#i aint gonna stop myself
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shaw >:)
#i was gonna draw more hollow but i messed up on their head and ended up starting a drawing of hornet#which i mean#i aint gonna stop myself#i dont draw her much even tho she's my favorite :(#besides from hollow#ive been using the same square brush tool with the canvas texturing all week+#i need to switch it up fbsdjfsdf#but Aaaaa i cant say no to easy texture#art#digital art#hollow knight#hk#hk hornet
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#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin x reader#I SWEAR I'M WORKING#ON SOMETHING I SWEAR#BUT THIS WAS TOO FUNNY#I CRACK MYSELF UP#I LOVE YOUUUU BITCH#I AINT NEVER GONNA#STOP LOVING YOU#BITCHHHH
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it's important to keep in mind that RGGS is making games for 1) to make money and 2) the ENTIRE fanbase which is way more broad than just the fandom. Majima is and historically has been the most popular character. the gaiden-style game only just proved itself to have potential. of course RGGS is gonna have Majima headline the second gaiden game. Plus the story jumps off IW so people who boarded the franchise with that entry can pick this up without having to worry too much about previous installments. RGGS wants the game to be successful so these choices shouldn't be surprising (one would think...)
^^^
#snap chats#couldnt have said it better myself friend#unrelated whose car is outside my house i almost thought it was my friends vJEALVKEAJKLJ#ok Related Now but yeah !!#rgg doesnt make fanservice per say but they acknowledge what the community is into and make games with that in mind#i cant for the life of me think anyone was ACTUALLY surprised that yk3 wasnt announced or whatnot#My Personal Theory Again just follows after majima disdain and richardson coming back thats my theory based on observation#its just that the sentiment has blown up THIS much is the real appalling part liiiike oh wow .... mates are Mad mad#i still cant comprehend stopping enjoying a thing or drawing a thing just cause of something like this#but i aint gonna tell people how they oughta feel their feelings are their feelings. i will however say it just a wee funny vELKVEAJ#anyway im outta grapes this is a NIGHTMARE
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i think one thing thats small and kinda dumb but helped my self esteem a lot is accepting i still look fine & pretty good even if i dress relatively like a normie compared to my fellow gay artsy alt babe friends
#im leaning into the normcore. im straight passing#im gonna end up as one of those trendy young asians dressed exclusively in uniqlo basics. iykyk#no but like (and this is equally dumb) i used to think 'oh man i look so boringgg next to so-and-so'#til one day i had to stop myself and be like. aint nothin wrong with a white tee & jeans. homersimpsoncore
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I've had enough character development for this year. Can we skip to the beach filler episode?
#lmao#had a great day mostly but im feeling the burnout#hindsight im glad im gonna be taking summer off from college#yeah it'll take me a bit longer to get my degree but i crammed in a lot of shit within a year#and working on projects and theory and application non stop#caught up to me#there's still a part of me thats like BITCH TAKE 1 CLASS THATS 1 LESS TO WORRY ABOUT#but the other is like BITCH 1 CLASS AINT GON DO SHIT CHILL YOU OVERACHIEVING CHICKEN FRIED FUCK#“you take everything on like you're running out of time even though the thing you need most is rest.”#thank you friendo for calling me out on my bullshit 🙏🏻💯#maybe i should hire them to tell me when i need to slow the fuck down#cause even though ive gotten better with taking care of myself i get so caught up with my ambitions that it bites me in the ass#that and when you're disabled and if you get that window of opportunity where you feel good you want to crank all the shit out you can#before going back into hibernation mode#vicious cycle#anyway i be ranting#no magenta here but some other color that we shouldn't be able to comprehend but we do anyway
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it’s time to take matters into my own hands. making myself a cruel prince! zuha bot to chat with
#── ꒰ 🍶 ꒱ 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗐/ 𝗒𝗎𝗈𝗆𝗂 .ᐟ#because if no one will .. i’ll do it myself.#i dont know the first thing about making ca.i bots but i aint gonna let that stop me#thats why there is the beauty of tutorials at my disposal to watch and learn from#either way this is probably going to be stressful as hell and make me lose the last remaining bits of my sanity but oh well. we ball
