#i also have some thoughts about pope's feelings for kie but they dont really have a place in this post i guess

[petrichor-idyllic]

Listen, I know that y'all are here for my TMR content, but at least one of you has asked me for an OBX piece and I'm going through a phase, so I thought I'd say my piece on this.

A think a main point of tension in the fan base atm the moment is Jiara (Kiara x JJ).

Now- I would like to clarify that I love the show, and I really like Kie as a character, and even though JJ is my favourite character, I'm not a delusional fangirl who dislikes their relationship because of that.

I, at the end of season 2, actually really liked them and thought they would make a cute couple.

But, as of season 3, I do not like them together.

Hear me out.

I, personally (as in this is my opinion pls dont shout at me), do not like them in season 3.

My main problem with the show and the relationships in the group is that it is incredibly heteronormative - which also increased with Cleo joining the group (I absolutely love Cleo she is an icon I have no problems with her). But like, a friend group with the same amount of boys and girls does not mean that everyone has to pair up. People can just be mates. And while the cast is obviously very diverse, which is brilliant we love to see it, there is not one slightly queer character in the show.

And, Madison Bailey, who plays Kiara, literally has a girlfriend in real life. Idk maybe I will just die on the headcanon hill that Kie is a lesbian because she is an interesting character and I do not care about the whole relationship drama between her and the boys.

Another point people keep arguing over is that Kie and JJ was forced.

And like, no, it wasn't- we've been seeing them subtly flirt for 2 seasons. It's been made obvious that JJ obviously has feelings for Kie; literally in the first episode. And, after season 2, it's clear Kie likes him too.

But, it does feel forced.

Like, it's established they like each other, but they've always liked each other and have gotten into the most horrendous situations without saying anything. So why now?

JJ feels normal - but Kie feels kinda out of character. Like, maybe she just had enough and couldn't hold back anymore, like, girl, I get you. But they used to have good, flirty but friendly energy, and it feels like the writers were forcing tension between them. Which is extra annoying cause it's at the expense of my boy Pope.

Also, just throwing it out there, the whole "I love you, dude" scene didn't even process as a love confession to me - it was only JJ's reaction that made me realise. I think it's because me and my mates say we love each other all the time and the "dude" made it feel like her just trying to convince him she cares over having genuinely strong feelings for him.

Though the Kitty Hawk rescue was peak from JJ and absolutely that I expected their romantic relationship to be- it's just everything before that.

And don't get me started on the time skip.

It's some really bizarre writing. Like, they make sense, but the way it all went down just doesn't make sense to me for some strange reason.

Idk how to explain it. It feels rushed, like whilst they've been friends for years, we didn't really see any progress or realisation from Kiara's side. Like, maybe a scene where she talks to Sarah about it and says she doesn't know what to do and she thinks she's starting to fall for JJ could've made it feel less... off. Something as simple of that could've really added to it in my opinion. Like, we didn't see Kie's feelings for JJ outside of their interactions with each other.

If that makes sense, I'm struggling to explain here.

I hope yall get me here lmao.

[hypermania]

Wait do you really think their doing jiara? I thought it was so ambiguous but I won't be surprised if they do

i do, unfortunately, and i agree that it was very ambiguous up until the last episode (maybe the last two—i've only watched it once so everything is kind of blurred together), and somehow, that makes it so much more disappointing haha.

see the thing is that i had zero expectations of jjpope actually happening. like, i figured that it would continue to be a fanon ship and as long as they didn't fuck up their friendship/dynamic, i was (am) fine with that. i don't need my ship to be canon, but one of the quickest ways to mess with that friendship would be to put jj and kie together (and that doesn't even touch on how it messes with the established dynamic between jj and kie, which i loved and is also going to be ruined, sadface) so i was equal parts dreading it and equal parts bracing myself for it.

but then... it didn't happen? and not only did it not happen, they split kie and pope up in a way that felt so authentic. i know a lot of people are upset because they feel like it was pointless to even pair them together in the first place if they were just going to break them up but it wasn't! it wasn't pointless! kie did have a story line this season and it wasn't about romance. it was about her place in the world and her trying to figure out how to be true to herself without hurting the people she cares about (in this case both pope and her parents). it's not about a boy, whichever boy that may be. it's about kie and who she wants to be and what she wants from her life and her future.

but, about her and pope: watching kie struggle with her feelings for pope felt exactly like that. it didn't once feel like she was struggling with the fact that she maybe had feelings for somebody else, regardless of who that might be. it was literally just whether or not she had feelings for pope. it came across like she desperately wanted to feel that way about him because it's pope! he's one of her best friends and he's a great guy and she loves him and how great would it be if she felt that way about him? but she doesn't and no matter how hard she tries and no matter how much she doesn't want to hurt him, she can't force herself to feel something she doesn't.

and like i said—no part of me really thought jjpope would ever be canon, but lesbian!kie has never felt quite as out of reach (and i've been lead to believe that the actress has hinted at that being her preference for the character on more than one occasion?). so, when kie started to not just be sort of lukewarm on her feelings for pope but actually have like mini meltdowns every time he touched her??? like the mere idea of their romantic relationship changed the very nature of any physical interaction between the two of them, even something as innocent as a comforting hand on the shoulder, which she's never had a problem with before? man, i felt so much hope!! like. that's not 'uh oh i think i'm in love with our other best friend' behavior. that's 'fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck there's something wrong with me' behavior. that's 'i'm gay' or even 'i'm asexual' behavior.

and holy crap how amazing would that story be???? how much more would it add to her struggle with her identity: her struggle to fit in at the kook academy where everyone is so uniformly and rigidly The Right Way, her fallout with sarah because they got too close, her parents' fears that she spends too much time with the boys and that she's getting too close to them, her wanting to get closer to the boys to prove something to herself maybe?, her pushing back so hard against the status quo of everything. i mean really just all of her rebellion and pushback would be so much more layered with the addition of her struggling with her sexuality. and watching her relationship with pope fall apart, it felt like that was a possibility! i mean, the conversation after they had sex???

kie: have you thought about it?

pope: uh, thought about what?

kie:

pope: oh! i mean... i mean, yeah, of course. i've thought about you like every day for a year, so yeah, i've definitely thought about it.

kie: i mean, it was perfect, right? like, the moonlight and the beach and the bonfire...

pope: yeah, it was a great night.

kie: like, there's nothing that could've made that more perfect.

pope: right? and the whole night leading up to that was just so much fun, you know?

kie: yeah.

pope: the beach. the stars..

kie: the setting was..

pope: it was nice.

kie: yeah. mhmm. so it should've been like... wow. but instead it was like, kind of... kind of weird, right?

gee i wonder what could've been wrong! like. that's just.. i don't know. this just doesn't have the vibes of 'maybe if i sleep with him i'll start to have feelings for him instead of the other guy.' this has the vibes of 'if i couldn't even enjoy it with him—the perfect guy...'

which is what made it so much more infuriating when all of a sudden toward the end she started to have heart eyes for jj????? why! where! when!

but i still foolishly held out hope because jj's behavior toward kiara didn't change, like at all. and i don't care what the ji/ara shippers say, homeboy was not interested in her in s1. like, obviously i do think he was interested in pope but i will readily admit that it was a happy accident and in no way intentional, but that doesn't negate the fact that he wasn't interested in kie, either. he made like one comment about her being hot, but he actively encouraged john b to go after her and was fine with the idea of them kissing.

you know what he wasn't fine about? kie giving pope a kiss good night, which is just.. i... it's... what... it's so innocent!! and it came on the heals of him first asking kie about what pope's like in bed and then making a sort of wistful comment about how amazing pope is when it seemed like kie was struggling with her feelings for him. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!

and again, did i actually think they were going to make jjpope canon? or hell, even make jj in unrequited love with pope? no, i did not. but watching that in conjunction with what was happening with kie, i did start to get the feeling that they were paying enough attention to the fandom to play it ambiguously down the middle where you could read it as jj being jealous of someone, dealer's choice on who. and, sure, in my opinion, everything that happened in s1 makes one conclusion far more sensical than the other, but i'm fine with the ambiguity! the ambiguity is fun, actually! i could happily live in the ambiguity forever! just don't ever give jj a love interest and always make him a little too invested in his friends' love lives. i'm sold! i love it!

but then kie started being a little more obvious. and then cleo showed back up and well, why not immediately glue her to pope's side? and then let's have jj almost die and kie lose it and when he finally wakes up, we'll have them look at each other like it means something (despite not spending any time actually establishing that it means anything at all). and then when the season's closing out and john b and sarah are making up and pairing off, let's have pope be the one to welcome cleo to the pogue life (despite the fact that she has a history with sarah, her girl!) and well now that we've paired pope off with someone else and he won't be the odd man out, that leaves room for...

sigh.

they got my hopes up so it hurt that much more when they went and did the inevitable. if they had just forced the heterosexuality down my throat from the beginning, that last episode wouldn't have felt like a slap in the face.

[loveylangdon]

If You Don’t I Will

Word count: 3.3k

JJ Maybank x Reader : showing jj subtle ways of how you care for him and John B is tired of him not seeing it

A/N: I wrote another JJ thing bc im a simp and I love him and this was also another idea thats been floating around. Fluff is you squint but you dont need to squint hard, next will def be angst bc I live for it Xx

 masterlist

*not my gif full credit to owner*

“Hey” you let out as you carry 2 bags of groceries into the cheateu seeing the boys lounging on the couch gathered around John B’s phone you hear a chorus of “hey’s” as you move towards the kitchen. John B looks up and hands his phone to JJ making his way out the front door sending you a wink. Rolling your eyes you follow John B outside to your car. 

“You didn’t have to,” John B says smiling at you grabbing a grocery bag from your trunk shooting you a look 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about” you smile innocently to him and make your way over to grab the last grocery bag. You reach past John B until you feel his arm wrap over your shoulder, putting his grocery bag down he wraps his other arm around your shoulder engulfing you in a full hug laying his cheek at the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his torso and give him a squeeze 

“Thank you really” he lets out into your hair. You just give him a hug, you haven’t known them for long but John B automatically became like your brother and JJ was definitely your confidant. When you heard about Big John and Uncle T leaving John B by himself, your heart broke. John B had to support himself and apparently JJ was a constant resident in the chateau and it got harder to support themselves even if they both pitched in. When you found out always being smart with your money you set some aside to help supply the chateau so the boys wouldn’t starve.

JJ broke down one night during a late night smoke sesh you two had to get away from everything. He ended up telling you about his dad and mom in its entirety. After that you guys were kind of inseparable.You told him about why you had to move to OBX and he told you where his bruises and split knuckles came from. You never would’ve guessed one of the most caring people you knew would have to go through that. After that you subtly did more little things that hopefully made it easier on him. 

When you joined the Pogues you fell for his blue eyes and wild personality instantly his careless but protective nature made you fall hard but there was the rule. No Pogue on Pogue macking. Still fairly new to obx barely being here for a year you didn’t know how real the rule was. Being extra nice to JJ consisted of bringing extra of his favorite beer or asking him to buy you joints even though you didn’t smoke often, you would let him keep them, noticing his favorite snacks and bringing them on boat trips. Kie gladly gave up the title of caretaker and let you take over the snacks and picnics for day trips. After JJ told you his secret he made it clear that he didn’t take pity or handouts, you didn’t pity JJ you loved him and just wanted to make sure he knew it. 

So you helped JJ whenever you could making it seem like you were doing it by pure coincidence, knowing that he lived with John B you helped out the house, in general, to make it less obvious. Claiming you all spent so much time there any way it wasn’t fair to not help stock the necessities. 

Breaking away from your thoughts “I’m here for you guys always” you squeeze John B once more after you feel him loosening his grip “Let’s go I got ice cream” as John B fist bumps you snort “Oh I also got a better first aid kit” handing John B the second bag you move to the passenger side of the car. Hearing John B go back into the house you grab the first aid kit and hear footsteps as you open the back seat door to grab blankets. 

“What are the blankets for,” JJ asks questionably moving over to you to help grab some and you see him eye the first aid kit before you tuck it into a blanket

“For movie night. You can’t have a horror movie night without tons of blankets JJ it’s like against the rules” You quickly come up with the excuse. In all honesty it was starting to get colder and knowing the Chateau has minimal heating capacity you were going to accidentally leave them in the house and let the boys use them. The last time you were here late you asked JJ to borrow a sweater or a blanket and he gave you the one he was wearing and soon realized it was probably the only one you’ve seen him wear ever. Noticing Kie always brought her own blanket you assumed they were more supplied for the warmer days. John B was a big boy he would ask for help when he needed it JJ, on the other hand, was stubborn as hell and would rather freeze then ask for anything to help. 

“Okay” JJ says questionably not believing you entirely but not questioning it further “Are you staying tonight?” He asks you can see a glimmer of hope in his ocean eyes as he leans against the car door

“Yeah I think so” you smile and nod at him closing the car up “Are you?”

“No I’m just asking you so you can share my bed with Kie” he deadpans and your cheeks flush 

“Sorry” you squint up at him and you see him smile his “sharky smile” “Are Pope and Kie staying too?” 

“I think so” he nods at you biting his lip and you know he wants to add something but doesn’t

“Can I share a bed with you?” You ask assuming that’s what he wanted to ask “if I have to share a room with both Pope and Kie I might jump off the end of the dock, plus I got those joints still and extra snacks” you chuckle out trying to bribe him like you even have to. You see relief and a cute smile grace his features and you know that’s what he was trying to ask without even asking 

“Yeah you can crash with me, I like you the most anyways” he winks at you and nods towards the house “Have you eaten yet?” He asks you softly as you walk up the driveway “Pope and John B went to help Heyward earlier while I went to work and apparently they ate already” JJ trails off and you frown knowing there hasn’t been food at the chateau in a couple of days and John B has been incognito

“I can make us food,” you say and he perks up “I haven’t eaten yet” you continue which is a lie but he doesn’t need to know that “I bought stuff to make that shrimp thing you were talking about the other day” and you see his face light up as you walk into the house you smile at him and you can see pink dust his cheeks at the fact you remembered that small detail. He puts the blankets down taking the ones in your hands as well and wraps you in a hug carrying you to the kitchen leaving you in a fit of laughter. You see Pope peek his head out over the freezer with raised eyebrows 

“What are you doing,” he asks confused as to why you’re wrapped in JJs arms 

“Get out Pope y/n is making our food” he throws a look at Pope as he sets you down making Pope return a hurt one 

“You guys suck” he huffs out going back into the living room 

JJ sits on the counter as you start to pull out ingredients to make his food, John B put the groceries away thankfully and you hum to a random tune 

“Thank you” JJ lets out in almost a whisper and you look up at him and see he’s playing with the rings on his fingers a nervous habit he has while looking at his lap not making eye contact 

“For what” you feign innocence even though his small thank you made your heart flutter knowing your efforts and little signs of affection didn’t go unnoticed by the blonde boy. Moving to the stove to heat it up JJ finally looks at you and he shrugs his shoulders softly before twiddling his thumbs in his lap

“For taking the time to care about me” he shrugs again like he’s not worth the effort, you go to say something and he cuts you off looking at you with his ocean eyes making you forget how to breathe for a second, sincerity is swimming through them and you can’t help the butterflies in your stomach “I know you had dinner with Kie already. She told me you guys were gonna eat at The Wreck during her break if I wanted to pass by before you went to run errands which I’m assuming was getting food for here” your face flushes at being caught lying about dinner “I also saw the first aid kit you bought, and Its a nice one. I almost stole one just like it from the pharmacy a while back and I know John B doesn’t need one that good” he goes back to looking at his thumbs “And I know the blankets aren’t just for the movie night” He shoots you a knowing look causing you to blush and smile at him, taking a moment in the comforting silence you assume the boys are outside messing around 

Humming you smile giddily not confirming or denying “Okay I’m gonna make you food now go away” you joke shooing him out of the kitchen 

He gasps in shock “You wound me” he clutches his chest with both his hands and falls back against the cabinets “Treating me how I treat Pope now that’s cold” He gets off of the counter still clutching his chest moving closer towards you 

“Leave” you squeal at him as he traps you in between his arms and the sink, he leans in and you think he’s going to finally kiss you, heart beating so fast you think he could hear it if he got any closer. His eyes flicker to your lips and back to your eyes as he licks his lips your breath hitches in your throat, he leans down to place a kiss on your cheek leaving the kitchen and going outside. Watching him retreat you finally let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jesus Christ” you huff and go back to making his food with a big smile on your face 

____

“Holy shit” JJ practically moans at the smell coming in from the kitchen “I can’t even think of the last home cooked meal I’ve had what about you John B” You hear JJ ask as him as they walk back into the Chateau,

“Uh I think-” John B starts but is cut off by JJ 

“That was rhetorical bro shut up” you hear them walk into the living room and see them come into the kitchen “we know you have a secret kook family chill” JJ lets out referring to the fact that John B disappears some nights and during the day and no one knows why. Causing a laugh to come from you and a scoff from John B

“That smells delicious y/n” John B lets out which earns a mean look from JJ 

“You can’t have any” JJ says defensively “she made it for me and her you guys are all traitors eating without us” JJ winks at you “what happened to Pogues together for life” JJ adds pointing a finger at John B as you try to stifle a laugh grabbing plates 

John B looks at JJ with the most unamused look you’ve ever seen which causes a burst of laughter from you. Catching John B’s attention he gives you a look as if asking if JJ is serious, you shrug your shoulders as John B scoffs “I welcome you into my home JJ and this is how you repay me” He tsks opening a beer for you and placing it on the counter by your plates, he gives you a side hug and places a kiss on your forehead before retreating outside to help Pope and Kie with a projector she found in her garage. As he walks through the living room you hear “Eat your food dumbass, and if you don’t marry her I will” John B shouts out and you immediately turn to look at John B who has his beer raised in the air “Salud” and he walks out of the Cheateu. 

