#i already was hella suicidal on top of all of this and so this is kind of my last nail in the coffin mentally…. i am crumbling 😂 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zoeysdamn · 2 years ago

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Headcanon (crack): Wednesday’s characters being drunk

Don’t ask me why. @beggingforxavierthorpe and I talked and boom -- crack thoughts, you know the drill

Wednesday:

Doesn’t get drunk easily, is used to fancy wines from family dinners; it takes around a whole bottle to get her tipsy.

Prefers old age whisky (or nail polish remover)

Blunt af – even more than usual it is

But it also means blunting compliments

“Your dress is nicely complimenting your body, Enid”

“....I’m sorry wHAT– “

“I said what I said”

0 sense of danger

Like, none

Would accept any dare, I swear to god

“Hey Wednesday, bet you can’t walk barefoot on that electric line”

“Hold my beer–”

Probably confessed a hella lot of personal stuff to Thing without realizing it

(he’ll keep it to himself, he’s not suicidal)

If she tolerates a hug more than 5 seconds, she’s wasted

Enid:

Can hold her liquor for like three cups top – after that she’s a goner

Will deny she gets drunk

Switch between sad drunk, happy drunk, and cuddly drunk

Also will fight God in a fistfight on her 6th drink

Sad drunk Enid will cry her heart out and cuddle you over any random subject. Last episode of her favorite show? Yep. The caramel dessert at the cafeteria at lunch? Absolutely. Yoko wearing the same outfit as her at the last party? She’ll cry on your shoulder. Mommy issues? bOI bring the tissues.

Karaoke is a must do; don’t tempt her with a mic, you’ll have the full Taylor Swift discography blasted ‘til daylight

Came become suspicious of everyone on her top drunk state: she’ll be sure one of the guest is actually principal Weems in disguise

Probably had show her boobs on top of a table for fun (sober Wednesday had to pull her down)

Gets whiny when the alcohol starts to wear off

Already ended up asleep upside down in a bathtub – somehow always wakes up in her bed

Ajax:

Mildly light weight; can hold his beer as much as he wants, but anything stronger and he’s gone.

At 3 drinks he thinks he’s a good singer; at 5 he’ll demonstrate it (he’s not)

Definitely an affectionate drunk

Will hug anyone – anyone

The only person who had tackled Bianca Barclay into a surprise hug and lived

Bc drunk Ajax is a gentle giant too cute for his own good

Actually managed to get away after being busted by Ms Thornhill as he stumbled drunk in the school’s corridor

Asks the dumbest yet most legit questions

“So snakes are basically walking on their bellies?”

“D’you think Weems can have a baby with herself? I mean theoretically–”

“If I stone someone during sex and pull out, do I pull the sword out of the stone?”

Loves everyone, will die for everyone if you ask enough (just ask him)

Saw a bearded man once and hugged him while crying “Dumbledore, you’re alive!!”

Xavier and Yoko filmed the scene; it’s an official meme of Nevermore now

Harder drunker, so somehow the best at knowing all the tricks how to handle hangovers

Will leave ibuprofen and bottles of water in the bathroom every time the party’s in his room

Xavier:

Also familiar with fancy drinks (family dinners and all)

Ajax definitely made fun of him during their first time drinking together because of that

Will defy anyone in a drinking contest – will most likely win but at what cost

Knows when he’s drunk, will have another drink to celebrate it

Needs no more than 3 drinks to dramatically turn to Ajax singing like he’s a judge in The Voice

Hair has no rule anymore: past 5 drinks, Xavier will let anyone try any hair style on him – should he end up with a palm tree hairstyle (he definitely did. Multiple time.)

Instaured a socks race with Enid to establish a winner in beer pong in case it ends in a tie

The scale of drunken Xavier can be established by the corny nicknames he uses: babe, sweetheart? Getting tipsy. Muffin, baby doll? Drunk. Sexy cake, pudding, honeybun? Definitely drunk. Baby boo, Sugar pie? Bro you’re wasted af, drop this drink right now and stop trying to hit on the coat hanger.

Emotional drunk; the daddy issues WILL show and the emo playlist will be brought up.

Also somehow a bitchy drunk. Will make a gossip club with Yoko and Wednesday on the spot to bitch about every single guest while sipping mojitos and margaritas.

Bianca:

Will drown a bottle of tequila without blinking an eye and then recite an entire Shakespeare sonnet without stuttering

Slightly emotional drunk, but also a loud drunk

Like, legit sounds like Cardi B laughing while drunk – a hyena

Brutally honest with you, but more prone to help you after a few drinks

Dance monster on her 4th drink; don’t try to stop her getting on the dancefloor

Taster of every new mix by Yoko; she has excellent cocktail tastes

Will cry watching ‘Monsters Inc.’ on her 5th drink, will absolutely trash talk the little mermaid tho

The strongest drinker – it takes a lot to actually get her drunk

So she always end up being the referee to all drinking games (which she’s most likely to have instigated)

Have tons of pics of her friends during their drunken antics – goldmine.

Mama bear taking care of the drunk crew

Tyler:

No filter whatsoever

Will either broke down into tears or unleash anger

Would fight anyone too

Not a lightweight but doesn’t know how to handle the amount of liquor he’s drinking

Conspiracy theories after the 5th drink. So. much. theories.

Had improvised a drunk strip tease once; will not do that again (for free)

Actually received a lot of compliments after that

The official coffee supplier of the crew on hangovers

“Give me a pint of that coffee, Galpin”

Around 4am, he’s usually taken by the urge to stress/hangover clean everything. Will do all the dishes to sleep off the alcohol.

Will alternatively flirt or try to fight everyone, no middle ground

He’ll actually defend any of his drunk friends being harassed

High chances he’d join the bitch club too; Enid once photoshopped his, Xavier, and Yoko’s faces on the ‘Mean girls’ poster

(every one of them had secretly that printed in their locker)

Also a mother hen – at least he tries

Bonus: Principal Weems

Did indeed transform herself into a student to attend a party

Quickly understood why she preferred a glass of Chardonnay in her cozy office

The sole time she threw up after a party thanks to cheap vodka

Also had to purposefully ignore some students after that – some pictures can’t be erased

#wednesday #wednesday series #wednesday netflix #headcanon #crack headcanons #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #ajax petropolus #xavier thorpe #bianca barclay #tyler galpin #larissa weems

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murfpersonalblog · 8 months ago

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Unfortunately, the thing is that Jonah also couldn't be a proud gay black man--IN AMERICA. He had to enlist in the army during WWI--at risk of being deployed someplace godawful--just to get OUT of this stinking racist homophobic country, and be seen & treated more equally by society.

MANY gay black men and women fled America to Europe, where it was just safer & more lucrative for them, from Josephine Baker to James Baldwin.

It had nothing to do with Louis being a vampire or not. If you were caught being gay and black in the Jim Crow South, you could be beat up, jailed, or just killed.

The sad truth is that there was no good solution for Louis--and there was no hope for Louis & Jonah in a relationship, either. They hadn't seen in each other in years before 1917 (Ep3).

Jonah was able to leave & travel. Louis couldn't've gone with him--he'd been trapped in NOLA taking care of the DPDL estate since 1905.

We can assume that Jonah & the Macons were nowhere near as affluent as Louis & the DPDLs--especially cuz Louis was a mixed-race Creole with white ancestors and a fortune from owning a sugar plantation. There was no way in the world duty-bound Louis would've packed up and left the estate to collapse under the mentally ill Paul & the unmarried girl Grace--just to live with Jonah way up North & work cheap labor as a busboy/janitor in a Philly hotel, or have 3 of his fingers blown off in a Delaware gunpowder mill. Who would look after his family without Louis there to make them A LOT of money--enough to keep paying the church hefty "donations" to keep Paul busy/calm (instead of throwing him back in a mental asylum); and make sure Grace had a good dowry so she could get married; and keep Florence's banjo bands paid?

And we know Louis started running Storyville after Jonah had already left, cuz Jonah was shocked by Louis' success, "Mr Done Alright."

So Jonah wasn't there when Lestat came a'knockin--Paul was still suicidal, and if Louis hadn't become a vampire he would've died too--likely the same night as Paul's funeral, cuz Louis was also suicidal.

The real "what if" is what could've happened if Jonah had STAYED.

And it's bleak: Jonah was looking for work, but cuz Papa DPDL hadn't died yet, Louis was in no position to financially support Jonah, or his own family. He hadn't become the "Dark Prince of Iberville" yet. So Jonah would've been jobless, poor & destitute, likely for a long time--it took Louis 5 years to build his "small empire". Jonah was desperate & willing to do any hard but honest labor that would keep him fed & FREE--from gunpowerder mills, to WWI enlistment.

Would Jonah have approved of Louis becoming a pimp? Would he have urged Louis to stick to harder but more honest work, like just sticking to the smaller businesses he ran--earning only "nickels, dimes, quarters!"?

Louis & Jonah would've drifted apart HELLA fast, I reckon. Louis was way too ambitious, proud, and sorry to say it: SCUMMY. Candidates for vampirism are those who have just enough moral greyness in them to turn to the dark side and damn their souls for power. That's why the shift from slaveowner to pimp works so well.

There's also Louis' interesting reactions to seeing Lestat's vampirism (i.e.: tricks AND blatant crimes) in action, and being unfazed by it all (especially in the OG pilot script, where he had a much closer relationship with "Nawlins voodoo"). But Louis said Jonah freaked TF out when seeing proof of Louis' vampirism when they reunited decades later.

So I just don't see Jonah as having been at all cool with the dirty business of being a pimp, on top of the societal demands that would require both Louis AND Jonah to stay in the closet in order to maintain their status as respected businessmen in a world quick to use any excuse to see successful black men thrown in jail or killed. Jonah seems like way too much of a good egg, to have put up with Louis' nonsense for too long before leaving him behind anyway.

So we all know that Lestat's promise that turning Louis into a vampire will let him live his life "without apology" is a lie. Lestat has no understanding of how Louis will still need to navigate being a Black man in the U.S. and how that'll impact his life (even after he's a vampire).

But also, that's part of why having Jonah be a Black man, and specifically a Black man who Louis knew in his childhood, and even more specifically, a Black man comfortable with his own queerness...is such a good decision.

Because Jonah's existence in this story makes us, the audience, ask 'what if.' Like, here's an example of who Louis could have been if he'd never met Lestat. He could've had a human life where he was a proud gay Black man.

In episode 1, Louis says that being a gay Black man in New Orleans was impossible. And then in episode 3, Jonah comes in as a gay Black man and shows that actually there was a way to be himself without turning into a vampire.

Louis' deteriorating relationship with his sister does something similar. We see that she is actually quite accepting of Louis' as a gay man. All the problems in their relationship stem from him being a vampire. Which makes it so tragic...because it makes it pretty clear that he'd have been able to maintain his relationship with his sister if he'd been out with her as a human.

The more time passes, we see the life Louis could have had...and the life Louis wanted to have.

#louis de pointe du lac #louis de pointe du black #capitalism is evil #racism #racial inequality #lgbtqia+#iwtv tvc metas

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the-iceni-bitch · 3 years ago

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Killing Mrs. Pronge: Part 2/3

Pairing: Mr. Freezy x hit woman!reader (OTP)

Words: ~1.3k

Summary: You do your best to clean up Bobby’s mess.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (hand job), DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!! Child murder (off screen but it still happens), staged suicide, domestic violence, excessive alcohol consumption, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: Decided to make this three parts instead of just two, and this one is focusing on the cleanup after Bobby was a whole fool. Kitten is very pissed at our fave psycho daddy. This is hella dark y’all, be mindful!!! Next and final entry features our two murderers covering up to the cops and neighbors.

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

You tapped your foot irritably as you looked at the mess Bobby had left you with, frowning at him as he downed the rest of his scotch.

“Couldn’t fucking wait, could you?” You kicked the body that was sprawled across the floor. “That fucking temper of yours is gonna get us caught. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“She was fucking pregnant.” He groaned and ran a hand over his face while you started sweeping up the broken glass, avoiding making eye contact with you when you snapped your head up and snarled at him.

“How the fuck was she pregnant, Bobby?” You tossed the glass you had collected into the bin and stalked towards him. “Were you still fucking this bitch?”

“I wasn’t fucking her.” He grabbed your wrist when you tried to grip his chin and force his gaze to yours, growling when you climbed on top of him and gave him a shove. “She drugged me.”

“That dumb cunt drugged you and stole your cum so she could get knocked up?” You scoffed before releasing him and rising to your feet, scrubbing the scotch off the wall and carpet with a frustrated sigh. “Stupid and crazy is a bad fucking mix. And you fucking fell for it, like a goddamn moron.”

“Watch that fucking mouth, kitten.” He rose to his feet and swayed drunkenly, taking the discarded glass from you and moving to dispose of it outside.

“Fuck you, Bobby.” You stood up and frowned at him. “I’m not the one who lost it and left me with an obvious as fuck murder to clean up, you stupid fucking bast…”

He stepped forward and backhanded you, sneering when you whipped back around and punched him right in the jaw. You laughed mirthlessly when he staggered at the force of the blow, his inebriated state making it harder for him to hold his own if you decided to really take it out on him.

“I don’t have time for this shit.” You moved to grab some sheets from his linen closet and started shredding them. “If you’re not gonna help me fix this, go shove your head in some ice water and sober the fuck up. Did you hit her at all?”

“Just once, in the mouth.” He rubbed his jaw when he stood up, basically pouting at you and shaking his head to straighten himself out.

“Of fucking course you did.” You started braiding the shreds together to make a rope. “At least you’re already bruised up. Story is, she attacked you when you got home with no warning, you managed to fight her off and chalked it up to her drinking and mood swings. But then you woke up and she’d fucking hanged herself. I’ll work on a note, need a sample of her handwriting. Where’s the kid?”

“In his room.” He shrugged uncomfortably when you started winding your makeshift rope into a noose.

“He saw you?” You wrapped the noose around her neck and handed it to him so he could fling over the loft railing.

“Yes.” He took a deep breath as he started hoisting her up, wishing he could just sit and drain the bottle of scotch.

“Fucking amateur hour here.” You moved to grab your bag, digging through it and pulling out a small amber vial. “Guess I’ve just gotta do everything.”

You moved to the kitchen and poured a glass of milk, emptying the vial’s contents into it after you warmed it up. Bobby was still lifting his wife’s body over the bannister when you walked past him, rolling your eyes at his petulance while you moved towards his kid’s room.

A soft sniffle answered you when you knocked on the door, and you had to clench your jaw to keep from growling at the bull shit you had to put up with.

“Hey Billy.” You put on your best sympathetic face when you walked into the room, groaning internally at the complete panic that was written all over the boy’s face. “How ya doing, kiddo?”

“What happened to my mom?” Ugh, he looked like he was going to cry, you hated this shit.

“She just had a little accident.” This was not what you wanted to be doing, you were gonna kick Bobby’s ass once this was over. “She’s at the hospital right now, just wanted to help you calm down a little bit, then I’ll take you to see her, ok?”

“Ok.” He gave a soft hiccup and took the glass of milk from you, raising it to his lips after letting out a deep sigh and relaxing a bit.

It was five minutes later when you walked back out to the living room, cracking your neck as you grabbed a grocery list to start writing a fucking suicide note.

“It’s done?” Bobby sank onto the couch next to you with a groan, doing away with the glasses and drinking the scotch straight from the bottle.

“Yeah, no fucking witnesses.” You did your best to concentrate on the note. “This is such a fucking clusterfuck. You gonna be ok to call the cops?”

“Goddamn it.” He took another swig of scotch when you set the note on the coffee table. “Why can’t we just get rid of the fucking bodies?”

“Because I don’t feel like dealing with our gossipy as all fuck neighbors whispering about what might have happened and brining some nosy cop relative into things. This nips that in the bud with a nice, easy explanation: crazy wino kills herself and her son when she finds out she’s pregnant with a kid she doesn’t want.” You looked over at him and sighed at the rage and frustration that was written all over his face. “Shit, Bobby, c’mere.”

You crawled towards him and moved to straddle his lap, resting your forehead against his and tracing his jaw with your fingertips. He groaned when you slid a hand between the two of you to stroke his cock over his pants, leaning forward to nip at your lips while his hands curled around your hips.

“Baby, fuck.” He nuzzled into your throat when you undid his slacks and reached into them to wrap your hand around his dick. “Stay with me, I fucking need you.”

“God, you’re drunk.” You snorted when you got a look at the now completely empty bottle of scotch, moaning softly when he started to sloppily mouth at your chest. “I can’t stay, Bobby. But I’ll help you calm down, okay?”

“Please, ah… shit.” He whined into your neck before sucking a soft bruise against your throat, his hips bucking into your hand as he dug his fingers into your waist. “Kitten, that’s so fucking good.”

You rolled your eyes and swiped your thumb over his tip, stroking him faster while he groaned against your skin. His tongue dragged over your pulse as he fucked your fist, nibbling at your jaw when he felt his stomach start to twitch as you drew it out of him.

When you twisted your wrist, he let out a choked moan, running his hands up your back so he could press your tits to his face. He rubbed his face over your nipples, mouthing at them through the thin fabric of your shirt until it was soaked through.

One of your fingers glided over his frenulum and he lost it, growling into your chest and sinking his teeth into you as he shot his cum all over your fingers. You sighed when he kissed his was back up your neck, tucking him back in and redoing his fly before curling a hand around the back of his neck and kissing him deeply.

“Better?” You tilted his head back and waited for him to nod, running your fingers through his hair until he purred against your lips. “Clean up, sleep for a couple of hours, then call the cops. I’ll see you in the morning.”

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lotus-flowerz · 3 years ago

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Bennett X Reader

TW!!! SUICIDE ATTEMPT, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SELF HARM MENTIONS

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND STAY

SAFE <3

slight spoilers for bennett's vision story

Bennett comforts you after a suicide attempt

a/n- sorry for the lack of posts again, i've been hella busy with school, and also my mental health isn't great

also this is heavily self indulgent bc dont we love suicidal thoughts

You had just been released from Barbara's care in the cathedral earlier. The anger you felt at yourself was unmatched. How had you failed?? Who even found you??

