#i almost started crying from it though. like it literally makes me feel like I'm drowning. thrashing madly as parasites might in your blood
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your amnesiac au makes me scream and sob and cry forever & ever do you have any thoughts or comments on it that you havent been able to share to the world yet
CRIES AS I DROP MILLIONS OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE SKETCHES FROM MY POCKETS, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I HAVE YET TO BE ABLE TO SHARE OR MAKE COHERENT
ahh i've been posting a Little out of order, as in this au smilk and pv have actually been communicating since beast yeast ep 1&2!! smilk's been haunting his ass for a while now and they had even started to become accustomed to the other, finding their similarities and behaviors easy to understand and work with.... white lily knows pure vanilla has been talking to him, but hoped the extent of those interactions was just uncomfortable threats and taunts....
she was Not happy when pure vanilla disappeared and more so when he came back with memory-less shadow milk
a lot of stuff is up in the air considering these bastards story isn't finished yet, but i think the incident leading to smilk's amnesia takes place in the time of golden cheese getting yoinked by burning spice? so while shes fighting for her life, pv is dragging a clown out of the bushes and begging for white lily to not send him immediately to the dungeons
the spell that pv hit smilk with i've decided is quite literally a baby version of smilk's attack ingame! ☝️or at least, a really fucked up version of it, pv is REALLY bad at attack magic and heh. well. now smilk's souljam is cracked and he can't seem to remember anything! though he does still retain a lot of his old knowledge, like spell creation and sciences, old folklore....... it actually unnerves him a lot, how much he knows yet knows nothing of himself
pure vanilla actually feels really guilty about attacking smilk, but he was cornered and wasn't going to last much longer healing himself over and over again. part of the reason he decided to help him and take him in! part.
pure vanilla is not very honest about his motivations in regards to shadow milk
when the ancients find out about pure vanilla (and to an extent, white lily) harboring shadow milk in the faerie kingdom, they're very... not enthused! dark cacao visits along with golden cheese to make sure they're alright and it wasn't a false letter, and almost attack smilk on sight. valid honestly.
golden cheese especially since she just finished dealing with burning spice by this point (classic pv move to take a while before admitting he has another criminal in his sleeve)
hollyberry comes to visit when its her turn with her beast (eternal sugar babygirl come home) and she's actually the only ancient to support pvs attempt at rehabilitation of shadow milk, of course after trying to beat him to a pulp a little! (pv twitches at the word rehabilitation)
hmm last thing to end this ramble, shadow milk's cracked souljam made it unusable, think of it like a dead battery
he can't access the powers it granted him, but it also means the corruption of the souljam was made null. the shadow milk of this au is corruption free and so a lot of the things he'll be told about himself is a little... jarring. terrifying maybe.
i mean... you really don't know what you're capable of until you do it, i suppose!
i'm giving everyone a morality crisis
#anon#amnesiac au#pure vanilla crk#shadow milk cookie#aaaah i rambled so much#if anyone has more questions they can send em right in ill. get to them. eventually.#sobs in my wips
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The Tragically Hip performing "Grace, Too" and "Nautical Disaster" on Saturday Night Live, 1995
#getting into the christmas spirit with some gord content#absolutely obsessed with him being too preoccupied by doing the '11' fingers for his nephews birthday that he forgot the lyrics#and I'm like gordie baby youre absolutely right. she said IM TRAGICALLY HIP well yes i am <3#and his eyes go so big for a second#i had to include a gif for rob's hair too. gorgeous shampoo commercial of a man !!#gord is so sweet tho omg#nautical disaster just isn't the same without him GLOWING but still. awesome showstopping perfect etc etc#i almost started crying from it though. like it literally makes me feel like I'm drowning. thrashing madly as parasites might in your blood#like gord angel how am i supposed to not sob when you sing about this?? or do i just have pms. maybe.#'our conversation's as faint a sound in my memory as those fingernails scratching on my hull'? like you know i cannot remember my ex's voice#and everything he ever said to me is lost as it slips from my brain over time. anyway. i am drowning... and only gord can save me#anyway lol. isn't he a cutie pie#the tragically hip
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With you, always
pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader (implied fem)
genre: fluff, suggestive, pinch of angst
wc: 5.5k
synopsis: you ask your best friend to help you win over your crush.
warnings: college!au, fake dating, best friends to lovers trope, crying, a few kissing scenes and one make out scene
a/n: wanted to try my hand out at a fake dating scenario, hope you like this one🥹🫶🏻
(i also needed something cute and fluffy bcs i had the shittiest week😭)
divider by: @strangergraphics-archive
masterlist
Maybe it was an exaggeration, but for Hyunjin today was the most important day of his life.
It had been more than a month since he started gathering the courage to finally confess to his best friend, you.
He was more than nervous, tossing and turning in his bed the night prior, imagining all the scenarios, every single possibility from you falling into his arms to you slapping him and walking away forever.
He couldn't stand the thought of the last option, hoping that even if you didn't reciprocate his feelings, maybe you'd still be his best friend cause he really would suck it up for you, just so he can stay by your side.
But Hyunjin was 99% sure you felt the same, and that the 1% was just his own doubts creating negative outcomes in his mind.
You've been best friends for almost five years now, meeting through your mutual friend Changbin who you lived close to and hung out with, inevitably becoming close to Hyunjin too.
Changbin moved away but still kept in touch, leaving Hyunjin and you to bond with each other; going as far as attending the same university.
You've been inseparable since then, there was rarely any moment you didn't spend together.
There was no way you spent so much time with him and didn't come to love him the way he loved you; that's what Hyunjin kept telling himself.
Anyways, you were always so good to him, it must mean something right?
Hyunjin's palms were clammy as he wiped them on his jeans for the nth time today, giving himself the ick for a moment.
He was on the edge, jittery as he kept shifting from foot to foot, waiting for you to arrive so you can go to your classes together.
He had it all planned.
After class he would ask you to meet up in your 'secret place', a bench under a tree near the campus where you two would sit and spend time together, and there he would gift you the painting he had carefully created for you, the beautiful everlasting bouquet of flowers that would never wither just like his love for you.
Then he would tell you how much you mean to him, how he has loved you this whole time... And he didn't know how you'd react, maybe your eyes would tear up, maybe you'd hug him instantly... But he knew it would end with a sweet kiss and Hyunjin asking you to be his.
He got lost in the scenarios he's been making up for weeks, not even noticing that you appeared before him.
"Earth to Hyunjin?" you wave your hand in front of his face and he snaps out of his thoughts, hoping he didn't say anything out loud and accidentally revealed his plan.
"Oh, sorry I'm still asleep." Hyunjin chuckles, his cheeks rosy.
"That's why I got you this." you give him a cup of coffee, holding another cup in your other hand.
"See now, this is why I hang out with you." Hyunjin nods, grabbing the cup from your hand.
Your fingers touch for a moment and he feels electricity run through his body.
"Glad to know you're just using me for coffee." you act annoyed even though you know he's just teasing you.
"And your notes. You're way better at taking them than I am." he says after taking a sip of his beverage, a smug smile spreading on his face.
"That's cause you daydream 24/7, you dork." you nudge him with your shoulder as you start making your way across the campus.
"I do not." Hyunjin pouts.
"Yes, you do. You were literally doing it just now when I came up to you." you poke his side and he jumps a little, letting out a squeak.
"I was just... nevermind. Listen-" Hyunjin starts, swallowing a big lump that's forming in his throat.
You look up at him, your eyes big and curious as you stare into his, making him melt into the ground.
"There's something I want to tell you. Today. I mean, later. Yeah. We can meet up at our spot?"
You notice his voice trembling a little, hoping it's not some bad news.
"Really? I have something I wanna tell you too." you smile wide and Hyunjin's heart starts pounding against his chest.
Did you think of confessing to him too?
"What?" he laughs in disbelief. "About what?"
"Well... Should I just say it? I'm impatient, you know that." your eyes sparkle as you keep looking at Hyunjin, your smile wide and cheeks dusted in pink.
"Yeah." Hyunjin's throat constricts. This is it.
"Okay. Well. Remember Minho? We have a few classes with him?"
Hyunjin frowns. What does Minho have to do with anything?
"Yeah, vaguely. What about him?" he gulps.
"I think I have a crush on him."
And just like that, Hyunjin's ears start ringing as he stands there, feeling like someone just dumped icy water all over him and also smacked him with the bucket for good measure.
"What?" he doesn't want to believe that you just said that.
"Minho, I have a crush on him. Like- it's been there for some time but it was just a little one, I didn't pay attention to it but last weekend I ran into him and we talked, and he was really sweet."
"Is that all that it took for you to develop a crush on him?" Hyunjin's scowl is evident, annoyance written all over his face.
"Hyunjin!" you were taken aback by his tone. "No. It's just- we had a brief conversation and I felt like we had so much in common. I thought you'd be happy for me, you always tease me that I'll die alone if I don't find someone."
Hyunjin can see the confusion and insecurities reflecting in your eyes and his face softens.
He can't be cruel to you, never.
"I- I am happy for you. I just... Need to process."
"Are you jealous?" you smirk. "You'll always be my best friend, Jinnie, you know I'll never replace you."
"Best friend, huh?" Hyunjin scoffs. "Great. I just remembered I gotta go do something." he turns around, muttering under his breath.
"What? Class is about to start, where are you going?" you look at him confusedly as Hyunjin stares at the floor, walking away from you.
"Hyunjin, watch out!" you try to warn him, but it's already too late, his head collides with one of the trees growing in front of the building, the force of it making him fall back down on his butt as he wails loudly, grabbing at his forehead, his coffee spilled by his side.
"This is what I get." he mumbles, his bottom lip trembling as his eyes water.
"You dumbass." you appear by his side in mere seconds. "Let me see."
Hyunjin puts his hands down as you inspect his forehead.
"I think it's gonna be okay." you say, leaning so close to him so he can feel your warmth and smell your shampoo.
"Since when is this tree here?" Hyunjin grunts.
"Since like 60 years ago." you giggle.
Before he can compute what's happening, you grab Hyunjin's face and lean in, pressing your lips on his forehead gently.
How could you do this and not love him?
His eyes water again.
"Oh, don't cry you drama queen. This is like the third time this week that you ran into something with that thick head of yours. By now, I think the tree took more damage than you." you joke, trying to lift the mood up.
Hyunjin chuckles a little, not being able to stay mad at you even though you were driving him crazy in this moment.
"Come on, let's go to class now." you help pull him up, throwing the spilled cup in the trash.
"Here, we can share my coffee." you give him your cup, and Hyunjin shakes his head.
"It's okay."
"Also, what were you going to tell me?" you beam at him and Hyunjin feels like someone has squeezed his heart and lungs.
"Nothing. It's not important." he forces a smile, finding it harder to breathe suddenly.
"Really? Sounded important to me."
"It's not. Forget about it." he says as you walk through the front door.
"Alright, if you say so."
The two of you sit in one of the back rows as always, your eyes immediately searching for Minho, who always sits up front.
It's one of the classes you share with him and you await eagerly to see him, hoping he'd look up and wave at you.
Hyunjin takes out his notebook and pen, trying to act normal even though he feels as if he's been shot right in the chest and his heart is now bleeding out slowly.
He hears you gasp quietly and looks up.
Minho just walked in, dressed in a sleek black shirt and some jeans, looking effortlessly perfect and Hyunjin can see you visibly perk up as you stare at the man with a smile.
You should be looking at Hyunjin like that.
No, Hyunjin shakes his head. He shouldn't be thinking like this, he should be happy for you, he should support you.
After all, that's what best friends do.
You're getting ready to wave, but Minho doesn't even spare a glance your way, his face unreadable as he sits down, talking to some guy that's sitting next to him.
You visibly deflate and Hyunjin feels bad, putting his hand on your shoulder to reassure you.
"I'm sure he'll say hello to you later." Hyunjin says and you nod at him with a sigh.
During the entire lecture, your eyes kept wandering over to Minho while Hyunjin kept his eyes on you, his heart breaking as he watched you falling for someone else right before his eyes.
Why the hell did he wait for so long to tell you how he feels?
Now, he's lost his chance.
Hyunjin slumps back in his seat and decides to actually start taking notes even though he knows he'll end up stealing yours like he always does.
For the last three days you've been gushing about Minho nonstop.
Minho did this, Minho did that, Minho said this, Minho said that. Minho, Minho, Minho.
Hyunjin was already sick of it and imagining that guy actually reciprocating your feelings and becoming your boyfriend was making Hyunjin's stomach churn.
Minho seemed to take some kind of interest in you, at least that's what you thought from the brief conversations you'd have with him in the halls while Hyunjin watched you interact with him, your eyes sparkly and cheeks rosy.
He wanted to smack his own forehead against the wall until it hurts enough so he can forget about the pain he feels on the inside.
But the more Hyunjin observed Minho, it seemed to him that the guy was just being polite to you, answering your questions with a small smile on his face, nodding here and there as you talked.
That was not the face of a man in love, at least that's what Hyunjin believed.
"Minho told me that this shirt really matches my eye color." you're almost jumping around Hyunjin and he rolls his eyes.
"It's ugly."
"Hyunjin!" you smack your best friend's arm and he winces, acting like you just broke his bones.
"What?" he looks at you, his brows furrowed.
"You're jealous, Hyun. Admit it." you smirk, poking his side.
"Am not. Let's just go to class."
"Did you know that Minho's a dancer?" you quip suddenly as the two of you sit down.
"So what? I dance too." Hyunjin answers, taking his notebook out and not sparing you a glance.
He can't bring himself to look at your face while you talk about your crush.
"I know you dance but I didn't know he does too. He told me I could come watch him practice some time." you smile and Hyunjin almost chokes on his breath.
"He w-what?"
"I'm gonna watch him dance." you smirk and Hyunjin shakes his head.
"Whatever. Enjoy."
"Come with me." you grab at his arm and he tries to swat you away.
"I don't want to."
"Come on, pleaseeeeee." you whine, pouting at your best friend as you lean your cheek on his shoulder.
Hyunjin melts when he looks down at you.
"Fine." he sighs.
"Yay!" you quickly kiss his cheek and Hyunjin dies on the inside a little. "You're the best, Jinnie."
"Yeah, yeah, I know I am." he smirks at you while shaking his head.
Hoping somewhere deep inside that this is just a phase.
-
The very same day, Minho has dance practice and you drag Hyunjin to the dance room to watch.
There are some other dancers there, and some people sitting and watching so the two of you sit down next to them.
Hyunjin takes out his phone and you frown at him.
"Aren't you gonna watch with me?" you ask.
"I don't really care about his dancing. But you go ahead and enjoy." he shrugs.
"Sure." you look at Hyunjin for a few more moments as he concentrates on scrolling, a little sigh escaping your lips.
You're a bit worried since Hyunjin has never acted like this before and you kept wracking your brain, trying to figure out what is going on with him.
The music starts soon and you look up, your eyes falling on Minho.
His dance moves are sharp and on time, executed so smoothly, you've never seen someone dance so perfectly before.
You stare in awe and Hyunjin looks up with an annoyed face, his eyes traveling between the two of you and how flabbergasted you look.
When Minho finishes dancing, you're ready for him to come up to you and talk but instead a guy skips towards him and starts talking with a big smile on his face, his arms flailing around in excitement.
Minho smiles wide, eyes all sparkly and cheeks all rosy, you've never seen him react like that.
"So, what did you think?" you ask Hyunjin, hoping Minho won't just ignore you.
"He's too stiff." Hyunjin mutters, still looking at his phone.
"He totally isn't." you squint your eyes at him before standing up.
Sadly for you, Minho doesn't spare you a glance, quickly leaving the room with the guy who joined him.
"Are you fucking crazy?!" Hyunjin laughs in disbelief.
"Keep your voice down." you pinch his thigh.
"Ow!" he swats your hand away. "There is no way, y/n. I'm not gonna pretend to be your boyfriend."
"Please, Hyun! Who else will I ask? You want me to go to some stranger?!" you almost yell yourself and Hyunjin shushes you.
"What's in it for me?" Hyunjin crosses his arms and leans back.
"Mm, you're helping your lovely best friend?" you bat your eyelashes at him.
"This is crazy." he shakes his head.
"Is that a yes or no?" you beam at him.
"Fine. Fine, I'll be your fake boyfriend." Hyunjin feels like crying and laughing at the same time, the absurdity of his reality was really something.
"Yes! Thank you, Jinnie!" you throw your arms around him and he wraps his arms around your waist, holding you close, his heart fluttering in his chest.
"I owe you." you mutter into him.
"Damn right you do." he exhales, trying to calm his fast beating heart down.
For some reason, in your mind it made perfect sense.
Minho needed a nudge to make a move on you, and what better way to nudge him than making him jealous?
Hyunjin thought it was the dumbest idea he had ever heard but at this point, he was hoping that through your fake relationship you'd come to realize that he would be the perfect boyfriend for you, not some random guy you talked to a few times.
While he was trying to fall asleep in his bed that night, Hyunjin wondered just how far are you willing to take the lie.
-
The next morning, while Hyunjin waited for you to arrive like he always did, his heart was beating fast.
He was so nervous about the whole ordeal, not knowing how you'll approach him.
"Jinnie!" you waved slightly with a cup of coffee as soon as you spotted him.
He waved back a bit reluctantly as you beamed at him.
"Morning. Coffee for my handsome boyfriend." you smirked as you gave him his cup.
What the actual fuck?
His legs trembled for a moment and Hyunjin felt like the ground was crumbling underneath his feet and pretty soon he'll be joining it.
"Don't say it like that." he freaked out on the inside, hoping he wasn't blushing too hard.
"What? We need to get into character." you smiled, hooking your arm with his and practically dragging him towards the campus.
Oh, you are so going to be the end of him.