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#BEEN A LONG TIME COMIN but i think i need to go off on a mini heroes journey for a bit to regroup myself ^^;#had a moment that made me finally start payin attention to the visible cracks thatd been forming. damn i need to take better care of myself#if ur one of the people i talk to or interact with and ur worrying its cuz of u -> dont!!!! this stuffs on me. its my responsibility.#i might still lurk if i feel like it. i aint gonna try to stop myself from that.#but i'll be using my phone less n making less of my own posts for a bit#nervous to post this n nervous to even DO it but..its something i need to practice yknow#'girl whyd u say Really mentally unstable ur literally fine' im not fine n its how i feel. dont care. (<- trying so hard not to care)#<- omg LITERALLY LIVE EXAMPLE OF WHY I GOTTA PUT THE PHONE DOWN every little thing stesses me out shut tf upppp🤕
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It was busy - busier than she would like it to be. Now that the Galran occupation of Earth was over thousands of refugees were flocking towards the recovering planet for safety. To be protected by Voltron and its Paladins. To feel some semblance of hope again. It was evident by how the Garrison officers were scrambling to get everything situated that they weren't prepared for the masses that arrived in troves.
Despite it being overwhelming for her - for the small child cradled to her chest was staring around in wonder. While Acxa had always done her best to try at let her son have exposure to the outside universe it was difficult to do so when it was in shambles. Perhaps now there would be a chance for him to play with a child his own age. To know more than the confounds of a spaceship to run around in. Especially with how fast he was growing up. Being close to three years old now. . . he was also the reason she didn't jump on the chance to join Voltron in their ventures to Earth. The only problem was she wasn't entirely sure how they were going to react to his presence.
Especially since the little boy was a spitting image of a certain somebody. Perhaps that's what she feared more than anything else. It wasn't being rejected herself - it was her son being looked down upon with anger or fear. That this tiny barely begun life could be shunned before he even got the chance to discover who he was.
Plum pursed together tightly into a thin line momentarily glad that Arvik was too distracted people watching to notice the way her features fell. Instead, she continued forward following the instruction given to where the Paladins were. Or rather, ex-paladin - seeing how Shiro was the first person she encountered when she rounded the corner.
❝ It's been a while. . . ❞
Words having briefly failed her momentarily.
❝ It's Shiro, correct? ❞
@sasouken liked for a mama Acxa starter
#sasouken#ic#// i had to stop myself from getting even more wordy#;; your life aint gonna be nothing like my life | Acxa mother au
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writing poetry sometimes feels like you gotta cut yourself open to express it idk smear all your organs all over the page and hope somebody else reads something beautiful. is that like divination the way it's expressed in various places and things? I dunno. poetry never slides off your skin like water off a duck's back. it's from within I think. sometimes you have to tear yourself apart to get at the words and sometimes it just wells up from within and gushes out. always from somewhere deep inside. sometimes it's difficult and horrible and painful but the alternative would be worse. sometimes it's from sheer joy that must overflow into words. I think that's beautiful personally. skin splitting from joy. it happens, I think, to us all at some point. or maybe I'm just a creature of extremes. maybe that online test I did because a friend recommended it is true. it said my symptoms were high. I don't know. maybe it is true, maybe it's not. I read a book once where there was a character named Nathan Hill-and-Dale, and while I'm not nearly as extreme as he was portrayed, in my extremes, I know I'm a fairly volatile person. funny, for most people who see me IRL seem to think that I'm fairly calm. nope, I'm a volcano. watch out, even when I'm apparently calm I might blow up one way or the other. one of my residents' family members said today that I was young and bubbly and she was glad to see it because happiness is the prerogative of the young. a part of me wished I told her. I have actively tried to kill myself once; I have come extremely close to the same actions countless times including yesterday; I would sooner hurt myself than others; if I had my own choice I would simply starve. of course