Turning to JJ his face is beat red and you let out a small laugh as JJ groans mumbling something about murdering John B “Here eat tough guy I’m gonna grab blankets for outside” you say as you place a plate in front of JJ. You’re about to walk into John B’s room when you feel JJ grab your hand 

“Stay please” he lets out a smile while tugging on your wrist gently patting the spot next to him, you can tell he wants to say something again but you can’t tell what its gonna be because he’s looking down at his plate of food. Your foot starts tapping the floor a nervous tick you have when you can’t tell how something is gonna play out. His head snaps to your knee placing his hand there gently to stop it and he looks up at you “Don’t do that, not around me” he lets out looking at you 

“wha-”

“You do that when your nervous or unsure of a situation” he squeezes your knee in a comforting motion giving you a small smile at your confused expression, “You think you’re the only one who notices things around here” he shoots you a look and his eyes go wide trying to cover up his confession with a chuckle 

“Do you JJ Maybank have feelings for little old me” you shoot him an amused look with a gasp. He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out and he looks at you sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck while pink tints his cheeks 

“Hey, Lovebirds we got the movie set up come on” you hear John B yell from outside. You move to get up and JJ stops you looking up at you with a look of concentration before he exhales

“I like you y/n a lot actually and it’s scaring me. I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m not used to this or feeling wanted, hell even wanting to be around one person constantly is new for me. You are this incredible person who came out of fucking nowhere and the first thing you did was make sure everyone is taken care of. I didn’t even notice what you would do for me at first because I was so angry at everything. John B pointed it out to me when we found more of my favorite snacks in the cupboard than his” he let out a chuckle and you did too “He told me to stop being stupid and I realized then all the small things you would do for me like when I wouldn’t eat with you guys you brought food, or extra snacks on boat trips when you knew I was going home after, you and Kie would go shopping and you literally got me a hoodie because you told me it reminded you of me. No one has cared about me in the way you have and I’m so sorry for not realizing it sooner” you squeeze his hand gently reassuring him noticing his voice waiver “you’re so strong and stubborn but god if it didn’t make me fall for you harder, and I wasn’t gonna say anything because there is no way in hell that I’m good enough for you, I mean seriously I don’t know what you see-” cutting him off you place a kiss to his lips to shut him up, he places his hand on the side of your neck holding your jaw melting into the kiss. This is what heaven feels like you think. This blonde haired blue eyed prince. JJ breaks apart and rests his forehead against yours smiling like an idiot 

“I like you a lot actually too, if you couldn’t tell” you whisper out causing him to let out a laugh placing a chaste kiss to your lips, pulling you into his lap, your back to his chest as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck before you move to face him “Oh” you let out and he looks confused, you shoot him a look and he smirks. Hitting his chest playfully “get your head out of the gutter” 

“I know exactly where I would like my head to be” he smirks placing a kiss to your pulse. Rolling your eyes at him you start off “If I hear you talk bad about yourself I will fight you Maybank do you hear me” you look at him knowingly and he raised his eyebrows as if telling you to proceed “That is a fight you will lose every time. I can promise you,” you look at him softly “you deserve the world and all the love that comes with it, you care so much about your friends you’re willing to do anything to protect them literally anything” emphasizing the literally he lets out a chuckle “You are so kind, generous always giving even when you don’t have much yourself that’s what I love about you. There is more good than what you define yourself as and if you have doubts I will be more than glad to fight them with you” you let out rubbing your thumb on his cheek which he nuzzles into until he crashes his lips into yours again. 

“I thought you were eating, you haven’t even started are you kidding? YOU GUYS ARE MACKING we’ve been waiting for like 10 minutes” John B lets out from the doorway of the house raising his arms in a what the fuck motion, causing you both to laugh “J I’m proud of you for finally telling her, but Jesus come on guys the foods all cold, we don’t even have snacks because you’re distracting y/n, we’re dying out here” he fake whines 

“Sorry John B” you let out a smile knowing you usually prepare the snacks for movie nights but got distracted

“My girlfriend is not your Slave John B get your own snacks” JJ jokes holding onto you tighter

“Says the guy she made dinner for but hasn’t even touched it yet!” John B says dramatically “honestly the disrespect happening in this house, everything is all out of wack,” John B says going to the fridge and grabbing a case of beer and candy making his way back outside before he turns around heading back to you and JJ “Actually,” he says out loud before taking JJ’s plate with food taking a bite and moaning at the taste John B continues “I’m serious y/n if he doesn’t marry you I will” he gets out with a mouth full of food, moving slightly to avoid JJ arms that are trying to swat him for taking his food. John B walks out of the house leaving you two alone again 

“I’ll get you another plate, grab the blankets?” you ask chuckling as you move to get JJ another plate of food but he stops you. 

Taking his pinky ring off his finger he places it on your fingers trying to find the best fit, finally, it fits on your middle finger, a little loose but not by much, he chuckles “maybe I’ll get you a chain for it” he states chuckling he kisses your knuckles when he’s done “Not an engagement ring but a temporary promise ring until we get you a real one so John B can stop trying to steal you from me.”

“I think its perfect” He smiles bright placing a kiss on your lips and you know that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be

________

A/N: so I wrote another jj thing bc who is not a whore for jj especially soft jj. Roughly edited but not really, this has been floating in my head for a while so feedback and commentary is again always welcome my inbox is always open I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did Xx 

[jjmaybankstorys]

Hi could you do a jj x reader where the reader is toppers sister who just back go the island and the pogues never met her or heard about her except Sarah so when the reader comes back Sarah gets exited to see the reader then Sarah goes to Toppers house a lot to see the reader and the pogues are kinda confused/suspicious about it so they go to see why Sarah is always at Toppers house which they end up finding the reader and Sarah and jj is like wow/awe about her. :)

I know it sucks. It's not the best thing I've written but I hope you like it anyway

Also guys requests are always open, so just comment them HERE or text me xx

You've been so excited and happy all along that you can finally go back to the Outer Banks. After being away for a long time with your dad, you finally come home.

"Y/N" you hear someone call as you stand in front of your family's house. You turn around and see your brother holding up his arms.

"Topper" you yell and run towards him.

"God I missed you" he says and hugs you.

"I missed you too" you release the hug.

"How's it going? How's it going with Sarah?" You sit down on your suitcase.

"Yeah... we broke up" Topper scratches his head and looks to the side.

"What?" Your mouth is open in disbelief

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything... but go ask her" after that sentence you immediately walk off. Since the Cameron's house is not far away you walk. You and Sarah are like best friends. You knew each other before your brother got together with her, but you didn't really get to know each other until they were together.

You see Sarah standing in the garden and run to her. After a long, loud and joyful greeting, you finally ask her what's going on.

She tells you the whole story and your feelings towards your brother change a lot. How could he do such a thing? Your brother?

Whatever. The next few days are a little hard for you here in the Outer Banks, because you're kind of new here after so many years. So Sarah comes to visit you at home every day.

—————————

"John b you have it so bad for your girlfriend" says Jj

"yeah she literally owns you" says pope laughing

"Oh you don't have to laugh Pope, you're running after Kie yourself like an idiot" says Jj

"What about me?" calls Kiara from the kitchen to get some beers

"Okay listen, watch your steps when you get up kids, cause I'm about to drop some knowledge" Jj sits down on the porch with the two boys.

"Never run after a girl unless your goal is to hook up with her....and ONLY hook up with her. After that nothing matters." says Jj

"Yeah absolutely Jj you hit it on the head again" says Pope and rolls his eyes.

"Yeah I'm telling you you will never see me simping for a girl" says Jj and stands up.

"Of course Jj" says Kiara

"I'm gonna go get some food real quick" Jj says and walks off. After a few minutes he is back.

"Yo John b, what happened to Sarah the last couple of days?  Where did she go?" Asks Pope

"I have no idea" John b shrugs his shoulders. That's when jj comes running.

"Dude..."Jj props himself up on his thighs, out of breath.

"What is your girlfriend doing at Topper's house please?"

"Wait what?" Says Kiara

"Yeah... the last couple of days I've been surfing like always and I've always seen her walking in the direction of his house. I didn't think anything at first but just now she went inside..." says Jj

"No way" says John b

"Why would she do that Jj?" asks pope

"bro do i look like god?, i dont know man. I'm just telling you my observations" Jj laughs

"That doesn't make any sense" John b looks confused

"You sure it was Topper's house?" Kiara looks up at Jj

"Don't doubt my eagle eyes Kie" Jj sits down.

"Dude you can't just tell me something like that off the top of your head..." John b looks over

"Man what was I supposed to do? Just get a grip on your girlfriend" Jj smirks as Kiara pushes him off the chair.

"Not funny Jj...... okay guys I'll go there" John b gets up and walks to the bus. The others quickly follow him.

"Woah not so fast bro, we're coming with you" Jj gets on the bus.

Once there you walk to the front door. John b, already fully prepared to confront his girlfriend, bangs on the door. Sarah opens it.

"What the hell are you doing here Sarah?" John b just walks into the house and Sarah looks pretty perplexed.

"Babe this is not what you think it is..." she says when John b sees you.

"Who is that" John b looks over at Sarah.

"That's Y/N. She's Topper's sister and..." as Sarah tells the whole story Jj can't take his eyes off you.

He literally can't stop looking at you.

you go over to him and after greeting and hugging everyone, you want to hug JJ or rather say hello, but he doesn't really react.

"JJ" Kie snaps Jj out of his thoughts and he looks around confused.

"Oh um...yeah sorry...I'm Jj" he says and reaches out his hand to you.

"I'm Y/N, nice to meet you JJ" you say smiling.

"Wow...um, what a beautiful name,...for a pretty girl" he says

"Why thank you" you smile at the sight of the strange blonde boy who is obviously speechless.

"So what's a cute girl like you doing in Topper's house?" Jj asks smiling

"Jj are you-" says Kie.

"Yeah um... Sarah actually just told you, I'm Topper's sister." You say, giggling.

"Wait..what? Didn't know Topper's family had good genes too."

"Sorry Y/N he's not a fan of the whole kook thing" Sarah says to you.

"Well I'm a kook too according to that, aren't I" you smirk and look at Jj who doesn't know what to say.

"Well...basically you are...but you seem different from the others Y/N" Jj looks into your eyes as...Pope pulls Jj out by the arm.

"We'll be going then... have fun you two" Pope says and you walk out.

"Yo dude what the hell, let go of my arm" Jj slaps Pope arm away.

"So, JJ Maybank we will never see him simping for a girl, will we?" laughs Kiara as you head home.

"You seem different from the others" mimics john b

"Oh beautiful name.... for a pretty girl" adds Pope

"Yo guys shut up. I wasn't simping" says Jj annoyed

"Of course not" John b laughs

————————————————-

I really hope you liked it. Feel free to leave any comments or REQUESTS HERE if you have any.

You can find my MASTERLIST HERE.

[hollandsmushroom]

DON'T YOU SEE

JJ x Plus size reader

No fuxking clue how many words this is but here you go, my first fic in ages! I hope y'all enjoy.

Fluffy soft JJ is the whole plot really.

You laid on the HMS Pogue, an oversized shirt covering your body as everyone else swam around the boat. Your hands were pressed into the soft flesh of your abdomen, you felt the bit where your stomach stuck out where your bikini pressed too much into your chub. Your friends looked to be having an amazing time, and you wishes so much to join them, but there was a deepest fear of rejection and mockery for your body. The rest of the pogues had already seen you in a swim suit before but today felt different, when you woke up and looked in the mirror, it felt wrong, you felt bigger, misshapen, unattractive, simply, you felt wrong. JJ watched you from the water, his eyes scanning your still figure, admiring how your shirt feel across your breasts, tucking into your back roll, slipping down off your belly and ending at your thick thighs. God, your thighs, part of him wanted to bite the soft flesh of your inner thighs as you wrapped your legs around this head. He shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his head because he could feel himself growing hard.

"Y/n, you joining us?" JJ called, trying to distract from his smutty thoughts.

"Nah, not today, sorry JJ," you replied, rolling your head to the side to look at him as you spoke.

"Aw, come on, the waters great and it's so hot out you have to swim," Kie shouted as she splashed at John B and Pope who wrote annoying her.

"Y/n, if you dont come in I'm pulling you in," JJ spoke, swimming closer to the boat, "I'm serious"

You looked down at him, seeing the threat behind his eyes, you stood up, it was slightly painfull seeing as your sweaty thighs had stuck to the fiberglass of the boat. You sucked in a deep breath, tugging the shirt over your head, leaving you in just your high waisted bikini. JJs eyes widened, he let out a low whistle, mumbling 'damn'. Had it been most other days you wouldnt have caught the adoration in his voice but you would have taken his explitive as a compliment, but you weren't like you were most other days. Taking his words as mockery, tears pricked your eyes, you dove over him, entering the water just behind him and diving deeper and swimming underneath his legs and under the boat, gasping for breath when you came up on the other side. You laid in your back, ears under water as you caught your breath, what you couldn't hear was the group freaking out, especially JJ.

"Y/n should have come up by now" he spoke, spinning himself around in the water.

"Yeah, they should have," John B agreed looking down into the murky depths past his feet but seeing nothing.

"Y/N!" JJ called before diving down, looking to see if you had hit a rock or something but unable to find any sign of you.

You lifted your head out of the water, hearing your friends call out for you, and it clicked, something you hadn't realized in your fog of self loathing that you had dove into the water and then disappeared. They must be freaking out, you thought as you gripped the edge of the boat, kicking you legs as you hoisted yourself in, grabbing your shirt immediately to cover your body.

"Hey guys," you hollered, catching there attention as they all searched for you.

"Y/N, what the actual fuck, we thought you drowned" Pope yelled

"You scared the shit out of me," John B chimed in

"If you ever do some shit like that again you're dead to me, I was so worried" Kie added finally

JJ, as opposed to everyone else didnt say anything, just climbed into the boat and enveloped you in a hug. You flinched at the contact, not wanting anyone to feel how big you were.

"I thought you died," he whispered in your ear, and something in his voice broke when he spoke.

"Well I'm alive," you spoke, coldly, remembering what he said. He pulled back from the embrace, trying to look you in the eye, sensing that something was off.

"Yo, you good" he asked gently, still trying to catch your eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just remembered that my mom needed me home for something" it was a total lie, the only thing that your mom needed you to do was to stay the fuck out of her way.

"Oh, okay, guys we got to get Y/n home, they have something to do," JJ shouted to the rest of the group, even though he didnt really believe it.

The group was quick to return to shore, all piling into the twinkie to get you home. John B., Pope, and Kie all spent the way to your house chatting, but you stayed quiet, your hands fiddling in your lap, JJ was quiet too, watching you with concern and curiosity in his eyes, what was up with you? You never would have done the disappearing act earlier on any other day, you knew it would cause too much concern, he was also worried about your silence, you were often such a talkative and fun person.

"Sorry for cutting the fun short guys," you broke your silence as you stepped out of the van.

"Nah, it's fine, you didnt, cause ya know, the fun never ends," John B. smiled at you

"Plus, there is always time tonight, we could meet back up at the Chateau," Pope chimed in.

"Yeah, maybe," you smiled softly, thinking about how you didnt want to see anyone else today, just lay in bed. As you climbed the steps to your house someone caught your wrist making you turn around, your eyes meeting JJs. As soon as you saw him, you felt your heart melt a little, how gently his hand was on yours, but then you remembered what he said earlier. You pulled your wrist from his grasp, looking him dead in the eye.

"Yes, JJ?" You asked, a slight bitterness in your tone, causing him to step back.

"I-I just wanted to say goodbye," he said, scratching the back of his neck anxiously.

"Oh, bye" you said, opening the door and closing it quickly behind you, your back hitting the wood.

JJ stood there for a second, staring at the paint peeling off the door, feeling wounded at your coldness.

"Hey JJ, you comin?" Kie yelled at him from the Twinkie, snapping him out of it.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, jogging back down the steps.

You stayed in your room for hours, your phone buzzing on the night stand as you hid under the covers. The sun had set on the water, the sky still shining a faded orange and purple. You hadn't moved since you got home, just laid in bed and let your mind stop, the existence of your body disappearing beneath the covers.

Your cheeks were damp with tears, wiping them away as they feel was too much work. There was a light knock on your window, making you shoot up straight in bed, looking at the window pain, behind sat a very concerned looking JJ.

You got out of bed, lifting up the window and stepping aside so JJ could climb in, this was something he had done before, crash at your house if he was tired of John B. but didnt want to go home.

