#i also believe he was relatively 'normal' up until the death note sent a lot of that shit spiralling

[dominote]

i think light yagami is "socially adept" in terms of being able to reason out relatively well what to say and do to come off as a harmless and good and polite young man who is likeable to be around. however i do not think "socially adept" (or "neurotypical") typically comes with having to preface every other normal-passing action and statement with a minor crisis of "ah shit. quick, what would i say/do in response to this if i was light yagami, a normal and nice and respectable young man?"

everyone likes to talk about him talking about kira in third person but can we acknowledge that he also talks about LIGHT in third person. i'm not adding manga panels at 3:57am but y'all know exactly which ones i mean

[imasimpforshanks]

Heyyyyyy hiiiiii hope your having an awesome day drinking that water getting hydrated 😗. I was wondering if you could do a Law Angst alphabet please. But only if you feel up to it and have time. If you don’t feel free to ignore or do it later here now have a cookie 🍪 because your awesome 😊

Angst Alphabet - Trafalgar Law

a/n: HI HI!!! thank you for your kind words!! I hope you are looking after yourself <333 here is the law angst! Please enjoy 🥰

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

He would only blame himself if any of his actions led to the accident that caused your death (we’ve seen him blame himself for that very reason about Rosinantes death). If his actions weren’t directly correlated to your death in any way then he would not blame himself, though he would kick himself for not being able to help you in time. Other than that, Law is painfully aware of the harsh reality that is life.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Law would break up with you in a seemingly emotionless way. He’d mask his true feelings, while telling you a whole bunch of excuses why the two of you could no longer be together. He doesn’t believe any of them, but he’s got to do what he’s got to do.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

I feel like I’ve used this one in a few other character alphabets but it really applies to Law too. He would cause you to stress and panic so much over his health and wellbeing. He’s a literal doctor. He should know to take better care of himself, but he just doesn’t seem to care about himself the same way you do. So it isn’t until you’re crying in front of him, spilling your heart out about how concerned you are for his safety that he realizes his health is important to more than just himself.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

My god, if Law was to lose another person that he loved, he literally would never want to let himself get close to anyone ever again. Your death would be it for Law. He’d basically be on the verge of giving up himself. What other reason does he have to go on.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

He tries to hide every emotion. Law doesn’t like to be too open, out of fear of people using it against him or it simply being too much of a sign of weakness. So, very rarely does he let his emotions show. He also tries to divert attention away from himself in hopes that people won’t focus on him or his emotions for too long.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

This was covered in his fluff alphabet! But here it is again:

Your fights tend to be pretty short lived resulting in forgiveness and apologies from both sides relatively quickly. He really doesn’t like to stay mad at you for too long – he’d much rather have you two on the same page.

Most fights are caused by stress and concerns of health and safety, so Law does a lot of eye rolling and using his title as a ‘doctor’ as justification that he knows what he’s doing so you just need to chill – but like I said these fights are very short lived.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

Law will never forgive himself for Rosinantes death. He will forever feel responsible for his death – it was all his fault. If only he hadn’t given that note to Vergo, then Rosinante would still be alive. He died because of Law’s incompetence (at least that’s what he tells himself).

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Law would act pretty normal. He wouldn’t behave any differently until he’s left alone. Only then would he let himself go and truly feel that heartbreak.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Thanks to the doctor in him, Law is able to remain calm. He can keep his composure until he administers whatever treatment necessary. That’s not to say he isn’t worried though. He’s just capable of focusing on the injury right in front of him.

Only once he is certain that you are stable does he (or potentially his crew) go and hunt down the cause of your beating.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When Law does get jealous (which is rarely), he gets quiet. His fists clench a little more, and his frown deepens. He also speaks less than usual (which is already pretty hard to beat). He only gives you short snippy replies until he eventually gets over it.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Law would kill for revenge, yes. He literally wanted to kill Doflamingo as revenge for Rosinante. However, it was in Law’s plan that Kaido would be the one to kill Doflamingo (after they fought) – so I believe that is how he’d kill for revenge as well. He would devise a fool proof plan (okay maybe not fool proof, bc if the straw hats are involved who knows what could go wrong).

In short, yes. Law would kill for revenge.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

This poor man has suffered so much loss in his life that it’s actually really difficult to choose which would be his greatest loss. He lost his entire family as a young boy while also having a shortened lifespan himself. Losing his family, and the realization that he only had a few more years to live, really made him lose his will to live a good remainder of his life. Young Law literally became a pirate.

However, he did meet Rosinante (Corazon) and he gave him another reason to live. Furthermore, Rosinante actively sought out a cure for Law so that he could continue to live a long life. Basically, Rosinante became a father figure/older brother to Law. So, losing him – another ¬person he loved so dearly – would have been beyond devastating.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

There was one day where he spent the entire day ignoring you. It was completely unintentional. His mind was swarming with plans and all this other information that has just come in. He got so immersed in it that he didn’t talk to you or tell you what was going on for a whole day.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

Nightmares are one of the many reasons Law hardly ever sleeps. He’s haunted by his family’s and Rosinantes deaths. His nightmares get particularly bad around the same time each year (that is, around the time of year that they died). He wakes up trembling and on the verge of tears (but he never lets them fall). Instead of even trying to go back to sleep, he’ll make himself a nice hot cup of coffee and immerse himself in a book or work of some kind – anything to avoid going back to sleep and risking a re-run of that horrible nightmare.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

Sometimes his exhaustion catches up to him and other times its all the stress building up that finally he snaps and all the emotions are too overwhelming that he just directs it to the nearest outlet, which just so happens to be you.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

You walked in on him absolutely breaking down over Rosinante. One evening Law retreated to his room while you and the rest of the crew were eating and drinking. He didn’t think you had noticed him leave, but soon you were following after him. You opened the door and found him breaking down in the middle of the room. You completely forgot that it was the anniversary of Rosinantes death. It was the first time you had seen him this distraught and it broke your heart.

It really cemented into your brain that no matter how tough he may look, he still suffers (probably more so than anyone). But, you were also grateful that you were able to see him like that, as it allowed him to start relying on you a little more.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His inability to openly express his emotions. Sure, now he will share with you how he is feeling, but that is with you and ONLY you. He still insists on keeping everything else bottle away from the rest of the world which is a really unhealthy way to deal with things. It’s not that you dislike being there for him, in fact, you appreciate how trusting he is with you. It’s just, what if there comes a time where you aren’t around and he’s in desperate need of someone to confide in?

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around)).

Law would wait until he was 100% certain you returned his feelings to confess to you. So, if you were to reject his confession he would be really confused for a while. He’d let it go because well, everyone has their own reasons – its not his place to tell you how you feel. All he can do is tell you how he feels and then the rest is up to you.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

He has no self-inflicted scars, and to my knowledge he has no battle scars either. But, his arm did get cut off and then reattached during the Dressrosa arc, so it actually is likely that there is a remaining scar from that (although I’m not certain).

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

Nope not at all. In fact, the only instance in which he would possibly break your trust, or lie to you, about is when he went to Punk Hazard and sent his crew to Zou. Some would assume that he wouldn’t tell you his plan out of fear of your safety, but that’s not true. He had to tell you. You taught him to be open and honest, and to trust. So that’s exactly what he did.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Law has gotten so comfortable around you that whenever you aren’t there, he gets unbearably anxious. Your presence is soothing, even if he can’t see you, even if he can only hear your voice echoing throughout the Polar Tang, it’s enough to put his mind at ease. So, if you are separated for a while… oh boy does he want to see you badly.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

He tends to yell at you. He tells you to “piss off” and that “you’re only being a nuisance right now”, despite you only wanting to help him.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Not being able to control things makes Law feel really weak. Weak may not be the right word, but it definitely makes him feel unprepared. He doesn’t like when things are out of his control and he can’t account for things. Which is usually why he always does extensive research and preparation before constructing a well thought out plan.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Well, I mean other than his obvious hatred of bread, Law also really hates when he works extremely hard on formulating a plan only for it to be completely thrown out of the window by a reckless straw hat wearing captain and his entire crew. (and somehow everything still ends up working out!!! That is the part that frustrates Law the most HAHAH).

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

One of the only things he’s ever really wanted was for Doflamingo to be taken down. He’s been partially successful in that sense, seeing as Doflamingo is in prison now. However, he wants more than that. He wants Doflamingo to suffer the same way he has.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

It may seem a little out of character but… I believe Law would be borderline desperate/inconsolable. There would be a lot of clinging on to you, begging you not to leave him like everyone else he’s ever loved. He can’t handle another person leaving him, it’s too much. It’s far too much.

He wouldn’t cry (just yet), but his voice would tremble, and his hands would be shaking. His mind would be racing with all sorts of theories and possible ways he could save you. How could he possibly prevent the inevitable?

[ask-sou-hiyori]

Important Lore!

This post will contain very important details about this blog. It’s highly recommended that newcomers read this in order to understand aspects that will be mentioned throughout the blog!

It may be long since so much has happened and Mod Soup wants the audience to understand as much as they can, but also lore is very tasty so there’s that too.

Everything will be listed underneath the Keep Reading as to not clog up the current events, but will remain pinned and be updated when needed~!

(MAIN: @soupietime )

(Disclaimer: if you've seen and read before I was involved in the Takeover event and all that, please note that the previous Dad Midori stuff is NON-CANON to this blog, it makes me, the mod, quite uncomfortable. thank u and here's a snail 🐌 \^o^/)

(...Catboy Shin event was pretty funny though not gonna lie)

(Added fact: I HAVE NOT PLAYED 3-1B YET-)

(Added ADDED fact: I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED PLAYING 3-1B)

(Keys: MILL / More Information Listed Later)

BASIC INFORMATION

Name: Shin Tsukimi / Sou Hiyori (previously)

Age: 22

Height: 5’5”

Weight: 106 lbs

Sexuality: Bisexual (male leaning)

RELATIONSHIPS

Gin Ibushi (@askgin-ibushi) - Familial love. His only son, officially adopted before the beginning of the “#up the tower” (MILL) HE LOVES HIS EPIC SOOOOOOON.

Sara Chidouin (@ask-chidouin-sara) - Didn’t pay much mind at first due to lack of trust, but soon developed a protective nature towards the girl. Adoption material?

Sou Hiyori/Midori/Spark (@ask-sou-midori) - Unaware of his new name (Spark). He has heavily conflicting feelings due to the effects of “#event: blended” (MILL) but currently does not forgive him for his actions due to the amount of trauma caused to both him and his family. He’s afraid of this man, yet misses him greatly. Seeing him brings him immense pain, but also a strange comfort. He is unaware whenever he relapses with Hiyori.

Zinnia (@askgin-ibushi) - Strong security guard lady… kind and protective. Good for comfort and cuddling. Soft.

Leidora Margarati (@askgin-ibushi) - Resident Doctor. Helped Shin realize that Midori/Spark gave him severe brain damage with the “blending” and everything in his blended life was a lie. Shin is grateful for her in telling him the truth, but as a result Shin has many conflicting feelings about everything and himself, plenty of migraines and headaches to go along with it all. Leidora is the one helping Shin heal from the severe trauma caused.

Shin Tsukimi (literally me) - ……

(There are various other blogs out there, but Shin has not made much of a relationship with them yet. These blogs are who Shin has interacted with relatively a lot and thus formed relationships and thoughts about them)

CHARACTER CONNECTIONS

Every character from these blogs are from their own YTTD universe. Through the power of Tumblr and ask blogs, a rift was torn and brought these characters together.

Though… Gin and Midori/Spark have been known to be from the same universe.

Revealed during “#hospital arc”, Shin is from Gin and Midori’s universe as well. It’s been believed he perished due to an act to save Kanna in the second main game, and then killed after an escape attempt. However, that was proved false after a conversation between Shin and Spark, Shin showing him his abundance of gunshot scars from how he was “killed” in the second main game, Spark immediately recognized the scars, and thus… the reveal has been made. Gin is aware of this fact as well after Shin returned to the hospital, the two now closer than ever.

There had been a Sara in the three's universe. Gin had taken his own Sara with his sacrifice win, but she had eventually offed herself, leaving Gin as the only survivor before finding out that Shin survived as well.

Kanna is a sister to Shin. Shin is a brother to Kanna.

Gin and Shin are family :) Father and son

EVENTS

(NOTE: If you are going to read through the tags of the events, MAKE SURE to read through the notes of any interactions, as very important parts of the events are played out through interactions between the blogs. It’s not only through the asks of the audience. Plus it's easier than scrolling through to find every single interaction reblog)

#event: takeover (@askgin-ibushi)

The event that brought us together

Part 1 synopsis

Part 2 synopsis

You may read these synopses on the event in the links above, or you may read through the whole tag on Gin’s blog :D

#event: blended

(TW: mental manipulation and toxic relationships)

After the events of Takeover, Shin was found by Gin in… well, Gin’s room. Midori manipulated Shin before getting chased away and told Shin to stay in the room until he came back. Obviously, Midori did not come back. Shin only left the house after getting a few answers from Gin (who came up to his room shortly after Takeover) about what happened, and Gin falling asleep. Snzz.

Soon after, Shin gets a call from Midori again, and… surprise surprise… Midori manipulated Shin once again and got the man to follow him into a warehouse, putting a machine (that was similar to the one Midori put on Gin previously) onto Shin’s head despite the man’s loud and frantic protests, “blending” his brain and turning him into his own “perfect Shin”, which was a Shin that absolutely loved and adored the man, doing anything he would tell him.

Midori, using Shin’s totally real love and adoration to his advantage, sent him to Gin with the intent to lure and kidnap him. After all… Gin was part of Shin’s “family”, it would be wrong to just leave him alone… While Shin had a “family” mindset, Midori wanted to kidnap the kid solely due to the fact that Gin was the “winner” of their death game via sacrifice. Midori had the job of collecting the winner and making them join Asunaro. Shin and Midori’s plan succeeded, the two kidnapping both Gin and Hinako (she was there too with Gin. Asuga was also there but she was knocked tf out so yeah).

After kidnapping Gin, Midori had blended him as well, finally creating their “perfect little family”.

...All was going “well” until Gin decided to fight Midori to protect Hinako. That soon resulted in Gin getting stabbed by Midori, and Midori’s head getting bashed onto the ground. Due to the blunt force trauma, Midori developed something similar to a conscience, now realizing what wrong he’s done and a will to assist Shin after seeing him panic over a bleeding out Gin.

They eventually arrive to a hospital, Gin getting the treatment he deserves, Shin getting observed by Leidora and figuring out what Midori has done to Shin’s brain, Sara getting blended as well, but only to erase her memories, and Midori leaving after Shin confronted the man about what Leidora has told him. Midori finally leaves Shin’s life…

...Or does he?

#up the tower

(TW: suicide attempt)

Days after entering the hospital, Shin constantly has headaches and conflicting feelings about everything he’s ever known. He thinks about what was fabricated, and what’s real. At times, he even has trouble differentiating the two. Shin’s blending had made him basically addicted to Midori like a drug. With the lack of Midori around because of Leidora’s advice, Shin goes into a withdrawal over the man, and soon develops hallucinations over him. The hallucination is tame, but starts leading Shin out of the room, making him follow him all the way up to the roof, ignoring those who stand in his way.

In reality, the hallucination had only left the room, disappearing right after. It was Shin himself who had decided to make his way to the roof. Before he had left the room, Shin was on a call with Midori… Midori found out about the hallucinations and took that as Shin missing him dearly, his “error” fixing temporarily and the man driving over to come collect Shin. When Shin mentioned over the phone about walking “up the tower” to wait for Midori, then jumping off to land in his arms in a false fantasy, Midori’s error picked up again and panicked, now rushing to the hospital.

Once reaching the top, followed by Sara and Leidora, Shin stood over the edge, remaining there as the others spoke to him, trying to convince him not to jump. Shin revealed he's been having so many problems with himself: He's weak, he's awful, he's a horrible parent, he could've prevented all of this, and various other bad thoughts about himself, and then the constant pain he's felt since the blending, which has only gotten worse overtime, was the breaking point for him, he just couldn't handle it anymore. The pain was unbearable.

It had only calmed down once Gin made his way to the roof, bleeding due to opening his injuries up again while walking up to the roof after anons told him about the situation. The moment Shin took notice of Gin and heard his voice, he realized why he's still here. It would make him even more of an awful person to jump and leave him alone once again. Soon enough, Shin staggered off the edge of the roof and embraced Gin.

This arc ended with Shin, Gin, Sara, and Leidora going back into the hospital. Midori had been watching this entire time, the sight of Shin's suicide attempt making him leave once more, realizing it was his fault that the attempt even occurred.

#hospital arc

Several months had gone by since Gin, Sara, and Shin had entered the hospital. Gin's being cared for his injury while it scars up, Sara is there due to her blending, and Shin is mainly there on a close watch due to his suicide attempt, while also there healing from his blending.

Shin relapses, and escapes the hospital to go see Midori again, breaking his room's window and hopping out and landing on mattresses that an anon laid out during "#up the tower". The whole hospital is in a panic at his disappearance, especially since Shin was in the mental ward.

Shin goes to Midori's place, and all seems normal until Midori figures out Shin broke out to see him again. Midori wants to take him back, but Shin asks for Dunkin Donuts first, something to eat since the man hasn't been eating right since the hospital. They get their food, and thanks to an employee commenting about the two being "lovers", Midori quickly pays and drives away as fast as he could, ending up in the woods. The two lay down on the ground for a while and have a few talks. Only when some anons give Shin steps on how to run away, Midori brings Shin back into the car and starts driving back to the hospital.

...They don't get that far, as some teasing occurs and Midori's "error" fixes itself for a brief moment, and harasses Shin. Shin eventually kicks the man in the nuts which led to Midori threatening not to take Shin back. Shin, of course, freaks out.

Eventually the error returns, and only with a few words of encouragement from Shin does Midori start driving Shin back. Once they arrive, Midori gives Shin a piggyback ride since the man's body is in immense pain. Once they get close enough to the hospital, Shin gives Midori a goodbye hug and a thank you for being relatively good, and finally returns to the hospital.

Shin had reached the hospital, but his legs had quickly given out, causing him to fall face first onto the ground. A security guard, Zinnia, was the first to find him and carry him back into the hospital, where they were met with an upset Leidora, demanding that Shin speak about his whole breakout. Shin... couldn't speak, he was too tired and absolutely exhausted. After Zinnia managed to temporarily make the doctor leave, she brought him back to his new room (no windows this time) and let him rest.

Soon, Gin had peeked into the room, both him and Shin glad to see each other again. They had a comforting moment before Shin decided to talk to Gin about what happened during their game. Gin, still thinking he's the only survivor, asked Shin about his own game. Eventually, Shin revealed to the boy that he was not the only survivor after all. When Shin showed Gin his gunshot scars, Gin finally realized his dad was his own Shin all this time, and soon ran out of the room in a panic, in despair over the fact that he had "killed" Shin's Kanna, whom was a little sister to Shin, because of his sacrifice win, even though Shin nearly died in order to protect her. Shin's act to protect Kanna was futile.

Zinnia to the rescue! She caught the young boy in her arms, as well as Shin, who had been chasing after Gin. She brought the two back into Shin's room and told them to talk it out like normal people. And so.. they did. It ended well, and now the two are sleeping so soundly together in each others embrace like father and son. Zinnia sits with the two, watching over them to protect them. Snzz.

#event: shin ai

//ONGOING EVENT//

After returning Shin back to the hospital, Midori had a mini breakdown over the situation. In order to attempt to cope, he went back home and brought out something he found in his closet before… a monitor. After hours and hours of trying to fix it back up, it finally worked, and what appeared on the screen was an AI. An AI of Shin, in fact. At first it was incredibly awkward and highly uncomfortable for the AI, since all Midori did was stare at him. But after asking question after question, Midori finally spoke to the AI.

The two conversed and became friends! More "interaction points" were programmed into the AI, per AI's request, and all was chill until an anon started trying to tell the AI what Midori has done in the past. Shin AI knew the man had did bad things, he's lived through so much of that before he had shut down for a long time. But… Midori caught on and finally told the AI what he's done. The AI was mortified at the blending and kidnapping and the like, but had grown some sympathy towards the man. After all, the AI knew about Midori's "error", and how he wanted to change, but he wasn't sure if he deserved to.

The AI kept on reassuring Midori, supporting him the best he can from now on. To pull him away from being Sou Hiyori and allow more room for change, the AI even gave him a new name… Spark.

Spark intended for his gay thoughts to lessen after turning the AI back on but y'know. That only caused him more gay thoughts.

Not too long after… the AI received an email, glimpses of Sou Hiyori flashing every so often on the email, as well as text telling the AI that He'll see him soon. The AI is panicking… but what more could he do about it?

//To be updated soon//

APPEARANCES

Start of the blog

After "#event: blended"

Festival event :) (#event: festival)

"#hospital arc"

(I do not have a sprite made just yet, however, he's wearing an oversized hospital gown with small shorts underneath, as well as the scarf he always wears. There are some eyebags under his eyes, and his eyes themselves still has remnants of the swirls, caused by the blending)

"#event: shin ai"

(Disclaimer: All art/edits shown in this post belong to me)

[chocochar]

ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ? | ᴅᴀʙɪ/ᴛᴏᴜʏᴀ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1: ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜᴏᴍᴇ

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Valentine’s Special | Part 6: TBA

(AN: feel free to skip this first part of the AN, slight spoilers for the story ahead!: Okay so before we start some quick notes: 

Reader and Dabi are 25 presently, Dabi is the eldest sibling with the others being their canon ages.

(I’m mentioning this next part here because I couldn’t figure out how to add it to the title eue) Reader and Touya went to school together since their first year of middle school.

She had gotten pregnant at around 15 with Touya’s baby (this all gets explained!) but given this follows the Touya theory he ‘died’ so she’s a single mom.

I was sorta iffy posting this fic, because I wasn’t sure if it would get any attention, but I’m also excited to do it so... Here you go? lol

Reader’s quirk: Mirror: The ability to make a large force field spanning up to 30 feet or smaller force fields to protect people within it/them. When projectiles hit the fields they are deflected, when non ranged attacks hit them they bounce off. )

[F/n’s POV]

        It’s been 10 years already, since I last saw Touya Todoroki. Even now it feels like almost yesterday his ashes were found in his room at the Todoroki house. I still remember Fuyumi calling me in tears, sobbing nearly to the point she was inaudible and she had to repeat herself more than once. I was 15, pregnant, and finding out my boyfriend for a little over a year had cremated himself, I went into shock before I broke down. My mom was there fortunately, and held me as I shook with sobs.

        “I didn’t even tell him, mom!” I remember screaming over and over until my voice gave out. It was a bad dream, it had to be right? I hoped that every night for a year that I’d wake up to a call from him telling me to get up, that he was outside my house waiting to walk to school.

        But the calls never came, I only saw and talked to Fuyumi and later Natsuo after that; like me they seemed so numb, after all their mom had been sent to a hospital shortly before, their little brother was a complete stranger thanks to their father, and then Touya was gone… I was there for them as much as I could; my mom shortly after Touya’s death moved us a few cities away too, resulting in me changing schools to attend a normal high school. UA became a far away dream along with my future as a hero; this baby became most important to me, it was going to be the last connection I would have to Touya.

        After Kaoru was born it became hard to focus on school and homework, but I pushed through, my mom and older sister Rina helping me with him along the way, and soon enough I was graduated and working towards a career in the police force. Becoming a hero then… It stayed a faraway dream, plus I still wanted to help people.

        “Are you sure about this? Rina and I have already said-”

        “Mom,” I stopped her, smiling while I fed a then 3 year old Karou,”It’ll be fine, plus my quirk will help with hostage situations and raids no matter what. I’ll be a hero in a way still even if it isn’t a pro.”

        Even with my words and smile I don’t think she believed me, but she helped me either way. She was a single mom young, raising Rina and me by herself, so she understood.

        I eventually told Natsuo first about Kaoru and let them meet so long as this big news was kept from his father. Fuyumi was next, and while she tried to convince me to let Kaoru meet his grandfather (if you can even call him that, much less a father) I told her I wasn’t comfortable with it. Especially when Kaoru’s quirk came in: My force fields along with his father’s powerful fire? Not an easy combo when your son wants to try out his new powers. Last to meet him was Rei, and surprisingly Shouto who was visiting his mom, last month; Karou by this point was 10, and while I was surprised to see Shouto so grown up from the pictures I saw (and feeling bad it took so long to bring Kaoru to finally meet his other grandma) they were even more shocked by the little redhead clinging to my leg.

        Kaoru… Looks just like a mini version of his dad: messy, wild red hair, bright blue eyes, pale skin (with a slight mix of my (skin color)), just like Touya. The only thing resembling me is the streak of (hair color) in one of his bangs. Rina and Natsuo have taken part in jokingly calling him ��Chibi’ but it doesn’t seem to bother him much; he’s a calm little guy, a lot like his dad in personality too although he gets his brains from me.~

        Now 25 I’m a police officer, working mainly on tracking cases and hostage situations. Kaoru and I moved back to Musutafu two weeks ago due to me transferring to the station there; with his problems handling his quirk I was hesitant but it made it easier for him to see his other family and I’ve considered asking Shouto if he or one of his friends can help his nephew learn to conquer this power.

        Things seem… Okay. But moving back I can’t help but get this feeling something will change. I just can’t place my finger on it.

[X][X][X]

        “Alright, Kaoru, do you have your bag?”