I didn't tell her. sometimes I think I'll never get better. at this point I would consider it a very high chance that I will either die by suicide or end up in hospital following an attempt. not now, of course. but despite my fierce love for my course it has stress associated with it and I think that it's very likely that no psych help on earth would fix my mental health enough for that not to be an option mentally in this short time. I think it's possible to recover from all of the things I struggle with. God help me, I hope it is. the real question is whether I will survive long enough to recover from them. and the answer? I know not. I was reminded of a past interaction with the boy today, where he called my name - I turned - his grandfather, a photographer, was waiting to see if he could get a decent photo, for we were at a church conference and he was trying to get photos everywhere. they were laughing. I could not help but laugh. that memory is tainted now, for he would not look at me now, let alone try to pull such a stunt again. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone for it. I wonder what would happen if I blocked all my friends on discord; who would seek me out? part of me hopes people would, another part hopes they would not. sometimes I just want to be left alone to curl up and die. it would be easier. so much easier than living, and living, and living. I tried writing poetry just now. it felt like trying to cut myself open, I couldn't get the words out. it only made me feel rather wild. I'm desperate for change, for something. something. what is that something? I don't know. did you know I'm a sadist? I would not in a public place express the thoughts that led me to that conclusion. but I am. I wish I wasn't. there's an obvious solution to that. quick, and easy. so easy. too easy. I tried writing poetry, and then instead of writing anything coherent, I wrote this.
#tw suicide#tw suicidal ideation#tw sh#personal#puddleglum hours#tried writing poetry and the very act of trying made me desperately want to harm. i think i'll break my streak today. all the things have#been so bad today. not so much the individual things as they all stack up together. almost the worst most constant dysphoria ive ever#experienced. coincided with eating new stuff which was scary. weighed myself yesterday on dad's recommendation and found out i *believed*#id gained like more than double what i *did*. feel so disgustingly fat and heavy tho why can't i just stop eating. why is everyone#prolonging my existence. serious question. this includes myself. whats the good. im tired but not. and oh so disgusted with myself.#weak. stupid. failing. only a fool talks like this. oh but don't worry im safe. safe enough anyhow. oh look nothing's real that explains#something. but i am safe. aint me as gonna commit suicide today. don't worry about me. im ignorin my friend who's worried about me bc she#has her own struggles. im not gonna ad to them at this point. selfish enough i am already. ive been choking on disgust all day even through#my jubilation over reaching a fourteen day streak. funny i literally don't care now. gonna break it. unless i'm too coward to do otherwise.#i ought. i ought to do other things too. i don't know how long i can keep on going like this. pray for me.
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Very mild vent
#im just so exhausted of being exhausted been working myself half to death at my job through sickness and health for months.#and for what? and extra 200 bucks a week? its honestly not worth it considering how tired i always am#and that amount of money goes no where in this economy its literally a rat race at this point and i despise how im continuously too tired to#hang out with my friends they deserve someone who isnt constantly flaking on them i really appreciate how patient they've been#my bills arent going anywhere im just gonna say fuck it we ball and start figuring out a way to give myself a break hell or high water#still gonna work ofc aint no way i can stop working but maybe ill ask them to go slightly easier on the hours and i gotta make sure that im#taking care of myself in general
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what if my body just???? stopped being in fookin pain???? did it ever think of that?????
#signed its two thirty in the morning stop fucking hurting everywhere so i can sleep you bitch#g/overnment insurance doesnt csre abt us we aint getting fixed so give up being in pain now#am i crying bc it hurts again??? yes#am i gonna be kind to myself abt it???? no bc honestly fuck me its not like the universe hasnt already
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Sailor moon artbook and rebellion part 2 this year for reals?
