#i also asked her to be a little more direct in explaining why she does/doesn't want certain things done

[shigussy]

my manager apologised to me today for being rude she was stressed out bc of her other job

[mythicmanuscripts]

Okay, you KNOW sub!aegon has to be the type that just can’t get close enough to you when cuddling. He’s whining and basically just wants to be in your skin.

You are so right for this anon, so right.

NSFW sub!aegon below the cut!

So at first Aegon is almost skittish around you. Alicent definitely used to reprimand him for seeking comfort from her? He'd ask for a hug and she would scoff at him, telling him he's going to be king one day and then he won't be able to come running back to his mother when he's had a bad day.

Because of this, he certainly doesn't ask you for hugs or attention when you first get married. I think maybe where it changes is after he's had a very bad day? You can see how upset he is and rather than asking him what happened, you instead just pull him into a hug. For a brief moment he's stiff, and then he relaxes against you and before long he's gripping you tight and crying against your shoulder. There's something about the way you immediately offered him comfort that just completely broke him.

He's SO clingy for the rest of that day, like if he let go of you then you'd never let him come this close again. He actually starts crying again when you get up to fetch some water. You reassure him that you'll be right back, and the moment you return he's pulling you back onto the bed and hiding against your shoulder.

The next morning you don't let him get up until he's spoken to you and explained why he seemed to distressed at you letting go when he never seemed to want touch before. That's when he finally admits that he does like it, and he also tells you about how Alicent used to react to him requesting attention. It breaks your heart, and you promise him that you'd never turn him down.

Slowly but surely he starts to get clingier, and pretty soon he's whiny and demanding, refusing to let you go and pouting at you when you can't cuddle with him immediately.

Some nights he'll be laying on top of you, his head on your chest and he can't stop whining and squirming. You try to hold him a little tighter to see if that calms him but he doesn't.

When you direct his head up and ask what's wrong, he just mumbles about wanting to be closer to you. You laugh at that response, pointing out to him that he is literally on top of you. He just whines again and paws at your chest.

Then you get an idea.

You sit up and pull your sleep shirt off you before pulling Aegon back down against your chest. Aegon nuzzles against your bare skin, resting his head directly on your chest and then he's very very happy.

After you've done that once, Aegon always wants it. Sometimes he'll even duck his head under your shirt as opposed to asking you to remove it because then he feels even safer and more protected.

So yeah, he definitely wants to be as close as possible.

[zoloteh-volossya]

Minthy and Trust

One of the interesting things about the evil endings from patch 7 is how surprised Minthara is if you enthrall her with the Brain or murder her as a Dark Urge who embraced Bhaal. I've talked a little bit about it before here, but a conversation with @alicelufenia that resulted from that post got me thinking.

Minthara grew up in a culture where backstabbing is pretty much de rigueur. She has spent at least two centuries living and loving in a city where she could not trust anybody, and where lovers and family alike may try and betray or murder her at any given moment. It's implied that she's survived multiple such attempts. Why, then, does she put such complete and total trust in you? Shouldn't she be more wary?

Part of it could be her faith - or rather, the gaping hole where her faith once was. She was completely devoted to Lolth until she encountered the Absolute, and while her faith in the Absolute was forced I think the habits we see - her prayer after her romance scene, for instance - are genuine. After Moonrise, she has lost two faiths in rapid succession. I think she'd done with gods for good, but still wants - almost reflexively - something or someone to believe in. Lolth's favor is described in some D&D novels as being able to feel her love, however fleetingly. I think a partner whose acceptance and affection she can actually feel goes a long way to filling that sudden void in her life. (I also feel like she does best with direction, that fundamentally to some extent she is a follower and not a leader. A partner provides the support she prefers in this sort of context; she can essentially make them her purpose. But this is more of a headcanon and not as strongly textually supported so I will not actually argue it. Feel free to disagree.)

Part of it could also be her loneliness. Minthara is clearly an introvert but all people need social contact of some sort. Back in Menzoberranzan, she would have been enmeshed in a strict social sphere that would have provided both regular opportunities for social engagement and rules for how to go about it. Minthy obviously feels very defined by her (former) social station - per her act 2 romance scene she doesn't know who she is without it - and laments the loss of the structure of her former life. On the surface, she thinks (incorrectly) that no one likes her, and she lacks the status and strict rules of behavior that once shielded her. She has nothing and no one... until the protagonist comes along. Once in a relationship with them, it feels like Minthara is almost trying to make them the entirety of her social life (which is hella unhealthy, girl). We see this the most in the evil endings, where she is fine with the loss of all the companions so long as she and the protagonist are together.

But my above two paragraphs explain why Minthy would want to trust the protagonist (a want, a burning driving need, a drowning woman grasping a rope, desperation making her overlook warning signs and red flags), not why she actually does. I think the answer to that can probably be found in her act 2 romance scene. She asks to see the protagonist's mind in their entirety and uses it to verify the protagonist's opinion of her. This is something she never was able to do in Menzoberranzan. For once in her life, she (thinks she) is able to confirm that this lover is safe, that she can completely unabashedly trust them. And so she does - she throws herself into it completely and utterly, as she does everything she sets herself to. It never occurs to her that this might be a false assurance, that her partner could change or be less devoted in their affections than she is. She checked; it's safe.

Until it isn't.

[littleliterarylesbian]

Dear James,

I know I shouldn't be writing to you again. Every letter I've sent is, what I imagine, tossed away or burnt to ashes. You bought a hawk last month to deter my letters. My owl is lucky to have made it back with the damages she had. I'm promising her extra treats and love to send this one. And that this will be the last.

Harry is almost old enough to go to Beauxbatons. I don't know how I feel about it, he'll have more freedom, but I'll also be alone. I don't think I've been truly alone since you left me. And that only lasted a short time as I had Harry.

Speaking of Harry, he's stopped asking about you. I get the feeling he no longer wants to know of the man who hurt me, the man who shares his face. I've explained, many a times, that our fall out was my fault, that I had made the mistake. Harry says that I've fixed that mistake now that Voldemort was strung up and burned in front of the Ministry of Magic building. However, I don't know how to explain that I do not wish to walk back into your life like nothing has happened. That I will wait until you give me the word.

I think that time has already passed however. You've always fallen in love easily, I'm sure you have a wife and maybe more children now than just Harry. I would be surprised if you haven't. As for me, as one can tell from the letters that I used to send you once a week, now once a month, I have not. Black blood runs through my body and soul, and it sings for you, like it always will. It is the way of The Ancient and Noble House of Black, we fall in love once and never again.

I hope Harry doesn't feel that way when he's older. It hurts, falling in love does, I'd hate to see my son hurt.

I think about how you look now that you're older, I would assume you have smile lines and crows feet by now, and maybe your wife has made your hair a little more manageable unlike how I always made it my goal to make it the worst it can be. I have changed through the passage of time as well, obviously. I no longer see my ribs through my skin, you always worried about that so maybe that would be nice to hear. My hair is much shorter, I finally understand why Sirius is so protective of his own, if I had to go back to hair so long It touched my thighs I think I would grow crazy. I believe I finally got the scared look out of my eyes along with the weight off my chest. I'm the man I was meant to be now.