"Why can't we just act like we normally do?" Hyunjin whined as you approached the building.
"Because it won't be believeable. We have to act sweet like... like imagine if we were actually dating what would you do?"
You must be crazy, Hyunjin thinks as his lips fall open in shock.
"I'd probably kiss you." he says, half joking and knowing you'd never say yes to something so ludicrous.
"Okay, let's do it." you stand close to him, your hand slipping down to his as you interlace your fingers.
"What?!" Hyunjin yells and you squeeze his hand as a few people look your way.
"Hyunjin. Make it believeable. Come on, kiss me." you nod quickly.
Hyunjin's lips open and close a few times as he searches your face.
"In front of everyone? Shouldn't our first kiss be more intimate?" Hyunjin swallows and that's when your cheeks become rosy.
"They don't know it's our first kiss. Plus it's just pretend so let's do it." you don't know how much your words hurt him but Hyunjin is a fool for you so he nods.
"Okay." he lets go of your hand only to cup your cheek, and for some reason your heartbeat picks up speed.
You chalk it up to not kissing anyone for so long.
It's definitely not because of Hyunjin, right?
His eyes soften as he leans in and you meet him halfway, hearing his breath hitch before your lips finally make contact.
Hyunjin doesn't care why you're kissing him, because in this moment nothing really exists except you and him, the world around you melting away.
His lips are soft against yours, he tastes of coffee and the chocolate croissant he had for breakfast and just so Hyunjin.
It's exactly what you imagined he'd taste like.
Not that you ever thought about kissing your best friend.
You lean back before thoughts consume you and before the kiss can escalate.
Hyunjin feels like you just took his breath away.
"See? It went good." you say, but your voice trembles and your face is red.
"I think that was better than good." Hyunjin pouts but before you can retaliate someone calls out to you.
The two of you turn towards the voice and see Chan, one of your acquaintances from class as he approaches you with a smirk.
"Did you two finally get together?" he asks and Hyunjin coughs as your eyes widen.
"I- yes we did." you answer quickly as Hyunjin tranforms into a frozen tomato next to you.
"Gosh, I'm so happy for you guys. I always knew you were into each other, it was so obvious. Good luck!" Chan throws finger guns your way before running off to class.
His words echo in your mind. You were obvious? What the heck does that mean?
"Let's go to class." you grip Hyunjin's hand and he nods, still stunned by the kiss you shared and what Chan had said.
You sit in your usual spot in the back, Minho arriving a few minutes later and you visibly perk up.
"Quick, put your arm around me!" you startle Hyunjin who was doodling in his notebook but he does exactly what you asked.
His arm wraps around your shoulder and he brings you closer to his body just as Minho looks up your way.
You wave at him and Minho waves back with a smile, his eyes moving to Hyunjin shortly before he turns around and sits down.
"Did you see that? Do you think he looked jealous?" you whisper to your best friend.
"Maybe." Hyunjin shrugs, retracting his arm.
"Maybe?" you whine. "I need a yes not a maybe."
"Give it some time, y/n." Hyunjin is back to doodling.
How is he gonna endure this torture?
As it always was on the weekends, Hyunjin came to your place to hang out.
Usually your roommate was staying with her boyfriend every weekend so you had the apartment all to yourself.
After a good old gossip session and a movie marathon with snacks, Hyunjin and you were still snuggled up in your bed.
You were barely awake now, trying to focus on the third movie in a row while Hyunjin was keeping his eyes only on you.
A small smile danced on his lips as he observed your pouty face, your eyes fighting to stay open as you blinked tiredly, your face illuminated only by the tv.
He scooted closer to you, putting his arm around you and that jolted you from your half asleep state.
"What are you doing?" you asked and he chuckled, leaning his head on your shoulder.
"Getting my cuddles." Hyunjin smirks.
"Who gave you cuddle privileges?" you smirk back, deciding to tease him a little.
"I'm your best friend, of course I get cuddle privileges. Plus, consider it your payment for making me fake-date you." Hyunjin nuzzles into you, making you shiver a little.
"So it's that horrible to date me, hm?" you giggle, some kind of tension washing over you.
"Oh yeah, the absolute worst." Hyunjin jokes and you smack his arm immediately.
"Hey!" you protest and he laughs.
It's quiet for some time, and you close your eyes, your body is suddenly aware of everything.
You're aware of Hyunjin's warmth, his familiar and comforting scent, the way his breath hits your neck, his fluffy hair tickling your cheek, the heaviness of his arm and leg thrown over you and your heart starts beating faster.
You wonder why since this is not the first time Hyunjin and you cuddled, you started this tradition a year ago, it became normal to cuddle every weekend he stayed over.
You suddenly also wondered if that was normal; to cuddle your guy best friend.
You also thought about the kiss the two of you shared, what mostly replayed in your mind wasn't the actual kiss, it was the way Hyunjin looked at you when you parted.
His eyes seemed full of love and affection, he seemed soft and putty in that moment like he really wanted to kiss you, like it meant so much to him.
"Hyunjin?"
"Hm?"
"Can we practice kissing?" your brain just always comes up with great ideas.
Hyunjin freezes, his body stiff against yours.
"What?" he looks up at you with a nervous chuckle.
"So that it's more believeable in public."
He smirks.
"Are you sure it's not because you liked kissing me?" Hyunjin jokes, though on the inside he hopes you'll say yes.
"Shut up!" you whine. "This is just pretend, okay?"
"Sure, if you say so." he stares at you with a grin and you don't know if you would rather slap him or kiss him.
"Go on then." you whisper.
Hyunjin chuckles at your impatience, throwing his head back for a moment as his laughter jostles you.
When he looks back at you, something shifts in his eyes and you swallow the lump in your throat.
He slowly leans in and why are you nervous suddenly?
Hyunjin's lips press against yours and this time you melt as he hovers above you, kissing you gently, his fingers caressing your cheek and tracing your skin.
Your hand comes up to hold the back of his neck and play with his hair which makes Hyunjin press against your lips harder, kissing you with more passion than before.
Your mind is dizzy suddenly, this is nothing like the innocent kiss you shared in public, and something starts stirring up inside you as you drown out the noise of the movie, focusing only on your best friend.
Oh my god, you're making out with your best friend!
That thought crosses your mind just when Hyunjin's big hand ends up on your waist, squeezing a little as his tongue swipes your lip and you hear it in his heavy breathing, how worked up he's getting.
Something inside you ignites when you part your lips, letting him push his tongue inside as he starts gently playing with yours.
You almost quit thinking, your brain feeling foggy as your fingers tangle in his hair and you pull just a little.
It's enough to make Hyunjin groan into you and that snaps you back into reality.
You gasp, suddenly backing away as Hyunjin slowly blinks his eyes open, his face filled with lust and confusion of the sudden stop, his plump lips even more swollen and red after kissing you.
You can't believe he looks so attractive.
"I think we should stop now." you gulp.
"Was it too much?" Hyunjin's voice is raspy and something throbs inside you.
"Yeah."
"You wanted to practice." he adds, his eyes glued to your lips.
You didn't know what to say. Suddenly, you felt so confused about your feelings.
It's not like you never imagined kissing your best friend or being in a relationship with him but it always seemed to you like you would never be able to cross that barrier.
Being Hyunjin's best friend was familiar, comfortable, you didn't want to spoil that.
"What's wrong?" Hyunjin asks, seeing the cogs turning in your head.
"Hyunjin, why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Pretending to be my boyfriend." you sit up so he follows.
"Because you asked me to? I wanted to help you." Hyunjin lies through his teeth and you can read it now. It's like everything became clear to you.
"Would you really be happy if I got together with Minho?"
Hyunjin's stomach churns and anything good he felt just moments ago when he was kissing you disappears and is replaced by a feeling of nausea.
He averts his eyes from you, nervously biting on his lip.
"Hyunjin?"
"No. No, I wouldn't be happy." he admits quietly, his eyes trained on his lap, unable to look at you.
"Why?" you ask.
"Why? Why? Is it not obvious, y/n?" he says and your eyes meet.
"I love you, that's why." Hyunjin feels the weight of his hidden feelings finally lifting from his heart.
Your lips tremble as you stare at him in shock.
"Since when?"
"Since forever."
You suddenly get up, the reality of the situation dawning on you.
"You've loved me this whole time? And I never realized? And I asked you to fake date me to make another guy jealous and you- you went with it." your eyes well up with tears. "Oh my god, I am so stupid and insensitive!"
Hyunjin gets up too, quickly wanting to comfort you.
"No, y/n it's okay, I wanted to help you! I mean, if you're happy, I'm happy too even if it's not with me." you can hear the pain in his voice when he says that and your chest hurts.
"I... I don't know what to say."
"It's okay if you don't love me like I love you, I can't force you to feel the same." Hyunjin shakes his head.
"It's not like that... It's just; I need to process all of this." you back away from him as he looks at you, sadness in his eyes.
You can't look at him in that moment.
"Do you want me to leave?" his voice is quiet and small when he asks that.
"Yeah, I need to be alone."
Hyunjin doesn't say anything at first, only grabs his things as you stare at the wall, your brain on overdrive.
"Call me when you're ready to talk." he says and you nod, watching his back as he leaves your room.
As soon as you hear the apartment door close, you break into tears.
How could you've been so blind? Hyunjin was always right next to you, he was your person, your comfort, your best friend.
He did everything to make you happy, even indulging you in dumb requests like this one and now that he told you how he feels, everything started flooding in.
The way he'd hold you, the way he looked at you, the way he blushed when you touched his hand, how he seemed annoyed when you told him about Minho.
You were beating yourself up for being so stupid and hurting him when deep inside you always knew you loved him too.
But now, you were afraid that you'd also hurt Minho if he liked you.
So you decided to test that.
-
The next morning, Hyunjin was already awake when his alarm rang, a sleepless night behind him filled with tears and scenarios of you not being a part of his life anymore.
He screwed up, confessing like that, in the heat of the moment.
He can't forget your face, how shocked and sad you looked and how you didn't even wanna look at his face.
Hyunjin still waits for you at your meeting spot, hoping you'll arrive with a smile and a cup of coffee like you always do.
But as minutes pass, with a heavy heart, Hyunjin realizes you're not coming so he reluctantly makes his way to class alone.
His heart freezes when he walks into the building and sees you talking to Minho.
Unable to look at that, he quickly walks into class, sitting at his usual spot.
This is a disaster, he thinks.
If he just kept his mouth shut, you'd be here sitting next to him now, joking around and laughing like you always do.
If he'd kept it all in, maybe he'd have just a glimpse of how it would feel to be yours.
Maybe you'd have that sleepover you always do, when you fall asleep in his arms and Hyunjin can pretend you're his.
But you never come into class, even after Minho did, sitting up front at his usual spot, smiling at the boy next to him.
Hyunjin frowns and stands up, quickly making his way out before the class started as he searches for you.
He finds you sitting on one of the benches outside, looking exhausted and sad.
He wants to run to you but instead he decides to approach you slowly.
"Y/n?" he leans down to look at you and you scoff.
"Minho has a boyfriend."
"What?" Hyunjin asks.
"Minho. He's gay. Or whatever. He's dating Jisung. And I'm just so stupid." you frown as Hyunjin takes in the information.
You can hear the laughter bubbling up inside him.
"Go ahead, laugh at my embarrassment, I know you want to." you look at him and he does just that.
Hyunjin starts laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation and as you see his cute face becoming red from the laughter, you can't stay serious.
Breaking into giggles yourself, the two of you probably end up looking like a pair of maniacs as you keep laughing.
"You were really barking up the wrong tree." he sits next to you and you smack his arm, making him whine.
"Stop it, at least let some time pass before you start making jokes about this." you pout and he chuckles at you, finding you so endearing at that moment.
Without thinking, Hyunjin tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear and you feel your face warm up.
"I'm sorry for dumping all my feelings on you. I didn't wanna make anything awkward and that is not the way I wanted to confess. Actually... I wanted to confess to you that day when you told me about Minho." Hyunjin says.
"Oh my god! When you asked me to meet up? I am double stupid." you groan, smacking your forehead with your palm.
"It's fine. We can be friends, I'll just try to-"
"Hyunjin." you stop him.
"Hm?"
"I love you too. And I'm sorry for not realizing that before and hurting you."
"Oh. Oh!" Hyunjin's eyes are wide. "You feel the same?"
You chuckle at his surprised expression, needing him close so you wrap your arms around his waist, scooting closer to him, your face buried in his chest.
Hyunjin feels relief wash over him as he wraps his arms around you, his hand caressing your head.
"Does this mean you want to be mine?" he asks breathlessly.
"Oh, I always was." you look up at him with a smile and he giggles, his heart beating fast.
"I'm gonna kiss you now." he leans in.
"Please do." you chuckle and he cradles your head in his hand as his lips press gently into yours.
This kiss feels even more special, the confession between you melting through your lips as you taste each other.
"Wanna ditch classes and get some coffee?" you ask when you part.
"With you, always."
taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny @porangporangmeong @jeonginslefthand @laughatdanger @sapphirewaves @simpforleeknaur @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun
#stray kids x reader#stray kids#skz x reader#stray kids fluff#skz fluff#hyunjin x reader#hyunjin stray kids#hyunjin fluff#hwang hyunjin fluff#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x y/n#hyunjin x you#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin scenarios#hyunjin imagines#hyunjin smut#stray kids smut#skz smut#hyunjin soft thoughts#hyunjin soft hours#skz angst#hwang hyunjin angst#hyunjin angst
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secret - Chris Sturniolo
summary: chris wants to keep your relationship a secret from the fans, which means he is never around as much as he should be. this sparks an argument, where chris suggests that you 'should just leave.'
contains: angst, cocky!chris, crying, fluff, yelling, comforting.
----------------------≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫----------------———
i lay in chris and i's bed, wrapped up comfortably in the thick sheets.
my head snaps up to look at chris as he swings open the door, he walks inside the room wearing a white tanktop and some black sweatpants.
"just gonna go film." he says vaguely before walking out of the room,
"chris- can i come!?" i call out,
"y/n, no. we talked about this" chris sighs, i get up out of bed and walk towards him,
"please- i don't have to be in it, i just haven't seen you for like a week." i say softly, chris shakes his head, practically discarding me.
"i see you every week, ill be gone for about two hours okay?" chris says blankly,
i feel my face grow hot with embarrassment, i feel like im practically begging for chris to want me, even though im his girlfriend. anger courses through my body, pushing me to my breaking point.
"why- why do you not care about me- or anything i have to say!" i raise my voice, pointing my fingers at chris's chest as i glare my eyes.
"you don't scare me y/n." chris chuckles, bringing my finger down from his chest.
"proves my fucking point! right there--!" i yell, chris just stares at me with a smug smile on his face.
"we agreed to keep us a secret-" chris starts, but i cut him off
"we both agreed to keep us a secret from your fans, not everyone else you've ever known! yes- i get it your fans will be mad but you're- your'e-" my voice breaks as i turn away from him
"don't be acting all pissy because i have a job and you don't." he raises his voice at me,
"excuse you?" i almost laugh,
"yeah, get a grip y/n, honestly." chris sighs, grabbing his phone and going to walk out.
"don't fucking leave-" i shout, "you're a horrible person chris-" i say, holding back floods of tears.
"maybe you're just being a sensitive little bitch?" chris says, the regret is prominent on his face as soon as those words leave his mouth.
"you're being- so mean-" my voice breaks, tears rolling down my flushed face.
"then leave- i'm actually done with you're bullshit, please leave." chris raises his voice.
i look up at him, "actually-?" i say through loud sobs,
he hesitates for a second before speaking, "i- i dont know- if you can handle me being popular then leave-"
"your ego is incredible you asshole-" i squeeze out, walking past him.
he grabs my chin and stops me in my tracks, his large hand clasped tight around my small chin. "excuse me?" he looks down at me,
"i'm going to find nick." i sigh loudly,
"no you're not." chris states,
"i thought we were done?" i say with a loud cry, i wipe my tears away quickly.
suddenly matt peeks his head through the door, "everything okay in here?" matt asks with concern clear on his face
“fuck off matt, genuinely.” chris raises his voice,
“dude, you’re making her cry-“ matt points out, his eyes locking with mine.
“and it’s none of your business, fuck off!” chris yells shakily at matt,
matt walks into the room angrily, pushing chris’s shoulder. chris let’s go of my chin, discarding me.
“you want my girl now?” chris almost laughs as he approaches matt,
“she’s literally like my little sister and i’ve known her my whole life- so god forbid i ask if she’s okay after i hear you scream at her through the walls!” matt grows angry,
“y/n can’t understand that the fans can’t know about me and her, that’s literally it- she’s just being ignorant, like always.” chris speaks as though i’m not here,
“sort your shit out chris.” matt mutters, pushing chris backwards before walking out of the room.
“i- i think i’m gonna go to matt’s room.” i whisper, barely audible.
“yeah- go fuck him while you’re at it.” chris says with a petty tone,
i let out a frustrated sigh before pushing his shoulder back with an angry sob.
“pathetic.” chris scoffs, “do it harder-“ he taunts,
i storm out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me with a loud bang.
i swing open the door to matt’s room, he’s sat at the edge of his bed on his phone.
“matt-“ i sniffle, matt looks up at me before standing up,
“hey- hey you okay?” matt asks frantically, his voice soft.
“i think chris just broke up with me-“ my voice breaks, matt wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.
“i’m sure he didn’t, he’s just upset right now, you think?” matt whispers into my hair,
i nod, “you can stay in my room tonight, i’ll get the spare mattress.” he suggests, i nod as tears continue to pour down my face.
“i hate him- ihatehimihatehimihatehim.” i sob, matt rubs my back,
“no you don’t, arguments are normal, it happens.” matt sighs.