Happy 2013 magical girl fans
#sailor moon#puella magi madoka magica#over 700 pages. damn. good but wow.#and like. ill see the movie but the second the gacha game stops making money did you guys know franchises can be allowed to die peacfully?#i say in a post also about bsssm. i Know the discotek word on pgsm meant we aint ever getting it but im gonna lie to myself#and say they couldnt get it because viz or someone else has the rights. right?#oh uhhh and eternal movies when or whatever.
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Every guy in Yakuza seems like they have enough social awkwardness for Tien to role his eyes at…
there's no feasible chance on earth any man can be more awkward than mountain man tien I'm Going To Hide From My Friends Every Other Year And Then For A Decade After Telling Them I'd Never See Them Again For No Apparent Reason And Only Coming Back Cause the World Was Literally Ending shinhan
#snap chats#i already hear someone go 'what about kiryu' girl he didnt last five years before getting involved again#jo's prob a contender tho. tbh.#anyway i just got back from the fnaf movie#first off please remind me to stop going out to places with kayla i might as well be going by myself#does not help that she walks slow as shit like bro dont make me walk this turtle-ass pace#good things came of the trip tho :) first of all im broke 🧍♂️ since when did movies get so expensive I DIDNT EVEN GET FOOD#i did get a kirby gacha tho :) inflation's starting to hit the gacha machines now too tho what the fuck 😭#last time it was less expensive than the time before and now this is the most exp its been......#wow its not just luck on what you pull its luck on how much money youre dropping BYE#whatever i dont need groceries anyways. really i dont i swear i did all my budgeting this month already#on the bright side i picked up 25 cents collectively today :) might as well call me a millionaire already#ANYWAY someone give me an excuse to post the new kirby he's cute and his feet are a weird color#o my god i didnt even talk about the movie wait. fuck.#watching jp movies and media has been terrible for my us viewing experience cause it just makes it so abundant how.#AUDIBLE us movies are. and the camera cuts jesus fucking christ i could turn it into a drinking game#what's my verdict tho ????? tbh i thought it was cute. im still in awe of the suits tho if anything i give the movie full props for that#heh. props. get it. fr tho i love practical effects and yk what ill take it. cupcake was goofy as hell ngl but ill take it#highkey forgot coreykenshin was in the movie so it was cute being reminded he was there :) love him..#honestly it really was a movie for fans of fnaf already and i aint gonna act like i wasnt a fan of the series in its early years#def not a movie to watch on its own- not that the plot's incomprehensible otherwise but it prob just wont hit#like matpat and corey being there was neat and the credits song took me WAAAY back to when that song first dropped on youtube LOL#sorry ive turned these tags into a fnaf movie review. kayla didnt talk about it with me so i wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere LOL#im running out of tags Anyway i solemnly swear to only talk bout movies that ft mates that star in rgg henceforth <3#im lying of course. i dont know how to shut up <3 but ill shut up rn im making dinner. movie made me hungry for bacon....