As always, I hope Sirius and Lupin have finally gotten their act together. I never received a wedding invitation but it's also been over ten years, so I will never know. As always , attached is a current picture of Harry, he's so big now, I still remember carrying him, and waking up at three am to his cries, but now he's almost getting his letter. As always you just have to reply with three words that you would whisper to me every time we met and every time we left one another for the time being. Different however, is the one word needed for me to stop sending these letters. I won't breathe another breath in your direction anymore. You won't need to say a peep for me to stop now.

R.A.B

Regulus Arcturus Black

| part 2 part 3

[suzukiblu]

Ko-fi thank-you sentences for @qwertynerd97, cat, and Necer0s; the wet nurse omegaverse.

"Here, let’s just set up on the coffee table, why don’t we," Bruce says, pushing the scant few knick-knacks and books on it down to the far end and sparing a last calculating glance for Carl, who has a hand on both Lor and Jon’s backs and is petting them both with heavy, steady strokes as he goes back to that low and rumbling purring. Jon is visibly melting into him; Lor is already functionally a liquid. 

Bruce is still a little concerned that Lor might have difficulty digesting human milk, but all things considered, this seems to be going unexpectedly well. Apparently the list of prioritized nutrients he sent over to all those agencies is finally paying off. 

Carl keeps purring like a very quiet engine and clearly doesn't care about anyone else in the room at all, including Tim and Damian. Tim looks a little relieved by that, for some reason; Damian just looks irritated. Bruce doubts he'd ever want to nurse from a wet nurse, considering, but not being offered the opportunity probably still feels like an insult to him. Still, he's not in Lor's pack, never mind his and Jon's not-quite-formed pack bonds that everyone else has been politely not mentioning in order to avoid making a thing. It's normal for pups to try and pack up with their friends, especially when they're particularly close ones, even if said packing up doesn't always succeed or pan out in the long term. 

It's just not normal for Damian, so again, they've all been avoiding mentioning it just yet. 

“Yes, of course, Alpha Wayne,” Travers says stiffly, setting out her paperwork on the coffee table in a tidy, easy-access arrangement. She's more than a little questionable as a chaperone, but at least she's efficient, Bruce supposes, which means her personal files should be easy enough to investigate when he asks Barbara to break into them. “The contract is the standard setup, but of course we can go over it as thoroughly as you’d like. Er–well, actually, if you’d like Carly to do direct nursing, it’ll be the A contract, not the B, but I have copies of that too.” 

Small favors, Bruce thinks. Saves waiting for the office to email or fax it over, at least. 

“Sounds good,” he says, leaning over the coffee table to glance at the papers she’s laying out. “Alright to take a look, Clark?” 

“That’s fine, yes,” Clark says, flicking his eyes away from Jon and Lor and Carl and putting on a pleasant smile as he steps up beside Bruce and looks down at the papers himself. He makes a show of adjusting his glasses and leaning over too, as if he isn’t in possession of vision that could read paperwork with a font half this size from the opposite end of a football field without so much as squinting. Tim visibly resists the urge to come over too, being Tim and always wanting as much information as possible. Alfred has more patience and Damian just isn’t interested, Jon and Lor are both understandably distracted, and Carl is just continuing to ignore everyone that isn’t actively cuddled up to him, so otherwise they have all the space in the world. 

“We strive to keep the contracts as straightforward as possible, of course, but there are a few necessary clauses and disclaimers,” Travers says, gesturing at the paperwork as she lays out the last sheet, and then proceeds to explain said clauses and disclaimers in agonizing detail. Bruce listens to and absorbs the information, resenting the entire conversation as something that could’ve absolutely been an email and also half the length it currently is, but keeps a touch of attention on Carl and the pups. 

Jon ducks his head against Carl’s chest when he finishes nursing and . . . sniffs, once, very quietly. And then blinks, very quickly. 

Clark’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything. Bruce decides to defer to him. 

Carl does not, and starts purring louder and drags Jon up to bury his face in the scent gland in his throat without even bothering to fix his shirt. His pheromones are clumsy, unrefined things, not the kind of clear and straightforward communication that an omega his age should know how to push through their scent, but they’re still omega-sweet and all-encompassing enough to fill up the room. He smells not quite comforting, perhaps, but warm and sweet as milk and strong and solid and present: the kind of protective and certain and promised scent that Bruce is more used to associating with powerful and secure omegas like Clark and Diana than random stray civilians who’ve barely presented. 

So it’s not particularly surprising when Jon plasters himself against Carl and lets out a very, very quiet sob against his scent gland. Carl wraps his arm tighter around him and purrs at him as he inexpertly nuzzles his hair. Damian bristles, glaring at Carl, and for some reason Tim’s face is very red, but Alfred projects soothing reassurance through his own pheromones and Damian’s hackles . . . well, they don’t go down, exactly, but he also doesn’t try to attack Carl, so Bruce will take it. 

Clark swallows, looking pained, and keeps his eyes on the paperwork. 

So yes, he’s very upset about this, if he’s not going to Jon right now. 

Travers looks stressed again but doesn’t say anything about the situation, just keeps carefully explaining the contracts. They do seem to be fairly standard arrangements from what Bruce has researched in regards to wet nurse agencies, and there aren’t any particular red flags so far. Some unnecessarily archaic language and a bit of benevolent sexism on behalf of Carl, who rolls his eyes when he hears it, but nothing explicitly concerning. Bruce glances towards Clark, because Clark’s the omega here and therefore likelier to notice an abuse an alpha might not, but he doesn’t look concerned either. Well–about Jon, obviously, but not the contract. 

“And of course the agency can arrange an alpha, for propriety’s sake,” Travers continues, and then Bruce finds himself very concerned. 

“I'm sorry?” he says as Clark bristles beside him. Bruce attempts to find any possible way to interpret that “of course” that doesn’t involve a goddamn arranged mating in the interest of him not having to worry about an omega under his roof having the right to make any paternity claims against him if they just so “happen” to get pupped. Politely phrased, obviously, because they’re in mixed company and the Waterton Agency has manners, but still no kind of subtle for anyone who knows those manners. 

“The fuck do they need with an alpha?” Carl asks, wrinkling his nose in confusion, and Bruce is reminded that Carl does not know those manners. Which means Carl has no idea what Travers just offered on his behalf. 

Goddammit.

[steventhusiast]

STWG daily prompt 23/9/23

prompt: summer camp

pairing/character(s): steddie, robin, dustin, will, lucas

CW: robin calls steve a whore but like. in her mind. and then a slut to his (and eddie's) face. but affectionately. they're besties.

-

"Robin, Robin!"

Robin's alone time is very rudely interrupted by a small group of pre-teens running over to her. Being a camp counsellor this summer has been fun, but she very much values her alone time by the lake. What can she say, she enjoys staring at the water and occasionally aggressively throwing pebbles into it.

So she may glare a little as she turns to look at the little terrors.

"What." She says more than asks.

Dustin, Will and Lucas are the boys standing before her, and the only one of them that doesn't wilt under her slight glare is Dustin. In fact, he lifts his head in retaliation and meets her gaze.

"We can't find Steve." He explains, and it's then that Robin notes the worry in the boys' eyes. She sighs, and fully turns away from the lake to focus on them.

"What do you mean you can't find Steve?"

"He said that he was gonna go get a change of clothes-" Lucas starts.

"And we were just gonna wait for him by the treetop course, but we wanted to get changed too-" Dustin continues.

"So we went back to the cabin and he's not there!" Will finishes.