“i do- hes so mean to me!” i bury my face into my hands.
“shh- sh it’s okay.” matt says, “are you in your pyjamas?” matt asks,
i nod, “okay- then let’s get out the mattress and you can get to sleep.” matt states.
he lets me go before tugging out the matress from under his bed, he throws a couple of blankets and pillows on it before handing me his pug stuffed animal,
“you want this for tonight?” matt asks with a small laugh, i grab the small pug stuffed animal before flopping down on the mattress on the floor.
matt’s always been like a big brother for me, he’s always cared about me so much.
matt bends down and covers me in the blankets, tucking me in. “try have a good sleep okay?” matt whispers, i nod with a small ‘thank you’.
————-
4:23am
i stir awake slowly, i sit up off the matress and look over at matt who’s fast asleep on the bed beside me.
i stand up before stumbling over to the door swiftly, the need to go to the bathroom is overwhelming.
i slowly creak open matt’s door and step out into the corridor.
my footsteps slap against the cold wood as i yawn loudly
i swing open the door to the bathroom, and i’m met with him.
chris.
he’s sitting on the edge of the bathtub, scrolling on his phone. i turn on the warm light which illuminates the small bathroom.
“oh-“ i whisper, spinning back around and reaching for the door handle.
“no- no please come back-“ chris’s voice wobbles.
he’s wearing spider-man pyjama shorts, the same ones that i teased him for a couple weeks ago.
he’s got a thin white shirt on and his brunette hair is messed up completely, his eyes are bloodshot and swollen along with his puffy lips and pink cheeks.
he stands up, looking down at me. i can see the gears in his brain physically spinning as he tries to think of what to say.
“i-i’m sorry i’m still here- i was gonna pack up in the morning.” i break the silence with a couple deep breaths.
chris’s face drops, he buries his face into his hands with a shake of his head.
“i- i didn’t mean that- i was just so caught up in the heat of the moment and i really- really- don’t want to loose you.” chris starts, his eyes watering
“and i’m so sorry for taking you for granted. i love you more than anything, i love you more than anything ever.” chris’s voice breaks loudly, he goes silent as his body jolts up and down.
“are you crying?” i ask softly, he nods.
i don’t say anything, just wrapping my arms around him, he hugs me back weakly.
he buries his head into my shoulder, his soft hair covers half my face.
“and- i’m sorry for crying i just- don’t want you to think i’m only crying for sympathy i just feel really upset.” chris clarifies, i laugh softly,
“i know sweetheart,” i sigh,
“and— and- you don’t have to forgive me- ever— i said proper mean stuff to you.” chris’s voice trembles,
“i forgive you, i just want my old chris back, yeah?” i rub his back,
“you will get that- forever-“ chris sniffs.
we stand in the cold of the bathroom, his arms holding me tightly now, as though he’s afraid to let me go.
i stroke his hair lightly with my manicured nails,
“chris- i don’t mean to ruin this moment but i really really need to pee- that’s why i came in here—“
-
@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos
@sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72 @sturnsjtop @mattsplaytoy @colorthecosmos444 @idkmanshrugg
#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#christopher sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#sturniolo triplets x reader#matt sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo angst
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Hai can you make one where she’s clingy? She’s her same usual self except she’s really clingy. Like she’s clingy in a way but she’s still hot or “nonchalant” about it. Oh and the setting of this story is after the big whole fight scene where she got her ahh killed. Except she doesn’t die this time and wasn’t fighting with nam-gyu in the first place. She was hiding with Gi-huns group. Go hard on the fluff I’m begging.
✧₊⁺ you belong with me!
✦ synopsis: your best friend is so clingy, she might wanna ruin the friendship! content: pure fluff, being best friends although you both want something more, shes clingy (if she doesn't have you besides her she might die) authors note: hiii sorry for taking so long! its so short but i hope u like it💓
⠄⠂☆ she has always been super clingy to you, even though you've been best friends for a while (because you were both cowards who couldn't talk about feelings)
⠄⠂☆ she told you she wanted to get into the game and if that meant you could both win and help her pay her debts, you're on
⠄⠂☆ because you'd do anything to help the person you love. your... best friend.
⠄⠂☆ but she's SOOO into you, she wants to protect you all the time and that means she constantly needs to be by your side
⠄⠂☆ like literally. don't even get me started when the game begins. like middle of the night, you're almost peeing yourself so you wake up to run quickly to the bathroom as you see her sitting up, rubbing her eyes so sleepy as she stares at you confused.
"where are we going?" she asks, her voice still soggy from a deep sleep.
"bathroom, but stay here and sleep-"
yeah no. she's already up by your side, dragging her feet.
⠄⠂☆ so with every game she becomes more and more protective and clingy, she's so afraid that something might happen to you. she can't leave you alone!
⠄⠂☆ this is only a side for you to see tho. ask anyone else, they'd be amazed to know the girl that looks like they could kill them is so soft for her girl (not really her girl but you get it) (she says you are)
⠄⠂☆ "oh please. you're judging him? you get the same nerves, except you shut them out with one of your pills" she says to nam-gyu.
you're getting closer because you just KNOW this will end up bad and when he notices you, he mumbles something to her.
not even two minutes after, he's on the floor with a bloody nose and a purple eye.
deserved.
⠄⠂☆ "what did he said?" you say, washing her knuckles as she hissed. her right hand letting the water run to wash the blood while her left arm was wrapped around your waist.
"something fucking dumb"
"what does that mean? oh wait did he said something about my body or-"
she snorted, rolling her eyes while mumbling.
"he said that if i keep bothering him, he'll 'steal my little girlfriend' and that it wouldn't bother him seeing you underneath him"
and you're frozen, staring at her wide eyed as you make a grossed out expression.
"ew, oh my god"
she nods.
"did you get mad that you got the mental image of me undrrneath him or mad he was about to steal your little girlflriend?" i teased her, softly chuckling
"maybe both" she mumbled, looking away.
wait what?
⠄⠂☆ it doesn't take you both more than two minutes until you're locked in the bathroom stall making out.
"fuck, i can't believe i've missed this the last 6 years of my life" she says in between kisses.
biting her lips, i nod excited.
"well, then it's time to get moving" i said, lifting and removing my shirt as she stares.
⠄⠂☆ yeah. she's down bad for her girl. completely.
⠄⠂☆ after that, you're both on the common room again, faces flushed but she's hugging you from behind. now she can finally say you're hers and she's so happy she might cry.
⠄⠂☆ and when it's time for 'lights out'?
you're both underneath a bed with jun-hee and her ex.
⠄⠂☆ from the corner of your eye, you noticed nam gyu trying to get close, looking for someone.
"uh, sem? wait here"
"what? no?" she says, grabbing your arm.
"wait here, i'm serious. i'll be fine" i said running from her grip and getting up from underneath.
he spots you as he walks towards you. he's filled with blood.
"what the fuck do you want?" you ask him as he stares at you, thirsty for a new fight.
"hi doll, where's that little girlfriend of yours?"
"why do you wanna know?" you reply as he rolls his eyes and gets closer to you.
"why don't you just tell me hm? i'd like to keep that pretty face with no cuts"
you kick him in the balls as he winces in pain and tries to stab you with the shard of glass, but only manages to do a deep scratch on your ribs.
as he stands up, leaving aside the pain to throw himself at you, someone grabs him from the neck and chokes him, only to twist his head. his body falls to the ground as you stare at in-ho with your mouth open in surprise.
you quickly run to hug him as he stays there, frozen in place. he haven't felt a hug in so long, he honestly forgot how that felt.
"thank you so much" you said as he pats your back with a small smile.
"we can't lose one of us"
⠄⠂☆ when you're back, your girlfriend looks like she's about to have a panic attack as you see her checking every corner.
once she sees you, she lets out a breathing she didn't even know she was holding as she run towards you.
"what the fuck? where were you?" she grabs your face and places a peck on your lips. "you can't do that to me because what if i lost you or-"
"se-mi, i love you so much" you kiss her as she holds you, quickly replying to your kiss.
as the lights turn on, you two get back to the group to stay safe.
⠄⠂☆ and so it goes, another day more in this fucked up place, but while she's here, you can survive anywhere.
#se mi x reader#player 380 x reader#se-mi x reader#player 380#se-mi#se mi#squid game#lesbian#squid game 2#se mi squid game#wlw
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Cherry on Top
Gavi X Physiotherapist! reader (birthday special!)
Word count: 3.8k
Warnings: suggestive content!
A/N: I am back once again with more self indulgent fics for my baby boo thang's birthday !!!
~~~
"Doctoraaa! When are you coming home? I'm withering away from boredom and loneliness."
You could practically hear his pout through the phone, imagining him sprawled out on the couch with his feet in the air.
"Gaviraaa I am studying so that I can graduate on time! Or do you want me to keep making a student salary forever?" You held the phone between your ear and your shoulder, still furiously typing away at your sample notes for your advisor.
"What are you even studying? You basically run our whole club's rehab program by yourself. What else do they need to test you on?"
That was actually an excellent question. It was coming up on the two year anniversary since you had become a Barca employee, and you had almost fully taken the reigns. Dr. Gonzalez had checked out, waiting for you to get your degree so that he could finally retire. Nicolas was a good assistant, but was still heavily lacking in his ability to make quick decisions, so he was stuck doing basic PT most of the time. The show was essentially yours to run.
"This last year is testing my leadership ability and teaching skills. When I graduate, I will start running the intern program at the club, and so they have to make sure I can correct staff mistakes."
Your typing was getting progressively louder as you continued angrily editing the note in front of you.
"Take this idiot Aaron. He has not written a single coherent note since he got assigned as my mentoring project. If he were an employee he would have been fired weeks ago. But since this is a "training and learning" opportunity or whatever, I have to fix all his notes and send him the edits so he can learn."
You heard shifting on the other end of the line, and then a soft thud followed by some whispered profanity.
"Pablo please don't injure yourself."
"Maybe it will bring you home faster. Oh no my other ACL!"
Despite his giggle, you went quite on the other side of the line. The day of Pablo's injury had been one of the worst of your life. He had been playing for the national team, so you had no choice but to stare at your TV through glassy eyes, utterly and completely helpless. One of your friends literally had to prevent you from collapsing (though to this day you maintain that it was dehydration, not hysteria). He had called you from the sideline, and the pain in his voice just made you break further.
"I need you."
You had been waiting at the airport to receive him, official team gear on in an attempt to distract fans from the fact that you were fully embracing him and crying into his shoulder. You had almost gone insane in the lead up to his surgery, triple checking the credentials of everyone involved. You stayed by his bed for his entire stay, spending most days and night making sure he wore his brace and didn't make any stupid decisions. It was on one of these nights, when you were once again complaining about not having your favorite undereye cream at his house, that he once again asked you his favorite question.
"Why don't you just move in?"
As usual, you brushed the comment off. Gavi had been asking you to move in weekly for over a year now, always unfortunately dead serious. There was an innocence and simplicity in the way Pablo say the world that you wished you could emulate. He liked you, he was comfortable around you, and he wanted you to live with him. Simple, right?
But it terrified you. You loved Gavi, probably more than anything else in your life. But long withstanding trauma lives up to its name of being long withstanding. That feeling that the expiration date of your perfect relationship was approaching? That never went away. It was like the more time you spent with Gavi, the more you were terrified that he was going to figure out what was wrong with you, why no one could love you until this point in time, and run for the hills. Your apartment was the one space you still had to be irate and disgusting and genuinely yourself without being afraid of scaring him. And it would make it much easier when he eventually broke up with you to date a pop star or a model or Pedri.
"I'm being serious, princesa. You're here every night. You spend more time here than at your own place. You barely sleep in your own bed because you're just obsessed with me and want to take care of me all the time."
"Pablo, we've talked about this..."
"Yes," he said, sitting up and opening his arms in a gesture for you to come cuddle with him. "We have. Back when we had only been together for only three months and we didn't know if you would be able to put up with me."
"Hey!"
"Let me finish." He hugged you closer to his chest, resting his chin on your head and rubbing slow circles into your skin. It was hard to maintain your composure when you were like this, feeling the warmth radiating off his skin and the pressure of his lips kissing your crown every so often.
"We've been together for a year and a half now. I've seen you in bad moods, heard your yelling, plucked your chin hairs-"
He restrained you from getting up, giggling at your embarrassment. He really was the most adorable little thing on the planet.
"I've seen you at your lowest points. Which, admittedly mi amor, were not that low. I saw a tiktok of this guy who had to pull out his girlfriend's tampon. This could be much worse. Hey, look at me."
You turned over, your chest pressed to Pablo's as he brought his hands up to cup your cheeks. You had learned how to do this in the last year, how to steel yourself under his intense gaze. Pablo Gavi looked at you like he was in the presence of a divine being, eyes big and soft and filled to the brim with adoration. He looked at you like just your image was all he needed to keep breathing.
"I love you. So much that sometimes I don't know what to do with it. I want you to move in so I can take care of you, and so that it's easier to let you take care of me. I want to annoy you with my morning training alarm and make you coffee and maybe mess up your laundry when I try to do the washing."
"This is not a convincing argument so far, baby."
"I just want to live with you. And be around you. And hold you like a weighted teddy bear while I sleep."
"What if you get tired of me being around all the time?" You asked between smooshed cheeks, finally losing your ability to maintain his stare.
Gavi refused to even dignify the question with a verbal response, instead letting go of your face to lift the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over your head. Your cheek was practically burning up pressed against his abs, still defined and solid despite days of immobility.
"Doctora, this is how close I want you to be. At all times. I am about to sew you to my torso. So will you please move in?"
And it was then that you agreed to it. Now the house was littered with so much merch on the walls and shelves it looked like a sports store, but it was yours. A home. You spent months taking care of Gavi, from driving him to appointments to at-home physiotherapy sessions. You took every opportunity to place a gentle kiss on the scar on his knee (ya know, when you were down there ;) ) and avoided all clips that showed him in pain.
"Come on, Doctora. I'm okay."
"I know, I know... it's just not a memory I can bring myself to joke about. Not while you're still in recovery."
"I'm sorry, amor. Can you come home and scold me about it?"
You groaned again, resisting the urge to slam your head into your keyboard. The progress notes were really terrible.
"And besides, you need to finish packing."
This was true. In about 6 hours, you and Gavi would be on a plane for his birthday trip to Ibiza. He had been buzzing with excitement about his birthday trip for months now, eager to take you someplace where there would be nothing to distract the two of you. Just perfect sand and perfect sea for a perfect weekend. He had talked about going farther than Spain this year, maybe Italy or at least Portugal, but injuries have a great way of canceling travel plans.
You reluctantly agreed, telling Pablo you would be home in about 30 minutes, before you began to tidy your workspace. You sent a polite yet pointed email to Aaron (with the head of department CC'ed) explaining that the work was too terrible to be corrected, and he should clear up some time in September to train with you before the season began in earnest and you would be too busy to teach him how to spell "bradycardia".
It was always a humbling experience to pull into the driveway and park your beat up little car next to Gavi's team-sponsored beauty. You were dreading the day he upgraded to something nicer - the neighbors would start thinking that someone was there to rob him. He was already standing at the door smiling wide when you pulled in. He walked up to your door, grabbing all your bags and ushering you inside away from the heat. This had become a regular for Gavi - tracking your location to greet you the second you arrived - so there was really no need to question it anymore. You leaned over and kissed his cheek, eternally grateful for the gentleness he showed you. After a quick yet heated rant about the incompetence of some of the students in your program, you headed upstairs to continue packing.
"Pablo, you think I need to pack more than two dresses?" You asked, looking over the satins and crocheted pieces that your friend ensured you was "totally in".
"I don't think you need to pack any dresses. Or even clothes for that matter."
You raised an eyebrow at your boyfriend, who was leaning casually against the doorframe.
"Am I supposed to be naked for the whole trip?"
"Not the whole trip. Just pack some bikinis for during the day and some cute underwear for the night. The outfit you wear to the airport should be more than enough incase we ever need to leave." He walked over to where you stood in contemplation, arms wrapping tightly around your waist, and his head resting on your shoulder in the perfect position to kiss your neck.
"Be serious, Pablo. What if we want to go for a nice dinner for your birthday? I can't go in a thong or in my plane sweats."
He didn't stop his attack on your neck for an instant, addicted to the warmth and taste of your skin on his tongue.
"Mi amor, mi sol, mi vida - at the risk of being vulgar, I have to say that you will be the nice dinner on my birthday."
Your eyes went wide at this statement, and suddenly you were glad for his arms there to keep you upright.
"I don't even think I have more than one bikini that still fits."
At this, Gavi released you, running to the closet with your yells to slow down behind him (if you had a euro for every time you told him not to run in socks, you could pay off the club's debt). He came shuffling back out with a large black bag, which he promptly dumped out onto the comforter. There were at least ten swimwear sets in various colors and prints, ranging from polka dots to stripes to... was that cheetah print?
"I picked these out the other day. Well, actually, that's a lie. I sent your size to Aurora, and she placed the order online and I just picked up the bag at the store. Can you imagine what Instagram would do with pictures of me buying lingerie?"
"But there's no lingerie here?"
"Fuck." He scampered off once again, returning with another bag to repeat his previous actions. This time the contents were much more sultry, with dark silks and satins staring back up at you. Mainly reds and blacks littered the pale covers.
"Pablo, you shouldn't have. This is too sweet! But we are only going for three days. There's like a month worth of stuff here."
"Are you planning on never going out again after this trip? Just pick your favorites for this weekend. The rest will be waiting for you when you get back, just in case we ever go to the pool or you want to surprise your football star boyfriend by wearing these to work."
You couldn't even be mad at his words when your heart was so full from his gesture. Pablo was always buying you things - that was nothing new. But you had been worrying for days about not looking good on this trip, not having anything new to wear, and he took that burden off your shoulders.
