That's when Mike started to fall in love with Y/n, they hanged out alot, Y/n is always at his D&D games, and she's besties with Dustin.
Y/n and Mike made out in his bed as they passionately kiss each other. " I love you." Mike said as he looks at Y/n with so much love for her. Y/n wanted him to say those words when they started dating. " I love you, too." Y/n smiles as he kisses him.
Mike cups Y/n's face as they both rested there heads against each other as they hold hands.
Mike wheeler was madly in love with Y/N, and Y/n was Madly in Love with Mike Wheeler.
(Sry if this was short) :(
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rock-n-macabre · 10 months ago
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hiii!! if you want to, what are some headcanons you have for severen💗💗
Howdy, Anon! 🖤✨ I absolutely loved this ask - thank you ! Severen is definitely an enigma of a man and it was a blast to write these HCs for him! I wanted to write him in a different light - as much as I would want lovey Sevvy because lovey Sevvy is adorbs 🖤 - I decided to play with the reckless bad boy side.
Hope this is ok!
(also y'all please don't hesitate to send more requests - I'm happy and honored to write for y'all!)
---------- .🩸✨🩸. ------------
Severen Van Sickle HC's
🩸 Hard toss up if Severen bought or made his necklace himself. A part of me wants to say Mae made it for him as a thank you for him showing her how to shoot a gun.
🩸High chance of him being besties with the likes of Johnny Ringo and the cowboys before he was turned in Tombstone,AZ.
🩸As much as i'd want to say Severen would be head over heels for someone , he probably mistakens the feeling for that of lust. Wanna be turned? Best recommendation for your 'Survive Severen' plan would be to come up with something wild.. either an action or say some wildness to catch him off guard so that you're not bled out. Boom. Turned. He may be a little cranky pants at first because he is king of one night stands, but he stays true to code and would take one under his wing as his mate.
🩸When he is yours.....look out. I feel like it's a common HC for him to be territorial as all get out, and lawd help anyone who dares to make eyes at you. Also massive sex fiend. Bathroom quickies are a must.
🩸But behind this primal man..RAWR-apex- predator- rabid -possum man... lies one of the most loyal guys that will legit go through hell and back for you. Oh, he forgot something? He'll gladly do it again and be back with bells on.
🩸As much as I want to believe he gets sentimental like anyone would be open with their partner...I feel as if the moment he begins to , he feels vulnerable and will catch himself before fully letting his walls down. Cherish the small moments .
🩸When he got hit by the 18 wheeler, he probably checked another near death experience off his bucket list. Boyo is definitely as much of a masochist as he is a sadist. He will definitely get half cooked and be like "imma do it again!".
🩸I feel as if you got to mate status he would definitely find it attractive if you go in for a neck nibble on him . He'd either a) be smitten because that's a turn on to him or b) be taken aback and full defensive mode all like stay away from uncharted grounds!
🩸He definitely would want to feed off his mate. Now....you miiiiiiight have to pull him off of you so you don't get drained too much, but he likes the closeness and territorial side of the act.
🩸Now feeding off him? He'd expect you to hunt for yourself (he would love hunting together) ..he wants you to fit in and get the seal of approval. But if you get injured badly and need some blood to help recoup quicker? He might make an exception. As noted above, he might be into it if you can reach that level of intimacy with him 🖤
🩸Would 10/10 give you his spur. That's the same as a ring to him. Would hunt Caleb back down or steal it right off his boot (if Caleb stayed with the Hooker clan and didn't pull his BS) to give to his mate. You're all his, par'ner.
🩸Even though yeah he would be a goof around his mate to always captivate their attention...and yeah he can also act aloof in public towards prey....it's a front. The dude is actually super smart. He's an apex predator.....if he blew his cover right off the bat, what fun would that be? He's calculating, devious and knows things....even before he was turned, swaying people wasnt his first rodeo. He wrote the book on it.
🩸Does he have a vampire ex out there? Probably not. Dude has a hard time drawing the line when feeding. Go all in.....go big or go home. No work goes unfinished. There's a tragic romantic part of me that has the HC of Severen might have had a love interest before he was turned. When Jesse turned him, Severen didn't know how to control this new insatiable thirst and drained his mate. Could also play into a possibility as to why he could never get close to someone again from the past trauma....he won't admit to it, but it's there.
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shadowmaat · 9 months ago
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Mullet Wig, the Llama King
New drama just dropped!
I think we've all noticed that our favorite hellsite has some... issues when it comes to moderating toxic groups: Nazis, transphobes, TERFs, extremists of every stripe, etc.
In fact, there seems to be a trend where the victims of those groups are more likely to suffer consequences than the perpetrators themselves. Even in my tiny little mud puddle among the tumbleweeds I've heard things.
So when Our Kitty of Hacking, who has the bonus of being a reliable source, shares a story of a trans woman being banned from the site, I go digging.
In THIS corner we have a trans woman buckling under the weight of harassment and stalking. She's made multiple appeals to the mod squad for help and been continually ignored.
In frustration, she makes a post wishing for cartoonish violence to happen to Our Supreme Overlord... and gets banned.
In THAT corner we have Our Supreme Overlord, who bought a site that has never been profitable, couldn't turn a profit, and decided to shove it in the corner.
Under a deluge of complaints about the banning, he feigns having the high ground and cites the reasons why he's totally right and everyone else is wrong.
Point the first: "We have queer folks on staff, so we can't be queerphobic! They've never complained!"
Having queer peeps on staff doesn't mean much. For most companies it's just a checkmark to show how cool and inclusive they are. It doesn't mean they're treated well, it doesn't mean their concerns are listened to or addressed, and it doesn't mean that they speak for the entire community. Also? Just because they don't say anything doesn't mean they don't have objections. "fear of losing your job" is a hella big reason to keep your mouth shut.
"There was unmarked sexually explicit material and that's against our TOS!"
There's a difference between "showing off results of surgery while fully clothed" and "sexually explicit material" you absolute corncob.
"There were threats of violence!"
A Looney Tunes-style threat, especially one couched as "I hope" rather than "I'm going to" is not something to be taken seriously.
Also? The victim you've chosen to vilify was also receiving threats of violence- likely much more realistic and specific- and yet those threats were apparently not found to be in violation. Interesting how that works.
Additional point: You misgendered her. You fucking MISGENDERED HER. There is absolutely no excuse for that and you can't fucking claim you "didn't know" her pronouns. If you aren't sure, you FIND OUT before you go spouting self-defensive bullshit.
You've turned a blind eye to the hate groups and bad actors on here for years. Now, suddenly, when it's all about YOU, you suddenly find a way to moderate/remove anyone who hurts your fee-fees. C'mon, dude. I'll do a whipround to get you some mountaineering gear so you can finally get over yourself.
Just go back to ignoring us, you soggy cabbage.
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sergeant-spoons · 7 months ago
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Hello! Apologies if you have answered this somewhere, but I am new and I absolutely love your writing. Do you still write Band of Brothers oneshots or imagines? Or is it mostly your series? I am VERY excited to catch up on your series’, so I hope this doesn’t come across as rude. I was just curious. Also, would you ever write imagines of fics for Maters of the Air? Thank you for writing these wonderful stories!
Hi! Thank you so much for the ask and the love, I really appreciate it. Not rude at all! I haven't been writing much for the fandom lately, just some things here and there, but I hope to really get back into it during the summer once my schedule opens up a little. I have a relatively long masterlist of my one shots here and a list of my longer, chapter-based fics here (only one of which has been completed, In Defense of Chicanery, but I took down because I'm attempting to rework it into an original book. If that doesn't work out I'll put the fic back up in its entirety). I also post everything I've written (plus the occasional 18+ content) over on ao3 here.