        “Yes mom.”

        “All your books inside? Did you double check?”

        “Yes mom.”

        Smiling I hand Kaoru his bento to also slip into his bag after I tuck mine into my own. 

        “Good, I made some yummy stuff this morning, there’s some extra so if Hari-chan wants to try any of it you should share a little,” I tell him while slinging my bag over my shoulder. I watch his cheeks turn pink at the mention of his best friend/crush and bite my lip so I don’t giggle. So cute.~

        The two of us leave the apartment and start walking to the stairs, the morning peaceful at least as we head down the steps and start on our way. People pass the two of us as we weave our way through the crowds, people going to their jobs or schools just like Kaoru and me; it’s silent between us, although Kaoru doesn’t talk much normally but Natsuo has been trying to get him out of his shell. 

        “What do you want for dinner tonight?” I ask him, glancing down while we wait to cross the street. He shrugs, meeting my eyes.

        “I don’t really mind anything, I guess oyakodon?” He replies, the crossing light changing and the two of us following the crowd.

        “Oh that sounds delicious! Alright then, I’ll pick you up from Hari-chan’s house after I get off work and we’ll head to the store to get anything we need, okay?” I tell him, Kaoru nodding while the breeze blows through his crimson locks. Looking down at him I sigh, patting his head feeling his hair. “I keep telling you to brush it, Kao,” I smile, the little guy tilting his head away from my hand and scratching the back of it.

        “Natsu-oji said it looks cool, he said it’s how dad started to do his…”

        I go stiff immediately, remembering him again. My eyes watch ahead as my brain swirls with memories I had pushed to the back of my mind a while ago; I keep him in my thoughts of course, it just is painful to regularly remember Touya. Kaoru looks more and more like him as he gets older, from his messy crimson locks to the way he smiles, which makes me both happy and a bit depressed. He never got to see him, he’ll never get to see him grow… My chest tightens thinking about this.

        “Mom?” I stop abruptly and meet my son’s eyes, surprised and coming out of my stupor. He’s pointing to the left at another crosswalk and says,”We need to go this way.” I glance at the street sign realizing I was about to pass where we need to go while so lost in thought. Shaking my head I step next to him and wait, my mind steadily repressing those feelings and thoughts. Kaoru seems to have noticed my shift in mood as I feel his smaller hand take mine and hold it, my (eye color) eyes peering down in surprise. He doesn’t meet mine but I can tell he’s trying to comfort me as best he can while we’re waiting and giving his hand a squeeze we begin to cross when the light changes. 

        We reach his school first and kissing his forehead goodbye (much to his embarrassment) I wave as I hurry off to work.

[X][X][X]

        “Heyyy (F/n),” a voice that makes me inwardly groan speaks up. I stop what I’m typing to look up at Nanaka-san, another officer who’s only been here a few months more than me. He’s younger and seems to know what he’s doing, his quirk giving him the ability to suck in gases and fumes and use them to his own advantage, but he also, from what I’ve seen and heard, has done a few shady deals in the past. I try to steer clear of doing anything more than talking to him while at work. He grins down at me and turning in my chair to face him, he continues,”We’re all goin’ out drinking after work today, you free to join us?” ‘He knows I’m not…’ I think, rubbing my neck and shaking my head.

        “Nanaka, I told you not to ask,” Ira-senpai says, coming over as well. “(L/n)-san has a kid, remember?” 

        Nanaka, while trying not to show it, I can see he’s annoyed she even came over, replying,”Well he has other relatives, right? Can’t they pick him up and watch him?”

        “They work and stuff so I try not to bother them. Maybe another time, okay?” I smile, hoping he gets the hint this time. Fortunately he sighs, shrugging and going off to talk to another coworker. A sigh I didn’t realize I was holding releases while I sit back. “Ira-senpai, thank you. I can’t seem to get him to understand,” I tell her, the older woman’s arms crossed and a chuckle escaping her lips.

        “Just ignore him or let his words go in one ear and out the other, alright, (L/n)-san? He set his sights on you the moment you entered the office but as long as you deflect his advances he’ll move on,” she replies, patting my shoulder. “Tell Kaoru-chan I said ‘hi’ alright? I have to go check out some things on the League of Villains case.” With that she heads off to her desk and I watch her go before turning back to my work. The League of Villains… I too have also been looking into them but given my being new they’ve kept me a lot out of the loop. I only really know their names and appearances and the like, pulling them up in the database I glance over the information that’s accessible to me and read through them.

        ‘They’re kind of like boogeymen,’ I think, getting a look at the photos we do have of them. ‘Powerful yet elusive, they give nightmares to parents and children alike, and people are starting to wonder if they’ll be caught…’ I reach one specific person of interest who stands out: Dabi. His name, ‘cremation’, most likely derived from his quirk which… Uses bright blue flames allegedly powerful enough to cremate. The rest, for the most part, have their true names as well as their villain names but no one seems to know who he is. No crimes beyond the work with the league, no age but appears to be early to mid 20’s, no image but a description of black hair, messy, blue eyes, and scars lining his body along with staples seeming to keep his skin in tact maybe? After reading all of this I decide to check out any articles pertaining to the League, but all I find are mostly discussing ‘Tomura Shigaraki’, the attacks on the UA students, their involvement in the Shie Hassaikai situation, and All Might’s retirement. 

        I do find some murder cases where the victims were burned alive, including the hero Snatch, but they’re unsolved and there’s no suspect yet. Still, I keep it bookmarked for later.

        Standing I sigh as I pop my back. Sitting for most of the day can really take a toll on your body sometimes, especially when you’re used to going on missions regularly. Seeing I have about an hour left before I can head home I go grab some coffee before jumping back into filing case notes. I get halfway to the break room when my cell phone starts ringing and furrowing my brows I see it’s Hari’s mom calling me, which is a bit odd given she knows what time I’m off.

        “Hello?” I answer, pressing it up to my ear.

        “Oh (L/n)-san, thank goodness you answered!! It’s Kaoru, he’s having trouble controlling his quirk again!” Her voice is panicked and my eyes widen.

        Ever since his quirk came in he’s struggled to control it, and hearing Hari yelling trying to calm him down in the background I say,”I’ll be over soon!” I hang up and hurry to my boss’s office, knocking on the chief’s door. He luckily isn’t busy as I almost barge in and I’m guessing he can read my expression as he immediately looks worried. “Sir, am I okay to leave early? I hate to ask, b-but my son is in trouble!”

        Luckily he understands, this isn’t the first time Kaoru has had this problem since we moved here, but he replies,”Yes, you’re fine to leave now. But (L/n)... You might want to find a way to help him control it, before something happens.” The way he says it I look away and slowly nod, knowing better than to reply in case I say something I shouldn’t. Shutting the door I rush to my desk and grab my bag, logging off my computer, then running out of the station going as fast as I can to Hari’s house.

        When I get there it seems like things are under control again but I clearly see the damage; not only is Kaoru burned on his fingertips and hands but a wide circle of dead grass sit in their yard. Hari and her mom are rubbing his back when I arrive, all three on the front steps of their house and looking up when I'm jogging up to them. My son looks terrified, hiding his hands and having trouble meeting my eyes. 

        “... I’m sorry, mom,” he mumbles, the crack in his voice leaving a tightness in my chest. I quickly lean down and pull him into a hug, rubbing his back.

        “It’s okay, Kao, go get your stuff okay?” I tell him pulling back and getting him to look at me. He nods and turns, going inside to grab his things while I step back and run my fingers through my (hair color) locks. “Tsuachi-san, I’m sorry.”

        “Don’t worry, (L/n)-san,” Hari’s mom smiles sympathetically. “We’ll get the yard taken care of, I’m more concerned with Kaoru but he wouldn’t let me bandage him up.” I sigh, glancing at the ring again, knowing there’s nothing I can do but still trying to think of a way to fix that. “But (L/n)-san, I’m worried for when he’s at school,” she continues, and turning back to her I’m confused for a second. “Has he gotten any sort of training or something to help him learn to control it? I hear many kids struggle so have you thought about getting him maybe help from his dad’s side of the family.”

        “Of course, I’ve talked to his uncle about it, but he’s just in high school… He said he’d help him when he has the time, but lately he hasn’t…” I trail off, crossing my arms and looking down as I start to get lost in thought. Maybe I’ll go visit Shouto again or text him, see if he has any availability or if a friend of his is willing to help. His friend Midoriya offered too when I was talking to their group, maybe I can go talk to him too. I blink out of my thoughts and look up to see Kaoru is saying goodbye before facing me. He’s still having trouble looking at me, and I ruffle his hair as we start walking away, saying goodbye.

[X][X][X]

        The walk home is silent, people passing us and the streets not as busy since many people seem to still be at work. I glance at Kaoru a few times, not knowing what to say while he trails a step or two behind me still looking upset about earlier but trying to hide it. I rub my neck in thought, looking up at the sky and humming.

        “So how was school?” I ask, looking at him again.

        “It was okay,” he mumbles. I nod, and again the awkward quiet settles.

        “Did you like your lunch?”

        “Yeah.”

        “Kaoru, you know… Hari and her mom weren’t mad at you,” I say, deciding talking about earlier can’t be avoided. I catch the way his brows furrow and continue,”They’re just worried.”

        “I can’t help it mom,” he says back, making me go quiet as he finally starts to say more than a couple of words. He looks at his hands as he continues,”I-I keep trying, and trying, b-but it’s so hard, I don’t want to hurt anybody, a-and I’m scared…!” His voice cracks again and I can tell he’s trying to stop himself from crying. My brows furrow and I pet his hair, giving a soft smile.

        “Kaoru-” I go quiet when my phone buzzes and I pull it out, checking it while I keep walking. I hear my son stop in his tracks a few feet behind me.

        “A-are you really going to ask Shouto-oji to help me?” he asks. I halt too and look back at him, nodding.

        “Yep, in fact he just text me back,” I let him know, looking at my phone again. Luckily it looks like Shouto may be available this weekend so I start texting him back, telling him thanks and letting him know what times I’m open to meet and ask where he’d like us to go to do the training. “Uncle Shouto said he can probably do some training with you this weekend, what do you… think…” 

        My voice trails when I look back at Kaoru; he’s standing next to an alley between two shops and staring up at something. While that is already a bit alarming the expression on his face is what I notice the most. His blue eyes are wide and while he does look stiff he doesn’t look all that scared, more like he’s looking at something that’s left him frozen in place and curious. My brows furrow, my motherly instincts kicking in immediately as I start to come back over, asking,”Kaoru…?” But he blinks and looks at me suddenly, replying,”O-Oh really? I miss Sh-Shouto-oji, his ice is fun to slide on…”

        I don’t say anything for a moment and move in front of him, peering into the dark alley, hands ready to use my quirk if needed, and looking around. Notably I see the black marks almost like a fire had recently burned here, but other than that nothing. I’m confused, my eyes scanning over everything for any movement but again, nothing. That doesn’t stop me from taking Kaoru’s hand and saying,”Yeah… I’m sure he misses you too, honey…” I pull him away from the alley, wanting to hurry home.

        I don’t know what it was, but even if I couldn’t see anything in that alley… I could feel us being watched. I just hope my gut feeling earlier about moving back isn’t a bad sign.

(AN: Part 2 is already halfway done (Dabi comes in too!) so if this does well I’ll post that too. I have a looooot of ideas for this, and WARNING it is going to follow canon like.... Only a little. Like mentions to activities going on in the universe will happen but given this is about Dabi/Touya, (F/n), and Kaoru it’s obviously gonna stray from canon lol 

Anyways I hope you guys enjoy! Let me know if you wanna see more, maybe?)

[skvaderarts]

Hiraeth Chapter 13: Forward

Masterlist can be found Here!

Chapter Thirteen: Forward

Notes: Sorry this one was a little late! I had company over, and we were having such a good time that I forgot to upload the chapter! My bad!

(-~-)

Time seemed to flow a little differently in the quiet chaos of the hospital’s intensive care wing. Drifting in and out of consciousness lent him a skewed sense of what was actually going on around him and, as such, he didn’t truly understand the gravity of the situation that he found himself in. And in a way, there was a part of him that was eternally grateful for that, because he could only scarcely imagine the horrors that must be occurring within his vicinity if the sounds were anything to go by.

All around him, the sounds of machinery humming and people shouting and yelling over one another filled the stagnant air, most not taking the news of the demise of their loved ones lightly. And there was no definite reason that anyone could give them as to why it had happened in the first place. It was simply one of those freak things that no one could really adequately prepare themselves for, like an earthquake or other natural disaster. Only this was different because should there have been an adequate police presence present at the time or some other form of armed response, they might still be alive. You couldn’t fight a tidal wave, but you could shoot an idiot with a knife who was trying to stab your mother to death. And while you couldn’t do anything to nature for sweeping your house away in a mudslide, you could sit in a courtroom and face the evil individuals who killed your family.

V felt fortunate at that moment that he had no one to lose. As much as he cared for Morgan, especially in the moments when he wasn’t sure they were both going to make it, they weren’t family in the way these other people were. He’d liken them to friends, maybe even good friends now. But he could only imagine what kind of damage losing your mother or father or even your grandparents to something like this could do to you. And as V drifted in the semiconscious state that he found himself in, he couldn’t help but feel the agony of the space around him. It was as if the hospital had a presence of its own and it was weeping in sorrow from what it had lost. What had been lost within its sterile walls despite the best attempts of those who sought to do the best they could by those who had been sent there to be cared for by them.

More time than he could adequately acknowledge in his hazy state passed, and soon he found himself awake. It was a strange sort of hyperawareness that he rarely felt, and it was somewhat akin to those rare mornings when you woke up and sat up in your bed only to realize that you were wide awake somehow. In truth, V had never been a morning person. It wasn’t so much that he was a night owl as it was the fact that his mind tended to wander into the late hours of the night, keeping him awake when all he craved was the sweet embrace of a deep slumber. But at that moment, he was very much awake. And he was very much aware of where he was.

Judging by the conversations that he had heard bits and pieces of, he was somewhat surprised that his leg wasn’t in some form of traction. In truth, he couldn’t actually feel anything that might be wrong with it. In fact, he hadn’t been able to feel it at all when he’d first realized that they were talking about him. But in that same vein, he was just glad that he still had it. Talk of hypothermia claiming a part of him like that was a phobia he hadn’t realized he’d had until that day, and it was one that he wasn’t keen on helping come to fruition. But at the moment he had more pressing matters to attend to.

There was a doctor there to see him, and they looked utterly and totally perplexed.

“Hello, young man. I apologize, but your medical chart doesn’t reflect your name, and I don’t think you’ve been treated here before due to a lack of other forms of identification or other records in our system.” He pulled up a chair, plopping down with a much friendlier look on his face than he’d previously possessed. He seemed somewhat intrigued instead of confused. “I’m David. I was just coming to check on you, and here you are, awake and coherent! Wonderful. You’re doing spectacular, all things considered. It’s actually slightly unbelievable.”

V tilted his head to the side slightly, admittedly taken aback slightly by the statement. What did he mean by that? Did they expect him to be doing poorly? In truth, his memory of what had happened recently was somewhat spotty due to his prolonged period of inactivity and semiconsciousness, but even still, that was enough to cause him a great deal of concern. The most he could remember was bits and pieces of him somehow reaching the road and then collapsing. What exactly had happened to him after that was a mystery, as far as he was concerned, so this was all news to him.

“I get the impression that you didn’t expect me to recover from…” He paused for a moment, trying his best to recall what had actually happened that could have injured him. Unfortunately, he came up empty. “Actually… what did happen to me? My memory is a little bit hazy at the moment. Did I hit my head or something?”

“No, but your vitals were all wrong when you arrived.” The doctor took a moment to leaf through the papers on his clipboard, shaking his head as though he himself didn’t believe what he was reading. “Your internal body temperature was at 90 degrees, and you were suffering from Acute Tachyarrhythmia. You’d also somehow managed to walk what we estimate was around 5 miles in soaking wet clothing during a blizzard with a major impairment to your right leg. At first, we thought your femur was broken, but all of our follow-up X-rays have come up inconclusive. I can’t say anything as to the rigidity of your bones, or your ability to actually walk at the moment, but the fact that you are sitting here breathing and seemingly just fine is nothing short of a miracle.”

If he’d been able to look at himself, V probably would have found the absolutely gobsmacked look on his face amusing. Despite the fact that he didn’t understand the implications of what most of those terms meant, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t somewhat shocked to hear that he had apparently nearly died and yet didn’t feel any different. “That condition you mentioned… acute -what was it- what does that mean?”

David looked at him for a moment as though he were attempting to remember what he was talking about before looking upwards again, seemingly jolted back to reality. “Oh! Acute Tachyarrhythmia? It’s a form of arrhythmia or heart palpitation. Essentially, your heart rate was far above what it should have been. Well into the 300s, and nearly at the 400 mark at its peak, which is irregular, to say the least! We had to administer anti-adrenaline, but much to our surprise, the normal dose didn’t seem to do much of anything. Four injections later, we were finally able to sedate you, but the entire situation was deeply strange, to say the least. That might be why you don’t remember much.”

Looking over at V, he paused for a moment to see how he was reacting to the news before continuing. Giving him a stress aneurysm after he’d managed to survive such extraordinary circumstances was relatively low on his list of wants, and the last thing he wanted to do was overwhelm him. “Are you alright? I can stop now, if you’d like. I understand that this is probably a bit much for you to take in so soon after waking up. You have been out of it for quite some time now.”

The white-haired teen immediately went on alert at the statement, his pupils dilating in slight apprehension and shock. What did he mean by that? “Please tell me that I haven’t been in a coma for several weeks or something like that. Even if you have to lie.”

David smiled sympathetically, shaking his head. “Oh, no! It’s only been about four days, young man. Nothing that serious. And that was mostly due to the sedatives we had to give you. I suspect that if your chart is anything to go by, that will be just fine.” He took another quick glance at the chart, his brow furrowing slightly as he looked over something. “You may have some arrhythmia issues in the future, but nothing that should impair or limit you. You’d need a follow-up appointment to look into that, however. I don’t have the authority to diagnose you with anything. I’m just a general medicine doctor, and that is my opinion on the matter. Nothing more, though I do hope you do well. You’ve been through an awful lot for someone so young. What a terrible shame.”

V resisted the urge to nod in agreement. Yes. He had been through entirely too much in his young life. As far as he was concerned, that was a fact. Still, he was surprised to find that he couldn’t make himself look at the situation with an entirely negative outlook. He’d never been through something so physically dangerous, but this was far from the first time he’d ever been in peril, and he was sure it would not be the last. That was just a fact of life. Or at least it was a fact of the life he lived, but what reason was there to be splitting hairs about it at this point?

“Yes. Yes, it is.” He lingered on the words that the doctor had spoken for a moment, turning to look in the direction of the window. He needed a moment to himself to think and take in the gravity of the situation that he found himself in. It was admittedly more than he could properly process all at once, but at least he knew for the most part that he was alright and that everything would be okay. But in all honesty, he didn’t know where he was going to go from there. Back to the town to pack, maybe. But after that, what would he do? “I realize that I still haven’t given you my name. You can call me V.”

The doctor looked at him as though he was going to question him further, but decided to drop the matter for the time being. After all, they weren’t going to be billing any of the survivors, and he was probably slightly dazed and overwhelmed at the moment. There was no point in pushing him to reveal information that he didn’t feel like discussing. And for all the doctor knew, that could very well be his name. People tended to give their children unusual names nowadays.

“Well, I’ll give you a little while to collect your thoughts and think of anything you’d like to ask. From what I can tell, your free to go, but there isn’t a rush.” David stood up and straightened out his coat, looking towards the door to check and see if he was needed. “Your one of the last people from Lympha that’s still here, so we’re not short on rooms or anything.”

A thought occurred to V as the doctor spoke those words, a low undertone of dread rising up from the pits of his gut. He knew the answer to his question long before he actually asked it, but he was hoping to be pleasantly surprised for once. Sadly, he received the usual brand of disappointment and anguish that he was so used to. It seemed that wherever he went, disaster followed not long after. “The rest of the townspeople… did any of them make it?’ 

Gods how he hoped his gut feeling could be wrong, but he knew.

David shook his head slightly, looking down at the floor for a moment. He fell silent, grief overtaking him for a moment before he responded. “Sadly not many of them did. So far of the two-hundred and thirty-seven residents that are currently known to reside in the town, we’ve only managed to locate about six of you so far. Thankfully the other three-fourths of the town were gone for the season at the time, so the damage was somewhat contained. I shudder to imagine what would have happened if everyone had been home for the season…”

V closed his eyes for a moment in contemplation, still facing the window. The warm sun wasn’t something he normally relished in. In fact, he was much more at home in colder climates. But in this particular instance, he couldn’t help but feel lucky to be able to feel anything at all. He didn’t want to know how many of those who had perished had been children or elderly people. None of them had deserved their fate. While everyone in the town hadn’t always been the kindest to him as a general rule, they had never been overtly unkind or hostile, and none of them had done something to merit the horrible end that they had been granted. At least not his knowledge, but he could scarcely imagine what they could have done to incur such insurmountable wrath, especially from such a seemingly random opponent.

“… What about the people who attacked us. Has anything been said about them?”

A sigh of something akin to contentment escaped David’s lips. V could tell that he was tired, and probably new to the job. Most of the doctors that he’d encountered in his life were a bit more adept at hiding how they felt. If he was willing to bet, he’d be willing to wager that David might be a resident or an intern of some sort. But his heart was in the right place, and he appreciated the honesty, especially in a situation like this. It didn’t matter to V in the slightest. Everyone had to start somewhere.

“Thankfully I can give you some good news there. Or, at least something a little bit better. It’s more strangeness, sadly.” The doctor leaned against the doorway, straightening his posture as best as he could. “That’s where they got the other survivors from. They were held up in the woods somewhere. The people who attacked your town had taken them into the woods to do some kind of ritual. Anyway, there was a huge shootout, and most of them were killed. Their accomplices in the next town over were arrested, and part of the town actually got buried under a snowdrift during the incident. Karma, maybe? Anyway, there hasn’t been given much of a reason yet, just something about how their “lord wished this of them” and “the prophecy has to be fulfilled”. They all sound out of their minds to me, but the one upside to this situation is that the people involved will be looked up for a long time, and they will never be able to hurt anyone else again. That’s the best outcome you can hope for in a situation like this if I’m being honest. It’s shades of grey, not black and white. And sometimes you have to find the brightest light in the darkest room, so to speak.”

Just as the doctor seemed to be about to continue, but didn’t get the chance. Just before he could speak, his attention was drawn away by a small head of messy hair poking through the doorway. Neither of them got the opportunity to speak before Morgan bolted into the room, running over in a teary-eyed mess to see if V was okay. David put his arm in front of her in an effort to stop her, but V waived him away, unwilling to allow her worries to be dismissed. He could tell she had been through an awful lot during his absences. Her eyes said it all.

“No no, let her through. Please. It’s fine. I know her.” V moved to sit on the edge of the bed, not entirely sure what his intention for doing so really was. If he was willing to guess, he’d say that he just wanted to show her that he was alright, but in truth, he didn’t really know whether or not he was or what he was so eager to come to her aid. There was just something about the look of absolute heartbreak on her pretty little face that struck a nerve with him. He never wanted to see her like that again.

“Oh thank- your okay! You haven’t been awake in like four days, V! I was worried sick about you!” Morgan looked as though she wanted to strangle him, but there was no anger in her face. Only relief, sorrow, and exhaustion. He got the impression that she probably hadn’t left the hospital, slept, or ate much in the time since he’d arrived. It was understandable, but he hoped it wasn’t the case. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You looked absolutely terrible when they brought you in. I thought you were gonna die! Had me worried sick there for a while”

Realizing that they needed time alone, the doctor waived politely to them both before quietly exiting the room and closing the door behind himself. Both V and Morgan watched him as he went, relieved to see one another again. He noted that as he tried to put weight on his right leg, he felt a persistent burning sensation and he had a bit of difficulty putting weight on it, but aside from that, he was sure that he could and would manage just fine on his own. Maybe that was the best place for him right now. Morgan would return to life with her family, and he would go elsewhere. Maybe just pack his bags and go. It was worth a shot.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing alright as well. I presume you’re going back to stay with your mother?” V asked, not entirely sure what to say or do at that point. It was a lot to take in.

Morgan nodded. “Yea, she’s waiting for me in the lobby. She came up to see you and thank you for helping me, but you were off getting an x-ray or something, so she couldn’t. Said to thank you for her. She’s too upset about my grandparents to really say much right now.” Morgan looked distant for a moment, more than likely sharing her mother’s sorrow. He knew that it had to be a lot for her. “What are you going to do now? Supposedly all of us are going to be getting some kind of huge payout for having to go through all of this nightmarish crap. I know your not just going to move back into that town and pretend that none of this happened. Any plans for the future, or is it too early in the morning for that.”

V smirked. He really did like this young girl. She had a certain tenacity to her that he didn’t see very often in the people he interacted with. And he was willing to admit that he thought he understood that sentiment. But he lacked the nerve, and that was something that she had in spades. 

“I think I’m going to pack my things, put them in storage, and catch the first train that goes as far as possible from here. Once I’m on board, I’ll ride it until I see someplace that catches my eye or until I reach the end of the line.” He shrugged slightly, unsure of what else to say. “If that happens, I’ll board a different train and keep going. And when I’m ready, I’ll contact you. I don’t know how long that will be, but I promise that I will.”

