#i also dont rly have anything healthy here

[baekuras]

Well after half of us got sick at work last week my body decided to speedrun getting sick from monday to “My nose is now starting to full on run, my head aches because it’s all stuffed, my throat hurts and feels like it’s so dry it sticks together, my stomach is upset not in a pukey way but just in a generally unhappy way AND because of all that I also don’t feel hungry+eating hurts” today

i literally just needed to hold out till saturday because otherwise we are like 3 people come on body be sick next week, hold out this one week

[raineyana]

What is your normal grocery list? I’m about to be living at a dorm and I am looking for stuff to stock up on, I can’t really keep frozen foods though

i actually dont even cook all that much so i dont keep a lot of frozen foods either. this is my regular list when i go, usually weekly.

FASTING FOODS

okay so youre probably like. raine you arent supposed to eat anything when you fast. hear me out bc this is how i consistently fast a 20-4 schedule everyday, with a lot less binges than before, AND getting all of the benefits of fasting. and yeah, i still binge from time to time, but my binges are far less because my stomach actually cannot handle being fed over 1000 calories anymore, especially not all at once.

these are my ESSENTIALS so theyre pretty much the only things i consistently buy weekly.

cucumbers

chicken broth (0cal kind)

seaweed snacks

pickled ginger

tea (any, but i like trying new flavors ! my favorite is lemon ginger because it helps digestion, and green tea because it speeds up your metabolism. also a lot healthier than diet coke with the same amount of caffeine, also less likely to spike your blood sugar and kick you out of ketosis- which will make your cravings for food much worse)

...dont get me wrong i couldnt live without diet coke. but sometimes ill go for the healthier option.

why i eat these foods while i fast

these are foods that have extremely low cals and carbs (like less than 2 grams per/serving) so they wont kick you out of ketosis (which is the major benefit to fasting, where your body burns fat at a higher rate). when youre in ketosis, your body stops sending you as many cravings, which is why sometimes it feels easier to fast 24 hours after you last ate as opposed to 3 hours.

because i spend the majority of my time fasting, (and i would never be able to do that without these foods) i go through these items pretty quick.

but otherwise i only have to buy other healthy foods on a biweekly or even monthly basis, because i wont eat them as fast ! heres some things i rotate through depending on how sick of them i am lol.

regular food

built bars - essential for me. tons of protein, less sugar than other bars, and relatively low cal.

somebody on here introduced me to these and im soo glad they did. i dont remember who but if youre seeing this ilysm.

tuna creations packets - rly good for on the go, tons of flavors, lots of protein so they're really filling for only being 70-90cals depending on the flavor

blueberries + apples - so hard to over eat these two items, plus fiber

rice cakes - self explanatory

pistachios or sunflower seeds - great for curbing hunger, but im a little sick of them rn

a low cal air popped popcorn - i forget which brand i have rn, but its pretty good and has a lot of fiber.

chobani yogurt + yogurt protein drinks (50cal) - the fact that these r 50cals amaze me for how good they taste. the yogurt drinks are my favorite bc theres actually a shit ton of protein and taste pretty good without actually having to make myself a protein shake. the cookies and cream and peaches and cream are my favorites ive tried. good for breaking a fast with.

thats all i can think of atm ! sry for the fucking essay i hope this was a little helpful at least.

typing this out manically made me realize im a little crazy. i cant say with my whole chest that you should listen to me and my d1sordered thoughts, but i think everyone on here knows that already so... uh

please be kind to yourselves. take ur vitamins (even while fasting) i genuinely love you all every one of you fucked up bitches like me.

goodnight <3

[rontra]

I have never played persona so I wasn't sure if I would understand your failteacher comics but I just looked up the characters for a little bit of context and I'm 👀👀👀👀 at it now xD

Without being too spoiler-y, why would you say they'd have a messy relationship? (Besides the fact of Becky taking advantage of her client's loneliness)

HAHAHA yea i think the like dramatic irony enjoyment of knowing (even just roughly) what's going on with becky is very strong so good on you there (obviously toriumi has no idea what's going on with her and becky is doing her best to Handle It, but it contextualizes her behavior for Us...<3)

it's yummy isnt it... its yummy

anyway, the rest of this very long post is just me analyzing a fictional situation i myself engineered, so if that sounds boring please dont click the Read More LMFAO <- cursed to put a lot of thought into Character Stuff

basically they have great potential for mess, which they're Currently keeping a lid on, but would exponentially increase with time. teehee.

as for what WILL happen, im not spoiling anything concrete of course… (winks at the Knowers who already know my Vision….

well, this AU isn't ever going to devolve into a "super destructive toxic nightmare" mess or anything, just to get our working definitions of 'mess' sorted out at the top of the post. not this time. atm (as of comic #3) it's shaping up more like a "this seems . inadvisable and absolutely Don't Try This At Home, but i guess it won't…kill you" mess (LMAO)

to assess their situation at present… there is one half who wants money (and can't ever make enough of it to satisfy her extortionists), and one half who wants intimacy (and is scared and unable to get it on her own). on its exterior face, it's simply a lonely person hiring a professional to keep them company, which is a fairly common thing n not rly super noteworthy; the parentheticals are what make things a bit uh thorny for these characters

the "problem" here is not the transaction itself; they're both willing to supply their half of the trade just fine, and neither party is doing anything wrong by engaging in it. but for these two specifically, there is also a mutual willingness to bend the rules of their transaction—because they're both cornered in some way, and desperate for what the other one is offering to trade

to elaborate on "rules", i mean, first and foremost, that their relationship is not "real"—these people Don't know each other personally and intimately, and they're Not Supposed To. their relationship should never be "real"; they're not friends! (or lovers, for that matter!) they're in a conditional exchange of money for services. right now, these characters are participating in and maintaining a kayfabe; they should operate under a tacit understanding that A) this is not real, B) they both fully know it's not real, and C) following the script is the comfortable way to get what they both want without causing undue risk to either party. creating and then maintaining a fake "reality" together is regulated by a contract between them, and it ends when their booked time ends (and not a minute over time!)

but to return to the earlier point, they're also both cornered and desperate, which drives them both to go beyond what might be considered appropriate. i think this is compelling; it's probably unnecessary of me to add this paragraph but i want to underline (just in case) that i don't think either of them is like "at fault" or w/e (there is no "villain" between them). they're showing Signs Of Mess that could snowball into something much more messy, but it's not something they're doing to hurt each other; they're making decisions based on skewed risk/reward estimations that might not be healthy, and could realistically have harmful consequences for both parties, but they're not, like, Evil (lol). two women getting wrapped up in each other's personal graveyard spirals…it's yuri, isn't it?