I think I'll probably write more one shots before getting back into the longer fics to get my writing back into shape, but who knows? I'm also working on a fully original novel (separate from IDOC's new draft) that has seemingly ballooned into a trilogy over the last year or so. It's about WW2 paratroopers and the Airborne and the like, but it's my own original story with my own original characters, and I'm pretty happy with it so far.
I haven't seen Masters of the Air, and for some personal reasons, I'm not sure I will watch it—I won't be watching it any time soon, at least. I'm sure it's a fine show, but it's been made in a very different political climate than Band of Brothers was (though of course there are problematic aspects the making of BoB as well) and I'm not entirely comfortable with engaging with a show made in the present day that idolizes the American military, even in a historical sense. I struggle with that discomfort and my love for Band of Brothers sometimes, too. So I haven't watched MotA for the same reason I haven't watched Generation Kill and probably won't ever watch GK. I haven't really touched on my thoughts on this before - at least, I haven't posted about it.
Essentially, I won't be writing any Masters of the Air fics - but there are many, many amazing writers on here who are and who will continue to for a long time yet! One writer I can recommend right off the bat even though I haven't read her MotA fics (I have read almost all her other fics, though) is Killy, basilone/captainkilly on ao3 and @basilone here on Tumblr. Incredible writer. Go check her out!
I'm not sure who else of my mutuals has been writing MotA works but if anyone wants to add onto this post and promote their fics/another mutuals', go for it!
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aurekiwi · 4 months ago
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Hi, heres my feedback!
First of all, thank you for the length and detail of the reading, it seemed to be of a very high quality!
I'll so the first half of the reading first:
It wasn't much of a suprise to me, because it is mostly how I view myself; One unexpected part was the optimism/positivity (I viewed myself as moreso realistic/pessimistic). But on second thought, I feel like the positivity is more of a 'front' I put on (not in a fake or two-faced way, just to seem like more of a secure person). The part where you said that I'm "Filled with so much love and life" made me really happy, because it's exactly how I want to come across to other people, bubbly and exciting to be around!!!
I also am pretty generous (A bit too much at times 😭), and I'm glad that it's appreciated.
One part that maybe didn't resonate as much is where you wrote that they appreciate me for being vulnerable, because I feel like that being guarded is one of the things I struggle with most lmao; But I suppose they may still perceive me as being vulnerable even if I'm not??? Idk 💀
Now for the second part;
My anxiety affects a lot of the way I act, which 100% leads to the first and third point (being stubborn/controlling at times); Especially when I'm feeling defensive and less willing to explain my actions. Thankfully I'm working on this, so I can be a better friend and less uncompromising.
I also do think that my generosity may not have fully good-intentions behind it; Primarily (like maybe 90%) it's for the sake of aiding my friends, but I think sometimes insecurity can lead to me trying to show off financially wise, or trying to seem as if I care more about my friends than they do about me. I think the expecting-reciprocity applied more to emotional favours (like clearing my schedule to spend time with them), but still the same principle.
To be honest, I don't know what the last point (about priorities) could be referring to, but that's definitely something I'll have to reflect on. I might ask them about it actually... :/
Overally, I think this reading made me feel appreciated (and wanted LMAO) and made me feel better about the insecurity I feel in my relationships, whilst it also highlighted that I kinda need to work on my entitlement, and having an equal give-and-take balance.
I love how what I learnt in this reading can actually be applied to my life, and I think I can use this to improve my friendships and the way I treat my friends.
I apologise for the length of the feedback (as you can see I was waffling lol), but I hope you can see my appreciation!!! This reading helped my so much, and I think I'll have to dedicate a page (or two) in my journal for this.
I hope you have a great day/night :D
thank you so much for detailed feedback! i'm really glad that the reading resonated and helped you recognize some things. hopefully you can work through some of your struggles with the support your friends and loved ones 💚 you got this!
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soaringwide · 7 months ago
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Hi I hope you’re well! Please could you tell me if I will meet a future romantic partner soon? I’ve been single quite a while now and I’m slowly ready to get back out there. I’m also going on a trip next week and was curious if I would meet someone. Thanks!✨
Hello! Thank you for reaching out! Sorry it took me a while to get to your ask so I won't ask about your trip since you probably already left. However I can totally do a ''Love ahead''.
Note: free readings are currently closed.
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So as to where you're currently now, I think you may be feeling a bit over protective or defensive of your heart. You definitely want more from your love life and feel very determined to experience something, but it's like, you don't dare feeling fully optimistic about the future as you worry you're going to end up with nothing. It's kind of a protective mechanism not to get hurt, in the sense that if you don't dare hoping, then it may hurt less.
For what's going for you, with the 4 of wands I definitely feel like you're willing to step out of your house and go out and meet people, kinda like trying to find new circles and places to encounter a potential relationship, which is great. I'm getting these places being joyful and highly social, celebratory and welcoming. Perhaps you could even get help from friends or loved ones to expand your social circle through mutual connections.
As for what's hindering you, I think you've got some work to do in matters of releasing bonds and limitations from either past traumas surrounding intimacy, or from a past relationship. There is something that's still holding you back and that makes you feel like you can't get the new love that you're wishing for. There may have been a past unhealthy relationship that made you feel lessened, and I think that's why even with the desire and drive shown in the cards, you still have your boundaries up. I do think you've done a lot of work already (the devil is reversed so it's in the release position) so it's just a matter of keep pushing through it though.
I think that part of that healing process will happen through a new relationship though. As in, yes you have to work on yourself, but when you'll find that healthy and fulfilling relationship, it will help heal your wounds and release the pain. However, you need to give yourself the time and space to grow that in that new future and potential relationship as it will trigger your fears and defense mechanism, so you need to be gentle with yourself in the process and keep trying to do the work on your end. But I'm definitely getting that what you will receive is an opportunity to release past pains regarding love.
For what you need to release, you need to be mindful of your tendency to want to make things happen at all cost. It stems from a lack of self-confidence that makes you think that you're either not worth something good, or that you will miss an opportunity if you don't act fast, so you react by coming off a bit too strong, if I can put it that way. The danger could be to settle for something that's not actually good for you because you don't believe you deserve something better and you don't give yourself the time to really consider the connection before committing to it. So release that impatience, know your worth and take your time before committing.
As for most probably outcome for your future, I cannot give you a timeframe but you got the Magician, and the Chariot as the bottom of the deck, so I definitely think you're on track towards your wish. The Magician is all about mastering all suits of the tarot, which means being in harmony with your emotions, thoughts, resources and drive/the actions you take. It's also the card of making your desires happen in reality, so I think this is a very positive card for you here. The Chariot as bottom of the deck is all about determination and success in your pursuit, and I think the fact that it shows the overarching energy is a good sign that you're on the right track. But do be clear about what you want and be mindful of the advice you got in this reading. Don't forget that you always have a choice, you're the one driving the chariot and you're in control of your actions.
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Hope that was helpful and I wish you good luck in your love life! :)
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crimsonblackrose · 3 months ago
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.
I do love when shows and movies use this song in ways like this.
Kreese crying. Not something I ever expect to see.
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The doc coming over to him while he cries is totally how he stole her pass.
Gabriel fake stabbing Kreese, hopping out of the way and grinning as the guards come in.
