#i also don't know what i wrote
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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(ETA: now edited and up on AO3)
Look. Eddie knows he can be a little uptight about these things, but. There are rules. If you become a vampire, you don’t need to go full gothic Count Von Dickhead or whatever, but you absolutely cannot just wander around in a puffy vest and light-wash jeans.
“Why not?” says Steve. He’s leaning back in an armchair, sipping on a bloodbag like it’s a goddamn juicebox. “What, are the vampire police going to arrest me?”
He pauses. “Wait. There aren’t vampire police, are there?”
“No,” says Eddie. “Probably not. I don’t know. But there are standards which you are refusing to uphold, Steven.”
“Thought you were all about hating conformity, Edward,” Steve says. He’s got an obnoxiously cocky little smirk, the smug undead fucker.
Eddie grimaces. “Don’t call me that, asswipe. Don’t you feel, like—the call of the night? The siren song of life coursing through fragile human veins? A hunger for destruction that those paltry plastic bags of blood can never truly slake?”
“The bloodbags aren’t so bad,” says Steve, around the straw. “Better than protein shakes.”
“I actually hate you,” Eddie tells him. “Vampirism is wasted on you.”
Steve noisily slurps the last of the blood out of the bottom of the bag. “Come on, you can’t really picture me in some Dracula getup, can you?”
The problem, of course, is that Eddie really, really can. When Robin had read him in on the whole situation, obviously he’d been horrified and concerned—but also, a whole wing of his brain had immediately been cordoned off to work overtime imagining Steve in elaborate Dark Prince regalia, maybe leaning elegantly out of a castle window on the moors, gazing into the foggy dusk. Velvet might’ve been involved.
“...guess not,” says Eddie. It doesn’t sound incredibly convincing to his own ears, but Steve just shrugs and gets up to throw the bloodbag away.
“There you go, man,” he says, clapping Eddie on the shoulder as he passes. “It’s the 80s. Vampires can be whatever we wanna be.”
———
It gets way too easy to forget about Steve’s condition, until Eddie ends up having to haul him out of a bar in Indy before they get banned for life.
“Simmer down, buddy,” Eddie says, pulling him into the shadow of the van. “Let’s get those fangs packed away before any of the nice villagers wander by with torches and pitchforks.”
“I’m good,” pants Steve. “It’s all good. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”
Eddie lifts an unimpressed eyebrow. “Sure, that’s why your eyes are glowing red and you’re, like, fully vamped out. Which, by the way, looks extremely dumb with the whole clean-cut vibe you decided to rock tonight.”
“Fuck you, I look great,” says Steve, pushing a hand through his hair. He’s not wrong, it’s just not relevant to how he also looks extremely dumb like this, wearing a pristine henley with fangs hanging out in the parking lot for anyone to see.
“So what the hell happened in there, man? I was finally starting to get somewhere with Todd, and…” Eddie trails off in dawning realization.
“Holy shit, am I—I’m like your territory, aren’t I? Your stupid vampire brain got all screwy and decided to loop me in with Robin and the kids as part of your freaky human coven.”
“Uh,” says Steve. He looks unhappy in a shifty kind of way. “Something like that, maybe.”
“Wait, so, are Nancy and Jonathan—are you okay with them because they’re both already in the vamp pack? Is Vickie gonna have to be inaugurated before she and Robin can bone down?” Eddie perks up. “Shit, is there a ceremony? We could totally do a ceremony.” He bets he can get the kids to liberate some velour curtains from the drama club. With a few candles, they could get some serious atmosphere going.
“No, shut up, nobody’s doing a damn ceremony,” Steve groans. “Vickie’s fine.”
“Okay,” says Eddie. “So…you gonna tell me what all that was about, then? Do I have to start running guys past you first so your vamp instincts don’t wig out? Or…hm, maybe Argyle’d be down to mess around sometime.”
Steve lets out an actual snarl with weird animal echoes, then claps a hand over his mouth.
“Sorry,” he says, muffled. The shadows around them seem darker somehow.
“So I’m just not allowed to get laid ever again,” says Eddie slowly. “For vampire reasons.”
“Do whatever you want, man.” Steve’s still got his hand pressed tight over his mouth.
“And it’s…just me?” Eddie peers at the tightness around Steve’s eyes; the way he’s scowling stubbornly at his feet. “Huh. Kind of…possessive, Harrington.”
“It’s—weird,” says Steve miserably, dropping his hand at last. “I know it’s fucking weird.”
“Maybe.” Eddie shrugs, biting down on the grin he can feel tugging at his mouth. “Lucky for you, I’m into that shit.”
“What?” Steve frowns. “You’re…”
“Always wanted a vampire boyfriend,” says Eddie. ���Like, are you kidding? I would’ve sold my fucking soul at 15 for something like that.”
“I’m starting to feel a little objectified here,” says Steve, but he’s smiling, and he reaches out to snag Eddie’s belt loop and tug him stumbling closer. “Just in it for the fangs, huh?”
“Well, you’re kind of a shitty vampire, actually.” Eddie drapes his arms over Steve’s shoulders. “So I guess I must just be in it for you.”
Steve hesitates, searching Eddie’s face. Stray red lights are still sparking like embers in Steve’s irises. “Okay, but—you’re in it? Right?”
“Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, Bunnicula. I’ll send the vampire police after you, just watch me,” says Eddie, and kisses him.
#steddie#vampire steve harrington#I don't know what happened; I just sat down and wrote this even though I have a million other things to do#I was briefly possessed by the spirit of 'what if steve harrington were the least genre-appropriate vampire of all time'#and also my perpetual need to write people with terrible communication skills#I may edit this a bit more when it's not 3am but ftr I am not planning on any continuations
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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them
but. does ivan know that…?
the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself
because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"
but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—
surely this selfish wanting can’t be love
...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die
but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...
I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)
but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself
#alien stage#alnst#alnst ivan#ivantill#i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough#just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently#idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave#ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing#making him the most miserable guy ever#...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well#c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated#wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong
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⋆.˚ svt as formula one drivers ♡︎ soonyoung, wonwoo, joshua.
── .✦ 01. the one where soonyoung is enamored by a fan. 02. the one where wonwoo falls for a journalist. 03. the one where joshua has someone at home waiting for him.
✰ fluff, light angst [blink and you'll miss it], competitive!soonyoung, in denial!wonwoo, boyfriend!joshua, formula one references, svt ensemble, all sfw. intentional lowercase.