"So I can pick any of these? They look expensive."
"Ay Doctora, don't upset me. Nothing is worth more than your happiness. I do have one request though."
"Yes, mi amor?"
"You have to wear this one on my birthday," he said while reaching past you to pick up a white bikini with red cherries printed all over.
"Why is that?"
"Because you're like the cherry on top of my birthday cake. You always look good, but I want you to look irresistible."
"Okay, let's relax that's a lot of talk for a- oh my God." Your eyes widened, and you grabbed Pablo's face with a dropped jaw.
"Are you okay?"
"Oh my God."
"You said that already."
"Pablo!"
"Yes, princesa?"
"An adult. You're going to be an adult tomorrow. As in not a teenager."
"We arrive at like 11pm so it's more like I won't be a teenager anymore tonig- are you crying?"
"I'm not going to have a teenage boyfriend anymore!" You threw your arms around him, hugging him so tightly there was a fear of his ribs cracking.
"I feel like I should be offended by this statement."
~
"3...2...1... Happy 20th birthday Pablito!" You said softly, a single cupcake with a lit candle on the top held before the birthday boy. It was the same as the previous year (iykyk), but this time with a red and yellow swirl to match the Spanish national team.
"Thank you, mi vida." He closed his eyes, deep in thought regarding his wish, and blew out the candle. He scooped up a dollop of frosting, placing it on your lips before kissing it gently away.
"I can't believe I get to spend another birthday with you," he whispered out, scared that anything louder would destroy the gentle atmosphere around the two of you.
After sharing more sugary kisses, you fell asleep on Pablo's chest, soothed to sleep by his slow heart beat and rhythmic breathing. You woke before him, placing a kiss on his forehead before getting up to dress, snickering quietly at his snoring. The poor boy was so exhausted. You put on the swimsuit he had picked for you, the material fitting you stunningly. You looked at yourself in the mirror and couldn't help but smile. The white and red complemented your skin, your hair framing your face still bare and slightly puffed with the remnants of sleep. Gavi's necklace dangled between your collar bones, the metal cool on your skin. Everything on your body was an expression of love.
Stepping out of the bathroom in your bikini and wrap around skirt, you found the bed suspiciously empty. There was a light breeze coming from the terrace, where you found your boyfriend leaning shirtless on the railing. As if sensing your stare, he turned over his shoulder and wave you to join him. The sun was starting to shine in earnest, the smell of the ocean filling your senses. There was no place you would rather be.
"Good morning, beautiful. I know I asked you to wear that, but I almost want you to take it off. You look too good - I'm scared I'll have to beat every other man away with a stick."
He took a seat on one of the deck chairs, and you took your rightful place on his lap, arms around his neck.
"Good thing this strip of beach is private then."
Your lips found his in a deep kiss, fingers traveling to play with the short strands at the nape of his neck. It was an intoxicating thing to kiss Pablo Gavi. His plush lips molded perfectly to yours, bringing you in impossibly closer. He was always so eager, gently nibbling on your bottom lip whenever he could catch it, soft breaths and little whines spurring you on. Neither of you could bring yourselves to stop, tongues tangled like high schoolers as you made out in the early August sun. His hands were firm on your hips, more for his benefit than yours. He was eager to drag you to the sand, but knew neither of you would leave the room if he allowed your hips to act on their own accord. He relaxed back, allowing you to take the lead, and whimpered a little louder when you bit his lip. It was your giggling that broke the kiss, and you rested your forehead against his, breathless and chest heaving.
"Big Bad Gavi likes having his lip bit. Who would've thought?"
He whined again, finding the column of your neck and to town, nipping and sucking, unwilling to not have his lips and tongue occupied by you just yet. When you started digging into his biceps, he released you, admiring his handy work.
"Pablo people are going to see." You said, pout on your lips and big eyes trained on your boyfriend. He kissed your jutting bottom lip and lifted you off him.
"Like you said - good thing this beach is private."
~
Pablo had so many moments with you where he thought "she could never be more beautiful than this". The first was the first night you fell asleep on his couch, face peaceful with sleep. The next was under the stadium lights, as he thrust a trophy in your hands and lifted you above his shoulders. Then it was in some French hallway, in a ballgown with no heels as he kissed you senseless, finally brave enough to take what he wanted. In coffee shops and grocery store aisles and on his mattress, he always thought there was no possibility for you to be more stunning. But as you lay stretched out on the sand, eyes closed and muscles relaxed, he had the thought again. The sun tinted your skin slightly, making you gleam like a goddess that had just emerged from the sea. The bright white against your skin had Gavi tingling, wanting to remove the pure material and access what it was protecting.
Your hair was soaked, and you laid on your stomach in the sand to gain some color and dry off after the exertion of swimming with Gavi. The sun was phenomenal on your damp skin, and you had never been more at piece. You felt a hand creep up your back, and suddenly your chest wasn't as supported as it should have been.
"Pablo! Did you just undo my top?"
"I'm just unwrapping my present."
He brought you to sit on his lap once again, your loose top fighting to remain around your neck.
"How private is this beach?"
"You think I would let you go topless if there was a chance another soul would see?"
You felt like a teenager again, embarrassed and looking around frantically for someone who would catch you in such an act with your boyfriend.
"I heard beach sex sucks and I'm not eager to get sand in my vagina."
"We're not going to have sex on the beach. I may be more grown up, but I still like seeing boobs every once in a while."
"So you just want to look at them?"
"Among other things. You want to see my checklist?"
You wrapped your arms around his neck once again, kissing him deeply as he fully removed the fabric from your chest. He brought a hand to your back, pressing you against him, your breasts flush against his chest. It was a thrilling sensation, being topless and against your boyfriend with the sun beating down against you both.
Gavi laid back on the sound with you atop him, unclipping you hair to allow it to fall down your back. In your current situation, you were still covered enough to not face public indecency charges. He played with the strands of hair, weaving his fingers into the locks as his teeth caught your bottom lip and sucked on it like his favorite hard candy.
"I'm going to have sand in my hair."
"Guess we'll just have to take a bath together so I can wash it for you."
You kissed him again, his fingers trailing up your torso and brushing the sides of your boobs, sparking electricity in their path. It was so high school: topless on a beach, making out with your boyfriend. But made you stir low in your stomach, a mix of desire and the deepest form of love. You loved Pablo Gavi. You loved his little antics, you loved the pleasure he brought to every aspect of your life.
"Enjoying your birthday so far?" You asked, reluctantly pulling away from his lips, chest heaving against his. Gavi took the opportunity to grab your breasts and squeeze lightly, playing with them like it was his favorite activity in the world.
"More than I can even express."
He brought you against him, arms around you and bodied pressed together, and laid back down.
"So you just wanted to feel me up while we make out?"
"I want to feel you against me, mi amor. I want you to feel how hard my heart beats when I'm around you. I want to do everything that comes to my mind with you. Being topless on the beach. Ordering everything on the hotel menu. Skinny dipping at midnight. Every experience in my life is better when you're in it. I want to make every memory with you, so that when we're old and hold hands in our matching wheelchairs, I can say "Hey remember when we were hot and young and topless making out in Ibiza?" I want to do everything in the world with you."
You pressed your lips to his again, a deep kiss that winded the both of you.
"I love you, Pablo. Happy birthday."
"I love you more, Doctora."
~~~
Okay here it is!! Happy birthday to the love of my life, the light of my soul, Pablo Gavi. I love this boy more than I can express, and he represents so much good in my life. I hope his 20th year is filled with every happiness in the world.
As usual, please like, comment, reblog - all the good stuff. If you like this dynamic, I have a full 10 part series of these two idiots in my masterlist. I also have an ongoing Pedri series! Check that out if it's more your speed.
Please also take a moment to check out the links on my pinned post to help families in Palestine. If you don't have the money to donate but still want to help, every comment with a watermelon emoji under my pedri posts = $1 I donate on your behalf. I think that's all I have to say. Love y'all <3
xoxo, GUB
#pablo gavi x reader#gavi#pablo gavi imagine#gavi x reader#pablo gavi#pablo gavi x y/n#gavisuntiedboot#gavi imagine#pablo gavi fluff#gavi fic#pablo gavi fanfiction#gavi x you#fc barca#gavi fluff#gavi fanfic#pablo gavi slow burn#pablo gavi x reader fluff#fc barcelona#pablo gavi angst#gavi angst#gub just pretend#gavi smut#pablo gavi smut#pablo gavi x reader smut#gavi x reader smut
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absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!
so.
are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)
reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!
so.
after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.
then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!
I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.
then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.
that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!
and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.
they love each other so much!!
this is Nagi.
he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).
he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.
because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.
he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.
Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.
he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.
(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)
this is Reo!
he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".
he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?
who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?
it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.
something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.
the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.
Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.
for that, he has to work.
so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.
(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)
at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.
He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.
it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.
2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!
so they split up.
Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.
Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.
while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.
he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.
(metaphor isn't metaphoring)
Reo doesn't know that.
he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.
Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.
Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.
He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.
Neither of them forgets the other.
Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.
the only difference?
Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.
so Nagi changes.
he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.
different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?
he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.
because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.
Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.
"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"
he changes.
Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.
and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?
(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)
what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?
he needs to change too.
3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)
Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.
Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?
he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself
he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.
He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.
"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"
he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.
instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.
he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.
(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.
Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)
now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.
this is how Reo changes.
4. miscommunication is a beast
As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.
he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.
he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.
"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.
and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.
when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.
and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.
he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.
+) 5. being relatable as fuck
(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")
Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?
he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.
he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?
he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.
so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.
isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.
and now.
in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?
I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.
they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.
don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)
#don't take this too seriously but do at the same time#they're so fun and they make me want to rip my hair out#blue lock#bllk#reo mikage#mikage reo#nagi seishiro#seishiro nagi#isagi yoichi#reonagi#nagireo#they so silly im crying#i have so many screenshots#anxiously posting this#reo is me i am reo#pulling meta out of my ass#blue lock nagi#is this me seeing too much into things?? i honestly don't care#you'll never guess how much it took me to post this!!!
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I'm having a shit day, I need Quinn to fix it
Please and thanks
cw: injury description
Rain, rain, go away, come again...when you didn't have a hundred errands to run and were short on time to do them. Naturally, it would pour the entire time you were out and about, and your umbrella had decided to break the first time you went to use it. It really set the tone for the rest of the day; a terrible foreshadowing you had hoped wouldn't be the case.
The only reason you were out running those errands in the first place was because you had taken the day off to make sure everything was nice for when Quinn got back home. You knew he was going to be exhausted after finishing another six straight games on the road. Plus, you wanted to enjoy the evening with him knowing nothing would be looming in the back of your mind that would take away from your time together. However, since the minute you got up it was like everything was stacked against you. You had slept through your alarm, getting up almost two hours later than you had intended. You thought you had plugged in your phone but hadn't make a proper connection so your battery was at 12% to start the day. And to add insult to injury (literally), you had dropped a glass while in the kitchen and had cut your hand while trying to pick up the pieces.
Today was proving to be one of those days that were best spent at home, but unfortunately, that wouldn't be the case for you. By this point, your phone was now sitting at 6%, because you realized, after you had left the parking garage, that the charger you left in your car was in Quinn's. You just hoped it would hold on long enough to get you home.
You would be stopped at a red light, mid rush hour, when a message would ding in. It was Quinn and the dreaded text you didn't want to come across your phone until you were already back at his apartment.
"Hey baby, we just touched down. I'll see you soon. I love you."
"I might not be there when you get home. Stuck in traffic. </3 I love you, too. <3 <3 Also, phone is about dead. >:("
"Just be careful. I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too."
- - -
Getting everything out of the car had been hard enough, but carrying them with your cut palm was the worst. Being half asleep and dealing with broken glass was not a good combination, something you would note for the future. Sure, you couldn't have texted Quinn to see if he would help you, which you knew he would have, but you were determined to get it done yourself.
When you stepped into the elevator, from the parking garage, all you could think of was "please don't break down. I do not want to walk up the stairs. I do not want to be trapped in an elevator with a dead phone." Thinking it was a bad idea to put such thoughts into the Universe, you'd just count floors instead until you reached Quinn's.
It was a struggle to unlock the door but you had managed though your hand was burning and you were pretty sure you were bleeding again. Just something else that would get tended to later. Once inside, you'd drop everything at the door and Quinn would come from the bedroom to greet you.
"Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you were downstairs? I would have helped you with all of this." He wrapped his arms around you and you melt into his body. "I have missed you so much."
"I'm so glad you're home." All of a sudden and without warning, you begin to cry. Likely a culmination of trash sleep, stress, no food, and pain. Your body and emotions were just fried; not to mention you hated when he was gone for so long.
"What's wrong, baby?" Quinn would say softly, gently tightening his hold on you. "Are you alright?" Anytime you were having a rough day, he was the first person to notice and always did everything he could to make you feel better.
"No," you said, hiding your face in his neck. You weren't ready to have him see how much you were struggling.
"Why don't you go sit, hmm? I'll get this."
"I wanted to have everything done for you but today has been awful."
Quinn pulls away from you just enough to tip your chin up towards his face. You can't escape him now and the look on your face makes his puppy eyes heavy with emotion. "Oh, baby~"
He kisses you several times, each one of them sweeter than the last, yet the tears still continue to fall from your cheeks. "Come on, this stuff can wait."
Taking your non-bandaged hand, he ushers you to the sofa where he insists you sit in his lap so you can be as close to him as possible. You loved moments like these just on better circumstances than today had given you.
"Baby, you're bleeding. What happened?"
You had reached up to brush some hair from your eyes when he caught sight of the bandage now tinged bright red in the center. You dropped your hand to your leg and shook your head. "It's nothing. Just a clumsy accident."
"Let me see."
You refuse, sniffling and trying to hold back the welling tears.
"Please?"
Damn those eyes of his; damn the tone of his voice that just took your breath away. You could never truly tell him no and this was no different. You'd turn your palm upwards when you presented it to him, scared it was worse that you thought it was initially.
"May I look at it?"
You just nod, before laying your head against his shoulder. You didn't want to see it and you knew him pulling back the adhesive of the bandage was going to hurt, even though he had the softest touch.
Quinn was always so careful with you; always asking for permission especially if it would potentially cause you pain. Slowly he'd remove the bandage and you would wince against the discomfort even though he did everything he could to make it easy on you. "How did this happen?"
Quinn's tone conveyed deep worry and hurt and that didn't give you the reassurance you were hoping for.
"This morning. I got up late, and was half asleep taking my vitamins and I guess my hand just stopped working and I dropped it. It shattered everywhere. I didn't realize I had grabbed the raw edge until it was too late and I cut myself."
"Oh sweetheart," Quinn whispered laying his head against yours. "Want me to fix you up?"
"I'll get it."
"Please?"
Twice now, he had used that word with (that) tone, and twice now you would fold without another chance to resist. Again, you would silently nod, letting him slip out from under you while he disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments. You remembered how you had left it and it made you feel worse, but when he returned, the only thing that mattered to him was making sure you were alright.
"You said today was awful, how come?" He talked to you while he worked so to keep you from focusing solely on your hand and the pain. Everything he did was so thoughtful.
"I stayed up too late watching The First 48, then I slept through my alarms this morning, so I was two hours behind. I guess I hadn't clicked my charger into my phone fully so it didn't charge. I dropped the glass. I didn't get the apartment cleaned. I didn't get the laundry put away. I forgot my charger was in your car. My umbrella broke." With each added reason for the bad day it made you more emotional to the point that he had to stop cleaning the cut to lay a hand on your leg and try to calm you.
"Shhh, baby, baby, it's okay. None of that matters now. I didn't expect you to be waiting for me at the door. I'm just glad you're here now, but I'm sorry you had such a hard day. The apartment is fine, please, don't worry about it."
"But...I left the bathroom~"
"I don't care about it. Honest. I want you to feel welcome here; I want it to be your home. Home should feel lived in." Quinn leaned forward to kiss you yet you frown. You still felt so bad for everything not being done like you wanted it to be. "If you're here, that's all I want."
"You're so nice," you squeak out, hiding your face with your free hand. You don't realize you were breaking his heart, feeling so bad about missing your self-imposed marks.
"Sweetheart, will you look at me, please?"
Dropping your hand, you let your eyes be exposed though you keep it pressed to your lips.
"You're the only thing I care about when I'm here. If you're okay, I'm okay."
"But I'm not okay."
"And I'm not either. May I finish this for you?" His smile was so sweet, so heartfelt as he held your injured hand in both of his. When you answered "yes, please" Quinn brought it to his lips before finishing what he had started. With each new step of the process, he'd check in with you before continuing. He didn't feel that you had any glass in the wound or that you needed stitches, but he didn't want you to do too much the next few days.
"Alright, babe, all done."
"Thank you."
"Of course. Anything for you," his smile continues. "How about you go change your clothes, get into something comfortable and we'll have a lazy evening in bed. I'll get the groceries put away and we'll order take out. How's that?"
"Do you want some help?"
"No babe, I can get it. It won't take me that long, but thank you. I'll meet you in there, okay?"
"Okay." You give him a kiss as a thank you, later apologizing for your mild breakdown earlier.
"It's alright. You're only human, sweetheart and you had a bad day. I can't say I'd do much better. I'd never judge you for anything like that," Quinn replies, holding your face for another kiss. "I promise."
#💌Maven's Love Notes#so sorry you're having a bad day - anon#I hope this helps a little#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes one shot#quinn hughes fanfiction#hockey fic#hockey fanfiction#hockey oneshot#hockey imagine#nhl imagine#nhl one shot#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction
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꥟ part of the “dancing with our hands tied” collection, Luke Castellan x Apollo!reader
꥟ IN WHICH… You discover that everyone at camp can tell.