You sat underneath the Windrise tree, pulling apart grass. Scars littered your arms and you didn't fully feel better from your overdose. You honestly didn't even wanna be alive, but alas, here you were. So, you had traveled to the one spot that comforted you.

You were still deep in thought, contemplating trying again, when you heard leaves crunch under someone's footsteps.

"Who's there?" you snapped, your voice hoarse and almost gone from crying and puking up all the pills you had taken. You drew your weapon, ready to strike, when a familiar blonde boy came up behind you.

"Y/n.." he breathed, not sure of what to say.

"Bennett."

You remember now- he was the one who had found you, and carried you to the cathedral, screaming for help at the top of his lungs. That was a week ago- and since you hadn't been allowed visitors, this was your first time seeing each other since then.

Bennett rushed over and threw his arms around you, squeezing you as hard as he could.

You felt tears rush forward, threatening to spill. Bennett pulled away from the hug and put his hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes.

"Never do that again.. please. Archons- I cannot lose you."

"I'm sorry." you whispered, choking back tears.

"Hey- don't cry! It's alright, I'm here now." he pulled you back into a hug.

"I was going to try again." you whispered.

You felt his grip tighten on you.

"No.. please, Archons, please don't," he pulled away from the hug to wipe your tears away, "Can I tell you a story please?"

You nodded, and he pulled you onto his lap to lay on him. He softly stroked your hair as he began to tell you the story of how he obtained his vision.

"...And I guess I lost consciousness at some point. I knew that I probably wasn't going to make it. I realized as I passed out, that I wanted to live, desperately. But as my eyesight went dark, I knew that was wishful thinking. I had already lost a ton of blood, and I was far from home. But, I woke up. And I woke up holding my vision. And as I gathered my thoughts, I realized something. My vision was glowing in time with my pulse, which signaled that I had survived. My clothes were bloodstained, and the large gash that I had obtained had somehow closed up and left a large scar, but I was alive."

"So you got your vision because of your determination to live?"

"Yeah! And I'll be honest, before that, I genuinely wanted to die. My bad luck was too much and it felt like the world was against me. But as I felt myself dying, I realized that that wasn't what I wanted at all."

"I'm glad you lived." you whispered.

"Me too. And I'm glad you lived as well."

You were silent. Bennett sighed when he realized you weren't fully convinced.

"Right now, you're surviving. One day, you will be living. Can I see your wrist for a second?"

You held it out to him, and you felt his fingers press down in the middle.

"Can you feel that? You're alive. You may be tired, and you may not want to be alive, but your very own pulse is a reminder that you were put here for a reason. You have a purpose, Y/n. You can't die yet because there's so much you haven't done yet."

He released your wrist and instead of lowering it you grabbed his wrist as well.

"Yeah, I'm alive too. Isn't it wonderful? Because I survived my accident and because you survived your attempt to take your life, we're sitting under a tree watching the sunset together. Because we lived. And we will continue to live. And one day, when we're old and our actual time comes, we will be grateful that we survived."

A few tears escaped your eyes again as you realized that he was right. You felt him scoop you up and bring you closer to him. He held you tightly as if you would disappear on him. He wiped more of your tears away and kissed your forehead.

You could hear his heartbeat as he held you tightly. He really was alive. You reached up and cupped his cheek, bringing his face in to kiss him. He kissed you back softly, tears collecting in his own eyes.

"I will continue to live, Bennett. My pulse and your pulse will be my reminder. I am alive, and I deserve to live. Although it may take me time to believe it, someday I will truly live, and not just survive."

He rested his forehead against yours, letting a tear escape from his eye.

"And I will be there with you, every step of the way."

#bennett fluff #bennet hurt/comfort #genshin comfort #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #bennett #bennett genshin impact #bennett x reader

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electronswrites · 3 years ago

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I Wonder

What the average grave shift differential is in Gotham City. I mean there's no way people are agreeing to work the night shift in Gotham City for the paltry extra 80 cents an hour we make at my job. Don't get me wrong, that extra 40 bucks a week is hella worth it for me, but I don't live in Gotham City.

I'm just imagining the Wayne Industries board of directors meeting with Union representatives to work out the new contract and it's like: "Yeah, we want double pay for grave shift." and at first the board literally thinks the union is fucking with them, but it's like: "No, they won't work the grave shift for any less than that. It's not worth your life!"

Like obviously the severity of the issue is going to vary from industry to industry, but I really do think that security guards are not going to agree to work grave shift in Gotham City unless they're suicidal or making bank. That shit is scary even in normal("normal") cities, okay? A pizza delivery guy almost gave me a heart attack one time; everything is creepy at 4:00 a.m. Even if you work in a warehouse or third shift custodial or something like that, you're in an almost entirely empty building at 2:00 in the morning in Gotham City. You spend all night praying Killer Croc doesn't show up and gank your ass.

Don't get me started on the emotional toll of having to see the Batman and Boy Wonder jumping around from building to building every damn night. Imagine you get hired at Wayne Industries, and you're going to be in an entry position, fucking sweet, you get to sit down for 8 hours; life is good. Then your boss tells you that if a giant man dressed all in black with bat ears sticking from his head shows up in the building, just ignore that shit; don't even radio it in. Oh, and if a little kid dressed like a traffic light shows up: same rules apply. Fucking excuse me?? Then on your third day you're getting trained to work the barrier gates, and a giant purple truck with a replica of the Joker's head on top of it pulls up. Your trainer hits the e-stop and then runs for the hills, and you're sitting there like: What the fuck is going on?!

You're 6 months into the job and you're doing your hourly firewatch at the D2 trailer or whatever and then a freaking middle schooler in green underoos goes running past you, but you can't call that in to the Comm Center, because your manager already told you three times not to call in cape shit anymore. So you just say a quick prayer for this poor little child soldier and hope that the old adage about God loving drunks, idiots and small children is true, because this kid is definitely batting two out of three and so is the Batman probably if he thinks that shit's fucking acceptable.

Yeah, so grave shift in Gotham is probably wild.

#dc comics #batman #gotham city #by electrons

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lovely-ateez · 4 years ago

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Favorite Place~

ꕥPosted: 3/8/21

ꕥGenre: College!au, Angst, Fluff

ꕥPairing: FemReader! x Emo!Hongjoong

ꕥWord Count: ~4.8k

ꕥWarnings: General angst (happy ending), Unknown man being creepy to reader, Characters insulting reader behind her back, Alcohol intake, Driving with a few sips of alcohol (please don’t drink and drive), Implied violence, Language, Oral (f recieving), Unprotected sex, Corruption kink, Language

ꕥA/N: Reader is a girly-girl bc we need more rep that isn’t hella negative and to actually be portrayed as smart and hardworking for once 😤 You👏can👏be👏both👏 ANyWay—thank you for bearing with me while I wrote this

I ran my hands along the open science textbook laying upon my desk, eyes scanning rapidly over the information. The pages were thin and flimsy, clearly showing the book’s age. If I wasn’t careful, the pages would rip with ease. Not that I had time to actually think about that.

In less than five minutes I, along with the twenty five other poor souls who took this class of their own volition, would be handed our last final for the class. A hundred and ten questions in an hour and thirty minutes.

The class was basically academic suicide and had I been told that, I would have stayed far, far away from the class. But no. No one bothered to run that by me.

A whiff of familiar cologne filled my nose and against my better judgement I looked up to find the class genius, Hongjoong Kim. It was bad enough that he was smart as a whip and never needed to study, but on top of it all he was a dangerous, handsome, irresistible bad boy.

He gave me a wink, a sly smile resting on his lips. I gave him the same reaction I always did: a blank face. There had been multiple times he had tried to rile me up, whether that be say something flirty or wink, or “accidentally” touch my shoulder, and I refused to give him the satisfaction of any reaction. I would keep a blank face, hoping that he would leave me alone.

I wasn’t immune to his charms. I felt butterflies in my stomach every time he looked at me just like any other girl he tried it on, but I didn’t want him to know that. The biggest reaction I had given him was an eyebrow quirk at most.

I could tell it bothered him. I knew he was frustrated that he couldn’t get me to blush or stutter my words, and that may have been part of why he kept up his antics. Probably the entire reason, knowing him. Had he not been a fuckboy, I might have fallen for him. Might have.

I returned my eyes to my book and heard his footsteps walk past me, headed to the very back of class. His usual spot.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen,” A loud clap could be heard from the front of the room, our professor signalling the start of class, “It is time for your final. I hope you all are well prepared. I ask that you remove anything from your desk aside from a pencil and I will begin to hand out the tests. You may leave as you finish, just make sure to hand me your tests before you leave. Good luck.”

Book already off my desk, I gripped my pencil, hoping six hours of studying was enough.

“Thank you.” I muttered to my professor as he placed the stack of papers on my desk.

Here goes nothing, I suppose.

I handed in my test with a smile, hoping that I’d pass. Taking a deep breath I stepped out of the classroom, seeing a familiar face. At the noise of my footsteps Hongjoong looked up from his phone with a devilish smile, eyes staring me down. I must’ve not noticed he turned in his test before mine, not that I was surprised. He always finished his test the quickest out of all of us.

“How’s it going, pretty-in-pink?”

Pink was my favorite color and and I wore pink clothes often, unfortunately it had earned me several unwanted nicknames, all coming from Hongjoong.

I barely bothered him a glace, “I have a name.”

“But your nicknames are so unique to you. Don’t you love them?”

“Can’t say I do.” I walked away, not interested in entertaining him any longer than I already had.

“Farewell, princess.” He fleeted me with a honey-like voice.

Suppressing an eye roll, I gripped the straps of my backpack, ecstatic to get away from him. The more time I spent away from him the better. The less time I was with him meant there was less of a chance for me to get attached to him. I refused to let that happen.

After I left the building I grabbed a coffee and walked to the library, bracing the cold weather. I only had one final left and I needed to make sure I studied enough. Just one last push before I was done for the semester. Taking the elevator up to the third floor, I saw a familiar face who smiled at me and I sat down at his table.

“Hey! How do you think you did on the final?” Lia asked me as I took my laptop out.

“Honestly I don’t know. I don’t want to say I passed because knowing my luck, if I do I’ll fail it. I knew the majority of the answers though, so there’s that.”

“That’s a positive.” She cocked her head, observing the way my eyes were glued to my laptop, “So what are you studying for now?”

“Criminal Psychology. I don’t take it until late tomorrow but I wanna get some studying in.”

“You’ve been studying for hours, you’ll be fine. Let’s just go shopping instead.”

My ears perked and I slowly raised my head, “Damn you. You know I’m not gonna turn you down.”

A wide smile formed on her face as she placed her hands behind her head, “What are friends for?”

“Oh don’t look so cocky.”

“Why not? I’m pretty sure I’ve won here. Now let’s get going.”

Lia stood up and slid on her backpack, a smile still plastered on her face. Just as I was placing my laptop in my own backpack I heard a string of male voices and a mention of my name.

I gave Lia a look and, curiosity taking over, I snuck closer to the direction of the voices to see a group of men at a table hid behind a large stack of bookshelves. There were four of them, not a one of them sitting properly in a chair. Two were sitting on top of the table, another with his legs propped on the table, the other sitting upon a backpack which itself was on a chair. I could only see two of their faces and didn’t recognize either.

“We’ve gotta invite the token good girl, right?” A tall man with dark hair smiled, leaning back on the table.

A man with distinct dimples, clad in all black scoffed, “Y/n? Like she’d go to a party anyway.”

“She might.” Hongjoong tiled his head, allowing me to see him, black earrings swaying as he looked at the man with dimples.

Oh. He’s there, too.

“She dresses like she still believes in the tooth fairy.” A man with a blonde ponytail scoffed, “You think she’s gonna come to a party with people like us?”

I grabbed Lia’s arm to prevent her from storming over. She was upset, I was too, but I wanted to keep listening. Still, I couldn’t deny the pang of hurt I felt as I looked down at my pink skirt and cropped top. Was it a crime to like the color pink?

And I thought I looked cute today...

“You should be the last person to judge someone over the way the dress, Yeosang. You never wear anything but black. If she likes it, then she likes it. Fuck you.” Hongjoong bit back.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t know why he defended me, maybe he was just defending fashion for fashion’s sake and it had nothing to do with me, but it was still nice of him.

Yeosang smiled, “Damn someone’s aggressive, huh? Someone might almost think you’ve got feelings for the girl.”

Hongjoong remained silent.

“Ooh is she still not reacting to your desperate attempts to woo her?”

Hongjoong quickly became defensive, “Listen, I’m not-”

“Okay we’re not getting into this. Just invite her, you never know what she’ll say.” The dark-haired man said to Hongjoong, “And invite her friend, too. She wouldn’t go alone.”

“Yeah that’s a fair point. I’ll talk to them next time I see them.”

I turned to face Lia, whispering in her ear, “Let’s go. Please.”

Her face told me that she would much rather confront them, but changed as my eyes began to water once more. She nodded and put an arm around me, leading me out of the library.

A tear fell down my cheek as we walked. I raised my hand to wipe my face when Lia did it for me. She pulled me into a tight hug, running her hands through my hair.

“Don’t you think for a second that you’re any less of amazing. Fuck them for not seeing it.”

As she spoke more tears began to fall and my breath hitched, “But-t they-”

“No. There’s no excuse for being shitty to you, especially when you haven’t done anything to wrong them.”

I nodded, trying my best to believe her and steady my breathing.

“What can I do for you? What can I do to help?”

Releasing Lia from my tight grip I stepped back and looked in her eyes, “Nothing. Let’s just go shopping.”

My friend nodded and slipped her hand into my own, something she would always do when I needed comfort. I squeezed her warm hand, following her footsteps as she led me to her car.

“So...you’re not gonna go to the party are you?”

“Yeah I don’t think so.”

She let out a hum in approval and nodded, opening the car door for me.

As much as I wanted to take my mind off of the boys’ words, I couldn’t. No amount of retail therapy seemed to help that. I knew Lia was doing her best to make me feel better and I felt a bit guilty for bringing down the mood. She scoffed when I told her, making eye contact and emphasizing that she simply wanted to make me feel better.

Sooner than I liked, we had to part. Lia had a class in thirty minutes and I had to help out in an on-campus activity. She gave me a tight hug and a small smile, bidding me adue.

I was the Vice President of our Activities Planning Board and as such was in charge of setting up an Academic Bowl for the competing students. Unfortunately, I was having trouble setting up the large tables and my small frame just made it harder. I was confident anyone around could see that I was struggling and I huffed, hoping no one would look my way. It didn’t help that I was outside in the middle of campus, where anyone just walking by could see me.

“Do you need any help?”

I turned to find Hongjoong with his dark backpack slung over his shoulder, a concerned look on his face. Had I not desperately needed help, I would have refused.

“Yeah I do. Hold this, will you?” I nodded at the opposite side of the table I was struggling to hold.

He appeared shocked that I accepted his offer, but I didn’t dwell on it and instead lifted the table. We worked in silence aside from a few words of instruction I gave him, and I was thankful for the lack of distraction. When we set up the last table I placed my hands on my hips, looking at the tables.

Hongjoong crossed his arms, “Why were you doing this alone?”

“No one else signed up to help for the Academic Bowl, so I did it myself.” He gave a confused look so I clarified my position.

“Of course you’re the Vice President.” Hongjoong muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I faced him, feeling slightly offended.

He shrugged, “I know you’re just involved in a lot. I’m not surprised.”

Ignoring his comment, I took the conversation another direction. “Why did you help me?”

“You needed help, princess.” He answered simply.

I nodded, ignoring the nickname. “Well...thanks.”

A moment of silence followed until Hongjoong broke it, “Hey listen, there’s a party this weekend I want you to go.”

“Why?” I cocked my head.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know anyone that will be there.”

“You know me.”

“That’s not exactly an incentive.”

He scoffed in mock offense, “Okay first of all, ouch. Second, what if I sweeten the deal?”

My eyebrows raised, lips forming a smile, “Oh yeah? What could that possibly be?”

He faltered for a moment, his voice lowering seemingly without intent, “That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile. You’re beautiful.”

I turned from him, trying to will any semblance of a flustered expression off my face. “You were saying before?”

Hongjoong chuckled, “I’ll drive. You can even invite your friend if you want.”

“Lia?”

“Yeah. If it makes you more comfortable.”

At first, I wanted to say no. At first, I wanted to continue my streak of refusing any advance he made on me. But looking at his kind eyes, completely devoid of any malintent, I felt my heart flutter. When my mind thought back to how he had defended me in the library I felt a warmth bubbling in my chest. I pretended to ponder for a moment, even though I already knew my answer.

“Okay but I don’t...I don’t think I should tell Lia.”

“Why’s that?”

“She kinda hates you.”

He looked taken aback, “Might I ask why?”

I sighed, crossing my arms, “Don’t worry about it. So where is this party?”

He filled me in on the details and I did my best to keep up my neutral façade. I wouldn’t admit it, but I was ecstatic to see him outside of campus, my will of staying away from him faltering by the minute.

I stood in front of my closet for what seemed like hours, desperately trying to find something that would match the occasion. I laughed a bit to myself as I looked at the section of black clothes I had. I went through a bit of an emo phase in middle school and I just couldn’t bring myself to get rid of any of them. I debated avoiding black clothes all together, but the words of Yeosang rang in my head and I bit the inside of my cheek.

Fine. I’ll change it up. But I’ll be damned if I give up on pink.

Taking a deep breath I slipped into a light pink leather skirt reaching mid-thigh with black fishnets. I put on a black leather jacket over my black see through shirt exposing my lacy bra underneath, my pink shoes on last.

I took several deep breaths and observed myself in the mirror. It was a change, definitely. I didn’t mind black, but I wouldn’t wear just black alone. I wanted it to be more feminine.

I heard a car horn outside my apartment much sooner than I expected. Bracing for Hongjoong’s reaction, I stepped outside. I was greeted with a smug smile, the man adorning it seeming as confident as a god until he observed my clothes, his eyebrows raising.

Hongjoong’s eyes scanned over me, taking in my abrupt fashion change, “I still wasn’t entirely certain you’d go. Much less looking like this.”

My lips quirked into half-smile, “Well I can’t show up looking like I normally do.”

“Why not?”

My heart swelled at the genuine confusion evident on his face. “Some people don’t care for the way I dress.” I took a breath and continued, “I heard you and your friends in the library.”