Morgan a hand on her hip, shaking her head. “Call me crazy, but I’m willing to bet you’ve done this before. Just a hunch.”

V nodded, smirking again. She was smarter than she looked, and that was truly saying something because she didn’t look the slightest bit stupid. “If you need me, contact me. Please. But I have to leave here. I’m sorry.”

She held up her hand to hush him. “I understand, V. Just knowing you’re alive is enough. Don’t’ you dare tell me your sorry. I don’t’ want you to be. I want you to leave here and live your life and be happy. I’m going to try and do the same. We both deserve that.”

He looked back at the window again, feeling the morning sun on his face. That was something that he was willing to agree with her on. After all, he’d always wanted to travel. And now that he had nothing to tie him down, why waste the opportunity. If there was one thing that the entire experience he’d just gone through had taught him, it was that he never knew when he could wake up and it could be his last day. He didn’t want to squander that. Not while he still had breath in his body.

(-~-)

I hope you all enjoyed this ark! It’s basically over now, so I’m excited to hear what you thought of it! See you all next week, and stay safe out there! To the comment section! Away!

[dawnwave16]

Not what I expected

Please note there are mentions of suicide in this chapter,  please don’t read it if this makes you uncomfortable!

8; 9(here); 10

Chapter 9

Having said that she turned on her heel and walked a little way away from the group and dialled the bakery.

Sabine was the one who answered the phone and she quickly confirmed that the four adults with them were there to help. Upon hearing this Alix relaxed and the rest of the teens followed suit. After heading onto the Liberty and settled in for what promised to be a long conversation. The teens told the BAU team as much as they could about Lila arriving at the school and everything that followed. How she had targeted Marinette almost immediately, how she had been making suggestions about what they class could do that would supposedly help them “make it big” but from what their group could see, it was slowly making them destroy whatever chance they had of achieving their dreams. They spoke about how they had taken a good look at their own actions when they had realised what was going on and realised what they had done to Mari was not right at all and so they had each gone to her and apologised.

Marc, Nathaniel and Alix all explained how they kept all of Mari's art supplies in their lockers in the art room as they were worried that someone might get the bright idea to destroy them. The list just kept going and throughout it all, they made sure to keep an eye out for Akuma's as they knew they would be prime Akuma bait with everything being spoken about and none of them wanted to deal with that. Once the teens were done it was the BAU teams turn. They admitted that they couldn't reveal everything yet but did fill the teens in on what they could. It was nightfall by the time they were done talking so the team agreed that it was time for them to head back to the hotel. The teens decided they would have a sleepover instead as Luka had the boat to himself that night. So, after saying their goodbye's the four of them headed back to the hotel.

By the time they reached the Hotel they had worked up quite an appetite, so they called the rest team and asked what they wanted to eat, placed the order for room service, then headed up. When they got to the room they were surprised by how quiet Garcia was being however before they could ask Garcia spoke.

“Two things, firstly I will give you the details of what I found after we've eaten as if I start now, none of you will want to eat. Like at all. We've had bad cases but what I've found makes those cases seem so normal it's scary. Also, Jack is still in the room and I don't want to give him the same nightmares I know I'm going to be having. Anyway, the second point is more of a question for Emily.”

“What's the question, Garcia?” Prentiss asked as her friend stopped to take a breath. 

“Do you still have your contacts in Interpol?”

The team gasped at the question. While Jack wouldn't understand the implications of it the team did, what they had originally thought to be a case of getting rid of a bully was so much bigger.

“I'll call and ask if any of them are in Paris at the moment and get them to meet us here in an hour if you'd like?” Prentiss answered.

“Please do.”

The next hour passed relatively quickly, they had eaten and tried to keep themselves distracted and it worked for the most part. As soon as Jack was in bed and the Interpol agent, Clyde Easter, had arrived Garcia knew it was time to start.

“If I could turn your attention to your tablets you will see the files of three other girls have been sent to them. I know this seems random, however after going through our little Mari's old phone and looking at how 'Lila' had basically convinced all of Mari's friends to join her in what amounts to cyberbullying, I knew I had to look deeper. My first point of call was looking into Lila Rossi specifically only to find that she didn't exist prior to joining Collège Françoise Dupont, like at all. If we look at the school records the day she first joined Mari's class she was actually enrolled as 'Nekane Layla Kelly' originally from Basque. About the only thing Nekane hasn't lied about is that her mother is an Italian diplomat. Anyway, she was born in the Italian Embassy in Basque and attended school there until she was 10 when her mother was transferred back to Italy as Nekane's grandmother was dying. They spent two years there before heading to Spain for two years and finally came here to France. She didn't change her name until she came to France as she felt that it would stand out too much here. Now I know it's normal for diplomats to move but except for the first one there wasn't a reason given for the change. 

Anyway, I looked at her old classmates and found something weird. If you look at the files for Aisha Robinson; Tamiko Norris and Amara Mogami you will see that not only are they similar in looks to Marinette but they also have multicultural parents with one being Europian and the other being Asian. This may seem minor at a glance but all three girls were in the same class as Nekane and two of them committed suicide shortly before Nekane moved. Aisha attempted to commit suicide too however her babysitter got concerned when she didn't respond to the call to come down to eat and went to check on her then called for emergency services who were able to save her. In each of the girl's cases, they were fairly popular at school until Nekane joined their class were upon their classmates turned on them and started bullying them. Aisha doesn't talk much anymore but she has had to be changed to homeschooled as she can't handle being around people her age anymore. In her case her parents supported her however in Tamiko and Amara's case, the girl's parents believed what everyone was saying about their daughters.”

The team was silent as they listened to Garcia, JJ had tears running down her face at the thought of what could have happened if Marinette's friends hadn't rallied around to support her. Emily had closed her eyes, as a diplomat's child herself, she knew that frequent moves happened, but that they always had a reason. Clyde had also closed his eyes, he'd dealt with a lot of nasty things while working for Interpol but this was something he never thought he would see. He looked at the age that Nekane Kelly would have been at the time of each of the other girl's suicides and realised that she would have been about 10 for the first 12 for the second and 14 for the third. He looked up as he realised this and repeated his thought out loud so that the rest of the team could hear it too. Reid made the connection first.

“She's targeting Marinette as her fourth victim. Unlike our other unsubs, she get's her satisfaction from playing with her victims' lives and destroying them without having to kill them herself. I think the deaths are inconsequential for her, she just likes seeing her target suffer. Marinette is suffering but she isn't letting Nekane get her way. She's speaking out more and hasn't let herself be isolated, she changed her phone number but rather than let her old number be reassigned she kept her old phone to help get evidence of what's going on. Do we know if the other three girls were targeted at school the same way Marinette has been or was their's only cyberbullying?”

“According to Aisha's parents it was at school as well,” Garcia replied. “I only looked into the cyber side thanks to Marinette's phone. I saw several messages telling her she should just kill herself and spare the world, among other things. They all started when Nekane rejoined the class.”

“According to the group of Mari's friends we spoke to earlier, the bullying from the class started at around the same time. They mentioned that one of the more aggressive girls still calls herself Mari's 'bestie' but is the first to put her down if 'Lila' even looks like she's even mildly upset. The girl seems to think that Mari is jealous of 'Lila' being interested in the same boy as Mari, yet according to her friends Mari and the boy, Adrian, have agreed to just be friends until the boy completes at least another year of councilling. They didn't say what he needs that for but it does show that those that truly know Mari know the truth. They also mentioned that the two might not date at all and that it depends on how they both feel at that time.” Morgan commented before he and the other three who had met with Marinette's friend group told the team what they had found out. Hotch followed Morgan's example by telling the team about what happened in the bakery.

“Before the three of them left I got the mother's name and said I'd like to speak to her, Nora said she'd stay up and talk to her parents when they got home. Hopefully, I'll hear from them soon as I have a feeling there's more to the babysitting story then we know,” Hotch concluded.

It was then that his phone rang, apparently they would be hearing from Mrs Césaire much sooner then they had thought.

@northernbluetongue; @wargraymon0709; @moonlightstar64; @winter-gardenflower; @bee-wrecker; @starsshineandgivehope

[alegacyofmikalsons]

The Act of Living Chp.1: Back in the Crescent City

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I’ve been lurking on my main Tumblr @adrianadmirer in the Originals and Legacies tags for several months now since I got into these shows (I finally got Netflix and was able to watch) and I’ve been working on this story for a while as well. I’ve had a version of this first chapter on Wattpad for months and now it’s finally at a place where I’m happy with it enough to share on here as well. Please feel free to leave comments, I want to know what you think as the story progresses and if there are things I can improve on. This is my first time writing for anything TVD/Originals/Legacies and I'm relatively new to these shows so, any feedback will be much appreciated!

Rating: PG-13

Series summary: Klaus and Elijah were supposed to die, but fate in the form of new friends Serafina Hewitt and her sister Stevie intervened. A year later Stevie is dead and Sera returns to New Orleans to see her friends and investigate her suspicions about what happened. When it's confirmed that a powerful hunter group is responsible, she realizes a much bigger threat is coming, one that threatens all of New Orleans. As they race to stop it, she gets more than she bargained for, finding the truth about who she is and a growing attachment towards a certain Mikalson.  Most importantly, they all get answers to the biggest riddle of all: what the act of living really means.

Visiting New Orleans should be a good thing, the place I'm from and still consider home despite having to leave it at sixteen. It's a lively place with the warmest people where even death is celebrated with a party. But currently, it reminds me of everything I've lost. Walking through the familiar streets, I find myself consumed with guilt and sorrow from the latest person to be taken from me. 

My sister. Not by blood since our parents chose to adopt me five years before Stevie was born. But, that little detail didn't matter. It still feels lonely, a part of me gone forever.

The moment I found out, only several hours ago replays in my mind for the hundredth time.

"You need to come down here," Rebekah Mikalson exclaimed.

Stevie and I met her and the rest of her family a few years ago when I helped my sister move back there and we slowly became closer friends through the handful of trips I've made since including the last one barely a year ago where a vision of mine and my blood kept them together.

The hoarseness in her tone and the faint sniffling grabbed my attention, a cold shiver running down my spine. 

This was no ordinary phone call among long-distance friends. 

"Why? Is something wrong?"

There was a moment of silence as she struggled to compose herself. "It's Stevie. She's...she's..."

The mention of my sister sent my heart thumping hard against my chest. No, I thought. It couldn't be. As painful silence ticked by, I became irritated from impatience as a sinking, awful sensation of dread swirled inside my gut. 

"Rebekah, just say it." 

Even though I had a feeling of what was coming, I had to hear it out loud. 

"She's dead Sera!"

There they were. I had braced for them yet, they still took the air out of my lungs. 

"What?" 

"She was killed last night outside of a bar just outside the Quarter. I just found out myself."

The truth finally hit fully, shattering the numbed shock. 

Gasping, my knees gave out and I sank to the floor, letting a mix between a scream and a wail. My worst fears had come true. I thought that she'd be safe here, away from me and all the dangers and problems I carried just for merely existing. This was New Orleans, home of everything that goes bump in the night or is out of the realm of normal humanity. But, it didn't matter. The people close to me always left, one way or another. 

As the sobs subsided, I shook my head, staring out at the drizzle that constituted a typical Oregon morning. I already had a good idea of who might be responsible. The same people who took the rest of my tiny, adopted family from me. All because I had a stubborn ability to survive what others couldn't. But, I needed details to be sure. To see if they left anything behind. If my suspicions were correct, they definitely would. 

Putting the phone on speaker, I set it down on the floor next to me. "What happened? Do you know?"

"Not really," she replied. "Her body was discovered a few hours ago, just as the sun was coming up. There's some bruising from a struggle of some kind and then a f-fatal cut across her throat. They're saying it was probably a random incident but..."

"You don't think so." 

My heart lept into my throat. The description matched those of other victims I had seen both in person and in newspaper descriptions. 

"No. You know as well as I do she...she would've been able to defend herself it was. No one will believe me though, not even my siblings. They all think I'm being unrealistic, and I can't blame them."

As she continued to rant about how her brothers never took her seriously I leaned my head against the kitchen cabinet and drowned her out. I already knew they didn't. Rebekah was known for thinking with her heart and not her head. But, she was just as smart and calculating as her more well-known siblings. Something they often forgot until it came out abruptly. 

"The only thing that looks weird is this...symbol." The statement brought my attention back, picking it up with my sensitive hearing. "On the side of her neck. Maybe you know what it is?"

My breath caught. A symbol was the exact thing I was searching for. 

"Describe it to me."

"It's some circle with a...lion in the middle. And some language that I can't make out. Greek I think. Why?"

It matched the symbol of the group I had in mind perfectly. It couldn't be a coincidence. Their explicit threats against her--verbal and written, the way she was killed. They had to be responsible. And if they were in New Orleans, I doubted they would be leaving anytime soon. It was too big of a target to pass up--the biggest place they've appeared so far. If the results were anything like they've committed here, hundreds would be dead. Supernatural and regular human alike. 

"Because, it tells me exactly who killed her," I murmured.

After a moment of deliberation, I sprang to life again and rushed over to where my laptop was sitting. Suddenly, New Orleans was the place I wanted, no needed to be. I missed my old home and seeing the dysfunctional family I called friends in person. But, it was more than that. I felt a sense of obligation to protect the city. And I couldn't quite do that from a phone call or video chat. 

"Listen, I'll be on the earliest flight out I can manage," I told her, my fingers dancing on the keys. Finding one that worked, though it was a bit pricey, I became resolved in my decision to leave. Just like last time, everything screamed that this was worth it."

I heard her gasp. "You're coming here? I thought you were busy"

"I am." It was an exhaled response. "But, suddenly I have new priorities. You guys have been wanting me to visit for a while anyway. Make sure no one touches a thing on her body or tries to move it until I've had a look. I don't care what you or your siblings have to do."

"Does that mean you think I'm right?"

"Yeah, Rebekah, I do. I'll be there by late afternoon, hopefully, earlier than that." 

After an hour's drive to Portland, a cross country flight and renting an expensive taxi into the city, I've finally made it with still plenty of the day left.  Pulling out my phone, I look at the address Rebekah sent and sigh.

At least I have one thing to distract me. I briefly close my eyes and memories swirl in from the people on the street, too many for my mind to focus on one for long. Some are happy, others not so much. All contain the private thoughts and feelings I have no business experiencing. But, I can't control it, much like the other abilities I inherited from faceless people. The only thing I know about what I am comes from my blood. Closer to black than red. Able to sustain me yet kill everything else.

Demon. 

I don't know what type or how saturated it is or even what side it’s from. There are too many in the books I've read to narrow it down to one and I’ve never met my birth parents. I only know what powers it gives me and that it comes with a lot of destruction, both internal and external.

I also know that my visions--both of the past and the future--aren't normal for any kind of demon. This and other strange powers I’ve discovered mean the blood of something else flows in my veins as well. But, it's been nearly thirty years and I've yet to figure out what.

Blinking open, I resume my steps and shake my head, putting away everything I've seen. I can't forget it, or any information really but, I have ways to pretend and set them aside.

Soon, the bar I'm looking for, Rousseau's, is in front of me and I pause. I know seeing Stevie's body is going to be hard but, if I don't manage my emotions, it won't be pretty. This usually helps.

After a minute, I step around the brick building, finding Rebekah with her platinum blonde hair crouched over a covered white sheet. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I close the gap between us until she looks up. 

"You're here," she whispers, springing up to engulf me in a hug. "Thank god."

She squeezes me so tight that I struggle to catch my breath, coughing out a short reply. "I've missed you too."

Letting me go, she stands there silently, with a slightly apologetic look before her gaze drifts to the concealed figure next to us. My sister. The crying has stopped for now, but the tears are still fresh. The redness around her eyes and frown point to how she's really feeling which is anything but fine. 

I look around and quickly realize that we're alone. I expected to see at least one of her siblings with her.

"Where are...?" I ask.

"It's just me. Klaus left soon after I got here. He did chase everyone off, just like you asked."

I can't help the snicker that comes up. "I don't need to know the details about how that went."

"Actually, there was no actual blood spilled this time, just the threat of it," she comments.

I don't particularly care or judge him for his impulsive acts of violence since I've succumbed to it countless times. But, it's not the healthiest form of anger management or dealing with emotions so, I'm glad about this small piece of info. 

"So he is taking my advice then," I tell her.

She nods after a minute. "Sometimes. I doubt he could ever stop completely." Then, her smile falters, and she clears her throat. "Anyway, Elijah's been home figuring out arrangements. It looks like we’ll be able to have the funeral tonight. That is unless you want to take her back to Mirebrook. He wanted to make sure you had the final say."

I haven't even thought about that. Most of my family's ancestors are entombed here, including our grandparents. My parents are the only exception, instead of being buried in the little cemetery in Mirebrook. But, I've been planning on moving them down here too eventually. Even from the start, they promised me our move wasn't going to be permanent. New Orleans is where we truly belong. That's why Stevie decided to return when she was old enough. So, while I appreciate having the choice, it only takes a minute standing here to decide.

"No, this is fine. She's a Hewitt...not just in name like me but by blood. She belongs here."

She nods once more as we continue to stand there silently for a moment. We both know what I came here for. Answers. I need to be sure but at the same time, neither of us wants to see her like this. 

Eventually, I gesture to my sister on the ground, mustering up enough emotional strength. "Can I?"

She blankly looks at me before blinking with a start. "Oh...um, of course. Sorry, I'm a bit out of it right now."

I know exactly how she feels. She bends down once more and delicately grabs ahold of the white tarp before meeting my gaze. At my nod, she pulls it back to reveal Stevie's lifeless stare. It's a punch to the gut seeing her skin already a pale gray from decay and a gasp catches in my throat. 

"Stevie..." Reaching down, I touch her ever so slightly, the coldness another shock to the system. 

I bite down on my lip hard as I feel the energy within me stir and a sudden breeze tickles the back is my neck from it. Sometimes it gets agitated when my emotions run high. I hesitate and wait for everything inside to calm. 

Breathe deeply. Quiet. I'll be fine. 

The mantra is one I've memorized from when my mother's soft voice repeated it as a little kid to stop my destructive blowups. After a few minutes, I'm comfortable enough to continue. I have to know if they're responsible.  

I turn to Rebekah. "Where did you...see the symbol?"

Swallowing, she mumbles, "Right side of her neck. By her ear."

Brushing her hair back I quickly find it. A circular symbol in black ink stands out against her fair complexion, the lion's face and handwriting staring up at me. Everything seems to stop as a chill of fear and extreme anguish runs up my spine. 

"No." 

"Sera?" Rebekah asks, noticing my reaction.

I ignore her as angry tears slip down my cheeks. 

Nemean found her. In the one place I didn't want them to touch. And I know them well enough to realize they aren't leaving anytime soon. The city is a perfect location for the attacks that terrorized Mirebrook every couple of years.

"I'm sorry Stevie. This is all my fault."

They went out of their way to hunt her, just like our parents and my friends. Because they chose to raise and love me. Suddenly, the power arouses inside once more and the wind picks up around us. I'm too volatile, if I stick around, no amount of controlled breathing will matter. I grab the tarp from Rebekah and quickly covered my sister once more. 

"Sera, what's wrong?"

Standing, I simply shake my head, unable to get any words out as I fold my arms around my heaving chest. I spin around and hurry out of the alleyway. Stopping a few feet away, I close my eyes and take more deep breaths until I steady myself.

"Sera, what the hell?" Rebekah exclaims and I open my eyes to see her frowning at me.

Seeing her concerned expression, I sigh. "Sorry I just needed to get out of there."

"Does that mean you know what that symbol is?" Her brows furrow in confusion.

"You don't?" My pitch rises a couple octaves. 

Surely they would've heard of such a notorious group of hunters by now. 

But, she shakes her head adamantly. "No, I've never seen it before in my life. I did take a picture of it though. Why?"

"Because,” I reply. “It belongs to her killers. The Nemean brotherhood." 

Her eyebrows lift off her forehead. "So this was on purpose then."

"Yes, by hunters called the Nemean Brotherhood. I don't think they’re done either. In fact, I imagine they've just gotten started."

"You think something else will happen," she murmurs catching on immediately. "What exactly? More hunts?"

I hesitate, folding my arms tightly. Knowing that they could be here, maybe even watching me I can't help feeling a bit paranoid.

"Yes and no," I finally tell her. "They don't just hunt Rebekah. They massacre.” 

This only makes her more confused. “What does that even mean?” 

Sighing, I finally confess what I’ve been suspecting since the phone call this morning. “Everyone in the quarter is in danger. Maybe even the entire city."

....

[pineaberry]

Fictober 2019: #17

Star Wars: The Old Republic.

Inspired by all the Quinn love on my dash, here it is:

The Transponder Station Pt. 4: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION

Pt. 1 Found Here: [X]

Pt. 2 Found Here: [X]

Pt. 3 Found Here: [X]

________________________

With some difficulty Malavai managed to focus on the present. The vibroblade handle had skittered across the floor meaning the blade was still inside her. Her belt had tightened around the wound keeping it closed, she must have loosened it. His mind scanned the crew. He would need help, who could he trust to remain calm regardless of whatever dark turn this took?

Broonmark was out of the question. The creature was all fur with claws were too clumsy for something so precise, plus he wouldn’t put it past the savage to try and eat his fallen leader or something equally primitive. Pierce had seen blood before, he might be the least squeamish. Though the bruiser about as dexterous and intelligent as the Talz, he would no doubt recognize the blade and put two and two together. No, that was a confrontation he didn’t want to have while Tremas bled out on the table. Jaesa could help, if she could avoid distress long enough to not to trigger her powers. He wasn’t sure he wanted that kind of observation or that it wouldn’t cause her to do something rash.

Selfish, a voice echoed in his thoughts. She’s dying and all you can think of is keeping up the charade.

Shame filled him but still, coward that he was, he hid behind the fact that he had to save Lord Tremas. If nothing more, he needed to undo the damage he had caused. He turned to the crew exuding the very image of military detachment.

“Everyone out! Vette, you’re with me. Remove her armor while I prep a kolto drip,” he ordered. The Twi’lek was the only one who would allow him to keep breathing should she decipher the truth. Worst case scenario, she was the one easiest to subdue should things go south in the medical bay.

He worked quickly using his medical scanner to find the internal damage. The blade was deeply wedged, but it had thankfully missed her vital organs. He clenched his jaw as the kolto drip mitigated some of the blood loss. The blade would have to be extracted, thankfully the oscillation module on the blade’s handle had been severed quickly by her lightsaber rendering the vibroknife a relatively less deadly knife. He had Vette clean the burn-mark on her face with a kolto infused bandage before going through the painstaking process of removing the blade. Blood streaked metal soon emerged from the tear on her side. 

Unbidden memories of rainy days at Dromund Kaas filtered past his emotional shield as he saw the blade emerge from Tremas’ form. He’d been on his way to procure supplies, a simple enough venture back when there had been only three passengers on board, when out of the blue she had declared that they were all of them going shopping. No doubt their exploits on Nar Shadaa had provided a windfall of credits for her. His Lord had given what had been, in his opinion, an obscene stipend to her Twi’lek slave. He remembered noting how generous she was with her money in contrast to other Siths who had a tendency to hoard their riches. He had attempted to remain calm and professional throughout the trip though he did crack a smile when she saw Tremas’ eye the purple kyber crystals excitedly. His own military stipend allowed for little more than the purchase of an extra uniform, and perhaps an upgrade module for his blaster. His recent promotion and its boost in salary had been stalled going on two cycles, no doubt held up by someone with an ax to grind. And so he had whiled the hours away following his two shipmates and carrying their purchases.

Tremas had insisted on taking them to an expensive bistro high atop a skyscraper overlooking the Imperial Citadel. He'd learned of her taste for green fire sauce, and she of his fondness for Trammistan chocolates and Kopi tea. It was the first time he had felt completely free of the ever present stress after Drukenwell. 

At the end of the day, after setting a course for Tattooine, he'd found a black glossy storage case in his quarters. Upon closer inspection he came to see“M. Quinn” was etched on the side in silver script. After inspecting it for explosives or similarly unwelcome surprises, he opened it to find several sets of clothes and a pair of heavy boots. They were not the standard military issue, but luxury items reinforced with armor, weapon, and even cooling modules. Not only that but there was also a new high end blaster, field medical kit, even a new datapad and to top it all off, the vibroknife he had been eyeing longingly while she’d been bartering for purple crystals. 

She smiled when he mentioned it, of course, as though it were all just a game. He hadn’t wished to be a burden, and he had every intention of supporting himself.

“I’ll not have my Captain traversing the galaxy in rags and tatters.”

It made sense of course, to give him the best tools for the job. He would have believed it was only that, save for the knife. He had no use for it on the field.

“The vibroknife is unnecessary, my Lord. I will not require it to serve you.”

“But you wanted it, Quinn. That’s reason enough. It’s called a gift, welcome aboard.”

He wanted it. That was the only motivation. He wanted it, so she provided it with no strings attached, no ulterior motive. It was such a pure, simple thing, and yet it struck a chord deep inside him that his throat constricted. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had spared a thought about what he wanted.

“I am… overwhelmed, my Lord...”

The memory was cut short as he heard someone sniffling. Vette had begun to cry. Her blue fingertips smoothed dark locks back from ghostly white skin. The stench of blood and kolto was everywhere.