God, this particular group has to be the weirdest group of pre-teens she's ever met. At least the rest of their 'party' aren't here, or the finishing-each-others'-thoughts thing would be a lot creepier.

"Okay, so," She starts, and gets up to start walking toward the cabins, the boys following her, "have you actually looked anywhere else before coming to me, or..?"

They stay silent at her words, and she sighs. The lack of an answer tells her everything she needs to know.

"You know he could have gone to the bathrooms? The cafeteria? One of the other cabins-"

She tops in her tracks as she cuts herself off. He wouldn't. That whore.

Before her precious lake-time, she was on an activity with some other counsellors, including none other than Eddie Munson. AKA Steve's summer camp fling. Who coincidentally also went to get a change of clothes a few minutes before Robin told Chrissy she needed a break and escaped to the lake. She bets he's also missing in action right now.

"Why don't you guys go back to the treetop course? I think I know where he is." She suggests to the kids, who immediately start protesting.

"What if he's hurt?"

"What if he needs help?"

"What if he got lost?"

She rolls her eyes at their worry. It's kind of cute, but so unnecessary. She knows exactly where Steve is (and Eddie, too).

"Don't worry. I know where he is." She says, and when that's not enough, continues, "Besides, if you run around with me you might miss the chance to go on the treetop course."

The kids run off in one direction, and she marches in the other toward the cabins.

Frankly, Steve's lucky the kids didn't think to check any of the other cabins. Especially Eddie's.

When she gets to cabin 5, she steels herself before going in. If they're doing anything nefarious, she's actually going to murder Steve. No. She'll murder Eddie for corrupting Steve. Steve never would have done something like this last summer.

"You better be decent!" She calls out as she loudly opens the door to the main room where the kids sleep. She starts toward the cabin leader's room with equally loud steps.

She just wants to give them as much time as possible to not be in a compromising position because... She does not want to see that.

"Heyyy, Robbie." Steve greets guiltily as she slowly opens the door to Eddie's room.

They're sat together on Eddie's single bed, cheeks flushed and polo shirts looking very rumpled. Eddie doesn't look guilty at all, with the wide and pleased grin on his face.

"Can't believe my alone time got cut short for this. Were you sluts planning on going back to your activities any time soon or were you just waiting for one of the kids to walk in on you?" She asks, one eyebrow raised.

Steve continues to look guilty, and Eddie snickers under his breath. How dare he.

"I'm serious! At least go into the woods behind the cabins!" She exclaims, and then shakes her head at them, "amateurs. Me and Chrissy would never."

[smilesstyless]

Missed you

Summary: Rosie is fuzzy all day and she wants to see her dad

Wordcount: +1,4k

Trigger warnings: mention of anxiety

Today is one of the usual days when she babysits Rosie, she sits with her on the couch. Rosie has been fussy all day, and Y/n can’t calm her down. She rests her head against the couch cushion. She can’t even call Harry, she can’t ask him what she should do.

“Rosie, come sit with me,” she pats the seat next to her. She refuses to sit down, she doesn't cry yet. She was happy about that.

“Daddy,” she mutters.

“What’s with daddy?” She picks her up and rests her on her hip.

“Miss him,” she hides her face into the crock of her neck.

“Wanna see daddy?” She nodded her head. Y/n knew he lives near the campus, he once told her if something happened.

Rosie walks next to y/n hand in hand. Her hair is in two little ponytails. On the way here she cried, y/n doesn’t know why she cried. It took them away longer to get here.

Rosie walks next to y/n hand in hand. Her hair is in two little ponytails. On the way here she cried, y/n doesn’t know why she cried. It took them away longer to get here.

Y/n picks her up and slowly opens the door from his office. Rosie cocks her head in her dad’s direction. Harry looked exhausted, he leaned back into his chair, his glasses on the top of his head. On Rosie’s lips from a huge smile as she sees her dad.

“Daddy,” her voice is now high-pitched. Harry’s eyes open, he puts his glasses back on.

“Surprise,” y/n says.

“Hi Angel,” he smiles. Y/n let Rosie down and she walks over to her dad. Harry picks her up and places her in his lap. Harry takes one more look at her, “Did you cry?” He raises an eyebrow. Rosie nodded her head.

“Why are you two here?”

“She is fussy all day and she also missed you,” y/n sits down on the opposite of him and Rosie.

“I missed you too Angel,” he kisses the top of her head. “Did y/n make them?” Rosie nodded her head proudly.

“What are you doing right now?” Y/n looks at some of his papers. She was always curious, she always wanted to be a teacher but she couldn’t study because it was too expensive. Now she’s working in a bookstore and it also makes her happy.

“Waiting for Samantha and grading some papers,” Rosie leans her head against his stomach. Harry wraps his arm around her.

At this moment the door opens. Y/n stands up and sits down somewhere else in his room. Rosie is still in his lap, she hides herself in Harry’s stomach.

“Does it bother you when my daughter is here?” On his lips from an insecure smile. His students don't know he has a daughter. “She missed me that’s why she’s here, I’m sorry, I really am,” he apologizes for his daughter.

"No, not at all. She’s really cute, what's her name?” Samantha lies her papers on his desk so that he can explain it.

“That’s Rosie, she is shy when I’m around. Otherwise she would ask you anything, what's possible, right Angel?“ Rosie nodded her head.

Harry tries to explain to Samantha how the assignment works. He told her if she has trouble reading she should check YouTube. There are some helpful videos about the book. He also knows some of his students never read the book, they look for a summary on the Internet and write the assignment with that.

“Daddy,” Rosie whispers. Harry looks into his lap, he humps in response. “Wanna home, I’m tired,” she mutters. Y/n wanted to take her and she immediately started crying. She sits her back down onto Harry’s lap.

“Excuse me for a minute,” he says to Samantha, she nodded her head. “That is going on all afternoon, Rosie never acts like that. Sure she is fuzzy sometimes but that’s new,” Harry is going through his hair. He doesn't know why she is like that, he guesses she is tired and wants to stay in his lap.

“I know she’s usually the sweetest kind on the planet,” y/n shakes her head.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, are you Rosie’s mom?” Samantha is curious because she is the first person who knows Harry has a daughter.

“Mama agent,” she mumbles lazily. Samantha looks confused at Harry.

“Her mom is an agent, I’m taking care of her and y/n helps me with babysitting when I’m at work. Could you come tomorrow before class to me so I can explain it better. I was distracted and I really need to get home.”

“Yeah of course Mr Styles, see you tomorrow,” Samantha closed the door behind herself. He sits Rosie in his office chair down, so that he can pack his stuff together.

“You’re a little princess you know,” he smiles at her.

He has Rosie in his arms with his free hand and he has to lock his office. He walks down the hall, there is already whispering. He knows this would happen, it doesn’t bother him to be honest.

“Mr Styles is a dilf, it makes him even hotter taking care of his daughter. I would do everything for him,” a girl in the hall said.

“I’m sorry H, I didn’t know any better. She cried all day about you. Daycare called me and asked if I could pick her up,” Harry looks at Rosie for a short moment with her arms around his neck, she hides her face into the crock of his neck.

“Daycare called you?” Y/n nodded her head. “You didn’t tell me,” he says.