꥟ W.C: 3k
Capture the Flag is a camp staple. It’s practically what makes the camp what it is! The battle strategy, the team work, the training.. it was perfect.
“Explain to your idiot boyfriend that we should get the Aphrodite cabin because he already has the advantage!”
“Just because we have more campers doesn’t mean we have the advantage! How many times do I need to say that?”
Clarisse and Luke have this argument nearly every week. Always fighting about who gets what cabin, which battle strategies were ethical and which weren’t, that whole ordeal.
You just wish they’d stop including you in it. Especially when you’re trying to clean a little boy's scraped knees!
You sigh, shooting the Demeter child a sorry look, but he doesn’t notice. Instead, he’s got a huge smile on his face as he watches Luke and Clarisse bicker like siblings. “They’re silly!” He giggles.
You smile, placing a blue band-aid on his knee and helping him off the bed. “Yep. Sooo silly.”
He doesn’t spare you a second glance as he leaves, and you’re partially grateful and partially offended. You don’t linger on the thought though, instead focusing the rest of your attention on the two fuming teens.
“You already have half the cabins in camp! Just because our cabins bigger doesn’t mean you get to hog everyone!”
“We aren’t hogging everyone-”
You rub the bridge of your nose, annoyance building in your temples. Are they aware that this is still technically your place of work? You don’t hang out in the infirmary on the daily just for fun. As Apollo Head Counselor it was literally your job to be there, and they were just making it harder.
“Okay, guys, calm down-”
They don’t listen, instead just getting louder and louder. Some of the patients are starting to notice, and seeing as majority of them are younger kids, it makes them nervous. And nervous kids in medical settings? Never a good mix.
“Luke, you’re literally so stupid it shocks me that you’re even still alive.”
“Right, because I understand basic math and you don't, I'm the stupid one. Makes complete sense.”
You sigh, glancing at a little girl that has started fighting the medicine your brother was trying to give her. It’s already been a struggle to even get her to lay down, and they had disrupted any progress you guys had made.
“Can you guys stop yelling, please?” You strain, watching as another little boy begins to cry when Clarisse practically screams fuck you! at Luke.
Again, they ignore you, and you’re starting to wonder if they can even hear anything you're saying. You wouldn’t be surprised if not.
“You know what, Castellan? Why don’t you take your math, and shove it right up your-”
“Okay!” You intervene, grabbing them both by their wrists and dragging them out of the building. Honestly, you’re still not sure they’re processing anything you’re saying or doing, because the entire time you lead them outside they glare at each other like two children.
Once you’ve gotten a safe distance from the patients and any prying ears, you smack both of them upside the head. Clarisse yelps while Luke’s hand immediately goes to soothe the spot.
“Are you guys deaf or just plain selfish?” You ask, nostrils practically flaring. “I mean, did you not notice the patients in there or did you just not care? Because to me it seems like you just didn’t care!”
They both have the decency to look at least a little bit ashamed, and for some reason it almost makes you feel bad. You're not sure if it's because of the genuine guilt on both of their faces, or just your constant need to please. You’re betting on the latter.
Luke swallows, sharing a glance with Clarisse before both of their gazes fall to the floor. “We’re sorry.” Clarisse mumbles, rubbing her arm uncomfortably. To most, Clarisse was rude and rarely ever apologized, but that was just to the people she didn’t know.
If you really took the time to know her, you’d discover she was just as lost as the rest of you. And underneath that hard exterior, there was a sweet girl begging to be found. You just had to be willing to look for it.
Luke nods in agreement, “Really, really sorry.”
Your eyes dart between the two of them, arms crossing over your chest. Some part of you wants to continue raging on them, you feel like it’ll be a bit therapeutic. But, the more rational part of you knows how serious they take the game, and sometimes they just get too into it.
“It’s fine,” You mumble, sucking in a breath and dropping your arms to your sides again. “Just, explain to me again whatever it is you guys are mad about.”
They both go to speak at the same time, and you realize you should’ve been more specific with your wording. You put a hand up to stop them, and quickly say, “Without arguing.”
You don’t miss Clarisse’s eye roll, but you choose not to call her out on it. Luke glances at the dark haired girl, and she gestures for him to speak a bit more aggressively than you think was necessary.
He sighs, turning to you with a slight smirk. It was his signature one, the one that practically dropped trouble. “Basically, Clarisse wants the Aphrodite Cabin because they have more campers, but she already has more than half the cabins in camp. So, I think we should be able to keep the Aphrodite cabin.”
You nod, “Which cabins does Clarrise have?”
The Ares child answers, “Demeter, Hephaestus, Dionysus, and Ares- obviously.”
You assumed that meant the other cabins were on Luke’s team, and if that was true, that meant he had the majority of the bigger cabins. Which meant that Clarrise should get Aphrodite.
But, the puppy dog look on Luke’s face makes your heart skip a beat, and you wonder if maybe you could bend your morals for him. Just this once. It was just a game after all, right?
Unfortunately, Clarrise has this knowing look in her eyes, like she knows what you’re thinking. It makes you feel small, so you do your best to seem as nonchalant as possible and say, “Then Clarrise should get it. But, maybe give Luke Dionysus? Since there’s only two of them.”
A huge grin overtakes Clarisse’s face, and she sticks her tongue out at Luke. “Ha!” She shouts, pointing a finger in Luke’s face. “I knew your girlfriend would agree with me.”
Luke rolls his eyes, a slight blush overtaking his cheeks at the word girlfriend. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. We’re still gonna beat you.”
Clarisse just shrugs him off, shooting you a wink as she walks away. Your friendship with Clarisse definitely was unexpected considering your clashing personalities, but you loved the girl like a sister.
Luke sighs dramatically, bottom lip jutting out a bit as he crosses his arms over his chest. “You really couldn’t have just given them to me?” You snort, you know he’s not really angry with you, which is why you roll your eyes with a grin.
“Sadly, no.” You shrug, “Besides, we both know you’ll be able to win without them.” It was true, Luke’s quick thinking and obvious knack for battle strategy set him up for success. But, it was also pretty well known majority of the kids in the Aphrodite Cabin would rather spend their time braiding hair and gazing at themselves in puddles. So, you didn’t think it was that hard of a loss.
Luke chuckles, “Why? Because they’d rather stare at their reflection then actually play the game?”
You pretend to think, scratching your chin and gazing up at the sky. “Um, yeah, exactly my point.”
He snorts in response, allowing you to lead him back into the infirmity silently. You almost find it strange how he doesn’t even question you. Just… follows. “I didn’t think you’d be so stereotypical, Sweetheart.” He jokes.
You shrug, “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”
Luke watches as you push the door open, immediately going to greet a waiting patient. She’s a little bit older, probably around Percy’s age, but you still talk to her gently and kindly. Still treat her like a little kid, but not in a condescending way.
Luke’s not sure how you manage it. It makes his heart flutter in his chest for reasons he can’t explain.
“Yeah.” He sighs, eyes trailing your every move. “You are.”
꥟
You didn’t particularly enjoy being stuck in the medical tent during capture the flag. Not because you wanted to actually play the game, no, but because you were completely alone.
Some of your siblings always offered to stay behind with you, but you never let them. They’d be miserable staying with you, even if they wouldn’t admit it. Thus, here you sat, alone.
It wasn’t all bad. You enjoyed the peace, a rare thing to get at Camp Half-Blood, and most of the campers were too hell-bent on winning to even bother stopping by. Which meant you got to enjoy the unusual serenity all by yourself.
The birds sing hymns that you don’t know the words to, and the leaves dance together like professional ballerinas. It’s all very beautiful, really.
At least it is until Percy Jackson rips through the trees, a wide smile on his face and his chest heaving. His eyes dart around the opening, before they finally land on you.
You're sat outside the tent, jean shorts surely stained an unflattering green color and shins covered in shards of grass.
“Oh! Good, you’re here.” Percy breathes, jogging over to you. You stand, doing your best to discreetly wipe at your butt.
“Yep. I’m..” You let out a sigh, “still here.”
Percy just sniffs, giggling a bit and bouncing on his toes. He looks like a little boy who’d just been told he could get his favorite candy from the store. “He got it.” He says.
You raise an eyebrow, “Who got what?”
“Luke got the flag.” He grins, “I’m supposed to wait here to make sure no Ares campers cross the threshold.”
You nod. The makeshift infirmary was placed directly on the invisible threshold, but you found it a little weird Luke would send Percy to lookout for incoming Ares campers here when majority of them would probably be somewhere deeper in the woods.
You knew that, and surely Luke knew that, which meant..
You give Percy a sympathetic look. It’s not his fault he gets… distracted so easily when playing the game, but you also understood how seriously Luke took this. It just sucked he resorted to lying to the kid instead of coming up with something else for him to do.
“I see,” You mumble, eyeing a small cut on Percy’s knee. “What if I patch that up while you wait?” You ask, gesturing to the cut with your chin.
Percy shakes his head, eyes never leaving the woods. “Can’t. Have to make sure no one crosses.”
You sigh, chewing on your bottom lip. Percy could be so stubborn, that’s probably why he and Annabeth got along so well. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Besides, it’s so quiet you’ll be able to hear them if they do. Just come inside, alright?”
Finally, Percy tears his gaze away from the open area to you, and he’s got that familiar glint in his eye. Percy’s smart, he always had been. And you weren’t the best liar. “What do you know?” He asks suspiciously, pointing an accusing finger at you.
You throw your hands up in surrender, shaking your head. “All I know is that you’re bleeding and it’s my job to take care of that, okay? So let me do my job.”
You can see the inner battle in Percy. He wants to stay out and do what Luke told him, but he also knows the cut on his knee stings like hell. He sighs, lowering his hand and glancing cautiously to the clearing. “Alright… but, promise if we hear anything you’ll let me go back out?”
You smile, “I promise.”
Seemingly satisfied, Percy allows you to lead him inside and begin your work. The floor in the tent was still grass, which meant the chair he was sitting in was quite unstable on the ground.
He rocked on it, eyes going wide when it leaned just a bit too far back. You snort when he does, and he sheepishly rubs his hand on the back of his neck.
You begin your work with no words exchanged between you, instead humming a familiar tune.
“That’s the song you sing at the campfire, right? Here comes the sun?”
You nod, glancing up at him. Percy smirks, hands messing with his helmet. “Luke said that was his favorite song, and I could never really understand why because it’s just… it feels odd to me for someone like him to like that song. But I think I understand why now.”
You’d like to pretend that Percy’s statement doesn’t make you go pink in the face, but it does. Luke said that was his favorite song? Of course, it didn’t automatically mean it was his favorite song because of you, but… it was nice to imagine, right?
“He did?” You ask, clearing your throat and trying to be as causal as possible. “And why do you think you know why? It could just be because it’s a catchy song.”
Percy shakes his head, “Nah. Trust me, it’s definitely not just because it’s catchy. It’s cause-”
The deafening sound of footsteps interrupts the both of you, and you both share a look before Percy is darting out of the tent and outside. You follow closely behind, a fresh pack of band-aids still in your hands.
Luke is leading a chase, with a giant red flag in his hands and a wide grin on his face. Dozens of campers follow him. Percy runs to them, jumping up and down and screeching something you can’t make out. Everyone is laughing, grinning. Everyone except for Luke.
His eyes look over the scene, looking for something you’re not sure of. It’s not until they land on you that it clicks. He was looking for you.
Instantly, he shoves the flag over to some unsuspecting kid and rushes over to you. It’s such an exhilarating feeling, being the person he looks for. You aren’t sure when that had happened, or what you had even done to deserve it- you just know you’ll thank The Gods everyday for allowing it.
Luke’s arms wrap around your waist, engulfing you in a bone-crushing hug. Instantly, your senses are overrun by everything Luke. You can feel him, smell him, practically taste him with how close he is. It’s too much and not enough all at the same time.
Your arms wrap around his neck, dropping the pack of band-aids in the grass and standing on your toes. You grin into his neck, “I knew you’d win.”
Luke snorts, giving you one final squeeze and backing away, but his hands remain at your waist. It makes you feel faint. “It was nothing, really.” He says with a shrug.
You furrow your brows, unconvinced. You know Luke is more than proud of his accomplishment, so why was he acting so easy going right now?
“Is that so?” You ask, swaying on your feet. “So, you aren’t going to be bragging to Clarisse for the next week about how you beat her?”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “Oh, no, of course I am. But, I can’t say that in front of a pretty girl can I? Gotta play it smooth.” He squeezes your waist as he says it, and your cheeks instantly fluff. A pretty girl. He was calling you a pretty girl.
Compliments from Luke were hardly rare, but he never said them in front of so many prying eyes. And it’s then that you notice everyone staring at the two of you, most all have knowing smirks on their faces, but some look on in jealousy. You hate to admit that it almost makes you prideful.
You were the only one Luke ran too- the one he looked for. That had to mean something, didn’t it?
You look away from him, rolling your eyes and shoving at him playfully. “Shut up, you flirt.”
He pretends to look hurt, giving you his best puppy dog eyes and grasping at his chest. “Oh, how you wound me!”
You giggle and open your mouth to respond, but Clarisse's familiar screech of anger interrupts you. “Where is he?”
You raise your brows, watching as Luke winces. While he would be claiming bragging rights for the rest of the week, being around her right now definitely wasn’t the best idea.
You suck in a breath, whistling lowly. “I think you’d better run.”
Luke’s lips thin into a line, tilting his head. “Yeah. Probably.” But, he doesn’t move. Instead, he just stares down at you. You raise your eyebrows in confusion, “Are you going to go?” You ask.
Luke grins slyly, “Yeah, just one more thing..”
It’s then that you feel the familiar warmth of Luke’s lips on your cheek, suspiciously close to your mouth. But, just as soon as he was there, he was gone. Running off and leaving you flustered and alone.
Your hands intertwine in front of you, a large cheesy grin on your face. You turn and begin walking back to the tent to clean up, but everyone’s eyes on you stops you. You glance down at your clothes, and then feel your face, checking for something- anything.
When you don’t find anything, you let out a nervous laugh. “What…?”
Everyone shares a look, one that you know all too well. You let out a groan, hands running through your hair, “It’s not like that!”
Percy shakes his head, “Yeah, okay. Of course it’s not.”
You just roll your eyes and storm into the tent. They were seeing things that just weren’t there! Luke was your best friend, and it was normal for best friends to be affectionate!
Hugs, compliments, cheek kisses… there was nothing else going on. Luke was just your friend being happy to see you.
That was all.
taglist: @apolloscastellan @ddarling-ddearest-ddead
#luke castellan x you#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan fanfic#luke castellan#charlie bushnell x reader#charlie bushnell#percy jackson and the olympians x reader#percy jackson fanfic#percy jackson and the olympians#fanfic#fluff#the alchemy#song fic#pining#kat thinks 🙋♀️#xspeter works#dancing with our hands tied
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You drew stars around my scars ✮⋆˙
Life is hard. Some people don't know how to cope with that. Some people just try to feel mentally better by causing physical pain instead. How ironical, isn't it? Oh but bless you, that lee felix is in your life. Because this man never misses a thing.⋆。°✩
Genre:Angst,Hurt/comfort
Warnings:Sh,a bit childhood trauma, Depression, Crying, mentions of food,mentions of bad eating habits
Lee felix x fem.Reader
Words: 3,9k
a/n: hey everyone<33 To write this fic brought me some comfort too, and it's healing me a bit more everytime i can use my own experiences,emotions and thoughts to write something that comforts others too, and relate to y/n a lot. And i know i'm not the only one, so i hope this can bring everyone that reads it a bit comfort. And pls always remember what of a beautiful person you are. Hurting yourself is never ever the only solution. If you need someone to talk, reach out to someone, anyone, also me if you don't have anyone. I'd rather have literally any person cry for hours in my arms, or vent to me in my dm's than have them hurt their own bodies, that always supports them. Everything felix says in that fic is true, and they r my own thoughts about this. I love you all, take care of yourselves.<3
Depression takes a lot from you. It takes your motivation, productivity, the will to socialize, and your happiness. It’s unfair isn’t it? Little, happy children become tired, broken adults.
People always think depression is something where you sit in your bed the whole day and cry. Well that is half true. Yes, there are days like that, but that’s far not everything. The worst are those dull days, when you feel entirely numb, but your life has to go on anyways. No joy in your heart, and no tears in your eyes. Just a big nothing in your mind.
After a while you figure it out though. It’s always those numb episodes, until every emotion you thought didn’t exist the days before, crashes down on you. And it’s overwhelming. Every.single.time.
But what if you’d find something that could ‚help‘ you? Something that brought you pain and relief at the same time? That made you feel alive, in the numb episodes and distracted you from the pain in the days where you broke down? The price was just your beautiful skin, and blood...
A problem was though, once you’d start, it would be very hard to stop again. But why should you anyways? Why should you stop when it was the only thing seemingly bringing you comfort for some short time?
It started off by you, picking at your skin absimendtly whenever you felt anxious, or when you just didn’t pay attention. It felt relieving. It was the burning pain when you scatched on your skin so hard it was slightly bloody, making you feel like your feelings actually mattered. And then that one night. That night everything crashed down on you. Your friends wanted nothing to do with you anymore, the few you had before, cut contact. You couldn’t even be mad at them. Who wouldn’t be annoyed by someone who constantly cancelled plans, and gave off a „depressing, annoying attitude“? Well these were their words. Oh but you saw it coming. All the overthinking in the middle of the night, those worst case scenarios, they had come true.
And your family? You never had a healthy relationship with them. So now, that you were grown up, the contact was almost entirely dead. And yeah, there was your boyfriend felix, but you’d never burden him with your problems. He already had enough on his mind with the world tour and all the new released albums, of the band he was in.
