#when she batshit crazy but the pussy 2 good

[ma-lark-ey]

I feel like challenging GOD so in my first ever read of Harry Potter I will be listing all of my headcanons in one big master post and sending it into the void space of tumblr thank you goodbye. I have no concept over which of these are hottakes, which of these are widely accepted, and which of them are just me being batshit crazy because as I write this I have never once looked at the Harry Potter fandom proper and my only knowledge of it is My Immortal and the fact that TikTok thinks Harry's dad and Sirius' little brother should makeout. 1. Ron Weasley is autistic.

2. Neville Longbottom is half-Korean on his mother's side, and also probably wears goofy little frog overalls.

3. Ron is tall, Harry is Short

4. Harry's scar is smattered across his face like a lightning storm and not just one little bolt, that's pussy shit. Make that shit dramatic

5. Ron and Luna probably had a fling at one point. Autism for autism

6. No way this isn't fanon, but Luna Lovegood is autistic.

7. Ginny Weasley is the HOTTEST bitch in Hogwarts and she is AWARE.

8. In Goblet of Fire the entire little Ron and Harry arc happening there was that they had a summer fling and then broke up when Ron had his little pissboy arc and they were both babies about it and then went back to having their regularly scheduled bromance thank you goodnight

9. Harry is actually dating a new person each book, no matter how short-lived it is. Why? Comedy. It's FUNNY.

10. I think Harry and Ginny have a shotgun wedding at like, nineteen.

11. All I know is that in my brief dive into AO3 (re: I looked up this exact tag out of morbid curiosity of it was A Thing), Sirius/Snape were apparently one of the smallest ships with like only 2k fics which is wild to me, because that enemies to lovers??? Thought bitches would eat that shit up. I don't ship it, but it still was wild.

12. Sirius and Remus are in love. (post mortum: I have now dived just slightly in the fic of Harry Potter and realize this is widely accepted fanon.)

13. Hermione wears fun frilly dresses outside of school and actually really loves dressing up and being girly fuck this 'not like other girls' agenda going on with her. Put her in a pretty dress and let her frolic in a field with flowers.

14. Luna is a seer. She goes on to teach divination

15. I was gonna say something about in my little noggin Ginny raised her and Harry's kid as a single mom or whatever and it's a fic I'm gonna work on and also his name is Remus Weasley and he's a Slytherin but APPARENTLY that's just the entire plot of the Cursed Child as my HP special interest having bestie informed me. I just added in a Gryffindor pretty boy for my Slytherin Potter boy to make out with when JKR was too much of a coward to make him gay.

16. RON SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN HUFFLEPUFF.

17. Cedric Diggory lived a very long and happy life and had a lovely spouse - guy who got really attached to this dorky little dude, knowing full well how he died.

18. It takes Harry at LEAST two marriages to women to realize he's gay. The egg takes a very long time to crack.

19. Ron is straight. He's just. He's got such bi wife energy.

20. Ginny Weasley is a raging bisexual, and so are the twins, and so is Bill. And Charlie? I know in my soul that's a nonbinary.

21. Luna Lovegood? NOT a lesbian, sorry lesbians. I'm claiming her for the aromantics. That's right. She belongs to us.

22. Fleur Delacour was a lesbian. LESBIAN.

23. Harry and Dudley reconnect in their like, thirties/forties and actually become good friends I think.

24. Harry often does diy piercings in the bathrooms during fifth and sixth year, Luna helps.

25. Fred and Lee Jordan are boyfriends god bless.

26. Out of spite for JKR, here's a list of trans woman in Harry Potter according to ME: Ginny Weasley, McGonagall, Hermione, Luna, Lily Potter (her and James are t4t), Tonks (that bitch is nonbinary transfemme),

27. I will live, breathe, and die by my personal headcannon that Tonks and Remus are comphet and in a lavender marriage but they lovingly coparent their child together and regularly at parties Tonks goes "where's my husband? Oh, he's making out with his boyfriend okay cool." and moves on.

28. Draco Malfoy's patronus is that white ferret Moody Crouch turned him into in book four.

29. In my perfect world James Potter is alive and I love him most than anything, I'm holding him like a wet cat. i literally bought three stag plushes over the month I was reading this series just because I couldn't stop thinking about him.

30. I am ignoring the implications in the epilogue that Harry did not raise Teddy Lupin, because he did, actually. That was the last promise he made to his beloved Remus Lupin and if Deathly Hallows taught us anything it's that Harry Potter keeps a fucking promise <<3

31. Molly and Arthur heavily assisted Harry in his 'I'm gonna raise this god damn orphan to good y'all won't know what hit him. I'm gonna be such a good dad.'

32. I am literally IGNORING all these implications of the Cursed Child. Draco Malfoy is also a banger dad. i think he goes to counseling and sorts out his issues and tries very hard to not put such high expectations on his own kids. I think he tries very hard to undo the damage Lucius did to him, and the bad choices he made in trying to make his parents proud of him. I think he makes sure his kids know better than anything else, that all he wants for them is joy. He wants them to be good, happy people.

33. Just Lovers - Zerrazapriel says that Sirius' patronus is Moony and that's so fucking real and true of that fucking fic and I live by that now.

34. On a similar note, Molly and Arthur have matching patronus'

35. Fuck this 'hermione minister of magic' nonsense that girl is a leftist and would never join politics did jkr forget her own fucking canon of harry and hermione doing their absolute best to fuck the government over for the last half of the series? whatever the fuck. HERMIONE TEACHES CHARMS AT HOGWARTS.

36. I'm sorry I got so heated on that last one. I had thoughts. Anyways, Draco also goes on to become head of Slytherin and teaches DADA.

37. I was so anti-Draco for the entire first five books and then the last two books Happened and so now I'm just holding him so close to my chest. He needs therapy. And i think it takes him until their mid-twenties or so, but I think he does make amends with Harry and the crew and actively tries to come back from the actions of his youth, and obviously the Golden Trio and co are sympathetic because Harry himself in the books clearly could recognize Draco was acting on the instruction of his trusted adults, trusting they knew better than him.

38. this is not a headcanon but the wandlore of Draco having a unicorn hair in his wand and the unicorn hair wizards being the most difficult to turn evil and his wand ultimately being the one to defeat voldemort is sooooooo. He's such a product of grooming and I think about him. I want to study him.

39. YOU KNOW WHAT. what if I said harry trans woman who unpacks her gender after the war is over and has time to contemplate who she is as a person and her and Draco become a very cute and in love little couple in their early thirties??? what then???? (does this fic exist and if it does give me links)

40. I think the funniest mental image ever is if Harry just shows up to a party or whatever with everyone when they're like, 26 with Draco fucking Malfoy in his arm and is like "this is my boyfriend" with no further explanation or nothing and half of the group is like "no yeah this is an expected development" and the other half is like "THE BITCHBOY????" and yeah.