“You were busy so I thought I could tell you later,” she shrugs. It was a long day for y/n too, she tried to lie Rosie down for a nap, but that didn’t work. “I forgot to mention she didn’t nap today, she’s probably tired because she was awake all day,” Harry nodded his head.

“Mr Styles is such a dilf,” he knew this voice was one of students Aimee, she’s kinda obvious, she wants his attention, but she never gets his attention. Y/n and Rosie are his number one Priority.

“I’m really sorry,” she mumbles.

“It’s okay, I kinda figured that I’m the ‘hot’ single Professor, so don’t worry. Now they have something new to talk about,” he leans with his back against the door and opens it.

One of his students came over to him, she never really talked to him. She is the shy smart girl in his class. “I’m sorry to bother you, but is there an option that I don’t have to talk in class tomorrow? I am dealing with anxiety and I don’t know if I can talk,” she shutters. She pushes her glasses back on the bridge of her nose.

“Yeah of course. I didn’t know about your anxiety and I don’t want to make it worse. If you write every step you would do down and hand it to me I will grade it. Ask your roommate if they can help you with it.” He smiles at her. Harry never really Talks with her but he knows it must be hard for her to ask something like that, he also knows there are Professors who don't believe in the whole mental illness thing.

“Thank you so much and I’m also sorry about the comments you’ll get now,” she looks down at Rosie.

“It’s fine, see you tomorrow in class,” she waves him goodbye.

•••

“It was an exhausting day, “ y/n falls onto Harry’s couch. She shut her eyes and sighs.

“Let’s go to bed, I can see how tired you are,” he mumbles. Harry hands her one of his shirts. Get into his bathroom, she puts her jeans off and her sweater. She throws his shirt over her body and walks back into his bedroom. Harry also threw a shirt on, usually he sleeps without a shirt but today y/n is with him in his bed.

“I’ll go back onto the couch,” she mutters lazily.

“No, you can sleep here, my bed is huge,” she agreed. Harry wraps his arms around her body and holds her close to him. He has an unusual feeling in his stomach, everything tickles like butterflies. He could smell her. He loves the way she smells.

“Night H,” she mumbles into his duvet.

“Nights night y/n,” Harry can’t explain how happy he is that Rosie doesn’t wake up. He wants to be close to her right now. He hasn't felt that way about anyone in three years.

[snoopledrooplecheesedoodle]

Hii! Can I requests ur Yan-ocs with an Ace reader? That doesn’t exactly like physical touch or any of that sort?

YEP Absolutely, I needed to fulfill this request because I want to finish a full fic for another person but feel a little burnt out. As someone who might be acespec I get it (more so ace than aro).

People under 17 fuck right on off (politely of couse)!

Also, not all the yanderes will be super accepting, just a heads up because I think that their personalities determine their level of openness to darling being ace.

Macchiato:

Hates this as a stage five clinger. She will never blame you for being this way though, she loves you too much! Doesn't care about sex as long as you are comfortable being with her. She will try and find out what touch you are comfortable with and smoother you with that kind of touch. Will also be fine cuddling the crap out of a pillow as long as it smells like you. One of the better ones in my opinion.

Espresso

Is the best one to have in this situation because I believe Espresso is ace himself. Never was one for touch and would only endure it if you wanted it. Since you don't like physical touch Espresso will focus on any other love language you might like. He personally is fond of gift giving and quality time (both giving and receiving).

Donut:

THE. FUCKING. WORST. Worse than Macchi, Matcha and Cocoa. What do you mean you're ace? Isn't that not real? After some explaining Donut does understand but that doesn't mean he likes it. How else is he meant to show he cares when his beloved doesn't want to touch him? He thinks it cruel to deprive him of your loving touch. Bends as many boundaries as he can without you getting fed up and leaving. However, when it comes to others touching you, he screams at them about you hating touch. Very much 'touches for me but not for thee' mentality.

Sugar:

One of the most mature with handling this situation, will sit down and discuss boundaries and comfort levels. She adores you and would never want to make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Will even discuss in an age-appropriate way to Cookie and Muffin why Baba doesn't like to be touched. Sugar knows better than anyone that sex doesn't equal romance as she got pregnant from a one-night stand. Doesn't have the highest sex drive but if you are willing to do it, she will guide you in a night of pleasure. Will find other fun activities that both of you enjoy, let her love you and everything will be fine.

Cookie and Muffin:

Legit children and don't understand asexuality at all. When you explain you don't like being touched, they say okay and continue holding your hands. Sugar does get them to somewhat understand why you don't like being touched but the kids still mess up from time to time. Kids are clingy mofos and Cookie and Muffin are no different. They will bite adults that touch you in a way they deem incorrect, they're feral but lovable.

Croissant:

Researches everything about the ace spectrum and asks tons of questions. What kind of touch is acceptable? How long have you known? Do you still feel comfortable around him? Biggest and dorkiest ally to be found. Will share asexual facts with you that you might not know (you probably do). Will ask for consent before even entering your personal space. If you feel less comfortable with skin-on-skin contact, Croissant will start wearing more sweaters even in July. He will suffer if there's a slight chance you will embrace him.

Cocoa:

Damn that's rough buddy but directed at her. Clingy Mcgee will have to modify her approach a bit. She would never want to make her best friend uncomfortable in any way, shape or form. Will catch herself trying to grab your arm to get your attention and apologize profusely. Hopes you still want to hang out with her even though she slips up sometimes. Will shield you from any unwanted touches from the other cafe workers and curse them out.

Matcha:

Completely understands you not wanting to touch them, I mean they're so gross and you're so perfect. A deity such as yourself should not be worried about the common people, no you should be untouchable. Makes it weird real fast, like good you understand but quit moaning each time you get a head pat. May break your boundaries in hopes of being hurt but respects your wishes in general.

Shopkeeper:

Is neutral to it as they love you as you are. They would think it was adorable if you did cling to them but aren't devastated that you don't like touch. I personally think Shopkeeper is demi sexual, so they understand you not experiencing sexual attraction (even if they are sexually attracted to you). May tease you about being so "cold" to their advances. People who violate your minimal touch policy will end up in Shopkeeper's kitchen, and not come out.

Cappuccino:

Does not care, just not in a good way. Not about the asexual bit just the touch bit. They will nap on you whether you like it or not, you are their pillow. They will sit on you if it means you will stay (They're chonky so good luck getting out of there). Otherwise, they still want you by their side. Also not wanting sex is a win for them since they are too lazy to do anything.

Butch:

Butch would be concerned. Did someone traumatize you in childhood? Has someone touched you? You explain that's not the reason you're ace, and he relaxes. He does miss the idea of holding you close but knows he's not worthy of it (especially if he kidnapped you). You may have made this guard dog more overprotective over you as anyone who tries to touch you will receive a warning growl.

[merirat]

All right... so.

I don't go looking for spoilers, but sometimes they come looking for me. I generally try to view them as Slander™ and Lies™ because I trust nothing online, but there is one teeny, tiny element that I feel I must address.

To avoid any soupçon of spoilerness, do not click the read more link.

Very good.

Now... the single digits familiar with my proclivities will understand why I might be a teensy bit bothered by the concept of Alastor being beholden to Rosie.

Don't get me wrong, this is a perfectly reasonable direction in which to go and makes (almost) perfect sense.

We will address the "almost" later.