And that was it. No one there that you could reach out to, no one to comfort you, when your heart and mind were breaking into millions of glass splitters. Every person reaches their breaking point someday. And that day was yours. You remembered the night clearly. You were sitting on the bathroom floor, crying out all the emotion you had been holding in for too long. You had no friends anymore. No family. And pretty sure soon no boyfriend too. Nothing to hold onto.
Then you reached out to a drawer. You didn’t really register what you were doing as you took it out. A simple, silver blade. A little cut on your wrist. A line of crimson red blood on your skin.
At first you were terrified. What had you done? Why weren’t you affected by the stinging pain on your wrist, and the blood building in the small cut? Why did it in fact feel good? And then you decided to try it again, just to answer those questions right?
That’s where it started.
You knew you had depression. But going to a therapist? You were scared, probably too lazy, and you could never tell all your problems to a complete stranger. And most of all you didn’t want felix to worry either. He was the only one left, and soon he would surely leave too. He was the sweetest, sunny person on this earth, he deserved someone that matched his energy, and wasn’t so… hard to love.
Every single task felt like a hard, impossible chore. Getting out of your bed felt like doing the unbelievable. Doing the most simple things like showering, or brushing your teeth seemed so far away, that you could only master them on your best days. Some days, you went to work, did everything you had to, with a straight, stoic face. That was until you came home, laid into your bed, and silent tears would build wet spots on your pillow.
But somedays, even crying seemed too overwhelming. All you could do was lay in your dark room, staring at the wall. It was just the darkness and you, and somewhere in your mind, a voice whispering that it would help to cut...
And then there were these rare days, on which you felt almost too overwhelmed. It were those days you came home, and added another scar to the gallery of them on your arms. You questioned your life on these days. Because truly, you didn’t see a reason why you should be here right now. No, you weren’t proud of it. But who was there to stop you? Why should you quit if it was the only thing keeping you sane right now? When it was only the stinging pain who could make you slip out of the monotone haze in your mind, for at least a little bit time.
But it would be stupid to assume felix didn’t notice something was off. Lee felix was a pure person. Someone who could make even the rainiest days shine bright. And he cared about the people he loved more than anything else.
When you started cancelling plans it was already alarming for him. You were someone who never cancelled plans with him. You were usually a happy person, someone who made jokes that were actually funny. Someone who made him laugh with your little quirks, that he noticed over time. Someone who comforted him when he felt bad. And most of all you were the most excited person when you two would meet up. You never missed to tell him how much you loved him, that he was your happy person, and your comfort person.
That was before
Before suddenly everything stopped. He rarely got to see your beautiful face now anymore. You took a long time to respond to his texts, and when you did, they were short, and dry. This didn’t feel like you. Felix knew you. And that wasn’t you. This wasn’t the happy girl he met. And he surely wasn’t planning on letting things go like this forever. Something wasn’t right. And no matter what you said or did, to try and get away from him, and shut everything out, he would stay by your side. He would find out what was wrong and do everything possible in this world to make you feel like yourself again.
It was another day today. Another number on the calendar. You stopped looking at it. It didn’t matter anyways. Those were just numbers on paper, and they would never change anything. So you dragged yourself out of bed, feeling even heavier than usual. Like a zombie you just quickly got dressed, not even registering what you were wearing, and drank a mug of coffee. It would make you feel a bit more awake for at least a few hours. Eating breakfast had become impossible in the last few weeks. You were barely eating anything the whole day, to be honest. Sometimes, you just couldn’t stand up and make yourself something. But most times, you just didn’t feel hungry.
You went your usual way to work. At the bus, you took a short glance at your phone. You used to be on your phone a lot for the silliest things, but now you hated it. You hated the brightness, and that everytime you looked at it you had to interact with others. And the worst was, it remdinded you of what you had lost. The spark you had in your eyes on photos from a long time ago.
Something popped up on the screen
A message from felix. Of course. He messaged you every single day. You couldn’t ignore him, no matter how shitty felt, you couldn’t bring yourself to ignore him. So you opened it.
Hey sunshine<3How are you today? I thought of maybe grabbing some takeout and watching a movie together tonight, since i have off early! I’ll even let you pick one of those cheesy romcoms you love so much. Love u^^
You sighed. He was still so sweet, so caring, when he should be really annoyed, right? His girlfriend was a walking zombie, why didn’t he already break up with you?
Hey lix, sorry no time today.
Then you quickly put your phone away. You couldn’t stand thinking of his lips turning into that sad pout, when he’d read your answer. But you couldn’t meet him. You didn’t care how stubborn that was, but you wouldn’t let him see you like this. He would see right through you, and get you to tell him what was wrong.
You stopped making excuses someday. Who even cared? Sooner or later he’d leave, just like your friends. No lame excuses would matter then. Someone like you was unlovable. And that would never change.
As felix read your response he sighed.
That was enough. He wouldn’t let your relationship carry on like that. He wouldn’t let you carry on like that. Something was clearly wrong and he wouldn’t stand so far away and watch you slowly shut down from the entire world. Not anymore. Tonight he would come to your apartment, if you wanted to or not.
You didn’t remember what you did throughout the day. When you tried to recall it, there were only hazy memories, covered in a grey, thick fog. You didn’t even remember how you came home. Everything just happened. Now, you were walking through your apartment door, kicking off your shoes and coat. With a deep sigh, you dragged yourself to the bathroom. You shut the door, immediately sinking down on the floor. You were exhausted. More than that. The past days, or maybe even weeks you had held everything in more than usual. You felt like passing out right then and there, on the cold bathroom tiles. But there was something else. You knew that feeling. When you would have spent too many days in numbness, then at one point, every emotion, everything you thought wasn’t there before, creeps up in your throat from the depths of your soul. You feel the grieve, the sadness, the anger, the guilt, every single emotion crashing down on you at once. And then you can’t stop it anymore.
Tears started to well up in your eyes, and you pulled your knees up for a bit comfort.
These were the moment you hated the most, besides the numbness. Being numb is uneblievably tiring, but when all the feelings, everything comes up at once, that is even worse. You never knew how to deal with your emotions well. When you were a kid you never got the chance to express emotions. Crying was not allowed. If you did, you’d hear „ Stop it, or i���ll give you a reason to cry.“ If you screamed or hit out of anger you’d get punished in some way. Only a polite smile was, what was allowed to show on the outside, what to show to other people. That was probably part of the reason why you’d grown into a person who had these unhealthy, shitty habits, instead of expressing and coping with their emotions well.
You knew you should just let it pass. Endure these feelings. Maybe text someone to try and distract yourself. But somehow, you always went back to drowning out emotions with physical pain. You took the sharp blade from the bathroom drawer, your hands going unbelievable shaky like they always did when you took it out. You only started to cry more. You hated that you did it. You hated that you were a person that couldn’t handle their own feelings like a responsible adult, and had to shut them out with self harming instead. And still you did it again and again. You hated the way your arm looked when you put your sleeve up now. White lines from old cvts. Slightly reddish ones from some that happened some time ago. And those brightred ones. Reminders of not too long ago. They made you so angry. Reminding you of who you were. Of what you were.
So you decided to look away. You just put the blade to your wrist, looking at the blank bathroom wall. It was already so familiar, you knew where it would hurt the most without even looking.
Felix was searching around his apartment for that gray hoodie you wanted to have everytime you saw him wearing it. Maybe it would cheer you a bit up. As he finally found it, he grabbed the brownies he had made for you earlier, and his keys, heading out his apartment, to head to yours instead.
He started his car. It was a short drive so there was not much time for thinking. But there were some thoughts in the back of his head. Wasn’t he overstepping? You clearly didn’t want to see him, maybe you were also just annoyed?
But felix shook those voices off. He knew you. He had known you for years, and this wasn’t you. He had to do this.
And then he was already at your apartment. Slowly he got out of the car, taking the things, and started to walk up the stairs.
Soon he was in front of your door. Should he knock? He knew where your spare key was but he didn’t want to be respectless. So he softly knocked on the door.
„Y/n? It’s me, felix. I know you didn’t want to meet, but… i was worried. Can we talk please, my love?“
He waited for a minute. But there was no answer. Maybe you really weren’t at home? He decided to just try it. To his surprises the door was unlocked. That meant you were home, but also why would you let your door stay unlocked? He sighed, and locked it from the inside. He quietly took off his shoes, and put them on the side. Yours were scattered messily on the floor, and your coat too. Usually you hated when something in your apartment wasn’t organized. Maybe you were in a hurry before. He went into the kitchen, wich was dark, putting the brownies on the counter. „Y/n?“ he softly called out again. Still no answer.
But there, suddenly he heard something. A quiet, mumbling or...crying? His brows furrowed and he tried to follow the sound. There. In the bathroom. It seemed like you didn’t hear him calling you. At first he considered just going back to your kitchen and waiting there for you to come out, but when he heard another deep sob from you, he knew what to do. Whatever was going on right now, he wanted to be by your side. So he took a deep breath and opened the door.
„Y/N, what is g-“ His eyes widened in shock, and your head perked up immediately at the door clicking open, your gaze changing from surprise, to confusion, to somewhat realization and guilt. The sight in front of him horrified him. His beautiful, lovely girlfriend sat on the bathroom floor, her face red and puffy from crying, and a sharp blade in her hand. And your arm… How couldn’t he notice? He just stood there, in the door, staring at you.
You couldn’t read his face. Was he mad…? Of course he’d be mad. You quickly reacted as you got to your senses again. You jumped up, letting the blade fall, and a drop of blood dropping down on your white bathroom tiles.
„Felix…. I can explain, i h-haven’t, it’s not what it looks like o-okay? I’m okay, p-please i know you’re mad but-“
You got cut off. You couldnt’t even say anything more, because suddenly you were wrapped up tightly in your boyfriend’s comforting, warm embrace. You forgot how good a hug from him felt… And when you got a little glance at his face that was it. No anger, no twisted kind of any emotion against you. There was pure sympathy and love. When you also saw a tear rolling down his face, you couldn’t take it anymore. You buried your face in his neck, and let go. You sobbed uncontrollably, your arms and legs trembling so much, to the point your knees gave in, and felix slowly sank to the ground with you. Why did the cvts on your arms suddenly really hurt for the first time? He had you pulled on his lap, rocking you back and forth, stroking your hair gently. „Shhh, it’ll be alright. I’m here now, you are not alone.“
Good thirty minutes later, your sobbing had stopped, and only warm paths of tears remained on your cheeks. Felix lifted your head from his neck a bit, so he could look into your eyes. Though you had just cried your heart out, it was still the most mesmerizing pair of eyes he had seen in his life. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
„Let me treat those, okay?“ He simply said, glancing at your cuts.
He was gentle. He desinfected every single cut, apologizing every time you hissed at the sharp pain. Then he put some healing ointment on your fresh ones, and some at your older ones too. Then, with gentle, calm hands he bandaged your arms. He ended his treament with featherlight kisses on them. Then he got up, helping you up too. He had his hands on your side, his eyes on your face.
„Love…I won’t ever judge you, or get mad at you for anything, i hope you know that okay? I know that this is probably your way to cope with things, and i know that you know it’s not healthy. But it’s okay. Please just promise me, you will come to me instead of doing that, from now on hm? Everytime you want to do it you call me, text me, whatever. I’d rather have you crying in my arms for hours, venting to me for hours, you screaming at me, or do whatever you need to, than have you hurt and bleeding entirely alone on the floor. I’ll come over, and do whatever i need to, to cheer you up alright? And don’t shut me out from your life. I want to be a part again. I miss the way you’d text me when you see something that makes you smile. Or when you send me pics of the cute cats you saw on the sidewalk. Or when you just simply tell me about your day. And most important of all, i’ll stay by your side okay? No matter what. I will do everything to help you recover, and build up your life in a way that makes you happy okay? Let me help you sunshine. You don’t need to do it all alone.No matter how hard it in the past was, I’m here now, and I don’t plan on leaving soon.“
Tears welled up in your eyes again, but this time you smiled at him. „Okay lixie. Okay. I’ll try.“
Then he softly smiled at you, and guided you to your livingroom, where he made you sit on the couch. He rushed off to the kitchen, and was soon back again with a plate of brownies and his gray hoodie. „It seems like you didn’t eat much lately, you’ve been getting a bit too skinny, love. But don’t worry, now i’m here to feed you with everything you want to eat. You don’t need to move a single finger.“ He mumbled, as he first handed you the hoodie, wich you put on immediately and snuggled into it. It had always been your comfort hoodie, since it was big, fluffy, and always smelled like him a lot. Then he put down the plate in front of you. Felix’ brownies had always been one of your favorite things. They were delicious like no one else’s.Everytime you asked him what he was throwing in there, he always told you that it was his love and care wich he made them with. You believed him, this man made everything better with his sunny personality.
You simply smiled at him, and took one of the brownies, taking a big bite
„That’s my girl.“ He chuckled, ruffling your hair. As you were munching, and he was watching you with a fond smile, he suddenly asked „Do you have a marker somewhere here?“ You looked up, raising a brow. „Yeah, in the drawer over there i guess, why?“ He just stood up, and opened said drawer, taking the marker. He was back by your side in an instant. „Please give me one arm love“ He said, politely like always. You were still pretty confused but how could you say no to that? So you slowly laid your bandaged arm in his hands. He kissed it once and then softly started to draw on it. „What are you doing?“ you asked, mouth full of brownie.
„Those my love, are battle scars. It isn’t beautiful how you got them, but they are a part of you now, and they make you the person you are. They deserve to be called beautiful now too, like every single body part of yours. I love every part of you. And when they are healed, I’ll kiss each and everyone of them, but for now, they deserve to be treated with care. They will only heal properly, if you let them. If you’d always be angry when you’d look at them, they would never really heal. You would never really heal. You need to forgive yourself, and someday you will be able to move on. They show how far you’ve come, that it was very hard, but you never gave up. Battle scars, my love.“
You looked into his eyes. He said all that so sincere, you believed every word. And then as he was done you saw what he did. A lot of little stars, and a pretty moon in the middle were drawn on the bandages. And next to the moon he wrote a little note
„Because i want you to never forget who you are. You are Y/n L/n, a fighter, and the most beautiful woman i know.“
„How did i deserve you lee felix?“ You murmured in awe.
„You deserve the world, and more my love.“
And that really was a turning point. Thanks to felix, your days weren’t dull anymore. He was always there with you, laughing and talking a lot, but he also respected when you wanted some alone time. And when you came to him somedays, crying and telling him that you wanted to do it again, he took you in his arms, wrapped you both into a blanket and rocked you back and forth, until no tears were left anymore, and the world seemed a bit brighter again. Then he mumbled soothing reassurances into your hair, kissing you on the forehead.
And like this, you were willing to try. You were willing to try and recover, and create a life that you loved living, with him in it.
a/n: now a note to: @athenawindwolf because I didn't have the courage to say it that night ( we ignore that i'm writing this while you are texting me,still in that night), i'll be your chan friend, and in the context of this fanfic your felix friend, whenever you need me. I hope yk, I never judge anyone, and i've been through a lot too so rlly i would never ever judge or tell anyone if you tell me smth. We said we r the big sisters of our friends now, so that means we r sisters right? Come to me whenever you need to talk. Now this was for u, and I also have to say i'm thankful someone is sharing one of my interests now<3 Ily di angelo.@athenawindwolf (and i hope i didn't make you cry with this fic)
#stray kids#skz#stay#straykids#stray kids fanfic#lee felix#stray kids felix#stray kids felix fanfic#stray kids felix x reader#stray kids angst#stray kids fluff#skz x reader#skz imagines#lee felix x reader#lee felix fluff#lee felix fanfic#felix lee#lee felix angst#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfiction#felix stray kids#stray kids oneshot#writing#straykids felix#straykids fanfic#straykids angst#straykids x reader#stray kids moodboard
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Request: "May I request soft akatsuki headcannons for a reader who loves to bake and cook? It's a passion of mine, and a great stress reliever! There's nothing I won't try and try to make!"
Notes: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond 😭 I also like cooking and I completely agree with you! I hope you like what I wrote, good reading!
"Are you hungry, love?"- Akatsuki
Warnings: no pronouns; no use of "y/n"; pure cuteness. Gender: Soft Headcanons. Characters: Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Kakuzu; Hidan; Zetsu; Tobi/Obito; Pein; Konan.
Itachi Uchiha
He always offers you help in the kitchen.
He is very picky when cooking for someone but is easily satisfied with whatever you cook for him.
He feels obligated to return the favor by cooking for you too. That's why he took charge of breakfast, always waking up before you to prepare what you like.
Likes hot foods and pasta. Loves handmade sweets.
He prefers traditional foods, but accepts trying new flavors when he's with you.
He loves going out to buy new ingredients with you, he knows a lot about the subject and would be of great help.
Kisame Hoshigaki
You know that popular saying that the best way to conquer a man is through his stomach? It applies very well to this man.
He likes to be spoiled with food and will be grateful for it so.. please cook for him.
His heart feels warm when he comes home and smells something delicious you are preparing.
He likes foods with a sweet and sour taste, and he loves meat. He also loves sweets, so it's not hard to please Kisame.
He loves trying new flavors with you. If you want, he'll even help you in the kitchen, but he's not very good (he's a bit clumsy).
He'll find a way to say thank you, whether it's washing the dishes, giving gifts, taking you out to eat, all of the above, whatever you prefer.
He's the kind of guy who would eat what you prepared even if it was completely burnt if he knew you put effort into it.
Deidara
He likes fast food, but is very happy when you cook for him.
Thanks to you, he's starting to eat more healthily, because he has a childish palate and is very resistant to exploring new flavors.
He likes spicy foods because are like an explosion in the mouth.
"I have to say, honey, your cooking is an art!" - he says with his mouth full when he really likes it.