"Hey Y/n," he spoke softly, a rarity for JJ

"JJ, what are you doing here?" you hissed, still not wanting to be around anyone

"Well, you weren't answering your phone and you were acting really weird earlier so I, I got worried"

"Yeah, like you care" you snapped, still over reacting at his words earlier

"What the fuck is your deal," he bit back "I'm trying to be nice, to be a good friend, and maybe make you realize that I fucking like you but you keep shooting me down,"

"What?" you muttered

"Nevermind, I shouldn't be here," he said, making a move for the window.

"No, you cant like me," that caught his attention, he turned around, your face was confused, your brain clearly trying to put things together, "how could you like me when I look like this, I mean, you even mocked me this morning,"

"Wait, what? Mocking you? When, what? And why the fuck cant I like you, is there some rule somewhere written in fucking stone,"

"Yeah, you made a mocking cat call when I took off my shirt to swim,"

"You thought I was mocking you?" His brow furrowed "I wasnt mocking you, that was genuine, I was trying to get you to realize that I have a thing for you!"

"JJ why?"

"Why? Why what? Why do I like you? Are you serious? Have you seen yourself!"

"Yes, yes I fucking have and that's exactly why you cant like me," you yelled, a tear escaping your eye.

"What are you even saying, Y/n?"

"This" you gestured to your body "This is why you cant like me, I'm fat JJ, I jiggle and my thighs rub, I have back rolls, I-" JJ cut you off, grabbing your face in his hands, thumbing your cheeks softly as he pressed his lips to yours hastily. You melted into him, giving yourself to the kiss, as if something in you surrendered to his affection.

You both pulled away, gasping for breath, forehead leaning on each other.

"Y/n, I like you, and that's always been something I've had a hard time saying, but I do, I like how you stomach sticks out, and how thick your thighs are, sometimes I imagine myself between them," you pulled back, looking him dead in the eye and biting your lip. "Moving on, I like how your boobs aren't a handful, they are like 5 handfuls, and how soft your back rolls are, I like you, I like your body, so get that through your dumb head," he joked, tapping your skull causing you to giggle. He pushed you down onto the bed, him landing softly on top of you. "Now that's out of the way, will you please just be mine, Y/n?"

"Yeah, JJ, I'll be yours, happily," his face broke into a smile as he ran his hands up and down your sides, leaning down and mashing his lips with yours.

[mikeshanlon]

okay now halfway done with obx s2 so here are some thoughts on 2.01-2.05

quite honestly i love sarah cameron sm oh my god she is such an icon and does not deserve any of this bullshit she’s gone through

cleo was very much fun and gorgeous and her and sarah were fruity <3 i hope we see her again

john b and sarah getting “married” well.... okay. the bandana thing was cute though

ik y’all are gonna gif that scene of jj at the jail in 2.05 a billion times i’ve accepted that and you know what i get it. speaking of i literally could cry at how this season seems 35435345 times easier to color. ty god.

the pogues reuniting... truly iconic wish they could actually be happy for longer than 15 minutes :/

love love love that pope is getting a more central plotline and JD is killing it

i hate that weirdo white lady who’s obsessed with slaves and basically was gonna kidnap pope like her slave i mean what the the fuck was that?!?!?!??!

with love kie and pope you are better as friends please stop <3

rafe is SO sick and twisted literally i dont see how anyone can stan him rn like drew’s performance is entertaining and interesting but to actually genuinely like and root for someone who has tried to murder like so many people at this point including sarah twice.......... nuh uh

i really.... the jjpope during the pogue party now what was that... .what was that for.......... pope why did u do that if you are not into him......... also jj asking what pope is like in bed now. why. lets unpack this . 

and also the kiarah... love them sm

john b going through so much?@?@?@ bro why the fuck is he 17 and facing the death penalty what the HELL?!?!! on a lighter note i think the ‘no shirt no shoes no problemo’ and ‘what’s crackin’ lobster shirt with those board shorts maybe one of thee most iconic outfits. king. 

kiara.... ugh i feel for her man. definitely being kinda fucked up to her parents but she’s got a lot going on. it hurts that shes coping in ways that are not that healthy but she also needs to like. end shit with pope bc obviously it’s not working. also i love her just being like ward you murdered people every time she sees him bc u know what he did! dont let him forget that!

speaking of parents so much is going on.. sarah and ward’s relationship hurts sm. i love that pope and his dad are doing okay even though it’s complicated. jj’s dad in jail..... ruh roh..... 

have i not gotten a lot of john b/kie yes... i will continue to be delusional though! for why else did john b seem annoyed abt pope and kie... kiara being so affected about all this no yeah. jj is my john b/kie truther asking how pope compares to him that’s my stoner ally right there!

seeing sbi swarm ward maybe one of the most satisfying things ever i’m sure it will go to shit but i will hold onto this!!!!!!!

[p0gue420]

!Too Young To Feel Numb! (Kie x Reader)

ATTENTION!! There are a lot of trigger warnings in this one! Including: drinking, drugs, talks of feeling alone, depression.

Summary: Y/n started smoking weed at the age of 8, It’s all she’d known; She grew up around it so it was normal for her to start super young, she told herself that’s the farthest she’d go...only smoking weed..never any hard drugs. She thought she could learn from her parent's mistakes, guess not. 

pairing: Kie x female!reader, Rafe x Platonic! reader, JJ x Sister figure! reader

Warnings: Substance abuse, depression, suicidal thoughts, marijuana Underage drinking,(reader is 15),

A/N: Alot of grammar errors because i dont feel like checking it so sorry....not really,hehe

---------

I use to think people were crazy for even thinking about doing anything harder than weed. Yeah...I was like 7 so it doesn’t count.”Yo you gonna babysit that shit or pass it, I mean...I have all day but  would love to do something besides wait for you to pass the blunt.” I rolled my eyes waiting for JJ to hand it to me.”Chill, what’s up your ass today?”

He finally passes it, after what felt like hours. I take a long hit before seeing he’s actually wanting me to answer his question.”Nothin. man, I’ve just got places to be.” I mumbled out hoping he wouldn’t start asking any further questions. He stares blankly awaiting me to pass it back, knowing I don’t share my feelings so he simply lays off. “Hey. You trynna go surfing today….whenever you’re done with your….things..?”

“Uhh, yeah text me and-” I’m cut off by the sound of my phone vibrating...Barry.

Barry:

Meet in twenty? I got extra today

I look up from my phone stuttering my words, and fumbling.“Uhm, I gotta go do something, but I’ll text you later to surf, yeah?” I say nodding towards JJ as I began walking out.”Uhm yea sure, hey-” I was already out the door.”-be safe.” he muttered to himself left wondering why I left so fast. On the way to my bike, I ran into Kie and Pope laughing about something before Kie began to make her way over towards me.

“Hey, Y/n! Heading out so fast, are we?”Kie pouted her lip out mimicking a whimpering sound.” heh, yeah sorry bub. I gotta go handle some things and I’ll be back later.” I peck her lips in a swift movement as well as pull up the front of her crop top, covering her exposed cleavage.”Those are my love,keep them covered” I wink at her. She laughs and heads inside after blowing me a kiss,that I catch and pretend to place in my heart..Wow im so whipped.

My thoughts cut off by a loud vibrating noise.

Barry:

You coming?

Read: 46 sec.ago

Me:

Omw now!

Read: just now

I hop on my bike heading over to Barry’s place knowing a shortcut I found a few days ago.

It only takes 10 minutes before i’m in front of his house walking up the steps of the porch.My clean oxygen is immediately replaced by the smell of cigarettes,weed,and...Is that burnt hair?I scrunch my face in disgust at the awful smells.”Aye look who it is!” Barry calls out after seeing my face, He’s standing beside..Rafe cameron.

Now...I’m not friends with Rafe but i also don’t exactly despise him.I babysat wheezie all summer last year,most the time he’d join..keep me company;I don’t think he knew i was with Kie but he’s not all bad.He’s helped me more times than I can count,only because i've done the same for him though.

“Yo waddup.I didn’t expect to see you here.” I share a short handshake with Barry and side hug Rafe,he seems unprepared for it so he stumbles a bit but eventually hugs back quickly.”uh yeah.just doing some..business” Rafe says avoiding eye contact,looking everywhere except my face.”anyway i'm gonna head out, i'll catch you guys later.” Rafe walks towards,im guessing his bike;I head inside following barry so i didn’t really catch what he drove in.

“So like I said I've got your usual ,and then I got a little extra something I thought you may like.”He continues on but I'm so wrapped up in the fact that I want to consume something soon,anything;I don’t know exactly what he's saying.”Sound good?” He asked “Uh what?sorry I zoned out a bit.”I shook my head pushing my long hair out of my eyes.”Look,Usually altogether this would be alot of money but considering I stole the pills,I'll spare you the oxy,wadda yuh say?”, “Yeah sure,80$?”

He nods his head holding his hand out as i hand him the money.He hands you a bag full of coke in a plastic baggy, along with the pills in its original container it was prescribed. “Ight,thanks man.Ill see you later next week!” I wave goodbye as I show myself out, shoving the ‘things’ I had bought into my bag and swinging it back on my back.

~Incoming call from:Bubbs<3

I instantly pick up not wanting to worry her.

I instantly hear the boys laughing and playing in the background,but wait for her to say something.”Hey baby, you heading back yet?” Kie questioned sounding bored of the childish boys we spend our time with.”Not yet,i promise im almost done,ask the boys if there's drinks at the chateau please.”She turns her head away from the boys asking what there is to drink besides sink water.

I hear a chorus of “We just stocked up”,”All good momma bird.” and other sayings coming from the overly hyper boys.”Did you hear that,or need me to repeat?” She hesitantly says, making sure I’m still listening ”Gotcha,I'm headed your way now,see you there” I say quickly hanging up without giving her time to respond.

I hop on my bike and drive towards…...the opposite of the chateau,instead deciding to go to the Camerons.I drive,stuck in thought of what ill do when i get there,not quite sure why i decided to come.I had been so lost in thought I didn’t realise I was suddenly at the Cameron residence. I park my bike and began walking up to the door,but before I can knock,Rafe walks up behind me.

“Y/n?” I swiftly turn around being scared for a minute before realizing who it was.”Oh!uhm. yeah...hey” I ‘smoothly’ say”what are you doing here?” he asks..The whole conversation was a blur and before I knew it I was walking up to his room to hang out.I sit on the bed laying back asking about what he wants to do.”I don't know,you came here,what'd you have in mind?” He asked curiously.”I'm not sure.” I snorted at my inability to maintain a conversation.

I dig into my bag as he starts up about how he broke his bed frame the other day, because he put too many boxes on the bed while getting rid of some old things. I finally found what I was looking for,the baggy of white powder.I lifted it up smiling widely.”Can I do this here or no?”I question,feeling my body begin to sweat at the thought of getting to snort the white powder.

“Uh,I mean.. yea sure,didn't know you did that kind of thing.. but I mean go ahead.” He rambles. He stares into space as I do a few lines, my eyes opening wide at the sensation of sudden adrenaline;I look over to see him trying not to stare.”Oh my bad,You want some?” I ask holding up the dollar folded into a cylinder shape , gesturing to the lines of coke spread on the dresser.

---

Hours go by,giggling,cracking jokes with rafe as well as doing oxy and maybe overdoing it with the coke seeing as the bag was almost gone.Rafe hasn't done much.I on the other hand was feeling VERY shaky and everything was just so hilarious..until it wasnt.My high started to get bad and overall scary.I must've did too much in such a limited amount of time.I look at my phone .

17 missed calls from Bubbs<3

8 missed calls from John B:)

9 missed calls from Popey boi

11 missed calls from JJ

Incoming call from Bubbs<3

“He-h-hello ,hi,hey.”

“DON'T ‘HI’ ME!” Kie instantly began screaming into the phone making me move my face away from it as Rafe looked at me with a worried expression on his face.

“Y/n,Where have you been! I’ve been so worried! I’ve-” I Blanked out again not in the mood to be yelled at.”Yeah,hey I nee-need,will-can youcomeandpickme up” I say jumbling all my words together. “Are you okay?Why are you talking like that?''She ask worried about my state of mind.

“Yeah am- I fine,Yes” I say yet again struggling to sound normal. I guess I was on speaker because JJ immediately began yelling into the phone asking about where I was.”Rafes house” Rafe sat silently waiting for them to break out into hysterics about me being with him.The phone went silent for a moment before the call ended.”So does that mean they not-....Vodka” was all i said before heading downstairs Rafe was sober enough to be able to notice what i was doing.I quickly went downstair searching through the freezer.

“Yessss.”I exclaimed before chugging the vodka.”Rafe continuously asking me to give him the bottle.I chugg at least half the pint bottle before having to give it up because Sarah comes down the stairs.”Y/n what're you doing here?” She asks excitedly until she saw me tripping over my own feet walking towards her,”Woah!” she caught me just before I hit the floor.

She turned to the door hearing someone pull up.Kie.”Rafe what did you do to her?” Sarah asked, holding me up scared of how out of it I was.”SHE BROUGHT COKE HERE,i did a bit with her, but she did A LOT. I legit did nothing this time I swear on everything!”He trailed back up the stairs not caring about the situation now that Sarah was there to take care of you. 

I began to sweat, tears running down my face. scared of what's happening to me.John b and Kie rush through the front doors asking where I am.”IN HERE GUYS!” Sarah screamed for them to hear her.My eyes rolling to the back of my head as I went in and out of consciousness.

“BABYYYY!!!” i exclaimed making grabby hands at Kie as i started crying harder

Sarah helped me stand up shakingly as I tried to walk to my girlfriend,She came running towards me with a concerned look on her face. She grabs my face pecking my lips,”Bub. I need you to listen to me, okay?” I nodd in awe of the gorgeous girl in front of me.”John B is gonna take you to the van,we need you to tell us everything you took to get in this state, okay?” I drowsily  nodded,growing tired.

Just as she said,the tall boy picked me up bridal style carrying me out to the twinkie.

I take notice to seating arrangement so i can close my eyes and know whos talking ,JJ being in the passenger seat,Pope watching From the bench behind the driver's seat.Kie stepped up into the van sitting on the floor of the vehicle waiting for John B to place me down beside her.As he did I sat up enough to lean my back against her chest.

JJ was surprisingly silent.Too silent.Pope looked so worried at my sweating body and dripping wet hair from  sweat,tears,and vodka mixture.”Okay,Y/n,What did you take?” my girlfriend sits grabbing my face turning me to face her, my legs straddling her thighs on the floor as I nuzzle my head into the crook of her neck,but she pushes my head up making me pout but not being able to maintain due to the dizziness. “I took a few oxy,uhm when I -then i did a few lines of coke,and…..i chugged half a pint of vodka..” i said tears filling my eyes trying to not look into anyone's eyes,

Silent JJ was no more .”Are you fucking kidding me.Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n.You’re not supposed to take oxy and drink alcohol together.much less do oxy or coke at all.ARE YOU DUMB!” JJ began turning around. A Quiet ‘im sorry’ came from my mouth.John B finally pulled into the chateau.

Kie carried me while my face stayed nuzzled in her neck still crying due to my,still,VERY high state.she sat me down on the couch out on the porch as everyone except her,went to get a few things.Pope came back with water and a wet rag to place on my head.JJ brought a blanket,John B came back empty handed because he only went inside to pee.

“Kie?” I whispered scared she was mad.”Yes baby?” 

“Are you mad at me?” I questioned hiding my face in her shoulder due to the amount of dizziness being insured. She leaned her head on mine with an unknown amount of emotions,not quite sure of how to fully answer. “No I- I just don’t know what you were thinking I just- Well I figured you wouldn’t ever do anything like this considering what we talked about-and -and what you went through with your parents..” 

“I know-I wanted to feel better tho..I just feel like i have no one-”

Shortly realising the guys were still in on the conversation as Pope cut in.

“Y/n, you have,and always will have us..” I lift my head from the girls shoulder  before slowly looking at Pope in his sad worried eyes.

“I guess, I like-I dont know guys what you want me to say..Im trying to be better for myself for everybody,but nothing was working and i ran into barry one day and we talked and he offered a way to help,of course i was hesitant but its really not that bad...Im actually fine!” I said standing up as John b followed me.

“y/n, you were just saying you need help,so what the fuck are we supposed to do ,one minute you need help and having to be ushered here so you dont die! And-and-the next thing you’re yelling at us about how your fine,you’re not fine and you know it!” I stopped as I watched the long haired boy fight back tears trying to explain how all of them feel.

“Fuck you guys honestly,Im not a child i know how i feel,this is all just bullshit!” I yelled at them all, I ran to the spare bedroom covered in sweat,tears,and vodka; I slowly sink into the bed as tears fall down my face crying myself to sleep,what i didn’t know was that my bestfriend’s and girlfriend were all huddled up outside the door awaiting me to fall asleep so that they could come in and cuddle me to make me feel better.Sometimes things get better, but i dont think this is one of those times atleast for now anyway..

[in-my-jamiebower-era]

Adore you. Rafe Cameron.

Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: You’re a pouge and Rafe is a Kook. This relationship will never work, that’s why you hide it.

Warnings: A few curse words, implied smut, and probably grammatical errors.

Words: 4,500 on the dot!