Though I do want to know how he faked his death fully. Because this guard checks his pulse.
When Barnes slams on the breaks Daniels head hits a tv screen in the back. Tv death #5? or 6? Not Johnny's though so first mini tv death.
"Get your damn hands off him." Hits Daniel in the head. (Second head injury of the night so far for Daniel)
Daniel is struggling to focus due to the two head injuries and being super drunk during Barnes's rant.
We're all drunk, this is a bad idea. Barne's is on something stronger. We shouldn't do this.
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and they left this drunk darling by the side of the road with two head injuries.
You think Sam helped bandage Tory's hand? Since Tory had gone just the ice route and probably wouldn't have been able to do it herself?
Johnny stopping Barnes from kicking down the door because it looks like solid oak, but he'll do it. Still not wanting random people to get hurt. He did the same thing to Chozen. Thankfully Chozen is a karate master and knows to first test and see if the door is open.
They are, as Silver warns, trespassing, so any injuries from here on out are defense from Silver's side.
Also it kinda seems like he has all the sensei's living with him.
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What is the red button in the snakes tongue? Oh right, another camera.
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Johnny running and clothes lining two dudes to hold them down.
Daniel: don't go drunk to Silver's house that's breaking and entering and assault. Also Daniel: I'm taking your truck no matter what, prepared to fight four guys to steal their truck.
Stingray in the cobra kai charger: Mr. Larusso, come with me if you want to live. (It's also started raining)
Amanda popping her head out "Daniel get in the car the kids are in trouble."
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Poor Daniel. He's drunk, gotten two head injuries, had to walk, and now you're throwing a lot of new information at him all at once.
They changed the license plate to say Stingray
Chris calling a warning. Kyler and Kenny have shown up.
Stingray gets the cobra kai group chats, and got the one that they were going to ambush Daniel's students.
He knew he had to warn Daniel...or well Amanda.
Stingray put on sunglasses even though he's driving while it's dark because "Stingrays see better in the dark"
Silver pointing out that he kept crossing the line Chozen told him not to cross.
Silver takes off his watch and bracelets before fighting Chozen.
Johnny is running on whisky and white claw and feels no pain. (Plus a few coors) and then gets kicked and immediately goes 'that hurt'
Chozen got his sai's back.
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Silver got the sword
Chozen: I'm not afraid to kill. Terry: I'm not afraid to die.
Part of me thinks he was hoping Chozen would kill him. Like it'd be an honorable death.
Johnny as three guys fight him. Damnit wait your turn.
oho! TIG is doing a fencing retreat as he's backing up to the pool.
Do you think Terry Silver wanted to die in his pool like Gatsby?
Like he's literally drawing Chozen towards a specific spot.
Terry first slices Chozen's upper right arm.
Meanwhile the four sensei's are beating the tar out of Johnny while Barne's is out.
Terry get's the back of Chozen's left thigh next.
Chozen uses his sai's to knock Terry down into the water. Then holds the sai to Terry's throat and just doesn't do it.
I was meant to die on the battlefield. Do it.
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It's close to what Chozen tells Daniel. Both Silver and Chozen picked death.
Chozen hears Johnny's yell of pain and gets distracted.
Silver pushes him away and slices his back. Instead Chozen gets to be Gatsby. But with like bloody wings.
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Kenny uses the silver bullet on Robby and he can't breathe which they mirror with Johnny falling to his knees.
Johnny to Silver: Well you look like shit
When Silver says Chozen is off the board Johnny lunges forward though he's being held back and says : I"m going to kill you.
Kreese always told Terry that Johnny was his best student, but terry doesn't see it. "You've got guts Lawrence" he says looking around. "I'll give you that. But just not much upstairs. Attacking me on my own turf. Come on. You never stood a chance. But if it's any consolation, you won't be around to screw up another kid." He held Johnny's head up by his hair and Johnny swats him away.
He tells teh sensei's to finish Johnny and then Robby's in a similar fight with like 3 cobra kai's beating him up until Miggy jumps in.
I love that Demetri and Eli swap. Eli started fighting, now he's doing the tech stuff while demetri fights.
He finally got to knock Kyler out.
Protect the egg, all Miyagi-do run into protect Anthony while he as baby tech boy of the binary brothers finishes the upload.
Also fascinated that Miggy has taken off his flannel and has it like wrapped around his hands but hanging in front of him. What are you doing kiddo? Oh he's using it as a weapon.
Kim tries to stomp on Tory's hurt hand, Sam attacks Kim, she even uses her braid as a whip which hits Sam.
I like the Devon immediately flips. Kim you said the young ones like lee would be easier to train, less to unlearn, not realizing you picked one of Johnny's.
"That's it?" Showing that he cheated and admitted it was the whole reason they broke into the dojo?
But the look on Daniel's face when he sees silver and realizes he got out but not Johnny, chozen or barnes
Johnny getting his second wind, and kicking ass, beating up and dodging the group of sensei's.
And of course, Johnny throwing one of them into a TV and it landing on the guy. is that 6 TV's now?
Johnny "I did most of this."
Barnes: "Yeah you did."
Daniel using Silver's Quick Silver against him and blocking the silver bullet.
Silver grabs one of the trophies to fight Daniel with or use as a weapon and for at least a second time in his life, gets throw into glass. (This time with the crane kick). The cobras take off their cobra gear led by Kenny and throw it on a passed out Silver.
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I love the background nerds sharing a blanket.
Miguel tells Sam he didn't want to break up but her figuring things out and being okay was more important because he loves her.
Johnny drove the limo
"we've got to get you to a hospital." "Just a flesh wound." "Yea but like all your flesh." Chozen getting into the back of an ambulance: maybe should've had short long island iced tea.
Barnes's stole Silver's Rembrandt.
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Johnny and Daniel hug.
Appreciate the guard who goes through a facial journey watching the doctor or whoever lift up his 'bloody' gloves to snif and then lick his fingers.
It was melted jello.
the yellow button up and tie look kinda like Johnny's from whenever he had a job interview or to meet the board
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How'd his doctor not realize he lifted her badge? Like it's been hours.
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frost-felon · 1 year ago
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Thunderclap, Part 2 got me in a grip, for better and worse. Remembered to use a Read More this time.
So, my issues with the character animation on Sukuna? Part 2 delivered¹, though almost in the other extreme, lmao. He's such a prick, and Yuji paid the price via a simplistic frame during one of his most defining character moments. I did actually like much of how they adapted Yuji's breakdown and decision to soldier on, though it felt comparatively rushed to the manga, even accounting for the differences of animation versus the art of manga. EDIT: Having re-read that chapter, they definitely fucked over Yuji. His breakdown is given significantly more pause and elaboration on what he's actually thinking of ("I wonder why I have to be executed." juxtaposed with the answer: Yuji's life isn't worth more than the suffering Sukuna causes, even to Yuji himself.) in the manga, whereas the anime portrays it as if ALL OF THAT happened in like, two minutes in JJK time. Disappointing, as I really thought MAPPA would give that scene the weight it deserves. It's not nearly as much of a sucker-punch low in that episode, at least to me.
Uraume still got cucked, lmao, getting hit with the blur for half of their minimal screentime in this episode. Not as off-putting as last episode's, so I'm hoping to see more attention to Uraume later. EDIT: Having re-read that chapter, Uraume loses the depth-ambiguity in the manga scene.