THE ONE WITH SOONYOUNG.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who started off as a street racer, who has always been a bit reckless when it comes to practically everything.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who signs with alpine alongside jihoon; if jihoon is ice, then soonyoung is fire. they make it work.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who is an absolute devil on the grid. he may not always place well in the championship standings, but he will give everyone hell before they can overtake him.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who's just a little bit controversial for flirting with audience members, whether they're a fan of alpine or not. what can he say? he's a thrill-seeker, and there is some thrill in all the pretty people who want to get with a racer.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who is all that until he meets a fan who just— shuts him up. he's struck dumb by you, which is a tall feat. love at first sight is a cruel twist of fate for someone as impulsive as he is.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who just can't do it, who can't flirt with you the way he has with the dozens of onlookers in the grandstands. it frustrates him. he literally races for a living, and yet you have his heart hammering in his chest like he's some goddamn fool.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who does end up kind of acting like a fool in front of you once he thinks he has enough courage to strike up a conversation. he hits you with an outdated pick-up line and is mortified at how terribly the conversation goes. (jihoon never lets soonyoung live this down.)
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who gets a bit sulky when he realizes you're not there for him, per se. you're a fan of some other team, some other driver. he absolutely hates it.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who stumbles over his words when he attempts to change your mind, who only grows more and more frustrated as you cheer on the cars shuttling past him.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who decides that the best way to go about this is to do the one thing he does best: drive.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who gets even more unpredictable, who finally starts actually winning races instead of just driving for the sake of it. jihoon is impressed, and the other drivers are disgruntled, but soonyoung only really cares about one opinion.
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who— drenched in champagne after winning at the monaco grand prix— finds you in the paddock clubs. "did you see?" he asks you, his helmet tucked under one arm. "were you watching?"
🏁 f1 driver soonyoung who says, "keep your eyes on me, baby. i'm going to be winning a whole lot more."
THE ONE WITH WONWOO.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who knows better than anyone that the car maketh the man, and so he keeps up with all the tech as he tears through race after race.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who is the face of mclaren. he signs with mingyu— a non-negotiable in all of his contracts. the two are formidable on the grid, but are best friends away it.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who hates the media circus, honestly. that had always been more of mingyu's thing. wonwoo has to endure it all the same because it's part of his job, because he wins races and reporters always want to hear from the winners.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who doesn't mind one reporter, honestly. you're efficient. you're professional. you ask questions that make him think.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who unintentionally makes you enemy number one among all the f1 journalists, because he's always calling on you when he gets the chance.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who will lean in just a little too close (to hear you better, he'll reason). who will nod in all the right places as you ask your question (he's being polite, he says).
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who is teased relentlessly by mingyu, because of all the people that wonwoo could've fallen for, it's someone who's just doing their job.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who calls mingyu absurd. he is not in love. ("a crush, then?" mingyu insists, but wonwoo shakes that off, too. he's a man in his late twenties. he wasn't supposed to get crushes.)
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who is reading one of your articles on his phone and smiling at the little icon featuring your face when he realizes, fuck. oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who buries himself in studying about race strategy and aerodynamics, like he might find the answers there. he starts only answering the reporter questions he hates. about the weather, about car conditions, about his cat back at home.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who has to be cornered and confronted by mingyu, who realizes immediately that wonwoo is trying desperately to shift gears.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who is here to win, who is here to represent mclaren, who can't bear to be distracted by a sharp tongue and a pretty face. right? right? he tells mingyu all that as he paces the pit box, as he tugs at the tips of his fire-resistant gloves.
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who has to be reminded, gently, by mingyu, "hyung, you're allowed to want more than one thing."
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who, the next time he sees you, flips the script. "you're always asking me questions. i'm allowed to ask you one of my own, don't you think?"
🚥 f1 driver wonwoo who swears it's worse than racing— the feeling in his chest when he finally manages to choke out, "what does a guy have to do to take you to dinner?"
THE ONE WITH JOSHUA.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who started karting at the young age of six, who was practically born in to the life of motorsports.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who carves out a space for himself in mercedes. his partner vernon has nothing but praise for him. joshua, after all, is the picture perfect mercedes driver: sleek, sophisticated, meticulous.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who— single-minded as he is— is still controlled and efficient. who has never crashed in his career. who would rather lose than put himself in danger.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who does all this because he knows there's someone back at home (or in the stands, if it's a particularly good prix), absolutely scared shitless.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who would give it all up for you in a heartbeat. would it suck? yes. but he would. you have to know that. all you have to do is ask.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who appreciates that you never ask. he knows you worry, knows he's probably shortened your lifespan with all the anxiety he's put you through, and yet you never make him choose. he is so, so grateful.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who is relentlessly excellent and pedantically careful because he owes you that much. it is his one promise to himself; his quiet vow to you. the red flags will never be for him.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who is criticized for playing things safe, for giving too much way to vernon. joshua merely shrugs and smiles and thinks of you, and how he's just excited to be back in your arms once this goddamn season is over.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who still wins, every so often, because he really is good. just cautious. and when he does win— when he's the one with the champagne bottle and the gold trophy and all the cameras trained at him— there's only one thing he looks for.
🏆 f1 driver joshua who will jump off the podium to find you, or point straight at a camera broadcasting live to reach you, as if to say, look; i'm in one piece. i'm fine. i did it. i'm fine. i love you. i'm fine.