A/N: Hey you guys! Sorry this took so long to post, I had to deal with a few personal things. All of you are incredible!! Y’all are so sweet!💕 If anyone has constructive criticisms or requests please don’t hesitate to message me. Also do you guys thing I should write for anyone else? Just message me what you think. I’m so glad y’all like my fics! Thank you for all the likes and comments!💓 Don’t forgot to TPWK!!😌🥺 (Dont hesitate to message me if you need to talk, I’m here for you!)😘

You’re a pogue. You live on the cut. You work at the wreck. You hang out with John b, JJ, Kiara, Pope, and Sarah. Although Kiara was your best friend. You had known her the longest. Pogues and Kooks aren’t supposed to be friends, much less associate with each other. Although, Kie and Sarah were different. They both proved they weren’t snobs and they definitely knew how to have a good time.

You really didn’t go to Kie’s house a lot but you did go to the Cameron’s sometimes. Sarah insisted that you and Kie came over today to help her pick out a hairstyle for midsummers. They both were Kooks so of course they were going, but you were a Pouge. That meant you’d either be working the event or not going at all.

All three of you were up in Sarah’s room talking of various hairstyles and makeup plans. They both weren’t excited about the event but to tell the truth that’s all you had dreamt of since a little kid. All you wanted was to be invited to that party, wear a nice dress, and dance as though you would never again. You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard Kie and Sarah bickering on which flower crown to wear. That’s when you said, “Hey guys I’m going to go get something to drink from downstairs, I’ll be right back.” They both nodded and went back to dealing with the crown.

As you were grabbing a can of cherry coke your hand slipped from wetness and dropped it. Then out of nowhere appeared Mr. Rafe Cameron. He grabbed it for you and said “next time try to be more careful” then he gave you a cocky wink. You blushed at his comment. He could obviously see the effect he had on you so he said “you’re adorable when you blush.” He definitely knew how to get you going. So you lent over and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He then deepened the kiss.

Walk-in your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind

I get so lost inside your eyes

Would you believe it?

The truth is you and Rafe had been secretly dating for 6 months. You both knew how your friends would feel about it so you decided to keep it to yourself. Thing is you saw something different in Rafe. You weren’t exactly sure when you started crushing on him. Maybe it was when you would see him coming out of the water, glistening. Maybe it was when you found him one night I’m a rage and helped calm him down.

Just so happened one night at a boneyard party Rafe found you all alone sitting on a log, watching the stars. You remember the conversation so vividly “hey y/n what are you doing out here all alone?” You glumly replied, “Oh you know just living it up.” The conversation went on for a while until there was a comfortable silence. Although you believe that comfortable silence was so overrated.

You really weren’t the type to be brave and do something so daring, but at the moment it just felt right. You all of the sudden grabbed him from the back of his neck and attached your lips to his.

“Shit, Rafe I’m so sorry. It’s just I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system or it just feels right. I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I hope this doesn’t make anything weird. I know you look at me like a Pouge. I thought maybe if I did it you would feel the same way. I know it’s completely stupid and I’m so sorry.” He had a little smile playing on his lips. Then he replied, “just shut up and kiss me again.”

It felt like electricity coursing through your veins. It felt like butterflies were swarming your stomach. He grabbed around your waist to pull you in more. You gently tugged at the end of the hair, which in response he let out an almost silent moan.

When you both pulled away, you were panting, instantly want more. “So I can’t help but noticed that you kissed me back. Does that mean you feel the same way about me?” He was trying to catch his breath. He finally was able to say “I’ve felt the same way since that day you comforted me after my dad was on my case.” You were incredibly happy but at the same time wondered why hadn’t he just said something.

“Y/N, your eyes are beautiful. Every time I see them I get so lost in them.” You started to blush with butterflies forming in your stomach, once again. He lifted his thumb to his lip and gently wiped “strawberry lipstick, you should wear it more often. So every time I kiss you, it will taste this sweet.”

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

You were immediately startled when Sarah came into the kitchen. How long had you been thinking about that night at the boneyard? Suddenly she ran and gave you the biggest hug with Kie right behind her. They both were screaming nonsense. “SARAH CAMERON AND KIARRA CARRERA, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT!!?” They both looked at you with wide grins and Kie said “How would you like to go to midsummers with me.”

You couldn’t trust your voice, so you started nodding profusely. You all started screaming practically bursting your own eardrums. Wait. Rafe. You quickly glanced around to see him sitting there with the biggest smirk on his face. You couldn’t tell what it was for but you knew he was excited for you.

They both half screamed and half cried about going shopping. Seeing as though midsummers was in a few days. “Come on Y/N, now it’s time we pick out your hairstyle.” Oh God, you were not prepared for this. You told the girls you would head up in a second.

As soon as they left, Rafe was at your side. He held you in a tight hug that let you know he was very excited for you. You couldn’t help feeling a little bit sad that you weren’t going to midsummers with Rafe but you weren’t going to complain. “Y/N, I’m really happy for you baby. I know you’re going to be absolutely gorgeous, per usual.” You knew Rafe could read you like a book so he could sense a little disappointment from you.

“Listen to me Y/N, I know that it’s hard with me being a Kook and you being a Pogue. I know people say that the two sides shouldn’t be together but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I would never force you into anything you didn’t want to do. At any moment you could leave me. I know that I’m not as good as you. You don’t have to say anything, I just want you to know that you mean more than you will ever know to me.”

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You kissed him on the nose. “Rafe, I care for you so much, and I feel the same way about you. I’m not going to leave you, baby, I-“ You were then interrupted by Sarah screaming your name. “I’m coming SARAH!” You kissed him in his forehead and told him it was going to be okay, and with that, you went up to the middle Cameron’s room.

Kie had a curling iron in her hair and told you to sit down. “So Y/N, I think we should go shopping later tonight because midsummers are tomorrow.” WHAT? You had thought it was in a few days, not tomorrow. You quickly replied “What are we doing just sitting here, there’s no time to do hair. I need a dress!!” You definitely had some money from working at the wreck. You knew you would need it for something special, this was definitely that occasion.

You slipped on your brown and navy sandals, screaming a Kie and Sarah to hurry the hell up. Rafe was on the couch scrolling through his phone, when he saw you he shot you a wink. Sarah and Kie grabbed their things and you all were out the door.

When you arrived at the first store it looked so surreal. There were diamonds and pearls everywhere. In the corners, there were long luxurious dresses. Nothing really stuck out to you but it was smart to try on dresses to get an idea of what you want. By the 5th store, you all were exhausted but Sarah insisted you tried on a long red dress with a slit on the left. When you zipped it up, you turned around and saw yourself in the dress. You were beautiful. You stepped out for the girl to see and they were ecstatic. That was the one.

On your way home you guys saw a thin red flower crown with a hint of green. You decided you would borrow Sarah’s gold heels. The outfit you picked was beautiful and you silently cheered knowing Rafe would see you.

You remember the first time you and Rafe almost got caught with each other. Rafe had texted you and told you to sneak over through his window. You had successfully made it but he had an unexpected visit from Kelce. So you hid in his closet trying to be as silent as possible while Kelce talked about some girl he fucked. At that moment you wished you were anywhere but there. When he finally left, after what felt like hours you just wanted to cuddle.

You laid on his chest, while he rubbed small circles on your back. Then he went into a rant of “he wouldn’t care if you guys got caught” and “he would walk through hell just to be with you” or “I adore you so much, baby girl.” You knew he was saying this because you had to hide in a closet for hours. You kissed his nose and said, “baby it’s fine, I made it out alive.”

Your wonder under summer skies

Brown skin and lemon over ice

Would you believe it?

When you, Sarah, and Kie arrived at the Cameron’s you guys were exhausted. Kie took off and said his parents needed her home. Then it was your turn to depart “by Sarah, I’ll see you tomorrow at MIDSUMMERS.” She elbowed you in the stomach. As you were walking out the door Rafe came out of nowhere and offered you a ride home. You gave him a confused look but agreed. Sarah of course thought nothing of it.

When you guys got in the car you said “Rafe, what if Sarah found out.” You knew that she probably hadn’t but it still crossed your mind. You were so deep in thought about everything that happened today, you didn’t realize the car had stopped. Wait...this wasn’t your house. “Rafe, what are we doing at the beach?” He grabbed your hand and happily said “thought we could spend some time together.” God, he was absolutely adorable.

As you ran out of the car to a place that looked secluded, Rafe let the moment sink in. You were really his. You looked beautiful under the sunset of the summer sky. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky or why he was blessed with you. His thoughts were soon gone when you screamed “HURRY UP RAFE, YOU’RE SO SLOW.”

You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you something

Lately, you've been on my mind

When he finally found his way to the rock you were sitting on he said “Y/N, I need to talk to you about something.” He thought this was the perfect opportunity to pull a little prank on you. You looked at him with adoration in your eyes then suddenly they turned dark when he said the words “I’m back on coke, I relapsed.” You thought he was joking at first but this is something you guys don’t joke about.

Before you and Rafe were dating you knew he did coke. You knew that it was a daily occurrence. Everyone could see it destroying his life. It mentally hurt you to see him like that so one day you told him to decide between you and coke. That day he stopped, he’s been sober for 4 months. You told him if he ever went back to coke you were leaving him because it took a toll on you. It depressed you to see him like that all the time. All of a sudden your ears were ringing, you started to see red.

You started to talk then paused to keep composure. “Did you do it willingly?” He responded with “I’ve been doing it for a while, I’ve been visiting Barry and getting it from him. He was laughing so hard on the inside while your heart was breaking. You started to cry and sob because you knew he had just ruined the relationship. “Y/N! IM KIDDING, THIS WAS PRANK.”

You looked him in the eyes and replied “You’re disgusting, Rafe Cameron.” You hurriedly got your bags from his car and started walking to your parent's home.

“Y/N, please. Wait. I just wanted to play a little joke on you. I didn’t mean any harm.” You were relieved it was a prank but you were furious. It had caused you so much pain before. You didn’t want to see him or talk to him. “Rafe if you care about me, you will leave me the hell alone this instant. With that, he drove away. He fucked up bad and he knew it.

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You went home and furiously slammed the door to your room and started sobbing. How could he pull a joke on you like that? Maybe you were overreacting a little but when he was on coke it killed you on the inside. You had seen your boyfriend slowly killing himself. Even if I was just an innocent little prank it still brought back memories. These memories were the ones you wish you could forget.

Your phone started buzzing in your pocket. You knew who it was but you couldn’t talk to him, not right now. You sent it to voicemail and he called back 1...2..3..4..5..6 times. You just decided to shut off your phone and take a shower. When the heat of the shower hit your back it instantly soothed you. You took about 30 mins just to relax, then you got out and did your nightly routine. You curled up in your bed and finally turned your phone back on.

You were in shock there were tons of missed calls and texts from Rafe. There were only a few texts from the rest of the Pogue group chat. When you went to Sarah’s messages it said “hey, did something happen with you and Rafe because he’s been a crying mess since he got home.” You instantly replied, “nothing I can think of.” It hurt you that you made him feel that way but it wasn’t your fault. He really hit a memory inside that you wished to forget. You decided it was best to call him back.

You called and the phone rang for half a second before he was on the line. Y/N? His voice cracked, he sounded like he had been crying for hours. “Yeah, Rafe it’s me.” You could hear him exhale on the other side of the phone in relief.

“Listen, baby, I’m so sorry for pulling that stupid joke on you. I really didn’t mean any harm. I know that something that I’m not supposed to joke about and I don’t know why I did it. I know the mental toll it took and you. I felt so bad knowing that you were at home sobbing your heart out and I couldn’t hold you. Y/N, please I would do anything to make you stop hurting. Please forgive me? I swear I’ll be more careful.”

You sighed knowing he had no bad intentions. “Yeah Rafe, I forgive you. Just please don’t even joke with me like that again. You know that broke me into pieces.” He replied, “I promise, I promise, I will never ever do that to you ever again.”

Then he said “so can I come over because I still feel bad and I really want to see you.”

You thought this was the perfect time to tease him, “you can see me tomorrow when I come over to your house to get ready for midsummers.”

He huffed in annoyance, “but I want to see you now!!”

“Byeeee Rafe, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Then you hung up on him. You could imagine his face at that moment, shocked but wanting more. It was late so you decided to go to bed, trying to contain your excitement for tomorrow.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

You woke up to the sound of your phone buzzing. There were only a few people it could be but you secretly hoped it was the eldest Cameron sibling. Nope, it was actually the middle Cameron sibling. You saw a text from her that said “Get your lazy ass over here, we’ve got midsummers to get ready for.” You groaned, eyes still puffy from crying last night. So you got up brushed your teeth and got dressed. You grabbed your bags from yesterday then headed to the Cameron’s.

You dang the doorbell several times and you heard Rafe holler, “I’m coming, chill out.” He definitely didn’t know it was you, he probably assumed it was Kie or something. When he opened the door his face went into a frown. He sees your puffy eyes and palish face from crying. You gave him a small smile and you were about to say something but Sarah came to the door and dragged you upstairs.

She had her hair done and she makes up done. She looked absolutely gorgeous. You always wanted to be as beautiful as the Kook princess. She told you countless times you were soooo pretty but you were just very insecure. “Okay, so how should I do your hair?” I think just leave it down and straighten it. So you went and took another shower, you made sure to moisturize and all that good stuff.

Sarah sat you down at her vanity and started blow-drying your hair. After she was done with that she plugged up the flat iron. She suspiciously went and closed her door then she said “Y/N we need to talk.” Oh God, not that sentence again.

“So what’s going on between you and my brother.” You practically choked on your spit and said “what do you mean.” She looked at you with knowing eyes while continuing to do your hair.

“Y/N, I’m not stupid. I see the glances you give each other. I hear him talk to you on the phone, all the time! He was crying last night and this morning you show up with puffy eyes! I’d rather you tell me then lie to me about it.” She had an expression you couldn’t read at the moment.

“Okay Sarah, you want to know? Rafe and I have been seeing each other for a few months.” Her mouth dropped. Then she put on a little cocky smile of hers.

She screamed “I KNEW IT!! I mean I didn’t know it but I did know it. Y/N, if you really care about him then I’m not mad. I don’t know why in hell you would want to be with him but that’s your choice. I’m really happy for you.” You got up and hugged her really hard. She was so sweet. You muttered, “Sarah you are amazing.”

You decided you wanted a snack before you got your make up done. So you and Sarah went downstairs and you decided to get an apple. You saw Rafe sitting at the bar, so you decided it would be the perfect time to get him back for his “prank.” You made sure Sarah was in the room then you went up to him and kissed him. He didn’t push you away, he only deepened the kiss.

You pulled away and said, “you know your sister is right there, right?” He glanced at her and said back “I really didn’t care, if you wanted to kiss then we were going to kiss.”

Sarah eyed both of you and said “hey, just because I know doesn’t mean you two can get all lovey-dovey. I going to go and give you guys a minute. Y/N come upstairs when you’re done.” She then went back upstairs.

Rafe looked at you and said, “so you told her?���

“No, I didn’t, you’re just not good at hiding us.” He elbowed you then you giggled.

His face went serious. He looked at you for a second then said “I’m so sorry for what I did yesterday. I felt horrible. I thought you were going to break up with me, even though you should’ve. I really shouldn’t have done that. It hurt me so bad to know you were crying and I couldn’t comfort you.”

You looked at him with testy eyes and said “it’s okay baby.” He got up and hugged you so tight.

He wasn’t letting go so you had to say “alright I’m going to let Sarah do my make up now. I’m going to get dressed.” He gave you a kiss and then you were off to go.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh, honey

Oh, honey

Before you knew it you were dressed and people were arriving at the house. You weren’t going to lie, you looked really good. Kie suddenly swung open the door to Sarah’s room. She saw you and her jaw dropped, “wowww my date looks hot.” You giggled and grabbed Kie’s hand.

You both walked over to where Pope was working and decided to chat. People were staring at you and it made you uncomfortable. Although there was nothing you could do so you just decided to have a good time. You heard applause and you turned around to see what all the commotion was about. Then you saw him.

He was with the rest of his family, he looked miserable. Then your eyes met and his face visibly heated up. He had a baby blue suit on, he cleaned up really nice. To be honest the entire Cameron family looked like they were out of a photoshoot. You gave Rafe a small smile and he was blushing, it was obvious the effect you had on him.

Ward gave a small speech then the Cameron family went all separate ways. Topper and Sarah were arguing about something. Pope and JJ were working. Kie was with her mother and father talking of God knows what. Then it was just you. You gasped when you felt someone come up behind you and say “want to dance.” It was Rafe.

“Rafe, you know we can’t dance. People will find out about us.”

He looked at you with a small smile and said “maybe I want them to know.” You eyed him suspiciously then you decided he had no alternative motive. Well, it was time. He took your hand and you both walked over the dance floor. Your hands were around his neck and he had him on your waist.

“Rafe...people are staring at me.” You said quietly. He leaned down and whispered in your ear “Well let them stare, you’re beautiful.” Then he kissed the top of your head.

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

After a few dances, you decided it was time to go back to your seat. Kie rushed to your side “so that’s new?” Then Sarah replied, “no it’s not, it’s been going on for about 4 months.”

You turned to her and said, “actually about 6.” They both looked at you shocked. Kie had a blank expression and she looked at you and said “why him?” You knew that was a loaded question. There were so many reasons you chose him. Maybe it was that he was a generally kind person once you got to know him. Maybe it was the fact that when your asleep he talks to you, but you just pretend you’re asleep. Perhaps it was the way he changed when he met you. He no longer bothered the Pogues, he was off the coke, and he learned to control his hot head.

