#i aint reading all that i have better things to do today

[theladyofbloodshed]

He isn’t fleshed out properly or touched on again really by Tamlin and Lucien because SJM isn’t a good writer.

You seem to think that SJM being a dogshit writer (which she very much is, I agree) is your ultimate gotcha to push your own flawed opinions and that's funny. There is a long list of things proving why SJM can't write to save her life but this isn't one of them lmao. Like you people really behave as if you're consuming fiction for the first and it's insane because aren't you an author yourself? How are you not aware of the fact that not every character is supposed to have a fleshed out backstory? There is a thing called a plot and there is a plot device. Some characters serve as the latter. Andras was exactly that. He served his purpose of kick-starting the story. But you so desperately want him to be someone greater than that just so you can dunk on Feyre.

The untapped potential to have a family waiting for their son to return home was wasted.

LoL like I said you wish this actually happened so you could use your fake outrage and pity for an irrelevant character to hate on one particular character.

About Clythia being a sadistic murderer, I admit I did not remember this detail.

despite his size, he looked like a wolf, moved like a wolf. Animal, I reassured myself. Just an animal.

Yeah no, you lot suffer from selective memory because Feyre had a feeling it was Fae but was never sure of it and thought of it as a wolf only.

And if it was indeed a faerie’s heart pounding under that fur, then good riddance. Good riddance, after all their kind had done to us. I wouldn’t risk this one later creeping into our village to slaughter and maim and torment. Let him die here and now. I’d be glad to end him.

And like I said, even if she was sure of it, it would still not make her the evil person you want her to be. Idc if you dislike Feyre, there's much to dislike about her I know but it's just entertaining to see you invent nonsense reasons to hate on her lol. Like it's hilarious that you love to talk about how SJM writing the "oppressed hating the oppressors" as a bad thing is wrong until it comes to actually applying this logic to a character you don't like then it's "it's not that deep omg!!". The hypocrisy and inconstancy in what moral values you place onto certain characters is just baffling.

[zyafics]

I love your fics 🫶🏾 do you have any recommendations

hi baby!! omg, thank you so much, and i definitely do have recs!

this isn't an exhaustive list, btw, these r just people i can think off the top of my head. i have a rec account where i reblog my fav fics and whatnot w reviews + commentary @zyafics-recs

@nadvs ONE OF THE BEST RAFE WRITERS, she is the reason why i got introduced into fanfic writing and the reason why i actually wrote today! i love all of her series and her entire masterlist has anything u could ever look for—from fluff, to smut, to angst. it's all there! personal favorites are cam girl and home before dark!

@itneverendshere MY PERSONAL FAVORITE WRITER AND MY ABSOLUTE LOVELY GIGI, i am her biggest fan (will fight u for this position 🔪) and whenever i feel down, or lacking motivation, she is the reason to help me get motivated! she's such a lovely person, and her prose, dialogues and descriptions are to die for. if u like my written fics, i say gigi and have pretty ~similar~ writing style. she also can have ANYTHING ur craving—from canonverse plots, to aus, to fluff, to smut, to angst, EVERYTHING! my personal favorites that got me invested into her work is her thornton!reader with rafe, the other side of paradise (maybank!reader and rafe, lowkey canon, lowkey not), and love you at your worst. also i requested a lot of hockey!rafe from her, so if you love athlete!rafe, she's definitely ur girl!!

@aliyahwritings my bABYGIRL FR—she currently has this series called the contracted heart, which is about model!reader and athlete!rafe and it's to die for. if you love banters—especially if you love witty banter back and forth—this is your girl. if any of you read the addicted series, and loved rose and connor, they lowkey mirror that dynamic. on top of her amazing dialogues/banters, she has such rich representation of desi!reader. like she isn't afraid of portraying explicitly BIPOC readers which i admire so much from her.

@whytheylosttheirminds okay listen, NAT has one of the richest descriptions of storytelling that evokes such a personal level to you. whenever i enter her storytelling, she has such details and beautiful imagery, i actually have to stop reading just to admire it. i'm still digesting her masterlist, but my personal recs are: blue sweater, snooze, and i remember everything!

@starkeysprincess one of the sweetest people on this platform, i absolutely devoured her kinktober fics, but one thing about shania is that she writes every scenario of rafe—from doctor, to handyman, to stepbrother, etc!—and she does it so well. her smut is so fun, and dynamic, especially with their dialogues, and it's so easy to digest her fics in one setting (be warned fr)

@erwinsvow ok i absolutely ADORE the way shea writes, ok?? like everything she puts out, i eat UP!! especially when she written her long fics, aint nothing better for me (toxic!rafe), all mine, bitchy!reader and rafe, and my heart and soul that i religiously reread every week got what u wanted <3

@ilyrafe one of my favorite writing pieces and introduction to analysis of rafe, is by gabi. she has this wonderful mini series (late night and early morning) that perfectly slows down the relationship of rafe and reader and the intensity of his character. if u wanna read more about how he sees the world, and why his character acts the way it does, gabi does is so successful. she also has a hitman!rafe currently in the progress, which i know just released a pt2, i am gonna to read it soon, promise!

@softspiderling okay ELLE HAS EVERYTHING!! she has smaus, to written works, to series, to oneshots, i'm obsessed with everything she puts out, especially because it's so intriguing and the way she writes just leaves me craving more. i would personally rec ocean blue eyes (smau), illicit affairs (best friends to fwb to lovers) and think you’re a genius (you drive me up the wall) <3

if u want more social media aus—

@ghostofwriting has one that is the reason why hb:l is alive today. kildare split is about a band au with rafe and reader and they had drama. and she's also currently writing one about biker!rafe and book influencer!reader, which is so fun, witty, and filled with drama. i absolutely adore kildare split, and it will always have a special place in my heart bc it's my first introduction to smaus <3

@sematarygirls ohmygod, i am currently obsessed with salt & secrets. it's actually magnificent, especially the graphics. the efforts sol puts into them is so detailed and telling, u can see it's made with love. but the PLOT!!! the way the story moves, the way it's a gossip site and reader is a huge instigator. this fun enemies-to-lovers feud between them (that i'm still wondering if the reason reader is targeting rafe means something more 🤨) and the COMMENTS AND BANTERS!! reader is so hilarious. all the characters are so funny and witty, it's definitely something to read to soothe the angst and tension from hb:l LOL 💘

@rafeskai i'm also currently reading this smau about reader and rafe having a little thing before she moved away for college, and she came back! it's so interesting, especially because kai mixes multimedia and written work in one place, so u get to experienced both!

lastly, this is for sarah cameron specifically, but @spellewrites! she's currently working on this smau about sarah cameron and f!reader and i'm excited to see how it goes, especially because sarah is dating(?) topper, reader's brother.

[8ttached]

Nsfw of fontaine completely shutting down reader if she tried to get sassy with him keeps me up at night 😓😓 also ur fics are so good wtf im glad i stumbled on ur account

The way i was writing this around the time you sent this anon omg 

(ALSO FIRST ANON OMG??? AND THANK YOU YOU'RE SO SWEETTT!!)

Sassy fontaine (pt 2? ( reader is the one being sassy))

Fontaine ! sassy blk woman 

Warnings: smut (18+)

Author note: This is my first (I'm lying second) time actually writing a full-blown smut omg I was literally giggling writing this but I hope yall enjoy this and don't think its cringy LOLL (also this isnt proof read sorryyyy)

Word count: 877

You were irritated that day, pissed off even. Everything wasnt going the way you wanted and the last thing you needed was a nigga in your ear, fontaine. 

You were huffing and puffing around the apartment and ended up bumping into Fontaine but you were so pissed you didn't apologize in fact, you didnt say shit. “damn, excuse me” fontaine says, only for you to continue on your bs. Fontaine frowns his eyebrows noticing you mumbling around the house and aggressively doing house chores. “What's going on wit’chu?” fontaine questions which only annoyed you more. “Nun” you give him the cold shoulder. “Whatchu mean nun, There sum clearly wrong wit’chu if you bump into me that hard.” he says, tilting his head. “I mean nun ‘taine, i got shit to do, and id appretiate it if you weren't on my ass about sum as lil as that.” you remarked. You walked away with the large bin full of clothes only for fontaine to walk in front of you. “What nigga” you shrug your shoulders, irritated at the fact that Fontaine was stopping you from doing the shit you had to do. He smacks his lips “whats up with you today bruh.” he looks you up and down. 

“Nun now move-”

“I aint moving till you tell me whats up.”

“You better move fontaine i aint playin”

“Fix your attitude”

“Fuck you, who do you think you is, you aint nobody” “I said fix your fucking attitude.” he says, now face to face with you

“Or what nigga.”

Were the last words you said before your throat got stuffed with your boyfirends dick. 

“Uh huh, just like that.” You notice fontaine looking down at you, his grills shining as he slightly smiles at you and his pre cum n’ spit dripping down to your tits. “Talking all’dat shit when all yo ass needed was my dick is your mouth” you wanted to slap the shit outta him but the way he was fucking your mouth felt too good to care. “There ya go, pretty bitch” he bites his lips attempting to hold his groans at the sight of you looking up at him and stroking his dick.

 “Okay c’mere” he whispers, grabbing your throat and kissing you. You and fontaine kissed all the way till he pushed you onto the bed. “Spread ‘em legs fa'me ma” he mumbles and eagerly, you did. In no time fontaine impatiently did his work causing you to give out a heavy sigh.  

‘Fontaine...” you moaned out. Fontaine worked his tongue all over you like a starved man. His low-lidded eyes were addicted to the view of you losing your mind. He mumbles something to you but you can’t understand what he’s saying, you’re too caught up in the pleasure. Soon you were unconsciously griping his free forms while yelling his name. “Mhm lemme’know how good im making yo’pussy feel” Fontaine mumbles as he grips your thighs to your chest. “ ‘taine im cuming” you choked out which made him laugh against your thighs as you lost your mind

“Uh huh now sprea ‘dem legs” 

Fontaine was now kneeling in front of you taking his time as he took his shirt off. The sight alone could make you cum untouched. Before you could say anything Fontaine began to assault your neck leaving hickeys, bite marks, and drool all over your neck and collarbone. “Taine please, I need you” you beg. The teasing was making you needy and wetter. “Oh now you wanna open your mouth” he sighs. He slaps his dick on your clit which made you whimper and whine for something more, anything. “You gone have to open ya mouth if you want sum like you should have done earlier.” he says looking in your eye, waiting for you to tell him what you want. “Taine, i want you please” you sigh out. “ ‘m right here ma.” he examines your body and how needier and impatient you get. “I need you dick Fontaine please!” and how could he say no to that?

And after your 2 orgasms rushed over you, it was getting too much. 

“Taine, i cant-”

 “yeah you can”

The pleasure hurt so good, you bit your lip attempting to hold back your noise but Fontaine noticed, gripping your face, making sure you felt every single deep, hard stroke. “c’on ma, what happened to that mouth of yours?” all you could do what whimper as another orgasm was coming. “All you gotta do is lemme know what you need baby, yknow i got you ma.” his reassurance following him roughly rubbing your clit made you arch for more. “yeah , yknow what to do” he bites his lips, his shiny gold grills glistening. You grip his arm as your orgasm erupts. “Oh fuckk” was the last thing you said before you saw stars and heard Fontaine groans as he came on your stomach. 

“You ight?” he chuckles. “Mhm” you sigh. “rest, imma finish up everything” he kisses your forehead as he covers you with a blanket. “You sure taine? I can finish after i take this breather” he lightly smiles. “Yeah ma, just know yo ass gonna tell me what had you all antsy n shit.” Fontaine says as he walks out of the room. 