I will most definitely have more Harry Potter thoughts as time goes on but this is all I'll put into the world. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

[magpie-scribbles]

Incarceration: Rappa x OC

Okay lovies this is 100% N//S//F//W please do not read if you are under 18.

I needed to write some good Rappa smut content because I’m starving so have some Rappa x OC FILTH!!

Rating: E

Warnings: Smut, size kink/difference, masturbation, public sex, mild daddy kink 

Pairing: Kendou Rappa x OC (Hoshi Sakuretsu)

2 weeks…It had been 2 weeks since he and the other bullets had been carted off to Tartarus. From what he could tell he wasn’t in the highest level of security; and at least he didn’t have to share a room with anyone; which was fine by him, the room was already damn small with just him in it. Probably would have used his roommate for a punching bag anyway by now, he was so pent up; his blood sang and his bones rumbled; body aching for something more than being held up in this dog pen.

3 weeks… he had heard that if he was on good behavior he might be able to go out in the yard and mingle, and take lunch in the dining hall. He thought they were stupid when he first heard that ‘cause he’d probably just go batshit at the first smell of freedom; fuck he was starting to grow crazy in here. He had already made a few decent sized holes in the wall on the far side of the room, his knuckles hardly bled and his attitude only soured when it did nothing to relieve him.

There honestly wasn’t much to do, until he got to wander on good behavior; just eat, sleep, shit, and jack off. And jacking off he did a lot of, and it only seemed to make it worse, fuck it wasn’t the same.

He put another hole in the wall after one particularly aggressive session that left his cock feeling raw; cum splattered across his stomach and chest in thick ropes. Still he was hard and aching, twitching in the stale air of his stupidly small cell. 

He fisted his own hand in his hair and tried again, trying to pretend the hand gripping at his mane was exceptionally smaller. It wasn’t the same…

This time his knuckles bled a little more when they bit into the wall but it wasn’t in the least bit satisfying. He wondered what Hoshi was doing, if she was going as crazy as he was…well if she was cooped up she’d probably be going even more crazy than him. The idea of her going feral in her own cell, tipping over the bed, ripping pillows and sheets out of sheer boredom and stir craziness had him pumping his cock again. He missed it, fuck , missed her near manic energy, her scrappiness; missed her nails digging trenches into his back and chest, missed her biting mouth and wild eyes. 

He missed the sounds she made; her sighs, her coos, her screams; he missed the way she could barely take him but would always ask for more, more, more. Missed the way she made him feel, what she made him do. He missed the way she owned him. 

He wondered if she was laying away on her cot, whimpering out, hands down her panties, fingers pressed into her tight, wet pussy. He wondered if she was calling out his name as she desperately tried to get herself off.

“Rappa, Rappa,…Kendou”

He snarled as he painted his chest again, this release a little more satisfying than the last but still no where near close to what he needed.

He grumbled into the quiet air, still unsatisfied, still pent up and now covered in his own mess. He could hear the material of the scratchy sheet around his knees strain when he tugged at it, balling it up, wiping himself down before throwing it on the floor. It didn’t fucking matter if he didn’t have a blanket anymore, this place ran too hot anyway; he hated that too. 

He settled back down, god these beds were comically small! At least the pillow still had some fluff in it as he folded it under his head. 

He decided to not even bother pulling his pants back up; the fuckers could have a nice view when wake up call came the next day. At least it would provide him some entertainment.  

______

4 weeks… 

Finally, FINALLY he was getting to stretch his legs, though he really wasn’t sure he had been on any good behavior at all; they had probably just gotten tired of him breaking shit and cleaning up his messes. Didn’t matter, finally he could walk more than a few yards without hitting a wall.

The restraints biting into his shoulders weren’t exactly pleasant, though he guessed it could be worse, at least his arms still had some mobility…If the were smart they would have bound his arms completely. Still he wasn’t completely stupid and he really wanted this brief moment of freedom even if it was just going to the dining hall to get some grub.

The two escorts at his side were armed with nothing more than rubber bullets and stun guns, he had laughed when he saw them. He had made a snarky comment on how “that’s all they give ya’? Fuck it’s like they want ya’ to get pummeled.” They didn’t say anything as he laughed at them and their puny defenses. They had tried to act all nonplussed about his statement but he could see the apprehension in their eyes; and maybe…a little fear. That definitely brightened his mood some.

He had tried to make small talk as he was escorted but the two guards wanted none of it and ignored him for the most part, not that he really minded, they were probably boring anyway. 

The dining hall was a lot bigger than he had expected, and certainly much brighter than his cell, it nearly hurt his eyes when he entered, despite the air being filled with the smell of prison food, it somehow smelled fresher and less stale than the cell-blocks. He found himself breathing deeply.

“Don’t cause a ruckus.” 

He turned to the escort to his left giving him a hard sideways glance.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” he rumbled, flashing his teeth.

By the quick retreat and bristled expression of the guard, he knew he had scared him off; good.

“What’s his problem yah?” he turned to the other guard, his grin widening when the other man turned and left much the same way as the other. That’s right, fuck right off.

It was nice to finally move around, even though he knew he was being watched like a damn hawk, at least they weren’t all up in his face about it now. He struggled, the restraints becoming mildly irritating and moved to get a tray for some grub; the food was shit here but he’d had worse before, and it wasn’t like he was some sort of culinary expert. He just need calories, and a lot. When he got out of here there was going to be a lot of bulking he’d need to take care of.

For the most part people moved out of his way when they saw him coming, the few that didn’t see his approach to the line ended up on the ground; it wasn’t even like he body checked them, just elbowed them out of the way. His size and strength of his stride being enough to knock people over. 

At least the line wasn’t awful when he joined it, he wouldn’t have to wait too long to get some grub. 

“Woah you’re mega tall.” 

He looked in front of him and down. A woman stared back up at him apprehensively, grip on her tray trembling.

She wasn’t short, normal height, if anything maybe a little on the tall side, but he was a behemoth; he grinned menacingly.

“Ate my vegetables as a kid.” he replied snarkily.

“Ah…” she gave him a nervous smile and turned back around, clutching her tray closer to her chest. 

Fearful after just talking to him, pathetic, was he really stuck in here with such cowards?? 

A light bulb suddenly went off in his head and he glanced back down to the woman in front of him; puzzled for a second before looking around. It seemed like this was a co-ed dining hall; After the moment of curiosity he shrugged and supposed it didn’t matter, with everyone having some sort of quirk they were all on somewhat even ground.

He turned back to face the front of the line, bored now that his curiosity was satisfied. 

Then a flash of pink caught his eye, exiting the line ahead. All his attention zeroed in and his blood ran hot.

Hoshi

He hardly even registered the sound of pain as he dropped his tray directly on the head of the woman in front of him before making long strides towards the petite woman exiting with her food.

“Hey dude! No cutting!” someone grabbed his shirt. 

“Wait in line like everyone else h-” the fucker didn’t even finish his sentence before he was grabbed by the back of the head. He brought his knee forcefully up into the man’s face, a sickening crunch as the his nose caved like a house of cards, blood pouring out over his face and onto his pants. 