There was only one thing that could possibly explain it “I chose him because I love him.” You smiled there way. They looked at you with a startled expression, then behind you with a startled expression. They both snickered, then ran off. You stood up and turned around and Rafe was standing there with a startled expression. “Shit” was all you muttered.

“Y/N, you love me?” You muttered sheepishly “yeah I do”

Oh, honey

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

“Y/N, I think. NO. I know I love you too” You gave him the biggest smile. You lent in and kissed him, people started staring. There were oohs and ahhs, some even gasped. He whispered in your ear “want to get out of here?” You smiled and gave him a yes. He took your hand and you both headed towards the beach.

He could tell you were having a hard time walking with your dress and all so he grabbed your bridal style. You both settled on a pier looking over the water.

You were watching the water but you could tell her was staring at you. Then he said, “I hope our kids never have to hide their love.” Wait did he just say, kids?

You turned and looked at him “our kids?”

He looked at you sheepishly and said “yes I want kids, do you?” You leaped up and attacked him with hugs and kisses. That was a definite yes. “I love you Rafe.” he smiled into your lips and said, “I love you too baby.”

He truly adored every piece of you.

@drewswannabegirl @snkkat @nina1800

@drewsephsmiles @annedub @peoples-trash

@obx-direction-sos @lahey-paradise

@girlsru1eboysdroo1 @gimmethejohnd

@elegant-daisy @sortagaysortahigh

@afterglowsb-tch13 @country-club

@starrystarkey93 @trashmouthpogues

[lilliagradiewrites]

not like that // jj maybank (one shot)

A/N: New one shot friends!! I have been working on this for over a week and I’m so happy with how it’s turned out. It’s the longest piece I’ve ever written. I’m really proud of this, so I hope you guys like that. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated!! Also, every reblog helps. Love you guys!!

Summary: JJ Maybank has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. And, unfortunately for you, you’ve been in love with him for as long as you remember. You’ve done great at hiding your feelings, but what happens when on a drunken night, everything is revealed?

Word Count: 9.5k

Warnings: nothing worse than what's in the show!!

Contents: ANGST, lots of angst, and a bit of fluff at times :)

Let’s do it!!

--------

Another night, another heartbreak.

You knew it would happen; it always does. It’s practically expected at this point.

But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

It was a friday night, and all the pogues were at the boneyard. This wasn’t unusual; it was actually quite common. You had volunteered to be the designated driver. It was meant to be JJ’s turn, but you knew he’d had issues with his dad earlier in the day and needed to get fucked up. So, you told the group that you ‘didn’t feel like drinking’ and told JJ to have his fun.

The rest of the group suspected nothing, but JJ knew your purpose for volunteering. When the group had begun loading into the van, he’d grabbed your arm and pulled you aside.

“You don’t have to do that, you know. I’m fine. I won’t drink.”

“It’s okay, J. You’ve had a rough day. You need some fun tonight. I’m happy to stay sober if it means you’ll have fun and take your mind off things.”

JJ smiled slightly. “Thank you. But I don’t wanna ruin your fun. You’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.”

You touched his arm lightly as a way to reassure him. “I promise you it’s okay, JJ. I’m fine with it. You need this more than I do. If it was an issue for me, I wouldn’t have volunteered.”

JJ hesitated for another moment, but eventually agreed. He thanked you again and walked with you to get in the van.

Now, you sat alone on the crowded beach, the one beer you’d been nursing all night in your hands. You’d been with your friends all night, but once they’d gotten a decent amount of alcohol in their systems, they abandoned you. Kie dragged Pope off to dance; John B left muttering something about Sarah Cameron. JJ, who felt bad for you staying sober even in his drunk state, has stayed with you a little longer. When the two of you were alone, he’d been extremely touchy. One hand on your thigh as he talked to you, shoving you playfully when you cracked a joke at him. The contact was little, but it made your stomach flutter.

JJ was your best friend, no doubt. You’d known each other since you moved to the cut in sixth grade. He had invited you to sit with him and John B at lunch, and the three of you became fast friends. You loved John B and cared about him very much, but you had a special connection with JJ. You felt a sense of comfort around him that you felt with no one else. He understood your humour, appreciated your music taste, and was the greatest listener. You went to him with all of your problems, and JJ did the same. The two of you had such a close bond, you don’t what you’d do without him.

That is exactly why you’d pushed away your feelings when they first began creeping up on you. You pushed down the butterflies, willed your cheeks to stop turning red when he looked at you. Did everything you could to stop the infatuation from growing larger. All your efforts were for nothing, though, when you realized your love from the blonde was only growing stronger the more you pushed it away. After that, you finally came to terms with your crush, but decided to keep it to yourself. If you told him, it could make things awkward, and you’d lose him altogether. You’d rather suffer in silence than lose the person you cared about most on this planet.

This crush is what caused your cheeks to ignite in redness every time you felt JJ’s hand brush against your skin. You became more and more flustered as he subtly flirted with you in every way, praying that you it was too dark for him to notice the deep red shade your face had become. He said something extremely flirty, and began leaning into you.

Your brain exploded with a million thoughts and emotions.

He’s gonna kiss me!

Holy shit what do I do?

Does he actually like me back?

What if it’s just because he’s drunk?

What happens if he doesn’t remember this in the morning?

Despite the storm that was raging in your head, you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning in towards him. Your lips were inches apart, and your dreams were moments from coming true.

Until JJ, in his drunken state, spilled his drink all down the side of his leg. He pulled back, cursing. The boy informed you he was going to refill his drink and find something to wipe his leg off with, and he was gone.

You sat there and watched him walk away, taking your hopes of something ever happening between the two of you with him.

You’d waited for him to come back for about half an hour before going to look for him. He’d told you he’d come back once he was done, and JJ always kept his promises to you. So, when he didn’t return quickly, you were worried.

As soon as you saw him, however, you were regretting getting up off your seat. About twenty feet from the keg was JJ, talking to some pretty redhead about something you couldn’t hear. The girl, who was clearly just as wasted as your friend, was hanging on his arm, listening intently to every word he said. Her face showed interest in the conversation, but her blue eyes were filled with lust. You could tell that all she wanted was to get JJ alone.

And, judging by the way he was moving her hair from face, JJ had the same thoughts as the girl.

Not being able to watch anymore, you’d turned and walked quickly away. You found a tree, a decent way away from the party, and sat on the sand, leaning your back against the wood. It wasn’t until you were in this position that you let the tears fall from your eyes.

How could you have been so stupid? How could JJ ever want you like that? You were his best friend, practically his sister. He was only flirting because he was drunk.

Truly not in the mood to drink anymore, you throw your red solo cup across the sand. You know that Kie would kill you if she found out you’d left plastic on the beach, but you couldn’t care less. As the cup landed on it’s side, the beer spilled out onto the sand. You thought the cup looked almost as empty as you felt. You reached for your phone, thinking you could scroll through tiktok as a way to keep your mind off things and pass time, but stopped yourself. Your wallpaper was a photo of you and JJ, and you couldn’t bear to look at his face right now.

So, you opted to just observe the party instead. You could still see your friends, but they were all in different positions now. Kiara and Pope had met a touron couple and were having a conversation with them. John B and Sarah now sat in the exact seats you and JJ had previously occupied. JJ and the redhead were dancing. Her hands were on his shoulders; his on her waist. They moved to the beat of the music, getting slowly closer and closer to each other. When the song ended, JJ pulled the girl in and leaned down so his mouth was at her ear. The boy whispered something, and you watched as the girl bit her lip and nodded.

You didn’t hear what he said, but you didn’t need to. The girl grabbed JJ by his arm and led him away until they were out of sight. A few moments later, you hear a ding from your back pocket.

You reluctantly pull your phone out, and sigh when you read the message notification from JJ.

BSF!: dont worry about me, going home with a friend. Be at the chateau in the morning. See u.

A teardrop fell on your phone screen as you read the message. You hadn’t even realized that you’d been crying. Deciding that you couldn’t bear to stay any longer, you stood, took a deep breath, and walked to where Kie and Pope stood.

You talked as soon as you got to them, not caring if you interrupted their conversation.

“Hey, guys, can we go? I don’t want to cut anyone’s night short but I’m not feeling very well.”

Kie was very understanding. The girl was so caring, even when wasted. “Yeah, of course. Come on, Pope.” The two said goodbye to their newfound friends, then followed you away. When you told John B you were leaving, Sarah offered to drive him home later so he wouldn’t have to leave. He asked if that was okay with you, and of course you agreed. Just because your night was shitty doesn’t mean everyone else’s has to be.

You turned to Pope and Kie, realizing it wasn’t fair to ask them to leave if they were having fun. “I can come back later and pick you guys up if you want to stay. I don’t mind.”

Kie was quick to protest, until their two new friends came up and offered to take them home later. The girl hadn’t been drinking. Kie asked if you were okay to be alone, still worried.

Once you’d assured her that you were, she gave you a hug, telling you to drive safe and text her when you got back to the chateau. You agreed, said goodbye to Pope and the nice couple, and were on your way.

You drove home in complete silence. Normally, you’d be blasting music, but you knew you couldn’t bring yourself to sing along. When you arrived back at the chateau, you shot a quick text to kie before going to the guest bedroom and collapsing on the bed. The tears came almost immediately.

The rest of your night consisted of your favorite sad playlist and a lot of crying. You usually shared the guest bed with JJ, as he was your best friend, and his pillow still smelled like him. You lay there, facing his side of the bed, breathing his scent in deeply and pretending he was there with you.

Eventually, sleep found you and carried you away to a rest filled with dreams about the boy you loved.

When you woke up the next morning, the sun was shining brightly through the curtainless window in the small guest bedroom where you slept. Instinctively, you turned to your right, where a certain blonde usually lays each morning. When you looked, you found nothing but cold, empty sheets, and it all came flooding back to you. You groaned, throwing the bedding off of yourself and standing. If you stayed in the bed any longer thinking about last night, you knew you’d cry again. You hated crying in the morning; it made your face all red and you’d have a headache for the rest of the day.

With a sigh, you lifted your phone from the small bedside table where you’d left it the night before. The time on the screen read 8:37 AM. Knowing that none of your friends would be up at this hour, you walked out of the room and towards the bathroom. All you needed was a shower, you decided, and then you’d feel better.

When the shower was turned on, you stood in front of the dirty bathroom mirror as you waited for the water to warm up. Your appearance was horrible; last night’s makeup was smeared across your face, streaks of black mascara running down your face from your tears. Your hair was tangled from the night's fitful sleep. Insecurity flooded into you at the sight.

I bet JJ’s redhead girl wakes up all pretty in the morning. He’ll see her when he wakes up and he’ll smile because she’s so beautiful.

You tried your best to push these thoughts from your mind, tearing your eyes from your own reflection and getting into the warm water.

In the shower, you tried your best to not think about your best friend,  but when you went to grab your shampoo, you spotted the body wash JJ uses. The one that he always smells like when the two of you settle into bed at night. Tears began blurring your vision at the sight, but you blinked them back and finished your shower as quickly as possible.

A few hours later, everyone had woken up. Kie was first, then Pope, and finally John B. You gave everyone advil for their hangovers and made breakfast. They talked about the night as they ate, and you listened to their stories, trying your best not to think about how horrible you’d felt when they were all having fun. After breakfast, they all showered and dressed. It was nearly noon at this point, and there was still no sign of JJ.

You and the pogues sat on the back porch enjoying the beautiful early summer weather. A conversation was going, but you couldn’t keep your mind on it. It kept wandering to the blonde boy you loved so much, and how worried you were for him. He was usually back from his hookups by this hour.

As if your thoughts had summoned it, you heard tires on the gravel driveway out front, and the slam of a door. JJ walked into the chateau, spotted his friends on the back porch, and walked out to meet them, sitting beside you on the couch.

“Hey, J. How was your night?” John B said with a chuckle.

JJ, though looking tired, had a wide smile on his face. “Great, man. Truly awesome.”

“You’re back later than normal. I was worried about you.” You say quietly. How happy he looked made you uneasy, and there was something about him that was different. He was never this smiley after his usual hookups; he mostly just looked exhausted.

But now, sitting beside you on the beat up outdoor couch, the boy was grinning from ear to ear.

His smile faltered when he heard the concern in your voice. “Oh, sorry.” He says. “I, uh… took her to breakfast.”

Shock radiated from the other pogues.

“You took her to breakfast? You never do that. You usually just leave.” Pope says in disbelief.

JJ chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Yeah, I know. This girl is, uh… I don't know… different. She’s really cool, and sweet, and funny. Not to mention she’s bad as fuck. I like her a lot. I kinda wanna get to know her better.”

Kie beamed. Pope and John B raised their eyebrows. Your stomach dropped to your feet.

“Jj, that’s so great! I’m glad you met her” Kie says with a smile. You force one and nod along, not wanting anybody to know how much his words hurt you. You blinked back the tears that began stinging your eyes, hoping no one noticed how they glossed over.

“Yeah.” JJ beamed. “I am, too.”

In an attempt to keep yourself from crying, you quickly change the subject. “That’s great, J. Now, since we’re all here, are we going out on the marsh? It’s so pretty today, I’d hate to waste the nice weather.”

The pogues all nodded in agreement. Thoughts of JJ’s potential new girl were forgotten as excitement for the day ahead of them grew.

“Yeah, sounds good.” John B says. “I’ve been meaning to go fishing anyway. Everyone else down?”

“Of course! I’ve got work at six-thirty though. Can we be back by then?”

“Yeah, of course we can. We can come back around five, so Kie has time to shower and get ready. If we leave at noon, then that’s what, five hours out there? It’ll work out perfectly.” You say, and the rest of the group nods. “Okay, everyone get their stuff and put on your swimsuits. Be ready by twelve.” At this, everyone begins moving to their respective areas to begin getting ready. You and JJ, as usual, head to the guest room, where all your belongings are.

Once you arrive, you both grab your swimsuits and turn around, a routine for you. When you first began sharing the room, you both decided taking turns in the room and the bathroom was too much work, and you both would just not look when the other was changing clothes. You were grateful for this at the current moment, as tears began welling up in your eyes the moment you turned around.

“So, you really like this girl, huh?” You can’t help yourself from asking.  You know what the answer will be, and you know it will hurt you. But, you ask anyways, a sliver of hope in your mind telling you he’ll say no.

“Yeah, honestly. She’s so cool. She laughed at my jokes, and she hung onto every word I said when we talked. She’s a great listener. She’s so amazing, Y/N. I know I’ve only known her for a day, but I feel like I’ve known her forever. I’m probably gonna text her later and see if she wants to go out tonight or tomorrow.”

Your heart dropped even further down at his words, but you tried your best to hide it. “Oh, really? That’s great. I thought you weren’t the relationship kind of guy?”

“I’m not. It’s just… she’s different. I saw her half an hour ago and I already miss being around her. There’s something about her that’s just so nice… what does Kie call it?... right, her energy. Her energy is just so good. Like I want to be around her all the time. I know I’ve barely met her, but I’m just so comfortable around her. I don’t know… she just feels right.”

“That’s,uh… that’s wonderful JJ. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks, Y/N. I’m happy, too.”

You felt like you were going to puke. You took deep breaths while you buttoned up your denim shorts in order to keep you breakfast down. After throwing a cropped tank over your bikini top, you asked JJ if he was decent before turning around. After hearing his ‘yes’, you looked around to him and mustered up the best smile you had. “Uhh, J?”

“Yes?”

“What’s her name? The girl?”

“It’s Faith.”

“Faith who?”

“Faith Barker. You probably don’t know her, she just moved here.”

“Oh, cool.”

And with that, he left. You followed JJ out to the backyard, where the rest of your friends were already getting onto the boat.

You put on your brave face, and prepared yourself to face a day with JJ.

“Are you kidding, Pope? There’s absolutely no way you’re serious.”

“If you truly think about it, you could-”

“No. Stop talking. You are way too smart to believe this shit.”

You and Pope were currently discussing an outrageous conspiracy theory, a heated conversation that no one else seemed to understand. You, like Pope, were quite smart; conversations like this one often blossomed when you and Pope began talking. The rest of the pogues usually watched in amusement, making quiet bets on who would swing first.

“Wait, Y/N, listen! The government hides shit from us all the time. This could be one of those things, easily. We don’t know ninety-eight percent of what goes on behind the scenes.”

“So what you’re telling me right now is that you wholeheartedly believe that Donald Trump used government laser weapons stationed in space to start the California wildfires?”

“No, Y/N, I’m telling you that I wholeheartedly believe that the government is capable of anything, and that nothing is off limits when it comes to the higher-ups in said government.”

“Well, then, you should’ve just said that. The other one made you sound fucking crazy.”

The pogues laughed at your final proclamation, and JJ used the pause in the argument to speak.

“Now that Y/N and Pope are finished with their geek party, is everyone ready to swim?” The group all agreed, (you and Pope glaring daggers at him for the ‘geek party’ comment) and began stripping down to their swimsuits.

You stood quickly, pulling your tank top off your body, happy to be relieved of the fabric. As the North Carolina sun grew hotter, you grew sweatier, the thin material sticking vexatiously to your skin. Once your top was off and in a pile on the boat’s floor, your shorts quickly joined it. You straightened yourself up, looking around at your friends. John B was finishing up anchoring the small vessel. Kie and Pope were standing at the edge of the boat, and on a count of three, they leaped into the water together. Your best friend was staring at you.