[kkcauseway]

Oh Baby P3

Chapter summary: The end is nigh, what you've been waiting for is finally here. Baby is coming! and you have the best support, Joel really is so good at everything he does. It's a hard labour but Joel helps you through it in the best possible way. Chapter warnings and content: Tw-childbirth, pregnancy, waters breaking. Breast/nipple play, I guess pregnancy kink kinda? Unprotected PinV, Caring!Joel, Parent!Joel. Joel being the best girl dad. Events of after the outbreak. Word count: 6.6K Authors note: Part three we made it! The end of an era eeek! i really hope you enjoy reading this!

Series Masterlist I Main Masterlist

You’re sat up in bed when Joel finally wakes. Its only six, but it’s like he can sense when something isn’t right. You’ve been awake for a while, but he must’ve felt your presence leave the room to make the tea or felt as you slipped back into bed but didn’t get yourself comfortable next to him again.

“You okay baby?” he questions sleepily on seeing that you’re sat up in bed with a cup of herbal tea, visibly tired, but unable to sleep.

“She’s awake so y’know what that means” you groan stroking your stomach with one hand when your back spasms. “And of course, I’ve been having the nightly occurrence of pains” you roll your eyes.

“Oh, y’gonna be okay today?” he sits up studying you.

“Yeah” you reach out to stroke his cheek, “I’m more than-”  

“Used to them by now” he finishes for you. “Yeah, I know baby I just hate you bein’ like this. Y’know this patrol today, I don’t have to go, Tommy and Maria both said I didn’t need to do anymore especially with how you’ve been.”

You chuckle, “I know Joel, but you’ve also been losing your mind being cooped up, don’t try, and lie and say you haven’t, cus you have. I’ll have Ellie with me all day! You’ll be back before you even realise you’ve gone, trust me I’ll be okay, so stop worrying.” You chuckle, but then wince the laughing causing your boobs to bounce. “Fuck my boobs are really sore” you whine.

And Joel knows exactly what that means he needs to do. In about one of the only ways, he can make you feel better.

He sits up in an instant. Dirty smirk on his face. “They just need a lil bit of lovin’ s’all don’t they?” So, he bends to draw his tongue over your nipple twirling it round and round before biting softly, he then does the same on the other.

He begins to massage them in his warm large palms causing you to moan and writhe. “Needy again aint yah baby? Never known someone who needs to fuck so often.” He chuckles taking one hand away to find its way to your core. Stroking his fingers through the slick of your wet cunt before spreading it to you clit and circling. Setting a pace that has you nearing release almost instantly.

“Mmm Joel” you whimper.

“Such a good girl, I’ll make you feel good don’t worry” he squeezes your breasts harder. Taking them back into his mouth as he puts more pressure on your clit, whilst shoving a finger in and out of your tight hole.

“Ugh, g- gonna come Joel.”

“S’it good girl give it t’me!” he demands into your breast, not letting up his pace.

You lose yourself after hearing his gruff voice once more. His ability to make you feel things you never thought you’d be able to leaves you forever wanting. So really, it’s his fault you wana fuck all the time.

“Fuck me” you whisper when his fingers eventually leave your core. Still shaking post orgasm. Your whole body already begging to be filled once more.

“Yeah? S’that what y’need?”

“Yeah” you whisper.

He helps you to lie on your side then before slotting in behind you lifting your thigh ever so slightly as he aims himself at your aching cunt. He pushes in all the way on one agonising thrust. Bringing a hand round to touch your breasts once more “I’ll make you feel better baby.” He whispers into your ear as he begins to move.

“Ugh Joel” you moan.

“Come on baby know you’ve got another one in there for me.” He coaxes moving slowly within you holding you tight as he finds a new, deeper angle.

🩷

Once satisfied Joel then helps you to get ready for the day. It’s Tuesday and as arranged you and Ellie are watching Ted so Maria can go to her important council meeting and of course as per, Joel and Tommy are out on a patrol. The pains you had through the night every so often left you completely restless. You definitely feel as though they’re different, even if it’s only a slight difference. Looking after Ted will mean you have your hands full, you’re already glad of the distraction and it’s not even begun.

On his insistence Joel slowly walks you over to Tommy and Maria’s. Not satisfied until you’re content in the house. There’s no sign of Ellie when you first arrive but it’s not long until she knocks. “Sorry overslept” she utters out of breath when Joel opens the door to her.

With Ellie as your personal ‘aide’ for the day, him and Tommy leave for their patrol and then it isn’t long till Maria goes to meet the council. Explaining they’re determining someone’s fate, on if they get to stay in Jackson or not after an incident on a previous patrol.

🩷

You lap up every second of your nephews company. Enjoying him being crazy till he tires himself out and then all warm and snuggly.

You’re snuggling with Ted on the sofa after having some lunch. Ellie offering to wash up. He’s curls up round your bump, his head resting against your chest as he watches a cartoon. He’s sleepy but fighting it. You can’t wait to do this with your own baby.

“Heyyy!” Ted suddenly shouts lifting his head to look down at your stomach.

“What’s up Teddy?”

“The baby kickeded me!”

You laugh “They’re just sayin’ hi! They know that their cousin Teddy is close.” You stroke your belly, and he follows the pattern you draw with his own palm. Content for a second until his crazy three-year-old mind begins whirring again.

“Why am I the baby’s cos-un?” he questions looking at you.

“Why are you the baby’s cousin?”

“Yah!”

“Well remember I told you this before, your daddy and Uncle Joel are brothers, aren’t they?”

He nods “yeah, I love my Uncle Joel and my daddy, they’re the bestest!”

“Yeah, they are huh? Well, they are brothers and you’re daddy’s baby aren’t you and then this baby is Uncle Joel’s baby. So that makes you and this baby cousins.”

“Is it fun?”

“Fun being a cousin?”

He nods looking to you curiously.

“Oh yes, so much fun! When I was your age, I loved my cousins more than anyone else in the whole wide world! We had weekends where we used to make blanket forts and eat loads of sweets!”

“Yay! I’m so ‘sited! I want the baby to come now! Can they come now?” he looks to the bump once more.

“They’ll come soon don’t worry, but right now they want a snack! Do you want one too?”

“Yes peaseeee!” you smile at one another then before going on a mission to find food.

🩷

Throughout the day you notice the pains you have seem to be slightly different, but you’re so distracted running around after Ted that you don’t take too much notice. It’s always in the back of your mind though that this could potentially be ‘it’, and it’s an exciting prospect.

The day is over before you know it and with Maria arriving back, you tell Ellie she can go and meet Dina if she wants, which of course she does. She jumps at the chance. Anyone would think she hates your company, but then you remember what it felt like to be young and in love-which she definitely is (even if she wont admit it to you), and so you can’t blame her for the way she behaves.

With Ted finally down for a nap you get started on cooking with Maria’s help. Getting some lovely food ready for your boys for when they get back from their exhausting day on patrol. You find this to be the best opportunity to finally relay your feelings to Maria.

“Maria, I think there’s a chance I could be in labour? Maybe I’m not sure. How did you know you were in labour?”

“What? Why are you thinking that?” she startles. “And my waters broke it all started there for me, but not everyone’s waters break right away.”

“Well, these pains today are definitely seeming to be different. Only a little, but they seem to be in more of a pattern too. And they’ve never been in a pattern before.”

“Oh, how exciting! It might be especially if you say there’s more of a pattern.”

“Guess we will have to wait and see huh?” you giggle so excited at the thought it could be.

You leave Maria to go to the bathroom a short while later, with a real sudden urge to go, but stop in your tracks along the way, not even making it out of the kitchen. You feel something trickle and find yourself gripping your stomach.

“Maria!?” it comes out squeaky.

“Yeah?” she turns from the stove to look at you. “What’s wrong, what’s up?”

“How long till the guys get back?”

“Erm only about an hour or so now why?” she looks to her watch then back to you.

“I think my water might have just broke.”

“What really are you sure? You, okay?” she’s quick to be at your side walking you over to a chair and helps you to sit.

“Yeah, I think so. Like I said I’ve had pains off and on all day and I knew they felt different to my usual but of course I wasn’t sure, although it was in the back of my mind, but this now I can feel it leaking out of me. Oh God this is actually happening.” You laugh. Finding yourself not panicking, but everything seems to be hitting you at once and you can’t seem to stop talking. Always one for nervous chatter.

“Okay just take a breath!” Maria laughs “Are you okay? You need anything?”

“I’m fine, excited, nervous” you laugh. “I’m gonna, ouch!” you moan briefly feeling a spasm in your back. “I’m gonna go put a pad on, cus otherwise this chairs gonna get all wet, I’ll be back” you wink.

Maria helps you to stand holding you when your back spasms again.

It’s whilst you’re in the bathroom that you have your first proper contraction. You sway your body side to side as you breathe softly, rubbing at your hardening stomach. You can’t believe it’s finally happening. That the day is finally here after waiting and praying for so long, you can’t wait to finally meet your baby. It makes you smile. You’re at a point in your life that you always dreamed of but never though would happen. Especially with adding the end of the world into the mix. You’ve never ever been happier.

After sorting yourself out you walk back to the kitchen smiling at Maria upon entry.

“It’s definitely happening, had a proper contraction in the bathroom.”

“Amazing… Man, it makes me want another one so badly! Think Ted would love a little brother or sister, don’t you? I’ve radioed down, they’re only 30 minutes out so won’t be long, don’t worry I didn’t say why I was asking would give Joel a heart attack if I did” she chuckles. “But we’ll keep an eye on you, call for Jen if we need her, if not, let’s get some food in you and then you and Joel can go to the clinic afterwards, okay? Unless you feel like you need to go now, if you do we’ll go I’ll drop Ted with Ellie at Dina’s?”

“No honestly, I’m fine for now, the second we need to go, we’ll go. I’m starving though, can’t wait to eat!” you giggle.

“That’s good you’ll need all the strength you can get, so a big meal will work wonders. You just stay comfy here I’ll finish the food.” She smiles at you rubbing your shoulder.

🩷

Dinner is served just in time for when the boys make it home. Ted is now awake from his nap, being fed by his mother as Tommy strides in walking straight over to her to give her a kiss. “Hey Sugar.”

“Hey Babe.” She utters against his lips.

You quickly stand to go and find Joel, whose by the door taking off his boots.

“Joel” you utter softly.

“Hey Darlin’.” Evident relief in his face upon seeing you after a long day.

“Hope you’re feeling brave.”

“What, why?”

“My water broke.”

“What?”

“My water broke not that long ago.”

“Shit” he jumps up “Do we not need to-.”

“No not yet” you cut him off. “Second we need to go to the clinic we’ll go. I just don’t want to be in there for any longer than I need to.”

“Okay baby, whatever you wana do, you promise me you’re, okay?” he pulls you in for a hug.

“Contractions are about 15 minutes apart roughly me and Maria have been working out. It’s obviously going to be a long labour and they hurt, but I’m fine. Very, very glad to have you home though” you kiss him.

“My gorgeous baby, I love you.” He utters pulling away briefly before kissing you again even harder. “Still can’t believe you’re makin’ me a daddy again.”

“Well believe it” you whisper. “Come on lets go eat before it gets cold.” You smile as he puts his arm round you as you begin walking back.

“Fuck...” you suddenly whimper. Your whole-body tensing and you seek Joel instantly. Turning your body into him as you moan through the pain.

“You got this girl” he holds you close as you moan through the pain, “just remember to breathe” he coaxes.

When the pain depletes you stand and look him in the eye “They aren’t that bad yet, I’m okay I promise” you smile as he smiles back at you. He places a delicate kiss to your forehead as you close your eyes from the feeling. Opting to wrap his arm back around your waist as you continue walking into the room, you note how worried he seems already.

“Jeez y'look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Tommy jests upon seeing his brother.

“No ghosts, I just told him my water broke!” You announce excitedly.

Instantly Tommy’s face changes, to an expression identical to that of his older brothers. Just as you expected.

“Exactly brother.” Joel laughs. “Now do y’get it.”

“Man, family’s gonna be expandin’ again, can’t wait!” Tommy mutters big smile on his face before he begins eating.

“Me too” You reply happily sitting at the table with the help of Joel.