I forced myself to look him in the eyes. I could see the gears turning in his head as he put the pieces together, a scowl forming on his face. “You don’t have to change a goddamn thing. You look great, don’t get me wrong, but you look great in pink, too. And I’m sorry if he made you feel otherwise.”

I shook my head. “It’s alright, I actually kinda like it.”

“You definitely make it work.” He swallowed, voice lowering.

“Then maybe I should wear a bit of black more often.”

The man gave a thousand dollar smile, quirking a brow that left my panties feeling slightly damp. He motioned to the car door, “Hop in, cutie.”

A friendly string of conversation followed us as Hongjoong drove. I felt my nerves starting to dissipate, his smile I once despised now bringing me comfort. And really, he was much funnier than I had believed. I found myself laughing with him more than I had in a long time. I knew my walls were falling, but I wasn’t trying to fight it anymore.

Why the hell not? He’s kind enough, and he isn’t even close to being hard on the eyes.

The car drive was much quicker than I expected, although how quickly I was unfamiliar with my surroundings through me for a loop. The trees around us became more sporadic and the sun set quicker than what seemed normal. I fidgeted slightly, prompting Hongjoong to look over at me. He intertwined my fingers with his own and I smiled, secretly welcoming his touch.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m right here with you, okay?”

I nodded, grasping onto his hand tightly. Before I knew it, my eyes locked with the building in front of us. I took in the abandoned building in front of me, eyes widening slightly as I observed its poor condition. Large windows were shattered, vines were growing around pillars, grass peaking through what once was concrete.

“This is the most sketchy place I’ve ever seen in my life.” I spoke, feeling slightly alarmed by the building but comforted by Hongjoong’s presence.

“Oh come on, it’s not that bad.”

“I literally just saw a rat run out a broken window.”

Hongjoong suppressed a smile and let go of my hand, opening his car door and telling me to stay in place as he walked around and opened the door on my side. I hesitated as I exited the car, a bit afraid of what could possibly be inside the building.

“We can leave at anytime. If you don’t want to go in we can leave right now. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

As sweet as he was being, I felt the need to prove to him that I was brave enough to enter, even if it did look like he was leading me to my death.

“Thank you, but I’m okay. We can go in.”

He smiled, leading me to an out-of-the-way entrance which seemed to lead to a different building entirely. I gave an involuntary “woah” as we entered the building. As horrific as it looked on the outside, it was gorgeous on the inside. Perfectly up kept brick walls hugged the sides of the building, lights were strung from the ceiling, arcade machines and dart boards were huddled in a corner, and of course, there was a bar with a seemingly unlimited amount of liquor. People were scattered all throughout, socializing and being generally loud. Everyone wore about the same color clothes as Hongjoong, dark as they could possibly get.

“How did you even find this place?”

“My friend Yeosang and I were just driving around and we found it one day. Decided to make it our hangout spot.”

I looked at him confused, still amazed at my surroundings. Hongjoong led me over to his familiar group of friends, assuring me that they wouldn’t bite, and introduced me to the seven men, four of which I hadn’t seen prior. I saw the color drain from a few of their faces as they saw me, likely from their words in the library, but I didn’t comment on it. Overall, they were much friendlier than I expected them to be.

“I’m gonna get a drink,” Hongjoong nudged me, “You want anything?”

“No that’s okay. I think I’m gonna check out the pinball machines. They look kinda cool.”

“You sure you don’t wanna stay by my side? I won’t take long.”

I shook my head, “I’ll be okay.”

He chucked, “Alright. I’ll grab a drink and I’ll head right over, princess.”

I bit my lip at the nickname and wandered over to the machines, surprisingly feeling comfortable in the environment, despite everything being so unfamiliar. All of the games were being used, some people clearly playing better than others.

I got lost in the artwork on the side of a particular pinball machine when a gruff voice caught my attention. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing here?”

I turned to meet a tall man with grey hair. He was young, likely in his mid-twenties, and reeked of cigarettes and a foul smell I couldn’t place.

A flash of fear ran through me and I tried to make my voice as confident as possible, “I was invited.”

“Well...that’s certainly a shame now, isn’t it? I wasn’t invited, but I decided to show up for a bit of fun anyway.”

He came closer to me, our height difference incredibly prominent as he leaned over me, “How about you give me a kiss, little thing?” I ran away as soon as the words left his mouth, hoping that he wouldn’t follow me but assuming he would. I dashed around quickly and sporadically around people, hoping I would lose him.

I looked around desperately for Hongjoong, sighing when I found him surrounded by his friends, laughing at something one of them said. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm, gaining his attention.

I hope this fucking works.

“I need you to kiss me.”

A look of confusion flashed in his eyes, “What?”

“Please kiss me.” I begged, eyes wide, disregarding the stares of his friends around us, hoping that if the man saw I was taken he’d leave me alone.

Without hesitation he wrapped his free hand around my waist—a cup of alcohol still in the other—and pulled me close, pressing his lips to my own. He kissed me hard, biting my bottom lip slightly and letting out a growl only I could hear. He wasn’t my first kiss, far from it, but no one had ever kissed me like he did. Just a kiss had never left me feeling weak at the knees. Just a kiss had ever made me feel so submissive, making me want to beg him to take me right on the spot, regardless of the fear in my veins. Even with the taste of alcohol still on his lips, his scent overtook me.

He pulled back, eyes darker than before, and raised a brow, “Care to tell me what that was about?”

Just then I realized my hands had been gripping his leather coat, pulling him just as close as he was pulling me. I looked over in the direction of where the man was before, not seeing him.

“A man was following me and he was trying to get me to kiss him a-and I didn’t know him...I just wanted him to leave me alone.”

His eyes narrowed at my words, a rage I hadn’t seen before taking over them, “What did he look like?”

“I-I don’t know he was tall and had grey hair and-”

He cursed under his breath. Keeping me just as close he turned to the men around him, their eyes narrowed as well.

“You heard that?” He asked his friends.

“Loud and clear.” San said, cracking his knuckles, a scowl on his face that scared me, even though I knew I wasn’t the one it was directed at.

“I thought we told him to never come back here.” Jongho snarled.

“We did.” Hongjoong said.

Seonghwa looked at me, nodding to Hongjoong, “Keep her safe and take her out of here. If he’s here I’m sure he’s brought friends. Yeosang, lead everyone out. We’ll take care of him.”

Hongjoong looked conflicted, obviously wanting to stay and fight, but gave into the older man’s command. “Be fucking safe,” he barked, but I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked at me, “Come on, we’re going.”

Seonghwa mumbled something to Hongjoong and he nodded in response, tossing his alcohol to the ground. I didn’t have time to ask questions as he led me out a back door, the darkness of the night equally horrifying and comforting, and quickly pushed me into his car, apologizing the entire time. He entered the key into the ignition and the car sprung to life.

“Uhh...maybe it’s not a good idea for you to drive. You’ve been drinking, right?”

“I had maybe two sips. I’ll drive safe, promise.”He gave me a small comforting smile, “Put your seatbelt on. Hold on tight, sweetheart.” His voice was calm but firm as he spoke. I nodded and did as he said, bracing as his car sped off, my heart beating in overtime.

The ride was a blur, the only things I could remember being Hongjoong’s calming voice, periodically reassuring me that things would be okay. We arrived at a foreign building which Hongjoong called his house, and only then did I let myself fall apart. I felt tears streaming down my face as my hands quivered, my head beginning to pound.

“Hey, hey look at me. You’re safe. You’re safe with me.” My teary eyes met his and I felt my heart break at the way he was looking at me, as if he had made me cry himself.

“Here, come on. Let’s get you inside, okay?”

My tears slowed as he carefully led me inside his house, sitting me down on his bed. He crouched down in front of me, wiping the tears from my face.

“I’m so sorry, princess. I didn’t realize he was going to be there. I never should’ve made you come along I’m so-”

“Who was that?”

Hongjoong sighed, “He used to be a friend of mine. We had a falling out and he became violent. One time he showed up at one of our parties with some friends of his to start a fight. We won and told him to never come back. Looks like he did.” He looked off into nowhere, regret clear on his face.

“You didn’t know,” I sniffled, “You couldn’t have known.”

I watched the muscles in his jaw tighten, his agitation still visible. I brought a hand out to reach his own, trying to comfort him. The loud ding of Hongjoong’s phone made me jump and he apologized profusely. As he took out his phone from his pants pocket I looked around his room for the first time. It looked exactly as I had expected, solid black furniture and so many band posters decorating the wall I could hardly tell what color his bedroom walls were.

Hongjoong spoke up, “I just got a text from Seonghwa. There were two other people there with him. My friends took care of them don’t worry, you’re safe.”

I nodded, pulling him into a hug and burying my face into his chest. “If you’re comfortable with it,” He started, “I’d like you to stay here. I want to know you’re safe.”

My eyes met his as he moved a hair out of my face, “I’m not pressuring you. If you don’t want to I understand.”

A hand of his ran up and down my back, tracing little patterns here and there, and I realized just how much I wanted to be with him.

“If it’s alright with you, I’d like to stay.”

He laughed, “What do you mean ‘if it’s alright with you’ I asked.”

I bit my bottom lip and looked down, a bit embarrassed.

Hongjoong laughed, “Hey, look at me.” He said in a commanding yet sweet tone that made my thighs press together. I glanced back up at him, his handsome features making me feel dizzy.

He chuckled, “What’s that look for? You got something to say to me?”

I hesitated, “Actually, I do have a question.”

“Which is?”

“Why did you chase after me?”

Hongjoong smiled, “You never gave a reaction to anything I tried. It confused me and piqued my curiosity. So I began to watch you and how you interacted with people. You’re gentle and sweet. You’re innocent and haven’t let the world tear you down. I admire that.”

He leaned closer to me, his lips brushing my ear, “And it turned me on beyond belief. I wondered how I could ruin you, thought about how I could turn you into a quivering mess as you beg for me.”

I shivered and pulled back slightly to look him in the eyes. His beautiful, dark eyes. Hongjoong let out a dark chuckle as he sat on his bed, lifting me on his lap. He gave an eyebrow raise and a crooked smile as my breath hitched while looking at him, taking him in.

How did I never notice how his dark hair falls to one side when he cocks his head and how he looks so endearing when it happens? How did I never pay attention to his soft pink lips that give way to his gorgeous smile and how much I’ve been dying to kiss them all this time? How did I not see the way his eyes form crescents when he smiles, making my heart grow ten times over?

Why did I never think to take note of how his deep voice makes my stomach do somersaults? Why was I so unaware of his tongue piercing that was leaving me wonder how it would feel on my skin? Why didn’t I observe the black painted nails of his that were currently dancing along my thighs, giving me goosebumps?

How and why did I never notice him?

“You’re such a good girl.”

And for the first time around him, I flushed.

He chuckled, “Oh? You like that?”

I nodded quickly and he said it again, smiling as my face heated up once more.

“It’s so good to see you react to what I say. I wonder...” Hongjoong leaned closer to me, “How will you react when you’re underneath me? Squirming and begging for me to touch you?”

I gave him a look of desperation and balled his shirt into my fist, trying to move him closer, “Please.”

Hongjoong lifted me off of him, quickly discarding my clothes followed by his own shirt. My eyes were guided down by his abs and I ran a hand across them without thinking, whimpering quietly.

“Is my baby girl getting needy?” He cooed.

I closed my eyes, once again nodding in embarrassment.

“How about we take care of that?”

He laid me down on the soft sheets of his bed, leaving me in anticipation as he pinned my hands above my head with a hand of his own. My eyes widened and he chuckled, running a single finger along my folds.

“You’re so unbelievably fucking wet...do I turn you on that much?”

I let out a small “yes” and he hummed in response. Placing a few kisses upon my lips, Hongjoong slowly entered two fingers into me and my back arched. His fingers curled, hitting a spot inside of me that’d I’d never been able to reach. I spread my legs as far as they could go, pleading for more, feeling tears prick my eyes.

Hongjoong spoke, his voice already dropping several octaves, “Keep your hands here, understand? I don’t want you moving them.”

I nodded, willing my hands to stay in place as his own moved to my hips, leaving kisses along my inner thighs.

“Hongjoong please.”

“Please what, princess?”

“Please touch me.”

“Oh, I think I can do better than that, don’t you?”

His lips attached to my core, tongue running through my folds and nose hitting my clit as I moaned pathetically. His hands held my hips down as I tried to buck them up, barely able to keep my hands above my head. After what felt like years, his mouth finally reached my clit and I cried out as his lips attached to it, sucking hard and leaving kitten licks. My high built up quickly and I came hard, my hands leaving their spot and pulling slightly on his hair.

“Thought I told you to keep your hands above your head, no?”

I mumbled an apology and he leaned over to kiss me, “You’re forgiven, darling.”

He seemed just as impatient as I was and without much begging the rest of his clothes were off, his dick teasing my entrance.

“God Hongjoong please I need you so bad.”

“I need you too, y/n.”

He fully entered me, cursing as he did so. I was so caught up in the feeling of him inside of me that I didn’t even register him asking me a question until he laughed at me.

“Feeling good, baby? Can’t even speak?”

I whimpered, nodding seeming to be the only thing I could manage to do. I felt his member twitch inside of me and I pleaded for him to fuck me, to give me anything. Hongjoong growled and jerked his hips up into me over and over, leaving me a moaning mess.

“Taking me so well, aren’t you? Such a good girl for me.”

The amount of praise he gave me caused a few tears to fall from my eyes, not realizing how bad I needed it until that moment. My walls clenched around him every time, causing him to groan and snap his hips into me even harder. Hongjoong’s eyes grew hazy, his dark hair sticking to his forehead.

“I’m close, darling. Be my good girl and cum for me”

His hand trailed down to my clit, rubbing tiny circles. My back arched as I came in time with him, our breaths synchronizing as we gasped for air.

He slowly pulled out of me and ran to the bathroom to grab a towel, cleaning me up. Hongjoong giggled and I raised a brow at him.

“I never thought you’d give me a chance. It’s almost like I’ve corrupted you.”

“You have. Aren’t you aware of the party I went to because of you? I almost died.”

Hongjoong laughed as he crawled into bed and pulled blankets over the both of us. He ran a hand through my hair, looking at me fondly, “You did not almost die.”

“Okay yeah but I could have. That’s what we should be focusing on here.”

“I think there’s something else I’d like to focus on.”

Hongjoong pulled me into a deep kiss, hand slithering down to my waist. His kisses trailed to my ear, a slight chuckle leaving his lips, “My pretty princess.”

I looked at him with doe eyes, slightly in awe of him, and wondered how I could’ve pushed him away for so long. I knew for certain that I had no intention of doing so ever again.

When I told him he smiled, “Good. You’ve had a grip on my heart since day one. I’d be a fool to let you get away from me.”

I blushed slightly, much to his entertainment. We snuggled up to each other in silence, listening to the sound of our synchronized breathing as I lulled to sleep, our warm fingers intertwined. My dreams filled of him.

“Sleep well, my princess. I’ll be right here when you wake.”

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blackmissfrizzle · 4 years ago

Text

Just Right (2)

Part 1

Characters: Angel Reyes x black!plussized!reader

Chapter Summary: As he gets trained Angel starts feeling feelings.

Chapter Warning: Fluff, smut

A/N: Again shoutout to @starrynite7114 for being a wonderful friend, sounding board, and muse. Thank you girlie 😘

A/N (2): Since I got a chapter left, I’m gonna post one chapter a day.

If you want to check out more of my work here’s my masterlist and if you want to be notified here’s my taglist.

Divider Cred: @firefly-graphics

Photo Cred: @blessedboo

Angel was wrong and you were right. He hated you. While he was dying from the suicides you made him do you were standing there eating a taco and drinking water.

“Ain’t that enough?” Angel looked up at you during his break. “Nah, you’re gonna keep running until I feel skinny.” You took another bite of the taco.

“You’re fucking evil.” He lifted himself up for the next round torture. “I mean you could always use the safe word.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

Angel glared at you for your suggestion. He promised himself he would never speak Adelita’s name again and that’s why he decided to use it as his safe word during training. That way he wouldn’t give up. “Fuck no!” He shivered and started running again.

That’s exactly how training went for weeks. You push Angel until he voiced his hatred for you and then you pushed him some more. But in the evenings, you were each other’s company except for the occasional appearance by his brother and dad.

During this time Angel got to appreciate you more. You were attractive, funny, smart, and kind. How in the hell did he not see that before?

He was down in his garage working on his bike when you entered. “I always wanted to know what was in here.”

Angel shifted his gaze from his bike to you. He had to hold back a groan. Dressed in an oversized T-shirt of his team and shorts, a messy bun and your glasses with a plate of cookies in your hand you looked delectable. Again, he questioned himself on how Adelita was the one to capture his attention when you were right there all along.

“Ummmmm…cars.”

“Okay, smartass.” You chuckled as you rounded the corner. There you found Angel crouched on the ground working on a motorcycle. You weren’t able to see it earlier due to one of his cars blocking it. “Oh my god,” your fingers caressed the vehicle. “I didn’t know you had a bike.”

This wasn’t something Angel was used to. None of the women he dealt with including Adelita shared an interest in it. “Yeah, she’s my pride and joy.”

Finally standing up you got to enjoy Angel’s shirtless body. Yeah, he’s worked out shirtless before and you had to keep your composure then, but this, this was different. Maybe it had to do with him working with his hands or maybe it was because of his low-slung jeans that hugged his hips. Either way you were a mess.

Taking a deep breath, you purged your mind of any dirty thoughts of Angel Reyes. “Dude, you gotta take me for a ride.”

“Yeah?” Angel smiled at you, while wiping the grease off his hands. No matter how hard he asked, Adelita never agreed to ride with him, but here comes you and you’re practically begging him.

“Hell yeah! I mean I do have a fear of wiping out so I’m gonna be clutching hella hard.” Having your own bike was too nerve-wracking for you, so you settled for riding with someone, but the fear was still there.

“Don’t worry,” Angel lifted your chin and then stole a cookie from the plate. “I wouldn’t mind your arms wrapped around me.”

Your cheeks heated up. Every now and then Angel would make these types of comments, leaving you in a ditzy state. You have to convince yourself that that’s just how he is. From his interviews you could tell Angel was naturally flirtatious and charismatic.