You did a double take when you noticed JJ’s eyes examining your body. His blue irises traveled shamelessly up and down your figure, taking in every inch of your body in the swimsuit you’d chosen. Feeling that you needed some confidence, you’d chosen a suit that made you feel amazing: a sexy triangle style bikini. The white fabric was vibrant against your already tanned skin, the style flattering your shape in all the right places.

JJ, obviously, appreciated the swimsuit just as much as you did. You could practically feel his eyes boring into your skin as he continued to stare at you.

Feeling confident, you snapped your fingers at him, causing his eyes to meet yours.

“Eyes are up here, Maybank.” You teased with a wink, before stepping to the edge of the boat and executing a clean dive into the water.

The cool water enveloped you, a wonderful contrast to your hot skin. Below the surface, you were calm, and you allowed yourself to relax momentarily as you swam.

JJ, on the other hand, was far from relaxed. Watching you undress, your teasing words, that wink, and your dive left him unbelievably flustered. “Holy shit.” He mumbled, unable to form any more words.

“What the fuck was that, man?” John B, who had seen the whole encounter, questioned with a smirk.

JJ ran his hand through his messy hair, and blew out a breath. “I don’t man, but I liked it. A lot.”

John B smirked. “Yeah, me too.”

JJ shot the boy a glare, and he raised his hands in surrender with a light chuckle.

“Sorry, J, didn’t realize she was yours.”

JJ furrowed his brows. “She- she’s not mine, I- uh…”

John B chuckled again, coming forward and clapping a hand down on his friends shoulder. “Are you sure about that man?”

JJ watched, mouth agape, as John B gave him a smile before setting down his beer and jumping into the water.

Not knowing what to say, JJ took a moment to process what his friend had implied. You and him weren’t… a thing. You were just friends, best friends, and nothing more. Sure, he had thought about you a few times, maybe had a dream or two about you…

But even if he did feel that way towards you, of course you wouldn’t feel the same way. You viewed him as a brother, he thought, not a boyfriend. The two of you dating was probably a thought that was so outrageous, it never even crossed your mind.

As JJ watched you in the water, swimming and laughing, his mind continued to wander. Would it be so bad if the two of you dated? You did everything together anyways; you even slept in the same bed. Truthfully, a relationship would only add affection, and things he only allowed himself to think about late at night when he was sure you were asleep. You fought like a married couple, you buy things for each other that make you think of the other person. When you get your period, he comes over to your house with chocolates and ice cream and you watch movies together all day. If you think about it, you were basically together. And, he’d noticed you being extra flirty lately, and there was a strange look in your eye when he began talking about Faith…

No. JJ scolded himself, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. He did not need to be thinking about this. The two of you were just friends, and that’s how it should stay. The rule still stands, right? No pogue on pogue macking. And besides, he had Faith; a wonderful girl he actually really liked.

Even if the two of you dating was a good idea (which it wasn’t), you would never want to. You loved and cared about him, of course… just not like that.

JJ decided to shove the idea of a relationship with you out of his mind the best he could and enjoy his day. He ran to the edge of the boat, jumping with his legs pressed tightly to his chest, shouting “Cannonball!”

As JJ’s body hit the water, a large wave exploded around him, splashing the pogues.

Kiara squealed. “JJ, you dick! You got water in my eye!” You laughed at the whole encounter, swimming over to Kiara.

“Come on, there’s a sandbar over there. We can fix your eye.” You offer with a giggle, pointing to your left where you knew the sandbar was. Kie nodded, her hand still rubbing at her left eye.

“If I go blind, JJ, you’re paying for my optometrist bills.” Kie says, feigning anger as the two of you swim to the sandbar.

“Sorry, Kie, no can do. I’m broke, and I have no idea what that word means.”

You chuckle lightly, helping to pull Kie to a standing position with you. “It’s an eye doctor, dumbass.” You tell JJ, moving Kiara’s hand from her eye. “Try to open it, Kie.” You say softly, leaning in to examine it.

Kiara makes an attempt, but the salt stings her eye as soon as oxygen hits it. “Shit!” She exclaims, hands going back to her eye in instinct. “I’m trying, Y/N, but it burns like a bitch.”

JJ, who was holding onto the side of the HMS Pogue while treading water, observed you and your friend on the sandbar. You were always so caring, he noticed, whether it was a friend getting saltwater in their eye or a deep cut on their leg from a sharp rock. JJ could recall countless times where, after a particularly nasty bout with his father, you’d sat him on your shared bed in the chateau, gently cleaning his wounds and assuring him that everything would be alright. He loved you for this; he’d never met anyone so loving and helpful.

“Okay, Kie, we’re probably just gonna have to rinse the saltwater out. I brought some water bottles, I’ll go get one for you.”

You moved off the sandbar and back into the deep water, headed for the boat. You, being the mom of the group, always remembered the little things. Kie always remembered a case of beer; JJ went nowhere without a freshly rolled blunt on him. You, however, were always the one to pack the important things: snacks, sunscreen, and water bottles.

As you approached the boat, JJ smiled at you.

“Look at you, playing nurse again.” He teases, splashing you lightly.

“I wouldn’t have to if you gave a little more a warning before splashing everybody, dickhead.” You joke back. JJ laughed, but didn’t move from his spot. He was blocking the boat’s stairs, and you couldn’t get on if he didn’t move over.

“Move, JJ, I’ve got to get water for Kie.” You said, motioning to the side. Just to mess with you, JJ stayed in place, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

“Why should I?” He smirks, knowing just how to get a rise out of you.

“Because I’m trying to help Kie because of something you did.”

“Not good enough.” He knows he’s pissing you off now.

“JJ, move.” You demand. He’s the reason Kie’s eye is all messed up in the first place; he has no right to stop you from helping her.

“Only if you decide to ask nicely.” He says with another smug smirk.

You roll your eyes. You were fed up with his games, and your legs were beginning to grow tired from treading water all this time.

“JJ, will you PLEASE get the fuck out of my way so I can get water for Kie?” You say, frustration apparent in your voice.

“That still wasn’t very nice-”

“JJ!” You growl warningly.

“You didn’t let me finish!” He exclaims. “But, you said the magic word, so I guess I can let you through.”

He finally moves to the side, allowing you to climb the stairs and board the boat. You went straight to the cooler in which you knew you’d put the water bottles. You swung the lid open, grabbed one, dropped it shut, then dived into the water. You knew the bottle was sealed tight; it was unopened. No saltwater could get inside, so you simply swam back to Kie holding the bottle in your hand.

You climbed back onto the sand bar and headed straight for Kiara.

“Here, I got a water bottle. It’s been in the cooler for a while so it may be a little cold on your eye.” You informed her, showing her the water bottle in your hand.

“Oh, thank you!” She exclaimed. “What took so long?”

“JJ was fucking around with me.” You exclaimed. “I swear, he can be the most annoying person on earth sometimes.” You moved towards your friend, unscrewing the water bottle and tilting her head back. You began lightly pouring the water over her eye, rinsing it of any salt that remained inside it.

“So you’re in love with him, why?” Kie questioned.

You immediately pause, halting all movement at her words

Did she just say what you think she said?

“Umm, what?” Is your reply as you continue rinsing out her eye.

“Come on, Y/N, you heard what I said. You’re in love with JJ.”

Play dumb, you decide. Maybe if you act like you don’t know what she’s talking about then she’ll think it’s not true.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Kie.” You say with a forced laugh.

“I think I’m good.” She says removing the water bottle from her face. She straightens up and blinks a few times before turning towards you. “Seriously, Y/N. You’re not that slick, and I’m not that dumb.”

Not knowing what to say, you just say nothing.

“We’re your best friends, Y/N, we probably know you better than you know yourself. You have feelings for JJ. I saw how much it hurt you when he was talking about that girl this morning. I saw how flirty the two of you were earlier today before you got in the water. Honestly, Y/N, I don’t know what you think you were hiding.”

You drop her gaze, looking anywhere but into her eyes. Of course you loved him, but what were you meant to say?

“I don’t know, Kie. I think I might have feelings for him. But, even if I did, he’s not into me like that. And if I told him how I feel, it’d just ruin our friendship. He’s my best friend. I can’t lose him.”

“How can you be sure he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Because of Faith.”

“Because of who?”

You sigh, knowing you’ll have to explain. “That’s the girl he was talking about last night. The one he said he really liked. If you are truly in love with someone, you don’t have feelings for someone else. I haven’t like anyone for months because all I could focus on was JJ. I can’t even fathom going home with someone after a party because I’d think of him every second I’m with the person. Do you get what I’m saying? When you’re really that into someone, no one else exists.”

After a short moment, Kie slowly nods.

“Yeah, I get what you’re saying. But how do you know he wasn’t lying about that Faith girl? Just… I don’t know… saying those things to see how you’d react?”

You shook your head. “No. I know JJ better than I know myself. He wasn’t lying, I could see it in his face. In his eyes. He actually likes that girl. And it, uh… it hurts. A lot.”

Tears began welling up in your eyes, and Kiara pulled you into a hug.

“I’m so glad you’ve finally come clean about this, I can’t process how hard it must’ve been for you to have no one to talk to.”

You nodded, and pulled away.

“Okay.” Kie began, grabbing your hands. “Here’s what’s gonna happen:First, we’re gonna swim and have some fun today. Second, we’re gonna go home so you can shower and feel all good and clean. Third, after I get off work today I’m coming to stay here and we are gonna get you wasted. I’ll even kick JJ out of the guest room so we can stay up late talking about him. Sound good?”

You quickly nodded. “Yes, Kie, thank you. That sounds amazing.”

Kie smiled warmly at your words. “No need to thank me, babes. That’s what friends are for, right? Now come on, let’s go have some fun.”

And have fun you did. You and the pogues had the best time that day; you swam, had chicken fights, had splash battles, a dive competition off the side of the boat. The day was as close to being perfect as it possibly could be. After a while, the five of you settled back into the boat, eating the snacks you packed. Once five rolled around, John B put the pogue in drive and you all headed back to the Chateau, already exhausted from the day's endeavors. As you pulled up to the dock, you leaped off the boat, shouting over your shoulder that you called first shower. Kie bade her goodbyes to the group before heading to her house to get ready for work.

You and JJ, as usual, made a beeline for the guest bedroom. Once the door closed, JJ immediately rounded on you.

“What were you talking about with Kie when you were helping her with her eye?” He questioned.

“Nothing, really. Why?” You quickly reply. Why was he so concerned? Did he hear anything?

“No specific reason, I just thought I heard my name.”

Your heart dropped to your feet.

“Oh, uh… Kie asked what took me so long when I went to get to the water bottle and I told her it was because you were messing with me.” Not a total lie.

“Really? That’s it? I could’ve sworn I heard my name, like, five times.”

As you finished gathering your clothes to change into after your shower, you turned and faced your friend. “Yep, that’s all. Your name was only mentioned once. I’ve gotta go shower now.”

You tried your best to hurry out the door, but JJ stopped you by grabbing your arm.

“Is there, uh… is there something you need to tell me, Y/N?” He asked quietly. As you gazed into his eyes, you saw a swirling storm of emotions. Fear, nervousness, and is that… hope?

“Umm, no, not that I can think of right now.” You push out quickly, knowing that if you thought about your answer any longer you’d start to look suspicious.

JJ hesitated for a moment, studying your eyes as if all his answers could be found there. When he realized his searching would come to no avail, he released your arm and looked away, nodding. “Okay, I just… yeah. Um, enjoy your shower.”

You furrowed your brows, confused by his strange behavior. “Thanks?” You said with a light laugh. You turn to leave, but a lightbulb forms over your head before you walk out of the room. “Oh, J, there is something I wanted to tell you.”

The blonde boy stood up from his spot on the bed, what seemed like hope spreading on his face.

“Yeah?”

“Kie’s spending the night tonight, but we want to share this room so we’re kicking you out.”

JJ’s face fell. “What? Why isn’t she sleeping on the pull out with Pope like usual?”

“Uhh… girl talk.” Your answer makes him both frustrated and slightly nervous.

“Girl talk? About what?”

You face dropped into a sassy expression, attitude forming within you.

“Are you a girl?” You question, cocking your head to the side slightly.

“Obviously not.”

“Well, then, guess you won’t be knowing what girl talk is about. It’s kinda for girls, hence the name.”

JJ rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Fine. Go take your shower before I steal the bathroom from you.”

You run quickly out of the room and into the bathroom, knowing that JJ would keep that promise if given the chance.

It’s now close to eleven forty-five, crickets chirping loudly outside of the Chateau. You, John B, Pope, and JJ are currently settled onto the couch, watching some cheesy sitcom that’s new on netflix. It wasn’t very good, and definitely wasn’t that funny, but it was a form of entertainment as you waited for Kie to arrive. Kie made you promise that you wouldn’t let the boys break out the alcohol before she showed up, and you always kept your promises. The boys protested greatly, but followed your instructions nonetheless.

This is why everyone cheered loudly when Kiara finally walked through the the front door of the house carrying two bags; one with her clothes, the other with two bottles of alcohol.

“It’s party time, bitches!” Kie exclaimed, and everyone ran up to see her. JJ reached for one of the bottles in her tote bag, but she slapped his hand away quickly. “No. Y/N gets first dibs on everything. She’s getting off her ass tonight.”

JJ looked at you, concern swimming in his eyes. You knew he knew you well; you usually only got hammered when there was something you needed to distract yourself from. There was something to distract yourself from, of course, but he couldn’t know what. So, you simply shot him a small smile as an answer to his look. He nodded, taking your smile as an ‘I’m getting shitfaced for the hell of it’ expression.

“Thanks, Kie!” You exclaimed, grabbing both bottles out of her bag. “You can drop your bags in the guest room, I already told JJ he’s been booted for the night.” Kie smiled, while Pope’s face fell.

“What? You’re sleeping in Y/N’s room? I thought you were staying with me!”

Kiara dropped her bags in the room before walking over to Pope, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Sorry, bebs. Y/N needs a girl talk tonight. I promise I’ll spend extra time with you tomorrow, okay?”

Pope nodded reluctantly at this, and the party began.

You set the bottles on the counter, where John B opened one for you. “No way, Kie! Vanilla vodka? I can’t believe you got my favorite!”

Kie smiled. “Yes ma’am! You know I got you always.”

You beamed back at the girl, insanely grateful to call her your friend. Kiara always knew how to make you feel better.

“You’re the best, Kie!”

A few hours and many drinks later, you couldn’t walk in a straight line to save your life. Kie fed you drink after drink, and John B blasted music through his speaker. You were having the time of your life, seemingly forgetting about JJ (despite the fact that he was right there with you the entire time.)

Now, it was getting late, and you were getting tired. Near the end of your drinking was when the tears usually come, and John B accidentally let the beginning of ‘Heather’ by Conan Gray play. You turned to Kie, motioning her towards you.

“Can we go to bed?” You slur. “It’s girl talk time.”

Kie nods understandingly, linking her arm in yours and announcing to the rest of the group that the two of you were headed to bed.

As soon as the door closed behind you, tears welled up in your eyes. Kie immediately walked to you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

When her arms were around you, you couldn’t hold your tears back any longer. Sobs began to overtake your body, tears spilling onto Kiara’s shoulder.

“It’s so hard, Kie.” You choke out, practically unable to form real words.

Kiara, being the amazing friend she is, just held you, rubbing your back.

“I know, love, I know.” She soothed softly.

You pulled away from the embrace, trying your best to wipe your tears from your face.

“I-I just feel so stupid.” You choke.

“Please don’t feel that way, Y/N.” Kie says. “It’s not your fault, you can’t help the way you feel.”

You sniffed, choking on sobs once again. “I know it’s not my fault, but it still hurts. I mean, look at me, I’m wasted out of my mind crying over him. He’s probably out there drinking and laughing and having fun with his friends. He doesn't care.”

“It’s not that he doesn’t care, Y/N, he doesn’t know. He’s just… I don’t know, oblivious.”

You sniffled again, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to have a sense of security. “You’re probably right. He wouldn’t talk about Faith to me, or openly talk about all of his hookups around me if he knew. He’s too good of a person.”

“I don’t know if this will make you feel any better, Y/N, but… I think he may feel the same way. Like, the way he treats you, how he speaks to you, how flirty he is with you-”

“He’s flirty with everyone Kie. You, me… damn it, he even flirts with Pope.”

“I know, I know, but it just feels different with you somehow.”

“But it’s not different. You know how I know? Faith. Like I said earlier, on the sandbar. When you truly love someone, no one else even comes into the picture. I think he is oblivious, Kie… he just doesn’t see me the way I see him.”

Little did you know, JJ was far from oblivious. While John B and Pope were continuing their night, JJ followed you and Kie to the bedroom, listening carefully outside the door. His mouth was agape as he heard the words leave your mouth. He felt guilty for listening in; he knew eavesdropping wasn’t okay. But, when he saw the look in your eyes as you and Kie walked out, he couldn’t help himself. He had to make sure you were okay.

He didn’t know what he was expecting to hear, but this sure wasn’t it. You were… in love with him? He couldn’t process it. All this time, he thought you saw him as just a brother. Now, standing alone outside the door of the bedroom you usually shared, he realized he couldn’t be more wrong. Every time he caught you looking at him, every wink, every flirtatious comment; it was all real to you.