Mahoraga fight was adapted extensively, which while hardly surprising, oozed a feeling of, "We gotta hype up Mahoraga for later." One thing I really liked was the additional civilian kills, for fleshing out the anime's depiction of Shibuya's liveliness (and then the wasteland it partially becomes); one thing I took issue with were the civilian kills via Sukuna's Domain. Unless my brightness wasn't up high enough, we didn't get to see Dismantle in a way that sticks/is informative and impactful, like how the manga handled it.
I liked how the abominable twink's death was handled. Haruta's characterization seemed notably different from the way he was portrayed in the manga, though. Rough for all eight of his fans.
I felt iffy on the explanations in this episode--some of the vital information seemed to be skipped, not just adapted visually (that is, shown with clever framing/animation-direction instead of narrated). This seemed to come at expense of showing off Sukuna's insight, though the bastard still made a good showing throughout his time in this arc.
Praying that Yuji gets great character-animation for the rest of these episodes. I doubt MAPPA will pass up the absolute state of this lad in the end-chapters of Shibuya Incident, but I need to see how he's handled before that. The way they handled him in this episode has weakened the doubt.
That one still of Yuji that they used twice reminded me of holding-shot issues in the Maki VS. Mai fight and I think part of the defensive against Hanabi in S1. It's just not a compelling enough frame to stay on for so long, especially compared to how the manga showed changes in Yuji's expressions in each panel. It definitely didn't deserve to be used twice, though the part showing his fingers rising to grip his head was nice. Actually groaned when they held on it again. I'm aware that budget/time-constraints likely played into why the scene was adapted this way.
Also, EVIL to use "SPECIALZ" there, though I guess that gives us a better idea of what the OP was meant to point to. I still see it as an overall summation of the "Everybody knows that shit's fucked!"vibe of Shibuya Incident. I can't remember what exactly I said when it cut to the ED, but that was a remarkably evil choice, too, to keep it fully-intact.
Also, heyyyyy, Nanami! You look...like you really need to see Ieri. Bet we're gonna have fun with him in the next episode.
¹Rereading the chapters had made me once again appreciate the differences in how manga Sukuna and anime Sukuna are depicted. I miss the bit where Sukuna gets surprise-decked, though the "oh shit" expression he had later in the anime was fun.
Bonus: Tags that didn't age well.
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I don't have a whole lot of thoughts on Episode 16/Thunderclap, but man, the changes to how the scenes where Sukuna takes enjoyment in playing with the lives of the 'weak' and the reunion with Uraume suck the wind out of my sails. I have some problems with how MAPPA has adapted the Premature Burial -> Shibuya Incident chapters (Mechamaru/Kokichi, my guy, what did they do to you--), but I was really hoping to see the emotions present adapted in a way that was faithful to the intent of the panels, even if it wasn't the same. And it's like...the expressions were kept, but they were shadowed, zoomed-out, or both. That strikes me as such a loss, since Sukuna is shown to be outright giddy when he's wrecking shit in Yuji's body. Sure, he made fun of Yuji when the latter was made hopeless witness to Junpei's demise, but he hasn't shown emotions like this since Yuji tried to kick Sukuna's ass after calling Sukuna's bluff in Chapter 10/Episode...5 or 6, can't remember. Hell, you could probably argue that even then, he wasn't filled with as much glee. Mirth, perhaps, but this is different.
Sukuna genuinely seems to be elated at having control during Shibuya, even though he knows it will be short-lived. It's not hard to see why--he's Yuji's prisoner most of the time. Whether he admits it or not, he's bound to Yuji's whims, with his only levels of control being: he can refuse to give his power to Yuji, and he's got the Binding Vow that Yuji can't remember. That's it. Don't get me wrong, Sukuna holds a lot of power and control over Yuji, but Yuji ultimately decides if Sukuna gets to feel the breeze on any given day. And in most cases, understandably, he chooses to not give Sukuna that freedom.
So Sukuna getting some time to do whatever without Yuji's interference? You can bet that he's high on life.
And when Sukuna sees Uraume, he appears actually excited. Uraume is, likewise, rather pleased that Sukuna is around. They're doing this at each other in the manga:
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Is it so wrong, MAPPA, to want to preserve what crumbs of characterization we can get for either of these two? I know that MAPPA probably won't fuck with a certain Uraume scene later, but damn, I miss the touches on character animation.
Anyways, Yuji will suffer regardless, as Gege intended.
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stillness-in-green · 2 years ago
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Why do you dislike edgeshot? (I'm just curious, not offended or anything. I hope u don't mind me asking.) Is it just because he is a depthless personalityless stereotype that's just there taking up panel count without adding anything worthwhile to the story (bnha does have a lot of these so I can understand being fed up of that), or is there a particular reason?
You’re pretty close to on the mark, anon! (Also, you are a witty and succinct person who gave me a solid laugh, so thank you for that.)
I’m not afraid to admit that the main reason is pure personal pettiness that he’s apparently the one who defeated Re-Destro, off-camera, somehow, despite me being hugely unclear as to how exactly his ‘piercing’ gimmick would even work against RD’s concentrated Stress (on his prosthetics, sure, but that just reduces RD's mobility, not his defense).  That’s, like, 95% of the reason right there.
Edgeshot does compound the problem by being all the other stuff you said, though.  I could maybe take some Copium and get over it if he had anything else going on as a character, but he just doesn’t.  It’s not even just that he’s pure stereotype (and not a particularly interesting stereotype, at that), but that, compared to even just his fellows in the Top 10 Hero Rankings, he’s so impossibly dull, with no interesting relationships, drama, frailties, weaknesses or losses whatsoever.
Like, take a look at this, then hit the jump with me:
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Endeavor: HIS FLAWS ARE LEGION.  And while he wins his fights, he doesn’t do so without taking damage—first the scar from High End, and now he’s just lost an arm to AFO, and isn’t out of the woods yet. Has distinct relationships with quite a few different people in the cast.
Hawks: I may not be very happy with how the narrative is handling him right now, but there’s no denying that it’s gotten a lot of mileage out of the conflict between his conscience and his training, his cheerful mask and his lethal pragmatism.  He hasn’t yet and apparently may never fully grow his wings back after his Dabi run-in, and he's still in the middle of a fight with AFO, so there's time for more to go wrong yet. Has a handful of reasonably well established relationships with other characters, including some heavy duty worldbuilding stuff.
Best Jeanist: First character to baldly state, “Heroes and villains are two sides of the same coin,” reflecting a nuanced understanding of the impact of image long before that element would come into play with Dabi’s video.  Lost a lung to AFO; still tends to cough blood when he exerts himself overmuch. Has a whole thing with Bakugou.
Mirko: Says disparaging things about teamwork just as the manga is swinging towards it being The Done Thing for heroes post-Kamino.  A blood knight rabbit.  Lost an arm and a leg against the Near High Ends, currently fighting with very visible prosthetics.
Crust: Uncool, heart-on-his-sleeve weepiness.  Only heroic character to express sympathy to the Near High Ends.  Dies saving Aizawa’s life. Seems to have a hero father?
Kamui Woods: Interestingly stark moral binarism towards villains.  Got taken out during the raid on Jakku because he dropped his guard and swung face-first into a blue fire inferno. Is maybe-probably dating Mount Lady.
Wash: Strange cartoon character.  Showed sorrow about the state of his turf after the raids.  Got beaned with a ballistic frying pan and shouted at by angry, unsympathetic civilians.
Yoroi Musha: Did a sturdy, admirable job for decades, but what he’ll be remembered for is that he retired after the war because he valued being wanted more than he valued helping people.