He felt his blood pump even hotter as he watched the now unconscious man crumple to the cafeteria floor.

Around him there were soft gasps, a few groans and ‘ew gross’ but once again all his attention was on the woman, who was now looking straight at him, eyes bright and face glowing with a smile.

“PUMPKIN!!” she screamed, throwing her tray and all the contents over her head in her excitement.

And he’s running to her, bulldozing anyone that got in his path, even pushing a few dining tables out of the way in his mad rush. 

She reached out to him, bouncing on her toes as he closes in.

By now security is probably trying to figure out what the hell is going on but fuck she’s right there, and he’ll be as bad as he wants to be. 

She jumped in anticipation and he scooped her up, hauling her up into his arms, grip most likely bruising as he squeezed her thigh in one hand and roughly cupped the back of her head. He stumbled, taking a few more steps before falling onto one of the dining tables; knees connecting uncomfortably with the attached metal bench, it didn’t fucking matter, nothing fucking mattered. She was already clawing at him.

He crashed his lips against her, growling loudly as he shoved his tongue into her mouth, his teeth clacking against her own in an animalistic display of dominance. She’s already making such pretty sounds for him and they’d barely done anything, she’s missed him and fuck he’s already so fucking hard.

He budged her further up the table, fully kneeling on the bench, which groaned under his weight. 

She bit his lips and pulled at his hair, and he can hardly stand it, it’d been a fucking month; he could feel himself leaking, the taught fabric over his dick becoming painful. He couldn’t stop himself, his hips already subconsciously humping the air, clothed dick rubbing against the cool metal table.

He doesn’t want to stop gripping the soft flesh of her thigh, but he wanted to know how much she missed him, just how sopping she already was for him. He removed his grip and pressed two fingers roughly against the crotch of her prison pants; she’s already soaking through them and he groans lowly.

“Fuck, lil’ sparkler, ya miss me? You’re fuckin’ soaked .” he growled against her mouth, before backing up a bit to see her expression. He’s embarrassed to admit he almost came right then and there when she looked back up at him, lips bruised and slightly bloody, pupils blown wide with lust. 

Her hand moved to his wild mane and she wound a chunk around her fist before yanking, bringing a lustful whine from him as she viciously tugged him back down.

“Don’t be so meeaannn. Rappa, please, no teasin’ be faaiirrrr.” she arched into him. 

God, she’s practically delirious for him, his cock twitched, and he humped against the table a few more times. 

He smashed his lips against hers again, drinking in her squeals as he ripped her pants from her hips and shoved a large hand into her panties. She practically screamed into his mouth when he pressed a finger into her tight heat.

“Fuuuuccckkk, dunno how ya can still be so tight aftr’ I’ve wrecked ya so many times.” he snarled against her lips, shoving a second finger into her and her back bowed in a pretty arch. “Look at ya take it.” 

He began to piston his fingers in and out of her, swallowing up her wails as she coated his hand in her slick. He knew he was going to have to be quick about this, to be honest he was surprised no one had done anything yet to to stop them, probably too scared, or maybe they’re getting off on this too. He growled at the idea, wanting to stake his claim even more.   

Hoshi scrabbled against his chest at the crook of his fingers and he felt her clamping down like a vice, he couldn’t help but let out a shaky laugh; fuck he missed that feeling.

Barely allowing her to come down from her first high he pulled her closer, further beneath his huge form; using the hand that was already covered in her essence he ripped her ruined panties down her thighs before pushing his pants down (pleased that he had decided not to wear boxers this morning) just enough for his cock to spring free.

He looked down at her small trembling form, her bright eyes honed in completely to his dick that was now bobbing between them.

“Yesyesyesyes pleasepleaspleaseplease.” he heard her chanting under her breath, fuck she was practically drooling at the sight of him; his head swam and he grabbed her hips harshly.    

“Fuck, sparkler, you’re gagging for it ain’t ya?” he pressed the tip of his dick up against her. 

“Rappaaaa, Kendou.” she squirmed in his hold, trying to impale herself on him, and it takes all his remaining brainpower to not just shove inside her.

He leaned in further, lips brushing against her ear almost tenderly. 

“Have ya been a good girl?” he rumbled, lustful grin splitting his face.

He felt her turn and then she whispered back.

“No.”

The sound that broke free from his chest was a feral laugh as he leaned back slightly and plunged his cock into her completely.      

She screamed in delight, and probably a little pain, but fuck he knew she loved it, and he quickly started a brutal pace, pleasure and heat zipping up and down his spine nearly immediately.

“Fuck, missed ya Hoshi; missed your mouth.” he gave her a biting kiss. “Missed your fucking tits.” he tweaked her nipples harshly. “Missed your pretty. little. pussy.” each word punctuated with a harsh snap of his hips. “Missed watching ya barely being able to take me.” he watched how her stomach bulged each time he bottomed out in her heat.

He leaned close again, one hand fisting in her hair, the other reaching up to grip the lip of the table; he yanked her head back sharply, causing her to arch and show her pretty neck.

“Missed everything about ya.” he growled licking a wide tongue up the expanse of her throat. 

The sound she made, he promised to burn into the back of his brain for the rest of his life; and then she was coming around his thick cock, soaking him and milking him for all he was worth. At this point he’d lost all control and he savagely pounded into her, using her as his personal cock sleeve, chasing the pleasure building and crackling along his spine.

Three more harsh thrusts and he’s coming, holding her down, balls deep inside her, as he throbs. The sound that bubbles up from his chest is more the sound of a beast than a man.

He can hear her moaning and giggling as he filled her to the brim, pulse after pulse of his hot seed until it’s dripping out of her and onto the table. 

His body hummed, flushed in utter pleasure, but he already knew it wouldn’t be enough, even before he came off his high.

“More.” he growls lowly and fuck if Hoshi didn’t wiggle excitedly on his still hard cock. 

He huffed, exasperated and in absolute adoration of her eagerness; ready to flip her over and mount her like an animal. But he was suddenly being restrained, thick cables slingshotting around his biceps, forcing his arms to his sides. Even in his lust filled mindset he could figure out what was happening and he couldn’t help but laugh; the cable tightening, he could hear what he assumes are the guards finally getting their shit together with a few ‘what the fucks’ and ‘fucking christs’. The cables tug at him and he took a step back, slipping out of the petite woman, he’d rather remove himself from her; it would be gentler than being forcibly pulled away. 

“Looks like our fun is over Hoshi.” He grinned. 

Two guards appeared at his sides and he sensed there are more behind him. Two more guards and a few nurses round the table and bundle up next to Hoshi. He bristled at the idea that they thought they’d need to bring medical support; he’d never hurt her, not in anyway she didn’t want.

“Oh but daddy we were just getting started.” she whined, coy smile on her lips, she was still laying on the table completely ravaged by him. He can see the nurses recoil for a moment, unsure of how to respond to this tiny woman who had just been fucked an inch within her life, asking for more. He knows how.