After all:

This is exactly the kind of "we can't have nice relationships" edgelord dynamic a middle-schooler would come up with and then have to reverse engineer to preserve. And this can be done perfectly well! No shade to the tweeny-boppers who want to dominate their own creations. You do you.

It keeps the cast nice and tight. No new and weird elements to throw things off.

It fits well with the "something surprising about Alastor" tease made in interviews. That said, I take issue with a comment I saw about no one coming up with this theory. I have seen this theory mentioned at least twice, although not in a super-serious way.

Assuming this spoiler is true, there is an assumption that Rosie owns Alastor's soul. Which she might! However, soul ownership is not a necessity to have a binding deal (see Alastor and Charlie). It's heavily implied that Rosie operates via favours, which is a particularly insidious form of deal making. Although it would be easier to just have a lien on his soul until he fulfills a bargain, I think it would be just as fair and more interesting to view it as a form of indentured servitude: do one favour and ensure that every measure made to pay that favour back requires another favour so that the debt is never paid.

When was the deal made? Alastor started taking down Overlords almost overnight. Was that his idea or did Rosie want him to get rid of the competition (in any way he saw fit)?

If the way he saw fit gave him too much notoriety and power, it would make sense for him to be ordered off the air for a period of time until his influence was diminished.

It would explain why Alastor doesn't appear to have a physical territory: none of his deals are his own (except for two). He's a broker on Rosie's behalf. I think only Husk and Nifty are bound to him personally for reasons I don't want to type up right now.

With that in mind, it would make sense for him to be sent to the Hazbin Hotel. Why wouldn't Rosie want the princess of Hell to be indebted to her? It's also an excellent opportunity for Alastor to play both sides of the board. Charlie's power level is far above any Overlord's. She can definitely make good on a favour large enough to clear a debt.

Assuming Alastor cares about Mimzy, it would also explain the way he brushed her off. He wouldn't want her to come back to the hotel if he didn't want her involved.

It re-contextualizes the way Rosie treats Alastor. Playful barbs and teasing with names and terms that are confusing ("ace in the hole" - which Alastor is in every sense of the term) is something that good friends do... but is also exactly what Alastor does to Husk. The difference is, Alastor doesn't expect Husk to act gracious or happy about it.

About Alastor and Charlie in Cannibal Town: I always found it odd that Rosie jumped on the proposal so quickly. I chalked it up to doing business with someone familiar and the fact that there were only eight episodes, but honestly... what if the whole display was prearranged? I don't think Alastor's deal with Charlie was on Rosie's behalf. That favour could have been for him. But he could have also dug his own grave a little deeper by asking Rosie to join the fight against heaven ahead of time in order to curry Charlie's favour and bolster her power/confidence. This would put the debt on him, with a hope to clear it through Charlie, rather than having her directly indebted to Rosie. (Which she still might be, but let's have some intrigue.)

No little QPR nest I have made for myself has ever NOT been shat upon by canon, so why should this one be any different? Heaven forbid my anhedonic ass scrape up any sort of comfort from media.

I'm sure there were more points that my brain came up with while at work, but I am in front of an active document now, so of course they are gone.

Now we will address the "almost".

Sensibly, this turn of events could make practical sense. However, what gets to me is the

absolute

tonal

whiplash

this causes.

I don't care how good a performer Alastor is, Season One has shown him to be absolutely livid and on the verge of a total breakdown over the fact that he's constrained by some sort of deal.

And yet...

The only times he's drawn with what looks like a genuine smile of joy or pleasure is when he's in Rosie's company. Like, it's been pointed out elsewhere that he's even drawn softer and fluffier when he's around her. And sure, maybe Rosie doesn't tolerate back-talk or whatnot, but there's a wild difference between "pleasant and polite" to avoid repercussions and whatever this is:

So anyway... if this is a turn of events that I get pissed off about, it will be because of the absolute tease of close friendship because this is not a situation in which such a thing can be maintained. I will then be left with only two options:

Ignore it and write whatever I want, as per the grand tradition of fandom.

Become cruel and write absolute horror.

Or something like that.

Man, and I thought just the threat of Season Two was fucking up my fic plans.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Why do you think the epilogue of "Jane Eyre" gives so little attention to Jane's becoming a mother? Just once sentence that doesn't even touch on Jane's feelings about it, only that Rochester regained enough of his sight to be able to see his firstborn son. Why should such an enormous, life-changing aspect of her married years be so deemphasized?

Hi!

If you ask me, I think the very simple answer is that Charlotte Brontë didn't like children. Even Adele herself in the novel is very little more than a plot device to have Jane at Thornfield (this is one of the reasons why the 1996 heavy focus on childhood and the consequences of unhappy childhoods, ending with Jane and Rochester adopting Adele and raising her as their own is both a strong departure from the text but also an interesting commentary on it).

I feel like Elizabeth Gaskell explains it in a way that makes sense in her The Life of Charlotte Brontë:

"...teaching seemed to her at this time, as it does to most women at all times, the only way of earning an independent livelihood. But neither she nor her sisters were naturally fond of children. The hieroglyphics of childhood were an unknown language to them, for they had never been much with those younger than themselves. I am inclined to think, too, that they had not the happy knack of imparting information, which seems to be a separate gift from the faculty of acquiring it; a kind of sympathetic tact, which instinctively perceives the difficulties that impede comprehension in a child’s mind, and that yet are too vague and unformed for it, with its half-developed powers of expression, to explain by words. Consequently, teaching very young children was anything but a “delightful task” to the three Brontë sisters. With older girls, verging on womanhood, they might have done better, especially if these had any desire for improvement. But the education which the village clergyman’s daughters had received, did not as yet qualify them to undertake the charge of advanced pupils."

"No doubt, all who enter upon the career of a governess have to relinquish much; no doubt, it must ever be a life of sacrifice; but to Charlotte Brontë it was a perpetual attempt to force all her faculties into a direction for which the whole of her previous life had unfitted them. Moreover, the little Brontës had been brought up motherless; and from knowing nothing of the gaiety and the sportiveness of childhood—from never having experienced caresses or fond attentions themselves—they were ignorant of the very nature of infancy, or how to call out its engaging qualities. Children were to them the troublesome necessities of humanity; they had never been drawn into contact with them in any other way. Years afterwards, when Miss Brontë came to stay with us, she watched our little girls perpetually; and I could not persuade her that they were only average specimens of well brought up children. She was surprised and touched by any sign of thoughtfulness for others, of kindness to animals, or of unselfishness on their part: and constantly maintained that she was in the right, and I in the wrong, when we differed on the point of their unusual excellence."

From a letter from Charlotte to Gaskell:

"Whenever I see Florence and Julia [two of Gaskell's daughters] again, I shall feel like a fond but bashful suitor, who views at a distance the fair personage to whom, in his clownish awe, he dare not risk a near approach. Such is the clearest idea I can give you of my feeling towards children I like, but to whom I am a stranger;—and to what children am I not a stranger? They seem to me little wonders; their talk, their ways are all matter of half-admiring, half-puzzled speculation."

I wonder how her feelings would or wouldn't have changed, had she survived her pregnancy and gotten a child of her own with the husband she loved.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Can we get some stuff recharging adult Lucky and Kaku? … asking for a friend.

anon I am gently kissing you on the forehead, thank you so much I have been wanting to talk about them since finishing Enies Lobby

under the cut because I am mentally ill about this man

When they meet, it's in the kitchen of the Going Merry when he comes to check out the ship. Lucky was already a little rattled from the Franky Family trying to jump them, so a strange man suddenly appearing on the ship definitely scares her a bit.