“Please hang on…” she sniffled and it took all of Quinn’s willpower not to break down and cling to Tremas' form like a frightened child. It was his doing. This was what he had strived for since he’d left Balmorra. Yet all he wanted to do was die of shame and guilt.

He sprayed a layer of kolto to seal the wound on her side stemming the blood flow and starting the healing process, before preparing the tank. His hands shook as he prepared her for immersion. He’d done this to her. Every fragile breath, every weakened heartbeat was evidence of his betrayal.

My Lord... my love. Please don’t die.

Idiot. He was an idiot. She could have killed him any number of ways, quick and efficient. Instead she had vented her rage on the droids, allowing him to wear her down to this state. Even then she hadn’t attacked. She could have executed him at once and she didn’t attack.

Even lunging at her should have been easy to block but she… she allowed him near. She had allowed him to wound her to the point of death. Meanwhile, here the traitor stood with only a few minor scrapes and bruises to show for the exchange. He’d mutilated her and in turn, she’d given him his life back. 

Nausea turned his stomach as he felt the slickness of her blood on his hands. Her skin was ice cold and wrong. She who always held his hands and thawed them now lay on a medical bed drained of warmth. Vette was trying to hold back tears as she stood by the Kolto tank.

“What happened out there?” she asked quietly, looking at the Sith Lord floating inside.

He felt a lump in his throat and the prepared words didn’t come. Instead he turned away and attempted to wash his hands wishing his sins could be so easily erased. Vette looked down and saw the ornate blade coated in her friend’s blood. She may have been a lot of things, but she wasn’t stupid. Her gaze fell on the man currently looking as though he were about to retch. Her blood stained his uniform, a fitting image for the things he had done.

“Baras… Baras happened,” the words were like acid on his tongue. Not entirely a lie, no. But his part in the entire sordid affair made the next few words feel like hot coals against his heart, “my Lord was caught by surprise.”

 "You're her tactician! You led her into a trap  and then you just left her? She was bleeding out when she came in! You are supposed to be her support! What kind of field medic just leaves?!"

"My lord ordered me back to the ship before I could analyze her wounds," he said and his words were tainted with the realization that she had probably thought he would take advantage of her wounded state. His heart felt as though it were being crushed under the weight of his guilt. "Even after my failure... my Lord protected me from Baras. This is my fault..."

Until her last breath. Her last words had been spent clearing him of any fault, securing his position with her crew. He was unworthy of her. Whether it was his defeated posture, or the obvious remorse in his voice, his reply was enough to quell any more questions from Vette.

“Yeah, that sounds like her,” she said with a sad little smile, “you know, when I first met her, I thought she looked exactly like what a Sith is supposed to look like. Tall, proud, like she’d never had anyone tell her what to do. I resented her, I hated her... even when she went out of her way to be kind. 

"Then his Tubbiness sent us into a creepy tomb to recover a relic or something. I’d tried to go there myself before and it had been nearly impossible, but with her… it was like taking a stroll on the beach. She kept talking to me even joking but I kept treating her like she was just another weird Sith. After she got the thingie, I hoped to give her the slip. I lagged behind, but got jumped by a pair of crazy Sithlings before I could get very far. I was done for, I knew it. But then she was suddenly there in front of me. Tremas took a lightning blast to the chest to protect me. Shook the pair off like it was nothing, and told me to not to wander off because it was too dangerous. 

“She acted like it had been normal, but I saw the damage at the next medical station. I saw what it’d done to her. She'd taken that blast, and didn't even punish me. When I asked her why she’d saved me said: ‘Because you were afraid.’ Can you imagine it? A Sith stepping in front of a blast of lightning just because some slave girl is scared. I told her she was crazy but after that, I don't think I ever felt safer than when she's around. There’s just something about her. She puts herself in danger constantly for us, I think, we take it for granted sometimes. Everyone sees an undefeated Sith Lord, the Emperor's Wrath, I think... sometimes... we see her like that too and we forget she's a person.”

“I would be a fool to forget,” he said barely above a whisper. He monitored her vitals and avoided Vette's eyes. Hopefully, she would interpret his guilt as a result of his inability to support her properly. “There is little else we can do. You should go inform the others.”

“What about you?” Vette asked obviously trying to determined if he was injured.

“I'm fine, I'll stay here and monitor her progress.”

 Vette eyed him for a moment before reluctantly leaving Malavai with his thoughts. The crew was waiting just beyond the door, and far too late did she realize her clothes were stained with blood. They bombarded her with questions most of which she wasn't sure herself.

For all of its miraculous properties the kolto was working far too slowly for his tastes. She couldn't die, not now... not after having spared him... not after everything they'd done together... not by his hand... His fingers were curled into tight fists to keep himself from shaking.

How little you must think of me. Exactly how stupid did you think I was?

She had known all along and still accepted him. She had known and still had hoped that he would ultimately make the right choice. He had failed her.

It all became too much and he ran to retch in the refresher.

________________________

Read More About Tremas HERE!

Original Fictober Promp List HERE!

[pastryseungs]

On Children (2018)

Creator: Wú Xiao-le

Dir. Chen Wei-ling

⚠️ Spoilers !! ⚠️

very long post ahead~

i recently watched this Taiwanese show on Netflix and it gives me Black Mirror vibes as well! i relate to this show so much that some have made me ugly cry lmao. its so weird and entertaining that some leave you silent and zoning out for a few minutes after each episode ends :<

Ep. 1 Mother’s Remote

dude this episode was honestly so sad and infuriatingggg. believe it or not though, some parents just actually want the best for their children and their future, but some actually take it too far.. like this one.

Pei Wei’s parents are going through a divorce where Wei (Tzu-Chuan Liu) ends up living with his mother (Yu-Xuan Wang). after forging the signatures on his report card and manipulating his grades, Wei’s mother restarts his day with a remote to give him the chance to “fix” his mistakes. he is eventually pulled out from school to attend cram school.. ten times to pay for what he did. eventually, when it slightly goes back to normal, he meets a girl named Lan (Hsin-Yu) and the two immediately became friends because of their love for art.. which also immediately blossomed into puppy-love after a month.

Wei’s mother eventually catches the two at the library and treats them out to lunch, before banning Wei from seeing the girl again. he fights back, which sends him back to the day before he was about to meet Lan for the first time. but Lan doesn’t recognize him at all, which led him to countless suicide attempts which were all reversed by his mom’s remote. the line, “How many times do I have to do this?” hurts me so much, he just wanted to be free and happy and his mother just can’t give him that all because of bad grades.. damn..

the scene cuts and changes to a few years later with Wei as an adult.. at first i thought he actually was still with Lan but it turns out it was another woman :< that night, Wei is asked by his mother to go out for dinner and he meets Riley, the daughter of his mother’s friend. the two talk for awhile, Riley revealing that she was actually in a relationship that her family knows but doesn’t accept and Wei revealing that he’s also in a relationship as well.

Wei then buys an airplane ticket for his mother, and went to his mother’s house to retrieve the remote. with his mother forgetting her passport at home, her taxi goes back to her house and sees Wei across the street, holding the remote.

this scene was actually so sad for me, because the last part was Wei going back in time when he met Lan. i actually felt like Lan’s the person that gave Wei a sense of freedom when he felt suffocated/drowned by his mother’s strict attitude towards him. you can actually see the longing in his eyes when he went back there.. gosh i was so sad when this episode ended. this one’s actually one of my favorite episodes !! the open ending led me to believe that Wei and Lan actually ended up together and lived happily ever after~ 😤💗

Ep. 2 Child of the Cat

after failed attempts at getting good grades, Guo-yan (Hsiu-Fu Liu) meets a girl named Lo Chih-Wei (Yu-Ping Wang) after seeing her having a nervous breakdown and harassing another student, she then tells him about some sort of parallel universe and that it offers them something to kill in exchange for intelligence. Guo-yan then develops this delusion after killing their house cats with cat food mixed with rat poison.. he then starts succeeding in his academics, even announcing his perfect score in his mock exam during his grandfather’s funeral.

the line, “Why must you impose all you want on me?” was so sad.. his parents were putting him under so much pressure, even extending his tutoring hours just to make him study harder and try to pass the exams. but at that point, it was too late, his tutor informed his mother that he needed to see a psychiatrist since he might be going through something, but his mother was indenial, thinking that his son was alright and that he was probably just the typical lazy teenager, which was not the case. he was already asking for help through his actions !! even going as far as making his mother find a non-existent noisy cat to take care of during his exams because he couldn’t concentrate.

this episode kind of frustrates me because Guo-yan’s mother listens too much to their relatives/in-laws advices and criticisms that she doesn’t listen or even bat an eye when her son is literally going through something. the ending was somewhat happy though, with Guo-yan learning how to do carpentry and building their own shop maybe?

Ep. 3 The Last Day of Molly

to be honest, this one made me ugly cry :< you’ll never really know until its too late, huh? Molly’s mom (Ivy Yin) probably won’t know that she was the reason behind Molly’s demise if it wasn’t for that machine/gadget.

Molly (Gingle Wang) had a lot to offer in their world with her writing talent. sadly, in order to save face, she was too obedient about the fact that her mother wanted to enroll her to Medical school and make her get a degree in another country. she was the highest-ranking student in their school, which made her mother have high expectations for her. she disapproved of everything she did, saying that a job wouldn’t be suitable for her and that she has to work hard in order to work a certain job. it just baffles me how much some parents think its their choice to choose their child’s career path .-.

the saddest part was when Molly’s mother found out that she had caused this mess. the guilt literally made her feel like she should be behind bars for the rest of her life, and that Molly would want that too. her demise was probably the best revenge she could think of, since she resented her mother for making her study and focus on things that she thinks will make her rich in the future.

i felt so sad for Molly’s sister, Kelly, because she was already expected to follow in her sister’s footsteps, even going so far as extending her tutoring hours while she was still dealing with grief. personally, i wouldn’t be able to do so until i already feel better and moved on a little. its hard to deal with grief especially when you’re so used to seeing that person all the time, which is why i somehow understand their pain.

honestly though, i can’t help but ugly cry during the part when Molly says, “Mom, I love you and I’m sorry.” if it wasn’t for Molly’s death, her mother wouldn’t realize that she was taking her children and their family for granted.. damn.

Gingle Wang is such a great actor !! she also kinda looks like Minnie from G-Idle too! :>

Ep. 4 Peacock

always be careful what you wish for. tbh, this episode was really weird and scary for me. Qiao-Yi (Yu-Xuan Wang) was ready to risk it all just to get everything she had always dreamed of, which included her sight, her talent for painting, seeing colors, and her appearance. she was literally turning into a peacock just to get help her family stay afloat and help her enter a good college and stay in school to be rewarded as their donor.

her school, Victor, was really weird as well. students were not allowed to ask questions during class, which led to students literally isolating another student in class because she was curious.. no wonder some are having a hard time in their class. the school was full of self-centered, snobby brats that only cared if you’re rich or have something luxurious to offer, it was honestly so weird for me. i’d hate to experience that kind of environment, i probably wouldn’t last three days.

if i was in her situation, i’d probably want to fit in with the others as well if it meant being less lonely and having someone to talk to even if everything you talk about is too shallow for your liking. it was just so sad that they were willing to trade anything just for a good life and financial stability, which led to Qiao-Yi’s mom (Chiung-Hsuan Hsieh) as the peacock in exchange for Qiao-Yi’s and her brother in their parents’ (or maybe just her mother?) dream schools.

Ep. 5 ADHD is Necessary

it was just so wrong for the Ruo-wa’s mother (Chuan Chen Yeh) to make her daughter fake a mental illness to help them continue living a lavish lifestyle, which eventually led to Ruo-wa’s (Frances Wu) demise.

Ruo-wa’s mother wanted nothing but for Ruo-wa to achieve and maintain a high-rank in terms of intelligence. but, you see, Ruo-wa isn’t exactly the best in terms of academics, the girl was so focused in school that she doesn’t even know what she’s really great at! her mother was so desperate for both of them- mostly her, to stay afloat that she would make her daughter detailed and organized notes to help her study, to help them keep the lavish lifestyle, because she couldn’t accept the reality that they had to live at the Pigeon Cage because of Ruo-wa’s intelligece. she also did this for her late son, which caused her to be awarded for having a high-ranking son, which also led to his demise. all this time, she thought that her son had died from a car crash, but he was actually destroyed for having a low rank and wanting to be a carpenter.

also, i can’t help but point out that they look like characters from the movie Divergent (2014). they literally look like they belong in Abnegation/Candor/Erudite lmao. and people who are being sent to the Pigeon Cage were Amity/Factionless/Divergent, since they were all special and talented in their own ways and they knew how to farm; sadly, they don’t belong in the real world. i was also so happy when i saw Wei, Lan, Guo-yan, Kelly, and Qiao-Yi !! like, at least they were saved from their parents’ grasps and they’re now free to do whatever they desire.

i was so sad when the police went there and trashed everything, killing the children that weren’t even bothering anybody just because they were low-ranking and weren’t doing their part in the community. in the end, it was Ruo-wa’s mother that had the last laugh and it was just so infuriating for me.. i wanted her to have the karma !! not Ruo-wa’s demise !! 😤

the place in order and everyone was at peace and getting along, why did she have to ruin it all for them? and why did Ruo-wa had to be destroyed ??? i feel like i could compare this to Divergent people ?? since they’re different and they’re being destroyed for not belonging somewhere.. like a Divergent person.

wellll that ends my post !! also, if this is what eventually happens to technology, then imma head out ✌️😗

[cori-writes-fanfic]

Don’t Go Gently

Summary:  Sora wasn't dead, she kept saying; he was just missing.  (But she wasn't fooling anyone, not even herself.) Or: Kairi grapples with the aftermath of Sora’s sacrifice.

Rating: K+

Note: This fic explores some aspects of grief/death, so keep that in mind if those might trigger you.  (Also, let me know if there’s anything I might need to tag or extra warnings I should throw up here.)

(Cross-posted on FF.net)

________________________________________________________________

          Kairi stood outside Sora’s house and wondered why, why she’d insisted on coming here.

           (She could remember the conversation clearly, though.  ��I should be the one to tell her.”

           Riku had given her a look that suggested he’d thought otherwise.  “You don’t have to.”

           “I was closest.  I was there.”  It’s my fault.  “I should tell her.”

           And Riku had still looked like he’d wanted to argue, but he pulled away with a sigh, looking forlorn and tired.  He looked like that a lot lately.)

           But now she was here, standing in front of the door, wringing her hands and biting her lip, unable to bring herself to even knock.  You could just go in, some voice whispered.  You and Riku spent most of your childhood running in and out of here without asking.  I’m sure Hikari wouldn’t mind now.

           Kairi lifted her hand, took a deep breath, and knocked once.

           Bustling sounded behind the door.  Something sounded like it toppled.

           I can’t do this.

           But then the door was swinging open, Hikari releasing a breathless, “Sor—” before she actually seemed to notice Kairi.  She stared a few moments, blinking blankly, and Kairi tensed, expecting her eyes to darken in disappointment, or to be sent away in frustrated anger.

           (If she looked close enough, did she see the guilt hidden in Kairi’s face?)

           But then Hikari’s shoulders relaxed and her mouth softened in a smile.  “Kairi,” she said, and if she didn’t sound as relieved as she had when she’d been about to say Sora’s name, her voice was no less warm. She opened her arms for a hug, which Kairi accepted stiffly.  Hikari pulled away, holding her arms gently, and her expression drifted slightly towards concern.  “Come inside.”

           It was an order more than an invitation, and so Kairi obeyed, stepping into the hallway and allowing herself to be guided to the living.

           Hikari settled her on the couch, bustling towards the kitchen.  Kairi’s eyes drifted over the familiar pictures lining the mantle and desks, the fishbone carvings Sora’s father had made when he was still alive, the surfboard Sora had begged for sitting unused in a corner.  The couch was the same as it always was, a dull green with an old knitted blanket thrown over the top, and Kairi found herself picking at one of the threads.

           Clanging sounded in the kitchen.  “Sorry it’s a mess, dear!” Hikari shouted.

           (It’s not, Kairi, thought, because she still remembered Sora’s propensity for tracking in sand from the beach and dropping shells and sea glass and shark’s teeth onto the tables to sort them, his tendency to just drop his beach ware and towels in the hallway and Hikari’s shouts of, “Sora!  Pick up after yourself!”)

           Hikari poked her head into the room, asking, “Is tea alright, dear?”

           “I—yes, that’s fine.”

           Hikari smiled, but it seemed tense, and she disappeared back into the kitchen.

           In the relative silence, Kairi had the time to consider what she was going to say.  She didn’t really remember much about what happened, or coming back, despite what she’d told Riku—she knew Riku had found her, crying and hardly moving, on the Paopu Tree, and had taken her home early.  (She vaguely remembered begging him to stay the night with her, because she couldn’t be alone, she couldn’t, and Riku had looked guilty and like he was about to say yes until his Gummiphone had buzzed, and he’d sighed and pulled away.)  She knew Riku hadn’t told anyone anything, but the island had been abuzz about her return.

           Three days, her mind supplied.  It felt like an eternity.

           Hikari appeared, carefully carrying two mugs.  “I haven’t had guests in a while,” she said sheepishly, setting one in front of Kairi with a quiet clack.

           “Not even Claire?” She took a careful sip.

           “No, no, she’s been busy. Besides, if I’m going to see people, I usually go to their house anymore.”  This house is too empty, remained unspoken, but the words hung in the room like ghosts.

           Kairi cleared her throat and set her mug down.  “I’m here about Sora.”

           Was she imagining it when Hikari’s breath caught?  “I wondered as much,” the older woman murmured, brushing aside a lock of brown hair that had escaped her bun.  “Riku told me that you’d gone missing.”

           (Missing felt like a Keyblade striking her back, she hadn’t been missing, she’d been—)

           “That’s right. And—and he told you Sora went to find me, right?”

           “Yes.”  Hikari looked into her mug, stirring the tea absently. “It’s alright, dear.”

           Kairi stiffened. Her fingers tightened around the mug. (So what if it was too hot?  If it weren’t for her, Sora wouldn’t—)  “What do you mean?”

           Hikari smiled gently, but she still didn’t lift her eyes.  “You came back a few days ago.  Sora didn’t.  I know what that means.”

           “He’s just missing,” Kairi said in a rush, slamming the mug hard enough that some tea spilt onto the coffee table.  “Whatever he did to get me back—it did something to him.  But he’s still out there.  I know it.”

           (Some part of her whispered, Is he missing like you were?)

           “Kairi.”

           She might’ve argued further, but Hikari’s tone gave her pause.

           The older woman sighed, her shoulders falling, and suddenly Kairi regretted doing this, maybe she should’ve just let Riku handle it, he’d been handling everything pretty well—

           (But she knew that wasn’t true.  She’d seen the heavy slump to his shoulders, the shadows under his eyes and how he’d pour tireless over books on magic, how he’d almost start crying and then blink away the tears and continue reading.  She wondered when he’d leave her behind again.)

           Hikari continued, “I’m tired of being given false hope.”  She removed her spoon and tapped it against her mug.  “I don’t blame you.  I know this isn’t your fault—any of you.  But it’s hard to watch your child run off into danger again and again, knowing they might not come back.  At some point you have to come to grips with the reality that you might lose him.”

           Kairi forced herself to inhale slowly, hold it, and exhale just as carefully.  She could feel her eyes burning, and she didn’t want to cry.

           “He might be alright—but I’ve seen the way you and Riku have been after you came back.”  She finally tilted her head upwards to give her a gentle look.  “You wouldn’t leave your house for an entire day.”

           Kairi stood abruptly. “Sora’s fine,” she said, and if it was a little clipped, well, she wasn’t going to worry about it now. “He’s just missing.  I wanted to tell you that myself, since—since it happened because he rescued me.  Riku’s going to go and find him.  Soon, probably.  That’s all.”

           Hikari sighed and shook her head, but her eyes were still gentle.

           Kairi offered a stiff bow.  “Thank you for the tea.”  She left, feeling like the ghosts in the house were watching her all the way out the door.

                                                            ~*~

             -Kairi had forgotten about school until her father had presented her with a uniform.  “First day,” he’d said, smiling sheepishly.  

           (Kairi had taken the uniform and tried it on, and it was weird how normal it had seemed, after everything.  She might’ve stared at her reflection blankly until the day had ended if Naminé hadn’t burst in, panicking about her schedule and comparing it to Kairi’s and worrying about the fact that it was different, and Kairi forced herself to relax and worked to calm her newfound sister down.)

           When she’d entered the classroom, she’d stiffened, and blurted without thinking, “That’s Sora’s desk.”

           The boy who was sitting there (he had the same brown hair, but it was flat, and his face was too wide, the clothes all wrong) gave her a puzzled look.  “No?  It says right on the seating chart that this is mine.”

           Someone tugged on Kairi’s sleeve, and Kairi looked down to see Selphie.  “New school year, remember?”

           Kairi nodded, face heating.  She checked the seating chart herself, trying not to feel like a dozen pairs of eyes were staring at her, making the hair on the back of her neck lift.  She walked stiffly between the rows and desks and slid into her own, refusing to lift her head and look at anyone.

           (How could she expect anyone to plan for someone who’d been gone for years?  Maybe Sora had been missing to the islands for longer than a few weeks.)

           The room grew abruptly quiet, and Kairi looked up to see Riku hovering at the front of the classroom. She frowned in confusion, until she remembered: Riku had been gone, too.  Riku rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, then lowered it to tug awkwardly at his school uniform.  Whispers gradually started, and Kairi caught snippets of, “Riku?” and “Where’s he been?” Riku seemed to sink into himself, seeming so much more out of place than he did when he was wielding a Keyblade.

           Kairi’s frown deepened and she started to stand.  Halfway up she hesitated.  Does he want defending? she wondered.  And how am I supposed to do it?  He’s not quite the same person he was two years ago.  Neither am I.

           (She still remembered that night she’d come back, when he’d left her to face her demons on her own.)

           She sat back down.

           The teacher entered a few moments later, and seemed almost as surprised to see Riku as the students did.  She recovered much quickly, however, muttering something about, “Administration never tells us anything.”  She cleared her throat.  “Riku, I believe there’s an empty desk behind Tidus.”

           He nodded and moved to the back of the class, seeming to shrink away from the desks.

           “Now, as for the rest of you.”  Their teacher planted her hands on her desk, giving them stern looks.  “I don’t want to hear that any of you have been harassing each other.  That includes Riku and Kairi.”

           Her skin prickled as eyes turned her way.

           “I know they’ve been gone a while, but what happened is their own business leave them be.”  With a final sweep around the room, she lifted the seating chart for roll call.

           Kairi released a heavy breath.  She turned, looking at Riku.

           He caught her eye and flashed an embarrassed, almost-sad smile.

           She allowed herself to smile back.

           Homeroom passed quickly, and Kairi had just finished packing up her supplies, scrambling for her schedule to try and figure out what class she had next, when her teacher said, “Kairi.  A moment?”

           (She didn’t want to give her a moment, because she knew what her teacher was going to talk about, and Sora was just missing, didn’t anyone understand that?)

           She took a deep breath and smiled. “Yes?”

           The corners of her teacher’s mouth were downturned slightly.  “I may not know all the details, but I understand that you and Riku must still be struggling a great deal.  If you ever need anyone to talk to—”

           “That’s alright,” Kairi said, a little too quickly, throwing her backpack haphazardly over her shoulder.

           Her teacher didn’t look entirely convinced.  “If you’re sure.  Just know that we have counselors for a reason.  Use them.”

           Kairi knew she was just trying to be nice (she just didn’t understand), so she gave a nod and forced herself to smile, and she squeezed past without further incident.

           In small schools, as with small towns, news doesn’t take long to travel.  It was especially true when grade levels often mixed in classes to help fill them, and soon all Kairi could hear was people whispering Riku or Kairi with the occasional question of Sora? and then someone would shush them quickly and glance her way.

           She’d tried to catch Riku at lunch, but found him already surrounded by students.  “Is it true?” one was asking.  “Did you really travel the world in a raft?”

           “No?  Who even told you—”

           “Sora said you guys had this weird sword-key-thing.”

           “Keyblade.”

           “Where is Sora?”

           “Dude.”  Someone clocked him.

           Riku’s eyes had gone wide, and his breath had hitched.

           (He hadn’t noticed Kairi yet, and if maybe Kairi had considered trying to get through before, to talk to him, the mention of Sora had left her frozen, because if she saved Riku from the question then they’d all know, they’d see her and realize it was her fault that Sora wasn’t here, that Sora was gone—

           So she stayed silent.)

           “He’s—something happened. He can’t be here right now.”

           There was some discontented mumbling, but they seemed to understand by the stubborn set of Riku’s jaw that he wasn’t going to budge, and conversation moved on to other things.

           Kairi turned and left to find Naminé, wondering why her mouth tasted like bile and her chest felt heavy.

                                                            ~*~

             -The island had never felt small until she’d come back.  Now, the buildings felt claustrophobic, the people too-familiar and yet not familiar enough, each day blurring into each other with the same normalness that somehow just didn’t feel right after Xeh—after everything, and she desperately wanted to leave for a little while because she just couldn’t breathe.

           She’d made the mistake of texting this to Lea, because the next thing she knew he’d arrived with a Gummi ship at her school.

           “Axel, what are you doing?” she asked, exasperated, ignoring the gaping mouths and wide eyes surrounding them.