He laughed straining against his bonds, the guards at his side, readying for him to struggle.

“Well kitten, are ya going to be good for next time or bad?” one of the nurses is helping her to a sitting position while the other is wrapping a blanket around her. The look she pinned him with was enough to make his cock jump again.

“Definitely bad.” she licked her lips, gaze smoldering. 

“Enough! Jesus CHRIST!” one of the guards cursed beside him, trying to shove him into turning around and marching. 

He was in a good mood now, so he turned to face the much smaller man.

“Ya gonna help me pull my pants up, cause…ya know” he flexed his biceps against the cables. “Unless ya like looking at my dick then carry on.” 

He reveled in the man’s sputtering and watched as Hoshi was ushered on shaky legs passed him.

One thing was for certain, he wouldn’t be spending another month in here, and neither would she. 

Besides prison break would be fun.

[leporellian]

how i got into opera (unabridged)

i realize i’ve never mentioned how i got into opera before and it’s like. it was a whole ass Odyssey and i really feel like confessing my sins today.

‘so how do you find a special interest’ watch this.

RIGHT so i actually was exposed to opera all the damn time as a baby because my grandmother thought, for some dumbass reason, that opera calms babies down. which she was apparently right so i’m not gonna debate that shit but has she ever been to an opera. literally every damn minute of the ring cycle could traumatize a baby. literally what the fuck. but that’s not where this story begins because i don’t remember ANY of that shit.

anyway so as a kid i was always on that bullshit with THESE fucking things

these were supposed to make your baby smart or something but they didn’t work because i have the processing speed of the fuckin Pony Express. but they were good. (except for the beethoven one, which terrified me. fuck beethoven.) they were like, soothing images/puppets/toys with a backdrop of classical music scored on a marimba, which was like CRACK COCAINE to an autistic kid like myself so i watched these until i was in 4th grade despite the box saying ‘for ages under 3′ which really shows you how ineffectual these were at actually making kids smart. now this was like, the opera gateway drug, because it buttered me up into liking opera/classical music, which is a CAPITAL Sin.

so by this point i already like classical music. unless it’s by beethoven because he freaked me the F u c k out. which is where... 

PURRPALS FOR THE DS comes in

this game was literally a shameless nintendogs clone that was made to sell purina cat food. it was absolutely fucking bizarre. however i was a seven year old with a nintendo Dee Ess and toxoplasmosis gondii practically running in their Bloodstream i was on this shit like a hare in heat. but the important part of the gameplay was this guitar hero clone where you had to stage a fucking cat acapella group

it was easy as shit, being a badly designed game made for selling 

PURINA 

CAT 

LITTER, 

so i would immediately go to the hard levels, which were as follows.

- THE MAGIC FLUTE - RIGOLETTO - LA HABANERA - TORADOR

first of all these motherfuckers took one song from the magic flute and one song from rigoletto and said it was the WHOLE OPERA but THEY COULDN’T EVEN FIND A FOURTH OPERA SO THEY WENT WITH CARMEN TWICE. what WACKADOO Chicanery. also why the FUCK was rigoletto there it’s really the third wheel of this whole affair. anyway so since i played this shit regularly enough i was able to remember the song names, which, i had no idea what the fuck they were about but as a kid you never know what the fuck anything is about so i really was not bothered. i think i thought the magic flute was a ballet in the same cinematic universe as the Nut Crack Ker or something

anyway.

CHAPTER FOUR: THE FRESH BEAT BAND

I HATED THIS SHOW WITH EVERY CORE OF MY BEING. i don’t know WHY but i felt such extreme secondhand embarrassment when i saw this show at the ripe old age of seven that when the school’s music teacher, which was the same one that loudly declared her loyalty to Mitt Romney in class one day (which is a different but no less entertaining story) showed a clip of this to us it was the first time i realized nothing was stopping me from walking out of the school. (which i didn’t. because i was a pussy. but fuck this show.) there was some dumb ass episode where all of the characters were doing different music styles or whatever- i really wasn’t paying attention i was on the computer in the same room of the television looking up how much my littlest pet shop toys were worth on ebay- and then they start singing 

LA FUCKIN HABANERA.

“i know that song!” i said, which sounds like joyful recognition, but in my head i was thinking something more akin to “WHAT THE FUCK THAT BITCH IS STEALING THE SONG FROM PURRPALS ON THE DS. LEARN YOUR COPYRIGHTS YOU HOE.” my parents immediately went ‘nah it has to have a different name’, which is when my ENTP really came out. i don’t believe in meyers-briggs but i got entp on the test and it basically means ‘stubborn little bastard who will start an argument with Literally Anyone” which is Kin Me Id. anyway i started being all ‘no i KNOW because PURRPALS on the DS told me’ so my parents were like ‘fine let’s just make the kid be quiet’ and looked it up on itunes. No Shit, i was right, because i knew my

PURRPALS 

LORE.

so anyway my parents knew my grandmother was crazy batshit for opera, which my grandmother actually used to hate opera but then a friend of hers who liked opera killed herself and then she decided to listen and went ‘nah this is actually kinda a bop’, which again a whole nother story, so they immediately tell her that i know about opera. which i DIDN’T i just knew about PURRPALS on the DS. so now my grandmother decides “aight i’m taking the grandkid to carmen at the LYRIC OPERA HOUSE”. 

i was seven and i didn’t know what ANY of those words MEANT. but my parents made me wear a dress and a purse so i figured it was an Occasion. (i filled the purse with nothing but goldfish crackers. they weren’t even in a ziploc baggie inside the bag i just dumped like half a carton of them directly into the purse.) 

so anyway i liked watching carmen but it wasn;t like it was anything special to me at the time. like you could have replaced it with Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa and it would have the same effect. 

UNTIL ACT FOUR. 

my grandmother was never exactly aware of my reading abilities until i was maybe like, 13. she didn’t think i was actually understanding anything in the little program thing they give you. but i realized, right as act 3 finished, that carmen was going to be stabbed in the next act

ON STAGE

and i lost my shit.

“that doesn’t even make sense!” i told my grandmother as we left the building. (i thankfully didn’t make a scene but i was shaking like an abused grayhound, or some shit.) “don jose is a bad guy carmen would have stabbed him first.” (thankfully there’s a production where that actually happens. so some day i will sue them because they plagiarized from my filibuster in the lyric ladies’ bathroom about carmen when i was seven.)