One of his favorite moments of the day is when you're eating something you've prepared or he's bought, watching a movie and talking about anything.
It's something very simple, but if you make a cake just for him on his birthday, he'll feel so loved that he might even cry a little.
(Sometimes he brags to the other members about having such a skilled s/o in the kitchen).
But please keep this boy the hell away from the kitchen! When I say he's a complete chaos cooking, it's because the kitchen almost always explodes! Literally!
Sasori
He often forgets that he still needs to eat due to his puppet body, so he's grateful that you remind him. He still needs to eat a little every now and then to ensure a bit of vital energy or something.
And yes, that was the lie he invented to not disappoint you. And regardless of whether you believed it or not, he always eats your food, even though he knows how much work it will take to clean his insides afterwards (don't worry, he'll probably come up with something to solve this).
Understand, he lied because he knows how important cooking is to you, he sees how much you work at it, but had the misfortune of being with a guy who doesn't need to eat… but he couldn't risk hurting you for something that's his fault.
Sasori only eats your food and no one else's, no matter how much they insist.
He likes foods with strong spices, he no longer feels flavors in the same way as when he was a human.
At the end of every meal, he politely thanks you for the delicious food and offers to help with the dishes.
Kakuzu
He likes hot, very hot, and traditional foods. Doesn't like sweets.
He's great in the kitchen and sometimes cooks for you too, as a thank you. Kakuzu has many years of experience in the kitchen, take the opportunity to ask questions and get some tips, he may not show it but he really likes to help you.
Maybe you don't know, but Kakuzu practically never eats out, he knows that some people want him dead and could easily poison his food. So for him to eat everything you prepare without hesitation is really a great show of trust.
He is very silent while eating, but he doesn't mind if you want to talk about your day, he will be listening to every part.
He really appreciates your food, getting involved and asking about the spices you used, how you prepared it, he really likes it when you test a new recipe.
Always at the end of every meal he thanks you for the food and gets up before you to clear the table and wash the dishes, a silent way of thanking you.
Hidan
Spicy and crunchy foods and sour desserts, it's true heaven for him...
As incredible as it may seem, Hidan is very picky about his food, it's unbearable to go out to eat with him, it seems like he always makes a point of finding some flaw.
But it's the total opposite with you, he eats everything you prepare without complaining too much, just teasing you a little as always. Except if he is angry with you for some reason, then he will be impossible, no matter what you prepared, he will not eat it.
Hidan has a very annoying childhood palate, so don't force him to eat something he doesn't really like, like vegetables for example.
You'll probably have some arguments about him drink any kind of blood but not wanting to eat the soup you made (for example), but it won't change anything.
Whenever you enter the kitchen, Hidan follows right behind to find out what you're going to prepare and also because he loves to annoy you while you're cooking. He tickles you, bites you, hugs you, kisses you and even steals some utensils to disturb you before you kick him out of the kitchen.
Zetsu
He likes meat a lot, in fact you thought it was the only thing he could eat.
He is very impatient and even hugs you trying to convince you to let him eat before you finish.
"I don't care that it's not ready yet and it's raw, I'm hungry, love. Let me eat it just the way it is."
Not a very good critic of your recipes, he will eat literally anything you put in front of him and thank you for it.
You are the one who teaches him to have a more refined palate and he loves trying new flavors with you.
Zetsu grows a vegetable garden just for you, with everything you need fresh and tasty for your recipes.
Tobi/Obito Uchiha
Tobi >loves< sweets, make sweets for him and you'll have him curled up in the palm of your hand.
Both Tobi and Obito don't like spicy food.
He feels so loved when you cook for him <3 (a tip: prepare ramen for him when he's sad, it'll make him feel better).
Whenever he comes home early he brings you some sweets he bought at the bakery as a treat.
This is another man who is very easy to win over with his stomach. He'll feel very special if you tell him you've prepared something just for him. Make him your guinea pig for new recipes, he really doesn't mind and always gives you great feedback.
He always offers you the first bite out of respect, he is as happy to see you eating and talking about how tasty it is as he is to eat something you prepared.
Pein
Pein went through long periods of starvation as a child, so as much as it may seem, he isn't very picky about what he eats.
Likes hot and spicy foods. Hate sweets.
He is a great fan of your food, even if you've accidentally burnt it or overdone the seasoning, he'll be happy to eat something you've lovingly prepared.
Due to his work as leader of Akatsuki, he often forgets to eat properly. It's you who show up at his office and remind him to eat, with something you've prepared in hand, he's really grateful for your care.
He is always attentive to your needs. Did you like a cuter utensil kit than the ones you have? Are your. Wanting new seasonings? Suddenly they appear in your pantry. Everything you need.
Pein always makes it clear how he likes you to cook but that he doesn't want you to be overwhelmed with it, so he does everything to make this task easier for you, including ordering something from restaurants for you to eat and enjoy your free time together.
Konan
He likes mild sweets and, ironically, spicy foods. (Please make sweets for Konan, she likes a lot).
She will always feel like she is bothering or burdening you when you cook for her.
Konan isn't that good in the kitchen, so she's grateful to have a s/o who cooks so well. Sometimes she watches you cook to try to learn something, in an attempt to return the favor one day.
Buy a lot of sweets for you and make a point of always keeping your pantry well stocked so you don't have to worry about buying ingredients.
As I said, Konan doesn't like to burden you, so very often she takes you on restaurant dates.
Konan loves the culinary tours you plan, she could listen to you talk for hours about techniques, recipes and ideas. She loves seeing how excited you get talking about it.
Sorry for any typos;
Buy me a coffee?
Masterlist
#akatsuki headcanons#akatsuki#akatsuki fanfic#akatsuki imagine#akatsuki x reader#akatsuki x you#itachi x reader#kisame x reader#deidara x reader#sasori x reader#kakuzu x reader#hidan x reader#zetsu x reader#pein x reader#konan x reader#itachi headcanons#kisame headcanons#deidara headcanons#kakuzu headcanons#sasori headcanons#hidan headcanons#zetsu headcanons#obito x reader#obito headcanons#pein headcanons#konan headcanons#naruto headcanons#naruto fanfic
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hihi!!
the urge to be brat tamed runs through my mind all day. but cheol taming his brat, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!
covering your mouth and his veiny hands around your neck so your porn-like moans aren’t heard by his members.
making you suck his fingers and using your saliva as lube.
slapping you every time you moan a little to loud.
cum denial until the point where you’re literally screaming his name as if it’s your sole vocabulary begging him to let you cum while tears run down your fucked out face.
— the list goes on but here’s just a few to get a feel for!!
(literally love your posts sooooo much!!! keep up the good work ❤️)
BRAT-TAMER SEUNGCHEOL that's it.
Where Seungcheol gets jealous because his friend Jeongha, is all over you, even though your relationship is private, Seungcheol gets mad at your brat teasing. So he fucks you without mercy, separated by just one room from the members.
Word Count: 1.7k
Jealous dom! Seungcheol, Brat sub! Reader
Warnings: Smut, jealously sex, cum denial, slut shamming, begging, degradation, crying, angst, saliva as lube, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, bathroom sex, ass slapping, face slapping, chocking and etc.
The weekend getaway with Seungcheol and your friends had started out as a much-needed break. His friends were always very nice to you, and soon they became your friends too. The idea of renting a house for this period of rest sounded very pleasant. Everyone laughed, danced and sang, while you, Jeonghan and Mingyu cooked for the group.
As the day unfolded, you noticed Seungcheol's subtle glances whenever Jeonghan was around. Unbeknownst to your friends, your relationship with Seungcheol was still a secret, and the protective side of him was on full display.
Jeonghan pulled you into a hug, the kind that lasted just a tad too long, and a conversation that seemed a bit too personal. Seungcheol's reaction was swift, though subtle. His jaw clenched, and his eyebrows furrowed as he observed the scene. He couldn't shake off the unease that gripped him.
As Jeonghan continued to chat with you, Seungcheol's discomfort became more evident. Sensing something amiss, you looked at him and asked, "Hey, everything okay?" He nodded, but his locked jaw and the intensity in his gaze told a different story.
Before the tension could escalate, Jeonghan, with his ever-present charisma, pulled you away to join another conversation. You shot a puzzled glance at Seungcheol, but he merely nodded again, though this time, there was a palpable tension in the air.
Seungcheol couldn't take it any longer. He grabbed your arm gently, pulling you aside towards a nearby bathroom. Once inside, he closed the door behind him, his expression unreadable.
"What's going on, Seungcheol?"
"You're mine for now," he declared, his voice low and possessive. His eyes bore into yours, a mixture of frustration and desire. "I can't stand seeing him all over you like that," he admitted, his voice low but intense.
A mischievous grin played on your lips as you locked eyes with Seungcheol, your fingers gently tracing circles on his arm. "Well, someone seems a bit possessive," you teased, raising an eyebrow playfully.
Seungcheol's expression shifted to confusion, and he arched a thick eyebrow in response. His veins pulsed on his neck, a subtle display of the building anger beneath the surface.
"What do you mean?" he asked, his tone irritated
You chuckled, enjoying the playful banter. "You know, claiming me in the bathroom like that. It's almost like you want to tell the world we're together."
His eyes narrowed, the tension in his shoulders rising. "I never said that," he retorted, the veins on his neck more prominent now.
Leaning in, you whispered teasingly, "Maybe you just can't resist showing off your amazing girlfriend."
Seungcheol's jaw clenched, his frustration evident. "You're making it sound like I'm the one holding us back from going public.”
You couldn't resist pushing his buttons further. With a sly smile, you mimicked his serious expression, contorting your face into a comical version of his furrowed brows and arched eyebrow.
His eyes widened in disbelief. Before he could react, he lost his mind momentarily.
He pushed your body against the bathroom wall, a firm grip around your neck, while his lips brushed against yours. In the close proximity, he warned with a husky voice, "You're loosing your mind Y/N."
“Am I?” You couldn't help but laugh, the cut air from the choking making you gasp.
Seungcheol's grip tightened slightly, his lips hovering near yours. "You find this cool?" he questioned.
His eyes seemed to glow red furiously. The air grew thick as he sucked his teeth, not a hint of a smile on his face.
Before you could gauge his next move, he reached out, his fingers gripping the fabric of your sun dress. In one swift motion, he pulled you closer, the dress bunching up slightly.
With your dress in his hands, he pulls it up, revealing your panties, so he pulls them down hard, the lacy fabric immediately tearing in his hands. You gasp, denying to yourself "I didn't even like that one anyway..." Lie. It was your favorite.
His breath was strong against your face as he whispered, "You're mine, and I don't share.”
The possessiveness in his voice sent a shiver down your spine, and you couldn't help but moan, feeling the wetness between your thighs.
"I'm gonna give you a lesson." Without breaking eye contact, he reached out, gently guiding your chin upward. His fingers traced along your jawline before he leaned in, whispering, "You need to learn who you belong to.”
His fingers traced a path along your lower lip, the touch sending a shiver down your spine. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly trailed his digits over your tongue, the intimate contact making your saliva envelop his skin.
You looked in his eyes, before sucking his two fingers, just like you would suck his cock. So he slowly pulled his fingers, making your lower lips flip back shiny with your saliva.
His wet fingers circled your clit slowly, making you hold onto him, his eyes burning you "You're such a brat," he remarked, the edge of amusement evident in his voice.
With a playful glint in your eyes, you shot back, "Well, maybe I like being a brat."
He chuckled, the tension dissipating into a teasing energy. "Do you now?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. His tone held a challenge as he continued, "Tell me, what's the appeal of being a brat, hm?"
You leaned in, a mischievous smile playing on your lips. "Maybe I enjoy seeing you lose your cool. It's kind of hot, you know?"
Without warning, he pushed his two fingers inside of you, making you groan. He curled his digits perfectly while his body pressed yours on the bathroom tiles, you looked to the mirror on your side, his big biceps flexing as he worked his skillfully fingers inside of you.
Your weeping cunt can be heard by him, the gushing sound hitting his senses as his fingers get wetter every second. "Look at you… So wet for me, and I didn't even started to fuck you."
"I get wet just by thinking about you getting mad."
"Yeah? Just to let you know… I am pissed off."
Without warning, he pushed your body, and you felt the cold tiles of the bathroom wall against your cheek. His strong grip held you in place, and the sudden shift left you breathless.
The sound of his belt being unbuckled echoed in the small space, you could sense Seungcheol's controlled anger. The forceful push of his big cock inside of your pussy, made you moan loud.
Before the sound could fully echo, Seungcheol's veiny hands covered your mouth, suppressing any further noise. Your eyes met his in the mirror, and your body ached against his, caught between the cold tiles and the heat radiating from Seungcheol.
He stopped his hips, his tip hitting your cervix, before taking everything out and slamming all in once inside of you again, his hands once again muffling a scream. "S-Seungcheol!"
Seungcheol gives you a harsh spank, making your body tremble, eyes closed tightly. Allowing you to take another breath, he takes his hand off your mouth. His voice, low and intense, broke the momentary silence. "You don't want the members to hear us, right?"
You can feel your walls clenching around his cock, sensing the know on your stomach wanting to be free, making him groan in response. The spongy little spot being abused with the strength of his dick knocking you.
Tears trickle down your face, your lip being bitten by yourself wasn't helping too much, as you feel your orgasm getting closer, the whimpering turning into moans, that turned into screams again.
Everytime you let out a moan escape, he gives you harsh slaps on the meat of your ass, the flesh turning red, as the skin burns like hell. "Be quiet," he instructed, his gaze locking onto yours in the mirror. His question lingered, "Is that what you want? Everyone to hear how good I am fucking you?"
Your gaze met Seungcheol's reflected eyes in the mirror, nodding yes, with a mischievous smile. Seungcheol's eyes held satisfaction, and the synchronized rhythm of his thrusts continued.
Seungcheol groaned in your ear, your weeping cunt tightening around him, and he could feel your walls milking his dick, as your world spinned, the moans leaving your throat non-stop, and he slapped you each time.
When entered on the brink of an orgasm, he pulled out his wet cock, making you whine between his grip and the wall. The denying made you sob, your clit begged attention, and your poor pussy was a mess.
Seungcheol coos at you "Slut… Can't even endure your own provocations…" his fingers wiped your tears away, before giving you a slap on the side of your cheek.
"P-please let me c-um" You begged, the tears shining with the bathroom light.
"Beg that prettily for me again."
"Please Seungcheol, I am f-ucking begging you babe." Your head lays on his shoulder.
He pushed his cock effortlessly inside of you again making you scream his name, your throat barely having power to speak. His fingers search to your sopping folds, collecting your arousal to masturbate your clit fast. And if it wasn't his tight grip on you, your knees would've found the ground already.
Seungcheol hips start to stutter, the rhythm becoming inconsistent, as a wet white ring forms around the base of his cock. His groans became more whiny, and his fingers followed a crazy unstopping pace. You struggled to breathe properly because you're more and more pressed on the wall with each thrust of him. Making your moans follow the same pace of his strokes.
"Oh my god! Please, please, pl-ease…" The begging sounded infinite as he fucked you merciless.
You're too fucked out to process anything, or hold your moans, suddently your head feels dizzy as your knees trembled, your mouth hanging open and you could only manage silent moans. The orgasm comes harshly, making you whine shakily.
His swollen cock throbs against your walls and he whimpered, with a trembling high, Seungcheol painted your walls white, the sticky cum dripping as his hips strokes lazily, his hands softening his grip on you.
"You know, I think it's time I tell the members that you're my girlfriend."
You scoffed, a playful smile tugging at your lips. "After all of that, I think they probably already know, Seungcheol."
#seventeen reactions#seventeen imagines#seventeen headcanons#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#seventeen#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#svt smut#svt imagines#seventeen x oc#seventeen x you#seventeen x y/n#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol smut#choi seungcheol#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol angst#seungcheol fluff#seungcheol x you#seungcheol x y/n#seungcheol x oc#scoups smut#scoups angst#scoups x reader#svt x reader#scoups imagines#scoups x y/n#scoups x you
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your writing makes me go so fucking feral dude oh my god
could i request a haarlep/reader and raphael/reader nsfw blurb or literally anything? i eat your writing up like it's my last meal
☆ Tʜᴇɪʀ Lᴏᴠᴇʟʏ Lɪᴛᴛʟᴇ Tᴏʏ ☆
₊˚⊹♡ Pᴀɪʀɪɴɢs: Haarlep x F!Tav/Reader ✧ Raphael x F!Tav/Reader
₊˚⊹♡ Cᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ: NSFW ✧ Soft Haarlep Towards End ✧ Possessive Raphael ✧ Filling You With So Much Cum Your Tummy Feels Full ✧ Big Pretty Ridged Cocks ✧ Breeding You ✧ Creampie ✧ Stretching You Nicely
₊˚⊹♡ Nᴏᴛᴇ: Awh ♡ ♡ ♡ Thank You So Much For Enjoying My Work xoxo!!! I Did Both Because Both Of Them Are Perfection!!! I Hope You Love This My Dear ♡ ♡ ♡ May This Feed Your Soul And Your Horniness xoxo ♡ ♡ ♡
Hᴀᴀʀʟᴇᴘ
“Who said you can rest, dove~”
Haarlep lifted your limp body with ease, his nails kissing your hips as he held your abused hole above his thick cock. The creatures cum drooling from your twitching pussy, making quite the mess on his lap, “Is this really the best your body can do? How disappointing.” He pouts mockingly, “We were only just getting started, little love~”
The incubus’ lips pulled into a sharp grin as his tail curled around your thigh to spread your leg wider for him. The tip of his cock teasing your opening, pushing into the sloppy mess your body was.