“Unc Joe, the baby kickeded me today!” Ted announces when Joel takes his seat.

He gasps dramatically “did they now?”

“Uhu” He nods.

Joel chuckles lightly. “I’ll make sure to tell her off” he winks to his nephew who tries to wink back but just blinks.

“Hey where’s Ellie?” Joel interrupts the silence not long later.

“I’m surprised it took you so long to notice haha, where d’you think?”.

“Need I ask, they’re obsessed with one another I swear” he shakes his head laughing.

About an hour after Joel makes it home it’s clear it’s time for you to go to the clinic. Contractions now around ten minutes apart, but with your waters already broke you decide rather to be safe than sorry. So, you pack up what you need and make the journey over.

🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷

Two hours after arriving:

“Fuck it hurts Joel!” you moan.

“I know Baby, I know, you just keep going, you’re doing so good.” He pushes on your back as you lean over the bed.

You breathe in and out the way you’d read to in the preparing for childbirth books Joel had found on one of his patrols.

“Good you got this Baby; y’know exactly what you’re doing.”

“I’m just so tired Joel” you whimper letting out a long sad sigh through the pain “why won’t she just come out!”

“She’s comin’, I promise she’s comin’, just taking her sweet time; wants to make an entrance. Come on you’re her mama after all, she’s gotta at least try t’be as dramatic as you.”

You laugh, Joel actually manages to make you laugh as the pain finally beginning to subside.

“God help us if she’s like me” you jest rolling your eyes.

“Well, I for one hope she’s just like you, would love to have two of you around t’keep me company.”

“Yeah, then add Ellie into the mix, you’re gonna have your fuckin’ hands full Miller!” you laugh.

“Can’t wait” he mumbles instantly. And boy does he mean it. His life will be complete once he has his three girls, even if one of them is looking down on him rather than living life with him.

With the pain now completely subsided you stand up straight, leaning back against Joel’s chest as he cuddles you tighter to him with the squeeze of his arm.

You rub a hand over your protruding stomach.

“God I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Me too baby, me too.” Joel brings his right hand to your stomach and strokes, his left arm still holding your chest to squeeze you ever closer to him.

“She’s our biggest blessin’ ‘sides Ellie, and of course my Sarah, ain’t never been more excited than when she was born, even if I was shittin’ myself. I can’t wait t’do it all again.”

Joel openly talks about Sarah to you now, it took a while, but he always tells you there’s no one he trusts more than you, and you see Sarah as your daughter too now in a way, never having had the pleasure of meeting her, seeing her gorgeous face in person breaks your heart; you keep the picture he has of him and her out on display constantly. But God you know just how much Joel cherished every single second of fatherhood; that girl never wanted for anything. It makes you smile knowing this baby is going to have the world’s greatest dad.

“Me too I can’t wait. Man I can’t believe we’ve finally made it here.” You finally add placing one of your palms over Joel’s knuckles and you both just stand there. Stroking your bump. Embracing the last moments before the bump is gone and the baby is here. A whole new future awaits.

Joel rests his chin on your shoulder, eventually talking softly into your ear. “Shall we get you comfy before it’s time to go again? Or are you okay stayin’ like this Baby?”

“Erm, I think I’ll get back on the bed actually, yeah. If I sit, will you sit with me, hold me? You’re about the only thing keeping me sane right now.” You laugh before you look at him, your beautiful eye gleam that he fell in love with still evident, even though you’ve been doing this for hours.

He smiles “Course. You know I will darlin’.” He kisses the tip of your nose.

He then helps you to climb back onto the clinic bed and with you sitting in a somewhat comfortable position he toes off his boots and climbs to sit behind you, he spreads his legs to make room so you can get yourself comfortable; head resting on his chest, hands stroking your belly. Joel begins to play with your hair, gently tickling your scalp with his fingertips.

It’s silent for a moment. So comfortable.

“Don’t you think it’s crazy that we made her. That she’s a part o’us?” you utter softly; content.

“I know it’s the craziest thing, thought the exact same with Sarah, n’when I held her for the first time and her eyes looked up at me it’s like she recognised I was part o’her. And I just couldn’t believe I made her; well partly. That she came from me.”

“She was so lucky to have had a daddy like you.”

“Think you mean, I was lucky to have her. She was absolutely perfect. The love of my life. I’d never known love like it, didn’t know my heart could hurt that much with this need to protect, to love. She was my babygirl, will always be my first and she was my entire world. Just like you are, and Ellie is andddd” he reaches down to your belly poking it, “this girl is.”

You chuckle lightly.

“What we gonna call her?” You question as it goes silent once more.

“I don’t know darlin’ you got any ideas?”

You sigh solemnly “None, yet.”

“Well let’s see her face first, I’m sure when we see her it’ll click.”

“Yeah, I hope so, or maybe Ellie could help pick?”

“I love that idea” he chuckles lightly.

“I can’t wait to- ffff - fuck- holy shit- ugh Joel!” you begin to curl into yourself as the pain waves over you.

“Okay babygirl, you’re okay just breathe, breathe, good girl. I got you; I got you” Joel strokes your cheek with one hand the other hand being squeezed by yours.

“Fuck- Joel it really hurts. Holy Fuck!”

Maria walks in then with Jen the midwife of Jackson following closely behind, placing on a fresh pair of gloves; obviously coming back to check you once more. Maria observes how you’re curled into Joel. Screaming in agony.

“Oh dear!” Maria says softly as she runs to your side grabbing your other hand and letting you squeeze.

“How we doin’?” Jen questions.

“It hurts so much, fuck Jen! How have some people here done this like five fuckin’ times… fuckin’ lunatics!”

That raises a laugh from everybody.

“I know honey I know, it’s so worth it though I promise.” Maria adds.

“Hey, look at me sweetie” Jen asks, and you look up at her the pain still ripping through you. “Just remember the breathing exercises I told you about, okay? Big breath in, hold for four, then out.”

You nod before copying her, eyes watering.

“That’s it, goooood, see you know what to do. You’re a fighter mama.” She smiles at you in praise.

It takes a minute or two longer for you to fully recover from the pain. When you finally spread back out alleviating some of the pressure in your back, you look to Maria with a pained smile as Joel continues to caress your belly.

“I can examine you again now if you’d like, see how you’ve progressed?” Jen suggests.

“Yeah, okay please, I just need her out” you whimper.

She nods makes her way over to you after washing her hands thoroughly but quickly, wanting to ensure the examination is over before you’re in pain again, asking you to put your heels to your bottom, legs nice and wide apart. You do so swiftly and take hold of Joel’s hands.

“Just some slight pressure okay just take a breath for me.”

You wince as she checks you. Gripping Joel’s hands in your own tight.

“Okay good eight centimetres look at you go girl! Racing through! Won’t be too much longer now okay.���

“Oh, thank God!” you cry.

“Nearly there!” Maria praises before adding “Oh by the way, I just came back in to let you know Ellie’s right outside, she’s there with Dina.” You follow her finger as she points, looking through the small window in the door and find Ellie and Dina both pacing outside “They’re both refusing to leave. Ellie asked if she could come and see you, I said I’d ask you?” Maria continues.

“Yeah, course she can come in, she doesn’t have to ask!”

Maria nods at you with a smile before she walks back outside of the room and fetches Ellie, you watch through the small door window how Ellie gives Dina a kiss on the lips before parting from her. You shift slightly on Joel’s chest in as much as an effort as you can to look up at him.

“So, they’re an actual thing now- finally?”

He looks down at you a smile on his face as he begins to caress your cheek.

“I don’t know baby, but they look pretty cosy to me.”

“I hope so, Ellie deserves to be happy. Dina’s so good for her; I think they complete each other”

“She does darlin’ you’re right. And yeah, I agree Ellie seems much calmer with Dina. If that’s at all possible.” He chuckles before he kisses the top of your head.

With Dina and Ellie parted, she walks in, and comes straight to give you a hug.

“Hey Els, you okay?” You kiss the top of her head before she pulls away shocked.

“Why are you asking if I’m okay? Course I am, you’re getting ready to push an entire human out of” she gestures to between your legs. “How the fuck are you?”

“Well Joel’s a pretty good help. So that’s something, but fuck it hurts.” You half laugh half moan.

You try your best not to swear in front of Ellie but a whole human is about to rip itself from your body and if that doesn’t give you a free pass, well then nothing does…

“You best be helping her out properly Dino? Don’t wana hear no reports that you’ve been slacking on the job” Ellie looks to Joel then, pointing her finger.

“Dino?” he quizzes. “That’s new” he chuckles.

“Yeah, well you know being born during the Mesozoic era kinda comes with the nickname.” She says giving a nonchalant shrug.

You laugh then, but you’re the only one, Joel’s face remains straight, emotionally untouched. There’s no reaction whatsoever. Eventually he urges “Hmmm, remind me to bring that back up later.” face still unreadable, but it’s clear he’s joking around.

“Sure thing old man” she winks.

“Enough with the old, s’like you wana send me to an early grave.” He sniggers lightly the seriousness forgotten.

“Yes sir” she salutes. “And may I just add I do not want to do that, you might be old but you’re gonna live forever, please and thank-you.” She smiles and Joel salutes her back understanding and accepting of her demands, like he’d ever leave his girls!

She reaches for your belly then, slowly, and gently caressing it, as she takes a seat on the stool next to the bed.

“So, how’s my little sister doin?”

“Yeah, she’s good, planned her escape well, just a shame I’m paying the price in the way I am” you sigh.

“She’s doing great, they’re both doing great” Jen adds in from the side lines with a smile looking over her shoulder briefly before focusing back on prepping everything ready in the room.

“Hey anyway,” Ellie begins, cheeky smile on her face as she chuckles lightly “you chose to get in this mess, so you gotta get back out of it. Not that I wana think about how you got into this situation… ew” she grimaces.

“Well, she’s got you there hasn’t she Darlin’?” Joel adds softly.

“Yeah, I know, but hey you can’t say you aren’t happy we chose this” you tap her lightly.

“Definitely, I’m super happy can’t wait!” Ellie almost bursts as she replies.

“Exactly!” you shout back.

You wince as another pain begins to take over. Rather than curling into yourself this time you begin to straighten yourself out, sitting upright in your place on the bed. Allowing your upper body to rock slightly. Joel sits up with you adjusting so he can properly access your shoulders as he begins to rub. You scream as the pain rips through you, Ellie grabs your hand, and you squeeze “ahhh fuck fuck fuck fuck” she’s quick to add. “Sorry!” you manage to moan back through gritted teeth.

You pant and pant as your body feels paralysed from the pain. It seems to go on and on, and it leaves you traumatised. Beads of sweat run down your forehead and your eyes well with more fresh tears.

When it eventually begins to ease you drop back against Joel, completely and utterly exhausted. Finally Letting go of Ellie’s hand.

Joel shushes you as you weep quietly; you take quick deep breaths.

“Fuck Joel, I just want her out!” you cry.

“Soon babygirl I promise soon.”

You then look at Ellie, “I’m so sorry El, I didn’t meant to hurt you.” That makes you cry even more. You really didn’t mean to squeeze so hard; she didn’t deserve that.

Fuck your spiralling. Everyone knows you had no intention of hurting anyone.

“You didn’t hurt me, just didn’t realise you could grip so hard I was shocked, you’re even more badass than I thought” she responds.

All four of you laugh then.

🩷🤍🩷🤍🩷

2 hours later

Ellie is gone, shooed away when every other word of the sentences you were stringing together became expletives. The pain unbearable and you don’t want Ellie to be witness to you in this state. Maria has gone back home to her beautiful family showing her face for support a few times before you begged for her to go on home to be the mama she deserves to be, rather than having to be witness to this. It’s just you and Joel. So utterly in love. So desperately in need for one another; to be close. Jen close at hand the whole time but it’s just you and Joel, in your love bubble. Nothing else in the world matters but this moment; cherishing your last moments together before the baby comes.