“there are operas with happy endings!” she said. i wasn’t sure i believed her because i watched that one bugs bunny episode where they do wagner. 

so anyway, like 7 months later my grandmother tells my parents she’ll take me to see the magic flute, also at the lyric, because it’s a child friendly opera, which, it’s

AN OPERA ABOUT FREEMASONRY CULTS AND RACISM AND SEXISM WITH TWO OR MORE ATTEMPTED SUICIDES AND A HITMAN PLOT

but by this point nobody really cared and this time i was sure i wouldn’t freak because i had trained myself into not crying at movies, because my parents didn’t allow me to watch movies that made me cry so i exploited a loophole, which again, another story. i knew about the magic flute vaguely because it was in Purrpals on the DS. 

now that i knew what the magic flute was- vaguely, my grandmother told me nothing about it except that it was an opera- i asked my grandmother what rigoletto was. “oh it’s the same thing as the hunchback of notre dame!”

i still don’t know what the fuck she meant by this.

anyway i loved the magic flute- which had the same music as that baby einstein tape all those years ago so it immediately felt familiar- and as soon as i got home i went and decided that i was going to know everything to know about it. 

and that’s how i got into opera.

[jonathancrane-scarecrows]

100 Important Character Questions

Part 1: The Basics

What Is your full name?

Mikhailo Aleksandr Milkovitch

Where and when were you born?

08/10/1994 in Chicago

Who are/where your parents?

Terry Milkovitch is my dad, my mother... dont know her name.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

Yeah my sister Mandy. We are both close. Shes a fighter, strong like a Milkovitch should be. Shes not afraid to tell you what shes thinking and I love that about her.

Where do you live now and with whom?

Chicago with Mandy and Terry.

What is your occupation?

Thug, pimp, security

To which Social class do you belong?

Poor, never going to get anywhere but that's fine.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

Fuck no. I'm as strong as they get... well if you consider family a weakness then yeah. They mean everything to me.

Are you right or left handed?

Right handed

What does your voice sound like?

Noel Fishers voice = Face claim

What words and/or phrases do you uses very frequently?

Fuck off, Carrot Top, Tough guy, Fire crotch, Fuck you, shut the fuck up...list goes on.

What do you have in your pockets?

Why the fuck should that matter? Wallet, money... maybe a gun.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

I'm a jealous person... can get violent when it comes to Caleb... I dont like it when others touch what's mine. ( Hes really Caleb's but... you know.) I drink, smoke and do drugs. It's better than dealing with the shit I deal with. Have a hard time being who I am... if people knew I'd be in a ditch somewhere.

Part 2: Growing up

How would you describe your childhood in general?

Violent. I grew up learning how to fight and dealing with my father. Of course it wasent all bad. Mandy was there with me through everything. Even stopped our dad from beating the shit out of me when he found a kid kissing me. Was the first kiss I had from a guy.

What is your earliest memory?

My dad beating the hell out of a guy that didnt pay up for a service he had done for him.

How much schooling have you had?

Plenty. I dropped out but schools not for everyone.

Did you enjoy school?

Fuck no. People always think they are better than you and if your poor they look at you like your scum. I left when I could.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

My father of course. Mother left when we were young so everything I know Is from him. The good and the bad but that's what makes us Milkovitch.

While growing up, did you have any role models?

My dad but now I'd rather be far away from him as I could. Always in jail, causing fights. What a great role model right?

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

Never met my mother so nothing going on there. With Dad? Our relationship has never been the best. Mandy our relationship is amazing. I help her she helps me...Milkovitchs stay close to family. Through thick or thin.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Alive. Living the Milkovitch way is dangerous. All I want to to stay breathing.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

Beating up the biggers kids, proving I wasent weak. Spending time with my sister.

As a child,what kinds of personality traits did you display?

Violent, jealousy, stayed with family through everything, need to be accepted ( Not very open with others about why), cautious, careful ( When he nedded to be), responsible.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

Fuck no. Never been the popular type. Friends? Not really I beat kids up more than anything. They all feared me.

When and with whom was your first kiss?

I was 13 and was a girl... dont remember her name. My dad told me I needed to show interest in girls so I kissed her. Made him happy and got him off my back.

Are you a virgin? If not,when and with whom did you loose your virginity.

No definitely not a virgin... havent been in some time. I was 15 and no one knows but I said it was Angie... wasent her. Was a guy.

Part 3: past Influences

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

Meeting Caleb. Might not be a big event to others but to me it was pretty big.

Who has had the most influence on you?

My father much to my distaste but hes all I've got beside my sister with family.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Staying alive. This world we live in it's not the greatest. The strong are the ones that will survive

What is your greatest regret?

Being a pussy and not admitting my feelings. Remaining in the closet.. afraid my father will kill me if I admit what I am.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Does being a pimp count? I havent killed anyone yet. Came close many times with a gun pointed at them or me beating the fuck out of them.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

Fuck yeah I do. Been in Juvie a few times... ok more than a few. What can I say I'm a bad person.

When was the time you were most frightened?

When my father was beating the shit out of me when he saw a guy kiss me. The other got the worst of it.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

Well finding out you like it up the ass is something I'd say qualifies.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

Not being such a pussy about who I am. I'd change that fact because if I did I could be with who I wanted. Yeah my dad would be coming after me but at least I'd be worth it for Caleb.

What is your best memory?

Not many good ones but meeting Caleb for the first time was... it changed me.

What is your worst memory?

Fuck... I have too many bad ones to really say which was my worst.

Part 4: Beliefs & Opinions

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

Neither I'm a realist. I know how things are.

What is your greatest fear?

Loosing anyone close to me.

What are your religious views?

Honestly I could give less a fuck... but my family is Christian.

What are your political views?

Not like I vote so it dont fucking matter.

What are your views on sex?

Best fucking thing ever! Helps with a lot of problems. People should do it more often. Less stress, issues... it's just better for you.

Are you able to kill?

Yeah depending on the circumstances

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

Be a pedophile, I'll fucking kill one if I see one.

Do you believe in the existance of soul mates and/ or true love?

Honestly... I dont know. I feel something with Caleb I've never felt with anyone... it's kinda scary.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

Not being a snitch, doing what your supposed to do and beating people that dont pay you like they were supposed to. It's not hard. Everyone has problems.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings?

Depends who I'm talking with. I lie all the time.. I have to so my dad dosent find out about Caleb. I tend to be violent when asked if I'm gay.. I can't help it and fuck if Caleb knew how I felt about him... I dont know what would happen.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

If we went off what my father thinks then I would.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

Snitch. I'm not a fucking snitch. The day I do that would have to be a fucking important reason.

Who or what,if anything, would you die for( or otherwise go to the extremes for?

Caleb aka. Carrot Top.

Part 5: Relationships w/others

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

Depends if I know them. If I like them then they can see I'm a great guy. Of course if I dont know them and they piss me off they are going to end up bloody. In general you know me I'm a good guy, you dont know me I keep my eyes on you.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

Caleb... meeting him has changed my life.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

My sister. Shes strong and she hasent snitched on me. Thick and thin we are close and always there for one another.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

I dont have friends.

Do you have a spouse or significant other?

Caleb.... we arent married or anything so fuck off.

Have you ever been in love?

Yes

What do you look for in a potential lover?

Red head, batshit crazy, packing 9 inches.

How close are you to your family?

As close as I can be. We are there for one another though dads a dick.