Clearing your throat, you decided to change the subject. “So, what are you doing up this late? Don’t you have a game to rest for?”

Angel scratched the back of his head and knelt down to start working on his bike again. “Yeah, it’s just,” Angel threw his head back and let out a deep exhale. “What if I’m not ready? What if my knee gives out?”

Your heart cried out for Angel. Setting down the plate, you crouched down next to Angel and lifted his chin. “It won’t. I cleared you, the team doctor cleared you, and Coach Losa cleared you. You gotta trust the process, you gotta trust yourself.”

Angel tucked some stray hair behind your ear. “You’re amazing you know that, right? Practically a saint. Saint Y/N.”

“Oh no no no. I’m far from a saint.”

“Oh, so you’re one of them girls?” Angel arched his eyebrows suggestively.

You swatted Angel’s hands away. “No, I am not! I’m a good girl.”

Angel’s chocolate eyes darkened as his voice got deeper. “I know you’re a good girl.”

Your thighs clenched at his words. Now all you could think about is Angel on top of you calling you a good girl while he’s giving you that pipe.

“Anyway, why are you over here so late? Don’t you have a roster of men to be hitting up and making to take you out?” Angel knew you were single or at least he hoped you were. Every weekend you were here or with your parents and unlike everyone else your nose wasn’t stuck in your phone.

“Boy, I am single as Pringle.”

“Why?” Angel just had to know. You were too perfect not to be worshipped.

“Umm,” your phone buzzed, and you pulled it out to see a text from Rio. Smiling you texted him back and put your phone away. “I guess I just haven’t found the one, as corny as it sounds.”

He shouldn’t pry. It’s none of his damn business, but it was eating up at him as soon as he saw you smiling into your phone. “Who was that?”

“Oh, just Rio.” You threw out like nothing.

Of all the names, Angel didn’t expect that one. Turning away from you, Angel continued working on his bike, giving you the cold shoulder. “It’s getting late. You should go to bed and talk to Rio.”

The switch up was dizzying. One moment Angel was warm and soft and the next he was cold and hard. You just knew that it was best to leave him to sort out his feelings alone. “Well, I leave the cookies there if you want some more. Good night,” you said softly, feeling hurt.

When Angel heard the door closed, he kicked his toolbox across the room. Leave it to him to hurt the one person whose been by his side the whole time. “Way to go, Reyes.” Angel palmed his forehead, already thinking of a way to apologize.

Angel’s first game back was nerve wracking. He was playing safe, not trusting his knee fully. If he didn’t get it together right now his team would lose and be out the playoffs. “Hermosa, you gotta talk to him.” Bishop pleaded with you.

Hopping down from the stands you sat next to Angel on the bench. Feeling you next to him, Angel slid down to get away from you, but you just followed him to the end of the bench. “You go any further and you’re gonna end up on your ass.”

“Can’t you take a hint and go away?”

“Aww, someone’s cranky.” You pinched Angel’s cheek and he slapped your hands away. “Don’t be doing that shit on national tv.” Flicking his ear, you whispered in it. “Then stop acting like a fucking baby and do what needs to be done.”

Angel storms off from the bench and goes to the water cooler hoping to shake you, but you followed him anyway. “God, you’re like a fucking fly. So damn annoying.” Coco, Angel’s teammate and best friend was drinking his water when he heard Angel. He was about to defend you, but you held up your hand letting him know you got it.

Slapping the cup of water out of Angel’s hand you got in his space. “I’m not here to fucking coddle you, Reyes. I’m here to push you. You’re not a loser and I’m damn sure not a loser. So, what are you gonna do? Prove everyone else right and let your career go down in the drain or make the biggest comeback ever?”

The whistle blew signaling it was time for Angel to get back on the field. Angel kissed your cheek and snapped his helmet back on, running backwards to the field. “You know if the physical therapy thing doesn’t work out, you should ask coach about joining the coaching staff.” Rolling your eyes you flipped him the bird and he just laughed.

Bishop came up to you and put a headset on you. “Not the pep talk I was expecting, but it got the job done.” You nudge his shoulder and watched the team get a down. “What can I say? My mama ain’t raise no bitch.”

Bishop chuckled as the two of you watch Angel get the most yards he has in the entire game, making victory that much closer. He turned around and hugged you. “And maybe Angel is right. I might need you on my coaching staff.”

“Let’s get this W first and then we can talk about my salary.” You nudged Bishop’s shoulder.

There were 30 yards and one down left. They really needed a Hail Mary.

The whistle blew and for a moment you thought that Coco was about to get sacked, but the ball left his hands before they got to him. It was over. Coco overthrew the ball, there was no way Angel could catch it. You couldn’t watch this, it was making you too anxious. But then you heard the screams and you removed your fingers from your face. Angel caught the ball! He caught the freaking ball and was almost at the endzone with no one behind.

“AND THAT’S GAME LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” The announcer informed over the intercom. “ANGEL REYES MAKES THE COMEBACK OF THE YEAR AND LEADS HIS TEAM TO THE GAME WINNING TOUCHDOWN AND TO THE PLAYOFFFS!”

Caught up in the commotion you were jumping around with the team on the sidelines, but suddenly you were lifted off the ground. “Oh my god, we did it!” Angel spun you around. “Don’t you mean you did it?” You giggled as Angel set you down on your feet. “Nah, mi dulce, we did it. I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.” Angel kissed you on the cheek, but then he was pulled away for a post-game interview.

Gilly came up to you and wrapped his sweaty arm around your shoulder. “Get ready?”

“For what?” You arched an eyebrow at him. “To become the hottest commodity in sports history.” Then he left to join his teammates, leaving you to contemplate the next step of your career.

After the game, Angel made you go out and celebrate with the team. He claimed you were just as important to their success, even though you insisted you had nothing to do with it.

Man, these dudes can drink. “Slow down, Angel. Its not off-season.” You took his beer and finished it for him. Angel just sat back and smiled at you. “You’re right, let’s go.”

“Let me go to the restroom real quick.” You hopped up and ran to the ladies’ room. His friends gave him knowing smirks. “Cut it out.” He pointed to them.

“Nah, its not like that. We’re proud of you ��mano. She’s a good one.” Coco smiled as you came back up to the VIP section.

Angel couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as you came up the stairs. The heels made your legs seem longer, the shorts made your ass look extra delectable, and the crop top bralette made it hard for him to keep his eyes off your cleavage. “Ready?”

“Yeah, lets go querida.” Angel took your hand and led you down the stairs to the rideshare pickup spot.

“You ordered the Uber yet?”

“Nah, I got something better.” He led you a couple of feet down to his motorcycle. “For real?” You squealed. “Yeah, I thought we go get some ice cream and then I’ll take you for a ride.”

Jumping up and down, you hugged Angel and kissed his cheek. “Oh my god, thank you! You’re the best!” Angel snapped the extra helmet on your head. “It’s the least you deserve. C’mon, hop on.”

Giddily you got on behind Angel, but you were tentative about wrapping your arms around him tightly. Already being pressed up against him was tantalizing enough. “You’re really gonna fall off if you hold onto me like that. Hold on tighter.” At his insistence, you followed his directions. “Good girl.” He said as he revved up his bike.

It was everything you wanted and more. The wind wiping through your hair, the zipping in and out of lanes, and the vibration of the bike underneath you.

Once, Angel got the ice cream, he took you to his favorite spot in the city. It was the biggest hill overlooking the city and also a well-known makeout spot for kids.

“Cloud 9, huh?” You lifted your eyebrow to him as you went to sit on the big rock out there. “Don’t think you’re gonna get lucky mister.” Angel chuckled and lifted his hands in surrender. “Never. My attentions are pure. Its all in my name.”

Kissing your teeth, you lightly shoved him. “Boy, you are far from an Angel according to the blogs.”

“What do the blogs say?” He asked lowly, taking his ice cream cup from you. “According to them you are exceptionally blessed and your tongue isn’t just used for talking.” Angel had a shit-eating grin, but you just had to wipe it off his face. “But I think its all bullshit.” You smiled at his dropped jaw and wiggled in your seat to celebrate for catching him off-guard.

Angel invaded your space and whispered against your skin. “You could always find out for yourself.” Nervously, you began laughing and mushed Angel in his face. He had to be joking.

Sensing your uneasiness, Angel changed the topic. “So, all this time together and I’ve never asked you how you got into physical therapy.”

“Oh, easy! My dad was a war vet and on his last tour he got seriously injured. Man, when I found out I buried my head in books looking for a treatment plan. His PT asked me more than once if I wanted his job. And the rest was history and now I’m working at the VA.”

“Wow, you sure you’re not the angel?” Could you get any better, he thought. Opposite of Adelita, your kindness didn’t come with stipulations. You gave with expecting nothing in return.

“Mmm, maybe,” you stretched out your body and yawned. “Sleepy, cariño?” He brushed back some of your hair. “Noooo,” you yawned out.

Angel took your ice cream cup and threw it in the trash. “Yes, you are, sleepyhead. Let’s go home.” You allowed Angel to move your body however he pleased. The tiredness was already seeping throughout your body. “Hold on tight. I’ll have us home in no time.”

Racing down the street Angel got you home quickly, though you weren’t as tired as you were earlier. The wind whipping you in the face woke you up some more.

“Thank you for tonight, Angel. Everything was perfect.” You didn’t know if it was the sleepiness, the alcohol, or just the heat of the moment, but whatever it was it led you to kiss Angel. It only lasted for a couple of seconds but as soon as you tried to back away he pulled you back in for a much longer, much more passionate kiss. “Come to bed with me,” he sorta asked, sorta ordered you once he let you up for air.

You nodded at him and he picked you up. “Angel, put me down! You’re gonna hurt yourself going up these stairs while carrying me.” Angel stopped mid-stride and tilted your chin to get a good look at you. “I don’t know what type of dudes you messed with before, but I ain’t them. I can handle of this,” he smacked your backside making you yelp. “Entiendes?”

“Mmhmm,” you nodded, nuzzling your face in his neck. Angel finished his trek to his room and laid you on his bed. Leaning back on you elbows, you appreciated Angel’s look for the night. He wore a simple black tee with ripped black jeans, but the pièce de resistance was his chain. There was something about it that made you hungrier for him. “Keep the chain on,” you meekly ordered him while he was taking off his clothes.

The corner of his mouth quirked up as he crawled over your body. “Yeah? You like it?” You nodded your head and bent down to kiss you while his hands slithered to your shorts to undo them. His fingers slid down your panties and right into your weeping core. “Shit, this all for me baby?”

“Yesss,” you mewled, your legs already thrashing against the bed. “How long has it been, querida? It’s a struggle to get two fingers in.”

You shook your head no, too embarrassed to tell him the truth. “Tell me.” He nipped at your chin. “Or you don’t get to cum and I wanna make you cum, pretty baby.” Angel stopped his fingers, even though he desperately wanted to continue.

“Please Angel,” you ran your fingers up and down his back. “Nah, baby. You gotta tell me first,” he kissed your pulse point. “Alright, you huffed, “three years.”

“See it wasn’t that hard.” Angel began his ministrations again. “We got three years to make up for.” The rough pad of his thumb found your clit and he began rubbing little circles.

“Angel.” You cried out and held onto his wrist. “God, you’re beautiful. You think you can handle another finger?”

It slipped out before you noticed. “Yes daddy.” Angel eyes darkened and he crashed his lips into yours, swallowing your cries. “Fuck, you’re gripping me so tight. Daddy’s gonna fuck this little pussy up.”

The delicious stretch from his fingers and the never ending assault on your clit had you on cloud nine. “Daddy, I’m gonna cum,” you whimpered, circling your hips. “Cum then.” Angel pressed all three fingers against your walls, triggering a white hit explosion you never felt in your entire life.

“Suck ‘em.” Angel tapped his fingers against your lips. Opening them up, you took them in your mouth catching a hint of metal due to his rings. You swore you tasted better on his fingers than on yours.

“Take off your top.” As you did what Angel said, he slid your shorts and panties off. While he took off your heels, he kissed the inside of your ankle. “I can’t wait to have this dangling in the air.” He fingered your anklet.

Pushing your knees to your chest, Angel slid down your body. He took a deep inhale of your pussy, committing your scent to memory.

The first lick was a little tentative, like he was sampling the goods first . But after a couple more swipes, he had your whole clit in his mouth making you go crazy. “Mi dulce, you just became my favorite meal.”

The combination of Angel’s tongue on your bundle of nerves and his fingers sliding in and out of you was maddening. “Oh no, not another one.” You said to no one in particular. Angel chuckled with your clit still in his mouth. “Oh yes, another one.”

Grabbing onto his raven locks, you tried to pull him up, but he hunkered down instead, Angel wrapped his hands around your hips and pinned you down, diving deeper into your folds. “Fuck Angel! I’m I’m I’m,” it felt like a dam broke as your orgasm overcame you.

Then the damn demon wouldn’t let you go. Angel continued to eat you out even though you already came and was beating down on his back.

Finally Angel came back up for some air and the sight before you was beautiful. His beard was glistening all because of you. Your essence was dripping all over his beard.

“Give me a taste, daddy.” You ordered Angel, crooking your finger. “As you wish.” Angel came up and kissed you. Your tongue swiped at the seam of his mouth. Angel complied with your silent order and opened his mouth, where you and him fought for dominance.

Keeping Angel focused, your hands traveled to his boxers, setting his dick free. “Oh my!” Just from the feel of it, you could tell Angel was hung. Guess those blogs were right. “Are you gonna fit, daddy?”

Angel laughed and reached out for a condom. Slipping on the condom, Angel tapped his dick against your clique. “Ohh, he’s gonna fit.”

Feeling confident that he gathered enough lubrication to slide in. “Fuck, mami, you’re tight.” Angel bent down to swallow your whimpers. As hard as it was for him not to cum, the pain had to be worse for you.

“I’m not hurting you, am I baby?” Angel didn’t dare to begin to move once he was fully seated. “No. I need you to give it to me, Angel.”

Angel pecked your lips and sat up on his arms with his hands on your hips. “This pussy is mines now! You ain’t going nowhere after this.”

He began brutally snapping his hips into yours while singing your praises. ‘Cum on my cock, pretty baby.’ ‘You make the cutest sounds while I’m beating this pretty pussy up.’ ‘You look so beautiful coming on my dick.’

Angel intertwined his fingers with yours and nipped at your lips. “Angel please let me cum.” He took your bottom lip and dragged it it in between his teeth. “Not until you tell me whose pussy this is.”

“Mines,” you gasped as he hit a new spot. “I knew there was a little brat in there.” Angel wrapped his free hand around your throat. His cool rings starkly contrasted the heat emitting from your body. “You like that shit, huh?” Angel commented when he felt you clench around him after he put his hand on your neck.

“Whose. Pussy. Is. This?” Angel growled, punctuating each word with a harsh thrust. “Damn it, yours Angel! It’s all yours!” You scratched down his back.

“Damn right it is,” he bit on your shoulder. “Cum on daddy’s dick, pretty girl.”

Throwing your head back, arching your back you let the orgasm wash over you. “Angel,” you screamed clutching onto him. “I’m right here, baby.” He kissed you all over face, letting you know he was right there with you.

“Shit,” Angel groaned, his strokes began to get sloppy. “I’m gonna cum, baby. Where do you want it?”

“In my mouth.” You just had to get a taste of him, especially since he already knew what you tasted like.

Quickly both of you got off the bed. You on your knees and Angel hovering over you. Throwing the condom off, he began stroking his veiny masterpiece he called a dick. “You’re gonna look so pretty with my cum all over your face.” Angel stroked your cheek lovingly like he wasn’t just about to paint your face with his load.

Out of nowhere, you got jealous of Angel’s hand and instead of letting him jerk himself off to completion, you wrapped your mouth around his dick. “Oh shit,” Angel moaned, throwing his head back. “Keep sucking Daddy’s dick like that.” He buried his hands in your hair as he tried his hardest not to fuck your face.

“Aww fuck, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, shit!” Angel exploded in your mouth, making you take every drop. But you didn’t stop after that, you kept sucking and swiping across his tip. Angel had to push your head back to get you to stop. “Think that’s funny?”

Wiping the corners of your mouth you smiled up at him. “Yeah.”

“Nasty bitch,” Angel pulled you up by the hair and kissed you, loving the taste of himself on your tongue. “So, did I live up to the blogs?”

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I need to conduct further research.” Angel pushed you back onto the bed. “That can be arranged.” He smiled as he climbed back on top of you to ensure he blew past your expectations.

Tagging: @ourlittlesecretsoveragain @starrynite7114 @sambucky8 @mygirlrenee @richonne4life @readsalot73 @chaneajoyyy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @jassydwill11 @otomefromtheheart @miss-nori85 @xsweetdellzx @cherryblossomgirl20 @ljstraightnochaser @my-rosegold-soul @angrythingstarlight @brattyfics @lovebennycolon @langiinspirations @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @spookys-girl @sesamepancakes @brownsugarcoffy @thesandbeneathmytoes @fvckthisbxtchup @theartisticqueen @vsfavs @woahitslucyylu @angelreyesgirl @blessedboo @marvelmaree @ifoundmyhappythought

#black!reader #angel reyes x reader #angel reyes x black!reader #angel reyes x black!plussized!reader #angel reyes #mayans mc #frizzlefic #frizzlesfic #frizzlewrites

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years ago

Text

Coffee - T. Holland

Okay, I know I have requests but this song came on at work the other day and I felt super emotional and I had to write. The use of Tom was very last minute because I had no actual person in mind for the fic, and there are very little actual defining characteristics so you can imagine it to be absolutely anybody you want!

This has broken me, so I apologize in case it has the same affect.

TW: This story contains mentions of cancer, allusions to death, mentions of death, sadness, angst, allusion to suicide, a character with cancer, and all round sadness about death.

If this content may trigger you in any way possible, please do not engage with this fic. Your personal safety and wellness is important so please take care of yourself, my lovies.

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17. Please do not copy, translate or share outside of the boundaries of tumblr without my permission. Please do not steal my work and market it as your own. Basically, don’t be a dick. Also, the above gif does not belong to me. Credit to @thollandgifs

Also, sorry the format is shit. I write on my phone so it’s hella bad.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed.