🩷

It’s on the next examination after a particular awful pain that you finally hear what you’ve been longing for “You can push, you’re there!” It’s music to your ears, you let out the biggest sigh of relief, as does Joel.

“Y’hear that garlin’?” he chuckles excitedly.

“She’s coming” you whisper panting hard.

“She is baby, she’s comin’!”

“Let me know when you have a pain sweetie and let’s get this show on the road! Soon as that pain hits start pushing into your bum. Don’t want any noise okay you focus all your energy on pushing down, getting this baby out.”

You nod smiling at her slightly still panting.

“It’s coming!” you shout breathing speeding up.

“Okay great sweetie listen to your body and just go with it, push this baby out let’s go!” she encourages.

“C’mon baby you got this!” Joel screams in encouragement from behind you. Still cradling you the way he has been for hours. His knees are bent as are yours your body fitting into the shape of him. He makes you feel safe, he makes you feel as though you have the energy to keep going even when you’re desperate to quit.

As the pain comes over full throttle you push giving it absolutely everything that you’ve got. It’s silent as you squeeze and squeeze. Face getting redder by the second, but you can feel what’s going on and it keeps you going, pushing till you’re desperate to take a breath.

“Good!” Jen shouts in praise. “Big breath in and go again if you can, let’s get their head out!”

And so, you do “Come on baby, doin’ so well m’so proud of you!” Joel encourages gripping his hands over your thighs tighter pushing your knees closer to your chest to help as you push, just as you’d requested.

The second push gets most of the head out and you give once more, not allowing yourself a rest till you know this babies head is free from your body. With one more all mighty, slightly noisy push, you gasp in relief as you feel the head pops out. Your whole body relaxes. You’re panting hard, beads of sweat swimming on your forehead. Joel releases his grip on your thighs in case you decide to move in any way.

“Well done, that was absolutely wonderful!” Jen adds rubbing your knee in praise. “Take some nice deep breaths for me now, wait for the next contraction okay, well done!”

“Can I feel her head?” You question looking into Jen’s eyes your vision blurred as tears threaten release.

“You don’t need to ask, they’re yours course you can” she smiles.

You quickly bring a hand between your legs, gripping your tiny babies head. “Is that hair?”

“Sure is!”

“Oh Joel, you need to feel her and all her hair.” You turn your head to the side as much as possible to try to gain eye contact with him.

He looks down at your sweaty face, the tired replaced with a newfound energy at knowing this is all almost over. “Can I?” he questions you. He’d absolutely love to, but only if you’re certain.

“Yeah” you whisper.

He manoeuvres himself slightly so he can reach over you without shifting you too much, coming to bring his hand to grasp his tiny new babies head.

“Oh” he gasps wetly.

“Doesn’t she feel beautiful” you utter quietly still panting.

“So beautiful” he whispers.

“Oh fuck” you whisper before beginning to pant, “I can feel it coming!” you suddenly shout, the next pain taking hold.

Joel is quick to remove his hand, sitting back in the bed and grabbing your thighs once more, this time your hands join his, willing your legs to be as open as possible to get this baby out promptly.

You push again feeling as the baby much more easily now begins to slide from your body. You quickly gasp between pushes.

“One more big, big push and baby will be here!” and that’s all you need to hear.

You push for a final time screaming the roof down with this one. Your body wills and the baby is out. And then it’s all over. Your body heaves, so relieved, so drained, so excited.

You’re quick to release your thighs along with Joel and you sit up, him following resting his chin on your shoulder as Jen hands you your screaming baby. You cradle them against your chest as they squirm and scream at their first look of their new world.

“Oh, she’s here, she’s here!” you cry. As Jen grabs a towel wiping the baby over as you hold them close.

“M’so proud of you” Joel mutters quietly allowing himself to release the tears he’d been holding.

“Oh, I know shhh” you hold them close to you willing the cry’s to settle down which they do quickly. “Good, shhhh there you go.” You move the baby to be cradled in your arms then; tiny body and face squishing into you as they’re already on a mission to try to find food.

“Guess we should confirm it’s definitely a girl huh?” Joel practically whispers.

You chuckle wetly slowly moving one of the cute bundles legs so you can check. Going into a fit of giggles with that you see.

“Well would y’look at that” Joel chuckles lightly. “Another daughter. How lucky am I!”

“My beautiful baby girl” you whisper to her crying.

“Daddy do you wana cut the cord?” Jen questions after a few minutes.

“Sure.” He quicks takes the scissors from her, and the cord is cut, she’s separate now, her own person.

“Lemme move baby so y’can lie down with her, okay?” You nod as he moves from behind you slowly on the bed helping you to lie back against the pillows. He stands at your side, cooing over his brand-new healthy, pink, content flesh and blood. His smile so wide it hurts.

“We’re just waiting on the placenta okay sweetie, I’m just gonna push on your belly a little, okay?” Jen asks but you’re not paying that much attention, besotted with your new daughter.

“Okay” you nod, wincing at first touch, jumping slightly from the pressure. “Jen wait a sec” and she stops instantly.

“You, okay?” she’s quick to ask.

“Yeah just” you turn to look at Joel. “Will you cuddle her daddy? Whilst we do this I just don’t wana hurt her if I flinch or something.”

“Music to my ears baby, gimme my girl, we need some daddy daughter time.” He grabs her gently ensuring she’s still wrapped in the blanket shushing her as she groans; but not before taking off his shirt so he can have some skin to skin contact with her, opting to grab another blanket to further wrap her as he holds her close.

He sits just for a moment with his newborn daughter as she looks to him, and he looks down on her studying the features of her father. It doesn’t take long for her to begin smacking her lips together, desperately needing food. Thankfully, the placenta has now been delivered and so Joel is quick to return his daughter to your chest once Jen has propped you up better with the pillows so nursing will be comfortable.

As soon as you take your daughter back from him, he’s there at hand to help you to ease your daughter into feeding at the breast. No help is needed from Jen as the child latches almost instantly. Guzzling away once a steady flow is being released. It isn’t without winces from you which keep making Joel jump, but you assure him it’s all because it’s new, you’re not in pain just in shock. You’ve grown and birthed an entire human. A human you’re now responsible for. And god she is gorgeous.

She’s out cold after a feed, lying against your chest snoring softly, you and Joel both can’t keep your hands off her.

Joel hears you sniffling softly, and it suddenly dawns on him that you’re crying.

“S’wrong baby? You in pain?” you can hear just how worried he is.

“No, no I just- hiccup- I just am so in love with her, and it’s making me cry and I can’t stop.”

He shushes you gently, kissing your temple “I know Baby she’s so beautiful. You did it! You did it so well, brought her safely into this world!”

“I can’t believe it’s over, after everything we went through.”

“It’s not over baby, this chapter might be, but we have so much now that’s only just starting. The beginning of so so much!”

“I know, I just I’m so happy and so excited… where’s Ellie, I miss her, and I want her to meet her sister?”

“Jen went to get her. I said don’t bother going to Tommy’s she will be with Dina” he chuckles lightly.

“Haha yep one thing about that girl is, she’s so predictable” you laugh back wetly.

🩷

It’s about twenty minutes later that Ellie is back, ecstatic at the prospect of meeting her sibling.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe that they’re actually here!” she exclaims as she first enters the room. She runs straight to your bedside admiring her sleeping sibling.

“Ellie, meet your sister” you utter softly.

“Sister? Damn you guys were actually right all along. Haha that’s brilliant. Oh, by the way I brought her this”, she offers over a blue t-rex stuffed toy. “Gotta make sure she’s as educated as me, start her early.”

“What she’s out of the womb maybe three hours and she’s already due a lesson?” Joel remarks.

“Hey, you can never start them too early!”

You chuckle.

“You wana hold her?” you question kissing your daughters head when she stirs slightly.

“Erm, I- I mean yeah I do, but I’m a bit out of practice with holding a baby.” She utters slightly embarrassed “I don’t know if it’s a good idea. I don’t wana drop her.”

“Trust me it’s second nature. Y’wont drop her.” Joel utters standing to allow Ellie to sit in his chair and he then begins to carefully pick your daughter up, shushing her gently when she grunts. She settles fast in her daddy’s arms. He bends slowly to lower his daughter into his older daughters hands. Releasing her only when he sees Ellies confidence shine through, and she settles into the comfortable feeling of having a baby in her arms.

Joel takes a step back coming to sit on the edge of the bed holding your hand as you both watch the sisters bond with one another. Eventually she opens her eyes and stares curiously at her big sister, Ellie brushes one of her fingers over her sisters eyebrows and smiles softly.

You stay like this for a while, content, happy, complete.

“So, what’s her name?” Ellie questions quietly.

“Well, this is the thing” Joel utters and Ellie looks to him curiously.

You add “we thought maybe you’d like to name her?”

“Me?” she’s shocked.

“Well why not?” Joel adds.

“Because I -I mean, seriously? You actually mean that?”

“We actually do” you nod.

“Well, there was actually a name that came to me the second I saw her, but I presumed you’d already have one picked out, so I didn’t say anything.”

“N’what name was that?” Joel quizzes

“To be fair it would fit for a boy too… so maybe I’d have thought it if it was a boy?” it’s clear she’s nervous to say.

“Just spit it out” Joel chuckles.

“Frankie” She announces “I think Frankie Miller sounds perfect.”

“Frankie” Joel whispers.

“Oh, Ellie, I love it.” You mumble trying to hold back tears “so beautiful.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. Well, there we go then! - Frankie Miller, welcome to the world!” she coos down at her sister whose eyes beam up at her. You and Joel are still transfixed on watching the two sisters bond.

“Welcome to the world Frankie baby” you whisper.

“Happy birthday babygirl” Joel utters smiling.

[lkfarrout]

What Happened Last Summer (18+) Chapter 2

This is the second installment of this series - read chapter 1 here :)

Chapter 3 and 4 out now!

“Get dressed, Poindexter, I’m buyin’ us breakfast.” Stan peered into Ford’s room as he fastened his belt. “Hurry, we’ll be late.”

“Late for breakfast?” Ford pulled on his red turtleneck. “They serve it all day, Stan – I promise they’re not gonna run out.”

“We’re meetin’ Kathy there, genius.”

Stanford’s face lit up. “Oh, so I finally get to meet the woman you’ve been sneaking off with every night?”

“Only if you can be in the car in the next five minutes.”

_____

Kathy found the conversation pleasant, and the pancakes even more so. They were nearly done with their meal when Ford commented, “Kathy, Stan tells me you taught school for 25 years?” He poured himself a second cup of coffee and began to stir in a little cream as Kathy replied in the affirmative. Ford continued with a chuckle, “Not exactly the type I would have paired Stanley with.”

Stan interrupted, “Yeah, ya probably couldn’t tell, but I wasn’t as big into school as Poindexter over here.” Ford nodded in agreement before taking a large swig of coffee.

Kathy patted Stan’s knee, “Oh, I could tell, Stan. You have a few learning disabilities.” Ford nearly spit out his drink trying to choke back a laugh.

Stan sighed, “It’s a good thing I like you, y’know.” He threw his arm behind her and let it rest on the back of the booth. “Let’s just hope the kids like ya as much as I do.”

“What time does the bus arrive?” Kathy inquired.

Ford answered, “In just a few hours. Are you coming with us to pick them up?”

“No, I’ve got some work to do today, and we decided it would be better to give them a few days to get settled back in first.”

“Mmhmm,” Stan agreed, “and once the motel closes on Monday, I thought we could all do minigolf or somethin’.”

“Oh!” Kathy looked at her watch, “Speaking of that, I’ve got to run! Thanks for breakfast. Great to meet you, Stanford.” She shook Ford’s hand, planted a kiss on Stan’s cheek, and left the twins alone in the booth. 

They picked at their food in silence for a moment.

“Stan?” Ford began.

“Hmm?”

“How much have you told her?”

Stan knew this conversation was coming – the question had hung in the air for all of breakfast. He set his utensils down and looked at Ford. “She knows about my criminal record, if that’s what you mean, and that I went by your name for a while.”