           “Well, hello to you, too,” Lea drawled, surveying the area.  “Man, no wonder you guys wanted to leave.  This place is tiny.”  He fixed his eyes on her.  “So? We going?”

           Kairi hesitated, and maybe there was a part of her that still remembered the last time Lea had come to find her on Destiny Islands, but she needed to get away for a while, so she walked into the Gummi ship with Lea in tow.  “No Isa?  Or Roxas and Xion?”

           “They’ll meet us there. I didn’t figure they’d be too anxious to come back after—well.”

           Kairi ignored the comment, and was infinitely grateful when Lea continued, “Anyway, how’s Naminé?”

           Finally, finally something Kairi could talk about without guilt, and when she smiled it felt right.  “She’s great! She was really nervous about school at first, but she settled in quickly.  She’s joined art club.”

           “Really?  Never would’ve pegged her for the type.”

           Kairi shoved him, and he laughed.  “You know,” Kairi said, “if you’d given me a little warning, I might’ve been able to invite her, too.”

           He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.  “Ah. Whoops.”  Abruptly his hand returned to the wheel, steering them around a Heartless that had gotten to close for comfort.

           Speaking of. She pulled out her Gummiphone and sent a quick text.  With Axel. Going to Twilight Town for a bit. Need anything?

           A few moments later her phone dinged.  I could use some more colored pencils, if you have the time.  Mine keep disappearing.  Have fun!

           Kairi smiled and tucked the phone back in her pocket.

           After a while the indigo expanse of space faded into the golden orange glow of Twilight Town’s sunset. Lea steered them to an open area where three figures stood waiting.  He waved in greeting.

           Isa gave him a long-suffering sigh.  “Must you always be so impulsive?”

           Kairi asked, “You didn’t tell them, either?”

           “He did,” Xion said, looking like she was fighting back a grin, “but it was mostly, ‘Taking the Gummi ship.  Be back in a second.’”

           “See?  I told you.”

           Isa said, “That hardly counts,” but his smile offset his words.

           Kairi snuck a glance at Roxas.  The boy was smiling, but there was a tension around his eyes, an edge to his grin that somehow felt familiar.

           (She wondered if, should she look hard enough, she’d see anything of Sora.  She wondered if maybe visiting had been a bad idea, after all.)

           They wandered around Twilight Town, dipping in and out of shops.  Roxas—who’d been quiet at first, keeping a careful distance between himself and Kairi—brightened a little when they ran into Hayner, Pence, and Olette and was encouraged to show off some of his skateboarding tricks.  Hayner quickly turned it into a competition.

           “Show him how it’s done, Roxas!”

           “Hey, I thought you guys were on my side!”

           They stopped by the bistro, and conversation eased, Lea gesturing wildly about some crazy story and Xion asking about Naminé, Roxas interjecting occasionally to ask questions of his own.  (His face was relaxed, but there were still dark shadows under his eyes, something hiding there that Kairi didn’t want to look too closely at.)  At the mention of Naminé, Kairi asked about an art supplies store, and Xion was happy to lead her to one.

           At some point Kairi realized that she was flashing real smiles instead of fake ones, and that the suffocating feeling that had followed her the last few weeks was slowly slipping away.

           (She also knew the day was ending, and she’d need to get back home soon—it was already night on Destiny Islands—and a part of her dug her feet in to stall, because she couldn’t go back, not yet, couldn’t stand the pitying looks and normal monotony and the space between her and Riku where Sora had once stood.)

           Lea extended a stick of ice cream in front of her nose, startling her out of her thoughts.  “Ice cream?”

           “The icing on the cake,” he said with a grin.

           Roxas and Xion snorted, and Kairi had the feeling there was some sort of inside joke she was missing. She accepted the ice cream, and Lea led the way up to the clock tower.

           They settled into their spots, Lea making a swipe at Isa’s ice cream that missed, Roxas and Xion laughing at his attempts.  Kairi sat uncertainly on Xion’s other side, trying not to think about how far down the ground was.  She turned her attention to the sunset, only half-listening to the conversation beside her. Her ice cream dripped onto her knees.

           (She wondered if maybe they’d be willing to have her another day—it wouldn’t hurt that much to miss school, Sora and Riku had missed so much, after all, and they were going to be missing more, she could take some time—)

           Someone nudged her. “Kairi?”

           Kairi blinked and looked at Xion.

           “Are you okay? Your ice cream’s melting?”

           “Yeah—yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.”  She took a bite of her ice cream and absently dabbed at one of the sticky spots on her knees.  “Sora would’ve loved this.”

           Out of the corner of her eye she saw Roxas stiffen.

           She wondered if she’d said something wrong, but Xion smiled easily.  “Yeah, I guess he would’ve.”

           “Maybe he could come up here, too, after he comes back.”  She thought of bringing him and Riku up here, of bantering and hanging out like they used to (like the family she was visiting was doing now) and smiled a little.

           “He’s not coming back.”

           The words were quiet, with a little edge to them, and came from Xion’s right.  Kairi blinked at Roxas, leaning forward to get a better look at him.  “What do you mean?  Of course he is.  Riku’s going to find him.”

           “With the Power of Waking?”  Roxas’s fingers tightened around his ice cream stick.

           The world had gone strangely quiet.  A part of Kairi felt like she shouldn’t continue, but the rest felt like she could clear up the misconception.  “No, or he’ll just go missing, too.  He’s going to find a different way.”

           “Missing?”

           She didn’t miss the edge to Roxas’s words, the hunch to his shoulders, but the words made an old, frustrated anger bubble up inside her.  “Yes.  Sora’s just missing, and when he comes home—”

           “He’s dead, Kairi!”  Roxas turned on her, face contorted in grief and anger and a hopelessness that looked almost too familiar.

           (And looking at his face, at the furious hardening of his eyes and the snarl twisting his lips and the frustrated tears running down his face, Kairi wondered how anyone had ever thought he looked like Sora.)

           “Roxas,” Xion said, lifting a hand.

           “Hey now,” Lea added, almost simultaneously.

           But Roxas, propelled by anger or grief or some other emotion, barreled onward.  “It’s like there’s the hole in my chest.  I used to feel him, but he’s just not there anymore. He’s gone.”

           Kairi reeled, floundering to grasp the anger from before, hoping to ground herself on some sort of solid conviction.  “That’s—that just means you miss him, it’s what everyone’s feeling—”

           “It’s not the same.”  He shook his head, but his fingers found Xion’s and squeezed, his free hand touching Lea’s on his shoulder.  “I’m his Nobody.  I’ve always felt him, even when I didn’t know it was him, but I don’t feel it anymore. And it’s not fair, but what are we supposed to do?  Without the Power of Waking—he’s gone, Kairi.”

           Kairi wasn’t sure how to answer that because she hadn’t found an answer herself, and so she looked helplessly at Lea.

           Lea frowned, shifting a little uncomfortably.  “I think maybe I should take you home, Kairi.”

           She nodded, uncertain about what else to do, and left Roxas there with Xion and Isa.

           The walk back to the Gummi ship was quiet.  Lea kept paced with her, his attention occasionally flicking her way.  “Are you alright?” he asked finally.

           “Fine,” she said, a realized she might’ve been a bit more curt than intended.  She softened her voice and added, “I’m sorry.”

           “Nah, it’s not your fault.  We’ve all been dealing with it in different ways.”  Lea shrugged, his head tilted skyward.  “Roxas—well, he doesn’t handle grief well.  He’s always needed to take it out on something.  It’s nothing really to do with you.”  He paused, looking like he was about to say something, then sighed instead.

           They didn’t speak again until they arrived back at Destiny Islands.  Lea called, “Hey, Kairi, listen.”

           She stopped as she was about to get off the Gummi ship, already feeling the crushing weight on the island folding around her, tugging to pull her down, down, down into a life that felt almost too normal and people who had no idea about what they’d done or seen.

           “Just be careful, alright?  I know what it’s like to get so wrapped up in losing someone that you end up hurting yourself.  And others.” He met her eyes.  “I don’t want the same to happen to you, alright?”

           Kairi swallowed and curled her fists slowly.  She nodded, suddenly unable to speak, and stepped onto the sand of the island.

           Roxas texted her an apology that night, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond.

                                                             ~*~

             -“Do you think Sora’s dead?”

           Naminé started at her question.  She lowered her drawing pad slowly.  “Why do you ask?”

           “Roxas does.” Kairi gripped her Gummi phone, her attention flicking towards the window.  From here she could see the beach, the waves brushing languidly across the golden sand.  “I think Axel and Xion do, too, but they won’t say anything about it.”

           Naminé sighed and absently brushed some pencil shavings off the page.  “I think,” she said carefully, “that if Roxas believes so, there’s a good chance it’s true.  He was his Nobody.”

           “I asked what you thought.”

           Naminé sighed again. “Does it matter what I think? You’re convinced of one thing already, whether I tell you or not.”

           “He’s not dead,” Kairi said firmly.

           “See?”

           Kairi slumped. “I’m sorry.  I really do want to know your answer.  I’ve just—I have to know what everyone else thinks.”

           Naminé gave her a tired look.  Her eyes turned sad, and she clutched her sketchbook a little tighter.  “Yes,” she murmured.  “I think so.”

           The rest of the afternoon passed in silence, the only sound the quiet scratch of Naminé’s pencil.

                                                             ~*~

             -Maybe a week later Riku knocked on their door.  

           Kairi met him there, noted the bag slung over his shoulder, and asked, “You’re leaving.”

           She’d phrased it as a statement, not a question, but Riku answered anyway.  “Yeah.” He shifted the bag a little.  “I’m going to bring him home.  I promise.”

           “Do you think you can?”

           She hadn’t meant to ask the question, and Riku gave her a long look before saying, “Yeah.”

           (Sora had brought her home, after all.)

           Kairi nodded.  “Stay safe.”

           “I will.”  He smiled, but it looked tired and guilty and not quite right on his face. “Don’t worry.  We’ve been doing this a while, after all.”

           (She didn’t ask him to take her with him, and he didn’t offer.  Maybe, a lifetime ago, he would’ve, and maybe, a lifetime ago, she would’ve accepted. Now she just returned to her empty room and sat on her bed and wondered why her chest felt so hollow.)

                                                             ~*~

             -Water lapped against her cheek, and for a moment Kairi thought she’d fallen asleep on the beach.  But when she opened her eyes a wide expanse of water and clear, blue sky stretched as far as the eye could see.

           (She remembered this place, vaguely, somewhere in her scattered memories after Xehanort had attacked her with his Keyblade.  It had felt like pieces of her were breaking away, pulled into that sky, and she’d been so confused and afraid but knew she couldn’t go, because Sora and Riku would be worried about her—

           And then warm hands had found her, and a familiar voice had whispered, “I found you,” but had sounded as sad as it had relieved.)

           It felt like she was walking in place, her footsteps making quiet splashing sounds as she moved. Occasionally she caught glimpses of stars, barely there, but looking at them too long gave her a headache, and so she kept going.

           Then—

           “Kairi?”

           Her heart leapt into her throat.  Her words caught behind it, and she sucked in a shaky, ragged breath.

           Sora stood in front of her, looking like he’d been made from the water that pooled under their feet, his mouth parted in a surprised gasp.

           Kairi crossed the distance and crashed into him.  He didn’t feel like he was made of water; he felt warm, solid, real, and she sobbed into his shoulder, sobbed for the first time since he’d brought her back to the islands, sobbed because he was here, and he was okay.

           Arms slowly wrapped around her and his chest shook with a quiet laugh.  “Right.  Chirithy mentioned that people could cross over in their dreams sometimes.  For a moment, I thought…”  He trailed away and hugged her tighter.  “It’s good to see you, Kairi.”

           “Where have you been?”

           “I’ve, uh.”  She felt him shrug.  “Away?”

           She sobbed harder. “I’m sorry,” she wailed.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I thought I could do it, I’m sorry—”

           “Hey.  Hey.” Sora pulled away for a moment, and Kairi wanted to protest, wanted to drag him closer, but he held her arms gently and gave her a small smile.  He wiped a tear away.  “This? This isn’t your fault.  It was Xehanort’s, for—for making you come here in the first place.  And I chose to come after you.  No one made me.”

           “I should’ve been stronger.”

           “It was your first real fight!  I mean, we kind of did just throw you into a war headfirst.”  He smiled, awkward and sad.

           (She wondered if he blamed himself for what happened to her, too.)

           “Riku’s coming to find you,” she said.

           “What?!”

           “Not—not the way you found me.”  She smiled a little.

           Sora relaxed. “Whew.  That’s a relief.”  He gave the world around him a glance.  “Guess I should wait here a while longer, then.”

           “Were you going to leave?”

           Sora looked like he wasn’t sure how to answer.  His attention shifted skyward, and Kairi was suddenly aware of how it seemed like the world was growing brighter.  Sora’s shoulders slumped.  “I think it’s time for you to wake up.”

           Kairi clung to Sora’s arms tighter.  “I don’t want to.”

           Sora gently detached himself from her.  “It’s okay, Kairi.”

           The light grew brighter. Kairi reached for him, but it felt suddenly like her limbs were made of lead, the water beneath slowly dragging her down.  “Sora!”

           Sora smiled, and tapped his chest, and his lips moved in silent words.

           “Sora—Sora, I can’t hear you, what are you—”

           And then she was falling, the waves crashing over her head and dragging her down.

                                                              ~*~

             -When Ven showed up on Kairi’s doorstep one morning, she could only stare.  Ven rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.  “Uh.  Hey?”

           The little cat Dream Eater beside him—Chirithy, if she remembered correctly—sighed and shook their head.  “Oh, boy.”

           “What are you doing here?” Kairi asked, wondering distantly if maybe Naminé had asked him to come.

           “I wanted to visit.”

           Kairi stiffened, waiting for the same platitudes that she’d come to expect from her classmates, for the same sad looks she’d get from Lea and Naminé.

           But Ven didn’t look sad. A bit awkward and uncertain, maybe, but his eyes were bright.  “The Destiny Islands were Sora’s home.  I kind of saw them when I was in Sora’s heart, but I didn’t really see them, you know?  I was curious.”

           Curiosity got the better of her, and she asked, “So, why come to my house, instead of Sora’s?”

           Ven made a face, and it reminded her so much of Sora that she had to take a moment to focus again. “It’s weird.  Like, I’d have to explain how I know her and how I’m connected to Sora, and, uh—there’s no good way to explain any of that without freaking her out.”

           Kairi gave a small smile. “I suppose not.”

           “I’d like to explore the island, if you don’t mind showing me around?  Naminé, too, if she wants to come.”  He smiled brightly.  “I never really got the chance to really meet you guys, either.  I mean, I kind of did, but not—you know.”

           Kairi laughed. “It’s fine.”  She stepped out of the house and closed the door quietly. “Naminé’s spending the day with some friends from school, though.  I hope you don’t mind if it’s just me.”

           “Of course not!”

           As Kairi led Ven around the island, he’d alternate between talking to her, asking questions about whatever they saw, and occasionally drifting away to check something out, much to Chirithy’s chagrin.  His enthusiasm was contagious, and the heaviness that had settled in since Riku left (since Sora left) eased a little.

           Ven looked towards the Play Island when they reached the beach.  “Can we row out there?” he asked.  “I know we visited once, when…”  He trailed away, suddenly looking guilty.

           Here it comes, Kairi thought, stiffening.  She braced herself and said, tersely, “He’s not dead.”

           “I know.”

           She whipped towards him. He didn’t look like he was patronizing her; his eyes were still bright, eyebrows furrowed in faint confusion, his mouth pulling down in a confused frown.  He looked sincere.

           (It didn’t matter that Chirithy seemed strangely subdued, looking down at their pouch with their eyes scrunched into little slits.  If someone else believed it—if someone else thought that Sora was just missing, then—

           Maybe it was true.)

           Maybe it was that confirmation that gave her the courage to say it, or maybe it was how much Ven reminded her of Sora, or maybe it was just the restless emptiness in her chest that finally spilled over: “Want to go look for him?”

           Ven’s expression morphed into surprise.  “Isn’t Riku looking already?”

           “Two groups are better than one.”  She glanced back towards the Play Island.  “And I can’t sit around waiting anymore.”

           The surprise faded into something more serious.  Ven seemed to consider it a few moments, his hand resting over his heart.  “I’ll have to let Terra and Aqua know,” he said. “If I disappear after we all just got back, they’ll be worried.”

           Kairi whipped towards him, and for the first time in a long time, her chest didn’t feel quite so empty.

           Ven grinned, and it was as fierce as it was bright.  “Let’s go find him.”

 _______________________________________________________________

…Ven and Kairi team up when?

[hamburgergod]

stay out of the cold with the latest orange and grapefruit verse where Dean and Cas are roommates and Cas happens to be a human-harpy hybrid! In this installment, Charlie and Jo deal with a broken heater and Dean and Cas offer a solution. ~2.5k 

[AO3] [dreamwidth]

“The heater at my place broke again,” is what Charlie says instead of a normal greeting.

“Hey to you, too,” Dean replies through a mouthful of rice and chicken. “Again?”

“Yeah.” She’s wearing the full gear—mittens, earmuffs, a scarf, the whole lot. She slumps over the cafeteria table. “This is how I’ve been sleeping.”

“Are you serious?”

“No,” she replies and Dean starts to laugh, but she only grows more grim. “I also wear ski pants on top of one of those fuzzy pajama bottoms and these super thick socks that I can’t fit into my boots. Also two sweaters and my coat.”

“Oh. Shit.” Dean forgives her for stealing one of his chicken pieces, if only out of pity. “That sucks, man. Did you tell the landlord?”

“Yeah, but he hasn’t done anything yet.” She chews on the piece mournfully. “He said he would, but he hasn’t. On a completely unrelated note, our lease includes all utilities, so. You know how it is.”

He can relate—it wouldn’t be the first time a college student had a dick landlord. “Dude, that sucks,” he says, more for consolation than anything since there’s not much he can offer.

She shows him the pictures she took of her windows this morning, which are completely frozen over—not with frost, but covered with bumpy ice, and the sides almost like thick icicles that are seen on tree trunks during winter. Jesus Christ. Dean adds a mental note to pick up some insulation film for their own apartment, although that might be overdoing it this year.

“This winter hasn’t been easy on anyone from what I hear,” she says, nibbling on a piece of green pepper from his lunch. “So how come you’re fine, Kansas boy?”

“Stereotype.”

She laughs. “But seriously,” says Charlie, “last year you wouldn’t shut up about how cold you were. How come this time you’re so—” She waves at him, half-disgusted at his well-being, “content?”

She has a point. Around the same time last year, Dean thought freezing to death in his room half-delirious from staying up the night to finish his report was how he was going to go. He shrugs. “Maybe ‘cause I have a smaller place now?”

“Like hell,” Charlie replies, and Dean laughs. “Maybe your landlord actually cares about heating this year.”

Dean snorts. “Maybe.”

It took him a little while to understand that it wasn’t the heater that’s been extra productive but another fairly new constant in his life. Said fairly new constant that’s currently walking into the living room wearing an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, yawning up a storm.

“Good nap?” Dean asks, looking up from his phone. Cas nods, still somewhat out of it, and joins him on the couch. The heat from his body radiates towards Dean soon enough, and it’s such a perfect amount of toasty that Dean’s about to break out the marshmallows and the graham crackers. Dude’s like a walking heater.

Dean can’t help but let out a content sigh. The otherwise frosty living room soon thaws, and Dean loosens his grip on the blanket he was clutching at.

“What’s for dinner?” Cas demands sleepily. Dean huffs, and tells him it’s mac n’ cheese. “Stovetop or from the oven?”

“Which one would you rather have?”

“Oven-baked. Obviously the superior version.”

It’s a bit more work, but Dean’s up for the challenge. “Okay, then I’ll make that one.”

Pleased, Cas smiles. Maybe Dean imagines it, but the heat radiating from Cas becomes a little more intense for a second before it flares back down into a steady source of warmth.

Good mood means more heat. Cool.

Dean helps to shake the snow off the top of Charlie’s bobble hat. She gives a full-body shiver in return, her nose red and her cheeks icy cold.

“God,” she says. “I’m going to die. Straight up freeze my ass to death.”

“Heater still not fixed?”

“F-fucking—nope.” She shoots a grim smile. “But Jo and I sent our landlord an email briefly mentioning the HUD, and he replied saying he’s booked a repair guy. Right away! Can you believe this guy?” She sniffles. “Except today is Friday, so repair guy won’t be here until Monday at the very least. I just know that my ass is out of that house as soon as the lease is up.”

“How long’s your lease for?”

“…Until the summer. Ugh.” Charlie shivers up again. Dean pities her. “Apparently it’s supposed to snow tonight, again. I’m going to die, Dean.” Her voice sounds slightly blocked from having a congestion, and Dean touches the tip of her nose. It’s completely frozen.

“You guys don’t have a couch to crash at until then?”

“Nope,” Charlie replies miserably.

So miserably, that Dean doesn’t think twice about it when he whips his phone out to text Cas.

Charlie almost cries when she steps into their apartment.

“I have never been more glad to be in a dude’s apartment than I am now,” she says tearfully, and Dean snorts, directing her to the couch. She gladly takes the offer, and snuggles up against the blanket that’s already bunched up on top of it. Dean makes them both a cup of hot chocolate while she boots up her laptop, making cooing noises at it all the while.

“Jo says she’ll head here as soon as she’s done work,” Charlie says. “God, do you know how nice it is to feel my toes again?”

Dean laughs.  “Did you want anything specific for dinner?”

“You’re feeding me too?! Oh my god, dude.” Charlie sends the blanket flying as she hugs him. “Best temp roommate ever.”

“Alright, alright.” Dean gives her a firm pat on the back with a smile. “Don’t get too used to it.”

“I’ll treat you guys tomorrow. I promise.” Charlie holds up a hand to Dean’s protest. “Dean, you’re already providing us so much. It’s the least I can do.”

It’s then that Cas shuffles out of his room stretching and takes a moment to blink at Charlie in split second confusion before his smile breaks through. “Hello, Charlie.”

“Hey man!” Charlie gets up to hug him too. “Thanks for this. Jo and I are super grateful.”

Cas frowns. “The living condition at your place doesn’t sound very accommodating.”

“Don’t get me started on that.”

Jo joins them after work as Charlie’s promised and soon enough everyone’s piled up in the living room being warmed to their very core. Charlie dozes off a few times and Jo pokes her awake just long enough to have her finish her essay. Dean makes quesadillas and passes plates of it around, smacking Jo’s hand away from grabbing the plate near her.

“Ow! What’s your deal?”

“That’s Cas’s,” Dean replies. At Jo’s eyebrow quirk, he adds, “He doesn’t like chicken.”

Cas’s head perks up from between his textbook and gives Dean a blinding smile. Dean flushes hot under his collar at the sight; it’s not that big of a deal for Cas to look so pleased that Dean remembered that Cas doesn’t like eating chicken (“Is it like… borderline cannibalism for you guys?” “Not so much cannibalism as it feels… wrong for me to eat. Would you ever eat a monkey?”). His face is warm as he hands him his plate and he still doesn’t cool back down when he’s sitting in his spot with his own plate.

“Is it hotter in here or what?” asks Charlie.

“What?” Dean clears his throat. “No. What?”

“No, it definitely got hotter,” says Jo. She fans herself, her own face slightly red. Oh. Temperature-wise, they mean. Duh. “It went from 0 to 100 real quick all of a sudden.”

Charlie rolls up her sleeves and Jo ties her hair up into a ponytail while Cas pretends to not notice any of this is happening, his face slightly red also probably from his own body heat, and Dean tries to contain his own smile. Dude must really like his quesadilla or something, geez.

The rest of the weekend goes by relatively event-free and Charlie and Jo are more than happy to go back to their house after their heater is fixed. Though the apartment feels much bigger after those two leave even though they only stayed for two nights, Dean’s also secretly a little bit relieved to have his and Cas’s space back. He especially feels worse when, as soon as Charlie and Jo walk out the front door, Cas lets out a mile long groan and his wings shudder out full-force, twitchy from having been crammed in without an opportunity to stretch them.

Dean winces. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” says Cas, even though this must’ve been harder for him than anyone else in the apartment.

“Was it? Really?” Dean pokes the side of Cas’s wing and Cas yelps. “Sorry!”

Cas huffs as he relaxes his wings down again, and rolls his shoulders with a crane of his neck. “It was still nice to have their company,” he says graciously.

Cas cranes his neck with a wince and look, Dean feels bad. He really does. So he offers the only thing he can think of. “D’you want a massage?”

Cas’s head snaps to Dean, wide-eyed. “What?”

Dean blinks. Well, that was a response. “A massage. For your wings.” Dean shifts his weight on his feet, slightly unnerved by Cas’s sudden upped intensity. “I feel bad, y’know? My fault you couldn’t stretch them out.”

Cas’s wings twitch in place like he’s trying to hold them very still just like how he holds himself right now as he stares at Dean with disbelief. His face grows more and more crimson until the tips of his ears are bright red.

“Did… I say something wrong?”

“Um.” Cas blinks rapidly. His tongue quickly pokes out to lick his lips. “No. Just.” He coughs. “You don’t understand what you’re offering to do.”

“Huh?”

As if saying that out loud was more to confirm it to himself than to inform Dean, Cas relaxes as he watches Dean’s cluelessness grows. “Humans… hold hands and, and touch each other as an act of intimacy typically when they’re romantically involved. Wing grooming and such for harpies…”

“Oh.” So Dean basically offered to… He flushes. “Oh.”