While his life stood still, hers moved. Most days he could barely move without the nausea taking over. His head pounding, body exhausted and weak beyond recognition. She had established a routine the minute she could. She made sure he had his morning coffee everyday. Whenever his eyes opened, she would be right by his side with his favourite beverage, bringing him breakfast and a warm, loving smile to entice him to get out of bed. She understood on days that his body fought him more than it already was - she was compassionate and considerate. On those days she would help him prop himself in a comfortable position, switch on whatever show they were watching at the time and curl up next to him with her work beside her.

His heart was often overwhelmed with the care she provided him. They were well into the fourth year of their life together, and he had no doubt in his mind that he would love her until his last days. He often solemnly thought of the ring he still had hidden in his drawer of their shared cabinet. He had made a vow to pop the question if he ever recovered, but the thought of that day never coming simply tore another piece from his already dwindling soul.

He would often sit in his chair, or on the bed in their small, studio apartment, watching her flutter around the house in a graceful way only she could. He had memorized her every move when she conducted the most mundane activity. The way she poured a glass of water, the way she tapped her fingers against her thigh to the tune of a theme song, the way she always made his coffee to pure perfection - in a way that nobody else had been able to do.

He had so much love for her, that he was terrified of it slipping away at any moment.

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away. I been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days.

He was 24, and she was 25. They had already planned a life together. They had steady jobs, an intense and passionate love, names picked out for future children, dinner at his parents house every Sunday, lunch with her parents every Wednesday.

He just knew that he had done something to deserve such a fate. At first he was angry, terrified of the possibility of his soul leaving this earth, but as time went on, his self-deprivation grew. Apparently it was common for people in his situation. The fear of dying was clouded by a justification that this was meant to be. He had done something terrible in a past life, and karma was giving him the painful ending he deserved... but he despised the thought, because Y/N didn’t deserve to watch her boyfriend meet his end in this way.

He had thought of near every scenario in his life in which he hurt somebody - cheating on his girlfriend in his first year of college, letting Y/N down time after time, only for her to forgive him. The hurt he caused his parents when he was a teenager and full of such hate for the world. But now, all he could do was pray for forgiveness. He had hope that there was some way he could make it out of this, but he was losing hope rapidly.

Even as he sat with his love on their bed, watching re-runs of How I Met Your Mother, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander.

“When I’m gone,” his voice was croaky, his throat dry and scratchy. “Please tell me you will find somebody else.” He fumbled around to grab her hand, winching as he caught her head snapping towards his in his peripheral vision. He couldn’t turn to see the expression on her face. “You’re so young, so full of life. Your life is going to be so beautiful.”

Her hand was pulled from his, and he steeled what was left of his nerves to get ready for whatever tongue lashing she had planned, but instead he felt the bed dip further beside him, her hands framing his sullen face on each side and softly turning his gaze to meet her own.

“Don’t you say things like that, Tom.” He forced his eyes to stare into her own. His eyes seemed as if they were always ready to release tears, and the intensity of the hurt in her own made his pool unconsciously. “There is no somebody else when the other half of my soul is already with me. I don’t need anybody else because you’re not going anywhere.”

Her thumb brushed away the tear that slipped from his chocolate orbs, ignoring the dark circles underneath that made his face seem further sunken than it was.

“You don’t know that,” he sniffed heavily, dropping his eyes down to his lap. His fingers unconsciously toyed with the bracelet she had given him years ago. A soft, black, faux-leather band. An unfit symbol charm dangled close to the strap, reminding him of her favourite line from her favourite book/movie - the perks of being a wallflower. He had gone wuth her when she got the titular floral piece tattooed on her forearm. She was so happy that day. “One day you’re gonna be in a nice house, a ring on your finger, watching your husband dote over your little baby and you will be at peace in the way I know you crave. I just... I know that will never be me, who slips a ring onto your hand, or waits for you at the end of the aisle. I won’t be the one who holds your hand when you meet your baby, or the one who can give you the life you deserve - the one you want.”

His eyes snapped up to meet her own when he heard her breath grow shaky, but the action caused his brain to lose its equilibrium and he had to close his eyes for a moment. He hated doing so. Every time his eyes were shut, it was a moment that he lost of memorizing every line, curve, angle of her body. He opened his eyes again when able, and he was met with her own eyes as red rimmed as his, tears streaming down her beautiful face.

“Don’t you every talk like that, Thomas Stanley. You’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be the one to do all of those things because you’re going to make it and we are going to love each other until the end of our time, together. I’ll fucking Romeo and Juliet this shit if I have to,” her dark joke was met with a wet laugh from them both, before her face melted back into seriousness. “I’m never gonna need another person, Tommy. I have you, and I will have you forever.”

“You make every day a blessing, my love.” He whispered, his lips ghosting over hers as he gathered the strength in his lead arms to pull her into a hug. “You make hell feel like a summers day, and I cherish every moment I have left with you.”

My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

Their days continued on for another three weeks, the same routine of morning coffee and testing the boundaries of his own fatigue. Three weeks without the dreaded conversation arising again, until she woke to find him staring into the ceiling with such an intense and thoughtful gaze. She knew instantly what was on his mind, and she could feel her heart breaking into more little pieces.

“Tommy?” Her melodic tone was soft, snapping him from his nightmarish reprieve. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing honey. Thinking about us... when we were young and full of life,” he snorted into the dark room, Y/N’s soft laugh pushed through her nose and he felt her smile against his neck. “Just, thinking about how sorry I am for all of this. I’m sorry that I’ve turned your life upside down, that we have changed so much.”

He felt weaker. His body was fighting to hold on, and he felt that they both knew that. He was being eaten up from the inside out, but he couldn’t bear to leave. He couldn’t lose her. He couldn’t leave her alone. He needed her, he loved her. He wanted to be her husband and give her everything she wanted in life. He wanted to live, for her.

“I would change everything if it meant I could be here with you,” her voice was heavy, riddled with sleep. Neither of them get much rest anymore. He is always up and down, and she frets too much to sleep through his late night jolts and retches. “You’re worth every minute of every day, Tom. You have nothing to apologize for. It’s not like you chose to have Can-“

“Don’t say it, baby, please?” He pled, silencing her before she could say the word. He hadn’t once uttered it since the day he found out. She had relayed the information to their families, holding his hand the entire time as he sat motionless. “Makes it more real than my emo ramblings.” His laugh was humorless, but he didn’t intend it to be so.

She apologised softly, snuggling closer to him. She knew how much he loved the feel of her body on his, how the intimacy of the comfort made him feel warm. Back when he could handle the weight, she would sometimes wake up curled on top of his chest because he had sought her out in his sleep.

“I would do anything for you, Tommy. I would give up everything I have just to see you smile. You’re the other half of my soul, my infinity.”

He felt a tear slip down his cheek. Her words always had that affect on him, but he loved the way she could send his heart beating with no effort. He loved her. So intensely.

“Sing to me, please?” A request he had let loose so many times before. He adored her voice, and the soft melodies that fell from her lips and lulled him to sleep.

She obliged with a smile on her face, and let the words tumble into his pale skin.

“If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do...”

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

Two more months passed. His doctors were satisfied, stating that he was slowly improving. His body was beginning to regain strength. He had begun to grow more hopeful, slowly but surely.

Until there was no chance for hope left.

Y/N made his morning coffee, but when she went to rest it on his bedside, he could barely breathe.

Her fingers dialed emergency services faster than she thought possible, her voice cracking as she sung to him over and over, hands cradling his head in her lap as he whispered his love for her.

The coffee went cold as the red and blue lights approached.

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head. It'll get you up and going out of bed

Tag list: @starshonerose @snookiebrookie @another-lonely-heart @mantlereid

If you would like to be added to my tag list, comment here!

#tom holland angst #tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker #spiderman #caz writes #deathbed #(coffee for your head)#I’m so sorry #I’m so emotional #this hits home so I had to write it #angst #marvel

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euclydya · 2 years ago

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i'm fine i've just been going insane /lh

had to take more hours at our second job for financial reasons + been doing almost nightly tutoring with my kid brother (the semester just ended for him). very busy but no like emotional turmoil or anything.

today's music rec theme is showtunes! i'm recommending totally fucked from spring awakening for billy, hard to be the bard from something rotten for eddie, never ever getting rid of me from waitress for steve, take it like a man from legally blonde for your jonathan, and all that's known from spring awakening for will+the party. honorary mention to tatoue-moi from mozart l'opera rock, considered recommending it to steve but idk if any of y'all're partial to french music/foreign languages.

also, dr. crane wants poe to listen to the fear song by amanda palmer

VIRTUALLY HUGS YOU !! (IF!! YOU'RE FINE WITH THAT OFC IF NOT THEN. VIRTUALLY SENDS U A HIGH-FIVE /LIGHTHEARTED)

We're!!! So glad y'all are okay jesus we were worried HFJSKDKF but we.,, worry easily. Hashtag Paranoia Things BCJDJD but anyway!! Jesus that sounds like a lot, we hope shit calms down soon!!

Great songs as usual tbh!! We aren't a Musical Fan™ but all of those songs are hella catchy I'll be damned /lighthearted -Billy

our recs:

Every Day is Exactly The Same - Nine Inch Nails (Steve's rec)

ooookay so We May Have Had Another Steve Form. Newer Steve is s1-2 era so we refer to him as Asshole Era Steve (/lighthearted) but ANYWAYS this is moreso his rec than OG!Steve's rec but they both agree that it is A Good Song and also A Relatable One as of late. Everything Always Feels The Goddamn Same All The Fuckening Time Forever! Hell On Earth!! /lh -Billy (neither of em are up front atm so I'm relaying for em)

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D - Will Wood and the Tapeworms (my rec!)

ok so first off, suicide bait tw riiight at the end of the song, it's like the second to last verse gjsjdjf

Sooooo we love will wood's music but we Especially love the it when his songs are,,, Angry™ HFHSJDJFJ. WE JUST,, LIKE ANGRY MUSIC IDK WHY. Anyways top ten songs that are Full Of Emotion That We Enjoy!! NCNDJ -Billy

Acid King - Malibu Ken (Eddie's rec)

a couple tws for this one too: Major drugs tw and, if you watch the music video, uhh... emeto and body horror/General Gross Shit tws too djiakdjf. Very cool music video, it's all animated, but it's also a bit Detailed™ HFNSJDJ

The song basically goes into the story of the Acid King/"Say You Love Satan" killer, Kasso, so,,, If you already know about that then you already know what's up with the song BFNSKDKD but it is. CATCHY. We love it. Especially the outro!! Like,,, can't explain it but the outro lyrics are Important to me for some reason. -Eddie

Sweet Sweet - The Smashing Pumpkins (Jonathan's rec)

We recently sat down and did our like, Monthly Listen Of Siamese Dream™ so a lotta the album is still stuck in our head,, This song's very short and not a Favourite of ours but something about it struck a chord with me!

Honestly, we'd rec the whole album to y'all (and anyone. and Everyone tbh. it's one of our collective all time favourite albums ever) but we'll just,, do so in bits n pieces for now lmao. But if you do happen to decide to listen to it in full, please tell us what you think!! :D -Jonathan

Get The Lead Out - A Perfect Circle (Will's rec)

Now Will hasn't been fronting much recently (no particular reason, he's doing fine dw) so I'm also relaying for him rn.

I actually… Straight up lost track of where he is the past few days? The headspace is huge as hell though but we can keep in contact easily so I'm not, like. Worried, y'know. But I like mentally asked where he was and he replied with bits of this song (because communicating via music is his thing now it seems /lighthearted) -Jonathan

The Raven - Nevermore Musical (Poe's rec)

The perfect time to recommend a song from a musical it seems!! This song, or poem really, is where I got my name… And form. Well, one of them!

We had a huge Hyperfixation Moment on The Raven innnn uhhhhhh late 2019-early 2020? Twas when I was created and such! This rendition of it though is indeed a favourite of ours! Very emotional and fun to sing along to!! :} -Poe

#long post #music recs anon #fun fact‚ yes indeedy we do have an Edgar & Allan in our system too! And yes they yoinked their names from the same hyperfixation lmao -Poe #We are adding all the songs to our playlists too !! Thank you thank you a plenty friends -Poe

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imagines-to-quench-thirst · 4 years ago

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Imagine explaining to your man Kdramas:

This is a small drabble like a story for each man on my main roster. I love Korean dramas and I wanted to pair some dramas with one of the guys.

Enjoy and if you like some of the dramas mentioned here they are all on Netflix where I watch them.

Enjoy ❤️

Victor Creed:

This man lived some time in Korea and lived along with the Korean Empire in great secrecy but seeing you so immersed in your drama he is ready to roll up his sleeve and talk about his tales of Korea.

'And that's how my friend at that time Jeon helped me escape the death penalty.'

'But you don't have friends. You said that.'

'...'*modem ringing*

'Sorry.'

'You know what? You don't get to hear my other story that includes stealing a golden elephant with a secret clan of widows.'

'What?!'

'Noooooo.'

His favorite pick is: Nokdu

Loki Laufeyson:

Loki is frazzled to say at least when he saw you cocooned in your blanket with your coffee as you glued your eyes to the TV screen. It took a few good episodes to pass and an empty cup of coffee for you to notice a presence on the couch. Loki was a little mad since you absolutely 100% rooted for the good muscular actor as he played his part and you did yours which may or may not include some drooling and whistling. He waited for you to finish to hear the explaining he wanted to know so much.

'There is a special girl who is a Samjang and she meets a locked up God when she was a kid and then... They fall in love.'

'Can-can you repeat my love?'

'Oh, and one of the gods sells ice cream!'

'Once again darling... Repeat but slowly.'

His favorite pick is: : A Korean Odyssey

Thor Odinson :

You already know that this man is already on the drama-wave and he is nothing but a bigger fan than you. He lives to talk about the whole drama when you two finish it.

'This Drama! Was the peak of entrainment. The suspense, intrige, and oh soo more.'

'Oh and don't forget the secret brother twist.'

'Of course, when Tae-ho's ex-girlfriend boyfriend is his enemies secret younger brother that he sent to America to be super smart and zo come back so they can avenge their father.'

His favorite pick is: Last

Bucky Barnes:

Bucky is hella confused at the start but later he is on it and not letting go. His Netflix list is as long as his hair. And most of all he loves to draw parrel when you do a brief summary of the drama you two will watch.

'So you are telling me a rich girl paraglides into North Korean and falls in love with a stoic soldier.'

'Yes, but not by choice, a tornado swooped her out of South Korea.'

'So, like us.'

'Yes, minus the parachute.'

His favorite pick is: Crash Landing on You

Steve Rogers:

For Steve, it's a little hard to get adjusted to with you being all over the TV as you root for the main underdog girl that tries to win over her boss's heart who can recognize people's faces. Especially when he saw the main charted hovering over his on-screen ladylove. So he tries to copy-paste it.

'Y/n...'

'Yes, Steve?'

'Jagiya~~~'

'...HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH No.'

'Okay, sorry.'

Bless his heart.

His favorite pick is: The Secret Life of Secretary Kim

Jagiya is a Korean word for honey. I think so don't kill me if I'm wrong.

Bruce Wayne :

Y'all know my boy is ready to leap if you say you find an actor or location great in a drama he is ready to pick up his phone and call a few people to arrange a fan meet or travel to the location.

'I saw that the actor who played Park Hun in your favorite drama is landing here for a contract meeting.'

'How do you know that? I don't think that's public information.'

'... I-i just know.'

His favorite pick is: Doctor Stranger

Clark Kent:

This cinnamon roll is the best one to cry with more like on him. He is a great boy that will hear your cries over the deaths of the characters. He just radiates comfort.

'It's okay, Y/n. He avenged his brother's death and got a chance to reincarnate.'

'But-but his mother... I just want to hug her and make her tea.'

'I know sweetie.'

His favorite pick is: Along with the Gods

Not a series but a damn good movie I always ball my eyes on it. Highly recommend.

Arthur Curry :

Arthur is very much in the middle of it. Very well knows that being on your good side means appeasing your needs and wishes. But hooking this Fishman on your drama was easy as sinking the same hook.

'I like this one. When will the next episode come out?'

'Next Tuesday.'

*GASP*'Shut up.'

'I'm serious Arty.'

'Damn you scheduling system. Damn you!'

His favorite pick is: W

Orm Marius:

The ex-King himself finds weird comfort in the unsung heroes of Imperial Korea with the misunderstood King. And he is ready to sneak into the bathroom to gasp in secrecy at the episodes.

'Orm, come on lets go!'

'Just- 32 minutes until it ends, my world. I need to know if Prince Lee Hyeok will win the hear of the commoner Sunny. Like us.'

'What?!'

'Sorry, my darling I'm coming.'

His favorite pick is: The Last Empress

Joker(Suicide Squad):

This clown is frazzled by your state when you start your dramas but know very well not to touch the tiger when watching point of interest. But him being the needy person he will mostly sneak under your arm and as you to pay attention to him with no avail as your eyes still gaze at the action scene. His mild distaste is only that you pay much more attention to them rather than him.

'Y/n, why do you watch this police drama. It's not even that good.'

'You take that back my woman Ha Na and my boy Hyuk gave their all to capture the killer that killed her father and his wife with a kettlebell in the first episode.'

'Kettle ball you say? Maybe it's not that boring.'

His favorite pick is: Voice

Duncan Vizla:

This agent of absolute peace and carnage loves to watch them with you it reminded him if the times he was in Korea undercover killing a corrupt minister. He loves the thrill of the police dramas with the time travel twist as his top one drama and as well as yours.

'This actor Choi Jin Hyuk really knows how to act with the time travel twist.'

'True that's hard to act through. That's not everyday stuff. Do you think that time travel is real?'

'Of course, it's. I know it first hand.'

'How?'

'Well I got to be with you and I think the only plausible explanation is time travel.'

'Awww, Donut!'

His favorite pick is: Tunnel

Kdramas are a big part of my life and each of the dramas and movie listed I have watched and much more. Not to blabble long enough I hoped you liked it.