with that squared away, and putting it plainly;

toriumi should not be asking her to "break character" when the character itself is what she's paying for; this nudging of their little kayfabe, if indulged, could easily snowball and erode the professional boundaries between them (what she calls "distance" in #3). she is paying 'becky' to 'be here' (paying kawakami to conjure 'becky' into existence by pretending to be her), but she isn't really being mindful of the type of role that this necessarily demands of her in turn. the built-in emotional walls between them are there to protect both of them, but she doesn't fully respect them (despite instinctively sensing their protection in how "safe" becky feels to her). in the end, toriumi is bad at "staying in character" herself, and she can't help but try to root out the actual person behind the mask—despite the fact that no one wants this erosion to happen! possible dire consequences for her wallet aside, losing sight of the line between "transaction" and "investment" (pardon the pun) is a one-way ticket to a very messy place where one or both of them is likely to get hurt...

on the other end, and not helping the situation at all, kawakami identified toriumi as a soft target pretty much immediately, and is actively trying to elicit sympathy and endear herself to her (she is being quite choosy about what vulnerabilities she "lets slip" in #2) in order to make her keep booking and paying. of course some amount of "salesmanship" is part of the job—#grindset always be plugging smash that like button comment n subscribe—but the major difference here is that she's overtly attempting to foster in her client the exact kind of dependency/personal attachment she should be discouraging (for, frankly, both of their safety). like not only is she out fishing to get toriumi hook line and sinker on purpose, but it's also alarmingly reckless behavior on kawakami's part; there's a lack of regard for her own wellbeing involved here on top of it all. again, a messy place where someone, maybe everyone, gets hurt in the end

crucially though, as comic #3 finishes setting up, they're both willing to endure these shenanigans from the other half. at this stage, toriumi does realize that kawakami has her unilaterally wrapped around her finger, and nonetheless agrees that she'll call her again; while kawakami knows very well how this kayfabe is supposed to work, but is indulgent (even rewarding) towards toriumi for her clumsiness. that mutual willingness to keep playing this game would—if the AU continued on these tracks uninterrupted—probably compound until the situation they've made becomes super confusing and unclear for them emotionally...

of course "taking advantage" is sort of a loaded phrase colloquially… but i would say in many ways they are "taking advantage" of each other, yea. the "we both benefit, so it's okay" logic was already vaguely raised as justification in #3; if elaborated a bit with the above in mind, their situation is one where "even if they're both overstepping what is considered appropriate for their arrangement, they've also both decided the benefits outweigh the costs by a wide enough margin to make it worthwhile"

it's got the marks of a sort of symbiotic relationship... their individual motivations for being involved w each other are totally unrelated (cue the "hold on, does. kawakami even like women???" question), but they both feel they benefit enough towards their priority goals to be OK with the other one taking something "less valuable" from them (toriumi even calls out the “sales pitch” becky is doing in #2, but ultimately decides that’s fine because she’s willing to buy). i think each and every moving part here has great capacity to go "too far" and ruin things (perhaps even causing Severe damage in the collapse), but if the situation were to continue in this same rhythm, without that kind of dramatic change, i would say "they're both evaluating the scenario with their own personal goals in mind, and are extracting what they want from one another relatively(?) peacefully(??)". like it might ultimately be a selfish game but they're adults they'll figure it out probably idk its none of my business what they choose to get up to. wouldn't get into that type of shit myself though LOL

women are playing kind of dangerous games with each other but i forgive them because it's interesting to rotate in my mind...<3

another thorn to consider for their future bonding endeavors from here on ofc is that without being "cornered" the way they are, they would not be running this type of "risk math" in the first place. it's hard for either of them to fully back away at this point because they're already cornered in their personal lives; toriumi is incredibly isolated and lonely with a pretty insecure lifestyle even when she's NOT actively sawing through the branch she's sitting on, and kawakami famously MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW because she's being extorted by an unrelated third party. looking ahead it does kind of start to look like an ouroboros of "taking advantage of each other" bc it's hard for both of them to leave their individual situations; it's kind of like, if they weren't here with each other they'd be ... well, they'd be here—just with someone else...

they didn't put each other in this jam—it was unrelated personal circumstances and sheer coincidence that pushed them together—but now that they've committed to each other, it's hard to reverse back out, if that makes sense. i think that kind of thing is interesting too, because it makes me want to see them recognize this, connect, and help each other pull out of their Greater individual personal messes. you know? we can make it if we try... just the two of us... 😔

(unfortunately step 1 of that is ofc to make a genuine personal bond that isn't wrapped up in all this for-pay roleplay stuff. drat!)

tl;dr they're both simmering under high pressure and don't try this at home, but they do already have a sort of tacit agreement forming that this level of messy play is OK between them—as long as the rewards continue to outweigh the risks. at the end of the day, it's a delicate balance ultimately hinging on a money-for-services transaction, so if either of them stopped feeling like paying their half was worth it, it would rapidly come apart. i guess it's kinda like the ways you can tell if animals are genuinely beefing or just playing rough—are they willingly coming back? 💀 ...

no lmao where's that post thats like "this would be terrible if it was anyone else, but considering the people involved this is actually the best option" HRBHJDJG that's kind of how it feels. like if they're gonna be stuck with Somebody (and they would be), its probably good luck that they got Each Other. at least the narrative can sustain the balance of this one and maybe even solve it down the line. heart

to round this post off i would say if i had to nominate one of them, kawakami is probably the most "in control" atm—since she figured out very quickly that she was dealing with an easy mark and moved in to make her a regular customer (quite successfully i might add per the end of #3 lmaoo). i think that's been kinda fun, since in her SLink she's immediately on the back foot due to being unmasked by the inciting incident. we know she will lie and attempt to play to the listener's sympathy, so unleashing her with her Mask Still On has been fun 😭 for her part, toriumi is not only taken with the funny maid (& emotionally invested in her IRL situation to boot), but also very clumsily trying to obtain something she's scared to have, which makes her very impulsive/erratic in her rulebreaking compared to kawakami's much more intentional plays...

play of the game 🧹 (<- there's no maid emoji idk its housekeeping)

of course, my future plans will immediately jostle this entire dynamic into something else and make this whole post obsolete, but i don't wanna lay that out ahead of time. smiles.