#soonyoung x reader#kwon soonyoung x reader#hoshi x reader#wonwoo x reader#jeon wonwoo x reader#joshua x reader#joshua hong x reader#hong jisoo x reader#seventeen x reader#svt x reader#seventeen imagines#soonyoung imagines#wonwoo imagines#joshua imagines#( wrote this . cold sweat. one sitting )#( if it's obvious that i don't know shit about f1 i need y'all to look awayyy ... )#( it's also obvious that the wonwoo one was the most developed hejacda but it is what it isss )#( i want so badly to turn these in to full fics but alas! a gal can only talk so much ab f1 )#୨ৎ penned by ylangelegy#୨ৎ muse .ᐟ svt
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Tired Ghost
#i don't wanna spend too much time on this#(wrote an essay about how i thought vanguard hacking kit was developed)#yep that's not lorem ipsum#i just wanna see ghost complaining don't judge me too much#i didn't take history class in the ishtar collective (TM) those are all ooc don't actually read into that#if you actually know what im saying then you'd know i probably failed my computer security lesson#also the traveller probably gave them similar tech so their physical architecture should be similar#also ur a nerd lol#destiny 2#destiny hunter#destiny ghost#destiny 2 art#my art
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why does everyone suddenly want fanfiction to be realistic. i just see takes like "oh it's not realistic for the marauders to all be gay, it's the 70s" and like SO WHAT? like did i miss the memo that fanfiction is supposed to be realistic now like why would it be. it's FANFICTION
#on a related note#i think people (on tiktok specifically let's be real) don't know what fanfiction is actually#marauders#also like it's not even unrealistic#you just hate queer people#like i wrote a fic where they're all asexual do you honestly think i care about anything
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the rapture
it's a holy thing, in theory, a glorious celebration, where those who believe rise to meet the lord in the air. it's a day of joy, in theory, and maybe even of vindication for those who have always believed.
but no one thinks about how it's like to see the dead rise again—bodies clawing their way out of bolted wood and six feet of packed earth, bodies decomposed and maggot-feasted, nails stained with rot and dirt. no one thinks about the violent lurch of their bodies being jolted into the air by the stomach, gravity flinging their heads back down to earth as they struggle in vain to find footing on molecules and gas. no one thinks about those who don't make it.
no one thinks about the screams.
crowley hadn't thought about any of these things. he certainly hadn't thought about the angels that would be called back to heaven along with the believers.
here they stand dead in the middle of absolute ruin, the promise of heaven the only thing left to look forward to on the wasteland of this earth. the sky has opened up like the eye of god, watching over her people for the very first time, and crowley's black wings against the beams of light only remind him that he doesn't belong up there with the rest of them. crowley wraps his arms tight around aziraphale, squeezes his torso like he can maybe keep aziraphale with him through sheer will or, laughably, demonic intervention. like love could ever be enough. like love could stay.
around them, the cacophony of wails and mockingly exaltant trumpets scorch the earth in their intensity, clashing and agonising even—especially—for them, and words make no sound. but they hold on to each other, even as they shrink into themselves against the noise of the undying. i don't want to leave you either, aziraphale doesn't say, but his hands dig into the cotton of crowley's sleeve, and crowley hears the words through his fingertips.
he feels a stronger upward resistance against his embrace now, and he clings tighter, steadfast, even as aziraphale's grip falters. but he knows he can't hold on forever. he knows that nothing ever lasts.
trembling with something unspeakable, he lifts his arms from aziraphale's torso and covers the angel's ears with his hands. he feels more than hearing aziraphale's resulting sob, and he spreads out his wings to wrap them around their bodies. a shield, a comfort, a goodbye.
it's okay, the gesture says in silence. i'll see you in another lifetime.
#fearandhatred#fearandart#fearandfics#i usually don't say this but please zoom in i'm begging this took Effort#if the style of aziracrow looks really different from the background it's because i didn't know what i was doing#like literally don't even ask me how i did this bro i have no idea#also i know i wrote about crowley's wings but i would have rather died than drawn wings again so. leave me alone#this was originally gonna be just crowley and aziraphale in this pose inspired by cabin in the woods with no extra context#then eybe saw the wip and was like None of them are dying in this right. Right leanne. Right#so i said hey why not#i've had the rapture drawing idea in my notes app for a longgg time so i decided to combine the two#and then i wrote this snippet in the next 20 minutes#so thank u eybe#good omens#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#crowley#aziraphale#good omens fanart#good omens art#good omens fanfic#good omens ficlet
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haha hey so apparently someone stole my whole fic... copy and pasted except for tiny things changed... here is the link to their """fic""" (sorry random person I had to steal the reblog from). they've since deleted the fic off their blog + deleted their ao3 + gone on a hiatus so..... that's cool and whatever....... but they have written a lot of other shit so... don't be a dick but maybe check that for funny business too...
#yall I am literally#I don't even know what to say LMFAO#their fic before they deleted it had more notes than mine....... like what.....#I've never had this happen before so I'm just.... in awe........#is leon similar to aki or something I don't know this man. who are you#it sucks so much too because that fic of mine#is probably my favorite fic I ever wrote#I poured so much love into it#so many little aspects of aki's character that I enjoyed fleshing out#and to just have it stolen#like if you stole a shitty drabble I wouldn't be as wounded but to steal 20k words of love.....#that's messed up man........#I'm laughing at this but also. crying inside a little#thank you to the person who told me about this because since they deleted it it would be really hard to know otherwise#yeah........... yeah.....
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You know why I love Feysand? One of the reasons is because there's a balance between them. In a way they complete each other.
Feyre is all forgiveness, love and a pleaser.
But Rhysand on the other hand is all revenge, hate and never forget.
Whenever he's drowning in hatred for himself, for people who wronged his loved ones, she's there to pull him up and shower him with love, respect and reminding him of goodness.
And whenever she is being too forgiving to the point she's forgetting herself or to put herself first, he's there to bring justice and be a shield for her from the injustice of it all.
That's why this is one of my favorite scene of them:
He's saying he can't forgive anyone who wronged her. But she remembers the ones who wronged him and notices he doesn't care about himself, his hatred for himself won't allow it.
She's saying he has to forgive at some point. He's there to remind her that maybe it's okay to admit that some people have made her suffer.
It's this back and forth between them. It balances them.
He's always self sacrificing himself to keep his loved ones safe, to make them comfortable, to be a shield. And Feyre came to his life, saw right throw all of them and let him to burden her with some of those duties he put himself up for them.
Sometimes it's a wrong trait but it's never out of malice.
And she is always too forgiving, putting everyone else first, always backing down when some times she needs to back up for herself and she let herself to forget them. But he won't, he will remember, he'll defend her if it's needed and when someone crosses a line, he's there to remind them to back down.
Sometimes she let people take too much from her and it might hurt her in the process. A wrong trait of her.
They're the definition of "I will give my love for the both of us" and "I will give my hatred for the both of us"... does that make sense?