You were so tired… So, so tired… Sore, and exhausted. You had lost count of how many times you came and how many times Haarlep did. But you still couldn't help but cry out as Haarlep impaled you on his beautiful veiny cock once again, your head lolled back before your body slumped forward onto his chest, “Ahhh~♡ Ha-Haarleeeerp~ Th-e tip of y-your dick and n’my cervix are touching n’kissing each other~~~♡ Aahh~ It h-hurts so s’good~! Y-Yur gonna rip m-my n’insides~ ♡ Aaahha~”
A low purr rumbled in Haarlep's chest at your words as he started bouncing you on his cock, “What a good little toy~ You're taking me so well, dove~! Such a lovely little plaything~” Your breast, smushed so wonderfully against his chest, rubbed against his warm skin with each thrust, and he could feel how those cute perky nipples had gotten hard against him, “even though we’ve had our fun so many times now, you still react so nicely~ and you’re still so wonderfully tight~” his tongue licks against your cheek, lapping at the sweat that drenched your lovely flushed skin, “it almost feels like my cock is being strangled~”
Your arms wrapped around Haarlep's neck, and you held on tight, trying your best to match his pace and movements, your insides stretched and stuffed, the head of his cock hitting the entrance of your womb with each bounce, “s’too rough. M-my insides ngh~ a-are being bullied~ ♡ I- I feel like I'm gonna diee~ aahh~! ♡♡ Y-you're g-gonna break m-me~♡” You could feel his cum from the previous rounds sloshing around in your gut, the excess bubbling out with each thrust.
The creature knew how to make you break, knew how to make those pretty eyes of yours glaze over and roll into the back of your skull until tears dripped down your cheeks. Knew how to make those soft little noises come from your lips as you were fucked dumb.
“I would never allow that, sweet dove~ What fun would I have if you were broken before our time was up~?” His tail loosened around your leg and slid up your body, the tip of it flicking and brushing against your skin, his eyes narrowing, “Besides, if you were to die, who would let me have my fill~? And then, who would make such delicious, delectable noises just for me, little dove~?”
You were unable to respond, his thrusts too much for your poor mind… Unable to feel the way his arms were now securely wrapped around you, keeping you close. How his tail curled protectively against your back, or the soft way his eyes gazed at you…
You were unable to see just how gentle and caring his expression was as he fucked you. How the way his mouth parted, the fangs that had previously torn through your flesh and left behind bloody, purple marks, now glistened with saliva as he whispered, cooed and moaned, sweet words just for you, his little dove… Yes you were, his little dove, the one who came to him and gave him your life and body.
His sweet, lovely, little dove.
Rᴀᴘʜᴀᴇʟ
Your face was pressed into his mattress, his clawed hand tangled in your tousled locks as his hips snap against you, each thrust eliciting a sharp gasp or moan from those pretty bruised lips of yours. He had his other large hand splayed across the small of your back, holding you in place. His ridged cock pushing the cum he dumped into you further until it takes up every inch of space, making you feel full and stuffed.
“R-Raphael~! Pleassse! W-wait!!” You whimper pathetically, voice cracking as he ruts harder against you.
He leans over you, his hot breath washing over your back, causing goosebumps to erupt over your heated skin, before he growls lowly, “You were clearly reveling in the moment just a moment ago; do not retreat into shyness now, my little bird.”
Little bird, or rather little songbird as he usually says… Was his most recent pet name for you simply because he enjoyed the way you sung his name like a songbird as your body convulsed with each orgasm he wrung out of you.
Raphael licked a long, slow stripe up your spine, chuckling as you shiver and squirmed beneath him, mewling softly, before he nuzzles your neck and whispers huskily in your ear, his voice deep and gravelly, his tone alone sending a rush of heat to your face, “You're mine, leaking my seed. Do you not yet comprehend? I aim to ensure that your womb is nourished on this day.”
Your lips fell open, your eyes widening and cheeks flushing as his words settled in the deepest parts of your mind. The very thought of being bred by this devil, of his warm seed taking root within your belly, it made your head dizzy, “I-I’m-I... I-I'm- m’your- y-yours~” You slur, tongue heavy as you speak, “S’good~ m’your property~”
Raphael chuckles and pulls away, only to flip you over onto your back and then grab your thighs and pull them up, his hands moving to hook them behind your knees, pressing them close to your chest, “Indeed, my lovely little songbird, you belong to me.”
His hand caresses your cheek, a thumb running across your lips, pulling the bottom one down, a string of saliva connecting the digit and your lip, “Your lips,” his nail bites into the supple flesh, dragging across, splitting it, and the metallic taste of blood coats your tongue, making him moan as he watches you lick it up, a dark, hungry look in his eye, “your tongue, ah such a pleasurable anatomy” he slips a digit onto your tongue, groaning as you swirl it around his thick finger, “your womb” his finger leaves your mouth with a wet plop and your saliva as it trails down between your breasts until he finds where your bodies are joined.
A small bulge present beneath your navel, and he presses his palm flat against it, making you arch your back as his cock throbs and twitches inside of you, “your soul…“ He grinds his hips, pushing his cock deeper and harder against that spot, making you squeal, the bulge growing more pronounced and causing your stomach to distend as the tip of his cock nudges against your cervix, “all of you belongs to me.”
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#baldur’s gate 3#raphael bg3#tav#haarlep#bg3 raphael#raphael the cambion#bg3 haarlep#haarlep the incubus#monster smut#bg3 smut#monster fucking#monster fucker#smut#fanfic
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escape ᯓ soobin x femreader
genre: smut, slice of life, little teeny bit fluff
warnings: stress pretty much hard fucking you, sweetest boyfie service top!soobin, soft sex turned into... hehe. oral (f), pet names, spit / lmk if I missed anything!
it's been a hell week for you. you don't know if this is karma getting back to you or your classmates are really just a bunch of assholes making your life miserable.
monday and tuesday started as fine, but it turned into a nightmare after that. wednesday became your starting point—your pet peeves annoying the shit out of you and even corrected your behavior for scolding your classmates who are circling around a fainted girl. you're literally in charge of keeping the class not as chaotic as possible.
thursday really got you. some asshole wrote nasty words on your notebook and you were asked by your professor why did you write it. you explained to him in a panicked voice, "sir, even though I'm foul mouthed sometimes, I would never ever write stupid shit like that to my own notebook." good thing he considered it and gave you a good grade.
friday—earlier, made you almost burst into angry tears. your professor presented a documentary to your class for reflection and to write your opinion about it, but before that happened, you noticed the girl who looks like a butchered barbie whispering to her friend. you shrugged it off, thinking it was nothing. after that, her friend literally sat down in front of you to block the tv from your view. you were pissed, you love watching documentaries.
after class, you immediately went to your boyfriend's house. you entered the house unannounced and plopped down on the couch with a loud, exaggerated sigh.
soobin, who is currently playing mario kart, paused his game to greet you with a kiss. "hey babe, how's school?" sigh, being a college student sucks when your boyfriend just freshly graduated.
you start to ramble about your day and how today's week has been pissing you off. your professor even scheduled to finish the powerpoint presentation by monday—and your group hasn't even started researching!
"I'm sorry about that, love." soobin sighed, placing his big hand on your cheek to caress it. "and I know you haven't got a proper sleep after your examinations. you need a break."
"how?" you asked. "I'm literally gonna cry out of anger right now, maybe even commit arson. but seriously, how am I gonna rest if I have a shit ton of work to do? our date is canceled because of work."
"love, as much as I want to help, I cannot control your professors. and we can reschedule our date, hon. don't worry about it." he says softly, planting a kiss on your forehead which made you feel relieved.
"why don't you let me help you relax and escape from the reality, hmm?" he continued, his eyes filled with lust and admiration for you. you nod at his suggestion, letting him push you gently on the couch to lay on it.
soft, breathy moans escape your lips, legs spread and tits out as soobin eats you out. it was messy, actually. but you didn't mind—he looks good with his mouth and chin covered in your juices and his drool.
your back arched slightly when he inserts one of his long ass fingers, and since you were lost in this pleasure, you started to grind on it because why not?
"a-ahhah... soob..." you whimpered, a sigh coming out from his mouth. "you greedy princess... look at you being fucked out when we just started."
soobin suddenly pulls out his finger, making you whine. he stands up and pulls you on the edge of the couch before aligning his cock on your entrance. you genuinely thought that he was going to be hard on you, just like he always does.
but you were surprised when he pushes himself inside you and starts to thrust with a slow speed, as if grinding on you. you had gotten a little sensitive since it's been two weeks without any sex, blame the shitty college shit of course. and oh, my. it felt like you were in heaven.
having sex with soobin was always passionate, but not as passionate as tonight. you grip his biceps, looking up at him with your mouth slightly drooling. "more.."
"hmm? you want more?" he says, smirking at your request. he paused his thrusting, his lips crashing into yours in a heated kiss.
"you want more, hon? I'll give you more."
© iluvmy-desire, 2024 [ please don't steal. reblogging and liking my posts will be very appreciated. ]
#txt x reader#txt fluff#txt#txt smut#txt imagines#txt hard hours#txt scenarios#soobin#soobin smut#choi yeonjun#choi soobin#choi beomgyu#kang taehyun#huening kai#tomorrow by together#byhyuntae
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Dating Ghost!Jackie Headcanons
pairing: Jackie Taylor x r note: I'm not sure what this is either 🤷
Jackie being a pain in your ass beyond the grave. maybe not getting on with her super well while she was alive, so while her death was sad, it wasn’t nearly as emotionally devastating as it was for Shauna or someone else. so when you suddenly start seeing Jackie standing behind Shauna and trying to get her attention as she sobs over Jackie’s corpse, you wonder why you of all people would “hallucinate” her.
she finally notices you can see her when you can’t quite muffle your laugh at some petty comment she makes as the girls start carrying her body off to the meatshed. her eyes immediately narrow in on you while you’re just standing like a deer in the headlights.
just thinking about Shauna out there sobbing and crying in the meatshed with Jackie's corpse while Jackie's screaming in your ear because you won’t respond to her and she knows your ass can see her. at the top of her fucking lungs like a damn toddler. keeps switching into songs that give Crystal and Misty a run for their money on being annoying. holding a pillow over your head and groaning to drown her out, and Lottie’s trying to put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, thinking it's hunger pain or something.
she doesn’t talk as much as she did before—not that she ever really talked to you all that much to begin with. Jackie stares after Shauna a lot, following her around and trying fruitlessly to get her to hear her. she’s quiet a lot now, but if she’s not at Shauna’s side, she’s at yours.
you finally give up and start answering her whenever you’re mostly alone, claiming it’s just because you’ve accepted that you’re crazy now—though it’s mostly because she just looks so damn sad all the time. she brightens up a lot after this, following you like a lost puppy as you find the emptiest corners of the room to sit in. the other girls sometimes catch you talking to yourself, but with how everyone else is doing, they don’t bother to be concerned about it.
makes it her mission to annoy you as much as humanly possible, commenting on every little thing you’re doing like she’s a game show host. if you have to listen to Jackie narrate the way you eat one more time, you might just join her. always finds the worst time to jump out at you, giggling as she makes you look insane for screaming in shock in the middle of the cabin.
Jackie knocks stuff over whenever the other girls start talking shit about Shauna’s behavior in the meatshed. she doesn’t talk a lot about what Shauna does there, but she always looks strangely flattered when she comes back.
keeps you up to date on all the little drama’s going on in the cabin that you don’t witness. there’s literally no stopping her from eavesdropping on conversations and giving you a play-by-play as they happen. sometimes you just hear a dramatic gasp as her ghostly ass is skipping over to you to tell you about it.
bullies you into giving some of your food to Shauna. Shauna looks at you like you’re crazy but eagerly accepts it all the same. Jackie is standing there looking so proud of herself, like she’s the one that’s going to be starving and not you.
you have weird dreams almost every night. they aren’t unpleasant, just a little strange. they’re always about Jackie, always in places you think she would’ve enjoyed. walking around the mall, passing the ball around on the field, that sort of thing. you don’t think much of it until Jackie mentions something in passing one day about it.
guilt trips you into doing things for her all the time. “Do you remember that time you let me go outside and die in the snow?” and then “yeah, that’s what I thought.” when you roll your eyes and go do it.
thinking about Jackie’s emotions bleeding over onto you. Jackie’s always felt everything so strongly, and this only seems to get worse after she’s died. you can literally feel her longing so strongly that it’ll wake you up in the middle of the night, just to find Jackie staring at you with the softest little look. you aren’t sure how to feel about it at first, but it’s better than feeling her grief.
who’s going to tell the dead girl she can’t have a little crush after all? besides, it’s not like you’re uninterested: Jackie’s the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. it’s a strange dynamic, but it’s not like either of you have a lot of options out here.
just as possessive, even in death. starts getting incredibly jealous whenever you talk to someone who’s alive. Nat’s asking if you’ve seen her headband and the fucking door slams open against the wall. you weren’t even aware she could do something like that. you can feel her eyes burning a hole into the back of your head as the whole room starts to get cold if anyone goes near you besides Shauna.
she always tries to touch you, but most of the time you can’t feel it. the only time you can is when she gets particularly emotional. a hand closing around your wrist and almost pulling you away when she gets particularly jealous about something, a finger brushing away your tears when you can’t help but cry, etc.
Jackie can’t really do much else, so she resorts to a lot of compliments. she compliments your three layers of random shirts like it was an actual fashion choice, and you finally have to draw the line. just thinking about Jackie complimenting you and then sitting cross-legged in front of you like “and now me,” all expectant.
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fully inspired by this post by @rooksunday. Fox can never have a calm day, can he?
Cody is already in the process of ripping his hair out when Fox runs in.
Quite literally runs. It is for the mere laws of physics that he hadn't gone through the door, though Cody thinks that it had been really close to happening anyway with how fast Fox barges in.
"Cody!" Fox yells. Very loudly, even though he is already at Cody's desk, almost going through it too. He slams his hands on the edge of the desk to stop himself, and he almost careens over the desk with the sudden stop. He manages to stop before it, but is now bent halfway over the desk, and is right at Cody's face. "Cody!"
"I heard you the first time", Cody says, grimacing at the volume. "What is it?"
Perhaps he should be worried. Fox looks like he is going to explode at any second, with his eyes wide and his breathing erratic. His new, nice clothes are very ruffled, most likely from running, and his fancy new cape is only partially clasped. It is not a state Cody has ever seen Fox. His meticulous, top-of-his-class brother, who always had even the seams of clothes in place.
"How did this happen?" Fox asks. "How?"
Alright, he should be worried. Fox is never cryptid. Always blunt and to the point, sometimes even too much, the little prick.
"How did what happen?" Cody asks. He is up from his chair now, and making it to the other side of the desk. "Fox, breathe a little."
Fox does breathe. He takes in a deep gulp of air, and looks at Cody like Cody is the one asking stupid and cryptid questions.
"The marriage!" Fox yells. "How did it happen?"
Now Cody is even more confused and concerned. Is there something wrong? The new Chancellor had seemed so nice, and Fox had been friendly with him until now. Had it all been a ruse? Had Cody, while being overwhelmed with everything, managed to get his little brother married to some kind of monster, who had only now revealed his true colours?
No, that would not stand. Cody needs to know exactly what's going on, right now.
"Fox", Cody grabs him by the shoulders. "What is going on? Are you alright?"
Fox doesn't look hurt, thank the gods, but he is still out of breath and looking at Cody with his eyes blown huge. Then again, they had all been trained to be able to sustain various injuries, so Cody would have to make sure-
Fox blinks, and then laughs, borderline hysterically.
"Am I alright?" He asks. "Am I alright? No! No, I am not! And I need you to answer my question! How did this happen? How did this whole disaster even go through?"
Cody tries not to be frustrated at not getting any answers out of Fox. He breathes in deep himself. He needs to stay calm, since Fox, for the first time ever, is not.
"I'm sorry", he says. "For putting you through it. I never should've. I-"
Fox grabs him by the shoulders as well, almost knocking Cody's hands away.
"Shut the hell up", he is suddenly snarling. "I don't care, I just need to know who authorised it."
"I did." Cody is...more confused about what is going on, now. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologising", Fox says. "Who else? Who else was approving with this?"
"The Chancellor and the Queen of Alderaan", Cody answers. The Chancellor, of course, Cody had done his negotiations with the man, but he had heard that the Queen had to authorise the whole marriage as well. It had sounded logical, as the Chancellor had been the former Senator of Alderaan, and thus still representing the whole system as well-
Fox starts laughing again. He lets go off Cody and puts his head in his hands, which makes the laughing sound more like he is crying.
"Fox", Cody shakes him a little. "Fox'ika. What's wrong?"
"The Queen of Alderaan authorised the marriage between me and the Chancellor", Fox mumbles against his hands.
"Yes?" Cody is seriously starting to feel like he has missed something big.
"The Queen of Alderaan", Fox repeats, "authorised my marriage with Chancellor Organa of Alderaan."
"Yes." Cody needs to go to his files and look through them again-
"Her Majesty", Fox says, "Queen Breha Organa of Alderaan, authorised me to marry her husband."
Cody stares.
Fox lifts his head from his hands a bit to look at Cody.
"I need a drink", he says.
Cody nods. He needs a drink too.
He lets Fox sit on the comfier chair and takes up the other one for himself, after he has fetched a nice bottle of some bright red liquour from his cabinet. A gift, for the new leader of the Vode.
The label tells him it's Alderaanian liquour.
Cody pours Fox a full glass, and then hides the bottle.
#a few hours later a very concerned Bail arrives to Cody's office like HAVE YOU SEEN MY HUSBAND I MEAN YOUR BROTHER#Cody points to Fox who is still having a crisis but is now just drunk while having said crisis#they are going to have a serious talk#sw#tcw#Star Writing#snippets#my writing#Commander Cody#Commander Fox#bail/breha/fox
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