anyway, otome dissection on the playlist or whatever

[lemontongues]

yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.

yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy

he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day

he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!

idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[thatbitchsimone]

Is it weird that I want to gain weight??? Seems like a lot of these questions are concerned with the opposite. But honestly I don’t feel good about being so bony and tiny looking. People always think I’m 15 when I’m 21… I’m so used to eating small amounts, so I’m finding it hard to increase my intake because I get full so easily. Do you have any tips? Thanks mother thatbitchsimone <3

not weird at all. ive known a few girls that struggled with this when i was growing up and its probably been even more common lately since we are just leaving the era of a body ideal that is all about curves and and being ”slim thicc” rather than just being slim. i mean just look at the whole bbl craze.

i also 100 % understand where ur coming from with the age thing. once u enter adulthood and u start feeling that ur not a girl anymore but a woman, u will want to be viewed as a woman and desired as a woman and not as a teenage girl. like most women our age dont want to look like teens bc we have outgrown it and we are eager to finally be actual grown women and treated as such like no one wants to feel like a child in their 20s. looking younger than u are wont feel like a good thing at this age bc we have literally just left puberty lol looking younger wont rly feel like a good thing until ur like 35 bc then looking younger doesnt mean looking like a little high schooler anymore

my advice would be to start snacking a lot. that way u will eat more without having to push ur body to its limit during ur meals. dont fall into the trap of pushing urself to eat even tho u feel full and can barely get anything more down without feeling sick or like ur absolutely stuffed like u shouldnt have to make urself feel physically uncomfortable or ill. u can however eat even tho ur not hungry. just snack between meals more. its a good start and a smart option when bigger meals are harder for u to take in. another way to get around this would be to drink ur calories. dont just start gulping down a bunch of sugar packed soda tho bc we gotta remember that we are trying to be at least somewhat healthy here and not risk or increase our chances of getting ill or causing harm to the body. but maybe smoothies or stuff like starbucks type drinks or even just milk and yoghurt or stuff like that. just drinks that have calories. or just straight up drink soup lmao its liquid after all like the effect will be the same. please dont go too hard tho. please take it slow. i know ur eager to get ur weight up and want to see changes as soon as possible but u need to be patient just like ppl who try to lose weight need to be patient. u gotta be cautious and not get carried away.

[ay-chuu]

hiee im here 4 the matching event (bungo stray dogs pls)!! also pls stay safe with the earthquake and stuff thats going on!!!!!

i'm 21, 5'2", and i have brown hair and green eyes !!

zodiac: scorpio

mbti: istj

hobbies:

going on nature walks and taking pictures of bugs and birds!! i love birding but im new to it

drawing!!! and writing sometimes

listening to music or just reading abt my current hyperfix !!

i bake occasionally but im new to it still

things i hate:

people who are rude asf to other people for no reason and take their anger out on others (kunikida and chuuya dont count theyre special and kind they just have a temper)

loud noises

ppl who go out of their way to hurt bugs 4 no reason. like killing them is fine if theyre in ur house but u dont have to torture them ):

Favorite things:

my fav games are probably tf2 and hollow knight! i also dabble in minecraft !!

my fav genre of movie is horror and one of my favs is cloverfield or scream!! i love creature features and kaiju movies too!!

i love all sorts of music but i listen to a lot of indie/alternative music and alternative rock!!!! the only music i dont rly like is country.

ummm idk if i have an idol >_< but i think zoology is cool. i will ask plz dont match me with mori or tanizaki if thats ok !!

Hi! Thanks for your good wishes love! You cant know how much i admire them! (ɔ˘ ³(ˆ‿ˆc)

I match you with... (っ＾▿＾)💨

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA!

First of all, from an MBTI and astrological point of view, your zodiac signs are healthy compatible, while your MBTIs will arrive at the perfect match except for some toxic aspects of the two sides! By the way, Atsushi loves looking into your green eyes and kissing your eyelids! :3 I can imagine you playing with his bangs too!

Your outlook on life, your hobbies and the secret softness of your personality makes Atsushi very happy. Because while he couldn't even had time to experience and love some simple things throughout his life, you are very determined to hold his hand and bring it to the top in the spiritual sense. Burnt or not, he will love to eat anything you cook. And he will suggest making an album of the photos you took <3

your logic and knowledge of certain things will save him from acting on his feelings. And his curiosity and gentleness in everything will make you feel satisfied about the issues that you may have been missing for years. Atsushi takes great care to do his best for you and be a therapist lover the way you are to him. By the way, your love for different creatures makes him feel at peace with himself and this is one of his favorite qualities about you! <3

I think that the thing he can't stand about you is your courage haha! Because you like to try new things and not avoid scary things, sometimes you give him minor heart attacks KJSDLFJASLDFG he's more of a happy-go-lucky type on his mind. But don't be afraid! By sacrificing some moments to each other, you are not hurting each other and you are solving this problem!

I can see your relationship progressing by talking and solving each other's past troubles and I can see you find peace in each other <3 Some of your memories: the way you shouted and jumping at Atsushi who almost stepped on a bug while hiking, the first kiss you shared on the first mountain you climbed together, hugging on the sofa while talking to each other at home and you excitedly introduce the new rock music you listen while he feels like his ears are bleeding but still has same excitement like you T^T

And finally, a personal comment: What you wrote about bugs made me smile because it was so sweet and tragicomic that you added something like that when everyone else was adding bugs to things they hate. 😭😭

Hope you'll like it! <3

[intersex-questions]

oh yeah, I'm sure that I have received bigotry due to my hyperandrogenism, I just have no idea how to separate it from the transphobia. A lot of my experiences that come to mind could rly be seen either way. And I'm nervous abt trying to be in intersex spaces bc I feel like starting hrt kinda makes the point moot. Like, the only proof I have of being intersex is high t levels, but I'm going ahead and making them high on purpose. idk I kinda want to try to check out the community but im also nervous that i'd be seen as a perisex trans person whose invading a space that isn't intended for me. (esp since my doctor essentially said that if i was a cis woman he wouldve looked into my hormone levels, but since im trans they arent significant)

Also, side question: what would i need to look out for with t levels that are too high? bc my doctor is not familiar w transmasc ppl (he usually does transfem) but he's my best option atm. I had my first t shot literally a couple hrs ago and my next blood test is in two months. he also didnt say anything abt starting with a lower dose. feel like i might be winging it a bit here.