#I wrote this with my half fried brain for being on traffic for better part of my morning lmao#feysand#pro feysand#rhysand#rhysand acotar#high lord rhysand#pro rhysand#feyre archeron#feyre cursebreaker#feyre darling#high lady feyre#pro feyre#pro feyre archeron#i saw something a few days ago#some of you might know what I'm talking about some of you may not#but yeah I wanted to answer them in my own way#and also not reblog them and bring hate on the main so...#I wish people would stay on their own lain#I don't need to read the takes of my fav characters of someone who's coming from hatred toward those characters#leave them alone if you have nothing worthy to say#and don't waste our time lol
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sigh feeling nostalgic for my old fics/the old community these days. I miss it man.
#this post is brought to you by the fact that I've been rereading world forgetting the past few days#I've reread parts of it plenty of times#but I haven't actually reread the fic in full... since I wrote it maybe?#does that even count as reading it#it's a fundamentally different experience I think so#anyway I miss having that level of brainrot...#I cringe so much at a lot of the stuff in that fic#but man there were so many great moments#ngl as my 'big fic' i'm most unhappy with I do sometimes think about rewriting some of it#not that theres much of an audience for it anymore#but also that would take too much time and I wouldn't have the patience for it#plus I don't even know how I'd fix it theres so much wrong structurally#it would have to be so much longer which is the opposite of what I'd want for it#I literally am way too busy for that anyway so#ramblings
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so. i know this isn't nothing new and there's probably a thousand (far more eloquently written) posts about this but! in light of chapter 166 i just wanted to reiterate this once more.
the movie arc seems like it's supposed to be about other characters understanding ai. who was ai hoshino? what were her flaws, her hopes, her dreams? she wasn't a goddess–far from it–so who was the real ai, the person rather than the idol?
and it failed on delivering. so bad!!!!
sure we have a bit about ruby Starting to understand ai. nothing from aqua because who cares right. because if aqua actually came to understand ai how could we have the tragic but "hopeful" ending?
ai's dream was never to perform at the dome.
the dome was always ichigo and miyako's dream. ai, being the The Ultimate People Pleaser, just smiled and nodded–acted as if she were happy.
so it's really weird how performing at the dome was reframed to be ai's dream, the fate that she could never fulfill–but hey it's okay because ruby will!!!
there was no need for history to be rewritten and this actually just makes it seem (no matter what the actual intent was) that the others never did learn to see through ai's facade.
(also might i add that this is also harmful to ruby's character in the sense that she is not allowed to have her own dreams. it would have been perfectly fine for her to want to perform at the dome because it was what SHE wanted to do but. alas after a certain point of the story ruby is not allowed to exist outside of brocon jokes or to be anything other than ai 2: electric boogaloo)
was her dream for ruby to be an idol and for aqua to be an actor?
when ai said that she imagined a future where ruby was an idol and aqua was an actor she didn't say it because that was her dream.
personally i think that because ai was dying and she knew it would cause her children pain she wanted them to know that their futures could still be bright and that they should have hope!! i don't even think she gave it much thought other than that they looked happy and like they had fun performing!!! which made her happy!!!!!!!
but she never would have imposed that future on them. ai knew about the entertainment world and she never would have forced her babies to be a part of it unless they wanted to.
so what were ai's dreams? easy: for her loved ones to be safe and happy.
this. that's it.
so
"the future that mama [...] illuminated for me"
is it though? would ai have wanted this? would she want the man that she had loved–who she had known as a boy who was hurting and who needed someone to be there for him–to die as nothing more than a cartoonish villain? would she want ruby to have to pretend she wasn't miserable so she could fulfill ai's not-dream of performing at the dome? would she want her precious son, who she loved from the moment she saw him on the ultrasound, to die a gruesome, painful death, even though he so desperately wanted to live?
not in a million years.
#i saw some. weird takes. and started itching to write this#now bear in mind that i am certainly no ai expert. also that i wrote this as a rant more than anything. also that i am three apples tall.#ai is just a character that you want to Talk about you know. like she is so fascinating i need to put her under a microscope and whatnot#also that goddamn. 'i wonder what kind of adults you'll grow into' hurts so much#anyways please forgive me for the incoherent yapping i am new to (this degree of) onk brainrot and don't know what to do#oshi no ko spoilers#oshi no ko#hoshino ai#ai hoshino#hoshino aqua#aqua hoshino#hoshino ruby#ruby hoshino
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@sasheneskywalker i love when you enable me to ramble about things because oh my god do i have thoughts.
so recently, i made a post discussing the phenomena of DC x DP and DC x MLB crossovers and why they exist and part of that post was discussing how largely speaking, at least half, if not more of the Batfamily fandom doesn't read the comics. if they interact with canon DC material, it's adaptations that are their own sequestered universes and oftentimes not remotely comic accurate or seeking to be. the most obvious example is the Young Justice cartoon. i'm adding a cut to this post because it just got so long i'm so sorry.
a lot of times, when people are discussing the "why" of this oversaturation of fanon-only fandom, they blame Wayne Family Adventures. and i think, to a point, i agree WFA is responsible for a boom in this fandom. but as someone who's been in the fandom long before we had WFA, to me it's the other way around. WFA was DC's way of meeting the demand for this easy-to-get-into, easy-to-consume content about the Batfamily that predicates itself on the comics just enough to be vaguely the same characters, but has a more sitcom, slice-of-life sort of vibe so DC could profit off of this section of the fanbase that otherwise wasn't consuming its primary material. and well, it's definitely worked. not only that, but i have a weird theory that the decline in the MCU also led to the rise in the Batfamily fandom. when you consider the fan content that made the MCU popular within fandom, it's that 2012 "they all live in Avengers Tower and Thor is eating poptarts and Clint is in the vents and there are movie nights every Friday" sort of vibe. those were the fics that were a hallmark of the fandom. and as the MCU has strayed from well... quality content in general, but specifically well-thought-out crossover content where characters can have their own arcs but also exist in a wider story where they clearly care about each other, that fandom was sort of homeless. so where do you go, if you like a superhero found family where you can have villains for angst but also stick them all in one big family-like home for silly crack and have a plethora of options for gay ships? well. you go to the Batfamily. if you write a crack/fluff Batfamily genfic with silly vibes and low stakes instead of say, a fic about a very specific comic issue even if it's a popular comic, you're *going* to get more traction for the former. because the fanbase largely just isn't reading the comics.