“Come on, Stan, you know what I’m talking about. The portal? Last summer? How much does she know?”

Stan slapped a handful of cash on the table and rose to his feet. “She knows nothing, Sixer, and that’s how it’s gonna stay.” He headed out the door and towards the car. Ford hurriedly followed and managed to get in his way. Stan tried to push past, but Ford grabbed him by the shoulders.

“Look, if you actually like this woman you have to tell her eventually. People are more accepting of the supernatural these days than you’d think.”

“Tell her what?” Stan shoved his brother off of his arms. “That I pushed you into a portal, took three decades to bring you back, nearly ended the world, and almost got the kids killed? She aint gonna leave over a few ghosts – she’ll leave over my mistakes.” 

“Stan… is that what you think happened?” Ford reached for his brother’s hand. “Stanley, you saved all of us. You saved me twice. Maybe your memory didn’t recover as well as I thought.”

Stan yanked his hand away. “My memory is just fine. I know you think I’m a hero, but I’m not sure she’ll see it that way.”

Ford conceded, stepping out Stan’s way as he stormed past to the car. They drove in silence for a few minutes, Stan’s knuckles white from gripping the wheel.

Finally, Ford cleared his throat. “Stanley, let the kids tell her.” Stan just side-eyed him as he continued, “If anyone can convince her you’re a hero, it’s them. And if she still doesn’t think so after that, she isn’t worth your time.”

[ryncorrect]

The Ssum 2 is actually... not that bad?

It has been 14-ish days since The Ssum: Love From Today (or The Ssum Season 2 if we must) was released. We were introduced to a new character named June, a blonde cutie pie that looks kinda sad (?) and fragile (?) and reminds me of Yoosung from the very first picture release. His voice and the way he talks even gives off Yoosung vibe even more. The spoiler stated, “He has ties to someone from Mystic Messenger,” and I was like, OKAY YOOSUNG????? Or perhaps a little far off, RIKA????? Then bam it’s actually—welp if you haven’t played it yet then I’ll let you find it out yourself lol

The revelation received mixed reaction from “wtf” to “WTF??” and I gotta admit I was one of them who was like,,,,, why,,,,, but it didn’t get to make me stop playing June route because:

- The writing in this season actually gets better

Teo route was boring af (spoiler alert?) boi kept doing part time jobs, we got two couple fights that didn’t even make sense, and somehow he ended up getting involved in a cult like ??????? I know they were trying to build a slow pacing relationship that lasted 200 days and added many “realistic” things but fam this aint it. And don’t get me started with the waiting time in between his chats, like 20+ minutes to wait for him climbing a hill, in a bed time chat? Nah fuk u man

Harry route.... god I hate don’t like it very much because 1) he doesn’t make it easy for me at all, 2) some of MC options in the chat are either gold-diggerish, or very jealous, or mean, or ignorant, and I don’t wanna be that kinda person

Don’t get me wrong, Teo and Harry are good characters and their designs are cool but the storytelling... is really all over the place

Since the writer from Cheritz’s previous games including Mysme is making a comeback in this season for June, playing his route now I can really see the difference. June started off falling in love instantly for MC and in only like 5 days I found out he has terminal disease. Nice. Tragic and angsty and very Mysme of you, June

BUT other than that, the conversation flows nicely, not too short and too long, the waiting time is reasonable, and I love how we get to talk about the planets thing in the chat; MC telling June to write in Gratitude Diary, June telling MC that he likes to read stuffs in Root of Desire, Piu-Piu advising us to look around the planets as we wait for June. It makes a huge difference for me. The whole meeting-a-fateful-stranger-in-some-random-app concept feels more realistic, and those planets are now part of the story and not just there to... exist. Though, it does make me wonder if June has this battery thing going on for him too, and if that’s why he doesn’t call us as often as Teo used to (but I’m still on day 10 and he’s currently trying to recover his health, so perhaps he probably just doesn’t get the energy and time to call us often lolol)

AND I KINDA LIKE PIU-PIU HERE. It feels... useful and friendly now. Piu-Piu in Teo route feels like a mean sassy bird and Piu-Piu in Harry route is just weird and likes to invade people’s privacy

- June having ties with Mysme character

Yes, this is also another reason I keep playing. Finding out that this new lovable character has a relationship with one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite games? I’m sold. I don’t care if this is just some way of Cheritz to get Mysme players into The Ssum. They have the right to do so—I mean it’s their game??? Some people are also saying that Cheritz should just release another contents for Mysme rather than doing this with The Ssum, and I think that’s valid. But Mysme has been running for years already, and keeping an otome game around for this long must be very hard. Releasing another content for Mysme means that Cheritz must gather their old writers, old artists, and old voice actors and perhaps they don’t have the resources to do so

Ofc this reason might not be true and Cherits just simply doesn’t want to work on Mysme anymore, and that’s their decision I’d like to respect

Also, if Teo and Harry made me miss Mysme because of their poor writing, June here actually makes me want to play Mysme again because he’s related to ***** and it’s fun being able to see ***** from different perspective

Moreover I’d rather be a gf of June who has half-brother (oops) from Mysme than being Zen’s ex. Wtf was that

And who knows? Maybe we will get another chara who’s related to V next????? Idk tho it might be too much of a stretch but I’m not gonna complain lol

- Cheritz is trying their very best

Them using AI art is wrong, and they have addressed that issue so I won’t repeat it here. I just wanna acknowledge their effort in making a game we would enjoy. They're pretty fast in handling and responding to our complaints, they still give us some battery freebies in the game so people who can't afford batteries or subscription can save them to play, and tbh you don't have to purchase every paid option in the chat too (I know I don't). Some players also share the paid pictures online, so you can decide to pay just for the pictures you wanna keep. We have a friendly and helpful community ;_;

The subscription price is still too much for many players and I myself can’t afford it every month because I have a family to feed, but I try to understand that in the end Cheritz is still an independent company that has to make profit. They have to pay rent, their employees, and people who work with them. I encourage people who can afford to keep supporting them, and those who can’t, I’m sure Cheritz appreciates our support and feedback just as much!

In conclusion, I just love them and I hope they keep up with the hard work

I want to say much more tbh but I’m kinda tired so now I’ll get back to work—while waiting for June for our lunch chat

[austinsastrology8991]

> Issues I have with you/occult / world < *long post* do not read if you don't want to waste your time < a subjective analysis of Astrology, numerology, manifestation, and a subtle exposé of my life

I got issues... but more importantly i got issues with you. I do a lot of research n i hate being told what to do/ and the occult gotta habit of telling me who tf i am.

and Im better at telling myself who tf I am.

THIs is who i am. <^> stop googly eyin me; foo

This is a fkn mess of a post > try your best to read; it was meant to be a story but im incapable > I just want you to have headache (me after reading this shit 20 times or whatever it is) i;m tired. now go away. or read. or die in a hole. all the same to me. astrology is a subjective subject. IDGAF how many books youve read or how many people you speak too; we are literally looking at a planet in space and are saying shit liek " oh im dat type of pretty (venus), im dominant over here (mars), and thats why my life sux (saturn) " meanwhile, the planet still just rotating and we like acting like we apart of its orbit. Its objectively a subjective subject... > its objective only in your natal chart - where the planets are etc.... but interpretations > subjective Sidenote- Im obsessed with astrology.... because my life sucks. and i need to like feel productive somehow - stfu i know this isnt productive, but tell me what you doing? don't act all jiminy cricket on me, when your soundtrack is that of a cricket beginning of rant Also: the mythology and practise of intepretating planets and asteroids, and well the complicated drama that is greek/roman mythology. while there is plenty of overlap, the sheer concept of 2 different intepretations created upon from, 2 seperate cultures, creates different texts and slight differences inherent within each story. this initself creates a subjective intepretation of aforementioned stories > not to mention other cultures who likely put their own narrative of these mythos > it allows us to also intepret it in our own way > it is all just imagination at the end of the day. Whilst the themes are uncannily similar, the form is always different, and thats why I like to intepret it in my own way, and i recommend you do tooo (Alike everything in this subject) ; however we need some clear rules, and guidelines, to make this subject actually palatable, but i fear this community would rather keep it confusing so we can treasure the secrets of the occult on our own. and to that I do understsnd, however, anyone reading tumblr astrology, I believe to already be taking that leap into the occult and should be granted at least some introductory access. and here is (1) problem

Astrology signs are the how, and the houses are the where, > yet you all describe 2nd house a whole lot like tuarus, 10th house lot like capricorn. I mean Ik its similar but yall acting like its different yet your intepretations aint all dat different from each other..... but if the how for you is the where for me, then how tf is it so hard for me to see the differences?… if there is such a startling difference like yall always claim.. to me the themes are so fkn similar whereby > i think its the same > degree, house, sign; same shit diff smell

This however made 4 years ago me, very insecure.:.. 😢I couldn’t figure out the difference and I felt dumb 🤧 but That was 4 years ago - I was noob…. made me realize things like: we got an attitude problem today - we youngins always apologizing, trying to make others comfortable about our bullshit (Anxiety skill issue), yet the old fucks are hella comfortable telling us what to do (authority skill issue), like bro. you dont even know me, and im supposed to bow to you, just so your gonna bread crumb me with some bs self professed 'useful' advice??? if you talked to each other youd realize you all have the same advice... and you too old to keep up with my problems, so stop acting like you know.....

and so like uh, its not bold of me to say that; if your a legit astrologer you know you can just read people. yes everyone has free will, and other explanations to undermine the importance of astrology, but we know whats going on > try me > *sales pitch noise*<

Tumblr astrology is good but not proffesional, just: posts about random asteroids, random observations, random sexytime, and the occasional ‘official’ astrologers bread crumbing us to incentivize us to pay for a reading…. Now I got nothing better to do with my life (nor do you clearly) so we all on here fucking around> but I made da sacrifice > I spent real money

And these 'readings' > dog shit I tell ya > oh don’t worry none of them were from tumblr people. But people in my city and they knew less than what I knew (from reading your tumblr shits)

So it turns out you guys lowkey experts - we done a million random astrology observations - and if your a lurker, you lowkey know more than some pros; and da concept of analyzing people in your life with astrology has made you a *drum roll* > an average astrologer. your not average, if the experts are only 20% better than you (lets say). so with this in mind your not that far off their expertise.. oh you cant measure it? tell me what i dont know < (tell me more) IM HUNGRY, MORE POSTS, MY FEED IS FUCKInG HUNGRY

Now however wasting my money > pissed me off… but its a blessing, becasuse i became >.....> not depressed!!! Finally I got my energy back >>> legs go...