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

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This is a personal opinion but from where I see it the Given movie and the anime itself definitely was... something that I would question because somethings just.. didn't make sense to me. The development of the Characters were either super fast or super slow and it made the pacing really really weird for me idk. But I do think that a huge reason so many people love the Given movie is because of the fact that when you compare Given to OTHER JP BL animes, there's very very slight improvement in terms of the story itself of Given. Is the story poorly executed? Fucking hell, who the hell is going to say no here. But is it better then some of the JP BLs out there? That's depended on how you view BL to be. For a lot of people things like Super Lovers or Hitorijime My Hero are super unbearable to watch because it's "problematic" (which honestly okay, you do you BB) which then leads them to look for BL animes that DON'T have such "themes." Leading them to actually liking things poorly executed but just "not problematic", Given for example.

Given is “not problematic”? Debatable.

Their first kiss was right after Mafuyu finally had a courage to sing a song about his ex who commited a suicide. ???

Problematic doesn’t only mean stuff like “he’s underage”. What about using someone to get over your grief or getting into a relationship with someone who is still not over his ex death and is vulnerable at the moment? Is this suddenly “not problematic” bc they’re same age and he haven’t pushed him into a wall in throws of passion?

To me it’s not even about the fact if it’s problematic or not (it’s rarely not tho, no matter what ppl think), it’s about whether its believable and feels genuine or not. It depends on many factors: situation, characters past, traumas, etc, etc. It depends on the story and how you write it.

Change some stuff and it’s gonna be a completely different thing. Make it like Uenoyama only hugged Mafuyu after the song, even tho he wanted to kiss him, but knows that it’s not the right moment. Make Mafuyu heal first, make Uenoyama be in his own angst that he loves Mafuyu so much for example, but cares about him recover more, so he doesn’t expect for it to go somewhere, then he tries to date someone and Mafuyu first starts getting out there, when he feels like he can start trying again. Someday he gets sick and Uenoyama cancels his date to take care of him even tho it’s nothing serious and then the realization comes. Make Mafuyu kiss him first and take the first step. This would’ve changed everything so much. He should’ve made the first step when he was ready, this would’ve felt so right. Uenoyama kissing him after that song is just.. it feels, I was like ehhhmmm.. weird?

Seeing someone saying that Given is a masterpiece is hilarious to me. The fact that it includes heavy themes like suicide, doesn’t make it a masterpiece, esp when it’s handled this badly. Once again, if you pick such thing as a base for a love story, do it right then, not in a “bibbidi bobbidi boo” kind of thing.

BL or not BL, any relationships, it depends on whether you watch it and it feels plausable or not.

For example, if Yuu says that he can’t live with Mika, my tongue won’t even twist to call it “unhealthy” or be like “dude why”. But if some high schooler in slice of life anime who has a caring family tried to end himself bc his two weeks friend left him, I would’ve yelled “bitch go see a doctor”.

Depending on the story you can sell some feelings or not.

Nezumi and Shion are also problematic according to ppl’s logic these days. But I 100% believe they’re each other’s true loves. Only 11 episodes and it’s sold.

In Given I didn’t believe it. Bc it’s ridiculous, ok? It wasn’t the right place or time to start this relationship. It is not a new love story, it’s just a sad story.

Given movie is slightly better compared to other japanese BL? Why would you offend Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Uragiri wa boku no namae, No.6 and many others?

Also better where? They kept the same old “’stop, i don’t want to’, but he did it anyway” stuff AND on top of that the story sucks.

The way he used him knowing very well that he was unrequitedly in love with him for so long is so disgusting that it leaves a much grosser feeling than many yaois combined. You’re saying “it’s slightly better” bc they’re of age or don’t have an age difference? I don’t get it. It somehow makes everything better?

No, thanks. I’d rather watch Onodera sleep with Takano in high school with them being genuinely into each other and it going great than whatever happened in the Given movie. I don’t care if they’re both 18 there, it made me feel bad.

I didn’t feel bad, when Wei Wuxian thought “why the fuck didn't I have sex with Lan Zhan back when I was 15? I've really pissed away all my days, haven't I?”. I wonder why is that.

Like what you’re saying here is that their opinion on BL is so low that they automatically would give it 10 out of 10 bc it’s slightly better than smth that they find “unbearable” to watch? What kind of evaluation is that exactly? Maybe also let’s compare each anime to “boku no pico”, then everything will look like a masterpiece.

Like excuse me for the fact that when I watch some shonen-ai and yaoi, I judge it the same way I judge any other genre and any other relationships (hetero or gay) in animes. On a scale whether I care or don’t care, whether I believe that they love each other or don’t, whether it’s a good story or not. I don’t get what it means “it’s good for yaoi”. It’s just not good. This movie is trash, I mean, the relationship in it is trash. Who the fuck cares gay or not gay. Trash relationships are trash. Bad story is a bad story. Whether it’s a bad gay story or a bad hetero story, I don’t give a shit.

The reason I’m more into boy on boy ships is because I love the relationships there more than relationships in most heterosexual couples. My fav hetero ships are either “from hate/attraction to love” stories like “gone with the wind”, “anastasia” or “pride and prejudice” or stuff like “equals without pink goo, who only see each other and don’t need no one else and would die for each other, epic soulmates” like Richard and Kahlan. In anime 99% of those fit bromances, not romances. Like I don’t find Midoriya/Uraraka appealing at all for a reason that “she said ‘hi’, he blushed as a tomato, now they’re supposed to be each other’s romantic interests” is not what I find romantic. I find romantic the fact that Todoroki is forever devoted to Midoriya bc he knows he’s amazing and is not afraid to say it; and he’ll always be there for him when he needs him, no matter what it is, him just sitting there crying, some villain trying to kill him or if he’s too late out ther grossery shopping. Uraraka most of the times doesn’t even care where he is.

Most hetero romantic animes, I just find ridiculous, too cheesy and unrealistic and I’m not ready to watch 50 episodes for them to hold hands. I’m not in that age and I also never found things like this romantic before either. Stuff like Kisa/Yukine, when you meet someone, find him attractive, wanna fuck him, then fall in love accidentally.. yeah, that’s understandable to me. Stuff like Takano/Onodera “I was an naive idiot in high school, but now life made me a sassy bitch and I can’t open up to people as easily” also yes, relatable.

When you’re turning into a tomato bc someone said “penis” and think holding hands will take your virginity or smth, that’s not my thing.

So when I watch BL, I expect more, not less. So if it’s bad, I just say it’s bad, I’m not gonna be like “hmm... unproblematic... then 10/10″ like what?

1stly, even “little mermaid” and “cinderella” are problematic.

2ndly everyone is so focused on purity these days, like storyline don’t matter at all. It’s like any great love story is automatically trash if they have age difference. Any trash love story is great, if they don’t?

Let’s then also rate “Dororo” as 1, bc it’s like 24 episodes of them falling for each other while she’s 11 and he’s 16. Wow, such gross relationships they have during the whole story. Doesn’t matter that she grew up at the end of the last episode, the whole anime she’s a child. And let’s rate Noragami 0, bc 2000 years old perverted Yato is into 15 year olds.

No one has to fuck asap (heck even in the same hella problematic “Super Lovers” you talk about, Haru refused to fuck Ren even tho he was 17 in s2 and wanted to fuck another guy) and the rule “you can only fall in love after 18″ doesn’t exist. Also underage is not BL thing, it’s all anime thing. It’s time to shut it already. There are zillions of age gap couples out there who are great. Hyakkimaru waited for Dororo to grow up, it’s fine, seriously, they love each other in the right way, he didn’t want to fuck her when she was 11, okay? They did love each other tho already then. Pls excuse them for that.

3rdly, some relationship that ppl here call unproblematic are 20 times more problematic, than what they call problematic.

4tly, why the heck it’s like couples who have an amazing character and relationship progression, who love each other to death and will do anything for each other, ppl go: “wow, at the very beginning, he grabbed his wrist, he needs to go to jail”. Meanwhile a relationship who has no base, no story, no logical progression, no anything are “yes, best love story in the world”. Yeah... who cares if it feels like it’s all been pulled out of an ass and doesn’t make sense, very healthy tho.

It sounds lately like if most ppl here had two stories in front of them and one would be about two men who just met and the next day one proposed and they lived happily ever after and 2nd would be some complicated incredible story with a natural progression of the relationship, but they yelled at each other once, they’d be like “1st is better”. Well, not to me, no.

#answered #anonymous #anime

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blackvelvetwriteson · 4 years ago

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𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄

( ~ Shinsou Hitoshi x Gender Neutral Reader Insert ~ )

GENRE: Fluffy Angst!

FANDOM: Boku No Hero Academia (My Hero Academia)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: This one is full of HELLA violence and angst. Talks of blood, suicide (briefly), etc is portrayed in this fic, even suggested drug abuse. There’s also curse words here. Shinso and Reader are aged up to 18. Class 1A and General Studies are mentioned a lot but they’re all 3rd years in this fic, I’m just going by Shinso and Reader only knowing the Class 1A kids strictly BECAUSE they were in the hero course. I’m gonna start clarifying that because, even though these students are generally in my age group, I still don’t want the image of these teenagers going through sexual encounters or heavy stuff like this being broadcasted. At least not from MY platform, whatever platform it may be.

SUMMARY: After a big villain/ hero battle, you and Shinso were the only heroes on the scene forced to flee, the villains having surrendered. You were teetering in and out of consciousness. The villains that were antagonizing you got into your head and you’d pushed those thoughts off to the side until they came back one night a week and a half later...

WORD COUNT: 4498

(Headers are mine, but the art inside of them are not! Please don’t steal or repost without credit!)

“HITOSHI!” You screamed out his name as you were becoming surrounded more and more, the villains sneering at you as more came from around the way, your quirk not strong enough to keep them at bay. Not by yourself at least. You took a side glance and noticed that your partner was having troubles too, knowing that he’d be having issues as well as his quirk was even more ineffective in this situation than yours. You were staring at him, watching him get beat up, but as you were about to move you were greeted by a swift kick to the stomach. Grimacing, you shuddered and shakily tried to move towards your boyfriend, feeling your hair getting tugged roughly, yanking you back into place as blood dared to trace your bottom lip. You looked over with glassy eyes as one of the villains came forth from a thick mob of their cohorts.

“Mmm… Pitiful, weak hero. Calling for someone who isn’t willing to answer. You know…. Hero society is so damn corrupt…” The menace that’d been tugging your hair twisted their hand, wrapping your locks around his fingers causing you to cry out. You tried to reach behind you and you finally let the tears that were in your eyes fall. “L-Let me g-“ you were interrupted by a cold clock jab in your already bruised face, knocking you out.

Just then you jolted awake, gasping for air that didn’t want to come down, trembling, your face already soaked with tears, meanwhile outside there was a harsh storm brewing up, the wind whipping through the tree’s leaves and branches. You shrieked quietly as you heard something outside break and you whimpered softly, looking down and seeing that your love, Shinso Hitoshi, wasn’t next to you anymore. Where could he have gone at this hour? Especially in this storm? It was 3:30 in the AM, and you shook your head trying to comfort yourself.

“I-It’s just a nightmare…” You felt your clammy sweat sheening your forehead, only illuminated by the occasional lightning that cut across the sky.

“For fucks sake…” You tangle your fingers in your hair and crush your head between your knees, screeching as a loud thunder clap knocked on the roof of the house, everything shaking and photos even falling off of the wall. You feel your chest get tight, your palms moist with sweat from having your hands balled up, more tears non consensually running down your face, searing into your skin as your flashback prevailed.

“What a worthless weakling like you. A hero that can’t save anyone much less yourself… Hah.. Funny. ‘Hero’ scum…” The villain smirked as they leaned in closer and examined your face. “And stupid too.. Why are the two of you fighting for a system that hates you?” They scoff as they cross their arms, dragging the tip of their knife over the underside of their chin. “You, me, and that purple haired fellow… We’re not so different y’know.”

“I-I’ll NEVER be like you! You have n-no p-power over me!”

The villain smirked once more and clicked their tongue. “Hmm…. Are you sure about that? Any of it?”

Damnit. They’d noticed and picked up on the uncertainty in your voice and now they’re using it against you, maybe. The heroes love you, right? They supported you… Right? The heroes are… Fair for everyone… R..Right?

You slap your head trying to bring yourself back to reality and then the villain’s words had branded their spot into your brain rent free, your breathing shaky, your lips trembling, your eyes darting around the room.

“I’m just like you… My quirk so… Useless that it might as well be like I don’t have one in the first place. Huh… I’m just somebody that the heroes cast aside because I couldn’t be of use. I used to be in the hero course too, yknow. What they don’t tell you is, ‘if you don’t have use; not conventionally attractive, no flashy quirk, and not a money maker, then nobody loves you, and they’ll throw ya out’.. Just like they did to me. Like that damn All Might. And he’s supposed to be a teacher for you guys- what a joke. I mean look at me! My tooth is all chipped… My hair is super short… My hands and face tainted with scars… You’re one of the pretty ones… And he’s not half bad looking either… Though he could do with more sleep. While I’m at it, you could to..” The villain stroked over your cheek and you flinch, finally letting tears fall, your nose burning as you held back and tried to hold out for back up that’d never come to your aid. “Shinso over there deserves a spot in the hero course- More than about three of those damn pesky hero wannabes- and that’s just off the top of my head,” The villain continued to press on. “… So tell me why exactly you’re both in general studies or whatever?”

As much as you didn’t want to believe it, it was the truth. Did it irk you so much because those words that you heard your late parents utter come from a villain’s lips? Why did you feel so much about it? Why did you feel so much for the villain? Why the FUCK should you care?… But also, what’s with the hesitation? They’re the enemy! They tried to kill you at the end of the day…. And you know that they damn well easily could… But they didn’t.

You threw the covers off of you and you shook your head quickly.

“NO! No no no no!!!! Get out of my head!” You hit your head against the mattress, your body aching and coated in lazily wrapped up bruises, cuts, scars and slashes that’d scabbed over and opened back up, the blood searing your skin-or so it felt like- as it slid down from your injury. You suddenly remembered where Shinso went- out to get a medicinal refill. One for your pain and another for these harsh flashbacks. You tried to relax, sliding out of the bed, the thunder rumbling making you way more jumpy than usual. You made it to the bathroom and locked yourself inside, pressing your back against the wall, sliding down until you were sitting on the ground, hugging your knees, crying in the darkness, your eyes narrowed out in rage as you relived the scene, the villain now jeering at you as you squirm helplessly within their henchman’s grasp.

“O-Of course I’m sure…” But were you really? You winced as you felt the villain closing in, smirking, his lips practically touching your ear, his hands on your hips… Protectively? You try and kick away and you’re roughly pushed against a broken building on fire. They smirk as you squeak, trying your hardest to push them off of you but you can’t muster up the strength from your broken body and you end up a mass of tears. How the fuck did you even manage to escape the henchmen and fight them off long enough? You might as well have stayed held up… You cornered yourself. Freedom short lived but also at the hand of Shinso’s safety.

“If only I was smarter… He would be able to fight off longer…”

“Aw, honey. What are you so scared of,” they teased and taunted, wiping your tears gently. You tried to think… What WERE you afraid of? You assumed already that becoming a hero wouldn’t be an easy or particularly safe job, you knew what you wanted- to save people. Were you scared that suddenly you were powerless against a pretty powerless villain? Or that none of the bigger heroes had came to your aide? Or… Maybe it was what the villain said was true and you didn’t want to accept it. Maybe it was because you didn’t have much power, and because of that, the death toll of surrounding civilians continued to climb higher. Maybe it was the fact that finally you might be dying. Maybe you were scared for Shinso? But… He was still fighting. Why couldn’t you? Your face overcame a weak shade of red as you heard the villain snicker in your ear, their breath tickling at your ear lobe. You flinch and try and push away, a sharp shard of debris from the broken building plunging into your skin and muscles, narrowly missing your spine. You wince and yell out loudly, wondering how long you could keep going, your knees weak, hero costume torn and tattered, your knees giving out as you lean against the enemy for support wondering when your fucking support was gonna come. It’d been HOURS and you and Shinso have been holding your own both of you wishing you could’ve ended the fighting sooner, but physically unable to.

“I guess… In the end, they were right. I DO indeed make a much better villain… These people.. They give me everything I could have ever asked for… A home. Acceptance.. But you fucking assholes… You’re trying to take that from me! WE DON’T NEED MONEY OR ANYTHING FLASHY TO SUCCEED! I’m sick of the world only saving certain people. That’s why we do what we do… SO the world can save everyone… But you motherfuckers don’t see it.. You’re trying to destroy it… And guess what? I have backup and you don’t. OUR family is more loyal than yours… You know they can all see you right? You’re the face of everyone’s screens… You’re on the heroes’s radar. But they don’t give a DAMN. You’re. Not. Them. Now.. Enough of that. I asked you a question. Be a good little hero and answer it or I’ll just have to kill you,” they shrugged, unsheathing a beautiful blade with vines engraved so neatly, the shine reflecting orange and yellow on your skin. They started dragging the tip up your arms. “Was it what I said? Are you realizing that it’s the truth,” they hissed in your ear.

“Mmm.. Cmon… Speak up. I can’t hear you.. But before you lie to me… Look around. Where’s that beloved All Might of yours? Where’s Endeavor? Or Ecto, or Orca? Eraserhead? Your own teacher?! Nowhere. Just you and Shinso. How the hell are you two supposed to defend against all of us? They sent you out to die. They know where you both are but they aren’t here. Huh. And yet-“

“SHUT UP,” you cried out, wiggling against your restraints trying to push those thoughts to the side. “Fuck fuck fuck… Please… Please shut up!” They ran their fingers through your hair, leering over you as they admired the beautiful tears that fell from your face at first from being scared and then next from realization. “Oh sweetheart~ You say I have no power over you, just you wait,” they winked and they backed away dropping their weapon and ogling you. “I’ll just help you out. We ALL surrender,” he retreated, yawning, the spotlights falling over you and a beat up Hitoshi, panting and bleeding though you were more broken, the villains surrounding the both of you receding into one clump. Your knees gave out and you dropped to the ground having no crutch, the villain antagonizing you having fell back. You were falling unconscious practically, your eyes fluttering and unresponsive.

“(Y/N!)” You heard Shinso’s smooth voice barely before you tried to answer with a small grunt. You felt new warmth taking over as he dropped next to you, brushing your tattered hair out of your face, his eyes wide with rage and worry. “(Y/N), answer me,” he said softly, cradling your head against his chest.