and i feel... complicated about this. because on one hand, Don't Like Don't Read has been a tenet of my fandom experience. i'm very pro-fandom and that includes fandom content i don't like. and to an extent, i do think this sort of should apply to Batfamily fanon. i enjoy having my moments with other comic purists, giggling over exceptionally painful OOC headcanons or even facepalming in pain over some content but it is on me to not interact with that content. you don't make fandom a better place by being hostile to fans who engage with canon in ways you don't approve of. and frankly? we as comic readers are not going to get non-comic fans to read the comics by being asshats to them. no one is going to want to pick up any comic if we get a superiority complex about it. and also, i feel like we're all lying to ourselves a little bit insisting comics are so, so easy to get into. they're not. we can just all agree, they're really not. i've been single-handedly helping my sister get into comics, specifically Wonder Woman and no matter how simple i make it, i watch her get frustrated trying to understand what pre-Crisis and post-Crisis and New-52 and Flashpoint and all these things mean and what a retcon vs a reboot is and what a Crisis Event is and what the hell Diana's current backstory even *is*. sure, you can give someone a beginner list of comics to start with and slowly dip their toes in the water but sooner or later, *something* is going to confuse them. comics as a medium straight up aren't going to be everyone's cup of tea. and if someone *just* wants to read silly fluffy fanfiction about the Batfamily, i can't entirely begrudge them for not wanting to take the hours and hours out of their day to understand this medium. it's not an accessible medium to get into. "read this and this, but this run is out of print and this run wasn't collected in trades at all but also make sure you read that event in order and this is a good comic but the backstory in it is retconned and you *have* to read this it's so important but it's also really bad because the author kind of sucks" sounds. ridiculous for someone who like. just wants to read some stuff about Nightwing. sometimes, we all make reading comics sort of sound like a chore, not a hobby.
so my point is, i do extend some grace to Batfamily fanon for existing. i think my biggest gripe is, as i said in my other post, misuse of tags (if you're not creating content about comics, maybe you don't need the comics fandom tag on Ao3, just the all media types umbrella tag) and my far bigger gripe: when panels are taken out of context to support fanon only headcanons. if i could impart *anything* onto the Batfamily fandom as a comic fan it'd be this: if you haven't *read* the comic, don't spread the panel. if you don't even know what comic it's *from*, don't spread the panel. it's fine to use comic panels to discuss your headcanons, but so often i see someone spreading a comic panel from a comic they haven't read, and when asked where it's from, they can't source it. a silly example that comes to mind is a post going around, taking a panel where Dick, in his internal monologue goes "here comes the sun. do do do do." and the post is claiming it's from him getting buried alive. when that panel comes from Nightwing (1996) #140, and he gets buried alive in Nightwing (1996) #127, two completely different moments frankensteined together. if you're going to not read the comics, that's completely fine, but unless you're sure of the source and the context, panels shouldn't be spread around. i'm sick of this specifically happening to Red Robin (2009), with ppl claiming Tim has totally killed people because he blew up some of Ra's' bases, when those panels within context, make it clear he gave everyone time to escape. and in a later arc in that very comic, Tim grapples with the idea of murdering Captain Boomerang, and *specifically chooses not to*, because he doesn't agree with murder, even against the person who has hurt him the most. if you'd like to write fanfiction where Tim is pro-murder and has done some sketch things, i'm totally on board and would probably like to read it. but there's no need to pretend it's canon from a few panels you saw out of context.
beyond that, i think it's not *entirely* correct to say that fanon is harmless. whenever i see very WFA-positive posts, they often default to the argument that WFA is fun and silly, and comic fans are killjoys for not liking it. which. i think is complicated because the issue is, WFA and fanon don't exist in a vacuum. if you like WFA power to you, i don't think it's the worst thing ever, but i do think it's degrading to these characters because honestly? they feel incompetent in the webtoon. it's one thing if WFA was solely a slice-of-life sort of deal, just having silly episodes where Bruce is taking on a PTA mom or they're all fighting for the last cookie. but when WFA attempts to take on more serious plots with these characters, it *fundamentally* falls flat in understanding them. i get it, Bruce comforting Jason having a panic attack because a noise reminded him of the crowbar felt cute in a microcosm, but i'm so serious when i say that storyline destroyed how like. half of this fandom understands Jason Todd's relationship to his trauma. it doesn't understand how he reacts when he's triggered, what coping mechanisms he seeks out, and how he would handle Bruce comforting him. even if i can believe for a brief moment Jason *would* be triggered by something like that, him running and trying to hide and then getting a hug from Bruce to make it okay is just. painful. WFA needs everything to be wrapped up in a nice, neat little bow. so even when it starts to tackle interesting concepts, it makes them fall flat with its need to be soft, low stakes, hurt/comfort. there was a two-parter episode that dealt with the complicated mutual hatred/jealousy between Tim and Damian that *almost* really interested me because for once, it felt like the webtoon wanted to explore canon messy dynamics. but of course, it had to be fixed with one conversation and a hug. you don't mend the *years* of issues these characters have like that. WFA isn't in character because these characters are hyperbole cartoonified versions of themselves to fit within the medium and be a cute happy family.
because that right there, is the crux of it. the Batfamily fanon seeks to simplify the Batfamily and force them into a nuclear family. there are so many fantastic posts on here discussing how the nuclear family-ification of the Batfam is eroding decades worth of complex histories so i won't go too far into that. but what i will say is that there's this need, in the Batfamily fandom, for the Batfamily to exist as a unit. they are a *family*. (honestly i think calling it the Batfamily is a misnomer and has been for years but we're in too deep now.) they exist to each other first, and any teams or friends they have come secondary to this family unit. you can *specifically* see this demonstrated in what headcanons are becoming popular these days. i have an entire lengthy meta in my drafts about how i *loathe* the "the Batfamily meets the Justice League" genre of fanfic because it makes no *sense*. in order to have this genre of fic exist, you must operate under the assumption that no one in the League, or adjacent to the League, knows the Batfamily exists and are thus utterly shocked to discover Batman has kids. and to make *that* work, you have to strip *every single Batfamily member* of such important dynamics and friendships so you can lock them all in Gotham for their whole lives. Dick can't have the Titans, Tim can't have Young Justice, Duke & Cass can't have the Outsiders, Jason can't have the Outlaws, Damian can't have the Supersons, Babs can't have the Birds of Prey, and so on. because if they had these relationships, they would be known to the League. the Batfamily fandom doesn't care about this, it's just "silly fanfiction", it's not trying to be serious. but how can you say you like Dick Grayson as a character if you don't understand the Titans *are* his family? at some points of his life, moreso than the Batfamily even is. it is constantly repeated to us in most comics with Dick how much the Titans mean to him. he *needs* them to be who he is. the same extends to every other Batfamily member, most of which have been full League members at this point. but in fanon, that doesn't matter. the Batfamily are a sequestered unit first, and all of those side relationships are secondary and easy to toss away, if it makes your fanfic work better.