Ryukyu: Self-effacing, has a semi-solid relationship with her interns we see periodically, gets her hand rather hideously punched through at Jakku by Shigaraki’s raw strength.  Still hasn’t shown up in the current arc, though she was at least shown as active in the interim, so we know she’s not out of commission.
Like, of that lot, Ryukyu doesn’t have a tremendous lot of personality, not has she taken any particularly bad damage or losses, but she at least has something established with some of the students, and when she fights, she has to work for it.  You can see her straining, see the pain she’s sometimes in; she soldiers through it, but it isn’t effortless.
Crust is basically a caricature, but he’s not a caricature who’s out there defeating major villains.  When he faces a snap decision to save Aizawa or save his own skin, he doesn’t get a miracle; he doesn’t manage to somehow do both and look effortlessly cool doing it.  He saves Aizawa, and he dies for it.
Wash may be a bonkers character who we don’t know if is a man in a strange costume or one of the series’ more bizarre heteromorphs, but he demonstrated more humanity in Chapter 300 than Edgeshot has in 300 chapters altogether.  Out in the ruins of a city, being attacked physically and verbally—and not being unshaken by either!—Wash nonetheless rallies himself to help those people anyway.
Edgeshot?  Never comes up against a villain that makes him work for it.  Never shown actually interacting with interns or teammates outside of combat, as opposed to just being on-panel with them.  Always cool and collected.  Never shaken, never falters, never takes significant injuries.  Okay, yes, it looks like his hand is a bit fucked up in Chapter 296, which I’d probably call about equivalent to Ryukyu’s injury, but he’s a total stoic about it.  We don’t get to see him take that injury or react to it in any way.  He’s on-scene at Kamino and even goes a few rounds to keep AFO distracted, but somehow comes out of that totally fine. There’s never any sense that Edgeshot is seriously up against someone who outclasses him because he never seems to have to work for anything he does; the closest he came to having to really struggle was his fight against Re-Destro, which happened almost entirely off-camera.
You know the closest anyone has ever come to handing Edgeshot a significant failure? Haimawari Koichi, from the damn spin-off manga. And even that's probably more Jeanist's failure than Edgeshot's; regardless, it doesn't cost Edgeshot anything because all Koichi's trying to do is run away.
So, that's the sum of it. There’s just nothing the slightest bit engaging about Edgeshot to me.  God in heaven, someone hand that guy a loss.  I am ready and past ready.
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lalaangeldust · 4 years ago
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𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬
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𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚 𝐱 𝐠𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 [ 𝟑𝐤+ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 ]
[ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ] : gross sticky icky fluff // friends to lovers troupe <3 // hanta is a huge dork, we all been knew this // hanta is also sickeningly sweet and affectionate // GOD, I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH
[ 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ] : on a clear night, you go out to stargaze on the dorm roof; nothing out of the norm for you but in the middle of admiring the stars, sero comes out to join with something big he needs to get off his chest.
[ 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 ] : you - blue // sero - orange
[ 𝗺𝘆𝗸𝗶𝗲'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ] : i'm totally not projecting my fantasies onto sero and i'm totally not a sucker for friends to lovers fics :| /s
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Sitting on the cool concrete of the dorm roof, the night illuminated by nothing but the streetlights below you and the stars above as you lay in silence with your legs propped against the roof's ledge. You've always thought the best part of UA was how it was out of the way so the stars are clearer than they were back in the city. Although graduation is soon and end of year exams are menacingly looming over you, you couldn't resist the urge to come out and soak up the full moon's gorgeous light. Nights like these, alone on a clear night, soft music playing through your headphones, scanning the vast sky, connecting the dots as your eyes wander to make constellations of your own are arguably one of your most favorite things in life.
The only thing that could possibly make this better is... him.
Eyes trailing to the brightest star you can find and admiring how it sticks out from everything else in your vision, your mind uncontrollably wanders to Sero. How that star kinda reminds you of him...
Ugh! what a ridiculous thing to think! Damn him for always finding a way to worm into your thoughts. Your hands fly to your forehead with a smack, outwardly groaning as you drag your fingers down your face in an attempt to shake off your thoughts. You've been friends with him for nearly three years! You would think you'd be over your petty crush on him by now. You two are practically siblings with how you two are almost always attached at the hip, always causing trouble together, always there when the other needed it, always making you feel safe... It would be weird to have feelings for him... right..?
But before you could rationalize your emotions any further, a hand reaches for your headphones, lifting one side off your ear as you hear a soft voice murmur behind you, “The moon’s beautiful tonight, isn't it?”
You practically jump out of your skin, immediately shooting up to take a defensive position. Although you can’t make out the silhouette you’re now facing, the all too familiar laughter that comes from them is more than enough to give away who this false intruder could be and you sigh in relief.
“Sero! You scared me half to death!!” you exclaim, relaxing your shoulders at seeing his familiar frame emerge through the dim light.
Tall and lean with a smile that could nearly rival the sun, the boy chuckles at you. His long pitch black hair he's been growing out for the past year cascading down the sides of his face, just barely brushing past his shoulders framing his face in a way that makes his dashing features stand out even more. Sero approaches you wearing a loose muscle tank top with his hands tucked in ill fitting sweats and a pair of black stud earrings he stole from you in his ears.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sero chuckled, "I didn't mean to scare you so bad, doll". You send him a deep glare through the darkness and he throws his hands up out of his pockets to either side of his head in defense.
"...Maybe you shouldn't sit out here with music blasting in your ears,” Sero snarks back, “I could’ve been a villain,” he continues mockingly, “Not to mention that horrible stance you took. I don't think you’d fair very well against a villain while sitting down,” he teases with a wide grin smeared on his face. You scoff and roll your eyes in response.
“Are you only here to tell me how much of a hazard I am? Or do you want anything else, tape face?” you grumble.
“Oh, you wound me!” Sero exclaims dramatically, “I was simply wondering what my lil’ muffin was up to,” he muses, the dimples on his cheeks becoming visible as his grin only stretches wider as he speaks.
“Oh god, muffin!?!? ew!” you groan, “What the hell, I thought we agreed on no more stupid pet names,” you say with a giggle while scrunching up your nose.
“I didn't think it was stupid,” Sero huffs as he plops himself down next to you and wrinkles his nose back at you, “Muffin is a valid nickname. You just have no taste,” he concludes with a short nod, still smiling like an idiot.
You just roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him before tilting your head up to go back to looking at the stars. Sero chuckles softly, staring at you for a moment while admiring you as you look at the sky with a softened smile on his face.
“Why you up so late?” he inquired.
“I could ask you the same thing, Sero,” you reply while throwing your head back down to look at him.
“Mmm, well, I was sleeping but… I suddenly woke up and couldn't go back to sleep,” he grunts as he adjusts himself into a more comfortable sitting position next to you.
You hum in acknowledgment before you look back up to the stars in the sky and Sero is left to admire you once again. How your eyes glimmer with the stars as the full moon softly illuminates your frame is a breathtaking view he would never tire of. The look on your face when you gaze at the sky, the look of pure adoration and awe is a look he hopes, prays, dreams you’ll give him one day.
“What’re you thinking, hun?” he softly asks, hoping you’d give him just the slightest glimpse of what goes on in your head. You pause for a moment, taking in his question and wondering how to answer it.
“Just thinking. Thinking thoughts. Nothing notable or important, I can assure you. Just enjoying the clear night,” you say, swerving his question to avoid the real answer. him.