That, and the whole Enel situation happened like not even a week ago.

She freezes and stares at him when he walks in, and he isn't doing any better. He just came to do an evaluation on a ship and now he's finding this poor, battered woman cowering in one of the rooms.

He snaps out of it and is quick to explain who he is and why he's there. Once she's calmed down and realized she isn't about to be attacked again, he steps closer and asks in a hushed tone if she needs help. Rescuing people being held hostage on a pirate ship is hardly a first for Galley-La.

Her attempts to convince him that she is actually fine aren't particularly successful, but he doesn't force her to come with. He does talk her into showing him around the ship "just in case he misses something", but really he's just worried Zoro is going to do something to Lucky when he isn't looking.

Just as he's leaving, he slips a piece of paper into her pocket. It's hastily jotted down directions to Dock 1 if she changes her mind. Lucky is somewhat charmed. While his concern was ultimately unnecessary, it was very sweet of him.

Kaku, meanwhile, is having a crisis. Being able to shut down and disregard emotions is something he had to get good at in his line of work, so why could he not get Lucky out of his head? Why does he feel like he needs to go back and save her? He puts it aside, but just barely.

It keeps building as the arc progresses and further encounters make him feel even more hot under the collar. He went out of his way to bring her some lunch while also covertly doing CP9 stuff because she mentioned wishing she could've tried this one particular food Water 7 was known for. He's down bad and has no idea what to do.

Ultimately, he leaves her behind when their cover is blown and they all head to Enies Lobby, but when she comes there... His resolve breaks. Clearly this is meant to be, why else would she have come here despite the danger? She was meant to be his. She wants this as bad as he does.

After being defeated by Zoro, he uses the last of his strength to find and bring her with him. He's 100% ready to leave everything behind just to be with her. This doesn't work out thanks to Lucky having an impact dial on her, but even after taking such a vicious blow, he's still attempting to reach out to her.

Kaku hates who and what he is. He never asked to be an assassin, none of them did, but he could never fully settle into the roll. A part of him always resented the people who did this to him. Who forced him to live such a horrible life when he could have been normal if they'd laid eyes on anyone but him.

Lucky is his second chance. She's an opportunity to run away and restart his disaster of a life. To experience the normalcy he had up until now thought would only ever be a fantasy.

All he wants is to walk away from all this and be a normal, happy couple living a refreshingly mundane life. Sure, it wouldn't be completely normal, they would have to move around constantly to evade detection from the world government that would absolutely be looking for him, but it's nothing they can't persevere through together.

The thing he wants most is a family. The memories of his own family from his childhood are so far away and unclear that he isn't even entirely sure they're real or just something he came up with to make himself feel better. But now, with Lucky, he could have something indisputably real. Their children would be as adorable as they would be loved, that's what he tells her when he's trying to force convince her to come with him.

Kaku is delusional to an extreme. He only ever sees Lucky as a victim of circumstance that is so traumatized from her past that she can't be trusted to make good decisions for herself. That's why she needs a little push, he tells himself.

Please ask me more about him, I'm obsessed as you can probably tell.

[this-is-fox-speaking]

ok so. here's my thoughts on how things went for memory recollection.

Sissel remembered the moment they got into their past body. Something about Temsik fragment fuckery, I dunno. That's my only excuse. Merging memories or being hit with memories probably isn't as soul punching when you're literally a little kitty cat. They've been very sworn to their duty to love their families so so much!

Yomiel remembers a little bit after the timelines reset. Like, these memories probably get him for a while as some sort of familiar feeling similar to deja vu, but it actually just hit when he started painting in jail. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what was going on or why he painted that figures he knew he hadn't seen before, and- "Oh fuck, wait. That's right. I KNOW THEM." Kinda like a Jowd situation but.. reversed?

It takes a few months or maybe a couple years for Jowd to remember. He gets freaked out when he realizes he knew exactly what his daughter was going to look like, and- then he's immediately hit with it. Yeah, him and Yomiel probably had a few good talks over some of those prison days. He doesn't tell Alma or anything. Even though he feels bad about it, he knows it wouldn't really be the best thing to tell your wife that.. all of that happened. Unless you wanna look like a crazy person. Again.

Cabanela has his own few deja vu moments when he meets the other for the first time after the park incident, like the Pigeon Man or Lynne. I'd like to think he actually remembers a little before Jowd does, since he was literally also possessed by good ol Manipulator over here, and was so obsessed with figuring him out. He doesn't bring it up at first, until Jowd brings it up, then he just casually admits he's been- almost literally- dancing around the topic until the right time. Idk if this is very in character, lemme know. I've only watched through this game a total of once because it's.. really long. And I just recently finished it.

Lynne remembers over time, but it's specifically whenever she sees Yomiel's face. He's familiar, yet she can't place why, and it's not just from the park.. and when she finally gets hit with the memories once shes older, she kinda goes through some stages before going back to regular old, hyperactive lynne, towards Yomiel. He has the face but not the same personality of who she's used to, but.. she knows he's changed. And we know Lynne is.. quite the character! Not negative, just. I dunno how to explain her! Yomiel is her bestie against his will. This is not a choice.

Kamila doesn't remember any of it. It only comes to her in short visions- aka, "nightmares". I imagine as she gets older, it's possible she might remember these memories more clearly/solidly, or she'll ask Jowd and them, and they sigh and begrudgingly admit what really happened. Kinda up to interpretation, truly! It's fun to think about, either direction.

I think it'd be bittersweet if Missile sometimes had small dreams of being a lamp in the city's trash. Or simply being an odd ghostly figure. Or just being his own, lively doggy self, digging about the trash, yet being ignored by all the humans that come by. Sissel doesn't have the heart to tell him the truth. It's bittersweet because even though it means Missile has to remember this sad life of his old self, it still means Ray lives on, even if it's just a little bit. Probably a similar situation as Kamila, where he'll remember once he's much, much older. Past his dog years.

I feel like Pigeon Man would remember but just. Not give a fuck. He rambles about it to Lovey Dove sometimes, when he's bored, but that's about it. He doesn't care. He's got more important studies to worry about.

The Minister... I'm not really sure. I don't wanna have him remember or else he'll be all sad and mopey again. I'm gonna let him be happy with his family.

As for all the other characters- park protector, Minister's wife, his daughter, etc- they all have faint feelings of it. A small bit of deja vu every year or two, but it's nothing huge at all. They never really dwell on it.

[basedkikuenjoyer]

Jojolands 13: Ohana Means I'll Set Your Ass on Fire

Dragona dropping some great truth about the absurd in this bizarre adventure. We finally got a peak behind that mask. I love it and I hate it, if you've read the chapter already you know what I mean. We'll get to that, because this right here isn't spoilery and it was such a cool nugget.