“It’s alright,” Cas says quickly as if he understands how painfully embarrassing it is to misunderstand one’s cultural aspect and make a fool out of himself. Oh, wait. Ha. “You didn’t know what you were saying.”

“Right.” Dean laughs awkwardly.

Cas offers an awkward smile in return and suddenly the living room is more stuffy than ever, a thin layer of something hovering over them as they stand there like dumbasses without being able to look each other in the eyes for some reason.

Dean can’t take it. “Do uh, do you only wing groom your partners?” he asks with the sole purpose of academic interest. Someone’s gotta ask these questions, right? “Like, this is strictly romantic?”

Cas thinks about it. His face contorts in an interesting way as he thinks, his eyes screwing up as his eyebrows move up and down and his mouth pursed into a thin line. “No. Not always.”

A sliver of hope. “Oh?”

“No,” Cas says slowly, like an old computer rebooting itself after it blue-screened. “A baby harpy would have their wings groomed by their parents, or close friends would help each other with hard-to-reach places. No,” he repeats, “there’s a platonic aspect to it. It’s circumstantial.”

“Oh.” Dean’s shoulders sag with relief and he laughs, more genuine this time. “Then why’d you make it so weird when I offered, dude?”

Cas frowns down. His wings twitch again. “I don’t know.”

Thank god. Thank god it was just Cas being his socially awkward self and not Dean having crossed a line. “Well, hey, offer’s still on the table if you want.”

Cas flushes and rubs the back of his neck. His wings flutter slightly. He sighs. “It would be nice,” he admitted.

They sit down on the floor since the couch is too small to accompany Cas’s wings while he’s sitting up. Dean thinks about suggesting Cas to lie down but thinks better on it. Now that he actually has Cas’s wings sitting in front of him, he’s not sure where to start.

“Should I…” Dean experimentally digs his fingers upwards into Cas’s right wing, watching with fascination as his fingers disappear into the feathers. Cas stiffens for a split second before he relaxes with a big breath. “You okay?”

Cas nods though he’s still a little stiff. “Yes.”

Dean sort of… kneads his fingers into Cas’s wings by moving up against the feathers like Cas told him to, until he reaches between Cas’s shoulder blades and gently presses a few times. Cas groans into the touch and yep, okay, he must’ve done something right. Dean grows more confident as he kneads back down each wing, doing his best to not hurt Cas’s joints by mistake and Cas’s feathers become more lax.

He works himself up a sweat moving up and down on his knees—he’s boiling hot— but Dean’s starting to really get the hang of this. Cas seems like he’s responding better too, with the way his back arcs slightly and the way he lets out a sigh every once in a while as his wings shudder under Dean’s touch. Cas’s wings flutter out of Dean’s grasp then, standing up abruptly and almost leaving Dean with a handful of feathers.

“Thank you, Dean.” He clears his throat. “I think that’s good enough.”

“Yeah?” Dean grins. “Feel better now?”

“Yes.” Cas shuffles his wings before he puts them away in the blink of an eye. Dean still can’t get used to the transition. Cas’s face is still red so Dean’s not the only one feeling the temperature. “I have a—I remembered that I have a thing to work on, so.”

“Yeah, sure man. Let me know if you ever want another massage,” he says to Cas’s retreating back, who gives him a thumbs up without turning back and goes straight to his room.

Well, that wasn’t so bad. Everyone got off that pretty happy, and hey, Dean’s pretty proud.

Dean yawns and gets ready for the rest of the day.

Castiel, meanwhile, face-plants onto his bed and lets out a long, quiet groan of frustration into his pillow, the sensation of Dean’s touches still ghosting over his wings.

Now he has to live with knowing how that feels.

[advocatewrites-blog]

Into the Unknown Part 4 Chapter 2

Into the Unknown

Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)

Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,

Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.

Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers,  mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.

Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.

The hallway outside of the Ruins was a lot longer than either of them had expected. It was too dimly lit for either of them to see quite clearly, and the damp chill of caverns only grew as they walked. There was only one clear beacon of light as another chasm opened above them.

In the beacon of light, there sat a flower.

“I bet you think you’re real clever, don’t cha?” said Flowey. “Saving your goat mom like that?”

Both of them were still rattled from the fight, so the most Dipper could really do was stomp on Flowey. It burrowed back underground before his foot hit the ground.

“Tell me,” said Flowey as he popped up behind them.  “What do you think you would have done if you hadn’t saved her? What will happen if you meet someone you can’t spare?”

“We’re not here to fight anyone!” said Dipper.

“Oh? So why are you here, then?”

Mabel sent Dipper a concerned looked. The two fell silent. That was all that Flowey wanted to hear.

“You don’t know,” said Flowey in realization. “Don’t worry, my little monarchs. You’re not the ones I’m looking for. And maybe once you stop that goody two-shoes act, we can agree on something.”

Flowey burrowed back underground, leaving them alone.

“What was that about?” Mabel asked.

“I’m not sure…” said Dipper. “Mabel, what were we doing when we came down here?”

Mabel hummed as she thought.

“The last thing I remember was being at the Shack,” she said.

“Same with me,” said Dipper. “Do you think maybe something paranormal brought us here?”

“I mean, we are in a world of magic and monsters,” said Mabel. “Nothing’s out of the question.”

“Then we better get to work,” said Dipper.

Chapter 2

They didn’t talk much after they were reunited. It was too late to make any real plans, too dark to look at the map Frisk had gotten, and they were too tired to think clearly.

It was early when they started to talk again. The sun had barely risen above the mountains that surrounded them, but it was light enough that Frisk could read the map.

None of the mountains surrounding them were Mt. Ebott.

“These are not normal woodlands,” said the Cat. “Perhaps you can try finding another monster here?”

Frisk nodded.

“Then I suggest we try to avoid gnomes.”

He jumped out of his skin when he saw the white bone. A skull sat in the hoodie. Attached to the rest of it was a skeleton. Two pinpricks of light hovered in the eye sockets, as close to pupils as it could get.

“alright. go ahead and take your choice. don’t got enough g on me to keep restocking.”

The skeleton monster gave a vague gesture to a set of lamps sitting by the checkpoint station, and what fear Dipper had faded into confusion.

“Why do you just have human shaped lamps?” Dipper asked.

“ya better make it quick,” the skeleton said. “my bro’s gonna be here in a few minutes and he’s a human hunting fanatic.”

Dipper’s eyes widened as he put together what he meant, and dove behind one of the lamps that had a shade of a long cone. Mabel fell right behind him, and hid behind her own lamp.

“SANS!”

“sup bro?”

Mabel poked her head out from the lampshade. “Oh, he’s cute!”

Dipper looked up just long enough to see the other addresser.

“He’s a skeleton,” said Dipper.

“You say that like it’ll stop me,” said Mabel.

“SANS? ARE THOSE HUMANS?”

The twins froze. Slowly, they both poked their heads out from the lampshade.

“sure, bro,” said the shorter skeleton. His skeletal smile was as thick as ever (and Dipper noted in the back of his mind that it didn’t move when he spoke), but there was a hint of frustration in his tone that Dipper could not quite place why.

“GOOD JOB!! I GUESS THERE IS MERIT TO STARING AT THESE LAMPS ALL DAY!!!” The taller skeleton turned to the twins. “ATTENTION HUMANS! !!YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! !! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CAPTURE YOU!!! PROCEED…ONLY IF YOU DARE!!!”

He ran off, his laugh growing more and more distant.

“sorry bout that,” said the shorter skeleton. “name’s sans, by the way.”

He offered Dipper a hand up. Dipper noted the pink whoopee cushion hidden under his phalanges and decided to pull himself back up.

“Human hunting?” Dipper asked. “So you’re trying to hunt us down?”

“nah. he won’t hurt a fly,” said sans. “he’ll just fight you and give you awful puzzles to solve. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for you kids.”

sans walked off into the other direction as his brother. Dipper waited until he could not see him anymore to talk.

“Who just has a dozen people-shaped lamps waiting out in the middle of the forest?” He asked.

“The same kind of person who keeps hot dogs under his stand,” said Mabel as she rose. “And the kind of person I wanna be friends with. Want one?”

Dipper took one without thinking. His mind was racing.

Sans was not all that surprised to see the two humans in the world of monsters. He had gone through the trouble of special ordering several human-shaped lamps and dragging them out into the snow and forest. He had been expecting them.

“sans definitely knows something,” said Dipper as he took a bite of his hot dog. “Let’s try and figure out what.”

“Sounds like a plan, plan man!”

It was then that Dipper realized whatever he put into his mouth was not hot dog meat.

They find the boyband first. Frisk vaguely recalled seeing them on TV at one point, so it’s a bit of a surprise to find them in a magical forest. They thought about asking them whether or not they knew anything about the Kingdom of Monsters, but decide against it after they have to talk one of them out of eating a pinecone.

The boyband was not the only humans they found in the forest. They stumbled upon a campsite, where the only difference between its two occupants is the numbers on their hats. They did not know where Mt. Ebott was, but they were kind enough to show them where the other magical places in the forest are and offered their campsite if they couldn’t find a place for the night.

They find the gnomes again. They weren’t helpful.

It was late in the afternoon when something interesting happened. They only ventured in to town for a few moments, for Frisk to buy some food with what money they had left. It was only a packet of jerky from a vending machine, but it was enough until they can figure something else out. They wandered off to one of the prettier spots in the woods, settled down on a log, opened the packet…

The forest rumbled. Birds flew and gnomes ran away. Soundwaves shook the trees and cause ripples in the stream. The earth shook as something raced closer.

The Manutaur approaches.

Frisk ACTS without thinking, and held the jerky packed out in front of them. The fight stopped instantly.

“Not going to fight back, tiny human?” The manutaur asked as he poured jerky down his throat.

Frisk shook their head and shrugged.

“I believe they would like to talk to you instead,” said the Cat. “They are looking for a way into a kingdom of monsters. It should be hidden in the mountains.”

The manutaur hummed in thought. “Climb onto my backhairs. I’ll take you to meet with High Council.”

“I think I’ll pass,” said the Cat.

Frisk climbed aboard, and let the cat jumped onto their shoulders. The Manutaur sped off.

“HE’S…WELL…HE’S A BIG FUZZY PUSHOVER!” said Papyrus. “EVERYBODY LOVES THAT GUY! I AM CERTAIN IF YOU JUST SAY…’EXCUSE ME, MR. DREEMURR, CAN I PLEASE GO HOME?’ HE’LL GUIDE YOU RIGHT TO THE BARRIER HIMSELF! ANYWAY!!! THAT’S ENOUGH TALKING!!! I’LL BE AT HOME BEING A COOL FRIEND!!! LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU WANT TO GO ON THAT DATE!!!”

Papyrus ran through them back to his house, a movement that was at best a mix of running, skipping, and floating. His laughter faded off in the distance.

Dipper hardly noticed. His mind was abuzz with the new information, trying to put together what Papyrus had said to the theories he had already crafted into his head.

He hardly even noticed the last thing Papyrus had said, until he looked over at Mabel and saw the look in her eyes.

“You want to go on a date with him right away?” Dipper asked.

“Why not?” said Mabel. “He said we can visit whenever we want for that date!”

“Your date,” Dipper said.

“And what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know! I think there was a restaurant in town…”

“I bet if you go with me you’d be able to talk to sans about whatever nerdy stuff you wanna talk about,” said Mabel.

Dipper opened his mouth to argue, but close it just as quickly. That was actually a good point.

“Just promise me you won’t call my thing a date,” said Dipper.

“Can’t! Let’s go!”

It was a long and hard-fought training montage that lasted the whole day. But eventually, Frisk was accepted by the Mautaurs. They gave them bits of leather armor that did not really fit them, a spear made of bone and stone that reminded them of Papyrus and Undyne, and some neat temporary tattoos. They were sent on their way to conquer the Multibear.

“And we shall go with you to make sure you don’t botch this like Destructor did,” said Pituitor.

But Frisk knew they weren’t going to Fight the Multibear, much less conquer it. Hopefully the other Manutaurs would be cool with that too.

The Multibear lived on the other side of the mountain range. Frisk scaled it the way the Mautaurs had taught them. They entered the cave. The Manutaurs were right behind them.

The sounds of roars alerted Frisk to the location of the Multibear before their eyes could fully adjust to the darkness. The Multibear emerged from the shadows.

“Bear heads! Quiet!” The biggest head of the Multibear snapped. “So, the Manutaurs have seen fit to send to me another human.”

“Yeah, because you SUCK!” Gronk shouted from outside.

The bear head growled again, but stopped as it was slapped.

Frisk nodded enthusiastically. They put their spear down to sign.

“I am afraid I do not speak the language of Hands,” said the Multibear.

“Then allow me to translate,” said the Cat as he emerged from a stalagmite. “They want to ask you for directions.”

There was a loud groan from the Manutaurs outside. The Cat ignored it.

“They wish to find the Kingdom of Monsters,” said the Cat.

“You would provoke the ire of the Manutaurs just to find it?” asked the Multibear.

Frisk nodded.

“Then you must be very lost,” said the Multibear. “Very well. I will tell you what I know.”

Papyrus’ house was a unique mixture of old, clashing furniture, and surfaces so clean it was hard to believe that they had ever held dust. In a lot of ways, it reminded Dipper of the Mystery Shack. He took a seat on the couch and started to flip through a book on quantum physics.

“Wow! How’d you get your sink so high?”

Shoved in between the pages was a joke book, just a little smaller than the textbook.  Curious, Dipper took that out.

“DO YOU LIKE IT?! I MADE IT TALLER SO I CAN STORE MORE BONES UNDERNEATH. TAKE A LOOK!!!”

The joke book had been hollowed out to hold another book on quantum physics. Dipper took it out and opened it up.

“WHAT?!?! CATCH THAT MEDDLING CANINE!”

Dipper looked up long enough from the books to watch the small Pomeranian from before rush through the kitchen and out the door.

“CURSES!”

The sound of a sad trombone filled the house.

“SANS!! STOP PLAUGING MY LIFE WITH INCIDENTAL MUSIC AND COME HELP ME ENTERTAIN THESE HUMANS!”

“oh, what?” sans’ voice echoed from the top of the stairs.

“YES! THE TALLER HUMAN AND I WERE PLANNING ON GOING TO MY ROOM AND DOING…WHATEVER IT IS PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY GO ON DATES! COULD YOU PERHAPS ENTERTAIN THE SHORTER ONE???”

“I’m shorter than Mabel by, like, an inch!” said Dipper.

There was a lingering pause upstairs, as sans thought about what had been asked.

“sure thing bro,”

There was the sound of a closing door upstairs, and the front door swung open.

“sorry bro,” said sans. “just wanted to make sure i got my date clothes on.”

The only thing Dipper noticed that was different were his socks, now matching.

“GREAT!! COME ALONG THEN, HUMAN!!! HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE, SANS!!!”

Mabel wriggled her eyebrows at Dipper as she rushed upstairs with Papyrus. Dipper tried his best to ignore her.

*DATING START!

“So, uh…” Dipper started. He made a vague gesture to the books on his lap.

“oh yeah,” said sans. “paps got that one for me. i made a few of my own modifications, of course, but i don’t think he’s gotten the joke yet.”

Silence fell between the two as Dipper tried to think of what to say next.

“DON’T THINK YOU’VE BESTED ME YET!!!” Papyrus’ voice rang from upstairs. “I’VE NEVER BEEN BEATING AT DATING AND I NEVER WILL!!”

“Hey, sans,” said Dipper. “Do you know anything about a talking flower?”

The atmosphere grew heavy. sans’ grin tightened, and for a second Dipper felt a shiver up his spine.

“the echo flowers in waterfall, right?” sans asked. “didn’t think you had made it that far.”

“We haven’t,” said Dipper. “I mean a small golden flower that talks back at you, not just an echo.”

“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE HIDDEN POWER OF THIS OUTFIT!”

sans was silent for a moment. He shifted in his seat so he could look Dipper in the eyes. His smile had grown bigger, but Dipper was not entirely sure that was a good thing.

“I have a question for you kid…how did you end up in the Underground?”

“I don’t know. Mabel and I just kind of ended up here,” said Dipper. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. And I think that flower might have something to do with it.”

“RIGHT! BUT OH SO WRONG! THIS AIN’T ANY PLAIN OL’ PASTA!! THIS IS AN ARTISAN’S WORK!!! SILKEN SPAGHETTI FINLEY AGED IN AN OAKEN CAST, THEN COOKED BY ME, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS!!!”

“And I think you might know something about it,” Dipper finished.

The lights in sans’s eyesockets went out. Dipper fought the urge to jump back and run. Phalanges tapped on the sofa, forming a melodic pattern.

“What makes you think that, bucko?”

Dipper swallowed in a vain attempt to stop his voice from cracking before he spoke.

“Who orders a set of human-shaped lamps and leaves them out in the forest?”

“AUGH!!! URGH!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

“Should we do something about that?” Dipper asked.

“nah, they’re probably fine.” said sans. “but you know…you may be on to something kiddo. tell you what; you tell me more about that flower, i’ll tell you more about the other humans. deal?”

“Fine.” said Dipper.

“great. i’ll keep an eyesocket out for you, kid.”

sans stood from the couch and walked out the front door again. Dipper did not have a chance to question it before Mabel came downstairs.

“How’d it go?” he asked.

“I dunno,” said Mabel as she plopped onto the couch. “I mean he dumped me, but that was the best date I’ve ever been on.”

Dipper decided it was not worth it to point out that all of her other dates were with a group of gnomes, a merman, a psychic brat currently in jail, and the guy on the $10 bill.

“How’d talking to sans go?” Mabel asked.

“I might be onto something,” Dipper said. “There’s a lot more going on in the Underground that we don’t know about.”

Author’s Note: Compared to Coraline, Wirt, Greg, and even Norman to an extent, the Pines twins know what they’re doing. They’re ready to solve some mysteries and rewrite history.

[prince-darkleboop]

14, 33, and 48 for the oc asks!

I’m going the TF2 OCs route.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory  

... oh

You know, I occasionally talk about one particular trans BLU Spy, Lazare. Drink knows the full story about him (just about, there’s little tidbits that are split and vary depending on plotlines, but Lazare is A Mess(TM))

Welp, let’s get started! (Imma suggest people press j/scroll past if they don’t want to read about transphobia and all sorts of abuse. I mean it, like primarily physical, but there’s some sprinkles of heavy implied sexual, emotional, and all the other abuses you could think of)

So he’s born as the ‘daughter’ of a merchant and banker in what’s called the Pyrénées-Atlantiques area, likely in Lower Navarre (so he’s French and Basque), so he fits somewhere in the middle class. He’s got a younger sister, a mom, a dad, and a couple of random ass family members and very good friends that typically make up a family of nine (usually). He’s got black hair, and heterochormia irridium: one eye green, one eye blue (used to be just green but I apparently like bi colored eyes for him)

He always knew he was a boy. Too bad his mom wasn’t very amused, heated up a spoon and burned it on his hand when he was about... 9 (It’s either 8 or 9 but pretty sure it’s 9)

During the war (he’s roughly 14~16 during this period of time), his father is dead (he was told dubious things), his mother and younger sister flee to Britain (limited transport, could only do two), and he’s with his uncle he doesn’t really like. That’s kinda okay, he’s around two really friendly priests that were friends of his father. Good ol’ Father Mendoza and Father Maxime, was really great friends with his father and became great friends with him. Stayed around during the war, despite how it might’ve been more than a little dangerous (since they’re really close to Basque and visit once a week from Basque, they’re likely Catholic) 

Too bad his uncle’s a fascist.Who knows what the uncle’s reasoning was. Lazare already disliked his uncle because said uncle followed through with his mother’s stringent requests (post collapse, it’s likely a French based middle class family would have had time to arrange themselves into a semi-comfortable position, but Lazare recalls a lot of cooking and gardening and a lot of women’s tasks that used to be left to the servants). It likely got worse post German occupation. The intention was resistance fighters got in the way, and the uncle was going to teach Lazare what happens to those who rebel.

Lazare got to him first, purely because the utter betrayal of his home and country (twice) made him angry. Besides, Lazare knew he could take risks.

Recall the father I barely mentioned? And his good friends Father Mendoza and Father Maxime?They’re all First World War Spies. Lazare didn’t know the Spy bit, but because of where he lived at, his father insisted that everyone know Spanish, Basque, and French. His father thought Lazare was slacking in Spanish.Nope, Lazare was just your typical rebellious kid who had too much a penchant for listening in on secrets. Well, Lazare knew that his father supported “the Monastery” and there were all sorts of religious terms used to talk. But Lazare wasn’t actively encouraged to read the Bible until it suddenly became banned by his uncle.And all the quotes started to make sense in a “this is a code” way.

And those rebel fighters included a mishmash of people, including who would become his best friend, Dima Rishmawi (who later became known under the codename Nube (though I’ve constantly misspelled it as Nuba, gj me))Dima’s got her own story so just know two things 1. she’s around Lazare’s age and 2. she’s a sniper (her papa was a sniper and taught his twin daughters)

Dima stayed behind because she realized Lazare had nothing and they essentially had to make sure stuff was unusable. Helped that Father Maxime and Father Mendoza come over and help. They were a little upset at the two, but figured it would happen (damned fascists). Well, sometimes the best spies are ones that have to be tossed in blindly. Not to say Father Maxime and Father Mendoza didn’t help, but both Dima and Lazare took massive risks.

But I will say that this is likely when Lazare is 16 (and Dima’s a year older, roughly). This is... roughly 1941~1942 (which does account for resistance fights and the like, but tf2 world is weird anyhow so I do fumble around with years). His primary Spying is 1943~1946(ish). He’s young.The main reason I accent this, is his worst enemy and influence is Father Mendoza. This is a man who partially flayed his arm, because Lazare didn’t have the stomach to flay one of his enemies. And it’s not the worst done to Lazare.The barest I will say, because while I want people to understand that Mendoza is horrifying, but at the same time tumblr is a crapshot and I can’t quite put tagged warnings (there’s probably a way that I do not know).. Mendoza deserves worse than what he will ever get.

but Mendoza trains him as does Maxime, and he learns a lot of tips from The Monastery (I will explain this in a bit). Lazare and Dima wander the countryside, Lazare with new knife skills and a Dead Ringer, Dima with her sniper rifle. They trade secrets for bullets and rations. Lazare becomes known as the mysterious nun, often uses the modifier ‘The Queen of Navarre’ as a signature (it’s a bit of a joke). Their luck runs out 1945, when they were captured by Italian fascists (so the event was they were being paid better than normal to find out what the fuck was going on at some outpost that agency Spies couldn’t sort out. In short: bad shit.)

An assortment of things happen, and a mixture of contrivance and someone’s mercy let them live.Only Lazare is pregnant. He’s genuinely Catholic aligning, does not believe in abortion period. He’s miserable, but he’s having that baby.

Aside from being forced into semi-retirement (he knows a lot of things and that gets him from a hospital in Italy back to Basque, because the Monastery could help him), he encounters a different problem.

Agency Spies.

So this is essentially when the War starts calming the fuck down, but there’s still key people that need taking down and out. The Monastery is a ‘monastery’ full of First World War spies that kinda had nowhere to go. A bunch are old agency Spies that were left by the wayside. Some are missing limbs or an eye or are too stricken with PTSD and other illnesses that make Spying too difficult (impossible by agency standards). Some may have made a questionable decision that sent them to an early retirement, instead of climbing the ranks of the agency. Some more than likely should be dead (for whatever reason). Very few are horrible people, Mendoza is the exception because he’s good at hiding. So you’ve got the Monastery, and likely they’re not the only collection of non-agency Spies. There is an agreement between the Agency (as a whole) and the Monastery. The Monastery wants to be left the fuck alone because they’ve been abandoned, and it’s better to have non-agency Spies in your pocket, than have a group of very disgruntled Spies that may decide revenge over the good of nations.

You’ve also got the Agency. There’s a bunch, some nations have multiple (think the US), but many just have one within a nation. The agency in France regained control and they needed people. The agency in Spain was always in control, at the cost of many men and women.

See, they’ve heard about the Queen of Navarre, and Lazare could not hide his eyes. So. He gets harassed by both, while pregnant. Almost gets kidnapped once.Essentially Lazare knows the game: he’s going to get offered a contract. It’s not gonna be good. It’d essentially demand him until he dies (or he stops being good at being a Spy, but hah, that’s essentially death). Also noting that Lazare is 20~21, and pregnant. Lazare knows the stories from the Monastery Spies, the outcome is not gonna be good for the little one. Likely would become a Spy too, when the little one is really young. Younger than Lazare young.

Thankfully, the Monastery kept that from being a horrifying reality. And Father Maxime and Father Mendoza. Lazare does get to have a relatively peaceful birth and a couple months with his daughter (names her Teresa, there’s some French play he took inspiration from). Then, he had to leave. It was a tough decision, and he left for an assortment of them. But post giving birth, the Agencies gave him space, but they didn’t leave him alone.

So he leaves Teresa with Father Maxime (who honestly always wanted a family of his own so it works out) and Lazare and Dima go out.