“Ah, that was a rather vague answer,” he jests, mildly disappointed that you didn't let him in and you only hum in response.
“What about you?” you ask, “What made you wanna come up here?”
“Oh, well..” he begins but is held back by a lump that suddenly lodges in his throat, not really wanting to fully admit why he came up here with you.
In reality he hadn't slept at all. He’s embarrassed to admit it but he couldn't stop thinking of you all night, all day in fact. You just about consume his every thought and tonight, no matter what he did, he just couldn’t shake the thought of being with you.
After being so close with you for years now, people often assume the two of you are dating but the idea is almost always dismissed by a shy laugh and an averted gaze... Sero would be lying if he ever said he didn't relish the idea of being in a romantic relationship with you but... You never seemed all that interested in the idea and Sero was too scared to push the idea you may like him even half as much as he likes you. Never going farther than light hearted flirting and banter, some may call him a coward maybe but to him? Being your friend was enough. Well, that was until Mina and Kiri gave him a harsh wake up call earlier that morning.
They were scolding him on how painfully obvious it is how both you and Sero are nearly head over heels for one another, how they've spent the past year pining for one another, yet the both of you have stayed so blind to the fact you have feelings for each other. Absolutely dumbfounded by this, he asks what he should do about it, about you, to which they immediately and overwhelmingly demand him to confess his feelings for you. That is the real reason he came to find you.
“When I was trying to go back to sleep, I thought about something someone said… about taking chances,” he spoke in a soft and thoughtful tone, “Taking that blind leap of faith into the unknown things we’re afraid of because... what’s the worst that can happen…?” he pauses, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly realizing how silly he probably sounds as he looks at you, “I dunno- sounds kinda dumb now that I say it out loud,” he says dismissively.
“No, no. I don't think it sounds dumb at all. I think it’s very insightful” you say, ushering him to continue by resting your head on your palm as you look at him intently to show your interest.
“Well, uh,” butterflies swarm to his chest as he tries to find the words to speak, finding it much harder to talk when he knows he has your full attention.
“Well, it led me to think about you 'cus I know that's something you talk about a lot as well… and I figured since it's a full moon tonight, you'd be up here,” he concludes. His gaze nervously shifting to his feet, averting his eyes from you to try and calm the fluttering nerves in his chest.
“I’m glad you did,” you hum, a low warmth growing in your chest from knowing he thought about you, “I enjoy your company,” you add thoughtfully. Though you probably just meant it in a friendly way, it didn’t change how much it meant to Sero to know you like having him around.
“I’m happy to hear that,” Sero chuckles nervously, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he slightly scooches closer to you. You take notice and you subtly tilt to the side, leaning in his direction not yet touching shoulders but leaving an opening to do so if he wanted.
“I uh- I also wanted to tell you something- In regards to what I was thinking about…” Sero mumbles nervously, hoping you didn’t catch what he said so he would have an excuse to not go through with his confession. Pretend like nothing happened and move on to just enjoy the simple friendship you two share.
“Oh?” You inquire, “What do you want to tell me? I’m all ears,” Sero fiddles with his thumbs, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before he speaks as you patiently wait for him.
"I- uh, I love you," he blurts, head swimming as he looks at you, eager and insatiably nervous to hear how you may respond, horrified you may not reciprocate his feelings and ultimately ruining what relationship you two did have.
"I love you too, Sero," you giggle.
Sero's heart drops, confidence dwindling as he assumes you thought he said "I love you" in the way you two always have. Just as friends. But he didn't. He meant it. He meant it in so many more ways he couldn't even begin to describe. He didn't expect you to reciprocate his feelings in the first place but that doesn't make him hurt any less.
"No, you don't understand," Sero sighs as he runs his hands through his long, thick hair, "I'm in love with you," You turn you head to him, Did he-? eyes widening at what Sero said, unsure if what you heard was a wishful hallucination or not. When you said "I love you" back, you genuinely meant it in the same way he does now. God, you've been in love with him for what seems like the first moment you two met but you would've never guessed Sero felt the same for you.
You sit in silence for a beat trying processes what Sero had just said to you. Your friend, your closest friend, is in love with you..? Something you've dreamt of becoming a reality. You start to get dizzy from the overwhelming euphoria and anxiety the realization simultaneously brings. You look at Sero, placing your hand on his to ground yourself as you look up at him, a warm smile spreading on your face.
"I love you too, Hanta," you say earnestly. Sero's heart leaps in his chest at your words. Not only did the person of his dreams reciprocate his feelings but they also addressed him by his first name?! He might as well be dreaming. Hearing his name fall off your lips like warm honey for the first time sends him flying through cloud nine.
"Y-you mean it??" Sero stutters, still unable to believe it. You give him a heartfelt smile as you squeeze his hand before standing up. You wordlessly walk around Sero and crouch behind him.
Utterly confused and growing increasingly flustered at your sudden close proximity, Sero opens his mouth to ask what you could possibly be doing but you shush him before he can say a word. Leaning against him, you ask permission to grab his hand and Hanta lets you guide his finger to the brightest star in the sky, hyperaware of every subtle shift, adjustment and breath you take behind him, clinging onto every passing moment.
"You see that star? The really really bright one right there and how it's brighter than the others?" you ask.
"Yeah... why.?" he questions, eager to hear what you have to say.
"Forgive me if this is too cheesy but it sorta reminds me of you," you say softly.
"Wh- I don't think a follow," Hanta replies and you give a short, breathy chuckle in response.
"Out of all the stars in the sky, you stick out to me to most. You're the brightest star," you murmur close to him, guiding his hand back down and you make your way to sit next to him. Hanta takes a moment to process what you said. Him? A star? He doesn't understand how you view him in such a way when there isn't much special about him in the first place... but he tries not to pay any mind to those thoughts as his eyes are glued to you sitting back down beside him.
"Pff, that was super cheesy," he snorts.
"Shut up, I'm trying my best," you grumble, "And... that's what I was really thinking about before you came," Hanta looks at you in awe, nothing but love and kindness filling his eyes as he gingerly grabs your hand, lifting it up level to his face.
"It's aright, doll, I was only teasing.. I think it's cute and~," he hums before placing a soft kiss on your knuckle, "I'm ok with cheesy," he concludes with a wink. Heat blooms on your cheeks at his action and you throw your head to the side, covering your mouth and cheek with your other hand in embarrassment. Hanta chuckles, just about ready to burst at how adorable you are and gets a sudden burst of confidence coursing through him from seeing your flustered form.
"Aw, don't get shy on me now, love," he coos, tugging your arm to usher you to look back at him. You look at him with a flustered scowl and Hanta isn't sure if you did it to intimidate him or what but all it did was make his heart scream for you more. His hand slides to your forearm and his other hand goes to grab your other arm, pulling it away from your face.
"Here, come here, baby," he murmurs, pulling your arms to guide you to his lap. You give little resistance as you follow Hanta's hands, shifting around to make yourself comfortable against him as you settle between his thighs. As soon as you got comfortable, Hanta's arms find their home around your waist, hugging you close and breathing you in. You sigh contently as your back rests against his strong chest, never feeling safer than you do right now in his arms.
"It's ok if I call you baby now, right..?" Hanta asks, not wanting to be too much at one time.
"Well, it would be if we were dating," you tease with a raised brow.
"Wha-?" Hanta looks at you confused for a moment before he realizes, "Oh! How could I forget," he chuckles softly, cupping your face in his large palm, guiding your face too look at him, his dark eyes practically engulfing you in his loving gaze.