So I learned to read astrology. I just kept reading these websites and interpreting them and well.. I think they overcomplicate a lot of things, and they say it like a report card, when obviously you and I are multiple planets, aspects, houses, degrees, house lords, persona charts, midpoints, asteroids, not to mention composite, synastry, transits solar return , and all da other fkn ones that I cannot be bothered mentioning. Yet there’s a whole fucking essay about one aspect… like bro you couldn’t make a summary? and im supposed to read each of my other aspects? (ofc i did) but like this is just trying to make me spend money (too much reading) and well Im a greedy little fuck so imma drain your resources and not give you a dime >t > SWIPER NO SWIPING <

and i hate watching people trynna act like they know shit yet eat their own words n adjectives like you aint a professional; you just labeled yourself one > wheres your doctorate at bitch? Had enough shitty readings to not trust another 'tarot reader', but its cool the 'psychologists' aint did much better > thank you mother for the birth of my existence but shi dis place a fkn willy wonkin fsctory - and its foul - most places that try to help you that is.... ' you need to be able to receive help' bitch stfu yall underestimsting my problems and overestimating your ability to make me feel better; BITCH I STFG you dont know shiiiiitiittttttttttt > and yall look happy dont you > "dont trust a bartender who dont drink bitch" - KanYe. Numeroloy 'master numbers' > So many sites only use master numbers from 11 > 22 > 33... but wheres the 44? the 55? the 66?????? dont tell me yall didnt realize that every 'master number' still reverts back to each number (9). > 11 =2, 22 = 4, 33=6, 55 = 1, 66 = 3, 77=5..... bro god stsyed outta this mess clearly..... and its always the ones that be inventing new gods that fuck everything too 🤫 furthermore annoyances of numerofuckology - because they reduce the number back down.. .e.g. you have life path 89 > which is simplified to 17 > then to 8.... why not use 89? why we dissin 9 ????? let alone the complete number??? why not intepret both numbers together???? yall just wanna do 1 because your simple with it. and 9 getting left out fr... and yall always celebrating how special 9 is yet he always left out (magic of math - adding 9 - always reverts back to original) honestly - sometiems its so obvious why yall became numerologists sometimes...... Dont even get me started on ANGEL NUMBERS i could neva stfu

i mean yall still trying to test how true it all is, but if you throw a fish at a pisces they gonna go all googly eye on you. tell a scorpio that you intimidated and now your their favourite informant... read their life path number, and you know what they wanna be doing with their life.... i mean it really is a key, and yall locks are looser than you think... watch yo back.. i wouldnt trust someone who can help me (what do they even want), let alone get help from someone who is useless; why would you? dont act like you dont have trust issues, its like our way of relating to each other at this point. your good at sex if you have.... what about the other person? i mean if you masterbate to yoself maybe.... but if a composite chart / synastry have say - chiron eros? pluto saturn? mars dejanira.... how much are you gonna be fucking yourself when you fucked a dirty fucka..... rip virginity - and rip yo self esteem - dangerous game to value your sex appeal as much as you do...... or maybe your living a fantasy on the internet, and that is healthier, but thoughts are manifestations.... oh shit what da fuck have i manifested oh shitttttttttt IM BEING SUCKED IN A VORTEX OF MY OWN SHIT, SOMONE CALL A MANIFESTOR AGHJH AGJJGH please dont be offended, i do like this community; im just a devils advocate... sometimes 👹

you guys put too muhc importance on manifeststion, and i mean if you think its facts, look at what the people around you are manifesting.... OH thats why you isolate so much. so your manifesting loneliness.... oh you try to help people, so your just a trash can for a rubish person.... you see what i mean, manifestation aint so clear cut as you seem to believe. I believe in it, but Im so used to receiving crap, I learned to enjoy eating shit (we all did) and what is "one mans trash is another mans soap" - fight club Oh and Pluto my favourite - every curse a blessing and every blessing a curse.... stop complaining > he gave you the sauce and the only way to show you was to make you cry > lil bitch > pluto profile pic winking at you rn natal > persona > midpoint > composite > synastry > transit > return charts this is the offical order governed by me- so much more imporatnt to understand yourself over what the world got installed / what your partner doing - work on yo insecurities rather than be worried about something you have no control ova

hmmm thats all the issues i have for now.... just look at me as the boy who cried wolf. they aint a wolf here yet; but they gonna be, and im warning yall > why people dont get it...its because there are too many contradictions > but i fully believe, ive had so many spiritual experiences where if i denied them, id be drinking alcohol and pretending i aint a alcoholic. and i do love yall, but sometimes your an eye roll 29th post requires. 29 degree typa energy - YOlo MOfo

[popuptent1]

Sooo i just finished reading the kamokedai match and i need to express the thousand emotions going through my head rn (rant)

WARNING: VERY HEAVY SPOILERS and a BUNCH OF YELLING AND RANTING

if you dont wanna get yelled at i suggest you ignore this post :)

yes yes I know im VERY late to the party and that this manga ended years ago but i just finished reading this so lemme just get it outta my system and ill be on my way

First of all WHAT THE HECC FURUDATE WHY U GOTTA DO US LIKE THAT

they rlly made it so that hinata got sick at the worst possible time huh

like i get it, its to build even more tension but they didnt have to do that i mean cmon my heart was beating stupidly fast while reading that. Takeda even made a whole like five page speech to hinata which is what made us readers all go "oh ye we're losing this match arent we"

And they even made tsukki have to go on the bench cause of his leg becuase why not rub more salt into the wound amiright?

Anyways after the out of pocket plot twist where hinata goes to the hospital it not much of a suprise that kamokedai won but it still hurt ToT.

Yes, i actually thought they had a chance of winning ok? i get that kamokedai is much better than karasuno but still. they couldve won ;(

and then out of nowhere ITACHIYAMA LOST??!!! like what the actual flic flac??!! bro is hitting us with 50 different plot twists at once. First hinata get a fever, then tsukki also goes outta action, then they lose the match, then itachiyama also loses the match WHYYYYYY

i was not mentally prepared for this and was so looking forward to seeing sakusa and the libero whos name i forgot play against fukurodani in the finals but NOPE I GUESS WE AINT GETTING THAT TODAY

Now onto the MAIN REASON I AM TYPING THIS (yes im just warming up here folks)

I am a HUGE fukurodani fan they will always be my #1 favourite team

i thought we were gonna see the semi final and finals matches after karasuno lost but NOPE they just skipped those and was like TIMESKIP TIME WHO CARES ABOUT FUKURODANI :D

(i havent read the timeskip yet since, apart from bokuto, none of my faves are playing volleyball)

so naturally, i turned towards google to see if they do win the nationals

I WAS SO CERTAIN FUKURODANI WERE GONNA WIN THE NATIONALS YOU HAVE NO IDEA I PUT MY HEART ON THE LINE AND WAS 100% SURE THAT THEY WERE GONNA WIN EM ALL YK WHY??

DO

YOU

WANT

TO

KNOW

WHY

BECAUSE FURUDATE MADE IT SOUND LIKE THEY WERE REALLY DESTINED TO WIN THE WHOLE DAM THING

SO WHEN THEY LOST TO SOME RANDOM NOBODY SCHOOL THAT WE'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF AND DOESNT HAVE ANY BACKGROUND AT ALL ACTUALLY KILLED ME SO BAD

they purposely got our hopes up and made us think that fukurodani were gonna be the ones to win (FUKURODANI WERE THE PROTAGONISTS OF THE WORLD, not karasuno!)

i fell for the trap, hook line and sinker 😭😭😭

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

seriously i dont get why furudate couldnt have just made fukurodani win instead?? everyone would be happy about that, and its not like its unrealistic, they're an amazing team, as shown multiple times in the manga!!!

GRRRrrrrr i am angry and sad and mad and depressed and my heart hurts and i feel like screaming into my pillow again

but i feel bad for being so negative in this post so i will end it on a (sorta) positive note for those who actually read that far into this rant lol

THIS ENDING OF FUKURODANI ACTUALLY MADE ME DIE (out of happiness this time)

they arent that depressed about losing bc they know that 2nd in the WHOLE OF JAPAN is still an AMAZING FEAT and that if they werent on the same team, then they wouldnt have gotten that far

konoha says hes grateful and considers himself super lucky that they were all on the same team (and specifically that bokuto was on the team since he's one of the nation's top aces)

and wow thats so amazing i just cant

MY EMOTIONS AHHH

anyways sorry for yelling to you so much, i just had to get this outta my system

The manga was GREAT and i enjoyed reading it so much haikyuu is my favourite anime and im so so glad i stumbled upon it!!! i seriously cant wait for this to get animated

drink water and i wish you happy tumblr scrolling 👍👍👍

[primewritessmut]

📕🥘⏳😁

📕How do you feel about people printing your fics?

Fine. Great. Send me a copy. (Or at least a photo of the bound work!) I only theoretically have a problem with it if someone is printing/binding my fics and selling them.

But, here's the thing: I'm never going to fucking know what most people are doing with my fics so I try not to think too hard about it.

🥘What wip are you most excited about?

Does this have to be a fanfic wip? Or...?

I'm pretty excited about the fic that I posted the excerpt from today. I don't want to give anything away about the direction but ikyk. There's also an original work, loosely called Little Gods, that I'm clawing my way through. I wasn't super sold on it as the one singular OC I wanted to focus on but the husband in this story is turning out to be a right asshole and I'm excited to give him his comeuppance.

⏳If you could go back in time and tell your younger writer self something, what would it be?

There's two things but they're kind of related and I find myself frequently having to be reminded of them even now.

Stop trying to sound like all those best-selling writers. The stories will be better and it will be more fun for you if you lean into your own style and idiosyncrasies.

There's value to the stories you tell even if they'll never be called the Next Great American Novel or be short listed for awards or make you a single dime. People like twinkies (easily digestible writing with basic plot structure) and you're good at making them.

😁What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

This question feels a little like walking through a minefield, to be honest. I see you're back on your question-asking bullshit.

Attention for my fics is a double-edged sword in a lot of ways. I'm not going to bitch about the attention I get because that seems ungrateful so I'll simply say this:

It used to be comments but the ratio of comments that make me happy to other types of comments seems to be getting smaller by the day. Descriptive bookmarks are probably my favorite now. It's like getting a blurb for a tradpub book. Like Ao3 user aint-a-taint says this fic is "better than drugs and easier to mainline" AND they liked it enough that they saved it to read again later. Tumblr asks are the most surprising so it's nice after a shitty day to come On Here and see someone gushing to me about Midori Sour or something.

x

[princesscolumbia]

Smokin' Hot

Was having an absolutely miserable night last night, so even though I was not planning on posting this one until Monday, I felt like I needed a win so I finished it up early and shot it off into the universe. I'll be posting the next chapter of Double Isekai tomorrow, so stay tuned.

Oh, and if you haven't read the two previous stories in this series (don't worry, they're one-shots), here's the links:

The Joketsuzokunichuaan Saga

Description:

What if there was a "Spring of Drowned Warrior Woman?" And what if the Amazon tribeswomen were obligate impression procreators instead of just having a silly law about marrying outsider men who managed to defeat them?

Notes:

And, most importantly, what if you could write such a series without it being squicky 'bad end' fetish porn?

Like a Cat in Heat

Dragon's Lair

Summary:

Kasumi doesn't want to remember

Notes:

This one is...different from the other two entries in this series. If you know me at all, except for certain themes (Celestia is always Sunset's mom somehow, Ranma is always at least NB, if not transfemme, context is king, etc.) I don't like repeating things. Considering I already "repeated" Ranma's curse with Herb for "Dragon's Lair," I didn't want to give someone in the Phoenix tribe a Joketsuzokuniichuan curse and call it a day. A good part of this fic's story and structure can be laid at the feet of Tamsyn Muir and the way she told an absolutely batshit insane, totally off the wall, MAGNIFICENTLY managed Harrow the Ninth. If you haven't read The Locked Tomb yet, you won't have any idea what I'm talking about. If you have, you'll see exactly what I mean fairly quickly.

Preview below the cut:

"This," said Ku Lon to the gathered Saotome-Tendo families, "Is Plum. Yes, like the fruit. Her family have been serving as guides for Jusenkyo for as long as records of the springs have been kept. She took over from her father a couple of years ago and has been doing a far sight better a job than he did...and she's also exceptionally brave."

"Plum not know who to trust. Just know Ku Lon and Xian Pu good to Plum when mother die. So Plum come here when Jusenkyo start to dry up."

Kasumi fidgeted as surreptitiously as she could under the restaurant table. She knew she didn't really have a place at these discussions. She wasn't a martial artist, she wasn't bonded to or wed to one of the Joketsuzoku, and she didn't have any dragon blood in her family line. She was here because she was the 'matriarch,' for whatever that title was worth, of the Tendo family and so honor demanded she attend. She at least had the reassuring company of Hiroshi and Daisuke seated with her at the same table, today wearing some rather silly maid costumes in their female forms. The three of them had bonded over the fact that they had the least ability to do anything for anyone in this rarified atmosphere of condensed power and martial skill.

"Wait, the springs're drying up?" Ranma gaped, "Aint they been around for, like, thousands of years?"