Something that some people consider a key experience to being intersex are having faced bigotry due to it. I know earlier you said you felt like you hadn't really had an intersex experience, so I thought that might make you feel more validated. But you dont have to have experienced that to make you intersex!

I don't think that HRT makes you being intersex moot at all. Being intersex has shaped your life before being on HRT and it isn't something you can lose even if your body becomes more similar to certain things associated with being perisex. But I understand how you feel! I felt like that when I went on HRT too. I thought I was stripping myself of being intersex. But I wasn't!

Personally I think your levels are significant even if you are trans because it will affect how your body responds to HRT.

A good and responsible doctor should be closely monitoring your T levels once you start HRT and start you off at a dose based on your levels. You should probably be microdosing if you have hyperandrogenism. I currently take 0.13mL and have T levels that of the average cis man. The average dose is 0.3mL. Monitoring your T levels closely is important to figure out if you should lower your T dosage for your health or if it's safe to increase the dose (if you want to dose higher).

You should be getting labs done every month or two as well that check things besides just T level. These include but are not limited to:

A lipids panel/test (tests stuff like cholesterol—there is much debate whether or not higher cholesterol causes or is related to heart issues and disease but it's currently widely accepted that it does)

A hemocrit/red blood cell count and platelet test

A CBC/white blood cell test

A comprehensive metabolic panel

It's also important that you are aware that testosterone HRT can cause issues with bone density. Make sure your doctor is aware of that and take steps to ensure your bone density is healthy. This may involve screening.

I'm not an expert on the tests you get either especially since your results generally shouldn't be interpreted by anyone besides your doctor(s). Another test I once got was a test to determine how much of the thing that binds to testosterone in my blood I have and what my free testosterone (T not being used by the body) count was to figure out why my T levels were so high. The results were completely normal since I have hyperandrogenism.

I don't know how it is with most trans people but I have a team of several people who work with me and I go through an endocrinologist. Some endocrinology clinics have trans healthcare not advertised super openly.

I'd also like to say you aren't and won't be invading intersex spaces. If anyone tells you that, including other intersex people, they are exclusionists. Intersex spaces have exclusionists who try to gatekeep who is and isn't intersex. These people don't matter. Fuck 'em! You also don't ever owe anyone your diagnosis or any proof of being intersex. You don't need to tell them how you're intersex. You don't owe anyone anything at all and if someone tries to make you feel like you do, again, fuck 'em. You don't have to separate being trans and intersex either. They can be related for you, both in body and mind.

Might I suggest you look into altersex? Altersex is a term that means any individuals who want or currently have a body that doesn't match cisgender standards for their AGAB or perisex standards for their AGAB. This includes transmascs who have clitoromegaly from being on T HRT. It includes intersex people. It includes people who don't have but want gender nullification surgery. It includes people who want nonhuman genitalia. And more! It is an umbrella term that is welcome to intersex and perisex people alike. I've seen many people use the term, believing they're perisex, only to find out they're intersex and they used altersex as a way to help them realize and be comfortable with the idea that they were born the way they are. Altersex has other microlabels as well and there are alternative labels to it.

I used to want to be intersex thinking it was for gender reasons but it turned out it was because it genuinely explained how I was born and live.

[snekdood]

even if you dont believe that you only live once you should live like you do imo

[easy-revenge]

Do you think Aki liked Himeno romantically or that he would have liked her in that way if Makima hadn't put him under her control?

i got another ask almost identical to this so im answering for both here.

there are a lot of ways to interpret this. I'll speak on what I think based on canon and what i also headcanon about them.

its difficult for me to analyse aki's romantic feelings for both himeno and angel. I've kind of been going around it. i always get somewhere and then im like: he doesn't have free will, though. he's not in control of his feelings at all. and boom, everything is debunked.

however, based on canon, i think there was some kind of attraction. im not sure if it was strictly romantic, or sexual. i think there was a strong connection between them. strong enough for a seemingly cold and collected guy like aki to feel comfortable with physical proximity and even platonic intimacy.

its safe to assume that aki knew about himeno's feelings for him. or rather, he had the info for it. ive gotten the impression that he turned a blind eye to it, not rly intentionally but not subconsciously either.

it could be bc of makima, or bc of his own hesitance. himeno is his friend and his mentor and she's flirty with everyone so maybe she doesn't mean it. that kind of thing. maybe he didn't know how he felt, didn't really know how to interpret the type of love he felt. maybe he didn't do anything bc he was dying soon.

there's always the possibility of him not being interested ofc. it just doesn't feel right to me. we've seen aki around ppl he considers friends. the energy between him and himeno is charged in a way that betrays...something...on his part as well.

personally i headcanon that he did like her. again, maybe romantically is a strong word for it. i think he understands the dependency she has on him and i feel like aki gets fulfillment from being needed. having someone to protect. that builds a bond.

i think there's attraction on his part too. i cant rly explain it beyond like getting the vibe from their scenes together. i think there is enough attraction for them to have slept together a couple times, which aki doesn't feel great about bc himeno is in love with him and he thinks he is in love with makima.

if makima didn't exist, do i think they'd be together? i dont know. i literally cannot tell or decide whether aki could be properly in love with himeno, even if he was in complete control of his mind, or if their closeness came from a place of need for something to make them whole and not healthy romantic attraction.

this is all over the place im sorry lmao but it think this mess is representative of aki's mind in a way.

he's stuck up on revenge. he doesn't know himself. makes a point of it. he performs as this character he's created to make his goal possible and he's not even good at it.

he feels this inexplicable pull towards makima and somehow fits it comfortably into his life. he's probably not meant to rly pursue her, the crush is probably supposed to work as motivation and drive.

we cant really expect this man to have the capacity to break down a bond between two very broken ppl. that's why i think I'll never be able to answer basic questions like these without going on for paragraphs and paragraphs.

i cant see it ever being that simple for them, sadly.