"Would you care to be my partner..?" he purrs, voice dipping to a soft and low tone that sends goosebumps down your spine.
"W-well, when you put it like that how can I say no?" you mumble, not being able to help the heat rising up your neck, painting your cheeks pink once again from how small you feel under Hanta's enchanting gaze.
"So... is that a yes..?" Hanta inquires, hand still placed tenderly on our cheek. You nod your head against his palm, fingers caressing up and down his forearm as he holds you.
"Mhm, I would love nothing more," you reply in a soft and tender tone. Hanta melts at your words, feeling on top the world and like he can do anything. An uncontrollable smile erupts on his face, charming dimples ornamenting his cheeks as he hugs you tight to his body not wanting to ever let go.
You shuffle in his arms to turn yourself around in his lap. Now facing him, you tuck your face into the crook of Hanta's neck, wrapping your arms and legs snuggly around his torso. Hanta holds you equally as close, affectionately running his fingers up and down your back in complete bliss with you snuggling up to him.
"Can I kiss you..?" Hanta asks, voice just barely above a whisper. You lift your head up to look him in his deep eyes and you cup his face in your hand. Hanta leans into your touch, grabbing your hand on his face and guides it down just enough to plant a chaste kiss to the edge of your palm. You sigh and softly smile, nodding at the boy's question.
"Please kiss me," you murmur, leaning closer into his body. Hanta places his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you and a colliding your lips together. Though it was clumsy at first, you quickly adapt and your lips lock together like puzzle pieces. Tenderly, Hanta pulls away from you and rests his forehead against yours. The kiss you shared was short and sweet but still left the both of you breathless and yearning for more.
"May I kiss you again?" Hanta questions playfully and you giggle in response while nodding your head against him. He leans in, smiling against you as you mash lips with together, the both of you sighing into the other's mouth. This kiss a lot more confident than the last as Hanta takes the lead to explore every bit of you he can, taking note of every noise, movement and reaction you give. This time you pull away, surfacing for air from Hanta's intense hold on you.
"I can kiss you again, right?" Hanta asks again.
"How many more kisses do you want??" you giggle.
"That is a dangerous question to ask, my love," Hanta purrs into you, his breath ghosting your neck as he nuzzles his face underneath your jaw and lays a soft peck where his face lies, "I'd take all of them," he says, scanning your face for any discomfort but once he sees you're ok with him continuing, he lays another peck on your neck.
You laugh at the ticklish feeling, lacing your fingers through his dark hair as he continues showering you with short kisses.
"Let me know if I'm being too much, yeah?" kiss on your neck, "I don't wanna be too much," another kiss on the neck, "or overwhelm you," kiss on your jaw, "'cus that would be sad," kiss on the corner of your mouth.
"Hanta!" you squeal through giggles.
"I'm sorry, hun" kiss on your cheekbone, "I just can't resist," kiss on your cheek, "you have no idea," kiss on the chin, "just how long," kiss on the nose, "I've wanted," kiss on the eyelid "to do this," kiss on the brow, "And now," kiss on the temple, "I can't," kiss on the forehead, "Stop,"
Erupting with giggles, you desperately try to squirm away as Hanta continues to relentlessly shower you with kisses.
"No, no, no! Hanta!" you cry through your laughter, "No more!"
Giving you one last peck on the lips before pulling away, Hanta finally gives into your pleas and stops his assault of kisses. He presses his forehead against yours as you calm down from your laughing fit, pulling some giggles from Hanta as well because of your contagious laugh.
"I love you," you sigh once you've finally calmed down. Hanta hums in response, placing his hand on the back of your head, letting his fingers lace through your hair.
"I love you too," he says, heart feeling full and beaming with joy.
Forever and always~
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𝒇𝒊𝒏 . ✩
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[ lil easter egg of sorts for those of you who don't know~ in Japanese when you ask someone "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" or
『月が綺麗ですね』 // "tsuki ga kirei desu, ne?"
it's actually a very poetic way to confess your love to the person you're asking ]
[ I think it's literally so fucking cute 'cus i myself am deeply in love w/ the moon :) ]
[ if this were a thing in English and someone confessed to me this way, i would immediately demand for their hand in marriage >:| ]
[ god, japanese culture is so cool, i love it sm ]
ALSO- CAN WE NORMALISE ASKING SOMEONE OUT BY ASKING THEM TO BE YOUR PARTNER INSTEAD OF BF / GF????
"would you care to be my partner?" UHBIJNIJAHHHH LITERALLY SO ROMANTIC AND GENUINE HOLY SHIT- i'm making myself simp
RAAAHHHHHHH
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syubub · 3 years ago
Text
What makes BTS most vulnerable
Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!
I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.
Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!
So so so so
First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!
Let's start with the group first
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So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.
All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?
I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.
The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)
Seokjin
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This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.
As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.
As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.
What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)
Yoongi
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????
Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?
Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?
Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.
As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.
Hoseok
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This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.
And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.
This exposes him to depression and doubt.
Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.
Namjoon
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Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.
So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.
So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?
Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?
As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.
As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.
Jimin
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Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.
How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.
As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.
Taehyung
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Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.
As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.
Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.
Jungkook
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So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.
How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.
The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.
Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.
With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.
The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?
For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?
As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!
~~~~~~~
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I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?
My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!
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fandom-blackhole · 3 years ago
Note
Okay you have no idea how excited I was to see that you're open for requests! I love your Mando stories so could I please request my big boi Paz? I'd love to witness you do magic with prompts : 14 (bodyguard AU) and either 49 (fake marriage)/63 (mistaken for couple)/80 (green-eyed epiphany) *can you tell I couldn't decide* *I'm a Libra* *I do apologize*
Im honored that you love my mando fics and that you got excited about me opening requests 🥺💕Also, as a Sagittarius sun and moon, I relate on not being able to make decisions 😔, but I have a great idea for:
14. Bodyguard AU 
63. Mistaken for Couple
80. Green-Eyed Epiphany  
Pairing: Paz Vizsla x GN!Reader
Words: roughly 2k, woops
Send me some AUs/Tropes??
Note: So I just wanted to start this off with what I'm thinking about this mash-up, like whats going on and the situation. A little backstory/world building, if you will. So, im seeing this as after the tribe on Nervarro scatters after the fight with Grogu, Din, and the Stormtroopers. Paz is by himself and in need of work for credits, to both support himself and save up for when/if he is reunited with his tribe he can help rebuild and contribute. That leads him to a small midrim planet that is pretty divided. You are the head of the government, but there is a group of people who keep trying to kill you and harm your supporters because they want the "true ruler" to be in your place. Said "ruler" is part of a bloodline of radical tyrants that had been controlling the planet until around the same time the empire fell, their downfall resulting from being too involved with the empire. SO, the head of your defense team brings in Paz to protect you, because not only is he a big scary dude covered in big weaponry and armor, but also because you keep insisting that all the soldiers and guards should be protecting the people not you, so bringing in Paz was his little loophole. Now on to the story!