Have you started your own family?

No

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

My family, they wouldnt leave me hanging or in trouble.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Myself... maybe my sister... and perhaps Caleb. Why fuck you that's why.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

My family and Caleb... I hope anyways.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

My dad. He would rather see me dead than let me be gay.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

Fuck no I fight with my fists, guns, anything I can get.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

Sometimes depends on the situation.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

No. I like who I like and large groups are not my thing.

Do you care what others think of you?

Fuck no ( A little)

Part 6: Likes & Dislikes

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

Fights... to an extent.. dont really have hobbies and I mostly do things for the family.

What is your most treasured possession?

One of Caleb's jackets

What is your favorite color?

Green

What is your favorite food?

Steak

What, if anything, do you like to read?

Dont read

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs?

I do all three, helps with stress.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

Fuck, really depends on what's going on. Things pop up all the time.

What makes you laugh?

Caleb... he makes me laugh a lot.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

Being called gay... I tend to get violent. Even if it's TRUE, living with my father has made me this way.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

Go see Caleb

How do you deal with stress?

Drink, smoke, do drugs, fuck... a lot of things.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

Both

What are your pet peeves?

Girls hitting on me all the time, being my dads punching bag... yeah

Part 7: Self Image & Other

What is your greatest strength as a person?

Surviving

What is your greatest weakness?

Caleb

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

To be stronger... to tell my father who I am and live through the beating.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted

Are you generally organized or messy?

Both

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

Good: Fighting, taking care of family matters, lying ( sometimes hes terrible but he thinks hes amazing at it)

Bad: Admitting my feelings, showing how I feel... to an extent, loving others

Do you like yourself?

No

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

Get over my Dads hate for gays and come out

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

In jail

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

Protecting my loved one

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

See Caleb, fuck, then go spend time with Mandy

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

Being the first gay Milkovitch why the fuck not?

What three words best describe your personality?

Attractive, energetic, reliable

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

Aggressive, dangerous, dedicated

If you could, what advice would you, the mun, give to your character?

Theres nothing to be ashamed of! Be gay be whatever you want! Your perfect the way you are even with the rough edges. Your doing good but you and Mandy need to leave your father.

Tagging: @sin-of-the-father , @magicalmusesandwheretofindthem

[laketaj24]

All The Stars Pt. 5

A/N: Firstly Thank you for 800 Followers!! Y’all are awesome! I really appreciate you all! I normally would have a Prompt List Celebration but I’m slacking on prompts now as it is! But if you have something in mind that you would like to see written send your requests HERE and I will add it to my queue. The taglist for this fic is still open if you would like to be added! And if you would liked to be removed say the word! 

Catch up Here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,  Warnings: SMUT. Language. 18+ Please. 

T’Challa’s home is lavish, but you expected it being the King and all. The pictures didn’t do Wakanda justice. Your eyes watch fascinated as the flying vehicles float over head and you can’t stop smiling watching the children play below.

“You can sleep here if you want to, or we have lodging set up for you. The children are with their chaperones and all is well.”

“How was it growing up here? This place is magical.”

“Yes it can be.” He smiled. “I grew up doing what most kids do. I was nothing special. I swear it.”

But he was something special. He was a gentleman, and currently infatuated with everything that you were. “Tonight there is a fire ceremony I would like for you to attend with me, harvest and then I want to take you somewhere.”

“I’ll go wherever with you.” The words slip out and you feel the sting of embarrassment trace your face.

“Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“Perhaps we can be a little late for the ceremony.” His warm hands sink to the nape of your back and he snakes his arms around you pulling you against his chest.

“I’m definitely okay with this.” You beam. “I have a little ceremony I’d like to try on you anyhow.”

“Is that right?” He says again and it’s your favorite line feeling his cheeks lift against your neck as his kisses in small lines down to your shoulders.

“Oh, it’s more than right, your majesty.” You turn towards him peppering kisses down his chest lowering yourself to your knees admiring his abs and the way his muscles form that perfect V. You tug at his pants lowering them to the ground admiring all eight inches of him. It was true your appetite for him was insatiable, three times on the plane. One time on the floor and just a while back in the shower. You never wanted him to stop fucking you.

You take him in your hand pumping up and down rubbing your finger over his tip and then places your lips in it’s place. Your tongue swirls around it and then you take him to the back of your throat using your hand to steady your pace. Your jaws stretched as you take as much of him as you can take. T’Challa sharply sucks air though his teeth. Your mouth is like silk around him. He hits the back of your throat pumping in and out of your mouth gently. His hands fist your hair and he guides you steadily. Hearing his pleasure has you soaking again. You make this about him sucking and gripping him to get him there, but he stops you standing you up in front of him.

“We’re going to be late.” He says tossing you over to the wall. He quickly unties your robe dropping it to the floor. You’re naked in front of him and instead of being shy your confidence level shoots through the roof. You trail your finger down your chest, over your breast and down your stomach. Your fingers dips into your pussy and then back out. You drag it back up your chest leaving a glistening trail of your arousal. “But I really don’t care.” He says throwing his shirt to the ground. He’s in front of you lifting your leg and anchoring himself at your entrance. T’Challa slams into you fully. He pulls you down to meet his thrust quickening his thrusts and then slowing. He kisses you once rocking into you.

Your cries of pleasure are intense in his ear. You call him King, Daddy and anything else that can express how happy you are to have him inside you. “Fuck me harder.” You plea raking your nails into his back. He obliges fucking you so hard he loses his balance for second. He falls back but his strength catches you both before you tumble to the ground. He never misses a beat sitting in his desk chair allowing you to ride him. You slowly wind your hips on him resting your head on his as the friction rubbing your clit on him starts to take over you. He allows you to chase your ecstasy. You thrust your hips on him erratically until you come and your body shudders above his. He doesn’t gie you time to recoup as your clit still spasms he throws you both on the bed and he pins your legs to the bed as he goes into you relentlessly.

“You feel so good around me.” He whispers. Those words send you back towards the edge and you begin to moan until your moan turn into weeps of pleasure from coming over and over again. T’Challa comes pulling out of you spilling himself on your stomach soon after. He can’t breathe for a moment, his eyes are on you and yours on his, “So late.” He laughs.

“T’Challa!!!” The cheerful voice bounces off the walls and you quickly get out of bed hoping whomever it was hadn’t heard you two.

He dresses quickly rolling his eyes and fixing your hair. “I want this ceremony to continue after I kick my sister out of my house.” He disappears from the room for a while leaving you to look through your things.

You sift through your bag unpacking a few items and turning on your cell phone. And you see it:

Erik: Touching down in Wakanda in a few hours. Better see your ass there 😈

You don’t panic but you feel the rush of fear pushing its way in. How could he just disappear and then come back like he never left? Not this time. You couldn’t. And you wouldn’t. T’Challa was a good man, kind and polite and more caring to you than Erik had ever been. You sit on the bed thinking of a good response. But it’s no point in responding it was sent hours ago.