“Y-Yeah..” You managed a small response, your mind instantly becoming foggy and your body warm as he activated his quirk, his voice chiming quietly in your head.

“Just stay with me, baby. We’ll get you to the doctors… Rest…” And that’s all you heard before you’d slipped, your body tingling from the blood loss.

You were ripped from this flashback and you were cradling yourself, trembling on the cold tiled floor of your bathroom waiting for Shinso to come back, knowing that you couldn’t take much more of this.

“They were right,” you whispered quietly. You went to talk to All Might about what happened, asking to seek counseling and help because of these severe PTSD episodes and he simply brushed you off with, “All heroes are expected to perform at top! Meds and further counseling could be damaging to your performance,” and Endeavor pretty much told you to get over it. You remembered how all of the villains had back up and they even seemed to have your back too. They knew that they could all kill you AND Shinso in the same breath but instead they surrendered and opened your eyes. You didn’t want to believe it… Did you really belong in the hero course? Were they just saying that to get in your head? You didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“Why are those fucking hero course kids treated like fine china?? Why do they get special counseling, training, and shit and we’re stuck here?! Why?! WHY! I’m trying to work my ass off even more than they do because they have flashy quirks!” You slowly stopped crying, sitting up on your knees absolutely enraged as you stared at the floor.

“They had loads of support… Where was everyone when we needed them…? Did they really send us out to die?” You rubbed your arm as you tried not to slip into your previous mind state, waiting patiently. There was a gentle knock on the door, causing you to jump and shriek.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” It was just Shinso… The very person you’d wished to see. But why did suddenly it feel all wrong? You heard a small paper bag rustling on the other side and you sighed softly, draping your hand over your forehead, slowly unlocking the door, your knuckles broken and bloodied from pounding at the floor. Shinso’s eyes widened. He knew that your episodes were bad but you never went so far as to do this. It was mostly just crying and trembling. The answer was obvious but the both of you didn’t really care for the honest truth. You’d broke… You lost faith and hope. Your hard work, busting your ass trying to catch up to the hero course kids— Even MINETA! He’s a fucking perv that wears a bowl as his hero costume!

“(Y/N)… What happened..?” He asked with caution, probably already knowing what’d gone down in his absence. Your eyes teared up as you saw his expression, his eyes swirling with intense dejection and brood. Suddenly you felt that you were in the way. In the way of his happiness and your fellow students. But… How could you just stand by and watch as your friends try and fail to reach the impossible status of the Hero Course kids. You didn’t hate Class 1A for this, it’s not their fault after all. It’s always been like this even before they knew how to say UA High. You were deflated instantly, but still you were determined to find answers but too weak to accept the truth if it came from a villain’s lips. Shinso noticed the lax that seized your posture and he sat on the ground beside you as you refused to answer his question. You zoned out.. AGAIN, your eyes now fixated on that white paper bag that sat beside your boyfriend’s foot.

“(Y/N)?” He snapped in front of your eyes a couple of times and you jumped, snatched back to reality, his messy purple hair sunk in front of his eyes, his eyes looking even more tired than usual. You couldn’t help but to think it was because of you. Then, he saw that you were back with him and not the monsters of your mind, his sleepy smile replacing the look of worry that was on his face when he came back to see you broken on the ground.

“H-Huh? O-Oh! S-Sor-“ And just like that, you were under his spell. He’d asked a question and you responded. His eyes were a little more hopeful and you gave in immediately to him as he gently commanded you around.

“Come here and cuddle me,” he said softly, his words the only thing present in your head. With each command he gave, your body had a surge of warmth flowing through your veins causing you to shiver. This was the most relaxed you’d felt since… Since you got accepted to UA. You scooted a little, sitting up and straddling his lap, your legs wrapped around his waist and your head rested on his chest. He smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist, picking both you and the bag up off of the floor and walking back to your room.

You snuggled into his chest, your mind still fuzzy as he sat down at the foot of the bed, hugging you tighter, the bag now rested at the side of you.

“Relax, baby,” he whispered in that soothing tone in your ear and suddenly, your body’s tension melted away and you leaned into him more. “Good kitty,” he chuckled softly as he started to rub your back. “Now.. Tell me what happened.”

Before you knew it, you were spilling your guts starting with details of the fight to the breakdown you were going through and he grunted softly with a small nod, his jawline tensing up. “Hitoshi,” you whispered softly against his chest. “When will it get better?… When will I stop looking at pill bottles with malicious intent… When can we finally be good enough for everyone. I mean fuck.. We’re third years now and the kids that were in class 1A are still held on the highest possible pedestal,” you whimper as the pain of your injuries become more apparent, your brain coming down from the numbing high he put you under. “…When will I stop getting in the way of you,” you added quietly, shifting a little and wincing, holding back more tears as you bury your face in his chest. Why’d you let it slip? He stroked over your hair and he continued to lull you into relaxation with his words.

“Hey… Listen to me, (y/n),” he started, his hand on your hip the other ducking under your chin, his eyes locking onto yours as he guided your head up. “You’re NEVER in the way of me, okay? I understand… You think your hard work was all for nothing… Hero society is kind of.. Fucked up in that way, but listen to me. Okay? Are you listening?” His jawline tensed as he stared at you and you nodded slowly, brushing his sleek purple bangs out of his face.

“You’re everything to me… I know you’re thinking of ditching this UA bullshit.. Hell I was whenever everyone told me how great of a villain I’d make because of my stupid quirk,” he said lowly, his voice a little wavery as he began to well up himself.

“But…. Why can’t we become heroes that save everyone? We could.. I dunno make a smaller group.. For people with smaller quirks when we become pros. It’s not a matter of if.. And we don’t have to be super popular. I mean, think about it… Eraser isn’t too popular… But everyone knows his name and knows him as an underground hero.. And he’s got a quirk just like us. If he could do it then we definitely can… Just stick it out with me a little longer, baby. I promise you that things’ll get better.” He caressed your cheek gently and you let his words replace the villain’s. You pushed your head into his hands and you looked away from his eyes and down at his chest.

“They surrendered for us… Toshi.. They were more of a family… They were together… And once ONE said to back off they all did… H-He said that the heroes could see us.. We were on the radar and we were ignored… How am I supposed to take that? I just.. I want a place where I can finally feel fucking normal.. Safe… Protected… He said it in the best and worst way.. We’re not the money makers here… So big name heroes don’t help… We exist too…”

Shinso nodded and a small smile crossed his lips as he shed his jacket and wrapped it around you, the harsh punches of hard rain hitting your window finally subsiding a little.

“Baby. So what if they saw us? They didn’t help and that’s on them. WE’RE known now though… If they are doing it for the money… Well then they’re not real heroes. We’re becoming heroes to save people.. Not… Money. Not fame. We’re gonna be the ones that save everyone and not just certain people… And maybe- just maybe.. We can coax those villains that we were fighting against out of villainy and maybe they’ll join us… Who knows?”

You smile at his hopefulness and you sit up again, pressing your lips against his and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He returned the kiss, both arms around your waist, a soft breath escaping him as he pushed into the kiss more. After a long, lingering moment, your drowsiness is more apparent and you pull away slowly, your lips still barely touching his, his forehead rested against yours. He opened his beautiful, exhausted indigo eyes and he stared into yours and you both sit there smiling at each other.

“I love you, Hitoshi,” you whisper quietly as you start to play in his hair.

“I love you too, Kitty,” he smiled more and held up the bag. “Let’s get you something to eat so you can take these okay? I think… Maybe a counseling session is in order? Since… We’re not hero course kids… We’ll have to pay for it ourselves, but it’ll be worth it! I promise,” he smiled at you as you take one of the bottles out of the bag. Once again, his pep talks calmed you down but this one inspired you. The incident was now seen in a new light… YOU weren’t the victim.. And you were gonna see to it personally that nobody else ever went through what both you and the villain did. You were going to make it, the villain’s and Shinso’s words to be the driver of your success.

“Hey Toshi?” You asked quietly as he set you on the bed and made his way into the kitchen. You followed him and leaned in the doorway, playing with one of the smooth pills in your hands as you looked at him

“Yes baby?” He rose an eyebrow as he sifted through the cabinets.

“…We’re all in the same school… We’re all students trying to be heroes.. So why are the rest of us treated like shit?” He made his way over to you, kissing your forehead, a pack of fruit snacks, a small container of cookies, a bag of chips, and a bottle of water in hand.

“You know.. That’s a good question… Maybe you should ask that when we’re top pros. I’ll be right by your side… Every single step of the way. I promise.” Your face burned with a bright blush and you grabbed Shinso’s hand, something slick and drenched rubbing against your legs. You jump and squeal quietly.

“AH! WHAT THE FU- Oh! Snowball? Why were you outside during the storm??” You picked up your fluffy cat and Shinso smiled, holding your waist from behind, kissing the cat in the middle of his ears. He’d begged you to get a cat for so long and you finally got one, against the advice of the teachers. You guys were adults now. You were gonna act like it at least.

“Hey… I have to take a shower… I’m all bloody and stuff.” He dragged you into the room, picking you up and tossing you on the bed along with the snacks. “Toshiii!!” He hopped on the bed next to you and climbed over you, kissing you gently everywhere but your lips, even attacking your neck a little.

“Kittyyyy,” he mocked you and rolled his eyes playfully. Snowball made his way in between the two of you and he took his place on your chest purring loudly. “I think Snowball wants you to stay. And I do too.”

“But-“

“Shhhhhh…. Just stay a little while, okay? Then I’ll let you go take a shower.” You smile a little at his words and he lays down on both you and Snowball. Snowball purrs louder and stares at your boyfriend, his arms draped over you and his eyes closed as you play with his hair, his head rested next to Snowball’s on your chest. He hummed quietly as you take the pill, your fingers massaging at his scalp. He and snowball both fall asleep on you and you just stare at them, playing soft music from your phone. Despite Shinso’s talk, you were still afraid to sleep, however.. You didn’t mind staying awake, staring down at your beautiful boyfriend with his jawline so sharp it could fucking chop cheese, his messy purple hair still sprawled out though it rested more in his face than it did a few years ago. The pain of your injuries began to subside. Your mind was clear. You look at the purring cat and he looks at you through his squinted eyes before he falls asleep.

Just his luck that the last thing he saw before he went to sleep today was that beautiful smiling face of yours.

#mha fluff #mha imagine #mha imagines #bnha shinso hitoshi #shinso x reader #shinso x you #bnha angst #mha aged up #please hype this up #please hydrate #Shinso fanfic #Shinso is the real mvp #shinsou x you #shinsou x y/n #gender neutral character #gender neutral fic

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steve0discusses · 4 years ago

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Yugioh Ep 32 S4: Most Disturbing Kid’s Show Award Goes to This Episode

I often talk about how wonderfully effed up Yugioh is. What a freakin delight, how effed up this kid’s show is, somehow still remaining a Y7 kid’s show, despite everything it tries to do to get pulled off the air.

Y’all this was a filler season and it didn’t even have Bakura in it so...why did it go so edge? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for how many levels of “OK THERE, KID’S SHOW” it was.

But what the hell was that, Yugioh?

Anyway we start off completely normal in this foggy ass graveyard--Halloweens in this season so I’m down for this. Halloween is also...cancelled...this year, so at least I can celebrate it somewhat in a Yugioh episode. Then again, can you imagine how many people would be dressed up as sexy Covid?

So I don’t really talk about the card game mechanics on here, and (full disclosure to any new people) I don’t know how to play this game. But, considering that this card doesn’t usually send you to distant graveyard memories IRL, lets get into it.

We’ve clarified before that Card Graveyard is a place--like an actual place--but that it isn’t the same place that the cards vibe in within the Puzzle necklace. It’s a separate place, but ALSO not the same place as the Shadow Realm, either. Card Graveyard is just...some other third place we never talk about.

TBQH I think the people who make this show have kinda forgotten how many random pocket dimensions we’ve made that are basically the equivalent of hell (including California, PS), and are just like “no one will write a blog about it and list them all in one place, we’ll be fine.”

We’ve only seen Tristan bum out here once in like S1 and he spent most of his time running away from the Grim Reaper. But, if you remember correctly, the Grim Reaper is currently hanging out and living his best life haunting some park in Japan, so now instead of the Grim Reaper it has...this?

So is this a memory stored within the card graveyard, or did Dartz literally take Raphael to the card graveyard and tell him this was a real ass graveyard?

We’ll never know! It gets very vague from here on out!

(read more under the cut)

First off, I’d like to welcome our new guest star--the Rain--there’s a lot of rain in this episode, and we animate it by just making all of our characters glow. This comes through fine in animation, but in caps I just want you to know that no one has gone super Saiyan, they’re just...wet.

PS get a gander at Raphael’s baby boy mutton chop mustache. They somehow got longer with time? And also, when soaked his hair is just as spiky. Everyone on this show has unparalleled hair gel. The real heart of the cards.

Anyway, Dartz shows Raphael a bunch of gravestones and is like “Get it???”

and me, the audience, was like “no???”

The headstones, by the by, aren’t...normal, either, they have Orichalcos symbols on them instead of words. So like...it sort of infers that his family was taken by Orichalcos, too. I mentioned before that it sorta feels like Dartz caused the whole shipwreck to munch up a bunch of yummy souls, and maybe he did in the Japanese version--cuz like...

...why else do all these headstones have Orichalcos symbols on this graveyard that you can only access through a card god like Dartz or Yami?

Just throwing that deep lore out there, and the fact that Raphael can’t really see it or understand is either because that didn’t happen or...Dartz totally killed his family, right? And that makes this relationship between the two of them extremely effed up?

This is a great show for kids with separation anxiety.

Which is...somewhat convincing of a motive for Raphael. He gives Raphael a way to move on from his trauma in the past, and it’s not a GREAT way to move on--but it’s falls in line with things Dartz has done with his other card generals by offering false redemption.

Like Mai needed to move on from her insane jealousy, so Orichalcos was her way to prove she was better than Joey Wheeler (which, honestly, no one needed proof of). Alister needed to move on from his dead brother, so Orichalcos was his way to get revenge. Valon also had a backstory but a bunch of it got deleted in the English version apparently so...

And Rex and Weevil needed...cards? I guess? I think they just needed a ride, mostly. And Orichalcos can give you a ride. It’s not like we had Uber in 2003 and clearly they were not fit for Caltrain.

And like Gurimo.............existed...?

Anyways, they’re looking for justice that they can see. Justice for their pain. To make that pain worth something for more than just suffering. A system where this type of thing can’t happen anymore. But the thing about justice is that...eh...it’s probably not done through cards that kill people.

OH OK, KID’S SHOW.

Mmmmm take in that burying up your grave imagery. Again, this show is rated Y7 for 7 year olds, and I think that’s amazing.

Anyway, this is symbolism that is so heavy handed that it really needs no explanation, so he’s just gonna dig dig dig for...days I guess? Relive his trauma over and over again? Dig up that past like you’re a popular artist on twitter and you gotta make all of your followers relive that time you got called out because you offended a hell ton of people?

(Which is so many people on art twitter right now, ps, you don’t even know which one I’m talking about because It’s SO MANY of them. Art twitter during Quarantine is like watching the fall of Rome but it’s freakin Art Twitter. Everyone’s the freakin worst and just poopin all over themselves as they roll all the way down the steps.)

But I want to know. Who’s grave this is? It has a slightly different meaning if it were his family’s or his own. I guess I’ll have to save it for the fanfiction.

And so to add another level of spook, Raphael’s card mom shows up and kinda just stands there with a sad face?

Raphael’s reaction to seeing his card just alive and hanging out was “I’ll get to you in a sec, I gotta do some unforgivable evil, first.“

WHERE DID THEY GO?

These two shots are like nearly back to back. They’re just GONE. No explanation.

And yes I’m gonna talk about the outfit because it makes no freakin sense, even for a Yugioh card. Granted, this was a show made in Japan, for kids, with a budget that had a limit. A lot of people get involved with these productions, many aren’t artists or historians versed in American History, just basic ass business people. That be TV.

But her outfit looks waaay too modern. Like she’s gonna go to a musical festival, drop acid and climb on top of a statue and take a bunch of instagram selfies and regret all of them 4 years later. If these are Atlantean cards, this is not an Atlantis outfit to match with Dartz, who has been dressed vaguely medieval. So whyyyyy would this girl be dressed more like a vague old western costume bought at a discount so she could vogue in front of installation art at Burning Man in 2008?

Anyway, I won’t even get into the bird that is slowly devouring her face as a stand in for a headdress or wtv. Just a lot of stuff happening here and I just wanna say, Yugioh did it so you won’t need to. Just delete that desire. Yugioh already did it so you are now free from wanting to draw...anything like this problematic situation on your own OCs.

And then Yugioh predicts exactly how I’d feel about this outfit.

And she then lights ON FIRE and falls dead into the grave he just buried for her.

And in case you were like “kinda on the nose there, Yugioh, that got DARK” she climbs out of his own grave with a spooky ass face and no more coconuts to share with her bros and he’s like...

Rapheal’s reaction was like...Ya OK I can get used to this, and Yami is just pointing at the scene desperately trying to follow Raphael’s brain waves.

And like, this is YAMI.

Yami just walked through Yugi Hell earlier today. He’s seen some stuff. He’s already undug his own grave this morning in a more poetic card sort of way. But Raphael’s memories of literally digging up his family’s graves with his bare hands because Dartz told him to was...stuff he didn’t want to see today. (especially since it’s super suggested Dartz was the one who...murdered them in the first place, like I know it’s a reach but...it just feels like we were supposed to reach that conclusion)

But whether or not Dartz put the bodies here or gave Raphael a bunch of phoney graves, Raphael is still essentially siding with the guy who ruined the only thing he has left of his family--this paper card mom--and turned it into an undead evil Mom. And it just had...no freakin impact on Raphael at all.

Like what?

He just murdered your card mom. This is fine?

Card shenanigans continue and Raphael eventually realizes what he should have realized like 10 years ago when he was digging up graves and killing card Mom’s. That maybe it’s a bad idea. So Raphael decides to sacrifice his remaining monsters to “free” them from the graveyard and basically commits suicide. There’s no other way to say it, really. He kills himself.