Life does turn up for Lazare. He gets back at the people who wronged him and Dima. He gets to transition (took a bit, but he does do so). Eventually gets the Agencies off his damn back (transitioning helped a bit). Life is good as a small time fraud organizer and cooperate Spy (let’s just say some of his info includes businesses that were ill gotten and he influenced a bunch of closures and purchases and fractures because fuck those who profited off pain). But most his fraud was tax havens. He had a lot of businesses: taxi scams, hookah bars, tea houses, restaurants, even a mechanic’s shop he eventually pivoted to a legitimate business.

hell his religious conviction does lead to his name: Lazare. He sees himself as reborn. (I do think he’s had a crisis of faith at times, but he’s generally still Catholic leaning)

Ah, but how did he join MannCo?

So there was a small city in France (I picked Grenoble for some reason), a bunch of politicians were getting off a massive crime. It triggered an emotional response in Lazare, and he killed them. In public.there he was, in prison. likely was going to get sentenced to death for his crime there.And along came Miss Pauling.

(in terms of how it goes from there, I do have a written part that was based around gallows humor in AO3, but like, what happens is kinda up in the air, depends on what kind of plot in MannCo I shove him in. But mostly he’s in an unfavorable contract that’s got some basis of being half decent and like a prison sentence. Like a 10 year contract long. He gets signed on at 35~38, typically. This is kinda where things depend on plot.)

also a RED Medic took off his head and may or may not have done other unscrupulous things (depends on the plot, the Sniper/Spy one that’s on hold is a “likely a lot happened”. The Medic/Spy one was more a “just the head and the rest was mild, all things considering”)

33. Your shyest OC?

Someone I actually would like to toss around more into RP plots it’s a trans Sniper. Ah Lawrence. Generally not a people person, somehow manages in the Australian Army (mostly a translator, but he did have sniping skills)

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

My trans female Scout, Justine. She just wants to live her life, and wants her uncle Lazare, who adopted her as a niece, to be happy because lord knows he deserves it. (I actively want to write more centering around her. When senior thesis isn’t killing me, I’ll write all the Christmas stuff)

[fhtess]

This week’s 52 Ancestor’s theme allows me to profile another of my great-uncles, William John Paul Ferdinando. He did indeed stay close to home, living with his parents, and then his mother, until 1954 when the latter died.

The only photos I have of him are from his childhood (click individual images to enlarge):

On the right he is sitting beside his sister Hilda, with their mum, Rosanna, behind them. Judging by their ages, I would guess this photo was taken in 1912, when he was two and Hilda was four. Two to three years later, Rosanna posed for another photo with William and his two sisters, Hilda and my grandmother, also Rosanna, who was born in 1902. It’s curious that the three other boys, Cecil (b. 1905), Francis (Frank) (b. 1906), and Arthur (b. 1914) were absent. Perhaps there’s another photo with them in it that I haven’t seen.

Born on March 8, 19101, he was the seventh child for Rosanna (née Lawley) and Frederick Ferdinando. The family was living in Islington in this period, at 314 Hornsey Road.2 As with all their houses, they were close to the railroad, which, for a little boy must have been quite thrilling. I imagine his mother was less thrilled as the dirty air would have made it difficult to dry their clothes outside without accumulating soot, while breathing the foul odours produced by engines belching while they idled at the Hornsey Road Railway Station on the Tottenham & Hampstead Junction Railway, a mere half mile from the house (click image to enlarge).

Within a year of his birth, however, his father was convicted of fraud and sent to Wormwood Scrubs prison where he served six-months of hard labour. Even worse, during his incarceration, his mother gave birth to a girl, Ivy, who died about four months later.3 It must have been a difficult time for the family and a confusing one for a little boy. I know my grandmother, 8 years his senior, was always close to him, so it seems likely she helped care for him while their mother was preoccupied with holding the family together and caring for a baby.

By 1912, with father Frederick home again, the family had returned to the south side of the Thames, moving to Tooting, where William remained for the rest of his life. While only 4 at the outbreak of WWI, he would have experienced at least some of the terror of the bombing raids in the general area and then, later, the fear when his older brother (also named Frederick) went off to fight with the Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire Regiment.4 Their father also served for six months with the 1st Provisional Division of the Royal Engineers in the post-war period, between May and December 1919, for which he received the Silver War Badge.5 War work continued during the demobilization period.

For a few years after the war, life would have been relatively normal for young William, however, in January 1924, his father died,6 leaving his mother a widow at age 47. The 1925 Electoral Roll reveals that his brother Frederick was still at home, so at least there was some stability, and I know that his sister Rosanna was also living there, though both married in July 1926, which would have been a big change. However, his sister Hilda and brothers Frank, Cecil and Arthur remained at home until Frank married (1931) and Cecil, sadly, was admitted to various institutions to treat his mental illness.

When researching family members we’ve never met, it can be so difficult to envision them as real people, rather than names and dates on records. I’ve heard a few family stories about William, however, there’s one incident from his life that no-one told me about, likely because they didn’t know. It gives me an ever better picture of him, one that definitely brings him alive to me. In the mid-1930s, he had a little fun with a milk-wagon, an escapade that made the newspapers. Below is my transcript of one of the articles:

        DROVE HORSE ” FOR  FUN.”

 “I had never driven a horse and van in my life, and wanted to see what it was like.  I did it for fun.”

William John Paul Ferdinando, 26, a clerk, of Elms Road, Clapham, made this excuse at  the South-Western  police court,  Monday, when accused of stealing a horse and a milk van with its contents.

A milk roundsman stated that while he was delivering at North Side, Clapham Common, on Sunday morning, he saw Ferdinando driving the van away.   After going 150 yards, the man jumped off the van and ran down a side street.

Mr. Claud Mullins, the magistrated, dismissed the charge, saying :  “I cannot conceive the theft of a van marked all over with the owner’s name.  I am satisfied that the man had no intention of stealing.7

Further coverage appeared in the Singapore Free Press and Mercantile Advertiser which included another quote from William: “I didn’t intend to steal.”, while it seems Mr. Mullins also informed the court that: “…there is no such charge known to the law as stealing a milk van which is pulled by a horse.”8 

Of course, we have to assume the journalist could possibly have enhanced the details for effect, but even so, both the initial incident and the court case are easy scenes to imagine and I think a part of us can understand how someone might be tempted to do just what he did. Incidentally, the address for William is incorrect, unless, perhaps he had indeed moved out for a short period. Certainly, during the 1930s, he only appeared in the Electoral rolls at the Defoe Road/Garratt Lane (there was a name change in the late 30s) address.9

From the 1939 Register, I received confirmation of the detail of his occupation from the newspaper story (clerk). He and his mother, Rosanna, and younger brother, Arthur, were recorded as living at 912 Garratt Lane (the house didn’t change, only the address), and his occupation is that of “Cashier-Bookkeeper”. The birth date given on his baptismal record is the same in this document, March 8, 1910.10 As Rosanna was not employed and living on whatever money Frederick left in 1924 (I haven’t found a probate record or will) as well as his army pension (26 shillings, 8 pence),11 I imagine the reason William and Arthur didn’t see active service is that they were working to support their mother. There might have been other extenuating circumstances. Their sister Hilda was in Bournemouth at this point, working at a children’s home as a nurse.12

After the war, Hilda returned to London. I know she worked at Gorringes department store and she seemed to sometimes live at home and sometimes elsewhere. Meanwhile, Arthur married Dorothy Horsley in the summer of 1941,13 thus leaving William as the only child at home with their mother who was now in her late 50s. By 1945, Rosanna and William had left the family home and moved to Gosberton Road, not far away. My mother remembers visiting her grandmother and uncle at this location and William remained there till at least 1965, even after Rosanna’s death in 1954.14 It must have been a wrench at first, given that Frederick was buried just down the street at Streatham Cemetery,15 however, as my mum remembers them living in a flat, it’s likely the upkeep was far easier with fewer rooms. With Hilda’s death in 1952,16 it left just the two of them.

912 Garratt Lane (left) and 8 Gosberton Road (right) with map showing the distance between them, copyright GoogleMaps and Google Streetview. (click to enlarge)

William died during the first three months of 1970 and, as his death was registered in Wandsworth,17 I’ve no reason to believe he left Gosberton Road, where he was recorded in the 1965 Electoral Roll.18 I’ve never been clear whether Rosanna, and later William, rented or owned the flat there. Given how comfortable he would have been in that area (the distance between Garratt Lane and Gosberton Road was only 1.7 miles), it seems unlikely he would choose to move so late in his life. Perhaps at some point I will order a paper copy of his death certificate (the pdf versions are only available up to 1957) to find out for sure.

He arrived in Tooting in 1912 when he was two years old and, unlike his brothers and sister, Rosanna, remained there for the next 58 years. It most certainly what he would have identified as “home.” Of course, he would have seen lots of change over the decades, but it’s lovely to note that the two houses he knew best remain standing today. I expect his life was a little lonely after his sister and mother died, though I know my grandmother, Rosanna, visited him from time to time, travelling there from her home in Hampshire. There can be little doubt that throughout his life he was always close to home.

Below is an overview of his life, generated by RootsMagic (click to enlarge):

References

1 Baptisms (PR). England. St. Mark, Tollington Park, Islington. 03 Jul 1910. Ferdinando, William John Paul (b. 08 Mar 1910, s. of Frederick Edward and Rosanna May). Board of Guardian Records and Church of England Parish Registers. London Metropolitan Archives, London; Reference Number: p83/mrk/007. Collection: London, England, Church of England Births and Baptisms, 1813-1917 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/2PXC6X2 : accessed 26 December 2019)

2 Ibid.

Electoral listings. England. Islington North, Islington, London. 1910. Ferdinando, Frederick Edward (314 Hornsey Road). No.: 7523; Page: 268. Electoral Registers. London, England: London Metropolitan Archives. Collection:  London, England, Electoral Registers, 1832-1965 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/2uxwESy : accessed 25 January 2020)

3 Births Index (CR). England. Islington, Middlesex. Q2. 1911. Ferdinando, Ivy H. Vol. 1b; p. 191. General Register Office. Free BMD ; England and Wales Civil Registration Indexes. London, England: General Register Office. Collection: FreeBMD, England & Wales, Civil Registration Birth Index, 1837-1915 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/2Rw3dJQ : accessed 26 January 2020).

Births index (CR). England. Islington, Middlesex. 1911. Q2. Ferdinando, Ivy Helena, mmn: Barlow. Vol: 01B; Page: 191. General Register Office (GRO) Online Index search result. (https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/indexes_search.asp : accessed 26 January 2020)

Burials index. England. Islington, London. 26 Aug 1911. Ferdinando, Ivy Helena. The central database for UK burials and cremations. Deceased Online. Collection: Web: UK, Burial and Cremation Index, 1576-2014 transcription. Ancestry (http://bit.ly/36tXAzY : accessed 26 January 2020.

Burial registers. England. Islington, London. 26 Aug 1911. Ferdinando, Ivy Helena. Burial register summary. Deceased Online (http://bit.ly/37vTHf7 : accessed 28 January 2019)

    4 Service records (army). England. War Office (Great Britain). Medal Rolls Index Cards. Medal Card. Ferdinando, Frederick A. (Private). Corps: Bedfordshire Regiment. Regiment No.: 35147. Army Medal Office; WWI Medal Index Cards; Western Front Association. Collection: British Army WWI Medal Rolls Index Cards, 1914-1920 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/2RuHQsa : accessed 26 December 2019)

5 Service records (army). England. War Office (Great Britain). Roll of Individuals entitledto the “War Badge”, First World War. Medal Roll. Ferdinands [sic], Frederick (Sapper). Unit: 1st Prov. Co. Regiment No.: 607533. The National Archives; Kew, Surrey, England; War Office and Air Ministry: Service Medal and Award Rolls, First World War; Silver War Badge; RG WO 329, 2958–3255; Reference No.: 329. Collection: UK, Silver War Badge Records, 1914-1920 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/2NZr02q : 26 May 2019)

6 Deaths (CR). England. All Souls, St. Marylebone, London. 17 Jan 1924. Ferdinando, Frederick Edward (age 48, Auctioneer’s Clerk). No. 389. Certificate (electronic). Southport, Merseyside: General Register Office. Delivered electronically, 24 Jan 2018.

7 Shepton Mallet Journal. 1936. Drove horse “for fun”. Shepton Mallett Journal. 25 Sep. p. 3e. © Trinity Mirror. Collection: British Newspapers image. FindMyPast (http://bit.ly/2VB7EDC : accessed 11 October 2019)

8 Singapore Free Press and Mercantile Advertiser. 1936. Ferdinando has fun with the Milk Van.The Singapore Free Press and Mercantile Advertiser (1884-1942), 02 Oct. Page: 6e. (http://bit.ly/326m2G8 : accessed 11 Oct 2019)

9 Electoral listings. England. Balham and Tooting and Central, Wandsworth, London. 1935. Ferdinando, William John (75 Defoe Road). No.: 955; Page: 880. Electoral Registers. London, England: London Metropolitan Archives. Collection: London, England, Electoral Registers, 1832-1965 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/36v08Of : accessed 26 January 2020).

10 Census returns. England. Wandsworth Met B, London. 29 Sep 1939. Ferdinando, William J.P. (912 Garratt Lane, Cashier-Bookkeeper). Enumeration district: AXLH; No. of Schedule: 110/2. The National Archives; Kew, London, England; 1939 Register; Reference: RG 101/592H. Collection: 1939 England and Wales Register image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/3aNvNxO : accessed 07 November 2016).

11 Service records. England. War Office (Great Britain). Pension Record Ledger. Ferdinando, Frederick Edward (Regimental No.: 60753, R.E., Sapper) and Ferdinando, Rosanna May (widow, 75 Defoe Road). Western Front Association; London, England; Pension Record Cards; Reference No.: 070/0316/FEN-FER. Collection: UK, WWI Pension Ledgers and Index Cards image. Fold3 (https://www.fold3.com/image/668673844 : accessed 08 November 2019)

Service records. England. War Office (Great Britain). Widow’s Pension. Ferdinando, Frederick Edward (d. 17 Jan 1924, Regimental No.: 60753, R.E., Private) and Ferdinando, Rosanna May (widow, 75 Defoe Road). Western Front Association; London, England; PRC Ledgers; Reference No.: 614/11W. Collection: UK, WWI Pension Ledgers and Index Cards image. Fold3 (https://www.fold3.com/image/645205601 : accessed 27 November 2018)

12 Census returns. England. Bournemouth, Hampshire. 29 Sep 1939. Ferdinando, Hilda M (b. 17 May 1908). RD 94-1; ED EAAO. 1939 Register (Series RG101), The National Archives, Kew, London, England. Collection: 1939 England and Wales Register. Ancestry.ca (https://ancstry.me/2KMgpne : accessed 07 November 2016)

13 Marriages index (CR). England. Worcester. 3Q. 1941. Ferdinando, Arthur G. and Horsley, Dorothy M. Vol.: 6c; Page: 577. England and Wales Civil Registration Indexes. London, England: General Register Office; FEN-FER; Page: 414. Collection: England & Wales, Civil Registration Marriage Index, 1916-2005 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/38KJAU4 : accessed 26 January 2020).

14 Deaths (CR). England. Battersea. 02 Mar 1954. Ferdinendo Rosanna May, (77 years years, of 8 Gosberton Road, Balham Widow of Frederick Edward Ferdinendo Auctioneers Surveyor); registered 03 Mar 1954. No. 24. Death registration certificate (electronic). Southport, Merseyside: General Register Office. Delivered electronically, 30 Dec 2017.

15 Burials (PR). England. Wandsworth, Battersea, Surrey, England. 24 Jan 1924. Ferdinando, Frederick E. (age 48, 75 Defoe Road). Page: 10; Entry No.: 39609. Burial, ,London Metropolitan Archives, England. Collection: England, Surrey Parish Registers, 1536-1992 image. FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QGZP-HXD2); FHL microfilm 1,564,473. Image 14 of 57.

“England, Surrey Parish Registers, 1536-1992,” database, FamilySearch(https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:QGZP-HXD2: 19 April 2018), Frederick Edward Ferdinando, 24 Jan 1924; citing Burial, ,London Metropolitan Archives, England; FHL microfilm 1,564,473. Image 14 of 57.

16 Deaths (CR) England (N.p.: n.p., n.d.), Westminster North West, Westminster. 15 Feb 1952. Ferdinando, Hilda Maude (age 42, House clerk (stores), daughter of Frederick Edward Ferdinendo Auctioneer deceased). No. 72. Certificate (electronic). Southport, Merseyside: General Register Office. Delivered electronically 21 Feb 2019.

17 Deaths index (CR). England. Wandsworth. Q1. 1970. Ferdinando, William John P. (b. 8 Mar 1910). Vol. 5e; Page 1483. General Register Office. England and Wales Civil Registration Indexes. London, England: General Register Office. © Crown copyright. Collection: England & Wales, Civil Registration Death Index, 1916-2007 image. Ancestry.ca (https://ancstry.me/2U25X3i : accessed 26 January 2020)

18 Electoral listings. England. Clapham Constituency, Wandsworth (G.L.C Area). 1965. Ferdinando, William John (8 Gosberton Road). No.: 2196; Page: eleven. Electoral Registers. London, England: London Metropolitan Archives. Collection: London, England, Electoral Registers, 1832-1965 image. Ancestry (https://ancstry.me/2tLLFAo : accessed 26 January 2020).

52 Ancestors...Close to home... #52Ancestors #Ferdinandofamilyhistory #Wandsworthhistory #familyhistory #ancestors #lineage #heritage #femaleancestors #collateralancestors #Londonhistory #Tootinghistory This week's 52 Ancestor's theme allows me to profile another of my great-uncles, William John Paul Ferdinando.

[joneswilliam72]

TNT’s I Am the Night & the Black Dahlia: A true story of Hollywood murder, darkness, & Surrealist art.

For TNT's upcoming mini-series I Am The Night, here is the real story of one of Hollywood's most infamous unsolved murders (which forms a part of I Am the Night's true story) – and its possible connection to Surrealism and Dadaism – the Black Dahlia. Listen to The Deadman’s Tome podcast here for more from me and hosts (the 405’s own) S.K. Berit and co-host Becky Narron as we talk about the case on the 72nd anniversary of Elizabeth Short's murder, Monday January 14 at 10:30 PM EST.

Some images below include very visceral crime scene photos. Read on at your own risk.

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. This is an axiom that often holds true in art and in life, but especially when it comes to some true crime cases. Such is the case with one of Los Angeles’s most compelling unsolved homicides – that of the Black Dahlia, which inspired Brian De Palma’s 2006 movie of the same name, a character on American Horror Story’s first season (portrayed by Mena Suvari), and a lot more in popular culture.

Finding the body – January 15, 1947

January 15, 1947 was a cold morning in the Leimert Park area of South Los Angeles. The area started as a planned community a few years earlier, with housing construction slowed because of WWII and was just starting to come back. Leimert Park was now known mostly for its burgeoning art and literary scene… until something much bleaker would be discovered there on this otherwise dreary and normal winter day.

A young mother named Betty Bersinger was out for a walk with her three-year-old when the pair first walked past something oddly posed maybe 10 feet from the sidewalk. Bersinger at first thought what she caught sight of in her peripheral vision was a mannequin of some kind, tossed aside as junk from some nearby tailor, clothing store, or Hollywood costume shop. Still, something compelled her to walk back and take a closer look.

What she saw would shake her, veteran LAPD homicide investigators, all of Los Angeles, and indeed the world, to the bone. Lying posed (not just dumped) on the side of the sidewalk was a nude dark-haired woman in her early twenties. She had cuts all over her body and had been severed in half at the waist. One breast was cut off. She had been given a "Glasgow smile" when her killer put a sharp implement of some kind in both her cheeks and sliced upward towards her ears.

Her entire body had been drained of blood before being posed and left at this location (as none was on the grass near her) after being tortured for several days – there were rope marks and defensive wounds on her hands, wrists and ankles. No other bodily fluids were detectable because the killer had taken great pains to wash and clean the body

Sidewalk view of where Elizabeth Short's body was found.

Short's body covered by investigators at the crime scene.

Short's torso. The brutality was unparalleled.

Main angle of how the murderer posed Short.

Short's body from the opposite angle.

Identifying the deceased, looking at her history, and beginning the investigation.

It only took LAPD investigators 56 minutes to get identification, after sending the deceased's finger prints to the FBI via an early fax system called "Sound Photo". She was a 22-year-old drifter from Massachusetts named Elizabeth Short. Because of the pictures of Short in black that were sent to the press, and the popularity of George Marshall's 1946 film noir The Blue Dahlia – starring Alan Ladd and Veronica Lake – which was still in many a LA theater at the time, the January 17 edition of The Herald-Express dubbed her "the Black Dahlia."

Short had made her way to the glitz, glamour, and neon dream of Hollywood to – like so many – make it big as an actress in the movies. Her fingerprints were in the FBI's massive (100 million plus) database because she had applied at the Army's Camp Cooke commissary (also in California) four years earlier. Seven months before that, she had also been arrested in Santa Barbara for underage drinking.

Elizabeth Short in life.

Elizabeth Short's funeral.

January 21, 1947 FBI Bulletin looking for information and leads.

Rounding up suspects: look to the doctors.

Elizabeth Short's bisection was a very clean cut (a hemicorporectomy which severs the body under the lumbar spine) and consequently had the FBI and LAPD homicide on the trail of any suspects with medical training, despite the relative scarcity of other leads on the case. To quote an FBI memo from February 25, "The manner in which Elizabeth Short's body was dissected has indicated the possibility that the murderer was a person somewhat experienced in medical work. The Los Angeles Police Department has undertaken to develop suspects among the medical and dental schools in the area, as well as among other students who have anything to do with human anatomy."

Suspect: Robert "Red" Manley.

Robert "Red" Manley.

Despite schools like USC voluntarily handing over records of their medical students, the first suspect brought in for Short's murder, Robert "Red" Manley, had no such training. Manley was the last person seen with Elizabeth Short while she was still alive: he had picked her up in San Diego on January 8, and dropped her off at LA’s Biltmore Hotel on January 9.

Manley suffered from mental illness and went through a few different mental breakdowns – and reportedly was experiencing auditory hallucinations – before being discharged from the army. Manley was, however, released rather quickly after being detained on January 20, because of his solid alibi for January 14, and having passed two polygraph tests.

Suspect: Mark Hansen.

Mark Hansen.

Another two suspects of promise were looked at soon after. Mark Hansen, owner of the Florentine Gardens nightclub in LA, had known Short ever since she first arrived in the city in mid-1943. He had also let her stay in a house he owned with his girlfriend sporadically throughout 1946.

What really tied Hansen to the crime in the minds of investigators was a series of occurrences at the Los Angeles Examiner. On January 23, 8 days after Short's body was discovered, the Examiner received a call alleging it was the killer. He demanded they give better coverage to the crime and ultimately sent a package with Short’s personal effects to the paper. These effects included a planner with "Mark Hansen" inscribed on the front. This call (and subsequent letters), were all from an individual calling himself "the Black Dahlia Avenger."

Hansen later said that indeed this was his planner but he had given it to Short to use and had never used it himself. He had no history of violence or criminality despite some people believing that he did have ties to gangsters (there is no real evidence of that either). At any rate, Hansen died of natural causes in 1964 without any charges ever having been filed against him, despite still technically being a prime suspect to this day.

Suspect: Doctor Patrick S. O'Reilly.

Dr. Patrick S. O'Reilly.

The next of those two suspects was a Doctor Patrick S. O'Reilly who knew Elizabeth Short through frequenting the Florentine Gardens. He also allegedly was a regular with Hansen at posh "sex parties" all over Malibu where he may have also ran into Elizabeth Short. He and Hansen were alleged to have been in "a group of sex degenerates".

What makes O’Reilly interesting as a suspect however was two-fold. First, he had a history of sex crimes under his belt after being arrested for "taking his secretary to a motel and sadistically beating her almost to death apparently for no other reason than to satisfy his sexual desires without intercourse," according to a filing by the District Attorney.

Secondly, O'Reilly had his right pectoral surgically removed, which was very similar to the mutilation of Short. O'Reilly was also married to the daughter of a police captain, and the investigation against him was dropped – this is partly why some have made the assertion of "Dahlia-gate" as an LAPD cover up of the crime, with a Grand Jury report finding, "Deplorable conditions indicating corrupt practices and misconduct by some members of the law enforcement agencies in the county… alarming increase in the number of unsolved murders… jurisdictional disputes and jealousies among law enforcement agencies."

Suspect: Doctor George Hill Hodel, incest, and tapes.

Dr. George Hill Hodel 1949 mugshot after being booked for incest against his 14-year-old daughter Tamar.

The next most solid suspect (and our main focus here) got on the investigative radar in a rather bizarre way. A LA area gynecologist who specialized in the treatment of veneral disease named Doctor George Hill Hodel (played by Jefferson Mays in I Am The Night) was accused of molesting his 14 year-old daughter Tamar in 1949 (Fauna Hodel, played by India Eisley in the show, was Tamar’s daughter from this incestuous relationship). The state had 3 witnesses who testified they had seen the doctor having sex with her, yet charges were dropped in December of that year.

The incest case against Hodel is what gave LAPD the impetus to look closer at him as a suspect in the Black Dahlia case. They put Hodel on surveillance and tapped his phones from February to March of 1950 in the hopes of catching the doctor in some sort of incriminating statement on the case. 18 detectives monitored the recording day in and day out (the full transcripts can be read here for free).

On just the second day at 8:25 PM the recording picked up: "Woman screamed. Woman screamed again. (It should be noted, the woman not heard before the scream.)"