And here he was, talking to you about Faith, not knowing how much that would hurt you. He really made it seem like he was in love with the girl… but he knew he wasn’t. How could he be? Standing there, at that moment, he realized… you were right.

When you truly love someone, no one else comes into the picture.

JJ moved quietly away from his spot by the door, still completely dumbfounded by his discovery.

You loved him.

And… he loved you.

He immediately walked back to the living room. John B and Pope were still having the time of their lives. They hadn’t even noticed his absence. The music was still blasting; John B stood on the couch, Pope on the coffee table. They had taken random objects from around the house (John B with a yardstick, Pope with a pool noodle) and were swordfighting. Their laughs echoed throughout the shack, combining with the loud music to create a lighthearted chorus.

They paused immediately, however, when they saw the look on JJ’s face as he returned to the room.

“You good, man?” john B questions, brows furrowed

“It looks like you shit your pants. What happened?” Pope adds on.

JJ doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s hardly processed the information himself. Slowly, he clears his throat, and tries his best to inform his friends about the situation at hand.

“I… uh… you know how Kie and Y/N left to go have ‘girl talk?’ Well, I listened at the door, and-”

“Woah.” Pope interrupts. He was far more sober than the others, having only had two drinks. But since alcohol isn’t normally his thing, his tolerance was extremely low, meaning he was still quite tipsy.

“The fuck is wrong with you, man? You never listen in on girl talk. Ever. That’s, like, a rule or something.”

“Y/N looked upset! I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“Well, was she? What’s wrong with her?” John B was beginning to grow bored of the conversation in his drunk state.

“Well, she and Kie were talking and… um… she was upset.” JJ didn’t know the best way to proceed, so he just blurted it out. “Y/N was crying, and she was talking about being in love with someone and them not liking her back, and then Kie said they did like her back, and then I realized they were talking about me.”

The boys were silent for a moment. Suddenly, Pope and John B looked at each other, and bursted into grins.

“Yes! Finally!” Pope exclaims.

“I couldn’t wait until you found out. It was starting to become painful.”

JJ was baffled once again. “You guys knew?”

“She didn’t tell either of us, and neither did Kie. But, uhh… it’s really fucking obvious, dude.”

“If it’s so obvious, then why didn’t I know until now?”

“Because you’re oblivious, J! She could kiss you and you would think she only saw you as a friend.” John B says, clapping his hand down on JJ’s shoulder.

“She’s my best friend. She’s always acted like a best friend to me, right? We slept in the same bed and shit because we’re so close.” JJ’s statement seemed to be trying to convince himself more than his friends.

“You call that little incident on the boat earlier something best friends do? Come on, man, she was practically begging to be with you. The only way it could have been more obvious is if she pounced on you and started making out with you.”

“I-I thought that was a joke.”

“Didn’t seem like one.”

JJ’s brain felt ready to explode.

“So, when are you asking her out?” Pope questions with a smile.

“Ask her out?”

“Just admit it, man, we know you love her too.”

“I don’t know…”

“You’re in denial!” John B exclaims. “JJ, I’ve known you since third grade. I know you better than I know myself. I see how you look at her. It’s goo goo eyes every time she walks in a room. And you just- I don’t know- melt around her. No one can get you to open up like she can. No one can comfort you like she can. She’s your person, J.”

JJ doesn’t know what to say for what seems like the millionth time last night. He feels like he wants to cry, throw up, smile, and die all at the same time. “I- What about Faith?”

“Fuck Faith!” Pope says earnestly. “I’m sure she’s cool and all but come on. This is Y/N we’re talking about. She’s stunning, and smart, and funny. She’s literally you, just a lot hotter and with a bit more common sense.”

“I’m starting to think you have a crush on her.” JJ chuckles.

Pope just rolls his eyes. “You know what I’m trying to say. She’s perfect for you, man. And she already means a lot to you. You’re in love with her, I know you are.”

JJ sighs, covering his face. “Yeah, I think I am. I feel like I’ve known it for a while but I’ve just pushed it away I guess. She’s Y/N, my best fucking friend. I didn’t wanna mess things up between us, you know? What we have is so good…”

“Well, now you know you won’t mess anything up. So go get her, dumbass.” John B says, pushing JJ in the direction of the guest room.

“What, you mean now? Absolutely not. She’s probably asleep. And then she’ll know I was eavesdropping on their conversation. Not happening tonight, that’s for sure.”

“If you wait, you’ll chicken out.” Pope says. “Just do it. Rip off the band aid, my friend.”

“No.” JJ shakes his head, giving his final word. Not tonight. I’ll-I’ll do it tomorrow, okay?”

John B just shakes his head, patting his friend on the pat. “Whatever you say, man. I’m going to bed.”

“Same.” Pope adds. The boys say goodnight, and head off to their sleeping places. John B must have disconnected his phone from the speaker, as the music shuts off abruptly. JJ just sighs.

He moves to the couch, where he’s sleeping for tonight, pondering how much he’d give to be sleeping in his usual spot tonight. He cherishes his nights with you; they’re so comforting and nice. You are always such an amazing listener, and you always know the right things to say. You truly are the perfect girl.

He feels that you’re so close, yet so far away. He longs to walk in that room and kiss you right now. He knows it’s a terrible idea, but he wants to so badly. So long he’s dreamed of how your  lips would feel against his… and now he knows you might’ve been having similar dreams the entire time. He still can’t wrap his mind around it.

Being in love with your best friend is some cruel kind of psychological torture, JJ decides. The constant tugging at your heart when she mentions another guys’ name. The playful flirting that you wish was serious. All he ever wants is to hold you tight and never let go, but he never thought you wanted that. Now he knows you did, but it still feels so complicated.

Why is love so goddamn difficult?

JJ’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a creaking door and shuffling footsteps. He peeks up quickly to find you, still decently tipsy, walking out of your bedroom. He watches silently as you walk to the back door and go straight out of it.

The world seems to be spinning as you walk. Your head is beginning to pound from all your crying. After a few more minutes of talking, Kie had fallen asleep, leaving you alone with your thoughts in the dark room.

You had laid there, breathing heavily, going over every moment with JJ in your head. Your time as friends played like a movie in your mind, showing scene after scene of laughs, tears, smiles, and a whole lot of heartbreak. You wondered how you had gotten stuck so damn far into the friendzone.

Deciding you needed some fresh air, you pulled yourself from the bed and stumbled outside, heading down to the end of the dock.

You sat there on the edge, legs dangling off the side, toes brushing the surface of the water. You were still quite tipsy, and you knew it.

Maybe that’s why you didn’t burst into tears when you noticed JJ Maybank coming to sit beside you.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment. He didn’t know what to say to you; you had nothing to say to him. You gazed out over the water, and wondered if you could dive into the water and swim to the other side of the earth at this exact moment.

Thoughts of your escape plan were broken by a familiar voice you loved so much it hurt.

“Y/N?” The word was soft, almost nervous. The sound of it made you concerned. JJ never talks like this.

Instead of replying with some sassy answer as you normally would when drunk, you gave a simple “Yes?”

You heard JJ take a deep breath from beside before speaking again. “I, uh… I heard what you and Kie were talking about in the room. What you said.”

“You were eavesdropping on us? That’s kinda fucked up, J.”

“I-I didn’t mean to!” He defends himself quickly. “I was, uh, walking by and I heard you crying. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Okay.” You sigh. You had an idea of what was coming next. He’d give you some sympathetic ‘I’m sorry, I love you, just not like that’ and then things would never be the same afterwards. The last thing you wanted to happen would come true.

You’d lose him.

JJ didn’t seem to want to initiate the next part of the conversation, so you took matters into your own hands. “So you know? How I feel?”

JJ bites his lip, apprehensive. “Yeah. I-I do.”

You just nod; what else can you do? You feel the familiar lump form in your throat. Your head drops, tears pouring from your eyes almost immediately. You can’t believe you were going to lose him.

“Y/N-” JJ begins, but you are quick to cut him off.  

“No, J. I don’t need your sympathy. ‘You love me, just not like that.’ Don’t worry, I already know. Can we just move on?”

“But, Y/N-”

“No, JJ!” All the emotions you’ve hidden from him for so long were bursting out of you. You couldn’t tell whether it was from the alcohol or your vulnerable state, but the words came spilling out of you.

“I can’t. I-I can’t hear you say it. I’ve been dealing with this shit for so long. I’ve always known you don’t love me like that, and that’s okay. B-But I just can’t handle hearing you say it. So just… I don’t know… say you’re sorry and go back inside. I know things will never be the same between us after this, so I’ll move my things out of the guest room. It was your room first, I’ll sleep on the outdoor couch. I just- I just hate things had to end this way. I-I love you, J, and I always will, and it sucks that you don’t-”

Your words are cut off by JJ grabbing your face and crashing his lips onto yours. The sheer power of the kiss knocks you backwards, laying on your back with the blonde boy you love so much hovering over you. Kissing you.

JJ Maybank, finally kissing you.

At this moment, you silently condemn yourself for laughing at the dramatic first kisses between characters in movies. Fireworks always light up in the background, and it feels like they’ve been waiting for this moment their whole lives. You’ve always thought the whole thing was cheesy and overexaggerated, but now, experiencing it, you knew you were wrong.

Kissing JJ for the first time felt like everything you’ve ever needed. Like there was a missing piece in your life up until this point, and it’s finally been filled.

In your entire lifetime, nothing has ever felt so right.

After a moment, JJ pulls away, looking at you with a look in his eyes that he’s never seen before.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

And then he’s kissing you again, and the sparks fly for the second time that night. You knew, and he knew, that you were kissing your soulmate.

You stayed like that for a while, holding each other, finally expressing the love you’d both been hiding for so long. Once you were done, you laid on the dock, wrapped in each other's arms, watching the stars.

JJ noticed your breathing getting heavier, and soon you were asleep. He looked at you for a moment. Even sleeping, you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

The boy picked you up and carried you back to the porch, where he lays down with you on the couch.

He wraps his arms around you, never wanting to let go.

“Hey, J?” You mumble, barely awake.

“Yes, baby?” He replies softly, making your heart flutter at the nickname.

“I love you so much.”

JJ smiles. “I love you too, Y/N.”

You fall asleep to the sound of the words you for so long wanted to hear, wrapped in the arms of the beautiful boy you finally get to call yours.

[hcywards]

you’ll be fine — pope heyward

summary: in which pope is nervous for his interview and his girlfriend is there to calm him down.

words: 1.3k of pure fluff

t/w: swearing,, but apart from that it’s literally all fluff.

request: this was a request from @letsgofullkook !

“I haven’t been able to think of something that I’d necessarily want, but maybe Pope’s running over questions for his interview and being super stressed out before it!”

note: tysm for requesting, this idea was so cute i love it. uhh sorry that this ones a little short. apparently i dont know how to just write fluff hahaha but i hope you like it. && also i know this isn’t the exact request however i have never been to an interview for a school so i had no idea what the questions would be hahaha.

     Anxiety is an emotion we’re all used to.

     We know exactly how it feels, how we react to it, how we deal with it. In fact, some of us even know how others deal with it. That could be said for Y/N L/N and Pope Heyward, the latter of whom tended to hide his emotions behind a stoic expression and calm words.

     Y/N, however, knew different.

     After dating him for the best part of a year, and being friends with him for far longer, it would only take her a second to work out exactly what he was feeling. And, right now, that feeling was the sickening, terrifying concoction of nervousness, excitement, anticipation and stress, that sent your mind whirling and your body buzzing.

    Y/N watched him from the sun bed, sprawled out across it. They’d been sat there for hours in almost-silence, and she was growing bored of listening to him mumble to himself, scribble down words on a page and then shuffle them around. There were only so many times she could deal with listening to him repeat a sentence, and she was nearing the end of that count as she glanced over to him again, eyes raking from one nervous twitch to another.

     Pope’s fingers were drumming against his thigh as he sat, his other leg bouncing at a rapid pace. The hammock was swinging to and fro beneath him, jolting a little at the speed at which his leg was bouncing as he read through his scholarship essay.

     Y/N sighed quietly, though that didn’t seem to stir him from his thoughts. She looked at his face, wondering if he was aware that the constant drumming of his fingers was now getting irritating. Probably not.

     “Pope,” she called out to him, her voice soft so as not to make him jump. He did anyway, suddenly jolted out of his thoughts as he looked up. “Calm down. You’ll be fine.”

     “Okay, but, statistically speaking, the chances of me getting this scholarship right now are like, slim to none,” he responded, his words slurred at their quick pace. He didn’t make any moves to explain further, looking back down and reading through the paper he’d already read at least eight times in the past hour.

     Y/N snorted, “Pope, for a guy who’s a literal genius, I think you’re kind of dumb.”

     “You know, you’re great help, Y/N. Really great. Thanks,” he stated, tone dripping with sarcasm. He was spending too much time with Kie. “Now, please, let me concentrate.”

     Y/N sighed, shifting around in the sun bed to make herself more comfortable, and watching him continue to mouth the words to himself as he memorised them. His finger drumming continued for a few minutes before she got bored again, and she sat up, bringing her legs over the edge of the sunbed to face him. There were two ways to calm Pope down from when he got like this — the first was to try and convince him that there was nothing to worry about.

     “You’ll do great,” she soothed, “Trust me.”

     He looked up at her again, eyes wide. His heart was hammering in her chest, mind running a million miles per minute and still repeating the essay he didn’t know how to perfect. “Look, Y/N, this is the biggest opportunity of my life. If I don’t get in, I don’t know—” His voice cracked, and he looked away from her for a second, regaining his typically relaxed composure, though they both knew he was far from relaxed. “I don��t know what I’ll do.”

     “Pope. you’re literally, like, the smartest guy in the whole of the OBX. Of course you’ll get in.” she responded. “There’s nothing for you to worry about.”

     “There’s actually a lot for me to worry about,” he stated. “I mean, for one—”

     Before he could finish, Y/N was snatching his papers out of his palms and beginning to read them. He watched impatiently, studying her face intently to try and work out what she thought, but to no avail.

     Once she’d finished reading, she looked up at him with a dumbfounded expression, and he frowned, tilting his head to the side as he waited for her to tell her what she thought.

     “Pope, do you really think this needs editing?” she asked. “This is the best fucking thing I’ve ever read.”

     “You’ve literally read, like, Shakespeare, Y/N,” he retorted. 

     Y/N waved the paper in front of his face, rolling her eyes. “Pope, look, I’m not kidding. If they don’t let you in after this, they don’t deserve you. And I know you have to get in, but, honestly, Pope, there’s no way in hell you’re not going to. Please, just trust me on this one.”

     He looked at Y/N, disbelief obvious in his dark eyes, and his girlfriend gave him a supportive smile. His anxiety was far from gone, and she knew that — but she also knew he was one of the most stubborn people she’d ever met, and he’d be extremely difficult to convince of anything but what he’d been telling herself.

     So she opted for the second option, which was comforting. She moved to push him down to laying on the hammock, and he frowned, obviously uncertain as to what she was doing. She gave him another smile, trapping his papers underneath a coffee mug. The liquid inside had long since gone cold, abandoned and forgotten about in the boy’s need to work. She turned back to him, laying down by his side and wrapping an arm around his torso.

     “When was the last time you slept, Pope?” she asked as he began to melt into her touch, putting an arm around her shoulders as he looked up to the cloudless, summer sky.

     He scoffed. “I don’t need sleep, Y/N. I need to work. The interview’s in, like, three days, and it’s got to be perfect.”

     “It is perfect, Pope, but that’s not the answer to my question.” Y/N replied, looking up at him and studying his profile intently. The bags under his eyes were dark and puffy, and it was fairly obvious he hadn’t gotten enough sleep in days. The real question was, though: was he going to admit it?

     He sighed after a moment, knowing there was no way he could convince her of anyhting but the truth. She saw right past him, and she always had. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

     “Go to sleep then, Pope. You’ll be able to work better when you aren’t tired,” she stated, and he did just that. 

     They fell asleep curled up in each others arms, the thoughts of the interview far from their minds as they properly relaxed for what seemed to be the first time in days, and Pope woke up knowing exactly what he wanted to fix about his essay, meaning Y/N’s attempt at calming him down had actually worked when noone else’s had.

     Though, really, where was the surprise there? After all, they did know next to everything about each other, including what made the other calm, apparently.

taglist! there is a form in my description if you would like to be added! 

@spilledtee @dpaccione @thorsangel

[johnbroutledge]

i am sooo conflicted about season 2 of obx. like it was better but also not?

like the action sequences were sooo good i was on the edge of my seat the whole time. and they were also shot better than season 1. but i think the show is suffering from what i call “the stranger things syndrome” by which i mean when stakes get higher the show starts losing its core. everybody had at least one near death experience which was not adressed later. and like the last ep was so fun to watch but also they are only 16???

and i think we had a more evolved found family trope like everyone’s reaction when they reunited, jj and john b scenes was so good but also where is kie and sarah. and like pope jj and kie thought sarah and john b were dead so i wanted more scenes of them all just talking. dont know how you feel about jjpope but they really reduced their connection this seaosn and with jiara if they are going for slowburn they should have added more scenes because i still dont think either is interested in the other

sorry for this long message i just have so many thoughts and no one to talk to

i’m so glad you came to talk to me man, forreal, I got so excited when I saw I had an ask about the boat show!!!