[lesbianinlovewithgenyasafin]

Seijoh headcanons bc they’re my fav team

This entire team is like really good friends

They’re over at each other’s houses all the time

Kunimi will just walk into Mattsun’s house and make toast and leave, all while Mattsun is making coffee. They don’t say a word to each other

Oikawa’s house is home base because his parents are really nice but they also both work so sometimes the house is empty and that’s nice

He also has a pool and when they’re over on the weekends, Oikawa’s parents love it bc they love hosting sm

Kyoutani surprisingly has a rly close family and his mom is like so nice?? And no one gets it

Kindaichi and Kunimi didn’t know what to expect from Seijoh and definitely weren’t expecting this chaotic mess of a team that can get serious when they need to

Seijoh seriously is like the perfect mix of chaos and like determination and they really like how everyone thinks their team is so scary and just 😼😠 when really they’re just an on-fire house

This team cannot be nice to each other for anything

They constantly insult each other while simultaneously making each other better

Practices are relatively tame

Except for the drama

Because most of the team is gay and dating each other, there is so much drama to get to that point

Kyouhaba get into fights constantly and Yahaba Scares them

The only people who “insult” Oikawa are the other third years at first

But then Yahaba starts doing it too and the first time he says something everyone falls quiet except Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki who are laughing their asses off

Kunimi will make fun of anyone on their team

But the minute someone insults his teammates he goes feral

They’re all so protective of each other despite the shit they give each other

They learned this from Iwa

Kunimi and Yahaba become friends once they realize that they both lowkey have crushes on Oikawa

Despite having crushes on Iwa, Kyoutani and Kindaichi Do Not talk about it amongst themselves

Oikawa knows but Iwa doesn’t and the rest of the third years think it’s really funny

Makki and Mattsun are offended that no one has a crush on them and when Kindaichi overhears them complaining ab this, he Helpfully gives them really sincere compliments that are kind of unnecessary and he immediately acts like he didn’t say anything

Makki and Mattsun don’t say anything for the rest of practice because What The Fuck do you say to that

At first, Kunimi and Kindaichi were actually really distant from the team and didn’t like talking to their upperclassmen bc they weren’t used to such a close team

This isn’t Kageyama slander I love him but they’re still mad at him in their first year

But they dont rly talk to anyone on the team for a bit until training camp at Seijoh and IwaOi pulls them aside and they have as much of a heart-to-heart as either sides can handle (which isn’t much more than “you can talk to us ab anything, so if there’s anything bothering you etc….”) it’s so fucking awkward and IwaOi starts bickering halfway through

But it does the trick. They don’t talk ab anything but they start to make more of an effort to talk to the rest of the team (read: the third years refuse to let them not be apart of the team)

Did their team egg Shiratorizawa dorms? Possibly. Did they all only throw like one egg apiece bc they were scared and just wanted to get out of there because it was a Bad Idea? Definitely

Seijoh may be like one of the best schools in the prefecture, but they literally don’t have any teams that they’re buddy-buddy with

Karasuno has Date Tech and Nekoma, and Seijoh is out here just on their self-made ice berg bc other teams either think they’re weird or mean

They’re just too competitive for a healthy rivalry

The coaches hate them for this

Oikawa never really made his team exercise as punishment (unless the coaches made them do it) but Yahaba is a Big Fan of just telling anyone “Laps” as captain

He’s a dictator

Anyway idk how to end this but yeah here’s my brain worms

[astrobei]

hi astro (hope thats ok if i call you that!) heard you wanted interactions 👁 just wanted to say i absolutely adore your fics and i can tell how much love and passion was put into each and every one of them. so my question for you is, whats your favorite fic to write? what exuded the most emotion for you and what you feel like is your magnus opus? this can be multiple answers because you deserve to be proud of a lot of your works since theyre all great! have a great time wherever you are 🎉

omg YELLING that is so cute 😭 yes ofc u can call me that !! that is soooo kind of u !! seriously idk smth abt this compliment just . is so personal to me bc i Do probably care more abt my fics than i should for someone who is a full time student w a job but i just Cannot help it,, anyways thank u sm that made me smile so big i’m hugging u so tight 🫂🫂 and ooohhgg boy ok never ask me my favorite Anything bc i will not shut up abt it ! for me i think my fav fics of mine to write would be either you can hear it in the silence or i might be hoping about this which are both so deeply personal to me and i probably projected more than is feasibly healthy in both of them,, oops! and ik u did not ask for an Analysis but u are going to get one anyway so settle down grab some popcorn here we gooo

ok so idk about Magnum Opus but . you can hear it in the silence is probably the most personal fic i have ever written and the closest to a magnum opus i’ll ever get bc 1. i relate so deeply to mike wheeler as is and this was kind of how i interpreted his struggle w his identity and coming into himself just as a teenager navigating that weird place between high school and college and figuring out your interests and who u are,, and 2. full disclosure bc we’re all Friends here i Did write this fic right after a long distance relationship ended earlier in the summer which definitely influenced my decision to write it in the first place and 3. idk! there were so many aspects of this fic that were just me projecting, like mike getting the older sister mentor figure he deserves (i love nancy but she is Not the greatest older sister ok) and learning to take his time w things when you feel like u dont have enough of it,, anyways i would say this fic is probably my Favorite ive written ! it’s rly hard for me to reread my works but this one ive read back a few times and i actually. enjoy it?

i might be hoping about this is also rly special to me because IDK i just want what they have in this fic so bad dsdfjsdfj like. tender intimacy w someone who knows u better than u know urself! never having to feel like a burden to someone who loves u because they r happy to take care of u even when u can’t do the same,, idk i just think will byers deserves everything good in the world, and i really liked exploring his relationship to illness/his past trauma in this fic, especially since it was my first time writing established relationship! i Did have to step away from my laptop multiple times while writing this to scream into my pillow (literally im not exaggerating guys) because it was just so soft! and i felt so Lonely! anyways this is also a very special fic to me ik im literally the one who wrote it but GODDAMN i made myself sad.

thank u so much for the kind message again! i know u literally did not Ask for this page long analysis of my own writing but i am nothing if not incapable of being succinct so. <3

[ncghtshifts]

serves up. my second child on a silver platter. not as lovable bt thts ok........ lets all put on our horse blinders...........