Plum nodded, "Springs guarded by Joketsuzoku, kept clean by Musk, and fed by spring in Mount Phoenix. Three tribes, three legs of stool, is balancing act."

Ku Lon spoke up when confused looks spread through the non-natives to the Juusendo region, "While we don't have records of the origin of Jusenkyo, the legends of our peoples tell of the Amazons, the Musk, and the Phoenix working together in a sort of...mutually assured destruction peace treaty. The Musk would master the springs themselves, the Phoenix keeping the source of the springs safe, and the Joketsuzoku keeping the outside world from discovering the secrets of the springs. And in the middle of it all," she pointed with her cane to Plum, "The guides, only there to observe and to keep wandering visitors safe and direct them to the Joketsuzoku."

"Four months ago we got word of some serious troop movements among the Musk," Nabiki almost unconsciously put her hand on Jian's knee with a gentle squeeze, "They were positioning units in concerning ways, but once it was clear that the Joketsuzoku weren't the target, Ku Lon and I decided to take a 'wait and see' approach. We expected that if this was unprovoked Musk aggression, then the Phoenix Tribe would send someone to the Joketsuzoku to ask for help, part of the balance of power in the region. But instead...?"

"We got silence," interjected Ku Lon. "We, that is, the village sent emissaries, but they were turned away before they even got to the foot of the mountain. We then sent peace envoys to the Musk to see if they were acting on some sort of aggression from the Phoenix people, but our warriors were attacked without provocation. Fortunately, no loss of life, or else this would be a drastically different kind of meeting."

The Elder Emeritus sighed and sipped at her tea, "At least we have an idea why the Musk reacted now, if the Phoenix are interfering with the flow of the water from Juusendo, then the Musk, who use the springs regularly for their...barbaric purposes, would have noticed first. Why they didn't come to us..."

"Because my father is a fool," snapped Jianren. "He believes that men, and specifically the Beast Warriors of the Musk, are all that anyone needs for true power. He will see this as a personal attack against him, specifically, and everyone else is complicit in the crimes he imagines are being committed against him."

"Idiotic old lizard," grumbled Ku Lon, "What is more distressing is the news that the Kaisufuu has been found." At the expected blank looks, she explained, "There are two artifacts that were created to work in tandem with the Springs of Jusenkyo. The Chiisuiton, or Locking Ladle, and the Kaisufuu, or Pot of Liberation. When a silly young prince," Ku Lon nudged Jianren gently with the head of her staff, "So foolishly thought the best way to acclimate himself to the sight of a naked woman was to use his people's traditions to make a mistress of a monkey," Jian had turned beet red and was clasping her free hand over her eyes, her other hand held by an impishly smiling Nabiki, "He, now she, fell victim to the Locking Ladle, which was then lost when Ha Bu fled rather than deal with the ongoing shame of being a princess in a land where women were considered to be barely above animals."

"Legend said that the two artifacts will point the way to each other," Jian interjected, "I thought to take the ladle and pail with me to find the kettle, but then I was ambushed by some highwaymen in the deep backwoods of China. I overpowered them, but the pail and ladle were lost in the battle. That...that was the moment I swore off my birth name and became Jianren."

Kasumi watched as Nabiki leaned into her wife and the two cuddled for a bit. To her left, Hiroshi and Daisuke looked on as well, satisfied smiles like book-ends on their faces.

"Given the kettle was lost centuries ago," continued Ku Lon when it became clear that Jian wasn't going to say anything further, "It is only reasonable to conclude that the pail and ladle were recovered somehow and then used to track down the Kaisufuu. If only one artifact was the possession of either the Phoenix or the Musk, it would be bad. But given the Musk have been behaving defensively and the Phoenix have halted the flow of the springs, we have to assume that the Phoenix tribe has both artifacts and are preparing to use them for some reason we cannot know without more information."

The more experienced warriors, politicians, and martial artists began speculating, though it was clear they were going to be talking in circles. Kasumi looked over to the other two girls at the table and reached out, clasping Hiroshi's hand, "You don't have to do it, you know."

They both turned to her with confusion etched on their faces. In a bit of the puckish karmic humor Jusenkyo was known for among those who studied the magics of the springs, where Daisuke had the more common dark black hair of most Japanese men and Hiroshi had lighter, shaggier brown, almost blond hair as a man, as women their hair colors were nearly exactly reversed, though Daisuke's girl-form hair was closer to dirty blond than light brown. They had similar builds to each other, which had led to some interesting clothing swaps on occasion. Of course, they both had a masculine sense of feminine modesty, which is to say nearly non-existent, a fact for which Nabiki and Jianren had taken shameless advantage of over the years.

"What're you talking about, Kas-chan?" asked Daisuke innocently.

Kasumi just swept Hiroshi's hand into a two-handed grip and bore into the part-time woman's eyes with her own, "You know Jian is capable of taking care of herself, even against her father. Please, you know how much it will hurt Jianren, and Daisuke and Nabiki will be heartbroken."

The two boys-turned-girls looked at each other with sad, defeated expressions. "C'mon, Kas-chan," drolled Hiroshi as she turned to the older woman, "You know that's not how this conversation went."

(Read the whole thing on AO3)

[6of575]

my goal is to try and make at least a post a day on here, even if its nothin very interesting to anybody else

i feel like,,, if i can finally successfully make it a habit to post and engage, it might just trick my brain from task avoidance

so! post done and heres the part for me thats fun:

(under a cut since its ramblin long)

the books im currently reading concurrently are some conlang construct books mr am got me that have been on my wishlist for ages, along with a very cool book about black holes and theories surrounding them, which mr am loaned to me from his collection

one of the things we share is a love of science and space, and more specifically, stars and time travel and all the things about our known universe that black holes straight up break

i have a lot of fun chatting with him; i really cant overstate the value of a friend so genuine, who i am never too much of, and i can talk about all my interests without the reflexive dread creeping on in

all that bullshit i learned growing up, yanno the kind: "im boring, im dumb, who could possibly enjoy swapping rock facts, much less listen to hours of it even when it our interests DONT align"

like, theres so much else about my friendship with him thats meaningful, but thats top tier right there

and lately? ive gotten a few others in my corner, who when i share, im starting to feel like that with them, too

its so weird! to have gone from one person to a tiny community of folks (and i mean little! its like,, five? six? of us max usually) that thrive on a love of the weird and the cringe and the stubborn hope

plenny others have waxed more eloquent than me about this sorta thing--how fandom spaces come sorta pre-fab with common, shared interests that its fans bring, and they build their fort and theres rules already laid out, and it becomes a second (sometimes first) home, of sorts

but when its starting from scratch, when its about stuff and is made by people that others just wouldnt ordinarily invest in or look at without outside prompting, thats not the same! its not a bad thing, more neutral, but its stressful, its really such a lonely feeling

except--when you finally find it, that person, and thats a community of its own, and it can grow, and suddenly you swappin stories, throwing jokes! and memes and links and hey inevitably, theres also those what ifs about your little guys

and everything is srs and sacred and everything is hilarious and "i cant believe this is real life" levels of stupid

you get to learn habits and quirks and whole personalities

"hey this reminded me of you" "hey, check out this view" "oh, thats right, yer the possum dude" "you love medieval lore--and i read this, and what do you think about it, too"

its suddenly kind of a fandom space after all, and its like, still work of course, reaching for and keeping more and being a person with, it aint that neat or pretty

but its got warmth and joy and expansion, after a lifetime of making yourself small enough to try and fit

you end up fans of your friends, fans of their life, hyping each other up and up and up about the most mundane shit and it starts to look like not even the skys the limit

planning things to do together, spending long hours into the night to parallel play with vidgames or watchin movies like time aint nothin thisll last forever, right? (it doesnt, always, but thats also part of this, and the ones that stay, the ones that work with you

those are the ones waking up to backread your chats like its the morning newspaper

and your life matters

like its better than the best hot goss, its saturday morning cartoons and their favour ice cream flavours

only now we adults and its also commiseratin over breakups and bills, and cross-country moves, and its celebrating that i saw chickens in the yard today and you finally got your boygirlthemsomethin gender fuckery juice)

idk idk idk

i feel some kinda way about all that

i never thought id make it so far that im nearly forty

never thought id get to ask "okay, well, now what? what do i wanna do, and try, and be?"

im... starting small i think, and im for reals happy, happier than i have been in years; i learned how to be alla my friends biggest fans, and im starting to finally believe

other people can feel that way about me

i just really think thats kinda neat

[temporarymoods]

mwah

scatch what i said on that last post. idk her. im CHILLINGGGGG!!!

MarMon today: yes I celebrated. you gotta. duh. Patriot's Day-- a Mass thing!? Hilarious.

We went to the race and yelled and screamed and cheered on at various points. Walked a bunch. Got sunburnt in that shallow way, but my nose is pink. It was pretty emotional! So proud of everyone. Kept thinking that this is kind of one of the best things humanity can do. Anyway-- B)

Got sambas, lmfao?! Trying to look like a boy. Followed by some really good pasta. and then trying to look like a girl. i went to a frat! for the first time! i got champagne on my sambas. christened. the person who clocked me as queer at the party said "christened" after i had minutes prior. yeah. a good thing

- - i know the gender thing of it is ridiculous but for some reason my soft complicated body craves that sexual weirdness between men and women and particularly these young men and women in that..disgusting atmosphere. a disgusting atmosphere. really hungry for that generalization.. it's true. im really attracted to men

other than that^ being tough,

i went DANCINGGG!!!!!1!1!11!!11!!

and I LOVED IT SO MUCH!!!!111!1

What a GREAT night!!! i can't put into words how amazing i feel even though that is why i came here...shucks. has the moment past? did i spend too much time on the queue?

My foot is sore as I type this. I came home so inspired and read up on country swing vs other kinds (I knew jazz swing was the thing, and swing dancin aint line dancin !) then i listened to a lot of good music:

Slow Dancing - Aly & AJ * total classic for me lmao. damn they have the best spotify top 5

Let's Get Married - Bill Elliot Swing Orchestra * when i didn't yet understand that i had to look up **country** swing music. now i know ;) god i cant wait to go again

-- what is it?! i think its that i really love to dance, to move my body, to try and get it right, to improve? to be good? to have fun in a choreographed way. to conform. the do the correct thing. idk

here's what i think its really about: i think i like smootheness. and i like the click of a phenomenon you can't pull a word for. and short counts. and intention. and shape. mostly shape. beat, sure, too. i like beat. i like rising to it, and not tiring. i dont know how i get so obsessed. i need to go back. that was exactly what ive been looking for for months, and what i thought i found but only got in part in the club, which i go to for the dancing, the loud music, the blindingness. but i dont contribute there. my ears are filled but the sound can only vibrate me a little. im not, swung, literally. and i cant provide energy to the space like you can witcha boots awn. so yeah, i think thats really it. dancing. i fucking love dancing. ive always fucking loved dancing. for real! really! i never got that good, yeah. but i fucking loved it thats for sure. i always wanted someone to actually teach me shit. they didnt do that enough in theatre. maybe they did. maybe i just wasnt that talented. not now though. dead. fucking. ass. just input my entire work calendar that i have access to because this shits getting real my life is mine and theres fan fucking tastic things to be doing with it.

alright...i could continue...i'll pick up the rest in my dairy ;* not gonna get too personal, phew. uhm. eh hem.