Later that same night, Hodel can be heard talking to someone else: "Realize there was nothing I could do, put a pillow over her head and cover her with a blanket. Get a taxi. Expired 12:59. They thought there was something fishy. Anyway, now they may have figured it out. Killed her."

Hodel's most incriminating statement was after both of these, where he said to someone else: "Supposin' I did kill the Black Dahlia. They couldn't prove it now. They can't talk to my secretary any more because she's dead."

The secretary he is referring to was Ruth Spaulding who died from a drug overdose in 1945. Hodel was suspected of Spaulding's murder too because he had been present when she died and had even burnt some of her personal effects before the police arrived. The government ultimately dropped the case because of lack of evidence.

Documents were later unearthed which showed that Spaulding was intent on blackmailing Doctor Hodel for fraud against his patients, which included intentional misdiagnosis, and fraudulent tests, treatments, and even prescription medications.

Steve Hodel and "The Black Dahlia Avenger".

It is Doctor Hodel's son, former LAPD homicide detective turned private investigator and author Steve Hodel, who believes that Elizabeth Short may have been a patient of his father's. The younger Hodel has written several books (the most famous of which is "Black Dahlia Avenger" published 4 years after his dad's death in 1999) which point the finger at his father for Short's murder.

There are other historical tidbits which tie Doctor Hodel to Elizabeth Short in other ways. A February 20, 1951 Grand Jury report authored by Lieutenant Frank Jemison of the LA District Attorney's Office, contains testimony from a Lillian DeNorak who lived with Doctor Hodel and identified Elizabeth Short as "one of his girlfriends" and that Doctor Hodel was known to frequent the Biltmore Hotel.

LAPD also found a photograph of a nude Elizabeth Short in a private stash of photos amongst George Hodel's personal items. They tracked down a model from another photo in this collection who said she did not know of any connection between Short and Hodel. Yet another person who knew both the doctor and Elizabeth Short said he also knew nothing of them knowing each other.

Steve Hodel claims these photos are Elizabeth Short. They were found in his father’s effects.

The report also quotes Tamar Hodel as saying her mother Dorothy had told her that her father had "been out partying" the night of January 14, 1947 and that "they'll never be able to prove I did that murder."

The Black Dahlia, Dadaism and Surrealism.

André Masson. “Mannequin”. Original negative 1938. 18.3 x 13.8 cm. The Getty Museum.

Man Ray. “Noir et Blanche”. Photograph appearing in French Vogue, 1926. Model Kiki de Montparnasse.

A more speculative – yet very interesting – connection between Doctor George Hodel and the Black Dahlia is Surrealist and Dadaist visual art. Mark Nelson and Sarah Hudson Bayliss wrote a fantastic and very-telling book called "Exquisite Corpse: Surrealism and the Black Dahlia Murder" which gets into quite a bit of detail on that. I encourage anyone reading this who is interested to check their book out in addition to Steve Hodel’s books.

Exquisite Corpse was a favorite game of Surrealist visual artists (and sometimes writers with the written variant). In it, a sheet of paper would be folded several times, one person would start the drawing on one part of the fold then fold over to a new section where someone else would draw another part and so on until the page was full. The goal here is to channel the forces of psychological free association into visual art (like much of Surrealism). See an example of exquisite corpse below.

A game of Exquisite Corpse hanging at the Dali Museum.

Steve Hodel also gets into some detail here. His family knew artist Man Ray exceptionally well. He became their family photographer in the early 1940's when he arrived in LA and stayed in that capacity until he returned to Paris in 1947.

This is not to say Man Ray or any other surrealist artist was a participant in any criminality by George Hodel, but there can be no doubt luminaries like him, Dali, and Marcel Duchamp influenced Hodel's (or whoever the murderer may be) aesthetics, as warped as they may have been – a point which will be elaborated on below. In fact, Steve Hodel points this out rather explicitly in looking at Man Ray's 1969 lithograph "Les Invendables". "Les Invendables" may have been inspired by the Dahlia.

Man Ray. “Les Invendables.” 1969. Lithograph.

The killer was an artist and Elizabeth Short was his most macabre canvas. Steve Hodel even went so far as to say the killer was expressly influenced by the Surrealist and Dadaist manifestoes in what he did.

The first relevant bit of physical evidence to this interpretation – beyond Short's body being essentially artistically posed – is the fact that she was bisected. Bisected women and female mannequins – along with women missing various parts à la the Venus de Milo – are a huge theme in Surrealist work of that period, because the theme of divided complexity is what makes us human. We're all a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Surrealism taught that that is the essential beauty of humanity.

Man Ray. “Venus Restauree.” 1936. Gelatin silver print. 16.5 x 11.4 cm. The Getty.

Marcel Duchamp. “Nude Descending a Staircase.” 1912. Oil on canvas. 57 7/8 x 35 1/8 in.

The magazine of record for Surrealism in this period was also called "Le Minotaure", named after the mythic beast that is half man and half bull. Short’s posing was very much in the fashion of the minotaur as can be seen below, along with Man Ray's "Les Amoureux" which Hodel believes was the work his allegedly murderous father plagiarized when he murdered Elizabeth Short.

A further point of order with the Surrealist/Dadaist hypothesis involves a relatively small wound on Short's right hip which Steve Hodel believes shows a visual artist's cross-hatching – a technique of drawing fine parallel hatch lines which are perpendicular to each other (creating a mesh-like pattern) on a drawing for an illusion of texture or shade. Hodel believes this cross-hatch-esque wound was meant to act as a literal signature (as opposed to a killer's signature), much as an artist signs a painting.

Minotaure issue 7. 1935.

Man Ray. “A l'heure de l'observatoire: les amoureux.” Offset lithograph.

Stabbing wound on Elizabeth Short’s right hip. It does look like artist cross-hatching.

Dr. George Hodel and other murders.

Steve Hodel is confident that his father (Short’s murderer) was indeed a serial killer linked to other murders in California, Chicago, and even in Manila (where he fled the US for) – all of which were dissected and posed in a fashion eerily similar to Elizabeth Short. LA's 1947 "Lipstick Murder" is also a possibility as a tie-in to the Dahlia.

The Chicago case.

Interestingly, George Hodel may be connected to more unsolved serial homicides across California than just these. The woman who was dissected in the Philippines 1967 was dumped on a street called "Zodiac". Steve Hodel took this as a clue, telling the Guardian, "I thought, no, no, no, there's no way… I had spent all of this time and effort and blood, sweat and tears establishing my credibility in Black Dahlia. And now this guy's saying his dad is also the Zodiac? It's like, oh man."

Conclusion.

Of course, all this is basically conjecture as it will be impossible to ever know unequivocally who killed Elizabeth Short (or the victims of the Zodiac Killer). Yet, that does not detract from the essence of this story as a mystery – in fact, it enhances it. Yet, nothing could possibly detract from the inhumanities vested on Elizabeth Short and all the victims. All we can do there is never forget the case and her.

  Don't forget to catch The Deadman's Tome podcast here on January 14 at 10:30PM Eastern Time for more discussion on the Black Dahlia with myself, The 405's S.K. Berit and co-host Becky Narron. Follow me @HaubrichNoir and @skberit on Twitter to tweet questions and observations at us live during the show.

And Don't miss I Am the Night either – starting January 28 on TNT.

from The 405 http://bit.ly/2sqpTxw

[vita-e]

My MPHFPC Movie Notes

Love the opening credits, fits spirit and theme of the book

(music in general is good)

Hate the different opening line – rather generic imo.

Asa please I know you’re a good actor. Please stop being so flat.

“Jake”

This all feels rushed.

Grandpa has lost his marbles and his acting ability.

“That guy gave me the heebie-jeebies” is all you have to say after nearly hitting a man?

“Jake” was in the house for only 10 seconds, didn’t even bother checking the whole house.

This opening is so boring that my foot fell asleep.

Was this the first take? There’s little to no emotion.

Grandpa Portman doesn’t sound like he’s dying. At all.

1943?! What’s the point of changing the date?!

Also, what’s the point of changing his last words which were a lot more mysterious?

C’mon dude, your grandpa just died! Show some emotion!!

Why do the hollows look like Slenderman rip-offs?

Dr. Golan’s a woman? I’m fine with this – but I won’t be later.

“A month ago,”? Wasn’t it more than a few months until he finally sought help? (I haven’t read the book in a while)

Asa is still a bit flat but he’s doing better in these scenes.

Tiny Jacob is super cute!

His acting is bad, though. This is a given for child actors.

The dad is an ornithologist. He wouldn’t change a bird documentary to a football game (although that was a bit funny.)

Why does Miss Peregrine look so young? In the book, she looks more like a mother waiting for her children to give her some goddamn grandkids.

Bronwyn is 9 now I guess.

Hugh is 11 now I guess.

“Where’s Emma? She could float.” SHE COULD NOT.

Grandpa Portman sounds more English than Polish. Throwing in a Polish nickname doesn’t convince me that he’s Polish.

“Little tiger”? He called him “Yakob.”

“No eyes,” in the book, Jacob tells a sketch artist that they have 2 like a normal mammal. This may be personal taste, but for me, monsters are scarier when they look more human.

Kids this age wouldn’t laugh! They’d see the picture of Millard and go “Holy shit! He’s invisible!” Kids are gullible, dammit. (I had this problem with the book as well.)

Funny how younger!Jacob dresses exactly like Asa.

Damn, kid, he said he didn’t want to talk about it! Chill!

Still 0 emotion, I guess.

“He was a wonderful grandpa, but not… such a great dad, you know?” Damn, that hits home for me – but doesn’t this talk happen later in the book? Like, this talk happens at the island.

Wait, the scene just ends there? No argument? Damn, Jake just doesn’t care that his dad is smack talking his idol.

JESUS fuckin’ twins.

Jacob’s cousins were brats and I believe teenagers as well, so why are they perfect lil’ angel twins that look 10 at the oldest?

Also, why is Jacob’s house so small? His mom is an heiress to a Wal-Mart type store-chain.

Cairnholm is apparently popular enough to warrant postcards.

And popular enough to warrant a spot in a travel book, wtf? It’s not even big enough to be seen on a map.

The dad looking at Jake like he’s crazy gives me life lmfao.

Cairnholm is 100% my aesthetic.

Where’s Kev???

What? But… Uncle Oggie is a relative of Martin?

Didn’t imagine Kev looking like that but okay.

Franklin is me trying to make friends tbh.

I’m so glad Worm and M.C. Dirty D made it in.

Aren’t the residents like… a bit afraid of the home themselves?

Aesthetic™

Wait, what? Oggie can see? He looks blind.

1943? At that point, Germany was taking a more defensive stance, doing lots of evacuating.

“And they were lovely, too.” In the book, Uncle Oggie claims they were strange and rarely spoke.

“3 months later”? He left the day after the loop was created!

Is that the dart competition I keep seeing on Vine?

Wait, why is Enoch there? I know they fucked with his character a lot but he probably joined after the loop was created since he’s from an older loop, otherwise he’d age forward ~30-40 years – so why is he next to (who I presume is) Abe, who left after the loop was made? (or in this case, before!)

Enoch’s little laboratory was in the basement, not upstairs.

The twins might’ve been in the loop at some point, but they certainly aren’t there when Jacob arrives.

Wait, so instead of chasing after them, he runs away? Jake’s a pussy.

And he trips and gets knocked unconscious by a rock. Wow.

Bronwyn, despite being the wrong age and having no personality, is at least cute and it’s fun to watch her carry Jake.

Why is Millard so tiny? You can say that his age is ambiguous, but in the book Jacob clearly states that his voice sounds like that of a young man’s, not a young child’s.

“You’re Emma!” (John Cena voice) Are you sure about that?

Why is Olive, like, 16? She’s supposed to be 7-9 years old (and ofc she has Emma’s powers instead.)

“She sent us to get you”? Why, though?

Standing there all creepy ain’t gonna make him want to follow you.

Jake doesn’t seem to see the change in the weather.

“I am the manager” reminds me of that one Tumblr comic.

Ngl, Millard would do this – if just for fun. He’s a little shit like that.

What’s the point of lighting the place on fire? They’re distracted enough.

Did they just steal someone’s horse?

Millard no longer has any personality out of “Yeah” and “Yep.”

Emma is not nearly bitchy enough. Or at all.

The house is gorgeous! It looks just like I imagined it!

What the fuck, why is Miss Peregrine so young? I know I mentioned this before but what the fuck.

“Right on time”?

“I had to kill them twice this month” WHAT. MISS PEREGRINE DOESN’T KILL UNLESS NECESSARY

Miss Peregrine is not nearly this creepy in the book.

THAT’S NOT ENOCH.

Why does he sound mildly Scottish? He’s from London and has a slight cockney accent.

From now own, every time I see Enoch, 5 years are taken off my life.

Why is Fiona 11 and English? She’s supposed to be in her late teens and Irish – not to mention, SHE DOESN’T TALK!

I don’t think Fiona’s powers make things huge.

“Imm-breen” it’s “imm-brinn”

Do the twins have names?

Claire looks cute!

I don’t think Millard, no matter his age, would be very interested in physical activity. He’s a brains over brawn kind of type, you know?

Kind of uncharacteristic of Hugh to send his bees after a friend.

I’m gonna cry. At least one of my babies looks right.

Horace feels… off. All the components of his personality are certainly there, but in different degrees than in the book.

I’m sorry, what? A daily chore that’s reset by the loop? Miss P, these are kids and teenagers! They’ll get bored of doing that every day! I know because I am a teenager!

That squirrel would be going crazy and scratching her up. I know this is a nitpick but squirrels are vicious, man.

Was this scene the only reason they swapped Emma and Olive’s peculiarities?

Why are her shoes so hard to take off? What if she has to get away in an emergency? She’s fucked!

Why’s it so hard to pull her down?

Emma doesn’t seem to heartbroken over Abe’s death. In the book, she bawled upon overhearing that he died.

This dialogue barely hints at Emma and Abe having a romantic relationship, making only people who read the book know this information. Non-book readers might just assume they were close friends.

Of course, instead of borrowing Victor’s clothes he has to borrow Abe’s.

God, am I the only one that hates looking at Finlay? He’s not ugly – a bit handsome actually! -- he’s just… kind of weird looking.

So… Olive is good friends with Enoch? Don’t get how they got that out of the book when they have no interactions in the first book.

His dolls are meant to be made of clay! Now he just looks like an older Sid.

The stop motion is terrible.

So, they care enough about Enoch’s character to remember that his parents ran a funeral parlor, but not enough to make him his actual character.

Did he not see Millard’s silverware moving? Did no one see it?

So, Enoch is clearly mad at the statement Horace made, so why hold back your retort by whispering? Was he sick on this day of filming?

No one needs that much carrot.

Hugh’s been living there for 70 years; pretty sure he’d never forget to put his net on.

Wait, so he remembered to bring it with him, but not to put it on?

S L U R M P

“She’s embarrassed in front of Jake.” Uh, Hugh, I think you flubbed your line, it’s “Claire don’t eat with the rest of us.”

Oh, thank god, she has the same peculiarity.

I’m crying, Claire is so adorable!

Enoch’s a bigger asshole than I remember him being in the books.

Although it wasn’t in the book, I do like the inclusion of the call from Abe. It makes no sense whatsoever, but I still like it.

Would Horace really be comfortable sharing his dreams – especially via projector?

“Some of his dreams are prophetic,” shouldn’t ‘some’ be ‘most’? Everyone’s dreams can hold some form of future-telling, albeit in an abstract way. If only some of his dreams are prophetic, that barely makes him peculiar.

I don’t get why Horace’s dreams are at all symbolic. They should be literal.

Why did he see Ms. Avocet get kidnapped when she, in fact, didn’t?

“Horace must’ve just had a bad dream, that’s all.” HIS DREAMS ARE PROPHETIC.

Wait, so they have a phonograph outside? And it works?

Why make Miss P creepier, but tone down the creepiness of the reset scene? Think of it: 9 children you barely know wearing gasmasks are singing an old song you don’t know to the tune of bombs falling. That’s a lot scarier than listening to the song on a phonograph.

I just remembered: they never offered the reason why Cairnholm gets bombed. In the book, it’s stated that the island had a sort of anti-aircraft gun which made it a target, but here the Germans simply bomb it to be seen as more evil than they already are.

I do admit, the reset scene does look beautiful.

Jake doesn’t seem as terrified, though.

Emma learning about cellphones is pretty cute.

And we’re back to talking about Abe.

“More than a few minutes,” it’s closer to hours, days even if we’re going by Library of Souls.

Already with Ms. Avocet?

(Cinema Sins voice) Jake’s dad reminds me too much of my own father in this scene.

Okay, so I’m assuming “Mr. Barron” is some wight higher-up? I know he’s not, but for the sake of the notes let’s pretend I don’t know.

Man, he really is my dad. He acts all weird and pretends like nothing happened later.

Who dresses like that in the 21st century!? I like the aesthetic too, but you don’t see me walking around in a Rococo period dress.

No one talks like this either.

That fuckin’ dart competition’s going to get me every time.

Who the fuck rests on their bed with their shoes on?

Bronwyn is cute but… I can’t get over the fact they made her younger and erased her character.

Would it kill someone to say, “Can we try that take again?”

WHY did they make Miss Peregrine so creepy? She was never this creepy!

Yeah, and he’s trying to warn you of potential danger. Also, can I ask where the fuck he got that letter?

Every time I see Finlay’s face a deep hatred resurfaces from the darkest corners of my heart.

All the kids in that room together just chilling is cute.

OKAY THIS IS WHAT PISSES ME OFF. I know for a damn fact that Enoch would never be mean to someone who was kind to him.

In the book, Bronwyn wanted nothing more than for Enoch to wake up Victor but go off I guess.

According to the timeline, HE SHOULD BARELY KNOW ABE.

That’s not how he brings them back to life, though? It’s not like he’s doing heart surgery, it’s more like he’s just gonna smell like death (literally) for most of the day.

Enoch being there as Jake realizes Victor’s dead really takes out a lot of the punch from the scene. Having him show up afterwards (like in the book) is better since it’s more like ‘Realization -> Confrontation’ instead of just… explaining and scaring.

I don’t know if Tim’s ever been around a normal human being before but usually you don’t see their heartbeat.

Okay, so… he can’t bring people back to life, only use them as puppets. First off, that’s gross, and second, that’s a nearly useless peculiarity.

How can tears roll down Victor’s cheek if he’s never conscious anymore? Dead people are known to shed tears, but it’s after they die and are decomposing, and Victor can’t decompose because he’s in a loop!

Does Miss P just do that on a regular basis?

Wasn’t that a rowboat?

That’s carbon dioxide, you can’t breathe that.

How is she swimming? Wouldn’t she just walk? She has lead shoes on!

I don’t think skeletons keep their hair.

Well how the hell does that work?

“Air, it’s my peculiarity.” No, it is not.

I’d rather trust a bunch of information I don’t want the people I love knowing with an adult, but okay.

Wait, so Emma has the Map of Days now?! It was stressed countless times in the trilogy how much Millard loves that damn thing and you give it to EMMA?!

Okay, WHAT? Barron is the leader now!? I guess Miss Peregrine’s brothers just don’t exist now!

“Bad peculiars”? They’re ex-peculiars, because they don’t have powers anymore!

They took the kids, too, you know.

Wait, while they’re at it, didn’t this conversation take place at night?

Just tell him how Abe could see monsters, then he’ll believe. No need to be dramatic.

Hollowgasts sure as fuck would not loop along with the townspeople, they’d be free to roam around or they’d get left behind. Also, Victor died AFTER the loop was made! He got tired of living there and tried to leave and died THIS IS SUCH A SIMPLE STORY TIM.

Did I mention that I hate how the hollowgasts look?

You could have told him earlier but okay.

I don’t remember any of this from the book.

“Tired of living in loops.” Caul was tired of peculiardom being a ‘matriarchy.’ Yes, there were some problems with how peculiar boys who could turn into birds were treated but overall Caul was crazy and narcissistic.

I guess there are only 13 wights, opposed to hundreds or even thousands.

Also, why are they all upper-class? I’d assume a lot would be lower.

Didn’t they also blow up half of Siberia?

EYEBALLS? It’s from consuming their souls! I guess Tim just wanted to put in some ugly ass imagery.

Wait, why are they still eating? They’re fine now!

Almost forgot Millard was in this fucking movie.

But they weren’t even going to try it again! It was a ploy! And why hold it where a normal person could find it!?

This ‘leaving’ bullshit pisses me off because it’s breaking so many fucking rules. Hollows can’t enter loops so leaving is more dangerous than staying, which is what she chose to do in the book!

Claire is so cute.

Makes a bit more sense that an old blind man on his own died than a healthy, (I’m assuming) mid-age museum curator but okay.

This is probably the dumbest thing Jake has ever done. Surely, he knows that normal people can go in, but that they can’t enter through the loop, right? And he could potentially also be a danger, so why call out to him?

This reveal isn’t nearly as powerful as the one in the book. By doing his other voices from previous identities he’d taken before to watch over Jacob, he intimidated him and by finally revealing himself as Dr. Golan, he immediately made the one normal person that Jacob felt a bit safe around a danger and in that moment, he realizes what he had done by telling him everything.

Okay, here’s why I’m pissed they made Dr. Golan a woman. Reason 1 is because it shows that Tim wanted to make the wights really overpowered by letting them keep their peculiarites, and reason 2 (separate of reason 1) is because they didn’t make the rest of their identities women. Like just make a lady ornithologist and have her be a peculiar who can turn into a bird but can’t control time, making her feel self-worth incredibly low and hate ymbrynes. It took me a minute to think this up, Tim.

That’s not how you take off contacts.

Did this fucker really think he could take on an adult?

Hollowgasts can’t enter loops but okay.

This is a bit of a nitpick but the fact that Jake was used as a hostage instead of Hugh just shows how much they didn’t give a shit about the other kids unless they had a relationship cookin’ for them.

So, she has a crossbow, but she’ll just go down without a fight? That’s not like her at all!

This is NOT the time to be petty, Wal-Mart brand Enoch.

I just realized that Horace has like 4 lines and now I’m sad.

I would be so happy that instead of turning into a bird and leaving that Miss Peregrine just fucking decked him. It’s a lot more in character than just letting them take her.

I don’t remember Miss Peregrine trusting a 16-year-old with the lives of 9 kids but okay.

One of the few good things this movie brought me was a peregrine falcon sound so I could look it up and see if it was accurate. I then found a video of a sweet old man filming a peregrine falcon’s call and providing quiet commentary. Just felt that was worth mentioning.

Since when did Jacob become good at strategy?

Cute scene, but it means nothing to me.

Okay I guess Miss Avocet never mattered.

Just destroy Wal-Mart brand Enoch, please.

Why does Fiona have the most lines out of the neglected kids? She only had 2 lines in the whole book!

That bomb would be enough to take care of it, but okay go ahead and shoot it.

Olive seems pretty in-control of her peculiarity, so why give her gloves?

“It’s only 6 months old.” What?

Time travel is bullshit. Also, I don’t think it works like that?

“I know you’ll choose Abe.” Well, duh, I’d rather see my grandfather again than some cute girl I met a few days ago that barely even seems to like me that well.

Okay, so the movie I’m watching is really choppy and cuts at random parts and it just cut in the middle of a sentence Wal-Mart brand Enoch was saying and I couldn’t be happier.

Yeah, but the loop entrances are usually in places normal people won’t go. (ex. Miss P’s loop entrance, Miss Thrush’s loop entrance, etc.) Seems dumb to put it on a ride. Imagine sending your kids on there and when the cart comes back one of them is missing?

Okay, so there’s only 4 hollows and 6 wights left according to the movie. Why are they all so afraid of them then?!

In the book, a lot of them were trained to handle guns, and in the movie they still have their peculiarities – so WHY are they not attacking Emma as soon as they see her!?

I’m pretty sure that in the book Jacob had been seeing Dr. Golan much longer than 3 weeks.

Yeah, Florida’s a hellhole, to be quite honest.

I guess no one cares about a floating girl in the sky. I don’t see any iPhone’s out recording.

Never mind, I see one (1). I should see much more, though.

How would the hearts stay in the skeletons? There’s nothing for them to hold onto.

Is there no staff at this place?

How are these skeletons in general staying together?

This fight is pretty dangerous. They’re exposing normal people to peculiardom.

Okay, so now the wights use their peculiarities to fight.

Horace saved lives at least 3 times but I guess he’s just useless now according to the movie.

Man, Tim, you sure did a good job of creating strong female characters! /s

How is Mr. Barron not dead? She lifted the boat out of water and the closer you get to the bottom of the ocean the more pressure you’ve gotta deal with.

3 cheers for this forced romance! Hip-hip! (Boo)

This 16-year-old doesn’t need to tell these women what to do.

Why is Miss Peregrine in a different cage?

I guess Barron just had some blue eye contacts on him.

How did the hollow get down there?

I guess Jake’s a perfect shot now, since it’s convenient.

(vomit noises)

Again, time travel is bullshit. Wouldn’t there be another Jake walking around?

Wait, they’re still there?

Hurray for more terrible loop entrances!

In the book, this would be the second time they had kissed but okay.

Never knew that birds could just be stationary while in the sky.

Wait, so she just… keeps her clothes? Trust me, I don’t want to see a naked woman in something other than an art piece or otherwise but that was a rule that they had in the book.

Well that was a load of shit. At least with the ending there can’t be a sequel.