◜     *     :     drew     starkey     .     demiman     &     they/he     .     pink     in     the     night     by     mitski     .     ━━     the     legend     surrounding     london’s     l’academiae     furorum     would     not     be     complete     without     ZEPHYR     CASIMIR     MONTANA     FOGELMAN     .     the     academy's     TWENTY     -     SEVEN     year     old     GUEST     ARTIST     has     been     with     furore     for     FIVE     MONTHS     ,     oft     described     as     VERBOSE     ,     VAINGLORIOUS     ,     IMPRUDENT     ,     BEGUILING     &     has     proved     utterly     indispensable     to     the     company.     in     passing     ,     they’ve     come     to     be     associated     with     CIGARETTES     YOU     SHOULDN'T     BE     SMOKING     ,     A     COCKTAIL     OF     BODY     SPRAYS     AND     COLOGNES     STOLEN     FROM     STRANGERS     -     WHOEVER     CAUGHT     YOUR     ATTENTION     THESE     LAST     FEW     DAYS     &     the     product     of     three     overbearing     parents     ,     as     spoiled     as     they     come     and     not     afraid     to     show     it     .     running     into     rehearsal     late     for     the     third     time     that     week     ,     lipstick     mark     staining     the     collar     of     your     shirt     -     effortless     in     everything     you     do     .     you     truly     believe     you     are     the     best     and     everyone     around     will     know     it     if     you     have     anything     to     do     with     it     .    whether     this     will     be     their     final     curtain     call     is     anyone's     guess     &     the     company’s     worst     nightmare  .

background

if u asked monty’s dads if they were psychics they wld say yes bc they cldnt imagine picking a better surrogate to carry monty, their birth mum was still a HUGE part of their life growing up n the family always did everything together - they each chose one of their names if the absolute absurdity of it wasn’t obvious

born in brisbane, australia, monty grew up WILDLY spoiled, got only the best dance teachers and was a part of the best ballet academy in australia

there was a lot of expectation put onto them, not that their parents weren’t rly supportive and loving bt its very . jackson from sex education feeling where if they wanted to spend a night to themselves their parents wld b like . :) i dont hear ur toes breaking, silly!!!!!!!!!!

eventually the pressure caught up to them when they become a principal dancer - cue natalie portman in black swan except naur nowhere near that bad ofc but they definitely got no sleep and their body was falling apart with the amount of work they were putting into it without fueling it properly

it just ended with a heated argument that monty attempted to turn violent but they literally just collapsed in on themselves and woke up 2 days later after finally catching up on all the sleep they’d been missing for eons to hear that they were demoted in the academy

ofc their dads paid off all directors involved to keep the whole incident quiet and monty immediately applied for guest artist positions to escape the australian academy (did not name it. n i shant. i am not creative enough fr tht)

after a few years monty got offers instead of applying themselves but they’re always paranoid that their past will catch up to them

details

this is monty’s 2nd season as a guest artist w the academy :yum:

still practices far too much to b considered healthy bt away from gazing eyes - has THE WORST attitude to them where they act like they’re jst naturally the best to get into the heads of other dancers when they’re just as bad

just has the most lackadaisical attitude to them, doesn’t want anyone to think they’re taking this too seriously

claims they can ‘see auras’ so they know who is and isn’t worth their time

mean to be mean but also if they like u will go above and beyond as a friend

believes if they were to b monogamous someone would b missing out. jst thinks the world of themselves frankly.

so so so dramatic

sleeps around fr funsies bt they also have. certain taste. will sneer at someone they don’t deem worthy of their time LKSHDGHSDGKLDG

connections

since they’ve been here a few months already n its their second season coming back to furorum perhaps friends from before??

bt also . ppl they have rubbed the wrong way on purpose or not

someone they used to date n broke their heart.............. side eyes them

or opposite someone they caught feelings fr n now? they avoid said person like the plague. literally pretend said ex isnt talking to them right in front of them

hook ups/dates gone wrong/etc.............

wtvr ur vibing with!!!!

[jaekaicx]

so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

[wantaichi]

haikyuu + skincare hcs

ever think abt how they treat their skin? probably not. but like. do they wash their face like a normal person? have a 32 step skincare routine maybe??

msg me for any character who’s not here and i’ll drop their routine for u

masterlist.

karasuno

sugawara. lives up to his title as mr. refreshing. cleanses, tones, and moisturizes. !chefs kiss! keeps a jar of aloe vera face gel in his fridge, his mom had a spare. carries around a 100-sheet pack of oil film, more out of habit than of need. good skincare just makes him feel in control of his life, ok

ennoshita. fuckin’ spotless. part of the 0.0001% who don’t sweat easily. doesn’t have a complete regimen but never skips out on cleansing and toning before bed. actually reads the product ingredients and googles the benefits before buying. neutrogena type of guy. 

asahi. facial scrubs are his holy grail. like. dead skin? stubborn hair follicles? haha not on his watch ヾ( ･`⌓´･)ﾉﾞ trims his goatee every 3-4 week bc a well-groomed beard goes hand in hand with proper skincare. a sucker for aromatic products. lavender? shea butter? SOLD.

daichi. “healthy lifestyle is key to healthy skin“ typa dude. rly just thinks natural is the way to go. drinks 8 glasses of water, eats his veggies, exercises regularly, gets 8 hours of sleep. sounds like smth off wikihow if u ask me. probably is.

tsukishima. cetaphil hoe. brand loyalty embodied. on it for 5++ years, and never once considered switching. BUT. his routine ends at step 1. cleanse. and that’s it. the fuck he need a 32 step skincare routine for? long as he gets a day’s worth of grime and dirt off his face, he gucci

yamaguchi. sensitive skin’s got him constantly changing/exploring different products. rode on tsukki’s cetaphil agenda for the first few years of puberty (rly just out of curiousity) but dropped out when his skin got used to it. thinks pimple patches are a blessing to mankind.

tanaka. fuck. chaotic greasy. asks for oil film from suga just to stick it on his forehead, lets it stay there. uses whatever’s in the bathroom to wash off, aka majority of saeko’s products. got yelled at once to “get his greasy ass over here” and got slabbed with aztec healing clay mask. converted to clay mask hoe after 20 minutes. “mm this shit’s dope!”

nishinoya. fuck. chaotic greasy part ii. but make it baby face. only does skincare when chillin at the tanakas. homie got him to try the clay mask bc chick’s dig that. “bro, u mean the mask or boys who do the mask?” “both bro” “awshit bro gimme that” thinks splashing some water twice a week is enough

kageyama. ? this yalls mans? oblivious to the whole concept of skincare, only acknowledges general hygiene. uses whatever’s on the soap holder to wash his face. probably dove. doesnt really have much skin problems to begin with, only breaks out once a year. living proof that god has favorites.