That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain

Tequila - Dan + Shay

End of Beginning - Djo * lmao i got on this because i saw some interview w him online as im jamminggugghh i got sucked in. then all this happened:

Change - Djo * so much better than the one blowin up btw

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics, etc * i looked up more songs like Change :| hahaha. then all this happened:

Lifetime - Yves Tumor

Pop Song - Perfume Genius

Here Comes the Rain Again - Eurythmics, etc

Here Comes Your Man - Pixies

Eye in the Wall - Perfume Genius

Boys - Amen Dunes * at this point my original mission is fucked. the intention's gone. i'm so far from where i started: country lovin

at the same time the joint i rolled before we went out and shared on the way home is getting its way through my system for sure. its approaching 2am, woah! full day tomorrow but not nearly as inspired at this one. this one's literally how you're supposed to live . well maybe beer not getting stolen at the bar mmmm. mhm. yeah i'll tack that on as well.

i didnt, dont, want to let go of tonight skrrreorgihveouhv!!!! uuuummm! yeah i should keep thinking about it. : ) : ) hehehehehe

Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - Shania Twain

<3 , so much ;)

Kate

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

I feel so bad for our main three... Sonic is gonna be locked in his Gaia form for a long time, Shadow is gonna be stressing about the details, and poor little Chip is gonna be pushing himself to do all that he can to keep the team intact. I don't know if Tails is coming along for the ride, which he probably isn't, but if he is I really wanna see his reaction to the Werehog form.

OKOKOK I AINT GETTIN SIDETRACKED TODAY BINCH-

Seeing Sonic just staring at Shadow in that last panel has a lot of meanings/implications btw. First, it means that he's trying to clue into whatever Shadow is talking about with Rouge, aka himself. He knows it's something about him because he just has this gut feeling, and watching his boo talking in such a low tone like this... To Sonic it doesn't feel right. Before the previous night, the two weren't really withholding much information from each other, and there was rarely an air of secrecy between the two. They got along just fine! But after what happened with the Gaia monsters and Sonic accidentally going apeshit, there is suddenly this weird rift between the two that Sonic can feel, and he can tell that it's getting bigger and bigger by the hour. He doesn't want that. So, he's trying to listen in on what Shadow's saying to Rouge, hoping that if he knew more then there would be a better chance in fixing his relationship with Shadow.

And that's not even getting into how the guy feels responsible for said rift in their dynamic-

Oh and of course we can't forget the other implication of him staring, which is just him staring because he's in love or whatever. (Gay gay homosexual gay)

Another thing I want to note about Chip is that the poor guy just wants to help! :( He's doing all that he can to keep Sonic and Shadow from splitting apart, because even he can tell that something is up. He doesn't know exactly how to fix it, but he does know that honesty is a good policy. That's one of the only things he knows in ethics let's be real. So since he knows that being honest is the equivalent to being trustworthy and a good person, he tries to clue Tails in just a little, dropping some hints here and there about Sonic's condition, while also being super vague. (I think that's what the quicksand thing was about?? Sorry it's been a while lol) Meanwhile Shadow is trying to do the exact opposite, trying to keep everyone as out of the loop as they can except for Team Dark, because A. They're his family, and B. They already knew. Unbeknownst to him, this isn't a good way to handle a kid, and this is not what good parenting looks like, so it unfortunately dampens Chip's mood, which is something that he and the reader DOES NOT WANT.

WHY DO WE HAVE A PANEL WITH SAD CHIP NOW WHY WE DIDNT ASK FOR THIS OKAY WE DIDNT NEED THIS IT IS NOT OKAY WE ARE NOT FINE AFTER THAT-

Okay I am FINALLY DONE with this "Ask," I apologize for how big this is! :p I love reading your comic and then analyzing everything every character ever does, it's such a great passtime! Hope to do this again with either the next page or the one after that if my lack of motivation doesn't strike once more!

NOOO DONT BE SORRY THESE ASKS MAAKE MY DAY!!!!

i like your observation about sonic and shadow's trust with eachother. I'd just like to propose one little thing: how do we know shadow hasn't been withholding information the entire time aswell? who's perspective is this story told from?

the answer is none obviously but i do consciously chose whos characters thoughts we are allowed to know and who's not

oh and sweet innocent chip.... don't worry he's gonna have his arc

[typekiku]

TSUKIHIME FASHION REVIEW 4!!!!

hello hello everyone

*insert applause here*

i totally haven't been dealing with some severe writers block for this relatively improvised series of rants no way i just been uhh climbing a.... spiritual mountain! yes! that is it!

i strongly suggest everyone climb their own spiritual mountains it really helps clear *things* up

uh yea whatever

so today we will be returning to the much awaited tsukihime fashion review with the one and only CIEL so go whip up some good ole curry and read along for this rant breakdown of ciel's designs evolution throughout the years.

CIEL

just look at her for a second and reconsider your life choices? have you done your homework today? (if not please go do it thats very uncool) have you returned your library books? have you tied your shoe laces? thats the vibe im getting from her in this pic

suddenly she hits you with this look and its like ugh i could go to war for much less. i could take on maybe a dead apostle or two or even a dead apostle ancestor. sure i'd die but what is death in front of curry senpai amirite? im suuuuuuure she would appreciate that sentiment

on a serious note tho she actually is adorable as hell and i can't believe i only literally just noticed that. the hair especially is to die for.

Takeuchi bless his heart really nailed that cute older student vibe he so sought for

wait wrong pic

now THIS is raw as hell. pure peak 90s edge. i imagine takeuchi was literally sitting on the edge of a blade on the edge of a cliff on the edge of the world.... well theres one more edge joke here but ill leave it be point is this is edgy and i lowkey love it.

i used to feel somewhat indifferent to the design here especially concerning the tattoos which i think i still am. the biggest issue with the tattoos for me specifically the angel wings is simply they aren't symmetrical and thus look bad according to me but everything else is chefs kiss

i talked about this in the roa post but like wtf is wrong with roa man... first thing he does is strip down is bro ok? why does he do this? what does he gain? freak.

CIEL REMAKE

excuse the border im literally copy pastin here ANYWAYs yea idk how i feel about the remake ciel at all tbh to the point that i considered accidentally forgetting this section

its like they brought up her cuteness factor by 100 points in exchange of any edge whatsoever

she got sanitized damn it

SANITIZED

don't get me wrong i still find her cute but GODDAMN where is the edge? where is the allure? i bet she wouldn't ask "Glasses or no glasses" OH WAIT THEY TOOK THAT TOO!! why can't ciel have a good thing in peace... they took away the roa boner yall...

its kinda meh to me overall

again ignore the large size i cba to find a smaller pic rn

yk what she looks dope here so ill allow it. i may be feeling things rn actually its weird because i have never really been a ciel fan but now im gushing over her... huh strange

no comment besides omg hot

ANYWAYS thats all i have to say about ciel

i like her og design much better then the remake because i feel it was very hmmm distinctive is the word i would use.

the remake makes her look much more generic in a sense especially concerning the hair

overall i would say the remake really went for a slightly more generic look in the hair department and i aint really a tm boomer or anything but it is such a shame

thats all i have again so cya folks

remember to read tsukihime right the fuck now or else....

[lesser-mook]

We got more Anime simping because gays & woke is spooky (ItsAGundam all over again)

Like ItsAGundam this kat is ignoring that manga and anime have a serious pdf problem in japan.

blatantly breeze over that to sell the fact that its not woke, which is all that matters to here. And thats so dangerous.

Its so bad that in 2023 after 100yrs they changed the age of consent, finally. Why? Because assaults are so bad against women and children…in a culture with an industry that dehumanizes women and children casually. ALOT. Coincidence im sure.

And this is a country with a Gov. official that stated adults can have child porn no problem because it doesnt hurt anyone

WELL, that tune changed pretty fucking quick didnt it?

Almost as if harmful propaganda results in harmful civilization. NEVER hurts anyone until it does.

Thats why "its not hurting anyone" is never a point.

Thats the industry you're endorsing? Thats the second sinking ship you're hopping to? Cause it aint woke????

Thats all it takes huh? just sales & pandering is what you go off of, forget if the stories are any good lol

Not much of an upgrade. Americans have taken their own notes in terms of style from Japan but Japan majorly still copies the west for a reason, the west, when its trying, makes better stories. Its not even a contest.

Its why our stuff makes more (arguably) global impact and anime is more niche up until recently.

And if you're going to say Japanese anime stories that have come out already are good then the same standard should apply to Hollywood. Todays stuff might be bad but the good stuff came out already, so whats the panic for?

DrWho is woke, oookay? Just watch the older seasons that are good? Easy fix.

Why run to anime like there's nothing to watch in the west, such a dumb argument

The only thing Japan has going for it is visual aesthetic, their gifted craft for vision. Their writing, especially modern writing? Is trash.

Has nothing to do with woke, their industry is just creatively bankrupt.

Better anime are retro, and the better Hollywood stories are released already, thus retro or out now.

DUNE PT 2 was decent, yet to see any modern shonen touch that or even Kid Cosmic, hell even The Wizard of Oz is a better Isekai than a lot of modern Isekai.

And Dune pt2 is not even a masterpiece or anything, its just competent without the creepy pedo stuff

Someone else said it but its why seasonal anime is forgotten in less than 2 weeks

But The Matrix, American Psycho, Jurassic Park, Batman 89, T2, Alien, or Infinity War are still talked about.

Thats western. Peak thats already out.

But yall ignoring that to complain about the cultural takeover and endorse another form of industrial corruption

I watch anime, I read manga but Anime & Manga is not the promised land you think it is. Especially, I repeat: ESPECIALLY when these guys don't even specify the genre. They just say ANIME or MANGA like all of it is just platinum

Its mid that looks peak, and smells like garbage. A lot of it.

Not every genre is the same, some good, but anime/manga for the sake of anime/manga is not good because its anime and manga and not woke.

Like cmon.

Stop riding japan, they have good stories too, but as a whole? You have NO idea what they're on.

[maggstar]

hi! hello!

my life update - the hot and cold guy… my goddess we flirted so much, got the good morning beautiful stuff,he drunkenly said to me (on video) “i want to love you” and all that, but he still is off and on :(( i like him but i think im getting played, im too self aware for all of this, got me thinkin love aint for me getting back to uni after break is like entering hell so ive been stressed again :((

ill try to push through!!

on to the main thing i wanted to talk about!! “Until the day i die” !!!!! i read it last night, finally !!! and the wait was so so so worth it!! im not a fan of 3rd pov in fics but i love u and wanted to give it a shot cuz i knew u worked very hard on this!! and i LOVED it!!

im truly in love with the way u describe the scene and emotions !! always makes me feel like i can im there or i can relate or imagine what characters went through!! and Heeseung here? wow, i dont know what else i can say, his background story and struggles and his work?? absolutely stunning! !

the whole plot of the fic was dashing! truely!!!

i missed reading soft sex so much :(( i feel like everything is so loveless.. just fucking and thats it, but here? i melted !! the love and passion and intimacy were on another level, the trust and comment of theirs? and sincerity of it all i was wonderstruck and this made me want to feel something so deep for someone!!

and i saw it was for me??? stappppp, that was so sweet :((( ily2

thank u so much!!! this is was beautiful !! im amazed ! thank u thank u for sharing it here with us!!

i love u, lovely!! hope ure doing good! ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ wishing u all the best for this new year!! lots of love and happiness and warmth !!!

-♡, xoxo

no cause I was waiting for this ever since I posted the fic and kept checking every day. I was so happy to see it in my inbox today!

I'm really happy you liked the fic because I was worried you wouldn't like it since it was in 3rd pov, but thank you for giving it a try regardless of that. I had so much fun writing it, it was comforting for my broken soul haha.

Honestly, you should ask the guy if he wants to be serious or not. If he says no, then he's not worth it. He might make you feel a lot of butterflies, but you should only look for something stable and long-term. Or that's what I would advise to do in this situation. Had a guy like this once, who only wanted to admire me from afar and got spooked when I made a move. It's better to know than go in without anything. You deserve to be respected and loved, never go below with your standards! Someone will meet them one day, so do what feels right for you until then!

Ilym, angel. I hope this year can bring you a lot of health, wealth, success and love. I wish you all the best and please stay safe and don't overwork yourself.

Currently suffering with burnout, and let me tell you, it's a bitch. I have terrible migraines every day and they last for hours despite taking pills. I'll be skipping school for a bit as I have 6 finals next week and can't study for all of them in this state.

So please, take care, sleep a lot, hydrate and don't push yourself too much. Or you'll end up like me and won't be able to do anything :D