But wait, right when you figure this episode will end like every other Orichalcos fight before it...They decide not to.

Like an angel from heaven, our drunk ass looking music concert reject descends from the clouds, along with all of Raphael's dead family members!

Yeah.

I REALLY didn’t expect them to show up. This was so much content it’s like...an entire season of any other TV show. I say that a lot with Yugioh but these episodes really like to just jam-pack it in there.

And here I thought I’d actually have to take them off the Death Count one day. Here I thought 4 kids would do something to like...prevent this many dead kids, but I was wrong.

Everyone’s HELLA DEAD.

it’s both vindicating to actually say that, despite 4kids, these kids absolutely died, but also disturbing because even Raphael is like “ah, the hallucinations today are really swell, right?”

NO, GHOST CHILD.

DON’T TELL ME THAT.

And I’ve been over before how “heart of the cards” is a catch-all phrase that can mean literally anything in this show, and it’s not the first time that cards have kept someone’s spirit around. No word on his family members if they are thrilled to be trapped in a Pharaoh situation, or whether they only occasionally drop from the heavens, or whether they have actually been the spirit that was within each of these cards the whole time. I don’t know.

And so the card family “cures” one of the most evil people on this show.

He’s fine now. This guy murdered the hell out of Yugi, our main character, but don’t think nor worry about it. This isn’t the show to worry about such things.

This show has Marik.

Bro and I were talking Star Wars the other day, and mostly about the Kylo Ren arc and how a lot of people happened to dislike that particular ending. Mostly about how there is a difference between your character being redeemed and being forgiven. I think this children’s show wants to redeem Raphael, but honestly, much like Kylo Ren--he’s just forgiven. And that’s fine. You don’t need to have your characters redeemed. We can stop at forgiveness.

And also, Yami forgives him immediately because he knows he can’t throw a single damn stone, his house is made out of 2 mm of extremely problematic glass.

Man, RIP Weevil, right?

Weevil who just pretended to rip up a card that could have been Yugi and got tossed off the freakin Caltrain? Raphael got off so freakin lucky and I am boggled he’s still alive. He freakin killed Yugi!

The injustice to Weevil right now, omg. Not like I enjoy Weevil. I super don’t enjoy that character. But DAMN. Yami murdered Weevil for even mentioning Yugi. Just feels like there’s a bit of a hypocritical line here in how the justice is dished out and...that tracks for a Pharaoh so I’ll just let it go.

And also, looking at that sunshine and I’m pretty sure they’ve been up over 48 straight hours. No one’s slept since Yugi died, right? I mean Yami is fine. We know from Bakura that puzzle people don’t need to sleep, or eat, or have blood in their body. But like Seto really needs to get Mokuba to bed.

(Although I am 85% positive that Mokuba is still part Noah Kaiba so it is...also unlikely that kid sleeps anymore, just leaving Mokuba’s future therapist so much to unpack.)

The GALL of this show right now.

Of all the generals--they saved RAPHAEL? Arguably the worst one?

I would take even Alister. I would take even Weevil.

Raphael?

I mean if he ends up as the next Duke Devlin, just driving us around for the final season of this show I guess I’ll accept this but, damn.

Raphael?

Are you sure, Yugioh???????????????????????????????????

Can’t we just let that guy die? He’s basically dead already, Yugioh. This guy does NOT want to be alive anymore. Literally everyone he cares about is super dead and now he doesn’t even have Card mom because she sacrificed herself to save his soul. This GUY.

I can’t believe Mai is dead but we still have Raphael.

The same disappointment when I watch British Bake off, man, they just...sometimes they save people and I’m like...no man...that one can’t bake. Just because they pulled something off last second does not mean they get to the semifinals. Raphael can’t bake.

Anyway, the episode attempts to end on a cliffhanger but like.

Just want to reiterate how common and boring Earthquakes usually are to a Californian. This was the most normal thing in this episode.

Man.

Freakin Raphael.

Anyway, if you just got here and is like “I don’t know who the hell Raphael even is,” Yeah, I know, I didn’t think twice about the dude until like just now, but if it’s because you’ve never seen my recaps before, I’ll direct you to the link to read these in Chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

Anyway, stay safe and have a very happy and safe Halloween alone eating your own carmel dipped apple slices.

#yugioh #ygo #recap #photo recap #yami muto #seto kaiba #raphael #weird redemption arc #tristan taylor #tea gardner #mokuba kaiba #joey wheeler #'s still a corpse #someone digs up their own grave at some point #it gets very dark for a character I have literally no interest in #and then like they're cured? freakin #this one was like for the Raphael fans in the house #shout out to you guys I know you must exist or else why is this episode even here?

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your-highnessmarvel · 5 years ago

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OMG Ellen You Didn’t!

Requested by Anonymous: Absolutely, so Chris x reader met at an industry party, she’s a newbie, he’s smitten when he first lays eyes on her dark chocolate skin.She a fan but she’s hesitant, she doesn’t know if he’s as cool as he seems. He approaches her, they hang out, she opens up about her past struggle with anxiety &he’s there for her &helps her navigate the craziness of the industry. Their friendship develops into a relationship, Chris falls hard for the one person he thought he’d never find...her, his future wife.

AN: THIS IS THE TYPE OF SPECIFIC I ABSOLUTELY LOVE UGH YAS. I made this comedic because i’ve been writing fluff and angst all day and my pretty poor heart hurts lol. i’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life without knowing, and when i finally put a word on it, it’s like i finally came to terms with who i was. to whoever suffers anxiety, past or present, my blog is a safe zone and so are my messages.

Warnings: angst, mentions of anxiety

*gif not mine

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MASTERLIST

Ellen gives a hug to Chris and they share a knowing laugh. She shakes your hand because she sees how nervous you are; what with the applauding audience and the screaming women.

Wow, you think, this is what it’s like being famous. Or more, being married to a famous guy.

Ellen encourages you both to sit. “Chris, so good to have you back,” she says.

Chris smiles, devilishly handsome as always. “Always good to be here, Ellen.”

“And Y/N, welcome to the show.”

You smile nervously, thankful for your sleeveless top for airing out your armpits. “Thank you for having me.”

Ellen smiles, crosses her leg over her knee, settles in. You take it as a cue to lean back into the couch, and Chris puts his arm comfortably behind you. From afar, it looks like regular couple stuff. But you know Chris is doing it for you; to make you feel safe with him, to let you know he is there. It is your first TV interview after all.

“So, it’s my understanding that Chris was the one running after you, Y/N?” Ellen asks. The audience laughs, and Chris gives you that puppy dog stare that makes your tummy fill with hot butterflies.

“Yeah he was like... head over heels for me.” You laugh when Ellen gives Chris a look.

“I mean,” Chris says, “look at her. How could I not?”

“What did he even do?” Ellen asks with a devilish smirk.

~~~

You wade your way through the crowd of faces, nervously biting the inside of your cheek. This party - this party with Hollywood figures - was filled with faces you’d seen on the Oscars stage as well as on the big screen. Your mind was going half a mile an hour and every time someone addressed a word to you, you’d stammer.

So you opted for staying on your own to avoid any more social suicide. You took a half full bottle of tequila and all but ran into a corner where there was a love seat and a perfect view of downtown New York. You sat with a relieved sigh, readjusting your top.

One more thing about Hollywood; everyone dressing fucking fancy for hella casual evenings. Like, this was a lowkey chilling that you were at, which you’d been invited by your staff team leader on the movie you were working on. Chilling means casual, right? Boy oh boy. Leonardo DiCaprio was wearing a full tux over there, hanging with his girl in a hot red dress.

You scratched the inside of your elbow nervously. You had opted for an over-sized sweater and leggings with fuzzy socks. Even the butler was dressed better than you were.

Ugh, you thought, I should have stayed home, but no, I wanted to get to know some celebs. Idiot.

You could feel the judgment from some people, but most of them treated you as if you were a fly on the wall.

You took a swing of the bottle, wincing because who the fuck can drink straight up tequila and remain stoic? Psychopaths.

A shadow glided over the floor in front of you, catching your attention, and you looked up midway through your grimace.

And almost spat the tequila right back up.

It was motherfucking Chris Evans. Of all the dorks that could have stood before you, holding his Stella Artoise and staring out the window like a Dad, it was good old Chris E.

“Wow.”

You hadn’t meant for that to come out. It was more an interior dialogue. Had you drank that much already?

Chris turned to you with a smirk, showing off broad shoulders under a nice crimson suit. “Tequila don’t go down easy, huh?”

“It’s more like my pride.”

He snorted. “Don’t mind the people judging you for your sweater,” he said, giving you a wink. “I find it rather cute. And rather refreshing. I get invited to these things, and I always think someone’s gonna wake up and realize we could be in our pijamas. But pictures for instagram and whatnot get taken here. We have to look our best.”

You looked up, mystified by the man. He was staring back unabashedly, and maybe because he was a little tipsy and that’s why his inhibitions flew right out the fucking window. But his cheeks were pink. His eyes were so blue, and he dragged them along any inch of exposed skin he could find. All while remaining the most respectable man.

“You look - uh - good,” you said. Then you frowned, shook your head. What the hell kinda thing is that to say?

He chuckled. “Thank you.” Then he plopped right down next to you. “I find you look absolutely ravishing.”

Your cheeks became so hot you thought they’d peel right off. “Okay.”

His eyes went wide just as you all but slapped your forehead. “Man, I’m so dumb,” you groaned, feeling the heat crawl down your neck and chest. “I meant thank you, obviously. It’s just... like wow, you’re Chris Evans and you’re wearing a blood red suit and your hair looks so soft!”

He threw his head back and laughed, exposing pale flesh at the neck. “Can I say something too?”

“Yeah.”

“Your skin is breathtaking.” Then his eyes went serious, looking at you as if he was trying to open the doors to your mind. “May I?” he asked, pointer finger hovering over the chocolate flesh of your wrist.

Oh my God! Chris was going to touch you!

“Y-yeah.”

He pressed two fingers along your wrist, caressing the skin. “I saw you walk in,” he admitted. “And I just - when I saw you with your sweater and skin the color of coffee and hair in braids and eyes so bright. I thought... I’m sorry, am I being too much?” His serious tone quickly turned concerned.

You hadn’t noticed you were staring, mouth agape, heart beating like dad’s when they hammer a stubborn nail. “No, it’s fine,” you stammered.

He licked his lips before continuing. “I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.”

Wow, okay, he was drunk. Surely he’d seen Margot Robbie and Ana de Armas and every single other Hollywood actress.

“If you say okay, I’m going to cry.”

You laughed, his fingers still skimming the skin of your wrist. “Thank you, Chris.”

He smiled, eyes crinkling. “I want to be your friend,” he stated, fishing out his phone. “Is it alright if I ask for your number, and we can go grab coffee or walk my dog together sometime?”

His dog. It was an automatic, “Yes.”

~~~

“So, if I understand correctly, Chris was totally smitten by you?”

“Oh, Ellen,” you answer with an exaggerated tone, “he was already planning the wedding.”

“Oh!” Chris left-boob-grabs and throws his head back in laughter. “She was the one staring at me with googly eyes!”

“Yeah, right!”

“And, what?” Ellen continues to pry. “Right away, you both fell in love?”

“Well,” Chris says, smoothing his beard in thought. “We started by trying to be friends, as these things go, you know. Make sure we’re compatible. But it was clear, like, oh, right away that she was meant for me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Wow, Chris, so poetic.”

~~~

You stuffed your mouth with the doughnut, giving Dodger smiles and pats on the head as you walked beside him. You looked up at Chris, giving him also a cute smile.

“Never met anyone who actively eats strawberry-stuffed white-powdered doughnuts,” he said. It was cold outside and grey, what with is raining all weekend, so Chris wore a big blue hoodie and trousers, looking warm and cozy.

“That’s because you’ve never met anyone like me,” you answered. You tightened the scarf around your neck.

“That’s damn right.”

This was your third date with Chris, and you still had trouble making thoughts into proper phrases. First date had gone swimmingly because Chris was a sweetheart who knew exactly how to make someone comfortable. He’d brought you to the aquarium, and he’d displayed subtle but intricate knowledge on puffer fish. Second date, he’d brought you to watch a local baseball game and then he bought you ice cream, which sealed the deal because a man who buys you ice cream is a man you want to keep.

And now, walking with Dodger after you’d made the drive all the way to Chris’s house. You’d waited outside, feeling like an impostor standing before Chris Evans’s front fucking door with your wool sweater and scarf and mittens.

“What say you to a tour of my grand home afterwards?” he asked now, giving you a side glance.

You were holding Dodger’s leash, and you were watching him waddle beside you like a good boy. When Chris proposed that, your cheeks went white hot. “Um, yeah, that sounds good,” you said, swallowing thickly.

“You don’t have to come in,” he said. “I just got a new deck of cards I want to try out.”

Chris’s house was huge. Inside, there was a lot of sunlight from the immense windows. A lot of airy spaces for lounging, eating, exercising. He was careful in avoiding his bedroom, giving you a tour with his hands inside his trouser pockets. He showed you where Dodger likes to sleep; the head of the couch, by the backdoor window where the sun cooks him, and on his doggy bed that is settled in Chris’s office.

“He snores,” Chris said as he directed you to the kitchen. “And he dreams all the time.”

“Like father like son, huh.”

“I don’t think I snore.”

You winked, the first time you’d ever been cocky and confident in front of him. “We’ll see.”

He brushed a hand through his hair, laughing. He reached into a cupboard and took out a card game. “Ever played Brisc?” he asked.

“No.”

“Then sit.” He sat at the table, encouraging you to sit directly in front of him. He explained the game to you very simply, and you tried your best to memorize all the rules. “How are you taking it in the industry,” he asked, seemingly absentminded.

You looked up in surprise. Had he been asking about you? How did he know you were very new in the show business? “I’m doing... okay?”

“I used to have nightmares about it when I was younger?”

“Nightmares?”

He won the first round.

“Yeah, and panic attacks before going to auditions or premiers,” he continued, giving you shy half smiles. “I’ve been in this business quite a while to know that the demands are incredibly high. And especially for women.”

You bit your lip, holding your cards against your chest. Hesitantly, you put one down. Was it okay for you to unpack everything onto him? Was it okay to tell him how bad your anxiety had gotten to you in the past and how it still got to you? This was a big A-list celebrity with paparazzi waiting for him on every corner so much so that he had to wear sunglasses and caps wherever he went.

“It’s just so demanding,” you sighed. “It’s just status, and higher ups, and big names, and they all feel like they have the right to tell me what to do and how to do my job correctly. The bar is set so high. There is no room for mistakes, and if you make just one false move, they look at you like you killed a puppy.”

Chris nodded understandingly. “It’s so hard to navigate this industry,” he answered. “And it’s because they call it business and not personal, but some things, they just... ah, they just feel real personal, don’t they?”

You huffed. “My anxiety used to be through the roof,” you went on. “It still is. Sometimes, I have no idea how to calm the wave that comes through my chest.”

Chris reaches across the vast expanse of wood, palm up, eyes blue and open. “I can help you,” he said. “I know what it’s like to feel like you’re drowning. I can help you find resources and people to put on your personal team, to build a support. There’s no shame in reaching out.”

He was being so sincere that your chest tightened with a new emotion once unbeknownst to you. “Thank you,” you whispered sincerely.

After the card game, Chris walked you to your car, hands in his pockets. Shy. Timid.

“I really like our friendship,” he said. Your heart contracted, as if lead had been poured down into your arteries, and you smiled tightly.

Friendship?

“Yeah.”

He hesitated, eyes searching your face, but you were looking down. He scuffed the toe of his boot on the gravel. “I don’t wanna be friends, though,” he mumbled.

As soon as the hurt had entered your system, it flew right the fuck out and you looked up expectantly. Eyes wide. Cheeks on fire. Heart hammering. “Me n-neither.”

He took a step forward, and your chin went up, keeping up with his impressive height. He put each palm on the side of your burning face. When he kissed you, his lips were hesitant and soft, careful and warm. The tip of his tongue on your bottom lip. You leaned into him, grasping his waist, heart hammering, thoughts reeling.

He smelled so good.

His lips were so perfect, chapped yet warm and delicate.

He pulled back slowly, resting his forehead on yours, laughing a little. “I feel like this is the start of something good,” he whispered.

You smiled shyly, and he picked you up into his arms, pinning you to his chest, feet dangling off the ground

~~~

“That’s so sweet,” Ellen said. “You two are so sweet on twitter. The first picture you ever posted of Y/N was this.”

“Oh no,” you mumbled, quite to the audience’s laughter.

A photo of you, one that Chris had taken from a film-type camera, appeared on the monitor. It was in the dead of night, at a park you and Chris had sneaked off to during a party. You were brightly illuminated by the flash of the camera. You wore a bright red hoodie, low jeans, and white shoes. Your left leg was brought up, showing the curve of your ass. Your tongue was sticking out, grimacing, and your hands were up in two peace signs.

“He could have easily picked pictures of us on red carpet events when I actually look good, but no, he posted this absolute gem,” you laughed, feeling Chris squeezing your shoulder tenderly.

“But she’s so gorgeous in this!” Chris defended. “She looks like herself, the girl I’m with every day.”

“Okay yes, but Y/N posted something much better,” Ellen said, pointing to the monitor.

Another picture of you, sitting behind Dodger, smiling all your pearly whites. Your skin was glowing, and you remembered feeling good about yourself that day. Dodger was being crazy, licking under your chin, and in the far, far corner of the picture, one could see half of Chris’s body.

“And you posted that,” Ellen continued, “with the caption reading, “Love my Valentine so much. Chris, you are a wonder.”.”

You burst out laughing with the audience, watching as Chris made a sarcastic face and shook his head.

When the audience died down, Chris said, “No no, we joke a lot, but I love this woman so much. I mean, I married her for a reason. She’s my best friend, my lover, my confidant. I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anybody else.”

You patted his knee, aware that if you full on kissed him, it would be all over social media.

Ellen said something about what would happen after the break, but you were looking Chris in the eyes. Leaning into his shoulder, the world around you fell away, stripped, and it was just you and him. You and him against the world.

#chris evans #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #oneshot #imagine #fluff #angst #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x yn

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