I love the way Dragona talks about the "absurd." Chance moments that alter one's life for better or for worse. The things that just don't make sense. Especially paired with Dragona opining about nearly losing their heart in the same chapter that last part about hearts being destroyed hits hard. I'm definitely sure we're looking at a trans narrative here and one we'll see play out. The chapter does a good job of implying what we need to know. Nudges at an early theory you've been changing your body with Smooth Operator. We ready? What follows is no place for beginners or sensitive hearts:

Oh HELL yes! As if I needed a reason, these two were well on their way to top Jojo status and now the dynamic duo of the Joestar Siblings are definitely there. Mean girl sets her sights on a much more timid Dragona who we now know looked way more masculine at 14 than 18. Talking physical build and not just fashion. You know, I don't expect an 18yo to have all that figured out and with this I do think we'll see her keep coming into her own. But holy shit that was fucked up and I sincerely hope we can get through the rest of this with no more sexual assault on my Jojos blorbo.

If they do...Jodio will fuck you up. Set a whole damn bus on fire! And while I'm not looking forward to having to relive the impetus in the inevitable anime adaptation, since we've already had the cop I kinda like the perpetrator being a girl here. For one because it shows a side of this kind of bigotry that often goes underrepresented. You see a little more space made typically for trans men who had bad experiences with men prior to coming out, largely because it tends to overlap with those who found a comfortable half-step in something like a radical feminist group. But this sets up Dragona pretty well for a realistic other side of the coin to that. Your experiences with bullying might make you a little skittish of girls your age, you keep a foot in this criminal world even if we keep showing you (not unlike Okiku) as someone who doesn't fit super well, all this would certainly explain why you'd gravitate towards a figure like Meryl Mei. Why there's great potential for drama if she shows a nastier side. It's all great for a trans story that justifies still figuring yourself out through it...but sticks to a fairly realistic path for a lot of young women who find themselves running with gangs.

All that said, Jodio you absolute freak. Burning the whole bus is metal, it's scruffy, he's protecting family. Doooooope. These two are fantastic and I can't wait to explore their story, their dynamic more. Jodio & Dragona's sibling bond is the beating heart of this part. As much as I love Kiku/Izo & Killua/Alluka yeah this is gonna be a banger. Speaking of, this chapter was also the second time we nudged at Jodio getting shit for looking fey too. These two are ride or die for each other and their awesome mom Barbara Ann. How this all ties into their family falling apart and their desire to become filthy rich? No need to ask...

In lighter news. They. When Meryl learns of the other lava rock that got smashed. We're all clear on who's the brains and who's the firepower in the dynamic duo right? I trust Meryl as far as I can throw her and she's a big lady. But for now everything seems on the up-and-up. Charmingman seems to have passed the sniff test and yeah it looks like he's just going to hang around. I like this new setup. Scouting a shadowy company to see if we can get more lava rock.

All in all one of the best chapters of Jojolands so far. I'm loving it, this is the exact direction I hoped it'd go. The backstory made this pretty heavy and I hope we can have more fun with this gang on the new excursion.

[driven-to-abstraction]

So a theory I've developed that I surprisingly haven't seen anywhere else on the internet (by which I mean here on Tumblr bc I'm not actually anywhere else on the internet these days) is this:

Will Ferrell's character. The Mattel CEO.

This guy. This guy is a Ken who wandered into the real world and stayed there.

Think about it. Despite being framed as very much the villain of the story (at least the part in the Real World), the CEO never has any aggression toward Barbie. He wants her to go back to Barbieland because he's concerned for the ramifications to both realms if she doesn't. When they meet in person he is awed and respectful and-- dare I say it-- understanding of what she's been through since she came to the Real World. He isn't surprised when she doesn't know how to drink real water. He never threatens or commands her. He suggests she get back in the box so she can go home, but even when she evades and asks to go to the bathroom first, he lets her go without question. Because why would he ever question Barbie?

Even when Barbie escapes and the executives are chasing her through the building, the CEO comes face-to-face with her at one point, but does he grab her? No. She screams, and he screams, and they both keep running in opposite directions.

That feels like Kenergy, but maybe that's just me.

Also, he knows how to get to and from Barbieland. I can see how maybe, if it's something that can happen, Mattel executives might get briefed on the possibility of a Barbie entering the Real World and what to do if it happens, but I can't imagine the particulars of the journey itself are common knowledge. Yet this guy knows it immediately.

ALSO also, the bit that sticks out in my mind is his conversation with the other executives as they start making their way to Barbieland (which is now transforming into Kendomland). When they hear about the success of the Mojo Dojo Casa House playsets and the new Ken movie and everything that's changing, he's upset. The other executives even say, "what does it matter if we're still making money?" and he has his whole mini-rant about how that's not the point. He's not in this for the money, he's in it for the little girls, and the imagination, and the power that Barbie should have. Now, that doesn't sound like the opinion of an (admittedly bumbling) executive in the otherwise painfully accurate Real World. It sounds more like a holdover of a Ken's ingrained adoration of Barbie and everything she represents.

Not to mention that Allan explains to Gloria and Sasha (when he's trying to convince them to take him with them to the Real World) that others have left Barbieland and stayed in the Real World. At the time, he's referring specifically to Allans, but who's to say it couldn't happen to a Ken? In the original order of things, Kens aren't much more important than Allans, and might be equally unlikely to shift either world in a noticeable way. And if a Ken did manage to wander into the Real World, is it such a stretch to think he might have had a similar patriarchy awakening as the Ken we know, and also ended up at Mattel (like Barbie did), but instead of being captured, he could have talked his way into a position there (thanks, patriarchy) and worked his way up from there?

And he knows there are no real weapons in Barbieland. And I'm pretty sure he's the only man in the Real World (including Ken) we ever see wearing iconic Barbie pink. And, in the end, he's just happy things got back to normal and he's willing to give Barbie whatever ending she wants.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[actual-changeling]

silly little fluff post before i pop off to bed <3 nothing but joy and happiness and Joel and Ellie being soft with each other, i hope you enjoy it!!!

-

It's not like anyone ever directly asks her about it, but it is an unspoken question that follows them around, follows her around.

Family relations in the apocalypse are a lot looser and offer a lot more choices to everyone involved, but people like tradition, and so most family dynamics are pretty much exactly the way they were before, with some more (technically) adopted family members.

It also means that once Joel and Ellie start trying to properly integrate themselves into the community, but only because Maria hasn't stopped insisting for weeks now, they will be surrounded by a choir of mom and dad and a variety of pet names wherever they go.

At first, it doesn't bother them at all, why would it? People are naturally curious, though, and when they sit down for lunch on their second day of actually eating at the dining hall, a small group (family?) of five joins them, eager to start a conversation. Unfortunately for them, Joel and Ellie are the least conversational people they could have chosen, and lunch goes accordingly.

Ellie stays pressed against his side the entire time, giving monosyllabic answers to any questions directed at her that Joel doesn't catch, while he takes the brunt of it, one hand soothingly rubbing her lower back. Most of them ask about their time outside, how they got here, and what they saw, and she zones out rather quickly, letting the unfamiliar voices turn into white noise, until a specific question makes her snap back.

"So, how old is your daughter?"

Her gaze is locked on Joel's face, expecting him to turn toward her, but he doesn't. He simply keeps tracing circles along her spine and responds to the woman's question.

"Ellie is fifteen now, and-"

"Oh, they grow up so quick, don't they?" She interrupts, the smile genuine but way too sweet for Ellie to be comfortable with it.

"They sure do," and he does look at her now, eyes softened by the crinkling smile spreading across his face, and all Ellie can do in her stupor is smile back, caught in the tumbling rotation of daughter and father, cargo, not your dad, family, home. It wasn't time that did it.