and because they have to be a unit first, you have these forced relationships that dump years of actual canon material for the sake of making them get along. the Batfamily fandom has its favorites and well. it's no secret it's usually the boys. Jason and Tim by *far* stand out as fandom faves so, their dynamic is a heavily explored one. it does matter that in canon they don't tend to get along and especially don't see each other as family. what matters is that you can push dynamics onto them. and so fanon gets all twisted up about which Robin Tim actually idolized as a kid (Dick) and what member of the Batfamily is pro-murder but still an older sibling figure to him and looks out for him (Helena, or if you want the dynamic of once tried to harm Tim but they've reconciled, Jean-Paul) in favor of who's the most popular. Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian are always going to be the standouts for popularity, but it's specifically Jason and Tim who are getting fanonized the most. and that's because really, we don't have much canon content of Tim that *isn't* the comics. for Dick you've got Young Justice (tv), for Damian you've got the DCAMU, for Jason you've sort of got the Under The Red Hood movie, but Tim sort of lingers in this limbo. (yes, he's in Young Justce (tv) and Titans (live action) but in neither is he the main character nor given much depth) so, he gets a *lot* projected onto him and has become fanonized. and even with Jason's animated movies, you don't see him interact with Tim, so people build it from the ground up how they want to see it, disregarding of canon comics. i think it's what makes him so popular in the first place- he's malleable into whatever you want or need him to be.
and of course, the fanon ignores other characters in the Batfamily it doesn't know about. i feel like you could create a tier list of Batfamily characters by their popularity, going from the fandom main characters: Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred, Dick, Damian. to the underrated: Steph, Duke, Babs, Cass. to the forgotten about unless they're convenient for a story: Kate, the Foxes, Helena Wayne, Carrie, Selina, Harper Row, Maps, Minhkhoa Khan. to the absolutely unknown: Helena Bertinelli, Jean-Paul Valley, Onyx Adams, the Clovers, Julia Pennyworth. it's not lost on me that the ignored characters tend to be women and people of color. which is both a canon and fanon problem, DC will continue adding interesting characters to the Batfamily, play with them for a few years, then drop them to default to the "Batboys" again. and it's a vicious cycle of the fandom only caring about the "Batboys", and thus people entering the fandom via fanon osmosis won't have content about the other characters, therefore, they won't be interested in those characters enough to create it, and it's just this ouroboros consuming itself, no matter how much canon content we have of these other characters. and it's ridiculous just how large the Batfamily is becoming because of this, which is why i'm a pre-Flashpoint fan, because then the Batfamily was contained enough to actually feel like a family with every character having nuances relationships with each other, but i digress because those thoughts could be their own post.
and the thing about fanon is it doesn't exist in a vacuum. DC has started turning the comics to accommodate for what fans are asking for, because fans will beg and beg for content they're not going to consume. Tim Drake: Robin had Tim as a coffee drinker because that's the fanon accepted headcanon. and the resolution of the recent Gotham War arc was for Bruce to buy this new manor for everyone to move in and call him. nevermind that most of these characters have their own homes and have zero reason to be moving in with Bruce. Tim had his marina in Tim Drake: Robin, Dick has Bludhaven, Cass and Steph have their little side of town in Batgirls (2022), and so on. these characters are being forced together as a unit, as one big happy family living together, to appease what non-comic fans want and it's damaging comic relationships. Robin: Knight Terrors saw Jason and Tim team up and working together, which i've seen varying opinions on but i personally despised. their interactions made zero sense for any of their canon history, but it appeases them being this close sibling relationship that fanon acts like they are. also the fears they faced in their respective knight terrors didn't make sense for either character and *only* worked as a moment of bringing them together so they could reassure each other and have this weird dreamscape bonding moment. the canon is bending itself to the will of fanon rather than building on the pre-existing complex relationships. Tim barely even gets along with his most important team in Dark Crisis: Young Justice because it seems the only important relationships the Batfamily can have is with each other. and when we do see them outside of the Batfamily, it only seems to be to relive the glory days like with World's Finest: Teen Titans, instead of developing them as they currently exist. this isn't recent in the comics, it feels like you can trace it back to the New-52, but it does feel a *lot* worse over the recent years. WFA is fine when it exists in its own bubble, but the simple truth is, DC content never exists on its own. the adaptations will reflect back onto the comics. (the damage the Young Justice cartoon has done to some characters should honestly be studied) and so it does frustrate me a bit when fanon-only or adaptation-only fans act like we're being nothing but killjoys for being frustrated with this. since they don't read the comics, they don't see how the comics are suffering as a result of this.
people argue about what's out of character for the comics they don't even read. i'm sorry, but "bad dad Bruce" is consistently canon. that man is just kind of shitty. when you take someone who has the drive he has, who has this need for the Mission first, who needs a teenager in spandex next to him to keep him off the ledge, that guy is sort of going to be a shitty father figure. he just is. not on purpose or with malice, but when you compare him to any other dad in a big DC family, he sure takes the cake. it's why characters like Oliver Queen tend to *really* fucking hate Bruce for how he treats his kids. Bruce loves fiercely, but he doesn't do well with putting that love first. and his love is a controlling one, he is very particular about controlling how others in the Batfamily are "allowed" to operate. it's what drives the wedge between him and Dick, it's why Steph is never a true daughter to him. (besides the reason of her needing to be a love interest to Tim first, anyway-) i've never understood the massive outcry of people reacting to Bruce kinda being shitty in comics they're not reading. there are some moments that get ridiculously OOC with how cartoonishly evil he is (the whole Gotham War arc and that... complicated mess with Jason) but largely if you want sitcom loving nuclear father Bruce, you have to accept that is a fanon thing, not a canon one. the Batfamily being a nuclear family in *general* is fanon. most of the "Batkids" don't actually see Bruce in a particularly fatherly light and begging for moments where he calls them his kids or they call him dad outside of incredibly specific circumstances is just OOC.
it's getting harder and harder to exist peacefully in this fandom it feels like, if you don't comply to the standard fanon has set. i'm happy people are having fun with their blorbos, even if in ways i dislike, but that "harmless fandom fun" does ripple it's way back to canon, eventually. so i end up pretty tangled with my feelings because are fans at fault for DC making these poor decisions? probably not, but it certainly feels like an unfortunate cause-and-effect situation whether at the end of the day, nobody is happy. and of course, i know some fanon-only fans are striving to be more canon accurate and care about canon dynamics more than others, but for them it's always going to be an uphill battle with the above-mentioned out-of-context panels thrown around and ever-pervasive fanon overtaking anything that's truly seeking to be canon compliant. so really, it sometimes feels like we're all losing.