You were not happy with this arrangement, and you had told the head of your guard just as much. You didn't need a protector, it only showed your rivals that you were scared of what they were capable of, that they had the possibility to win this war they were waging. The man- the mandalorian that had been hired was unfazed by your indifference towards him, always just trailing silently behind you look just as menacing as mandalorians were said to be. It was easy to tell that he knew his way around a variety of weapons, it was easy to tell that he had been through battles and suffered their consequences. And it was easy to tell that this job seemed to be a bit boring for him. He didn't have any excitement, most days the mandalorian was stuck following you throughout the capital building, attending meetings that he could care less about, standing guard to your study as you paced around in thought. Nothing much happened, but as time went on and the war worsened and the threat of your rivals loomed over your head you started to notice that the mandalorian would do little things that shaved a little of your stress away, or would brighten you day if only a little. Little treats would show up on your desk, or cups of teas or caf just the way you liked them, walks through the garden would result in a vase of flowers- handpicked and cut with a sharp knife at an angle, delicately- placed in your room. The first time you broke down in front of him, the stress of loosing nearly an entire village not far from where you were to the grievous ways of your enemies broke you to the point of sobbing hysterically and the mandalorian surprised you with his gentleness, as he softly grabbed your arms and made you look up at him, his blue helmet staring down at you as he said, "You will get past this...you...you are a good leader, you care for your people more than yourself, and in the end, that is what will have you coming out on top."
After that night, something changed between the two of you. Instead of following behind you silently, you started walking beside the mandalorian, in meetings instead of letting him stand silently behind you, you started asking his opinions on the battles or if he had any suggestions to help combat. The two of you got closer, and you weren't sure when, but eventually you found yourself calling the mandalorian a friend, and you liked to believe he thought of you as one as well, he at least trusted you enough that he told you his name, which you only used in the private of your quarters or study during your late night talks. When you started to show signs of the stress becoming too much, or that you were nearing another breakdown, he would gently lead you away from whatever you had been doing. More times than not he lead you to the gardens and sat you down as he would tell you stories of his childhood or of his people and culture. One evening, he went as far as to set up a little spot for you to relax and eat a little snack with tea, to give you time away from everything, to give you a break from holding your home on your shoulders. It had been nice, and it helped you clear your thoughts, the gesture had you smiling fully for the first time in months, and it was one that was not quick to fade. As thanks, you had asked Paz what you could do, to which he only replied, "Seeing you smile is enough." So you did, you smiled at him and gently reached out and placed a kiss on the cheek of his helmet.
The smile Paz had gifted you stayed for a few days, your people noticed the happiness and it it seemed to affect all of them, each person growing their own little smiles. Melancholy still hung in the air, but you felt like you had the energy and will power to deal with it now. But as all good things must end, this happiness was ripped from you, when the head of your guard rushed into a meeting with the delegates of the planet, his face was crumpled in worry and he whispered apologies as he reluctantly handed over a letter addressed to you. Your heart pounding, you opened the letter only to freeze at the sight of a photo taken of the moment that had only radiated happiness until now, staring down you only saw yourself pressed close to Paz’s form with lips pressed against his helmet. The moment now felt tainted, and you felt sick to your stomach, the happiness that was shown in the picture gone, only replaced with pure terror. Glancing at the man stood before you, he took the picture and flipped it before handing it back with a somber look. On the back, in deep red ink and scratchy handwriting read:
Now, do you really think courting a mandalorian is going to protect you from your death by my hands? Ill make sure to kill him in front of you so you have to watch as he falls.
Yours loving,
The True King
You hadn't even realized you were shaking, nor breathing heavily, until a gloved had reached into very and took the note away from you. You watched as Paz looked the note over before passing it back to your head guard. He told him something, but you could not hear as your eyes started ringing. Gently Paz helped you stand, before leading you away from the meeting. You didn't care where he was taking you, at that moment you couldn't think straight, couldn't get past the thought of, how did they get so close to take a photo without anyone noticing?
After the letter had been delivered Paz took care to never leave your side, he became more overbearing and involved with planning your schedule. No longer were you allowed in the gardens, or outside for that matter, for the time being, Paz only really allowed you to go to your quarters, your study, and the meeting room. You didn't fight him, too tired from the lasting conflicts and worry over what would happen next. A month went by, and everything quieted, the attacks stopped, and it almost felt like your enemy had gone into hiding. You didn't relax though, the note still whispering in the back of your head. Paz found himself often sleeping in the chair beside your bed, after too many nights of having been awoken to you yelling out his name and finding you rushing to his room to reassure yourself that he was safe.
Then it happened. You knew the quiet was only leading to something, but you weren't prepared to be a woke in the middle of the night to Paz scream to you. It had been the first night you had been able to fall asleep and stay asleep without nightmares of Paz’s death, but you were only thrown into a different nightmare as your eyes few open and you saw Paz fighting off an attacker. You yelled for you to run, and as you hesitated he only growled your name and told you to go, so with a heavy heart you did, you ran. All around the capital you could seem fires burning and hear your guards fighting with silhouettes your tired eyes could not make out in the low light of night. You did not know where to go, only letting your feet carry you, only stopping when you were out of breath. Looking around, you found yourself in the garden, feet from where you gave Paz the soft kiss, the memory still churning out a small amount of happiness, but quickly turned sour once more when the grinning face of the man you loathed most in the world stood from the bench hidden in the shadows.
"My dear, I was hoping you'd come here. I know you are especially fond of the gardens, most certainly this area."
"What do you want Alun? Why wouldn't you stop this fighting? People, my people, our people are suffering!"
He scoffed and turned to look at the city burning around you both. "The people deserve what they are getting for forgetting their true leaders. And you for forgetting what you once were."
"Stop this. You are doing nothing but destroying the planet!"
Alun turned to look at you, small smile curling onto his hate filled face. Slowly he reached out and placed the rose he had picked behind your ear, the thorns pricking your skin, one digging in enough to make a drop of blood run down your ear.
"When I have control again, and we are again together, things will go back to the way they were. I promise you, love. You just need to stop fighting me."
Disgust formed on your face as you stepped back, "We may have been engaged before you fell, but I never loved you. I was forced into that position by you and your father, and I do not regret being apart of how he and you fell from grace. I will never stop fighting you."
"Oh, but I love you, and I will have you, my love."
"Not if I have any say," a voice growled from behind you. Whipping around, relief flooded you at the sight of Paz marching towards where you stood. He was covered in blood from fighting, but seemed like he was uninjured himself much to your relief. But he seemed angry, livid almost as he pushed you behind him, standing toe-to-toe with Alun. "If you want them, you will have to get through me, and I will not stop fighting until my dying breath for them," Paz’s words settled into your chest, warmth flowing through you as the next few second moved in slow motion. Paz reached out, before Alun even had a chance to grab for his weapon. Paz lifted him like a rag doll to his height, making direct eye contact, before growling out, "because I love them, and you will never have them."
And with that said, Paz simply slammed his forehead into Alun's forcefully knocking him unconscious, then carelessly dropping him to the ground where he laid unmoving buise already forming on his forehead. Paz then turned to you and reached for you, but you simply flung yourself onto him. "You're okay, i was so worried, I didn't want to leave you, I was so scared that something would happen and that Id...."
"That you'd, what cyare," Paz whispered as he held you close, arms wrapped around you as if he'd let go and you'd disappear. Looking up and into his helmet's visor you were quiet for a moment, before speaking up softly, "I love you too... I thought I'd never get to tell you that I loved you."
Gently, Paz pressed his forehead against your own, before whispering, "You don't have to worry. I'll always be around to protect you. And," a teasing note coming out in his voice making you smile, "You can tell me how much you love me anytime you want. As long as you don't have anymore previous fiancés out there professing their love to you. I don't think I could hold back from ripping off their heads like I did just now."
Giggling you shook your head, "No more love professions, I promise. Only yours matter."
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