Maybe, she decides, on their way back from lunch so they can stretch out across their living room couch, that was his way of saying it. Of apologizing and explaining. But maybe isn't enough, not for her, and the next time she gets asked, she wants to be sure of whatever she says.

"Sooo," she drawls, plopping her head into his lap and straightening her legs, "you gonna say anything?"

Joel threads his fingers through her hair, softly massaging her scalp and brushing out the strands until they're a silky curtain hanging down his thigh. Her eyes flutter close on their own accord, and she adjusts herself to be more comfortable.

"Gonna say anything about what?"

"You know what I mean."

With his palm cupping her cheek, it is incredibly hard to stay focused, the urge to nap is still strong after weeks of doing nothing but, and the heat seeping into her skin relaxes her enough to free all the tension she usually holds in a deep sigh.

"I do. You're wondering why I didn't correct her."

"Something like that. I just- I don't know. What to say."

His movements are slow and gentle, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone, his pinky tracing the line of her jaw, and Ellie could live in the safety of his cupped hands forever, crawl inside of his chest, and never come out again.

"There is nothing you need to say, you can call- us whatever you want."

While Joel tries to keep his voice light, she can taste the anxiety hidden within, and it isn't hard to tell that while he didn't falter earlier, it's still an important topic for him. They had a conversation about it that did not end well months ago, the first time she claimed her room as her own, and his words have grown roots in the back of her mind.

Not your daughter, not your dad, but those happened in the Before, and they were both in the After now, not ground zero but several memories and connections heavier.

"I don't- I don't mind. People thinking that I'm your- calling me your daughter. Unless you mind. because-"

"I don't mind," Joel interrupts, and the insistence his words carry makes her look up at him, meeting a brown that she knows isn't hers but might as well be.

"I don't mind, and I- it's still early, and I don't know what you are comfortable with, but I care about you, Ellie."

The pressure of his palm against her face wanders down, tucking back a few strands of hair, and she gently curls her fingers around his wrist to keep his hand where it is.

"I care about you, too. And I know I'm not her, and I never could be, but I thought maybe we could just be Ellie and Joel, whatever that ends up meaning."

Joel carefully pulls her upright, and she can't help but giggle when he pokes her sides, and she scrambles to turn around so she can tuck herself away against his chest. With his cheek resting on top of her head and his arms tightly around her, it seems almost silly to think that Joel wouldn't want her like this, that he would ever make her leave because she isn't what he needs.

"Whatever it ends up meaning," Joel agrees, and the kiss he presses to her temple is not only a promise, it's also an anchor to hold onto, to keep her steady when doubt tries to wash her away.

The next time someone asks Ellie about him, the answer she gives is the one she will always give.

My Joel.

Labels, she realizes, aren't as important as people make them seem. In the end, it is always better to just be, to belong with someone, to have someone to call yours.

"My world," Joel whispers one night, curled around her, "my blessing."

And being his, Ellie realizes, is the best of all.

[dreamcast641]

Ocs as colors

oh man this is going to be long because, knowing myself, I'd explain stuff and yap about them Anyway Claire

Warm Green

''Hey there, how's the whole "finding your reason in life" thing going? Listen, I know that it seems like you need to have some reason to be here, whether it's a goal to strive towards, a purpose, a direction, a passion, a use, anything, but you don't. You don't have to give what happened to you a reason, and your reactions don't always have to make sense. You don't have to keep putting the blame on yourself, and you don't have to try and unravel yourself like a puzzle, either. I know that people often see you as someone who's calmer, someone who seems to have it together, who, even though you struggle, you're always able to make it through it. And you are, and you're able to, and I'm proud of you for that. But, you should be proud of yourself, too, not just of what others are proud of you for, and not just what things you've deemed "worthy" of that praise. You've come far. If freedom is what you want, then you should let yourself have it.'' I like how, when it comes to Claire, those quiz seems to be almost always accurate. Yeah she is the kind of person that wants to have a reason for what happened around her that, at times, effected others as well and not in a good way. She seems to often place the blame of others suffering and her own on herself and herself only, almost inflicting herself more pain mentally to do better next time to not let anyone else down, to learn from her past mistakes. Claire wants people to see what she does and wants them to be at least a bit proud of her and yes, freedom is something that she desire but it's yet almost unreacheable. -------------------------- Dmitry

Burgundy Red

''You're very passionate, maybe passionate in the way of people, maybe passionate in the way of a goal, of a love, of a desire- it doesn't matter that much. You're strong-minded, self-sufficient, and people admire you, perhaps for different reasons, depending on what parts of yourself are true or not. Are you done running from what you don't like? It's okay, to be afraid. Fear is normal, it's what makes someone human, what makes someone real, but that doesn't mean that you can avoid everything. Someday your grief of your old self will find you in the middle of a summer day and ask you if you've forgiven it yet, and you will have to find an answer.''

Nop, I'm not satisfied with that answer. Dmitry isn't a passionate man at all and what he does comes from him giving up from the moment the incident happened and when the heard the doctors saying that he wasn't worthy keep him alive and waste the foundation money on machineries. He's impulsive in his decisions, due to a slow spiral that would lead him in his demise. ------------------------------- Evelynn

Sunflower Yellow

''Hello :] I have a feeling that you might enjoy using little faces like that, so I will, too! You've likely had a bit of a rough life, even if you don't share that with others too often, or if you do, it's so other people know they're not alone. That's admirable, but it's also good to talk about the things that trouble you for your own sake, as well. I know that you're strong, and you should be proud of yourself for how far you've come, but don't forget that it's also okay to step back for a bit, that it's okay if you're not put together. Regardless, you're someone that people tend to find comfort in, and you're a good, cheerful person to be around. It's a bit hard to come across someone like you nowadays- be proud of yourself, and if anyone tries to tell you that you're wrong for enjoying the small joys in life, just be happy that it's obvious you're truly living life.'' Evelynn is the kind of person that, no matter how much life throws at her, she'll always find a reason to be kind to others and maybe that's why she is considered an excellent doctor. She is trying her best to repair whatever past mistakes she did, the hurt she inflicted her children by leaving them behind is something that she can't shake the guilt off and knowing that she never will have the chance to make things right is eating her alive. But knowing that people in that GOC site, that went through a lot due to their past leadership, relies on her and sees her as a good influence, someone to always look for when they need reassurance, it's giving her hope for a better future ----------------------

Lilja

Afternoon Blue

''You can be both gentle, and relentless. Soothing, and unforgiving, whether that's towards yourself, or others. You're someone who is considered a natural born leader, and you tend to take that title in pride, although there are times when you wish that you wouldn't have to always be the one who makes the decisions. The pressure that you've lived with so far has settled heavily onto your shoulders, and even though you've learned to live with it, you can't help but wonder what it would be like to share that burden with someone else, for once. People have always placed their expectations on you, and you always rise to the task- regardless of whether you think you can really do it, or not. Its led to you having some unfair expectations of others- after all, who are they to be so far behind? Who are they to sit and rest, when you must do all this work? You have to learn to let others take some of that burden from you, you have to learn to rest. The only thing truly stopping yourself from resting now, is you.'' Honestly I have no idea because she is a fresh new character and her traits are not well defined yet like are for the others that some I have for almost a decade now. But yeah I can see her being a person with a lot of expectations on her shoulders with a lot of work to do to be someone and at least her hard work was worth something, even something revolutionary even.