#necrotic festerings#batfamily#batfamily meta#dc comics#fandom meta#fan studies#fanon vs canon#i deleted paragraphs of this to try to make it shorter. it failed btw.#anyway i got into comics when i was like 12 with the dark knight returns#and if i hadn't been into this medium for a decade i don't think i would be able to get into it as an adult so i get it#bc i'm trying to get into marvel comics and fuck ME am i confused as fuck.#do marvel comics have like. an equivalent to crisis events?#is the ultimates like their version of the new-52? i do NOT know#it's so hard and daunting so trust me i get it#if you never wanna pick up a comic god i respect you you're so right this is fucking miserable#i want to live and let live in fandom but *god* i'm struggling here#i used to bend to the will of fanon fun fact#i wrote my share of tim and jason fics playing into fanon tropes. god i hate them *now* but they did fucking numbers.#and i used to care more about getting attention in fandom than being accurate#i've matured now. it's why i write on anonymous so much to remind myself this should be for me.#anyway i could do a character study on every batfam member as fanon vs canon#ESPECIALLY tim and jason. i know so much about them trust me.#jason todd fans annoyed me so much i once sat and read almost every fucking jason comic. i didn't even like him.#but i tell you what i know that man and he will never leave my top five characters on league of comics.#this is so long. is anyone going to read all of this.#if you do you're a fucking trooper i'm saluting you.#this isn't even all of my thoughts i had to condense myself.#bc i also have thoughts about how this means some characters no longer get to exist outside of the batfam#because they only exist as a member of the unit#ergo we have very little current content of helena bertinelli or onyx adams or duke thomas
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not tagging the person bcs i don't want to call anyone out but like,,,, saw this one girl and her post formatting made it even look like a chatgpt generated thing... checked her other stuff to see and they all had that one formatting... thought i'd tell her and like. babe. you turning off asks just about confirms it for me, i mean imma just guess that you noticed lots of asks telling you the same and decided we're sooooooooo mean!! and ignored it
#dick grayson x reader#x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#dc comics x reader#i think y'all probably saw her stuff 💀#like i'm anti-ai but i know you can't stop people#most people don't give a shit#about ethics or whatnot#but at least be straight up about it lmao#one last hint#at the time i'm writing this it says she wrote her headcanons three hours ago#honestly insulting tbh. i'd rather read some cringe 12 year old's enthusiastic attempt than your lame copy paste istg#also the fact that it's not even a chatbot. the formatting makes me think it's fucking chatgpt????#mf that's embarrassing even for an ai prompt person#bruhhhhhhhhhh at least use like. a creative writing thing or what you're so embarrassing#tagging another fandom where i notice this too lmao#lads x reader#love and deepspace x reader#sylus x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#xavier x reader
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some goofy lil transparent images of the design I use for N, featuring his design from the Ghost Drone AU (he is tired). These are for future references and things where I just need to casually put one in the corner of something
#zeisty don't post and create challenge impossible#next up i am going to post a long ass prologue i wrote for ghost drone on ao3#this is not a joke#murder drones#ghost drone au#murder drones n#tw nudity#he is a robot so once again it is super doll-like#but still. he is unclothed in areas#also don't @ me i don't know what disassembly drone chests look like#zeisty’s in betweens
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Okay but I need to know what the people who have only watched c3 think about Beau and Caleb because I've been rotating them in my head for three years too long to be objective anymore but like. Getting to see them through the eyes of a new party just reminded me that even though so much of our delight in C2 was focused around the constant indignity of the Nein, they are objectively a flickering metronome between "how the fuck are these people alive" and "this is the most hyper competent group of mercenaries I've ever seen" and I just. Do they know. Do they know that Beau is so fucking cool. Are there people who learned these two npcs have a whole campaign and want to learn more about them. I look at these two and see a montage of tiefling dicks and red eyes and promising to kill the other if something goes wrong. I see Caleb smearing mud and bat shit on Beau's face and Beau just resigned even as she makes the most aggrieved and annoyed sounds, Beau hauling Caleb's dissociated ass over her own skinny shoulder and walking him to safety. I look at them and see 500 hours and more of the empire siblings. The weeks and months they spent going from hating the parts of themselves they saw in each other to loving in the other what they still struggled with in themselves. I see chosen siblings, best friends. What do other people see?
#Do they know how much went into Beauregard Lionett asking 'you got my back?' knowing he did#How earned 'what's the play Beauregard' is#beauregard lionett#caleb widogast#CR spoilers#Critical role#CR c3#Bells hells#Edited to add: don't use this as an excuse to bitch about C2 please#I've already removed and blocked one person#I get some frustration on the attention c1 characters have gotten but don't get mad at c2 fans for it#We've been starved and we're just excited#And this is just wondering your impressions of Beau and Caleb#'Beau is a dick' yeah you're right! She is and I love her so much I wrote 800#Sorry eight hundred thousand words about her#Several thousand of them also about Caleb#So don't be a dick please#Whatever your thoughts these characters brought people out of some dark dark places#It's me I'm people
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Into Your Own Hands
Summary: Ryis decides to pine from a distance in order to be a better wingman for March. The farmer has other ideas.
Ryis is many things: A son, a brother, a nephew, a pretty good woodworker if he were to say so himself. A friend, and he tried to be a good one.
Ryis is also in love, although he would desperately like to not be.
Mistria is, despite its constant activity, a very small town with a very close knit community. It’s one of the things that made him love it there, that and the quiet that let him hear birdsong with more clarity and variety. Everyone knew each other and everyone had some manner of bond that had existed for at least a year or two, so it made sense that the arrival of a new member of the community would spark interest in everyone. Ryis wasn’t exempt from this, after all the last time someone new came it was him, but he liked to think himself a little bit chiller about it than some others.