I’ll be really straight with you rn, I am also kinda conflicted on how I feel about the season. on the one hand I am LIVING for all the john b inclusive best friends scenes, the action was impeccable, that ending!!!!, and POPE MAIN CHARACTER SUPREMACY TBFH. but i 100% agree with you that the writing dropped the ball on so many things, like there was SO MUCH trauma that was never addressed, things that were retconned for no reason (the best friends since the third grade line in s1 vs. we’ve been friends since kindergarten in s2 that literally doesn’t even MAKE SENSE), and i have REAL beef with a couple points of individual character “development” that I am honestly just not gonna rant about here because we do our best to keep it positive in this house AND it’s literally not worth the shit storm that I know will rain down on me if i do.

BUT YEAH…

I miss my kie and sarah scenes tbh, like the ones they did have were good but it seemed like there was an odd unbalance between the way kie was basically OBSESSED with sarah in s1 and how they didn’t really have much interaction at all in s2. and yes, i am officially jjpope trash (among other things 👀) and…..I guess I just don’t get why they chose to do the things they did (I am looking at you hot tub scene) if they’ve known all along they’re headed towards j*ara. like…..for why? what was the point? and i’ve said this probably 50 times but i don’t ship j*ara in any capacity and I literally do not think that will ever change but i know people i’m friends with and who follow me do so again, not gonna create a negative space. that’s not me.

maybe it was the lack of pogue feel good vibey scenes? I’m not sure. i think maybe they were just trying to do too damn much in a short season and stuff didn’t quite connect sometimes?like I love this show with my whole heart, the found family aspect of the show is literally instant serotonin to me, and I’m really not trying to be negative here, there was a lot of solid wins, and so many great and hilarious scenes this season. I’m with these damn pogues til the absolute end, but for me yeah, I feel you on the being conflicted.

I’m just focusing on the good parts, tbh. I try to remind myself that one) at the end of the day the story isn’t over yet and two) they made a bad ass season that has major high points in the middle of a global pandemic so they deserve some slack.

[whitetrashjj]

idk if its just me but jjpope shippers are extremely rude and have made me completely hate that ship even though i used to like it. theyve called me homophobic (im literally bi) bc i prefer jiara and also called others racist. theyre taking it way too far i really dont think they realize this is a fictional show.

Look, I’m truely sorry that people have called you that and treated you that way, and those people should take a long hard look at themselves. But. I do not think it is productive to generalise when it comes to fandoms and micro-fandoms.

Because the thing is what you are seeing of the jjpope fandom is a very small percentage, as you don’t ship them you aren’t seeing the day to day, casual, general in’s and out’s of their fandom. What you are seeing is the, what?, 5%?

What you are being exposed to are the ones who shit on jiara and tag them, for whatever reason. What you are seeing are the ones who seek out a ship that they see as ‘competition’  and chose to attack them. This is not a true or unbiased reflection of their fandom as a whole and we shouldn’t treat them as such.

OBX and jiara is my main fandom atm and I’ve managed to cultivate a nice little, drama-free environment for myself, where for the most part it is free from negativity. Occasionally I see hate in the jiara tag and I promptly block because I do not have the time or energy for that.

But I know, that despite my positive experience with the jiara fandom there are bad eggs, I have heard tiktok jiara’s are particularly vile. I would not like people to judge our fandom based on those people (who let’s be real are usually the immature 13 y/o’s who just can’t seem to separates things and stay in their own lane), so I think we should offer them the same curtsy. 

You are not homophobic for choosing to ship a m/f ship ‘over’ and mlm ship. Shipping is not about ‘wokeness’ or being progressive. And I’m not about to get into the fetishisation of mlm ships in fandom by straight girls, who like to use the homophobia argument as a way to justify how they get off on the thought of two hot guys (because, yes, hello JD and Rudy) fucking each other. That is a massive problem in fandom as a whole and I’m not saying that’s what is happening with all (or any) jjpope shipper, I’m just saying it’s an issue.

As a long suffering bellarke shipper I, and countless other bisexuals, can relate to the experience of being called homophobic or having our sexuality's invalidated over a ship preference and I really feel for you. Like, seriously who is putting the lives of fictional people over real life ones, get some perspective please.

And the racism, like, are we just ignoring the fact that Kie is a woc? Like just because she is more ‘light-skined’ than Pope doesn’t not negate that fact. Maddie is a proud black woman and I will not stand for people invalidating that over something as trivial as a fictional ship.

In the end, the block button is your best friend. Tailor you fandom experience so that you only surround yourself with positive people and I hope the negative people in both fandoms grow up a little and realise there are more important things than tearing people down.

I truly hope these people don’t ruin your love for jjpope as the iconic brotp I see them as, and I’m sure at some point you did. I can on some level relate to that feeling, I always saw them as these great friends and this awesome representation for casual platonic physical affection between males that is so lacking in media and real life and I think it would be great to keep it that way. So, I do feel a level of dissatisfaction when I see one of their moment’s giffed or talking about it as ‘proof’ that they are into one another. But each to their own, and I don’t see how if we all just stay in our lanes we can’t just live in harmony. Ship wars are so 2012 and so fucking boring...

So sorry for the long answer, I just have alot of thoughts.

[jjsjuiceboxx]

LOVE TRIANGLE

POPExREADERxTOPPER

REQUESTED FOR: @letsgofullkook

SUMMARY: a love triangle between readerxtopper and readerxpope

⚠️WARNINGS⚠️: underage drinking, smoking, cuss words, angst.

︎A/N- revamping my stuff so I’m just editing for decoration and stuff to make it pop more and draw attention ( no changes to the actual fic ), happy reading :).

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

You were currently on hms pogue with John B, Kie, pope, and JJ you were zoning out looking how the suns reflection could be seen from the water of the marsh, you were pulled out of your thoughts when Kie started to talk about the kegger tonight at the boneyard.

“ok so who is going to bring what?“ Kie asked looking to everyone expectantly.

Across the boat you can see JJ smirk “you all already know I’ve got the weed.”

“I’ll have the kegs filled up and take them both to the boneyard.” John B stated

You were about to speak but was cut off suddenly when you felt a cold chill approaching, “hey are you ok y/n?” Pope asked you slightly concerned.

“Yeah dont worry Pope I just got a cold chill suddenly it’s gone now tho.” You smiles sweetly at him for even noticing and then instantly be concerned Pope eyed you suspiciously he could still see chill pumps on your arms so he walked to his bag and pulled out his hoodie, his favorite one that he won’t even let John b or JJ wear.

Instead of Pope handing it to you he put it over your shoulders letting you slip your arms into them then he zipped it up for you, you blushed at the action heart pounding pope smiled at you.

“Really she can wear your hoodie without asking but when we ask nicely you don’t let us? Man I even say please I never say please!” JJ explained shocked

“She isn’t a cluts like John b and doesn’t spill beer everywhere and I cannot have you making my hoodie reek of weed, besides it’s Y/N we are talking about she doesn’t need to ask” Pope state’s non challenger

“Wow pope you’re a changed man.” Kie said laughing at the end and sending a wink your way

You were close with all the pogues but you and kie were the closest gossiping with one another about kooks and the boys while you did face masks and painted each other’s nails she knew you had a crush on pope which is odd considering he isn’t your type but he is so smart and it’s almost mysterious and he isn’t afraid to tell random people he wants to be a coroner and then proceed to tell them facts about what happens after you die and you couldn’t help but catch feelings.

“Wow pope you’re a changed man.” Kie said laughing at the end and sending a wink your way.

☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎ ☮︎

You and the rest of the pogues were now at the boneyard setting up for the kegger kie brought chips and a speaker to blast music, John b had the kegs and was setting them up, JJ sat down on a big fallen tree with his small contribution his weed, pope had a cooler with ice and more drinks inside while you carried a beach chair and solo cups kie also had you pick up straws for some of the beer in the cooler and it HAD to be recyclable.

“Y/N you know even at parties we have to save the turtles and other animals and our only earth.” She said seriously when you went to object she gave you a stern look.

“Yeah yeah....right the straws” you said kinda scared

“recyclable straws recyclable is important” she hollered after you now you were putting the straws on the table and putting solo cups out to be easily grabbed when you saw a few kooks show up a little earlier probably to set up their own beers and what not

But you couldn’t help but think Topper would be here yes he was dating Sarah but he always flirted with you before and during the relationship you at first hated it but one day when he stopped you realized you miss it so you decided the next time you saw him you would flirt first and so you did he then offered to get you a coffee and eat and you really got to know topper not kook topper, he hated pogues and was rude to them but he has never said anything bad about you atleast not to your face he always bullied the others.

As more people showed up you started to get anxious about toppers arrival you knew he was coming he always does the question was when ? And do you go up and talk to him ? When it’s just him and you you guys always talk about real stuff and you see that topper is just like the rest of us just slightly more perfect and put together.

You decided to start getting drunk to calm your nerves once you had two cups you were tipsy still sober enough to remember things and control yourself but a lot more relaxed and care free you saw pope walk away from taking to a girl and decided to dance with him.

“Pope come dance with me I love this song” you said cheerfully while spinning around

“Fine but If you get sick from spinning I’ll be mad” he laughed grabbing your hand

You and pope danced for 30 mins or something laughing and joking around and then suddenly you caught a glimpse of a tall tan boy with frosted tips along with Sarah and Kelce right by his side a slow song was playing and pope had you facing the entrance to the boneyard suddenly you and topper made eye contact he Gave you a slight nod in which you returned with a smile but it suddenly shifted when he looked away shaking his head so pulled back from pope and started taking his hoodie off

“I’m getting hot from all the Dancing I’m gunna grab a drink and cool off” you told him Pope pulled you into a tight hug that lasted about a minute.

“Thank you for dancing with me I’ve always wanted to slow dance with a pretty girl.” Pope stated shyly scratching the back of his head.

“Aww I’ll slow dance with you anytime handsome” you said blushing getting on your tip toes and kissing his cheek letting it linger for a bit you back off seeing him blush under the moonlight you handed him his hoodie and walked to get a drink.

While waiting in the line for a drink you looked up to see Sarah climbing a red buoy and Kelce and topper trying to get her down safely you looked away not wanting to catch their eyes. You hadn’t noticed but topper gave up as Sarah was being rather difficult while kelce climber up with her to pry her hands off the top of the buoy.

You felt a light tap on your shoulder prying your eyes away from John b trying to impress tourons by juggling some beers, your eyes met a pair of eyes you were all familiar with, topper.

“Hey there ken of the outerbanks, hows it hanging in the Barbie dream house?” You questioned amused

Topper laughed at your nickname you gave him “it isn’t the Barbie dream house when she isn’t my Barbie you’re” topper declared

You and topper during many of your hang outs tho you like to calls them private dates where you just talk and laugh he was wearing a bright salmon polo and khaki shorts with a belt and some sperrberrys to match and let out a little chuckle and said he looked like your old ken doll you have “accidently” taken from school, oops.

Topper laughed “ok ok fine I’ll take it but you have to be my Barbie” he said laughing

“Ok I’ll be the Barbie to you ken”

And hence the day the nicknames had been born. By this time it was your turn to get your drink topper took your cup and filled it up and gave it back to you while he did his.

“Wow who knew topper Thornton could be such a gentlemen” you mocked

“Oh haha you’re so funny aren’t you Barbie” topper said sarcastically

You were about to come up with a remark when he suddenly turned to you stopping you in your tracks looking at you seriously.

“Hey can we like uh talk somewhere?” He questioner awkwardly.

“Yeah of course top Ik a good place” you motioned him to follow you in a set of bushes near the woods looking around once you got there for any horny drunk teens only to find none.

“Is everything ok topper? You’re never really serious unless something is wrong” you said worrying you know a conversation with topper was serious when you said his name and not a nickname.

“I know you’re friends with pope and I’m with Sarah but I can’t talk to Sarah or rafe and Kelce the way I can with you I feel like the real me I had forgotten about and you help me find it again, I don’t know I guess I got slightly jealous seeing you dance with Pope and laughing while wearing his hoodie” topper said quickly

You put your hands on either side of his cheek making him look you in the eyes you stared at him in an adoring way “topper I feel the same but I’m a pogue you’re a kook even though we understand one another not everyone can see it that way, I mean rafe could unfriend you Sarah wouldn’t be around and I don’t want you to lose that because of me” you said softly

“I know I know it just sucks because I do really like you I want To be with you, don’t get me wrong I like Sarah too but I feel pressured because of my parents saying and putting words into my head makes me wonder if I really like her or if I just think I do, but one thing for sure I know I like you” topper stated stepping closer

By this time Sarah was looking for topper him being gone far to long for “getting a drink” when she neared the keg topper was no where insight “hey kie I know you hate me but have you seen topper? He was getting drinks and now he is gone” Sarah explained looking around

“ I saw him walk down the beach following someone too dark to tell who, I know what you’re thinking that I’m saying that to upset you like or whatever but I’m not” kie defended rolling her eyes.

“No I can tell when your lying I believe you thank you” Sarah said walking off in the direction joe pointed too.

“Topper I like you too but I don’t know how this could work and I don’t want to hurt you saying this but I also like pope but we don’t flirt nearly as much as we do he doesn’t know I like him” you said looking down not wanting to hurt him

“ hey hey it’s ok friends who spend all the time together are bound to catch feelings whether it’s one sided or not I’m not upset thank you for being honest” he said smiling softly tucking some hair behind your ear you smiled leaning into his soft touch.

Pope was a little further down the beach then Sarah was pope sat in front of the fire with a marshmallow on a stick while John b laughed at pope trying to teach JJ how to roast a perfect marshmallow for the worlds best s’mores, “JJ you need to hold both hands one on top of the other at the bottom of the stick and then push your marshmallow down at the top till the stick poked through the marshmallow so it won’t fall into the fire and waste the marshmallow, then you hold it just above the flames. No not like that it’s too close you will catch the marshmallow on fire....again. Now you wait 5 mins then rotate it to the other side and then wait 5 mins and do the same all over so it gets a perfect brown shade don’t catch it on fire because one it’s bitter two it is a lot more hot and three some sparks could be left on it that you can’t see and will burn the shit out of your tongue possible 2nd degree burn that grants a hospital visit now you see mine is perfectly brown on all sides now you take your graham crackers and put the marshmallow on one then the chocolate then you sandwich it all together like so and bam you’ve got yourself the worlds best s’more” Pope said with a chefs kiss after he did a technical tutorial on the proper way to make a smore for the poor boy who has never learned how.

“Eww mine looks like toe cheese” JJ said grimacing.

“ I don’t want to know why you know that man.” John b said watching it play out amusingly.

“Just eat it JJ it’s good the best ever honestly, off topic have you seen y/n I havnt seen her in 30 mins” pope asked curiously

“Aww pope you have a crush on the baby pogue” JJ said teasingly

“JJ leave him alone who cares if he likes her damn, but uh I saw her walk the way” John b Pointed in the direction you had went

Pope stood up nodding his head going in that direction to look for the girl he was soo in love with still ahead of Sarah.

You could feel the tension between you and topper being so close to one another he started to lean on slowly and you did too not being in control of your body you were so lost in his eyes your lips finally touched and it was slow and passionate and it felt like time has stopped just as it was getting more heated you heard a twig snap and looked behind topper to see a wide eyed pope standing there.

“ y/n....what’s going on why are you kissing topper ???” Pope asks shocked

“I..I” you stuttered startled that pope who you like caught you kissing another guy you also like

“Topper you there?” You heard Sarah’s voice from behind a tree

“He’s right here” Pope deadpanned looking you straight in the eye

“ topper there yo- what are you two doing?” Sarah asked confused

“We were just talking babe.” Topper said softly

“Yeah If by talking you mean tongues in each other’s mouths” pope said angrily

Sarah stares between you and topper shocked “is..is this true topper?” Sarah asked quietly when topper looked down and didn’t say anything she knew her answer.

“Wow and after all I’ve told you about my past and you do this, you told me you loved me” Sarah said walking away.

“Pope look I ca-“ you were cut off by pope speaking

“No no you don’t get to talk right now, I thought you liked me? I know you never said it but I can pick up some ques, I gave you my favorite hoodie so you were warm I danced with you and I stood for an hour waiting for you and you never showed. Was I just a toy for you to use when topper isn’t here?” Pope asked sad

“What no of course not I like you a lot Pope I really do, but I also like topper as well and I’m so confused I don’t know why or how anything would work with any of us with the no pogue on pogue macking rule and the whole kook vs pogue thing I...I just don’t know” you said ashamed

“Wow, you were just talking shit about topper the other day and now you like him? I’m sorry y/n I can’t do this right now you don’t like me because if you did you wouldn’t have has another guy so pick topper” Pope said tears in his eyes leaving the seen fast.

You looked at topper tears running down your face he immediately wrapped you In his arms rubbing your head as a loud sob shot out of your body and a bunch of oh my gods.

“Hey hey it’s ok just let him cool down and then you can speak it him rationally I’m not mad you like us both I get it all I ask is that you give me a chance and Pope too and then when you’re ready you can choose who you want or choose neither of us” topper said reassuringly.

You pulled out of his embrace nodding your head as you wiped your tears away planning on what to tell pope when everything is calmed down.