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#i like hte myself ok#i know this is soo dramatic#but like. i wanna throw myself infront of a moving car. i took a walk last night and saw a car and the only thing i wanted to do was jump#infont of it and js end it all cause life fucking sucks i h8 everything and everyone. i love lana del rey tho. i love u guys aswell i know#it isnt mutal but wtv who cares right? me i care. i have friends but i get so wrapped up in these people living in my phone and it make#feel crazy cause i js want u guys to like me whicb is sooo weird. but all i want is for ppl to think i am cool and like every one of my pos#like i do for my fav people on here. also i want to be pretty but wtv doesnt matter. and i need to lose weight. sometime si wish i could js#stop eating but i cant i fucking love food and this makes me insane and i wish when i was a kid but my life also sucked as a kid and i have#always hated myself but wtv. i want to like js end it all but i cant cause ig ppl would be upset. i think i am touch starc=ved or smth and#all i want is to like spoon or be spooned by someobe but like i aint pretty enough to get a girl or a guy. i rlly want a bf i do so much. i#i js want one of those basic ass white guys with fluffy hair and tall and zstrong but again i aint prtty enouggh for hthat. i want a girl#with a sthomac cause that is hot asf but i also lovve girls with braids or dreads. and girls who love pink and are femindnene it is just li#what do i have to do to get prwttier i hate working out. i am js gonna stop eating. nvm that wont wotk i llve food 2 much. i wisj i could#like hurt myelf but i am 2 pussy and i dont really wannai just want to be happy happy. but i get to see my friend in a few days and that is#gonna be fun. i wish i was skinner i wish my face was skinner i want my thighs and ass to stay the same cause they r massive. i wish my#fingers and hands were slimmer anf longer. i wish y hair was prwttier and i wish my eyvrows were more even same with my eyes. i wish my#chest was a little bigger#ok that is t i will prob delete later#music is the only escaoe fr. lana getx it#i wish i smoked but i suck at itand i also hate it and almost lit m#y bed onn fire last time. bu i wanna smoke#it looks cool and ik that makes me sound like a stupid little kid but wtv. that is all i am right? my dad tells me a lot abt stuff i dont#need to hear abt and i dont mind but i prob shoudnt be hearing that stuff. i wish my dad wasnt bipolar. i wish my mom didnt let my brother#get away with so much but she is trying so why does it matter? she is trying. i hate oinline school i wish i could cry rn but i cant. last#time i criied was a few nughts ago and it sucked. it was just slow fat tears and wasny enjoyable it was js sad cause i had a horrirble pit#in my sthomac andi myself hate thar feeling. anf the only thing going through my brain was hanging myself. i am 2 much of a pussy to do it#i want to be hugged by some strong guy or some guy with noodle arms. let me love you pls. i wish i was a boy sometimes but i also dont.#my worth hinges on other peoples thoughts of me and it always will.#ouu girl u crazy crazy . crazy bitches give the best head and have the best pussy ong#when she batshit crazy but the pussy 2 good
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#i am just. convinced im doing everything wrong right now with my life tbh#i cant do anything for myself to help myself#i have to rely on everyone else to keep me going to keep me happy to keep me doing anything#everything that im trying to do rn while it makes me briefly happy just gives me anxiety. it makes me feel like im annoying im stupid#that people hate me for liking things or doing anything and its annoying to everyone else and im just fooling myself thinking it aint that#im just. i feel like the only reason im alive rn is to make it to wembley or else i have wasted so much of others time and money on this#im such a useless waste of space. i cant do anything. nobody needs me for anything. i could stop everything tomorrow#and nobody would notice#and i know i cant even do that cause im so fucking useless im just gonna continue to be a fucking burden#sorry im. my brain honestly just doesnt want to be alive anymore#i know this is 4.30am brain talking but at the same time. is it tho. if these feelings have been under the surface the past few days#im just gonna go to bed and not be able to sleep for another two hours at least cause im not allowed rest on this hellscape of a life#night is an absolute mess on main#tbdeleted
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Oh yeah... I don't think I ever mentioned my AU where it's basically Mob Psycho 100 but with Sgt Frog characters...
OH WELL MAYBE ANOTHER DAY
#Keroro and Reigen are the same person with different fonts#btw he's still an alien frog in this but has a decent human disguise for once without the#y'know#frog head lol#basically what Pururu has#Fuyuki figures it out the moment he meets Keroro#to which he casually mentions a month later after working with him and goes 'oh yeah because something something alien'#and Keroro's like 'yeah because I'm- WHAT HUH PARDON?????#I said I'll talk about it later and the Tumblr tags said think again#I'm gonna stop myself before it's too late ksjfjd#sgt frog#keroro gunso#fuyuki hinata#yeah this au aint fleshed out at all but we'll get there eventually#hopefully-#sgt frog au#until a better title is given lol
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