hinata. only started taking skincare seriously that time a huge ass zit grew on his chin. yachi offered him her unfinished bottle of cosrx (she’s a hoarder and u kno it), and has since been giving him all her leftover bottles. basically gets to use good quality products for free smh

nekoma

kuroo. not very big on the idea of skincare per se, but supports any brand on that cruelty-free and vegan agenda. reads the product ingredients like a children’s book. “mm phenoxyethanol and retinyl palmitate.. i’ll take it.” always leaves the saleslady stunned.

kenma. too lazy to adopt a routine. but regularly uses his mom’s facial wash. you know. those mom brands. has a stash of facemasks from lev’s trip to korea —> only form of skincare he actually appreciates bc he can simultaneously play his games and be all bout dat self care 

lev. abuses his perks of having a sister. casually uses all alisa’s imported, high end stuff. la prairie. estee lauder. la mer. and she doesn’t mind bc her “levochka deserves all the finest things”. boujee ass russians

yaku. baby face. when god made it rain collagen, he was freestylin in a pool full of it while we was all sleepin. doesn’t exert much effort, just cleanses and tones bc it’s part of proper hygiene. girls envy him. parents in their 40s wanna be him. 

seijoh

oikawa. SKINCARE HOE KING. fuckin high maintenance. goes to the derma for his monthly laser facial treatment. on broke days, he settles for a diamond peel. skin so smooth it puts the entire female population to shame. spends his savings on those clinique eye creams. probably modeled for the face shop once

iwaizumi. homie reeks of male cleanser. might either dove men or nivea men. there’s no in between. oikawa internally screams everytime he witnesses his bff wash his face. two words. aggressive. rubbing. bordering on hostile he might actually skin his face off

mattsun and makki. fuck. drugstore cleansers. the ones that come in sachets. agreed to take turns in buying bundles for sharing. sometimes sneaks a pinch from oikawa’s clinique products when he’s not looking. haha dumb hoe. may have an addiction to charcoal nose pore strips just so they can compare blackheads

fukurodani

bokuto. buys whatever’s on sale idfk. genuinely wants to get on kuroo’s go green agenda but too lazy to look around the store. normally just uses the bubbles from his soap or shampoo. his belief: if it cleans his hands and his ass, then it can fuckin clean his face too

akaashi. healthy lifestyle + decent regimen = pretty skin. cleanses and tones. tried his mom’s aloe vera face gel once and got hooked. shit’s relaxing as hell. owns a bunch of facemasks, sometimes uses but keeps forgetting to take them off before falling asleep. uwu af

dateko

futakuchi. doesn’t have a routine cause “who tf needs that” and “obviously not me.” or so he says. secretly the biggest spender on skincare in all of dateko. owns a bunch of anti wrinkle products and probably one of those jade rollers. but no one needs to know that. just wants everyone to think he’s naturally pretty

aone. told by futakuchi that “knitting your brows too much causes premature wrinkles, but not like i’m an expert on that hhhahaha dont get me wrong.” can’t rly do anything bout it. he was born with that face. also buys whatever’s on sale

shiratorizawa

ushijima. surprisingly blemish free? but not entirely smooth? just spotless? basically a rock? never went past step 1: cleanse. never realized he’s been skipping out the 31 next steps. cetaphil hoe.

tendou. dry. crusty. compensates by sweating a lot through practice. might be effective if he’d stop leaving the foam on longer than recommended, thus leaving his skin dryer than his love life. yeah, i went there.

shirabu. flawless at first glance. until you lift those uneven ass bangs. tbh its nothing serious except “are we gonna ignore the fact that his whiteheads follow the shape of his bangs” as pointed out by tendou. uses whatever cleanser his mom buys for him

semi. decent skin care routine. a big boy who’s fairly knowledgeable on other brands outside cetaphil and dove/garnier/nivea men. takes him less than 5 minutes to pick a product bc he’s tried them all, knows what works, knows his skin type in and out. stan semi for clear skin.

see inarizaki + sakusa here

[bi-dazai]

okay while we're on the subject of eating healthy and exercising, I want to vent/talk about weight loss. This is gonna be a rly controversial, very personal and extremely long post but I do want to make a point. I'm not going to discuss every fucking nuance of haes or my EDs. But for clarity, know that my eds are complicated and were mostly osfeds - minor anorexia osfed in high school and bed osfed when I was 18-19. after i realised how fat i was the minor anorexia came back and over the pandemic it became full scale anorexia nervosa.

I'm 5'3. The healthy weight range I should be in is in the high 40s-low 50s. I went up to TWICE that by the time I was just nineteen years old. It wasn't fun being fat. I consumed as much fat acceptance, fat activism content as I could, I pretended I was confident and happy even when I was fat. But I wasn't. Because people don't just get obese accidentally. A little overweight, yes. But obese? No. You get obese from depression, from giving up. You don't want to move so you don't. You're sad all the time, and the body positivity circles say eat comfort food, whatever and as much as it makes you feel better!! Do you know what that is? That's encouragement of BED. Do not say that. Because I did that. I ate sugar and junk food, I was still depressed.

I was reading these posts that were claiming fat people shouldn't be weighed at the doctor, that your weight shouldn't count, that BMI is incorrect and doesn't matter, etc etc. There were posts saying that they got "perfect bloodwork" (what even is that? I knew that was wrong, I've had chronic iron deficiency for a decade!) even though they were fat, so they had to be healthy, right? I got shown pictures of obese ballerinas and obese weightlifters blah blah blah. And I grew and grew, and I got to almost 85kg on the fast track to 100kg before reality smacked me in the face and I realised I was shortening my lifespan by decades.

Here's what it was like being obese!

- joint pain, constantly

- could barely walk anywhere without feeling out of breath

- couldn't find any fashionable, good quality clothes (plus size stores either carry unfashionable clothing, or fashionable but cheap quality clothing. I don't like to waste money on cheap clothes)

- more acne than I'd had in years

- oily skin

- more difficulty feeling "full"

- JOINT FUCKING PAIN

- rashes from skin rubbing against skin!

- even larger chest, making me MORE dysphoric

- back pain!!

- snoring - this is not just embarrassing. This is potentially deadly.

- DYSPHORIA

- KNEES. JOINT PAIN.

- DYSPHORIA

this was just things I felt physically, noticeably! The things that my fat was doing on the inside was even worse. Fat isn't just this layer of packing peanuts that appears on top of you. It coats your organs. It gets everywhere. It makes your entire body run worse.

Fat also makes it much more likely for you to not just GET cancer, but it it also makes it harder to FIGHT cancer. Being obese makes almost every single goddamn sickness on the planet worse because when you have THAT MUCH fat tissue the hormones and shit it secretes fucks EVERYTHING up.