Chiller than March, he means.
March is, as much as he likes to hide it, a pretty good guy underneath all his bluster. He just doesn’t like change, when Ryis first moved in it took March a week to stop sulking and talk to him. It was only once Friday came along and Olric dragged his brother to the inn that he and Ryis actually got to have a conversation and that (Plus one or two of Hemlock’s drinks) was all it took to spark a friendship that would surely last a lifetime. Because besides being craftspeople and their mutual adoration of Mistria and its citizens, the quality Ryis and March shared in the highest quantity was their loyalty.
Which is why Ryis can’t acknowledge his growing fondness for the new farmer.
You see, after the earthquake a lot of things needed repairing and the citizens of Mistria needed a distraction, so a new face was just what the town needed. Ryis, on his part, was eager to welcome the new farmer into town, after all he knew better than anyone what it was like to be the new member of a well established community. Besides, he knew they would be working together on the myriad of reconstruction projects, so it was only natural that they get along outside of work. It helped that they were very easy to get along with.
March, as is his wont, was not as receptive to this newcomer. No one was surprised when any conversation with him eventually led to him grumbling about the no good farmer who was only here for their own gain and totally wasn’t going to last the season. Ryis, at least, was surprised when these grumblings continued past the first week of the farmer being there.
After all, the farmer went to very great lengths to talk to everyone frequently, March included, and usually once he got to know someone he mellowed out at least a little. But no, it seemed that March’s ire only grew with every attempt to make peace the farmer made. Ryis tried to reassure them that March would warm up to them eventually, (He had to, they were just too charming even for March to hate for long), but his reassurances could only go so far when March seemed to go out of his way to antagonize the farmer. It wasn’t until late spring that Ryis found out why March was being so… like that.
For all his guardedness it only takes a couple drinks to get all of March’s walls to crumble like a termite infested fence, and once they did the blacksmith was the most open book in the world. There was no such thing as secrets with drunk March, so Ryis got a front row seat as March got to rambling about the farmer once more, and it instantly became plain as day that March’s blush that night was not caused by the beer.
Ryis couldn’t remember a time March was ever so enthralled with someone. He sat there and listed out Ryis’ thoughts verbatim about how interesting and capable the farmer was, how helpful and hardworking, and Ryis realized two things simultaneously.
One: He was developing a crush on the farmer.
And Two: He could not, under any circumstances, let it continue to grow.
When was the last time March was so enamored with anyone? When had he ever been this animated when talking about something that wasn’t made of metal? March had always been a happy drunk but this was beyond anything that Ryis had ever seen from his friend and he wanted desperately for that happiness to continue.
So he resolved himself to try and help March realize the feelings he had while he was sober as well as pushing the farmer in his direction whenever possible. It was easy for Ryis to ignore his own feelings, at first, after all the farmer hadn’t been there long and was always running around going who knows where to do who knows what. Out of sight out of mind and all that, and when they were not out of mind Ryis could always find a project to take his mind off them for a little while. And when that failed to work he could always tell himself that once their novelty wore off so too would his unfortunate crush.
And then the general store was ready to be remodeled and all that flew out the window.
Unlike with the bridge Ryis couldn’t do the whole thing alone in a single day, and aside from his uncle (Who he loved very dearly and wanted to enjoy his retirement as much as possible) the only person qualified to help was the farmer. So the two of them set to work and Ryis tried very hard not to think about how every time their hands touched when exchanging tools a shock would go up his arm and send his heart racing, or how every so often he’d look up from his work and see them so deeply focused that he fell just a little deeper in love.
That, he thinks, is what finally broke the dam and now when he aims the farmer in March’s direction (Because he still does, because he loves March) it is accompanied by a horrible pang in his chest that he knows he’ll never be able to get rid of.
‘It’s fine.’ He tells himself. He’ll make do with what he can get and he’ll blame the work on why he’s so flushed every time he joins the farmer on a project and when March can finally admit to himself that he doesn’t hate them Ryis will look on as two of his favorite people can freely admit their love for eachother and it will be because of him and maybe the ache in his chest will get a little easier to live with.
The next time he sees the farmer, Ryis wants to hide in his scarf. They’re sweaty and out of breath and he can tell why when they hand him a stack of hardwood so big he wonders how they fit it all in their bag. They smile so wide when he accepts it and their face makes him want to melt. That doesn’t stop him from inviting them to the shop, of course. After all, it's hot and he can’t move all of that himself (he can) and wouldn’t they like to sit down and cool off for a second after all that work? Really it’s the least he could do after everything they’ve done for the town (for him).
And now they’re alone in the shop and the wood is all put away and Ryis would talk about all the projects he has planned for it except the farmer makes it really hard for him to think and of course Landen is gone and can’t distract the farmer from him so they’re just watching him stammer with those intensely beautiful eyes of theirs and Ryis realizes a little too late that he said that last part out loud.
Mortified, Ryis looks away and it takes him a minute before he can bear to take his eyes off the pile of sawdust they landed on and return them to the farmer. The sight that greets him when he does is not what he expected; The farmer is staring at him with a sort of half-smile and did they get closer? Their face is definitely closer to his than it was when he looked away. He bashfully tells them that he’s sorry and they should probably forget what he said and after a second they say that maybe they don’t want to. Maybe they gave him all that hardwood because to them his smile is the prettiest thing in the whole town.
And every plan Ryis ever made to play matchmaker for March goes in the trash because hearing that makes his heart stop and when the farmer kisses him it is the most right anything has ever felt. And soon they’ll have to leave because it’s late and their chickens are still outside and then Ryis will have to grapple with the fact that he just kissed the person his best friend is in love with but for now none of that matters because after a season and a half of pining and pushing his feelings down it feels like he can finally breathe.
And as the farmer leaves, trailing promises to see him soon behind them, Ryis revels in not having to dread their next meeting any more.
#fom#fields of mistria#fields of mistria x reader#fom ryis#fields of mistria ryis#ryis x reader#in a sense#if you squint#I did it guys#I actually posted a fic!#I wrote this in a couple hours and didn't proofread it so if you see any mistakes no you don't <3#also this is on AO3 too#enjoy this bullshit#feast my fellow Ryis enjoyers I hope I wrote him decent#Also sorry to the person who requested this#I know this isn't really what you asked for but I couldnt deny the idea I had
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