“Shuri.” T’Challa hits the corner seeing Erik and Shuri standing there bantering. It was always a banter between them. “Erik.”

“Cuzzo, what’s the word round here? You seen Y/N? I texted her hours ago.”

“She’s lodging here.” T’Challa clears his throat. “Where Have you been?”

“I gotta report to King T’Challa every time a leave the country now? I had some business to handle, mind yours.”

“Selling stolen artwork?”

“You said it, not me.” The menacing smile graced his face as he looked at your shoes on the floor. “She comfortable as fuck huh? Y/N!”

T’Challa notices you as you round the corner. Your eyes widen noticing him nod to Erik. “You have company.” He pauses and feels the tension build. “We can give you two a minute.” He says opening his door.

“Just a minute, I’m so fucking grateful.” Erik adds sarcastically before he closes the door and you two are left there.

There was a such thing as toxicity in a relationship. Erik was toxic, but for some reason you wanted to give him a chance even when he didn’t deserve one. He stands in the foyer of T’Challa’s home with his arms folded. There was no real way to explain what was happening between you and T’Challa besides the truth. One plane ride and four rounds of sex later, you didn’t even want to be with Erik.

Erik didn’t say anything once you finally reach him. His eyes just pour over you while he drags his teeth across those full lips. You’re quiet for a moment and then finally you speak. “Erik, why are you here?”

“Didn’t answer my messages?” Erik raises his eyebrow. “Been occupied?”

“Don’t you walk your ass in here accusing me of shit.”

“Oooo, we extra defensive.” He shakes his head

“Why are you here?” You say once more

“I gotta have a damn reason to see you now?”

“No.” You fold your arms and look down at the ground. Why was eye contact hard for you? He done this to himself. He pushed you there. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you call me? Why do you keep doing this to me?’ All of the questions come out rushed and you can’t help but to throw them all at him, you want the answers. You want to know why he can’t be loyal to you.

“Damn ma,” He steps closer and you step back. Erik notices turning his head slightly. “I see the king done gave you special treatment. What happened to the guest lodging?”

“I work with him daily so it’s just easier.”

“You work for him or on him? Do I look fucking stupid, Y/N?” Erik laughs half-heartedly, his head shaking uncontrollably as he looks you up and down. “I’ve been gone two fucking weeks and you just go off fucking the King. I ain’t good enough for you, huh?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re fucking excused.”

“You disappeared ERIK! What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’m tired of waiting on your ass to act right. I can’t keep waiting on a fucking grown m-,” Your words are cut off as he walks over to you pinning you against the wall. You swallow hard looking up at him. There were certain lines that you can cross with him, you know it. You’d heard about his ex. You’d heard about the other exes. You bite your tongue, trying for once not to be the sharp tongue girl that dwelled inside of you.

“Two weeks and you fucked him?” You don’t answer as eh crowds your space. “He fucked you good huh?” He whispered running his lips across your ear.  Your body is betraying you wanting to writhe against his hard body as he takes up every ounce of space you had. “He made them legs tremble and your breath stop.” Erik watches as your breathing slows and you can’t take your eyes off of him. You notice the claw necklace for the first time, similar to T’Challa’s but golden. “Nah, I know not.” His thick fingers lift the seam of your pants and you push him back. He doesn’t move but his hands fall.

“You don’t know shit. Did you want something? You think you could roll up in here and just win me back… Nah, I know not.” You say mocking him. “Get out of my way before I scream.” You threaten through clenched teeth.

“It’ll probably be the only time you scream in this house.” He steps back with a devilish grin plastered across his face and holds his hands up. “I like this you, this “new man, new me.” But you batshit crazy if you think he gone chose you over Nakia.”

“They’re over.”

“Like I said, batshit crazy.” He reiterates.

The door opens and T’Challa shoots you a worried look. “Are you done with her Erik? We have an opening ceremony to attend.” He sense the tension in the room trying not to be over protective but his weary look and impatience for Erik takes over.

“Yeah cuzzo! I’ll let you and your date kick that shit off.” He nudges T’Challa as he heads towards the door. “See you around.”

“Where did you get that?” T’Challa says pointing towards the clawed necklace. “Shuri had been looking for it.”

“Well, she didn’t look hard enough. “ He salutes him and looks back at you. “See you around.”

 T’Challa is quiet once he leaves. You can’t figure out what it is but he looks worried. He taps his Kimoyo bead. “Okoye, was his necklace ever recovered?”

“No.” She pauses. “It explains how he survived. Are you dressed? The ceremony is in an hour?”

“I will be there.” He ends the call and you sit next to him on the edge of the bed trying to figure out the confusion. “Have you seen the dress my sister picked for you?”

“I have.” You beam. You take his hand in your playing with his fingers kissing each one. “You’re worried about something and I don’t want to go out of this place until you tell me. I know that’s asking much, but I don’t like you worried.”

He sighs. “Have you heard about my cousin and I? We aren’t best of friends, I love him though. I don’t trust him.” He explains but he doesn’t have to because you knew the feeling too well.

“I have heard.” You say simply.

“The powers of the King were not fully stripped from him, I fear.” He whispers as if someone is in the room. “That necklace around his neck was on him the day we thought he died. Then a month later he reemerges but he doesn’t want to fight me. He embraces it. He moved to Oakland, helped there, lead a normal life. And then two weeks ago he disappeared and reappears today with the necklace. We searched that river and couldn’t recover it.”

“So, what are you thinking?”

“That N'Jadaka is up to something.” He exhales. “And I’m going to have to handle it completely this time.”

 Tagging:  @wilddrabble @readsalot73 @kimistry27@sparklemichele@titty-teetee @amour-quinn@captstefanbrandt@valynsia @byzantium-glytch@suz-123@earthsmightiestasses@harleycativy@sunnyfortomorrow@sincerelysinister@pebblesz892@ceridwenofwales@ivarsshieldmadien@bang-kim-bap@samwinchxtr 

[ao3-hipster-fangirl-trash]

The boy in the hospital bed

Request: Hey! Can you do, like, a high school star wars au in which kylo ren (or ben) goes batshit crazy and shoots up the school? His main target is finn, but finn’s boyfriend poe takes a bullet for him? And poe’s dad kes alongside leia visits poe in the hospital, stuff like that. I really want to make this on my own, but I don’t know how to write :(... Thanks a lot for the help!

warnings: blood, school shooting, injury

Word Count: 1658

Notes: hey guys! guess what, I’m alive! anyway here have a oneshot with Finn and Poe

Pairing: Finn x Poe (Stormpilot)

Finn was in shock. The lady at the hospital who gave him a cup of water told him so. He had been staring at the wall for over an hour with absolutely nothing to say to it. His head was pounding and all he wanted to do was scream, cry, beg someone to tell him what the fuck had happened to Poe, but no one would. No tears would come and no scream made itself present.