Yes there are obese bodybuilders. Yes there are obese ballerinas. Let's talk about those two.

There are plenty of drs and dieticians who have pointed out the obvious - if an obese person was really, actually eating healthily and exercising every day, they would not stay obese forever. Its not magic, it's thermodynamics. CICO done right works for everyone. If you are eating healthy, appropriate portions for weight loss at your TDEE and exercising it would literally be IMPOSSIBLE for you not to lose weight!! Even more the heavier you are because when you exercise you carry around a lot more weight.

Obese weightlifters are still obese. They are not proof you can be obese and healthy. They are still going to die younger if they do not lose weight.

Let's talk about fat ballerinas. The only ones I've seen are trainee ballerinas, not professional ones. And their performance looks impressive at first, until you look closer. You notice their balance is never quite perfect, their control can be amazing and the best ever but they'll still be off. Why? Because fat moves around with your movement, and it displaces your balance and your line of movement. It's simply not possible to do something like ballet dancing as a fat person without risking major injury as well. En pointe is already stupid dangerous for the skinniest ballerina. Going en pointe at anything above 60kg is going to get progressively suckier the heavier you go. And god help your ankles because falling down will always end in a major injury.

I'm so fucking done with "fat acceptance". I'm tired of "body positivity" being a movement about obese middle-upper class white women and not about scars and disabilities etc like it was focused on in the start. I have no problems with Health at Every Size - every person should feel happy to workout, to eat healthy. I have no problem raising issue with people bullying others for their weight as well. That's wrong. But pretending that it's Healthy at Every Size is a fucking lie, and it's one that could've sentenced me to an early death. Healthy at Every Size said I was condemned to joint pain and oily skin and depression and exhaustion for the rest of my life based on cherrypicked sentences from studies that didn't agree with them. That "95% of diets fail" sentence in particular drives me up the wall. You don't need a diet to lose weight, you need healthy CICO, you need to eat below your TDEE, you need to eat healthy, and you need to exercise. All you have to do at first is go on a 10-20 minute walk, whatever pace you like, a few times a week.

You can BE fit, you CAN lose weight! You are not sentenced to having joint pain and an increased risk for cancer and a less effective COVID vaccine for life. You can change your body in incredibly ways. You have no idea what you are capable of.

There's this myth that weight loss takes keto and shakes and diet pills and crash diets etc. It doesn't. All it is is making sure you eat less than your TDEE, eating HEALTHY calories, and getting your heartrate up by exercising at least 175 minutes a week.

The human body is not meant to be obese. There's no such thing as a set point weight. There's CICO, there's nutrition, there's making sure your muscles dont atrophy. Weight loss and fitness isn't some magic thing that youre just born able to do. I was lazy throughout my entire teens. I thought fitness was something the popular girls did. It's not. It's for everyone. and everyone, especially in places with an obesity epidemic such as the US, UK, and Australia, should make use of it. It's a good thing. Walking is one of the best things you can do for your body, and it's incredibly rewarding in every way. Eating healthy and not eating until you feel like you're going to burst is rewarding in every way. And it's not like you can't ever have junk food again, you just have to limit it to a treat, a once or twice per week thing. And honestly, it makes it much more enjoyable that way.

Now I want to talk a little about my anorexia. My weight loss journey came to anorexia. This is because it was an eating disorder I'd had for a long time. I did not see a trainer or dietician, and I consciously decided to push myself too far. I consciously decide to eat less and exercise more when I am starving. This is not something that just happens because someone is eating at 1200cals. It happens because you have an eating disorder which you are born with. Saying people who eat 1200cals of healthy food a day and exercise right are "anorexic" is so fucking insulting to everyone involved. It's ableist and ignorant. 1200cals is also a pretty generous amount for anorexic ppl to eat. That's close to a binge in ED standards, so that should give you a reference for how offbase saying 1200cals is "anorexic" is.

My anorexia is healthy habits pushed into eating disorder territory. I eat healthy, yes, but I don't eat enough. I exercise, yes, but I often push myself too far when I'm already lacking energy. The advice I give people for health is correct, and I'm never going to go around saying "eat less than 1200cals" as weightloss advice. Eat less, sure, but there's a limit. Calorie counting is a good thing to do, tracking your macros and nutrients is good. But I do it too much.

I know what's healthy, a lot of ppl with restrictive and purgative EDs do. People with EDs can give some awesome health advice, we just can't follow it because we have a mental disorder. Believe it or not people with EDs discussing their EDs are not "pro-ana", pointing out that anorexia and people with anorexia are real and not some boogeyman you use to justify not losing weight and eating healthy is not pro-ana. Anorexia existing is not pro-ana and anorexics being anorexic has nothing to do with fatphobia.

this post is a rambling mess but i rly had to get some stuff clear on how I feel abt this stuff because it's getting concerning how much unhealthy shit, and then straight up ableist shit, that the fat acceptance crowd spews out.

A little exercise won't kill you, eating healthy won't kill you. You are not sentenced to ugly plus size fashion and joint pain and being out of breath for the rest of your life. Leave the Healthy at Every Size death cult and join the Health at Every Size movement. Let the doctor take your weight (it IS medically necessary). acknowledge that you are obese and it is affecting your health. It's scary but it can be the start of a new, healthy beginning. It was for me.

Losing 15kg has been the best thing in my life. Sure, the anorexia is there enjoying it for one reason. But the reason I truly enjoy it is because I've discovered what a healthier body feels like. I've discovered the joys of exercise, I've discovered the joys of eating healthy. I can fit nice clothes now. And I'm still overweight! I'm 66kg, that's 4kg away from the barest minimum acceptable healthy bmi. But I feel so so much better. I look better. I have a jawline! Good skin! Energy! It didn't fix me but it sure made me a hell of a lot better.

Please please try and eat healthy, eat an appropriate amount, go for walks. It's so so good, and if you do it right you WILL lose weight. You'll live past 50. You'll get to explore the world in a way you couldn't when going up stairs had you out of breath. You'll fit into that nice skirt you've been looking at. Your skin will clear up. You'll have energy and your mental health will improve.

It's so so fucking worth it to put effort into your health, like I cannot emphasise this enough. Please do it, I wish I could tell myself this when I was binging on junk because the FA crowd told me it was valid to comfort eat until I hurt.