There was an ache deep in his chest, burrowing itself there as he sat, waited. The hours ticked by and he could not sleep, could not eat. Everything had gone numb and yet the roaring rage which festered inside of him must have been what caused this in the first place.

He remembered when he first knew Ben was… iffy. It wasn’t that he was really into black, or that he had an affinity for history, it was what he enjoyed learning about in history. He loved stories of the holocaust and sometimes acted… odd when someone opposed it, could shoulder and all that. He loved learning about the civil war and those who opposed Lincoln. The only reason he enjoyed Hamilton was for the ‘scummy’ cast, as he had said.

His cousin, Rey, who happened to be one of Finn’s closest friends, enjoyed avoiding him at all costs. She tried to steer Finn clear of him through any means necessary and had begged her dad not to tell his sister about her orientation, for fear that Ben would find out and use it against her.

So it wasn’t really surprising to anyone that when he found out about Finn and Poe’s relationship he thought it his right to express his disgust as much as possible, including through aggravated assault which ended up with Finn in the hospital for a concussion. That was what had got Ben expelled in the first place.

This though, this was too much.

It was one thing to punch someone, it was one thing to shout and scream until your lungs were burning and your throat was in pieces, but to bring a weapon into a school and fire? That wasn’t right.

He couldn’t quite remember what happened properly, if it had been morning or after lunch. He had gone to school quite tired from staying up trying to finish his Media coursework, but none of it mattered, his Media teacher had been shot in the calf so he doubted she would be collecting it in any time soon.

The cupboard in science was where he had hidden, trying to discern the footsteps outside from the boots which his attacker had seemed to be so fond of. Was it a student or a teacher or him. Eventually he had pulled out his phone and called Poe, begging him to run even if Finn didn’t follow. then, Rey, telling her to never talk to Ben or believe a bad word he said about her, because she was wonderful no matter what. He had called Poe’s father, almost like a father to him, and choked out a goodbye, fully expecting the next shot to end up between his eyes. He texted everyone he knew and could think of, telling them about how much he loved them and wanted to thank them.

Leia, Ben’s mother, telling her it wasn’t her fault he might not make it out, and thanking her for the sandwiches she made him a couple of days ago which she gave to him with a smile and a pat to the cheek.

Jessica, thanking her for every minute she helped him with his physics homework and how much he wished he hadn’t kept her from her family.

Poe, poe a thousand times over telling him that he loved him, the words being clicked on the keyboard as quietly as possible to be said, but not heard. Not by Poe, not by Finn, certainly not by Ben.

Shots had rung out in the hallway, Finn had gulped and hid further in the cabinet. He had to remind himself to cry quietly. He, like the students in his class, didn’t want to die that day. And so he wept silently.

eventually, the hallway became quiet and no more shots or footsteps were heard. He couldn’t hear any breathing, though probably because of how loud his own was. He couldn’t hear any shuffling, or any sign of life. And so he ran.

Finn had bolted from the cupboard and sprinted out of the classroom, down the corridor and down the back staircase, swiftly followed by many of his classmates who’s names he wished he had learnt. If he had to pay homage to them, what would he say about the nameless face?

He ran, oh god he ran. He ran till long after his legs screamed at him to stop, he ran long after his lungs begged for air.

He ran and he ran and he ran, adrenaline coursing through his system and only letting him think about one thing and one thing only: survive.

He had the door in sights, he remembered seeing a glow of light in the relatively dark hallway, the windows shining as the light of an angel would, beckoning him and begging him to run just a little further.

And then the light had been blocked out.

Standing in front of them was Ben, with a lopsided psychopath’s grin, staring down his prey. His eyes were only focusing on Finn as he removed the safety in his gun and raised it. The entire world seemed to slow as the trigger was pulled.

Finn barely remembered hearing the scream from near him, and the thunderous footsteps which came towards him. He remembered seeing a form suddenly hit into him and the dull thunk of a bullet impaling itself into flesh, and then, blood.

It wasn’t his blood, it wasn’t him panting and gasping for breath, it wasn’t him desperately clawing at his boyfriend, no, that was Poe.

Poe’s ragged breaths barely escaped past his lips as he collapsed on the ground. His blood was soaking through his and Finn’s shirt through the would which was bleeding heavily. His eyes had become glassy and Finn could swear that in that moment, his heart stopped.

He didn’t realise that the students behind him had taken down Ben, kicking the gun as far away as possible, he didn’t realise that someone had screamed for a medic, or that the person who screamed was him. He couldn’t remember getting in the ambulance or being given a blanket. All he remembered was sitting in a hospital waiting room chair, staring at a wall for hours.

He had become vaguely aware of a comforting arm slung around his shoulder in around about the 3rd hour. He didn’t dare look up, for fear that if he did he might find himself unable to stop crying, but around the 5th hour, the arm withdrew, and he regretted not seeing who had offered him comfort for 2 hours.

When the person came back, he looked up.

Leia Organa, Ben’s mother, was sitting next to him. She had a small bag of crisps in her hands, and she was trying to open them, but to no avail. They were trembling too much. Instead of looking away, or perhaps screaming at her, or even running, Finn simply took the crisp packet, opened it and handed it back to her. It wasn’t her fault.

Her breath was shaky, of course it was she loved Poe. Though the rugby coach had a nerve as hard as a coffin nail, seeing the goofy boy who always came out of a game with a black eye and smiling, her favourite player shot by her own son, that rattled her.

Finn remembered when Poe had asked why their had been no American Football team, and Leia had simply smiled and said that “it’s for pussies.” Of course, it had been because of the British curriculum, but she never let anyone know that. Now she wished more than anything to tell Poe exactly why they didn’t have an America Football team, for him to laugh, instead of lying lifeless in surgery.

By the time the doctors came out, hands having been freshly bloodied and then washed, Finn was asleep on Leia’s shoulder, and her on his head. The nurse who had offered Finn a water a few hours ago came back and gently shook him awake, upset that she was disturbing what was probably the last good night’s sleep he was ever going to get.

The one thing that the nurse was grateful for was that it wasn’t bad news she was delivering.

She’d never seen anyone run so fast to a hospital room, despite the fact that the patient was completely dead to the world. It was almost as if his life depended on seeing the patient, alive and somewhat well.

Finn had never felt so relieved to see someone unconscious. He watched the gentle rise and fall of Poe’s chest, the small breaths which escaped from him affirming that he was indeed alive, and suddenly it hit him. What if he had died?

All at once, all of the emotions which had been stirring within him burst through, bringing forth hot, heavy tears which streaked down his face, still grimy and unwashed after hours of waiting. Sobs broke through his lips as he watched his boyfriend slumber. He wasn’t still, wasn’t unmoving, god he was alive.

Leia came into the room, instantly engulfing Finn into a hug and letting him weep on her shoulder. Though she got through the death of her husband, though it was her son who had done this, and even though he was going to rot in jail for the rest of his life for this, Leia couldn’t find herself caring for what would happen to him, and instead cried for the boy in the hospital bed.